#then for the remainder of the time my laptop is open without going to sleep- photoshop will not crash

[weaselishmcdiesel]

yay photoshop's crashing reverted to having no solution

[simpingfortheages]

//Test it out//

You know what pineapple does...come on ;) you know...

Ally Mayfair x Fem reader

(FLUFF! SMUT But fluff too...is-is cute ngl)

Reader comes home and sees Ally in bed, one thing leads to another.

Source: mirandascroft (sorry :( idk how to add gifs on tumblr but i still gave credit :)

Long days at the office weighed down on you so much that your shoulders ached and sagged as you walked. The feeling of every muscle in your body screaming for you to lie down, to sit, to do something other than stand. You sloppily toed off your shoes that your wore for 9 hours, leaving them to clatter in a corner. Ally will understand. The cool board floor was heavenly on your sore feet , a cool reminder that Ally probably had the AC on a few hours ago. It seemed as though just by being home it was the remedy you needed.

Tossing the hefty bag from your pained shoulder onto the counter also added to your satisfaction. A smile crept its way upon your lips, just at the idea of not having to touch that laptop bag for the next two days. "Ally?" you called out for you girlfriend. Your girlfriend for 1 year and 10 months to be precise. The best decision you ever made was to walk into that restaurant,"Ally baby?" there was no answer to your reply the first time. The further you walked into the house and made your way into the living room, you already knew that she was passed out in bed. The glass that remained with 1 inch red wine left on the short side table gave you your answer.

With an extra happiness and pep in your step you skipped your way up the stairs, jumping past every 2 steps. If Ally were awake and saw that, she would scold you for setting a bad example for Oz, which luckily for you was away spending the night with one of his schoolmates. As you continued to make your way upstairs, the white door to yours and Ally's bedroom came into view. Trying to stay as quiet as possible you pushed open the door which gave a small creak, you always mentioned to Ally about fixing that, but the brunette refused to get it oiled because she liked hearing when you came home. It was a sweet gesture.

The sight of your girlfriend on the bed that you both shared made your heart swell with love. After all the trauma and terrible things she faced before she became the senator, you made it your number one priority to shower her with all the love and care that she deserved. The floor board groaned softly beneath your naked feet as you tip toed your way to the side of the queen sized bed. There she laid sprawled out on the sheets, wearing your button up flannel shirt, hugging your pillow with one leg hitched upon it. The pillow had a faded scent of the lavender perfume you famously wore. It was Ally's favourite, she said it 'made her feel safe'. You never questioned it so you continued to wear it every day.

The 2 empty bottles situated on your wooden dresser proved that point. Before you keeled down to bestow a kiss on her soft skin, you noticed a small plastic container...was it? noo, she wouldn't. She promised to share. The irresistible smell of the pineapple juice that collected at the bottom of the container was calling you. Without thinking you lifted the container to your lips and drank the remainder of the fruit you both promised to share. You eyes opened wide at the taste of how sweet the pineapple was, after you drank every drop, you rested the bowl back on the night stand.

Apparently the soft thud against the wooden table caused the sleeping senator in the bed to stir awake. As Ally shifted on the bed to turn and face you, the loose buttoned shirt that she wore began to ride up her thighs, allowing her pink underwear to peak through. Ally stopped hugging your pillow and fully rotated her body which made her shirt move even more to reveal that your girlfriend wore no bra. She was everything that you loved, the perfect woman and person whom you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Her brown eyes slowly began to open but it wasn't opened all the way, with eyes still filled with sleep Ally squinted at you as a small smile adorned her face.

"hi baby.." her voice was soft and raspy from now waking up but it was filled with glee. " hi baby" you replied with happiness in yours. Ally sat up on the bed and neatly folded her legs as she outstretched her hands for a hug. You didn't move, instead you shot her a toothy grin and narrowed your eyes at her in a joking manner. "Where's my share Al?" the adorable look of realization that dawned on Ally's face as she turned her head to look at the empty container. "OH baby, I am sorry, it was just really sweet. It was one of the sweetest ones you brought home" she pouted her bottom lip and gave you puppy eyes.

Of course you fell for it. You playfully rolled your eyes as you shrugged off your work jacket, and threw it on the chair that already had clothes from previous work days,"Well Ms Mayfair, your going to have to pay me back for that." Ally quirked an eyebrow at your sudden statement and flopped her hand down on the bed with a loud huff, "well y/n I can buy you back one tomorrow." you shook your head 'no' at her way to rectifying the situation. You knew she was a little salty now from the lack of attention she was receiving. Usually you'd shower her in kisses and take the hug that she offered when you came home, however you had another plan in store. Ally furrowed her eyebrows,"well how to make it back up to you?". You knew exactly how she could repay you.

After you removed most of your work clothes you were standing at the bedside in only your shirt with a cute fuming Ally in the bed."Don't look at me like that. You ate all the pineapple that YOU promised we'd share, I came home all excited to eat it." Ally scoffed loudly at your reply, her eyebrows went up in shock,"So that's ALLLLL you came home excited for y/n?" she threw her hands up in frustration."Yes Ally. I did" at this point the senator folded her arms tightly against her chest staring daggers at you with an annoyed look plastered on her face.

"omg Ally of course I am kidding, I came home for YOUUU toooo.." you jumped on the bed and lovingly wrapped your arms around her. To make up for rejecting her hug from before you showered her with kisses all over her pouted lips, and face. Ally's fake being angry demeanor broke when your lips trailed to her neck. She always giggled when you kissed there , she was ticklish. It was one of the things your adored and did quite often to get a reaction out of her. "Y/N Stopp!!" Ally laughed uncontrollably, she pressed the heels of her palm into your chest to try and push you off, but you were relentless."Are you ready to pay me back now?" you pulled away to allow her to catch her breathe.

"wa-wait so...so the tickle attack wasn't the payback?" Ally spoke through her struggle to regulate her breathing." NO way, you owe me big time sooo..." you stopped mid sentence to make sure she was listening to you."SOO what y/n? you know I don't like being left in suspense" you playfully rolled your eyes at her impatience,"SOooo.. you remembered that article that we read and thought was a lie?" you said watching the small gears turn in Ally's head. When she realized what you meant, a pink blush crept it's way onto her chest and face.

"I mean you do owe me baby."you continued to plant more kisses atop her flushed skin, however this time it was slow and filled with a sensual intent. Ally craned her neck to the side to expose more of her skin for you to place your lips upon,"I- i'd like to try that" the way that she stuttered her words were heavenly, you knew you had her where you wanted.When you reached her pulse point you bite down roughly and sucked at the area until you were sure that blood rushed to the surface. You usually weren't allowed to leave hickies on her since she had work, but due to her winning the last election she had gotten a lot more time off to relax and that meant staying home a little longer with you.

Ally laced her hands through your hair as you marked her beautiful skin, while she pulled at your roots for every bite you made. An almost silent whimper escaped Ally's lips, a small indication that she wanted more. Over the months of being together you learnt the little signs she gave when she wanted something. One of the ways being the way she would begin to chew on her nails when she is hungry or the way that she would start to clean when she is stressed, you learned Ally inside out and you loved every inch of her.

With every kiss you bestowed upon her soft skin, you whispered a small ' i love you'. It was soft but Ally was close enough to hear every word. She cherished these moments with you, the way you managed to make every second with her something special and memorable. It was something she held dearly to her heart. As you trailed your lips lower and lower, the coldness in the room made her skin pebbled, the hairs on her body stood up as well with the more kisses you left on her. Touching and caressing every freckle that beautified her body. She was a walking masterpiece indeed. And she was yours.

Watching at how cute and desperately her hips bucked for your attention, you adorned her inner thighs with more kisses, spitefully skipping past the area you knew she needed you the most."Please y/n, I needed you since before you came ho-home. I didn't even try anything" her words invoked a fire within you, a fire fueled with desire and passion to please your girlfriend. Especially since she held back for so long. Out of the kindness in your heart, you decided to skip the foreplay and get right to it. Immediately you wrapped your plump lips around her pink bundle of nerves, sucking in sharp bursts to invoke more pleasure. Your girlfriend threw her head back against the pillows below as she laced and entangled her hands into your hair.

Words mixed of profanity and your name were continuously being moaned and whimpered from Ally's mouth. Hearing her curse shot straight heat to your own core. It was sexy, Ally never used words like that even in anger when Ozzy was around. Thank God he wasn't, you silently thanked the universe."oh Yes Y/n Suck it suck it suck it.." her lewd comments caused the flaem inside of you to burn brighter. You softly kitten licked at her clit, bringing your tongue's attention to the dripping arousal that was caused by you. Slipping your tongue pain stalking slow through her swollen pink folds, to gather and collect the sweet arousal you've been waiting to taste for so long. Ally's nails scrapped along your scalp from the sensation of your tongue.

She was basically dripping honey. The aroma.The taste...all of it was addictive and you couldn't get enough. As you lapped at her cunt, the senator, whose legs you were currently between,were clamping down on your head.It'd really be the best way to go out. But you were far from finished."Ally...we seem to have a problem." you spoke from between her legs, your girlfriend parted her legs and looked at you with worry,"what's the problem?".

"It's just that you taste sweeter than the pineapple." the blood rushed to Ally's cheek making her blush."And why's that bad?" she questioned."It's just that I can't get enough.." you smirked in reply as you returned your head to her dripping core. Taking your middle and ring finger, you ran it up her slit to gather her arousal.As you did so, you toyed at her dripping entrance causing Ally to whimper once more, having teased her enough, you plunged your fingers into her pussy.

Immediately her back arched off the bed, the weak springs in the bed creaked as your woman moved in pleasure. Her head twisting and turning on the pillow. Never stopping from moving inside her, you curled your fingers, grazing and caressing her g spot. She was pulling you in, her warm tight muscles begging for more of you as her arousal dripped down your hand. You loved every moment of this."Faster y/n ...fas-" her second orgasm stopped her mid sentence overtaken by loud moans. Hands fisting and gathering your hair in her palms as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her head was empty of everything else but your name which she yelled till high heaven.

Your eyes locked onto her pussy, watching as her sensitive entrance fluttered trying to regain normalcy. You couldn't just lay between her legs watching her delicious essence drip onto the sex stained sheet. Ally was tired from her two highs that she had in a row, but she didn't know you intended to collect the rest of her."Ahh shit y/n baby please- please I can't" she felt you softly lick her, she was now pushing your head away from her center.

Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes as she pleaded, it was the most intense orgasm she has had in a while. Looking up at her you smiled and complied to the words of your girlfriend."Very well baby." You missed moments and times like this, just you and her. Usually after sex she would be off scurrying to finish off some work instead of laying beside you. "Next time you'll get to eat the pineapple. I wanna try it.." Ally spoke seductively yet there was a hint of sleepiness in her voice. You turned your head and took in her disheveled state. Only you got to see the pristine and up tight Ally Mayfair like this... you were lucky and grateful for her.

Your girlfriend shot you a small wink before getting off of the bed and making her way to the bathroom, giving you a full view of her plump naked ass. Swaying her hips as she walked away. That was all yours, and you planned to make it so. The diamond ring tucked away behind your clothes in your dresser held that promise...

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - Chapter 4

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here and chapter 3 here

Read this fic on AO3

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The following week, Azriel read Elain’s messages too many times to admit. He had answered her that “meat banjo” was, indeed, a vile word, and after that, they hadn’t really talked or texted.

He had saved her number as “Elain”, which had felt weirdly private. As if they were friends, which they were not. He was just her friendly helper, and she was his remedy for nightmares.

However, even though they didn’t know each other, Azriel felt an odd sensation in his chest when he thought about her. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was missing her, which was absurd. But the tight little knot in his chest felt very much like longing. He tried to tell himself that this was weird and stupid. He knew that he had a crush on her (even though he hated to admit it), but he could also see that it was a pointless crush. She was an internet sensation, he was a boring IT guy. She was light and happiness and flowers, he was dark and brooding. She made people smile, he made people uncomfortable. And then there was the practical side of things. They had met on the internet. She probably lived on the other side of the country. Hell, she could even live in a different country for all he knew. She might have a partner already - it’s not like he asked. And, last but not least, she probably didn’t have a crush on him.

Before talking to her on the phone, he had just thought that she was a pretty girl that deserved kindness. But after their phone call, he had definitely developed a crush. Which was another reason why he hadn’t texted her. He didn’t want to bother her and he didn’t want to have this crush. He wanted to stop feeling like this for a girl he would never see in real life. Yet, every night before bed, he found himself on her youtube page, watching one of her many videos.

She uploaded a new video to Youtube every Friday, so when Friday came around, Azriel was itching to get home so he could go to sleep (he told himself that he was looking forward to sleeping and not to seeing her face).

However, he had an entire workday to get through first. The office was mostly an open landscape and Azriel’s desk was next to Cassian’s. The only person with his own office was Rhysand, which was fair since he was the owner of the company. At two in the afternoon, Rhys poked his head out of his office.

“You guys are still coming for dinner this weekend, right?”

“Yeah,” Azriel and Cassian answered in unison.

“I told Feyre that I would help her with the food,” Azriel continued.

Rhys looked like he was going to kiss Azriel. “Oh, god. Thank you, man. I was scared that we would have to repeat the Christmas dinner,” he said and shuddered.

Feyre hated to cook and Rhys did most of the cooking at home, but for some inexplicable reason, she always wanted to cook for holidays or family dinners. To everyone’s dismay. Christmas had been no exception. She had burned the turkey, added salt instead of sugar to the dessert and somehow managed to buy the wrong berries for her cranberry sauce. Luckily, Rhys had been prepared and bought a few frozen pizzas and some ice cream, so the day wasn’t that much of a disaster, but nobody wanted to brave Feyre’s cooking again.

“Why don’t you just cook?” Cassian asked without looking up from his screen.

“You know that she kicks me out if I so much as go near the kitchen when we have these family dinners. And since she started the hormone treatment, she has been a bit bitchy when she gets mad, so I’ll just do whatever she says.”

Azriel chuckled. He could tell from Rhysand’s tone that Feyre had been more than “a bit” bitchy.

“I don’t understand why she lets Azriel help, though…”

“Maybe because she knows that I’ll tell her to sit down with a glass of wine and a magazine, and then she can take all of the credit for the food?”

“Fair enough.” Rhys shrugged. “Just burn the food a little bit, or it won’t be believable.”

Cassian snorted. “No one would believe that something edible was made by your wife. Sorry.”

“She does make a great green smoothie, though,” Rhys grinned and held up his glass.

Azriel and Cassian looked at each other and had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing. The smoothie looked vile and smelled even worse.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Rhys went back to his office for an important phone call. “See you on Saturday,” he reminded them before closing the door.

Azriel and Cassian worked in silence for the remainder of the day.

When Azriel came home that evening, he made a quick pasta carbonara to eat in front of the TV. He was re-watching New Girl. It was his comfort show and absolutely nobody knew that he watched it (and had watched it multiple times). He would take that information with him to the grave. But it was fun and cute and sometimes he liked to imagine his friends as characters in the show. Cassian was probably Schmidt, because Nesta was one hundred percent Cece. Feyre was Jess, which meant that Rhys was Nick. And then there was Azriel. He wanted to say that he was a very cool character, but most characters on this show weren’t cool, and also, he was definitely Winston. Alone with a cat - sounds about right , Azriel thought to himself as he finished his bowl of pasta.

When the episode ended he just waited for the next to start. He didn’t have any plans for the night and nowhere to be. His phone vibrated where he had left it on the kitchen counter. He ignored it, feeling too lazy to get up. But then it vibrated again. With a sigh, he got up. He expected to see a text from Mor telling him to bring wine tomorrow, or maybe a strange meme from Cassian. What he didn’t expect was to see Elain’s name on his screen.

He could feel his heart in his throat as he read her messages.

Elain Hey, Shadowsinger. I’m uploading a new video soon. You should watch it!

Elain I hope that message didn’t sound creepy? I just meant that I think you might like it.

Azriel’s hands were sweaty.

Azriel You didn’t sound creepy at all. Of course, I’ll watch your video. May I ask what I can expect from it?

Just seconds later, Elain answered.

Elain You can ask, but I might not tell ;)

Azriel Should I be worried?

Elain Haha, no! I think it turned out great. You were my inspiration :)

Azriel could feel himself blush. He had never been someone’s inspiration before.

Azriel So, I’m your muse? ;)

Oh god, was that too flirty? Was the winky-face too much? He wished that he could take back the message.

Elain For tonight, yes!

Azriel stared at his phone, unsure of what to answer. Luckily, Elain wrote to him again.

Elain What are you doing tonight?

Azriel Nothing. Just eating pasta and watching TV. How about you?

Elain That sounds amazing. I have been editing this video for hours so I’m just tired and cranky, haha. I have just ordered a pizza and I think I’ll just eat it in bed as soon as this video has finished uploading. What did you watch?

Azriel If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Elain Oh, intriguing! Is it trashy drama? I bet it’s Grey’s anatomy! Or maybe… Love Island?

Azriel stared at his phone. Did she really think that he would watch something like Love Island?

Azriel I watched New Girl, okay. Don’t tell anyone.

Elain Your secret is safe with me! Also, I love New Girl! Especially Winston!

It felt as if someone was squeezing Azriel’s heart.

Azriel Really? Which character would you be?

Elain My pizza is here so I am going to put all of my electronics in a different room and eat my pizza while reading a good book. It was great talking to you, Azriel! Please tell me what you thought of the video when you have watched it.

Elain Oh, and I would probably be Winston’s cat. lol

Azriel almost dropped his phone. If he had to be alone with a cat for the rest of his life, he would definitely want Elain to be his cat , he thought to himself. Which was a weird thing to think about someone you didn’t know. Azriel dropped his head to his kitchen counter and took a deep breath before replying.

Azriel It was great talking to you too, Elain. Enjoy your dinner and your book :)

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to. Azriel was going to be thinking about her for the rest of the night anyway.

30 minutes later, he got a notification telling him that Flower Girl ASMR had uploaded a new video. The video was called “ASMR for IT-guys”, which made him chuckle. He clicked the video and Elain’s beautiful face filled his screen again.

“Hello, my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies,” she whispered in her microphone. “This week’s video will be a bit different,” she continued, slowly moving her hands in front of the camera. “This video was inspired by my friend who recently helped me with some computer-related issues, issues, issues.”

Azriel loved it when she repeated words like that. And he liked that he somehow was a part of this video. It was something that connected them. Azriel paused the video and got into bed, knowing fully well that he would probably fall asleep soon if he kept watching this.

He pressed play again. “So, today, I thought that we would try a few computer-related triggers. I have a keyboard here,” she said and started typing on a keyboard that was out of view. “I thought that I would say a few trigger words while typing them.”

She smiled at the camera and pressed a few more keys. “I just wrote my friend’s name, but you won’t get to know who he is. But you know who you are. Thank you for your help!”

Azriel felt all warm inside.

She continued the video. “The first trigger word is IP address ”. Azriel laughed as she repeated the word multiple times while typing quickly.

“And then we have, laptop, laptop, laptop,” she continued, and Azriel felt shivers go down his spine when she popped the p’s.

Azriel had never thought that he would fall asleep to someone whispering “HTML coding” in his ears, but here he was. Relaxed and ready to sleep.

All thanks to Flower Girl ASMR.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The next day, Azriel texted Elain that he had loved the video. He waited for hours, but no reply came. Maybe she just wanted to repay me for helping her? Azriel thought. Maybe she would stop talking to him now that he had seen the video.

The thought of never talking to Elain again made him feel a new kind of ache in his chest. An ache he didn’t want to feel. This stupid crush needs to end, he muttered to himself as he started to scrub his kitchen counter. He tried to ignore the feeling by keeping busy. He cleaned his apartment and did some laundry before heading over to his friends’ house.

Rhys greeted him by the door and ushered him inside.

“She started cooking like 15 minutes ago, please save whatever can be saved,” he whispered to Azriel. Azriel chuckled and made his way to the kitchen. On the way there, he passed the living room and stopped to greet his friends. He saw most of them on a daily basis because of work, but he was still happy to see them. Cassian and his fiancée Nesta sat close together on one of the green velvet couches. On the opposite couch sat Mor and Amren. Mor was one of the journalists at Velaris News, and Amren was an editor. They had known each other for years. Amren and Rhys had studied together at university, and Mor was Rhysand’s cousin. Once upon a time, Azriel had a crush on Mor. One night after one too many glasses at Rita’s he confessed his feelings to her and she had looked horrified. He had expected her to tell him that she didn’t fancy him and leave it at that, but instead, she had blurted “I like girls!”

Azriel was the first person she ever came out to, and he had felt honored. He also knew now that they wouldn’t have worked out together in the long run (even if Mor had been straight). They were just too different. She was energetic and outgoing and fun, he needed peace and quiet. But she was still one of his very best friends.

Amren on the other hand, he didn’t know as well. She had always been very private, but she was damn good at her job.

“Where’s Varian tonight?” Azriel asked Amren, trying to make small talk.

“How should I know?” she answered quickly. “I’m not his mother.”

Cassian stared at her. “But you are his girlfriend?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like to label things.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. Amren had lived with Varian for the past two years, but she was still reluctant to tell anyone about their relationship.

Azriel made his way into the kitchen, and from what he could tell, he made it just in time.

“What are you making, Feyre?” he asked, because truthfully, he couldn’t tell.

Feyre turned around quickly as if he had startled her. “Oh, hi Az,” she said and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

Something was burning.

“I was trying to make lamb chops with glazed carrots, roasted potatoes, and salsa verde, but…” she gestured to the stove, which looked like a disaster.

Azriel chuckled. “That’s ambitious.” He lifted the lid from one of the pots and could clearly see that she had overcooked the lamb 10 minutes ago. Also, why had she made them in a pot, and not a frying pan? It would be inedible.

The potatoes were still in the sink, unpeeled.

She gave him a strained smile. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” Azriel put the grocery bag he had brought with him on the kitchen island. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” She sounded desperate.

“Please, for the love of god, let Rhys cook when we come over. You really don’t have to show off. You are good at many things, Feyre. But cooking is unfortunately not one of them.”

She nodded. “I know,” she sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island and buried her face in her hand. “I just...I need to be able to cook when I become a mother.”

Azriel took her hand in his. “You really don’t. Nobody expect fathers to be good at cooking, so why should every mother be good at it? Honestly, just let Rhys cook while you play with the kids.”

She smiled at him. “That actually sounds amazing,” she sighed.

“Right?”

Azriel started to pull out some ingredients from the bag on the kitchen island. He held up the tomatoes and the spaghetti, “How about some pasta arrabbiata with burrata?”

“Sounds fancy.”

He shrugged. “Everything sounds fancier in a different language. It’s just pasta with a spicy tomato sauce, and burrata on top.”

“Whatever you make will probably be better than that mess,” she said and glanced towards the stove. Azriel couldn’t disagree.

“Probably,” he laughed and got to work. Azriel placed all the pots and pans in the sink and started chopping the vegetables for the sauce, and in just 30 minutes, dinner was served.

“You are my hero,” Feyre said and kissed his cheek as she carried the big bowl of pasta to the dining room.

Everyone had already gathered around the table, wine glasses in hand. As Azriel sat down, Mor poured him some wine.

“This looks amazing,” Nesta said and Cassian nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, Az helped a little,” Feyre said and winked at Azriel.

“Just a bit,” Azriel said and took a sip of wine.

The conversation (and wine) flowed freely, as it always did. Cassian and Nesta told them about their wedding plans, Mor gushed about Emerie, a girl she was dating, and Feyre told them about life as a high school art teacher. Azriel would never understand how anyone could choose to spend their days with teenagers, but Feyre loved it.

After two bottles of wine, Nesta and Mor were in an argument about which animal was the cutest.

“No, I am telling you, Sloths are cuter than any animal ever,” Mor exclaimed. “Have you seen their dopey little faces?”

“Sloths? Really?” Nesta looked at her as if she had suggested that the sky was green. “Red pandas are way cuter! They are cute and cuddly, Sloths just look like every single stoner I went to high school with.”

They had been at it for 10 minutes, which Azriel found to be quite impressive.

“Can you both just shut up?” Amren gritted out. “The cutest animals are koalas. They’re even cute when they fight. I am right, you are wrong. Please stop this meaningless discussion before I die from boredom.”

Nesta and Mor looked at Amren, and then at each other.

“We obviously have to see Koalas fight if you want us to end this conversation,” Mor said.

Nesta nodded. “Obviously. Give me your phone, Az,” she said and reached for his phone.

“Why do you need my phone?”

“Because mine is dead and yours is right there on the table. Also, your screen is big and we need to watch this in full HD, for obvious reasons.”

Azriel huffed a laugh, unlocked his phone, and handed it to Nesta.

She clicked the Youtube app, and then her face fell. She looked at Azriel as if he was an alien, and then she showed the phone to Cassian who looked at him with the same facial expression.

What the hell had they found?

He didn’t have anything weird on his phone. And he sure as hell didn’t watch porn on it.

“What?” Azriel asked, and Nesta turned the phone.

Fuck. The last video he had watched was still loaded on Youtube, and of course, it was Elain’s latest video.

“What the hell is this?” Nesta asked, almost looking angry.

Azriel didn’t understand why she found ASMR so wrong, but he desperately wanted to explain himself.

“Well, it’s ASMR. It’s kind of… well, it’s hard to explain, but it helps me sleep and– “

Nesta interrupted him before he could finish. “I know what ASMR is. I am wondering why you are watching Elain?”

Azriel stared at Nesta in shock. Did she also like Elain’s videos? But that wouldn’t explain the anger and confusion.

“Do you...know her?” Azriel asked.

“Yes, we went to university together. She’s our florist for the wedding. She was the florist at their wedding, too,” Nesta answered and gestured towards Rhys and Feyre. “Surely you have met her?”

Azriel could do nothing but shake his head in confusion. If he had ever met Elain, he would have known. You didn’t forget a face like hers.

“Please tell me you’re not stalking her like some creep, Az. Honestly, her last boyfriend was the world’s biggest asshat.”

“I’m not stalking her,” Azriel blurted out. “I’m just watching her videos to fall asleep, I promise. I– I didn’t know that you knew her.”

Nesta eyed him suspiciously. “So, is this just a coincidence?”

He nodded. “Weirder things have happened,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nesta glanced at Cassian, and then back at Azriel. “Fine,” she said after a small eternity. “You would probably be cute together anyway. Sorry for insinuating that you would be a stalker.” She really did look remorseful. “That wasn’t fair. I’m just very protective of her. She’s the nicest girl, but she has horrendous taste in men.”

Azriel couldn’t answer, because his mind was still stuck on the fact that Nesta said that they would be cute together. He wanted to ask Nesta why she thought that. He kind of also wanted to ask her if Elain lived here in Velaris, and what her favorite movie was, and if she, by any chance, had a boyfriend. But he refrained, he didn’t want to sound like a stalker.

“So, what the fuck is ASMR?” Cassian asked. “Is it like porn?”

Before Azriel could answer, Rhys said “It’s like porn for your ears, I guess,” and then the entire table was laughing.

“Nesta,” Feyre said when the laughter had died down. “Does Elain still have that cute, little shop on River Street?”

“Mhm,” Nesta answered and took a sip of her wine.

Azriel could kiss Feyre for asking. And if he wasn’t mistaken, he could see her wink in his direction before raising her water glass to her lips.

Azriel walked home that evening with a million thoughts in his head.

He made a list in his head:

Elain lived in Velaris

River Street was literally a 10-minute walk from his home.

Nesta thought that they would be cute together

This meant nothing

She probably didn’t even like him back

Just because they were in the same city, it didn’t mean that they would ever meet.

This was still just a crush

And it was probably one-sided

She hadn’t even answered his latest text message.

And as if on cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Elain I’m sorry that I didn’t answer you earlier. I’ve been at work all day. We had a leak in the basement and everything was just chaos. I haven’t even checked my phone until now.

He mentally scratched number 9 from his list.

Azriel No worries! Did you fix the leak?

Azriel checked the time on his phone: 23.30

Had she dealt with this leak until now?

Elain Yes! But so many flowers were ruined (I’m a florist) and I had to remake a few arrangements for a wedding that’s coming up.

Elain I’m sorry. You probably don’t care. I’m happy that you liked the video :)

Azriel wanted to tell her that he did care. That everything she said was interesting to him. He would probably even find her Starbucks order fascinating. But that bordered on stalker behavior.

Azriel Again, no worries! Sometimes when you’ve had a bad day, you just need someone to vent to.

Elain Exactly! Thank you for letting me vent :) This day is finally over!

There was a selfie attached to the last message.

Elain was standing in front of a big window surrounded by flowers. She was wearing a white, oversized shirt and her hair was in a messy bun. She looked tired but happy. She was giving him ‘thumbs up’ in the photo and through the window, he could see the Sidra. They were indeed in the same city. It made him both happy and nervous.

Elain Sweaty but happy to be heading home :)

Azriel received that last message when he walked through the door to his apartment. What the hell was he supposed to answer?

But then he thought back to Nesta’s words.

You would probably be cute together.

So he took a deep breath and gathered all his courage.

Azriel You still look beautiful though

He stared at his phone. Would she answer? Would she block him? Would she tell him to stop being a creep?

Elain Thank you :) What do you look like? I might have forgotten ;)

Okay. That was flirty. Even Azriel could tell that that was a flirty text message, and he was usually oblivious to such things. He quickly walked to his bathroom (it was the room with the best lighting). He checked his shirt (no stains) and mussed with his hair.

“Good enough,” he muttered, and snapped a selfie.

Before he could chicken out, he sent it to her.

Within seconds, he received a reply.

Elain Beautiful!

[babymilkawa]

are your requests open? if so can i get bakugou, kiri, shinsou and sero (or anyone) surprising their s/o with a puppy they’ve always wanted? or their s/o coming home with a puppy without telling the boys ? thank you !! n happy valentine’s day

this is so cute!! My requests are almost open lol and if they’re not, it’ll show up on my pinned post ^^ And happy belated Valentine’s Day to you too anon <33 make sure to take care of urself 🤍

surprise puppy headcanons with:

bakugou katsuki, kirishima eijiro, shinsou hitoshi, sero hanta

gn!reader :)

bakugou katsuki

he knows that you’ve been looking on adoption sites for dogs

you haven’t actually brought up the topic to him yet, unsure of what his response would be

it just so happened that your anniversary was coming up and bakugou couldn’t think of a better gift for you

he didn’t mean to be snooping around but he had searched your history and noticed one tab that you just never deleted

it was a a little puppy, about 2 months old and bakugou had a feeling that this was the one

sharing the site to his own laptop, he booked an appointment to adopt immediately

he had to choose between taking you to the adoption center or straight up bringing the puppy home

the latter seemed better though

so it’s the day before and your boyfriend is leaving it at your neighbors place so he can pick it up the next morning

he wanted you to wake up to the puppy

smiling at the thought, bakugou entered into the home you shared and greeted you at the door

“How was your day, babe?” you asked

“not too bad, you?”

you yawn and stretch and tell him of your day’s activities

then he asks what you want to do for your anniversary tomorrow

“Hmm maybe keep it lowkey this year? hang out at home?” you asked hesitantly, unsure of whether he wanted to do something more

but bakugou thought it was perfect

you could spend the whole day with your new puppy

the night before, as you laid cuddled to his side, bakugou stared at the ceiling until a thought occurred to him

what if you hadn’t told him about wanting a dog because you weren’t sure urself? No but you never closed that tab

You must’ve really wanted it

he just wished that you could’ve told him

he didn’t want you to hold yourself back for his sake

you were always so selfless and thoughtful of him

he hoped that tomorrow and in the years ahead, he can show you just how much he appreciates you

it’s 5 am and bakugous slipping out of bed

he makes sure you’re warm before leaving the house, careful to not make any noise

he knocks on the neighbors door and they hand him the puppy in its cage

at home, bakugou takes out the box he’s pre-wrapped and places the puppy inside it

it starts to squirm a little, now that it’s finally out of its cage but bakugou holds it still, petting its head to calm it down

the puppy was quick to obey and he let out a sigh of relief

carrying the large box to your room, bakugou froze when he saw you come out

“huh? what’s that, babe?” You say, sleepily

“just go back to sleep y/n” he said, placing the box down

he ushered you back in bed and you tried to pull him down with you, whining when he protested

“I gotta do something real quick, ok? I’ll be back”

thanking the heavens that you were facing the opposite direction as the door, he slipped the box right next to it

there was still a couple of hours until you would agree to start the day so bakugou joined you under the covers and pulled you close

he must’ve been exhausted because when he woke up, you had a little blob laying on your chest

“oh my god, katsuki!!” your face was split into a wide smile and the puppy was happily playing around with you

bakugou’s eyes widened and cursed out loud

“sorry babe, we were supposed to open it together. I must’ve overslept”

“Aww it’s ok katsu, I woke up to this little ball of sunshine here”

it must’ve jumped out of its box, he thought

“But how did you know that this was the exact one I wanted?” You asked

he shyly rubbed the back of his neck, “you had that tab open for ages”

the puppy continued to bounce in your arms and bakugou admired the smile on your face

leaning in for a kiss, he said, “happy anniversary baby”

kirishima eijiro

you had gone to the adoption center just to look around while your boyfriend was at work

you really hadn’t meant to actually commit to it when you saw the most cutest puppy ever

it was even clinging on to you, surely it was perfect

and your boyfriend also seemed to really like dogs so you really just said why not?

it was a pretty big impulsive purchase but you knew he wouldn’t mind

it was for the both of you after all

bringing it home, you couldn’t wait to think of names with your boyfriend, knowing that he’d come up with really creative ones

kirishima still had a couple hours left of work so you decided to pass the time with your new friend

you set up its bed and its food, all while having the puppy follow you around the house

you were in the closet at the back of the house, rummaging for a blanket when you noticed that your puppy wasn’t right behind you any more

not having a name for it yet, you weren’t sure how to call out for it

so you decided to just look for it yourself

it wasn’t until you were closer to the front of the house did you hear the sound of your boyfriend laughing

“eiji?”

he was holding the puppy in his arms and it was licking his face, causing him to laugh in response

it was such a cute sight, you had to snap a picture

“what’s his name, hun?” He asked

“haven’t decided yet. I was hoping you’d have some good ones”

“How long have you been planning this? There’s no special occasion is there?”

