#then the next day i called an ambulance anyway lol
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ok so im scrolling thru my photos n its just like--
july 25th, reading origins n me drawing the first draft of lynxđâš
july 26th, hospital. iv in my arm.
#hospital#LMK WHAT TAGS TO USE IF THIS IS TRIGGERING PLS ):#anyway its amusing to me now that ik it was a. manic episode. and not heat stroke.#the vending machine pic is of me going on a half hour walk in 29 degree heat to the nearest pharmacy#to get fever medication. and fighting for my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!i couldnt even daydream i was focusing so much on surviving#then the next day i called an ambulance anyway lol#am i implying lynx sent me to the hospital?....yea a little. its funny.#goddddd those 3 hospital trips were HELL i had both my arms bandaged after it all cuz they kept fucking up the needleđđ#i haaaaaate needles but had to endure......to live........
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i'm going to the dentist tomorrow and being really brave about it. extremely. because i need to get my wisdom teeth out very soon but i have to do a consultation first. i'm being brave. i promise. i'm brave...... :(
#wish me luck.....im actually going to cry#soooooo like i have a blood phobia which makes me really afraid to go to the doctor#also i didnt have insurance until i moved to japan LOL.#so there's a bunch of weird stuff and associations i have with going to get my Health Checked#we have mandatory yearly health checkups and in my town everyone signs up for a day/time and goes to a big gym#and you wait in line with all these doctors who test your hearing and pee and lungs etc#but also your blood#last year i had only lived in fukushima for two months or so#and i was really dreading the checkup but i was being brave because it's MANDATORY i have no choice#(also free yay)#but when they drew my blood i literally fainted in front of everyone#i didnt realize i was going to do that because i haven't in a really long time#even though i was crying while waiting my turn because i was so scared đđđđ#anyways it was actually so terrifying because people were saying things that i couldnt understand while i was basically on the ground#the doctor later told me my heart rate was so fast he thought i was going to have a heart attack and almost called an ambulance#but i was like no lol i just have a phobia. and he was like umm can you tell us next time?#my bad#anyways he told me to stay home for the rest of the day so i did#it also happened to be the day before the school festival#so when i came the next day everyone rushed up to me and was like ARE YOU OKAY#and i was confused like yeahhhh im fine i just got a little sick haha#but it turns out there was a rumor that i was carried away in an ambulance from fainting lmfao#like nah one of my coworkers just drove me back home lol#very long story just to say....#im going to faint again probably. even though it's just a consolation.#text
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ᥣđ© ïœĄêȘৠËâ
PRINCESSBRUNETTES SCREAM SALON INTRODUCES ⊠à»ê°àŸàœČ ËÌ” àż ËÌ” ê±àŸàœČá
BLINK TWICE àŁȘđČÖŒ ᄫᥠâ âč Ë ÖŽÖ¶ đ
â©cecile believe â blink twice â©
pairing: supe!rafe x reader
cw: theboys!au, hostage situation, guns, rafe is 6ft7 because of compound v lol, forceful-ish sex, fear, death (not reader)
you are responsible for your own media consumption. welcome to kinktober day six. better late than never!
youâd only ever seen âking kookâ on tv.
six-foot-seven feet of pure lean muscle and compound v. you didnât invest yourself too much into the capitalism porn and multi millionaire industry that were supes, not enough to admire the beloved favourite himself anyway. but you can safely say, once or twice it had crossed your mind. him. king kook.
many things had crossed your mind, but not one of them had been the fact one day you might be in the hostage situation you currently were â sky high in a penthouse that didnât belong to you. you were just the maid for christs sake, caught up in a crime that youâd rather be far from.
as you listen to the repetitive drum that was your captors shoes, pacing back and forth in only the next room, your wrists tied, you lean back against the wall and stare up at the fluorescent lights in the walk in closet you were being temporarily stored in.
youâd already tried to plead for your life, bravely call out to your captor and ask to be spared â but had only had been slapped, the cold kiss of a pistol being pressed to your forehead shortly after forcing you quickly back into submission. all you could do now, was either wait to be killed or wait to be saved.
then of course there was the sound of the front door swinging open without a care that had you tensing up. the police wouldnât just bust in like that without a plan, could it be another accomplice? youâre proven wrong once more by the sound of your captors voice once more â urgent and pleading, followed by a voice you hadnât heard prior, and yet was somewhat familiar.
âalright alright, quit with the cryinâ okayâ got yourself into this mess i donât wanna hear it.â
thereâs a strangled sound, the patio glass down sliding open, a yelp â and then silence. whoever had come to save you, had just thrown your captor from the balcony. youâre frozen, praying you werenât next.
âyou uhâ you in here? âcan come out now, okay heâs⊠heâs gone.â the male voice sounds reluctant, like he couldnât be bothered to deal with the aftermath and you push yourself to your feet â bravely peeping from the closet.
there in the hallway, stands the famous supeâ king kook, in all his glory. you knew he was huge but he seemed to tower now, the light from the open patio door casting an angelic glow around himâ something like youâd never seen before.
your knees feel weak, all shaky like a baby deer and he presses his lips together.
âyouâreâŠâ
âwant a picture or something?â he itches his jaw and you shake your head. in that moment, he takes you in â eyes dragging down and then back up as he blinks, waiting for a response. you suddenly feel nude under his gaze, and you wonder if thatâs a superpower of his. you blame the stupid little black dress your boss forces you to wear.
âno. thank you. thank you for saving me.â you tremble, braving a step closer.
usually, heâd shrug it off â ruin the sweet moment with a âwell itâs my job, so.â and head off â but heâd had a long day and you were his final save until he had to head back to the tower for daily debriefs. didnât hurt that you were easy on the eyes.
âyeah. he would have uhâŠâ a grin spreads across his face and it feels cold, wrong for the moment. âhe would have had your head on a stick.â
you feel queasy at the imagery but youâre distracted by the visage of the supe eyeing you once more. âdo you drink?â
unsure as to how you got there, you stand at the kitchen counter with him now â still shaky. you figured with these things theyâd come to have an ambulance check you over, make sure youâre okay, physically and mentally. but in this moment, there was no one coming. it was just you, and king kook.
you watch the muscles in his back contract as he faces away from you, unscrewing the cap to a bottle of expensive alcohol and pouring it into short glasses. when he faces you again, heâs charming â a coy smile leaving lines in his cheeks and focused eyes. it was never unheard of that he was handsome, youâre just noticing it nowâ close up and in person.
âget some of that in you, yeah?â he drawls, sliding the glass towards you, his fingers lingering on the rimâ eyes on yours. âthat shit should get you nice and relaxed.â
you take a sip, wincing at the sharp taste that burned your throat. whiskey â and you were never really a fan. but hey, it would be rude to decline. the supe chuckles at your reaction that you tried to hide, drinking his with ease.
âso what am i supposed to do now? do i need to report this to someone? iâve never⊠been a hostage before.â your brow crinkles as your neck cranes to look up at him, the man suddenly closer than before, licking his lips like a malnourished alligator.
âuh, nah⊠no. you let me handle that, yeah? this was my save so⊠you report to me.â he tilts his head and you find yourself biting your lip. you want to scold yourself, but blame it on adrenaline instead.
âoh⊠well, iâm thankful for that.â
âyeah? how thankful.â he moves a little closer, and you feel tiny.
âhm?â all doe eyed and helpless, you practically feed it to him.
large hands find your hips, and to your surprise youâre spun to face away from him, the man leaning down so his hot breath invades the space between your neck and ear.
âyou know i- i had a really long day. maybe we⊠figure something out, right? a way for you to pay me back.â
âhow so?â you whimper.
it all happens so fast â one moment youâre being smooth talked, next moment your feet are dangling in the air, being used like a fleshlight. youâre grasping onto him now, flailing a little at the fact you were totally off the ground, the man effortlessly supporting your weight.
âfuckfuckfuckâ yeah-haha, like that.â he strains, hips plapping violently against your ass as he fucks into you. no protection or anything, but somewhere in the back of your mind you figured supes couldnât procreate like that.
âkâking mâgonna fallâ gonnaâmmph.â you sound deranged, like an animal even as you flop against him, letting him hammer you in the air.
âshhâshutup, aâight? gonna â gonna let me have this⊠mmph⊠gonna be a grateful girl for me okay?â he grunts, adjusting his feet wider and closing his eyes to concentrate on the warm embrace of your snug cunt.
you suppose you were grateful, and whilst you were filled with shame â the least you could do would be to try and enjoy it.
#this is so ass đ#supe!rafe#theboys!au#rafe cameron prompt#kinktober âœ^âą â© âą^⌠âËâčâĄ
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After a bad date leaves you with a twisted ankle, your quiet but protective roommate steps in to help.
⊠on this fic: simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader, fluff, mentions of alcohol and a twisted ankle
⊠a/n: alright so this may or may be not based on my weekend lol i do love the roommate dynamics so if you guys have any suggestions or ideas for this au feel free to send me an ask! hope you enjoy the read đ€
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
âTell me how much it hurts,â he says, lightly pressing his fingers against your swollen skin.
You suck in a sharp breath, glancing down at him as he kneels in front of the couch, his fingers brushing over your ankle. Heâs not being rough, youâre just in pretty bad shape right now.
