#then it had a big snowball effect with friends and I’m just not ready to come out my shell like that again

[rambler-in-limbo]

Are you in a pizza tower discord?

I'd recommend the Fake House! It's full of fake peppino fans!

I’m in the Fake Peppino Mod discord only.

I have considered joining that Fake House server a few times but I’m not sure yet.

[luvrsux]

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆

❝ 𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒔 ❞

other chapters

➠┊word count: 5.1k

➠┊characters: trafalgar law, nami, portgas d. ace, marco {mentioned}, garp {mentioned}

➠┊cw: minor swearing

➠┊modern au !!

𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒑

❛ you had an awful interaction at a gas station nearby robin’s place after a simple party hang out. before anything else could spiral down into a catastrophe, a familiar “enemy” unexpectedly comes to your rescue, as well as charming your innocent and sour heart ❜

{colors for dialogue may switch/change as more characters are introduced !!}

❛ ━━･❪ 🖤 ❫ ･━━ ❜

The following morning you woke up with a pounding headache that could make you knock out again. You pinched your temple in pain as you separated your back from your bed. The bright morning light pierced through your pupils.

Your hands snatched your mobile phone beside you to check the time.

5:30, two hours before the school building opened up.

You realized that Ace wouldn’t be there to bother, startle or ramble your ear off on this bright morning, and the next few following ones ahead. You had a mixture of excitement and disappointment at the mere thought of it.

Rubbing your palm to your eyes, you heard footsteps approach your room door. A tall, formal fitted woman burst in.

“I hope you had fun on your little adventure last night” She greeted. Your mother was in the middle of putting on her sparkling jewelry on her wrists. “Breakfast is ready for you on the table as well as your lunch. I’ll see you this afternoon”

You felt her lips press gently against your forehead before she scurried back to your door. “Have a wonderful day at school, hon”

You heard the clicking sound as the door connected to its frame. You finally pulled yourself completely out of bed to get ready for school, which you weren’t entirely stoked for.

Upon arrival, you weren’t used to Ace’s absence but ironically, it made your morning more bearable than anything. Your morning classes went by smoothly and steadily. The two boys that accompanied Ace occasionally threw you hellos here and there, but Nami approached you frantically like she saw someone get run over.

“(F/N), oh my god! I found you” She made you tilt your head in pure puzzlement.

“I’m so sorry about last night, I was so drunk that I crashed at Robin’s. Did you make it home safe? Do I need to kill anyone?”

You appreciated Nami’s concern as well as her apology despite you not even minding. You giggled and held her palms.

“It’s alright, I made it home just fine” You reassured. You decided not to inform Nami about the gas station incident for the sake of her own blood vessels. You couldn’t even imagine the snowball effect that’ll cause.

“Are you sure? Gosh, I feel so bad” Nami looked at you with big hazelnut eyes.

“You’re good, Nami. Promise” You sealed your words with a tight hug to consult your orange-haired friend. You heard a muffled “okay” on your shoulder.

You pulled her back and gave her one last smile.

“I’ll see you at lunch” You turned your body and waved back at her. She smiled brightly to reciprocate it. You were pleased to shift her overly worried emotions into a much calmer one.

-ˋˏ ༻ 🖤 ༺ ˎˊ-

Now, there you were in a quiet English classroom while everyone scribbled down on an independent assignment. There wasn’t peep from anyone and the only thing that broke the complete silence was classical music your teacher played through their computer. You began to feel antsy and it wasn’t any better that the teacher before you had a growing hatred to cellular devices.

You extended your arm, it isolated in the air for a few moments before your teacher looked up.

“Yes, (F/N)?” He said lowly.

“May I be excused?” You asked quietly. Your voice echoed throughout the room and felt eyes slowly begin to trail toward you. You heard your teacher let out a sigh and gesture their hand to shoo you away.

You immediately scooted your seat from the desk to exit the rather awkward classroom. You didn’t have to use the restroom or attend any emergency per se, you just wanted to take a small walk around the halls to stretch out your legs and clear your mind.

The moment back at the gas station last night didn’t stop replaying. You began to overthink if Law hadn’t been there to help you. Your brain flatlined at the thought of potential events. It didn’t help that faint music began to play in the distance during your walk.

You tilted your head. You were completely puzzled and wondered who’d be in a music room playing with instruments in the middle of an academic class period. To be honest, you don’t remember the last time you saw someone use the music room. You were the cat the curiosity killed and peered inside the room to see who was enchanting you with the music.

You made eye contact with the toned arms, raven hair and inked tattoos as Law effortlessly grazed his fingers rhythmically along the guitars strings. The guitar was a sleek black with white and tan accents. You recognized some prints on the guitar that was similar to the ones on his black vehicle.

Law’s talent was entirely unexpected. He had all his focus on the instrument before him that rested in his tanned hands and long legs. He bopped his head to the tune as well as his legs. There was no sheet music in front of him, meaning he was pulling these notes out of his brain with complete ease.

You were taken back, to say the least. Considering your deep singing trance from yesterday, you admired music. With that, this sight was completely mesmerizing to you. You hadn’t known the cold, tanned boy had a soft side for music. His talents matched his vibe. The tune wasn’t hardcore or disturbingly loud. It was melodious and soft, like he was purposely trying not to disturb the neighboring classrooms. You averted your eyes from the music boy and realized he was the only one there in the classroom. You assumed he was skipping.

Law is only human, though. His hands suddenly stopped which caused a hitch in his guitar. He picked up a pen that laid flat on an open notebook that had scribbles you couldn’t quite make out. Law scribbled something inside, assuming notes on his song, and sigh.

“You play pretty well…”

You spoke without thinking. Your voice made Law flinch and drop his pen. He darted at you with widened eyes before relaxing at the familiar sight of you. You made yourself welcome and stepped inside the room that was once filled with music.

“We meet again, (F/N)-ya” Law grinned and pulled off his guitar off his toned body to place it on its designated stand. You sat by on a nearby stool.

“Thank you, that was actually just a random song I’ve been working on I guess” Law turned his head to his open notebook, then trailed his steel eyes back at you.

“You’ve just been coming up with that on the spot or…?” You saw Law nod with nonchalant eyes.

“No reason to overthink it if you actually know how to play” Law made a decent point. You shrugged with a nod.

‘So he’s a doctor-to-be and a musician? What else, a party clown?’ You pondered.

“What else do you do?” Your internal thoughts influenced your own curiosity. Law blew a raspberry, seemingly to recall all his other talents.

“I guess I draw” He replied. You saw him unbutton the first few buttons of his black button-down to reveal the more secreted tattoos on his body. Your cheeks flared.

“I did these tattoos myself. Probably why some are shittier than others… Well, besides the one on my back, that was a professional” You stared at his chest like it was the most mesmerizing view to ever exist. His words baffled you. You assumed Law made an immense amount of money to afford these tattoos, completely discarding the possibility of him drawing these himself. Each mark was perfectly lined and symmetrical, making his statement false in your own eyes.

“They’re… nice” You managed to muster up. After Law showed off his body, that being his arms, hands, and chest, he caught your rather flustered expression.

“Don’t fall too hard now” He cooed, buttoning his shirt back up to conceal his window. You cleared your throat and shot him a glare.

“Keep dreaming, Traffy” That nickname made Law recoil completely. His teasing attitude was completely tilted.

“Don’t. Absolutely not, It’s Trafalgar” You finally managed to pinch a nerve, after everything he’s done to you.

“I like Traffy more” You grinned.

“Already getting obsessed with me, eh?” He immediately turned the tables almost as fast as you attempted to. You furrowed your brows.

“Definitely not”

He shot you a blatant ‘Yeah, right’ look before shifting his body away to grab his guitar once more.

Law’s patterned fingers gently twisted the metal knobs on the stem of the instrument. You watched him tune his guitar quietly. Then, with half-lidded eyes, he looked at you. The direct eye contact almost made you collapse. ‘Why did this punk have this stupid effect?’

“You wanna hear me play or do you have other things to do, like being a cheerleader or something?” His question forced a puzzled expression to form.

“Cheerleader?” That is all you could say. Law shrugged carelessly.

“You’re always with that cowboy jock, I assumed you were his cheerleader girlfriend” He assumed. You snickered. Yet again, there was someone assuming you were Ace’s partner.

“Me and Ace are just friends. Practically siblings” You informed. Law nodded as he understood the words coming out of your mouth. “And I’m not a cheerleader, idiot”

Your hiss made Law simply chuckle. It seemed like he enjoyed getting a rise out of you.

“My bad, my bad” With that, he strummed the strings of his bass guitar with one quick swipe.

“Answer my question, still”

You traced back to it. You thought it wouldn’t hurt to chew at the boring remaining time you had left in your English class to listen to Law's enchanting talent, as much as you hated to admit it.

“It wouldn’t hurt to hear you play a little longer I guess. It’s better than the eyesore of my English teacher”

Law didn’t respond. He just gave you a side grin and strum the guitar with one swipe once again. He turned his gaze on you to his precious guitar in his inked hands and played random notes before they synchronized, harmonizing a song with his hands.

»•» 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆: 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 - 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒅 «•«

The song wasn’t an original. It was a cover of a song you’ve recognized through social media, but that didn’t disregard the fact the song was still played beautifully by the tanned boy. With each swipe and press of the cords, you felt yourself humming along. You lightly stomped your feet on the ground. Suddenly, the entire world went quiet and all you could hear was Law’s talent. He had a smile on his face as he hopped his head to the beat, noticing your enthusiasm.

The beat began to creep up on the infamous chorus of the song. You could’ve sworn you heard Law mumble the lyrics while playing, to which made you wonder why he didn’t project his voice. Your heart thumped as the chorus began to begin. Your chest grew a knot. Humming wasn’t enough, you knew the lyrics to his song. It wouldn’t hurt, would it?

I'm losing the person I was when I found you

Am I acting different when I'm not around you?

I'm being dramatic, I say that I'm losing

I wanna show you all the things I've been doing

The music was fueling you past your breaking point where you projected your voice to sing the lyrics. Law perked his head up the moment your volume raised. He seemed to be baffled by your voice, but the song was rather popular so that wasn’t a shocker. He smiled.

I'm going on dates and I'm hanging my head

I wanna share an apartment, a room, and a bed

I wanna tell you I love you, but I cannot reach you

I'm learning to lose, that's a thing they don't teach you.

You harmonized the lyrics together you two stopped by the sudden beat drop. You smiled happily from the mini-duet you two shared, completely forgetting you once hated him and his attitude. Law began the last verse of the song on his own. His voice was almost as good as his playing. The gods blessed him with a plethora of talents.

I'll miss you

Help me through

When I try someone else, I'll still miss you

You decided to conclude the song with him. Law still had that pleased smile. You eyed it while you finished the song together. That smug, sly, annoying grin wasn’t there, nor were the vibes. He felt content, and comfortable. Was it your voice? You pondered on what happened to the teasing boy you were once fond with.

I'll miss you

Help me through

When I'm...

Law took his final strum and the music died out. He took a long pause on his guitar that was once the birth of the enchanting music. The steel eyes finally trailed upon you, who had a pleased smile on your face. Law readjusted his instrument more comfortably on his lap.

“Nice duet,” He said smoothly. You reminded yourself this was the Trafalgar Law and quickly switched your attitude. You let your pride shadow your vision and refused to give him any sort of respect. Holding a grudge against him? Absolutely.

“It was fine, I guess” You shrugged. Law noticed that were trying, horribly, to cover your real emotions.

“C’mon, relax” He gave you half-lidded eyes. “I’m being genuine, (F/N)-ya”

Those words made your tense body ease up. You reminded yourself of one of the scrambled thoughts from last night; Maybe he wasn’t so bad?

You broke through, but still keeping a small guard up if he said anything slick. Law pulled his guitar off his body and popped his guitar pick in between his teeth. You watched him flip his notebook shut and tuck the pen inside the spiral rings.

“What made you want to do all of those things?” You asked. You completely halted Law from getting ready to leave. The raven-haired boy looked at you with a raised brow.

After pulling his pick out his mouth, he relaxed in his seat to continue the conversation.

“Well, for music, I guess I was always drawn to it as a kid” Law began. “I started playing the guitar when I was around eight? nine?” He stared at the ceiling as he traced back to his adolescence.

“With medicine, it honestly happened on its own. I realized that I’m pretty damn smart so why not put it towards the medical field” He explained. He was ready to stop the conversation right then and there, but there was one thing left.

“And your art?”

He paused at your voice. Law couldn’t be offended by your question, but he hesitated on answering like It was a touchy subject. Law groped himself in this conversation on his own.

“I got into that by a very special person of mine” Is all he could say. You noticed that he seemed kind of guarded on that subject, so you decided not to pry further.

“Judging by your tattoos, you seem to be really good at it” You chose to compliment him and his talent to ease up the tension you may have created. Fortunately for you, Law did begin to ease up.

“I try” He formed a side smile. “I can show you my favorite piece” He eyed you up and down with eyes that had more intentions behind them than you could fathom.

“What?” You immediately caught on.

“C’mere”

He gestured you over with two digits. You expected him to open his black notebook behind him that was covered in stickers. You pulled up a nearby chair that rested beside him.

Law grabbed, not the notebook, but the pen that was tucked into his notebook. You were completely puzzled and dumbfounded until you felt his rough hand grab your arm, ironically, gently. You watched him draw on that same smile face he had on his car. Law did it with complete ease and flawless, as expected. His own tattoos were self drawn after all. You didn’t mind, though. The drawing was rather cool in your eyes.

Law blew lightly on the ink that was marked on your skin to dry it. Now, you had your own tattoo. Granted, it wasn’t a genuine tattoo but you still felt cool.

“I guess you can say it’s my signature” Law eyed the mark and then back at you.

“I noticed. Am I a part of your wolf pack now that I’m marked?” You joked. You watched Law cringe.

“I should wash it off for that…”

The last few minutes of the class period you, by definition, skipped, was shared small talk you and Law had. You explained to him some of your talents and ambitions that he complimented. Every now and then, though, he’d remind you of his sarcastic and teasing personality that was progressively making you want to punch him in places that were forbidden.

“Class is about to end, (F/N)-ya” Law exhaled, tracing his eyes at the numbers his phone displayed. You took Law’s word considering you were out of your assigned classroom for a hefty amount of time.

As you both got up, you noticed that Law left his guitar standing in the stand while he slung his crossbody bag on sole shoulder.

“You’re leaving it here?” You asked, referencing the guitar. "Someone could snatch that and not even care" Law shrugged.

“No one really comes here, and I have the keys to the room” He pulled a silver key out of his pocket and spun the key ring around his finger. You were starting to notice a pattern.

“I have a small band so we practice after school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays” He explained as you followed behind him to the outdoor hallways.

You were starting to notice that Law was becoming a pleasure to be around. As much as it now slightly bugged you, the conversations and musical memories you freshly shared did make you pleased. You folded your lips.

“Is it okay if I pop in someday to hear you?” You abruptly asked. Law was lightly taken back while he twisted his hand to lock the music room before him.

“So you are obsessed with me?” He grinned at you with those steel eyes while he shoved the silver key into his spotted jeans pocket.

“Don’t make me change my mind, Traffy”

“Trafalgar, for fucks sake”

You laughed at his reaction, only for him to form a small, amused smirk.

“Fine, I guess It wouldn’t hurt to have you listen to all of us” He slipped his jet-black phone out of his back pocket. You watched him unlock it. “But I must warn you, they’re kind of obnoxious”

"I'm friends with Portgas Ace, I think I can manage"

Law slithered his screen to your eyes to show his number on there, clear as day. You paused and eyed it, realizing he was now giving you his contact information. After a short relocation, you scurried to type the number into your own phone.

“Text me the day you decide to show up so I can open the school’s door for you” He immediately tucked his phone away after he saw you put in the last few digits.

“Gotcha, I’ll see you” You smiled at him. For the first time, you actually gleamed at him. You notice Law choke back ever so slightly before nodding to strut off to whatever class he has awaiting for him—unless that is, he was going to skip again.

-ˋˏ ༻ 🖤 ༺ ˎˊ-

“And then I told Marco he’s kind of weird for that, but It was funny so it didn’t matter. Besides, the entire basketball team is kind of weird”

There you were, uncomfortable in Ace’s scattered room while he rambled on and on about his day stranded at home. You didn’t know how you got here in this situation when you just passed by to check in on his injuries, but his absence did take a slight toll.

“So that makes you a weirdo then?” You were sitting on the chair of his desk with crossed arms. Ace paused in his tracks for a moment.

“No, I’m awesome” He dramatically ran his fingers through his brunette locks.

“Awesome people don’t get grounded”

“Hey!” Ace throws a pillow at you only to receive a blossom of giggles out of you.

“Hey, by the way,” You relaxed your fit of laughter at Ace’s voice.

“Your wrist. What is that?” He asked. You gave him a dumbfounded expression before he lazily gestured at your inked wrist. You had completely forgotten about it since you arrived at his place.

“Oh, just a doodle” You replied. You weren’t completely lying but you avoided anything further.

“Lemme see!” Ace eagerly rolled out of his bed, which he once collapsed in after his pillow attack, to snatch your arm.

“Hey, you fuck-!”

“Law?”

Ace’s words, and also grip, made you snatch your arm away from his hands. You rubbed the area he had his calloused hands around.

“First of all, use your manners!” You scolded. “Second of all, it’s none of your business”

You slid your sleeve over the marked jolly roger. Ace began to teasingly laugh at you, finger-pointed and everything. He collapsed his body, once again, on his unkempt bed.

“Look who’s getting action while I’m not at school!” Ace gleamed. You were ready to throw a neighboring item at his face, which was an entire desk.

“We just met, idiot!” You scolded once again. Ace gave you a doubtful look.

“So he just mysteriously drew on your wrist, (F/N)? C’mon”

“Fine! We kind of talked and hung out during my English period”

Ace’s teasing, older brother attitude finally sunk under your skin. He noticed your cheeks slowly pigment at the topic of the moment you shared with the tanned, tatted boy.

“Be honest, do you think he’s cute?” Ace asked. At this point, you’d be talking to one of your girl friends than Ace judging his tone.

“I mean…” You played with your nails. “He’s sort of cute”

You admitted. Ace gasped at your response. That dark clouded judgment of how he was an asshole and very rude began to clear out the more you spoke with him. Sure, he had a playful demeanor but after that genuine smile that was carved in his lips when he played his heart away was different to you. You began to wonder if it was too good to be true.

“But I’m sure he has a partner or something already” You dismissed. You saw Ace’s cheesy smile collapse.

“That’s so cliche of you” Ace grumbled.

“I’m serious!”

“Be a homewrecker then!”

You jolted at Ace’s words, completely baffled. This time, you scrambled around to find an object to throw. You settled on a random stress ball in the shape of a basketball. It seemed as if it was a token of his away games. Chucking it at Ace, he let it hit him while he laughed manically.

“I’m not going to be a homewrecker, asshole!” Ace hadn’t stopped laughing.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He steadied his breathing that was inflicted by his own humor.

“Where did you even come to that conclusion?” He asked. Ace had a major point. You randomly came up with an assumption to dismiss your own delusions.

“C‘mon, a bunch of people these days would be attracted to a guy like him” Ace held back laughter when you saw his lips quiver.

“Sounds like you’re one of those people”

“Portgas D. Ace! Enough!” You yelled, causing a mountain of laughter to spew out of Ace’s mouth.

Ace relaxed his laughter and fixated his eyes on the analog clock that sat on his nightstand. The time almost gave him a heart attack, it seems. He quickly jolted up from his bed and didn’t hesitate on throwing your backpack at you.

“Hey-!”

“It’s almost four, Garp is about to come home! Get the hell out!” Ace dragged you outside his room and straight to the front door. Ace practically gave you whiplash, but at least he was decently nice enough to meet you at the front door.

“What happened to your awesomeness, huh?” You teased. Ace replied with a playful glare and shove outside.

“It’s right up your coward ass. See ya, (F/N)” He slammed the door, leaving you on the front porch alone. You laughed under your breath from Ace’s reaction.

You eyed your phone as you trotted down the steps to enter your vehicle. Nothing super major stood out, besides one. Underneath all the random notifications and emails was a following notification.

Piratesgram:

traf.heart_law followed you!

You were taken back, wondering how he even found your infamous social media page. You opened the notification to which panned to the app itself. You scrolled through his own page before following him back mutually. He didn’t have much. His profile picture was a semi-side profile of him with a mic in front of his lips. You eyed his bio.

Musician / Medical student

this is kind of boring

i don’t do tattoo appointments

You didn’t spot anything indicating that he was in a relationship, panning back to the conversation you and Ace shared. You swiped through each post. Most of it consisted of his music and art pieces. Occasional self-portraits here and there, but they were those kinds of mirror pictures where his phone covered his face. Still no sign of a partner.

‘Why does that even matter, (F/N)?’ You scolded yourself.

Before you could reciprocate his following, you noticed the highlighted ring around his profile picture. Finally, you opened it. It was one post that consisted a group of guys you weren’t quite fond of. They all looked like they were in preparation for a musical performance in the familiar music room. Two people looked like they were having a side conversation, but you couldn’t quite make out their faces.

“can never get anything done with these idiots” The caption read.

“Right, band practice…” You murmured.

With that, you finally followed him back. Despite him being the first one to make a move, you felt a wave of nerves course through your veins after giving him that notification.

You focused all your attention on getting back home after secretly being at Ace’s during his house arrest week. You feared you’d be in the same boat as him if Garp snaked to your mother that you were at Ace’s during his sentence. Luckily, you didn’t see his familiar car pull in when you left.

-ˋˏ ༻ 🖤 ༺ ˎˊ-

Your mother placed a steaming plate of your favorite dinner in front of you. You felt your mouth water at the sight of it, not hesitating on flipping your utensils in your fingers to dig in.

“It’s hot, hon. Careful” She warned soothingly. You gave her a nod and decided to pass the time with your phone, which was entirely normal in this generation.

