#then cried again watching the edit on youtube

[madrone33]

I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you Jorge. Thank you everyone who sung, and drew, and edited, and worked on EPIC: The Musical because you have all given me something that I will always - ALWAYS - remember and cherish.

I've been on this journey for over a year now, since Halloween 2023 when WolfyTheWitch posted a random short of Poseidon with the coldest musical lyrics I've ever heard. Ruthlessness brought me to this project, to this fandom. I was in all the events my timezone could reach, posted and messaged and freaked out with fellow fans on discord and tumblr and youtube and tiktok and twitch. I scoured the whole internet to find every piece of music, read the interviews, watched every livestream - most notably of which were the Ocean Crowdcast stream, the Circe Stream Crash of 2024, the Policy Violation Stream, and the IRL Odyssey streams XD

I got my family into it and was able to gush and rant and ramble to them about it; I've made so many friends because of this, and entered so many other fandoms too: MHSG, Udad, PJO, Hadestown, JCS, Lucids, DEH, and so many, many more; I've made essays and graphs and spreadsheets and analysis, discussing and picking apart the themes, characters, music details, motifs, lyrics; My voice has grown leaps and bounds because of how much I sing out loud now, I learned the songs on the piano, I started drawing?? I've written almost 112k words of fanfic for Epic, it's insane (and also not written down so much more LMAO). I even went out of my comfort zone and posted some of my writing and my covers which is CRAZY and nerve wracking and really fun!

Each saga I was left completely stunned and awestruck. Each saga I thought "surely, nothing can top this" and yet EVERY TIME I was blown away again the next time. The writing, the singing, the voice acting, the visuals, the orchestration, the lyrics, everything is just- !!!

Jorge. Miguel. Rivera-Herrans. HOW?? It's so good! It's SO GOOD!! And everyone's voices?? Everyone, just everyone is just talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same- THIS MUSICAL IS PURE ART, A MASTERPIECE OF A LEVEL HITHERTO UNKNOWN, THE LIKES OF WHICH MAY NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN. The fact that I was born in this spot in time, able to experience and appreciate and bask in the light of this glorious concept musical?? I am unfathomably lucky, and I thank the musical gods that it is so.

This past year has been one hell of a journey. I laughed a lot, I wrote lmao while actually only internally laughing a lot, I was tired and comforted and excited and anxious, I cried which I'm almost never able to do with media; Every day I would wake up and immediately check my phone for an upload notification, which is how I caught the Livestream today instead of missing it, so phew; I felt burned out sometimes, but managed to catch it and diversify my activities a bit, sinking into something else for a while before coming back refreshed and even more excited; My entire music wrapped this year was Jorge, Epic cast members' independent music, and greek mythology musicals; I watched the fandom grow even more, all the art, the fanfic, the theories, the memes, the friends.

I still don't think it's fully sunk in yet, but the entire musical is out now. It's done. I'm watched from saga three to nine, from Ocean to Ithaca. I've been here, every day, for a year. This is something that I don't think I'll ever experience again. I am so so thankful.

Thank you, Jorge, for bringing this into the world. What would it be, five and a half years now that he's been creating EPIC? He should be so proud, because I'm sure as hell proud. Odysseus finally made it home. The story is over.

But still, as Jorge said - This not the end of the journey, this is just the end of a chapter; the journey goes on!!

And I'll be here, taking that journey with you.

[dragonboydominicc]

Just finished watching aftersun. Do not fucking textm

[absolutebl]

BLs with Strong Historical Elements

Costume dramas, historical BLs, and BLs with time travel or flashbacks to historical locations & times.

These are in order of my personal preference, best at the top.

I Feel You Linger in the Air

2023 Thailand

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). It's about a gay man from our time who falls into the past, becomes a servant to a noble house, and falls in love with the heir. It turns out this has all happened several times before. Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but not as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy soulmates BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and as individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding

2021 Korea - WeTV

A boy cross-dresses to take his runaway sister's place as a bride to a shy scholar, turns out they like being married. A historical setting allowed this BL to use some seriously old fashioned romance tropes (arranged marriage, evil step-sisters, Cinderfella) but also modern BL stylings like fake relationship & secret identity (drag) plus some cute gay panic. It reminded me of 12th Night more than anything else which just happens to be my favorite Shakespeare play. For all these reasons, I adored it.

(the ghat kiss!)

Tinted With You

2022 Korea - Viki

Fun stylish time travel meets portal fantasy with a likable cast, historical setting, and two actual kisses that mitigate the rough plot and issues around anachronisms.

Word of Honor

2021 China (censored) - Viki/YouTube?

I don’t rec Chinese stuff often, because I believe in censoring the censors, but this show is one of my favorites of the post 2016 censored bromances. It’s two murder-gay assassins (pining sunshine/tsundere), and they are so insanely gay for two boys who will never be allowed to kiss. Tropes include: wuxia, soulmates, paranormal, historical, and fantasy elements.

To Sir, With Love AKA Khun Chai

2022 Thailand - YouTube?

This is a true lakorn (basically Thai tellenovella or soap opera) with scenery chewing performances, especially from the mother characters. Gone With the Wind + Days of Our Lives but gay. That said? I loved it: A glorious central brother relationship (the best, made me cry), het romances, class divide + gay *gasp* main romance - oh my word, the campy drama of it all! Arranged marriage, rebellion, cut sleeves, over-the-top death with curses and regrets, beautiful if inaccurate costumes, secrets unraveling, cover ups, sparkle murder, sex herbs, coils within coils including snakes and murderous green metallic sequins (is anything gayer on this earth?). It’s a WILD ride but it does end happy for our gay boys. A man cries when he finds DEATH GLITTER. Come on! You haffa watch it. That said, like Manner of Death I struggle to rate something on a BL scale when it patently isn’t a BL. So I ended up giving this exactly what I gave that show, 7/10 I enjoyed it a whole lot, but not as a BL.

The Untamed (Special BL Edition)

2020 China (censored) - YouTube

Censored wuxia bromance, amorphous ending. Probubly the best known BL of its kind out of China and responsible for bring many fans to the BL side.

Our Skyy 2: Never Let Me Go

2023 Thailand - YouTube

I was nervous to watch this PondPhuwin vehicle but I liked it a lot! Doomed soulmates + paranormal time travel to fix the past. I’m happy for the outfits and the dancing (if not the singing). It’s not a bad premise and it’s nice to see GMMTV lean into its high production values for a change. I'd adore a full historical starring these two and this was definitely the best of the second series of Our Skyy. I don't think you have to have watched the original Never Let Me Go to enjoy this.

Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth

2017 China

Gaga

Whipping boy trope... literally, servant character takes the strap for the prince, who then makes him his bodyguard and lover when he becomes king. Low budget historical, comes off as kind of cosplay wuxia version of Irresistible Love, but we get (in the credits) an actual kiss, and they both live. So yay for small mercies.

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner

2023 Korea (historical flash backs)

iQIYI

A new employee at a film company encounters a director who claims to have lived 300 years and insists that they have to date (eat, hug & kiss) if baby doesn't want to die. It has a lot of Japanese elements, not the least of which are: an office setting, the fact that every character in this show is unhinged, and a killing of the gays. Featuring a gorgeous & stellar cast, TDWBMD should have utilized them less for melodrama and more for chemistry. This BL surprised me by going there with a lipstick mark AND an actually gay idol. But (you knew there was a but) while it's a unique twist on an office romance it is NOT a unique twist on the doomed red thread trope, resulting in it feeling less than the sum of its parts and ultimately unsatisfying. This might have also had to do with the fact that this was one of those KBLs where I felt how very short it was the whole time I was watching, like I was missing something constantly, in every episode. Worth watching for some but seriously flawed.

