#there are a few other little things I have planned but in the end Feb was insanely busy for me so they will come LATER !!!

[myokk]

Siobhan and Sebastian sleeping in the Room of Requirement 🫶

for my sweet secret valentine @sloanesallow ♥️♥️♥️

If you haven’t read her fic yet or any of her writing what are you doing🤨 she is SO talented, Sloane is SO sweet, and her Sebastian is exasperating and charming♥️♥️ honestly I always consider you a staple of this fandom AND you were one of my first followers when I started posting here🥰🥰 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU SHARE WITH US🫶🫶🫶

[cheolaholic]

SNEAK PEEK 👀 RoL (14)

a/n; small little peek of the upcoming chapter !! read it now on my patreon, or you can wait til 8th Feb 2025 KST for it to be released here & ao3 ~ ヾ(•ω•`)o

“Hey…” Wonwoo’s soft voice greets you as he takes a seat next to you in the library, “Where’ve you been? Gyu and Vernon were worried sick because we hadn’t seen you around much..”

He doesn’t miss the way your body tense, your fingers pausing mid-type on the assignment you were typing. Slowly, you glance up at him, your expression a hint of exhaustion and something else – something quieter, like the weight of thoughts you hadn’t voiced.

“Hey…” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. It’s not cold, but it’s distant; like you’ve put up a wall without even realising it. “I’ve been… around…”

The streamer studies you for a moment, his gaze gentle but you knew he could see straight through the walls you’ve unintentionally built up. “You’ve been… distant.” He wasn’t accusing you. He said it matter-of-factly, but his tone carried concern.

Concern for you.

You blink at him, your fingers fidgeting above your keyboard. “I’m… I’m fine,” you say, though the words lack conviction. “Just… trying to finish this.” You gesture vaguely at the laptop screen, but even you can hear the tremble in your voice.

Wonwoo, of course, doesn’t buy it – he’s a psychology student, there’s no way you can get away with lying to him. He tilts his head to the side, studying you quietly for a moment before asking in a soft voice, “This is about Seungcheol, isn’t it?”

You freeze. Your fingers hover above the keyboard as though they’re caught in place, your heart skipping a beat at his question; and you instinctively turn back to your laptop to avoid his gaze. When you don’t answer, Wonwoo doesn't push for an answer. Instead, he leans back in his seat with his hands resting on the arm rest of the chairs. “I’m not licensed to be a therapist yet, but I can offer an ear and advice if you need it.”

“I can tell it’s eating up Cheol, too. He’s been… more irritable lately. Had to get him a new punching bag to train because he punched a hole through the old one.” 

Your head snaps back to look at him, eyes blown wide.

“He… He what?”

Wonwoo chuckles, a hint of disbelief in his expression. “Yeah, it surprised us too. He’s always been intense in his training, but this was… different.”

You blink at him, still trying to process what you just heard. “He punched a hole through it? Like… completely?”

Wonwoo nods, “Completely. Gyu wouldn’t stop teasing him about it until he gave him one of those looks.”

“I thought I was the only one who…” Your words falter and Wonwoo places a hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “You’re not the only one hurting, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. But maybe it’s time to stop shutting each other out.”

Your lips press into a thin line, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill. “I-I’m not sure if he’ll even face me… Even under the same roof he’s managed to dodge me…”

“Doesn’t he drive you both to uni?”

Your cheeks reddened in embarrassment as you admit to calling an Uber to university for the past few weeks since the encounter at the library. “Sometimes I call Vernon, but I feel like that’s the same as placing a hit on him for Cheol…”

Wonwoo chuckles, “Well, I have a plan if you’re up for it. You don’t have to agree or go through with it, but the longer you two stay like this, the larger that rift will grow and the harder it’ll be to fix things.”

“What do you have in mind?”

A mischievous smile tugs at his lips, “He has a match tonight. His opponent for the night is this guy called BM.”

“Um… I don’t see how…?”

“BM is just as… talented? Precise? Point is, BM is just as skillful as Cheol. All their matches typically end in a tie.”

You’re more confused the more Wonwoo speaks and he eventually gets to his point, “He’d be too tired after his match to avoid you. He’d probably just spill the beans or at least be less guarded. Take that chance to worm into his heart to get him to talk.”

[gukksweets7]

Mine?

JJK ONESHOT

Pairing: bf jk/ gf reader

Wc: 2.9k+

Warning: just that's it's a mix of angst (slight) and fluff.

Summary: when you think your life with Jungkook is going to collapse but certainly it doesn't cause Jungkook has other plans.

A/n: with this as the last post for a while as my exams are super close, I will post after my exams which will end by the end of Feb. And yeah, dropping this poll here, cause I have a real less number of followers ain't sure if someone will even vote.

--------------------------------------------------

You are not sure what to do about this. Is Jungkook going to leave you?.... For forever?

A low sob escapes your throat no matter how hard you try to not make any sound. Your thoughts keep messing up with your heart. It was yesterday that you completely lost it. How could he!? How could he betray you this way?

He said he will love you forever but he lied. Tragic, you have spent 4 years with that person. You have been in a living relationship with him for the past 2 years.

You trusted him so much. With your everything. His presence was enough to calm your anxiety down. His one touch was enough to take you to heaven. Jungkook was your sweetheart. Your first and last love. At Least that's what you thought.

Your and his relationship which started from the last year of college has been something your friends always envied. Your relationship with Jungkook has been one of your biggest flexes.

With him you were complete.

These past few days he hasn't been himself with you. You have noticed how he will leave the room to attend calls. It has never been that way between you and him. Attending calls is a mere thing. He could never sacrifice a moment of being cuddled to you to attend some calls. Leaving you alone on the bed or the couch with your thoughts of whose call it could be that he can't attend in the room, in front of you. The minimum friend calls he receives are not from those who you are not known to. And of course it can't be a business call that he can't take in front of you.

It was all okay whenever he did that but things started getting more complex with time. This ain't the Jungkook you have known. Jungkook is much more open. Hell! You know him like the back of your hand.

You are not insecure. You are confident about your and his relationship which is why these things didn't affect you at all but then one day when you were scrolling through his phone, a call arrived with the name…. baby

But, the phone was soon snatched from your hand by Jungkook who was sitting right beside you on the couch.

‘ She is a colleague ‘ that's all that he said before leaving the drawing room to attend the call but that's where your trust broke a little. Who saves their colleague’s name as baby? Strange.

You trusted Jungkook and never said anything back on it. But yesterday.. yesterday what you heard isn't something you are going to turn a blind eye to.

You overheard Jungkook on a call yesterday.

“ Jungkook, it's really urgent we have to meet tomorrow in the evening” a high pitched female voice echoed from the other side of the call.

“ Why? What happened baby? Is everything alright?” You heard Jungkook's panic filled voice from behind the door, apparently the door to your bedroom was open when you came. You couldn't help but to listen to his conversation.

This was enough! But still your heart wasn't able to believe what you heard. There must be something you are missing. Jungkook can't do this to you. No, he can't.

You silently leave the bedroom door and move downstairs thinking of something to stop Jungkook tomorrow.

—-----

“ Jungkook ” you call as soon as you see he received a call and is moving out of the house.

“ I had something important to talk to you about, come inside kook” you call him inside while holding his one hand, hoping he is going to come inside.

“ No I have something importa—” he says while proceeding to wear his shoes.

“ No kook, right now I have to– to talk about tomorrow, you know what tomorrow is right?” You ask hopefully looking at his bambi eyes, the same eyes that make you fall deeper in love with him.

“ Y/n sorry, it's from the office… and urgent” he adds, while leaving you alone at the door to leave the house.

He heaves out a sigh of relief as he successfully makes it out of the house but behind those doors he has left his girlfriend.. completely broken.

It can't be true. He.. he lied. To whom? To you. Who knows even his littlest secrets. How could he? So it's really that's what is happening— he is two timing.

You stumble back to the couch, sliding down the couch as you quietly sit on the door, your eyes fixed on the door through which Jungkook left, waiting he would come anytime and tell you that he really was going for some office work and not that someone called him yesterday and has asked him to meet in the evening, urgently.