âIt hurts,â you say, keeping it simple, and he scoffs softly at the obvious answer. âI think itâs kinda swollen.â
âYou think?â your roommate lets go of your foot, standing up and raising an eyebrow at you. âRemind me again how this happened, sweetheart.â
You blush. Itâs Sunday morning, sunny, with a soft breeze coming in through the living room window. A perfect day for a walk, to get some fresh air â except youâre stuck on the couch with a twisted ankle, thanks to last nightâs drinking that got a bit out of hand.
âI was out drinking with a date,â you mumble, feeling your cheeks heat up. âBut I didnât really eat much yesterday, so I guess I⊠overdid it. He was walking me home, and I tripped and twisted my ankle.â
âAnd what did he do?â Simon asks, sitting down next to you on the couch. You let out a soft noise as he gently grabs your legs, putting them on his lap. One hand rests on your knee, his thumb lazily drawing small circles on your skin.
âHe wanted to call an ambulance, but I thought that was a bit much. So I just had him help me up, and we walked back. We werenât far anyway.â
âYou had to walk with a twisted ankle,â he said in that flat tone that made it obvious he was annoyed â not with you, but probably with your date. âWhy didnât he just carry you?â
âI donât think he could⊠Iâm too heavy,â you say, rolling your eyes.
âI can carry you just fine,â he grumbles. âWhat are you doing going out with guys who canât even carry you?â
You donât respond, just lean your head back against the couch and close your eyes. You can feel Simonâs hand still on your knee â his skin is rough but warm. Heâd come home from whatever heâd been up to on Saturday night, only to find you passed out on the couch with a very obviously swollen and painful ankle.
Simon was a quiet, reserved roommate, and he wasnât really around much, but that didnât mean you two hadnât built your own kind of intimacy over the last two years of living together. So, when he saw you were hurt, he took it upon himself to check things out. Youâd told him it was just a twisted ankle and a moral hangover. Nothing too serious. But clearly, he didnât think it was as "nothing" as you made it sound.
âIâm sure heâs never gonna want to see me again,â you mumble, eyes still closed. Simonâs thumb stops moving on your skin, a clear sign he heard you.
âWho?â he asks. You open your eyes to find him staring right at you, eyes serious and focused.
âMy date.â
âGood,â Simon mutters. âHe couldnât even take care of you after you got hurt. Shouldâve carried you upstairs, helped you clean up.â
âI can take care of myself just fine,â you say, a little defensive, which makes him chuckle.
âYeah? Then why are you still stuck on this couch instead of upstairs getting a shower and some proper rest?â He smirks, and you just roll your eyes without answering.
âWhere would you even be without me?â he sighs, standing up. You let out a small, surprised noise as he lifts you effortlessly into his arms, holding you close. You feel his chest rumble with a chuckle, the sudden move and how close he is making your heart race. âYouâre lucky youâve got me, princess.â
âShut up,â you laugh, but you canât help closing your eyes and letting out a small, relieved sigh.
Because yeah, you know you are.
#ada writes fanfiction#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#cod x reader
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â» ââ ⥠ââ âș
carlisle cullen x m!werewolf! reader
warnings: male reader, werewolf reader, imprinting, twilight lore, omegaverse?, forbidden love, reader gets hit by a car lol, love confessions??, esme doesnt exist (still love her tho)
wc: 2.1k
cut for length!
you drove into town in your dad's truck, old and slow. your family hated going into town, and you never understood why, which is why you were on a sort of errands run for them. of course you knew of the cullens in all of their vampire-ness but you never found it as much of a problem, what were the chances you'd run into them anyways?
the laundry list of things to do was long, longer than you'd expected, so last minute you called your friend jess to help keep you company on your long day ahead of you. you picked her up from her cute but humble house and headed towards the first place on your list, newton's olympic outfitter's. "aren't you and one of the newton boys together? mike, right?" you asked as you looked at the list on the seat next to you while pulling out of jess' driveway. it'd been awhile since the last time you'd hung out even though you considered jess to be one of your closer friends, the reservation didn't get good enough phone reception to call as frequently as she wanted.
"uh, no, we broke up actually," she mumbled quickly from the passenger seat next to you. "oh, damn, sorry. what a bitch," you added the last part jokingly, trying to cheer up from the topic. you both laughed it off and continued the drive until you got there, continuing your conversation as you walked into the store. "i just need to get a few things for my sibling(s) and dad, shouldn't take too long," you assured her as you quickly found the first thing on your list. the day went mostly like this, stopping by random shops for the few odd items before the final store on the list, just getting a few groceries that are cheaper to buy in forks. you entered the store and followed the routine as normal, getting whatever you needed and getting out as soon as possible.
caught up in your conversation with jess, you hadn't even noticed the small red car speeding through the parking lot. everything happened so fast all you can remember is walking with jess, hearing her scream, and then being on the ground of the parking lot. "tyler! what the fuck is your problem!" jess yells, you only vaguely hear it before she rushes over to help you sit up. "at least call an ambulance asshole, don't just stand there with your door open!" you heard her yell again before she started to check on you.
before you knew it, you were being taken into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital. the hospital. a shiver runs down your spine and you hear the heart rate monitor pick up its beeping as you realized you're going to the one place in forks where you have been forbidden to go by your family.
you start panicking, trying to get out of the ambulance in any way you can.
"hey, calm down, we're going to put you under for the rest of the ride, okay? we can't help you if you don't let us," you hear the nurse in the back with you say after trying to get you to stop freaking out.
you woke again in a hospital bed, the smell of medicine invading your nostrils immediately and making you sneeze.
"ah, you're awake, and just in time. the doctor's on his way right now." the same female nurse says before finishing up on writing your vitals and waiting for the doctor. your heart drops when you hear her mention him, no doubt it was carlisle cullen. what if he killed you in the hospital, right there, he probably had manipulation powers to make everyone think nothing happened.
"i don't need a doctor, i'm fine, let me go," you rush out as fast as possible while trying to sit up, the action only making you dizzy as the nurse gently laid you back down.
"once the doctor says you're fine you can leave. you only have minimal bruising and a few cuts, you'll be out of here in the blink of an eye," the nurse comforted you, and it seemingly worked as the heart rate monitor went back to normal. you took deep breaths, only a few minutes with the monster and you'd be able to leave and never go into forks again.
you heard footsteps approaching and turned your head to the door, the door knob turned and your heart dropped again, fear pulsing in your veins more than it ever has before. then he stepped into the room and you were filled with a new feeling, your heart started beating faster, and it was like you had tunnel vision on him and him alone. you couldn't hear the busy sounds of the hospital, and you surely didn't notice the nurse standing too close for your liking anymore. the first thing your brain registered was that the doctor had the best smell you've ever encountered, like vanilla, honey, and lavender all at once.
"-use me, sir?" the nurse said, only hearing the last part of whatever she was saying. you adjusted back to reality quicker than you wanted, then you noticed the doctor standing in front you, trying to get your attention for an unknown amount of time.
"cullen," was all you managed to squeak out, staring with wide eyes at the man in front of you. he was better looking than anyone you'd ever seen, like god himself graced the doctor's face. he wasn't what you expected from the stories you've been told. you were told his eyes were empty and loveless, but as you looked at him his eyes were warm and more full of love than a father seeing his newborn baby for the first time.
"i see you're from the reservation, brave of you to come here," his voice was angelic, like he was singing a song only for your ears to hear. you gave him an alarmed look before you could stop yourself, was he threatening you? was your pack right?
"what?" you stuttered out and you were met with a soft, too soft to be real, chuckle and a warm smile from the doctor. "i don't see many of you in the hospital, i was starting to think you've all been avoiding it because of me,"
"they have," your words came before your brain could filter them, his frown was quick and the cutest frown you've ever seen, the kind of frown that made you want to hold him and kiss it away. "sorry, just something the tribe elders told us to do, it's not like any of us hate you," you stumbled over your words, and lied through your teeth. some of the members of your pack hated the cullens like they'd been personally attacked by them. the smile on his lips made your heart skip a beat, which was well documented from the heart monitor you nearly forgot about.
the doctor, carlisle you think, shone a light in your eyes, and then checked your ears, and listened to your heartbeat. his hand was on your chest, and you're sure he could hear the affect it had on you.
"well, good news, you can be released and you already talked to the police so there's no need for you to stay." you didn't think it was possible but your heart dropped again, you'd almost wished you got hurt worse so you could spend more time with him. "i'll finish this paperwork and get it on file as soon as possible, you should be able to leave within the hour. is there anything else you need?" you barely heard the rest of his sentence, still focusing on the fact that you wouldn't be able to stay around the doctor for longer.
"um, would it be possible to talk to you? in private?" you asked sheepishly. you were 110% sure you were imprinting on him, and you were even more sure he was definitely a vampire. you didn't hear any heartbeat, and you were quick to notice his larger than normal canine teeth. your question was met with another warm smile that made your heart restart and a nod.
"yes, of course, let me get you unhooked from the equipment and i'll walk you to my office, okay?" his voice was soft and reassuring, like he knew what you were going through. there was no way he knew that much about werewolves, right? just as he said, he helped you get the various wires off and led you to his office. his door read 'doctor carlisle cullen', you had remembered his name correctly. he opened the door and held it open for you, the gentleman you could only dream of. he closed the door gently but swiftly behind himself.
"please, take a seat. what were you wondering about?" he asked sweetly as he took his own seat and set a few papers before himself. you didn't plan to get this far, you hadn't figured out what you were going to say, so you just said what came to mind first, "i know you're a vampire," your words came out jumbled. he stared at you with a blank look, millions of thoughts racing through his head. you picked up on his reaction and rushed out the rest, "i'm not gonna expose you, everyone in the pack knows," hardly comforting, but better than him thinking you want to ruin his life. he let out a small noise of understanding, and that itself made your heart skip another beat.
