#then he can pray to his future or past selves.
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Okay. I typed this once and my phone died and it lost the post and I have a bad memory and was struggling with words anyway so I’m gonna try again but it might not be as good.
When there is an object involved in prayer or ritual it often is symbolic in someway. If he needs the drum stick between his teeth to pray it probably respresents something. And since its only one thing (AFAIK) that’s necessary it probably represents who he’s praying to. What I’m saying is that he’s praying to himself. He’s Jesus, he’s the Drumbot, it makes sense.
THE IVON YOURE USING IS MY FAVOURITE OUT OF THE DRUMBOT BRIAN ONES IVE MADE DO FAR IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT 🫶
YOU MADE IT?? THEYRE SO FUVKING GOOD I CHOOSE THAT ONE BECSUSE IT LOOKS LIKE HES PRAYING (and im a sucker for brian snf fucked uo religion)
#more jokes!#i find religions very interesting! so my brain is just gonna apply real normal thoughts about religion to this joke.#<- not sure that made sense. like its a joke im making but it kinda got into the weeds of dissecting it as if it were real#i know jesus prayed to god. but typing this out made me realize that i have never thought of who the god is to brians jesus. and im…-#pretty good (?) at applying christian or abrahamic story to other stories. so its odd that i never thought of that before#but theres also something too be said here about trinitarianism#i really like the idea of brian praying to himself. like himself at a different point in his life.#i dont believe in time. but the mechs universe has time travel. so if time is real and it can be fucked with#then he can pray to his future or past selves.#^ and *thats* the weeds. rambley religious weeds#oh i meant to add the qualifier of not really being raised in religion as well as looking at it from a more… anthropological view? maybe.-#to my being ‘pretty good’ at slapping biblical narratives onto modern stories#itd be cool if i was no so long winded i think#the mechanisms#drumbot brian#… fake symbology im making up for fake character but… why his teeth…
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2024/10/19, 一周忌
This is personal and I ramble a lot. You have been warned.
After nearly 12 hours of sleep, I cleaned up my home, set out some tea, shochu, dried sweets, roses, and a symbolic offering all for Acchan. I burned my best candle and incense, and rang my orin.
Unlike during past anniversary markers, I prayed nothing aloud but sat with only the silence and his image. I waited for the incense to burn away as I looked through the 2023 Genshou photobook and FT110 record of The Ceremony.
2023 Genshou was easier to watch than I expected it to be. I still went through a good portion of my tissue box, but there was much of it I could watch calmly and even more I could smile at, with or without tears. Much of the show was better than I remember, in part because I had a nosebleed seat. However, I can't deny how the boys know how to have fun on stage. It gave me some reassurance for the coming months.
Sorry no good screenshots of the boys this time. My focus was entirely on taking it in.
After that, I left a rose and message on the band's site for Acchan.
Somewhere in Takasaki, there's an intimate group dressed in black and meeting for dinner. In Fujioka, a group of fans are doing the same. I can't afford a trip out east right now, so I've observed rites alone.
But it's the observation that's important.
I've been seeing a lot of comments on the international side like, "I can't believe it's been a year." But I can, easily. You don't miss the days going by when you make a point to pray for his soul every week for seven weeks in a row, or for his happiness and peace in heaven every month on the day. You don't miss where it falls on the calendar when it comes after Issay's and is followed by Heath, Cayce, Reita. Every month is heavy.
I keep reminding myself that there are babes being born destined to be the next great people, both influential and kind. They are growing up, right now. You might pass them on the street or take the same bus. An interaction you might have with them might influence how quickly they do or don't become their best selves, and that's one reason why it's so important to be kind. Of course, they don't have to become greats to be worthy of kindness. We ought to be kind because the world is in such a deficit of it. We ought to be kind because it's the only hope we have of making the world better.
But it's so hard to feel that connection to strangers, to potentials who haven't yet touched your life the way the deceased already have. You can only really see what you've lost, and feel the pain of it. And so those observances become so important, not only to mark the calendar, but to have the right, the space, and the intention to grieve and process that loss. Outside of those times, we get on with the work of living. Hopefully, we do so a bit softer.
The first anniversary marks the end of the mourning period. I'm sure there will be times when I cry again. Sorrow is an old friend. But I do look forward to the future. We are one month and a day from getting a taste of the band's next sound. I don't expect to hear Acchan's voice, but I have no doubt he will be there still.
The Parade goes on.
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Hi, i just speedran the entire webcomic yesterday and kinda maybe? spoiled myself with the webnovel here on tumblr and i just had to ask--
Do you ever think lloyd ever mourns his past selves?
All the iterations of him that worked so, so hard to get closer to their goal but ultimately failed due to some blindsided error or something he didnt consider, and at the moment of their death, tried so hard to give at least one tiny hint to the next iteration of lloyd who would inevitably do the same things the last lloyd did up to that point and just hoping-- praying to whatever higher power is up there, that at least this version of lloyd, this next one, would get at least a little farther than him?
Do you think that, on a quiet moment after lloyd overcomes whatever killed a past version of him, he sheds a few tears for them? Counting how many lloyds deaths and clues and hints that helped him get to this point? Do you think that, with the weight and trust in all his past selves have in him or at least some version of him, he feels some sort of motivation to keep going? To go farther than all these past lives and accomplish what they couldnt both in his own name and theirs?
Do you think Javier ever finds him shedding these few too many (too little) tears and etching another line in either a notebook or his shovel and wondered, who are those lines for? What or who do they represent? Why do you cry for these lines? And why do they keep increasing in number?
I dunno, i just saw your post abt tbe Ending Spoiler thing and my brain couldnt stop brrrrrrrrr-ing since yesterday
ooohhh i like how you think <33 we can give lloyd so many more issues. besides the ones he already has obviously :)
i'll try to avoid as many spoilers as i can but still general warning for novel spoilers yada yada
i think. i think lloyd is way too busy to grieve. after all, grief is. it is too big. it is too heavy. if you stop and let it catch up to you it sticks to you and weights you down and makes it hard to start going all over again. and lloyd can't afford that, he has so much to do, so many things that need his attention, so many problems he has to solve, he can't. stop and think about it.
(he can't think of his future/past selves who lost everything and everyone and slowly one by one lost the will to keep on going. who had to have known he'd see them dying, that had to know they died and their deaths were nothing more than a warning for him. that's what grief does to you. it's what grief did/does/will do to him. he can't think about it)
(he does. constantly. endlessly)
(lloyd is good at lying)
(he's self-aware enough to know he's good at lying to himself too)
he sees those other versions of him and it's him, they act, speak, think like he does, they did exactly what he would've done, if he hadn't cheated, if he hadn't looked into the future, if he hadn't used histheir deaths to avoid falling to the same mistakes they did, that would've been him too.
but he did. so he isn't. and that's. that's enough for now. they died and he would've died but they died making sure he wouldn't and he can't stop to think about that because if he does the grief will catch up to him and he's seen what grief does to him and he can't afford to waste theirhis efforts like that.
(and if he cries in his room when the world is asleep and there's no work to be done until the sun comes out then that's between his pillow and him) (and the knight that eventually learned how to feign sleep because he has a master that puts himself in danger like he knows javier would fight heaven and hell themselves to keep him safe but also puts him to sleep before sneaking out to who knows where so what's the point-)
(the knight sometimes thinks his master is grieving someone but he doesn't know how to ask about it without asking if it's someone from a different world) (he adds it to the list of questions he has for when his master finally decides to trust him enough to tell him the truth)
(if the knight had known he never would he wouldn't have waited. an angry master was better than a dead one)
lloyd is, above anything else, pragmatic. he sees his future selves die and he takes the knowledge they desperately threw his way in a last ditch effort for him to avoid their fate and he applies it to his own fate and he doesn't die and he goes on living because theyhe died for this so he can't ruin it by feelings of all things
but. he marks them down, one by one, because if there's anything worth remembering, seeing yourself die and then avoiding it should be somewhere in that list. and it's a strange feeling, being able to look and count how many times he's cheated death, how many times he's tried over and over again to get the happy ending he's looking for. how many times he's failed but most importantly how many time's he's succeeded at getting closer to it.
he's already this far, he can't let himself (themselves?) down by not getting there at the end, now can he?
#hey i got an ask#the-2nd-random-kid#the greatest estate developer spoilers#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#i just think. lloyd should've seen himself die a few more times. for plot reasons :)#also for bonus points it should've been increasingly obvious that as time went on and more attempts were made#and more visions were had. lloyd's deaths started being more and more self inflicted with each spoiler.#like. it starts with a monster invasion. then a sickness. then alcohol poisoning. then death by javier. and then. well.#i just think we should've gotten to see the obvious conclusion#altho maybe the ending can count 🤔?? mmmm many thoughts about that#thank you for the ask it was delightful <333#tged
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From Darkness to Light!
"Sloughing Towards Galilee!
Fifth Sunday of Lent!
March 17, 2024
From Darkness to Light!
Louis L'Amour once said: There will come a time when you believe everything is finished, that will be the beginning."
These last months I have thought my time was coming to an end, both physically and professionally; Others like Job's friends echo the same pronouncements: you have failed, you are too old, and it is time to retire! I have been touchy, and irritable, I say the wrong responses, and my moods have been low!
And like Job, I have begun listening to the God within me; and memories flood me. One is of a fifteen-year-old sitting on the street corner in the Haight, selling the Amethys in the above cross, to a man for $100.00, and when he saw me told the man "No!", rose to his feet, handed me the Amethyst, hugged me, and said, "Thank you, you have saved my life, you have never known that, but you have, thank you!" And so the Amethyst stone was placed in the center of the cross, for me to wear, to remind me sometimes, and I mean sometimes, the presence of Jesus shows through. I know I make so many mistakes!
Today, on this fifth Sunday of Lent, my 30th year in ministry, I understand we stand at a crossroads, faced with a choice: do we continue to walk the familiar path, holding on to old grievances, judgments, and patterns? Or do we envision a brighter, future of hope for ourselves and the world?
Throughout the past decade, humanity has weathered storms of adversity, from the ravages of the global pandemic of COVD--a disease which continues, and in its wake, we are dealing with monkeypox and RSV to the upheavals of change in our society. Wars are raging around the world, people are starving, and migrants throughout the world are suffering.
My heart is full of pain with the people without housing and health care, on the streets of San Francisco, really full of pain. It is easy to fall into a deep depression, to walk away and succumb to fear and uncertainty, to believe that our current circumstances are unchangeable.
But today, I, all of us, can choose differently, that is a great opportunity! We can grab the power within each one of us for transformation in our lives. We are not bound by the constraints of our past selves, or of others, but we can choose to follow Jesus in his walk steadfastly towards Jerusalem, we can effect profound transformation in our lives and what is around us. We can shed our old skins, those negative thoughts, and lack of hope, and in the resurrection of Christ find a new, radiant life.
Dorothy Day once said: "The Church is both our Mother and a whore!" I have seen both sides personally, and have chosen the "Mother", God present with us, to find joy and fulfillment. I refuse to listen to any talk of what we can not change, the past, but choose where I see Christ in the Church, and pray my work is one expression of Christ. I have chosen not to talk politics, but of seeing all as God's children!
I have chosen, and hope you will as well, to embark on a journey of self-discovery and awakening tapping into the boundless reservoir of joy, abundance, and peace within us. We realize that we are not merely physical beings, animals, but brightly shining beings of love, capable of miracles beyond our comprehension.
So let us cast off the chains of the past, and embrace the limitless possibilities of the moment. Let us live in each moment, and dare to dream of a world where the redeeming love of the Cosmic
Christ reigns supreme, where every soul shines as a spark of God, seeking to provide for the homeless, the hungry, and the suffering around us, remembers the words of Dorothy Day, "Those who cannot see Christ in the poor are atheists indeed!"
I remember the words of Joshua each moment of the day, calling me forward:
"Be strong and stand firm. Be fearless and undaunted, for wherever you go, the Lord your God is with you."
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(Temenos and Fr. River seek to remain accessible to everyone. We do not endorse particular causes, political parties, or candidates, or take part in public controversies, whether religious, political or social--Our pastoral ministry is to everyone!
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Press Release:
"Jesus continues to be crucified in all those who are crucified in history...There are not enough Stations of the Cross to depict all the ways in which the Lord continues to be persecuted, imprisoned, condemned to death and crucified today!"