You bring your knees closer to your chest as you start sobbing in your hands. How could something be more important than you, his girlfriend. And why would he lie about all this to you?

You keep thinking as the clock now goes past 11 pm, Jungkook ain't home yet. You finally decide that you need to break this off. He no longer will have to do two timing. You will leave him and make things easier for him. If… he is happy that way let that be.

You quickly open your wardrobe and take the clothes that your eyes first fall upon. You also pack your cards in your suitcase.

That's when the door of your bedroom opens, snapping you out of your thoughts and Jungkook comes in with a beautiful paper bag in his hand. He gives you the slightest smile and calls, “ what's up, baby?”

The word baby erects fire inside of you. You grit your teeth and say, “ How long are you going to lie?”

“ Hmm? Lie about what, baby?” He asks looking towards you, that's when you snap.

“ Don't. Don't call me that.” You say gulping back the tears.

“ That's what I have always called you” he firmly states not liking the way you are denying him of his rights. You stand in front of him then take your suitcase and say, “ you shouldn't have done this to me jungkook”

You quickly get out of your bedroom as more sobs escape from you, no you don't want to look weak, not right now at least.

Just when you are near the main gate of your apartment, a firm grip replaces your hand on your suitcase. Jungkook pulls your hands from over the suitcase and is quick to carry you in his arms. The action is so sudden that you can only react with gasp before he is placing you on the sofa and himself is on his one knee in front of you.

“ Talk it out. I want to hear you” he says, his voice firm, his eyes never leaving yours.

“ There's nothing to talk about. There's nothing left. We… we are over” you say as more tears fall from your eyes.

“ You think I'll let you go, just like that. Without any reason, without any explanation?”

“ Why are you acting so innocent, hmm? You.. you are the one two timing and you talk as if… I matter. I can't live with you even after knowing everything.” Jungkook raises his eyebrows not understanding what he heard.

“ So, I have decided that I'll… I'll leave so you can be happy with whoever you love.. now” oh how childish you sound.

“ And who do I love?” So he's gotta ask this question to you. Why is he making this harder for you? First he is kneeling in front of you like that, his hands wrapped around your hips and then that look he is passing you.

Jungkook has been your sweetest boyfriend. Always willing to understand you and know you for who you are. These four years of your life have been your best year. But you know, you'll find someone better again. It's just that the pain that you are facing now of the heartbreak makes you want to run back into his arms and let him help you sleep like he always does when you face trouble sleeping.

But you won't , he no more belongs to you. His heart belongs to someone else.

“ You tell me, who do you love?” You reverse back his question to himself.

“ You.” His one word answer snaps your head towards him.

“ I…no.. you are lying” you sniff and continue, you fondly grab onto his cheeks “ all these while Jungkook, I have blindly trusted you.. I thought we were meant to be always together, do you even know what tomorrow is? No.”

You attach your head to his which he willingly does as if he is in more need to do that “ kook.. it's so hard. You did me wrong but remember if she can help you cheat on me then she will.. cheat on you too” you straighten your posture, your eyes falling on the ring he bought you. The ring itself holds so much importance to you.

You try to pull out the ring, somewhere not willing to open it. Jungkook just sits there eyeing you while you fail to open the ring, “ may I help?” Your head snaps towards him at his question. More tears fall down your eyes. And how can you not return him his ring, it's his, to whoever's hand it …goes.

So you slowly give him your hand. Jungkook is quick with his movements in taking your ring off your finger. Your other hand itches to touch his hair, your eyes not leaving his face while he stays focused on taking out that ring.

Jungkook takes out the ring and keeps it on the table.

So, this is the end.

You stand up not willing to look at him anymore, after all this still somewhere deep down you feel that he will come to you and tell you this was all a lie, a bad nightmare and take you in his arms like he always does. But after all this, you have no reason.

“ Uhh, so i.. I am going. Uh… I'll come to take my stuff” you say standing up and moving to the main gate while dragging your suitcase with you

“ You told me what you had to say, now may I?” He says, his presence just behind you.

“ There's nothing to say anymore, Jungkook. We can't fix anything” you say as you look at the door.

“ Come” he says, pulling you again to the same couch, now sitting on it and then pulling you on his lap. You feel too broken to resist, so you let him handle you.

“ There's no one in my life and I have no idea what and about whom you are talking. The only girl I have laid my eyes on, the only girl I have loved is you, You Y/n” he says.

“ Then, were you talking to an AI by calling them a baby?” You sarcastically smile.

“Baby? Ohh baby, she is…” he doesn't know how he will answer your question.

“ Done? Now leave me” you say, even when you know you can get up cause he ain't holding you so tight that you won't be able to do so.

“ I guess I wasn't being too sly” he says, his grip getting tighter on your hip when you start removing his hands in front of your body.

“ Baby is the name of the girl who is helping me plan your bday, which I very well know is tomorrow” he states with a lip tight smile.

“ Huh?” That's all you manage to say before he is pulling you closer to him. His front is attached to yours now.

“ Baby, why would I not remember your birthday? And now if baby's mom dad so thoughtfully gave her the name baby, I can't be calling her anything else. Can I?” he says again.

“ Wait, let me just call her, cause I can't let my girl be tense?” He is quick to call, the name saved as baby.

“ Hello” the same female voice which you heard came.

“ Ah, baby, is everything ready for tomorrow?” he asks his eyes looking at yours directly.

“ Yes, Mr. Jeon everything is well done. Your girlfriend is going to love it” the same girl's voice comes.

“ I hope so” that's what he says before cutting the call. Now his whole attention towards you while you are left sitting on his lap.

So, you made a big mess. Haha

You both are quiet. Not a single word leaves your mouth. You feel too disappointed within yourself for what you did.

“Turn around” he commands which no doubt you quietly listen to by turning your head towards him.

“I always tell you to talk things out with me, why would you not talk it out to me when you felt uncomfortable from something” he says in his softest voice.

“ I thought, you have lost interest in me in these four years. I didn't want to pressurize you” you say your head hanging low.

“ Do you not trust me, y/n?” He says, your name leaving his mouth feels you with a bitter taste on your own.

Your head quickly turns towards him, you face him now cupping his face in your soft hands, “ I do kookie. I trust you so much, more than me. I am so sorry that I made you feel this way. I am so stupid. Believe me koo, somewhere I knew you wouldn't break my trust. Ever.” You say fondly looking at him.

“ I promise, any day if these thoughts come to my mind, I would then and there talk it out to you” you say.

“ I love you” he says, placing a quick peck on your lips.

You quietly lie your head on his chest, you feel his body relaxes as he holds you closer. You yourself are relaxing in his arms. This was so needed by both of you.

“ But kook”

“ Hmm”

“ Why would you open the ring?”

Silence

“We’ll talk about that tomorrow” he says with his eyes closed. You don't further inquire thinking that he is sleepy.

“ Uhh.. it's late ” you then look at the clock, it reads 12:02 am.

“Let's go to our room” he says standing up with you in his arms. You are so effortlessly easy for him to carry.

He makes you lie on the bed first then himself joins you. His hand gets inside the back of your top, finding your bra hook he snaps it open. Later, take out your bra too.

It's a rule in your relationship, that you don't sleep with your bra on cause it gives Jungkook less access to your boobs and also that it will ruin your boobs tissues.

“ Happy b'day, baby” Jungkook says, nuzzling his head in the crock of your neck.

“ Thank you kook” you say finally welcoming his warm body in your embrace. Your hands play with his disheveled hair. Later, you too end up falling asleep beside him, with him snoring in your arms.

—-----------------------

Jungkook has left no chance to make the day special. You don't have many friends to throw a big party (not like you are a fan of big parties).

It's evening now, you have already cut your bday cake, actually two cakes. Jungkook is well aware of your liking for cakes so he leaves no chance in feeding you cakes on your birthday.

Currently, you are sitting on the couch, wearing your most homeless clothes. A plate in your hand with a big piece of the black forest cake Jungkook has gotten you. Your other hand which holds the spoon cuts a piece of the cake as you busy yourself with eating the cake while watching one of the pending dramas.

