#there are also things lesbians will experience that bisexual women will typically never experience.

[butchviking]

"do you think bi ppl are het" I mean, functionally? 💀

And they always claim to be oppressed for being bi meaning they think their OSA is oppressed meaning heterophobia. I dont see how you can see such a good example of their victimhood addiction and not get it.

you think women who are attracted to and date and fuck women are functionally heterosexual? ok. that sounds like a severe You Problem.

why would saying theyre oppressed for being bi mean they're saying their opposite-sex attraction is the reason they're oppressed. ive never known a bisexual to claim that their opposite-sex attraction is the reason they're oppressed. 'they said one thing so OBVIOUSLY they meant this other thing' no... that sounds like something you made up in your head to get angry about. hm. maybe someone here does have a bit of a victimhood addiction 🤔🤔🤔

[skys-archive]

I think in honor of pride month and also in general forever we should stop trying fit queer people into the identities we think they should call themselves.

And I know no one is going to see this because no one ever does but I'm going to talk about it anyway because this is important.

Bisexual doesn't mean you don't date trans people, it doesn't mean you like men and women, it doesn't mean you can't have a preference. Someone can identify as polysexual or bisexual or omnisexual and have no preference and you don't get to say that that means they're pansexual. Because no, if they don't identify as pansexual then they're not pansexual.

Transmasc doesn't mean you use he/him pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a man. Transfem doesn't mean you use she/her pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a woman. You can be nonbinary or genderqueer or agender or any gender that isn't binary and not use they/them pronouns. You can use any of those labels and still identify as a man or a woman. You can use different pronouns than is typically used for your birth sex and not consider yourself transgender. People can be gender non conforming and not he trans. People can be trans and not gender non conforming.

A trans man can be fem. A trans woman can be masc. Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people are people, they deserve way more attention than a way to one up transphobes. Intersex people face discrimination and body altering surgeries without their consent and then are only ever talked about to say "some cis women have penises" or "some people have an extra x chromosome" and then we never talk about the struggle they face as part of the queer community.

Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. Some aces like sex, some aces are repulsed, some aces only experience sexual attraction to one person or once in their life, some aces need a deep emotional bond, some aces their attraction changes. Some aros change identities. Some aros are repulsed by romance unless it's a fictional character. Some aros have romantic feelings until they get to know someone. Some aros crave a romantic relationship but never have romantic feelings. You don't get to say someone isn't asexual or aromantic enough.

Asexuality and aromanticism is having a unique relationship with romance or sexual feelings and impulses. Someone who is transgender has a unique experience with gender. You don't get to decide that they don't have a unique experience. But guess what? You don't get to decide if they do either. Someone can have a unique experience and still not identify as asexual aromantic or transgender. You can cross dress and still fully feel like a man. You can use he/him pronouns as a cis women. You can have trauma around sex and not identify as asexual. You can never have a romantic relationship and not identify as aromantic.

You can have "contradicting" labels. I don't know as many of these because I don't personally identify as any but please fell welcome to add in reblogs. There are trans men lesbians and gay women. There are sex loving asexuals. I know there are others I just genuinely am not educated enough.

YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE SOMEONES LABELS

ANYONE CAN EITHER IDENTIFY OR NOT IDENTIFY AS QUEER

Please feel welcome to add anything in reblogs. I'm sure there's things I've missed. I haven't talked about neopronouns I haven't talked enough about "contradicting" labels. I haven't talked about queer platonic relationships or kink or polyamory or enough about intersex people or pronouns vs gender. There's so much important things but at the end of the day it's just so important to not choose other people's labels.

[tjodity]

dsmp lesbian analysis post

this was based on a misreading of a different post so now im rating how lesbian dsmp characters are. no real criteria just going off of vibes from a lesbian. based vaguely on how lesbian they are and how much they might identify as lesbian

C!Phil- (4/10)-he has a wife so thats something. he's kinda forgone most identities by this point he just does what he wants

C!Tubbo-(1/10)-im sorry thats just some binary gay transmasc guy. he may have briefly been a lesbian in his early teens so he had an extremely on the spot explanation for schlatt abt dressing masc but he likes men (a lot) so he never really had any attachment to the label

C!Ranboo-(3/10)-they arent really interested in women but he's got a lesbian gender thing goin on. guy with a weird relationship to femininity

C!Dream-(2/10)-she actually is a lesbian but no ones told her that yet and she's probably not gonna figure it out on her own. mamacita was an egg cracking experience

C!George-(0/10)-im sorry i dont see it

C!Niki-(10/10)- trans curious bisexual woman who wears a trench coat and has ratty dyed pink hair and knows how to tie a lot of different kinds of knots and not for boat reasons. she's having a full boar gender and sexuality crisis starting during the election. dyke as a gender identifier probably wouldn't occur to her but she'd like it a lot. she'd also like the old flag with the axe

C!Sam-(2/10)-not really a lesbian at all but if puffy squints hard enough while theyre making out sad style she can act like he's a cute butch

C!Fundy-(3/10)-he doesnt really call himself a lesbian but whenever he has a crush on a woman he in his head says he's being gay for her. accidentally postponed niki's sexuality crisis by transitioning to a guy

C!Punz-(10/10)-look at him. look at him. butch lesbian who kinda acts like a dog for the girl she's obsessed with. religious horror toxic devotion yuri buff lady general tragedy we got it all. also tommyinnit certified look

C!Hbomb-(3/10)-she's mostly straight but a lot of her admiration of other women and learning to do femininity in a way she likes kinda aligns her with lesbians. she believes in their beliefs

C!Sapnap-(??/10)-kinda in a quantum state of lesbianism for me. could go either way honestly. if her fiances want her to be a girl she can be

