#DONT look at the rocks too hard okay i. i was tired by that point
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
hypnoneghoul ¡ 10 months ago
Note
okay this is the one topic I will go on anon for, dont mind me.
anyway, seeing as we have a kind of piss thing going on (a trickle if you will god Im sorry)
what about rain convincing the others to just, completely soak him in a gold shower. like think bukkake but piss. I would love to see it with everyone but if also understand if you dont want to do that, in that case choose who you think are best for the scenario. and if you dont wanna write it at all thats also perfectly fine pls dont feel like you have to!
bestie the noise that escaped my mouth when i saw that... yeah
700 words, what it says in the ask so bukkake but piss, rain x all the boys with transmasc dew, bit of p in v
Rain is a freak. He may not seem like one, but he is and all the pack knows it all too well. Each and every one of them was a subject of his… fantasies so many times it was uncountable at this point, whether he was doing something to them or asking them to do something to him.
One of Rain’s favorites was when it was the others’ turn to do something to him. All of them, preferably.
It started with a good old fashioned orgy. A sex party, if you will, though this time the ghoulettes kept away, letting the boys to their own devices. The ghouls locked themselves in Rain’s room hours ago and only noises that kept spilling out of there were an indicator of them still being alive and well. Maybe not too well.
The party was slowly coming to an end. Its grand finale. Everyone had taken a cock and everyone’s cock was taken. Nearly everyone had cum, at least twice. All the sexual tension of the day was dissipating. They were getting tired, but it was still not over.
Rain was still waiting.
He was engaging alright; he’d eaten Dewdrop out, rode Mountain and fucked Phantom, but as they all kept cumming, he didn’t. Not once.
“Fuck…” Swiss sighed as he was coming down from his fourth orgasm of the night, this one inside Dewdrop’s cunt. “This is fun, but I don’t think anyone’s got more in ‘em.”
“I second this,” Aether grumbled from under Phantom. “Got your fill, Tadpole?”
“Ugh. Fine.” Everyone chuckled at Rain’s dramatic eye roll. The water ghoul truly was insatiable, but if he wanted his plan to be followed through, he’d have to agree to do it now. Otherwise he’d have to milk it out of them all asleep, which… he wouldn’t entirely mind, neither would they, but it wasn’t the plan. Rain crawled out of Mountain’s lap and to the middle of the room, settling on his knees.
“You sure you don’t wanna move to the shower?” Phantom asked, still a bit concerned. He did take part in Rain’s… play time more than once, but this particular type of action was his first. 
“Don’t you worry about it, bug,” Swiss scoffed. “He’s got it.”
“Come here,” the water ghoul all but growled at nobody in particular. All of them, really. “Soak me, make me cum.”
They didn’t need any further encouragement.
With some groans and hisses all of them made their way over to kneeling Rain, taking their positions all around him. So simple, yet so powerful. Only Dewdrop waited, sitting at the edge of the bed and staring Rain down with fire in his eyes. As usual, the best part was his.
“Come on,” the water ghoul spat out once more and without further ado, the ghouls looked at each other and got even closer. Rain was opening his mouth again but instead of words, a high pitched moan left it when Mountain’s piss hit his chest. Then Aether on his back, Swiss on his right, Phantom on his left.
Rain was completely blissed out, shuddering and moaning, hands gripping his thighs, as he was being absolutely showered in hot piss. His red cock was rock hard and leaking, waiting for the slightest of touches to make him burst, cum so hard he’d black out. He couldn’t hear the noises others were making, in awe of their packmate so filthy. 
As all the streams were slowly dying out, Dewdrop stepped in. Finally.
He straddled Rain’s lap and the water ghoul’s eyes snapped open. Before he could register what was going on, Dewdrop slammed himself all the way down onto his cock, his wet and stretched out cunt swallowing Rain up to the very hilt with no issue.
Debauched moans rang out from both of them and the fire ghoul rolled his hips exactly once before letting go with a sigh and pissing all over Rain’s cock, balls and thighs. Rain wailed, then, jaw going slack and head falling backwards as he shook all over and cummed deep inside Dewdrop, some of his copious amounts of cum leaking out and mixing with the other’s piss, still trickling out.
Now, Rain was satiated.
74 notes ¡ View notes
the-s1lly-corner ¡ 11 months ago
Note
I HAVE AN IDEAAA✨✨
so I just wondered creepypasta characters (of your choice) have a snowball fight since it's almost Christmas🫶
Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Jeff the Killer, and Laughing jack x reader having a snowball fight (platonic)
WOOOOOOOOO the creepypasta requests are keeping me sane between all the TADC requests (no shade, i will close down TADC when i truly get tired of writing for it) rolls around
Tumblr media
EYELESS JACK:
really the only reason i picked ej was because i love him and because he lives in the woods in my au/hc, so.... he gets more than enough snow and lord knows that this man needs a little fun in his life! not too incredibly competitive over the fight, so you have a decent chance at winning! not at all phased by the cold, since hes... well hes not sure what he is but hes already cold, whats a little more cold going to do? kill him? probably not.... though he does make you come back inside when you show signs of getting way too cold. he cant have you getting sick, after all! definitely makes you bundle up before you guys even open the front door. very nice, though, you actually get a smile from him... and dare i say a few laughs?
LAUGHING JACK:
really up to anything you want to do, especially if its going to be a game! while sure hes not competitive, it should be noted that lj can be a little aggressive in his play style... as in he kind of underestimates how durable people are... he probably throws a HUGE snow ball at you... and i mean like one thats at least half your size/hj... ooooooh you guys definitely make little forts! you will probably get sick, though, since unless you say anything hes not really going to notice any cues that youre getting too cold... though look on the brightside! lj is very warm and hes more than willing to let you warm up next to him! hes like a portable heater! might have to ask him to pipe down if you guys are playing in your backyard, it would be hard to explain to your neighbors who this 8 foot tall clown man is
JEFF THE KILLER:
oh i just know that hes going to put rocks in the snowballs, so you gotta be careful with that! sore loser, very competitive in the fact that "if i lose im going to lose im never going to be able to live it down (its not that serious)" so youre going to have to really plan things out if you even want a chance at winning.... okay you might not need to be overly strategic, jeff isnt the best planner and he tends to brute force his way with things, so you might have the upper hand if you actually try to hit him in his weak points. destroy his fort, overwhelm him, hit him where it hurts (its really not that deep.) very insistent that you guys keep going because he cannot stand the idea of being beat, even if you two are both freezing your asses off. you both likely get sick... jeff seems like the type to be whiny when sick imo LMAO so have fun with that
HOODIE:
like a middle between eyeless jack and jeff. hes competitive but not in the same way of jeff, he just takes the game way too seriously but he doesnt actually feel inclined to win. he can swing either way with the outcome, you know? does not put rocks in the snowball, though. not a dirty cheat, plus he doesnt actually want to hurt you! makes very good forts that are sturdy, you SWEAR hes put bricks in them but rest assured its pure snow. takes you inside ones you start showing signs of getting too cold, probably puts a time out on the game by making the T hand shape that people do in games, since i personally hc that he doesnt speak (communicates via primarily sign language but he sometimes leaves you notes!). doesnt get sick easily, so if you do get sick hes going to look after you. dont even try to fight it. he has nothing better to do, hes going to be there whether you want him there or not
113 notes ¡ View notes
aeneaans ¡ 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
that fated day
synopsis: after a tiring day, you and diluc decide to watch a meteor shower together
word count: 1,323
c/w: none !!!
note: hi !! this is my first time posting on tumblr >_< please enjoy !! i dont post super often but yeah :3
Tumblr media
There wasn’t a single cloud in sight that night, the stars littered the vast ocean in its reflection. “Hey, do you believe in wishing upon a star?” You asked as the two of you returned to Mondstadt after taking down a few Fatui camps together in the evening. Diluc lowers his head slightly and ponders his response. His steps across the ground are soft, yet they still hold a sense of authority to them. It’s quiet. Crickets chirp in the warm summer breeze, the sky turning dark at last. Mondstadt has mostly fallen asleep by now–the city that’s filled to the brim at the brink of dawn has not a flicker of light in sight. The windmills continue to spin, as does the wind blow, and the summer dew trickles from the petals of the Cecilias.
“I’ve never thought about things like that. I suppose I don’t.” Diluc responds after a few seconds of thought. “Why the sudden question?”
Right before you set out on your adventure with Diluc, Mona happened to be at the main gate. As it turns out, she briefly informs you that there’s a meteor shower tonight. It was Mona you’re talking about, so of course you’d trust her words.
“I heard there’s a meteor shower tonight,” You explain. “It reminded me of when my parents gave me mora to toss in the fountain in exchange for a wish, I guess.” And to that statement, Diluc’s lips faintly tugged upwards. You reminisce back to when you were just a small child, when Mondstadt seemed so much more peaceful compared to now. The idea seemed rather childish now.
“Do you want to check it out?” He says, head facing the sky to look up to the stars. When he says that, your eyes light up accompanied by a bright smile.
“Well…it’s true that I haven’t seen one in a while. It wouldn’t hurt to check it out.” You say, trying not to sound overly-excited. You clutch your bag tightly, fiddling with the strap.
“We’re not too far from Cape Oath.” Diluc mentions so quickly that if you hadn’t been paying attention, you would have missed it. Nobody is out this late anyway, so it’d be a nice break from all the battling the two of you have been facing.
“Then let’s go to Cape Oath!” Suddenly, you realize the implications of the two of you going to Cape Oath—‘The Lovers’ Oath’—together.
After a few seconds, it hit you. “Ah,” You mumble under your breath. “Maybe we should just stay here to watch?” You turn back to him, desperately trying to avoid any misunderstandings and awkwardness. He looks at you and tilts his head innocently, seemingly confused as to why you’d change your mind so fast. He stares at you as you try to explain yourself without making it obvious you were a flustered mess. It doesn’t work very well, as your hands begin to fiddle with the strap of your bag once again. Your eyes dart around as words just seem to pour from your mouth, neverending.
After some more sputtering from your side, Diluc lets out a soft laugh. He clearly put two and two together in the time you tried, and failed, to explain yourself, understanding why you’d want to stay put instead.
“It’s okay,” He smiles at you and begins to walk towards Cape Oath, gesturing for you to follow. You quickly catch up to him, the grass crunching quietly beneath your feet. After several minutes of walking in silence, Diluc points out a light in the sky.
He seemed to frown, “It started already.” Diluc purses his lips, looking back at you. Though, it’s hard to tell when he’s actually frowning since his resting face always seems to be so…somber.
“Isn’t it good that it started so early?” You ask, curiously. You looked up at the sky, shards of space rock shooting down into Teyvat.
He stops in his tracks and turns to you. “You were quite excited to see this meteor shower.” He glances back to the sky, admiring it for a few seconds before looking toward Cape Oath. He seems to be lost in thought, brows somewhat furrowed and squinting toward your destination.
“We’re still seeing it, aren’t we?” You were never a believer in ‘special locations’ that much. Superstitions didn’t make sense to you. After all, is fate really real? What matters is that you live the life the way you want, right?
He stopped in his tracks, finally turning back to you. “You wanted to see it at Cape Oath, no?”
But he was right. Cape Oath was a scenic area, and it would definitely be a better view than in the middle of nowhere. Just imagine: The meteor shower filling the sky with dozens of warm tones as the color is reflected into the large body of water below the cliff as you’re surrounded by greenery.
“Well, yes. But it’s not much of a difference. Besides, you’re here with me and that’s all that matters, isn’t it?” Diluc’s eyes widen for a second and look away from you.
“We can still make it if we run.” He mutters to himself. It was just the beginning of the show, it definitely hasn’t gotten to the best part yet. As the shower continues, you grab his arm out of sheer impulse.
“Then…let’s go.” You weren’t exactly sure why you did what you did, but you did it. You dashed across the grassy plains, feeling the grass crunch beneath your feet. You felt Diluc being pulled along with you before he finally managed to balance himself again, running with you. You felt the wind brushing past your face with each step you took, covering a large distance in a short time. You felt your breath getting irregular and your throat felt dry, but you didn’t stop.
Your eyes weren’t focused on the meteor shower anymore, just on your destination—Cape Oath. You looked back at Diluc occasionally, the two of you rushing toward the cliff with no words exchanged. Perhaps it was to save some breath, or perhaps it was the fact that there were no words left that needed to be said.
Luckily, the two of you weren’t that far from the cliff. It was only a few minutes of nonstop, high-speed running. But before the two of you know it, you've arrived at the cape. Panting from all the running, you immediately fall onto your knees, your legs were provided a somewhat soft yet rough landing by the vast field. A few dandelions surrounded your being, a few crushed under your leg. The broken stems left a trail of water dripping down your lower leg down to your ankle.
Still catching your breath, you finally speak. “You were right, Cape Oath really is a good spot for this stuff.” You lean back, your palms flat on the ground. Diluc gives a quick nod before sitting down again. His breathing is quiet, but he’s definitely panting. You find it a little silly as to how he would try to hide the simple fact that he’s tired. After all, anyone would be.
“Did you make a wish?” You break the silence again, catching Diluc off guard. Your gaze is stuck to the sky, the bursts of colors before your very eyes.
“Yeah,” As you were about to ask what it was, you remember your parents saying that the wish won’t come true if you say it out loud.
“Did you?” He asks, finally turning to look at you.
“I did, but I’m not telling you.” You turn to him as well, giving him a cheeky smile.
“Of course,” He closes his eyes for a split second before they flutter open once again just to take in the view. Together, just near the edge of the cape admiring the spectacle that nature staged for Mondstadt, there’s a comfortable silence that can't be broken between your pair.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
49 notes ¡ View notes
doyoueverfeelme ¡ 11 months ago
Text
04.04.2024 - 2128 - King of Losers
Yes, thats me. king of the losers. i lost everything. i lost. im the loser. i have this aching pain in my chest, now that i accept, i lost. im a loser. i lost so hard in love. i even lost count of how many times i lost. am i ugly?
i'm listening to karma police now. i couldnt find a song named king of the losers but maybe i should make that song myself. as soon as i got my dj set, i will make a song named king of the losers.
im horrible, horrible, horrible, feeling horrible, horrible,horrible. why why why.
no answers, no help again. im back to my 16. i was seeking for help desperately, no one came to help me no one came to save me. now im 24, again im in need of big help. now only difference is that i know no help is coming, no one will save me, now i know so my pain is colder. not as hot as 16. but still hurts. and people make babies. retarded people. who wants to live through all these pain? why would i sacrifice my beloved child by giving birth to it. why would i create another human. to get through all these suffering? cruel and im not gonna be cruel to my own child. so no babies.
im listening radiohead. arabesk rock. lol.
this year, i think i failed 15 relationships. im not sure about the exact number. first one lasted 4 months and i left him in a random they where i understood we're not compatible.
then i find a few narcicst psychos, each lasted 1 month max. then i left them all.
then i fell in love in june, hardest love of my life. i was sure he loved me back, but he left me. then i went to him again, just to see he has a girlfriend now. my heart shattered. why did you ask to be with me again if you have a girlfriend, why do you touch and hug to my soul and rip inside my heart, if youre not gonna love me properly. people are so cruel. im so soft. i tried to kill the soft in me, sometimes it comes back to life. but my soft has to die, so that i can live. i can't survive in this horror world as a kindest softest soul.
then this asshole, i just learned that he has a girlfriend too and wants to be with me as well, this asshole is someone i know for 5 years. i left him too. i dont think looking back after this point ever.
no body deserves my greatness. but im so alone. so alone. im okay with being alone, but im scared of myself. my mind is trying to drive me crazy. my mind wants to be lost. my mind is scaring me. im scared of myself. im scared of my capabilities. all therapist are retarded losers and they all suck. i couldn't find a threapist that i trust. i couldn't find someone to be with. i couldn't find good friends. i always thought im the issue but i dont think this anymore. im truly great. maybe i did mistakes, but this is not what i deserve.
is everyone this lonely? do i have to suffer all my existence? i had suffered from my own thoughts since the beginning of my conciseness. i'm strong, very strong. but its so hard. its ripping me apart. this is so so hard.
i keep praying, but god never answers. im not sure if someone hears me, i keep talking to myself. there is no one in and out of me. i keep falling and falling, getting up and falling again. getting up just to fall back again. im so tired of gettin up myself. so tired of holding my own hand. even tired of eating drinking sleeping and breathing. this life is a prison. my mind and my body is a prison. existence is a torture. i can but i cant at the same time. im so sad. so sad. so sad.
my heart is burning like a fire
0 notes
obsob ¡ 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
a redraw of ‘lament for icarus’ by herbert james draper ✷
9K notes ¡ View notes
no-droids ¡ 5 years ago
Text
Brown Eyes
Tumblr media
Part Nine of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 10.1K dont. just dont
Warnings: Smut, AS ALWAYS.  Canon typical violence, verbal references masochism/pain kink (NOT ACTUALLY EXPLORED IN THIS CHAPTER MY DUDES, JUST HINTED AT/DISCUSSED), slight degradation, exhibitionism, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, a bit of ass play (!!!), FLUUUUFFFFFF
***
“What?”
