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saby-chan · 3 years ago

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Fire Lord Ozai: A blood thirsty monster or the less fortunate “Zuko” of his generation?

Hello again and thank you as always for clicking and allotting some of your time to read my humble post! Since I’ve happened to notice quite an increase in posts lately regarding the controversial character and nature of the former Fire Lord, the now imprisoned fallen prince Ozai, and I’ve personally promised in my previous post that I will share my own analysis on him if people asked me to do so (which actually happened), I am here to deliver my own take on this very intriguing man’s character, while also building a potential past for him based on stuff gathered from the show’s cannon.

I would like to start this essay with what I find to be my favorite quote ever: ”Monster’s aren’t born, they are created.” ~ Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto) What I like about this quote soo much and find very inspirational is the truth it holds within its short, yet powerful message. We are often fast to judge a “book by the cover”, to reduce others to what we assume of them by their appearance or latest actions that we’ve seen them do, but never actually take a moment and wonder where they come from, if this person we soo harshly look down upon really has been this way since their very beginning?

I’ve come across many comments on social media related to ATLA, especially on YouTube videos on which people would throw with harsh comments such as “Aang being a coward for choosing to spare the villain just because they saw a dumb baby pic of them” or “Ozai is the essence of evil and even as a baby he’d been a monster”. I can’t help but wonder who hurt these people to make them be so cruel? Like, how messed up must you actually be to say that a baby, a friggin baby, is the embodiment of all evils? Or that a child was a coward for choosing to see his opponent’s last bits of humanity and opted to spare them?

Aang was soo morally conflicted about the idea of killing Ozai not only because it contradicted the morals of his people, but because he himself understood that this man hadn’t always been the cruel beast he came to met in their first and final showdown. It’s important to note here the fact that upon finding that picture, Aang was actually convinced it had to be Zuko as a baby since it looked so innocent and cute and was actually surprised to learn it was Zuko’s father. And that’s the thing, Ozai was born like us all as an innocent and sweet baby. Babies aren’t in any way evil or twisted, they don’t even have the notion of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ defined in their small, still developing minds. In fact, the very choice of the creators to add this picture in the show is meant to tell us this very thing: this man wasn’t always like this. But if he wasn’t always like this, then what happened to make him become this way?

Well, in order to find out the reason, we must go back in time to the very beginning: Ozai’s childhood and upbringing. For this next part I am going to solely focus on the show cannon, as the comics aren’t the products of BryKe and have a lot of inconsistencies to the source’s cannon (you can go and read my other post on why they fail when it comes to Zuko’s character and his family).

From what we know and can easily deduce by ourselves just from their appearances, Ozai and his brother Iroh have a huge age gap between them (somewhere between 10 and 15 years). This has to be our first red flag: isn’t it soo odd that this family opted to have their children at such a long distance between pregnancies? It almost feels as if Ozai hadn’t actually been part of his father’s actual family planning... In other words, he was a ‘mistake’ child (I actually hate having to use this terminology, but it will become relevant to when we expand on Azulon’s relationship with his sons). Sure, some may argue that Azulon actually decided to have two sons in case something were to happen to his first born, but wouldn’t it have been more logical to have his second born at 2-3 years max distance from his first? Why choose to have your second child when you are much older and thus risk having a baby with issues, if your sole purpose of this child is to serve as an insurance that you don’t ‘run out’ of heirs? It just doesn’t make much sense, so let’s go for the moment with the possibility that Ozai was an unplanned pregnancy.

This perspective actually gives way to another very interesting aspect: remember the infamous “Born lucky...Lucky to be born” quote? What if I tell you that there is a possibility that this quote wasn’t Ozai’s personal wicked invention, but actually something he himself heard from his very own father? It had been puzzling me for a long time why he choose to say “You were lucky to be born” to Zuko, which implies that Zuko wasn’t supposed to exist. I mean, it’s soo odd that Ozai went with something implying that Zuko was an unplanned pregnancy, since Zuko was the first born. So my theory is that maybe Ozai wanted to convey a different message to Zuko when he said that quote, but due to his anger he ended up replicating the same line he received from Azulon at some point in his childhood. We never got the exact flashback when the line was delivered from Ozai to Zuko, so we don’t have the exact context that lead to it (remember, we are excluding Yang’s take on the matter from the comics).

I mean, this feels like something that wicked old Azulon would have said to his least favorite child. Okay, so let’s go with the scenario that Ozai was an unwanted child, to which we could also add the possibility that Ilah’s health deteriorated after the first birth, which makes plausible the family’s initial decision of stopping at 1 kid.

Moving on, we know from the old ATLA character wiki’s that Ozai’s character design was made with Zuko in mind, being meant to be a grown up version of Zuzu, without the scar. An interesting choice indeed and even Iroh’s letter to Zuko on Ozai from one of the ATLA books describes Ozzy in a similar way to teenage Zuko in book 1: stubborn, feisty, determined and with a volcanic personality (easy to anger and competitive), so it means that these were intentional choices to imply that Zuko and his father are more similar than we were led to believe at first glance. Maybe Ozai was the “Zuko” of his generation. Also, in one of the interviews on the royal family, BryKe stated that Ozai worked very hard to get where he is in book 3, referring to his firebending specifically (we all know how Ozzy got the throne, so clearly, he didn’t “work hard” for that), so maybe he wasn’t always the strongest man alive, with the most exceptional firebending skills out there, like Azula who showed ease in her learning, but rather someone closer to Zuko’s weaker performance as a child, building his way to success through endless hard work until he became the prodigy we know today.

Continuing with our theoretical scenario, after his birth, the second child show’s lesser skills compared to his brother Iroh (by that I don’t mean that he wasn’t gifted at all, but that maybe Ozai wasn’t as fast and great of a learner like his big bro), so Azulon opts to just ignore him and continue focusing solely on his golden child. In my headcannon I actually think that Ilah survived the birth and so she was left in charge of the younger child’s education and upbringing. At this point Iroh is already 10 or older, so he is forced to focus on his development, which prevents him from spending time with his lil brother, but just for the sake of being positive, let’s assume that Ozai still had both his mother and his big brother to keep him sheltered from Azulon’s darkness for a small portion of his childhood.

I choose to believe that Ozai had his mother’s love for a small bit of his childhood due to his willingness in the show to allow Ursa (who mind you, as the granddaughter of Roku was considered a treacherous individual) to spend a ton of time with both Zuko and Azula and share her philosophy with the children, as seeing his wife playing with their children probably reminded him of his own bitter-sweet memories he had with Ilah. They also probably spent a lot of their time near the turtle-duck pond since that pond’s existence prolly dates long before Ozai and Ursa married and had their own children.

Unfortunately, Ilah dies and little Ozai remains all alone, to be influenced negatively by his father (and even by his grandpa Sozin, we don’t really know for certain when the old man died, so he prolly was there for a short time when Ozzy was still a child). Azulon most likely blames Ozai for his wife’s death as the second birth might’ve really had a huge toll on Ilah’s already fragile body, bringing her closer to death, so he still neglects and ignores the child, if not straight out bullies and abuses him for not being on par with Iroh. This prolly leads to Ozai becoming jealous of his brother since Iroh has their father’s love, pushing them further apart. I headcannon that this jealousy between the siblings led to Ozai complaining to his dad when he finally had too much of their father’s discrimination (at a similar age to when Zuko prolly did and got the infamous line, if not younger) only to get the “Iroh was born lucky, you were lucky to be born!” line with the sole purpose of hurting him since now the child knows that he was never wanted.

When Azulon scolds very furiously adult Ozai in Zuko’s memories for daring to ask to be named crown prince, he literally says something like “What, you dare ask me to betray MY own son?!” (this is like red flag number two), line that pretty much testifies how Azulon chose to pretty much treat Ozai as if he wasn’t his son too, showcasing how much he despised his second born and favored the first child over him. Since we are on the topic of their last conversation, the punishment Azulon gave to his son alone proves this man’s level of sadism, which leads me to be believe that Ozai’s childhood was full of this type of punishments for bad behaviors that could be easily corrected trough a long serious lecture or a lesser punishment focused more on teaching him an actual lesson.

The old wikis also mention on the page about the hall with portraits of the previous Fire Lords that it was the place where Ozai chose to spend most of his time in his youth, seeking advice from his ancestors. I mean, seriously now, if he had a good and supportive father and a present brother in his life, would Ozai had chosen to seek guidance from the dead instead of his living family? That piece of information that was easily overlooked by many proves how lonely this man was in his youth.

So for the most part of his life, Ozai grew up under the toxic influence and abuse of his tyrant father who refused to acknowledge him. Yet he managed to grow up still full of determination to one day prove his worth to Azulon and gain his acceptance (just like we saw with Zuko in book 1, who was desperate to regain his honor and be accepted by his father). But unfortunately, no matter how strong he became or how good of a firebender he was, Azulon was unmoved and unphased by his second son’s performance.

From what we could gather from the little info we received in the show, it seems that Ozai was never sent to the battle field to aid his older brother, being kept as a stay home prince, with the only occasion he actually left home being to search for the Avatar (I don’t think Iroh was sent to do his part on searching the Avatar since he strongly believed that there wasn’t going to ever be one, so it’s safe to assume Azulon assigned Ozai with this mission just to get rid of him for a few years) and the only purpose he ever served to his father was to become part of the old man’s genetics experiment in order to create strong unparalleled firebending offspring (which I am pretty sure were meant to be ‘biological war machines’ used by Azulon in the war, as he didn’t really seem to give a shit about Ozai’s children compared to Lu Ten). So just imagine the level of disappointment and dishonor Ozai must’ve felt as a man and young aspiring soldier to find out that he was going to be used like a ‘non-bending daughter’ in a strategical marriage and never get to serve his country in what he’d been taught was the greatest and most important war for their Nation.

All in all, this marriage didn’t really end up that badly because it seems he and Ursa were actually very compatible. The old wiki for Ursa states that she was a noble woman and the perfect match for Ozai, which leads me to believe that show Ursa was intended to be a very strong willed and determined woman who earned his respect. The show never stated that Ozai never wanted his first born or that he was disappointed with Zuko from birth like the comics say, so it’s safe to assume that Ursa and Ozai actually ended up falling in love at some point since they had not one, but two kids with relatively a short time in between pregnancies.

There are actually many signs in the show that actually prove that these two loved each other and Ozai didn’t abuse his wife: from the fact that they went every year to see Ursa’s favorite play despite Ozai hating the poor performance of the Ember Island Players (I mean, what man would do such a sacrifice as to endure the same torture every single year just to make his wife happy if he never loved her?), Ursa’s undeniable and sincere love for their children (in the show it was never stated that Ursa saw Zuko and Azula as someone else’s children, so if she were indeed an abused woman who was forced to have these children, she wouldn’t have ever loved them to such an extent, especially Zuko who resembled his father the most physically), the fact that Ursa had equal rights in their marriage and raising of their children (her even scolding and grounding Ozai’s favorite child without hesitation), to the most significant scene to the Urzai ship in Zuko’s flashbacks: Ozai sitting troubled all alone in Ursa’s favorite spot by the pond, in a sad and brooding atmosphere, after he lost her, instead of celebrating what had to be the happiest day of his life since he was finally crowned Fire Lord (it’s clear who had more importance in his heart: Ursa meant more to him than the throne, so losing her outshined his achievement). In fact, Ursa must’ve been the only thing that still kept him outside of the darkness that threatened to swallow his heart and once he lost her, Ozai had nothing else to keep him on the right path.

And even as a father, it seems that Ozai wasn’t always cold and distant to his children, as his true self depicted in Zuko’s memories on Ember Island shows him caring for both of his children, even holding Zuko close to him with a protective arm on the boy’s shoulder. Except the Agni Kai, there don’t seem to be any instances in which he was physically violent towards his son before the banishment (Iroh literally let Zuko in to join that faithful war meeting willingly. Would’ve he done that if he knew his brother to be very violent towards his children in case they disobeyed? If yes, then it would make Iroh actually very questionable on a moral standpoint) and even on an emotional level, I don’t really think that he was actually abusive to him (at least while Ursa was there) because from Zuko’s conversation with Zhao, he’s adamant that his father will take him back and even states "You don't know how my father feels about me. You don't know anything!", meaning that the father he used to know showed him a level of respect and genuine affection (if Ozai were to bully Zuko since the boy’s very early childhood, do you think this kid would grow up to be so sure that his father wants him around and would he defend this bully when someone badmouths them in front of him?).

