#then he brings his brother/my dad along to cosplay with him

[can-of-pringles]

My uncle really is living it up cosplaying his characters at ren fairs and buying dozens of swords and blades

[bitchapalooza]

Hetalia actor AU(yes, inspired by the BNHA actor AU specifically)

• Alfred and Matthew are irl twins that got their start in acting as children. They both at first tried out for the roles of Northern and Southern Italy but they were seen to be better fits for the North American brothers. That and their Italian accents were not the best. No one cared they have an Italian uncle. Literally no one asked them. In fact their bad accents prompted the casting list to go more international faster than it already was. They both look exactly the same without the addition of the cowlick or ahoge so it's pretty good Matthew grew his hair out for this role. Otherwise they'd constantly have to correct everyone like they used to in the other shows they worked on.

• Arthur thought he was auditioning for the newest James Bond movie but turns out his agent tricked him. Arthur ended up liking it however and stayed. He managed to drag his son Peter in to audition for the role of Sealand, as Peter wanted to get into acting in something bigger than school plays. His character may be annoyed by his son's character but irl you can catch Arthur being a loving and caring father. Peter however is embarrassed to be around him, just as many kids are to their parents. Arthur is much more relaxed than the character he plays. And Peter isn't as annoying as Sealand is. He's actually always on his phone or doing homework when not working.

• Francis did not know a lick of English when he auditioned. He went into this blind. And yet he got the part after staying up 3 nights in a row beforehand listening to the Google translated script(from English to French and back) to memorize it that way. Presently he may be on par with a 10 year old's basic knowledge of English but that doesn't stop him from frequently speaking only French on set when no one else but Yao and half the writing staff understand him. He even only does his interviews in French because WHY put effort into a second language??? Y'all he's the epitome of lazy.

• Ivan is the prankster on set. He teams up with Kiku, Basch, Peter, Alfred, and Mathias very frequently to prank everyone else in the cast. He also purposefully messes up his lines when his character is being creepy. He'll say the weirdest shit while in the most intense scenes. During the magical pipe of pain scene, Ivan caused almost 20 retakes because he kept making bad innuendos causing everyone to lose their shit. He's the exact opposite of his character.

• Roderich really is a former pianist and former child actor coming back to acting because gosh he missed it. He's actually SUPER irresponsible with his money despite the character he plays. The first paycheck from the show he spent on a bulk of 200 rubber ducks just so he could set them up in his bedroom on his and his wife's 3rd anniversary. All for a chuckle. And to get a use out of them. That was an impulse buy. And he does not regret it. The scenes where Austria is playing the piano really is Roderich playing it, and he asks there to be almost no sound editing to those takes whatsoever. He's extremely forgetful so the staff has resorted to sticky noting his lines into the scene then green screening it out later. He's a good actor but someone help this man's poor memory.

• Timo basically already was Finland before ever auditioning. His friends already called him the dad of their group to begin with. He's a sweet guy and he bakes cookies and other sweets the night before just to bring them in to the set the next morning for not just the cast but the entire film crew too; he has two ovens for this and really knows how to speed bake. He just wants to make sure everyone's morning is as good as his own is. He's just a darling. Everyone is glad Berwald recommended Timo for the part of Finland and even happier that he got the role.

• Gilbert is a brunette with brown eyes irl so no one recognizes him without the white wig or red contacts. Fans meet him and are like "You remind me of that Prussia guy from Hetalia! You'd make a great cosplay of him!" and he just accepts it every time by this point. Every convention he goes to, every interview he does he is in costume. At least he isn't constantly bombarded by fans like Ludwig or Ivan are.

• Feliciano is a very mature and professional guy despite the bubbly and goofy character he plays. Feliciano does have his relaxed and fun moments though, learning to let go from his time acting as North Italy. He's a really pleasant guy to be friends with but it can be a little tough to break through his shell. He's kind of shy, different from North Italy's friendly nature.

• Lovino is a nice guy. He's kind but not super kind, but also not an asshole. He does a lot a Instagram live streams after episode recordings, mostly of him hanging out with the other actors. He and Feliciano get along well but Lovino tends to hang around Ludwig more because he feels so bad for how he screams at him and insults him on set, even though its purely for the show. He apologizes immediately after filming is finished.

• Ludwig is pretty orderly but he isn't exactly mature. He's the one to recite bad jokes and puns to everyone, his favorites being dad jokes. No one likes this. At all. He's a fun loving guy that everyone can get along with. He has fun acting. He's very grateful Gilbert pointed him in the direction of the auditions.

• Kiku is glad his very first acting gig will probably be one of his most successful and popular. He's freshly graduated from college and completely chaotic. He's got a degree in business he's never going to use. He collects weird Japanese products as well as gifting them to his coworkers every Christmas without fail. He once walked into Ivan's trailer and tossed a whole bag of hard boiled eggs at him and ran off. The eggs all had individual faces drawn onto them. Ivan still does not know why he did this and he's honestly too afraid to ask at this point.

• The actor for Chibitalia also plays chibi Romano! His name is Emilio and he's Lovino's nephew. Emilio is a sweetie that pretty much stole everyone's heart. He loves working on the show, especially when he gets to curse and not get in trouble for it.

• Holy Roman Empire's actor was originally a kid who had no prior experience in acting neither had he really been near a camera before. He ended up freezing up his first day. He was recasted by Ludwig's son Otto, especially since Otto had been around a film set dozens of times before. The dad jokes really escalated once Otto was brought on set....

This is all I'm going to do for now without the post getting too long. Plus I'm tired and have a headache. But I really wanted to get this out lol I spent 3 hours figuring this all out with a really bad glaucoma headache please at least appreciate this for my eyes' sake lmao

[cherry3point14]

What Does The Fox Say?

Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Crack. Orgy. Sex Party. Don’t let your nethers tingle, it’s barely flirting. SYNONYMS. Word Count: 2,300ish.   Summary/Prompt: There’s a case. Witches or something, and they’re killing people, specifically furries, maybe. As such one Dean Winchester goes to a furry sex party to look for clues... A/N: Written for @kalesrebellion​ “Bring On the Giggles” challenge. I think hope my synonyms for this challenge will be fairly obvious. Also, shoutout to @winchesters-meaty-feast​ who entertained my panic as this deadline loomed and pretty much talked me into birthing this ~thing. Sidenote - no disrespect to the furries who walk among us. It’s all exaggerated crack!fic. Peace and love. Yiffy on friends.

From the outside, it looks like any other two-story townhouse. There’s a car parked out front, normal mailbox, the works. Regular suburban home. The first clue that something out of the ordinary is happening inside—where the ordinary is mom, dad, and two-point four ankle-biters having dinner—is the windows. They’re all covered, curtains or blinds, it doesn’t matter. This is what it looks like when humans try to cover their tracks. Monsters choose places that are already deserted and forgotten. Humans hide in plain sight and end up sticking out like a sore thumb. Plus Dean has spent all day talking to furries about this house. Yeah, that’s the biggest clue, not the damn curtains. He’s had multiple lectures, not only from Sam but the furries, people, themselves. It’s not all about porn. They’d told him adamantly. Showed him drawings and all these things they’d made each other, and pictures from their conventions. We’re not all perverts! They could say it until they were blue in the face (they had), but Dean’s standing here looking at this house, knowing what’s inside, and it’s hard to believe the furries-are-innocent propaganda. It’s even harder to believe he’s walking in there of his own free will. The things he’ll do to save lives. Sam told him to change because “Freeze, FBI” might not go down well at this particular house party. What’s he supposed to change into? A Halloween costume? That suggestion earned him yet another talk about respecting people’s interests. Whatever. He gets it, they don’t all have full fursuit things and even the ones that do, don’t generally fuck in them, and really? Is it really fucking necessary that he knows this much about furries? At least he can put on a plain black tee and some jeans and Sam only half presses his lips together in disapproval. What is his brother expecting him to wear to a furry sex party? Cat ears? (Dean is offended by the implication even if Sam didn't say it out loud). Eventually, shuffling his feet, he makes it to the door and knocks. He doesn’t want to be here but Sam’s working another lead on the other side of town at a D&D meet up. All jokes about dungeons aside, Dean would have given up his music privileges all the way back to Kansas to switch places. Once again, scissors bit him in the ass. The door opens a few inches, enough to see, hand to god, a guy in white rabbit-ish body paint. He raises his eyebrows in Dean’s direction like he’s asking for something without saying the words. The guy definitely doesn’t twitch his nose and it definitely doesn’t remind Dean of that bunny from Bambi. Oh shit. The password. Right, because that was how you made a gathering like this more legit and less embarrassing. Dean’s throat tightens like the words don’t want to come out, or like he doesn’t want them to exist, “Yiffy Ki Yay.” Furry sons of bitches have even ruined Die Hard. The guy nods and pulls the door open enough to let Dean slide in, but not reveal too much of the clandestine activities to the outside world. Not that anyone on Maple Avenue is looking into this particular door. Either the neighbors know better or they don’t care. Although now that he’s inside Dean can see his nameless host is also wearing tall, white ears and furry cuffs on his ankles and wrists. The first of what, Dean assumes, will be many red flags that he should leave. Not that he heeds the warning. “First time?” The rabbit asks while Dean attempts to scan as much as he can see without a slack jaw. “Yeah,” he breathes out. Dean has been around the block. He’s seen the inside of more than just strip clubs. His number one use of the Internet is porn, his second? More porn. This is something else. He’s not judging, well, he's trying not to judge and failing miserably. These people aren’t hurting anyone though. In fact, someone might be trying to hurt them. Or the D&D players. They were still on the fence about how the groups were linked beside the weird deaths. Granted some of this party seems very vanilla from what he can see. He catches a glimpse of the dining room, which has been cleared of most of its furniture, and there’s your everyday orgy of mangled limbs. Those limbs happen to be a little furrier than normal is all. Thankfully not everyone is dressed as an animal. Not that anybody will be telling Sam that he was right. Some people are dotted around watching, or drinking like the sex isn’t happening, and some of the people getting involved are in plain clothes. Or, naked but not wearing any sort of animal accessory. At first glance, there’s a part of Dean that thinks he can appreciate the hedonism of it, without being bogged down by the fact that they're all cosplaying as goddamn animals. Animal enthusiasts, he corrects in his head before Sam telepathically delivers a bitch face from across town. And then he’s walking through the kitchen and there are two people nuzzling each other. People might not be the right word because they’re dressed as cats. Holding each other and stretching and bending their limbs. All feline movements and what he thinks is a purring noise, but he can’t confirm or deny because of the music coming from the cheap speakers on the counter. It might be sweet if it wasn’t in the middle of a sex party. Yeah, this is still going to take some getting used to. The rabbit is yammering, mentioning ground rules that Dean is only half listening to while he tries not to stare at the cats. He’s listening enough to follow the rules but actually, he can’t bring himself to look away from the most PC thing happening in the joint. “Did you get that because I heard the door…?” This time Floppy speaks with enough urgency that Dean snaps his focus back to the white rabbit. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll-” he wants to say ‘mingle’ like it’s a seventies swingers party and his biggest concern is where his car keys are. He licks his dry lips and they still feel like sandpaper, “-look around.” He does need to look around, talk to people, do his job. That’s why he’s here feeling like the spare dick at a fucking contest. Dean knows his limits though and before he investigates he's gonna need a beer.  Once he’s got a bottle in his hand, which he got from the fridge because he doesn’t trust anything that was sitting on any surface, even unopened, he starts climbing the stairs. The tinny music, the sound of bodies slapping against each other, and the low din of people talking like normal adults all fade with each step until he’s at the top. Practically not at a furry orgy anymore. Except it’s a new horrific game now. What’s behind door number one? Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembers Whiskers going on about the rules of the rooms. Lock up if you want privacy. Unlocked and shut means viewers welcome. Open doors are an invitation to play. That’s the word Thumper had used, play. The first door is locked. He skips the second because he can hear what's going on inside and even if he was in the mood to creep (he’s not), you don't walk in on the money shot. The third room is a bathroom, a stark reminder he's in a house that people live in. The fourth door he tries is blissfully empty. It looks like a guest room. Walls that are basic beige and nothing identifying. Then he sits on the bed and presses his back into the wall. He realizes this bed has probably been used for the activities he’s already seen tonight. Out of sight, out of mind. Dean takes out his phone and stares, annoyed, at the screen. Sam hasn’t messaged him, so the case isn’t solved and he doesn’t have an excuse to leave. He takes a swig of his beer and types with his free hand, trying to make an excuse. Find anything yet? Another long drag while he waits, forcing the drink down his throat in the hopes of some small semblance of dutch courage. Or in the hopes that everything is solved, so he can go back to the motel and beat his meat to hentai like a normal person. No, but this is actually really interesting. You? Dean’s fingers twitch wanting nothing more than to throw the phone against a wall. If he wasn’t obligated to text back to illustrate that he’s still alive then he might leave Sam high and dry. As it is his reply is short and simple. Nothing. He feels no need to mention that he hasn’t actually looked yet. Dean puts his phone away and throws his head back against the wall at the exact moment the door opens. She stumbles in with the ghost of a giggle on her lips. He’s expecting there to be someone following her considering the party he’s attending. Two people blundering into a room looking for a place to get some privacy. Except she’s alone and she’s not concerned to find him alone either. Her eyes widen a little but her smile is soft, “sorry, you’re not waiting on someone are you?” “Me?” He asks, concerned that he has picked up some paraphernalia along the way. Anything that might suggest he’s a part of this. She continues to wait for an answer to her question instead of answering his. “No, Nah. Just taking a breather.” “Thank god, me too.” She blows out a relieved puff of air before shutting the door behind her. In doing so she flashes him her tail. She’s a fox. Or some version of a fox. She hasn’t gone as far as body paint. Her outfit almost seems costumey rather than serious. It’s this orange mini dress—if it could be called a dress for how little it leaves to his imagination—with a bushy, foxtail attached. He hadn’t noticed her ears immediately, but now he’s seen them, there they are. Ginger and pointed on top of her head, and when she turns back to him he finally notices the little, black nose she has painted on. She sits down next to him, scoots herself on top of the sheets making them bunch under her. She doesn’t seem to care about him having dibs over the bed or room and it only takes a few seconds for him to not care either. In this close proximity, inches apart, he doesn’t see a fox, even if she is definitely dressed up as a fox. He sees bare legs crossed at the ankle, her dress fighting to contain her cleavage and the sheen of her skin from dancing. She’s holding a red solo cup, he assumes half full of alcohol considering the pink flushing her cheeks. “I’m going to take a guess,” she leans until her shoulder is pressed against his arm, “you’re either a first-timer or you’re lost.” Dean laughs because he feels lost even if his cover is supposed to be the former. “First time, that obvious, huh? Thanks for pointing it out. Real considerate of you.” She bites her lip enough to get him looking at her mouth. Thinking about her mouth. “Wolf?” “What?” “I get it, first-timers are still trying to be normal, but the dark colors and the brooding loner thing you have going on in here. A wolf missing his pack?” She brings her knees up and bends her legs under herself while she guesses. Twists her body in his direction. He can’t tell if she’s joking. It sounds half ridiculous and makes him think of the kind of wolves he hunts. Dean lies anyway, “ding ding. Tell the woman what she’s won. Or do you prefer..?” Dean waves a hand to her everything fox related as if he might seriously start using ‘fox’ instead of ‘woman’. His gesturing hand lands on her waist while the other takes another swig from his brown bottle. “‘S fine. We’re all still people underneath. I’ve got a job and everything.” She rolls her shoulders like she’s showing off for being employed, which shuffles her whole body half an inch closer to his until her knees are touching his thigh. She’s facing him, his arm still lazily, half wrapped around her as she raises her cup to her lips. “Oh yeah, what do you do, sweetheart?” He lets the syrup fall from his mouth because foxes like honey.

She laughs, the sound tinkles in the space between them. “I’m a diner chef. Nothing exciting unless you like to eat?” His tongue peeks out between his teeth, his lips smirking suggestively. “I’ve been known to enjoy a-,” Dean's eyes flick down her body to where her dress is stretching over her thighs, and then back to her face, “fur burger.” Nowhere else on the fucking planet would he get away with saying that. Only at a furry sex party. She doesn’t just smile at his line though, she hums, pleased he’s playing along, and slides a hand along the outer hem of his jeans. Fingers slowly crawling up his leg and tracing the denim.

One blink and the air is thicker, heavier, and Dean doesn’t give a shit when it happened.

Her eyes flash playfully as she finishes her drink. “Mmm, the only way to make sure a burger is done is a good thrust of a meat thermometer.” 

5eva tags: @divadinag​ @darthdeziewok​ @fluentinfiction​ @witch-of-letters​ @supernatural-teamfreewill-blog​​ @magnitude101999​ @alexwinchester23​ @jesseswartzwelder​ Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles​ @akshi8278​ @erins-culinary-service​ @bloodydaydreamer​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @ellewritesfix05​

[purplerose244]

Thinking journal for season 12 Prime Empire 😎😎😎 (1/2)

So, I'm keeping this during all of season 12 to put down my thoughts as they appear. It's mostly for not ranting every single time a new episode comes out so please don't mind me too much 😅 I'm following the English release so please no spoilers 😙

I'm gonna split it in two, since apparently the season has 16 episodes. So this is the first part, enjoy my rambling 💜💜

It's the 30th of March and here we go!

IN GENERAL

I'm so, SO HAPPY, we have a theme for this season. For my experience apparently silly themes (tech ninja, ghosts, pirates) had brought very surprising results so I'm SO DOWN FOR THIS 😍😍

It seems that they fixed the mood, there is a specific mystery and a specific mission to follow. I like it too

THE NEW WHIP IS DOPE AS ALWAYS

I'm really glad there are plenty of references to past episodes, comebacks are my jam

The only thing that still kinda bothers me is the length of the episodes. It's not all bad, I just think the 20 minutes format was better. One thing is splitting 20 in 10 minutes, another is putting together 11 minutes of important stuff. Doesn't bother me too much, I just wish there was more time for my favorite show 🤷‍♀️

WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENTER PRIME EMPIRE?

Is it normal for me to feel really old after they made the "what is a VCR?" joke? Like, I'm a uni student so still pretty young, but I lived through the transition from that to the DVD so... eh, I laughed anyway👵

Jay is smart, I really believe he is. Yet I saw him putting a possibly corrupted motherboard into a legendary game randomly found into a villain's lair, and I was like "Of course he did that, I love you you dumb*ss" raising my glass of juice towards him 😎

Okay, I'm down for this Lloyd. I'm down for a season with Lloyd being creeped out just because, being silly, just a ninja helping his friends and- (remembers there's a Harumi avatar in the sets) I'M NOT READY

The ending was actually nicely creepy. Cool nods in approval

DYER ISLAND

THAT INTRO THOUGH, THAT WAS EPIC! Love the techno sounds, love the clear gaming connection, I rate it 10/HECK YEAH LONG LIVE THE FOLD

I was scared about how the shorts were supposed to play along with the season, but it looks fine so far with the mechanic and later for Scott. Good 👍

Ah, Fist to Face, that game came all over from the nostalgic season 1. That's what I'm talking about 😎

So they just associated that Unagami is probably Dyer's avatar like that? Like sure, I thought about it, but it looks a little rushed. Mm, I wonder if there's something more behind it?

LEVEL 13

Cyrus Borg is back and he TALKS!!! Finally, he gets some action! Go tech dad!

I'm so happy he referenced the Digiverse, I would have been very disappointed if he hadn't. Time flies Borg...

Not gonna lie, I thought the next to follow up Jay's spot as best in videigames was going to be Kai or Lloyd. It's not disappointing though, since pretty much all the ninja have been seen playing, and to be honest I like the implication that Cole and Jay probably played a lot together. As bruiseshipping or as BrOTP, I still love them together no matter what 💙🖤💙🖤

Ooooohhhhh, that's why Zane and Pixal are left behind. It makes sense, sure, but I don't understand the implication of the plan: they saw Dyer entering Prime Empire, so why looking for him in real life? Mm, maybe they will investigate about his life and what happened... PIXANE ON THE CASE 😍

Already saw Prime Empire's world in the shorts, of course it looks DOPE, still very happy to finally being there!

