#there are so many little moments that add up

[h5eavenly]

Fallen Star┃Jake Sim

Twenty-four - a little of me, warnings: slight mention of death and descriptions of grief etc..

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You had woken up feeling awful. It doesn’t really come as a surprise not when these exact moments have been recurring like daydreams that you somehow swim through with a hazy mind and aching limbs. It all started with a slight cough and a runny nose at the beginning of the week, nothing that was too hard to handle for you. The weather was starting to turn crueler, your clothes layered more, thicker in fabric so when you woke up the very next day completely fine you had guessed that the seven cups of tea you had dawned throughout the previous day had surely done their magic.

You were so wrong.

Your body had decided to collapse on you in the middle of the day. Dizziness sneaking into your mind as if you weren’t just running away from Sunghoon with a laughter so loud you were sure you were gonna turn someone deaf. Thankfully Jake was nowhere around to see you and as Sunghoon was fanning you while you lied down on one of the dressing rooms couches you had made him swear not to tell a soul about it – given his love to announce everyone’s news like they’re his own.

So, it didn’t take you long to figure out there’s definitely something wrong with your body, perhaps it was exhaustion yet no matter how many hours you manage to drown in sleep nothing seems to be helping. You make a mental note to get a checkup thinking it might be an iron deficiency or something along these lines.

And yet each day you open your eyes there is something else wrong with you. be your aching body or a scratch in your throat you can’t seem to cough. It’s torture and it feels like your body keeps toying between the line of being sick and healthy, not sure where to lean into more.

“Jesus. You look awful.” Sunghoon comments as soon as you meet him in front of the elevator.

“Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with your face?” Sunoo adds from beside him with a look of unrestrained disgust etched into his face.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence guys.” You reply with a roll of your eyes, sniffling as you walk into the elevator, and they follow while the cold seems to trail as quickly swirling through the space, and you tighten your arms around your shaking body.

You should have taken a painkiller before leaving your apartment.

“Do you even have makeup on?” Sunoo asks, his disgust is washed away by a look of pure worrisome instead. Although the way it’s directed at you somehow feels offensive rather than warming.

“Yeah. I have concealer on.”

“Yikes.” Sunghoon coughs.

“Maybe you should try a different brand. You know something that actually covers your dark circles” Sunoo pouts, his eyebrows knitting in what seems to be pity as his hand rubs your shoulder soothingly. It takes a few counted seconds for you to register his words. The insult sneaked into it has rancor slipping into your feature just as vast as you squint your eyes at him.

“Are you worried about me or the brands of makeup I use?”

“Your makeup. Duh.” Sunoo rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone and Sunghoon snickers from beside you.

You think you’re aware that you don’t look your best. Although to be quite honest you’re not as worried about your face as how the state of your body is stamping its anxiety deep within you. You don’t get sick often, make sure to take care of yourself in that sense at least and the thought of being home, cuddled up in your bed with a snotty nose and a pounding headache isn’t very exciting and nor do you wish for that to happen.

You’re really praying to every fucking god that exists you’re not actually falling sick.

You’ll be fine though – or at least that’s what you think. That’s what you keep praying for -

Please god please please please!!

At this point you have had your fair share of showing up to work half a mess a day then fully got it together the next day so a few of perturbed coated comments from Sunoo and Sunghoon aren’t gonna bother you too much.

However, it does get to you when you’re face to face with Jay and Soojin - who seem to have tagged along after the two of them sharing a breakfast together - You don’t think Jay has ever been this surprised or is he horrified? While looking at your face as he is right now. You blink at him and as his stare stretches a second too long you wonder if you have grown a third arm in the time you walked from the elevator.

“Oh, you look...” he crosses his arms, his eyes sweeping over your figure as he tilts his head. As if finding a word to describe your state is harder than it appears to be “not every good.” He settles with. Cringing at himself or at you. You’re not very sure of anything anymore.

“For fuck’s sake guys okay! I look like an ugly duckling I get it!” you exaggeratingly whine throwing both of your arms in the air as if it expresses your distress and throw yourself onto the couch with a dry sob and bury your face into one of the pillows. Nor your cry or attempt to suffocate yourself with the awful scent of fake leather seem to be working nor gaining you any grain of commiseration because Sunghoon starts cackling from behind you. Almost as clamorous as your sob.

“Aww yn. Don’t mind these silly boys. They’re just being dumb.” Soojin coos gently, sitting down next to you and turning you on your back and you welcome her with a pout that probably does resemble an ugly duckling.

“Like always.” She adds, raises an eyebrow at Sunghoon who shuts up almost immediately, his face turns expressionless in the blink of an eye, and he pretends to be busy examining the snack table. That is empty. while Jay looks away from you. With an awkward scratch to his neck, you could almost detect the wheels in his head finding error in his words. 

“Are you sick?” She asks, tone much softer and clement as she moves her hand up and down your arm. You could stare back for a few silent minutes, mouth slightly agape at the power Seo Soojin seem to contain with merely existing. 

You don’t think you could ever make Sunghoon shut up this quickly even with the presence of weapons nearby (not that you’ve ever tried. You definitely would never do such a thing).

“I think I’m just a little tired.” you reply, remembering to close your mouth when it feels too dry. 

“You don’t look a little tired though.” She rests the open of her palm on the skin of your forehead and you shiver “thankfully, you don’t seem to have a fever.”

“I do have a bit of a headache.” You say, sitting up probably when you almost feel your body slipping down the couch.

“Maybe you should head home.” She rubs your shoulder soothingly.

“And do what?”

“Rest.” Soojin blinks at you slowly as if the dumbest question has just tumbled out your mouth. You wonder if you have managed to lose braincells while growing a third arm.

“Oh, I’ll be fine don’t worry. Besides, I probably have so much to do and- “Soojin doesn’t even let you finish turning her head away from you towards Jay. Yet her palm remains. It’s warm against your shoulder in contrast to how freezing the weather outside is. 

“Jay, does yn have anything urgent today?” 

“Not really. Jake’s schedule is very light these days and I could pretty much handle it on my own.” The response comes immediately that you have trouble keeping up, eyes darting between the two.

“Great!” she turns to face you again; a smilemounts up her face and it’s somehow as warm as the heat of the missing sun “I’m getting you an uber and you’re going home to rest!”

“Soojin I’m fine seriously. “Once again, she doesn’t give room for you to argue, your words – or rather complaints melting off your tongue when she stands up from the couch, pulling you up with her.

“You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself yeah?” she says, and you hesitate for a few seconds, unsure of what to say back to such tenderness “we need to remember to be gentle with ourselves too.”

“Okay.” You sigh and she smiles “If I feel worse then I’ll leave!-“ you add and her smile vanishes, replaced by the shaking of her head.

“Jay.” She calls turning her face away from you and he straightens in his seat “call jake and tell him that yn is taking the day off.” Jay obliges almost as forthwith as your exhale. With no questions asked and you could only stare between the two, an amused smile tugging at the edge of your lips with a bigger strive to balance on your feet.

As Jay brings the phone to his ear he seems to notice your eyes on him, however he doesn’t seem to notice the sparkle that comes to life at witnessing affection tinting the air, at knowing there are deeper emotions between two people that they aren’t as aware of.

“Ivy’s the boss here. whatever she says, happens.” He says with a shrug, your eyes shift to Soojin, and you think your smile grows bigger as the slightest, lightest hue of pink settles upon her cheeks. It could be passed by as her red sweater bringing color to her face, the light of the room or maybe it’s the tint she applied carefully before leaving her house.

But you know, and she knows that such a display of sentiment comes from something a lot more cavernous and if not for her tugging you out the room while you’re still attempting to fight the decisions already made, you’d think you’re somehow intruding into a forbidden territory.

“That guy is whipped for you.” you comment, bumping your shoulder into hers with a giggle.

“No, he’s not.” Soojin denies, woven with stubborn rebuttal and a shake of her head “He’s that way with everyone.” She adds and it comes out much softer. Like a hushed conviction.

“He doesn’t even listen to Jennie the way he listens to you.” your voice grows louder in strives to prove your truth and she shushes you when you pass by a group of staff members “and she’s his actual boss!” you whisper yell. 

“Shut up your uber is almost here.” She chuckles tinting the air with sparkles of affection and it brings a warm smile to your face to witness such a tale.

“Why does he call you Ivy anyway?”

“It’s my English name.”

“That’s cute. You must be special.” You wiggle your brows at her and then a sneeze interrupts your teasing, followed by her giggle as she pushes you into the backseat of the uber.

“Very cute. Now go rest and if you need anything don’t hesitate to text me.” She urges a warning in her gaze that displays her sincerity and perhaps you are a lot sicker than you thought or maybe your head hurts a lot more than when you first woke up because a very strange ache to pout and cry like a child almost takes over you.

Deep down within all the regrets and the shame you keep locked away, a strand of guilt remains there at all the times you were mean to her before. A part of you wishes you could blame your foolishness on the declining state of your health.

“Thank you.” you tell her, and you think Soojin sees through it all and you think she knows you’re about to cry so in the next moment she’s slamming the door shut and points to her ears with her index finger.

“I can’t hear you!” her voice is muffled by the glass of the window and it’s more than ample room for your chuckles to fill the car and gains you a strange look from your uber driver.

On your way home a gentle rain grazes the rooftops across the city, and the sky remains gray even when you’re inside your apartment. You change your clothes and sneak into your very comfortable warm pajamas. You sniffle as you brew your close to 50th cup of green tea this week. Silence fills every corner and despite your throbbing body you realize you’re not sure what to do if you’re not working.

You have been working for as long as you remember, have taken up part-time jobs as soon as you were conscious enough to digest the fact that money was everything. Especially in your case so you always remembered to suck it up. Even when you were sixteen waiting tables in a shitty diner and your boss had thrown inappropriate comments your way daily. You sucked it up. and sure, you have had days off and you have fallen sick before, but it’s been so long. That you feel like a stranger in your apartment when it’s light outside, when your body knows you should be working.

That, accompanied by the fact that the silence gives voice to your thoughts, for your anxiety to bloom and before you gain enough power to shut it down you have already dived into them. Your mind drifting to all the events you have been too busy to think about.

Niki.

Jake

Niki

Jake

Niki.

You rub the sides of your head with your fingers and then you’re taking your hot cup of tea into your living room. You sit on your couch with a groan at the throb persisting in your limbs. You reach for your phone and take small sips of your tea when you dial the number of your friend.

“Thick or regular?” Heeseung asks as soon as he picks up your call.

“Uh-“ you blink at the black screen of your tv “What are we talking about exactly?”

“Soy sauce.” He answers, the voice of strangers around him gives away his crowded surroundings.

“I didn’t even know there’s such thing as thick soy sauce.”

“Apparently thickness is taking over the world. That’s why bbls are a thing yn.” you snort.

“Maybe you should consider getting one.” A clear offended gasp from Heeseung cuts through and for a moment you would think you have insulted the entirety of his family tree.

“Okay I’m surrounded by soy sauce and you’re talking about how flat my ass is I’m so overwhelmed right now.” The gravity coating every word of his has you bursting out in laughter “It’s not like I’m getting backshots soon.” He adds and you choke on your laughter, your tea almost burns the skin of your thigh if you aren’t careful enough.