You opened the infamous social media app and saw Law’s profile highlighted again. You formed a small smile and opened it to see someone recording the band together. You heard the music harmonized together while someone sang proudly in front. You kept your eyes on Law, who was still playing that infamous guitar from earlier. He had a mic in front of his mouth as well as the other guitarist. Law played as backup vocals and you could faintly hear his familiar singing voice behind the lead vocalist.

The song wasn’t entirely foreign to you, but it wasn’t a song you’ve heard online. It reminded you of the song you caught the boy playing before you walked inside the music room. You enjoyed the fuller version of the song as much as you did when Law was simply playing his part, if not more. You thought it wouldn’t hurt to like his video considering it was quite literally music to your ears.

“Who’s that?” A voice startled you to the point you almost felt your heart stop. You breathed out heavily from the sheer terror.

“A guy from school, mom” You exhaled. She noticed that she startled you and couldn’t help but giggle.

“Be careful~” She cooed. You immediately caught on to what she was insinuating and immediately dropped both your fork and phone on the marbled island.

“Not like that, Mom! Don’t be like Ace, please” You picked at your plate with the fork. “He was so annoying about it”

Your remark made her laugh under her breath. She just rolled her eyes and served herself her own plate of food, packaging the rest away as leftovers for days to come.

“Then stop gawking at him and eat your dinner”

Your dinner was left untouched and you noticed. You eyed Law long enough for your food to cool down for consumption instead of the molten temperature it was once at. You grumbled in defeat and stuffed your face with the food.

After you cleaned your plate with your own appetite, you did your mother a favor and clean the dishes that were once used for her delectable dish. You shook your soaked hands in the sink to semi-dry them out. You felt your mother place a kiss on your head.

“Tomorrow, I need you to grab some groceries and other essentials” Your mother cooed. Your expression, which was once pleased by her gentle kiss, darkened at her after basically saying her weekend was ruined with errands.

“It’s the weekend, Mom. Do you have any pity?” You jokingly groaned to the woman that was about to rest her busy head in her master bedroom upstairs.

“No, but you’ll always love this witch you call a mother” She smiled, reciprocating the same humorous demeanor that you initiated. You exhaled in laughter.

“Goodnight, hon. Don’t sleep too late. I love you” With that, she disappeared by the steps that lead to her sacred room.

“I won’t, Mom. I love you, too”

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𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔

✎ ❝ BOOM chapter 3!! FIRSTLY the gradient text is probably the best thing i ever did in this novel because it. is. GORG!!! speaking of, i hope you enjoyed the little music i added. a few moments ago i blogged how i made a playlist for the novel so i’ll definitely link it sometime soon. now that i revealed laws talent (and literally the whole reason i wrote this story LOL) there’s going to be more songs and duets between you and traffyyyy! again, tysm for the immense support i get all happy and giggly when i see anyone message me or like my stuff you don’t understandddd! lastly, since i uploaded 2 chapters today, i think imma skip a day from writing cuz WOO this was a lot. i also realized how easier it is to edit on my pc rather than my phone (｡´╹A╹｀｡) ANYWAY i love you guys SOSO MUCH STAY SWEETTT!! ❞

All licensing and ownership belong to Eiichiro Oda

[hellomynameisbisexual]

It’s true. A 2011 Williams Institute meta-analysis estimated that 52% of the queer community identifies as bisexual, and more recent surveys have repeatedly backed up that ballpark number. But despite this, bisexuality remains relatively invisible — many people still think it’s a myth or a phase, even (and sometimes especially) gay and lesbian people.

So what gives? Why is such a large portion of the queer community lagging behind in awareness and acceptance?

One of the main reasons is that bisexuality people are far less likely to be out to their close circle of friends and families. A recent Pew study found that while 77% of gay men and 71% of lesbian women are out to all or most of the important people in their lives, only 28% of bisexual people are. That number is even lower for bisexual men at 12%.

Based on countless discussions at a bisexual support group I attend in New York City, the biggest challenge facing bi men is that most people assume we are gay. Though internalized homophobia certainly plays a role in why this assumption feels so scary, bi men also don’t like being labeled as gay because, quite simply, we’re not. We’re bi! We are attracted to people of more than one gender and/or sex. Nearly every bi man I know who has identified as straight feared or still fears coming out because their attractions to and relationships with women may be disbelieved or cut off. And this has very real implications, because as a 2017 Stanford study showed, 88% of bisexual people are in relationships with a partner of a different gender.

Before I came out, that was my biggest fear, too. I even internalized that societal stigma to such a huge degree that I worried I really was gay.

But I’m not. I have always felt comfortable being with women, I am attracted to women, and I have had loving, honest, passionate relationships with women. I also like men. Both things are true. But before I came out, I was terrified no one would believe me.

The thing that finally tipped the scales and helped me come out was actually meeting other real, live bi men. I had done a ton of internet research, but when I finally went to that bi discussion group and met people in real life, I understood in a visceral way that these men really existed, that their feelings were true and valid, and that I was one of them.

I am not sure that anything can replace the experience of meeting real, live bi people, so for now you’ll just have to take my word for it — we exist, and our sexuality is valid. And though many are confused by it, it’s actually very simple — instead of liking only one thing, we like two or more things. We don’t assume that someone who likes chocolate ice cream can’t like vanilla, or strawberry, or mint chip — so why do we view sexuality that way? Our attractions are based on the person; gender is not a disqualifier.

I get why the statistics are where they are. We are the largest group in the LGBTQ+ community, yet we remain the most closeted. It will take more visibility and awareness to encourage more visibility and awareness — a catch-22, yes, but also an opportunity for a snowball effect and a bisexual revolution.

If you’re not ready to come out, that’s totally fine — it’s up to you to decide when it’s safe and feels right for you. But remember: your sexuality is normal and nothing to be ashamed of, and there is a large community ready to accept you with open arms. Trust me, I know how scary it seems, but I bet it won’t be as big a deal as you think. If we really want to live in a world that isn’t so defined by gender, a world where we can love anyone we want, we will all have to take that step eventually — and the brave ones who do it now will make it easier for those who come next.

Want to learn more? I co-host a podcast called “Two Bi Guys” that covers these issues and features interviews with other bisexual people, with an emphasis on Bi+ men and Bi+ people of color. Check it out at www.TwoBiGuys.com or search “Two Bi Guys” on any podcast platform.

[themurphyzone]

PatB: Snowball Ep Talk

You know, I really do love the episode Snowball (my personal favorite AKOM episode) but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it here much, and if I did it’s probably really only because of the flashback sequence. 

Okay so all looks good so far. Chain letter scheme and superstition, a standard introduction to Brain’s latest plot of world domination. All looks good. Plus I just like this shot of Pinky. Don’t mind me, just starting off light here with a smushed Pinky. 

I just like Pinky’s pose here. He’s so cute. 

You will bow before Troz.

“I met a Snowball today! Right here in the lab!” -Pinky

You know, I just find the implications of this line hysterical. This means that Snowball was in the lab that day, waiting for the moment to strike, and he definitely pushed his stolen chain letter through the mail slot. 

And then he lets Pinky see him, and no it’s not just a passing glance either cause Pinky specifically describes a tattoo with an A and a circle and points to his leg. Which means Snowball deliberately lifted the fur on his leg and showed his tattoo to Pinky. 

Like, wow. 

“It means, Pinky, that evil lurks among us. By the name of Snowball! SNOWBALLLLLLLL!” -Brain 

Talk about a bad breakup. *Alexa play Bad Blood*

Personally I think one of the interesting visual cues is that Snowball purposely plants himself into the mice’s space. There’s a lot of that in this episode. He knows how to rile up Brain and hit him where it hurts, namely through Pinky. 

Brain values his personal space, and he values a sense of control. When Snowball invades that space, Brain loses control, and his anger can lead him to make some very ill-informed decisions. Which is exactly what Snowball aims for. 

“You think Pinky is an asset?” 

“Anything I can take from you is an asset.”

Ah yes, Snowball’s mission statement. Crush everything Brain has into dust. 

The flashback sequence. Dear God this flashback sequence. They were both so cute! 

You know, it’s really sad that a younger Brain acted more like Pinky. Making silly faces and trying to get someone to laugh are such Pinky things to do. I know canon is loose but if you consider this flashback taking place shortly after Brain was captured from the wild, then young Brain didn’t gain a grasp on what happened to him until after the gene splicer.  

Ok but Brain was literally right there when the gene splicer exploded. Imagine having your cranium size dramatically increase, you’re injured, you’ve suddenly gained sentience, and as if all that wasn’t enough, you see the gene splicer explode with your only friend inside. 

Oh, and said friend’s mind was probably damaged in the explosion and now he hates your guts. And though you’re angry with him for his betrayal, some part of you will never stop caring about him. 

Once again, Snowball needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. 

This conversation here establishes Snowball as the perfect third character. He appears only in a handful of eps, but he’s fun to watch and love to hate. Snowball challenges the mice’s relationship. Snowball sees the weak points; the insults, the reliance on each other, and twists them to his advantage. And Pinky even admits he’s hurt by Brain’s insults occasionally, though he still loves being around him. 

“Pinky, the Brain doesn’t care about you. He’s just using you.” 

“No, he’s not.”

It’s really interesting to me how Pinky denies Snowball’s statement, yet his ears go down to show that he’s affected by the idea of being used. Pinky and the Brain may be night and day, but one thing they do have in common is their tendency to deny certain things. Brain with emotions and affection and Pinky with concepts he’d rather not admit the possibility of. 

Coming back to this later. 

Non plot related but Brain is teeny tiny and I love how he just trusts Pinky to catch him

Side note: I apologize if any of these screenshots look weird. It’s an AKOM ep. 

WHY ARE YOU TWO SO BAD AT SNEAKING AROUND. 

I just find it hilarious how they clearly run around where Snowball can see and hear them. Like they just shout Snowball’s name in the middle of the room. You’re terrible at being sneaky little mice. Please. 

Those dang boomers and their old timey 90s computers. Technology is ruining boomers. Can’t even hold a conversation anymore cause they keep looking at their screens. 

No touchy! 

Well, it’s awful nice of Snowball to engage in nepotism and offer Brain a position in his administration...and then tempt Pinky with an amusement park when he refuses. 

You really gotta appreciate the complexity of Snowball’s plans. Stealing the chain letter fails->plant seeds of doubt in Pinky’s mind, even if this doesn’t work right off the bat, the idea will still be there-> take over a corporation->impersonate Bill Gates->When the mice show up, offer to co-rule the world on expectations that Brain will refuse->make co-ruler offer to Pinky->wait for Brain to open his big mouth and drive Pinky away. 

All to take everything Brain has. His dignity, Pinky, his meager resources. Like holy Snowball, Batman.  

And then Snowball reveals the amusement park he had specifically built for Pinky. 

And here we have the most heartbreaking line of the ep. If I had the ability video edit I would’ve put the entire line on audio because Brain’s tone is very important here. It’s about 12:38 to 12:57 in the ep if you want to see for yourself. 

“Oh, go ahead, Pinky. I don’t need you. What did you think, I just have you around so I can steal your brilliant ideas and claim them as my own? That I’m just using you, Pinky? Oh yes, I’m using you for your brilliance!” 

First of all, very poor word choice, especially to someone who has trouble understanding sarcasm. I just want to dissect this statement here. 

The Literal Meaning: You’re an idiot to think you were ever more than an assistant. 

This is what Pinky hears. 

But if you listen to Brain’s tone rather than just reading the line, he sounds genuinely hurt that Pinky would ever be tempted by something as frivolous as an amusement park. It’s Pinky, so he just sees ‘ooh fun rides, cotton candy, and carnival games’! 

But Brain is perfectly aware that this is Snowball’s well-crafted method of taking away the only thing he truly has, and he knows it’s working. And he’s hurt. 

The Actual Meaning: Snowball’s trying to separate us and you’re falling for it, Pinky. You may be an idiot, but many of my plans never would’ve come to fruition without you. You’re much more than an assistant. You’re my friend and my world.  

Unfortunately, all Pinky hears is that Brain was only using him. That Brain values him for manual labor and an extra hand only, rather than a treasured companion. The fact that Brain often falls short of making Pinky feel appreciated just adds to this. 

And now that he no longer has Pinky, Brain’s spirit is crushed. Brain is persistent, but without Pinky, he has no reason to be. 

As far as he knows, his only two friends have turned their backs on him and couldn’t care less if he has nowhere else to go. 

Poor thing. He needs hugs. 

“I didn’t think it was possible. Humanity has actually gotten dumber.” -Brain

OK I think this one shot establishes what the world would be like under Snowball. His name is everywhere, and he tells the population to do stupid things just to bask in his own superiority. 

However, I can’t see Brain putting his name on every building so frivolously like this if he ruled the world. Sure, he’d name a bunch of things after himself and Pinky, but it would be more meaningful to them. 

Brain wants humanity to advance, not regress. 

Poor Pinky. Despite all this new extravagance and luxury, he’s also lonely. The room and bed are large, but it lacks personality. He’s sleeping with an ACME Labs snow globe, and other than a reference to Citizen Kane, it also shows that he’s not happy with this. 

The worst thing in the world for these mice is separation from each other. 

Suicide by cat. 

Poor little guy can’t make it on his own. Luckily, he snaps out of it. 

“My world. I must save MY world!” 

Said while looking at a picture of Pinky. Real subtle there Brain. 

“Look, you fool. You have no brilliant ideas. I’m only using you to get at him! So just stay quiet!” -Snowball

“You’re...using me?” -Pinky

He was just a bargaining chip. Never a friend. 

“What do you want?” 

“My friend. And MY world!”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He makes martial arts noises like a dork. I love him. 

I love how their characters are reflected in the mecha designs (also I had no idea Snowball was Iron Man!) 

Snowball’s is overall the more efficient design. It’s also much more combat ready and violent. In comparison, Brain’s suit is simply operated with a bunch of levers. It’s alright for peaceful situations like getting around faster or simply blending with a human population, but in a straight up fight the levers take too much time to operate. 

Snowball is more efficient than Brain, and while he’s got the ego, he lacks the insecurities that hold Brain back. His confidence makes him such an effective foe. And more importantly, Snowball doesn’t value Pinky’s companionship. He’s a tool and nothing more. Compare that to Brain. While Brain struggles at showing it, he ultimately wants Pinky’s input and values his jumbo-sized heart. 

Somewhat off topic, but I feel like the reboot missed this aspect of Brain and made him too overly edgy and violent (reboot!Brain would probably prefer Snowball’s mecha design over his counterpart’s). The only time Brain should become violent, if not for comedy, is when he’s protecting Pinky. His plans should have a level of restraint to them, and Pinky is the moral compass.  

I just like this shit-eating grin right here (I mean, he did eat shit in Welcome to the Jungle so...lol)

This is such an insanely clever move for Pinky. I feel like Brain would be like ‘oh my god Pinky!’ and then ‘wow, that’s actually brilliant what the heck is this tingling feeling’. 

ACME LABS IS IN NEW YORK CITY??????

I know this is a case of Where the Hell is Springfield but gdi aren’t they supposed to be in southern California. 

Ok fine I realize the ending to this ep is a reference to North by Northwest cause they somehow got to Mt. Rushmore but still 

Weird tangent but North by Northwest’s ending bothers me (not gonna fault this ep as it’s just a parody)? I’m sorry the girl is barely hanging onto Mt. Rushmore, the dude pulls her up, and then they have sex in a car. The sudden transition always seemed weird to me. 

I am ending this analysis post with a weird shot of Snowball cause i can and it’s his episode. 

[themadlostgirl]

When It’s Cold (5)

*I had different, spicier, plans for this chapter and then the characters took off with the plot and had fluff instead.*

~~~

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

I had been way louder than I meant to. My body was pleased with the after effects of masturbating but my mind was paying the price. I had been peacefully asleep until another naughty dream of Felix entered my subconscious. It was late so I figured he was asleep and I could get away with being a little loud if I got a tad overwhelmed but I had thrown caution to the wind right at the end when I screamed his name.

Hopefully he hadn’t heard but it did nothing to assuage my worries. I need to get a handle on these hormones. Maybe I would feel more in control if I got something. The store sold condoms. At the very least if it turns out that he does want to have sex one day I can be prepared. I set out early that morning before Felix woke up and grabbed a box of condoms as well as some feminine products. I had forgotten I even got a period until I came to Storybrooke and time started its toll on my body which meant my bloody, crampy, moody friend was back to wreak hell upon me.

Maybe that’s why I had been so horny lately. PMS can be a hell of a hormone tornado.

I got back to the house and was happily walking back to my room to drop off my purchase when I heard music coming from the kitchen. Damn. I didn’t think Felix would be awake yet. I tried to sneak past but he caught me halfway through.

“There you are,” Felix said, “I thought you were still in bed asleep. Where’d you go?”

“Quick run to the store,” I waved the plastic bag in my hand.

“I’m making eggs, do you want any?”

“Oh sure, I’m gonna go drop this stuff off in my room first.”

“Okay.” He shrugged, “Oh wait,” he gestured for me to come back.

“Yes?”

He pulled me in for a quick kiss. “Just wanted to do that.”

“Sap.” I tweaked his nose.

I raced up the stairs and dropped the condoms in the drawer of my bedside table and stuffed my feminine products under the bathroom sink. There. Now come period or play time I was ready!

I went back downstairs and sat down with Felix for breakfast. The snow outside had really piled up. On my trip into town I saw a lot of kids out in their lawns making snowmen. Felix and I have stayed cooped up inside this entire time. Maybe we should go have fun outside too. Our entire lives used to be spent outdoors before we came here after all.

I mentioned as much to Felix and he shrugged saying it sounded like fun. We got dressed in our winter attire and I raced out into the snow. “Felix, help me roll!”

“Roll what?” he asked.

“I’m trying to make a snowman. I’ll get started on the lower section, you get started on the middle.”

“Alright then,” Felix stooped down and started rolling a ball.

I got a pretty big base done and Felix came over with his slightly smaller ball to stack on top of it. Felix started rolling the head while I gathered some rocks and sticks to decorate it with. “Arm here, and here, rocks for eyes and a nice rocky smile and ta-da! Snowman! Isn’t he a handsome devil?”

“He’s a pile of snow and rocks, darling.”

“Well how about this,” I dug my finger into the face of the snowman and dragged it down. “There, now he looks like you.”

“You’re hilarious.” Felix rolled his eyes, “He’s a little too short to be me though.”

“Nope. He’s a perfect copy.”

“Well you know what this means.” Felix started backing up, “If there are two of me that means one of us has got to go.”

“Felix! Don’t you dare!” I yelled, “Don’t kill Felix Junior!

“There can only be one!” Felix ran and tackled the snowman breaking all our hard work in half. “I reign victorious!”

“You are a terror!” I grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at him. “I will avenge you Felix Junior!” The snowball hit him right in the head. He stood up and gawked at me.

“You really wanna have this fight, little girl?” He asked as he picked up the discarded head of Snowman Felix. “We’re gonna have this fight!”

“No!” I started running away as Felix raced after me. The severed head of our snowman held high above his own head. I felt the force of it hit me in the back and I went tumbling to the ground.

“Gotcha!” Felix was already forming another snowball.

“Oh no you don’t!” I quickly made another ball and hurled it nailing him in the face. “For Felix Junior!” I started making more snowballs as I got up and started pelting him.

I was laughing my head off as Felix and I dodged around one another throwing snowballs. I got too close once and he grabbed me shoving a clump of snow to my exposed neck! “No! No! Cold! Cold! Cold!”

I dropped to the ground and Felix fell with me. He was hovering over me, that wide smile that only I ever got to see, bright on his cold stung face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Our battle lay forgotten as we sunk into it. His face was cold but his mouth was hot as he kissed me back.

“Truce?” He asked.

“For now.” I shivered, the cold and wet of the snow starting to get to me.

“Cold?” Felix smirked.

“A tad.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” He stood up and helped pull me to my feet. “Let’s get back to the house where I can keep you warm.”

“I like the sound of that.” I held close to his arm as we made our way back to the mansion. I changed into my comfiest and warmest clothes and heated up some hot chocolate for Felix and I. We sat down in the living room where Felix already had a fire going. A bunch of cushions and blankets littered the ground.

I sat down and cuddled up next to Felix. We sipped our hot chocolate while the fire crackled and music from the record player played softly in the background. Outside the snow fell in delicate flakes. It was a moment of pure bliss.

“Did you ever think we’d be like this?” I asked.

“Like what?”

“Cuddled together like we’re old lovers.” I smiled, “I certainly didn’t when I first met you.”

“A lot has changed since then though, hasn’t it?” He matched my smile and planted a kiss to the crown of my head.

“Yes, a lot has changed.” I sighed, “It almost makes me not want to go back to Neverland. I’m just so happy being here...with you.”

“You don’t want to return to Neverland?” Felix really looked at me now. “But it’s our home.”

“I’m not saying that I never want to go back to Neverland I’m just saying that I am really enjoying this time where it’s just the two of us. No other loud boys getting in the way. No hunting for food or sleeping on the hard ground. No bathing in a pond. It’s comfy here. Safe.”

“The privacy is nice,” He traced his thumb along my cheek, “I like having you all to myself.”

“Home can be anywhere we make it. Why not make it here?”

“Is that what you’d want?” Felix said, “To stay here and grow up? We’d become boring adults. The one thing we hate more than anything.”

“I don’t think either of us could be considered boring, adult or not.” I chuckled. “I don’t like the idea of growing old and dying but if you’re there along with me getting wrinkles and grey hairs then I fear it a little less.”

“That’s a big change. A big commitment. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to grow up. It just sorta happens. It’s the passage of time.”

“Does this mean you’re done looking for a way back to Neverland?”

“We’ve been searching for weeks. We’re going on two months and we have made no progress. Absolutely none. I think it has to do with the fact that we’re happy here. We’re not looking as hard as we should because we have a good thing going already. Tell me, Felix, if we found a way back to Neverland tomorrow, would you want to take it?”

“Would you be coming with me?”

“That’s not fair. You’re asking that cause you know I would come with you regardless. I am asking if you would stay here regardless of if I was here or not.”

“Wherever you go I go. I know that’s not the question but that’s my answer. You want to go back to Neverland we go back to Neverland. You want to stay here and grow up then I’ll be right by your side for that too. We’re in this together now.”

“Felix, I--” my brain tried desperately to catch up to my heart. What was I feeling? Was this love? I don’t remember the last time I felt love. I can’t even be sure that what I’m feeling right now counts but it is the closest to love I know I have ever felt. That didn’t mean I was ready to say it out loud though. “I am so glad that I have you.”

“I’m glad I have you too.” He kissed me slowly.

The rest of our day passed in a warm haze of dreamy sighs and feather soft kisses. We barely moved from our spot in front of the fireplace. Felix got up to heat up some leftovers for dinner and came to sit back down. The night was growing late and I felt myself nodding off. I didn’t want to return to my lonely bed though. I wanted to remain right here.

I rested my head on Felix’s shoulder and shut my eyes.