“Hm?”
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“What’s the hold up?”
“I’m just…”  The helmet looks you up and down, considering.  You scrunch your nose at him and rock back and forth on your feet impatiently as he sighs.  “It’s going to be like teaching a foundling to read.  I’m just trying to figure out where to even begin.”
“Because it’s so fucking pretty here, I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that,” you say pointedly, looking around at the vast field of flowing grass surrounding the two of you and breathing in the warm, fresh air into your lungs.  “Your vibe is clashing, Din.”
“Because I don’t really know what that means, I’m also going to pretend you didn’t say that,” he returns, and the child’s giggles float up alongside the breeze as he chases after another, slightly smaller green reptile that you also currently have no name for.  He tilts the beskar thoughtfully at you, and you squint against the way the sun catches the visor directly in your eyes from this angle.  “What do you want to learn first?”
“I want to shoot a gun,” you blurt without thinking.
“Okay, hand-to-hand it is,” he nods firmly, and then pats his unarmored chest with one bare hand.  “Hit me.”
You blink down at the dark fabric stretched across his left pectoral, and then back up at the metallic visor staring back at you.
“Hit me,” he says again in response to your silence.  “Hard as you can.  Right here.”
“Are you sure?”  You ask, lifting your gaze up to him once more with a twist of your mouth, already out of your comfort zone.  “What if I hurt you?”
“Are you fucking kidding?”  He actually sounds… pissed off.  “Hit me.”
You immediately shove your hand up against his chest in response to the sharp order, and your palm makes a quiet slapping sound as it collides with what feels like solid rock concealed underneath black fabric.
Din says absolutely nothing.  Almost a… forced silence.  Like what he wants to say will very likely be vaguely mean and dismissive of your feelings, so he’s keeping his mouth firmly shut under the helmet.  He just pats his chest again, each one purposeful and distinct, easily making twice the amount of noise hitting himself as you did hitting him.
You ball your fist up this time and whack him with it, considerably harder this time and even making a solid thud against his pectoral, though he doesn’t even move a fraction under the blow.
“I am…” he tries to choose his words carefully after another moment of purposeful silence.  “…insulted.”
You grit your teeth and raise your arm up and back, swinging it out at him as hard as you physically can, but then the curve of his broad shoulder suddenly jerks back just before you can touch him and your fist is caught from the side with a gentle grip.
“Better.  You wound up that time, that gives you momentum.  But never come at someone like this,” he tells you, lifting your arm back up to the way it was before and then slowly hinging it down again against his chest.  “This is how you were going to hit.  See how your pinkie is taking the brunt of the punch when you come down at it from an angle like this?”  He pushes your fist against his chest a few times to demonstrate your pinkie squishing against the solid plane of muscle.  “No matter how hard you hit me, your hand is going to take that much force, too.  That attempt had about half the power you want, but you might’ve broken your finger if I let you make contact like that.”
“Half the power?”  You narrow your eyebrows at him.  “You’ll break my whole hand.”
Din angles your wrist straight and pushes your closed fist against his chest again, this time head-on instead of at a downward angle.  “Always try to use these first two knuckles to reinforce against the impact, they’re the strongest and best aligned with the bones in your wrist.  You should also physically brace yourself for it.  Flex your arm—create as much rigidity around your joints as you can, keep your fist clenched tight to maintain integrity of the soft tissues in your hand, and your body should protect itself against the blowback as long as you land right.  Try again.”
You diligently wind your fist up again and then go to snap your arm straight forward this time, but he steps up and catches your elbow before you can even move.  “Wait.  Look at this—see this chicken wing?”  He flaps your elbow back and forth while his other hand holds your fist in place next to your head.  “This is no good, this is where you’re losing half your power.  And having your arm up like this is making you open to rib and kidney shots.”
You squirm to the side when he taps the bend of his knuckle against your kidney, and the vulnerable spot is tender even though he barely uses any force.  “I’m winding up,” you inform him with a huff.
“You are,” Din acknowledges.  “But your movement is limited like this.  See where your elbow is compared to your center of gravity?”  He flaps it again, and your shoulder pulls uncomfortably when he pushes it back just a bit too far.  “You’re restricting yourself, look.  Your shoulder is in the way, this is as far as your body will let you go.  You’re also using up too much energy trying to swing your whole arm around just to make contact; it’s sloppy technique, it slows you down, and it’ll tire you out.  But, if you wind up like this—” Din lowers your elbow until it rests flat against your side, and then hinges it backwards instead of up near your head, “—see how much further away your elbow is from your body now?  Instead of swinging outwards, think of a slingshot forwards.  Use explosive, forward momentum that you generate from your shoulder—you’re aiming for a sharp, streamlined jab.  This way you conserve energy, produce twice as much power, and your arm now covers up all this important stuff under here,” he explains, trying to tap his knuckle against your side once more but being blocked by your forearm.  “Good?  Now go again.”
He lets you go and steps back, and this time you instinctually plant your foot behind you to give you a solid base foundation that’ll allow you more room to twist, your physics brain lighting up as soon as he said slingshot.  His helmet quickly drops to your stance and then immediately lifts back up to your face again.
You do exactly as he said—you wind back, keeping your arm tucked tight to your side, and then explode forward with a sharp spin of your shoulder and snap of your elbow, colliding your clenched fist into his chest as hard as you possibly can.
He grunts and takes two steps back.
You howl.
“FUUUUUCK!”  It gets lost in the giant field of grass as you clutch your fist, torn between cradling it to your chest like a baby and shaking it out violently at your side like… something distinctly not a baby.  You settle for just bending over and holding it tightly to your stomach, eyes clamped shut and screeching with such fervor that the back of your throat stings sharp with it.  “WHAT THE FUCKING—FUCKFUCKFUCK—!?”
“Good!”  Din encourages over your wailing.  “That was good!  How’d that feel?  Holy shit—that felt good.”
“What’s the point of hitting you when it hurts me and makes you feel good!?” You cry out over your shoulder, somewhere between genuine hatred and agony.
“That was perfect,” he tells you immediately, almost sounding vaguely… out of breath behind you?  “Don’t change a thing—that’s how you punch every single time from now on, okay?  That’s how hard you hit.  Fuck, that felt fucking good.”
The… something in his voice is enough to take your mind off your throbbing hand for just a second, quickly snapping upright and whirling around to face him with your eyebrows very, very narrowed.  He stands there in front of you and you continue to eye him with as much silent skepticism as you can express, until the both of you speak at the same time.
“What was that?”
“Let’s go again.”
Neither of you move, and you feel like your face is scrunched up as tiny as possible at him right now with dubiousness.
“Let’s go again,” Din suddenly grunts out, hooking an arm around your elbow and tugging you to face forward once more.
“Did that turn you on?”  You ask him bluntly, your battle wound completely forgotten by your side.
“I swear if you don’t—”
“You get hard when you get hurt?”  You ask dumbly, all sorts of lightbulbs suddenly illuminating in dusty, cobwebbed corners of your mind.  Maker, that would explain so much.  “Is that why you wanted a handjob immediately after I burned a knife wound shut on your back?”
“You wanna learn how to punch today or you wanna learn how to block?”  Comes through the helmet, thoroughly unamused at your antics, but you just break into a mischievous little grin in response and push just one more button of his, knowing he’s only mostly joking.
“I’ll punch you,” you purr.  “Hold your arms up, show me your ribs.”
There’s a split second of silence before he quickly snaps his fist to his chest once again, oh, but it’s enough.  Your shoulders do a little victory shimmy and have to bite your lip to keep from beaming at him, so unbelievably proud of yourself for being able to read him this well without seeing his face. 
But—for the very same reason, you also plant your foot behind you and wind your arm back once more, knowing you were already treading on thin ice.
“Am I gonna have to start calling you chicken wing?”  Din suddenly barks out, a split second into your forward launch.  You almost stumble into him with all the generated momentum and catch yourself just in time, eventually stepping back and resetting with a frustrated huff.  Purposefully tucking your arm tight into your side, you pull back once more.
He mmphs when you make equally hard contact in the very same spot but he doesn’t move this time, and you somehow forgot how horribly painful it is to slam your clenched fist directly against a solid object with all your strength—much less, the second time around.  You attempt to deaden your response as well, but he has the luxury of the helmet to shield his face.  Silencing your scream just makes yours contort unattractively in front of him while your eyes clamp shut and you clutch your wrist, trying to bite back the crippling pain.
“Other hand—use the other hand instead,” he tells you quickly.  “You have two of them.”
“I used to!”  You snarl through the way you can’t even flex it anymore, how your muscles aren’t working through the angry sparks of acute sensation jumping down your fingers.  “Your stupid fucking pecs just broke my good one!”
“Want me to kiss it?”  Din asks—quickly, almost like he can’t help himself, and the snarky tone of it through the modulator coupled with the throbbing pain makes you grit your teeth.
“I used to love your body,” you lift your head and growl up at him while you cradle your swollen claw.  “Why did you take that from me?”
“Give me your hand,” he says calmly, holding his palm out for you.
“No,” you spit, the pain making you stubborn and resistant to anything you don’t immediately offer yourself, but he’s not impressed.  Din easily catches your elbow and brings it up, his other hand gently lacing through your fingers even as you try in vain to pull it away.  “Stop it—”
He completely ignores you and looks back over his shoulder at the kid, dwarfed by the tall grass and continuing to hop around behind what will likely be his lunch, before the helmet turns back to you.  “Eyes closed.”
“This isn’t fucking funn—”
“Close your eyes,” he tells you once more.  “Don’t open them.”
You take a deep breath and grind your teeth, not wanting to be treated like a baby.  It irks you that he’s dedicating so much time and effort into just infantilizing you and your very real pain.  Though, the pain is so real that it makes it almost impossible to express the sentiment—it comes out sounding childishly short and bratty.  “It hurts.”
“I know,” is all he says, soft and lilting and quite possibly as gentle as you’ve ever heard him.  “Close your eyes, sweet girl.”
His tone of voice is the only thing that compels you to listen.  You finally do as he says and flutter your eyes shut, overly aware of the hard grimace on your face now that you can’t see anything.  One of his hands releases you while keeping your numb fingers laced between his, and then a few seconds pass, before you suddenly feel soft lips pressing against your knuckle.
You hiss and tighten up on instinct, more in fear of the pain than the pain itself, but he holds your hand steady as he carefully trails gentle presses of his lips against your knuckles.  After a moment, you breathe out shakily, your eyebrows lifting just slightly at the sensation—before his mouth opens and his warm tongue glides delicately across your sensitive skin.
You gasp and your fingers twitch in between his, suddenly able to move again.  They knock against cool metal as his tongue slowly drags down the valleys between your knuckles—but then Din abruptly drops your hand at the sudden sound of sunshine giggles coming from afar.  Your eyes pop open just as his helmet is yanked down over his jaw once more.
“Let’s…”  He clears his throat through the modulator, taking a small step back.  “Let’s go again.”
***
You collapse down into a pitiful little pile on the grass, trying to catch your breath.  This is ridiculous.  You somehow have tender bruises all over your body and yet you’re the only one who’s done any sort of hitting whatsoever.
“That’s fine, we can take a break,” Din says gruffly from above you, but you’re too tired to even comment on the sarcasm.  You just groan, flopping down flat on your back while he sits in the grass next to you and silently waits for you to start breathing normally again.
“I hate this,” you pant, resting your numb hands against your forehead and squinting against the late afternoon sun.  “I don’t like this.  My body hurts and I barely did anything.”
“You’re good at it,” Din is quick to respond, and the blunt sincerity in his voice takes you aback, making you glance over at him in shock.  “I know,” he nods once the beskar turns and he sees the look on your face, “I didn’t expect it either.”
His tendency to compliment you while simultaneously insulting you doesn’t go unnoticed, but if anything, you decide to take it as a testament to his honesty and comfort in your presence.  Clearly he’d have no issue telling you if you were terrible at this.
Instead of responding, you lace your fingers behind your head and continue to just lay there, closing your eyes against the warm sunshine.  It’s gorgeous here, you get why this planet is renown throughout the galaxy.  Perfect weather, stunningly green rolling hills for miles, the gentle breeze dancing through the tall grass, brilliant white clouds suspended against a beautiful blue backdrop.  The only thing that’s missing is—
“When can we go see the ocean?”  You blurt up at the sky, unable to stop the words before they’re out of your mouth.
“What ocean?”  Comes tiredly through the modulator, monotone and filtered as he shuffles into a more comfortable position.
“Any of them,” you immediately respond, shrugging your shoulders against the grass.  “The closest one.  I’m not picky.”
“…Naboo doesn’t have any oceans,” Din tells you blankly.
You startle slightly, jerking your head over at him.  “What?  But—but I saw it through the transparisteel when we dropped.  This whole planet is practically covered in water.”
“It is,” he agrees with a tilt of his helmet, following you with the visor as you finally scramble to sit yourself upright.  “But it’s all one big… body of water.  Locals call it the Abyss, it stretches across the entire planet through a system of underground caves and tunnels.  It only surfaces as rivers and lakes and swamplands, though.  No ocean.  Not really.”
“Oh.”  It’s blank, but it’s… lacking.  The sun glinting against metal gives you an excuse to subtly turn your head away from him, and you hold back your sigh of disappointment.
“What’s the matter?”  He grunts after a moment, somehow succeeding in sounding mildly disinterested while still bothering to ask.  He props his knee upright to rest his elbow on it, apparently able to read you better than ever as well.
“Nothing,” you say on instinct and shake your head, already knowing it’s dumb.  You’re being dumb, there’ll be other planets with oceans—you just haven’t had the opportunity to go to one yet.
Din doesn’t say anything after that, but he also keeps the helmet subtly turned towards you, like he’s just… waiting.  The quiet almost doesn’t sound quiet anymore, not when there’s such a loud unspoken question still lingering in it.
“It’s just,” you say after a moment, trying to smile, but it doesn’t feel real.  It’s nothing more than a movement your mouth makes and it feels at odds with the mild disappointment you’re trying to hide.  “I used to be a moisture farmer.  Back on Arvala-7, where we first met.”
His continued silence tells you nothing.  You don’t know whether he’s confused and you should elaborate, whether he understands and doesn’t need an explanation, whether he’s interested or disinterested.  Nothing.  So after another few more seconds of nothing, you decide to keep going.
“There's something about water that just… hits different when you spend your entire life on a planet without any,” you say quietly, picking at a few blades of grass by your knees instead of looking at him.  “When I was a little girl, I used to think it was as rare in the rest of the galaxy as it was where I was born.  A limited resource you had to farm from the atmosphere to drink, because it didn’t occur naturally in liquid form.  It was… valuable.  Delicate.  Crystal clear—never saw more than a few dozen gallons of it at a time.  Something to be cherished.  Something you’d never want to waste even just dipping your hand into, because the dirt on your skin would contaminate it.”
You smile once more, but this time it feels a little bit better.  “You know… the first shower I took on the Crest the day I left that Maker-forsaken planet was the first time I ever felt my hair get wet.  We only ever had sonic showers on Arvala-7.”  And stars, the memory of it makes you want to shudder.  Ultrasonic waves vibrating the dirt and sweat off your body sounds a lot more thorough than it actually is.  You never felt truly clean until you were soaking wet on the Crest with shampoo in your hair, giggling like a child in the fresher while you made yourself a soapy little beard.
It springboards into another memory—the moment you first reached for a towel after showering, catching a glimpse of your hands and startling at the sight of your wrinkled, pruny fingertips.  You’d never heard of such a phenomena before that point.  You thought you’d asked Kuiil about everything, but to be entirely fair, he might not have even realized it happened, not from the leathery texture of his xenospecies’ skin.  The questions he did answer for you were plenty though, and you suddenly remember something he said to you years ago that was so jarring and unexpected that it’s stuck with you to this day.
“Kuiil told me once that water was loud,” you suddenly hear yourself say, and though your soft laugh is nostalgic and sincere, you don’t know why, but you instantly tear up as soon as the words leave your mouth.  “Loud.  How could—could water be loud?  What… what noise would it make?”
You sniff and continue to pick at the grass, a bit more vigorously this time, purposefully keeping your eyes down and blinking quickly.  “He said… he said streams and brooks… b-bubble.  They bubble.  And rain… rain is like static—like white noise, but… natural.  Not generated by a machine.  He said the ocean is the loudest, though.  It roars.  It’s powerful.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat and glancing up, you try to distract yourself from the memory of your close friend by looking out at the wavy grass, trying to see if you can spot the kid being dwarfed by it.  You can’t, not from this low angle, but you can still hear him playing happily in the distance.
