#then we decided every day had to belong to a week of 7 days

[esoanem]

Personally I'd prefer 12 lunar months with 1 (or 2) days per month not belonging to any week within the month

An intercalary month can be added as needed to stop the equinoctes drifting

Thinking about her...

ISO 8601 compatible variant of the international fixed calendar

[chestnutninny]

Dinner Date

No warnings, just pure fluff with Emily :)))

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The last few weeks, you had noticed Emily’s change in behaviour. She had been a lot more subdued than usual and it was starting to show to the rest of the team too. Every time you were both in the same room, her head would remain down and if you tried to talk to her, she would just stammer out an excuse and run off somewhere else.

“You know, you should just ask her out.” Derek remarked.

“What?” Emily responded, genuine confusion flashing across her features.

“Those feelings that you have, they aren’t going to go away any time soon. Trust me. What’s the worst that she’ll say, I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Emily frowned at him, not fully agreeing  with his statement. She could think of lots of bad ways it could end up turning out, you being completely disgusted by her admission. However, she knew that at least then she’d have some form of validation.

She sat at her desk, plucking up the courage to ask you out, and thinking of how she would word it. She thought that she would keep it casual and just ask you out for dinner, but ultimately decided that coffee would suffice if you were limited for time. She stood up and made her way towards your desk as you were packing up your belongings, getting ready to go home after finishing your paperwork.

“Hey.” She greeted, nervously shuffling from foot to foot.

“Hi, Em!” You looked up at her, a smile taking its place on your lips. She couldn’t help the blush that tinted her cheeks at the nickname that effortlessly slipped from your mouth.

“I was thinking…”

“Oh no, I thought I could smell burning.” You joked with a smirk on your face, trying to lighten the mood as you could see she was nervous. You watched as she visibly relaxed slightly, a chuckle leaving her mouth in a sigh as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Would you…” She started and abruptly stopped, watching as your face waited for her to continue, “Would you like- I mean, if you’re not busy…We could get lunch or dinner? Or maybe just coffee, if you don’t have a lot of time?”

“Do I make you nervous?” You stood closer to her, her breath catching in her throat, as you tucked a lock of her raven hair behind her ear. You chuckled as her head nodded rapidly, “I can do dinner.”

“Wait, really? I can’t lie, I didn't think any further than that, I wasn’t expecting you to agree.”

“Aw, Emily. Well, have a think about a date and time and just let me know.” She nodded along and returned back to her own desk, smiling as you exited the room.

“As if you picked her up, stuttering like that.” Derek laughed, feigning shock when Emily threw a scrunched up piece of paper towards him.

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The next day, Hotch had told everyone that they would have a shorter day, only having to do the final bits of paperwork that was left. You were earlier than the majority of the team, wanting to get a head start of the work. You looked up as you felt someone stood above you.

“Good morning.” Emily chirped, setting a cup of coffee down on your desk.

“Morning. Is this for me?” You smiled when she nodded at you walking past your desk and sitting up to her own.

You looked at the cup and took notice of the sticky note that was attached to the side of the cup. You took it off and took a sip of the warm beverage before reading the note. You hummed as the coffee enveloped your taste buds, blushing as you released that Emily had remembered your very specific order, before shouting a “thank you” over your shoulder.

‘Hey, pretty. Be ready for 7, I’ll see you then.’

You held the note closer to you, getting a smell of her perfume, your stomach doing backflips at the thought of tonight.

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You stood in front of the mirror, checking yourself out in the small, black dress you decided on wearing, admiring the way it hugged your curves and pushed up your cleavage just enough to grab Emily’s attention. You still couldn’t completely shake the nerves that you were feeling, yet excited to finally have Emily in a way that wasn’t just friends. You were excited to see where she had decided to take you, when suddenly a knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts.

You answered the door, seeing Emily standing at the other side of the threshold to your apartment. She was wearing a white dress shirt with flared black trousers, the pants fitting snugly around her hips. She was holding a small bouquet of flowers out towards you, all of your favourite flowers compiled together perfectly.

“Hey, you.” You leaned forward, planting a kiss to her cheek, a satisfied smirk leading its way on your face at the blush that kept up Emily’s neck.

“Hey! Wow, you look so beautiful, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Em. But I think you take the title for the most beautiful.”

You invited her into your apartment and she handed you the flowers, watching as you put them in a vase after filling it with water. She waited patiently for you to slip your shoes on and grab your purse before heading towards the front door. After you locked your door, you linked your arm with Emily’s and headed down to the parking section of your apartment complex.

“You know, I never actually gave you my address.” You bumped your shoulder with your own as you squinted your eyes at her.

“Well…Okay, I may or may not have asked Garcia to look it up on the computer system.” She shrugged nonchalantly, however you could see the embarrassment bubble in her eyes. You giggle at the flush that covers her face, and the way she avoids your eyes.

As you reach her car, she pulls your door open for you, waiting for you to get comfortable before closing the door to make her way around to her own side of the car. She ensures that you have your belt on before putting the car into drive and setting off towards your destination for tonight. You gasp as you pull into the parking lot of a new, and very fancy, restaurant that had just opened just outside of your town.

You didn’t even want to think about how costly this place is and how Emily had even managed to snag a reservation at the restaurant as the demands were high. You were pulled from your thoughts when your car door swung open, revealing Emily stood by your side with her hand outstretched, ready for you to take. You unclipped your seatbelt and took her hand, letting her guide you to the entrance to the restaurant.

She gave the reservation name at the front desk, following as the waiter led you both to your table, which was quiet and private in the corner of the restaurant. She ordered drinks for you both as you looked through the ample meals that were presented on the menus in front of you both. You settled on a risotto, which you couldn’t completely pronounce the name of, and Emily ordered the Fiorentina steak for herself.

The conversation flowed easily between the two of you throughout the night, and you noticed the confidence that Emily had slowly started to gain, showing that she had become more comfortable about being around you, especially alone together. You had both finished your meals and had ended with your dessert, just sipping the remains of the red wine that resided in your glasses. Emily had waved the waiter over to pay the bill, declining your offer of going half with her payment.

“You didn’t have to do that, Em.” You complained, knowing that she had spent an absolute fortune on the meals that you had helped devour.

“Well, I wanted to have the best first date with such a gorgeous woman.” She winked over to you, which left you blushing and stuttering over your words, the tables having completely flipped by now.

She led you out of the restaurant, your hand in hers, and guided you back to the car before she set off to drop you back off at your apartment. She turned on the radio as you both settled into the car, and your favourite song started to play, echoing off the windows of the vehicle.

“Oh my God, I love this song!” You exclaimed, you smile growing as Emily’s hand reached over and turned the volume up more, so that she could hear it better. 

She giggled to herself as the chorus came on and you began to sing your heart out to the song, watching the way you looked so happy and care-free, you looked the most beautiful right now. The song came to a close and you both sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying the company of being together right now. After a while, the car pulled into your apartment complex and Emily looked over to you.

“I’ll walk you to the door.” She decided, opening the driver's door before opening your door for you. 

You reached for her hand as you walked up the path to the main doors, and closer towards your apartment. You decided to take the stairs rather than the lift, wanting to spend as much time with Emily as you could before the night was over and she retired to her own home. You both slowed as you arrived at your apartment door,her hand lingering in yours.

“Thank you for tonight, Em. It’s honestly been amazing.” You smiled as your head dipped down, your hair falling slightly to frame your face.

“No, thank you, Y/N. I’m glad that I finally had the courage to ask you out. I’m really excited for our next one.”

“Ohh, so there’s going to be a next on, huh?” You smirked, despite the butterflies that were fluttering in your stomach with nervousness and excitement at the mention of another date with Emily.

“U-Um, only if you want of course?” Emily stuttered, her confidence flattering slightly.

“Of course, Emily. I’d love nothing more.”

You reached into your purse, pulling out your keys and sliding them into the door. Emily reached out her hand and took your hand in hers, giving it a squeeze in order to gain your attention. She tucks a strand of your hair that came loose behind your ear.

You leaned in closer to her, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt her warmth breath on your face, a complete contrast to the cool night. She leaned in and closed the gap in between you both. Her hands caress your cheeks, holding you close to her face, her body pressing against your own. 

“Thank you for tonight, Y/N.” Emily gasps out as you both part, coming up for air.

“Goodnight.” She pressed a kiss to your cheek, before setting off back down your corridor.

“Goodnight, Em.” You whispered back, watching as she turned the corner to the corridor, shooting you a smile over her shoulder as she disappeared from your sight.

You let yourself into your apartment and set down your belongings, a huge grin residing on your face after your incredible date. You couldn't wait for tomorrow at work, knowing exactly that Emily would return to her stuttering self without the liquid courage, and you could already see the deep blush setting on her face when her eyes would meet your own. You were snagged from your thoughts as your phone pinged.

‘I’m home, sweetheart.’

Your heart fluttered at the nickname as well as her informing you that she was home and safe. You slipped on your pyjamas and got into bed. As soon as your head hit the pillow, your eyes fluttered shut and your head filled with happy memories of the night that you’d just participated in.

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Taglist: @borinxnovak @zolofts @lolololalalala @chloeelou02x (join my taglist here.)

[dakotalun]

You Belong With Me | Eddie Munson

pairing: Modern!Eddie Munson X Fem Reader

summary: Part 2--Eddie gets a special visit...but it hurts more than it helps.

warnings: drug use, language, mentions of cheating, sad Eddie

word count: 4.2k

a/n: I've estimated about 7 or so parts to this series and I will be working on them for the next couple of weeks.

*******NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS*******

“Yeah I’m coming!” Eddie says from his room, getting up from his bed and pressing the butt of his blunt into the ashtray on the nightstand. He had been laying in bed, listening to Ozzy, smoking and drinking a beer after he got back from the basketball game a little while ago.

He was pissed at you for yelling at him earlier and bailing on him when it was so out of character for you to do so. But it was nice just sitting under the bleachers alone, oogling the love of his life. Another knock comes as he exits his room, “I said I’m coming-” He swings the front door open and it reveals a sad and red eyed Chrissy.

“Shit Chrissy, are- are you okay?” Eddie steps aside and allows her to enter the trailer.

“Hey Eddie. Sorry to just come over unannounced and all,” Her voice is strained but steady, as if she’s used to speaking after crying.

“No no it’s fine. What’s going on?” He walks over to the couch and sits down, Chrissy following after.

“Jason and I got into a big fight after the game tonight,” Eddie’s ears burn at the thought of Jason being a dick to such a sweet girl then return to normal after thinking about the fight he just had with you, “And I couldn’t be around him anymore so I went for a walk. I thought about things on the way then noticed that I was almost to here and decided to stop by.”

Eddie’s surprised at the words coming from her. She thought of him and decided to stop by, could this be his lucky day?

“Aw I’m sorry that sucks. What can I do to help? Do you need me to go beat him up? Cause I will, I’ll do it right now.” His tone is upbeat and happy but he means every word.

A smile creeps onto Chrissy’s face showing her perfect teeth, “No, no. Nothing like that. I was just wondering if you could, um,” She hesitates, nervous to ask the question.

Eddie puts a reassuring hand on her knee, this being the second time in 2 weeks that they’ve touched. “I’ll do anything, just say the word.” His doe eyes wide and full of truth.

“Can I get some weed or pills or something? I’ve not been in the best headspace lately and I just need something to take the edge off.”

Those were not the words he thought she would say, not in a million years. His face grows warm, nervous about selling to Hawkin’s most famous IT girl. He needs the money but he feels bad for taking it from her, she doesn’t look like she’s taken anything stronger than a baby aspirin in her life, and now she wants weed or pills.

“Are- are you sure? Have you ever smoked before?” She shakes her head, “I know I said anything but I don’t know if I can,”

“Oh,” Her head falls down, clearly disappointed at his words, “That’s okay. It was stupid for me to come here anyway. I’ll get out of your hair, let you get back to whatever you were doing.” She stands up, hands running over her short skirt, both out of nervousness and to cover her ass.

Eddie shoots up quickly not wanting her to leave, “Wait! I mean if you really want some weed then I’ll give you some but on one condition.”

Her baby blue irises meeting his dark brown ones, liek two oceans colliding, “What condition?”

“You gotta smoke it with me. Can’t have you choking to death after taking one puff incorrectly, so? We gotta deal?” He holds his hand out for her to shake, needing another form of touch with her.

“Deal.” Her tiny hand is engulfed in his, the warmth of her skin seeping into his palm.

Eddie tells Chrissy to stay in the living room while he goes and gets a joint and lighter from his room. Returning only a few seconds later he plops down on the couch, exhaling a loud sigh.

“So I’ll start it off for you then I’ll show you how to take a hit correctly,” Chrissy nods at his words.

Eddie puts the blunt into his mouth, cupping his free hand around it to shield the imaginary wind as he lights it, taking a few short puffs just to get it started for her. Once he’s satisfied with his work he pulls it from his lips and hands it to her.

Chrissy looks at it weirdly, not even knowing how to hold it. Eddie notices this and opts to just guide the butt just past her lips, her strawberry lipgloss covering the paper. She looks at him every step of the way, not wanting to do it wrong.

“Alright now all you’re gonna do is breathe in slowly,” She follows his words, taking a slow, deep breathe in, “Good. Good, now,” He pulls his fingers and the blunt away from her lips, “Hold it in for a second until you start to feel that burn in your chest, then exhale.”

She holds for a short second before falling into a coughing fit. Eddie goes to rub her back, soothing the burn he knows all too well from his past. She takes a little to regain her barings again before sitting back up and leaning into the worn out couch.

“Okay that is not as easy as you make it look,” Her voice is hoarse, which Eddie only finds attractive.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, the more you do it the less it hurts,” He takes a long hit, letting the smoke fill his lungs for far too long.

“Okay then, guess I’ll have to try again then,” Eddie just nods and takes another hit before handing it back to her. She follows his steps the same way, only this time she isn’t coughing up a lung.

“Nice job. You’re a natural.” Eddie smiles and the two of them sit there just enjoying the peace and sharing a smoke.

Once it’s down to its last little bit, Eddie puts it out and leans deep into the couch, spreading his legs wide in the process. He lays his arms over the back and looks up at the ceiling. He’s always loved doing this after a good smoke, just sitting there, staring at the ceiling and allowing his mind to wander and eventually go blank.

Chrissy is sitting beside him still, more relaxed than before which brings a smile to Eddie’s lips. The room has been quiet for a while and Chrissy has a question that she’s been meaning to ask.

“So, why do you do it?” SHe says after clearing her throat a little.

“Do what?” He doesn’t look at her, still focused on the ceiling above.

“Why do you act the way you do? Why play that game and listen to that music? You do realize it’s not normal right?” This catches his attention, he brings his head up to look at her, her eyes drifting from his face to her lap where she fiddles with her hands.

“Why are you with Jason when you know he’s sleeping with half the girls at the school?” Eddie’s feeling feisty now, not pleased with the sudden line of questioning.

“I asked you first.” Chrissy retorts back.

“I don’t know what you mean. I act the way I do because that’s who I am, and I play D&D because I find it fun and thrilling. Being normal ’s just not for me, trust me on this one sweetheart.”

“But it could be. If you tried, then you wouldn’t have everyone staring at you and calling you a freak.”

“Yeah but you forget one thing,” Eddie’s sitting up right now, hands on his knees as he gets closer to her. Her eyes are looking at him again, scanning his face quickly, almost worry in her eyes.

“What’s that?” Chrissy’s voice is small and weak, Eddie’s presence now intimidating as he gets right up in her face, a mere inch apart.

“I don’t give a damn what people think.” Chrissy is staring into his eyes now, completely locked in and focused. 

“Your turn, why Jason?” Eddie really is curious as to why she’s with him, and he know’s it can’t only be for the social status, “And don’t say because he’s captain of the laundry basket game.”

“It’s called basketball and I wasn’t going to say that. I like him because he’s sweet and kind and always does the best for others.”

Eddie can’t believe the words she just used to describe him, “Jason? Like Jason Carver, the one who bullies me relentlessly and judges people if they breathe the wrong way? That Jason?”

“Yes Eddie, that Jason.” 

“But how?”