First Love Again

2022 Korea (historical flash backs) - Viki

A popular novelist who remembers his past lives meets his soulmate for the third time, only to find she has been reincarnated into the body of a man. This one started out a touch mean-spirited, but we eventually got a good kiss. The confession/rejection scene was justified and the reconciliation and ending was... fine. All in all, the pacing felt rushed and the romantic arc was underdeveloped. They go from like to love to boyfriends in a red hot minute. But that’s par for the course with Korea’s short form. If you don’t mind a heavy does of melodrama in your BL this one has a solid story with a strong concept that’s well acted and produced, making it a classic KBL with better than average chemistry but ultimately a touch forgettable.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush

2022 Korea

This show was all over the place with uneven acting, narrative, and focus (sometimes it wanted to be a slapstick comedy, sometimes a depressing melodrama) which meant no one, actors or viewers, took anyone or anything seriously.... AND it’s a bromance. I was left wondering if SalHyung is now code for “they were roommates” in Kdrama historicals but otherwise largely apathetic and unimpressed. Korea, I now know you can do better. Do better.

Mermaid's Jade

2019 China (censored-esk) - Gaga

Kills the gay.

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

2016 China - Gaga

Kills the gay. Schrodinger's BL, both a BL and entirely not one at the same time.

Diary of Heong Yeong Dang

2014 Korea

Kills the Gay

I was gonna do a top 10 list, but there aren't enough by my metrics, so many end sadly.

This post at the behest of @verymuchof thank you for the idea!

Dated April 2023, includes only BLs that had finished their run by that date. Not responsible for cool costume flix that come after that. But you should check the comments to see if any have been added by others!

I might have missed a few that only have time historical elements since I don't always track those.

Also I would like to point out a decided lack of Japan on this list. My ninja yaoi consuming tiny past self is VERY upset about this void.

WHERE ARE MY GAY NINJAS??!!!

(source)

[callie-the-creator]

boyfriend!coryxkenshin hcs

sfw. this was also posted on my wattpad, so there is no point to accuse me of plagiarism or anything

• you already know cory is a hopeless romantic aka...the best type of partner! you lucky thing! you scored yourself the best of the best

• cory has not one ounce of toxicity in his very soul

— "he's a good man, savannah, a GOOD man. 😤"

• oh, what's that? you gave cramps either from your menstruation cycle or they just popped out from nowhere?

— this man would do everything in his power to make sure that you're comfortable and have everything you have to make yourself feel better

— he definitely wouldn't make fun of you or belittle you if it was because of your period (unlike those boyfriends😒)

• you already know that you'll make a few special appearances in his videos whether that be sss episodes or playing games specifically made for couples or ones that allow multiplayer

— it takes two, the dark pictures anthology, cuphead, you name it! you'll just have to motivate him enough to finish the games though since that's where he falls short...🫢

• but for the important question! what is his love language?

— personally, it's to each their own on the topic, but this is what i think: as much as i want to say physical touch, i feel like he's more of a quality time type of guy, you know? even if he does youtube, he still takes breaks and you can bet that he'll spend most of that time with you!

• there is not one dull moment as long as you're with him

• wouldn't be able to stop smiling if he caught you wearing his merch or any of his clothes for that matter...just not his puka shell necklace. never his necklace. ☝️ that's a big no-no

• he's definitely the type of bf who would play songs that remind him of you

— *cries into pillow uncontrollably*

• and when he is recording, you are known to bring him snacks or water and wave 'hi' to the camera

— but i'd doubt he'd need any snacks since this main usually has skittles, now and laters, and nutrigrain bars stockpiled in his recording room.

• if you text him randomly, he'll make a big deal about it and be all giddy. you make him so happy! 🥺

— also, if he's too scared while playing a horror game and dashie isn't picking up the phone, you're the second-best option for decisions! but you know what they say..."with great power comes great responsibility"

• personally, i don't think he's neutral on the topic of pda, but he's the subtle type bc he wants to be careful to not make you uncomfortable, especially when you two are out in public.

• since he's known to record really late at night, he'd do anything in his power to be quiet and not wake you up during his 3 scary games or his spooky scary sunday videos

— if he happened to wake you up by his screaming would definitely deadpan the camera and be like, "now why did you have to go and wake up my gf? 😐"

— deny deny deny, as rodrick heffley would say.

• we already know cory likes his anime, so i'm saying that you would binge-watch all types of shows and movies together. but, again, you'll need to motivate and encourage him a lot since he has trouble finishing stuff or gaining interest in shows

• would want cuddles or just to hang out with you if he got too upset over a game

— he has rage quit a few times

• cory would let you sit on his lap while he plays games in his spare time

— he will kiss your head or shoulder randomly. he'd also keep on hand pressed against the small of your back to support you, to make sure that you won't fall off. 💔 you guys are so cute togetherrrr

• his fans love you. i have nothing more to add to this.

• fanart and edits!! different youtubers garner different communities, and some are more likely to make fanart than others, but cory's has the best of both worlds! though, his fandom leans more towards the editing side of things, so expect lots to pop up on your fyp

• i feel like there would be a few videos like “3 minutes of cory being soft with his s/o” or, even better: “cory and y/n being the best couple for 8 minutes” compilations going around on youtube, tiktok, reddit, etc.

…that’s all i got! until next time <3

[dearly-somber]

Sharp Teeth | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. fluff, angst, unrequited love, pining, f2l (friends-to-lovers), high school!au

-> w/c. 1172

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. Heavily inspired by the Sharp Teeth animatic on YouTube created by Dead Sound. The song I listened to while writing this was a song included in the animatic by Wes Hutchinson called One Down Dog. Give them a watch and a listen.

-> warnings. N/A

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Wed., Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:18

-> fin. Wed., Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 19:18

-> edited. Mon., Jul. 18th, 2022 @ 23:35

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

Jungkook’s mother let her son cuddle into her side as he so often did before bed, showing him the book cover. Jungkook’s eyes sparkled at the sight of a particularly intriguing and somewhat familiar sketch of what he recognized as wolf canines. The book was bound in burgundy leather, the image of the canine carved into the cover so when his fingers brushed over it, it sank before evening out again. His mother turned to the first page and Jungkook got transported into the story, imagining himself in an open field with grass growing green and a gentle summer breeze, somewhere quiet and calm.

The point of view shifted from the delicately flowing grass stems to a herd of sheep gathered by a river’s edge, grazing peacefully.

On the opposite side, however, an ewe laid; looking curiously at two lambs curled into her side.

Jungkook’s mother read, “‘Are you… mine?’”

The ewe blinked carefully at the little lamb who stood on four shaky feet, tail wiggling excitedly at its mother.

“Mother is confused. She’s looking for a sign.” Jungkook waited with bated breath for his mother to continue, looking on as the ewe stood up herself. She nuzzled into the limp lamb’s side before pulling away slowly. “The rest seem unmoved.”

On the next page, the ewe turned to the eager little lamb, nuzzling and licking it before pulling away. Jungkook’s mother continued narrating in a chipper voice.

“‘Yes, you are mine!’ The mother stated with glee. ‘You’re small, and round, and helpless, but I can tell; from your blunt teeth.’”

The lamb baaed in response. Jungkook tilted his head in slight confusion. Blunt teeth? He brought his hand up to touch his teeth experimentally. He pulled them back after feeling around his mouth. No, his teeth weren’t blunt. Sure, some of them were blunter than his canines, but they were significantly sharper than what was considered ‘normal’.

Mother sheep lead her lamb to the riverbank, an establishing shot showing other animals on the opposite side of the river, grazing and whatnot.

“‘Most outside are friendly—the swift’,” a group of deer. “‘The strong,’” a herd of horses. “‘Who fly.’” Swans overhead. “‘Being so close to ground, it’s nice—to have more eyes.’” The lamb looked at its mother timidly, its weak legs quivering with fear.

