#there are parts of you stuck in me and i hope to god the doctors never take the shrapnel out because it's the only thing that's keeping me
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crowleys-bentley-and-plants · 6 months ago
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And so now everytime i see a black lily i think of you
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writingforatwistedworld · 9 months ago
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Hi! Can i ask for a self aware twst when the reader surprises adopted Silver as their son. Like just pointing at him and saying 'you are my child now' with Silver, Lilia and Sebek. Hope you have a good day!
Hehe. Anon, you know what you are doing. In fact, I would say you even want the chaos. And for that I love you come here so I can hug you.
Self-aware au
I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, Diasomnia chapter spoilers (Lilias part, maybe Sebek), religion, violence, isolation, kidnapping, obsessive behavior
Lilia Vanrouge/(Platonic) Silver/Sebek Zigvolt-Adopting Silver
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Oh ok. Cool cool coolcoolcoolcoolcool
Well, at least that one room dedicated to you in the form of an altar can now be used for more practical uses (finally)
When Lilia heard you say those words and point at his son, he fell from the chandelier he was dangling from
Not only did he have to navigate through not accidentally telling his son that he was the blood related son of an enemy general and that exactly this general killed Malleus mom
But also that he had now a second parent that also happened to be god
Mhm totally normal
Conversations to strangers about his family were already playing out like this in his head:
Hi, I am Lilia Vanrouge, yes the one in your history book, this is my son Silver, yes he looks like a certain knight, and my lovely partner and also parent of this lovely human, yes, FU**ING GOD THEMSELVES
Ah yes, sitting in church will totally not be awkward after this
Bro legit sits you down with a pen and paper, asking you to sign the marriage certificate
Asks you what flowers you want to have on your wedding. Doesn't matter if you are a woman, man or identify as something else, he is planning that
Also has already planned out how to get you into the Valley of Thorns without anyone noticing
Because no matter how devoted he is to you, he will always be too greedy to share your attention with someone else
You could have said this as a joke or some other protective instinct towards the silver-haired male but all that man's father hears is a marriage proposal
Lilia is just happy that you feel some sort of positive way to his family member (makes things easier when you are stuck in that cabin)
I mean, he did see Silver as a present from you, a child meant to bring him back to the light after being so long in the shadow of war
And now the three of you were together! How lovely!
Which would mean that you planned this all along. Dear Overseer, if you liked the idea of you being a family you could have just told him so
He will be the best partner to raise a child together you could dream of
And should someone dare to interrupt the perfect, peaceful life you three (plus two more) had, he wouldn't mind swinging that sword again
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Wait what?
What do you mean with that?
Are you sure you want him to be your son? Really?
Apparently he was not the only one surprised since he could hear the thud of his father falling to the ground behind him and Seek screaming somewhere behind him
Be prepared for a silver haired knight to look at you with the biggest puppy eyes and ask "Do you really want me as you son?"
Critical hit! Someone call a doctor. I think the Valley of Thorns god can be killed by cuteness
After that he is glued to your side (even though you have to part sooner or later since he is not living in Ramshackle)
One morning you woke up to the guy standing there with some food being like "I made some food."
Like where the Heck did he even get the keys for the dorm? (He broke in through a hole in the ceiling)
Silver always comes running to you whenever he does something and wants praises
Once he was best in one of his classes and he stood there with the report like he could turn into a dog and get headpats from you any second
But, as I am sure you are aware of, this is a blog with yandere themes and we have to say goodbye to the fluff at some point
That sword training comes in handy is all I'm saying
I mean, he has probably enough strength to break someone's leg with his bare hands by simply applying some pressure
And that one Diasomnia student that tried to take his son-status away from him was found again in a not-so-compatible-state-with-life kind of situation
I'm letting you imagine what happened
Like Lilia he is ready to burn everyone who dares to interfere with your little family
The forests of his homeland are pretty though so no need to worry about the appearance of your surroundings once they bring you to your new home (who needs social interaction anyways?)
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A second of silence
And then the screaming started
“OH HOW KIND OF OUR OVERSEER! TO SHOW A MORTAL THEIR KINDNESS AND CARING SIDE!”
Seek would be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised
You, aka the Overseer, aka some higher being, AKA GOD, were known in the Valley of Thorns to be kind and caring, yet also distant and never approaching others directly
But then you literally adopt someone, making that person someone in your inner cycle?
Well, if Sebek knew one thing then that those Priests were going to have a crisis as soon as they learned about this
Totally not jealous
He would try to get closer to you since, apparently, you did allow others to get close to you
But he was happy as long as you were
After all, he was now the (not-so-official appointed) shield of the Valley of Thorns, something he got passed on by his grandfather
So of course he couldn't be family with you
That didn't mean he couldn't “help” you
Someone intruded on that dinner you had with Lilia and Silver?
Ouch… that punch must have hurt
Whenever Silver or his Father had to interfere because someone else came too close then they were some incredibly slick (looking at you Rook) or lucky person
Don't let his loud mouth fool you
This crocodile has done unmentionables in your name in order to make things easier for your new found family
For what? Oh you know, becoming his neighbor back home… forever
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somanyratsinthewalls · 11 months ago
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Heyy! I’m new here and I absolutely love your writings wksiwksjwjshe is your 300 event still open?
if yes I would love to req a cinnamon + poplar ! hehe thank you! (If it’s already closed then don’t mind me)
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*HI sorry this took forever! But I hope you love it ;) Ace is such a filthy boy in this one, EYE certainly enjoyed it*
Pairing: Ace x Fem Reader
WC: 2200
Prompt: “Shh I know baby, I know it’s good. You’re doing so good for me…” 
TW: SEX, shameless flirting in public, Ace being kind of a pervert, reader is a bit older than young buck Ace, p in v sex, unprotected sex (don't) creampie (also don't) fingering, teasing, pet names, filthy language. the usual?
— — 
You sat at your desk in the medical ward of the ship, up to your ears in paperwork. Blood test results to log, supply order forms to go over, you had so much on your plate and it was eating away at you. The rest of the crew was in the galley drinking but you were stuck working. 
Suddenly the door to the med bay swings open and in waltzes the crew’s head doctor. 
“Ok little chicken, that’s enough work for tonight.” Marco smiles warmly at you as he approaches your desk. 
“Please stop calling me that." You sigh and rub your eyes. "And I still have more releases to sign off on, and the IV tubing we use for Dad is on backorder, so I have to decide if we go up a size or down a size and did you know-“ You ramble on and on while Marco rolls his eyes. 
“I’ll handle it. Go out and have a drink.” Marco eyes your tired face. “Gods know you need it, kiddo.” 
You sigh. You feign a smile as you rise from your desk chair, the joints in your back and knees popping from how long you had been sitting. 
“Was… was that your back?” Marco asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes. Shut up.” You say as you push your way out of the med bay. You follow the sounds of music and riotous laughter towards the galley and enter quietly. You slunk between the groups of pirates towards the center of the room and grab a beer from the barrel full of ice. You pull your cigarette lighter out of your pocket and use it to pop the cap off your beer. You stow the lighter back into your pocket. 
“Hey, y/n! Over here!” 
You turn around and see a somewhat intoxicated Ace waving you over to his table. He had that stupid, goofy grin on his face. You smiled back and headed in his direction. He was standing around a wooden table with Thatch, Izou and a few other Whitebeard pirates and nurses. 
“Jeez y/n you look like you’ve been up for a week.” Ace teases you. 
“I think I have, now that you mention it…” You say and take a sip of your beer. 
“Man I haven’t seen you this down before, y/n. What the hell is going on with you?” Izou asks. 
“Well, since you’ve asked! I’m exhausted. I’m bored. I’m stressed. I can’t tell if I want 5 more beers or to fall asleep on the floor! I am wildly overworked and under-fucked.” You finish your rant and slam your beer. 
“Anyone else need another one?” You ask to the now silent group of people that surrounded you at the table. You were met with mostly blank stares, shocked at your sudden outburst. You turn and head to grab a new beer. 
“I’ll come with you!” Ace is quick to join with a mischievous smirk on his lips. 
He follows you like a puppy as you head towards the beer. 
“You know I can help you with that, right?” Ace grabs your arm and pulls you to face him. 
You laugh. 
“I don’t really think Marco would trust you enough to run my blood tests for me, but thanks.” 
“No no, the other part. The being under-fucked part.” Ace smirks down at you. Again, you laugh. 
“Haha, oh yeah? What are you, like 23? Like you’d know what to do with it if you had a chance.” You smile playfully and wiggle out of his grip, finally retrieving another beer. Ace does the same and sidles close behind you on your way back to the table. Suddenly Ace’s breath is hot in your ear as he leans in to whisper something to you. 
“Well I’ve got an 8 inch cock that might change your mind on that…” You stop dead in your tracks and your eyes widen. 
“Wha-?”
Ace passes by you and goes to join the table again. “Only if you want, though! Come on, let’s have another drink!” Ace beckons you over like he hadn’t just whispered the most crude, filthy thing in your ear 30 seconds ago. 
Convincing yourself you had imagined it, you snap out of your trance and return to the table to drink. 
You enjoy a few more rounds of drinks and you notice with each beer, Ace slides his body closer and closer to yours. You could attribute this to the size of your party shrinking as people headed off to bed, but at this point he was basically pressing his side into yours, occasionally grazing his warm hand over your hip. 
His touch was fleeting, but hot… it made you crave more. You found yourself leaning into him and he pulled you closer in return. He felt you shudder. 
“Oh man, y/n, you must really be tired. Do you need help getting back to your room okay?” Ace looks down at you with a devious smirk.  You knew what he was really asking.. and you were far too quick to respond. 
“Yes, I think I’d like that, Ace.” You smile and he wraps his arm around your hip and pulls you away from the table. 
Ace is all but giggling as he brings you back to your room, pinching and squeezing your skin anywhere he could tease it. He stops at your door and looks at you expectantly. 
You laugh. 
“Would you like to come inside, Ace?” 
“Hell yeah!” Ace practically jumps into your room behind you and slams the door shut. 
From the instant the door is closed, Ace’s lips are on yours. You barely had time to react to the kiss before he started tugging at your clothes. You laugh and pull back from the kiss. 
“Haha slow down!  We have all night Ace… I’m not going anywhere.” You purr at him and stroke his cheek. What a sweet, eager little thing he was. 
Ace nuzzles himself into your neck and plants a wet kiss. 
“‘M’sorry, just hate seeing you like this…” Ace continued licking and biting at your neck. You whimper. “Gonna fix it… gonna make you feel so good, baby.” 
Your cunt clenched in anticipated of what he was about to do to your body. Ace pulls your dress over your head and tosses it to the floor. He distracts you with more kisses as he unclasps your bra and pulls it off of you. Ace kisses down to your stomach and gently pulls your panties down. You step out of them and realize you’re completely bare in front of your friend. 
You covered your breasts instinctively. Those doesn’t go unnoticed by Ace, who was coming up to meet your eye again. He pulls your arm gently away from your chest and smiles. 
“Aww are you shy, baby?” Ace coos at you. You blush so hard you think your face might be on fire. Why was he having this affect on you? He was a young blowhard at least 5 years your junior, and yet he ended up with all of the control in this situation…
“That’s ok, come here…” Ace gets on your bed and sits up with his back against the pillows and headboard. “Let me show you why you don’t need to be shy.” He smirks and holds out his arms to you. 
You lick your lips and climb into Ace’s waiting lap. He positions you with your back again his chest, sitting between his legs. This position reminded you how Ace was still fully clothed and you were completely naked. Something about being so vulnerable in front of him was intoxicating… 
“Spread your legs, sugar. Show me that cute pussy.” Ace whispers in your ear as he pulls your legs over his own, spreading them as far as they could go comfortably. 
“Ace…” You whimper quietly, trying to turn your head away. You were embarrassed at how aroused he had made you, all while barely touching you… but not nearly embarrassed enough to ask him to stop. 
Ace wastes no time before his hands are on your dripping sex. 
“Holy shit…” Ace glides a finger up and down your slit. “Look at how wet you are, pretty.” His one finger turns to two fingers as he collects more of your slick from your hole and brings it up to rub firm circles onto your clit. 
“Ace! Fuck!” You throw your head back, body feeling like it was filled with static electricity. He had you so worked up that every little touch felt like it was amplified by 100. 
“You’re so wet that I bet I could just slip my fingers in..” Ace smirks and swiftly plunges the two digits into your hole. You moan. “And I bet that if I do this…” Ace begins to firmly pull and tap his fingers into that delicious spot inside of your cunt. “… you’ll cum.” 
“Shit, fuck, Ace! O-oh my- Ah! ACE!” You cry out and explode all over Ace’s arm and the bed in front of you. 
“Looks like I was right, huh baby? That’s a good girl, give it all to me.” Ace playfully reacts as he rubs at your clit to prolong your orgasm. 
“Fuck… Ace…” You lay heaving on your bed in Ace’s arms, the spasms from your climax finally ceasing. 
You feel Ace smiling into your neck as he peppers it with sweet kisses. 
“I wouldn’t know what to do with it, huh???” He chuckles into your damp skin. 
“Shut up and fuck me already.” You roll your eyes. 
Ace gently moves you out from between his legs and he rises from the bed to remove his vest and shorts. You audibly gasp at the sight of his huge member springing free from its confines. 
“Jeez you weren’t kidding…” You say softly, eyes not leaving Ace’s cock in front of you. 
“I’m a pirate, baby, not a liar.” He flashes you that stupid grin again. “Now face down, ass up, sugar.” 
You quickly oblige, grabbing a pillow to cushion your face that was now stained with mascara. The first thing you feel is a warm hand sliding up your spine and massaging your skin, then you feel the prodding of Ace’s thick cock at your sopping wet entrance, the heavy mushroom tip barely breaching your hole. Ace dipped his tip teasingly in and out… 
“Ace…. please…” You whine as you push your hips back to entice him to fully enter you. 
“Okay, okay, I’ll give it to you, you don’t ever need to beg for me, pretty.” Ace plants both hands on your hips and pulls your ass flush against his pelvis, sinking his cock as deep as it will go into you. 
Strangled moans leave the both of you as he bottoms out. Ace pulls out slowly, looking down to admire the wet mess you’ve already left on his cock. He pushes back in and you moan again, squeezing him involuntarily. 
“Gods you were right… this tight little pussy is under-fucked.” Ace speeds up his thrusts and you gasp, the wind nearly knocked out of you. “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna make sure that never happens to you again… gonna fuck you every day… make you feel so fucking good…” 
Ace was slamming into you at an animalistic pace and you felt a second orgasm creeping up on you. You could feel the droplets of sweat from Ace’s face splatter on your back, as well as the crazed, possessive grip on your hips almost certainly leaving bruises. You couldn’t form words, only broken sobs and shrieks as your lover drilled into you, dead set on making you cum again. 
Tears fell from your eyes against the pillow and you whined, so close to reaching your peak again. 
“Shh I know baby, I know it’s good. You’re doing so good for me…” Ace coos at you. “Cum on my cock and I’ll fill you up, ‘kay sugar?” Ace leans forward and presses his chest to you as he continues his brutal assault on your pussy. He reaches one hand from your hip down and around to rub at your clit. The stimulation sends you over the edge and your orgasm rips through your whole body. “Ace!” You scream out and lurch forward, no longer able to hold your torso up with your arms anymore. 
“Good fucking girl! Now I’m gonna make you mine…” Ace praises you. 
You try to mumble out “please” but you truly have no idea if you were saying anything coherent.
“Haaa, fuck!” Ace cries out and spills his load impossibly deep into your warm hole. You whimper as you feel rope after rope of Ace’s hot seed filling you. Ace rubs firm circles into your hips as he calms down from his release. 
Suddenly, Ace pulls out of you and flops back into your bed and pulls you to his chest. You nuzzle into his sweaty pecs as you throw a leg over his hips. Ace pulls the blanket over the two of you, briefly leaning upwards to make sure your whole body was covered and comfortable before settling back on the pillows. 
“So you were serious?” You ask quietly. 
“About what, baby?” Ace answers as he strokes your hair. 
“About fucking me every day?” You chuckle. 
“Mmhmm…” Ace kisses the top of your head. “Tomorrow. And the next day.. and the next day… and the next day… and the next… and…” 
You hear Ace start snoring and smile. 
xx 
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phoneuserhana333 · 1 year ago
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.°˖✧ part 2/3: neighbor!doctor!abby / neighbor!producer!reader headcanons .°˖✧
tags: NSFW!!!, sick!reader, mention of nausea and illness, hand on throat, cliffhanger, ellie appears.
i acc hate how this part turned out :( i hope it’s somewhat enjoyable, barely proofread</3 sorry :((((
PART1 — PART2 — NSFWHC — N(SFW)HC
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• you successfully forced abby into a temporary truce. sort of. falling sick and losing your voice, motivation and strength left you low on groceries and medication. so you opted to sleep through the nauseating headaches and eat oatmeal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. it was bad bad.
• so bad, in fact, that you sought out abby’s help. sure, she was a seemingly pretentious, stuck up ER nurse with a mean streak and a hatred for anything fun, but she had the medical knowledge you desperately needed to get back on your feet. plus, she definitely had pain relief medication lying around her house.
• this lead to a strange deal to form between abby and you; nurse anderson agreed to get food and medicine and deliver it to you until you got better, in exchange for three weeks of peace and quiet. hesitant, but desperate, you agreed. this was a huge win for abby. all she wanted was you to be quiet, after all.
• on the first day of your deal, you didn’t let abby come inside, claiming that you were quarantining and demanding she leaves the tote bags full of groceries outside. you barely managed to pull them into your home and the heaviness made you break a sweat, causing your fever to worsen. you texted abby that you were feeling worse and she managed to convice you to come over tomorrow after work for a check up.
• the day after, a defeated patient greeted abby at the door, avoiding her questioning gaze. she sighed and entered your home with a smaller bag filled with medicine and her briefcase with equipment that her dad gifted her. abby was a keeping her side of the deal to a t, she was determined to get on your good side, hoping you’d tune your partying and constant noisiness down for good.
• upon entering your home, the blonde was stunned. bookshelves, a grand piano, papers everywhere, even a chess board. you were smarter than she gave you credit for. the woman let you lead her to your bedroom where the air was thicker and the blinds were pulled down, hiding a bed full of tissues and forgotten mugs in the dark. fuck, her condition might be worse than i thought, abby thought to herself as she stared at your messy floral sheets, or she’s lazy, which might be even worse.
• abby checked you with the care of someone who has been in the medical field for decades, taking her time with you. your temperature was high and you were shivering, claiming to be cold while burning up. abby telling you to pull your shirt up wasn’t helping your trembling state either.
“take me on a date first, w-why dontcha?”
“sorry, y/n. i don’t date neighborhood brats.”
• you pout, too tired to argue, jumping when you feel the freezing stethoscope abby placed against your bare back.
“ow, ow, ow- abby what the hell?! s’cold!”
“god, you’re such a crybaby! here-“
• abby pulled away and warmed the metal with her hot breath, rolling her eyes as she did. your pitiful appearance was only surface level, a cruel reminder to abby that you weren’t a doe-eyed, helpless girl next door she got to take care of and feed soup, much to her disappointment. her cute little face is hiding a literal devil, abby muses, listening to your irregular heartbeat.
• what abby wasn’t aware of however, was how often she thought of you as cute. it was always- “that cute brat”, “…kind of endearing if she wasn’t so annoying” or even “a handful”, complaining to manny on the phone with her darkened eyes glued to your ass, watching as you rushed past her home to catch a train. abby was getting lost in thought, her brain full of aforementioned handfulls and soft plump skin and maybe even her landing a rough spank on- fuck. no. that was wrong.
• … right?
• you, on the other hand, were wide eyed and choking on words. abby placed her warm hand on the small of your back, forcing you to straighten up. she was moving the chest piece around, occasionally telling you to breathe deeper, in a voice that your hazy mind registered as surprisingly hot.
• what really made your heartbeat skip, was her thumb rubbing your back, tracing the elastic waistband of your pajama pants and then slipping underneath to explore the hidden skin. was abby aware she was doing this?! why weren’t you saying anything?!
• … why did it feel so good?
• abby pulled your shirt down, packing away her equipment as she started to speak, offering you a final diagnosis (“you’re so dramatic, it’s just a cold”). the blonde was peeking at your shaking form from the corner of her eye, watching you pick up your tissues and mugs, trembling with barely open eyes. it may be just a cold, but you were obviously drained.
“… ugh. lay down, okay? i’ll take these downstairs.”
• abby rolled her eyes and took over cleaning up your cups. she ignored your protests as she walked downstairs to your kitchen to rinse your dirty dishes in the sink and get your dishwasher started. when she looked up, she saw a few photos on the cupboard above the sink, memories of you and your friends.
• on the one in the middle, you were hugging two girls, playfully kissing one on the cheek, caught mid laugh. her gaze softens. you were a good friend. but a horrible neighbor. for a second, abby lets herself get lost in her head, her eyes staring at the polaroids, unblinking.
• the next few days went by quickly with daily visits from abby. you started to get better, taking it easy and trying to cough quietly as to not bother your neighbor. abby was tired; december was coming up and she was unsure of her plans for the holidays. work was becoming more stressful and the ER was full of people- well, more than usual.
• abby stopped visiting as frequently when she noticed you were getting better, instead sending you wave and tell you off for not cleaning snow off your doorway or wearing a jacket she deemed to be too thin.
• until she stopped acknowledging you altogether. abby was purposefully ignoring you and you just couldn’t find out why. you were used to her eyes following you around, guarding you in some way, like some weird nurse-angel. why was she slowly becoming a ghost you could barely catch a glimpse of? had you done something wrong?
• instead of simply confronting abby, you chose to ignore her back, sending cold looks towards her whenever you crossed paths on the sidewalk. abby, on the other hand, would blush, thinking about how she saw you in only your tiny maroon panties a week ago, naked and on display in your window. since then, she couldn’t look at you, scared that you’d somehow find out that you were the reason she’s been moaning at night the past few days. seeing you on the street would make abby shut eyes shut tightly, fighting her mind as it conjured the image of your pussy and your hard nipples hidden by lacy curtains on a cold december night.
• one thing lead to another, and both of you ended up alone on christmas eve. abby swore she was just going to check on you, see if you were alright. the sight of you with puffy eyes and pouty lips, wrapped in a festive blanket made abby feel fuzzy. before she knew it, she invited you over.
• emotions running high and a somewhat romantic candlelit dinner resulted in you falling into abigail anderson’s bed. she fucked you until morning came, overstimulating you into oblivion and not letting you go until she was satisfied. and after that, she made you hot cocoa.
• despite pretending to be nonchalant, you were a goner. abby had wrapped her hand around your neck and reached down your throat to squeeze your heart. you wanted abby to be yours so bad.
• abby, however, was still hesitant to commit to you. you were the best sex she’s ever had in her life, your hot mouth and tight cunt left her aching for days after, running home to you every night after work, but did she like-like you? what if you didn’t like her back? abby was used to being non-committal, so why was she so enamored with the idea of sharing her life with you?
• this inner turmoil didn’t stop abby from eating you out on your counter top, fingerfucking you while taking a bath together, letting you grind against her thigh in her bedroom.
• god, why was everything so intimate all of a sudden? abby ground you harshly on her chiseled leg, moving your hips with force and pulling a nipple, anything just to hear you whine. with your forehead pressed against hers, you whispered “please, abby. need you-“ and she was gone. her pace quickened as she moaned “good girl, goooood girl…” over and over again. you truly were the best girl ever, abby thought, as you rode out your high on her, now wet, leg.
• sex this heavenly landed abby in your house on new years eve, attending one of your infamous (and unexpectedly fun) parties. she met your friends, dina and jesse. and… ellie. she recognized the two women- they were on one of the polaroids in your kitchen, ellie was the girl who’s cheek you were kissing.
• ellie was too close to you for abby’s liking, touching your back and brushing a finger against your lips after you took a shot of tequila. why was she telling you to “take it easy, babe”, why was she calling you babe? abby felt her blood boil as she rolled her eyes at the overly flirty tone ellie used, taking a sip of her favorite wine you made sure to get just for her.
• just when abby thought that it couldn’t get worse, ellie tried to make a move on you.
“so, y/n. any-uh, plans on who you’ll kiss tonight?”
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leviathanspain · 1 year ago
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he’s got that fire
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doctor strange x reader
synopsis: you have an unusual relationship with your mentor/boss, and when he asks you to be his date to an important awards ceremony, you can’t help but relish in his fire
a/n: stephen strange is so lana del rey coded omff, so heavy sad girl vibes. i haven’t proofread and it’s longer than any of my usual works i think.
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he always told you how much of a gift it was for him to choose you. it was always like that, he chose you, like some god. that he had made your life better by choosing to be in it. he repeated that to you whenever you became ‘insubordinate’.
you never really argued though. you knew that it wasn’t ever the right thing to do, especially with someone so arrogant, you’d be wasting a breath and your career if you did so.
but you learned to live with his narcissism, he was the best surgeon in new york, and arguably in the states. his credentials are why you’ve never argued back.
this day was not any different.
“i said that we should do the shunt.” stephen stared at the films. he was cross, had been since the morning and was now profoundly irritated but hadn’t stated why.
“you’ll kill him. think about it, what if we do another approach in a few days? give him enough recovery time so that when you actually do the surgery, he won’t die on the table.” you explained your decision, but stephen had already stopped listening. he was shaking his head, clearly none of this was going as he wanted.
“stephen-“ you closed your eyes, already preparing to apologize for undermining him, when he shushed you. “i-“ you scoffed but didn’t say anything else.
“we’ll do it tomorrow. it’ll be the first surgery of the day, i want it to go well.” he recycled your idea, and turned around with a nod, “get me dr. palmer. i want her to be in there.” he demanded.
you looked up from your notepad and raised your eyebrows, “you don’t want me in there?” you were his student, his resident, you were assigned to scrub in on all his surgeries-
“no. i want dr. palmer. that is final.” he stalked over to the door, pulling it open and letting it shut behind him without another word.
you couldn’t lie and say you were disappointed. you had hoped that after last night, that you and stephen had finally come to an understanding. but this had just proved that he wasn’t capable of listening. and that he was still hopelessly in love with christine.
“dr. l/n.” a nurse had stopped you as you walked around, moping about stephen kicking you off the surgery. she handed you some papers, “dr. strange has requested you in his office. and he needs to sign these papers for the patient in 203.” she smiled thinly, clearly making you do part of her job.
you shoved the papers back, and stalked off.
you had swiped a salad on your way to his office. you had learned from the first few times that stephen requesting you in his office was like attending a lecture, all about him. and you wouldn’t starve if you were going to be stuck there.
you knocked on the door once before pushing it open. stephen was sitting at his desk, an untouched piece of salmon and greens was in front of him. he didn’t even look up when you walked in.
“what’s up?” you set your salad down, including some of your patient files. you took the chair opposite of his, and cracked open your salad.
“i hate it when you speak like that.” his eyes remained glued to his computer screen.
you looked up, rolling your eyes, “one of the nurses said you requested me? might i inquire why or are we just going to stare at each other and pretend like last night didn’t happen?” you were angry.
he could tell.
your voice shook with a twinge of rage that only he could be the reason behind. it was always the same twinge, it was the same twinge earlier when he had requested christine for the surgery.
his eyes broke away from the screen for the first time since you had walked in. he stared at you, as if trying to calculate this moment in his head. he paused, silence taking the both of you as he stared into your eyes.
“i- i didn’t want to have to do this-“ stephen sighed, “we’re at work. when we’re working, i’m your boss, you are my resident. we can talk about us, later.” he sounded so professional that if you didn’t know him so well, you’d probably throw yourself on the floor and beg for forgiveness.
“just tell me why you picked her over me. that’s all i want to know.” you challenged, your eyes boring into his.
stephen scoffed, “i chose dr. palmer because she is a more experienced surgeon than you. you would just-“
“fuck it up?” you finished his sentence and rolled your eyes, “if you don’t have faith in me than that is a reflection on your abilities as a teacher, as my mentor.”
“no it is not. because if you actually did what you were told, you would be on your way to making an incredible surgeon. but you aren’t. you’d be mediocre at best.” his words cut hard. he hadn’t blinked, and you didn’t dare to look away.
it was weakness to look away. you had to be able to continue to stare him down, if he was going to listen to you.
“i do exactly as i am told. last night was the perfect example of that, wasn’t it, doctor?” you raised your eyebrows and incredibly, stephen broke the eye contact.