“I went to the center for fun and I decided to just get it”

“Good choice” he laughed

“so you got any names?”

he set the puppy down and it whined, looking up at him

“I was thinking d/n?”

it was perfect

calling its new name out, the puppy immediately turned its attention to you, leaping into your arms

“aww” your boyfriend said, before wrapping you both into a hug and picking you up

shinsou hitoshi

so we know he’s more of a cat person

but after seeing how much you interact with dogs and gush about them, he decided to surprise you with one

it was shinsou’s day off but you still had to work so he took that chance to visit the adoption center

before when he had asked you what kind of dog you wanted if you were to ever get one, you told him your favorite types, including gender

luck seemed to be on his side because he found the exact same breed you liked

it was a much younger one though, only being a few months old

excited to see your reaction, shinsou signed the papers and brought your new puppy home

he also figured that since you seemed to be stressed and overworking yourself, this was the perfect present

there was no special occasion but hey, couldn’t he just spoil his s/o?

by the time you came home, the puppy was asleep but away from your line of vision

your boyfriend kissed you hello and took your belongings

he could see how exhausted you were and part of him was glad that the puppy wasn’t jumping around right now

hopefully you could play with it when you had more energy

“you hungry y/n?”

“no just come here please” you made grabby hands at him and he laid on the couch with you

he ran his fingers through your hair and gave you a small peck on both your eyelids

you were about to fall asleep when you heard small, high pitched barks and the sound of paws on a hardwood floor

sitting up, you looked straight in the face of your new puppy

“toshi...?”

“that’s for you babe. I know you’ve been stressed out recently so I thought it would help”

“but I thought we agreed to get a cat?”

“you wanted to get a cat for me. But I know you like dogs better babe”

“aww” you pulled him into a hug and he kissed the top of your head

the puppy, wanting to be included, jumping in between you two and snuggled his way in

as it got settled on your lap, you gave your boyfriend a thank you kiss

sero hanta

sero’s birthday was coming up and you had no idea what to get him

you couldn’t think of anything your boyfriend had said he wanted recently

until you guys were talking about his boss’s anniversary with his wife and how she got him a golden retriever

a lightbulb binged in ur head

that’s what you’d get him

trying to not reveal your plans, you asked him what kind of dog he’d want

he was open to anything really

so you went straight to the adoption center the next day and you decided to find one you’d like too because your boyfriend was ok with any kind

after hours of playing with each dog, you settled on a small puppy

it had been sleeping on your lap the entire time until you brought out snacks the staff gave

it woke up immediately and obeyed when you told it to “sit” and “jump”

driving back home, you were satisfied and picked up a cake for the celebration tomorrow

you decided to just give the puppy early and have the cake on his actual birthday

when sero came home, he called out for you, receiving no response

thinking that you must be busy, he went into the kitchen to feed his stomach

turning around with a sandwich in his mouth, you popped up from the corner and held the puppy up, a cute ribbon tied to its neck

“tadaaa”

he looked at you and dropped his sandwich, his face lighting up

he pumped his fists in the air and yelled “hell yea we got a puppy!”

you let him scoop it from your arms and it’s snuggling up to him immediately, licking the remainders of his sandwich from the corner of his mouth

picking up the sandwich your boyfriend dropped, you set up dinner while listening to the joyful sounds of your boyfriend playing with his new puppy

bnha masterlist

[btsslowburnfic]

-The Arrangement- Chapter 1

Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable add. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter summary: Let’s meet our lovely [Y/N]. Every good story starts somewhere. Buckle up for the next few months babes <3 

Chapter 1

“Nope, sorry, I have to get to my other job.” You politely declined getting after-work drinks with your colleagues like usual. It was nice of them to still invite you even though you never said yes. 

You excused yourself to the company restroom. Out with the office worker, in with the bartender. You switched shirts, put your hair up in a ponytail, and applied heavier make-up. You'd switch out your skirt when you got to the club. As dumb and gross as it was, you always made more money when you wore your questionably short shorts. Oh well, money is money. 

You sent a quick text to your brother to make sure he and your sister got to your aunt's apartment and then headed for the station. Ok. How much money do I need to make tonight? You asked yourself as you opened the banking app. You mentally calculate the amount needed to feed your siblings, pay for the bus, and utilities. Ugh Maybe Park Minho will let me stay for him tonight. He usually wanted to get out of work early to go hang out with his friends. You would be ok this week if you stopped taking the bus and ate more ramen and less real food. You sighed. You were so tired.

You walked through the black glass doors of Club Tokki. There were only a few customers right now and you immediately went to see if anyone had made coffee. Work coffee=free coffee. Luckily for you, Lisa, the woman who worked the day shift almost always needed an extra dose of afternoon caffeine and there was still enough for a cup.

“Hey doll!” Lisa greeted you. “Here, I brought some milk in as well,” she said as she poured the coffee for you.

“You are a lifesaver. Thank you so much.” You gratefully took the mug, warming your hands. 

“No problem, do you need me to do anything before I leave? I’m going to close out with those two groups first.” She asked as she rinsed off some pint glasses.

You assessed the bar looking to see what you might need over the next few hours. “Yeah, ask the bar-back to get two more bottles of Goose and a bottle of Crown. We usually go through those on Wednesdays. And maybe cut a few limes and lemons. Thanks.” You took the coffee with you to the small office and finished changing clothes. Lisa was a student so she shared your need for thrifty living, coffee, and work. You didn’t have many friends, but you knew you could count on Lisa for caffeine and getting the bar prepped. 

You walked back out to the bar, mentally preparing yourself for the night ahead. In a few minutes people like your office coworkers would stream in, treating each other to after work drinks, socializing, and networking. You used to wonder if your circumstances were different if you would be the type of person who went out after work and socialized with their colleagues. You had come to the realization that “no” you wouldn’t. You would probably go home and sleep. Maybe read. You sighed and shimmied behind the bar as Lisa started to count down the drawer. "Alright, I asked the barback for the alcohol and there's 2 cups of lines and lemons." 

"Thanks a lot babe. See you tomorrow." you waved at her and started to move stuff around to where you liked it. 

"Happy money making." she smiled and headed out. 

As predicted about half an hour later, office workers start to show up and the bar is slowly starting to fill up. Club Tokki is known for its laid back vibe so it's mostly beers and "and" drinks. Whisky and coke. Vodka and soda. Occasionally there were some younger girls here that ordered the more complicated drinks. But you got those out as well; this wasn't the first bar you'd ever worked at, just the latest incarnation. And just like that, the night starts to speed up. Minho arrives two hours into your shift for the after-dinner rush.

“Just in time dude,” you greeted him as he walked behind the bar.

“What do you need?” He asked as he clocks in for the night. 

“The bar is caught up if you want to go check section one. Shinhye has the rest of the floor.” You instructed him and used this opportunity to catch up on cleaning dishes. You caught one of the guys at the end of the bar staring at you. He was definitely good looking, and stood out with his expensive suit, silver hair, and strong facial features. Whatever. As long as he tips. You were not looking for a boyfriend. Or a hookup. You cringed at the thought of even trying to navigate dating between your work schedule and also living with your Aunt as a grown ass woman. You shook your head like it would get rid of the thought. Satisfied with the current state of the bar you took a minute to drink some water and scan the club. There were worse places you could work for sure. 

Minho came back to the bar and asked you to make some shots while he grabs some beers. Grape bombs? Is this 2012? You resisted the urge to gag, having gotten sick on them when you were younger. You placed the drinks on his tray and checked the bartop once again.

Mr. Expensive Suit dimple-face was nursing a Goose and soda. “You doing ok?” you asked him as you made your way down the bar. 

“I’m great. Thanks. What’s your name?”

“[Y/N]” you responded and started to move on to your next guest. 

“This is the part where you ask my name.” he said arrogantly. Suddenly you did not care for him as much.

“Is it? I’ve never talked to someone in a bar before. I didn't realize there was a script.” you responded sarcastically. You hated it when guys thought they could manipulate you. 

“Wow. Ok. Ok. Hard to get. I respect that. I’m Kim Namjoon.” 

“Ok Mr. Kim, is there anything else I can get for you right now?” you asked, oh so sweetly.

“No. I’m good for now.” he said, laughing to himself. He shook his head incredulously and sipped his drink.

Well maybe you weren’t going to get tipped after all. Oh well. 

The rest of the night was mostly a blur. The vodka special brought in quite a few people and you ended up going through four bottles of Goose. Mr. Kim Dimples remained, nursing only his second drink now and still staring at you even though he was trying hard to not look like he was staring. It was awkward. He was hot but sooo not your type. Which you thought you had made clear.

“Mr. Kim, are you sure you even like Goose and soda?” you teased him as you made another round checking on people. 

“You know, I am more of a beer drinker myself, but I can’t pass up a good vodka special.” he leaned to the side, getting out his wallet, and pulled out a business card.

“[Y/N], I’d like for you to take this.” he stuck it between his index and middle finger, holding it out for you to take.

“I am flattered, Mr. Kim, but I’m not interested in anything like that.” you smiled politely. 

He rolled his eyes at you.  “Believe me, I’m not asking you on a date. You are so not my type,” he said with an air of disgust. As though he was repulsed that you would have even thought he would consider asking you out. “This is a job opportunity. I work for a talent agency of sorts.”

Wow. What a dick. “Oh yeah? What talent do you see?” you gesture to yourself. “I do pour some stiff drinks and can usually tell rude guys to fuck off with a smile on my face.”

To your surprise he just laughed. “You are very funny. And I suppose some people would find you attractive. Just take the card. I think you’re the best candidate I’ve found yet.” he stood up and put on his suit jacket, sitting the business card down on the bartop.

“Rude.” you casually said, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"Well, it makes no difference to me if you accept or not. Regardless, there it is." He gestured to the card, and sat down way too much money on top of it. "Keep the change." He turned and left.  

You didn’t end up closing for Minho; the two of you both stayed since it remained steady through closing time. You were weirded out by the conversation with Mr. Kim, but having worked in a bar for the past 7 years, it wasn't the weirdest thing that had ever happened to you. You threw  the business card into your purse and forgot about it for the rest of your shift.

The remainder of the night passed without incident. As much as you disliked it, that weirdo's money helped make sure you could take the bus again the next few days. You stuffed your tips into your purse and walked home. Well. To your aunt's house. It didn't really feel like home. Just a temporary landing spot until you and your siblings could get your own place again. 

You entered quietly and washed your hands. You dutifully went through your siblings school bags, making sure their supplies and homework were where they should be. You packaged their lunches as much as you could and started a fresh batch of rice for tomorrow. All mostly in the dark so you didn't wake anyone up. Your brother was sleeping on the couch, which you hated, but he insisted on it. You were sharing the guest bedroom with your sister and your niece.

You grabbed your laptop and curled up in the corner of the kitchen to not bother anybody. I’m a 27 year old loser hiding on the floor of my Aunt’s apartment in the middle of the night. I have to wake up in 5 hours for my other job and instead I’m going to look up a website that some weird ass rude hot guy at a bar gave me. Why is this my life? You thought, and yet you pulled out the business card and entered the link. It took you to a black website with a white box asking for a code. You flipped the card over, and there it was, handwritten. You type it in and wait for the website to load, convinced it’s going to be some weird porn site with fisting or crush videos. You almost cover your eyes but to your pleasant surprise it’s a normal website. 

Seeking: a suitable adult woman for long-term companionship. Will be well compensated. Serious inquiries only. 

The text continued: If you are on this website, congratulations. You have already presented the basic level qualifications for this position. 

Ok. So maybe this was an escort service. Which I mean...if it paid better than both of your jobs and you didn’t have to have sex with people maybe you could. No. No. You talked yourself out of it and scrolled down to read more of the description,

Requirements:

Female between the ages of 20 and 40.

Flexibility in schedule

Desire to travel and attend events

Strong personality and interpersonal skills

Proficiency with Microsoft Excel and Word 

Punctuality, attention to detail, and strong organizational skills

Desired but not necessary

Non-smoker/drinks alcohol socially

Like animals 

Enjoy listening to music 

Compensation:

Position requires relocation to on-site premises and therefore covers room and board. 

Monthly stipend (click here for more information pertaining to taxes)

3 meals a day, beverages, and snacks included

Most escort services didn’t require proficiency in Microsoft Word or Excel...you were guessing. Maybe it was a legit job. Like an on-site event planner? You clicked the link contained in compensation and HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A LOT OF MONEY. 

You bit your lip and pulled up your resume. It couldn’t hurt to submit it, right? You didn’t have much to update since you had just started your office job 3 months ago. You updated the resume to include that job and listed your address as Club Tokki’s in case this was actually a sex trafficking set up. You thought about it for a another minute and then uploaded the document, took a deep breath, and hit “send.” NEXT CHAPTER

TAGS: @lidda​

[miastideclock]

Stray Kids Reaction To Their Soft S/O Accidentally Cursing

Hi! May I please get a reaction of Stray kids reacting to their S/O being very shy and soft, but accidentally slips a swear word. Thx love your work! 💞

Word Count: 2157

The length of the bits are quite varying in size, so my apologies for that

Bang Chan

You were sat at a table outside your favorite café during lunch with your lovely boyfriend. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping, only making the early summer day all the better.

"Here is your bagel, as well as your iced latte. And a bagel and americano for you, sir." The waitress spoke as she gently set down your orders. It had been a while since it was just the two of you, so you appreciated him taking the day off for you. With the chaos of their latest comeback, and the fact that he lived with seven other boys- there weren't a lot of time for just the two of you.

"I'm so glad I took the day off to be with you." Chan grinned as he took a bite of his bagel. Being too captivated by his eyes and how much you absolutely adored him, you didn't notice that the waitress had placed your cup down much closer to you than you had imagined. And with that, you knocked your cup over, spilling it all over the table and yourself, drenching your outfit.

"Shit." You let slip as you reached for the napkins. You soon realized what you had said and immediately let your head snap towards your boyfriend. You had never been one to curse, but here you were.

"Please pretend you didn't hear that." You spoke sheepishly as Chan started laughing like a crazy man.

"You should have seen the look on your face when you realized- priceless!" He soon spoke, all while he grabbed more napkins form the dispenser, helping you clean up.

"We're never talking about this again." You spoke in a joking manner, Chan just continuing to chuckle.

Lee Know (Lee Minho)

"Good morning, beautiful." Your boyfriend spoke from next to you. Your entire body screamed for you to just go back to sleep, but you knew it would make Minho sad as you had a whole day planned out.

The night before you and your boyfriend had stayed up late, planning every single detail of your day of fun. You would go to the amusement park downtown, and you would get ice cream, and funnel cake and other park-foods. Then you would go to the movies, and then finish at a restaurant you had been dying to try out.

You pried your eyes open, only for the light to blind you, sending your arms flying to cover them. "Fuck." You muttered, barely audible to yourself. Your boyfriend however, caught it.

"Y/N? What did you say?" Minho's tone was obviously not upset, but he didn't seem to happy either. To him you had always been such a sweet and soft person, one he had never heard curse in the eleven months you had been dating.

You soon realized what you said and sat up in bed faster than lightning, obviously having opened your eyes fully by now. You looked at him, your eyes a bit wider than they usually would be. "That's not very like you." Minho responded in a completely normal tone, getting to his feet from where he was kneeling next to the bed.

"Sorry." You said sheepishly, fiddling with your hands as if you were a child being told off.

"Babe, don't worry. You can say and do whatever you want, I just wasn't expecting it." He chuckled and followed it up with something along the lines of you having to get out of bed to get ready.

"I'll be out in a minute!" You called after him before letting your head fall into your hands in embarrassment.

Changbin (Seo Changbin)

11:47pm

The soft wind from the open window brushed through your hair, but you didn't notice. You were too focused on the task you had in front of you. Your face was illuminated only by the laptop as the clock was soon to strike midnight.

You had worked so hard on a paper, but in the middle of the night, you realized you had forgotten to actually turn it in. Luckily, the deadline was at 12 a.m, but unluckily, your computer was not having it. No matter how much to pressed the upload button, it wouldn't budge.

11:51pm

You felt yourself becoming stressed as you knew that if you didn't turn it in on time, you would fail. You felt movement next to you as your boyfriend took a deep breath. "You okay, sweetie?" Changbin asked with a groggy voice as your fiddling and hard tapping had woken him up.

"Yeah, sorry it just that this bitch of a computer refuses to work." You muttered angrily, your eyes never leaving the screen as you refreshed and tried again. You were so upset with your paper that you didn't even notice that you spoke a word you would usually never use. Changbin wanted to comment on it, but decided to not since you were already so frustrated with the site that wouldn't load.

"Just send it to your professor via email, and tell him the site won't work. He'll see that the timestamp is within the deadline, and he'll have to accept it." Changbin spoke as he sat up to look at your screen. You decided he was right and did as you were told.

When you finally were done, you closed your laptop and placed it on the floor, laying down in the bed next to your boyfriend.

"You know," Changbin started with a whisper. "I've never heard you curse before."

You gave him a weird look and told him he never would either, since that's something you don't do. "No, you cursed just now." He commented again, but you refused to believe him.

"If I cursed, then what did I say and why don't I remember it?" You tried with a scoff. He soon repeated the sentence including the curse you had spoke earlier. You then realized that you had in fact let the word slip. You apologized with a smile, embarrassed as you admitted you we're wrong.

"Don't worry, honey. Let's just go to sleep."

Hyunjin (Hwang Hyunjin)

You ran with everything you had, making your way down the semi-steep hill, trying to escape the hell that followed you. You and your boyfriend had been on a picnic on a hill at your local park, having a good time before all hell broke loose. Two words. Tickle fight.

The grass under your bare feet felt nice, but you didn't have much time to think about it as the one thing on your mind was to escape Hyunjin. You heard the sprinting behind you come closer and closer, making your stomach flip as you knew he was about to catch you. But before he could reach you, an unexpected dip in the ground sent you flying.

You tumbled down the remainder of the hill, luckily there only being soft grass for you to land on. "Holy shit." You groaned as you sat up from the fall, your boyfriend soon by your side to check that everything was alright. As he inspected you of any damage, he let the word "Language." slip. He caught himself and your eyes met, both sets filled with a mix of shock and humor. His comment then made you both laugh.

You had never been one to curse as you were on the shyer side of the spectrum, but your fall had given you more than a valid reason to let the swear slip.

"Wouldn't think I'd hear those words from you. But let's get back to our picnic, shall we?" Hyunjin suggested and reached out his hand for you to grab, and hoisted you to your feet.

Han (Han Jisung)

The sound of rain gently tapping on the wide open window was soothing, and it went well with the smell of nature and the cool air waltzing in the window. 

It was Sunday afternoon, which meant you and Jisung were sitting in the office, doing each your thing. You were sat with a book, whilst your boyfriend sat staring at a sheet of paper displaying lyrics that were crossed out or circled, with arrows going from a to b in a chaotic manner. 

You did this every Sunday, well- not necessarily a book and lyrics, but something. You both did things that you enjoyed or wanted to do, but you did them together. It was your own way of making sure you always had time for each other. 

After a while, the cool air became too chilly for your sockless-feet, so you got up to close it. Without thinking, you got up, your book soon falling from your lap directly onto your pinky toe. 

“Fuuuck.” You dragged out the word you whispered. You soon realized what you said and placed your hand gently over your mouth, as if it would stop your from saying it- like it would change the past. 

You turned to look at your boyfriend, but he hadn’t seemed to notice. You let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding as you saw he didn’t hear. You then picked up the book and placed on the coffee table, the proceeded to close the window. 

About a minute after your slip up, Jisung finally turned around. “Did you say something?” He questioned, making you shake your head no.  “I could have sworn I heard someone curse. Oh well, how’s it going with the main character?” He continued and walked over to the couch you sat in. 

You chuckled at yourself before informing him that they were closing in on the ending of the adventure.

Felix (Lee Felix)

You stared at the words on the paper, but they didn't seem to make sense to you. It was a recipe, you could tell that much- but not anything more than that. You turned to look at your boyfriend, but he looked just as clueless as you.

You finally had the place completely to yourself, which meant date night. You and Felix were planning on making this pastry-thing he had found on TikTok, but it turned out to be more complicated than anticipated.

"I can get the eggs, that much I can promise you I am capable of." You joked as you turned to get the eggs from the fridge. Felix chuckled at you as he kept staring at the recipe. You opened the fridge, but before you could even think about your next move, the carton tumbled out and onto the ground, sending six eggs flying, making a mess everywhere.

"Fucking hell." You mumbled as you glared at the mess by your feet. You let a sigh escape your lips, your head dropping in defeat. You had to admit that your evening didn't exactly go as you had planned. You wanted it to be cute, romantic and perfect in every way! Making food with your boyfriend, laughing and having a grand ol' time. Especially since it only happened once in a blue moon that you had the place entirely to yourself.

"Did I just hear you curse? You've been listening to me game too much!" Felix commented with humor in his tone as he approached you with a mop, ready to clean up your mess. You apologized profusely, but he was quick to stop you. "Don't apologize. What do you say we just order some takeout and watch a movie on the couch? Making your own food is overrated anyways."

His idea brought a smile to your lips as you nodded.

Seungmin (Kim Seungmin)

The breeze blew softly through your hair as you stood on the small balcony, looking at the passing cars on the street beneath you. There wasn't a lot of traffic as it was about twenty minutes past midnight, but you found yourself looking for a specific white van.

The boys had just finished tour, so your were waiting for them at their place, excited to see them- but mostly excited to see your boyfriend.

A big, black van soon rolled to a stop outside the main entrance, sending your stomach into flips. You ran back inside and out in the hallway, sprinting down the stairs as fast as you could. As you were making your way down the last few steps, you heard the door to the lobby open, Seungmin entering first. The sight of your boyfriend made you forget what you were doing, causing you to trip and tumble down the last three steps of the stairs.

"Fuck." You spat as you hit the ground, landing on your shoulder. You boyfriend soon rushed to your side, mumbling something about how you can't say that word, but it also sounded like he wanted himself to shut up.

"You okay, baby?" He asked as he helped you sit up, having squatted down himself. Even though the pain was excruciating, it all seemed to disappear when you looked him in the eye. You nodded and then launched yourself forward and slung your arms around him, attacking him in a hug,  sending you both to the floor for a second time.

"I'm amazing now that you're here. I've missed you." You mumbled into the crook of his neck. "I missed you too."

I.N (Yang Jeongin)

The place was quiet, all except the sound of Chan and your boyfriend, Jeongin, watching a movie on the couch next to you. You was originally watching it with them, but you ended up having a full grooming session with your cat. You had found tons of knots in his fur, so you had gotten your brush and scissors and gotten to work.

The sound of the movie pausing caught your attention, making you look up from the fur-coated project you had in your lap. "I'm just gonna make some tea, y'all want anything from the kitchen?" Chan asked as he stood up from his seat. Both you and your boyfriend shook your heads no.

While Chan was out, Jeongin decided to sit closer to you and ask about your progress, but before you could reply, you apparently pulled too hard on a knot, making your cat squirm- scratching you in the progress. "You bitch." You hissed at the pain, scolding your cat.

It was as if your life flashed by your eyes for a second, then you turned to Jeongin who sat there with a unimpressed look on his face. You gave him a sheepish look, almost as if you were begging for forgiveness.

Jeongin continued to look at him before he slowly started sitting up. "No, babe, please don't-" You started but were soon cut off.

"Hyung, Y/N said a bad word!"

He snitched.

I honestly have no clue what this is, but it deadass took me four days to write im-

i hope you enjoyed it???

I WAS ABOUT TO POST THIS THEN I REALIZED I FORGOT THE ENTIRETY OF JISUNG WHAT TEH FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???

-bentley

[prettywordsyouleft]

MonX Hospital | Hyungwon

Pairing: Chae Hyungwon x reader

Genre: dietitian – hospital au / romance / fluff

Warnings: medical and nutrition terms, a little hint of enemies to lovers but not really enough to label it as that

Word count: 3719

Index: Shownu | Wonho | Minhyuk | Kihyun | Hyungwon | Jooheon | Changkyun

“Holly,” Seungwoo called out and the registered nurse turned around to your group standing there, a bright smile crossing her lips. “Can you give us a hint?”

“Let me guess,” she started, pointing at the four of you with a playful smirk. “Mentoring season?”

“Who’s the best doctor to be assigned to?” Soyou asked earnestly and Jeongmin beside you nodded.

“Give us your expertise from working alongside them all.”

The nurse approached the group of students, folding her arms across her chest. “Well, that would be Doctor Coffee.”

“Doctor who?” Seungwoo questioned, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead. “Ah, don’t mess with us, Holly!”

“I’m serious, tell me who you all got?” the nurse instructed and then once you were all done, you listing over Doctor Chae as your assigned registrar, she looked at you smiling a little more. “Doctor Coffee is the best to learn from, I stand by it.”

“Why is he called that?” you wondered and she patted you on the shoulder, departing your little group with ease.

“You’ll find out!”

You weren’t sure what to expect from Holly’s recommendation, especially since she was referring to a dietitian. Maybe, it was just a fun nickname, and Doctor Chae was known to have a cup of coffee each morning. That didn’t stand out as something to refer to him as, over your several years studying a Bachelor of Science and now wrapping up your Masters in Nutrition and Dietetics, you had become accustomed to coffee as a vice for yourself, and the majority of students and health professionals you crossed paths with regularly. Coffee seemed to be the staple brew in the health industry.

In fact, as you headed towards Doctor Chae’s clinical room the following morning, you were carrying a takeout cup along with your assorted learning tools. Knocking once on his door, you smiled brightly when he called out for you to enter.

“Hello, I’m Y/N,” you greeted, placing your things down so you could wipe off your hand and hold it out to the doctor. He peered at you disinterestedly, barely gripping onto your hand before returning his gaze to the screen. Trying not to be offended, you watched him silently, one hand swishing an iced Americano around whilst the other scrolled over a patient’s file.

Finally, the doctor spoke. “How long are you joining my clinic for?”

“A month.”

“Okay,” he simply replied, going back to his notes.

Waiting for direction, you glanced awkwardly around the room. “Where should I set up?”

“Somewhere that suits your needs best and doesn’t interfere with the patient consultations.”

Was Holly right that learning from such a prickly doctor would be best? You grumbled inwardly knowing the others were no doubt assigned to more approachable staff.

Once the remnants of his cold beverage were finished, you were surprised by the change in activity out of the man. He threw the cup in the trash, stood up and stretched a little, ready for his first patient. The mood in the entire office improved tremendously, as if the last drop of coffee had to be consumed before the doctor kicked into gear.

You perked up by this, sitting up at your little station more eagerly.

And then it was go time.

You were immediately thrown into the issues various patients were having, writing down both your own notes and anything Doctor Chae asked of you. He was incredibly engaging with each session, both with the patient and with you. It was as if you were in a different office than the one you first stepped into.

The young doctor was brimming with knowledge and helpful tips to both you and his clients. He identified issues in their lifestyle and eating plans and explained everything in a way that was informative without sounding too jargon-loaded.

You almost had to wipe your chin for drool at one point; it had hung open in awe for far too long.

The first week of your practical module went by in a blur that it wasn’t until you were starting your next week in Doctor Chae’s office that you picked up on some observations of your mentor.

You had already become accustomed to his indifference in the morning before his first caffeine hit for the day, and there were several other instances where he returned with another cup within his hand from a meeting or lunch, and had even asked when you went to buy yourself a juice if you could get him a coffee whilst at the cafe last Friday. It hadn’t stood out to you as a problem until he sat down with a man in his early 40s who was facing several dietary concerns.

“How many cups of coffee are you drinking throughout the day?”

The man rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “About four to six, depending on the workload.”

“That’s a lot of coffee,” Doctor Chae mentioned and before you could hold it in, a snort left you. Both men within the room glanced at you as you flushed red, apologising quietly and then repositioned your laptop in attempts to deflect the attention away from you. The doctor cleared his throat a little before continuing with his questions for the patient. Once he was done with his diagnostics, he listed off various ways to help the man recover from burnout, lower his stress and support all this with a balanced diet – one in which didn’t include as much caffeine.

And once the patient left the room, Doctor Chae shut the door behind his farewell and turned towards you. “What was that?”

“Huh?”

“The snort within my consultation.”

You smiled guiltily. “Sorry.”

“No, tell me why you snorted exactly.”

“Well,” you started, feeling as if you were balancing on a dangerous edge with how intense Doctor Chae’s gaze was upon you. Still, you decided to use facts. “You had five cups of coffee yesterday.”

“And in your clinical impression of me so far, Y/N, are you mocking me?”

“I just found it interesting that your patient was drinking too much caffeine and as someone who is highly regarded as a nutrition expert, you know how bad it is for you and still do the same.”

“Interesting findings,” he responded curtly, returning to his desk. “What are your recommendations?”

“I uh, I don’t-”

“It was an observation you made over me, and I want to know if you were the doctor and I were the patient, what you would recommend.”

You panicked. “I’m not sure.”

“The right response is to lower caffeine intake slowly, ensure that I’m sleeping well and to look for alternatives to help with energy and any other reasons for why we take in too much caffeine as humans.” The doctor looked back at you questioningly. “Correct?”

“Yes.”

“So what would you recommend for me to drink this afternoon, Y/N?”

“More water, for one.”

“Can you go get me the biggest bottle you can find in this complex then?” he instructed, holding out his card. You stood up and took it with a quick nod, dashing out of the office and started your trek across the building to the café at the entrance.

Bumping into Jeongmin halfway, you let out an exasperated wail. He chuckled. “That bad with Doctor Coffee?”

“I have just made my working environment sour,” you lamented and the fellow student looked at you for further information. “Doctor Coffee doesn’t like being called out for not doing as he preaches. I accidentally snorted during clinical hours at a comment he made about caffeine intake and now he’s tasked me with getting him the biggest bottle of water I can find.”

“Rather you than me. Working with Doctor Laing has been a breeze. She’s so laidback.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled and Jeongmin nudged you playfully. You glowered at the path ahead. “I take back all I said about how much I was enjoying learning under him. He’s a narcissist.”

“Some doctors just don’t know how to take their own advice. Maybe he’s embarrassed that you called him out. I bet not many people have.”

You pondered the option and shrugged. “He could be. It wasn’t intentional.”

“Who knows, you might be good for one another. Him with all his expertise and you with your inability to keep quiet when you find fault.”

“Jeongmin!” you growled as your friend departed your side with a skip in his step. “Just you wait until I next see you!”

“Looking forward to it!” he called out across at the atrium with a fond wave. “Until then, may the water guide you towards clarity and peace!”

You huffed indignantly. Today was going to be a long day.

Doctor Chae did decrease his caffeine intake, at least for the remainder of that week. And whilst you tried really hard to keep your opinions to yourself, given he was prickly towards you for an entire day thereafter, you couldn’t help but find more fault with the dietitian's wellbeing.

He didn’t eat nearly enough, the coffee he did religiously still drink simply sloshing around in an almost empty stomach. He was also incredibly picky for someone who boasted to his patients to try and eat a wide range of food types where applicable.

For a successful dietitian, he was seemingly incapable of taking on his own advice.

“Y/N,” the doctor called out and you blinked out of your thoughts, smiling up at the man standing before you. “Are you going to share your observations?”

“The patient was too focused on weight loss-”

“Not those observations, the ones you’re basically sitting on top of your hands so you don’t spill out.”

“I’d rather, not Doctor Chae.”

“Hm, it must be an authoritative thing,” he muttered and then smiled at you. “Please, refer to me as Hyungwon when it’s just us. There. Now you can tell me.”

You laughed a little. “A name doesn’t take away our roles, Doctor Chae.”

“Hyungwon, please,” he repeated and then sat down on the bed beside your station. “Isn’t it annoying to withhold that information?”

“I’d like to keep working with you.”

“It’s that bad?” he guessed with a sigh, rubbing at his face. “I’ve tried with the coffee thing-”

“You barely eat. And what you do pick up is usually processed and only going to give your sugars a sharp boost and then fall rapidly, causing you to reach for the caffeine again. You don’t seem aware of how unbalanced your diet is, at least within this office and I don’t know if you’re tackling underlying medical conditions or live by a specific diet trend, which you and I both know don’t work for the majority of people and leads to unhealthy eating and medical conditions if overused.”