“I’ve seen all the others now, thanks to you,” you confess quietly.  “Rain, rivers, lakes—but I always wanted to see an ocean.  A big, scary one, where the sound would just be… deafening.  Water, tons of it, crashing up against rocks and filling the air with mist.  Used to dream about them.  Wanted to see something I used to think was rare fill my entire field of view.  Wanted to see something I always thought was precious turn into something formidable.”
Din continues staring silently at you through your peripheral while you keep picking at the grass absently.
“I just—I don’t know.”  You finally look over at him and sigh, smiling softly and shrugging your shoulders.  “I just always dreamed of a place where I could go, a place where I could open my eyes and all I’d be able to see—all I could hear—was water.”
You stop talking after that, having run out of things to say and realizing you probably shared a little too much without ever being prompted.  The sunlight is gentle and easy, however, and it encourages you to close your eyes and just breathe, letting silent, eternal gratitude to the man next to you fill you.  You’d never know any sun that isn’t harsh, you’d never know the greenness of the tall grass in this sprawling field had he not found you, given you a chance to tag along the galaxy with him and his carnivorous little sidekick.
The sun begins making you sleepy the more you sit here in the middle of paradise, eyes closed and tasting the gorgeous air in your lungs.  But eventually, Din stands up and steps in front of you, opening both of his bare palms towards the setting sky and bouncing them up and down a few times.  “Up.  Come on.  I’ll teach you how to throw an uppercut before nightfall.”
You groan but lift your hands in his direction all the same, trying not to wince while you make grabby fingers at him, your knuckles slightly bruised and red.  He sighs and wraps his hands purposefully around your elbows, urging you up as he takes a few steps backwards.
It’s awkward.  You’re still feeling lazy and droopy-eyed, and the cool shadow he casts makes you even more sleepy.  You think he’s going to help more than you have to pull yourself up, and he clearly thinks he’s there to be your platform instead of your forklift.  What results is just you being dragged uselessly by your arms in front of him, until your torso and legs are stretched in an uncomfortable J-shape on the ground and your forehead bumps into his lower tummy.
He stops and holds you there, before grunting out, “Use your feet.”
“Just let me fall,” you tell him, your lips brushing against the dark fabric while your shoulders and spine pull tight at this angle.  “Just leave me here like this.”
The sigh he makes above you feels like he puts his whole entire being into it.  Din leaves you propped up against him for a second while he grumbles and readjusts his hold further up near your shoulders, before he maneuvers you until you’re gently settling down on your knees in the grass.
You think (hope) he’s going to release you and let you take a nap, but then you gasp when he shifts and the toe of his boot suddenly wedges itself between your closed thighs.  He lifts up on your arms just slightly, enough to take the weight off your knees so he can swipe his foot out and kick one of them open, before plopping you back down again and letting you go.
Up until that point, you’d been good.  You were content with being boneless for him and seeing how he’d deal, but then he gracefully crouches down in front of you and wraps one powerful arm around your back, hugging you tight to his chest.  Din’s open thighs frame your kneeling figure and you can feel his cock pressed against your tummy from this angle, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
For some reason, he decides to take this next part slow.  Maybe it’s because he can probably feel the way your heart is starting to kick up against his unarmored chest right now, but he drags it out.  Broad shoulder dropping and his helmet finding a home in the crook of your neck, Din braces you to his chest with one arm while the other slithers down the curve of your ass and then under—his forearm pressing firmly between your cheeks and then his open palm flattening tight along the length of your pussy from behind.
You moan softly next to the helmet while he works the thick muscles in his thighs to gradually lift you both from the ground.  Maker, the tips of his fingers are curved hard against your slit through your pants while he rises, pulling you up until gravity causes your thighs to slowly meet around his hand and your legs to dangle.
The feat of strength turns you on just as much as his choice of positioning does.  Fuck, you know you’re not the lightest person in the galaxy, but Din carefully sets you down on your feet without even so much as a grunt of effort, his hand staying tucked tight between your legs for longer than necessary.  Biting your lip and pressing your face into his shoulder does nothing to stop the quiet whimper you make when he decides to grind his strong fingers up into you just a bit.
“Din,” you whisper, wanting to melt into him, but then he’s instantly ripping his hand away and taking a step back.
You nearly fall over at the sudden lack of support after relying solely on him for it for so long, but you don’t even have enough time to open your mouth in upset.  There’s just a split second before a green blur bursts through the tall grass with a squeal and trips over the baggy potato sack around his body.
It’s like it happens in slow motion.  You both watch as he flies forward, skidding more than once on the ground and then landing face-down on your shoe, the little thump on your foot feeling so adorably anticlimactic after all the buildup.
Nobody moves for a second, except for the way your eyes flicker up at the visor currently tilted towards the ground.  You can tell Din is just holding his breath, just waiting to see if—
A hiccup.  You see broad shoulders tighten under the dark fabric, and then a sudden piercing wail is released against your shoe.
“Shit,” Din curses, already scooping the little thing up and bouncing him slightly to pacify him.  You bite your lip against the way his ears flop from the movement and he screams even louder.  “Hey hey hey, stop.  Stop it.  Stop crying.”
“Uh oh!  Where’d your little friend go?”  You ask while Din immediately turns the kid around to face you, your voice pitched soft and high in your register as you step closer.  “Did you eat him already?”
He just shudders out a cry, probably an affirmative, his mouth dropping and his little teeth peeking through while he sobs and his giant eyes well with tears.
“Shit,” Din curses again, this time in defeat, but you won’t give up that easy.
“Hey—hey goose, wanna see me beat your daddy up?”  You ask, lightly booping the little bump of his nose.  “Huh?  Wanna see me fight?”  You pull your top lip up into a ridiculous little snarl and flex your arms threateningly, and the sobs suddenly stutter to a stop within a few breaths.  “Op, yep.  See—he knows I’ll kick your ass, Din, he just got scared.”
“Please,” the modulator pfftts quietly, but the kid just blinks at you while you keep growling.
“I’ll hurt him real bad,” you promise him, putting your fists up in front of you and bouncing your weight back and forth like a prized boxing champ.  “I’ll, uh…” your list of trash talk repertoire is admittedly rather short, and both of them wait in silence for you to figure it out, the bigger one a lot less entertained than his miniature counterpart.  “I’ll punch him just.  So hard.  So hard that… it’ll bruise.  Yeah—I’ll make him bleed underneath his skin.”
“No, this is good, keep going,” Din encourages after a moment of awkward silence.  “Maybe you’ll be able to find your way there at some point.”
You ignore him, bobbing and ducking and then popping him one good in the shoulder with an accompanying vocal sound effect—except you quickly jerk your hand away and shake your wrist out, staring up at the helmet like he deeply offended you and mouthing, “Ow.”
A smile.  The smallest ghost of one, but you see it on the kid’s teeny green mouth when you flick your eyes down to him.
So, Din spends the rest of the lingering daylight teaching you the proper uppercut technique while he cradles an adorable little bug-eyed baby in one arm.  You keep making faces at him while throwing your fist up against his dad’s extended, downturned palm, until he finally starts giggling again.
***
Whelp, turns out you’re a fucking idiot.  Or maybe just a selfish bitch, either way.  Not a good look.
You thought, from the way the lovely afternoon went, that you were getting better at reading Din.  Knowing when to joke around, when to keep pushing, and when to stop talking, all from just his body posture and tone of voice alone.  But you’re also an idiot, as you’ve already established.
As you three headed back to the Crest through the dusky twilight evening, you remember telling Din that if there weren’t any oceans on Naboo, then you’ll at least be able to sleep in a bed on this planet.  A real one, one with a—oh stars, an actual mattress.  The word alone sent shivers down your spine, and the baby cooed while blinking his eyes slowly, well on his way to being tuckered out from the long day outside.
You don’t remember Din directly responding, but then again, that isn’t really all that rare in the grand scheme.  Granted, he was arguably more talkative today than ever before, and he did get a little bit quieter after that, but still, you couldn’t have known.  Only an incredibly hyper-observant person would’ve noticed in the moment—you’re lucky you can even recall this much in hindsight.
Though, this next part should’ve been more of a direct giveaway.  Once you were in the Crest, he put his armor back on.
You still didn’t think.  It’s such a normal thing, the beskar fitting tight to magnetic plates around his shoulders, thighs, and chest.  It’s normal, he wears it all the time.  Having him walking around in broad daylight sans armor and gloves today was odd, that was the outlier.
He flew the vessel to the nearest town, a quaint little village on the edge of a gorgeously full forest.  The ride was as gentle as possible—you were feeling soft and decided to hold the baby as he drifted off instead of placing him in the quiet darkness of his cradle.  The ears tend to make things a bit awkward, but after months of practice with it, you’re now a pro at rocking the little guy to sleep in your arms.
Din’s continued silence didn’t bother you—or really even register, considering you were trying to be quiet as well.  He slung your go-bag around his shoulder and pressed a few buttons on his vambrace to set the kid’s sphere protocols to follow behind him, before pressing a gloved palm to your lower back and leading you down the ramp, the sleepy baby tucked tight into your arms.
There were people in the village mingling while you three walked down the cobblestone path to the nearest inn, giving your ragtag group double-takes as you passed.  The innkeeper, however, was blind.  Not only did you not receive the same terrified courtesy the barkeep on Canto Bight had afforded you before, but he was clearly used to spotting and swindling newcomers, sightless or not.
“Only room left’s a suite,” he drawled, the cloudy whites of his pupils hovering just between your left shoulder and Mando’s right pauldron.  “Five hundred credits a night.”
The color drained from your face, your heart doing a giant flip in your chest and completely fucking up the landing.  You turned to Mando to reassure him that absolutely nothing about this was necessary, but he was already dropping the ridiculous amount of credits on the desk without a single word.
That should’ve been the nail in the coffin, to be honest.  His immediate willingness to hand over that many credits without the slightest protest, grumble, or sigh was the kicker—that’s how you should’ve known something wasn’t right.  He didn’t even allow you to split the cost when you offered to reimburse him on the way to the room.
But again.  You’re an idiot, so.
At least the suite is gorgeous.  Slightly old-fashioned and moonlit enough to skip even flicking the lights on, illuminated by large open windows with views of the village streets and sprawling mountains and forest beyond.  Everything inside is either cream or white, so clean and soft, and being able to feel the breeze billowing through the gauzy curtains is just.  After months of traveling in that enclosed ship, it’s restorative.  Almost nothing in here is made of metal.
So it’s not until right now—almost immediately after you settled the kid down into the incredibly large guest bed and walked into the master bedroom to find Mando sitting perfectly still on the edge of the mattress—now something feels off.  He looks so out of place as you quietly snap the door shut behind you.  The enormous floor to ceiling window decorating the far side of the room bathes him in pale light, highlights the blaster marks and bits of dirt clinging to the beskar as he sits on the bed.
“You’re going to get the sheets all dirty,” you, an idiot, tell him, your voice barely above a murmur.  “Take off your—”
“I can’t,” he rushes, though he jumps up from the mattress all the same.  You snap your mouth shut and freeze.  “It’s safe here but it’s… it’s still not a good idea, not if I want to sleep.  Not with people around, and all these… windows.”
The words send you reeling.  You had no idea, you thought… “Oh.  I’m sorry, that—”
You immediately go silent, feeling absolutely fucking awful.  You didn’t think.  All you could think about was that bed underneath you, and you maybe… blindfolded in some way?  And then of course, him, in it—completely naked, helmet off, and laying next to you.
“You’re okay,” Mando tells you with a shrug, not sounding like… anything.  He looks like he’s about to say something else—his chestplate lifts with an inhale as he turns to you, but then seems to stop right as he’s about to speak.
“Shit—please sit on the bed, I don’t care if you’re dirty,” you quickly say, just as he blurts out, “You can still take your clothes off though.”
You blink at him for a second, not sure you heard him right.  “…What did y—”
“You can, uh.”  His voice is soft.  “I can… lay down.  On top of the sheets.  In my armor, just like this, and then you can take your clothes off and just.  Rub up on me a little bit.  If you want.”
A shudder quite suddenly rockets down your spine at the tone of his voice, the quiet, slightly hesitant murmur through the modulator.  The gulp you take is audible through the room, the only other sound being the closest trees rustling in the breeze outside.  The spread curtains dance with it, but they’re too sheer and light to make a noise.  “O-Okay.”
“Yeah?”  He asks lowly, and you quickly nod.
“Yeah,” you whisper, your body beginning to tingle, “sit—sit back down.”
He goes to move but then abruptly stops, and you hold your breath while you watch the visor jerk just a fraction to pin you in place.  Something instantly feels… different about him, a silent shift taking place within just a singular moment.  Like he all of a sudden realized that he didn’t actually like that very much.
Instead of acquiescing, Mando slowly steps in front of you, straightening up to his full height and absolutely dwarfing you with it, and your palms start to sweat.  Maker, when he speaks, it sends shivers down your body and the last thing you hear in his voice is hesitation.
“Take off your clothes,” he tells you, a dangerous edge to his soft tone.  The quiet dominance in it feels like the floor beneath you rumbles from it.
On instinct, your eyes flick over his shoulder to the open window and the village outside.  It’s barely been a few hours since sundown—townspeople are strolling down winding streets in the distance, ghostly moonlight mixes with the warm glow from large oil lamps lining the pubs and street corners.
You look back at him barely a split second later as he stands there in front of you, waiting.
You startle and immediately move to grab at the hem of your shirt, and your fingers unintentionally tremble as they start to pull it up. 
“Stop.”
His voice breaks through the silence, the modulated order halting your movements immediately.  You blink up at him, letting your shirt drop back down again, and Mando takes a second to look back at you, studying you from under the beskar.
“Go stand by the window,” he suddenly says, lazily tilting the helmet to gesture at it.
Your blood pounds in your ears during the still moments following, the thrill of it making you nearly go deaf for a second.  After you recover from the visceral heatwave that rockets through you, you slowly walk over to the window and then turn your back on the ballooning curtains to look at him.  The beskar is still pinned to you over his shoulder, though the rest of his body hasn’t moved.
“Turn around,” he tells you, and you shakily do as he says, rotating to face the open window.  You’re close enough to make out people’s expressions from here—friends mingling as they stroll down the sidewalk, their mouths moving but their voices and laughter muted at this distance.  An outdoor restaurant serving local cuisine to patrons and out-of-towners, a violinist and cellist performing a silent duet on the street corner.
There’s shuffling behind you.  The creak of the bedframe as he lowers himself on it and moves around, before eventually coming to a rest in what you assume is a comfortable position.
“You can keep going,” eventually comes his filtered voice from the bed.
Your eyelashes dip and flutter as more hot sparks of arousal kindle deep in your floor muscles.  Lifting your shirt up over your head has never felt like such high stakes before, but even as the fabric falls to the ground, your gaze continuously searches for anyone outside who may catch a glimpse.  Though, you’re not sure if it’s in dread or some kind of sick excitement.
The breeze hardens your nipples while you work at your pants, and the hair on your arms stands up when you remember who’s behind you, silently watching you get turned on by this.  Along with your underwear, your pants are pushed down your thighs, but instead of moving back from the pool around your ankles, you take a purposeful step forward towards the open window.
“Fuck—you dirty little thing,” you hear him breathe out, and a shiver rolls through you.  “Tell me how many people you can see right now, count them.”
You try your best, but give up halfway through and provide a rough estimate.  “F-Fifteen.”
“Scanner says seventeen from here,” Mando challenges lowly.  “Seventeen pairs of eyes that can look up any second and see your naked body.  Stripped bare, shaking, vulnerable.  Your gorgeous fucking tits.”
As hard as your teeth dig into your bottom lip at the rasp through the modulator, your nails dig into your palms even harder.  Still, you don’t move, and the open drapes flick and brush against your thighs as you hold there, the gentle wind doing absolutely nothing to cool your flushed skin down.
And oh, he waits.  He’s good about that, especially when he can probably read your infrared signature through the helmet right now.  You’re surprised you haven’t outright blinded him by how white-hot your body feels.  But after what feels like a small eternity, he eventually murmurs, “Come over here.”
Once you turn around and see the way he’s just laying back on the bed, relaxing and enchanted with the show, it’s a miracle you don’t trip on anything with how quickly you hurry towards him.  You’re already standing next to the edge of the mattress by the time you even register his body is subtly tilted so that his boots are hanging purposefully off the side of it.
Regardless of the hard dominance he’s exhibiting, the symbolic gesture somehow feels like it flips a switch inside you and lights up pure, aching adoration for him.  But against every instinct screaming at you to just scramble on top of him and show him how much you appreciate his thoughtfulness, you wait.  You wait for him to tell you what to do.
His glove lifts, comes up to gently touch the side of your face and cradle your jaw, and you have to clamp your hands together to stop yourself from reaching for him.
“Are you wet?”  Mando murmurs, sounding like his lips barely even brush against each other when they move under the beskar.  You don’t trust yourself to say anything without it turning into a desperate plea, so you just close your eyes and jerk your head in a nod, feeling your cheek graze against the leather on his palm with the movement.  It’s hard to swallow when your mouth feels so dry, and he lets you just suffer there and tremble for him a little while longer, letting out a quiet hum through the modulator as his thumb carefully rides the line of your cheekbone.