-Leonardo Boff
What: Non-Violent Witness in the Tenderloin to commemorate Good Friday!
Tenderloin Stations of the Cross
“A Journey With People on the Street!”
“Our Haunted-ness!”
When:
March 29, 2024
Noon-2:00 p.m.
Meet in Front of Polk Street-Side City Hall
Why:
There are approximately 8, 000 people on the street, without housing, or health care, they suffer from prejudice, anger, and hatred; they are shuffled around as if they are "objects" rather than human beings.
As followers of Jesus, and all who care, living in a war-making and uncaring empire we say loudly and clearly with Jesus: "Love one Another," "Love your enemies", "Be merciful as God is merciful," "Put away the sword," and "Thou shalt not kill."
We witness as people of faith who believe in God's reign of justice, love, peace, and restorative justice!
Sponsored by Temenos Catholic Worker
For more information:
Fr. River Sims, D.Min., D.S.T.
415-305-2124
www.temenos.org
www.paypal.com
Day of (No) Silence 2024: Rise Up. Take Action.
History of Day of (No) Silence: Started in the mid 90’s by two college students, Day of Silence has expanded to reach hundreds of thousands of students each year. Every April, students would go through the school day without speaking, ending the day with Breaking the Silence rallies to bring attention to ways their schools and communities can become more inclusive.
2024 Day of (No) Silence: With more than 800 anti-LGBTQ+ bills introduced last year, we must Rise Up and Take Action. GLSEN’s Day of NO Silence is a nationally recognized student-led demonstration where LGBTQ+ students and allies all around the country—and the world— protest the harmful effects of harassment and discrimination of LGBTQ+ people in schools.
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Crossover, mini Link meet
You know what everyone who doesn't remember Hero and who's not reading All That Hurts Us need?
A crossover of the two!
See, the thing is, Hero!Link is super easy to cross over with any other Link because he can send his spirit to visit his past selves. So I couldn't resist getting him to bother ATHU!Link for a bit.
And besides, getting several Links to interact is pretty popular nowadays, right?
***
Hyrule Field, not far from the Great Plateau, two nights after Heroes’ Day
Link knew he should sleep – there was nothing else productive he could do at the moment. He had no idea what to do next other than seeking guidance or help from the Goddesses, which was already pretty desperate, and he couldn’t do that until morning.
So he was lying down on his side, eyes closed, as comfortable as he could be with his travel blanket and pillow, and he was wide awake.
He was therefore on his feet, ready to draw in a flash when he heard someone clearing their throat.
He stared. The only thing around was what appeared to be the ghost of a… not quite Hylian person. Their skin was pale like most Hylians, but their ears were barely pointy at all. Whoever it was, they’d had a rough life: they were so skinny and slight that every one of their bones in the unclothed parts of their body seemed ready to poke out of their skin. Link guessed they’d died of hunger.
The apparition was staring right back.
“Who…” it said. And then looked around. “Okay, er, this is going to sound like a weird question but... is there anyone around who… er… wait. Is that…?”
The strange ghost’s eyes had just fixed on the handle of the Master Sword. Link’s eyes narrowed slightly. He was very confused and the last thing he needed right now was for his life to get more complicated.
“The Master Sword,” he confirmed. “Who or what are you looking for?”
The apparition’s eyes widened. “It IS you!” he exclaimed. “Ok, that makes more sense. Sorry I didn’t recognize you, you look different. First time I see a past me with dark skin. Wait. Your ears! You’re not even Hylian!”
Link quirked an eyebrow. Most of that was utter gibberish. He took a wild guess based more on the ghost’s reaction to the sword than to anything he had said. “You’re looking for the Hero? And you didn’t know I was Sea Folk?”
The apparition scratched its head and looked down. “We don’t know that much about most of the past ones,” he said.
Link tilted his head. “Past ones?”
The apparition swallowed and then did a little waive. “Hi. Sorry if I woke you up. I’m your future self. I can send my spirit into the past. I had NO idea some of my past selves were not Hylian! You say you’re from the sea?”
Link lowered his hand away from the handle of his sword. The apparition was making it very difficult to feel threatened.
“My grand-parents came across the sea to Hyrule. They weren’t living on the Sea or anything, it’s just that… well, that’s how you get here from there. I was born here, my parents were born here, but the lot of us are called Sea Folk. I’m not sure I believe you’re my future self, for the record. Just the same, what do you want?”
“I was aiming for someone who was trying to get help from the Goddesses,” the apparition said. “I… need their help. But I don’t know how to ask for it. Zelda says to pray, but we tried that, and it’s not working. We’re probably doing it wrong.”
“The Princess’s prayers are going unanswered even though it’s your last resort?” Link said. The idea was a bit horrifying, mostly because it confirmed the same thing could very well happen to him tomorrow morning. “Where did you try? It might be desecrated. Do you have any way to tell?”
The apparition’s eyebrows were threatening to disappear in his hairline.
“It matters where you do it?” he said. “What’s desecerated? Is it bad?”
Link sagged a bit. “You have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, do you?” he asked.
The apparition blushed and shook his head. “Zelda doesn’t either. She knows about praying, and when we did it to the Sages it worked, but…”
Link sat down and gestured for the apparition to do the same.
“Ok. Goddesses are only sort of omniscient. They are, but for the most part they’re not paying attention. The Three LEFT Hyrule, you know that much, right? They mostly don’t get involved. And Hylia… she hasn’t left but...” he trailed off. Hylia was not always aware of suffering in the present because she was stretched between the past and the future.
“That’s what I told Zelda!” Link said. “We have to figure out how to get them to hear us first if we want them to do what we're asking!”
Link felt heat going to his head and did his best not to scowl too hard. He got up but schooled his voice as well as he could to sound merely pissed instead of furious as he stared down his supposed future self. The apparition startled anyway.
“Okay, listen,” Link said. “I, and every other hero, have the Goddesses’ blessings. Farore grants us the courage to put up with all this and to keep fighting, and to face anything. Din gives us so, so much power. And Nayru gives us the wisdom and love we need to put that courage and power to a purpose and to feel something else than doomed. And Hylia… is harder to explain.” Hylia was literally in love with their soul and mourning their separation, but her blessings were less predictable and much harder to pinpoint. “The point is, they deserve your respect. Don’t entertain the thought of them sitting in wait for the opportunity to do as mortals bid. That’s beyond insulting. Prayers are not spells that compel them to do what you want.”
The apparition had the good sense to look chastised and not to argue.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “How do I reach them? How do I ask for help nicely?”
Link took a deep breath. “All right. You say you’re from the future? How much of the Great Plateau is still standing? How are the temples?”
The apparition blinked. “I don’t know what the Great Plateau is,” he said apologetically.
Link sighed. “No worship, no great plateau… I guess it follows. Are the three Sacred Springs still around?”
The apparition shook its head. “I have no idea what those are. I’m making the future look bad, aren’t I?”
Link shrugged. “IF you’re from the future,” he said. “I honestly have enough to worry about in my current lifetime without fretting about a future one ahead of schedule. Anyway, if there’s no actual proper place of worship, I think your best bet is places they would like. Shrine or not, they’re more likely to notice you there.”
He held up a finger. “Farore likes plant and animal life, particularly forests. Her shrine was in Faron Woods but it’s been defiled… not sure she’ll go back there in particular.” He held up a second finger. “Nayru likes water and ice. That can be anywhere almost, but the more the better? Her shrine is on top of a frozen mountain right now.” He held up a third finger. “Din likes fire of course. Look on or around Death Mountain.”
He paused and crossed his arms. “Hylia… ok, I don’t want to get into details if you don’t already know them, but if you really are the Hero reborn, Hylia might listen to you if you need her. Even more so than to her Royal Highness Princess Zelda.”
The apparition looked thoughtful. “It’s mostly Zelda that’s been trying,” he said. “You think I might be able to reach Hylia? Would… would she be able to help with…” he trailed off.
“If you’re from the future, does it really strategically matter what you reveal to me?”
The apparition bit his lips.
“We’re trying to get the triforce back from Ganon,” he finally said.
Link’s legs suddenly gave out and he found himself falling back on his blanket.
“Ganon… has the TRIFORCE??” he asked. “All of it? How?? There’s no WAY he managed balance! It should separate as soon as he makes a wish again, and only grant part of it! He can’t have all of it!”
The apparition did not meet his eyes. “Zelda said it should separate too, but it hasn’t yet. She thinks he’s not actually joining them, just keeping them until he figures it out. They’re still giving him power though.”
“Would it kill you to respect the Princess too…” Link groaned before shaking his head. He knew he was focusing on something that didn’t matter to distract himself from the thought of Ganon having gotten his hands on the triforce again, but seeing as this particular issue was literally Future Him’s problem, he felt he could allow himself some leeway for his own peace of mind.
“Oh, er. Zelda in my time is not a princess. We don’t have Kings and stuff anymore.”
Link’s eyes widened. “She has no title at all, she’s just a regular citizen? Doesn't that make it harder to keep track of Hylia’s bloodline?”
The apparition tilted his head briefly but shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean, sorry. I better go and try praying to Hylia. Thank you!”
He vanished instantly, leaving Link to stare at empty air.
#All That Hurts Us#Hero or more accurately Moving On#crossover#just for fun#Link of Given#Hero of Times#Legend of Zelda#my writing#Link Meet AU
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My about section is slightly outdated, so here is his about + portrayals.
He is half dragon, partially molded from Kurikara (or Orobashi), Makoto and Irminsul.
Kurikara is my theorized name for the electro sovereign, whom I also theorize is The Great One sealed below Kannazuka. I chose this name because it is the name of Raiden Mei’s dragon in Honkai Impact. Scaramouche himself has many similarities to Mei, I daresay more than Ei does.
This interpretation of Kabukimono is Wanderer, whom has purposefully reverted back to this innocent state after receiving his memories. This is why his memories are fractured. I know this heavily goes against the moral of his story, but there are reasons behind that choice. Also, he may slip into his past selves (wanderer + scaramouche).
More info regarding available portrayals under the cut 👇
PORTRAYAL
The Kabukimono described above is the default, but if anyone would like to interact with him from different points of time, these are available upon request:
Pre-Betrayal Kabukimono
the innocent doll with enough purity to make even the worst souls weep. the innocent doll with high naïveté that blinded him to ulterior motives of certain dark forces. Kabukimono lives in bliss, soaked in ignorance.
Pre-Fatui/Post Betrayal Kabukimono
Kabukimono is heartbroken and wandering once more. With no place to call his own and no care for humans, he leads a solitary life. He think himself a god among mortals. Maybe he is correct.
Fatui Recruit Kunikuzushi
He is a little messy with his kills. an unrefined diamond. He has joined the Tsaritsa and her ‘ragtag band of fools.’ Wherever the future may lead him, he is here for the fun and games. He wants to be useful again.
Sixth Fatui Harbinger; Scaramouche
Years of service have deemed him worthy to possess this title. Be careful what you say or do around the Balladeer. He has a short temper and zero patience for inept servants and weaklings.
(admin is mulling over creating a sideblog for Scaramouche only)
Shouki no Kami
Had he won his duel against Buer and the traveler, this ‘all-knowing god’ would’ve been the result. On your knees, onlooker, and properly pray your woes to this benevolent god. The byproduct of human ingenuity and an archon’s pain, not even the Heavenly Principles can touch him.
Wanderer
Slightly milder in attitude than harbinger Scaramouche, the wanderer is on the path to finding himself.
all of them are half dragon, half Ningyou (human-like doll).
