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shihalyfie · 4 years ago

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Adventure, 02, pragmatism, and humanism (morality of fighting, conflict resolution, the importance of personal choice, etc.)

Adventure and 02 are naturally very idealistic series, but despite being idealistic, there are times when they can get rather pragmatic -- even uncomfortably pragmatic in ways that seem a bit unusual for a kids’ show. The entire last quarter of Adventure and almost all of 02 dealt so heavily with the topic of “is it okay to fight, even if it means incurring deaths?" to the point it’s pretty hard to miss, but both series have an approach towards the morality of fighting, the possibility of potentially having to kill enemies (including former friends that have turned antagonistic), the approach to dispute resolution, and the meanings of “moving forward positively” and “not getting hung up on needless negativity” that are surprisingly nuanced. At times, there’s even a strong message that warns against getting hung up on preachy principles that sound noble on their face but actually don’t get anywhere in practice.

This is a handful of topics, and it’s to the point where it may seem a bit strange to condense all of these under one meta instead of dedicating separate posts to it, but I decided to on the grounds of the fact that they’re all very tied to each other in the course of Adventure’s narrative. Overall, both series are very kind to the feelings and mentalities and thoughts of the young children involved, having the characters not only be kind towards each other but also encouraging the audience to understand their feelings. This is an approach towards understanding oneself and others that happens to be very applicable to life in general, even for adults; both series float a balance of being pragmatic and yet humanistic, kind to the struggles and internal thoughts of all of the characters within, and have a surprisingly nuanced look at what it means to take part in conflict and what the “best thing to do” in such a case is.

As said above, this is a long and complicated meta, and it’s to the point where I’ve considered separating it into multiple parts or posts, but in the end could never bring myself to because of how interrelated all of these topics keep ending up with each other. So, to spare those of you who are intimidated by the sheer length and winding-topic nature of this, here are the main points:

One who is not emotionally ready to fight, or is unwilling to fight, should not be forced to fight. On top of it being inhumane, emotional exhaustion is treated much in a way similar to physical exhaustion; especially in a world where fighting strength is linked to emotional will, one whose heart is not in it will not even be able to effectively fight in the first place. Even when joining the fight is the obvious ideal solution, one who needs to sit out should not be blamed or scorned for it. A choice to fight is exactly that, a choice, not an obligation; the world is messy and imperfect, and the most you can do is try to do whatever you can within the best of your ability. If you do, there is no reason you should be scorned for it.

There are many meaningful ways to contribute to the overall fight that don’t necessarily involve direct physical violence; those ways are still valuable and necessary, and those more attuned to those roles should embrace those roles if it makes them more comfortable to do it that way.

If an extreme result -- such as killing the enemy -- is reached, it needs to be done with the first and foremost priority being to protect people and prevent casualties. A diligent effort should still be made to preserve as many lives as possible (which means this isn’t something where you get to go all “knight templar” and beeline for a violent solution) -- but sometimes, there will be times when push comes to shove and that most extreme solution will have to be reached, even if that “enemy” was originally a friend, because inaction will very obviously lead to more people being hurt.

When a dispute about important points like the above is reached, everyone’s feelings must be acknowledged. This is not to be confused with philandering around with a “both sides have a point!” compromise; in fact, Adventure and 02 both make very firm stances on the above issues. Rather, it makes it clear that said points need to be made while not invalidating the other person for having those feelings -- that is to say, there’s a huge difference between “your opinion is wrong” and “you are stupid and unreasonable for having that wrong opinion.” Dispute resolution and understandings can only be reached when you properly understand why the other person came to that conclusion, and treat them with proper empathy and compassion while you try to work it out. You don’t have to acknowledge their point, but you have to acknowledge their feelings. (For those of you who have seen Appmon: Shinkai Haru is a master at this technique, and there are multiple times during the series where he will very assertively make his case against others while still appealing to the other person’s feelings and never denying their right to have them. This is also an extremely useful technique for dispute resolution in general, and I recommend that those reading this consider employing it more often, at least assuming you’re dealing with someone who’s open to listening.) Likewise, to truly reach out to someone and support them also requires understanding their feelings -- you can’t truly “support” them unless you’re capable of doing so.

There is a certain limitation in which adhering too closely to “moral principles” ends up becoming impractical, and don’t end up contributing to anything in the long run -- fixating over things like grudges, revenge, “punishing” people, and even the concept of forgiveness can quickly turn into platitudes. The best way to move forward is to not fixate on those principles or get hung up on the past, and rather think “now that we’re at this point at the current moment, what’s the best way to move forward in a way that helps others the most and minimizes harm?”

Adventure and the morality of fighting, and the necessity of personal choice

Believe it or not, the question of how feasible pacifiism is was first brought up as early as Adventure episode 12, when Takeru states that he has no intention of fighting Devimon. Elecmon calls this mindset out for the naivete of thinking they can just waltz up to Devimon and ask for answers instead of him trying to murder them on the spot -- and, in fact, he is completely right, because Devimon is not someone who can be reasoned with and indeed immediately tries to murder everyone on the spot one episode later, which results in Angemon’s death and Takeru trading out this very idealistic, naive mindset for the no-compromise, strict anti-darkness stance he takes in 02.

So there are two things to get out of this. The first is that, while Adventure and 02 are certainly very idealistic series, they are absolutely not naive. There are bad actors out there like Devimon who can’t be reasoned with whatsoever. Already off the bat, we have a clear statement from Adventure that an “everyone should stop fighting and get along!” mindset, when applied ad absurdum, is not going to get anyone very far.

The second is that none of the Adventure (or 02) kids like fighting. Takeru’s reaction here is certainly as extreme as it is because the idea of “fighting” presumably triggers his trauma from his parents’ divorce and the resulting split, but there’s no actual indication that any of these kids are necessarily fond of it. Certain ones like Taichi might get a little cocky midway through the battle when they’ve gotten it in the bag and are on an adrenaline high, but there’s also no indication that they’re interested in beating stuff up for the sake of it. Note that all of the fighting in Adventure episodes 1-10 was done out of sheer self-defense, and no Digimon was killed in any of the resulting battles (we’ll assume that the giant Bakemon in episode 11 doesn’t count mainly because it’s already dead) -- it was always fighting to the minimal amount to chase the attacking Digimon away or get them off their back. And, in File Island, that was possible -- but starting from the Server Continent and after, the hostile Digimon were actively out to kill them instead of just being territorial wild Digimon, forcing the Chosen Children to up the ante in order to survive.

The issue of “whether fighting in itself is the right thing to do” is brought back in the Dark Masters arc, and this is also where we start getting a discussion about the disparity between “the right thing to do” and “whether one is capable of doing said right thing to do”. Mimi, the most emotionally sensitive of the group, starts having an emotional breakdown over whether they should keep fighting and potentially drag in more casualties -- especially because the Digimon that had died had all done it for their sake in order to continue the fight, and therefore the Chosen Children are indirectly responsible for their deaths. Yamato thus explains the difficulty of the situation: he himself agrees that Taichi’s evaluation of the need to push forward and continue the fight is the right thing to do, but it’s inhumane to not consider the stress and and emotional toll this is causing and force everyone to continue in spite of that.

In addition, Taichi’s reasoning for why they should continue is “revenge” -- a very negative, spiteful reason very tied to “fighting for the sake of it”. It’s understandable for Taichi to have these feelings, but he’s going at it from the wrong direction, and he’s overall being very insensitive in this scene. Later, in Adventure episode 45, he says that he’s doing it for the sake of honoring the Digimon who died for them. In other words, a lot of the reason Taichi’s methodology isn’t working is that he’s hung up on “the principle of things”, and not the more pragmatic reasons one should fight.

In Adventure episode 45, the kids finally meet the entity who chose them in the first place, who self-identifies as “the one who wishes for stability” -- the novels name them “Homeostasis”. Note the name -- it refers to the maintenance of internal balance within a living system, and Homeostasis themself starts their long infodump with their motive: it’s not that they want to eliminate all darkness from the world entirely, but that the powers of evil are upsetting the balance so badly that everything will be consumed if something isn’t done. It’s not like they’re insistent on violence either -- it’s just that they have a world to protect. The novels give us a particular amount of extra information on this entity, namely that it is not an omnipotent god by any shake of the imagination (in fact, there’s even an implication that there are higher powers that they themself don’t understand), and rather just a mere security system that observed that things were going south and used its rather limited methods of communication (via the Agents) to help make preparations.

Regardless, back to the episode -- we learn that the reason this entity recruited human children into all of this was because of the Hikarigaoka incident in 1995, which displayed to them and the Agents that a bond between children and Digimon could allow Digimon to evolve spontaneously, something that’s not possible with Digimon in the Digital World alone. Oh, and also, that they’ve been wanting to talk to them since File Island, and this entire thing about being cryptic with information was because they literally had no body and there was a massive amount of information loss after the Dark Masters blew up the Agents’ base and killed everyone except Gennai. In other words, just like with all of the actions the Chosen Children had been taking up until this point, everything Homeostasis and the Agents did was out of desperation because they were running out of other options to save their world, and during their brief time of being able to speak with the children, Homeostasis dumps pretty much everything they need to know and speaks to them using the extremely deferential sonkeigo form, meaning that they consider everything the kids are doing to be a massive favor to them. (Contrary to common belief, their possession of Hikari’s body does not seem to be non-consensual, given that they spend multiple episodes trying to contact her, and are clearly depicted having a proper conversation with her before temporarily borrowing her body.)

Most importantly, at the end of their speech, Taichi asks them what to do next, and the response is effectively: “We don’t know, but we trust you to make the best decision.” So, again: fighting as a Chosen Child is not an obligation, but something done because they want to do it and can. They were handed the tools to get this done by Homeostasis and the Agents, who believed in their potential to create miracles and be virtuous people and do something to save their world beyond what the native Digimon could do alone out of desperation and a lack of other options, and they are not hovering over the Chosen Children to see if they’ve “succeeded” or “failed” (note that they seem to have no sense of grudge or disappointment over Taichi’s SkullGreymon stunt in Adventure episode 16, explaining it very neutrally as an example of a risk), but more “we believe you were the best people who were able to do it and we trust your ability to help us.” (This is especially because, while it’s made clear they’d been wanting to contact them for a while, their most direct intervention comes right after Yamato had questioned why they were chosen in the first place -- presumably, they felt that the kids deserved an answer.)

At the end of Adventure episode 45, Mimi, considering the fighting they’re doing to be responsible for all of the fallouts and the sacrifices, decides that she won’t participate anymore, and Jou decides to stay with her in order to convince her to come back (although the novel also reveals that he himself is having doubts, too). Very importantly: nobody begrudges Mimi for being emotionally overwhelmed and sitting out, and nobody even begrudges Jou for choosing to stay with her. This is smack in the middle of the Dark Masters arc when everyone needs all the support they can get -- but after everything that had just happened, it’s inhumane to force either of them forward in this condition.

Despite his doubts, however, Jou himself is already coming to understand the limits of “pacifism” at a time like this:

What he wanted to tell her was this: that he didn’t see any likelihood of co-existing with the Dark Masters, and that they had no other choice but to fight them. Even a neutral country like Switzerland had a military. They would be invaded by enemy countries without one. It would be nice and ideal if they used the nonviolent resistance approach as Ghandi did. But that didn’t mean it was okay to just be killed without lifting a finger… But not even he could find a good answer.

Again: Adventure and 02 are an idealistic series, but they are not naive. It would be nice if the fighting could all stop and everyone would be happy, but there are malicious bad actors who will take advantage of you sitting there and doing nothing.

And so, Leomon dies in Adventure episode 47, and Mimi and Jou learn the hard way: if they do nothing, people will still die. Mimi had witnessed all of the Digimon sacrificing themselves for the Chosen Children’s sake, and thus had followed the logic that their friends would stop dying for them if they stopped fighting, but now that they’ve stopped fighting, said malicious forces (in this case, MetalEtemon) went ahead and killed their friends anyway -- and they’ve gone and destroyed the Village of Beginnings to boot, preventing any of them from being reborn. So in other words, if the intent is to “prevent casualties”, as it turns out, inaction didn’t actually prevent casualties.

Nevertheless, Mimi does not like fighting. In fact, Jou doesn’t like fighting either. Both of them now understand that it’s the best thing to do in this situation, but is it really the best thing to do to force them into embracing violence because of this? Instead, Jou determines in Adventure episode 50 that the overall fight doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone has to jump in and get violent -- the likeable and friendly Mimi has started to cultivate a skill in getting other people to rally behind her, and Jou is starting to consider that he may have a future in treating the wounded and supporting people before they become casualties. Those are still valuable ways they can contribute without forcing them into doing things they can’t bring themselves to do -- and, indeed, Mimi’s rallied army ends up saving everyone’s rears in Adventure episode 52.

While Taichi is not there to personally witness this discussion, Adventure episode 50 has him make a slightly less reckless tactical plan, and he explains (directly citing what happened with Yamato, Mimi, and Jou as his rationale) that he’s learned that he needs to take into account the potential for there being collateral damage. Recall that, earlier, his motive for doing things had been on a sheer principle level, with a lot of negative emotions of spite and revenge. But now, he’s come to understand that the most important thing he needs to do is to “prevent sacrifices”, and that’s the reason they still need to fight. Hence, why Taichi makes a proper plan for doing it instead of just doing the first and most aggressive thing that comes to mind, since he’s a soccer captain and has the potential for being a bird’s eye tactician, after all -- this time, he just needs to channel it in a way that prioritizes the lives of people around them.

And in Adventure episode 51, when reaching out to Sora (who’s cracking under all of her self-imposed expectations and sense of duty to others), Yamato and Jou take what they learned from Homeostasis six episodes prior and apply it -- Sora is working under the mentality that they have an “obligation” to get this done and that they are impending “failures” if they don’t (and, to be fair, if they don’t make it, the world is going to end, which is pretty unambiguously terrible). But what Yamato and Jou do is reframe it to fall more closely under the philosophy of what Adventure is saying here -- the fact they can do something about it is already absolutely incredible. (I mean, not to sugarcoat the fact that the world is still going to end if they pull it off, but the stress, self-hatred, and self-blame of “we’re failures for not pulling it off” is definitely not going to help.) They are doing everything they can right now, within their reasonable abilities. If they end up not being able to do it, that’s not something that should be considered a sin or a failure on their part; they are here because they can and want to and are doing it and are here to make the best possible use of that.

It’s one of the many times Adventure and 02 will make this statement, indirectly or directly: despite the title of “Chosen Child”, the Chosen Children do everything they do because of their own choices, and because they want to, not because they have to.

We finally meet Apocalymon in Adventure episode 53, and we learn that he(?)’s a combined spirit made up of all of the Digimon that were “eliminated” and failed during the evolution process, and is deciding to take out its anger and spite at the world out on everyone else by “denying evolution” (this is clarified in the novel to also be the reason it subtly influenced the prior enemies to destroy everything and especially the Village of Beginnings, because it functionally would put an end to the Digital World’s evolution by reducing it to nothing). So, in the end, we have a contrast between Apocalymon, who’s fighting for the sake of self-centered spite (including wanting to take down everything with it in Adventure episode 54 even when its demise is already clear), and the Chosen Children, who are fighting to protect their loved ones.

Incidentally, we also learn in Adventure episode 53 that there were Chosen Children who put an incomplete seal on Apocalymon prior to the ones in 1999. (Kizuna also introduces Menoa Bellucci, who became a Chosen Child in 1997, and assuming you’re following Adventure’s background doubling-every-year lore, at the time of 1999, there were a whole eight other Chosen Children besides Taichi’s group in existence.) The novels make it clear that the time dilation and distortion was going all the way up until the defeat of Apocalymon, long enough that the partners of those older Chosen were able to evolve to the Holy Beasts (and possibly enough for said older Chosen to get really faded through Digital World history to the point even Gennai doesn’t know about them). So the point here is that in the grand scope of the entirety of Digital World history, Taichi and his friends are not particularly singular existences -- there are people who saved the world before them, and 02 will introduce people all over the world who are going on their own adventures (including the main 02 kids in Tokyo), and, of course, by the time of the 02 epilogue, everyone’s going to have a Digimon partner. Koushirou later observes in Two-and-a-Half Break that there’s nothing special about having a partner in itself.

Does that make Taichi and his friends’ adventure of self-growth and saving a whole two worlds somehow insignificant, just because it’s not particularly unique? No. Because, again, they did this all not because of whether Homeostasis chose them or not, but because all of it was operated by their own will and strength and desire to protect others, all within the restraints of what they could feasibly do and handle, and they are amazing people for pulling that off.

02 and the importance of mutual understanding (and, also, more about the morality of fighting)

Before we proceed onto the 02 analysis, I think it’s important to establish a bit of important context about how 02′s lead protagonist, Daisuke, approaches things, and how it relates to the recurring debates on the morality of fighting throughout the series. In 02 episode 14, we learn that Daisuke was captured at Big Sight during the Odaiba Fog incident, and therefore witnessed, firsthand, the threat of Vamdemon’s lackeys attacking innocent civilians (something that Miyako, who witnessed the self-contained Omegamon vs. Diablomon battle on the Internet, and Iori, who only happened to be on a grounded plane after the Vamdemon fight had already ended, did not quite have anything on the par of). Spring 2003 and the Adventure novels elucidate what was going on in his head at the time: he was frustrated at his inability to protect his loved ones, and wished to have the power to fight the “bad guys” who were threatening everyone.