“I will be the one doing backshots,” you can almost hear the prideful smirk in his voice.

“Okay moving on from you and your shots.” You snort sounding somewhere between disgusted and petrified “Are you at the supermarket?” you ask, placing your cup on the table and adjusting your legs on the couch.

“Yeah. I forgot to make an order of Soy Sauce for the restaurant, so my dad is punishing me by making me go buy some.”

“You seem to be having fun so is it really a punishment?” you chuckle, leaning your head against one of the pillows and for a moment your headache subsides for a bit. Heeseung hums an agreement.

“What’s up with you? you sound like shit.” He asks after a few beats of silence.

“Thanks, I only heard that like ten times today.”

“Are you sick?”

“Probably. I’m really overwhelmed right now too.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Unalloyed concern clads his tone, and you sink into quietness for a few seconds before sighing.

“I’m honestly still really worried about Niki.” You mumble.

“What did that fucker do?” The sound of a child crying rises in the background and your head slightly pounds at the noise.

“Nothing. I’m just worried about him. I know he said he’s gonna retake his tests, but he has never failed anything in his life Hee.” You lie flat on your back and the sound of crying grows louder “Never. Even when he was in and out of hospitals so I can’t help but worry about him.” You add.

“Yeah I know – hold on-“ there’s shuffling on the other line. Heeseung’s voice grows a tad further but still coherent enough for you to hear “Hey can you stop being a little bitch?” The sound of crying abruptly stops and you blink rapidly at your ceiling with attempts to make sense of what’s going on.

“Or go fucking cry and be a little bitch in a different aisle.” He adds and then there’s an unsettling silence. It doesn’t last long, and it’s interrupted by a loud wail followed by an ear piercing “MOM!!”

“Kids these days am I right?” Heeseung says, voice clearer and tone nonchalant.

“Heeseung did you just call a kid a little bitch?”

“Yeah. Anyways back to Niki,” you open and close your mouth a handful of times, closer to speechless but then you’re shaking your heard with reminders that this is Heeseung and at this point in your lives it’s little that surprises you with him.

“Yeah anyways. I was wondering if you know anything about what's going on with him? Maybe he felt comfortable talking to you about it.”

“Not really. He’s been acting the same too.” He replies and you faintly exhale. Feeling a little defeated and lost with what to do with your worry “If you’re that worried about his grades dropping, I can talk to him about doing less shifts at the restaurant until his exams are over.” He adds with a hum, seeming a bit absentminded “I don’t know if he’ll be happy about it though.”

You try to let his words permeate your mind with inhuman effort and as you tilt your head at nothing in particular it takes you 10 seconds to comprehend what he just said. You sit up with confusion and then shock pushing you forward.

“Hold on,” you suck in a breath and your brows scrunch “What do you mean shifts? He’s been working at the restaurant?”

“Shit yeah. it’s been a while now. You didn't know?”

“What the fuck? No I didn't know. Why would you give him a job Hee? You know his body can’t handle it.” you berate, frustration woven in your tone.

“I don’t fucking know bro. he told me he needed the money, so I gave him one.”

“Did he tell you what he needed the money for? He has been selling his paintings online why would he need more money out of nowhere.” You run your hand through your hair tiredly, your body growing hot and you aren’t sure if its irritation manifesting in your veins or a fever.

“I really don’t know yn.” Heeseung sighs on the other line “But either way I’ll talk to him when he comes into work later. Don’t worry.”

“That would be good, thank you.” you reply, not worrying is an impossible task.

“Of course.”

“I’ll talk to him about everything properly once I’m over this cold or whatever it is. I don’t want him to get sick.” You say falling back onto the couch and stretching your legs. They weigh heavy and your heart feels heavier in your chest.

“Yeah, you better rest for now. I’ll talk to you later and text me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

As soon as you hang up, your anxiety seems to have doubled, Like ghosts swarming by your feet and slowly it feels like they’re taking over every cell of your essence. A strand of penitence comes to life in the midst of it all and you can’t help but wonder if perhaps were negligent of Niki due to how messy your life has been these past few months. Did you not pay enough attention to his struggles? How long has it been and when did he ever need anything and didn’t feel comfortable to tell you? Was there a stretching distance between you that you hadn’t noticed?

The thought is terrifying to you, it shakes you from within and when you check the time on your phone, it feels like it hasn’t moved ever since you stepped foot into your apartment. You close your eyes with a shuddered breath

Somewhere along the worries plaguing your mind like permanently sharpened needles and your hands digging for solution you manage to doze off on your couch. Curled with your knees held to your chest and wrapped with your arms. You aren’t sure how long you slept. It’s long enough for the rain to subside and short enough for the gray clouds to remain. The sky, mystified by the lack of light and night, is yet to unfurl.

The only reason that’s strong enough to pull you out of your sleep is the sound of your doorbell reverberating through your walls. And at first you think it’s a part of your dream but you’re picking apples and they’re crispy red and shiny but there’s a dying fish by your feet and who the fuck is at your door?

You open your eyes with a croaky groan. Your head pounds with an even worse migraine and your stomach is clenching in excruciating building nausea. You sit up and if you thought you felt awful earlier then it’s nothing compared to this. Like every bone in your body is aching and your fingers itch with an urge like sneaking through your flesh and squeezing tight.

Your doorbell rings again and this time it’s repeated, wrapped in evident panic at the lack of response from you and you finally decide to move. Shuffling to your door and maybe you are still in a hazy dream because as soon as you open your door Jake is standing there. Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that has you blinking into reality. His hair is undone, falling over his eyes naturally and his skin glimmers just the same. He looks like he just showered, and you almost don’t recognize him in his plain white sweatshirt topped with a brown jacket and jeans.

You eye him scrutinizingly, taking note of the two plastic bags he’s carrying.

“Jake? What are you doing here?” your voice is shattered, tinted by the remnant of your sleep and then confusion.

“Yn.” he exhales as if he’s relieved, he’s not stumbling upon your corpse and instead you’re alive “Jay told me you were sick and I was gonna send you some stuff but uh – “ he speaks hastily, hand scratching at the back of his neck and eyes fleeing from you and his words almost as scattered as your thoughts and perhaps that’s why it feels like you don’t understand anything he’s saying. His gaze finds you and he clear his throat. Almost like he falters at your silence.

You must be really sick or still dreaming.

“Anyways are you okay?” He asks hastily yet gently, and he remains gentle in the way his voice infiltrates your being, benign in the way he looks at you as his gaze darts over your figure and then they linger on the discomfort painting your features. It has his own brows furrowing deeper with growing concern.

He tells himself he shouldn’t be this panicked – this nervous. Shouldn’t let it show so obviously, clearer than the gray skies. Albeit he had practiced every word he wanted to say to you, all the excuses he was ready to spill upon finding his way to your home. Uninvited and perhaps unwelcome. For fuck’s sake he thinks he bought the entirety of the small convince store close to your apartment building and there’s embarrassment brewing in his blood, his excuses withering at the tip of his tongue the deeper your discomfort seep into your face.

And no words of his permeates your mind strong enough and instead all you could think about is your head is pounding, and you need to sit down or bash it against the wall. It’s solely why you don’t say anything back and instead turn around in search of relief.

“Yn.” Jake calls with scattered disconcertment as he follows you inside, the plastic bags are a hassle, and he curses himself yet remembers to close the door behind him and his voice echoes through your mind and your living the room when he calls again “Bunny.”

You sit down on your previous spot on your couch, the room is darkened by your blinds and when you bury your head in the palms of your hands it’s not quick enough for you to not witness Jake kneeling in front of you with no hesitation, his bags abandoned on the floor as if he hadn’t spent wasting minutes on deciding what to get, what’s best for you. he doesn’t touch you and his hand hovers awkwardly above your back and yet you swear you could feel its heat as if he is touching you.

“Bunny what’s wrong? Are you dizzy?” his voice betrays an unsubdued concern almost frantic, and you deny his question with a shake of your head.

“Can you talk to me? I wanna be able to help you okay?” He gently coaxes and you keep quiet because you could still sense his hand hovering, and you wonder why can’t his hand be as gentle “Can you tell me what you’re feeling? Mhm?” he suggests once again.

“My head hurts so bad.” You whimper and it feels so silly, the urge percolating into you to cry. It’s the type of pain that makes you wish you could peel your skin off. Abandon your skull somewhere.

“Okay.” He stands up and you peer up at him through your palms and he’s looking around as if he’s trying to decide what he should do next. Evidently nervous as he runs his hand through his hair “Painkillers. I’ll get you some painkillers.” And then he’s walking towards one of the bags he was carrying, digging through them with seemingly no avail as he curses under his breath.

“Fucking hell how did I forget to buy painkillers?” He berates himself, digging into the second bag only to end with failure. “Do you have any painkillers?” He asks looking up at you and the sight of you on your couch huddled up in pain even if it’s something as minor as a mere headache sends the same ache dripping from your fingertips and nestling its way right to the middle of his chest, digging and digging.

He doesn’t wait for your answer and seconds pass by and then you hear him rummaging through the cabinets of your kitchen. His search doesn’t last long thanks to the painkillers you had left on the counter this morning with complementation. You feel his presence and there’s a glass of water in his hand.

“This will make you feel better. Come on bunny.”

He’s standing in front of you again and weirdly enough the way he speaks as if the autumn sunlight is in his voice rather than the cruel winter outside makes you feel vulnerable and when he offers comfort in the palm of his hand, places the glass of water on the table you could only manage to shake your head once again with denial.

“I’m really nauseous and I don’t feel like I could take anything right now without throwing up.” You complain with a snivel and your tone breaks as if you’re about to shed tears and Jake feels it hit him in the pit of his stomach. It’s uncomfortable and unjust because despite how scratched and heavy his heart is your pain still manages to nip at him in different places. As if there’s no way for him not to feel you.

You leer at him and your eyes are misty, you see his hands clench then unclench by his sides and you imagine he’s fighting against restraints to not touch you. His teeth sink into his bottom lips, his fingers dig crescents into the tender skin of his palm. And you wonder how a feeling as tender manages to suffuse within you. You wonder how your mind finds room amidst the pain to fantasize about him when he is right in front of you.

But then Jake is kneeling right by your knees once again and your eyes widen only slightly when he replaces your hands with his. Pressing his thumbs into your temples.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh. Doing this helps me with my headaches sometimes.” He explains and you shut your eyes when he applies light pressure with his fingers. And yet you are overly aware of how wavering you persist to be.

You’re unsure if you’re dizzy because your body is catching up to how weary you feel or because he’s suddenly so close. Close enough to feel his breath hit your face, the pads of his fingers are rough and yet contrastingly warm and it’s been so long since he touched you.

“Is there anything else that’s hurting you?” He asks – whispers delicately - after a few moments of silence with only the sound of your intermingled breaths.

“My body hurts too.” You reply – whisper back just as delicately - and you can’t fight against the small pout jutting your bottom lip out. You think if you were in the right state of mind, you’d be cringing at how dramatic you’re acting.