The door to your apartment opens as Jungkook welcomes himself in the house. You look towards him, giving him a smile. He takes a seat beside you when you forward him a spoonful of the cake.

Jungkook forwards a bag towards you, with raised eyebrows as you look towards him.

“Go get dressed” that's what he said and here you are now getting out of your apartment to go wherever he takes you.

Jungkook's eyes scan you shamelessly as the black coloured dress fits perfectly on your body.

“ Okay, now stop” you say now standing in front of him with a shy smile on your lips.

“ No..I mean- you're right” he says as he too smiles, opening the door of the car for you.

The car comes to a stop in front of the restaurant, Jungkook is quick to guide you to your room on the 17th floor. Seems like he has quite planned it all.

The door to the private room opens as a gasp leaves your mouth. The room is very big and decorated with roses all around. It has an open balcony which gives the view of the whole city. There is a small dinner table set. Smell of lavender comes from the candles.

You take more steps forward taking a note of everything around you. You like everything around you.

“Y/n” you turn around hearing his voice.

There he is, kneeling in front of you. A small box in his hand.

Is he doing the same thing that you are thinking?

“ Will you… kim y/n marry me?”

Your mouth hangs open. This was the most unexpected thing happening. You can't believe this is actually happening. Your boyfriend is proposing to you!

And the night goes wild.

—---------------------------------------

[imaginespazzi]

I've been letting your story marinate for a few days. Perfection as always.

I'm very interested in this timeline because Paige getting married after a year dating and Azzi being very pregnant got my braincells firing. And I wonder if one is an (in)direct result of the other. Sorry this is long but I had to write it out.

Feb 2033 - Present day, Stephie is 5. Paige and Azzi not really spoken in 8 years.

2030 - P and Olivia divorce.

September 2029 - Stephie about 18 months. Paige married. Found it interesting that Paige wears an engagement ring...

Jan/Feb 2028 - Stephie born.

December 2027 - Paige's wedding, very Azzi pregnant (the timeline is timelining for me around this). Paige and Olivia been dating 'barely a year.'

Early 2027ish - Azzi flies to Dallas sees Paige and Olivia together, leaves.

Late 2026 - P and Olivia start dating. Paige hid the relationship for the first few months.

May 2024 - End of school year, Paige going into her final season in 2024-2025, appears Azzi is planning on staying until 2026.

September 2017 - Baby Pazzi being adorkable

Other thoughts as I re-read hunting for clues.

I feel like when Azzi's not around and Stephie is over Katie and Tim talked about Paige, she seemed to know a lot about her beyond just seeing her play a handful of times.

The fracturing seemed to happen while still at UConn judging by comments by Jana/Ice. And it was clearly pretty bad from the way the UConn girlies still react to it.

As a side note I kinda don't blame Azzi for feeling so off kilter, Paige parachutes back into her life after barely speaking in a decade, and slides back into how she's so pretty and all this like she didn't have a whole ass WIFE in between. I'd also feel whiplash from it tbh.

Paige doing all those little things that aren't her for the wedding she so wants to love Olivia as much as Azzi but can't. Feels like a massive red flag to be thinking about the girl you wish you could have married on your wedding day.

8 years and it seems like Paige has no idea why Azzi said no?

Azzi feels so guilty but part of me thinks she had a reason that made sense at the time that Paige couldn't/wouldn't try to understand.

I have a partial theory but will save it so as not to put out any potential spoilers (not saying I'm super confident lol).

OMG babes you're pretty much spot on with your timelines. Here's my timeline (literally written on a sticky note on my laptop) for cross-reference (spoilers crossed out obvi)

Yes absolutely, Katie and Tim have definitely spoken about Paige in front of Stephie and especially since Stephie would be with them at Wings vs Valkyries games, they'd make sure she knew

Whiplash + residual guilt, like Azzi's definitely got some valid concerns at the moment

You know how Azzi has warning bells? Paige reeeeeally needs some of those or maybe she does have them, but when they were ringing like crazy on her wedding day, she did an incredible job of ignoring them

Paige and Azzi have had their moments over the course of 8 years but they've definitely never addressed anything they should...

OMG please send me your theory and add like a clue/emoji or something so I can confirm if you're close or not without posting it cause I really wanna hear it.

[giggly-squiggily]

Hey everybody! I was gonna wait until later this week to post this but since it’s on my mind might as well make an announcement!

Spring 2024 Blog Plans

As of January this upcoming year, I’ll be in class again! *celebrates in college student* Naturally this means once again the first few months of the year are gonna look a little funny as I adjust to IRL changes and whatnot. Here’s what I’ve got planned so far:

January: Fics will come out as per usual. I’m finishing up the last of the month over this upcoming weekend and scheduling out accordingly.

February: Candy Hearts Event! I absolutely love doing this event with you guys- it’s so fun to see what pairings and sentence starters you send in! I’ll be opening the event for prompts the last week of January to Valentine’s Day! (Jan 28th-Feb 14), so look forward to that! I’ll make a post to let you all know when they’re officially open!

March- June: Feeling out the vibes. As of right now, I’m not entirely sure what the remaining months are gonna look like from March to the end of the semester. I don’t know if I’m gonna have free time to write- let alone the brain stamina- or if I’m gonna be so busy with class and other life things I just wont have time. We’ll see where we are when we get there.

Best case scenario I can squeeze out a fic or two a week, worst case scenario I go on a temporary vacation from writing until I’m done with class!

So yeah! That’s what we got in store this upcoming spring! I wish you all a fabulous new year and a happy 2024! May you all be blessed with good fortune and happiness as we leave behind 2023! I’m sending nothing but love and positive energy your way! 💖💖💖💖

[romanaxe]

Writing WIP Wrap-Up: February - March 2025

It's that time again where I get too excited about all my WIPs and want to share what I'm working on with all y'all! In short I have 3 current WIP's that I'm actively writing, one sad, one cute, and one smutty (and then a little Freely We Serve related news at the end)

Details below cut:

In no particular order

[Title TBA] - RadioApple AU PWP Oneshot

It's an AU i actually don't think I've seen a lot of in the fandom, so I think it will be a fun little treat, even if its a PWP style oneshot with little world building

I can't give many details about this one because it's for the RadioApple Valentine's Day Exchange, but it's my usual wheelhouse of praise, degradation, negotiated smut with a little AU to shake things up a little.

just one more time (even if it's a lie) - Radiosilence Angst filled character/relationship study

Expected to be around 6k words maybe? Will be released February 14th

I basically only know what I want to happen, and I have the opening written, but it's bound to be like 1k words or less.

It's going to be similar in vibe to 'i don't think badly of you' which is to say, really sad and poetic. Major themes of unrequited love and mourning a future you'll never have

Glass Closet (Title subject to change) - Fluffy 5+1 RadioApple Sequel to Mutual Satisfaction

Aiming for Late Feb/Early March release

Ideally the last part would be released on my birthday, which means I would need to start posting mid-March, but we'll see if I manage that lol

Outline is done, expected to be 6 chapters of varying lengths that would release with weekly updates until complete, starting maybe March? Early April?

And a Freely We Serve update!

I'm getting all my information together for the sequel and I have a basic outline of what I want the story to be.

As I was planning, I did re-read FWS and oh boy have I come a long way as a writer. Unfortunately, I can not dedicate the time or the mental capacity to do a full re-write, but I will be going through and doing editing passes on every chapter in the next month or two.

All major scenes will still be the same, I'll only be fixing errors, typos, prose, etc. (and also probably taking out some of my more insecure authors notes lol).

Since FWS is so plot heavy, depending on how recently you've read it, you might need a reread ahead of beginning the sequel. I want the re-read to be as painless as possible, so editing is necessary lol

I'll make an announcement when editing is done so y'all can re-read if you'd like!