Maker, where does all this fucking patience come from?  Under normal circumstances, Mando is probably one of the most impatient people you’ve ever met, and yet.  It’s like he stores it all up.  Hoards it and refuses to dip into it most of the time—perfectly content to have a quick temper in most interactions, if only so that he can keep it handy for moments like this.  If only so he can have a seemingly endless supply of patience to sustain him while your average-sized stockpile is gradually and inevitably being depleted.
“You want to get up here with me?”  He asks quietly, and stars, that’s still not a directive, no matter how much it could casually imply one.  The ridiculous thing is—he never even told you this was expected of you.  Not once did he tell you to follow his words like they're gospel, not once did he say there was something wrong with speaking directly to him without prompting, or acting without explicit instruction.  He never even implied anything like that at all, but you still hold your body completely rigid as you jerk a nod against his palm once more.
Stars, it just isn’t fair.  He doesn’t look any different from how he looks every single day—there’s no patch of golden skin to tease you, beskar is covering him head to toe, but you’re hotter for him than you think you’ve ever been.  He’s stretched out long on the bed, a portion of him darkened by your silhouette but the rest bathed in gorgeous moonlight, breathing slow as he takes you in.  You stare silently at the visor, and for some reason, you—you’re quite suddenly struck with how gorgeous he could secretly be under there and you’ll just… you’ll never know.  You know his hair is thick and dark, you know the softness of his mouth, the sunkissed color of his skin, the prominent nose and straight teeth on the rare but blissful occasions he’d let you kiss him.  His eyes, though.  They could be any color.  Your credits have been on brown for a while, but the thought of you not knowing for sure… the thought of you actually having to ask him something like that is just—it makes you ache to touch him even more.  To give him something tangible at least, when you know the only way to ever have a true visual connection with him is with a dark visor between you.
You try to let the sentiment transfer through your needy expression, hoping he can read it from there.  His cock is hard—you can see it in your peripheral, pressing up against the dark fabric of his pants, but it’s like you’re the only one who notices.  He’s still admiring your face, or fuck, maybe he’s looking at your body—you can never tell for sure, but regardless, you stare purposefully at wherever you think his eyes ought to be, silently pleading with him and starting to get desperate.
Finally—fucking finally, the helmet rocks to the side just slightly, just the smallest tilt of his head towards his body, but the nonverbal invitation is enough.  Air you didn’t realize was even in your lungs suddenly whooshes out of you as you all but launch forwards onto the mattress to try and climb on top of him.
—Except, then his hand quickly drops from your face to press firm against your thighs, blocking the way your far leg tries to lift to swing over him in a straddle.  Disappointment crashes through you with an audible whimper and you start to panic a little bit as you shakily plant both knees back on the bed, wondering what you possibly did wrong.  Was it because he didn’t specifically say it was okay?  Was he just testing your obedience?
The beskar vambrace feels cool against your burning skin, and you try not to let the trembling of your body manifest itself in your breathing as Mando lazily drags his glove along your thighs.  Neither one of you says anything as he eventually trails his hand back and around, leather fingers coming to a rest between your legs while his thumb rides high, just under the curve of your ass.
And then he slowly starts pulling, before he gradually leads the leg closest to him up and over his body instead, until you’re settling into a straddle on top of his hips.  Backwards.
Everything in you shudders violently as both gloves gently trail up the length of your naked back, letting you brace your hands on the beskar strapped to his thighs and settle on top of him.
“Look at that,” he hums, letting his hands fall back down to the meat of your ass, grabbing handfuls of it and squeezing hard enough to make you bite back a gasp.  “Fucking pretty.  Pretty girl.  Stars, I fucking love looking at you, know that?”
The praise makes you mewl quietly and spread your knees even further, dropping your hips down until the underside of his cock presses up tight into your aching pussy.  You arch your back and walk your hands forward just a bit, just until you’re holding onto his knees and you have the right angle to start slowly rocking your body back and forth.
“Maker,” you whisper, your head tipping back while you drag your pussy against his pulsing erection, and his hands keep massaging your ass while the words start falling out of you now that you released the floodgate.  “Maker, I love your body.  So big, and—and strong.  Fucking hard, thick cock.  Fuck, I love your cock.  I love how fucking hard you get—”
“Bend over,” Mando breathes out behind you, his hands suddenly releasing fistfuls of your ass to grab around your hips and bring you to a stop.  “Fuck, keep talking like that, but show me your—just let me… let me look at it.”
Your heart slams against your sternum, your clit pulsing against the hard ridge of his cock, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.  Slowly, you bend your upper body over until your tummy lays flat along the cool beskar shielding his thighs and your tits are pressed against his kneecaps.  Your arms are long enough to rest your hands on his ankles like this, and your thighs are spread wide to keep your cunt pushed up against his cock.  But stars, you know he has a perfect view right now.  The slick lips of your pussy smearing against his dark pants, both holes on full display for him in the moonlight.
“Keep—Keep talking,” Mando reminds you after a moment, sounding painfully turned on while his cock jumps against your clit.  “Keep going.  Use it, get yourself off.  Let me watch.”
“Fuck, I love your cock,” you hear yourself repeat, breathless and needy as your hips start grinding down against him once more, the words coming from you without giving them any thought whatsoever.  He grunts and pushes it up for you, letting you get at it easier.  “I think about it all the time.  Think about the first time I felt it, how you were already rock fucking hard for me when I touched you.  You came so quick, right in my hand, in your pants—it was so fucking hot.”
“I’d had—” he grits out in his defense, “—shit, I’d had a… a rough day, and your hands were.  Fuck, s-soft, and—”
“Maybe,” you concede, biting your lip and closing your eyes against the swirling pleasure spreading hot through your body, the heat that burns you alive hearing the familiar warble through the modulator when he’s starting to lose himself in pleasure.  “Or maybe it was because you were half-conscious with a brand new scar on your back.”
His filtered groan rolls down your spine and his cock pulses hard against your cunt through the fabric of his pants, making you spasm in delight.  Fuck, your head drops down completely, just dragging yourself back and forth on top of him as you chase your orgasm like this.  Shameless—your ass flexing in front of him with every roll of your hips, your lower muscles fluttering with every drag against his cock.
“Fuck—fuck, let me touch your asshole,” Mando whispers suddenly, lifting himself up on one elbow and dragging the other hand up the curve of your cheek.  “Just—just a little bit, I won’t pu—”
“Oh stars above, fucking please,” you gasp against one of his legs, nearly jerking back against his hand as your pussy fucking leaks through his pants with it.  “I’ll let you do anything you want, you can—can put your thumb inside it—”
His other hand leaves you for a split second, and you think he’s taking his glove off, except then it swings down to crack hard against your ass, making you gasp and instantly go still for him on his lap.
The smooth leather covering the pad of his thumb carefully glides down your crevice, and you hold your breath until it finally brushes over the tight ring of muscle flexing for him.
“That all you’ll let me put in here?”  Mando asks quietly, and you let out a complete mess of a whimper, trying your best not to move under the bold touches.
You get another firm smack on the ass for being rendered mute for too long.  “Tell me,” he growls, rubbing his thumb against the vulnerable entrance while his cock throbs against your cunt.
“I’ll—I’ll let you do anything you want,” you moan once more, and stars, you can’t help it.  Your hips start to grind down against him even harder than before, and Mando curses as he slowly rides your movements with his hand.
“Dirty,” he grits out.  “Dirty girl.  You ever take it back here before?”  And stars, the way his cock drags against your pussy starts to make you lightheaded, how casually he’s talking about this while starting to circle his thumb around it and press firm against it.  Not hard enough to push inside, but enough to feel the natural resistance give just a bit.
“No,” you breathe, starting to pant while you work against him.  “Boys have tried.  But I’d let you.”
“Fuck,” he hisses, suddenly rocking his hips up against yours.  You nearly choke and your legs start to lock up, making your movements stunted.  “Fuck.  I bet you’d let me do it right fucking now, wouldn’t you?  Right here in front of this f-fucking window, where everyone can see?  Let me flip you over and stretch you out, and then fuck your tight little—virgi—”
“Maker, get your cock out,” you gasp, heat burning at your center and beginning to spread outwards.  It tingles hot through your lower abdomen and you start to get frantic, knowing you don’t have much time before your orgasm hits.  “Please, just let me ride it, let me cum on it—”
“No,” Mando immediately grunts, and you make a small sound of distress that quickly turns into a high-pitched mewl against his leg when the very tip of his thumb just barely breaches the haloed entrance.
“But—but I’m so wet,” you whisper, “oh stars, can’t you see it?  I’m dripping.  You could just slide it right in right now, I’d take it so fucking easy—”
He rips his hand away just long enough to smack your ass once again, hard enough to ring through the room and make you gasp.  “Quit.  You’ll take whatever the fuck you’re given and you’ll endure,” he snaps.  “Not here, not tonight.”
You bite back desperate protests.  He’d fuck you in a dark alleyway on Canto Bight but not here?  As if you haven’t already done so multiple times this evening, you immediately lament your stupid mouth and the thoughtless mattress comment.  You wish you could take it all back—you don’t care how nice this bed is, you want to sleep in anything he’ll fuck you in.  Nonetheless, your orgasm gallops forward and leaves your body struggling to keep up behind it—but Maker, you want so badly to feel him inside you when it finally hits.  You want to sink down on him and feel him break you open just as you start to cum.
“Oh fuck, please give me it,” you whine, sounding on the edge of delirium, the words pressed high and unintentional as your hands clutch at his legs.  “Oh Maker, please, please fuck me—fuck me in a real bed, please, just—fuck me right now and I swear I’ll sleep on fucking rocks for you every single night for the rest of m—”
A snarl rips through the modulator and he shoves your hips forward just enough, just enough to rip his waistband down—
You gasp in blinding relief and flip your head over your shoulder to watch, but then subtle movement catches in your peripheral.  You glance up just in time to see the doorknob slowly turning.
Thank your lucky stars you react on instinct alone, squealing and jumping off him before quickly shuffling under the covers.
“What the fu—” comes an enraged, filtered growl, metal clanking with how quickly he flips over to reach for you, but then he cuts off and the helmet whips to the door as it unlatches and slowly creaks open. 
The blankets are pulled tight under your chin as you shuffle down as far as possible, and though you can’t see the intruder from this angle, Mando is instantly reaching back to rip the pillow out from under the helmet and press it tight over his crotch, huffing out a sigh.
Soon, you’re able to spot one pointy little ear pop up, followed by the rest of the little gremlin scaling the treacherously tall comforter, pulling himself over the edge of the mattress with a determined three-finger hold and then doing a completely unnecessary little barrel roll once he’s on the level springtop.  The fact that it’s so fucking adorable just serves to irk you even more, and both of you silently watch the kid push himself up on two feet and then waddle slowly in between you two.
He finds a pillow he likes—one that happens to be placed directly in between you and his dad, before he settles himself down on it like a small bed on top of a much larger one.  The little stinker then flutters his abnormally giant eyes closed and seems to instantly fall back asleep.
There’s a few minutes where you just blink across from Mando, flicking your gaze between the chrome visor and the baby’s peaceful face.  Is this… is he serious right now?
“Were we being too loud?”  You eventually whisper, barely above a breath.  “Or is he just being purposefully annoying?”
He doesn’t answer you.  And, well, you suppose he has a point.  Regardless of why, it appears he's here now. 
You let out a slow breath and just try and relax, try and think beyond the flare of annoyance at the interruption, how close you were to feeling him fuck you into this mattress.  He’d still have the armor and helmet on, of course, but it would be just domestic enough to ruin you. 
But then again—you suppose this, if anything, is even more domestic.  Doing your best to calm your racing thoughts so you can eventually fall asleep directly across from him with his mildly aggravating, heartstealing little adopted kid snoring quietly between you.
Quite a while passes before you feel your eyelids growing heavy.  You spend almost the entire time studying every single inch of Mando while he faces you on the mattress.  The sharp angles and smooth curves of his helmet, concave in places but convex in others.  How fitting, you think.  To cover a man with a helmet just like him—sharp, smooth, contrasting, and deflective enough about what lies underneath to be reflective.
Then you find yourself thinking about what he’s hiding under it.  Once more.  You try to picture him, but it’s… it’s difficult.  You’re not used to translating things you’ve only touched into visual representations, it’s just not a skill you’ve ever needed to have handy.  And what about all the things you can’t, or haven’t been able to feel?  Freckles, or birthmarks?  Dimples?  Are his lashes long or short?  Do they stick out in a fringe when he clamps his eyes shut?  Does his nose scrunch up when he laughs?  Do his ears stick out?  Does he have wrinkles on his forehead, or around his eyes?
Maker, what color are they?
You continue to stare at the metal faceplate, blinking droopily at it but forcing yourself to stay awake just a bit longer.  Enjoy the feeling of the soft mattress underneath you while you still can, relaxing into the cool sheets and delaying your inevitable descent into dreams.  Savoring his extended presence here with you for as long as possible.
“Do you have brown eyes?”  You hear yourself murmur to him through the quiet darkness, lips barely touching and the words slurred from exhaustion.  You want to know.  You want to be able to color in the last paint-by-number of his face before you begin your work on the finer details.
Again, he doesn’t answer, and you figure he’s probably asleep.
5K notes ¡ View notes
kashimos-hajime ¡ 4 years ago
Text
no regrets (8/8) | r.b.
Tumblr media
summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.
WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k
a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh 
masterlist
crossposted on ao3 x
Tumblr media
Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.
I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.
What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.
You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.
Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care. 
I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.
Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.
im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I
Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.
I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.
Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.
I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up. 
Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time. 
I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that. 
wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.
Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.
Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.
My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.
I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but 
With love,
Rienr
You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.
You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.
They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.
“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.
“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms. 
“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”
“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”
“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”
Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.
When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.
You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.
Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone. 
“For your services to the Survey Corps.”
There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.
“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile. 
The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.
.
Distantly, he remembers flashes. 
Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.
How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.
He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.
How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.
When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.
“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”
Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted. 
Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.
Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.
The ring. You’re wearing it. You…
For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.
“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.
“So are you.” 
And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing. 
Maybe they are.
He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.
Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.
You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”
Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know. I know.” Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”
Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”
Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows. 
“Okay.”
When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it? 
It has to be. 
You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.
But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality. 
The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him. 
He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing. 
Why him?
As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.
“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”
“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”
“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”
And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.
Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.
Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.
Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.
And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.
“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”
The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.
“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”
And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.
.
Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.
There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up. 
Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.
Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks. 
For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.
Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.
.
Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field. 
It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.
Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.
He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.
“Eren… where are we?”
“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”
A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.
“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”
His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.
And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”
Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.
 Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.
“Marco! Sasha!”
Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.
He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—
“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.
Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.
I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop. 
Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—
You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.
Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.
He’s gone.
A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.
“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.
Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.” 
His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.
Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you. 
“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”
Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything. 
You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.
He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.
It’s over.
The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.
Just like he promised.
You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.
[THREE YEARS LATER]
Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing. 
Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner. 
How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.
And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.
Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.
But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.
Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach. 
Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.
Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.
You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.
Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.
“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.” He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years. 
“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.
A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.
“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”
“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.
“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.
“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”
“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.
“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.
Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.
Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.
“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise. 
“To protect the both of us,” you explain.
“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”
You nod. “Listen to Levi.” 
“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”
This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.
As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.
And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.
“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.
So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.
Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.
Hope for the future, and all that.
She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.
“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”
“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”
“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”
You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.
Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.
“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.” 
Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off. 
You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.
If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.
You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.
Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.
“You guys okay?”
“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you. 
“I think it’s charming.”
She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head. 
“Soon may the Wellerman come…”
A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.
Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.
Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.
She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.
You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.
260 notes ¡ View notes
corysmiles ¡ 4 years ago
Note
(Friendly Giant au) One day after Wilbur is more comfortable with Ranboo touching him he goes to leave for the night like Tommy used to do but then Ranboo just gently squishes him between his hands like 'no it's cuddle time'
Boundaries
Friendly Giant AU
cw//language
(Anon I took this in a very angsty direction I apologize in advance also I rushed finishing this so I will go back and edit later I promise)
——————————
It was a couple months after Wilbur started coming to visit when Ranboo tried to make him stay. Wilbur still didn’t come every day- it was more like once or twice a week if anything- and he absolutely never stayed the whole night. On the nights he did come Tommy would walk him home around midnight which unfortunately meant he wasn’t around the rest of the night.
But Ranboo wished he would stay. He really wished he would stay. Every time he watched the still-cautious man leave his den he had to fight against every part of himself to not pull him back. He wasn’t part of his “family” yet...but he was pretty close.
So one night when Wilbur turned to leave Ranboo just couldn’t resist. He was tired and Tubbo was already curled up on his chest and he just couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want Tommy and Wilbur to leave...he wanted them in his hands.