“I know he’s not the best to be around during school but that’s just because his dad is a jackass who won’t get off his back about basketball and his grades. He’s stressed all the time and just needs a break. And when he’s with me he’s thi sweet guy who doesn’t care what others think, just wanting to be the best he possibly can be.”

Eddie looks at her, mouth wide like a fish that’s trying to get air after being pulled from the water. Never in his 20 years of life did he think that he would hear someone say those things about Jason, especially in his trailer! It felt like an out of body experience.

“Can I ask you another question?” Chrissy is looking at him, ignoring the stunned expression.

“Uh sure. But this is the last one.”

“What’s up with you and y/n?” “Nothing, why?” The hair on the back of Eddie’s neck stand up at the mention of you.

“I didn’t se her with you today at the game and I was just curious. I mean you two are always together, even Jason and I don’t spend that much time together. Guess you guys just have a good relationship.”

“Woah woah woah. Y/n and I aren’t in a relationship. She’s just a friend.”

Chrissy gives him a quizzical look, not fully believing him, “Uh huh, so you guys just carpool together and walk to classes together and eat lunch together because you’re friends?”

“Yes. We do,” Eddie sits up straighter now, feeling like he has to assert dominance in this situation.

“Okay then. I was just wondering,” Chrissy is looking directly in his eyes now, analyzing the vast space of his irises.

His eyes are cool and calm, whilst hers are wide and a little curious. Eddie’s gaze dips from hers to her lips then back up again. Her lipgloss is pretty much gone, most of it on the end of the discarded blunt. They are soft and pink, not at all chapped and worn like his.

Eddie’s feeling bold and a little angry right now. Bold from the weed and angry at you for not believing that he could have Chrissy if he wanted to, so his next moves weren’t quite thought out. So before either of them knows it his lips are on hers. Chrissy gasps into the kiss, it quickly being muffled by his mouth. She knows she should pull away, she knows she shouldn’t be kissing anyone other than Jason, especially Eddie “The Freak” Munson, but his lips taste different and the way he holds himself is in high contrast from Jason.

So she leans in a little, giving back to what Eddie is giving her. They kiss for what feels like forever to Eddie but in actuality it was only a few seconds before she pulls away.

“I-” Chrissy tries to speak but the words fall silent on her tongue before she can even get them out.

“Shit, I’ve been wanting to do that for so fucking long. It’s even better than I imagined,” Eddie has his world famous grin on, happy to have finally made a move on his dream girl. He starts to lean back in for another kiss when one of Chrissy’s small hands touch his chest, pushing him back.

“What? What’s wrong?” Eddie’s concerned now.

“It’s, um, it’s Jason. I can’t do this to him.”

“But the guy is a jerk, you can do better than him,” Eddie puts his hand over the one onhis chest, “I can treat you better than he can.”

Her eyes are still downcast, not even daring a quick glace up to his. She slips her hand out from under his, letting it fall into her lap again. “Eddie I’m sorry. Really I am, but I can’t. I love him, and he loves me.”

The words are like acid to Eddie’s ears, his face burning at the sound. His body goes numb as he falls back into the couch. Chrissy is talking but he can’t understand her, being rejected is already too much to bear.

“You should go.” His voice is cold, harsh; he barely recognizes it himself.

“Yeah, um okay.” She gets up, gethers her things then rushes out the door. The sound loudly reverberating off the walls of the tin can Eddie calls a home.

He sits there. For a good 10 minutes he just sits there, thinking. Thinking about how he just kissed his dream girl, about how her lips felt on his, how good her lipgloss tasted on his tongue, how much he wishes it could’ve lasted longer, how he hates himself to doing it in the first place.

Eddie’s been dreaming of that moment since he was in 7th grade. He hoped she would be his first, in everything; first girlfriend, first kiss, first to have sex with him-he hoped for it all. Now he’s left sitting here, rejected and cold and alone.

What makes him feel worse is that he can’t even go talk to the one person he knows would make him feel better because she’s mad at him for something she was ultimately right about. He just wishes he could take this entire day back and start over.

---

All night you had been laying in bed and wracking your brain for all the possible ways to make it up to Eddie. Going through all these years of friendship the two of you share, thinking of all the things Eddie loves; weed, horror movies, milkshakes from Jay’s Diner, and the cookies you make.

You get up from your bed, the bright light of the rising sun peaking through your curtains. You could only sleep for a few hours that night, too afraid that you had ruined your best friendship. Throwing the blankets off yourself you get ready for the day, choosing comfort more than style.

An hour later you are standing in front of Eddie’s trailer, cookies and milkshakes in hand as you carry a bag of all his favorite horror movies you had just gotten from Family Video. You clock that Wayne’s truck is still outside even though he is normally on his way to work by now, but you don’t pay much attention to it as you knock on the door.

You wait for a few seconds and then are faced with the older man with salt and pepper hair.

“Hi Wayne.” You greet with a smile on your face.

“Hey honey, you here for Ed?” He moves aside to let you in.

“Yeah we uh got into a little fight last night and I wanted to check in on him. Brought milkshakes and cookies.” You hold up the items in your hand. Wayne smiles at your gesture, one Eddie would be sure to love as well.

“He’s been real upset today. Hasn’t said a word to me since I got back from work this morning, rarely comin’ outta that room a his.”

You’re confused for a minute at his words. Eddie seemed mad at you sure but to go as far as to lock himself in his room all day, that was dramatic, even gor him. The look on your face must’ve clued Wayne in on the fact that you had no clue what he was talking about.

“If ya don’t mind, may I ask what you fought about?” HE rubs the back of his neck, a thing Eddie does when he too is nervous, “Possibly get an idea as to why he’s like this.”

“Well he wanted to go to the basketball game last night but I wasn’t feeling up for it. I had tried a few times to tell him I didn’t wanna go but he’s a stubborn one,” Wayne nods his head and smiles a little, “I let my anger get to me and accidentally yelled at him, saying things I did and didn’t mean. But I didn’t think he would be that mad about it, not enough to lock himself inside for hours.”

The two of you standing there in silence, contem,plating all the other reasons for Eddie’s behavior today. The older man looks at his watch then sighs, knwoing it’s time to go to work but not wanting to leave his nephew.

“Go ahead. I’ll see if I can get to him, I’ll call you about what happened later.” Wayne gives you a reassuring smile and a squeeze on the arm before heading out the door and to his late night job.

You take a deep breath in and out, calming your nerves. You set the milkshakes into the freezer, not wanting them to melt as the two of you talked before heading down the short hallway to the metalhead’s room.

It’s rare to see Eddie’s door closed, always an open book in his own house. You knock on his door 3 times, a special order to them, signaling that it was you who was outside of it. Eddie was the one who suggested the two of you got a secret knock, being that both of your parental figures tended to just walk in unannounced and without warning.

The knock was short and sweet, something easy to remember. Eddie was the one who used it most, knocking on your window late at night to steal you away for a night drive or a smoke sesh. 

There is no response from Eddie, so you try the knock again, hoping he just didn’t hear you the thifrst time. Nothing, no response.

“Ed? You okay in there? Wayne said you haven’t left there all day.” You try and keep your voice neutral, not showing the hurt from deep inside that this might be your fault, “Look if this is about out fight last night I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I wasn’t in the right head space and I really shouldn’t’ve talked to you that way.” Still nothing, not even the shifting of sheets could be heard.

“I brought some movies and cookies. Oh and that milkshake you love so much from Jay’s.” You start to get worried now, Eddie has never been this quiet in his life, “Eddie please talk to me. I really didn’t mean to say those things about you and I take back every word. If you really, truly love Chrissy then I will support you. I just don’t want you to get hurt is all, I love you and hate seeing you like this.”

At the mention of Chrissy, Eddie’s heart constricted thinking about what happened last night. And for the first time all day, he speaks.

“It’s not your fault,” The words are soft, the sound in his voice coming out strained.

“Are you sure? I know I was harsh and I take full responsibility for your emotions and my actions. Can I come in? I kinda feel like I need to say this to your face.” You pause a moment, waiting for something, anything. Then you hear the small *click* of his door being unlocked. You open it and gasp at the sight in front of you.

Eddie is laying on his bed, blankets wrapped tightly around him as tissues surround and litter the the places around him. He was crying.

“Shit.” You say under your breath. There is soft music playing in the back ground, you recognize the song to be K. by Cigarettes After Sex. You know the song is on his sad playlist, one he rarely listened to that you knew of. So for him to be listening to it right now is startling.

“Eds?” You walk into the rom fully now, setting the cookies and movies down on the floor by the door. You take a few steps towards his bed, his back is turned to you.

“Eddie, what’s wrong?” You’re now at the edge of his bed, wanting more than anything for him to turn around and look at you. He just lays there, his breathing moving his chest up and down slowly.

“I fucked up.”

“Huh?” You weren’t even sure he said anything that’s how quietly he said it.

“I fucked up, badly.” He turns around now, showing you the aftermath of his endless crying all night. His eyes are puffy and red, tear lines stain his face as a little bit of snot if still lingering on his nose.

You’ve never, ever seen Eddie cry out of sadness before, happiness, excitement, pleasure, sure but not sadness and it worried you to your core to know who or what did this to him. You take a seat on his bed, placing a hand on his thigh, the layers of blankets stopping any sort of heat of his to tough yours.

“What happened? Why do you think you fucked up?”

“Chrissy came by last night…” That’s when your ears perked up, so this was her fault huh? “She wanted drugs but I wasn’t sure she should do them alone since I figured she’s never done them before. Being miss popular “good girl” and all.”

Eddie sits up now, clearing his throat as you just sit there, leting him talk. “I offered to sit with her and teacher her how to smoke properly as to not hurt herself, you know?” You only nod, “Well we were sitting there a few minutes just passing it back and forth, talking occasionally until she asked me a question.”

“Which was?”

“Why do you act the way you do? It seemed harmless at the time, just something that one would ask the town freak,” Your heart pangs at the name he calls himself, “I retorted with a question of my own, following in her line of questioning. Everything was good, then she looked at me. Like really looked at me and I couldn’t hold back anymore, after what you said and the way she just seemed so damn pretty even after coming here with tears staining her face. I kissed her.”

Your eyes went wide. He kissed her. Eddie kissed Chrissy. Eddie Munson and Chrissy Cunningham kissed. The “town freak” and the “cheery good girl” of Hawkins kissed. No matter what way you put it nothing changed. The boy you love, are in love with kissed someone else, someone who had a boyfriend who despised Eddie.

You’re silent, not even breathing as Eddie stares at you, “We only kissed for a few seconds but it was great, her lips were soft and sweet. I wanted to stay like that forever, I could’ve if she didn’t pull away. She told me it was wrong and she couldn’t do it, Jason being the one she loved, even though I know for a fact that he’s fucking other girls around the school.”

The words and thoughts of Eddie kissing Chrissy still heaven’t left your brain, you needed to get them out. “So that’s why you’ve been in here all day. Cause Chrissy rejected you? Not our fight?” You needed a clear answer.

“Yeah. I mean part of it was because we fought, but only a small part, most being because of the kiss.” His eyes are on his lap, where he messes with the chunky rings adorning them. You place your hand over his, stopping th nervous tick.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. You’ll find someone else who doesn’t have a dickwad for a boyfriend and who loves you just as much as you do them and you’ll be happy. I promise,” Clearly you were talking about yourself but he didn’t need to know that. He gives you a smile and pulls you in for a hug, squeezing tightly.

“Thanks sweetheart. You always know what to say to cheer me up.”

“I’ll always be there for you Ed, you know that.” The two of you break apart, you missing the warmth of his body against yours all too much.

“Did I hear something about horror movies and milkshakes?” You laugh at his change in conversation.

“Yes you did. I went to Jay’s earlier to get your favorite, which I still don’t get ow you can drink a birthday cake milkshake but I still bought it.” You stand from his bed, extending your hand out to im, “Let’s get you out of here, watch some movies and eat a shit ton of unhealthy foods.”

Eddie takes your hand without even taking a second thought, letting you lull him to his couch in the other room. The two of you sit there for the rest of the night, watching movies, eating cookies and drinking milkshakes. Everything was back to normal, almost.

Your heart still beat for Eddie but you knew now that you couldn’t do anything to pursue it, knowing it would only confuse and hurt him more. So for now you would stay an arm's length away, letting him pull you in whatever direction he wanted, a smile plastered to your face the entire way.

Eddie Taglist: @ali-r3n @dixontardis @witchwolflea @micheledawn1975 @daydreaming-mood @idfwfeelings @adaydreamaway08 @preciousbumplingbee @rustboxstarr @plk-18 @teary-eyed-egg @needylilgal022 @exploding-bonbon @gagasbee @eddiemunsonsguitarpicc @aol19 @thatwitchyoucouldntburn-blog

You Belong With Me Taglist: @emma77645 @ch4rlie-blogs @lucyteennope @sidthedollface2 @f-me-reid @elvendria @amira0303 @comic-harley @futuristicbirdtraveler @eddiemunson95 @gemnetjournal @sakaur-i @bakugouswh0r3 @sunshineandwitchery @theonceandfuturewinchester @bibieddiesgf @harmfulb1tch @marsflys @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @daydreaming-mood @rach5ive @tlclick73 @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @plk-18 @dreamerjj @ceda1063 @eddiemunsonsguitarpic @suzy2872628 @idfwfeelings @fanfangying1304 @buckybarnescouldchokeme @4bigail @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @siouxiesiouxtryhard @urinternetmom @fuckmylifedudee @aol19

[lucygxybaird]

12 Days of Christmas - Day 7

You really should have seen this coming.

Your balance has never been good, as proven multiple times over the course of your childhood. 

You still have a small scar on your left knee from an accident suffered when you were learning to walk (why your parents let you toddle around on your gravel driveway, you still don’t understand). It took you nearly four months to learn to ride a bike, because you kept falling over every time your dad let go. After your mother enrolled you in a gymnastics class, as a result of you begging for months, she had to take you out again after you first lesson because the balance beam represented such a risk to your safety — and the safety of the other children — that she feared a lawsuit. 

Even as an adult, you can’t wear those fluffy slipper socks on stairs for fear of serious injury. 

So you really don’t know why you decided to volunteer to hang up the green-and-red streamers over the gymnasium door. Point of fact, you don’t know why you agreed to help decorate at all. You mean well, but you’re not crafty. Every stamp on the Christmas cards you sent out this year were crooked, for God’s sake.

Your only excuse is that you really, really want to fit in at this school. You’ve always wanted to be a teacher, and the high school in East Linfield seems like a good one. 

It certainly didn’t help your worries that you started so late in the year, because the previous teacher had moved with his husband to Palm Springs. The kids hadn’t even finished reading A Tale of Two Cities, and here you were trying to fuse your own lesson plan with the one they’d been working on. You were excited and frazzled and anxious all at once, a potent cocktail that meant you had your guard down. 

So when another woman in the English department asked if you were free tonight, because they really needed an extra hand decorating the gym for the Winter Snowball, you found yourself smiling and saying, “Sure! I’d love to help out.”

Which is how you find yourself balancing on your tiptoes, on the very top of a stepladder, and you’re so, so close to getting the tinsel where you need it to be. If you could just get it a little bit — you push yourself a smidge higher on your toes, your fingers brush the nail where you’re meant to drape it, and — 

There’s a very concerning creak, and you feel rather than see the stepladder slip out from under your feet as it collapses like a house of cards in a wind tunnel. You clutch uselessly, desperately, at the yard of tinsel in your hand as you fall backward, your arms windmilling like that’s going to help you in any way whatsoever.

Bang!

You wish that was the sound of the stepladder hitting the ground, but that flimsy thing couldn’t make so much noise if it was bounced around in a car trunk by a very tiny, very angry gorilla. No, in actuality, it’s the sound of your head smacking against the gym floor hard enough for you to see stars. Which is something you thought was a cliche, but it’s true. Points of light explode behind your eyes, one after the other, like silent fireworks.

When you open your eyes — not that you remember closing them — you see a face hovering over yours, and you realize you aren’t actually on the floor anymore. You’re being cradled in someone’s arms, propped up in their lap. It takes you a few moments to realize that the arms and the face bent over you, concern etched all over it, belong to the same person. 