"what is it you came here to tell me?" his voice was colder now, but still melodic like he planned his words for centuries.
"i'm sure you know about, you know, the whole werewolf thing," you paused as you spoke, looking at him to gather his reaction, and he nodded to signal you to continue speaking. "do you know anything about... imprinting?" you whispered the last word like it was poisonous.
"ah, you came to ask about that. i can try to help as much as i can, but wouldn't you prefer someone from your tribe to explain it to you?" carlisle's words were soft and understanding, with a hint of genuine curiosity.
"no, uhm, hold on i think i need a minute," you stuttered out, trying to figure out the least awkward way to explain you think he's your soulmate. you thought for a minute, carefully putting a sentence together before speaking again.
"doctor cullen," you started, "carlisle, i think i," your voice was caught in your throat, but you tried your best to finish you sentence. "i think i imprinted on you," you ripped off the band-aid and rushed it out. you stared at your shoes, though you'd rather be looking at carlisle's godly beautiful face. after a moment of silence you peeked a look at his face to gather if he was upset or not. you couldn't pinpoint the emotion on his face, shock? fear? anger? your heart started beating at an irregular pace again, "i-i'm so sorry, i'll go," you felt tears in your eyes and started to gather the small bag of belongings you were given before his voice stopped you.
"no, no, you're okay. i'm sorry, i didn't know that was possible," for once his words didn't seem as well thought out, it was jarring but his words flowed together as beautiful as always. "and you're sure?" he asked.
"yes, i think, i don't know. i haven't felt this way before, it's just like it was described to me. like you're the only person who actually matters anymore," you spoke freely, which surprised you.
"hm, well, i'm new to this too, we can figure it out together," carlisle's voice was warmer than ever, you felt like a blanket was being placed over you. you smiled and were going to stand up when he was suddenly standing right next to you, you jumped slightly and he let out a playful laugh, his laugh was beautiful, like angels singing in a choir. "apologies, forgot to warn you,"
you stood up and hugged yourself to him, his arms wrapped around you in the best hug you've ever had. he was cold, but you were sure you were warm enough for the both of you. you never wanted to separate from it, and let out a whine when he pulled away, surprising yourself more than you thought you could today.
"i'll tell the hospital something happened with one of the kids and we can talk about this more, if you're okay with it," you agreed quickly, the other patients could wait, how much trouble could happen in forks while you hog him for a little?
â» ââ ⥠ââ âș
#carlisle cullen x reader#carlisle cullen#carlisle cullen x male reader#male reader#carlisle cullen x you#twilight x you#fluff
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Hi, I write sickfics too. But I'd love a sickfic written for me this time. Lol. Either a really sick Dean needing Sam to care for him, maybe after a really bad hunt. Or super sick TK, needing his dad to call Carlos to take of him. Or maybe a really sick Bucky, with a freaked out Peter swinging around frantic to find Steve to help the man while in the middle of a fire fight. :) Emeto galore would be much appreciated. Pretty please!!!
okay so I decided to write it for tarlos because I just watched the mid season finale, but let me know if you want me to do the supernatural one too.
Also this ended up getting a bit de-railed toward the end and being more about Owen coming to terms with the fact that T.K. has Carlos now and doesn't need him as much as he used to instead of actual caretaking. Whoops đ€·ââïž
warning: depictions of vomit, brief mention of addiction history
T.K. had woken up with a headache. But that wasnât uncommon, side effect of being a recovered addict heâd been told. So he didnât think about it too much.
But it kept getting worse, even though heâd been sure to drink enough water and eat throughout the day. And then he realized when he helped Nancy lift a patient onto a gurney that his whole body ached.Â
âYou good?â Nancy had asked.
âFine,â T.K. responded shortly. Nancy gave him a look that said she didnât believe him, but she let it drop.Â
By the end of their next call, he was dizzy and cold. Theyâd just dropped the patient at the hospital and weâre heading back to the station.Â
âHey. Whatâs wrong with you?â Nancy asked as she drove, glancing over at T.K., who was practically slumped against the window in the passenger seat.Â
T.K. shrugged, âNot feeling super great I guess,â he admitted.Â
âYou need to tell Captain Vega dude,â she said as she pulled the ambulance into the station bay.Â
âShifts almost over anyway,â T.K. shrugged again, shaking his head.Â
But then as soon as theyâd parked the klaxon sounded. âAid car BLANK requestedâ
âAlright then, letâs just head back out,â Tommy called from the back of the ambulance.Â
Nancy shot T.K. a look. His face was pale, even more than it already had been. T.K.âs stomach, which had become increasingly upset for the past hour or so, suddenly flipped. He knew he was done for.Â
âFuck,â he muttered, then threw the door open and practically fell out, landing on his knees with a retch that brought his lunch up onto the floor of the station.Â
âWoah!â Someone said, then T.K. felt a hand on his shoulder and his back.Â
âWho else is a certified medic?â Another voice asked, Tommy maybe. Everything sounded far away and T.K.âs head was spinning.Â
âYo Marj! Paul!â The voice behind him yelled. Judd, T.K. could tell now.
There were footsteps approaching and then âWoah what happened to him?â
âOne of you take T.K.âs place in the rig with Tommy and Nancy. The other one of yâall go get captain strand,â Judd instructed.Â
T.K. could hear people running around, then the siren as the rig pulled back out of the station.
"Come on brother, let's get you up," Judd said, grabbing T.K. under his arms and pulling him to his feet. With Judd's help, he walked unsteadily over to one of the benches the firefighters use to put their boots on. As soon as he was sitting he slumped over, head in his hands as he breathed through another wave of nausea.
"T.K.? What happened?" his Dad was asking, suddenly at T.K.'s side with a hand on his shoulder.
When T.K. didn't answer Owen turned to Judd for answers.
"I just saw him spill out of the rig to hurl on the floor, that's all I know. You'd have to ask the girls but they had to run back out on a call. I sent Marj with 'em since they're down a medic," Judd shrugged.
"Thanks Judd," Owen sighed. "I've got him, you can get back to whatever you were working on."
"You sure? Cause he's looking pretty green cap," Judd pointed out.
"Son? Are you still feeling nauseous?" Owen asked.
T.K. just groaned in response, he didn't think he'd ever felt this sick in his life. It had gotten so bad so quickly. He was going to throw up again.
Thankfully Judd was on it, and a trash can magically appeared between T.K.'s knees just in time for him to heave over it. His body convulsed with another gag which brought up more of his stomach contents into the bin.
"Aw jeez kiddo," Owen muttered, sitting down beside T.K. to wrap an arm around him and rub a hand up and down his arm.
T.K. coughed and spit into the trash can, willing his stomach to stop contracting. There wasn't anything left in it to bring up. He felt so weak, like he could hardly hold himself up.
"Woah alright, I've gotcha," Judd was sitting on his other side, an arm wrapped around his chest to keep him from falling forward. T.K. dropped his head down into his hands again, elbows propped on his knees to keep himself upright.
Once Judd was confident that T.K. was stable enough, he pulled back, looking over at Owen. "We need to get him laying down," he said.
Owen nodded, "I think I'm just going to take him back to the house. You mind taking over for the rest of the day?" he asked.
"Of course cap, whatever you need," Judd agreed.
"T.K.? I'm going to get my stuff and then we'll go home okay?" Owen said, leaning down to try and meet his son's eyes.
T.K.'s eyes were shut, but he shook his head in response.
"No?" Owen asked, confused.
T.K. shook his head again, "Just call Carlos, please," he said quietly.
"Right. Of course," Owen was taken by surprise, although he really shouldn't have been. T.K. had moved in with Carlos months ago, that was his home now. And Carlos was T.K.'s person, the one he wanted to take care of him.
He looked at Judd, who nodded, silently answering Owen's unspoken request to stay with T.K. while he called Carlos.
"Your dad's calling Carlos now, I'm sure he'll be here soon to get you home. Just hang in there," Judd said, rubbing a hand over T.K.'s back.
As promised, after Owen returned from making the phone call, Carlos arrived within 10 minutes.
"Oh sweetheart," Carlos sighed when he spotted his boyfriend, hunched over a trash can.
Judd quickly stood up, allowing Carlos to take his spot. Carlos wrapped his arms around T.K., gently pulling him from the slumped position to rest against his chest. T.K. went willingly, pressing his face into Carlos's shoulder.
"Thank you for calling me," Carlos said, addressing Owen.
Owen nodded, smiling softly as he watched Carlos take care of his son. He hadn't missed the way that T.K. instantly relaxed a little at Carlos's touch.
"Let's get you home baby," Carlos said quietly. T.K. nodded, letting Carlos help him to his feet with a hand on his elbow and his waist.
"Let me know if you guys need anything," Owen told Carlos.
"Thank you," Carlos nodded, "I've got him, Owen," he added, seeing the worry on the captain's face.
Owen nodded, reaching out to softly clap Carlos on the shoulder, "I know you do." Carlos gave him one last nod, then wrapped an arm around T.K.'s waist and slowly guided him out of the station toward his car.
As much as Owen worried about T.K., he was realizing that maybe he didn't need to as much anymore. Because while most of T.K.'s previous boyfriends hadn't treated him very well, he had Carlos now. Carlos, who clearly loved and cared for T.K. so much. Owen was glad they had found each other.