Hyungwon didn’t say anything for a moment, his arms merely remaining folded across his front. And then he broke into a bashful grin. “Feel better?”

“Oh, you have no idea how much,” you breathed and then blinked, your mouth falling agape. “Doctor Chae, I-”

“It’s easier to focus on others and what they eat,” he announced and you bit back the remainder of your apology. He didn’t seem mad this time, in fact, he was visibly flustered and you wondered if Jeongmin had been right the other week. Hyungwon cleared his throat and continued. “I much prefer making sure others are eating well.”

“Who is going to look out for you then?” you questioned and he became thoughtful before shrugging.

“I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well, its lunchtime right now,” you mentioned, looking at the clock to confirm you were right for his scheduled lunch break. “How about we eat together?”

“Why would you do that? Don’t you meet up with your fellow student friends on break?”

You smiled brightly as you collected your bag. “Today, I’d much rather have lunch with you.”

The doctor was surprisingly out of his element as you dragged him across the road to an eatery, pointing out the different options before settling on a sandwich bar. You insisted that he add more than just meat and cheese to the roll, his uncomfortable expression causing you to giggle when you were seated across from him. “Doctor?”

“It’s very healthy.”

“It should be. A nice balance of carbohydrates, protein and fats. This will keep you going nicely for the rest of the afternoon, don’t you agree?”

“I don’t know if I like you or not, Y/N.”

“Well, I thought the same about you, admittedly,” you confessed, picking up your filled roll with a smile, thinking back to all the times you had worried over your placement in his office. Glancing at the man again, you merely grinned. “But I think I like you now.”

“Huh.”

There was a comfortable silence between you as you ate and when you both headed back across the road to the hospital, you felt lighter than you had all week long. Swinging your arms at your sides, Hyungwon watched you before smirking. “You’re like a kid.”

“Excuse me?”

“We’re in a place of work, and you’re too elated.”

“Should I come to this place grumbling and see it as a ten-hour sentence each day?” you wondered and Hyungwon smiled, loosening up his body a little more. You nodded eagerly. “Look at that, you’re more carefree as well!”

“Only until we have patients. Then the game face goes back on,” he instructed and you nodded, giggling as Hyungwon skipped across the atrium towards the Dietetics department.

The next day, you came armed with supplies. You guessed right that the coffee Hyungwon sluggishly made his way through was the only thing he had in the morning and placed a container of porridge in front of him, along with another snack-size pottle containing some fruit. “Y/N, I-”

Giving the doctor a reproachful stare, he groaned at you before eating the entire thing. You noticed he didn’t leave for his mid-morning coffee, and by lunch, he seemed more alert than his usual. Holding up another packed bag of food, you shook it gently. “I made us lunch. It’s nice outside, so shall we go on a picnic?”

“You know, Y/N, anyone would think you’re enjoying yourself right now,” he commented with a pout as you handed over his share of the meal you had made last night to bring today.

“I am.”

“I must admit, you know how to cook well.”

“Is that half the problem? Are you any good in the kitchen?” you asked and Hyungwon grew bashful. “I thought as much.”

“I never prioritised learning how to cook.”

“I bet your grocery list consists of pre-packaged meals.”

“I’m still in charge of you right now, Miss L/N,” he warned with a playful glint in his eye. “Stop calling me out like this.”

“You need to eat better.”

“Do I?”

“I’ll make sure you do!” you proclaimed and the man smiled to himself.

“You’re certainly making a point about it. Though next week is your last with me,” he mentioned carefully and you shrugged.

“My studies are held within this hospital, Hyungwon. It won’t be hard for me to continue this.”

“The bigger question is, why are you wanting to?” he asked boldly, staring at you with that intense gaze of his. You blinked a couple of times before smiling.

“I want to help you look after yourself. You do such an amazing job for others, someone should help you.”

“This won’t get you brownie points on my final assessment for you.”

You gasped noisily as he chuckled. “I was never aiming for that!”

“I suppose it does make sense for a dietitian to practice what he preaches.”

“Precisely,” you agreed smugly, holding up your bottle of water to clink with his. Laughing together, you finished your lunch before heading back in to work on the afternoon clinic.

As promised, even when your time in Hyungwon’s office came to an end, you still made a point of checking in with him. You couldn’t do the breakfast run but the doctor had taken to sending you pictures to make sure you left him alone about eating first thing in the morning.

And he had sent you one this morning which had you leaving your study session in annoyance, marching over to the outpatients sector of the hospital and towards the Dietetics department. Checking with the reception whether Doctor Chae was with or without a patient, you waited outside for him to wrap up with the patient inside before you barged through him when he went to shut the door after they left.

“Y-Y/N!” he exclaimed hastily, darting in front of you. Glancing around the office, you then glared at the man before you.

“Would you like me to tell you of my findings, doctor?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You see, I noticed that the lighting in today’s photo didn’t quite match the brightness of the world outside. Yesterday was overcast but today is not. And upon inspection, I see a coffee cup and no red and white spotted container. Funny, isn’t it? Because I’m sure you sent me a photo of your breakfast today.”

“I was in a rush.”

“Not that much of a rush that you couldn’t stop for coffee, Hyungwon.”

“You came all the way over here from class to tell me off for sending you the same photo twice? Come on Y/N!” he pointed out with a forced laugh, though you didn’t join him. Hyungwon gulped. “Fine, I’ll take you out for lunch.”

“You better.”

“I promise, now can I get back to seeing my patients?”

“I feel like you’ve become my patient,” you mentioned with a scowl, turning on your heel as you headed back to the university level of the hospital.

Breakfast and lunches together soon morphed into dinners as well. You hadn’t realised it, but you spent an awful lot of time together now. Standing in Hyungwon’s kitchen using his brand new cooking equipment, since he hadn’t really owned any before, you were almost done with dinner when Hyungwon appeared post-shower.

It should have dawned on you a whole lot sooner than now just how things had changed between you and the doctor.

You were unnaturally quiet over dinner and Hyungwon watched you carefully, putting down his utensils midway. “You figured out I didn’t eat breakfast again, didn’t you?”

“Huh?”

“I slept through my alarm. But this time I did get a blueberry muffin along with the coffee,” he continued, though when you didn’t praise his efforts, Hyungwon paused, narrowing his gaze. “What’s wrong with you?”

“N-Nothing.”

“Are you not happy with dinner? I thought you had done a good job,” he attempted, looking at his plate and then back to your face, still perturbed. “Y/N, you’re going to have to tell me so I can-”

“I think I’m in love with you,” you blurted out and Hyungwon rocked back in his chair, unmoving once the force of his action settled the seat again. You clamped your eyes shut. “I never realised just how much we’ve been acting like this for.”

“Acting like what?”

“Me coming into your world and making you eat each day. It was never my place.”

“No, but I’ve appreciated it. My health hasn’t been this good in years.”

“I stopped eating with my friends because I wanted to eat with you. And I’ve had fun doing so. We’ve been eating together for almost a year now.”

“Have we?” Hyungwon thought for a moment and then nodded. “So we have.”

“I’m guessing you don’t feel the same way,” you commented, pushing back your seat and standing up. “I should go.”

“Wait, Y/N!” he called as he came after you, taking a hold of your wrist and pulling you around. “I’m just confused about how you came to blurt out that you might love me when all you’ve done is talk about eating together.”

Looking up into his eyes as you tried to hold back your emotions from the sudden realisation, you inhaled a deep breath. “I could get used to doing more than just eating with you.”

“Last night we watched a movie together,” he pointed out and you nodded.

“See, we’re basically like a couple. You’re always helping me when I have problems too.”

Hyungwon smiled then, pushing your hair out of your face. “Can I tell you something?”

“Please, I feel like I’m going mad with how calm you are right now.”

“I thought we were already a couple,” he confessed and you merely stared back at him.

“What?”

“From when you were still being mentored by me. That last couple of weeks together, you insisted we ate together and treated me as if I was someone special to you. I knew back then I liked being around you. I mean, you were the first to point out just how easily I was forgetting myself. Your attention on me made me crave it more often.”

“Then why haven’t we made it official?”

Hyungwon shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t think we needed to. I liked being with you and you seemed to like it too.”

“I do,” you agreed softly. “Why didn’t I connect what I felt for you was like I would of a partner until I saw you drying off your hair?”

“Did it feel highly domestic? You cooking dinner whilst I showered away my long day?” he offered and you reached up to place your hands on his shoulders.

“Can you continue that scene?”

“Hm, maybe I should thank the chef for her amazing meal.”

“That would be nice.”

Leaning in towards your lips, you closed your eyes and waited for impact. Instead, you felt the breath he expelled fall across your face, along with two words. “Thank you.”

“I think I’m going to kill you now,” you responded, snapping your eyes open right when Hyungwon pressed himself into you, kissing away your annoyance at his playful approach. Your eyes fluttered shut again and you fell within the kiss, humming in delight when he finally pulled away.

Hyungwon smiled at you affectionately. “Should we go finish dinner?”

“And watch a movie?”

“Then fall asleep against one another because it’s gotten late?”

You smiled, side-hugging the man as he moved you back towards the table in his apartment. “And eat breakfast together for the first time?”

“I really like the sound of that.”

_________________

Next: Jooheon

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[spookysmujer]

Summer Nights, O.Diaz

requested: @mrs-spookyd1az​

Summary: Another summer day/night with your cholo, who can’t keep his hands to himself.

warnings: ass grabbin’ 🍑, fluff, mentions of sex

word count: 1k

A/N: I hope you like this! I would so love to hit up the carnival with him, after seeing him be all goofy with Jasmine 🤪 Gradually working on all the fics I mentioned, my evil twin and I been brainstorming an upcoming series she’ll be working on. Also I would love to construct a master list to make it easier for new comers visiting the blog, but my laptop is a tweaker and I do most on my phone which is blaaaah. Enjoy! Thanks for +300 followers ❤️

LA, California.

 The summer heat has been terrorizing Freeridge nearly as much as the hoodlums who tried to run its streets. It didn’t matter how much fans on or agua frescas you have, the heat relentless.

You sit in Oscar’s red impala as he works under the hood and though you love to spend anytime with your boyfriend, you’re bored out of your mind as well as perspiring like donkey.

“How much longer? I’m bored.” You call out, Oscar pops his head from the side of the open hood to see you with your eyes closed. He chuckles to himself.

“Not much longer. What you wanna do today, mamita?”

“Hm,let’s go to the pool?” You suggest, sitting up and excited with the idea of cooling off. He watches you with amusement and agrees.

The two of you head inside and change, of course you can never do so without a smack to your ass when you aren’t looking. Oscar can’t help it, he loves the feeling of his hand on your behind, feels like home he says.

After a literal 5 minute change, he heads out to the car and waits for you. Though he doesn’t see how it’s so hard to pick out a swimsuit, you ponder between two sets. You hear him beep the horn and settle for a simple string bikini. Another horn as you stepping out of the front door.

“¡Callate! I’m coming!”

After the short drive the pool, which has only a few people, you two settle in a spot and get lathered in sunscreen. Oscar hands you the bottom as he finishes rubbing the lotion onto your shoulders. “Done.” You remove your flip flops feeling a sting on your bottom. Oscar snickering as he walks away quickly to the water.

“Keep it up!” You tell him as you follow, he hurries into the shallow end, diving under the water.

You quickly walk to the deep end and watch him swim, getting ready to come up for air. A wicked smile on your face as you canon ball right above him, “Ha!” landing ontop of him. When you both come up for air, you’re struggling to stay above the water with laughing so much. Even as you reach out for him, he swims away from you. “That’s what you get.”

You manage to swim over the side of the pool as you splash water towards him. The two of you act like children most of the time. He finds amusement in your struggles and you find it disrespectful that that is his source of entertainment but his choice of humor do be making you laugh.

“See how long I can hold a hand stand.” You tell him as you go about doing so, you are counting as well but when you hit 10 seconds and a slap on your ass, you tip over. “Puto!” Oscar only tips his head back in laughter. After more messing around with each other and deciding to hit up the carnival later, you head back to the Santo house. Oscar won’t admit it but he loves the carnival. If it isn’t the food, it is spending the time with you and showing you off.

He dresses in his authentic cholo attire, making him your arm candy rather you as his. As parking and watching him smooth out his collared plaid shirt, making sure he’ll look good, but gives you an earful when do so at him, you step into you fun filled night. Of course, his first stop is to get a ice cold corona while you settle for a big ol lemonade. Your conjoined hands swinging together as you check out the festivities. Of course he runs into his homies and your left hanging onto him arm as he converses for what seems like forever.

“I wanna go play ring toss, please.” He nods and bids a farewell with his compas, a sigh of relief as you finally head over to the games. To say Oscar is competitive is to the day the day the least. Whenever you catch up to him, he shows signs of frustration and it’s amusing. Very amusing! But you always let him win to give him the boost he needs so badly to stride on, cue an eye roll and when he does wins he always lets you get the prize. The cheesy big teddy bear that you hold against you for the remainder of the night.

“One popcorn and one cotton candy.” You hear him tell the concession stand, your mouth watering. He side eyes you as you snatch the two foods from him and munch on them. The sweet and salty combo plastering a smile on your face, “What?”

The bewildered look softening, a side smile on his face as he kisses your forehead, “Nah, just love seeing you all in a moment.”

You quiver your bottom lip at his softness bit it soon retracts when he gropes your ass in a very public, very family filled area. Nothing can stop the booty grabbing Santo of Freeridge.

The night ended almost as soon as it started, sadly but you both enjoyed yourselves. After you both get ready for bed, the usual ensues where he has you pinned underneath him to beg for mercy though you usually get away with no doing much begging but other things with your mouth. What better way to get a good nights sleep? When you awake the next morning you hear the chatter of the Santos and music sounding from outdoors. As you freshen up, a sudden rupture of laughter is heard.

“Fuck you fools, at least I got a ruca to hit, what you got? Shit.” Oscar voice sounds. You roll your eyes at his words as you stroll to the front door. The heads of the Santos turn towards you as you see the small purple spots on that dress his neck and chest. You stifle a laugh, covering your mouth.

“Don’t be grabbing my ass and shit next time.”

[niiwa-angel]

Plastic Smiles

Hal couldn’t wait for this upcoming weekend. After months of much debate and discussion, Barry had agreed to move to California with him, and they were relocating this Saturday.

Hal was beyond excited to be able to properly show his boyfriend around his home city without worrying about when he had to go home. He knew Barry was also excited, but nervous as well. The blond was hiding it well, always smiling and bubbly when he mentioned the move, but Hal also knew that it was hard for him to leave Central and his family behind.

At the moment, Barry was off visiting his dad one last time before Saturday, and he was bound to be emotional when he came home, so Hal had picked up some pizzas and wings for him when he came home. There wasn’t much left to do, a majority of Barry’s stuff was already packed and had been sent ahead to their condo, all that remained were a few pairs of clothes, his toiletries, and his laptop and charger.

~~~~

“Why can’t I just run there?” Barry grumbled, leaning against Hal’s chest while they sat in the airport waiting lounge.

“Because it would raise too many questions.” Hal reminded him, tugging him closer and kissing his head.

Barry huffed and snuggled closer, Hal feeling his tension in his shoulders. He knew that Barry was not looking forward to the four hour flight at all, so he had made sure to pack a variety of snacks and had downloaded a couple of funny movies Barry liked so that they had something to do.

Hal pulled Barry to his feet when their flight was called to board, feeling his boyfriend tremble when they had their tickets scanned and were waved aboard by the stewardess. Hal guided him to their seats, knowing that they had an entire row to themselves, courtesy of a brilliant idea on Bruce’s part, that having an extra seat might give Barry more room to breathe.

The stewardess started on the safety brief, making Barry close his eyes tight and start shaking harder. Hal shrugged off his jacket and tucked it around the blonds shoulders, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Remember, this is the safest way to travel.” Hal reminded him, hoping Barry didn’t throw up on the flight.

“Shut. Up.” Barry hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes shut tight.

Nodding his understanding, Hal kept holding his hand while the plane started moving. When they tilted back for lift off, Barry squeezed his hand so tightly Hal felt his bones grind together, the blond whimpering and shaking as the plane bounced in the air.

When they got to their desired altitude, Hal grabbed his laptop and fired up one of the movies he had bought as a distraction. From there, there wasn’t much Hal could do other than wait for the flight to land.

~~~~

It had crossed Hal’s mind to carry his boyfriend over the threshold when they got to their new shared accommodations, but he figured that after a nerve wracking flight, Barry wouldn’t be too keen on being picked up.

The condo currently looked like only Hal lived there, Barry’s things still in boxes in the living room. The couch was draped with a few throw blankets, and the sliding glass door leading to the garden cast a square of waning sunlight on the hardwood floor.

“Do you wanna just order in?” Hal asked while Barry toed off his shoes.

“I guess.” Barry agreed, holding up his phone and waving it. “I just have to call Iris first and let her know I’m still alive.”

The blond hurried off towards the bedroom to call his adopted sister. Hal leaned against the counter of the kitchen and started looking up delivery services near them, mentally flagging a sushi joint and a mongolian grill that would deliver to them.

~~~~

The pair sat at their kitchen table, a banquet platter of sushi in the center of the table between them. Hal was almost completely mesmerized by the sunshine lighting up Barry’s blond hair and reflecting off his blue eyes while he looked out the window. The only thing distracting him from his boyfriend's perfection was his full plate.

“Do you not like the sushi?” Hal asked, snapping him out of his daze.

“No, no it’s good. I’m just not that hungry.” Barry explained, dragging his attention away from the window.

Hal froze, waiting for the punchline. Barry was always hungry, it was unheard of for him to turn down food unless he was really sick.

“Are you feeling alright?” Hal asked, looking him over.

“I’m fine.” Barry waved him off. “It’s just left over nerves from the flight and the move.”

He wasn’t fully convinced, but he let the subject drop. He knew Barry had really hated the flight, and had been anxious about it for a while, but he had also never heard of him getting stress sick. He pondered it while he finished his own meal, trailing Barry when he stood up and packaged the remainder of his sushi and what was left on the platter.

When the supper dishes were washed, dried, and put away, Hal wrapped his arms around Barry’s waist and pulled him until his back was pressed against his chest. The blond relaxed against him, shifting so they were swaying a little. Hal pressed a few kisses into Barry’s neck, feeling his pulse on his lips.

“Ya’know, we’re only a five minute walk from the beach. What do you say to walking down and watching the sunset?” He asked.

“Mmm, maybe tomorrow.” Barry hummed, “I just wanna go to sleep right now.”

Hal nodded, kissing Barry’s neck again and pushing them towards the bedroom. He was really looking forward to taking his boyfriend down to the shore and cuddling while they watched the sun sink into the sea, but he also knew Barry was tired. Plus, now that Barry lived here, they could do that anytime they wanted, the sun wasn’t going to leave anytime soon.

The pair brushed their teeth, changed into their pajamas, and crawled into bed. After some shifting and getting comfortable, they settled in with Barry resting his head and hand on Hal’s chest, tracing circles with his finger while Hal dozed off.

~~~~

Hal woke up in an empty bed, the other side of the mattress cold. For a moment, he forgot Barry had even moved in, but when he remembered, he got up and went in search of him. When he found him, the blond was stretched out on the couch, sleeping. Not really sure why his boyfriend was sleeping on the sofa when there was a perfectly comfortable bed in their room, Hal started making coffee.

Maybe Barry had woken up at night, been unable to get back to sleep, and had gone to the living room so he didn’t bother Hal. Perhaps he had gotten up to grab something, sat down for a moment, and fallen asleep. Or, Hal pondered, he was suffering from Jetlag, Missouri was in a different Timezone than California, so he might have just been following the routine his body was used to.

Not wanting to wake Barry up, he took his coffee out to the patio to watch the sunrise. It was a brisk morning and the cool air made Hal shiver as he stepped outside, while it made the hair on his arms stand up, Hal enjoyed it, it made his hot coffee feel that much more satisfying. After a half hour, he heard the sliding door open and felt Barry drape himself over Hal’s shoulder, kissing his cheek and playfully trying to steal his mug.  

“Good morning Handsome.” Barry mumbled.

Hal moved his cup out of his reach but he returned the kiss. He reached around and pulled Barry until he was sitting in his lap.

“Good morning.” He returned. “Why did you sleep on the couch?”

‘Mmm.” Barry hummed, “I got too hot.”

Hal was taken aback, their bedroom was one of the coolest rooms in the condo, aside from the bathroom. The rest of the condo was also air-conditioned, so overall, their home wasn’t overly hot, it didn’t make much sense that he would get overheated.

“You got too hot?” He clarified, making Barry nod.

“Yeah. I think it was just because you were pressed right up against me.” He explained. “It just got to be too much, so I went to crash on the couch.”

“...Okay.” Hal said slowly.

That wasn’t really unbelievable, he knew through previous relationships that he ran hot when he slept. If he and Barry had been cuddling while they slept, it was reasonable to state that Barry had really just gotten too hot and had gone somewhere cooler to sleep.

“Oh my god, how are you sitting out here?” Barry muttered, climbing off Hal’s lap and finding his own seat in the shade.

“What? Too cold?” Hal asked.

Barry sent him a look of disbelief, shaking his head.

“It’s fucking hot out here.” He moaned, pressing his palms into his eyes.

“Oh come on! It’s only, like, eighty-five degrees out here.” Hal acclaimed.

“That’s hot!” He cried.

Hal laughed, standing up with his mug in hand, going to get a refill of coffee and offering a cup to Barry.

“Whatever. Do you want a cup of caffeine?” He asked.

“Yes please.” Barry said.

Hal smiled while he went back inside, grabbing another mug out of the cupboard. He filled his own mug with coffee, adding a spoonful of sugar and a small splash of milk. He filled Barry’s with tea, adding two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of French Vanilla Coffee Mate.

He had to use his ring to open the door again for himself, and behind him when he stepped through it. He set both mugs on the patio table, turning to his boyfriend to invite him over.

Barry looked a lot different than he had when Hal had left for the kitchen. He was sitting hunched over, with his hands clutching the sides of his head. Hal couldn’t see his face, but the back of his neck was flushed and his hands were shaky.

“Bear?” Hal asked, “Straw-Barry, are you okay?”

“Hmm?” The blond hummed.

“Are you okay?” Hal asked again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good, just a little warm.” He muttered.

He stood up on wobbly legs, creeping over like a newborn fawn to the patio table for his tea. Hal watched him while he took a sip, he could now see that he was incredibly red in the face and he looked unfocused.

“I’m going to get you a glass of water.”Hal said, hurrying to the kitchen.

He had just filled the glass from the dispenser when he heard a heart-wrenching thud from outside. Slamming the cup down on the counter, he rushed to the patio door.

Barry was huddled on the floor, clearly having fallen. Hal threw the door open and rushed to his side, kneeling beside him to check on him. Barry was, blessedly, breathing, and there was no blood around him. While he was checking him over, Barry’s eyes fluttered under the lids and he started tilting his head and moaning.

Having lived in California for the majority of his life, Hal quickly recognized the signs of heat exhaustion in his boyfriend. Cradling him carefully, Hal lifted him up and carried him inside. When he laid him on the couch, Barry’s eyes had opened and he was looking around, confused. Hal pushed him down when he tried to sit up, wiping his sweat-soaked forehead with his hand.

“Stay here, I’m going to go get some water for you.” Hal ordered.

He retrieved the half-full glass from the counter, folding a clean tea towel and throwing it into the freezer. He rushed back to the sofa, wrapping an arm under his shoulder, helping him to sit up and take a sip of the cool water.

He made Barry slowly sip down the half glass of water, leaving briefly to refill it and swipe the now cool towel from the freezer. He folded the towel and placed it on Barry’s forehead, having him sip down some more water. By now, he was confident that Barry could sit up by himself, Hal left for the bathroom to draw a cool bath.

He only filled the tub up halfway, swishing his hand around in it to make sure that the temperature wasn’t too cold to handle. He went back to the living room, grabbing Barry under the arms and hoisting him to his feet, assisting him to the bathroom. He helped Barry peel his sweat soaked sleep shirt off, tugging his pajama pants down and step out of them.

He had Barry sit in the tub, sloshing the water to make it wash over the parts of his skin not in the bath. Hal could feel Barry’s skin start to cool down under his hands and he stopped shivering.

“Thank you.” Barry whispered.

“Of course.” Hal replied, handing him a towel as he climbed out of the tub.

Convinced that Barry wasn’t about to fall down without Hal there to hold him up, he went to the living room to tidy up. He brought the coffee mugs in from the patio, placing them on the coffee table to come back for them later. Even though their condo was cool enough inside, Hal turned up the AC and shut the blinds so Barry could come back to the living room and rest.

When all that was said and done, Hal hurried back to their bed room for something to give to Barry to wear. Given that most of his things were still packed in boxes, the quickest things on hand were what he had brought in his suitcase, which wasn’t much at all. If it had been solely his decision, he would just have the blond be naked, but Barry was far too modest for his own good so Hal grabbed a clean pair of boxers and took them to the bathroom.

His boyfriend was much the same as when he had left him, wrapped in a towel and sitting on the closed toilet lid with his head down, he looked positively miserable. Slowing his movements down so he didn’t overwhelm him, Hal carefully took Barry’s chin between his thumb and pointer finger, tilting his head up until Barry was looking at him. He looked even more dejected once Hal could see his face, his mouth was set in a sad pout, his eyes were glistening with tears, and his cheeks were still tinted pink in a feverish way and it made Hal’s heart twist.

“Hey Beautiful.” Hal whispered, “How’re ya feeling?”

Barry sniffled quietly and wiped the back of his hand under his nose.

“Better.”

His voice was still soft and weak, that one word sounding like he had put his entire heart and soul into saying it outloud.

“Okay, I brought you something to put on, and then maybe we can go watch some of that new Star Trek series you like, how does that sound?” Hal asked.

In response, the pilot got a small nod and a shaky smile, a fleeting thing that looked like it took all of Barry’s energy just to produce.

“Okay, hang tight Love.”

As he went to help Barry stand, he noticed that he was still wet from the bath. Not soaked, but not dry enough to comfortably sit and watch T.V. Hal knew he needed to fix that before he could get Barry somewhere more comfortable, so he slid an arm under his armpits and lifted him up, he used his free hand to pat Barry dry with the towel, employing all the tenderness usually reserved for newborn kittens.

When he was dried off, Hal made him grab onto his shoulders so he could keep himself upright while he knelt to help Barry step into his boxers. Tugging Barry into a hug, Hal rubbed his back and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. He had already made the decision that Barry wasn’t walking anywhere for a while, not even to the couch, so he hoisted him up and started walking to the living room with Barry’s perfect nose tucked into his neck.

He sat down on the couch with Barry in his lap, grabbing the remote with his power ring so he could queue up an episode of Star Trek for them to watch. As soon as he heard the intro, Barry shifted and climbed off him, getting comfy beside him with his head resting against his shoulder. Hal wrapped an arm around his bare shoulders and gave him a kiss on the crown.

“Doin alright?” He whispered.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It never gets that hot in Missouri and it shocked me.” Barry whispered back, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just need some time to adjust.”

That made sense, in Hal's mind at least. Barry had been born and raised in the midwest, he had grown up with snow storms and sweaters, hot drinks and winter boots. Even in the summer, it had probably never gotten as hot as it currently was outside, so Barry had no natural defenses to the heat yet. Fortunately, Hal knew that the man was strong as hell, given time to adjust to the climate, things would get better.

~~~~

Six weeks later, things had not gotten better, in fact, they had gotten far worse. Contrary to Barry’s claim that he would adjust with time, he hadn’t, and Hal was stuck watching him get sicker and sicker.

While at first they could be brushed off, the changes were now impossible to ignore. While he had always been skinny, Barry had also been strong as well, now he was frail and weak. He was shaking constantly, not with passion or pent up energy but like he could topple over at any minute, and he was always exhausted. Given how sick he actually was from the heat, he could rarely sleep and never was in bed with Hal, always on the couch, alone.

Because of how hot he was all the time, he had started to avoid any physical contact of any kind, the closest he could get without feeling like he was burning was to brush his hands against his boyfriends, on a good day, they would hold hands, but those were becoming farther and farther between. Hal suspected that the lack of affection was hurting Barry more than anything else, given that he had always been touchy, even before they were dating. To add salt to the wound, he could barely be the Flash anymore. He could hardly walk in the California heat, running was out of the question, and given that he couldn’t stand without trembling, he was no longer fit for duty.

Of course, when Hal had asked him about it, Barry had painted on a fake smile and played the optimist. He was still insisting that he would get better, he just needed to get himself sorted out, that everything would work itself out, just like he had said a month and a half prior. But Hal wasn’t so convinced anymore, Barry had lost a lot of weight and his clothes were starting to hang off him in ways they hadn’t before, and he was miserable.

Though he tried to hide it, Hal knew, he could see that the plastic smile Barry put on was getting harder to maintain, he could hear him crying quietly to himself when he was alone in the shower or on the couch at night and his voice sounded wobbly whenever he spoke to his sister or dad over the phone about his new residence. He suspected that the only reason Barry hadn’t voiced how awful he felt was because Hal had pushed California hard, bringing up the benefits of living in a blue state in a blue city, with all the perks that brought to them, he didn’t doubt that Barry was keeping silent because he thought it would make Hal happy.

Hal couldn’t stand to see Barry so miserable, he knew he needed to act fast or there could be irreversible damage done to his physical and mental well being. Which brought him to the present, in a crowded bar, stuffed into a corner booth with Oliver and Guy. He had sent them both an SOS text, briefly explaining the situation and begging them to meet up with him to give him advice, and here they were.

“So,” Guy drawled, “What didja fuck up this time?”

Normally, Hal would have been frustrated with Guy’s blunt ‘never beat around the bush’ conversation style, but tonight he was grateful for it. He felt like he was running out of time, or like water was slipping through his fingers.

“Barry’s sick. Really sick.” Hal answered, “He’s been sick for a while and I don’t know what to do.”

“From the heat, right?” Ollie piped up.

Hal frowned, looking at his best friend quizzically. He hadn’t told them everything over the text he had sent and Barry didn’t really like Oliver, so he wasn’t sure how he knew what was making Barry sick. Ollie picked up on his confusion, and answered the unasked question.

“Dinah and Barry talk a lot, she told me that he’s been suffering from the heat.”

“Whatever.” Guy grumbled, waving the archer off. “Why did you ask us here?”

“Because I need advice! I don’t know what to do, Barry’s gotten so sick recently that I’m scared to leave him by himself, his powers are acting up, and he’s so depressed!” Hal rushed out, “I don’t know what to do, he’s suffering and I can’t do anything.”

“Yeah, right.” Guy scoffed, taking a sip of his drink.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ollie snapped, angry on Hal’s behalf.

Guy rolled his eyes, looking at the pair like they were idiots. When it was clear that they really weren’t on the same page, he scoffed again and shifted to glare at them while he lectured.

“You can do something, you moron, you can take him home. He’s obviously not cut out for the desert heat, whatever, he gave it the ol’ college try. He’s made sacrifices for you by coming all the way out here and leaving his family behind, now it’s time for you to grow a pair and do the same for him.”

“I- I don’t know if that would work Gardener.” Hal attempted.

“Whatdaya mean ‘it wouldn’t work’?” Guy spat, “Listen you dumb fuck, you don’t deserve Barry, he is too good for you. I know it, you know it, this blond moron knows it, everyone who has ever met the pair of you knows it. The only one who hasn’t figured out that Barry deserves better than you is Barry, so for the love of God man, you need to keep him from figuring it out!

“He loves you! For reasons I cannot understand, he loves you and you know it. That’s why you pushed so hard to bring him here, even when he had the most to leave behind. You know Barry would jump through hoops for you, so you had him move to the middle of the fucken desert.”

“Hey, he wanted to come!” Hal defended.

“No he fucking didn’t, he wanted to be with you! He doesn’t care about California, he cares about you and he’s scared you’re going to pull the same disappearing act on him that you’ve pulled on every other poor bastard you’ve dated so he moved to keep you happy.” Guy snarled.

“I wouldn’t just ditch Barry!” Hal snapped, responding with equal hostility. “I’m more than willing to admit that I’ve done some pretty shitty things and put some people through hell, but I’m in therapy, I started sorting through those issues before Barry and I became an item!”

“Then why did you drag him out here? You have no friends here, the only family you’ve got, you don’t talk to, at best you’ve got Coast Uni, but you’ve been done school for years now. From every standpoint, it would have made more sense for you to move to Central, Barry has his sister and his Dad, he’s exclusive to Central unless he’s with the league, you just fuck off across the galaxy!” Guy argued, “But you begged him to come to your home city because you’re a prideful son of a bitch who's watching the man he loves decay in front of him, and you know how to fix it but you won’t, for reasons I don’t think even you understand!”

Hal sputtered, grampling for any defense for himself. He knew he must have looked like a fish out of water, and he knew he didn’t have a defence for himself. Barry was a people-pleaser, always had been and Hal knew it, he had known that Barry would come to California and now he was staying even though it was killing him.

“Look man, for what it’s worth, I know you didn’t plan on hurting Barry, I know that he’s pretty much the only reason you’re a half-functional human being.” Guy offered, “And listen, you can fix this! If you go and say that you want to take him back to Central, you’ll be his personal hero, his sister will be relieved that he’s back, he’ll be able to see his dad again. Fuck, in ten years when you two have your two point five kids, a dog, and a picket fence, this can just be a really funny story.”

Hal nodded, knowing that Guy was right. He was either going to take Barry somewhere with a more accommodating climate for him, or he was going to lose him, either because he got so sick that he could not recover or because their relationship would fall apart from the stress. He had come to these men for advice, it was obvious what that advice was, so now he needed to figure out the practical end; how he was going to get Barry back home.

His boyfriend was stubborn, so much so that he was surprised that he didn’t have a Green Lantern ring of his own, admitting that he was struggling was hard for him. Still, Barry was getting sick, his powers were acting up, and he needed to be back in a climate he was accustomed to. Of course, that wouldn’t be easy, they would have to break their lease and find a new place in Central because Barry had gotten rid of his, not only that, but Barry would need to get his job back at the CCPD. None of that would be easy, but he hoped that it wouldn’t be too hard. He would talk to Bruce and Iris later, see if either of them could help him out in some way, but for the moment, he bid his friends adieu, paid his tab, and headed home to Barry.