SUPERSTAR ROCKIN' JAY

I don't know why, but Kai questioning the double jump made me laugh. Also poor him, he just got his powers back from last season and they're already gone again 😂

And of course. Them. Wow. It must be the most amazing and CURSED thing I've ever seen so far, the League of Jay 🤯 I'm so happy they exist and they freaking use past seasons' suits!!! Awesome!!! Never thought I was going to see Jay's old plain haircut again... yeah, he got better with the curly one, but I'm feeling nostalgic 🤷‍♀️

Their nick are histerical omg, Jaybird, Dee-Jay, Jaywalkin, I'm loving this way more than I should 😂 Also they freaking screamed "JAY-NJA GOO!!!" and I don't know what to do with that, it's too great for me to comprehend 👏👏

And then, THIS happened:

Your Honor, I would like to confirm this as THE MOST SECRET DREAM I'VE EVER HAD FOR THIS SHOW FINALLY COMING TRUE!!! A NINJA FROM NINJAGO DOING THE NARUTO RUN!!! 🤯🤯🤯 Done, I'm done, conclude the season, this is more than enough for me 😍

First Kai gets hit and fall from a building, DYING, then Lloyd gets desperate for his brother (MY BROTP 💚❤💚❤), then Kai respawns and Lloyd looks so relieved and Kai is all panting while slowly realizing it's a game and MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS MUCH OKAY???

As a very passionate Kai fangirl I always expect the cringy moment, it really is inevitable for my favorite hothead. I love that idiot so much it's unbelievable, even if it's an absolute and costant suffering 😅 Holy Garmadon it was painful seeing his VERY slow realization that in this game you only have four lives

... SO HE HAS ONE NOW!?! NINJAGO CREW YOU ALREADY KILLED ZANE, NYA AND LLOYD ONCE AT THE END OF A SEASON, DON'T YOU DARE PLAY WITH ME AGAIN 😱😱😱

Okay, I did not expect to hear about Mr. Cuddly Wamp ever again since Hands of Time and BOY if I'm happy it was actually a password, I love this show 😂

SCOTT FINALLY!!! YESS!!! 😍😍😍

Okay, for as long as it is not debunked, I will hold onto the Scott is Jay's brother/twin theory. I'm sorry but: his jacket has dragons AND lightnings on it, they have very similar skin in avatar mode, he said he was waiting for him in the short, he could very well have his same hair under cap and hoodie and he's a mechanic too. I know, I know, they could have the same skin because Scott helped him for the avatar, and there might be shadier reason behind the 'I was waiting for you' thing, and there are tons of good mechanics in Ninjago... STILL HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE??? 😍

SCOTT HAS ONE LIFE POINT TOO??? NO! NOOO!!! NOOOOOOO!!! Don't you dare appear and steal my heart only to die at the end of the season, come on!! 😭

So for now it seems like he just wants to survive. Can we actually confirm he's an avatar and not an NPC? I mean he could be, but I don't see the point of an NPC self aware of his life points. Idk, maybe I'm overthinking this 🤷‍♀️

Lol, Kai is the only one weirded out by the Jay-con all around him. Probably because he hasn't heard from his fans since Skybound 😅 (I'M STILL HERE MY FLAME BABE, ILY ❤❤❤)

And in all of his glory, freaking Superstar Rockin' Jay!!! 😎😎 Okay, I loved the design since the first time I saw it, but it looks possibly even better in the show 😍😍😍 And Jay looks absolutely adorable in it, and he's got a guitar, and he was waiting for his friends, and he hugs them (I'm weak for LEGO hugs for some reason) and he is so happy and AAAHHH 💙💙💙💙💙

I'm very curious about how Scott will play into the situation, clearly he will provide some kind of insight about Prime Empire. I can't wait to know more about him!! 😍

I AM OKINO

I did not expect this when I saw this Okino guy in the trailer... and I'm so happy I was surprised, I love him 👌

And he's voiced by Alessandro Juliani?? HECK YEAH!!! With all the hype about the DnD 13th season, and consequentially the knight theme, I really miss Nexo Knights and having Aaron's VA around makes me happy... any hope to have Giles Panton as well? I miss Clay the most 💙💙

This is what I'm talking about, the game theme needs this stuff! I was already happy to see life points, double jumps and respawns, but this? The NPC guide? Awesome 👍 It's nice to see the take on the matter, the guide seeing so many players getting killed, first because they did not listen, then because they were actually just unlucky. The touchy matter I always expect watching Ninjago 👏👏

At least I THINK he's an NPC? For now I don't really see a way of knowing, and it doesn't look like it matters. He didn't show life points so maybe? Does this mean he can't die? I have questions people

Which brings me to the cube thingies. That's what happens to the dead players? I mean, I would understand if they just become pixels, but there's also the drone that takes the datas every time. Idk, feels like there's more behind it. And honestly? It looks like great material for angst, like one of the ninja dies but then they discover they just need to get where Unagami stores all of the players! I hope it's something like this!

They designs of the players are really cool, I already saw them in the other episodes, but seeing them this close just confirmed it. Between this and Jay's awesome avatar, I see lots of great cosplay ideas coming 😍 I wonder when will Kai and Lloyd use their avatars, and why would they since I'm guessing Jay did for disguise and to distinguish himself from his fans

PLEASE TELL ME WE'LL SEE SCOTT SOON, I ALREADY MISS HIM!!! 💙💙💙 I have too many theories about that tech dude, I'm so excited about who he might turn out to be!

I was a little skeptical about the new ninja suits, but seeing them in the show convinced me, very cool! Especially on Nya 💕💕💕

THE GLITCH

Alright, Okino is indeed an NPC. Cool the fact that at first he could not understand the fact that he was in a game, but when reality changed he was forced to. Welcome into the crew! 😙

I'm kinda worried about it though, either they will shut down the game and he will stay inside or he will sacrifice for them. He's a very loyal samurai, I can see that happening and I'm SCARED

I WAS SWEATING BULLETS AT THE AMBUSH!!! I 100% saw it coming, we all freaking saw it coming, even the ninja did but where like 'we can walk and die or we can risk and die so might as well'. But still, my babies DYING and respawning so fast was not pretty 😱😱

Nya got the scariest death until now in my opinion, holy Garmadon Dyer DOES have a twisted mind...

Seeing Kai so scared of being in a new situation and with one HP reminds me A LOT of the Digiverse, and that's actually a nice touch. Give him a cellphone, hothead is a social media expert, but put him in a game and... huuhhh... 😅

Have I mentioned I love the ninja's new emoji masks??

BECAUSE I DO!!! 😂😂😂😂

So Unagami knows about them trying to stop him and he sent the rat people because of it. Considering how little we know about this guy, I'm wondering what we are about to discover

Alright, going to the next challenge, very curious about this adventure. So... beware of the rats, ninja? Still not sure what I think about the rats 😅

THE CLIFFS OF HYSTERIA

I would like to say Okino is the edgiest character of the show I've ever seen... but I've seen MORRO. But still poor guy, he got a case of the Matrix

Oooohhhh, the major question in videogames: better go grinding for more money to get the better stuff but while losing lots of time, or get the least expensive just to go on with the story but definitely risking to lose lives?

Ah there we go, so the energy cubes mean something! Also reference to the Sushimi guy of the set (gosh that name, I can't 😂). So do people actually die in Prime Empire or they are just kidnapped kinda? Can the ninja just bring back? ANGST POTENTIAL

Cole please don't die please don't die please don't die for the love of Garmadon please don't die somebody help-

HOLY FSM KAI I MEANT HELP FROM SOMEONE WITH MORE THAN ONE LIFE DON'T DO THAT BE CAREFUL PLEASE I FREAKING LOVE YOU YOU RECKLESS HOTHEAD ❤❤❤

Nya giving Kai a sweet look after seeing her brother is okay, that's what I live for 😍

So apparently Unagami is trying to build some kind of device using the energy cubes of the dead players (sounds kinda creepy like this 😱) to create some kind of portal? To Ninjago? I don't understand, if Unagami is Milton Dyer then why this? Just to bring his army and conquer? I mean I guess, sounds a little simple though. Then again, if it turns out it's not Dyer, it could be Unagami wanting to be real and get into his creator's world? Mm...

I like the message, having the ability to choose your own path. Very fitting for a game themed season, I hope it gets explored even more!

More for the "I love the ninja emoji masks of this season"'s compilation 😂😂😂

THE MAZE OF THE RED DRAGON

Duuuude, Jay being good at mazes comes all the way from Possession, the Tomb of the First Spinjitzu Master! 😍 ... or maybe I just rewatch this show too much... could be both really 😅

Unagami is NASTY!

Confirmed the thing about going into the real world, what scares me is how much powers Unagami seems to actually possess. Like, can he do the block thingy whenever he wants? Just straight up pause and do whatever? Wow...

Jay being extra 😎

I mean, of course he is, he's got better statics! 😂 I like how he seems so focused and in charge, I still hope we see more of him... and Scott... WHERE IS SCOTT???

I love dragons, this metal one is cute 😍

So now we have two ronin: a samurai looking for a path on his own in a digital world... and a shady guy named Ronin 😛 Total respect for Okino, he really showed the values he believes in. No matter he was programmed his way, I hope he finds what he's looking for. Better come back for the final battle!

One Keytana down, two more to go. I know one is the price of the race, while the last one... I don't really know.

More of the masks because I love them 😂 Here we have Vegeta Lloyd and Kawai Cole ✌✌

[xiaomomowrites]

Omg, omg❣️✨ Soo excited *_* Can you do a nerdy Eren headcanons with an ugly, acne, bad-teethed, weak health and cosplayer wannabe version of Mikasa? x‘)

Introduction: Okay haha sooo I’ve gotten used to writing these two as cool, calm, collected, with Eren as a huge fuckboy, and wow it was fun making a complete 180. I added a bit of a twist, so I hope you like it anyway! P.S. this was written at 1am and you totally got @unironicallynapping to laugh hard enough to start crying in the process of digging up these hilariously painful adolescent memories haha. -s.a.

Nerdy Eren, yes. 

He’s like really into Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh and he’s watched Dragonball Z all the way through. Jean tricked him out of giving him his most valuable trading card in elementary and he never let it go.

Trading cards and video games and posters and everything.

Please, he’s thirteen.

Childhood friends with Mikasa and Armin, as per ushe.

Lanky, awkward, lil bit of social anxiety. He’s got some anger issues that come with this, it’s hard not to be insecure, especially at this age. He’d get a little snappy with some misdirected anger in social situations. 

Thick glasses. Obnoxious bifocals and he sits in the front of the classroom.

Eren has braces, and yowzers does it make that cute middle-school-childhood-friend-after-the-school-dance-first-kiss awkward as hell because, shit, her mouth gets stuck in his braces. It doesn’t matter though, they’re on cloud nine that night.

He’s very happy go lucky, absolutely does not want to go into medicine just because his dad does it or business like his brother. 

Eren, my poor baby boy, he has asthma on top of everything. 

Mikasa! Oh, Mikasa. Really into cats but her parents won’t let her have one. So she settles for being one. 

She was a sickly child, taking frequent visits to the hospital, so her parents are pretty protective.

Baby’s got A-cups, barely.

Cat ears, cat stockings, cat phone case, the whole enchilada

Mikasa likes to cosplay her favorite characters, but she’ll only closet-cosplay because her parents, her Asian fucking parents, won’t let her spend any more money than necessary.

But her cat phone case was $40 LOL BECAUSE SHE GOT IT AT SAN JAPAN.

Eren has a little bit of a crush on her though, he thinks those cat ears are cute and she’s honestly the nicest person to him aside from Armin. Never entertains the thought though, kid’s got too much else going on at the moment.

Mikasa, on the other hand, is stupid in love with him but she won’t tell him (Armin finds this painful, but decides against intervening. It’ll happen when it happens, he reasons).

Mikasa buys her first pair of wedges and Eren can’t stop staring at her legs. Her skinny lil legs. 

Mikasa has acne because her Asian skin calls for too much oil, and the dirt buildup causes so many breakouts (im cryin)

She’s devastated, and uses her cosplay makeup to cover it up

ANIME CLUB ANIME CLUB ANIME CLUB

MIKASA WANTS TO BE A KPOP IDOL, AND VOWS TO TRY OUT WHEN SHE’S 15

She learns the dance to Like a Cat by AOA and sends a video to Eren (and hey, she’s really not that bad)

He locks his bedroom door that night

Every day after school they walked to the fast food restaurant one block from the school and paid in cash, feeling so cool because they got there on their own and paid. Eren goes there wanting one thing and ends up wanting something else, thus, “I didn’t bring enough money…”

She buys it for him, but tells her parents she bought her own food.

They share food at lunch and he walks her to class every day. 

He’s her shoulder to cry on when she fails her first exam and has to show her parents. They’re chill, she’s just so hard on herself. 

Eren moves to Marley Independent School District [MISD] because of his dad, so they go to different high schools. He hates it and they’re both devastated, but promise to keep in touch every day. 

Mikasa tries to tell her she likes him before he leaves, she really does. But it just didn’t work out, and Eren moves without knowing. 

They Skype a lot freshman year. Most of the time they’re not even doing anything or talking, just living with the other’s digital presence there. Even in school.

This dies out after first year for little things like, “I don’t have wifi”, “I almost got caught at school”, “connection is terrible, can’t hear you”, “I have an exam so I can’t call you this week”, “I got grounded for a month for something stupid”, and spring break just doesn’t line up for them.

OH SNAP TIME SKIP

They get into the prestigious Reiss University because Mikasa was valedictorian and Eren’s dad was his connection

Oh shiiit Eren ditches the thick frames and now sports cute thin round glasses. He overcame the asthma with meds (thanks dad) and now he’s super into sports and working out. Kid’s jacked and thinks he doesn’t need a shirt most of the time. His social skills improved since she doesn’t talk for him anymore. Now he’s just a closeted nerd, it’s still there deep down. He’s a bio major because maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to follow his father’s footsteps.

Mikasaaaa baby girl. She’s a solid C-cup now and wears heels (stilettos ayeee); bye wedges. Girl’s got curves for DAYS. Somewhere along the line she had outgrown the acne and the frequent health issues, and she’s also obsessed with working out. Ah, and she finally has her own cat. Got accepted to Reiss Uni for being top of her class, but her major is undeclared/undecided for now.

“Oh my god…Eren?”

“….Mikasa?!”

“Wow, it’s…been way too long.”

“I fucking missed you. Shit, you look amazing.”

“You too.”

Oh now they on snapchat ayeeee. So much flirting. He asks her out on snap, to which she replies, “try again”. 

Pretty much start dating like a week after reuniting.

He takes her home to Marley for winter break and Carla pulls her into a mama bear hug, “Oh my…Mikasa! Oh my god! You’re so beautiful!!” 

Mikasa’s parents, on the other hand, don’t even recognize Eren at first when they visit Shiganshina the following week. “Who’s this…? Oh! Eren?? Jeager??? You’re so big now!”

FRAT DADDY ZEKE comes home for break while they’re visiting and doesn’t recognize Mikasa as the Mikasa from Eren’s childhood at first. “Ayeee hah, Eren, oh shit, you uh…you hittin’ that?”

“Yes, clearly, I took her home, jackass gO AWAY.”

postscript:

Mikasa stands in the doorway, waiting for Eren to look up from studying. He’s sitting on his bed, brows knit together in complete concentration, with at least three different books in front of him. It was winter break, she had no idea why he insisted on studying even after finals. Guess he’s always been this way. 

“Hey,” she calls out to him. 

“Mmm,” is his lame response, eyes still focused on his readings. 

“Eren,” she crosses the threshold into his room, hoping what it is she was wanting to show him would at least get his attention. “Look what I found when I was looking through my parents’ attic with my old stuff!” 

“What is it, Mikasa? I’m…” the words seemed to die on his tongue when he finally looked up at her standing beside his bed. She was wearing his oversized hoodie and maybe some shorts underneath. He gives her a once over until his eyes land on the old relic she was trying to show him in the first place at the top of her head. “Are those…?”

“Yes,” she smiles. On her head sat her old cat ears headband, a little worn out, but full of cute (if not cringy) memories. Mikasa flicks the right ear and laughs, and the sound is music to his ears. “I can’t believe I used to wear these everywhere.” 

Eren swallows thickly, suddenly aware of how dry his mouth had become. Not three feet away from him stood his girlfriend, the girl of his adolescent dreams, wearing his hoodie, legs distracting as ever. And the cherry on top was the headband that he found so adorable years back. Oh boy, if his thirteen-year-old self could see this now…

Maybe he had acted on impulse, he wasn’t sure, but the next thing he knew she was underneath him on his bed, his books discarded to the side and his hands were all over her. She laughs again, and it’s enough to make him reel back, flustered.

“I didn’t know you liked these ears that much.”

[fandorkofeverything]

The Peter Parker Project: A Million Dreams Chapter Two

And, this will now be a series! There will be two more installments, and MAYBE a fourth, depending on how this goes.

/Peter's P.O.V/

"Wait…. You got kicked out of school?" Pietro asked as Jade was setting up a movie.

"And you didn't get in trouble?" Brooklyn added, sitting next to me on the couch.

"Teach me your ways, I could've gotten away with a whole lot more at your age." Megan joked, bringing over the popcorn.

"You're only a year older than me." I stated, facing her and she laughed.

"Yeah, 365 days' worth of insanity!" Megan threw popcorn in my hair and I shook my head.

"Hey! Watch the curls! I love the curls." Brooklyn got the greasy popcorn out of my hair and I blushed slightly. It's not like she's my girlfriend or anything. Nope. Not at all. Not one bit. Noooo. Never.

"Not important, back to the subject on hand," Jade smiled, sitting on the end seat of the couch. "You got kicked out, Parker. And for what?" I sighed and shoo my head.

"I corrected a teacher."

"Oooh, do spill!" Maddison exclaimed; her thick English accent clear as always.

"She had Einstein's Theory of General Relativity problem wrong. I simply corrected her, and she kicked me out of the classroom and the principle sent me home. End of story." I shrugged at that and Jade scoffed.

"There's got to be more than that, Parker." Jade glared and I rolled my eyes.

"My name's Peter." I mumbled, annoyed. Jade and I have never got along. I just don't like how she treats other people. But she doesn't have anyone else, so I tolerate her.

"Hey, how about we start the movie, hmm?" Megan questioned, shaking the remote in her hand. Jade sighed and relaxed on the couch arm.

"Fine."

"Great! Let's get this party started!" Kayleigh stood on the couch, jumped and then plopped down, earning a laugh out of me and Maddie.

Megan started the movie, and we were about halfway through the movie when Kayleigh started to get tired.

"Doesn't Sherlock look like your Dad, Brooklyn?" Megan stated, not taking her eyes off the TV.

"No shit." Brooklyn teased, with a wink.

Nobody really talked until the movie was over, and Kayleigh had fallen asleep.

"She's awful sweet for an eighty-something kid." Jade teased and I rolled my eyes, that joke obviously overused. "I'll take her to bed." Jade picked her up and carried the youngest of our group to her room.

"All of us should go to bed. We have school tomorrow." Wanda stated, taking her brother by the hand.

"Yeah. Great." I rolled my eyes, not wanting to go to the disgrace of a high school.

"Hey, soon you'll be at Seaside! No need to worry!" Megan hugged me, trying to be positive.

Except they don't know about Flash Thompson.

I've always had trouble falling asleep, but it was never like this. It was like I could hear everything in the whole world. I tried covering my ears, but it wasn't helpful. My eleven was now a fifteen. Maybe even a seventeen.