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So bare with me people there is no rhyme or reason to my blog. Hopefully there are some people who can appreciate my posts. I’m so spiritual that my mental health was affected severely from child hood trauma and the trauma of our society and sick oppressive system aka the Kabal. Every time I close my eyes I astral project. I can’t get any sleep tonight because I just can’t stay in a state where I’m not in constant spiritual hyper activity. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a week and he is my comfort and my rock. I basically disassociated the entire time I was on my family vacation without him. Correction: the entire time. I am so sensitive to energy that it actually physically hurts me to be around low vibrational people. I’m a mystic. I’m much stronger than the average person and much more capable than the average spiritual person. I know of the evils of the world because I am very familiar with the evils inside of myself. The reality that I am unified with is far beyond what any normal person can sense. The depth of my existence is so profound that I can barely function in this 3d world. The constraints and demands that it puts on me are so intense that I just can’t possibly fit in and functioning is so strenuous that it takes all of my mental fortitude just to focus on my breath and live in the moment. Tasks become difficult because I can’t focus on anything but not slipping into the multidimensional torus of time. I’m so sensitive because I’m attuned. I’m not sensitive because I am weak. I’m not weak at all. The knowledge I have of myself is incredible and the sensitivity and innate intelligence that I possess makes me on the level of the great shamans of the past. I’m not entitled but I feel like what I offer to the world deserves preservation and I need others or I need someone to help me survive. Luckily I believe in my boyfriend and his ability and strength to overcome the hardships that this world has created. He has the power to rise above the constraints that these powers that be have put in place to make us separate from our spiritual selves and force us into a pidgeon hole because those powers are not so powerful and fear us. They fear people like me and people like my boyfriend. He is a formidable warrior. I rely heavily on him and I don’t even feel like a burden. I feel like a gift because he cherishes me. One message that I would like to pass on to an open mind is the importance of not judging and not criticizing and that compassion and empathy are super powers. He is both compassionate and empathetic, he is so familiar with these concepts that he knows them and embodies them more than me. And I hope to all of the true powers that be that this emboldens me to live a life of gratitude for my existence and servitude to the righteous path. I pray I do no wrong. Thanks for reading. I just hope I can get some sleep tonight. The future is promising and I have faith that we will be alright.
Message to my man: We the best! And I love you fervently
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What would Saeyoung and GE Saeran do or tell their younger selves if they happened to get a chance to meet them? Let's say they are suddenly teleported into the past and get to spend their times with their younger selves for a bit before coming back to the future
They can’t change the past. There’s things that they wished never happened, but they wouldn’t be who they are today if the past was different. So, the most important thing to say is that Saeran and Saeyoung won’t change what they’ve gone through even though it was hard. They’ve suffered, but what they’ve gone through has helped them be who they are today. They didn’t deserve to suffer in any way, but they don’t want to change what shaped who they are today.
That’s a hard conversation to think about but... yeah, it’s just important to get that out of the way. Saeran has made peace with what he’s been through and there’s nothing he would do to change it. He knows what happened was wrong and hard, but he found MC through his grief and he was able to learn how to be strong in his own way for once in his life. He found someone he loved and now he’s piecing his life together.
Saeyoung has gone through just about as much as his brother has, too. He gave up everything for Saeran... he suffered for it but he’s so happy to see that his brother is safe and sound. That’s the only thing he always wanted. As long as Saeran is happen, he has a lot less regret in his heart. Saeran isn’t mad at him for doing what he thought was right... they were children, praying and hoping for fairytales to work out.
They both did things that children do to survive, and those mistakes aren’t things that either of them blame the other person for. That’s a testament to therapy and the amount of work that they’re putting into themselves after the events that’ve occurred.
They don't blame each other for what happened in their childhood. They trusted people in their life to help them and it didn't exactly work out the way that they wanted. But, it's okay. It’s not easy, but it’s okay. They've been through some really hard experiences and yet, they came out on top. It was a hard ride to get to this point but they survived. The important thing is that neither of them would change anything. There’s a lot of people that might want to change their past for the better, but not the boys.
They wouldn’t have what they have now, and they don’t want to lose what they’ve got now.
Saeyoung would be pained seeing his younger self in that much discomfort. He would see those big golden eyes and know what kind of Hell that he’s about to live through for Saeran, and how he might doubt himself and think that what he has to do is worthless.
He knows what’s coming, but he knows that there’s not a thing he could ever do or say to stop himself. Saeyoung never quits. That’s both his sin and his grace. It’s a part of what makes him who he is. He is stubborn, he is strong, and he will never stop fighting. The child version of himself would give up everything in a second.
As an adult, he still would do that... but there’s something much more charged about his childhood self. He knows that look. He wants to say so much, but he can only think to hug himself and say, “You’re so brave to fight for your brother, Saeyoung. You would give up everything to keep him save. You will be okay and so will Saeran. Never stop fighting for Saeran, but... don’t forget to think about yourself, too. If you want Saeran to be happy, you have to make sure that you’re happy, too. Even if it’s the hardest fight of your life.”
Saeran would see himself as a child... tired... scared... petrified. He knows that feeling because he still has nightmares. He still suffers from what happened to him even though he’s been working to accept what happened to him. He knows what he has to do to survive, but the idea that this child is going to live through a waking nightmare for years by himself makes him feel sick. Yet, you’d never even know that’s what he’s thinking about because the first time he’d do is hug himself as a child.
His younger self would tear up because... even if he looks different, he looks strong... tall... and like he’s been in the sunshine. That’s all baby Saeran ever truly wanted. They might not exchange words because there’s so much that could be said that can’t be conveyed, but a lot can be said in a hug that you’ve craved your entire life.
“You’re going to survive, Saeran. You’re going to trip a few times, you’re going to cry, and you’re going to have a few hard days. But, we survived those... you’ve made this far and you will survive any other bad days that come. Never give up on Saeyoung, okay? Even if the world tries to kick you for it, believe in your big brother... and yourself. We’re just as strong as Saeyoung, and that’s because we believe in sky... ice cream... and all those puffy clouds. Smile, okay? One day, I promise you will live that fairytale you read about.”
#character analysis#mystic messenger#mysticmessenger#mm#mysme#saeyoung choi#choi saeyoung#luciel choi#choi luciel#707#seven#saeray#ge saeran#saeran#saeran choi#choi saeran#mystic messenger seven#mystic messenger saeran#mm saeran#mm seven#mysme saeran#mysme seven#saeran mystic messenger#saeran mysme#saeran mm#seven mm#seven mystic messenger#seven mysme
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yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao
okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.
however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.
anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.
i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).
so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.
- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.
- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.
- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.
- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.
- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.
- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.
- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.
- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.
anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.
purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.
human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.
everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.
they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.
also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.
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Why Holding On To Past Relationships Is The Worst Thing You Can Do For Yourself, Period
by Daniel Dowling via MindBodyGreen
Three years ago I was a 24-year-old failure-to-launch who lived on his mom’s couch and shared a bathroom with two teenage sisters. My friends had their own houses, degrees, and independence. And there I was, broke and depressed, totally reliant on my parents. It hadn't ever not been that way.
But in 2014 I made one small decision, which led to results I still sometimes can’t believe.
Today, I’m leading writers in a national campaign to rebrand my hometown, and I write for the best entrepreneurial and self-improvement sites in the world (mbg being my favorite; no lie). I make a great living coaching others to become the happiest and most successful versions of themselves. That’s a lot of change in just three years, from any perspective. And I can trace the transformation of my life back to one single thing: letting go of my exes—completely.
Breaking free from serial monogamy.
For most of my adult life I’d been a serial monogamist. I thought I just really loved love, but it turns out I was just really, really afraid of responsibility. So, for my personal dissatisfaction and unhappiness, self-improvement wasn’t the cure—it was a new girlfriend! And when that one didn’t work out, I'd find another. Yay for love!
Except it wasn’t love because I wasn’t becoming the best version of myself through these relationships. So after the last one ended ignominiously, I quit the love game—just not quite all the way.
I still kept in contact with my exes. And Jen—my former fiancee—was a particular crutch. We still visited each other even though we lived in different states. We kept in regular contact through texts and phone calls, especially during crises. I was still depending on her to make me happy.
Every time we talked, I renewed the connection to my former ways of thinking and behaving. It strengthened the conviction that, deep down, I could only be happy with Jen. She was my way out. If things got too tough, I could always come to her, and she could come to me. We even promised that if we weren’t married by 30, we’d get hitched. Talk about a safety net… (and, yes, also the plot of My Best Friend's Wedding).
Unfortunately, that safety net was keeping me from being the bold, successful, independent man I wanted to become. I just couldn’t seem to cut the cord on my own.
Flying without a net.
Then one day I was listening to an audio course from my favorite self-improvement mentor, Zig Ziglar. He was talking about how to right our wrongs and forgive ourselves. He advised writing apologies down and sending them to the appropriate people. But he had a special step for exes.
"When it comes to the forgiveness you want from your exes [Zig has a drawling Southern accent], I want you to follow all the steps I just gave you. But instead of sending off the letter, I want you to fold it up, light a fire, and burn the damn thing. Cuz there’s no point in renewing emotional connections with people who aren’t good for you. That’s why they're your exes! It’s time to move on from them and fully embrace your own life."
When one is slapped by truth, one’s jaw has a tendency of dropping, and the eyes have a tendency to glaze over, lost in a thousand-yard stare. That was the picture of my face. Might’ve even drooled a little.
I thought about Jen, and Em, and Katie. I thought about how important they’d been for me and how much security they’d brought me. And I knew I had to let them go for good. For good.
No more texts or calls. No more being Facebook friends. No email updates. No nothing.
I had anxiety about the decision, naturally—severing ties with my past and obliterating a huge comfort zone. But I had a future to step into. I had to do that on my own.
Dealing with the emptiness.
I missed my former girlfriends like crazy. But instead of feeling sorry for myself and longing for them, I prayed for them. I asked God for the same things I was asking for my own self-improvement journey—courage, faith, hope, positivity, inspiration, grace, and so on. I prayed for them to meet amazing and inspiring friends who could help them become their best selves. I prayed for my future wife. And I prayed that I would become the fully independent man capable of supporting her.
In all this praying, I completely changed my focus. Instead of relying on my girlfriends for faith and reassurance, I relied on God and my own ability to handle my problems. I took back the misplaced faith in my girlfriends and put it squarely in my own hands.
That’s when I finally launched.
Do you believe in life after love?
Just like Cher, I found my power only after letting go of my past relationships.
Without my exes as safety nets, it was just me. Nobody else was going to make me happy. So I did what I needed to do to make me successful—all the writing, studying, practicing, pitching, researching, and self-improvement. I actually become part of a community and made new friends. I fully embraced my own damn life.
Three months passed and I still missed my exes. But I was making money through my writing and making new connections.
Six months passed and I still missed my exes. But I’d started earning a full-time living through my writing. And I was growing more confident by the day, especially in my community.
A year passed and I still missed my exes. But I was fully independent through my passion. And I’d outgrown the anxiety and depression that had haunted me since I was a teenager—a by-product of my newfound faith in me.
It’s been three full years since I cut out my exes. I’m 100 percent over each one, but I’m human—I still miss them! Who wouldn’t? They were brilliant and beautiful women who were insanely fun to be with. I made thousands of joyful memories with each one.
Sometimes I’m reminded of them by hearing a certain song or watching a movie. But that’s just another opportunity for me to thank God for them and to pray for them. It’s another opportunity for me to be the independent and faithful man I know I can be for myself, for my wife, for my clients, and for my audience. It’s another opportunity to find security in myself and in a higher power. And through these opportunities, I’ve found the happiness and fulfillment I always wanted.
I advise all of my clients to go on a yearlong relationship fast, which most of them do. But the real growth comes when they fully let go of their exes and stop using them as crutches. It’s hard, hard, hard to do but absolutely essential if you want to grow.
Here are five tips to help you let go of your exes for good:
1. Start a self-improvement routine, complete with daily, weekly, and monthly goal setting.
Read this article as a primer.
2. Meet with someone weekly to discuss your personal growth and your journey.
This person will help keep you accountable to your goals and lifestyle choices. Can be a friend or an amazing coach.
3. Stay single for a year—totally single.
If you can’t be happy with you, you won’t be happy—truly happy—with anyone else. Love that you! Commit to being successfully single for a year. That means happy, connected in your community, fulfilled in your work, and in a state of continuous personal growth. (Your daily routines and long-term goals will be critical to this step.)
4. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people.
Join a faith community where people strive to live out the values you identify with. This is where you’ll find the deep connections that you can grow with—and that will prevent you from leaning on your exes as crutches.
5. Pray or meditate often.
Use your emotions as mindfulness cues. When you miss someone, pray for them. When you’re lonely, pray for the courage, positivity, and fortitude to make good decisions. When you think you can’t go on—that happens to everyone—pray for what you need. This will help you grow faith in a higher power and yourself, which is an absolute must if you want to be happy alone.
And being happy alone? That’s an absolute must for loving someone unconditionally in a relationship that can last a lifetime.