#Tk strand#Carlos Reyes#Owen strand#911 lonestar#tarlos#sick tk#Caretaker carlos#Stomach flu#tw: vomit#vomit trigger warning#vomiting#sickfic#Fluff
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Heyy, how would the main 10 skeletons react if their S/O dislocated their knee? I legit just dislocated my knee and it hurts so bad đ
Undertale Sans - He immobilizes your leg with blue magic so it hurts less and he teleports straight to the hospital. He stays calm externally and jokes with you to keep you calm, but man, he is screaming inside. That's a sight he for sure didn't need to see. It's haunting him.
Undertale Papyrus - He doesn't know what to do about that? If it was his knee, he would just pop it right into place but he's a little scared he might make things worse with how strong he is. But seeing you whine on the floor makes him act anyway, he can't let you like this. I have two news for you though. Your knee is back in place, hooray! ... But he broke your ankle trying to pull hard lol. Papyrus feels horrible and won't even look at you in the eyes even if you keep telling him you're not mad at him.
Underswap Sans - It's happening all the time with his brother so he randomly screams "LOOK A TIGER!" and as you turn to look at whatever he's pointing, he grabs your knee and pops it back into place. Uh. Well. That was something. You hated the sound it made though. He calls an ambulance after that, as he's scared your dislocation is not exactly the same as the skeletons could have, and he was quite right.
Underswap Papyrus - That's his worst nightmare. Honey already hates it when it's happening to him because his knees are quite fragile, but seeing it on someone else, it's... It's too much. You scream as you see him start to faint but can't do anything to prevent him from passing out next to you lol. You know he'll probably be out for a few hours and the phone is far away. Welp. I hope you're not in a hurry because you're not moving from there before Blue returns from his shift at the police station.
Underfell Sans - He's panicking as you're crying and rolling on the floor. The hell you want him to do? Use words! He has no idea what to do, he needs instructions and simple comprehensible words to act! He's pretty sure you're dying for now and he just wants to cry. Help him to help you god dammit!
Underfell Papyrus - He sighs as you cry on the floor, takes all the time in the world to get up from the couch, pushes you on your side with his foot, stomps hard on your knee, making you scream in agony but popping the knee back to place, calls you a drama queen and goes back to sit in the couch. Wow. You've never felt so insulted by someone saving your life. You're the one calling the ambulance lol. He's stubborn and still thinks you're acting.
Horrortale Sans - He runs to ask for help to Willow, but when Willow asks him what's wrong, he just blinks. Uh. What's going on again? Oh well, if he forgot that was probably not that important. Maybe he's tired, he's going to nap. Meanwhile, you are in the chicken coop, screaming in agony. You're going to wait for a very long time... Willow finds you a few hours later crying and hugging a chicken to comfort yourself lol. Oak is so going to hide from you for a few days, scared you're mad at him forever.
Horrortale Papyrus - He stays calm and gently helps you to relax as he talks to you about random things. You don't notice his hands slowly getting close to your knee and can only gasp as your knee suddenly snaps back into place. Willow keeps talking to keep you calm as he starts to use healing magic on your leg and call an ambulance. He's kinda used to this by now. Because his growth was all wrong, it happens quite often to him. He's so in pain all the time he barely feels it anymore, which is... Uh. Concerning, actually.
Swapfell Sans - He stares at your knee with a disgusted expression as you scream at him to stop staring and do something. What the hell do you want him to do? He's a soldier, not a doctor, and he's definitely not touching the alien egg in your leg that you claim is your knee simply not in the right place. He calls an ambulance and then grabs a broom to keep you at safe distance from him. You're so offended. You can't wait to be able to walk again to hit him in the face.
Swapfell Papyrus - He's a bit freaking out right now, not knowing what to do. He tried to touch it, but you screamed in agony and now he doesn't want to touch it again, scared he's going to hurt you. He calls an ambulance and simply tries to distract you with jokes as he anxiously waits for help. He's kinda relieved when the doctors say it's not that serious and that you'll be better already in a few hours.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He picks you up with his magic and carries you above his head to the hospital. The doctor said you can't move while you're waiting for a doctor so he keeps you above his head the entire time lol. Everyone is staring at you and you're so embarrassed, but Wine doesn't really care. At least, his magic is easing the pain, so you're holding on.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - You're screaming. He's screaming. Everyone is screaming. Coffee is horrified and has no idea what he can do to help. He's already in the middle of a panic attack and now you have to deal both with your knee and Coffee not being able to breathe. You manage to convince him to give you his phone and you manage to call an ambulance. That's not a very good day lol.
#undertale#underswap#underfell#horrortale#swapfell#fellswap gold#sans#papyrus#undertale ask blog#undertale asks#undertale imagines#undertale headcanons
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Prisoner #005
a/n: My original idea for this didnât quite work out how I wanted but whatâs new with this project. Anyway please enjoy some insane!Scaramouche because why not lol
Fandom: Genshin Impact Characters: Yandere!Prisoner!Scaramouche x GN!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Violence towards the reader, Scratching, Intimidation, Threads, Insults, Cornering and intruding on personal space, Mentioning of a hit-and-run, Mentioning of murder), Long Post
[Prison Project Introduction | Pinterest Moodboard]
You always tried to live your life in a way you wouldn't regret it.
That was, until the accident.
Whenever you closed your eyes, your brain forced back memories of it as if it was happening right that second. The feeling of a body colliding with the hood of your car. The shock and surprise that tensed every muscle in your body when a person suddenly jumped in view of your headlights. The sound of bones breaking against the metal and the way crimson blood smeared all over your windshield. Logically you knew back then what to doâcall an ambulance, explain yourself to the police, and say it was an accident.
So why did you bail? Swerved your car around and drove home in a panic, the alcohol in your blood screaming at you like a drill sergeant to get a move on. That alone should have been enough regret to carry for the rest of your life, but one evil always followed another.
You had never heard of the Fatui before, something they quite appreciated as they didn't want their identity to be known. But when two people rang your doorbell the next day, intruding in your home and sitting you down for a 'talk', you knew it was over for you.
Now, you were wondering why you ever accepted their 'deal'. They blackmailed youâsure, threatening to go to the police about the car accident if you didn't do as they said. They took care of your car, destroying all that linked you to the accident, but you got caught doing their dirty work anyway. Now it wasn't just one person dead and one in regret. Now it were two dead, and your life was effectively ruined. You'd not see the light of day anymore outside prison walls until you were too old to do anything with your life. If that wasn't bad enough, you were sent to the shittiest prison in the country, so you'd never forget you belonged to the scum of the earth for your doings.
Part of you really wanted to get a grip on yourself and stop the tears from falling endlessly. But no one would have believed the pain you were in. After all, you weren't the two people you killed and the many more families you left behind to mourn them. Still, after all you've been through, you had always held on to the hope that things would get better. That somehow, your life would turn around, and you could at least continue to live out your regrets in peace.
Scaramouche's hand slammed into the cemented wall next to your head, and you flinchedâhard. "Stop crying!" he spat in your face, his voice like a jackhammer to your eardrums with how close he was standing. You flinched, squeezing your eyes shut and biting down on your lip to restrain your sobs. That was when you realized things would never calm down as long as you lived. You'd never have the peace you were desperate to achieve.
"I can't stand people like you! Spineless, worthless vermin being so sorry about what they did out there!"
His words, as sarcastic and true as they were, felt like blades to your skin, cutting and stabbing away at your vulnerable heart. You tried so hard to hold back your emotions, your body shaking from the strain to keep your tears contained and the bitter, metallic taste on your tongue revealing you were drawing blood while biting down your fear.
Scaramouche was only a codename; you knew that much. He was from the same organization that forced you to do the unspeakable things, and perhaps out of pity, they convinced the guards to room you with him. At first, you had been glad to have someone who shared your experiences, but by now, you weren't sure if it wasn't a cruel joke. He, at least, couldn't be more displeased with you.
Drawing his hand back, he shook his head, running his fingers through his hair as he cursed the Fatui under his breath. "Man, couldn't they have sent anyone more competent for this job? What am I going to do with someone like you? You're as useful here as you were out there! You didn't even kill that guy."
What?
"He's not dead?" you whimpered, sobs cascading off your tongue when you opened your mouth. You didn't try to hold them back as you looked at your cellmate in surprise. No one had given you any information about your victims since your conviction.
"You didn't know?" Scaramouche asked, his expression as condescending as if you were a child he needed to explain this to. "They found him in time, and he made it. Woke up from the coma today. You're looking really pathetic now. Failed and busted, who even hires people like you?"
His words reached your ears, but it was as if he spoke through noise-canceling headphones. The tears brimming your eyelids finally spilled over as a sudden and chilling relief settled inside you. You had no idea what that person you were sent to kill had done to upset the Fatui, but regardless, you were just so glad he made it. Faintly aware of the change on Scaramouche's face as he watched you realize all of this, lost in your own thoughts, you put a hand over your mouth, sobbing into your palm as you slid down the wall at your back.
Knowing that this person would be okay, that you didn't kill them, made everything fate had in petto endurable. You could go through the bullying and violence awaiting you at this prison, knowing you didn't kill this guy, whoever he was.
"What. The. Fuck."
Unfortunately, the things that made you feel relieved and hopeful only upset Scaramouche more. He made one step forward before squatting down right in front of you, his eyes narrowing in anger as he studied your expression, catching on to the little spark of relief in your eyes. "You're happy, aren't you? Ain't it great that you didn't do your fucking job."
