#EmotionalPain

[alittlebitmessedupgirl]

[scraps-of-genius-or-insanity]

[dark-rx]

We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry...

[the-feral-quill]

Pretty and Pink

A lesson that was wanted to keep, Never learned, always on repeat. The feeling was unmatched, Nothing could compete, Until emptiness took over, Replaced what should feel complete.

Blinded by a foolish heart, The loveliest shade of pink. All doubts remain, Lingering with a haunting ghost.

The joke is clear; a lost and wandering soul, Clinging to memories that might not be real. Just a way to pass the time, But joy was brought to these days.

A lesson that could never be kept, The universe chose a different plan. One will remember, and another forget, The journey continues—reluctantly met.

[sup3rqu33n]

in the tub i killed a spider.

it reminded me of tyler.

watched it struggle, watched it writhe;

just another sacrifice.

as he weeps about his pain,

he’ll keep stabbing til I’m drained;

like a predatory bleeder,

victim camouflages reaper.

poured shampoo, watched it drown,

spider struggled, flush it down;

it’s me in my innocence,

trapped in tyler’s cold pretense.

to tyler, i'm that spider there;

to spider, i'm its worst nightmare;

i'm a predator yet prey,

shifting roles like night to day.

think of tyler, not the spider,

one so cruel yet i'm no kinder;

drained my heart, he played for free

with my spider misery.

[moonshadowmystique]

When Love Comes Too Late: A Lesson in Embracing What Matters

There’s a moment that keeps replaying in my mind—a moment I can never take back, no matter how much I wish I could. The realization that I loved him didn’t come in a grand, cinematic epiphany. It crept in slowly, with quiet whispers of "what if?" and "why didn’t I see this before?"

We were friends, or so I thought. We laughed together, shared late-night conversations, and leaned on each other through hard times. I always admired how kind he was, how he seemed to understand me in ways no one else did. But I never let my mind wander too far. We were friends, and that’s all it could be—until I realized it wasn’t.

I noticed it when he started to drift away. Maybe it was the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes anymore, or how our conversations became shorter, less frequent. A part of me wondered if he had met someone else, and my chest tightened at the thought. That’s when it hit me. The feeling I couldn’t name before. The pull that was always there. I was in love with him.

But it was too late.

He had already moved on, found someone who saw what I hadn’t, someone who cherished him in ways I now longed to. All those moments we spent together came flooding back—times when he looked at me just a little too long, when he laughed a little too hard at my jokes, when his touch lingered. I saw it all in a different light, but it was a light that had dimmed for him.

I wanted to tell him. I thought maybe I could undo the distance that had grown between us. But what could I say? “I think I loved you all along, and I didn’t realize until you were gone”? It felt too selfish, too unfair. So I stayed quiet, and he stayed gone.

I often wonder if he knew. If, in some small way, he sensed it but got tired of waiting for me to catch up. I wish I had told him sooner. I wish I had let myself see what was right in front of me before it slipped through my fingers.

Now, I live with the bittersweet memory of what could have been. And as much as it hurts, I’ve learned something valuable from it all: love should never be ignored or taken for granted. If you feel it, even in the smallest of ways, don’t wait. Don’t assume there’s time. Because sometimes, when you finally realize the truth, it’s already too late.

And that’s a regret you carry with you, one that lingers long after the chance to make it right has passed.

[ourinternallandscapetarot]

"The heart will break, but broken live on."

– Lord Byron

[alionalley]

Wish of Silence

Am I worthy thy torment?

@alionalley

[scraps-of-genius-or-insanity]

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[koostronomy]

i'd like to think that at least i was a "trophy," something that boosted your ego, that your little head felt even minimally proud to have me, that to you, i was the most beautiful woman in the world, and that’s why you never wanted to lose me or even show me, apparently.

but you just wanted to keep me there, by your side, rotting in bed. you had me naked and didn’t even react. maybe you saw me naked so many times that you stopped caring or feeling anything. or maybe i never turned you on at all, but i was just what you could have—the easiest, the closest—until i became just another habit, like playing little games for hours during the day.

when we lived together, i felt like just another decoration in the house, and i'll always be angry about that because it still hurts. i feel so lost and exhausted. i can’t even say what i feel because everything turns into an argument. you always react badly—to everything, with everything. but no, i’m the one who "goes crazy" and just wants to leave, right?