“‘Don’t worry!’” Its mother soothed at the same time Jungkook’s mother brushed a hand over his head. “‘Blunt teeth, and beaks, and four feet… none here have sharp teeth. Just stay close to me.’”

As Jungkook’s mother turned to the next page, the illustrations took an unsettling turn, zooming in on the animals opposite of the mother and her young. “The swift ones run away, the strong ones turn around—both with heightened senses, and stuck so close to ground.” The point of view shifted back to the mother and her lamb.

“Will make them run in fear? Mother is confused. An evil monster is near! Her young as she cannot lose.” The ewe stood defensively next to her lamb. Panic seized her heart.

“Mother is to defend—slow but tough and firm—her young one not so behind her, the young bones. Every twitch another monster mother is convinced! She’ll never leave her youngster, even monsters do exist!”

A wolf rushed out of the shadows, snapping its jaws around the helpless little lamb.

“The young one cries out, but mother was too late. The evil monster lunged, and sealed the young one’s fate.” Jungkook instinctively held his mother close, lower lip quivering and tears glossing his vision. The ewe fell to her knees, panting fearfully by the river’s edge.

“Mother’s instincts shattered, scared. Confused of what became. So round and small and helpless, with only herself, to blame.” Jungkook sniffled, appreciating his own mother when she gave him a moment to recover. She paged over: a wide-shot of the wolf walking with a lifeless lamb hanging from its jaws.

“With this broken mother, seems the evil does no good. But the evil doesn’t eat—the young was not its food.” Jungkook frowns quizzically, his mother sparing him a glance and smiling fondly at his confused pout.

She turned the page a final time, opening the last two pages. “The evil, has it’s own young.” Jungkook’s mother brushed her thumb over the page with the wolf standing over a pair of pups, each small and round and helpless, with a whine slipping between their teeth. “Evil, could these be?”

Jungkook opened his mouth to protest when his mother closed the book gently, but hushed quickly when she brought him into her lap. She cupped her son’s face, thumb brushing over his cheekbones tenderly with a loving sparkle in her eyes.

“‘I think not,’ says their mother. ‘Simply born,’” Jungkook’s mother leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, “‘with sharp teeth.’”

Jungkook’s eyes closed unwillingly as she whispered the words into his skin. He pulled away to look at his dear, beloved mother with freshly stained cheeks, smiling adoringly before throwing himself forward in a tight embrace.

🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕

Jungkook’s hearing slowly refocuses, two warm palms pressing against his cheeks.

“—hear me? It isn’t your fault you were born with sharp teeth, I promise I’m not ma—“

Y/N lets out a surprised yelp as Jungkook falls into her, nuzzling into the crook of her neck while weakly wrapping his arms around her waist. She stands in shock for a moment at his shaking shoulders, before she eventually maneuvers her hands around his torso, rubbing calming circles into his back.

Jungkook is unsure of exactly how long they stand there, but he pulls away when her scent starts to cloud his senses. She smells like daffodils and raisins—an addictive combination.

Cupping his cheeks again, Y/N brushes away rogue tears with the pads of her thumbs. “You alright?”

He smiles softly at her, nodding his head in a small motion. They stare at each other for a second—Y/N with a comforting half-grin and Jungkook admiring her thoughtlessly. He eventually brings a hand up from her waist to place it over the hand resting on his cheek, hesitantly pulling it away from his face to place a close-eyed kiss to her injured palm. He only realizes once his lips touch the fabric of the bandaid that she had wrapped it, guilt forcing him to leave his lips there a second longer than necessary.

When the shifter pulls away, he watches her staring mystified at her palm, light pink hue dusting her cheeks. “I really am sorry about your hand. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Y/N shakes her head, wrapping her arms around his neck to capture him in a hug. “I told you already that I forgive you, dummy. Like I said,” she smiles knowingly into his shoulder. “It’s not your fault you were born with sharp teeth.”

Jungkook allows a reminiscent smile to grace his features while he rests his chin on Y/N’s shoulder, holding her close. She smells so nice, he could probably just… fall asleep.

[10underoot2]

I ended up on YouTube and came across this video. I cannot express the impact watching their story in a linear pasaage of time has. Kudos to the editor!

I could do a whole analysis on why their relationship is extremely profound and why we've all grown to love them so much.

They truly moved from unfathomable, new, young, fresh love to 'I forgot how to love you' (Hyunwoo) and 'I love you why don't you feel it anymore' (Haein).

The initial part of their relationship and their journey getting to 'You're my home' is extremely complex, multi layered, painful and so beautiful.

At one point one of them promised to be by each other's side in debt or something more while the other promised not to make them cry. At that point, they completely believed one another.

At one point, one of them said hurtful words and the other forgot to try again. At that point, both of them forgot to open their doors.

At one point, Haein who knows Hyunwoo loves her deeply thought him suspicious of joy upon hearing of her death. At that moment, Hyunwoo was guilty.

At another point, Hyunwoo deeply loved her but couldn't undo the mistakes of his past. At that moment, Haein judged him for his mistake. She forgot to give him the benefit of the doubt. She mistook his love for perjury.

At one point, both of them loved each other but could not openly express it to the other. At this point, both of them were hurting immensely.

At one point, they were both able to overcome it and tell the other how much they mean to them. At this point though, they were faced with imminent death.

At one point, Haein wanted to live, but provided with the option to live with a necessary evil of forgetting Hyunwoo she chose to die. At this point, Hyunwoo wanted nothing more than to convince her of their love fully realizing that this was her ultimate act of love.

I could go on. I'm not even bringing in their convictions and belief in each other. This is complex as it is. I cried watching how beautiful this is. It reminded me why I had fallen in love with these two. You can see where the story goes flat. It's when it becomes as simple as I remember it in my heart despite forgetting.

It undoes the complexity of their relationship and emotions and that makes me sad. So I'm gonna focus on this absolute gem of an edit that reminded me why I was rooting for these idiots all along. ❤️

[kaeyachi]

I finished the 5.1 archon quest...

first off, its a long one, and you will be actively moving for over 2 hours (and I do mean active) so you might need to time yourselves before starting Natlan AQ4.

not gonna lie, i dont think i have the emotional capability to function much after finishing it. the fact that for 2 entire hours of the AQ 4, I was full on sobbing...

heavy spoilers for genshin 5.1 below:

himeko death flags are still here

seeing a monster and death counter was haunting. Both of those rising as i proceed was haunting

being given a choice where to go and knowing you not going to the other location could mean that group's death was also haunting

arriving too late to several locations and seeing all of those dead bodies scattered was haunting

chuychu's death was so damn painful, and chasca's reaction hurt too (im thinking of Kaeya and Diluc in that position so I hurt myself more

finding out vichama died was a slap to the face but hey, at least he and his friend are together again

the cutscenes were cool but my tears made them hard to see so i might need to watch them on youtube later

hearing a baby saurians cries as the lone survivor... hnghh...

but there are some good too

the will to fight, the kindness and compassion from everyone. it really motivated me to go crazy despite fighting the abyss for OVER AN HOUR

finally i have 1 more confirmation and that is the fact that Mavuika is a member of the Scions of the Canopy, but what surprised me is finding out Burkina is her childhood best friend (i guess that's where the Kinich favoritism came from)

Capitano is still open to being Anfortas Alberich, Perinheri, or any other member of the sinners list of Khaenri'ah

wait i got reminded, but yes mavuika punched the false sky so hard she opened us all up to HSR lmao

more edit coz some thoughts popped up

i genuinely figured that Chasca was our last chosen one coz she was our only option from the flower-feather clan, but the fact that it took the death of chuychu...AFTER THEY GAVE US A MINI PORTION WITH THEM WORKING TOGETHER?!?!?!?! foooooouuuulll

Paimon's reaction at seeing all the dead bodies... her being left to no other reaction but to gasp...she sounds like she wants to cry...and this is a repeated event of us seeing a group of dead bodies in several locations. Just arriving too late far too many times...yeah it left my heart heavy...

there was a long period of time where kinich is the only one left on the map, so honestly Ajaw asking how tf he survived is so effing real like BRO??? HUH??

for a moment, the death counter reached over 4k and i looked at it in horror until the number went back to 1k+ (which is still horrifying), and i never thanked the ode to resurrection as much as i did until that moment pls

I need a breather. the quest is lore and emotions heavy.

