#then its an interlude of a little more than a week and my next one is on the 13th

[wolfchans]

Starting tomorrow i gotta start studying for my February finals 🙂 I've gotten my two weeks of doing absolutely nothing but it ends tomorrow

Im just hoping it isn't too hot or humid all 1749203792 days of January bc I'll hate every second of it if i have to study theory for 3 finals while sweating my ass off

[colettebronte]

Presumptuous: Chapter 6.5

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Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: What does Y/n get up to during the day at the resort? This particular one features a life-changing phone call, lunch with a friend and preparations for the evening

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: 18+ for the overall fic but for this chapter, it’s completely tame, so there are no content warnings for this one, unless you need one for Benedict Bridgerton 😏 Minors DNI. I will put this up on Ao3 so please do not repost my work elsewhere

Author’s Note: This is a short one which is why I’m calling it a half chapter. Thank you once more to @fayes-fics who graciously looked over this part several times, while it was in various stages of being

Ch 6.5: Daytime Interlude

You wake up alone, which while expected, still stings a bit, especially after pouring your heart out so thoroughly the night before. There’s no note on your pillow and you wonder if Anthony found the one you left in his robe pocket.

 You roll over to check the time on your phone and are surprised to see a missed call and voicemail from an unknown UK number. Sitting up, you play the message.

“Hello, this is Benedict Bridgerton from the Bridgerton Family Charitable Trust. I'm trying to reach Y/n Y/l/n, in regards to the CV they submitted for one of the open positions in our executive office. I’d like to set up an interview via phone or Zoom at their earliest convenience. I can be reached at . . . .”

Surprised, you drop your phone even as the man continues to rattle off his details, the sound muffled by the bed sheets. Was this really happening? Of all the companies you had applied to, this was by far your longest shot. Or so you had thought.

Doing quick timezone math, you determine the difference isn’t so bad and besides, you’ll probably end up leaving a message with the man’s assistant anyway. Surely the earliest you’ll hear back will be the next day.

You call the number he provided but rather than get an assistant, the man himself answers. After your brief shock, you introduce yourself and following his enthusiastic response, barely a half hour later you find yourself sitting in front of your laptop waiting for your interview to begin.

There’s a tell-tale ping and then you’re looking at Benedict Bridgerton, his friendly smile setting you at ease. What follows is one of the best interview experiences of your life. Benedict “Please call me Ben,” Bridgerton is thorough and attentive. His questions are engaging and it’s like you’re chatting with an old friend rather than a potential employer.

When you tell him about how the Trust helped when you were younger, he gets choked up for a moment, before enquiring about how your Nan is faring these days.

As the interview nears its end, Ben takes off his glasses and sets them down on his desk and asks, “So, when can you start?”

You blink and clear your throat. “Surely you have other applicants to interview.”

Ben offers you a lop-sided grin. “Are you trying to talk me out of hiring you?” At your wide-eyed stare, he shakes his head, letting out a quiet laugh. “The truth is, as soon as I saw your CV,  I had a feeling you would be perfect for the job. Talking with you for this last little while confirmed it.”

You can’t stop the smile that breaks across your face. “Thank you so much! As I mentioned earlier, I’m on vacation but I’ll be back at the end of the week. I can start next Monday, if that works.”

Ben nods, and then looks down to consult a paper on his desk. “That sounds perfect. And when would you like to take possession of the flat?”

You frown. “The flat?”

Ben looks up. “Yes. We offer free accommodations to everyone employed by The Trust. It’s within walking distance to the office and comes fully furnished. The building is lovely, I assure you. I lived there myself for a few years, before I got married.”

You have a job and a flat. Your two biggest worries are now solved. If you could, you'd reach through the screen and kiss this man, married or not.

“As it happens, I’m between flats right now, staying with my best friend. I can move in when I get back to London.”

Ben rests his chin on his hands. “If you’d like, I’m happy to send movers round to your friend’s place and collect your things and have them brought to the new flat so that you can head there straight from the airport. In fact, if you don’t mind sending me your return flight details, I’ll send a car for you and the driver can give you the keys.”

And what else can you say but a tearful, “Yes, that would all be wonderful. Thank you.”

**********

Understandably, there’s a spring in your step as you head out for an early lunch. Today, you decide to eat at what’s become your favorite spot, a small cafe-style restaurant that overlooks a gorgeous indoor waterfall. The black-wire framed furniture surrounded by tropical flowers combined with the sound of the falling water gives the place a peaceful vibe and always sets the tone for your day. Once you’re seated and given a menu you fire off a quick text.

Just as a waitress comes to take your order, Michaela arrives and takes the seat across from you. She’s dressed casually in a simple but elegant tennis dress, signifying that she’s on her lunch break. On a whim one morning, you invited  her to have lunch with you which she readily accepted, and so for the last few days, sharing a meal together has become your routine while she’s on her break.

When your food and drinks arrive, you share your news with her and she smiles, clapping her hands together, before coming around the table to give you a big hug. Over your meals the past few days, you’ve shared details of your personal lives with each other. Michaela hasn’t just proven herself to be a competent Front Desk Clerk but also a very good confidante and friend.

You’re debating on which dessert to share when your phone pings with an email notification, which you see is from Anthony. Did he find your note? If so, what does he think of your idea? Does he love it or hate it? Or worse, what if he didn’t find it at all? You’re not sure you have the nerve to suggest again what you did last night in your post-orgasm haze, now that you’re in the bright light of day. Steeling yourself, you open your email app.

I found the note you left for me. I am delighted and intrigued by your suggestion for tonight’s activities. I look forward to hearing back about the details. - Anthony

You can’t help but feel absolutely giddy at his response. It must show on your face because Michaela flashes you one of her all-knowing looks.

“Is there anything I can do to help you to prepare for tonight?”

Laughing, you say, “Well, since you’re so generously offering, there are a few supplies I’ll need that I could use some help procuring.”

After you decide on a dessert, you make a list and text it to Michaela. She merely raises an eyebrow and says, “When I get back to the front desk, I’ll get to work on having these sent to your room.”

Raising your water glass in a toast to her, you decide that you are absolutely tripling whatever gratuity your all-inclusive package is leaving her as a tip.

**********

After lunch you phone Nan to tell her the news of your new job and flat but your call goes straight to her voicemail. Realizing what time it is in the UK, you chide yourself for daring to call during her daily mahjong game. You leave her a message, knowing she’ll call you back after she trounces all the poor ladies who dare to play her.

You call your best friend who promises to pack up your stuff and then demands to get drinks to celebrate your new job once you get home. You thank her and promise to meet up at your local once you’re settled into the job.

Not long after you hang up with your best friend, a staff member arrives with a box filled with the supplies you asked Michaela to help you get. Thankfully, it’s covered so you don’t have to explain the contents to them.

Placing the box on the desk you snap a picture and send it to Anthony, asking if there was anything in there he objected to.

While you wait to hear back, you decide to hit one of the resort’s pools, content to while away the rest of your afternoon with a book, a swim and a cocktail or three.

You’re several chapters and a mai tai and a half deep when you hear back from Anthony.

Everything looks delightful. I look forward to another unforgettable evening together. - Anthony

Well then, that’s sorted.

taglist: @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @faye-tale @cosmiclove330 @abridgerton @fiction-is-life @kmc1989 @alexandrainlove @ietss @itsyagirlmeee @multi-fandom-lover7667 @turtle-cant-communicate @liliac-dreamer @daphne-daisy daisy @hottytoddyhistory @queenofmean14 @syraxnyra @chelseyyouraverageluigi @jtheteenagewitch

[annakie]

FIXING THE HOUSE - A little interlude

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude. (YOU ARE HERE)

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

Part Seven: Backwards to go Forwards

Part Eight: Master of Bathrooms

Part Nine: Within a Room, Somewhere

Part Ten: Rooms With No View

Part Eleven: Big Bang Room Part A and also Part B!

Part Twelve: We Can Make It On the Outside

Part Thirteen: Mauve Haze Symphony

Part Fourteen (A) - In the Kitchen

Part Fourteen (B) - Copper Green

---

I have so much to say and no time to say it. Just like... none.

What started out as "Get the new roof on the house (CRITICAL!) and a new back patio roof put up (SERIOUS and would become critical in the next couple of years) and get an 8' Cedar Fence put up (ANY fence was critical but the size and materials was a splurge)... and hey while we're at it, let's get a ceiling fan on that new patio... oh shit the house might catch fire and burn down because the fusebox is dying...

...so all that has spiraled hugely. It's turned into more or less a full home renovation. A renovation much, much needed if you'd seen the state of the place. Liveable, but embarassing with how dated it was and how many things just didn't work quite right, or at all.

It's turned into "I found an amazing contractor who does a great job and charges very fair rates who I get along with great, so let's just spend a huge chunk of my savings and fix every damn thing we can that's wrong in this house, or will soon be wrong in this house, let's make it a place worth living in, a place that will someday sell for more than minimum, a place that for the first time in 21 years I can actually be proud of." It's "Hey, Arturo? Can we fix this?" "Sure, I can do that." "OK, how much? Wait, are you serious, OK I can afford that?!"

It's not just getting the things done that needed to be done but many things that I just wanted. It's Arturo throwing in some amazing little bonuses for free, and doing a lot of little things he doesn't have to do because he's just that awesome.

It's my brain starting to get fried from all of the choices. Every day, so many choices.

It's my cats hiding in the guest room closet all day from the noise, it's me sleeping in the guest room for two and a half weeks so far because the master bedroom is too useful for storage and a thoroughfare. It's every room getting something done -- even if its just a fresh coat of paint and the rewiring, and some rooms being torn apart almost completely and put back together the way I've always envisioned them.

It's now being used to getting my actual job done with hammering and sawing happening 10 feet away, and other people doing their job fixing up my house around me while i do my job at my WFH desk so I can pay them.

It's so much, guys. It's awesome, and a little terrifying, and exhausting. It's me barely keeping up with my responsibilities and trying to be a good friend and not talk about me me me all the time when everything every day is filled with new and exciting things for me.

Today that thing was taking a shower in my home and enjoying it for the first time ever, not wanting to get out ASAP because of how much I hate my bathroom.

At some point, I'm going to have time and energy to start posting pictures and talking about it in-depth again. This last month or two has been a once in a lifetime experience probably, and I want to remember it. It's going to keep going on for another probably two weeks at this point. I'm just too busy or tired or brain-fried at the end of every day to post about it.

But here, here's a preview. This is what my life is right now,and I both absolutely love it and am so tired and ready for it all to be done. But only when every choice is made and every "Hey, Arturo, can we...?" is complete.

[radiaurapple]

Lucid Dreams of New Orleans: Chapter 7

CHAPTER SUMMARY: IN WHICH Alastor resolves a pest problem.

The last time Lucifer saw his father, he was granted a fragment of His divine power — a punishment in the guise of a blessing — that he might serve as steward of the wayward souls cast down into Hell. It is a cruel gift, designed to ensure that he will always be haunted by his mistakes; Lucifer has endured the past seven thousand years by avoiding its use at all costs. But in the aftermath of the fight with Adam, Alastor’s worsening injury threatens the foundations of his daughter’s dream. Lucifer does what any good father would do: he uses his long-forgotten power to deliver Alastor’s soul from the brink of destruction. In turn, knowing Alastor — with all his sins, past lives, and heartbreaks — teaches Lucifer a little more about what it means to be human.

[AO3 LINK]

New chapter and new art!! note that chapter 6 is an interlude so this takes place directly after chapter 5. Next chapter is dropping in a week as usual!! chapter preview below 📻🍎

All Hell breaks loose the next morning. 

Niffty has, apparently, been keeping a colony of more than three hundred rats in her room — and the prior evening, while Alastor was occupied with his interrogation, she had seen fit to set them loose in the hotel. 

Charlie calls an emergency meeting after Angel Dust wakes the hotel with his — frankly childish — screeching about a rat in his bathtub. 

They convene in the kitchen to assess the situation. Niffty, perched on the counter, snickers and openly admits to releasing the rats for what she terms their playtime. 

A consensus quickly emerges. Niffty is Alastor’s responsibility; so, too, are the rats. 

Alastor’s dominion over the radio is equal parts blessing and curse in his search and rescue operation. If he concentrates, he can hear the shuffling, sniffing, and squeaking of all 312 rats in the hotel — which, while helpful in locating the rats, makes it more difficult for him to plead ignorance regarding those that have wormed their way into the worst predicaments imaginable.

This is how Alastor finds himself on his knees, dismantling the toilet in Husker’s bathroom.

“Oh, Hell,” Angel Dust says — Alastor hadn’t heard him come in, focused as he is on loosening two pipes in the water line that appear to have somehow, in the six weeks since they rebuilt the hotel, rusted together. 

Alastor grimaces. “I’m quite busy.”

“Sure,” Angel says. “Y’know, you ain’t gonna find a rat inside the pipes. They can’t live in there.”

“These ones can. I’ve come to the conclusion that these are not rats — they’re demons, sent from some lower ring of Hell to ruin us. They are relentlessly determined to evade me. And they. Don’t. Die.” Alastor heaves at the wrench with both hands — it budges perhaps an inch. He huffs. 

“Huh.”

Alastor shakes out his aching hands and looks up at Angel. “Can I help you?”

“Oh — yeah, I was just wondering if my bathroom is clear, now, or if I should wait to shower? It’s just, I gotta get to work soon.” 