~~~~

The blond was sleeping on the couch when Hal got home, his arm dangling over the side and a throw pillow under his head. The guilt Hal had felt earlier tripled while he looked over his sleeping boyfriend, dressed in a tank top he’d stolen from Hal and a pair of boxers. He didn’t look completely comfortable, just slightly more at peace while he slept.

Even though it was even later in Gotham than it was here, Hal knew he needed to start putting his plan in action sooner rather than later. First, He gently lifted Barry up off the couch and carried him to the bed, pulling back the covers with his ring and laying the forensic scientist on the mattress. Then he went back to the living room, stepped out onto the balcony and called Bruce.

“What do you want?” Bruce asked, picking up after the first ring.

“I fucked up.” Hal admitted, careful to keep his voice down.

There was silence on the other line for a moment, dragging on for so long that Hal checked to make sure he hadn’t been hung up on.

“So?” Bruce asked, “That isn’t new for you.”

God, Hal hated his boyfriends best friend sometimes. Bruce had gotten along with Barry from the start but had hated Hal since the first second they met. While he and Barry had grown closer, Bruce had hated him more, rolling his eyes and being slightly cheeky to him whenever they had to speak. When he had started dating Barry, he had called a truce with the Dark Knight of Gotham for his boyfriends sake, but he doubted that they would ever get along. Still, Hal needed his help.

“I know but this is worse than usual.” He confessed, “Barry’s getting sick, he can’t handle the heat. I want to get him back to Missouri before he gets worse but I need help, I need to convince him to move again and I was hoping you would have some advice.”

There was silence on the other end again, making Hal feel even worse about himself. He had prepared himself for some gloating, knowing that Bruce would probably rub it in his face that he didn’t deserve Barry.

“I wondered if that would happen.”

There was the silence broken, and Hal braced for the verbal dress-down.

“He’s what I can do. I need a safe house in California and I have too many in Missouri.” Bruce began, “I can sell you and Barry one of the houses in exchange for you subletting your condo to me so I can see if I want to buy it.”

That… Was very generous. Incredibly generous and far more than Hal had been expecting.

“That’s… That’s amazing Bruce.” He stammered, “I cannot thank you enough. How much do you want for the house?”

“For anyone else, I wouldn’t go less than three hundred thousand. But, it needs some work done, I haven’t updated that interior since I bought it, and it looks like something out of the nineties.” Bruce said slowly, “And someone was murdered in it before I bought it, which really decreased the value, so I’ll give it to you for one hundred thousand.”

Alright, knowing someone was killed in the house was weird and he could see why it would decrease the value. But a house they owned would be far better than an apartment they could rent, they could redecorate and make renovations, and it was far more private than an apartment building, which was good for their alter-egos.

“Bruce, I cannot thank you enough. I need to talk to Barry about this, but thank you so, so much.” Hal thanked, mentally adding ‘get Bruce a muffin basket’ to his to-do list.

“Just, don’t kill Barry.” Bruce muttered, “A guy like me only gets one best friend in life, and when he’s gone, I don’t get a new one.”

That was sweet, though Hal would never admit it. Apparently Bruce did have a soul, or at the very least, he had borrowed it back from Satan for this phone call exclusively.

“I’ll keep him alive.” He promised, “Have a nice night Bruce.”

He didn’t get a response, just a dial tone as Bruce hung up. He would normally mumble about his lack of manners, but tonight he could only inwardly rejoice while he went back inside. His phone buzzed in his hand, Bruce having sent him a link to view the house, which he emailed to himself so he could show Barry in the morning.

Hal took a quick shower, got into pajamas, kissed Barry on the forehead, and went back to the living room to sleep on the couch. He shifted around for a while to get comfortable, which wasn’t easy on the small sofa, he eventually managed it, willing himself to fall asleep.

~~~~

Hal woke up with a kink in his neck and a sore back but a good feeling in his heart. He hurried through making coffee, logging onto his laptop while he waited for it to brew. As soon as the computer was awake, Hal pulled up his email and clicked on the link leading to pictures of the house Bruce had offered.

It was a nice house, two levels and a basement, lots of windows, a large kitchen/living room/dining room area. There were two bedrooms, the master bedroom, which had an attached bathroom and a spacious walk-in closet, and a smaller room that they could use for a guest room and home office. There was another bathroom across from the smaller bedroom, decked out with a bath/shower, toilet, and a sink with lots of cabinet space under it. And of course, the basement, but it wasn’t finished, it did have a washer and dryer down there though.

The backyard was also nice, the back deck obviously needed some work but it was nice enough. The yard was fenced with a wooden plank wall, attaching to the house with a gate on one side. It was nicer than Hal could have ever hoped for and he hoped Barry would see it the same way. He checked the neighbourhood it was in and saw that it was pretty nice, located close to a library and a community center, with a grocery plaza not even fifteen minutes drive away. It would be an amazing spot for them to live in, and it would be better to own a home than to rent one, now he just needed to wait for Barry to wake up to talk to him about it.

~~~

An hour and a half later, a very sleepy Barry Allen dragged himself into the kitchen. He was still in the clothes he’d been in when Hal had put him to sleep, the stolen tank top and his boxers, his hair was a fly away mess, and his eyes were still cloudy from sleep. It was better rested than he had looked in weeks, not healthy, by a country mile, but it was better nonetheless. His boyfriend shuffled in and rested his head against Hal’s shoulder, linking their fingers together and squeezing his hand. That had been a pretty standard display of affection between them for the majority of their time in California, it was intimate but not so touchy that it was too hot for Barry.

‘Good morning Beautiful.” Hal greeted, kissing him on the head.

“Morning Handsome.” Barry mumbled.

The blond pulled away and set about making himself tea, pouring boiling water into a mug, adding a tea bag, and then poking it with a spoon to make it brew faster. Hal stared, leaning against the counter, watching while his boyfriend moved around the kitchen, making his drink. When Barry bent over to reach the creamer in the fridge, he couldn’t stop himself from ogling his perfect ass.

“You put me in the bed last night.” Barry said, standing up with the creamer in hand.

“I did.” Hal confirmed, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Why?”

Hal sighed into his coffee and put the mug down. He turned to Barry while he added sugar and creamer to his tea.

“Because you’ve been bending over backwards to accommodate me and I haven’t been taking care of you like I should be.” He answered.

“You’ve been taking care of me.” Barry protested, frowning.

“Not like I should have been, not like you deserve.” Hal said.

Barry scowled and crossed his arms, glaring at his tea cup.

“I’m not some helpless baby, I don’t need someone taking care of me.” He muttered, “I’m fine.”

“You are not fine!” Hal snapped, “You’ve been sick for weeks, that is not fine!”

Barry flinched at his tone, his eyes welling up with tears and he closed his eyes against them. He swallowed hard around a lump in his throat and tried to compose himself enough to talk but he wasn’t having much success. Hal noticed he’d been too harsh and cursed in his head, making Barry defensive and weepy wasn’t the right way to start the conversation they needed to have.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound cross.” He apologized, sweeping a hand through his hair. “Shit, Bear I’m sorry. Just, come sit down with me, we need to have a talk.”

Hal took his coffee and brought it over to his laptop on the coffee table, putting his mug down on a coaster and sitting on the couch. Barry stayed in the kitchen for a moment, putting away the sugar and creamer, stirring his tea, and then following Hal to the living room and sitting down on the sofa. He didn’t put his mug down, he held it tightly in both hands with it sitting on his thigh, he wasn’t looking at Hal but he was close enough for a heartfelt conversation and that’s what he wanted, so Hal just started talking.

“So listen, I know that California hasn’t been your cup of tea. I can see you’re sick and I know it’s from the heat.” Hal began.

“If you’re going to break up with me, just do it already, don’t drag it out!” Barry snapped in a teary voice.

Hal paused and mentally reset. Break up? He didn’t want to break up with Barry! He loved Barry!

“Break up? Babe, no no no, I don’t want to break up with you!” He said in a rush. “I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! I don’t want to break up!”

“Well then what do you want?” Barry sobbed, wiping his eyes.

Hal bundled Barry into a quick hug, nothing so long that he would feel too hot, but long enough to be reassuring for him. Barry returned in with one arm, the tears coming hot and fast from both of them. When they broke apart, Hal started to explain what he had discussed with Bruce.

“Straw-Barry, I want to take you home. Back to Central.” Hal explained, “You’re obviously sick, and you’re not getting better.”

“I’m trying!” Barry interrupted, crying hard. “I’m trying to get better, I’m trying to get used to the heat!”

“I know you are! I know that, but Barry, you’re hurting. Badly. Listen, I talked to Bruce last night, he has a safe house in Central he doesn’t want anymore that he’d be willing to sell to us.” He said, “I think we should take it and move you home.”

“But you love Coast City.” Barry protested.

“Not as much as I love you! I don’t care if this damn city burns, as long as you’re safe by my side.” Hal promised, “And right now you’re not safe.”

Barry sniffled, wiping his eyes one at a time, left then right.

“But it’s cold in Central and you hate the cold.” He pointed out.

“I do, I do hate the cold. But I’ll get some warm sweaters, and start drinking hot chocolate, and I have my space heater of a boyfriend to cuddle with. I can put on more clothes to stay warm, you can’t really get any more exposed than naked to stay cool here. Not that I’d have a problem if you want to go around naked all the time.” Hal joked to lighten the mood.

The joke landed and Barry laughed, no fresh tears being shed anymore. He leaned in close and rested his forehead against Hal’s collarbone for a second, then shifted to the back of the couch.

“You’d really come back to Central with me?” He asked, looking up at Hal with big blue eyes that made him melt.

“I would follow you anywhere you go.” Hal whispered.

Both men rested against the sofa, looking at each other with affection. Pushing through his heat exhaustion, Barry reached over and took Hal’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Show me this house you and Bruce talked about.” He requested.

“Of course!” Hal agreed, reaching for his laptop.