[s-4pphics]

i NEED to see a street racer ellie x grid girl reader fic IM ON MY KNEES FOR THIS🙏🏾🙏🏾

OHHHHHHHHHHH WEVE DONE IT AGAIN IMPULSIVE HCS

wc;cw: 800 or sum, streetracer!ellie, gridgirl!oc, ellie being a car nerd and hot, mentions of sex MDNI, mentions of ciggies and illegal shit

streetracer!ellie…… passes out 

she always loved cars :3 her dad owned a mechanic shop and used to watch him repair all the damaged cars that showed up

when she was thirteen he finally let her help him replace the tires 

and then change the oil

and then fix the ignition 

eventually taught her how to drive stick😝😝

and 2 years later she knew the anatomy of vehicles like the back of her hand 

she was on her dads payroll 💯💯 shout out to mechanic!ellie😞

when she found out ab street racing she got obsessed with it. 2 fast 2 furious is her favorite movie of all time

her youtube history was wild😞😞 30 hours of devon aoki edits saved 

so when she got invited to a race by one of her friends when she was a junior for her birthday she almost passed out 

the screech of the tires on the pavement and smell of gas gave her heart eyes

she swore she was going to participate in a race after they both left that night

SIKE she thought everyone laughed at her when she showed up the next day in her dads beaten up family van LMFAO 

the bullying was devious fr😞 she cried a little when she got home

but ofc her friend helped her ass out and high jacked his brothers old nissan

the overseers allowed her to participate but nobody bet on her except her 2 friends. that $20 pitch didn’t help her confidence much but she loved them😞

she was nervous and filled with adrenaline and tried so hard not to gawk at the hot girls that waved their grids around 

when they waved their flags and signaled for the racers to go….

ellie was out that bitch fr😞😞 SKKRTED ON THEY ASS BIG PURRR

VVRRRROOOOOOOM LIKE BFRRR

she hit every sharp turn every curve every bump like it wasn’t shit 

she made everybody eat they words that night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEENIE😝😝

some overseers gave her $300 outta pocket that night and she wasn’t even on the list to race 

her and her friends went every weekend. would leave campus and go straight to the tracks fr

she started getting a little fan base after a month of racing😞😞 girlies from school would come just to see her 

but she didn’t pay them any mind💯💯 she payed them a little mind 

n 5 years later…. most betted on racer in the city YUHHHH 

she makes racks every weekend… and she brings it all home to her dad so she can take care of him 🥺🥺

he doesn’t question where she gets the cash from but he always feels nervous when she leaves the house🥺🥺 poor old man he just wants his baby to go to college

she owns one mclaren senna but never takes it anywhere😞😞 it just sits in her garage lol she paid for that shit in cash tho big bags big stacks

drives a fucked up supra when she races😂�� she tries to cover up the scratches and large dents with cute little spray paint jobs of fire and sparkles and shit😂😂

she named it renee and slaps the trunk like she slaps ass every time she gets behind the wheel :3 thinks it’s good luck

smokes cigarettes mmmm fuuuck

such an aggressive racer like omgg she gets so competitive and pissed she's so hot

tatted to hell. full sleeve

TERRIBLE RECORD!!!!! arrested twice and was on parole :/

but at least all the grid girls got a little crush on her 😳😳 titties out ass out bc they want her attention 

all the male racers hate her bc of it… she don’t care tho suck her dick💯💯

she’ll never say it but…

she definitely stares too long at one grid girl whenever she shows up in her little croppies and booty shorts😞 she’s fine as hell ITS NOT HER FAULT💯💯

too bad gridgirl!oc doesn’t pay ellie any mind anymore :((she had the prettiest smile and such good pussy 

that ooey-gooey. that sloppy. THE WORLD'S BEST CREAMER💯

did i mention they're ex's? YEAAAH CLOCK THAT TEA

every time ellie fills up her tank she can’t stop thinking about the time she bent her ex over the trunk and railed her from the back 

she may never feel that pussy again 😞😞 it makes her wanna cry 

when she met gridgirl!oc for the first time two years ago her world changed for the better

her zits disappeared, her hair got softer, her crops were watered

they fell in love immediately…. like instantly 

they were inseparable. up each other's ass. in each other's cars. in each other's guts. so so happy 

until they weren’t 

their breakup was soooo fucking messy. 

cheating accusations. screaming contests. EVEN A PREGNANCY SCARE???😳😳😳

a hot mess. and their relationship ended in flames :(

but that doesn’t mean ellie can’t peep every once in a while😛😛 that ass is still fat as fuck regardless of the beef >:)

[blossoms-phan]

going thru my youtube history and it's really funny so here's a rundown from a Certified Youtube Fangirl™ that no one asked for

subscriptions

first was o2l/connor franta/zoella/gmm (god i was so obsessed with o2l so nostalgic i acc cried the day connor left but that shi was probably terrible for his mental health lmao)

subscribed to pj first (what y'all know about being a tiny planet explorer) and then danisnotinteresting a week later (??)

crabsticks->pj the kick-> danisnotonfire (so many ppl dgaf about second channels but i was loyal to them apparently lmao)

danandphilcrafts on april 1st 2015 iktr

lessamazingphil in nov 2015

danandphilgames in oct 2016 (this must be another yt glitch like the fact that it doesn't show my subscription to phil bc i have photo evidence of subscribing to the gaming channel the day it was announced)

that's enough of that lets move on to comments (there are literally thousands omfg this is a real ride including ones from smosh and other people i was obsessed with but but i'll choose what funny dnp ones stick out)

first comment, don't hype him up too much

chill girl omfg as you can see i abused the laughing emoji but dan and louise collabs really are the funniest

so many comments like this on what are presumably phan edits on privated or deleted channels we've really lost the ancient texts + im real for that one still one of my fave videos

boy do i have news for you

jfc they should've been allowed to kill us

first gaming channel vid requests you're welcome everyone

why does this make me so emoo omg there was a time where i actually anticipated this video bc they probably tweeted about it or mentioned it in a liveshow and i watched it right when it was uploaded and have gone back to it ever single year since, over and over again and it's still one of my comfort videos :(( really grown up with them

ok imma stop there that's literally just stuff from 2014 there's SO much more im well aware most people were there and these aren't particularly special or funny and more cringe was just feeling a tb and now im going to fall down a rabbit hole of older edits/videos from this time im seeing now in the history that i haven't thought about in 10 years apparently (so many collabs and vlogs that have escaped my mind god they were soldiers for getting through the youtubers!!1 era it's all very nostalgic but can't imagine how draining it was once again grateful for where we are today)

[mokomakin-lapamato]

Seven weeks, almost by the minute. Somehow after the funeral it feels so surreal again. How can Liam be gone? I can't accept it.

Watched some Lilo edits and cried. There's also a song with the melody of a Robbie Williams song and lyrics about Liam going around in YouTube. I don't know if it's real or AI but it made me cry. Something about the crowd singing does that.

Zayn's back on stage. Happy for him. Proud of him.

Louis is writing music and playing the guitar. I hope he's okay.

I hope we're all okay.

[cuntendipity]

STRANGERS - C.S.