“get out.” he returned his gaze to the computer screen and you were taken aback.
“what-“
“i said get out. get your shit, and get the fuck out of my office.” stephen didn’t hesitate to yell at you, which made you want to cringe.
you stood up, sighing as you collected your things, you had almost made it out when you stopped, hand lingering on the doorknob, “this is why christine left you. you’re a fucking asshole, and no one will ever love you.” he had turned, but you had already left before he could yell anymore.
you knew you shouldn’t have slept with your boss. clearly, as you sat at home instead of scrubbing in on a surgery, that it wasn’t working out well.
you had left the hospital after your little outburst with stephen. your pager kept going off, but you had ignored it since they were all from, unsurprisingly, stephen. you tossed and turned in your bed, not having the energy to do anything else.
he had ruined you. he had ruined you from the moment you had entered the program.
but yesterday, he had really ruined you. he ruined whatever perfect balance the two of you had. you knew him, and he knew you, but now you were too involved, too emotionally attached.
you couldn’t even curb your jealously. it wasn’t about your abilities or her abilities, it was the fact that he wanted his ex-girlfriend to scrub in with him, and not you.
stephen stared at the wall. he had been staring at it since you left. assumingely, you had gone home. all of his pages went unanswered, and he knew that he had really, really fucked up.
there was a knock at the door and stephen turned, “come in.” he had hoped it was you, but he never had to welcome you in. you’d always just waltz in, carrying food and random case notes.
“i’ve been looking for your resident all day. i heard she’s the expert on the case?” dr. palmer had graced his office for the first time in a long time. stephen didn’t have the best poker face when it came to surprises, and he couldn’t hide this one.
“uh-“ he laughed slightly, blinking as he focused on her, “yeah she wasn’t feeling well today. she might’ve gone home but the case is at the nurses station.” he didn’t smile, he never did at her anymore.
christine nodded, “hey, stephen.. why did you ask me to scrub in with you? if you already have a perfectly capable resident-“
stephen shook his head, “i- i just wanted you there. i don’t know why- but,” he shrugged, “i cant trust residents, can i?”
christine laughed awkwardly, her attempt at trying to get out of this was already shot to the ground, so she just exited.
you wanted to quit. you had spent all night practicing how you’d do it. you were going to go to his office, set the resignation letter down on his desk and walk out without saying anything.
but you couldn’t even gather the courage to print your letter out. you had left the paper jammed in your printer, half inked, as you left to go to work.
“good morning.” stephen greeted you at the nurses station. it was time for the early mornings rounds. you nodded, but didn’t say anything as you walked off.
stephen chose to ignore the fact that you ignored him, and walked after you, “i am going to need any and all case notes on that patient today.”
you scoffed, “why? you never read any of my notes.” which was true. he always thought your notes were just annoying little scribbles.
“they’re for dr. palmer. she requested that she get any notes relevant to the surgery today.” he responded.
“oh, okay. i’ll drop it off at your office along with all the respect i have for you.” and you turned a corner, leaving him in the dust for rounds.
you were sitting in the cafeteria, head in your hands over your tray of food, you hadn’t even noticed the people gathering around your table.
“dude- long time no see.” you looked up to see one of your old friends that you had met during your internship, thalia. before all of this, before him.
you smiled, a real one in a long time, “we’re residents. we’re lucky if we even have clean underwear.” you joked. she smiled, “i heard you’ve been working closely with dr. strange. how is it? he’s got the hands of a god, you know.”
you blinked, almost happy to be able to get through a conversation that wasn’t plagued by stephen strange.
you blinked, hesitating with your words until it all came spilling out. “we slept together. multiple times.”
thalia’s jaw fell, practically hit the floor as she stared at you in disbelief.
“and we’re fighting right now so i’d really love it if we could just move on-“
“dr. l/n.” you turned at the sound of that voice, abruptly ending your conversation with your friend, you couldn’t hide the shock on your face to see stephen standing in front of you.
he never came to the cafeteria. he was always too good for it, and it was evident that even just his presence was shocking enough. all other conversations seemed to quiet down to complete silence.
“stephen-“
“you’re scrubbing in. dr. palmer has another surgery that will run late so-“
you nodded, “understood.”
your unwillingness to say anything more was evident, and stephen would not open that can of shit right in the middle of the cafeteria for all the underachievers to hear.
he nodded, leaving as quickly as he came.
you stared at his hands moving gracefully in the patient. he was a god, it was clear in his work, that’s why he was the way he was.
“suction.” you immediately brought down the tube in your hands, sucking at whatever he pointed at.
his glove caught on the tube, the air trying to suck up his finger. he pulled back, just as you pulled the tube away.
“oh my go-“ you stared at the tube, and turned back to stephen. he raised his eyebrows just as you dipped your head back to laugh.
stephen looked around at the rest of the staff but didn’t say anything as you finished laughing by yourself.
you let out a sigh, your laugh turned into a quiet chuckle, even as you met his eyes, you still couldn’t stifle it.
“i’m sorry.” you apologized, “that was unprofessional and it won’t happen again.” you blinked, head bowed as you waited.
but stephen didn’t say anything, he looked up to stare at you once before going back to work.
stephen asked you to meet him in his office after the surgery. you had to practically throw yourself up each step to get to his office, exhaustion weighing heavy on your bones.
you didn’t even bother to knock this time, you just pushed the door open and dragged yourself in. stephen was sitting at his desk, but he had the case files in his hands.
he looked up once he saw you, and you took a seat across his desk. “you wanted to see me?”
stephen nodded, throwing down the case files, “this is good stuff.”
you blinked. hardly did stephen ever freely give compliments. you had thought you were the worst resident until he had called you “okay” once during an assistive surgery. another surgeon had said that meant you were good.
clearly stephen knew what you were thinking, and he grimaced, “christine suggested i read them.” you hummed in acknowledgment, “and she also told me to apologize.”
you looked at him expectantly, eyebrows raised.
“i am sorry for not calling you, or texting you after..” he mumbled off, “and im sorry for kicking you out of my office, it was rude and i am so-“ he faltered and you sighed, standing up.
he watched as you strode over to his side of the desk, hips swaying in your tight scrub pants. your hand gripped the leather of his desk chair, pulling it back as you positioned yourself on his lap.
stephen watched you carefully, watched as you dragged a finger across his cheek, smiling coyly, “i accept your apology, stephen.” you hummed again, “and i am sorry for what i said.”
stephen held your hips, his large hands tightening around them so you wouldn’t fall. “it’s okay. it’s okay.” he assured you, hands moving to caress your neck, he planted a kiss on your collarbone, just underneath your scrub top.
you shivered at the contact, but you were eager for more. stephen was hardly affectionate, especially at work. it made you wonder how it all even happened in the first place, as he was always so clipped with you.
stephen kissed your neck, sucking hard on the skin that you were sure they’d bruise.
“come away with me.” he whispered, “put on a slutty little dress and come away with me tonight.” he gripped hard on your hips, and you laughed, “what? where?” you were surprised he hadn’t mentioned anything about a trip to you.
“i was nominated for an award in california. the ceremony is tonight and i was hoping that you would accompany me.” he didn’t smile, but there was a hint of one.
“publicly?” you drew your brows together, hand on his shoulder as you looked into his eyes.
“well- people would only assume that we work together. but yes, publicly.” he nodded, and you felt your stomach drop to your ass.
“uh-“ you scoffed, “yeah. sure, i’ll go.” you couldn’t hide your hesitation. the last person that stephen ‘worked’ with was christine, and people would notice.
stephen nodded, “okay. i’ll see you tonight, kid.” his lips brushed past yours as he planted a kiss on your cheek. “tease.” you commented, gripping his shoulder as you hopped off his lap.
“i’m the tease?” he grabbed your wrist and you looked at the tent in his pants. a laugh escaped you, even as you strutted out of his office.
waiting was unbearable. you found yourself glancing over to the clock hoping hours would roll by until it finally did, and you were gathering your things to head home and prepare.
stephen said that he had arranged a private flight to california, and that he and a driver would be at your apartment by 8.
“are you out of here?” thalia, standing at the end of the hallway, broke you out of your thoughts, “i heard you’re going with strange to that ceremony?” you nodded, as you met her at the end, you couldn’t hide your smile.
she nudged you, smiling, “aw im so happy for you. especially after we all thought dr. palmer would go with him.”
your smile fell immediately and you stepped back, “what? why would you think that?”
thalia shrugged, “because he asked her. i heard them in the attendings lounge, when i had gone to find my-“ she continued to ramble on but you had stopped listening. you walked past her and slammed the double doors open. she called your name, but you were already in the wind.
all you could do was practically run out of the hospital, dashing past the front desk and out the doors. you panted, feeling the ache of a sob in your chest. you walked now, breaking down in tears on the way to your car.
how could he have asked her, before he asked you?
you realized you couldn’t go home now. stephen would be there soon to pick you up, to take you to an event that you weren’t supposed to be at.
stephen paced the apartment lobby. your doorman said that he hadn’t seen you since the previous morning. your car hadn’t been parked in its designated spot either, evident of your absence.
“fuck..” stephen muttered, his fingers breezing on the screen as he tried to call you. thing was, you always called him, never the other way around so he couldn’t remember the numbers to even dial.
he scrolled through his call list but it was a sea of unknown numbers, and stephen didn’t remember the last time you called.
stephen walked back up to the doorman, “can i go look in her apartment?” the doorman raised his eyebrows and stephen sighed, “i’m her bo-“ he paused, unsure of what to call himself, he grimaced, “i am her colleague. i just-“
the doorman nodded, there was a look on his face as he looked at stephen up and down, “yeah..i know who you are.” as he spoke stephen realized that it was disdain that this doorman held for him.
but as the doorman let stephen up, he didn’t even care how you talked about him, it was that you talked about him at all.
the apartment was messy. of course it was. you were a fifth year resident who clocked in more hours at the hospital than all the combined time spent at home. but it wasn’t dirty messy, it was a barely moved in, hadn’t had time to unpack messy. the stack of broken down boxes in the corner was evident. he pursed his lips at the sight, but continued in.
your bedroom was close, he could see the edge of a mattress through a cracked door. it was barren, besides the bed and dresser, it was filled with packing peanuts and a box of hospital scrubs. he hummed, stepping out and deciding to check out the next room.
he pushed the door open, revealing a very organized office space. there was a long desk along the wall, a chalk board took up the entirety of another wall, medical scrawl was all over it. pictures of anatomy were hung up, including unknown jars of specimen.
stephen was more than intrigued, he was impressed. the rest of your apartment was messy, barely lived in, but your work was your life, and your office was clear of that.
he trailed towards the desk, a dim light shone from your desktop, and he nudged the computer mouse to turn it on.
dear stephen,
i am writing to formally tender my resignation as a fifth year resident under your tutelage…
there was a mix of worry in his mind that he hadn’t felt in a long time. the rest of the letter was just professional bullshit on your decision to leave him. you weren’t leaving the hospital, you were leaving him.
but he had to get the truth.
it had been hours since the award ceremony. hours since it would’ve started at least, looking at the clock, you knew that it was time to return home.
stephen probably didn’t even make it to your house, since you hadn’t received a single call. the area you had gone to, outside of the city, still got decent cell service, so you knew he didn’t even try.
you no longer felt the rage of being overlooked in your career and in your relationship, all you felt was the regret of believing him. you tightly gripped your steering wheel, and silently drove back home.
stephen waited silently. he had looked through your pantry, trying to find something to snack on until your arrival; he knew he’d be there all night.
but didn’t take anything, deciding that he wasn’t even hungry, just restless and angry, and as soon as he heard keys jingle at the door, he stood up.
“stephen.” you were breathless, your hand was clutching hard on your doorknob as your bag hit the floor. it landed upright, but you pushed it to the side with your foot. stephen didn’t move, watching as you cautiously stepped forward.
“what- what are you doing here?” you swallowed thickly, hands feeling clammy against the rough fabric of your hospital scrubs. you looked at him up and down, eyes lingering on his sharp suit, hands positioned at his side. “i’ve been waiting for you.”
you nodded, “i’m sorry if you missed the award-“ you felt your voice shake, afraid of how this confrontation would proceed. you kept your eyes glued to the floor, afraid to look again into his striking face.
“you think this is about that?” he scoffed incredulously, his eyes narrowing at you. you could just feel the edge in his voice, it was the same edge that had haunted you nearly all of your residency.
he took your silence for shame, and continued, “i found your letter. when were you planning to hand it in? hmm? after you assisted on a major surgery or after i was presented with an award with you by my side-“ it was your turn to scoff. you looked up, walking towards him at a speed that had you now nose to nose.
“you think that i’m proud of being second choice?” your voice broke, and you sighed, knowing just exactly how this would end. stephen’s face fell, and he looked speechless at your emotion.
you inhaled a breath, trying to calm yourself down as you fought to say your piece. “i- i had to hear from thalia, of all people, that you had originally asked christine to be your date tonight.” you felt a tear fall down your cheek, “you come in here, into my apartment, look through my things and accuse me of what? riding your success?” you spat, your voice still wavered, but you carried on, “i’ve had to be second to the greatest love of your life. and i will not continue to be.” you sniffled, looking at stephen right in the eye, “i quit. i don’t ever want to see you or that fucking hospital again.”
stephen was absolutely wordless. he didn’t even know what to do with it, and as he watched you strut down the hallway to your bedroom, he found himself following you.
you sniffled, and noticed he was right on your trail, “get out, stephen. get-“
he stayed firmly planted, and instead raised his eyebrows, “christine is not the greatest love of my life- i thought she was.” you rolled your eyes, not wanting to hear his speech, “until i met you. and i’ve been selfish. i’ve been keeping you from your potential. so you should quit, be a better surgeon under someone who-“ he faltered, and his features softened, “who doesn’t love you.”
you felt your face get hot as you tried to speak. stephen strange just told you he loved you…
“it’s okay.” he stepped forward and you found yourself stepping into his embrace. he kissed your forehead, “it’s okay.” he repeated, assuring that it in fact, was okay.
as bittersweet the moment was, you had to release all of the truth, even if you knew it would only hurt him more.
“i love you, too.” you whispered, hands gathering up his suit fabric, gripping it tightly you didn’t want to let go. but he didn’t say anything, the two of you continued to hug until you practically fell asleep in his arms.
467 notes · View notes
starlightkun · 7 months ago
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⇢ word count: 20.8k ⇢ warnings: past unethical experimentation, brief blood and gore descriptions (some human and some non-human), you have to accept the premise of a single human empire in space in the future with colonies and a military and not think deeper about that, multiple needle/injection mentions, knife/injury/blood description, main characters are morally gray, and oh yeah cursing ⇢ genre: sci-fi, set in the near-ish future, humans and aliens and robots, black op mission, captain kun, ?????? reader, slow burn, fluff, dash of angst, ft. wayv as the crew of the vision ⇢ extra info: took a lot of obvious inspo for this one from isaac asimov’s robot stories, specifically his concept of positronic brains & the three laws of robotics (and if you’ve read any of his stories, you’ll probably be able to see some other places too) ⇢ series masterlist | prev. | next
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“You deserve to know that I’m not entirely human.”
“Is that really how you feel? Inhuman?”
“There are parts of me that are… manufactured. Irrevocably altered. I don’t think I remember how it felt before I was like this.”
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The next morning, you were awake early again. You stared into the darkness, listening to Dejun’s breathing. The distant sounds of two voices started getting closer, and you perked up at this. If some of the others were up, you’d be more than happy to join them, see if they needed any help getting breakfast together.
Just as you’d swung your legs over the side of your cot to stand, you heard the distinct sound of your name float in as it sounded like they had stopped right at the campfire. They were keeping their voices low, but it did little to help with the absolute silence all around. You paused, overwhelmed with curiosity.
“I asked Xiao last night, if he thinks Y/N will ever remember.” The first voice was Kun, and you looked at the sleeping doctor in front of you curiously. You could only imagine this conversation happened before you walked into the captain’s tent last night.
“Yeah?” It was Kunhang with him. “What’d he say?”
“He can’t say for sure at this point, since he doesn’t know what caused it.”
“Useful.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Part of me hopes she doesn’t remember.” Kunhang let out a bitter sigh with his words.
“What?” Kun responded, and you imagined that his face was as bewildered as yours was right now. Why wouldn’t Kunhang want you to regain your memories?
“Dude, you saw where we found her.”
“God, yeah. The sort of shit she probably saw.”
“Or did. She’s the only survivor. You don’t exactly get through Hell by being sweet and virtuous.”
Kun’s voice was surprisingly harsh, ��We don’t know—”
“Hey, no judgment here. Who knows what she had to do to survive. I wouldn’t want to remember that either.”
“Her hands were clean when we found her.”
“A bit too clean, don’t you think?” A third voice had joined them now, Ten.
“Maybe she hid early, got out before the worst of it.” Kun was still vehemently defending you.
“You think the same person who pulls people out of the way of falling ceiling chunks without thinking is a coward?”
“I’m saying we don’t know anything.”
“And I’m just saying something’s not right about how Y/N ended up in there, Captain.”
“Nothing here is right, Ten. This facility, the experiments, the Skippers, all of it.”
“And you’re letting the only person left who might be responsible for it walk around free.”
“I wouldn’t call being stuck with all of us ‘free.’”
“But it’s not exactly a prisoner’s watch.”
“Because she’s not a prisoner. For all we know they could’ve been experimenting on her—”
“Or she’s part of that vague They we keep referring to.”
There was a moment of tense silence—or at least it sure felt strained to you from inside your tent, you had to imagine it was suffocating out there—before Kun spoke again. “We have no clue what was going on here, and no proof that she did anything. Until we know anything for certain, I’m not going to treat her like a criminal.”
“I’m not saying you have to. Look, I like her too, she seems like a nice person, but maybe—”
A loud yawn came from your roommate’s cot, and the conversation outside suddenly ceased. Dejun sat up slowly, rubbing sleep out of his eye as he let out another forceful yawn.
“Oh, morning, Y/N,” he greeted you, stretching and groaning. “Sleep okay?”
“Yeah, I uh, I just woke up,” you replied awkwardly. A couple minutes could be classified as just, you were pretty sure. “How about you? Sleep okay?”
“Mm, like a baby. You’re a much better bunkmate than Liu. Kid talks in his sleep. Recites code and equations.”
You couldn’t help but laugh a little at the mental image, momentarily distracted from the conversation you’d just been listening to. “That’s rather unfortunate for Ten and Kunhang then.”
Dejun shrugged. “Wong shouldn’t have been such a weirdo, then he might’ve been your roomie.”
He stood up then, groaning as he leaned over to touch his toes, then reached up and fully stretched his arms over his head. “Alright, breakfast?”
Ten and Kunhang had just started on breakfast when you left your tent, and apparently didn’t need any help, so with nothing better left to do and a lot on your mind, you turned down the paths between the fields. The artificial sun had already risen, full daylight around you, making it easy to keep your eyes on the ground under your feet. It wasn’t long until you heard footsteps behind you. You stopped in your tracks and turned to see who it was.
“Don’t tell me I’m late for breakfast again,” you groaned. “I’ve been gone for two minutes.”
“No, you’re not,” Kun informed you, putting his hands in his pockets as he stopped in front of you. “Can I join you? On your walk?”
You put your hands on your hips, suspicious. “Why?”
“Why do I want to walk with you?”
“Yeah. The exit doors are within view of camp.”
“I don’t think you’re trying to escape. If you managed to get out of the facility, your only two options would be a K’llor ship that you don’t know the state of, and our ship that has ZEN on it, who would never let you past the entry bay, much less off the surface. I don’t think you’re that stupid. Are you?”
“No. Glad we’re on the same page.”
“So… was that a no on the walk?”
“You didn’t answer my question, Kun,” you replied frankly. “You’re not as good at that as you think you are.”
“At what? Avoiding?”
“Yes, like you’re doing now. Why do you want to walk with me?”
“You went on a walk with Liu yesterday, did you interrogate him beforehand as well?”
“You’re still not answering my question, you’re just asking me more questions.”
He rubbed his face and sighed. “You know, never mind.”
You let out an incredulous laugh. “Really? You just fold like that?”
“Clearly you want to be alone. I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t say that. All I did was ask you a simple question that you apparently can’t answer.”
“Ten and Wong are almost done with breakfast, I’d get going on that walk if I were you.”
“Fine.” You held your hands up. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”
Five minutes wasn’t nearly long enough for your liking, but as promised, you were back at the camp for breakfast. Kun and Dejun were already discussing something when you got back, Ten and Kunhang made you a bit uneasy after the conversation you overheard this morning, so you were pleasantly surprised when the Professor intercepted you, already with two plates of food in his hands.
“Want to eat with me?” He offered. “We can talk about plans for today.”
“Sure, Professor,” you accepted the food from him gratefully.
“I don’t think the notes will be too excessive for you to go through,” he began. “ZEN came equipped with the UHN’s entire language database, including what few Outspacer glyphs they had. My notes are just additions to that gathered during this mission—it’s not my focus language back in academia, so you’re not going to be reviewing years’ worth of research or anything.”
“What is your focus language then? For your xenolinguistics?”
The Professor momentarily looked over your shoulder, then back to you. “Ourogish.”
You tilted your head curiously. “Can you… make all those sounds?”
“I speak with an accent. But it’s passable.”
So they were doing something involving Ourogos and/or the Ourogi. Didn’t help much more, but it was information.
“So any corrections, missing links, anything you can give me and ZEN will be a help,” the Professor continued.
“I mean, I don’t know how good of a teacher I’ll be… I don’t even remember learning it.”
“Don’t worry, ZEN and I are quick learners.”
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The other five left right after breakfast, and you were left with the Professor and ZEN. You took the Professor’s tablet that contained all of his notes under the shade of a tree in one of the nearby orchards. Resting your cheek in your palm, you started in on the file that had already been opened for you. You doubted ZEN would let you access anything else that was on here. The AI was projecting himself as a small cube above your knees, slowly bobbing up and down like a buoy in the ocean, but otherwise quiet as you worked.
The Professor, meanwhile, was restless, asking you what you were doing every two minutes, as he did something to the tree you were under, which you could hear by the rustling of branches and leaves.
After the fifth interruption, you finally told him through gritted teeth, “You know, Professor, this would go much faster if you didn’t stop me every two minutes.”
“Right. Sorry!” And he went back to messing with the tree.
A few moments later, he plopped down next to you, breathless, and held a plum out to you. You looked between him and the deep maroon fruit before accepting it.
“You seem off,” he said.
“What?” You mumbled, setting your plum aside.
“You seem off.”
“Do I?”
“Pissed that you have a babysitter?”
“Aren’t you pissed that you got landed with babysitting duty?”
He shrugged, taking a bite of his plum. “I’m a civvie, remember? I’d much rather stick back here and talk about a dead language than go look at a bunch of alien corpses.”
You made a noise of acknowledgment, still combing through his notes on syntax.
“So… What’d you do?”
“What?”
“To get put in time out. What’d you do that you need a babysitter?”
You let out a frustrated sigh, pushing some of your hair back from your face. “I deserve it, I know I do. It’s perfectly reasonable for Kun to stick me in camp all day but—I hate it.”
“Come on, you can tell me.” He nudged you with his elbow. “Us civvies have got to stick together, you know. What’d you do?”
“We were walking through the facility yesterday, and a piece of ceiling came loose. I didn’t even think about it, I just pulled Kun back so it didn’t hit him.”
The Professor burst into laughter, a stray drop of plum juice dribbling down his chin as he coughed through it. He sat forward, hitting himself on the chest with a fist. “Oh my God, that’s really good.”
“What’s so funny about that? I’m a liability, he had every right to leave me here with a babysitter.”
“Well, yes,” he chuckled. “If you’re going to be trying to save the guy in Class-V armor as an unarmored civilian with nothing but a rebreather, that’s a little concerning. But it’s also pretty funny. I bet that’s the first time Captain’s been genuinely surprised in years.”
“I’m glad you can see some humor in the situation.” You put your cheek back in your palm, striking out an error in his notes and starting the correction. “I think I ruined my chances of ever leaving the ag bubble again until you all take me to UHN Main for debriefing.”
“It’s not so bad in here.”
“Yeah, but… everything’s out there. Whoever I am, whatever I’ve done, whatever I wanted to do, whoever I wanted to be, is out there, was out there. And I’m stuck in here grading.”
The Professor was quiet, and for a second you were worried that he was offended at your comparison between his notes and a grade-schooler’s homework until he spoke. “Would it change anything?”
“What?”
“If you remembered? If you found out who you were, what you’ve done, what you wanted to do, who you wanted to be? Would it change anything?”
“How could it not?”
“Would you decide that’s who you are now, just because that’s who you were?”
“I-I mean, it was me. I’m not a different person just because I lost my memory.”
“How do you know? You just said, you don’t know who you were, what you’ve done, what sort of future you wanted for yourself.”
“Well…”
“Y/N, what do you want for your life?”
“To remember what it is. My life.”
“And if you can’t? Right now, what do you to do? What sort of person do you want to be?”
“I-I guess I want to be an okay person. Like, pretty good to the people around me? And, live a life that I like? I don’t know a lot about what I like, but I guess I’d figure that out, and do more of that stuff?”
“That’s good. That’s a pretty good aspiration, actually.”
“Isn’t it kind of boring?”
“A little.” He shrugged. “But maybe, the person you were before you lost your memory, didn’t want that. Maybe you wanted something that you would now consider to be bad. Imagine if the you before this wanted to kick as many puppies as possible before you died.”
“Why—”
“It’s a hypothetical. Do you want to do that, right now?”
“No, of course not.”
“If you found out, right now, that you wanted to do that before you lost your memory, would that change anything? Would you suddenly want to kick puppies?”
You crossed your arms. “No.”
“And do you want to crusade for Universal Peace until the end of your days?”
“That… sounds very tiring.”
“Yes? No?”
“Probably not.”
“So if you found out that the you before you lost your memory was dedicating your life to doing that, would you suddenly want to? Would that change anything?”
You took a deep breath. “No.”
“Obviously, it’s got to suck not remembering friends or family or anything like that. But you’re still a person without those memories, Y/N. You’re still you, just whoever you are now.”
“Thanks, Professor.” You smiled a little, spinning the stylus around in your fingers.
“Now, why did you cross that out?” He pointed to the section you had been absentmindedly correcting. “I could’ve sworn I had gotten that listing function correct.”
“You were close!”
“You completely scribbled it out.”
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That night, you were helping Ten and Kunhang prepare dinner again.
“Everything okay, Y/N?” Ten asked as the two of you shucked some corn.
“Yeah, fine,” you answered shortly, tossing a corn husk onto the pile at your feet. “Why?”
“You seem a bit…”
“Off?” You guessed.
“Yeah.”
“That’s what the Professor said earlier.”
“Something happen with the captain?” Kunhang questioned from where he was chopping up ingredients with a pocketknife and plastic container as his cutting board.
You pressed your lips together in a line before replying. “I don’t know. Why are you asking?”
“He uh, he said he was going to join you on your walk this morning. And then came back alone.”
“We had an argument, I guess. It was about nothing.”
“Y/N—”
“No, seriously, it wasn’t anything of substance.” You huffed, grabbing your next cob. “I asked him why he wanted to walk with me, he refused to answer. That’s it.”
There was an odd pause, and you turned your gaze up to see the other two exchanging a look.
Ten spoke next, “Well I’m sure being stuck in the ag bubble with the Professor all day wasn’t fun either.”
“The Professor wasn’t the problem. Sucked being put in timeout. Rightfully so, but it still sucked.” You had finished with your ears of corn, and took them over to Kunhang’s makeshift station.
“So you saved him from getting concussed by falling ceiling with no concern for your own safety, big deal,” Kunhang scoffed, gesturing wildly with both hands as he talked. “If you ask me, that kind of instinct is a good thing. Bit hypocritical for the captain to be punishing you for it anyway.”
Ten watched Kunhang waving the knife around warily. “Careful with that thing, Wong, you’re gonna—”
As Ten was talking, Kunhang had tried to spin the knife around his finger by the handle, but you knew it wasn’t going to be successful, grabbing the spinning blade before it could take his finger off. And before you even realized what you were doing. The action registered in your mind at the same time the sharp edge cutting open your palm did, and you let out a yip of surprise and pain, dropping the knife to the ground.
“—take someone’s eye out.” Ten finished his sentence almost absentmindedly, staring at you with wide eyes.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck—” Kunhang cursed as you all watched blood well up in your hand from the cut. “Captain Qian’s going to kill me.”