Quickly, he slammed his hand down across the entrance and felt the two humans bump into his knuckles.
“Stay,” he yawned.
The two humans backed up from his hand but before they could get away he scooped them up and pulled them against his chest. The feeling of their small movements made his already jumbled thoughts even hazier, and vaguely he registered that he was purring.
“Hey! Let go,” Tommy yelped.
The small human pushed against his hands but Ranboo couldn’t bring himself to free them. They would leave if he let them go...
“Stop being a bitch! Wil’s freaking out man!” Tommy shouted and suddenly Ranboo’s head cleared.
With a gasp of realization he dropped the humans back down and watched as Wilbur curled up on himself. The man’s breaths came in short painful bursts making Ranboo’s heart scream. Meanwhile Tommy rubbed his back trying to calm him down.
He had done that. He hurt him. Ranboo wanted to run away, to leave and not be seen again by the small human.
He knew Wilbur didn’t like being touched and he still did it.
“-ay?” Tubbo asked. Ranboo only caught a little bit, but by the concerned expression of Tubbo’s face he could tell it was a question.
Tubbo carefully jumped off of Ranboo’s chest and approached his older brother, “What happened?”
“Nothing bad,” Tommy reassured, “Ranboo just had one of his moods and it freaked him out.”
“I’m so sorry...” Ranboo whispered.
“It’s fine,” Tommy snapped, “He’s just afraid still...this is hard for him yaknow.”
Ranboo’s ears twitched back in anguish. He had scared Wilbur...
Ranboo turned and gave Tommy a quick nod before pacing away into a deeper part of the den. He couldn’t bring himself to stay and watch the aftermath of what he did. He didn’t mean to scare him.
His feet carried him deeper and deeper into the dark cavern. It got to the point where he had to duck down under the dripping rock...he guessed he’d gotten taller again...great. When he finally stopped he was in front of the small River running through the rocks. The water spit at his feet making him shiver at the cold touch.
Slowly he knelt down next to water. Faintly he could see his own reflection on the ever-shifting surface. It was terrifying.
Sometimes he was able to forget just how different he was from the people he cared so much about, but at that moment, looking at himself in the river, he felt awful. Of course Wilbur was terrified of him, if he was the human he would be scared too. His lips barely covered his sharp teeth and his eyes were cat-like and predatory. Everything about him was monstrous- everything.
A couple minutes later his ears twitched back as light footsteps approached from behind.
“Hey big man,” Tubbo whispered, “You feeling okay?”
Ranboo kept his head down even when Tubbo had sat down beside him. He was so small... with Ranboo kneeling Tubbo barely even reached his foot.
“He’s okay you know. He went home with Tommy but he’s okay,” Tubbo said, filling the silence.
Ranboo hummed in acknowledgment but the reflection in the river told a completely different story. He was a monster and he had attacked a human. It was simple. He had scared him, and because of what he did Wilbur probably wouldn’t come back.
It hurt but he didn’t blame him.
“Boo come on look at me,” Tubbo begged, “Wil’s fine. It’s okay, let’s go back so we-“
“Stop!” Ranboo snapped and beside him Tubbo fell silent.
“Just...please stop Tubbo,” he whimpered, “I hurt him. I knew he hated me touching him and I did it anyway. I knew he didn’t trust me and I still hurt him...I’m a monster Tubbo.”
Tubbo frowned at his friend and climbed up onto his lap. Gently he patted Ranboo’s knee, “You’re not a monster Boo...you’re just different. It’s not a bad thing, itll just take Wilbur a little longer to be okay with it.”
“It’s because I’m a monster though,” Ranboo snapped, “I am and I know it. Wilbur is afraid of me Tommy barely trusts me and even you were scared when you first met me. I should have just stayed out of it and left you all alone.”
“And let me hang there till I died?” Tubbo snapped, “Let Tommy get fucking mauled or let Michael get eaten?”
Ranboo squinted at Tubbo who stood up with fury in his eyes.
“You really think it would have been better to let us die?”
“No that’s not what I-“
“That’s what would have happened if you didn’t help,” Tubbo snapped, “You’re not a fucking monster Ranboo.”
Ranboo opened his mouth to fight back until he noticed the tears forming in Tubbo’s eyes. The human desperately tried to wipe them off his face.
“Do you think we don’t care about you?” Tubbo asked.
Ranboo’s ears flattened against his head, “No that’s not what I-“
“Okay then stop acting like it’s bad that we met,” Tubbo said, “you’re my friend Ranboo. Your appearance isn’t going to turn me away anytime now.”
A sigh left Ranboo’s lips and slowly he let Tubbo crawl into his hands.
“I’m getting bigger you know...” he muttered after a moment.
Tubbo nodded, “I know.”
“Doesn’t that scare you?”
Tubbo shook his head and patted the palm of Ranboo’s hand, the fingers subconsciously moved to wrap around him.
“No, why would it?”
“I could hurt you,” Ranboo whispered, “I have no idea how much bigger I’ll get.”
Tubbo hummed in response and tilted his head at the giant, “So what? You’re already big, whats a little more height gonna do? It’s not like you’re suddenly gonna try to squish me big man.”
“Of course not I just...what if I can’t help it,” Ranboo sighed, “What if I don’t mean to hurt you and I still do...”
“Then I won’t be mad,” Tubbo shrugged, “And I know you wouldn’t hurt me. It doesn’t matter if we’re like this or I’m like the size of a fly to you, I trust you.”
“Tubbo you dont...I could kill you or- or seriously hurt you,” he whispered, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Boo...don’t worry about that now,” he sighed, “If we get to the point where you’re too big I’ll find a different way to be with you, but it’s not a problem now. You make me feel safe Ranboo.”
Ranboo squinted at Tubbo cautiously and watched as the small human wrapped his thumb in a hug. Slowly he brought him up to his face and let his heart have its fill. He was scared still...but he loved having Tubbo close.
“Come on big man you’re my pillow,” Tubbo laughed as he patted the tip of Ranboo’s nose.
Ranboo pressed his nose into the boy knocking him over, “Yeah...okay.”
154 notes ¡ View notes
nagito-kissmaeda ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Mr. Komaeda’s Lesson
THE FILTH ARRIVES
Summary: You should really proofread your assignments before submitting them... AKA: Professor Komaeda fucks you over his desk (literally my dream) Word count: 4258 Contains: she/her pronouns, explict sexual content, unsafe sex, professor/student relationships, gentle dom nagito (he’s very gentle i swear) Read on AO3  ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The soothing smell of camomile lemon tea wafts around the small office. The blinds are half open, casting the orange light of the setting sun across the smooth leaves of a peace lily that resides in a pot hanging in front of the heating unit. The warm air rocks it gently back and forth. The atmosphere in the room is light and pleasant, but it does nothing to ease your nerves. 
“Do you want some?” Professor Komaeda asks as he pours himself a cup of the aforementioned camomile lemon tea. He has a little teapot sitting on his desk, it’s very cute. 
You clear your throat, fidgeting in your seat, “No thank you, I’m fine.”
“Okay, let’s get started then, shall we?” 
You’ve been dreading this meeting for weeks now. Your professor had been very insistent that this wouldn’t be a discussion about the quality of your work, but more about what he could do to help you maintain focus in lectures. There was also a brief mention about your most recent assignment, he said that he wasn’t concerned, but did want to run through a few things with you. 
He was very polite about it, which makes the true nature of your distraction only more reprehensible. 
“So, first I want to start with a simple question. How are you doing?” 
“Uh, fine?”
He nods and takes a sip of his tea, “No problems outside of our classes? You don’t need to answer if you aren’t comfortable.”
“No i- uh. I’m fine outside of classes too.” You fidget again, twisting your hands in your lap, “I’ve been...tired? But that’s my fault, I stay up too late.” 
He hums thoughtfully and rests his chin on the palm of his hand, “Could that be having an affect on your focus? I can see that you have been distracted in our most recent lectures and just want to make sure it isn’t a fault of myself or my material.” He laughs a little to himself, “I know I can be a little boring sometimes.” 
Professor Komaeda is not boring. He’s probably the most engaging lecturer you’ve ever had, passionate about his subject matter and very enthusiastic about class participation. He also wears really tight trousers and has long dexterous fingers that you can't help imagining inside of your-
“I mean, being tired could be the problem?” A bold faced lie. 
“Well in that case there isn’t much more I can suggest than a good night's rest.” He gives you a long look that makes you squirm in your seat, “I only graduated a few years ago myself, I understand the urge to make the most of your day, but you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.” He takes another sip of his tea, a drop misses his mouth and rolls down his chin. He catches it with his thumb, which he then brings up to his lips and sucks. You swallow deeply, tearing your eyes from where his lips are meeting his skin. Your knee starts bouncing. Nerves. 
“Would it help if you sat a little closer to the front of the lecture hall?”
It wouldn’t. Especially not on warm days when he loosens his tie and undoes the first three buttons on his shirt. You spent a whole lecture transfixed on the dip of his collarbones once. Not great for your note taking, “maybe I’ll give that a go next week” you say. Another lie.
“Okay, try that out and let me know if it helps.” He gently sets down his teacup and starts working his white hair up into a bun. His fingers are so delicate as he combs through the strands, pulling his hair up and away from his pale throat, exposing the length of it to your hungry eyes-
A noise escapes from your mouth. Almost a whine, but not quite. Professor Komaeda doesn't say anything, but his intense eyes meet yours for just a moment. You clench your thighs together.
“Are you ready to talk about your assignment now?” He asks, picking the teacup again. It’s decorated with sunflowers, almost criminally cute, “No reason to be nervous. I want to make it clear that this matter hasn't had any affect on your grade, just some advice for next time.”
You nod shakily. Despite all of his reassurances, you are still very nervous. Partially because you wanted a good grade, partially because you had worked on that essay day and night with the intention of impressing him. So stupid. 
He gives you a pleasant smile and rifles through his desk for a moment, pulling out what you quickly recognise as a printed copy of your essay, “Take a look, i want to see if you can figure it out first.”
“Um...okay…” You skip past the title page and into the meat of the essay, reading through all of your points and making sure there weren't any obvious spelling mistakes. There wasn't anything that you could see, “Sorry...um...what page is it on?”
His teacup clinks when he sets it down again, leaning forward on his elbows and resting his chin on his hands. You can feel your heart fluttering in your chest, your palms are getting sweaty, “It’s on the title page actually. I’m surprised you didn't notice it.”
You shoot him a quizzical look and flip back to the first page. Your stomach plummets. 
Titles have never been your thing, summing up an entire essay in just a few words isn’t easy, so you usually use a placeholder right up until you submit it. You remember changing it, you remember triple checking it was changed before you emailed it through. But something must have gone wrong because in big bold capital letters, the title of you assignment reads: 
ESSAY SO GOOD PROFESSOR KOMAEDA WILL FUCK ME OVER HIS DESK 
Your hands are shaking, the edges of the paper crinkling under your tight grip. You are going to fail...you are going to be expelled...you are going to-
“Ah. I see you’ve realised your mistake, hm?”
Your head shoots up, forgetting for a moment that he is still sitting across from you. 
“Professor...I-I’m...obviously I’m…” you can’t get out a goddamn sentence, your mouth has all dried up, “I don’t even...I can’t…”
You are taken aback, when Professor Komaeda giggles. It’s a light little sound, he covers his mouth with a hand, “You are very bold, aren’t you?” 
“I….” 
“No need to worry, I’m not reporting this to the dean or anything like that. I see no reason to expel you over a silly little mistake like this one.”
“You...You dont want me to drop you class?”
He laughs again, you shrink under the intensity of his green eyes, “I’m not going to make you, no. If the situation isn’t going to make it even harder for you to focus during lectures, you can still come to class. I won't stop you, it is your choice.”
He is being remarkably cavalier about all of this, it’s almost unsettling, but you don't want to drop his class so you can't help being grateful, “Thank you so much, I...I promise i won't do this again.”
Professor Komaeda hums aloud, eyes half lidded as he looks at you from across the desk, “Won’t do what again?” he asks, though honestly its more of a purr, “Won’t think about me fucking you, or wont make the mistake of writing it down?”
Hearing the word fuck drop from that perfect mouth of his sends you into overdrive. Your thighs are clamped so tight together that your legs are shaking, you can feel yourself breathing hard, “I...uh...I....” you swallow, “I won't do...either?”
“There's no need to lie to me.” He breathes, standing up from his chair and rounding the desk. You can feel yourself quivering in his shadow, he towers over you. Your breath catches in your throat when one of his hands makes contact with your chin, slowly lifting your head up until you meet his eyes. His expression is positively hungry, “I want to make something very clear. This is your chance to leave, if you do we will never speak of this again. If you don’t, well…”
All you can do is stare at him, mouth going dry with realisation. 
“Your essay was very good, by the way.” He leans down until his nose is almost pressed against yours, you can smell the tea on his breath. You can feel the warmth of his skin, you can count his eyelashes, “Good enough that i’ll fuck you over my desk if you still want me to.”
In a moment of hungry lucidity, you grab him by the tie and tug his lips down to yours. Colliding in a positively ferocious kiss. You feel him laugh against your mouth before he slips his tongue in between your lips and traces your upper row of teeth, his tongue is wet and warm, your thighs are rubbing together as you grow desperate for any sort of friction. Professor Komaeda must be in a similar state, because he grabs you by the waist and tugs you up to your feet. Pressed firmly against him like this, you can feel the evidence of his arousal through his slacks, a moan escapes you when you feel his hips buck. 
He laughs again, pulling away from your mouth to press a hot kiss to the side of your throat. You feel his long fingers toying with the hemline of your skirt, slowly slipping up underneath it, “These pretty little things…” he whispers, tugging on the top of your thigh high stocking and releasing it with a snap, “do you wear them for me?”
There’s no point lying anymore. You can’t stop shaking, “I...yes…”
You feel him moan against your skin, sinking his teeth into the join between your neck and shoulder, “Did you really think I wouldn’t take notice? Of the way you undress me with your eyes in class, of these tiny little skirts you started wearing?” He grabs a handful of your ass and you squeal, “you’re so gorgeous. You could have anyone in that class if you wanted, but here you are with me-“ he grinds up against you, cock warm and hard through his slacks, “-I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this.”
His voice is so soft and gentle, even while he’s palming your ass and grinding his hips against yours, he still talks like he’s giving a lecture on historical literature. It’s hot, how easily he is able to maintain his composure while you are little more than a quivering mess beneath him, but still...you want to see him come undone.
You hear more than feel your knees colliding with the wooden floorboards. Professor Komaeda is unable to give little more than a surprised look before you have his slacks and boxers shoved halfway down his thighs and his cock in your mouth. He lets out a shocked little moan, burying his long fingers into your hair as his hips stutter forward. Now that was the reaction you wanted. 
“Oh...ohhhh-“ he whines, slowly moving himself in and out of your mouth as you tease his head with your tongue, “ahh...your mouth feels so good, angel.” 
You were not expecting him to call you angel. It’s like a bolt of lightning to your cunt, your hands jump up the dig deep into the meat of his thighs as you moan downright salaciously around his cock. 
“I can feel you moaning.” He whispers, “I can’t believe how much you’re enjoying this” you look up at him through your lashes and see his cheeks are red, his perfect lips are swollen from his biting them incessantly. You moan again just from the sight of him, he hisses and his hips cant forward deeper into your mouth, “wow. You...You really like doing this don’t you? Wrapping your perfect soft lips around my filthy cock?” 
Filthy? That makes your eyebrows jump. You could always tell that your professor had some sort of inferiority complex, but you didn't realise it was...this intense.
“S’pretty.” You managed to slur around him, “Tastes good.”
He laughs again, it explodes from his mouth and shakes his shoulders. Unbridled, almost wild. He grins down at you, “I’m sure it doesn’t taste as good at you.” He purrs, tucking your hair behind your ear, “get up on the desk.”
Well, you weren’t going to say no to that. You give his cock one last long lick before standing back up from the floor, just before you hoist yourself up on the table, Professor Komaeda grabs you by the wrist, “Panties off, please.”
You feel yourself turn crimson, but dutifully shimmy out of your panties and let them drop to the floor. He smiles at you, hands curling around your waist as he leans into your ear, “that’s my girl.” He whispers, and lifts you up onto his desk. His hands are cold on the bare skin of your thighs peeking out from the top of your stockings, your stomach twists and curls as he slowly edges your legs open, and drops to his knees between them.
“Oh my god…” you squeak, he’s staring up at you with a look that is downright sinful and he doesn’t break eye contact, even when one of those perfect fingers slips inside you, “agh!” 
He chuckles warmly, gently thrusting his finger in and out of you, “you’re so wet, angel...I can’t imagine why someone like me is making you so aroused, but I’m not complaining.” 
