#there are so many aesthetics is insane and cannot tag them all

[yaralulu]

Thank you for the tag @sad-scarred-sassy @highlordofkrypton @achaotichuman !! This is so fun!!

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing?

My writing process is very …ungraceful lol. Most of my fics stem from random dialogue that I came up with on like the bathroom floor and I just build a story around that dialogue. Usually I take a few days to kinda plan the fic and to brainstorm the overall scenes in it. Fill in the gaps on what happens before and after the main dialogue, figure out character dynamics and timelines,etc.

Once I have a solid idea of what I want to write, I will procrastinate for like week because I’m annoying 👍.When I finally get a surge of motivation/I force myself to open a new document , I just start writing whenever and wherever I can (I write on my phone because I am the farthest thing from a professional). I’m a relatively slow writer so it takes me either a week to finish something or a month,just depends.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Definitely plotter. I need to have a basic outline of what’s gonna happen before I even consider writing something.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Nothing! But listening to songs that remind me of the fic i’m working on definitely puts me in the mood to write but I don’t listen whilst I’m writing.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

Very rarely am I ever eating/drinking something when I’m writing. Either I’m slumped on my bed or I’m literally in the middle of a public place (professionalism 👍).

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

My beloved luzriel fic Want by Proxy. I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing me talk about it but it’s my child. I’m very proud of it! (however my actual fav thing is lowkey all the things i’ve written for lucienweek hehe.)

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

Oh boy. My tamcien angst fic a bridge between us flopped so bad on ao3 but I really love it!! It’s short and yet very angsty and exactly the kind of tamcien stuff that I like to read. Honestly a little scarred by how bad it did LOL but I’ll get over it.

Do you have any advice for new writers?

I’m a baby writer myself and genuinely my number one advice is: Stop comparing yourself to other writers. It’s such a hard cycle to get out of when you’re a new writer but you cannot keep looking at experienced writer’s works and comparing yourself to them. With time and effort, you’ll be just as good but beating yourself up because you’re not as good as them right now will get you nowhere. Just keep writing!! Have fun and write what you wanna read and before you know it you’ll be just as good!!

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

Descriptive writing!! I feel like I’m slowly getting better at writing descriptive settings but still it’s very hard. I just wish I had the ability to string words together so beautifully that you could literally picture what I’m talking about.

Using prose and lyrical language is another thing I aspire to be good at. I really admire people who write absolute poetry in their fics. Like the flow and language they use is just insane and so evocative. Being able to make readers feel the character’s emotions because of the strong language used is definitely something I want to get better at!!

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

Azriel!! He really took me by surprise but I really enjoyed writing his personality and stoicism. Writing guarded characters is very fun because even I don’t know what the hell they’re feeling lol. It was definitely a guessing game trying to figure out how he’d react to stuff but I enjoyed crawling inside his head.

Also Eris!! I now understand why so many of my mutuals love writing him because he’s genuinely so.freaking.fun to write. Something about his aesthetic is just so addicting. Like I had a blast picking out what he wore in my fic and describing the clothes and his hair like he’s literally a princess. His aura just makes my brain go brrr. He’s just such a fun character to play around.

Tagging: @the-darkestminds @olenvasynyt @viktoriaashleyyx @sonics-atelier and whoever would like to join in!!

[bits-and-babs]

-ˋˏ ULTRAVIOLENCE ˎˊ-

laters-gators 6k followers celebration

I cannot believe that we’ve hit a huge milestone again so early. For this event to come at a time where I really needed a pick me up means the world. 6,000 of you little people out there follow me to see my words on your phone/tablet/computer screens, all because you like them. That’s insane to me!

As a token of appreciation, we’re back at it again with a follower celebration! This is a way for me to say thank you!

before we begin, some rules: (Read these carefully or your ask will be deleted!)

➸ Reblog to spread the word! ➸ Please see my inbox rules and who I write for before sending in asks. ➸ You can send in as many asks as you want, but some events will be restricted to non-anons only!

➸ This inbox for this event is open now! I will begin posting on the 24th! Inbox closes on the 26th ❤︎

❤︎ THIS EVENT HAS NOW CLOSED ❤︎

how to send an ask:

The inbox for this event is open now! To participate in this event, please send an ask via the link here, or the ‘Tell Me Something Sweet’ button at the top of my blog, and set out the ask with the corresponding emoji at the start. It makes my life much easier this way!:

“ 🐺 - Blue Jeans. ”

“ ☁️ - 29: ‘Thigh Riding’ with Marc Spector. ”

“ 🗝 - Joel Miller and Teacher!AU!”

open to everyone:

➸ Blue Bannisters [🗝]: Send me a character and a concept/aesthetic and I will make a mood board with a 100 word drabble.

➸ Chemtrails Over The Country Club [🐺]: Send me a Lana Del Rey song and I'll write a drabble with the character it most reminds me of!

➸ Lust For Life [⛓]: Send me any word and I will send you a paragraph from my WIPs that contains that word - if there are any! Choose wisely!

➸ Honeymoon [🐚]: send me the link to a fic you have written and I will tell you my favourite parts and lines!

➸ Norman Fucking Rockwell [☁️]: send me a number from this smut dialogue prompt list here and a character of your choice and I will write a drabble!

open to non-anons:

➸ Ultraviolence [💿]: Send me a number from this smut prompt list here and a character of your choice and I will write a drabble!

➸ Born To Die [🎙️]: Send me your favourite song and I'll ship you with one of my Blorbos!

Event Masterlist:

➸ Blue Bannisters [🗝]:

Nat 20 || D&D!Matt the Radar Tech

Oklahoma Smokeshow || CountryCowboy!Joel Miller

The Reckoning Begins || Gunslinger!Mills

100 On The Dash || F1 Principle!Enzo Ferrari

On the Wild Side || SafariTourGuide!Mills

Precious Metals || TreasureHunter!Mills

➸ Chemtrails Over The Country Club [🐺]:

The Other Woman (Duke Leto Atreides)

Dark Paradise [coming soon...]

Blue Jeans (Mills)

Honeymoon (Joel Miller)

Not All Who Wander Are Lost (Ezra (Prospect))

➸ Norman Fucking Rockwell [☁️]:

Din Djarin || “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

Frank Castle || “Are you going to eye-fuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?”

Javier Pena || "I'm gonna fuck you so good that you forget you ever even met that asshole"

Joel Miller || “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.” ❤︎ “Show me how you like to be touched.”

Joel Miller || "There's no way I'm gonna let you wear that in public."

Joel Miller || “Do you think you deserve my cock right now?”

Joel Miller || “Look what you’ve done to me. I’ve had to deal with this all day.”

Leto Atreides || “Pay attention to me or I’ll make you.”

Shane ‘Dio’ Morrisey || “Did you miss feeling me around you so much that you’ve resorted to your hand?”

Steven Grant || “Your nipples are so sensitive today…”

Commander Mills || “Fuck me like a starved animal or leave.”

Commander Mills || “Your pussy tastes so sweet.”

➸ Ultraviolence [💿]:

Commander Mills || Drenched

Joel Miller || Frisk-y

tagging a few mutuals who may be interested (you can ignore if you like!): @foxilayde ❤︎ @nexusnyx ❤︎ @psychedelic-ink ❤︎@inklore ❤︎ @charnelhouse ❤︎ @writefightandflightclub

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Intro Post

LikeTwoSwansInBalance.

I have an Instagram account under the same name.

I've been a fan of SGE since about 2016. I'm a writer and an analyst/theorist. Generally, I do a lot of Rafal- and prequel duology-oriented posting.

My AO3.

My Wattpad.

Masterpost for my WIP longfic, The One True School Master of Vault 41.

My sideblog. I mostly use it for some SGE posting with less substance and for non-SGE yet still book-related things.

Information on asks.

This is mainly a book fan account. When I reference the movie, I will explicitly state that I am doing so, and tag accordingly.

Disclaimer: Most of the images in my aesthetics aren't mine, so I cannot claim ownership of them. Many are partly inspired by or derived from others in the fandom.

My username is a direct quote from The Last Ever After, referencing a particular scene. It is also a reference to all the narrative parallels and dualities throughout the books. The swans themselves, the Evers and Nevers, and all the twins: Rhian and Rafal, Sophie and Agatha, Rhian and Japeth. I love narrative parallels! Even Castor and Pollux, and Biggle and Boggle from the deleted scenes. It's insane but wonderful, the number of twins in the series.

My favorite book of the main series is The Last Ever After. I also love Rise of the School for Good and Evil.

I’ve read Beasts and Beauty.

Favorite Characters: Sophie, Rafal (I've loved his character since TLEA, possibly since the ending of AWWP), Rhian (the School Master), Tedros, Agatha, Rhian (from TCY), Merlin, Lady Lesso, Lancelot (He is the best comic relief!), August Sader, Callis, Beatrix

I find Evelyn Sader and Japeth interesting, but I don't particularly like Evelyn. Though, I've begun to sympathize with Japeth more. Marialena was entertaining, but I didn’t like Vulcan, even if I did find him entertaining as a source of conflict.

Favorite Ships: Sophie x Rafal, Tedros x Agatha, occasionally Sophie x Rhian, and maybe, Callis x August Sader (theoretically)

Favorite Other Relationships: Rhian and Rafal, Sophie and Agatha, Tedros and Sophie, Rhian and Sophie, Sophie and the Storian, School Master Rhian and the Storian, Sophie and Lady Lesso, Sophie and School Master Rhian (hypothetically—they could meet through Rafal?), Merlin and Tedros, Agatha and August Sader, Merlin and Sophie

Favorite Rivalries: Sophie versus Tedros, Rafal versus the Storian, Rhian versus Rafal

Furthermore, I loved it when Sophie got her ending, alone and in a position of power, during her stint as Dean of Evil at the end of TLEA. I enjoyed how it was explored in slightly greater depth in the Handbook and at the beginning of QFG as well. It was a satisfying end to her character arc, how she was content, alone. TLEA was such a fulfilling ending, the best ending in the series in fact.

[nibwhipdragon]

Joseph and Shadow for the unhinged character bingo :3

Hee hee finally got around to answering this :3

To start, Joseph:

I cannot put into words how much I have feelings for this man. Positive? Negative? Neutral? Yes

He's so, SO divorceable it's not even a want anymore it's a NEED. I'm signing our divorce papers before we even get married, Joseph Joestar divorce speedrun any% [WR]

There's so much wrong with him in the head. He's been through so much and he never got therapy for it and the aftereffects are never elaborated or explored and just. I am ripping him to pieces, disassembling him and using the pieces I like the most in my fics <3 If Araki didn't want to explore the sort of effects going through the events of part 2 on a person then I sure the fuck will, there's so many thoughts I have not posted about him yet, I have so many ideas and thoughts, but not a way to elaborate them and AUGHHHHHHH

SLAMMING HIM AGAINST THE WALL KILLING HIM BURNING HIM ALIVE TAKING HIM TO GET SANDWICHES EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE BREAD ITS JUST FOR THE AESTHETIC OK WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN GOING ON ABOUT NOW LIKE BASICALLY I WANNA DO EVERYTHING WITH HIM OK

I could go on for much longer than this, but I'll save you the pain of reading an extremely long piece of text and just move onto Shadow.

I'm surprised you picked up on this, seeing the hedgehog mold in my brain has only recently taken effect, but yeah I'm insane over Shadow too

He just. He consistently hits every single box for things I like. He has that black/red/white colour scheme, one of my favourite colour schemes ever. Despite being the ultimate lifeform, he uses guns. He has a character design that's so gender. He's got trauma from a loved one being (essentially) brutally murdered in front of him. Also from what I've seen of him he seems pretty autistic so that's always a plus in my eyes.

Most importantly though, I fit all his criteria for marriage. I'd elaborate on that but really it all just boils down to me being autistic, so I'll skip through it all. I can get married to Shadow. And you know what comes after marriage?

✨️Divorce✨️

It is fully within my power to get divorced to Shadow the Fucking Hedgehog. Imagine that. My god. Do you know how well I sleep at night knowing that? Sure I have sleep problems so I barely sleep at all but the times I do sleep are even more blissful than before with this knowledge.

You know what? I should get divorced to him right this second. I WILL get divorced to him right now. Once I finally increase my divorce list enough to warrant making a carrd for it (well. I have to put my list somewhere for people to look at in awe, don't I?) he's gonna be right at the top, in all special font. He deserves it.

@kirstenonic05 tagged me in a post with the bingo and said I should do one for Cheval in the tags, so I'll slap that here too.

Can you believe his name means horse in French. Can you believe that. Wild. Instead of just. Changing his name outright he has a completely different name for the French translation, Ren. Crazy. He's my silly little horse man, commiting crimes since age 13 <3

Despite what most people think of him I think his character arc in Stories 1 was good. Cmon. If I was 12 and had my mother be crushed to death brutally in front of me, and had that trauma fester within me with no help at all, AND ended up having access to fire breathing monsters and weapons, I'm sure I'd go on a killing spree too. He genuinely thought he was doing the right thing and the only reason he acts that way to Lute is because he genuinely doesn't understand why he wouldn't take the "safe" way out by killing monsters the moment they were a threat to human life, but instead try to find an alternative solution to the problem where both survive. And then there was that whole emotional manipulation thing with Manelger and Itsy Bits and just...nobody gets him like I do.

Taking him to therapy, he really does need it after all that happened. Divorcing him too tbh

[my-chemical-ratz]

1, 4, 6, & 11 for the violence ask meme... I Must Know.

the character everyone gets wrong: obviously luke skywalker no one seems to know shit about him. hes angry and hes passionate and he chooses every fucking day to be a jedi no matter now tempting it is to give into his anger. stop with the flower child bullshit!!!!! he is actively rearing back his temper!!!!!! hes scary enough as a jedi u dont wanna see him go joker mode!!!!!!!!!!

also skylar white from breaking bad. random but she is a BAD BITCH and people hate her for no fucking reason like im sorry she is milf material

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person: tbh i dont usually follow people unless i wanna keep seeing their posts so i dont really block people. so usually i just block people if theyre like a terf or some shit i just try to stay in my own little bubble haha. or if im recommended an "ai artist" or smth similar

6. which ship fans are the most annoying: oghgh. im gonna be honest. like. all of them. idk but like. people who only post about One Singular Ship annoy the fuck out of me. or like write reallllyyy long posts about their ship. like cool if you do that, have fun, i just cant stand it. i dont really have a reason why but i dont like having ships shoved in my face every few seconds. i do reblog ship art on occasion but thats about it. idk i just hate people who focus on One Ship and thats ALL they talk about. give me variety!!!!!!

ALSO. yk that one type of fan thats like. their entire aesthetic is their fandom. im not talking like autism mode everything i own is star wars (cause thatd be hypocritical of me lmaoooo i have so much star wars stuff its insane) like yk disney adult/harry potter adult types. its not specifically about ships but yk. i HATE these fans i CANNOT STAND THEM you cannot have a nuanced conversation about anything. ESPECIALLY if theyre star wars dudebros. god. i would rather drink from a toilet for the rest of my life than talk to them about fandom shit.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered: ok i have no idea how many and i dont wanna bother counting. but ive blocked as many dsmp and harry potter tags as possible :3 i just realized i dont have reylo filtered im gonna go do that now

[bcneheaded]

BASICS !

NAME: Artemis NICKNAME/S: "The Keeper" / "Shopkeeper" / occasionally accepts "Artie". AGE: N/A SPECIES: Demon. fallen greek god.

PERSONAL !

MORALITY: lawful  /  chaotic  /  good  /  neutral  /  evil  /  true RELIGION: N/A SINS: greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  /  lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility  /  kindness  /  patience  /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: Many, if not most. SECRETS: He was/is the original Eros. + He has a magically sealed room with souls in stasis (not conscious) in the dungeon/basement, these are the souls of the victims of his previous, demonic rage when he emerged from hell, and the owners of the bones he wears (he hopes to free them one day... when he is ready. This requires him to relinquish the bones though. They have become a part of him in a deep way... he needs time.).

PHYSICAL !

BUILD: scrawny  /  bony  /  slender  /  fit /  athletic  /  curvy  /  herculean  /  pudgy  /  average HEIGHT: 6'0" - 6'2" SCARS / BIRTHMARKS: There are what look like permanent tear streaks, darker than his tar... like...lines? beneath where his 'eyes' are under his skull. No one knows about these. They're... a form of spiritual scar. ABILITIES / POWERS: Inhuman physical strength, agility etc. Immortality, Cannot feel pain (nor pleasure), Molten (can superheat his tar), Tendrils (can manipulate his tar, often to create many "limbs" equal to his strength), Hyper-mobility (he has these bones, but he is in reality the tar itself. hes insanely flexible), can travel quickly by traversing between this plane and the next? its like the realm of shadows & is horrendous for the human psyche. He's a demon though so hes fine jjfdgj . Can also hide in shadows! Kinda steps to the side of ''field of vision'' of the living to hide in plain sight. Can form soul contracts (does not) etctecetc. General magic usage. RESTRICTIONS: His appearance cannot be altered in any permanent way. + he isn't good at alteration magic, so any ''fake human form'' he'd use would NOT last long, especially if it had to be maintained.