“Well don’t just stare, go get Xiao!” Ten scolded his teammate, getting to his feet. “Or—fuck! ZEN! Where’s Xiao? Tell him to get over here!”
“Shit, Y/N!” Kunhang was scrambling around for something. “God damn it! Don’t we have paper towels or something?”
“What the hell is going on out here?” Kun emerged from his tent, annoyed gaze quickly flitting over all three of you before zeroing in on your hand and turning hard. He made it over to you in three quick strides, taking your hand by your fingertips to avoid where your blood had started to drip down your forearm to your elbow.
He looked down at the ground, and saw the knife at your feet glinting in the firelight. “What happened?”
Ten took the lead, “Wong was—”
When the captain immediately turned on him, Kunhang quickly jumped to defend himself.
“No, no, listen, I didn’t—Okay, yes, I probably shouldn’t have been trying out tricks with the knife, but Y/N just grabbed it. I didn’t do this to her,” he pleaded with Kun, then look at you desperately. “Y/N, tell him, come on.”
Kun turned back to you, a frank eyebrow raised. You looked between the three of them and nodded. “He’s telling the truth, Kun.”
“Wong, stop doing knife tricks,” Kun ordered sharply.
Kunhang gulped. “Sir, yes sir.”
“ZEN, call off Xiao,” Kun commanded, making the other two exchange a worried look. The captain’s tone was still biting as he addressed the AI again, “Of course not, tell him I’ve got her.”
Then Kun was ushering you towards his tent, and you obliged. The flap had been clipped up when you entered, and you noted that he unhooked it after him, letting it hang closed and unzipped. He nodded towards his own cot for you to sit, and you did so hesitantly, holding your non-injured hand under your elbow to catch the blood that you were now very aware was dripping onto anything under you.
Kun rooted around in a pack at the end of the cot, then pulled up and sat on the container that had served as your seat last night when you administered his injection. He unhooked his canteen from his waist, putting a towel across his knees before he flushed the wound and washed your arm. He patted your arm dry, and grabbed a flashlight from one of his pockets to shine onto your hand to get a closer look at the cut. It was a thin slice across most of your palm, but the majority of it didn’t look too terribly deep at least. More blood rushed to the surface again as he clicked the flashlight off and put it away, grabbing his next materials.
Kun didn’t even need to speak for you to feel the disappointment seeping off of him. He silently pressed a gauze pad to the slice, and you felt both a dull pressure and sharp sting, gritting your teeth against it to avoid making a sound. As he started wrapping bandages around the site, you finally put some kind of words together.
“I don’t know who I used to be, before I lost my memory,” you started quietly, and he flicked his gaze up from your hand to your eyes for a moment before looking back down at his task. “And it’s going to take a while for me to figure out who I am now. Maybe my whole life. But I know that I can’t stand the thought of seeing anybody, any of you, getting hurt if I can do something about it.”
“You’re telling me you’re going to keep doing stuff like this?” He was still meticulously wrapping your palm.
“Yes. And you can keep me in camp, have the other guys babysit me, whatever you need to do for your mission. But I didn’t want to make some promise to you that I know I’m not going to keep.”
Kun sat up straight again, having finished with bandaging your hand. He held your gaze steadily this time. “I suppose I should thank you for your candidness, and not lying to me just to get out of here.”
“Was that you actually thanking me, or…?”
“Let’s make a deal, since I’m not keen on making you a prisoner in the ag bubble for however long we’re here, you’ve proven yourself useful, and I need my crew out there and not on… babysitting duty.”
You perked up at this. “Okay, what are the terms?”
“I assume Xiao has already asked you to give me the injections?”
“He’s mentioned it. I’m not sure why he thinks I’d convince you any better, but you need them, Kun.”
“You can give me the injections every night, no complaining, no skipping. And you can leave the ag bubble with at least one of us. But whenever you do some stupid thing like this, you come get me, okay? I’m the captain, which makes everyone here my responsibility, including you.”
You nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, I can do that.”
Kun held out a hand, and you eagerly shook it with your non-bandaged one.
“So, I will see you back here after mess then.” He stood, starting to clean up.
“See you then.” You nodded, standing and slipping back out of his tent.
The others had all returned to camp, and Dejun immediately threw his hands up in disbelief as he saw you coming back over.
“What the hell?” He reached for your arm to inspect the bandages. “First I have ZEN telling me you have a medical emergency back at camp, then thirty seconds later he’s telling me there’s direct orders from the captain that I don’t need to come back for your medical emergency because he’s going to take care of it? Did the captain go to med school in the fifteen minutes I was gone?”
“It was just a cut, Dejun,” you reassured him, nevertheless letting him turn over the injured hand. “Clean cut, no debris in the wound, it just needed to be cleaned and bandaged up.”
He rolled his eyes, letting you go. “God, why am I here? Everybody’s a doctor now!”
Mess was a quiet and short affair, and you swore Kunhang scooped out an extra big portion for you tonight. After, everyone tended to their post-mess duties, and you kept an eye on Dejun in your periphery. You weren’t sure how much the others knew about Kun's injections, so you figured intercepting him in your tent to let him know was the safest choice. When Dejun ducked into your tent, you looked at the couple dishes that Ten was still drying and you would then need to put away.
“Hey, uh, I’m sorry, but do you mind if I go ask Dejun for something?” You asked them sheepishly, hoping they wouldn’t have any questions for that extremely vague question.
“Oh, shit, your hand!” Ten looked down at it. “Yeah, of course, I’m sure your endorphins have worn off by now, it must hurt like a bitch. Go, we can finish up.”
You hadn’t really thought much about the dull, persistent pain throughout dinner. Sure, it felt a bit uncomfortable whenever you bent or closed your palm, but that wasn’t really in the forefront of your mind. After all, you having a cut palm right now was much more manageable than Kunhang missing a finger for the rest of his life.
You bit down on your lip, feeling a little bad about misleading them, but then shot them a quick smile. “Thanks, guys.”
Hurrying over to your tent, you barely caught Dejun before he left, nearly toppling him over, in fact.
“Jeez, Y/N, see a ghost?” He stumbled back. He was still in his casual clothes, one of his medic packs around his hips like usual.
“No, sorry, didn’t mean to hit you,” you apologized. “I just wanted to find you before you went to Kun’s tent.”
“Why? Everything okay with your hand?” He asked.
“Huh?” You looked down at your hand, having once again forgotten that it was injured for a moment. “Oh, no, I’m okay—”
“I don’t mean to be abrasive, but can it wait? It usually takes at least fifteen minutes of coercion on a good day before he’ll let me do it. If he even does.”
“That’s why I’m here. Kun agreed to let me give him the injections. Every night, no complaining and no skipping,” you explained, watching as his face turned into a deep frown. “That’ll be okay, right? It’s just med-pods, those are designed for soldiers to use on themselves and each other in the field with no medical training.”
“Yeah, I’ve just been doing it because it’s kind of a weird angle for him to get to on his own, and I couldn’t trust him to do it every night himself.” Dejun slowly unzipped the pack, still with that same look on his face.
“Then… what’s wrong? You look worried.”
“Captain Qian just agreed to let you do the injections? Out of the blue?”
“We did make a deal,” you admitted, watching as he pulled a couple things out of the pack.
Dejun’s eyes shot up to yours as he placed a med-pod and alcohol wipe in your clean hand. “And what was your end? Stop catching flying knives with your bare hands?”
“Not quite… We both know I’ll probably do something like that again, so—”
“House arrest? Can’t leave the ag bubble until the mission is over?”
“When I leave the ag bubble, I have to be with one of you guys.”
Dejun didn’t conceal his unimpressed look very well. He probably wasn’t trying to.
“And when I do something like this again,” you held up your injured hand, “I have to tell him, since he’s responsible for everyone.”
The doctor rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Uh-huh. Go, I don’t want to give snark to the wrong person.”
“What—”
“Go. You need to give the captain his injection, remember?”
“Right. Uh, see you in a bit.” You tucked the materials into your pocket before ducking out of your tent.
The entrance to Kun’s tent was still down and unzipped, and you stopped outside, having learned your lesson last night. Hesitantly, you called out his name instead.
“Come in.”
You quickly parted the flap and slipped inside.
Kun was sitting on his cot already, and when he had appraised that you were alone, you saw his features contort from their usual stoic default to a slight wince. You pulled up the container seat next to him, and gestured for him to lie down.
“How’s your hand?” He asked, staying upright as he reached for your extremity.
“It’s fine, Kun,” you informed him, letting him look over the bandages. “Honestly, I keep forgetting about it, it barely even hurts.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Now come on, your turn.” You took your hand back and pointed insistently at the cot.
He grabbed at his lower back and huffed a little bit as he maneuvered around to lay on his front. You frowned thoughtfully as he pulled up the hem of his shirt for you.
“Is the med-pod as effective as before?” You questioned, opening the disinfectant wipe.
“How do you mean?”
You delicately wiped the area, careful not to touch his skin with your fingers. “Is it wearing off faster? Does it not relieve as much pain as before?”
“I can’t be using up all our supplies.”
“Is that a yes?”
“One is fine.”
“But two would be more effective.”
“I can’t be using twice as many as before. If someone else needs them—”
“The UHN won’t resupply your vessel?”
He sighed. “They will. I’m just—I don’t know. I’m used to scarcity and self-reliance. Must be a Dura-Jil boy thing.”
You lined the med-pod up, and like last night, didn’t give a countdown before pressing the start button. “Is this your first crew?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“Because you said you’re used to self-reliance. If you’d been a captain for a while, you would have gotten used to relying on others, wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, they are,” he chuckled fondly. “I do rely on them. Or I’m learning to, I guess.”
There was a pause, and as you watched the med-pod drain you felt a sense of urgency, not wanting to waste the opportunity you had in front of you. The conversation you’d heard this morning was still on your mind.
“What if it turns out that I was involved in whatever was going on here? Did horrible stuff…” You asked tentatively. “Then what’ll you do?”
“I don’t think you were,” he replied simply.
“You don’t know. I don’t know.”
“Call it a hunch.”
“I won’t resist, or try to escape. Whatever the UHN wants to do with me, I’ll comply fully,” you declared, quiet but firm in your convictions.
He turned to look at you over his shoulder, brow furrowed. “Why are you talking like you’ve already been put on trial and found guilty? You just said it yourself, we don’t know anything. Either way.”
“Yeah, but we know they weren’t doing good things here… and I’m here.”
“No, we don’t even know what they were doing here. Somebody made sure of that. Besides, you could’ve been scrubbing the floors for all we know. I don’t think you deserve the death sentence for that.”
“I doubt they had people scrubbing the floors…” You pointed out.
“I’m just saying, there’s other reasons you could’ve been here, Y/N.”
“Like… being experimented on.”
“I didn’t want to say anything.” His gaze and his tone softened. “Do you… You don’t remember anything like that, do you?”
“No, I don’t have any episodic memories before meeting you. But that’s what you were thinking, right? That I was either the experimenter or the subject?”
“You weren’t wearing a lab coat when we found you, and you don’t have a neural port.”
“Dejun doesn’t have a neural port, and he’s UHN.”
“We don’t know enough to think anything about anything, okay?”
“ZEN should be finished with synthesizing the Outspacer into his translation program by morning. We can go through the computer tomorrow,” you reiterated yours and the Professor’s report from the pre-mess meeting. “With any luck, there will be employee profiles.”
“And what will you be hoping to find in them?”
“The truth.” The med-pod clicked off then, and you reached out to grab the empty device. “Whatever that is.”
Kun sat up, keeping his eyes on you as you went to stand. Your task was done for the night, so was your time with him.
“Why do you seem so convinced that you were involved?” He questioned, drawing you back into conversation and stopping you from leaving entirely.
“I… know too much, Kun.” You shook your head. “Why do you seem so convinced that I wasn’t?”
“You said it yourself, Y/N. You can’t stand the thought of seeing anybody get hurt if you can do something about it. I find it hard to believe that you’d do something like… whatever what going on here.”
“Dejun said that humans can do really bad stuff if they think they’re doing the right thing. Even to each other. Maybe I just thought it was the right thing.”
“Maybe,” Kun shrugged. “Or maybe you didn’t do anything. What were you two talking about? When he said that.”
“Your skeletal enhancements,” you admitted.
“I see.”
“Do you know how much longer your mission here will be?” You asked. “When can you get your next adjustment? Dejun said it happens at UHN Main, so it’ll be when you drop me off after this, right?”
“No, I don’t know how much longer this mission will take,” he replied. “It depends on what you and ZEN find on that computer tomorrow. And yes, it’ll be at UHN Main.”
“Then ZEN and I will just have to be quick.”
“Don’t rush for my sake,” he warned, an edge to his voice. “We need to make sure we get everything from here. I can wait.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Fine. But I’m bringing two med-pods tomorrow, and you’re taking both of them, no complaints, no skipping. Understood?”
The corner of his lip twitched as he nodded. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Kun.”
And with that, you left his tent. Back in your own, you gave the med-pod back to Dejun, filling him in on Kun’s condition.
“It’s getting worse,” you told the doctor, keeping your voice hushed. “The medication wears off faster and isn’t as effective. I think he needs two.”
“Damn it…” He sighed, zipping the pack up. “Yeah, start taking two tomorrow. Stupid son of a bitch. I told him not to skip his last tune-up.”
“Do you have any idea how much longer he can go without one before… it gets worse?”
“No.” Dejun informed you shortly, running a hand through his hair. “No clue. This is the longest he’s missed one before.”
“Oh no…”
“Yeah. Like I said, stupid son of a bitch.”
“This mission… He really believes it’s that important? More than him? Than his health?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately. “The program he was in… Let’s say he didn’t just get some skeletal enhancements and cool armor. You should ask him about it.”
You were quiet, and Dejun plopped himself back down onto his cot. You silently put yourself to bed, staring up at the ceiling of the tent listlessly as Dejun put out the lamp, plunging you into the darkness of night.
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Resting your cheek in the palm of your injured hand, you tapped the edge of the keyboard with your fingernail anxiously as you waited. ZEN had to break off another fragment with his new Outspacer translation update, then join those two fragments together once plugged into the computer. And of course, the fragment(s) in the computer were asynchronous with the one in the crew’s HUDs and the Professor’s tablet, so there was no way for you to get an update from the ZEN that could actually vocalize anything. The computer had no microphone or speakers that you could see, only the keyboard, mouse, and monitor in front of you. You couldn’t even see the end of where the wires led, the actual computer itself. ZEN was plugged into a docking station at the base of the monitor.
The entire crew was in the robotics lab. Some milling around behind where you were sat at the computer, a couple others looking at the defunct robots in the side room.
Yangyang walked up behind you, one of the schematics books in his hands again.
“I didn’t know you were ambidextrous,” he commented conversationally, his eyes on the pages.
“What?” You looked up at him questioningly.
“Your hand,” he gestured to the bandaged one, “You caught the knife with that one, but you’re using the computer with the other. I don’t think my first instinct would be to catch a flying knife with my non-dominant hand. Well, it wouldn’t be to catch it all, but still.”
You looked down at your hand that was hovering over the mouse. “Oh. I don’t know, I guess.”
“What do you make of this?” He pointed to a drawing.
“It… looks like a hand. A prosthetic?”
“There’s no indication of anything mechanical, why’d you jump to prosthetic?”
“You found it in a robotics lab. I didn’t think they’d be doing anatomy practice for fun.”
“Robot-people…” Ten muttered under his breath.
A small window popped up in the bottom right of the right then, a chat box.
ZEN: I’m ready.
Y/N: How are we dividing this?
ZEN: I can review data without interrupting you.
Y/N: I’ll start in the first folder, you start at the last, we’ll work our way towards the middle?
ZEN: I’ll let you know if I find anything of interest.
Clicking into the first folder, ‘Robotics,’ you skimmed through the subfolder options. They were mainly named with seemingly incomprehensible codes, combinations of glyphs and numbers that made no sense. You randomly clicked into the first one anyway, and were presented with more subfolders. These were simply labeled in trial phases and sub-phases: Phase 0.1, 0.1.2, 1.0, 1.3, 1.5, 2.0.3. You again clicked on the very first one, 0.1, and were greeted with nothing. It was empty, not a single file to actually review. You clicked back out and selected the next one, 0.1.2. Empty again. Narrowing your eyes at the display, you clicked on 1.0, hoping that they had just maybe moved all of those into the succeeding phase. Nothing.
Letting out a huff, you clicked back into the chat window.
Y/N: ZEN, do any of the folders I’m looking in actually have anything?
ZEN: No.
Y/N: In the entire Robotics folder?
ZEN: No data.
You groaned, going back out to the main menu.
“What?” Kun questioned as you clicked into ‘Synthetic Biology.’
“That folder was purged. It’s just empty subfolders,” you informed them with a sigh.
“What were the subfolders?” Yangyang asked with interest.
“The main branches were just random glyphs? And then each main folder had even more subfolders with phases.”
“Must have been project names. Maybe serial numbers?” The roboticist suggested. “Can you go back?”
You did as he asked. “Now what?”
“Just read the first one for me? The individual glyphs, not as a sentence.”
“Blue, red, add, inside-of, twelve hundred. As in the time, not one-thousand and two hundred.”
“Noon?”
“Well, yeah,” you nodded. “But I figure everyone used twenty-four-hour time around here, right?”
“What are you thinking, kid?” Kunhang asked knowingly.
“Assuming it’s meant to be read as noon, translated back out and using only the first letters… B-R-A-I-N. Brain.”
The Professor lit up at this. “A code within a code! What’s the next one?”
You read it off, “Cube, add, sun, inside-of, noon, green. Casing?”
“Positronic brain casing. Like the sketch!” Yangyang practically ran to get the other sketchbook. “That must have had the actually specs and computer modeling of it. These sketches are just conceptual.”
“It’s a robotics lab, it’s not a surprise that they would’ve had positronic brains here,” Dejun pointed out frankly.
“Keep going, Y/N, he hates fun,” Yangyang urged you on, the Professor right on your other side with his tablet.
You read out all of the glyphs, every so often needing input from the others to find a more colloquial synonym in standard human that would actually make a real word. By the time that you were done with all of the folders, ZEN had popped up in your chat window again.
ZEN: I believe I may have found something of interest.
Y/N: Can you display it?
ZEN: Certainly.
And seemingly on its own, the computer went into the Facility folder, then into one of the subfolders. Before you could even begin to work through the nonsense Outspacer code, ZEN had already translated it for you.
ZEN: Employee files, by department. The personnel files themselves are no longer in here, but the comms directory survived.
“ZEN found something,” you announced to the others. “Employee directory. He says the actual personnel files are gone, but the comms directory is here.”
“So we’ve got a partial list of who was here,” Kun surmised. “Whoever had their own extension, at least.”
ZEN brought it up for you, and you skimmed through the names quickly, looking only for one. When you got to the end, however, despite not having seen your own name there, you still couldn’t let out the breath you were holding. This was only a partial list, after all. You could’ve just as easily worked here and not had an extension on the comms directory.
“Are those… pager numbers?” Dejun asked, leaning in over your shoulder to squint at the screen suspiciously. “On the second page. The first page are all three-digit comms extensions, presumably department heads and general-use areas, but this looks like a list of individual pager numbers.”
“They don’t look different than any old phone numbers, why would they be pager numbers?” Kun asked.
“Well, cell phones are entirely outdated with interstellar travel, but in the medical field, we still use pagers for quick communication within facilities. It doesn’t get clogged up with everything that’s in a HUD, they’re a cheap and efficient way to get short bursts of information from person-to-person. Medical facilities will usually set up their own short-range tower that’s only used by pagers issued by that facility to providers,” he explained. “The only thing on this planet is this facility, pagers solve intra-facility communication issues, and prevent anything from being sent out. Nowadays, ships don’t have receivers to pick up this kind of signal, if they even got close enough. They’d only be able to send messages from pager-to-pager here.”
“Everyone can talk to each other, but can’t send information to outsiders,” the captain paraphrased.
“Hold on a second,” Kunhang announced before abruptly leaving the room.
Everyone watched the door after him in confusion, occasionally looking around to see if anybody else was going to do something. You assumed the others who still had their helmets on could see what he was doing in their HUDs, as a couple let out noises of disgust, then a few moments later Kunhang burst through the door. He was triumphantly holding up a small grey rectangle, no bigger than the palm of his hand.
“Here!” He thrust it out towards Dejun. “Is this a pager?”
“I could’ve told you that without you pulling it off a dead body…” The doctor sighed, removing his own helmet before taking the small device into his hands anyway. As he turned it over, you saw several dark splotches on it. “Yes, this is a pager. They probably gave one to everyone working here.”
Your eyes quickly went back to the screen, to reread the list more closely this time. Nothing, again.
You went back to the chat window.
Y/N: Have you found anything else? We got stuck back in Robotics.
ZEN: No data in Synthetic Biology, Administrative, and Support. Facility still has files in it.
Y/N: What else is in there besides the directory?
ZEN: Maintenance history, blueprints of the entire facility, emergency protocols.
Y/N: What sorts of emergencies?
ZEN: Fire, severe surface weather, emergent stratospheric weather, alien invasion, human invasion. I can’t translate the final one.
Y/N: Pull it up.
With the first page of the mystery emergency protocol on the screen, you immediately realized that this gibberish must be in the code again, and went back to read the title again.
“Sun, cube, red, under, blue, blue, inside-of, noon, green. Scrubbing?” You squinted at the screen. “There’s no way this is a cleaning manual…”
Y/N: Scrubbing? Does that make sense with the rest of the document?
ZEN: It does not contain instructions for cleaning.
Y/N: What is in it?
ZEN: I do not believe I was equipped with many of these glyphs, and my algorithm is having trouble extrapolating reasonable suggestions for them without enough contextual words.
Y/N: You really just have a bunch of grammar and mostly food vocabulary, not a full dictionary. It’s okay, I’ll skim.
“You’re typing a lot,” Yangyang observed. “Is scrubbing good? Bad? What’s happening?”
“ZEN found the emergency protocols. There’s the usual stuff, though the addition of a ‘human invasion’ protocol at this human research facility is rather interesting,” you informed the others, scrolling to the next page of the document. “There’s one that he couldn’t translate the name of, though. He doesn’t have enough vocabulary to make any sense of the inside, either.”
“Scrubbing,” Kunhang determined. “And you said it’s not for cleaning? Maybe it’s like a hazmat thing?”
“No…” You shook your head, looking over just the headers. “This is definitely about… computers? Wait, and fire….?”
“Data,” Kun interrupted. “It’s about purging all classified data from a facility, digital and physical. That’s what scrubbing is.”
You all looked at each other knowingly. It was Kun who said what everyone was thinking, however.
“The Skippers interrupted the facility before they could finish scrubbing. The question is why they started the scrub in the first place.”
“It says here only two people can order a… scrub.” You read off the protocol stiltedly. “The… Sorry, give me a second.”
“Are you okay?” Kun had made his way to the front of the group, next to the chair you were in.
You pushed the heel of your palm against the space between your brows, squeezing your eyes shut. “Yeah, fine. It keeps switching back and forth between normal Outspacer and that code, it’s giving me a headache to read.”
“They probably used the code whenever there wasn’t a good Outspacer approximate for the word they wanted to use,” the Professor suggested, his voice rising with excitement. “It’s like… a pidgin of Outspacer and standard human with sneaky intelligence code thrown in. God, this is so fascinating!”
“Can ZEN or the Professor do the code?” Kun grabbed your shoulder, gently turning you away from the computer.
“I’d love to take a crack at it!” The Professor rubbed his hands together excitedly.
You let Kun usher you to your feet, and the Professor hurriedly took your seat. Dejun met you and Kun at the back of the group, a frown on his features.
“How’s the pain? Same kind as before?” The doctor asked.
“Yeah, same pressure,” you confirmed, still holding your head. “Not as bad, though.”
“I keep telling you and everyone else that you need to let your brain rest. And what do you do? Teach an AI a dead alien language, decode ciphers in said dead alien language…”
“Right. Sorry…”
“You can’t give her anything?” Kun questioned. “At least for the headache? She’ll rest tomorrow.”
“I’m fine,” you insisted. “It’s already going away. Save your supplies.”
“Y/N—”
“I don’t really have anything for minor bumps on me,” Dejun interrupted before Kun could escalate your bickering. “That’s back on the Vision. Just took the essentials down.”
“Admiral!” The Professor yelled out enthusiastically. “Only the Admiral, and the… Research Director can order a scrub.”
“Is that all it says? Just Admiral? Not Rear Admiral, or Vice Admiral, or Fleet Admiral?” Kun questioned.
“The Admiral, or an Admiral?” You added.
The Professor looked back at the screen as if double-checking his work. “Definitely the Admiral. I’m assuming that would be whichever one was overseeing this facility? Doesn’t give a name. And it’s just Admiral. But there’s two kinds of scrubs, actually. A partial and a full scrub.”
“What’s the point of a partial scrub?” Ten asked. “Why would you destroy only some confidential stuff, but not all of it? Isn’t the point to leave nothing behind?”
“Don’t know, but the partial scrub protocol only has them spare one thing.”
“Must be pretty damn important,” Kunhang commented. “What is it? A port-drive or something?”
“I doubt many of the personnel here had neural ports,” Dejun said. “They were scientists. I’ve only seen a couple on bodies since we’ve been here, and they were clearly soldiers.”
“Well? Does it say?” Yangyang prompted the Professor.
“Yeah, but it’s about as helpful as ‘Admiral’ was,” he sighed. “‘Proof of concept.’ A partial scrub preserves the proof of concept, with some of its own security protocols in place.”
“Proof of what concept? We don’t even know what they were trying to do here,” Dejun scoffed, rubbing a hand over his face.
Yangyang seemed interested again, though. “The proof of concept has its own security protocols? Is there any indicator if they’re internal or external? Like if it’s locked up somewhere, or if it might be… programmed into the proof itself?”
“No, it doesn’t say,” the Professor answered.
“What are you thinking, Liu?” Kun prompted the younger man.
“If it’s some kind of… robot, then they could program whatever security protocols they needed into it to make it secure for this partial scrub, without completely destroying all their years of work. But if it was… biological, it would probably need some kind of external security to not only prevent the wrong people from finding it, but also stop it from uh, escaping…”
“And what if it was a person-robot?” Ten replied.
The roboticist shook his head. “They just say proof of concept. That’s usually not anywhere close to the final product. I can’t imagine they actually made a person-robot, whatever that entails. After all, the ag bubble was still set for humans when we got here. And proofs of concept aren’t meant to be a fleshed-out prototype of the final product, either. They’re just supposed to test one or two functions of it and be thrown away after.”
“But this one was worth risking a security breach over,” Kun pinched the bridge of his nose. “Professor, in the full scrub protocol, does it say when the proof would be destroyed? First? Last?”
“Uhm…” He went back to the screen, scrolling and squinting at it for a moment before answering. “First.”
That garnered a few groans from the soldiers around you, but you saw the Professor suddenly perk up as he continued through the document.
“What is it?” You asked. “Something else?”
“That’s not the only difference between a partial and full scrub. The order’s different. I guess since a full scrub is a little more scorched-Earth and a partial scrub has to leave at least some kind of either digital or physical infrastructure for the proof… I think we can figure out if they were doing a partial or full scrub before the Skippers got here.”
“What’s the difference?”
“There’s a lot of things that happen simultaneously, Robotics destroying digital data while SynthBio destroys physical specimens…” The Professor hummed as he continued skimming. “But in a full scrub, the entire facility would be burned at once. In a partial, they only have directions to burn certain areas: the two labs, the Research Director’s office, places like that.”
“So there’s no individual fires in the full scrub?” Kun clarified. “It would all go up at once?”
“Yeah, just one big boom at the end.”
You all looked at each other knowingly, then at Kun expectantly.
“So they were doing a partial scrub,” he declared. “Which means we need to find that proof of concept.”
“We don’t know what it could even be, what it looks like, if it’s physical or digital,” Ten pointed out.
“It’s the best lead we’ve got. Has anybody seen anything out of the ordinary?”
“Uh… Everything?” Kunhang said pointedly.
“Very helpful, Wong, thank you,” the captain retorted. “Come on, guys, anything?”
“Was there anything in that safe room with Y/N?” Yangyang offered. “When you found her? Only survivor… might’ve taken the proof into the safe room with her.”
Kun immediately shot it down, “No.”