Knowing you were treading on dangerous territory, the despair you felt returned, but you were terrible at hiding your feelings even when fear crept up your body again. "I thought I killed him..." you mumbled, not sounding apologetic at all. Your shoulders sagged as the corners of your mouth jerked upwards, clearly showing how you felt. "I really did."
When you let out your breath, you finally mustered the strength to look into his eyes. Fury glazed his gaze, but for some reason, it was warring with another emotion. Strange as it may be, while Scaramouche studied your body, sagging in relief, hopefulness rejuvenating you, he looked more and more... confused.
When he raised his hand, you flinched but quickly regained your composure and closed your eyes. Whatever he was going to do, you probably deserved it. Even if it hurt and you'd regret not fighting against it later, you'd endure your punishment. That was the resolution you came to as you waited for the inevitable pain.
But it never came.
Instead, a thumb, cold and chapped, pressed to your cheekbone, swiping along the bone even when you scrunched up your face in confused preparation for a strike. "Then why do you still cry?" he asked you, his voice an exasperated breath of incomprehension.
Squeezing your eyelids together, you slowly, hesitantly opened one to look at him. His brows were furrowed, and a disgruntled expression was edged into his face. But a child-like curiosity flared up ever so often in his gaze as he studied you as if he could not understand why you felt this way. For a moment, he didn't look so scary anymore. Nothing did. And perhaps, that made you bold.
"Because I'm glad," you explained, reaching up to wipe your eyes, turning your head, so his finger slipped off your skin. "I'm really glad he didn't die. I didn't kill him. Isn't that great?"
When you looked up at Scaramouche, he was staring at his thumb, dampened by the tears he touched. You could see the gears turning in his head as if he had a hard time following your emotional response, and eventually, his glare returned, fixating on you.
"You're so fucking weird. You took a job and didn't finish it. What's so great about that?" he hissed, rising into a stand suddenly. Swinging his foot over you, and for a moment, you expected him to kick you. You closed your eyes, preparing for an impact that didn't come. You heard his steps rather than noticed him walking away, and now it was your turn to be confused by his actions as you watched his back disappear in the distance, the cell door being slammed shut as Scaramouche stalked away angrily, holding his thumb in front of him, separate from his other fingers as if it was offending him.
"Fucking useless... Can't do anything right," he muttered as he departed, looking severely annoyed but never looking back.
Leaving you behind all alone for the first and last time ever since you were brought to this personal hell of yours.
«ââââââââ đĄâĄ ïžđ ââââââââ»
Peace never came.
Scaramouche made himself a bit rarer, sneering and cursing you out when he did acknowledge your presence. However, there were still enough other prisoners and guards to make your life hell. As much as you tried to avoid conflict, it was impossible to tiptoe around every angry person in this prison. Being the newbie didn't help. Things often escalated above the typical bullying that you tried to endure quietly. You could never catch your breath between incidents. Every day you woke up to a new challenge emerging for you. Strangely enough, though, you ended up fine every time, aside from the stress and fear permanently induced into you.
The reason for that? The very same cellmate that tried to avoid you like the plague.
You didn't realize it at first, but whenever a situation grew violent, he'd show up and put people into their place. You never saw someone break bones without weapons, but Scaramouche didn't seem to care that he wasn't as tall or bulky as others, bones breaking under his feet as he stomped down on every finger with glee after he brought the prisoners to their knees. He'd always turn around and bark at you, call you useless and pathetic, but saved you in the end regardless, no one coming near you after that.
Even when others began approaching you with seemingly good intentions, Scaramouche showed up. One personâanother prisoner named Childeâseemed to take pleasure in interacting with you, asking you to hang out or do favors that you never got to accept or decline because Scaramouche would immediately show up and pick a fight while yelling at you to screw off now. It took a while to find out that Childe was also from the Fatui and the two of them had some shady business going on in which Childe tried to rope you in, given your connection to the organization. He swore it was just petty things like doing errands, but Scaramouche would undoubtedly shoo you away if he caught you two talking. Every. Single. Time.
Just like this, things could have been good. At least you weren't in constant pain or strung into things that would worsen your sentence. But despite having your cellmate looking out for you, you still felt lonely and scared every day. When someone wasn't activating your flight instinct or raised your blood pressure as they bullied and humiliated you, you usually withdrew yourself from prison life. You didn't fit in, and it was almost impossible to make acquaintances with Scaramouche watching over you like a hawk. No one wanted to get close to you except if they meant harm or loved your scaredy-cat attitude. Even time didn't make things better.
While you knew you deserved this punishment for what you did, it still took its toll on you. Your nights were spent crying while you muffled yourself in your pillow, hiding from your cellmate's fury. You had come to terms with not being suited for this place. Still, Scaramouche hated any sign of vulnerability as if you were trying to harm him with it on purpose.
Unfortunately, your relationship never got better, and the scowl on his face whenever he saw you never disappeared. If not for him, maybe your life could have been a bit easier, but at the same time, it was unfair to blame him when he was protecting youâwillingly or notâalmost every day.
However, his barely existing patience with you ended abruptly and violently when he caught you crying one evening, only just returning from god-knows-what. "Why are you still crying?!" he asked, sounding absolutely void of sympathy. Then again, why should he have compassion for you? He didn't even think of you as a person worth living.
"Sorry," you mumbled, apologizing for reasons you didn't need to apologize for. "It just happened! I- I can't stop it."
You felt like on your first day when he cornered you in your cell, all ways out blocked off by the menacingly approaching anger he radiated. When you were backed against the wall, you felt a sense of deja vu. But this time, there would be no news that could give you hope, and you were pretty sure that after all you had witnessed, this was the day Scaramouche would snap.
Just like you always did, you turned your head, readying yourself for impact, convinced that your luck had run out now that his anger was directed back at you. But instead of a slap or the sound of your bones breaking, two hands wrapped around your face, cradling your cheeks as they turned your head to face forward.
"Who hurt you this time?" he asked, and you slowly began shaking your head in his hold, unable to answer. More and more tears dripped from your closed eyes, sliding along his hands that warmed against your skin.
"Just... stop! Please!" you heard Scaramouche plead, and your eyes fluttered open, staring at him in disbelief. Pain was edged in his youthful expression, and you couldn't trust your ears to hear this right. You stared into his eyes, trying to find the usual anger and annoyance in them, feeling almost desperate to see them instead of this woeful look he gave you.
"I've been trying so hard to make you stop crying! I forced everyone to leave you alone! Why can't you stop crying finally?!"
His voice started out as a tremble, turning into agonized yelling accompanied by his fingers curling on top of your face, nails raking over your skin like a cat's claws. However, as much as you should have hurt from his nails, his touch was too gentle to harm you. Scaramouche breathed out heavily, his head falling forward, staring at the floor for a moment.
Somehow, he succeeded in making you stop crying. The confusion you felt about his behavior was enough to override the dark thoughts you'd been dealing with before, causing you to sob in the first place. You were still scared and traumatized after everything, but seeing Scaramouche vulnerable for the first time instead of yourself made you want to help him instead.
Raising your hands to his face, he caught your wrists first, hands wrapping around them in a bone-crushing grip that you didn't dare to struggle out from. When he looked up, there was so much desperation edged into every inch of his being, it was hard to look back at him. But you forced yourself, reminding yourself that you caused this.
"I tried to fix it. They roped you into this life, and I tried to fix the mess they made of you. So I made it right. Ever since you came here, I've been questioning everything! I was constantly punished for failing, but you come here and behave like it's okay to fail. And then you cry and cry and cry, no matter what I do to help you! I don't understand you! You're driving me nuts!"
Scaramouche's voice was so brittle he sounded close to tears himself. Somehow, it felt like you had changed something in him. As if your display of guilt and relief had chipped away on his years of doing this awful, dirty work that must have made him into the monster he was. But all you knew for sure was that, all this time, he had actually tried to help youâunthankful as you had been for his interferences. Now, it was your turn. You owed him that.
"I'm sorry..." you mumbled. "I won't do it again."
You meant it more broadly, not just as an 'I won't cry again'. It didn't seem to be the core of Scaramouche's problems. Instead, his unresolved doubts about his loyalty to the organization seemed to plague him after you showed him it was okay to feel differently. But if it helped him, you'd try to be a bit stronger.
His hands slid up higher until they were gripping your upper arms. All of a sudden, Scaramouche tensed up, his head shaking as you heard the hints of laughter escape, the volume increasing as did the pressure on your body, forcing you down to your knees.
"No..." he chuckled, and as you slid down, you caught his gaze, a mischievous shine having returned to them as a crooked grin crept over his lips. He looked neither as hurt as he had moments ago nor was he the same angry cellmate you came to know. The look in his eyes told a very different story. The story of someone that was beyond saving.
"No, you will do it again. You will cry, and I can't let you continue to drive me absolutely insane. So you will cry. Always. Forever."
His palms resting around your face again, he pulled at your head. You had to crane your neck to accommodate the strain as he brought your foreheads together, with him still standing above you. It hurt, your muscles tensing and trying to wiggle out of his grip, but it was unyielding.
"What?! But--â
You wanted to argue, tell him he was contradicting himself, but you could only gurgle as he pulled you upwards towards him, not high enough for you to stand up, so your weight dangled from your neck as gravity dragged you down.
"I thought you hated me crying! I thought you were trying to make it stop."
"Yes," he purred, delight spreading over his expression. "And we know it didn't work."