Moments after this realization comes another one. 

You know this guy. 

“Alex,” you say fuzzily, and his anxious expression melts — momentarily — into a smile. 

“That’s right,” he says. “Yeah, I’m Alex. We met last week, remember?”

You do, if only because you’d thought then — as you do now — that he’s very, very cute. “I remember,” you assure him.

He smiles at you again. “Okay,” he says. “I’m gonna try to get you up now, alright? You ready?”

You nod.

“Okay,” he repeats. “Alright—!”

And then he scoops you up into his arms, standing up with a little grunt of effort, and you clutch at him like you’re holding onto a life preserver in the middle of the ocean. Both your stomach and your vision stage separate revolts, like they’re eighteenth century American colonists and French citizens, respectively. You clutch at Alex’s shoulders for a moment while he looks at you with increasing alarm. 

“Are you okay?” he says. “We should get you to the emergency room.”

Your stomach flips all over again at the thought of doctors, not to mention the astronomical bills you’ll have to pay. “No, no, I’m fine,” you assure him. “You can put me down now.”

“Oh—” It seems like he’s forgotten you’re even in his arms. “Oh, yeah, right, of course, sure.”

He sets you down, his hand still on the small of your back. By now, other people are starting to rush over, all of them looking concerned, although you think at least one of them — the woman who asked you to help, for one — might be more worried about how litigious you are than the state of your skull.

“I’m okay,” you tell all of them, a statement which immediately collapses as soon as you try to take a step forward.

The moment that you do, your knees buckle as a wave of dizziness washes over you. Multiple pairs of hands reach for you, but when you’re actually able to focus again, it’s Alex’s face that you see.

“I don’t think you’re okay,” he says, his tone so deadpan that you have to bite on your lower lip to keep from laughing. Maybe he mistakes this for a grimace of pain, because his eyebrows beetle down lower over his eyes as he frowns anxiously. “Really, I think you need to go to the hospital.”

Maybe it’s because you’re too dizzy — and increasingly nauseous — to think straight, or maybe it’s because Alex looks so endearingly concerned, as if you’re more than some coworker he only met a few days ago. As if he really cares. 

You cave.

“Okay,” you say. “Yeah, okay.”

Alex lets out a breath as you agree, not so much a sigh of relief as of resignation, as if now he’s gotten one item on his checklist done and he has to move on to another. “Come on,” he says, and he anchors an arm around your waist, supporting you as he leads you toward the gym doors.

From the corner of your eye, you see everyone else just standing there, looking bemused if not helpless. A few of them start drifting back to whatever tasks they were working on before you so elegantly displayed how graceful you are. They all seem perfectly happy to let Alex take care of you, but you can’t fault them for that.

You’re perfectly happy with it, too.

As Alex nudges the doors open with his shoulder, you say, “You’ll stay with me, right?”

The doors swing open to admit the two of you into the hall, and as they bang shut behind you, Alex pauses to look you right in the eye. “Yes,” he says. “Unless somebody with a stethoscope and a degree way beyond my capabilities tells me I can’t.”

You can’t help but smile, and when you do, his face softens again. While he’s looking at you like this, you really have no choice but to revisit the he’s very, very cute idea again. And very tall. Which you suppose isn’t saying much, since you stopped growing when you were around fourteen.

“Thank you,” you say softly.

He gives a little bow of his head, a movement that’s oddly formal but nonetheless absolutely adorable. “Of course.”

Alex helps you to his car, tucking you into the passenger seat. “Hold on,” he says, and lopes around to the trunk, which he unlocks — you wonder how old his car is — and then rummages around in.

He returns a few moments later with a first aid kit, which he balances on the dashboard in front of you before popping it open. After a few moments of semi-frantic rummaging, he pulls out a cold compress and gently cups the back of your head, laying the cold compress against the rising knot poking up near your left ear.

“What are you doing?” you mutter, as he takes your hand and puts it against the other end of the compress, before moving his own.

Alex jogs around the hood of the car and slides into the driver’s seat, starting the engine before he answers you. “It’s for the pain,” he says. “And to bring the swelling down.”

“Oh.”

He navigates out of the school parking lot and you tip your head back, pinning the cold compress between your throbbing skull and the headrest. 

You reach the center of town without incident, but then — 

“Oh my God,” Alex says, and you can’t help a snort-laugh (although you wish you could, because it makes your headache worse).

It’s as close to bumper-to-bumper traffic as a relatively small town is capable of exhibiting. Looking at the sea of cars stretching beyond the windshield, you let out a faint moan. Alex shoots you a worried look from the corner of his eye that you aren’t meant to see, but you do, so you bite your lip.

“Are you okay?” he says. “I mean, do you feel — I don’t know — queasy or anything? Or like you’re going to pass out?”

You consider this. “No,” you say. “My head just hurts. I’ve never had my had squeezed by the Hulk but I’m guessing it would feel pretty similar to this.”

Alex huffs out a laugh. 

“Don’t worry,” you tell him. “I don’t think I’m going to throw up in your car.”

“I’m not worried about that,” he says. “I’m worried about you.”

You smile, looking over at him. “You’re telling me  you wouldn’t absolutely freak out if I threw up in your car right now?”

The line of cars ahead of you moves forward a few precious feet, and Alex manages to weave his car ahead of a few others. He’s concentrating so much on this maneuver that he doesn’t respond to you at first, but then he admits, “Well…I’d try to keep my freaking out to myself as much as I could.”

“I appreciate that.”

It takes nearly half an hour for the hospital to come into view, and even then, it takes another fifteen to finagle a way into the parking lot. By the time Alex has actually found a spot and parked, you do in fact feel a little queasy.

The whole time, though, Alex keeps asking you questions, probably just trying to keep you awake (although you’re pretty sure you read somewhere the whole “concussed people shouldn’t be allowed to sleepthing” is a myth or something, but still). 

Where are you from?

You told him, and he says that he’s been there on a vacation with his best friend. You asked him what he liked best. He said the food, which made you laugh. “Did you go to this place called Justine’s? They have the best friend chicken in the world.”

No, he’d said, and you told him that the two of you would have to go back someday and you’d take him. The words had slipped out before you could stop yourself — this was the first full conversation you’d really had with him, and here you were offering to whisk him away — but Alex had only smiled at you. “That sounds nice,” he’d told you.

He asked you when you realized you wanted to teach — in the sixth grade, when you met an English teacher who encouraged you to write, and you never forgot that — and why you moved to Linfield. You said that it was far enough from home for you to have independence, but not so far that traveling back home would cost an arm and a leg.

You’re pretty sure he’d said, I’m glad you chose this place, but at that point you’d hit a speed bump and an invisible railroad spike had been driven into your skull. By the time Alex had finished apologizing, the moment had passed.

“Okay, here we are,” Alex says, pulling into a space. “Wait for me.”

He hops out and is about to slam his door before he takes a look at your face. Closing the door so carefully it could be made of porcelain, he hustles around the front of the car and opens your door for you, scooping his arm around your waist and helping you to your feet. 

“Almost there,” he says encouragingly, his tone suggesting you’re lagging in the final leg of a marathon.

He propels you through a pair of automatic doors and into the waiting room, which is — of course — packed, but fortunately not too packed that you can’t find two chairs together. Alex deposits you in one of them while he hurries to the front desk.

He returns a few moments later with a clipboard loaded with insurance forms, which he looks apologetic about. “I know this seems like a lot,” he says, waving the clipboard around, “but I’ll help you. I’ll write stuff down if you want.”

“Please,” you say.

So he sits next to you, his shoulder bracing yours, and writes down your answers in his careful printing. You smile. “You have really nice handwriting,” you say. “It looks like typography.”

Alex chuckles. “Thank you.”

When all the forms are finally done, you realize your head is on his shoulder. It feels very, very heavy, but you do your best. “Sorry,” you say.

To your surprise, Alex reaches over and puts his hand on your cheek, pushing your head back down. “It’s okay,” he says. “Leave it, if you’re comfortable.”

You are. His shoulder is broad and warm, and with your head nestled there, you catch the faint but distinctive scent of pine. “Okay,” you sigh.

Alex pats your knee gently. “Okay,” he agrees.

The two of you sit in (relative) silence, before you say, “Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? We barely know each other. You could have just as easily have dropped me off and gone back to your day.”

From the corner of your eye, you see him shake your head. “No,” he says simply. “I couldn’t have. It’s not how I am.”

It’s not the most verbose explanation, but you don’t need one. His words strike you cleanly and easily as true, as if someone has told you the sky is blue or water is wet. You don’t have to look out a window or dunk your head in a lake to know that. Alex just isn’t the sort of person who can turn his back on someone who needs him.

“Thank you, anyway,” you say. “I’m glad we’re getting to know each other, even if I might have lost a few brain cells in the process.”

He chuckles. “I don’t think that’s how that works,” he says. “But me too.”

“It’s okay,” you say. “It was probably just some math brain cells. I was never very god at that, anyway.” 

“Two plus two is?”

“Mmm — 22?”

“So close.”

Later, you try to blame it on the fact that your brains have been scrambled around in your skull like the little white flakes in a snow globe; a little while later still, you think it just felt right. It takes you a while to realize you’ve even done it, but eventually, you look down to discover that you’re holing Alex’s hand.

And not lightly, either, but with your palm nestled into his, your fingers laced together. You frown down at this, puzzled. “When did this happen?”

Alex glances down at your linked hands. “I don’t know,” he says, and gives a little shrug, the motion small enough not to jostle your head. “It’s okay.”

And then he squeezes your hand, running his thumb lightly over your knuckles in a way that indicates maybe it’s more than okay.

A voice calls your name, and you reluctantly pick your head up from Alex’s shoulder. “We’re ready for you,” a nurse is saying, and Alex helps you to your feet.

You hop up on the little table-bed thing with its crackly wax paper spread over the top, your feet swinging idly. You catch Alex muffling a smile into his collar, and you smile back at him just as a nurse steps into the room.

By the time you walk out of the doctor’s office, clutching a prescription for pain medication, Alex looks marginally more relaxed. “At least we know you’re okay,” he says, letting out a long breath. “Do you have anyone to check on you?”

“Check on me?” 

Alex nods. “You’re supposed to check on someone with a concussion to make sure they’re breathing normally,” he says.

You blanch. “Is that unlikely? That I’d be breathing normally?”

At once, consternation washes over Alex’s face. “No, no, no,” he says quickly. “No. It’s just…I mean, they say it’s okay to check on someone with a concussion, to make sure — you know — but — I mean, I guess…I’m — I feel like it’s better safe than sorry, and I don’t want…”

You smile, mostly to reassure him but also because it’s adorable, the way he’s babbling, trying to comfort you. “Alex, if you’re trying to invite yourself over, you can always just ask.”

He smiles back at you. “Can I come over?”

“Sure.” 

You direct him to your apartment, and he insists on helping you up the stairs, like you’re a feeble little grandma whose hip will shatter if she lifts her foot at the wrong angle. When you let the two of you into your apartment, Alex asks where your linen closet is.

“I’m not a middle-aged woman with a collection of needlepoint throw pillows,” you say. “I don’t have a linen closet.”

“Okay, so where you do you keep your extra blankets?”

You tell him you keep them in a storage ottoman at the foot of your bed, and he says, “Oh, a linen closet is too old for you, but a storage ottoman is the peak of youth culture?”

“Did you ask just to make fun of me?”

“No.” He nudges you toward your own couch. “Sit.”

So you do, and you turn on the TV, flipping through your streaming services until you just pick something and try to find a show or movie that you both might like. Which is difficult because you have no idea the sort of thing Alex likes to watch, so you settle on a docuseries about the Love Has Won cult. Doesn’t everybody find that fascinating? At least in the “can’t look away from a car wreck” kind of way?

You look up to find Alex carrying a couple of blankets and a pillow, all of which he tucks around you until you’re shaped rather like the Michelin man. He settles down beside you and raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t this the Mother God woman?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.” He wriggles his shoulders until he’s more comfortable beside you. “Interesting. Good pick.”

You find yourself smiling way bigger over that little sliver of approbation than you probably should.

When the show is over, the streaming service offers up similar choices, and you let Alex pick. It’s another multi-episode show, which takes you four hours further on, and then he lets you pick the next.

By the time that one is over, it’s pitch black outside, and you hesitate. “Don’t you have to get home?”

You don’t want him to leave.

“No,” he says. “My cat has an automatic feeder. She’ll be okay without me until morning. Actually, she’ll probably appreciate the solitude.”

“What’s her name?”

“Flannery O’Connor.”

You hum softly. After a moment of hesitation, you put your head back on his shoulder. “Well, she was wrong,” you say.

“Who?”

“Flannery. A good man isn’t hard to find.”

You think there’s a smile in his voice. “No?”

“No,” you say. “I found one right here.” 

The two of you sit in companionable silence for a moment, watching a former cult member detail how she had to change her name to Aurora and give up all her credit cards. After a few moments, Alex’s hand finds yours again.

“Do you have plans for New Year’s?” he asks quietly.

“No,” you say.

“Would you like some?”

You smile. “Yes.”

A pause, and then he says: “With me?”

You laugh. “Yes, Alex.”

His fingers tighten briefly around yours. “Good,” he says. 

You wonder if he’s thinking about the possibility of a New Year’s kiss. You certainly are. When you flit a glance up to Alex’s face, he’s already looking at you.

Judging by the look in his eyes, you don’t have to wonder if he’s thinking about kissing you at midnight on the last day of the year.

He definitely is. 

[tired-teacher-blog]

Characters : Tattoo artist Aizawa/ Florist fem reader

Featuring : Eri/ Hizashi Yamada/ Nemuri Kayama/ Oboro Shirakumo/ Emi Fukukado

Warnings and Genre : Fluff/ Romance/ Smut and Angst in future chapters/ Multi Chaptered Story

Summary : In a desperate attempt to get closer to the tattoo artist dominating every speck of your brain, you decide to pay him a visit one evening as a client seeking his service. This encounter will prove to be the beginning of something much bigger between you two, but will this new found passion be enough to stand against the difficulties your future holds?

Notes : Loosely inspired by this/ Art below is by the wonderful @/ael-draw who gifted me this gorgeous piece.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist|Third Masterlist

Chapter Count : Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11

_ "I was so excited today when dad told me you were coming!" little Eri squeals enthusiastically while holding your hand and jumping with every word.

_ "I wouldn't have missed it for the world, we'll have lots of fun right?" you respond with the same level of excitement before picking her up in your arms and twirling her around as lively giggles escaped you both.

_ "Alright don't move, stay like that for a moment." your boyfriend appears with his camera in hand, ready to snap yet another photo of the two of you.

It's a habit of his, capturing moments like this to keep as a memory, and printing them out to frame, and you've grown so used to it that sometimes you strike a pose without waiting for him to ask.

_ "Good job girls, you look beautiful," he smiles dotingly before tucking his camera away and joining you, "dinner is ready." he announces with a smile before planting a soft kiss on his daughter's cheek, and another on your lips, lingering a bit until hearing Eri's playful protests.

You can never explain or understand how, but moments like this, when you're together with them, talking, laughing, playing, without a care in the world, moments like this are what makes you the happiest, so if heaven ever existed, then this is yours.

_ "This tastes so good Shouta, you did wonderful." your eyes widen in surprise as you take your first bite.

_ "That's right dad! Good job." little Eri chimes in with an adorable little giggle lacing her words.

This is shaping up to be a wonderful evening that both you and your boyfriend desperatly needed, especially after the hell you've been in for weeks..

You needn't think of that right now, you will at least have a little peace of mind tonight.

The doorbell suddenly rings once, one loud ding that interrupts your happy chattering and gets you all snapping your heads up in surprise.

_ "I'll see who it is." your boyfriend announces with a smile before setting down his half empty glass of water and standing up to do just that.

Your eyes shift to little Eri who seems uninterested in the newcomer as she carried on with her meal, unlike you who are now wondering who it might be.

It's possible that this is one of his friends, he did take the day off -as did you- to spend it whole with both Eri and yourself, so maybe something happened at work that he needed to learn about.

_ "Oh hello."