“Thankfully you don’t seem to be having a fever.” The swipes of his thumbs circle your skin soothingly “You’ll be okay.” He reassures, applying harder pressure every now and then. For a fleeting moment you aren’t sure if he’s trying to comfort you or himself.

“I have you.” it’s a faint whisper. Barely inaudible and for a different fleeting moment it feels like a lie your sick mind had conjured up to feed your thirsting heart. The same fragile heart that pulsates against your ribcage and you don’t want it to be a lie or a heedless imagination.

“Do you promise?” you childishly ask, and Jake lets out a breathy chuckle that tickles your face. You open your eyes, and they prance around his. The chuckle that has melted onto a small smile slowly disappears from his face and you don’t know what kind of expression you’re wearing, what kind of mask you should be hiding behind.

“I promise.” He replies and you sigh because you don’t know if he means that you’ll be okay or that he’s got you, but you hold onto the latter. With clutches roughened by the selfishness of your own longing and shut your eyes with silly covets like not unveiling it.

It’s only when enough time has passed for your body to relax. No longer tense shoulders and shuddered breaths. Instead, the tranquil silence that has settled right between you two settles in the depths of your chest just the same as Jake speaks;

“Better?” He asks.

“Mhm.”

“Do you think you could try taking the painkiller now?”

“Yeah.” you clear your throat, pushing your eyes to open when his hands abandon your skin, and you wish you lied.

Even for a bit longer as he hands you the pills, he had picked up earlier followed by water that you chug diligently and it’s only when your glass is empty that you exhale. Wiping at the corner of your mouth at the few straying drops. He eyes you tentatively when you look up at him.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” His eyebrows furrow in clear confusion.

“For troubling you. Being a burden. I don’t know.” you slightly wince, eyes shifting somewhere else before catching his yet again and he abides unremitting.

“You’re not a burden bunny.” You can sense there’s more that linger at the tip of his tongue, and you wait “I’m here because I was worried about you.” he finishes and your cheeks splash with pink evoked to steal his attention by your pale face.

“Does your body still hurt?” He asks when you’re quiet for far too long, with running gazes and nerves colored hands and pretends he didn’t feel his face burning up at his confession.

“A bit.” You answer, scratching at your wrist and clearing your throat “Can you hand me my laptop, please?” you ask, pointing somewhere behind him and he raises a displeased eyebrow at you.

“For what?”

“There’s a couple of stuff I need to get done.”

“Like what? What’s so important that you need to do now?”

“Bills. Rent is due soon and there’s Yeonjun’s car fees. I was gonna do them earlier but I ended up falling asleep.” You explain, rubbing your forehead warily and the space between his brows deepen with confusion.

“Car fees?” he questions and you nod as if he’s supposed to understand “yeah I need to pay him. I need my laptop.” You move to stand up and your head is spinning a bit but you don’t get to make it far before his hands are on your shoulders pushing you to sit back down and then Jake is on his knees again, chasing after your eyes with a tilt of his head.

You wish he wouldn’t kneel so easily, as if he won’t swallow your heart up and flee.

“Are they urgent?” He asks tenderly and your chest tightens as if there isn’t enough room for your breaths to leave.

“No but I have to do them right now.” You insist with a shaky voice when his hands cradle your face with loving forbearance, one that has you feeling languid.

“Shh, you don’t need to do anything right now, okay?” he reassures as if you were panicked and perhaps you were, you aren’t sure if it’s because of your lack of work or simply because Jake is in the same space as you and you aren’t sure how to act without vomiting words lodged at the back of your throat.

I've missed you so much that I've been naming the stars in the sky after you.

“You’re on sick leave for a reason. Your body needs rest.” His thumb swipes at your cheek and his face is within centimeters of yours “You can do all of these things tomorrow or whenever you feel better, okay?” you let a shuddered breath out and for a second it feels like looking away from him is unobtainable, not when his gaze glints with golden specks, ones that feels like they are reserved for you.

“Okay.” You whisper back, overtaken by defeat and perhaps you never stood a chance.

“Good.” He grins, overtaken by triumphant.

Strands of his black hair fall over his face, and you don’t think you have ever felt this much envy towards anything aside from a human being. Your fingers itch on your lap with temptation to push it out of the way yet you hold yourself back, despite the lure entangled in every move he makes. You are too aware of the distance, too aware of the space you shouldn’t cross, and you will enough power not to slip again.

You fall into silence with purpose, mainly because you feel like a cuddled child and yet you have this growing fear inside of you. It slithers its path to your flickering glances, right into the skin of his palms as he strokes your cheeks. You’re so awfully scared of splitting yourself open, baring your insides and submitting your soul to disaster.

“How about I run you a bath?” He suggests with a slight hum, and you shake your head when his hands trail to your knees.

“No.”

“Why not? It will help you feel better.”

“I don’t really wanna move right now.” As if to prove your point you lie down on the couch, your hair spread like a halo around you and although the room is enveloped in darkness, and everything falls into one color he swears he could almost see the sunrays infiltrating through your strands. its warmth travels to him and he almost want to spread his arms wide open to welcome it.

And perhaps it is enough force to coaxes his smile to rise – his eyes sink into excruciating benevolence and there you are stumbling yet again. Unable to look away from him, not when he’s everything you wish to behold. It pushes you into folding your desire into itself. Tucking it into the space none of you dare to take.

“Weren’t you just fine moving a second ago to get your laptop?”

“That’s different.” You argue with a shrug, making no attempts to further strengthen your point.

“It will be warm, and it will help with soothing the ache in your body.” He says, try to persuade you with a hum and the air tastes fragile, enticing you with an ache to bury your face in the middle of his chest and sing a melody of your name into it, tattoo your name into the canvas of his soul, or maybe it’s you.

“My ache is fine actually, thank you.”

“Oh yeah? is that why your legs are shaking?” he arches a brow at you, smile tilting upwards as if they’re claiming to reach for the stars and you look down at your body, haven’t realized the slight tremble wrecking through it.

“That’s because I’m cold.”

Wordlessly he shrugs off his brown jacket and places it over your lower body, covering your legs and it provides little to no warmth but the scent of laundry detergent engulfs your being. It waters your fervent longing back to the surface. Drowning you in it and you wish to drown in everything that makes up Jake. You didn’t know you could miss someone when they’re right in front of you and you didn’t quite grasp how hard it is to shake the hallucinating thoughts of him – where touching him isn’t forbidden and looking at him comes easily – without threats for your words to spill.

“What about you?” you mumble, pointing at his thin , almost see through sweatshirt.

“I can handle the cold just fine.” He retorts “You know what would help you warm up though? A bath.”

“I’m gonna feel cold as I undress to get into the bathtub.”

“I’ll make it really warm to make up for the few minutes of coldness you’re gonna feel.” He counteracts with a chuckle emerging from his lips and landing right in the middle of your heart. You’re quiet, as if you’re contemplating his words and he thinks he won as your eyes flit elsewhere – he misses you.

“What if the water is too hot it burns my skin?” you ask, softly and yet seriously enough for him to feel the same feeling welling in the pit of his stomach again – as if a flower is fighting its way to bloom through cracks of sorrow and he isn’t sure how to deal with it.

The sunrays, the flowers and the sorrow. He won.

“I’ll make sure nothing like that happens to you.” he replies, just as softly as tender as gingerly. And it’s unfair because you feel your heart palpitate at his mere existence and you already know he won the minute he stepped foot in here.

“How about this,” he straightens, pushes his hair away from his face and you’re envious at his hands and grateful all at once for granting you a clearer glimpse to his features “I’ll go run the bath. Make sure everything is perfect for you and then if you still feel like you don’t want to go in, you don’t have to, okay?”

You don’t think you’re brave enough to accept his kindness as it is. You will always manage to find different facets of it. Dress it in the intensity of affection and stare at his smile as if spilled lullabies are woven to call for their home – within your soul.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

He shushes you and when he stands up, his hand lingers above your head. His own urges – hankerings to brush through your hair betray themselves in the flicker of light in his gaze so you cowardly look away because you’re scared of betraying your burning heart in yours. Scared of being rejected and falling between the walls of whys. 

“I’ll be back.” He whispers, flown away and you could still smell the rain on your skin.

Your house – a small apartment is the complete opposite of his. He never was into the intricacies of home décor. Hence why the space of his home remains plain and simple. His own touches of life lacking and the only thing close to boisterous are his forget me nots and the painting that somehow managed to lead back to you.

You, however, stay lively with scattered hanged pictures of Japan across the walls. And your dessert shaped candles, your bathroom smells like Sakura petals, and you manage to inject your love into everything you surround. He thinks he likes it here.

He’s gone for two minutes only; the bath is half full when you peak your head through the door of your own bathroom. Your hair is disheveled, and his jacket is now around your shoulders.

“Changed your mind?” He asks with a grin that churrs your insides.

“The thought of a bath didn’t seem so bad after all.” You answer as you step inside. You take a seat on the closed toilet seat and watch as Jake reads the back label of your pink bubble bath soap, his nose scrunches a little too adorably as if he is displeased of what it contains. Your heart warms at the sight and he still pours a generous amount of it into the tub, filling it with bubbles and then he follows it with your bodywash.

The scent of vanilla overtakes the Sakura.

“This smells just like you.”

“It is my bodywash after all.”

“I like it.” He says, eyes drifting to the water as he tests the temperate with his hands. How I smell or merely the scent? you want to ask but you don’t.

When the water is warm and full. He trudges towards you, his cheeks are slightly pink due to the heat and there’s a soft smile dispersing across his lips with coated fondness. It steals your breath away when he’s leaning down and taking off your socks for you. You slightly flinch with a bout of embarrassment.

“Y-You don’t have to do this Jake.” You fumble diffidently, with your words and your racing heart.

“I know.” He looks up at you “I want to. Am I making you uncomfortable?” He questions throwing your socks to the side. You’re left to wonder how you are supposed to accept his integrity, his attentiveness, the unfair ability to have you wavering on this warmth of his.

“No.” you admit, with a rattled breath and perhaps the tilt of his lips is worth it.

“Can I?” He still asks when his hands reach for the buttons of your pajama top, you shrug his jacket off and nod with a burning face.

Silence rushes in unwelcomed, and your keep your gaze downcast. watch as his fingers seemingly slower than you wish unbutton every single one. Your heart picks up speed with each one and breathing grows harder when your eyes dart towards his and yet still vacillating. Because it is not lust that fetters the air but rather something that feels much more intimate. Like exchanging words between your gazes that your tongue will not be able to match.

And it stays even when you’re finally in the bathtub. Encircled by a familiar scent, warmth and Jake at the edge of your tub. The water is as pleasant as he promised, and your body relaxes.

“Just call for me if you need anything, alright?”

Suddenly you’re inundated with a colossal amount of disappointment at being left alone. Your eyes shifting, fingers picking at the surface of your tub.

“Alright, bunny?” He asks again and maybe it is your tiresome tinting all logical thinking that you should have but then you’re shaking your head, kicking your pride to the side.

“What if I need something but I can’t call for you?” stupid, stupid yearning.