Alastor listens — one of his ears twitches. 

“It should be fine, if you’re quick,” he says. 

“Right,” Angel says. He takes off at a run. “Thanks!”

Alastor raises a hand in acknowledgement and returns to his task. The pipes have begun to drip around the join, which complicates matters — Alastor did shut off the water before he began this accursed project, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still wet in there. 

Footsteps behind him. 

“Angel. If don’t leave me to my work, I’ll —” Alastor glances over his shoulder — “Oh. It’s you.”

Lucifer stands behind him, smiling sheepishly, his hands clasped behind his back. “I brought you a present,” he says. 

With a flourish, he produces a rat in a golden cage. The creature is standing on its hind legs with its tiny hands wrapped around the bars. At the sight of Alastor, it shrieks in frustration — further evidence that the creatures’ disdain for him is somehow personal. Lucifer places the cage on the tile next to Alastor.

“Thank you,” Alastor says. “That leaves only —” he cocks his head to the side and listens — “Two hundred and sixty-two. Including this one.” He inclines his head toward the plumbing and resumes the miserable task of loosening the pipes. 

“You don’t know a thing about plumbing, do you?” Lucifer says. 

Alastor huffs in irritation — Lucifer leans over him with a smug smile on his face. “Those pipes are heat welded,” Lucifer says. “You’ll be here all day if you insist on using a wrench. Allow me.”

Before Alastor can protest, Lucifer tugs off a glove and places his hand over the join. There is a sizzle, a puff of steam, a flare of heat across Alastor’s face — and the two pipes come apart effortlessly in Lucifer’s hand with a cartoonish and unnecessary pop. Lucifer withdraws, a smug smile on his face — his fingers leave molten orange prints behind on the metal, which fade away after a moment. 

“Show-off,” Alastor grumbles. He sends a shadow tentacle in after the pipe rat — a tiny shriek echoes from the darkness. As the rat emerges, it makes a desperate grab for the edge of the pipe, kicking and screaming. 

Lucifer snaps his fingers; the rat disappears and reappears inside the golden cage with its brother. 

“Your assistance is unnecessary,” Alastor grumbles without any real heat — getting into those pipes on his own was pretty miserable. 

Lucifer smiles like Alastor has just given him a compliment. “You’re welcome,” he says. “Now — I need to get back to it. I just made a breakthrough on a project I’m working on, and I have a meeting this afternoon with the other sins.”

“The project is a rubber duck.” 

Lucifer frowns. “What else would it be?” 

“Just confirming,” Alastor says. “Now, there’s another rat in the light fixture. So. If you don’t mind.”

“Oh! Sure. Good luck.” Lucifer backs out of the room, but pauses in the doorway. “I’ll — I’ll see you later? Tonight?”

“I will be back to collect on our deal once every single one of these infernal vermin are back in captivity.” Each word is punctuated by a further unfolding of Alastor’s antlers — he breathes deeply to bring them back under control. “I expect it will take several days. Enjoy your reprieve.”

“Right. Right. Of course. Okay. See you, Al.” Lucifer ducks out of the room.

Alastor stares after Lucifer in confusion for a long moment. Al — the abbreviation reeks of familiarity. The people closest to Alastor had called him that, when he was alive — does Lucifer share that fellowship now, due to the knowledge he’s acquired? The idea is disconcerting, so he puts it aside and returns to his work. 

It takes Alastor all day to wrangle the first 104 rats. He delivers them into Niffty’s waiting hands, and she welcomes each one home by name. 

He heads for the bar, exhausted, to collect the night’s highball from Husker; then he slips into the shadows and across the hotel to his room. He hangs his coat by the door. His ears twitch — on the other side of the wall is the unmistakable cacophony of a dozen displeased rats. 

He peeks his head through the door. He blinks. Twelve pairs of irate red eyes regard him from twelve golden cages, stacked neatly on his doormat like the misguided offerings of a house cat.

A smile creeps across Alastor’s face. He closes the door gently — he’ll bring the rats to Niffty in the morning. 

[AO3 LINK]

[zaebeecee]

To Sever a Loveless Bond

••RadioDust Soulmate AU••

Part 7/?

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Read on AO3

Chapter 7 art by @fletchingbrilliant

•••

Something of an interlude chapter and a bit shorter, sorry about that. Doctor stuff slowed me down today.

•••

Guillermo’s was a small cafe on the fifteenth floor of an office building in the Greed District. It was ludicrously exclusive, the kind of place that you had to really know someone in order to get into, and it served as close to real Italian food as you could find in Hell. It was one of the few decent restaurants that wasn’t seen as part of Rosie’s overlord territory, and often saw business from overlords, various high-ranking Hellborn visiting the Pride ring, a few of the Goetian nobility, and even (on one occasion, judging by the framed and signed photo on the wall) the famous imp clown, Fizzarolli. You needed a reservation, and it could take weeks or even months to get in.

Angel Dust had never once had to wait to get into Guillermo’s. No matter when he showed up, there was a table for him, no questions asked. This was because Angel had done the place a favor by keeping the Vees from attempting to interfere with it, a thing that could easily ruin any business. And the reason Angel did them such a favor was because the place was funded—and unofficially managed by—his older brother, Arackniss.

Their entire living existence, Angel and Arackniss had a difficult relationship. Volatile, and often violent, they had at least been unified in their shared hatred of their parents and had managed to become amicable business partners after the death of their father and Arackniss’s subsequent management of the Family Business.

Arackniss had never said it, but Angel was pretty sure that Anthony’s overdose had been the final nail in the coffin of their animosity, and now, they got along well enough for two guys with nothing in common who didn’t see each other for years at a time. It had its perks, especially since Arackniss was still tangled up in Hell’s mafia and had more connections than Vox had ports.

Family is family, I guess. Even down here.

Angel was taken to a table near the window the moment he arrived, and he warned them that Cherri was coming, both so they would let her in and so they could… well, prepare for her presence. This was one of their regular spots, after all—just because Angel never saw Arackniss, and just because they no longer wanted to kill each other, didn’t mean Angel wanted to stop being an annoying little brother who took advantage of big bro’s position—and while Cherri had never caused any real property damage, she had destroyed a few tables, quite a few place settings, and at least one old bitch’s ugly hat. Because of that, the restaurant had started taking special precautions when they knew she was going to be there.

There had once been discussion among the staff about banning both of them. Within a week, half of them had been silently replaced, and nothing more was said about it.

Cherri arrived ten minutes later, looking the same sort of artistic hot mess she always did. It wasn’t unusual for her to be late, generally because she either picked a fight on her way anywhere or had one picked with her, and she could never leave that fight alone until she had finished it.

“Oh my god I hate sharks,” she muttered as she slid into the chair across from Angel. “Hey, baby, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, I just got here,” Angel said, grinning at her irritated tone. “How’s tricks?”

“Tricky.”

When the waiter came by, Cherri ordered a Bloody Mary, but Angel just asked for water. As soon as the imp was gone, Angel noticed her staring at him with one large and squinting eye. “What?”

“I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“Something is wrong,” she said. “You never pass up the chance to drink, and besides, you only wanna come here when something is bothering you.”

“I don’t always drink, and— wait, what?” Angel frowned. “The hell I do.”

“The hell you don’t,” Cherri said. “You always wanna come here when you’re upset about something because your brother owns this place and it’s like letting your big bro keep you safe.”

Angel barked out a laugh. “Oh, that is utter bullshit. Rack and I ain’t never been those kinda brothers.”

“Call it bullshit all you want, you still always have some kind of life-altering drama when you wanna meet here.” The imp came back, gave them their drinks, and then retreated; they always got the same food, so nobody bothered asking them anymore. “And you do, don’t you?” Cherri continued like she hadn’t been interrupted.

“…okay, first off, fuck you. Second, just because I got shit to tell you don’t mean you’re right.”

Cherri smirked, her cross-shaped pupil flickering a brighter pink in amusement. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Dish.”

Angel sighed, drumming one set of fingers on the table as he thought about how best to start. He could admit when there was a flaw in his own plan, and for all that he wanted Cherri to snap him back to reality, he hadn’t included the part where he had to actually tell her what the fuck was happening. “…it’s… I need you to give me your hundred percent honest opinion about someone. No holds barred.”

“Oh, honey, that’s not a problem. Who?”

Angel nodded. “…Alastor.”

Her eyebrow shot up. “Alastor? Like, Mister Radio Face? That guy?” Angel nodded. “The last time I gave you any kind of opinion on him, you told me I was too hard on him because I didn’t know him.”

“…I didn’t say that, did I?” Angel asked, deflating a little.

“Oh, bitch, you did,” Cherri said with a humorless laugh. “And you were really adamant, too.”

Angel sighed and put his head in two of his hands, his other two arms folded on the table. “Just humor me, Cherri.”

“Okay,” she said, drawing the word out, before she started speaking fairly quickly. “I think he’s a dangerous and unstable psychopath who’s probably never experienced a real emotion in his life and who gets his kicks manipulating everyone he meets for the hell of it. He’s mean, he’s violent, he’s untrustworthy, he’s completely unlikeable, and he smells terrible. The only two positives I have is that he’s as strong as he claims to be and he has a great radio voice, but otherwise, I wouldn’t consider him worth the powder it would take to blow him up.”

Angel sighed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you would say.”

When he finally lowered his hands, he saw Cherri watching him expectantly. As soon as she realized Angel wasn’t going to say anything, she asked, “Why are you so interested in my opinion on the radio jackass, anyway? You already know I don’t like him.”

“I know, I know, nobody does,” Angel said, unable to keep a level of distress out of his voice. “It… I need somebody to knock some sense into me, that’s all. And if I tell you why, I really, really need you to stay calm.”

“I make no promises.”

“Then I ain’t tellin’ you.”

“Fuck…” Cherri sighed and rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms. “Okay. I will do my best. Spit it out.”

Angel drew a deep, steadying breath. “He’s my soulmate.”

There was a scream at the next table as someone’s plate of spaghetti exploded.

“Cherri!” Angel hissed.

“I’m sorry!” she said, matching his tone, looking a combination of furious and in absolute shock. “But you… you have got to be fucking kidding me! The Radio Demon?!”

“Shut up shut up shut up!” Angel waved his hands at her. “You told me you’d try to keep a lid on it!”

“The table’s still here, isn’t it?” Cherri placed her hands on the tabletop, like she was emphasizing her point, before she took a few slow breaths. “Okay. Alright. I’m fine, at least as fine as I’m gonna get. What happened?”

She did seem to calm down considerably as Angel told her about the night in the kitchen, going into more detail with her than he had with Husk. When he was finished, they sat in silence for a moment, Angel picking lightly at his food.

“And you’re sure he has one, too?” Cherri asked.

“Well, I saw it,” Angel said. “But… I mean, I got one and it activated when he touched me, don’t that mean he’s got one too?”

Cherri shrugged. “I’ve heard it’s not always… they don’t always come in pairs,” she said. “I mean, it’s Hell, right? Wouldn’t be Hell if everybody had a destined happy ending.”

“Ain’t it bad enough, bein’ tied to someone for all eternity?” Angel asked with a sigh.

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

“We’re figuring out how to break it,” Angel said. “Val found out it activated, so if I don’t do it, the Vees will. Alastor’s friend Rosie says she can find a… a ritual, or a spell, or some shit that can do it. But she says we have to finish our bond, so we’ve started… hanging out, I guess. He’s makin’ me dinner tonight.”

Cherri blinked slowly at him. “Wouldn’t trust a single thing he called food.” Angel couldn’t help a small laugh at that, but it died quickly. “So… how does he feel about it?” Cherri asked, with an edge of danger in her voice that he found perplexing.

“I… whaddya mean?”

“You said you’re breaking it because of the Vees. How does he feel about it?” Cherri clarified. “He isn’t exactly shy about his opinions, I know you know.”

“Oh, he’s fuckin’ thrilled about the idea of breakin’ it. Can’t wait to get rid of the burden, I guess,” Angel said with a roll of his eyes and a dismissive wave.

Strangely, Cherri said, “That asshole.”

Angel blinked at her. “Wait, what?”

She didn’t back down. “What kind of callous dick would be excited about breaking a soul bond with you??”

“I… thought you didn’t like him,” Angel said, one eyebrow arching.

“I don’t!” she declared in the same tone. “But that’s not the fucking point! How dare he consider a soul bond with you to be a burden on him! He’s the absolute worst creature that Hell had the audacity to spit out of whatever pit he came from, and you are perfect! He should be fucking honored that he got matched up with you!”

Angel couldn’t help it; he started giggling, his face heating up as tears welled in his eyes. He pressed one hand over his mouth. “Cherri…!”

“I’m serious,” she said, and she absolutely sounded it. “Ungrateful, disrespectful gripper. God, I should go blow him up for that!”

Angel’s giggles turned into laughter. “Stop stop stop don’t do that…!”

Cherri huffed in irritation and stabbed her pasta with her fork. “Well, I’m going to think about it really hard.” She hesitated, then looked up at him again. “You didn’t explain what you meant earlier.”

“About what?”

“You said you needed sense knocked into you. You didn’t say why.”

Angel looked down. “Right. I didn’t.” He sighed, folding his arms on the table again “I… I don’t know if it’s the mark, or… We went out last night. To a club. Rosie said it’d be a good idea for us to spend time together, and we both like jazz and dancing. So…” He shrugged a little. “And we had a real good time, y’know? Or, I mean, I did, anyway. I think he did. And I liked… I liked spending time with him. I like listening to him talk. He’s funny, and he’s charming, and he’s a kinda crass I ain’t really used to. He’s a good cook, he’s polite most of the time, he doesn’t… y’know.”