~~~

Felix hadn’t meant to fall asleep in the living room. But he didn’t have much choice after you fell asleep on him. He hadn’t the heart to wake you up. Not that he would have dared move from that spot in the first place. It was such a stark contrast to the hormonal hours of makeouts you and he had engaged in over the past several days. Today was all soft touches and meaningful words.

He was surprised when you said you wanted to stay in Storybrooke but what was more surprising was that he wanted to stay here with you too. Wherever you went he would follow. If that meant staying here and growing old then he was proud to do it.

He played with your hair as you slept. You had cuddled up right next to him and next thing he knew you were fast asleep. He gently reclined so he was laying down as well. You curled into him even more. Your head resting over his heart like a pillow.

What he wouldn’t give to go to sleep like this every night. Maybe he could. From the way you talked and how easily you fell asleep next to him maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing his bed. He didn’t even think about how else that could be misconstrued. Sex was an afterthought to the peace that was having you next to him. Your face relaxed and soft snores escaped past your lips.

“I adore you.” he whispered to you as you slept. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head and fell into a dreamless sleep with you in his arms.

---

(Previous) (Next)

[pindaleng]

Merry Pitchmas @anotherbechloeshipper !!

Had so much fun writing this one, hope you enjoy it :)

Title: In From the Snow

Pairing: Bechloe

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2943

Summary: Beca didn’t anticipate making many friends her freshman year, much less become best friends with one Chloe Beale. When a snow storm ruins both their plans to travel home, they get to spend some quality time together. Beca thinks this might be her best chance to tell the other girl how she feels.

Read on AO3 or below.

Beca stared gloomily at the large flakes falling outside her dorm window.

There was no way her old Camry would be able drive more than ten miles an hour in these conditions. The forecast said “heavy snow”, but she didn’t realize it’d be this bad.

She totally would have left a few days earlier if she didn’t have a final scheduled for the absolute last day of the semester. It’s not like she was super excited about heading back home either, but she knew her dad and step mom would give her shit for it.

She sighed. Might as well text them now to rip off that band-aid.

Shortly after she sent the message, she heard a knock on her opened door.

“Hey, you’re still here!”

In the doorway stood Chloe Beale, undoubtedly the coolest person on their dorm floor. Beca (to her surprise) got along with most of the people on her floor, but something about Chloe specifically drew her in.

Admittedly, she found the other girl annoying at first, as she seemed like the high school girls that were fake nice just to talk about you behind your back. She soon learned, though, that Chloe was the real deal.

But not of course before giving her a hard time for a couple of months. Frustratingly, but thankfully, Chloe was incredibly persistent. Beca hadn’t really expected to make so many friends, intending to keep her head down and make her way through, but everyone grew on her. Especially Chloe.

“Yeah, unfortunately still here.” Beca replied. “Wanted to drive out today but doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen.”

Chloe invited herself in and hopped onto Beca’s bed. She hummed in understanding. “I just got back from the store and driving was for sure a struggle. Definitely would not recommend.”

“Great. You’re staying here too, then?”

“Yep! Which means you get to spend time with little ol’ me.” She propped her head on her hands. “Any plans for the day?”

There wasn’t really a Plan B since she didn’t expect her driving-back-home Plan A to not work out. “Not really, probably just gonna work on some mixes.”

“Can I join?”

“Yes, please make it a little less sad that I’m stuck here on Christmas Eve.”

“Sweet, I’ll be back.” Chloe slid off the bed and make her way out the room. “Don’t have too much fun without me!”

Beca just rolled her eyes and started setting up her laptop.

Chloe came back moments later with her sketchbook and colored pencils, and settled on Beca’s roommate’s bed. Both of them were friends with Stacie, so they knew she wouldn’t mind her bed being used.

They passed time peacefully like this for a couple of hours, each doing their separate thing.

Beca was so engrossed in her music that she doesn’t notice Chloe call out her name until the other girl waved at her to get her attention.

She slipped off her headphones. “What’s up?”

“I was thinking about getting some food soon. You in?”

The hunger hit her stomach now that food was mentioned. “Yeah, I could eat. Where at?” Though the dorms stayed open, dining halls were closed. There were plenty of places nearby though, and many of whom delivered. They went back and forth suggesting restaurants until Chloe looked like she had an epiphany. “We should go to that new ramen place!”

Beca’s immediate reaction was to pout, as they didn’t deliver. Chloe laughed.

“Oh come on, it’s a five minute walk, max. You big baby.” Chloe playfully poked her cheek. “Plus it’s super pretty outside.”

“And it’s super warm inside.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I’m going with or without you.”

The ultimatum was effective. Beca grumbled but put her coat on anyways. The reluctance was really just all show, as she would probably walk naked into a freezing lake for the other girl.

Snow was steadily falling outside, blanketing all the surfaces in a thick layer of white. Campus was quiet, as most of the students had already left for the holidays. It was both eerie and calming. The absence of drunk frat guys yelling, though, was definitely a plus.

“Okay I admit, it is pretty outside.” But you’re prettier. The automatic thought was so cheesy she almost threw up a bit in her mouth. Since when did she think such gross things? She could practically see Stacie smirking annoyingly at her.

Chloe grinned in victory, and Beca’s heart swooped.

Her brain definitely wasn’t lying though: Chloe was undoubtedly beautiful. The snowflakes in Chloe’s hair contrasted perfectly with the red color, making her look like some sort of magazine model. It felt kind of unfair that she could exist like that and not know what she was doing to poor Beca’s soul.

—

When the waitress asked if they needed one or two checks, Chloe replied “just one” before Beca could get a word in.

As the waitress walked away, Beca sent a questioning look to the redhead.

Chloe shrugged, “It’s easier for them to just run a single card.” Beca offered to pay her back, but she insisted it to be a holiday present. If Beca didn’t know better, she would have swore it was a date.

They were on their way back to the dorms when Beca felt something hit the back of her head.

She whipped around. “Hey!”

Chloe was already packing another snowball, clearly out for blood. She quickly launched that one too, which Beca barely managed to sidestep. She bent down to create her own snow projectile.

Chloe began to run away to get out of range, so Beca went to chase her. Unfortunately, Beca slipped on the snow and fell. Chloe was immediately at her side. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

The snow cushioned her fall pretty well, but Beca didn’t want to give that away just yet. She faked a grimace. “I think I broke my leg.”

“Oh shit.” Chloe furrowed her eyebrows in worry. “I’m so sorry I-“

Beca felt too bad that she immediately stopped her. “I’m joking, I’m actually fine.”

It took a moment to register, and then Chloe slapped her on the arm. “You scared me!”

Beca rubbed the spot where she was hit. “Ok now I actually have to go to the hospital.”

Chloe just slapped her arm again, before offering a hand to pull her up. Beca took it but didn’t get up. Chloe looked confused as Beca smirked, and then pulled the other girl down into the snow with her. She fell on her face in the fresh snow with a satisfying poof.

“Oh my god, you asshole.” Chloe laughed after pulling her face up, and shoved at the other girl, who was still laying in the snow.

“Chlo you have a beard.” Beca was practically wheezing at the sight of Chloe having snow stuck all over her face. “Still hot though.”

Chloe modeled it, striking poses and getting up to walk down an imaginary runway, while Beca yelled after her, hyping her up.

They messed around in the snow for a while longer, then took the long way back. Beca considered complaining about the cold and wet seeping in, but Chloe just looked so happy. Plus, it really was nice outside. Walking with Chloe in the peace of campus was a moment Beca wanted to keep tucked in her pocket forever.

—

After getting back, they went to take showers (separately) to warm themselves up, deciding to reconvene later in Chloe’s room. Beca sat on her bed with her hair in a towel, scrolling through her phone. She opened a message from Stacie, who was definitely one of her best friends in college so far. She flew out a couple of days ago and told Beca not to “get too freaky” while she was gone. Beca practically shoved her out the door.

Stacie [6:31 pm]: You make it home?

Beca [7:13 pm]: No, stuck here. Stupid snow.

A reply immediately came in.

Stacie [7:13 pm]: Ugh that sucks, are you by yourself then?

Beca hesitated on what exactly to say, knowing Stacie would immediately make fun of her for the truth.

Beca [7:15 pm]: Not exactly…..Chloe is also still here

Stacie [7:16 pm]: !!!!!!!!!!

Stacie [7:16 pm]: BECA

Stacie [7:16 pm]: THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

Beca [7:17 pm]: Dude she doesn’t like me

Stacie [7:18 pm]: Do NOT bother coming back to campus if you don’t shoot your shot right now

Stacie [7:19 pm]: Joking but also not

Stacie [7:19 pm]: She hangs out w you all the time. She actually listens to your music recs. Plz do something.

Stacie [7:20 pm]: Ok talk later family is calling for dinner, good luck!!!!!

Beca [7:21 pm]: ??? I’m going to ignore that you basically implied not listening to any of the music I’ve suggested

She fell back onto her bed. She wanted to make a move, and she did feel like there could be something between them. However, each time Chloe was nice to someone else, she got psyched out believing that Chloe was always just being platonically nice to her. No flirting involved.

With each passing day, though, it became harder to deny she wanted her. And how badly she did. She caught herself staring a bit too long, and hung endlessly on the small touches Chloe would always do. A brush of the finger here, and a hair tucked behind an ear there. Beca thought some days she might explode.

She texted Chloe to ask if she was ready yet.

Chloe [7:25 pm]: Sorry got distracted!! Hopping in the shower now.

With the extra time, Beca decided to finish the mix she was working on earlier that day. There was something off about it that she couldn’t quite figure out, but coming back to it now, she figured out what it was missing. She listened to it a few times to make sure she was really happy with it before mastering it.

A text came in from Chloe, letting her know she could come over whenever.

Beca quickly added the song to a USB which already contained many music files, then placed the drive into a small pink, cardboard box she got from Stacie. The box originally held a necklace, which made it the perfect size for her gift.

She stashed it in her sweater pocket then made her way to Chloe’s room in the other wing of the floor.

It was still relatively early in the night, so Chloe suggested a movie. Beca wasn’t one for movies usually, but it wasn’t like she had any better ideas.

They cuddled together on the small dorm bed in Chloe’s den of pillows, with the laptop in front of them. The movie was actually pretty good, despite all the bad decisions the main character kept making, and the fact that Beca missed half the plot due to glancing at Chloe instead, and being nervous about how close they were.

“Thoughts?” Chloe turned down the volume as the credits began to roll.

“I think she should have gone with the second guy.”

“Really? I thought he was kind of iffy.”

They proceeded have a lively discussion about the movie, with Beca continuing to argue mostly to mess with Chloe, who seemed quite adamant about the main character’s end choice of romantic partner. It ended with Chloe tickling her until Beca finally admitted her defeat.

“Okay, close your eyes.”

Beca looked at Chloe warily, still catching her breath from the tickling attack. “Um, why?”

“Just do it.”

She sighed but did as she was told.

“No peeking!”

Her index finger drew a cross above her heart, signaling her promise to not look.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

In front of her was a piece of paper carefully rolled into a tube and bound with a red bow. Beca picked it up, gingerly untying the ribbon, unraveling her gift. Her jaw dropped.

“Chloe…”

In her hands was a pencil sketch of her with headphones on, smiling and almost on the verge of laughing. Honestly, she never thought about what she looked like while she was happy. The image of herself in her mind was always some version of broody. Is this how Chloe saw her? Beca wasn’t one to usually cry, but she might have teared up a bit.

“This is…incredible.”

Chloe looked kind of nervous. The same way that Beca was protective of showing others her music, Chloe was hesitant to show much of her art. “You like it?”

“Dude I love it. Seriously.” That reassurance seemed to put Chloe at ease. “Okay, your turn to close your eyes.”

Chloe did it without hesitation, and also held out her hands. Beca shook her head a bit in amusement and placed the small box into her palm.

“Okay, open.”

She opened her eyes and lifted the lid of the box to find a black USB drive, with a piece of tape on the side simply labeled “For Chloe”.

Her smile widened as she realized what her present was. “Do I get to finally listen to your music?”

“Maybe.”

“It means a lot, Beca. Thank you.”

“Um yeah, no problem. Don’t tell me if you end up thinking it’s bad.” She joked.

“Oh please, you’re going to have to block me with how many good things I’ll say.”

“Don’t tempt me, I might delete your contact right now.”

Chloe laughed. “Oh please, like you could last a day without me. Also, I actually have another present for you.” She scotched a bit closer to Beca.

“Oh,” Beca furrowed her eyebrows. “Well, I don’t have anything el-“

She was swiftly cut off as Chloe kissed her, soft and sweet. So polite and unassuming it almost felt platonic.

But god did it give Beca butterflies.

Chloe pulled away so quickly that Beca wasn’t sure it even happened. Like maybe she just daydreamed too hard and manifested a hallucination.

She must have had a deer in the headlights look because Chloe suddenly got super shy. “Was that okay?” She whispered, face still close.

Beca finally came to her senses. “Yeah, totally. More than okay. Amazing really.” She must look like a blushing mess.

The corner of Chloe’s mouth quirked up in amusement and relief. “Yeah?”

“Still could be better, though.” Good work Beca, make a joke to regain some semblance of having her shit together.

“Oh?” She watched Chloe lick her lips, a mesmerizing motion. The shyness was all but gone, replaced by something much more confident, and destined to ruin Beca’s life. And she knew she’d welcome it with open arms.

—

Beca woke up in the morning to the light touch of fingers trailing along her jaw. She smiled, remembering where she was, and more importantly, who was besides her. She probably had the best night of sleep in her life. “Can’t keep your hands off of me, Beale?” She asked, keeping her eyes closed.

“Are you going to try and stop me?” Chloe whispered. Her raspy morning voice was really so damn attractive.

She opened one eye, smiling. “I wouldn’t dare.”

“Good.” Chloe leaned in for a long kiss, the hand on her face pulling Beca closer. Her breath hitched. She didn’t think she could ever get used to this. Kissing Chloe Beale. Touching her.

She pulled away all too soon, just as Beca began to want her even more. Beca was quickly learning how much of a tease Chloe was.

“i’m going to get ready, and then maybe we can go get breakfast somewhere?”

“Or…we can stay in bed all day.”

Chloe giggled, and Beca almost professed her love. “Becs, both of us gotta head home.”

“Do we though?”

Chloe just smiled as she slipped out of bed and grabbed her toothbrush and face towel. Before she was completely out the door, she gave her butt a little shake, as if she could tell Beca was staring at her clad in a large t-shirt and sleep shorts. Beca was sure Chloe was smirking as she did it.

As soon as she was out of sight, Beca grabbed her phone from the desk. A text from her dad and a couple from Stacie. She opened the messages from the latter.

Stacie [11:13 pm]: How’d it go?

Stacie [11:30 pm]: I’m assuming the silence is a good thing and ur just too busy making out with Chloe to reply ;)

Beca typed out a quick message.

Beca [9:30 am]: So…..

Stacie [9:30 am]: THIS BETTER BE GOOD NEWS

Beca [9:31 am]: How do you keep replying so quickly??

Stacie [9:31 am]: How about you stop avoiding

Beca thought of the million different things she could say, but opted for simplicity.

Beca [9:32 am]: :)

Stacie [9:33 am]: Is that good

Stacie [9:33 am]: Beca is that good

Stacie [9:34 am]: ?????

She set her phone down, feeling giddy. It might have been a bit cruel to leave Stacie hanging, but she’d get over it. She’d get the full story eventually, but right now, Beca wanted to keep as much of this thing with Chloe to herself as possible. Definitely not like a shameful secret, though.

Something about telling someone about it, however vaguely, made last night and this morning seem actually real.  She had this feeling deep in her chest that this was the start of something incredible, which made her both excited and a bit scared. Ok a lot scared. Terrified even.

It sucked that they’d have be apart right as they were starting something. Winter break couldn’t be over soon enough.

[seriouslyhooked]

Can’t Say No (At Christmas)

CS one-shot set in the future. Hope is three and Emma and Killian are still very much in the throws of a happily ever after, but Killian wants to do something special for Emma for Christmas. With the help of their family and the town, he manages to fulfill a Christmas wish for his wife in exactly the kind of over-the-top fluffy and sweet way you’d expect from me. Includes holiday surprises, Christmas cheer, and a healthy dash of true love. Rated T. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey all! I really did not know if I was going to be able to get this drabble done, but I am so happy to say that I did and to share it with you all tonight. I know that this Christmas is going to be so different for so many of us, and that it has been a hard year of uncertainty and stress. My gift to our little fandom is this story, focused on Emma and Killian a few years after we got to see them in the show. It’s inspired by the spirit of Christmas, the cheesiness that only Hallmark movies can provide, and the song ‘No Problem’ by Dylan Schneider. I love the idea that Killian cannot deny Emma anything, and that at Christmas he has to make Emma’s wishes come true. I hate to spoil any more of this, but I will just say thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

“I don’t know how the hell you pulled this off, mate, but I got to hand it to you, this is really something special.”

The words David uttered from the bottom of the ladder were high praise, despite the dig at Killian’s favorite endearment. Tonight though, Killian would let the jab slide. He simply didn’t have the time or energy to pretend to argue with Emma’s father. Instead he hustled down the rungs and back to solid ground beside his friend. He took stock of the room once more, running his hand through his hair and tracing each corner of the barn with his gaze. There was very little about the place that was recognizable. It had been sufficiently transformed, from an old, dusty tomb of farm equipment, to a space fit for the evening ahead.

“It pays to be a good guy in the end,” Killian joked. Playing up the early days of their knowing each other when Killian was anything but a hero. “Turns out I’ve helped quite a lot of people these past few years. They were eager to return the favor.”

“That’s true enough, but I think the fact that you did this all for Emma plays a big part too.”

There was no doubt about that, and the mere reminder of his wife brought a smile to his lips. She was going to be surprised by this, and there was nothing that he loved more than surprising his Swan. Killian could hardly wait for the look of excitement that would spread across her face, and the light that would appear in her jade colored eyes. Her cheeks would flush from realization, and her hands would move unbiddenly, as if she couldn’t quite contain the excitement or suspense. Emma was always the most beautiful of women, and a miracle to be sure, but when treated to a gift that was truly worthy of her, she was transcendent, his own personal star and tempting taste of heaven.

“Any word from Snow?” Killian asked, checking his watch and seeing they had made good time, despite the hecticness of the day. He had enough time to catch a shower and prepare himself, but he needed to be sure that Emma and Hope were sufficiently occupied in the meantime.

“Better – she sent a video while you were hanging the last of the garland.”

David offered his phone and Killian laughed at the sight. Snow and Emma had taken Neal and Hope out of town to a nearby ski resort that was hosting all sorts of winter activities for kids. In the video Emma, Hope, and Neal were all making snow angels, until Neal gave the signal and he and Hope pivoted to throwing snowballs at Emma. The only problem was Hope was far too little and bundled up in snow gear to be effective. She was having the time of her life though, and at the end of the video, Emma scooped their daughter up and nuzzled her close, bestowing a kiss on her curly brown hair, which had escaped its winter cap. Hope was a dazzling blend of him and Emma, but her goodness and ability to inspire love was totally her mother’s doing.

“Perfect. You good here for the time being?” David nodded, pivoting from his assistant role to commander in chief with the quickness of one-time prince. Content that his tasks were in good hands, Killian headed out, eager to put the next parts of his plan in place.

Things moved quickly from there. He showered and readied himself for the kind of night his Emma had imagined, ignoring the strangeness of his reflection as he did. He would never feel quite right in these damn tuxedos, but Emma’s wish was specific and it included the blasted suit. It also included a number of gifts for Emma and for Hope, which he pulled from the one place in the house Emma never ventured to – the garage. From the back of the storage space there, he grabbed a number of boxes that he’d stuffed away last week, and brought them all inside. After checking the contents were free from any water or dirt, he was convinced things were as they should be, and he left the gifts underneath the Christmas tree.

The only thing left to craft was the note for Emma that would set her surprise in motion. He hadn’t dared to write it out before, wanting to save it for this moment. It felt right to speak from the heart and to put in words exactly how he felt tonight. Still, it took time to get the letter exactly right, and he must admit he grew a bit sentimental when crafting it. A time or two he fell into recent and more distant memories of their lives together, feeling the warmth in his soul that could only ever come from the truest love. Luckily, he had enough of his wits about him and time was on his side. Soon he heard the sound of a car pulling up the drive just as he closed the envelope with Emma’s name and placed it on the tree, and with the stealth accrued in his past life, he slipped out the back door just before his girls came in.

“Mama, look! Santa came early,” he heard Hope say as he quietly rounded the side of the house. For a moment he was truly tempted to steal a look and watch this scene play out, but he reminded himself that there was still more to be done, and instead headed down the street to where a not so patiently waiting Snow was parked.

“Killian, thank God! I thought you’d never get here!” she exclaimed as he opened the door, but before he could reply, young Neal let his own thoughts be known.

“Mom, it’s been like sixty seconds. Literally. Look, I timed it on the stopwatch Henry gave me. 63 seconds.

“No, has it only been a minute? I’m so excited I can’t tell. It feels like forever. I was waiting for this all day. It was so hard not to spill the beans.”