C!Karl-(9/10)-karl set off everyone's lesbian radar they didn't know they had which was really confusing cause it presented like a gay cis guy for a long while. tubbo just happens to ask her abt gender once on a whim n she's like oh no im a girl thing :3 and everyone else freaks out cause it was just not correcting them. it likes flamboyant masc fashion and being confusing

C!Quackity-(10/10)-watch the quackhalo date stream if you haven't yet i'm begging you. bigender transfem girlguy guygirl who wants to be someone's girlfriend and have a girlfriend or multiple or many. she's running the full gambit of presentation in a bunch of combos

C!Badboyhalo-(5/10)-Quackity brings out the lesbian in her (she's a closeted transfem lady and it makes her very flustered when she realizes q's calling her his girlfriend.) the bigboobies in bigboobyhalo are the result of lots and lots of estrogen

C!Wilbur-(0/10) he doesnt know lesbians are real

C!Puffy-(7/10)-the best way i can describe puffy's gender is that she is earnestly trying to be as confusing contradictory and horny as possible and it's working. she's a lesbian but only when she's a guy or just extremely down bad for some lady and if you called her a dyke she'd moan

C!Slimecicle-(7/10)-lesbian as a gender thing. he doesn't like using typical words to describe his gender but lesbian is the closest to standard it'll go

C!Hannah-(10/10)-she likes women. A LOT. and also worked hard to become one. just a lot about women going on in her life

C!Schlatt-(???/10)-he's got some shit to sort through n maybe that'll be a realization he makes down the road

C!Foolish-(2/10)-if you tried hard enough you could make him one

C!Tina-(10/10)-many of her actions are motivated by the need to kiss a girl with teeth

C!Eret-(8/10)-strong yuriful vibes

C!Tommyinnit-(9/10)-they are fucking ATTACHED to that label you can pry it from their cold dead hands. she also likes boys n is more platoniromantic than anything but. lesbian critter right there it's important to her

C!Aimsey-(-1000/10)-killed your wife idiot

[finalgirlagatha]

rate them on the homophobic scale from 1-10: chaddick, sophie, rhian, beatrix, tedros, kei, and agatha

WAITT this is fun. going off what i think from the books but also all of these characters are gay to me and i don't trust soman a single bit so. we do our best here.

chaddick: 8/10... something internalized going on there for sure. and externalized of course i didn't forget that 'fruit boy' comment from awwp.

Sophie: 7/10 i feel like until she realized the grip her village had in defining how she views sexuality, gender, and her own attraction to femininity she would definitely be the type of straight girl who thinks every lesbian is in love with her. she rejects masculinity in women because it's so unnerving to her she'd be the type to say "well if there's women like that what will the guys do? no one will want them." and then not realize. (lesbian sophie you will never die TO ME).

rhian: 9/10 i think he'd be like Sophie thinking every gay man is in love with him and he likes the attention but judging by the fallout out of jaric (which. fair) i think he'd hold some prejudice and even repulsion. "like have you even tried to kiss a girl though." and then if we dive into the layers of him and kei i think he'd refuse to look past the surface level of "he's my head of guard of course i need and love him don't be delusional. that's literally my dog." so. however there is something super interesting about how he introduced lionsmane as a literal deviation from the typical narrative of the storian favoring the rich and powerful hetero-patriarchal fairytales. it was a means to secure power but there is something there.

beatrix: 6/10 has been homophobic will not be again? came out? awwp is a hot garbage mess but I think that her liberation induced by the hands of Agatha and Sophie choosing each other was a big game changer for her. i've talked about this before but she definitely was in love with Agatha upon her return. beatrix was ready to go, her facade from the head ever girl went away with the snap of the finger. so i think the homophobia (which of course in the text was never quite homophobia but was also defined as forcing this hetero-patriarchy standard and the status quo) was just tool of that facade. it was real, but i don't think it was deep seated in her mind like these other things. beatrix is soo fascinating actually because YES awwp is so fucked up and stupid but to see her pursue a future without a prince with the same force as she endeavored to catch Tedros attentions in the first book shows how radical that was for her. NO MOM, A PRINCE WAS YOUR DREAM. and etc.

tedros: 6/10 this boy is bisexual 🙏 but he is not immune to the years of frat boy mentality heaping up from his dad and the other everboys.

kei: 7/10 he's gay but i don't think he's an ally... let me explain. i think that sexuality is just another tool to him to further the advances of rhian who is like. front and foremost in his mind. i'm referring to his manipulation of dot (and if you want to make it a little more interesting and relevant, tedros). also calling aric a monster in acot is super interesting.... drawing the lines there, huh. i see you.

agatha: 0/10. to put it shallowly, in my experience lonely weird girls are so sweet and accepting. to put it deeply, agatha grew up rejected by her village so she has a level of solidarity with those also rejected for not conforming. she didn't grow up in a house headed by a man, her mother was in charge and she doesn't really have that gavaldon hetero-patriarchy ideology baked in her like sophie does. my sexuality headcanon for Agatha fluctuates between bi or lesbian but she is definitely not straight (unless it's for a gag about canon!agatha). do you guys remember edgar and hester. yeah.... i got to reread that scene idk why that just popped in my head.

thank you for this ask!