Remember this for later.

Moving onto 02 itself. 02 is a series about relationships, but, more significantly, it’s a series about the sheer amount of work it takes to maintain relationships, and especially the principle that “maintaining a relationship to another person requires being properly aware and understanding of the other person’s feelings.” One thing that often frustrates me about a lot of media (both kids’ shows and non-kids’ shows) and, well, to be honest, a lot of people in general, is the preaching of supposedly “positive” platitudes that actually go straight into what’s called “toxic positivity” for good reason -- because while it’s ostensibly “positive”, it also denies other people’s feelings, waving away everything negative and going “yeah, well, positivity!” and “optimism!” and “power of friendship!” and all sorts of stuff that are actually dismissive because they’re not showing any real effort to properly understand the other party and acknowledge why they feel this way. Like, sure, you may be telling someone to cheer up, but it also carries an (accidental or otherwise) implication of “you’re irrational and stupid for being upset and you should be smiling all of the time because ~positivity~.”

There is a lot of conflict in 02 -- especially because the theme of the morality of fighting is even more relevant, particularly in the case of the added question of “when the enemy in question is not an unambiguously evil sadist but a former friend in trouble”, and later the question of how someone who’s done horrible things in the past but is clearly making an active effort to make up for it should be treated. Daisuke, 02′s lead protagonist and carrier of a lot of its main themes, is ostensibly a simple-minded idealist, but even his theory of “positivity” and “always moving forward” has a lot of nuance beyond what you would usually see in this kind of anime lingo.

Context is also very important here. Adventure and 02′s stance being about “doing the best you reasonably can in a given situation”, it also means that what might be the best thing to do will change depending on context. 02′s starting circumstances are very different from Adventure’s, because it starts off without the threat necessarily being immediately world-threatening -- certainly, they need to stop the Kaiser, but this is in the form of a long-term territory war with an enemy who (at the time) doesn’t appear at night, and it’s unclear just how long it’ll take. This means that when the threat is not immediately world-ending, none of the kids are ever given grief for prioritizing their own personal obligations in lieu of fighting.

Iori and Jou do choose to ditch their kendo lesson and prep school exam (respectively), but they make it clear that they did this out of personal choice, and in fact this conversation opens with Armadimon apologizing to Iori for giving him grief for not coming, because he thinks Iori is perfectly within his rights to have stuck with the lesson! Perhaps, if the world were to end in a few hours, it would certainly be pretty idiotic to insist on sticking with a kendo lesson or prep school, because those things aren’t going to exist anymore if the world ends, but this is a very long and drawn-out territory war with no known end, and it’s understandable that these kids need to maintain their life necessities while straddling the balance between the war and their lives as a whole.

Again, they’re doing the best they can, and being a Chosen Child is about doing things because they want to, not because they have to.

This is especially because the Kaiser himself attempts to exploit the meaning of a Chosen Child in 02 episode 3 -- again, being a “Chosen Child” means being trusted to do the right thing with what you’re given, but the Kaiser basically betrayed that trust, and nobody was able to stop him from exploiting it and attempting a takeover with it. And Ken takes that title of “Chosen Child” and interprets it to mean he’s entitled to all of this -- but the other kids are Chosen Children just like him, and (at this point) all of them are simply choosing to do whatever they want with that.

And on the flip side, you have the Adventure seniors, who are a little nerfed by the Dark Towers, but as far as the way the younger 02 kids see them goes, there is no doubt that the 02 kids respect them deeply and are practically reliant on their support and advice, and their experience and maturity in comparison to themselves. The episode that establishes most how in awe the 02 kids are of their seniors is 02 episode 17, where they learn the details of the adventure in 1999, and so it’s not about how much combat power they’re displaying right now but rather how much experience they have in doing such amazing things. Likewise, their seniors are frustrated at their inability to help -- not because they see it as some obligated duty, but because they see their juniors trying their best to deal with an ongoing crisis and want to help, resulting in them providing support roles such as covering for them with a camp trip in 02 episode 18 and allowing them to do a long-term Digital World stakeout. For this, the younger 02 kids adore them and give them all of their respect.

02 episodes 10-11 are significant in juxtaposing the themes of “conflict” and “understanding each other’s feelings” -- at the end of 02 episode 10, we see Yamato punch Taichi, but he holds his hand to him right after, indicating that Yamato punched him not out of anger or condescension or scorn over Taichi’s hesitation to fight Agumon, but rather simply to snap him out of it for his own sake, knowing he wouldn’t take it offensively, so in other words, what looked like a “conflict” on its face was actually communication between the two, with neither of them treating each other with scorn.

The conflict at the end of the episode is over whether they should run the risk of killing Agumon in the process of fighting him to get him back from the Kaiser’s Evil Spiral-induced brainwashing (note that this is about the risk, since it’s not necessarily guaranteed they’ll have to kill him, and they still of course need to make a conscientious effort to prevent that outcome). Yamato, however, frames it in terms of very practical matters, and even takes Agumon’s own feelings into it while he’s at it: if they pull back purely for the sake of not running that risk, Agumon will end up being the Kaiser’s slave and killing machine and nothing will be resolved, whereas if they run the risk, the best outcome is that Agumon is saved (which is, fortunately, what happens!), and the worst outcome is that he’s killed, which is still a preferable outcome to him having to remain the Kaiser’s brainwashed slave used to kill other things en masse.

02 episode 11 further explores the theme of conflict in the face of “understanding each other’s feelings”, as it starts off with a fight between Daisuke and Takeru on the grounds of whether it’s okay to risk killing Agumon. Takeru’s stance is to side with Taichi’s decision, even if he doesn’t like it (again: just because some of these kids are able to make these decisions doesn’t mean they like it, and they’re doing it not because they’re callous but because they’ve thought hard about it and have decided it’s the best option they have!). Daisuke, being a bleeding heart, is appalled that Takeru could so easily endorse killing Taichi’s partner, and the two fight.

Note that the series does not “both-sides” this issue -- Taichi and Takeru’s stance is basically treated as the optimal course of action here -- but it also doesn’t invalidate Daisuke’s feelings of understandably being very shocked and appalled by this! Taichi and Yamato, in what initially seems like a violation of common sense, encourage them to be allowed to continue fighting, saying that it was essential to their friendship, and that confuses everyone present at the time -- but the meaning becomes clear by the end of the episode, when Takeru’s own Patamon is momentarily taken by the Kaiser and put at risk of himself becoming an Evil Spiral slave. Takeru blows up at Daisuke for hesitating (remember, this is one of his triggers), and eventually runs the exact same risk he’d advocated for Agumon with his own partner.

Remember what I said about “toxic positivity”? If everyone had just forced Takeru and Daisuke to shut up for the sake of “not fighting”, both of them might have remained angry at each other and stewing in silence, but because of the conflict, Daisuke himself personally witnessed Takeru run that risk for his own partner, presumably for the same reason (as much as the potential of Patamon being killed hurts him, the idea of Patamon being used as a killing machine is even more panic-inducing for him). With that, he understands that Taichi and Takeru made the decision to go ahead with this not out of callousness or cruelty, but because they sincerely felt they had to, no matter how much it pained them. Daisuke rails on himself for not understanding Takeru’s feelings better, and considering that he and Takeru never get in this vicious of a fight again, the point is: it wasn’t about whether they should form a friendship by fighting or not fighting in itself, it was about the fact that the two of them were able to get their feelings on the table, and that Daisuke was able to understand why Takeru endorsed what he did. (And this, too, is what it means for why Taichi and Yamato are friends now because they fought so much in the past -- back in Adventure, those fights ended up having them bare some very raw feelings to each other.)

While in the series itself, they’re successfully able to save Agumon anyway, Hurricane Touchdown presents a more unfortunate outcome of the “friendly fire” debate, in which Daisuke learns that the hostile Digimon kidnapping their seniors (and, later, a lot of other people) is Wallace’s own partner. Daisuke is so emotionally overwhelmed by this that he breaks down crying at the possibility of having to kill someone’s partner, knowing that he’d never be able to do something like this if it were V-mon, and Wallace gets him on board with an attempt to appeal to Chocomon without fighting.

This stance is not unreasonable, Wallace and Daisuke cannot be blamed for being hopeful, and, in the end, it’s admirable that they did make a conscientious effort to solve this with pacifism (again, this kind of attempt should be made, and it’s not good to beeline to the most violent solution for no reason). But unfortunately, once they meet Chocomon in the flower field, it turns out that not only is Chocomon beyond reason, he himself is also clearly out of his right mind and suffering through all of this, and Wallace finally relents and asks Daisuke to assist him in the fight (after having stayed in denial for half a movie about wanting to avoid this). Daisuke, witnessing all of this himself, agrees without hesitation, and eventually, it turns out that this decision for the best when Chocomon himself begs Gumimon and Magnamon to put him out of his misery, and them obliging (albeit hesitantly) allows him to have peace in death instead of suffering in life.

Hurricane Touchdown’s sequel drama CD, The Door to Summer, presents Daisuke with yet another dilemma with Nat-chan, who is also clearly suffering in quite a similar vein (the parallel is directly drawn). In the end, the same conclusion is reached -- Nat-chan is unfortunately killed, but is able to find release.

02 episode 16 presents an argument about the limits of ethical principles instead of approaching things practically, when Iori considers himself a horrible person for having told a lie to get Jou out of an important exam. This is mainly just about a lie, but in terms of Iori’s character arc and its relevance to 02′s themes as a whole, the point here is that there is a certain point where being too stuck on “the moral principle” of things instead of thinking practically is actually selfish in some sense. If Iori hadn’t lied, he’d get maybe one more point of moral integrity, and then everyone would have suffocated to death -- compared to lying and therefore everyone for the most part benefiting (Jou’s very happy to help his juniors and save them from, well, literally suffocating, after all). This topic becomes very important later when it turns out to be generally applicable to the wider morality of fighting that the kids later face in the series’s final cour.

The disparity between “moral principles” and “what actually happens in practice” also shows up in 02 episode 19, when Takeru loses his composure and starts punching out the Kaiser. Is the Kaiser a horrible person (at this point) who totally deserves this? Absolutely! Are we as the audience getting a lot of catharsis seeing his face punched out? Probably! But at the same time, railing at the Kaiser with unbridled anger is also...not actually accomplishing anything! Instead, Takeru’s just getting a few moments to stew in some really unhealthy emotions and uselessly punching out the Kaiser while nothing productive is getting done, and it’s also contributing heavily to his emotional isolation from Iori (and the rest of the group) because he’s not coping with it in a healthy way at all. Takeru’s feelings are certainly understandable (again: the episode is absolutely framing this in such a way that you’re inclined to take his side), but at the same time, being malicious about this is not actually practically making any headway.

One of the major reasons I’m covering all of these seemingly unrelated topics in one post is that all of them end up having a massive combined amount of relevance to the narrative behind Ken discarding the Kaiser persona, and how he comes to integrate himself with the group. On the surface, the storyline seems to be simply that Ken learned the error of his ways and tried to stop drowning in regrets, and Daisuke’s idealistic personality reached out to him and helped him heal. That said, there’s quite a bit more going on than just that.

A theme going on behind Ken’s character arc for the second half of 02 is one that probably seems a bit unusual for an idealistic kids’ show, but the point that ends up being made quite often is that whether Ken should be “forgiven” for his actions is a rather immaterial question. 02 episode 23 has a bunch of Baby Digimon rail on him, and remind him that he will never be able to take that back. There is nothing in either world that will erase those actions or make them retroactively justified or pushed under the bridge. The only thing he can do is accept the fact that it happened, whether he likes it or not, and determine what to do from here in terms of taking responsibility and making things right.

And this ends up having an influence in how Daisuke advocates for him, and how the rest of the group reaches out to him...

First of all, Daisuke being the most open-minded about Ken was not blind optimism. There’s no evidence that he was actually all that emotionally receptive to Ken or interested in being his friend before 02 episode 25. However, Daisuke also does not advocate for “punishing” Ken or kicking him while he’s down -- because that won’t accomplish anything, and Ken is clearly not in a state to be wreaking more havoc right now. Daisuke remembers the footage of Ken’s parents crying on screen, and determines what would be the first course of action to fix this situation -- and thus, he tells Ken to “go home”, because whatever Ken did in the past and no matter how much the team resents him right now, they are in this situation, with a boy who’s clearly not going to cause any more trouble right now and a family that’s hurting by his absence, and the very least he can do is do something productive from here on out.

Hence, at the end of 02 episode 24, when it turns out that Ken’s back and saved them from Thunderballmon, Daisuke decides to be optimistic about him and start the process of emotionally reaching out, but, again, it’s not blind optimism -- he sees what Ken did and takes this to mean “okay, clearly he’s not going to do bad things anymore, so regardless of whatever he did in the past, he’s helping out now, so we should check in with how he’s doing and let him help out.”

This is, of course, enhanced by the fact that Daisuke had communicated with the Crest of Kindness in 02 episode 20, but there’s also another layer to this: the major point of dispute between him and Miyako in 02 episode 25 (with both of them generally being rather open-minded about Ken otherwise) is in regards to the fact Ken and Stingmon were responsible for killing Thunderballmon in the prior episode. Come the climax of 02 episode 25, it is made clear that if Golemon successfully destroys the dam, the results will be absolutely disastrous, and there will probably be an incredible amount of casualties. Here, Daisuke himself is the first person to realize that killing Golemon may become a requirement (Ken is not actually a part of his initial comment) -- that is to say, most likely, the reason he’s willing to give Ken the benefit of the doubt about Thunderballmon is that he himself is understanding of that potential mindset (especially since 02 episode 43 does indeed establish Daisuke as being the first to accept it).

Recall that, between Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori, Daisuke was personally involved three years prior in a large incident with an unambiguously malicious Digimon that was about to claim a ton of victims -- he’s a bleeding heart, sure, but he’s also a bleeding heart for the potential victims, and the one thing that ate at him during the time of the Vamdemon incident was that he couldn’t do anything to protect everyone. Therefore, he’s the most receptive to this potential conclusion because he doesn’t want to see victims like that again. Not only that, Takeru and Hikari (having witnessed similar conclusions back in Adventure) are also very quick to point out that this might be an inevitability -- it’s just Miyako (who, in her emotional passion, is desperate to find a way out and clinging onto the hope that they won’t have to) and Iori (who considers doing such an act “no better than him” -- again, see the fixation on “moral principle” and “being above him”) who are so vehemently against it.

In the end, it turns out that Golemon is a Dark Tower Digimon (and therefore not sentient), and everyone’s left off the hook for now, but the reason this is still important is that through this, Miyako learns that Ken -- someone whom everyone was side-eyeing for potentially lapsing back into his cold, callous ways after supposedly having given up the Kaiser mantle -- was not out to kill (and, indeed, when the first kill inevitably happens in 02 episode 43, Ken is just as shaken about it as Miyako and Iori). The important part is that Miyako, and later the other kids, accepted Ken not out of some principle of optimism or forgiveness, but because they came to understand his position and feelings. All of the kids accepted Ken on their own terms after understanding his feelings and position better via interacting with him and hearing his own testimony -- they came to understand his mindset, what he’s been through and what he’s planning to do from here on out, and, most importantly, that he needs support really, really badly right now.

Which extends not just to Ken, but also everyone’s relationships here in general. Daisuke broke through to Ken and kicked off their first Jogress in 02 episode 26 because he proactively listened to everything Ken was saying and what he wanted to do, and correctly identified that Ken very desperately wants to take responsibility, so he talks him out of a reckless suicide mission by pointing out that all of his attempts to not make his family sad and to make up for everything he’s done are going to amount to nothing if he just throws his life away like this. In 02 episode 31, Miyako listens to Hikari’s troubles and her compulsion to not speak out for herself and reaches out to her successfully via promising to be there for her so she doesn’t have to slink into passive resignation. And in 02 episodes 34-36, Iori makes an active effort to understand Takeru’s mentality and why he has the drastic personality shifts he does, and communicates to Takeru that he wants to understand him better. So the point is: the 02 kids were able to successfully connect with each other and become deeper friends because they made an active attempt to listen to each other’s troubles and address the core of what they needed. They were only able to become “supportive” once they understood everything.

(02 episode 36 also has a moment where Iori’s about to rail off at everyone for not taking the fight seriously, before Armadimon reminds him that he’s starving -- again, it is very inhumane to ignore other needs and force everyone to keep fighting endlessly just because they theoretically can.)

We do meet the representative who claims credit for choosing Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori as Chosen Children in 02 episode 37 (Qinglongmon, representative of the Holy Beasts), and he explains the process of why they sent the kids what they did in order to retrieve Ken from the deep end. Notably, Qinglongmon admits that even the Holy Beasts were blindsided by a few things and adapted the situation as they saw fit (they didn’t originally expect the kids to be able to use multiple Digimentals at first). More importantly, this was, again, all a bit of a desperation move, because this was about as much as the Holy Beasts could manage, being sealed and drained of power and all.