“But you didn’t, right?” Killian checked, pivoting to Neal for the truth. When the boy gave him a thumbs up, he let out a breath. “Good. But it all might be for not if we don’t get a move on.”

“Oh, right. We’ve got to go. We’ve got a Christmas miracle to deliver.” Neal groaned at the words and Killian remained quiet prompting Snow to ask the question, “Sorry, too cheesy?”

“For tonight? No, strangely it’s just right.”

And with that, they pulled away from the curb, headed back towards the barn and the long-awaited surprise.

……………….

“Mama, look! Santa came! Santa came!”

At first Emma didn’t understand the words from her daughter. She was just trying to get her bearings after peeling the snow clothes off of Hope and discarding her own jacket on the hook by the door. Her boots were barely off and her scarf was still wound around her neck. She couldn’t imagine how Hope still had so much energy, but then she remembered – three year olds were like comic book characters, with a super power of endless energy.

“Christmas Eve is tomorrow, honey,” Emma said, righting her clothes and letting go of a big breath, before walking towards the living room. “Two more sleeps until Santa.”

“But look, Mama, pwesents!”

Emma followed her daughters pointing finger across the way, and low and behold there were gifts under the tree that had not been there this morning. Her curiosity was peaked, but when she saw the white envelope secured in the branches of their evergreen tree, she had an inkling of what was happening.

“Killian,” she murmured walking forward, and running her fingertips across the delicate paper.

“Daddy?” Hope asked excitedly, and Emma nodded as she opened the envelope, only to fight off tears of love when she read the letter.

My Dearest Emma,

There are no gifts that I could ever give you that compare to all you’ve given me. I know and accept that, but this time of year is different. It’s a season predicated on love, light, and yes, even a bit of magic. So I had to try, for your sake and for mine.

Christmas is about showing the people you love what they mean to you. It’s about giving love and feeling love, and knowing that even in the dark of a winter night, there is hope and light ahead. It’s about reminding loved ones that you care, that you’re rooting for them, and that their dreams are your dreams too. You taught me that, you and Hope and Henry, and I swear to you that all I could ever want is to make you happy, and to grant the wishes you carry in your heart.

“Ooo, pwetty,” Hope said, dragging Emma’s eyes down to where her daughter had already begun opening the parcels below. Inside the white garment box was a gorgeous crimson colored dress, breathtaking in its elegant design. The satin and the beading were exquisite, and the color was to die for, and like something from a dream. Hope offered the box to her, knowing even at age three that it wasn’t the right size for her. “For you, Mama.”

“Thank you, princess,” Emma said, taking the box in hand, wanting to look at it in full, but knowing the letter was still more important.

You are everything to me, Emma. Everything and so much more. You and our children hold my whole universe in your hands. Tonight, I hope to take your hand in mine, and remind you that in life, all you really need is the perfect partner.

“He didn’t,” Emma whispered, looking down from the letter which had been signed with love by her pirate. Then she looked at the other presents Hope was opening. A beautiful pair of heels, a white fur muff, and a necklace that sparkled, along with all the same things for Hope that were more their daughter’s style and perfect for her size. The last gift was another envelope, with a card. On the top in cursive script it read ‘Selected Suitors for Emma Jones’ and the only name was Killian’s. “Oh my god, he did. It’s a dance. He planned a Christmas dance for me.”

“Dance?” Hope asked and Emma crouched down to help her daughter really open her own garment box, where a beautiful princess-style dress was waiting for her. As soon as she saw it Hope let out a sound of pure delight, clapping her hands together at a hastened clip. At that moment, the front door opened, and Emma looked, expecting to see Killian but instead seeing her son, dressed up in a tuxedo and looking downright dashing. It would have been a shock either way, but this year, when she’d been bracing herself for her son being away for the holiday, it felt like an even greater gift.

“Henry?” she asked, as Hope bolted for her brother. Instinctively, Henry scooped her up, accepting all her hugs and kisses before turning his eyes back to Emma.

“Surprise! Well, part of it anyway. But we’ve got to get a move on, or we’ll be late.”

“Where are we going?” Hope asked. Henry responded by whispering in her ear, low enough that Emma couldn’t hear. Whatever he said made Hope gasp. “Really? We’re going there?”

“Sure are. But we have to get ready. Don’t worry, Mom, I’ve got Hope. You do what you need to do.”

Emma was spurred into motion, grabbing the gifts marked for her and heading upstairs. In thirty minutes, she and Hope were both ready for whatever awaited them, and though Emma had her suspicions, she was in no way prepared when they arrived at the old McDonald farm. Pulling around back to the barn, there were dozens of people milling around. Everyone in town was here tonight, dressed up and partaking in merriment, but when they left the car and walked inside, Emma was truly stunned.

“It’s beautiful,” she said aloud, taking in the gorgeous decorations. The space was totally transformed, a perfect blend of rustic refinement. The colors were vivid and vibrant, the air was warm and filled with the scent of cinnamon and honey, and the joy here was palpable. There was a buzzing electricity that crackled in the air. This was what all those Christmas movies strove to recreate but could never quite capture, and Emma took it all in knowing that her husband had made this just for her.

Scanning the room for him, Emma was first greeted with the sight of her Mom and Dad and brother. They came forward immediately, hugging her and Hope and Henry and extending their thoughts.

“Oh, honey, you look spectacular!” her mother exclaimed with tears in her eyes, holding her hands and looking at her red dress. It was a truly wonderous design, that hugged every one of Emma’s curves just right while still feeling of the season. It was classic and timeless and more than a little sexy, but it was appropriate for the night, when everyone was dressed to the nines.

“So do you guys,” Emma said honestly, taking in her mom’s sapphire ball gown, and her Dad and brother’s tuxes.

“I’m a princess, Grandpa,” Hope said happily and Emma’s father immediately agreed as the band began to play a slower melody.

“There’s no denying that. Care to dance with me, Princess Hope?” He asked, bowing to her daughter. Hope giggled but took Emma’s hand instinctively, looking at her for permission and clarity.

“What about you, Mama?”

“Don’t worry, sprout,” Henry said nodding across the room and using his favorite nickname for his sister. “Dad’s got her taken care of.”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of Killian, as if this was a first date and not years into their marriage. She couldn’t help the butterflies swarming within her, and then, like magic the crowd of people parted, and there, across the room was her man. It should have come as no surprise how handsome he would look. Emma was well versed in how roguishly hot her pirate could be, but in a tux it was a whole other story. Maybe it was the rarity of seeing him like this, or maybe Killian was just one of those men who was born to wear a tux, but either way she was struck by him. Everything seemed to stop around her, and all she could sense was the man who completely owned her heart.

A few moments later they were together again. Emma hadn’t even realize she’d been walking towards him, and him to her, but when he took her hand she felt her blood hum in anticipation. She was caught in his eyes, sensing the mixture of love and desire that was so intoxicating, and waiting for him to speak, because words in this moment truly failed her.

“You look stunning, Swan,” he said to her, the gravel of his tone washing over her and sending a shiver down her spine in that delicious kind of way. “The fantasies I’d conjured in my mind’s eye could never do you justice.”

“So you were fantasizing about this, huh?” she asked, her voice thready as she turned, purposefully taunting him with a view of all her best angles. This time he let out a low growl that spiked her desire to tease him. God damn, there were people around! How could she be this hot and bothered? Oh right, she was married to a sinfully attractive and impossibly romantic man. This was par for the course.

“Aye, love, and I promise those musings will prove more than satisfactory when we get home.” His voice dipped low and she swallowed hard, trying to tamp down her own building need. Then something shifted in his eyes, and she knew before he said a word that something immensely thoughtful was about to be shared. “I hope it’s everything that you wanted, love. Those blasted ‘Hallmark towns’ have a lot more built-in Christmas cheer than Storybrooke, but all it took was a hint that this was what you wanted, and everyone came together.”

It dawned on her that the wish he was referring to was one that she’d made a few weekends ago when they were laying in bed watching TV. She usually skipped the Hallmark Christmas extravaganza, but this year she was feeling sentimental. Maybe it was the fact that Hope was finally hitting an age where she was starting to understand the season, or more likely it was the pregnancy hormones from their little one on the way. She was only twelve weeks along, and wasn’t even showing yet, but her self-coined pregnancy induced crazy brain was in full swing, and had been from the start. The only thing getting her through most days was Killian, and then he went and did something like this… it was too much for her, she couldn’t take it.

“I love you,” she confessed, blurting it out like it was some big secret instead of established fact. “Like a lot. A lot a lot.”

“A lot a lot,” Killian parroted with a grin, pulling her with him out to the dance floor before taking her in his arms. She melded into his muscled physique, trying not to swoon as the melody carried them away.

“You know I’m not as good at the whole poetic declarations thing as you are.”

“Few can be, love,” he joked. She raised her brow at him in quiet consternation, and he only laughed before turning her into a low dip on the dance floor and reminding her that he was in total control of himself out here. “But where words might fail you, action is your strong suit. You show me every day how much you love me, Emma. And every day I thank my lucky stars to have that love.”

He made a fair point. Emma was, after all, a woman of action, and so she decided to take some now. Though they were dancing, she stalled their moment to pull him in for a kiss, giving them both a taste of what was to come when the night drew to a close. The sparks between them ignited instantly, and without looking, Emma knew some of her magic was radiating from within. When they pulled apart she was almost dizzy from the delight, but Killian was even more effected. He had that boyish grin of his in full display, and that tiny hint of bashfulness that came when he’d done something really well. Only when she heard the oohing and aahing of the people around them did she realize their magic had created stars along the ceiling of the barn, making it appear that they were all dancing under an inky black sky bursting with constellations.

From a distance, Emma heard her daughter ask if it was ‘magic time’ now, but before she and Killian needed to step in, Regina told her ‘Not tonight, kid,’ and Henry whisked her off for her another dance. This gave Emma and Killian time, time to enjoy the fruits of all he’d done, and to revel in this moment for as long as they could.

“Merry Christmas, Killian. You’ve made it so perfect, I never want it to end.”

“What is it they say in those movies, love? Oh right – every day is Christmas when we’re together.”

And even though it was horribly corny, and she should have rolled her eyes at such a lame joke, Emma found that she couldn’t. She was simply too happy and grateful to feign otherwise. Instead she savored every moment of their Christmas dance, and the night they shared thereafter, knowing this would be one of the best days she’d ever had, and that somehow, some way, her pirate would find other means of making the future just as bright.

……………………

Girl I got a no problem Yeah, it's a bad habit, the way I gotta have it With or without you around All ya gotta do is call me, and tell me that you're lonely You're always stringing me out Yeah, they say the first step to quitting it Is admitting it, so here it is Girl, I think I got a no problem On my hands, 'cause I can't say no to you Once you start you know I can't stop it Even if I wanted to Yeah, I get tongue tied every time I try To do what I oughta do Girl, I got a no problem Yeah, 'cause I can't say no to you Girl, I should know better, yeah, I should know never To let you in just to leave If it's just two letters, then why can't I ever Find a way to piece 'em together Let's say the first step to quitting it Is admitting it, I'm admitting it, here it is Girl, I think I got a no problem On my hands, 'cause I can't say no to you Once you start you know I can't stop it Even if I wanted to Yeah, I get tongue tied every time I try To do what I oughta do Girl, I got a no problem Yeah, 'cause I can't say no to you Those smokey blue eyes staring back at me Yeah, you already know if you're asking me What the answer's always gonna be It's gonna be, yeah Girl, I think I got a no problem On my hands, 'cause I can't say no to you Once you start you know I can't stop it Even if I wanted to Yeah, I get tongue tied every time I try To do what I oughta do Girl, I got a no problem Yeah, 'cause I can't say no to you Those smokey blue eyes staring back at me Can't say no to you Yeah, you already know if you're asking me Girl, I got a no problem That the answer's always gonna be 'Cause I can't say no to you Girl, I got a no problem 'Cause I can't say no to you

Post-Note: So, what did you think? Hopefully you enjoyed this little dose of holiday cuteness and none of this is offensive in any way or to any story line. Most of you know I never watched the last season of the show, so I don’t know what they say happened to Henry and everybody. I only knew Emma and Killian did eventually have a baby girl named Hope. Anyway, I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and healthy holiday season. I am grateful for you all, from the ride or die readers who comment on every post, to the people passing by who just wanted a little bit of Christmas cheer. You are such a force for good in my world, whoever you are, and I thank you for your light and kindness in these trying time. I wish you all the best this Christmas and in the New Year, and more than anything I wish you love! Sending my best vibes your way now and always, xE.

The Captain Swan Mixtape oneshot series:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189, Part 190, Part 191, Part 192, Part 193, Part 194, Part 195

[kelseaaa]

Hii, can you do #23 for Bryce x MC!!! I adored how you write them before and I love to see more of it!! 💕 have a nice day/night! ❤

Sorry for the delay! Finally had some time to write. It’s a bit longer than I planned so most of it is under the cut. I hope you enjoy it!

Prompt:

23. Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Casey Valentine)

Warnings: Some suggestiveness, little angst and fluff

~~~~~

Why Don’t You Stay

“You know, Bryce. If you had told me that your new place was on the fifth floor and that the elevator didn’t work, I would have reconsidered helping you,” Jackie complained as she made her way up the steps for the third time that day.

“Yeah,” Rafael agreed with a huff, “I mean, I’m all for a good work out, but this is a little much.”

Bryce, who was several steps ahead of them, grumbled under his breath. He didn’t know the elevator was going to be out that day. It had worked the last two days when he and Keiki brought the furniture up to their brand new apartment. But of course, the day his friends could help with the last few boxes, it wasn’t working.

“Leave him alone,” Sienna reprimanded her roommates, wiping sweat off her forehead with the sleeve of her shirt. “It isn’t that bad. Plus, since there’s the four of us we’re already almost done!”

Jackie rolled her eyes as she shifted the box in her hand. “There would have been five if the elevator worked,” she griped. Elijah planned on helping but quickly said goodbye when they found out the elevator was down. Truthfully, he was more than happy to head back home and spend his day off in front of the TV.

“Look, guys,” Bryce began as he continued up the last leg of steps to his floor. “I’m sorry about the elevator. But I promise pizza and cold beer will be waiting for us as soon as we get everything in.”

There were several mumbled of “fine” and “there better be” from behind him, but no one else said a word until they made their way into Bryce’s new apartment. It was surprisingly modern given the older building they had moved into. Recently upgraded and remodeled. Bryce was just happy he found a two-bedroom, two-bath so close to Edenbrook.

“So where’s your sister?” Jackie asked, setting down her box on the floor next to the kitchen table, then taking one of the seats.

“School,” Bryce replied cooly from his place on the couch next to Sienna.

Rafael sat down at the table next to Jackie and took a gulp from his water bottle. “And Casey?” he asked.

Bryce bristled at the sound of her name while Jackie and Sienna flashed each other a knowing look. Rafael noticed the shift in the air and looked around the room with a puzzled expression before speaking again. “What did I say?”

There was a beat of silence, then Sienna finally chimed in, “she’s at work.”

It wasn’t a lie, she really was working that morning. However, no one else wanted to mention the real reason why she didn’t ask off that day to help Bryce move. No one wanted to bring up the fight that Bryce and Casey had when Casey asked him if he wanted her to move in and instead of him agreeing immediately, he shrugged his shoulders and replied with “I mean, if you want.”

What Brye meant to say was “yes, of course, please. There’s no one else I would rather be with than you.” But instead, he thought acting “cool” and “not clingy” as he claimed would be the better option. He wasn’t scared of the commitment, he welcomed it. But he was scared that maybe she would realize that he was the one she wanted. That maybe she would realize it was a mistake.

That conversation which should have been simple - a no-brainer - turned into a massive snowball of a fight which resulted in Casey literally pushing Bryce out of her penthouse and into the cold Boston street to walk home by himself.

That was three weeks ago. Casey had barely said two words to him, only conversing when medically necessary for work. Keiki berated him, calling him a fool for letting her just go. He already knew that, and it didn’t help to hear it from his little sister every day.

Bryce knew all her roommates would have heard about what happened. Judging by their silence and worried looks alone, they were painfully aware of how stupid he had been. What they probably didn’t know is how much he really wanted Casey to be there. How bad he wanted her to be the other person moving her things into this apartment. How he wanted to share the large king-size bed he had purchased specifically for her - for them.

“Hey,” Jackie said, breaking Bryce was his thoughts. Her voice was surprisingly soft and kind. “I think there are only a couple more boxes. Let’s go, guys.”

Without another word, the group stood up and made their way back down the five flights of stairs to grab the remaining boxes. They worked quietly, quickly finishing up within the hour. And true to his words, pizza and beer were waiting for them once they were done.

~~~~~

“How was school?” Bryce asked from the kitchen as he pulled plates and cups out of one box to put in one of the cabinets.

“Boooooring,” Keiki replied from the living room where she was working on her homework.

Bryce made his way out of the kitchen and plopped down on the couch next to his sister. “Well, what’s new there?” he said with a laugh. Keiki nudged her elbow into his side but smiled nonetheless.

“Were you able to get everything from the old place?” Keiki asked, her eyes never wavering from the math problem on the sheet in front of her.

“Yep! Turned in the keys before I left.”

Keiki nodded her head thoughtfully but didn’t verbally respond.

“I’m gonna go unpack my room. Don’t stay up too late, okay?” Bryce said as he stood from the couch. Keiki simply waved him off then stuck pulled her headphones over her ears.

Once Bryce was in his room, he looked around the space, taking in the many boxes, laundry baskets of clean clothes, and the large, unmade bed in the center. He let out a sigh, then walked over to one of the boxes he was pretty sure held all his sheets and blankets. He silently cursed himself when he remembered forgoing to label the boxes with their specific items, instead of just putting “B” and “bedroom” on it.

However, when he opened the box, he soon realized it was not his sheets, but instead the box that held the contents of his side table drawer. And there, at the very top, was a picture frame. And in that frame, was a photo of him and Casey at a small nightclub where they had their first “date,” if you could call it that.

Bryce just stood there for a while, staring down at the frame in his hand. He remembered the day he had removed it from his wall and threw it in his drawer, unable to look at it any longer. It was the day after Casey had asked to move in and he essentially said he didn’t care - idiot. He had tried to call her but she didn’t answer. All his texts were left on read and voicemails were not returned. After a while he had gotten angry and grabbed the frame and threw it in, snapping the drawer shut.

He wouldn’t admit it, but that was the first time he had cried since starting at Edenbrook. 

Bryce let out a strangled sigh as he moved over to the nightstand and sat the photo down. If he wasn’t able to physically have her there, the photo would have to do. He continued looking through his boxes, putting things away, and eventually finding his bedding. As he looked down at the freshly made bed, he couldn’t help but feel the ache in his chest, realizing he would be sleeping alone in his new place.

“What are you looking at?”

Bryce’s heart stuttered in his chest and his eyes grew wide. He knew that voice. Longed to hear it for weeks. He quickly spun around and there she was, long, blonde hair pulled back into a messy bun and emerald colored eyes staring right at him.

“Casey?” he said almost breathlessly. “What… What are you doing here? How did you?”

“Sienna gave me the address and Keiki let me in,” she said matter of factly, like that was the answer he expected.

“But-”

“Don’t,” Casey said, effectively cutting him off. “I… I want to apologize.”

“Casey, you don’t-” she held up her hand, silencing him once again. He nodded wordlessly and let her continue. She shouldn’t be the one apologizing, it should be him. But he wasn’t going to mess this up by not keeping his big mouth shut.

“I’m sorry I tried to force you into something you clearly didn’t want. I thought that maybe this was the next step in our relationship and that you wanted me here, but I must have misread everything. I’m sorry for lashing out at you and breaking up with you.”

Bryce wanted to scream. He wanted to run over and grab her, take her in his arms, and never let her go. But he waited.

She continued. “I understand that I was moving too fast, but I’m here because… Because I still love you and want to be with you. Even if you’re not ready for this step. I just hope you feel the same way. If not then I’ll go and move on and leave you-”

It was Bryce’s turn to cut her off. And he did, by running to her, grabbing her, and pressing his lips to hers in a heated kiss. He was nervous, scared even, when her body went stiff in his arms. But then she was kissing him back. Her hands coming up to the nape of his neck, fingers sliding into perfectly styled hair. They kissed and kissed and soon his bedroom door was closed behind them. Clothes were shed on new flooring. Then a brand new, freshly made bed was broken in. They shared gentle touches and loving caresses, saying “I’m sorry” and “I missed you” between their love.

Minutes, hours, or maybe even days later - Bryce didn’t bother to keep track - the two laid between the sheets, wrapped in each other's arms. Bryce’s hands ran up and down the smooth skin of her back and Casey’s fingers traced along his abdomen, mapping invisible constellations that only she could see.

“Casey,” Bryce said, his voice a barely above a hoarse whisper when he spoke. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”

Casey stopped her hand and looked up to gaze into her boyfriend's eyes. “You don’t have to.”

“I do,” he began, “and I owe you an explanation.”

Bryce continued on, telling her how he wanted nothing more for her to move him but that he was just so scared. Scared of his feelings and what she might think if she knew how desperately he wanted her to move in. Scared that one day she would realize that it was a mistake - he was a mistake - and want to leave. Scared to be a regret.

When Bryce finished spilling his heart out, there was silence. He was looking at the ceiling, unable to meet her eyes. He knew that the moment they did, the tear would come. He wasn’t ready for that yet.

But then Casey had to go and grip his chin. The pads of her fingers were gentle, feather-like, as they tilting his face down. And he was right, the brim of his eyes filled with wet which, surprisingly, matched hers, as well.

“Bryce Lahela,” she said, her voice stern but still so full of adoration that Bryce wanted to look away. But he didn’t. “I would never regret you. I would never call you a mistake. I love you and will be here for you for as long as you want me.”

Bryce couldn’t speak, instead, he leaned down and met her lips with his again. He kissed her with fervor, stealing the air from her lungs as his mouth devoured hers in a searing kiss that left them both dizzy.

“I’m such an idiot,” he admitted once they pulled away for air.

Casey laughed. “Yeah, you kind of are.” Her eyes wandered past him and landed on the nightstand next to the bed. She smiled. “I love that picture of us.”