Even with Azula, despite people demonizing her from early childhood and saying that she was manipulated since birth by Ozai to become a war machine, I do believe that she shows genuine love and affection towards her father. I do choose to believe that back in the good times when the family was happy, Ozai spent quality time with his daughter, filling in the gap left by Ursa’s neglect. I theorize that the reason why kid Azula badmouthed her grandpa and uncle was because she was being very protective of her father: since she used to like spying and eavesdropping, it’s safe to assume that she prolly witnessed many instances in which the old man bullied or insulted Ozai, favoring Iroh over him. It’s a bit harder to see it that way since her snarky comments involve dark topics, but since they live in a society governed by power and war, I see them as something similar to if Azula would’ve said “Uncle sucks and he will surely be fired from his job!” or “Grandpa is old and weak, he should leave the family business to dad!”. Even the fact that the only thing capable of shattering her to pieces was her father leaving her proves how much she cared for him. Ty Lee and Mai’s betrayal was a big blow on Azula’s control and sanity, but she didn’t breakdown until Ozai discarded her after his coronation as Phoenix King. There’s nothing more painful in this world than to be left behind by the person you loved the most and was there by your side your whole life, whom you wanted to follow to world’s end and back. That was the moment Azula finally realized that the father she used to know and love was actually gone and had been in fact, long gone for years at this point.

But if Ozai cared for his family what made him change? Easy, it all comes back to the fact that his father never acknowledged him. The throne doesn’t seem to be his ultimate goal in life since Ozai discarded of the Fire Lord title very easily, tossing it to Azula without any remorse or hesitation. It was more about the meaning behind getting the crown: replacing Iroh in the line of succession was the ultimate proof of his father’s acceptance, that he wasn’t only a “mistake” and “failure” in his father’s eyes, but since Azulon ended up saying and doing what he did, backfired Ozai and made him understand that no matter how hard he tried, the old man will never see him for what he is. So yeah, for a proud man like Ozai this was a hard defeat to swallow, which in turn sparked his strong desire of winning the war and becoming the king of the world: if Azulon wouldn’t accept him even in death, then Ozai will prove to the whole world that he was above his father and his “perfect” brother by accomplishing what they never could and even better and no one was going to stop him, not even his own family.

This is what differentiates Ozai from Zuko: while both had similar upbringings, Ozai never broke away from his obsession of gaining his father’s admiration, allowing himself to fall prey to the darkness left by Azulon in his heart and abandon his true self, only to become the copy of his abuser, while Zuko stood up to his dad and chose his own destiny. If Aang were to come back around 20 or 30 years earlier, then he might’ve actually been able to save Ozai just like he saved Zuko, but unfortunately it wasn’t this way.

Do I think that Ozai could still be saved and redeemed even after the events of book 3? Definitely! Since he’s actually a broken man and still has a tiny bit of humanity left within, I think he still has a chance to change his heart. The only thing is that it’d be a long lasting process: first off he needs to spend a long time in solitude and reflect on his life’s choices and his past, understand where he went wrong and that what happened to him in his childhood is called abuse, which he ended up replicating on his own children. After he understands his wrongdoings and becomes willing to rediscover his true self, he needs to understand the truth about the war, that everything he’d known was fake propaganda and that there was nothing glorious in what he, his father and Sozin did under the excuse of “sharing their Nation’s greatness with the rest of the world!”. But most importantly of all, the only remedy that could possibly save him is love. It sound cliche, but by responding to hatred with more hate like Zuko did in the comics would never change the world “for the better” or bring it “to reality”. The only way to save both Azula and Ozai would be trough showing them the power of love, hope and empathy, how they don’t have to struggle alone and push everyone away. And especially by redeeming Azula, she would be a very important piece in Ozai’s redemption: since he had a closer parent-child relationship with Azula and cared for her the most when he did care, realizing how much he made her suffer through his actions, that would probably break Ozai enough to make him admit that he was wrong all along.

So yeah, this is my analysis on Ozai’s character using the cannon information from the show and old wikis and why I think he is just the product of a very bad environment and an abusive parent who never showed him love (if there’s a reason for why Ozai might be uncapable of showing a healthy parental love to his children is because you can’t show what you’ve never learnt yourself), being the Zuko of his generation who never got to experience the positive influence of an “Uncle Iroh” to guide him on the right path.

You can agree with me or not on this one, but this is what I choose to believe. Maybe I am way too good by choosing to see any potential good in anyone, but I feel it’s a better way than to counter hate with more hate like Yang did in his monstrous portrayal of Ozai in The Search.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments and if you agree with anything I’ve said, feel free to leave a like and to reblog this post.

See you next time and stay safe! Bye-Bye!

Saby out.

#atla #atla rant #avatar the last airbender #ozai #azulon #ursa #zuko #azula

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fearlessmayee · 3 years ago

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Top ten AFHF documentary moments, go!

Thank you for asking sea, but you've really put me in a dilemma, how the f am I supposed to choose 10? All of it was my favorite, he shined like the sun throughout the entire thing.

1. We got to see him in his element, him being nervous and excited just anticipating to share his passion with us. Can you imagine him thinking wishing to run away, and yet, staying put, squaring his shoulders and facing it head on. Hoping to give up, yet hoping against hope to do it again, even if it's just one more time.

“I hate this feeling [before going onstage]. Helene always said to me, that's a choice is it nerves or is excitement? It’s the same. Only now I look in the moment I feel it, but I look at it differently. […] I always have this feeling before in my mind where I’m thinking ‘if I could run away, I would’ but now I’m thinking ‘just get me out there!’ ”

2. You can see, that he is so far away from his ''image'' of One direction, yet the same teenage boy having this unattainable dream of being a singer, and that lad from donny. Expectedly, yes, he has grown and changed throughout the years, but his fundamentals and core remain the same.

“You know coming from a situation like One Direction it was never gonna be a walk in the park becoming a solo artist. I’ve had shit to deal with.“

2. BRUH, Vulnerability? from a white male? In his 20s and 30s?Who's an reputed artist? Who's a millionaire? I-? This line was just so true, and raw, and REAL.

“When everyday is the same, it’s hard to feel creative and its hard to get any kind of inspiration”

3. This sentence to me represented acceptance of struggles, usually a strong personality would rather not acknowledge his/her/their struggles. They'd rather be seen as someone who can do this in their sleep instead of saying, that yes my life is hard sometimes.

“Too many times in my career have I had to pick myself up and go ‘right let’s go again’ ”

4. Efforts, the sheer efforts. When you're at the level that you are, you happen to start putting significantly lot less effort in your work. Instead here's this baby, who is working even more hard, putting in extra energy, time, and assets into honing his craft. A true dedicated artist.

“I put in a lot of work with Helene over Zoom as well because of that I don’t think I’ve ever been that excited over a gig and I finally feel like I’m gonna get out there and not just enjoy it for fucking just bathe in it. Love it.“

5. Right, an artist who values his fanbase instead of taking them for granted and only using them for their money? you're kidding! An artist, who regularly emphasizes the importance of his fans, and never forgets to thanks them? Right, you're dreaming! An artist who meticulously plans a free festival for his fans? You're delusional

“Just the togetherness. That’s what makes me feel like I can take on the world. Because with that lot behind me, who’s gonna fucking stop us?”

6. Helene. That relationship - its closeness and intensity -- really surprised me. You can tell that they share a deep meaningful emotional bond. She's a mentor for him in every way and its clear she loves him as much as he loves her. A pretty rare sight, in between people who don't give really seem to give a fuck about him. There's a mother/son vibe there and he seems to trust her as completely as she admires him. Tbh, Helene I cried too.

“I trust Helene implicitly. She can tell me after I smashed it and I’m trying to read between the lines. Today, today she was fucking crying man.”

7. The moments the band were given to really what they can do, jamming out (including the strings going for it too.) Steve is phenomenal as is Michael, but they're all incredible frankly. The band was so cool, I'd also like to mention the other artists and people who's work The production design, the set design, the lighting, the sounds. Everyone except the marketing and advertising department, should clap themselves for a job well done.

8. Charlie. How well he gets Louis. How loyal he is to Louis, how much he appreciates who he is and what he can do. And how extraordinarily skilled he is at what he does himself. In fact this demonstrate just how good Louis is at finding people whore superb at what they do. He did his job phenomenally, exceptionally.

9. The fans as shown through the lens, which might be a substitute for through Louis eyes. Their love, their pride and delight came across so clearly .I loved that all the rainbow flags were given the spotlight - instead of being skimmed over, Only the Brave was a true moment. Similarly Two of Us, was a real moment, the fans knowing how much the song it meant for him, and understanding its value and being respectful about it. How they seemed shell-shocked and speechless during changes.

10. Maybe most of all, the reckless, fun, fuck it all style of the celebration shots moment and the band euphoric celebratory hug, showing their bond and relationship clearly. I absolutely loved those moments in the film because they were so Louis. He may be the leader but he's also a literal kid, a partner in crime some might say, pure unpredictable fun.

Watching the AFHF documentary, I feel every emotion that Louis went through and I know that we all are felt them together. He was just so happy and confident during the concert. A God on the stage. Anyone who has doubts Louis performance abilities, I urge you to watch 5 minutes of this. The immensity and intimacy are like nothing I’ve experienced with any other artist.

He is a real person, instead of some carefully crafted media persona; he is genuine artist, instead of any fake popstar wannabe; has real talent, instead of pretending to be talented; he is humble and kind, instead of someone advocating to be humble and kind, he is gold, instead of being glitter, and he is the SUN, instead of the moon who leaches of off someone else's light.

His character and personality was really visible. This was better than any interview, any promo, anything we could have hoped for. His standards are so very high, and he’s truly harder on himself than anyone else around him. I've no idea how he doesn't drown in the pressure and instead finds a way to break the expectations. Truly, As many have already commented, Louis always delivers, because what he gives is from his incredible intelligence and his big heart.

The reason it was fucking unbelievable was yes, ’cause I played me music and I sang some shit, but more importantly that we all are in the same room with the same idea, the same intention, the same feeling... And that, more than anything, is what I’ve come away from these situations feeling just this togetherness, and that is what makes me feel like I can take on the fucking world.

#asks #answered asks #sea #louis tomlinson #awfh festival #awfh documentary

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t-lostinworlds · 5 years ago

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Extra (Tom Holland)

A/N: What is this? I have finished something? Me?? posting?? A FIC? WHAT? Is the world actually ending!?!? I think I’m funny but I’m not, clearly. Glad to be out of my writing rot tho aha. Hope you guys like this one!

Pairing: Tom Holland x Singer!Reader

Summary: You get a sweet but very extra surprise on your birthday nearing the end of your show.

Warnings: Fluff and my usual typos

Word Count: 5.5k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

The sound of your phone just going off uncontrollably was what woke you up, and you were completely sure that it wasn't your alarm.

You squint your eyes at the bright glare of the screen, a huge contrast to your still dim hotel room. You literally had just woken up hence why the curtains aren't open yet, it's still a bit too early after all.

Flicking the ringer on silent, birthday greetings and messages from friends and families were still flooding through, your phone now vibrating instead of your loud ringtone, giving your ears a break.

As you read through and responded to all of them, you couldn't help but feel a little down after you realized you haven't seen his name yet.

Of course you feel grateful for all the sweet messages everyone has sent you, your heart is melting from all the love. But there's that slight disheartened feeling that you can't seem to shake, slight worry that your boyfriend might have forgotten about your birthday.

You haven't heard from Tom since yesterday morning, which now makes it almost a full day. After he texted you that he was going to be doing a lot of stunts and is probably going to be super busy, he then just disappeared, not even slipping in a text good night. You did let it pass though, because he might have been quite knackered after the shoot.

Message to Tom: Good morning bub <3 Just checking up on you since you haven't read or replied to any of my messages at all. Hope you're okay and haven't injured yourself Thomas. I really miss you a lot and I love you loads x

Your frown could only deepen as you hit send, still no response nor any sign that he's got your messages whatsoever.

Normally, it wouldn't really be a big deal but the last you've seen him in person was three months ago. He was busy shooting the third installment of Spider-Man all while doing a few projects on the side. And you, well, you're touring around the world.