Summery: Rachel is a new up and coming youtuber. Once she gets invited to the birthday of a youtuber who's bigger than her she finally feels as if she made it. At the party, she meets The Sturniolo Triplets and her whole life changes. She just doesn't know if it's for the better or worse.

disclaimer: unedited <3

PART ONE

Growing up a very outgoing and rhombus child everyone always told Rachel she’d be someone important one day. She was always the first to dance the night away or be telling a really loud story in front of an audience of people. 

Unfortunately, life does what it does best and dulled her shine , it took away the only part of her that made her feel special and different from others she knew. Before she was out of high school, she was quiet and introverted. She didn’t go to parties, go out with friends very often, and she certainly didn’t steal the floor at family gatherings to tell a story that was otherwise boring but in an entertaining way. 

Of course people noticed but what could they do? Her mom always encouraged her to continue being the way she was but Rachel didn’t budge. She had been knocked down too many times for being herself that the last time it happened she just stayed down. 

Once she graduated high school, she met Danielle Hayes. Danielle Hayes is a local girl who is a youtuber. She introduced Rachel to youtube throughout their friendship but she also started to bring the old Rachel back. She was starting to feel more confident in who she was again and was willing to be in Danielle’s videos sometimes, which led to her making her own channel. 

Starting youtube was hard and she knew it would be but she didn’t think about how hard it would be to grow or make something out of it. She only focused on how she would get to be herself and put it out there, giving people the option to watch or not. She knew her personality wasn’t for everyone, school had taught her that, but she knew that eventually it would be for at least one person.

It didn’t take long for her youtube channel to take off, with the help of Danielle in a way. She was growing faster than she could keep up but she loved every second of it. She wasn’t in it for the numbers or the following she’d gain, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She would post vlogs, challenges, tutorials, brand deal videos, and sometimes just talking videos. She was a jack of all trades on her channel. People ate it up everytime and before she knew it, after a year and a half of working on her channel, she had reached 2.5 million subscribers. Her and Danielle cried together of happiness when they realized how far Rachel had come. 

Not only was she making a new for herself on youtube, she was also slowly becoming her old self again around people who aren’t Danielle. It was worth celebrating.

Rachel knew her next video needed to be the 2.5 million celebration video so she had been filming all day. The video was due to go up in three days and she still had to edit it. She finished filming the outro finally and once the camera was off she was able to finally relax. She took the camera to her computer and put the SD card into the computer. 

While waiting for the videos to upload so she could edit them, she decided to scroll through her various social media apps. After liking a couple tiktok edits of her and answering a few tweets from her followers, she was going to get off and get to editing so she didn’t get sucked into the inevitable doom scroll. As soon as she went to close her apps, she got a notification she never thought she’d see on her own phone.

Tarayummy followed you back! 

She would never admit it, or show it, but she was really excited by this. Tara was one of the only youtuber she frequently watched so for Rachel to see with her own eyes that Tara somehow knew who she was, filled her with a sense of excitement she’d otherwise lost. Before she could full process it, another notification came through,

New Message from: Ms. Yummy

Hey girl! I see that you recently hit 2.5 mill! That’s so rad. You deserve it so bad. I wanted to let you know that I’m having a birthday party on August 3rd. If you want the details definitely let me know, i’d love for you to come! 

Rachel read the message probably 10 times, making sure it said what it said before freaking out. She knew that her youtube career was really taking off recently and things like this would happen but for Tara to be the first one to message her was giving her brain overload.  

“Oh my gosh Tara thank you! I’d love to come to your party just let me know the details and I’ll be there!” 

Even though she was past the point that most youtubers would have packed up and moved across the country to L.A. by now, Rachel did not. She stayed in New York. She didn’t see a reason to move to L.A. honestly, and she loved living in New York. She was roommates with Danielle but Danielle’s parents paid for an apartment in L.A. for her to make up for something that Danielle has never told her. So she’s often out of town so it’s like she lives alone at the cost of only half the rent. She wasn’t complaining.

Tara messaged her the details and she read over them again and again, making sure to memorize them in case a tragedy happened and she didn’t have access to them anymore. She immediately dialed Danielle’s number as Danielle was currently out shopping. 

“Hey Rach, what’s up?” Danielle answered after the first ring,

“You’ll never guess whose birthday party I just got invited to!” She was trying to hide the squealing she was feeling but she didn’t do a very good job. 

“Oh my gosh, did you get invited to Tara’s party too?” She sounded ecstatic. 

“Yes yes! You’re invited too? We can totally go together!” Her mind was already reeling with planning this trip. 

“Oh, this is going to be so fun!” Danielle said, you could hear the smile in her voice. 

The girls then talked a little about the planning but Danielle said that she’d be home soon so they could continue it then. After hanging up, Rachel got into the editing zone, even with all the excitement going on, she knew she still needed to edit the video so she began working on that while she waited for Danielle to get back, 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Time jump)

The girls are eating lunch out after shopping for clothes for the party. They were flying out in a couple days and Rachel still hadn’t packed or even planned what she was going to wear. She was running out of time. Rachel was eating a parmesan chicken caesar salad and Danielle was eating a cheeseburger and fries. 

“Do you know any more about the guest list?” Rachel asked, Danielle was a bigger deal than Rachel in the youtube world with 7 million subscribers so she knew a lot more of the people than Rachel did so Danielle had been reaching out to her friends to see who was going and who wasn’t. 

“Oh my gosh yes! So obviously Tara’s friend group will be there. Madison Beer is invited but it’s unknown if she’ll be able to go. I hope so though because I feel like you two would get along sooo well. She might even replace me as your best friend.” Danielle joked, causing Rachel to laugh but also shake her head, 

“No one could replace you!” 

“Also, I talked to Nick a little bit, I think he and his two brothers, Chris and Matt, are going but they’re undecided. They don’t really like parties too much.” She shrugged a little, 

“Nick?” Rachel asked, tilting her head to the side, 

“You really need to expand your youtube knowledge.” Danielle mumbled softly, before laughing, “Nick Sturniolo! He’s part of the Sturniolo Triplets. You have no idea who they are?” 

The name sounded familiar but she could not place any faces or have any idea what kind of content they make.

She shrugged, taking a bite of her salad to keep from having to answer. 

“You HAVE to watch their videos. They’re so funny…and I’m not just saying that because I’m friends with Nick.” Danielle laughed towards the end, “I”ll send you a video later to watch. You’ll love it.” 

“Okay yeah, sure.” Rachel said. Even though she was becoming more herself, she wasn’t fully there yet so being outgoing in a video is one thing but being outgoing in real life, towards what would technically be considered her “coworkers” was not on her list of things she’d accomplished yet. That would be why Danielle is really her only youtuber friend. 

Throughout the rest of their meal, Danielle went on to name a few other guests who would be attending but Rachel didn’t know who any of them really were so it was pointless. As long as Danielle knew who they were she knew it’d be fine. 

They finished their meal and continued their shopping trip. They went into three more stores before Rachel found the perfect outfit. A jean mini skirt with pleated trimming that was super cute on her, paired with a cropped spongebob shirt. She knew in her mind that she’d pair it with her black high top converse so she was excited. That was her party outfit. 

Another two stores later and Danielle found her outfit which was a black, very  short romper but looked so good on her it was almost mesmerizing. Rachel was straight but even she knew when to admit her best friend looked hot as hell. 

They completed their trip and decided to go home. Rachel still needed to pack after all and Danielle wanted to help her to make sure she didn’t forget anything. 

Packing and unpacking are two of Rachel’s least favorite things to do so she was thankful for Danielle’s help as it took way less time and she was able to feel confident in the fact she wasn’t forgetting anything important. They were due to leave in 2 days so she didn’t have to worry about the trip again until they were leaving for the airport. 

Rachel was laying in bed when she got a text from Danielle

Here’s the link to one of their youtube videos. Let me know what you think! X 

Rachel clicked on the video and it was titled “Trying and Guessing 21 Different Drinks”. 