Cherri waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, she said, “He doesn’t treat you like a whore.”

“…yeah.”

“I guess he wouldn’t. He doesn’t seem to have interest in that.” Cherri tapped her fingers on the table. “…baby… I don’t have anything I can tell you that you don’t already know. You know who he is, you know what he’s like, and you know what will happen if you keep going this way.”

“I know,” Angel agreed softly. “But I… I can’t help it. I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t want to—…” He sighed. “I think about breakin’ the bond and losin’… whatever this is, and I feel kinda like freakin’ out.”

Cherri nodded. “I get it,” she said. “But hey. Angel. After it breaks, you two can still be friends, can’t you?”

Can we?

I don’t know.

“I hope so.”

•••

Alastor was, above all things, a creature that had been molded for a solitary lifestyle.

That had always suited Alastor just fine, if one asked him. His mother said he had been a strange, wrong child even as a baby—“My little curse,” she had called him, with more affection than a being like him had ever warranted—and he couldn’t remember a time in his living existence that he had ever had someone he could truthfully call a friend. Hell was no exception to this, and for nearly one hundred years, Alastor had cheerfully stalked the streets of Pentagram City, leaving nothing but fear in his wake.

Except Rosie, of course, but she hardly counted. She was the overlord of the cannibals, and if he couldn’t make friends with someone like that, he supposed he was as hopeless as most believed him to be.

The knowledge of soul marks had been, at first, a shock. It hadn’t been long for it to turn into an insult, however, as Alastor wondered who could possibly have the gall to presume to saddle him with some doe-eyed, simpering creature who would be nothing but an inconvenience.

He had once told Husker and Niffty that, should his soulmate ever be unfortunate enough to find him, he would make sure they received everything that a bond with the Radio Demon warranted. As he described the dishes he would make with their organs, the tools he would make with their bones, and the clothing he would make with their skin… Alastor still remembered with open fondness the look of terror on old Husker’s face as his ears flattened and his wings shivered. Maybe he was imagining it happening to him, or perhaps, to whoever his bond tied him to.

And that was good. He should have imagined that. Alastor would not be any gentler with the mates of his pets than he would be with his own.

Even Niffty had looked almost disturbed, by the end of his speech.

Of course, for all his talk, Alastor had never truly wished to find his soul mate. Fun as it would be to make new boots out of their belly skin, it would still come with the knowledge that he had been shackled to someone, even for such a short period of time. Alastor had never seen the point of romance, always viewing it as ridiculous at best and a complete waste of time at worst, and to think of it as even more compulsory than the society in which he was raised was downright offensive.

He had not planned on Angel Dust stirring that pain in his mark. Even with its shape… Alastor had never once contemplated that it might be him.

Of course, he was reasonable enough to think that it could have simply been because he didn’t want it to be Angel Dust. There had been no way to anticipate the creature he had first met upon setting foot into the hotel, a figure he knew well simply through social mitosis. A porn star, an employee of the Vees. Easy to write off. Easier to ignore.

But then Angel Dust had… hit on him, so flippantly and casually, almost like he was making a joke. And when Alastor had refused, Angel Dust never lost his smile, just shrugging and telling Alastor it was his loss. Alastor had anticipated that would be the end of it—he had made it quite clear he was not a potential john, and couldn’t fathom any other reason for Valentino’s prostitute to interact with him—but it wasn’t the end of it.

Alastor was the Radio Demon. He had toppled the empires of overlords who had controlled Hell for decades, centuries, before his death. He was a figure that even those who did not know him ran from. He inspired more than fear, he inspired terror.

And, within a week of knowing him, Angel Dust had given him four nicknames (each more ridiculous than the last), he had suggested they film a pornography together as a commercial to attract guests, and he had tried no less than seven times to see how strict his five foot rule was. And, through it all, he had remained so infuriatingly affable.

It hadn’t taken long for Alastor to contemplate the pros and cons of killing him. The pros were many—chief among them that he wouldn’t have to put up with Angel Dust anymore—but the two cons outweighed the rest. The first was that he was the hotel’s celebrity guest and it wouldn’t have been good for Charlie’s project to lose him.

The second was that Alastor simply didn’t want him gone.

He told himself many things. Maybe he just found the spider amusing. Maybe he wasn’t worth Alastor’s time and knife. Maybe Alastor simply thought that the years of drugs and sex and whatever Valentino had done would make Angel Dust’s meat unfit for consumption. And because Alastor so rarely reevaluated someone once passing judgment on them, the fact that he was constantly reevaluating the spider was infuriating.

But it was the mark. It had to be. And soon, that mark would be gone.

“Rosie, my dear!” Alastor called as he opened the door to her emporium and strode inside, twirling his microphone staff with a practiced ease. The shop was empty—not unusual for this time in the afternoon—and he didn’t immediately set eyes on her. “Are you here?”

“I’m in my work room, Alastor!” Rosie called. Alastor stepped around the counter and dutifully followed the sound of her voice, finding her sitting on a couch and hemming what appeared to be a deep green formal gown. “Hello, darling, so nice to see you so soon,” she said.

“Yes, well, I find myself in need of your services,” Alastor said, setting the end of his staff on the floor and placing one hand over the casing of the microphone. “I’m going to be making quite the dinner tonight and I require some rather specialized ingredients. Where better to come but to the mistress of the culinary arts herself?”

Rosie laughed. “Flatterer,” she said, with a smile that told him it worked. “Just let me finish this hem and I’ll get you all set up. What’s the occasion?”

“No real occasion,” Alastor said, settling on a plush ottoman near her to wait. “I’m simply certain that Angel Dust has not had anything resembling a proper meal in many years, excepting the jambalaya I made the other night. I plan to rectify that.”

“Oh, it’s for Angie, is it?” Rosie asked with a bright smile.

Alastor was fairly certain he didn’t care for her tone, but he couldn’t put his finger on why. “Yes,” he said simply.

Rosie nodded, her smile turning to something… untrustworthy, Alastor would call it. “I hear he helped you cook the other night.”

“Yes, he helped me with the jambalaya,” Alastor said. “He was so very insistent, and he has so many hands, I thought it would be a crime not to make use of them.” Rosie made a humming noise, and Alastor stared at her. “What.”

“Oh, nothing, sweetie, nothing. Glad to hear the two of you are getting along.”

“As well as two such vastly different people can, I suppose,” Alastor said lightly. “But I will admit that the outing he suggested yesterday was quite entertaining. I knew he did something that some people consider dancing, of a sort, but I had no idea that he truly knew how to dance.”

Rosie laughed. “He got you to go out dancing, hm? I didn’t think you went to clubs.”

“I don’t!” Alastor said brightly. “But they had serviceable rye and their house band’s ability to play jazz was wholly inoffensive. Quite the surprise, I assure you.”

“Glad to hear you’re making a friend.”

Alastor felt the record needle in his head—more a metaphorical description than anything actually tangible or physical—skip for a brief moment, and heard her giggle as she registered the audio stutter that went along with it. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Rosie said, and despite the fact that her eyes were nothing but black voids, he knew she was rolling them. “But it took you three decades to admit that we were friends, and that was after you had been visiting me at least once every two weeks.”

“You are quite the conversationalist,” Alastor admitted. “Never thought I would find that in Hell, of all places.”

“It seems Angie is quite the conversationalist as well.”

Alastor squinted at her. “He hardly spoke when I brought him here. How do you come to that conclusion?”

“Because you had a good time going out and drinking with him,” Rosie said. “And you’re having dinner with him tonight. If you found him to be a bore, getting you to spend time together would be like pulling teeth, no matter how badly you want your bond broken.”

Alastor made a noise that was something like a growl low in his throat and looked away; he felt his ears flick backwards, and they ignored his mental urging to stand back up. “Yes. Well. …I suppose I appreciate his… candor, and he has quite the amusing sense of humor if you can get him away from more carnal topics. Fascinating perspective on life, as well; I’ll admit I never spent much time conversing with—” He cut himself off before he could say the first phrase that came to mind, both unbidden and unwanted.

With his kind.

No.

No, that was never something Alastor would use to describe another. Particularly not one that society viewed as lesser.

“With… what was the phrase he used… prostitution whoreses,” he said instead, doing his best approximation of Angel Dust’s Brooklyn accent and drawing a laugh from Rosie. “The kinds of people he has met, the sorts of jobs he has done… fascinating! He spared me the gory details, as it were, but the things people will pay actual money for seem to belong on quite the inexhaustible list.”

Rosie nodded, finishing off her seam. “Like I said. Friends.”

“You try my patience, my dear.”

“I know. Perhaps you should try it sometime.” He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t think of a response, and she got to her feet with a bright smile. “Come along, then. I’m sure you’ll need to get back and start cooking, won’t you?”

“Yes,” Alastor said, gathering himself again before he followed her from the room. He had the mind to ask her about her progress on discerning the ritual to break the bond.

He didn’t ask.

He didn’t know why he didn’t ask, but he didn’t.

It simply gave him an odd and unpleasant feeling. It was the bond talking, Alastor knew that, but knowing it didn’t make the sensation more tolerable. It was nothing like the feeling he’d had when asking Angel Dust if he would like to have dinner, a strange trepidation mixed with anticipation that made it difficult to even properly form the question. And the feeling when he had accepted…

Was it relief? Perhaps.

It wasn’t happiness. Alastor never felt happiness, not anymore.

But Alastor couldn’t imagine why Angel Dust saying yes would make him feel relieved. Of course Angel Dust would accept. He wanted this bond gone as much as Alastor did himself, of that he was certain. The thought was a different sort of unpleasant, one that he couldn’t put a name to. It felt like it would go very deep if he followed it, and where those depths would lead, he couldn’t begin to guess.

Of course, he didn’t blame Angel Dust for wanting to sever their bond.

He wouldn’t want himself as a soulmate, either.

•••

[hauntedwitch04]

Love on ice

Steve Harrington x figureskater! Reader

Words: about 1.3k words

Warnings: none, just me talking during the one shot like it's a fleabag episode ahahah

Author's note: Hi! I'M SO SORRY, but saying that uni is kiking my ass is little. I have so much to study and a little time to do it, but after a week (and some day) I finally managed to write a oneshot for the b-day for the beautiful @mystargirl-interlude. It's not much, but I hope you like it!

Requests are open I Ask

My masterlist

Join the Taglist

Buy me a coffee - Patreon submission

Bday plan

<><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<><<<<<<<<<<><<<<<<<><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>

The first thing you notice upon entering the arena is the cold. It's not that it's not cold outside, but inside this place, because of the ice rink it always feels like entering a freezer.

You have headphones on and don't really hear your surroundings until without really thinking about where you are stepping you collide with a strong, imposing figure. You take a few steps back from that abrupt contact and notice that the wall you had seemed to run into was none other than the famous Steve Harrington. The only nice guy on the field hockey team you've ever met.

Disagreements between these two sports have always been very well known, and even somewhat canonized, but that is not at all the case with our golden boy in front of you. He is always ready to clear the ice rink first in case you have to train more for important competitions, he comes very often to watch your competitions and support your team, but above all he does not denigrate your sport, but on the contrary he always compliments you on your skill and technique, admiring you for what you can do.

Damn I think I need a moment alone, this man is too perfect, ... but back to our story.

Once he, too, realizes who you were, he blushes a little and begins to pour a barrage of excuses on you, believing he has hurt you. For a moment you stand staring at him: his fluffy, at least to the eye but you are sure they would be to the touch as well, brown hair is messily arranged; his brown eyes sparkle under the light of the arena, while his nose is slightly flushed with cold. He is the most beautiful human being you have ever seen.

"Hey it's okay, don't worry. I had to watch where I was going, too." You try to stop him from kneeling down in front of you to apologize. He glares at you as he asks what you were doing there at that moment.

"I don't recall seeing anyone booked now to use the track." He says, looking thoughtful as he tries to remember the sheet hanging at the entrance.

"No indeed, but I have an important competition on Sunday and I can't come to practice this evening because I'm celebrating my birthday with some friends, so I preferred to practice now." You confess, smiling, seeing his puppyish look change to a face of full astonishment and glee as without a second thought he throws his arms around your body and hugs you tightly, sending you spinning a lap or two in the air. You can't help but blush at that gesture, but at the same time you enjoy the feeling of his warm body next to yours. You smell his scent, mint and hairspray, and inside you know that somehow heaven smells the same way.

When he puts you down you feel your cheeks go hot, and quickly you try to turn away, commenting on how you don't want him to see your new wrinkles. He laughs at your joke and takes your face in his hands, and immediately you feel your heart begin to lose its rhythm, going lurching against your rib cage.

"No bullshit, you look beautiful, as always." He comments, looking at you with those bright eyes of his, as you see his gaze fall on your lips for a second, knowing that you did the same.

You, blushing even more, and somehow trying to bring the topic to something other than you, when he really wants to talk about you.

Then out of nowhere he looks at you, and with his usual sly smile, capable of making any girl fall at his feet, he asks you something that leaves you deeply shocked.

"After practice, do you have to see your friends right away?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"I have a couple of hours before I see them." You say, not totally understanding why he asked that question.