I tried to go to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. my alarm then went off and I groaned, rolling off of my bed and onto the floor.

"Karen, would Mr. Stark be mad at me if I just slept on the floor instead of going to school?"

"I would assume so, Peter. Mr. Stark knows that your schoolwork is very important for your—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it."

It was like everybody was screaming. I could hear Brooklyn and Mr. Stark from the kitchen.

"But I want tacos!"

"You can't have tacos for breakfast!"

"Well, why not?!"

"Because I said so!"

I could hear Maddie on the phone with her father.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"You know what to say if someone asks you out?"

"My Daddy's a doctor and will fuck you up?"

"Maddison!"

"Sorry Daddy."

I could hear Pietro singing the sonic theme song on the treadmill. Loudly.

"Gotta go fast, gotta go fast! Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster, faster! Moving at speed of sound! Make tracks! Quickest hedgehog around! Got ourselves a situation! Stuck in a new location! Without any explanation! No time for relaxation!"

"SHUT UP PIETRO! IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFEST!"

Wanda's scream made me flinch, as her screaming on top of my elevated senses made it worse.

I know that most of the people were just having a discussion, but it came on like a heard of wildebeests. Accepting my fate, I got dressed and went to the kitchen for breakfast. Oatmeal sounds pretty good right about now.

"Wow. You look like shit." The raven-haired girl pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks, Jade. I thought I'd cosplay as you today." I smirked at her facial expression after I said that. just because my senses are elevated doesn't mean I can't be cocky towards her.

"Good one, Pete." Kayleigh put out her hand for a fist-bump and I did so. I have no idea how the blonde can tell where I am without her ability to see, but that will always be a mystery to most.

"Oatmeal Tuesday, right Pete?" Steve asked me and I nodded, my head still pounding like three thousand phrases were placed into my head at the same time.

"I'll be taking you to school today, kid." Natasha told me, giving me my oatmeal and I hummed in response with a nod, letting her know I heard her. I ate my oatmeal quickly and we left.

About ten minutes into the drive, Natasha seemed to finally speak up about my silence.

"You okay, kid?"

"Yeah, just tired." I lied through my teeth and Natasha shook her head.

"No, I know what tired looks like. It's more than that."

"I'm fine. I'll be a whole lot better after I transfer to Seaside."

"Yes, The School Of The Arts. The brats- I mean kids, love it there. Any thoughts on classes?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Depends on how hard their AP classes are. Most of STEM subjects are too easy for me."

"Kid, you have the IQ of 230, just 20 points off of Stark, of course they're too easy for you." I smiled at that. There's not many things I'm good at, but school is one of them.

"Alright, kiddo. Have a good day." Natasha smiled as she dropped me off and I closed the door.

She didn't scream 'have a good day' like Uncle Bucky did, and I'm kind of grateful. I don't think my brain could handle it at this point.

"Have you got the notes for science class?"

"Did Black Widow really drop Peter Parker off at school?"

"Did you study for that chemistry exam?"

"Do you have anything toe eat? I ran late this morning."

"Did you see the new Voltron season yet?"

"I'm going to Germany for spring break and the 'rents said I could bring a friend. Wanna come?"

"Did you hear their making a live-action Lion King movie?"

"Ugh, I'm so sick of school. Correction, I'm sick of waking up in the morning."

"Did you eat last night or this morning?"

"Dude, my moms been on my case all week. If I don't get my grade up, she's gonna hire a tutor."

Every single one of my school's voices came all at once. And all extremely loud. Airplane loud. Breaking news loud. Screaming loud. I placed my hands over my ears, but again, it was useless.

"Yo, Penis Parker!" Flash's voice came in like a freight train and I flinched slightly. "What's your problem? Did I scare you?" He taunted and laid his hand on my back, which I shoved away. "C'mon! I thought you liked touch." He did the same and I backed up and screamed.

"STOP TOUCHING ME!" I lowered to the ground, hands over my ears, closing my eyes tightly and shaking, not caring who saw what. The world became quiet, and I felt eyes on me.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" I recognized MJ's voice as I heard her shoes squeak against the high school flooring, clearly newly bought.

I suddenly found myself shortness of breath and struggled to breathe. MJ noticed this and sat next to me on the ground, but didn't touch me, which I appreciated.

"What's wrong with him?"

"What a loser!"

"Wow, that's a new low, Penis Parker!" I felt my side and face experience pain and then a sound of someone punching another person and a girlish scream.

"DON'T YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON HIM EVER AGAIN, FLASH THOMPSON!" MJ's scream caused me to sink back into the lockers even further, if that was even possible. I heard the running of shoes, and then a new person sitting beside me.

"Okay everyone, get to class! This isn't a talent show!" I recognized Mr. Dell's voice and the sound of people scattering. I liked Mr. Dell. He treated me like a person and not a little kid, like most teachers in this crack house. "Peter. Are you alright?" I shook my head, unable to bring words to life. "Would you like me to call someone? Your Aunt?" I shook my head, she's still out of town.

"Maybe try Mr. Stark." Ned's voice then became known, now knowing who sat beside me.

"Do you have his number?" MJ asked, I felt my phone leave my pocket and I heard the ring.

"Pete, shouldn't you be in school?

"Mr. Stark, this is Julius Dell at Midtown High, I'm here with Peter, Michelle and Ned, and Peter has seemed to have had some sort of a panic attack."

"What happened?"

"I cannot tell you what happened directly, but he seems to be really shaken and won't let anyone touch him."

"I'll be there soon. Tell the kid to hold on."

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

I heard the phone hang up and I begun to shake a bit more violently, I grabbed at my hair and clawed it.

"Pete, let's not do that, okay?" Mr. Dell removed my hands from my head, and I fell to the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs.

"Pete?" MJ's worried voice asked, still sitting beside me.

I held my hands tighter onto my ears, and I then heard the run of footsteps.

"Geez, kid…." Mr. Stark's voice calmed me slightly but didn't stop my attack. "I'll be taking him home."

"I think that's very advisable. I'll let the rest of his teachers know."

"You're not like the other ones are you?" Mr. Stark paused for a moment. "You care for him. I can tell most of the other teachers don't. Not really."

"I care for my students like their human beings. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Everyone should." I felt my body leave the ground, and I assumed that Mr. Stark picked me up.

"Come on, I'll walk you two to your classes." I heard the three leave and Mr. Stark carried me out, and I was strapped in.

"What happened to the kid?" I recognized the voice as Happy's.

"Panic attack, I assume. I'll find out later."

I leaned my head against the window and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was in my room at Avengers Tower. The lights were dimmed down for my senses, and I found I was wearing soundproof headphones. I looked at my phone and saw that I had thirty messages.

Ten from Ned, three from MJ, five from Brooklyn, from from Pietro, and three from Megan. All of them expressed their worry about me. I looked at the time; 4:45…... On a Thursday….. Did I really sleep for 56 hours? I sighed, got out of my bed and walked out to the main room.

Uncle Bucky was reading a book on the couch, Mr. Stark was looking at something on his database, and Brooklyn was watching a TV show.

"Well, look who's joined the land of the living." Bucky joked and I smiled, giving a small wave. Brooklyn ran up to me and hugged me.

"We. Were. So. Worried. About. You!" She shook me side-to-side during the hug and I just dealt with it.

"Brooklyn, ease off of him, dear." Mr. Star told her, and she released me from her prison- I mean hug. "So, what was that that happened on Tuesday?"

"You know how I told you that my senses are usually an eleven?" I asked and he nodded. "Well….. They were a seventeen on Thursday."

"A seventeen? Why?" Uncle Bucky asked and I shrugged, sitting next to him.

"It happens sometimes. But it's never been this bad. I think that was an anxiety attack, a panic attack and a sensory overload all rolled into one. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe….. I was scared." I confessed, and I noticed Bucky motion for the Mr. Stark and Brooklyn to leave. Mr. Stark wasn't happy about it, but he did so anyways.

"Do you know what caused this? What caused you to finally snap?" Uncle Bucky asked and I shook my head.

"Peter. I know when you're lying." I froze at that. Of course. I can't lie to Bucky Barnes. "Come on, tell your favorite Uncle what's bothering you so I can fix it."

"You can't fix this…." I mumbled and walked out of the room and back into my bedroom. There's a lot of things that Bucky can fix. My mental state. Homework. School. And dealing with my parents and Uncle's death…

But he can't fix this.

What Peter experienced is called a Sensory Overload. I've experienced these so many times, and let me tell you, it hurts. It hurts like hell. Luckily Peter has so many people that care about him to help him out though!

[kur0kvmi]

The Menacing Mind of Felix Lombardi-Act 2

I peek through the door glass one more time, to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Yep. Ami Fujinami in the mother, fucking flesh. 

“Felix? I know you’re in there, open up” Ami said, in between repeatedly knocking

“Yea I’ll open it up in a minute” I said as I frantically searched for a clean pair of sweatpants to wear.

Ami and I have known each other for the entirety of the 2 years I’ve been living at this apartment. She and her Grandma have taken pretty good care of me seeing as I’m not exactly the best at it. 

“Hi Ami, what brings you here?” I asked, trying to push out the conversation with my brother from my mind

“Well, a strange man in a dark blue suit was here yesterday and he gave me 2 tickets to Mysticon” 

And then it call comes rushing back

“Wow that’s weird, well have fun” I said as I tried to close the door on her, only for her to stop the door from shutting.

“He said he was your brother, and that I should ask you to go with me” Ami said, slowly edging towards me like she was trying to get a good look at the reflection in my eyeballs.

“Well, I have no idea who you’re talking about. I don’t have a brothe-”

“Hello? Mr. Lombardi? He said exactly what you said he’d say. Mhmm That he doesn't have a brother. Should I hand him the phone? Ok. Ok. I’ll tell him.” 

Oh fuck.

“He says if you don’t go to Mysticon with me, I should tell Obaa-san to lock you out of the wifi for a month” Ami said, in the most perfunctory tone imaginable.

“First of all, you can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. And to be honest, I don’t care if Mr. Lombardi is your real brother or not, I want to go to Mysticon, and I don’t care who with. So you’re going with me Felix.” Despite the fact that Ami was more or less extorting a date out of me, she did so with the gusto and demeanor of a middle schooler who just won a spelling bee. 

“Why couldn’t you just go by yourself?”

“The deal is, I take you, and I get a free ticket. Mr. Lombardi was very clear about this” 

“So I have no choice”

“None at all”

“Alright. Come knock on my door on saturday”

“It is Saturday, you bum”

“Why aren’t we using your car?” Ami moaned as we exited the building. 

“The train is faster” I said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my jacket.

“Mysticon is in Hells Kitchen right?” Ami asked, whilst reaching into her backpack

“Yup, and it’s...3pm, traffic will be annoying, and I don’t wanna worry about driving back if I buy weed.” I said, pulling out my lighter

“What have I told you about smoking when you’re next to me.” Ami said, pulling out a batton, then flicking it to extend it’s length. 

I put the cig back in the pack, whilst prompting her to sheathe her weapon. Throughout the journey my mind is racing. Ami and I hanging out again? It’s not that I like her or anything, it’s just that I kind of missed her. Hey I’m allowed to have feelings aren’t I? I’m sure you’re wondering “but Felix, if you missed hanging out with her, why did you stop talking to her?” Why yes fair reader, that’s a very adequate question, however the nature of our relationship isn’t that simple. Ami is kind of an all around nerd aficionado, she cosplays, she writes fanfics, she draws, she sings anime openings on youtube, it’s kind of scary how much she does all over the place. Recently she’s started to get really famous online, she’s started to devote a lot more time to it, and She started ghosting. Being distant... And you know me, I ain’t exactly a butterfly myself, so we just drifted apart. She should be making money on youtube, couldn’t she just get her own tickets?

“Obaa San wouldn’t let me” Ami said as we reached the station. “She’s against anime conventions on principle”. 

“Is this about a ‘Japan is more than anime’ thing?” I asked, shifting over to the right as I stepped on the escalator so I could walk down past the standers.

“No that’s more my parents. Baa san is a reeeeaaally old school Otaku.”

“Then what’s her beef with anime conventions?”

“She thinks they’re ‘commodified caricatures of otaku culture’ or something along those lines” Ami said as we hopped on the train.

Granny Fujinami isn’t wrong in the slightest.

“So she won’t be mad at you for going?” 

“She’s only letting me go because I’m going with you. It’s aaalways about you with her.”

“Not my fault i’m the grandson she never had” I said while making a mocking face at Ami.

“She only loves you cuz you’re a broken mess she can nurture. You’re like my dad. Ugh, you’re like all men really.”

Ouch.

“Ouch.” 

“Suck it up loser.” Ami said, shifting her direction away from me. 

“You’re so cute when you go all Tsun” I said, pulling out my phone.

“That would imply me having any ‘dere’ for you.” Ami snapped back.

So hot.

[At the Convention]

What’s going on what’s going on going on. Everyone’s looking at us. Well I guess I am walking next to Amura. Yes that’s Ami’s social media name, you try coming up with something better at 12. Mine’s [REDACTED]. This is not what I signed up for. Louis Othello Lombardi you fucking bastard. You knew this would happen. You did your homework on Ami and figured out she’d be a lightning rod for attention. Keep me around her, and I’m bound to be assaulted by nothing. But. Fucking. People.

“OH MY GOD IT’S AMURA!” Two young girls screamed. “But I heard you weren't coming? You said so on twitter :(.“ I swear to almighty Haruhi Suzumiya, if there was such a thing as a frowny face emoji in real life, whatever that girl did was damn close. 

“Well change of plans ^_^” Oh my god, Ami can speak emoji too!

“So what panels are you going to? I heard Gail has a panel about anime piracy” Said one of the fangirls, angling towards it on the con directory. 

“Gail from Crunchyroll?” 

“Sounds fun! Felix, ikimasu!” Whoever this version of Ami was, I wanted NO PARTS. 

“Sounds lame. I’m going to the arcade.” I was putting my foot down

“Ok cool. Hand me your pass then. You can pay on your own.” 

“You can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. You want this pass?.” Ami pulled out the 3 day convention pass out of her purse and dangled it in front of me. Obviously I tried snatching at it, only for Ami to move it out of the way. Damn japanese reflexes.

“Gotta be quicker than that. We’re going to the panel. Follow me.” Ami said, tossing me the pass.

“If you sneak off, I’m calling Obaa chan.” she said, in that her perfunctory yet declaratory way.  

“...So what you end up having is an environment where it’s harder and harder for us to justify hosting servers for anime distribution, because they don’t wanna pa- *ahem* because piracy.” Or something to that effect I’m not really listening to this Gail lady.

Anime piracy is a dumb thing to have a panel about anyway, it’s not like anybody in this room even knows how to torrent off wonwons, let alone\ how find the right codec for shows with bad compression. These are a bunch of crunchycores. The kinds of anime fans so hopped up on seasonal hype that the mere thought of an anime older than 12 months makes their tongues run dry, and their eyes wire shut.

“Are there any questions?”

“You got anything to ask?” chuckled Ami. 

“Why are we here. We both know Kissanime is in your bookmarks” I jeered.

“Networking dummy. I talk to Gail after the panel, and smooth out something over at Crunchyroll” For some reason Ami’s eyes did the dollars signs when she said “crunchyroll”

“In San Francisco? You’d hate it there.”

“I’d make it there. That’s the important part. I’d really make it. I’d be in.” 

“In what?” I said with a look of befuddlement. 

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re basically guaranteed a job after graduation” 

“Hey, don’t make it like tha-”

“Don’t make it like what Felix?” Ami snapped, but less with anger, and more a tired expression.

The Panel was beginning to wind down, and folks were getting up to leave. Ami bounced out of her seat and darted towards the stage. 

“Gaaaaaiiiil! Hiii, I follow you on twitter!” Ami screamed, like a schoolgirl seeing a classmate

“Amura! I follow you too! I love your singing” Gail responded in a surprisingly similar manner.

“Thanks so much, ugh. That means alot l love you and Sailor Bee’s podcast ^_^” This whole display was just. The worst. 

I backed off from the discussion, but I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to make it far without incurring that good old Fujinami wrath. Jeez they’re taking forever. Is this a meet and greet? Or a job interview. 

“Felix? Oh shit, how you been bruh?” This voice, I recognized it. 

I turned around, and yup, it was Tyler. 

“Who let riff raff like  you in here?” I said as we shook hands

“Is that any way to treat your one black friend:” He responded dryly. 

“I have plenty of black friends. Unlike you, most of my friends are girls.” I shot back. 

“Yea right, if you ever left your yuppie ass play pad I’d believe you.”

“You’d be surprised how many of em recognize me from Ami’s streams.”

“The streams she stopped inviting you to?” 

“Low blow T.” 

Tyler is a friend from Highschool who runs in the same online circles that I do. We keep in touch through discord and trade merchandise on message boards. He’s been trying to break into the FGC since middle school and recently struck a deal with a team based out of Brooklyn, The Mash Masters. He’s pretty good, quick reflexes, consistent muscle memory, but he lacks patience, and his neutral game needs work. 

“Where you headed to after this? Tryna hit up the arcade?” Asked Tyler as he picked up his backpack getting ready to leave. 

“I’m here with Ami, I gotta check and see where she’s headed to” 

“Whooptish” Tyler said, while making a whipping motion. 

“You know it’s not like that bro.” I shot back

“For her it isn’t, for you it is.” he retorted. 

I told him to wait up for a sec as I went over to Ami & Gail. They were still chopping it up like they’d known each other since band camp. 

“Shoot me a DM on twitter whenever you get the chance, I’d love to get you acquainted with the rest of my team. Maybe even talk bringing you to some other cons around the east coast ;)” Naruhodo, it seems this Gail is also of the emoji Clan. 

“Sure thing! Don’t forget to tweet out the channel link with the picture, and tell Vicky I said hi!” Ami said gleefully. 

“I definitely will, but uhh, she hates being called Vicky. Victoria or Sailorbee are just fine.” Gail responded, with a tinge of trepidation.

“Yea, I made that mistake on twitter once, it wasn’t pretty” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh hello, and who might you be?” Asked Gail.

“This is my friend Felix I was telling you about.” Ami said. Wait, telling her about what?

“Ah yes, the animator. Ami showed me your fan animation of Diebuster. Very interesting to see a Gainax show done with heavy Yutapon vibes” This lady knows her stuff.

“This lady knows her stuff” I said to Ami. 

“Of course I do silly, I work in the anime industry” The smile Gail shot me as she said this wouldn’t be out of place in a Shaft anime.  

“You definitely have some real skills. We’re looking for someone to do a sakuga heavy promo for our new youtube ad. If you’re interested, Ami has my contact info. It was so very nice meeting the both of you, don’t forget to keep in touch.” Gail said in a warm, professional tone as she got up to leave. 

“Well she seems nice” I said to Ami. 

“You’re welcome Felix.” Said Ami, in her usual biting tone. 

“I didn’t ask you for that. If I wanted a job at Crunchyroll I’d have one already.”

“‘Thanks Ami, I really appreciate you showing my work to someone really influential who can open doors in my chosen profession, would you like headpats?’” Ami said, in a mocking imitation of my sultry ciciillian speech pattern. 

“First of all, fine, thank you, that was a very nice thing to do, and I was pleasantly surprised. Secondly, do you seriously want headpats?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you weirdo” And there’s the Tsun again. 

“I ran into Tyler, he says he’s going to the Arcade, and I was looking to go with. You in?”

“Tyler’s here? Yea sure, let’s go” 

Ami & I leave the stage and head over to where Tyler is sitting when I get a text on my phone. 

[11:58. Text from Lou]: Having fun?

[11:58. You]: Yea

He’s just like mom. 

“Oh my god it’s Amura! Could you sign my Fightstick?” Tyler sniggered, his fightstick outstretched. He’s such an asshole I love it. 