They spent the morning like that, settled on the couch with the laptop open to the pictures of the house. Hal grabbed a notepad and a pen, both of them discussing paint colours for the rooms, upgrades for the kitchen appliances, and what they wanted to do with the garden. At some point, Barry ordered Uber Eats from Mcdonalds for their breakfast and some drinks from Starbucks, a sugary coffee for Hal and an elaborate iced tea for himself. For the first time in weeks, Barry looked truly hopeful.

~~~~

A month later, Hal woke up in their shared bed in their new house. Barry was cuddled into his side, giving off plenty of warmth to keep them comfortable. From the windows, the early morning sunlight reflected off of the snow and into the couples room.

They had moved all of their things from California to Missouri three weeks prior. They had been greeted by Barry’s joyful adopted family, who had helped them get home from the airport and unpack. Later, they had come over to help with renovations to the house, repainting rooms, setting up appliances and furniture, and cleaning up afterwards, then they had all had pizza and wings together and spent the night laughing and joking together.

Barry had gotten better, his colour was better, he had gained weight, he was bouncy and energetic, able to be The Flash again, and he was smiling. Real smiles this time, not fake, plastic smiles to gloss over how much he was hurting. The couple was able to touch each other again without Barry getting sick, and Hal rejoiced at having their sex life back on track after nearly two months of it being nonexistent.

As for Hal, he had been adjusting to the Missouri winter. He had gotten a heavy winter coat and snow pants, a pair of winter boots, and a set of hat and gloves to wear outside. He and Barry had gone and gotten him winter clothes from the mall, so he wouldn’t be cold when they were hanging out in the house. Barry had also gotten him some heat packs for his boots and gloves to wear when he went outside, which was the best gift he had ever received.

He found that he really liked the snowy winter. He and Barry had made some snowmen in their backyard one Sunday afternoon, then they had made a snow fort and had a snowball fight. Hal really liked watching the snow come down, especially when it was twilight and the streetlights had just come on. He could spend hours in the armchair in front of the window, Barry cuddling with his legs over his lap, each with a cup of hot chocolate, just watching the snow come down.

In his sleep, Barry shifted and hummed, drawing Hal’s attention back to him. The blond was in a warm pair of striped pajamas, with the blankets tucked up to his chin. Hal settled back into bed, wrapping his arms around Barry to leech off his body heat. He would have plenty of time to admire the snow later, for now, he was just going to cuddle.    

[eclecticstarlightconnoisseur]

EDINBURGH TO BOSTON - CHAPTER 19 - THE KING’S GAMBIT

Good evening all. So now that we are all caught up with the previous two chapters, I am posting the most recent chapter called The King’s Gambit. This one also is NSFW. It will be the last of this type for a while, since are many other things these two babies need to do, like go back to work. 

Why did this chapter take so long? I don’t know. All I know is I couldn’t get it right. So thank you to @scubalass​ who kept on me until it become something worth posting.

I appreciate any thoughts, comments, suggestions, recommendations that anyone may have. Any questions anyone has fire away.

So without any further delay, I give to you, for better or worse:

Edinburgh to Scotland

Chapter 19

The King’s Gambit

The pale cold light from a winter sun came through the bedroom window. It was the type of light that illuminated but did not lend warmth. It was, however, warm and cozy in bed next to Claire. Jamie didn’t want to get up by a long shot, but the reality of life would intrude today and there was no sense in postponing it.

He quietly got up rummaging through a drawer finding an old pair of sweatpants and a tee-shirt; he dressed quickly turned and looked at Claire sleeping.

Her hair was a wild mess, like a dandelion puff that exploded. She’ll hate it, he thought. He, on the other hand, rather liked it as he thought it suited her, ferocious and untamed. Maybe that was what he loved about her. She reminded him of the Highlands, fierce, unrestrained, yet warm, loving, and tender as a spring flower. And beautiful. He gently brought the blanket up to cover her properly and silently left her to her slumber.

Claire turned onto her side searching for Jamie only finding a cold empty bed. Cracking one eye open she scoured the room for any sign of her Scot. To her dismay, he was nowhere to be found. She wiggled her bum intending to burrow down into the inviting bed for a few more minutes of sleep when the enticing smell of fresh coffee wafted under her nose pulling at her like a doomed sailor to a siren’s song.

Standing up, Claire smiled at the pleasant soreness between her legs remembering their amorous activities of last night and earlier this morning. Thinking she would find him in the kitchen, she wrapped her robe around herself and padded off in search of her Scot and coffee. 

She found him seated at the island, a coffee mug in hand staring intently at his laptop. Leaning over, Claire wrapped her arms around him resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Good morning,” she murmured, placing a delicate kiss on his cheek.

Jamie took her hand lovingly kissing her palm, “Ye slept well then, lass?” he inquired. 

“Very well. Better than I have in a long time,” Claire replied sounding pleased.

She turned her head to observe the screen realizing he had logged in to the hospital’s portal to review their upcoming OR schedule.

“I see you’re busy checking our calendar.”

“Aye, I have. There’s a CABG followed by a mitral valve repair/replacement as soon as we get back. The remainder of the week is just as busy.” He was crestfallen at not being able to help her. “Ye ken I canna help ye. So I was looking tae see who was free.”

Claire poured a cup of coffee and sat next to Jamie to review the surgical roster. “Look, I think Pound is free all week. He’s getting ready to graduate and could use more hands-on time. And he is quite good. I trust him. I think we have our problem solved,” Claire said as she sipped her coffee. “Do you think you could cover my other duties while I’m operating? That should ease the burden on the two of us.”

“I can. Now I just need to tell the Chief,” Jamie rolled his eyes and grimaced with the prospect of having this conversation with the pompous old windbag.

“Then I shall leave you to it,” Claire grabbed her cup and stood as if to leave wanting to give Jamie some privacy for the phone call.

“No, I dinna want ye to leave,” he reached out grasping her hand.  It was strange how he had come to rely on her in such a short time. Claire became his pillar, his strength. 

“I dinna like the man. He may be Chief but…there is just something about him that’s no’ right.”

She looked at him with sympathy. “I know what you mean. I have thought him to be rather Janus-faced, friendly and kind but insincere and unscrupulous. I have heard rumors about how he treats other surgeons,” provoking a shiver to run down her spine. “But, he likes you. I don’t think there should be much of a problem.”

“Aye, that's what I fear. “I dinna like his attentions,” he huffed. 

“You are very talented and a much better surgeon than he is. He knows it and I have a suspicion he doesn’t like it.”

Jamie blushed at her praise. That kind of praise coming from Claire Beauchamp meant something.

Tightening his grip on her hand, he pulled Claire closer. He looked up at her beseechingly. “Besides, mo nighean donn, this affects you as well. We have been partners long before we became…more.”

He didn’t know how to define what they are. Boyfriend and girlfriend? That sounds rather like high school. Lovers? That they were. But it did not encompass everything. Companions, partners? That still did not cover what their relationship was. He was at a loss to explain what their relationship should be called. What would explain it enough without demeaning its significance? Did it really matter how they referred to each other? She is the love of his life. And that’s what mattered. 

“Ye need to be part of the discussion and the solution.” He looked at her encouraging her to stay. 

“You’re right, Jamie. We need to face things together.”

“Aye, there’s the two of us now,” he smiled with the thought. Whatever they faced they would present a united front. 

Taking a deep breath, Jamie placed the call. 

“Good day to ye Ainsley. Dr. Fraser here, would the Chief be available?” Jamie inquired almost hoping that he was not. Get it over with Fraser. If not now then it will be later. Jamie heaved a large sigh.

“Aye, Dr. Fraser. Let me connect you.”

Soft nondescript music played as he waited for his boss to pick up the line. He puffed out his cheeks and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling with impatience, anxious to get the call over with.

“Jaamie,” the honeyed voice drawled. “How is my favorite surgeon? Hum? Ready to come back with all these new techniques that will improve our department?” The avarice was apparent in his voice. His greed extended not only to money, but to position, fame, but most of all power.

“Weel, sir that’s the reason for my call. I had a wee accident while in Boston injuring my right hand and I’ll no’ be able to operate for a few weeks.”

Claire placed her hand on Jamie’s thigh giving it a gentle squeeze in support.

“You what!?” The Chief sputtered. “Where was Beauchamp while all of this was going on??” He muttered under his breath, but obviously not low enough not to be heard, “Damn the woman! You think she could control one man.”

Claire’s hand went to cover her mouth to smother her laughter. She expected nothing better from him. “Utter arse!”

Jamie scowled at her, for laughing. Claire shrugged her shoulders, leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“She was no’ there when the accident happened. I should be fine in a few weeks. In the meantime, Dr. Beauchamp and I have assessed the situation and devised a plan that will allow for our caseload tae go on unimpeded. I believe that Dr. Elias Pound is available to assist Dr. Beauchamp with the surgeries while I assume the teaching, rounding, and clinic duties. We believe this is a satisfactory solution.”

“It seems you two have everything sorted. I can always count on the two of you to rise to the occasion.” There was a brief pause in the conversation accompanied by some soft muttering from Sandringham’s end. “Jamie, I want you to see our hand surgeon, Dr. Hildegarde de Gascogne to manage your care. As you are aware, she is world-renowned and I want only the best for you, my lad.  You are a very valuable asset to our department, ” he wheezed. ”Ainsley will call you with an appointment.”  Sandringham’s feigned attempt at concern was easily heard in his voice as it was hollow lacking sincerity for Jamie’s well being.

His tone became unctuous and slick, “Are you in much pain, dear boy? Is there anything I can do for you?” 

“Ah, no. Thank ye, Dr. Sandringham. Dr. Beauchamp and I have this well under control. I’ll be expecting Ainsley’s call.” 

“Very well then. Oh, and Dr. Fraser do be more careful, hmm?”

“Aye, sir. Good day tae ye.” He exhaled heavily now feeling able to draw a deep breath.

“That wasn’t so bad was it?” Claire said with a smirk.

“Easy for you tae say. Ye dinna have tae speak tae the man.”

“No, I didn’t. But, he thinks I should have prevented you from injuring yourself.” Little did Jamie know that Claire did blame herself for his broken fingers and that he re-injured his hand a second time.

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. I promised ye I would beat Frank into a pudding if I ever saw him. ‘Tis an honor tae care for ye, protect ye.”

She looked up at him as if he were her knight in shining armor, “I don't know if I ever thanked you for coming to my rescue that night, but thank you.”

Claire sat on his lap snuggling up against him resting her head in the crook of his neck. Jamie wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her closer to him. She relaxed into him feeling safe and loved in his strong arms. Her fingers wound their way through his ginger curls. His hair had grown and was longer than he usually wore it.  “I like your hair a little longer, especially when it curls. I don’t want you to cut it.” 

“As ye wish mo leannan.”

They sat enjoying the peace between them listening to each other's breath.

Jamie leaned down placing a soft kiss to her forehead. “Do ye ken how much I like to hold ye?”

“No, I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?” sighed Claire.

“I do it because I like the nearness of ye.”  He smiled at her shyly as if he were going to impart some great secret. ”There is a hole here in my chest,” he said letting one hand go from around her waist and pointing to his heart. “’Tis been there my whole life. I dinna ken what it was or what caused it, this hollowness there. Now that I found ye I kent what ‘tis. ’Tis a chasm that only ye can fill, Claire. Ye are the missing piece of my heart. And when I hold ye close tae me, ‘tis no’ empty. It doesna hurt anymore when yer near me.”

She kissed his eyelids, the tip of his nose, cheekbones, finally finding his mouth. She kissed him lightly. Growing bolder, she allowed her tongue to trace his lush sensual lips savoring the taste of him. 

Jamie groaned deeply. “Claire,” he whispered her name reverently as if saying a prayer. He looked at her as if she was the embodiment of all that is holy. As if she was sent to him by the gods for him to cherish and love.

Leaning forward her mouth pressed near the tender lobe of his ear as she breathed, “Do you want me, Jamie?”

“Ye dinna ken what ye do tae me mo chridhe. How am I tae resist ye? My body is here tae serve ye as ye wish.

Jamie lowered his face, bringing his lips to hers. His tongue caressed the seam of her lips, seeking entry. Her lips were soft, warm, and yielded to his desire. She opened to him like a flower in full bloom. Their tongues twinned together engaging in a ritual courtship dance.

His cell phone rang and vibrated on the table. He saw it was Sandringham’s office and pushed the phone away with annoyance expecting the message to go to voicemail.

“So, where were we?” He queried as his tongue licked the sensitive skin at the juncture of Claire’s neck and throat. Using his teeth he bit her causing Claire to erupt in chill bumps as she moaned in pleasure.

His hand slid between the folds of the gossamer fabric that covered her. Her skin was warm, silky. And her breasts ah...they were full and heavy. He ran a finger over a nipple making it harden and round just like a perfect pearl. How he longed to take it in his mouth and suckle like a babe at her breast. 

His mobile began to chime and vibrate. It skittered on the slick granite top, pulling their attention to the offending little device. Sighing Claire picked it up showing Jamie the home screen alert. Clarence Sandringham. 

“I think you should take the call. He’ll keep calling. We can always pick up where we left off later.”

Jamie grudgingly answered the call. It was Ainsley with the information about his appointment.

“Thank ye kindly, Ainsley. I will be there,” as he placed the information on his calendar. 

“I’m seeing  Dr. de Gascogne Monday at 1 pm. Do ye think ye will be free tae come with me?”

“You want me to come with you? Why ever for?” She wanted to tease him asking if he was afraid of going to the doctor, but held her tongue.

He looked at Claire with soft sweet imploring eyes, “I would feel better with ye by my side ‘tis all.” The tips of his ears pinked as he thought of his need for her by his side supporting him.

“Well if you wish that I come with you, of course, I will.”

Jamie let out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding, “Thank ye Sassenach.” He didn’t want to admit he was nervous and afraid. Afraid his hand would not heal well and he would never be able to operate again. Worse yet, he feared he would not be able to care for Claire, love her, or serve her as she deserves. And she deserved a whole man, not a broken one.

Claire sensing a change in Jamie’s mood cleared her throat feeling that the moment between them had broken. The fire in their bellies had been smoored but not extinguished. She gave Jamie a light kiss on his lips, “Shall I make us breakfast?”

“Nay, lass. ‘Tis my turn to make breakfast. How about I make ye some of my famous parritch with berries? I can do that one-handed.”

“ Alright. Then I guess it’s my turn to make a phone call.”

“Tae who, Sassenach?”

“My dog sitter, Mrs. Bug. I think I should let her know when I’ll be home and pick up Ginger.”

“Aye, that would be a good idea. Ye go on and make yer call. I’ll let ye know when breakfast is ready.”

Claire dialed the number and the phone was picked up quickly. In the background she could hear the cacophony of a television playing, children laughing, and a dog barking. Her sweet girl.

“Ethan, ye wee gomeral, put that down afore ye break it. Hello,” shouted what sounded like an exasperated Mrs. Bug.

“Hallo, Mrs. Bug. It’s Claire. It seems I have caught you at a bad time. I just called to let you know I would be by to pick up Ginger on Sunday evening if that’s alright with you?”

“Claire, ma dearie, och ‘tis not a bad time.”

“Caleb, dinna make me come over there. Be a good lad and eat yer parritach. Dinna put it in yer brother’s hair.” 

“Sunday would be fine. Shall I make ye some soup? I’ll wager ye dinna eat properly while ye were away.”

“No, no, that’s not necessary, Mrs. Bug,” Claire sighed with exasperation. Mrs. Bug was always trying to feed her up.  

“Yer too thin, lass. Ye need to put some meat on yer bones. Gives a man something tae hang on tae. Ye ken what I mean?” Claire swore she heard Mr. Bug snicker in the background.

Before she could respond to Mrs. Bugs’ latest attempt to meddle in her life, there was the sound of pottery crashing accompanied by loud wailing in the background.

She seized the opportunity to end the call. “I think you are needed at the moment. I’ll see you on Sunday, Mrs. Bug. Give my regards to your husband. Take care.” Claire clicked off the call and exhaled a deep breath. She did not know how the elderly couple managed to babysit children, pets, and find the time to pry into other people's lives. She was exhausted just listening to the carrying on.

“Is everything alright, Sassenach?”

“Yes, fine. The Bugs are a sweet elderly couple. They are really grandparents to the entire neighborhood. But they take on so much that I just don’t know how they manage.”

“It seems they enjoy it. Everyone needs to feel useful,” Jamie pointed out. “Now, come and eat. Breakfast is ready milady. ‘Tis no’ as fancy as you make it, but it will fill ye up.”

He pulled out her chair waiting for her to take her seat. 

Claire lowered her eyes and a small smile flitted across her face. No man had ever done that for her before.

Jamie served her the parritch topped with strawberries, sliced almonds, and drizzled with honey.

“‘Tis no’ gourmet, but ‘tis no’ lumpy. I dinna like lumpy parritch,” he grimaced with the thought. He stood next to Claire anxiously waiting for her to taste it. Anxious being the operative word. 

Claire dove in tasting his offering. It was delicious. Creamy with a bit of cinnamon in it as well.

Jamie watched intently as she ate it. He didn't know why he was so worried if she liked the parritch, but he was. Well if he was honest with himself he knew she was a better cook than he and he wanted to please her.  He felt foolish worrying so, after all, it was only parritch. But he couldn’t help himself.  “Do ye like it Sassenach? Is it too hot? Maybe ye would like a bit of cream. I dinna want ye tae burn yer tongue. Would ye like more honey? I could make ye something else if ye dinna like it,” he worried chewing his lower lip.

Claire smiled, the tip of her tongue slipped out and caught a golden drop of honey on her lip, “Jamie, it’s delicious, really. Please sit down and eat before it gets cold.”

Pleasure lit up his face at seeing her enjoyment. Hurriedly he sat down and began to eat with great enthusiasm.

They chatted amicably enjoying their meal and each other’s company.

“Why don’t ye take our coffee into tae sitting room, Claire, while I clear the table?” Jamie stood at the sink rinsing the dishes then stacking them in the dishwasher.

“Alright.”  Carrying their mugs of coffee into the sitting room, Claire placed them on the wooden trunk he used as a coffee table. She wandered around the room looking at the objects that occupied the space as if they would reveal the secrets of the man she loved. She came upon a striking antique mahogany table that stood near the fireplace that was inlaid with white and black marble squares. Two elegantly carved chairs were situated so they sat opposite each other at the table. She ran a hand lovingly across the tabletop admiring its fine craftsmanship.

“‘Tis magnificent, is it no’?” he inquired, wrapping his arms around Claire’s waist nuzzling at her neck.  “‘Tis a family heirloom. It belonged to a great, great, great uncle who lived in Paris in tae 18th century. He was a wine merchant and a Jacobite as weel.” 

“It’s  truly beautiful. Do you have the original chessmen that go with it?” asked Claire.

“Aye, I do,” he replied, opening a side draw revealing the chess pieces. He pulled out the black Queen handing it to Claire. 

She stroked it lovingly appreciating the fine detail of the carving. “It is an exquisite piece, a work of art.”

Jamie looked at her hopefully, “Ye wouldna happen tae play would ye? ‘Tis hard for me tae find an opponent. No’ many people want tae play against me.”

Claire brightened, “I do play. Lamb taught me when I was a child.” Her face misted over with the memories of nightly chess games with either Lamb or Firouz by the campfire. Each man taught her what moves to make, strategies to employ, and tried to instill in her the value of competition, of being a good winner. But more importantly, the virtue of losing gracefully.  “Lamb believed that it would make me a logical thinker and develop strong problem-solving skills.  And he was quite right. It’s been invaluable to me as a surgeon.”  But Claire knew that playing chess had increased her already present competitive spirit. She liked to win.

His heart gladdened with the news. “Might I entice ye tae play a game with me?”

“I would love to. It’s been so long though, I might be a bit rusty.” Claire stopped remembering what he said. ‘Tis hard for me tae find an opponent. No’ many people want tae play against me. Curiosity got the better of her. “Um, Jamie? Why can’t you find anyone to play a game with?”

“Sit Sassenach, make yerself comfortable,” he offered. A sly grin spread across his face. “Ladies choice, which do ye prefer, the black or the white?”

“White. No, I’d prefer black. I don’t like making the opening move.”

“Having the opening move can give ye an advantage and ye will need it. I was Captain of my chess club in high school and in Uni. I’m no’ being bold when I tell ye I have won many competitions. I am offering ye a chance tae win.”  A cocky look spread across his face as he went about setting up the chessboard.

So that’s why no one will play with him. He was a chess prodigy. “No, I didn’t know that.” Tapping a finger against the table, Claire carefully weighed this new piece of information deciding how to use it. She played well but simply was not in Jamie’s league.  Her competitive nature rose to the surface with his challenge. If she wanted to win, and she did, she knew she would need an edge. Just, not the one he was offering.

 ”No, I stand by my choice. I’ll take black,” she smiled coyly. There’s more than one way to win this game, my lad, she thought.

The first mistake, he mused. By allowing him to open it would allow him to play aggressively. He wanted the game over in twenty moves or less. And to do that he would make use of the King’s Gambit. Bobby Fischer defeated an opponent in eight maneuvers. Jamie knew he was good but not that good. 

He opened by moving his pawn to e-4. 

Claire countered by placing a pawn to e-5.

A white pawn moved to f-4.

Smiling smugly, Claire accepted the challenge by taking this pawn. 

Just what I want, he thought as his lip turned slightly upward. Not wanting to appear aggressive and moving too quickly, Jamie sat rubbing his chin in concentration.

Looking up he watched as Claire’s fingers lightly stroked her arm up then down. Her fingers eventually traveled up, over her shoulder then down to graze over the edge of her breast. Slowly. Touching herself just with the tips of her fingernails the outline of her breast became visible beneath her silk robe. She followed the same pattern over and over. His mouth hung open hypnotized by her. He shook his head like a wet dog to dispel his thoughts. And oh what thoughts he was having.

“Knight to f-3,” he announced.

Claire smiled taking in his chosen placement.

She licked her lips jutting out her plump bottom lip as she considered her next position.

Surreptitiously, Jamie looked at that sweet voluptuous lip peeping out at him. What he wouldn't give to suck it into his mouth and tease it with his teeth and tongue. Christ, the woman was driving him mad.  Get yer mind back on the game, he told himself.

“Pawn to g-5.”

Jamie looked pleased with her play. He bit the inside of his cheek while considering his next strategic move.

Claire studied the board intently waiting for Jamie to place his piece. Her index finger gravitated to her lips gently gliding over it. Lips parting, her fingertip entered her mouth and she began to lightly suck it. Her finger floated across her lips making them glisten with the dew from her mouth. She smiled coquettishly as she dropped her hand to caress the black Bishop. Her movements were sensuous, sliding over the chess piece from top to bottom, bottom to top. She made a slight twisting motion as she stroked the piece. 

Jamie’s eyes never left her hand. His mouth went dry.

“It’s still your turn” she whispered demurely. 

“Pawn to h-4,” he choked out his words. Small beads of sweat appeared on his lip.

“Pawn to g-5” she stated sweetly. 

Jamie refused to look up at her, “Knight to g-5.”

“Hum, interesting, Pawn to h-6.” Jamie’s hand rested next to the board. She placed her hand over his and began to trace patterns over the back of his hand.

He burned from the contact of her skin on his. Gently he removed his hand, immediately regretting the loss of her caress. Rubbing the side of his nose he tried to clear his head from the sight and feel of her. He meant to win this game and she was doing her best to distract him. Weel, he wouldna let her.

“Knight to f-7,” Jamie countered hoping Claire would expose her King.

Claire brought her King forward taking Jamie’s Knight.

“Queen to g-4,” Jamie grinned, setting up his advanced attack.

“Knight to f-6,” Claire defends her King. 

Jamie smirked, after this move, he was three moves away from winning. “Queen to f-4.”

He looked at Claire, finding her absorbed pondering her next move. Her hand followed the V of the neckline of her robe. Leaning forward, her hand gracefully began to trace her décolletage exposing more and more skin with each pass of her hand. Soon the curve of her breast was exposed. 

His eyes darkened with just a sliver of blue iris exposed. A deep rumbling noise rose from the back of his throat, dangerous, predatory. 

Stretching, Claire reached for her King placing it on f-8 enabling Jamie to see her hardened nipples straining against the filmy fabric. 

He rose walking to the side of the table bending over as if to examine the position of the pieces in play. Straightening up he turned and snatched Claire’s arm pulling her impossibly close to his heated body. 

“Let’s play something else,” he growled, capturing her mouth as he had planned on seizing her King. His mouth was hungry for hers. He licked, nipped, and tasted her mouth with kisses slow and erotic. One hand reached up and cupped her head while the other drew her closer against him, jealous of the space the air between them occupied. His kisses deepened, searing her lips. His hand buried deeper into her curls, as his kisses became more demanding.

 Claire melted against him, her mouth open to him as her robe gave way leaving her exposed. He palmed her breast roughly feeling the puckered nipple under his hand. He rolled it between his fingers causing her to whimper. 

“Yer a right dodgy player Claire. Ye dinna play fair teasing me, distracting me throughout the game,” he snarled. “And for that, yer coming with me. We’re gonna play a new game.”

He lifted her, threw her over his shoulder, and strode with single-mindedness toward the bedroom.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Fraser? Put me down this instant!” Claire bellowed kicking her legs, hitting him in the back in between fits of laughter. 

“Haud yer wheesht, woman!” 

Jamie unceremoniously dropped Claire onto the bed. Standing at the side of the bed he loomed over her. His breath harsh and his chest heaving. His eyes were glazed over with lust. She lit a fire in his belly that needed to be put out. He licked his lips anticipating what was to come next. 

Claire scrambled to her knees backing away from him just a little.

Raising her chin in defiance, “What do you plan on doing to me?”

His lips curled into a smirk, “I’m going to kiss ye.”

She blinked. “We’re going to play a kissing game? Isn’t that childish?” she asked in confusion.

“Oh no, lassie, ‘tis a verra good game. ‘Tis one where I get tae devour ye and leave ye with naught but yer cries for mercy.”

Claire studied him, trying to puzzle him out. She eventually gave it up as a lost cause.

“Um, well I do like kissing you.”

“I ken that.” His eyes gleamed.

Jamie crawled up onto the bed. His body radiated so much heat it could be felt from several inches away. He was a blazing inferno.

He sat back on his haunches fixing her with a piercing look. 

Claire’s spine tingled under his scrutiny. It was unnerving her.

“Give me yer mouth, Sassenach,” he requested sweetly.

Claire leaned forward and placed a quick peck on his lips.

“Ok, so we’re done, right?” she asked nervously not quite knowing what to expect. 

“And ye call that a kiss? Tsk! Nay, we haven’t even started yet,” he grinned wickedly.

Jamie removed his shirt then sat back to remove his sweatpants. 

He shifted himself to sit so his back rested against the headboard. “Come here, sit beside me,” he requested, patting the space next to him.

Claire hesitated for a moment then moved to sit beside him.

His arm came up wrapping around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“See, that’s so much nicer, is it no’?”

“What are you up to Jamie?” she asked one eyebrow quirked in question.

“I told ye, a nighean I just want to kiss ye.” 

He cupped her face, turning it toward him. His tongue slipped out to wet his lips. Slowly he lowered his face until their lips were a breath away. He placed a kiss so light it felt like the wings of a dove floating across her lips

“‘Tis pleasant?” he whispered into her mouth.

“Yes,” Claire replied breathily.

“Good. May I kiss ye again?”

“Mmhm.”

Brushing an errant curl away from her face, he tilted her head back seeking out her mouth like he did that morning. Still sweet from the honey and berries he ate for breakfast, he fitted his lips to her’s. Slowly he increased the pressure on Claire’s mouth molding them together creating delicious friction. 

Jamie pulled away momentarily giving her a sinful grin. His eyes engulfed her, finally settling on her mouth. He felt like a man drowning and only her kiss and her breath could save him.  Her mouth was his lifeline. Jamie lowered his head and began to rain kisses across her mouth lightly at first then deeply, possessively.

Jamie broke away, resting his forehead against hers. Tenderly he brushed his lips across her cheek, then to her ear to nibble at the shell. Finding her succulent earlobe, he drew it into his mouth caressing it suggesting things yet to come.

Claire dropped her head back whimpering, making an offering of her alabaster neck to him. She pulled at his hair, dragging him closer.

Jamie plied his attentions to the long column of her neck, nibbling, sucking her sensitive skin. Using his mouth he gently nudged her robe off her shoulders letting it drop off her shoulders, and slide down her arms pooling around her hands and bum. 

Claire sucked in her lower lip gently biting it.

He grinned. Softly, he placed tiny kisses along her shoulder working his way down her arms until he reached her hand. He kissed her wrist, her palm. Raising her hand so she could see, he took each finger into his mouth and sucked each digit in its turn.

Claire began to shudder and breathe heavily by the time he finished with her thumb.

Jamie repeated his ministrations to the opposite hand, arm and shoulder. Dropping his head, he lowered his lips brushing them across her chest down to her breast. Finding her nipple he began to suckle one then the other making each one harden and pebble. He scraped his teeth gently against the tender nipple as it slipped from his mouth. 

She became restless, shifting her body arching her back needing to come closer to him.  Claire gasped at the sensations running through her.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth; for your love is more delightful than wine,” Claire whispered. 

“Quoting Scripture are ye?” Jamie smiled broadly knowing what he was doing to her.

His mouth and tongue trailed kisses down over her belly, slowly, languorously. “Beautiful, yer so beautiful mo nighean donn.”

“Jamie, I... I... ah...Oh, god.”

He chuckled, as he felt her melt with each kiss he pressed on her. She deserved every slow torturous one he would give her. After all, fair’s fair.

Jamie continued his downward trek, kissing the soft skin of her inner thigh, behind her knee, down to her toes. Using the opposite leg he began his ascent toward his ultimate goal.

“Jamie, please, I need...I want...more. Please, Jamie.”

“Do ye no’ like my kisses? Do ye want me tae stop?” he asked, giving her a soulful look. His voice was full of hurt and disappointment.

 Leaning up on her elbows to look him in the face, “No, no. I mean I want more. Christ, I don’t know what I mean.” And she flopped back onto the pillows, biting her lip and began uttering odd throaty sounds.

He smiled smugly, “Then ye shall have it.”

Reaching her core, he blew softly over it causing Claire to buck. 

“Hush now, Sassenach let me kiss ye.”

His mouth settled into its work, beginning to kiss her most intimately. Lightly at first then pressing deeper lavishing all his attention on her sensitive flesh. 

Claire moaned and whined. Her hands tangled in his hair sliding down to cup his face. Close, she was so close. “Jesus H. Roooosevelt Chrissst,” she hissed.

And then he stopped and rose up to sit next to her. He was hard as stone but was determined to see this through. She needed to learn it wasn’t nice to manipulate someone especially someone who loves them. “What would ye like to do now, Sassenach? Watch a movie? We could read a book, perhaps? Maybe a nice brisk walk instead.”

“Whaaat? What do you mean what do I want to do? I want you to finish what you started,” she snarled with frustration.

“Oh, but I did, my own,” he said as he leaned over to kiss the crown of her head. I said I wanted tae kiss ye and I did. I also said I would leave ye with naught but yer cries for mercy. And I did that too.” A satisfied grin plastered over his face.

“Mac na galla,” she shouted at him as she picked up a pillow and swung it at him beating him ferociously wherever she could reach him.  

He laughed at her use of Gàidhlig to swear at him while trying to deflect the blows of the murderous pillow.

“I surrender madam, I surrender, ” he laughed. She looked so fierce his wee Sassenach lassie. Eyes flashing, skin flushed with anger, all pink and rosy. She was glorious.

“That isn’t very nice of you, Jamie Fraser. To leave me all worked up wanting, needing…” He raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Now ye ken how I felt during the chess match.”

She looked abashed as she clutched the pillow to her chest. “Well, I wanted to win,” she muttered petulantly as she gave him a sidelong look.  “I mean you were bragging about what a great chess champion you are, so I resorted to using my womanly wiles. I had to do something to even the playing field,” she retorted. Claire turned her head away as she picked at an imaginary loose thread on the pillow slip, “I shouldn’t have done that. It was very poor sportsmanlike behavior on my part,” she blushed. “But you set me up, Jamie Fraser. You didn’t tell me you were some great chess champion until after I agreed to the match. That wasn't fair either,” she glared at him.

“Aye, yer right, and I’m sorry for it. Forgive me, Claire?”

Her facial expression softened from annoyance to tenderness, “Yes, forgiven. Forgive me too?”

Jamie tipped her head up and looked into her eyes that reminded him of liquid honey fresh from the hive. “Forgiven, mo ghràdh.”

“We could have a re-match if you like.” 

“I dinna think so, ye’ll cheat. Ye canna help it,” he glowered at her. “Let’s just leave it as a draw, hm?”

“You’re right about that,” Claire laughed. “I don’t like losing. A draw it is.”

“Come here mo chridhe, ” he beamed holding open his arms to her.

Claire eyed him suspiciously, “What are you planning to do?”

“I want tae kiss ye, ” he chuckled.

“Oh no, you don't. You're not going to get me all riled up again and not finish the job. I'm no fool you know.”

“Never thought ye were. I just thought we could start at the beginning and see where it takes us,” he proposed as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Sound like a plan?”

Claire launched herself into his arms, ”Aye, that sounds wonderful.”

***************************************************************************************

CABG - Coronary Artery Bypass Grafting - Treatment used for blocked coronary arteries. Open heart surgery.

Mitral Valve Repair/Replacement is a treatment used to repair if possible the mitral valve. If it is not repairable, it is replaced either with a tissue valve made from the lining of a pig or cow’s heart or a metallic mechanical valve. It is possible for any heart valve to be repaired or replaced, not only the mitral.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth; for your love is more delightful than wine - Song of Songs 1:2 New International Version of the Holy Bible

[softlass27]

Flufftober Day 7 – Stop hogging the blankets

AO3 link here

“Stop hogging the blankets.”

“You stop hogging the blankets. You’ve already got more than me!”

“I’m taller than you, there’s more of me to cover.”

Aaron snorts and yanks as much of the blanket as he can without disturbing the small, sleeping figure sprawled out on top of their torsos.

It’s a Friday night, and they’d agreed to take Eve off Chas and Paddy’s hands for the weekend. Leaving them to… fight, talk, not talk… in peace. They’re going through yet another rough patch; Chas sick to death of Paddy and wanting more than what he can offer, Paddy sulking and snapping and refusing to admit to anyone that something’s seriously wrong.

Not that he needs to. The whole village knows the state of their relationship these days; it’d been aeons since they’d bothered trying to keep their arguments private, no longer bothering to confine them to the back room or after closing hours. They’d snipe and shout at each other in full view of the bar, whilst customers looked on with discomfort or interest, depending on who was watching.

It’s unfortunately become a regular cycle over the last few years, one that Aaron wishes to God they would break by ending things once and for all and putting everyone out of their misery. Mainly Eve.

She’d been quiet and withdrawn when Aaron had picked her up and brought her to the Mill, barely answering any of his questions about her day at school or how she wanted to spend the weekend. Even her favourite tea of pizza and chips (finally, someone who appreciated Aaron’s level of culinary skill) hadn’t cheered her up.

Aaron could guess the reason for her low mood, but he didn’t know what to do about it, how to bring her out of her shell. Seb was visiting Rebecca for the weekend, so they didn’t even have him to distract her with his toys or games.

As heavy rain had begun to pour from the sky, loud taps thundering on the roof and windows, Robert had gotten to his feet and declared it was the perfect night to build a blanket fort. That had finally gotten a reaction out of Eve, her head shooting up instantly.

“Mummy never lets me make forts!” she’d cried, smiling for the first time that night. “She says it’s too messy.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about mess here,” Robert had said with a wink. “We can just make Aaron tidy up later, can’t we?”

“Oh, charming,” Aaron had grouched, but he’d started shifting chairs around without protest.

“And – and can we stay in it all night?”

“That’s the idea, short stuff,” Aaron ruffled her hair. “No point in a blanket fort if you can’t sleep in it, is there?”

Eve had gaped at him, eyes wide and excited like it was the best thing she’d ever heard, and Aaron was really starting to wonder just how miserable things were for her at home.

The three of them had gathered every quilt, blanket and pillow they could find, and in just twenty minutes they’d managed to construct a pretty impressive fort, if Aaron did say so himself. Robert had dug out some of their Christmas lights from the messy cupboard and strung them up across the roof before flicking off the main light, creating a cosy little cocoon for them to crawl into.

It was a bit of a squeeze, but they’d made it work, and spent the rest of the night watching films on Robert’s laptop and drinking hot chocolate in their pyjamas. Eve had cheered up quickly, her mood doing a total 180 from the second they’d started gathering fort-building supplies. Still a little quieter than usual, perhaps, but for the most part she’d been all smiles for the remainder of the night.

Now she’s passed out on top of them, head and arms flopped on Robert’s chest while her legs spread across Aaron’s stomach, well and truly crashed out from the sugar and excitement. Neither of them had the heart to move her, so they’d made themselves as comfortable as they could and settled in for the night, listening to the soothing sound of the rainfall outside.

“My back’s gonna be screaming at me by morning,” Robert grumbles next to him.

“This was your idea, mate.”

Robert huffs but quirks a smile at him. “Not my worst though, was it?”

Aaron tilts his head to face him and smiles back. “Nah, one of your better ones actually. For a minute I was scared she’d be gloomy all weekend.”

“If having an eight-year-old kid’s taught me anything, it’s that forts make everything better.”

He’s not wrong, blanket forts are probably one of Seb’s favourite things in the world.

“How were they when you picked her up?” Robert asks tentatively. “I didn’t get to ask before.”

“Oh y’know, the usual. Barely lookin’ at each other, snarky comments, one leaving the room as soon as the other comes in. Eve sat on the sofa stuck in the middle of it all. You could’ve cut the tension with a knife.”

“That explains her being so down, then.”

Aaron glances down at Eve, double-checking she’s actually as dead to the world as they thought.

“I wish they’d just call it quits – for her sake as much as anythin’.”

Kids aren’t stupid – Aaron knows that better than anyone. The back of the pub isn’t exactly spacious, only a few small rooms with thin walls, and he has a feeling Eve’s seen and heard a lot more than she’s supposed to. It makes his blood boil.

He knows what it’s like to grow up in a home with parents who spend every day either fighting or ignoring each other (of course, what came after was worse, much worse, and he’s forever grateful that Eve will never know that kind of pain, at least). He could kill his mum for putting another child through it all over again. She was supposed to be better this time.

He can still remember the unhappy way she used to look at him when he was a kid, that horrible feeling of just knowing that she’d rather be anywhere else than at home with him. That she wanted something different, something more.

“I know,” Robert says quietly next to him. “Me too.”

“Part of me wishes I’d never pushed them to be together in the first place.”

“You didn’t push them.”

“I sort of did, though. I wanted them to get back together so badly all those years ago, I thought they’d make each other happy. And all it’s done is make them miserable.”

“Well, maybe,” Robert sighs and bumps his head gently against Aaron’s. “But if they’d never gotten back together, we wouldn’t have ended up with this one, would we?”

He nods down at Eve, who shuffles slightly and very nearly kicks Aaron in an area that he’d really rather she didn’t. He carefully rearranges her so her feet are safely out of the danger zone, and shoots Robert a grin.

“You mean you wouldn’t have your little admirer?”

“Give over,” Robert rolls his eyes, but Aaron knows just how much he and Eve adore each other.

Aaron’s little sister had been smitten with Robert since before she was even walking, clinging to him like a tiny shadow – much to Chas and Paddy’s displeasure.

“Guess you were bound to be her favourite,” Aaron muses. “She’s related to me, after all.”

“Can’t argue with genetics, I suppose. Would explain why Seb does every chore you ask him to while I can barely get him to pick up after himself.”

“That’s because he knows you’re a soft touch, got nothin’ to do with biology.”

“If you say so,” Robert sighs contentedly, eyes drifting closed.