[tirfpikachu]

unfollow for saying males can be lesbians 👍 lesbians don’t love feminine souls or whatever. we are same sex attracted females :/

that's totally fair. this is ofc very controversial, but as a lesbian who supports transmascs who openly live as gay men post-transition and face what gay men face from there on out and thus gain a lot from having gay men-specific spaces, i would support the same for transfem nonbinary ppl and trans women. transfems can't be homosexual lesbians in the technical sense, but they can live lesbian-typical lives and if lesbian, or at least transbian, makes sense for their lived experiences then i personally don't mind it.

i think some lesbian spaces can be female homosexual-exclusive. i think some gay men spaces can be male homosexual-exclusive. i also think that there can be bigger spaces where anyone who experiences consistent gay men experiences from living socially as a gay man, and anyone who experiences consistent lesbian experiences from living socially as a lesbian woman, could seek out people with parallel experiences. i don't believe lesbians love feminine souls or whatevs. i believe that someone can live as a woman and/or be female, and be only attracted to people who live as women and/or are female. so technically be bisexual, but also exclusively date ppl who live as women and/or were born female. to me it's about tangible experience and non-homosexuals being respectful and staying in their lane when needed. they don't understand all of our experiences, but they have immigrated into our lived experiences and now face what we face from strangers when they go out with their gf and are seen as wlw and when they refuse a man saying they're not into men but still get harassed into trying dick. not every trans person is able to ever reach the point of actually living lesbian/gay experiences, many don't pass and should be mindful of that. but many also do. and not the type that get their pics shared around on radblr who obviously don't pass -- which as a side note i also don't like, appearance-shaming and mocking dysphoric people will never help the radfem movement. but yeah, more trans ppl than you think pass as the opposite sex. and the average person hasn't seen the amount of trans ppl we in spaces high in trans people have seen, so the average person will assume someone's sex/agab and treat them accordingly if they have the right secondary sex characteristics. that means technically heterosexual people can face regular homophobia/lesbophobia and they deserve support too, they deserve community. this doesn't mean they get to demand ALL of our communities, but to me, as a detrans lesbian, i don't mind non-misogynistic, homosexual-respecting transbians the same way i don't mind non-homophobic trans gay men. there are a lot of creeps and bigots, but not all of them are. i'd welcome a radfem-friendly transbian anytime at my dyke cafe meetups 👍 and yeah, if she shows male-typical misogyny she's 100% gonna get the boot, but honestly i'm too curious to know what the experience of immigrating into lesbianism is for a male person to refuse. and i care about everyone affected by lesbophobia. i still want my female-only meetups too, and it's a case-by-case basis thing, but i wouldn't say that transbians existing and labelling their experiences that way is inherently evil or that transfem-inclusive lesbian spaces are bringing great shame to dykes everywhere or whatever. it's okay to agree to disagree with me, though. my spicy takes sometimes r too spicy >:]

[rotationalsymmetry]

Ok, but also: there aren't bi spaces.

I mean, there are now, online, you can follow exclusively battleax bi tumblr blogs if you really want to for some reason or hang out in a bisexual Facebook group that spends most of its time yelling at people for not talking about non-binary people the right way or go to r/bisexuality and post about lemon bars and movies that have hot actors and actresses.

But in person?

Just over ten years ago, in San Francisco (the city whose flag might as well be the rainbow one) I ended a five year relationship and decided that I needed to figure a few things out about myself, and that one of those things had to do with being bi, so I looked over the LGBT Community Center's calendar and found one bisexual event, a monthly support group. When I went to the support group (a few times, until I stopped going when I decided it wasn't really what I wanted or needed and they didn't even have tea) I found out about a casual social group of bisexuals who met for I don't remember, brunch or dinner or something at a particular time, and went, but that was under six people typically and they were significantly older than I was and somehow significantly even less cool, and I stopped going. That, and a bisexual contingent at the Pride march, are the only in person bisexual events I've ever been to. Or heard of.

(The kink community has "pansexual" play parties. But, that doesn't mean play parties for pansexuals, it means play parties that are open to people of all sexual orientations. In contrast to the queer men's and once in a blue moon queer women's/eh people in that ballpark parties. The vast majority of the play at these events is between men and women, although that doesn't necessarily mean the people playing are straight and quite a lot of them aren't.) (just for clarification; I have never heard of any events or spaces specifically designated for pansexual people. Granted I haven't looked recently? But I'd be surprised, bisexual is still by far the more popular/common label.)

While there can be a lot of informal social groups that have a high percentage of bi people in them, there just isn't a bi culture that wasn't just made up by someone on the internet in the past ten years.

And god if you've had different experiences please argue with me, I would genuinely like to hear about it. But yeah, that's my experience. That spaces that might create some sort of bi culture, that offline bi spaces, are rare and spread out enough to essentially not exist. Not in the way that "lesbian culture" (the bars the bookstores the dating scenes the robust social groups the printing presses the significant chunk of "gay and lesbian" spaces) (in quotes because "lesbian spaces" never have and never will exclusively contain women who like women and don't like men) exists. Bisexual women get straight land and lesbian land. We're binational. We don't have our own land.

[kyoosoup]

in honor of bi awareness week, which starts tomorrow for me, here are some reminders about bi people/being bi.

(and this is coming from a bisexual person, so it's basically just things I wish I was told sooner, or told more often.)

apologies in advance for any yap, I'm just a bit fed up with all the biphobia I've seen and experienced in general this year.

1. you can be bi.

starting off with what seems like a no-brainer- you can be bi! you're valid. shockingly, a lot of bi people get told that they need to "pick a side" and be either "fully gay" or "fully straight" or that they actually need to be pan/some other sexuality, otherwise they're homophobic in some way. It's not homophobic/transphobic/nonbinaryphobic/etc to be bi and we don't have to "pick a side". that's the whole point.

2. it's not "just a phase".

okay sure, there's a lot of people who identify as bi at some point in their lives and eventually come out as lesbian or gay or pan. but just because some people find other labels they are more comfortable with, doesn't mean all bi people will. not to mention, a lot of those people really do feel as though they were bi at one point. preferences change. for many, being bi is the label they identify most with, and will continue to identify with for the rest of their lives. let bi people be bi and don't pick on people for changing labels or for questioning.