That voice, it's strange, yet so familiar, who does it belong to? If only you had the guts to look up and see who's looming over you right now.

_ "So we meet again, flower girl."

There it is, the same condescending tone that's been hunting you for weeks, you know whose it is, but refuse to believe it.

_ "That's enough Emi!"

Only now did you finally lift your head up to see the furious look in your boyfriend's eyes as he glared at the same beautiful woman who visited you a few weeks ago, and whom you wished to never see again.

_ "H.. hi, nice to see you again." you hurriedly stand up and bow to the woman who doesn't reciprocate the gesture.

Her name catches your attention though, Emi.. you could swear you've heard it before, but can't for the life of you remember anything about it.

Aizawa pushes his way between the two of you and gently holds your hands, the frightening expression of earlier is now replaced with a soft one , and it makes you feel secure despite the situation, "would you please take Eri to her room? I'll explain everything later."

You do not question him, and simply nod in approval before extending your hand to a confused Eri, whose innocent eyes kept traveling between the three adults surrounding her..

_ "Aren't you going to ask?" you hear the smirk in her question even with your back facing them both, but you keep a steady step towards Eri's room because you know you weren't the one meant to respond.

Aizawa says nothing too, not before making sure you've disappeared behind Eri's door, and then you hear it:

_ "You tracked her down? What is it you want exactly?" his voice reaches you clearly, even though you aren't in the same room as them anymore.

He sounds furious and it's scary, where did your gentle boyfriend disappear? There is obviously so much you don't know about their past, and the realization is making you feel like a total stranger.

_ "You know exactly what I want so don't play dumb with me! You went ahead and got yourself a little plaything after I entrusted you with our daughter! How could you expose her to that?"

Of course, it's Eri's mother, that's why her name sounded familiar, it's because Shouta had told you about her before.

_ "What's going on? What does that woman want with dad?" Eri's sweet and worried voice brings you back to reality, it isn't the time for self-pity, because this clueless little girl who -by the looks of it- is unaware that she was in the presence of her mother only moments ago, is in need of some reassurance right now, and it's your job to provide.

_ "Oh this is just a grown-ups discussion, it's nothing to worry about sweetie I promise," you bend down to her level and smile through your lie before carrying on, "how about we watch a few more episodes of your favorite show? We can do it on my phone."

_ "Really?! Yes let's do it!" her attention immediately shifts towards the new topic as she starts jumping in excitement, and her innocence melts your heart.

You tuck her in bed and take a seat at the edge of it before handing her your phone and connecting it to her headset, she doesn't need to hear any of the arguments outside, you on the other hand, are understandably restless, but still keep your calm demeanor in front of her..

_ "You can see her whenever you want, I already told you this, but I will never give her up." he sounds more hurt than upset, and it breaks your heart to pieces.

_ "I just.. I don't want to lose either one of you again, Shouta please, can't you give me another chance? If not for me, then at least for our daughter's sake."

Another chance..

Her words felt like acid poured in your ears, and you cannot bring yourself to hear his response.

You press your hands to your ears as your mind turned into a tangled mess, what if he says yes? It would be perfect for all of them actually, especially for little Eri who would finally have her mom around like she deserves, but where would that leave you?

You glance at the sweet girl leaning her head on your shoulder, and wonder if it's your place to be in her room right now when her mother isn't, maybe it was never your place to begin with, you have been longing for somewhere to belong and someone to love until you met him, and it felt perfect, too good to be true in fact, but maybe that's just what it is.. too good to be true.

If there is a way for them to be happy together, then what gives you the right to selfishly take it away?

_ "Hey, did you hear me?" a gentle tap on your arm brings you to your senses, and it's him, smiling sweetly like he always does, but for some reason, this same smile that usually warms up your heart, is now filling you with nothing but dread.

_ "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you walk in," you force out a chuckle and turn to check on Eri, only to find her already deep in slumber, "oh look, she's already asleep."

How long have you been out of it anyway? Apparently long enough for Eri to doze off and for your boyfriend to come in unnoticed.

_ "She is," his gaze lingers on the little angel's sprawled frame before shifting to you, "listen, I'm sorry about what happened out there, it's.."

_ "What? No it was nothing, come on," you avoid his eyes and fix Eri's pillow before planting a gentle peck on her temple and taking your phone back, "I just hope everything goes well, so just do whatever's good for Eri."

He doesn't reply, a blank expression on his face as he watches you approaching, and you can almost see the wheels turning in his head.

You grab onto his shirt and lean closer to capture his lips, and he freezes for a second before melting into the kiss..

_ "Shouta, I'll be here for as long as you'll have me." you had to say those words, even if you're certain that your time together is nearing its end, you -at least- want him to know how much he means to you.

He smiles wearily as his eyes bored into yours, he seems exhausted and clearly reluctant to talk so you don't push it, and instead prepare to leave so he would have a chance to think things over, but he stops you in your tracks with a pleading look on his face before leaning his head on your shoulder.

_ "Please don't go.." is what he heavily breathes out while clutching onto your arms.

Of course you'll stay and be the pillar he desperatly needs, because who knows, maybe this would be the last time you'll have the chance..

To be continued..

[lawyerbelal]

Hello, thank you for taking the time to visit my GoFundMe campaign. My name is Belal, I am a 29-year-oldhuman rights lawyer from the northern area of Gaza. I lived a happy and meaningful life with my wife and my family until everything changed onOctober 7.

This is our story:

My life was just getting started. I graduated law school in 2021 and got married to my beautiful wife in 2022. I’d been working on building my house since 2019, and finally I finished it onNovember 24, 2022. Just before the beginning of this terrible war, onSeptember 1, 2023, I finally achieved my lifelong dream of starting my own law firm. It’s very difficult to open a law office here in Gaza, so there are very few other people who have been able to achieve this at my age. Opening my law firm was one of the proudest moments of my life. I worked extremely hard for everything I had. Although I knew that the odds of achieving my dreams were slim, I never let this stop me. In the moments where I wanted to give up, I drew strength from God and from my love for my community, my love for Gaza.

My house was destroyed on October 13 –– our beautiful moments, our memories, and all our precious belongings were all gone with it. My law firm was also destroyed that week. Everything I had worked so hard for throughout my entire life, gone in an instant.We’ve been displaced 5 times in 5 different homes, and now our “home” is a tent that houses 15 people. We were forced to travel from the very north of Gaza to the southernmost area. We risked our lives every time we were forced to flee, as bombs and missiles rained down on us, destroying our neighborhoods and taking thousands of lives. Somehow, alhamdulillah, each time we miraculously escaped death as we searched for life without knowing what would happen to us the next day.

Our displacement journey began, moving several times from one area to another, until we ended up in a tent in the “Tal al-Sultan” area in the city of “Rafah.” You can imagine how difficult life is in a tent. Everything is done with great difficulty. We are forced to use primitive methods to carry out daily tasks. Every day we make fires to prepare food, and struggle to provide water to drink or bathe. Going to the bathroom is a struggle in itself for adults rather than children, in the absence of toilets suitable for human use.

The situation worsens with the advent of summer and rising temperatures. The tent literally turns into a “sauna” during the day, and we suffer from pollution,influenza, and other serious diseases that lead tohepatitis. On top of that,I lost my private office that I had established just a month before the war and my job. I was working as alawyer and legal advisor for many local and internationalinstitutions and became unemployed due to a complete power outage and lack of Internet connection most of the time. I am facing great difficulty in providing for my family's needs amidst the crazy rise in prices. We have suffered enough and been subjected to a lot of fear and panic over the past seven months. The city of Rafah is now threatened by a ground invasion at any moment by the occupation, so I decided to travel and leave Gaza.

Despite how much I love the place that will always be my home, the genocidal war has left nothing for us. I struggle every day to provide for my basic needs because of the huge rise in prices. My wife and I often do not know where our next meal will come from. We have no access to proper medical care. It pains me to say that I am living the worst days of my life. It’s one nightmare after another. There is no life here and I fear I will die if I can’t leave. I lost a brother of mine a while ago, I lost my home, my law firm, and everything I worked so hard for. I don’t want to lose anything else.

Your donations will help my wife and I escape certain death in Gaza by traveling to Egypt. We will then figure out where we can go next to continue our lives, we will go to any country that will take us. After the immense weight of having seen so much death and lost so much, we want to start a new chapter in our lives. Wherever we go, I will continue to do my life’s work of defending human rights and seeking justice for all people. We know we deserve a better life, and we are endlessly grateful for any support you can provide to help us get to this goal.

Thank you for your generosity, kindness, and support..

.

[glorious-blackout]

Milex/TLSP/AM Fic Recs 💖

I was inspired by @puzzlebeanficrecs' recent posts to share some of my all-time favourite fics in this wonderful fandom. This is by no means an exhaustive list as the sheer number of amazing works I've read by incredible writers over the past couple of years is too many to count, but here are some fics that I keep going back to time and time again 🥰

1) Somewhere Darker by @elorianna

Alex hasn't slept properly for weeks. His days are plagued with writer's block, and his nights are haunted by strange and frightening dreams. Progress on the second Puppets album has all but ground to a halt.

Miles is haunted too, by the nights that he and Alex have shared, and the boundaries that they've crossed. Now, he's caught in a game of pretence which neither one of them seems destined to win.

But all is not as it appears, and when a working break away from LA turns into a strange misadventure, Alex and Miles must each decide where their real priorities lie, and how much they're willing to risk in order to attain their hearts' desires.

Will they find a way to repair their fragmented relationship? Or will they remain trapped in a nightmare from which neither one of them can ever wake up...?

One of my favourite fics ever and I cannot recommend the sequel 'Baby, He Can Find You' highly enough if you haven't read it yet!

2) All's Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You) by @yellowloid

Asking Miles to marry him is something Alex has been wanting to do for far too long now. After months of meticulous planning, the day has finally come ‒ and yes, maybe he's a bit nervous, but he's firm in his decision, and he can't wait to just get down on one knee and pop the question. Nothing ‒ nothing ‒ is going to get in his way.

The universe begs to differ.

This entire series is so beautifully written, but this particular fic owns my heart. Such a perfect balance between angst and warm fluff.

3) under these lights you look beautiful by @alexturne

Miles got completely lost in his voice. There was a faraway quality to it, like he belonged somewhere else entirely, but somehow had decided to grace them with his presence and Miles felt blessed to be near him if even for a short while. The subtle elegance hidden in his slender figure, the mannerisms of his fingers wrapped around the corners of his notebook. His words were spoken softly, quietly, but without any hesitation or faltering.

Alex is an elusive poet, who has a way with words and Miles is a bartender, who is completely mesmerized.

The queen of beautiful, heartfelt AUs! Every story of hers is like an escape into a warm hug, but this may be her magnum opus.

4) you cannot turn away (but nice try) by @kisameanslight

Alex Turner thought he got over the love of his life, but then they run into each other again a decade later. Whether they’ll be able to let the past go or not, only time will tell.

I have such fond memories of following this story as it came out and being kept on the edge of my seat with each new update. Her Vampire AU 'c'est horrifique!' is equally incredible 💖

5) The 'Amerlie' Series by @lanatural-books

Welcome to the universe of Amerlie.

All parts intertwine and should take you on an interesting adventure.

I can't begin to pick a favourite entry in this series so I'll simply recommend the whole thing. Such an exquisitely written, cosy love story between our favourite two idiots.

6) Joie de Vivre by @gasdancer

"Two young men decamp to rural France to make an album together. It ~is like love."

Possibly the best Baby Puppets fic/series ever written (and there's a lot of competition for that title). I have such a weakness for stories set in France during the recording of TAOTU so of course this series owns my heart.

7) Last night, what we talked about... by @rock-n-roll-fantasy

... it made so much sense... This little story came into being because of three obvious prerequisites: 1. Baby Monkeys were the cutest band in the world 2. Especially Baby Alex 3. Indie bands get drunk from time to time -> Conclusion: At least once, Baby Alex must have got too tipsy to walk back to the tourbus, so his equally tipsy friends had to take care of him. Further conclusion: It must have been very adorable :)

Not Milex, but just pure Baby Monkeys sweetness distilled into one adorably written fic. I'm in love 🥰

There are so many more fics that I love and wish I could mention but I'd probably be here all day. Feel free to add your own fic recs and share your favourite works in the fandom - I'd love to hear about them 💖

[kookie-doughs]

Again And Again

Portgas D Ace X Reader

-Amatsuki Y/N decided to stay in the future without her sister upon meeting a friend’s son.

Chapter 6: A Mother To The Sea

As you ventured on your own, having only Ace's vivre card as your guide, a sense of unease began to gnaw at you.

You'd think a vivre card would be the only thing you'd need as where else could it lead you other than him? After all the vivre card was meant to serve as a lifeline, connecting you to Ace's location, but the vastness of the world and the unpredictability of the sea made them doubt this decision.

As days turned into weeks, you traversed the Grand Line, chasing the faint pull of the vivre card. But the journey proved difficult and filled with dangers you hadn't anticipated. The vivre card served as a reminder of your determination, but it also brought with it the burden of responsibility.

With each setback and obstacle, doubts grew in your mind. You realized that chasing after Ace with just the vivre card was a reckless and impulsive decision. The journey was taking its toll on your emotional and mental strength.

"Why did I think this was a good idea?" You muttered to yourself, frustration lacing your voice. "Ace is out there somewhere, and I'm just blindly following this little piece of paper."

You stopped to catch your breath on a deserted island, staring at the vivre card in your hand.

It felt like a lifeline, but also a chain, tethering you to a dangerous pursuit. Doubts and fears swirled in your mind, and you began to question whether you were truly capable of fulfilling your self-imposed mission.

Do you have anything to go by in your pursuit after him aside from this paper?

You stare blankly racking your mind for anything that could help you find him. Every memory you could dig up that could lead you to him. You went back to your travel.

As the days went on, the vivre card's pull grew weaker. Exhausted and disheartened, you collapsed on the deck of your boat, feeling lost and alone.

"I don't know what I'm doing," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not strong enough to protect him, and I'm just making a mess of everything."

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you held the vivre card tightly. "I miss you... Just where the hell are you?"

As if the world had pitied you a news coo flies over to you. Grabbing a copy of the latest paper, the bird flies away.

Going through the papers a light of hope shined through. How could you have forgotten? As your concern for Ace consumed your thoughts, you inadvertently overlooked a crucial element that could have expedited your task.

Luffy.

If there was anywhere Ace would go to start his hunt, he'd meet his brother first.

Ace had been pretty sure that Luffy would go through Drum Island and Alabasta, but it had been a while, and they could be long gone. Still, it was the only lead you had, so you couldn't just ignore it.

Alabasta was the best option you have. If they aren't there by the time you arrive, a potential place to pay a visit to would be Water 7.

~

Your arrival to Alabasta took a while as there was numerous islands around.

Roaming the kingdom was an easy feat. Citizens were walking elated still in celebration. Figuring the best place to get answers was by visiting the one in charge you made your way to the royal palace.

As you approached the palace gates, the guards looked at you with curiosity. "State your business," one of them said, eyeing you cautiously.

"I'm here to seek an audience with whoever I can," you replied, trying to sound as composed as possible despite the excitement and worry swirling inside you.

The guards exchanged glances, seemingly surprised by your request. "May we ask who you are and why you wish to seek audience?" the other guard inquired.

"I'm looking for the Straw Hat Pirates? I need to find them."

The guards seemed taken aback by your revelation, but after a moment, a voice behind them called. The voice belonged to a fine a young woman with long wavy light blue hair, you immediately recognize as the Princess Vivi.

Upon seeing you, Vivi smiled warmly. "Greetings," she said, her voice gentle and welcoming. "I heard you're looking for the Straw Hat Pirates?"

You nodded, relieved to have found someone who might be able to provide some answers. "Yes, that's right. I came to Alabasta in hopes of finding them."

Vivi's expression softened with understanding. "Oh they've already left. They were here perhaps a week ago," she confirmed. "May I ask why you're looking for them?"

"There's a man I'm looking for. He said they'd be here so he had to come here. He has dark hair, freckle-"

"Are you perhaps looking for the Whitebeard Pirates' Fire Fist?"