Bryce turned his head and stared at the photo of them he had placed earlier in the night. “You do?” He asked.

Casey nodded her head. “Very much. That was the day I started to fall for you,” she admitted, her eyes gleaming with the memory.

Bryce smiled. “You mean it wasn’t when we made out in the supply closet our first day?” he joked. Casey pinched his side, causing him to yelp and retaliate with dozens of kisses over her face, neck, and chest until she was effectively out of breath.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Bryce turned his body so they were face-to-face in the massive bed. He inhaled deeply before opening his mouth to speak. “Say you’ll stay,” he said, his heart so full is strained desperately in his chest.

Her fingers deftly tucked back a few strands of loose hair from his face. “Forever,” she replied. “Always and forever.”

“I love you,” he promised before leaning in for a kiss. “I love you.” Another kiss. “I love you.” Another. “I love you.”

And he did.

~~~~~

From this writing prompt list

[scrapeandscatter]

COALESCE – GIVE THEM ROPE SHE SAID V2.0

I bought my first vinyl record in 2004 or 2005. By the end of 2020, I was up to six. As of August 2021, I’m up to 50+ and counting. I know some folks will scoff at this as a brag, whether you think I’m talking up my collection or rolling your eyes that I might think that’s a big number. Neither is true. I always thought record collecting was stupid: trading cards for hardcore nerds. I think my first recognition that it was a thing within the community I was on the fringe of was Jane Doe. People on message boards were boasting about their acquisition of it, the color (which I didn’t know could be anything other than black), and how much they had sold it for on eBay. This was followed by similar stories surrounding Oceanic by Isis. It annoyed me. Of course, I was the asshole abusing Napster and every off-shoot. I tried to justify it by convincing myself I was a college kid with just enough money to pay for gas, show entry, and maybe a t-shirt.

When Covid hit I was still employed, so I wanted to support some of the bands that couldn’t tour by buying t-shirts. I also had friends who were in bands but didn’t have shirts to sell. They had records. I thought it would be nice to contribute and maybe buy a frame for the handful of albums I would get, since I didn’t really have any intention of playing them. Around the time I made this decision, my teenage niece started collecting records. She was into the colored vinyl thing and even interested in obtaining more than one copy of the same album just to collect all the variants. Rather than my previous “NERD!” sentiment, I thought it was pretty cool. So when I hit up a friend to buy his album that was on colored vinyl, I grabbed one for her too since my buddy’s band was probably going to be the closest thing to the style of music my niece listens to now. Then, as you will see with continued posts, a snowball effect took place.

Anyway, speaking of colored vinyl, a few friends and I were visiting Orlando some time in the mid-aughts, and we made a stop into Park Ave. CDs. Having no intention of buying anything, I saw my favorite band’s repressed record on the shelves with shiny new artwork. I’m sure there was a sticker that said it was green marble and a dim light went off above my head and I thought, “These things are actually worth more than what they sell them for in record stores. Buy it. Flip it!” My memory is hazy, but I’m pretty sure when I got back home and looked the album up on whatever website was Beckett but for records back then, I saw that what I bought wasn’t just a reissue of an old album (which I knew), but also a repress of that new version, which, at least to me, made a purchase I was already starting to regret wholly unimpressive. I would not be making my assumed 500% minimal profit.

After several years and moves, the album sat at my parents’ house, mixed in with my dad’s record collection, while I was a couple of time zones away. Now, though, as I’m getting ready to drop the needle on it for the first time to make it even less valuable, I’m pretty proud that my first vinyl album is by my favorite band and that I still have it. It may not be my favorite version, what with all the vocal panning and the removal of the jarring reintroduction of the fade-out from “Still It Sells”, but Give Them Rope still remains one of my favorite records of all time.

This is the beginning: my @bubblesandgutz rip-off; the delving into my nose ring at 40, hardcore baseball cards, attempting to recapture my youth midlife crisis collecting in my own uninhabited corner of the internet. But I’m stoked, and I can’t wait to listen to these records and devalue them one by one.

[mcheang]

Lila’s unlucky shadow

This content features a lot of Lila-bashing. Though I’m not sure if bashing=salt so I’m just gonna put bashing in the tags. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

This idea came out of nowhere. It was just a thought that Plagg is the kwami of bad luck and it snowballed into this. I realize this may seem a tad OOC, but what’s fanfiction without indulgence.

Furious at Lila for Onii-Chan, (hey, she nearly caused Ladybug’s death), Adrien decides to avenge his lady. So Plagg is asked to give Lila bad luck.

The kwami is eager to be let loose. Adrien just warns Plagg not to go overboard or Lila will just soak in the pity and take advantage of his classmates. (And yeah, he doesn’t want to feel guilty for requesting Plagg’s help)

Being tiny and intangible has its advantages. So while Lila is paying attention in class, she doesn’t notice Plagg hiding behind her head. Because’s he’s intangible, he doesn’t even mess up her hair...at first. Basically this is how Plagg always curses Lila. He does this several times, even more than Adrien’s request should have caused, as you will soon see.

1. Lila is stuck with Chloe as a project partner for the duration of the class. True to form, Chloe refuses to work her share. And since Sabrina promises that Lila is supposedly a bright student and super friendly/tame, Lila can’t exactly stand up for herself. Everyone else is too busy to notice Lila. So she grits her teeth and completes the assignment, determined to get back at Chloe. However, when she reports on Chloe, everyone else gives her pity but don’t make a big fuss, they’ve all been bullied by Chloe and just share stories. Caline just asks Lila to be the bigger person.

2. Puberty has been kind to Lila. Not anymore. Pimples and body odour make themselves known. People don’t really want to be around Lila. Deodorant doesn’t seem effective and when Lila asks Adrien for advice, he says he can’t help her because his facials use cinnamon. (When Marinette made cinnamon rolls, Lila smacked it out of her hands and claimed to be deathly allergic hence her overreaction)

3. Bad hair day...or should I say days? Plagg also may or may not have thrown spit balls into the back of Lila’s head. Only they weren’t made of paper. Nope. Plagg is a cat and he coughs up hair balls. Yeah...these are easily combed out but they give Lila’s hair an oily texture and make the strands limp (remember Snape?) She thought there were dust bunnies.

Once Lady Noire detransforms, Marinette bribes Plagg with cheese treats from the bakery if he will haunt Lila. Plagg is just so happy people want him to cause chaos. Plagg promises this deal will remain between them, just like he promised Adrien.

1. Lila is haunted at night. Plagg only has to be there once but his power causes it so that whenever Lila is ready for bed, the lights always switch off, it sounds like there are claws on the windows, something scurrying on the floor, her closet door creaking, and why do her feet feel clammy? Lila is plagued with nightmares. She is too tired to even take advantage of her class’ sympathy.

2. While spending time with her Mother (something Lila cherishes), Lila accidentally trips on the stairs and twists her ankle. She is confined to the hospital. She has an incompetent nurse looking after her. So when her friends visit, Lila is too overdosed on anesthetic to take advantage of the situation. When Lila is released, the most logical solution would be to sit in front. But then Chloe would never move. And Lila does not want to be the new Sabrina. Adrien makes it clear he and Nino are a package deal, and Lila hates Marinette. So Lila insists walking will speed her recovery. When Adrien says Plagg was kinda harsh with the broken bone, Plagg rolls his eyes and says the girl exaggerated. Lila threw such a tantrum she got rushed to the hospital over a sprained ankle. Adrien’s response: oh...never mind, keep up the good work. Marinette already suspected Lila faked her injury because she herself had a broken ankle and Lila’s bandaged ankle in a boot should have been a cast.

3. The Césaire twins got gum in Lila’s hair and try to help by snipping it off. Lila can’t stop them in time because her hands are tied with cleaning the dishes. Lila has to go to a real hairdresser who says all her hair has to go. Lila ends up with a pixie cut, and she does not rock it.

When Marinette was nearly akumatized, Tikki asks Plagg for the same favour, bribing him with cheese danishes, guilt tripping him about Kwami Buster, and using the pity plot by confessing she was so scared inside the akuma purse. Plagg falls for it, and also because he doesn’t like Tikki glaring at him. He also doesn’t mention to Tikki that Adrien and Marinette also got him to do this because....well...CAMEMBERT. Yeah...Plagg goes on such a crazy cheese fest that it is a wonder how he hasn’t gained an ounce of fat or gathered Adrien’a notice, though Lila’s body odour has started to remind Adrien of the stinky cheese, not exactly but close enough. Perhaps Lila has developed a liking for blue cheese?

1. Lila’s experience as a model is painful. Not at first, though. She is given hair extensions and lots of makeup. Her appearance is airbrushed. But then Lila gets bad reviews for her first model shoot and Adrien’s fans target her with harsh emails. Adrien has to play nice so he tells her to ignore it, that’s what he usually does. Natalie isn’t sympathetic. “You want to be a model, you need to learn to accept that there will be people who hate you.” When her classmates suggest she filter her email, Lila starts getting hate mail and is bullied at home because Dupont is too protected. Mrs Rossi is concerned and decides to end Lila’s model career since her baby is so distressed. Adrien is thrilled and gives Plagg a gigantic round of Camembert. (Credit for inspiration goes to @coke-and-candy I believe there was a follow up fic about negative critics but I couldn’t find it)

2. Lila claims to have gotten backstage passes to Jagged’s concert. Alya is happy because Marinette got them the same passes for herself, Alya, Adrien and Nino. Lila fake smiles. On the day of the concert, Lila fakes an injury and begs Alya not to tell Jagged because she doesn’t want to worry him. Alya keeps her word but Lila nearly cracked a tooth when the newspapers published a photo of Jagged presenting Marinette as his new personal designer. No matter what lies Lila spins, celebrity or injury-related, people just keep raving about Marinette.

3. Plagg visits her wardrobe and wrecks everything. Lila is flabbergasted but the claw marks suggest a wild animal got in. She isn’t totally wrong. Plagg invited some animals to make a mess of the girl’s room. Lila doesn’t want the class to volunteer to clean up her room, on the off chance her Mother shows up. But she does mentioned how she donated her entire wardrobe to charity. Chloe overheard and decides to be nice in front of Adrien. She dumps designer rejects on Lila. Of course, Lila doesn’t know that. Marinette does tell Alya, but Adrien pretends to care for Chloe’s improvements and comments that Lila seems to like them anyway.

When Lila rifles through Adrien’s locker and throws away the Camembert, Plagg narrows his eyes. “Alright, Liar, no more games, this is WAR!” (I was having trouble imagining what could anger Plagg even further. Credit for inspiration to the fanfiction Camembert Ice Cream by @quicksilversquared )

1. Lila starts to lose her voice and her throat hurts.

2. When Lila tries to communicate by writing, her hands undergo a seizure so she can’t pick up a pencil.

3. For some reason, the only way to cure her throat is to eat a regular diet of healthy but utterly unappetizing food. Lila has to say goodbye to junk food and sodas. Her water now tastes bitter because of the health supplements dissolved in it. Even with her voice returned, Lila can’t talk too much or she will strain her voice. It’s a shame oral presentations are over or Lila could have really used that excuse.

Plagg is satisfied. He got vengeance for 2 heroes, Sugar Cube, and most importantly himself. All this chaos has been nice, but he’s exhausted. Time for a cat nap.

(Note: needless to say, Lila won’t be causing trouble for quite some time. Plagg’s curses have only strengthened each other because...well, like calls to like. By the time Plagg’s curses run out, Marinette and Adrien would be living happily ever after, Tikki would be content, and Plagg would be munching on Camem-...hey....WHO ATE MY CHEESE TART? PLAGG!!!!!)

[adhdpal]

ADHD and Anxiety

TL;DR. Anxiety is very common to have when you’re an ADHDer and even though it is a natural response to fear, it gets problematic when we’re constantly anxious. The way we’re treated as kids or even as adults can make it even worse, and our symptoms don’t really help to alleviate the stress. This is why it’s very important to keep in mind how it can affects us and learn ways to cope.

Most of us neurodiverse folk know that ADHD doesn’t come by itself and actually has some other friends that make our lives a bit more difficult. One of them is anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a very common part of everyone’s lives, feelings of worry or fear when confronted with something scary is quite normal, and that’s because it’s our body’s response to a realistically anticipated danger. Let’s say we’re walking on a mountain and we find a bear, our body’s survival instinct will kick in a series of physical reactions that get us ready to run for our lives. Now imagine the bear isn’t right there, in fact, there’s no bear, but you STILL get that reaction and it impairs your day to day life, that’s anxiety.

So, ADHD and anxiety, why?

Anxiety is quite common for us ADHDers during our lifespans, completely regardless of gender, age or type of ADHD we have. This is why a number of experts are trying to give more importance to the emotional reactions we could have because of our difficulties. It’s understandable that our exterior symptoms are the most visible ones and therefore the most treated, but never underestimate how telling your doctor about how your symptoms manifest internally can change the way your treatment goes.

So, in a more scientific approach, anxiety as a comorbidity of ADHD can be seen in different ways; it could be the byproduct of a third disorder, anxiety produced because of the constant negative feedback we receive while going through life, or just the two disorders existing together but for different reasons not related to each other.

I’m gonna focus mainly on the second point, anxiety occurring because of facing negative feedback because of our symptoms.

ADHD kids who also have anxiety are considered worriers, they usually worry about how they’re gonna do in school or other things where their ability is being measured, they even tend to worry about the way they socialise with others and how good they are at it. They constantly stress about the future and new situations, which, if left untreated, follows us until we’re adults.

How does that affect us?

In kids, they tend to doubt themselves a lot, wondering constantly if they’re doing good, they don’t like to try new stuff and have a lot of self doubt, and curiously enough, they also have stronger ADHD symptoms. Sounds familiar? As an adult I still struggle with this, and I know of many adults who do too. 

There have been many times when I’ve preferred to not really do something that seems interesting because of the fear of not being good at it, of failing. This started after I was 18 though, after starting college, because I wasn’t the brilliant kid I used to be anymore.

This specific brand of anxiety in me is because of the negative feedback I received. Because some of my professors called me stupid, because even if I studied for 14 hours every day I still struggled to pass my classes, because whenever I tried, someone told me it wasn’t enough, that I should try harder, even if they didn’t see how hard I was already trying.

My inability to control my attention when it came to my law studies made me feel anxious enough that whenever I had finals I would cry each day while studying, because “I needed to try harder”.

And with this, the self doubt becomes bigger and bigger, in a kind of snowball effect. I wasn’t sure if I could even finish law school, so why would I try to learn other things if it would be just more of the same? It would be better if I just give up. That’s what I used to think almost every day.

What can I do to deal with this?

I promise you this is not a sad story with a sad ending! Anxiety is like a big monster ready to eat you at any moment, when you least expect it. But this doesn’t mean we can’t tame it.

For years I searched for ways to not be beaten down by this monster, and I found a few things that worked out for me, some others that didn’t, so here’s a list of a few I think are very nice and relatively easy to implement;

Do yoga. I KNOW how this sounds, I know it can be annoying to listen to, but yoga does have its merits when it comes to calming your anxiety and managing inattention and inhibition. A study (in kids) showed that after 8 weeks of two 40 minutes session a week helped to reduce the ADHD symptoms and can reduce the impact of stress responses. I actually did 30 minutes of very basic stuff every day and I have never been better than back then (really have to try again!).

Break tasks in simple steps. If you get overwhelmed by a task that may look horrible, try to break it down. Thinking how you have to write a whole essay is way different than thinking that you have to write an introduction today and make a body draft tomorrow.

Breathing exercises. I used to breathe in for 3 or 5 seconds, hold it for 5 or 7 seconds and slowly breathe out for 7 or 9 seconds. The times (3-5-7 or 5-7-9) totally depended on how much I could manage to breathe, and years later to my surprise my friend’s psychologist told me this was a very useful  way to calm down in the moment.

Treat your ADHD. Yes, this is an obvious one, but this is because managing the symptoms can manage your response to stress, the way you work and keep your life together so you have less to worry about

Hope you enjoyed reading this far! For more, check the sources, specially the last one that has more coping mechanisms! And remember, I’m not a medical professional, I just have ADHD and love to read on it.

Sources:

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Anxiety/Anxiety---Information-Sheets/Anxiety-Information-Sheet---01---What-is-Anxiety.pdf

ADHD comorbidities, Handbook for ADHD complications in children and adults. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5237364/

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/yoga-for-anxiety-and-depression

https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-and-anxiety-symptoms-coping/

[iwanthermidnightz]

“Not a shot. Not a single chance. Not a snowball’s chance in hell.”

Taylor Swift — who, at 30, has reached a Zen state of cheerful realism — laughs as she leans into a pillow she’s placed over her crossed legs inside her suite at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, leaning further still into her infinitesimal odds of winning a Golden Globe, which will zero out when she heads down to the televised ball in a few hours.

Never mind whether or not the tune she co-wrote, “Beautiful Ghosts,” might actually have been worthy of a trophy for best original song (or shortlisted for an Oscar, which it was not). Since the Globe nominations were revealed, voters could hardly have been immune to how quickly the film it’s a part of, “Cats,” in which she also co-stars, became a whipping boy for jokes about costly Hollywood miscalculations and creative disasters. Not that you’ll hear Swift utter a discouraging word about it all. “I’m happy to be here, happy to be nominated, and I had a really great time working on that weird-ass movie,” she declares. “I’m not gonna retroactively decide that it wasn’t the best experience. I never would have met Andrew Lloyd Webber or gotten to see how he works, and now he’s my buddy. I got to work with the sickest dancers and performers. No complaints.”

If this leads you to believe that the pop superstar is in the business of sugarcoating things, consider her other new movie — a vastly more significant documentary that presents Swift not just sans digital fur but without a whole lot of the varnish of the celebrity-industrial complex. The Netflix-produced “Taylor Swift: Miss Americana” has a prestige slot as the Jan. 23 opening night gala premiere of the Sundance Film Festival before it reaches the world as a day-and-date theatrical release and potential streaming monster on Jan. 31.

The doc spends much of its opening act juxtaposing the joys of creation with the aggravations of global stardom — the grist of many a pop doc, if rendered in especially intimate detail — before taking a more provocative turn in its last reel to focus more tightly on how and why Swift became a political animal. It’s the story of an earnest young woman with a self-described “good girl” fixation working through her last remaining fears of being shamed as she comes to embrace her claws, and her causes.

Given that the film portrays how gradually, and sometimes reluctantly, Swift came to place herself into service as a social commentator, “Miss Americana” is a portrait of the birth of an activist. Director Lana Wilson sets the movie up so that it pivots on a couple of big letdowns for its subject. The first comes early in the film, and early in the morning, when Swift’s publicist calls to update her on how many of the top three Grammy categories her 2017 album “Reputation” is nominated for: zilch. She’s clearly bummed about the record’s brushoff by the awards’ nominating committee, as just about anyone who’d previously won album of the year twice would be, and determinedly tells her rep that she’s just going to make a better record.

But she suffers what feels like a more meaningful blow toward the end of the film. In the fall of 2018, Swift finally comes out of the closet politically to intervene on behalf of Democrats in a midterm election in her home state of Tennessee. As the Washington Post put it, this announcement “fell like a hammer across the Trump-worshipping subforums of the far-right Internet, where people had convinced themselves… that the world-famous pop star was a secret MAGA fan.” Donald Trump goes on camera to smirk that he now likes Swift’s music a little less. The singer is successful in enlisting tens of thousands of young people to register to vote, but her senatorial candidate of choice, Democrat Phil Bredesen, loses to Republican Marsha Blackburn, whom she’d called out as a flagrant enemy of feminism and gay rights.

“Definitely, that was a bigger disappointment for me,” Swift says, pitting the midterm snub against the Grammy snub. “I think what’s going on out in the world is bigger than who gets a prize at the party.”

It was not always thus for Swift — as the detractors who dragged her for staying quiet during the last presidential election eagerly pointed out. If you had to pick the most embarrassing or regrettable moment in “Miss Americana,” it might be the TV clip from “The Late Show With David Letterman” in which the host brings up politics and gets Swift to essentially advocate the “Shut up and sing” mantra. As the studio audience roars approval of her vow to stay apolitical, Letterman gives her what now looks like history’s most dated fist bump.

Thinking back on it, Swift is incredulous. “Every time I didn’t speak up about politics as a young person, I was applauded for it,” she says. “It was wild. I said, ‘I’m a 22-year-old girl — people don’t want to hear what I have to say about politics.’ And people would just be like, ‘Yeahhhhh!’”

At that point, Swift was already starting to record isolated pop tracks, taking baby steps that would soon turn into full strides away from her initial genre. But whether she had designs on switching lanes or not, the lesson of the Dixie Chicks’ forced exile after Natalie Maines’ comment against then-President George W. Bush had branded itself onto her brain at an earlier age, when she’d just planted her young-teen flag in Nashville and overheard a lot of the lamentations of older Music Row songwriters about how the Chicks had thrown it all away.

“I saw how one comment ended such a powerful reign, and it terrified me,” says Swift. “These days, with social media, people can be so mad about something one day and then forget what they were mad about a couple weeks later. That’s fake outrage. But what happened to the Dixie Chicks was real outrage. I registered it — that you’re always one comment away from being done being able to make music.”

Maybe the most transfixing scene in “Miss Americana” is one where Swift argues with her father and other members of her team about the statement she’s about to release coming out against Blackburn and — it’s clear from her references to White House opposition to the Equality Act — Donald Trump too. The comments were so spontaneous that Wilson wasn’t there to film the moment, but the director had asked people to turn on the camera if anything interesting transpired, and here it most certainly did.

“For 12 years, we’ve not got involved in politics or religion,” an unnamed associate says to Swift, suggesting that going down the road of standing against a president as well as Republican gubernatorial and Senate candidates could have the effect of halving her audience on tour. Her father chimes in: “I’ve read the entire [statement] and … right now, I’m terrified. I’m the guy that went out and bought armored cars.”

“I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bullshit rather than just smiling my way through it.” TAYLOR SWIFT

But Swift is adamant about pressing the button to send a nearly internet-breaking Instagram post, saying that Blackburn has voted against reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act as well as LGBTQ-friendly bills: “I can’t see another commercial [with] her disguising these policies behind the words ‘Tennessee Christian values.’ I live in Tennessee. I am Christian. That’s not what we stand for.” Pushing back tears, she laments not having come out against Trump two years earlier, “but I can’t change that. … I need to be on the right side of history. … Dad, I need you to forgive me for doing it, because I’m doing it.”