"Would you like to take a quick ride with me?" He asks blushing as he continues to blurt out something else. "You know I'd like to spend some time with you, and also celebrate your birthday." You can't help but look at him shocked, not understanding if what is happening is a dream and is all real.

You don't find the words, and simply nod. Under your breath you then blurt out something about going to change so you can start training as soon as possible and so finish earlier, and he in turn nods saying he will wait for you there. You don't even feel like walking as you make your way to the locker room, so surreal did the situation appear to you.

You feel you're skating ten feet above the sky as you think about all the things the two of you are going to do together, and you realize that maybe it wouldn't hurt to bring him to dinner with your friends, too, if he obviously has the desire and the time, already knowing that they're going to make fun of you for life, learning that right now you have the look of a 12-year-old girl on her first crush after he accidentally looked at her in science class. Okay, maybe you're slightly lost. Maybe even more than slightly, but after all, who are we to judge.

At that moment you still don't know that you will spend all your training joking and playing with him, making him do the simplest figures possible, and yet you will see him fail miserably and fall every time. Once he will fall so hard that he will lie completely on the ground, dragging you with him since he was holding your hand, and you will end up looking at each other's lips for a good five minutes before you realize that you will be on top of each other, close enough to feel each other's pulse.

This won't be the first moment, though, where you'll end up kissing the handsome player, since even later while you're outside the gym to make your rounds he'll wipe your face after some ice cream gets on your nose, and in a second you'll feel like you're the only people in the world, and you'll be one second away from kissing each other passionately again in the middle of the street, just like those old Hollywood movies where people still kissed in the rain, giving hope to little girls who would experience a love like theirs; but this time you will be interrupted by your friend calling you on the phone because you are late for dinner.

You won't even realize the wish you've granted when you blow out the candles that night, until you see Steve laughing with one of your friends, who once your love turns around gives you the thumbs up and says with a lip, "Nice shot girl! And she's got a nice ass, too!", only at that instant will you realize that you wished he would kiss you, that Steve would place those soft, fleshy lips of his on yours.

And you don't even know that that wish will come true soon, that same Sunday, when you come down from the podium after winning the race, you will run up to him, to Steve, who had insisted so much on coming to watch the competition because he wanted to support you, going straight into his arms, and in the heat of the moment you will place your lips on his. For a second you'll pull away scared that you've made a misstep, but he won't even give you time to formulate an apology, that he'll rest his lips on yours again, and again it will seem to you that there are only the two of you in the world, no other souls but yours intertwining in that moment in the confusion of the crowd, amid shouts and cackles, while all you can feel is his warm body next to yours, and pure happiness invading you.

But that's future, and who am I to spoil the best story you'll ever see (and experience) ;).

TAGLIST

@esposadomd @yourpurrrrrfect @eichenhouseproperty @the-ruler-of-death @sev0-0 @digitalhearts @kayden666 @backups-backups @sheyami @daeneeryss @starsval @rorysreallyrandom @superbookwormy64 @mortica-raven13 @watersquirtpewpewboomm @vixparker @imnotcryingurcrying @e_dollly

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #50: “Man Milk” | May 3, 2010 - 12:30AM | S05E10

Tim & Eric wish you happy holidays in this special half-hour series finale (unless you count specials) of Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job. In this episode, we get a little bit of everything. But is any of it classic or good?

Yes, one is, it’s the sketch where Paul Rudd plays a businessman who who sits down at a computer to view virtual dancers, all of whom resemble himself. They have names like Celery Man (a skinny tie, shiny-suit wearing slickster), Oyster (a rough-around-the-edges-but-slightly-contrived punk), and Tayne (a hedonistic hat-wearer with a vaguely mambo flavor). He is turned on by these sexy dancers to the point where he ignores an emergency phone call from his wife. He asks the program for a print out of Oyster smiling, and, most controversially, to generate a nude Tayne. The computer warns him that it’s not suitable for work, but he presses ahead.

To my knowledge, this is the only thing Paul Rudd ever appeared in that was Tim & Eric related (Tim does show up in one of the Ant Man movies, but that’s On Cinema Tim, so I won’t count it). This one’s really great, and pretty irresistible. Silly dances with silly names are pretty standard fare in the Tim & Eric universe, but this is basically a one-man show with Rudd being hella charming and legitimately very funny. This one has absolutely earned its reputation as a viral hit, which is why I’m naming it the Talk Soup Clip of the Week. 

There’s the Italian Massage sketch, which is fairly funny but nothing too deep. Tim & Eric do dumb accents and pour pizza toppings on a fat guy and rub it around. It’s brief, and features a cameo from Fred Armisen, but I like it anyway. This one is reprised in one of the weaker “Great Job” interludes, where we see a man in the restaurant react to multiple hairy bites of his nasty pizza slice. I’m not even sure why they bothered shooting that.

Another sketch features Tim & Eric pitching a partnership with Ben Stiller and their freak slave Ben Hur. They show him a jingle proposing that Ben change his name to Ben StillHur. Stiller is baffled, because there’s no actual project attached. Ben Hur just sits there and winks at Stiller in a flirty manner. Stiller does his Hollywood prick shtick that we should all be tired of by now, but it’s not too bad all things considered. Later, Stiller chases down Ben Hur in the parking lot to become partners, but cut Tim & Eric out of the action, and the entire time you can see a disgusting redspot on the back of Ben Hur’s head, which Stiller gets perilously close to when he starts stroking Hur’s bald head during a spirited hug. 

This one hearkens back to their Rolo jingle from, I think, season one, and the Tom Skerrit jingle from not season one. Tim & Eric’s old website had a whole section with bogus would-be jingles for various companies, and those sketches (and this one, too) are a continuation of that. This isn’t that great, but I guess it’s exciting to see another movie star being bad on TV.

The Cinco Privacy Helmet brings Tennessee Winston Luke into the Tim & Eric fold. This product is a helmet that plays a loud beeping noise and sprays vision-obscuring fog in front of your eyes while your head is completely encased in an unwieldy spherical helmet. This is so you can hang out next to people having sex. The commercial specifically advertises its intended use for guys sharing dorm rooms (“Cinco helps you bang girls in your dorm”).

Despite that last bit coming off sorta college-humor-esque, this is maybe another highlight for the episode. It does return to the well of having weird old guys act like college dudes like in the Cinco Sleep Watching Chair (Doug Prish-Preed saying "they gotta be hot" is funnier than anything in this). Those two sketches might have benefited from airing in separate seasons. Still, I like this one quite a bit. The more traditionally-college-looking guy is truly a terrible actor. Also the girl in the sketch is actually pretty hot, tell her I said wazup.

Richard Dunn gets one final starring role in Bald Face Predictions, where Dunn shaves a child’s head in order to show them how they’re going to go bald as they succumb to old age. I am a sucker for comedy where grown men disappoint children, and I think this one plays to Dunn’s strengths. Him gleefully growling about the kid becoming a weird-looking old man some day is pretty fun, and him offering to see him every week so he can “bald (him) out” is also good. He kisses the boy’s head and throws his head back and utters the line “hairy LIPS!” which I’m not sure is actually funny, but that line comes into my brain every time I kiss a beloved pet on the head.

Short/bad-sketch speedrun: Quallstions has James Quall answering sincere questions. It’s not funny, but it seems like it’s meant to be not-funny, but it’s still not funny. One last “Where’s my Chippy”, which was nice to see. I like when Eric crosses out the chipmunk on screen. A Brule sketch where he briefly discusses the difficulties of e-mail. Finally: a medical-themed sketch about what to do if you suspect that you have pools of blood in your stomach. That one’s total nonsense and it doesn’t pay off, and it rehashes the “be provocative, be organized” chant from Crows. 

The wraparound for this one is fairly mixed; not exactly a home run but not terrible. Both Tim & Eric develop long swollen nipples and start lactating. Their milk is indisputably delicious, so they decide to bottle it up and give it as a “gift for free”. Luck would have it, Eric’s little nephew Koy is in town, hiding behind their Christmas tree, and they have him hand-deliver their Man Milk to various Tim & Eric cast members. Eventually, they realize that all the milk they sent out was unpasteurized, and it proves to be fatal for all involved (except Tim & Eric themselves). Merry Christmas. 

This one has an air of effort to it; it’s shot particularly well, almost seeming like a dry-run for their upcoming feature Billion Dollar Movie. The things that fall flat are some of the horse-around aspects, as well as the unfunny, musical number. It feels like padding. Also, the use of the word “tit” just sounds wrong for some reason coming out of their mouths. You expect “bubs,” “bub-bubs,” “blobs”, or maybe even “swollen hammers” to come out of their mouths before the unrefined “tit.” But in the spirit of Christmas, I will forgive them. The montage of their misfit character actors all succumbing to their lethal juices is pretty satisfying, even though it’s a little sad to see Dunn die on screen in retrospect. Guy died for real a little over a month later. RIP pep-pep.

That’s roughly the end of Awesome Show. Scrappy and imperfect, and sometimes fairly lazy, but when it was funny it tickled me like nothing else. I always found the show charming enough to watch even when it was at its worst. Not sure if I can do my customary “top ten” until sometime later. I just don’t have it in me right now. Maybe for…Chrimbus? Oh! Maybe I’ll wait for the 10th anniversary special! 

Okay you know what actually I just did one just now without really putting a ton of thought into it. If I were to mathematically go through every episode and rank each sketch and weigh each episode in some highly scientific way, it’d probably shake out differently. I just went by what grabbed me after going through the episode guide real quick. It's in airing order, not preference.

S01E01 Dads

S01E08 Anniversary

S01E09 Hamburger

S02E05 Forest

S02E10 Embarrassed

S03E02 Chan

S03E06 Jim & Derrick

S04E03 Universe

S04E09 Brothers Cinco

S05E09 Greene Machine

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

This is gonna be a long one yall, so feel free to skip and just send asks about my progress if you don't wanna read through it. Otherwise...

So, I didn’t really have much of an update for you all in February. Reason: it is my birthday month, and I was being a lazy little hedonist, teehee 🤎

In hindsight, February/March has also been one of the most rigorous months for my workplace as well. We have about 33 contracts that we have to get out to the organizations that we fund and unfortunately our legal department, our comptroller's office, and our commissioner has been H-Town stomping on our balls for the past 3 months.

Needless to say, ya girl is tired lol.

I am, of course, pushing through it because I promised this update a LONG time ago, and whenever I don't deliver I feel as if I age 20 years. I know technically I'm running myself ragged again but I can't bring myself to worry about it now. Especially, when I'm the reason why I'm working like a Yorkshire pig.

Clerical Update

Mostly just playing around in Twine, and answering asks. I wanted to do something for February cause it is the month of love, but I think I ended up getting overwhelmed with real life and other shit so that went to the gutter.

I think I'm gonna hire someone to make a special UI for me... I'm tired of fighting with twine, and I really just want to focus on writing, so if anyone has like recommendations for twine/tweego wizards or thinks that they can take a crack at it, let ya girl know.

I am paying.

Progress Update

So... Not a lot of progress was made in February month lol but again. The laz was real~

March was MUCH more progressive, (probably cause I ended up stressing myself out about getting the game out by Summer (June or July ???) Tentative of course 🥴🥴🥴)

Overall, i am at 80k+ words!

Progress for Routes

Search and Destroy: <1%

Interlude (TBA): 5%

To be well: Completed

Yes, you read that right... I have officially finished writing to be well and have transitioned into draft editing for that route🎉🎉

Writing the final part of that route has inflicted psychological and visceral damage to my soul 💀 I thought I would be ok honestly like I just knew I was gonna be able to keep chugging along, but it hurt a little more than I imagined.

I'm ok tho, and I promise y'all will be ok too! I think? So don't worry too much!

Now I plan on pushing this draft through editing at least 3 times. The first time will be solely for missing scenes, evaluation of scenes, and then re-working them. The second time will be more focused on the characters and how they feel in the game. I'm aiming to flesh them out, and add breath to their actions and words. So fingers crossed I'm successful 🤞🏿🤞🏿

The third and final draft will be solely grammatical. If I catch anything funky in there, I'll patch it up but the goal is that for the third draft the number of mistakes are gonna be few. Heh, like that will actually happen.

After this is done, I'll go ahead and plug it into twine, test out the codes, and then send it to beta testers.

I also want to talk about beta testing for a minute too, cause we are getting into that hour.

its gonna be SUPER important that I get a good portion of beta testers due to the variability of this update. (If y'all think this current update is bad just wait 🥴🥴) Like, I'm only one person, and unfortunately for me, there are only so many errors I can catch.

I'll be releasing a survey again for people to fill out if they are interested. It'll be open for a month, and then decisions made in the following two weeks.

Next Months and Remaining Month Plans

Edit, edit, edit!!

Finish the touches on the Interlude.

Technically the piece of that is going in the update is gonna be significantly smaller than what I intended. Which is ok, cause ya girl was gonna lose her mind 🥴🥴

Start Search and Destroy

I think that's it? Again if you have questions, please let me know! Love y'all 🤎🤎

[claudiajcregg]

S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!

Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)

I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)

The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)

Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)

This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.

For more irrelevant details on the “process”…

As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.

It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.

(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)

But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)

But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.

[fantastickkay]

Album Review of the Week: Christina Aguilera - Liberation (2018)

Starting in 2015, Christina began teasing a new album release. Telling interviewers that she was writing, or in the studio, and that it is coming soon! After a couple of years of saying this, it was getting maddening! There were a few sporadic single releases now and then, but nothing solid to kick off a new Xtina era. Finally, 6 years after the release of Lotus, we get Accelerate in May 2018 - a LEAD SINGLE!