Also, while retrieving Ken from the deep end was on the list of things the Holy Beasts set out to do, “everyone becoming Ken’s friend” was not necessarily on that agenda. Again: that was something that these kids chose to do on their own, by observing Ken’s actions and feelings and choosing to connect with him.

The episode ends with BlackWarGreymon going off on a journey of angst, and: note that the kids decide to drop the issue for the time being. Again, they’re operating not on a philosophy of grudge or whether one should get retribution for their actions, but what the likelihood of bad things continuing to happen is from here on out, and at this point in time, it doesn’t seem very likely, so there’s no point in pushing the issue or pursuing him.

Nevertheless, the morality debate over killing still remains looming over everyone’s heads, with Iori also realizing in 02 episode 29 that there are such things as Digimon that just want wanton destruction and cannot be negotiated with. The fact that the Adventure kids were put in world-threatening situations three years prior and are already far past this question is directly acknowledged in 02 episode 43, with Taichi advising Hikari that this harsh truth is going to hit the other four sooner or later, before it does eventually happen at the end of the episode. (Hikari visibly winces during her conversation with Taichi; again, none of the Adventure kids ever liked this.) And, in the end, predictably, Iori, Miyako, and Ken take it hard -- but Daisuke is the first to point out what would have happened if they didn’t do it. Namely, that the victims would have far outnumbered the Digimon they just killed.

It is, of course, good to be conscientious and not beeline for the most violent solution, and, again, context is important here -- in the situation provided, SkullSatamon was holding up a bus and split seconds away from murdering everyone in it. Had everyone refrained for the sake of morality, just like how Iori refraining from lying back in 02 episode 16 would have actually been selfish in a sense, here, the only claim you get to say after refraining is “well, I wasn’t the one who caused the harm.” Inaction would have caused the deaths of all of the young children in the bus; there would have been casualties either way.

Miyako and Iori are forced to face this truth again in 02 episode 44, with both of them being emotionally compromised by the reality of what they just did. In both cases, Hikari and Takeru step in to remind them what they’re doing this for, by pointing out the victims that would have been killed had they done nothing. Miyako and Iori are not at fault for being emotionally compromised or doing their best to prevent it -- it’s just that there’s only so much they can blame themselves for when they’re now directly faced with the potential victims in front of them.

Iori had already been grappling with this potential for several episodes now, so while he still takes it hard, more attention is given to Miyako’s reaction -- especially since she herself was the victim who was about to be murdered by LadyDevimon had Silphymon not done the kill. The voice acting and lack of Tailmon’s presence in Silphymon’s apology to Miyako implies very heavily that it was the Aquilamon side who took over and did it in a last-ditch effort to save Miyako’s life -- and he’s emotionally destroyed by it himself too, because he did it out of love for Miyako, and yet betrayed her request to not go for the kill. In the end, Miyako is forced to confront the fact that this was done out of love and a desire to protect, not a callous and malicious intent to murder, and comes to terms with it.

However, again: the series continues to reiterate that people who are not emotionally up for it should not be obligated to force themselves to do it. The beginning of 02 episode 45 has Takeru directly advise Iori that he shouldn’t do this out of obligation if he isn’t up for it -- remember that Takeru will only be able to fight with Shakkoumon if Iori is present, meaning that he’s perfectly willing to give up his ability to fight effectively because it’s not fair to force Iori to do it. This is not a series that advertises that everyone embrace the spirit of killing things and numb themselves to it. This entire situation sucks.

However, Iori makes it clear: he understands everything, and has decided to do it himself, because he understands the stakes and what it’s going to take to actually protect people.

Which is also reiterated in 02 episode 48 -- after witnessing the deaths of Archnemon and Mummymon at the hands of BelialVamdemon, everyone is shaken to the core. It should be established that the kids didn’t have much reason to sympathize with or like the two of them at this point, because everything we learned about them was from the audience’s point of view -- as far as the kids knew them, they were just two really rude and cruel Digimon who wanted wanton destruction. Yet even they are emotionally pained to see them die in such a cruel manner, and it causes everyone to hesitate -- even Daisuke, who does push forward because he knows what’s at stake, but still has to take a moment to collect himself.

Seeing what Daisuke’s about to do, Ken tries to force himself to join Daisuke so that Daisuke will at least not be alone (note that he actually says upfront that he’ll join!) -- but Daisuke notices that Ken’s heart isn’t in it, and actively advises him to sit out. Is the world in immediate crisis? Absolutely! But there is no scorn to be had for people who are emotionally falling apart right now and unable to get themselves to do it -- Daisuke even says himself that they won’t be able to fight effectively with Ken like this.

We close this analysis on a return to the concept of forgiveness and moving forward, and we learn in 02 episode 48 that Ken has two parts to his internal wishes: he wants the Kaiser (himself) to be “punished”, and he wants “forgiveness” from his deceased brother Osamu. Both of those things will certainly make him feel a little better emotionally, but they also won’t accomplish anything -- the “Kaiser” doesn’t exist anymore, so what good will that “punishment” do besides a little catharsis for the victims? And he can continue chasing after this standard of “whether he’s suffered enough” like it’s some numerical tally, but that’s not going to get him anywhere either, and it’s why Wormmon has to chase out even that ostensibly happy image of Osamu. Osamu is long gone, and is not going to return, and the question of whether Ken should be “forgiven” is rather immaterial. It’s not about whatever happened or didn’t happen back then; it’s about what Ken is going to do now.

Actually, what is “forgiveness” anyway? At no point do the 02 kids ever actually say they “forgive” Ken for his actions. In Spring 2003, Iori also says he doesn’t forgive Oikawa for what he’s done, either. There’s nothing that will ever erase what they did or suddenly make those actions retroactively justifiable, and there’s no arbitrary payment that Ken or Oikawa could do to meet some kind of quota of forgiveness. But what the kids do recognize in Ken is that, regardless of whatever he did in the past, at current he is a young boy in intense emotional distress who has gone through a lot, is working very hard to make up for his mistakes, and needs all the emotional support he can get, and there’s no reason to hold a grudge against someone like that instead of continuing to support him and loving him for who he is now. Given that, does it matter whether they “forgive” him or not?

And even if Iori will never forgive Oikawa, he can still lament everything that happened to him and drove him to do everything, and appreciate the meaning of what he did for the Digital World in the end, and use this as a further lesson on what it means to understand people instead of stewing angrily in a grudge that’ll only hurt himself.

Ultimately, that is the theory behind Adventure and 02. The world is messy, imperfect, and doesn’t fit under neat rules of morality and “right” or “not right” that you can cram everything under. Despite that, there’s something to be appreciated in not throwing in the towel and continuing to do the best you reasonably can in every situation. It would be ideal if all of the fighting could stop, or if it were possible to make the “optimal” decision of fighting or not fighting in every situation regardless of human exhaustion or emotional compromise, but that’s just not something that’s possible, and there’s no reason to call oneself a “failure” for not holding yourself to that standard. And in the end, the answer is this: instead of fixating on all of those arbitrary things that don’t actually serve any practical purpose, the way to live your best life is simply to look at where you are now, think about what you can do from here on out (regardless of what happened in the past), and do your best to protect and be kind to yourself and those around you.

Of course, you must be kind to others. But you have to be kind to others by understanding what it takes and everything around it -- and then choose to be kind anyway.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #kizuna spoilers #shihameta

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fairydollsteps · 4 years ago

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Hey

Can I request Zenitsu with a female demon reader who lost her husband because of demons and was turned into a demon too and Zenitsu reminds her of her husband when they first meet so she just starts to cry and hug, cling to him? c:

Hello! I find your request interesting and I would love to write it down! :D I do hope you don’t mind if I describe the reader's relationship with Zenitsu is platonic instead just see Zenitsu like a family member as the reader would be a lot older than him, like an adult and also there will be some changes here and there but is related to your request. I do hope what I wrote is what you wanted! There will be a short scenarios about the reader past and some headcanon along with it too. Enjoy reading! 💖

Zenitsu with a Sisterlike Demon Friend

The happiness that you thought would last forever with your dear husband was shattered into countless pieces

It all happens during the night where you and your husband were eating dinner together. The food served was delectable that you enjoy it so much. Just like how the demon enjoying itself devouring your husband after it has crashed into your home.

Just right before you were attacked by the vicious demon, your husband covers you and fights back. Even so, the demon has left you a severe wound that has its blood in it which you will suffer later on.

You were watching your husband fighting the demon back, watches his neck get bitten in the process while you try to stop your bleeding. He screamed at you to run and never come back, you can hear the anguish and pain in his voice.

You did what you were told by your husband out of fear and distress as you can’t handle another second to see the sight of your beloved getting killed. You head out of your house and run away, never looking back. You run as fast as you can, not noticing your blood dripping down from your wound, leaving a trail of blood behind you as you run.

You are turning into a demon as you kept running. It hurts physically but you ignored it and keep running but it worse as you can feel a sharp piercing pain from you wound. You collapsed down and started vomiting blood on the ground violently. Blood is also shedding from your eyes and you can feel your whole entire body tormented from this excruciating pain.

You are turning into a demon.

Now that all conclude the reader’s past, let dive into the headcanons part(cause I am lazy to put in so much effort in continuing this.)

You thought you are going to die at this point, what you didn’t know that the blood trail behind that you bled before has kill some demons with its lethal scent that was about to prey on you.

Little did you know, a young lady with butterfly hairpin both side, wearing a black uniform was watching the whole thing unfold. Watching you vomiting blood on the ground violently then collapsed unconscious.

The next thing you saw after you regain your conscious is where you in a cell. You also saw a bunch of people in different height and build. You also saw the young lady earlier right before you collapsed.

You expect yourself to be petrified because the people are glaring deep in to your soul but you felt nothing. Numb will be the right word for how you are feeling now when suddenly the lady you saw before walk up to you.

“Hello, I am Kanae Kocho. Please stay calm, we are not going to do anything with you. We just wanted to have a talk with you,” she said as she smile sweetly.

That’s when a man with a black shoulder length comes in. Kagaya Ubuyashiki.It’s his name you heard as he was introduced by his children.

He talks to you gently while you are in a cage with a soft smile. He asks you what had happened to you and you explains everything, the tragic events that you have to go through to him.

Of course, the people you saw earlier who were introduced as the Hashira, were suspicious about what you said but also shocked that you have saved many slayers from their corps.

Apparently, what they meant is that your Blood Demon Art has saved countless of lives from the corps where they were investigating the area you were in to hunt down demons.

None has died, only some suffer minor injuries.

Of course, there is some arguments here and there whether they should keep you as their most powerful weapon to hunt demons down or to just slay your head off for good.

It was then decided that the Demon Slayer Corps should keep you after Kanae express her opinion and concern that many casualties would happen if it wasn’t for your power and that you have no intention of killing humans.

Once all has been concluded, you were left to be alive instead getting your head cut off but you would many restrictions. You were later send to Tamayo and Yushiro to stay with them.

You started your lives with them. Tamayo welcomed you in warmly while Yushiro is just glaring at you which he soon get scolded by Tamayo.

Your Life as a demon

Let’s just say that, your husband’s death has put a huge impact on you deeply. You become cold and emotionless. The only person who you can trust for now is Tamayo as she also go through the same thing and also has similar demon technique.

You help her with creating medicine and stuff and soon become a doctor just like her.

Yushiro would later on have respect with you for how you work hard for Tamayo.

You don’t show it, you are disgusted of yourself for become a same species with the monster that has murdered your dear husband. You would left yourself a scar or cut on your face every time you see yourself in the mirror, just watching the blood drip down and hating yourself.

You don’t care about the injuries you had put on yourself cause it will regenerate itself anyway because you are a demon. You bottle and repress your feelings because you are demon and nobody care if you cry cause you are hated for what you have become. Even you never choose to become what you have become.

You are afraid of the thought of how your husband would think about because you have become a demon.

Because you are a demon.

You keep thinking about this often, degrading yourself while keeping a stern and empty face. Showing absolutely no emotions and weakness.

The only reason why you are still alive is because Tamayo was there to comfort you when you are feeling down although you never show it.

One day, you were the strolling around the street during the night. You just want to relax a bit from your mind. The street was dark and quiet. After all, you were out late in the night.

Until the silence was interrupted by a scream from a far distance. You follow it as it sounds like someone is in trouble and hopeless.

You saw a demon on your way, hobbling towards to you. You don’t care about it an annihilate it immediately using your blood demon technique.

That’s when the scream stops, you turn around and saw a blonde boy on top a tree, clinging tightly on one of its branches.

“IS IT DEAD ALREADY!?!?!??! IS IT!??! IS IT!!!! THAT THING WAS HELLA SCARY THAT I JUST RUN!!!!!! the boy screamed.

You walk to towards to the tree and reach out your hand to him.

“No worries, is gone now. Please come down. You might fall,” you said in a reserved turn.

“A-a-are you sure!!??!?!? Y-y-you s-should you k-k-killed it??? he said obviously not believing a word you say until he realized something. You are a demon.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! YOU JUST KILL IT WITH WHAT SEEMS LIKE A BLOOD DEMON ART!!! YOU ARE A DEMON!!!!?!?!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU SAVE ME!??!?! he yelled again after realisation hits him like a boulder.

That’s when you saw a clear image of the boy. He looks just like him. Your husband . You froze for a while and the way the boy knowing you are a demon reminds you all the past. The past that you wished to cover forever comes back.

Your knee drop and then you starts sobbing. All your hate and disgust on yourself is coming back at the same time and its too much for you to handle them anymore. You continue think how your late husband thinks of you. A monster? A strange creature? Not the person that he used to love?

You started to cry when the boy talks to you. “U-um...hey, I am s-sorry for w-what I mentioned earlier,” There is some fear in his voice but there is also some gratitude and sincerity in it. “E-even if you are a d-demon, you did s-save my life after all,”.

He still though keep his distance with you. You noticed a wound on his hand and some on the side of his forehead. You offer the boy to treat your wounds as it do looks pretty severe.

He was reluctant for a while until give in. You still keep your distance with him while tending him, as you do not wanted to scared him like before. Mainly because it makes you think that’s how your husband feel to you because the boy looks so much like your husband except the boy is blonde.

“What’s your name?” you ask. “U-um is Zenitsu A-agatsuma. You can call me Z-Zenitsu,” he answered. “I’m (Y/n) (L/N),”.

Once you finished tending him, you explain yourself a bit that you are working for Demon Slayer Corps along with Tamayo and Yushiro. Zenitsu soon trusted you a little after knowing that you are a no threat.

Just as he was about, you quickly propose to walk back with him as you are worry for his safety to go back.

You both begin to talk and knowing about each other as you both walk. You and Zenitsu enjoy together chatting and Zenitsu is smiling because he can finally talk to a women without making himself a complete fool and making himself look weird. You begin to smile and feel happy for the first time and forever after what you have gone through.

Your Relationship with Him

Once Zenitsu is comfortable with you, your relationship with him is quite similar with Tanjiro, Nezuko and Tamayo. Like Zenitsu helps you finally feel happy and makes you smile just like how Tanjiro and Nezuko makes Tamayo feel the loving feelings of a family.

You are pretty older than Zenitsu so Zenitsu calls you (L/N)-san as a sign of respect for you and you really appreciate it.

You begin visiting the Butterfly Estate during after for a long time just to see how Zenitsu is doing. Shinobu, of course was aware and distrustful with you but warm up a little after knowing that you just wanted to know how Zenitsu is doing after coming back from a mission. Shinobu started to welcome you when you come to visit and started to respect you after you are willingly to share some of your knowledge with poison and medicine with her. she stills don’t trust you but still has some respect and kindness for you.

Zenitsu would introduce you to his friends,Tanjiro and Inosuke. You heard a lot about them from Zenitsu during your conversation with him. Tanjiro would a little bit flustered because of how gorgeous you are and a little scared because you look so stern and cold but soon warm up to you after you treat him with kindness and respect. Inosuke would also like you after you give him some rice balls and shrimp that he becomes so touched that he was stucked for a while because of how generous you are and thinks you are some goddes or something.

Zenitsu would of course be pissed if these two were to hog your attention too much that he feels left out. You would of course meet Nezuko as both you and Nezuko suffered from the same tragedies.

Zenitsu won’t feel any romantic feelings for you because you are a lot older than him so instead, he sees you as like and elder sister and a role model.

You would act like a role model to Zenitsu. Always teaching him how to behave and collect himself when he lost his composure. Also giving him advice and so on. Zenitsu respect you deeply ever since then.

You would also act like a protective elder sister to Zenitsu. and zenitsu loves it. You would always check on him when he come back from a mission, making sure he is eating well, always making medicine for him when he is hurt and so on. You would sometimes offer to tag along a mission with Zenitsu so you can protect him and make sure he is alive. You did all of this for him because you do not want Zenitsu to suffer the same fate as your husband.