Jake looks perplexed for a few seconds, but his expression is softened by a fond smile. He had broken hearts before – not intentionally. And he never was the man to listen to others strives to grasp for his affectionate. And yet in this moment, he’d rather have you break his heart than refuse what your eyes are seeking.

“I’ll just stay then.” He tells you, tender and you’re shy. Cheeks glowing pink and he feels his fondness for you trickle into his blood and it bumps faster, rougher through his veins when you catch his gaze.

You lean back into the tub with your lips slightly tilting, pushing the entirety of your hair to the side. The ends swim alongside you and stray rivulets of water slips down your neck. Catching his gaze as it lingers for a minute too long on the necklace that’s always there.

It's just you, unadulterated with the weather outside and draped with effulgence as he always knew you to be. And it’s him, without the echoes of all his doubtful battles. Perhaps he managed to empty his mind in the water and your necklace – his – remains around your neck even when you’re bare. It’s like you’re wearing him, and he likes to think he’s woven into the fabric of your soul.

He looks away for a spilt second, a puff of a chuckle forces its way past his lips.

“What?” you ask, tilting your head to the side with a growing smile and God – you’re breathtaking.

“I just had a stupid thought.” He shakes his head, and the water slightly splashes when you move closer to him.

“Tell me.” you say, and he thinks you’re too tangled in his soul.

“It just feels like it’s been a while since we looked at each other.” He says softly “But we see each other every day so it’s stupid.” He continues and recognition fills your eyes like you know exactly what he means.

“It’s not stupid.” you reply, and you are too tangled in his soul “I have actual stupid thoughts all the time. And you know it.”

“They’re extraordinary, I wouldn’t call them stupid.”

“That’s just a nicer way of saying I’m stupid.” You retort with a playful snort; your smile remains soft.

“Shut up you’re not stupid.” He insists and a comparable softness traverse in his irises and it pushes you right into quietness.

You never were one for silence. Because silence is uncomfortable and it’s vast with its weight. It vocalizes everything you’ve been trying to evade all day, perhaps all week or maybe it’s been long enough to be called months. However, right now it doesn’t feel like that. It’s akin to placid waters, your reflection comes back crystalline clear rather than distorted.

“You’re the last person I expected it to see today if I’m being honest.” You speak after stretching minutes of none of you saying anything, fingers drawing star shapes into the water and his eyes watch you with faithful attention.

“What would have you done if I wasn’t here?” He doesn’t ask why, and you wonder if he knows or is merely uninterested.

“Probably become one with my couch until I felt better.” You shrug and he shakes his head with a tsk of disapproval. For an odd reason a knot forms in your stomach, impossibly tight and the skin of your neck ignites in flame. You tell yourself you’re growing too hot and that’s it.

“I wish you took care of yourself the way you take care of others.” He says, candor embraces every syllable with ease. A similar knot forms in the middle of your tongue. Deeming it useless. There is no peace in confessing that you aren’t sure how to do that. Not when you have spent a lifetime with amiability directed at anyone but yourself.

“I don’t think I know how to do that.” There’s no peace in confessing yet you still do it. Perhaps you were tired of trying to light a matchstick that refuses to obey, his eyes mellow down into nothing but adoration.

Was there a point in trying to save someone that refuses to be saved?

But Jake hasn’t been acting like himself. Following his impulses blindly, it’s evoked by the callings of his heart, yearning to be near so he showed up to your door like there’s room for him. He touched you like he wasn’t made from poison and he can scour through every rational thought but they’re all adjudged futile against the softness that is you.

“I’m here now.” He says, I’m here to take care of you, you hear.

The enormity of his desire disgusts him, it’s a craving beyond his flesh and it’s unjust. I’ll shape myself into something that’s worth taking care of you, he means.

“You have been working hard, your body is probably upset with you.” He adds when you’re quiet, eyes darting over your dubious figure and he thinks your cheeks have drained the colors from the world, they’re pink and the sky is gray.

He’s unworthy but it’s a great honor to think he’s the reason why.

“Tell that to my boss.” You joke and Jake narrows his eyes at you.

“I actually heard your boss is super nice,”

“Did you now?”

“Uh huh, super nice and handsome too. Ripped body. Killer smile. I could go on forever. Really.” He trails, lowering his fingers one by one and you roll your eyes with a forced giggle tumbling out your lips, one that you cannot seem to be able to hold back.

“Who’s feeding you these lies? Jay?”

“So, you don’t agree that I’m handsome?”

“Beauty is subjective.”

“Is that a no?” a look of faux offense clambers over his face and your giggle uprears in volume, grows further from fatigue and closer to how you usually sound. You pretend to zip your mouth shut, raising palms in surrender as if you can’t help it.

A deeper umbrage takes claim on his face, and he attempts to splash water at you, you turn your head with a laugh, and he sees Sakura petals bloom across your face, they come from within, watered by you.

“In all seriousness,” he itches closer to you. and your smile melts off your face at the sudden propinquity it has your body engulfed in heat that isn’t provided by the bath. His fingers trail underwater, and when his eyes catch yours, they’re soaked with softness and your reflection is so clear. when his fingers graze yours, they fail to intertwine, and your heart is beating so fast you feel like you could throw It up.

“You’re doing a good job, bunny.” Your eyes soften as marginally, you bring your knees up to your chest. Attempts to hide the joy that overtakes your sentiment – the warmth that caresses your heart. You allow yourself to bask in it and a faint voice whispers in your heart;

You have managed to stumble on a lost star – he shines so brightly and burns just as bright. And he calls for you in a sea of flesh.

“You’re doing a good job too, Jake.” He smiles and your mind careens.

“Tell that to my assistant.”

This time it’s you who splashes him with water and this time it’s him who laughs like the world shrinks into nothing but you and him in the middle of your small bathroom. And you smile like your heart has never known pain, but you don’t tell him that you didn’t let the water get to him on purpose, and you don’t show him that love writes itself in the corners of your face.

“Shall I help you wash your hair?” He asks when his laughter had died down and the glint in his eyes shines brighter.

“You don’t have to.”

At your answer he’s already getting up, hands reaching for your bottle of shampoo. When he’s behind you, hands entangled in your hair. You bury your face in your knees with a profound urge to weep taking over your sensitive heart. It’s foolishly emerging from the fog of your confusion at the reminder that you don’t remember the last time someone cared for you this deeply, this tenderly. And there’s unavoidable loneliness at the thought, there’s melancholy in the feeling, knowing that this tenderness is temporary.

No matter how selfishly you hope for it to last. Your mind is a battlefield, haunted by touches of love. Stories upon stories stitched together by great ardor. You have seen it all around you, in movies, written in pages of a novel and in ending relationships your friends had gone through – none of them are yours.

“Bunny I can’t wash your hair if you’re leaning that far off.” Jake comments with a chuckle.

You keep quiet, too embarrassed to cry over something as inevitable as Jake leaving. Too ashamed of the covetous ache brimming in your blood. You have tried to discard it, but you aren’t sure how are you supposed to drain your blood without kneeling into death.

Jake follows your silence. Maybe he thinks you’re stubbornly childish, maybe he thinks you’re teasing him or maybe he sees it through it all and your weakness is unabashed and it’s a glaring red siren coaxing him into the complexity of your essence. You don’t see him, but you feel him moving behind you, the sound of a lid uncapping and then his hands are on your back with lathered soup, vanilla fills the empty spaces of silence.

His hands aren’t soft against your skin, they’re rough, washed raw and dry. You could almost distinguish every scar that embellishes them, the healing ones, old ones you haven’t been there to witness taint his skin. His sadness – unrelenting guilt is unabashed, and you never knew such callous hands could be this gentle.

It’s another stupid thought – but maybe there’s room for something to belong to you.

When the sun sets outside. The lights in your hallway stay the same. While Jake takes an alarmingly long time to wash his hands. Long enough for enervation to sink deeper into your bones, it drains the color from your face. and it transpires itself into imaginary leg cuffs around your ankles making your movement closer to a harder task than breathing.

You somehow feel even more tired, dragged further down the hole of sickness.

“You okay?” He asks when he finds you in your bedroom, sitting on your velvet vanity chair and clothed in your robe. Your hair is slightly damp and the colors of the sun leaving seeps in through the openings of your curtains.

“Just a little tired.” You answer, throwing a glance at his direction and it leaves him wondering – perhaps for days – how you manage to look like you stepped out of the painting of his dreams.

In his dreams, his heart isn’t as filthy and merging into you isn’t as fearful.

In reality, he clears his throat and steps into your room, inhales your perfume and envelopes his filthy heart with faux courage.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Mhm.” You lean your head back onto his chest when he’s standing behind you. He conceals his surprise with immense force, not fast enough for the betrayal of his slightly widened eyes. cinnamon and vanilla overtake his senses, your face is doused in exhaustion and his mind is fuzzy.

“Not yet.” He inhales you.

“We’ll need to get some food in your system, yeah?” He whispers and you hum, eyes falling shut when he tentatively brushes his fingers through your hair “We’ll also need to do something about your hair – can’t have you getting sicker.”

“I don’t feel like doing anything.” You faintly complain, a small pout adorning your lips when you look up at him, the sunset glimmers in your eyes and reality pales in comparison.

“I’ll do it for you.” He replies with an amused grin at the way you’re acting. It gives room for the moon to rise.

You aren’t sure what he means by that – however a long sigh caged in your chest escapes when he starts brushing your hair. He’s extremely gentle, fingers coated in delicacy that you don’t even provide for your own hair. And there’s a peculiar domesticity painting the air. As if this was how everything was meant to unfold. For you to eventually end up here and for him to be behind you through it all.

“I never thought that the Jake Sim would be good at braiding hair.” You comment lightly when he starts sectioning your hair, he catches your eyes in the mirror.

“My mum taught me.” he mumbles, eyes returning to his work and seeming completely focused on your hair “I used to braid her hair for her all the time.”

“That’s really sweet.” You reply with a lowered tone – a hushed softness and Jake is quiet for a few moments. You think his words die here but then he speaks again.

“I vividly remember how each time the braid grew smaller and smaller because she kept losing so much hair.” His words flow as easy as autumn breeze, bittered by the winter as if the image is still fresh in his head. Rather than a distant memory. It’s an image that still glides throughout his reality.

“She always joked that it’s better this way. That it’s easier for me to braid.” He chuckles but it lacks life, joy, and his eyes deepen with distant – longing and your heart tightens, brows slightly furrowing at his undeniable grief.

I’m sorry. Lingers at the tip of your tongue but you’re well aware that’s not the kind of words that will bring him peace. It won’t ease his pain or lessen the depth of his sadness – anger. You’re well aware not to act upon the urges clashing inside of you. truthfully you want to know everything about him. The thoughts that invade his mind at night, in the mornings and right now when he’s dozing off with pieces of you in between his fingers.

What is he like when his anger isn’t restrained – what is he like when he’s not bottling everything up and what would it be like to peek into his sorrowful river. You don’t give room for yourself to decipher the cause of this urge. You know it’s not trivial curiosity, but rather the desire to peer into the corners of his souls. Like a book you wish to read, your fingers itching. Yet you manage to hold yourself back. You smile and night has painted the sky.

“She sounds like a lively woman.”