FAVORITES !

FOOD: N/A DRINK: Tea, coffee, wine (he can't drink it though; its the aesthetic of it + warmth of hot beverages he likes) PIZZA TOPPING: N/A COLOR: Black, white, almost all dark colors. MUSIC GENRE: Classical, generally. BOOK GENRE: Mystery, tragedies, romantic comedies. MOVIE GENRE: Same as his book taste; prefers plays/theatre. CURSE WORD: No 'favourite' / rarely swears (he's a gentleman). "Damn"/"Damn it" if anything. Usually substitutes for old sayings though. SCENTS: Faint florals, charcoal, old books, tea, etc. (he can't smell well enough to /enjoy/ scents but these are ones that bring him comfort)

FUN STUFF !

SONGS: Oh god I don't know jfsDSFS I don't know classical songs!! he probably does have favourites he just whips out by name tho AESTHETIC: Dark colours, tailored suits & cravat ties, Victorian gothic, the smell of old books, morning newspaper and tea SINGS IN THE SHOWER: No LIKES PUNS: ... He's particular about them, but an old man at heart so yes.

tagged by: @normaltothemax (ty ! &lt;3 ) tagging: you reading this!! you, I'm tagging you!!

[kyaruun]

Since when did the graphics suck they're literally so cute

This one is literally embedded in my mind like I ASSOCIATE this with you

It isssss literally so cute but your other graphics are also so cute wthhhhhhh

Buuut I can do some tutorials on things you wanna know that I can do? I've been wanting to make a tutorial for a while now actually

. Me too like I don't have a schedule and while I write on a "rotation", I spend so muxh time and energy on irl things that I don't get much time to write. I literally haven't gotten through my reqs from last August. Rip my 800 event from. Before then??? Cannot even keep track it's been like a year

My follow count is only that high bcs I wrote for haikyuu (in 2020 its peak) then I joined the genshin bus kinda early (?) Which is still huge and I wrote misc fics for whatever else, and it was also my edit blog??? And now I'm here shitposting so I got followers from like lots of places

The way yours is in the 700s and a loooot older than mine pls I'm also in the 700s in nazukisser.... insanity

Well personally i love your leo so I think that it should happen because you deserve it. And writing a series.... yes.... smaus are so fun I have domicile on nazukisser for reference if you want it and my fav smau ever is club stupid by tumblr user kodzuvii highly recommend I just become a redhead kita's cousin and tendou's best friend number 1 miracle girl and down bad for suna rintarou whenever I read it.

WAAAA I can't wait to see your revamp !!! Thank you.. I always try to have some sort of match (character/color/style) all throughout!! If you need help/opinions/etc lmk!!!

Right like what happened . We were thriving. Then we boomed for a second and died. Like I see the nazuna x reader tag and ME AND KAZE ARE THE ONLY ONES like bruh? And my fics have been flopping tho it seems everyone's have been flopping too

Yeah the only thing keeping me tied down here is the server..... it's like my lifetime... come back we miss you

I MISS NURI TOO... bee has arknights now....I miss.... and runanananna....... ate swanee's writing.... SHE DOES THAT TO US TOO not that I hate it but she drops like a couple of lines in snippets and dips and I'm like *SCREEEECHES*

If you come back to my server we welcome you back we miss you :(((

I can only be grateful that some of us are left tho.... i7 is so dead and e7 LMFAO??? I was legit the only one it was so darned sad

THAT'S THE ONLY ONE I LIKE!! i love watching vids about journaling and that kind of thing and they make the cutest decorated polaroids so i wanted to do something like that but very cutesy themed,, spring made me think of picnics so gingham <3 i actually played around with a few similar concepts like polaroid + random stickers and i planned to make banners with that but uuuu there are so many characters,, can't keep my focus for too long. i think they came out cute but it's probably too late to use them </3

i always wonder about what do people use to edit their pics because i was born a ps girlie and i still don't know how to use ps properly oops making your themes look nice and cohesive,, those cute pinned etc etc people who edit icons and make them look super aesthetic

i think i never tried to promote my blog because followers don't feel like an integral part of the process for me. i just write what comes to mind and share it with the world: if people like it i'm absolutely delighted and if they don't well,, at the end of the day most of my writing has been fun for me ^^ like come on i've written things that are silly and self indulgent and they worked fine and i'm here like. wow

i have considered writing for more series but the thing is the media i like has a fandom of like. 2.5 people on the good days. so it really doesn't make too much sense to even try that <.< genshin fandom scares tf out of me so i'll keep my extra fluffy albedo thoughts to myself. the bazillion "childe being a dumbass in love" posts. kazuha writing poetry. oops. getting flashbacks to the time i almost made a hypmic blog but i stopped myself at the last second out of embarrassment

i'm torn on whether a) people just aren't interested in that kind of content anymore (no way) or b) people DO read our stuff, they simply don't interact. not even a like. the migration of people from other social media into tumblr,, like sorry but i've been here since 2016? and it gets worst for writers every day </3

i have an immense amount of cute enstars thoughts a day and i feel like if i can't share them i will combust (my best friend has to deal with me every day),, it's mostly cute romantic stuff with my favs and my ocs, for obv reasons so i'm like uuuu should i even tell this to someone it's just embarrassing. like only other enstarries could understand why i keep rotating this bunch of dorks around my brain and getting the biggest serotonin boost out of it ueeee

i kind of miss being in a server with other people. i've been feeling very lonely lately due to uni so i think that'd be good for my mental health but at the same time,, i don't want to go back to talking once in a blue moon you know? ooo to be an anxious mess every day of your life.... like i get nervous so easily and i know i'll make someone uncomfortable so i simply keep quiet or i don't know how to join conversations because my social skills are -1. i'm a bit of a mess TT

as a bonus for reading all of this, wips of some of the banners/wallpapers? i was working on the last time. rei was meant to be a light pink/purple ish kind of shade but i don't mind how these came out either ^^ i need to print the cgs as polaroids again

[ging-ler]

Hey guys! I’m a Graphic Design major at Oregon State University, who is studying Color Theory in Aesthetics. It would be a major help if you could fill out this short survey for me. Also, please reblog! The more answers the better, thank you :)

[rataltouille]

GEOMETRY OF THE HOLY MOON (1 AM): A SHORT STORY

GENRE: surrealism, literary fiction.

POV & TENSE: this little space is not enough for how wild the form is so i talk about this later!!

SETTING: a small desi village, 1924-25.

TONE: dreamy, unsettling, melancholic.

THEMES: faith vs reality, how people perceive others and how they perceive themselves, grief dealt the wrong way.

AESTHETICS: the splash of water on a quiet night, thick clouds obscuring the sky, rippling the moon’s reflection on the water. the intensity of a garden in spring, the emptiness of a dying town, the suffocation from being singled out. hands grazing lightly but never fully held. a lingering sadness behind your laugh. believing in things you shouldn't believe in. putting faith on a starless sky.

STAGE: completed first draft, 4085 words.

LOGLINE: a young boy, surrounded by loss, claims to talk to god. the story follows him and his conversations with this god, all while his village spies on him as he weaves his way around the two most crucial and lonely years of his life.

LITERAL LOGLINE: on today’s news let’s talk about a small backward town that hates sad little boys who worship god, even though the place is lowkey a cult!!

CHARACTERS:

THE SUMMER BOY: he’s around thirteen, and he’s very emotionally attached to his past. he lost his family at a young age to an unstable force, so he spends his time talking to himself. he’s a quiet, demure and sweet person, always willing to help others. he’s outwardly oblivious and sees only the good in people to a point where he doesn't understand when they’re trying to do him wrong. but! considering how the story [like a lot of my others] has themes of perception vs reality, it needs to be said that he isn't all that innocent. he’s rather impulsive and rash, never afraid of hurting himself [and thus accidentally harming others].

A GOD: is he real? do we even know if he’s an actual god? a very elusive figure despite having a lot of screentime. he’s a surprisingly humanised character and arguably the one with the most empathy. he has a soft spot for the boy and the two have a deep bond which is not common for a human and a god to have. you don’t get insight to what the other gods are like, but they’re implied to exist. this story has a very messy and hazy view towards religion and godhood and their nature towards humanity, and this vague figure, a dreamlike character, is proof enough of that.

THE VILLAGE: okay so in general these people suck. the village consists of, well, the village, but they’re very fluid in the way they appear in the story? as in for the most part they appear as a collective, a unit. one character, the summer boy’s “friend”, is somewhat separate considering he’s a pretty important character. it’s very hard describing this unit of a character but essentially they’re the main antagonistic force and they hate the protagonist for seemingly no reason.

WHAT GOES DOWN:

sometime around this time, the boy chances upon meeting his “god”, this being who lives up in the clouds and whom he talks with often, except you don't know if this god is real or not. that’s one of the recurring themes of this story: what’s real and what isn’t. it’s :) a fun time :) for sure :)

essentially Things Happen And It Only Gets Weirder. i cannot even try describing what happens because it’s all very spoilery but let’s just say that this is a very sad story but not even in a “this makes me cry” manner, but rather in a “this is so fucked up wtf why”. the prose of this is very, very hazy and thick, in a manner that’s both smooth and suffocating. there’s also a lot of moon and water imagery which we love. i love the atmosphere + the setting—colonial india— as it’s a subtle but key element to the plot.

FORM:

OKAY YES be prepared for the true colours of how unhinged i am. i apologize for the form brainrot.

POV: so in this story i really said “what if it had all three of the main povs... jk jk... unless 😳😳” and then proceeded to use all three povs. you’re probably wondering, how did i do that? WHY did i do that? and my answer to that is: 🙂

the first-person pov: the summer boy narrates in first person. his pov takes up about 40% of the story, and this is where we unlock family backstory + how he feels about the various forces playing into his life. he’s an extremely unreliable narrator and he knows it; his narration oscillates between very naive and very self-aware, and this effect is pretty disconcerting. the summer boy is kind of a walking contradiction and we love that conflict.

the second-person pov: a god narrates in second person. his pov takes around 20% of the story, and his scenes all involve his conversations with the boy. his pov is extremely detached, and suspends belief because he seems awfully made up. there’s an edge to the prose in his narration, where you know that something's off, but you can’t exactly pinpoint what.

the third-person pov: the villagers narrate, either as a collective, or as an individual figure, in third person. they take up the other 40% of the story, and there are so many different people and differing opinions with this, and every time we read a third person excerpt it’s a different person, and this is mostly used to add onto the different ways in which the boy is perceived. this is also where the structural part of the form gets really wacky.

STRUCTURE: if my story isn't told in vignettes is it my story though /j. gothm is told in vignettes, each one between 50 to 500 words. the first and second person bits are normal-ish vignettes, with straightforward narration. the third person vignettes, on the other hand, are super assorted. we have a lot of epistolaric sections— there’s a letter, a folk song [which was found around the summer boy], and most of the conversation is told as just plain dialogue without tags. there’s also a phone call transcript, and finally some normal chunks of prose. what am i doing wtf.

also to add onto this the story is told non-linearly. 😀 the only thing that keeps me from going insane is the fact that there are chronological tags before most vignettes [also the manner in which they're tagged differs from pov to pov. for example a few of the third person conversations are marked just as “sunday” or “thursday”, while the summer boy’s narration is marked with the full date and year]

in all this clownery i completely forgot to mention what the tense was [the way everything else was so complicated that i forgot tense was a thing lmao] and good news!! it’s the only sane thing about this story!! it’s told fully in present tense. thank everything.

AN EXCERPT:

okay i’m once again not sharing much because this will be submitted to litmags 🧞

[The boy is scrawny as always. He carries an air of diswant— even death had rejected him when the plague killed only his grandmother— but walks like he doesn’t notice. He smiles at them, jitters, and wipes his hand across his knees. Blood comes away in thin, translucent lines. He saves it on the kerchief he keeps tucked in his shirt, careful to dirty the cloth even more. The villagers scrunch their noses in disgust; who knew how old and rotten the kerchief was, or how long it had carried blood like the unwashed sword of a warrior?]

also by the way this excerpt is in square brackets because it is a third-person interjection in a vignette that is otherwise first-person [at this point...]

SPARE THOUGHTS:

this was inspired by a conversation i had with my grandfather, where he was telling me about how people used to sing songs to the skies, as a way of devotion to a specific god. he used the [loose translation of] the english word “yearning” to refer to the emotion the singers would invoke, and that sparked the concept of a disillusioned young boy who talks to the moon as a way to please the god he’s in love with. it’s a very softly disconcerting story and once again deals with the theme of “perception vs reality” which if you know me and my work, is the theme i’m forever obsessed with.

i really like how this turned out? the atmosphere is exactly how i wanted it to be, and there’s so much i have to add on as i edit and i’m really looking forward to that. this is also the only short story i’ve written where i knew which litmag i’d love for it to be published in? like i never write things with publishing in mind, but for some reason while writing this story it occurred to me that it would be a perfect fit for this specific magazine and i love that. anyway if you’ve made it through the post till here,,,, bless you and your braincells. and that’s all for today!!

[krabmeat]

𝟷𝟶𝟶 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜? 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢? 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔? 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛?

HELL YEAH FELLAS YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!! FIRST MAJOR MILESTONE BAYBEEEE LETS GOOOOOO!!

guys, i really dont think you see how insanely mental this is. like what?!?! i joined here cause a friend of mine was gushing about a writer here and eventually convinced me to get tumblr. they called me their "noob reading friend /affectionate" and now look at me!! not even a year in and ive gained a crowd? thats so damn cool to think about!! to think that this many people are willing to put aside time in their day to read some fics made by me, im floored man!! all in all though, i have no one to thank but my wonderful mutuals and followers who have helped floor and construct the fantastic beginnings of this blog. which is why im here to bring you all this event that i sincerely hope you guys enjoy!

🦑KRABS KAN MAKE WRITING EVENTS WOW!!🦑

ALRIGHT FELLAS, IM DOING A WRITING EVENT!! HERES THE RULES AND PROMPTS NOW BOSSMEN!

~rules~

only 2 people per prompt

despite me not writing romantic fics yet, all participants are absolutely welcome to!

no smut/nsfw, im not that kind of blog and i do plan on reading entries so please dont submit anything related!!

any and all fics glorifying and supporting bigoted or misogynistic ideals will not be tolerated or respected. this is non-negotioable but if the fic has any of this that results in the putting down of or generally recognizing these ideals as negative then that is completely fine!

you are to use the quote prompts in your fic (im gonna be loose on this though so dw!! :DD)

you can use as many different prompts as youd like!!

please keep submissions in mcyt territory as thats who i write for most. but this doesnt confine to just mcyts in the dsmp! go wild dudes, hermitcraft, third life, pop off!!

keep all fics for minors platonic and platonic ONLY

generally know and respect the boundaries for ccs

when asking for a prompt, please put who you will be writing for!!

TAG ME IN YOUR FICS!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH PLEASE ID ADORE IT IF YOU TAGGED ME SO I CAN READ YOUR WONDERFUL WORK!!

you can use and interpret the prompts any way you want! doesnt matter if its in the angst section, you see fluff potential? go for it, vice versa!!

~prompts~

~fluff~

"I swear, if you make us late one more time I'll tape a clock to your wrist." "Isnt that a watch-?" "Shut it!"

"Look! I think it likes me!" (@ohworm-writes with cc!beeduo)

"Man, how did I catch such a good person?"

"Yknow, your parents really did something great when they made you."

"WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN?!" "THERE ARE WARNING LABELS RIGHT THERE!"

"Take a picture, itll last longer~" "Okay!" "Wait you actually did that-?"

"That does NOT fit you." "Yeah it does! Just gotta roll it up a bit!"

"You aren't 'built different', you're just stupid." (@ohworm-writes with cc!tommy @jschllatt with cc!sapnap

"If it ever happens again, tell me. You know i adore you."

"Well..they dont even deserve you anyways! Just look at you- gorgeous!!"

~angst~

"KEEP F*CKING WALKING, THEN! CANT EVEN FACE YOUR OWN DAMN PARTNER! (or friend! :])"

"No, youre amazing!" "Then why arent i treated like it?"

"Do it again, see if i care."