Says Swift now, “This was a situation where, from a humanity perspective, and from what my moral compass was telling me I needed to do, I knew I was right, and I really didn’t care about repercussions.” She understands why she faced such heated opposition in the room: “My dad is terrified of threats against my safety and my life, and he has to see how many stalkers we deal with on a daily basis, and know that this is his kid. It’s where he comes from.”

Swift was recently announced as the recipient of a Vanguard Award from GLAAD, and she name-checked the org in her basher-bashing single “You Need to Calm Down,” which was released as one of the teaser tracks for last fall’s more outwardly directed and socially conscious “Lover” album. Part of her politicization, she says, is feeling it would be hypocritical to hang out with her gay friends while leaving them to their own devices politically. In the film, she says, “I think it is so frilly and spineless of me to stand onstage and go ‘Happy Pride Month, you guys,’ and then not say this, when someone’s literally coming for their neck.”

A year and a half later, she elaborates: “To celebrate but not advocate felt wrong for me. Using my voice to try to advocate was the only choice to make. Because I’ve talked about equality and sung about it in songs like ‘Welcome to New York,’ but we are at a point where human rights are being violated. When you’re saying that certain people can be kicked out of a restaurant because of who they love or how they identify, and these are actual policies that certain politicians vocally stand behind, and they disguise them as family values, that is sinister. So, so dark.”

Her increasing alignment with the LGBTQ community wasn’t the only thing raising her consciousness to a breaking — i.e., speaking — point. So did the sexual assault trial in which judgment was rendered that she had been groped by a DJ in a backstage photo op (for financial restitution, Swift had asked for $1).

Her experience with the trial was crucial, she says, in finding herself “needing to speak up about beliefs I’d always had, because it felt like an opportunity to shed light on what those trials are like. I experienced it as a person with extreme privilege, so I can only imagine what it’s like when you don’t have that. And I think one theme that ended up emerging in the film is what happens when you are not just a people pleaser but someone who’s always been respectful of authority figures, doing what you were supposed to do, being polite at all costs. I still think it’s important to be polite, but not at all costs,” she says. “Not when you’re being pushed beyond your limits, and not when people are walking all over you. I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able and willing to call out bulls— rather than just smiling my way through it.”

That came into play when Kanye West stepped into her life and publicly shamed her a second time. In the video Kim Kardashian released in 2016, you can hear the people-pleasing Swift on the other end of the line sheepishly thanking him for letting her know about the “Me and Taylor might still have sex” line he plans to include about her in a song — only to regret it later when the eventual track also includes the claim “Why? I made that bitch famous.” The boast, of course, referred back to the moment when he interrupted her and stole her spotlight at the MTV VMAs six years earlier as she was in the middle of an acceptance speech. West’s is not a name that ever publicly escapes Swift’s lips, so it might be surprising to fans that these events are recapped in “Miss Americana,” although Swift says the filmic decisions were all up to the director, who explains that Swift’s reaction to the episode was important to include.

“With the 2009 VMAs, it surprised me that when she talked about how the whole crowd was booing, she thought that they were booing her, and how devastating that was,” says Wilson. “That was something I hadn’t thought about or heard before, and made it much more relatable and understandable to anyone.”

“I see the movie as looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart.” LANA WILSON, DIRECTOR OF “TAYLOR SWIFT: MISS AMERICANA”

Swift acknowledges how formative both incidents have been in her life, for ill and good. “As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show,” she says now, “somebody stood up and sent me the message: ‘You are not respected here. You shouldn’t be here on this stage.’ That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew. … That can push you one of two ways: I could have just curled up and decided I’m never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to, and try things no one expected, and crave that respect — and hopefully one day get it.

“But then when that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life, as he did in 2015, and I felt like I finally got that respect (from West), but then soon realized that for him it was about him creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl…” She sighs. “I understand why Lana put it in.”

Adds the woman who started her recent “Lover” album with a West-allusive romp that’s pointedly called “I Forgot That You Existed”: “I don’t think too hard about this stuff now.”

What’s not in the film is any mention of her other most famous nemeses — Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta of Big Machine Records, with whom she’s scrapped publicly for several months. “The Big Machine stuff happened pretty late in our process,” says Wilson. “We weren’t that far from picture lock. But there’s also not much to say that isn’t publicly known. I feel like Taylor’s put the story out there in her own words already, and it’s been widely covered. I was interested in telling the story that hadn’t been told before, that would be surprising and emotionally powerful to audiences whether they were music industry people or not.”

Still, the way Swift has been willing to stand up politically for others parallels the manner in which she stood up for herself in regard to Braun, et al., at the recent Billboard Women in Music Awards, where she gave an altogether blistering speech, naming names and taking no prisoners, going after the men who now control her six-album Big Machine back catalog. Certainly Swift was aware that, along with supporters, there were many friends and business associates of Braun among the VIPs in the Hollywood Palladium who would not be pleased with what this very reformed people-pleaser had to say.

One thing everyone who was in the room agrees on is that you could hear a pin drop as Swift used the speech to get even bolder about the meat of these disputes. Some would say it’s because they were riveted by her boldness in speaking truth to power, others because they just felt uncomfortable. Says one fellow honoree who works in a high position in the industry (and who’s worked with some high-profile Braun clients): “People were excited for her at the beginning of the speech. But once she started going in a negative direction at an event that is supposed to be celebrating accomplishments and rah-rah for women, I felt it fell flat with a good portion of the room, because it wasn’t the appropriate place to be saying it.”

Wasn’t it intimidating for Swift, knowing she might be polarizing an auditorium full of the most powerful people in the business? “Well, I do sleep well at night knowing that I’m right,” she responds, “and knowing that in 10 years it will have been a good thing that I spoke about artists’ rights to their art, and that we bring up conversations like: Should record deals maybe be for a shorter term, or how are we really helping artists if we’re not giving them the first right of refusal to purchase their work if they want to?”

“Obviously, anytime you’re standing up against or for anything, you’re never going to receive unanimous praise. But that’s what forces you to be brave. And that’s what’s different about the way I live my life now.” (Braun’s camp did not respond to a request for comment.)

One thing Taylor Swift can’t bend to her determined will is her family’s health. She revealed a few years ago that her mother, Andrea, a beloved figure among the thousands of fans who’ve met her at road shows, is battling breast cancer. Swift addressed the uncertainty of that struggle in an anguished song on her latest album, “Soon You’ll Get Better.” Many who view “Miss Americana” will look for signs of how her mom is doing. The subject comes up in a section of the film that includes a relatively light-hearted scene in in which it’s shown that one of Andrea Swift’s ways of saying “eff you” to cancer recently was to break the mold and bring a canine — her “cancer dog” — into a famously feline-friendly family.

The real answer may come in Swift’s touring activity for “Lover.” Whereas typically she’d spend nine months in the year after an album release on the road, she plans to limit herself to four stadium dates in America this summer and a trip around the festival circuit in Europe. This may not be 100% for personal reasons: “I wanted to be able to perform in places that I hadn’t performed in as much, and to do things I hadn’t done before, like Glastonbury,” she says. “I feel like I haven’t done festivals, really, since early in my career — they’re fun and bring people together in a really cool way. But I also wanted to be able to work as much as I can handle right now, with everything that’s going on at home. And I wanted to figure out a way that I could do both those things.”

Is being able to be there for her mother the main concern? “Yeah, that’s it. That’s the reason,” she says. “I mean, we don’t know what is going to happen. We don’t know what treatment we’re going to choose. It just was the decision to make at the time, for right now, for what’s going on.”

In her case, it’s as if her manager had taken seriously ill as well as the person she’s always been closest to, all at once. “Everyone loves their mom; everyone’s got an important mom,” she allows. “But for me, she’s really the guiding force. Almost every decision I make, I talk to her about it first. So obviously it was a really big deal to ever speak about her illness.” During filming, when Andrea’s breast cancer had returned for a second time, “she was going through chemo, and that’s a hard enough thing for a person to go through.” Then it got harder. Speaking about this latest development publicly for the first time, Swift quietly reveals: “While she was going through treatment, they found a brain tumor. And the symptoms of what a person goes through when they have a brain tumor is nothing like what we’ve ever been through with her cancer before. So it’s just been a really hard time for us as a family.”

Compared with that, nearly any other topic the movie might address would pale. But it finds weightiness in addressing other kinds of unhealthiness, like the physical expectations that are placed on women in general and celebrity women specifically, Swift being no exception. In this department, she has her own heroines. “I love people like Jameela Jamil, because he way she speaks about body image, it’s almost like she speaks in a hook. Women are held to such a ridiculous standard of beauty, and we’re seeing so much on social media that makes us feel like we are less than, or we’re not what we should be, that you kind of need a mantra to repeat in your head when you start to have unhealthy thoughts. I swear the way Jameela speaks is like lyrics — it gets stuck in my head and it calms me down.”

Swift’s collaborator in this messaging, Wilson, was on a list of potential directors Netflix gave her when she expressed interest in possibly doing a documentary to follow the concert special that premiered on the service just over a year ago. You could discern a feminist message, if you chose to, in the fact that Swift chose a director most well known for a documentary about abortion providers, “After Tiller.” Swift says she was most impressed, though, that Wilson’s docs look for nuance and subtlety in addressing subjects that do lend themselves to soapboxes, and their first conversation was about their mutual desire to avoid “propaganda” in any form.

If there’s a feminist agenda in “Miss Americana,” Wilson and Swift wanted it to emerge naturally, although the director admits it was pretty blatant from the outset, given that she set up the film (which is co-produced by Morgan Neville, the director’s “sounding board”) with an all-female crew. Or nearly all-female, says Wilson, laughing, “I will say that we did always have male production assistants, because I like trying to show people that men can fetch coffee for women.”

Adds Wilson, “When I started filming, it was before she’d come out politically. She knew that she was coming out of a very dark period, and wanted collaborate on something that captured what she was going through and that was really raw and honest and emotionally intimate.” The political awakening, the director says, “was a profound decision for her to make. In that, I saw this feminist coming of age story that I personally connected with, and that I really think women and girls around the world will see themselves in.”

“The bigger your career gets, the more you struggle with the idea that a lot of people see you the same way they see an iPhone or a Starbucks.” TAYLOR SWIFT

The film borrows its title from a song on the “Lover” album, “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” that’s maybe the one fully allegorical song Swift has ever released — and, in its fashion, is a great protest song. The entire lyric is a metaphor for how Swift grew up as an unblinking patriot and has had to reluctantly leave behind her naiveté in the age of Trump. Her partner on that track, as well as other message songs like “You Need to Calm Down” and “The Man,” was a co-writer and co-producer new to her stable of collaborators this time around, Joel Little.

With the song “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” although the lyrics are cloaked in metaphor, “We like to think it was a very clear statement,” Little says. “There are lots of little hidden messages within that song that are all pointing toward the way that she thinks and feels about politics and the United States. I love that it uses a lot of classic Taylor Swift imagery, in terms of the songwriting topics of high school and cheerleaders, as a clever nod to what she’s done in the past, but tied in with a heavy political message.”

“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” doesn’t actually appear in the documentary, but the director says the film’s title is understood by fans as an obvious reference to political themes in the number. “Even if you don’t know the song,” Wilson says, “I see the movie as looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart, so I like how the title evokes that too.”

The doc doesn’t lack for its own protest songs though. In the wake of her midterm disappointment, Swift is seen writing an anthem for millennials who might have come away disillusioned with the political process. That previously unheard song, “Only the Young,” is seen being demo-ed before it plays in full over the end credits; it’ll be released as a digital single in conjunction with the doc. Key lyric: ““You did all that you could do / The game was rigged, the ref got tricked/ The wrong ones think they’re right / We were outnumbered — this time.”

“One thing I think is amazing about her,” says Wilson, “is that she goes to the studio and to songwriting as a place to process what she’s going through. I loved how, when she got the Grammy news (about “Reputation”), this isn’t someone who’s going to feel sorry for herself or say ‘That wasn’t right.’ She’s like, ‘Okay, I’m going to work even harder.’ You see her strength of character in that moment when she gets that news. And then with the election results, I loved how she channeled so many of her thoughts and feelings into ‘Only the Young.’ It was a great way to kind of show how stuff that happens in her life goes directly into the songs; you get to witness that in both cases.

So is the film aimed at satisfying the fan base or teasing the unconvinced hordes who might dial it up as a free stream? “I think it’s a little bit of both,” Swift says. “I chose Netflix because it’s a very vast, accessible medium to people who are just like, ‘Hey, what’s this? I’m bored.’ I love that, because I do so many things that cater specifically to fans that like my music, I think it’s important to put yourself out there to people who don’t care at all about you.”

In the wake of the last round of Kanye-gate, stung by the backlash of those who took his side, Swift took a three-year break from interviews. The mantra of her 2017 album “Reputation” and subsequent tour was “No explanations.” But her Beyoncé-style press blackout was a passing phase. With “Lover” and now, especially, the documentary, she could hardly be more about the explanations. Although this interview is the only one she currently plans to do about the documentary, it’s clear that she’s come back into a season of openness, and that she considers it her natural habitat.

“I really like the whole discussion around music. And during ‘Reputation,’ it never felt like it was ever going to be about music, no matter what I said or did,” she says. “I approach albums differently, in how I want to show them to the world or what I feel comfortable with at that time in my life.” Being more transparent “feels great with this album. I really feel like I could just keep making stuff — it’s that vibe right now. I don’t think I’ve ever written this much. That’s exhibited in ‘Lover’ having the most songs that I’ve ever had on an album” (18, to be exact). “But even after I made the album, I kept writing and going in the studio. That’s a new thing I’ve experienced this time around. That openness kind of feels like you finally got the lid off a jar you’ve been working at for years.”

Cipher-dom never could have stood for long for someone who’s established herself as one of the most accomplished confessional singer-songwriters in pop history. “I don’t really operate very well as an enigma,” she says. “It’s not fulfilling to me. It works really well in a lot of pop careers, but I think that it makes me feel completely unable to do what I had gotten in this to do, which is to communicate to people. I live for the feeling of standing on a stage and saying, ‘I feel this way,’ and the crowd responding with ‘We do too!’ And me being like, ‘Really?’ And they’re like, ‘Yes!’”

Swift believes talking things up again isn’t a form of giving in to narcissism — it’s a way of warding off commodification.

“The bigger your career gets, the more you struggle with the idea that a lot of people see you the same way they see an iPhone or a Starbucks,” she muses. “They’ve been inundated with your name in the media, and you become a brand. That’s inevitable for me, but I do think that it’s really necessary to feel like I can still communicate with people. And as a songwriter, it’s really important to still feel human and process things in a human way. The through line of all that is humanity, and reaching out and talking to people and having them see things that aren’t cute.

[intruality-overlord]

Why Are We (Best) Friends?

Warnings: Excessive swearing, alcoholism, mentions of drugs, drug use, suggestive humour, implied sexual content (no smut), some gore descriptions. Generally, Remus stuff.

Taglist: @blogging-time @veraisnotfine @littlestr @jessibbb @ibroken-butterflyi @hi-its-tutty @idkanameatall

Let me know do you want to be added or removed from the taglist! Updates every Wednesday/Thursday. Don’t worry I’m posting the second half of this chapter later today cause it’s too long all in one part and Tumblr doesn’t seem to like it when I post stuff too close together. So have the fun with the fluffy part!

Chapter Three 1/2: Duck

Loosen Up

May 26th, 2017.

Tiny little sips did Patton take, swishing the liquid around before swallowing each drop. Cautious. Procrastinating. Remus rolled his eyes.

“Why are you so embarrassed? I’ve seen you so drunk that if you weren’t a figment of imagination, the police could have been outlining your dead body in chalk the next morning. You don’t have anything to be shy about,” he said. Patton glared at him. “That’s exactly what’s so embarrassing!” He shrieked. “It’s bad enough knowing that happened! I don’t want a repeat!”

“That’s the whole point of this, Pat. I’m here so you don’t get completely pissed like that again. And if you do, I’ll stop you from being stupid.”

…

“I’m always stupid,” Patton mumbled into his next sip. Albeit, it was a slightly bigger sip. Remus would have argued with Patton, but he hadn’t planned a heart to heart and felt rather unprepared. At least he knew Patton had already drunk enough to not think too hard about what he was saying. Baby steps.

Turned out the snowball effect settled in soon after that. The more Patton drank the less he thought to regulate himself so he drank more. Remus discovered that night that Patton became efficiently, drunkenly relaxed at five cans of… whatever collection of concoctions Patton had mixed up.

“Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait! If I’m a figment of Thomas’s imagination, but you’re Thomas’s imagination, does that mean you could, like, make me,” Patton made a charade of what would have resembled an explosion if he still had his fine motor skills intact, “poof? If you wanted?”

Patton had had six cans and was on his seventh.

Remus blinked at him. There was some semblance of sense in that thinking, and Remus did love a good “what if?” question. “I don’t know...” he said. “Why don’t you try?!” Patton exclaimed, bouncing in his seat. Remus for a split second thought of how adorable Patton’s excitement was—

“Hell no!” He snapped. Patton whined. Sulking, he flopped back down in his chair like a voodoo doll that had just been angrily launched into a wall. “You’re s’posed to be fun!” Patton chugged the rest of his can and didn’t bother to put it down. Instead, it just toppled and rolled out of his lax grasp.

“If it worked then you wouldn’t exist anymore!”

“So?”

Remus also discovered that Patton’s attitude was just as bad as Virgil’s. At least Remus knew his limits now for future reference.

“Well if you stopped existing you wouldn’t know if it worked or not because you wouldn’t exist,” Remus reasoned, and he wanted to scrub his tongue with soapy sandpaper.

“...What if we tried it on Roman?”

“Damn you, that’s tempting.”

Multimedia

August 30th, 2017.

“Heya Remus—” Out of all the anarchy encapsulated in the room, Patton instantly fixated on the razor. The blade devilishly glinted. Patton glared at the offending mustache slayer.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Patton! I was just—“

“Leave the moustache alone!” Patton pounced, lunging for the shaver, and Remus shrieked a very manly shriek. Plumes of white flew free from Remus’s fringe in the kerfuffle. “Your mustache is special and perfect just the way it is!” Patton said. Wrestling the razor from Remus’s grip, which on further inspection was definitely for shaving your legs and not facial hair, and confiscated it.

“I know!”

What?

“That’s why I need it for my self portrait!”

What?

What looked like very grainy flour caught in Remus’s fringe made it appear silver, enhancing the pearly whites that split his lips into a beaming grin. Patton swore his teeth looked slightly pointier than usual. Each syllable rolled around Remus’s tongue exaggeratedly long before he spat it out. And the crazed look in his eyes looked especially crazed, circled in red like a big mistake.

Oh, he’s high.

Wait, what?

Hooking an arm around Patton’s, a stark gentlemanly contrast to Remus’s distinctly wild hair, bloodshot eyes and suddenly apparent absence of a three piece suit, and yanked Patton to stand before his work in progress.

“I’d ask what you think, but it’s not quite finished,” he said, giddy.

Paint was splattered all across the canvas.

And across the floor, and the walls, and the ceiling, and after spending five minutes in the room Patton somehow had some too. (Remus was always more of a catcher than a thrower. Terrible aim.) Focusing on an individual area, it looked like a nonsensical mess. There were handprints, globs of textured brush strokes, and scratch marks. Acrylic and watercolour paints with salt adding texture. Swatches of silk, sprinkles of glitter. The only orderly aspect of the piece was the fact it stuck strictly to a dominantly green colour pallet with accents of blue. Even so, there were hints of pinks, yellows, and purple. Tasteful hints, mind you. Oh, there’s some red, too—

“Is that blood?”

“A happy little accident involving a blunt pallet knife. That’s all.”

As a whole, though, when you stepped back it clearly was Remus’s self portrait. Amongst all the chaos, his outline was clear and confident. Insane smile and all. (Except for his moustache, which seemed to be the final missing piece.)

Patton looked closer. Woven in were more intricate details. Passages from Alice In Wonderland and Little Shop Of Horrors (“You love her madly, don’t you, shmuck” was one he picked out)— other books, musicals, and movies Patton couldn’t name— fit seamlessly into the collage. Everything was written in different, swirly fonts or magazine clippings.

Then he looked even closer. Patton squinted.

“Is that fucking dick glitter?”

“Green and blue duochrome dick glitter!”

It was the most accurate self portrait Patton had ever seen (or ever would). A massacre of common sense. It was his internal tumultuous frenzy in a visual medium. A celebration of self love in a uniquely Remus way.

“I’d frame that and put it on the fridge,” Patton said genuinely. Remus preened. “It’s… exceptional, really.”

But did Remus really have to sacrifice his adorable face caterpillar for it?

“I can’t wait to add the finishing touches!”

“Are you really going to put your own moustache on it?”

Remus burst into rambling only a select few could comprehend. Sentences clumsily overlapped each other as Remus spilled the direct translation of his thought process. And within that mess, the words were crushed like a Pepsi can (Yes, Remus could taste the difference between Coke and Pepsi. Yes, he purposefully drinks only Pepsi), squishing the vowels out of existence. In Patton’s case, though, he was able to translate the garbled soup of consonants roughly to, “One does not simply soil the sacred authenticity of multimedia!”

“Can’t you just...” Patton shrugged. “I don’t know— use some fake fur or something instead?” He argued.