You nod eagerly. Why had you bothered explaining Ace... he was famous. "Yes! I need to find Ace! Was he here?!"

"Yes, he joined us for a few minutes to see Luffy-san and give his vivre card. I'm afraid he left long before the Straw Hats did..."

"Do you know where he was headed next?" you asked, trying to contain the urgency in your voice.

Vivi hesitated for a moment before answering. "I'm afraid I don't," she said. "He left without telling us his destination. All he said was he was after a dangerous man."

Despite not getting the exact information you sought, you felt grateful for Vivi's willingness to help. "Thank you for your assistance," you said sincerely. "I'll continue my search, and I won't stop until I find Ace."

Vivi smiled warmly, her empathy evident in her eyes. "I wish you the best of luck," she said. "And I hope you find your friend soon."

With a nod of gratitude, you turned to leave the royal palace, your mind racing with thoughts and plans. The search for Ace continued, and you knew that you would do whatever it took to find him.

After learning that Ace had already been in touch with the Straw Hat Pirates, you abandoned your initial plan to find him through them. Now, you were left with only his vivre card as your sole lead to track him down once again.

Weeks once again pass as you slowly fell into despair, the weight of not getting any leads on Ace becoming almost unbearable, your heart skipped a beat when your Den Den Mushi suddenly rang, signaling an incoming call. Your hands trembled as you answered the call, and a familiar voice greeted you on the other end.

"Hey, it's Marco," he said, his voice calm yet concerned. "I heard you're still looking for Ace. How are you holding up?"

"Its not going well. His brother was the only way I could think off... But they already met so I'm back to following his vivre card... I went to so many islands. Even once that I know Teach went to. I couldn't find either of them..."

"But hey, you need to stop worrying so much. Its not healthy. You know what, did you know Shanks visited. It was a while ago."

"Oh, really?" you replied, trying to sound less anxious.

"Yeah, Shanks dropped by to catch up," Marco said, his voice relaxed. "He was looking for you."

As you listened to Marco talk about Shanks and reminisce about your former crew, your mind began to drift back to the days when you sailed together. Memories of those adventures and the bond you shared with Roger and the rest of the crew flooded your thoughts.

But among those fond recollections, there was also a tinge of sadness. The thought of Roger had of course been accompanied by the thoughts of his demise. You couldn't help but think about Ace, and as to why you were desperately trying to find. The thought of him being out there, recklessly going to who knows where.

As the conversation with Marco continued, you tried to push away the worry and uncertainty about Ace's whereabouts. You knew he was only trying to calm you down. To ease you. The entire crew must be more worried about you than Ace.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine worry.

You took a moment to compose yourself before responding, "Yeah, just got lost in thought for a moment."

"It's natural to miss the good times," Marco said, his understanding tone coming through even through the Den Den Mushi. "But don't let it overwhelm you. We'll find Ace, I promise."

You appreciated his reassurance, even if he wasn't by your side. "Thanks," you said softly. "I just... can't help but worry."

"I know," Marco said, his voice unwavering. "But we're in this together. And we won't stop until we find him."

His words resonated with you, reigniting the determination within you. As the conversation with Marco continued, you tried to focus on the conversation. Although thoughts of Ace still lingered, you held onto the belief that you would find him again and fate will bring you back together.

"You know, you could just wait for him at Sabaody. Assuming he hasn't fought Teach. He'd definitely be there." Marco says after noticing that you were still too preoccupied.

"Do you think he'll be there?"

"He wouldn't miss out on the attractions there." He laughs. "Just keep watch of the vivre card and its going to be easy."

As he mentioned the vivre card, your eyes fell upon it, and you noticed something unusual. "Wait, Marco," you said, a hint of urgency in your voice, "there's something happening to the vivre card."

"What do you mean?" Marco asked, concern creeping into his tone.

As you looked down on Ace's vivre card, realization washed over you. It was something you had been dreading. A burn mark is appearing on it. And you knew what it meant.

The vivre card wasn't just reacting to Ace's distress; it was a sign of danger, a signal that something grave was happening to him.

"Y/N?! What's wrong?! Pops!! Someone check on Ace's vivre!!" He was ordering behind the Den Den.

As the burn mark on Ace's vivre card became more pronounced, you were filled with a sense of dread and helplessness. You could feel the urgency in your heart, but there was nothing you could do except watch the vivre card in your hands, the burn mirroring the turmoil in your mind.

Behind Marco you could hear some panic.

"Guys, stay calm," Marco called out to the crew, trying to steady his own nerves as he spoke. "We can't lose our heads now."

Despite his own worry, Marco tried to be the pillar of strength you needed. He knew that panicking wouldn't help the situation, and he wanted to assure you that you weren't alone in this.

"We'll figure this out," he continued, his voice firm. "We've faced tough situations before, and we've always come through. This is no different."

He could hear the tremor in your voice as you replied, "W-What could've happened... I- I can't-- I need to find Ace."

"Y/N, don't do anything rash please!" You hear Marco ask before you drop the call.

With no clear direction in mind, you knew that if there was any place that could provide answers about Ace's situation, it had to be Sabaody Archipelago.

You just hope, that you could get something.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Taglist?

@nykie-love-anime @gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @cinnamonrollscafe @sol-d15

[scarisd3ad]

Jump then fall | Steve harrington x fem!hopper!reader

Prologue - seven

Masterlist

Taglist

>>Next

Summary - ‘And though I can’t recall your face I still got love for you, your braids like a pattern love you to the moon and to Saturn’

Warnings - loss of a sibling, divorce, fighting, cursing

"I'm gonna miss you," Steve mumbled into my shoulder as his little arms wrapped around my body. "Me too," I whispered back. I didn't want to move. I was well adjusted in our little town, I had my friends, I was just getting used to kindergarten, and I had Steve Harrington. my best friend and next-door neighbor who I did not want to leave behind, but dad got a new and better job in New York, so we had to pack up all our belongings and move from the tiny town of Hawkins to the big city. "can't you stay with me? We have enough room. "I shook my head "My daddy would be sad if I didn't go with them," I whispered back before they pulled away and placed me in my car seat. I was gone for good.

It wasn't like Steve, and I didn't stay in contact for those 7 years I lived in New York. it started with letters and drawings being mailed back and forth and then calls every Tuesday and Thursday night after school. But then we got older, and those letters and calls had farther and farther days between them. Then when Sara got sick, I shut down. I didn't send any letters or call him for months. After Sara died, my parents grew distant not only with each other but with me too, so I sent a letter to the one person who knew me better than my parents, Steve Harrington.

Dear Stevie,

I'm sorry I haven't called or sent any letters. I've been busy with school and other things, you know. I miss you. I hope I can come and visit you soon. My dad said we might go back to Hawkins to visit during the summer. Maybe we could have a sleepover if we do. Maybe we can call whenever you get this? I can fill you in on everything that's happened. Anyway, how's school??? I started this new book club at school and it's so fun!!!! I know you'd probably call me a nerd for it is, but it's really cool, and the people are nice too. I also made this new friend. Her name is Hannah she's so cool! She's an eighth grader!!!

Are you still playing basketball? If so, I wish I could see you play. Maybe you could play for me if I visit this summer! Dad said I could walk to your house every day if we did. I miss you and I hope we can call soon; I really need to talk to you about something that cannot!!! be disclosed over letter I need to like actually talk about it you know? I haven't really talked to anyone about it, and I need to or I'm gonna burst. Also, I'm sending these cool stickers that I got at a coffee shop here. I thought you'd like them. They're basketballs! Anyway, again I miss you a lot and can't wait to talk to you again.

- love y/n

(P.S. sorry again for not sending any letter)

I didn't get a letter back, nor did we visit that summer. Instead, that summer my parents divorced, and my mother decided she no longer wanted to be a mother, so my father and I moved into a crappy apartment in Brooklyn while the divorce took place. Luckily, that fall, the divorce was finalized. My mother gave up all parental rights legally, giving all custody to my father, and we moved back to Hawkins.

A week before 7th grade started my father, and I moved into a 2-bedroom house 3 streets away from Steve's. the first 2 days were full of moving boxes and decorating my new room so on the 3rd day I walked over to Steves with a plate of freshly baked cookies in clasped in my hands. During the seven years Steve and I sent letters back and forth, he always hoped he'd be able to try my baking, which was a skill I learned during 5th grade.

I grasped the plate in one hand as the other reached up to knock at the door. There weren't any cars in the driveway, but his bedroom light was on, which made me assume he was home. But after 30 seconds I didn't hear a 'I'm coming' or hurried footsteps. I was starting to doubt my intuition. Maybe he had just forgotten to turn off his bedroom light. Despite my doubts, I knock again, this time a bit harder. Then I heard a loud groan from inside before the door swung open."Wh-holy-y/n?" the annoyed look on his face immediately morphed into shock.

"You didn't respond" I giggled with a smile, "I-I guess it got lost in the mail" he whispered before launching himself into me. His arms wrapped around my body, and he pulled me close. The cookies were still clasped in my hand. I hoped the foil would be enough to keep them on the plate. "Wait, wait, wait" Steve pulls away so we're making eye contact. "You came all the way here just because I didn't send a letter back" his brows twist into a confused furrow as I laugh "No Stevie, we moved back" his face stays confused as he asks "Why" It was a long story, and not one to be told on the front steps of his house. "Long story. I'll tell you later. Can I come inside?"

"Yeah, yeah"

-

Steve and I sat on his bedroom floor that afternoon munching on cookies as I told him everything. I cried a lot; I hadn't cried about anything in the last four months. But with Steve, it just seemed like everything just came pouring out. Even though the last time I saw him, we were both 4 feet tall and missing teeth, it just seemed to click with him even after all these years. "Sarah got sick," I started with as Steve took a bite out of his cookie. "Oh...is she alright?" he asked voice laced with concern as his right hand reached over to grab my hand. 

I shook my head as tears pooled in my eyes, "N-no um she's-she's gone Stevie" Steve was silent as his hand squeezed mine. I'd never talked about Sarah or her death to anyone, not my mother, not my father, hell I didn't even talk to the therapist they took me to when I didn't want to talk to them. This was the first time I even uttered the words 'she's gone' It was like I was in denial, like if I never said the words, it would all reverse itself and I'd have my sister back. "a-and my parents we're fighting a lot, so they got divorced" tears began to trickle down my cheeks as I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears. "And my mom she-she said she never wanted to be a mom, so-so she left."

That afternoon, while Steve's arms embraced me and sobs shook my body, I came to a shocking realization. The realization hit me hard that maybe listening to Steve's voice over the phone for the past seven years, and reading his letters he always signed off with 'I love you - Steve Harrington', might have done something to me. Something to my changing adolescent brain that would have altered our friendship for good. Maybe it was for the best that the week after winter break, Steve Harrington became one of the most popular boys in school and subsequently decided to no longer be my friend.

Taglist

@sheisjoeschateau @nothankyou138 @gleefulleve @luluw-20

[writesaboutdragons]

365 Promises of God

Day 350 – You Shall Not Fulfil the Lust of the Flesh

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. (Gal 5:16 NKJV)

Read: Galatians 5:16-25

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times. You know?

It seems that in the US, there’s never been a better time to be a Christian, and there’s never been a better place to be one, either, than here in the good old USA. Because the bible is available at your fingertips, for most of us here, available via the internet at places like BlueLetterBible and BibleGateway. Countless devotionals, podcasts and spiritual guidance is available 24/7. Audiobooks, eBooks, and paperback books choke the market with help for any Christian on any subject you could imagine. Online services are available for almost any church, so even if you are home sick you can still attend a live videocast of your own local church service. You can also use any of a hundred different social media platforms to connect online with fellow Christians, find posts like these, give and get encouragement, and spin up prayer chains or ask for help when you or a loved one are in need.

But it’s also the worst of times, too. You see, all of those social media outlets can promote gossip. They can enable you to spread or listen to lies. They can prompt dissatisfaction about your current way of life, your belongings, your spouse, or your kids. You can easily purchase anything your heart desires, on credit, amassing so much debt from the palm of your hand that you will never dig your way out. Fantastic mesmerizing games can entertain you for hours, days, weeks, to the exclusion of more important things like worship, prayer, bible reading, or even taking care of your family or eating. You can please your baser lusts as well in almost all of those channels, and on TV, billboards and magazines as well. In fact, it’s so hard to AVOID things you SHOULDN’T look at that to protect your families you have to erect filters on the computers, phones, routers, and game systems, and keep certain cable channels out of your subscription, and just make a family pact, perhaps, to not go to certain movies.

This passage in Galatians 5 makes it pretty clear that the people who pursue these lusts of the flesh aren’t going to heaven. So who can be saved? Because we’ve all had our moments of weakness. Well, the answer is that the people who walk by the Spirit will inherit the kingdom, and NOT fulfill the lust of the flesh. This promise is there for the taking, if you are a Christian, but it requires something from US. We have to decide to do the right thing. The Spirit is there inside us, and every day we must choose who sits on the throne. The Spirit of the Living God, or the almighty ID of our self-will.

Prayer:

Lord, may I let your Spirit rul in me, today. Amen

[yourmomsawh0r3]

Crossroads ch.7

Javier pena x female single mom reader

The golden light of late afternoon filtered through the windows of Y/N’s cozy living room, casting a warm glow over the space. Elle was sprawled on the floor, coloring in her favorite coloring book, while Y/N sat on the couch, her feet propped up and her mind racing with an idea that had been forming for weeks.

Javier’s lease was coming up on his house, and Y/N had been toying with the notion of asking him to move in with them. They were already so intertwined in each other’s lives, spending most nights together and growing even closer with the impending arrival of their baby. It just made sense to take this next step, but she wanted to approach it in the right way.

Y/N glanced at Javier, who was sitting at the kitchen table, going over some work on his laptop. She took a deep breath, deciding it was now or never. She walked over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Javi. Do you have a minute?” she asked, her voice soft but steady.

Javier looked up from his screen, smiling as he took her hand and pulled her to sit on his lap. “Always, mi amor. What’s on your mind?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “Well, I’ve been thinking… your lease is coming up soon, and I know you’ve been considering what to do next. I was wondering if you might want to… move in with us?”

Javier’s eyes widened in surprise, and then his face broke into a wide, joyful grin. “Are you serious?”

Y/N nodded, her heart pounding. “Yes, I am. We’re already so much a part of each other’s lives, and with the baby coming, it just feels right. I love you, Javi. I want us to be a family in every sense.”

Javier’s expression softened, and he cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks. “I love you too, Y/N. More than anything. And I would be honored to move in with you and Elle. There’s nothing I want more than to be here with you both, every day.”

Elle, hearing their conversation, looked up from her coloring book and grinned. “Does that mean Javi is going to live with us all the time?”

Y/N and Javier both laughed, and Y/N nodded. “Yes, peanut. Javier is going to move in with us. How do you feel about that?”

Elle jumped up and down with excitement. “Yay! I love that idea! We can play together every day, and he can read me stories every night!”

Javier scooped Elle into his arms, hugging her tightly. “I can’t wait for that, princess. We’re going to have so much fun.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the logistics of moving, making plans, and sharing their excitement. Y/N felt a sense of peace and happiness settle over her. This was the beginning of a beautiful new chapter in their lives.

As the sun set, casting a warm, rosy glow over their home, Y/N, Javier, and Elle sat on the couch, cuddled up together. They talked about their hopes and dreams for the future, their laughter filling the room.

A few weeks later, moving day arrived. Javier had packed up his things, and with the help of a few friends, they managed to get everything loaded into a truck. Y/N had prepared the house for Javier’s arrival, making space for his belongings.

Elle was buzzing with excitement, darting around the house and helping in any way she could. “Where should we put this, Mommy?” she asked, holding up one of Javier’s framed photos.

Y/N smiled, taking the photo from her. “How about we put it on the mantel, next to our family photos?”

Elle nodded enthusiastically. “That’s perfect!”

Javier walked in, carrying a box labeled “Kitchen.” He set it down and wiped his forehead. “This is the last one. We did it!”

Y/N wrapped her arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Welcome home, Javi.”

Javier hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Y/N. This feels so right.”

By evening, the house was filled with the cozy chaos of a family settling in together.