"Guys..? GUYS! THEY ARENT MOVING!"

"Put the damn drink down and talk to me!"

"Its about time you get whats due, you know."

"So not only do you think im stupid, but you also think im still naive?"

"Just take me seriously for once in your damn life!"

"You'd better start running in the next 5 seconds."

"What do you take me for, a joke?!" "Wasnt that obvious?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now that thats done, heres the ask game part of the event!!! send me the corresponding emoji in my ask box and ill respond!

👽~ ill tell you a weird or memorable occurance that has happened on tumblr between friends and moots!

😳~ ill kin assign you and try to guess who you kin! (friends and moots only)

🍒~ ill rate your blog aesthetic on a scale of 1-10

🥀~ ill give you a bunch of emojis that remind me of you! (friends and moots only)

😎~ ill tell you obscure things i think are very neat!

🌺~ ill tell you a random interesting fact i know!

🦑~ if you send me a description of yourself, personality etc then ill write you a short ship fic with a mcyt!! specify if you want it to be platonic or romantic and if you want it to be c! or cc!(this is to work on my romantic writing!! friends and moots only)

💃~ ill tell you songs that remind me of you! (friends and moots only)

📕~ ill tell you something small or obscure i secretly think about you! (friends and moots only)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now...onto the final part- HONOURABLE MENTIONS!!!

@myceliummenace ~ these guys got me into tumblr, some of my closest friends and theyve been supporting me since day one. i couldnt be happier to breathe the same air as these guys, they all deserve a crown and if you disagree i will chomp your hand

@niceimafan ~ an absolute saint!! i came across inks former writing blog and fell in love with both them and their wonderful work /p!!!! theyve helped me through some hellish times and are all around so damn open and accepting

@jschllatt ~ istfg this lady is just-- SOOOO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT??? nat is incredibly talented and has encouraged me throughout my time here and i couldnt be happier with how weve grown as friends!! and i know, despite how wholesome and soft nat seems to be i promise you she knows how to keep a bit going like no other. an amazing moot, stay funky :]

@im-an-ungodly-mess ~ okay look,, i know i havent interacted with these guys for a lot buttt...CAN YOU REALLY BLAME ME??!!? LIKE CMON THEYRE ALL JUST SO COOL!!! the moment i met them i knew our chaotic energies would merge and boy did they merge alright. also theyre just insanely nice and super willing to endulge with me in my random interest which is always a sexy trait to have. 10 out of 10, these guys are neato

@ohworm-writes ~ ahhh wormmm, delightful all around and just a sweetheart....BUT THEYVE GOT SHENANIGANS- as well as being extremely skilled as well like, dayummm!!! i live for our bond over fandoms outside of the mcyt fandom and i feel blessed to have you be a moot! much love, dear!

@marcooze ~ bro....whyd you have to do me like that dude? being so gosh damn kind and accepting like that like sheesh all the stuff you reblog is gold!!! it can be the most cracked out post or the most serious and informational one. idgaf that youre a reblog blog, you mean the world to me and i shall place a supple kiss on your hand as bros do <3

@ramzawrites ~ THE FIRST WRITERS BLOG IVE EVER FOLLOWED!!! ramza dear, if no one has ever told you how iconic you are then PLEASE LET ME BE THE FIRST!!! everything you do leaves me in awe and despite your talent, you still have miles and miles of kindness and generosity? you are one in a million, ramza. you deserve everything and please know how much you mean to me. thank you for supporting me so much for so long, and i hope your days are filled with really cool rocks :]]

[hollyethecurious]

CS AU: A Scandal at Swansdown (1/3)

Acknowledgement: This fic was inspired by this breathtaking and heart-wrenching art and prompt @itsfabianadocarmo​ posted last month. She graciously gave me her blessing to run with this idea and take it in my own direction, as well as allow me use of her aesthetic as cover art. I ask that you all go flail at her because she is a gift and deserves all the blame credit for this!

Summary: While employed by the Jones family to serve as housemaid at their country estate, Swansdown, Emma Nolan-Blanchard has been having an affair with Killian Jones, the future Earl of Hookshire. Emma knew they were being reckless, knew she might already be in trouble, and not just because she has fallen in love with a man she knows she can never truly have. When that “trouble” is discovered by her lover’s step-mother, Lady Jones, Emma is faced with an impossible choice: leave, without so much as a word to the man she loves, and receive a severance that would allow her to give herself and her child their best chance, or be turned out into the street with nothing, left in ruin. Heartbroken, Emma has no other choice but to accept Lady Jones’ terms. With her mother’s ring, the hush money she received, and a quick lie to mask her true identity, Emma set off, determined to make a new life for herself. A life, with its many twists and turns that would eventually lead her to the precipice of that which she’d always wanted. Could a mere maid achieve a happy ending with an earl after all?

A/N: Y’ALL!!! After seeing Fabiana’s art, and reading the prompt, my muse went absolutely insane and in a little more than a week, I have written over 22k on this fic. This has only ever happened to me twice before. I am currently writing the final scenes, and expect to finish it this week, so I am happy to say you’ll be getting this in three parts over the next three Sundays.

Now, a few items of note. While Regina does feature in this fic, she is not the Regina the prompt suggests. I have molded her after the canon Regina we see before she is tainted by darkness. Young, idealistic, kind-hearted even. Also, I have set this in a sort of a Regency era realm within the EF, if you will. I didn’t want to use England/London (a place I have little knowledge of in regards of layout or locations), or worry about historical accuracy, so I’m taking liberties by setting it in a totally fictional place and time.

Finally, much love to my amazing betas and cheerleaders: @kmomof4​, @ultraluckycatnd​, @veryverynotgoodwrites​ and @artistic-writer​ - y’all are the bestest!!

Rated M for language and… other things / Available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list

Part One 

Emma awoke with a jolt. A heavy arm was draped over her side and a solid, hair covered chest was pressed against her back. Panic flooded her system. She’d fallen asleep.

Careful not to disturb her lover, she reached over and grabbed the pocket watch he always kept on his bedside table. A shuddering breath left her lungs in relief that it was not too late for her to venture back to her quarters without risk of being caught.

Replacing his watch, Emma gingerly lifted his arm so she could escape his embrace undetected, but before she could scoot away, his arm tightened around her and she felt his face nuzzle the back of her neck.

“Stay,” he murmured with the rasp of sleep clinging to the word.

“You know I cannot,” she said, turning to face him and brushing the fringe that had fallen across his forehead off his face. “Future earls might have the luxury of staying abed until midmorning, but we servants do not,” she teased. “The scullery maids will be awake soon to light the fires. What do you think they would do if they found me here, naked in your bed?”

She gasped at his swift movement, rolling them so she was caged beneath him as he waggled his brows and saucily suggested, “Perhaps they would join us? If we asked nicely?”

Emma smacked his flank, the crack of her palm against his bare skin breaking the quiet of the room. A growl rumbled in his chest and he retaliated by grabbing her wrists and pinning them over her head, leaving her completely at his mercy as he smiled down at her with a wicked grin.

“You would raise a hand against your future lord?” he questioned, dropping his voice to the deep timbre that never failed to send her heart racing and made her toes curl. “Such an infraction deserves a rough punishment, indeed,” he mused, capturing both her wrists in one large hand so his free one could begin a path of exquisite torment over her body. “Question is… which punishment shall best fit your crime?”

Emma’s back left the plush surface of his mattress when his hand slipped between her legs. Her arched position put her breasts in the perfect place to fall victim to his mouth, his tongue hot and rough against her sensitive nipples, her breasts still tender from his earlier attentions.

Or at least, she hoped that was the cause.

She knew she was being reckless, knew what she shared with her lover could not last, and had already come to suspect she may already be in trouble. And not simply because she had fallen in love with him.

Killian Jones, heir to an earldom that would one day soon pass to him even though he was the second born son of Lord Brennan Jones, his older brother having been lost at sea a number of years ago.

Killian Jones, the man who had intervened when one of his drunken friends had attempted to take liberties with her, a chambermaid newly hired to serve Swansdown, the Jones family’s country estate, and who she found herself falling for day by day until she fell into his bed for the first time six months ago.

Killian Jones, the man currently worshipping her body without penance, making her forget the sin she was committing against her station as he whispered praise into her skin while stoking the fires of forbidden ecstasy between her legs. Though a kind and generous lover, Killian Jones was no saint. His fingers, tongue, and cock could take her to heights of pleasure she never knew existed, which made him an all the more dangerous temptation.

Dangerous, perilous, treading a line of damnation she would never be able to redeem herself from if anyone within the household discovered their dalliances. None of those things were of concern to her at this moment, though. The only pressing matter she was focused on at present was Killian’s thumb against her clit and his gruff command that she come being breathed into her ear.

She was nothing if not a dutiful servant, trained to heed her master’s every wish. Surrendering to the tide of pure bliss washing over her in waves, Emma’s cries were muffled by the hand that had released her wrists while his other continued to coax out every last ounce of pleasure from her. When at last her satisfaction was complete, her eyes fluttered open in time to see him wickedly sucking her essence off his fingers, his brows shamelessly dancing in a rapscallion fashion across his forehead.

“Are you sure I cannot tempt you to stay and return the favor?” he asked before leaning in and capturing her mouth, forcing her to taste herself on his tongue. She wished for nothing more than to be able to do just that. Wished their circumstances were different so she could replace the tang currently flavoring her mouth with the brine of his release as they spent their leisure in his bed without fear of being caught.

“You know I cannot,” she reminded him, pushing against his chest so she could sit up. “I have allowed you to distract me for too long as it is.”

“And is that all I am?” he inquired lightly, placing a kiss at her shoulder before she reached down to snatch her nightgown off the floor. “A distraction?”

Emma stood and slipped the shift over her head, freeing her hair from the collar while looking about for her robe as she quipped, “Seeing as that is all I am to you, would it be fair if you were more than that?”

Killian’s abrupt movement startled her as he left the bed and took her face in his hands. His earnest and slightly wounded expression pinched at his brows and shone from his forget-me-not eyes as he imparted, “You are so much more than a mere distraction, my love. Surely you know that.”

Emma’s breath stuttered and her heart pounded against her ribs. “What are you saying?”

“Emma,” he exhaled. His expression softened, and Emma shook her head against the confession she could see forming on his lips.

“No,” she begged, tears slipping past her lashes though she had tried to contain them by clamping her eyes shut. “Please. Don’t.”

His thumbs brushed away her tears, and her heart broke when the words she had desperately hoped he would never say - even as she had longed to hear them - escaped his lips. “You are not a distraction, Emma. I love you.”

Emma shoved him away and balled her hands at her sides in anguish as much as in anger. “Don’t,” she repeated on a pitiful sob. “Don’t be so cruel.”

“Cruel?” Killian replied, incredulously. “How could my loving you be cruel?”

Emma’s mouth fell open and her brows were drawn together by the confounding words he had just spoken. “How could it not be when there is no hope of a future for us?” she pointedly asked. “Or do you intend to keep me around as your mistress even after you wed someday? Fucking me during those nights you are not actively trying for an heir with your wife?”

Killian’s face hardened. “I will not hear such talk from your lips.”

“Well, you must hear it from someone’s,” she challenged. “Because what you speak of is folly, and we both know it. No amount of love between us will ever change the fact that you are heir to an earldom, while I will never be more than a servant to your class.”

The muscle above his jaw flickered, and Killian dipped his head as his eyes fell shut in defeat. “Aye, love. I know.” Raising his head once more, he looked upon her with despair, and said, “But I cannot deny what I feel, and I would not have you think you were some passing fancy when I know the risk you take each night to come to me. I do not want you to think I take that - you - for granted.”

Stepping forward, he took her hands into his then brought them up to rest against his chest. “I know what we have cannot last indefinitely, but when the time comes that we must part ways, I do not want to regret even a moment spent with you. Can we… can we not simply enjoy one another during the time we have together? Even if you can not bring yourself to love me because you must safeguard your heart, can you not accept my love whilst I am free to give it?”

A fresh swell of tears stung Emma’s eyes as they flickered back and forth between his. “Do you really think my heart does not already belong to you?” she said. “You have claimed every part of me, Killian. I belong to you in a way you can never belong to me.”

“I do belong to you, love,” he insisted. “We shall always belong to one another.”

“No,” she responded, the word hitching painfully in her throat. “We won’t. But..” She paused and tried to offer him a small smile, even though there was no hope of keeping her sadness from marring it. “We have each other for now, and… I suppose that will have to be enough.”

Matching her melancholy smile, Killian leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers, brushing the tip of her nose with his own before lifting his lips and placing them over the crease of her brow. “Will I see you later?”

“I’m certain you will,” she replied, pulling away and donning her robe as he pulled the sheet from his bed to wrap around his waist so he could check the hallway and ensure no one was lingering about.

Before she could whisk past him, holding onto her emotions by a quickly fraying thread, Killian grasped her by the back of the neck and moulded his mouth to hers, taking one last long drink from her lips.

“I love you,” he whispered in a breath of desperation, and Emma was powerless to resist her reciprocation.

“I love you, too.”

His mouth claimed hers once more, both of them groaning in response to the passion building between them. Her hands sought purchase over his skin, bare and warm and eager under her touch as it rose in ripples beneath her fingertips. His hand tangled in her hair, then kneaded the back of her neck while his other fisted the fabric of her robe. Somewhere in a not so distant corridor, the sound of a door opening broke them apart.

Emma braced her hand against Killian’s chest, his breathing as labored as her own while his heart raced beneath her palm, and insisted once more, “I must go,” before hurrying off towards the servant’s stairs at the far end of the hall. She managed to make it back to her bed with only a few minutes to spare before the housekeeper, Mrs. Lucas, arrived, issuing her and her roommate’s wake-up call.

Ashley, her roommate and fellow chambermaid, told her to make use of the facilities first as she snuggled further into her blankets, never one to rise until absolutely necessary. Emma sat up and suppressed a laugh but when she stood, all mirth left her. Clamping her hand over her mouth, she rushed to the chamber pot in the next room, retching several times before the swell of sickness finally dissipated.

“Emma?” Ashley called out, appearing in the doorway a moment later. “Are you ill? Should I go fetch Mrs. Lucas?”

“No!” Emma exclaimed in a panic while attempting to take steadying breaths. “I mean, no,” she answered in a more controlled tone. “There is no need to trouble Mrs. Lucas. Whatever it was seems to have passed. I’m sure I will be able to see to my duties.”

Ashley nodded, but her face could not conceal her dubious concern. For the rest of the morning, Emma did everything within her power to appear as fit and healthy as usual under the watchful eye of her roommate. The strain of fighting off the unpredictable bouts of nausea, in addition to the oppressive fatigue, had her begging off lunch in favor of a quick lie down. However, such an indulgence was not to be. For one, she had forgotten it was laundry day for the staff’s linens, and found her bed stripped bare when she arrived back at her room. For another, her shoulders had only just slumped in that realization when one of the other maids appeared with a summons.

She was to present herself before Lady Jones at once.

Anxiety churned in her gut alongside the queasiness she had been combating all morning. In the eight months she had worked at Swansdown, she had never had an audience with the lady of the house. In fact, she rarely saw the woman. All Emma really knew of Lady Jones was that she was the earl’s second wife; his first, Killian’s mother, having died from fever when her sons were still quite young. Feeling his boys were in need of a mothering influence, Lord Brennan Jones had married newly widowed Cora Mills, who had a young child of her own, Regina, who was not quite a decade younger than Killian.

Emma jumped when the doors to the sitting room swung open, ushering in Lady Jones’ presence, but she managed to offer her mistress a dutiful courtesy and greeting nonetheless. Before she could return her gaze to the lady of the house, a rumpled up bedsheet was tossed at her feet, and Emma’s heart leapt into her throat before free falling towards her stomach.

“Mrs. Lucas informs me you have not yet bled this month, and that your roommate reported you ill this morning,” the woman stated in a cold and menacingly civil tone. “It has also come to my attention that you have been spending time with my stepson, in his chambers, at all hours of the night. You were even seen leaving his room this very morning.” Icy fingers gripped Emma’s chin and wrenched her head upward. “Look at me when I am speaking to you, girl,” Lady Jones admonished harshly.

Emma swallowed past the lump of dread stuck in her throat and mumbled her apologies.

Stiffening her regal posture further, Lady Jones looked down her nose, which was scrunched in disgust, and stated, “Given this information, I can come to no other conclusion than you are with child. Do you wish to deny it?”

Emma knew she could not. Though she had tried, all of the evidence had presented itself over the past few weeks. The fatigue that plagued her work, the soreness in her breasts whenever Killian kneaded them in his hands, the lateness of her monthly flow, and the sickness she currently felt might overtake her. No. She could not deny it, and her prolonged silence only solidified her guilt to her mistress.