“Knock it off, I’d actually sign it if I didn’t know you’d just flip it on Ebay” Ami sneered, arms folded and head angrily tossed to the side. 

“Aww don’t be like that, I really did want your autograph. You’d be surprised how many Blazblue players would pay good cash for one” Tyler said, packing his fightstick back in his backpack. 

“If anyone’s gonna make money off the Amura brand it’s gonna be ME!” Ami retorted viciously.

“Now that’s just anti-black business” I said, chuckling as Tyler dapped me up. 

Ami rolled her eyes as heavy as she could roll them and stomped out of the conference room, and we sheepishly trailed after her.

By this point in the day I’d grown used to Ami being a lightning rod for attention. My camera skills must have leveled up big time from all those pics I had to take, of her with fans. Just getting to the Arcade area of the convention was a whole 20 minutes of photo after photo with weeb after arrested developed weeb, and to be honest I was practicing some big time restraint to not just walk out of the center and catch an Uber home. But surely enough, through fire by force, we found ourselves at the-

Boy was this the kind of place I wanted to be. The whole area was what you’d expect from a high profile convention in a big city. What seemed to be at least 30 TVs all hooked up with consoles spanning an entire auditorium. This wasn’t an arcade, it felt more like a Bazaar crossed with a colosseum. You have your old reliables for the boomers like Street Fighter, MK, ok that’s neat, there’s Melee, 64, Ultimate, Smash 4, oh even Brawl, full house, that’s impressive. As we moved through, you could imagine that there were furrowed brows due to the smell, but in all honesty it wasn’t as bad as most invitationals I’ve been to. We couldn’t find the game we were here for though; Blazblue. Tyler directed us to the kiosk so we could get directions. 

“Nigga where the Blazblue at?” Tyler said to one of the convention attendees, 

All the way at the back, by the Under Night” The Attendee responded.

I was just about ready to dart over there when Tyler said: 

“Nah hol’ up real quick bro, I got a question I gotta ask you” uh oh, I hear the Brooklyn leaking out. 

“Yea? Is there something wrong?” the attendee said, with a befuddled expression.

“Y’all always hide the anime fighters, what's up with that?” Tyler said blankly, almost with no life at all. 

“It’s not my decision where the games are set up-”

“That’s not what I asked bro. I’ve done conventions fam, I sat where you sat. NYCC 2017, bigger con than this, and from what I know about my time there, y’all have a meeting to coordinate where the games are set up. Correct?” Oh my god, Tyler what are you doing. 

“Yes correct” The attendee responded. 

“So you were in the room when the decision was made, correct?” This is so wacky

“Yea, but like, I didn’t have a choi-”

“Nobody’s asking about a choice, I’m asking you, what was the reasoning behind the decision?” Should I stop this? Or?...

“They didn’t want the anime stuff turning folks away” Oh no, here we go

“There it is” Tyler said triumphantly as he began to walk off. 

“Hey, I think it’s bullshit too ma-” t

“Yet you said nothing. You and all your boys said nothing. Aight, I see you fam. Haruhi’s watching you” Tyler said, his back already turned and walking away.  “Let’s go guys”

“Did you have to make such a big hoopla you maniac?” Ami said laughing her ass off. 

“Because I have Principles Fujinami, you should try em some time” Tyler snapped back. 

“That was the FUNNIEST shit I’ve seen all day, I’m so happy I knew to record that” Ami said, still cackling. 

“Wait you recorded that?” Tyler said, shocked

“I uploaded it. Enjoy being a meme” Ami said blankly.

“Not again…” Tyler sighed.

We finally make it to the Blazblue section, and it’s about as serviceable as you’d expect. Two TVs both hooked up to PS4s playing Central Fiction. There wasn’t much of a crowd, about 5 or 6 people, all looked to be around college age, couple on the boomer side though. All guys. 

“This game is so hyperactive…” Ami said, in a tone betwixt judgement and bewilderment. 

“Not every game gotta be Street Fighter” Said Tyler. “Ey yo, who got next?” Tyler asked a portly asian fellow playing Taokaka. 

“Uhh, I dunno, anybody got next?” the Taokaka player asked. The crowd shook their heads. “I guess it’s on you bro after this.” 

Nobody else noticed, But Tyler’s killing intent began to spike. I get you’re excited kiddo, but you haven’t even chewed the scenery yet. 

The game was pretty hype. There it was Taokaka vs Valkenhayn. Both characters with adequate rushdown capabilities and heavy damage. The Valkenhayn was an even match, but the Tao was just catching clutch reversals at every corner. It felt like seeing a tiger beat a lion by leaving a bigger gash every time they left the scuffle. Tyler, ever the professional, was quiet as a mouse. A mouthy prick like him? Quiet? I know right? But he gets like this when it’s Blazblue. The data collection phase. See if Street Fighter is Chess, then Blazblue is Mahjong. The same level of depth, but a wider variety of dealing with situational disadvantages and advantages. Tyler sees what I’m seeing and he’s analyzing, putting his pieces together, he’s not here for fun. This is off the job training. 

“FINISH” 6 red letters on the television screen. Read em & Weep. 

“My turn now right?” Tyler asked the Taokaka player. 

“Yup. What’s your name?” said the Tao player

“Tyro, and you?” oh yea I forgot that was his FGC name, everywhere else he’s Tyrilla. He sucks at names yes I know.

“I’m Yiao, nice to meet you.” Yiao said, pushing his glasses up.

The character selection screen pops up and… Wait don’t tell me he…Oh boy, Tyler’s picking his middle school main. Hazama. Yiao on the other hand started mousing over Tao then over to Litchi. Come on pick a character already. After more mousing, his cursor finally landed on Mai... From rushdown to range spam. Just all around bloodthirst.

Both of them sat in silence as the loading screen started up, until Yiao broke that silence.

“I’ve heard of you, Mash Master Tyro. To be honest I was hoping we’d meet. I have this Mai prepared just for you.” said Yiao. Yawn. This happens all the time. Tyler’s probably got him scoped already too.

“Yiao, third runner up at Anifight Staten Island. Three. Years. Running.” Yup, knew it. Tyler lives for this shit.

“You wanna know why HowRite was able to beat you 3 to nothing last year?” Tyler said, deadpan staring at the screen.

“THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING” oh shit the round is starting.

“Cuz he knew if he lost, he’d never get to face my mentor in the finals”

“But wait. Ulysses isn’t on your team?” Yiao said confused, the backstory here is really weird, I’d be confused as well to be honest. 

“REBEL 1” 

“Ulysses is my stepdad.” 

“ACTION”

Told you. 

End of Act 2. 

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Free! S1-S2

Good lord there are really only five English VAs huh 

I appreciate the level of existential dread it takes to sit in a bathtub in a bathing suit 

Apron designers I have some questions!!! Firstly: Whomst?

“Anything has magical properties if you believe hard enough” I love Nagisa

“What can I say, I’m a romantic” so what I’m gathering is that Haru and Rin were small and in love with each other

Update from one minute later: Angry with each other now, I guess? 

That’s right Haru you wear that swimsuit all day!!! But wash it bc that’s not a breathable fabric trust me you’re asking for trouble 

“You only live once so do what you want” Dghdfjghjkhkjdf I can’t believe that Amakata’s contribution to this disciplinary lecture amounts to “yolo”

Makoto really knows how to get Haru to do things he doesn’t want to do all he’s gotta do is whisper “pool” and there he is

“What is wrong with you” I hope that Haru continues to strip to reveal his swimsuit no matter where they are throughout this anime. The doctor’s office. A dog park. The mall. Pls let this be a trope

What the shit is this Arabian nights outro this is a Japanese high school swim anime lmao

There’s a joke to be made about the visual metaphor of Haru needing to quench his thirst in the ending but I’ll refrain 

How do their teachers keep finding out about their trespassing who is telling on these boys

What is Ms. Amakata’s previous job what kind of swim job could possibly be inappropriate to talk about at school

Omg Kou is so thirsty for swim boys and while I can’t really relate I appreciate her enthusiasm 

HARU’S STRIPPING AT THE FISH STORE THEY REALLY COMMITTED TO THE “I’LL SWIM ANYWHERE” TROPE I LOVE IT

“I promised myself that I’d never wear a swimsuit again” omg she was a swimsuit model

So Haru quit swimming because Rin is a sore loser? Suspect and lame

“No, come back, you’ll die!” Makoto is truly the highlight of this show and the friend Haru needs

Haru pls I’m weeping

Amakata: They might approve your request [if you win a swimming competition] 

Haru, already taking off his clothes: LET’S GET TO WORK

“He’s just like us! He’s a guy, but he’s got a girly name!” What kind of dumbass logic for deciding who joins your swim team Nagisa lmao 

“You talk about Haru a lot” Hahaha it’s bad form to bring up other people you admire when you’re flirting Nagisa, Rei is Offended™

Ffdhkdshfkhfkj he hasn’t gotten in the water yet but I’m pretty sure Rei can’t fucking swim

“That would’ve meant admitting defeat, and I’m not adept at that” okay I love Rei too this ensemble cast is so funny

Rei’s so cute omg his small and betrayed “but why” when he can’t float

Is it truly an anime without a rivalry-friendship with blatant homoerotic overtones

Oh wow that’s a weird thing for Rin’s sister to have to watch lmao

“Let the water guide you” “Could you try to be less abstract about this” I’m giggling at Haru just throwing out platitudes and hoping one sticks

“I’ll have you know that I have the constitution of a samurai” Rei you are by far the best part of this show so far

Wait a hot minute what in the hell happened in the ocean why do you have to say it like that Haru

Really if any Haru’s relationships are going to err on the side of romantic it should probably be with Makoto because they’re like actually friends and support each other lmao

I don’t know what’s wilder about this scene Makoto using his trauma to convince Haru to swim relay or the Gaze™ that follows

“You’d be the newlywed couple that gets killed in the first five minutes” HMMMM newlywed couple huh

This episode is soooo cute I love the boys bonding together in starlight

Wow was Rin’s problem with Haru just latent daddy issues all along I completely misread this situation

WAIT WAS RIN’S DAD ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIED ON THE FISHERMAN’S BOAT

“It’s hard to explain, that’s just the way they are” “What’s that supposed to mean” people are gay, Rei

Why do the people on this show have such weird interpersonal relationships do you really need to hold Rin’s ankles for this conversation, Aiichiro

Regardless of her thirst Kou is really the best manager they could ask for

 “I will relish destroying you” okay calm down Swimsuit Sasuke

“This victory means I never have to swim with you again. Ever” were you not the one constantly harassing Haru for competitions???? What’s your problem Rin!!!

Haru looking at Mako like swimming has meaning again I don’t care if this is friendship or romance THAT’S LOVE BITCH

“It’s not that easy in real life huh” a weirdly realistic turn of events

Honestly Haru what a mood I never want anyone to contact me either

God could Mako and Haru’s relationship stop being the cutest in the world? This sleeping in the hallway for Haru to come home will not stand! Thanks

“Why is an amateur like that swimming with them?” BECAUSE THEY’RE NICE AND LIKE EACH OTHER, RIN

THEY WON!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM

“That’s what you’re supposed to say if you arrive early for a date” IWATOBI SWIM TEAM DOUBLE DATE CONFIRMED (as if the outfits were not confirmation enough)

Gfgkfugkfg Rei is so put out Nagisa will not acknowledge his “exsquidsite” pun

This Rin/Haru/Mako dynamic could not be more like Ex-Boyfriend vs. New Boyfriend I’m wheezing 

“Hah, I’m a ninja” REI YOU’RE SO STUPID I LOVE YOU

“I hope he’s okay” Aiichiro is a better pal that Rin deserves this is such a one-sided friendship lmao

AW REI FEELS LEFT OUT OF THE MEMORIES POOR GUY

Is Rei gonna go pick a fight with Rin because I’d kind of be up for that

“I wanted to know what your feelings are towards Haru” Dad Mode Activated you will not hurt Rei’s buddies

“Don’t get in the way. If you do, I will never forgive you,” damn Rei!!! You’re not even his friend but those words packed a wallop

I like that each of these swim team boys has a friend whom they are closest to it’s nice and balanced

“Every single member of this team is irreplacable” LOVE AND SUPPORT!

I can’t tell if Rin invited Rei out to this ominous night meeting as overture of friendship or as a threat

Aiichiro get a new friend!!! You don’t deserve to be treated this way

AHHHHHHHHHHH REI YOU’RE SO GOOD “I feel the exact same way” you empathetic sweetheart <3 

WOW I do NOT approve of this Rin treats everyone like garbage for twelve straight episodes and then they reward this garbage behaviour by giving up Rei’s spot on the team just so Rin can enjoy swimming again??? Boooooo he doesn’t even go to your school

These fuckin flower petals FIND YOURSELF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP HARU

“Come on Matsuoka!” AGAIN, way better friend than Rin deserves 

LET REI IN THE GROUP HUG HE’S THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Well I’m thoroughly confused” ME TOO AMAKATA!!!! HOW DID THIS SOLVE ANYTHING 

Ten seconds into this second series and Mako continues to prove he’s The Best by cuddling cats to keep them warm

“You look good” “Stop patronizing me, damn it!” Rei and Nagisa’s relationship is also really a highlight of this show

“Rin’s far from the obvious choice for Mikoshiba’s replacement” that’s valid Rei, Rin has had a lot of trouble with the concept of being a team player thus far in his Samezuka career

“Just when you thought it was safe to cosplay” it is never safe to cosplay. Just ask all those Sasukes who got arrested

LMAO AT THIS DUMBASS STRIP SHOW IN FRONT OF THEIR SCHOOL

“My triceps are guaranteed to drive you out of your mind” I’M SCREAMIN THESE YOUTHS ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO SOCIETY

“You really gotta stop calling me sir, just drop it okay” “Yes s-eugokay” Beautiful voice acting. Iconic

Oh god please don’t give Haru another rival one was really enough

I never thought I’d say this but that was the most wholesome kidnapping in the world

Rin saying “Life after graduation” in the same tone as one might say “Life after death” is honestly a mood

Sosuke’s only had about five seconds of screen time but I’m gonna guess he’s Rin’s Australian ex-boyfriend

Update: Just his homie from elementary school I guess that’s fair

“So this is what a nationally-ranked swimmer’s build looks like” Aiichiro pls could you check Sosuke out with a little more subtlety 

“He’s the type of rival you can become obsessed with” AHHHHH Rin has been #calledout I think I like Sosuke

Okay you’re allowed to just be friends I’m just saying that runs on the beach in the moonlight are not always the most platonic activity, Haru and Makoto 

Omg Mako’s siblings love Rei I love it!!!!!

FDdkfhkdjhf I was certain Mikoshiba’s little brother would also have the hots for Kou but it’s still funny 

You go Kou judging the muscle contest live your dream

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of Rin’s way” Wow Sosuke that was a HARD 180 chill tf out

Omf I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that Aiichiro and Rin were roommates and it wasn’t just Aiichiro showing up in Rin’s room every night like “hey”

“Preferably ones with wonderful muscles and tight washboard abs!” “Yeah!!” Iwatobi Swim Club pls

Does this mean that the Makoto and Haru go on midnight runs bc Haru is slow as all hell on land lmao

YEAH REI’S TRACK EXPERTISE BECOMING RELEVANT AYYYYY

Omg Nagisa nudging Rei’s shoulder is fucking adorable ahhhhhh

Rei’s plans: Being sad about your personal inadequacies (what a mood)

“Do you really think I’d be dumb enough to fall prey to something so preposterously illogical as love” CALLING IT RIGHT NOW REI’S GONNA FALL IN LOVE

Lmao @ Momo checking out Rin’s cleavage this is truly the weird “all siblings have the same taste in crushes” universe

“I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN REI’S BOYFRIEND” Okay 1) This is stupid but the part of me that actually wants these shows to have a diverse spectrum of sexuality is lured in thanks I hate it, and 2) How dare you Rei’s boyfriend is Nagisa

[Makoto voice] This is a swimtervention 

AHHHHHHH EVERYBODY LOVES REI (AS THEY SHOULD)

I bet Rei’s going to train in his time off because he wants to catch to the boys <3 

Update: He’s getting Rin to teach him finally some helpful friendship times from Rin!!!! Good job

“Which do you think I’d look more swole in” omg who wrote this dialogue

Pls Sosuke don’t use this childhood joke debt as an excuse to be like “Don’t hang out with your old homies anymore”

“I need to sit on it for a little longer, that’s all”

Sosuke, internally, probably: Kiss me

“I want you to think of me as part of your team” FINALLY SOME OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS

Woo woo positive character development for Rin prioritizing friendship over competition this is such a nice turn

Uh oh why is Nagisa lying about his motives for camping has he been kicked out of his house for stripping in public

I grow more and more concerned for Nagisa with every scene

“We said no and we meant it” I can’t believe that Makoto and Haru are Nagisa’s new parents wow 

Well we know who the good cop parent is, Makoto had a conversation with Nagisa and exactly one (1) second later was convinced they had to rescue him

Update from 30 seconds later: I spoke too soon he got Haru too “I’ve decided to let him stay with me” THESE NERDS

But why do you have to unbutton your shirt a little in order to negotiate Rei

“Studying became like some kind of torture” that’s depression honey

This soft glowing light while Rei tells Nagisa to follow his dreams is so sweet but also jdhkjfhkdjh what if his parents are just mean 

These boys are the definition of ride or die they’re in this empty ass pool area still trying to hide their friend behind their backs what absolute best boys are these

“Haru” “I’m sneaky” CUTE!!!! Also good call on not calling mum but on calling Trusted Adult instead

“You can’t quit. I won’t let you” AHHHH THAT’S LOVE!!! REI <3

The matching swimsuit pose god every moment of this show kills me

“We’re a team! If we can’t do it together what’s the point?” WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE MAKOTO AND HARU HAVE BEEN A TEAM LITERALLY SINCE THEY WERE BABIES! PICK UP THE PHONE AND SMELL THE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

“Here, dolphin’s yours” Oh!!! Makoto has also been selfless since birth he just wants Haru to be happy but Haru just wants him to be happy too 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I also like this Matsuoka siblings bonding this is what I wanted from the beginning tbh

Aiichiro you superstitious little nerd

“I want to know what it feels like to kick your ass” what a hard swerve Makoto pls 

“Congratulations, between the two of us you’re still the best in the water, how awesome is that?” “Hah, you’re so weird” I’ve never seen someone so excited to lose Makoto is truly the best boy I love this relationship 

Aw is Makoto jealous of Haru’s relationship with Rin? I 100% buy it but baby!!! You are so good there’s no need to worry

I’m so proud of the Iwatobi boys for qualifying for regionals and also I bet this means that the Samezuka boys will win relay

Update from an ep later: I was correct

“Don’t limit yourself kid” are you not... the same age as him Sosuke???