I will make no promises as to when it will start, but after I get a few chapters written to make sure my idea has legs, I'd like to do weekly updates. Again, that's a hope not a promise lol

Anywho, I have some other ideas, but these will be the priorities! (unless something crazy happens - coughcoughSeason2Trailercoughcough) ^-^

[taylorrepdetective]

Ok I know nobody can really know anything but I’m bored and bored with tavis so it’s fun to speculate. Do you think she is going to try to do a 1989 type fairly happy album about Travis, if so do you think they will still be together for this happyish album (lover) or have broken up but it’s not that sad (1989). Do you think this hypothetical album will come before or after the re-records

I have no idea honestly. To give you a simple answer, since that is what you asked for, my gut tells me it’s going to be a happy, poppy album that comes out in about a year, after the last 2 rerecordings. Purely based on what we know now. But what we know now is so little compared to her always planning 3 years in advance, and us not knowing when the three years starts and ends until it ends.

Imagine that tomorrow we get news that they broke up because one of the following 1) he cheated 2) she realizes she’s not over an ex 3) they just realize it’s not going anywhere and it’s amicable or 4) some other thing that will be new and fun. And imagine that the next album isn’t planned to come out until fall 2026. Then what we know now is basically meaningless. And people will assume her plans for the next album will change because of the breakup.

Adding to the uncertainty is the fact that we live in a post-truth world and she can do anything she pleases, and people will buy the story. So it’s hard to even use the factual knowledge we have to predict the narrative of what’s next.

As an example, she very clearly stated that she started working on TTPD in ~Feb 2022, a full year before toe broke up and something like 7 months before she and Matty got reconnected by Jack. But she stated, again, VERY CLEARLY, that TTPD was an album she absolutely knew had to do right then. And she said, again very clearly, without any wiggle room, that she worked on it from February 2022 until the end of the US leg of the tour, or Aug 9, 2023, using very specific language to bookend the start and end of the creative process, at least for the standard edition. And yet, AND YET, the whole world just believes The Alchemy is about Travis. They believe wholeheartedly that song about getting back together with someone, the whole Matty story line, is actually about a man she hadn’t even hung out with yet on Aug 9, 2023. And again this was a very clear and specific date that Travis himself gave us. They had their first in-person meeting about a month after his podcast declaration came out, which lines up perfectly with when she got back from the Mexico shows around August 23rd. But it’s about him because she says “touch down.” Not touchdown. Trophy (something she called her lover in Willow, written 3 years before Travis.) And Team, something she used to describe her relationship back in early 2019 (same team). And whenever tayvises think about it too hard, and realize something is not adding up, they make them get together retroactively. That they were together July 8 when he went to the KC show. It makes more sense to them for her to get together with him so shortly after the Matty devastation and that Travis lied about it, than try to accept the alternative that they are being suckered into believing in this fantasy so they will buy more albums while her actual private life is shielded from their invasive, judgmental eyes.

In this way, she reminds me a lot of Trump and MAGA. Obviously not in most ways, but the cult-like blinders where reality doesn’t matter and stupidity rules the day.

Rant over.

But also, I think her art has evolved a lot, even since Lover, so I can’t imagine an album that comes off as simple as that was. She has moved on to making much more complicated, deep and less easily categorizable projects. It’s likely that it will be about many things. But then again, she could just want to make a cute little sappy happy album that is simple and easily attributable to Travis, in the style of so high school, and maybe it’ll drop in the next few months. This is what tayvises think is coming.

As usual, I’m not making predictions, just presenting some options and shrugging my shoulders. I’m getting a little impatient because I am BORED by this era.

[megacarapa]

peter's epic 2025 amv challenge

i'm gonna try to challenge myself to make at least one amv for every month of 2025!!! this is gonna be a general post where i will collect all the videos in one place and also under the cut you can read me blabbing for five hours about how i decided on this project and my expectations going into it and stuff like that

jan | feb | mar | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep | oct | nov | dec

so this all started with the first video in this project, which should be going up shortly after this post. the short story is that i started working on this amv on new years eve 2023 and in the end it took me just over a year to finish it. it dragged on for a ridiculous amount of time because i just fell off the project and let it sit and collect dust for months, which i knew going in was a possibility and i still let it happen, i think this is something a lot of creatives can relate to.

to me having creative ideas feels like being in an unbelievably messy room with mountains of things strewn around all over the floor and table and shelves and chairs and my bed and that i really want to clean, and sometimes i do set myself on cleaning and even enjoy it, but most of the time i just end up bringing more stuff into the room and making it messier

the thing is that i dont believe that i can clean up this room, i dont even think that i can make a dent in it, but i would at least like to pick a few things up off the floor, and maybe a timed challenge could help with that

amvs are my favourite way of sharing the shows and music that i love so i would hate it if i stopped making them, i have mountains of ideas that i'm sitting on and for what!! this isnt a matter of skill, i dont know a lot about cool editing but i do believe that i have the skill to make videos that i myself would be satisfied with and that's really what i'm trying to achieve whenever i make a video anyway. so rather this is a matter of willpower. i genuinely do not know if i have enough willpower to get through this challenge, but i want to try and see how it goes

i dont remember what exactly sparked the idea for this challenge but i remember it was sometime in november and i was working and randomly got the idea and couldn't stop thinking about it and planning all through my shift. at that point i hadnt worked on that first amv since like march or april? and the idea of this challenge was enough to finally inspire me to get back to it, i worked on it little by little over the next month and a half, and i finally managed to reach the finish line

there's some other more esoteric reasons ive got in my head for trying a project like this. for example, my initial reaction to my own idea was that a month is too little time!! but the truth is the months go along so fast because i spend too much time zoning out and worrying about things i can't control. i want to try doing something challenging with my time, i want to slow down, i want a month to feel like a lot of time again, if that makes sense

naturally december will be the last month of this challenge. december is also my birth month, i feel like the older you get the less meaningful birthdays feel, so this is also my attempt at making my birthday have more meaning and see if i can get myself to grow and improve in something over the period of one year

oh another thing, the problem isnt just in MAKING the video. a lot of my ideas are for shows that i havent seen in a while, so i would have to rewatch them to be able to make an amv, or for shows i havent seen at all (more in a "this song has the same vibe as this show i keep seeing clips of" kinda way), so i would actually have to go and finally watch those to see if i want to make an amv for them. 

but on the other hand, i also have a lot of amv ideas for movies, which would be easier to make as there's less material to wade through, and actually since i started planning for this i kind of keep putting the movie ideas in the front line agdnfl. maybe this project will just end up being majorly movie amvs but we’ll see

also im not sure how a planned challenge like this will affect my spontaneous video making, i wanna say i can totally still make other videos unrelated to the challenge if inspiration strikes me and its not like im only gonna make 12 videos in the whole year, but idk if i know myself that well so we’ll have to see together how i act going forward LMAO

i was also tossing around the idea of making this a themed challenge, and i even had a nice idea of what the theme would be. i checked my ideas list and it was incredibly convenient that i had EXACTLY 12 concrete video ideas for this particular theme i had in mind (and then some more to spare which were just vague ideas), but at the end of the day i think making myself stick to a single theme for a whole year would be too restricting, and also i kept getting excited over ideas that didnt fit the theme anyway gsdhg

one thing that i do definitely know about myself is that at some point during these 12 months i will INEVITABLY get discouraged and it might happen as soon as the posting of this first video. so what if i dont make it? what if i miss a month? or run out of steam and just stop the challenge all together? well lets quote the 2011 tintin movie for a sec stay with me here

-bad news captain, we’ve only got one bullet. -what’s the good news? -we’ve got one bullet.

even if i dont complete the challenge, ive at least managed to finish this one amv that ive been sitting on for a literal year so i'm already pretty satisfied with myself

that being saiiiiidddd, the next video i have planned is coming along nicely, and the one after that shouldn’t be too much trouble, so i'm very happy to say see you next month =)

[sinofwriting]

Hi Sin, I love reading how Daniel and y/n Olivia met. I kinda want to know more about how they started hanging out more and more up to officially dating. If you’re able to do that. 🖤

I will forever want to share more about Daniel and Sweets.

So, Daniel and Sweets after hanging out for the first time, exchange numbers, and it's Sweets who reaches first. Just sending a simple text thanking Daniel for spending time with her and teaching her about F1. And this kind of opens the flood gates in way. Daniel and her start texting a lot, they meet up like two days later because she did promise to show him what she was working on.