“Wong?” Ten focused on the other Marine. “You might’ve had a better… perspective than the captain. You see anything in there?”
“I don’t remember seeing anything, no,” he shook his head. “But it can’t hurt looking a second time. We’re going to have to search the entire place anyway, right, Captain?”
“Yeah, top to bottom,” Kun confirmed shortly. “Again.”
“Yippee…” Ten grumbled.
“But I want that entire document translated first, and for us to finish going through all of the files,” he added sternly. “We need to know everything we can about what we’ll even be looking for before we searching.”
“ZEN and I will get right on it,” the Professor nodded.
“And the rest of us are just going to… watch him read?” Kunhang asked.
Kun took his helmet off and set it down on a nearby counter. “Afternoon off. Congrats, don’t kill yourselves.”
The others started celebrating, Kunhang, Ten, and Yangyang already launching into discussions of what they’d do with the free time as they headed towards the exit. They stopped at the door as they seemed to notice that you, Kun, and Dejun hadn’t moved.
“Hey, you guys coming?” Kunhang called out. “I don’t think the Professor needs you three watching over his shoulder.”
“I figured I’d stay, in case he needed any help,” you admitted.
“No,” Kun shook his head. “You’re going to rest. Doctor’s orders, remember?”
“I won’t be the one translating, just in case he hits a snag with a glyph or something,” you argued.
“He’s got ZEN. Two of him, technically. If he really needs you, he’ll let those at the ag bubble know and you can come back.”
You let up with a huff. “Fine. Are you coming then, Kun? You haven’t reached for your helmet.”
“I will.”
“So you get to stay but I don’t?”
“Yes. Because Xiao hasn’t said I need to rest my injured brain.”
“But you—” You bit your tongue before you could bring up his enhancements. He raised his eyebrows almost in a challenge, and you simply narrowed your eyes at him. “I will come looking for you if you’re not back at the ag bubble in an hour.”
“I get a whole hour? How gracious.”
As you went to join the other guys by the door, you saw that Dejun was still in the same place. “Dejun, come on, not you too?”
“I’ll be there in less than an hour, swear it. Just need to talk to the captain about something,” your tentmate reassured you. “I’ll be right behind you.”
“Stop worrying about them, Y/N,” Yangyang ushered you towards the door. “I told you, Xiao hates fun, and the captain’s a workaholic.”
“The river’s fine for swimming, right?” Kunhang questioned, pulling the door open.
“We’ve been drinking from it, I would hope so,” Ten snorted, following after him.
“No, I mean, there’s nothing living it, right?”
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“If there was, don’t you think we would’ve had a smoked salmon dinner at this point?” Ten and Wong’s voices faded away as the door closed behind the four of them, leaving just the Professor, the two ZEN fragments, Xiao, and the captain.
“What do you need, Xiao?” The captain questioned, leaning against a countertop.
The Professor was utterly locked into his task at the moment, and Captain Qian was used to seeing the civvie in such a state. Practically impossible to disturb, even by his own normal bodily needs—sleep, food, hygiene, it would all go to the wayside if he was allowed. So really, it felt like it was just him and Xiao. And ZEN, of course, but the AI’s constant presence was an unspoken fact of their lives at this point, so ingrained that he accepted that there was pretty much no privacy from ZEN at the end of the day, only from the other humans aboard the mission. Which was interesting as to why Xiao had picked this moment to get such privacy.
“Your deal, with Y/N,” Xiao began frankly.
“What about it? I’m getting the injections, figured you’d be thrilled,” the captain replied with a tilted head.
“I’m trying to figure out what you actually get out of it, Captain,” the lieutenant wagged a finger at him. “Because Y/N gets to give you your injections, which was a concern of hers, not yours; she gets to leave the ag bubble; and you didn’t even make her promise not to catch knives with her bare hands anymore.”
“She does stuff like that without thinking, it would’ve been pointless to make her promise not to do it anymore.”
“Which makes her a liability, Captain.”
“She’s an asset,” Captain Qian retorted.
“Because she can read Outspacer? She’s already taught ZEN and the Professor,” Xiao gestured to the man still at the computer pointedly.
“They’re not fluent.”
“Barely. And anything they don’t know, they can bring back to her. Like you just suggested.”
After the Professor, Xiao was the team member that the captain had known for the longest, he could tell that the doctor was slowly circling his actual argument. “What is your point, Xiao?”
“Is she really more of an asset than a liability?”
“I can’t afford to have one of you on babysitting duty every day.”
“We can switch out. Morning and afternoon shifts.”
The captain arched an eyebrow curiously as he studied the other man. “I figured you would’ve been one of the last people to be doing this. I thought you liked Y/N.”
“I do, which is why I don’t want her to do something worse than cut her palm,” Xiao sighed.
“I don’t either, but she told me quite plainly that she won’t stop.”
Xiao looked like he was about to pull his hair out. “Captain, a civilian tells you in no uncertain terms that they will endanger themselves and your mission, and you strike a deal to continue letting them?”
“She’s not… It was a judgment call, Xiao,” he declared sharply.
“And I’m still thinking about what you get out of the deal…” The doctor was pacing now, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Whenever she gets hurt, she has to go to you?”
Captain Qian shifted in place, stretching out his neck and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m the Captain, you’re all my responsibility—”
“Injured people are my responsibility. What do you get out of patching up a civvie every time she hurts herself?” Xiao scoffed.
“I need to know how often she’s—”
“You like her,” Xiao breathed out in realization, coming to a stop.
“Excuse me?”
“That’s the only way for that stupid deal to make sense. You actually like her as a person instead of her just being some civvie that’s in the way of the mission. So she can leave the ag bubble, but you still want one of us with her for protection. And when she does stupid things—which you’re smiling about right now, you like that about her—” Xiao pointed to the faint smile on the captain’s face victoriously, “—you want to personally make sure she’s okay after.”
The captain had regained control of his features, staring at his teammate neutrally. “Are you done?”
“No denial?”
“I’m not going to engage with your baseless speculation,” Captain Qian replied, his voice sounding unnaturally tight. “So if that’s all, then you can go.”
“Didn’t really sound like a no to me.” The doctor was grinning now.
“That would imply that your theory was something worth denying. Which I’ve already established, it isn’t.”
“Oh my god, you’re an awful liar, Captain,” Xiao peered at him, delight on his own features. “At least about this, because I know you’re way better on missions.”
“Since you’ve forced my hand…” he sighed, Xiao leaning forward to listen eagerly. “You’re dismissed. Formally. Officially. Goodbye.”
Xiao chuckled as he hoisted his own helmet back up and onto his head, meandering towards the exit. “Alright, alright. See you in a few, Captain.”
And that just left him, the ZENs, and the Professor. The captain rubbed his face with exasperation, turning his focus back towards the computer screen. The utter silence that he had been hoping for was short-lived, however.
“So… Y/N, huh?” The Professor asked, and despite the fact that his back was still to him, Captain Qian could hear the grin in his voice.
“Aren’t you supposed to be translating?” He snapped.
“I can multi-task.”
“And be slower than if you didn’t. So focus.”
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You were sat by the riverside, dangling your feet into the cool water as Ten, Kunhang, and Yangyang all swam around. Dejun had come back some time ago, alone, and was sitting next to you as he continued reading On the Ethics of Robotics. You were straining your ears as you listened for the sound of the door of the ag bubble to open, occasionally looking over your shoulder at it.
“He’ll be here, Y/N,” Dejun stated after the fourth time you had glanced at the door. He hadn’t looked up from the text, but apparently could read your mind.
“It’s been fifty-two minutes,” you replied derisively. “According to Yangyang, he’s a workaholic, and according to you, he’s a stubborn, bad patient. Excuse me for doubting that he’ll be eagerly participating in taking an afternoon off. Especially when some of his crew is still working.”
“That’s all true. But you forgot one crucial part.”
“And what is that?”
Dejun flipped a page. “He told you he would.”
“He said he’d be here, at some point in time. I’m the one who put the hour-limit on him, which he didn’t exactly agree to.”
“And yet, he didn’t tell you no, either.” Your companion said, the corner of his mouth twitching, as if he found something amusing. You doubted there was anything in that treatise that was exceptionally humorous. “He’ll be here, Y/N.”
“Can I ask what you needed to talk to him about?”
“You can ask. But that’s a different question than if I’ll answer.”
“I just… wanted to know if it’s about—” You looked at the other three, thoroughly engrossed with trying to splash and dunk each other in ways that were definitely unfair to poor Yangyang, who lacked anywhere near the same combat experience that Ten and Kunhang had. You leaned over to whisper to Dejun, “—the enhancements. If he’s okay.”
Dejun let out a chuckle, as if any of this were funny. “No, it wasn’t about that. He’s quite alright.”
You were able to relax a little with this confirmation. “Okay. Thank you.”
“How’s your hand, by the way?”
“Oh, it’s fine. I don’t even think about it,” you said, flexing your injured palm. “Doesn’t hurt.”
“Good. You should ask Captain Qian to change your bandage tonight.”
You looked at the doctor next to you with confusion. “Why…? But you’re… You were just ranting about how you’re the doctor here, not him.”
“Like you said, it’s just a cut. Don’t need an MD to change a bandage. Captain’s perfectly capable for something like that.”
“I suppose. But what’s with the change of heart of all of a sudden?”
“I have a feeling he’ll want to check on you personally, even if I were to change your bandage now. No point in changing it just for him to reapply a fresh one in a couple more hours anyway.”
It was then that you heard the front door to the ag bubble open, and you snapped your head around to look. You immediately recognized Kun by his gait, before he even took his helmet off.
“Fifty-four minutes…” You muttered to yourself.
“Told you,” Dejun said in a sing-song voice.
You continued watching as Kun disappeared into his tent, zipping it shut behind him. After a couple minutes, he reemerged, out of his armor and in his usual casual clothes. Instead of joining you and the others by the riverside, you frowned as you watched him take off on the trails between the crops, in the opposite direction from you all.
With a frown, you scrambled to your feet, giving the doctor a distracted goodbye as you went off after Kun. It didn’t take you very long to catch up to him as you cut through the grass as you made a beeline towards him.
“Hey,” you called out when you got close enough to him.
“Hey,” he replied over his shoulder, not slowing down or stopping for you.
“What are you doing?”
“Going on a walk.”
“Can I— Can I walk with you?”
He abruptly stopped and pivoted on his heel, turning to you curiously. You skidded to a stop in front of him.
“Why do you want to?” He questioned.
“So you don’t have to answer that question, but I do?”
“Just curious.” He shrugged, then jerked his head in invitation before he started walking again. “I won’t make you answer. It would be a bit hypocritical of me.”
“So how’s it going? The translation?” You easily kept up with his much more meandering pace now.
“The Professor seemed to be enjoying himself.”
“Anything useful? About what the proof of concept is? Or otherwise?”
“Not that he said. But he’s not very talkative when he gets like that.”
“Oh, okay.”
After a few moments of silence, Kun spoke again, “I’m sorry about this morning. It was… I had no good reason to not answer your perfectly reasonable question. I was just caught off-guard. I shouldn’t have been so abrasive about it.”
“Well, thank you. For apologizing.”
“The truth is, I don’t know why I wanted to walk with you. It wasn’t any sort of suspicion, I just saw you going and wanted to go with you. Nothing more.”
“Oh.” You looked down at your feet, once again struggling to not let it immediately go to your head. “I can understand that. When I saw you start walking, I wanted to go too.”
He smiled in just the slightest. “And here we are.”
“Would you mind telling me more about Dura-Jil?” You asked hesitantly.
“Why are you so curious about Dura-Jil?”
“I suppose… I’m curious about you. And where you came from,” you admitted quietly. “And you talk about it so fondly, it’s nice to see you not stressing about what’s going on right now.”
“You know, this really isn’t fair,” he shook his head with a chuckle. “You can ask me all sorts of stuff, but you never have to tell me any embarrassing childhood stories.”
“I didn’t ask specifically for embarrassing ones!” You protested. “And I would tell you if I could remember!”
“That’s okay, I’ll supply the nostalgia for now.” Kun looked up ahead, eyes seemingly focused on one area in particular. “We had to get all of our food imported from Earth. We had no farms, no ag bubbles, nothing. That was the first thing smuggled in, really. Food. Specialty stuff, higher-quality stuff than what was usually imported. I still remember the first time I had a strawberry.”
It was then that you saw what he was looking at, a strawberry field that was growing closer and closer.
“I… don’t remember ever having a strawberry,” you stated. “How old were you? The first time you had a strawberry?”
“The actual fruit, nine or ten. I’m pretty sure we’d gotten our hands on strawberry jam before that, though.” He stopped at the edge of the field, the plants nearby all dotted with bright red fruit. “My mom tried growing her own plant from some of the seeds, but as soon as she had to move the seedling outdoors, the climate froze it dead.”
Kun deftly plucked a handful of strawberries off the plant, and offered the gleaming rubies out towards you. You accepted one, then he took one into his other hand by the leaves, bringing it up to his mouth. You followed his lead, taking a bite. The bright, tart, sweetness was a pleasant surprise, and you decided that you quite liked strawberries, too.
“Ooh, that’s good,” Kun commented, dropping the uneaten leaves back onto the soil. “My dad built my mom a greenhouse, a small one, in our backyard. Took a little figuring out, but she could finally garden.”
“That’s really sweet of him,” you said, taking another strawberry as it was offered to you.
“Yeah, whenever I think about what love is, I think about that.”
You bit into the strawberry, looking at him curiously as he took another handful of strawberries off the plant. “How often are you contemplating what love is?”
He once again held his hand out for you to pick from first, then grabbed one of his own. “Comes and goes. Not often, as of late.”
“Been focused on the mission?”
“Trying.”
At that cryptic answer, you decided to try another question, “Do your parents still live on Dura-Jil?”
Kun once again dropped his discarded leaves into the soil, this time nudging some dirt over them with the toe of his boot. “They’re dead.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” You bit your lip, wanting to kick yourself.
“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
“For that, yes. But I’m also just… sorry. For your loss.”
“Even if you don’t get your memories back, I’ll make sure we do everything we can to get you back to… whoever’s missing you. Your family, your friends,” he said strongly, clasping his hands behind his back.
You looked up ahead, at the far end of the strawberry patch. “What if… What if it turns out that I don’t have anyone? That nobody’s waiting for me?”
“There will be somebody,” Kun assured you. “People like you don’t disappear unnoticed.”
“People like me?” You echoed curiously.
He started down the trail again, and you followed. “I didn’t see your name, on the directory.”
“So you were looking too,” you sighed, accepting the change in topic. It was something that had been nagging at you as well.
“You almost sound disappointed.”
“I just want answers. Good or bad,” you groaned. “All we know is that I didn’t have a personal comms extension, and didn’t have a pager.”
“Xiao said they would’ve given every employee a pager,” he reminded you gently.
“All we have is a lack of evidence of me being an employee. That doesn’t equal proof that I was… something else.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think we’re ever going to find proof of anything.”
“That’s my fear as well.”
“With no intent to stress your brain… Nothing feels any more familiar than the first day?”
“No. I mean, there’s the stuff I remember from, you know, the past few days. But nothing feels even vaguely familiar. No déjà vu, nothing.” You inhaled deeply. “I either know something or I don’t. There’s no grey area.”
“That must be terrifying.”
“I was shook up that first day, yeah. But right now I’m less concerned with the past and more with the future. You know, what I’m going to do from here.”
“I told you, we’ll help you.”
“I know, you said the UHN has programs—”
“No, we’ll help you, Y/N. We’re not going to just to abandon you as soon as we get back to Earth. Not until we know you’re good.”
“Thanks, Kun.” You offered him a genuine smile. “I… I guess I’m just worried about what to do. Who I want to be. I don’t really know if you guys can help much with that. I think that part’s on me.”
“Do you think you know everything about me and the kind of person I am?”
“Uhm, no?”
“You’ve only known yourself for as long as you’ve known me. You can’t expect to know exactly who you are yet. Or anytime soon.”
“Thank you.” You watched as Kun rolled out one of his shoulders uncomfortably, clearly trying to readjust something in his back. You furrowed your brows with concern; it seemed as though the injection from last night was starting to wear off. “How’s the pain?”
“Manageable,” he replied briskly, face relaxing again. But you knew it was practiced, rehearsed—a cover.
“Kun.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I wish you’d be kinder to yourself,” you sighed. “Honestly, this tough guy thing you think you have to do, it’s just… pathetic.”
He slowed your walk to a stop, eyes widened minutely as he blinked at you. “You really think I’m pathetic?”
“A soldier who won’t ask for help when they need it isn’t brave, they’re reckless and stupid,” you said frankly. “And yes, I think this entire charade you do when you’re hurting is pathetic. Pain has never made anyone stronger, healing it does. I don’t know if you think it’ll make you look weak to your crew, or that you don’t deserve to feel better, or if it’s something else—but you don’t have to do all this around me.”
There was a stretch of silence as he took a steady inhale, and you met his gaze unwaveringly. Kun looked down at the ground, then back up at you. There was a slight wince on his face, and you were unsure if it was from pain, shame, or perhaps both. “Do you mind if we sat? My back…”
“Of course, Kun.” You nodded, letting him lead the way over to a grassy patch under a tree in a nearby orchard.
Kun let out a soft but noticeable, appreciative groan as he sat down. Looking up above you two, you spotted oranges among the green foliage along the branches.
“Do you know why there’s no clouds?” He questioned. “In the ag bubble? It’s a pocket dimension; I figure between the plants and the river, the water cycle should still be working.”
“Well there’s no Sun, so that’s a big piece of the water cycle missing,” you pointed out humorously. “Ag bubbles carefully regulate the atmosphere, including the water vapor. Since the fields self-water depending on the needs on the individual crops, it’d be a little inconvenient for it to also rain.”
“And it’s a perfect, mild spring day every day.”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “It is.”
��I know the guys are glad to stretch their legs without getting shot at. The Vision is a bit cramped, and we’re only off it for missions.”
“Sounds like an eventful deployment so far.”
“Very.”
You looked over at Kun leaning back against the trunk, his eyes closed for a moment. A soft breeze kicked up a few strands of his dark brown hair. You didn’t think you’d even seen him so relaxed, and you found yourself strangely happy that he felt like he could rest like this around you, even if it was partially coerced.
“Why did you join the UHN?” You asked, unable to contain your curiosity about him as usual.
“Hm?” He made a questioning noise, raising his eyebrows without opening his eyes.
“Why did you leave Dura-Jil and join the UHN?”
“Wanted to help Earth and humanity. Stars in my eyes, you know?”
You tilted your head curiously. “People from the colonies aren’t exceptionally fond of Earth. Especially those who had never even been there, and especially ones from Dura-Jil. Why would you want to fight for a planet you had never seen?”
He chuckled, and you got the distinct feeling that you weren’t in on the joke. “I—” He cut himself off, eyes opening as he sat up straight, gaze landing sharply on a spot in the distance as he seemed to be listening for something you couldn’t hear. “Okay. Yeah, got it, Professor. We’ll see you in a few.”
“Is everything okay?” You questioned, watching as Kun went to stand.
“The Professor and ZEN have hit a snag in the translation. It’s too much to bring back on the tablet, so come on, we’re heading back out.”
You stood as well, but didn’t follow him as he turned to go. He stopped and turned back to look at you, but whatever question he was about to ask you got cut short as he twisted in such a way that made him wince.
“You should rest, Kun.” You crossed your arms. “One of the others can go with me.”
He took a deep breath, then nodded. “See if Xiao can go. The others were swimming, it’ll take them longer to get back into their armor.”
“Got it. You go rest. I’ll bring you mess along with the med-pods tonight.”
“I can’t be lazing in my tent all day and have food delivered to me,” he snorted. “The crew will think I’m on my deathbed.”
“You could tell them what’s going on. Would that be the heat death of the Universe?”
“No, but—”
“If one of your crew was injured, would you want them to be doing what you’re doing right now? Leaving you in the dark? Refusing rest and treatment?” You asked steadily. “Or would you call them an idiot and send them to their tent?”
“You’ve called me pathetic and an idiot in less than ten minutes, you know?”
“I’ll call you a pathetic idiot if that’ll convince you to go lay down.”
Kun’s eyes crinkled as he laughed, hard. When he’d caught his breath, he held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll go rest for a bit.”
The two of you finally started walking back towards the camp, soon coming upon the others still hanging out by the water. Kun lifted a hand in farewell to you and casual greeting to his crew as he kept walking, and you watched him until he eventually disappeared into his tent.
“Y/N!” Kunhang called from the water.
“Yeah?” You replied, not bothering to sit or get comfortable.
“What was so funny?” He paddled closer to the edge you were standing at. “We’ve never heard the captain laugh like that.”
“Oh, uh, I called him a pathetic idiot,” you said with a shrug.
Everyone’s heads whipped around to look at you. Ten then turned a mischievous grin on Yangyang. “You’ve got to try that.”
“My parents paid good money for braces for me as a kid, I’m not going to disrespect their investment,” Yangyang retorted.
As the three in the water began bickering and teasing and taunting each other again, you turned your focus down to the doctor still on the shore. “Professor and ZEN need some help. You mind going with me, Dejun?”
“Sure.” Dejun snapped his book shut. “Give me a second to put my armor back on. Then you can tell me how you got away with insulting the captain to his face.”
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That night, everyone was back at camp. The Professor was still messing around with a few series of glyphs on his tablet that he wanted to try on his own before letting you reveal the translation to him. The document on scrubbing was fully translated, and the ZEN fragment in the facility computer would continue going through the remaining files through the night. The scrubbing procedures didn’t really have any extra clues about the proof of concept that you could decipher, but it was worth a shot.
As the Professor tried out the glyphs, Yangyang and Dejun seemed to be discussing the book that the doctor had been borrowing from the younger man, as Dejun held it in his hand and they had a rather impassioned conversation in one corner of camp. You, Ten, and Kunhang were cooking dinner. And by that, you mean Ten and Kunhang were cooking dinner and you were watching them, as they had officially banned you from being near sharp objects while your hand healed. And you noticed that Ten was the one cutting ingredients tonight, not Kunhang.
“So why is there no meat here?” Kunhang asked you. “Ag bubbles can keep livestock too. Why not here?”
“I… don’t know,” you confessed. “I mean, technically ag bubbles don’t need to have livestock, since the crops can be modified to meet all nutritional requirements without the need for meat. Preference?”
“You think the Research Director was a vegan or something?”
Ten snorted incredulously as soon as the words were out of his teammate’s mouth. “Anybody who can do… whatever the hell what happening here also being a vegan would be painfully ironic.”
You felt a pit grow in your stomach as you remembered the conversation you’d overheard just yesterday morning. Impulsively, you looked down at your own hands, as if expecting to see them literally covered in blood, any sort of evidence of the sins they think you might have committed. You must have committed.
“How’s your hand?” Ten asked, clearly having seen the motion.
“It’s fine,” you brushed it off, putting both your appendages down and looking back up at the two Marines. “Do you guys think I worked here?”
Kunhang at least seemed a bit taken aback by the question, looking at Ten awkwardly for some kind of cue, as his buddy raised an eyebrow at you curiously.
“Do you think you worked here?”
“I-I don’t know. Nothing’s familiar.”
“We don’t have any proof you did anything, Y/N,” Ten said plainly. “All we know is that you were here when we got here. You’re not wearing a lab coat, you don’t have a neural port, you apparently didn’t have a pager.”
Kunhang picked up from Ten’s implicit conclusion, “You’ve been pretty cool since we found you. I think if you did work here, you’d be a lot more stuck up. Never met a UHN scientist without a bit of an ego.”
“And by ego, you mean God complex.”
“That too.”
You smiled faintly at their assessment. “Thanks. I don’t know how much of this is me or the amnesia, but…”
“It’s you now,” Ten shrugged.
“Soup’s on!” Kunhang suddenly announced to the entire camp.
As servings started being passed out to everyone who had swarmed the station, you accepted one as it was handed to you, then there was one dish left. The others looked around with confusion, realizing exactly who was missing as all their gazes turned in the direction of Kun’s tent.
“Is the captain… napping?” Kunhang hazarded a guess.
“No way that man takes naps,” Yangyang shook his head furiously. “Maybe he didn’t hear you? ZEN? Did you accidentally isolate his comms?” And almost immediately, followed it up with, “Oh my god, of course, my bad, I’m sorry. You would never make a mistake like that, you’re in Kunhang’s neural port, you know exactly who he wants to be talking to.”
“Is he okay?” The Professor asked aloud as well, presumably to ZEN, the only one of you who would have real-time information on that sort of thing. “Oh. Well should we… go get him?”
You picked up the extra bowl. “I’ve got it.”
Without another word, you headed off towards Kun’s tent. The front flap was down, but unzipped, and you stopped just outside to call out to him.
“Kun? Can I come in?” You requested.
“Yeah.” Came his short reply.
You ducked your head as you stepped in, careful to shield the food from the tarp as you entered. You had already grabbed the disinfecting wipe two med-pods from Dejun before starting the food prep with Ten and Kunhang, so you wouldn’t need to duck back out for those. Kun was laying on his back on his cot, which you were honestly surprised about. He started slowly sitting up as you approached, and once he seemed settled, you handed his food to him, then pulled up your usual container seat.
“Thank you,” he said, leaning his elbows on his knees.
“Did you actually stay in here the whole time?” You inquired, picking up your first bite on your utensil. “While I was gone?”
“I felt like I was going crazy, but yes.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle. “You should borrow Yangyang’s book next. Dejun seems to be enjoying it.”
“His robotics textbook?” Kun clarified doubtfully.
“It’s on roboethics. And what else are you going to do?”
“Good point.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But hopefully, I won’t have civvie-mandated bed rest again and need entertainment.”
“Depends on how you do with two med-pods, and how soon you get tuned up.” You pointed your utensil at him accusatorily. “You should rest while you can. You’ll be useless to your crew if you’re in even worse shape somewhere more dangerous than here.”
“Noted. So you, ZEN, and the Professor are almost done with the scrubbing protocol?”
“Technically, we’re done. But it was so close to mess that the Professor asked if I could let him try some of the last sections by himself tonight before giving him the real translation in the morning.”
“Anything useful for searching for the proof of concept?”
“Not that I could tell,” you sighed. “It just kept talking about preserving it, nothing about if that was in a physical location, or digital. And Yangyang said that a proof of concept could be proving any tiny facet of the final product, so we have no clue what this thing could be. Could be a single circuit for all we know.”
“It’d be something groundbreaking. Something worth risking a security breach.”
“And what does groundbreaking look like, exactly?”
“Yeah, that’s the problem, huh?”
“Mm-hm.” You had finished your food, and set it aside as Kun had a couple more bites left of his. “I think the organic material that Dejun found will be interesting, once he can analyze it on the Vision.”
“If there’s enough,” Kun added, also putting his empty plate down.
You started reaching into your pockets for your supplies, “Lie down.”
He reached for your bandaged hand. “Let me see your hand.”
You held it away from him. “Your injections—”
“I’m not avoiding,” he promised. “I’ll take care of you, then you can take care of me, okay?”
After a beat, you relented. “Alright.”
Kun began unwrapping the bandages as precisely as he had wound them in the first place, slowly revealing the gauze underneath. He left that as he reached over to grab his canteen, preparing to rinse the cut again. As he peeled the gauze off, you saw his eyes widen as you felt your own take it in as well. The gauze itself was stained with dark red blood, but your skin was fully mended, no open wound, no scabbing, not even a scar.
“What the fuck?” He breathed out, pure bewilderment in his tone.
You weren’t sure what to say, well aware that wasn��t supposed to happen. “Uh—”
“Wiggle your fingers,” he instructed, and you did so. “Does that hurt?”
“No.” It felt normal, no pain, no residual issues from having a knife go into the skin and muscle.
“Make a fist.”
You curled your fingers into a loose fist, then a tighter one when you realized it didn’t hurt.
“That hurt?” Kun asked again.
“No.”
He took your hand, pressing one of his thumbs into your previously-injured palm, hard. “That?”
“Nothing. It… It feels fine.”
He let you go, still looking down at your hand that you were hovering in between the two of you, unsure. “Maybe you’re part-Phaser?”
“My eyes aren’t silver, are they?” You moved your gaze up to his questioningly. “I feel like you guys would’ve mentioned that…”
“No, they’re not.” He shook his head. “Maybe it’s like… your great-grandma was a Phaser or something.”
“…I don’t know.”
“I’m going to wrap this up again,” Kun declared, grabbing a fresh piece of gauze and bandage.