“You foolish, revolting, reckless little slut!” Lady Jones spat. “Have you any idea what you have done? The potential scandal you have caused? I will not see this family fall into ruin because you could not manage the simple task of keeping your legs closed in my stepson’s presence.”

Crescent shaped divots were embedded into her palms as Emma clenched her fists tightly, bearing the brunt of Lady Jones’ tirade with as much poise as she could muster.

“Killian shall be the Earl of Hookshire one day,” Lady Jones reminded her. “He will be expected to take a wife of a suitable station, and with any luck, one that will elevate us all to a new level of status. If not he, then my Regina. Rumors of an illegitimate child, with a maid no less, will sully our good name, bringing shame and notoriety down upon our heads. I will not see their futures tarnished. No one must ever know about that… that bastard you carry, do you understand me?”

Trembling with anger, shame, and despair, Emma nodded. Tears crested and spilled down her cheeks and her sobs could no longer be restrained. The last thing she had ever wanted to do was hurt Killian or his family name.

“Oh, do pull yourself together, girl,” Lady Jones said with a heavy note of disdain. “Tears will do you no good now.”

“I’m s-sorry,” Emma stammered, attempting to regain her composure.

“A bit late for that now as well, don’t you think?”

Again, Emma nodded, wiping away her tears with her sleeve. “What happens now, My Lady?”

Lady Jones gave her one more withering look of disapproval, then made her way to one of the side tables and pulled open the drawer.

“You have a choice to make,” she said, which surprised Emma.

Given the severity of her infraction, Emma did not think she would have any choices whatsoever. She expected to be turned out with nothing more than a red letter forever staining her reputation with no means to care for herself or her child.

Lady Jones stood before her once more with an envelope clutched in her hand. “You can choose to leave quietly, telling no one, and I mean no one,” she pointedly added, “about your condition, which will earn you a severance and a departure without a single besmirch upon your character uttered from this household, or… you can leave in disgrace, with nothing. Destitute and ruined, condemned to raise your brat in squalor.”

“Killian would never withhold his support--”

“Killian is not yet the head of this family,” she reminded sharply. “He does not oversee the finances, nor does he have the authority to establish any sort of long term support you seem to think you are entitled to. How will you manage until the title passes to him? Do you really think when that time comes he will even bother with you or a child he can never claim? He will have want of a legitimate heir from a proper wife. He will have no need or want of you. I dare say, once you are gone, he will not even miss you as soon as the next harlot takes your place in his bed.”

Emma knew none of that was true. Killian would never abandon her, would never abandon his child. He would find a way to support them both until he inherited his father’s title and all the wealth and privilege that came with it. Emma did not doubt that for a moment.

However, it was not doubt that had her considering Lady Jones’ first offer. It was the certainty Emma knew they could never overcome.

In the afterglow of their lovemaking, she and Killian had spent many hours weaving a fairytale-like ending for themselves they both knew could never be. Perhaps, if his elder brother had not died, leaving Killian to inherit the title once his father passed on, things could have been different. All too soon, however, Killian’s ailing father would succumb to the illness that had plagued him for years, and Killian would have the responsibility of not only the title, but the lands and future wellbeing of his step-mother and sister to consider. Could she really add to those burdens? Burden him further, when being forced apart from one another would be burden enough?

She knew what she and Killian had together could not last, they had both admitted as much to one another that very morning. While it had been only her life she gambled with during the course of their affair, she had determined that being with him was a risk she’d been willing to take. But now… she had her own responsibility to think of. As much as it pained her to leave without any explanation, without any sort of goodbye, or any opportunity to hold the man she loved one last time, Emma knew she had to make the decision that would give her, her child, and her child’s father their best chance.

“I shall gather my things and be ready to depart within the hour. Without word. To anyone.”

A spurious smile strained Lady Jones’ lips as she handed over the envelope containing Emma’s severance. “A wise decision, my girl.”

~/~

After handing his stallion off to the groom so he could be tended to, Killian stripped off his riding gloves and tossed them into his hat as he made his way through the front entry of Swansdown. Handing off his riding accessories to the footman station in the foyer, he proceeded up the stairs towards his room, when he was stalled by Granny - at least that was how Killian still referred to their housekeeper, Mrs. Lucas, who had been in the family’s employ since he was a small child.

“I trust you had a pleasant ride, Master Jones” she said by way of greeting.

“Pleasant enough,” he replied. “Was there something you needed, Granny?”

“Yes, I…”

Killian’s brows pinched together and he stepped back down a few treads. He had never seen the typically stalwart and stern woman so visibly troubled.

“Granny?”

Clearing her throat, she schooled her features and straightened her posture, projecting the no nonsense authority he had come to expect from her while operating in her official capacity.

“I regret to inform you, Sir, your room is still being tended to. The house has fallen behind schedule today.”

Killian cocked his head and threw the woman a lop-sided smile. “It is no trouble,” he assured her, stifling the chuckle working its way from his chest at the way such simple things as a delay in schedule could throw the servants into a tizzy. “Rest assured the maids will not be in my way as they finish their task, and I shall refrain from being in theirs.”

Looking as though she might have something further she wished to say, Granny stood at the bottom of the stairs for a beat longer before finally bowing her head in acknowledgement and retreating back towards the kitchens. Shaking his head at the woman’s strange behaviour, Killian turned and took the steps two at a time, his pace hurried by the prospect of catching Emma while she and her partner tidied his room. He knew they would not be able to share more than civil pleasantries with the other maid present, but he did not care. Ever since their confessions that morning, Killian had longed to set eyes upon her again, hoping he might be able to detect the love he’d seen shining in her viridian gaze earlier. Desperate to see his own feelings reflected back at him, illuminated by more than the dying embers of his fire.

Drawing in a deep breath, Killian reined in his enthusiasm and set his features before striding into his bed chamber. Emma’s cleaning partner and roommate - Ashley, he believed her name to be - startled for a moment, then curtsied.

“B-Beggin’ your pardon, Sir,” she stammered. “I’ll only be a moment more.”

“Take your time.” He waved her off, his eyes casting about for his Emma, who, curiously, was nowhere to be found. “Mrs. Lucas informed me things were a bit off schedule today. Is that why you are alone? Are you and your partner dividing and conquering your list of duties this afternoon?”

“No, Sir,” the young maid replied. “My partner, Emma… she is… well, she is gone, Sir.”

“Gone?” he asked, fighting to control the panic rising up within him lest it bleed into his tone or expression. “What do you mean, gone? Where did she go? When will she return?”

“I do not…”

Ashley’s words trailed off as she wrestled with how to respond. Torn between answering direct questions from a member of the family, and knowing it was not her place to provide him with the information he sought.

“Forgive me,” he said. “I should not have… I will leave you to your work.”

Exiting his room, Killian rushed down the back stairs that led to the lower level of the estate; a floor usually reserved for the servants and their tasks. Gasps and frenzied movements erupted around him as he made his way down the long corridor to the Housekeeper’s office.

This must have been what Granny had been reluctant to tell him, Killian realized. Somehow the old girl had come to suspect his relationship with Emma. Had she dismissed her out of hand? Sent her away before the rest of the staff became privy to the gossip? Or worse, his stepmother?

Killian did not give her the courtesy of knocking before he barrelled through her door, slamming it closed behind him.

“This was not my doing,” Granny stated, obviously having expected his visit once he learned Emma was gone. “She left of her own accord.”

“Why?” Killian clipped out angrily, not believing for a moment she would have done such a thing. “What reason did she give?”

“She gave no reason,” Granny told him, her tone even and detached. “Simply turned in her notice, collected her wages, and left.”

“When?” Killian demanded. “How long ago?”

“About an hour.”

Killian did not wait to hear the woman out as she called after him. Sprinting to the stables, Killian ordered that his horse be readied, much to the grooms’ dismay since they had just finished cooling the animal down.

“Perhaps, you would be willing to take one of the carriage horses, Sir?” one of the stable hands offered. Unfortunately, that was not an option, as one of the grooms reported, seeing as the carriage was currently in use.

Killian could only assume his stepmother had gone out, taking the carriage and only other available horses with her, and insisted his horse be saddled, promising to go easy on the poor creature who had already been put through his paces that afternoon. Killian’s hands and jaw clenched with impatience until they finally presented him with his horse. Wasting no time, Killian mounted his trusty Jolly and set off towards the village, certain Emma couldn’t have gotten far and that the staging post in town was her likely destination.

Keeping a weathered eye on the roadside, in case she had stopped to rest along the way, Killian pressed Jolly as hard as he felt reasonable. When they entered the village, Killian questioned whether Granny had been altogether truthful with him. Surely she could not have made it all this way on foot if she had departed when the housekeeper claimed she had.

Arriving at the staging post, Killian dismounted and threw his reins to one of the attendants, muttering he’d be only a moment before searching the crowd of milling people waiting for the next line of public coaches. When he caught a flash of sunshine hair, he pushed his way through the throng, calling out her name.

“Emma! Emma, my love, wait!”

Grasping her by the elbow, he spun her around then immediately released the frightened young woman who was most certainly not his Emma.

“Hey!” a gruff voice growled before a hand roughly shoved him back. “Who do you think you are?”

“My apologies,” Killian panted, winded from his ride and the adrenaline pumping through his veins. “I… I was mistaken,” he explained. “I thought… My sincerest apologies,” he said again, backing away from the murmuring crowd.

Ignoring the sideways glances and scandalized whispers, Killian continued to call out Emma’s name while making his way through the crowd. Growing more desperate by the moment, he failed to notice the tear stained face, silhouetted behind the sheers of a coach making its way past him when he grabbed Jolly’s reins back from the attendant and rode off back towards the estate, convinced he must have missed her in passing.

~/~

Killian sighed and rolled to his other side, punching the pillow that had lost all trace of Emma’s scent since she had last rested her head against it little more than a week ago. Ten days, to be exact. Ten days of questioning, searching, longing for the woman who had vanished without a trace. Ten days spent running down every possible lead, turning over every stone, and clinging to every bit of hope he could muster.

He and Jolly had traversed the road leading from the estate to the village and back again too many times for him to keep count. He had even gone so far as to visit the orphanage Emma had told him she’d grown up in after her parents had died, wondering if she may have gone there to seek counsel from the nuns who had raised her. Unfortunately, according to the sisters, they had not seen nor heard from Emma Nolan-Blanchard in many years, but had promised to notify him should she make contact with them in the future. Killian had done everything he knew to do, and now that there was no further action to be taken, he was left alone with the question he had pushed aside for days.

Why?

Why had she left her post, her livelihood… him?

During the long hours of the night with nothing but strong spirits swirling in his glass to help him combat the even stronger loneliness plaguing his heart, Killian had come up with only one conclusion.

She had left because of what he had confessed to her that final morning they were together.

Despite her reciprocations of the same, Killian had obviously scared her away with his declarations. He had told her he loved her, and it proved to be too much for her. Perhaps she had felt it better to leave now, attempt to mitigate the inevitable heartbreak that was sure to come when duty required he take a wife and produce an heir. He knew there were only two options for them: go their separate ways in misery, or remain together through an arrangement that would keep her close at hand as his mistress, wanting for nothing but forced to share him. Neither of them had ever wanted the latter, so it seemed she had taken matters into her own hands and chose the former on her own terms.

He supposed he should be grateful that she had been the braver of them, knowing he would not be willing to let her go until the last possible moment. Indeed, he was willing to put off marriage indefinitely if it meant having Emma in his life, but one of them had to be practical.

Damn her for being the sensible one.

Damn her for leaving him without so much as a note of explanation. Without giving him a chance to calm her fears and change her mind. Of course, that’s why she had left the way she had. How often had she cursed him for being the persuasive scoundrel he was?

I prefer dashing rapscallion, darling.

A light, amused huff passed over his lips as recollections and memories flooded his mind. Dalliances in dark corners, stolen kisses beneath the stairs, glances that held promises of later flicked to one another when they crossed paths. Later, here in his bed with Emma splayed over his sheets, back arching off his bed or her body writhing beneath his. A moan caught in the back of his throat, desire and dejection at war with each other as he fought to dispel the images flashing behind his eyelids even as his hand crept down his body.

It wasn’t the same. Nothing and no one ever would be. Yet, night after night, Killian could not stop the torment of recalling the softness of her skin, the scent of her hair, the lusciousness between her thighs, and the way his name sounded on those moans that drove him wild while taking himself in hand. His completion never held any merit of satisfaction, though. For all too soon, those lovely thoughts of her would fade and he would be reminded she was gone.

All he could hope for now was that, in time, thoughts of her would fade altogether.

~/~

A screeching sound like that of a banshee woke Killian, and a light blinded him even though his eyes were still closed.

“Oh, good. You’re up,” his stepmother, Cora, scolded, not even attempting to temper her disapproval.

“Bloody hell, Cora,” Killian groaned. His head was pounding and his mouth felt as though it were full of cotton. Blinking past the excruciating late morning sun streaming in through the windows, he grit his teeth against the scraping noise squealing in his ears as she pulled the final curtain back over the metal rod, flooding his room with unwelcome light. “I told my man not to wake me,” he groused. “I was out late.”

“I know,” she snapped back.

When she wrenched the covers off his bed, he scrambled to keep a corner of them to cover himself. He had been too drunk to bother putting his night clothes on once he had managed to get undressed in the wee hours of the morning. The action only exacerbated his misery, however.

“If you wish to spice things up by entering into a scandal, surely you can come up with something less cliche than attempting to seduce your stepson,” he quipped with a fair amount of sass, not even bothering to hide himself from her indifferent gaze.

“Do not flatter yourself,” Cora sniped back, tossing the robe his valet had laid out the night before at him. “Your pretty face may have women of all ages and stations swooning at your feet, but I have never been swayed by the superficial.”

“Of course not, Mother,” Killian fired back. “You prefer depth in your men. Especially in regards to their pockets.”

Her features twisted in anger and resentment before she schooled them and carried on with her purpose for intruding on his hangover in the first place.

“This has gone on long enough,” she stated firmly. “The drinking, whoring, and gambling until all hours of the night, coming home drunk and disorderly, sleeping the day away… what sort of example do you think you are setting for your sister? To say nothing of the potential damage your behaviour could cause this family.” Making her way back towards the door, she took her eyes off of him for the first time since she began her dressing down, and said, “I do not know what has caused this appalling change, but it has gone on for weeks now.” Facing him once more, her lips pursed together tightly and her brow lifted as she laid down her ultimatum. “Unless you take strides to regain your senses, or at the very least apply some discretion to your escapades, I will have no choice but to inform your father, and we both know such news would do nothing to ease his current condition.”

Point made, she spun around and slipped out the door, being sure to give it a good tug so it slammed behind her and concussed through Killian’s skull. Falling back onto his mattress, Killian covered his eyes with his forearm and let out a pained groan.

He hated it when his stepmother was right.

For weeks he had tried to banish Emma from his mind by filling his nights with drink and games. Despite Cora’s assumptions, he could not bring himself to even look upon another woman, even though his mates all insisted it was the very thing he needed. None of them knew about Emma specifically, of course, but heartsickness was an illness not easily disguised, and many of his friends had recognized the symptoms immediately. However, none of the other remedies they’d suggested had worked thus far, and it would not do to burden his father while he was suffering from one of his episodes.

Gingerly, Killian sat back up and pulled the cord beside his bed, signalling his need for his valet. Besides taking comfort in another woman’s embrace, which he was not yet prepared to do, there was only one remaining recourse for him should he ever hope to heal from the longing ache Emma’s absence had left within his heart.

“You rang, Sir?” Killian’s valet said upon entering.

“Yes,” Killian replied, tying together the edges of his robe. “I need to dress for an audience with my father, and then… I need you to pack my trunk.”

~/~

Lord Brennan Jones had always been a giant of a man in Killian’s eyes. Being the second born son, Killian had spent less time with his father than Liam had, therefore the man had always inhabited a pedestal within Killian’s mind where he projected an aura of might and invincibility about him. By the time his older brother had been lost at sea, however, Killian’s father had begun to deteriorate from the illness that confounded every doctor whose expertise the family had sought.

Called back to Swansdown from his studies at university, Killian had found himself treading unfamiliar waters as he came to grips with his brother’s death, his sudden elevation in status, and his father’s mortality, all threatening to drown him under the weight of unyielding grief and oppressive expectation. He had never resented his father for neglecting to pay him much attention as a child. That was simply how things were done in their sphere of influence. Something Killian had learned to accept - and even be grateful for - early on when he was allowed to end his lessons while Liam had to continue on with matters he would need to be proficient in as the future earl.