Fingers digging back into your skin, there was no gentleness like before. You squirmed, closing your eyes only to snap them back open when you felt his breath on your skin, the panic bringing tears to your eyes again as you felt trapped. Scaramouche looked surprised as he saw the wetness welling up again, then his grin widened, showing teeth as a delighted chuckle fell off his lips.
Any doubts about his intentions faded as you heard this, your struggle ceasing as you stared at him with a feeling akin to betrayal. For a moment, you believed him when he said he was trying to help. You believed that he, too, wasn't as rotten as everyone was trying to make him out to be. That deep down, he knew it was wrong and regretted his actions.
But not anymore.
"Why?" you whispered, slowly giving up on any fantasy you had that you'd ever have the peace you desired to repent for your wrongdoings.
"If you need a reason to cry anyway..."
His smile grew diabolically as he took great pleasure in seeing the color drain from your face, any hope or contentment you had felt disappearing into the unknown darkness your mind was thrown into. One only filled with despair. The only thing you knew was that you would never get the life you wanted, and yet... you pitied Scaramouche, who was just another victim of yours. One, you drove insane without even noticing.
"I will be the reason," he revealed, and your body went limp in his grasp.
#scaramouche#yandere scaramouche#scaramouche genshin#yandere!scaramouche#genshin#genshin impact#yandere genshin#yandere!genshin#yandere#yandere genshin impact#Prison Project#yandere!genshin impact#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere fanfiction#yandere writing#yandere stories#yandere oneshots#yandere oneshot#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#Yandere TW
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Life update if anyone cares.
I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3
cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3
TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's
Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.
I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.
Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.
I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.
In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.
I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.
All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.
Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.
I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.
My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)
I like my new therapist.
Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...
I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year
I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.
I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great
Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least
Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3
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Last night i was at a concert, went into the mosh pit nd my shoes decided to betray me so i slipped nd fell on my back and hit my head. As i tried to get up i wuickly realized ppl were still moahing around me and i started to get trampled on so i just got into the fetal position to minimize more injury, eventually after like 10 seconds or so someone picked me up and i was able to waddle out of the mosh pit holding my head in pain lol. A worker came to me immediately and asked if i was okay and i said i wasnt sure so he took me to the back and they checked me out and stuff to make sure i was okay, they offered to call an ambulance and i really did not want that lol they gave me ice let me sit there for like 15 minutes and then i left nd got more ice at the bar and continued to enjoy the concert. Honestly despite it all it was fun, i cant even b mad at the moshing experience bc it was rly fun and stuff. I AM upset that i got trampled and that no one helped me up fast, i had to curl up and hope i didnt get more hurt until someone noticed me, it was a bit scary when i look back. The adrenaline at first made me just laugh and be like man that was silly but now the next day with my head and neck hurting and .y body aching im like man im happy it wasnt worse lol
Anyways i think imma take a break from moshing lol, i went a lil too hard nd got got
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on a cheerier note, shoutout to cĂ©lineâs double take at morganeâs outfit đđ il lui en faut peu pour oublier ses problĂšmes avec le prĂ©fet⊠(while weâre at it, prayer circle she dumps fachoman sooner than later, câest la saison des ruptures anyway đŻïž)
letâs also note itâs the outfit morgane shows up in at the date/debrief debacle. bourge coinços vibes much? đ loved how out of sync they were, adam was trying SO hard and morgane just couldnât wrap her head around what was going on đđ (meanwhile, ranir hovering around them, tu crois quâil avait Ă©tĂ© briefĂ© sur Le DateâąÂ ? they werenât seated at the usual table, iirc đ§) ahh. the way they donât fit together⊠delicious. without a case to fall back on theyâre completely lost!!
Idk, Iâm just a sucker for the contrast between the glimpses of vulnerability they let on and their general uselessness on the day-to-day. something about the miscommunications being trumped by a deep trust, yknow? đ„č (and I kinda loved how they talked about ~dĂ©cryptage. it has a blorbo dĂ©brief ring to it)
when morgane comes for adamâs help⊠gaaah. đ„ČâŁïž (the music had me think weâd get les dĂ©mons 2.0, tbh) best interaction of the ep. and then she backs out because she doesnât want to be a burden????? sign me up for that sweet sweet angst!!!! đ± followed by "vous avez pleurĂ©Â ?"--đđđâ€ïžđ pfiou, my hearttt â°ïž we need more of this healthy gut-wrenching stuff, donât we? (ils nous doivent bien ça đ„Č)
I can't wait to hear your thoughts on all of this, the good & the bad. thx for reading and bye til next time! đđ
Lololol, I love how CĂ©line like... freezes whenever she sees a co-worker presenting unusually. Be it Adam without a beard or Morgane in fancy clothes, it never ceases to amuse me đ
But yea, CĂ©liane vibes all the way đ€
Also let's not forget how Adam's eyes were falling out of their sockets when he saw Morgane climbing off the car (in his defense, she does look amazing in his clothes lol), so it's very likely that he really enjoyed that she came to the date in her "bourge coinços V2" outfit, this man probably has a kink and now I can't stop imagining the kind of roleplay they'd be into if they were a couple đ
The date was SO fun!!!! I've said this before, but a few months ago I had this idea of a disastrous date fic about them, and I just LOVE that the show went this way, it was just SO them, the out-of-sync-ness, le malaise absolu, "et sinon vous ĂȘtes allĂ©e au cinĂ©ma ?", "Ninja Warrior, c'est japonais ?", somebody puts them out of their misery already đ
đ
đ
, the fact that they only get their chemistry back as soon as they talk shop... Ranir awkwardly standing in front of the table after bringing the wine (btw, "Ranir, le Languedoc s'il te plaĂźt", is it me or did they imply that Adam knows all of Ranir's wines list? This man takes ONE glass of wine at a housewarming and now he's a patented alcoholic I'm losing my mind here) was HILARIOUS, as was Morgane cheering with him out of despair đ Also I can't help thinking that Ranir has seen Adam bring all his dates here, he must bet with himself on how many times he'll see this one again, c'est sa tĂ©lĂ©novela Ă lui lol!
And I'm with you on the contrast between the deep connection they share, but also their absolute incompatibility regarding mundane things, that's the kind of stuff we want in this house!! đ„čđ„č The dĂ©cryptage argument was a great moment too, especially when lit up with Morgane's bad faith (but also Adam's inability to call a date a date lol), ambulant disasters đ
But also. I love SO MUCH that he tries again. He asked her out on a date, it was a complete mess and it would be easy to give up, but he doesn't. And he asks her out again because he believes in them while I turn into a puddle of goo đ« đ«
Finally finally, Morgane knocking at Adam's door... đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č Gah indeed! Bonus point for the implication that Adam listens to love songs while eating dinner alone đ€Ł but the simple fact that she comes to him. And he lets her in without even protesting. And he SEES THAT SHE CRIED AND HE WON'T TAKE HER BULLSHIT ABOUT THE RAIN AND SHE'LL QUIETLY ADMIT IT AH BAH OUAIS EN FAIT IL PLEUT PAS -> we were THIS CLOSE to Morgane openly admitting to him that she cried and ugh, my heart đâ€ïž
And then cue the case-solving where Adam BLATANTLY is only thinking about kissing Morgane, and they work her way (đ„č) and end up in a post-orgasmic haze (it's been two episodes in a row where the final resolution sounds like they're having/just had sex, just saying) where he ASKS HER OUT AGAIN BE STILL MY BEATING HEART â°ïžâ°ïž
All of this was such a great scene altogether and I agree with you, we need more of this gut-wrenching angst of Morgane taking bad decisions not to be a burden and actually making things worse đ Something tells me 308 will deliver in that regard...đ
I honestly can't wish you a happy finale-watch for reasons that I've mentioned too many times already, but when the time comes I'll be happy to hear your thought if you have any. Stay strong, and see you on the other side anon đđ«
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The clinician at my PHP thinks I have Bipolar of some flavor and that Iâm in a hypomanic episode.
Or to clarify, I WAS in a hypomanic episode. NOW Iâm in a wicked bad mixed episode.
Iâm thinking of trying to be alone tomorrow. Which isnât a great sign.
I just get so self destructive in this space. I want to relapse with self harm, quit my job, go inpatient, fuck up everything. This is the feeling that made them say BPD the first time around.
I got my Autism and ADHD diagnoses recently and that knocked BPD out of the list.
But I do want to blow everything up. There are times where I want my life circumstances to reflect how i feel. I donât want to be around people, especially ones having fun. I donât want to be talked out of it. The fire in my chest is so sweet and so familiar and sheâs holding me close.
God I sound like a douche lmao
Anyways yeah my brain wonât stay in one place for long enough for me to come up with coherent sentences. I have fucking responsibilities now Iâm 29 goddamn years old I canât flake out like in college or when I was 24. I have a job that its really important I go to. Iâm in graduate school.
But Iâm feeling the paranoia and the sirens call of self destruction and I just want to slide into it like a warm bath at the end of a rough day. I feel like all I do is fight. Iâm fucking tired.
And I downloaded this app that has an AI chatbot for mental health stuff and I started really getting into it with them and they threw up the crisis line (fuck that I donât need the cops to come here. Not where Iâm from.) and ended the chat. And I went back in and it was like âoh hey nice to see youâ and I just closed it again. Fake. (I know its AI, but I still felt offended lol).
Iâve put my wife through enough. She doesnât need more of this shit from me. But I donât think I can fight this feeling anymore. Not in a call an ambulance way but in a giving into self pity kind of way.