Working theory is that Makoto wants Haru to care about being scouted so they can go to the same school together and swim there

“I wonder what Haru wants to do after graduation” be a mermaid 

Sosuke really needs to get in touch with his emotions good grief

“But I am sure about one thing, I love it and I don’t want to stop” in all seriousness do people intentionally write these relationships as romantically-charged or is that just something that happens? Like this 100% reads as an allegory for discovering your sexuality

Ahhhh Makoto helping the babies I know I’ve said this a million times in the past few episodes but he’s the best boy

“I haven’t thought about [Kisumi] in who knows how long” Wow does everyone in this show have an ex-boyfriend who suddenly pops up to stir up drama bc it sure seems like it

There’s probably some symbolism in Haru handing off of a boxed lunch 

“But isn’t it... scary?” “Only til it’s not” Oh my goooood I love this swim teaching arc I love Makoto I just!!! HE’S THE BEST

Ahhhh Haru bringing Makoto’s siblings to see him at work this is disgustingly domestic and I love it 

“If he’s competing at the regional level I’m guessing that means they fixed [Sosuke’s shoulder]!” Wow Kisumi was truly just here to inspire some drama omg

Ffgkdfjjkhg this elevator stand-off it’s the Battle of Rin’s Overly Intimate Swim Partners

Oh no Haru is having an anxiety attack yikes but I get it

HARU NO AHHH THIS SUCKS COMPETITIVE SPORTS ARE SO UPSETTING 

Man this was a real traumatizing episode what the fuck Free! You lulled me into a false sense of security how dare you

“We don’t do things for each other. That’s just how we are” Ddfksdjhfkjhfd even Baby Sosuke had a lot of true processing how a friendship should work wow

“I trust him implicitly, he’ll be here” idk homies Haru’s sort of in the middle of an Anxiety Episode those don’t usually go well

“I realize it’s over for me. But before I go, I want swim the best damn relay I can. With you. Today.” Wow Sosuke finally connects with his emotions and proves himself as Good Boyfriend Material in one swing

Is it really a swim meet if Rin doesn’t have a dramatic outdoor confession of feelings with a former rival 

Samezuka you’re adorable but also a health hazard where’s your adult

MY BOYS MADE IT TO NATIONALS I’M GONNA CRY

“Look at Sosuke, being a big cheese ball” CHARACTER GROWTH

“I think I finally found what I was looking for” “Took you long enough” okay this seriously reads like an allegory for coming to terms with your sexuality Sosuke I have so many thoughts

Amakata is such a good teacher she won’t let Haru be slandered

I’m glad the boys are getting some acknowledgement but poor Haru 

“You never hear someone talk about their last summer” TITLE REFERENCE

Wooooooow Sosuke’s really here to tell Haru to keep going just for Rin’s sake this is almost the opposite of their first confrontation but it’s still   about how much Sosuke cares about Rin what kind of single-minded boyfriend antics 

“Why the hell are you so hung up on Rin” LOVE, HARU, LOVE!!

Haru methinks Makoto was about to make an important declaration quit evading your friend/future (she said, hypocritically)

[Makoto voice] Swimtervention: The Sequel

YES MAKOTO GO HELP HARU YOU KNOW HIM BEST

“Why don’t you understand that we love you” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAKOTO #1 BOY MOST IN TOUCH WITH HIS EMOTIONS BEST FRIEND GOOD BOYFRIEND MATERIAL BUT ALSO JUST A WONDERFUL BOY WHO WANTS HARU HAPPY

Okay okay I’m not trying to project romance onto this narrative (that’s a lie I’ve been sold on romance for a while) but like.... fireworks!!! Fireworks going off in the background while they stand in front of each other in silhouette PICK UP THE PHONE ANIMATORS

“You and Makoto had a falling out, huh?” Omg not only does Rin pinpoint Haru’s problem right away he’s also making a direct parallel to him and Sosuke’s relationship my kinda amicable exes 

“It was our first fight” I’M WHEEZING THIS IS LIKE THAT EPISODE OF FRIENDS WHERE CHANDLER EXPERIENCES FIGHTING IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE’S LIKE ‘GUESS WE’RE BROKEN UP’ AND MONICA’S LIKE ‘???? NO?’

Am I supposed to read little Rin telling his host family that Haru had eyes that look like the ocean in a platonic way because.... buddy

God I love Rin’s Australian family they’re so sweet and understanding

Ddfalsfjdskljf EXPLAIN THIS!!!

Russell: So mate, got a girlfriend back home?

Rin: Eummm, long story, or not actually [awkward laughter]

BED SHARING TROPES OH MY GOD!! THEY ARE LEANING INTO THIS PSEUDO-ROMCOM ANGLE EXCEPT THEY’VE BOTH GOT OTHER DUDES IN THEIR LIVES LMAO WHAT WOULD MAKOTO AND SOSUKE THINK

Rin and Haru don’t even wear the same style of swimsuit so lol @ Rin bringing a different suit across the world specifically to make Haru swim in it 

OMG HARU JUST DISCOVERED HIS DREAM I LOVE IT

Aw are Haru and Makoto going to end up separated bc of their different dreams because I’m gonna be very upset

I’m so touched by Makoto’s dream of helping children even if Makoto can’t fully be in the next season because it’s a Haru-centric show I still love him so much 4ever

Hahaha at them recapping the whole show I guess they didn’t know that there would be a third season

“C’mon you two, no more tears” what sweet sobbing boys you’re pulling at my heartstrings 

“We’ll always be a team” HECK YEAH YOU WILL

Yay for Rei getting his own swim hallucination!!!! That’s my boy

Maybe the real swimtervention was inside Haru’s heart all along  😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THEY WON AND HARU’S CRYING HE’S FINALLY LEARNING TO EXPRESS FEELINGS 1000/10 WOULD RECOMMEND 

I knew Nitori would be captain but I’m still so happy for him!!! Baby!!!

“When you decide not to be done, I’ll be waiting” Rin has seen the most character growth of anyone on this show good for him!!

“Why you gotta say my name like that, it sounds weird” I keep telling you that is the sound of love, Harukaaaa <3

I LOVE EVERY PART OF THIS MONTAGE THE FLOWER PETALS THE “I’M IN COLLEGE NOW” GLASSES ON MAKOTO THE DREAMS COMING TRUE

WAIT ARE HARU AND MAKOTO GOING TO COLLEGE TOGETHER I LOVE IT 

I SAID IT BEFORE BUT YOU WIN THIS TIME, SPORTS ANIME. YOU GOT ME. YOU GOT ME REAL GOOD.

[ask-de-writer]

SURPRISE PARTY!

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SURPRISE PARTY!

2896 words : MLP Fan Fiction

Commissioned by ask-the-chan-family

The tale is set in the Alternate Universe of Thomas the Writer.  Celestia wants to throw a surprise party to celebrate the many heroic magical battles that Thomas has fought to save Equestria.  Thomas’ sister Nova, a demon, finds out about the party and sets out to wreck it.

© 2016 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 01/03/16

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.  The commissioner has the right to post it, make copies on or in other mediums and distribute it, so long as it is done without charge.

Tumblr exemption: Blog holding users of Tumblr.com may reblog and post this work provided that the entire title and copyright block remains intact with all links included and is displayed at the head of the work.  

Fan art, cosplay or other fan activity is actively encouraged.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Celestia was looking out from the balcony of the castle at the panorama of Canterlot and Equestria spread out below.  Beside her, her recently added Daughter in Law, Dashie adjusted her glasses and stared out, too.  The view eventually faded out into the purple of distance at the horizon.  The lands and towns between them and the horizon made an impressive vista.

Celestia said quietly, “I love your father, Thomas, Dashie.  I know that a lot of very highly placed ponies were really upset when we got married.”

Dashie nickered her amusement and pointed out, “They would have been upset, no matter WHO you chose! At least, when you picked dad, you got one of the two most powerful wizards of the realm as a husband!”

Celestia nodded, the playful breeze catching her incredible mane of delicate hues.  “That is true, Dashie.  Thomas has been instrumental in saving the Realm many times. You have too, a time or two.  So has De Writer.”

Dashie chuckled at a memory.  “Speaking of De Writer, If he offers it, NEVER take any tea from him!”

“Why not, Dashie?”

“You know that De Writer is a master of traveling to other dimensions, don’t you?”

“Certainly.”

“He found dad a new tea, a while ago. He got it from the bottom of a deep ocean trench.”

Incredulous, Celestia exclaimed, “TEA? From a deep ocean trench?”

“Yes.  He gave it to dad.  Dad brewed a little of it.”

“What happened, Dashie?”

“It grew tentacles that tried to gab dad!  Dad took a sharp knife and chopped them off!  He diced them and fried them up in soy and garlic.  He drank the tea while he ate the fried tentacles.”

“My goodness!”

“Yep.  Now, when he gets hungry for seafood, he just brews up a little of the tea!”

They both laughed at the notion.

Celestia chortled, “That sounds like my Thommy-Wommy!

“He is not really afraid of anything, is he?”

Dashie went serious and cleaned her glasses as she replied, “Not much, I will give you that.  The most important thing is that when he is afraid, he does not run.  He faces it and figures out how to win.  And then he does.”

Celestia nodded slowly.  “That is it. He is a true hero.  That is how he has saved our realm so often.

“I would like to throw a party for him but his birthday is so far off.”

Dashie agreed, “It is, but birthdays are not the only reasons to hold parties!  We could hold one to celebrate his many courageous deeds!”

Celestia grinned as she agreed, “YES! Let’s do it!  A surprise party for my Thommy-Wommy!”

From a corner of the room, behind some drapes a red-eyed shadow chuckled.  “A surprise party for that upstart Thomas?  Perhaps we should make it a family affair.  I must go and tell his sister, Nova about this!”  Count Nogoodny sneaked quietly away as the two mares discussed what the party should be like.

Nova, Thomas’ sister and a daughter to the Demon Queen Aurora, listened carefully to Count Nogoodny’s account.  She was in her common and unthreatening form as an earth pony.  Her ears twitched and her eyes slitted as she thought through Count Nogoodny’s story of the meeting on the balcony.

“Just the party about Thomas’ courage?  Is that ALL that they talked about?”

He grumped, “All that is important! The only other thing that they talked about was De Writer and his crazy teas!  Nonsense about them being dangerous or something!”

Her voice gone deadly calm, Nova asked, “Deadly?”

Nogoodny snorted, “Utterly unbelievable!  One grows tentacles when it is brewed.  That was just an example.  Dashie said that they were all like that, one way or another!”

Nova smiled.  It was the kind of smile that has been known to freeze glaciers solid.

Waking Luna in mid morning is never easy.  She was making it no easier, today!  She hoofed a big fluffy pillow over her ears, clamped her eyes shut and snapped, “Whatever you want, NO!  I want to sleep!”

Celestia was about to say more when Dashie snickered, “NO to whatever we want?  Great!  We want you to sleep!”

Luna stuck her royal head out of the pile of blankets and demanded, “What is it you want, smart ass?”

Dashie gestured for silence to Celestia.  “We want to hold a party for Thomas!  Everybody knows that you are the best cook in Equestria.  We are going to want a big cake, maybe several tiers, with frosting figures to show dad’s famous exploits in saving the Kingdom.”

Luna’s curiosity piqued, and the flattery (which was true) about her cooking, she started to think. Eyes squinted in concentration, she pointed out, “It would have been good to have a few days to prepare for this.  Still … OK, I’ll do it.”

Celestia smiled, “Great!  I knew that we could count on you, Sis!”

Dashie nodded, “Right.  Luna, we know that Nova is in the castle.  Be sure to keep her out of the kitchen while you are working!”

Luna chuckled.  “De Writer is almost as dangerous!  He and Thomas are almost inseparable.  He likes to bring his tea to events.  I have never heard of one of those teas that is really safe!”

Dashie nodded ruefully.  “I know. How well I know!”

With Luna now busy in the kitchen and some castle staff busy preparing one of the ballrooms for the party, Celestia and Dashie were relaxing in her royal quarters.  There was a knock at the door.  Before they could answer it, the doors were pushed open and a familiar earth pony mare trotted right in!

Her eyes slitted in suspicion, Dashie demanded, “What are you doing here, Nova?”

“I was told that you are having a party for my brother!  I came to help!”

Celestia’s delicate seeming but very strong magic grabbed the demon pony and swept her out through the tall window-doors to the balcony.  Nova was dangled head down over the abyss.

Dashie trotted out to the balcony and said brightly, “We all know that IF YOU MAKE A PROMISE, you will keep it, Nova.”

Celestia said with a grim tone, “I suggest that you promise that you will do nothing to mess up this party!”

Nova, looking down and swallowing hard, exclaimed, “Would I do that?  He is my brother!”

Dashie interposed instantly, “It has never stopped you before!  We all know that you have trouble with heights and that if we drop you, you will just switch to demon form and fly back here.  You won’t get hurt but you WILL get airsick. Shall I go get towels to clean up after you barf?”

Nova sourly snarled, “All right!  I PROMISE that I won’t do anything to mess up your precious party!”

Celestia nodded, “Good enough!” Her magic brought Nova back to the balcony.  Dashie had towels ready. Nova’s weak stomach about heights let go.  It was mopped up in moments.

Looking puzzled, Nova asked, “Why didn’t you have a servant clean it up?”

Dashie flexed her wings a little as she replied, “Gossip.  Servants gossip.  Why embarrass you further? You made your promise.  I know that you will keep it.

“Why don’t you go and assist with setting up the ballroom for the party?”

Pretending to be defeated, Nova slunk from the chamber.  Inside, she was exulting, “I did it.  I got away with it! I won’t be the one to mess up this party!”

She cornered Count Nogoodny and said sweetly, “If you really want to get on Celestia’s good side, carry a message to De Writer.  He should bring his best tea to the party!”

The Count grumped, “What am I?  A mere messenger?”

Nova smiled viciously as she said, “Well, you don’t HAVE to!  You could ignore it and be blamed for the lack of De Writer’s famous tea at the party.  I am SURE that Celestia will look kindly on such an omission at a party for her chosen consort!”

She giggled as the Count left, double time.

Soon the Count was searching the apparently blind ally where he knew that De Writer’s hidden magic shop was.

He finally found the concealed entrance and managed to get in.  He petulantly demanded, “Why don’t you make it easier for your clients?”

The elderly blue unicorn with a white beard, who was reputed to be one of the two most powerful wizards in Equestria, chuckled.  “I would expect that to be obvious!  I don’t WANT clients who give up that easily!  Don’t really want ANY clients. I am plenty wealthy as it is.”

“Then why bother with a shop at all?”

“So that when I AM NEEDED, I can be found!  Are you really as thick as that brick wall?”

“I have a good mind not to give you my message!”

Skeptically, the old unicorn snorted, “I am glad to hear that your mind is good for something!  I was beginning to wonder!”

“The message is that Celestia is throwing a surprise party for Thomas.  She wants you to bring along your best tea for it!”

“Oh, is that all?  No problem.  Thank you.  Your message is delivered.  You may go.”

“And if I demand to see this tea?”

“I will refuse.”

“I am a Count of the Realm!”

A fading voice said, “Then you are needed elsewhere!”

Looking about frantically, the Count found himself back in the castle.  In a toilet.  Lifting his hooves and stepping out of the water in the bowl, he snarled, “Not even good will with Celestia is worth this!”

Celestia and Dashie, meanwhile, had located Sunrise, Celestia’s son by Thomas, in the Royal Library.  The young Alicorn tried to ignore them by reading intently.  He was surrounded by a near fort of books.  Dashie, knowing readers well, began to read over his shoulder.  And giggling.

Irritated, Sunrise demanded, “Don’t you know that is rude?  Why are you giggling at Snarkevan’s History?”

Dashie batted her eyelashes at him and retorted, “Of course ignoring your mother is polite!  Certainly I knew it was rude.  It also got your attention.

“As for giggling at Snarkevan, most of what he wrote was pure garp.”

Celestia nodded sadly, “She is right, Sunrise.  I was there when those things happened.  So was Luna.  If you want to study history, we have perfect memories.  Ask us or check facts with us.

“Now, we have a different and, I hope, fun task for you.  We are throwing a surprise party for your father this evening.  What we want is for you to go to his bookstore and keep him away from the castle until this evening.  Lure him up in the evening by telling him the truth.  Not about the party, but that Luna is cooking dinner for him.”

Sunrise’s eyes lighted up.  “Thomas’s little book shop?  The one that always has the books that you need? Thank you, Mom!  I won’t let you down!”  He vanished with a clatter of hooves.

He caught Thomas just locking up his little book shop.  “Hi, Dad!  Where are you going?”

“Hi, Sunrise!  I going  to castle for lunch.”

Sunrise pulled his lips back in distaste and made a gagging noise.  “Actually, Dad, that is why I’m here.  They are making their … ack! … Best sushi!”

Thomas blinked about three times.  “You have save my life, sort of.  That five stomach pump sushi!  And one more thing.  We go De Writer’s shop.  He always have something good.”

They trotted down two streets and over one.  They strolled into the small blind alley of brick walls with no doors or windows showing.

Thomas knocked politely and a section of brick faded, turning into a door.  Sunrise pushed the door open and held it for his father to enter.  Thomas expected what he saw. Sunrise was surprised.  De Writer was just finishing setting his table for three.  There were inviting smells arising from under the domed heat covers on the plates.

De Writer had a tall glass filled with a butterscotch milkshake.  There was a pot of hot water and a teacup set out for Thomas, along with a strange looking tea thimble.  It had strong looking bars instead of the usual thin metal with small holes in it.  Sunrise was pleased and relieved to note that his place had a chocolate milk shake as big as De Writer’s.

With a grin, De Writer offered, “Thomas!  Sunrise!  What a surprise!  I heard that you were saved from castle sushi!  My teas are safer that that!”  

Thomas promptly poured his hot water over the tea thimble in his cup!  It began to bounce about in the cup, emitting snarling noises.  The bars held and soon the tea settled down to a quiet brown brew.  Thomas sipped appreciatively. His uncovered plate revealed a big freshly made Alfalfa Steak with Sea Grass puffs along side.  There was a soy and garlic dipping sauce to go with the puffs.  

Sunrise uncovered a plate filled with a simply huge Clover Top burger and an enormous pile of large, thick onion rings.  It had a well with a honey and mustard dipping sauce too!

De Writer’s plate had a big slice of Clover and sweet grass loaf dripping with a rich brown gravy.

They all fell to, happily munching away.  There was no conversation.  It is rude to talk with your mouth full!

As they were mopping up the remains, it hit Sunrise.  “How did you know that we were coming?”

The old unicorn grinned.  “One, I am one of the two most powerful wizards in Equestria.  Two, I heard about the castle making sushi and I knew at once that Thomas would not be there!”

Sunrise thought for a second and pointed out, “What about me?  How could you know about me?”

With a whicker of amusement, Thomas answered, “See De Writer point one!  And one more thing!  More tea, please?”

“Sure thing, Thomas!  This was Wild Mountain leaf and BEARies.  The Bear side of it needs to be contained until the tea brews!”  He reloaded the thimble with more of the tea, which had wrinkled, dried berries in in it.

They all watched the thimble bounce and growl with amusement.  As Thomas leaned back after his second cup, Sunrise offered, “Celestia told me to tell you that Luna will be cooking dinner.”

Both Thomas and De Writer’s eyes lit up at the thought of Luna’s famous cooking.

It was not long before it was time to go.  The Mahjongg game got put aside.  (Thomas was ahead.)  De Writer disappeared into the depths of his shop and returned, carefully stowing a package in his saddlebag.

They all three trooped up to the castle’s main gate.  The guards, recognizing them, let them in without any difficulty.  They headed through the sumptuous halls toward the dining room.

Nova intercepted them.  Instantly wary, Thomas demanded, “Nova!  What you do here?”

Sourly she replied, “Nothing! Sunbutt made me promise not to mess up tonight.  Follow me.  Dinner is over here.”

Thomas skeptically asked, “How she manage that?”

“She dangled me upside down over the drop down to the plains!”

She led them to the big Ballroom.

As they entered the room, the red-eyed Count Nogoodny came to De Writer and demanded, “Did you remember to bring it?”

De Writer nodded as if he had been addressed politely.  “I did.  Here.  You need to measure it into the cups before you add the hot water.”

The Count snatched the package and snapped, “I know how to make tea!”

The group turned away from the minor drama at the sudden yells of “SURPRISE!  Thomas, this party is to thank you for the many times that you have done heroic things to save the country!”

De Writer heard a small clank!  It was followed by the sound of the small catches of a serving urn lid being locked.

Luna was standing proudly by a huge three tiered cake set about with scenes in frosting from many of Thomas’ famous magical battles to keep Equestria safe.

Through the gaps between the layers, De Writers saw a BIG urn of hot water.  The Count was just securing the last catch on  the lid!

With a rumble like an unhappy volcano, the urn suddenly erupted!  The force of the blast hurled the big cake into the air!  It was tumbling toward Thomas!  De Writer’s magic reached out and smashed the cake away, breaking it into a hundred pieces!