Link to article on Mind Body Green
Author: Daniel Dowling
#Daniel Dowling#mindbodygreen#article#relationship#love#breakup#heartbreak#moving on#strength#recovery#healing#self respect#personal development#quotes
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Part 62-b: Out of Depth
Thane walked to Smith’s ship, ducking under the temporary shelter rigged to its aft winglets to find a rather large workspace established beneath. Scattered between the anvils, microsoddering station, forge, and molecular printer assembly were a variety of different modular cyborg attachments. Laying in the corner, on a personalized cushion, sat Wolf.
“Hello Linda.” The robot-wolf-human hybrid spoke in a robotic tone, much like the now long-dead Stephan Hawking.
“Good morning, Wolf. How’s the pack today?”
He closed his eyes for a moment, connecting to the synchronized chips in all of his pack’s brains. “They’re well. 25 is bound to have a litter soon.”
“That’s good. I have a mission for them.”
“What would you ask?”
“There’s a large fire in the distance. Scouting out ahead before we make our way there would be a... benefit.” She smiled curtly.
Wolf closed his eyes again.
“It is done. The pack is away. We should have a holographic feed within the hour.”
Thane thanked the chimera, and set off towards its best friend, the giant cyborg named Smith. Smith overheard the conversation, scowled at her, lit a cigarette, and began unhooking various articles of heavy equipment from the exterior of the ship, preparing the site as if to return, knowing it would be a fools errand at best.
She walked past without a word, a sly smile crossing her face. She always did like being in charge.
———————————
The alien sat, strapped to a metal chair, feet resting in a plate of iced water, the cold prickling deep into its nerves, shooting pain into it’s bluish veins. It jerked every few seconds, but couldn’t bring itself to escape the frozen bath.
A human soldier sat across from the four-armed being, sucking on a cigar slowly. Staring at the creature that would refuse to meet eye contact.
“So. Before I kill you,” the soldier asked, “I have to know. Why?”
The rekkan sat for a moment surprised, then looked up.
“Why…what? And where did you learn this tongue?”
The soldier stood, and began pacing, deciding how to dissect the creature’s mind. How to shoot fear into its heart. How to learn what he wanted.
“I am a member to the United States Space Force Intelligence Division. That name may mean nothing to you, but our job is knowledge. We know more and with that we can… destroy more. And you, my four-armed friend, happen to be in my way.”
“Please… I don’t know what you want. You want humans? They’re in the mines. Take them. Just let me go.” The creature whimpered.
The soldier laughed, then put the cigar out on the Rekkans spine.
“People are... lights. Each one different in shape, color, scope, and intensity. And sometimes, the lights meet and start a fire. A pyrotechnic dazzle glows between them and futures begin. From these meetings more lights are born, made, coalesced into being from the passions between their forefathers.
And then sometimes, lights swallow other lights up, leaving them a shadow of their former selves. That’s the danger behind the meetings- if not fueled, if not tended to and care for, the passions will inevitably die out, as does the display. Certainly, an ember may remain, something that can be poked and prodded back into existence by strenuous effort or sheer universal coincidence, but that is still a rare occurrence. More common is it to try and fail, feigning emotion to keep a semblance of status quo.
So, the question remains: if you know that you’re going to be hit with a gauntlet for life, one where the same avatar of creation that may fuel you instead depletes and decimates, why even try?
When you learn what colors feel like... when you finally find that a person’s smile alone becomes a passion by which to carry on day by day, you will have found your purpose.
So... tell me? You, who kidnapped, tortured, murdered, and experimented on our people, the ones we love and care about, the ones we would set whole cities ablaze simply to watch the flames dance in their eyes- you ask us to spare your life? To spare your dignity? No.
Your gods have forsaken you, for we will make you worship the pain. Pray not to them for salvation, but rather to us to let you die.”
The soldier then walked out of the tent, flipping a switch as he exited. The screams of the Rekkan being electrocuted to death sent a flock of birds shooting into a purple sky.And then in the distance, a wolf howled.
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The Pentecost Sequence calls the Spirit ‘dulcis hospes’, a ‘delightful guest’. The description tallies with what Jesus says: ‘I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth’ (John 16.12–13). The Spirit, calling gradually to mind, makes truth bearable. He guides us step by step, as we are able to follow. Thanks to his indwelling, the Gospel’s narrow path turns into an itinerary rich in delights.
It goes without saying that ‘all the truth’ exceeds what any individual can apprehend. My capacity for truth, however blessed it may be by nature, however extendable by grace, is inadequate to fathom truth in its fullness. My remembrance, too, is limited. Even the memory of God, maintained in solitude, can disappoint. Anyone who prays the Psalms will have been struck by this honest admission: ‘I remembered my God and I groaned’ (Psalm 76.4). To be consoling and complete, remembrance in truth has to be shared. The Spirit performs his consoling, illuminating work ecclesially. His operation is all of a piece: he consoles by creating concord; he leads us towards truth by drawing us out of our cloistered selves into a shared remembrance that sweetens even bitter memories with gratitude. He enables a gradual passage from what is piecemeal towards what is whole. This process, amazingly, embraces the future as well as the past: ‘[The Spirit of truth] will declare to you the things that are to come’, says Jesus, before he goes on: ‘He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you’ (John 16.13–14).
The Shattering of Loneliness
Dom Erik Varden OCSO
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Hope - Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu x Reader
Summary: You try to recover the Ultimate Yakuza from despair, but things don’t go as planned when you begin to develop feelings for each other.
It had been a while since Makoto Naegi had recruited you. You had become close friends after surviving the Killing Game of Hope’s Peak Academy together, along with Aoi Asahina, Kyoko Kirigiri, Toko Fukawa, and Byakuya Togami. Makoto had a plan to save the Remnants of Despair using the Neo-World Program, and he needed your help to develop the technology. You worked alongside him and Alter Ego in order to create the program, and during the development, Makoto asked you to have sessions with the Remnants in order to learn more about the psychological trauma that Junko Enoshima and Mukoro Ikasaba had inflicted upon them. So, against Future Foundation orders, you had been secretly meeting with the Remnants in an undisclosed location unknown to your boss, Chairman Tengan.
Your primary subject was none other than Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu.
Initially, you seemed to make no progress with him. He would open up a little, only to go right back into despair. During your first session, he merely grinned while you asked him about Junko and the despair he helped her spread.
“Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu… the Ultimate Yakuza, and former student of Hope’s Peak Academy,” you stated, reading his file. You sat across from him, a table between the two of you. He was handcuffed to his chair, as a precautionary measure.
“Damn right,” he replied, despair swirling in his one eye, the other being covered up by his eyepatch.
“You, along with the other despairs, have killed so many… do you feel regret?” You asked, carefully. You leaned forward in your chair, eager to hear his response.
“Regret?” He asked back, before laughing. “Hahahaha, why would I regret killing any of those bastards? Death is natural for the weak, it’s survival of the fucking fittest!”
“Was Natsumi weak?” You asked, with a cold tone. Suddenly, you watched a thousand emotions flash through his eye. Shock came first; his eye widened at the mention of his beloved sister.
“Natsumi…” he muttered quietly, as though it was the first time in a long time that he’d thought of her. A sadness took over his expression, and for a moment you thought there might be tears welling up in his eye, but just as quickly as it had come, the sadness dissipated and was quickly replaced by despair.
“My sister….my little sister…. Natsumi…” he continued muttering, “her death…. brought me so much despair! So much glorious despair! Hahaha!”
He was gone again, his mind consumed by despair once more. It didn’t matter, you had seen it. For even just a moment, you had seen genuine emotion in him, and you knew then that there was hope for not only him, but for all the Remnants. You wondered if you could get him to show emotion again…
“Despair?” You asked. “Is that why you killed Sato? Because you wanted to feel despair? Or, maybe you wanted to make Mahiru feel despair?”
At the mention of Sato’s name, you watched as pure rage flashed across his face.
“That fucking bitch...Sato!” he exclaimed. “Despair had nothin’ to fuckin’ do with it...I had to kill her, for Natsumi…”
You watched his rage bleed into sadness as he continued. “Natsumi… she came to Hope’s Peak for me… she wanted to be the Ultimate Little Sister… she should have been the Ultimate Yakuza, and everyone knew it. She would have been a better heir to the Kuzuryuu clan, but…”
He trailed off then, as if the rest were too painful to remember. You reached across the table, and placed your hand on his.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Fuyuhiko.”
He said nothing then, just stared blankly in front of them. Despair and hope were waging a war within his mind, and it was all you could do to pray for hope.
Over the past few weeks, you felt as though you had made significant progress bringing Fuyuhiko back to the side of hope. You began to think that the Neo-World might not even be necessary; perhaps you could bring the Remnants back to their former selves without erasing their memories of despair.
What you did not know was that Fuyuhiko had a plan of his own: to convert you to the side of despair.
With each session, he felt himself growing closer to you. He wanted you to feel the chaos of despair, just as he did.
You would never admit it, but you felt yourself growing closer to him as well. You hated yourself for it: it was unprofessional, it was wrong, Naegi was counting on you, how could you let yourself get distracted?
You recalled your last session with him; you’ve been encouraging to recall his memories of being a student of Hope’s Peak.
“Kazuichi was obsessed with Sonia,” said Fuyuhiko. “Still is, I guess. The bastard was always fuckin’ following her around. ‘Suppose she liked Gundham better though.”
Ah, Gundham. You had met with him a few times, but he would always start shouting about “unleashing pandemonium” on you, so your sessions with him were few and far between.
“But that Teruteru bastard was even worse than Kazuichi,” he continued. “That pervert would fuck anything with a pulse!”
You laughed then, and Fuyuhiko began to laugh too. Sitting across from you, with his hands bound to the chair, he had nothing to do other than stare at you and admire you. It dawned on him that he loved the sound of your laughter, it brought him hope. But before long, despair settled in again, and he felt a strong desire to hurt you: he loved the sound of your laugh, and so he longed for the despair he would feel at the sound of your screams. He could imagine himself standing over you, with a revolver in his hand, listening to you beg and cry for your life. The despair it brought him to imagine you in pain was absolutely glorious.
Meanwhile, you considered how different the Remnants were now, compared to Fuyuhiko’s classroom stories. You had to ask about it once more.
“Fuyuhiko, I just don’t understand. It seems like after Yukizome became your teacher, all of you were filled with hope… it just doesn’t make sense, how you’ve all ended up like...this… Please, tell me, what did Junko do to you all?”
He ignored your question almost entirely, simply grinning before repeating your words back to you. “After Yukizome became our teacher, heh...Chisa Yukizome…Hahahaha!”
You didn’t understand. What was so funny, you wondered. It was impossible for you to know that Chisa Yukizome herself, your esteemed colleague, was also a Remnant of Despair, and had participated in turning the students into Remnants.
“Please, Fuyu,” you begged softly. “I want to help you, I want to fill you with hope. Tell me what filled you with despair, so I can reverse it…”
“I can’t tell you… but I’ll show you,” Fuyuhiko said slyly. You didn’t have time to consider what he meant, because in a flash he rose from the chair, bounds undone. You hadn’t noticed him freeing himself, he must have distracted you with his stories in order to free himself without raising suspicion. He brandished a sharp object in his hand, and you wondered if he had crafted a makeshift knife out of a utensil given to him earlier.
“Fuyu…?” You asked, terrified. In seconds, he had thrown the knife across the room and directly into your chest. It cut deep, and the pain of the wound and the betrayal burned deep. Blood began to pour from your chest, painting your crisp white shirt a bright magenta pink.
He rushed to your side, and you could see genuine pain in his expression, despite the despair that swirled in his eyes.
“Watching you die… will bring me so much...despair!” He murmured, as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled your dying body closer to him. “Seeing you in pain… pain that I inflicted… makes me feel so hopeless…!”
“F-fuyu… please,” you gasped, before coughing up blood. It was pointless; your words could no longer reach him. Any pleading only pushed him further into despair. The hopelessness of the situation filled you both with despair.
Suddenly, the door swung open, and there you saw Makoto, Toko, and Kyoko.
“Y/N?!” Makoto exclaimed, shocked at your injuries. At the sight of your blood, Toko fainted immediately, and then awoke as Genocide Jill. Using her detective skills, Kyoko quickly connected the dots between Fuyuhiko being free from his bounds and your injury.
“Genocide Jill!” Kyoko called out. “Apprehend the Remnant.”
Using her scissors, it was easy for her to pin the yakuza to the wall, although Kyoko did have to restrain her from killing him, as Genocide Jill was eager to kill the “adorable little man.”