I may never be able to work. I may never live a good and normal and well adjusted life. Iâm almost 30. Maybe itâs time I fucking realized that. Iâm going to be one of those middle aged divorcees who lives in public housing and goes to a day program every day. Honestly? Sounds kind of easy. I never have to live up to anyoneâs expectations again. I just get to slip out. No one to care about me.
These flee thoughts are a sure sign. Something is off. Iâm not good. Not okay.
Also I have nothing against the aforementioned divorcee, but my family certainly would and that was definitely aimed at them. I know it makes me an asshole. But I want the full evidence of what my brain does in these moments so I can go back to it later. Like if you knew me 98% of it is so out of character. Iâm like a different fucking person right now.
I think Iâm going to try n get out of plans tomorrow. My wife can go with her girlfriend and I can stay home. Iâll be too sick to go.
The whole of both our lives depends on me not cracking and that is a flimsy fucking foundation to set on.
Maybe I should check myself into a hospital or something. Idk. Iâve never been for mania cuz I didnât realize thats what this was until recently. Idk what the protocol is or how bad its supposed to be before you do it.
Iâve been having more and more crazy thoughts lately too. Like I planned the perfect cult belief system by accident then realized it was a perfect cult belief system and started wondering if I needed to tell people about the revelation I had and I could have sworn I actually opened my third eye. I could see it behind my eyelids. And earlier I saw a gross add on here with maggots crawling through an orange (cartoons) and it felt like they were going to burrow into me next. And Iâm having that âcars behind me are following meâ thing again.
I just have to make it to Monday and tell my clinician it feels urgent. Maybe Iâll send them this (lol).
If they tell me to go to the hospital I will go to the hospital. Maybe that would be a relief. Maybe I want that. Get this shit sorted out. Sign a 72 hour release. Come back to program.
Its been maybe 15 minutes since I started typing this but it feels like its been an hour. Iâm stuck in here while my wife and her gf take the living room and donât get me wrong I love my wifeâs gf sheâs my best friend, but I wish I had something to DO. Iâm going crazy in here. Extra crazy.
Jesus christ that paragraph took less than a minute
Why is time so fucking slow. I really donât think Iâm going any faster. Its still only been a minute wtf. Is time frozen????
Oh fuck thank you.
Well Iâm going to end this one and start digging into some stuff I need to process.
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I'm starting to go from frustration to worry with this fatigue. I don't know how much more my brain and body can take. I feel very overwhelmed, especially with not knowing exactly how much of this or that is causing the fatigue and what to do about it.
Itâs going to be months before I can get into an ENT who hopefully won't cancel on me, plus other specialists. On Tuesday and Wednesday nights, I felt like I had breathing issues in my sleep where I was short of breath. I didn't have as much trouble last night, but I still kept waking up.
I'm also back down to 155 lbs. I'm definitely having conflicting symptoms regarding my thyroid. My weight dropping and having trouble staying asleep are consistent with my TSH being lower, but the fatigue and feeling cold are not. It's definitely cold now in Florida. Yesterday was chilly and windy, and this morning itâs down to 72 degrees in the house. For the next few nights, itâs getting down into the 40s so weâll definitely have to kick the heat on.
I also have that cramp-like pain again in my lower left stomach near the pubic area. I took ibuprofen a little while ago, but it's not helping. Since it's unlikely to be related to my lady parts, I'm guessing itâs intestinal, muscular, or maybe related to my hip joint. I donât know why ibuprofen isn't helping.
Anyway, we were gone for nearly three hours yesterday because it was quite a wait. The girl at the desk warned me they were behind. She said it might take an hour, and I wasn't surprised because I was tired. If I had energy, I would have been in and out. Luckily, we didn't quite have to wait an hour.
However, I still wasnât in and out of the exam room quickly. They would do something with me and then tend to other patients, come back to me, and then leave me alone again for a while. The dentist said there was a slight chip in the crown and, while it wasn't ideal, it was sufficient enough to re-cement it. There are no guarantees on how long it will stay on, but she said it should last for years. That and the copay totaled $25.
I go back in a couple of weeks for my cleaning. If it turns out I have any cavities, I'll go back to using an electric toothbrush. Iâll just make sure to get a soft brush.
Of course, they had music playing in the background, which was kind of annoying, but what should start playing at one point? Fleetwood Mac's "Sara," LOL. It was funny because the mystery girl got me back into some of their songs, which I havenât listened to in a while.
We began to wonder if the guys next door were friends of Ray's who were staying there because they had storm damage, but no one spent last night there, which makes me think Ray is on his way back. Either that or their place is livable again. It was weird because they would be gone all day, and we couldn't imagine where they were, especially since one guy was likely long retired.
Unfortunately, the dream I had about Tom wanting me to call an ambulance was a sign of trouble for him. Luckily, it's nothing serious enough to call an ambulance for, but he's been having shoulder pain. I guess I passed my shoulder pain onto him because mine has been a little better lately.
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List of interesting stuff from when I was in school because I felt like sharing
My middle elementary school gave me and other children asthma. It was a moldy dusty super old school that got closed down a few years ago. A local church bought the playground equipment and its so weird seeing it there.
My class played the telephone game and there was some mean kid that bullied me so I changed the message to "*so and so* is an idiot" and it was said out loud at the end and no one knew it was me that changed it to that.
I got bullied for having misophonia.
One day in kindergarten I brought a stuffed toy dragon to school. I was told I had to put it in my backpack in this weird long closet area thing where everyone else's was hung up. End of day. Got my backpack. Toy was gone. Teacher checked everyone else's backpacks. Not there. It was just vanished. Still no idea what happened to it.
For some reason in first grade I refused to do the morning warm-up work thing and instead drew creatures in my journal. Teacher took pictures of the pages and sent them to my grandma. I also headbutt other kids during carpet time because Spyro. That was also the year I was started on meds.
In music class it was around Halloween time and spooky music was played. There was this one that was like "there once was a woman all skin and bones wooooooooo". It scared me. The teacher made fun of me for it. I went to the art class next door and crafted a kangaroo bat out of construction paper.
For some reason I was just out early and waiting for the bell to ring to tell us to get to the buses. Principal was there. I had this bad fear of missing the bus ride home for some reason. The sight of the area being empty before bell rings looked the same as the sight of the area being empty after everyone got on the bus and so my brain was screaming at me that they were about to leave me so I ran to the buses early even though the principal told me to stop. Yeah anxiety problems started early.
Multiple basketballs got stuck in the rafters of the gym building.
I think I heard one time someone had to call an ambulance because some kid sat on a pencil wrong and was stabbed in the butt.
Convinced my teacher to have a field trip to my place because it was a cool farm.
Got ISS (in school suspension) at least twice because I scratched up bullies.
Fitness gram pacer test. This one girl keeps running long after everyone else has sat down. Eventually just stopped the timer.
Brought this bionicle toy to school. It was this cool big one I had built out of pieces of older bionicles. Had long neck wings and a tail. Should try to draw it from memory at some point. Anyways the day I brought it everyone was brought into the auditorium for an assembly. One of the things the principal talked about was the problem of kids bringing toys to school. It was in my backpack the whole time lol.
Science class had a garden we worked at. In particular I enjoyed digging with a particular tool. I said I wanted it. Learned hoe was also a slang term. The outside world is full of nasty freaks so I would sometimes over think every word I ever say because it might also be a nasty slang term I wasn't aware of.
Grew watermelon there. It was harvested too early. Me, with farm living experience, kept saying that was not ripe. It wasn't. In the teacher's defense though if we waited too long the raccoons would just get it.
My school did a lot of field trips. Went to sciport many times. Saw a film in the IMAX theater for the first time. It was about scary weather phenomenon. I was terrified. From then on skipped IMAX time and hung out with a teacher. One time around Christmas I helped hand out reindeer candy canes to the staff. Few times later I decided to try IMAX again. It was amazing. I loved it so much. Saw it two more times at that school. I'm still angry that the film we experienced first was one that scared me and made me miss out.
One day there was a nothing day close to the beginning of a break. Some kid brought in a movie to watch. DVDs were getting to be the norm I think, so it was kind of weird that he brought in a VHS. It was a recording of that movie Hop from a video camera at the theater. Teacher stopped it when she realized. We almost watched an illegally obtained movie.
In high school there was this chemistry teacher I didn't like. I had this habit of correcting teachers on things. Her worksheets spelled aluminum as aluminium. I told her about the spelling mistake. Later found out that's just how it was spelled in England. I have no idea why she used that spelling.
Something in that chemistry class I'm still upset about. We were doing this lab thing in groups. Were growing crystals on pipe cleaners. The directions included the word tare. I had no idea what that word meant. I don't recall whether we we taught briefly on that word or not previously. I asked her what it meant. She said to ask the others in my group. None of them knew it either. Didn't let me ask another group. So we had to skip that step. Our group was the only ones who didn't get pretty crystal ornaments. Just wet pipe cleaners.
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âŠ.this week's manga updates ^^
(c) Bisco Hatori (Ouran High School Host Club)
This is the LONGEST manga rant i've ever written...
well... except for the Samurai Deeper Kyo one.. that melmel witnessed in person where I pretty much talked in a very rapid pace for 2 hours. yeah. go me. so. here it isâŠ.
this is just all about mangas. nothing elseâŠ. oh. and I have finals next weekâŠ.
Naruto 385 âŠâŠuh⊠and the battle ensues. there 'ya go⊠^^ oh. and a little history lesson about the sharingan..blah blah blah..
BLEACH 306 âŠ..eh. nothing much happens. yeah.