You could be patient and blame it on the time difference why he hasn't greeted yet, but he's just behind a couple hours. Tom has made it a habit of always greeting you at midnight no matter what and where, he's just cliché like that, and it was definitely passed midnight in New York.

God, you sound so much like a whiny and ungrateful brat, but you can't help it, you just miss him so much.

Maybe you've gotten so used to always spending your birthdays with him so the first time that you're celebrating it from different parts of the globe, it does makes you sad.

You did try to make ends meet, but a week before today, he's brought you the news that he can't fly out due to conflicting schedules with some of the actors he's working with, and that it's critical that he's there on the day. To be the leading role of a gigantic movie, asking a few days off is never that simple.

On the other hand, you have a show today and tomorrow, so flying to him isn't exactly ideal either. You understand of course, you are sort of in the same line of work, but still, it doesn't make you feel any less gloomy.

With one big stretch, you placed your phone back on your side table as you slowly got out of bed, opting to go and take a shower to then head down and meet the crew for breakfast.

Maybe you'll hear from him later in the day.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon and still not a single word from Tom.

You were growing worried because it was so unlike him to be very cut off and silent.

Did he lose his phone?

You tried to contact Harry—who's with Tom currently—but he too wasn't responding. Everything was just off and odd altogether, the tiny pit in your stomach only growing bigger the more you worry and think about where your man is.

"Have you heard from Tom?" You asked with furrowed brows the moment Molly, your manager approached you on stage. Your hand found its way to fish your phone out of your pocket to check it for the umpteenth time, but still, no sign of him.

You were finishing up your final soundcheck before you were off to a mini get-together—snacks and drinks included—with some of your fans. It was your alternative to a meet and greet because you'd rather hang out and have real conversations with them than the whole quick snap and go.

She shook her head at you all confused, a slight glimmer in her eyes that you didn't quite catch. "Uh no, why?"

You sighed. Tom doesn't really contact your manager unless its important matters, so you don't even know why you're asking, maybe you've just grown desperate to hear even the smallest thing from him, just anything. "Never mind. Is it time?"

"Yeah, they're all waiting for you."

You simply nodded as you followed her off stage, handing the guitar over to your guy on the way.

Walking through the hallway, you kept your head down, eyes glued to your phone as you respond to more messages from people, but also checking if Tom has come back from ghost town.

You were aimlessly following Molly to wherever room or space they set up the get-together in, just watching her shoes and never looking up from your device. That, until you heard a few shuffling of rushed feet and a door being slammed shut.

"What was that? And what's in here?" You asked, eyes now trained on a door of what looks like another dressing room. Molly continued walking, so you kept following but with your gaze still glued to the door, curios as to what's going on inside because you definitely can hear a bit of ruckus.

"Oh just the staff, that's one of their rooms." She answered casually, not even bothering to give you or the room a glance.

"Is it weird if I just go inside and say thank you? Would that be too... intrusive?" You pondered, halting in your tracks as you contemplated on knocking. You just wanted to extend your gratitude for all their hard work, but you aren't sure if they were comfortable with you suddenly just strolling in.

"It's not weird at all hun, but you've got a schedule." She smiled at you sweetly, nodding her head towards the direction of the get-together.

"Oh right, yeah, let's go."

You gave the door one last look before turning on your heel to follow Molly once again, up until you reached another space covered in curtains. And the moment your bodyguard pulled it open, wide smiles on faces greeted you as they all sang in tune.

"Happy birthday to you!"

You laughed as you shyly shook your head at them. Warmth coated your whole body in an instant as love and pure adoration radiated off of the space, off of your fans.

You did as much as wave your fingers in the air as they sang, serving as a conductor because for the number of years you've been on this earth, you still have no idea what to do when people sing the birthday song to you.

* * *

"I can't thank you guys enough for being here with me tonight. You guys have been so incredible, you always are." You breathed out as your voice echoed throughout the whole arena. You looked at the thousands of people who came tonight to see you perform with a proud grin, their energy never wavering as they sing your songs back to you from each melody to lyric.

Adrenaline was pumping through your veins as you tried to catch your breath, taking the water bottle off of the floor and lifting it up to your lips to have a quick drink.

"Now, give me everything you've got for this last song alright?" You spoke into the mic once you've rehydrated.

"Wait, wait. Don't you guys agree that Y/N is killing it tonight?" Your pianist, Sara, interrupts, the crowd cheering in agreement at her input. "And judging by today's occasion, I think we all owe her a little song." She added, earning a hearty laugh from you as you brought the mic back to your lips.

"You guys don't have to—"

"Happy birthday to you!"

The song was played no matter your protest, Sara leading the crowd as she plays the tune on her keys, the rest of the band following suit.

Your laugh bounced off the walls as you stood there in complete awe. It was a beautiful sight to see, the crowd all singing in unison, lights up in the air as they pour all their heart to the simple yet special song. The song still filling you up with joy and warmth despite having heard it countless of times for the whole day, and the fact that all these people were there for you? It was definitely the icing on the cake.

"Thank you so much you lovely people, y'all are making me emotional. And they say the best way to spend your birthdays is with the people you love and the ones who love you, and they were absolutely right. I'm so blessed to have you guys tonight, because I do love you all very much." You stated fondly the moment they finished with a loud cheer, a hand placed right atop your heart as you feel it grow ten times its size.

"Y/N, we've got another something for you." Sara spoke before you could even get another word out, hand gesturing towards the large screen right behind you.

"Oh god, is this mission make Y/N ugly cry today?" You laughed, turning around just in time too see the tour artwork turning pitch black to then be replaced by a huge countdown.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

The crowd roared in delight as Mr. Niall Horan joined with Lewis Capaldi appeared on screen, large pints of Guinness on hand with their arms around each other as they give you their birthday greeting.

"Happy birthday Y/N! But since we're halfway across the world, we'll be there with you in spirit. Also, Lewis and I decided to celebrate anyway so cheers to you and have an amazing day." Niall chuckled as he lifted his beer up. "I'll make sure to have a good drink for you Y/N! We miss ya and we love ya!" Lewis added with a cheeky grin, and you couldn't help but shake your head at the two with a big smile of your own.

You've worked with them both on a few songs, and both were the funniest yet sweetest gentlemen you've met in the industry, especially when you put the two together.

Both of them emptied their glasses as they bid their goodbyes, Niall's loud laugh echoing throughout the arena when Lewis spilled before they disappeared on screen.

The crowd went even louder once Shawn Mendes' pretty face appeared on it next, sporting his usual bright smile as he gave you his short but sweet greeting. "Happy birthday Y/N! Wishing you all the best in life since you deserve all of it! Can't wait to work with you again soon! Have fun on your birthday honey!"

You shook your head in disbelief. An amused smile was plastered on your face, still unable to fathom that a few years ago you were a huge fan of him. And now you can say you've worked with him, even call him a friend. Funny, how the universe works.

Alessia Cara came up next with a smile, wide and bright, you're heart melting to see one of your greatest and closest friends. She's just a pure and kindhearted soul, a rare beauty. "Hey there you lovely and amazing woman! Happy birthday! I miss hanging out with you a lot but I shall see you soon! Keep conquering the world Y/N! I am so proud of how far you've come and you deserve every bit of success that comes your way. Again happy birthday! Have an amazing one and I love you!" She blew you a sweet kiss and waved you goodbye, tears already brimming in your eyes at all the love and appreciation thrown your way.

Next were Zendaya and Jacob Batalon, who you've grown close with through no other person than Tom. Both were clearly on set sitting on directors' chair in their characters' outfits. Both looked a little tired but they still greeted you with wide smiles nonetheless.

"Happy birthday Y/N!" They screamed in unison. "We wished we could be there with you to celebrate your birthday but you already know how these things go." Z pouted, Jacob copying her as well and you couldn't help but giggle. "But soon when we get a break we will catch up and celebrate your birthday." Jacob added with a knowing grin. "Anyway! Duty calls so enjoy your birthday and have great one! We love you!"

Then friends and family came up on screen, ones who you've missed most having been away from them for so long and that's when you felt your heart ache a little. Happy tears were brimming in your eyes as each of them shared their lovely messages, saying how proud they are for how far you've come. And when those words come from the people who you truly care about, it means the absolute world.

The next person to share their video message didn't help with the tears either, a hushed sob escaping your lips the moment you saw his familiar face.

The crowd behind you screamed at the top of their lungs the moment Thomas Stanley Holland appeared on screen, handsome face sporting that sweet and charming smile as he sat in his trailer wearing his Spider-Man suit.

"Hello darling. My love, I'm so gutted that I'm not there so celebrate your birthday with you. If I could teleport myself by your side right now, I would in a heartbeat, but anyway, happy birthday sweetheart!" Tom exclaimed joyfully, grin all beaming and you couldn't help but miss him even more.

"Oh, where do I start? Well, I can start by saying how proud I am of you, so so proud of the gorgeous, powerful, strong and successful woman that you've grown to become. You've worked so hard to get where you are today and it fills me with so much happiness knowing that you're out there traveling the world and doing what you love the most." The crowd cooed at Tom's sweet words, your heart was already melting at the seams as more tears threaten to spill, and he wasn't even done yet.

"You deserve the whole world if not more with how kindhearted and compassionate you are. And gosh you make me feel so happy and loved. I feel so lucky to have someone like you in my life, I can't even begin to describe to you exactly how much, and if I tried? Then we'd be here for hours on end. And lastly—because I'm being called to set right now, if I wasn't I'd be talking about how amazing you are some more—I am truly, madly and deeply in love with you Y/N. You are my world and I hope I make you feel loved every single day, because you truly deserved to be."

"Tom they're waiting for you."

"Yeah, just one more minute." Tom calls out to someone off shot before his eyes landed back on the camera, staring straight at you through the screen with a guilty smile. Guilty because it pains him that he's not there with you. "I love you dearly, and I miss you so much. I'll make it up to you I promise. Once again, happy birthday to my beautiful girl and I shall see you soo—"

All of a sudden the screen went static, Tom's words being cut off as you heard nothing but white noise. Then everything just went black, the whole arena dark as the night as gasps of surprise and screams of panic echoed throughout its walls.

Tell everyone to stay calm Y/N, we're fixing things up.

Your sound guy spoke in your in-ear. You nodded despite the fact that they probably can't see you due to the darkness. Turning back around to the audience, you spoke into the mic. "I'm sorry guys, just technical difficulties. Just stay in your seats in be calm, the lights should be back on in a minute."

And as if on cue, the crowd screamed as the power turned back on. However, after a few seconds, they turned unusually rowdy, too rowdy for it to be only that reason. Slowly you got the feeling it wasn't only because of that, judging by the volume and power of their cheer, and by a few fans pointing at the stage as if they're seeing something you aren't.

For a split second, you met eyes with Molly who was right by the side of the stage. She had that all-knowing grin on her face as she pointed towards something behind you.

Confused, you turned around, jumping in sheer shock when you were met by a hanging, upside-down person dressed in a red and black Lycra suit, face all covered with a mask making the identity of the person pretty much unknown.

Your heart beat quickened as you stumbled back on your feet at the sight of the person, your brain registering it back to a specific boy—one who you saw on screen minutes ago wearing the exact same outfit—even if there was no confirmation as their face wasn't even shown. Your whole body was trembling from surprise, excitement but also worry that it might not be who you think it is under that mask.

Emotions were all over the place as you stared right at upside-down, masked-face of Spider-Man who held a birthday cupcake in hand.

"No, no, stop, please, is this a prank?" You croaked out, shaking your head as tears started to escape your eyes, question a must because you're having a really hard time believing what you're seeing.

It's been a long day, you just really wanted to make sure that what's happening is real and not just a figment of your imagination. You had to make sure that it wasn't the desperation of you missing your boyfriend painting pictures in your head. Not only that, but to really be sure that it's actually him under that mask.

"Guys! Don't even play! Please don't get my hopes up. That's a stunt double right?" You asked into the mic as you looked at your band and the rest of the crew for answers, who gave you nothing but wide smiles. You just feel like it would be too good to be true, and you really don't want to face disappointment if it wasn't him.

On the other hand, out of all the things they could have done to prank you, why would they choose this? It's a bit cruel to prank someone on their birthday now doesn't it? Especially when it involves playing with their emotions?