His finger curls inside of you, and your hips jolt, “Mmph! Pro-Professor I-“ 
He smiles saccharinely as a second finger pushes its way inside you, “Nagito.” He corrects, pressing a hot kiss to the inside of your thigh, “We’re well beyond the need for formality. Don’t you think?” You cover your mouth to muffle a squeal as he adds a third finger. Your knees are wobbling and you can barely breathe, he’s just sitting between your legs and grinning at you, “Now let’s see if you taste as good as i imagine, hm?”
He pulls your clit in between his lips and sucks. You have to bite down on your hand to keep yourself from screaming, “F-Fuck...Nagito...I--hng!” 
“It is after hours, you know.” He whispers, you can feel his breath on your cunt and you shiver, “There’s no reason for you to restrain yourself.” He licks your clit again and moans, “Haa...It may be selfish of me, but i want to hear you. If you’ll let me.”
“Oh god-” You hiss out when his tongue starts circling around you, “-keep doing that, and you’ll hear me alright.”
Nagito giggles and peers up at you, “Then I suppose I'll get back to work.” He hoists your thighs over his shoulders, and starts eating you out in earnest. You lean back on your elbows, and watch his soft white hair bob between your thighs as his tongue works it’s magic, he alternates between running the flat of his tongue up the length of you and focussing directly on your clit. Your toes are curling, mouth wide open with a constant stream of moans and whimpers that you have no hope of stopping. It feels so good, you had dreamt about this alone at night in your bed and even in those fantasies it hadn't felt this good. 
His fingers slip out of you, but before you even have a chance to complain, they are replaced with his tongue. You moan so loudly that it rumbles through your chest, your hips rise up to meet his mouth and his hands curl around the soft flesh of your thighs, tugging you even closer. He groans. The wet muscle is slowly thrusting in and out of you when he presses down firm on your clit with his thumb, “I--mmph...Nagito m’gonna cum…” your hips are grinding relentlessly up against his face and you can feel your hair sticking to your forehead with sweat. 
“Cum for me, angel.” He whispers, thumb rubbing your clit in brutal circles, “I want to feel you squeezing around my tongue.” 
You throw your head back in a howl as his tongue slips back inside, the desk rattling with the force of your quivering hips. You can hear the slick sounds his mouth is making against your cunt, the way he is panting and moaning just from the taste of you. The tightness in your stomach grows unbearable, then he curls his tongue upward, and it snaps. You see whiteness behind your eyes, thighs shaking with the intensity of it. You can feel the vibration of Nagito’s moan inside of you and his fingers dig tight into the meat of your thighs. He’s enjoying your orgasm almost as much as you are. 
When he finally pulls away from you, the lower half of his face is glistening with your wetness. He gives you a pleased smile, eyes half lidded as he brings his wet fingers up to his mouth and licks them clean, “I knew you would taste good.” He whispers, wiping the mouth with the back of his hand, “Think you can cum again, angel?”
Just watching him suck on his fingers is enough to get you going again, “Yeah, I definitely can.”
He laughs and stands up from the floor. His cock is flushed red and dripping, you suddenly realise he hadn't touched it that whole time, he must be painfully hard at this point. You lick your lips, you can't help it. He follows your line of sight and smiles, “Be a good girl and bend over the desk for me, please.” 
You slide down off the desk, ready to follow his orders but quickly stop yourself, “Oh. One second.”
“Hm?”
You grab the teapot from the desk and quickly rest it on the windowsill, “Sorry. That was a disaster waiting to happen.”
“Ah, yes. You’re right.” His hand slips up to your cheek, thumb resting on your lips. He smiles when you pull it into your mouth and suck, “I’ll have to thank you for saving my carpet. Unless you see any other hazards, i would still like to fuck you.”
That word again. It sounds doubly filthy when he says it, the way his lips mold around it is downright sinful. A shaky moan drops from your mouth as you turn around and do as he asks, your breasts are squished up against the sturdy wood, and the desk is a little too tall for you, your feet are dangling just above the floor. You’re shaking with anticpation, and it grows even worse when you feel the warmth of Nagito’s palm caressing your ass, “For my own peace of mind…” he whispers, his other hand running a finger up the length of your sex, “When do you graduate?”
You laugh, “It’s a little late for that, isn't it, Professor?” you feel his hand still on your ass and you clear your throat, “Uh, this is my last semester. A few months.”
He sighs pleasantly, “Ah, that’s good. This has been very fun, though i'm not sure we should do it again.” You feel the head of his cock kiss your entrance and hiss through your teeth, “At least...not for a few months.” You can hear the smirk on his face.
“I’ve waited this long.” You say, grinding backwards into his cock, “I can wait again.”
He leans down until his mouth is right beside your ear, “Good girl.” He whispers, and finally thrusts inside of you. It feels so good, he fills you so well. Your cheek is pressed firmly against the hard wood of the desk and a pathetic little mewl escapes your mouth at the feeling. You cunt already dripping from your last orgasm, you take him so easily, so smoothly. It feels like he is meant to be inside you. 
You feel a hand on your lower back, pushing you further down onto the desk and Nagito hisses through his teeth. Pumping slowly and deeply inside of you, like he is savoring it, “You’re doing so well, angel. I--fuck...You’re so warm.” his breathing is laboured, the rhythmic sound of his hips hitting your ass is echoing around the room, “I still can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you. I must be the luckiest man alive.” 
“Please...more!” you whine, trying to force him deeper inside of you with the movement of your hips. 
Nagito lets out a strangled moan and starts pounding faster, one of his hands slipping down between your legs to circle your clit, you cry out at the extra stimulation, toes curling inside of your shoes. The desk is shaking with the force of his thrusts now, there's a cute little statuette of a frog that falls down to the carpet with a clatter, but he doesn't stop. 
“You feel so good, darling...I--I don't think i can-” a groan rips through him and you can feel his thrusts growing sloppier, “-you’re so good for...so perfect...I can't hold--ah ahh” he swallows, “Please, angel, i want to feel you cum again.”
You’re close, mouth raw from panting and moaning, legs going numb from behind suspended in the air. Then, the finger on your clit presses down firm and his cock grinds up against your g-spot. That is all you need, you come unraveling under him, the walls of your cunt clenching impossibly tight around him.
“Ah, yes!” He cries, grabbing your hips and pounding you desperately, relishing in the feeling of your hot, tight cunt. Milking him dry, “Good, girl. So good for me.” Then, he cums, you feel his cock throb deep inside of you as his hips stutter and slow. 
It is only now that you are hit with the realisation. You just fucked Professor Komaeda. Holy hell.
All you can do is lay there while he slowly pulls himself out of you. Wincing a little at the wierd feeling of emptyness. You manage to roll yourself over, laying flat on your back with your legs still dangling from the desk. Nagito laughs and presses a kiss to your cheek, “Are you alright?”
You laugh weakly, “We’re going to get in so much trouble.”
“Not if no one finds out.” He tucks some of your hair behinf your ear, “Don’t worry about it, I’m very lucky with this sort of thing.”
“I just dont want you to get in trouble.”
He giggles, “That’s very kind of you, but this was as much my choice as it was yours.” he runs his fingers down your cheek and gives you a gentle kiss on your lips, “I meant what i said, about meeting up again.”
You manage to pull yourself up until you are sitting upright, you give him a sleepy smile, “Yeah, me too. I like you a lot.”
“How very sweet of you to say, angel.” He presses his forehead to yours and tangles your fingers together, “Let’s get you cleaned up now, hm? Can’t have you walking home like that”
To be honest, you aren’t sure you can walk at all.
____________________________
A few months later, you are sitting in the local cafe and applying for some jobs on your laptop. You did well on your final assessments and graduated with flying colours. It’s only a few more days before you need to officially move out of the dorms, and finding a new apartment (along with a job to pay for it) has not been easy so far. 
You huff and push your hair back from your face. Your phone pings, and you ignore it. It’s been pinging for the past few minutes and you are not in the mood to check it. The job you are currently applying for made you retype all of the information in your resume even though you just uploaded it, and you are not happy. 
The phone pings again and you groan, grabbing it and flipping it over. It looks like it’s just the group chat, as loud as always. As you go to close the message notifications though, you see one from about ten minutes ago that isn't from your group chat. Your heart is racing. 
Hello!
I still have your number from when you asked for an assignment extension at the beginning of last semester. I hope you don't mind me using it. It’s been a few months, I'd like to see you again, if you wouldn't mind.
-Nagito
Oh shit. Your heart is beating a rapid tattoo in your chest. You had been so caught up in the job hunt and apartment hunt that you had all but forgotten about...this. You swallow and manage to force your shaky hands to type.
Oh hey!
It’s nice to hear from you. I’m free this weekend if you want to meet up, I still live in the dorms though, so it’ll have to be your place.
It's only about a minute before you get a reply.
Lol! I was thinking we could start with coffee, but I'm not going to lie and say i wasn’t hoping it would end up in my bedroom. 
This weekend works for me. I can pick you up around 11?
You smile at your phone, cheeks turning crimson.
Sounds good. I’ll see you then.
You quickly update his contact details in your phone from Professor Komaeda, to Nagito <3.
261 notes ¡ View notes
keingleichgewicht ¡ 3 years ago
Note
WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0
YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]
Tumblr media
this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............  readmore
so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!
I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know
a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:
Tumblr media
it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,
in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.
(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)
but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:
Tumblr media
which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.
the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!) 
in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know
Tumblr media
dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!
i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill
Tumblr media
is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)
and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.
Tumblr media
so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.
I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand
the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’
but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.
Tumblr media
i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as
Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind
which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and: 
the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.
this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that
Tumblr media
as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.
Tumblr media
and then there’s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’
you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?
Tumblr media
staring down the barrel of the gun.
66 notes ¡ View notes
reputationdamiano ¡ 3 years ago
Note
Hey! Could you maybe write something about the reader getting stood up on a date and (idk mind which member of Må you choose) being a friendly stranger who decides to take them out to make their night worth it? If that makes sense? It could be an imagine or headcanons, I don’t mind! :)
night saved
pairing: victoria de angelis x reader
word count: 581
warning(s): tw anxiety attack, mentions of alcohol
a/n: it’s not my favourite work of mine, i didn’t feel inspired writing it but i hope you like it! also thanks to @bidet-and-legolas for proofreading 💓
Tumblr media
you looked around the hall, but there still was no sight of the person with whom you were going to a date with. a wave of anxiety washed over you.
no, it’s not happening- you thought. there was no hope that they would show up 30 minutes late. your breath quickened and your hands were shaking.
looking at couples buying popcorn and drinks, you felt like you were cursed in your dating life. first, your partner of two years left you without explanation. it took you three months to get yourself together. your cousin convinced you that going on dates again would improve your mental state and she set you up on a blind date. they were her friend so you thought it wasn’t risky. you regretted agreeing to it now.
you heard the sound of a notification and unlocked your phone. a feeble excuse, just as you expected. you felt like a fool, standing there alone. you tried your best to hold back the tears, but it was no use; seconds later they were already streaming down your cheeks. it was like you were drowning in them.
„do you need any help?” you heard someone saying as they approached you.
a blonde girl was standing in front of you. she was wearing a crop top and loose jeans. you noticed that she was really pretty.
„ um, actually…” you said in a quavering voice.
„did anything happen? you look devastated” she asked.
„yes, i was stood up on a date. we were supposed to go and see a movie” you answered, trying hard to keep your calm.
„do you want to go there with me? despite what happened earlier, you could have some fun” the girl suggested.
„don’t bother. you must have an appointment with someone else” you replied.
„in reality, no. i was going to have a self-care night and getting to know new people may count towards it in some way, too” she smiled.
„okay, you may be right. thanks for inviting me” you felt better than a few moments earlier.
„i forgot to introduce myself. i’m victoria, but you can call me vic” the girl said as she shook your hand.
„i’m y/n. what film are we going to see?”
„this one seems interesting” victoria said, pointing at a poster.
you went to buy the tickets and some snacks.
the movie turned out to be quite good, but it was even better when victoria was sitting next to you.
when the end credits appeared on the screen and the lights went on, you wished this date would last longer.
it was a pleasant surprise when vic asked if you wanted to go for a drink with her. you gladly accepted and she took your hand. you had so much fun dancing your worries away.
later, when you were sitting at the bar, you and your date had an interesting conversation. she told you she was a bassist in a band and you loved rock and roll. you were glad that music was your common ground.
you didn’t know if it was the alcohol but you really opened up to each other. finally, you weren’t afraid to be vulnerable and you didn’t have to hide your true self.
when you began to feel tired and sleepy, you called a taxi and hugged your date goodbye. she asked for your number and promised to see you soon. you thoroughly enjoyed that night and every next date with vic.
taglist: @ethanesimp @zuzamy @bidet-and-legolas @hopelessromantic727 @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @kyliesalvatore @otaculo @gretavanfleetlove
113 notes ¡ View notes
blxetsi ¡ 4 years ago
Note
Can I get some Reiner content pls? Hcs with the kids, cooking, date nights, embarrassing moments, pets, anything!
tysm for requesting !
Tumblr media
reiner braun dating headcanons (modern au)
college!reiner braun x gn!reader
warnings: nothing i think, lol meations of his weird parents 
Tumblr media
- reiner would be SO NERVOUS around you when he realized he liked you
- definitely started out as friends to lovers, you knew each other through a mutual friend bertholdt, but really became friends when you shared a class one semester
- when he realized he liked you it was in the most mundane situation ever,,, you, reiner, annie, porco, and bertholdt had gotten together for a movie night, and he was literally just about to put his hand on ur shoulder to ask if you wanted a drink (he was gonna get one for himself) and his hand stopped mid air when he realized he had butterflies LMAOOO
- this mf would become sooooo on edge around you,, like you knowing he had a crush was the end of the world 🙄
- annie and bertholdt would talk to him about it (and by that i mean annie would call him a big baby while bertholdt nods along) and then he'd become more relaxed with you once more
- when you two started dating he became nervous ALL OVER again
- insecurities and doubts came seeping into his mind and he wouldnt help but be overbearing at times
- he just wanted to be a good bf 🥺 he doesnt want you to leave him 😭🤚
- you two talk about it one night and it helps calm his doubts
- thats also the first night you two slept in the same bed 🤩
- he was so blushy the next morning, he couldnt look at you without his face and ears becoming red
- is a total tiny spoon idc idc
- sometimes he babysits his cousin gabi when he goes home, so when he took you with him for the first time (it was christmas break) you got to meet her !!
- shes a hyper little thing but so sweet, and she practically DEMANDS that reiner let her paint his nails for him 😭🤚
- you also meet her friends too !! but she tells you that the blond boy falco is her BEST best friend, as opposed to her regular best friends
- you can tell reiner is on edge during family dinners, especially the one you guys had on christmas day, and when you two get to campus you ask him whats wrong
- he tells you that his relationship with his family is a bit strained, primarily his parents
- he loves them of course !! but sometimes they just make him feel,,, not good
- but he reassures you that its okay, and that hes glad they didnt start anything when you were there
- you dont believe its okay but you dont push him
- he brushes the tip of his nose a lot, especially when hes nervous
- its not him like,, picking it or anything he'll just rub the tip with the knuckles of his index finger, he looks rlly cute doing it
- also tries to get you to go to the gym with him, bertie, and annie
- if its something youre into then great !! he keeps inviting you, but if you arent into it he gets a little sad :(
- but its okay ! you try to see him after his workouts with water and something for him to eat
- this is what makes him bring up living together
- i mean, annie practically lives with him and bertie now, whats one more person ?
- and its better because you wont have to come all the way from your apartment to his just to wait for him,,, you can be at HOME and do stuff until they come back from the gym
- it takes a little bit of swaying, but then he brings up being able to spoon him EVERY NIGHT and youre sold 😐👍
- you dont want to ogle at your bf so much,, but seeing him carry boxes from the foyer of the apartment to his bedroom where youre unpacking things is a,,, sight to see
- you asked him to just keep holding the box he had in the doorway of his room while your eyes roamed his arms and chest,, specifically his biceps and pecs
- YOU GOTTA BIG TITTY BF 🥰‼️
- he just stands there like 🙁 until he finally says "y/n please my arms are getting tired just tell me where to put it" lol No ❤️
- after you move in with him and bertie, things get a bit more cramped, specifically in reiners room
- its nothing you two cant handle, just with your things there sometimes its hard to find things, or youre bumping into dressers and tables and beds
- and lets be honest reiners room isnt even big enough for REINER
- so after a year of enduring it, you two decide to get a place of your own !!
- you got two bedrooms so one you could turn into a shared office and the other you could make your bedroom, and this makes things WAYYYYY easier
- by the time you move in youre already so close to your two year anniversary
- you dont think anniversaries are that important so you guys just went out to see a movie last year, but this year ?? reiner has something PLANNED
- and u know this bc you mightve accidentally found his laptop still open in the office,,, with "anniversary plans" written out in a google doc,,, and reiner was in the bathroom and you were nosy,,,
- so you snooped and read it all 😐🙄
- when reiner brings up youre anniversary youre distracted so you say "babe ill do what you got planned dw"
- he just looks at you like "how did you know i had something planned 😃⁉️"
- ANYWAYS LOL
- after that awko taco moment you play it off like "oh i just assumed lol" AND HE BUYS IT !! AHAHAHAHHAHA
- you two go out dressed to the NINES 🤩✨ and you had this weird night on the town 😭😭
- you guys did that food trend on tiktok where you do rock paper scissors and the winner gets to choose drinks, food, dessert etc..