She watched the whole video and found herself laughing at all the right parts at how silly the boys were but also how they acted so..brotherly together. She knew they were brothers obviously but the dynamic was so different than what they show on TV it was different..it was better. 

She subscribed to their channel before closing the video and messaging Danielle back 

They’re funny! I’ll have to watch more of their videos.

She fell into a doom scroll on tiktok like she does every night. As she was in the middle of watching a tiktok about fun facts about jellyfish that had her completely captivated, she got a notification that took her attention away from the video.

@christophersturniolo liked your post

But when she clicked on it, nothing loaded. She looked in her notifications and the notification was gone. 

“Why was Nick’s brother, Chris stalking MY instagram?” She asked outloud to herself. 

Weird.

Authors Note: I always struggle with beginnings so i'm so sorry if this is boring. it'll pick up the next couple parts lol. let me know what you think!! I'm excited. it's been years since i've written a fanfiction so I hope that i do this justice. Thank you for reading! <3

[sunnyie-eve]

19 | Don't Worry

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2k

| MASTERLIST |

~

"Oh, my god! Penelope finally made her own channel!" Penelope films her first YouTube video. "Yes, I have decided to make my own channel. I saw a few asking why not make one for fun so here you go." She laughs.

"Not gonna lie this is really weird for me to do. Normally when I talk into a camera, I'm at least with two more people and not doing it alone. So pretty much what my channel is going to be is just for fun. Some vlogs to show how my days are at home, work, or whatever. Fun Q&A's if y'all want. You guys can comment or tweet me some things you want to see on here."

"Hopefully having this channel is a good way for you guys to know me more than what you just see when I'm in a few Sam and Colby videos or TFIL videos. And hopefully, you guys enjoy this if not that's completely fine by me. It's not going to hurt my feelings in any way unless you're extremely mean for absolutely no reason. I'm looking forward to this ride for me and you guys."

"Now let's go give the news to my roommates because they have no idea I'm even doing this." She stops filming and then starts again going to Aaron's room first.

"Am I bugging you?" She pops her head into his room.

"Nope, what up?" He turns towards her.

"I'm making my very first vlog for my YouTube channel. What do you think about that?" She films him.

"People can finally see what you actually deal with 24/7." He laughs, "Also you finally joined the rest of the team. You're gonna have to join the prank wars now." He lets her know.

"Oh, hell. I forgot about that. Shit." She leaves his room and goes to Sam's. "Hey, hey, Sammy." She enters his room.

He looks at her confused, "What are you doing?" He chuckles.

"I'm starting my own YouTube channel and this is my first Vlog."

"I'm so proud of you. Look at you growing up." He cheers for her making her laugh.

"Let's go tell Colby now." They go across the hall. "Colbs!" She screams swinging his door open scaring him.

"Was that necessary?!" He throws a pillow at her.

"Yes, this is my first vlog on my channel." She smiles and he jumps up on his bed cheering.

"She's joined the dark side!"

She leaves his room finding Corey and Elton together, "Say hi for my first vlog going up on my channel!" She screams at them with Sam and Colby following her.

"What? Look at you!" Elton applauds her.

"Penelope! Penelope!" Corey chants.

"That means you can be part of the prank wars now, right? We get you and you can get back at us?" Elton brings it up as well.

"Shut up! Never mind, I'm not starting a channel." She shakes her head.

"Nope, now we can 100 percent involve you now." Colby cheers.

"Okay, well I'm ending this here now. Thank you, guys, for watching my first-ever video. You'll probably see stupid prank wars videos as soon as these idiots prank me. I'm not looking forward to that." She huffs.

"Like, comment, and subscribe!" Sam screams.

"Yeah!" They all yell.

"Again, thank you guys. I'll see you next time." She says ends the video.

"Look at her Colby. She's already a pro." Sam fake cries.

"Whatever, Sammy. Thank you guys for being happy for me." She tells them and they say of course.

She goes to her room and edits her video for a bit before she has to go do a little shoot for work. Leaving the house though, her car doesn't start so she goes back in asking for a ride and Colby is as the only free one.

"They won't mind if I'm just there right? Since I'm your ride and can just wait for you." Colby asks following the directions.

"I don't think they will mind. There's plenty of room behind to sit and watch. I've seen others that do nothing just sit around waiting for someone." She tells him.

As Penelope said they didn't really care Colby was there since he was her ride. Just as long as he say quietly they wouldn't have a problem with him.

While Penelope sat in her chair getting her hair and makeup done, Colby noticed Darwin walk in so he walked over to him.

"Ugh, if you're here she's here." Darwin sighs.

"You got my message right?" Colby crosses his arms.

"Yes, I got your stupid message. And I don't care if you guys are dating because I'm seeing someone else now. Who is way better than Penny." Colby's hands ball up into a fist and Darwin sees this, "Do it. Embarrass your girlfriend at her job."

"I'm not going to satisfy you." Colby walks off going back to Penelope, "Darwin just got here." He tells her.

"Just ignore him. For me, please." She takes his hand into hers.

"I will for you." He gives her a smile.

"Thank you." She lets go of his hand, "Now, I gotta go do my solo then we do group and we're good to go." She gets out of her chair.

As she works Colby just watched and was memorized by her and how she was a natural for the camera, "I'm entirely fucked." Colby says to himself then forces himself to look away to see another girl looking at him in a flirty way. His eyes widened a bit before looking back at Penelope.

"Darwin, who is that?" The girl walks over to him.

Darwin looks over at who Megan was talking about, "Colby, Penelope's boyfriend but when I dated her, he was just her best friend." He rolls his eyes.

"He's dating her?" She can't help but laugh, "He's too good-looking for her."

Darwin looks at her, "And I wasn't?"

"You were but you're not my type. He is." She looks back over at Colby, "You think he's the type to leave her or cheat?"

"You aren't going to get what you want Megan so give up now." Darwin goes through his phone but she walks over to Colby anyway.

"Hi, I'm Megan." She puts her hand out to Colby, who is startled by her coming over.

"Hey, I'm Colby, Penelope's boyfriend." He shakes her hand quickly.

"How did she get so lucky meeting you?" She says in a flirty tone.

"Childhood friends. Our moms are best friends." He looks at the time on his phone feeling awkward at the moment.

"So you guys are like really close?"

"Yeah, dippers to now. So our relationship is great." He smiles looking over to see Penelope still busy.

"I know you guys are like best friends as well but she can still keep secrets from you. Like did you know, she cheated on Darwin, with the guy over there, Jake. If you watch them near each other you can see they have a secret thing. I'm just trying to warn you."

Colby can't help but laugh at her, "Thanks but I'm good. We're good because you're making up lies at the moment. One; she tells me everything because we're best friends first. Two; Jake is gay because I follow him on Instagram so I know he has a boyfriend."

Megan stood there taken back because she was used to the guy believing her and getting with her next. She just huffs walking away as Penelope comes back, "You met Megan..."

"Yeah, made up lie about you. You apparently have a secret thing with Jake." He laughs.

"Wow. Yeah, she has a repetition for going after other girls' boyfriends and normally she gets what she wants." Penelope lets him know.

"Well, she's not getting what she wants this time." Colby kisses her cheek.

"Also, I'm not needed for the group shoot so we can go home now." She lets him know as well.

"Great because Megan eyeing me makes me super uncomfortable. First thing first, I have to find the bathroom before we head out."

Penelope gives him the directions while she grabs her stuff so Megan walks over to her, "Colby is sweet. Darwin said something while you were with him."

"Again, I never cheated on him with Colby. We got together after and months after so it wasn't right away." Penelope huffs trying to plead her case.

"I honestly don't see what he sees in you. You're way out of his league." Megan eyes her up and down before leaving her.

"I heard we're apparently a secret thing." Jake joins Penelope's side, "Freddie thinks that's funny."

"Yeah, she's trying to get what she wants."