It's during that second in person sesh for Sweets that she realizes she likes Daniel, is a little alarmed by it because she's been doing the single thing for a few months after her last relationship (will be somewhat expanded on in possessive and obsessive), and also Daniel is just so genuine in a way she's not used to from guys she likes. (More under the cut because I want on a ramble)

Daniel realizes the next day when their chatting on facetime, her calling him while out shopping because she's trying to find some stupid thing he mentioned he liked and she swears she's seen it here before but it's not there!!! and Daniel is just kind of like looking at her with heart eyes and he catches a glimpse of himself in corner of his phone screen and it hits him like oh, I like her.

They both are a little awkward next time they see each other in person which is about a week later, and they both are kind of flustered when they catch each others eyes, and when they're hands brush??? Sweets feels like she's going to die with the way all of the blood rushed to her cheeks and Daniel swears that his heart is racing more than it ever has.

They end up texting each other after when back at home after talking to a friend about it because it was little awkward but also so much fun and just great. (Daniel talks to Scotty and Chloe who's in the background, and Scotty is kind of losing it because dude!!! That's what it felt like with Chloe!!!) (Sweets is talking to Taylor (yes Swift, this is my verse/fic I get to make the rules) because they've become really close friends and who better to reach out to about something than Taylor who has experience with this. And Taylor is like hey, this might not end up going great, but you know that, you've been with guys before even if they weren't this much older than you. I can't and won't tell you not to do it, but I will say that you need to listen to what you want, forget everyone else) After talking to them they text each other like hey, that was weird right? and it's just like Yes! Very! They end up meeting at her place next day to kind of talk about it and they both just lay everything out on the table. Just hey, I really like you and I wouldn't mind dating you but with what we do we need to have a more serious conversation about that.

So they do, they spend the whole day just laying out what they want out of a relationship, their careers and life. Like if/when they want kids, how a family would work, retirementish plans, the pace of the relationship they want, marriage, just real serious things. They leave the conversation both feeling really good, because a lot of things match up and the things that don't (which are few and far between) are still really close, and hey comprise right? So they leave feeling good and with plans to go on a date soon.

They go on three dates before finally making it official/serious. Which funnily enough the day they get together is Feb. 17th 2022. Daniel tried asking her on Valentines Day and Sweets literally pushed him away like no, and that was when he first called her Sweets, a combo from her doing that and also because her first album is called sour (her face claim is Olivia after all)

[mrhaitch]

hi mr haitch!

i received a lovely response from haitch that has helped me quite a bit in processing and working on my fear of death. however, i saw a post of yours just now and it made me think. it was your response to someone basically arguing about democrats and republicans, and your opinion on the potential impacts of another trump presidency. so i ask, as a fellow non american, how do i not feel so anxious about this? i try to think that no, trump is not going to cause the heat death of the earth, but it freaks me out.

as an australian, i can say that we are quite influenced in america. just the other day, coming back from my university counselling, there were two young women wearing MAGA hats on the train just days after he got in. it infuriated me, though everyone is allowed their own opinion (even if it makes me want to rip my eyeballs out and throw them at them). how do i not think that this is the end of the world? for some it is. i have heard far too many people expose their genuine plans for suicide now that trump is in. someone said they are taking their girlfriend out for one last dinner and they’re committing together. that horrifies me to my core.

in my state, we recently just elected our state premier, which is now a party i would describe as on the right, for an easy comparison. abortions, breast cancer screenings, and thousands of hospital staff are to be cut. children committing crimes will be doing adult time, which i can only imagine you understand just how antithetical that is to actually solving the problem. after this election, there was a nazi rally in our central city. i worry that with trump’s election, it might truly come home to us.

so, how do i not feel so scared?

on a side note, i HAVE to ask your opinions on deathcore? i’m seeing thy art is murder and brand of sacrifice in a few days, and i saw ice nine kills and amity affliction today! i’m seeing lorna shore and to the grave in feb, TTG is a super cool deathcore band from NSW here in aus! even things like suffocation, dying fetus, infant annihilator, or cannibal corpse? (and the terrifier series if you have watched them!)

but yeah, it’s a weird time to be alive, but i want to believe that after this, we will not have to experience it again. perhaps someone will have better aim, we will never know.

this is far too long, so have a good night or day!

As time goes by, I find myself more convinced by Foucault's writings on biopower - and especially when it comes to anxiety.

We need to start thinking about how we're defining anxiety: when we talk about it do we mean the emotion arising, rationally, from a particular stimulus? Or do we mean generalised, non-specific anxiety which arises from a disease or abnormality in the mind? The latter needs treatment - the former needs scrutiny, but also not to be ignored or discarded.

The fear many of us are feeling right now is rational. We feel it for a reason - fear is what keeps you alive in moments of danger. It helps us think and move faster. It helps us see clearer (if we learn to direct and control it). While it can be a hard emotion to sit with, we can't push it away or try to treat it. Use that fear to motivate you to build connections with the people around you, to organise, to strengthen community bonds if the worst happens and you need people to support you.

So the short answer: you don't need to get rid of your fear.

Now for the second part:

I'm really not a fan of deathcore. I know it's the genre of the moment, but it's never really done it for me (and I say this as someone who previously moonlighted for a deathcore band a few years ago). Call it personal taste, but I feel that there's a race to the bottom with regards to guitar tuning: everyone is going lower and lower and you end up with a bass heavy mush with little articulation. Everyone starts slamming the lower strings, more than one breakdown per song, etc.

(very much old man shaking his fist at the eyounger generations)

With that said I'm a big fan of cannibal corpse (although, let's be real, they are very much OG Florida death metal) and quite like Ice Nine Kills. One band I am quite excited about, though, is a UK local act who blend elements of deathcore with black and death metal. Link below:

[mariacallous]

Now that I'm home, face wiped off, bra off, changed into pajamas, let me tell you about this dogshit meeting.

First, some context: I've mention our overall team director, the one who's been on vacation for easily a month and a half of the total time I've been working for the city (since the end of Feb) and who also as a Reasonable Accommodation to work from home outside of the permitted 2 days per our union and the pilot program the city launched so some weeks she's literally only in the office one day, and then she has so many meetings it's hard to actually discuss anything. She shifts meetings and calendar events all the time.

She is constantly unprepared for meetings - emails sit for months and documents and memos also linger - and she's not only always talking about how overwhelming her email is, but she lets people know *in the meetings* that she is *just at that moment* reading the email or document being discussed.

My boss and I have sent several items to her that didn't get any responses (unless and until we cornered her in the office when she's in the office) and on that Big Project I'm still technically waiting to hear whether it's moving forward, she's been a bigger obstacle to our making progress and doing things than both NYC OMB and the budget and migrant crises, which is saying something. She's one of the biggest reasons why we've had to keep adjusting our plans and the work we're trying to do and she keeps either not paying attention or not being clear with us so we're constantly struggling. It's to the point where our other agency partners are openly asking me "Do you even want to work on this? Are you actually prioritizing this? It's a little ridiculous that we have other offices and divisions asking us to participate and you all keep holding things up and not doing anything".

All this to say that today was our monthly coordinating meeting with two of our key other partners in the agency. We have a lot of projects or topics that we needed to discuss and make decisions on.

Things get kicked off with the bulk of one of the other partner teams not being available, so we were initially going to try to shift some things. Then we got someone and could move forward with the original agenda/list of topics.

Y'all...she was the one who put the agenda together. And she made it very clear that she had basically not read or ignored the email (which I flagged for her! Yesterday!) that the other partner team's lead had sent with all of the details. So she was asking for him to provide and go over stuff that is not only in the email, which I flagged, but which is also now at least a month old from when it was originally sent. And we didn't make a decision. She and I apparently are going to "discuss" this and "get some insight" from program teams in our office/division and then come back.

We then moved on to the next topic, and she was a little incoherent and mentioned the memo that I and my boss and another coworker put together which she has decided now needs to go to senior leadership and which she is editing. A memo that was sent to her *in July*, I want to emphasize. And, again, no decision.