- then you took everything and had a little picnic in the park, and you watched the sunset together 🤩🤚
- then he took you to a fireworks show they had near downtown, and watching the colours mix with the stars in the sky was so beautiful
- it started raining after tho 😭😭😭 and you two had to run back in the rain to the car like it was a MOVIE
- it was an unconventional kind of anniversary date but it was so fun, and reiner was so glad you enjoyed it
- then he brought up what you two would do after college
- "so,, graduation is in a couple of months, and ive already got a job set. and i dont know about you but, im staying in the city after we graduate. i just wanted to know if youll be moving out or, going somewhere else..."
- your heart BREAKS bc youre so sad hes just assuming that youll leave him after graduation, WHICH YOU WONT DO
- you have a paid internship at a facility in the city, so you tell him exactly that and that youll stay with him if its what he wants
- you can tell hes more than relieved, and get so blushy when you kiss his wet face all over
- "reiner i love you."
- HE SHORT CIRCUITS. SWERVES ON THE ROAD AND EVERYTHING !
- but he tells you the exact same thing
- "y/n i love you too."
- and he really does
Tumblr media
ive just realized this and all of my other dating hcs arent actually headcanons so much as ideas that i put in point form 😐🤚 gotta work on that 😁👍
anyways requests open hope u enjoyed
Tumblr media
235 notes ¡ View notes
sunaswife ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.
🔪: sorry this chapter is so shitty
Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload
⚠️: smut included in this chapter
Previously Up Next Masterlist
Tumblr media
Chapter Fourteen
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“How much money did you give to Kita?” You asked, he looked at you for a brief moment before looking back at the road. “Enough for the food he gave us. Kita works hard to harvest and plant rice. He deserves to get paid at least something.” He replied and you slowly nodded your head in understanding. Chewy’s head popped up between you two and you rubbed under his chin with your free hand. Chewy’s tail wagged and he turned back around to join the kids.
The rest of the week was slightly better, Karin was still hesitant around you but you tried acting civilized the best you could. There was no more comments and she was grateful you changed the oil of her car and fixed her brakes. She also smacked Rin for being useless and not knowing how to do that but you waved it off and said that your older cousin showed you how to do it since you were alone at the time.
Now your little trip has ended and you have a a few more hours to go. You’ve allowed the kids to pick their songs during the journey but you desperately wanted to vibe with blink-182 and other classics. After a pit stop for a potty break for chewy and the kids you began your journey again. Once the beginning of I Miss You came on your kids whined, “But we wanted the moana soundtrack.” Akira whined. “You’ve chosen long enough, let us pick a few songs and then you can pick again.” You turned and they nodded with a small pout.
“Hello there the angel from my nightmare—“ you started off and Rin smiled softly. You’ve sang this song many times before when you both would go on dates, but your voice was always light so he could barely hear. But now you were more confident in your voice that you didn’t have a need to sing lightly. That’s another he loves about the new you. “I miss you, I miss you—sing Rin. This was one of your favorite songs!” You encouraged.
“I’m not gonna sing.” He immediately shook his head, “Come on don’t be a party pooper.” You shook his shoulder and asked again. “No I’m not gonna sing with yo—where are you, and I’m so sorry—“ he began to sing and you giggled.
“DONT WASTE YOUR TIME ON ME YOURE ALREADY THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD!” You and Rintarou belted out and Rini was bopping his head. Chewy was napping and Akira sighed and patted her tiny hands on her thighs to the beat. She didn’t wanna give in and vibe with the rest of the family.
Rini smiled softly as the next classic rock song came on and you and Rin bopped your heads to the beat. He was glad to know that Rin likes listening to old rock songs like how you do. This was exactly what he wanted.
Everything was going to plan.
Tumblr media
“Home sweet home!” Rin took a dramatic deep breath as Chewy began sniffing everything. You immediately began taking out the clothes from the luggage to wash the dirty ones. Rin made his way to his designated room and remembered that you offered up your old bedroom and used your office as your new bedroom. He objected and agreed to sleep on the couch and he even offered to share the bedroom (cheeky little shit) but you declined. When he made it to the room, the sheets were unmade and your clothes were tossed lazily in the hamper.
“Hey yn—“ he called, “Yeah?!” You replied from the living room, “We’re you using my room?” He asked and you wanted to slap yourself. You immediately stood up and made your way down the hall and almost slipped. “Yeah I’m sorry, I was just so tired so I just layed here since this bed is more comfortable then the couch and I was too lazy to pull out my couch bed—“ you began to ramble but was interrupted “yn, calm down it’s fine. I was just curious.” Rin chuckled and flicked your forehead. You rubbed your forehead with a small pout. “Out of curiosity what cologne do you use?” You asked and he turned with a smirk, “Why? Do you like the way I smell?” He asked and you squinted your eyes. “Obviously I like the smell of the cologne or else I wouldn’t be asking. The scent of the cologne lingered onto your pillows so I was able to sleep more at ease—” You bit back but stopped when you admitted your secret.
“Why didn’t you just say so? Ya know if we share a bed you can smell me all the time.” He said smoothly and you facepalmed, “Now you make it sound like I have a smell kink. I’m fine I just liked the cologne.” You said and turned around to continue washing the clothes. Rin frowned as he saw you leave, “Seriously Rin? You can smell me all the time? Your flirt game is way better then that.” Rin immediately scolded himself. After five years of not flirting with anyone, he’s lost his touch.
You made sure the uniforms for the kids were cleaned and you began making preparations for dinner. You were tired of all the traveling and you just wanted to rest, but mom duties never stop. “Hey don’t worry about dinner, I ordered takeout.” Rin leaned against the door frame. “You did?” You asked and he nodded. “From where?”
“Osamu’s.” “I knew it.” You chuckled and stretched your arms over your head. “Yeah, we definitely need to see a chiropractor.” You mumbled. “Next Tuesday when the kids are in school?” He asked, “Is this a weird way of asking me out on a date?”
“If I said date you’d say no, but it’s a...a parent hangout..day..?” He tilted his head and you patted his back. “Okay. We can go.” You nodded and he smiled. Little by little you’ll start to open up again.
Tumblr media
Rin did a peace sign and the kids followed suit while they were in the bus. Suna nudged you and you rolled your eyes and did a peace sign too as you saw the bus drive away. You and Rin both returned home after seeing them off and you both lazily sat on the couch. “Just an FYI, I’m finally going to start training with the team. Games will be coming up soon.” Rin said and you nodded. “What division?” You asked, “Division one.”
Your eyebrows widened and you smiled, “Wow look at you rockstar, you always used to slack off and now you’re in a division one team?” You said with a light punch and he smiled. “Yeah I took it more seriously my third year and I was scouted. Before I transferred I was in division one as well.” He explained. “Oh okay. That’s sick. Which team?” You asked, “EJP.” He replied and your mouth opened with a gasp. “With Komori Motoya? He’s one of my all time favorite players!” You exclaimed and his eyes squinted. Is motoya a threat?
“Don’t even give that look, I only appreciate him as a player. Even in highschool, I wished I could have saw him in person during nationals.” You admitted. “Whatever.” He sighed and layed back with his eyes closed. “I can’t get my hopes up that we’ll ever be together. I just hope you tell me soon because I don’t wanna hold on to us if you don’t even want me.” He mumbled. You frowned slightly, yeah you kinda seem like you’re leading him on. “It’s not that I don’t ever want us to be together. I mean I’ve been waiting this whole time. Deep inside I still love you after everything that happened but I’m scared Rin.” Your voice cracked and he immediately sat up and opened his eyes to see your figure. You were hugging your knees and your eyes were watery.
He scooted a bit closer, “What are you so afraid of?” He asked as he put some hair behind your ear. “I’m scared that the past will happen again. We’ll get into a fight and I leave, I don’t want the kids to go through that. They deserve loving parents and I like this system we have, we’re friends and cool co parents. If we add romance it’ll probably ruin everything.” You began to cry, Rin stayed quiet for a bit as you let it out. “But how will we know if we don’t try? I obviously love you—“ “And I obviously love you too but—“
You were silenced when you felt warm and slightly chapped lips against your own, just like back then. Your arms reached for his face and you deepened the kiss purely on emotion. Tears still streamed down your face and you missed this, you truly did. He may have seemed so bored and deadpanned back then but in privacy and in each others company he was a perfect Prince Charming, so gentle and soft when needed. His right hand was holding the back of your head and he felt your soft hair tangle between his calloused fingers.
He missed this just as much or if not even more. Eventually you both pulled away to breath but you initiated the next kiss, and the next one and next one. It’s been so long since you’ve kissed another person let alone made out, same with Rin. He’s just as touch starved. Your cardigan slid off your shoulders and soon enough Rin’s shirt disappeared but you stopped. You rubbed your eyes slightly and looked into his eyes, “Are you sure you want to try again?” You asked and he nodded. “Of course I do.” He said as he hand rested on your cheek. You leaned into his touch and he smiled softly. “You?” He asked, you bit your bottom lip and nodded.
“Yes.”
He pulled you to him, you sat on his thighs and your arms rested on his shoulders, his lips moved to your jaw down your neck to your collarbone. His large hands reached to your waist and under your shirt but you grabbed his hands and he stopped before he could even ask for permission. “Is something wrong?” He asked, “I’m just a bit insecure..I’m not that skinny girl from back then, I have stretch marks and my boobs are a bit saggy, I have a bit of fat and I don’t want you to be disgusted.” You said lowly. “Why are you ashamed? It’s normal. Don’t you see this?” He asked and pointed to his upper arm near his arm pit. “I get stretch marks too. You’re not the only one. And who cares if you gained a little bit fat? You’re still beautiful. Your boobs are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful. I didn’t fall for you because you were hot or athletic or anything. I began falling for you because of who you are. Not because of your appearance. Also you’re still fucking hot, my own little milf.” He smirked and kissed your lips once more. “I hate you.” You mumbled against his lips.
“You won’t hate me after this.” He replied back and grinded you over his crotch, you moaned and he sighed. Your hands moved from his shoulders to his abs and you felt all his muscle. Compared to back then he was more of a noodle but now he’s really buff.
You slid your hand down past the waist band of his gym shorts, following his happy trail. It didn’t take long for you to find his cock and Rin leaned back with his eyes closed. “You certainly feel bigger, then the last time I remembered.” You said out loud and he released a small chuckle. You finally looked down and yeah, you could definitely tell the difference. His swollen red tip was already releasing precum and your thumb grazed over, earning a whimper from Rintarou. “Someone seems a little sensitive..” you hummed. “S-shut up.” He moaned as you pumped his cock. You looked up to see his face and you couldn’t help but giggle. “Wow what a switch from back then. Remember when I was a poor little virgin and so inexperienced? You took control and look at us now. You’re so sensitive when I’ve barley done anything.” You told him. “I haven’t had sex in five years.” He defended and finally opened his eyes, his brows were scrunched and you tilted your head to the side. “I haven’t had sex either but I’ve had my fair share of mommy time when I release my stress with the help of toys.” You replied and his hips arched slightly.
He could feel himself getting close with the thought of you touching yourself and saving yourself for him and only him. Nobody else has ever touched you. You’re perfect. “S-stop I’m close.” He warned but you continued and pressed your lips behind his ear. His grip tightened on your waist and he quickly pulled your hand away. Before you knew it you fell on the floor with Rin towering over you. Your hands were trapped over your head and you pouted. “No fun, you never let me be on top.” “I suggest you shut your mouth and let me fuck you stupid.” Your eyes widened at his choice of words and his hand slowly made their way under your camisole. He pulled the shirt up and saw your delicious breasts trapped inside your bra cups. Your face flushed as you saw his eyes darken. “R-Rin..” you mumbled and he looked up. “Take off my shirt.” He obeyed and pulled you up, the camisole came off with one swift motion and he pulled you close to unclip your bra. His lips kissed your shoulder, down your collarbone and between your breasts. “Lay down.” So you did. He pulled your tights off along with your underwear and finally you were completely bare beneath him in the middle of the living room. At least Chewy was outside. “Protection?” Rin asks as he slides off his shorts. “Birth control.” You replied and he breathed a sigh a relief. “Okay cool I don’t have condoms.” He said and you chuckled. Rin slowly opened your legs and drooled at the sight of you. “So fucking pretty I swear. How do you do it? You popped out two kids and you still take my breath away.” He said and kissed you before you could answer or process what he said.
His tip slowly moved up and down your slit, you weren’t wet enough and he’d rather die then hurt you so he slowly inserted two fingers causing you to gasp against his lips. His thumb rubbed your clit while his large and very long fingers pistoned in and out of your wet cunt. The pleasure you felt and loved he poured in made your eyes watery. You just love Rintarou so much. “Don’t cry love, am I hurting you?” He slowly stopped. “N-no, I just love you so much. Fuck I love you with my whole heart.” You said and he chuckled and increased his pace with his fingers, he saw your eyes clench and how your covered your mouth. He immediately pulled your hand away and you couldn’t help but cum when he told you to cum. “I love you so much that porn doesn’t work for me anymore. I always imagined you in order to get off.” He replied. “Always thinking with your cock.” “You love this cock.” “Hmm those toys I have are pretty nic—fuck .”
He bottomed out without going in slowly causing you to grip his upper arms. “Jerk—just cause you’re salty doesn’t give you a reason to treat me like a rag doll.” You looked down between your bodies where you both connected. “But you’ve been teasing me and need a punishment. Handle it like a good girl yeah?” He asked as he pulled out and slammed back in earning a loud moan from you. In all honesty he felt better then any toy you’ve used. People say missionary is overrated but they’re probably not doing it right. He left bruises down your neck and with each thrust his grip tightened on your waist. The rug beneath was hurting your back and you managed to flip Rin over, leaving him speechless. You slowly sat on his cock and he stayed silent watching you on top. You raised your hips and went back down, you leaned your head back as you slowly found a rythem and began bouncing on Rin’s cock.
Rin loved the view of you holding your breasts and squeezing them together while you bounced. Your little moans and whimpers will always be his favorite sound and it didn’t take long for him to grip your upper thighs and thrust himself up leaving you speechless (literally). Soon enough you both came and chewy was crying and scratching the outside of the sliding door so he can come inside. Rin held your limp body in his arms and helped you in the tub. Warm water surrounded you and Rin left to do something and after a good five minutes he came back. He slid in the tub behind you and immediately wrapped his arms around you. “I’m happy I can do this with you.” He spoke softly, “Me too...I’m sure the kids will be happy.” You leaned your head back on his shoulder and looked up. “Yeah, it’s pretty obvious what they were doing.” Rin said and you both chuckled. “They’re our little matchmakers.” You hummed and Rin nodded. You both heard Chewy barking and assumed it was just the mailman outside but all of a sudden the door of the bathroom flung open and there Hana and Jamie were looking at you both with such shocked expressions. You eyes widened when they gasped and Rin covered yourself with his arms. “I-I can explain—“ “FINALLY!” Jamie yelled but Hana rubbed her temples. “Is this just casual or a serious thing?” She asked, “Serious thing.” Rin spoke up and she nodded. “Um....I’ll go make some snacks since the kids should be coming home soon and we need to talk.” Hana said awkwardly and reached to close the door. You could both hear Jamie rant about how happy she was that you both were together. “Well that was awkward..” Rin said and you laughed, “Yeah they’re like that..” you said as you both began to properly wash yourselves. When both you and Rin changed and did an awkward walk of shame to the living room. The couple was waiting for you. You both sat on the couch and waited for what Jamie was about to say. Chewy jumped on the couch and rested his head on your thighs, “First off, I apologize for the intrusion. You weren’t answering your calls or texts so we immediately got worried and came over. And second, Rintarou if you break her heart I will break your face. Try to hurt her and I’ll get the best lawyers of Japan to go against you, okay?” She said. Rin gulped and nodded, “Yeah I get that..” he spoke up, “And third, I’m going to the US for about a month.” Hana said and you tilted your head confused, “But Jamie’s due date is soon.. you won’t be here when she goes into labor.” You said, “I know but...my next client is picky and important. I wanted to stay but even Jamie is pushing me to go.” “I just want an autograph. Our baby can wait till you come back.” Jamie said and you tried not to laugh. It was an obvious Jamie thing to say. “That being said, I don’t want her being left alone. We have midwives but they can’t be with her 24/7.” She said. “She’s more then welcomed to stay here, I’ll help her with whatever I can.” You said and then turned, “Sorry I forget it’s not just my home anymore. What do you think Rin?”