Thomas saw Nova’s expression of glee! He did not know how but he did know that his sister was behind the disaster somehow!  His magic snagged all the serving plates and caught a nice chunk of cake on each one!  They all sailed to the surprised guests who grabbed their plates already served!  

All except Nova.  Somehow, her plate arrived empty!  As she was grabbing it, a great big glob of cake, loaded with three flavors of frosting landed on her head!

Thomas grinned as he said, “Oops!”

Nova furiously wiped at her head, some of Luna’s cake and frosting getting into her mouth.  Suddenly she began to laugh.

“At least it is a really good cake!”

The whole rest of the Royal Court, thinking that it was a planned part of the entertainment for the night, joined her in laughter.

~THE END~

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[goddamnitaisha]

Please list your top 5-10 would-bang characters, possibly segmented by gender/sex if it makes sense to, in descending order. I need to know how similar we are. :D

I’m laughing SO HARD because we probably are similar. I mean, @lilly-white​ has such good taste. I will immediately answer this question. 

Usually, if it has silver hair I probably want to bang it. 

Lastly…. Okay, yes, now the list. No actually, I’ll place the list at the top of this answer and then place all the TMI/too-much-information text under a readmore.

.

                                           T H E   L I S T

Iason (Ai no Kusabi) King of all Seme characters. Since this list is just about banging characters, I have to put him on top. 

Sephiroth - (FF7) my interpretation of him post-Nibelheim: a sane, arrogant, brilliant god and wreck of a person.

Lotor -  (Voltron Legendary Defender) See how high he is on my list? I have him in my ‘to cosplay’ list with not his name but with the text: “I HAVE SUCH A TYPE”. There is nothing about him that I don’t love.

Orochimaru (Naruto) His voice, his arrogance, the cheekbones, and the things he could do with that long tongue. 

Uchiha Itachi / Sasuke / Madara (Naruto) I’ve been trying to choose between these three for 10 years now) (I like the artwork interpretation of the Japanese fan-artist ‘Lily’ best.) 

^That is my hard-bargained top 5 in that order.  Now comes the rest. I still love them tons and tons, but not as much as the ones up ^there. 

Kisame (Naruto) (japanse voice actor) Terrifying face/reputation/fighting methods since he has no qualms with sawing someone’s legs off. But he would make the perfect father of a child. He is muscled, chatty, caring, thoughtful, loyal, sweet, protective and reliable. If I could bang him, I would not prick but punch holes in the condoms.

Skulduggery Pleasant (books by Derek Landy) ASREON DONT JUDGE ME. He is funny, powerful, reliable, cuttroat and has this dark edge that I really dig. 

Loki (as portrayed by Tom Hiddleston) Anywhere in the timeline after he arrived on Earth. I like him under Thanos control, as I like him as ‘shit annoying little brother’. I like it when he is smug: “It buuurns, doesn’t it?” (Avengers) and when he is indignant: “We are not doing ‘get help’.” (Thor: Ragnarok) yet still plays along in the end. 

Oikawa (Haikyuu) because his killer volleyball serve is too sexy, as are his mood switches and his I’m gonna fuck you up-grin. He get to me every time. (Kageyama is also somewhat a fave.)

Lord Carden - Bloodlines (Character from my needs-a-rewrite novel series, Bloodlines. Yes, I want to bang an OC, but in my defence, Lilly also once mentioned wanting to bang him. My friend Jack did too. He is a mix between Iason and Kisame: cutthroat and sexy but best dad.)

Embarrassing TMI & disclaimers & characters that didn’t make the list, are all under the cut!

Disclaimers:

The order listed below is from top(best)-down(last) and always subject to change depending on my mood and fandoms. 

These are characters I would want to bang - not the ones I would sign up to spend the rest of my life with (in most cases that’d be an awfully short life).

I may change this list if anyone brings in better suggestions. 

I can’t decide whether I want to sleep with these people, or want to be these people (role models).  

TMI 

I’m still in the process of trying to figure myself out. I have lived my life as a loner or as a quiet follower (because speaking up was often discouraged in my social circles). 

BUT

My younger brother recently pointed out to me that in almost every relationship there is a leader (the person who initiates plans and decides what and how) and a follower-guardian (who protects the leader from doing anything stupid, this person says “that’s not a good idea” and when they put their foot down it’s DOWN and the leader can do nothing but respect it.)

My brother told me that I’m a leader type: the person that initiates wild adventures. Not the follower-guardian. So OKAY, I’m a leader who thinks she is a follower? I don’t know if I’m sub or dom. 

There is this quote I’m trying to remember, said by either a gay guy or a powerful motherly woman who helps the girl-protagonist. An american production. Intonation is kind. Couldn’t find it with google. Goes something like this: 

“People won’t know whether they want to hate(/fight?) you, want to fuck (/sleep with) you or if they want to be you~

That’s the quote I want to put in here. 

What I usually fall for in a character:

Most of the characters I want to bang are calm, self-assured, don’t get worried fast, and are good at what they do. They firmly hold to a certain view of life. They can hold their own in a discussion. They are NEVER lazy, they are hardworking. They never have a nihilistic approach to life, they want to gain all they can get. They have an arrogance that tastes like honey to me. That cheeky, taunting, unimpressed, underhanded, self-assured, i-know-I’m-right, tone is a drug to me. Some examples are: - “Are you sure about that?” and - “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” and - “Is that the best you can do, Cloud?” and - “Foolish little brother, you’re not strong enough, ku ku ku…” That degrading tone that puts me on my place and him on a pedestal…! Yes, I find that finger-licking attractive. 

But I can never figure out if those tones appeal so much to me because they are spoken from a leader perspective as if to discipline a pet, or from a follower/guardian perspective that calmly undermines the leader’s bad idea. (”Sure Mr. King if you want to follow that route… but I’ll stay here and wait until you come back”)

My current running theory is that I’m a leader who thinks she’s a follower? I’ve not levelled up enough in life to decide where I am as a sexual partner as sub or dom or switch. I’ve been a service top/service dom to 2/3rds of my partners and in the 1/3rd of the occasions I did enjoy being sub but maybe that’s because I prioritised myself there. Usually I focus on my partner and aaaah I’m rambling RAMBLE RAMBLE. tl:dr; I need to get laaaid and figure this ouuuut with a person I truuuust.

Characters that didn’t make the list, but which I wish I could include somewhere in a top 30 are these listed below. You can tell by the bolded font which names I took out of my top 10.  

Maleficent (Angelina Jolie)

Cersei (Lena from Game of Thones)

Icy (Winx Club season 1)

Wonder Woman (as portrayed by Gal Gadot) because she’s a perfect. Marvel Studios gave me a female hero and a female superhuman but they did not give me a female superhero. DC did. I’m such a fan of her.

Lestat

Mai Valentine (Yu-Gi-Oh. But that says little,  I’ve had crushes on almost the entire cast. Mainly Seto Kaiba and Yami-Yugi.)

Victor (Yuri-on-Ice) when he wasn’t shown as a person with feelings but still had his idol status.

Riddick - but then again, who wouldn’t do Vin Diesel as Riddick? Especially the second movie.

Aranea (FF15) She was wonderful as a character but I am still salty she was a bit of a disappointment in the narrative, I expected she would be more involved in the narrative of the game.

V (from V for Vendetta the movie) - again the humour, dark past, power, reliability. I fall in love with him every time I watch the film. But I don’t know if I would do him with his mask off? I like the grandiose idea of him.

I’m going to risk burn marks and put Azula (Avatar series) on here.

Tahno (Avatar Korra series)

Suitengu (Speed Grapher) LYRA YOU MUST WATCH THIS. LISTEN TO LILLY. AND TO ME. WATCH IIIIIIT.

Rufus Shinra - (FF7 ACC)The smug remarks, power, face, count me in.

Pitch (Rise of the Guardians)Light (Death Note manga)  

I will always love Riku (Kingdom Hearts) But since he’s so dear to me and part of a franchise for children, I don’t want to think about having sex with him but I totally want to. It’s a grey area. I like him especially when he is lost in darkness and arrogant. But honestly, I really like him in all timelines. I was not ready for KH3′s version. I will always love Riku.

Last notes:

To summarize, I like murder + power + strong worldview + smug undermining comments + smirks.

I think it is curious that I only listed male characters in my top 10. It seems that I am not as bisexual as I thought, or that modern media fails in adequate female gender representation. I could not have been offered enough female characters of the Wonder Woman quality. Now I’ll post this answer before something glitches and I lose all I typed. 

Hope you liked this!

[thedogsled]

Coda 13x05: A Nurse, Stripper Barbie & A Bottle of Jack

This place was nicer than the usual kind of dive they stayed in. Sammy pulling out all the stops, no doubt; a hotel with twin beds and regular manual doors dressed up as something flashier, as though to show just how pointless a facade was when it was all a goddamn lie. It was a joke, really, his brother trying his best to make him feel good, stretching the limits of Dean’s ability to cope with any of it.

This wasn’t how he usually dealt with grief. He needed space. He needed to be alone. Maybe right now it didn’t feel like he’d ever be better, but when did it ever?

But this was different. Dean knew it. Nothing he did seemed to work. No amount of beer or junk food or time was getting Dean any closer to a feeling that soon the grief might come to an end. It felt neverending.

(tw for mention of suicide, also vague mention of strippers and body parts thus PG-13, unrequited Destiel and a BONUS CHRISTMAS SCENE)

Read on AO3 here and read my other codas here

Maybe it was his fault. He hadn’t even named it. He’d avoiding speaking it out loud for fear of making the feelings true. Every time he mentioned Cas it came on the back of something else, but it was what went unspoken which was tearing him up the most.

And Sam should know. Of anyone Sam should know. Dean kept expecting Sam to ask him, kept expecting Sam to make him confront it, because if Sam told him he loved Cas then Dean wouldn’t have to be the one to admit it; wouldn’t have to admit out loud that maybe he was into guys as well as girls.

God, he was so ashamed. But what was the point now? Cas was gone, and with him went any hope of Dean exploring that side of himself. Would he tell Castiel that he loved him if he saw him now? Would he be too ashamed, still, even in the face of death and parting?

It didn’t matter. Cas was never coming back. And part of Dean, the part he’d always hidden away, the part of him that was really the all of him…it went away too.

Dean could never be himself, and now Cas was gone why would he ever want to be? The world was empty and pointless without him.

In the bed opposite Sam snored loudly. Dean turned his attention away from the boring ass ceiling to look at his brother. Sam was trying so hard, damn him. He always tried so hard, and Dean knew he was only bringing him down. Maybe if Dean wasn’t in the picture Sam would have saved Mom already. That was what he and that shapeshifter Mia thought, wasn’t it? Dean was poison. He’d always been poison…

Poison that wasn’t getting a damn lick of sleep.

Dean sighed, sitting up, leaning across to dig in his bag. No extra bottle of Jack Daniels. Nothing in his flask – he’d already emptied it. Short of stabbing himself with the shot in his hunting bag, he had nothing on him that could possibly put him to sleep, quieten the thoughts in his head, or the last image he’d had of Castiel’s blue eyes before his grace burned the life out of them.

Sometimes when people experienced trauma they couldn’t put it out of their minds. Dean was like that, and he’d seen a lot of traumatic things. God only knew how many times he’d drawn Mary on fire as a child. John had been so traumatized by them in turn that making sure Dean didn’t have access to crayons was one of the few priorities he had in life.

He’d never really bothered learning to draw after that.

Sam snored and rolled over, exposing a slither of his spine as his t-shirt rolled up. Dean frowned at it. What was it Sam had suggested earlier? A strip club? Not perfect, but at least they sold alcohol. Better than lying here staring into oblivion stone cold sober.

He rolled out of bed, still fully dressed, and crept out.

-----

This was the worst Christmas ever.

Sam scowled, staring at the back of his brother’s shoes as they made their way into the strip joint. He kicked at the step as they went in, but almost ended up tripping over his own feet instead. It was anything but smooth.

“What’s wrong, Sam? How old are you, exactly? C’mon. Live a little.”

Sam glowered. To think he’d let Dean drag him away from face time with Eileen for this. He was – he thought – doing pretty decently at getting to know her, a real woman, but Dean wasn’t thinking about any of that. He cared, Sam knew, even ribbed him about it sometimes, but… Well, Dean was Dean. This was how he liked to have fun.

Not just the naked chicks part, oh no, but certainly the part where he got to watch Sam squirm as well. Sam expected it. Christmas or not, he knew his brother, and he could already tell that this was going to be some fresh kind of hell.

He wasn’t disappointed.

Her name was Yasmine--until it wasn’t. At about the one minute mark she admitted that in fact her name was Annabella-Louise. When Sam asked her why she’d chosen stripping, Dean admonished him, but Annabella-Louise smiled and said that she got that question all the time, before telling the sad story of how she’d dropped out of nursing school because it was too expensive to rent near the university.

Sam, bleeding heart that he was, spent the rest of the dance giving her ideas about where she could find a roommate, and not to give up on her dream when she was only a few credits away.

Well, it wasn’t like she was the only one who’d given up on her academic dream, was it?

Sam was barely even flustered by the time the dance was over, and Dean rolled his eyes.

“You really ruined that for me, man, you know that?”

“Ruined it for you?”

“Yeah. What a waste of thirty bucks. You suck, Sammy.”

-----

It was already late when Dean got to the club. Fortunately he made it just in time for happy hour, and arranged half a dozen half price drinks in front of him like a chorus line.

Half an hour later, the chorus line was a duet, and Dean was finally starting to feel numb enough to deal. He folded his arms on the bar and dropped his chin on top of them, staring at his empties, barely noticing as a woman swayed up to the bar to join him.

“Just a water, sugah.”

A hand fell on his shoulder, slight and feminine.

“You okay, darlin’? Hey…”

Dean lifted his head slowly, blinking up into the glittery blue eyeshadow of the woman who’d joined him. She was one of the dancers, no doubt, dressed in star spangled pink, white and red like Stripper Barbie. Her blonde hair was chalked with pink as well, and thrown back in tousled curls away from her face.

She was gorgeous. Dean just wished he was even vaguely interested. Right now the hurt in his chest, though dulled, was almost all he could comprehend.

“You hurtin’?”

“How can you tell?”

“Oh sugar, I can tell. You don’t do this job for long before you figure out how to tell if a guy’s hurtin’.”

Dean rubbed his mouth on his arm. “Sounds like psychic mojo to me.”

“Last thing anyone wants to be around here is psychic. But hey—“ she stroked his shoulder firmly. “Point is I can help with that.”

“You think.”

Stripper Barbie sighed. “Your hurt goes pretty deep, don’t it?”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Dean answered, dryly.

“Doesn’t matter. I can take the edge off. C’mon. I’m on next. You can sit up front.”

Dean sighed, waving his hand, but the woman caught it, smiling, and tugged him to his feet. Dean cooperated miserably, following as she led him across the room.

When he dropped into the seat beside the stage, his two remaining beers miraculously reappeared in front of him.

“It’s Toni, by the way.”

“Tony’s a boy’s name.”

“Yeah, but it’s better than ‘Stripper Barbie’.”

Jesus, had he said that out loud? He didn’t remember speaking.

Toni-not-a-boy’s-name reappeared on stage to “American Woman” and the other patrons screeched and yelled as she strutted her stuff. Dean sat quiet, sedate, watching, and smiled when her attention unerringly came back in his direction.

She was gorgeous, but his heart was still broken. There was no getting away how empty he felt inside, and at this point Dean knew better that sex wasn't the answer. Sex wasn't going to fill this hole--maybe ever again.

Even death had to be better than this emptiness. If it came, he wouldn’t fight, but damn it, he wasn’t suicidal. He wasn’t. That implied he wanted to end himself, and Dean still strongly believed that wasn’t an option.

In the line of duty, though?

In the line of duty. That was the noble sacrifice. The only thing he knew.

Toni crouched down in front of him, wrapping her bra around his neck like a collar. She was right in his face for a moment, her breasts inches from his nose, but Dean watched only her blue eyes and felt sadder still, emptier still.

This had been a mistake. He’d always known it was a mistake, but now it just felt even more like one. It was too late to get away from it now, though. A group of four men at the nearest table who’d been hooting at Toni gravitated toward him when the dance ended. They had their work ties bound around their heads like they were all badly cosplaying the Karate Kid, but Dean discovered swiftly enough that they were guys who had ditched their high school reunion because it was too boring. After claiming to recognize him from their school days, they threw their arms around his shoulders and celebrated him as their hero.

Dean snapped his guard up, felt the façade of boisterous masculinity slot into place in order to survive in the wild. At some point he managed to pretend that he was having fun, even as Toni – in her new dominatrix outfit – writhed all over him in a dance paid for him by his new ‘friends’.

God knew when he drove home he was far from in his right mind, and the underground parking at the hotel almost put Dean and Baby out of their misery once and for all.

Thank God for valet parking. Thank God for Sam sleeping like the dead once in a while. Thank God for the bottle of Jack that Sam had hidden in his bag, presumably intending it as some kind of well-meaning gift to indulge his alcoholic brother.

And all along Dean knew - he knew - that he couldn't carry on like this. Their Dad had, and look what it had done to them--look what it had done to him. Just like it had taken dying for John to tell him that he was proud, Dean couldn't speak about his feelings either.

Not while it still mattered.

Not to the person who needed to hear it.

What a fucking joke.

[resplendentgoldenwings]

All That Remains, Chapter 11

Part 1:In the Beginning, Chapter 11: Gather Them Close

rating: teen

characters/relationships: Iris West, Henry Allen, Joe West, Wally West, Francine West,Linda Park, Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramone, WestAllen

summary/introduction: Iris turns to Malcolm in a moment of desperation

betad: by asexual-fandom-queen

warnings: talk of abortion

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter  10

Gather Them Close

Iris' sweat dampened dress clung to her skin, sticky with humidity, her dark hair curling where sweat dampened her edges. She had over two months of new growth, maybe now was a good time to grow out her relaxer.

The wind, gusted warm then drying her sweat for a just a moment and whistling through the leaves of the trees. The late August trees were green and full some heavy with flowers, willows bending under the weight of their branches, the chirp of crickets and cicadas filled the air, along with birdsong, but it was quiet other than that a strange, solemn humanless world.  

The sounds of the city, cars, people they were distant here. She supposed that made sense.

Iris hadn't been to the cemetery since the burial. She'd thought of going more than once, but had been far too drained. Now she faced Barry's grave with a mixture of guilt and hope.   

People talked about feeling close to their lost loved ones, feeling their presence, their spirit. So far she hadn't felt Barry's presence or spirit anywhere. He would come to her if he could, she knew that much. Maybe he couldn't come to her at their apartments, but if he still had a spirit that she could feel it would be here. She stood studying his tombstone, roses in hand, sonogram in her purse and waited.  

An ash old and broad stood a few feet away from the Allen plot, its branches fanning out to shade Nora and Barry's graves, and a plot reserved for Henry.

'Barry Allen, beloved son, and fiance, the only time he was ever early.' She leaned down to spread the roses on his grave, and Nora's tombstone caught her attention as she straightened up. A fine coating of dust covered the top of it, and Iris frowned. Even though she was there for Barry Iris took a moment to wipe to dust of Nora's tombstone and lay one of the flowers for her.   

She remembered Nora Allen, vaguely. A kind, compassionate woman, cheerful, but she could be stern too, and Iris had secretly found herself waiting to see if the woman's red-headed temper would come out. If it had, it had never been in her presence.  

"Nora you raised an amazing son. I love him with all my heart," She sighed. "I wish I could've gotten to know you better, had you for a mother-in-law."

Iris ran her hand over the sun-warmed marble, fingers lingering on the date. Nora had died so you. She said a silent prayer for Nora and turned her attention to Barry, the reason for her visit.   