After dealing with the matter of Liam’s funeral and getting up to speed on the family’s interests, and his role in them as the new heir, Killian had returned to university to finish his degree. If he had thought the frivolity and debauchery in which the second and third borns embroiled themselves was a sight to be seen, it paled in comparison to the future titled gentlemen who knew their days of freedom and depravity were numbered. Killian had found himself welcomed into a new social circle, befriended by gentlemen who were destined to socially ascend even as they found themselves willingly descending morally until they were known as rakes, rogues, and scoundrels.

It was one such reprobate’s untoward actions that had changed Killian’s life forever. Hearing the scuffle from one of the hallways of his country home, Killian had opened the door to one of the storage rooms to find his drunken mate pawing at the new house maid. Killian had grabbed the man by the collar, wrenching him away from the poor lass, and had told her to go before anyone else came along. Later, he had sought the beauty out in order to apologize for his friend’s actions and to assure her of his discretion.

Emma had given him a tongue lashing, the likes of which he had never received, and in no uncertain terms had suggested, quite strongly, that he find himself better friends before brushing past him, without leave.

He had been a goner from the start.

After Liam’s death, everyone had treated Killian differently. His former friends, the staff, even his own family, all applied a reverence and formality to their interactions with him while his new crew, men who had previously disregarded him, suddenly fawned over his attentions. While in public, Emma also had to treat him with the deference of his position; in private, however - once there had become a private between them, anyway - Emma had never treated him as anything but Killian. Her Killian. Just Killian.

Would he ever be just Killian again?

Entering his father’s room, Killian steeled himself for what awaited him beyond the drawn curtains of the bed. Ever since he first fell ill, Brennan would experience episodes that would leave him bedridden for days or even weeks at a time. In the beginning, these episodes occurred once, maybe twice a year, but had grown in frequency and duration as of late. It pained Killian to see his once proud and virile father lying prone, weakened by the debilitating ailment that would some day soon claim his life.

Clearing his throat to alert his father of his presence, Killian stood by the edge of the bed and waited for the man’s acknowledgement. Brennan’s eyes slowly opened, blinking away the vestiges of his nap, and his head turned towards Killian, a smile weakly tugging at his lips.

“Killian, my boy,” he croaked. “It has been too long since you last came to see me.”

“Aye, Father. Forgive me,” Killian said, keeping his voice low. “I have been remiss.”

“That is not the only thing you have been of late,” his father teased with a knowing smirk. “Or so I hear.”

Rolling his eyes, Killian sighed. “Cora told you about--”

“Cora told me nothing,” he corrected. “I still hear things. I still stay apprised of the goings on regarding my family and their… activities. Seems you’ve been rather adventurous with your allowance and your liver this past month. If I did not know any better, I would say something is amiss?”

Reaching up, Killian scratched behind his ear, an old habit he had never been able to rid himself of, and one Emma had found endearing. Swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat, Killian took a deep breath and said, “Aye, Father. That’s what I’ve come to discuss with you. I recently lost… that is, a few weeks ago I…” Struggling to maintain his composure, Killian finally managed to blurt out. “I must go abroad, Father. I must leave Swansdown.”

“Leave?” his father replied. “Why must you leave?”

All the strength Killian had mustered in order to hold his pain at bay failed him in that moment. Dropping to his knees beside his father’s bed, he buried his face in its side and sobbed, “Because she is gone. She’s gone and she’s never coming back. And even if she did, we can never…”

With silent comfort and the soft stroke of his hand over Killian’s hair, his father let him pour out all the pent up emotion he had tried so hard to bury deep within himself. Anguish and hopelessness, longing and anger, resentment and love released themselves through tears that flowed from his eyes as unhindered cries from the depths of his forlorn soul were muffled by the edge of the blankets.

When his torments were at last spent, Killian pulled away and turned his head aside in embarrassment, wiping the remnants of his sorrow from his cheeks as his chest hitched with shuddering breaths.

“Forgive me,” he said, still not able to look up at his father. “I do not know what came over me.”

“Aye, you do,” his father replied with a sad tone of commiseration. “As do I.”

“You do?”

Reaching over, Brennan placed a hand on Killian’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “Aye. My heart was ravaged in much the same way when I lost your mother.”

Fresh tears swelled in Killian’s eyes.

“I understand now why you must leave, son,” Brennan continued. “I know not who the woman was, but given the years we have spent here at Swansdown, I can only surmise she was a local girl.” His father’s gaze changed, as though he were peering into a faraway time. “After your mother died, I could not stand to stay in our home in the city. Her ghost was at every turn, reminders of her around each corner. Staying there would have driven me mad with grief, so I relocated us here.” His vision came back into focus and he set his eyes upon Killian again. “Where not long after, I met your stepmother.” A wry smile pulled at his lips. “Though, you and your brother were none too pleased, about the move nor the additions to our family.”

Killian chuckled lightly at the memory of the tantrum he and Liam had thrown when his father had announced his engagement, then a question he had never considered asking before formed on his tongue.

“Do you love her?”

Brennan mulled the question for a moment. “That is not the question you wish to ask,” he said, knowingly. “What you really wish to know is whether I was capable of loving someone else after your mother.”

Killian swallowed hard and waited for his father’s answer.

“You are young, my son. You will find love again,” his father assured him. “Though, it will not be the same. Love never is.”

His father’s response solidified that which Killian already knew to be true; he would always love his Emma. No amount of time or distance would ever change the way he felt, and yet…

“You should go abroad, my son,” his father said. “Travel to other lands and see the world... while you still have the chance.”

Killian nodded as he stood, taking his father's hand and promising, “I shall send word from wherever I go, so I can be reached when… when my presence is required back home.”

“I know you will,” Brennan responded with an affectionate squeeze to his hand. “And when the time comes, I know you will step up and perform your duties with an excellence befitting of the Jones name.”

After saying his goodbyes to his father, stepmother, and stepsister, Killian stood in his bedroom one final time. His eyes took in the room around him while he allowed the memories it held to wash over him. Emma, wrapped in his arms whilst seated on his lap as they warmed themselves in front of the fire. Emma, standing at the foot of his bed, completely bare before him for the first time. Emma, snuggled beneath the covers, having fallen asleep as she waited for him to return from an evening obligation. Emma, beneath him, above him, on her knees in front of him, bent over his dressing table, stretched out over his bed. Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes glittered and her nose scrunched up when she was amused. Her stubbornness, refusing to back down when she knew she was right. Her walls, crumbling under the careful dismantling she had allowed him to apply, brick by vulnerable brick.

“Shall I take the rest of your things down to the carriage, Sir?”

“Aye, thank you,” he said to his valet, securing the buckle on the satchel he would be keeping on his person while he traveled.

Making his way out the door, Killian paused at the threshold and pressed his fingers to his lips. This had been the spot where they had shared their last kiss, where he had last held her in his arms. If he had known then it would be the last time he would ever see her, he would not have let her go.

But he had, and now… he must do so again.

~/~

Five Years Later…

Part Two ​

[inkykeiji]

hello, bby💞💞 i absolutely ADORE everything u write, ur insanely talented!! I wanted to ask, you’ve mentioned several pieces of art, precisely songs and films, that have inspired ur work; could u give us some music and movie recommendations that have similar vibe to some of ur fics??? Thank u in advance, I hope u have an incredible day/evening, lysm💓💞💖

THIS QUESTION OOOOOOOH YES ANON YES okay okay first of all, thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot <333 YES i love film so much hehehe <3 my music recommendations are pretty much the same as they always are. the films i’m recommending here; i’m not exactly sure if they have a similar vibe to my fics as i’ve found it difficult to find many films that fit that criteria, but here’s a nice huge list of films that have influenced my main series’, and how!!

beware!! very long post under the cut hehehe AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR BMB IF YOU KNOW THE FILMS HEHEHEHEHE

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

the godfather, part 1 + part 2

AAAAAAAAH okay, literally one of my favourite films of all time, the godfather (+ the godfather pt 2) is a fucking masterpiece. tomura’s close relationship with his father was both inspired by bnha itself as well as michael corleone’s relationship with his father, vito. michael is the golden child even though he’s the youngest, and i love love love how cold and ruthless he can be!!! he’s also super smart.

goodfellas

listen. if henry hill from goodfellas and michael corleone from the godfather had a baby, it would be tomura. he’s slightly more henry than he is michael, but his characterization pulls from both of these characters!! henry is fun, he’s reckless, he’s young, he feels like a god and he loves cocaine. henry also becomes very paranoid, a path with tomura is currently speeding down (albeit much more intensely, with legitimate mental health issues, but you get it). i also love the subtle ‘mafia princess’ trope goodfellas has going on with henry’s wife, karen (that scene where she says she’s going shopping and asks him for money, and he takes out that massive wad of cash?????? brilliant, one of my faves hehehe). henry also has some difficulty dealing with his emotions!!

narcos season 1 + 2

k, i can’t say too much about how this incredible show inspired bmb; i kind of feel like listing it is already giving away too much hehehe BUT i love the pure POWER pablo exudes, and i love his relationship with his wife and how family oriented he is.

scarface (both the original 1932 version and the 1983 version)

WOOOOOOOOOO OKAY. for the 1983 film: cocaine my friends. cocaine and violence and toxic relationships!!!!!!!  i kind of love elvira hancock more than anything else; she’s so glamorous and fun and just aaaaah she’s definitely not as ‘baby’ or ‘good girl’ as bmb!reader is, but her sheer class and cute dresses and just how SPOILED she is reminds me a lot of bmb! for both 1932 + 1983: tony’s relationship with his sister, gina (which tbh borders on incest). gina’s another one of those ‘mafia princess’ types, and tony is extremely overprotective of her and spoils her like mad, too. she’s also fits that ‘good girl’ archetype a lot more!!

reservoir dogs

purely the violence. the violence the violence the violence, the crude and crass way the men talk to each other, and the fact that they’re like a lil organized crime group put together by a boss. i am IN LOVE (IN LOVEEEEEEEE) with mr blonde (aka vic vega <333). mr blonde’s extreme sadism reminds me quite a bit of both dabi and tomura, and he’s even referenced in the lil torture piece i wrote!! also, you literally cannot tell me that vic wouldn’t spoil the absolute HELL out of his good lil princess if he had one <3

(not a film, but!!!!!) hamlet

break my bones is very very very loosely based on hamlet (which is my favourite story of all time. literally. i love hamlet so much i can’t even put it into words); with tomura as hamlet, dabi as a mixture of horatio and laertes, and reader as ophelia. hamlet, my precious baby, is a spoiled fucking brat, who loved his father and was loved by his father. he’s also very intelligent, but falls prey to his indecisiveness and his inability to make decisions, in addition to the rapid decay of his mental health. that’s all i’ll say hehehe

baby driver

the relationship between baby + debora reminds me of the relationship between dabi and reader a lot <333 i also just love the aesthetic of this film, and the undercurrents of organized crime!!

the shining

just a teeny tiny bit; i cannot say anything about this or i think it’ll give something away!!!!!

burning

trios!!!!! trios!!!!!!!!!!!!and the relationship dynamic between jong-su, hae-mi and ben??????? absolutely incredible and reminds me quite a bit of the dynamic between tomura, dabi + reader!!

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐀𝐔 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞) + 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚-𝐧𝐢𝐢

i’m grouping these two together, because a lot of their influences overlap in terms of dabi + reader’s relationship!!! (i’m pretty sure we can all agree that touya-nii is so fucking Daddy, too <3)

true romance

i fucking love this movie, so so so much. i’d go as far to say that clarence and alabama’s relationship has without a doubt inspired or influenced every single romantic relationship i’ve written in at least some way, shape, or form. i LOVE them. i love their co-dependency on each other, i love their whole ‘it’s you and me against the world’ vibe, and i love how far they’re willing to go for each other. also, again, organized crime (no surprise), and alabama is just the cutest fucking thing i swear to god. that scene of her + virgil in the hotel room will forever be one of my absolute FAVOURITE scenes in cinematic history. i would die for this woman i love her more than anything. she’s so cute yet so strong, so brave, so IN LOVE, and aaaah that is just one of my favourite characteristics ever ever ever. i love women who are soft and strong at the same time, even if that strength isn’t physical.

sid and nancy

hello to one of the most famous toxic relationships ever!!! honestly, i don’t think i have to explain this one much LMAO. obviously my readers aren’t as hardcore as nancy and almost always fall into the ‘innocent good girl’ category, but their RELATIONSHIP itself reminds me quite a bit of the relationship between touya-nii and his princess <3

bonnie and clyde (1967)

ahahaha yet again, another very toxic, very co-dependent type of love. like clarence and alabama, i love how these two are literally willing to die for each other—they’d go straight to the ends of the earth for one another, no questions asked. this type of love is extremely unhealthy, obviously, but it’s something i am extremely fascinated with and love exploring in my work! also, that whole ‘fuck the world let’s commit crimes together’????? very tag you’re it dabi x reader!!!

pulp fiction

more specifically, the relationship between mia and vincent. the sexual tension there is fucking crazy, and i love how mia is yet again one of those ‘mafia princess’ types. really, this film applies to bmb as well, but i’m putting it here because the way vincent gets so so SO soft for mia reminds me of the way touya-nii and dabi in these two series in particular get soft for their readers. also, to a lesser extent, the relationship between butch and fabienne. i know a lot of people don’t like fabienne and get annoyed with her, but i think she’s just the cutest thing and i heavily relate to her and her babie/crybaby nature <3 and of course, the relationship between pumpkin and honeybunny (for tag you’re it especially!) <33

breathless (a bout de souffle)

there’s just something about michel that reminds me of touya-nii SO much. i think it’s a combination of his attitude as well as his petty life of crime, and the way patricia hides him in her apartment...i don’t know, it’s difficult for me to put into words, but i love him a lot <3

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

the joker + harley quinn: i feel like this is so obvious LMAO but i’m obsessed with the idea of that all consuming voracious love that borders on serious obsession. extremely possessive socio/psychopath and his dumb lil baby????? yes <3 (**i also wanna make a note to say that harley isn’t dumb AT ALL, but J will often insult her in such a way, and sometimes the men who write her portray her as such as well >.> but harley is one of my favourite female characters ever. i LOVE how girly and fun she is while still being extremely strong and (sometimes, depending on the version) independent. she isn’t without flaws, and i love how her mr j is basically her kryptonite <3)

speaking of batman, bruce wayne: what can i say, i just love spoiled rich men who have serious issues dealing with their emotions and walk the line of good and evil <33333

anakin skywalker/darth vader: listen, anakin was seriously slighted by those prequel films. but underneath all of that bad writing, at his core, anakin is a fantastic character. he is SO strongly governed by his emotions and is extremely selfish, and his love for his wife and family is ultimately what leads him down the path to the dark side <3 his emotionally charged motivations remind me a lot of CANON dabi!!!

thelma and louise: i just love their relationship, like, a lot hehehe. their relationship and the ending of this film reminds me a lot of my snowman & me; just yet again that whole ‘it’s you and me or it’s death’ type thing.

the darjeeling limited: it should be obvious at this point that i love trios, and i love complex characters and the relationships that come along with them. the relationship between the whitman brothers, the dysfunctional family, the truama and sadness...i love it all. this film is absolutely beautiful and really doesn’t connect much to my work other than the character dynamics, but i love it so dearly.

mad men: again, those misogynistic toxic relationships and the dependency betty has on don for the first few seasons!! also my god, the aesthetic, i am obsessed.

twin peaks: this hasn’t shown up too much in the work i’ve posted on my blog just yet, but i’m head over heels in love with the dreamy unsettling feeling that saturates this entire series, as well as the drugs and crime. also dale is my baby, protect him with everything <3

blade runner (both films): for city aesthetic

suckerpunch: an absolutely awful film but also one of my guilty pleasures, purely because i love babydoll so so so so so much <33 again, more for aesthetic than story.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

honestly, my music recommendations are exactly the same as they are in this post right here. lana del rey, lil peep, chase atlantic + the neighbourhood are the four that i’d say influence my work the most tho, and have the most similar vibe to my stuff!! also, nicole dollanganger is an incredible artist and lyricist, and i’ve been told more than once that my work and her work are quite similar (which i agree!!!). her stuff is hauntingly beautiful, but i have a lot of difficulty listening to it because it hits a little too close to home and makes me cry literally every single time. so please be wary of that, i’m giving a general trigger warning for her because she can get quite dark. but her work is absolutely fantastic, i highly recommend as long as you feel that you can handle it!!! <33

AAAAAH I KNOW I’M MISSING LIKE A MILLION THINGS I SWEAR but these are the films (and tv shows) + artists that readily come to mind!! thank you again for your question anon, i love stuff like this so much and i love discussing films and art hehehe <33

[petekaos]

2020 creator wrap + a follow forever

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

hiii hello everyone! sorry it’s taken me so long to get on this BUT it’s all for good reason! i thought i would combine this post into me sharing some of the works i am most proud of this year as well as spreading more love in this wonderful little community because i truly love you all tons and being a part of such a lovely group of people has made me beyond happy this year. it’s been a difficult year for all of us and i’m just so glad that i can give back the love and care y’all can give to me 💛

onward to spreading love to people who tagged me, in no particular order! thank you all for tagging me, it means so much and know that i have read through your posts at least twice with a smile on my face.