Speaking of your husband death, you have once mentioned your tragic past to Zenitsu and explained that he looks so much like your husband which explained why you are so protective and caring towards him. You also mention your hate and disgust on yourself for what you have become.

Then Zenitsu immediately freaks out after recalling your first meeting with hima and he apologies to you profusely. After feeling absolutely guilt for making you cry because of his overexaggerating reaction.

You reassure him that’s alright and is just that he didn’t know. He do still feels guilt though but you would give your sincere reassurance to him.

After you have talk about your past, he wanted to become stronger and more braver so you do not have to worry about him.

Zenitsu would come in a speed of lightning when he knows that you are upset on yourself and would try to comfort you. You really appreciate his effort in cheering you up.

You would also try to help Zenitsu in his training like explaining parts that he can improve and motivate him to continue fighting and training.

Because you are a demon and can’t walk under the sun, you and Zenitsu would hang out at the street markets or go shopping during the night. These memories you created with him are memorable and precious.

You were glad that you save Zenitsu from before as he has helps you heal the scar that was caused from your husband’s death.

All you wished for Zenitsu is for him alive and living happily.

Words: 2,340.....AAHAVIYQWVCKQW!!!! I am sorry that I got carried away for writing so much! I just have so many idea for this and would hate it so much to throw it away!!! This tooks me so long so likes and reblog would be deeply appreciated .Anyway, thank you for reading and have a good day!

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filmsthatdonotexist · 3 years ago

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The first thing you should know about this film is that, by all accounts, it should not exist.

It appears to be so expensive, so extensive in its use of locations, that surely some record of its creation should exist. But it simply does not. All names connected to the production appear to be aliases and It's location of production is unknown, presumed Italian due to many context clues, but with a few others within the film contradicting such, with a fictional rating of "H" described only on some copies as "Hastur," in a way totally unconnected to the MPAA, in a situation some have compared to a bizarre version of the situation surrounding the former "X" rating.

Its date of production is estimated at some time within the 1970s or 1980s, but the fact that this is such a wide margin of time is telling in and of itself, as is the fact that the film mainly appears to only survive in the form of copies of faded prints or in widely bootlegged VHS tapes; for there was never any copyright information attached to it as far as we know.

The plot is seemingly simple, a woman is in love with a gargantuan monster, and mutilates people in a way that, when they appear dead, they are transmogrified to monsters themselves, as she slowly transmogrifies and, in the end, realizes she has become the beast she seeks.

And yet, it is at once difficult to capture with how it scatters through time and space at once, at one point cutting from what seems to be the woman's origins as victim of occult abuse in a dungeon; to a pseudo-documentary that appears to become more surreal and unhinged in its description of the things happening in the film, to a montage of clips from multiple strange silent films thought by most scholars to be totally otherwise lost.

It can be compared to immensely; deliberately transgressive films like Sweet Movie or Saolo: 120 Days of Sodom, with large amounts of nudity; sexual assault; and gore, but it relies less on the scatological in those films but rather on the flesh itself, conflating through cinematic language the mutilation of the flesh through violence to the transmogrification of the flesh into monstrous forms through the unknown force.

Even amongst the undoubtedly expensive sets; location shooting; casting of extras; miniature effects for the Beast's rampages; and even the other creature effects; the transformation effects are egregious in their ostentatiousness, infinitely more extensive than even many contemporary high budget films could have afforded, and while there have been some online attempts to dissect how the effects were done; most parts remain a mystery; and some have speculated that certain effects may have been impossible by the effects of the era, in particular the mass-murder-transformation-orgy scene in the theatre.

The enigma of how it could have acquired such a budget is further enhanced by the many pornographic scenes therein, some hardcore, some softcore, though for most it is difficult to judge which is which due to the strange editing style of these scenes. Which could be compared to a film like Tinto Brass' Caligula in terms of pornography with a budget except for the fact that; again; there appear to be no actual records of this film's production despite its likely considerable expense.

But, the final disturbing thing is the fact that, while the footage of the actual film runs five hours, the actual runtime is at seven, occupied by multiple "Intermission" slots. Given the fact that there appear to be multiple cuts of the film with different footage added or missing in ways patchworked with these "Intermissions", these "intermissions" appear to be covering for two hours of missing footage in the film

There have been multiple attempts to assemble a "definitive cut," but there s still remains a missing thirty minutes, and all attempted producers of such cuts appear to have had psychological breakdowns after or shortly before completion. This becomes more disquieting when one notes the multiple records of people having physiological feelings of illness at watching "normal" cuts of the film, only abating at those Intermissions, with further physiological effects observed at those "definitive" cuts.

There have been few studies into whether the source is simply a self-imposed nocebo or something further, but those studies that have been done have had... disquieting results...

...

... ...

Kayfabe aside, this one was partially based on a dream of mine, which I shall recount to you in full because it is perhaps even more disturbing than the fictional film that came from it.

The dream involved me and a couple of friends (Not any particular friends, just generic ones) going into this strange "movie theatre" which was supposedly at Six Flags but looked to me more like the livestock area at our county fair.

It looked very dingy, though I'm not sure in the way of a school or of a 90s-era movie theatre, it may have been a mix. There were multiple stories in that building, which was far more spacious than the weird, tucked-off corner would indicate. I remember seeing what looked like a gross mildew-y empty olympic swimming pool through some of the windows, in the center of the building, no reason why.

There may or may not have been something moving there.

The films they showed in each room were... odd. One of them I distinctly remember was this descent down what looked like a regular multiplex theatre seats but far longer, going slowly down like a weird hybrid of dark ride and film, with "people" around me that looked like 2d sprites and these "screens" floating around with stock-art-like images. It overall gave me the vibe of a combination multiplex and the feeling of a grainy photograph of a decrepit carnival ride and Shutterstock, if that makes sense. I think I recall there was a laugh track, and this weirdly stock old-timey dance music.

Another one I remember was a crudely drawn/animated Pearl from Steven Universe as a bee violently stinging other bees in what seemed to be a gory-yet-sexualized matter.

But the one I remember most in the halls was that one poster, just green text on a black background (more minimalistic than my recreation), The Ghastly Love Of Beauty And The Beast, rated H. In the dream, I understood that H was for Hastur, and that it signified something terrible.

I opened up the door to go in, and it was not a conventional theatre, but rather, a strange room that looked like one of those rooms in a fancy Victorian-type house, but made entirely of hand-sculpted pottery clay glazed with a blue checkered pattern akin to cloth, like a weird mix of lumpiness and elegance, with an crudely hydraulically operated (Think like a carnival ride, adorned with the stuff the room was made of) elevator in the middle that opened up for us. I almost went down with my friends, but at the last minute, as it was descending, I got out, and ran away.

My friends did not make it...

#films that do not exist #body horror #anomalous media #horror movies #horror film

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harringtonheartache · 4 years ago

Text

Daybreak | Part Twenty-Two

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Lab Escapee! Reader?

Summary: Goal: enter the void.

Word Count: 3,000 +

Warning(s): Guns/gun violence, cussing

A/N: I return! Let’s fight! The gushy fluffy stuff will follow soon after, don’t worry.

The wall came down quickly this time; a short rumble that evolved into a strong blast. And then the wall was gone. All four who witnessed it did so only partially, as they flinched hard when it crumbled, and when they looked again it was over. Jonathan tried to put his legs to use, swinging them over couch arms and pillows as he staggered to the rest of the group.

“Should we expect company?” Hopper called out to whoever would answer.

There was a growl, a response from the wall itself, and the anticipation was resolved as a familiar no-face emerged from the demolition. It ducked it’s head as if too tall to fit through the entryway, and slime slid off it’s frame like shedded skin. Flaunting its lanky pairs of limbs, it pulled itself up and gave a low growl as if to say: “miss me?”.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Hopper responded.

He cocked his gun and pointed it sharply, three flinching as an offensively loud shot was taken.

The bullet was taken right in the mouth by the creature, and it stumbled, a reassurance to the sharp shooter. But it stood straight again a moment after, recovered promptly from it’s mild daze. It shook its head like a wet dog, and in a similar manner, gunk flew from its blurred figure. The growl from before had grown stronger with the creature’s rage, and it howled with matured volume.

“What is this thing?”

It wasn’t the first time Hopper asked this question, but it was the first time that the answer was right in front of him. He took two more shots and they landed in roughly the same spot, like the monster had swallowed them.

Steve curled his hands around his bat, his weapon of choice. One hand was drawn back quickly. Forgotten yet fresh, the cut on his palm stung at his imprudence. He looked to his hand, a spot of red daring to show through the white bandage, then wrapped it around the bat just as firmly as before.

“Fuck you,” he muttered as he twirled the bat, stepping forwards to strike.

The creature turned (a new target!) and caught the bat right in the neck. The wood hit with a smack and following came a screech; unhappy.

“Harrington, take a step back!”

Steve adjusted his footing, but stayed where he was. Another twirl and he landed another hit on the creature’s torso. At this point it was becoming a piñata.

Jonathan took Steve’s step back for him, then a few extra towards the back of the house. Joyce’s hand, curled into a claw, reached for her son’s fading arm. She turned when it completely slipped from her grip to see him jogging for the backdoor. She began to call out his name, getting through the first three letters before cutting herself off, breath shallow, turning back towards the action. Wobbly stature, she floated in the direction her son disappeared.

Hopper was grabbing Steve’s shoulder now, first from behind to pull him back, then maneuvering his hand to the kid’s front side to push him backwards. First asking, then taking charge. He tossed the barrel of his gun upwards to grab a hold of it again, aiming and firing another couple shots at his target. Steve threw his shoulders up, flinching, then took a breather as he watched the monster eat a few rounds from Hopper.

A few seconds longer and Jonathan reappeared behind him, knocking into his mother who had been half-way retreating herself. He gripped her shoulder strongly, then stepped in front of her with his own gun, retrieved from his father’s old shed out back. It was smaller in size compared to Hopper’s, but that made it easier to hold. He fit his hand around the metal with morale that would make you believe he had actually fired the thing more than a handful of times. In some part of his mind more present than he was then, he was grateful that his target was bigger than a tin can.

“I’m coming in,” he shouted to Hopper.

Taking his turn, he pulled the trigger rapidly, a grimace on his face and ire in his stance. After Jonathan’s fifth fire the creature seemed to have started feeling it, it’s once strong stature beginning to fold. As if restricted by another force, it batted aimlessly at the space before it in a blind attack of desperation. It struck out, though, and it’s sloppy movements began to make the scene look like a drunken bar fight.

One of it’s excessively long arms crashed into the coffee table beside it. While knocked around a fair amount, the old piece of furniture had managed to come out the other side of the first fight in one piece. Running low on luck, it was flipped with this strike and landed on it’s side in a rough commotion. Broken down the middle and now without one of its stubby legs, the table reflected just about everything else in the home. Cracked and with parts missing, it was a rather fitting analogy for the Byers’ residence. Slid from its surface was a stack of missing posters, and a few of them drifted off underneath the couch.

Joyce, in an alarming eruption, shouted at the creature before them as if angry for it’s rude behavior. She stepped forwards, and with a rage that had been boiling longer than she had realized, grabbed the gun from her son. He let her take it and forfeited the stage as she lined up her shot, firing more rounds than he had. Almost too fast to qualify as ‘one after another,’ the bullets found their target in a messy smoke show of fury.

It had taken enough damage, and with a stumble in it’s step it attempted to have one last go at the enemy. It’s feet didn’t land quite right as it moved forward, and as if tripping lazily, it fell to the ground. After it settled, unmoving, another rumble came, and the dazed mistook the sound as one emerging from the creature. The floor began to shake, and one by one they realized that it was whatever force lay inside the wall that had awoken again.

The creature began to stir and Steve raised his bat with half of a flinch. Against the floor it’s shaking became more violent, a seizure of sorts, but then it was sucked backwards in one grand motion into the void contained within the wall; as if grabbed by the leg and pulled back, but there was no hand around it’s ankle. This outburst of action startled the audience of four and a few of them gasped.

Steve’s feet staggered, one taking a step forwards and the other staying in place like it disagreed. He turned himself around instead to look at Hopper, his face asking a question his voice couldn’t find. The bat hung from his grip childishly.

“Okay,” Hopper said. He wondered if he should congratulate the team on their apparent win, then continued without addressing it: “I guess we know where to go”.

Steve took a survey of the team and locked eyes with Joyce. Coming down from her murderous outburst, still shaken in a manner she might never really recover from, she blinked back at him then turned to her son. “Stay here,” she told him, tone flushed with unease, grateful yet pained in a way she had not yet found the words to express. She opened her mouth to speak again, and though she intended to speak easily her voice hitched innately.

“Keep watch, okay?” Joyce said with a fake sense of calm.

Hopper, with his pull to leadership, stepped towards the wall. The corners were shrinking inwards, and the burning fear that A.) they’d miss their chance partnered with the fear that B.) they’d get stuck inside. With one hand in front of him he reached an arm inside. The upper half of his forearm disappeared into the dark gap in reality, and the wall stopped shrinking.

“It won’t close with us inside,” he said to the room.

Steve, bat still swinging loosely against his legs, stepped aside Hopper. He reached his own hand into the void, and glanced at Hopper with a look on his face that admitted he was still a bit confused. “Why did it close with Nine inside?” he asked.

“It must have wanted her there,” the man responded, reclaiming his arm and looking back to Joyce still standing with her son behind them.

“Guard the house,” Joyce said, half-joking to her wet-eyed kid who couldn’t decide if this was an ask he should be compliant with. “We’ll be back, it’s better you’re here to help us out.” He silently agreed, a nod with tight lips, and then leaned forwards to hug his mother. His arms overlapped against her back, and in a moment of peculiar contemplation, Jonathan wondered if they’d still hug this often after things were over.

Joyce joined the end of the line and Hopper, with a burst of courage as if acting on a dare, stuck one foot into the void. The bottom of his boot splashed in the shallow water beneath his foot, and the corners of his eyes drew in as he squinted at the ground below. He contemplated whether it was still appropriate to question things. Steve, deciding that they were well past that, walked straight into the void through the open area beside Hopper. He kept his bat snug in the grip of his right hand, and it was splashed with water at his sloppy entrance. “Come on,” he said ardently, an expression on his face that asked what was taking them so long.

Three pairs of feet stood isolated, the only things visible in the stretch of darkness, and then marched forward. No one really took the lead, and instead they walked side-by-side one another as their eyes searched for anything before them.

“How do we know where we’re going?” Hopper asked, the silence enough to make him question if the other two could see perfectly, and it was only his poor eyesight that left him in the dark.

“We don’t, I guess. Just keep going, there has to be something here. I watched half of Joyce’s living room get sucked into this place,” Steve said.

Will Byers sat (no longer alone, mind you) wrapped tightly in an abundance of blankets that began to feel decorative against his skin, still cold enough to bring concern to those who felt it. Nine drew a hand away from his cheek, chewed her tongue for a moment, then searched around the fort for another blanket, however feeble, to throw on top of him. Goosebumps began to prick at her own skin, her body settling into the cold as Will’s had done, but she pushed the sensation towards the back of her brain; negligible.

It startled her when he spoke, though hoarsely, and she turned to his figure, size doubled by layers of cloth. “How are we going to get back? Back home?” he asked her, and she swore her skin reacted, made colder by his words.

“I-” she began, halting, eyes back on the ground as she continued her search for a blanket as if to show the journey back home was no worry. It was a performance though, and her voice did all but reveal it as she weakly gave an answer. “I’m going to find the entrance again. We’re gonna walk right back into your house.” A smile twitched at her lips, strained, as she looked to the boy again.

He smiled back at her, performance bought if only out of desperation. “You really came from my living room? Like a portal?”

Nine grabbed a pillow from the ground, saved from the water as it sat on a plank of wood, and tore the cover off of it. She bent down, one hand with the pillow and the other with the case, and looked warmly into the boy’s eyes. “Just like a portal. I’ll show you soon. You’ll get to go home.”

She put a hand on his shoulder and brought him forwards with a guiding hand, placing the pillow behind his back and letting him settle against it. Tempted to laugh at the meager piece of cloth left in her hands, she took the pillowcase and draped it over his shoulders. How much could he weigh? 80 pounds? 85? She calculated quickly. Maybe she should add an extra pound or few for the blankets. She could carry a kid that small, right? She wasn’t sure there was an option left that didn’t require it.

“When are we going to go?”

His energy to ask questions seemed to come from the adrenaline brought by another person’s presence. Nine rubbed her hands up and down his shoulders swiftly, hoping that her dwindling body heat may transfer to him as she did, and looked to his ghostly face once more.

“Soon,” she said. “I just want you to warm up a bit first.” They smiled kindly at one another.

“This isn’t encouraging,” Hopper said as he walked, talking if only to remind his teammates the gravity of their situation. “We’re keeping the… door... within eyesight, right?” he said, voice bordering on frantic, unwillingly comedic. He turned around to look behind him, eyeing a dull light somewhere in the distance that he told himself he wouldn’t let get any more dull.