Unless, it's not a prank at all and you're getting way too ahead of yourself.

Mr. Spider-Man beckons you over, finger pointing at your hand to which you held the mic. With tears already clouding your vision, you moved closer slowly.

Reaching a close enough proximity, you had one hand over your mouth to silence your whimpers as the other lifted the microphone up to where Spider-Man's mouth is supposed to be. And the moment he spoke, you've lost any sense of control over your emotions or your sanity, his voice just too familiar for it to be someone else's.

"Why don't you take off the mask and find out yourself darling?"

You shook your head at the upside down boy as joyful tears streamed down your face, shaking hands lifting up to hook your fingers on the edge of the mask, pulling it down and removing it fully to reveal the face of the man you love.

"You sneaky bastard." You laughed tearfully, Tom only grinning at you all proud, his face now turning redder as the seconds pass by, being upside-down and all.

"Happy birthday sweetheart." He chuckled, offering you the cupcake, which you took gladly, balancing it with the mic on your hand. You were unable to form any more words as you stared at Tom, still unable to believe that it's actually him, and that he's here, in the flesh.

The crowd started to chant the word "kiss" over and over, making you throw your head back in pure laughter.

"We should do the kiss." Tom wriggled his eyes brows at you, mischievous smirk in play and you couldn't stop your eyes from rolling at your boy. But still, you gave in anyway as you cupped his face softly, your heart skipping a beat at the feeling of his warm skin against your palm.

You brushed the tip of your nose with his with a hum, moving closer until there was no space between you two as you captured his lips in yours, all while trying to manage the whole upside-down situation.

Tom sighed in pure satisfaction to finally feel your lips on his after months of being deprived from it, your touch making him feel like he's floating, which says a lot given the fact that he was already hanging mid-air all while being upside-down.

The kiss didn't last long though, too many prying for you two to cherish the moment. The crowd, on the other hand, cheered in amusement at the extremely cliché but sweet gesture, you and Tom giggling between the kiss at the loud support.

"Okay, I'm actually getting dizzy now." Tom laughed once you pulled away, hand gesturing for you to move just a little bit farther, and when you did, he flipped himself right-side-up with ease. A few guys then rushed on stage to help him with the wires, and once they were off, Tom turned to you with a sweet smile, face coated with wholesome contentment to finally see you in person again.

"You're actually here." You whimpered, fresh tears wetting your cheeks some more once he stood right in front of you.

"Aww darling, come here." Tom cooed with a soft chuckle, arms wrapping around your frame as he held you close to his chest, pressing a sweet kiss on top of your head. You couldn't contain your sobs as you buried your face on the crook of his neck, the smell of his perfume filling you up quickly and it only made your grip around him tighten.

You just miss him so damn much, and to actually have him here on your birthday, to be holding him so close after months, it was making every fiber of your being emotional.

"I haven't missed your birthday, not a single one, ever. Why would I start now?" He whispered against your hair, swaying you from side to side in a comforting manner, a soft sigh coming out of you as you felt your heart grow with even more love for this man.

"I still haven't decided if I hate you or love you for doing this." You giggled with tiny sniffles, pulling away to get a proper look at his handsome face, the face that you'll always be glad to see. Hate because he almost gave you a heart attack and for making you worry about him for being gone for a day, and love because, well, he's here now isn't he?

Tom only shot you a wink. "I'll tell you all about it later." He says, hand reaching down to take the microphone from you.

"Hey everyone, I'm Spider-Man." The crowd roared at that, Tom laughing in pure glee, all proud of his choice of words as he slings his arm over your shoulder and pulled you to his side. "I just want to thank you guys for supporting this amazing woman right here. I've been watching the show from the very start and you guys have been incredible."

Tom turned to look at you lovingly, smile coated with delight and adoration, voice layered with nothing but certainty. "I love this woman a lot, so thank you for making her dreams come true and for making her happy."

With just that, you were able to conjure even more tears as you looked at Tom all adoringly with a small pout. The boy stared at you with just as much love, cooing at your reaction as he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead.

How have you managed to get so lucky?

"Right, I'm done crashing your show so take it away my love." Tom finished as he handed the microphone back to you. Giving you one last warm squeeze and a peck on the lips to match, Tom was then waving goodbye to the audience and disappearing side-stage to watch the rest of the show.

Taking in deep long breaths, you turned to the audience with a laugh. "Okay, wow. Mission Ugly Cry is a success then. I haven't see him in months okay I couldn't help the tears."

"I wasn't expecting that at all as you can probably tell by my reaction. How am I supposed to top that now?" You rubbed your temple in feign worry, the audience cheering you in mere support.

You were still sniffling from all the crying along with your throat being little dry. And you were thankful for waterproof mascara otherwise you would've looked even more horrifying.

"God I'm such a mess, can I have some tissues please?" You asked, looking around the crew for help as you attempted to wipe off the tears with your fingers.

Instead of the staff, Tom ran back out with a box of tissues and a bottle of water in hand, making you shake your head in utter hilarity at how corny he is. You couldn't hold back your laughter when he handed you the box of tissues, pulled a couple pieces and held his fingers under your chin as he wiped your tears for you, all gingerly as if he was retouching your make up. After that, he opened up the water bottle to help you drink, then fixed your hair up jokingly and squeezed your nose playfully right after.

Once he was done with, he gave you a chaste kiss on the cheek, waving one last time at the crowd before returning back to side-stage.

"My new assistant everyone." You joked, keeping your eyes on your boyfriend with a grin you can't seem to wipe off. Tom mirrored your expression as he gave you two thumbs up in support for the last song, and with that you turned back to the crowd with a deep, satisfied sigh.

"Right, let's go out on a high note."

* * *

"Absolutely killed it." Tom praised, engulfing you in a warm embrace the moment you got off stage, a soft thank you coming out of you as you squeezed him back.

On your way back to your dressing room, You kept each other close, his arm slung over your shoulder with yours around his waist as you walked through the hallway.

"I'm not leaving your side by the way. I missed you too damn much and I'm not going to waste any second by being a little far from you." Tom shot you his best puppy dog eyes combined with a cute pout, a sweet giggle escaping your lips that made Tom's heart melt ten times over. "Well, I'm not complaining."

It wasn't that long of a walk from the stage to your dressing room but you had time to kill, so you turned to look at your man with a curios glint in your eyes.

"Tell me how you've managed to pull off this extremely over-the-top surprise? I mean, you could've just showed up in my dressing room and I would've cried just as much." You pointed out. Not that you didn't like what he did, you loved what just happened, every second of it, but you cannot deny that what he did was as extra and cliché as one can be.

Tom shrugged with a chuckle, "I know. But I wanted it to be special, you deserve nothing but. And you've got to admit, dangling upside-down in the middle of the stage during your show, all while dressed as Spider-Man is pretty impressive. Plus, we did the kiss. I'd say it's an amazing birthday surprise."

"It is amazing. I just happen to forget how extra you are sometimes." You teased. "I am, but you love me for it." Tom retorted back with a smirk, causing you to roll your eyes with soft laugh.

"Yeah, I do. Thank you so much bub, you always make my birthdays memorable." You sighed, wrapping both your arms around him with a smile full of gratitude. Tom planted another kiss on your forehead, a bright smile on his lips to match yours as he hummed. "Anything for my angel."

"Now, details Holland."

"Right, managed to pull some strings a a week ago and was able to ask few days off, so the whole conflicting schedule wasn't entirely a lie but it wasn't as serious as I made it out to be. Flew out last night right after the shoot. I couldn't handle just lying to you which is why I didn't respond to any of your messages in case I slip up. I'm sorry about that love."

"And then out of nowhere I thought how awesome it would be to pop up as Spider-Man in the middle of your show and do the famous kiss, so I asked Marvel a favor and thank goodness they let me borrow the suit. Called Molly to tell her about my plan, she helped quite a lot. Arrived here earlier this morning, did a test run with the wires and all that while you were still back at the hotel. Changed into the suit to then wait for the time. Oh! And if you actually looked up from your phone earlier down the hall on your way to your get-together, the whole surprise would've been ruined."

You gasped as you smacked his chest lightly. "That was you! I knew something was up." You felt really played, knowing you could've seen him if you did as much as peek up from your phone. But then again, it would've ruined the whole thing, and you really don't want to change anything that has happened today, so you're glad you didn't.

Tom could only laugh at your reaction, giving your pout a sweet peck before continuing. "The video messages were planned a long, long time ago but we made a few edits at the end of my bit to make it dramatic and here we are now."

And just as he said those last words, both of you now stood in front of the door of your dressing room. If there's one thing you always tend to be surprised about Tom, it's his impeccable timing.

"You are something else Thomas." You gushed, referring to today's escapade and just in general. You really are so lucky to have someone like him in your life, so thoughtful, caring, kind and just all around amazing.

You don't really know what came over you but the moment he opened the door to your dressing room and are your way inside, just knowing that you two were finally alone, you grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him down, crashing your lips on his as you pushed him back against the door, closing it shut in the process.

Tom chuckled lowly at the sudden change in mood, hands taking home on your waist as he relished the taste of your lips, one he's missed so bad.

The thick fabric of his suit was starting to irritate him for he just wants to feel your skin on his fingertips, especially after so long of not having to touch you. It got on Tom's nerves even more when he felt it grow even tighter than it already is.

And when you started to nibble on his bottom lip as your hands inched down his body slowly, Tom groaned, pushing you away gently, just for a little room to breathe. "Darling, it's very uncomfortable, borderline painful when I get hard in this suit, you know that." He grumbled, brown eyes a shade darker as his grip on your waist tightened.

You giggled, recalling all the times you've teased him whenever you came to visit him on set. "Hmm, let's get you out of it and go back to the hotel then."

Tom's bottom lip got caught between his teeth at your suggestion, your insides churning as he looked at you lustfully, a deep rumble erupting from his chest when he said,

"We definitely should. After all, this isn't the only surprise I have in store for you sweetheart."

-:-:-:-:-

Like & Reblog if you enjoyed and let me know what you think! <3

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badlydrawnmanic · 3 years ago

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you’ve all wanted it, and i’m not ready to go to sleep yet, so here’s the latest installment of the sonic underground rewatch!

episode 6 thoughts under the cut!

• unrelated to the episode but there was some lego ninjago commercial that showed like. non-lego versions of the main characters and it looked nice. don’t know if it was for a show or the website idk i wasn’t paying attention • [GUITAR RIFF] SONIC- • i will literally never get tired of the opening theme and you can’t change my mind, i would die for a remaster of this. it doesn’t even have to be a cover. gimme a live performance and i will cry • “tangled webs”. spider concerns already • ooh, swatbot factory. interesting • manic just slid down a little rocky hill on his ass and that’s gotta hurt • sonia stop shining that laser pointer in manic’s eyes you’re gonna kill him • “switch six, switch six...” reminded me of the fun fact that your brain can only identify numbers up to a maximum of 4 or 5 at a glance, i forget which. but like... notice how if you only look at something very briefly you wouldn’t be able to immediately know “oh there’s 27 objects there” but you can very quickly identify 1-4 • sonia stop hitting manic with the drone what is wrong with you • some of these background characters are passable and some of them are hideous, there’s no in-between

• oh it’s the lion boy!! his voice is weird but it’s him!! • god dingo’s face is all kinds of fucked up in this close up as he’s talking • why is robotnik’s cape flowing so far behind him when he’s walking at a somewhat slow pace • i find it funny when eggman’s henchmen mock him when he’s not around, but i didn’t expect sleet to do that • “intruder .8 kilograms? what?? • how does it weigh a drone that is hovering in mid-air • somehow dingo identifies the drone as being piloted by sonia despite it being a hunk of metal with cameras on it • dingo being or looking like in the case of my headcanon a grown man and slobbering over sonia is kinda freaky (it’s partially why i made the hc so it’s less yikes but it’s still uncomfortable and i’m definitely gonna tone it down because fuck) • sleet don’t hit him!! • sonia is clearly frustrated during her conversation with manic (he’s being reckless as fuck) but the animators decided to give her a dead eyed smile for the whole scene • i wonder how they made the mechanical sounds? like the electronic shweeshweeshwee of the robots walking or the whoosh of doors opening? foley stuff is fascinating to me and i wanna know if they had to do any weird shit