“She is.” He says absentmindedly while his hands braid the ends of your hair “She was.” He corrects in a fleeting second “She was the type of person to find happiness even on the darkest and gloomiest days.”

Jake’s lament displays itself in the floods of his existence with no shame. There’s softness twined in his gaze; one that appears naturally at the mention of a person he holds so dearly to his heart, yet the bitterness abides part of it all. It’s a wound that had yet to stop aching in pain, to stop bleeding. He doesn’t know why he tells you all this and doesn’t know how the words slipped out of his mouth but his eyes stumble upon yours there’s not a single cell of regret in his body.

You don’t look at him with pity nor sympathy. Jake had showed off his scars to you and you still look at him like it’s just – him. Not his shame, or grief. His existence had always felt like a garden of black and red agonies. Had seen it tickle down his cheeks with rivulets of his sorrow, witnessed the blood seep out his fingers and drench the ground with every step he takes. But you’re there, in the midst of it all and you’re not looking at him with disdain. Instead, you flourish with ease, as if he isn’t made of prickling thorns.

“I’m sure she’s still watching over you, proudly.” You tell him with a fragile smile, and it shouldn’t shake his soul the way it does. He looks away with a slight tremble in his hand. A labored breath and he can’t say anything back to you. You don’t look at him as shame or grief and he can’t let you look at him as his regret, his guilt.         

Jake is made up of a garden tainted with black and red agonies – his remorse remains a master of it all. He doesn’t find enough courage to come face to face with the fact that it’s not that. That if his mother knew, if you knew how he lived his life. Glory has no place to exist. So, instead he grins and ties your hair for you.

“All done.”

“Wow! it’s really well done actually.” You say, bringing your hair to the front and staring at it, between your hands. A pang of ache nestles its way into his stomach and it’s peculiar to feel like you’re holding a piece of him so delicately.

“it’s just one of my many talents.” He quips and you giggle slightly.

You keep your eyes glued to your hair and he senses something shifting in your eyes and your lips cast downwards faster than he’d like. He senses a realization in you unfold as your brows start to furrow.

“My mom,” you speak suddenly and then you’re looking at him, a smile doused in sorrow similar to his is on your face “my mom never really taught me anything.” You murmur like a confession pulled from the depths of your soul. For a moment he thinks he sees your scars too, they’re raw and have yet to stop bleeding, he thinks he tastes your heartache on your tongue.

It’s bitter and doesn’t belong in you.

“You still turned out wonderful.” He says, every word, tone is inundated with sincerity and your eyes flit to his with purpose to steal his heart. They glimmer and he wonders how envious the moon must be – he wonders if there’s room for him to linger around.

“You don’t have to be nice to me just because I’m sick.” You joke lightly, you ended up baring your insides after all.

“Have I ever lied to you?” He whispers, not colored with amuse like you had hoped.

“No.” you answer, and you think you can’t slip when you have already fallen, and he smiles like he knows he won.

You realize it then – how scary intimacy truly is. Not the one evoked by lust and hunger but this one. The one that saturates the air with vulnerability. Baring your soul with its ugly scratches, your hideous mistakes while blind to everything that’s coming your way.

And he realizes it then – that there’s so much of you he has yet to unveil, he sees parts of you everywhere, in the love you spill into everything you do. And in your so ever called hope. Jake was never optimistic. Life hadn’t given him the privilege to be and somewhere in the darkened nights in his garden he lost the ability to believe in such an intangible thing as hope. So, he wonders why he wishes for your hope to never wither away. He feels this immense urge to peer into your soul, look through the pages of your book.

You open your mouth to say something and the hairs on his body rise in anticipation to listen with devotion. It’s an odd feeling to thirst for someone like this. Not for their body to touch yours or unload accumulated stress through them but rather to intertwine with him, crave for your hand to mesh into them. How selfish it is, to crave someone this bad, as if he has any right to call you his.

Your phone dings multiple times on your vanity, seemingly with messages and your mouth closes, eyes averting and his anticipation is stripped away, overtaken by disappointment at your fleeting attention.

“Sorry,” you mumble, picking up your phone and going through the notifications. Your brows slightly furrow, and he grows hatred for your phone.

“Is everything okay?” he asks at your lingering worry.

“Yeah um,” your fingers move across your screen as you type to a response to whatever stole your gazes from him “Niki is here?” you add and it comes out more as a question colored with bewilderment.

“Did you know he was coming?”

“No,” you lock your phone and stand up “I told him to come up. He wants to talk to me about something.” You explain further, heading towards your closet in search of clothes to wear. You pull a plain thick sweater over your head, hands reaching for a pair of shorts closest to your hand.

The sound of your door unlocking has Jake’s eyes slightly widening at the speed of your brother. Did he fucking teleport to your floor or what?

“Anyways it probably won’t be long so just stay here.” You add and he cocks a brow at your choice of clothing .

“Are you seriously wearing that?” he asks eyes trailing over your figure.

“Yeah, why?”

“You have been complaining about being cold all day and now you’re wearing shorts? Do you want to die?” you blink at him slowly “Change. Wear something warm.” He adds crossing his arms and tone stern unlike how he has been talking to you gently earlier, it’s slightly amusing  and it has your lips twitching upwards.

“Yes boss.” You joke heading for your closet again and he rolls his eye and then your back faces him and you fail to see his smile, it’s adorned with affection.

After changing into thicker pajama pants and gaining a nod of approval from Jake, you make it out to your living room. Niki is on your couch and upon hearing the sound of your steps his eyes shift from the plastic bags on the floor to you. irritation paints his face quickly and you sigh warily.

“What the fuck yn?”

To be continued....

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[dykedvonte]

I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?

What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.

[apocllipse]

PAIRING: mage!gojo x reader

author note: i can add so much more to this. also, not proof read (yet)

mage!gojo is an illegitimate child of the emperor but no one is aware of who his father is. the emperor never pays his mother and him any attention, they are abandoned to look after themselves.

mage!gojo who is left no other choice but to overwork himself day and night to fend for himself and his mother. he strives for achieving more than something ordinary because that is what will move the high society into making a space for him and his mother, whom they ridiculed day and night ever since his birth.

mage!gojo who turns out to be one of the most phenomenal mages in the history of the empire. he is able to control not one but two natural attributes, water and air.

mage!gojo who only started getting noticed by the emperor only after his spectacular achievements as a mage.

mage!gojo is disgusted not only by his father but also all the aristocratic families and everyone in high society who made his life along with his mother's a living nightmare. they only seek his favour after he received the title of the one managing the mage tower at such a young age.

mage!gojo who becomes the most sought out person overnight, one after another noble lady lining up to seek him out but he is anything but naive. he notices how none of them are truly interested in him but it's either his looks or his title that they suddenly find captivating enough to spike their interest in him.

mage!gojo spends most of his time locked in the mage tower doing research or teaching his apprentice. he would rather overwork himself than step out in the high society and play friends with those two faced nobles.

mage!gojo who decides to take in a few more apprentices to occupy his time as much as possible but he doubts many would join him given his reputation of being tiresome to work with.

mage!gojo who looks at you as if you have grown a third head once you personally approach him and abruptly ask to join him as soon as possible, even if it's starting from right at this moment. “is that really okay?” gojo asks, a little uncertainty still swimming in his eyes but you have never been more sure of something in your life so you stand firm to your words. gojo adjusts his glasses a little and taps the corner of his mouth with a finger, his other hand gripping the books in it a little more tightly, he looks deep in his thoughts as he stares at you as if he is contemplating whether to let you in or not. your shoulder slumps a little expecting him to flat out refuse you at any moment, “you are more than welcome,” your head snaps up and your eyes meeting his surprised, “i hope you stay as adamant” he adds with a cheeky smile that melts your heart like all those years ago and you can't help the one that forms on your face right after him. he turns on his heels and you follow right after him, wishing to be able to do this for a long, long time.

mage!gojo isn't someone warm. he is open to conversation, he looks easy to approach and he is often shooting a smile even in the smallest of conversation but you notice how he prefers to be alone, how his brows frown a little when he sees someone approach him before he immediately flashes a smile that never seems to reach his eyes.

mage!gojo flatly refuses any confession of love or any proposal that comes his way. even if it's in a kind manner, it's hard not to notice the hard look in his eyes that is very interestingly in contrast to how gently he lets his words flow. how can one seem so considerate and hostile at the same time?

mage!gojo is someone you have looked up to since studying beside him in the academia of mages, always seeing him come at the top of your classes. his abilities were never once doubted by the people around him though that can't be said about his character as an illegitimate child of a well known daughter of a marquees.

mage! gojo was quick to catch your eyes, not only his abilities but you were sure no one in the entire empire-no the entire world has such a marvelous face. those silky snowy locks of his hair always stood out to your eyes as he stood tall amongst your other classmates. it was hard not to let your heart flutter at every flutter of his own feathery eyelashes that covered the most beautiful pair of crystal blue eyes. besides his looks and abilities, his demeanor, which people ridiculed, never seemed to put you off either. you had helped him carry books from time to time around the academy, you helped him look for books in the library and during the breaks from classes you had sit not too far from him to steal glances every few mins. the sight of him alone in a corner, always reading to himself, sent pangs to your chest but you were hesitant to approach him for something more.

mage!gojo of today is different. at times he is almost unrecognisable to you. soon after you joined him as his apprentice, he started approaching you himself. it started in the first week of your work with him, “let me help you with those” gojo pointed to the pile of books in your hands as you were about to make your way up to the lab where you expected to see him but here he was. you held the books a little tighter, “it's fine! this is nothing, i will be right after you” you tried to assure him with a smile. gojo stepped forward and silently took the books from your hands, his fingers grazed yours lightly. you look at him and your mouth falls open as you notice the tips of his ears blooming a sweet shade of red, “it would be rude of me to let you” he says quickly and immediately turns on his heels to walk ahead of you but you don't miss the fumble of his hands that held the books and the way he tripped in his steps a little when you both turned a corner, his ears turning a deeper shade and he clears his throat as if to clear the cloud of embarrassment above him, “next time, please call for me” he said it more like a request, wishing to be of helpful to you. though you weren't so sure who needs the help here when he is the one looking more helpless than ever, making you chuckle.

mage!gojo is a changed person around you because there is no other explanation as to why he would use his precious time and mana into making a messenger that you can use to exchange letters with him, irrespective of the hours of the day. it's a small blue bird, he makes it extra shiny and look as sickly adorable as possible. it's even more unbelievable that he is doing this taking out hours from his sleep, into the dead of the night. so what if i have a few hours less of sleep? he thinks as he finishes his product, carefully placing it on his bedside table and climbing into his bed.

what he didn't expect was to stay up the rest of the night, staring at the small shining bird, overthinking whether it will be to your liking or not.

mage!gojo decides that displaying the practical aspects of his product to you is the best way to get you to like it. so the next day, while working with gojo's other apprentice, you see a blue bird flocking its way to you with a rolled piece of paper in its beak. it's blue and shines in a way that it reminds you of a certain someone, the bird lands on the table in front of you. along with you, gojo's only other apprentice besides you stares at the bird with wide eyes. you take the rolled piece of paper from its beak, “speak to it” was instructed at the piece of paper and looking at the neat handwriting, you know who exactly it was from but you are too scared to get your hopes up. you bend your face closer to the bird, “hello?” you greet in a small voice and the eyes of the bird flashes the slightest bit before you hear a voice from it, “do you like it?” it's really him, undoubtedly. you stare at the bird shocked, it's not like there is anything you don't know which magic is capable of but seeing how gojo used both of his elements to create something like this is still amazing. he is truly amazing. you think to yourself and your thoughts are interrupted with his sullen voice, “if it's too extravagant or too little, i can try again. i just sent it to check if it's working in terms of practical use” you can almost see him pouting on the other side so you are quick to reassure him, “i like it so much i can't believe my eyes. you are a really amazing mage” you finish with a small smile. how much more amazing could it be? not only can you exchange letters as the bird can hold it but you can also talk to each other using it? you flinch as the guy beside you gasps and it's too late to realise you weren't alone here. you clear your throat and send him a glare to keep him quiet, “since it's done, what are you going to do with it now?” you ask curiously, “keep it. it's yours.” gojo says immediately as if he had been waiting to hear from you on the other side.