The next topic was The Big Project. And the other team's lead directly asked "Have you guys done anything like we discussed?" and she floundered and I had to jump in and tell him what I'd told him separately, which is no, because we'd been told we were waiting for xyz from senior leadership and so nothing has moved forward except the draft stuff I sent to senior leadership a few weeks ago. And then my boss mentioned the changes we'd made and my boss completely, again, either hadn't paid attention to the emails or wasn't agreeing with us and hadn't let us know until then so she started trying to go back on things and make further changes and I almost lost my shit but fortunately I was muted on the call so no one heard me.

And now tomorrow my boss has scheduled a meeting with me, her, and the overall team director to make sure we're all on the same page. I told my boss that I'm hesitant at this point because of the issues we've had with the director and the other obstacles involved. I also flat out said "If she could read her email and be prepared in advance, it would help. Because this was embarrassing."

[cloudsandcrescents]

What’s your publishing schedule looking like?

That’s a great question. I have no clue (kidding but also not?)

Kidding…not kidding lol…send help pls. But seriously.

Rough Schedule (As it Stands)

I’m currently working on a follow up to Relinquish that sort of fell by the wayside. That is nearly done (75-80%) and it will be up before the end of week (ideally today or tomorrow). This will just be added as a second chapter to the original.

Leather Black I’m actually planning to post more frequently on because that’s meant to be a short series similar to how I did Empty Rooms. I’m planning to resume updates for that this week/weekend with weekly updates but will ideally be more like every 2-3 days depending on my schedule. I really like this one so I’m eager to update for it but I think I just started tackling it at a time where there was a lot going on in my personal life that messed up my schedule quite a bit.

After Hours is reaching its end with maybe another 2-3 chapters (the last likely being an epilogue) so I’m trying to wrap it up by getting back to (at minimum) a biweekly update schedule. Max I’m giving myself to finish is through end of January since that’s around when I first started it. Should have an update to this by the end of next week.

Similar to After Hours, I intend to wrap up Promise Me very soon as well with, likely, another 2-3 chapters. The alternating updates really worked well for me as I would just toggle between which one was the previously updated fic. (Unrelated) Promise Me I’ve actually been debating on because I already set the layout for a sequel in my head. I was thinking about whether I wanted to just keep it going or create a separate fic for it and right now I feel like the latter so we’re surprisingly wrapping that up soon. Should have an update on this in about two weeks if not sooner.

I want to lighten the load before I tackle anything further so I think this is the point where I kind of stop the addition of any new fics until I get a better handle on my current WIP. That said, I most likely won’t be updating Hour of Need or When We Serve until I finish After Hours and Promise Me. Encore is there as well though I’m feeling a little iffy on whether or not I want to come back to that but we’ll see. HoN and WWS will likely follow the pattern of alternating biweekly or even weekly updates between the two once After Hours and Promise Me are done. We’re going to give these a hopeful return in early February but may come sooner.

I’ve gotten several Tumblr requests in my asks that I do see and will definitely get too. I have a tendency to overload myself and I’m very susceptible to burnout so those are just a little behind but I’m hoping to add a few into my update schedule resuming in Mid-Jan/Early-Feb if not sooner once I wrap up Leather Black and my other two bigger fics.

As always, thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I hope that I’m fortunate enough where I can eventually just write for a living and just play with words all day. Until then, I most resume my normal day to day life which isn’t nearly as exciting but keeps me equally busy. I write most of my fics on my phone but also try to sit at my computer to write which tends to motivate me more. Unfortunately, my computer has been inoperable for a few months now as I’ll likely need to replace the CPU I’m pretty sure I broke lol. It’s had to take a backseat to a few other things but I’m planning to get a replacement in mid January and hopefully that’ll help with a lot with my productivity.

I hope this provides anyone looking for their particular favorite of my works, a bit of relief knowing that updates are coming soon. Thank you all for being the best part of getting to do this, truly. 🩵

[elizabethplaid]

early-daily notes - feb 18, 2024

Mom's death-aversary today. I'm planning to keep to myself, mostly. I have some things queued, such as multiple Saint Sebastian posts.

My body feels strange, as I'm fighting sleep. I swear I'm going to bed after making this post.

I had giddy laughter after the "height" of conversation last night. 10 minutes later, the night felt very empty and quiet. I thought of the few, brief mentions of death from our conversation, talking of time passing - at least 10 years into the future, if not many more.

Even if I'm late to things in life, like a career or moving out on my own, I'm mostly fine with that. The years I "lost" to anxiety and health and whatever... I needed that time to develop as a person. And I needed more time to sit with things, by myself, to refine what developed. I will be late to things in life; I may not have a wedding or biological children. But I have very good friends, ones that wish me the best and help me come up with ideas for potential strategies.

If my later years are content, with friends and found-family, then I won't mind not hitting the other milestones. To be loved and to love others, in whatever capacity, seems to be enough.

My mom was very alone, socially, for a large chunk of her life. She burnt bridges and didn't take care of relationships. She didn't have a funeral. We didn't contact old friends, because they weren't around. (Some had already passed, as well.) Dad stayed by her side almost til the end. He ran home to take a quick shower, and she was gone when he returned.

To paint it as a pretty picture, I said it was mom's way of letting him go. The artistic lies I tell myself to make her seem better are truly a comfort.

I told my phone friend about how I separate her into 2 people in my mind: like how fairytales would have the "wicked step-mother" figure, so that a "true mother" can remain positive/good. But it's also that I didn't understand the context of things during my childhood, where some of the classic "good" memories happened.

I learned she did some really terrible things, back when I didn't understand. I remember laughing at some things, but knowing more information, it made things seem so pathetic. But why would consequences mean so little to her, to potentially ruin her family?

The best comfort phone friend offered was that whatever mental health stuff mom had, it might've affected her ability to empathize. She already lacked judgement on stuff, and we knew she was doctor-shopping, so we couldn't trust whatever diagnosis was on paper. Plus, some of it wasn't understood well in the 90s.

Again, artistic lies, it's much nicer to think she wasn't purposely cruel to us in these thousand-papercuts ways.

My heart just feels pretty heavy. I will sit with these feelings today, let them out of the cage for today. We will negotiate their impact, deescalate things, tire them out, then put them back to bed.

And putting myself to bed is my next step, after I brush my teeth.

[aurrieattorney]

it has been a While since I've remembered/interacted with any fallen hero stuff but I AM dying to know more abt suranga so pls. holds out hands.

(uhhhhh my brain is a little bit scrambled by exhaustion so please heed that there's some tough themes from the source material in this, but at least a cw for mention of suicide and eating disorders)

[inhale] ok SO 

Basically, i missed original suranga a lot given i made him when things were kind of going to shit in my life, and my very nebulous webcomic iteration wasn’t scratching the itch to have him back quite enough, and round about early feb i found out retri was coming out.

So i kinda did a redux of him, keeping some of the things i had and tossing out others while adding other stuff. Much of this i’ve already yelled at with joel and mort, but i’ve never actually sat down and put all those yellings together lol. He’s lebanese-sri lankan (not that he would know, just generally he’s some unplaceable kind of south/west asian and using that to his advantage for fake names) and his voiceclaim, both speaking and singing (suranga sings! both in arabic and english) is hamed sinno (though sameer gadhia also works). For faceclaims, basically the closest person i can get to faceclaim inspo is varada sethu, esp pre-transition with the nose and the skin-tone. He’s also a little bit taller at just under 5’5’’ rather than 5’1 cos I took mercy on him, but he still has to crane his neck to look at ricardo being the giant he is (though suranga Did used to be 5’6’’ before HB fucked his spine up, and becoming even shorter than ortega makes him very grumpy).