3. being bi doesn't necessarily mean "liking both boys and girls"

being bi just means being attracted to two or more genders. this is a huge umbrella (one under which other sexualities such as pan and omni typically fall under) that doesn't necessarily mean just "liking both boys and girls". Some bi people aren't attracted to men at all, some aren't attracted to women at all, etc. Many bi people are attracted to non binary people, gender non conforming people, etc. the bi label means different things for different people. (personally, I find it hard to identify what I'm attracted to, but I'm more comfortable with bi than with pan or another similar label, so I stick with bi because that's what I feel fits me best)

4. you can be bi and date someone of the opposite gender.

I don't know why this is such a controversial thing, but a lot of people will pick on bi people who date people of the opposite gender in what is dubbed a "straight passing" relationship. A lot of people will then assume that those bi people are "faking" it. I see this a lot specifically with bi girls who date cis guys. If bi people were only allowed to date people of the same gender, what's the point of having the bi label??

5. you can be bi and celebrate pride

okay this one also seems like it should be obvious, but I saw a LOT of biphobia this past pride month. a lot of people saying that being bi is a phase so it doesn't count, or that if you're bi in a "straight-passing" relationship, you shouldn't bring your partner to pride events. biphobia is insanely dumb, especially coming from the lgbtq community itself. THE B STANDS FOR BI!!! WE ARE VALID!!!

conclusion.

I could make a lot of different points on this topic, but these are just a few based on what I have personally seen biphobia related to.

I'm bi. I like men, women, nonbinary people, and many other lesser-known gender identities. No, I've never dated anyone. But that doesn't make me any less bi. I'm allowed to, in the future, change my label, if I so feel like it. Right now, being bisexual is what I am most comfortable with, but it's possible that one day, through more life experience or relationships, I'll learn more about my preferences. But that doesn't make me any less bi now. And I'm allowed to celebrate pride and celebrate being bi! Blah

Happy bi awareness week to all the bi, bisexual, and biromantic people of the world! you are valid.

[schizowitchic]

re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

[sapphos-darlings]

i think i might be both lesbian and ftm (definitely homosexual, female, dysphoric, have considered transition for years and think it genuinely may help - its just putting the pieces together that gives me hesitation). im single, have dated a few other trans men when i identified differently, but ive never tried to date in the lesbian community. im trying to figure out how it would, i guess, work if i did transition? my current plan of "meet women & transmascs looking to date women or transmascs, tell them im a transmasc lesbian immediately, hope they understand what i mean and also mutual attraction is there" seems honest but possibly unlikely to work. am i missing something, or is it just a hard path im considering? i know one of the mods previously lived as a trans man so i was hoping you might have some experience or advice to share

Your identity, while it will sound wildly conflicting by the book, is actually not at all out there or anywhere near as rare as you'd believe. People are rarely black and white or fit into neat boxes, and transmasculine people have a long history with homosexual women. There have been, and continue to be today, butch lesbians who are taking testosterone or who have had mastectomies, and who go by male pronouns. Gender dysphoria and breaking the rules of our gendered society, in both gay and lesbian communities, has always been so prevalent that this cross-gender expression is rightfully part of our recognised cultural heritage, and one of the most rooted stereotypes associated with us. Even with the rise of transgender people's own, clearly separate rights movement, there is much more overlap in reality than these easy to identify labels would let you believe.

You, as an individual, do not have to be "lesbian" or "ftm" or "female" or "male" or "man" or "woman" in any particular way. It's up to you to express yourself, not your categories; while people instinctively assume that a label will cover all that you are, this is never the case for a person. We are so much more than these aspects of our identity.

And yes, the opposite is still true: there are gay men who date transgender women, and gay women who date transgender men. I follow plenty of trans channels to date as it's both relevant to my life now and to my history before and remains an interest, and some of these channels are for partners of trans people. One of the most common topics brought up is how to match one's identity label to the seemingly out-of-bounds relationship that is happening now, and seeing so many of them, and the unique situations of the people behind them, you come to realise that a label is not a natural fit for people, it's just something we make up to find community.

Further... beyond just exclusively gay people, we bisexuals are also here, we are plentiful, and we are absolutely wonderful. Not all of us, of course, are open to dating gender diverse people - but many others are, and we're typically quite relaxed when it comes to label complications simply because they don't challenge how we're expected to be dating, which is often a source of distress for both exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual people when confronted with a relationship that isn't quite what the handbook said it would be.

Lastly, yes, you are choosing the hard path. That's just how things are, universally, for transitioned and transitioning people, and for lesbians, and for anybody else who is not the norm in our society. There are fewer of us, we are less understood, and we have fewer people whose attraction will naturally match with us either because it isn't how they're wired or because they've never brushed up with the idea beyond a hypotethical concept. However, this doesn't mean you're doomed by any means. Just using myself as an example: I'm truly a mess when it comes to gender, both trans and not trans at the same time and which label applies to me more depends entirely on the subject and the alignment of the stars, and though it's taken its sweet time coming, I've now been in a relationship with a wonderful nonbinary/gender diverse partner for well over a year. While they may not always understand the fine details of how my identity works, that can't really be expected of anybody, even somebody using the same label as I hypotethically might. I don't understand how theirs does all of the time, either - I'd say more than they don't get mine, as my struggles are largely of the transsexual variety, more about the body than expression, and theirs are more of the gender variety, where their identity and inner perception of self reign superior to the matters of the meat. But we don't have to be fully up to date on any of that: what we have in common is much more relevant to our everyday life than the fine details of the things we don't, and at the end of the day, what we have is a gay relationship, which - while it comes with its own struggles and difficulties - still allows for an amazing variety of self-expression in gender and identity both, even within this simple overarching label and state of existing in the world.