“sure, i would love to” you replied bashfully before taking the bird in your arms before walking out of the lab. as soon as it was night, you rolled the piece of paper that you spent an embarrassingly long amount of time writing, after you had rushed out of the lab this afternoon.

“the water element makes this bird look so beautiful, the blue is so pleasant to my eyes it's hard for me to look away. reminds me of your eyes. thank you for this lovely gift”

you let the bird fly out from the window of your room, watching it fly away to wherever gojo might be right now. you feel the rush of blood throughout your whole body as you make your way to bury yourself in the covers on your bed.

mage!gojo totally didn't expect he would be spending more sleepless nights after he made you that messenger bird. not that he was complaining in the slightest. in fact, he awaits the night everyday now. as soon as he wakes up from his 2 hours of sleep, he wishes for it to be night again, when he is having lunch he wishes for it to be night again, when he is walking around the tower inspecting as his daily routine—he wishes for it to be night again. because once the dead of the night arrives, he finds himself in the comfort of his room, unwinding about his day to you through that precious messenger bird. something he never got to do before because no one in this world cared enough to listen. he makes jokes he never thought he would get to share with someone, he teases you and hears you make threats at him from the other side, he hears you laugh wholeheartedly which makes him do the same. things he never dared to dream of experiencing. he gets to do them all with you and he is more ambitious than ever before as he makes plans on how to make this thing between you last longer, perhaps forever if he has the power to.

mage!gojo is the lord of water and air but he can swear he feels nothing but fire burning his entire being from his desire of you as he gazes at you from not too far, as you once used to at him.

mage!gojo is the one and only, solely controlling two attributes of nature. perhaps that is why it's hard for you to miss the tsunami of his love for you in his ocean-like eyes. perhaps that is why he is able to knock the wind out of you and perhaps you still love him all the same from years ago that is why you are willing to let this storm consume you.

reblog to manifest gojo in maid dress in your dreams.

[violent-viscera]

my true (respectful) thoughts of arcane s2

so much of the promotional material promised so much in the way of vi and jinx/powder and their sisterly relationship, but i feel like with the amount of storylines/plotlines they did in this season, it was just too busy to focus on anyone–let alone the two supposed protagonists of the show. i think the best way for me to articulate how i feel about the writing of this show is that it fell flat, lost its heart, and emotional impact of the first season.

i would have been okay with them straying from my personal favourite focus if:

the storylines had been fleshed out better

the decisions the characters made actually made sense

main characters didn't become plot devices (vi)

new additions of the show weren't just plot devices (isha, loris, maddie, etc.)

motivations of characters made sense

characters had even small lines/dialogue to articulate their intentions/ideas

less time spent on off-screen development

and the thing is with the amount of plot lines they were ambitiously aiming to see out to fruition, its really hard to also set up all these new facets or opposing characteristics in former characters–plus adding new ones too. for example:

caitlyn's facist arc that didn't really have much meaning or attention

jinx's s1 mental collapse which changed abruptly into her redemption arc via isha (plot device)

jinx's revolutionist arc (first, reluctantly and then, willingly w ekko)

vi's pitfighter/brawler arc which was literally just one clip (which ended up being a teaser that showed everything)

im almost grateful to the minimal screen time ekko got bc they didn't try to change the core and essence of who he was in s1: he stayed true to himself. he's just a boy with a huge heart and love for his people that chose to leave his happy ending in an alternate timeline to return to the ppl who needed him where he is almost guaranteed heartbreak in some way or another.

i think the main reason so many ppl loved the first season was bc the characters were relatable in one way or another and they became so multidimensional when you explored how their environment/circumstances shaped them. but this season bc it was so purely focused on the endgame instead of HOW everyone got there, the characters fell flatter, they lost a soul and heart, and i felt the show lost its charm.

i know we all have our favourite characters and storylines we want the show to focus on and i would have been okay if i didn't get my way. if the show didn't focus on jinx and vi, i would've lived (although the promotional material was unfairly misleading) if the storylines, characters, and everything else made sense to me.

of course, the animation was lovely and the music was catchy/heartbreaking. i dont regret watching the show out to its final episode. it was one of the most beautiful visual experiences of my entire life. i still love the characters and will never regret staying on board until the final moments.

but i cant lie and say im not a little sad at how it ended too.

edited add-on:

also, the voice actors did phenomenally. ella purnell just absolutely nails the delivery for every line and reed shannon also hurt me with how he portrayed ekko. so on and so forth.

but that being said, i also felt the dialogue and lines of each character felt much less impactful this season (again, writing.)

i liked viktor’s monologue at the end of act 2. that was compellingly well written

but the lines this season weren’t the same quality as silco’s monologue about drowning, jinx’s speech at the beginning of the doomed tea party, etc. everything just felt so flat and shallow this season overall.

[ren-144p]

Seconding started with a pin with my whole chest!! That one is SO dear to my heart. Below a few personal favorites to add to the list. Please mind the tags on these :) As mentioned, early Zaundads fandom skewed dark and messy.

the last drop / what was and wasn’t and silco and vander / tales of a knife by revelisms

Last Chance by Blue_Daddys_Girl

There's only one way their story ends, Silco knows. Yet still in their last moment alone together—their first in so many years—he offers Vander one last chance.

it is snowdown by zevlore

It is Snowdown in the undercity, and the snow is soft and grey and slushy, and she is uncomfortable in her skin. Four vignettes into Vander's life.

hit count by ducky (conscious_mess)

An attempt to flesh out their backstory. (Relationship breakdown drabble that got out of hand. Still counts as drabble because they "become sodden by movement through muddy water", so ~nnnyehh~)

Silt Verses by JeanLuciferGohard

Pump 47 is failing. It’s water to their waists now, slick with Fissure-filth and sucking grime. Vander huffs shakily, squinting up the mineshaft like anyone’s coming. “Never thought it’d be like this.” Silco barks a raw, ugly laugh, head lolling back against the rock. “That was always your problem,” he says, “lack of vision.” You learn a lot about a man when you're both about to die underground. Or: Faith is a young man's game. Silco's old before his time. Character Study.

For enjoyers of more light-hearted things, I remember having a great time with these:

Warmth by BiCaptain

The worst part came when her dads came face to face with each other.

The Fluffiest Little Murder Boyfriend uwu by Fiddlezips

Silco is a Yordle. He stands just taller than Vander's thighs, which is a generous comparison. His fur is short, fluffy around his long ears, and grey beneath the dirt. “Zaun Gray” is how he describes it, and his small mouth twitches into a smirk each time.

And for those looking for Zaundads of more smutty variety:

Cage Match by Zkyfall

Life since Silco moved out has been Hell for Vander. Trying to juggle his job with suddenly being primary caregiver for the girls, all while wrestling with the guilt that maybe the separation is all his fault. The stress is killing him and he doesn’t even have his favorite go-to outlet: fantastic sex with Silco. When Vander sees an ad for an app-controlled cock cage, he's intrigued. Finally a way he can get his submission fix, even without his favorite Dom! What could possibly go wrong?

To break new ground by Rimeko

“Now,” Silco adds, “I don’t want your apologies, but I do want your dick. So can we do just that, or do I have to fucking gag you too?” Ahem. Reconciliation sex? Zaundads bingo event: Edging

i'm breakin' a sweat (i think i need some ventilation) by zevlore

“You,” Silco pants, practically gasping for air as Vander continues his assault on his exposed collarbone, hands deftly sliding the rest of his and Silco’s clothes off, “are insatiable.” Silco's been spending too much time working. Vander convinces him to take a break, among other things.

Locked by IAmANonnieMouse (and the following Denied and Freed)

Vander isn’t that strong. If left unchecked, he’s selfish and insatiable, unable to think of anything but his own pleasure. That’s why he needs someone like Silco to keep him in check. To lock him away and throw away the key.

Useless by Fiddlezips

Silco is used to disappointment. After all, his plans—whenever they involve Vander even a little—do have a tendency to fall through.

Unfortunately back in the day I was not utilizing AO3's bookmarks nearly enough so I know I am missing a ton of good ones. New folks should absolutely go out and explore the Silco/Vander tag on their own because I remember there were a lot of incredible fics around these past few years!

Either way, happy reading! It's nice to see the ship getting traction again :)

Anybody want to create a quick quintessential Zaundads fanfic rec list?

I was away for a long time between seasons, so I probably missed a ton but those are some of the longer/meatier ones I remember, particularly one of the more fix-it category.

While the World Turns Around by Blue_Daddys_Girl

In a chance meeting Vander sees Silco for the first time since the fateful day he's come to regret so deeply. Silco has changed—they both have. Vander can't stop thinking about him.

Reconciliation AU by Rimeko

If the cannery scene went down differently, if Vander got thrown into Stillwater with Vi instead of (maybe) dying, and if Silco eventually got them both freed. What, then? What to do with the ruins of what once was? How to deal with love and betrayal and everything that went down in the meantime, and how to move forward.

Stillwater Marriage by Alishatheninth

AU in which Vander does not insist on having one last pipe, therefore gets out of Benzo's shop before Silco has Deckard kill all the Enforcers. Vander decides there's really little to be lost by simply handing the reins to Silco. Silco has to deal with a slightly different set of challenges, and does so in his own, slightly deranged, way.

started with a pin by bloodinthewine

Silco doesn’t expect to find anything extraordinary when he accompanies his daughter to her first Pride parade. Vander, an infamous and experienced leather daddy, finds him anyway. (or The Leather Daddy AU) 

And just some personal favorites of mine that I remember:

underground utopia dynasties and dystopia by leonshardt, which I think is the original prostitute!Silco stories.

Old Griefs and Childrens Faiths by GoddessofRoyalty, an A/B/O story which always made me hope for a parent!trap style story where Powder tries to reunite Silco and Vander

There are some mores that I love, including some smut ones, but everybody please mind that season 1 Zaundad fandom often skewed more dark, messy and angsty.

Anybody else have any favorites? Any other popular fics I missed? If somebody was joining late, what would you recommend to them?