but you don’t even remember things that still hurt me, and that’s sad.

i feel so full of rage, so frustrated, because i don’t know how to get out of this. every time i try, you make me feel guilty, and i just want to cry. if you could see me now, telling a screen what i actually want to tell you, while listening to music and crying, you would hate yourself for saying you love me and still allowing me to feel like this instead of just leaving.

i don’t know if this is manipulation, if you really don’t know how to be in a relationship, or if you love me so much that you can’t even see how bad i feel.

all i can do is wait, but waiting will only lead to things i don’t want to happen. i just want to leave, for you to block me, for you to walk away, so that both of us can start doing better. and maybe—i don’t know—maybe we could meet again in two years and see what happens then. we won’t die from not seeing each other.

we could move forward, save money, become at least a little better than we are now, but you’re so stuck, and you don’t even see it. and i hate that i let you drag me down with you, because now i’m just as stuck. no career, no job, nothing. i’d love to blame you, but i can’t. i let it happen, so it’s my fault. and it frustrates me that i can’t get out.

i want to break things, break my hands from punching something until i get all this rage out. when i met you, i lost all the progress i had made before you came into my life. and i hate myself, i hate myself so much for that. this wasn’t supposed to happen. god, i got into debt, i don’t have a job, i gained weight, i fell back into my eating disorders. i hated that phase of my life, and now i’m back in it. and i’m so angry because i can’t get out. i don’t know how to get out. i’ve been trying for months, and i’m still just as deeply stuck.

i just want to curl up in a ball and cry, cry desperately, because you have a job, a secure home, food on your table. and me? i have a place to stay, at least, but no job. sometimes, there’s no food. and i’m so ashamed. i wasn’t supposed to be like this. i wasn’t supposed to end up like this.

i look like someone i swore to the universe i would never become, and i want to cry. i hate myself. and i want to die because of it.

[prettyquiescence]

tired.

Sometimes I think of how easy it would be to end my life because everything stays quiet for once, and I get to find peace I hope. I hope I sleep eternally because I think I deserve it. 

Sometimes I’m caught in between the good things I deserve and all the bad things I deserve. I keep telling myself that no one is bad but they make bad decisions and we’re all human. 

But I don’t know why I could never see that for myself. I’ve hurt people a lot in my years of living but I seem to be the most terrible person I know. 

I’m so tired of my mind,I’m so tired and sometimes I don’t know how much more I can take it honestly. I just want a way out, anything. It hurts so much. I’m just so tired and I just want it to stop. I just want to be in peace for once and the only way I see peace is if I could sleep forever.

[blackpieces]

I don't remember the healthy times. I don't remember what it felt like to wake up and just be. The little girl I used to be seems like a stranger, her joy like an echo from a place I can't reach. All I know now is the constant swing, the rise that burns too bright and the fall that leaves me hollow.

I wonder sometimes if she's still in here somewhere, hiding, waiting for the storm to pass. But it's been so long, and I'm afraid I've forgotten how to call her back.

https://www.instagram.com/mtamisz?igsh=anp0ZXgxazRsNXlu&utm_source=qr

[scraps-of-genius-or-insanity]

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Tired of healing from things I didn’t deserve.

[mpsay]

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बेंगलुरू में ऑटोमोबाइल कंपनी के डिप्टी जनरल मैनेजर अतुल सुभाष की आत्महत्या का मामला सामने आया है। मृतक के भाई ने आरोप लगाया है क�� उनकी पत्नी निकिता सिंघानिया और उनके परिवार ने केस खत्म करने के लिए 3 करोड़ रुपये और बेटे से मिलने के लिए 30 लाख रुपये की मांग की थी। अतुल की मौत के बाद उनके परिवार ने आत्महत्या के लिए उकसाने का मामला दर्ज कराया है।

अतुल और निकिता की शादी 2019 में हुई थी, लेकिन बाद में वे अलग हो गए थे। सुभाष पर कई गंभीर आरोप थे, जिनमें हत्या और दहेज उत्पीड़न शामिल थे। उनके परिवार का कहना है कि सुभाष को मानसिक उत्पीड़न का शिकार किया गया था, जो उनकी मौत का कारण बना।