They lie in silence for a few minutes, Aaron staring up at the fairy lights twinkling above them.

“I just wish there was something I could do,” he whispers. “To make it better for her.”

Robert cracks an eye open and shakes his head at him. “You’re already doing it, you muppet.” He presses a kiss to Aaron’s cheekbone. “Whatever happens with your mum and Paddy… as long as we’re here, she’ll be okay.”

[fairymadnessyeah]

A Definitely Real Dad

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016309

Summary: Gyro seeks advice from an expert when he is faced with his greatest foe yet: Parenting an adorable real boy.

Or Alternatively: Mad scientist feeling emotions for tiny adorable robot needs help from tired and expert parent that is also a sailor.

Notes: This needs to happen.

Also Ducktales Disney right now: "You get a child, you get a child, you get a child, EVERYBODY GETS A CHILD!!!!"

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"Why do you think Doctor Gearloose invited us to his lab?" Huey asked his companions Louis, Dewey, Webby, Della and Donald as they rode the elevator to the underwater laboratory below McDuck Enterprises'.

The elevator dinged and open its doors, revealing Doctor Gearloose looking at a piece of paper while Manny, Lil Bulb and Fenton working on a turbine.

"Oh, the ducks are here!" Gyro exclaims, folding the paper he had on his hands and pocketing it in his pants. He gently leads the family to where his partners were working as he explains why he needed them here. "I need your assistance testing my new mega super plane turbine powered by gold!"

Almost all the ducks present gasp in amazement and run towards the invention. The only one that looks at it in suspicion is the mature Donald Duck. He eventually shrugs it off, his uncle's employee wouldn't purposely put his kids in danger. But then he feels a feathered hand on his shoulder and a dark aura behind him. He turned around slowly, the feathers at the back of his neck standing up.

Doctor Gyro Gearloose was looking down at him, his face neutral and the light shining against his glasses hid his eyes, making him look extremely intimidating. "You will come with me Mr Duck," The scientist tells him slowly and threateningly.

As the unluckiest duck on the world was being shoved to a side room by the mad scientist, his family, ignorant to what was happening to him, kept playing with the machine. Although it didn't take long for the kids and Della to lose interest. As the turbine got boring, they noticed that the duck sailor was missing. Fenton dismissed their worries though, telling them that Doctor Gearloose probably needed him for something and continued to show them his inventions.

"And these are my spy-bugs," Fenton presents, showing them a bunch of different flying insects robots. Pressing a code on a mini-computer, the firefly one activates, lifting into the air. "With these little guys, we would be able to have 24-hour surveillance. They all work in a hive-mind structure and are controlled by this remote device that can be connected with any sort of memory RAM. NOW CONTEMPLATE!" Fenton uses the remote device to move the firefly out of the room and then turn on the giant computer of the lab and it starts showing what the robot is recording.

"HOW COME YOU WON'T DO IT!?"  A shout echoes nearby the robot and Fenton, recognising Dr Gearloose voice, makes the machine follow the sound. They see an office where Gyro is holding Donald by his uniform and shaking him. The scientist then sighs and lets him go.  "Well, If you won't cooperate, then you leave me no choice!"  Gyro declares as he takes off his glasses dramatically and stands taller over the duck, looking ready to destroy him.

"PLEEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEEEE!"

The peppers let go of the breath they were holding. Gyro had not done anything to Donald, instead, he fell to his knees and begged the other bird as he held his glasses in his hands clasped like a prayer.

"Alright, I'll help you," Donald sighs, his voice resembling that of a normal being. Dewey said he sounded like an actor from one of those comic book movies that everybody got crazy for. "But I can't guarantee results," Gyro got up and, out of nowhere, got top-notch audio recording gear and sat on a stool with a note pad and a pen.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"First," Donald started. "You need to listen. Listen to what they say, how they say it and what they don't say. That is usually where the problems appear,"

"You also need to be trustworthy. You want them to come to you with their problems. But until that happens, you need to show them that you can and will help them solve their problem,"

"But if they don't tell me what's wrong how am I supposed to know that something is even wrong?" Gyro asks.

"That is the next tip, notice the little details. For example, whenever Huey drinks chocolate-milk with three spoons of cocoa powder instead of two, means that his junior woodchuck meeting didn't go so well; Whenever Dewey does a dance that consists of two spins, one flip and landing on bent knees and jazz hands means he is proud of something; or whenever Louis gets a wrinkle next to his right eye, means he is lying,"

"But the two most important things you need to remember and never forget is that you are a parent and that your life is not only yours anymore,"

"What do you mean?" Gyro asks again. "I am his parent, what else would I be?"

"It means that you aren't his friend, you aren't his buddy that will never get mad and will do anything for you. You are his parent and sometimes, you have to be the bad guy of the story," Donald tells him.

"And the life-thing?"

"It's his no. You eat what they want to eat, you eat what they want to eat, you watch what they want to watch. Your life revolves around them, they matter more than you or your feelings now,"

Gyro nods and it looks like he is about to say something but the screen turns black.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey," Dewey complains as the image disappears.

"I'm sorry little ducks, but that seemed like a private conversation and I refuse to eavesdrop on it anymore," Fenton tells them as the robotic-firefly returns and he leaves it with the rest. "Come, I have more inventions you can play with it," He gently guides them away from the monitor.

The ducks follow him with Lil Bulb behind them, except for one. The grown woman was starring at the screen. Every time she believed that she understood how the last years without her had been for her twin, she found out that there was something she had missed. And Donald's examples, about the tiniest details of the boys, she didn't know any of them, yet Donald seemed to know them by heart.

"Mom?" Dewey called as he turned back for her, after noticing she didn't follow them.

"Comin' honey" She snapped out of her inner monologue and followed her kids.

They spent a whole afternoon testing and helping Fenton, at some point, even Boyd joined them. The kids spent the evening together, playing, laughing and catching up. Boyd was now living full-time at the lab with Dr Gearloose, Manny and Lil Bulb.

The drakes had not taken the news very well, believing that once Boyd left, things would go back to the way things were before him. But the real boy made sure to pass his half of the inheritance to the two responsible adults, leaving Doofus without the power to be richer than his parents. They were all making plans for Boyd to come and sleepover at McDuck when the duck and the rooster that were missing came into the room. Dewey was the first one to ask for the cybernetic boy to come over.

"Well, I have no problem with it," Donald said in his normal voice.

"May I go, Dr Gearloose?" Boyd asks, looking up to the scientist.

"Maybe some other time, we still have to check if there is any residual damage from Beaks viruses on you," The chicken explains and pats the real boy on the head.

"Alright, thank you Dr Gearloose,"

Not long after the duck family is leaving, as well as Dr Fenton. Manny also retreated to his quarters soon enough. Gyro was working on Boyd wiring while the real boy was telling him about his day.

"And Mrs mom was very sad when I got to leave but she told me I can return any moment,"

"Would you like that?" Gyro asks remembering what Donald had told him.  ("Make him feel listened to. Do things he likes, and if they want to do anything without you, let him be. You are not the only person in his life.")

"Yes, that would be splendid! Once my programme is clear, could we visit?" Boyd asks.

"Of Course we can," Gyro tells him as he closes the lid on the robot's head. "But now it's time to recharge so that you have all your energy for tomorrow. You have that Woodchuck-thingy you like, right?"

"Yes, my Junior Woodchuck meeting, at 9:30 sharp, remember to bring Ice-pops wood sticks," He says as if reading a remainder on a calendar while the scientist and his creation when to Boyd's room.

The room used to be a storage closet for failed projects, but they put up a sliding door to give Boyd more privacy. The real boy had a closet, a small library with a study table, a laptop, some video-games and a bed. The bed was more like a nest, with a Japanese mattress and a lot of pillows and blankets piled up to make a circular form. Boyd would usually sleep in the middle with the blankets and pillows cocooning him in warmth. Next to his bed-nest, there is a tall bulbless lamp. Doctor Gyro used to have it in his room since it was Lil Bulb's resting place, but the little rascal moved it once Boyd's room started being furnished.

"Alright, I'll drive you tomorrow and we will pick up what you need on the way," Gyro tells him as he connects wires to his back panel to charge him. "If you need anything I will be on the room next door," The chicken said.  ("Always remind him that you are there for him. Kids tend to forget that,")

"Goodnight, Dr Gearloose!"

"Goodnight, Boyd!" He sees Lil Bulb climbing the lamp and posting himself on the top, before the light it emitted turned off before he leaves the room.

As soon as he is outside, the renewed scientist with a high intellect punched the air in excitement as the word "Success!" went off in his mind. When he turned to his side, heading towards his room, he saw Manny in front of his own door. The two scientists looked at each other for a while, no one moving, until the rooster fixes his clothes and his glasses.

"Not a tap from you, or your headless behind is fired," He tells the horse as he steps into his room.

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Another date, another morning, another day where Doctor Gyro Gearloose wakes up to another mistake made by naive and foolish Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera that he had to deal with. This time in the form of a weird duck dressed in so much black, that the scientist is willing to bet its a hobo-emo that his stupid ex-intern picked up last night. The guy looks extremely beat up and not alone. There is also that stupid pilot that hangs around McDuck and a girl duckling.

Gyro sighs frustrated and rubs his temples. He did not have time for this. He had to take Boyd to his scouts meeting and even buy something on the way there.

"Explanation, Now," Gyro demand as he goes closer and checks on the individual better.

Launchpad, Fenton and the kid, who he learns her name is Gosalyn and the daughter of said hobo-emo, tell him that Gizmoduck and Darkwing Duck had a sort of agreement. They each take turns patrolling the city, both day and night, but last night, Darkwing came upon something too big for him and Gosalyn, who Gyro was starting to realize had more brain cells than the three adults combined, called Gizmoduck for back up. The two self-proclaimed superheroes ended the job, but the one not protected by a metallic super-suit, unsurprisingly, got the worst part of the stick and ended up in here to recover.

Just as they finished explaining their night full of shenanigans, Boyd came out into the main room of the lab, wearing his Junior Woodchuck uniform and a backpack.

"Oh, hi! I am B.O.Y.D! A definitely real boy!" The android says once he notices the other unknown ducks in the room.

"I want them out of my lab by the moment I'm back, Crackshell. Understood?" Gyro threatens the other scientist, that nods in response, and then turns to Boyd. "Come on Boyd, we don't want to be late to your meeting," The boy takes his hand and the two walk to the elevator.

"It was nice to meet you!" Boyd tells the others and waves as the elevator doors close.

The two birds head to the central park of Duckberg, stopping on a convenience store on their way. Using his moped is easier and faster than any car, not needing to wait for traffic. And even if Boyd can fly, he had already told him to only use his robotic enhancements when needed. Not to mention that it also helps with one of the tips he was given yesterday.  ("You have to prioritize him. Once everything is done with him, you can follow with your day,")

The reach the park fairly quickly, but when he gives Boyd the things they bought for this meeting, he notices that the backpack moves. It takes him a second to realize that Bulb never came out of the boy's room.

"Come on out Lil Bulb," He tells the backpack, and sure enough, said invention comes out of the little boy's knapsack.

"He wanted to accompany me to my Junior Woodchuck meeting," Boyd tells him. "Can he come?" ("You have to set rules, boundaries. There are things that they can't do or can't touch. And you have to tell him so, because even if it sounds obvious to you, it might not to them.")

"He can't Boyd, I need him at the lab," He explains to the real boy.

"Understood. Goodbye, Doctor Gearloose!"

"I'll see you at lunch," The scientist gets back on his moped and straps his helmet on. He notices that Lil Bulb is giving his back to him with his arm crossed, as if offended over what happened. "Oh please, don't be difficult you too,"

As he makes his way back to the underwater lab, he can't help the feeling that those three lunatic and that girl are gonna be there. Not surprisingly, when the elevator's doors ding open, the idiot, the stupid and the girl are marvelling at the facility and its contents as hobo-emo was slowly getting off the table he was laid in and stretching his column back into place.

"Gosalyn, don't touch that! You don't know what it does!" He reprimands the girl.

Gyro sighs defeated and pours himself a cup of coffee. As he sips his revival elixir, his mind wanders at the purple and black buffoon before him. The guy was in a dire need of an upgrade. He didn't scream battle-suit like Gizmo, but maybe a few gadgets and a more protective and lasting outfit would benefit him. If the guy was going to go around and try to be a nameless and unrecognised vigilante, the least he could do was have more than just a costume and a poor ensemble of sidekicks.

"Gosalyn, No, Get down from there!" Or maybe what he needed was something else.

Gyro looked at the girl duckling, who was balancing over an old cloning tube of his, and then back at the nightly superhero, who had red lines over his eyes, enormous black bags under his eyes, a stiff neck and almost ready to drop dead any second now. Analysing the facts he had, he made a decision.

"Gosalyn, Get down from there, We need to go! Now!" The dark avenger of the night kept scolding the younger duck, that still lead him nowhere.

"Here," Gyro, out of nowhere, presented a card to the shorter man. "A parenting expert, it seems like you need it,"

Drake looks between the card and the scary mad scientist twice before taking the card. Gyro left him alone once he took it to keep working on his inventions, leaving Drake to his own devices with the card.

Donald Duck xxx-xxxx-xxxx McDuck Manor's Pool

[abrunettefangirlnerd]

It’s Too Much

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: You are a college student trying to get into nursing school. Being accepted into NYU’s program you just have to make the grade in one more class to start in the fall. This semester has been difficult and only gotten worse since this COVID-19 required your college to close. Living on campus and your family living in Colorado, makes moving back home extremely difficult. Besides you don’t want to leave. That is when your sweet boyfriend offered for you to stay at his apartment.

Oneshot

A/N: It may be a little long, but the ending is freaking adorable

10:15 pm

             Putting away the last bit of your clothes in Steve’s closet, you sigh in relief. Today has been so long starting with waking up early to move all your stuff out of your dorm. Your college has moved all classes online with the COVID-19 outbreak. Since there is virtually no reason to be at school, you decided to move out to get a reimbursement for the rest of the semester.

             Problem is, your school is in New York and your home is St. Louis, Missouri. There is no way for you to get everything in your car and drive half way through the country. Thankfully Steve, your boyfriend, has been gracious enough to share his apartment with you for the remainder of your semester.

             A warm-muscular arm wraps its way around your waist and pulls you toward an even more muscular body. Turning your body to face him, you burry your face in Steve’s chest as you wrap your arms around his torso. Steve places a soft kiss on the top of your head before leaning his against yours. Feeling the light brush of his breath against your hair lures your subconscious to the impending darkness of sleep.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Steve ask. A smile invades your features. You love how attentive he can be.

“No,” you pout. “Going to bed means waking up, and waking up means studying.”

             Steve’s grip on your loosens, prompting you to look up at him. A twinkle of mischief resides in his beautiful blue eyes. A part of you wants him to tell you what he is thinking, though it may be more fun for him to show you.

“I have an idea then.” Steve smirks.

             His arms encircle your legs before you could ask him what he’s up to. Throwing you over his shoulder he walks you over to the bed, and flips your body onto the soft mattress. Laughter erupts from your chest. You find it so cute when he acts so dominant because he surprisingly loves being submissive a great deal of the time. Though seems like tonight he wants to take the reins, and you are more than happy to let his dominant side take over tonight.

***

Next Morning

Inulin can determine glomerular filtration rate in the renal system because it is only filtered, not reabsorbed or secreted…

Mean arterial pressure can be calculated by taking systole + 2 (diastole) / 3…

Trypsin, chymotrypsin, and elastin are endopeptidase enzyme…

             You woke up, your thoughts running a million miles an hour. Looking over at Steve’s alarm clock you see that it reads 5:45 am. Well, I usually wake up at 6, what is 15 minutes really?

             Carefully shimmying out of Steve’s arms, you grab a new pair of underwear, and a fresh pair of sweats and t-shirt from Steve’s side of the closet. Heading over to the bathroom down the hall you turn on the water, wait for it to heat up, and step inside.

             Lathering your head with citrus smelling shampoo, you make a mental note of all the things you need to do today. A sheet of anxiety wraps around your body like a tight uncomfortable blanket. Taking deep breaths you try to focus on the warm water. Imagining it melt away the anxiety from your body, you begin to feel better. Before you know it, the last bit of body soap has been washed away and it is time to get out and start your day.

             Quickly getting dressed in Steve’s soft and warm clothes you head into the kitchen to make breakfast. Popping a bagel into the toaster, you search for some fruit in the refrigerator. Finally coming upon some cut up fruit, you take the container out and pour some on your plate. About that time your bagel is ready to go and all you need is your coffee. Tasting the warm-stimulating hazelnut coffee against your throat, you take a deep breath and dive into your studies

6:15 am

             Opening your laptop, you guide your mouse to a folder holding the rest of your physiology lecture videos. Your professor had his lectures recorded a few years back and thankfully saved them. Without these, you have no idea how challenging the last half of this semester would be.

             Scrolling through the list, you land upon the next video lecture. Waiting for the video to load, you take a sip of our coffee and plug in your headphones. Steve is an early morning riser but is definitely taking the opportunity to sleep in given the new situation. The last thing you want is to wake him up with your school work. He deserves to sleep in every once in a while.

7: 25 am

             Writing down the last bit of notes from the lecture, you look up and see that your breakfast has barely been touched. The bagel has a single bite and only half of the fruit remains. The floors creek behind the bedroom door signaling that Steve has woken up.

             As if on cue the door opens revealing a half asleep posture. Hearing him yawn you look up and offer a morning smile. As he heads into the kitchen for his own cup of coffee, you refocus on rewriting notes from the recent lecture. You have this rhythm down after the first couple weeks of the semester. After class you would rewrite the notes, neatly into a notebook and study them the next day.

“Want some breakfast?” Steve asks.

“I made me some.” You tilt your head toward you cold bagel and coffee and get a disapproving look from your boyfriend.  

8:00 am

             Taking out your laptop again, you log into your school’s blackboard account. You watch as the computer loads your Nutrition book as a yawn of your own settles across your lips. This is your least favorite class of the semester. It has nothing to do with the content. There is just so much of it and your teacher’s lectures are not helpful whatsoever.

“How about a break?” Steve looks up at you with puppy dog eyes, his head against your shoulder. “You just had to wear my clothes, you’re killing me.”

“Not yet, it is only eight in the morning. And I have to keep you entertained somehow.” A pinching feeling hits you in the gut as you think about taking Steve’s advice. You had the same problem while living in the dorm. You never take breaks unless you can’t see straight or it is time for bed, whichever comes first. Of course there were plans you would make with Steve that would take place of a break.

9:30 am

             Finally finishing the chapter for Nutrition, you head back into the kitchen. You throw away the rest of your uneaten breakfast and grab another pot of coffee. Taking in the precious smell you can feel your stomach start to growl from missing the other half of breakfast. You decide there isn’t enough time to make anything, and figure the coffee will just be enough.

“Hon,” Steve’s cautious voice looms over you. You can tell he is trying to tread lightly. He means well, but neither of you have been in this situation where you are living together.

“(Y/N), maybe you should eat something else.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine, thank you though.” You place a reassuring kiss on Steve’s cheek and then head into the living room again.

          The pinching gut feeling returns as you think about Steve’s expression. Maybe I should take a break? You shake your head and conclude you will take one later.

10:05 am

             The simulation for your physiology lab has finally loaded. Your professor for lab has ten lab simulations due this week by Thursday. With all the packing, moving, and unpacking this weekend you haven’t had the chance to get ahead of this. By Wednesday you have to take an online prelab quiz and be prepared to take a post lab quiz at the end of class on Thursday. Since it is all online now you have to definitely zero out time to get it all done on your own.

             Steve comes in with a plate in hand. On it is a piece of toast with a Nutella spread and banana slices nicely resting on top. Involuntarily, your mouth begins to water at the sight of food. Some find it a weird combination but you think it is the best thing you’ve found to eat in a while.

“Here, I made you this.”

             He places the plate of your physiology lab notebook. A tiny bit of annoyance restless onto your surface but you push it away. You know that Steve just wants to make sure you’re eating enough. At the beginning of last semester Steve noticed how little you started to eat with your added stress. This semester isn’t much better, but this way he at least gets to keep a better eye on you. You’ve never had a problem with your appetite. There is just so much on your mind, and so much stress that you barely remember to eat. When you do, it doesn’t take long for your nerves to get the better of you and suppress the want to keep eating.

“Thank you.” You say, and you snake your arm around his neck and bring him in for a kiss.

12:10 pm

“Okay, lunch time!” You claim, excited for a break. “How does a pizza sound?”

             Steve is in the corner of the room working out with his weights. Taking a moment from his current set, Steve nods in agreement. You find a small but noticeable grin hiding against his lips. He is clearly happy to see that you have finally taken a break… well a break to make food.

             The only pizza you guys have is a veggie and chicken frozen pizza. Taking it out of the wrapping, you preheat the oven and wait for it to beep. This moment allows you to turn on the tv and find “Friends” on the screen, your favorite show of all time. Steve crawls up against you even with sweat dripping off onto you.

“Babe! You’re dripping all over the pizza!” You laugh.

“Extra flavor?” Steve’s eyes glimmer as he represses his own laughter.

             After lunch you get back on your computer to log onto your Old Testament/Hebrew Bible class. After the class you organize your notes, work on your paper for the class, and review your notes from both physiology lecture and lab. It isn’t until 6 o’clock that evening before you are done. A friend from a class called needing you to explain something from the lecture today which took a little while.

**

             This routine repeated over and over during this week. Steve recognizes that there was no way this is going to change unless he said something. Though the last thing he wants to do is upset you. He knows how stressed you are about getting into the nursing program. You have a spot actually. You just need to get a B in physiology to keep it, and the first exam did not go as planned.

But Steve does know this isn’t healthy. You are ranging between 7-9 hours of work, with only an hour break at lunch to cook and eat. He would love to offer to cook for you, but he is scared that you’ll take that extra time to keep studying.

“Baby doll?” Steve peers around the corner leading into the living room. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure, one second. I just need to finish writing this thought.” You say as you scribble a few more notes in your notebook.

             Steve comes over and sits on the coffee table in front of you. He helps you move your school stuff away. You knit your eyebrows together in confusion. Normally you aren’t done for the day, it is only 4:30 pm.

             Steve’s knees lightly press against yours and he takes your hands in his. Rubbing circles into your skin with his thumbs you allow the soothing touch to calm your nerves. Steve leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead that you graciously accept.

“What’s up? You’re scaring me.” You say. A sinking feeling rests in your stomach that are sending your nerves in to a frenzy.

“I love you (Y/N). I love having you hear, but…” you can feel your heart drop. “I am worried about you. All you do is study. I’m sure this is what you’ve been doing this last year but I didn’t realize how much you do until now. You’re too tired to want to work out like you normally do, or able to stay awake while we are watching a movie. On top of that, you barely eat. It’s not healthy.”

“I know, you’re right.” A tear falls down your face. “Living in the dorm I never felt like I could get away from school. I felt like I had to constantly study. When I stayed the night here it would help me separate it easier. Though since I can’t leave, and some of my professors have added extra assignments I’m feeling it becoming a bigger problem than before.”

“Well, then.” Steve’s soft lips graze across yours, taking your breath away. “Let me help with that.”

             Pulling you on his lap, Steve’s fingers tangle in your hair. Steve presses his forehead against yours and both sets of eyes close. Stroking his hands through your hair, you focus on Steve’s breathing. You can’t believe you are lucky enough to find a man that actually cares about your well-being. He is right and you know it. From now on you’re going to do your best to not let school be your whole life.

“You know what I want to do?” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“If you say study,” Steve grumbles, “I’m throwing your notebooks out the window.”

              Shaking your head no, you start by placing a kiss on Steve’s cheek. Trailing down his face onto his neck, Steve grips your hips which brings your body closer. Steve does not understand how great of an advantage he just gave you, and you try to suppress the smile peaking up from your lips. Wrapping your arm around his torso, you wait a moment before reaching behind him. Finding what you are looking for, you bring your lips back to his. Eagerly accepting your kiss he almost doesn’t feel the nerf bullet hit his side.

“Oh no,” Steve’s voice is low and you can feel your heart beat faster. “You’ve done it now.”

             Stumbling to get away, you leap over the back of the couch for cover. Peering over the edge you aim your nerf gun where you last see him, but Steve is already gone. You listen for any sudden movements and try to recall where the other gun was last seen. Remembering it was in the bedroom, you stealthily slide across the floor hoping for another sneak attack.

             Reaching the door, you find it cracked open. You slip your body slowly into the dark room and reach for the light switch. If Steve is hiding, you want to find him before he finds you. The lights turn on and brighten up the room, making your eyes squint.

“Surprise!” Steve jumps from the side of the bed as you feel two nerf bullets attack your abdomen. “I win!”

“But I got you first!” You playfully whine.

“Doesn’t count.” Steve insists. “I win, and I want first place prize.”

             Steve takes even strides toward you. Stopping in front of you, his body towers over your own. His arms pin you against the wall as his wild eyes peer into yours. A burning desire of anticipation ripples through your chest. It is almost too much to bare until Steve finally crashes his lips to yours. Running your hands over his body, and his over yours, you lead him toward the bed and show him how lucky you are to have him.

[dutten-does-the-fanfic]

I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great) ch. 12

Title:  I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great) ch. 12 of 14 (ch. 1)   Pairing: Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Næsheim   Word count: 11.205   Warnings: Language, internalized homophobia, closeting, using alcohol as an unhealthy coping mechanism, the slightest bit of violence

AO3

Summary:  The one where it’s been two years since Isak last saw or spoke with Even, and no one knows that Isak ever knew Even at all

Present

“I need to talk to him.”

Isak hasn’t said a lot since he found out pretty much everything he’d believed with utmost certainty for the past two years has been a lie. He has let Magnus, Jonas, and Mahdi talk, but they’d quieted down a little while ago, having run out of words and the words they’d had unable to help.

“Yeah,” Jonas agrees, but he sounds hesitant. “Just – don’t get yourself hurt, okay?”

Isak shrugs. “I’m already hurt. I’m going to get hurt when he leaves. There’s no way around it, I just – I need to talk to him. Before he’s gone and I can’t.”

Jonas’ eyes are soft. He smiles at him and nods in agreement, but he looks sad. “Okay.

“But come back out here if he isn’t ready to talk, okay?” Magnus looks worried. “You’ll just hurt each other unnecessarily if the both of you aren’t ready to talk.”

“You can stay with me tonight, if that’s the case,” Jonas promises him. “Or you can have my room and I’ll sleep on the couch, or I can go to Eva’s, if you want to be alone.”

Isak does not want to be alone. He’s been alone for so long, has barely had a chance to not be alone always, always.

He thinks he might be ready to see what it’s like not having to be on his own.

Isak still hesitates outside of his door for a little too long to not reveal how nervous he is right now.

It’s been hours since he found out – since he and Even – all the lies – and he’s not certain he’s managed to wrap his head around it fully yet, so he doubts Even has managed to either.

He carefully knocks three times against the door. There’s no reply.

Something that is different this time, he fitfully forces himself to consider.

This time Even isn’t halfway across the world. This time, Isak knows where he is and he knows he just has to open the door in order to talk to him.

The hallway is dark around Isak, no last remainder of the day’s natural light to brighten it, so he has to blink a couple times when he finally opens up the door and steps inside of his room.

Even’s sitting on his bed, back against the headboard and staring down at the phone in his hands. It’s very reminiscent of the exact same scene Isak had walked in on last night when they’d spent the night together. It doesn’t feel like it was last night, it feels like it happened much longer ago than that.

“Hey,” he clears his throat, leans against the door and tries not to come across as anxious and upset as he feels.

Even doesn’t reply. Doesn’t even look up to acknowledge Isak’s presence. Just stays there, sitting on Isak’s bed and staring at his phone like it holds all the secrets in the world.

It doesn’t, Isak knows, because the only secret that had been kept that was of any importance to Isak has already come out into the open.

“Do you mind if I come in?” Isak tries again. Still with no reply.

He sighs and takes a careful step further into the room. ‘Come back out if he isn’t ready to talk,’ Magnus had said, but Isak doesn’t think he’ll ever be brave enough to do this again if he doesn’t do it now, at least not until it’s too late and Even has left the country again for Isak to regret not taking the chance when he could.

Something that would’ve been different, he thinks. He and Even wouldn’t be treading this lightly around each other, wouldn’t find it so hard to talk when talking to each other had been what they’d been literally best at.

He closes the door softly behind him as he moves further in. Even doesn’t object, but that might not mean anything.

“Did you call someone?” he asks, winces when he realizes how that might’ve sounded. He hopes it didn’t come across as an interrogation.

It’s just that Isak has had Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi to sit with him, to let him rant if he’d wanted to do that, to just be there with him, and Isak sincerely hopes that Even hasn’t been completely isolated in Isak’s room, to sit with his own thoughts until he starts to spiral.

Even doesn’t reply.

Maybe he just needs a few seconds. Isak tries to give him that in silence, but standing around and obviously avoiding looking over at Even is awkward as hell, so he moves over to his desk instead.

It’s a mess. He hasn’t cleaned in ages, not since before Even had showed up outside their front door. He’s got schoolwork and pencils and various objects lying in disarray that he slowly, quietly, sets to sorting out.

Until he can’t take it anymore.

“Are you just never going to say anything to me ever again?” Isak huffs bemused, fiddling with his laptop, placing it on the desk so as to not look at Even.

Finally, a reaction.

Even’s head snaps up to look at Isak, and Isak’s heart drops to the bottom of his stomach when he sees the expression on Even’s face. He looks angry and hurt and Isak wishes he could’ve just kept his big mouth shut.

But he still doesn’t say anything.

He sits up straight, swings his legs over the edge of the bed so he sits with his back to Isak, and then he gets up and walks over to the window.

The curtains are still drawn, so it’s not like something has caught Even’s attention. It’s just so he can fully avoid having to look at Isak.

Isak squeezes his eyes shut.

Something that would’ve been different, he thinks. Even wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

But when he thinks that thought, he wonders how true it actually is.

Because Isak had been given Even’s ultimatum, in a fucked-up sense of the matter. Essentially, Even had been told he could choose between being married to a guy and getting to make his movies. Even hadn’t gotten to actually make that choice because Isak had ended up making it for him, but what if he had? What if the studio had approached Even first instead of involving Isak in the shadiest way possible – what if they had told Even that it was movies or Isak?

How could that not have hurt him? Finding out that people think that what they had, that their love for each other was so wrong that there was no way Even could be both in love and successful. Not in this universe.

No matter what choice Even would’ve ended up making, it would’ve broken him.

And now that Isak takes his time to really think about it, he’s not sure that what ended up happening wasn’t the right choice.

Not that how it happened wasn’t fucked up, but – Even wouldn’t have gotten the opportunities he did if he’d had Isak hanging onto his elbow. He wouldn’t have gotten to where he is today.

Because Even is a world-famous movie director, and Isak knows that’s what he and the boys have been referring to him as since they first met each other, but it only seems to strike Isak now when Even has spent days sitting on his bed, sipping a lukewarm cup of tea, has slept in his bed, has eaten the meals that Isak had prepared for him and let Isak take care of him when he needed it – essentially everything that they’d done before – now that Even is hurt and pissed off and can’t look Isak in the eye.

Even is a world-famous movie director. He has met A-list celebrities, has told them what to do, does so for a living, has been interviewed by big names and has access to places most people can only dream about getting into. He has awards for his works.

Yet he slots into Isak’s life like he never really left when the fact is he doesn’t belong here in Isak’s dirty room, in Isak’s stupid, inferior life. Isak could never give him his dreams.

Isak wants to cry.

Not because this is the first time the thought has crossed his mind. He’d been thinking the exact same thing when the phone calls had started to grow scarce and shorter than ever, but because Isak knows he’ll have to make the same choice today.

Because he still wants this for Even. He still wants for him to make his movies and for him to be loved. Isak still can’t give him that – that isn’t something that has changed.

He’s not certain why he’s even thinking about this. It’s been two years. Isak has no reason to believe Even would be interested in sticking around for his messed-up teenage marriage. Not when he has the world lined up as an alternative.

A thought pops into Isak’s head, intrusive and controversial. He doesn’t know where the voice comes from – probably Jonas, because it sounds like something Jonas might say, or Eskild for that matter.

Why does one cancel out the other?

Why would having Isak with him mean that he couldn’t make movies?

Even is already out. The big scandal has already happened. Isak can’t contribute to a further damage of Even’s reputation and career, not unless he royally fucks up, even more so than he’d had when he’d thought Even had chosen the temptation of fame and Hollywood over Isak.

And again, all of this might just be for naught, because there is no guarantee that Even will even want anything to do with Isak after he leaves, when he’s walked out the door and once again the last of Even Isak will see is his back as he walks away from him.

It’s a terrifying thought, but not as terrifying as his next one.

Something that is different, Isak thinks. This time, he won’t make the same mistake twice. He isn’t letting Even go without talking to him first. And if that means he has to talk at him for the time being, then that’s how it’ll be.

“I think I was just waiting for you to leave me.”

Even whirls around at the admission, any signs of residue anger gone from his face that instead portrays utter incredulousness.

He frowns. “You said to go –“

“I know what I said,” Isak interrupts, looks down at his hands because if he looks at Even too long whilst he’s open like this, vulnerable, exposed, giving Even a piece of himself, one of the few remaining pieces that he hasn’t already given and gotten back torn apart, broken and irreparable, he’ll start to cry. “And that’s not what I’m talking about, anyway. Right from the start, when we first met, I think I was waiting for the moment you’d leave.”

Isak chances a look at Even – maybe if he’s quick it won’t set off the waterworks – but what he sees is worse than crying in front of Even.

Even looks hurt, looks at Isak like he’s ripped the ground out from underneath him, like everything he knows has been a lie.

He looks like Isak imagines he’d looked when he’d stared at the paperwork asking for his signature to terminate his marriage.

“Then why didn’t you just leave sooner?” Even’s voice cuts through his skin, angry but more so screaming out hurt-hurt-hurt.

Isak grimaces as he realizes how what he’d just said sounded like.

“Not like that either, I –“ he makes a frustrated little sound and hides his face away in his hands, taking a moment try and force his lungs to work.

Fuck, this is hard to do. Isak isn’t prepared, had never thought this would be a reality, that he’d ever have to meet Even again, have to look him in the eyes, have to explain shit when Even should be the one to fucking finally give Isak a goddamn reason.

“You said ‘come’, and I followed,” he says through his hands, the sleeve of his hoodie right in front of his mouth. Isak stares at the slightly darker grey spot from his wet lips when he drops his hands back into his lap. “Because – because you’re you, Even. You’re someone everyone wants to be the attention of, and you looked at me and said ‘come’ and so I did. Because I was in love with you, and I tried so hard to always be ready when you’d ask me to come, and –“

His voice cracks embarrassingly. Isak shuts his eyes tightly, goes as far as holding his breath as if that will achieve anything.

It’s quiet in the room. He can’t even hear Even’s breathing, if he’s breathing, and sitting like this on his bed in his room in his shared apartment with his three best friends, all of it feels like a dream. A very bad dream that’s been so drawn out that once he finally wakes up, it’ll feel like he’s been asleep for three days instead of his usual couple of hours. It feels like he’s speaking to the air, that Even isn’t even here, that he can just wake up and everything will go back to normal.

And then he hears the slow intake of a breath from his right, and – right. Not a dream. Even’s still here, is really here, and Isak isn’t asleep.

“I wouldn’t let myself focus on it, back then, because I would’ve gone insane if I’d let myself worry about it, but –“ he exhales slowly, feels his chest hollow out, preparing to be filled with fresh air. “One day, either you were going to forget to look over your shoulder and tell me to come, or you were going to go somewhere I couldn’t follow.”

And, yes, some of the blame was on Isak, because they were two people in the relationship and they’d both fucked up in their own ways.

“I think that might’ve been why it was so easy for them to convince me to sign those papers without talking to you first, because it already felt like that had happened, that I’d gotten left behind.” Isak swallows. He can’t look at Even, not when he’s laying out his soul and heart bare for Even to look at. “And I think I didn’t want to show you how much you still meant to me when it clearly wasn’t reciprocated. I wanted to show you I could do things on my own as well, that I could amount to something, too.”

Getting into university wasn’t exactly on the same scale as becoming a world-famous director, but it had meant something to Isak – not at the time, but nothing had mattered to him back then – it means something to Isak. He’s proud of how far he’s come and he’s proud of studying a science course that he loves.

“I can do it,” Isak says, realizing the truth in the words. “I’ve been doing it. I can live without you.”

I just don’t want to.

“I never thought you couldn’t,” Even tells him softly. “You’re getting an actual degree.”

Isak laughs. It comes out a little wet. “I know.”

“I always thought you were brilliant, that you’d be able to do anything.”

For some reason, it hits him harder than he thought it would’ve. He doesn’t turn around to face Even, can’t stand the thought of Even knowing that his eyes are glossy and throat is thick.

“I thought the same of you,” he tells him instead. “I wanted you to go out there and do what you loved and have everyone see your movies.”

“I know,” Even says this time.

Isak almost smiles, except he really isn’t in the mood to smile. He really, really isn’t.

“And I did get to do that, thanks to you,” Even continues. “I see that now, what you did for me. But the cost –“ he trails off with a frustrated huff.