“Look,” Steve said, pointing with his bat, looking around at the faces of those following him. He spoke with exclamation the second time he said it, letting himself get excited for a moment.

Ahead of them a forming fog, a brightening light, and figure something like the ghost of a house. Steve smiled, slightly exasperated, looking between it and the other’s confused expressions. He ditched them after another second, taking off in the direction of his materialized hope.

“Hey!” Hopper called out after him, but Joyce followed, and then so did he.

Steve tossed the door open then entered without a second thought. “Nine!” he called out, her name an expectation rather than a question, like he had already decided she was there. His feet dashed around the house, circling through the kitchen then bounding down the hallway. “Nine! We-” He opened a door to an empty bedroom. “We’re here! Where are you?” He moved to a second room, nothing but genuine belief that she’d be behind one of the doors in this house. He said her name again as Joyce and Hopper arrived at the house’s entryway. “Will?!” Joyce called out. The two names mixed together as both were shouted throughout the house that was thick in shadows. No one was there to claim them, though, and that dawning realization brought the search party back to the living room.

“How are they not here? It’s the only fucking place in this place? How-” Steve turned in a circle like he could had missed her, sitting in some corner he’d overlooked.

“Hey, hey! Calm down, everybody. This is just the first place we’ve found.” Hopper said. Joyce looked away defeatedly.

Steve was starting to look unhinged. “It’s the only place we’ve found!” He paused. “I-”

A heavy sloshing was heard in the distance, a slow but repeated pace echoing a sound caught only by Steve. Hopper, grateful for his silence but naturally troubled by it as well, looked down at him expectantly. “Wha-”

“Shh-” Steve started to shush Hopper, then pushed past him instead to rush towards the house’s front door, still hanging open from their intrusion.

Despite the minimal light creeping out from the house, the figure walking up towards what would (normally) be the Byers’ front yard was hard to make out in the dark.

Arms wrapped securely under Will’s weight shook desperately with each step forward. Steve was standing on the front porch when the light finally caught up to the figure before him: Nine, slouched yet trying hard to stand tall with a bundle of eleven-year-old in her arms. She was the only thing visible outside the house, a long strip of light obstructed only by Steve’s silhouette engulfing her completely now. Behind him and on either side, Joyce and Hopper turned to his stall in movement.

Nine drew her head up, long blinks between squinting making her unable to react before Steve was running, all but stumbling down the steps in his feverish dash to reach her. Water flung from his legs as they were thrown in long strides. Her grip on the boy tightened, determined not to drop him in the commotion that her daze left her unable to read appropriately. Part of her gave into believing it was Steve, and the other half was convinced it was a hallucination. Get to the house, her only self-given instruction, still looped in her head.

Joyce, with a startled sob, followed Steve now. He reached Nine first, and with his own tears brimming he grabbed for her shoulders to steady her. She felt like she was sleepwalking, but upon seeing Joyce’s face, let up on her hold on Will. Joyce took him into her own arms, relieving Nine and clutching her son: seemingly weightless to her despite his very real presence.

Nine sighed — the only sound close to a response she could manage, or maybe it was just a reaction — and with Will’s weight removed, her legs began to feel numb. As if the fog around her had made its way into her head, the surrounding people started to feel less than there. Steve moved now, unobstructed by the kid no longer in her arms, to grab for Nine’s other shoulder. Her legs folded before he got a good hold of her, though, and she teetered over as he tried to keep up with her crash.

She landed on the ground, her fall half-broken by Steve’s rapid motion that managed him under a portion of her upper half. With panicked breathing he readjusted himself to plant her on his lap. He sat up on his knees, turning to glance behind him before returning to drag his eyes over Nine’s face. He gripped onto the fabric of his own sweatshirt as the person who wore it exhaled with fading strength in her breath.

---

A/N: FLUFF COMING SOON PROMISE

Tag List: @ggclarissa @gurl-ly @alewifex @we-are-band-sexuals @cpt-lamby @l0ve-0f-my-life @easvtohate @used-avocado @kwyloz @itzpikapie@samwise-babeyy @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @mochminnie @peterwandaparker @ayamecrevan @lilyhw1 @seninjakitey @lulurose17 @write-from-the-heart @marvelouspottering @hargreevelr @sledgy14 @stranger-names @pradaxstyles @im-a-stranger-thing @fancytravelerbird @queenofthehairharrington @blahhhhhhhaaa @prettysbliss @lolychu @crimesolvin @kik51199 @androgynousplaidpeanutlawyer

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fic #steve harrington series #steve x reader #st #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #joe keery x reader

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beeblackburn · 4 years ago

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The First Law for the fandom ask! 😁

The first character I ever fell in love with: In hindsight, Logen Ninefingers, given how much he eviscerates his character trope so completely even then, but in the immediate, at the time, sense? The moment Sand dan Glokta first complained about the steps, my heart was gripped and it took awhile.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: On a personal level, too many to count, everyone’s either such a piece of shit or were written sympathetically enough before Abercrombie knocked the pedestal off them in this series. That being said, Sand dan Glokta. I still really like him, partly thanks to The Trouble with Peace and one hell of a choice scene, but after what he did near the end of Last Argument of Kings, and revising the series, I can’t help, but realize what I liked about him was the potential that he’d grow a heart and stop doing awful things, and him doubling down at the end was disappointing, if not surprising.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: Jezal/Ardee. It was cute when I first read it, and I generally think Jezal had enough strength of character to try to do right by her, if the kingmaking business hadn’t been a thing, but I think it’s super telling that, upon being king, he thought about making her his mistress instead of realizing that wouldn’t have placated Ardee and she’d be bitter about the broken promise. In the end, they never fully knew each other, Jezal never knew the full extent of Ardee’s past, and what attracted them to each other was the dream of something better rather than anything substantial. I pity them, but they absolutely wouldn’t have worked out like Glokta/Ardee ended up doing.

My ultimate favorite character™: Logen “The Bloody-Nine” Ninefingers. But Black Calder and Crown Prince Orso are really close behind and they could easily climb overhead Logen with The Wisdom of Crowds. I’m expecting it with Crown Prince Orso, depending on how his character goes.

Prettiest character: Probably Crown Prince Orso? I know Leo dan Brock, Jappo mon Rogont Murcatto, and Stour Nightfall (though Jappo and Stour’s more my type) are objectively more handsome, but I like a little pudge in my handsome boys and Orso’s got that while having a prettier personality.

My most hated character: Collem West, easily, but I think Malacus Quai could've been better, character-wise.

My OTP: Everyone/Therapy. Seriously, Shy/Temple. Abercrombie can write some really sweet couples for such a self-professed cynic, given Calder/Seff, Bethod/Ursi, and Shenkt/Vitari.

My NOTP: Bayaz/Power. Seriously, Shev/Carcolf. Shev, please stop going after someone you know is toxic. Walk away and close that door forever. You deserve so much better, you gay babe.

Favorite episode: Red Country or The Heroes.

Red Country has such a somber tone of bittersweet past and longing for redemption that I just ate up and broke my heart against. Lamb, Temple, Cosca, Shivers, Shy and the Felllowship, so many people want to do better from their pasts like in his past books but this time, maybe, just maybe, Abercrombie lets some of them win against their inner demons. It’s such a haunting book, men with the ghosts of their pasts hanging around them and the inevitability of changing times creeping onto them as they trek the Near and Far Country.

The Heroes is basically a typical cookie-cutter war story except it’s Abercrombie writing it. The entire Northern subplot of The First Law distilled into a narratively and thematically tight book, with some tremendously strong supporting characters, some of my favorite POVs (PRINCE CALDER! FINREE DAN BROCK! BREMER DAN GORST!) and carrying some of my favorite scenes of the entire series! It’s such a treat and I’ve loved each and all of my five rereads. This book puts all other war stories to shame for not even coming close.

Saddest death: Count Foscar (Monza relating him to the boy Benna was, laughing in the wheat, breaks me every time). Antaup (how dare you take a chapter to establish how heartbreaking a cock-blocker’s death would be, Abercrombie!), Tul Duru Thunderhead and Scale Ironhand. Oh, those hurt. Those hurt so much. And, despite how much of a shithead he was, Nicomo Cosca’s death hit me surprisingly hard. Sad and pathetic and broken.

Favorite season: Tricky. Because The Great Leveller and The Age of Madness have my favorite books in the entire series and the former’s got The Heroes and Red Country... but it’s also got Best Served Cold, which was I admittedly colder (heh) on. I’ll take the bullet that it’s a me problem and it’s still a fundamentally well-written book. The latter’s got A Little Hatred, which was a far better The Blade Itself in some ways, and, especially The Trouble with Peace, which was a roller-goddamn-coaster of a book with absolutely some of my favorite material by far. I’d say The Great Leveller for now, but I’m holding my breath on The Age of Madness usurping The Great Leveller in the end, given The Wisdom of Crowds sounds like it’s getting into all the revolutionary and freaky stuff I love about the trilogy, a relentless inferno for society and the soul.

Least favorite season: Look, I love every book in the Circle of the World, but The First Law was the result of Abercrombie stretching his legs for the first time, writing-wise, and it shows. Logen’s wife and children never fully breathe as a necessary part of him and his early magic shows growing pains in Abercrombie’s writing, West’s material isn’t as incisive a character deconstruction as it could’ve been (dude should’ve been more insidiously a piece of shit in his mind to subvert his “good commoner” trope), Dogman’s only gets by himself particularly interesting at the leg end of Last Argument of Kings, and Craw does his character better I’d say, Cathil and Ferro were underwritten (though I think Ferro’s got interesting stuff in her POV), and everything to do with Terez. Just. That. Ugh. The writing bones are solid and the main trio, Logen, Glokta, and Jezal, are all wonderful POVs, but I think it’s safe to say The First Law is Abercrombie’s freshmen writing, compared to his more affecting material in The Great Leveller and The Age of Madness.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: ... Shivers? I do love him in The Heroes, Red Country, and The Age of Madness, but it always drives me a little crazy how much Shivers’ worsening moral decline is linked to Monza fucking Rogont and not him instead, making him out to be an entitled hyper-jealous asshole, and I ended up being disgusted by him. Add in the fact that he knew what he was getting into when he took a violent job and kept going, despite at least two targets, and kept caving into Monza’s higher payments, Shivers was always a piece of shit in his own right. He fell, he wasn’t pushed by Monza. I like enough of Shivers’ Best Served Cold material, but I just like his later material far more, even if I respect his earlier journey.

That being said, if he sacrifices himself for Rikke’s life in The Wisdom of Crowds, I’m going to rescind all this, because that’s the sort of perfect grace note to the anti-Logen and paaaaaaaaaaaaain. So let’s just go with Threetrees because, by god, he’s a relative snooze compared to the other “straight edges” of the series.

My ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: This could define almost anyone in this series, frankly. I guess Logen or Gorst? I really love their material, but they both definitely belong in a landfill.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Can it be anyone but Crown Prince Orso? Dude’s the only one in this world who thinks “there’s a moral question” to rulership aloud to another and isn’t homophobic, racist, or sexist (looking at you, Leo). Even Calder’s got murdering Forley and Reachey in his dark deeds and Temple’s spent years helping Cosca, which... shudders.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Monza/Shivers. It’s got some good material and I really hope they can make peace in The Wisdom of Crowds, but also *waves hands* everything else about them, honestly. God, they really did both suck to each other.

Also, Leo/Stour. It’s so wrong, yet so right. I don’t even know if it’d be hate-fucking if they got together at this point, but these two morrions deserve each other.

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Jurand/Glaward, Rikke/Orso, and Cas/Vick? They’re pretty cute and could easily give each other some happiness, I feel.

#the first law #the age of madness #the great leveller #joe abercrombie

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pynkhues · 4 years ago

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Hi ! I'm sorry if you have already talked about that, I'm just new to the fandom. I just finished s3 and I've felt so conflicted since Lucy's death.. There was a sort of lightness in the show despite of the crime element and obvs flirtation between Brio.. But now, everything seems so dark and Beth is trying to kill him. I feel like there's been a shift and that they'll never be able to come back from it.. What are your thoughts ?? Thank you and stay safe !!

Hi! Welcome to the fandom, anon! :-)

Season three definitely has a darker feel overall, so I completely understand why you feel conflicted! I think you’re right too - the balance between the lighter elements of the show and the darker ones was really different in s3 compared to seasons 1 and 2, and it gave the season a very different energy. Interestingly though, I don’t actually think the content itself was all that much darker, but rather that shift was felt more in the way that that content was framed and paced.

After all, violence – and the threat of violence – has been a pretty integral part of the show since it began, and while I think there’s a bit to be said about how much of the violence of the show made its way from subtext to text – Eddie’s death happened off-screen, but Lucy’s didn’t, for instance – I also think that there have been moments of textual violence since the show began. Beth knocked Boomer out with a whiskey bottle after he’d tried to rape Annie in the very first episode after all, something that was echoed with Boomer’s completed rape of Mary Pat and her hitting him with her car in 2.03. In that sense, the violence might’ve escalated in some ways across the first two seasons – culminating with Beth shooting Rio in 2.13 – but it’s always been a part of the DNA of the show overall.

In that sense, I think what’s really changed isn’t so much the violence and threat of violence itself, but rather the way that the show frames that violence and the effect that has on the pacing, tone and character beats.

So hey! Let’s break that down a little.

Catch and Release

When it comes to scenes of intense drama or violence – played out or inferred – Good Girls is really a show that, at least for its first two seasons, relies on a pretty defined structure that I’d say goes something like this:

1. Contextual joke that builds tension and/or sets mood.

2. Act of violence or drama.

3. Throwaway joke that breaks tension and/or resets mood.

As a structure, it’s generally pretty effective and is ultimately used to manage the tone of the episode. After all, for a show like Good Girls which is a dramedy, leaning too hard on the joke or too hard on the drama can create the off-balanced feeling we got in s3, but I’ll come back to that later.

This structure essentially presents the violence or drama of the scene as the meat of a burger, allowing the jokes to both complete the meal (delicious!) while also softening up the richness or intensity of the meat itself.

Generally speaking, I’d say Good Girls did this quite simply and effectively in s1, experimented and tested the elastic of it in s2, and more or less got rid of one crucial step in s3. It makes for an interesting exploration of narrative structure, I think, but that’s just because I find this sort of stuff interesting to explore, haha.

So what’s that actually look like in action?

Okay, let’s take 1.01 with the scene I described above.

1. Contextual joke that builds tension or sets mood

I’d say in this case it was the entire scene at the end of the episode where Annie, Beth and Ruby are arguing about what to do about Rio.

2. Act of Violence

Boomer attempts to rape Annie, Beth hits Boomer, Boomer falls into the coffee table.

3. Throwaway joke that breaks tension and resets mood.

And again in 1.02.

1. Contextual joke that builds tension or sets mood

Annie trying to sell Rio on the dolls.

2. Act of Violence

Rio ordering Mick to kill Beth.

3. Throwaway joke that breaks tension and resets mood.

Boomer popping out of the treehouse.

(please forgive my horrible screencaps, I took these after I’d written this post and it’s now late, hahah)

Annnnd again in 1.04

By 1.09, they were already starting to leave wider gaps between the jokes and the tension – which makes sense as it was building towards the climax and they were wanting more drama than comedy – but importantly, this framing was still present.

1: The girls joking about the van job

2: The tense climax of the van job

3: The joke about the result of the tense climax

And in 2.01, it kept those gaps big as a direct continuation.

1. Contextual joke that builds tension

Beth putting the mug on the coaster as she scrubs blood off her floor.

2. Rio shooting Dean in a flashback.

3. Annie and Ruby bickering about Annie stealing a hospital meal (tone reset as a result of violent climax)

The series went on to test this further in s2 by adding extra beats to create more complex (and interesting, in my opinion!) variations. The clearest example of this is in 2.03 with the Boomer and Mary Pat sequence:

1. Tension establishing joke: the girls in the hotel bickering about the price of the room.

2. An act of inferred violence – Boomer rapes Mary Pat

3. An act of textual violence that builds off both the joke and the inferred violence of the previous scene – Mary Pat runs over Boomer.

4. A throwaway joke as a tension breaker – Mary Pat worried her kids have heard only to see them engrossed in their devices while the Power of Love plays in the background.

5. Takes us straight into an even better tension breaker joke with Mary Pat telling the girls she chopped Boomer up.

(That is such. good. snowballing. tension. And I could talk about it forever. Like, seriously. It’s not a sequence we talk about a lot, but 2.03 is an excellent example of complex dramedy writing).

That said, it often still fell back on that classic structure too in satisfying ways. 2.07 being a perfect example.

1. Contextual joke to establish tension

2. Tension / act of violence

3. Tension breaker.

Whiiiich brings us to 2.13.

King

Look, 2.13 doesn’t work for a lot of reasons, but in no small part, it doesn’t work because it doesn’t play with the above structure like the Mary Pat and Boomer arc did in 2.03, nor test the elasticity of it like 1.09 and 2.01 do, rather it completely abandons it altogether.