For the next month, we got a healthy dose of promotion (which is rare these days). 3 more singles, a TV performance, a couple of Instagram lives and finally on June 15 2018 (my birthday weekend) Liberation is released! In hindsight, I do believe all of the hype made me enjoy this album more than I would have otherwise. It has a lot of trendy hip hop influences which are not really my style, but of course Christina puts her own spin on it and you cannot discount that voice! I listened to this album a ton when it first came out, although the cracks in its foundation soon became apparent.

We get two different "intro" tracks, along with a song introducing the project (as she likes to do). Liberation + Searching For Maria should set the tone for the project, but they really don't go with the rest of the project all that well, very different sound. Maria introduces the concept that she is searching within herself to set herself free (Maria is her middle name). This song contains a Michael Jackson sample, although I cannot figure out which song it is from as I am not too familiar with Jackson's early work. Being track 3 and an extension of the intro, the song drags on a little bit however it is fun, sounds good, has a hard hitting beat.

Sick of Sittin' has a really cool "live performance" vibe and a really funky bassline! Originally, this was one of my favorite songs but as the listens add up I find that I don't really understand the concept and I don't really like how her voice is in a higher register yet still low which almost sounds like a melodic shriek. The lyric "Be thankful I gave you this, cuz I don't need it" okay then don't put anything out - I could be completely missing the point but I just get the feeling that it is kind of directed to the fans, or the media in general. There are more lyrics like that, but that stands out the most to me and takes away from enjoying the song.

Fall In Line begins with an interlude - Dreamers - which is spoken word by a group of girls of different ages declaring their dreams for the future. It is quite cheesy, but I do love the little girl at the end that says "I want to be president" - very cute. Fall In Line was the second single, and the TV performance, featuring Demi Lovato. As expected, the two vocal powerhouses are not holding back and we get some crazy notes and runs! The lyrics are poignant and I like the low voice in the background, it really adds to the dark mood.

Right Moves is one of the better tracks on this album! First of all, it is always nice to have a track or two with Christina's relaxed vocal. The laid back mood of the whole thing is really nice as well, especially following a couple of loud/heavy tracks.

Overall, Like I Do is my favorite song - which is crazy to say because it is basically entirely hip hop which is not typically my style. In fact, featured rapper GoldLink is the only voice we hear for the first minute! But when Christina comes in, she is HERE. The beat is great, the lyrics are engaging. Some of the lyrics remind me of Cher's Disaster Cake, initiating the new generation of pop girlies. In case you need a little reminder / I've been doing this way before you / Boy you already know my story / You were raised in all my glory ... Where you want to be, I've been before

I am not much of a fan of Deserve. I certainly don't want to discount her truth or the truth of others that may be listening, but I am not a fan of this concept of "doing mean things to test that you really love me, because I don't think I deserve you". Plus, I am not a fan of the vocals on this one, at least in the chorus. They are really high but not really done well in my opinion. They are way up on a shelf and not about to come down. I do like the vocals during the pre-chorus though. There is a tinge of vulnerability at the end of each line - I'm sorry, let's fix this

The vocals on Twice, on the other hand are fantastic. The layered harmonizing, the low notes. This one drags on a little, too, but at least it sounds great!

I Don't Need It Anymore is a short interlude that I do not need anymore. It is totally unnecessary, the vocal layering is nice but we just got that in the last track. And we have that almost shrieking vocal again. Anyway, it leads into Accelerate which was the lead single. This song was very polarizing, it took me a long time to really appreciate it. While I don't love the choppy vocals, the energy is good enough that it can be overlooked! Very confidence inducing.

Pipe is another standout track, I really like the chill hip hop beat and relaxed vocals.

Masochist and Unless It's With You are two ballads to close out this disjointed album. I am not a fan of either, again the lyrics are contradictory. I mean, she is talking about "I don't want to get married unless it's with you" which clearly is not true as she was engaged to her fiance for 4 years at this point and they still aren't married another 6 years later! I hate to gripe about the personal life of someone I do not know but when lyrics are clearly contradictory I just get a little befuddled. If I am missing a point with any of these takes, feel free to let me know!

While there are some true gems, this album is all over the place in terms of sound which makes for a confusing and somewhat labored listen. Pretty quickly, I learned to just put the songs I like into playlists and call it good. Obviously, Christina Aguilera will never lose her passion for singing, but the artistic direction and conviction is lacking with this project.

Standout tracks: Right Moves, Like I Do, Accelerate, Pipe

[danbisroom]

Ep. 5 - Can I Hold On For Another Night?

Hello my fellow souls,

Welcome back to Danbi’s Room, your weekly dose of safe space. Grab a cup of something warm and get yourself cosy.

These days I’m very busy with upcoming exams, so I decided to share with you an old piece of mine, revisited for the day. I hope you like it.

This season, the birth of the new light of the year, should be a sweet interlude of nurturing the darkness we’re letting go of in order to fully welcome the waxing Sun. The chaos of the world has readjusted itself to give space the the rebirth of light. Despite this times of awakening, we are witnessing so much pain, suffering, blind violence. More than ever we must stick together, be loving, compassionate and aware of our community, of our calling to be active members of our pack.

As we said in previous episodes, be careful: not passive brainless pawns in a herd, but unique and necessary participants of this world, shining manifestations of Nature.

We need to feel the community, to feel we are all part of this. We are a grain of sand in this limitless universe, but we wouldn’t be the same if even just one of our microscopic atoms wasn’t there.

This omnipresent duality is what we forgot and what we need to learn again as it is the essence of the world, flowing in it, flowing in the sacred river of our energy is what lets us live. Only a few of us are actually living, our claws are clenched on something that’s actually as futile and vanishing as the quick smoke of a candle that’s just been blown out.

Letting go, surrendering is way more difficult than slaughtering our hands to tighten around illusion. It requires every type of strength you can think of. Letting it flow and enjoying the storm rather than looking at a still muddy pond. What does the little pond in our core say? What makes its waters move and mix and be cleared? What makes it alive? What allows its liquid of life descend in the recesses of the Earth’s womb to join the holy waters that gloriously climb back to the golden sun? It is one of the beginning of humans as themselves.

The primordial silence, the primordial obscurity through which we dance towards life.

Fog doesn’t let us see, but we can do everything else until we’ve listened enough to be ready to make our eyes absorb light again.

But it in any case we must remember that, again, there is a moment to be alone and a moment to sustain ourselves on a trunk letting the stream carry us to the waterfall who is preceding calm and warm waters. A moment to stand and a moment to lean on.

There can be no discipline without acceptance, no calm without a deep feeling of whatever emotion comes to inhabit our body. No birth without death and no death without birth. Everything is a circle, a cycle: look at water, the essence of life, its lymph. Everything is different yet the same, microcosm and macrocosm, neuronal cells and the stars.

The stars. In the end we are all dead stars coming from the same little globe of matter, instinctively trying to find our old companions. We’ve always been here and always will, just in different forms.

I will conclude by thanking Chris again, the man that inspired this space and houses such a beautiful soul inside his body.

Secondly, starting from today, I will recommend a song: this time it’s Malibu Nights by Lany. It’s about new feelings and loneliness. Feel it, but always remember the pack.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and that you’ll have a beautiful week ahead of you!

I’ll see you in the next, big hug!

With love, yours,

Danbi

[amoveablejake]

My Five Key Songs of February 2023

Round ups a-plenty. 

It may be the end of February but I am already thinking a little about what the key songs for March will be. I’m looking slightly ahead because there are a few songs that have appeared at the tail end of this month that aren’t quite going to make the cut and I wonder if they will be able to stick around long enough to be on the next list. I have a feeling they will alongside some tracks that will arise from a trip that will be taking place soon but that is all to come. For now it is time to look at the final key songs of the winter as we move into spring which I’ve decided even if the weather doesn’t agree. So, lets take a look at what February 2023 had in store in my headphones.

First up, ‘California Stars’ by Wilco and Billy Bragg. 

There are certain tracks that I always expect to be on the shortlist for each month and artists that I would be very surprised if they didn’t make an appearance with at least one offering. Each month, Wilco are there and for February it is their song with Billy Bragg ‘California Stars’ that I have become particularly taken with. As I found this track from ‘Mermaid Avenue’ it did make me think of being in California but more than that it put me in mind of going on a journey and feeling the sun shining on you somewhere a bit different. It is definitely a more American song so it might not exactly fit where I am about to venture off to however, its the sort of song that will probably be playing regardless as its the sort of track that feels like a magnet for memories to be associated with it to then listen back to in years to come and bask in the glow of. 

Second up for February, ‘Movement 1′ by Floating Points. 

After last week’s album of the week piece and my glowing adoration for ‘Promises’ from which ‘Movement 1′ has been lifted from, it is perhaps a surprise that a song from Floating Points is not the key song for this month. First of all, it is not because it has faced some very tough competition but also because there is no rush for it to feature now in order to make its way to the end of year playlist. ‘Promises’ and its truly mesmerising and breathtaking songs I am sure will be playing throughout the year and the chance will arise again for them to take their place and even if that doesn’t happen this year, it might very well in the next. There is no rush. ‘Promises’ feels to me like it will be on my roster for a long, long time and as I listen to ‘Movement 1′ now I am reminded of that with every note and melody. Primarily because everytime I listen to this album whilst I am trying to do something it leads me away from that task and straight into its open musical arms where you simply exist in the rich soundscape it has created to draw on again and again. Perfection. 

The third song up to bat, ‘Truth Interlude’ by Mndsgn. 

When I first heard ‘Truth Interlude’ one afternoon in February, it was the exact song that I needed in that moment. A much needed breath of fresh air to help put a spring in your step. Coming in at one minute and seven seconds long, it is really only an interlude as its title would suggest and should be listened to in exactly that way. This is a song to turn to when you need that little moment to help you get out of your head and to lean back for a moment. I don’t listen to it a great deal but whenever I do need a song to quickly work its way into my system and to help me breathe, I know that I can rely on ‘Truth Interlude’ and infact Mndsgn’s ‘Rare Pleasures’ album itself is also a worthy addition into any library and one that will help to form a bridge out of the winter and into sunnier days. 

The penultimate song for this month, ‘Drive My Car (Misaki)’.

Where would I be without the ‘Drive My Car’ soundtrack. As will come as no surprise at all to regular readers, Eiko Ishibashi’s seminal musical work is appearing yet again this month and really, how could it not. I have at times this month been listening to the soundtrack on repeat throughout the day and into the evening as its eternal magic continues to have a hold on me that really, I am all the better for. This month’s standout song from the record ‘Drive My Car (Misaki)’ is one that I remember listening to for the first time and feeling it sweep me up into it and take a hold of me. Everytime I listen to this song I feel that same initial feeling of warmth and tranquility as listening to it feels almost like a homecoming. This track and the album as a whole have become over the past year so integral to my day to day and self that it now almost feels like a limb or at the very least an extension of my self that I am truly all the better for having. 

Then, without further ado, the key song for February 2023 is, ‘Long Long Time’ by Linda Ronstadt. 

When I was looking over my shortlist for the tracks that could potentially feature today, the moment I saw ‘Long Long Time’ I knew that it had to be the key song. Yes, it is featuring because of the beautiful episode of ‘The Last of Us’ that I have lifted it from. One of the most exquisite episodes of television that I have ever seen and if you haven’t seen it quite yet, oh boy, does that need to change. It is also featuring here because as I made my way to Brighton back at the beginning of the month and had a few train issues, I listened to Linda Ronstadt’s music to help me through the last part of that journey where it did feel a little bit like ‘The Last of Us’ actually. But really, ‘Long Long Time’ has to be the key song for February 2023 because Ronstadt’s voice here is indescribable. This feels like Ronstadt at her very best and one of the best country songs around or rather to me it is. Some of the notes that Ronstadt hits here are the sort of ones that could move you to tears instantly and when it accompanied that episode of Joel and Ellie’s journey, there was no hope of a dry eye left really was there. 

The key songs for February 2023, there we have it and as I say in my head it is now the end of winter as March will herald in the next season. How that will impact the song choices for next month and the music that I listen to, I really don’t know but what I do know is that if anything is going to make an impact it will be somewhere a little different that I will be soon. Stay tuned for more and a different setting for my ongoing detective series. 

-Jake, a man getting to the end of ‘College Park’ and going right back to the beginning, 26/02/2023

[monstersandmaw]

Male werewolf x female character (Gabe & Odessa) - Chapter Twenty Two (sfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

___

Well, folks, we finally did it! This is my longest-running story on here, and it’s finally come to an end. Kind of. This is the end of ‘Season One’ (for want of a better term), and I have a short interlude planned from Gabe’s POV, followed by a ‘Season Two’. I also asked you what other ‘non-humans’ you’d like to see for 2023, so I’m going to be working on some other stories too since my workshop is currently flooded and out of action for the forseeable future. Thanks for your input and ideas with that - I always welcome prompts and ideas, even if I don’t guarantee to write them!

Anyway, enough waffle. Here’s the wrap-up to G&O (if you have any ideas for actual titles for this story, please tell me - I did ask ages ago but my dumb brain cell forgot them!).