• sleet is monologuing about how he hears the pitter patter of manic’s little feet and oh my god his eyes • how is dingo sneaking up behind manic he’s so fucking huge and noisy • sleet says “sylvia” before whacking the drone out of the air with what looks like an entire swatbot he just sort of picked up? i don’t get the reference and since when is he so strong • okay in the next shot it’s just an arm but still • “sometimes you just have to get their attention”? • cool transition between scenes with the camera glitching and shutting down from the perspective of the drone, that’s neat • dingo picks up sonia but wasn’t he just behind manic? once again the pacing is confusing me • “oh, ick” me too sonia • manic and sonia are tied up and were but in gigantic chairs and it looks so funny • “now, sarah” okay i get the “sylvia” thing now, sleet’s just forgetting sonia’s name somehow • sonia says “twit-face” and i feel like she could be more clever than that • “whatever, sophia” • “where’s sonic!?” [NYOOM] • sonic’s voice sounds... really weird, is that what jaleel white sounds like when he isn’t trying to sound all nasally and shit? also he burps and it’s gross • god the movement in this scene is very janky in general • sonia starts lecturing sonic but gets interrupted by a laser blast and manic pipes in like “can we talk about this later?” • sonia strong • is sonic just spilling lava everywhere??? • you’d think there’d be more sounds here • “am i good or what?” feels like it was pulled from satam? • “you’re insufferable” “thank you” • sonia’s voice is so shrill jesus christ • i feel like this is a pretty good confrontation of how sonic not working as a team with the other two can cause pretty significant problems • sonia i don’t think robotnik would throw you in prison, that’s what the roboticizer is for and i don’t think he’d keep y’all separate from that • cyrus does a weird double take and i think it’s an animation error • this cyrus kid is pretty sus- who is this hippie dude- • CYRUS SUS CYRUS SUS • there was deadass just a normal animal bird with some kind of accessory on its neck as a background character • damn it cyrus • SONG TIME??? • apparently no • once again manic and sonia are tied up which lasts 2 seconds • aosth slow-mo beam, purple flavor • what are these background characters they’re so ugly • OH NO I REMEMBER WHAT SANCTUARY IS NOW • children... i’d love to see the tiny babes but they’re undoubtedly ugly as fuck • ROBOTNIK WANTS TO MURDER CHILDREN • one of the kids looks like reptar • SONG TIME NOW • why is this so. idk, whimsical? idk how to describe this but i already don’t like it • they forgot to draw manic’s head quills in a shot • why is cyrus looking so pissed at these children • sounds like a weird off brand christmas song. don’t like it very much but i guess it isn’t bad. maybe a 2/10 • sdnjksg assaulting your siblings with a cloud of flour sounds fun if not wasteful but still, manic seems to be enjoying his little tech demo • sonia says “this place is gross” and manic goes “hey, you’re talking about my childhood home” and i think it’s a good thing that the show didn’t just forget where they all came from and how this can create very minor conflict between them? like manic and sonia seem to slight each other rather frequently when it comes to sonia’s attitude towards dirty places and manic finding it comfortable there due to familiarity even if it wasn’t all that good. i can relate to that • sonic walks off the right side of the screen after refusing some goggles then. pops up and puts on the shades again? i don’t get it • oh my god sonic knocks cyrus (and manic by extension) over and they literally just. rotate the asset in place and leave them planking. there wasn’t a water splash or change of pose or anything • how does sonic zoom past a swat bot looking directly at him without triggering any alarms? why didn’t it notice him • why are there so many regretful traitors on this show • how does sonic not notice the clearly a hologram man in front of him • god the animation in this episode in general is abyssmal • ah jeez manic and sonia have been captured again • “attention sonic hedgehog” • OH NO CYRUS’ DAD but the expression he made in response to seeing him roboticized killed it

• i know he didn’t snort here but i can feel the little “snrk” sound here. it was at this moment he knew he fucked up • PULL THE LEVER, SLEET • that little drone thing is fucking insane, it melted the entire roboticizer?? • i much prefer when background characters resemble actual animals • aww hug • poor cyrus :( • GOD SONIC AND SONIA SIT DOWN TO COMFORT HIM BUT MANIC LAYS DOWN ALL DRAMATIC JUST SMILING, READ THE ROOM BUD-

#sonic underground #ooc #not an ask #sonic underground rewatch!

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caseyah · 4 years ago

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.flow

I just finished playing through .flow, so I think I’ll try to give my full thoughts and interpretations on a lot of I found and experienced in the game (in the form of a series of points, because my thoughts are scattered even at the best of times).

for now I will be just be tackling characters roughly in order of how relevant I believe them to be to Sabitsuki’s life and experiences, while I will talk about Sabitsuki (and, by extension, Rust) at a later time.

CHARACTERS:

Black-Haired Girl / Onigo: Sabitsuki’s life began with a death. Specifically, the death of her mother. Onigo represents the very few things Sabitsuki both remembers about her mother (her distinctive long black hair and blue dress) and what she was told by the hospital staff (the fact that she died giving birth to Sabitsuki). The reason why she dies so often in the game itself (childbirth event, every time you encounter her as Rust) is because thats all Sabitsuki can relate her with. Sabitsuki also likely feels guilt in relation to "causing” her mother’s death, as she manifests the idea in the form of the incredibly visceral Childbirth Event.

Oreko: Sabitsuki’s childhood friend, another child who either “lived” in the hospital like Sabitsuki or simply another kid who met Sabitsuki during a time she was in the hospital. Oreko would grow interested in technology and machines as she grew older, eventually becoming something of a mechanic/scientist (though Sabitsuki likely never exactly understood what Oreko’s machines were, which is probably was she internalized them as looking quite bizarre and scary). She also likely had a very big interest in the seas, explaining why she wears the divers helmet and why Sabitsuki associates her with the ocean. Oreko was Sabitsuki’s only companion in any sense throughout the majority of her life, someone who was there for Sabitsuki no matter how much abuse Sabi sustained from society or no matter how bad Sabi’s illness got. Unfortunately, Oreko’s life would eventually be cut short. Sabitsuki most likely never figured out how her best friend perished and was likely in denial about it for some time before making peace with it (Finding Oreko’s ghost requires interacting with her “alive” self a decent amount, and the area her specter is found in is relatively calm compared to most other areas containing significant characters). Oreko’s final appearance to Rust in deadhole could be the last remaining shred of “normal” Sabitsuki having one last memory of her best friend, before she disappears and only Rust remains.

School Girl/Kaibutsu Sabitsuki: Sabitsuki’s manifestation of what she once was/fears she could become again, the one who was harmed by and later took revenge on Smile and the one Sabitsuki is always running from to some extent. School was likely a very, very bad time for Sabitsuki on a personal level, possibly due to Oreko’s death (though there isn’t anything that really indicates when Oreko’s death happened in relation to Sabitsuki’s life so it could be for any currently unknown reason). Kaibutsu Sabitsuki is what Sabitsuki remembers herself as during that time: a violent monster who hurt the only person Sabitsuki was even remotely close to at the time.

Smile: Though Smile is obviously a very significant person in Sabitsuki’s life, exactly what their relationship was and Smile’s history in general is very vague. His appearance in Disposal is likely a representation of his first meeting with Sabitsuki, as he isn’t wearing his usual outfit and lacks his tattoos (their appearance while as Rust may just be because Rust always sees Smile as his “true” self) and seems to react to Sabitsuki’s presence with mild confusion more then anything else. They later met properly during school, where by this point Smile had gained his tattoos and they obviously had formed a relationship of some sort (whether it was just an acquaintanceship, a friendship, or something more significant isn’t exactly clear but Smile was at least comfortable enough around Sabitsuki to have her visit his house and meet his sister). Unfortunately, their ambiguous relationship didn’t last. Sabitsuki’s corrupted school event shows what I believe is likely the end of their relationship and the last time they ever interacted with eachother. For one reason or another, and I suspect the cause was likely Sabitsuki herself, Smile attacked Sabi in the basement of the school. On a personal level, Sabitsuki likely viewed this as an injustice against herself (even if Smile was likely only doing what had to be done) which is why Rust later imagines herself getting revenge against the boy.

The Cleaners: The Cleaners are people who “clean up” (i.e. kill) those with the illness Sabitsuki suffers from. At some point in the past, they massacred the residents of the hospital Sabitsuki was staying in (as seen in 0.16) but left her alive for whatever reason, taking her away to live an actual life beyond the hospital walls. Why they spared Sabitsuki specifically isn’t something I can explain really, but its possible she was simply much less far along in her illness compared to the others and had the potential to be “saved”. Sabitsuki likely doesn’t view the Cleaners as a threat or “enemies” as it were and rather seems fairly neutral about them despite understanding what they do on some level (as seen by obtaining the limbless effect from one’s chainsaw). The Cleaners also had a second purpose asides from their main directive: working at the Sugar Hole (or whatever its “real” equivalent may be). Given Sabitsuki’s fondness of the place (it being one of very few areas in .flow that aren’t directly threatening or foreboding in some way), its possible The Cleaners brought her to the Sugar Hole shortly after leaving the Hospital with Sabi.

The Girl In The Yellow Dress: Buried far in Sabitsuki’s subconscious are the few memories focused on a mysterious girl known only for her faded, dirty yellow dress. Though not strictly always buried far beneath (being seen in Deterioration very easily while smoking in the hall) and never reacting to Sabi’s presence, she is clearly someone Sabitsuki lost tragically and has done her best to bury all the remaining memories of. So, who is this girl? Though my theory is abit shakier thanks to just how vague a character she is, I believe the Yellow Dress Girl to have been a sex worker who briefly acted as Sabitsuki’s caretaker before she somehow met her end. Maybe through knowing the Cleaners somehow or just being in the right place at the right time, this girl ended up as the guardian to a young Sabitsuki. Working as a prostitute (either already her job or something she took up to support Sabitsuki), the young Sabitsuki grew to genuinely appreciate this girl as a motherly figure and they briefly shared a legitimately nice life together (as seen in the “sugar float days” event). However, it didn’t last, and thanks to the darker side of her job creeping up and taking over her life, the Yellow Dress Girl ended up separated from Sabitsuki and possibly even dead. Sabitsuki, unable to properly deal with the trauma of losing someone who did so much for her and she held so dearly, repressed the memories of her and pushed the Yellow Dress Girl into the furthest points of her mind, where memories of the good times were fleeting and brief while memories of the end lingered unchanging.

Little Sabitsuki: Little Sabitsuki is fairly self-explanatory: she represents how Sabitsuki remembers herself as a child, either weak and bedridden (hospital), or lost and forgotten (snow world). Little Sabi’s condition worsening as regular Sabitsuki’s does could represent just how sick Sabi truly believes she is, unable to see even her past self as anything but diseased and broken. Sabitsuki never got to experience a “proper” childhood, she has no memories beyond the hospital, the overgrown halls, and the cold.

The Inner Demon: Underneath it all, this is how Sabitsuki truly sees herself. A bloody, diseased demon who exists only to cause suffering to both the world and people around her, aswell as her self. A manifestation of all of Sabitsuki’s sins and wrongdoings in the form of a dark mirror, buried so far deep within Sabitsuki’s subconscious the idea of confronting it leads Sabi to vomit her own blood in anxiety and terror. Only once Sabitsuki sheds her sense of self and becomes Rust can she properly confront her demon. The years and years of self-loathing building up from her birth, to her disease, to the loss of her friends, to the loss of control, to the loss of her self, leads Rust to perform a metaphorical suicide as she beats the demon to death as the final action taken in her own subconscious.

Kaibutsu: What Sabitsuki fears she will become should her illness completely take over. They take the form of grown-up versions of her fellow children at the hospital, possibly meaning that she believes all of them would be doomed to become a Kaibutsu, or perhaps that she saw multiple children become Kaibutsu at the hospital.

Fetuses: Sabitsuki’s physical manifestation of her illness, only appearing by the time Rust takes over (as while Sabitsuki rejects and is terrified of the illness, Rust embraces it).

Takibi-san: A homeless girl Sabitsuki spent a small amount of time around after leaving the hospital. Sabi mostly remembers her thanks to Takibi’s distinctive pink hair, a very uncommon trait in .flow’s world.

While this is all for now, I do plan to do a similar analysis for Sabitsuki and Rust. If that goes well enough and I still feel up to it afterwards, I will do another two analysises for the maps and the effects.