@wjmild: kylie!! you constantly surprise me with how kind and insightful you are, as well as your dedication to watching absolutely every show with lee thanat in it. you are so smart and educated and every time you talk about your research and your studies i can’t help but feel so incredibly proud of you. i really hope life brings you the peace and fulfillment you deserve. i love you!

@gigiesarocha: cata - it is always such a pleasure to see you on my dash. i can rely on you losing your shit over ingredients every two weeks and every time i see jeff doing things it 100% reminds me of you! you possess such a kind soul and i’m so glad to have had the pleasure of following you this year :’)

@yihwas: sometimes i still can’t believe you know who i am and that we’re grouped together, soph! your blog is such a refuge to me, i adore scrolling through your replies and laughing at all the witty things you say. you are simply so kind and thoughtful in your responses and criticism and you have such talent in gifmaking! i am forever grateful to you for introducing me to new lakorns and to you and shannon for creating @lakornladies​. 

@morksuns: sumaya! my url twin! i absolutely love seeing you on the dash, it really is that trans desi solidarity, no? your moodboards are always so aesthetic and your blog is so soft and calm. i see you sending such lovely asks to people, including myself, and i truly admire your personality so much!

@gayvlad: nico, my sibling! i love you so much and seeing you on the dash always makes me smile. sometimes you’re too hard on yourself, but that’s okay, because i’m always here for you. i loved your reactions to dbk in live time, and that you’re now as attached to the show as i am. we love a lot of the same things, and i’ll forever be grateful to you for indulging my headcanons and developing them with me, like the ram and bohn friendship. the ram fic of him finding the gym as a home was developed through much of your influence, and i’ll never stop being astonished at how kind and supportive you are. i love you! 

@khaotungthanawat: saaaam! your gifs are always a beauty to behold. i admire you so much for making those bl compilation gifsets because that takes so much patience and dedication, especially to find all the moments. i can always count on you for underrated gifsets, too, and i smile every time you send me an ask!

@tanwirapong: roa! oh i adored getting to know you better this year through the gifted gays gc. i remember still when you made a post about there’s an art to honesty and it truly made my day - i sent it to my partner and best friend and they were so fond as well! i will always be so happy about the fact that we both lose it over petekao every now and again, it means the world to me :’)

@emisfritish: your wisdom and way of expressing your thoughts will never fail to amaze me, emma. i can always count on you for calling things like they are and writing out well-worded, thought-provoking posts that express everything i have ever thought about fandom but could never quite write down. it’s such a pleasure seeing you on my dash and honestly, whenever i see tay, he reminds me of you!

so that was everyone who tagged me, for which i am eternally grateful! (if i missed anyone... i am so sorry ily...) now onto me rambling about how much i love specific people in the fandom generally that i haven’t already mentioned.

@earthfluuke: maddie... where do i even start. getting to know you this year means the absolute world to me and i love how many thoughts we can share together and how many aus and ideas we can plot out to the finest detail, but i also love how we can talk about serious topics and irl issues affecting us both and know that the other person will be there. i admire you so much for going on and persevering despite the many difficult factors in your life right now. know that i will always be there - to listen to you, to support your gifs and fics, to develop characters with you, to weigh in on problems or ideas you have. i love you!

@asianmelodrama: faiza!! i can never address you without immediately adding ‘jaan’ after it honestly. you are a sister to me in all things and knowing you has been such an honour. your wise words, your calmness in dealing with things, your infectious excitement - they are all facets of your personality that i both admire and adore. whether it’s getting angry about shitty muslim rep or freaking out about a movie, i know that i can always count on you to be there for me if i ever need it. i hope light and love touches your life always, and you find peace in everything you do. if i ever happen to be in england, i am definitely coming over for your chai :’) i love you!

@yioh: yura my laddoo! i say this all the time, but i simply am so grateful that we met. i love seeing your tags on my posts and i just... adore seeing you doing your thing on your blog, your posts always make me smile. i know school is hard right now, but know that i’m always rooting for you and believe in you completely. words cannot express how happy i am to have found another tamil lgbt person who can understand the same experiences, it really does mean everything to me. and know that i will begin reading tyk soon, i promise, and i’ll tell you all about my thoughts! i love youuu!

@1akorn: shannon!! i still cannot believe people group us together because i’ve always admired you from a distance - imagine my absolute surprise when i found out that you followed me! i 100% rely on you for the good mek content and love your gifs so much. you’re so articulate and speak your thoughts incredibly well, which i truly admire.

@brightwin: jelly - you already know the amount of love and fondness i hold for you. you’re such a kind and bubbly person and your personality shines not only through your tags and responses to people, but also through your gorgeous gifsets that are just so warm and lovely. i can always rely on you to give me updates on all things related to brightwin and 2gether. you’re wonderful!

@yibobibo: aamna! i know i can always get my yibo content from you, and i adore it. i love seeing updates about your bunnies and your kind responses to your anons, you truly are a ray of light! you’re also one of the fairly concentrated cql blogs i follow - and for that i am always grateful.

@metawwin: ali! your gorgeous gifs are always such a light on my dash. i remember once you called me ‘rahulito’ and it made me so soft. your voice and songs are so lovely and i don’t even know where to begin thanking you for sharing your art with us. i know it means a lot to me, and it means the same to many others.

@taytawan: nuriaaa! i remember seeing you so often in the petekao tag and i gotta say that your sets of both petekao and sarawatine, especially the heart eyes series, always make me so soft. and of course, the fact that you gifted me this wonderful url! i will always be thankful for that and for your general kindness and warmth that you bestow upon everyone.

@piningbisexuals: axelle! although we don’t talk that much, i always love seeing your gifs and your thoughts on shows on the dash. i’m wishing you all the best with your thai classes and hope that everything goes well with you! also, you should know that i read that manboss fic you gifted to me at least once a week because it just means that much to me - and i’m so glad i got you into this little silly ship of mine. 

@sunsetchimyeon: nene, my pk anon! i love seeing your asks in my inbox and writing essays as replies. having conversations with you was one of my absolute highlights and i’ll always be blown away by how kind and calm and supportive and patient you are! i hope life is treating you well, my friend.

@toptaps: zey!! oh i love seeing your gifs and kindness on my dash and know that whenever i see toptap in anything, he always reminds me of you! also your gifs of sammy? absolutely gorgeous!

@giftedgays: i love you all SO much it is truly insane. being part of our tumblr gc that evolved into a discord server with a thousand channels has been one of my 2020 highlights. i loved yelling with you all about tgg every week and i must thank you all for sitting through my chanonpom breakdowns every second day. 

in particular: 

@pangwave - dawnie, i love you! i admire you and your no bullshit attitude so much. i know you’re going through a process of change right now, and i could not be prouder of you for persevering through it, regardless of the painful and strange circumstances we find ourselves in. i have full faith in you, and i know that you got this. we’re all here for you! 

@doctorbahnjit: - alexa! i still remember when you wrote the first manboss fic and an anon sent me a link regarding it. you are genuinely one of the funniest people i know and you deserve the absolute world. i read out of the blue every day, no kidding, because it means so much to me! thank you for being my fellow chanonpomer, my fellow manboss-er, and just being an all around ray of absolute sunshine.

@gunatps: vee! i have already embarrassed myself enough in my post to you but it’s worth repeating. i adore our eden chanonpom breakdown sessions, which we should have again soon when you have time, and i love us roasting modi in the chat, it truly cracks me up! we have so much in common and i just want to say that i am so proud of you for studying and taking your exams - i know how difficult they are. 

@wavelovespang: cass!! how i adore your analyses and breakdowns of scenes and relationships, you have so much insight and wisdom that you spread in such thoughtful ways! you’re so supportive and kind and such a great teacher, i know that. your writing is so wonderful and i’m truly so honoured that we all get to read it, it’s a gift!

@class2clown: angel! i cannot say this enough but i admire your art so much, it’s so so beautiful! you’ve always been so kind and lovely, and just like with cass, thank you so much for organising the gifted week events! although i couldn’t properly partake this year because of time constraints, i loved seeing everyone’s creations and it was super thoughtful.

@soulmatelines: i’ve said this before, jo, but it must be said again: i cannot believe you thought i was cool. i’ve always adored your gifs from afar and you’re such a sweet person! i love love love talking with you in the kpop channel (even if you personally hate 3racha smh), and you truly do bear the novel agenda! i’ve learned about so many more novels i must read and for that i am so grateful :’) 

@billkinpp: violet, i will never fail to crack up at a) your and kylie’s plans to run away and get married, and b) you having a thousand sideblogs and complimenting yourself on your own gifs in the tags, as you absolutely should! i hope the next year is kind to you and that your sleep schedule isn’t too fucked up :’)

@vihokratanas: mel, i will always be in complete awe of your gifs! they are always so clean and crisp. i remember still when you were fondestphan and my phannie days flashed in front of my eyes fhsnfg but either way, you’re so kind and sweet! 

@pvrrish: eleni!! i don’t think i’ve ever told you this before but i’ve always loved the 2gether poster that you made, i sometimes go on your blog to look at it for like 5 minutes, it’s truly so beautiful! i hope you’ve had an okay year, all things considered, and that life is kind to you!

@lee-thanat: another leesbian, ke! y’all always crack me up in the lesbians for lee thanat channel truly. your simping for ms ladda is so valid, i miss her so much honestly. i hope that the coming year is kind to you, and that you find the peace you deserve!

okay, so i think that’s everyone that i either talk to regularly or admire a lot! in case i didn’t mention you, please please feel free to reach out to me because i mean no offense at all - my brain is small haha. would also like to shout out all my anons who send me asks and bear with my late responses these days because of life, i adore you all and i love answering your asks.

if you’re still reading after this... whole monster of a post, i’m just gonna quickly mention some things i’ve been proud of either writing or making this year. in no particular order:

1. my weary heart has come to rest in yours. this is a fic i wrote in an... interesting headspace, and i was really going through my chanonpom feelings at the time. i’m really proud of how it came out and i adored writing chanon through pom’s pov. also i kinda love how i tied in p’bird’s song prip dtah in with the fic because i adore the song and it fits so well with them.

2. petekao week 2020. i guess this is sort of cheating, because these are technically 7 fics, BUT. i am actually proud of myself for writing seven, and i think they’re all of fairly good quality. i just really love this little universe i created for the dbk characters after the show and this whole week was just so warm and lovely to be a part of.

3. this set of num and prang from a gift for whom you hate. this moment really stuck with me from the finale and i actually am really proud of the colouring and how it came out! i think the blues really popped and i managed to lighten this dark ass scene without whitewashing mek or aye. the fireworks gif also is one of my favourites i’ve made! num and prang’s whole relationship was so pure throughout the entirety of this show, i adored them. 

4. but love is impossible and it goes on despite the impossible. this is the longest fic i’ve posted so far and i���m super proud of it - it’s also my most well-received fic. the yunmeng brothers mean the world to me and i just... wanted to write about jiang cheng and his love for his brother and give them a somewhat happy ending, in one future at least.

5. there’s an art to honesty. i think i really nailed my version of kao in this work! i just really loved writing this fic so much, especially because it was right after the whole ‘scandal’ with new happened. i was really just finding a way to separate kao from him, and i delved into my feelings with this fic as well, because i relate to kao in multiple ways. either way, i thought writing this fic was fun and a lot of people loved it too, which made me so soft!

if you’ve read this far, i personally adore you! while this has been a difficult year, i am blessed to have been part of this loving community, and i really hope that next year will be kinder to us all and give us good shows and discussions! i love you all. stay safe and stay kind, friends 💛

[winchest09]

The Bunker Party - Sept Debrief

Hey my darlings! 

We promised you a bunker edition of our Bunker Party and man...we were not lying. We have SO much stuff to share with you, my little excited fingers cannot type fast enough. 

September’s Bunker Party was just amazing. It was so lovely to see so many new faces! My cheeks still ache from the laughs and it was so lovely to see so many of you sharing your love for all things Supernatural. Seriously, SPN does have THEE best fandom and I’m so glad to be a part of it.

6 and a half hours we were hanging out for…SIX AND A HALF! To see so many beautiful faces, hear so many lovely voices and to spend time with new people was just a dream! The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

Me and @katehuntington​​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in October and my even hold a spooky theme...

So…to the debrief!

Below you will find: 

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

Announcements, News and links to Patreons!

Challenges to join - we have five! 

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Graphics and Icons

Fic & blog recs

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is, and we can never thank you enough. So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat yesterday accompanied by their masterlist and a little blurb of what they have coming up soon! For your reading pleasure and in no particular order… 

@katehuntington​​: The new chapter of Ride with Me is out NOW and she is currently working on the next instalment. The Sullivan Series is now scheduled to be posted every FRIDAY and if she can, she’s posting twice a week! So keep your eyes peeled for that and she is going to be finishing All I Want soon too!

She is also hosting a challenge that you can find out about below!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@talesmaniac89​​:  This beaut has been working a lot on editing images lately, making aesthetics and dividers for everyone to use! More on that further down. Besides that, she has a new chapter of The Man in Apartment 43 coming out. The next chapter of Missing in Action as well as the next one of Lost.

She also is working on another two AU series that are top secret at the moment...watch this space ;)

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

--

@waywardbeanie​​: Shelli has come so far in the matter of a few months. From being a reader to now a series writer! This absolute gem of a woman is working on her very first fanfiction called “A Man Of Letters” and it’s an absolute DIAMOND. Dean. Letters. Fluff. Smut. It’s gonna tick all them boxes and it’s a must read!

She is now ALSO working on her second series, Life on Tour, an RPF Jensen x reader going live on October 1st! Find the announcement and her AMAZING tour video...HERE

Call my a fangirl, cause I am THERE. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@smol-and-grumpy​​: Nat has such a juicy masterlist. She is a few chapters away from finishing Euphoria and has already announced her next series Golden Cage! 

She is also hosting a challenge at the moment that you can find out about below. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@atc74​​: We were thrilled to see Ang on our livestream. She has just celebrated four years on tumblr and she has such an extensive masterlist of goodies!

As you may have seen, she’s currently rewriting Souls to Souls as well as a new idea that she’s cooking up. Watch this space! 

She is also hosting a challenge at the moment that you can find out about below.

Her masterlist can be found HERE

--

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​: Alex is nailing it at the moment with her fictions. She’s currently posting Happiness Continued (the sequel to Happiness Begins) and she’s posted some delicious new oneshots since we last saw her. She also has other idea’s that she is working on so keep your eye on her blog if you’re not already ;) 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@flamencodiva​​: Vanessa is currently reposting her works back onto a new blog that she has created. She is posting Getting Back to You at the moment, as well as some of her old oneshots. I also know, thanks to some little birds, that she has some AMAZING new series just waiting to see the light of tumblr...you’re not gonna be disappointed. 

Check out her masterlist HERE

--

@superfanficnatural​​:  Mert has took some time away from the writing world but nothing could keep him from showing his fantastic self on our livestream. He’s slowly getting back into his writing thanks to much encouragement ;) and is chipping away at the next add for his series The Choice. 

He has some other series in the works, a couple of collaborations that he’s got under his belt too...

We’re living for it!

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

--

@deanwanddamons​​: Sian is an absolute sweetheart and is working on a few things at the moment. She recently completed her reblog challenge for August where you can find a DELIGHTFUL masterlist HERE. 

Aside from that, she’s got three WIPS and I know of some oneshots AND a new series she’s cooking up. OH, I am excited!  

Her masterlist can be found HERE

--

@jensengirl83​​: Brandy is an absolute doll and we adore her. She is still relatively new to SPN fanfic but that doesn’t stop her from dominating it! She has over twenty oneshots under her belt already!  

Not ONLY that, she is now over twenty chapters deep into her FIRST SPN Dean fanfiction, Regret and Redemption. Although, only seven chapters have graced your dashboard ;) 

She has more up her southern sleeve though so watch this space! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@malfoysqueen14​​: Angel is still new to the supernatural fandom but that doesn’t stop her putting her hand to fanfic and being the sweetheart that she is! 