Content: After two blissful weeks, Odessa has to say farewell to Gabe and Pinewatch, and return to the city, but once she’s there, things turn out to be not quite so bleak... Wordcount: 4367

Catch up here:

Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw), Part Six (sfw) Part Seven (sfw), Part Eight (sfw), Part Nine (sfw), Part Ten (sfw), Part Eleven (nsfw), Part Twelve (sfw), Part Thirteen (sfw), Part Fourteen (nsfw), Part Fifteen (nsfw), Part Sixteen (nsfw), Part Seventeen (sfw), Part Eighteen (v. light nsfw), Part Nineteen (nsfw), Part Twenty (nsfw), Part Twenty-One (nsfw)

Odessa woke the next morning and for three full minutes, she didn’t think about having to leave.

The moment she did, she began to cry.

Silent tears slid from the corners of her eyes to melt into her hair as she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling while Gabe slept on silently beside her, curled on his side and facing her. His chest rose and fell with the regular, quiet ease of someone deeply and contentedly asleep, and she tried to focus on that instead, letting her mind drift along with each steady inhale and exhale. Memories of her fortnight in the forest scudded across her mind’s eye like little boats in a flotilla of happy snapshots: walks to the lake, shy flirting, drinks at the pub, new friends, discovering fairytale creatures were real, more mind-blowing and affectionate sex than she’d ever had in her life, pancakes, blackberry cupcakes, waterfalls and werebears, adorable wolf-dogs, Gabe’s hazel eyes and dimpled smile…

Somehow, her last day in Pinewatch had dawned, and the idea of leaving all that behind just seemed more painful and unfair than anything she’d ever experienced, even if it wouldn’t be for long. For a long time, she couldn’t move so much as a muscle as the sudden, sharp grief crushed her and buried her beneath its weight.

Beside her, Gabe inhaled deeply through his nose. “Hey,” he mumbled, coming awake sharply and reaching for her with a frown. He blinked back the bleary remnants of sleep from his eyes and brushed the tears from her face with his knuckles. He kissed her temple, shuffling closer to her and tucking the duvet up around her. “Come here.”

With Gabe wrapped around her body from behind, holding her tightly enough that she felt a little more grounded, she began to feel marginally better, and with a deep sigh, she tried to let it all go. “I know it’s only temporary,” she said, kissing his hand before he moved it to continue stroking her hair. It was too wildly curled and tangled for him to comb his fingers through it, but the way his palm skated over the contours of her skull calmed something deep within her.

“Still sucks though,” he said and she hummed. “Could I come and visit you there?” he asked after a pause.

She frowned. She hadn’t even considered that as an option. “In the city? I thought you hated it? And what about your family? And the dogs?”

She felt him smile and he kissed her again. “I hated it there because I thought I had no choice about my future. The dogs will be fine on their own in the enclosure for a few days. I’ll take them for a long run when I get back, and Tala or Carys can feed them for me once a day.”

“And… your family?” she asked when she realised that was the only thing he hadn’t answered.

Gabe gave a big sigh and Odessa rolled onto her back to look up at him properly. He had a pillow crease on his cheek that she wanted to kiss, but she just smiled privately and let him talk. “When a wolf enters the territory of another pack, unless they’re literally just passing through that day, it’s custom for them to announce themselves to the pack leader and state their intentions. If I’m staying longer than a few hours, I’ll need to go to them for permission to stay.”

Her heart rate picked up and she bit her lip. “Is that something you’d be… comfortable doing? You said your mother literally exiled you… They won’t… I don’t know, turn on you?”

He shook his head. “It’ll be… strained, for sure. I can write to my brother about it. We’re still vaguely in touch at Christmas and sometimes in between. He knows where I live and what I do for work and stuff. I could ask him if I could come and present myself to the pack in order to visit my — to visit you,” he said, his gaze drifting towards the ceiling.  

“Would he advocate for you then?”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, probably. I think he’d stand up for me. We used to be very close.”

Something sad stabbed just below her ribs at the way he said it. “Do you miss him?” she asked in a tentative whisper.

“Yeah,” he rasped, eyes closing for a second. “He’s two years younger than me, but we were inseparable from the moment he was born. Until… til I left…” He paused and let his thumb play distractedly over her shoulder joint. “He has cerebral palsy but it’s never really hindered him doing whatever he wanted to. We did everything together: went climbing at the sports centre, running in the park, kayaking and camping in the school holidays… he played soccer after school and I’d go to watch…”

The image of him as ‘devoted older brother’ only made it more painful that they were now so distant, and she didn’t miss the way his breath caught and his throat tightened as he listed everything they’d once shared. The loss of contact with Raph — the gulf which Gabe’s actions had opened up between them — was clearly as raw to him then as on the day he’d caught that bus out of the city.

Instead of offering him some empty platitude about how sorry she was that it had turned out that way, she squeezed his middle with all her strength, and he grinned through a wheeze and looked down at her with a grateful flash of his golden eyes. She was learning to speak werewolf pretty well, she thought.

“How did the pack react to him becoming your mother’s Second instead of you?”

He shrugged, jostling her slightly. “From the impression he’s given me from his emails, they just accepted it. Mother’s word is law, after all,” he added dryly. “Raph’s thriving on it, the pack is as strong as it’s ever been, and mother got a willing Second, so it all worked out in the end.”

“So what happens if… if you ask to stay and she says no?”

A beat of silence stretched until he exhaled heavily. “Then I’ll have to leave. By werewolf law, they could kill me if I stay without their permission, but I highly doubt it’ll come to that.”

She gasped, going cold all over. “They’re your family, Gabe!”

Again, he shrugged and reached over to lay his palm on her hip. The action calmed her a little, but her heartbeat still galloped wildly. “Pack law is pack law,” he said. “It’s archaic, and while they’re probably traditional enough to give the English aristocracy a run for its money, I don’t think they’d escalate things that far. Killing a family member as a punishment is a huge taboo; no one’s done it for centuries. They’d probably just run me out of town.”

“Would I have to meet them?” she asked with no small amount of trepidation. Honestly, his mother sounded terrifying, but Raph didn’t seem so bad if he was anything like Gabe.

Gabe’s eyes flashed and a short, instinctive growl escaped his throat. “No. I don’t want any of them anywhere near you,” he finally managed to spit out around the sound that took a while to stop and die away.

She half-suspected that the approaching full moon stoked a little of the protective fury in his tone, though probably not by much.

“You’re human, and I don’t want you mixed up in werewolf politics. It’s a minefield, and they already think the worst of me for turning my back on my own family. Settling down with a human is… well, to them it’d be another insult, put it that way.”

“Oh.”

For a while, she just lay there in his arms until he kissed her. “Hey,” he murmured. “Don’t stress it.”

“I don’t want to put you in danger, or more at odds with your family,” she said. “It’s, what, a five hour drive from there to here on a good day? I can do that to come and see you. You don’t need to risk all of that for me.”

Another growl rumbled in his chest like a fading thunderstorm. “I don’t want it to be all on you,” he said. “Until we figure something out, I want you to know I’m there for you. That I’m… invested in this. In us.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “I know that.” Vague, half-formed plans for the future resurfaced, and she began to mull them over again as they lay there in affectionate silence.

“Hey,” he said, and she twitched back to the present moment. “You want to come over to mine for pancakes before you go?”

She nodded. “Yeah, and say goodbye to the dogs, if that’s ok?”

“Don’t blame me if they corner you and refuse to let you out. They’re very intuitive…”

“I won’t be complaining if they do,” she mumbled and hugged him for a while longer.

Their sombre mood didn’t match the morning’s weather at all. Sunlight finally decided to come pouring in through the curtains following days of grey skies and rain, and after lying there anxiously for another half an hour, Odessa huffed a sigh and got out of bed.

The moment she was upright, she felt every ache and stretch from the night before in every corner of her body, and she smiled. She could still feel the way his knot had filled her utterly too, and the way he had come — eyes rolling back, his body submitting completely with a great, heaving shudder as he gave himself to her — was something that would stay with her forever. She’d have to see if he was willing to have shifted sex with her again in the future too, she mused with a bashful smile, and caught herself blushing in the bathroom mirror.  

In the privacy of the bathroom, she popped a couple of ibuprofen to help her aches subside, and showered briefly. Gabe seemed in no hurry to get up, and he watched her dress from the warmth of the duvet before finally crawling out of bed and heading for the shower himself. He emerged ten minutes or so later to find her making a cup of tea in the kitchen of the cosy little holiday cabin.

“At least you’ll have good weather for driving,” he said as he came up behind her and put his arms around her middle. The gentle pressure eased the soft ache and she hummed in pleasure.

“I think I’ll pack up my stuff here and drive over to yours,” she said, dunking the teabag a few more times to get it to the right colour. “Then I’ll just go home from there.”

He nodded and said, “I’ll let you finish up in peace then. Just come over whenever you’re done.”

Odessa deliberately didn’t watch him walk out the door, and while she did feel the urge to cry when she heard his truck tyres roll out, she pulled herself together long enough to get her belongings in order. Packing up after a holiday was never going to be a long job, and she carelessly stuffed all her clothes into her rucksack and her hold-all, slung her hiking boots into the back of her little VW, and stumped back to the cabin to make a final check.

It still looked like a fairytale.

The newly planted flowers outside had had two weeks to settle in, and they sat in the beds at the base of the log walls waving merrily in the breezes that scudded around the clearing in the wake of the previous day’s rain. Little birds flitted and twittered in the branches around the cabin, and she could hear the stream trickling along the gully behind the house. Her breath billowed in the damp, cold air, and she shivered.

With the cabin left in order, and the bed linen already stripped and stuffed into the dedicated laundry bag in a corner of the bedroom by Gabe, Odessa locked up and drove the short journey up the road to Gabe’s house.

She found him sitting outside on the back step with Axel’s head in his lap. Mia yowled at her the moment she shut the car door and walked towards the gate in the enclosure fence, and Gabe looked up and smiled without disturbing Axel.

Thunder paced slowly towards her as she slid the latch back on the gate. “Alright to come in?” she asked and Gabe nodded.

She closed it behind her and turned to find Thunder standing immediately behind her. He looked like an emperor awaiting an audience, and she held her hand out shyly to him. He sniffed her knuckles and then licked her skin gently, exhaling with an audible rumble. “I’m gonna miss you too,” she said and glanced self-consciously over at Gabe.

He smiled and said, “He can smell that we’re both kind of stressed,” he said. “He doesn’t like it. Neither does Ax,” he added, stroking the white fluff between Axel’s tense ears.

“I’m sorry buddy,” she said, gently chucking Thunder under the chin while Mia finally gave in and harrumphed over to her. She jabbed Odessa in the thigh with her pointy husky nose, and yowled like a broken car alarm. “I’ll be back to steal all of Gabe’s attention before you know it,” she laughed. “I promise you’ll barely have time to relax before I’m back and you have to chase me off him again.”

Mia growled but it was all play, and Odessa sighed as she crossed to sit with Gabe and Axel for a minute or two before her butt got too cold on the damp step and she stood up again.

Gabe dusted her backside off affectionately and she chuckled. Then he stood up too with a little grunt and said, “Come on. Let’s make some pancakes. Tea or coffee?”

“Coffee, please.”

Having forced herself to be at peace with the knowledge she was leaving, she leaned her hips against the kitchen counter while Gabe cooked, and they ate together at the dining table with their feet intertwined underneath.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” Odessa asked apropos nothing.

Gabe gently speared a strawberry with his fork and pushed it through a small tidal wave of maple syrup. “Nothing adventurous. I usually spend Christmas Day on duty at the centre, just in case,” he said. “A few people like to go camping or hiking in the snow, and sometimes they get into trouble. If I’m not working, Carys has been known to ask me over to her place,” he added with a smile. “In that case, I’ll give the dogs a frozen hunk of venison to keep them busy and I’ll have lunch with her.”

“Is she with anyone?”

He shook his head. “No. Sometimes we go for a hike if the weather is nice, but mostly we just share a meal and swap a few presents. It’s all very low-key. What about you?” he asked. “What were you planning to do this year?”

She shrugged. “Hadn’t got that far ahead, to be perfectly honest. In the past Jake and I each went back to our parents’, but if you’re around, maybe I could come up here and spend it with you and the dogs instead?”

“Your family won’t mind not seeing you?”

“No, I don’t think so. We’re fairly close, but not so close that they’ll kick up a fuss if I don’t go this year.”

He tilted his head. “Would you rather go and see them though?”

After giving it a second’s thought, she shook her head. “No. I want to spend it with just you, if that’s ok?”

Gabe’s smile lit her up inside. “Alright. We’ll do something here. But can I still come and see you before then?” he asked, hope ringing quietly in his voice.

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t think I can get through the whole of November and December without seeing you at all…”

With that decided, they moved on to other things, but after a while it became obvious that they were just prolonging the inevitable. She ducked outside to say goodbye to the dogs, and discovered Axel standing with his front paws already up on the back step and his big, blue eyes round with worry.

“Hey, buddy,” she smiled, dropping gently down into a crouch and letting him put his fluffy little face in her hands. “I’ll see you soon.”

He whined and licked her tears and wagged his tail, and after a moment or two she felt a second nose nudge up against her elbow, demanding to be let into the cuddles, and was surprised to find Mia’s icy eyes glaring at her. The half-husky snorted, sat down heavily, then threw back her head and howled like a fire alarm directly in her ear.