“Ugh,” Remus grunted, “That sounds like something Roman would do. His art is so flat and boring! Always so play it safe, never experiments,” He ranted passionately, throwing his arms in all directions. “And there’s never enough glitter!” He scoffed. Pent up energy drove him in stomping circles. “Too much glitter makes it look childish,” he said, tone swinging into a mock impression. “There’s no such thing as too much glitter! I don’t care if it gets everywhere. I’d happily leave glitter stuck in my teeth rather than some stupid, diet of the week salad! And Roman wants to claim he’s the gayer one?! Huh, bullshit.”

Patton checked if his ears hadn’t conked out. They screeched like microphone feedback. (His ears and Remus.)

“Roman’s such a bitch— I fucking hate him so goddamn fucking much, the cunt.” Remus thrust his hand into the nearest paint can, and readied the colourful grenade.

Patton grabbed his wrist, hastily. Globs of acrylic paint slipped from his fist, reuniting with a green puddle soaked into the carpet.

“Uh-um,” Patton cut in, improvising a distraction, “Why don’t we have a drink and watch, uh... ah, um— Ratatouille?” Fizzing with nerves, Patton cracked a hopeful smile. One Remus couldn’t help mimicking. “A drink of water!” Patton quickly corrected, “and Ratatouille.”

(“Giggle water?”

“Emu, no.”)

“I love that movie!” Remus said, clapping his hands. More green sprayed them in Remus’s brazen excitement.

It worked. Patton breathed a quick sigh of relief.

Beaming, he cupped Patton’s face in his cold, sticky, stained hands. “You always have such good ideas!” Remus gushed. That was a rare, rare compliment. Patton's face blazed. For a second he was sure the paint would evaporate from his skin.

No, his wine red complexion was hidden.

Green handprints drying on his cheeks, Patton watched the movie with Remus just like that. After, Remus finished the painting properly. Instant grief followed shaving his moustache. But when he grew it back, he was ultimately happy with the results.

Next Chapter:

[lanaisnotwool]

404 From Teacher to Investor - Interview with Todd Dexheimer

http://moneyripples.com/2020/06/22/404-from-teacher-to-investor-interview-with-todd-dexheimer/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/05/31/404--going-from-teacher-to-investor-with-todd-dexheimer

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Chris Miles (00:00): Hello, my fellow Ripplers. This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Welcome you out for a wonderful show. Show that's for you and about you. Those of you work so hard for money and you're ready for your money. Start working harder for you. Now! You want that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not 30, 40 bazillion years from now, but right now, so you can live that life that you love doing what you love being with those that you love, but it's so much more than you guys. Than just having a lot of money and being comfortable and, you know, driving flashy cars and that kind of thing. Because if you're following us, we're not those kind of people. We're real people. We're sincere. We're authentic. And the truth is that you're a Rippler. That you, yes, you can create lots and lots of money create the life of your dreams, but your life is much more than that. You want to create a ripple effect through the lives of those, around you, whether it be your family, whether it be your community, the country, or across the world. And that's ultimately what this ripple effect's about. And I appreciate you guys allowing me to create a ripple effect through you because without that, we couldn't do it. And you guys have been bingeing on these shows. You've been spreading the word you've been sharing it. And I love seeing these numbers grow every single day. So thank you for being a part of this.

Chris Miles (01:20): Hey, as a quick reminder, check out our website MoneyRipples.com. You've got the great ebook on there called Beyond Rice & Beans. Seven Secrets. Free up cash today, and you can check out other information on there as well. So check it out.

Chris Miles (01:29): Alright! Today, guys, I'm bringing on another great, great investor on our show here. This is actually a guy by the name of Todd Dexheimer here. Now, Todd, like Todd's been doing real estate. He got in right during the last recession. Like he was born out of the fire, right? He was born out of those flames when everybody says real estate stinks. And that's exactly when Todd said, alright, let's do this. He actually started as a high school industrial tech teacher. Then went to real estate in 2008. Now, interesting thing about him is that he's the CEO of venture properties, LLC. Yeah. He's also been, has purchased and renovated over 800 units guys. Has focuses on syndicating value, add multifamily and emerging markets, as well as coaching other inspiring investors. He's the host of the Pillar of Wealth Creation Podcasts that actually I've been on as well. He's also been doing contributing things like Bigger Pockets. And he's been on various shows, whether it's like, you know, big real estate investing advice ever, or the Michael Blank show and many, many more. And so he lives in Minnesota, his wife, and two kids love skiing, hunting, camping, hockey running. Of course he's in Minnesota. He's got to love hockey. Right? So anyways, Todd, welcome to our show.

Todd Dexheimer (02:41): Yeah. Appreciate you having me on, I appreciate the introduction, man. I'm like, I'm pumped up. I, that intro was awesome! I'm pumped up to hopefully add some value to the show and yeah. This is, this is an exciting community. It sounds like we got here. So...

Chris Miles (02:58): Absolutely. No, these are good people. These are the best ones you'll ever, ever witness. I'll tell you that. So, you know, tell us like, how did you even go from, you know, high school teacher to real estate? Like what even sparked that because everybody's freaking out in 2008 and you're like, Hey, why not? Right.

Todd Dexheimer (03:14): Yeah. I've been, what was I going to lose, man?

Chris Miles (03:16): That's right!

Todd Dexheimer (03:18): I was making you know, not very much as a high school teacher. And I think there was, I don't, I don't know exactly what sparked it like it was, I don't know if it was just a spark, but I've always, I think had this entrepreneurial spirit with me. I actually built shipping crates for my dad's company that he worked at. He was a manufacturing engineer and they're making these vises and I built shipping crates for these vises. So I had my own decks, custom crates business that my brother and dad kind of formed and along with me, and then I took over and did that. So that was fun. And that was when I was in high school, I had the lawn mowing business, you know, but then I decided to be a teacher and just, just quite frankly, it just didn't click. Like I thought it was going to be great. And there was parts of it. That was, was great, but it just didn't click. And it wasn't for me. And I bet within like a month or two, I was telling my wife, I gotta figure out what I'm going to do when I grow up because this aint it. And so...

Chris Miles (04:26): It, wasn't a scary moment for her to say, wait, all of this to now say you want to get out. Right?

Todd Dexheimer (04:31): Well, we just started our life together, you know, as like all this. So it was kind of crazy, but at the same time I knew it wasn't for me. So it was just exploratory and just trying to figure out and real estate made a ton of sense. And like you said, it was right during that like firestorm, right. Everything was crashing. Everybody was running in the opposite direction. And I got in a little bit about, you know, I was naive. I didn't really understand a hundred percent what happened cause I wasn't involved. Like I didn't lose anything. Right? So it was a little bit of maybe me being naive, but also seeing the opportunity. Understanding like that real estate will go back up in value, even though some people sat and I heard this a lot of times real estate will never go back up to where it used to be. Never. And that's very shortsighted. And I knew that it was like, yeah, see, but these are people that got, just got burned. Right? And so it just made so much financial sense and I understood the industry being an industrial tech teacher and you know, doing construction through the summers too, work my way through high school and college. It just made sense.

Chris Miles (05:44): Yeah. So what was your first deal? Like what'd you start out doing?

Todd Dexheimer (05:48): You know what, I did three deals pretty much at one time, which is, which is crazy. And I didn't have any money, by the way. My wife and I had probably like $30,000 saved up, maybe $25,000 saved up. And so we bought a single family that we ended up living in, but it was a foreclosure. We did this 203K loan. So you can get in for very little money. And then we did the renovation ourselves, big renovation. I mean, when we moved in, there was no plumbing, water wasn't working. So like the first, like, I shouldn't say when we moved in, like probably the day we moved in, I just got it going. I can still remember working on some, we didn't have heat, which is fine. Cause we moved in in August, but we had to get heat because at Minnesota, by end of September, you need heat. So I, they like get around is we're on a time deadline. Yeah. But so that, that was one of them. The other one was a flip that I partnered with a guy that had money and we did the fix and flip. And then the other one was a single family rental house. I bought that out of foreclosure. For like 60,000, somewhere around there stuck another 10, 15,000 into it. Did all the work myself with my wife and a couple of friends came and helped me in, but that was it. And then was able to then refinance that house actually in that snowball, from there. Fix and flip, actually ended up being a flop. I bet I made a thousand dollars on it. I did all the work

Chris Miles (07:27): You got to learn pretty quickly. Like it's probably better that happened because in some people's case where they hit really big on that first flip, they think that's the way it's always going to be. Right?

Todd Dexheimer (07:35): Oh, this is easy!

Chris Miles (07:37): Yeah, exactly. And you're like, okay, that wasn't as cool as I thought that was, that was like a dollar an hour. Gosh.

Todd Dexheimer (07:43): But it probably wasn't even that much.

Chris Miles (07:47): Well, that's great. And you've done. I mean, you've done flips, you've even done mobile home, parks and you did a ski resort, is that right?

Todd Dexheimer (07:53): Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Miles (07:55): Tell us about that.

Todd Dexheimer (07:55): Well, I bought a defunct ski resort, so it was just a ski resort that, you know, we had some really bad winters in the early, the late 90's to early 2000's where there just wasn't a lot of snow. And so when that happens, these little skiers are just can't handle it. And so they ended up shutting it down. Somebody got hurt really bad too. And so there was a big lawsuit. And so it was just shut down. The guy that owned it originally passed away, handed down to his kid and grown adult, but yeah, just didn't want to do it anymore. So they ended up shutting it down and we stumbled upon it. Actually the business partner at the time was actually hunting nearby and he was seeing all these deer trails. And they all led into this property.

Todd Dexheimer (08:48): So we went and talked to the owner and then was like, Hey, what's going on here? And we ended up striking a deal. Then we ended up getting the property and we got it for such a cheap price that we had a bank that financed it a hundred percent.

Chris Miles (09:01): Wow!

Todd Dexheimer (09:02): It appraised for a million dollars and we were buying it for $450,000 and they fund us to a hundred percent of the deal.

Chris Miles (09:10): That's incredible.

Todd Dexheimer (09:12): Yeah. It was incredible. And that was 2000, maybe 13 or 14. So things, I mean still were a little iffy, you know, probably 13. Yeah. We're still a little iffy. There is banks. Weren't being super friendly. Yeah. Not like that, but...

Chris Miles (09:29): But the numbers made sense. It said, all right. Go for it.

Todd Dexheimer (09:32): Yup. Yup. So we ended up just taking that. We did some work to it. We were thinking about doing something with it, but it ended up just being more of a distraction to try to get it up and running. So we ended up selling it. So I basically flipped the ski resort. You know, I tried to convince my wife to move down there. She said, no.

Chris Miles (09:50): I'm saying it as a skier. You were probably really tempted weren't you?

Todd Dexheimer (09:53): Yeah, it was great. It was. And it's amazingly beautiful piece of property and it's just amazing.

Chris Miles (09:59): That's great. What kind of deals are you doing now? Like what kind of multifamily stuff are you doing? Cause I know with different people I've had on the show, some were kinda like, you know what, I'm getting so strict with my underwriting. Like I am almost refused things left and right, right?

Todd Dexheimer (10:13): Yup. Yup. And kind of the same actually. Things were heating up quite a bit, obviously that was pre-COVID. Things were heating up quite a bit and it was really tough to find a deal that made sense. Now people were just buying these properties for crazy amounts and we weren't willing to. So I'm buying, you know, value add, B class multifamily, typically a hundred plus units. So we can have some scale. We can have the onsite staff and, and we're buying those in a few markets cross country that are kind of emerging or markets that have some, the, all the right fundamentals that we're really looking for and we're doing the syndication. So we're raising the funds for down payment, all that kind of stuff. So that's, that's kind of our bread and butter. And I anticipate that to still be our bread and butter as we kind of emerge through this whole COVID deals will probably come out of this. You know, we don't know exactly the future yet, but I think there'll be some opportunity down the road.

Chris Miles (11:24): Yeah. I mean, not that I, I glory in people's pain right? Or do something bad, but I definitely foresee that there's a lot of deal operators that really weren't operators. They were just greedy people wanting to get in on the, on the ride. Right. And buy these properties even probably have investor's money out there. And, but they've never done a deal before and they don't know how to operate something. And I imagine that's where there could be some good opportunities coming up.

Todd Dexheimer (11:47): I think so. I think so. And like you said, we don't like for me, it's you, when you look at it and go, Oh, I really, so some people are excited. They're like, Oh, it's great. I can't wait for people to start losing their properties. It's like, well you do you understand like that, that actually only hurts you as well. Like I've got properties. So if the guys around me guys and gals around me lose their properties, those value, my property pretty value is going to go down. Right. And so it's, it's it's yeah. Well, do I wish ill will upon anybody? No. But the matter of the fact is exactly what you said, likely there's going to be people that are gonna end up maybe not losing the property, but be told to sell. Lenders have low incompetence and you are going to be told to sell if you're not hitting your numbers. And so you're going to be forced, basically forced to sell and yeah, you're right. A lot of those people had no clue what they're doing or even if they did have a clue what they're doing, they were just going about it the wrong way, or they're going after these properties for fees. I think that's a lot of things. A lot of what was happening is people are going, wow, I can do this deal. I can syndicate it and I can make $300,000 right up front on this deal. That's a great payday Al's I need to do is one to two of those each year. And I'm doing really well. And some people are doing two, maybe three deals a year, they're making 600 to a million dollars, man. They didn't care how good the deal was. That's, Unfortunately I think what was happening.

Chris Miles (13:21): Yeah. No, there's, there's definitely, I've seen that. I have definitely seen that out there and you're right. Like we don't want people to have to sell off, like in a sense of just being, you know, selling off for dirt cheap or anything like that, you know, I would more see like where's the opportunity of increasing profits and it's something that's already there. Right. It's like, you know, where they just didn't operate it well, and yeah. In your opinion, like right now, I mean, what are you seeing? Are you seeing like good deals or you see in most everything's just junk currently?

Todd Dexheimer (13:50): Yeah. So currently I would say we haven't seen much adjustment. The sellers aren't quite ready to take a discount and yeah, I don't need the salaries to take a bath. Like I don't need, in order for me to feel comfortable with the buy. It's not like I need the sellers to sell for 40% discount or something like that now would that be great? Sure. You know, I need the sellers to come off of their, their price by let's call it 10%, maybe 15% and then, okay, I'm ready to, I'm ready to start buying. For me, my company. We don't need to buy Properties, dirt cheap. Now will we? If that happens. Absolutely. But all right. It's still about the fundamentals of the piece of real estate and how the numbers work and can we get our business plan to be able to take any, can we execute it? And so that's what really important part. So...

Chris Miles (14:43): Yeah. What kind of cash flow or NOI can you get from it? Right?

Todd Dexheimer (14:46): Yup. So I've been talking to a lot of brokers that deal in my space and they're kind of the same, most sellers are looking for right now between a 10% and a 20% discount or sorry, most buyers are looking for a 10% to 20% discount. Most sellers are well expecting to sell either at the previous high or within at least 10%. So they, I have heard from brokers, but a lot of sellers are understanding. They've got to come down 5% to 10% and but most buyers are actually even more than that. So we've got a gap there eventually that'll close.

Chris Miles (15:22): Yeah. It's got to take some time before they start adjusting and believing the numbers and say, okay.

Todd Dexheimer (15:27): Real estate. It's not the stock market. I mean, you're right, Chris. I mean the stock market goes like this and actually overreacts quickly. Where real estate actually Under reacts and takes a while for those, those drops to happen.

Chris Miles (15:41): Isn't that the beautiful thing about real estate? Is that it doesn't happen overnight. Right. Where people are used to, if they'd been watching the stock market, it's, it's painful to watch. You can't watch it, you know, without freaking out, you know. Where at least the real estate there's slow adjustments typically. I mean, whether the price go down or up, usually there's there's time involved.

Todd Dexheimer (16:00): Yup. Yeah. I mean, right now I've got a property on the market and I have priced at about the 15% below where I would have expected to sell it just a few months ago and I'm kicking myself because I should have sold it in January, but I didn't know this was happening for some reason.

Chris Miles (16:16): Of course.

Todd Dexheimer (16:17): But I still want to sell the property and I'm happy to take a 15% discount because quite frankly, it's still gonna, I'm still gonna do really well on it. And I see there's opportunity potentially coming. So I'd rather take that capital, be able to have it, be able to do it. Okay. Put it out there when better deals do come. So right now, if you're wanting to be a seller, it's Still sell because real estate slowly, as you said, it's going to take awhile.

Chris Miles (16:43): That's a good point, too. Like you said, you don't always have to find bad deals. It could be someone just like you, who already bought a great deal. It's appreciated, you know, you've add value to it. And of course now price is great. Even if you have to take a discount, you're still gonna make good, good money on it. So there's plenty of those deals too.

Todd Dexheimer (16:59): Yup.

Chris Miles (16:59): Well, great. Well how like, like tell us more about your show, the Pillars of Wealth Creation Show. Tell us about that.

Todd Dexheimer (17:05): Yeah. So Pillars of Wealth Creations, mainly a real estate show, but we're, we also talk to a lot of people that not aren't necessarily real estate investors first and foremost. So we're, the show is kind of more catered towards the business side of the real estate. Like not necessarily talking the nuts and bolts of real estate. I can learn that in a book for the most part. And there's a lot of other podcasts that talk about nuts and bolts. But one of the big things that we like to focus on is how do you really build a business the right way? So how do we take cause so many real estate investors are transactional, right? They think they think about real estate as just buying a piece of property and that's it. And then we're going to, we're going to be passive, right? We're going to buy this piece of property. We're gonna buy this a hundred unit apartment. And then we're going to be able to sit back on the beach and relax. Cause now we got all this cash flow. Well, that's not how it works. If you want to do that, then you need to passively truly passively invest in real estate.

Chris Miles (18:05): That's right.

Todd Dexheimer (18:07): But, if you're going to buy the piece of property and that you're going to be a part of that deal, you've got to be an active business owner. You've got to learn how to make a business plan. You've got to learn, you know, how to set up systems and processes. And you've got to learn how to build teams. You've got to do all the things that a regular business owner does. And so many real estate investors have no clue that that's even part of what they should be learning.

Chris Miles (18:28): It's so true. Like I'm in a kind of a high level mastermind group where you usually have to have at least a hundred doors to be in that group. And it's so common even with those guys, those guys who legitimately do have a business, right. Even for them to say, Oh, like I am getting up at 4:00AM, 5:00 AM to basically get to work and just hammer this out. And I'm trying to manage everybody. And I don't know if I should have a CEO or not, or a COO or, you know, they're like going nuts. They went from just trying to make money on a few flips and deals like that. And now they're like, man, like just to make these millions of dollars, I have no life like no real passive income. And, and that's a big difference. There's a big difference in lifestyle between that active investor, right? The person that is a business owner versus those that are just passively investing in. Like some sort of what you offer.

Todd Dexheimer (19:14): Yup. Yup. Absolutely.

Chris Miles (19:17): Yeah. Well, great. So obviously like if people follow your show, you, when you talk about syndications, you're probably talking about your syndications and deals you're doing right then too. Right. If you're, if people are looking for passive investments, you've got to, you've got your own funds as well, right?

Todd Dexheimer (19:30): Yeah. You know, on the show, I try not to, I don't probably talk too much about the deals as are going, but if we, when we close on a deal, I usually will give kind of a, Hey, here's what we did. Here are the lessons we learned along the way, you know, here's maybe some things we, you know, found in due diligence and why we made adjustments. And so we'll talk about, yeah, there's a lot of mistakes and lessons learned even along active deals, I've been doing this for a while, but I still make mistakes. I still learn a lot of things on every single deal that I feel like it can bring to my audience and allow them to hopefully learn as well. From what I've learned from my mistakes. So...

Chris Miles (20:13): Well, the thing I love is what you do is you're not the kind of guy to say, Hey, this deal looks awesome. Like you're not just, you know, running around like a monkey with a machine gun. Right. You're actually like, Hey, this deal doesn't fit my parameters, next. Okay. Like takes me 30 seconds. See this, this one's a no, like you just keep passing and passing. And those are like the best investors in my mind are the ones that say no to almost everything just like Warren Buffett did. He would always say, I say no to almost everything. And yes, the very, very few things, you know, and then you have to, you have to right. Like, there's, you can't be successful if you're just chasing after every little deal, you're going to have big, you're gonna have losses and maybe some gains, but you're gonna have a lot of losses. You won't be in business very long.

Todd Dexheimer (20:52): Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, Warren Buffett's obviously a pretty smart man. And you know, there, he says that for a reason, there's so many deals out there and those are deals for everybody else. Not for me.

Chris Miles (21:06): Yeah. I actually remember him. He said a quote. And he said that to one of my friends in an interview, he said the difference between the successful and the ultra successful is that the ultra successful say no, almost every time.

Todd Dexheimer (21:16): Yeah.

Chris Miles (21:17): You know, I know it's true. And I know you're that kind of guy too. So same way as you know, listeners, you guys, those who are following this, like check out his website, for sure. What's, do you have a website that people could follow?

Todd Dexheimer (21:30): Yeah. A couple of websites, Pillars of Wealth Creation. They can get to my podcast and then just my general website, which should, they can actually still get to my podcasts or that is at VentureDProperties.com. So it's venture and then D as in dog or Dexheimer properties.com.

Chris Miles (21:49): Awesome. Yeah. I'll definitely make sure we get to get those links in the show notes. So if you can follow you, follow your show or even check out your site and get to know you more, obviously, especially if people are looking for investing in opportunities and things of that nature, because obviously you're looking right now, you're actively looking for the right deals. Not just any deal.