Whatever you choose, you'll find people you match up with, and in the end, it's better to be happy with yourself than unhappy with somebody else.

[kate-les-bridge-stewart]

I've been thinking of osgate again (it seems they've become my best coping method as I navigate the incomprehensible nightmare that is American health insurance) so here's some random thoughts I have.

Osgood is a breaking bad superfan and has been since it came out

Kate never saw it until osgood and her started dating and osgood convinced her (with much difficulty) to just watch the first episode with her once.

It was all downhill (or uphill for osgood) from there

(I'll try to keep the breaking bad posting to a minimum and this post spoiler free 😅)

So I hc kate is bisexual with a preference for women but, she fell in love with gus fring the moment she saw him

Osgood had to listen to kate go on an unhinged rant about how hot Gustavo is

"His voice! His bloody accent Os! The subtle roll of his tongue! His eyes!"

And don't even get me started when she saw him in a t-shirt for the first time

She damn near had a stroke

As for how osgood feels about this, I think they're both perfectly fine with each other expressing attraction to other people

They don't have an open relationship per se, but they aren't exclusive either

In Kate's experience, strictly exclusive relationships where attraction is very limited is typically a breeding ground for jealousy and eventual boredom

So she and osgood agreed to keep things open and fresh but also have an open dialogue if either of them ever feels discontent

Of course they still love each other, they're madly in love

But they understand that sometimes they will need some space away from each other in order to keep their relationship fresh, alive, and strong

Also they both just love looking at hot people and talking about how hot they are lol

As for osgood, she's gender nonconforming (any pronouns) and identifies as sapphic/lesbian, though she occasionally has attraction to enbies

Now that I'm thinking of gender labels, time for me to go all mogai nerd on you all hehe

For the sake of fun I'm gonna go into even more detail about osgoods gender. I think she'd identify as nebularian and/or stellunarian

Both of those labels are under the galactian umbrella, a nonbinary gender alignment system for enby people who want to use label(s) that describe much more specified and complex gender identities/feelings

As for her sexuality, I think she'd use the labels of sapphic/lesbian but also trixic (enby attraction to fem people/femininity)

Now Kate's gender identity is much simpler lol, she just identifies as a woman (she/her) (though whether or not she's cis is up to you to decide ;) )

Now about their relationship, I think kate is kinda futch. She likes having a bit of masc/androgynous flare like wearing more masculine perfumes or sometimes suits

Being a woman in a position of power means she's had to work her ass off to get people (mainly gross rich old men) to respect her and recognize her authority, and one way she managed to do that was to dress just slightly more masculine, wearing shorter heels or just flats, wearing pants over skirts, shirts, ties, and jackets that resemble men's suits, stuff like that.

Of course she still prefers to present feminine in many ways as that makes her most comfortable, but she also likes the added touch of subtle masculinity

Osgoods gender expression is just a mystery and she likes keeping it that way

There are times where kate likes to lean more masculine/butch

One particular date they went to a club where that nights theme was knights, princesses and princes

Kate went straight for the role of a knight, dressing up all masc and pulling every chivalrous cliche in the book

She kissed osgoods hand, bowed to her, held open every door for her, the whole nine yards

Osgood was dressed as a sorta prince/princess and she was blushing the whole night

UGH now I need to draw them like that

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

1,4,30

yayayay an ask from my moot! hii thank u!!

1. how long have you known you liked girls?

well, my experience was never an 'something happened and i just *knew*' sort of thing. it was very slow, and it was harder bc i grew up with an extremely conservative christian family.

i didnt even know gay/trans people were a thing till i was like 11 or 12, bc i was homeschooled. but i started reading fanfiction at that age, beginning with straight couples, then going to mlm, and finally wlw. and it slowly seeped into my mind that my thoughts and feelings towards girls werent typical for straight girls.

i have always extremely disliked men, since i was very young, like 3 or so, and i never dreamed of my wedding. 'boy crazy' girls were unfathomable to me, i just could never understand what they saw in guys.

and ive always had extremely strong, almost worshipful 'crushes' towards other girls that i thought were just me reallyyyy wanting to be friends with them lmaooo. i was totally clueless until i realized being gay was a 'thing' that i could do. and even then, it wasnt fast. i evaluated all my current and previous relationships with girls, took SO MANY am i gay quizzes lmaooo, and even thought i was asexual for a while bc it was so hard for me to be okay with the idea of being sexually attracted to women (even tho i had accepted that i was definitely romantically attracted to them, purity culture is a hell of a thing to get over)

i also had a really big problem. see, i didnt only have to figure out my sexuality, i also had to fit it into my religion at that time and figure out what i believed. my church believes homosexuality is a sin, one u need to fight against, and if u dont ur going to hell. thats been a fact my whole life. its been ingrained in me since birth. so i had to try and root these ideas out of my mind, and that was really fucking hard. anyone who's ever had to 'unlearn' something knows just how difficult it is.

a part of accepting myself i had trouble with was also me struggling with the label 'lesbian'. i didnt like it at first, in fact i nearly hated it, even tho it was the only one i identified with besides the general 'gay' or 'queer'. i didnt like how it sounded, it felt almost dirty, sleazy even, with the prominent 'z' sound. it felt like it stuck out from all the other identities and just sounded 'bad'. i used to just say i was gay or queer instead of a lesbian. this was internalized homophobia, something i still struggle with from time to time. but luckily i was able to overcome it and now i proudly call myself a lesbian!

i also had a period of time where i thought i was bisexual bc it was hard to realize that i didnt have to be attracted to men, and i kind of thought it was 'okay' if i liked women as long as i still could like men too (spoiler alert: i couldnt).

but finally around the age of 16/17 i finally became entirely comfortable with myself and my label, and began coming out to those friends and family i knew were accepting.

