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picturetoburnnn · 6 years ago

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Like To Be You (Ch. 2)| Ashton Irwin x Reader

word count - 2.1k

warnings - mentions of harassment and/or assault. fluff pursues.

taglist - @songforhema @asht0ns-world @lukesflaredpants @sunflowerxcal @lover-calum @cxddlyash @emomack @merryblueberry02 @kinglyhood @caswinchester2000 @babe-babylon @irwinkitten @1delicate-fangirl

requested tag for LTBY series - @biddyboi5000 @cashtonsbetch @ghostofcth @kikii-stfu @lockthisheartinchains @charlyssacook @imadontstopacoustic @afuckingunicornn @claredolphinbear24 @carostar2020

author note - y’all are cool. sorry this took so long. a bit hard to write with a broken wrist :// hope yall enjoy this!!

PART ONE // MASTERLIST

It’d been three weeks since she’d last seen or heard from Ashton, but only days since an envelope filled with cash appeared in her mailbox with a snake stamped in the corner. It had no address, return or delivery, leading her to believe that someone had placed it there in the middle of the night or while at work.

But tonight wasn’t the time to think about that. Y/N was out with her friends, and she was damn sure gonna have a good time.

The club was dark, with neon lights flashing every few seconds. The bass beat thrummed through Y/N’s body, convinced it was her heartbeat. She smiled with her best friend as they danced, swaying hips like nobody’s business.

“Want a drink?” Her friend’s voice was hardly even audible over the blasting music.

“What?” Y/N yelled over the crowd.

The question was repeated louder; Y/N heard it this time, nodding in response and watching as her friend squeezed between people to head to the bar.

As soon as she was out of eyesight, Y/N felt hands on her hips. She spun in place to find a mousy looking man smirking, hands still on her waist.

“Hi baby.” His voice was scratchy, grisly.

Y/N’s expression twisted into one of disgust.

“Get off me,” she simmered, spinning back around and dislodging the wandering fingers.

“C’mon sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear, replacing his hands. “Don’t be like that.”

She fought against his hold, but to no avail. He was determined to keep his palms precisely where he wanted them. Y/N began to panic, but shoved it down. She would not allow this man to control her that easily.

“I can fuck that mean right out of you.”

Y/N brought her foot up sharply, then jabbed the heel of her pumps on his foot. He released her with a cry of pain, balancing on one leg as he held the injured foot.

With him distracted, Y/N tried to fight her way through the crowd, to little avail.

“You bitch,” he seethed, reaching out for her again. But before he could grab her, a hand clamped around his wrist.

“The lady said no,” came a familiar voice. “No means no.”

“This doesn’t concern you,” Handsy hissed, half-limping as he tore his hand away.

“This is my club, and you’re harassing my patrons. Pretty sure I can step in.” Y/N stood tall behind this new redheaded defender, who looked quite good in his white tank top and dress pants.

“My girl and I were about to head home.” Bullshit-Man beckoned to Y/N.

Y/N stepped forward, surprising both the males. She gave the assaulter a sweet smile before shoving her knee upward, watching as he crumpled over in pain.

She crouched over his figure. “Don’t fucking touch me.” It took all her willpower not to spit on him as she stood and walked away.

“Y/N!” Her friend appeared in front of her, a drink in each hand. “Took forever to get them.”

“I think I’m gonna go home,” Y/N sighed.

“What? This drink cost five dollars alone! Please?"

"Sorry ma'am." the man who had come to Y/N's rescue spoke again. "She's not suited for a night out this evening. I'll have the bartender refund the drink. Tell him Ash said it's alright."

Without further conversation, he guided Y/N to a side exit she didn't know existed.

"What the hell, Ashton?" she hissed once the door had shut, the light rain falling between them. "You flirt with me for a few days, then you fucking ghost me, then you show up on my night out? This is my first night off in weeks, and you show up and ruin it!"