Odessa lurched back to spare her left ear drum, Axel complained, and Thunder trotted over to tell everyone off for behaving like hooligans. He snarled at Mia and bowled her over with his massive size, and the two began to play-fight in the dirt while Odessa and Axel just looked at them with a mix of bafflement and amusement.

Gabe’s hands squeezed her shoulders a minute or two later and he leaned down over her. Axel looked at him and gave a soft ‘woo’ as if to say ‘I didn’t start it’, and Gabe snorted, ruffling Axel’s soft fur. “You all set?” he asked Odessa, and her heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah,” she sighed, standing and dusting off her jeans.

After a final bathroom stop, during which she adjusted her hair and wiped beneath her eyes where her eyeliner had smudged a little, she stepped out into his living room and gave a tense exhale.

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered when Gabe joined her from the kitchen.

“I don’t want you to go,” he smiled. “But it’s not for long. I’ll be here.”

“I know. And I’ll come back,” she said, because it suddenly seemed very important to make him that promise.

Gabe inhaled, held the breath, and as he let it go, he stepped in close and hugged her. He held her until she felt the stress melt away a little, and she swallowed and stepped back. “If I don’t go now, I never will.”

“Mmm, don’t tempt me,” he whispered with a smile even as he let go of her and cuffed vaguely at his nose with the back of his wrist. His eyes were glassy and his expression open and vulnerable. “Safe drive.”

“I’ll call you when I get there,” she said.

She didn’t remember much of walking out of Gabe’s house for the last time that holiday, and for the first few miles of driving away from Pinewatch, all she could see was Gabe standing on his wooden veranda, his right arm raised in farewell, his left hand dug deep into his pocket, and the muted sound of howling coming from the wolf-dogs at the back of the house. She felt like her heart made the same desperate sound for miles, and she wondered if they’d kept it up as long as her chest had kept hurting.

The drive back was uneventful, and with a sugary breakfast and too much coffee in her veins, she made it easily without even having to stop to rest.

The volume of traffic slowly built as she hit the suburbs, and as she wove through the mounting afternoon traffic, she felt hemmed in and stressed in a way she never had before. The city had always felt lively to her — buzzing with vibrant activity and people — but now it just felt over-crowded and hectic. She drew up in the street outside her apartment block and as she cut the engine, the dull hum and roar of the city beyond immediately pressed in on her.

With a sigh, she got out, dragged and struggled her bags up the stairs and opened her apartment.

Everything was exactly as she’d left it, but her light, airy flat no longer felt all that comforting. It felt empty. She ached for the barely-there tread of Gabe’s feet as he moved over the hardwood floor in his adorable woolly socks, or the sounds of wolf-dogs scrapping and playing outside; for the hiss of wind through pine needles and the ceaseless trill of birdsong in the trees. All she had now were sirens and car horns and engines.

She texted Emma and Dandy first to let them know she was back, and as she hit ‘send’ on the latter of those, a message from Gabe popped up.

>>Missing you. Hope your drive back was ok. G xxx<<

Swallowing thickly, she smiled and texted back.

A week later, Carys sent her a text asking for her email address, and the next day Odessa opened up her inbox to find a message with the subject ‘—Forwarded message— RE: Legal Policy Officer/Legal Adviser - Part-Time Post @ Three Peaks National Park Service’, and her heart leapt. She had never opened an email quicker in her life, and she hardly took in anything the first time she read it. Forcing herself to calm down, she sank down into her office chair in the bright, sunny morning sunshine and bit her lip.

Dear Odessa,

Hope you’re well and that it’s not too much of a culture shock being away from the woods. This came through to me a few days ago and I thought I would forward it to you. I haven’t mentioned it to Gabe, as I thought you’d want to have a look at it first.

All the best,

Carys

P.S. It’s obvious to all of us just how much Gabe misses you, but he’s putting on a brave show for the rest of us. For what it’s worth, I thought you make a great fit and the two of you are clearly made for each other. I hope you find something that works out for you, even if it’s not this. X

— Forwarded message —

The Three Peaks National Park Service is currently recruiting for a Legal Policy Officer/Legal Adviser to form part of their legal team, focusing on how strategic, legally sound and ecologically significant measures for nature can be delivered. This ambitious and challenging work provides an opportunity to be at the forefront of environmental conservation and recovery. The legal team is part of the… (read more)

Hardly daring to hope, Odessa clicked the job description and read it through three times. The pay was significantly less than she’d been on before, but it being part-time certainly had its appeal, and she had more than enough saved up for the time being anyway. Having no social life to speak of and a high paying job in the city had been good for at least something.

Odessa spent the rest of the day ignoring her mounting pile of household chores, and sent in her application the very next day. She did not tell Gabe, deciding to wait and see if she was asked to interview first. She didn’t want to jinx anything, and she didn’t want to get his hopes up. Or hers.

That afternoon, her phone buzzed with a message from Gabe, and she nearly dropped it with a laugh of surprise when she found a photo attached to the message which read: >>Gabe and the dogs move into the 21st century… (we have wifi and a smartphone now. Expect daily photo updates)<<

Attached was a selfie Gabe had taken crouching outside in the wolf-dog enclosure, with Axel’s muzzle tucked under his raised arm, Mia, clearly mid-lunge into the frame and little more than a blue-eyed blur, and Thunder staring over Gabe’s shoulder with a look of cautious disdain on his noble face.

Odessa cackled another laugh and sent a selfie back of her sitting on her cream coloured sofa, bathed in soft, city winter sunlight, beaming.

>>God, you’re gorgeous<< Gabe messaged back instantly. >>I was not prepared for that<<

<<Just wait til you experience the wonders of the video call, Gabe. It’s like a picture, but it moves and talks…>>

>>ha ha very funny<<

<<You love me>>

>>Yes I do.<<

[Incoming video call: Gabe Kirkbride]

She and Gabe called morning and night for another week after that, but she still didn’t tell him she’d applied for the job with the park service, even after the interview, which had turned out to be the most relaxed and almost enjoyable job interview she’d ever experienced. Her hopes were high, but until she had a confirmation email, she was determined to keep silent about it. She also begged Carys not to say anything, to which the older woman agreed without argument, on the rather preemptive condition that when Odessa surprised Gabe with the news of her inevitable success, Carys could be there to witness it in person.

One Saturday morning in early November, Gabe called her while she was still in bed, and she could tell the moment she answered it that something was different. “What?” she asked blearily, blinking and searching his hazel eyes for any kind of clue, all the while trying not to fumble and drop her phone onto her own face. He looked a little apprehensive and a fair bit excited. “What is it?”

After a tight, shy smile, Gabe said, “I’ve been emailing my brother.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “Raph said he’ll advocate for me. I’d… I’d like to come and see you… if that’s still alright?”

“Alright?” Her heart leapt wildly and she laughed, scrambling to sit upright and letting the covers fall down a little way. Gabe’s eyes dipped briefly down to take in the sight of her bare collarbones as her pyjama top slipped down and he smiled. “Of course it’s alright! Yes! When? I was going to suggest making a trip to see you soon, but that works too, if you’re sure about it?”

“I’m sure,” he said. “How does next weekend sound?”

___

And there is where we leave Season One! A HUGE thank you to everyone who’s got involved in this, be it with asks and comments or reblogs (special shout out to anyone who screeched and flailed at me in the tags, you know who you are and I see you and I think you’re wonderful!). I know 3rd person werewolf romances aren’t every monster-lover’s cup of tea, but to those of you who’ve fallen in love with these goofballs along the way, thanks for sticking with it to the end!

In the ‘interlude’, we will see Gabe’s visit from his POV, and we are going to meet the pack... Who are you most excited to meet? Oh, and Odessa’s gonna find out exactly what Gabe’s been studiously avoiding saying in exact terms...

As always, take good care of yourselves please, and I hope you have a lovely day/night wherever you are, and whenever you read this. Thank you, and Happy New Year!

Masterlist | Ko-fi (tip jar)

[gillianthecat]

my thoughts after watching The Eclipse episode 11. i don't want to put it in the main tag (at least not yet) because it's just confused ramblings, so it's below a cut so y'all can avoid spoilers.

hmm. I'm not sure what I thought of this episode. I mean, I had many thoughts, but they are contradictory and confused. There were many individual moments that I loved, particularly the ones between Akk and Ayan. After finishing the whole think I still think it felt rushed and crammed in. I think that I will have to watch the next, final episode before I'm really able to evaluate it, episode eleven really doesn't feel like it stands on it's own. Threads seem to be tied up, but not actually, other completely new threads are introduced (the creation of a BL drama).

Thua. I am most confused about my feelings about what happened with Thua this episode. I can't decide if his actions make sense to me and feel true to his character. Part of that is I'm not sure if a) continuing to act as the curse is at all a logical way to get the truth behind the curse revealed, and more importantly b) that I think that's something that Thua would have believed.

My initial reaction was that it felt totally out of character for Thua to do this, but now I think that maybe it fit. The whole time he's been show to be... not calculating exactly, but calm and observant and thoughtful. He's shy and quiet, so I think we in the fandom (and maybe his friends too?) have gotten this idea of him as a poor little meow meow, but looking back, that's not actually who he's been shown to be. I don't know, I really have to think on it more.

I do wish the show had spent more time dealing with the emotional repercussions of all these revelations instead of moving right on to making the movie. That's a big thing that felt rushed and deflated the energy for me. These five boys all discovered that someone they were close to was lying about something huge! That's going to shake their relationships in a way that won't get fixed by a quick conversation. Kan and Thua in particular - they went back to being at ease together way too quickly for me.

As for the making of a BL film - my initial reaction was oh no! not another self-referential BL show within a show. But I'm starting to like the idea because it's not just about making a BL, it's about making political stories. It was the line about BL being Thailand's soft power that got me to think maybe Golf et al. were going somewhere interesting with this, that's its not just about BLs themselves, but about the influence they hold and what can be done (what Golf et al. are doing) with that. Wat leading them to do intimacy exercises while the camera was rolling was a little odd, but he's an untrained teenaged filmmaker so the oddness kind of made sense.

And while I'm generally not a fan of characters re-enacting scenes from their lives, Akk and Ayan's conversation afterword was so cute that I can't object. Them! The way they look at each other! How much Akk loves being teased by Aye!

I haven't watched the "coming next week" part yet, so I don't know what's planned, but I hope the stuff with the Suppalo and the protesters haven't been dropped, that this was just an oddly paced interlude. Because it really feels incomplete and like it needs to be dealt with. And in such a political show I can't imagine that it won't somehow be dealt with. And I'm less hopeful that this will happen, but I would really like for their to be some emotional fall out to all the lies and betrayals that were revealed. I'm not saying the characters wouldn't be friends again, I think they would! But the shift back into normalcy feels unfounded.

Thoughts on Chadok and Dika. I think I liked it. I think it felt mostly right. It was just another thing that felt too rushed too be as effective as I wanted it to be. It was too much of an outline of a story rather than a story itself, and it needed more substance to carry the weight of Dika's suicide. I don't know what I wanted more of in particular, but I felt like I needed more of something. But now it makes sense why the notebook was so poorly hidden under his desk; Chadok didn't hide it there at all, Thua just slipped it in (and I still don't really understand what he thought that in particular would do? The only reason that makes sense is he was acting out of anger toward Aye, but if so that needed to be addressed in some way). And congratulations to the brilliant minds who saw the Dika-Chadok romance coming. (And the geniuses who predicted that Thua would be the one carrying on the curse.)

What else is on my mind? Kan publicly proclaiming Thua has his boyfriend. Again, I think I liked the scene for itself - Kan having come so far that he's ready to do this, the echo of him taking Thua's hand but this time holding on, their joy in being able to publicly claim each other. But again I was distracted by the fact that Kan and Thua never dealt with Thua being the curse and hiding it. It made it hard to feel the joy with them that I wanted too. And I'm not sure what I think about all the surrounding students seeming to be happy for them. On the one hand, that's so wonderful! On the other hand, Suppalo students have been explicitly shown being homophobic, so what's changed? I'm not saying that that change is unlikely, just that I want to see what happened to believe and understand it.

The Eclipse as a metaphor - the whole thing with the principal being beholden to the investors and the way money ultimately is the real power. I have thoughts, but I don't feel like writing them now. And honestly, there was a lot less of a focus on that this episode than I was expecting. Again, hopefully we get more of this in the final episode.

Akk and Aye moments I loved: all of them! everything with the pin, the way they looked at each other during the ceremony, all of Aye's support and the way he kept reinforcing that he loved Akk no matter what. This is a couple that I truly believe love each other, in a way that I don't always with onscreen couples. I have vague plans to write a post about that eventually. I just love them so much!

I still love this show! I'm confused about this episode, but i'm withholding judgment until the end so I can see how it fits into the series as a whole. And probably until after I re watch it. I focused mainly on the negatives here because that's what I needed to work through in my mind, the positives don't require thought.

Ok, that's all my thoughts for now. I probably repeat myself a lot and this may not make any sense, but I'm not going to even re-read it let alone edit it.