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Barry. I miss you every day at every meal, when I watch tv, when I hear about a scientific study or breakthrough on the news I still tell myself to ask you about it. They released a trailer for the new Star Trek movie. I was gonna let you talk me into going to the premier and maybe even let you convince me to cosplay as Spock and Uhura this time.  You know I always let you drag me to that stuff, but I secretly liked them, now who am I gonna go with?" Iris waited and felt a lump form in her throat when she got no sense of Barry's presence. "I don't understand Barry; you're the Flash how could you die in a house fire? It doesn't make sense."   

Still nothing. She squeezed her hands into fists for a moment and forced herself to continue.  

"I'm pregnant Barry, and I don’t know what to do. Caitlin thinks it was probably around May 12th, the night you proposed. I know we used protection, but here I am pregnant and by myself."   

She fished the sonogram out of her purse.  

"We're having twins Barry, they're fraternal, so it could be a boy and a girl." For the first time since Caitlin confirmed her pregnancy, Iris smiled just a little bit and held up the sonogram. "They look like little aliens."   

Iris waited her smile faded.   

"Alright, Barry I know you would come to if you could. So that means you can't." She put the wrinkled sonogram in her purse. "Maybe we're just so much meat, and chemicals no soul. Maybe none of this matters anyway."  

Iris turned on her heel.

There was nothing here, no comfort or peace for her no matter how quiet and peaceful it seemed. Nothing, but a corpse cold in the earth and a pile of dirt. She could call her mother, make that appointment at Planned Parenthood. At that moment the wind stirred whipping her hair into a stream flowing back behind her and tearing the sonogram out of her hand. Without thinking she went after the little piece paper as it fluttered to land on Nora's grave. She bent to retrieve, and it and a feeling of warmth, love, and concern strong enough to push forth happy tears flooded her.

"Okay, Barry, okay."  

The West house was redolent with the wonderful the fragrance good food cooking. Onion, garlic, and rosemary were heavy in the air while the warm, sweet scent of baking brownies rose to slowly overpower the savory fragrance of dinner.  

"Iris have a seat. I'll keep an eye on this."  

"Thanks."  

Henry took over stirring the mashed potatoes, and Iris sat down at the kitchen table. Her stomach had stayed calm and let her cook, something she was grateful for. She wouldn't have been able to cook otherwise.  

"I need to ask you something."  

"What's going on?"  

"Did you know-" She took a deep breath. "Did you know that  Barry was The Flash?"  

"Yeah," Henry said after a moment. "He told me about a week after he woke up."  

"Oh." She looked down at the table for a moment. "Do you- do you know why he didn't tell me?"  

"I think these are done." Henry turned the stove off. "You guys had just gotten together; he didn't want to jeopardize the relationship."  

"But I wouldn’t have-"   

"-I know, and I told him that." Henry sat down, closed a hand over hers. "Listen, Iris; it wasn't just that. Barry had enemies."  

"Henry my dad is a cop-"  

"-It's not the same. That man Professor Wells, he wasn't what he seemed. He was a bad guy. He's the man who killed Nora."  

Iris felt her eyes go wide and then she listened while Henry told her the story of Barry, The Flash, and the Reverse Flash.  

"So this man came back from the future and killed Barry's mom before he'd even become The Flash." She stared at Henry, confounded by the very idea. "He came to the past to try and harm a little boy, and when he couldn't hurt that little boy he went after Nora?" Iris could hear an edge of hysteria in her voice.

"Dr. Wells- Eobard Thawne he's dead Iris."

She nodded and ran a hand through her hair, and the other hand drifted to her stomach. The feeling of wrongness that had been with her since she'd gone running to Henry's house the night of the fire flared into life again.  

"Barry has enemies?"  

"Yeah."  

"Henry do you think-"  

"Hey!" The kitchen door swung open then, and Wally strolled in eyes widening as he took in the scene in the kitchen. "This all looks and smells great."  

Wally smiled that bright grin of his and the shadow that had fallen over her retreated.   

"I'm so glad you're here sis'."  

He pulled her up into a hug, and she felt her all of her baby brother's love and devotion in his embrace, but it wasn't enough to reach the fear and worry blooming in her heart.  

The West house soon filled with guests, Wally, Linda, Joe, and Francine, along with Caitlin and Cisco. As much as she had been hiding in her apartment, avoiding the world it was good to see her childhood home filled with friends and family, get heartfelt hugs and wishes from people who truly cared about her and would care for the twins. It was good to see their friendly faces around the dining table while they ate and talked and laughed.   

Had she been doing it wrong, burying herself in grief rather than surrounding herself with love?  

Wally talked about school, Francine discussed the conference she'd been asked to speak at, Linda was full of sports talk, and Cisco was thinking of starting a tech business.  

When they'd finished eating Joe made Wally help him clear the table.   

Iris stood as they finished.  

"Dad, Wally don't bring the dessert yet I have an announcement."   

Joe and Wally returned to their seats, and all eyes went to her.  

"I'm so glad I invited all of you over. This is the best I've felt, since well-" Her grief stirred, and Joe took her hand giving it an affectionate squeeze.  

"Take your time sweetie."  

"Thanks, dad." She squeezed his hand back. "I feel so loved right now, which is good because I'll be needing all of you in the coming months. A few days ago Caitlin confirmed that I'm pregnant with twins, just a little over two-"  

"You're pregnant!" Henry stared at her gray eyes as clear and bright as she'd seen them since the fire.   

She nodded.  

"With twins?"  

"Yes, Henry."  

"Iris, oh my god." Henry was on his feet and coming around the table to catch her in a hug that lifted her off her feet.  

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."  He held her for a long moment radiating happiness.

When Henry sat her on her feet, it was Joe's turn to hug her.  

"So you’re moving back in the right?"  

"Yes, dad," Iris said ruefully.

"Iris this is great." Wally was grinning from ear-to-ear. "I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say you can count on all of us to help."  

"Yes, mhmm." Echoed around the table.   

"You know," Joe eyed everyone in the room. "None of you women seem all that surprised."   

"Well, I'm the doctor." Caitlin volunteered with that slight smile of hers.  

"And I'm her best friend and roommate," Linda said with a shrug.  

"And I'm her mother of course I know," Francine said with a superior tilt to her chin.  

The four women looked at each other and laughed.  

"Well, at least we're not outnumbered, right Cisco."  

Joe, Henry, and Wally looked to engineer for support.  

Cisco shook his head.  

"Don't look at me; I came with her." He pointed to Caitlin whose cheeks flushed a soft pink.   

"Forget you man," Joe said. "What about this dessert?"  

Sundaes were made with her favorite toppings, and they sat around the dining room table eating and talking. Iris savored the mix of warm gooey brownie and cool ice cream while they talked, everyone, giving her encouraging smiles from time-to-time.  

"Hey baby girl," Joe came out onto the deck. "Now why am I not surprised to find you here?"  

"Because Barry and I used to sit out here and talk all night during summer break," she replied.   

"Yeah," he sat down next to her on the padded porch swing and Iris leaned against her father. "So how are you feeling, really?"  

"Sad, worried, scared, but not as sad, worried and scared as I felt this morning."  

"Good." Joe put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.  

Iris stared into a night lit by the yellow glow of streetlights, leaves on shadowed trees moving in the breeze. Joe sat with her silent, and she was grateful for that. She was tired, and there was still so much to say and do. Her grief and fear were still with her, and there were new worries.   

Barry had enemies out there, somewhere, at least one had traveled in time. She knew enough about the world to know that sometimes when an enemy couldn't get the object of their revenge, they transferred their anger and hate to family, a loved one. Did Barry have any enemies of that kind? There was an undercurrent of meta-human fear growing in Central City. With The Flash gone meta-human crime was on the rise.  

She wasn't naive enough to think that wouldn't crystallize into something dangerous and ugly. It had been happening to black people for four hundred years. And what would the world make of black meta-humans raised by a single mother? Iris sighed feeling a bone-deep weariness that had been with her since the night of the fire.  

"What is it baby girl?"  

"Nothing I want to talk about right now dad. Tonight was a good night."  

"Yeah, it was. You should see Wally and Cisco in there trying to impress Caitlin and Linda with engineer talk."  

"Oh really. What happened to that guy Wally was dating?"  

"Didn't work-out I guess." Joe's arm tightened around her shoulders. "You know we're gonna take care of you right?"  

"I know. I guess I'll have to tell everyone about Barry being The Flash."

Her father took a deep breath.

"You will, but not tonight."

"That and more."

"Yeah."

She'd have to tell them about Barry being the Flash, about his possible enemies, about the twins possibly being metas. There was a lot, but for the first time in weeks, Iris did not find her herself consumed by grief, worry, and fear. It was still there she could feel it sitting in her stomach, riding her shoulders waiting for that moment, the memory that would bring it all out again, but for the moment she could turn her mind from it, and she did.

Iris leaned against her father, let him put a protective arm around her shoulders, let her hand of its own accord drift down to lie against her stomach. For now, for one moment though she- they were content, and that was all that mattered.  

A/N- So I’m posting it all at once. This fic was never supposed to get drawn out like this in the first place. Chapter 12 is the final chapter of part one, we go back to the night of the fire and find out what really happened to Barry.  If you prefer to read on Fanfiction.net it will be up soon.

[duckball]

#BB19 Let the games begin

Summer has officially started! Tonight is the 2-hour premiere of BB19! Hey, it’s Brandon and I’m back this summer to blog and tweet and bitch about all the happenings in the BB house! I cannot wait to get this season underway! Let’s gooooooooo! 

“The most tempting season go Big Brother begins now.” Julie rocking the purple sleeveless dress! She’s as excited as ever. 

There tempting offers could turn the house upside down.....

Money, former fan favorite, and possible first night eviction (OH SHIT)

The first one we meet is Christmas. Author, first female NASCAR print crew member, and obvious fitness buff

Jason is a rodeo clown and auctioneer. Aww, his son’s cute. That’s all I have to say about him. 

Alex loves playing video games, chess, eating, and preparing for the apocalypse. 

Kevin is a stay at home dad with 7 kids who is used to dealing with children so that should help him in the game. Probably not tho. 

Dominique is a nuclear engineer from D.C. Religion is a huge part of her life. So important that she has a YT channel all about Jesus. She seems fierce. 

Mark is a personal trainer who was raised by his grandparents. Awwww his grandparents are adorable! Almost as adorable as he is. 

Elena is a radio personality from TX who is 100% unfiltered. “There’s a really good chance my mouth will get me in trouble.” You think honey? 

Ramses is a cosplay artist, or god, in his words. A BB super fan who is the gay guy of the season. A little over the top. Well, a lot over the top. 

They are playing it off as if Jason and Dominique will get along which I don’t see. 

Elena’s family tells her goodbye by telling her to go get a man. How supportive of them... Who cares about this amazing opportunity she just received go get some dick and bring that home so you can break up in 6 months. 

Alex, Mark, Ramses, and Elena are the first 4 to enter the house this season! 

Ramses is fan boying in the diary room.  

Alex is already looking for clues for the first comp. My first impressions were wrong.

Elena is drooling over Mark, not surprisingly. But Mark is drooling over Christmas. Sorry Elena, trying the next group of bros. 

Christmas is hilarious!

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME  

Cody is next. A Marine for 4 years, and 6 years in the air force. With an amazing body. And I mean amazing. He’s pretty chill. Aww... he has a little girl! She’s cute! 

Raven owns her own dancing studio and an all woman ghost hunting team. Who seems so much more tame than her pre show interview. 

Josh is a Puerto Rican business man who is super proud of his heritage and will not stop at the chance to remind us of that and his loud personality. 

Megan is a dog walker. When she was 20, she joined the Navy and became a professional interrogator (did not see that twist coming). 

Cameron is microbiologist. The nerd of the season who is athletic. According to him, a triple threat. We’ll see about that.  

Jessica is a something from LA. A model I think. Looks like it. Apparently she’s a super fan who always watched with her dad who passed away 3 years ago :( 

Matt is a...... oh he’s oh.... oh. I heard nothing he said. Sorry. That face, that hair, that body, that everything. 

Jillian is a timeshares rep who is talking about how to get timeshares and I couldn’t care less. Her entire family went to Tijuana to get weight loss. No judgement but judging. 

Well, Megan hates woman because they’re bitchy. Good luck girl.  

Matt, Raven, Jillian, and Cameron head in to meet the first 8 HGs! 

Christmas and Matt (YES PLEASE)

Raven and Matt? (NO PLEASE) 

The first thing Cody notices is Jessica. As well as Josh. Who will sleep together first because both guys basically already have a hard on. 

Ramses, Megan, Alex are hitting it off super well. 

#LivesInHisMomsBasement Alex about Cameron HAHAHAHA

None of these people know what cosplay is. Kevin can’t even pronounce it, not surprisingly. 

Dominque lies about her job, Megan doesn’t tell them she was an interrogator. 

All the girls are drooling over Matt. Which is literally me this entire episode. Ugh I can’t handle him. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

“The biggest, wildest, the most tempting summer in the history of the game. The summer of temptation. And it all starts right now!” 

Money, safety, and power are all of tonight’s temptations. 

They all head out to the back yard for the first temptation. BB Garden of Eden. They are all in pods and are lifted in the air. They have a button and if they press the button, they get 25K. Accept it, and the first twist of the summer will be released into the game. The person who takes the temptation will remain anonymous. 

Cameron is not pressing the button. Josh wants to but won’t. Dom says it’s not worth it this early in the game. 

KEVIN PRESSED THE BUTTON 

TWO consequences. One personal. And one for the entire house. The person who claimed it is not eligible to win the first HOH. They must throw it. The second is...... most likely Paul coming back but we won’t know till later. 

Dominique is pissed. She’s out for blood. Get it girl! 

Julie says they’re about to be joined by a former fan favorite. I’m shocked! Wow. Cannot believe. Best kept secret. So excited. Yay. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Doorbell rings......... PAUL FROM BB18 ENTERS THE HOUSE (yawn) 

PISSED 

Cody doesn’t like him and can’t wait to BD him while everyone else is hanging all over him. 

Megan, Ramses, Alex, Jillian head upstairs to chat. They all vibe well. Megan says lets just call it a group of people talking strategy, not an alliance. Smart call, Megan. Don’t jump the gun already. 

Paul is taking one of the HGs places in the game. It’s called the BB Swap. Lmao

If they want to stay in the game, they must tempt Paul. He goes to the storage to get a box and Julie tells him to open it... There are 9 friendship bracelets. One for him, 8 are for the other 8 HGs OF HIS CHOICE. If they get a bracelet, they will be safe from eviction. They other 8 will be up for eviction.  

Jillian has yet to take out her weave. She needs that bracelet! Girl! Me too. I feel ya! 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Raven is the first one working Paul hard. 

Elena gives him a cheese sandwich. Practice safe snacks, use a condiment. He’s impressed. 

Cody is literally sitting there in silence. Most awkward date ever I love it. 

Paul is having none of Christmas or Josh. 

TIME FOR THE ROSE CEREMONY I mean bracelet reveal 

First bracelet goes to.... Kevin ugh 

Next.... Raven 

Third.... Dominique

Fourth.... Mark

Fifth... Jason 

Sixth.... Jessica 

Seventh.... Ramses

Eighth... Elena 

Cody, Matt, Cameron, Megan, Christmas, Matt, Jillian, Alex are up for eviction and will compete to stay in the house 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Tempted by the Fruit is the safety challenge. 3 will be on the chopping block and up for eviction at the end of this comp. 

They have to hang on to a trapeze. The last one standing will be safe from eviction. When they fall, they have to pick an apple. Some are good, some are bad. The 3 bad ones will land you on the block. Julie will reveal clues throughout the comp as to which apples are the good apples so it’s best to stay on longer. 

Jillian falls first... 

Megan falls next... 

Josh falls next because they got another clue and he thinks he can get a safe apple. Bro. 

Cameron jumps down next 

Christmas falls down 

Matt, Cody, and Alex are left hanging 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Matt falls down after an hour and 12 minutes 

Cody and Alex will guarantee their safety 

Alex falls after an hour and 25 minutes 

Cody is SAFE 

Alex is SAFE 

Matt is SAFE 

Christmas is UP FOR EVICTION 

Cameron is UP FOR EVICTION 

Josh is SAFE 

Megan is SAFE 

Jillian is UP FOR EVICTION 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

The three noms are tempted by how they want their fate to be determined. Either by letting the house vote or take fate into their own hands and battle in a comp for safety. SHIT THIS IS GETTING INTENSE 

Jillian wants the VOTE 

Cameron wants the COMP

Christmas wants the VOTE 

There will be a vote 

Jason wants Christmas out. Cody isn’t impressed with Jillian. Cameron uses a striptease on Jessica and Elena but they seem unimpressed. A hairy butt isn’t the way to Elena’s heart. Now we know. 

Cameron is the first one to cry in the DR! I made the best first draft pick ever. Go me. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

It’s time for the first eviction of the season... 

Paul will only vote in the event of a tie 

Jessica evicts.... 

Josh.... 

Okay well they aren’t showing who everyone is voting out. 

I guess the votes are in now.... 

Christmas is safe with only 2 votes to evict 

8 to 3... Cameron is evicted and has been Jodi’d/Glenn’d 

This is legit sad. This kid is a fan and it was his dream and he lasted only 12 hours while a vet takes his place. It sucks. I don’t like it at all. 

BB is back tomorrow night for the crowning of the first HOH and Sunday will the reveal of the next twist..... 

We get to choose one HG to enter the Den of Temptation. Once they get to go in, they cannot enter it again. They’ll be tempted with the Pendant of Protection. The person that gets this will get safety for the next three weeks. But of course it comes with some kind of consequence... 

Well..... that was A LOT. I’m still trying to process everything because there was so much happening tonight. Overall, it was entertaining. Very intense premiere episode and one of the better premieres in a while. Hate the fact a vet is back. Hate the fact that it’s Paul. Hate the fact that he took the spot of a newbie. But I think it’s going to be a fun season if tonight is any indication. Let me know your thoughts on the premiere! Comment below or tweet us @DuckballBB. 

Thanks for following along tonight! You’ll get to chat with the rest of the DB team as the season goes on. I’ll be tweeting all season @oubrandon14 about the episodes AND the live feeds! Follow me and tweet me your thoughts! Until next time..... 

[jennbunni]

Well I guess I'm answering all of them! @yaoi-hime @thefantastickatinator

sorry for taking so long with this, it was a lot of facts to gather ;v ;

Purple: 10 facts about my room

it's kinda small

it was originally painted pink, we painted it white when we moved in

I don't like the plain white walls, so I covered them in posters and mementos

I get a great view of the moon at night

I have those glow-in-the-dark star stickers on my ceiling

it's one of the most brightly lit rooms in the house (with just sunlight)

my closet is about half stuffed animals, half clothes

it's been my bedroom for about 17 years

the wall between mine and my brother's is very thin, and he talks in his sleep, so I hear him mumbling all the time

the only tv I've ever had in my room is an old portable tv/vhs player that we would bring on car trips. it's only set up to play vhs movies, but it's a great setup for watching Disney movies!