That evening, Y/N decided to celebrate their new beginning with a special family dinner. She cooked Javier’s favorite meal chicken enchiladas and set the table with candles and flowers. Javier, who had been helping Elle set up her toys in the living room, walked into the kitchen and smiled at the sight.

“This looks amazing, mi amor,” he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

Y/N leaned back into his embrace. “I wanted to make tonight special. It’s our first dinner together in our home.”

Javier kissed her cheek. “Every day with you is special, Y/N.”

They called Elle to the table, and the three of them sat down to eat. The room was filled with laughter and conversation, and Y/N felt a deep sense of contentment. They were building a life together, creating a home filled with love and happiness.

After dinner, they moved to the living room for dessert—ice cream sundaes, Elle’s favorite. They piled on the toppings, making a delightful mess. Elle giggled as Javier put a cherry on top of her sundae.

“This is the best day ever!” she declared, her face smeared with chocolate sauce.

Y/N laughed, her heart full. “I’m glad you’re happy, peanut.”

As they finished their sundaes, Y/N glanced at the clock. “It’s getting late, sweetie. Time to get ready for bed.”

Elle pouted but didn’t argue. She was clearly tired from all the excitement. Y/N and Javier took her upstairs, helping her brush her teeth and get into her pajamas.

Elle whined that she wanted Javier to read her a story before bed. Javier chuckled and willingly accepted. He chose one of his favorites, "The Little Engine That Could," and read with enthusiasm, making all the voices and sound effects. Elle’s eyes sparkled with delight as she listened, her head resting against his arm.

When the story ended, Y/N and Javier tucked Elle in and kissed her goodnight. “Sleep tight, princess,” Javier whispered.

“Goodnight, Mommy. Goodnight, Javi,” Elle murmured, already drifting off.

Back downstairs, Y/N went to pop some popcorn. “How about we celebrate our first night with a Suits marathon?” she suggested, smiling at Javier.

“That sounds perfect,” Javier agreed, setting up the TV.

They ended up eating two bowls of popcorn and indulging in some ice cream, binge-watching the entire season of Suits. Wrapped up in each other’s arms on the couch, they felt a deep sense of contentment.

“This is our life now,” Y/N said softly, looking up at Javier. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

Javier kissed her forehead. “Me neither, mi amor. This is just the beginning.”

As they drifted off to sleep, wrapped up together on the couch, they knew that no matter what the future held, they would face it together, as a family.

The sun shone brightly over the small suburban neighborhood where Y/N, Elle, and Javier lived. It was the weekend, and Javier had the day off. Y/N decided it was the perfect day for a family outing to the local park. She packed a picnic basket with sandwiches, fruits, and Elle’s favorite snacks, while Javier helped Elle get ready.

“Javier, can I bring my new friend with us?” Elle asked, holding up a plush bunny she had received as a gift from Javier.

Javier chuckled and ruffled her hair. “Of course, princess. We wouldn’t want Mr. Bunny to miss out on the fun.”

Y/N smiled at the sweet interaction, feeling her heart swell with love for both of them. She finished packing the picnic basket and called out, “Alright, team. Ready to go?”

Elle cheered, “Ready!” and Javier gave a thumbs-up.

They arrived at the park and found a nice, shady spot under a large oak tree. Elle immediately ran towards the playground, her laughter echoing through the park. Javier and Y/N spread out a blanket and set up the picnic.

As they watched Elle play, Y/N leaned against Javier, feeling the warmth of the sun and the comfort of his presence. “This is perfect,” she murmured.

Javier wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “It really is. I love seeing you both so happy.”

They spent the morning playing games, running around with Elle, and enjoying the beautiful weather. Javier even joined in on the slides and swings, much to Elle’s delight.

“Look, Mommy! Look, Javi!” Elle called out as she swung high into the air.

“You’re doing great, peanut!” Y/N cheered, snapping a picture of the moment.

When they finally settled down for lunch, Elle sat between Javier and Y/N, munching on her sandwich and telling them all about her adventures on the playground.

“Javi, can we come here every weekend?” she asked, her eyes shining with hope.

Javier smiled and nodded. “We can certainly try, sweetheart. I love spending time with you and your mom.”

Y/N kissed Elle’s cheek. “We’ll make it a family tradition.”

After lunch, they took a leisurely stroll around the park, Elle skipping ahead and picking flowers along the way. Javier took Y/N’s hand, their fingers intertwining naturally.

“You know,” Javier said softly, “I never imagined I’d be so happy. You and Elle have changed my life.”

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes glistening with emotion. “We’re a family now, Javi. And I’m so grateful for you.”

They shared a tender kiss, the world around them fading away. elle ran back and hugged them both tightly.

“I love you, Mommy. I love you, Javi,” she said, her voice filled with pure innocence and joy.

“We love you too, princess,” they replied in unison, their hearts full.

[glaciertea]

Masterlist here

Tales the Songs Weave

Ch.20<< >>Ch.22

Notes: You and Miguel talk about what's next.

CW: Arguing

Chapter 21: Do We Get What We Deserve?...

Word count: 6K

You inspected the bag one last time, triple-checking that everything was placed on the coffee table and ready to go.

Peeking at your phone for the hundredth time, your body was littered with nerves, those annoying jitters not budging the second the number changes on the clock.

You weren't expecting him to come by later in the week, as you deemed it way too soon to see and confront him. But when you re-read those messages, you clearly were possessed, as you agreed to let him come by Thursday. And that day furtively found itself right in your doorway and into your humble abode.

Your legs shook with every fiber of their being, waiting for it to turn to 7 p.m., his items staring you in the face as you did your best to gaze at your now clean apartment.

You debated leaving it a mess, but you didn't want to go down a rabbit hole of him dwelling his altruistic ways on you. Oh, no. It was much easier to make up these facetious falsities that you manifested into this illusioned wellness that you're clearly in. You refused to let him care for you, and that will still continue until he's fully out of your life. Whenever the hell that may be.

“Where the hell is he? I want to get this over with.” 

You scrolled over your messages, the last one being sent nearly thirty minutes ago by him stating he's on the way. Despite it being five minutes away from the desired time, he should've been here. He always arrives before the planned schedule, so why wasn't he doing it now? Just because you two broke up, does that mean the way he does things is going to be different now with you? Not that it matters, but he could still be consistent with it. So why start doing things out of the ordinary now?

A knock at the door halted you from falling faster into that hellish mindscape. He was four minutes prior. So not much has exactly changed.

You staggered to the door before breathing in one good swallow of air, swinging the door open.

You both just stared. Not one movement. You didn't want to break the silence. He didn't want to break the silence.

You both didn't want to break this barrier. But it had to be done.

“You can come in.”  “May I come in?”

You purse your lips, and he rubbed the back of his head as you stepped aside. Off to a very awkward start.

He slid his boots off and tucked them on the bottom rack, having them jut out just a bit. It was still relatively fresh, so it made sense that the habits wouldn't dissolve that soon. Well, that's the conclusion you decided to ultimately reach.

You both stood in the middle of the living room, several feet apart. Miguel's eyes were glued to his stuff on the table. Pajamas, extra everyday wear, his toothbrush, bodywash, the records—everything is next to a duffle bag. His duffle bag, to be exact.

“Is this everything?”  “This is everything.”

You both fell quiet. This was getting ridiculous. You can't share the same mind; you didn't want to share the same mind.

“I'm sorry that I...”  “I'm sorry that I didn't–”

You released a frustrated cry. “Will you stop?! I–”

Miguel stared as you paced around in a circle.

“In. Out. In. Out.” You were using your breathing techniques, but with a more speedy approach. “I'm sorry for snapping. And I'm sorry that I didn't put them in the bag. I wanted you to look over everything to make sure I got all your stuff.” You rubbed your temples, eyes squeezed shut.

You were very prepared to get this over with. Miguel didn't know what to do, well, besides gaze at you. He couldn't have it end on a bitter note like this.

So he made small talk.

“Yeah, from what I've seen, it's everything.”

You raised a brow, rotating your head towards his belongings, then back to him. “You didn't conduct a thorough search.”

He shrugged. “I know all my things will be here. I only had one drawer, and my stuff in the bathroom didn't overtake your items. So I know this is everything.”

“But what if I'm hoarding some in my other drawers?”

“Are you hoarding anymore of my stuff in your dresser drawers?”

“No.”

“Then this is everything.”

“What if they're under my floorboards?” You don't know where this ‘witty’ banter even surfaced from.

“These are apartments. Won't they just fall into the place below?” He was so far succeeding in making this interaction less… troublesome.

“Maybe? I never really put in the thought of how these places work.”

“Exactly. So, again, this is everything.” He smiled and pushed his hands into his pockets.

He missed this. He will miss this.

“What if I'm lying and I secretly do know the exact location? You must know how that goes. Keeping things so hidden while luring the person farther from the actual site. Saying all these other places to deflect from the true location...”

And you both flipped right back to that stagnant air.

You didn't know where that petty jab came from. Well, you did. You believed if you blurted out that off-handed comment, that sense of pride and taking that ‘control’ back would barrel onto you, having you appear as this all-mighty soul who was thriving. Instead, all you got was you subconsciously shaming yourself and more sadness.

His body felt as if someone was heavily crushing a steel building on him. The reminder of the interminable affliction that was provoked. That he inflicted. He needed to divert.

He turned his head back and forth to the clean home and then to you. “Ho-how has work been? How has Ronnie been doing?”

“She's been doing okay, still the same as ever.” You wanted to affirm how much she wanted to basically kick his ass, but you held your tongue back. “How has work been for you? How have Peter and Mayday been? Jess?”

“Fine. Things have been about the same. More new annoying recruits, but it happens. And they've been fine. Peter is still Peter, and Jess is seemingly checked out with the pregnancy. Well, checked out amongst other things too.”

“I'm glad Peter is still bothering you; I hope he ramped it up. And I don't blame Jess one bit for being tired of everything.” Your voice was letting that sour tone slip out.

He caught on, and it was gnawing at him. “How have you been?”

You wanted to scream. “Been fine. Taking it day by day. Been breezing along pretty nicely. You?” You wanted to kick yourself in the face.

“I've been… I've been about the same. Taking it day by day, just like before.”

He couldn't say more. He couldn't mention how much he missed you. He couldn't mention how much he wanted you. He couldn't mention how that itch swelled exponentially, to the point of no return, even though he broke it off with you. He couldn't mention why it was there if the problem had been fixed.

He was going off track.

“I have your stuff, and the key is on top.” He held out the drawstring bag you left when you first came to his job.

“Thanks.” Taking the bag, you tossed it on the couch and watched as he intricately placed his objects in the duffle bag, piece by piece.

You both kept to yourselves. This was going to be it. A relationship that went on for months but felt like it lasted for years. You felt a bit overdramatic having thoughts like that, but it's difficult when strong emotions are in play. Craving to hold onto that floating feeling of soaring in the clouds until you find yourself drifting into the endless beauty of space. You hated that he took you to that sensation.

Stacking the last bits, he was packed and zipped up, ready to go. At least in a physical aspect. Mentally, he wasn't ready to leave. The wound is still bleeding out, infected to the point of no return. But he will let it stay if it is to fully stop that incomprehensible tingle. He will let it stay as a memory to remember what was caused.

Hoisting the bag on his shoulder, he clenched the strap and bit his bottom lip, his fangs faintly peeking out. “I think that's everything.”

“It is.” You rubbed your arm.

“Like I said, all of your stuff is in the bag. Besides the records and record player, I will send them to you tommo-”

“Don't. Those were, and still are, for you.”

He nodded his head. “Right… right. Thank you for letting me keep them.”

“No problem.” You swayed from leg to leg, your arms hugging your body tightly. 

He eyed your figure one last time. He was a selfish man; he truly didn't deserve you. He was relieved for you to no longer suffer underneath his doings. You wouldn't even need to tolerate him anymore.

“I should probably get going.”

You looked up at him.

“I'm needed back at the HQ; I can't waste anymore time.”

You pressed your lips into a line.

“Thank you, mi corazón, for everything.”

You didn't want this, but you needed more. You needed something. You couldn't have it end this way.

“I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for hurting and pushing you so far into this.”

Your brain was boiling over.

“Goodbye, mi Luna.”

The lid exploded. 

“Why? Why?! Why apologize for putting me through all this when the answers you gave make no sense?!”

Miguel withdrew from the outburst, perturbed by the unexpected switch. “I-I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–” 

“What?! You didn't mean to what? Hurt me? Have me believe all these lies? Having me wonder, where did I go wrong? Or what did I do to be this surprising problem when, the more I thought about it, I may not have been a problem in the first place?! Or maybe I was! I don't know! I don't know!”

Miguel clamped up as he tried to keep his composure. “I told you, the canon—my canon—got knocked off course. I didn't mean for you to be a problem.”

“You didn't mean for me to be a problem? What does that even mean?!” You couldn't control that seething rage; you decided to let it take its course.

He balled his fist up. “I didn't mean you were a problem; you were just a problem for my canon event.”

“Canon this, canon that! I still don't understand what that means! You—you know what's so funny? I've been doing some thinking, a lot of thinking, and as I submerged myself in this dilemma, I discovered some very interesting and funny things.”

Miguel folded his arms in front of his chest; his body was heated but numb at the same time. He debated if he should even speak. Maybe it could clear up the confusion and give you the proper closure.

“Mi- I can explain it better if you let me–”

“Let's start with this ‘canon’ debacle. You told me that our lives are already ‘predetermined,’ that ‘there is a reason behind everything we do,’ right? And that when you seemingly walked out the doors at your job, everything coincidentally got knocked out of whack.”

Miguel went to open his mouth, but you kept going.

“So why did I step out of my apartment complex? Huh? Why was I at the park when you were there? Was that not a predetermined faith for me?”

“I don't know why you were there; I just know that it wasn't supposed to happen.”

“What wasn't supposed to happen? Huh?”

“You- you weren't supposed to-”

“Here, let me take some guesses. I wasn't supposed to be there. I wasn't supposed to have ever met you. I wasn't supposed to interfere with your canon. Oh! How about I wasn't supposed to exist? Could that be it?!”

You weren't done, as you immediately cut him off before he could open his mouth again.

“Oh! I know! I wasn't supposed to love you. Was that it? Was that the thing that wasn't presumed?!”

Your body was burning; that wave of exhilaration, resentment, fury, despondency, and all in between was slamming into you with full force. The more and more this marinated in your brain, the less and less sense it all made. You had the questions; you always did; you were just too afraid to let them out. But now, now you are going to get those answers, whether you both liked them or not.

“This is all so infuriating! How I was evidently the fucking source of the world being fucking destroyed!”

His eyes were drained and glossy. Hearing back, all he said was killing him more than before. He never meant to hurt you or leave you in this mentally mangled mess. But he couldn't have it infiltrate and shove aside the truth, and he had to get you to recognize it's for your own good. 

“Mi- I didn't mean for anything to come out the way it did. I never sought to make you out to be the main reason or burden for this… cataclysmic event that can transpire! Something that I frankly wish I could fucking control, but I can't.”

“But you did, Miguel! You. Did.” You knocked your bag to the floor before kicking it halfway across the room.

“You stood here—stood here—and basically pointed at me when my hand was nowhere near that cookie jar. You stood here and pinned all of this shit onto me. Barely did you even bother to take any of that responsibility on yourself!”

“I know! I shouldn't have done it. And I'm sor-”

“But when you did let it slip that you could've been at fault as well; you would turn that ship around and backtrack right onto me! You. Did. That. Consciously or subconsciously, I don't know at this point! But from that self-explanation, it had to be all consciously.”

Those iniquitous and revolting words he beseeched on you that night pummeled his body until he would end up as a bloody pulp on the freezing concrete floor. They haven't let up since the minute he walked out of your place, and now they have added bats and other weapons to the mix.

Miguel flung his duffle bag as a loud thump echoed in your ears. “I know! I-I was being a selfish man. I am a selfish man! Just please let me explain in a better wa-”

“An-and you know what makes this harder?”

Miguel's claws were running through his curls, trying not to break down in front of you. You didn't care anymore. Your brain, heart, and mouth were on a warpath, and they weren't stopping until that sliver of white was raised in the air.