The cost. That Isak had technically been the one to leave Even in the way it really mattered, even if it hadn’t been of his own doing. It’s such a weird thought, because Isak has spent literal years thinking that Even was the one who left him behind for good.

“I was so angry with you.”

Isak throws the pencil onto the desk. It bounces twice before it rolls off and lands on the floor. He keeps his back to Even.

“So fucking angry with you,” he grouses. “Whenever we talked about the universes where we didn’t work out, it was always me who left. But then you left me, and you didn’t even have the gall to show up yourself to tell me, or call me, or fucking send a text.”

His hands are shaking, continues to do so even after he unclenches them, lays them palm flat on the desk.

“I kept going over it,” Isak’s breath hitches as he holds a sob inside. “Over and over, again and again. I just wanted to find the moment when you stopped loving me.”

“Isak –“ Even’s crying. Isak made Even cry.

“It just seemed so sudden, that you’d send you lawyers over with divorce papers. I just kept thinking I must’ve missed the moment when you stopped loving me. I just wanted to find out what I did to make you stop loving me.”

“I promise I didn’t want it,” Even says, throat sounding thick and like he’s actually in pain. “I would’ve told you if I did, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He can’t not look at him anymore.

Isak twists his body at his hips, just enough that he can look over his shoulder at Even.

Even, who is standing in his room, looking devastatingly beautiful and with slightly wet-looking cheeks. He isn’t crying anymore, at least. Isak doesn’t know how he would’ve been able to handle that.

“Looking back, I probably should’ve realized that something was off about how much effort they were putting into convincing me that signing was the best course of action. But they couldn’t dictate how I felt,” his expression settling into a firm grimace that Isak recognizes from years and years ago, when Even had still been angry about the diagnosis and resentful of how it had made people start to treat him like a porcelain doll.

Only you can feel what you’re feeling, Isak remembers telling him.

“Then why did you never come out?” Isak’s voice cracks over the words.

Even shakes his head and shrugs helplessly. “I thought about it,” he finally tells him. “I did,” he insists, when Isak huffs in annoyance at the lack of an answer, “it just – it didn’t seem worth it to me.”

Even looks at where Isak’s curtains are still drawn, despite it being in the middle of the afternoon and the sun is shining in, trying to pass the fabric blocking its way.

“There wasn’t anyone to come out for,” Even shrugs again and Isak’s heart lurches. He hadn’t been there. “It just didn’t seem worth it. Maybe I would’ve done it eventually, if I met someone or I just didn’t want it to be a secret anymore,“ Even leaves it hanging in the air.

Isak flushes. “What about Sonja?”

Even’s nose wrinkles. “Sonja? Seriøst?”

“Well, what the hell do I know?” Isak asks, tone rising defensively as he draws back. His cheeks are burning. “Maybe – I’m not exactly in a position to fault you for finding someone else, am I?”

He means it rhetorically, but the way Even’s expression falls says something all by itself.

“Sonja and I were never a thing,” Even tells him instead, words stilted and said through gritted teeth. “It was all just bullshit for the rumor mill. That and a way for them to have a babysitter following me around, making sure I didn’t get myself into trouble.”

‘Trouble’ could mean a lot of things. The look Even gives him reveals that it wasn’t necessarily just to ensure he didn’t get near any other boys when they’d actually finagled getting him away from Isak.

As if Hollywood being homophobic wasn’t bad enough.

Maybe it reveals too much, because Even turns his back on him after that, staring at Isak’s curtains once again.

“I’m sorry,” Isak tells him, knowing it doesn’t help, but he doesn’t know what can. Other than a time machine, but Isak doubts that wouldn’t create new problems all on its own.

Even shakes his head. “It wasn’t your fault.” It doesn’t feel like he’s only talking about Isak hurting because of the way they’d hurt Even. It feels like a lot more, and Isak’s heart drops into his stomach. He’s not even sure if it’s from guilt or relief.

“It wasn’t yours either.”

It feels good to say. It feels really good to say. It feels good to hear and it feels good to say. Especially when it’s been years since Isak hasn’t been angry with at least one of the two people in this room, it feels good to let some of it go.

It leaves Isak’s guards down, the ones he’s spent his entire life building, the ones he’d never really been all that great at keeping up when he was around Even.

“I didn’t sign them.”

Isak stops mid-motion, head snapping to the right to look at Even who still hasn’t moved so he can only see the back of him. “What?”

“I wasn’t going to sign them without talking to you first. I kept trying to book a plane ticket home, over and over, none of them went through.” Even shakes his head minutely. “I wasn’t going to let you go without talking to you first, no matter what they kept trying to tell me.”

Something whooshes out of Isak – relief? Tension definitely settles in, because Isak has gone ages thinking he’s been divorced when the truth is, he’s still married to this day. Has been all of this time.

God, he’s married.

And then the guilt settles in tenfold, because that’s what Isak had done. Isak had let them talk him into signing those goddamn papers, all because they’d played on the fears he’d thought he’d hidden away deep inside of himself.

“I didn’t understand,” Even’s voice is thick. “But then when I thought back, I couldn’t remember the last time we spoke. Like –“ he shakes his head, squeezes his eyes shut. “Like, actually talked. I couldn’t remember the last time you told me something about your day, about what you were doing.”

Because Even had been out, living it up with Hollywood stars and his dream job, and Isak had been stuck back in same old Oslo.

“It just – it didn’t seem important,” Isak shrugs. “Compared to what you were doing, I was just… doing the same old shit as always. I just kept thinking that you’d be home in a couple of weeks and then I’d tell you everything you’d missed, but then…”

But then you never came home.

“But it was also, like,” Even makes a frustrated noise as he tries to articulate himself. “I didn’t even know that you’d applied to university. I didn’t even remember that that was a thing that was supposed to happen. I’d just gotten so caught up in my own shit that I forgot to talk to you about those things, and I just thought, well, shit, no wonder he’s gotten tired of you.”

Isak’s heart hurts. He’s tired of hurting, and he’s even more tired of hurting unnecessarily – not that Even getting to where he is today wasn’t worth any amount of pain Isak has had to go through. And it’s not like this is going to be the last of it – this is just the start of a new kind of pain, one that Isak is going to have to live with for the rest of his life once Even has left.

“By the time I was finally back in Oslo, the apartment was empty, and you still weren’t answering my calls. I didn’t know where you were – I was so desperate. I nearly showed up knocking on Eskild’s door frantically to find out where you were.” Even finally turns back around so Isak can look at him. “I couldn’t do that to you, though. I wanted to, so badly, and I hated myself for not doing it, but I would’ve been disgusted with myself if I had done it, if I had taken that away from you.”

“He wouldn’t have been able to help you, anyway,” Isak says so he won’t think about how big a sacrifice that had really been for Even to make. He won’t be able to keep from crying if he starts to think about it.

Even makes an inquisitive noise.

“I, uh –“ Isak hesitates. “I couldn’t exactly – he would’ve known that something was wrong, and I couldn’t exactly explain what it was.” He shrugs, doesn’t mention if it was because of his own choice or because of the metaphorical gag he’d been bound with. “So I just – I didn’t really talk to him all that much.” Barely anything at all, as little as he could get away with – or even less than that, really, considering it was Eskild they were talking about.

“See, that –“ Even takes a step towards him, “– that is exactly what was wrong, why we were doomed from the start.”

Isak can’t tell if his heart is in his throat or has dropped to his stomach. A cold sweat breaks out down his back, and he almost feels petrified at the thought of Even thinking that about them. Doomed.

“Because I didn’t talk to Eskild?”

“Because all we ever did was keep secrets,” Even corrects, eyes a little watery. “And it meant you couldn’t talk to anyone, that you couldn’t get help when you needed it.”

“You couldn’t either,” Isak reminds him, because it wasn’t only him who hadn’t wanted to say anything. “You couldn’t tell anyone either.”

“Keeping secrets did nothing good for us,” Even frowns, and Isak hates it because the shadows are safe, lying has been safe, but he agrees with Even. “It just made us so insecure about ourselves and each other.”

“Are you going to ask me for a divorce after this?” Isak asks. He doesn’t like how tiny his voice is, but he doesn’t have the strength to change it. “A real one this time?”

Even’s eyes go impossibly soft. He looks sad. “No. I’m not going to do that. I don’t want to do that.”

Isak swallows past the lump in his throat. “We haven’t seen each other in two years. You can’t not want a divorce.”

“I don’t want a divorce. I never did.”

“How can you not, though?”

“I just don’t. Isak – I broke into the Botanical Garden just to impress you,” Even reminds him. Isak’s laugh bubbles out of him, wet and a bit disgusting because he’s crying. He doesn’t remember starting to cry. “I don’t want a divorce.”

“You’ve done fine without me,” Isak points out. “And I’ve managed alright as well.”

“I know,” Even agrees. “That’s not why I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want a divorce because you make my life better, and you make me want to be good, and I want to do that for you too. If you’ll let me.”

The tips of Even’s toes bump against Isak’s. He doesn’t remember moving or Even moving, but he figures they’ll always be gravitating towards each other.

Even’s gaze is heavy on him, and it makes Isak feel flushed and not wanting to look Even in the eye, but finding himself unable to look away either. A hiccupy-sob spills out of his mouth.

Even cups Isak’s face in one hand, sweeping his thumb gently over his cheekbone, wiping away a tear. “You beautiful, brave boy. I can’t believe there was ever a second where you doubted you weren’t wanted, that I wouldn’t choose you.”

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t choose you,” Isak told him, leaning into his touch, and making a desperate, choked-up noise. “Faen, Even, I was practically hanging on to your sleeve every turn you made. So in love, I’m so in –“ he cuts himself off.

“Do you still –“ Even bites down on his bottom lip to keep it from wobbling, a pure look of anguish and pain on his face as he carefully glances at Isak.

I am so in love with you, Isak wants to scream. Always, always, always love you. “Never stopped,” he promises instead, takes a step closer to Even and waits for him to do the same, until the tips of their toes bump together and Isak’s right knee brushes Even’s.

He sees the second the rest of Even’s guards crumble down, leaves him vulnerable and with the same affection and hurt that Isak is sure he’s wearing on his face shining out of his eyes.

“Did –“ Isak has to wet his lips and clear his throat when you voice cracks. “Did you –?”

Did you stop? Did you stop loving me? Did you fall out of love with me?

Isak can’t breathe. He’s just standing there, holding his breath, waiting for Even to say something, as if he’s about to cast the verdict of Isak’s sentence.

Even shakes his head, his bottom lip is quivering. All of the air inside of Isak whooshes out, his next inhale goes smoothly. For the first time in so, so long, breathing doesn’t feel like an impossible chore.

“If I asked you –” Even pauses, licking his lips. “Would you want – can we – is it even a possibility – please –“

Nothing that Even is saying is coming out cohesively, so Isak gathers all of his courage and closes the gap between them, his nose pressing against Even’s cheek, his jaw, until he feels Even let out a relieved breath and attempt one more time.

“Would it be too much if I asked you,” he starts, his voice shaking, “if you would like to try again? With me? What would you say?”

Isak presses his nose a little harder against Even’s jaw before he pulls back, just far enough that he can look Even in the eye.

“Ask me,” he demands.

“Isak,” Even sounds like he’s lost his breath, so Isak presses his face against the palm Even’s still holding against his cheek. “Please. Can we try again? With no secrets this time and never no talking to each other. Just – Isak –“

Isak’s nodding frantically. It makes him realize he’s crying, because he feels the wetness against Even’s hand when it moves from the top of his cheekbone down next to his mouth.

Even is so close Isak can feel his breath hitting his lips, can feel just the tiniest touch of Even’s lips near his own. They’re not kissing, they’re not, but even just this, this closeness is enough to make Isak’s toes curl in the best of ways.

“We’ll do it right this time,” Even whispers into his mouth. A tear rolls down Isak’s face. “Come out. Or – we’re pretty much already out. But tell people ourselves. Not just let them know from a stupid article.”

Isak nods, the movement dislodges his mouth from Even’s, but they’re both breathing too harshly to comment on it. “We’re going to do it right,” he agrees.

 Past

Even’s first movie gets released around Christmas time for no other reason than it’s a romantic movie. It’s late November, cold as fuck and Isak seems to be sniffling himself through one cold into the next whilst Even gets the wide release he’d always dreamt about.

Isak promises himself that he won’t buy a ticket to go see it. He refuses to spend any more money on Even and his stupid, stupid movies.

He does, however, end up illegally streaming it that night instead. The quality is horrible and several times he can’t make out the dialogue or the screen, but it doesn’t really matter because he recognizes the plot.

Or, what was supposed to be the plot, because Isak remembers Even writing this movie.

He remembers long summer nights where he’d dose off and come back to Even sitting beside him in bed, laptop open and fingers scrambling over the keys before he lost his inspiration or forgot the perfect lines and directions he’d made up in his head. He remembers watching Even; how happy he’d been watching his story come together and Isak loved hearing about the next part Even had come up with, even if it was difficult to keep track of, because Even never thought in linear patterns. Most of the time Isak would know the ending before the beginning.

Once Even was done, though, he’d tell Isak the story chronologically. He’d pull Isak in close to his side and he’d talk and talk, treating the ceiling like his canvas, painting out a story for no one but Isak, lying safe and warm and happy in his arms. And Isak would listen, and then he’d listen some more, because he loves – loved, Even like this, in his element.

Isak remembers the movie was supposed to be about two girls, but it’s clear it’s now about a boy and a girl, and it’s not like Isak’s angry about movies portraying heterosexual couples, but Even had had entire themes and scenes and messages he’d wanted to send with two girls and all Isak sees are the things the movie lacks rather than what it does manage to do.

He watches the entire movie and then digs out the emergency bottle of vodka he hides in his sock drawer.

Most of it is gone by morning.

OOOOO

Another thing about remembering things like that is that Isak remembers the final ending ‘Save You Right Back’ was supposed to have – the last thing the movie would show, right at the end of the credits where no one would think to look.

Takk, Isak.

That’s it. Two words. Even had spoken for ages about those two words, no matter how many times Isak told him that it wasn’t necessary, Even had insisted. Because he wouldn’t be in America living his dream if it weren’t for Isak convincing him to go. He wouldn’t have written the movie if he hadn’t had Isak there to rant and rave to, to encourage him to keep writing when nothing came to mind, and to be his muse that would keep him going for hours upon hours.

Now Isak knows that Even wouldn’t have hesitated in the first place to go to America if Isak hadn’t been a part of his life. He knows that Even would’ve kept closer to his friends if he hadn’t had Isak – all of the boys, probably especially Yousef, would’ve been encouraging. And the movie would’ve been written, with or without Isak there to inspire Even – something else would’ve done the job; a song, a stray thought, another person Even would’ve actually stayed with.

The two words aren’t there when Isak checks three days later.

Just another thing that got cut, Isak thinks bitterly, slamming his laptop shut.

OOOOO

Something Isak hadn’t planned on was other people also watching Even’s movie.

Which is silly, really, and it makes Isak feel like an idiot, because Even had literally traded him for the chance of having people see this movie.

But Even had spent nearly a year just writing the script and the directions and camera angles when the entire project had been nothing but a fantasy for the future, not something they’d believed would come to life any time soon. And Isak had just gotten used to ‘Save You Right Back’ was a movie only he and Even knew about.

Something Isak had planned on was other people loving Even’s movie.

Isak is furious with Even, yes, and so fucking resentful and angry, but there’s no doubting that Even is brilliant at what he does – he always had been. And although Isak knows the real story behind the movie, it’s not like the finished project – altered as it is from the original storyline Even had told Isak about – is a bad movie. Anyone who doesn’t know what it was supposed to be like wouldn’t know any better, wouldn’t stumble over the thought in the slightest.

So the fact that critics like the movie? That the public does as well? That Even’s movie actually trends and then Even starts to trend? Not exactly a surprise to Isak.

Something Isak definitely hadn’t planned on was Magnus being one of those people who are practically obsessed with Even’s movie.

Which turns into an obsession with Even.

There isn’t a lot of Even’s work out there on the internet – mainly because ‘Save You Right Back’ is his first actually contracted work, but there’s a rather limited amount anything self-produced or from his time at film school out there, easily accessible for people to watch.

And thus, when there’s nothing else for people to focus on, they start to look at Even.

It’s not like Isak doesn’t know Even, knows the effect he has on people. Even is brilliant and he’s captivating and he’s charming and he’s just about every other description for the feeling of being drawn into somebody’s orbit.

Isak’s angry with him, but he can’t exactly deny these things about him. Not when he firsthand knows just how true they really are.

But it’s still something else when other people start to report on how Even is like. When small tidbits about him start to get published – either by fans who’ve met him or by the odd journalist writing an article about the up-and-coming director in the business – it feels like a piece of Isak’s soul leaves his body and he’s not sure why.

So he stops looking up Even on the internet. Period.

Except Magnus then apparently elects himself to function as a newsmonger so none of them miss out on anything Even-related.

“Did you know they’ve signed Even on to do another project?”

Good, wouldn’t want their fucking divorce to be wasted, would they?

“Did you know he’s due to release a short film in January?”

Hopefully he works himself to the bone.

“The symbolism with the blue tie was so well planned out! That was apparently one of the first things he came up with when he started writing the story.”

The symbolism had actually made sense when the movie had been about two girls. Don’t think about how Even came up with it – don’t think about stupid poems and love declarations.

“Seriously, people have said it’s like he just comes up with it on the spot – how amazing is that?”

He never was much of a planner.

For every little piece of information Magnus tries to share with literally anyone who will listen, Isak feels the anger growing inside of him. Knows how much he has to drink to get it down to a manageable level again, and then promptly forgets because of just how much alcohol it takes to get him to that level.

This is what Even wanted, he reminds himself. He wanted his movies and fans and articles written about him. He didn’t want you.

Isak’s always careful not to look up Even too much. It always sends him spiraling, and he always ends up the same place; in a bar, in a club or at the bottom of a bottle. Usually whatever has the highest alcohol percentage he can get his hands on, but he isn’t picky so long as it’ll get him drunk and get him there fast.

So it’s an accident when he sees the first picture of Even and Sonja.

At least he didn’t find out through Magnus, he tries to comfort himself as he lies in bed, staring at the screen of his phone. The brightness is turned up too high for the time of the day and the darkness in the rest of his room, but Isak feels positively frozen in place.

They’re official pictures, taken at some premier – Isak doesn’t think it’s Even’s own, because the fanfare that’s happening seems too excessive a reception for a first-time director who’d managed to gather a small internet following.

And then more pictures keep popping up.

Sonja and Even at a coffee shop.

Sonja and Even walking down Hollywood Boulevard.

Sonja and Even, Sonja and Even, until Isak is ready to rip his own hair out by the roots.

It doesn’t necessarily mean anything, Isak reminds himself. He knows Even’s management team had already been talking about this when he and Even had still been okay – or when Isak had thought that they were still okay, but what the fuck does he know, really – the publicity Even could get from hanging out with the right person at the right time.

But this isn’t a celebrity. Sonja doesn’t have anything she needs to promote, so Isak can’t think of any agreements that would be mutually beneficial for her and Even.

And it only gets worse when Isak’s fears get picked up on by strangers on the internet. Suddenly #Evnja starts trending, and then the articles start popping up with additional pictures.

Sonja and Even cozying up on their date! Even brings Sonja with him to a premier! Sonja and Even walking a dog! Are they, aren’t they, surely they must be!

And then Isak gets to hear it all over again from Magnus who seemingly can’t shut up about anything Even, which now apparently means Sonja and Even, and Isak –

Isak doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He’s angry, he’s so fucking angry he’s buzzing with it – angry because Even asked him for a divorce just to immediately go flaunt some girl on his arm. Angry because Even is alright, is moving on, and Isak feels so fucking stuck in this sickening despair and shame and rage and completely unable to let go of the past, any of it.

No more, he decides, shutting his phone off and leaving it behind. He’s got a stash of tiny bottles hidden underneath his bed that he brings out, downing three in a row before he has to pause for a breath.

“Isak!” Magnus calls out when Isak leaves his room, jacket already haphazardly pulled on and heading towards the front door. “My man! Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Awesome!” Magnus lights up. “Got anything in mind? We were just about to come get you to see if you wanted to head over to –“

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Isak interrupts. He can’t stand still, too buzzed and body vibrating from too many emotions all mixed together, and Magnus just isn’t talking fast enough for Isak.

Even the blinking that he does at being interrupted is too slow-going for Isak. So he toes on his shoes and shouts for the boys to hurry the fuck up!

He takes two trips up and down the stairs before Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus are ready. Mahdi looks peeved, but he doesn’t say anything to Isak about it, so Isak treads ahead to get the boys to move quicker.

Maybe tagging along had been a bad idea, he thinks when Magnus yet again has to stop in the middle of the street to talk about something of great importance that really doesn’t matter.

Turns out tagging along is a great idea when Isak realizes they’re headed to a club only known by word around town. Magnus knows a guy who works there, apparently, and could get them in tonight.

Isak isn’t particularly interested in the club itself; it’s much like any other club; dark and with the occasional strobe lights, loud music and sweaty crowd of people – as much as he cares about the possibilities in this club.

As it currently stands, there are a lot of possibilities in this club.

It’s dark, so finding a hidden corner will be easy, and it also means it’ll be more difficult for people to recognize him. Isak hasn’t exactly made up his mind whether he wants to try getting with a girl or a boy – he can’t imagine enjoying anything with a girl, and the enjoyment is part of this entire thing. There’s no point in showing Even that he too can go out and have fun if he isn’t really having fun, after all.

He figures he’ll probably just see how the evening goes. Having the boys here could complicate things, because no way in hell is Isak letting any of them even suspect that something is amiss with him, but with their previous track record of disappearing to find hookup partners once they’ve gotten a few drinks in, Isak isn’t too worried.

He can’t breathe and he can’t get his hands to stop shaking, but he’s not too worried.

“Hey!” Magnus shouts in his ear to get his attention. “What do you want?” he nods towards the bar.

“I’ll come with you,” Isak tells him, because the sooner he gets away from the boys, the better, and he also needs to get a vantage point to see who is here tonight.

The bar is bustling, and it takes ages before he and Magnus get close enough to order, and then approximately another decade before the bartender notices them. Isak orders two drinks at once, because if it’s this difficult to get one, he probably won’t be able to refill until later. That, and he fucking needs it right now.

It makes Magnus frown, though. “You alright?”

“I’m fucking great,” Isak tells him, trying to smile, but he thinks he just pulls a grimace instead. Whatever.

Magnus’ frown deepens, however, so Isak hurries to back away from the bar, pushing against the stream of people trying to get close, and leaves Magnus to scramble with three drinks.

He knocks back the first drink, leaves the glass on behind on some decorative pedestal that other people have also deemed worthy for the same purpose.

“Starting without us?” Jonas laughs, popping out of nowhere.

Mahdi’s looking at him cautiously, not saying anything, and Isak can’t stand the sight of it so he knocks the other drink back as well.

“Catch up, slowpoke,” he grins to Jonas, clapping him on the shoulder before drawing back so Jonas can grab his drink off of Magnus. He hopes he doesn’t look as fake as he feels.

“Not like you to give us the chance,” Mahdi comments, but he throws back his own drink as well, so what room does he have to talk.

Isak’s nose wrinkles in disdain, but he doesn’t reply. He kind of considers making his way back to the bar already – it’ll be hell, but the fire in his throat is already burning out and he still feels too stuck in his head for him to be able to accomplish his mission for the night.

He feels antsy, and he has a lot of residual anger still swirling around in his body that he’s forcing himself not to think about.

“You sure you’re alright?” Jonas asks him, and Isak wants to scream.

“Lot of homework,” he says instead, because he’s sick and tired of being asked if he’s okay when he’s clearly fine, but they won’t stop unless he gives them an explanation.

Isak pointedly does not think about how goddamn unable he is to give the real explanation.

He ignores Mahdi’s bemused huff.

Anyway, it doesn’t take a lot before the boys’ attentions are off him and on literally anything else. Isak counts his blessings, however small they may come, and gets to crowd surfing as well – doesn’t matter that he’s looking for something else than Mahdi and Magnus are, and technically Jonas as well, but his is more of a ‘look, don’t touch’ situation, considering he’s got Eva, and all that.

Nothing strikes his fancy particularly, but he tries not to feel too discouraged. It’s dark and it’s difficult to make out anyone in this thick of a crowd. It doesn’t mean that there’s no one there for Isak, no one he’ll be interested in.

Once they’re all dispersed, Isak heads back to the bar. Doesn’t spend as long waiting this time, which is a surprise. He orders three drinks this time.

“Coming right up,” the bartender tells him.

“I’ll have one of those, too,” someone from behind Isak says – a guy, voice so deep and so close that for a second all Isak can think is Even, and he whirls around and –

Except it’s not Even. It’s some other guy who gives Isak a weird look for his sudden movement.

A guy who doesn’t even look anything like Even, resembles Magnus a lot more, if Isak’s honest – the typical, Norwegian stereotype of blond hair and height. He’s taller than Isak is.

He looks at Isak oddly for how startled he was. Isak hurries to turn back around, cheeks burning.

There are three glasses waiting for him when he opens his eyes again. He downs the shot whilst still at the bar, slamming the glass down on the counter, and then gathers the two other glasses.

He’s starting to feel the effects a little better now, his head not quite swimming yet, but it’s easier not to think, and it’s easier to ignore how it feels like his heart is stuck inside a cage yet falling apart right then and there.

He just needs a distraction. He needs to do this.

Isak sips at his fourth drink at this club, whatever number this night in total, and scans the crowd. It hasn’t gotten easier to see in the past ten minutes, and Isak figures it’ll only get worse the later it gets.

A girl saunters up to him, grabbing onto where his hoodie is zipped open, and tries to tug him towards the dance floor.

She’s pretty, and if any of the boys had been within eyesight, Isak would’ve followed her. They aren’t, though, and Isak isn’t here for them, and he isn’t here for her. He holds up the two drinks instead, makes it seem like he’s heading over to someone with the other one. The girl shrugs, but she looks disappointed as she walks away. Isak can’t even feel any comfort in the reassurance that he isn’t totally unwanted by everyone around him.

It would be easier, he thinks, if he could just make himself want her, if he could just make himself not want guys.

He moves to a different part of the club just in case the girl decides to double back and he’s still standing there, clearly not heading anywhere, just uninterested. He makes sure to keep an eye out for any familiar faces – no point doing this if it just means people will live to remind him of it, that they’ll know. Isak can’t, he can’t have anyone know.

It’s bad enough that after tonight, someone will know, because Isak will have kissed someone, someone who isn’t Even. Which will be fucking great and exactly what Isak needs. He just needs to find someone and everything will be perfect.

He discards the second glass once he’s drained it, still has one remaining. His heart is thumping uncomfortably in his chest as he tries to pace himself. It’s not easy. None of this is easy, and Isak hates it because it should be.

“Hey,” someone, the guy from the bar, Isak realizes. “Nice night,” the guy comments, taking a sip from his own drink.

Isak’s heart is still beating a little too fast from the scare, but he’s downed too many drinks to really feel it. “Is it?”

The guy blinks at Isak’s odd reply, then shrugs and accepts it. “Guess it depends on a lot of things. Do you want me to make it better?”

Yes, Isak thinks, because it would be so much easier to just lay himself into the hands of another person and then let them fix everything. He can’t do that, though, but he can do this. He can show Even that two can play this game.

“Guess it depends on a lot of things,” Isak teases smoothly, feeling anything but. His palms are sweaty. “What are you offering?”

He grins and tugs at Isak’s hoodie, just like the girl had earlier, but instead of pulling him towards the crowd, the guy moves them away, moves them closer to the dark corners which stills Isak’s panic a bit, at least.

The guy leaves his drink behind once they get closer to the wall, which is such a stupid move, Isak can’t believe he’s probably about to kiss someone that stupid. Isak makes sure to down his own drink before he leaves the glass behind.

The guy quirks an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything about it, just keeps pushing and pushing until Isak feels the wall bump against his back.

He hates this. He doesn’t like it at all, he finds, but he forces through it. He just needs to try it, then he’ll find out how great it is – Isak likes kissing, he knows that much at least, so this shouldn’t be any different from everything he’s already done. He’s not a goddamn virgin, he isn’t inexperienced. There’s nothing new about this. There isn’t.

Isak twists until his side is pressed against the wall instead of his back. It means the guy has to switch too, but he also doesn’t say anything about that, doesn’t pull a face, either. He just leans against the wall as well, mirroring Isak’s position.

Isak lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

The guy pushes at his hip to get his attention back on him. “You want to head to the bathroom?”

Isak frowns. No, no he does not want to go to the bathroom. For any reason.

The guy must be able to see it on his face despite the crappy lighting. He laughs, doesn’t look mean about it. “You ever done this before?”

Which part? Isak doesn’t ask. The part where he’s kissing guys, or the part where they’re in public, or the part about being offered casual sex by a stranger? It’s pretty much no to all of them, anyway.

Fuck.

Isak isn’t about to let this stranger know anything about that, though. Can’t exactly tell him about all the things that he’s done already, either, so he raises an eyebrow and asks, “Have you?”

Which is stupid, because this guy clearly does this often. His hands are cold through the fabric of Isak’s t-shirt whilst Isak feels like an actual mess.

Stop this! You’re married! his heart screams at him.

You’re not, his brain reminds him. You’re not, you’re not, you’re not.

Isak isn’t. He isn’t fucking married anymore, and if Even can go out there and kiss other people, can kiss Sonja, then so can Isak. Kiss other people, that is. He can kiss this guy all he fucking wants to – he just has to ignore how he doesn’t fucking want to kiss anyone.

The bass is so fucking loud, the constant dun dun dun pounding in Isak’s head. He feels dizzy and he feels wrong and he can’t breathe, he can’t fucking breathe.

The guy’s cologne is all wrong – it’s too strong and smells too much like chemicals. His body is too close, Isak feels cramped up against the wall unpleasantly.

Isak sidesteps when the guy reaches out for his collar, barely registers anything that he’s doing, just knows that he needs to get away, get away, get away.

“What the fuck –“ he thinks he hears from behind, but Isak doesn’t turn around to check, to apologize, to explain. He pushes forward, tries to get through the crowd.

God, he’s sweating and the feeling of bodies pressing against him is nauseating – he feels crowded, feels simultaneously too small for the world but too large for his body, it feels like his skin is about to peel off.

“Isak?” he hears when he’s grabbing his jacket, pulling it on.

Fuck, the boys. He doesn’t bother checking who’s talking to him, but they’re all there, he can see them.

“Hva skjer?”

“I’m leaving,” he replies, not sure to who, just pushing away from the door to get out.

“Hey, man,” Jonas tries to catch a hold of Isak’s elbow, but he misses, “you alright?”

“Just let him go,” Mahdi grabs on to Jonas’ sleeve and holds him back. “He needs to go do homework.”

Isak doesn’t know how it happens, can’t recall it later. All he knows is the anger inside of him, rising until it’s blowing over, and suddenly he’s next to the boys again, but Mahdi’s back is flushed to the wall and he’s looking a mix of confused and furious. Then there are hands tugging at Isak’s jacket, pulling him back.

“What the fuck?” he thinks he hears Jonas yells. It snaps him out of whatever weird fugue-state he’d slipped into.

He stares at Jonas, eyes wide and startled. Did he really just…

“What’s going on with you?” Jonas’ eyes are wild. He’s looking at Isak like he’s stranger.

And all Isak can think about is how he nearly kissed someone tonight. Someone who wasn’t Even, just because Even is fine and out kissing other people. He can’t even think about how he just pushed Mahdi – Mahdi. He can’t think about anything.

Fuck. Isak doesn’t even recognize himself anymore.

“What the fuck just happened?” Magnus asks.

“I was just kidding,” Mahdi protests, but Isak barely hears it, is already moving, throwing himself bodily at the doors to get out, get out, get out. “What the fuck is his problem?”

He doesn’t get further than fifty feet away from the club before he stumbles. He feels startlingly sober, but he knows he isn’t. He’s drunk, he’s fucking drunk again, and the world is spinning and he feels nauseous, like he’s going to be sick, because he never learns to not drink on an empty stomach.

OOOOO

“How’d I get here?” Isak slurs. His eyes are crusty and it hurts to open them. Everything about him feels like that, like he’s too heavy to maneuver around. “I was out.”

“Yeah,” Jonas laughs humorlessly. “And then I brought you home.”

Isak groans. “Why’d you do that? I was having fun,” he drags out the vowel, tries to shake his body to imitate a dance move he can’t remember if he was doing last night, but that just makes him dizzy and feeling like he’s about to throw up.

Jonas snorts. “Sure, yeah.”

Blinking hurts. Swallowing hurts. Existing hurts, but that’s nothing new.

Then again, this is probably a repeated enough occurrence that none of this is particularly new.

Isak groans again and shoves his face into his pillow.

He can’t really remember a lot from last night, thinks he went out, but he doesn’t remember where to or with who. He probably went alone – after that disastrous night out where he’d tried to – where he’d ended up getting violent and pushing Mahdi, he’s made it a point to avoid everyone around him as much as possible.

Isak isn’t sure if it’s a good thing or not just how easy it is to pull off something like that. Good thing, probably, he realizes. Less people around to ask questions.

Which means Isak isn’t sure why Jonas is in his room. He doesn’t remember meeting up with Jonas, which would’ve happened if Jonas was the one to get him back safely.

“Isak.”

Isak doesn’t react to Jonas’ attempts to get his attention. Not until a hand grabs onto a chunk of his hair and gently pushes his face away from the pillow.

The light hurts his eyes and it isn’t any easier to breathe when his nose isn’t being squashed.

“Isak,” Jonas doesn’t let him look away. “Are you okay?”

“’f course,” Isak sniffs, tries to focus on anything besides Jonas. “The hell do you mean?”

Jonas huffs, steps back from the bed. Isak doesn’t even remember to shove his face back into the pillow, he feels frozen.

“This isn’t normal. You drinking like that, it’s not – I don’t think you’re okay.”

Isak’s throat feels tight.

“It’s just uni,” he protests. “We’re young and stupid and partying and getting drunk. That’s all it is. All of you are doing it too!”

Jonas’ eyes are soft and gentle and Isak doesn’t deserve him, doesn’t know what to do with any of that other than panic.

“Not like you are,” Jonas states, because it’s not an argument, it’s a fact. No one else is going as hard at it as Isak is. “What you’re doing – Christ, man, you’re going to put yourself in an early grave.”

Good, a spiteful part of Isak thinks, the one he doesn’t ever let out because it frightens him too much.

“Just – you can talk to me, if there is something, you know that, right? You can come talk to me.”

Isak pointedly does not think of stacks of papers and horrible, horrible words written on them along with his signature, ensuring that talking is one of the last things he’ll do. He doesn’t. He’ll be sick if he does, and if he remembers anything from last night it’s that he’s already been sick more than enough. He’ll need to get some fluids in his system unless he really does want to put himself in an early grave.

He doesn’t think of how Even would’ve loved this as a reasoning why his ‘epic endings’ were so necessary – that you should get to lose something whilst it was still good, before it had gotten ruined by life.

He doesn’t think of Even kissing Sonja, even if there aren’t any pictures of it yet he can still imagine it clearly. He doesn’t think of how he wasn’t able to kiss anyone. He doesn’t think of changed plots and characters and a lack of a thank you note.

He’s just – he’s so fucking confused, alright.

OOOOO

He just gets even more confused when Even releases a short film called “The Boy who Couldn’t Jump Down from a Fence” because what? What kind of game is Even playing, what the fuck is this supposed to be, and why the fuck would he do it if he’s got Sonja now?

Isak’s fuming, doesn’t pay attention when he marches into the shared kitchen, doesn’t see Magnus sitting at the table, tapping away on his laptop. All Isak sees is the kitchen counter, the sink full of dishes, and the empty pizza box left by someone.

He throws open one of the cupboards, not even sure what he’s looking for – booze, his brain supplies unhelpfully because they don’t keep any alcohol in here, unless it needs to be refrigerated, but the others will have his ass for years to come if he messes with someone else’s alcohol. Which is dumb, because it’s not like any of them are still underage and getting their hands on anything alcoholic is a hassle.

Isak’s own supply has run dry, though, and he’s itching for something, anything. He needs to get out of his own head, and alcohol is the only way he’s found so far that’s made it a possibility.

“Isak, hey!” Magnus calls out brightly, dropping his backpack by his feet. Girl-with-bioscience-boyfriend will have his head for that, Isak knows, because she’d tried to have his when he’d done the same.

She hasn’t attempted it since, but Isak can’t imagine Magnus being as big of an asshole as Isak had been.

“Dude, greatest news ever, seriously,” Magnus doesn’t bother pausing for a breath. “So remember how I told you about my scene composition class? Well, so today –“

And Isak tunes out. He doesn’t remember Magnus telling him about that particular course, but that’s not the main reason why Isak stops listening.

Isak stops listening because Magnus is a media student who doesn’t know when to shut up.

Well, he doesn’t know when to shut up, period, but it becomes Isak’s problem when he changes between his two favorite topics; girls and movies, particularly the technicalities of movies.

Isak’s already had one person in his life who couldn’t shut up about the goddamn technicalities of movies, and Magnus isn’t like Even at all, it’s not that he reminds Isak of Even.

It’s that he’s constantly bringing up Even that’s becoming Isak’s problem.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he hears Magnus say his name out loud – nothing pretty, he knows that much, but he isn’t interested in finding out what. He feels too fucking numb all of the time, that or like a bruise that’s being cut into constantly, but after that night at the club where he’d snuck away from the boys, that night where he’d attacked Mahdi, Isak’s sort of been scared of himself. Of how far he’ll end up going before he can’t turn back anymore.

And then the numbness takes over and the cycle continues.

Isak isn’t numb right now. Right now there’s too much anger inside of him for him to be anything that resembles numb.

Magnus is still talking, and Isak is scared to start paying attention, just in case.

Isak does not want to hear about Even’s film, but he also doesn’t want to be alone. Not tonight. He doesn’t want to walk down the dark streets of Oslo, bar-crawling his way through the city until he can’t tell up from down all by himself.

“Is anything going on tonight?” he interrupts whatever Magnus had been talking about.

Magnus looks as clueless as ever – big puppy eyes as he frowns thoughtfully. He doesn’t even look offended that Isak had cut him off like what he was saying didn’t matter.

“Uh,” he draws out, chewing on his lip. “The union’s doing three drinks for the price of two until seven tonight?”

It’s just gone six and Isak knows he shouldn’t start drinking on an empty stomach. He knows, but he still slings his arm around Magnus’ shoulders and starts dragging him towards the front door.

“Mags, my man,” he tells him, grinning back when Magnus’ face lights up in the widest smile possible, “guess your plans for tonight just got a whole lot better.”

OOOOO

“The Boy who Couldn’t Jump Down from a Fence” isn’t a story about Isak.

Isak doesn’t know whether he feels relieved or not. He’s mainly just pissed off, because why the fuck would Even so blatantly name it that, only for it to be about a boy and a girl who don’t even fall in love because the boy is too afraid to jump down from the fence to meet the girl playing in her garden.