“Why?”
His brow was set, face serious and tone level as he addressed you, “This is between us, do you understand?”
“I… Okay.” You nodded, swallowing down all your questions, most of which Kun couldn’t even answer. “Thank you.”
After Kun had finished bandaging up your perfectly fine palm, he dutifully laid back down, this time on his front, for you to administer the first of the med-pods. As you disinfected the injection site, you once again felt a strange sense of urgency to talk to him as much as you could, ask him as many questions as possible while you had this uninterrupted, strangely personal-feeling time with him.
“Do you like me?”
Kun immediately shot up to his elbows, and you could see the muscles in his back tense with the movement then stay tensed. “ZEN, stop eavesdropping.” A moment later, he looked upwards as he rolled his eyes at nothing. “Yeah, I know you’re in my neural port, don’t make me take you out of there. I said blackout my mic, including to you.”
You looked at him with mild alarm. You’d never been entirely alone with any crew member of the Vision, you knew that ZEN was always there, and knowing that it now really was just you and Kun only added to the odd feeling of intimacy you had about the situation.
He now turned his focus to you, looking at you over his shoulder. “Excuse me?”
“Like, as a person?” You tacked on some clarification. “I’m still trying to figure out who I am, and the others have said stuff like that—”
“Like what, exactly?”
“That they like having me around, or consider me a friend of some sort. I don’t know, I’m trying to figure out if I’m likeable.”
“Word of advice, Y/N.” He settled back down. “Don’t try to define yourself by how other people think of you. It’s never going to end well.”
“I’ll… take that under advisement, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You didn’t answer my question.” You positioned the first med pod.
“Does it matter?”
“Not for that, no.”
“For something else?”
You clicked the button, beginning the first injection. “Your refusal to answer is rather frustrating.”
“Your insistence that I answer is fascinating.”
“I’m getting a strange sense of déjà vu right now…” You snorted, thinking about your pointless little argument over him wanting to walk with you.
“You questioned my motives for wanting to walk with you, I’m questioning yours for asking me that question. Is that unfair?”
“I only know six people. Seven including ZEN,” you pointed out frankly. “So excuse me for maybe being a little nervous about whether or not those six people dislike me.”
He paused for too long to be comfortable before answering. “No, I don’t dislike you.”
“Not an affirmative.”
“Y/N, you’re afraid that I’m being polite? That I’ve just been tolerating you this whole time?”
“Yes, I suppose.”
“Do I seem like a man who would waste so much of my time on niceties?”
“Well… no.”
“There you go. Seven out of seven, congrats,” he said dryly.
“ZEN likes me?” You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you took the now-empty med pod off his back and grabbed the next one.
“He can’t hear us right now, but if he could, he’d agree with me.”
“Thanks, Kun.”
“I don’t know what that says for your general likeability that all of us like you, though.”
“That’s alright. You’re the only seven people I know.”
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The next morning, everyone split up to look for the proof of concept. Just as you’d thought, the rest of the manual had given no more clues to its whereabouts, form, or purpose, and ZEN hadn’t found any new information in the computer to assist you either.
You were with Kun and Ten in the employee quarters, searching every nook and cranny you could for anything that seemed to be of importance. Either a fair amount of stuff had already been removed, or the employees didn’t have very many personal belongings to begin with. Often, you could only tell if someone had been living in a room if something was slightly askew, a bedsheet out of place, desk chair not pushed in all the way, lamp light left on. There was no personal memorabilia like pictures or knickknacks in any of the rooms you searched through, and you wondered to yourself if they had no family to bring a picture of, or if they couldn’t for some reason. The barren, muted grey walls were discouraging, but you still kept a secondary search going in the back of your mind, waiting to see if anything would spark some familiarity. If you could find your own quarters, maybe.
As you looked under someone’s bed, Kun went through the small dresser, and Ten rummaged around in their desk. The staff sergeant let out an incredulous noise, making you look over at him as he held up a small paperback book for you and Kun to see.
“Frankenstein,” he announced. “Bit on the nose, isn’t it?”
“Do you not like robots, Ten?” You asked curiously as he tossed the book onto the desk and went back to searching.
“Robots are fine, AI is fine. I don’t like the idea of people-robots,” he clarified. “I like all of those things—robots, AI, humans—to be very distinct from each other. Instead of worrying about turning into Victor Frankenstein, I think humanity should be worrying about turning into Icarus.”
“Icarus?”
“Old myth from an ancient Earth civilization. Icarus was a human who had wax wings built for him. He flew too close to the Sun, they melted, and he fell into the sea and died. It’s a lesson about hubris.”
“Unless they hollowed out the book to hide something in there, I don’t really care,” Kun interrupted sternly.
“No, I’ve got nothing,” Ten responded.
“Me too,” you sighed, standing back up.
“Next room, then,” Kun declared with little fanfare.
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At camp that afternoon, the three teams had comparable results: Nothing. No proof of concept, or anything more interesting than the random book Ten had found.
The Professor, Yangyang, and ZEN were finishing up the secondary task you all had for today, marking off the dead employees from the comms directory, and the rest of you started on your evening chores.
“Done!” The Professor announced, drawing in the rest of the crew to gather around. “And uh, Y/N isn’t the only survivor.”
Nervous murmurs erupted around you, and you started at the Professor with wide eyes.
“W-Who?” You stammered out, your mind racing immediately.
“The Research Director, Dr. Yoon. He’s not here. Everyone else on the directory is accounted for, and we have no unidentified humans.”
“What do we know about him?” Ten addressed the group as a whole.
“Not much,” Yangyang spoke up. “Civilian only on technicality. He’s worked for the UHN for the past 40 years as a researcher. Everything else on him is classified since ZEN’s fragment has a lower clearance by default.”
“If he was here, then whatever he was doing was much worse than the rumors,” Kun interjected coarsely, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You know this guy?” The roboticist asked him, clearly surprised.
“Heard of him. At the UHN from other officers. I thought he was… retired. I suppose a guy like that couldn’t ever retire, though.”
“UHN probably told everyone he retired so they could send him out here for this super secret, super illegal experiment,” Ten suggested.
“Yeah, probably,” Kun agreed, his voice still short as his face didn’t lose the troubled look that had overtaken it since the Professor stood up.
“Don’t feel too bad, Captain, you probably weren’t even a Lieutenant back then, and it would’ve been need to know. Way above your head at the time,” Kunhang said, going to pat him on the shoulder, but one hard gaze from the captain stopped his hand in midair.
“We’re done here,” Kun declared, stepping back from the group.
“Alright, cool, before we break, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Kunhang questioned.
“I mean we’re done here. On Aegeum. We’ve gotten everything we need. Be ready to leave the surface after mess tomorrow morning,” he turned away sharply.
Ten called after him, “Wait, Cap—”
“Dismissed.” Kun tossed back over his shoulder, taking off from camp with a fast stride.
“And he’s gone.” Ten sighed, then looked around at all of you, who were equally dumbfounded. “What the hell?”
You were still watching after Kun’s quickly retreating figure as the others erupted into uncertain chatter. Some were still discussing the other survivor, while others were elatedly discussing finally getting off of Aegeum and where they’d go next.
“Sorry, excuse me, guys,” you excused yourself hastily, rushing off in the direction you saw Kun go.
You found him by the river, on a rockier patch of shoreline. He threw a rock at an angle towards the water, the stone immediately breaking the surface and sinking. The captain silently picked up another, casting it harshly into the river.
You stopped a fair distance away as you hesitantly called out, “Kun?”
“Yes?” He didn’t look back at you, just picked up another rock.
“Do you want to be alone?”
Another throw, plop, and sink. “You can stay.”
“Thanks.” You approached, keeping some space between you. “Who is Dr. Yoon, really?”
He turned over the rock in his hand before sharply throwing it at the water, creating a spray around it as it violently broke the surface on its way under. “He was the head of the program I was put in, at the UHN.”
“With the skeletal enhancements.”
“I thought he was dead. He was supposed to be dead.”
“How… did he supposedly die?”
“Skipper raid on the facility he was working at. Entire building was destroyed. No survivors.” He stated, though his voice was hard. “Or so I thought. I should’ve known the Devil wouldn’t have gone like that.”
“But somehow he ended up here.”
“Yeah…” He replied bitterly. Grabbing another stone, he motioned you closer. “Come here.”
“Huh?” You stayed in place as you tried to comprehend the sudden shift in conversation.
“I’m going to teach you how to skip a rock.”
“No offense, but you haven’t actually skipped a single rock while we’ve been standing here.”
“Trust me.”
“How do you know I don’t already know how to skip a rock?”
“How do you know that you do?” He replied with an eyebrow arched.
“…Alright, teach me how to skip rocks,” you relented, stepping towards him.
Kun stood behind you as you took the rock in your own hand.
“Okay, so first, you want to hold it like this.” He used both of his hands to readjust the positioning of your hand and fingers on the stone. “And you’ve got to stand like this.” He made some minute corrections to the alignment of your shoulders, hips, and arm holding the rock. Then, his hand was wrapping around the back of yours that held the rock, gently guiding it through a demonstration of the throw arc. “And you want to kind of swing, flick, release it out there, and follow through.”
“And are all of your rock skipping lessons this… interactive?” You questioned, turning your head towards the side where he was looking over your shoulder.
“Are you going to do it?” He asked, returning your slight teasing tone.
You wound your arm back, then did just as he’d shown you, swing, flick, release, and follow through. The rock skipped across the surface three times before sinking.
“Huh. You’re a pretty good teacher, Kun.”
“And here you were just questioning my methods.”
“Not their efficacy, just how often you implement them.” You looked back at him again, where he hadn’t moved from his instructional position. You hadn’t been close to the captain like this before, but you didn’t really mind.
“You’re a special case,” he murmured, meeting your gaze steadily. You found yourself holding your breath, watching as his eyes flicked down, then he suddenly stepped back.
Your back felt oddly cool as you turned to face him. Scrambling for another topic, you found yourself thinking about what else he had said at the very short status meeting. “So tomorrow we leave.”
“I want you to stay with us,” he said, taking you by surprise. “We don’t know enough about what was going on here, and with Dr. Yoon in the wind… We can’t—I can’t just leave you on Earth alone.”
“We’ve never known what was going on here, and you had never mentioned not taking me to UHN Main,” you pointed out calmly. “It’s Dr. Yoon, isn’t it?”
“The program I was in wasn’t just some skeletal enhancements and nice armor,” he admitted, sitting in the neighboring grass just a couple steps away.
“What else…?” You followed, sitting down next to him.
“I left Dura-Jil when I was fifteen, for the program.”
“You can’t enlist until you’re eighteen.”
“Didn’t enlist, I was selected, along with a bunch of others.” He said the word ‘selected’ with a hint of irony. “I was one of the oldest. We were supposed to save humanity, after some training, and a few… modifications. My age was probably why my body had a harder time acclimating to the modifications. I could only take the first round of skeletal enhancements, brainstem neural port, and cardiopulmonary augmentation.” He turned his head and parted some of his hair, letting you see the small port at the base of his skull. “Neural ports aren’t unheard of at the UHN—Wong and Ten have them, but theirs are situated higher up, since implantation in the brainstem is much riskier. But we had a special purpose, and they needed access to the brainstem for ours. It was the second round of skeletal enhancements that almost crippled me.”
“Almost?” You echoed, thinking of how well he seemed, aside from the degradation of his skeletal enhancements.
“Most of us who didn’t make it through either died or were beyond repair. Admiral Lee picked me back up, put me back together, and let me enroll in the Academy to join as an officer.”
“As in… Admiral Lee, the head of Intelligence?”
“Yes. Though, back then, he was only Vice Admiral.”
“Learning that not everyone wants the same kind of life… Were you talking about the life that the program had prescribed for you? Or the one that Admiral Lee gave you?”
“All of it, I think,” he let out a cynical chuckle.
“And what kind of life do you want now? For yourself?”
“Y/N…” He turned his focus from where it had been on the river to you. “I didn’t tell you all of that as a heart-on-my-sleeve, vulnerable moment. You deserve to know that I’m not entirely human.”
“Is that really how you feel? Inhuman?”
He sighed, looking down at himself. “There are parts of me that are… manufactured. Irrevocably altered. I don’t think I remember how it felt before I was like this.”
“So what do you think you are, then? If not human?” You asked curiously.
“I think Liu would classify me as a cyborg?”
“I didn’t ask what Yangyang would classify you as. I asked what you think you are.”
“I’m… something else,” he determined, voice hollow.
“Kun…”
“Hm?” He gazed over at you.
“Thank you for telling me. I do care, about all of that. Because it’s you, it’s about you, part of who you are, whether you think that’s for better or for worse. But that doesn’t make you any less in my eyes,” you said sincerely.
“Any less human?”
“Any less… you. Don’t you get it? That’s what I care about, not your alleged humanity, or lack thereof.”
“When Admiral Lee told me Dr. Yoon was dead, I celebrated,” he said with a cold kind of humor.
“I think that’s warranted.”
“Not because a bad man who had done bad things to me and other kids was dead. But because—because finally, the part of me that still wanted to make him proud had died with him.”
“Kun… I’m going to tell you something that I think you already know. Just because he played a part in how your body physically developed, does not mean that he made you the man that you are now. You are not his creation, or even Admiral Lee’s. You are your own person, whole and complete. A sum of all the parts, everything you’ve been through, and everything you’ve learned. But you. Not anybody else.” You placed a hand on his forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You do not owe that man anything.”
He looked down at your hand. “I don’t think I ever want you to remember…”
“What?”
“Knowing that he might’ve… to you. I think it might be better for you to never remember.” Kun slowly put his hand over yours.
“Oh…”
“What are we doing, Y/N?”
You looked around uncertainly. “Uh… sitting?”
“Why are you sitting with me right now? Instead of starting mess with everyone else back at camp?”
“Because I’d rather be here than there. Is that hard to believe?”
“No. I just…” He breathed out, looking down at your connected hands. “I can’t promise you any sort of normal life. Or anything, really. Other than me.”
“I wouldn’t really know what a normal life is. I have a feeling that I wasn’t exactly living one before this, either,” you pointed out. “That’s all I can offer, too. Myself.”
“That’s more than enough.”
“And so are you.” You reassured him. “So? Will you let us…?”
He swallowed, then nodded. “Sure, yes.”
“Thank you,” you said quietly, scooting closer to him.
“There will be no way to keep this from the others,” he cautioned.
“Just how many warnings are you going to try to scare me off with before you realize I don’t care?”
“I was stating a fact.”
“It was the way you said it, how you looked at me. Like you expected me to leave,” you frowned.
“It should’ve at least given you pause. All of this should’ve,” he shook his head, carefully taking his arm back to loop it around your shoulders.
“And yet it didn’t.”
The two of you were quiet for another moment, then you heard Kun scoff under his breath.
“Yeah, ZEN?” He addressed the AI tersely. “Fine, you can patch him through... What do you need, Wong? Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute.”
“Soup’s on?” You guessed.
“Yeah…” He sighed, not making a move to leave yet.
“Do you… want to go?”
“In a minute.”
By the time you got back to camp, the others were already sat around the campfire with their dishes, though it looked like they hadn’t started eating yet.
“There you are!” The Professor waved to the two of you as soon as he saw you. “Thought we were going to have to send a search party or something.”
“We had to walk all the way back here,” Kun said plainly, grabbing both of the extra dishes from the food prep station and handing you one. “You all could have started without us.”
“ZEN said you were only—” Yangyang got cut off by Ten elbowing him in the side. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Thanks for waiting,” you opted not to address whatever that was, sitting down in the single large gap left between Dejun and the Professor, in the spot closer to your tentmate.
“So what’s the next destination, then, Captain?” Ten inquired. “Dropping Y/N off at UHN Main for debriefing?”
“Oh, shit, yeah.” Kunhang shook his head. “It’s weird, I got so used to you being here, Y/N. Kind of forgot you weren’t actually one of us.”
“Yeah, we’ll miss you,” Dejun patted your shoulder, then focused a pointed stare on the youngest crew member. “And I’ll miss you extra when Liu sleeptalks.”
“Thanks, guys,” you gave them all an appreciative smile before looking at Kun out of the corner of your eye uncertainly.
Kun cleared his throat. “However, Y/N will be staying with us for the foreseeable future, due—”
“Seriously?!” Yangyang interrupted incredulously. “I got chewed out for like two hours for even suggesting—”
“Because at the time, it was the reckless and stupid option,” Kun cut him off strictly. “But, if you had let me finish what I was saying, Lieutenant, I would’ve been able to explain that I now believe it’s the safer option for her. We don’t know the whereabouts of the other survivor, and there’s a very good chance that he has the proof with him—whatever it is. There’s too many uncertainties for us to leave Y/N on Earth alone.”
“You think this Dr. Yoon is a danger to Y/N?” The Professor questioned.
“More of a danger than being around us?” Dejun added.
“Yes,” the captain replied very seriously. “We’re a self-contained vessel; our courses aren’t plotted externally ahead of time, our missions aren’t documented in a centralized record after the fact, and we’re undetectable in flight as well. Nobody will know about her unless we want them to.”
Ten nodded. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
“Hell yeah!” Kunhang grinned and held a hand up towards you. “Welcome aboard.”
You accepted his high-five with a laugh. “Thanks, Kunhang.”
“So back to my question, then,” Ten cocked his head. “Where to next?”
“UHN Main,” Kun answered. “I need to provide the Admiral with an update, in person. We also need to resupply, and you all are due for some shore leave.”
They all erupted into cheers, and you found yourself smiling down at your food, too. UHN Main, where Kun could get his much-needed readjustment.
The rest of dinner was an amiable, jovial affair as the crew spitballed ideas for their shore leave. After the food was finished, everyone pitched in with cleaning up and packing away the materials that wouldn’t be needed again. You were leaving tomorrow.
“Y/N,” Dejun called for you when pretty much everything was done, but the others were still milling about, talking to each other excitedly. “Let me take a look at your hand in the tent.”
“Oh, uhm—” You gave in to his insistent tug on your elbow, despite your brain frantically trying to think of a reason why he couldn’t inspect your perfectly healed palm.
In your tent, Dejun started rooting through one of his med packs as you were still stumbling through the beginning of an excuse.
“Dejun, you don’t need to—”
“I know,” he said simply, standing back up and handing you a disinfectant wipe and two med-pods. “Captain’s got you. Right?”
“…Right.” You accepted the supplies. “Thanks.”
“Are you okay with this?”
“With what?”
“Staying with us. You know, not getting a normal life yet. I know you can’t remember, or maybe don’t know what that’s like, but… I don’t want you to think you have to do this. The UHN can give you a new identity, hide you in other ways.”
You paused, looking at him curiously. “Why did you join the UHN, Dejun?”
“After med school, I did my residency at a rehab clinic for veterans. Thought I could make more of a difference if I got to them earlier.” He fidgeted with the holster around his thigh.
“I’m okay with this,” you assured him. “Whatever kind of life I had before, normal or not… I can never go back to it. Even if I remember, it’ll never be the same. And after the war—who does have a normal life anymore? Or gets to say what that is?”
“Alright.” Dejun patted your shoulder. “I’m happy to have you aboard, don’t get me wrong. Not trying to get rid of you or anything. Just want to make sure you know your options.”
“Thanks, Dejun.” You gave him a smile before ducking out of the tent.
You couldn’t see the others around the campfire anymore, but you swore you heard voices and what sounded like splashing in the direction of the river. One last late-night swim, it seemed.
“Kun?” You waited outside his tent.
“Come in!” He beckoned you in just a moment later.
Kun was sitting on his cot, a thin paperback book in his hands.
“Is that the book Ten found earlier?” You asked, moving over the container you usually sat on.
“Yeah.” He held it up so you could see the cover. Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley.
“I didn’t realize you’d grabbed it.”
“ZEN could probably pull it up for me, back on the Vision. But my eyes hurt looking at those screens for too long, you know?” He put in a bookmark, a folded-up piece of graph paper, before setting the book aside.
He laid down without prompting, reaching around to adjust his shirt for you. You ripped open the antiseptic wipe first.
“So why now?” You asked, disinfecting the injection site. “Why do you want to leave Aegeum now? There were lots of other times you could’ve called the mission over.”
“I need to report Dr. Yoon being alive to Admiral Lee as soon as possible.”
“Do you think that Admiral Lee knew he was alive?” You took out the first med-pod.
“No, Admiral Lee hates him as much as I do,” Kun said, staring ahead of him. “And the Admiral has never lied to me. When he can’t tell me something, he lets me know.”
“Do you think you’ll be going after him? Dr. Yoon?”
Click.
“I’ll need further directions from the Admiral.” He ran a hand through his hair. “If we don’t have any leads, he’ll probably just have us focus on our original mission.”
“And what is the mission?”
“Well…”
“I’m part of the crew now, kind of. Indefinitely. Shouldn’t I get to know what your mission that you’re on actually is?”
“No, you’re right. I’m trying to find the best starting place,” he mused. “So, the Intergalactic War ended almost a year ago.”
“Yes, I did know that,” you informed him, carefully picking through your memory. “It was the United Human Intercosmic Territories against Ourogos, the K’llor, and some factions of A-Jregth.”
You used the proper name for the A-Jregth, as opposed to the common, less-than-flattering human nickname for them—Dumbo, for their large ears that reminded the first UHN soldiers to make contact with them of elephants. In that moment, you couldn’t recall the original connection between the name and the Earth animal, but that could wait.
“Well, UHIT is much less united now; we’ve got a lot on our plate trying to keep ourselves together. Especially with some planets of Phasers and other human-originated species talking about wanting independence from humans.”
“On the grounds that they’re not humans?” You guessed.
“Exactly. There’s rumors of talks of secession.” The med-pod clicked then, and he paused as you grabbed the next one. Once you had them swapped out, he continued, “The aliens’ alliance has completely dissolved, however. Before we came here, we were on Ourogos; it’s especially nasty there. They’re almost in a civil war, trapped between two zealots vying for power ever since their leader, Busr Gorkourontorous, was assassinated. The Fisheads and Dumbo went back to their own business, and the Skippers are doing what they’ve always done.”
“You don’t sound too troubled about any of that.”
“The more time they spend killing each other, the more time we have to figure our own shit out.”
Moving your gaze from the med-pod to his face, you asked, “When did the busr die?”
“Recently,” he replied knowingly.
“Did one of you…?”
“We didn’t pull the trigger,” Kun said. “But we supplied the gun. And the bullet.”
“Arms dealing. To both sides?”
“The more of them that are dead, the fewer there will be to come kill humans.” He finally looked back at you. “That’s our mission. Less dead humans.”
“Do you think you’re accomplishing that?” You held his eye contact, leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knee and prop up your chin with one of your palms.
“That’s not my determination to make right now. Not yet.”
“You’re a self-contained vessel. That comes with quite a bit of leeway with decision-making, doesn’t it?”
“Day-to-day decisions, yes. Admiral Lee has put a lot of trust in me. But every one of my calls is supposed to be made with that objective in mind.”
The second med-pod finished, and you took it off him as well, setting it at your feet with the rest of the trash that you’d take with you to put in Dejun’s medical disposal container in your tent. For once, neither of you made a move to leave now that it was done.
“How did you end up on Aegeum?” You asked.
“Intelligence guy picked up chatter from some Skippers. He didn’t speak Skipper, but he could make out one word they kept saying over and over that sounded like human. You know Skipper, it sounds like a bunch of chipmunks chittering about, so the word ‘Aegeum’ kind of caught his attention. Relayed it back to Admiral Lee. He sent us out here.”
“Do you have the recording of the Skippers? The Professor or ZEN…?”
“UHN translators have been working on it since we’ve been down here. It might be done, I’ll have to check once we’re back on the Vision.”
“Kind of makes me think…” You mused aloud. “About what would’ve happened if you all hadn’t found me. If I would’ve ever gotten out of that shelter.”
“I know you don’t remember how you got in there, but… what do you think you would’ve done? If you’d left the shelter, you’d have been able to survive off the ag bubble indefinitely, at least.”
“I don’t know,” you admitted, messing with your fingers. “I-I didn’t know, or didn’t remember, what was going on outside of the shelter other than the smell, but I had this feeling that I shouldn’t leave it, and I shouldn’t be found, you know? But when I saw you and Kunhang, and I knew you were UHN—I knew that the UHN was safe, at least. So… I really don’t know if I would’ve ever left.”
You watched as he slowly started sitting back up, and he thankfully didn’t clutch his back, wince, or groan this time. The two med-pods seemed to be doing pretty well for him. But they were only a temporary fix.
“You’re going to get your tune-up at UHN Main, right?” You looked at him seriously. “You’ll give your report to Admiral Lee, the crew will go on shore leave, and you’ll get your adjustment?”
“Yes, Y/N,” he confirmed with a hint of a smile. “I’ll get my adjustment while we’re there.”
“Good.”
“But then what excuse will you have for coming into my quarters every night?”
You landed a soft kick against his ankle at his teasing words, making him snicker. “You say that as if the crew know why I’ve been doing it in the first place. Other than Dejun, they have no clue. Who knows what they’re thinking now.”
“That’s true.” He still had a hint of a chuckle in his voice. “Speaking of… I have a spare bunk in my cabin on the Vision, you’re welcome to it. Or you can room with the Professor, if you’d like. I’m sure he’d enjoy the opportunity to ask you more about Outspacer.”
“Wait, if you both have spare bunks, then why is Dejun rooming with Yangyang, who talks in his sleep?” You cocked your head in bewilderment. “Why doesn’t he just stay with one of you so he isn’t disturbed by Yangyang’s sleeptalking?”
“Kid can’t sleep by himself. Apparently wasn’t a problem until he got onto a ship. We’ve offered for Xiao to move, but—” Kun shrugged.
“He’s a good teammate.” You then circled back to his original offer, bringing your hand up to tap your chin as if deep in thought. “I’ll have to think about it… Staying in the captain’s quarters, wouldn’t want anybody to get the wrong idea, you know?”
“Oh, of course not.”
“And I should probably be getting back to my tent,” you sighed melodramatically, slowly getting to your feet. “I’ve been in here for a suspicious amount of time already, don’t you think?”
“Hold on—ZEN? Where are the others?” Kun was still as he listened to ZEN’s response from within his neural port. “Great. Cut out your incoming audiovisual feed from me, but let me know when they start heading back, okay? Thanks.”
You tilted your head in a silent question.
“Everyone’s down at the river still,” he informed you, offering his hand out to you. “We have some time.”
“Mm… okay.” You placed your hand in his.
Kun scooted over to make some room beside him on the cot, and you accepted the invitation, sitting beside him instead of on the container like before.
“Are you ready? To leave?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah. I don’t really have a lot of personal effects to pack up, so…” You shrugged. “Though, I was curious about getting from the facility to your ship. Is the atmosphere breathable?”
“It’s a bit thin. Unfortunately, we weren’t expecting to acquire anybody while we were down here, so we don’t have an extra suit for you on the dropship. Xiao has masks with limited oxygen supply, you should be okay with one of those for the short walk on the surface.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“But I wasn’t asking you if you were packed,” he continued, rubbing a thumb over the back of your hand. “I mean, this is the only place you can remember. Are you ready to leave it?”
You nodded in determination. “I am. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t find the proof of concept or figure out why the Skippers were here, but I have no personal reservations about leaving. This isn’t my home.”
“Okay, good.”
“What are you going to say about me? In your report to the Admiral?”
“I’ll give him a brief update when we get back on the Vision tomorrow, before leaving. I’ll say we found a survivor, and we’re headed back to UHN Main so I can make a full report, but that’ll be it. I know you’ve only met his dumbed-down safety version, but ZEN’s a very good AI, he’ll keep the connection between the Admiral and I secure while I report.”
“This has been ZEN dumbed down?” You repeated with a smile. “I’m excited to meet him fully, then.”
“He’s something else,” Kun said with a shake of his head. “Like what I just had to do, asking him to butt out to get some privacy. ZEN at full capacity understands the concept of appropriate levels of snooping. This one, you have to give some clearer direction. He understands when we don’t need to hear each other—most of the time—but can’t turn off incoming audiovisual to himself of his own volition.”
“You must be used to his omnipresence on the Vision. His main nexus is there, I’m assuming he’s throughout the ship’s systems.”
“Well yes, but I don’t really care if he hears our talk around the mess table or sees me cleaning my armor. This… is different.”
“How so?”