"I'm sorry, would you rather I hadn't have stepped in?" Ashton's hiss made Y/N flinch, but she hid it well.

“I was handling it just fine.” She turned on her heel, raindrops flying from her hair.

“Wait,” he sighed, grabbing her arm.

She wrenched herself free of his grasp. “You don’t touch me either.”

He immediately withdrew his hands, holding them up, palm facing out, by his shoulders. His red hair clung to his forehead in cute little strands.

“I just wanna talk to you.” His face held some sort of emotion Y/N couldn’t name. She considered for a moment.

“I still carry that pepper spray in my purse,” she said, signalling for him to start speaking.

“Didn’t expect any less,” he acknowledged, dropping his hands. “I’m sorry for just dropping out of your life like that. I just--” He couldn’t seem to find the right words. How could he explain how he was trying to ensure your safety by keeping you out of gang business without revealing how much he liked you?

“It wasn’t safe if I kept hanging around you. If anyone from the other gangs in town thought I had some connection to you, they would target you. I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t deal with the thought of you getting hurt because of me.”

Y/N stepped closer to him. “But what if that was a risk I was willing to take? Did you think for one second that maybe I liked being around you?” She jabbed a finger in his chest, getting up in his face. “I am well aware of the people you are friends or enemies with. It was a risk I was willing to take. You’re entitled to be worried, but you can’t just drop off the planet then resurface looking like this and take my goddamn breath away when I’m trying to be mad at you.”

She hadn’t meant to say the last part, but he heard it anyway. In an instant, Ashton was cradling her face in his hands, and pressed his lips harshly to hers. Y/N let out a squeak of surprise. Ashton pulled just inches away, breathing heavily. Y/N stared into his eyes, and when he opened his mouth to say something she pulled him back to her.

The kiss was fiery, like the floodgates holding every emotion the pair had bottled up over the past three weeks were opened. The searing intensity was almost overwhelming. With the rain falling, it was like a scene from a movie.

When the couple finally split, neither felt they could breathe properly.

"Sorry," Ashton breathed raggedly. "I had to do it just once."

"Shut up," Y/N whispered and pulled his lips back to hers.

"Let me make it up to you," he whispered. "I will. There's a little place I know not too far from here. Are you hungry?"

Y/N nodded.

"So what is it that you do?" He asked gently as they walked through the city.

Y/N swung their intertwined hands. "I'm a pediatric nurse at the hospital. I take care of the kids when they're not immediately in the doctor's care."

Ashton smiled softly at her.

"What?" She half-chuckled.

"That's so adorable," he giggled. "Like, I can't explain it. Picturing you and little kids -- it's just so cute to me."

"Wow, buy me dinner before you talk about kids to me." Y/N smirked deviously.

The redness that overtook Ashton's face made any ounce of uncertainty she had about this 'date' disappear.

"That-tha-that wasn't what I meant, I'm so sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to imply--"

"Ashton," she cut him off. "I'm teasing. It's okay."

The redhead looked at her, wide eyed, before letting out a nervous laugh. The rest of the walk was in comfortable silence, with the occasional point and saying "that dog is so cute!"

A diner came into view: an adorable retro design in all black, white, and red. Y/N couldn't help but chance a peek at the gang member beside her. He looked so soft in the yellow glow of the streetlamps. His smile was so wide. She almost wondered how he could have looked frightening that first night.

"I used to come here when I was a kid," he mumbled. "Me, Lauren, 'n Harry would walk here when mum worked late. It's been years."

"Well they better be good." Y/N grinned as she tightened her grip on his hand, pushing open the doors.

Laughter filled the diner, with furtive glances across the table. With only themselves and the waitress there, the whole place felt like theirs.

Halfway through a shared chocolate shake (“What do you mean you’ve never dipped your fries in a chocolate shake?” “I mean I’m sane!”), the opening notes to George Ezra’s Hold My Girl played softly through the diner. Ashton’s head whipped up from his straw when he heard her gentle gasp.