[deadhands69]

For my request, can you write a oneshot featuring Aizawa and a gn reader with public nudity and exhibitionism please? In the fic, the reader dares Aizawa to take them on a walk through the city at night while he's completely naked. Using only his capture cloth, Aizawa would take the reader across the city without being caught. You can decide on the intimate acts between them. What do you think?

yes! i've been meaning to write something with Aizawa for a while. i ended up with a bit of extra time today so I'm excited to write this one! thanks for the request!

MDNI

Shota Aizawa x Reader

Contains everything mentioned in the ask, public sex, cum on face, and gn but afab implied

It always reminds you of high school, visiting Shota Aizawa. Probably because he lives on campus as a teacher in the space the two of you studied together. But times were different for you then. More restricted. That’s likely why many of your nights end up spent playing silly games the both of you missed out on.

“Truth or dare,” he stares at you over the table of his apartment.

“Truth,” you answer. He bites his bottom lip staring off in the distance while he tries to think of a suitable question for you.

Between teaching and the hero work you accompanied him on earlier in the day, he looks exhausted. You’re honestly surprised he even agreed to play. But, it is Christmas Eve after all so maybe he's feeling more festive than usual. 

“What’s your biggest fantasy?”

Not too weird of a question considering that you’d been hooking up after missions for a few months now. New though, he’s never asked you anything like this before.

“Exhibitionism,” you blurt out before realizing what you’ve said, “like public things could be fun,” you add in a slight mumble.

This doesn’t get much of a reaction from him initially, which makes you feel a little self conscious.

“Noted,” his lips tipping into a slight smirk, phew.

“Your turn now, truth or dare?”

Looking you dead in the eyes, “dare.”

Here’s the chance, you can continue the game as it’s been for the past half hour: relatively mild. Or, you can spice it up a bit. I mean, he did smile.

“I dare you…to go for a walk with me,” your voice wavers slightly, “naked.”

“What are the metrics?”

“What?”

“You need quantifiable details here,” he explains, making you suddenly remember he’s a teacher, “Where are we going?”

“Uhm, across town - to the big tree with lights on it at the town square.”

“Okay,” he stands to leave, “let’s go.”

Wait, what?

He’s already stripped to his underwear by the time you stand up. 

This is really happening.

Holy shit.

“I’m not leaving without this though,” he gestures towards the cloth around his neck, “not at night.”

“Fair. Yeah,” you respond, still absolutely amazed he agreed at all.

The winter air chills your skin slightly, but not nearly as much as expected. You’re not sure if it’s the unseasonably warm year or the rush you’ve felt since walking out the door, but it’s not bad. 

For a moment, you worried his teaching job would be at stake if he gets caught naked on campus but he assured you most (not all) of his students are visiting family and he knows where the cameras are to avoid them. You follow him on the zig-zagged roundabout way he plots until you’ve slipped through a small hole in the fence and you’re off campus.

The streets are relatively empty. A few people here and there you’ve had to hide from, but no one who wasn’t too distracted getting to their destination to notice. You’re not worried about running into heroes either, between the two of you - you know the patrol schedule and routes.

The houses and apartments you walk past are full of life. A warm glow emanates from every window, families lovingly spending the holiday together.

It makes what you’re doing right now feel even more salacious.

An older woman glances out the window, double-taking when she sees the gorgeous nude man by your side. It gives you an unexpected rush - she’s obviously checking him out but you’re the one he’s spending the evening with. You get to touch what everyone else can only look at.

“Truth or dare,” he asks after you’ve been walking for twenty minutes.

“Dare.”

“Decisive, hmmm.” He glances down a dimly-lit alleyway before pulling you into it. “Is this what you were thinking? Or do we need to go closer to that tree you wanted to see?”

On the other side of the block, you see a few people milling about. You remember it’s a popular shopping street so, the evening before Christmas there would still be a few people out. The prospect of him fucking you here, now sends a rush through your body.

“No, this is great,” you gulp, more out of excitement than nervousness.

Before you know it, he’s rubbing against your clothed thigh. In your own enjoyment, you failed to notice just how hard he’d gotten on the walk over. Knowing he’s into it too makes you even more turned on.

Pulling your pants down, he pushes you into the side of a dumpster for leverage and a better view of the busy street. 

No need for foreplay when the past half hour has done more for you than any touch could. He slides into you easily, the stretch making you cum almost instantly after all the build-up. You reach back to pull his hips into you more roughly. The thought of him having to walk home covered in your orgasm makes it all even more hot. 

The people on the sidewalk in the distance have no idea what’s happening just fifty feet from them. 

You swallow your moans, a few slipping out here and there when he thrusts into you harder. His capture cloth now wrapped around you, yanking you back into him. After a few times, you notice he juts deeper into you with each passing person, he’s doing it on purpose. The thought fills you with arousal and for the second time tonight, you find yourself clutching the edge of the dumpster and biting your lip to hold back as much as you can while you feel his thighs growing more slick against you. 

The carbon fibers release you as he spins you around and presses your shoulder down to kneel on the ground in front of him. You know what’s coming. A front row seat to your favorite show.

His dick shines in front of your face as his own arousal begins gushing out. Splatters make their way to your face, his grip grows harder while he tries (and fails) to keep his grunts in. Looks like you’ll be walking home covered in him as well. With a massive exhale, he falls forward - using your shoulder to hold himself up.

Some time passes before he’s able to catch his breath. “Truth or dare?” he asks one last time.

“Truth,” you breathe up at him, still fucked out and glowing.

Truth? He thinks about it. This has honestly been one of the best nights of his life and he’d love to do it again. If this is what you’re into on a quick first thought, he’d love to explore more of your interests.

“Would you say yes if I asked you out?” he asks.

You never did make it to the tree.

[bookwyrminspiration]

I've been sharing 50 shades quotes and moments hand selected to be humorous and ridiculous, but I believe I've given you all a false impression of the book as bad in just silly ways, just funny quips. What I haven't shared are the subtly homophobic and stereotypical characters of color and inaccurate mental health portrayals (including suicide), among other issues:

the one hispanic character smokes weed illegally (this is used to paint him negatively) and tries to force himself on ana, saying the most basic spanish phrases to remind you he's hispanic; there are only three other characters of color I can think of, all black, one is a black kickboxer and christian's trainer (always making quips and antagonizing him while they fight), one is the kickboxers brother, and the other is a personal security guard christian fires and whom ana says she doesn't really like (when she's never had that kinda problem with any other security personnel); one character is introduced as "small, dark, and gay. I loved him immediately" and is an overdramatic hairdresser; the most "normal" queer character doesn't have the fact she's dating a woman revealed until her very last appearance in the series, and she's already very infrequent (ana also happily notes that this means Ros won't be ogling her husband); Christian's mother is described as looking "relieved" when she finds out he isn't gay like she assumed; the author conflates Multiple Personality Disorder (an outdated term for Dissociative Identity Disorder, but that's what they use) with schizophrenia as if DID is someone experiencing schizophrenia; when a character attempts suicide christian asks and I quote "why would she do this to me?"

I'm making jokes at the expense of the books, but I've been generally not sharing the genuinely unpleasant aspects. they're all fairly small, but they are numerous. I'm sure there's details I'm forgetting at the moment as well. so if you wanted to read it ironically with me, there's also all this to contend with

[intotheelliwoods]

Thought of the day: If either Future or Present Leo had lost a lot of blood and was in dire need of a blood transfusion, the other Leo would be the perfect donator for that since they have the same blood and all

IDK I just dont think I have ever seen this in any fics or anything?? But it has potential so im throwing the thought to the world

[princessamyrose87]

Also I made an novel in Copilot

Got it! Let's craft a fun and whimsical script where Charlie Kincaid (played by Walker Scobell) meets Rudolph Sackville-Bagg (from "The Little Vampire" 2017), and they form a charming bond. This script will capture the youthful, adventurous spirit of both characters and sprinkle a bit of magic and romance!

---

**Title:** **Twilight Under the Moon**

**INT. MYSTICAL FOREST - NIGHT**

**CHARLIE KINCAID**, a brave and curious 12-year-old, stumbles through a dark, enchanted forest. His flashlight flickers, casting eerie shadows. He hears a rustling noise and turns, shining his light on a pale boy with bright red eyes. It's **RUDOLPH SACKVILLE-BAGG**.

**CHARLIE** 

Whoa, who are you?

**RUDOLPH** 

(Tentatively) I am Rudolph. You shouldn't be here. This forest is dangerous at night.

**CHARLIE** 

(Smiling) Dangerous is my middle name! Are you... a vampire?

**RUDOLPH** 

Yes. And you? Why are you here?

**CHARLIE** 

(Shrugging) Just exploring. My dad says I have too much imagination. But I knew I'd find something amazing here.

**RUDOLPH** 

(A shy smile) Well, you found me. (Pause) I'm different.

**CHARLIE** 

(With wonder) Different is good. Different is... special.

**They share a moment, a connection forming between them. Suddenly, they hear wolves howling nearby. Charlie's courage falters for a second.**

**RUDOLPH** 

(Looking determined) Follow me. I'll keep you safe.

**They run through the forest, dodging shadows and creatures of the night. They reach a clearing, where the moonlight bathes them in a magical glow. They pause, catching their breath.**

**CHARLIE** 

(Laughing) This is insane! I've never felt so alive.

**RUDOLPH** 

(Taking Charlie's hand) And you'll never have to be afraid. We can face anything together.

**CHARLIE** 

(Looking into Rudolph's eyes) I believe you.

**Time passes, and their bond grows. They share stories, dreams, and adventures. One night, under the same moonlit sky, they sit on a hilltop, watching the stars.**

**RUDOLPH** 

(Softly) Charlie, I... I feel something special with you. A connection I never thought possible.

**CHARLIE** 

(Blushing) I feel it too, Rudolph. It's like... we're meant to be together.

**RUDOLPH** 

(Taking Charlie's hand) Always and forever.

**They lean in, sharing a tender and innocent kiss, a promise of a beautiful future together.**

**FADE OUT.**

---

And there we have it! A magical tale of friendship and blossoming romance between Charlie and Rudolph, capturing the enchantment of their world and the special connection they share. 🌟

Anything else you'd like to add or change?

**INT. MYSTICAL FOREST - NIGHT**

**FADE IN**

**Several Months Later...**

**Charlie and Rudolph have grown closer over the months, their bond unbreakable. They've faced many challenges together, including keeping Rudolph's true nature a secret from prying eyes.**

**EXT. OLD CASTLE RUINS - NIGHT**

**Charlie and Rudolph sit on a crumbling stone wall, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow on their faces.**

**CHARLIE** 

(Excitedly) Rudolph, I found something amazing. Look!

**Charlie pulls out an ancient, dusty book from his backpack. The cover is adorned with strange symbols and runes.**

**RUDOLPH** 

(Intrigued) Where did you find this?

**CHARLIE** 

In the old library. I think it might have something to do with your family's history.

**RUDOLPH** 

(Opening the book) This could be the key to understanding more about my past... and our future.