“Well—”
“I’m kidding, Kun,” you laughed, bumping your shoulder against his. “I like knowing that we’re really alone, too. Makes it feel more… intimate, I think.”
“I agree.”
“There is one thing I’ll miss about Aegeum, though.”
“What’s that?”
“Those strawberries were really good.”
Kun’s eyes crinkled as he smiled fondly. “They were. Do you want to go get some?”
“Now?”
“Why not? One last handful, a midnight snack.”
“I do.”
And so the two of you quietly slipped out of his tent, hurrying off in the direction of the strawberry fields. You could hear the others by the river, though their voices and splashing got more distant the nearer you got to the fields. Finally, you made it to the strawberry patch, and the air of the ag bubble was peaceful around you.
There were small, hidden lights along the pathways and edges of the fields that automatically turned on at night, affording just enough brightness for you to be able to distinguish the fruits on the bushes as Kun went to pick them. He handed you the first one he grabbed, then bit into the second himself.
“Kun, you’ve got some on your face,” you pointed out, and he went to wipe at his right cheek. You shook your head with a giggle, bringing your own thumb up to his left cheek. “No, you— Here, I’ve got it.”
“Oh now that’s not fair,” he complained with an air of teasing in his tone.
“Why’s that?”
“You don’t have anything on your face, so I don’t have an excuse to charmingly cradle your cheek like you’re doing to me.”
“How about you do it anyway—” You took his free hand and brought it up to your face, “—and while we’re here, you can kiss me like you’ve been thinking about doing since the river today?”
“Am I easy to read or have you failed to mention that you’re a mind reader?”
“The first one,” you teased.
“All those years of intelligence operative training were wasted, apparently,” he chuckled.
“Your secret’s safe with me.”
You met him halfway, closing the distance and melting into a kiss that tasted of the sweet-tart strawberry juice still on your lips. You took your hand from his face to tangle your fingers in the hair at the back of his head, definitely longer than regulation, and he continue pressing his lips to yours over and over, as if making up for every moment tonight that he had wanted to kiss you but didn’t. You lost track of how many strawberry sweet kisses the two of you exchanged between bites, conversation, hushed bursts of laughter, and even more strawberries. And you thought that if this was part of your normal, no matter how fleeting, you could be pretty happy with this.
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yourlocaltreesimp · 6 months ago
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I (beg) ask if you can write anything Fierce Deity related. I don't want anything else, just that you write for my boy. (Pls us FD simps are starving).
Ah believe me I know y’all are dehydrated beyond the word’s meaning. I know the struggle (I really do) So I hope I do your boy (man) ((celestial being?)) justice!
(fir post writing: wow this is a LOT of context y’all don’t want or need, but my hands hurt so… part 2?)
☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
Immortality is a lonely existence. There are few beings that obtain an average life expectancy to that of a god. There are even fewer again who have immortality. Proper immortality. Not the poor results of a fae deal or some curse to age and wither without death. No. Proper immortality, exempt of aging past maturity and death herself.
That made his current predicament worse. Much, much worse than being stuck in a wooden mask.
You see, Gods and the immortal beings alike are rather fickle beings. They do glorious things to entertain or punish the mortals to have their names etched into stone and uttered in myth through centuries. They only wish to exist in temples of incense and candlelight, where the people there would do anything for even the cast of an eye.
Fierce had always thought those gods were the worst. All temples would crack. All names would be forgotten. All clay tablets and pots would be broken, ironically even by their proclaimed heroes. But that’s getting ahead of us. He was worshipped only in the grounds he was made for. It didn’t matter the land, for blood soaks into soil the same no matter what. It didn’t matter the men, the corpses were plentiful and he hardly discriminates. It didn’t even matter who won, because there are no winners in war.
He was made to fight, and he was made to kill. And so he did. His name rang throughout time between soldiers and emperors alike. Both tried to gain his favour. Occasionally there would be a temple, occasionally there’d be some mortal claiming to bear his blood, occasionally he’d care.
Regardless, it all came to the same ending. The men would die, the temples would crack and his name would fade into obscurity again.
It was supposed to.
But it seemed the others didn’t like that he was beating them at a game he didn’t want to win.
‘Cruel’ they called him, ‘Violent’ ‘Inhumane’ ‘Rabid’ ‘Irate’ ‘Improper’
And so, they condemned him. And he was forever no more.
Eras passed.
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years… And truly, he was nothing.
Just as they promised.
Some relic like their old tales, except he could not crack and wither.
He was lonely, perhaps just as much as before in hindsight. The fickle attention he did have was only worth something if he willed it.
At some point, He was awoken again. There were hands on his cheeks, shaky and blood covered. And there was light. The person who had called upon his spirit was not in good shape, blood spilling from their weak body as they were chased by odd looking men. A pack of wolves set on a lamb.
He’d learn throughout the next few months of hiding you and sharing your consciousness that the people of your village had thought you to be a witch. As such, you were beaten and chased.
You were a doctor, you’d told him.
You’d just tried to cure someone.
And such began his problem.
He’d never saw the purpose of mortals. They were future bodies, to him. They’d live to die. Sure, it’s better than the alternative of there only being gods, but they never held much worth to him.
Not until you.
You are good. In every way the short comings of language can express you are good. You’d devoted your life to a thankless existence and the nature of living had caught up to you. Good things didn’t deserve that. Good people didn’t deserve to live the life you led.
He was not so cruel as to condemn you to that fate.
And so, he began to help. Once gaining a physical form, (through much trial and error) He’d do the work you couldn’t manage. Hunting, building, sewing, cooking, he’d do as much as possible. He knew what it was like to be turned back upon by everyone. But you wouldn’t be able to grow past that. Not in your short life.
He held you as you shuddered and cried. He tended to your wounds and sickness. He did and would do whatever it took to see you happy again.
He did not, however, see the consequences.
It took him far too long for his comfort to realise that you were not simply accompaniment. You consumed his waking thoughts and filled his dreams. He lived around you, your wants and your needs. He began to eat because it made you comfortable, He slept because you liked to be near him, He humanised himself because it made you happy.
He would’ve renounced his title as a god to make your life perfect, or as close to as it could be.
But He could not.
He could not simply marry you and go about your lives knowing you had one another. He could not have you to hold forever. He could not always love you in sickness and health no matter how much he tried. Because at the end of the day, it’s until death do you part.
Or… do you?
(part 2? perhaps? maybe? perchance?)
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ironstrange1991 · 1 year ago
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Shared
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Pairing: Doctor!Strange, Defender!Strange, Supreme!Strange x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: An ordinary night turns into a very hot lovemaking session where the reader is shared between three Stephens.
Word Count: 1,7k
Warnings: Polyamorous relationship dinamics. +18 SMUT: Face sitting, oral sex with male and female receiving, cum on face, unprotected p n v vaginal sex, creampie.
A/N: This one was based on a dream I had a time a go and I gave my best to transform it into something reasonably close to a fic. It's short, but it doesn't have any plot so I think it will be enough. Hope you guys enjoy it and have a nice reading ;)
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You were panting. Sweat running down your neck, the drops running down to the valley of your breasts as you continued to accept what was offered to you: A voracious tongue that was tearing you apart with so much passion and a delicious cock for you to play with whether with your hand or mouth. So much pleasure.
The day started normally, even boring, and you wondered how you had ended up there. In fact, this was a recurring question in your mind: how did you always manage to transform the most common and routine nights into moments worthy of the best porn movies scenes? Stephen was the answer. In fact, all three Stephens were.
It was difficult to be around them without you ending up in bed, or like now, on the carpet in the Sanctum living room. Whether it was with one, two or all three at the same time, you were insatiable when it came to making love with them and who could judge you? Stephen Strange looked like he was sculpted by the gods, his body never failed to impress you and combined with that face? Come on, it just wasn't fair! However, you didn't know if the term making love corresponded to what you were doing tonight. It was pure and unholy kink sex.
Tonight, before you could even understand where the usual kisses and teasing were leading, Defender demanded that you sit on his face and let him eat you. It was his idea of ​​relaxation and he had had a rough day at the Kamar Taj that he didn't want to talk about. It was unusual for Defender to demand sex and when he did you simply obeyed.
 He lay down on the carpet and you carefully sat on his face as he instructed, being careful not to release all your weight so as not to suffocate him, but he grabbed your thighs and pulled you down and started eating you like a hungry man. God, the sounds it made were so arousing. Defender was the best in oral, you never got tired of having his face between your legs.
Of course, Stephen and Supreme would also claim a part of you tonight. They were just as desperate to have you as Defender was and you knew they liked sharing you as much as you liked being shared. They liked to watch as well, and you liked to be watched and things worked devilishly well between the four of you.
When your teasing took you and Defender to the floor, Stephen watched for a few minutes, but being the most impatient of the Stephens, he soon got up and came to stand in front of you, he freed the extremely hard cock from its confines and gave you one of his incisive looks.
"Why don't you play with my cock for a bit, sweetheart? I can't stand just watching. Need you to touch me." He confessed.
You responded with a loud moan, your reaction to the delicious suction Defender was providing to your clit. Stephen smiled widely, taking advantage of the moment to put the head of his cock in your mouth. You sucked on it as if it were a lollipop and flicked your tongue in his frenulum, just the way he loved.
"Oh shit, this feels good." He praised.
You wanted Supreme to join you. You wanted to take turns on their cocks and make them cum on your face, but he had other plans. He knew very well how much you liked watching him and he liked showing off. It was the perfect combination. So, he stuck his hand down his pants and pulled his cock out, spat on his own hand and started stroking himself while he watched Defender aeating you and you sucking Stephen's cock. And he made a point of being very loud. He knew very well what it does to you, how much you love his baritone in this particular context.
And there you were, panting, sweating, overstimulated after cumming in Defender's mouth and he kept going, grinding you against his mouth, rubbing his beard on your pussy, making you hump his face to get off one more time while Stephen took control of your mouth, face fucking you and going deep, holding your hair roughly to keep you still while he fucked your throat. The roughness of the act felt like paradise to you.
"Oh fuck, sweetheart. Wanna cum deep in your throat. What do you think?"
You hummed a negative and he chuckled taking his dick out of your mouth to let you speak. He wiped away a tear running down your cheek with his thumb.
"On my face." You asked without any shame.
"Yeah? Are you going to make me mess up that pretty hair?"
You nodded "I don't mind."
Stephen chuckled. "I know. Just want my cum all over your face, uh? Such a dirty girl. Do you like being a dirty girl for daddy?"
Your pussy fluttered at the way he referred to himself and a moan escaped your lips.
Defender groaned beneath you, the vibration making you see stars. You were so close.
Stephen smiled satisfied. "You love it when I call myself daddy, don't you? Use your hands then, and suck on the head. I'm almost there."
You obeyed, enjoying the sweet noises he made. Your eyes however were fixed on Supreme stroking his cock. He was sweaty as well, his breathing was uneven, his chest rising and falling in a rapid rhythm, his cock rigid as a rock, veiny and red and one thing led to another. The delicious friction of your clit on Defender's lips, tongue and beard dragged you to your limit eliciting a loud moan from your lips as you sucked and stroke Stephen's cock bringing him to his limit as well. He replaced your hands with his quickly stroking himself with much more vigor and warned you "I'm going to cum. Stick your tongue out, I want you to get a taste of it."
His load spurted onto your face and tongue and your eyes were fixed on Supreme and watched in fascination as he came almost in sync with Stephen. His cum spurting all over his stomach. Their moans and grunts were almost animalistic and dragged you to your own hot and wet climax. You came in Defender's mouth. Again.
Stephen wiped your face with his own hand. "What a beautiful mess, sweetheart. Gonna take a shower now. They will take care of you for me."
You just hummed in response watching him stepping away and Defender grabbed you moving the two of you in one quick motion placing you underneath him. He was a mess. His face was red and wet with your slick, his hair disheveled and falling from his ponytail, his eyes were darkened with desire. He quickly settled himself between your legs and quickly unbuttoned his pants and entered you with a certain desperation.
"Fuck baby, you feel so good. I love this sweet pussy so much, love to eat you, you taste so fucking good." He cooed thrusting in a slow and steady pace. You wrapped your legs around his hips allowing him to go even deeper.
His cock that had been neglected for so long was pulsing violently inside you and you knew it wasn't meant to last, he just wanted a warm place to empty himself. And that's what he did. He grabbed your chin and pulled you to his lips and gave a few more thrusts and then stopped. You felt him spilling into you and you kissed him back, your tongues dancing together with lust. The taste of Stephen's cum was still in your mouth, now also in Defender's mouth, and it fascinated you to know that he didn't mind.
When he finished, he rolled to the side on the carpet and you supported yourself with your elbow, brushed aside some strands of hair that were on his face and cupped his cheek.
"Better now?" You asked and he closed his eyes leaning on your hand and nodded.
"So much better."
He opened his eyes and smiled affectionately " I love you, baby."
"I love you too."
You sat down feeling your entire body go soft like jelly, but you knew it wasn't over when your eyes met Supreme's.
"Come here." He asked, patting the sofa. You forced yourself to get up and went to him and he helped you to straddle him.
He was hard again, which was no surprise. He hold his hand under your chin and demanded. "Spit."
You obeyed and he brought the saliva to his cock and you were eager to direct it inside you. When you sank down on his cock the intrusion caused a wet noise and you felt Defender's cum running down your thighs. So dirty and so good.
He grabbed your ass cheeks and started moving you on his cock. You placed both hands on his shoulders and let yourself be handled, your head fell back and you closed your eyes.
"Oh my god Stephen, you're fucking me so good. Cock feels so good inside me."
Stephen groaned, pleased with the praise. If there was one thing Supreme loved, it was being praised by you.
"Yeah? Pussy feels amazing too, honey." He moaned and you could feel his dick throbbing inside you, begging for his release.
"Oh shit, I won't last, love. This pussy is magical. Wanna come so badly."
You cupped his cheek leaning forward to kiss his lips. He held your face in his hands kissing you passionately.
You couldn’t cum again that quickly, but you didn’t care. All that mattered at that moment was him, his pleasure, how much he loved you.
"It's okay, Steph, come for me. Love you so much."
He grinned at you and held your waist tightly with both hands and started thrusting up, he gave a couple of hard thrusts and then stopped completely.
"Oh, fucking take it." He groaned between his teeth as he spilled himself inside you.
You caressed his face and brushed away a strand of hair that fell from his forehead.
"I love you, Y/n." He whispered as a secret "I love every minute we spend together. And I like to share you."
"And I love to be shared." You smiled, giving him a small kiss on the lips and getting up. "And I love you too, Stephen, but now I think I need a shower."
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louloulemons-posts · 1 year ago
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Oil At The Coffee Shop IX
Eddie X Fem!Reader
Summary : Eddie tells Reader about the Upside Down, but she still thinks he’s beautiful.
Word Count : 2.5k
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Warnings : Not proofread, angst, 18+, SMUT, talks of the upside down, eddies issues, vecna, smutty smut, choking, dom!eddie, oral (fem receiving), unprotect sex(for the love of god use protection), sadness then smut, this part is sad and horny 🫶🏻
A/N : This is my first time writing smut so apologies if it’s awful, also if you don’t want to read it, you are more than welcome to skip it 🤍
Fic Masterlist
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
You pushed open the door, letting yourself and Eddie in, flicking on the lamps dotted around. You hung your bag back up, dropped your keys, going to the couch so you could take your shoes off.
Eddie mimicked these actions, hanging his leather jacket up, and sitting down next to you. “Do you anything to drink before?” you asked him. “No, thank you though. I think I should just get it out of the way.”
“Okay.”
“And if it’s okay, could you just let me speak before you ask any questions, you can ask me anything after. Is that alright?”
“That’s fine, anything you need Eds,” you could tell he was uncomfortable, frightened even.
He sighed, unable to begin talking, you took his hand gently. “Take your time Eds, do what you need to do.” He nodded, offering a weak smiled.
“Just before the Summer of 86, something started. It started in my life anyways, it actually began in 83. Anyways, I was a troubled kid, was on my third try of my senior year, barely passing anything.
“I was um … selling drugs so me and Wayne could get by easier. Then one day this girl, a cheerleader, her name was Chrissy, she came up and asked to buy from me. Wanted really strong stuff.
“I didn’t keep it on me, it was at my home. The trailer. So after school we went there … I um …” he paused, taking a deep and shaky breath. You squeezed his hand, rubbing your thumb on the back of it.
“Take your time,” you said softly. He nodded, before taking another breath and continuing. “I went to my room to grab the stuff and when I came back, she, Chrissy I mean … she um … was in some sort of trance.
“I tried to wake her up. Her body was thrown against the ceiling. Something pulled her apart from the inside out. Every bone in her body was broken, her eyes were … I ran. I ran out. I left her there.
“Everyone thought it was me, so I hid.” He continued, explained how Dustin had found him, along with Steve, Robin and Max.
He told you about Vecna, about El. About the two other kids who were killed at the monsters hands, Fred Benson and Patrick McKinney.
He told you about the Upside Down. About the great final battle. Him playing guitar.
“I broke the rope, Dustin was stuck in this world and me in the Upside Down. I ran. I made as much noise as I could. The bats they um … they attacked me.
“Ripped me apart. It’s why I look … it’s why I look the way I do. Vecna was doing the same thing to Max that he did to Chrissy. She barely survived, but she’s a strong kid.
“If it wasn’t for El, neither of us would be here. She killed Vecna, saved Max. She was hurt, but she was alive. Steve, Robs and Nance came back, dragged me to the trailer.
“The doctors saved me. Well El did most of the work. Then … then Hopper came back, vouched for me. It got blamed on someone else, Jason Carver.
“Not everyone believes that. I’m still the town freak. People think that I summoned Satan to destroy the town. I didn’t. I was so scared. Then the earthquakes, the landslides, I was just hoping Wayne made it out.
“I didn’t care if he hated me, I just needed him alive. He’s all I got.”
“All you had,” you corrected, “You’ve got me now.”
“I do? You believe me? You don’t hate me?”
“Yes, yes and no.”
“I was so scared that you’d never want to see me again.”
“I believe you. I’m sorry that all happened to you Eds and I’m sorry people still judge you for it.”
You could now recall the times people looked at him funny, or stopped talking when he entered the room, or when they crossed the road to avoid him.
“I um … I’ll let El and Max tell you their stories, it’s not for me to say anymore. I still don’t really understand myself.”
“Thank you for telling me. You did so well.”
“I-I’m sorry that I had to tell you, but you needed to know. I couldn’t have you see me and not know what happened. That’s if you still want to see me?”
“Eddie you might not think it, but you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I want to see you, I want to see all of you if you’ll let me. No matter what you’ll be beautiful to me.”
He pressed his mouth to yours, face damp after what he’d just told you. “We don’t have to do anything, but if you want to stay you can.”
“I’d like the company if that’s okay?” he says, almost shyly.
“That’s more than okay. Hey I’ve got Cherry turnovers downstairs, let’s go get some.”
“What time do you have to be up tomorrow?” he asked.
“Shop opens at 9, but the girls get here at 8. I have to finish up stuff so I’ll be up around 6:30.”
He hummed, nodding. “Okay, well I have to get to work too.”
“Okay, now come on. Let’s go get treats.”
He laughed, as you pulled him with you.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
You headed into the kitchen and opened up a box full of the turnovers, handing one to Eddie and taking one off yourself. Both of you stood close together, chomping at the delicious pastry.
You smiled at Eddie before you eyes caught something else, “Oh my god,” you said.
“Hm? What?” he asked.
“That’s why you freaked out about the cake! Oh Eddie I’m so sorry!” you said, remembering the small fondant creatures.
“Hey, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. I was just having a rough day with it. Was dealing with my feelings about you too.”
“Oh yeah? How long have you had these feelings?”
“A while.”
“You’re gonna have to give me more than that Munson.”
“No way!”
“Mean,” you pouted.
“What was that?” he asked.
“Nothing,” you smiled.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Sweetheart,” he said, lifting your chin so you’d meet his eyes, “What did you call me?”
“Mean,” you spoke, voice almost a whisper.
“Am I? Am I mean?” he asked.
“I-I …”
“Come on, what happened to the mouthy girl here a few minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
He kissed your forehead, “It’s sadly too late for that. I’ll show you how mean I can be.” He attacked your lips, holding you close to him. His lips traveled down to your neck, kissing and biting, just like how you’d been doing to him, hours before.
“E-Eddie we can’t h-here,” you stuttered, breathless at the feeling of his lips on your neck. “It’s n-not hygienic.”
“Not hygienic,” he laughed into your neck, “Okay then Sweetheart, jump for me.”
You did as he asked, he caught your thighs, legs wrapping around his waist. “Would your bed be more hygienic?” he asked.
“That does sound better.”
“Okay baby, whatever you want,” he said, stealing a kiss.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
As soon as you made it into the apartment, Eddie was in your room. Dropping you on the bed gently. Leaning up on your elbows you smiled at him. “God Sweetheart you’re so fucking beautiful,” he spoke, climbing onto the bed and between your legs.
Mouths on one another, tongues fighting, but somehow in sync with one another. Hands grabbing anything they could. “Can I take this off?” Eddie asked, playing with the hem of your shirt.
You nodded. “Use your words Sweetheart.”
“Yes.” Sliding off your cardigan first, you raised your arms above your head, letting him pull the shirt from your body.
Sat back on his knees, Eddies eyes were filled with lust. You were the most stunning person he’d ever seen. He began kissing down your chest, leaving marks along the top of your breasts.
“Can I?” he asked, dragging his fingers up to the back of your bra. “Yes,” you say, breathless. Undoing it, the bra was thrown somewhere in the room - frankly you couldn’t care less where it had landed.
“Fuck baby,” he said, taking your breasts in his hands, squeezing them lightly. You moaned out at the feeling. Leaning down, he placed his latched his mouth to one of your nipples. Sucking on it, twirling his tongue around.
“E-Eddie, oh fuck baby,” you cried out as he bit down lightly. Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling on it, he nipped more. “God I feel like I’m neglecting the other, better fix that. Right Sweetheart?”
You hummed in agreement, making Eddie cock his brow. “Y-yeah better fix i-” You didn’t get chance to finish as Eddie already began his attack.
You hips bucked up into him, making him grind down his own. Feeling his bulge grow in his jeans, your hands wandered down, squeezing him through the denim.
With a pop, he let go of your nipple. “Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?” he asked. “I need you, please I need you,” you almost begged.
“I told you, I’ll give you anything you want. But you called me mean, so maybe I should make you work for it?” You eyes widened, you’d love to take him in your mouth, god he’d feel so good down your throat.
“Oh no, I’ll give you everything. You want me to make you work. Well no can do. You’ll take what I give you.” He began to unbutton your jeans, sliding them down your legs.
There you were, in only panties whilst he was fully clothed. He reached for the edge of his shirt, but hesitated. “It’s okay,” you said, sitting up to kiss his mouth.
Slowly you lifted his shirt up and off of him, there were scars and bite marks everywhere. You could see the doctors had done what they could, but the wounds were deep, ragged.
“You’re beautiful,” you spoke, kissing his chest, right above his heart. “So fucking beautiful Eds.” Your mouths connected again as Eddie climbed out of his jeans, pushing you down on the bed.
Lay in between your legs, his fingers trailed up your thighs. Biting, licking, sucking at your neck, his fingers found their way underneath your panties.
“God you’re so wet, all for me baby?”
“A-all for you.” You moaned when he brushed your clit, he smirked at that, rubbing again. “I bet I could just slide my fingers right in, better take the rings off.”
He went to move his hand, but you stopped him. “Please baby I need you,” you spoke, begging him. “What a dirty girl.” His fingers slid into you, making you cry out, the cold metal stretching you.
“F-fuck Eddie.”
“Already such a mess, better clean up,” he spoke, more to himself than anyone. Making his way down your body, he kissed everywhere he could.
Placing a gentle peck to each thigh, he let his tongue lick your slit. “Fuck!” you screamed, hands tangling in his hair. His mouth latched onto your clit, sucking on it, as his fingers curled upwards hitting that spot over and over.
“F-fu-Fuck .. E-Ed .. oh my god,” you babbled. “Does it feel so good?”
“Mhm,” you moaned.
“I asked you a question.”
“Y-yes, it feel so fucking g-good,” his fingers hit the spot again. “Who’s making you feel so good?”
“You!”
“Who’s that?” You could feel his smirk on you thighs, mouth licking you again. “You Eddie fuck. I’m gonna c-cum, fuck Eddie I’m gonna cum.”
“Yeah baby, give it to me. Cum for me, come on Sweetheart, cum.” You let out a cry of pleasure, clenching around Eddies fingers as you came. Legs shaking, he pressed soft kisses to your clit. Moving his fingers until your fingers weren’t so tight in his hair.
“Shit Sweetheart,” he laughed. You lay there trying to catch your breath. “You good?” he asked. You hummed, “Yeah.”
“Think you can take more?”
“Please,” you said, meeting his eyes.
“Do you uh … do you have a condom?”
“N-no, but I’m on birth control and I’m clean and I .. I trust you Eddie.”
He smiled softly, planting a kiss on your forehead. He slowly slid your panties down, his boxers following soon after. Fuck. You knew he’d be big, but fuck. He was thick and long and … well shit.
“Can you open up for me Sweetheart?” you legs spread for him, allowing him to line himself up. Slowly he slid into you. “F-fuck,” you moaned, he stretched you out so much. It felt so good.
“God baby you feel so good,” he moaned into your neck. Soon enough he was in you, bottoming out. “Can I move?”
“Please!” you cried out.
He did so, starting slowly, then building up a nice pace, nice and deep. You were squeezing around him. He smirked, taking hold of one of your legs, resting it over his shoulder.
Moving again, he was so deep, you could see him in your tummy. Each time, hitting that spot, making your body shake with pleasure. “Eddie oh my god,” you cried.
“I know, it just feels so good doesn’t it, fucking you so nice and deep,” his hips slammed into yours roughly, again and again, making you loose your voice.
You mouth was wide open and no sound was able to come out, eyes in the back of your head as he fucked you hard. His hand slid up to neck, squeezing softly. Rings cool, but sticky as they sat there.
“Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum soon, your pussy’s gripping me so good,” Eddie moaned. “Cum-cum in me p-please,” you begged, voice weak as his hand squeezed.
“Yeah you want all my cum?”
“P-please,” you said nodding, crying out again, “I-I’m gonna cum again baby f-fuck!”
“Cum all over my cock, come on Sweetheart, squeeze that dick.”
You did just that, body shaking, a loud moan leaving your body as you came, eyes rolling in the back of your head. Eddie groaned, thrusting his hips a few more times, “Fuck Sweetheart, fuck fuck fuck fu-“ hot ropes of cum filled you up.
The curly haired man dropped into your shoulder. Both of you breathing heavily. He kissed your shoulder, and neck where his hand had been. “You okay Sweetheart?”
“I’m okay, are you?”
“I’m more than okay.”
He pulled out as gently as he could, making you whine. Climbing up from the bed, you reached out for him, “I’m coming, just getting a washcloth hang on.”
You closed your eyes, listening to the faucet run for a few moments. Footsteps came closer and soon enough a warm washcloth was being rubbed gently on your lower body.
“All clean baby,” he said, kissing your stomach. He slid his boxers back on and helped you into his t-shirt. Pulling you into him, you listened to his heart beat.
“I don’t think you’re mean,” you spoke up, which made him laugh. “Oh I know, but I wasn’t lying when I said, I’ll give you anything you ask for.”
“Kiss me?”
He chuckled, pressing his mouth against yours softly. “I adore you,” he said, making your face flush. “Now Sweetheart, let’s get some rest, we’ve gotta be up early.”
“Okay. Goodnight Eds.”
“Goodnight Sweetheart.”
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
A/N : uhhhh so i may have got a little carried away 👀
Thank you so much for reading 🤍
taglist : @corrodedseraphine @flawiette @witchwolflea @emxxblog @plk-18 @vintagehellfire @lma1986 @squidscottjeans @eddiesguitarskills @nanas-lasagna @halialex1119
let me know if you want to be added 🤍
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g0g0at · 1 month ago
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Malevolent part 48 spoilers live blog
Oooooh I’ve heard good things about this episode
Starting off strong with Arthur coughing his lungs up
BLOOD?! TUBERCULOSIS
Spooky hallwayyyyy
John is gonna take the lead this episode it seems
Ooooh more people?
Oh someone is speaking!
Kinda thought they would all have sewn lips
Who’s that?