“Oh my God, I love this song,” Y/N breathed.

The redhead watched in awe as the girl closed her eyes and whispered along to the words, swaying side to side ever so slightly. Before he can think about what he’s doing, he stands from his side of the booth and holds his hand out for her.

“What are you doing?” Her question was laced with nervous giggles as she opened her eyes.

“C’mon, trust me,” he muttered softly. Y/N put her hand in his.

He pulled her up from her seat, chest pressed to his. She automatically pressed her cheek to his chest, though she had no idea why.

“Sing it to me,” he muttered into her hair as he began swaying them back and forth.

For a moment, the song was only heard through the speakers of the diner. His heart dropped as he thought he may have moved too fast. Then--

“I’ve got time, I’ve got love.”

He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“Got confidence you’ll rise above. Give me a minute to hold my girl, give me a minute to hold my girl.”

They danced through the tables to the soft love song, getting faster and wilder with the music. He spun her in circles, giant smiles on both their faces.

My girl, my girl.

It takes one hot second to turn it around.

As the song gently slowed down, so did their dance. The closing notes played quietly as the couple swayed back and forth, all thoughts of whoever else may be in the diner forgotten. The moment of silence between songs was all Y/N to break out of her trance. She pushed herself off Ashton, wide eyed. The boy confusedly watched the girl of his dreams sit back in the booth, dazed.

“Everything good? Can I get you two anything else?” The elderly waitress that appeared at the table pulled his attention away. Agnes, her name tag read.

“No ma’am, just the check please,” Y/N muttered softly.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that,” she said in the most grandmother-like way possible. “It’s on the house. You two-- I’ve never seen anyone as in love as you are. It’s the most lovely thing I’ve seen in years. Beautiful couple, you are.”

“Oh, we’re not-- I- I’m not--, Ash and I, we--”

Agnes gave a knowing smile. “Of course not.” She walked off without another word.

Ashton said nothing, but brought his wallet out and carefully placed a hundred dollar bill in the center of the table.

“Ashton,” Y/N hissed, eyes wide. “The total was less than twenty.”

“She was sweet. She complimented you,” he said without looking up at her.

Wrapping her fingers around his, Ashton once again pulled Y/N from her seat. “It’s late, I should take you home.”

The walk to Y/N’s home was filled with quiet, both lost in thought as the rain faded to mist around them.

“Here we are,” he breathed when they arrived on the doorstep.

“It was good to see you again.”

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?”

Neither dared speak louder than a whisper, afraid to lose the moment. Afraid to lose the butterflies in their stomachs.

“Do you wanna come in?” Y/N offered, desperate not to let the night die.

“I don’t think I should, doll. Next time, I will. I promise.” He held her cheek with one hand, fingertips brushing the nape of her neck. Their faces were inches apart.

“Am I gonna see you again?” Y/N asked, finally letting her vulnerability show.

“Without a doubt,” Ashton whispered before sealing his lips to hers gently.

#idk i think the first half was good #then it went downhill #oh well #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin 5sos #ashton irwin x reader #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #michael clifford #michael 5sos #calum hood #calum 5sos #5sos #5sos x reader #5sos funny #My writing

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afterthelambs · 2 years ago

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Mushitaro+Yokomizo's parallels with other character pairings

I noticed a surprising amount of parallels between Mushitaro and his dead friend Yokomizo with the other characters in BSD (fyolai, dazai, ranpoe, sskk). There's even potential foreshadowing for the future of certain characters. Idk if anyone's done this before but I wanted to write something about it since we're meeting them in the anime soon. Just hear me out for a bit, and spoilers for the manga up to current events!

So Yokomizo is a mystery writer and his goal is to create the "Ultimate Mystery" greater than anything else in the genre. He achieved this by having his friend Mushitaro secretly kill him, turning his own death into a real life mystery. Basically, his death at his friend's hands brought him fulfillment.