Makoto had already rushed over to you, picking you up and carrying you out of the room.
“Don’t worry Y/N, you’re going to be okay! I’ll get you help, okay? Just stay with me,” Makoto said, trying to keep you calm. “I’m glad I came when I did.”
“Perfect… timing,” you mumbled, barely audible. “You...really are… the Ultimate...Lucky Student.”
Makoto chuckled, still carrying you out of the room. Over his shoulder, you could still see Fuyuhiko, who Kyoko was interrogating. Maybe you were delirious from the blood loss, but he almost seemed relieved that you were being saved; it was as though he were hopeful you would survive.
LATER
The Neo World Program was successfully completed. Despite it being hijacked by Izuru Kamakura, a few of the Remnants were able to survive the Killing School Trip, and now it was time for you, Makoto Naegi, Kyoko Kirigiri, and Byakuya Togami to enter the simulation for yourselves, in order to prevent Alter Ego Junko Enoshima from spreading despair to the entire world.
It had been a while since you had seen Fuyuhiko, and although you had physically recovered from your injury, you hadn’t recovered from his betrayal. He had tricked you, manipulated you, and then tried to kill you. Of course, he had been under the influence of Junko’s despair, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t still care for him. You wanted to save him, you wanted hope to win the battle against despair within his mind
When you entered the simulation and appeared at the class trial ground, you were incredibly shocked to see the version of Fuyuhiko that stood before you. He was filled with both hope, and despair. His heart was full of hope, full of love for his sister Natsumi and best friend Peko and classmate Chiaki, but also full of despair, from the grief of losing them.
Initially, he was willing to side with despair, to let Junko take over, if it meant he would get to see his best friend, Peko. You couldn’t let that happen, you couldn’t allow despair to consume him again.
“Fuyuhiko, please!” You begged, causing him to focus on you; he remembered you slightly, you had been in the 78th class of Hope’s Peak Academy while he had been in the 77th. “I...I know you don’t remember me, but I remember you. And I’ve seen hope in you, Fuyu. Please, don’t fall into despair. Choose hope. For Chiaki. For Peko. For Natsumi. Please, choose hope for me.”
He could not remember you, but upon seeing you plead for his hope, he felt something. A connection. A sense of deja vu. He knew that, in the real world, you must have been something to him, something important.
“Y/N…” he muttered, allowing your name to flood his mind. Hearing your name escape his lips, it filled him with hope. “I… I choose hope! Let’s end this fuckin’ killing game!”
And so, Hajime, who had remembered his other identity of Izuru, ended the killing game, and the surviving Remnants woke up, cured of their despair.
It pained you to see the others, who had remained comatose. You had faith in Hajime, who declared that he would use the talents he had gained from becoming Izuru in order to save the other Remnants.
After the simulation ended, you reunited with Fuyuhiko.
“Y/N… you saved me. You gave me hope, when I was filled with so much fuckin’ despair,” he said. “Even though I hurt you… you still believed in me… but I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Not after what I…”
He looked at you, wincing when he noticed your visible scar from his attack.
“Fuyuhiko, please, there’s nothing to forgive you for. It wasn’t your fault, it was Junko’s.”
“Junko,” he said through gritted teeth. “That fuckin’ bitch. If she wasn’t already dead, I would fuckin’ kill her. Because of her despair, I… I wanted to hurt you… so that I could feel the despair of seeing someone I.. someone I love… in pain.”
A blush came across his face as he finished, and for a moment, you couldn’t believe what you heard.
“S-someone… you love..?” You asked.
“Don’t fuckin make me say it again, Y/N…!” He was visibly embarrassed, refusing to make eye contact. You were sure this was the happiest day of your life, Fuyuhiko had been cured of despair, and confessed his love for you. You were absolutely speechless, so he spoke again.
“Should’ve done this a long fuckin’ time ago,” he said, before his hand on your waist and pulling you into a passionate kiss.
#fuyuhiko kuzuryuu#fuyuhiko kuzuryu kin#fuyuhiko kuzuryu x reader#fuyuhiko x reader#ultimate yakuza#danganronpa#super danganronpa two#danganronpa 2#makoto naegi#junko enoshima#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura
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Not As It Seems
Overhaul x F!Reader (xChrono??)
Warnings: Hella angst, small hint of fluff if you squint, bro code broken
A/N: I want to thank @zuffer-weird-girl for letting me write this! I All credit goes to her and her Chibi AU! I love angst and this was too good to pass up this opportunity. If you want to learn more about Her chibi au go check her out she has some really amazing au’s so if your done with this go check her out!
~~~
They’re all 11
“Oh hey Kai, what are you doing?” Hari asked his friend who seemed to be lost in his own world.
“KAI!”
“Jesus! What do you want?” Kai said, finally snapping out of his daydream.
“Who were you thinking about?” Hari said, giving Kai a smug look.
“That’s none of your business now is it?” Kai growled at his friend who only laughed.
“You're thinking about (y/n) aren’t you!” Hari howled as he held his stomach trying to control his laughter.
“Lies! I am not!” Kai tried to argue but his face showed it all. His cheeks and ears were bright red.
“Sure you're not. Hey is that (y/n) over there?”
“WHERE?!” Kai turned his head quickly only to be disappointed when you weren’t there.
“YOU DO LIKE HER!” Hari put his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.
“Fine, maybe I do feel a sort of attraction to her. Is that so wrong?” Kai huffed looking at his friend who had calmed down.
“No nothing’s wrong at all, i just like to tease you because i find it hilarious.”
“Wow, such an amazing friend i have here.” Kai rolled his eyes as Hari caught his breath.
“Hi guys!” Kai yelped as the sound of your voice startled him causing Hari to burst into laughter again. Tears rolling out the corners of his eyes.
“H-hey (y/n)! How long have you been there…” Kai shivered at the thought of you hearing his inner thoughts.
“Oh i just got here! Is Hari okay?” Kai turned to Hari seeming him breathing heavily on the ground.
“Yes he’s fine.” Kai pouted. What was so special about him? Why didn’t you care about him-
“Kai? Why is your face red?” YOu put your hand on his head thinking he had a fever.
“I- uh..”
“Your head is so hot! Are you sure you don't have a fever?” Your face showing worry. You were worried about him. Not Hari…
Him
~~~
They’re 16
“Chibi’s?”
“Yep! Chibi’s are the things that tell you who your soulmate is! But they cannot tell you your soulmate's name, that's against their rules.” The teacher answered. Kai and Hari sat at their desks and listened to the teacher tell them about what kind of future in romance they have.
“How does it work? Like is it someone random or is it someone the person knows?” Hari raised his hand out of curiosity. Kai was also curious. WHat if he got your chibi? You guys would be soulmates!
“50/50.” The teacher shrugged his shoulders as he answered the next person’s question.
“You know what that means hmm?” Hari moved his eyebrows up and down at Kai.
“Stop, you look like an idiot.”
“Rude much?” Hari only laughed as he looked at his friend who seemed to be lost in his own world again.
“So you think your soulmate will be (y/n)?” Hari said to Kai, making him snap his head in Hari’s direction.
“Shut up dammit.” Kai mumbled as he turned his head away from the snickering male to hide his red cheeks.
*after class*
“Hey guys! Did you hear about chibi’s?!” You asked excitedly as you sat next to them on the bench in the gym.
“Yeah-”
“Man they were so weird!” Hari interrupted Kai as he laughed with you. Hari was really starting to get on his nerves.
“They said it could be someone you know or someone you dont know! 50/50 pretty much.” Hari laughed as he nudged Kai. Trying to give him the ‘I'm setting you up to talk to her look’
“Really? Cool! What do you think about it Kai?” You said as your eyes gleaned up at him. HIs heart fluttered knowing that you asked him, not Hari.
“Interesting honestly.”
“Do you have anyone you want it to be?” You said nudging his shoulder as Hari chuckled at Kai. Kai got tense was at a lost for words the only thing that came out of his mouth was-
“Yes.”
“REALLY! TELL ME WHO IT IS!” You squealed happy for your friend.
“No, do you have someone?” Kai quickly turned the spotlight away from him and onto you.
“Yep!” You said without a care in the world. How could you be so calm?
“Can you tell me-”
“No! You didn’t tell me so now i won’t tell you!”
“I say that’s fair don’t you Kai?” Hari snickered as he saw his friend giving him the most intense glare.
Kai mumbled under his breath before turning to you. Seeing your happy face ranting about how cool it is and how you were so excited for your chibi was all worth the mystery.
~~~
They’re all 20
“Why are you so down (y/n)?” Kai asked you as he saw you cover your face in a pillow while laying on the couch.
“Is it so much to ask to just want my goddamn chibi?!” You growled, your face not leaving the pillow.
“Patience is key.” Oh who was he kidding! He wanted his too. Neither him, Hari or you got your yet and it was starting to piss him off. You two were obviously made for each other so why was it taking so long?
Hurried tip toes try to sneak past Kai only causing him to turn his head where he saw Hari sneaking past him.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“SHIT! Don’t scare me like that man.” Hari yelled at him as he nervously laughed looking away from Kai.
“Are you hiding something from me?” Kai's voice lowered an octave making him seem more menacing.
“Kai calm down, let the man be.” You said lifting your head up from the pillow causing Kai to sigh.
“FIne, do whatever you were going to do.” Kai told Hari, sighing in the process. Why did he have to have such a weak-spot for you?
“Oh cool, I’ll be back in an hour or two.” Hari said as he zoomed past Kai and out the door. He should keep a closer eye on him. He’s getting a little suspicious.
“Kai don’t you want your chibi to come soon?” You looked up at him with sad eyes.
“I don’t know really.” Kai lied through his teeth. Of course he does. He just wants more proof that you two were meant to be together.
“Well i can’t wait. I really want mine soon.” You sighed as you put your head back into the pillow.
“Like I said, patience is key.” He’s such a hypocrite.
*two weeks later*
Why were you so sad every time you saw him? Did he do something wrong? Not to mention Hari has been acting up too. You both weren’t your normal selves and it was starting to piss Kai off.
“Mimic, can you tell me why both Hari and (Y/N) are acting so strange around me?” Kai asked.
“Shit if i know.”
“Thanks for the help.” Kai grumbled as he tapped his fingers on his desk in frustration. Sooner or later he was gonna confront both of you but he had to think of a plan first.
“Mimic get me a copy of (Y/N) work schedule.”
“On it boss man!”
~~~
*1 month later*
He finally had the perfect timing! A whole month was prepared for this moment. He was gonna confront you and Hari about your suspicious behavior.
As he walked closer to your room a weird sound came from your door. He quietly tip-toed to your door and pushed his ear against the wood.
His eyes blow wide at the sound of you kissing someone in your room! Who in their right mind dare touch his angel?! You were his and you had been from the moment he saw you!
‘squeak!’
Once again another noise that made his vision go red with rage. You even had your chibi?! And you never told him?! How long have you had it?!
“Hari~”
Shattered. Thats the best way to describe it. The sound of your voice calling out a name that wasn’t his. He wasn’t your soulmate,
His best friend was…
His whole world felt like it was shattering in front of him. For so long he kept his feelings bottled up inside waiting for the right time to confess. But now he would never get that chance.
His hands started shaking and even though he could help it but kick down your door. And the sight broke his heart further.
You both had your chibi’s. You were meant to be Hari’s, not his, Not now, not ever.
You both looked at Kai with shock and then sadness. Your eyes held guilt. There was nothing you could do even if you wanted to. You were destined to be with Hari. Not Kai.
Hari wasn’t much different. His face held shame and remorse. His best friend of year found out that you were his soulmate. He was hoping that Kai would have found his soulmate before Hari told him that you were his.
The room was dead silent. So quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Both yours and Hari’s chibis looked up at Kai, sadness in their eyes as well.
“How long.”
“Kai I-”
“I SAID HOW FUCKING LONG HARI!”
“....I got my chibi first, the day you caught me sneaking behind you was the day I found out. (Y/N) found hers 2 days afterwards. Kai...I’m sorry-”
“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND! I TRUSTED YOU!”
“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?!”
Silence plagued the room once more as the tension between Hari and Kai was so intense you could cut it like a knife.
“You were the only person I could trust…”
“What do you want me to do then Kai?” Kai couldn’t see it but Hari held on to your arm tight. He will never admit to him that all those years he too liked you but was willing to give you up just for Kai.
“Why didn’t you tell me (Y/N)?”