This is more characters in one space at a time
Moreeeeeeee voicessss
Bro just straight up dying and these guys don’t bat an eye
Oooh ok so they’re all waiting
“Speaking of sick, who are you?”
Gerard? A vin- a what?
A WEEK??
So much for being late
Oooh I’m liking these voices
He sounds like s1 Arthur
Friendly Friar
I am gonna lose track of these characters so quick
Forgotten all their names already
Oh my god Arthur
There’s so much talking this is really different (not in a bad way)
Get a snack Arthur PLEASE
The witch?
Oh wait that guy is French
Spooky lady at the bottom of the stairs…
Slay the princess reference omg
I love this music
Who is this
This is making me think of the green knight
I actually do kinda need this layout refresher it’s hard to keep track
Hmmmm many characters to ask
Lengwood does not like him BHAHAHAH
EWWW
John is in support mode hehe
I do kinda like this character he’s interesting
Are they gonna get picked off one by one
“It’s only death” Arthur like “yes indeed, I died just the other day!”
I’m very curious about this Everard now
Hmmm well John and Arthur are seeking answers
Ah he knows… maybe
Ooh that’s ominous
Oooh someone is coming……….
Everard?
Modern… interesting
Oooh this is so ominous I’m loving this
“No issue navigating” interesting…
Something about the way he says consonants scratches my brain
Seems Arthur fits the Warren role well
Mmm an architect
“Short while” BEHHAHAHS that feels like a roast ngl
So we have a friar, warren, architect, doctor (?), anstronomer
These guys are gonna be a big help me thinks…
“Visions the others cannot comprehend” want a bet
Ooooh what will it be
Black stone teehee
“I am not affiliated with the order?” Order of the fallen star?
Yep
Arthur accidentally getting himself drawn into a cult smh
Tomorrow night… well that’ll be next episode I assume
Arthur is probably gonna try take it… maybe
Uh they can’t give him the ring from the order hmmm
Loving that they’re working with non verbal communication as apposed to IGNORING EACHOTHER
Uh oh…
Making note of the scars
Ngl Arthur that’s not the BEST excuse
Ah they’re stuck with eachother for a bit
Hope those walls are soundproof…
John was doing a description!
Mmm yeah I wonder what getting evolved with great ones would do to your faith…
Calling him a heathen HAHA
Arthur is back in the game YEAAAAH
Well maybe…
One of these guys is gonna get murdered FOR SURE
They’re going to pick eachother off
John needs to NOT sleep tonight he’s gonna need to play watch dog
Arthur admitting he’s not ok? Wow who’da thought. Character development!
Who’s moving around
“Sit” “it helps me think” I liked that little exchange idk
Why are you talking about football
He’s trying to get them to fight for it?
Mmmmm so it’s a test?
CALLLLLLLED IT
Murder mystery!!!
Who got murdered?
You think John suspects the power won’t work anymore?
It didn’t with the witch…
Or maybe he’s just nervous to go through it
Man they’re all pointing fingers smh
Ooooh it’s a who done it heheheh
RIP Lengwood
Friar might have done it but he could be a red herring
Well that’s a bloody murder you would get a little blood on you for that
These guys would not solve shit without Arthur
Common interest…
Ah ok order stuff
Devious devious
Ah the ring!!
Arthur can use their’s if necessary
Well shouldn’t you look at Lengwood’s corpse?
Yes yes
OH FUCK
You two need to get rid of that ring
ARTHUR YOU’RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK SUSPICIOUS
AURGHHHHHH
Arthur has an alibi but you lot can’t hear him!
Friar answered way too quick
“Don’t you mean again” BHAHAHHAHA
John is reluctant to touch the body… does the power not work anymore..?
Ditch the ring!!! Ditch it!! You don’t need it!! Or hide it in your shoe or some shit
SHOE PUT IT IN YOUR SHOE
WHY DID HE JUST DUMP IT
Barnabus jumpscare
Why you grabbing him like that stop that
This guys is a bit creepy
These guys have a guilty before innocent thing
“He studies your face with a cleverness. It’s hidden slightly, behind the veneer of alcohol” nice line I like that
They’re gonna buddy up?
There’s gonna be a brawl or something
Arthur you’re toeing a dangerous line
Everard WANTS you guys to be picked off, he’s not a good alibi
“I’m excited for you to see” the dead body????
Cool chapel? Sounds like it could be?
Oh Lengword woods
“His body is sprawled upon the steps, face to the side in grotesque tableau of agony. His face wears a horrible scream.” Great imagery goddamn
No ring… damn
You guys are bad at investigating stuff
Yeah they’re gonna wanna check your bag probably
How would they explain away Yorick?? “Hey sorry yeah that’s just my severed head, he’s chill dw”
Why is Elia on body disposal duty
Bro is poking at Baranabus BHAHAHAH get FUCKED
Loving the non-verbal communication between these two
What IS Arthur doing
HE’S GONNA PLANT IT. Or something similar
Oh Arthur you sneaky SNEAKY bastard
Clever clever
Everard just dipped BAHHAHHA
I know this is just how Arthur is in his element but also he fits the Warren role
So much for touching the body…
Why do people keep asking him if he’s a good person
Kayne? Horig? Or maybe the KiY??
Omg wait maybe is it Horig…
He was taken to the dreamlands?? Maybe…
OH WHAT THE FUCK
Why’d he do that?
Horrifying imagery, love it
BAHAHA HE’S JUST FLOATING
Well you missed your opportunity
“All you worship the way I do” ehhh Arthur not so much
Dang Everard is a horrid host
So someone else might die overnight
Your alibi really ditched you BAHHAHA
So Barnabus did do it? Maybe
Oooooh black stone next episode!!
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alwayssassydreamer · 2 months ago
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Wounds of War, Secrets of Life
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Day 21 of Kikitober
A/N: I'm gonna be completely honest with you but I think this story might just suck. I don't know what got into me writing this. It's really just a silly (stupid?) story - you've been warned. Oh and sorry for the horrible title my head wouldn't give me any better
Plot: you're part of the red hair pirates and beckmanns lover, when you encounter the kid pirates things get a little chaotic.
Warnings: can't think of any, swearing, threats, pregnancy reveal
Characters: Kid x F!Reader x Killer (Shanks and Beckmann mentioned)
You were stuck in this town after Shanks asked you for a favor. You had to deal with some minor pirates in his place because they were busy with something else - if you had payed better attention you would know what this "something" was but your eyes and thoughts were more focused on the first mate - the man you share your bed with.
Shanks knows your ways of bargaining without spilling blood that's why he asked you to go. Beckmann wasn't happy about it till you reassured him that, this was just a simple task nothing serious.
These were only some minor pirates he shouldn't be too worried about you. Besides one of Shanks' subordinate crew awaited you there and you always knew how to get under a men's skin and have them wrapped around your finger.
The meeting with the pirate crew went surprisingly well and afterwards the captain of the subordinates took you to a doctor. You had asked him if he knew someone who could check on you without immediately telling Beckmann about your condition.
You were about to leave the town when you saw another pirate crew. The red hair and the metallic arm sent a shiver down your spine - eustass captain kid and his crew were approaching you and Shanks' subordinates. The subordinates didn't have the strength to put up a fight with them and you certainly couldn't fight them on your own so you decided to pretend to be a normal person who's living in this town.
"This territory belongs to the red hair pirates" the captain of the subordinates shouted. Oh god how you wanted to slap him for that. Why did he have to bring that up? How can one person be that stupid. Now a fight will be unavoidable.
Kid smirked evilly. "Is that so" he asked tauntingly.
"Yes, we are his subordinates and we will not have you here"
"Oh you don't want us here, well that's a problem because we ain't gonna leave" Kid said smugly.
"Then we'll make you" the subordinate shouted angrily pulling out his sword while you looked at him eyes wide open.
The fuck is wrong with him. Is he stupid or what. Why did he want to fight that badly. If he wanted to die then that's fine but why drag you into this.
"Then get ready to die" Kid growled as the subordinates attacked.
Fuck you Shanks you cursed, mad at him for asking you to come here and then you got mad at yourself for letting him talk you into this.
You drew your own sword - crossing blades with a few kid pirates. You were able to fend them off but the others weren't as lucky. You were constantly torn between defending yourself and 'your' crew.
"Oi Killer" kid shouted as he easily defeated a subordinate. "The girl" he continued motioning at you. Killer nodded knowing what he had to do.
Suddenly two scythes were attacking you. Killer was fast - too fast. Dodging his attacks was harder than you hoped.
You let out a painful whimper as the scythes made contact with the skin on your shoulder and your arm. Though the cuts weren't too deep blood was dripping out of your wounds.
"Fuck" you cursed taking a moment to collect yourself when he attacked again. You clumsily dodged the attack in the last moment.
That's when 3 subordinates attacked Killer to get him away from you.
This gave you enough time to collect yourself. But not much longer. Killer had already defeated the three men.
You thought that this would be a good moment to attack Killer who seemed distracted. You raised your sword, as you were about to strike him with it it got ripped out of your hand. Kid was using his devilfruit to take it from you.
Killer turned around facing you and was about to attack you when the sub captain yelled for him to stop.
You could feel the cold steel on your throat and dared not to move.
"Why should I stop" Kid asked as he kicked the captain to the ground.
"She's a woman" the captain whimpered.
"A woman who has knocked out most of my crew" Kid yelled as he pressed the heel of his foot on the captains throat.
"Shanks' will not let you get away with killing her" This made Kid suspicious
"Why would that be? Now that i come to think about it why is she so much stronger than you are? Aren't you the captain?" Kid asked tauntingly but still a curious look on his face.
"I am the captain. And i will not let you hurt her" he said trying to sound as confident as he could.
"Shouldn't the captain be stronger than his crew? Unless she's no member of your crew" Kid said eyes now glued on yours.
Fuck this was bad. If he finds out that you belong to Shanks' crew or even worse you are Beckmann's lover you're in deep trouble. Ok as long as no one spills the beans you don't have to worry.
You shifted slightly which Killer noticed.
"Kid, I believe someone's a little nervous" he stated making Kid smirk devilish.
"Tell me girl which crew do you belong to" Kid asked you not paying anymore attention to the captain on the floor.
"I'm part of one of Shanks' subordinates. Not this one though" you lied trying to keep eye contact with Kid.
"Then why are you here" he asked as he stood right in front of you.
"A favor. The captain here asked if I could help him bargain with some other crew that's all"
Kid chuckled lowly as Killer removed the scythes from your throat. You were kinda relieved though not for long. You screamed in pain when Kid's metal hand dug into the cut on your shoulder.
"Don't touch the first mate's girl" the captain on the ground suddenly shouted.
What is wrong with that fucker. Does he hate you. Does he want you dead?
"The first mate's girl?" Kid asked with a sadistic grin
"Seems you've been lying to me mouse" he scolded hands wrapping around your throat.
"Tell me the name of this special first mate you sorry excuse of a captain. Otherwise i will snap her pretty neck"
You looked at the captain hoping he would be smart enough to make up a name.
"Jagger" that caught you by surprise. who the hell was jagger? you had to collect yourself otherwise your own expression would have had them realize the lie. Well seems that the captain was not that stupid after all.
The moment kid heard this name he looked just as confused as you did.
"Who the fuck is Jagger" he shouted looking over to Killer who shrugged.
"It's my first mate" the captain replied trying to get up only to be shoved back down by one of Kid's crewmates.
"I though you don't belong to this crew" Kid said tightening his grip around your throat.
"I was scared you'd hurt him if I did" god you were so good at telling lies.
"Smart mouse" he smirked releasing you. "Though this does not change the fact that you are part of the fucking red hair" he continued voice low and threatening.
"So maybe I should sent him a message by cruzifying you" he taunted you.
You started to feel sick almost about to throw up - not now please not now.
You had to calm yourself, breath in and out - at least that's what the doctor said when he told you that you were pregnant. You didn't tell anyone about it not even Beckmann you wanted to make sure that everything was fine before you brought the news to him. That's why you decided to seek out a doctor and not have Hongo examine you.
For a moment you had to blend everything around you out. Focusing on yourself and the baby.
"Oi mouse what's wrong. Did i scare you that much you look rather pale" Kid said snapping you out of your thoughts unwillingly placing your hands on your stomach.
"Kid I think there's something wrong with her" Killer the calm observer of the whole situation replied.
"What do you mean?" he asked as Killer motioned at your belly.
Kid looked at you for a moment then back at Killer then at you again.
"You fucking shithead," he yelled grabbing the captain by his neck lifting him up. "What's wrong with her" he asked angrily.
You looked at the subordiante shaking your head, mouthing a silent don't.
"What shouldn't he tell us?" Kid who caught sight of the scene asked.
Both of you looked to the ground not saying a word. You couldn't come up with something this time. That's when you felt Killer grab a fistful of your hair pulling at it which caused her head to tilt back.
"Don't hurt her" the captain pleaded. "She's pregnant" he blurted out in desperation.
This caused Killer to immediately let go of you. While both he and Kid looked surprised at you.
The whole tension changed. "Are you fucking insane" Kid yelled at you throwing the captain to the side.
"What?" you asked confused.
"Fuck I'm not taking on a pregnant woman" he continued cursing to himself.
Killer was just as taken aback and immediately apologized for hurting you.
"Kid, what about the father" one of Kid's crew mates asked.
"Oi mouse where's this father of your unborn brat"
Oh well, he's sitting on the deck of the red force probably reading the newspaper a cigarette in his mouth and sharing a glass of sake with Shanks. You wanted to say.
"Uhm I don't know"
"Then take a look" Kid commanded as you pretended to look around you.
The hesitation in your movements and the panicked look in your eyes made both Kid and Killer suspicious.
"Something's not right" Killer said as he stood next to Kid arms crossed both men not taking their gazes from you.
"I know, I think the mouse is lying" Kid said as grabbed your arm roughly pulling you closer your body almost colliding with his.
"Why am I starting to feel like you're fucking with us" he hissed.
"I'm not" you protested.
"Then where's this stupid man of yours"
"I don't know" you said lowering your gaze.
"Fuck this shit, listen up you motherfuckers who's the one that got her pregnant" Kid suddenly shouted over the place.
Those of the subordinates that did not pass out were looking in confusion, shaking their heads. The sight of this made Kid furious.
"I don't like being made a fool" he growled tightening his grip his eyes now full of rage. As you once again moved your hands unknowingly onto your belly.
"Are you even pregnant" Killer asked in a more calm voice though not less dangerous.
"Probably not" Kid said grabbing your hands trying to remove them feeling the bump that was covered by your wide shirt.
He looked at you dumbstruck as you gave him a warm smile even blushing a little.
He didn't say a word as he reached for Killer's hand only to place it on your belly too.
That was getting super weird.
No one said a word - there was an awkward silence in the air.
You sighed and took a deep breath.
"I'm y/n. I'm part of the red hair pirates where I'm usually bargaining/negotiating with lower pirate crews and well as you could already feel I'm pregnant. The father of this child is not a dude named Jagger, honestly I'm not even sure if this person even exists". you explained not knowing why you felt the need to do this.
"I think that's the first time you've been telling the truth to us" Killer comented.
You let out a small laugh while you could see Kid was thinking, like really hard.
"Who's the father" he demanded to know.
"Seriously what does it matter" you asked gently as he grabbed your face with his flesh hand.
"The red hair" he growled angrily.
"Worse," you snapped boldly "The one who took your arm"
Kid squeezed your cheeks a rush of anger running through his body. How he wanted to punch you right now. But something inside himself couldn't bring himself to do it.
He was a menace and he had nothing but hatred for the red hair pirates especially shanks and beckmann but he couldn't hurt you or the baby. After all everything that happened was not your fault.
"Kid" you said quietly carefully placing your hand on his to remove it from your face. Smiling at him.
"How did you get here" he asked out of nowhere.
"I uh got dropped off here and they will take me home" you said motioning to the subordinate captain.
"Fuck they will" Kid cursed. "You had to defend them, they're weak you're coming with us" he continued.
"What?" this whole day was getting more and more confusing. Note to self if Shanks ever asks for a favor again tell him to go to hell.
"No I'm-" you started to protest but Kid cut you off looking at Killer who suddenly picked you up and carried you to their ship.
"You're lucky scum, this time I won't kill you" Kid said taunting the suboridinates. "And don't worry we'll take good care of her"
The moment you arrived at the victoria punk you panicked. What was going on? Did he plan on hurting you? Would he use you as a bait? I mean after all you're his enemies lover.
"Relax, no one's gonna hurt you." Killer said soothingly as he carefully put you down.
"I'm not so sure about that" you mumbled.
"Don't worry little one" he said gently brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"You're lucky I'm starting to enjoy your company mouse" Kid shouted voice low and a smug smile on his face.
"You can't be serious right? Why would you want to bring me home? I'm your enemies lover, I mean he....he took your arm" you stuttered.
"Calm down, I'm doing this for the brat in your belly that's all. Now do me a favor and get out of my way" he scolded
"Take her to my room and tend to her wounds" Kid said to his crew mates as they showed you the way.
"Looks like you've grown a soft spot for her" Killer mocked as the two of them were alone.
"She's pretty and bold, I like her and... the brat in her belly...." Kid stopped, smiling.
"I did too" Killer replied knowing well what Kid meant a big smile under his mask.
"Maybe the brat wanted to protect mom from us" Kid joked both of them chuckling.
Thinking about the moment their hands layed on your belly feeling the baby kick was putting bright smile on their face and a warm feeling in their heart.
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specialagentlokitty · 1 year ago
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10th doctor x reader - that song of ours
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Soulmates were a baffling concept, someone that was supposedly perfect for you, who would fit like a part of a puzzle.
The doctor had seen the soulmate connections go from timers, tattoos, red string.
It changed every so often so nobody could break the connection, during this period of time, there were no soulmates.
And the doctor had never had this, he was always without it.
Until one day it happened, the voice inside of his head singing.
And that was the new concept, you could hear when your soulmate was singing.
And he heard what sounded like random incoherent mumbling and it made him chuckle a little bit at the attempt.
It kept going, and over time he heard his soulmate improve and sing such beautiful songs so strongly, but there was one song that seemed to be favoured and it became stuck in his head.
He found himself singing it as well sometimes when he was on his own, or humming it as he was fixing things.
Sometimes when he was running around you would be singing, and it was oddly calming in a life or death situation to hear your voice throughout his head singing softly.
He loved hearing you sing, and sometimes he would sing to see if he could coax you into singing if he hasn’t heard you in a while.
Even when he regenerated he loved the sound of you singing, but he was worried that the change in his voice would make you stop.
And for a while it did, whether it was the fact he sounded different, or something else he wasn’t sure, but he kept singing that song.
He kept singing it in hopes eventually you would sing that song again for him.
And he actually began to sulk when he hadn’t heard it after a while.
“Are you still sulking over that song?” Jackie sighed.
“It’s been months!” He whined.
“Maybe they’re busy or something.” Rose suggested.
He huffed a little bit and looked around as he realised he wasn’t paying attention to wherever it was that they were dragging him.
“Where are we going anyway?” He asked.
“Open mic night at the pub! Rose’s best friend is singing.” Jackie beamed.
“Oh doctor you’ll love them!” Rose beamed.
“I’m seriously being dragged to an open mic night? What has my life become?”
Both women slapped him and he yelped, rubbing both of his arms.
“What did I do this time?!”
“Just get.”
Jackie pushed him inside and Rose dragged him over to one of the tables to sit down while Jackie got some drinks.
Someone was up there signing, but the doctor wasn’t much interested in it, so he began to find other ways to pass his time.
And as much as it annoyed the two women, they left him be since he wasn’t actually doing anything he shouldn’t have been.
He was only tagging along because the TARDIS decided she needed a break and wouldn’t move from where she currently was.
So he had to wait a few hours before going anywhere.
More time passed and he had wondered in and out of the pub, he had gotten food, found some shop where he got some silly little toy to pass the time.
He’d tried some magic tricks that didn’t go so well, he’d tried some drinks and decided he didn’t like them, and he’d even taken a nap.
What woke him up was Rose slapping his back.
“Stop slapping me will you!” He huffed.
“It’s (Y/N)!” Jackie whisper yelled.
“And I was napping!”
“Oh stop being rude and just listen.”
The doctor huffed and put his head back into his arms in order to take another nap.
But then he heard the voice, and his head shot up as he listened to the song.
Looking at the stage, the doctor looked at you, and watched you very carefully, a huge grin spreading across his face.
“I’d recognise that voice anywhere..”
“What?”
Rose looked at him, saw the way he was grinning from ear to ear and she looked back at you.
“Oh my god they’re your soulmate?!”
He shushed her and went back to watching you.
Sometimes your gaze would flick to the table, then you’d go back to singing, and inevitably the doctor found himself singing along under his breath.
And he saw your eyes scanning the crowd to see if it was anyone in there, but nobody was singing along so you went back to singing.
When you were done the place erupted in cheers and clapping and you got up, giving a small bow.
“Thanks everyone, it’s nice to be back.” You beamed.
With that you headed back to whichever direction you had come from.
Jackie got up and headed back to bar for another drink, and Rose spun around in her chair.
“Seriously is (Y/N) your soulmate?!” Rose rushed out.
“I’ve found them Rose! After so long I’ve found them!”
“Oh my god wait outside!”
He nodded and went outside to wait, and Rose ran to the door to the back of the place just as you were coming out.
“Woah! Hey there!” You laughed.
You huffed her and she hugged you back before quickly pulling away.
“I’ve found your soulmate!”
“What? They weren’t there Rose, I looked. They were singing but they weren’t there.”
“He’s outside right now.” She grinned.
You shook your head a little bit and nudged her shoulder with yours.
“You’ve been drinking too much.”
“Oh just come with me!”
She grabbed your hand and dragged you outside despite you telling her that she wasn’t going to prove anything.
She turned you around and you found a man looking rather nervous, his hands behind his back mumbling to himself.
“Doctor this is (Y/N), (Y/N) this is the doctor.”
“Oh you spoke about him once.” You said.
You held out your hand and gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen.
“Nice to meet you doctor.”
He shook your head.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you.” He grinned.
You let go and he let your hand go, and Rose grinned as she looked between the pair of you.
“Have fun~”
With that she went back inside and you looked around a little bit, it was still light out, and you didn’t want to hand about the outside of the pub.
“I assume Rose told you already?” He asked.
“She did, but I don’t really believe her. Sometimes she gets a bit excited and tells me she’s found my soulmate, it’s not the first time.”
“I see…”
“Sorry, I mean I’m not saying it isn’t true obviously it’s easy enough to prove but she’s like that.”
“I can sing that song you were signing word for word.”
You hummed a little bit, crossing your arms over your chest and you gave him a look.
“Go on then doctor man sing it.”
So he did, he began to sing it, and you covered your ears to dim his voice, and you could hear it resounding in your head.
Removing your hands, you cracked a small smile.
“Alright alright, I’m convinced.” You laughed.
He grinned at you.
“So does this mean I can take you out on a date?”
“Oh someone’s a bit eager, how about we start as friends first?”
The doctor laughed a little bit.
“I can work with that. Why did you stop singing?”
“Ah yeah… I sorta lost my voice for awhile. Let’s just say alcohol and football don’t mix.”
The doctor laughed again, and you grinned a little at him and he smiled softly at you.
“Can I have a hug?”
“You’re lucky I like hugging people.”
You walked up to him and hugged him, and he hugged you back, moving from side to side on his feet which made you laugh.
You did have some questions for him, but you decided to wait to ask them, for now you just wanted to get to know the man who would sing along with you inside your head
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fandomtherapy44 · 6 months ago
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Castiel x reader Chapter 16
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Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.
Paring: Castiel x reader
word count: 4.4k
Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Guns
AN/ Hey Ya'll so I did notice that it's been a month since I've updated this series sorry for that. This is the longest I've written in a while so that's part of the reason why it took so long. Anywho hope you enjoy especially Cas's and Y/n Renion.
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Chapter 16: Good God Ya'll
POV: Y/n “Alright, it looks like you can go home.” The doctor said while putting her supplies away. “Great thanks doc.” She stops and seems to peer into my soul. “You know I have never seen a heart attack like yours I mean you're twenty-four, fit, don’t smoke it just doesn’t make sense.” Yeah I know but it's not like I can tell her that Angels exist and that they all pretty much hate me. “Uh yeah crazy.” I walked to the door. “You must have a guardian Angel.”  She jokily said. Oh, you have no idea.
I stepped into Bobby’s doorway to his room he was in his wheelchair just staring out the window. “Hey, what did the Doc say?” Sam asked me. “All good thanks to Cas.” Speaking of him where the Hell is he. Dean comes to us carrying an envelope. “It's been like three days now?” Sam and I both sighed. “We got to cheer him up. Maybe I'll give him a backrub.” “Dean” Again Sam and I both said. “Look...we might have to wrap our heads around the idea that Bobby might not just bounce back this time.” I mean he’s right this kind of news you don't just get drunk and forget about it.
“What's in the envelope?” I nod at the paper. “Went to radiology.” He pulls out the X-ray. “Got some glamour shots.” It was his ribs and it had Enochian engraved in his bones. “Is that why I feel like I have the worst heartburn ever.” I pointed to the picture. “Yup, curtsy of Cas apparently no demon or Angel can find us” Okay does not mean him too? Then Sam’s phone rings. “Hello? ...Castiel?” CASTIEL! “Speak of the devil.” “Ah, St. Martin's Hospital. Why? What are you—Cas?” Cas had hung up on Sam. And the Angel walks up to us. “Castiel…” I just got lost in my thoughts staring at him.
“Y/n I'm glad to see that you're doing well.” That’s it! He must have something on his mind. “Cell phone, Cas? Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?” Dean questioned. “You're hidden from angels now—all angels. I won't be able to simply—” He tried to explain. “Enough foreplay.” Bobby announced from his chair. “Get over here and lay your damn hands on.” “I can't.” What? “Say again?” He spun in his chair.
“I'm cut off from heaven and much of heaven's power. Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't.” What about me then? “You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?” I can see Castiel is sad that he can’t help. “I'm sorry.” “Shove it up your ass.” I feel terrible for Cas and Bobby.”At least he's talking now.” Dean commented to Sam and me. “I heard that.” “I don't have much time. We need to talk.” Cas directed to Dean. “Okay.” “Your plan to kill Lucifer.” “Yeah. You want to help?” “No. It's foolish. It can't be done.” Cas does really not have any fucks to give.
“Oh. Thanks for the support.” “But I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse.” We are wondering who he’s talking about. “Who's that?” “The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God.” Okay God right I mean why not. “I'm gonna find God.”
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Dean closes the door so people don’t think we're insane. “God?” “Yes.” “God.” “Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere.” Cas sounded so sure. “Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla.” Dean said and poor sweet Cas did not get the joke. “No, he's not on any flatbread.” “Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory—” “He is out there, Dean.” “—or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us.” Cas just glares.
“I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally—at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right?” “Enough. This is not a theological issue. It's strategic. With God's help, we can win.” he really believes. “It's a pipe dream, Cas.” Cas gets very close to Dean. “I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world—and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.” Damn, I don't think I've ever seen Cas like that before.
“You didn't drop in just to tear us a new hole. What is it you want?” Bobby voiced. “I did come for something. An amulet.” A necklace? “An amulet? What kind?” “Very rare. Very powerful. It burns hot in God's presence. It'll help me find him.” “A God EMF?” Sam questioned. “Well, I don't know what you're talking about. I got nothing like that.” Bobby shrugged his shoulders. “I know. You don't.” Cas turns to Dean. He looks down at Dean’s necklace. “What, this?” “May I borrow it?” Cas asked politely.
“No.” “Dean. Give it to me.” Dean is silent, he looks at me and I nod my head. “All right, I guess.” He takes it off. And hestionly gives it to Cas. “Don't lose it. Great. Now I feel naked.” Cas now has the necklace. “I'll be in touch.” He goes to walk out of the room. “CAS wait up!” 
He is very quick on his feet I guess having wings would help with that. I caught up to him and grabbed his wrist to pull him into a room ironically it was the chapel. We just stood staring at each other a little. I couldn't believe that he was here. I finally shake out of my trance-like state. And go to hug him tight like he would disappear in my fingers. And he does the same. “Cas were you really …. Dead?” I say right next to his ear. An answer came that I never hoped to hear.
“Yes.” A tear slips down my cheek and I squeeze him harder. We let go of each other slowly. We sat down on the pews. “So do you really think God will help us?” “I'm here aren't I” I sigh and process everything. “Ok, we will get God’s help then.” “Y/n do you really believe in this plan?” He wasn't just asking as a tactic to win this war but as my friend.