This is a common theme in BSD characters: Death as an expression of love or death with the person you love bringing fulfillment. Yokomizo turned to Mushitaro to be the "key" to his death because Mushitaro is the only one he trusts. Mushitaro agreed to this plan because he cares about Yokomizo. He wants to "fulfill his friend's final wish" even if it hurts him in the process. This murder represented how much they loved each other. Chapter 56 shows Yokomizo telling Mushitaro "you truly are the only--" while Mushitaro cries:

To me this parallels Fyodor and Nikolai's storyline later on. Chapter 78 is where we find out that Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor because Fyodor is "the only one who gets him" (which sounds a lot like what Yokomizo's last words to Mushitaro were). Since Nikolai's goal is to go against his emotions, that means his actual desire is to keep Fyodor with him. Nikolai's basically saying "You're the one I have to kill because you're the one I love the most." Just like Mushitaro, it's death as an expression of love.

I believe the parallel is intentional since it's through Mushitaro that we first meet Nikolai in chapter 57. Isn't it fitting that the characters with very similar arcs serve as introductions to each other?

This could be more than just a cool parallel. It potentially foreshadows Nikolai's future if he does manage to kill Fyodor (or if he's fooled into thinking Fyodor is dead). We see what happens to Mushitaro after Yokomizo is dead. In chapter 69, he writes to Yokomizo as if he were still alive and cries while doing it. Then he hallucinates Yokomizo giving him advice in his time of need:

In the same chapter he says "I can't drum up much interest in the outside world any longer." While Yokomizo found fulfillment in dying, Mushitaro was left alive and suffering. Maybe this is what awaits Nikolai if he achieves his goal? I've seen people meme on this before, the whole Nikolai-kills-Fyodor-and-instantly-regrets-it but given this parallel, it's actually a possible direction for his character. But this is just a guess/meta/prediction so take it with a grain of salt.

On a lighter note, there's Ranpo and Poe. They also have a dynamic where they're the only ones who get each other, and that's the reason Poe wanted to kill Ranpo initially. The difference is they realized immediately that the other's presence fulfills them more than their death would. (good for Ranpoe for being the most stable pairing in BSD). From chapters 32 and 49:

The next parallel is Dazai and his constant desire for a double suicide. It's not as clear a parallel since there isn't any love here (he begs literal strangers for it). But he does have the same concept of death bringing fulfillment, even if the rest of the BSD cast is (rightfully) horrified/confused by it. Interestingly, he actually does commit suicide in the Beast universe... in the presence of Atsushi and Akutagawa. So like Yokomizo, he still wanted his death to be witnessed by meaningful company.

So is that all? I mean, the main duo of the series is Shin Soukoku but they don't seem to have any parallels with Mushitaro and Yokomizo. They try to kill each other yeah but they hate each other. This is supposed to be about death as an expression of love, or death by someone you love bringing fulfillment. What parallels could they possibly have with them?

Oh wait whats this--

oh. oh.

So Yokomizo had a terminal illness... with one year to live... and he used his friend as a last resort to finding fulfillment...

That sounds familiar...

Yeah... 🥲

Akutagawa desperately wants acknowledgement from Dazai before he dies. He thinks the only way he can achieve that is through his rivalry with Atsushi. Just like Yokomizo needed Mushitaro, Akutagawa needs Atsushi for his fulfillment. The fact that it can only be Atsushi PLUS the fact that Atsushi hallucinates Akutagawa telling him what to do in the recent chapter 105, similar to how Mushitaro hallucinated Yokomizo giving him advice in chapter 69? It shows they do find meaning in the other (even if it's not 'love').

Last bit of angst before this ends: if Yokomizo's illness truly is foreshadowing for Akutagawa's illness, then idk if I like that because it kinda foreshadows that Aku's ultimate fate really is to die even if he somehow manages to come back from being a vampire.

And that's fun. Everyone loves the thought of their favorite character dying :DD

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