It doesn’t build tension effectively through that blend of drama and comedy that the show can do really well, nor does it break it afterwards for us with a lighter moment that commentates on that tension, rather it thrusts the violence and drama onto us in a way that wasn’t well established narratively, and – quite frankly – was badly written.

I could talk a lot more about why that narrative choice doesn’t work, but that’s not really what we’re here to talk about. What we’re here to talk about is:

A Change of Pace

Because the thing is, season 3 does actually return to it’s s1 and s2 structure, only with one, crucial change.

It abandons Step 3: the joke that resets the mood.

What this means is that we have the contextual joke which establishes the tension and the mood, and the tension, but then the tension’s never actually broken for us afterwards.

This is perhaps clearest in 3.05 with Lucy’s murder.

1. We have the establishing joke with the girls debating which Au Jus hostage photo to use.

2. We have the act of violence.

And then we have only aftermath.

Ruby crawls into bed with Stan, Annie with Ben, and Beth takes Au Jus home.

On it’s own, I think this is an effective break from structure. I think it underscores the power of this sequence overall and the importance of Lucy’s death as a narrative moment and the ‘innocence lost’ theme.

Only it’s not on it’s own.

The season kept breaking structure. Over and over again.

It happens after Rio kills Turner in 3.01 (there’s a slightly lighter scene that caps that with Rio checking out of the hotel, so you could kind of argue that it was returning to the same structure, but it doesn’t quite hit the mark for me), it happens when Rio confronts Beth in 3.03 and when he takes her to the OBGYN, it happens when Max tries to confront Rio at the bar in 3.06, and it happens in most of the scenes with the hitman.

In fact, I’d argue that the only scenes that returned to the catch and release structure in s3 were the scene where Ruby stole the hockey jersey, the carwash scene which ended with Mick wanting to go to IHOP and, most effectively, in the Sweet P’s job in 3.10.

You’re talking a lot about sequence structure here, Sophie.

Right! Sorry! Tangents, haha.

What I’m getting at is that I don’t think the content of the show itself is any different. Murder, crime, intimidation and violence has been central to the show’s DNA since 1.01, and a lot of this has been textual. Lucy’s death I think definitely feels different because she’s the first true innocent we’ve seen killed on this show, but y’know, Rio was threatening to murder random PTA moms way back in 1.07 when Beth’s secret shopper scheme proved – err, unvetted, and Dean was trying to organise hitmen in s2 too.

Structure is important. Structure is what sets up audience expectations and establishes the rhythm of a story as well as – most importantly for this discussion – the tone of one. Seasons 1 and 2 presented the dramatic and comedic elements of the show ultimately as a marriage. The comedy was used frequently to guide us as viewers in and out of tension, and ultimately, I think this is why season 3 felt so different. That three point sequence structure was unbraided, the comedy divorced from the drama, which stuttered the rhythm and ultimately affected the tone.

SO, in answering your question as to whether or not the show can come back from the darkness to find its balance again, yeah, I think it can!

I think the writers sort of wrote themselves into a big, ugly corner with 2.13 and spent a lot of s3 struggling to find a way back out of it. Like, I think on a narrative and a character level, they had to show Rio kill someone in s3 to re-establish him as a character with teeth, because if they hadn’t, he wouldn’t have been the source of tension and conflict that they rely on him to be. I think they committed themselves to darker elements of Beth’s character and to asking the question of what it is the girls are capable of, because that’s the sort of thing you commit yourself to when you throw a grenade into your own story like they did with 2.13.

And look, I don’t think they got themselves out of it perfectly by any stretch of the imagination – in particular sacrificing parts of the way they typically structured tension in violence as they tried to reset the board meant they ultimately also chose to sacrifice both rhythm and tone too – but I think they were rebuilding by the end of s3. I think the Sweet P’s job was this show at it’s tonal best, with that marriage of comedy and anticipation and both personal and criminal stakes really working together to build a great sequence (Beth and the Caesar Salad! Anticipation building with Ruby and Stan as Stan figures out what’s happening! A crime plot! Stan coming through in the end!)

I think the note the show chose to end the season on with the promise of Boland Bubbles, Ruby and Stan reconnecting and the first glimpse of Phoebe infiltrating the girls does reset the board in a way that leaves a lot more room for lightness than the end of season 2 did, while still offering hooks of conflict and tension too. I also think it allows for a return to the sort of sequence structure that lets the show balance it’s tone in a way that 2.13 frankly didn’t.

Of course, that’s ultimately if they decide to return to it, haha. I hope they do, and I think we were heading there, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! :-)

#and thank YOU anon #i've been thinking about this for a while haha #but i spend an embarrassing amount of time thinking about story structure #this was extremely fun to write!#it's been a while since i actually wrote long analysis #i think maybe i just needed a break #i have a bunch of asks inviting long analysis in my inbox too #maybe i'll try and do another one this week before i go to the water #we'll see!#nbc good girls #writing #gosh i don't even know what to tag this as haha #welcome to my ama #and stay safe too anon <3 #Anonymous

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fanfic-corner · 4 years ago

Text

Writer Castiel

4/12/20 - I have wanted to be a writer since I was ten years old, so maybe I’m biased here, but I absolutely adore the idea of Cas being an author if he lived a different life!

Tabula Rasa by Dangerousnotbroken on AO3. (78,240 words).

Tags: Writer Castiel, Bartender Dean, Past Relationship, Pervasive Themes of Memory, Magic, Canon Typical Violence, Mentions of alcoholism, Mentions of Past Child Neglect, Mental Illness, Witches, Ghosts, Bi!Dean, Bi!Castiel, Referenced Past Minor Character Death, Angst, Slow Burn, Memory Loss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Once upon a time, Castiel Novak had everything. He had a happy home life, a full scholarship, and, if he played his cards right, a promising journalism career. And on top of all of that, he had Dean. Then tragedy struck, as it tends to do, and Castiel lost everything. At thirty six, he’s got none of those things. He’s got no family to speak of. He’s got a job investigating purportedly true tales of the supernatural for a magazine no one reads. And worst of all he hasn’t seen Dean in nearly twenty years. So when research for an article turns him on to a witch who apparently grants wishes in exchange for stories, Castiel figures it’s worth the risk. If making a deal with a witch can get him Dean back, what has he got to lose?

Notes: This was absolutely amazing; both written beautifully and with a fantastic plot.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance on AO3. (31,820 words).

Tags: Horror, Psychological Trauma, Domestic Violence.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

Notes: Excellently written, made me cry, and the ending was brilliant. Technically it isn’t tagged as Cas being a writer, but he does write some poetry throughout, and I couldn’t help myself.

Lost and Found by whelvenwings on AO3. (7,762 words).

Tags: Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Demisexual Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “Chuck Shurley? Sure, I’ve read his books. Kinda Vonnegut, but like, Kilgore-Trout Vonnegut, you know?” Dean took another gulp of his whisky, and smacked his lips like an adult. The guy sitting beside him at the bar, however, did not look suitably impressed. In fact, he was staring down into the bubbles of his cider, not even noticing the way that Dean was smiling at him, giving him the eyes. “I thought his stuff was pretty good, in a kinda metamodern way,” Dean added airily, and a little more loudly. The guy only nodded gloomily. Dean almost clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in frustration. C’mon, dude, I’m trying to impress you. Twenty minutes of talking and all Dean had to show for it was a weird first name, a series of dour stares and the strangest need to know more about this – Castiel.

Notes: This was written so well that I wanted to cry at Cas’ story of the stars, even though it wasn’t particularly sad. Now I want to go and stargaze with someone.

The House on the Ocean Road by coffeeandcas on AO3. (111,351 words).

Tags: Single Parent Castiel, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Hurt Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, Car Accidents, Past Character Death, Adopted Children, Mentions of Suicide, Slow Burn, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Near Death Experiences, Hospitals, Explicit Sexual Content, POV Dean.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is on the run from his life. He's done something unforgivable, and can't face his family or friends ever again. So he does what any rational person would do: fakes his own death and vanishes into the ether. Wandering aimlessly along country roads, he succumbs to the elements during a violent storm and wakes up hours later in the home of a stranger: a single dad living alone in an isolated beach house, with a haunting past of his own. Cas is sweet and shy, but welcomes Dean into his home and tells him he can stay as long as he needs, never prying into his life or asking him to spill his secrets. As they rapidly forge a close friendship, Dean finds that the quiet life by the ocean with Cas is exactly what he's been dreaming of. He only hopes his past never catches up with him.

Notes: This was so gorgeous and the plot was fabulous! Also, I loved Jimmy, and Dean and Cas as parents were adorable. Weirdest use of Cole’s character that I’ve ever seen though.

What Can’t Be Seen by destieldrabblesdaily on AO3. (2,639 words).

Tags: Soulmate AU, author!Cas, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Written for this prompt: Soulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

Notes: This was really cute and such a sweet and funny idea.

(un)conventional by imogenbynight on AO3. (6,100 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, mechanic!Dean, Writer!Castiel, Conventions, Fluff.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Spec Lit Con--Speckly Con, to it’s regular attendees--is an annual weekend-long event held in Chicago, dedicated to science fiction, fantasy and otherwise speculative literature. This year Dean's favorite author, C.J. Novak, is appearing as a panelist. Naturally, he shells out the cash for an all access pass.

Notes: This was so adorable that I nearly screamed in the corridor outside my computer science lesson. Plus, the writing was absolutely gorgeous! I miss conventions :(

I Think That’s Mine by palominopup on AO3. (6,804 words).

Tags: Fluff, AU, Reporter!Dean, Writer!Cas.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: A mix up at the Atlanta Airport places Dean Winchester's laptop in someone else's possession. A series of calls and texts bring two men together.

Notes: This was so cute, Cas was so sweet, and Dean was an icon.

‘Star Wars is Overrated’ by leftdragonpainter on AO3. (38,186 words).

Tags: Soulmates, Pining, Drinking, Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Neighbours, Swearing, Winchester Logic, Clueless Dean, College Student Sam, Awkward Dates, Dean Cooks, Castiel in Glasses, Slow Burn, Injured Sam, Fixing Cars, Smut, Costumes, Drunk Texting, Temporary Amnesia, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: When Dean Winchester turned sixteen he was disappointed by the words that appeared on his chest. He never expected that it would take so much to find his soulmate. He never expected to not remember meeting them...

Tags: Every time I thought I knew what was going to happen in this fic, something completely different happened, which I loved.

Event Horizon by Winglesss on AO3. (6,442 words).

Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel, Strangers.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Notes: I don’t know if that kind of suicide prevention scheme exists, but this fic is very sweet.

Darkly Dreaming Dean by Duckyboos on AO3. (29,008 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Alternate Universe - Police, Detective Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, Serial Killer Dean, Alternate Universe - Dexter, Established Relationship, Murder, Top Dean, Bottom Castiel, Anal Sex, Innocent Castiel.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester has the perfect apple pie life with his shy-but-sweet boyfriend in the suburbs. He has a steady, well-paid job with the LAPD and he’s charming and attractive. Really, he’s living the American Dream. It’s his extra-curricular activities that some may disagree with, as he’s also an accomplished serial killer. To date, his kills amount to around 36 and he’s never been caught. He’s employed by the law, remember? He knows how these things work.

A new serial killer arrives on the scene and despite the sloppiness of their work, Dean is intrigued by them and what they're trying to achieve, because their MO is the same as his; killing bad people. He makes it his mission to track the other killer down before the police do, and he’s left reeling when the 'Basin Vigilante' turns out to be someone a lot closer to home than he could have ever imagined.

Notes: I sort of watched Dexter a few years ago, and I absolutely love the idea of Dean as a vigilante serial killer. I only wish that the synopsis was a bit different, so the end was more of a surprise.

Finding Home by Desirae on AO3. (42,828 words).

Tags: Baker Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, PTSD, Past Childhood Trauma, Childhood Kidnapping, Mistaken Identity, Dean Whump, Castiel Whump, Best Friends to Lovers, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester lived a quiet life running his bakery. Aside from family, Dean had no desire to let anyone inside. The more people you cared about, the more you had to lose; A hard lesson he'd learned at the tender age of eight when Dean’s best friend was kidnapped right before his eyes. Dean was forever haunted by the event, although he hadn’t realized quite how much until Emmanuel James Milton breezed into his life; waking his sleeping heart with a complete lack filter and achingly familiar eyes. An author, with no family and traumatic past of his own, Emmanuel never felt like he belonged anywhere until he walked into The Honeybee Bakery and met Dean. It’s not long before they find out that there is a reason for their profound bond.

Notes: It was obvious what was going on here from the start, but that just made it even cuter as they fell in love again.

I think it is a shame we didn’t get more human Cas content, but I guess it is too late now. I hope you enjoy these fics, and if you ever have a specific list you want me to make, feel free to ask!

#writer cas #castiel #supernatural #ficrecs #fanfics #destiel #dexter #soulmate au

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star-and-the-motherverse · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 4 - The First Breath

The Butterfly Who Lost Her Wings

Word Count: 2980 | AO3 Mirror | Previous | Next

Summary: One question still remains… what does Star think of all this?

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ♥ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

“Poor little Butterfly. You've lost your wings.”

Star had been in a lot of bad situations in the past, but this one was a top contender for the worst of it. The Whispering Spell had done its work and tossed her somewhere she didn’t recognize at all, into an ocean of what appeared to be corrupted liquid magic. Her plan—if it could even be called a plan—must have worked in some fashion, because Toffee was here with her, too.

Now that she had finally found him, she quickly began to realize why her wand had become so increasingly dysfunctional. His presence in this dimension was likely the source of the problem. He appeared to have manifested directly from what was left of the magic, taking on the same sickly green color as their surroundings. His sludge-covered figure occupied so much space that even a singular tooth of his was larger than her entire body. He had ahold of Star by her hair, clearly amused by her struggling.

“Let me go!”

He paid her no mind, instead focusing on the tear in space in front of him. It was a window to the real world, and it was so close, just within reach. It was right there. But no matter how much she yelled and screamed, her mother’s unflinching stare never changed. They were worlds apart. Only Toffee had the power to communicate with her now.

“Now then,” he began, grinning a malicious smile. “Your majesty… do we have a deal?”

Horrified, she saw Moon hold out her hand, offering the severed finger. Her mother’s face was wearing a reluctant frown. “Take it.”

“No, mom, stop!” Star shouted, frantically trying to swim towards the opening in the sky. Maybe if she got up there, she could stop her mother somehow. Toffee couldn’t win. No, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I can take him! Just hold on! Please!” She struggled and struggled, but no matter how hard she fought, she couldn’t seem to make it any further. Her mother placed the finger in his hand, and the deed was done. Magically, it reattached itself to his severed finger, and it looked as if nothing had ever been absent in the first place.

Inside of the wand, Toffee’s beady yellow eyes turned their focus to Star herself. She froze up as overwhelming fear washed over her. Everything about the situation was telling her to run as fast as she could, but she had nowhere to go. He towered over her smugly, content with what he had achieved. He lowered his head towards her, and she frantically tried to move as far away from him as she could.

“How does this make you feel, little Butterfly?” His voice was menacingly low. “Do you feel scared? Helpless?”

“Y-you won’t get away with this,” she snarled back, doing her best to appear intimidating.

“Get away with what, princess? Tell me, what do you know about my true intentions?”

He was right, in some capacity. At the end of the day, she still hardly knew anything about him or his motives. She couldn’t help but ask herself, what do I have to do with this?

Toffee’s patronizing grin widened as her uncertainty grew. “I do admire your fortitude, Star, but you really should know what you’re getting involved with before you charge in headfirst. There’s nothing brave about making foolish choices in the moment.”

“I’m going to fix the problems that I created,” the princess declared. “You’ve hurt my family enough, I’m not gonna let you do it again!”

“How admirable of you.” Toffee hummed, pausing to think for a moment. “You know… we are not so different, you and I.”

“No! You’re a murderer!” Star hissed. “We aren’t anything like each other, not at all!”

“I only do what I must to help me bring my cause to reality,” he explained plainly, remaining excruciatingly vague. “I don’t believe you’ll understand it just yet, but you will. Oh, you certainly will. This place will make you realize it.”

Star allowed herself to be smug. “I think you should have more faith in me than that. I’m not just gonna flip sides for no reason.”

“But that’s just it, princess. I do have faith in you. I believe that you are capable of much more than you realize. You have the power to change other people.”

W-what? How was she supposed to respond to that? It almost read like a compliment, but she knew that he had to have some sort of ulterior motive behind it. “Y-yeah, well… I’m going to stop you! I don’t care what it takes.”

His booming laughter echoed around them. “Ah, of course. In that case, I look forward to the day we meet again, princess.” Toffee looked up into the darkened sky for a moment, and then back down at Star. He opened his mouth, and a single, two-syllable word left his throat. “Goodbye.”

He started to rise into the sky, oozing further and further away. “No, no NO NO!” Star struggled to keep her balance, but was ultimately thrown off of him and was sent cascading down into an ocean of sickly green magic that swallowed her whole.