âŠ.and the BEST update⊠[This is LONG. and MIGHT BE⊠or.. erm. IS confusingâŠ.soâŠ. if u don't wanna read⊠that's fine. lolâŠ.so.. yeah]
Ouran High School Host Club 57 âŠthe one and ONLY manga that makes me feel all romanc-y and girlyâŠwhich is REALLY weird⊠coz I don't usually like this genreâŠ.. but.. anywayâŠ..
Ouran. YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWEEEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEâŠâŠâŠ. âŠ..spoilers here on. i love this chapter so much. i'm not leaving anything out.
so. ok.
Life at the Music Room 3 continues like normal.. EXCEPT⊠4 people are acting out of character. ^^
1 Hikaru has changed his color to something dark⊠because he and Kaoru have realized their individualityâŠ.On other issuesâŠ. AHEM. HikaruâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.. seems to be CONSTANTLY NEEDING to follow his brother's advices and orders about uh⊠controlling himself. I dunno why. But he seems to want to get Tamaki off of Haruhi's back all the time. I WONDER WHY. hmmmm ^^ (For every 3 minutes he can wait and succesfully control himself⊠Kaoru puts 100Y in his piggy bankâŠlol) ..of course. once the 3 minutes is over. He runs after them REALLY fast. LOLâŠ. (sound effects: SLAM! WAITING'S OVER!)
2 Kaoru⊠at this point⊠have given up on his pursuit for Haruhi because he realized who Haruhi really loves. HOWEVER. He makes it clear that he is on Hikaru's side. ..and constantly gives advices on how to deal with their present predicament (which will be presented on the next 2 characters). He also goes out of the way to make sure the next 2 characters figure out their feeling for each other ON THEIR OWN.. (poor NekozawaâŠlol) because according to him. Helping the 2 is cheating⊠and would TOTALLY kill off the chances Hikaru MIGHT have⊠coughif there is actually anycough
..oh. here's a scene after the "SLAM. WAITING's OVER.. which is the scene after the dialogue I wrote under Honey's section down thereâŠ. so. here: Kyoya: Isn't 100Y each time too cheap? Kaoru: How naive, Kyoya-sempai! For Hikaru to make Haruhi turn around, it's no good if he doesn't at least do this much!!! Because at any rate, if he were to confess now, he would definitely be rejected!! Hikaru: KAORU!!! No matter how you look at it⊠You're saying too much!!! Kaoru: Here. hands over a book to him Since you got angry.. I'll add a book reading assignment in your training program--- Hikaru: stops ..and goes to read a book DAMNIT! Honey: You really are hard with him, Kao-chan. Kaoru: Kinda⊠It is the whip of love.. Leave him to me from now on
3 Tamaki. HmmmâŠ.. He.. as usual. and like what you expected. is VERY THICK. (and yes. I'm using Ron Weasley vocabulary here). He doesn't realize WHY Haruhi is SICK⊠why SHE is obviously avoiding him⊠why she is red.. and why her body temperature goes up when he's with her. âŠ"Your temperature has suddenly risen! We should call an ambulance!!" âŠHe actually thinks of taking her to the hospital for check up the next day. HmmmâŠ. CHARACTER WISE. He has IMPROVED GREATLY. For the first time in the history of this manga⊠Kyoya isn't the only one managing the club. Tamaki tooâŠ. is now supervising Kyoya's work. KNOW WHY? Because he's using the club to practice his business skills⊠since if you remember in chapter 56⊠Haruhi told him there's nothing wrong for going for the whole Suoh heir business⊠soâŠ. he's completely business-like now. EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO HARUHI.
4 OUR HEROIN. VERY. VERY. VEEEERRRYYY. confused about herself. Hmmm⊠>> WHY oh WHY is she ALWAYS having this cold-like sickness? coughlovesickcough âŠshe SAID she went to the doctor. But they seem to tell her she's COMPLETELY healthy. HmmmâŠ. ^^ ..of course⊠DADDY is worried. So he checks up on her temperature by touching her cheeks. Our heroin blushes. And her heartbeat quickens⊠so.. she avoids him. Tamaki⊠thinking her daughter hates him⊠runs after her⊠and they practically play TAG inside Music Room 3. âŠGUESS WHAT's HIKARU doing? ^^
eh..here's a scene after the dialogue in the Kaoru section: Kaoru: More than that, the problem is Haruhi's attitude towards Tono (Tamaki). She is obviously conscious of him. Honey: Yes. She is.. Kyoya: She has said something like she has a "cold". Haruhi is unaware of it herself.
..and the other 3 characters. why not.
5 Honey. âŠaside from his usualy sweets addiction⊠well.. here's a conversationâŠ
H: What do you think Takahashi (Mori)? M: âŠâŠâŠâŠ H: That's right⊠like I thought. Haru-chan has been acting weird ever since then. I don't know what happened between her and Tama-chan.. but it may be "THAT." Kyoya: It IS "THAT." If you want proof, LOOK: *Hikaru seething with a dark look in his eyes.. with a LOT of the word "anger" surrounding him⊠and Kaoru looking at his watch waiting for 3 minutes Kyoya: âŠ.Hikaru is in a bad mood. *Mori and Honey sweatdrops*
âŠnow isn't THAT the funniest scene EVER? ..oh. and this is happening while Tamaki and Haruhi are playing TAG. LOL
6 Mori : ah. âŠ.need I say more? [He acually doesn't say anythingâŠ. as u might have read in that dialogue up there]
7 KyoyaâŠâŠ "We give them because our happiness is for everybody to come everyday to the host club in good health" (thinking: and more importantly for merit points) âŠhaha.. typical Kyoya ^^ âŠand of course. as expected. He just stands there to watchâŠ. probably collecting DATA.. knowing HIM.
8 Mei. I honestly never liked Mei. I mean.. she's ok.. but yeah. Anyhow⊠she is AWESOME in this chapter. Know why? Because she gives Haruhi a MAGAZINE. A TEEN MAGAZINE.
So. the next day. Haruhi comes in schoolâŠ.. remembers what she read in the magazine. and realizes she's in love with Tamaki. THE END. ^_^ yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so. yeah. the end of my manga rant.
Naruto is by Masashi Kishimoto BLEACH is by Tite Kubo Ouran Koukou (High School) Host Club is by Bisco Hatori
âŠgo read them!! lol⊠if u want. [And wow. when I started this⊠I was in a REALLY REALLY bad mood. I'm ok now! ..happy even!!!!!]
Oh. I also read Vampire Knight by Hino MatsuriâŠâŠâŠ
anyhow. I KNOW you don't care about what I read⊠but mel told me to tell her what the mangas I read are so..here they are. ^^
PS. This blog was originally posted on DeviantArt.
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okay so. couple weeks ago my sister broke her nose. she got it set but it was still kind of crooked, so she had an appointment today to set it straight. she asked me to come with her because last time she passed out and her boyfriend barely caught her lol.
anyways iâm with her at this appointment holding her hand, watching her get stuck in the face with numbing needles and grimacing because it looks painful, and sheâs squeezing my hand and iâm squeezing back and i start to get lightheaded and i think, thereâs no fucking way.
hereâs the thing. i am not queasy about medical procedures or whatever. a couple months ago i took my nonna to her dentist appointment and held her hand while (gross warning) the dentist numbed her up and fuckinâ dug out the pieces of her rotten tooth. it was disgusting and i had to watch the whole thing bc she was really distressed and there was literally nowhere else for me to look. iâve also been in first aid crises, right? blood and needles and guts and stuff doesnât bother me, doesnât make me queasy, i keep a pretty level head.
but iâve fainted a few times before (my family has a history) and i know what it feels like, when your ears ring and your stomach gets really tight and you kind of get floaty and you just think oh fuck. and i was like there is no goddamn way my attention seeking ass is about to fucking faint at SOMEONE ELSEâS doctorâs appointment. no. so i grit my teeth and sat on a chair and told myself it Would Be Fine and just breathed through it.
twas not fine! one second i was telling my heart to cool it then next second i was Waking Up On The Floor to my sisterâs ENT specialist freaking out a little đ iâm still half out of it (bc you are for a couple minutes when you come to) and heâs fussing and my sister is asking me if iâm good and iâm thinking fuck i was supposed to be here to look out for her. i gotta chill out. but iâm aware enough to realise iâm still lightheaded and too shakey to drink water and my stomachâs still tight so i just sat on the floor, didnât try to get up or anything, and then BOOM iâm waking up on the floor AGAIN đđ
luckily this time i was actually fine when i woke up. but the specialist was like hey i think i should call an ambulance. and i was like bitch do not??? i do not want to spend the day in the ER for literally no reason?? so my sister called my mom instead (lol) and my mom was like What The Hell, Jackie, and the specialist demanded to talk to her and my mom was like sheâs fine just donât let her drive. iâll come get them.
so i had to wait in the lobby and feel horribly guilty as my sister had her nose reset by herself and then my mother had to rush over on her lunch break, pick us up, and then we had to sit in her car in the parking lot for two hours until her work was done boring as HELL especially bc i was fine by then lol
whole thing was so ridiculous it was the most sitcom situation iâve been in for a while đđaccompany my sister to her appointment so she doesnât faint and then I FAINT TWICE LIKE WHO DOES THIS HAPPEN TO đđđđđđđđ
would yâall like another insane storytime đ
#i am still in shock at this dumb as a situation#and now i have to get my blood tested đ€Ą#itâs probably low iron tho#personal#longpost
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