freddie purrcury the lint monster is still there, but suranga adopts him pre-hb (ie. sidestep days). It’s thanks to fred that suranga stays with the rangers after a near-miss with the media (which i’m writing a fic up about!), and helps him grow into himself by having to look after another being. After HB, ricardo takes him briefly while he figures out what to do with himself. He’d ultimately love to keep fred but knows he can’t do a very good job of it esp after he decides he can’t retire yet, so fred goes to elena’s (spoilers for retri ending, theres a path where you can visit her ranch!!). I’m still deciding when would be the best point for them to reunite but basically suranga very sad w/o his cat, someone help him :(

however! He’s a mob step (at least, that’s what i’ve tended to default to, i love the crime found family :3 anarchist is also a good fit tho, and i’ve read through the code for thief which could also be fitting, so i’m planning to do), i debated whether he’d want to let the gang in on his identity and the base and ultimately decided yes, it was worth it if he wanted their full trust. He also accidentally becomes a parental figure to nehal, the gang’s driver, which is unexpected for everyone, suranga especially dsakjlfdksj. nehal has spud the pomeranian now, who essentially acts as the gang’s mascot. I have a few ideas about writing fic about their misadventures b/c i am very soft about them and suranga having people who’ve got his back

i changed his suit and his villain name (Argos) to be peacock themed! (here’s some concept sketches i’ve been sitting on a while lol, it’s meant to be imposing but whether it’s actually that remains to be said lol, mysterious might fit better

I was inspired by my trip to a SL temple belonging to a god which has peacocks associated with him, as well as music and dance. Peacocks fit well with his high arrogance anyway (tho his arrogance/obscurity stat might fluctuate a bit depending on the scenario). Thus, his gang is called the panoptes. This also extends to the cyranga au with @/geek-o13’s cyrus, whose villain name is Helios, and whose namesake is also sometimes described with the panoptes epithet :D if i go into that au this post might double in length so i’ll save that for another one, but thinking about the dynamic between the two and bouncing ideas back and forth brings me so much serotonin :’) 

i know for sure suranga would have the speed mod, as it’s what i always pick, but it might make more sense strategy wise to flip from strength (which, ouch, poor rangers) to telepathy to play to what he does best, (yes to cape, cos he’s a theatre nerd in spite of the inner edna mode telling him not to lol, spent so much time designing the stupid armor and sitting in the library as yasmin poring over books for inspo.) 

i’ve also decided suranga’s got chronic pain/fatigue from the fall in HB, especially in his legs and lower back (like… that was a four storey fall. i’m doubting the farm would bother to fix sidestep’s body enough to given them full mobility/painlessness again if they’re using the MC for experiments, doesn’t seem like giving them back those things was high on the list :V), and therefore also uses a back brace and a custom-made telescopic cane he made himself that can be extended/collapsed as necessary. He also wears a leg holster over his clothes that he can slot the cane into when he doesn’t feel like carrying it. Or doesn’t want to draw attention to himself by having it fall over like thirty times after propping it against something lol. it’s also on the same leg he had the holster for his gun during his sidestep days (and the cane also can function as a self-defense weapon in a pinch). The cane very much becomes part of his physical body language, he’ll gesture/point with it, fidget by twirling it around (he’s dropped it a lot practicing, but he’s a real pro these days) knock on doors with it, or hook things with the handle, etc etc. fhr having a bunch of medical advancements in commonplace prosthesis makes a realy interesting thought experiment about what ableism would look like, esp when chen’s (and to some extent ortega’s) conversations bring up that mods aren’t all great and come with their own issues/challenges.

He’s still a tech/fighterstep, but he’s had to think more like a tactician since then cos he can’t rely so much on his body in fights, which is making me consider doing a tactician run to see if it fits. Anyway, the powersuit mortum makes is basically a mobility aid of sorts, but he has to be careful not to overdo it. He keeps pain meds on him/uses adaptive tools around his apartment (during rebirth, it’s a comfortable flat, and one of the lower ones of the complex in the off-chance the lift breaks down, before he moves into the flat above the tech shop being used as a front for the panoptes) ie. shower chair, a grabber so he doesnt have to bend too far down if he’s dropped something/otherwise would need to get onto a step-stool and potentially eat shit if he loses balance, generally having places to sit throughout the flat in reach, heat pads, etc. 

sometimes he has a habit of drinking (so a secondary vice to sweets) as a way of coping with the pain when it gets a lot, but he tries not to do it too much, and only in the privacy of his apartment. i noticed in the code diving that this vice develops because of telepathy being so energy-intensive, and that a sweets vice mc will also want food in general, not just sweets. Given one of ortega’s love languages is sharing food, they work really well with a sweets vice sidestep, romanced or friendship route :D suranga might have some kind of eating disorder alongside textural issues with food where some days he’s just not able to eat anything. He doesn’t generally do meat, because he likely never had it at the farm and is too expensive in the FEZ anyways, fish is usually ok, but pre-HB if he was having it at his flat, he had to make sure fred couldn’t eat it while he wasn’t looking lol

Basically i’m projecting some of my own crip problems onto suranga and no one can stop me lol. 

Anyway, that also means he really understands chen as a fellow physically disabled person when they start talking in retri (ortega has their own can of worms with the military-grade mods giving back their ability to walk after being paralyzed by the accident way back when they first meet chen), ie. understanding why he named his dog spoon. I’d like to hc that given how happy suranga was with fred, after hb, part of chen’s decision to adopt a dog was that he saw how helpful it was for him, even if he didn’t fully trust suranga, but! given Suranga’s a techstep, it’s canon that techstep mcs used to help chen manage his mods/do tune-up (which would require some degree of trust) and there’s even an option in retri when you meet him at HQ where you notice he’s having problems with his prosthetic limbs and suggest how to adjust it so it works better, which is a nice touch - tactician steps also played chess with him in their downtime!

He’s got yasmin to hop into if his own body gets laid up too bad, but he’s still got reservations about what he does with her body (flirting for information is alright, but no romantic relationships/sex). Her being (presumably) cis, at first it’s a little disconcerting having to perform being a woman again, but the more he gets used to being her, the more he realises feminine stuff isn’t so bad when it’s an opt in thing and begins to experiment with his own presentation sometime between rebirth and retri now he’s got a bit more freedom and confidence to try now he’s debuted as a villain.

He’s always had a fascination with how one can change how they’re perceived just in the way they carry themself, how they dress/behave etc (which then led to an interest in costumes/theatre/fashion, and i’m imagining if there were powerpoint nights at the rangers, suranga would come in with a 20 slide presentation on tearing into x villain of the week’s fit, much to themmy’s delight)

He also has an interest in sewing instead of knitting (although he still does that too, it’s just that sewing is his main thing now, which first started out as fixing holes in his clothes rather than just throw them out, then began teaching himself from books, and then on a trip to tia elena’s, asks about the broken sewing machine she never really used, and then fixes it. Elena teaches him a few of the basics, then he gets into making his own clothes, and makes a gift for elena as thanks (an embroidered shawl with sunflowers on it :3)

this then meshes really well with the puppetmaster scar (in retri, the suicidal scar from rebirth becomes a seperate tag and there’s options throughout the game to convert it to one of the other scars), which has funky implications esp when paired with fate motivation as a fourth-wall break/slightly self-aware kind of step, BUT ALSO THE AUTISM SCRIPT THING (the mc/sidestep is so autistic coded, which makes sense given the author is also autistic). If you’re a baby regene escapee that’s used to following scripts and orders, once you break out there’s only so much you can do before you have to do improv, something something how do you know what your real personality is when you’ve always had to perform? Puppetmaster being similar in flavour to the outsider scar (his original scar, iirc) with a few more bells and whistles, I think it’s p fitting, esp since it works with the strings/thread stuff featuring a lot more heavily in retri, ie. more opportunities to possess people/meet other telepaths/reflect on your relationship to your puppet (yasmin, tall latina gal in suranga’s case). I have no idea how much spoilers you’d want for retri but i’ve been code-diving big time, specifically cos retri is such a sprawling beast of code/divergent story paths.

Suranga is still a pining dumbass for ortega except from afar as the secret crush route, which hasn’t changed (although he’s a bit more clued in that ortega is up to something and has to keep his guard up somewhat). this is made DOUBLY hilarious when also paired with the chenmance (SPOON!!!!!!!!) wherein you find out chen also. has a crush on ricardo. You have to see chen instead of going to hoots with ortega to find that out tho (what a mess lol, everyone here assumes the others are straight.)

I’m angling for the poly route, since so far in retri you can only set up for it, as opposed to chargentstep where if you’re already dating ortega and you get the auction kiss with argent and mention that, you can say you want both of them and there’s no issue cos actually, ortega (julia AND ricardo) flirted with argent when she first joined, and she also likes them lol.