#.flow #smile #oreko #smile (.flow)#analysis #.flow (game)#sabitsuki #rust #.flow spoilers #spoilers #theory

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msaluna · 4 years ago

Text

The Moon Well

This story is a mini fic of Luna in a Corruption AU, giving hints on how she became corrupted by an event while overseas. All of Luna’s backstory is relatively the same with only this one event causing her sudden shift in corruption. Enjoy. -RayMun

================

The night of her return was not a pleasant one, the woman known by so few in the town as the local witch, and even fewer by actual name passes through the magical portkey door. The one that leads back to a mansion overseas owned by a man she no longer cares for. Her body still humming with magic from the events that only happened the night before.

She closes the door behind her, waving a hand over the door, it vanishes in a shimmer of powerful magic. The house creaks with what could only be heard to Luna as a sound of concern.

"I am okay dear friend," Luna said to what would be emptiness. "But I think we’ve outgrown this town."

Luna places a satchel of books she has been holding onto the table as she goes to prepare for her “Move” to another location. The books weren’t hers to keep but she felt every right to take it. The contents were a mix of rituals, spells, and Fay knowledge along with one black journal. It was written in cursive french, but she didn't have to translate it to know of its contents. Because she saw through the torching visions of the Moon Well what secrets it and its previous owners kept.

Without much preparation time, Luna focused her magic to the condition of the house. Her eyes and body glow in pale gold light, a phantom image of moth wings expand from the woman’s back. The house around her binds and twists, creaking as the Relocation spell takes hold. Markings and symbols write themselves in light along the walls and ceiling of the rooms. And in a matter of minutes, the house once known as Sun & Moons Fortunes is now an empty shell in the small town. Making the new residence to the Witch of Secrets currently unknown.

VVV[Open Read More to see the Journal Entry]VVV

[Research of the Moon Well]

[Owner: Viktor Frollo]

[Contact: XXX-XXXX-XXXX]

[Date: 21/12]

The Moon Well, I have only seen it in tales and vague mentions in old documents but now I have been convinced the place or more accurately this phenomenon truly exists. This year, during my visit to that drabby campus, invited to the Yule ball as per usual, I was expecting it to be the same as last year. Boring. Typical meet and greet while reconnecting and reassuring some of my former contacts that I was being a well-behaved gentleman. Seeing the most mature and basic of magical potential. Such cowards. They do not realize untapped magic is waiting to be discovered if they simply opened their eyes and looked.

But no, they fail to even realize that one of their own students has talents that are far more than just a prodigy witch. This time, even I was allowed the opportunity to peek behind that curtain that hides the secrets of the moon. A student by the name of Luna Eirian allowed me to see past this veil during her performance for the winter moon. It was stunning in more ways than one, truly something to behold. But what was more shocking than the skills she possessed was the display of natural magic being displayed through her voice and music, it was the fact that no one realized what I had at that very moment. She was performing Fay magic! Specifically Moon Fay! At least, this is what I strongly believe just from the scene I experienced this evening.

I can hardly steady my hand as I write my excitement of this discovery. The only thing now is to convince Ms. Eirian to allow me to be her patron or mentor. She will never be able to reach her true potential through the cowardly teachings of that establishment. This will be difficult, as she is already suspicious of me from her reaction to my presence at the Ball. Even when asking her if she would like a patron to fund any projects she wishes to undertake, she politely declined. Sadly, she isn't like any of the women, like the ones who pursue me in the hopes I would give them my time. It would have made this situation easier.

[Date: 22/12]

I have sent a request to Ms. Eirian's counselor to have her study under my watch. Seeing as we are both viewed as porridge witches from the same university, it was fairly easy to convince the council. However, Ms. Eirian herself seems to be a paranoid sort of individual or at least highly instinctual when someone takes interest in her. I did not see any hint of shyness in her demeanor when asked, so her rejection of me doesn't stem from bashfulness. At least she isn't a gullible idiot, that much is a blessing and frankly, I believe it adds to her charm.

[Date: 28/12]

It has been a week since the Yule Ball and I have managed to convince Ms. Eirian to stay at the estate while I help her with a project. A broom. Simple enough, but now that she is here, I can proceed with providing her with information about her talents. And I can finally push her to limits that will break that veil once again, without interference with those cowards at the university. Hopefully, the promise of more knowledge from my collection of books will entice her to stay longer than intended. She seems to be very fond of learning about magic.

[Date: 10/01]

A new discovery, even if she didn't have her Fay heritage, Ms. Eirian has proven to be quite clever and knowledgeable. She has only relied on her Fay powers less than a handful of times while under my watch. It is truly impressive, we would have many quite the collaborative team if she lived on this side of the ocean. Or have come to the university when I was attending. I still intend to study her Fay capabilities, but even I have to admit that her presence here has significantly warmed the chilly atmosphere of this estate.

I need to move the project forward if I am to hope to achieve my goal of studying Luna before I become distracted.

I will be moving the project forward a little faster than usual. Now that she is less suspicious of my movements, I will be able to gather samples to perform further studies.

---

[Date: 16/01]

Today, I took a gamble. I handed Ms. Eirian a book that normal human eyes are not typically allowed to read. It is one of the few Fay-written books I have managed to find without being tarnished or fake. It was worrisome, I had a story prepared to explain why I had the book and why I was handing it to her without explanation. However, a surprising thing happened...she didn't question the book or the contents. She didn't even ask how she could read it. Ms. Eirian...do you trust me this much with your secrets? Or in bittersweet irony, are you truly unaware of why I drew close to you?

The way she smiled at me with excitement about the contents of the book tells me she does not know. And for some reason, at that moment in time, I felt sad. I pitied her more than being pleased with the concept of her unknowingly being part Fay. She truly didn't know how special she was to me. And the idea of knowing a secret she didn't know she had, pained me.

---

[Date: 21/01]

Our relationship has grown closer over these past few weeks. She has opened up quite a bit, and it makes things easier. But there seems to be an issue that I wasn't expecting to have, I purely played with the idea of returning her affection to keep her close but now, I wish to keep her close regardless. However, the issue is that I still would like to pursue knowledge about the Moon Fay while she is still by my side.

In a few days, the super moon will be rising and I need to be prepared.

Forgive me Luna, but maybe you will if my studies help you control this Fay magic inside. Once I see and record my findings, I promise that I will tell you everything. No more secrets between us.

I promise.

---

[Date: 31/01]

I am not sure what happened, all I could say is the display of magic and the veil tearing was unlike anything I have ever seen before. The power of the ritual could be viewed as a success to a typical scholar, I know my past self would have seen it as such but seeing Luna---Apologize for my notes at this moment.

The ritual is supposed to be performed during a normal full moon but my eagerness to see a positive result has led to a miscalculation. The Moon Well does exist and it can be accessed by a half-Fay heritage of moon descent. However, due to the mythical powers of the supermoon, the results have left --the subject-- Luna in an almost comatose state. Possibly overwhelmed with the sudden flow of magic, knowledge, or both that came to her. She was screaming by the end of the ritual and I, admittedly in a panic, tried to cut her ties off to the connection of the well---

*the writing seems to be shaking more and more as the journal goes on*

She was babbling in Fay for hours nearly four hours, I can barely pick out a few words that I know, "too loud" and "stop the voices" were some of the few I could trasl translate as I got her to some care. Her body is strangely chilly to even myself. Body limp but strangely light as a feather now that I recall. Her body glo was glowing softly, still full of magic I presume. Apologies again for any miss-spelling or illegibility, my hands are still shaking from shock. I will be staying by her side for the remainder of the night to make sure that her condition didn't worsen.

*the writing is a little more steady, assuming after a pause to calm themselves*

Luna's condition had improved in the last few hours of the night, maybe due to the peak of the moon finally reaching its end. It is only a hypothesis. Luna is still restless in her sleep though, but the chill has gone away. Thank God. The glowing has also faded somewhat but her hair has clearly changed, adding more blond to her caramel hair. Upon further inspection, the freckles on her body have also burned into her skin, only now do I realize that her markings on her back fit perfectly as the constellations of the night sky.

This experiment should not be replicated without further research and understanding of Fay magic. And also should not be proceeded without less secretive tactics to any 'subject' performing the ritual. I believe, if I wasn't a coward in that very moment, if Luna knew about her heritage before performing the ritual, the results would have been less catastrophic and dangerous to her livelihood. Hopefully, Luna will wake from her sleep soon, so I can apologize to her properly. For now, I will leave this journal here for a time while I rest and wait for her to awake.

Luna. I am so sorry.

---

#Corruption AU #Fanfic #MSA OC #Luna #Viktor #Character Lore #Moon Well

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sonicringbond · 4 years ago

Text

Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Scene 54

Finally, we are here. The last scene of Season 1. There will be some huge changes coming, or at least they feel huge to me. But none of that will come until after this scene, so let me get out of the way so everyone can read...

“It has been too long, old friend,” Ix’s disembodied voice stated from where it now rose from his autogolem body.

Sonic could barely tell as a blast of energy from Rosy had sent him tumbling and he had not quite righted himself yet. As he attempted to, he heard Ix continue.

“My apologies for being so long in waking you. It took some time to learn what had happened after my own shameful defeat. Though, I owe a great deal to the foreign Ring Mage and the Medium who serves as your present, unworthy host.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Pir’Oth,” Rosy, but clearly not Rosy comforted the autogolem. “I have grown rather attached to this Medium. She has been touched by so many of my brethren. It is exhilarating to see so pitiable a Medium so touched by them. The Gaia Twins, The God of Destruction. Illumina. Even Solaris has touched her. I can hardly fathom what makes this girl so special, but she is. That, and she is far from one who appreciates boredom. She has a love of entertainment to merely match my own. I may even keep her once I’ve recovered my own body.”

“Not happening…”

“Oh~? Did you still have something to say, Dirt Dweller?”

“I have plenty to say,” Sonic grunted as he forced himself to his feet. “But the only thing you need to hear is ‘let her go’.”

“You do not realize your position,” Ix interceded on behalf of the entity that possessed Rosy. “You are but a frail, meaningless mortal. My old friend is the one and only rightful ruler of this world.”

“I doubt it,” Sonic spat as he noticed a giant Red Star appear at the center of the sphere, the bottom loosing form and becoming a cloud of Rings. Still, he pressed on. “I heard you name a lot of familiar faces a moment ago. Believe it or not, but a couple I’ve helped and made pretty good friends with, and a couple more I had to stop from destroying the world. Can you guess who’s still standing?”

“You expect me to believe that, Dirt Dweller?” the entity that possessed her scoffed at Sonic’s claims. turning Rosy’s now red right eye and Gear Star Ring iris left eye onto Sonic,

“I’m guessing you’re controlling her via a Ring Bond,” Sonic surmised as he started to walk towards Rosy, even as the ground beneath him began to lose its supports as they turned to Rings. “But you didn’t touch her memories at all, or you would have noticed. She watched me fight Chaos, and she believed I could beat Dark Gaia. Or maybe it’s just because Rings in the lands under that troublesome egg in the sky absorb people’s memories so her memories aren’t there for you to pic at.”

“You are surprisingly wise, Dirt Dweller,” the entity commended Sonic. “But I can make a Ring Bond with you and silence you in an instance, no less gain all of your memories. After all, they seem to be unnaturally intact. I never would have believed there were any who could resist my mastery of the Rings. Still, even through this vessel it will be no problem dealing with a simple, boastful, Dirt Dweller.”

Spinning up from the rapidly growing cloud of Rings and Ring Gates, a single Ring presented itself between Rosy and Sonic. The smirk on Rosy’s face deepened the scowl on Sonic’s and entertained the entity that possessed her. Still, Sonic walked forward unfaltering. It bothered Ix as he had seen the speeds Sonic could run at.

“Perhaps it would be best if we simply eliminated him now, Benedict,” Ix suggested, and at last gave a name to the entity possessing Rosy.

“And where would the fun in that be Pir’oth,” Benedict laughed through Rosy. “This Dirt Dweller, he is so fun I may yet let him flounder. It has been too long that I’ve slept, and to be greeted by so perfect a gift. I can hardly discard it so readily.”