Star breached the surface mere seconds later, flailing her arms and turning her head back and forth in a panicked state. Only when she saw that she was alone did her heart stop pounding so violently in her chest. The magic had erupted into waves, crashing back and forth. She struggled against the sludge, but she was unable to stop herself from getting pushed under a couple of times. Frantically, she looked around, hoping to find something off in the distance, something to give her an idea of what to do next.

Without warning, her cheek marks began to glow a soft golden color. “What..?” All around her, small pieces of uncorrupted magic were glowing as well, easy to see in the plane of darkness. But they were fading out of existence fast, succumbing to corruption.

The princess started to panic. She tried to swim over to the nearest blob of light magic, but it disappeared right before she could grab it. “No, wait!!” Every attempt that followed was increasingly futile. Frustrated tears began to pool in her eyes. Her cheek marks kept flickering in and out, making the scattered uncorrupted magic even harder to spot.

A particularly strong wave grabbed ahold of her and shoved her head under the surface. She kicked her legs furiously and bobbed back above the waves, breaking into a fit of coughing. Again, her cheek marks glowed. She didn’t understand why—as far as she could see, there wasn’t any uncorrupted magic on the surface anymore. She’d wasted her one chance.

But far, far below, there was her beacon of hope. A piece of magic shimmered from its home in the depths. Without a second thought, Star gasped for air and dove under the surface, pedaling her way towards it. There was so much distance between it and her, but naïvely, she let herself pretend that there wasn’t any at all. It was just her and this scrap of magic. That was all that mattered anymore. Just a little farther!

And then it was gone.

She could feel herself breaking down. Her energy sapped from her body and her movements slowed. She instinctively breathed in and was only met with the suffocating presence of the corrupted ocean invading her mouth, stealing the air out of her lungs. The fear that had been plaguing the back of her mind took over full force in those last few seconds of consciousness. There was absolutely nothing she could do. Never had she ever felt so hopelessly lost.

✧·ﾟ: *·ﾟ✧

“Star!”

The pitter-pattering of feet across the ground echoed all around her head. A bright white hallway extended infinitely in front of her.

She started giggling hysterically. “Wait up!”

“Come on! You’re gonna miss it!”

“Miss what?”

“You’re never gonna know if you don’t hurry up!”

Her eyes blinked slowly, and when they opened again, there was only darkness in front of her. Was she blindfolded?

“I can’t see, this isn’t fair!”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Mhm...”

“Oh come on, don’t pout like that.”

“Well, I need someone to help me so I don’t accidentally trip and die.”

“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

“Oh, come on, Tom, she’s right.”

She smirked. It felt good to hear that every once in a while.

“Okay, fine! Fine.” Someone took hold of her left hand. “You just better keep up, then.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Not long after, someone was holding her right hand as well. They all took off into a wild sprint, thundering through the field.

“Come on, Star!”

“Slow down!” She huffed out, exasperated. “Gosh, what’s the big hurry?”

“Star!”

Her name bounced off of the walls and ceiling, assailing from every known direction. She blinked repeatedly and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts—until finally, some piece of reality snapped back into place.

“Hey, Star!”

Her eyes finally opened to a world of bright clashing colors, swimming around in the sky. There was a distinct voice coming from in front of her.

“Does this, uh, need salt?”

Glossaryck? Why is he here? She wondered about it, but ultimately was in too delusional of a state to come to a reasonable conclusion. Wait—did he have a spoon? Why?

Apparently, her unresponsiveness warranted being poked repeatedly with said spoon. “Hey,” he said alongside each additional jab. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Star.”

It was annoying, she decided. “Oh, knock it off!” She swatted at the spoon in his hand, but completely missed due to her still skewed perception. She managed to sit upright, but not before Glossaryck shoved the spoon into her mouth.

“Less salt? More salt?”

Offended, she spat out the spoon and shoved it back into his hands. No amount of salt was going to save… well, whatever that big, bubbling pot of stuff was supposed to be. “Ugh, what is wrong with you?!” She pushed herself off of the ground and dusted herself off. “What's going on here? Where am I?”

“I have no idea. I doubt this place gets very many visitors. I mean, look at the place! It’s in disrepair, no one even dusts. Some people should never be hosts, I tell you—“

"Oh no,” she managed to gasp out. There were only so many places she could assume this to be, and well, with what had just happened… “I’m dead. I'm totally dead. I died!”

Glossaryck sighed, shaking his head. “Well, if you're dead, then I'm dead. And if you're calling me dead, I find it... well, I find it a little insulting, frankly.”

“Oh, no. I am totally dead.” There were so many confusing factors at play that she hardly could wrap her head around any of it. “And I'm stuck here…with you.” This was not her ideal purgatory by any means…

“Uh-huh. Again. A little insulting.”

Why do I have to be stuck here with him, of all people?! “You betrayed me!”

“I'm sorry it seemed that way,” Glossaryck murmured, returning to the side of the soup pot. “Can we get beyond this and just enjoy our time here together in... wherever we are?”

“Do you really think I'm gonna stay here with you and eat your dumb magic soup? Toffee is out there doing who knows what!”

“Star, what’s out there doesn’t really matter to you right now, does it?”

“But it’s still my problem! I chose to go into the wand, I wanted to deal with him myself! Okay, yeah, maybe my mom tried to stop me, but it’s too late to change anything. I’m here now.”

“Well, why didn’t you listen to your mother, then?”

“What are you—ugh, you’re just like everyone else!” Star snapped, turning away from him and crossing her arms indignantly. It seemed like she could never escape this spiel, but she certainly did not need to hear it right now, and from Glossaryck, no less.

“And everyone else is… who, exactly?”

“The ‘everyone’ who thinks that I’m incapable of doing anything for myself!” She put on a petulant, imitating tone as she continued to fume, mimicking the many people her anger had stemmed from. “‘Uh oh, would’ja look at that! Star’s gone and messed everything up again! You were supposed to be watching her! You were supposed to be keeping her under control!’”

“A straw man often enough does nothing to support your argument, Star,” Glossaryck said rather simply, not so much as flinching at her enraged display.

She ignored him. As far as she was concerned, she was just venting at an emotionless brick wall—a mirror, even. Something that was only there to bounce back all the terrible things she believed people thought of her. “I know I’m careless, reckless! I’m a joke! But is it really that hard to understand what I tried to do? I’m so sick of being monitored like a child! For once, I just wanted to clean up my own mess. I did this—“ she gestured to the pocket of space around them—“and I brought Toffee into the wand. I... I just wanted to end everything. I just…”

Her knees suddenly felt very, very weak. Silently, she cursed herself for not being able to stay angry. But she never was very good at that, was she? No, if there ever was a moment where she felt overwhelmed, she’d fall to her knees, cry, and wait for someone to come rescue her, to make all the bad things go away. Then she could pretend to be prepared for the next time, until another obstacle came along and knocked her fragile self down again.

At this point, she was only arguing with herself. “I am a child,” she mumbled under her breath. “Just an impulsive, destructive little child.” I really messed up this time, didn’t I? “I-I just wanted to prove that I can do this,” she cried out, tears already pooling in her eyes. Her hands came up to cover her face. “I thought that I could fix everything, but… I just made everything so much worse.”

“Star,” Glossaryck spoke up, his voice surprisingly sympathetic. “You tried. That’s all we can really do, isn’t it?”

“I tried,” she repeated. “But I messed up. Really, really bad. I-I don’t know what to do…”

“Sometimes, you don’t know anything. There’s quite a lot that I don’t know, even.” He hovered down to the ground to be at eye level with the young princess. “But you can’t let it scare you. If you’re scared, you’ll never start trying to learn why.”

She was shuddering now, crying. “I’m scared,” she whimpered. “I’m really, really scared, Glossaryck.”

“Of what?”

“I-I don’t know! I don’t know anymore.”

“Well, then, how about this? How about you try to figure out what you’re not scared of, and go from there?”

“But I don’t know-“

“Oh, come on, now, you can��t be afraid of everything.”

“Maybe I am!” was her childish retort, before she curled further in on herself.

“You aren’t going to get anywhere if you just sit here, on the floor. Do you really just want to hide behind my soup pot and not come out until you know everything is going to turn out okay?”

She sniffled. “W-well, no… I don’t want anything to do with your dumb soup.”

“There you go. You aren’t afraid of soup. That’s one thing off the list.”

The absurdity of that statement managed to get a solemn giggle out of her. “Yeah, sure.”

“Oh, and the floor. Obviously, you aren’t afraid of the floor.”

“Glossaryck, this is silly.”

“Well, evidently it’s working. There are a lot of things you aren’t afraid of. You just don’t realize it.”

“Duh,” she laughed, wiping at the tear streaks on her face with the palm of her hand. “I’m not afraid of you, or the air, or—“ she gestured at the pot—“or whatever weird ingredients are in that soup.”

“If that’s so easy, then why don’t you know what you’re afraid of?”

For a moment, she thought about it. “I guess… I’m really afraid of dying. And being stuck here, forever. Being alone... and not knowing what’s out there.” The blip in space seemed to extend infinitely in every direction she looked.

“Good, good.” He nodded his approval, and a sincere smile appeared on his face—something that happened very scarcely. “That’s a good start."

“Okay, are you done interrogating me now?”

“I mean, you aren’t done yet. You still need to think about if you’re willing to act on one of those things.”

Her eyes fell on the horizon yet again as she thought about it.

“Just what are you going to do, Star Butterfly?”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Glossaryck interlace his fingers. He was very clearly waiting for an answer of some kind. What exactly, she wasn’t all that sure.

“Well, I... I guess I’m gonna go see what else is here. Wherever here really is. Maybe...” she stood up quickly, looking out into the unknown. An ocean of colors swam and bled into an indistinguishable horizon, reaching out forever into the distance. “Maybe there’s something in another part of the wand that can help us get out of here. Well… assuming that we are in the wand, and not in some weird type of after-death purgatory.” She subconsciously crossed her fingers. I really hope it’s the first one…

As she left, Glossaryck watched silently. Not a single emotion crossed his face. Only when she had disappeared did he shake his head, carrying a quiet chuckle under his breath.

“It’s for her greater good,” he said. He returned to and stared down into the soup pot intently. An ambivalent smile formed on his face. “For her greater good.”

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #star butterfly #glossaryck #motherverse #tbwlhw #immersive

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inkribbon796 · 3 years ago

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Forgotten Light Ch. 1: Refractions

Summary: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men . . . couldn’t put Thomas back together again.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

During the several days that the Sides were in Brighton, the Coalition went through their house and every room they tended to frequent in the base with a fine-toothed comb. Trying to find another aura trail, which King, Nate, and Mare were doing the bulk of the aura searching.

The humans came in their civilian attire, not wanting to draw attention to the Sides’ home.

Deep indigos, pastel blues, sparkling reds, and vibrant purples. All the Core Sides were accounted for. There was evidence that Janus and Remus had been over to their home by the faint aura trails.

“So what else are we looking for?” Silver groaned as Jackie came back in from searching places the Sides liked to regularly frequent.

“I’ve got fook-all[1],” Jackie groaned.

“We need evidence of someone living here since March, because that’s when Deceit and the Duke moved out,” King rubbed at his eyes under his glasses. “And Spade doesn’t count. Spade was just spicy Logan with extra steps. He’d have almost the exact same type of aura as him.”

Joan sighed. “Either way this place is clear, what if we don’t find it?”

“Then we hope the legate is dead,” King decided. “Which is probably a good thing. Being trapped for so long without a lot of aura, it would probably make any demon crazy.”

“So what are we supposed ta[2] do?” Jackie groaned. “Put e’erythin’ back an’ pretend nothin’s happened? All yah’ve told us about this thin’ is that it’s dangerous or somethin’.”[3]

“Honestly I’ve never heard of one either,” Mare admitted, coming out of a wall. “I knew there were other types of demons, but I thought it was just a regional language thing.”

“Well different cultures do call you guys different things in different part of the world and that does influence it a little,” King agreed.

“Kid,” Mare crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You’re an empath just like me, you’re just a small one.”

King frowned, glaring at Mare. “Least I still have my own body, I don’t have to borrow or steal someone else’s.”

Mare looked exceptionally smug, “Just wait until yours starts rusting on you. Bodies don’t last forever. You’ll pick a fight, or someone will pick a fight with you while Daddy’s not watching, and you’ll lose. Or your body will get so useless you’ll have to leave it. It happens to everyone. You think Nate was my first body, or the one your old man’s got was his? Bodies don’t last forever, Dark’s probably overdue a trade out. Being in a broken down body can’t be good but he was always made of nothing but spite and coffee so fuck that body, I guess.”

King just about bared his teeth at the older demon, but he didn’t want anymore of that smug look pointed at him and thankfully Nate intervened.

“Okay, okay,” Nate used his magic to nudge Mare away, trying to break the stand-off and deescalate the two of them. “Let’s focus on this legate, because I was raised with the Legionnaires and I just thought that a legion was like a group of demons like a murder of crows. It’s why the Legionnaires chose their name because they were a powerful force, or at least I thought so.”

“Well that is partially true,” King agreed, searching for something in the magic space he had on the inside of his cape. “A group of demons is called a legion, but it’s also a type of demon for the same reason.”

Then King paused, “Shoot, I forgot it at the base, and we should probably go back to the base, leave this place back for them.”

“Yeah we’ve combed through this place enough,” King sighed and Joan and Silver stayed behind to make sure everything was moved back to where it was supposed to be as everyone headed back to the base.

King went to go find the tome he’d been looking for in his room, and while he was gone Silver and Joan came back into the base.

“I think we got everything back to where it was,” Silver told them. “But I guarantee we missed something.”

Joan rolled their eyes. “Lo’s absolutely gonna[4] know someone went through their house, and if he somehow doesn’t find out I guarantee you Virgil will when he goes through his stuff. He used to live with the Duke after all.”

King walked back in, Lunky clinging to his cape, King smiled and was talking with his child. There was an old book in his hand. “You can stay, but you can’t meet the new demon, he’s not very nice like 할아버지[5] is.”

“You do know you’re talking about Dark, right?” Silver asked.

“Yeah, well, he’s nice to Lunky,” King smiled, before his level leveled onto a more neutral frown as he cracked open the tome. “Alright so on Illinois’s first trips to Egypt he found this book in the bowels of some library.”

“Does it talk about Legates?” Jackie asked, walking over and getting a low warning hiss from Lunky for approaching the spawnling’s father without Lunky’s permission.

“Hey, it’s okay,” King told his child, before looking at the book. “So this book doesn’t directly talk about Legates but it kickstarted this little bout of research he and I did. What this book details is some spawnling that was formed by a lightning strike and began conquering the area. The Old Man’s apparently met this guy too, he likes building stuff apparently.”

“They play poker on the weekends or somethin’[6]?” Jackie tried to joke.

“No, they haven’t spoken in almost 200 years,” King dismissed. “More importantly this research Ills and I did helped us learn a lot about demons. Mainly that demons aren’t categorized by aura or region of the world, but based on how they collect aura. If they can survive being struck by lightning without discorporating, control lightning, or technology; then they’re glitches. If they feed primarily off the emotional state of other humans or demons, then they’re empaths. If they collect aura by manipulating people and making deals: that means they’re deal makers. If they’re attention whores that collect aura from large groups, they’re showmen.”

“Wait, glitches have an affinity fer[7] lightnin’[8]?” Jackie asked. “Since when? Anti doesn’t go outside in lightnin’[8] storms.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me,” King replied. “Honestly there should be a hell of a lot more glitches with an outright phobia of lightning. Before technology really took off the only way to get a glitch was if one split off from another demon, like what happened with Lunky, or something like lightning strikes them. I’m pretty sure Anti was human once and he’s old enough that he was probably killed by lightning.”

“What?” Jackie shouted.

“Yep,” King popped the end of the world. “Which is why glitches were seen as weaker or rare for centuries, it was hard for them to get a lot of power until the industrial revolution hit. But while we were deep diving in some of the books we found, we found some myths and legends that talked about another type of demon. It was like a hybrid of other demon types. Like a jack-of-all-trades, master of none, kind of demon.”

“So if demons are separated by how they collect aura,” Silver commented. “How do these . . . legates? I assume these types are legates, right? How do they collect aura?”

“Yes,” King confirmed hesitantly, “and that’s the problem. Legates are like an octopus. Eight legs, but one octopus. Something in the process of creating a legate, regardless of what it would have become, doesn’t split properly. If the legate was already a proper demon it would just make a spawnling and both the demon and the spawnling would be fine. And 99.99999% of the time the person just dies instead of making a legate. But it’s that incredibly slim chance where the soul is resilient enough that the energy can’t fully make a proper demon. That energy has to go somewhere so it makes a legate and this pseudo-demon, for lack of a better term, is dangerous because the demon itself can’t collect aura, but it’s legs can.”

“Is that where the Sides come in?” Joan asked.

“Exactly,” King gestured with his arms. “It explains why there are so many. Because when a demon makes a spawnling, multiple spawnlings mean a lot of energy was split off but when a human is turned into a demon there’s barely enough energy to make one demon, let alone seven. So the legate can’t absorb aura properly on its own, making it crazy and hungry because it can’t feed like it’s supposed to. It’s like being lactose intolerant but only being able to eat and drink dairy products. But the arms or extensions of a legate are fully capable of getting aura and bringing it back to the legate in a way it can feed from. The better control a legate has over its arms, the better it can feed. So it quickly gains complete dominion over the arms and turns them into mindless thralls.”