4. do you have a crush at the moment?

not exactlyyyyy hehe

30. what experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)?

god literally all of them. ive never been kissed (or fucked 🫣) and i want to have an (irl) girlfriend so so badly. ive never been to pride and i really want too. i want to get married eventually and have a family with the woman i love, i want to create a home with them. i want to live my life and just be who i am without having to stay closeted anymore.

thank u so so so much for the ask! and sorry its so long im very wordy lmaoo

[moroserebis]

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º· ‧₊˚. ⸝⸝

melancholic sleepyhead, pls call me miquella

25, dysphoric female

gender critical, bisexual, radfem leaning/learning

opinions under the cut .. ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ‧₊˚. ⸝⸝

‎♡ ‧₊˚ This blog is my online space to explore and learn about radical feminism.

Original text posts will be labelled with #rebisposting.

I typically have a very hard time expressing and articulating myself.

I am also not an academic, and am trying my best to find and read feminist theory, but most of my opinions come from my lived experiences. Please keep that in mind if you plan on interacting with me. ‧₊˚.

‎♡ ‧₊˚ I believe feminism exists solely to liberate women from patriarchy.

As someone who’s lived as a medically transitioned transsexual for almost ten years, I whole heartedly sympathize with trans people and with advocate for their rights, it is not the responsibility of feminism to acquire those rights.

Sex based oppression is real, and sex and gender cannot exist separately. While it could be argued that misogyny and transmisogyny overlap in some ways, they are two different forms of oppression.

To continue, it is not the responsibility of feminism or feminists to liberate anyone other than women. There are other socio political movements to liberate men who are not cishet and white, I refuse to let men center themselves in the subject of female oppression. ‧₊˚.

‎♡ ‧₊˚ As mentioned, I have lived about a third of my life as a visible transsexual. Please, if you have an issue with my opinions on gender or transition medicine, please do not tell me to “talk to a trans person.” I am the trans person, there is no detransitioning for me, I will always be physically transsexual.

Male and Female are terms I have always, and will continue to use to refer to the sexes. I believe gender cannot exist without the physical body, and there is no shame or problem in acknowledging how your sex shapes your life. ‧₊˚.

‎♡ ‧₊˚ If you are someone who has an issue with political lesbianism, please do not interact with me. I could never be that hard pressed to alienate women and females who could otherwise be radical feminists.

I do not believe political lesbians are the same thing as lesbians, but I do believe women centering their relationships with women, and de-centering men in their lives is a good thing. ‧₊˚.

‎♡ ‧₊˚ I do not center men in my rhetoric. I am not a liberal feminist. Feminism isn’t for everyone. I also think the way most libfems speak from a very American/Western mindset discredits them.

Are you going to tell women in the global south that it’s wrong to hate the men of color in power who are oppressing them? Feminism cannot be a Western centric movement.

Misandry is not real, and I don’t feel comfortable with the way libfems blame woman for other forms of oppression.

All men oppress all women, and intersectionality doesn’t exist for you to imply that women oppress men. ‧₊˚.

𝜗𝜚˚⋆ I’ll probably be adding more and changing this post as I grow as a feminist, but if you read this tysm for your time ‧₊˚. ⸝⸝

[uncloseted]

How can I start exploring my sexuality once I get out of a relationship with a man (I’m a woman btw)

I’ve always identified as bisexual and I look straight for the most part (I dress pretty feminine and nothing about me really screams gay). However, lately I’ve had suspicions that maybe I don’t really like men, but I want to gain some experience with women later once my boyfriend and I break up (that’s a whole other thing. we’re only together rn bc we’re in a lease). Anyway, how can I start looking / acting more gay? Where do I find other gay girls?? I’ve never even done anything to a girl sexually (they’ve done things to me but yeah). Please help

I think the best thing you can do is start spending time in queer spaces, either online or in person. How you do this will depend a bit on how old you are and where in the world you're located. If you have an LGBT+ center near you, that could be a good place to start. A lot of towns and cities have LGBT+ meetup groups or queer events that are open to everyone. A lot of campuses, both high school and college/university, will have LGBT+ organizations of some sort, so if you're in school, that's a great way to meet people. If the nearest city to you has a Pride parade, that's a great way to find out which organizations are active in your area and to meet some cool people. If your town/city has a regular midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show or Hedwig and the Angry Inch, that's typically a great place to meet other queer people. You could get involved with LGBT+ volunteer organizations or outreach groups. If you happen to live near a lesbian bar (and are of legal drinking age), that's a perfect way to meet queer women, but they're few and far between these days. Basically, the more queer people you know, the more friendships you'll build organically, and the more likely it is that you'll find someone you might be interested in spending time with romantically or sexually. Having queer friends also makes it more likely that someone will introduce you to a person they think you'll like.

I wouldn't worry too much about "looking gay" or "acting gay". I know it can be tempting to try and signal to other people that you fit into their community, but in my view, coming out is a process of self-acceptance. And so I think that if you're trying to change yourself to seem gayer, that's kind of counterproductive to the goal of coming out, which is to live as authentically as you can. That's not to say that you shouldn't, like, buy a pair of Doc Martens or shave your head, but more just to say that your queerness is valid regardless of how you present yourself, and you don't need to fit yourself into a box of what a lesbian "looks like" or "acts like" in order to be accepted. When you're in community with people who share your same interests and experiences, they'll accept you as yourself, no changes needed.