“Then I shall devote myself to planning your awakening ready for this one’s challenge,” Ix held from arguing and turned to enter a Ring Gate that awaited him. He kept his blue glowing eyes on Rosy a moment longer though. “I will not allow your need for pleasure to keep you asleep any longer. The world shall know once more of the name Emperor Benedict Yoluku of the Empire of the Ring. Stay well old friend, I hope to see you once more, far sooner than later.”

“And now he’s gone and ruined the surprise,” Yoluku laughed, watching Ix disappear through a Ring. Surprise came to Rosy’s face as Yoluku turned his attention back to Sonic. “Oh? Is there something amusing.”

“Don’t mind me,” Sonic snickered, even as he held a tight smirk. “I just didn’t realize how accurate I was. Benedict? Yolk? Come on, you’re like a breakfast food, Eggs Benedict.”

“Ah, so the Dirt Dweller has a sense of humor.”

“I bet you look like an egg too, don’t you,” Sonic pressed, obviously agitating Yoluku. “Well, you know, or I guess you don’t since she’s missing her memories, but scrambling eggs is my specialty.”

Stopping before the Ring Yoluku had summoned, Sonic casually collected it. “A foolish move, Dirt Dweller. That was your last link to this precious girl. Soon the floor shall fall out from under you and you’ll be helpless to take her back. Unless that is how you foreign Dirt Dwellers beg for mercy. It’s so hard to say. It has been ages since the concept of foreigners could even be had. Little matter, I accept this girl as your gift and will let you fall to where the Rings may take you.”

Sonic had not been paying attention to the fact that Rosy had been floating this whole time, but it was impossible to ignore when she floated down to the walkway he was standing on, the whole thing turning to Rings at the touch of her feet leaving him with nowhere left to stand. Naturally, he fell helplessly.

“How boring,” Yoluku remarked, a look of disappointment weighing down Rosy’s normally cheerful features. “I suppose I shouldn’t have let his boasting get my hopes up.

“Guh!?”

The sound of collected Rings reached Yoluku far after he felt a gloved hand take Rosy’s wrist. He hadn’t expected it at all. And turned to look with Rosy’s eyes through a Ring into Sonic’s emerald eyes, stunned by the surprise he felt. “A Light Speed Dash? Performed by a mere dirt dweller?”

“What can I say, I’m full of surprises,” Sonic smirked as the Ring he held burst into motes of golden lights.

“Yet you are still a fool, Dirt Dweller. There is nothing you can accomplish by making a Ring Bond with me. I shall dominate it and make you my servant.”

“Who says I was making one with you, Eggs? I’m making one with Amy, and you’re too late to stop me.”

“What can you possibly offer her that would be a threat to me, Dirt Dweller?”

“If you could see her memories, then you’d know that even Dark Gaia couldn’t dominate me.”

With Rosy’s widening eyes, Yoluku realized he was bested, and laughed as Sonic spoke to Rosy. “Impossible”

“It’s time to wake up, rascal,” Sonic gently whispered to Rosy and watched her right iris return to the shade of blue that always reflected him. He still had a few last words for Yoluku however as he saw the Gear Star Ring still turning in Rosy’s eyes. “And don’t think I’m done with you either, Eggs. I’ll find a way up to you and put a stop to this foul Ring Bond myself.”

“I welcome the challenge,” a youthful, pleasant, and cheerful voice greeted Sonic from the Rings. “I have not had this much fun in ages. I look forward to seeing all of the ways you two entertain me for your short little lives, Dirt Dweller!”

~Maybe I hear voices in the darkness. But Sonic shared something with me in that Ring Bond. And not just the ability to resist the will of the gods, which is so strange. I’ve never resisted them so openly before. I can only wonder how that will affect my relationship with my cards. But it’s so hard to tell right now. There was something else in that Ring Bond from Sonic. It’s so, so warm. But I can hardly focus at all. I can barely see Sonic, or the red glowing eyes behind him. I think they’re supposed to be familiar. I can feel myself getting scared, but they also feel so much like Sonic. But Sonic seems to recognize them. I can hear his voice, and maybe it sounds scary too.~

“I should have known there would be one last troublemaker to come and crash my party crashing. Heh, and all things considered, I should have expected you sooner.”

~I’m too lost in Sonic’s warmth to hear the name he says. That’s okay. I know this is the real Sonic in this warmth. And for once, I think he’s willingly engulfing me in it. Tee-hee~♥ A shame I can’t enjoy it, just a little… longer…

~…~

Scene 54 · CLEARED Party Crashing & Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Season 1, End

-----

And that’s that. Season 1 is over. Hooray!

\(^o^)/

With celebrating out of the way, I do have to admit that I am exhausted. It was a daunting project to start with, but with several idea changes and honestly discarding my original ideas for The Journey to try and be more welcoming to everyone who has been following my AU. Now though, with everything set up, the other characters addressed as being out there, and establishing Sonic’s main goal, I can finally start to make The Journey what I originally imagined.

What is that you ask? The original idea to The Journey was to tell a story with only Sonic and Rosy. An unending road trip that explores the dynamic of Sonic and Amy and how they can work together as characters, friends, traveling companions, and even as boyfriend girlfriend, all without sacrificing their individual characters. It’s an even more massive undertaking for an amateur writer like me, but the smaller cast of characters and a more focused, yet also more open approach I’ll be taking should hopefully make it easier for me to nail. Or as close I can.

I hope everyone will continue to stick with me on this journey, even as the other characters become more of an occasional background element. Of course, if you want more out of them than that, I’ll be opening prompts again when it is time to start expanding the world of the story again. I may have my own plans, but Sonic Ring Bond is a communal AU. So please, come join me on the next leg of the Journey!

-----

Special Thanks to Cutegirlmayra and every one of you! Story by @JoshTarwater/SonicFanJ Inspiring Song – Fuse Man Stage (Arranged) – Yoshiya Terayama – MEGAMAN 11 Original Soundtrack

Fair Use Disclaimer

Sonic the Hedgehog and all affiliated characters and logos are the express property and Copyright© of SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS used without permission under Title 17 U.S.C Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976 in which allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. “Fair use” is use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be considered copyright infringement. The Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey alternate universe (AU) consumer written work of fiction is a non-profit transformative work primarily for personal use and can and will be taken down without warning or prior notice at the request of the copyright holder(s) should it not be recognized under “fair use”.

*Sonic Ring Bond logo created by DEE Art – twitter.com/daryliscute.

Sonic Ring Bond AU and Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey are the creation of Joshua David Tarwater/ynymbus/sonicfanj/@Joshtarwater and is to be, including all contents herein considered for all legal purposes the property of the Sonic the Hedgehog intellectual property (IP) and copyright owners, SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS. All story contributors via prompt, suggestion, written scene, art, and all and every other contribution acknowledge that all contributed material is forfeit for legal purposes to SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS upon official request from SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fan fiction #sonic au #sonic au series #sonic ring bond #the journey #classic amy #amy rose #rosy the rascal #au amy #amy redesign #pir'oth ix #sonic oc #benedict yoluku #eggs benedict

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aelaer · 5 years ago

Note

Compare/contrast Benedict Cumberbatch’s portrayal of Sherlock & Strange?

Ah ha ha anon, you understand my propensity to write essays regarding basically, uh, anything that interests me. And character analysis for my favorite characters is definitely one of those things I can ramble about.

I’m going to assume you specifically want me to compare the two character portrayals with each other as opposed to the source material, so that’s what I’m going to do. This write up assumes all four seasons of Sherlock and all MCU films with Stephen in them as canon.

This topic is something I especially considered when writing the both of them in a crossover as they had to be two distinct souls despite their similarities, beyond their abilities. The two characters are very similar to the point that some folks have difficulty in distinguishing the both of them as separate characters. I saw this a bit when Doctor Strange was first released. Some writers from the Sherlock fandom tried their hand at writing him, and there was a lot of Sherlock bleeding through in a handful of the attempts I read. It wasn’t until I was head-deep in the MCU that I really noticed this myself, which goes to show just how similar they can be.

The similarities are easy: both very intelligent, masters in their chosen fields, arrogant, not always personable, are vain when they’re in a good headspace, and went through large moments of growth that reshaped some of their personality to overall make them better human beings.

It’s the differences that may be harder to figure out, and these differences also vary depending on what point of time in canon you’re looking at the character as they both went through life-changing events. Still, there are some core personality points that remain:

Stephen’s primary drive for knowledge is to achieve a goal. Sherlock’s primary drive for knowledge is for the sake of knowledge. While there is definitely some overlap (such as Stephen’s library of music release albums and dates, and Sherlock’s research into solving a crime), it seems to me that Stephen’s whole learning structure is built upon achieving a goal. Studying for his PhD and MD at the same time was all to enter the field more quickly so he had more time to hone his craft and become the best, and prove it to everyone. Going to Nepal and beginning to learn magic were all for the sake of curing his hands. We haven’t seen much of him after he pivoted his goal into protecting Earth and reality, but all the spellwork we see from him in Ragnarok, IW, and Endgame certainly seem to have been learned with that idea in mind. Sherlock, on the other hand, clearly likes studying things for the sake of knowing things. Unlike Stephen who has an achievement in mind before starting to go for it, Sherlock starts studying things before it necessarily becomes something that he knows for certain he will deal with. Take categorizing the 243 types of tobacco ash. If he came across tobacco ash in a case, I imagine that he’d be more than able to compare ash to the top 20 brands and find a match 99% of the time. While he may claim it is for a future case, you don’t do that unless you genuinely enjoy the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake. There is just no guarantee that it will be of any practical use in the future, while we know for certain Stephen’s research for his primary goals is to find solutions to problems both immediate (his hands) and imminent (bad things coming to bother Earth). (And this is one reason I consider Stephen a Slytherin and Sherlock a Ravenclaw, though both could have Ravenclaw and Slytherin as secondaries, respectively.)

Stephen is more interested in the praise, acceptance, and friendship of those he sees as peers and equals. Sherlock is decidedly less interested. This changes a bit through their character arcs, especially Sherlock’s, but let me see if I can explain this clearly. At the beginning of Doctor Strange, we see Stephen performing a surgery in front of residents (or med students, I don’t know), playing a music game with his assistant, and joking with his fellow surgeon. He asks Christine to join him at a dinner conference which is again, about his accolades. He likes getting the respect and admiration of his peers and those he considers friends, like Christine, straight from when we first meet him. When we first meet Sherlock, he doesn’t bother to explain why the ladder being green matters to Greg in the text. He asks for his name to be left out of the papers and definitely doesn’t do his work to impress the police force. If he was looking to get their admiration, he’d act a bit; we know that he can act. But he just doesn’t care what his peers (the police force) think of him at all. It’s not until John enters the picture that Sherlock starts showing off more by explaining his thought processes. Something about John intrigues him, and that grows exponentially when John saves his life at the end of the first episode. I’ve read fics where John’s described Sherlock as a peacock, but he really wasn’t like that until John came around, if the green ladder text and wanting to be kept out of the papers/public eye is any indication. Stephen, however, was most definitely the peacock. Stephen’s interest in acceptance pivots to the Masters of the Mystic Arts when he comes a student by his joking with Wong and Mordo. He’s interested in proving himself to them and gaining their praise and later on (I imagine) their friendship, though sadly we don’t have enough canon film time to see how his relationship with other sorcerers has grown since his first film. He’s likely conceded to the fact that his work is more secretive now, but for those in the know, he wants their acceptance and potential friendships. Sherlock’s bubble expands to wanting the acceptance and praise of maybe five people at most by the end of Season 4, but again, he’s not greatly interested in what his peers amongst the police force think. Wider praise and larger friendships has never been in the books for him. He’s completely content with the small group about him.

Stephen is on the extrovert side of the Myers-Briggs scale, and Sherlock is on the introvert side. This slightly differs from his comic book self here; comic book Stephen is much more introverted. MCU Stephen isn’t a huge extrovert, but is obviously fully comfortable surrounded by people and being the star of the show, as seen by the beginning of the film. He’s fully content to do activities that are known as more “introverted” such as reading, but a love of reading doesn’t mean one is automatically an introvert. He doesn’t strike me as a personality that would get exhausted when needing to deal with people for longer amounts of time, as I’ve known the introverts in my life to be. Stephen is simply content both alone and with others, and when with others, he likes to show off from time to time. Sherlock, on the other hand, isn’t interested in the attention from the wider world and making friends. All of his preferred activities don’t involve other people and he definitely finds the idea of having to deal with people and societal norms tedious. If he’s showing off, it’s to impress a specific person as opposed to entertain a crowd. And unlike Stephen, I could see Sherlock being exhausted by parties and generally avoiding talking to most people, while Stephen, so long as he’s with a group with similar interests, could definitely talk about it for some time - whether it’s neuroscience or even the same music tastes.