"Are you even a little nervous she could? You two aren't really so..." He whispers the last part because he has known about the act since she told him.

"I know Colby's type and she doesn't fit it, trust me. Plus he hates mean girls. Especially if they're mean to me. Junior year he stood up his date to homecoming because she said shit about me." Penelope giggles thinking back, "It was funny the next day at school."

"Well, I wish you guys luck with her." Jake goes to his shoot as his name is called.

Walking towards the bathroom area, Penelope sees Megan with her back against the wall kissing Colby with her arms around his neck and his hands on the wall, "Huh." Penelope speaks up so Megan lets go smirking while Colby was speechless.

He was just coming out of the bathroom when Megan popped up out of nowhere and pulled him into a kiss. Her hold on him was tight he's been trying to get her off him for like the past minute. He thought he could use the wall as support to push out of her hold but it still didn't work.

"I get what I want." Megan shoulder checks Penelope going back to the main area.

Penelope shakes her head walking out with Colby following, "I swear I have been fighting to get out of her grip, Penny. I came out and she came out of nowhere grabbing me." Colby speaks up finally as they reach his car.

"It's okay, Colby." Penelope forces a laugh, "We aren't actually dating so you don't have to worry." She gets in the car.

"No, I do because you know me. I would never kiss or get with anyone who treats you like shit. Megan is a piece of trash and kissed me forcefully." Colby doesn't start the car.

"Colby, it's fine. I know and I believe you." She gives him a smile but deep down it hurts her for some odd reason. Like he said, he was trying to get her off him but still.

The ride back to the house was silent and the only the radio was the sound. Entering the house they go in different directions and Colby goes to rant to Sam.

"Oh, what now!?" Sam asks as Colby enters his room.

"So this chick, Megan, who is a bitch by the way. Forced herself into me because I'm dating Penelope. Penelope caught her kissing me in this situation because I couldn't get out of this girl's grip. I told Penelope what happened and she told me not to worry about it. Tell me why I feel like I should worry about it?" Colby takes a seat on the bed.

"You know exactly why, Colby. I don't have to remind you."

"But still!" He leans back hitting his head on the wall.

"I think your act is really getting to you since you actually want it to be true. You felt as if you were actually kissing another girl that's not Penelope, your girlfriend. Colby, you need to tell her or get over it because you're gonna drive yourself insane." Sam tries to help his best friend.

"Why did I have to feel this way about her? You were never this bad when you liked her. Yeah, I heard you saying you were close to asking her out before Tyson."

"Oh, I was, I just knew how to control my crush on her. Thankfully you introduced me to Kat and it went away." Sam laughs.

"What?! You liked her that long? Sam!" Colby jumps up.

"I did, yes."

"How can you have liked her when I did?" Colby says making Sam point at him.

"Ha! So you did know you liked her way before the kiss!" Sam jumps up now causing Colby to glare at him.

"Oh, shut up. You already said I've always had a thing for her deep down. I just never wanted to admit it. And you're not helping me right now."

"This is for you to figure out, dude." Sam pats his back.

[sweetmariihs2]

List of inspirations that I noticed in ✨️The Amazing Digital Circus✨️

an almost-essay (PART 1)

When I watched the first episode for the first time I started to notice several similarities to other subjects that I also like and know, other fandoms and popular things on the internet, and I soon thought about sharing them on Tumblr (which I'm doing now).

I know there will be things that other people have noticed that will be missing from the blog, but I will try to include all the things that I remember recognizing at that moment. Feel free to share them, though!

I don't know the formal names of some things I'm gonna mention, and also my english It's not the best, I'm trying to practice my writing <3

I'll have to divide this blog into two parts because Tumblr doesn't support more than 10 images per blog. grrgrrgr I really wanted to put everything together but I can't. At the end of the blog I will put a link to part 2 and you can continue reading [when i finish the part 2 of course]

1 - Popee the Perfomer

Popee the Performer is a low-budget animation made in 2000, at the time when 3d animation was still a new technology. It's a collection of shorts and they talk about three circus performers' interactions. People found this on the internet in 2021 and they started a new fandom on top of it. What makes this show talked about it's the disturbing situations the characters put themselves through. There are a lot of violent scenes and sometimes the characters die by the end of the episode, but when we go to the next one they're just alive again, and that makes us question if they are living stuck in an eternal loop with no way of getting out of that small circus setting.

The 3d is pretty simple, mostly because it's old, but that makes me think about the connections between PTP and TADG are the aesthetics, the whole "disturbing adult cartoon about serious topics with a children's colorful aesthetic" thing, and also those connections with the Nintendo 64 graphics. I'M GONNA MENTION IT TOO!!

And a part of this fandom also it's part of Raggedy Ann and Andy's fandom. They were pretty close in 2021.

2 - Raggedy Ann And Andy

Ragatha, next one

I'm kidding there's more

Their fandom started around 2021 because the YouTube algorythm just decided that it was time to recommend a video about Raggedy Andy to EVERYONE! And that's how I discovered them too <3 (I WAS THEREEE I WAS THERE). Andy got the main focus and he was everyone's dream boyfriend lol

Also that's completely unrelated but I wanted to say that I'm one of the people whose video was recommended to everyone through YouTube algorythm and helped the fandom to grow even more (I'm so proud of myself guys I'm sorry awnqbehdjwndbwjdnh)

I believe that if that first video that helped me (and more people) to discover them were never recommended to us, maybe Ragatha wouldn't even have that design!! It's alright that Ann is a doll from the 1900s, but the whole "Raggedy Ann And Andy" thing wasn't a fandom topic, they were just normal ragdolls and they were recognized only by grannies and "the anabelle doll" (this one makes me pissed)

3 - Nintendo 64 (and old 3d art)

And this recognition that it is a fandom united this subject to other famous fandoms, leading to the same audience, and this audience is also TADG's audience. I'll talk more about this at the end of the blog! (Edit: Part 2 of the blog. *silently cries*)

And there's this blog:

That low budget 3d aesthetic it's turning really popular recently. I'm not much of an expert on the subject since I don't know much about games, but I recognize it from the old graphics and my biggest reference is Mario 64. There's a good explanation for it being so popular, I have a theory that it's related to liminal spaces, but I'm not sure. Still, it's worth mentioning.... and also that bubble character really looks like chain chomp!!

They're besties

4 - liminal spaces (backrooms and the "dreamcore" aesthetic)

happy balloons because the backrooms scare me (i hate it)

I think if you're on Tumblr it's very likely that you already know what the backrooms are. A part of our reality, but outside of it. There are floors and floors of eternal levels, where you wander in the same place and don't go anywhere. As if you had broken the matrix and were trapped outside, in a bug. This has become very popular on the internet and it's interesting that it is being used as inspiration for creating a show.

Furthermore, there was also the popularization of aesthetics such as dreamcore, traumacore and weirdcore, which consist of images that look like they came out of a dream. Things that you recognize, but don't know where they came from, like a deja vu, which makes you uncomfortable. It's extremely linked to the backrooms, since it's the same feeling. Many of the images are things that take us back to childhood, to the past, but they are not right, as if they were corrupted. Old 3D is also used a lot to make some of these images, like the example I gave of the Nintendo 64. The fandoms are all interconnected!

In this whole concept they also like to be inspired by childhood characteristics, such as old images of toys, empty birthday parties, playgrounds, and it also takes us to that famous sensation on the internet that I don't remember the name of, but it is basically feeling afraid of a place where people should be going, but they aren't. Abandoned places. The fear of being alone. All those topics revolve around each other. They makes us question abour reality, "do I even exist?" (I know I do, but writing characters that way and exploring the possibilities is kinda nice)

I know a brazillian youtuber that made a good video about it, her name is Replai and in the video she talks about how Poppy Playtime's art was made, but I know that most of the people reading this don't know how to speak in portuguese so... yeah. It's a good video.