SPEAKING OF ARGENT suranga did enjoy fighting her (if with some degree of stress because ‘oh shit, you would be so mad if you knew i was in your head’ and being an unknown), such that he doesn’t use telepathy against her out of respect even though that’s the only thing mostly keeping them matched. On the bridge, he flirts with her to throw her off, accidentally leaning too much into his yasmin confidence, then gets confused by her actually being interested and then has to re-evaluate what exactly his gameplan is with her. He gets kissed (and bitten) at the auction when he takes his helmet off, and then when he turns up at the HQ has a very awkward conversation with her in the breakroom trying to figure out what the hell their relationship is (some kind of weird friends but the argentmance route is very cute too)

Herald/daniel is kept at arms length, suranga’s his coach and thinks he’s nice enough but a bit sensory overload with all his thoughts (he can’t really teach by sparring since he’s not up to par anymore, and it’s kind of half-true, outside of the suit he can only do so much, but he can offer pointers/maybe bring in nehal?) - maybe or maybe doesn’t pick up on the crush, idk

there's plenty more to add i likely forgot but that has been an Infodump abt suranga the current favourite oc, THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME <3

[lifeissuperbeautiful]

feb 27, 2025

currrently i am listening to theme from twin peaks by angelo badalamenti. i wokr up at 1:30pm today, and for the last 3 days. i've had a week off, and a 5 day cancun trip, and a few days off before then. ive been drinking almost every day. i know i said life is about having fun and developing relationships with friends, but after waking up and eating breakfast at 5pm for the past few i realized the pendulum has swung the other way. my house is a mess, my room is a mess, and my mental is honestly kinda a mess too. although the moments of drunk fun is fun, it is fleeting, and the sobriety the next day, coupled with the realization that ive been post poning everything actually important in my life is telling me i cant keep living like this. i quit vaping before cancun and now i am back on it, told myself that i would stop drinking and take a break but here i am. drunk, everybody is asleep and i am on the couch at 2am listening to noire jazz. the pendulum is ever swinging, and i am constantly in a state of instability it feels sometimes. would stable ground really do me good? my house is littered with beer cans and garbage, well i am exaggerating, i can feel the discontent of my life rising within me. how i am like such a wild animal towards the most primal of instinct. why do i keep getting accidentally drunk and acccidentally going on week long benders. i need to take care of myself, physically and mentally. i need to change once again. my roommate said it. dealing in absolutes is easier, because it takes a little more self control to maintain in the middle. between fire and water. yin and yang? as there cant be chaos without order. does that mean that the pendulum is meant to happen or that equilibrium is meant to be reached. listened to michelle - yuseef lateef while drawing, tried to convey the emotion that it made me feel. i drew a picture of the face looking back at me during a hard conversation telling them things that they dont want to hear. its a beautful song. theres so much beauty in something thats such an ugly experience. i wish i had one more beer fuck. anyways, i planned more of mt europe trip that i am doing with the boys, 3 weeks in switzerland and italy. we have already booked our flights, and stays now. now, time for some events i really want to see some operas. i wonder what type of life changing experiences this trip will bring. i am very excited to keep travelling and see the world. i hate the fact that ive romanticized smoking cigarettes, as cliche or stupid as this may sound, that shit is just so cool and i love smoking listening to a good song and having a good conversation. i should realize that perhaps maybe life cannot always be sustained in the condition it is in during those fun times, and i must let the boring, self maintence times come, to strike a balance. i am still not sure what i am doing, although id say i am a person who has always thought deeply, i still find myself dealing with the same perdicaments as i have been in for the last 4 years. i am excited for the moments where i am scared and nervous, but i push through it and everything ends up being alright and good. i need to reign in the party animal for a couple months and live healthy until the trip. thing is, tomorrow i already have a thrift date planned with a beer after, oil change in my home town, meal prep and go out and party at night, and then have a 2nd date with this girl i met a couple days ago. i have completely overbooked myself and i always end up making this mistake. i like hanging with people, and i like the fact that people would want to hang out with me as it shows me i am atleast somewhat likeable. i want human interaction and fun, but i also want to be able to tend to my own needs, but its hard when so many different people want to do different things. i have a hard time saying no because it feels like ive always said yes, and thing is, the way i end up having fun a lot of the times is actually saying yes to things i dont actually want to do, but after breaking the first 2 layers of comfort, its super fun

[bratbarzal]

happy valentines day!

I've never really done a blurb event before but I wanted to do something cute for valentines to give back for all the love you guys have given me recently!!!

probably should have started this sooner but having a small window hopefully means I won't get overwhelmed and end up with demand avoidance lmao

if you've seen any player on my page before, assume they're fair game for a request, but if you haven't, I'll let you know if I won't fulfil a certain request for anybody else ♥️

requests will close this sunday (16th feb - which I know is counterintuitive for a valentines themed event but love is forever, okay?) just send in a prompt from the list under the cut + whatever player you want! (you could also do trope!player if you wanted like dad!whoever or fwb!whoever else it’s up to you!!) and don’t be afraid to jumble the prompts/tropes around if you like a specific one but not enemies to lovers or whatever!!

also just know I usually write exclusively in 300 page novels and blurbs are new to me so pls be kind and patient lmao I'm just trying to have fun with something different ♥️

prompts have been copied from here, please show love to the original creator / enemies to lovers prompts taken from here!!

ੈ✩‧₊˚ friends to lovers

¹⁾ “you really planned this?! remind me how you’re single, again?”

²⁾ “thanks for making today a little less depressing.”

³⁾ “has it occurred to you that we’ve spent more valentine’s days with each other than with people we’ve actually been dating?”

⁴⁾ “c’mon, like i need an excuse to spend time with you.”

⁵⁾ “i can’t help but think that this is a little more effort than someone would normally put in for their friend.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ coworkers to lovers

¹⁾ “if you’re still wondering who left those flowers at your desk, i think i’m ready to put your mind at ease.”

²⁾ “you’re telling me you really have nowhere better to be than here today?”

³⁾ “c’mon, it’s not like haven’t shared a dinner whilst working late before. it doesn’t have to mean anything different just because of the day that’s in it.”

⁴⁾ “someone’s been leaving valentines for me all over the building today, and i’m pretty sure i know who.”

⁵⁾ “i don’t have any plans after work, and i know you haven’t either. how about we keep each other company instead of spending it alone?”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ roommates to lovers

¹⁾ “before you say anything about me being at home tonight, i want to remind you that you are too.”

²⁾ “i thought that since we both had nowhere to be today, we could make a day of it. just ourselves.”

³⁾ “i’m guessing that the fact you’re already home will tell me everything i need to know about how your date went.”

⁴⁾ “wow, someone’s looking good. hot date, or what?”

⁵⁾ “i’m happy i got to spend the day with someone i actually care about.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ exes to lovers

¹⁾ “don’t tell me; you had so much fun with me last year, that you just couldn’t resist spending it with me again.”

²⁾ “wow, you really don’t have anyone special in your life at the minute.”

³⁾ “ i wanted to treat you how i should’ve before.”

⁴⁾ “you really thought i wouldn’t remember what you like? please, give me a little credit.”

⁵⁾ “maybe if things had gone like this every year, we wouldn’t have ended up the way we did.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ secret relationship

¹⁾ “are you telling me we can’t do anything to mark the day?”

²⁾ “i understand if you don’t want to, but i wanted to tell you that i planned a few things for us today.”

³⁾ “it’s so much less than what you deserve, but it’s all i could think to do given the circumstances.”

⁴⁾ “and here i was, expecting just an anonymous bunch of flowers.”

⁵⁾ “i couldn’t think of a better night to show everyone how in love with you i am.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ enemies to lovers

¹⁾ “you have a date? how much did you pay them?"

²⁾ "i told my friends i'd go on this stupid double date with them." "and that's my business because..?" "..i don't have a date."

³⁾ "you've been teasing me all this time about being single just for you to get stood up?" "....." "move over, you're lucky i'm hungry."

⁴⁾ "you celebrate this corny day?" "just say you're lonely and have no one to spend it with, next time, 'kay?"

⁵⁾ crashing their date with another person purposely