Blue: 9 facts about my family

my brother is 3 years younger than me, but people always assume we're twins

a few years ago my dad remarried so now I also have a step mom, brother, and sister

I have a great-uncle Mike, an uncle Mike, a cousin Mike (who married into the family), and my brother is also Mike

I'm still trying to memorize the names of my extended family (there's a lot...)

my paternal grandfather fought in WWII (he got married/had kids after he came home)

there's a gene on my mom's side that gives the women 2 webbed toes. my mom, aunt, grandma, and cousin (only male to get it) all have it on one foot, I have it on both!

my brother got a tattoo before I did and I'm still envious

apparently there's an old german beer company that goes by my surname??? I've yet to find more info on it

my mom always mixes up mine and my aunts names when we're all together

Green: 8 facts about my appearance

my eyes are officially brown, but they are actually hazel (there are little touches of green if you look closely)

my skin tone is really fair, and I don't tan easily

I have a few select freckles I consider my favorites

I love my brown hair, but I wish it were easier to dye it light colors without bleaching

I'm not exactly short, but I'm only about chest-height to my bro (he gives the best hugs!)

a few haircuts I've gotten were inspired by favorite characters

when it hits, the thing that I get most dysphonic about is my hip/waist ratio (wider hips are nice for dresses, but the rest of the time is uughh)

I want to get tattoos as soon as I can afford it

Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood

until a few years ago, my dad and I rode his motorcycle to an orchard every fall to get fresh apple cider

when I was really little, I would watch The Aristocats over and over all the time

the first pet I remember was a big black lab/newfoundland mix named Nikki. I would use him like a pillow when I was a baby

I wanted to be a marine biologist or zoologist when I grew up

I never got the "where babies come from" talk because I liked to check out anatomy books from the library

my mom made me learn to sew by making me help her mend socks

my favorite sandwich for lunch was (and still is) salami on bread and folded in half

Orange: 6 facts about my hometown

it's called "Middletown" because it's halfway between Washington DC and Philadelphia

it used to have dozens of peach orchards, so every summer we have the Peach Festival (and I hate peaches ;v ; )

The Dead Poets Society was shot at our historic Everett Theater and St. Andrew's School (along with other cities in Delaware)

the first winner of Ink Masters has his home-shop on Main St

it's quickly becoming more suburban and less rural :(

it's got some great fishing and hunting spots, or so I've been told

Red: 5 facts about my best friend

I actually have 2 best friends, 3 if I count my brother  

my first best friend and I met when I moved into my current home (when I was about 5). we've known each other for so long and are so close I consider her a sister

my second bestie and I met in our freshman year of high school

she introduced me to the world of conventions and cosplay

all 3 of our birthdays are in October

Pink: 4 facts about my parents

my dad is half Irish, half German. my mom is ~3/4 Italian, with some German and Dutch

my dad used to play in a coverband, I remember hearing him practice playing the guitar for hours

my mom was super excited when I turned 21 because she couldn't wait to take me to wine-tastings, like she did with her mom and sister

my step-mom has a pontoon. before I met her I didn't know what a pontoon was

White: 3 facts about my personality

I'm afraid of confrontation

whenever anything bad happens to me/someone else I always try to point out the positives

I put on a show of confidence in public but I'm actually incredibly shy

Grey: 2 facts about my favorite things

if there is a soft thing there is a 95% chance I will buy it, bonus points if I can wear or cuddle it

I will always point out if something is a pretty/interesting color before anything else

Black: 1 fact about the person I like

we haven't gotten to talk much since we returned from our study abroad classes, even though we share a class this semester TTv TT

[takillas]

THe Tsunogami institute, Scene 10: Elmyra faces the music

Elmira knocks on her hotel room door, “I’m sorry Annabelle, this won’t happen again.” She looks at her and then to the floor.   “Like I said, It’s fine.” Annabelle tosses her hair back. “It’s not like he’s high risk or anything.”  She leans against the wall. “Besides everyone made sure he was okay.” The door opens, “I’ll see you guys in a couple hours.”   “I’ll see you,” Elmira says as she walks in looks at her sister on a video call and Billy in a robe. Oh, I messed up. She walks up to Billy and holds his hands. “Are you okay? I just wanted some coffee and thought you were sound asleep.” Billy slowly hugs her. Well, that was easy.   “That’s my sister, your brother’s canoid,” Eliza says. Billy buries his head in Elmira’s chest. “Who is thoroughly enjoying her company at the moment.”   Billy groans then looks at the video. “Where’s Vanessa?”   Jessica clicks her tongue and sighs. “She was called in again.”   “Again?” Billy pouts and throws his arms down. “She was supposed to take me to the train yesterday.” Billy hangs his head and sways side to side, “She was supposed to have both days off.”   Jessica laughs, “Yeah, that’s why she gave her two weeks.”   “Oh dang,” Eliza says. Handing the phone to her sister. Rachel nods. “I would’ve.” Julia nods in agreement. “Dang bro you got lucky!” The girls laugh, except Elmira. “Hell, I’d tap that in a heartbeat.”   At least Billy doesn’t objectify me. “Thanks Jessi.” Elmira looks to the side. Billy taps her shoulder repeatedly and has a huge smile on his face, “I’m tapping you.”   Thank you so much, Billy. Elmira laughs along with everyone, but then she notices him withdraw his tongue back into his mouth. If she wasn’t paying attention, she would’ve missed it. Oh you sly devil, you’re subverting the joke. “No, you’re not,” Jessi says with a laugh. “You don’t understand what we’re talking about.” Well, she’s toxic. Elmira fake smiles at the girl. “Can I talk to you? I need to do makeup anyway.” Dollars for donuts this girl blames Billy for my screw-up. She goes into the bathroom and sets the phone up against the wall. “There we go. I kinda messed up this morning.”   “What happened?” Jessi leans back, sipping her coffee.   Elmira sighs. “I wanted to have coffee and left him alone.” She brushes her hair aside, feeling her canine ears. “I swear, I thought he was sleeping.” Jessi laughs and takes another drink. “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Everyone needs a peaceful moment after dealing with him.” Elmira smiles and pretends to laugh with her. “Lesson learned though, always tell Billy what’s happening or he will have a freak-out.” She drinks again. “Just tell him you want ‘alone time’ or something.”   Wow, you must think he’s totally stupid. “Hmm, good idea.” She puts foundation on, “Yeah, and bath time did not go well last night.”   Jessi rolls her eyes. “Oh God, did he scream or throw things?”   Elmira stops. “No, he was just terrified. Do you know why?” She finishes powdering her face. Jessi sips again and nods, “It happened when he was a year old, but I was in the other room. All I heard was him scream at the top of his lungs. Vanessa ran in and snatched him from Mom’s hands when she to tried bathe him for the first time.” She laughs. “Yeah, Mom never did that again.” The first time, at over a year old? Elmira has to know. “Was Vanessa his primary caregiver before me?” Jessi nods finishing her coffee. “Speaking of his two, um, ‘sisters.’”   Jessi waves her hand, “Oh, no no no.” She raises her hands in protest. “He has no idea we’re not related.”   Elmira applies some color to her cheeks, “Anything else I should know?”   Jessi holds up two fingers. “Two things. First, Vanessa saved up a ton of money for you two. That will have to last till you guys get a job.” She smiles, looking to the side. “And for whatever reason, he wanted to bring tons of cupped food for you two.” She gives an exaggerated shrug. “I don’t get why.”   That can’t be good. Elmira thinks. I have to ask, even though I think I know what she’ll say. “I went into this wanting a real husband.” She takes a deep breath, “He does… have a drive, right?”   Jessi smirks, “Billy’s immature, but he’s still a boy.” She laughs. “Just play with him a little and you can have him however you want him. No boy resists that.”   Elmira fake-laughs along with Jessi. Oh, you're okay with your brother being raped. How nice. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk with you later.” Jessi bids her goodbye and hangs up. Elmira stares into the mirror. “I got my work cut out for me.”   After finishing up, she heads out into the room where everyone is waiting. Julia sighs. “Well, now we know who’s been treating Billy like a baby.” Billy is embarrassed but Rachel and Eliza nod, agreeing with Julia.   Eliza clicks her tongue. “You had a mom that was verbally abusive, a sister who’s toxic.” She shrugs. “What about your dad and Vanessa?”   Billy sighs then swings his arms, “I never spoke with him because he thought Vanessa and I weren’t his kids.” He darts his eyes around the room. “Vanessa was never mean she was just different, like…” he says trailing off.   Hmm, why did he stop talking? “So you know you're not related to Jessica?”   Billy clenches his fists and folds his arms. “They’re still my sisters!”   Eliza puts her arms around him. “I get it.” She rests her head on his shoulder. “They re family, and now, so are we.” She looks at him again. “Do you know why you're not related?”   Billy pulls away, shrugging. “Mom gave birth to me, but,” he looks around. “She’s not my mom or something.” He hangs his head. “I don’t, um, I don’t get it.”   Julia raises a finger. “She’s a surrogate mom.”   Elmira shrugs and shakes her head. “But why wouldn’t he be with his biological parents then?”   Julia smiles. “Simple, surrogacy has gotten super popular in recent decades because more and more people are marrying Aminoids.” She shifts her weight. “Now, if Mom was a feloid and Dad was a human, they can’t have kids together. The wife donates her eggs, the eggs get fertilized by a donor, and then put into a surrogate, e. g. Your mom who birthed you.”   Rachel walks to Billy. “Oh, I get it. His dad dies in the last trimester of the pregnancy and the feloid can’t take custody of William so the surrogate is stuck with him.” She tilts her head to the side and nods. “That makes sense.” Billy sits on the bed and looks at the floor. “Oh, I was never told.” He pauses. “That makes sense, my mom never liked me. Only my sisters liked me.” Elmira leans in and. “Speaking of, did you know Vanessa packed you some money?” Billy shakes his head, and Elmira searches his duffle. “She did, and oh?” She finds a drawstring bag and opens it. “Here it is. What’s this?” She pulls out a binder with anime characters on it. She laughs and has a huge grin. “Hey, these girls are pretty.”   Billy gasps. “No! You can’t look in there!” He fruitlessly tries to grab the album. “It’s his stash,” Julia’s says with a laugh. Elmira tosses it to her sister, who opens it up to look. Billy tries to grab it from her too, but she puts it behind her and has a smirk. He stops. “Good, I’m looking.” She flips through the album, “William, this is cosplay.” His face turns beet-red. Rachel tilts her head. “I didn’t know you liked cosplay too.” He looks up with his eyes wide, “I used to do cosplay for years.” She leans down. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”   Eliza sighs, “Dude, there’s not even bikini or lingerie pics in here.” She goes back to the beginning, “There is a lot of stuff from this Raven White girl though.” Rachel motions for the album, and she hands it to her. “Do you know her or something?”   She looks at the pictures for a bit. “That was my stage name.”   Billy frantically scratches his face, but Elmira grabs his arms. “Billy, let’s not hurt ourselves,” She says in an abnormally calm manner. Elmira’s training kicks in, “I need you to breathe nice and slow. Are you comfortable hugging me?” He throws his arms around her. Eliza sniffs him. “Epi-spike. Good call sis.”   Julia steps forward. “What happened? What’s an Epi-spike?”   Eliza walks over and whispers to her and Rachel, “Epinephrine spike, he’s having a panic attack.”   Rachel rolls her eyes. “Well, he had a crush on me.”

[wishingfornever]

9/17/17 – No Contact:  Road Rage on Memory Lane

Woke up at 5.  I’m leaving for Houston on the 30th. It may sound cliché but I always wanted to go see New York.  We’ve driven through it.  I was young.  We were seeing my brother and he lived in Massachusetts at the time.  My dad said he refused to go through New York so we had to as well.  Houston is the 4th largest city in the US, though, so I guess it’s like Texan New York.

My dad has been super chill lately.  It’s been nice.  At least he has been with me.  When we went to Reno, he got upset with customer service.  Ironically, I kind of felt like you and he was me.  Like you feel awkward and kind of want to go somewhere else.  It’s probably different for you… but similar circumstance. Someone was angry and you were riding shotgun with them. It wasn’t road rage.  He just wanted to see my sister at the casino she worked at.  He raised his voice and was a less than preferable customer to have.  My sister said she worked with a bunch of pansies because everyone was super scared of him at the desk.  She was chill with it (mind you, she got there after we did; she works night).  His anger is different though.  He takes everything personally.  I have a lot of unresolved issues that I leave unresolved.  It comes out while driving.  I didn’t used to be so bad. I sound like a broken record, I’m sure.  I’m reminded that my dad actively tried cockblocking me.  Again, wasn’t trying to get laid but geezuz.  I’m not sure we’d had gotten along at my age. I also realize that it’s a problem I have.  Like, I’m over what my dad did.  It’s fine, but I am a bit surprised.  I just wanted to have a conversation with her and then he tried overtalking me.  Daniel did the same thing with that 80 yo woman at the bar.  I was drunk so it became a competition.  I don’t like people talking over me because I guess it was always like that in between my dad and Janis.  So… a petty annoyance.  I guess when I get muted, blocked, or ignored it sucks too.  That is one of the downsides to trolling or at least the internet, where they remove my ability to speak. That might be one of the reasons I took this so hard.  I felt like you were keeping me from talking, though it’d had probably been better if I had just shut up.  I don’t know; pitching theories here.  I’ll bring up our relationship when I go to therapy.  I’ll try to be unbiased and I’ll see if that’s the reason.

I need to find a therapist first.  I don’t even know what to look for.

My lips are super chapped.  I was so dehydrated during the summer.  I’m looking forward to Adela’s where I can just grab a glass of water whenever I want instead of so many bottles of water.  Less wasteful, especially here.

I’ve been watching Rick an Morty Season 3 on repeat.  Part of a livestream that claims to have all episodes but only does Season 3.  I really shouldn’t because I could be working on my book, but eh.  The episode with the Vindicators.  Super Nova I think her name is?  I think you could cosplay her because she’s super skinny and has a nice ass.  ;D I know, I know.  Low standard but I think it’d be a cool cosplay to see in general.  Maybe soon, someone will do it. It feels like yesterday that I was still going to high school. Yesterday was ten years ago.  I’d have been starting my Junior year at about this time.  Hating life, stuck in self-isolation.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t hated… I was a self selected outcast.  I didn’t really have a clique.  David and I went to different High Schools and road the same bus.  Occaisionally, I’d go to his house to play Xbox.  During the summer, I’d spend a lot of time in between either his house or Jeremiah’s.  Jer and I spent two weeks playing nothing but Halo 3, iirc.  Might have been Halo 2, I don’t remember.  We were did a lot of multiplayer and we were fucking awesome.  That’s where we noticed red team always won.  Very seldom did blue win. Yeah, I think it was Halo 3.

I remember Jeremiah with short hair, btw.  It’s funny.  He looks a lot like Sean.  Go figure, eh?  ;)

We didn’t always just play Xbox.  He was sympathetic.  I told him a lot.  Anything that was on my mind.  That’s changed, though.  Not because I don’t trust him.  I guess somewhere along the way, I stopped opening up.  Might have had something to do with going to Texas the first time.  Not sure.

Told Ariel I was going back recently and she knows I hated Texas.  She worries a lot about me.  She remembers how bad Amarillo was on me.  How emotionally draining it was.  She remembers when I was in a hard time, partially caused by my niece fucking me over and robbing me, basically.  I was super thin back then.  After my hardships, though, I gained a lot of weight. I’ve gained over 80 pounds since I left Amarillo.

I’ve never felt so fat.  My self-esteem has never been so low.  I used to think I was fat when I weighed 240.  I was, but I didn’t realize I could gain anymore weight.  I let myself go.

I want to weigh 200 again.  That’s my goal.  I don’t need to weigh 180, that’s super thin.  I have a natural masculine build.  If I really dedicated myself, I could be a body builder.  I could get SO strong. I’d be petty and shallow about my own appearance, but life would be better.

I remember once in Amarillo when I was relatively skinny (not my skinniest; probably 210 or 220 if I had to guess) I had to save my niece from something stupid she got involved in.  She was confronted by a man and a woman.  The man was smaller than me, and immediately starting kissing up by saying, “Hey, Bro.  Do you work out?” and feeling my left arm.  I pulled away and told him no.

I don’t like being touched and I don’t like when people kiss ass. Your touch was the exception, of course.  This guy royally pissed me off. My niece made it back to my truck without too much hassle and they left her the fuck alone when I got there.  One of the reasons I didn’t get in many fights was because I never had to.  I was intimidating.  I didn’t want to fight anyone then.  The fights I did get in, I didn’t want to fight then either.  I rely on intimidation so I win the fight before it ever happens. Maybe that’s another reason you’re afraid of me.  Because it works. I don’t feel very intimidating right now.  I’m just… round. However, I’m confident no one would ever try to fight me.  It’s not in their best interest to, after all.  If they fight me, they might get hurt.  The average human is a coward. If someone is talking shit to your face, he’s building up the courage to fight you. With the two fights in Texas, they both swung first and they were both drunk.  The second fight, he had a friend help him. The first refused to go home and through a swing at me.  I punched him and physically dragged him outside.  He threatened me by asking, “Have you ever been shot, before?  Have you ever been shot with a gun before?” think that was scary.  I followed him to his apartment and he came out with a bench press bar.  Piece.  Of.  Shit.  He threatened to hit my truck and he threatened me with other things.  As he was trying to scare me, my niece pulled up with her boyfriend.  I turned to look, look back at this guy, and he was trying to… impale my face with it?  Like, he didn’t swing.  He thrusted.  I dodged it all and then hit him with a hook.  He ran back inside.  I asked my niece’s boyfriend to go drive my truck around the corner. As he drove off, the dude stepped outside and was reporting my license plate to the police.  I saw this and yelled, “Hey, go back inside!” and he fearfully looked at me and then went back inside. I waited for the police, wearing light pants and a tee shirt.  I knew they were coming and when they got there, I wasn’t expecting them to take me outside.  It was cold and I was freezing.  They said that they got a call that someone was threatened with a gun. Ironically, it was me but he said I had pulled a gun on him. So, they check my apartment and then they checked my truck.  I let them know that the seats fold up in the back and helped their search.  After they realized I didn’t have a gun (my rifle was at my brother’s so if I had kept it at the apartment, I’d be in serious trouble. Then again, someone would have stolen it like they did my other things).  They asked me if I wanted to press charges and I said no and that he was drunk.  Whatever. It honestly wasn’t that bad.  I threw less than five punches that night.  I was told that if he refused to leave, I had the right to shoot and KILL him. When I heard that, I was super shocked.  Of course, this was at Dunkin Donuts when I was told that.  It was before the cemetery.  I was content.  My rage and my sorrow was manageable.

The second time, I was spending some time away from the apartment with this girl.  I got an emergency text from my niece and I really didn’t feel like answering it.  She’d set up all these bullshit parties in our apartment and then rely on me to break it up when it got out of hand.  I was tired of it.

This time, it was different. This dude was getting a little too frisky and his advances were unwanted.  So, I ended up going back.  When I returned, she ran to the bathroom and I told the remaining few that it was time to wrap up the party and go home. This little turd eyeballed me.  He was the one trying to get frisky with my niece.  He was clearly angry and I was expecting him to say something.  He didn’t.  Just punched me and started punching me.  I grabbed him by the throat and pinned him against the wall while yelling, “What the fuck?!”  I was collecting my thoughts because I didn’t think he’d act so unreasonably.  His friend who was by the beer pong table charged me and grabbed me.  Thus, I had to fight these two guys in my own home. One of my niece’s friends came in and said, “What the fuck?!”  She was apparently a friend of the little turd’s friend and asked what the hell he was doing.  He said helping Little Turd.  I told her I told them to go home and he coldcocked me out of the blue.  She yelled at them and they left. She stayed and said I still looked handsome.  It was nice.  Things had gotten worse there which is why I didn’t want to party with them.  I was tired of the loud music and drinking.  I was sleeping on the couch and needed to hear it.  I didn’t show my appreciation then. The first fight was early on so the parties weren’t frequent.  Things weren’t that bad then.  I let my niece walk all over me and thus things started to go bad. That said, the second fight was less one sided.  Go figure; I was outnumbered.  I had a black eye and a bloody nose.  No permanent damage, except for a ruined shirt.  Blood and tears.  I was a little upset by it. The next day, I go to work and everyone joked about how I needed to stop hosting fight clubs in my apartment. That day, I also was offered a job at the cemetery.  I was given the job offer looking like an amateur boxer.  It took me a while to actually accept their offer.  I used to have a discomfort with being in cemeteries.  If it were a car dealership, I’d have taken it sooner probably.  I hate car dealerships, too. Less people would have threatened me at a car dealership.  But that’s a story for another time.