5 - Children's aesthetics (but something's off)

This gif speaks for itself. It's that traumacore/dreamcore/weirdcore thing that I was talking about.

Still talking about that empty feeling of knowing that something it's familiar but don't knowing where it came from, childhood memories can be related to this, as they are vague, distant and sometimes carry a feeling of sadness. I'm not a great expert on the subject, but somehow the way that's explored scares us, I know there's a good explanation on the internet. This reminds me of the reason why people are afraid of clowns: they wear this fixed smile on their face and try to appear friendly, but it's this frozen, empty expression that leaves us afraid that there are other intentions underneath. And the fact that they are so related to childhood and children's innocence makes us fearful, because we don't know if they can do any harm to them. (of course, this all happens subconsciously, you don't think about it that way but your brain activates this instinct of fear) (not you YOU, people with that phobia)

I refuse to believe that these things are not interconnected. There is a strange feeling that can be explored from this childish aesthetic and connection to childhood.

Many media are using this aesthetic as part of their stories, especially horror ones. Five Nights At Freddy's was a pioneer, exploring this in the early 2010s, and then there were other franchises like Poppy Playtime, Bendy And The Ink Machine, other FNAF games (and there are also discoveries of things that do this unintentionally and that were created before this popularization, like Popee the Performer. In music we also have great examples like Melanie Martinez's old albums, during the Cry Baby era. There are also other aesthetics who like to explore this childlike-creepy vibe, and they're a little unrelated to all this stuff, like Morute/Dollcore). Whenever I talk about this I remember FNAF SB Daycare, as it is the result of all these topics we have talked about so far. The Security Breach DLC "Ruin" decided to explore this fear of empty, abandoned places, but which once had happy children walking through the corridors. This feeling is very scary.

Do you remember when I gave clowns as an example? The circus is also a way to explore this scary+childhood feeling. A place where there should be lots of games, but which only causes fear, as in the case of those scary clowns. It's quite common in the media for the circus to be used as a focus of terror, however in the internet version we were talking about just now, it doesn't have to be directly a horror circus, just feeling that childish sensation and feeling that something is wrong is enough. Enough to make us feel uncomfortable. It's like the characters were suffering, but they can't scream for help, and it's a disorted vision of how a circus should look like. Hi Pomni!!

The Daycare Attendant also explores that.

6 - Bendy and Fnaf (for the same reasons I already told you all, but one more)

Jax it's Bendy's and William Afton's lost son. We don't need no DNA test.

(I'm obviously just kidding btw, his design was probably inspired by them, MOST ESPECIALLY BENDY and maybe the Cheshire Cat from Alice because of his smile??? Idk)

stay tuned for part 2 <3

[crowsghosts]

I swear Hadestown lives absolutely rent-free in my head. The hyperfixation on the show has been going over two years strong and dear lord how do I start.

I first heard of Hadestown when I listened to the Cathedral edit of NYTW Epic III by druid-for-hire on YouTube. I don’t remember when I first ran into it, but the hyperfixation didn’t officially start until June or July of 2021. Regardless, when I did find out about the show’s plot, I went

“Oh. Oh no.”

I already knew of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth thanks to the power of a TedEd video. I knew Orpheus would turn around. But maybe he didn’t in this adaptation-

And he did. Damnit, Orpheus, you had one job.

As to why I got so attached to the show/it becoming one of my hyperfixations? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the respective myths of Orpheus and Eurydice and Hades and Persephone stand as my favourites out of the Greek mythos. Maybe it’s because I relate to Orpheus in plenty of ways and Hades to a small degree. Maybe it’s the music genres, jazz and American blues respectively, that I’ve always enjoyed since I was a kid. Maybe it’s all of those factors, who knows? Hell, the hyperfixation caused me to dive deeper into the Greek mythology rabbit hole, see the show on tour and on broadway, want to learn the instruments used in the show, and incorporate some aspects of the show and the myth it’s based off of into my minecraft character.

I remember, during intermission at the tour show, I overheard someone talking to their friend something along the lines of…

“So, you think this will end happy? Well…”

You should’ve seen my face when I overheard that.

And when Orpheus turned around when I saw it on broadway last month, I remember hearing a very distinct “noooooo” in the audience. It always interested me how people react going into the show practically blind. No knowledge of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. No knowledge of the ending. The hope that the pair will make it, only to be utterly shattered when the bard, doubt taken over, turns around and helplessly watch his muse descend back into the Underworld. Back to Hadestown.

I remember balling my eyes out when I first heard Epic III and nearly cried hearing it live. Twice. I know Orpheus turns around in the end, but at the same time, denial remains a river in Egypt until I see the show or listen to the soundtrack again.

Again.

And Again.

But, as Hermes says, it’s an old song, and we’re going to sing it again and again.

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

feeling sooo normal and hinged today (lying) (spent morning watching my favorite preminger youtube edits, blogged about nov 5 all day, listened to my bastille playlist from 2016, cried about destiel, rewatching vld again)

[nosecondivelived]

my favourite video essays!! (except i don’t know what qualifies as a video essay and am horrible at summaries. just go with it 💯. i think? tws are quite obvious from the video thumbnails, but if anything needs to be edited lmk.)

This wikipedia article hides a sorrowful secret- Lily Alexandre

A video about two things, a poem found within an old version of the wikipedia page for the fermi paradox, and the creator’s own grief dealing with her grandmother’s death. They may not seem related, but to me they were.

Abortion and Ben Shapiro - Philosophy Tube

Essentially a breakdown and refutation of Ben Shapiro’s anti-abortion argument. Honestly just anything by Philosophy Tube tbh. She is actually hilarious at times and makes bomb ass videos with an absurd amount of research behind them.

Defunctland: The bizarre Garfield dark ride - Defunctland

A video essay exploring the history of and behind a now closed Garfield amusement park ride. The first of two Garfield related videos to make me cry on this list <3

John Mulaney: Could we see this coming? -Ro Ramdin

A video exploring why people were shocked when John Mulaney essentially condoned a transphobic act as his opener. (sorry if that summary is inaccurate, i did not watch clips of the event itself and it has been a while since i watched the video above.) Again, anything by Ro honestly, she is one of THE funniest people on youtube.

These videos traumatised children: The dark legacy of Elsagate - wavywebsurf

I clicked on this video purely out of nostalgia, but it was actually surprisingly entertaining! Spiderman-Elsa videos define who I am as a person and it’s really neat to find out what actually was up with them looking back.

A look inside the war on Pokemon - hazel

A video discussing the reaction to Pokemon when it first debuted. Mostly focusing on the ‘satanic panic’ side of it.

The autistic horror of Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared - Patricia Taxxon

DHMIS is one of my favourite horror-ish series, and while it unsettled me, I never found it scary per se. I love seeing how people’s brains and life experiences affect what they perceive as frightening, even if it’s not ‘scary’? I’m not explaining this well, but it’s a dope ass fucking video. Might not be the best way to describe it considering the tone of the video, but I don’t know what else to say

Every Zelda is the darkest Zelda - Jacob Geller

A video discussing the ‘darkness’ of the different games in the Zelda franchise, how ‘darkness’ isn’t measurable by ‘most to least’ and having something be ‘dark’ doesn’t make it good. Cried at the end 👍 10/10

What the internet did to Garfield - Supereyepatchwolf

I feel like the thumbnail and title is pretty self-explanatory? But it’s a video analysing Garfield, why it’s so popular, and (surprise) how the internet changed it. Made me cry. Also I religiously rewatch the lasagna cat section of this, it was what led me to the analog horror genre! (Though I don’t know if lasagna cat is horror exactly?)

The mythology behind Hades - Ludiscere

I love you, Hadesgame. Supergiant I’ll sell you my left kidney if you let me have Hades 2 now