Her first fic, White Flag, is being reworked into a reader insert and she is also working on another Dean x reader series. Beginning of the End! 

She also writes for other fandoms. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@soaringeag1e​​: We adore Meg and her extensive list of spn fanfiction! There is so much for you to feast your eyeballs on. 

She is currently working on her series Escape and we have been treated to hearing about her new series, Behind Closed Doors. 

It’ll be an AU. There will be crossed universes and it has a twist that’s super juicy. Get yourself signed up if you’re not already! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@alleiradayne​​: Jeanna is such a sweetheart and we absolutely adored having her on our livestream! As we mentioned last time, she had been commissioned to write a SPN fanfic piece for a charity auction (details below) and she told us all about it on the stream! 

If you like destiel, she is writing a Destiel fanfiction called Long Jacket which has a take that we’ve not heard of before. 

She is also writing a new series which is going to be quote long apparently! Like 60 chapters! But we are SO there for it.

You can find her masterlist HERE:

--

@emoryhemsworth​​: This beaut has broken her lil hiatus and posted the sequel to Because of You. Piece by Piece is amazing and if you haven’t read it yet, i suggest you check it out. She’s also writing her first chapter of her series called “Losing Sleep” as well as a TWD crossover fic!

She also has got ideas for a sequel to her fic Wonder Woman and a oneshot based on “Raining on Sunday” by Keith Urban.

Check our her masterlist HERE:

--

@manawhaat​​: This babe joined us once again and we loved having her, even if it wasn’t for long. Below you can find her humongous masterlist of goodies for your reading pleasure. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@anathewierdo​​: Ana is such a darling and we always love having her on the streams. She’s currently reposting her fic Call of the Ocean which is a collaboration with Flamencodiva. Not only that, she’s also working on a Princess Diaries AU, a Serial Killer AU and many more!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@deanmonandnegansbitch​​: Yas was new to our stream this time around and we ADORED having her. She has quite a bit on her masterlist already and she is currently working on her current series, Tuyo! 

Check it out and give her some love. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

--

@impala-1979​​: Lauren was another newbie for our stream this time and again, we loved having her on here! At the moment, she has a Sam series in the works which is an Insane Asylum!AU as well as an RPF called Nymphomania. 

She is also in the middle of a pornstar A/B/O AU with JDM! 

She also has many, many more goodies on offer! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@defenderrosetyler​​: Ali was new to our stream and we were so glad she chose to spend some time with us. She currently has a couple of oneshots available on her masterlist for both Sam and Dean! 

Judging from some of our topics of conversation last night, she also has some amazing idea’s coming your way soon. Definitely one to keep an eye out for! She’s a total sweetheart too! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@thinkinghardhardlythinking​​: Saira was also new this time to our stream and we were so excited to meet her. She’s a new writer and is new to tumblr but she’s already written a couple of pieces to share with everyone! 

She’s such a sweetheart. She’s wrote two oneshots to cheer up the fans who are struggling with the show ending...you can find the Dean one HERE and the Sam oneshot HERE. 

Also, upon hearing that a fellow member of the SPN fandom was in hospital, she wrote this piece HERE. 

Please show her some love and support <3

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@that-one-gay-girl​​: This was the first time we met Sydney and she’s such a lovely person. We’re so grateful she joined us and talked to us about all things Supernatural. She’s a fairly new writer and has yet to create a masterlist but that hasn’t stopped her from writing her series “Gone”

It’s dean x reader and definitely one to keep your eye on! 

You can find Chapter One HERE

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Me: The latest chapter of Life for Rent is out NOW and I’m currently working on the next one, which i’m half way through. Only four more before that series is completed.  I’m also working on Man’s Best Friend as well as a brand NEW series which will be posted once one series is finished. I also have a couple of Dean oneshots I’m working on right now.

My masterlist can be found HERE:

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To the upcoming writers & readers…

@leissa1287​​, @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​, @dawnie1988​​, @jules-1999​​, @adoptdontshoppets​​, @gothicwombat42​​ & the few nonnies we had!

We were treated to hear about some of your upcoming plans for fictions. 

Dawnie: Signing up for Sabrina’s challenge and taking that leap to write. If you need us, you know where we are for idea bouncing and everything else. 

Sabrina: Again, we’re here for you hun. Your series idea sounds wonderful and if you need help, you know where we are. 

Jules: Same goes for you hun, your series idea is one we’ve not heard of before and we were all hooked once you explained it. Reach out if you need us, we’ll do whatever we can to help. 

Also, to upcoming writers and readers, we want to thank you for your constant support, your feedback, your words, your reactions to what we write. Your likes, your reblogs, your asks. We appreciate every single thing you do. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you.

Also, remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything and everything. Even if you wish to start writing…give any of us a shout. We’re here to help!

Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

Please spread the love and show your support to all of these amazing people, go follow and give them some love!

We’ve got quite a few goodies this time! 

We want to bring to everyone’s attention once again, the wonderful organisation that is Ficfasers, an international fundraising group of authors and artists who love Supernatural. They offer thank yous to people who agree to donate to Random Acts by creating stories/art, crafts, and more for winning bidders and ticket buyers!

Again, this is amazing and it’s something that so many of us can get involved in. We’ve been told an event is coming up around the holiday period so watch this space! 

Want to write for Charity?

Check out their tumblr HERE

and their website HERE

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Follower achievements!

Join me in congratulating these amazing blogs as they have surpassed or are close to a follower milestone!

First of all, we have two Blogiversary’s! 

@smol-and-grumpy​​ has just celebrated an anniversary on tumblr, you may have entered her challenge, check her out if you haven’t already!

@atc74​​ is celebrating FOUR years on tumblr! How amazing is that?! If you’re not following, check her out! 

Next up...

@atc74​​ has hit 4500 followers!  @waywardbeanie​​ has just passed 250 followers!     

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​ has hit 1300!

@superfanficnatural​​ has passed 600 followers!

@malfoysqueen14​​ has passed 200!

@janicho88​​ has passed her first 100!

@soaringeag1e​​ has passed 6000 followers!

@jensengirl83​​ has hit 550 and is now on her way to 600! 

Congratulations guys!

If you’re not following them already, head on over and show them your support!

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Want to be the first to read new chapters of your favourite fics?

Some of our fabulous livestream participants have Patreon!

For a small fee a month, you get personalised drabbles, oneshots and MORE as well as first dibs on new chapters before ANYONE else! Please consider giving them your support.

The links for each authors Patreon is below:

@smol-and-grumpy​​ - Find hers HERE

@flamencodiva​ - Find hers HERE

@soaringeag1e​​ - Find hers HERE

@impala-1979​ - Find hers HERE

Oh, IT’S CHALLENGE TIME. This month, we have FIVE challenges for you to get involved in!

First of all, we have our FIRST Christmas themed challenge! Yes, the holiday season is fast approaching so to celebrate 100 followers @janicho88​​ is hosting a Christmas Song challenge!

Check it out, HERE

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Secondly, we have @smol-and-grumpy​​‘s  SUPERFRIENDS Title Challenge! She loves Friends, she loves Supernatural so why not combine both?  Nat has given you fic titles inspired by both SPN and Friends - you just write the one shot that goes with it!

The One Where You Enter The Challenge...HERE  

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Thirdly, we have @katehuntington​​‘s Going Dutch challenge. Aside from horses and writing, her other passion is music! So she’s gathered Dutch Artists and all you need to do is write a fic/request a fic tied with a song! This is open till February so you have plenty of time. 

Check it out, HERE

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Fourthly, we have @atc74​​‘s blog celebratory challenge which is so unique and wonderful for you guys! 

You can win a chance to collab with seasoned writers, included Ang herself and all you have to do, is to enter and write your fic! There are 30 prompts available, write your oneshot to a prompt which will then be judged by impartial judges.

3 - 5 readers will win a chapter in the collaboration series!

Runners up will win a beta to a oneshot. 

Take a look and enter the challenge, HERE

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Last, but certainly not least, we have @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​‘s Make Me Swoon Challenge!

It’s exactly what it says on the tin, make Sabrina swoon! She has listed what she likes paired with a long list of prompts for you to choose from. There is still spots open. 

Check it out, HERE

We’ve got you covered for numerous things if you need help with your fictions! 

Need a graphic? Header, banner, divider? 

Our gorgeous @talesmaniac89​​ is available to create whatever you would like! She’s the creator behind our banners for this post and numerous other masterlist across the board. Give her a message! 

 WWII and horse Knowledge?

@katehuntington​​ is your girl! She’s a little history buff and as you will know, thanks to Ride with Me, she ADORES her horses. Give her a message, she’ll be happy to help! 

Struggling with some smut?

@superfanficnatural​​ has offered his services to be the person you can go to if you need to hash out certain words, feelings and perspective. He is the perfect person to give you an insight to the male POV when it comes to sex so if you’re writing Destiel or a chapter from the guys POV, Mert is there to help!

Need help finding that one gif?

@emoryhemsworth​​ is your go to girl! Seriously, you tell her you want a gif of Dean in a specific place, wearing a certain outfit, she will find it for you in no time at all. She’s a diamond as she’ll also credit the creators! 

Struggling to find that one word? Or even a title?

@atc74​​ is your guru! She is perfect for getting you unstuck and if you’re struggling with a title, she can also help on this front! I always struggle with a title, and a summary so I know i’ll definitely be hitting Ang up if i get stuck!

Theme? Plotting? Symbolism? Dialogue?

@alleiradayne​​ is your babe! She has a passion for writing, for plot and for making fictions be like no other. She loves dialogue, and from what i’ve heard, she loves a good twist too! I know she’ll be there to support you so send her a message if you need help!

Lost a fic? Need help to find it again?

@spnfic-search-blog​​ is the blog to go too! Send an ask and they will dedicate their time to try and find it for you! 

Need a new aesthetic? Line divider? We got you! Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89​​ has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers, headers and more for your free usage!

Just look at some of these!

She has a few posts full already!

We’re talking dividers, headers, banners, gifs and icons! 

Check them out HERE!

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s the most kind hearted, loving soul and a few words go a long way <3

Blog Recs!

@just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms​​​: Ana is an amazingly talented writer and has always been willing to listen when others need an ear. She’s extremely supportive, has an extensive masterlist and is a mental health warrior!  Since she hasn't been around for a couple years, she will have "fresh content" for new readers looking for good fics. 

@spnfic-search-blog​​: As mentioned before, this is the blog to follow and go to if you’re in need of a certain fic. It’s also a good place to find new ones and share the love! 

@heloisedaphnebrightmore​​:  She doesn’t fear stepping out of spn tropes and it is something that she does so well. There isn’t much on her masterlist but we love every piece of it.

@fictionalabyss​: This blog was mentioned on our livestream yesterday as they have an array of Supernatural fanfiction! Take a look at her masterlist and see for yourself! Be warned, you’ll be there for ages as she has that much stuff!

Fic Recs!

I Hurt Too by @jawritter​​

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  (Request) I have seen loads of fics and one shots where Dean is sleeping around/having a one night stand and the reader gets jealous and upset, but I was wondering if I could request one with the other way around? or maybe one where they sleep around equally? as smutty, fluffy, or angst as you want!!

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Missing Pieces by @supernatural-fangirl1967​​

Pairing: Nurse!Deanx Reader

Summary: (Request)  Could you maybe do some nurse Dean with some angsty hurt/comfort with a fluffy ending?

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Upon a hill by @roonyxx​​

Pairing: Teen!Dean x Plus!sized Reader

Summary:  What happens when the new hot guy, Dean Winchester, show interest in you?

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Twenty Minutes by @chocolateheart​​

Pairing:  Professor!Dean x Reader

Summary: Online school sucks but your professor is worth the torture.

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Stranger by @msmarvelouswinchester​​

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:  Not all decisions a person takes proves to be alright. Some have grave consequences. Dean had taken a decision at the heat of the moment which he thought would prove to be alright, but what happens when he has to bear the brunt of his stupid decision?

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Love in Sin by @msmarvelouswinchester​

Pairing: AU Detective!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary:   Special Agent Winchester is forced to go undercover with his frenemy Special Agent L/N when they try to track down a notorious drug dealer. How will Y/N and Dean complete their task? Will their relationship worsen or will new feelings emerge between them?

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When the lights go out by @jawritter​​

Pairing: Mobster!Dean Winchester x Virgin! Reader

Summary:  Life hasn’t been your best friend lately, you lost your job, and are on the verge of losing your apartment. Who knew when you decided to join a Sugar Daddy app that your best friend suggested in a last-ditch effort to save your apartment, and not end up on the street, your first and only client would turn your whole world upside down.

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Tic Tac Toe by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing:  Sam X Reader

Summary:  The reader shifts into a new city after being offered a dream job by a big firm. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect after an ugly break-up with a douche-bag Ex. But things turn out not as dreamy as she’d want them to be and the only thing that keeps her smiling is a totally coincidental game of Tic Tac Toe.

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The Queens Court by @waywardnerd67​​

Pairing:  Dean x Reader / Sam x Reader / Castiel x Reader

Summary:  She met them under unusual circumstances and offered them the only thing she could. Building relationships with three men was nothing new but then again they were no ordinary men. (Y/N) finds herself at a crossroads between the safety of her business and her heart. Will she be able to keep the life she has built for herself or leap into the unknown following her heart’s true desire.

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Stroke of luck by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing:  Dean X Reader

Summary:  Dark highway, middle of the night, a bad boy driving an Impala, and a Damsel in distress. Too cliche? Think again.

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A lot like us by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing: Lawyer!Professor!Sam X Reader AU

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

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About a boy by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing: N/A

Summary:  Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he had put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?

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Erós by @our-jensen-ackles-love​​

Pairing: Professor!Dean x Reader

Summary:  An accidental text to your Professor got you into this mess. Now you just had to decide if you wanted to stick along for the ride or go on pretending like it never happened. But why does he have to look at you like that?

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Diamonds & Shutters by @jayankles​

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary:  College!AU. Jensen is a baseball player and (Y/N) is a photographer, they are best friends and roommates until someone in Jensen’s life leaves him disconsolate and anguished but (Y/N)’s secret stops her from immediately mending Jensen’s broken heart.

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Out of the park by @iwantthedean​

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary:  Can you take a chance and make a lifetime dream come true? Can Jensen stop fighting against the path his life is taking? Will leaning on each other lead to relationship neither of you wanted or planned on?

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Bad Days by @peridottea91​

Pairing:  DeanxUnnamed!female, Sam mentioned

Summary:  Sam and Dean return from a hunt gone wrong. Sometimes it’s okay to let someone see you hurt.

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Coming Home by @soaringeag1e​

Pairing:  Jensen x Reader

Summary: (Request)  Hiya, I’m in love with your blog, and if you are taking requests I was wondering if you could do a Jensen X reader where reader is Jareds big sister but also in the military and surprises the boys at a con

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If it was to work by @deangirl93​

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Summary:  Dean gave Sam some great advice. Sam just wishes he’d take his own advice sometimes.They had a lot on their plate with their Chuck situation, but that doesn’t mean they can’t take on an old-fashion, black and white case. That also doesn’t mean they can’t go out and celebrate a job well done afterwards.Walking into that bar and seeing you was the last thing Dean thought was going to happen.Maybe Sam’s right. Maybe he should listen to his own advice.

---

Cabin Fever by @slytherkins​

Pairing:  Dean x OFC

Summary:  After a hunting accident takes Dean out of the hunting game for good, he retires to a cottage in the woods with his one true love, but it’s not exactly a fairy tale ending. Pain and disability chip away at his Happily Ever After–and his sanity. After he fails to protect Chloe from a monster out of the woods, Dean falls prey to the monsters in his own head, and she and Sam must come to his rescue.

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Coming of Age by @poisongirl18​

Pairing:  Dean X Stripper!Reader

Summary:  You, Bobby Singer’s daughter, met the Winchester boys at age 8. They always adored you and treated you like the baby sister they always wanted, but you always wanted more from the oldest Winchester brother. Now that you were of age, you thought now was the time to take what you wanted.

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Let Me Go To The Show by @poisongirl18​

Pairing:  Step-Dad!Dean X Reader

Summary:  The reader wants nothing more than to see her favorite band, but her mother won’t let her go. What happens when Dean steps in and persuades the reader’s mother into letting you go. What do you have to give in return?

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Trust you with my heart by @deanwinchesterswitch​

Pairing:  Dean x Fem!Reader insert

Summary: Can Y/N finally let go of the past and entrust her heart to Dean?

Other fandom Recs!