“Me falling in love with you.”

Miguel felt his heart crack deeper into those webs.

“Maybe I shouldn't have fallen in love with you, but that's the hardest part. You said it wasn't right, that none of this wasn't right, then... then why did everything feel like it did? That everything aligned so perfectly?”

Miguel finally took the hint. He lets you keep going.

“The day I messaged you was one of my weakest moments. My hands were moving faster than my brain because I felt like I needed to have something, but I didn't know what it was.” Your brows furrowed, and your face scrunched up. “No. I knew what it was. No point in Iying. It was you; I wanted you. But now—now I don't even know if I want you here, but I still do! I'm just so confused!

“And I will never understand your spider stuff. I never did, and maybe I never will. I don't care! No, I do. I don't… No, I do. I don't know, I don't know!” You were a swirl of an inevitable decline. 

“I just want you! You say we should have never fallen in love, that I,” you thrust a finger on your chest painfully, “I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. Then what about you, then? Huh?! If you knew the earth was going to implode on itself, why did you have us continue if you knew we couldn't?!”

Miguel lowered his head in agony.

“No! You don't get to feel pity for yourself! Answer me!”

He snapped it back up, his neck catching a cramp. His eyes widening at that warranted yell. 

“I'm sor-sorry. I didn't mean to-”

“Because... because I hol- held the same affection for you.” His voice was hushed. Soft and on the verge of defeat, sparing the fact he already hit that low point.

You pinched your skin, refusing to collapse into tears in front of him. “You hurt me. I-” you ran your fingers through your hair, not knowing anything anymore.

“I believed everything. Every action and every word you spoke to me. I took it all in stride because I was so happy to know that I was yours and you were mine. That nothing could ever break us apart, no matter what. And I believed it. I still believe all of it. And I hate that I do. That I'm holding onto these inveterate notions because I still want to feel that way.” 

Your eyes were on his bag. “Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I'm gaslighting myself. Maybe I'm merely torturing my own heart and mind because it still wants to attach to that sentient that we are one. That we are still in love. That I still... I am in love with you, Miguel.”

Miguel's heart nearly crumpled all the way. He was curled up and left for dead, rotting away till he was a pile of bones. He dropped to his knees, staring at you but also past you.

He truly didn't know anymore. He was in the same boat, but you two were on opposite ends. Manning different emotions, or maybe they were the same. He could no longer tell. This was all he could do. Damage and destroy the ones he vows to keep safe. The ones who love him, and he can never understand why.

“I never meant to cause you any harm. Believe me when I say I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to lose you. Por favor, cree esas palabras.”

He flicked his eyes to stare at your face. “I wanted to distance myself to not hurt you more than I already had to. I tried to push away, but you made it so difficult to-”

“Fuck off with that, fuck off! No, no, no! You're literally doing it. You're pinning it on me again.”

“No! I don't—fuck! I didn't mean—I made it more difficult! My selfishness got in the way. I said things that I regret even throwing at you, but mi Lu- I needed to... I had to do it. For your safety. I didn't want to see you gone or hurt!”

He abruptly shot up from his kneeling position, storming back and forth in your living room. “I had to do what I had to do. To save us. To save you! I thought about only taking me and you away if it were to happen, and I really did. But I know you wouldn't have wanted that! She wouldn't have wanted it!”

“Please don't.”

“We have to comply with the canon. We have to follow what the models say. We can't disrupt it! We can't stray from it!”

“Please! Don't keep–”

“And I hate that I'm the one who has to fix it all, and I still manage to hurt others! I'm the one! It's not all your fault, but you shouldn't have caused—I shouldn't have hurt you, but I did it because we weren't meant to… I just want you to understand!”

“Just stop! Please just stop.”

“Mi Lu- coraz- I-I know it's hard to understand! I don't underst- I don't want you being involved and getting hurt even more!”

“Stopstopstopstop,” you sputtered in a frenzied repetition.

“It hurts. This hurts! All of this hurts because this is what I have to do! In order to protect others and defend you! I had to Mi Lu- cor- I had to-”

“STOP! Please! Just… stop. Oh, God, please just… stop.” A shuddering sob nearly escaped, your palms covering your eyes as your fingers harshly gripped the edges of your hair.

His face was red, his irises that crimson blood-red, as he eyeballed your quaking and hunched over frame.

“I can't, Miguel. This–this is torture! It hurts me because—because I trust you. And that's what's making this even harder.” You wiped away the attempting tears threatening to form. They stung, it burned, but not as much this moment.

Miguel's heart was now shattered completely. Whatever he was struggling to clutch onto dissipated as scornful ashes in the winds.

“I won't understand your work or the complete actions behind it, but you do. And… and knowing that I need to trust in your words because I love–” you pause and move on, not wanting to exhaust yourself even more.

“I only wish you were honest with me from the start. You dragged me along for how long? How long did you know that this,” you pointed between you two. “That this wasn't supposed to last?”

“Since… I knew when—when you first told me you loved me.” 

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Fucking liar.

“And you still,” you balled your hand and bit into your knuckles, having to force back so much. “And you still went on about it. You still went and continued it. This is why I'm conflicted; this is why I'm so confused.”

You crumpled onto the couch, your knee shaking. Miguel wanted to soothe it. “I trust you, but I hate how you went about it. I don't want the world to end either; I don't, but trying to convince me that I'm the only problem and it's all my fault takes a fucking toll on someone, Miguel. Especially when there are other players in the game.”

“I'm so sorry.”

“I know you're sorry, I know, but that's not going to fix all this! You are still refusing to take on any responsibilities yourself. You tell me it's for me; you're telling me it's to shield me from this inevitability, but you're still trying to shoehorn your way into pushing all of the blame onto me.” You felt your body slowly becoming fatigued, but you still had to persist.

“And I'm having to comply only with your life! What about me?! You tell me I shouldn't exist and I don't belong, but why am I here then? Why was I put on this earth then?”

He opened his mouth, but you raised your hand to stop him.

“You know what? I don't even want to go there.”

Despite being this huge figure, he couldn't feel more like a small child being reprimanded for the string of trouble they knew they caused.

“I have to have this faith in you. You possess a better understanding of this canon crap, because that's a thing in itself and something you have clear knowledge of. I just need you to tell me, and be straight up honest, is it—is it wholeheartedly my fault that the world was going to die solely because of me?”

“No. Most of it wasn't your fault. Because it is still my canon, I had a hand in it too.” He stuttered over nervously and peered down at the unoccupied cushion on the sofa.

“Yes, you can sit.” 

You were coming to a simmer. Your body slightly rose when he sat down next to you. You were sinking into the couch, head on the headrest, as you blankly stared at the ceiling. Now his knee was vibrating the couch, but you curled both your hands on a pillow you grabbed and kept them there.

“Mi Lu- I'm so sorry. I know it'll never be enough, but I just want to reiterate it a million times. I was thrown off track when you weren't saying a word. I was going to chalk it up to you taking it well, but I immediately threw that out the window.”

“Yeah, smartest thing you did that night. You used that interstellar spider brain for that split second.” You brought your thumb and index very close to each other.

Half a smile showed on his face before he wiped it away. “Yeah. I just… I-”

“You freaked out because it wasn't going as you expected? That need to control?”

“I- well, not really control. More of an, uh, need to intervene.”

You gave him an irate glare, sizing him up and down. He regretfully rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. “Okay, yes, technically control.”

“Not everything will go your way, Miguel. There's going to be days where things will not always play out as you want. Well, if the canon has anything to say, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Your eyes were back on the ceiling as he joined you. “Nothing? Cool.”

“That's not how it works; it's not something corporeal.”

“So a mystical God then, good to know.” You blew a frustrated raspberry.

Miguel kept his jaw shut, not wanting to disagree or throw more of the rules at you.

“I'm just so lost. I thought beating you down and having you crack into giving me answers would make me feel better, but it honestly left me worse off than before. Now I don't know where to go from this point.”

He observed your face and knew you still had more on your mind.

“I still want to be near you, but that's not going to help. It's only going to cause more heartache than anything else. We could try being friends, but that hurts my stomach thinking about it.” You groaned out loudly. “You big idiot! Why did you have to waltz into my life being this dumb, loveable oaf?”

There's so much Miguel wanted to say and needed to say, but would it have made it any better? Would it be best to let you go and let it truly be the end, or still hold on to that slither of something that is there but can genuinely never be? It's like the others. You were the ones who loved, the ones who ventured so far, only to trip off the side and plummet to the immeasurable end of hardship, affection, and so much more.

“Lo siento mucho.” He hovered his hand over yours. Not a sign of love, not even a sign of forgiveness. Just a sign that he will be there for you no matter what.

You hesitated. You've been seeking control, but at this stage, you don't even know what it is. You were mad, justifiably upset, and the more you leered at his clawed fingers, the stirring in the bottomless pit in your heart relentlessly swelled with that want. Despite what seemed like an eternity—most likely one minute—he never once removed his hand. Was it stubbornness? Endurance? You didn't know.

You took his hand and squeezed. You both stayed quiet, only the sounds of your breathing in sync filling your ears.

Was there truly nothing more to say? You don't know how much time has passed, but a long, streaming exhale departs from you.

“Maybe I said it too early.”

“Said what too early?”

“I love you. I'm debating if it was a 'spur in the moment’ ordeal, or was my heart absolutely secured when I spoke those three formidable words.”

Miguel stared out of the corner of his eye. Was he allowed to speak on that despite never uttering the words back to you?

“When I first told you that night, my brain had an ‘are you sure you want to continue? Are you really sure?’ But there was no argument when I decided to let it out. It felt right. There were no second thoughts, no doubts. It was right.” You chuckled some. 

“Love is such a weird thing. I thought I was in over my head, but I chose to accept that I wasn't. Were we rushing into something we didn't fully know, or was the timing just right?”

Miguel believed it was just right. Well, that's what he also wants to believe. To accept that he himself was going so deep into it, begging to escape these constricted ropes.

When he’s around you, those chains are unbounded, to a certain extent, but now he’s too locked up.

“Where do we go from here, Miguel? How close are we exactly allowed to be? What do we do?” Having to put your faith, this credence, in this unearthly cosmic matter was the worst, but what else could you do?

“I don’t know. That’s one thing I plainly have no precise answer to.” His fingers still didn’t leave yours.

“Could we at least check-in on one another? A text here and there? Nothing too grand. Maybe our feelings will dwindle in time.” Your voice shifted drearily, and your face was completely depleted.

He wanted to be near you. “Yeah, we can try that.” 

“Meager acquaintances. Great.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t. It’s… I don’t know. No, it’s okay. It will have to be okay.”

And that was it. 

You and Miguel remained hand in claw, hardly moving. Now there was positively nothing more to say. The red petunias and purple hyacinths won, and the fields that were going to grow with those beautiful marigolds and lavender were buried, tucked away to no longer be seen. You wanted to see them in that everlasting meadow. He wanted to see them in the everlasting meadow.

You still do. He still does.

After twenty minutes of lounging on the couch, gazing up with hands interlocked, Miguel’s watch began to blare. 

“Something urgent?”

“Name a time when it isn't with them.” He unraveled his fingers, grunting from the lost touch. He never forgot how much he missed your soft connection.

Pushing himself off, he stumbled over to his bag and picked it up, but took his time doing so. He still needed to be around you as much as possible. Scooting yourself off, you wavered over to the door and leaned against the wall, watching him. Belongings in hand, he made his way towards you and froze. You both stared at each other, trying to gleam what the other was showing in each other’s eyes. Melancholy? Longing? Forgiveness?

Love? You both couldn't tell.

“So, we're just friends going down to acquaintances to strangers once more?”

He mumbled something under his breath, but you suspected it was him agreeing.

“I will still check in on you until something fades away.” You pinched your arm. You have to constrain the tears.

“I don't… Yeah. Until something fades away.” He had to be strong.

A few seconds went by with his device going off, but it became background noise for you two. This was final. So why not do one more regrettable thing?

“I- may I… Can I have... May I-”

He waited anxiously.

“May I have a—can I have a hug?”

No hesitation; Miguel dropped his stuff on the ground and pulled you into a tight embrace. You were so gentle, so passionate, and so kind. He wanted you, and he never wanted to let go. But he needed to. He hates that he has to let go so others can keep going.

This was wrong, but you both had zero care.

“Mi Luna.”

“Mi Estrella.”

He stroked your hair and took your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head to look at him. Only him. Only those cerise eyes.

“Mi Luna.” He wanted you.

“Mi Estrella.” You wanted him.

His lips collided into yours. Your arms tangle around his neck as he picks you up and pins you against the wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist, your tongues hungrily clashing. You couldn't stop it, and he didn't want to stop it. Your dainty fingers ran through his thick curls before they were pressed against either side of your head. He pries himself away, a trail of saliva stringing between you two.

“We shouldn't, Mi-Miguel.”

“Uno más. Lamento mucho ser tan egoísta.” 

His fangs extended as they grazed across the crook of your neck. You shivered and whimpered out, rediscovering that ethereal bliss you struggled to forget. His calloused hands and his sharp nails slinked their way under your shirt, sliding along your supple skin.

“So responsive. That's one thing I missed.” His husky voice sent electric waves from your head to your toes.

“We have to stop.” You barely fought back, but why would you?

“Lo sé. Lo sé.” Miguel left feathered kisses from your neck down to the collarbone.

You tipped your head so he could have better access. He bites down right near your shoulder, letting his fangs penetrate and marginally numbing you. Your soft moans of ecstasy riled him. His tongue whirled around and sucked profusely before pulling away, enjoying the reddening blotch. He brings you back into another heated kiss, your hands clinging onto his broad shoulders.

This was going to be a regret. One that you'll hate tomorrow and forever until you forget him, but one that you'll relish in this moment.

“Mi Luna.” He bunched up your shirt, ready to rip it right off, as the kiss grew sloppier when a voice blasted from his watch.

“Miguel! We can't hold off this Doc Oct variant! He's too powerful; please hurry up!”

You yanked your head away and shoved him back some, stiffly patting his chest. “I-I think it's best if you get a handle on that. It sounds like they really need you.”

“Yeah.”

Clumsily, you unhooked your legs and let them dangle when you felt your feet touch the cold floor. 

You both dared not to look up. You both only saw the ground and realized that's the way this will have to go. His device may have been a blessing in disguise for any future endeavors that would've potentially ruined what was already broken.

Miguel heard the faint clicking and squeaking of the door.

“Well, I'll check in from time to time. That'll be okay, right?”

“Yeah, I'll do the same.” He grabbed his bag and walked out the door before turning back to get one last peek. “You deserve nothing but the best, and I'm sorry that I couldn't have been the one to give it.”

“You did, and I would've loved to have seen more, but I guess it is what it is.” You tapped on the doorframe before extending your arm out. “Have a safe trip back home. And be careful.”

“Be careful with what?”

“Life. Just in general, be careful.”

He shakily took your hand, engulfing it with his. His hold was firm, but it was always gentle.

“I'll try. And you be safe too.” He plastered that neutrality in his voice.

You released and folded your arms. “I'll try. Goodbye, Miguel.” You had much more to say but decided it's best to let it go and have it wilt away.

“Goodbye, my moon.” 

You both nearly broke, but concealed it all in.

The night seemed endless. The moon was out, but not a single star graced alongside it. Whenever he would scope out a shimmering speckle, it would merely be a plane tricking him into believing one had finally found its way out. Even the sky above mocks and prods at his shortcomings.

When you closed the door for the final time, that was the curtain call. Knowing you both will have to move onto the next chapters of your lives was certainly not a whirlwind of an ending he would've asked for. 

But that's life. That's what fate decided. That's what the canon has chosen. 

At least for Miguel, that damn sixth sense or whatever could finally be off his chest. It was just a shame he had to lose a valuable significance to get rid of it altogether. 

Because these are the sacrifices that he has to make.

In order to protect, he must confine.

In order to love, he must let go. Always.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@prozacgooble @sanguwuxyoonbummy @ella-janehaven

[random-mailbox]

Random-Mailbox's Favorite Sailor Moon Fics - Week 49 - Proposals

Today’s stories are all about proposals and I think including them into this list is more spoiler-y than usual. Sorry! But they are all amazing ♥️

As always, my apologies in advance for spoiling some of these for you (Fic Titles are linked to either FFN or AO3 entries).