“But all the Sides have some of the most bombastic personalities I’ve ever seen,” Silver reminded, as Nate hummed in agreement, Mare was talking to him in his head.

“Precisely,” King smiled. “They’re not thralls, so that means they’re not giving their legate aura. So the legate is either dead or is kept somewhere that it can’t collect aura and turn the Sides into thralls. If we can verify the legate is actually dead or kill it, then the Sides keep their individuality.”

“So how do we do that?” Nate spoke up. “Especially without hurting the Sides in the process?”

King thought on that for a second. “Well when they get back we should come clean and just talk about the whole thing and maybe they know something they haven’t told us.”

“Okay, what if they don’t?” Mare asked.

“Well they’re non-violent for the most part, so if we leave them be they’re not going to torch the city down,” King shrugged, he tucked the tome into his cape. “Unless there’s something you guys haven’t told me. How did Thomas die exactly? Knowing what all the Sides have in common will tell us a lot about the legate we’re looking for.”

Nate gestured to Joan, who quickly began explaining, “So I found this old camera at an estate sale and brought it to some party. I was messing around with it, dropped it, and Thomas caught it. When that happened, he split apart and that was it, it went that fast.”

“You’re sure nothing happened in-between that time?” King asked.

“Yeah,” Joan answered, hesitant but sure.

“We still have that soul splitter,” Nate supplied helpfully. “We’re pretty sure it used to be Wil’s.”

“What?” King spat.

“Yeah, I’ll go get it,” Nate offered and ran out of the room to go fetch the camera. King at the same time sent Lunky back to Google. The spawnling complained but eventually the two heroes came back with their little missions completed.

“Okay, Logan really likes it for some reason,” Nate informed King when they were both back. By the look on King’s face the young man was thinking along the same lines. “Deceit hates the thing apparently, but none of the others have more than a passing tolerance towards it.”

King picked up the camera and groaned at the pink mustache stained into the side. “Of course it’s Dad’s. His magic always did weird things to stuff to begin with.”

The young man began trying to send his aura at it, to get it to react, but he was met with nothing.

“Okay, Dad, what weird thing did you do to make this?” King grumbled in frustration.

“That’s all I could ever get it to do,” Nate lamented. “I’ve tried popping the film cartridge, but it’s stuck. I think it’s just old.”

Humming a bit in affirmation, King turned it over a bit and set it on the closest table, his fingers drummed pensively. “Okay, it’s Dad’s, there’s gotta be some trick.”

King took out one of the medallion necklaces Dark had made for Lunky and hung it right over the camera.

Still nothing.

Frowning, King channeled his aura through the camera and finally a reaction took place. A mix of King and Dark’s aura in proximity to the remnants of Wil’s that stubbornly held the camera together brought forth another aura. It was distinct and visible: a shimmering, rainbow aura. It lasted for a second but it was there.

In alarm, King flew back from the camera, pulling the necklace away. In an instant the aura disappeared.

King approached and experimentally held just the necklace above before taking it away again and trying to search for an aura trail.

“Oh, you sly bastard!” King realized as he pulled out the very dagger that had caused part of his soul to split off and create Lunky. He’d kept it because he was certainly not letting the Jims get their hands on the knife again. “I fucking found you!”

King tried to drive the soul splitter into the camera and some protective spell fanned out to break the soul splitter and bruised King’s hand.

At first King thought his hand had been broken or fractured, but as the pain subdued to a dull, aching throb, he began trying to move it and realized that at worst it had bruised his bone.

“Fucking shit!” King hissed as Silver ran over to him. The force of the barrier spell and King’s attempted blow had caused the table to break and the camera to fall to the ground, undamaged by the fall.

Nanites surged out of some unseen compartment in the camera and created a projection disk. There was a whirl and a hum, before a holographic symbol hovering in the air. It was a blackened symbol of three heads and dozens of arms surrounding it, the only words there were: “Hecatoncheires Projects Presents:”

The symbol lasted for a second before the projection showed an image of future Logan, Spade, standing in front of them.

Spade’s projection smiled at them and he took a deep breath before he greeted them, “Heroes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. Fuck-all

2. to

3. Put everything back and pretend nothing’s happened? All you’ve told us about this thing is that it’s dangerous or something

4. going to

5. Grandfather; Korean. Specifically the informal way to address your paternal grandfather. Phonically read as “halabeoji”

6. something

7. for

8. lightning

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #footnotes #King of the Squirrels #Natewantstobattle #Natemare #Silver Shepherd #Jackieboy Man #Joan Stokes #angst #magic #existential dread hour #LAMP

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evandearest · 5 years ago

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“if he’s a serial killer, then what’s the worst that could happen to a girl who’s already hurt?” // james march

Request: Hi! If it's alright could I request a James March x reader where she comes to the hotel sobbing and absolutely drenched from the rain with like a fistful of money. So she gets a room and goes to the bar and drinks a bunch and spills to the bar tender that her husband hit her or cheated on her or something and James overhears and he's just super sweet and comforts the reader, maybe they fall in love and he doesn't want her to find out about him being dead/a murder?? (◕‿◕✿)

Warnings: maybe language? murder, mentions of serial killers, graphic content, mentions of abuse, mentions of toxic relationship, alcohol

Notes: literally so much fun to write! feedback is always appreciated :)

title inspired by “happiness is a butterfly” by lana del rey.

Main Masterlist

You loved the rain. Especially when it was pouring. It was so comforting, to hear the rain pitter-patter on the roof while you stayed curled up inside with a cup of something warm.

But not tonight. No, tonight was possibly the worst night of your life. Not only did you get in a horrible fight with your husband, but now you were stranded on the streets of L.A., drenched from head to toe from the pouring rain, with no place to turn.

You could hardly see the neon sign that read “Cortez” in the fog, but luckily you managed to spot it. Thank God, a hotel. You silently prayed that it was cheap; who knew where you would go if it wasn’t.

You suddenly felt tears well in your eyes. Why did this have to happen to you, of all people? What did you do to deserve this? And your husband, what were you going to do about him? You didn’t want to stay with him, that you were sure about.

A quiet sob wracked your body as you entered the doors of the hotel, hugging yourself tightly. You gasped quietly at the expensive, old-fashioned look of the hotel. Oh no, you thought, it was totally going to be expensive.

You cursed at the wet clothes clinging to your body; the reason you were shivering violently. You approached the front desk, noticing an older woman staring at you.

“Hello,” you greeted, your voice coming out scratchy. You tried to clear your throat, but even then it didn’t do much for you.

“Hey,” the elder woman said, her eyes scanning you, almost in judgement. “What can I do for you?”

“Uhm,” You said, digging through your pockets. You found what you were looking for, pulling out a wad of money. You quickly tried to straighten the bills out, fumbling under her intense gaze, and the cold feeling swallowing your entire body. You counted the bills before meeting her eyes again.

“How much for a room?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowing as you shivered some more. The woman raised her eyebrows.

“Much more than what you have,” She grumbled, eyeing the money you were currently grasping. What was her problem?

“What do we have here?” A voice startled you, and you immediately turned to the source, on high alert. What you saw surprised you; a beautiful woman dressed in diva-like clothing.

“Um, I’m just looking for the cheapest room you have,” you said, biting your lip. You felt tears begin to form in your eyes again, your frustration taking over your self-control.

“Oh, Iris,” the new woman said in a scolding tone to the grumpy lady. “Look at this poor girl! Why would you make her pay for a room?” Iris scoffed, and disappeared into the back room. The nice woman turned to you.

“Don’t worry about it, honey,” she said, smiling softly at you. “I’ll get you a room, on me.”

“Oh, no that—“

“I insist,” she interjected, grabbing your hand and squeezing comfortingly. You felt another wave of emotion come over you, and quickly wiped your tears.

The woman, whom you learned was named Liz, guided you to a room. She gave you clothes to change into, even though you insisted she didn’t have to. You eventually accepted gratefully, amazed at how kind the woman was.

You took a shower and changed before making your way down to the bar, which was mostly empty. You sat down on one of the stools, smiling when you saw that Liz was the bartender.

“Want anything to take the edge off, honey?” she asked you, looking down at you softly.

“Uh,” you thought for a moment, ”do you have wine?”

“That all you want?” Liz asked in amusement.

You looked down at your lap sheepishly. “I don’t drink much.”

“Alright, I got ya something,” Liz said, laughing lightly. You nodded, smiling the best you could. You could still feel the emotional turmoil weighing down on you.

When you thought back on it, you honestly couldn’t believe what had happened. You’d never had the courage to storm out like that. But then again, your husband had never gotten physical.

Your hand traveled up to your throat, which was still sore from being gripped so tightly. You almost couldn’t remember what had led to him choking you. You could distinctly remember him yelling at you drunkenly, and you saying that you were going to leave. The next thing you knew, your back was against the wall, and his hand was around your throat. It was all a blur after that. All you knew was that you managed to get away from him. That was all that mattered.

Liz set a glass down in front of you, shifting your attention to her rather than your thoughts. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at the unknown liquid. A certain impulse lead you to downing the whole glass.

Your fingers grasped the cold glass, your face scrunching up at the subtle but apparent burn in your throat. It seemed as if immediately your mind started to get fuzzy, whatever self control you had left slipping away. Your eyes moved to Liz, who was watching you with a smirk.

“Man, this stuff is strong,” you mumbled, licking your lips, the taste of alcohol lingering on your taste buds.

Liz chuckled, leaning over on the bar next to you. She shook her head, “No, you’re just a lightweight, hun.” You coughed, nodding.

It was silent for a moment. It seemed your drunken mind couldn’t handle that, because in just a few minutes you were crying and spilling all the night’s events to Liz without a second thought. It felt nice, though. Even sober you would admit that Liz was a great listener.

“Oh, honey,” Liz said, looking down at you with a pout. “You can’t let him do that to you!” She exclaimed.

“I’ve tried,” you sighed, burying your head in your hands. “Nothing ever works, no matter what I do. He’s inescapable. I’ll never be free from him.” Liz looked down at you, her eyebrows creased in deep concern.

“Anyone can gain freedom if they desire it so much.”

The voice startled you, making you slowly spin around in your chair to see just who such an odd voice could belong to. Your hazy eyes met dark brown. His stare was intense, so intense you could feel your arms prickle with goosebumps. Or maybe it wasn’t his gaze, maybe it was simply his presence. His steps were slow paced as he began decreasing the distance between the two of you.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at the man. Your drunken mind didn’t even hardly process his clothes, his accent, and everything about him that screamed long ago. You were too busy trying to process his words, make sense of what he just said.

“Hello, darling,” he said, a charming grin appearing on his face. Darling? Was he flirting with you? You frowned, your drunken thoughts clouding your judgement.

“Who are you?” You shot at him, immediately cringing at your words. “Sorry,” You said sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to sound rude, I’m not used to drinking.” Oh God, you thought, now you were saying too much.

But the man chuckled. “Nonsense, dear,” He shushed you, smiling at you softly. “It seems to me you’ve had a rough night.”

“Now that’s an understatement,” you said, giggling a little. You were very aware that you were drunk, and making a fool of yourself in front of a handsome man. But did it really matter?

The man laughed a little at you, his eyes softening around the edges as he stared at you. He offered you a hand, “James Patrick March.”

You smiled, grabbing his hand softly. “{Y/N}.” His lips pressed against the back of your hand, making tingles shooting up your spine. You giggled again, despite yourself.

“You’re quite a lovely woman to be at a bar alone.” He slid into the seat next to you.

“And you’re quite a smooth talker, Mr. March,” you said, giving him a playful glare. He chuckled again.

“And I believe your quite... uh, drunk, is it?” He squinted his eyes in thought, then nodded. “Yes, dear, you’re quite intoxicated.”

You sighed. “Yeah, I know.” In that moment, it seemed that your memories of the night came back to haunt you once again. The mood seemed to go completely sour.

“Ah, yes,” James said, watching you intensely. “You’ve just endured a quite dramatic event, darling, no one would necessarily blame you.”

You nodded, your lips forming a straight line. A sudden tiredness had weighed down on you, a yawn escaping your slightly puffed lips.

You tried to stand, not expecting your knees to give out underneath you. The last thing you remembered before falling into darkness was James’ face, and a soft bed.

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It’d been nearly three months since you had escaped your ex-husband. It seemed that ever since you had walked into the Hotel Cortez and met James March, your life had taken a whole different turn, for the better. It seemed that James had been the exit to freedom that you had prayed so desperately for.

For all the months since you had met James, your life had been what your wildest dreams were made of. A faithful lover, who you knew truly loved you, life in extravagance, and even amazing friends, like Liz and Sally. Even Iris came around. Your husband never even came looking at the hotel for you. You didn’t know where he was, neither did you care. The hotel itself seemed to just make you happy. Sure, you’d found out pretty quickly that there were some odd residents lurking around in the halls. But it wasn’t all that bad. Truly, it was amazing... that is, until you found out that James was hiding something from you.

You’d known for a while. It was obvious. He would disappear at random times of the night, and wouldn’t return until early morning, or sometimes it would even be full days where he’d be missing. You’d have to be a fool not to notice. Not to mention that every time you brought it up, he dismissed you with an excuse. And even then, you’d already been in a relationship with a liar. You knew the signs. Maybe it was good, maybe it was bad. Either way, you had to find out what he was hiding. You promised yourself you wouldn’t go through this again, even if you trusted James.

You’d came up with a plan. One night, when he slipped out, you’d follow him. You’d see exactly where he went at such an early hour, and more importantly, what he did. You’d just have to be sneaky.

You’d felt him get out of the bed. Sure, you’d been mostly asleep, but you were all too familiar to the feeling of your lover slipping out. You waited a few moments before quietly slipping out of bed, throwing on a robe, and tip-toeing after him.

You followed him through numerous halls, even figured out which floor he traveled to on the elevator. His destination was a room on the seventh floor. It seemed so odd to you, so eerily disturbing. What could he be doing at such an early hour... He had to be cheating, you decided.

You waited awhile, thinking about how you were going to approach the situation. What were you going to say to him? What would his reaction be? ...Were you ready to face the truth? You sighed, taking a deep breath. Man up, you thought. You’ve done this before, you can do it again. And with a deep breath, you opened the door.

You never could’ve been prepared for what you saw. The possibility never crossed your mind, it was never even a thought.

James scrambled when he saw you. You wanted to scream, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t do anything. There was so much blood..

“O-oh, darling, this-“ he stuttered. He didn’t know what to say. Neither did you.

“W-Who,” You began, your eyebrows furrowing as you pointed at the obviously dead man on the floor. “w-who—who was he?” You couldn’t breathe, your voice thick with emotion.

James eyes grew wide, his silence further pushing you. “Who was he?!” You shouted, your shaking hands reaching in front of you as you slowly approached the dead corpse.

“A—a businessman,” James answered, his eyes studying your reaction. “You disapprove?” He asked, slightly cringing at what was to come.

“Do I—“ your eyes widened, but you quickly closed them, and took a deep breath. Once you were slightly more calm, you opened your eyes to meet his dark brown ones. “What is going on here?”

“I, uh...” James was at a loss. For the first time ever, you had seen James speechless.

“Do you—do you do this every time you leave?” You questioned him. You stared at him intently, your ragged breathing increasing more and more as the time passed.

James stood hesitant for a moment, before nodding. “It’s a... hobby?” He said, his eyebrows raising at you nervously.

You staggered back a step, suddenly losing your balance. James instinctively reached out for you, but you quickly flinched away. His eyes traveled up to yours, sadness and guilt clouding them.

“I-I’m sorry,” you said, hesitantly grabbing his hand. Your heart thumped wildly in your chest. Your eyes met his, tears beginning to stain your face. “I...” You thought for a moment, before squeezing his hand. “I just need some time to think about this.”

“I-“ James choked out, tears welling up in his eyes. Your own eyes widened. You’d never seen James cry. “I understand.”

Your heart dropped. Even though you’d just found out that he was a murderer, possibly a serial killer, it didn’t mean that you could just turn off your feelings for him. You still loved him, more than anything you’d ever loved. You still felt insanely safe around him. You instinctively reached for him, pulling his body into yours.

You stood on your tiptoes as your head rested on his shoulder. His arms circled around your waist, holding you tightly. His body seemed to relax in your embrace.

“You’re still...” you whispered, silent tears dripping onto his blood-stained shirt, “you’re still you, right?” James tensed again, but nodded against your shoulder.

“Of course, darling,” he whispered back, his voice slightly breaking. He was so close to your ear that you swore you could hear his every breath.

His voice still sent shivers down your spine. His touch still made you weak in the knees. His words still warmed you up inside. He still had that dark hair that you loved so much. He was still the weirdly adorable, stubborn, emotional man that you fell in love with.

He was still your James.

You hugged him tighter.

“We’ll figure it out,” you whispered.

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