“It shouldn’t even be a question. I’m sure this is a scary thing and I’ll help too. Plus it’ll be good practice for when yn gets pregnant .” Rin sighed and wrapped his arm over your shoulder but you elbowed his stomach. He winced and the girls couldn’t help but laugh. “So it’s settled?” Hana asked, “Of course!” You smiled.
“I leave tomorrow.”
Tumblr media
@therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @atsumusdomain @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar
184 notes ¡ View notes
corpsentry ¡ 4 years ago
Text
january: an art retrospective
Tumblr media
i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)
Tumblr media
so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.
at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.
Tumblr media
january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.
january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:
Tumblr media
on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests
Tumblr media
the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th
Tumblr media
this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.
Tumblr media
january 11th. applied sketch
Tumblr media
january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.
Tumblr media
sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start
Tumblr media
january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit
Tumblr media
more applied studies
Tumblr media
on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real
Tumblr media
january 19th. i’m working on it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.
Tumblr media
january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud
Tumblr media
january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned
Tumblr media
26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies
Tumblr media
january 1st. january 31st
The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)
ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings
FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????
here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.
the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)
Tumblr media
take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.
Tumblr media
or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?
so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.
this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages
Tumblr media
and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.
Tumblr media
this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.
this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.
thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end
Tumblr media
205 notes ¡ View notes
minminnie-shii ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Giving SF9 Cuddles
Hai hai!! I know i’ve been gone for a while
lets just act like that never happened
Buttt, I’m back and recently I’ve been watching the new series of Kingdom and I am so hype to see my babies sf9 
currently sobbing
also my mom was very upset when they came in last place
anyways they’re all working so hard and I’m so proud of them so I decided to write this for all the Fantasy and new Fantasy who are getting into my babies.
so here is sf9 wanting cuddles, enjoy
Tumblr media
~Kim Youngbin~
Tumblr media
this man
uggghhh
i love him so much i might cry
moving on
being a father of eight children is hard work
but my best baby does everything he can and is the best leader he can be for those boys
butttt
being a little is hard work and he needs to be taken care of as much as they do
insert the love of his life
thats you
youre good at telling when hes stressed and do everything you can to help him
so when he looks at you with doe eyes asking for cuddles you don’t hesitate to say yes
so now your laying on your bed youngbins head on your chest
youre running your hand through his hair softly and humming to him
he lets out a peaceful sigh and lifts hiss head looking up at you
“i love you so much” 
he looks so sleepy and you couldn’t stop yourself from cooing at him
he eventually falls asleep and you just lay there quietly admiring him
he’s the love of your life and you’ll never understand how you got so lucky to have someone like him in your life
#toptiercouple
~Kim Inseong~
Tumblr media
this man
DORK ALERT
he will ask for cuddles in the most dramatic way
you’re at the dorm visiting him before he starts filming for his new show
you know that you wont be able to see him for a while and youre a little sad
inseong of course knows this
so he wants to make today extra special
he surprised you with flowers and your favorite snacks 
he even bought you a penguin plushie that was almost the size of you
so now youre sitting on the couch waiting for him to come back so you could start the movie you wanted to watch
inseong was watching you from the kitchen
you were playing with the sleeves of his sweater that you were wearing staring blankly at the screen in front of you
he smiled softly to himself before skipping into the livingroom
“____, dont look so sad, cuddle me instead!”
his loud voice nearly made you jump out of your skin
he plopped onto the couch next to you and wrapped his arms tightly around you
he pulled you into his chest and slowly rocked you back and forth
a smile came to your face as you rested your head on his chest
“it wont be long, i promise ill call you everyday, okay?” 
he assured you that he’ll come see you as soon as filming was over
you knew that he would and you were more than willing to wait for him
because you love him and there was nothing that would ever change your mind
even if he is a major dork that makes you cringe more often than not
~Lee Jaeyoon~
Tumblr media
bias wrecker number 1
did you guys see how hard he practiced for the jealous stage on kingdom
i might cry
i hope he got enough time to rest after hurting his knee
you were at your apartment when youngbin called you letting you know that jaeyoon was on his way to the hospital
of course you were worried but he assured you that he was okay he just hurt his knee
sObBiNg
of course you told him that you would meet him there and quickly got dressed
once you finally reached the hospital your boyfriend was staying at you found youngbin who was waiting for your outside
“is he okay? hes not too hurt is he?” 
“he’ll be okay, he just has to rest for a while, i told him you were coming”
as quickly as he could he led you into the room where jaeyoon was lying restlessly
when he heard the door open his head shot over to you and he smiled sadly
you quickly composed yourself and smiled, walking over to him
you sat in the chair next to him and the two of you talked for a while
he told you about coming in last place, feeling like he didn’t work hard enough
it hurt you to see him like that and you did everything you could to reassure him that you were proud of him and he did the best that he could
he began to grow sleepy while talking to you and you could tell
“can you spend the night here with me?” 
you almost squealed out loud as he sleepy state but you just nodded and agreed
he scooted as far as he could to the side of the bed to make room for you
you laid down next to him and he immediately wrapped his body around yours hugging you as closely as he could
he easily fell asleep to you petting his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him
i squealed
~Lee Sanghyuk~
Tumblr media
bEaNnnnN
hes so adorable i cant handle it
he also may be my moms favorite she doesnt know yet
although he is a dork he is very serious when it comes to his relationship with you
you are the light of his life and he will treat you as such
but youre still not safe from his pranks and constant jokes
he came to your apartment in his next attempt to bug you 
but when he noticed that you weren’t your normal bubbly self he placed himself next to you on the couch
you immediately reacted and rested your body against his
he leaned back into the cushions and pulled you into his lap
he would occasionally kiss your forehead letting out small hums
he would listen intensely as you tell him about you day
you explained why you were sad and he acted as if it happened to him
giving you advice on how to deal with the situation
it was rare for you to see him so serious but you loved that he was willing to help you with whatever problem that you had
even if it was something small a small trivial matter that didnt have any meaning
once he was sure that you were okay and they two of you would joke around
being the little shit that he is he would pin you down on the couch and began to tickle you
“yah, knock it off!” 
you tried your best to push him off of you
but our man is swole and was not letting you off that easy
once he finally decides youve had enough flops down and lays on top of you
“youre lucky youre cute”
you couldn’t stop the growing smile on your face as the two of you continued to joke around
~Baek Ju Ho~
Tumblr media
bias wrecker number 2
hes so precious and i cant handle the cuteness
aaaahhhhh
excuse me ill calm myself
the boy
whether he admits it or not
he will drop anything and run the minute you call his name
and if youre sad or if you pout
lord you better believe hes right there plotting the death of whoever made you sad
one day you and zuho are out walking around doing couple things
you know, being adorable
when all of a sudden you see a group of girls pointing and laughing
you werent sure what they found funny but you began to grow self concious
it didnt even have to be you that they were laughing at, but your mind got the best of you
zuho noticed the sudden change in behavior and immediately took your hand
he pulled you into a hug and rocked you back and forth slightly
he caressed the back of your head and whispered to you about how much he loves you and how beautiful you are
you looked up at him and smiled softly 
he chuckled to himself before placing a soft kiss to your lips
he continued to press light kisses all over your face as he hugged you tighter
you giggled and hid your face in his chest
the people that surrounded you couldn’t help but smile as they watched the two of you
even the girls who you thought were laughing at you they had large smiles on their faces as they all talked about wishing to have a boyfriend like him
~Kim Seok Woo~
Tumblr media
i swear i feel like he would be the best boyfriend ever
i know im not the only one who sees it
C U D D L E B U G
he won’t be able to live if he doesnt touch you at least once every ten minutes
ten seconds
he loves your touches 
lets be honest he loves everything about you
i am not kidding
after a stressful day of filming schedules and whatever other plans he has
his favorite thing is to come home and have you waiting for him
there were a lit of times where you would fall asleep waiting for him
he knew that it was late and you wouldnt be awake so he didnt bother to call you
he walked into his dorm tired from the long day that he had
after getting a bottle of water he walked into his room and a large smile came to his face
you were lying on his bed bundled up in his blankets sleeping peacefully
he got ready for bed as fast as he could wanted to lie next to you as fast as he could
once he was ready he carefully and quietly lifted up the blanket covering up your body
he laid down next to you and slipped one arm underneath your body
he slowly rolled you over so your body was lying on top of his
once the two of you were cozy he covered your body back up with the blanket
letting out a peaceful sigh he relaxed his body against yours closing his eyes and letting your quiet breathing quickly lulling him to sleep
you woke up a little later noticing that you werent lying in the same position you fell asleep in
your eyes fluttered open and a smile came to your face as you stared at your sleeping boyfriend
you placed a small kiss on his nose before settling back down and once again falling into your slumber
~Yoo Taeyang~
Tumblr media
baby
i love him so much
literally no words can explain it
uggghhh
anyway
his favorite thing to do outside of his idol life
iiisss 
*YOU*
so when he FINALLY gets a day off
guess what hes doing
hanging out with the love of his life of course
duh
he spent the night at your apartment the day before and now the two of you are lying in bed 
youre both lying on your sides just staring at each other with cute smiles on your faces
the aura around the two of you is peaceful, quiet, and intimate
to anyone looking in you could see the love pouring off of the two of you just by looking
you lifted your hand and brought it closer to taeyangs face, trailing your fingers up his jaw
you brought your hand up to his hairline and gently caressed his hair
“i love you”
a red hue came to taeyangs cheeks as he buried his face in your neck
“yah, you cant say stuff like that out of no where”
you giggle as his breath tickled your neck
you draped your arms loosely around his neck as he shifted to hover above you
“but its true”
“i love you” 
he buried his face in your neck again and attacked you with kisses
you squealed loudly and the two of you spent the rest of your day just like this
and neither of you would have it any other way
~Kim Youngkyun~
Tumblr media
this dood
A W K W A R D
seriously please help him
no one really knows how the two of you got together
youre both so awkward that people dont understand your relationship
but lets be honest the two of you are perfect for each other
hwiyoung is a sensitive lil gentleman and he totally understands you
buttt sometimes it doesnt come out how he wants it to
you know, him being awkward and all
he does love your affection but he just has a hard time showing it
so a lot of the time youre the one that has to initiate it
“youngie come here”
his head shot over to look at you the minute that he heard you whine
he stood on his feet and walked over to his bed where you were sitting
“are you okay? whats wrong?” 
you just smiled and grabbed his hand pulling him onto the bed
he let out an exclaim of surprise as he landed with an oof on the bed
you acted quickly and wrapped your arms around his waist
you laid half of your body on top of his and stared down at him
his face was red as he stared up at you
“i hate it when you do that”
you laughed again as you rested your chin on his chest
“you love it and you know it”
he just rolled his eyes and the two of you continued to talk to each other while lying like that
hwiyoung locked his hands around your waist while you talked about your idea of getting a new puppy
“will you name it after me?” 
you gushed at his pout and squished his cheeks together
“youre too cute”
you loved how adorable he was and you hoped that he stayed this adorable forever
~Kang Chanhee~
Tumblr media
fluffy fluff boy
deserves all the love in the world
supes awk
but tries to act confident around you because well
the boys make fun of him about you
our lil actor boy will be super chill about it as long as youre in the room
but the minute you leave
will whine and complain to his members
so one day when you randomly walked into the dorm and they were all there
you didnt hesitate to walk over to chani on the couch and plop down next to him 
you wrapped one arm around his waist and rested your head on his shoulder
you let out a small sigh and relaxed yourself into his body
the boys didnt say anything but they all had smiles on their faces as the two of you were in your own little world
chani slipped his hand into yours as the two of you continued to talk about your days
“when are you going to teach me your new routine?”
chani laughed and kissed the top of your head
“whenever youre ready”
he smiled when you let out a little yawn
“come on, lets go to bed”
you sat up and stood on your feet following him into his room
you plopped onto his bed and he laid down next to you
“will you sing for me?” 
he let out a tiny giggle before nodding
once the two of you were comfortable he began to sing quietly until your head lulled to the side 
once he knew you were sleeping he hugged you closer loving the fact that you were so close to him
72 notes ¡ View notes
catgirlsareruiningmylife ¡ 4 years ago
Text
[23:08] - baby you’re a haunted house .
Corpse Husband x Reader
TW :: kinda sad and artsy af tho
A/N :: also its like my first corpse fanfic dont talk 2 me...also uneditedand no, i don’t stalk corpse like some of you, so some shit might be inaccurate xd
corpse guides you through the rickety, torn down fence and then the two of you weave through tall grass. your destination sounds mundane, at first; towards the house a few blocks past the pond you used to skip rocks in...
the house- as many of corpse’s ghost stories go- has been rumored to be haunted, by what, no one knows. ghosts this, cryptid that- nothing particularly interested you as much as him, the narrator versus the story. no, nothing would ever take your attention as much as corpse does- he is the apple of your eye, but he’s too dense to realize this. the two of you have been friends long enough for you two to know what makes the other tick forward. his is alcohol, those die-hard fans of his, and his friends...
so you believe.
he takes your hand and they fit perfectly in his. he feels like a puzzle piece becoming whole for the first time since creation... or he thinks he does anyway- because he feels complete with you gripping onto his hand so tightly. it’s obvious with the way you glance around that you are terrified of being found on private property. it’s as though you were not as cool as you once were, knowing perhaps someone may still be inside...
...or something else might be.
if it were not for the cold weather or the broken windows that hadn’t been fixed in god knows how long- he would laugh at you and call you a scaredy cat.
yet, he doesn’t- he finds there is no point in teasing you unless he wants you to laugh- and right now, he wants you to be comfortable more than anything. he loves to tease you but right now, clearly isn’t the time, judging by the way you fidget with your sweater once he lets go of your hand.
“i’m scared and cold, corpse... where are we..?” you question as the masked man pulls you close out of nowhere- his heart thumps wildly in his chest, matching the pace of yours that echoes loudly in your ears. the symphony of hearts aching for one another is so loud and so in tune that it sounds like your own, so you don’t even notice.
meanwhile, corpse hopes you can’t hear his heartbeat with his loose arm around you, attempting to keep you warm. you feel like that house- hollow and empty, but then his fingertips dig through layers of fabric just to keep you warm. that alone makes you feel alive
“i’m okay... don’t make fun of me, but like.. i’ve always been afraid of ghosts.”
that makes him laugh for corpse is neither dead nor alive (at least it feels that way). some days, he truly wonders if he is a ghost, reliving this cursed life until he gets it right.
(your two worries contrast- his a worry of being dead and losing you- yours, the dead being able to come back.)
“don’t worry, i got your back, if any scary monster comes out i’ll throw myself at them first... then you run, okay?” corpse says this with such a seriousness, it’s difficult not to laugh when he does a moment later.
you two enter through the front door, admiring the architecture of years of being a living room and now it looks like the place where the dead rest.
you cannot help but yelp when he steps on glass and it breaks, immediately, your blood turns cold as you grab his jacket sleeve.
“what the hell was that?”
a pause.
“i stepped on some glass, sorry...”
you exhale, relaxing immediately, yet you refuse to let go of him.
“anyways... why did you bring me here?”
another moment of silence- but that moment turns into a few seconds, and soon a minute.
“i... i used to come here a lot as a teen... this house has always been rumored to be haunted- it’s not, by the way- but everyone looked at me weird.”
he smiled a little softly, as if it was something to be fond of, but it just makes you want to pull him into a hug.
“like, you were the first person who didn’t... and this always had a special place in my heart, because i felt like this house once... i was a happy place, but it went wrong...”
you cannot stop holding your breath, listening carefully- this isn’t the first time corpse has opened up to you so deeply before, but it’s rare that it happens. most of the time he downplays his feelings. sometimes you catch him by seeing puffy red eyes, whether it’s from being tired or having just got done crying, it’s... hard for you to read him. and the other for sure way to tell if corpse is sad is by scrolling through his recently played songs.
“and well, then i met you... and you made this broken home look prettier to me.”
this time, you went silent, unsure of what exactly he was trying to say...
“i... i guess i’m trying to say thank you, and i fucking adore you, alright? in fact, if i could, i’d let the whole fucking world know i... that i love you.”
wait...
“what?”
he groans with exasperation, pulling you into a hug.
“i love you, that’s what i meant... that’s what i’ve always been trying to tell you, don’t know why it had to be here, it’s just... special to me, and so are you.”
“corpse-”
“just listen, [name], you don’t gotta say you love me too, because if you don’t love me like that, it’s alright...”
“listen-”
“i mean, yeah, i’ll be a little sad, but i mean. we’ll always be friends, right?”
you shut him up with a kiss and he returns it immediately. in between laughter, the two of you return the kisses, one by one. until you get to the point where corpse is rest assured that you do in fact, love him.
“you’re a lot like this house, corpse... mysterious but lovely.”
now the two of you see this haunted house in a newer, brighter light...
89 notes ¡ View notes