“I believe in you Cas yes God brought you back but you are the one who is fighting actively with us so no matter what remember that.” “Thank you Y/n, I must go start the search.” “Ok but now that you can’t just pop in where I am please use your phone that I gave you for that very reason” I finish with a smile. He gives me one back and files off.
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When I was gone Rufus had called Bobby sounding really in trouble and something about Demons. We drove up to this bridge in Colorado and it looked like a tornado had walked through. “This is the only road in or out.” Great. “Looks like we're going to put those scout skills that we never learned to use boys. Let’s Go!” I grabbed my pack and gun and we were off.
We walked into the town slowly and lets just that tornado had walked over and full on ran through. Cars flipped over store doors open … blood in lots of places. Sprilikers on for hours. I had been in haunted places before but I have never felt a chill in my body like this. We are checking out this car when we hear a gun cuck and we turn around. It’s Ellen.
“Ellen hey!” I go to hug her but she raises the gun to my face. Dean gets in between us. “That’s far enough.” “Ellen, what the heck's going on here?” And in response, she throws holy water at Dean. I have to hold back my snicker. “We're us.” He says annoyed, whipping off his face. We walked to a church where the survivors of whatever happened held up. When Ellen knew we were safe she threw herself onto me first for a hug. When she hugged Dean and she pulled back she slapped him.
“You can't pick up a phone? What are you, allergic to giving me peace of mind the only one to call is Y/n. I got to find out that you're alive from Rufus?” Dean seems surprised by her care. “Sorry, Ellen.” “Yeah, you better be. You better put me on speed dial, kid.” “Yes, ma'am.” All of us go to the church basement and theirs a demon trap in front. “What's going on, Ellen?” I ask. “More than I can handle alone.” “How many demons are there?” Sam asks in almost bewilderment. “Pretty much the whole town, minus the dead people and these guys.” Holy shit Demons are having super bowl parties.
“So, this is it, right? End times? It's got to be.” Ellen states. “Seems like it.” Sam replies back. Ellen knocks on the door and the makeshift peephole cover gets moved. “It's me.” Someone opens the door and we're let in, the people in here look like they've been through… war. They all look normal and one of them is pregnant. Peachy just peachy.
“This is Sam and Dean, Y/n. They're hunters. Here to help.” A guy who looks like he's the most confident out at of everyone comes up to us. “You guys hip to this whole demon thing?” “We have some experience.” I answered laughing inside. There was another man in glasses sitting at the table who looked especially like he had seen something. “My wife's eyes turned black. She came at me with a brick. Kind of makes you embrace the paranormal.” Yeah, I would too.
“All right, catch us up.” Dean told Ellen. “I doubt I know much more than you. Rufus called. Said he was in town investigating omens. All of a sudden, the whole town was possessed. Me and Jo were nearby—” What? Now that’s a surprise. The last time I knew she would rather have Jo be a Barmaid than a hunter! “You're hunting with Jo?” “Yeah, for a while now. We got here, and the place—well, the place was like you see it. Couldn't find Rufus, then me and Jo got separated. I was out looking when I found you.” Well, that’s great.
“Don’t worry Ellen we’ll find her” I touched her arm in a comforting way. She gave me a small smile in return. “Either way, these people cannot just sit here” Sam said looking at everyone. Especially the pregnant woman. “We got to get them out now.” “No, it's not that easy. I've been trying. We already made a run for it once.” “So we just reverse the plan-” Ellen stopped me. “Sweetie we used to have twenty.” My eyes widened. “Well, there's four of us now—” Dean tried again.
“You don't know what it's like out there. Demons are everywhere. We won't be able to cover everybody.” “What if we get everyone guns?” Sam suggested. “Sam you want to give walking nursery over there one she won’t make it five feet without going into early labor.” I said to him hoping to slap some sense into him. “More salt we can fire at once, more demons we can keep away.” Of course, it didn’t work when did my brothers ever listen to me!? “Fine everyone but her I'll carry two guns” I could tell Sam was ashamed but he was right, unfortunately. Dean broke our tension.
“There's a sporting goods store we passed on Main on the way in. I bet they got guns.” “All right. You stay. We'll go.” Sam said to Ellen. “What about—” I pulled Ellen into a hug. “Ellen if she’s out there I promise to bring her back.” She had tears in her eyes but kept them back to be strong. “Thank you Y/n.” I squeezed her arms and followed my brothers. 
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We stop outside the door well Dean stopped us. “Why don't we just go?” Dean directed to Sam about him and I. “What? Just you and N/n?” Sam clapped back. “Well, yeah. Somebody's got to stay here and start giving them Shotgun 101.” “Yeah. Ellen.” Sam starts to go but Dean stops him again. “No no no. It's gonna go a lot faster if you stay and help, okay?” “While you and Y/n split up to go get guns and salt and look for Jo and Rufus? That's stupid.” “Dean We’ll be okay.” “Thanks N/n.” But Dean was stubborn. “You don't want me going out there.” Sam realized. “I didn't say that.” “Around demons.” “I didn't say that.” “Fine, then let's go.” Sam stopped upstairs and Dean gave me an uneasy look.
Dean and I had gone to go look for Guns while Sam was getting salt. “Ok come on let me have it.” Dean said to me. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” I looked at the shotguns not looking up at him. “Y/n I know you, your silence speaks louder than your words so spit it out.” “Dean, I can't tell you how to feel about this.” “But you're judging me.” “No, I'm not.” I put the bag of guns on the table and filled it. I could tell he was still thinking that.
“Dean I think you're feelings about this whole demon blood situation is right but Sam deserves our sympathy with him.” “But he!-” “I know what he did I was there. But he’s our brother and I am going to choose to believe that he can handle this and if he can’t then I'll be with him every step of the way.” I stopped to take a breath. “I hope you choose that too.” I picked up the bag and walked out.
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We went to the store to check on sam and when walked in the scene was not good. Sam was bent over a body looking at the blood dripping off the blade like it was liquid drugs. “Sammy?” He drops the knife. 
The basement air had grown stronger with tension more and more the longer we were stuck down here and now seeing Sammy Dean was on edge. Teaching everyone shotgunning quickly is harder than it sounds. “Miss, can you show me?” It was the pregnant woman. “Mahm what’s your name?” “Caddy.” “Caddy, do you know the gender and name?” she smiled looking down at her bump, and that right there I knew I wouldn't be able to live if I let her out there. “A girl and her name will be Andra”
“That’s a beautiful name and Andra is the reason why I can't let you go out there.” She looked shocked. “But I can fight.” “I know you can Caddy but if you got hurt then you may never know your kid and I won't allow that.” She sat down tears in her eyes. “I'll fight for you double-fisting it so don’t worry the demons will get it no matter what.” I tried to add a little humor to it. “Thank you.” “Don’t mention it.”
“I'll be back.” I overheard Ellen say. I got straight up. “Where are you going?” “I can't sit here on my ass. My daughter's out there somewhere. I'm not back in half an hour, go. Get these people out of here.” Before I can say anything Sam speaks up. “No, wait. I'll go with you.” “Whoa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?”  My two brothers walked out. And I could hear the arguing. Suddenly the door pops open. Dean is up against the wall and Sam is holding him there. “If you actually think I—” Sam was getting emotional and they were talking about the demon blood.
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With Sam and Ellen gone the pastor was reciting prayers like crazy. And Dean was thinking, walking back and forth. Someone pounds on the door Dean goes to open it and there is Ellen. “Ellen, what happened Where's Sam?” I asked, seeing her state telling me that she had taken a punch. She doesn't answer me and just sits down.
“They took him? Demons took him? Oh my god. What if they're in here? The demons?” Caddy got very worried. “Caddy don't worry they can't get past that door.” I pointed. Dean grabbed a shotgun and was going to leave. “Everybody sit tight. I got to—” He glanced back at everyone and saw their faces and knew he couldn't leave them like this. “Okay, we need to get a plan together. Tell me everything.” He sat down and tells the pastor and he gave me a nod of his head like, don’t worry.
“Guys, one of them's in Jo. We got to get it out without hurting her.” Well, now it's personal. Ellen snorts, laughing at something. “It called me a bitch.” “Ok no offense Ellen but I've been called worse because I took the last hot dog at seven eleven,” I responded. “No, that's not what I meant. It called me a black-eyed bitch.” Dean and I hear and either these demons are looking in mirrors or something fishy is going on.
“What kind of demons are these? Holy water and salt roll right off. My daughter may be an idiot, but she's not stupid. She wears an anti-possession charm. It's all kind of weird, right?” Ellen commented putting the pieces together. “The whole thing's off.” Dean finished. “What's your instinct?” Mine would be call Cas but I know he’s trying to look for God or whatever. “My instinct? My instinct is to call Bobby and ask for help. Or Sam.”
“Well, tough. All you got's me and N/n, and all we got's you. So let's figure it out.” “You know I agree with Ellen Dean.” “All right.” “Ellen do you know why Rufus came was there a specific sign or?” I asked. “He said something about water. That's all I know.” Water? “Padré, you know what she's talking about—the water?” Dean asked the pastor. “The river. Ran polluted all of a sudden. Last Wednesday. And the demon thing started up the next day.” Interesting. “Anything else anything at all?” “Maybe, but it's pretty random.” “Trust me Austin in this life nothing is random.” he takes in my own words. “Shooting star—does that count?”
The three of us look at each other in knowing. “Real big. Same night. Wednesday.” “That definitely counts.” Dean goes over to the bookshelf and grabs one of the many Bibles. And flips through the pages till he finds the right one. “"And there fell a great star from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell upon the river, and the name of the star was Wormwood. And many men died."” I leaned down on the table thinking about it.
“I don’t know about you guys but that sounds like a giant ass warning sign of the apocalypse.” “Y/n’s right.” Dean agreed with me. “And these specific omens, they're prelude to what?” “The Four Horsemen.” The pastor responded. “And which one rides the red horse?” Dean questioned. “War.” war!? War. “Dean that sweet ride that was parked on main street the red Mustang.” I pointed out and he shook his head in agreeance. “If War is a dude and he's here, maybe he's messing with our heads.” “Turning us on each other.” Ellen concluded. “You said Jo called you a black-eyed bitch. They think we're demons, we think they're demons. What if there are no demons at all and we're all just killing each other?” I asked everyone in general to everyone. 
“So now you're saying that there are no demons and war is a guy.” Austin vocalized and he was right, our lives sound like they were ripped from a cheesy early two thousand TV show. “You believed crazy before.” Dean voiced back. Then there was another slamming on the door. It was Roger which is weird because I don't remember leaving.  “I saw them, the demons. They know we're trying to leave. They said they're gonna pick us off one by one.” “Wait wait wait. What?” Dean proclaimed our thoughts.
“I thought you said there were no demons.” “Austin there's not, okay.” I told him. “I thought someone should go out and see what's going on!” Oh come on! If I did not know about the supernatural world I would be pissing my pants right now! “They're gonna kill us unless we kill them first!” Roger responded in panic. “Guys please hold on!” “No, we got people to protect. All right, the able-bodied go hunt some demons.” Austin said straight back at me. He grabbed the shotguns.
“Whoa whoa whoa. Slow your roll. This is not a demon thing.” Dean tried to stop him.  Out of t the corner of my eye, I see Roger twist a ring on his finger. Fuck it's him. “Look at their eyes! They're demons!” He pointed at us and I'm sure we looked like demons. Caddy gasps. No no! “Caddy!-” But before I could get another word out Dean pulls me out of the room and a gunshot almost hits us.
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“Okay this is plan you and Ellen get Jo and I'll get Rufus.” Dean whispered to us. We nodded and went to them.Ellen sets off the bomb. Jo walks a little close to window and Ellen grabs her and pins her to the wall. Of course she tries to fight. “Now you listen up, Joanna Beth Harvelle.” Ellen pulled the full name card. “Jo its us!” “Get off of me bitches!” “Jo if we were demons we would have disaboled you by now!” I try to reason. She listens. “N/n?” “Yes!” 
Now both of them didn’t want to kill us we could talk. “We all on the same page?” Ellen asked. Rufus and Dean nod. “Good.” “Hi, Jo.” “Hey.” Ok sensing tension between these two I'll pin that for later. “Okay, we got to find War before everybody in this town kills each—” Gunshots. Everyone ducks. “Damn it! Where's Sam?” Dean yells. “Upstairs.” I let him go, I had a feeling that Caddy needed help. They have the horseman and I have the people.
Ellen and I tried to sneak out to the battlefield but it was pretty hard with bullets flying through the air. “Caddy! Caddy, you have to get out of here!” “No, you're a demon!” “Caddy if I was a demon I would want you out here!” she was going to say something else but I saw a person behind her holding a handgun.
“CADDY!” I push her out of the way and a bullet goes into my arm and I'm pushed back on the ground by the force. I don’t even have time to look at my wound before the guy gets on top of me with a knife. He’s about to stab me in the heart but I catch his wrists before he can slam down. I'm slowly losing strength and the knife is slowly going down. I’m sorry guys, Cas.
The blade is about to go in my chest when the guy stops. “What the fuck!!” He gets off. “Yeah me too dude.” I breathe deeply. “Y/n! Are you okay?” CAddy asked me. “Nothing a little dirt won’t fix.” I simled to hide my pain. “You saved me.” “It was nothing.” She pulls me into a hug. “Yes, it was.” 
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It feels surreal to be at such a wonderful beautiful place when the day was so ugly and stressful. I was sitting at the picnic table with my brothers twirling the ring in my hands. “So, pit stop at Mount Doom?” Dean broke the silence. “Dean—” “Sam, let's not.” “No, listen. This is important. I know you don't trust me.” Dean looks away and I nudge him to bring him back. “Just, now I realized something. I don't trust me either.” We both look at him.
“From the minute I saw that blood, only thought in my head...and I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, and it, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath...I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up I am. The thing is, the problem's not the demon blood, not really. I mean, I, what I did, I can't blame the blood or Ruby or...anything. The problem's me. How far I'll go. There's something in me that...scares the hell out of me, Dean Y/n. In the last couple of days, I caught another glimpse…” “So what are you saying?”
“I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways.” I think he's right if he needs time. “Well, I think you're right.” Dean responded and Sam and I were both surprised. “I was expecting a fight.” “Me too.” “The truth is I spend more time worrying about you than about doing the job right. And I just, I can't afford that, you know? Not now.” I feel like Dean is still avoiding his feelings but that's up to him. “I'm sorry, Dean.” “I know you are, Sam.”
“So Y/n which one of us do you want to go with. I thought for a minute and then I came back with an answer. “I think a little separation will be good for us all to sort through our own feelings without anyone else's opinion mixing in our own.” I want Dean to really think by himself. “Where will you go?” They both ask me. “With Ellen and Jo if they are okay with that.” Sam stands up and hugs me. “But you better still call me that threat could still happen.” I tease. “You too Dean.” “Yeah, I know my little sister can kick my ass.” He said as he hugged me. 
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Jo and Ellen are packing up a truck. “Hey, N/n came to say goodbye?” Ellen asked. “Um actually the opposite and I totally understand if you don't want to but I was wondering if you had space for an extra hunter for a while.” Ellen throws me a pack in response. “Well come on we just got word on a possible vamp nest in Texas.” Jo smiles and we get in the truck. I roll down the window and just hope that this time apart will bring us together. 
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AN/ Hope you all enjoyed and don't worry the siblings will be back together soon enough. See you Ya'll next time Xoxo Gossip Girl:)
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emperorpalpatittay · 1 year ago
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Waiting On You
Simon “Ghost” Riley x Pregnant!Wife reader
This is my first ever one-shot I hope you guys enjoy!
A little bit of angst in the beginning then tooth rotting fluff
No proofreading we sendin it
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Yarn over. Loop one, two, three. Yarn over.
Your face was scrunched in concentration at the crochet project laid over your swelling bump. A small blanket made out of the softest yarn you could find.
You had taken up crocheting as a way to distract you from your husbands absence. Usually gone for weeks or months at a time you were used to it. This time, however you’d heard nothing from him past the time he called to tell you he’d landed. He’d usually ring you at least once every few days to check in. He had now been gone for five months. Five long months of waiting anxiously.
For the first month you were a wreck. You were so anxious you were sick, or so you thought. You found out you were nine weeks pregnant. After the shock wore off you knew you had to try to calm down and distract yourself for yours and your child’s health instead of worrying yourself to the point of insanity.
Every doctors appointment broke your heart knowing your husband was missing from the room. Every time you saw your little one through an ultrasound was bittersweet. You sent him text after text.
“Call me please.”, again and again.
Just hoping, Praying he would answer. But no answer ever came. So you distracted yourself however you could.
Embroidery, reading, crochet, knitting, macrame, mosaic tiling, painting, shopping for and decorating the nursery, attempting to put together the furniture (did not go well), sewing, walking, etc. Anything to get your mind off of it.
It had worked for the most part but you would reach a new milestone in your pregnancy and the heartbreak would hit all over again. Your house felt quiet and empty, almost stagnant and suffocating. The few pictures you had of you and Simon hung on the walls covered in fingerprints where you would stop and run your fingers over them reminiscing.
Was he hurt, was he dead, had he been captured, did he not want you, was he ignoring you. You cycled through these thoughts.
On this particular day Simons absence hit you harder than usual. You had found out the gender of your child. You wept with joy before sobbing out of despair. You would be left to raise this child alone. Your little one would never know his fathers gravelly voice, or see his rare face splitting smiles.
You threw yourself into your baby blanket when you came home in an effort to distract yourself from your sorrow. For three months you had worked on the perfect blanket for your child. A beautiful soft cream blanket. Now that you knew your baby’s gender you would add the border.
You were so stuck in your project and thoughts you didn’t notice the sound of your front door opening and closing.It was the sound of his heavy duffel bag falling to the ground that shook you from your thoughts.
“Si…”, you heard his heavy footsteps and knew at once,”SI!!!” You scrambled to get up and started running through the house.
You turned the corner to the hallway and saw him. Balaclava pulled off and thrown aside, no eye black. He was in Civi clothes. No trace of ghost. He was just Simon, your Simon. He was here.
You slammed into his broad chest sobbing and thanking whatever god or higher being you could think of. He held you to him as hard as he could as if you could just disappear if he let go. You felt him try and steady his breath before just giving in letting go. Letting salty tears fall down his face and sobs wrack his body. He fell to his knees and brought you with him.
Putting his hand under your chin he tilted it up to look at you. For the last five months he dreamed of your face trying to remember every inch of it. Now here he was look at you using the rough pads of his thumbs to wipe away the tears and you did the same. You both breathlessly laughing through tears.
“You are so beautiful. Look at you. God, I missed you.”, he kissed the crown of your head and brought you closer to his chest, “My girl.”
“I was so worried, Si. When I heard nothing I thought the worst.”
He raised your head back up to look into your eyes again. Hands on both side of your face.
“I will always come back to you. Always. Death itself could not keep me from you.”
“I know it’s just the pregnancy hormones and str—“
You rambled without thinking and immediately knew when his eyes shot down to your bump.
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yes….”
His face went blank which caused you to panic for a split second before he broke out into a grin.
“Oh my god! I’m gonna be a dad. We- We’re going to be parents.”, all of the sudden his face dropped, “I wasn’t here. You’ve had to go through all of this alone.”
You turned your head into his hand and placed a gentle kiss onto it. “Shh my love you’re here now that’s what matters. I’m just so happy you’re back with us.”
He nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. An idea suddenly sprung into your head.
“Wait here darling I’ve got a surprise for you.” You sprung to your feet quickly waddling to grab the blanket off of the coffee table.
“Close your eyes!” You called to him. You could hear him chuckling to himself. You poked your head around the corner to make sure his eyes were indeed closed. Once you determined they were you walked over and placed the blanket in his massive hands.
“Okay, open ‘em.”
He looked down at the blanket noticing the blue border with look of awe and shock he looked back up at you.
“Are we having a baby boy.”
“Yes, my love.”
He pulled you back into him one hand behind your head to cradle it and another resting on your bump. His thumb stroking it lovingly.
“Hello li’l one it’s me. I’m your dad. Me and your mum love you so much already. We can’t wait to meet you.”
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lagunapoint · 4 months ago
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I’m really hoping for a happy arc for Lavellan and Solas in Veilguard, oh god. No surprises like him being trapped in the Fade while she’s stuck in reality, or having to make a painful choice about who gets to stay alive. Just no, please.
There are so many words and shattered hopes here, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stop myself. Grab a cup of tea, some cookies, and sit next to me, my dear Solavellan.
And now, it’s time to lay all the cards on the table. You know, I can’t help but connect the story of Doctor Who and Rose with Lavellan and Solas in my mind. These storylines mean so much to me, and they both break my heart in the same way.
Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with the Doctor Who fandom, I tried to write this as comfortably and clearly as possible for our little refuge.
Relationships that are doomed from the start but where the characters fight through all the difficulties just to see their loved one again... these fill me with awe and pain. (I’m not normal, haha) When creating such relationships, writers have a huge responsibility, and you can’t just trample on expectations, like what happened to me (and many others in the fandom) with the ending of Doctor and Rose.
(A bit of a description of the Doctor and Rose’s love so you can better understand why I’m so anxious of the Solavellan part of the fandom. Warning: Spoilers below. If you’re planning to watch the series starting with the Tenth Doctor, you might want to skip the next few paragraphs.)
He’s immortal, lonely, brooding, and full of regret. He chose the death of his people for the sake of the universe’s survival. He mourns them, he’s broken, lost. He can never undo his decision, and he no longer knows who he is. And then he meets her. She rekindles the light and hope in him. She helps him make the right choices. She changes her life for him, falls in love, even though she knows their relationship is impossible. He feels the same, but it’s like he doesn’t want to admit it. He enjoys her presence. For the first time in almost a thousand years, he falls in love. It slowly changes his world. And oh my God, their maximum intimacy is in their looks, their hugs, and the warm touches of their hands. (There were two kisses, but another being was in her body at the time. So it doesn’t count!)
How do you think this relationship ends?
It crashes into reality. She sacrifices herself and ends up trapped in a parallel reality where he can never exist. Never. It’s the end for them. Three minutes on Bad Wolf Bay. Buckets of tears. He fades away, and she’s left alone, crying along with me.
For years, she searched for a way to see him again. Her life changed so much it’s hard to imagine.
And then the moment of their reunion comes.
Hold your breath
And what did the writers come up with? Feel the strangeness of this decision: since she’s in another world where he can’t be with her, since he’s immortal and she’s mortal, let’s just create his mortal double and give him to her. They’ll be happy. haha. Happy ending.
Just imagine this horrible scenario (forgive me for this), where they create a double of Solas, stripped of all his godhood, mortal, and he’s given to Lavellan.
And Solas, the real Solas, with bitterness and full awareness of what’s happening, gives his Lavellan to him, then walks away into the mist. He loves her so much that he lets her go to another version of himself so she can be happy. Ugh. I feel awful.
Even as a teenager, I understood that this was utter nonsense. She’d leave that double in a day. It’s so obvious, damn it. It’s the worst decision the writers could’ve made for such a strong relationship.
And that’s it, the end. For almost 20 years, there’s been nothing more, and there won’t be. It’s over, and it’s just brutal. It’s a love story that got a happy ending only in fanfiction, fan art, and role-playing.
And that’s why I’m so scared for the outcome of the relationship in Veilguard. God, let it be a worthy ending for all of us few Solavellans. Damn it, this part of the fandom deserves some happiness already.
I truly wish I could have the chance to create a good ending for Solas and Lavellan. I’m sure that even 10 minutes of a cutscene would be enough to make us happy. If we don’t get happiness, then I’ll write another endless rant. In any case, there are always amazing authors, artists, and creators who can heal any plot shortcomings.
There’s so much sadness and doubt here, oh ir abelas, vhenan
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theninth09 · 4 months ago
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More Headcanons about Thiam and video games (part 1 here)
im slapping another greek mythology inspired game onto liams game list and claiming that he'd like hades
when theo plays stray, liam watches the entire time. even though he knows the whole game, liam plays it himself after theo finishes it because he loved it so much. and theo watches liam play the entire time too, because he also loved it <3 (im spreading the thiam kitty agenda)
liam almost cried when the wolf fenrir died at the beginning of gow: ragnarök, hated having to fight the wolf garm and then actually cried when fenrir got resurrected
he sees himself in both kratos (having been deceived into killing someone he loves, having to control his rage, evolving from being someone aggressive into being a gentle person/a god of hope and accepting that people will follow him as a leader) and atreus (constantly trying to prove himself, being impulsive and reckless.) the way their father-son relationship and their characters in general develop is very cathartic for him to watch
liam had a pokémon go phase and made theo drive him around constantly during it. he gets into pokémon in general afterwards
Liam's favorite Pokémon
Lucario (fighting, canine-like pokémon. prideful & loyal with a natural sense of justice that only trusts trainers with a righteous heart. can read the aura of their opponent)
Mewtwo (artificial/modified clone to make it the most powerful. it got experimented on, making it extremely vicious and lack compassion. in the 1st movie its later to be shown caring, protective & altruistic. liam makes theo watch the movie/explains its lore to him)
Type: Null/Silvally (chimeric pokémon that was made to be a weapon. need i say more? it turns into silvally when it finds a trusted partner & forms a powerful bond with them)
Umbreon (he mainly likes it bc he thinks it looks cute. its his favorite eevee evolution since its the result of being exposed to moonlight)
Mienshao (fighting pokémon are his favorite & he likes its design)
Resident Evil 7 & 8 (thank you to @greysonalexander for pointing out these parallels to me!!)
RE7 is difficult to play for theo. its main antagonist has some similarities to him (a child turned weapon that longs to have a family/pack, gets called a monster & punished for the aggressive way they go about acquiring it) and the setting (stuck in a house with a family that doesnt act like a family at all) reminds him of how he grew up: stuck in operating theaters with the dread doctors as his "caretakers" and the fake-families he got set up with
he has to take a lot of breaks and sometimes liam takes over for him and plays through the especially emotionally challenging parts for him until theo is ready to continue
RE8 is difficult for both of them. there are a lot of werewolf-like monsters (that were previously human) you have to fight, and the beneviento house + the DLC feature a lot of bullying, which liam struggles with. heisenberg's & moreau's area and miranda's lab are extremely triggering for theo due to heavy themes of experimentation and heisenberg's soldiers having a similar look to the dread doctors
usually they each play through a game on their own, but for RE8 they only play it once together and really take their time. they each take care of the especially triggering parts for the other. they dont skip playing it because it's also quite cathartic for them: they're in a safe environment, have control over what's happening and can pause at any time. they both have problems with being vulnerable and opening up about their trauma, so it's a good tool for them to confront these past experiences and also understand each other even better
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
they both got really excited over botw. liam absolutely hates the horses in the game, but theo has a soft spot for epona and is disappointed that she isnt in it. liam finds out that you can get her through an amiibo and buys it for theo
liam loves that you can change link's clothes and spends a lot of time farming rupees so that he can buy multiple copies of the outfits and dye them different colors
theo always drops the rocks onto the koroks' heads and once tears of the kingdom (the sequel) comes out, he makes it his mission to attach a rocket onto them and send them off into the distance every single time
More Games the Puppy Pack would Play
Pico Park (more yelling. so much yelling. uncoordinated, claws get unsheathed, threats are being made)
Stick Fight: The Game (alec loves the flamethrowers. thiam keep tag teaming everybody and keep winning without even having to use weapons)
Splatoon (alec thought the squid forms looked cool and begged the other members to play it with him. theo is the only one who ever covers the base and keeps reminding everyone that they wouldnt have won if it wasnt for him doing that. corey and liam love playing stealthily, either as snipers or just trying to otherwise surprise their opponents)
not a video game, but: mason got really into DnD when he was younger and tried to rope liam into it, who was only mildly interested. they ended up not being able to play anyway since it was only the two of them. so when the puppy pack forms, mason brings it up again as they now have a big enough group
mason is the DM. thiam basically end up playing themselves as their characters reluctantly fall in love bc they cant stop flirting with each other. alec casts fireball at literally everything. nolan plays a rogue, and all of them judge him for that at first, but he ends up getting really into character and surprising all of them. corey flirts with mason to get information out of him. gwen plays a lesbian barbarian (yes, her favorite bg3 character is karlach.) hayden is basically the only one with braincells
additionally: liam trying to flirt with theo (theo finds it endearing)
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