If you are interested in jumping into dating right away, dating apps are probably the way to go. There's an app called Her that's specifically focused on WLW relationships, and I know some people who have had luck on Bumble and Hinge as well. There are some good guides to dating as a newly-out lesbian here, here, and here that I would check out. I think with apps, the most important thing is to be open and honest about where you are in your journey and what you're looking for. I think too often, people try to be as widely palatable as possible on dating apps, and then they end up being disappointed when what they want doesn't align with what the other person wants. If you're specific, you'll find someone who's on the same page as you, and it's less likely that you'll have a bad experience.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Admin my dear I hope you’re doing well, I just need an opinion of yours i have no one else to talk to about this better than you. I’ve been reading your blog a long time now and I really love the blog vibe not just because it’s about Evan, but also because we can here share whatever we want without judgements. Well I’ve seen sometime ago someone asked you how you come to a conclusion about you sexuality as a Lesbian, and you said it was first when you realized that you’ve loved your best friend in a different kind of way, so I kinda have the same situation. Typically I don’t know if i am bisexual but not a lesbian, maybe a bi, and I think I have something towards my best friend, I don’t know if it’s just mixed feelings or phase. Tried to figure it out but I don’t know what is it. She is so beautiful and kind and treating me so with love and kindness like I have never been loved before, especially my last relationship with my ex was a terrible experience and thought myself I’m hard to be loved or smthn is wrong with me but no. The way she treats me is different just like how I am supposed to be treated. When we have sleepovers I feel so much affection and physical attraction towards her I don’t know if she shares the same feelings but she’s hiding them. I tried to dig into this with her but she denied being bisexual or being attracted to women but I understand. Now I am lost if it’s just a phase or what because I doubt she knows smthn that I have some feeling for her but indirectly asked. Is it fear of society reaction or just denial? Confused

hello anon, i'm sorry to hear you're having a struggle with this. i appreciate you opening up and sharing your confusion.. honestly speaking, just know that it is normal. sexuality can be a very fluid and confusing thing for many of us. sometimes, people go their whole lives believing they are one thing, only to meet someone and find out they are not as rigid as they believed. for me, it was more than that; i was in denial about the reasons why i didn't emotionally or sexually connect with men. finally feeling love and attraction, is how i knew i was a lesbian. that doesn't mean that your experience will be the same. you may find that the feelings you have now aren't replicated for another woman; only time will tell. i think the best thing you can do now is maintain an open mind and be open to the possibility of loving anyone who makes you feel this way, who treats you kind and with affection. i don't think we need to worry and stress ourselves over labels and defining our sexuality. when it becomes a burden, you should do your best to let that go and instead, when you must, deal with any of the internal/external factors.. like, how do you deal with others who may not accept if you fall in love with a woman, how do you free yourself from feeling like you NEED to explain and define yourself for OTHERS.. and just live and exist in a way that feels right for you. as for your friend, it's hard to know because maybe she herself is fearful or confused - maybe over time, more will be revealed, but you can't force it.

[prettybillycore]

Stranger Things LBGTQ+ Headcanons

Eddie Munson

Sexuality: Omniromantic, Grayasexual. He would like the term omniro because omni people typically have a large, defined preference. I think his preference would be man/masculine aligned people. He would shorthand and say gay/mlm if he wasn't in a place where he felt like having a long conversation about sexuality. I could also see him as polyamorous, though he would like a smaller polycule.

Gender Identity: Masculine Aligned, Non-Binary

Pronouns: He/Him, He/They, They/Them

Billy Hargrove

Sexuality: Queer. He would explain himself as Gay/Bi/Pan and I don't feel like he would be attached to any particular label. He really likes being in mlm relationships and polycules. Definitely polyamorous.

Gender Identity: Genderfluid, Non-Binary

Pronouns: He/They, He/They/She

***Note: I have been seeing posts about Trans Girl!Billy and I also absolutely love that headcanon. Any creators who work within that headcanon, I thank you for your content.

Steve Harrington

Sexuality: Bisexual. You cannot convince me that he does not experience attraction to men. I think he tends to lean toward women, but he definitely likes men. It took him a while to figure it out and come to terms with it, but Billy was definitely his gay awakening. He's very thankful for that. He would totally be cool with a poly relationship, it would just take him time to adjust to the idea if he had never considered it before.

Gender Identity: Cis Man

Pronouns: He/Him

Robin Buckley

Sexuality: Lesbian (is also lesbian in canon; confirmed). I could also see her using the terms Neptunic and Demisexual.

Gender Identity: Demi-girl, Non-Binary

Pronouns: She/They or They/Them

Nancy Wheeler

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender Identity: Cis Woman

Pronouns: She/Her

Jonathan Byers

Sexuality: Hetero, LGBTQ Ally

Gender Identity: Cis Man

Pronouns: He/Him

Author's Note:

Hello, Y'all!

the supernatural x stranger things fic is coming along nicely! I'm not going to be finished with the first part tonight because I'm not feeling well enough to write that much, so I thought I would give you some wholesome lgbtq stranger things headcanons!

disclaimer: these are my thoughts as an lgbt person about the characters' sexualities/gender identities. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments, but do not be rude please! we are allowed to have differences of opinion. Tho, if anyone tries to tell me that robin is into men I will delete your comments. thank youuuu <3

[baeddel]

to give a serious answer about my sexuality [warning: extremely graphic]

until last year i had ‘camab lesbian’ in my profile. i took it out and didn’t replace it with anything.

as a physiological subject my relationship to physiological sex is unusual. i learned very early on that penetrating is intolerable to me, and likewise irrumating. my digust is physical; it makes me feel like puking. but i also don’t enjoy penetration; i find it painful. even if these biological limits were surmountable i have no desire whatsoever for these acts. so i do not, in a traditional sense, either top or bottom. i like performing oral, but only for the esteem associated with satisfying one’s partner. i do not desire it; it doesn’t arouse me. the only resources my desire recognizes are the hands, the thighs, the feet and the chest (with or without breasts).