Todd Dexheimer (22:06): Yeah. Looking for the right deals and there's opportunities that are going to come down the pipeline. And I think the important part for people that right now to be just thinking about is, what are the paradigms that are going to be shifting through this whole event, right? People's paradigm shift. Consumers, thoughts are going to shift, workers habits are going to shift. So there's going to be different things that are going to come out of this. And how can we make sure we're positioning ourselves to be able to take advantage of the opportunities that are in front of us. And it's not necessarily take advantage of other people. It's take advantage of the people's wants and needs that, you know, the consumers wants and needs out there. If you can best serve them. I think you're going to have a lot of success. And that's what I'm working with. Multifamily with real estate in general, I consider myself a value add real estate investor multifamily. I love a lot, but I also look at other asset classes. So we look at, you know, what are the strengths and weaknesses? What are the trends? Where do we, I think that things are going to be going, and we're trying to make the best decisions obviously for ourselves and our investors on that.

Chris Miles (23:06): Yeah. Working to improve upon something and make it better, you know, for everybody. Right. And that's...

Todd Dexheimer (23:10): Absolutely!

Chris Miles (23:12): What cooler way to make money than actually bettering people's lives and making money from that? I mean, that's the way life and that's where the world should be in my opinion. Yeah. Well, great. Hey, I appreciate your time so much Todd. Like this is awesome. Again, everybody check out the links in the show notes, you know, follow his podcast or check out his site. So everybody, you remember, it's all about patience. It's all about looking for the right thing. Not just anything but the very right thing. So follow Todd and everybody, I hope you make it a wonderful and prosperous week. We'll see you later!

[poppibranchlover]

Nine Lives, One Fight - Part 21

The story: Deep in the forest of Troll Town, there lies a mysterious tiny purple mushroom that has a secret magical ability. King Peppy calls this mushroom forbidden for all Trolls to go near it. One day, while Branch is out in the woods doing his survival research studying, he encounters it and, not knowing it is a regular mushroom, decides to harvest it and bring it home. But in the next morning, its magic effects transform him into a small blue cat! After being sent to the animal pound, his girlfriend, Poppy, finds him and decides to adopt him, although not recognizing it is Branch. Desperate to finish his research project due for a special event invented by Poppy, Branch is forced to learn how to behave like a pet cat and must figure out what caused him to become one.

You already seen what had happened in Part 20. Now get ready for Part 21!:

Flinging herself into her pod with her hair, Poppy didn’t stop until she got into her bedroom. Then she threw herself down on her bed and broke into sobs.

Poppy laid down motionless. Overwhelmed by the loss of her boyfriend, she clutched on to her pillow and wept. With tears in her eyes, she moved a picture frame beside her pillows and looked at it. The frame had a picture of Poppy and Branch, sitting on a hill together and giving each other loving looks.

Poppy sighed at the photo. She had never felt so distraught in herself.

“Oh, Branch,” she said softly, her eyes full of sadness. “I knew you’re always there for me, but you can’t be gone forever.”

One of her tears dropped down to the picture frame. The memory of Branch made Poppy feel even worse. 

She decided to settle herself for a good night’s rest. Tomorrow she would surely feel much better. Poppy turned on her side and closed her eyes, welcoming sleep to take hold of her.

During her sleep, a light suddenly flared into existence, dim behind Poppy’s closed eyelids. She clenched her eyes tighter together and rolled over to escape the small nuisance. The light was still there, and the warm and cozy bed was a little less so. Poppy opened her eyes to a sliver, then fully so.

A spotlight? And the bed was gone, replaced by a rough, stone floor. Poppy lifted herself off the ground and slowly made her way towards the lit area. What was this place? Was I dreaming? she thought. She reached the spot and bathed in the light. A black void surrounded her in every direction, except for the moon, which was positioned in the center of a starless sky.

This place… it felt so lonely… and so familiar, like Poppy knew everything about it, but didn’t recognize it at all. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see this, feel this, live this. It was almost like this was in her own mind.

Poppy began to sing to capture her mood:

You rest inside my mind

Since the day you came

A wind blew around her, pushing the fog away and leaving her untouched. Long-familiar features finally began to come into focus. First a rocky floor, then the center studying table, followed by the walls with shelves and baskets of supplies and survival equipment. 

Poppy knew this place. “Branch’s bunker!” she whispered, putting her hands up to her mouth and tears running down her face. She must be dreaming!

“Come on, Branch! I knew you wouldn’t miss the big day!”

Poppy’s eyes shot fully open. She knew that voice from out of nowhere…it was her own.

“I don’t know about this, Poppy.”

The pink Troll turned around and found a projection of herself talking to Branch, who was in Troll form in that time of the day. They glowed, with trails of foggy light seemingly evaporating off of them and disappearing into thin air.

“Why don’t you want to come to their wedding?”

Branch rubbed his chin, his eyes speaking volumes about his apprehension. “Are you sure your best friend will be alright to marry the king?” he asked Poppy.

“Of course!” Poppy told him enthusiastically. “Bridget and King Gristle are getting married today! They’re inviting all of us to their wedding! Why you want miss the chance to go to Bergen Town again? I thought you liked Bergens because they don’t eat us anymore!”

“I know!” Branch said awkwardly, nodding and raising his arms up. Then he hung his head, feeling a wave of sadness across his face. “It’s just...if only my grandma were here to see our happy village.”

Poppy clenched her eyes shut, remembering the day she used to comfort Branch over the loss of his grandma, who got eaten by the Bergen Chef when he was a little young boy a long time ago.

The foggy image of Poppy hugged Branch, and he hugged back, enjoying the pressure of her big warm hugs. “Oh, Branch,” she told him. “I can see how you felt. But now that we made peace with the Bergens and you regained your true colors, there is nothing to worry about. I’m sure your grandma will be so proud of you, smiling down from heaven.”

“Thank you, Poppy,” Branch said gratefully. “You were always there for me when you helped me to be happy.”

“And I knew you always were,” Poppy added. 

The two Trolls looked at each other lovingly and leaned forward, bringing each other’s lips close...

Poppy’s body trembled against the threat of tears. She did her best to shake it off and watched as the apparitions of herself and Branch disappeared. His chance to see Bridget and King Gristle’s wedding would be the best from him… At least he got to see it, and she is glad he enjoyed it. She quietly sung a few words:

I knew you would be with me

All the time we spent 

“Hey, Poppy! How’s it going?”

Poppy got startled from her song when another memory of herself visiting Branch again sprung up to the right.

Her image approached Branch. “Hey there, Branch!” she said proudly. She noticed that he is stashing some acorns in a bag. “What are you doing?”

“Storing food for the winter,” he said. “Why are you here? Aren’t you cold?” Branch looked so worried that she might be getting a frostbite if she went to his bunker without any warm clothes. He turned to a closet and cried “Let me get you some warm clothing!”

“No,” Poppy corrected him. “How could you forget? I’m here to give you a Christmas present!”

Poppy immediately remembered this! It was Christmas in Troll Village, and she went to visit Branch’s bunker to offer him a holiday blessing. Thankfully, Branch was able to accept the offer and unwrapped his gift with mere anticipation.

Branch’s jaw dropped open wide at his Christmas present. He was totally speechless at what Poppy give to him. “Whoa! No way!” he said, excitement gripped his throat. “A SuperTroll action figure?!”

Poppy tried not to laugh so that her boyfriend can agree with her. “Yes!” she squeaked, nearly throwing her arms wide to hug him.

Branch was overwhelmed with love and admiration. After pulling himself away from her hug, he moved his SuperTroll toy around, pretending that it can fly. “You’re the best, Poppy!” he said happily. “How can I ever thank you for this?”

“Well, you can always thank me as much as you want!” Poppy said proudly, smirking at him. Then she yanked him to the bunker elevator, and Branch was suddenly confused.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked.

“I’m sure you would love a good snowball fight!” said Poppy, bouncing up and down with excitement.

“Um, what are you talking about?” Branch didn’t understand what she was planning for him.

“Come outside! I’m sure you’ll love the snow!” With pride in her step and a determined smirk, Poppy hopped on the elevator platform, with Branch pulling the lever, rising themselves upwards into a flash of green fog. That was always like Branch; no matter what the situation, he would always be willing to come with her and help her, whether he enjoyed the fun or not.

As the memory disappeared, Poppy sang:

What we shared was surely

Warm enough to know you cared for me

“DANCE BREAK!!!” A familiar cry caught her ear; Poppy turned to see herself preparing to dance excitedly while Branch overreacted in horror.

She recognized this moment. Branch had never been too keen on overreacting just for the fun of himself. He’d only ever overreacted in some circumstances whenever something for a party was forgotten. One day, it was Guy Diamond’s birthday party at that time, and Poppy and Branch wanted to organize the party with a huge success, and they were busy setting up the balloons and banquet. During that one moment of preparation, Poppy started doing a victory dance and Branch nearly panicked, as if they were forgetting something.

“Clear the area!” he yelled, frantically looking around and waving his arms around. “Check for potential tripping hazards! Establish a perimeter for an open path for non-dancing Trolls to pass!”

Finally, Branch faced Poppy, who was staring at him and knew he had overreacted once. He threw his hands up in the air and dramatically cried out “DO WE HAVE ENOUGH LIQUID IN THE AREA FOR HYDRATION?!”

For a moment, everything was silent. Branch turned to Poppy’s glaring expression and hung his head, embarrassed at his outburst. “Okay then, point taken,” he said. “I’m sorry. I was overreacting for the sake of myself.”

Poppy’s image giggled and offered a genuine smile. She pushed her fist against Branch’s shoulder to playfully tease him before being engulfed in the fog of her mind, like all the rest.

Poppy turned away and was met by a large opening in the wall. She stepped outside into an open field, lit only by a sun hidden far below the horizon and a plethora of scattered stars. A green mist materialized beside a pod far from her gaze. It slowed and the fog fell off, revealing another image of herself, giggling as she showed Branch a drawing of himself with a porcupine quill-like hairstyle, whom he grimaced at. Poppy couldn’t place this memory, but it was yet another time they were at Maddy’s barber shop. Just as soon as they appeared, they disintegrated into ashes and disappeared into the night sky.

Poppy closed her eyes, taking in the sounds of chirping insects in the tall grass. Sounds became muffled, as if she’d been placed behind a window and was no longer really there. She opened her eyes to the sight of trees sprouting out of the earth, surrounding her wherever she turned.

Once again, the familiar faces of this dream appeared, appearing in a forest, only to disappear once more as each memory tended to do. To calm herself down, Poppy sang as the images played out from her mind:

Light floods through memories

Helps me walk my path

As she kept singing, Poppy was now on a rotating pedestal, lifted up high enough that she would be out of reach. On the memories played, showing her more of the happy times she had with Branch: the time when Poppy was curious of an emergency lever encased in a glass box he had created in the corner of his bunker and Branch warned her for her safety, advising her not to break the glass and pull it unless there will be danger. 

She remembered the time when she sheepishly told the truth to him after she accidentally breaks his vase made out of clay.

Poppy also remembers that one time she discovers his polished brass knuckles in his drawer, leading Branch to snatch it from her as she teasingly held her hand high from him, her fingers buckled within the shiny object. The memories surrounded Poppy with such dizzying velocity that she felt the need to curl up in a ball and hide. 

She quietly sang some words as her voice nearly shook:

I'll keep my head up high

Words of faith and love

Your strength gives me hope

Someday I'll find you with open arms

The memories all vanished in the fire of the setting sun, not unlike the one that had greeted her when she arrived home.

It was quiet. Poppy wasn’t sure she would hear it if she even spoke, but slowly a sound echoed around her. Ahead of her was a large clearing occupied by endless lumps of snow. Cut through the center of the area was a path, and the source of the sound.

Another ghostly image of Poppy ran down the path towards her. This memory was different. There was an urgency in her step, and Branch was nowhere to be seen.

“Poppy?”

Her breath caught as she faced a Troll with blue hair wearing a scarf, with his back facing her. Right in front of her, staring down the path, was Branch.

As Poppy’s mirror image closed in, Branch gave a happy wave before running in and hugging her tight. She looked on, as a lump formed inside her throat and a pang of sadness took hold of her. The other Poppy had tears in her eyes when she embraced Branch in the middle of the snow.

“What’s wrong, Poppy?” he asked in the memory, concerned about her emotion.

“Nothing,” she wept, trying to smile.

“Tell me what is wrong with you,” Branch said in his gentle voice. He lifted her chin with one hand to make her look directly into his eyes, but the sad pink Troll is unable to be comforted, looking down at the ground and crying.

“Don’t cry,” Branch said warmly, doing his best to comfort her. “It’s okay. I’m right here now. You can tell me what is your problem.”

“Branch, there is something I need to tell you,” Poppy said sadly.

“What is it?” asked Branch, pulling her tightly into his arms.

“One day, what if you leave me and get yourself into trouble? What’s gonna happen?” Poppy quickly paused for a moment, trying to hold back her sobs. Branch hugged her close, and she broke down in his arms. She poured out her sorrows and upcoming predictions to him. He listened without interrupting before he gently comforted her. He gave her valuable advice while he hugs her tight, assuring her that it was not the end of the world and that soon, all would be well.

“Nothing’s going to separate you from me,” Branch assured her, smiling. “It’ll be fine, Poppy. I’ll always be right here…in your heart.” He pointed out his finger to her chest as he said this, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Poppy leaned in close to his touch and was able to calm down. Together, they gazed lovingly at the beautiful sunset far from them.

Poppy forced her eyes shut, wishing the image would go away. That was it, the lie she had ever heard of her life. Why didn’t Branch have the guts to just tell the truth of his mistakes? At least if only he had told her… If he had told her that he accidentally pulled out the Archaeo morphisis mushroom that one single night, then maybe she’d at least know what to expect. She would have stop him from touching the mushroom, which Branch would then have to choose to lie about, or tell the terrible truth.

But it was too late to save his life now. Branch did promised that he will not leave her side, but he broke it for now. Her entire life is shattering to pieces as she predicted that she would live in a world without a village grump walking around and carrying sticks in his arms. Poppy knew Branch decided to lie, anyway, with the hopes that she could somehow conjure up the miracle cure needed to save him. But now she had failed him, and he would never forgive her.

Plus, she would never forgive herself too.

The world around Poppy grew dark, and her eyes grew heavy. The weight she had been carrying finally pushed her down to the ground. Her head became light and she felt the life escaping her as the air in her lungs escaped through constricting pressure. Tears streamed down her face through her closed eyes, dripping onto the packed dirt beneath her.

“You promised me to not leave me, Branch,” she murmured. “I know you were always in my heart...”

Soon, Poppy shot out of bed in reality, still holding on to her photo frame of herself and Branch and gasping for any air she could take in. Her body trembled as she fought to catch her breath.

Once Poppy managed to calm down, she sat back against the pillow and studied the darkness in her room. She could see faint silhouettes scattered around her. She fixated on one of them, studying the intricate curves of the craft. Suddenly, a ghostly mist began to weave around the object, and it began to turn to face her. Poppy shook her head and looked again; it was gone. Just her mind playing tricks on her.

The dream was still clear in her mind. Memory after memory, the happiness between Poppy and Branch was apparent, except for that last one. Branch had been scared and looked to her for answers. He trusted her, and she betrayed that trust.

One thing each memory had in common, though, was that Branch was always there. He was always there for her when she needed him. So why, after a few days of disappearing, was she not by his side now?

Without anyone to hug and comfort at bedtime, Poppy felt completely lost and alone. She looked up at the darkened pink ceiling and sighed. “Branch, where were you when you always need me?” she wondered. She couldn’t think where he had gone to, and hoped that he would be in a better place any time now.

Meanwhile, deep in the woods, Branch, stuck in his cat form, sat on a cliff near a river, heartbroken. It had been a long time since he had been chased by the Animal Control officer an hour ago. A cold breeze drifted over him and he shuddered. He had no idea how many hours he had been sitting here. With a deep sigh, he placed his chin between his front paws and brushed at the tearstains dripping out of his whiskers.

Branch gazed down at the river, where he can see his own reflection. He had never felt so hopeless in his life. Then he spotted a small rock in front of him and flicked it with his paw, sending it dropping into the water.

The liquid rippled, and through his own eyes, he can see that his watery reflection changed into his old Troll self, all dressed in his usual green vest and brown shorts and with pointed elf-like ears sticking out on the sides of his head.

Branch took a moment to look down at the reflection in the river. Seeing his Troll form down there made him feel even more worse. He closed his eyes and shed a tear, letting it fall into the river again. When the water rippled again, his reflection reverted to his cat form.

Dropping his head to his front paws, Branch sighed and curled his long blue tail around his body, blaming himself for ignoring Poppy and King Peppy’s warnings. The life he had always known was gone forever, and he needed to accept his fate.

                                               To Be Continued...

                                            Stay tuned for Part 22!

Note: This time, there were not much pictures in this one. For the most part, I'm very happy with how it turned out! The part is based off the music video “Memories” that I created last year, with some parts of it incorporated into the paragraphs. I hope I did the video justice because it really was incredible to me. 

I give you a link to the video! I dare you to watch it while you read through this part because it is linked to it.

Click here for the “Memories” music video! Good luck reading it! 😊💙💖

[dfcfanfics]

Rumination on Communication

Some kind commenters gave me very nice feedback on my post-Season-3 one-shot, After the Storm Breaks (on sale now at a FFN or AO3 near you!).  The phrase “fix-it fic” came up a couple of times.  And I reflected on what I wrote and what I’ve seen, and had to sit back and consider... what, exactly, is it that’s broken?

A compliment that I’ve gotten a few times on my stories is that “you write a Marinette and Adrien that can actually talk to each other and be honest with each other.”  Well, yeah, and I’m far from alone in that; _those_ are the ideal Marinette and Adrien that can actually make some Love Square progress and realize that potential.  Looking back on Season 3 in general, though, it becomes clear that for a show with no serial episode continuity... they actually did a pretty good job weaving a consistent theme through the episodes, and that is that an inability to communicate effectively is the major flaw that needs to be overcome by Our Heroes and their supporting cast.

Marinette and Adrien are, of course, simply made for each other.  She fell for him the instant that umbrella reached out toward her... but it wasn’t just the kindness of his action.  It was what he did right before that; he opened up to her about himself, he shared a piece of himself honestly and directly even though she’d been unwittingly misjudging him, and he did so without expectation.  And her heart went aflutter.  What are some things that he really likes about her?  She’s honest to a fault.  She hates lies and liars.  She’s passionate about the things she believes in and ready to stand up in their defense.  She’s the first one to put others’ needs above her own.  She doesn’t play games or put up false fronts.  (Oh, if he only knew.)

And when they turn their brains off and simply _be_ with each other, things click.  Look at the Startrain cuddle scene, the casual intimacy, the closeness.  Look at Oblivio, the instant connection when they are with each other without inherited expectations and beliefs.  Look at the facial expressions that Adrien has been giving Marinette all season long.  The romantic potential is _completely_ there, and will eventually be there.  But... 

* Marinette tries to express herself in a letter, since she can’t say it out loud... and Fate says “uh-uh, no short cuts, here’s some suppositories for you instead.”

* Marinette gets pressured into confessing to a wax statue... but it’s not a statue, it’s the real deal, and once _again_ she explodes with anxiety and lies to Adrien’s face about her feelings, cementing in his mind that she’s simply not interested in him that way.  

* Marinette tells Chat Noir she’s in love with him as a desperate cover story... and that snowballs into an awkward lunch where they’re both dancing around being honest with each other, for fear of hurt feelings.

* Adrien _realizes_ that Marinette had feelings for him, thanks to the Valentine that he finally discovers was from Marinette all along... but makes an assumption, based on both her to-his-face denial of feelings and what he saw in Silencer and Frozer, that she’s moved on, that she’s into Luka now.  And he never follows up on that or asks her about him.

* Adrien’s peer-interaction deficit bites him hard once again in Puppeteer 2, where he not only shatters Marinette with his reference to “the girl that I love,” but allows his worries and Nino’s bad information to convince him that this girl who’s made him handmade gifts, goes out of her way to appreciate him and is someone he truly cares about doesn’t even want him as a friend any more.  And, once again, rather than ask about that directly and figure out what (if anything) he’d done wrong... he lets it spiral into a bigger problem.

Communication issues happen beyond just the two of them, of course.  The class going from “Marinette is an avatar of Truth and goodness” to “hey, Lila’s here now so Marinette is just jealous” in one episode’s time spawned a million saltfics.  Chloe’s demotion from being Queen Bee gets danced around and somewhat avoided, leaving Chloe flashing the Bee Signal regularly and growing more and more despondent, and _that_ bites them all on the ass big time at the end of the season.  The Akumas in general, as usual, arise from a cavalcade of misunderstandings.

And what of our new love interests?  THEY, on the other hand... are capable of being direct and honest.  

Luka is as direct as they come in Silencer; he tells Marinette to her face as Silencer that he’s crazy about her, and then _repeats_ it as his true self.  And what does this do to her, an open confession from someone who’s turned her head in the past, a handsome and kind boy whom she really likes?

...Nothing.  She has no idea how to process it.  She’s locked onto Adrien 120% and blows right by what Luka said, calling him “just a friend” afterwards, not taking the implications of his words seriously until much later.

Kagami, in her own words, “never hesitates.”  And yet... socially, she does.  She is lonely, she is reaching out for friendship, she is eager to experience things with friends her own age.  Once she gets to know Marinette, the two of them click, surprising Marinette greatly.  Sensing Marinette’s interest in Adrien, Kagami _does_ hold back for a while, giving Marinette an opportunity to speak her mind... but when Marinette doesn’t, Kagami doesn’t want to hurt Marinette, but just sitting back and waiting isn’t who she is.  She expresses herself to Adrien directly and unmistakably, and while it’s up in the air whether that’ll stick... she has more immediate success on the romantic front with Adrien than Marinette has had in three seasons.

We all know that Adrienette is endgame.  It simply has to be.  But in the meantime, when Adrien stares at Ladybug rejecting him for at least the fifth time, then eyes Marinette longingly but can’t talk with her about whether she and Luka are a thing, and then has an attractive, engaging friend lean in for a kiss and ask him to be hers?  And when Marinette sees what she thinks is Adrien officially going off the market, assuming that “the girl that I love” was Kagami all along, and then has this honest, open boy next to her who’s _right there_ and is a sure thing if she reaches out to him?

Adrienette is simply _not ready_ to happen.  

Maybe Adrigami and Lukanette will teach each of them some things about communication.  Maybe, with much romantic pressure removed, Adrien and Marinette _will_ learn to talk to each other in Season 4 or beyond.  Maybe each of them will learn to overcome their fears of rejection, fears of failure, fears of inadequacy and come back around to viewing each other in that light down the road.

But, for now... I think they both might be just where they need to be.