Red Queen Chronicles by @crashdevlin​​

Pairing:  Phil Coulson x OFC (Past), Loki x OFC (Non-con), Clint Barton x OFC, Steve Rogers x OFC

Summary:  Cassie Campbell is Red Skull’s daughter, created in a lab. She’s also a Stark Tech lab assistance, a college student, a superhuman, an Avenger and a devout Christian. That’s enough to juggle, even without the ever-looming influence of Loki’s dark interest in her.

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I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 and a half hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in October. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox

[sunsetcurve]

so...the last year has been rough. for everyone. but i’ve been lucky in a lot of ways, especially with the people in my life, and i wanted to take a second to thank some people on here. because genuinely, you guys mean so freaking much to me. i’ve had a lot of online friends in my life but none that feel so much like family. these are the people who have carried me through the last year, who’ve made me feel seen and heard and supported me in all my endeavors and just been wonderful to me all around. i love you guys, and happy new year <3

i’m about to get into it now. and i’ll try not to cry too much along the way.

@neshatriumphs​ nesha, when i say that you’re our fandom mom i mean that you’re my family, i mean that you’re my biggest supporter, my inspiration, my rock, the person who makes me want to be my best self, all the time. i can’t explain to you what your support has meant to me over the years. whether it’s leaving me incredibly kind notes on my fics that make me want to write more just for you, or sending me asks when you know i’m feeling down, or just making me laugh with your hilarious takes, you have always, always been there for me. you’re the toughest person i know and you make me want to keep pushing every day. you’re so incredibly talented; your ideas are just always stunning and inspired and despite being humble about it you’re amazing at everything you do. your art, your writing, your aesthetics, all of it. loeg and share-a-lair were just spectacular and such a show of how complex and original and smart your writing is. barring just your talent you’re also an inspiration in how passionate and kind and dedicated you are. you care for others everywhere you go. you come on here and constantly make me want to be a better person. it’s not just me, either—you’ve taken on the role of helping all of us in any way you can, and you just make us feel loved and supported and give us someone to always look up to. i love you. plain and simple, you’re my family, and i’m so, so grateful to have you in my life.

@juliesdahlias​ you know when you meet someone younger than you and you’re like how do they have this much talent in their body? and you can’t even be mad about it because you just want to root for them and you want good things for them and you think of them like a little sibling? that’s me around you all. the freaking. time. pearl, i’m constantly blown away by how smart and driven and passionate you are. you have so much talent to offer the world and i love seeing you thrive more than anything. you inspire me every freaking day; i mean, your tiara thief drabbles literally made me pull my fic out of my drafts for the first time in months. every time you post it’s something iconic and beautiful, whether its your fics or your edits or your headcanons. and not just that, but you’re so incredibly supportive of everything i put out there. like with ths, the way you latched on to it and are one of our biggest fans and made content for it literally as soon as we started!! that was amazing!! you’re just such an incredible person in every sense of the word; you’re talented and hilarious and kind and passionate and i love you so so much. i cannot wait to watch you do amazing things because i know you’re gonna be one of the greats. ily. 

@ciara-knightly i can’t even put this into words. i’m sitting here trying to say it right and every time i start i just turn into “!!!!!!!!” cause i love you so much. i know i’ve said this before, but shona, you’re honestly like my older sister. this whole year of just, really getting to talk to you beyond tumblr has shown me how honestly kind, passionate, smart, and supportive you are. talking to you is one of my favorite things in the world, whether it’s rambling about tiara thief, or discussing feminism in media, or just getting life advice. you always know what to say to lead me in the right direction and reassure me that things are gonna be okay. i look up to you more than i can tell you; i’m constantly inspired by your talent and your drive. you’re endlessly supportive and you make me laugh all the time, and i hold literally every convo we have close to my chest because it means so much to me to just be able to have them with you. i’ll never be over the fact that you basically discovered jatp, or us talking and making predictions for weeks before it aired, or us plotting out the whole dystopia novel together—which, even though it didn’t really pan out, was such an amazing experience because i got to do it with you. and i absolutely scroll back through our convos on a regular basis to scream over our tiara thief headcanons. everything i’ve done with you has been incredibly fun and meaningful, so what i’m trying to say in this very long winded way is that i’m so, so glad i know you, and i can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. 

@bitchmilsky lizzie, i literally think of you like you’re my little sibling. my weird, crazy, hilarious, incredibly kind and supportive and creative and amazing little sibling. ever since i met you you’ve been nothing but fun and friendly and wonderful to me. your posts never fail to make me laugh and i love seeing whatever you’re up to, even if it’s video games that i understand nothing about. you have so many fun ideas and you’re so freely yourself, it’s honestly inspiring. the things you make are always adorable and every time we go live together and chat i always have so much fun, and talking and i just want to meet you in person so badly because i know we’d be an amazing, unstoppable duo and that you’d make me laugh until my sides hurt. i’m still waiting on that cross-country road trip. we could roll the windows down and belt our way through the entire hd musical soundtrack, and it would be epic. for real, though, you’re one of my favorite people ever, and i hope this year brings you nothing but fun and good things because that’s what you deserve. i’m sending you a million virtual hugs and also booty shorts that say poggers on the ass. i love you <3

@zackmartn i know i’m gonna start crying right now because i love you so much and i’m trying not to because i just did my makeup but dammit, nikki, i just love you so much. i remember when i first came on here and was afraid to talk to you because i was like “ohmygod she’s so cool she’s the king of this fandom she’s amazing” but i thank god that you reached out to me every day. i honestly can’t imagine my life without you; you’ve been such a presence in it for so long that you’re inseparable from it. even the times i’ve gone on hiatus i’ve been stalking your blog from a distance like “i just wanna know what she’s up to...”. you’re honestly like an older sister to me and you’re one of the people i admire the most; you’ve been through and continue to go through so much and yet every day you come on here and decide to be a freaking light to all of us, to make me smile, to support me literally endlessly. like, the amount of times you’ve driven me to near tears from your reviews of my writing is ridiculous. the freaking umana fan club?? the way ths is one of your top tags??? it’s just...insane and such a show of how boundless your support is. and that’s not even getting into how freaking talented you are!!! i stare at your gifsets all the time!! and your fics like....holy shit you literally created this whole universe that i’m so freaking invested in and is better than literally anything that canon could ever do, and i know i’m honestly terrible at responding to messages but i hope you know you never have to start holding back with me. most of the time when i get stuff you send i have to sit there and get my thoughts together and that takes forever, but i love love love reading it anyway. the way you get excited about the things you love is everything, it’s something that i really really love about you, and i hope you continue to keep that passion and love for everything. and i hope that this year brings you nothing but good things, because you deserve that more than anyone. i love you. 

@willexs eliza, babe, i know we joke all the time that we were put on opposite sides of the ocean because we’d be too powerful if we were together but i really think it’s true. imagine us meeting. the universe just wouldn’t be able to handle it; it would implode. listen, you’re literally like my twin, my other half. we have so much in common that it’s honestly ridiculous. we operate on the same brainwave, and every time we talk i’m blown away by how easy it is and i honestly love it so much because i could not have picked a more talented and creative and fun person to work with. writing ths with you has literally been like...one of my favorite writing experiences ever. i can’t believe that it started on such a whim because it’s such an important part of my life now and getting to have you next to me while we figure this whole thing out is honestly the best part. it’s not just all the characters and dynamics we’ve created, it’s the fact that i can send you incoherent ramblings at ungodly hours and you’ll pick them apart, it’s the 3-hour phone calls to make playlists, it’s you always making me feel heard and inspiring me. it’s this like...excitement of building towards something amazing with someone i love. you understand me on this crazy and fundamental level, and sometimes it blows my mind how similar we are and how well you know me without us having even met. i feel like we’re the embodiment of “nobody gets me like you”. and i know i’ve said this before, but i really do think you make me a better writer. i love how you make me laugh, i love that you always have the best takes and i love how talented you are with your incredible adorable art and your fics and your gorgeous edits and i love that we egg each other on and hype each other up. i love that, despite being on opposite sides of the ocean, we’re still best friends. and i love you <3

​@cactus-con lou!!!!!! i literally just...ahh i love you so much!! i know i’ve said this before but you were the first person i talked to in this fandom, and you made me feel so freaking welcome. and that has never changed. talking to you is so easy and natural, and you make me feel loved and heard all the time. i love getting to share stuff with you because you always always always hype me up. not just that but like...your talent?? literally unmatched!!! you’re amazing at everything you do it’s ridiculous. i love love love all your artwork, i could stare at it literally all day. you have so much talent and i literally cannot wait to watch you do such great things with it. i just...you’re such a wonderful person to everyone around you. you spread all this love and support and kindness and i think you’re one of the most genuine people i know and i’m so so glad i know you. i hope this year treats you so well because you deserve nothing but good things. i love you. <3

@owenjoyners where do i even start?? brooke, you’re like my other twin. i know i’ve said this before but it’s literally insane to me that we’ve known each other for less than a year because it feels like i’ve known you my whole life. you are such an incredible freaking person. you’re funny and you’re kind and you’re talented and you make me smile every damn day. i love getting post notifs from you because i swear to god i light up every time. your gifsets are always gorgeous, and i’ve watched you learn and improve and you’ve gotten so good, it makes me so happy every time. your art??? you say you’re just starting out but i can’t even tell you how much i love it. your fics!!! you’re good at everything and it’s honestly ridiculous. and it’s not even about your consistently amazing posts, i also just...i love talking to you more than anything, even if we’re just simping over owen together. you make me laugh all the time and you always hype me up; you’ve let me ramble about my fics and helped me get my ideas together, you’ve talked stupid life stuff like school and college with me, and you’ve given me someone to go to whenever i need it. i think of you as one of my best friends and i can’t get over how fast we clicked or how easy it is to talk to you. i need you to come visit me so i can give you so many hugs and we can have a sleepover and talk for literally hours on end. in the meantime, we need to call again sometime because that was honestly so much fun. i love you with all my heart. 

and some people i want to say thank you to, because even though we don’t talk as often as i’d like you’re still amazing, and you make me smile all the time, and i love seeing you on my dash or in my notes: @taylorswiftrulestheworld @onplanetmars @dr-rigatoni @swellviews-finest @symphonic-concert @molinasmercer

[bearseokie]

dear readers and writers

— a little advice i wish i would have heard before i started this blog and writing in general. sorry i’m that writer that makes post like these, i just want you to understand that things like this change everything. if this looks like a lot, just find the ones that pertain to you.

writers

➤ 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝

there are so many good works that come from you focusing on the genres you are most comfortable with, and only writing those is not a bad thing. it’s not a “you’re not growing as a writer” situation, it’s a comfort zone situation. just because smuts do well doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to write them. just because angsts come in bulk because you can never ignore the emotional bits of writing doesn’t mean that has to be the main focus of every work. just because fluffs are the most reblogged content doesn’t mean it’s the only genre people will enjoy from you. focus on what you love, others will follow!

➤ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥

if you don’t consistently open your inbox, do it at least once. close it when you feel overwhelmed or at any time you feel necessary. don’t believe that you have to write them all in a short period of time. be statistical about it: only open it for a short game or blurbs. use the requests to fill in blanks or practice writing in different ways. play with the word counts. change up the tone. delete a few, you’re not obligated to actually write them, this is your free time and your work. but sometimes doing requests can change how you write, maybe even give you a breakthrough you wouldn’t have had with writing things from your own mind. and have fun.

➤ 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

filling the warnings up with silly little comments or parts from the story is important, too. even if it’s a paragraph’s worth of potential warnings or triggers, never skip adding them. even if you think it’s something not worth mentioning, it will be to someone. add as many as necessary.

➤ 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟏𝟎,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞

word counts don’t determine how good of a writer you are. from brilliant blurbs with two paragraphs and one line of dialogue, drabbles with less than a thousand words, or full on double digits fics: what counts is that you enjoyed writing it. it made you excited. you paused just to mention to a friend how much you love writing it. you got chills piecing together that one line. that energy gets put through your work and into your reader, seriously.

➤ 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭?

everyone reads. anything. everything. you name it, one person’s read it. whether your confidence in your writing ability is low or not, the process will only benefit you. and you get to spend time writing about some of your favorite people/characters, it’s a win-win. it’s no competition, only a fun time that you get to create and share with the world. try it.

➤ 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

the more detail, the better the mental picture. if you read something and love visualizing every scene, hearing every line, then you should work for the same within your stories. close your eyes and put your scene into your surroundings, every little detail counts. and although i said word counts don’t mean anything, if your brain does focus on you having large word counts (it happens to every writer, big word counts make you feel cool for writing so much), then this is a sexy step to use because it heightens that number pretty quickly.

short sentences look weird, but are better than run-ons.

vocabulary is sexy and thesaurus dot com is your best friend. need a word but can only think of something similar, you’ll find it there. used the same word three times now and think you’re starting to look insane, you are, use your sources.

you don’t need a banner or aesthetics for everything you write. the writing does all of the work itself. don’t stress about the accessories.

burnt out on writing the same thing / can’t think of what else to put down? break time. take a tangent, write something else, cut it off there (maybe post it) and leave the rest for the future, the cliffhanger or abrupt ending will have everyone on the edge of their seats. you’re still doing well.

if you’re writing to gain a following or have extensive amounts of notes to brag about, you’re into writing fanfics for the wrong reasons. hoping for feedback is one thing, feasting for it as your only source of inspiration for writing is just hurting yourself and other writers in the long run. write for yourself and no one else.

writer’s block? hell if i know, i’ve had it since before i started writing.

readers

➤ 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤

a little feedback goes a mile. a simple emoji as a reaction, keyboard smashes, even tagging topical things can make a fanfic writer smile.

but long paragraphs also go a long way. imagine watching a movie you love to bits, so much so that you go online and read reviews of it. that commentary can shift the way you look at the movie forever, and stick with you during other films. it’s the same with receiving and reading feedback on fanfics. I’m not saying go crazy critical with your feedback, do not do that unless the writer says they want criticism, but maybe writing why you love one particular line so much could change the way the writer feels about the entire work or make a reader begin to love the same line so much that they quote it or recommend it. it makes a difference!

➤ 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬?

tell the writer. this isn’t an “i wrote this and it mentions all of these other things, so you should have expected this” game. if it bothered you, it will probably bother someone else, and that needs to be told to the writer. i don’t know what to tell you if a writer writes back being degrading or negative about your concern for that warning, but i promise you that most writers will not argue with whether it should be a warning or not and will just add it. do not be scared to mention something that triggered you if it was not mentioned in the warnings. also, please remember writers are humans and cannot think of everything all the time. we might miss one or two warnings within the work when writing the description, so please tell us.

➤ “𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠.”

pain. straight pain. your reblog shares that post with your followers. you like it, why wouldn’t they? that reblog stays on your page, it’ll be seen. the tags you put in could help others find more works on your blog, essentially helping more works be found. maybe they’re old and haven’t seen the light of the recent tags in months, but your reblog could help more people still see it, and that makes a difference. we all have those lazy moments where we don’t want to do all of the steps, but even doing them sometimes helps.

➤ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞?

readers can scroll through the list for their preferences, find new writers that amaze them, maybe they gain the courage to put together their own fic recs list. all of those recommended fics are still floating around and being shared, they don’t get lost in the tags or the writer’s masterlists. you find/make a recs list: congratulations, you’re contributing to helping fanfics thrive (as they deserve). also, who doesn’t love an entire list right in front of them so they don’t have to go on a scavenger hunt to find new things to read? answer: no one.

➤ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐞?

tags to organize, fics to go through/find/read, oh my. let me let you in on a little secret:

have you ever had that moment where you suddenly remember one line or scene from a fic you read months ago, and you have the vaguest details to go off of in order to search and find it? your fics recs blog would have you covered, just scroll through the feed or the tags and boom, it’s at your fingertips.

now imagine someone else looking for more fics to read stumbling upon your blog. might look a little strange and coded to them, but eventually they navigate and find a new fic they’ll be talking about for months. they reblog it, add their own feedback, their followers see it and join in, and that writer feels immensely appreciated all because you started a recs blog and just-so-happened to reblog their fic. tah dah.

➤ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐩?

well, so did i. i asked my followers on this blog and my recs blog to send in their favorite fics with some extra details and feedback thinking i wouldn’t get anything, but i got an entire list! guess what’s even better? that list went straight into the tags (thanks to tumblr working properly for once) and now anyone that searches up ‘kpop fic recs’ can find it at any time. same goes for your own. there’s no specific way of organizing a recs list, just make sure the links work and the writers are credited! it helps.

read more! it’s a vast world in your hands, enjoy the words that go along with it.

sorry for this technical rant/advice post, this has just been in me for a while and i wanted to talk about it. I might add more to this as things come up, but for now i hope this helps! <3