the effect of this is that, as far as my desire is concerned, all bodies are identical. this operation is doubled on the psychological level: i have only one fetish, and when i fantasize i only fantasize about it. this fetish is ‘tease & denial’, and all of its ruses: non-nudity, chastity, ruined orgasms, and so on. you are likely very familiar with it. in the fantasy i can be either the tormented or the tormentor. the language of denial is an asexual language. it doesn’t work like heterosexual sex, nor does it work like gay male sex, nor does it work like lesbian sex. it has its own expressive logic which is ignorant of the particulars of its expressor. the tormentor brings their tormented close to satisfaction but ultimately witholds it. you can confirm this for yourself by looking up pornography of this type; the gay, lesbian and het varieties all share an identical formula. so all partners are again identical as far as my desire is concerned.

when i was a teenager i considered myself a boy and i considered myself bisexual. my first partner was a boy. i slept with a lot of boys and with a lot of girls. back then i also dressed as a girl 100% of the time and i called myself a cross-dresser. my unique sexuality was an advantage with respect to teenage girls; they were typically interested in sexuality but they were intimidated by the idea of penetration. teenage girls often feel they will do the wrong thing and end up obliged to accept penetration; their parents frighten them with this idea and the boys they date play into it to extract sex from them. so being told immediately that i don’t do penetration was often a big relief and they were excited to explore sexuality with me. further, tormenting someone with denial doesn’t involve getting naked or even necessarily touching them, so they could experiment with me at very low cost. with boys who considered themselves gay or bi it was frustrating because they had an idea about gay sexuality in their head and i couldn’t help them with it. with boys who considered themselves straight it was an advantage again because they could convince themselves they were merely obliging me; i never asked they reciprocate my desire. when i was a bit older it became a disadvantage with girls. now that they were experienced they had an idea about het sexuality in their head and i couldn’t help them with it.

when i came on tumblr i met a wonderful cis girl who introduced me to the idea that i could be a girl myself. i gradually opened up to the idea. because of the way tumblr is, my sexuality became an important question again. it wasn’t immediately clear that i was still or was ever bisexual. i met several trans lesbians who previously identified as gay or bi men who realized they were lesbians after realizing they were women. something about the bond between women involved in lesbian relationships was automatically fulfilling. for a while i called myself a “bi-lesbian” and also “bigender.” eventually i settled on calling myself a lesbian and a woman. at the time i believed that i ‘grew out of it’ and had found out who i really was.

calling myself a woman came shortly after detransitioning in real life. i was getting beat up all the time, i was harassed any time i was in public, leaving the house was getting very difficult to do. a few years after i had last worn women’s clothes i went to a party and i brought a dress and some makeup with me. i went into the bathroom and changed. i spent the day like that and i realized that i hated it. what was going on? i tried it a few more times and always hated it. even though it had previously been so important to me. the way i explained this to myself was that previously i had susbtituted a feminine presentation for an inner sense of my own womanhood which i didn’t know i could feel. now that i had embraced that inner sense the presentation was no longer satisfying and i was free to be a gender non-conforming woman. i found wearing menswear as a woman more fulfilling and called myself butch.

cis lesbians on here going on and on about bar culture kind of killed the fun in that for me. being butch felt very constraining. there were things i couldnt do and wasn’t supposed to want to do. i don’t even know that i wanted to do them, but i can’t tolerate something that is going to hold me back in any circumstance. i realize that this is probably a side effect of being isolated from an irl gay community and excessively dependent on tumblr for social interaction, but that’s the predicament i’m in. so i stopped calling myself butch.

anyway, the whole time i’m a lesbian there is something that troubles me which is this: i’m very attracted to male crossdressers. this gives me a LOT of trouble initially, but i eventually rationalize it by saying that aesthetically crossdressers are identical to trans women and that’s why i’m attracted to them, but surely if i got to know them and recognized what made them men i wouldn’t still be attracted to them. then, femboys happened!! and that really turned everything on its head for me. because these were boys i was really attracted to but for many of them, their being boys, and being feminine boys in a way that wasn’t reducible to transfemininity, was important to them. i felt like being so attracted to them and still calling myself a lesbian was heinous, especially after i found some cafab femboys who i was attracted to, where calling myself a lesbian would amount to degendering them.

well, i got a bit taken with the idea and i joined a bunch of femboy hookup servers and spent way too much money on boys with onlyfans and i satisfied myself that it wasn’t just a passing curiosity. that’s when i took ‘lesbian’ out of my bio. it’s just like Deleuze said: “no gay can ever definitively say ‘I'm gay.’ ... [they would] have to investigate and experiment with so many things...” i ran a few experiments of my own, and they came up inconclusive as usual. but this time i won’t be tricked; you won’t get me to call myself anything, because you’ll just invent a new kind of boy and make me want to fuck it. well, fool me once, shame on you...

something else happened that had a big impact on how i view my own sexuality, which is that i acquired a girl who is very submissive and has very specific sexual desires which don’t align with my sexual appetite as i described it earlier. however, i find that relationship enormously satisfying. however, it’s not something that i fantasize about when i’m not with her. that’s when i realized that i could acquire new desires and satisfy them, and that what i had mistaken for my own true and enduring sexuality was really the desires i feel within a particular desiring-situation. that situation is the particular private, introspective enviornment of onanism and illicit hookups. but in a desiring-situation co-constructed with a lover there is no reason my desire couldn’t be organized differently. and i realized that my other relationships are not quite the same as the fantasy obsession i described earlier, and they are likewise enormously satisfying to me. it’s only that their differences was less stark and more familiar to me, so i didn’t notice it as suddenly as i did with her. anyway, my realization was that i had the capacity to explore new zones of bodily intensities, find spaces to unravel my body’s organization, and to become a different kind of animal. and this was a beautiful, dizzying realization.