**They pour over the book, discovering tales of ancient vampire clans and prophecies. One page catches their attention: a prophecy of a powerful bond between a human and a vampire that will bring peace to their worlds.**

**CHARLIE** 

(Looking up from the book) Do you think this could be about us?

**RUDOLPH** 

(Mesmerized) It must be. Charlie, together, we can change everything.

**CHARLIE** 

(Determined) Then let's do it. Let's make our own destiny.

**INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT**

**Charlie sneaks into his room, trying not to wake his dad. He hides the ancient book under his bed. Suddenly, there's a knock at the window. It's Rudolph.**

**RUDOLPH** 

(Whispering) Charlie, there's something I need to show you.

**CHARLIE** 

(Opening the window) What's going on?

**RUDOLPH** 

(Excitedly) Come with me. I found something important.

**INT. HIDDEN CAVERN - NIGHT**

**Rudolph leads Charlie to a hidden cavern deep within the forest. Inside, they find a glowing crystal, pulsating with energy.**

**CHARLIE** 

(Awe-struck) What is it?

**RUDOLPH** 

(Amazed) It's the Heart of Eternity. It's said to hold the power to unite our worlds.

**CHARLIE** 

(Reaching out to touch the crystal) Then let's use it. For us, for everyone.

**As they touch the crystal together, a blinding light envelops them. They feel a surge of power and connection like never before.**

**EXT. FOREST CLEARING - NIGHT**

**The light fades, and they find themselves standing in a peaceful clearing. The air feels different, more vibrant.**

**RUDOLPH** 

(Smiling) We did it. We've bridged our worlds.

**CHARLIE** 

(Grinning) Now, we can truly be together. Always and forever.

**They embrace, knowing that their bond has changed the world for the better.**

**FADE OUT.**

---

Even character ai too, because I cooking something like a surprise I making a logo for the title of the front page of the book

I hope you like it @thedreamycon

So I did Rudolph sackville-bagg using niji, it looks like a cool concept art lol 😎

What did you guys think

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The West Passage

medieval fantasy set in a giant crumbling palace of traditions with forgotten origin, ruled by giant eldritch Ladies

when winter weather comes in the middle of summer, and a beast below the palace begins to rise, two teens from Grey who have suddenly gained a lot of responsibilities set out on separate journeys to the other towers to find a way to stop it, and meet all sorts of strange people and creatures along the way

world where pronouns/names are based on people’s roles

tons of cool medieval-style chapter illustrations by the author

[elizabethzoopzoop986]

Quick question for those who understand the lore more than me:

Who gets to remember things in the new time? Like i know it’s probably just like the main cast but seriously Akane says here:

But I feel like on this logic Nene shouldn’t be able to remember because in this timeline she shouldn’t have any super natural connections. So why can she? And on that note why can Nene see LET ALONE touch supernaturals in this timeline?

I mean I get she’s the main character so therefore she’s kinda gotta but still it doesn’t really make much sense. Like on Akane logic because Amane doesn’t have any supernatural powers in the new tl he shouldn’t remember but he seems to??

Honestly idk pls give me answers

[fanfaire]

' ROBIN ' SEEMED AN APT NAME——she nods accordingly, like a puzzle piece slotting in neatly. "it's not as though there was ever a good opportunity," she sets upon the other's apology with pragmatic forgiveness, quickly then returning her attentions away from the brief diversion to the task at hand. the blank pages stare back at her in challenge, reflecting the girl's predicament. . . "what sort of melody might be best? a feeling for a girl afraid to feel at all. . . "

as she begins to consider the options, robin thinks quicker than she. "perhaps something that starts a little melancholic," she offers, and twin blues glance up to her in consideration, "then turns brighter until you get to the bridge. if this girl is afraid to feel, then the music should help guide her through that fear." her fingers start to move, skating and tapping out an invisible tune across the papers, a gesture the starlet herself is quite familiar with. "we start soft, maybe in the minor scale. then we can layer in more dynamic tones later on."

sound judgment, all sound. a few ideas begin to take shape, but she looks to kaveh first to see if he had anything to add. the scholar, however, merely nods absently, still looking like he's sorting through his thoughts. "this seems to be your area of expertise more than it is mine, so i'm willing to follow your lead here."

even so, his arms unfold in the next moment, and contemplative steps take him over to the window, where he gazes out past the panes as if searching for something.

". . .do you notice that? there are no stars."

furina's eyes quickly follow. she'd seen that earlier, but hadn't thought much of it. "maybe it has something to do with an unfilled wish. . . or not knowing what to wish for in the first place, if we're to take this symbolism at face value."

hm. . . ! yes, it could very well. . . indeed, leave it to the finest minds of sumeru to think so out of the box. eyes widen as she considers how this may tie into it all. "incorporating the view outside. . . of course! your expertise really is something special, kaveh. mm, hm. . . " she begins to pace as she talks, hardly even aware of the motion. "being afraid to feel isn't something to dismiss lightly. there are many reasons for that fear, and it can be an extremely valid one." she halts, opposing blues flickering for a passing moment——then gone. "not knowing what to wish for. . . being afraid to feel. . . yes. yes!" balled hand smacks into the other palm with resounding inspiration. she begins talking faster:

"a hesitant melody at first, a minor key——classic——perhaps even a different meter. yes, halting, hopeless. . . perhaps to this girl, feeling nothing is simpler than the pain of feeling when nothing ever comes of it. as the melody draws to its end, there's no need to give her some grand happy ending. such a dramatic change would only make light of the severity of her struggle. it's this that should be highlighted. of course, there shouldn't be no hope at all. . . but not overdone. one ray through the clouds is enough, one shooting star, and leave the audience to ponder. . . hm, hmmh ♩ ♫ ~ "

unaware of the other two's eyes tracking her, each with smiles of their own, she starts to hm out the beginnings of something even as the wheels keep turning, ideas pouring out faster than she can voice them. "an unresolved chord then? mmm, mm ♪ . . . something like that. . . ?"　/　@hopetune @aesthetecomplex

give little anguish

˚ʚ [ #GHSecondSky — week 2 ] ɞ˚

[hikayunas]

yuna should use her rich girl privileges to spoil hikaru, i think.

taking hikaru out shopping with her, using her father's money to buy expensive perfumes for herself, very nice cologne for hikaru. a variety of different scents, each on their own outside of hikaru's price range, that she'd never be able to buy if she were out shopping by herself or with her parents -- but yuna covers the cost and buys them for her, just so that she has something nice. even makes sure that each of hikaru's new colognes matches up nicely with a perfume that yuna is either buying or already has on her dresser.

(hikaru is carrying all of the shopping bags, of course.)

buying high-end lipstick and 'testing' it with hikaru, later, in her room, with kisses -- lips or arm -- to see if it rubs off or smudges, and doing this with each new shade, just in case one could possibly be faulty.

regularly having hikaru over for the night and washing her hair with the same nice shampoo and conditioner that yuna uses to keep her own hair so sleek -- being especially thorough if hikaru's had a long day or is particularly dirty or sweaty. brushing and combing out any knots or tangles (and just a little bit of affectionately combing her fingers through it) to keep hikaru's hair in as good condition as her own.

having a rich girlfriend has benefits 🐯

[schnaf]

23 days until jungsu's 23nd birthday

day 9 - mi gente

[electric-plants]

i love this event i love how the traveler had like two flirty moments with lyney and childe in the archon quests and hyv immediately had to remind us how down bad they are for xiao in waterborne poetry lmao

[4thegadiesandlentlemen]

BANGER POST AGAIN !!!

I both hate and love the ambiguity. Because I'm tryna think back to Bjorn (who lived an incredibly short life omg) but the difference is he was brain dead and couldn't fight back. The retired characters aren't. So he must've found a way to keep them steady??

And omg??? How he'd feel WHEN he dies??? I didn't even think of that. But that is honestly such a good point.

Now everything past this point I'm just assuming things again

Wayne loves life and I believe it's because of the free will he gets. Death would mean the end to all that possibility and fun shit to do. He seems like the kinda person to make his own meaning to life than find one (to me, at least). I don't think he'd think about his mortality too much cause he just lives in the moment. He doesn't think about the future or past, he just goes through time as it is. Wanna add on more to this but my brain's overheating.

First death was blunt. No torture, no build up, no nothing. He was led out and just bled??? He also said help me even though he was in THAT state.

I'm spewing shit here but maybe he was begging cam to save him. (And I think he might've asked Robin to help? I forgot so I won't talk about it until I reset☹️) I believe Wayne knows Cameron is Wayne is a pussy when it comes to confrontation so when Cam dies from an allergic reaction he caused, I doubt Wayne called for help with the possibility of Cam snitching. Then Cameron just comes back lol and they're back to pranks. Clearly he wants to live. He has a little hope that Cam would bring him back. And he does?? In short, the death was just that so Wayne had faith he'd be resurrected.

Second death, he does an oopsie and talks to justin. Then we see him help captive looking half dead and talking about how there's more people. Hear me out, what if Justin saw the retired cast get made into clones? I mean not literally. I don't think the captives would be kept in the same room as the one Justin would be experimenting in. He might've either seen how they struggled or possibly heard something (which also feels unlikely yk Justin might get soundproof walls or like uhh tranquilized them? (Sedated? Chloroform? Put them under anesthesia?What's the word?) idk I have too many thoughts on this).

The way Wayne looks is awful I can't even lie. No one can tell me he wasn't stressed out of his mind. But he's just been kept there? He either died by a bullet or by becoming Justin. But those deaths wouldn't just be quick. They had build up. And he might've lost hope and it didn't matter which way he got out of the situation, he just wanted to get out. So when he dies, he'd feel relief. But I'm still clinging onto the idea he doesn't want to lose his life so I'd think he'd so conflicted.

Then he's just brought back by the guy who saved him the first time. The same guy who killed him. Just brought back to suffer. Bitchy husk as a man I hope you don't come back. ( If he does I'm actually gonna be so pissed even though I love him mwah. Let him rest! )

I hate that I'm so invested in this.

AAAAAAAAA JUSTIN CASE UPDATE??? WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID HE JUST POST RHE SPOILERS TO THE NEXT INSTALLEMENT OF THE STROY RIGHT THERE INSREA DOF BEING LIKE YEAH IM DOING IT IM KILLING CAM RN FUCK ME (ron intended)

anywayssssss

nathaniel is dead, not very skibidi sigma of him at all but i’m not too surprised, cam’s been trying to get rid of ol’ nathan for a WHILE (besides, look at his last name. it was inevitable)

cam added a mary sue self insert oc that’s basically a god into the cgcu who’s summoned by racism and sexual jokes. damn.

i get the ending and it’s alright, but also seems anticlimactic. like cam shows up and tells justin “dude you’re a fictional made up character on the internet you’re already immortal 💀” and justin’s like “oh fr then ig i’ll stop” which isn’t that satisfying at all. i don’t like that ending the discord’s ending (ask me for an invite link if ur interested in the server, we’re all very cool) is much better since yk. it has actual character development.

personally? i don’t like this ending much and i am unsatisfied. it might be better if he actually posts it but i still don’t like it much. if only…….i finished the goddamn animation……..ughhh

also……….max? whipping it out? right there? cam you better film this part or else /hj