Walk These Old Roads With Me - @queenrisa14

To reconnect with Usagi after his Galaxia-inflicted disappearance, Mamoru whisks her away to the mountains, trying to get over the chasm that has formed between them.

Let's Try This Again…- @areptiledysfunction1107

To make up for his Galaxia-induced botched proposal at the airport, Mamoru decides to rectify things by taking Usagi to check out the Perseid meteor shower and tell her his wish. This one is a lemon.

King of Earth, Fool of Love (and Fashion) - @midnightdrops

Mamoru finally worked up the courage and made a plan to propose to Usagi. That is until the rest of the senshi got involved “to help”

(Im)perfect Proposal - @kaleidodreams

Helios tries his best to propose to Lady Serenity, with everything going absolutely sideways.

Belonging - @tinacentury

This story is set in Sailor Stars if Mamoru DID make it to Harvard but Usagi still didn't realize that the ring he gave her was an engagement one. My favorite part was seeing Mamoru react to one of the best episodes of the season "A Night Alone Together: Usagi in Danger" unfold outside-looking-in. 

The Reveal: Chapter 11: Theme: Secrecy - @kasienda

Mamoru is trying his best to propose to Usagi, except that Sailor Moon and her paranormal activities keep getting in the way. This story is definitely miscommunication done right!

---

Next week we will cover the trop of "Locked In" - be it closets, islands or other tight spaces.

Here are the links to the previous Tumblr posts in these series to explore more amazing works based on different themes - make sure to check them out if you haven't had a chance! (Click on title name to go to the post) - I will keep updating the list every week as new posts come up:

Week 1 - Groundhog Day

Week 2 - Established Relationships

Week 3 - Sex Positivity

Week 4 - Unfinished Stories

Week 5 - Darker Stories

Week 6 - Potions 🧪

Week 7 - Reveals

Week 8 - 👻Halloween🎃

Week 9 - Wrong Perceptions

Week 10 - Non-Senshi AU

Week 11 - In-Progress Fics

Week 12 - Mutual Pining

Week 13 - Enemies to Lovers

Week 14 - Slow Burn

Week 15 - Christmas Part 1 - Ugly Christmas Sweaters and Santa!

Week 16 - Christmas Part 2

Week 17 - New Years

Week 18 - High School AU

Week 19 - Slice of Life

Week 20 - Coffee shop AU

Week 21 - Huddle for Warmth

Week 22 - Friends to Lovers

Week 23 - ❤️Valentines Day❤️

Week 24 - Do a Grouch a Favour Day (or Cheer Up Fics)

Week 25 - Soulmate AU

Week 26 - Amnesia Fics (and resources)

Week 27 - 🍀St Patrick's Day🍀

Week 28 - Fix it Fics

Week 29 - Prompt: Mug

Week 30 - Flowers

Week 31 - Traditions

Week 32 - Dreams

Week 33 - Friends

Week 34 - Body-Swap

Week 35 - Medical Assistance

Week 36 - Sex Pollen

Week 37 - Psychometry

Week 38 - What If

Week 39 - Missing Scenes Part I

Week 40 - Green Jacket

Week 41 - Dr Chiba

Week 42 - Birthdays

Week 43 - Fluff

Week 44 - First Kiss

Week 45 - Reviving Shitennou

Week 46 - Tutoring

Week 47 - Thunderstorms

Week 48 - Food

[terraliensvent]

For those not in the server, THEY FINALLY REOPENED DESIGN APPROVALS! 🎉🎉

Ill give a transcript at the bottom of the post (under “read more”), but heres a quick summary:

(Obviously) Approvals are gonna take a while since they’re pretty backed up

Don’t expect quick responses in concept feedback, mods are obviously gonna be real busy

(THIS IS A BIG ONE!) NO MORE NEEDING APPROVAL IN DISCORD BEFORE SUBMITTING ON SITE!! This is an awesome improvement because i think i speak for many when i say that people were kinda sick of approvals being on the discord thread.

Lim trait removal item is on the way

FERAL TERRA ITEM IS ON THE WAY 🎉🎉🎉

Betta brushes can remove colors now (but only colors that have less than 25% coverage)

ML images can have props now

Screen visor overhaul is ready, guide is TBA. Screen visors will now require something to be in the visor ad a “critter” if the screen mimics a face. this is still a little confusing so id say wait for the guide to come out.

microbes can mimic eyes now, just not at the same time as a mouth. theres a guide to see how to properly do an eye mimic so it actually looks like it belongs in a microbe visor

Overall some good stuff here, excited for the lim trait items

now for the transcript:

ANNOUNCEMENT 1, JULY 21

“<@&1081436363280367647>

# (Re)Design Approvals are opening TOMORROW... Can you believe it?

You heard it here folks, we're finally at a stage where we're ready to reopen TOMORROW! (7/22/24). Everyone has been working very hard to get the necessary guides finished, and we all agree that we're at a point where we can reopen. However, there is a LOT we have to go over. Please read this all CAREFULLY.

## Approvals will Open: <t:1721664000:f>

- **Our Trial Mods have never done Design Approvals before.** On top of that, we've had a lot of changes to our previous system that those of us who HAVE done Approvals before must learn. We did a quick training course today, but nothing will compare to the real deal. Even more, every user was able to claim a free MYO, and many of you have finished up your MYOs Designs and are ready to upload it- or, you've been ready since we initially closed with older MYOs. With this, we want to stress one big thing:

- **Please be patient.** We are expecting a huge backlog of Design/Redesign Approvals once the floodgates open. It will take us quite a bit of time to get through each and every approval - things will be incredibly slow from the start. For the first week or two, please do not send in tickets or staff asks bumping your design, we will get to every one when we can.

- **Concept Feedback will be fairly slow as well.** Our main focus will be approvals - so we will be taking our eyes off of Concept Feedback for the first few days. Please be patient with us there as well, staff will try to get to you when we can.

- **APPROVALS ARE MOVING ONTO SITE!** To better optimize our system, we've decided to take all Approvals fully onto site. The threads will no longer be used in the Discord, so submit your Design directly onto site. You do not need a moderator to sign off on it anymore, we will just directly approve it ourselves.

- **Information regarding Compensation "MYOs" and Design Approvals will be sent out tomorrow.**

Additional Changes:

- **We are adding Limited Trait Removal & Feral/Quad Terraliens.** More information will be sent out about Quads once the item to make them is completed. Limited Trait Removal will be done VIA an item as well.

- **Betta Brushes can now remove colors that are present under 25% of a Terraliens' Design.** Have a small accent color you regret adding onto your Terralien? No worries, now Betta Brushes can do away with that!

- **Props are able to be added to the Masterlist now.** Props can be added to the Masterlist so long as they do not mimic Holograms - the Terralien must be holding them, and they must not obscure the body. Please note that weapons may need a censor, and also that sensitive material will not be allowed. More information will be sent on Props soon.

- **Screen Visor Overhaul has been worked out.** Screen Visors will now require a "critter" to be present if they are mimicking a face, as we have noticed a theme of Screen Visors not looking like Terraliens. However, Screen Visors on the Masterlist will not be required to make this change if redesigning - this is only for ones going forwards. A guide will be accessible soon.

- **Microbes can now mimic eyes, as long as they are not paired with Visor Mouth.** This will be done via the new Visor Eye trait. This eye must still be microbial in nature - it is not allowed to be a normal eye. An updated Microbe guide is onsite for further examples of this.

- **Please expect more changes in the future as we go!**

Thank you all so much for your patience and support, we are so excited to be open again and we have so many things coming in the future that we hope you will all enjoy. Happy Reopening!”

ANNOUNCEMENT 2, JULY 22:

“<@&1081436363280367647>

# (Re)Designs are OPEN!

If you haven’t read the announcement from yesterday already then we heavily advise you to! It covers a lot of new information regarding how we’re going to be handling (Re)Designs from here on out! As a reminder of one aspect in particular though, **We will no longer be using the Discord threads for Approvals. Please only submit onsite.**

## If you have a Modified/PointBuy Ticket, please read [HERE](<https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-GFoE_RurlM78BThKfdDfCAG226-N4htPbDIcIwLPDA/edit>) for information about how to use them.

_ _

Clarification on Screen Visors:

Screen Visors will *not* be available to be added with Point Buy MYOs, as we’re in the process of making a guide for them now. They are not yet ready to be released, so we’ve decided to keep them off of the Point Buy MYOs. However, do know that we are working to make Limited Traits accessible through certain means in the future. Another thing a lot of users have been confused on is the new requirement for a “critter” in the visor if there is to be eyes. A “critter” is a generalized term for the presence of something in the visor, it does not have to be a living thing. Stars, planets, hearts would all be a critter.

Another clarification is that for Microbes with eyes, they must look naturally part of the Visor Contents. The eye still has to be a Microbe, & there must be some others around it that look similar. We’ve uploaded a Guide onsite that features some examples of these.

### You can find our updated Guides HERE: [LINK](<https://terraliens.org/gallery>). Be sure to click on the Sub-Galleries, as the main one only shows a small handful.

And just another reminder / request to please be patient! We’re expecting hundreds of Claims & Approval Requests, so it’ll take us a fair bit of time to get through them — especially as we train the Trials. While we understand being excited, please refrain from bumping your requests via ticket or staff ask:))”

[eldifusor]

Get to know me- yes, it is a tag game!

I was tagged (with no obligations) by @pleiadianwitch and I am choosing to actually do it.

1. Were you named after anyone?

So my irl name's lore is: mother took it from the bible, father also chose the same but from a secular detective book so they surprised each other when they discussed how to name me. Bible name is confirmed. I have never been able to confirm name was actual read on a secular detective book: because father can't recall the title of said book. I do like this story a lot so I chose to believe that it is true.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cry internally everyday more than once. Actual tears flowing from my eyes you ask? Well, like a week ago at time of writing this.

3. Do you have kids?

No.

And you did not ask but I will volunteer this:

I don't want kids "of my own" but I think "kids" don't belong to anyone and as a society we must take care of every single one of them.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Back in the day I used to play a lot of basketball. Loved it. And actually played enough to try out for a pro team in Puerto Rico but failed miserably because I was not that great. Also never disciplined which was the real problem.

I also coached some little league basketball on my barrio.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Me?? NEVER.....

(yes, that "joke" is the most puerile and obvious way of trying to convey that I used it, love it etc.

BUT as I grow older, I am using it less and less because I think sometimes people don't know how to sarcasm properly or use sarcasm as an excuse to just being petty horrible people and I think that is fucking lame).

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes. I am obsessed with looking at eyes discreetly when someone is talking. Love seeing someone smiling with their eyes: the most endearing human quality that makes me feel good about humanity and that we might still have a chance of being not as horrible as we are.

7. What is your eye color?

Boring but Trusty Brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

You know what? I appreciate a good scary movie but I don't seek them. Maybe I should do more.

And I do think well earned happy endings are cool and all BUT what I really like are sad tragic endings.

But for this questions I will say: a sad tragic ending disguised as a happy ending. That's the REAL THING!!!

9. Any talents?

Public speaking-- for better or worst. :-D

10. Where were you born?

Bayamón, Puerto Rico

11. What are your hobbies?

I have a myriad of obsessions that I do sometimes simultaneously or some other that are seasonal, others dies and come back...obsessing over the intersection of politics, media, pop culture, meta-narratives, writing, storytelling, games...I mishmash everything...in other words: what TUMBLR represents in the virtual spaces, is basically what I would call my "hobbies". Does that make sense? No? EXACTLY.

12. Pets?

No more. Had a lot in the past. Loved them dearly. Suffered too much when they parted. Decided to stop that. But love to see other's pets and respect a responsible pet owner forever.

13. How tall are you?

6'1 mostly...6'2 other times

14. Favorite subject in school?

Spanish, History, Science, Social Studies

15. Dream job?

I had it. It became a nightmare. I still get to do some dream like thing on jobs and just appreciate when that happens.

*** I will tag (with no obligation to do it of course!): *** @peligrosapop @lierdumoa @raynitamusic @lydighed @holdinghorizons @poetessinthepit @james3neal

[quaddmgd]

Now that CyberHanami23 is over, I figured I'll clear my head and do a wrap-up on stuff I posted throughout the week. I went into it encouraged by my partner, without a clue about what I'll post and how long will it take me to break a streak. Turns out, I managed to post every day, which is something I'm very proud of.

I'm kinda new to this fandom, so during this week I managed to meet some beautiful people and see their jaw-dropping posts, made with love to their OCs and the franchise. Furthermore, I received an overwhelming amount of kind words towards my pics and characters in them. I can't find words to describe how grateful I am for that. It might sound cheesy, but for the lack of better words - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to anyone that decided to even take a look at my stuff. It means a lot <3

So, how about some trivia about my cyberhanami23 posts? <3

I wanted to share more about Crystal and have a running theme - "Moving On" - but lack of any prior planning didn't do it a service. The theme is there, except it wasn't portrayed well at all. No one would ever guess what I had in mind. I wonder if I should write a post on how this theme relates to C.

For each day, I aimed to include a different character Crystal met at some point - and I almost managed to do that, apart from Day 7. There are many characters I'd like to include, but I wasn't able to come up with stories that would do them justice.

In Day 2, other than changing time of day, I didn't mess with the lighting. Yes, the last shot just came out like that, with no sun or any additional light sources. I didn't know how to do lighting yet.

I don't know what would be the deal between Crystal and Hanako, nor how does she know Meredith (Day 2 and Day 5). When I was initially developing her and listing every person she'll come in contact with, I figured she has to meet Hanako once. There are multiple reasons why their dynamic would be fantastic. Regarding Meredith, it's something I came up with the day before posting her. It'd be quite interesting if Stout had led a different life before becoming a corpo. And I wanted to pay her respect, as she ended up at the bottom of the ocean, wearing cement shoes, following my actions in the game.

Excluding blonde Crystal from Day 4, every picture from this week was shot the same day it was posted. Screenshots with blonde C are part of an upcoming post about her last day as a nomad. She's indeed a natural blonde and these pics are supposed to show that day.

The red Shion Targa MZT visible in some of the days is canonically Crystal's. She got it during a gig in the city. I love this car and it pisses me off that I can't buy it on console.

Elegy mentioned in Day 6 is @oranzuwu's OC and that Kusanagi in the last picture belongs to her. We know so much about each other's characters and figured out how they would meet and what kind of relationship they would have. Fun fact: Crystal knows Judy through Elegy.

I didn't know what to post on Day 7, so I started writing down songs I like with cool names, fitting for a title of the day. It didn't help, so my s/o came up with an idea to shoot pics of Crystal getting ready for bed - it's the 7th day after all, a time to rest. I started messing around and ended up snapping pictures of Crystal drinking beer with E3 2019 Fem V. It didn't fit any song, so I ditched the idea and went for back-alley Japantown tech-noir, also partially influenced by my s/o. Even though the original idea was scrapped, I'll probably post it in the next few days.

Originally I wanted to name Day 7 "Shadow Lady" or "Dark Paradise", but I settled on a song with lyrics that would fit the photos... and I felt the need to show my love for Ladytron - they're great. Although Dark Paradise doesn't fit the Day 7, it kinda makes sense as a theme song for the entire week.

I had a lot of fun and learned even more, especially regarding AMM. I never modded Cyberpunk before, as I mainly play the Xbox version. It didn't reach an acceptable level of performance on my rig and I switched to console. For the most part, I'm gonna stay there, at least until I run out of ways to creatively work around the constraints of its photo mode. Occasionally, I'll shoot something on PC, sure, but my GPU, even with FSR 2.1, doesn't produce satisfactory results - the internal res needed for playable framerates is just too low for it to look good. You don't wanna know what it takes for my PC to render these 1440p ultra settings images. Believe me, it's not used to do anything beyond running Linux, PS2 games and compiling code.

Anyway, it was cool to be a part of such event and I'm looking forward to participate in more of them, if the opportunity arises! For now, I'll continue posting my drafted screenshots and maybe even talk about something different than Cyberpunk to diversify a bit.