[dearmrsawyer]

i feel like i've finally organised myself a good tv schedule each week! 2020 ruined more than global health it also stripped me of all my favourite shows lol so this year i decided i need to find myself a new collecton of shows to keep me company. i need more in my life than streaming shows that drop like 6 episodes one day a year and only run for 2 or 3 seasons. the current tv landscape is my hell!!!!! i want to spend at least half the year with characters watching them go on both important and unimportant adventures, how else am i supposed to get to KNOW them! anyways i feel like i have succedded and am super happy with the shows i get to spend time with every week:

The Rookie: wanted to check it out because Nathan Fillion is always a good time and he's still a good time! It's fun, i like all the characters a lot, and it feels like a show that's still in its prime at season 5 so i'm hoping its around for a few more years :)

The Winchesters: good god its SOOOO good. I didn't know what to expect of it, i was pretty confident/excited since i knew Jensen was behind it, and he brought on one of Supernatural's best writers to showrun it, but you still just never truly know what to expect, but from episode 1 it was the highlight of my week i LOVE it omg. Jensen said it was picked up for 13 episodes and he's hoping they'll order a longer season 1, and so do i because i want to consume this show.

Walker: my weekly fix of Jared Padalecki plays a dad :') The thing i like about Walker is how relaxed i am watching it rofl, i'm not overly emotionally invested, i just get to tune in, see what the family's up to, watch Jared parent some kids, and relax at the end of the week. Desperately needed a show like that!

Walker Independence: the new spin off set in the old West which i wasn't sure what to make of but is SO good! I'm enjoying it so much, it took me by surprise lol. also it's v fun to have a period piece to watch, there's still a gap that Reign left behind but even though this is as different a period as you can get, it's kind of doing it for me!

Big Sky: Had literally never heard of this until it was announced Jensen would be on it, i decided not to catch up on the earlier seasons but just jump in with him, and it seems like the kind of show you can do that with. Tbh i wouldn't keep watching it if Jensen wasn't on it, it's not super engaging, but i have a very good time whenever he's on screen so this is a fun little interlude to add to my roster for the next month or two!

shows like the flash (about to finish 😭), a million little things (a new venture i found as they announced the next will be their last season 😭😭) and superman & lois (also a recent venture that is NOT ending and i'm going to stick with!) aren't coming back til the new year. my life feels so much more like it's on track when i have a clear schedule of tv during the week, i feel more like myself than i have for a year 😂

[cafeinthemoon]

Don't Leave Home - Chapter IV

Chapter 4/?

Wordcount 2,5k

Title Care

Fandom Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing Toji Fushiguro X reader

Read the previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warning (s) mentions of baby's discomfort/bellyache, tension

Tagging @brumous11 (if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just send an ask or a message 😉)

N. A. I was expecting this chapter to be a bit shorter, because it's going to work as a transition, a sort of interlude between the friendly relationship built between Toji and reader and the closer one they will create in the near future, but it ended up as long as the previous ones. It surprises me, however, that they have been prepared and posted so fast when I use to take so long in this process whatever the story I'm writing.

Also a brief comment on Megumi's discomfort: I've read something about baby's bellyache and its causes and didn't find many stuff about this symptom in babies of 7-9 months (it's established in this chapter that he is now 9 months). When reader asks Toji if he never had this type of ache before, he replies that it happened just once when he was a newborn, not because he might never had a bellyache after that, but because he didn't have it so often, nor it was as intense as this time. He states that Megumi is a healthy kid, so the worries o both him and reader are justified. And more is coming in the next chapter to increase their concern.

Apart from the qualities you’ve learned to appreciate in him despite the relatively little time you’ve spent in his company, there were some things about Toji Fushiguro that you couldn’t help being upset about.

One of these things was the fact that, unless you were in the same place or he decided to do it, it was almost impossible to contact him during the day. Yes, he was always with a cell phone in his pocket, but making him answer a call was a worthless mission; waiting for him to reply a message quickly was like waiting for a miracle. You found out about that right in the first week with Megumi, something that you’ve never expected to see while dealing with a parent, so that you had to solve any inconveniences all by yourself.

On one hand, Toji’s attitude gave you autonomy to create the routine you believed to be the best for the baby and let you free from the stress some parents would put on the babysitter when they insisted on having things their way; on the other hand, it was easy to get lost without his help when surprises happened, and that exasperated you in a way you couldn’t explain: your experience in that job told you how hard it could be to take care of a child without a partner’s help, and he must have known that, but he didn’t seem so worried about it as you were. Was he taking advantage of you by throwing all the responsibility of worrying on your back, or were you just exaggerating the importance of your own part? You felt your head aching every time you tried to find a reasonable answer for these questions.

But even more irritating than not being able to contact Toji when you needed was to realize that you couldn’t be mad at him for too long when he came back and started talking to you as if nothing happened, asking how things went in his absence while involving the asleep baby in his arms, sometimes joking about how dedicated you were to him and that he was afraid you would end up spoiling the little boy. If it was something in the way he spoke or if you were too soft for keeping up with a conflict for too long, you didn’t know, but you always ended up smiling and forgetting about the rest.

Besides that, you hated how easy was for him to read you, for he always – always – knew when you were mad, so that you gave up on trying to hide your irritation.

Just like that evening, the day when he took the longest to come back, and you were particularly tired and just wanted to leave, but he won’t show up. Megumi just woke up and wanted you to pick him up, so you ignored the protests of your aching arms and took him with you; fortunately he wasn’t a whining, spoiled child, so you had at least the privilege of quietness, but no actual rest would be allowed while his father was out.

When you heard the front door opening and he finally appeared, you stood up immediately and asked if something happened.

He was tired as well, you noticed, yet he gave you his largest grin, guessing the implied demand in your words: why did you disappear for so long this time?

- Work sent me to the other side of the town today.

He came to you and took the baby with him, just like he used to do, and you startled when when he raised a free hand and gave you a brief touch under your chin.

- Sorry for that, darling. I’ll make amends in your payment this week, okay?

You crossed your arms and kept quiet. So he was thinking he could just buy you with money? How about trying to be more responsible and answering the damn phone at least to say he was alive?

The grin faded on his lips and he raised an eyebrow at you.

- What’s that with this look? You’re really mad, aren’t you?

It didn’t make sense to deny it if he knew the truth. You sighed.

- You know, sometimes it would be good if you just gave me a sign that everything’s alright. There are days when I really need some help or instructions, and others when Megumi asks me from time to time where you are. I always say you’re coming back soon, but it’s not always enough for him.

- Not always enough for him? – he frowned – He’s a baby. He’s supposed to believe you. Besides, I always come back.

- Yes, but he needs you!

Toji turned his gaze on you and you thought that any verbal response he might have had for you would be better than the silence that fell between you right after that. Were you crossing the line, or was he realizing he was wrong?

Your embarrassment was such that you couldn’t stay any longer to find out. You mumbled a flustered goodbye and passed by him without settling at which hour you should come back the next day. However, you didn’t go too far on your way toward the door: you felt a warm, strong grip surrounding your wrist; when you looked down, you saw his hand, twice the size of your own, keeping you from leaving.

This time, the first words were said by him.

- Look, I know I messed up and I’m really sorry, y/n. Also you’re right when you say he needs me. But I have to disappoint you in this by saying that things won’t change, not because I don’t want it but because I can’t make it different. My job… there’s a reason why I don’t talk about it to you. It might sound as a lie or drama, but there are moments during my shift that I could fail at my tasks or get into big problems if I do simple stuff like answering a phone call. Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell you exactly what I do, but until there you will have to be content with this… if you really want to keep working here.

You thought of that for a moment. There were good and bad things about this situation you would have to measure, but you wouldn’t have the time to do it right now. For example, it was good to know that the main problem wasn’t in you or him, nor in your motivations or his; you weren’t alone with your worries. However, it was bad that you had your instincts triggered again by this strange explanation of his: what kind of dark stuff he had to do for the sake of money and that should interfere in the time he could be spending with his own son?

Well, whatever it was, you still needed to pay your own bills and you truly liked to be with Megumi, so you couldn’t just leave because Toji was acting with secrecy. Many of the things you were preoccupied with were none of your business, after all.

- I’m sorry for this, Toji-san – you sighed – You have all the right to keep your secrets, just as I have the right to do with mine. And I don’t really wanna leave. I only spoke like that because I care.

Toji still had his hand on your wrist. You sensed a subtle loosening on his grip, as to show you that you were free to go, but you didn’t move away from him until you said you care. He stared at you as if questioning what you meant.

- I care about Megumi – you continued – I’ve been with him almost every day for at least two months, so how can I just not being worried about him?

Both of you knew this was not exactly what Toji was expecting to hear, neither it was all you wanted to say. I care about him, and I care about you too, it as what was hanging on the tip of your tongue, yet you swallowed it back. You cared about Toji, more than you were supposed to, and each day it was becoming harder to deny it, even to yourself. Yet you didn’t want to face it, to feed it, to give space for a response from his part. Just like you said to Mari that day, you just wanted peace, and you were aware that it was the last thing you would have beside that man.

You removed your wrist from his hand at last and adjusted the bag’s strap on your shoulder.

- It’s getting late. I have to go. Do you need me to come back tomorrow?

- That would be good – he replied while changing Megumi’s position in his arms – Can you come around midday or something?

- Yeah, sure. If anything happens, I’ll text you, okay?

- Okay.

But he didn’t allow you to leave yet. Before you turned to the room’s exit, he brought his hand to your face for a second time, now drawing circles with his thumb on your cheek.

- And what is this pout? Still mad?

You smiled and turned your face way.

- Stop it.

The scar on his mouth moved a bit with the smile he gave you.

- That’s better. Frowning will only give you wrinkles, darling.

You giggled.

- If getting ugly would force you to leave me alone, I wouldn’t mind.

- I’m afraid it won’t work.

His harsh laugh got louder as your own faded, for your anger wouldn’t last any longer.

***

It was Friday and you caught yourself wanting to stay at home all day and ignore the fact that your life was still going on. It wasn’t the first time that the end of a week brought this feeling to you, but it hasn’t been so strong in ages: it almost felt like a warning, as if a sequence of bad things was waiting for you once you’ve put your foot outside your home.

You oblige yourself to think you were just tired and in need of vacation, then left the bed anyway; you took a brief breakfast and organized your study supplies and your work bag, for you didn’t want to worry about anything: just like you used to do when Toji asked you to go earlier, you wouldn’t come back home after your classes; instead you would just take the train and go straight to his house, buy your lunch from the restaurant he indicated and stay there until it was your time to leave.

Later, after thinking of the events of that day, you thanked your intuition for getting you prepared to face the worst.

Right when you arrived and Toji opened the door, you saw in his eyes an unfamiliar preoccupation that he tried to unsuccessfully disguise.

- What happened? – you asked as soon as he let you in.

- Megumi is not so well today. He didn’t sleep half of the last night and had a hard time eating this morning – he told you as you went to the baby’s room – That’s why I asked you to come as soon as you could.

You entered the space with pastel blue wallpapers covering the four sides of it, with patterns of animals and colored letters here and there, and in the center of it there was the cradle where the boy was now trying to rest, but the discomfort caused by the unknown condition wouldn’t let him sleep. A strange sensation wrapped your stomach.

Toji took him from the cradle and he moaned in response. You recognized the sound and part of you felt relieved, for the case didn’t seem so serious.

- It’s a bellyache. Is this the first time he has it?

- No. It happened when he was less than one month old, but it disappeared suddenly – he explained – He has always been a healthy kid. Never had a tendency to this. I don’t understand whats going on this time.

You asked him to hold the baby for a moment. That time, Megumi complained for going from one person’s arms to other’s. You made him lie on his stomach upon your right arm while your left hand kept him in place by supporting his back.

The baby finally seemed to calm down, but you noticed the tension lingering in his father’s expression. Subtleties didn’t work with that man, so you asked a direct question about his nervousness.

- It’s not only because of him, right? Tell me, what’s going on. Is it something related to your job?

He nodded.

- I’m heading to a distant place this time. Still inside the city, but at least two or three hours from here. And it’s a complicated work they’ve put in my hands now. So I have no idea when, or even if I’ll be able to talk to you. Useless to say, but I also don’t know when I’m coming back.

You swallowed. If Toji himself wasn’t hiding his worries from you, how were you supposed to feel about this situation?

- Are you telling me you might not come back today?

- Yes.

You sensed your throat tightening with the confirmation. Megumi moved in your arms, still disturbed, but wasn’t going to start to cry. You took a deep breath and decided to ignore your own concerns to concentrate in what was the most important thing now: the boy’s well being.

- If you have to stay out for this long, just do what you have to do, Toji-san – you assured him – I’ll take care of everything here. I’ll keep an eye on Megumi and if his condition increases, I’ll take him to the nearest hospital. I might text you if I do so, but you don’t need to answer me if you don’t have the time or the opportunity.

He kept quiet for a second, but finally agreed with the arrangement. He already knew how it was upsetting for you to not have an answer from him when you needed to, and seeing you make such a concession this time was anything but meaningful.

He turned to a chair beside the cradle where a backpack was lying. You didn’t like to see it in his hand: it only reinforced the idea of him being away for too long. He put one stripe over his shoulder and turned back to you.

- Okay, so. Do what you believe it’s best for him. I’ll do what I can there.

His voice was low, soaked in a seriousness that alarmed you, but he didn’t give you much time to think of it: before you could understand what he was doing, Toji held your chin and made you approach him, then placed a brief kiss on your temple.

The gesture left you stunned. Yes, you were used to have him joking with you from time to time, doing things like pinching your cheek or blinking at you, but that was the first serious sign of affection he showed towards you ever.

- You’re always doing your best, darling – he whispered, still close to you – It’s good that we can count on you.

He kissed the baby’s head and left the room in silence.