“ I didn’t want to hurt you…” You said as you refused to look at him.
“Well look where that got you.” Kai said venom in his words. You couldn’t even look him in the eye you were so overwhelmed with guilt. Tears started to flood down your face as you held Hari’s arms tighter.
“You knew I loved her.”
“You think i can change what’s been done Kai?! I can’t for your information and I’m sorry! Kai, you're my best friend for christ sake! I can’t choose which soulmate I get even if I wanted to!” Tears fell down Hari’s face as well. He never wanted this to happen. He only prayed that he would never find out.
“I want both of you to leave now.” You and Hari’s eyes were blown wide as you looked at Kai who shot you both the most terrifying glare you have ever seen.
“I won’t tell you again.” Hari knew what Kai would do if they didn’t hurry. HE snatched both your chibi’s and put them in his pocket before grabbing your hand and whisking you away from the room.
And from Kai.
~~~
Years later
“Hari...I think you could come see this…” Your voice was in shock as you looked at the tv.
“What is it-” Hari’s voice stopped once he saw what was on the Tv as well.
On the tv was a live broadcast of where you all used to live together. In the Shie Hassakai compound.
“It’s completely destroyed…” You hold your hand to your mouth as tears stream down your face.
“How did this happen.” Hari sat next to you as you watched the TV. Both your chibi’s snuggled up next together as they shaked watching the tv with you both.
Both of your eyes went wide once you saw what Kai had been doing all those years you guys were away. Kai started testing on a little girl who was supposed to have enough power to erase people's quirks.
You both watched in horror as the man you both once knew became something you’d now fear.
Seriously though go check @zuffer-weird-girl out, Do it or I’ll break your kneecaps UvU
#overhaul angst#chisaki overhaul#overhaul x reader#mha overhaul#overhaul#kai chisaki x reader#shie hassaikai#kai chisaki#mha#mha angst#bnha angst#chronostasis#kurono hari x reader#kurono hari#hari kurono#hari kurono x reader
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Anonymous said: 💞 💞 💞
Send a 💞 and my Muse will say something about one of their romantic interests.
“I should encompass everything he despises. If what I’ve seen on television and in the papers is accurate, it’s the wealthy and powerful, and corrupt, he and his vigilante cohorts are after. To alter them, to change them. To take their greed and authority away and reduce them to husks of their former selves. If the interviews are to be believed.”
“And yet...”
“And yet he smiles at me. He holds me. He encourages methods to keep me by his side with the façade of tutelage and yet when I place the stopwatch down, there’s little to no time passed until my hands and lips are full of him and his with mine and nothing else seems to matter. Not my responsibilities to my country, or his to himself and family and friends. Just the feeling of warmth that bubbles up from my toes to the top of my head and I lean into him. He’s exhausted and so am I, but still he’s strong enough. To hold me. To support me. To care for me.”
“Though I’m quite certain on several occasions I’ve caught him looking at my posterior for far too long.”
“Sometimes, I think she simply doesn’t want to be happy. Even when the opportunity arises: a moment alone, away from projects and duties and our families that, if they had their way, would likely wish to separate us. When all I could wish for would be to see her genuine smile and pray that, perhaps, I might have been the reason for it. The reason to have brought her joy and light in a life I think may be filled with a persistent darkness. And not the good kind.”
“I want her to find happiness in her vocation, her accomplishments, in her family and friends and those who love her. To create something because she wants to, not because her stepmother orders her to. To cook a meal because she craves it and wishes it, not because someone else has demanded it. To stand still just for a moment, with no one to please, and listen. Truly listen and understand there are people who love her, because of who she is and she will be enough. She will always be enough, at least for me, and no one could ever take her place. She’s seen me cry and I’ve seen her: we’ve laughed and drank and apologized for our mistakes. And in the few instances she’s allowed me, I’ve held her against me and stroked her hair and placed kisses over the freckles she seems so keen to hide. And told her that it would be okay. That I would make sure no one would ever mistreat her again.”
“I cannot promise our life will be easy. There are those in my country who say such a choice would shun over a millennium of tradition in the Royal Family: that what I want, who I want, isn’t appropriate. It’s wrong. It’s unnatural. It’ll ensure doom, or at least trouble, for Novoselic and that I’ll be labeled just as difficult as the last reigning Queen before me. The Queen who nearly allowed Novoselic to fall to invasion under her rule.”
“But I can’t see a gloomy future. Not if she’s by my side: I love her, and it will be my life’s greatest joy to bring the happiest of futures to my country and most importantly, to her.”
“I should regret it. There’s every reason to: we can’t be that well-suited. And I can’t imagine someone my family would despise more: past his eyes and his smile, there would only be cause for complaint. I detest a negative outlook, but I can hear it now. Unrefined. Irresponsible. The world is a complete and utter joke to him. And that’s before they realize who helped orchestrate my disappearance, resulting in the recent panic that, somehow, hasn’t broken to the international news.”
“And despite it all, I don’t.”
“I don’t regret kissing him, a decision I thought I made in mere seconds but in reality, I’ve been deciding on that all along. Little by little, adventure by adventure. From hot chocolate that hardly deserves to bear the name to disgruntled resignation that I refused to let him go without helping him. It’s nonsensical, that’s what my mind tells me.”
“When it’s not replaying that kiss over and over, anyway. How for a moment I could’ve sworn my heart stopped. That I’d forgotten where I was or even my own name. There was just...electricity, relief, passion that if I were to be honest, I always knew was there and a feeling of contentment, belonging, that came as a complete surprise. It was the first kiss in so long that simply felt right and the way he smiled, genuine and happy, made my mad gamble entirely worth it.”
“And now I cannot bring it up. It was a distraction, a diversion, and it has to stay that way. Because from the way he teases, I’m sure he never wants to try it again. To see if, without the need to distract and hide, it’s just as exciting and fulfilling as the first.”
#more-than-a-princess answered#(Romantic Interests meme)#(Unless a muse is requested directly I won't tag the blogs these apply to)#(Even if they're pretty obvious it's fun to guess!)#tw homophobia#homophobia tw
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Friday Night Funkin Original Story (Corrupta Nigrum) [Part 2: Crimson Metal]
Part 2: Crimson Metal
Another beautiful day shined upon the Holy Granda Church as Sarv sat within the greenhouse towards the back of the building, holding a plate of handmade cookies, some having strawberry frosting with a crudely made heart with a cross in the middle while others had gray frosting with an attempt to draw her friend Ruv, the nun trying to bring one of the pink cookies to the man’s mouth, only for Ruv to turn his head.
“Ruuuuv, just try them!” Sarv tried to bring the cookie closer to her friend’s face, only for Ruv to simply grunt in response.
“Sarv, you know how much I hate those kinds of foods,” the man stood up.
“Aww, but you haven’t even tried to eat one yet!” Sarv whined as Ruv stood up from his chair, Sarv following, “And where do you think you’re going?”
“Somewhere where I don’t have to be forced to eat disgusting sweets!” Ruv began walking away before Sarv held her cookie tighter going after the man.
“Oh no you don’t!” Sarv tried to shove one of the cookies into Ruv’s mouth, only for the man to slap it away, “H-Hey, I spent all last night making these! Pick it up right now, young man!”
“S-Sorry, but you asked for it!” Ruv explained, going down to get the cookie before realizing what was going on, looking up to see Sarv poised and ready to shove another cookie in his mouth, this one being the one representing his face, “Oh you little-”
“Come here!” Sarv exclaimed, running after the man who dodged every instance of her trying to shove the frosted dessert in his mouth.
“No, never!” Ruv widened his eyes a small bit, his eyebrows following the same pattern, a clear indication that he was either surprised or trying to smile despite not being able to do so.
“Say ahhh!” Sarv instructed, running after the man with her mouth open.
“AHHH!” Ruv screamed as the greenhouse shook with the man’s voice, the window panes that surrounded them beginning to crack as Sarv fell onto the ground, her plate breaking from the impact, a large array of her cookies littering the ground, as Sarv looked up, dizzy from the impact, but more so saddened by the remnant of all her work.
“Nooo, my cookies!” Sarv pretended to cry dramatically, Ruv rolling his eyes as he stood tall above her, “Ruv you brute, how could you?”
“Ugh, fine!” Ruv scoffed, grabbing one of the only whole cookies from the ground, this being the gray one with his face, before shoving it into his mouth before momentarily wincing at the strong flavor and swallowing it with a bit too much effort for eating such a simple food.
Sarv gasped with joy before picking up the rest of the broken cookies and bringing them to another plate she had left on one of the counters that held her tending tools for the greenhouse’s plants, waiting for her friend’s rather overdramatic attempt at trying to digest her gift to him.
“Sooo, how is it?” she gathered her broom and dustpan, sweeping the pieces of the plate into it turning to Ruv with an expectant smile.
“Sweet…..too sweet,” Ruv commented before coughing, a piece of the plate coming out of his mouth, “Oh, and this tastes horrible too by the way.”
“Ruv!” Sarv picked up the piece before placing it in the dustpan, emptying it in the trashcan nearby, “I swear, you can be such a child sometimes.”
“At least I’m not trying to force people to eat poison!” Ruv remarked.
“It’s not poison and you know it!” Sarv placed her hands on her hips as Ruv simply gave another grunt.
“It wasn’t…..completely awful,” Ruv responded as Sarv’s eyes sparkled from the compliment, hugging her friend tightly.
“Aw, you mean it?”
“Yeah, it was a lot better than your last ten tries this week,” Ruv shrugged.
“Gee, thanks very much,” Sarv said sarcastically, rolling her eyes before laughing, Ruv only capable of one or two chuckles as the duo stood underneath the sunlight beaming through the windows of their collection of fauna.
Suddenly however, a small sobbing began coming from the door that stopped both friends from their little happy moment, Sarv slowly pulling away from her and Ruv’s embrace before walking towards the door that led to the main mass hall where nobody really arrived to nowadays, prayer being of little importance to a world that ran on melody, though Sarv believed otherwise.
“It’s that man again, isn’t it?” Ruv asked, following Sarv who peered through the crack of the door, observing an old man with a disheveled gray beard and long white hair at one of the church’s benches, kneeling down with his hands together in prayer as his eyes were closed, tears escaping from them as he continued to pray.
“Bless those who mourn, eternal God, with the…..*sniff*.....comfort of your love that I may face each new day…*sniff*...with hope and the certainty that nothing can destroy the good that has been given. May my and…*sniff*…..mine loved ones memories become joyful, their days enriched with friendship, and our lives encircled by your love, amen” the old man had said, sobs and sniffs in between his prayer as he let out a shaky breath before continuing to cry, his cane at his side.
Sarv looked on, a pained expression filling her face as she looked on, a pained guilt inside her chest that she couldn’t help everyone who was suffering in the world at the moment, the musical harmony that is shown through the flashy billboards and tv commercials only hiding the suffering that individuals like this man were feeling, and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.
Heh, “God’s Plan” as they called it.
“Yes….” Sarv finally responded to Ruv’s question as she gave a deep sigh of her melancholy heart.
“What’s his name?” Ruv asked as Sarv looked up at the man who stared at the praying elder, Ruv having never shown any interest in the lives of those outside of herself, though the nun simply smiled sadly with that fact.
“Joseph Gerrack,” Sarv answered before her smile shifted into a frown.
“Lost loved one I’m guessing?” Ruv closed his eyes for a moment, not needing to see Sarv’s slow nod to know he was right.
“His wife, Isabelle Gerrack, recently passed away at eighty just the other day, and Joseph, having been extremely close to her, used every cent he had left in his account to give her the medical and affectionate attention she needed and deserves but…..but it turned out to not be enough I’m afraid,” Sarv’s grip on the door’s side tightening for a moment, tears escaping her eyes for a second before the nun wiped them away, “Ruv, is it selfish of us to live passed all of them when they have to go through so much suffering and death, only to go to someplace better?”
“Are you saying life isn’t worth living if you go to a better place?” Ruv brought his voice lower than they had been speaking, but his words were always louder than necessary, so the nun could hear him clearly.
“Of course not, but I feel like it makes us look like we are living our lives free of worries while everyone has to go through the pain of losing their loved ones in the process of trying to be their best selves,” Sarv looked back at Joseph who had grabbed something from the coat of his jacket, this being a rosary that he gripped in his hand before continuing his prayer.