It’s not really a movie that makes sense, so of course it’s highly acclaimed for its artistic touch and how it successfully leaves the audience with a feeling of bittersweet melancholy at the thought of missed opportunities and wasted moments that could’ve made a difference.

Isak’s so fucking angry. He’s still angry when he sees the bottom of some bottle he probably shouldn’t have consumed the entirety of in one evening.

Next part

[youngjusticeslut]

Becoming Together

So everyone knows how much I love @tessaart​ right? No? Well, I’ll make it known. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for my artist made in heaven? Ya, that’s this beautiful soul. Just randomly surprises me w/cute art like this. And then this cute art... inspired a 6k one-shot. So, enjoy that fam. If you hate reading on Tumblr, which, mood, here is the AO3 link, and the FF.net link. Otherwise, please proceed below.

Star City July 16th 18:04 PST Team Year Eight

“I’m gonna do it.”

Jade looked up from where she’d been setting the table for dinner. Two months at the Star City house, and it still didn’t feel any less strange. Nevertheless, she persisted in her attempts of normalcy. Lian was ecstatic when Jade picked her up from daycare, or administered bathtime. Those were the easy feats. The harder ones lied in simplicity. On a grocery trip, Will ran into a former employee and introduced her as his wife. She disappeared for the remainder of the day, and they fought about it for a week.

Some days, Jade wondered if she made the right decision coming home.

Other days, she’d keep her breathing even and her eyes closed, savoring the sensation of Will moving some stray hair out of her face, or a kiss if he was feeling particularly risky. She’d laugh and dance along to a song on the radio, at Lian’s insisting. At least once a week, Will would put Lian to bed early, and then he’d give Jade anything she wanted until she could no longer breathe.

Choosing to stay wasn’t easy; but it had its merits.

“Do what?” Jade asked, filling Lian’s sippy cup with more water than juice. She’d once laughed at Will for doing so and called him a stick in the mud. Funny how things changed.

Will turned the gas off and slid the pot to a cold burner, opening up the leftmost cupboard to grab three plates. “Shave. I think I’m done with the beard.”

She scoffed. “You said that last week.”

“I mean it now.” Will spooned a generous amount of risotto onto the first plate before holding it out to Jade.

“Mhm.” She took the plate and the one that followed, setting them on the table. “Did you dress the salad?”

Will frowned, clutching the bowl of greens tight in his palms. “You don’t believe me.”

“Not particularly. You like the beard.”

“I’m tired of it. It’s time to shave.”

“Then you would have, already.” Jade took the salad bowl from him, placing it in the center of the kitchen table. Then she paused, raising a brow as she glanced at her husband. “This isn’t about the other night, is it?”

“There are a lot of nights, Jade. Three hundred and sixty five of them in a year, actually. So you’ll need to be more specific.”

She smirked. “Look who’s grown a sense of humor. It’s cute, Red.”

Not too long ago, Will might have scowled. Today, he grinned. “I try.” He covered the pot with its lid before wiping his hands on his jeans. “Seriously though, what night?”

“Think about it.”

The night in question took place in the previous week, in which Lian fell asleep early. Will had started kissing her neck, and within minutes their clothes were on the kitchen floor. Things had been going splendidly until they weren’t. Jade liked it rough, she would be the first to admit that. She just didn’t exactly care to be rubbed raw by a beard.

Will came to the realization after a few moments, a blush tinting his cheeks once he did. “That night?”

“No, the night we ate canned ravioli for dinner, which was disgusting, by the way,” Jade sneered. “I can’t believe you feed our daughter food from a can.”

“Only on emergency nights where we--wait, don’t change the subject. My desire to shave has nothing to do with that night.”

“So, we’re not going to talk about the canned ravioli?”

“Jade,” Will sighed, already exasperated. “You don’t like the beard. Why are you arguing about this? I thought this was what you wanted.”

That much was true. Not that Jade would never admit it, for it wasn’t her place. So long as he was happy, she couldn’t care less what he looked like. If you asked her what she preferred though, then it was no beard all the way. She grinned, grasping his jaw in between her nimble fingers. “Didn’t know you cared so much about what I thought.”

He shrugged, trying hard to keep his blush from spreading. “I don’t.”

This was one of those opportune times that Jade would egg him on, goading him to the point of utter frustration. Lucky for him, Lian entered the kitchen before Jade could add anything else. Their toddler crossed her arms, wearing a large pout. “I’m hungry,” she whined.

“Good, because dinner’s ready. Did you wash your hands?”

Lian’s pout only deepened. “No.”

Jade scooped her daughter up, carrying her to the kitchen sink. “Let’s wash hands together.” It was easier this way. If she hadn’t of cut in, Will would go on another lecture about hygiene, and neither she nor Lian wanted to hear it.

Gotham City November 9th 23:54 EST Team Year Four

Jade would never get over her bitter contempt for Gotham City. Still, it was familiar. And familiarity was something she needed after trekking around the world for the better part of a year. The apartment wasn’t nice, but it was sufficient. Working electricity, running water, and a washing machine to boot. What could she say? Jade didn’t mind splurging after months of changing between a dirty kimono and beat up cargo pants.

Roy, though? Roy didn’t seem to care either way; they could have been living in an outhouse for all he noticed.

His research was growing to a point where Jade was starting to get concerned. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten, much less showered or slept. They’d both done a terrible job of keeping up with the necessities of living while on the search for Speedy, but this was supposed to be their break. Time to recoup, gain a few pounds back. Lay low and fuck around a bit.

She really wished they’d do more of the latter part.

“You’re doing a really shit job taking care of your wife, you know,” Jade sang, exiting the kitchen with a bottle of water. “Sexually, I mean. We both know that I’m the breadwinner in this union.” A few weeks ago, he might have smiled. She could still get him to smile, then. Now she was lucky if he even looked at her.

Roy’s gaze didn’t leave his laptop, instead pounding at the keys until another search result popped up. A quick peer over his shoulder disclosed that he was looking at a Brazilian tech factory. She snorted, shaking her head. “I’d cross Brazil off the list.”

“Why?” he grunted. “We haven’t hit there, yet.”

Jade shrugged. “Not secluded enough. I’d have gotten a drop on it if it was worth our time.”

“You’re not the be-all on Shadow knowledge. There’s no way you know everything. He could be there.”

The argument was commonplace for them now. Usually, she let it brew and bubble into a raging fire that ended with him throwing her against the wall and smothering her with his lips. Today, she wasn’t in the mood.

“Hey,” she began, trailing a finger down his neck. “If you have a good feeling about Brazil, we’ll try Brazil. But for now, take a break. It would do you good.” Jade slipped her arms around Roy’s neck, pecking it softly. He didn’t acknowledge her, so she pressed her lips against his upper shoulder; it felt more like a boulder than a tense muscle.

Roy shrugged her off, rougher than he had to be. It stung more than she expected it to. Without hesitation, Jade shoved away his laptop and stood in front of him; he knew better than to move her a second time.

He narrowed his eyes, red-rimmed and hollow. “I don’t have time for this shit.”

“On the contrary, Red,” Jade purred, her hands gripping both his wrists. “We have all the time in the world.”

A bitter game began between them. The line of sight remained unbroken, laptop temporarily forgotten. Blue eyes glared at gray. Jade smirked; he was actually listening. She took a step closer, and Roy swallowed, goosebumps appearing. “What do you want, Chesh?”

Jade shrugged, letting go of one of his wrists to trail a fingernail along his stubble. The shadow wasn’t a good look on him. “Go shower, Red. Take a nap. Shave. I’ll order something in.”

He scoffed, low and guttural. “What’s the point?”

“The point?” Jade cocked a brow. “Sleep and food are rather necessary to survival. The shower and shave are more for my personal enjoyment.”

Roy shook his head, turning it away from her penetrating gaze. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can. Soap is in the shower, and I even put out a fresh razor by the sink.”

“No, Jade, I can’t.” His shoulders slumped, head following suite. Jade waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. Every fiber in his body seemed to sag, finally collapsing under the weight of his doubts. She wanted to press, but something held her back.

She crouched down to her knees, gently sticking a finger under his chin and tilting it upwards until he met her eyes again. The blue stood out among the redness, begging her to understand. And she did. Jade had been around him long enough to guess what was troubling him.

It was no wonder he didn’t want to take care of himself; every time he looked in the mirror, he saw the boy whose life he stole. Or thought he stole, at least. Roy didn’t believe any of her attempts to convince him otherwise.

“What if I do it for you?”

Roy’s brow furrowed, confused by the ludicrous suggestion. She didn’t blame him. Before Jade had taken an interest in his life, she could have counted the number of people she cared for on one hand; and even then, there were still unused fingers. Caring was a loose term, better described as a general interest that could be stifled as a matter of convenience. As much as she hated to admit it, Roy changed that.

She couldn’t exactly pinpoint when she fell in love with him. It must have been somewhere in between the sleepless nights, the frantic pounding and the adrenaline of the chase. Jade wasn’t about to change who she was; she hadn’t even admitted her feelings out loud to him. Instead, she preferred her actions to speak for themselves. She’d married him, hadn’t she?

“I’m supposed to take care of you,” Roy muttered.

Jade shook her head, holding his jaw tight in her fingers before pressing a gentle kiss against his mouth. “Not today, Red.”

Star City July 17th 6:56 PST Team Year Eight

It was rather unwavering, being stared at by a three year old.

Lian had such an intense gaze, like her mother. The little girl was barely able to spell her name, and yet, in one glance, Will was sure she could see right through him. Terrifying, really.

“What’cha doing, Daddy?” she asked, swinging her chubby legs that dangled off the counter. It wasn’t every morning that Will tempted her with a mission; he didn’t blame her for being curious.

Never one to stifle her ever-growing curiosity, he continued to lather up his face, checking in the mirror to be sure he didn’t miss a spot. “Shaving.”

Lian raised a brow. She knew all about shaving; more than once, to ward off her boredom once Tara and Violet had gone, she’d sit on the tub while her Aunty Mouse shaved her legs. “Goin’ on a date?” she asked Will, cocking her head to the side. Whenever Lian had asked Artemis as to why she was shaving, Artemis would always answer that she was going on a date with disaster.

Will chuckled, glancing at his daughter with a softness he kept reserved for her and her mother. “Not exactly.”

“Oh,” Lian sighed, disappointed.

Her sad pout was too much for Will to bear. A normal father might have made a jest, or tickled away the frown. Will didn’t exactly consider himself normal; it was hard for him to show spontaneous physical affection to his daughter, despite the overwhelming amount of love he had for her. He was working on it, though.

Will bent down to her level, offering her a smile. “Want a kiss?”

Lian made a face, pout gone and replaced with a scrunch of disgust. “No! You got stuff on your face.”

“All the more reason.” Before she could clamber off the counter, he trapped her in his arms, planting a very foamy kiss on her cheek. Lian shrieked, bursting into giggles and trying to escape her father’s grasp. Will backed away after kissing her other cheek, unable to help the grin stretched across his face from the sound of her laughter.

Lian wasn’t finished, though. She pawed at his face, spreading the foam far beyond his beard and getting it into every crevice she could. Will tried to stop her, but was laughing too hard to get anywhere with it. By the time she finally had her fill, they were both covered with shaving cream.

Sure, he wasn’t the most touchy-feely father, but she loved him anyway. They understood each other, and for now, that seemed to be enough.

Will wiped the foam out of her eyes first, shaking his head at her. “You need a bath.”

“So do you!” she retorted, giggling soon after.

His laugh followed hers as he moved to run a bath. “What am I gonna do with you, Lian?”

“Dunno.” It was as simple an answer a three-year-old could give. Will appreciated that.

When the bath was full, he lifted Lian off the counter so she could undress. To his credit, Will attempted to help her, but that only sparked a repeated chorus of ‘no, I can do it’. Sometimes, he marveled at how quickly she was growing up. He still looked at her and saw the little baby in her mother’s backpack, laughing in the middle of a dangerous mission.

It was a miracle that Jade was still asleep by the end of Lian’s bath. He didn’t know how his wife managed to bathe her and end up dry. Every time he and Artemis attempted, they were both soaked to the bone. Then again, who could pass up a rousing battle between Aquaman (Lian), and the various evil sea creatures lurking in the tub? Will had Kaldur to blame for that one. By the time they were both dry, redressed and in their original positions, he was running far behind schedule.

“Alright, no distractions. I have fifteen minutes to shave, and then we can make breakfast. Deal?”

Lian nodded, messing with her pink headband. It was only a matter of time before it would end up on the floor, but Will would deal with that later. He picked up his razor and ran it under the running tap before angling it right under his left cheekbone.

“Scared, Daddy? Wanna hold hand?” Lian asked, noticing his hesitation. It was amazing how such a kind hearted creature had come from his and Jade’s genetics. Neither of them were ever this nice. It was sweet that his daughter was offering him the same comfort he gave her when she was scared.

Will set the razor down. “Thanks, Lian. Do you… want to help?” he asked.

Her eyes widened. “I help?”

“Yeah. But you have to be careful and listen to Daddy, okay?” It was probably a dumb idea to give a kid a razor, but Will was right there, and he wasn’t about to let anything happen. Lian took the razor in her hands before she nodded, face scrunched in determination. His instructions were simple, and he kept an eye on her the entire time; it was worth it to see the look on her face once she made the first pass. When she got bored, he took over, no longer apprehensive. The deed was done, nothing to do about it now.

When it was finished, Will wiped the remaining foam off his face, a little jarred by the smoothness of his cheeks. It had definitely been a while since he’d been clean-shaven. After applying aftershave, he looked at Lian, trying to gauge her expression. She was staring again. “What do you think, Lian?” he asked while rubbing his jaw.

The toddler pursed her lips, not unlike her mother, and tilted her head to the side. “You look funny.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, but beckoned him closer with her finger. Happy to oblige, Will leaned closer to her. Lian touched his face, giggling at the unfamiliar sensation. It occurred to him that she probably didn’t remember how he looked without a beard; he’d started growing it out shortly after her first birthday.  

“Still funny?”

Lian shrugged, letting go of his face. “It’s okay. You look like a baby.”

Ah, there was the brutal honesty he’d been expecting. Will didn’t know if it came from him or Jade. Perhaps it was both. He pouted, resting his hands on the counter. “A baby?”

“A baby’s butt,” she corrected before breaking into a fit of laughter. Will’s eyes glazed over, trying not to take it personally; she’d probably picked up the phrase at preschool.

While Lian laughed, Will cleaned the counter, giving her enough time to calm down. Jade would be waking up any minute, and he’d hoped to have breakfast ready before then. “That’s enough out of you, Squeaker,” he said once he finished, picking his daughter up. “We’ve got breakfast to make.”

“Pancakes?”

He mulled it over, trying to remember if they had the ingredients for pancakes. There had to be some mix leftover from last week, and Jade had picked up milk and eggs a couple of days prior. “I don’t see why not.”

“Yay!”

Will unsuccessfully tried to shush her, hoping to extend his wife’s slumber so he could at least make coffee. “Careful. If your mom wakes up and there’s no coffee, there’s a good chance she’ll leave us.”

He regretted it as soon as it had come out of his mouth. Lian’s face twisted, her cheeks tinting pink and growing tight as she mulled over his words. Will touched her head, smoothing back her bangs from her face. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

It took a few moments for her complexion to return to normal. Lian rubbed her eyes, glancing in the direction of her parents’ room. “Don’t want Mommy to go,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around Will’s neck.

“I know.” He rubbed her back, holding her close. It wasn’t up to him, though; Jade would come and go as she pleased. “I don’t want her to go either.”

Moscow December 30th 4:49 MSK Team Year Four

Roy trembled in her arms.

The dirty porcelain tiles remained cold beneath them, even though they’d been slumped against them for the better part of the evening. Jade kept her lips clenched tight to keep her teeth from chattering; her discomfort didn’t matter, not at the moment. Despite the cold, Roy was soaked with sweat. He hadn’t stopped shaking since she’d returned to the safehouse.

It was Jade’s fault he was like this; naturally, as most things were. She hadn’t introduced him to heroin, but she hadn’t stopped him either. In the beginning, she hadn’t seen the harm. If a little high would take away his pain, who was she to stop it? It was fun, at first. They’d stake out the local nightclubs, looking for information. She would hunt, and he’d get high. When they got what they came for, or didn’t, they’d have some fun on their own. Roy was a better kisser when he was high; more attentive.

Then it stopped being fun.

More of their money began to disappear. While she put a valiant effort at it, Jade couldn’t keep pretending that she didn’t know where it was going. If she let him continue, she’d lose him entirely.

Roy jerked straight in her hold. In an instant he was gripping the toilet, retching and gagging as if his life depended on it. She could do nothing but sit and watch, letting him be consumed by the very thing that did this to him.

“You’re okay,” she whispered once he was done, keeping Roy steady as he slumped back against her. “You’re going to be okay.”

Roy shook his head, dragging a hand through his hair, matted with sweat. “I can’t.”

“Stop talking.”

“No, I can’t,” he choked, crumbling against her. “I can’t do this.”

Jade shushed him, holding him tighter, trying to stop his shaking. “You don’t have a choice, Roy.” Her throat was rubbed raw from their argument the previous night. While he was out, she’d gotten rid of everything. Every needle, every trace of any addicting substance. Now, he was paying the price.

Her help in the search for Speedy, or heroin; she hadn’t given him another option. He’d tried, grabbed her wrist and almost broken it if she hadn’t of elbowed him in the gut. Jade could still hear the string of curses, the abysmal things he’d said to her. When Roy had finished, he stormed out. Without any money and nowhere to go, he returned twelve hours later. She let him sweat it out for a few hours; literally. By the time she gave in, his clothes were drenched and he’d been vomiting for the better part of an hour.

“Drink something,” Jade insisted, holding up a glass to his lips. She wasn’t surprised when he refused, just like every other time she’d tried. “Red, you’re going to pass out if you don’t drink. You’ve been throwing up for hours.” His skin was clammy against her palms, and despite her hold, he continued to shake.

When he didn’t respond, Jade grit her teeth. “Open. Now, Red.” Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his jaw in her hand, forcing it open. To his credit, Roy tried to fight, but he was far too weak to withstand her. He choked on the water, getting it all over both of them, but that was the least of Jade’s concerns. So long as some of it went down, she didn’t care.

Jade set the glass down, letting out a deep breath. Truth be told, this wasn’t how she envisioned her night going. She’d thought that Roy would be more stubborn, that he’d hold out on returning for at least a few more hours. Those few hours would have allowed Jade some much-needed rest, but here she was. Another sleepless night, making sure that her husband didn’t end up dead. It was too common to be cute, anymore.

“You look like death,” she murmured, smoothing out the knots in his hair.

“I feel it. It’s so cold, Jade.” Roy’s lips were looking a little blue. She cursed and leaned him against the wall, making sure that he was held up-right before going to get a blanket. The one on the bed was thin, but it would have to do. Once wrapped around him, it did nothing for his shaking, but he insisted he was better. “I think I’m done heaving. There can’t… be anything left in me.”

She hummed, resting her head against the wall. Exhaustion was starting to set in, but she wouldn’t allow herself the pleasure of sleep. On the ceiling above them, a spider dangled precariously from its web. “You’d be surprised. Do you want to lay down for a bit?”

Roy shook his head. “I don’t think I can get up.”

“Then don’t. I’m not going anywhere.” He must have been drained, for he didn’t even look at her oddly. Instead, he just sank down and rested his head on her lap. She didn’t mind being a little softer with him, now. He wouldn’t remember it when he was past his detox. Her fingers gravitated to his neck, smoothing down his hear with a feather’s touch.

“This can’t happen again, Roy.” Jade swallowed the dryness in her throat, hoping to sound less raspy. Less pathetic. “I won’t sit around and watch you kill yourself. You have to start trying.”

Roy touched her knee, giving a light squeeze. “You can’t leave. I need you.”

She nodded, hoping that he meant it this time. “Okay.”

Star City July 17th 8:12 PST Team Year Eight

Jade gave Will a lot of shit, and enjoyed nitpicking on the little things. Like his sense of style, and his taste in cereal. How could anyone blame her? The crap he ate tasted like flakes of cardboard. To his credit, however, she’d admit that he was smart. For the most part, he was observant, and quite intelligent.

Not intelligent enough to remember that she never slept more than three hours at a time, but that worked to her advantage.

She liked hearing Will and Lian in the morning. With her breathing low and ears cocked to the conversation, she could make out almost everything. Will was good with their daughter. Jade wasn’t comfortable enough to say it to his face just yet, so she let herself indulge in this silent pleasure. He didn’t know she was doing it, and she got to lay in bed. Win-win, really.

This morning, however, Jade couldn’t quite make out what the two were up to in the bathroom. The room was just far enough away that their conversation remained murky. Very odd. Lian’s bathtime wasn’t until the evening. She pulled up every possibility, but couldn’t come up with an answer. Finally, she chalked it up to an impromptu need for a bath, and left it at that.

The smell of coffee permeated the bedroom, signalling to Jade that it was time to get up. She preferred tea, but Will drank coffee in the morning. So she drank it now too. The bitterness was nothing compared to the sweetness of their daughter’s smile. She pulled herself off the bed, grimacing at the creak it made. Sooner rather than later, she really needed to buy Will a new bed. Lian slept like a rock now, but that wouldn’t last forever.

A shriek came from the kitchen, followed by a stream of giggles. Will said something Jade couldn’t make out, but she let it slide. The two were having fun.

Jade touched a photo on the nightstand, Lian and Will on a trip to the beach. Lian’s face was covered in pink ice cream, and Will looked so at ease. That’s what made her happiest in all of this. Whether she lived with them or not, their daughter brought him ease. Just for that, she was sure that having her was the best decision she’d ever made.

After brushing her teeth, she ambled to the kitchen, taking her time and letting the smell of coffee fill her nostrils. Despite the taste, the smell was one of her favorites. It smelled like home, this home, and nothing of the past.

Jade lingered in the doorway, watching as Will held Lian in one arm while he cooked breakfast. Any second, he’d notice her there. Until then, she was content to wait, and watch.

Metropolis January 28th 2:59 EST Team Year Five

Jade’s bags had been packed for days, but something held her back from leaving. Lawrence had always called her dumb for a reason. There was a nagging feeling inside her, wanting, needing to give him another chance.

But Roy didn’t even see her anymore.

He was all too consumed by his search, an impossible search for a boy who probably perished long ago. He didn’t see how she needed him. How much he mattered. Perhaps he never would, and it was time that she realized that.

She’d done everything in her power to help him. It pained her to give up, but what could she do? Roy was too far gone now, too obsessed. Once upon a time, she thought she could help him. Maybe even save him. At this point it seemed only finding the real Roy Harper would save hers, and that was a mission she could no longer help with.

And neither could the baby growing within her.

Jade didn’t know what she was going to do about it, but staying with Roy was no longer an option. She began spending more time away from him. Her old contacts set her up with quiet gigs, ones where she could make easy money without alerting anyone to Cheshire’s resurfaced presence. If Roy noticed, he said nothing.

On the day that marked her officially one month along, she decided it was time. There was no plan, nowhere for her to go, really. Paula might have her, if she told her she was pregnant. It would be nice to see her again, even just for a couple of days. Jade was near-certain that she’d throw her out after telling her she was going to abort the baby, but she’d savor the time before that.

She entered their apartment for the last time, fully ready to grab her things and leave. The lights were on. Roy’s laptop sat on the coffee-table, closed. Her ears twitched, hearing the tap close in the kitchen.

Jade kept her hand nestled in her jacket, fully prepared to whip out a katana at a moment’s notice. Without making a sound, she crept to the kitchen, pausing when she was right by the doorway. Something sizzled on the stove. A song was playing, one she’d heard before.

“It’s just me, Jade. Put the weapons away.”

Scowling, she lowered the katana before entering the kitchen. It was almost as if she were dreaming. Roy stood by the stove, stirring a pot. The kitchen was clean. He put the music on pause before looking at her. “Hungry?” “I could eat.”

“It’s nothing fancy, I just reheated some soup. You liked the soup from the bodega down the street, right?”

Jade swallowed. With no time to waste, she grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him ravenously. When was the last time she’d done this? Weeks? Maybe even months. He returned the passion, and for that she was grateful.

When they had their fill, Roy asked her if she could pull another lead from her contacts. There were new track marks on his arms. He must have been coming off a high.

“Yeah,” she said, hiding the thickness in her throat a little too well. “I’ll get us a new lead, Red.”

His smile almost changed her mind, convinced her to stay. But the broken man in front of her could no longer be fixed; not by her, at least. When he fell asleep, she rested a hand on her stomach and let out a deep breath. A child deserved a real father. A father who would take care of them, and love them. Right now, Roy wasn’t capable of that. Neither was she.

Jade lifted a hand to his face, caressing his cheek like she’d done so many times before. He didn’t stir, and for that she was grateful. In another world, maybe they could have been a family. Maybe she’d even consider keeping the baby, if he wanted it. He had the makings of a good father, deep down.

One last kiss, and she let him go.

Star City July 17th 8:17 PST Team Year Eight

“I’m hungry,” Lian groaned for the sixth time since Will started making breakfast.

He sighed, flipping a pancake over and resisting the urge to rub his temple. “I’m aware. I promise, the pancakes will be ready soon.” A tortured groan followed, and he sighed. “If I give you a donut, are you still going to eat pancakes?”

“Yeah.”

Will shot her a look, narrowing his eyes. “Promise?”

“Uhuh.”

“Fine. You can have one donut, Lian. But just one,” Will warned, going to the box and taking out a chocolate-covered concoction. It was a mistake ever buying these in the first place. If Jade knew he was feeding their daughter boxed donuts, she’d certainly have something to say about it. Lian cheered and took the donut in her hands, immediately setting to lick the sprinkles off. Her father watched her, wondering if he’d ever been that happy at such a simple task. “When you get tired of the sprinkles, do you want to help make the pancakes?”

Upon getting her approval, Will picked her up in one arm, careful of the coffee he was holding with the other hand. It wasn’t often that he did this with her, given their hectic mornings between daycare, Bowhunter, and whatever Jade had going on. But, he was off today, so why not? “Can Daddy have a bite?” he asked, trying to give a pout of his own.

With a dramatic sigh, Lian nodded, holding out the donut and allowing him the smallest bite. “Thank you,” he said, mouth full. After a sip of coffee to wash it down, he handed her the spatula and instructed her on how to flip the pancakes. Today was a day for learning, it seemed. First shaving, then pancakes. He gave himself some ‘good dad’ points for that.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood and he allowed himself a little smirk. He didn’t have too many talents, but knowing when his wife was lurking was one he was particularly proud of. “Are you planning to lurk there forever, or are you going to set the table?”

“Neither. I want coffee.”

Lian turned her head when she heard her mother’s voice, giving her a wave. “Hi Mommy.”

“Hey kid.”

Will tensed as Jade drew nearer, giving Lian a quick kiss. He sensed her pause, and a shiver went down his spine as her eyes raked him up and down. Before he could stop her, she grabbed his arm and yanked him around so he was facing her. He cursed, grimacing as his coffee sloshed all over him. Lian laughed, but his her giggle in a donut.

“Jesus, Jade, I was holding coffee,” Will hissed, shooting her a glare. “You can’t just…” he trailed off, noticing her stare. In all the rush of making breakfast, he’d completely forgotten the reason behind her stare. It wasn’t until she caressed his jaw that he remembered.

“You shaved.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t mean you get to go and assault me. Give me a warning next time, Chesh,” he muttered, waiting for her to let go of his jaw.

Only, she didn’t. Jade took a step closer, her hand moving to his cheek and stroking the smoothness. Did she hate it? Will couldn’t tell, her expression remained neutral. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at him for such a long time. Certainly not since she’d returned home.

Finally, Jade smiled. Not a smirk, but soft, and genuine. “So handsome,” she purred. “Can’t believe you went through with it.”

A hot blush spread across Will’s cheeks, not used to such compliments from her. “Stop making such a big deal of it, I told you I would.”

“And so you did.” Before he could make any more complaints, Jade pulled him in for a kiss. For the briefest of moments, he forgot about everything else except the taste of her kiss. The pancakes were probably burning, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t often that she kissed him like this, and he was going to savor it.

“Ew, Mommy and Daddy are disgusting!”

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Will and Jade broke apart, both of them glancing at their fuming toddler. “Gross,” she insisted, taking an angry bite of her donut. “No kissies.”

Jade chuckled, pressing another kiss to Will’s cheek before ruffling Lian’s hair. “Disgusting is a big word. Who taught you that, Kid?”

“Daddy.”

“Well, good on Daddy then.” Jade brushed past him towards the cabinet before grabbing the plates to set the table. Lian watched her go before shaking her head at Will, judging him with all the might of a toddler who hadn’t yet had breakfast. He acquiesced his daughter’s glare and returned to the attention of the pancakes, tossing the burnt one in the trash before starting anew.

Will held back on taking another sip of coffee, wanting the taste of Jade’s kiss to linger for just a little longer. The kiss wasn’t much, but it was as close to a declaration of love as she could give.

And for Will, it was more than enough.

[nikki-writes-stuff]

Option Three

Aaron closed his laptop and let out a defeated sigh. He’d read the email from the State of New York informing him that the public schools would remain closed for the remainder of the academic year. Naturally, this meant his own district as well—the Half Hollow Hills Central School District—and probably meant that he wouldn’t be able to see his friends from the athletics department until at least August.

The lack of income wasn’t a huge problem for him—his buddy Jack at a financial services firm in Queens helped set up investment he could withdraw from to cover the essentials. His landlord dropping the rent helped too but he was far from a life of luxury right now, just like everyone else. He was bored and longed for social interaction again.

It was easy to fall out of shape, given his lack of access to his regular gym and martial arts studio. He kept active with some sets of push-ups and abdominal exercises to maintain his fitness, and stretched to maintain his flexibility, but he missed the warmth of his blood running though his veins and the challenge the instructors there put him through on a regular basis.  

And of course, he missed training with Lucy, an instructor there a few years younger than him who taught him most of the more difficult techniques. Her classes were his favorite—she pushed her students further physically than the others did, and maintained enthusiasm and energy for the whole session.

And she looked damn fine doing it too. Without doubt the toughest part of her class was not staring at her. Of course he would never let her catch him—he believed with confidence she could swiftly and decisively end his life if she ever wanted to.

Fortunately for Aaron, however, she liked him enough that she wouldn’t do that, and she lived two doors down the hall from him. Even now, during quarantine he’d at least still get to talk to her.

  He caught up to her at the mailboxes one afternoon. “Hey Lucy,” he called out to her. “You going crazy during lockdown too?”

She smiled when she saw him. “I’m bouncing off the walls in here, dude. I’m so over this.”

Here she was in regular clothes, picking up her mail and chatting about their situation. It was easy to forget Lucy was a regular person too. “Preach…” he decided to go for it. “You free later?”

“I’m doing a virtual tutorial for ISD at 7. What’s up?”

ISD—their martial arts school, the Iron Self Defense Academy. If Aaron got nothing else from them he got confidence. “I was just looking to see if you wanted to hang out later. I know it won’t be like that time at the bar in Huntington, but it’s something, right.”

Quarantine be damned, if anyone was sick in their building they’d have known by now. Lucy smirked and shifted her weight a little. “No, I think it’ll be better.” This prompted a mote of surprise from Aaron. “I’ll be done at 7:45,” she said as she passed him by, jabbing a light elbow in his side as she did. “Don’t be late,” she added with a wry smirk.

Wouldn’t dream of it.

  He knocked on her door at 7:46 that evening. She answered in gray yoga leggings and a black pullover hoodie with the ISD logo on the front. She chided him initially for showing up ninety seconds late, but forgave him when he presented a dozen bottles of her favorite beer.

They started in the kitchen area, sharing the beer over leftover pizza, and ended up on the couch watching episode after episode of the Hostile Planet series of nature documentaries.

“God,” Lucy said, “I love these shows. I think that one’s my favorite series.”

“Really?” Aaron added incredulously. “I think Bear Grylls was a little much.”

“Are you kidding?” she laughed. “He’s perfect—he fit right in with the whole ‘survival’ theme.”

“I mean, I guess… I don’t know I think I would have preferred somebody else. Like Sir David Attenborough.”

“Come on, that’s an obvious pick. Use your imagination a little!”

“Well… I wouldn’t mind hearing Idris Elba or Jeremy Irons narrate a series like this.”

“Both solid choices,” Lucy added. “Amazing set of pipes on both of them.”

“I’m pretty sure the Nature Documentary Narrator position was made for a British guy. It’s tough to imagine anybody else doing it.”

Lucy and Aaron shared a laugh and the moment, just looking at and appreciating each other. Her in her hoodie and leggings; him in track pants, a t-shirt, and a zip up hoodie.

After six seconds of unbroken eye contact, Lucy finally spoke up. “Thanks, Aaron. This was fun, I needed this.”

“You’re welcome, Lucy… So,” Aaron said, feigning confidence a little, “it’s 2am on a Friday night, and you have me in your apartment, all alone. What do you want to do?”

Lucy raised an eyebrow, smirking a little. “Well, I’m open to suggestions, what are you thinking?”

“I do have five ideas on what we can do next.”

“Ooh,” she teased, “I’m breathless to hear them.”

“Okay,” he said straightening his posture. He counted them off on his fingers, pausing between each item “We can find something else to watch, we can grab another beer, we can fool around… we can do a combination of the above…”

Lucy broke eye contact. Her wry smirk began to straighten and her lips parted slightly.

“…or I can wish you good night and leave--”

“Definitely not that.”

This took him by surprise “Wait, not that?”

“No, I know what I want to do next.” Lucy got up off the couch and made her way across her apartment to the bedroom. She looked back over her shoulder at Aaron, still seated and almost frozen in disbelief. “Aren’t you coming?”

  There was no chit-chat once Aaron crossed the threshold. Lucy took hold of his face and pulled him in for a sensuous kiss that deepened as her arms wrapped around his neck and shoulders. He returned in kind, gently kissing her although his hands were saying other things—running on their own up and down her back. They made it underneath her hoodie and slowly lifted it up over her head, pausing at her sports bra before her hands took over and she freed herself of the woolen garment.

There she was, in the same perfection which he first beheld her: her build supple but strong, stunningly beautiful in a classical warrior kind of way, like a Valkyrie. Only this time the hunger in her eyes was for him, and him alone. Aaron felt on top of the world, that he had that effect on the woman of his dreams. Before he could even think for a second longer, Lucy took hold of his hoodie and fell backward onto the white bed spread, pulling him on top of her and locking lips again.

Before long Aaron slipped out of his jacket and under the sheets with her, running his free hand up and down her leg as Lucy pared off his t-shirt, ghosting her fingers up his sculpted frame like an artist validating her work. Their bodies were already warming up when Aaron braved her waist band and pushed his hand down to her panties. He lingered for a few seconds after breaking their kiss to make sure he was alright to proceed. She nodded quickly and reclaimed him as he began stroking her. Her wet panties told him she was loving every second of this just as much as he was.

Lucy freed one of her hands to pull her panties aside and allow Aaron more access to her, and freed the other to pull at his waistband and return the favor. He was well-endowed, there was no doubt about that; she smirked a bit at his, excitement, she felt through his underwear and he let a quiet moan slip when she felt him.

“You’re just aching for me, aren’t you?” she teased.

“Oh,” Aaron said, “since forever..!”

“Well, then,” she said, peeling off her leggings and casting her slicked panties aside, “you better come here and get me.” She removed her bra to reveal her b-cup breasts and slid under him, inviting him with a libidinous gaze and an even more seductive lip bite.

Aaron decided he wasn’t going to keep her waiting one more second. He threw his pants aside and got out of his underwear. She always called him a stallion for enduring her classes with little wear or fatigue; now he was going to prove it to her.

  Once inside Aaron paid attention to his form and the queues Lucy was giving him. He made sure he hit all the right notes and made this moment even better for her than it was for him. Like this? he would prompt with his hips. Like this, she would affirm with hers. He began to accelerate when her breathing became faster and her moaning became louder. She was insatiable; wrapping her legs tight around him and digging her fingernails into his back as she abandoned all concern that their neighbors would hear them.

Then Lucy took control; she broke the grip her legs had on him to turn Aaron onto his back with a thrust of one of her hips. Glowing, she claimed her spot on top of him and grinded her wetness on his excitement, her hair down around her shoulders

“I know that move,” Aaron said, laughing and catching his breath a little.

“I knew you’d catch that,” laughing as she caught her own.

Aaron took hold of her hips as she lowered herself onto him, guiding him up inside her again with her hands and letting out another moan. She started slowly, gently pulling herself up and down, but quickly returned to their previously established pace and volume. Lucy loved having Aaron inside her, and knew he was in heaven too. Especially after his next four words gave him away:

“I’m going to cum..!”

Lucy wasn’t finished yet, but she was getting close. She planted one hand on the headboard and the other on his shoulder to anchor herself as she bounced on him even harder than before.

“Lucy, I’m going to cum!”

“So… am… I!”

“I’m going to cum inside you, you have to--!”

Lucy finished first, screaming near the top of her lungs and sinking down onto him. As her hips rocked in place he thrust his head back into the pillow, matching her volume. Aaron finished inside her, but didn’t seem to mind now despite his prior protestations.

When she knew he was done, Lucy gently lifted herself up off of him and flopped down next to Aaron. She snuggled close to him and they drifted off to sleep together with the television still on in the other room.

  Aaron woke up in a bedroom that wasn’t his, and tanked the good Lord last night wasn’t a dream. He looked over at Lucy next to him, just waking up herself.

“Hey, lady,” he said.

“Well, hello there,” she returned with a smirk. She began to sit up when a pang of guilt washed across her face. “Listen,” she started. “Sorry about last night. It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone and I got a little carried away. I hope I didn’t ruin it for you.”

“Ruin what,” Aaron said, “the hottest sex I’ve ever had? I just hope it was good for you too, because I want to keep doing that every day for the rest of my life..!”

Lucy smiled and laughed. “We’ll have to do some planning, then!” She sat up fully and stretched, knowing Aaron would appreciate the sight. “So,” she suggested when she was done. “It’s Saturday morning at 9:30, and you just woke up next to your dream girl after some fantastic sex. What do you want to do now?” she said with a grin.

Aaron began to chuckle to himself. He had a feeling he knew what she would suggest.

“Because I can think of a few things we can do if you need some ideas.”

“Tempting,” Aaron said with a laugh, “but I think we should start with breakfast.” 

--Brendan M. Lubin, April 2020

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Fucking shit, Brendan, I'm just gonna be over here fanning myself for a while. I can't tell if I want to fuck Aaron or Lucy more. (The chaotic bisexual in me is shouting 'both' right now, by the way.)

You guys should definitely check out Brendan's blog @the-original-b. He posts awesome poems, and when I'm lucky he drops these sexy little stories into my ask box. ;) For real, B, you should try and post more of these on your blog. I, for one, am gaining a lot of inspiration from them. ;)