“Or maybe we lose ourselves,” Ruv’s hardened expression made it hard to make it apparent that he too had a saddened look on his face, “But we are lucky that we are immortal.”
“How so?” Sarv looked up at the man with surprise.
“We have more time to reflect on ourselves, find longer and better ways to help those who need it…...well, at least you do,” Ruv held Sarv’s hand as she simply smiled back with some semblance of understanding in her breaths.
“Ruv, you know I believe you can do it, after everything that you’ve done to try redemption, to try and be a far better person than you have been,” Sarv squeezed the man’s help with a determined look, “You are not your actions. Don’t let your past define who you currently are.”
“Right,” Ruv looked down at the nun’s hands.
“Ruv, if you wouldn’t mind me asking, since you don’t really talk too much about other people around you and all, have you ever seen someone lose a loved one?” Sarv asked as Ruv’s eyes widened for a moment, the man placing both hands in his pockets in contemplation.
“Dozens of times actually,” Ruv sighed, “When I did some horrible things back in Tomsk, I was leaving the country, but before I reached the city walls, I encountered a cemetery with a few of the family members who belonged to those that I…..killed.
I heard them saying a prayer in their language, praying that ‘Благословенный Бог нашей земли обетованной, чтобы наша жизнь была наполнена светом и обетованием, и чтобы единство и слава, которые ждет всех нас в будущем, сбудутся, аминь.’ (Blessed God of our promised land, so that our lives will be filled with light and promise, and that the unity and glory that awaits all of us in the future will come true, amen).
At that moment I just felt like giving up, that nothing was worth continuing if I would only cause pain and suffering to those that I came near, but I stayed around for a little longer, moving into the next town over as I stayed within the alleys of the city, the motel having my posters up too, until a babushka came outside her home and say me, taking me inside her home.
As much as I didn’t trust her, she was nice to me, and when I asked her why she didn’t just call the police, she said something to me.
‘If you hit a dog with a shoe so that he stops eating all of your vareniki, it will live all of its life afraid to eat a single type of food, but if you teach it that there are other foods to eat, things that won’t get him in trouble, then it learns his lesson, and its trust on you as not an owner but a friend grows.’
I didn’t really know what she was talking about, but spending a while with her allowed me to self reflect on who I was as a person and although it only lasted a little bit, it helped me continue going forward with something in my chest, though I don’t know if it was hope or a desperate call for salvation that led me to this city…...to you.”
“Ruv…” Sarv gave a smile, the nun beginning to tear up once more before the man gesture that Joseph was leaving, Sarv quickly realizing this as she exited the greenhouse into the mass hall, “O-Oh, Mr. Gerrack, have a good day and may your soul rest in peace knowing that things will get better!”
“I trust the lord to promise me that, dear,” Joseph smiled and waved goodbye before using his cane to exit the building, dismissing Sarv’s consistent attempts to help walk him home.
“Another day, another empty church,” Sarv sighed, crossing her arms as she began to turn around, Ruv returning back inside the greenhouse.
“Excuse me!” the nun suddenly heard a voice come from the front of the church’s doors which opened slowly, a man peeking his head inside, quickly lowering his voice, “I-I’m not interrupting a mass, am I?”
“O-Oh!” Sarv gasp, this being one of the first times anybody had come to visit the church, “Not at all, please come in!”
“Thank goodness!” the man walked in, being nearly as tall as Sarv was, having short and black curly hair, thin glasses, a cinnamon suit that seemed to somewhat resemble her own, and an overhanging black cloak, “I didn’t wish to be rude since masses are quite sacred events held in these buildings, although it only seems as if one individual was here at the moment, so I take it today isn’t an average day?”
“If only,” Sarv gave a small laugh, “Unfortunately, it seems as if this is a regular occurrence for us.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s quite alright!” Sarv waves her hands, dismissing the man’s worries, “We’re quite used to it.”
“I see, well, that’s good news at least,” the man gave a warm smile, looking around the church in admiration for its ancient yet welcoming infrastructure, “So I take it you’re Sarvente?”
“You’ve seen the poster!” Sarv clapped her hands together happily, “I thought most of them were removed from the bulletin board at the center of town, so I had thought no one would arrive, though here you are.”
“Well then, I’m glad I could make your day,” the man grinned, extending his hand out, “Geovanni Gouge, at your service.”
“Sarvente-er-you already know that, don’t you?” Sarv shook the man’s head with a sheepish smile, “Oh, have you come to join the church?”
“Oh, um, hehe,” Geovanni scratched the back of his head, “Actually, I came here to look for you.”
“For me?” Sarv tiled her head, “Well, whatever for?”
“Have you ever heard of Boyfriend and Luc-er-Girlfriend?” Geovanni asked the nun who contemplated the question, her memories fluttering back to a few weeks ago before it snapped into place.
“Oh, the ungrateful children,” Sarv said in an irritating tone, “Yes, unfortunately we’ve had the pleasure of crossing paths, why do you ask?”
“Do you remember having a rap battle with them?” Geovanni continued as Sarv began nodding slowly before stopping.
“Wait, how do you know this?” Sarv questioned, unaware that she and the children had had an audience during that evening.
“Oh, yes, this is always the hardest part to explain,” the man scratched the back of his head with a nervous smile, “Well, to best describe it, I was simply observing the events surrounding Boyfriend and Girlfriend’s “adventures” and “encounters” with those opposing their average life, though the direct orders of Daddy Dearest.”
“Daddy Dearest?” Sarv repeated the name, contemplating it for a moment before a glare formed on her face as she clenched her gloves hands together in anger, “That demon!”
“Yes, well, through my own person peering spell that allows me to view events through the time and space of this reality, only tying it to the movements and overall body of Boyfriend himself, allowed me to follow him and Girlfriend throughout various dimensions and reality,” Geovanni continued to explain.
“Alright, as impressive as your “magical techniques” sound, is there a point to any of this?” Sarv crossed her arms.
“Very straightforward, aren’t you?” Geovanni gave a nervous laugh, “Well, in any case, I…...require your demonic assistance.”
Sarv’s eyes widened for a moment before giving a rather pompous and joyful laugh that echoed the main church chamber, light momentarily shining through the ceramic stained glass from above the main doorway that led outside the building, an image depicting a cross with a halo on top, bringing golden light in that for a moment almost seemed to act like spotlights for both the nun and the man, Sarv covered in a golden yellow as the man was washed over with a peachy white.
“Is that a yes?” the man asked.
“Oh dear, you must have seen a few demons within your home to assume something that ridiculous,” Sarv let out another laugh, this one a bit more playful in nature.
“I’m being serious…” Geovanni responded with confusion.
“Oh, I bet you are!” Sarv giggled, extending her hand out in a warm happiness, “Come now, let this nun show you the joys of belief and clear your mind of these silly accusations.”
“Wait, but I-” Geovanni protested before being thrown a microphone that had pulled out of what seemed to be thin air, as Sarv flipped the switch on hers, a small DVD player towards the back of the church, on a small table near the altar, playing a rather cheerful melody that, with the building’s emptiness, easily echoed along its walls as if a speaker system had been placed there.
It looked like there was no changing this lady’s mind.
And so, the first battle begins.
[This battle is fairly straightforward since it uses the same songs as the first Mid-Fight Masses one, “Parish”, with the same movements for Sarv and Geovanni with the only difference being the background and setting that the two are in which is similar to the original character’s church, only now we are located in the center mass hall, rows of such a building’s benches being seen in the background of both characters, a red carpet being laid down beneath them as a yellow and dim glow lights up said background, two amber spotlights shining down on both characters.]
“Argh, not again!” Sarv scowled for a moment, gripping her microphone with an extreme force, the nun’s eyes momentarily flashing a magenta hue before she simply gave a deep breath, her grip loosening, as she returned her cheerful expression and smile, “Shall we try this again?”
“Lady Sarvente, I really do not have time for this!” Geovanni protested, but the nun wasn’t paying attention.
“And I do not have time for your accusations, so I will ask you again, will you join the church?” Sarv’s left eye twitched suddenly, the nun’s patience beginning to run thin far faster than how it last occurred with the children.
“I cannot do such a thing I’m afraid,” Geovanni looked down, a surprising amount of guilt in the sorcerer’s expression.
Sarv too was surprised by the sudden addition of sadness in the man’s eyes, but he was just as rude as that boy and his beloved, right?
Yes, just another accusation after another, though his reasoning for knowing her secret was rather solid.
No, she couldn’t simply give up like this.
“Then so be it,” Sarv pressed on the lower button on her mic, switching over to her next song.
With both sides a bit frazzled, the second battle commences.
[Same situation as before, only this time the song “Worship” from the mod is the music for this battle, Sarv’s movements still the same, although Geovanni’s movements are different, being from the third round in part 1 of the story, “Dark Resistance”, where he, like Sarv, is worn out from the first battle and a bit more hesitant to truly beat her and cause more trouble in his mission, but the nun wasn’t holding back, so neither could he.]
“OH COME ON!” Sarv’s voice echoed through the sacred chamber’s walls before the nun simply glared at Geovanni, grabbing something from her pocket before taking out a phone, making sure not to break eye contact with the man while she did so, “Don’t go anywhere.”
“I can’t do that anyway, since I’ve come for your assistance,” Geovanni tried to explain before being interrupted by the phone call the nun was in, speaking to a man that the sorcerer was quite familiar with due to all the posters he had seen gathered around the streets.
“Sarv….” a deep russian accented voice echoed through the building without the need to even shout, a man wearing a grayish white jacket to accompany a face that the sorcerer had only ever seen in cookie wrappers at the local supermarket, wearing a black eyepatch with markings over his left eye, large and heavy boots, and a ushanka, “You do realize that we are in the same building, right?”
“O-Oh, right….” the nun gave a nervous laugh, “I suppose it’s a force of habit.”
“Is there a problem here?” the man that Geovanni knew as Ruvyzvat without a clear indication as to his or the nun’s last names had asked the sorcerer.
“No, I am simply trying to recruit Lady Sarvente’s assistance through her impeccable and beneficial use of demonic magic in order to stop a massive threat that is a danger to our reality as we know it!” Geovanni tried to reason with the man, Sarv’s eyes softening for a moment.
“T-Threat….?” she said softly, though only Ruv could hear her.
“How did you know about her secret demonic shifting abilities?” Ruv asked as Sarv was immediately snapped out of her concern, her expression shifting to anger.
“RUV!” she scolded the man who slowly recorrected himself.
“U-Um, I mean, how could you accuse a nun of being a demonic ruler…?” he gave a neutral thumbs up towards Sarv who simply face palmed.
“Yes, that you a lot,” Sarv said bitterly, “Would you just deal with him please?”
“Right…” Ruv gave a quick nod as the nun threw him a microphone, the man flipping it off before looking back at Sarv for a moment, gesturing around the room, “Um, don’t you want to…..you know?”
“Argh, I completely forgot!” Sarv folded her hands together, her patience at needle length, before the nun once again took a deep breath, mumbling a few prayers under her breath, “You know what, I’ll fix it, but still, do try to be careful.”
[Ruv nods as Zavodilla starts playing.]
“As you wish,” Ruv readied his voice, one which everyone at that moment knew could destroy the pillars in this place, the man taking a short breath before-
“ENOUGH!” Geovanni shouted, startling Sarv as Ruv simply stood still, the sorcerer’s pupils depicting magical circles as at the ends of his hand’s fingertips slowly spun two fairly large circles of similar complexity of ancient images, the sorcerer expression tired and pained, “I have come here to simply ask for aid to stop a celestial and primordial deity from consuming our reality as we know it, and I’ve witnessed your abilities, inside and outside your interactions with Boyfriend and Girlfriend, but neither of you seem to really care about my message, do you?”
Sarv’s cautious position and expression once again softened, the nun reaching out towards the sorcerer whose head was dropped down, his own mic dropping with it as feedback pierced the church, neither Ruv or Geovanni seeming to pay any mind as Sarv winced slightly.
“You know what? I think it’s better I leave,” Geovanni took a deep breath before passing his hands through his hair and straightening his tie, a necklace of sorts glinting in the golden light as the sorcerer turned around, walking towards the main doors of the church.
Sarv and Ruv looked at each other for a moment before the nun took a few steps forward, steps which turned to walking, and walking which turned into a light jog that made it easier to reach the man.
“W-Wait!” Sarv called out as Geovanni stopped, just a foot away from the door.
“Hmm?” the sorcerer turned around slowly, irritation still present in his face, though it was apparent that the desperation for hope was also within the depths of his eyes.
“Wait…” Sarv rubbed her arm, stopping a few feet away from the man, “Please, don’t go…….we’re…..I’m sorry for chasing you away from this sacred place.
I do not completely understand your comprehension of what I am, just as much as I myself lack the understanding of what you are, but my mission, compared to whatever may be your own, is of equal importance to me, this being the insurance that all beings in this mortal and peaceful realm of melody are accepting into the heavenly gates of the father above, so in my own regards it is hypocritical and pathetic of me to try and hide away from those who require assistance.
That being said however, I require your understanding of my own situation, one in which I cannot simply reveal my demonic form to a mortal, especially one who I have never met and who has the capabilities to do harm with this secret, so how can I be sure that you are not deceiving me, or worse, a demon yourself?”
Geovanni completely turned around, this newfound respect and understanding being responded to with a slight nod from the sorcerer who recreated the peering spell that he had tried to use on Girlfriend early that evening, the floral symbol floating in front of him before revealing his aura and essence to the nun whose eyes widened.
“I do not know if you understand what this spell is, but sorcerers and magic users who protect the peace of this world have blue souls, a trait known to those who are within the good alignment of this world,” the sorcerer gave a weak smile before dissipating the spell, “I couldn’t physically use the spell on you when I had first seen you or Ruvyzvat, but I’ve seen what you’ve done throughout all these years, and you’re actually one of my favorite portals to view every day, so I come to ask for your assistance since I truly believe that you care for all life and that your abilities, while somewhat chaotic if your mental and emotional state are unbalanced, can be used for good, like the one who denied your entrance into heaven.”
Sarv stood motionless for a moment, contemplating the sorcerer’s request before taking a deep breath and nodding to herself.
“To what extent do you need my assistance?” she asked the sorcerer who widened his eyes as if he did not expect the nun to agree this quickly.
“Do you know of the Corrupta Nigrum?” Geovanni asked as Sarv thought of the name before the nun’s eyes widened as she looked over at Ruv.
“Ruv, be a dear and close the church for now, then meet us in the library,” she instructed as Ruv gave a hesitant nod, the nun turning back to Geovanni, “Follow me.”
With those words, Sarv grabbed the sorcerer’s arm before dragging him to the right of the altar in which a door was placed, walking through it with the nun before finding himself between two doors, one on the left and the other right, before Sarv opened the left door, gesturing that Geovanni follow her down a stairwell as they walked down, luminescent lights hanging overhead as they walked deeper and deeper down into what he postulated was the library Sarv had mentioned, until the nun and he stood in front of an ordain and biblically carved door depicting the true forms of angels such as seraphims, thrones, watchers, and images of crosses.
Sarv turned the knob before opening the door, a warm light hitting the sorcerer’s face as the nun gestured he enter the room, Geovanni doing so before finding himself in a place that reminded him of his study room, only a bit smaller, the factor that made of for such a feature being the thick books that dotted the shelves, dust covering almost every surface, and a single one foot by two foot book that lay flatly opened on a lectern with a chair in front of the piece of furniture.
“Incredible….” Geovanni commented with awe, looking around the room before hearing a loud slam of the door behind him, whirling around to find Ruv closing the door as the man leaned on it, crossing his arms in expectations as Sarv walked up to the large text towards the end of the room, blowing on it as a cloud of dust gave way, making the trio begin to cough.
“Apologies, it is a bit dusty, though that is merely due to the fact that I have not used this title in such a long time,” Sarv coughed a bit more before flipping through the pages, “Though the Corrupta Nigrum is a name I have only heard of through the first mentions of the story of creation itself.”
“So you know about it?” Geovanni walked up to the nun, looking at the book with confusion as it was written in a language unbeknownst to the sorcerer before he snapped his fingers, magical circles appearing in place of his pupils as he stared at the book, focusing on some form of a translation spell, only for nothing to occur, “How strange…”
“It is an eldritch and ancient language that only those closest to God can understand unfortunately,” Sarv placed her gloved finger along one line in the text, “Though demonic entities are capable of understanding it for a reason unknown to myself.”
“You once again amaze me Lady Sarvente,” Geovanni gave a friendly smile as Sarv simply waved away the name.
“Please, Sarvente will do fine enough,” Sarv gave a small laugh, her expression then slowly shifting into seriousness as the nun returned her attention to the text, “In any case, I take it you know of the story itself?”
“It is more so an event, but I believe I have,” Geovanni nodded before clearing his throat, “From what I remember, it goes as follows:
‘ In the beginning of creation, God had made it is own purpose to form the world as we now know it today, a world where his children could interact through the use of melody and music in a way that problems could easily be solved through a friendly match of musical beats that were implanted in every single human being, be it through instrumental or vocal larynxes within every single living organism that exists in the planet as we know today.
Unfortunately, with harmony comes disharmony.
Those that went against the holy order, demons and the Blacyx, creatures that inhabit capabilities that exceed those of the laws of magic and arcanic elements of the world to torture or decieve the reality and world around ourselves, alike, made itr their sole purpose to go against the order set across by God and deceive the world into sin, not through any personal and means of betrayal, but more so an invitable result of the creation of a universe.
Harmony vs. disharmony, order vs. chaos, the world was placed into an unbalance that would threaten to annihilate everything.
Fortunately, God the Allfather had decided to compact the evils of the world into one set entity, an entity that would center around destruction and chaos as humanity knew it, and he called this entity Corrupta Nigrum.
It is said that God had then sealed away the entity within a black void of nothingness, between the cracks of space and time itself, and that the peaceful melody that would consume the world will keep it at bay for all of eternity unless a certain event takes place.
The daughter of two demons, imbued by the power of hatred and melody combined into one paradoxical entity of disharmony and utter chaos, which then was called the Filia Obumbratio, if such an event ever should occur, wouldbirth a gateway from the void of nothingness in which the Corrupta Nigrum is stored and release it into the world which shall consume all of destruction.
Until that day arrives, the melody of the world shall keep it locked away in the chains of music, peace, etc…”
Sarv gave a nod of approval at the sorcerer’s memorization, Ruv simply tilting his head in confusion.
“So basically, it’s a huge monster that wants to eat the world?” Ruv gestured his hands to represent an explosion, “Like boom and we’re dead?”
“An oversimplification, but yes,” Geovanni gave a single nod as Ruv simply grunted, wishing to hear the answer from Sarv rather than this stranger.
“Unfortunately, over time various dimensions began to form within our universe and portals between them and us began ripping the fabric of space and time a bit too thin, allowing the Corrupta Nigrum to peer into our world and spread his influence among a fairly large amount of people throughout the lands of this planet and some other dimensions as told by the rest of the scripture,” Sarv continued with the next few pages, “We have been unfortunate enough to receive a coincidence in which Filia Obumbratio is within our presence, haven’t we?”
“I am afraid so,” Geovanni nodded sadly, “Though with your connection with God, we could very well fix-”
“Pardon me, connection?” Sarv repeated the word, “I presumed you needed my assistance, but to simply speak with the Allfather is something I cannot do, apologies.”
“Ah, I see….” Geovanni took a deep breath before nodding to himself, “Well, luckily I expected this to occur, so I planned ahead of time, though what I require of you will unfortunately place your actions into question with your ability to ever enter heaven again.”
“I see…...well, I really don’t-”
“She won’t do it,” Ruv stepped into the conversation, interrupting Sarv in her words.
“I’m sorry….?” Geovanni narrowed his eyes in irritation.
“You heard me,” Ruv took a step forward as Sarv grabbed his arm to stop the man from continuing.
“Ruv, it’s alright, I just-”
“No, she won’t let all these years of hard work go to waste!” Ruv interjected the nun’s words again, the man’s voice loud enough that a few books fell from their shelves, their thickness causing clouds of dust to float around the room, making Sarv and Geovanni cough as Ruv stood unfazed, “She’s tried so hard to do good in the world, and I won’t let her waste it on some second hand plan.”
“Ruv….” Sarv sighed.
“Ruvyzvat, I have monitored your atrocities throughout the world,” Geovanni now took his step forward, snapping his fingers as a magic circle appeared, a journal of sorts coming from it as pieces of newspapers fell onto the ground, “Moscow, Russia, twelve families killed, five of which contained six family members while the other six had between two and three.
In Vladivostok of the same country, thirty adult males and five women were brutally beaten and the ten survivors, eight being men and two being women, had suffered blunt force trauma toward their cranium.
For some unknown reason, in Bern, Switzerland, seven adult males, two women, a canine strangely enough, and an unnamed authority figure of the country’s Swiss intelligence community of the Federal Intelligence Service were killed through what those of the vicinity of the “accident” amounted to around 300 decibels, their bodies suffering extreme pressure with external bleeding as those near the area nearly suffered noise-induced hearing loss.
Shall I continue?”
Ruv stopped talking, the man’s eyes widening for a moment before he took a step backwards.
“Mr. Gouge….” Sarv warned, the nun’s eyes once again flashing their magenta hue.
“You may try and hurt me to Mister Ruvyzvat,” Geovanni flickered the necklace hanging around his neck, the piece of jewelry connected by a metallic eye at the center which momentarily flashed a golden light, the action causing hundreds of small spinning magical circles to surround the man’s body, almost like a protective shield, “Though I have hold of all your secrets, and I will not hesitate to bring justice to all those you have harmed, deserving or not, before your attempt at redemption is placed underway.”
“That is enough!” Sarv interrupted the argument. Standing between the two, “Mr. Gouge, if you wish for my assistance, you will respect both myself and Ruv, is that clear?”
“.....crystal,” Geovanni tucked his necklace back into his vest’s collar, “So, may I continue?”
“Please,” Sarv affirmed.
“Very well, my plan is to simply have you remain here in your church as a central point of communication between you and I wherein I will give you my number and we shall communicate with one another from across wherever locations I will be located within,” Geovanni twirled his hand around before revealing a small piece of paper that indeed had his number on it, almost like a slight of hand trick one would see at a party, “I have been forming a spell that can theoretically find organisms of an individual’s essence and very soul, forming a connection between yourself and any potential demonic entities.
If you are able to cast correctly, it will allow me to use my peering spell and find those around the world who hold a trace of the Corrupta Nigrum from ancient or recent times and contain them within a pocket dimension of sorts and…….we will unfortunately have to place Girlfriend into its walls as well, though in a comatose state so that she cannot tap into her seeded hatred and release the entity.”
“You are planning on imprisoning a young girl for something she isn't aware is within her body?” Sarv gasped, “That is beyond unholy of you Mr. Gouge!”
“Yes, well, I believe you should be questioning why God hasn’t gotten rid of, or at least tried to prevent, Girlfriend from being born or had at least sealed off this entity so that it couldn’t break the foils of its imprisonment, and now we have to save our reality ourselves,” Geovanni retorted before looking at the duo, “We have to do this…...together.”
“I….I will try and see if I can perfect and find a capability to complete the spell,” Sarv said after a few moments of acquiescence, “Though I beg you to find a less vulgar, less inhumane way of doing this.”
“I will….” the sorcerer nodded sincerely.
“How did you find this “pocket reality” in the first place?” Ruv asked.
“Actually, this pocket dimension is one of our first individuals we have to find, one that I feel also contains the Corrupta Nigrum within her body, though I do not know her location as of yet,” Geovanni explained, “I will return to my home and find any other scrolls that could strengthen this spell for international locations. Can I count on you both to assist me?”
“I assist Sarv, not you…” Ruv commented bitterly as Geovanni handed the journal to the nun who smiled at Ruv’s comment.
“Very well, thank you once again,” the sorcerer gave a fairly diffident smile before walking towards the door and stopping, looking back at the two who had gotten started in reading the book, “Oh, and Sarv?”
“Yes?” the nun looked back at the sorcerer.
“After this is all said and done, I would love to join your church,” Geovanni said with a grin before walking back up the staircase.
Sarv smiled with glee.
A new member to the church.
A new potential friend.
And a new threat.
Mid-Fight Masses is a Friday Night Funkin' Game Mod by Dokki.doodlez and all respective characters associated with it are also owned by said creator.
Friday Night Funkin' is an open-source donationware rhythm game developed by Cameron "ninjamuffin99" Taylor, David "PhantomArcade" Brown, Isaac "kawaisprite" Garcia, and evilsk8r.
- End Of Part 2 -
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