Stephen is more sympathetic than Sherlock. This is not to say that Sherlock lacks sympathy, but as a detective he really has to have a cold detachment to the victims in order for emotions not to override his ability to do his job. This detachment is vital for surgeons as well when operating, and at the beginning of Doctor Strange Stephen could be considered too far in the cold detachment realm in selecting his patients, thinking about his record rather than if a procedure would be in the best interest of the patient due to health risks. This changes immensely with the loss of his career and his new path in life. I think the sympathetic tendencies of both characters can be best seen in how they deliver bad news to strangers:

The Sherlock screencap is from Season 4 Ep 1 (I wanted to select something after the hiatus and Magnusson so I had him after his growth). He’s telling a couple that their son tried to surprise them but ended up suffocating to death by accident. That look isn’t rude, but it’s very by-the-book, delivering the facts with very little emotion. Stephen is from Infinity War, before going through the Time Stone and whatever mess he dealt with in there. He’s telling Tony, not too long after meeting him, that the Time Stone comes above the lives of all of them, he and Peter included. The emotion that comes out on top is a grim determination, but even delivering this news, I would not say that it lacks sympathy. It’s a “this is how it has to happen; I’m sorry” type of emotion. The sympathy in his expression expands exponentially after the Time Stone, but canon hasn’t confirmed just how well he got to know the others. Was he just browsing through and pressing the “forward” button to view futures, or was he living through possible futures? The films haven’t told us yet. Hopefully we get clarification at some point. But that’s why I chose this screencap as opposed to the more obvious Time Stone scene. I think there’s further examples of their levels of sympathy such as Stephen’s reaction to the zealot he killed. One thing they are equal on in sympathy, though, is when it affects someone they care about. Sherlock is incredibly sympathetic to John after his loss, and the care Stephen shows to the Ancient One as she’s dying is very poignant.

Now there are also differences in their physicalities that Benedict does a fantastic job of portraying, such as the subtle shaking in Stephen’s hands in several scenes and Sherlock’s own hand gestures that vary completely from Stephen. They also move differently, and they move differently depending on their moods. He’s done a phenomenal job of distinguishing the two characters through physical motion alone.

Thanks for the interesting ask, anon.

#anonymous #sherlock holmes #stephen strange #bbc sherlock #doctor strange #meta #ask #answered #long post #benedict cumberbatch

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migleefulmoments · 4 years ago

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Abb/y has something to s/ay

Let me premise this by reminding everyone that Abby -like Trump-doesn’t “get” comedy. They literally do not understand jokes, punchlines, or humor. So a satirical show about the Hollywood song writers falls flat. Her time away did nothing to sway her conspiratorial aspirations or her misogynistic hatred of Mia. She watched Royalties not once, but twice... not to enjoy Darren’s creativity and performance, not to support the celebrity she stans, and not even to crack up at the humor, no she watched twice because she was looking for confirmation bias. She wanted to document all of the ways Darren wrote his CrissColfer truth into Pierce’s life and she obsessively listened to all of the diss-tracks he wrote to attack his wife.

Let me also premise this by saying I loved the show. I thought it was funny and the songs are so damn catchy. The lyrics are quintessential Darren- funny, very clever, and raunchy.

******************************************

R/oyalties, the Tale of Two Shows with a Heaping Side of Meta

ajw720. So I just finished watching R/oyalties for the second time, this time solely focused on the meta. Look, we all know, the show is not good, it was not well written and the short format didn’t help as there was no option to develop character or plot. But D knew it would not be good, he apologized for it back in January 2019. And I think the effort he put into acting was the effort it deserved. Ok.

But his songs were genius. As were the videos, hence why i call it the tale of two shows. It truly was like watching content made by completely different people. I concur with MH, D is “intensely talented.” And the part of this show he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into, the songs, are evident of this.

But this is a post about that Heaping Side of Meta. I think D, knowing that that show would not be made in the manner he envisioned, instead used it as a vehicle to make some bold statements and parallels with his career and public life. Shall we begin? And please, unlike the perfect song, this is not a perfect post and after the second round of watching i canceled my Quibi subscription and never plan to look back, so please feel free to add. I know some of these have been pointed out but I thought it was valuable to have one post.

One idea to inpsire the song? A tiny FROG on a dime.

D’s shirt 1st seen in Episode 2: “It is hard to soar like an Eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys”

And of course “Call me Goldilocks bitch” Remind you of something?

How about the entirety of Episode 3 when we are told that an artist is completely the product of the team. That no matter what the artists expresses they want, it doesn’t matter because the Label/manager/publicist/on camera agent/legal will always have a say. And how it will play in America or the Foreign market are key metrics of how the product is produced and presented. I love the line of the songwriter that tells P/ierce and S/ara to “get out while they are young.” Or the line by one of her team “we don’t want something different, we want something the same that is different.” And in the end P&S simply took one of KK old songs and reworked it, making something different that is not different and her team loved it.

And of course, the line that was an utter slap in the face to the most over praised “director” of an indie band video ever when D reminds her of the real director in his life, the man set to direct major motion pictures, “you know who would be perfect to direct? C/hris. C/hris would shatter this.”

Not much in Episode 4, but the gorilla suit in my opinion was mocking of a certain MMR video where we watched Swiller and a banana in a song about a gorilla. Images I never need to see in my head again.

Episode 5, a gem, I am still so fucking proud of D and how he mocked her throughout the entirety of the episode. New lines I love of that amazing song he wrote about her (in addition to those i posted previously here) “Some people say I’m a genius, which comes from the greek word for Latin, and other people will say, alright in fact i’m a fuckin’s genius” “I’m not saying I’m a god, but I’m not saying I’m not a god.” Mocking at its finest made all that much better by the band’s name “Switchback Jacket” that D describes as “butt rock emo” that is performed by a band that doesn’t actually sing, they are just the public image. He literally told us that what we see is an image created for the public and that it is completely fake. And he used his beard to make this statement. Just brilliant. I cannot praise him enough for this, stealing her moment in the sun and making her look like an utter fool, telling us just how narcissistic she is.

Also some wonderful lines from that episode that are beyond telling:

“Power, it felt good to remind Kevin that I hold power over him. You always want to be the one with power”

“p/ierce wouldn’t know where to take a shit if I didn’t tell him.”

“she is like my wife except we don’t have sex and we are friends.”

“alright boss, I am ready to record that song, but where should i take a shit?”

“You will do anything to succeed.”

Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years. 3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years. It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal. But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on:

And the cherry on top of this episode, the inclusion of C/huck (for some background, see my post here).

I really like the one bit of dialogue between P&S, where D pretty much tells us once again that M will use anyone to get what she wants:

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe, I don’t like where we are now? There were a lot of really great things about the way things were. Things that are worth preserving. Not that you just take and use and through out.”

Episode 9 had some really impactful lines:

“you think i wouldn’t steal for my career? You think I wouldn’t lie? I would do anything.”

The Neils being the nameless individuals, nothing more than a number, who are the ones who actually create the product. And then the song, some of the translations are D telling you how he feels, because sometimes i think in terms of his public image he is just a Neil trying to escape the cage that has been built around him:

“I dream about getting away, I have been locked up in this cage wishing i could make my escape. I hate that I need you.”

And finally Episode 10, where we learn the Neils get no credit and no royalties. This reminds me of a script C wrote that never saw the light of day but suddenly the next season of AHS had the same theme as his script.

And that is all i got, if you have more please add. I think the fact that D took what he knew would be a mediocre project and projected his voice and story throughout it was pretty genius and a smart way to utilize this vehicle, that was clearly payout for so many that have used him for years and to shine a bright light on the truth.

elicc The “perfect song”’s performer is called Bailey Rouge, a clear link to TLOS.

He is a genius.

ajw720 @elicc damn, that was on my list and I forgot. And we all know who Red is inspired by, so seems fitting Bailey Rouge would get the perfect song.

ajw720. Just adding one more I thought about putting in my original post but admittedly think it’s a stretch. But maybe not? Just adding here for fun.

When Theo tells P to bottle up all his romantic feelings I couldn’t help but think of a certain chapter in a book

*******************************************

Oy Vei! Abby didn’t use her time away getting any therapy or perspective. She hasn’t learned any lessons. I have no doubt she’s been reading just as much as she did before and she’s speaking to Cassie, Flowers et al all day. It’s really sad. It’s sad that she can’t see how silly she sounds, what an asshole her version of Darren is. If she could restrain herself even a little bit it might come off less unhinged because turning every single moment of Royalties into some crisscolfer wet dream reeks of desperation.

Abby hates Royalties. In last week’s “Dear D” she had the audacity to say

....Fans that are beyond devoted and mainly because of the way you have treated fans with respect and a level of caring that far surpasses the majority of public figures. And while I am not enjoying the show itself, the music shows how diverse you are as a writer and how you can virtually write for anyone or any genre. The songs are fantastic. Memorable. And really fun.

She knows the the Langs wrote the show and Darren wrote the songs but what she can’t seem to comprehend is that Darren IS Royalties. Everything in the show is Darren’s.

Staying in the closet would be less painful than trying to express oneself through a short-form satirical comedy. Can you imagine trying to express your devastation and pain through Kick Your Shoes off or Break It In?

“I’m the king of the hard fuck....pile drive the bed like a young buck...if you like feathery shit thats pretty cool but I don’t need that...people say I fuck too soft, saying that I can’t please a woman”

BTW Abby- “call me goldilocks bitch” isn’t a reference to TLOS it’s a reference to Goldilocks and Three Bears because because he fucks perfect, not too soft, not too hard. It’s much more believable that he is referring to a random nursery rhyme than it is to believe he is referring to a children’s book his lover/husband/boyfriend wrote 8 years ago. You might love the book but Chris has moved on and written new things.

Darren wrote funny lyrics. I loved Kick Your Shoes Off because it’s written by a man whose watched his wife and female friends wear painful shoes for the same of fashion even though its painful as fuck.

“Yeah, I’m a bad bitch so don’t be mad bitch. I turned the room into a catwalk like a sad bitch. I can’t feel my toes in these stilettos. when I walk out my roomate says you’ll regret those....Beauty is pain but oh I look amazing. You won’t hear me complaining but oh my instep (inside?) is screaming...kick your shoes off (kick em off) ooooooo I do what I want..(Kick em off) ooooo Hey I can’t walk in these, blisters start to bleed now both my feet are swollen. Kick your shoes off (Kick em off).....It’s like i feel so good when my shoes are on, but like i also feel sooooo good when they are off”

Abby’s convinced I am So Much Better Than You is straight up about Mia because Mia is in the video. She listened to it on repeat the day after it came out. In her “Letter to D” last week she said

Especially after you made an effort to mock her for the entirety of Tuesday when her episode aired (and for the record I am still really, really proud of what you did with that episode and how you handled the roll out, that is the fighter I admire and that inspires me. I listened to I am so much better than you on repeat on my drive home from work yesterday).

Good Lord The lyrics are as silly as all the other songs: “My mirror wants to bone me (but it can’t because it’s a mirror)” How did Abby miss the obvious TLOS mirror/ Halloween costume reference here?

“You keep doing push ups while I get buff eating mac and cheese (with overpriced lobster and truffles because I’m worth it)”

“Some people say I’m a genius (which comes from the greek work for latin) Some other people will say yeah I’m right I’m a fucking genius (I’m not saying I’m a god but I’m not saying I’m not a god).

“And even when you sneeze, God blesses me, he blesses me. And even when you sneeze, god blesses me, he blesses me, he blesses me”

“I’m am so much better than you at everything”.

She believes Darren would be- and stay- married to a women that he publicly ridicules and attacks. I don’t get why she thinks that is something admirable .

She thinks Also You is referring to Ben living with them. Where to start with this one? She says

“Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years. 3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years. It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal. But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on”

I’m gobsmacked. Also You is about Polyamory. She doesn’t even understand her own theories if she thinks that is the message Darren wants to share about Mia and Ben. In no world would someone try to proclaim their wife was cheating on them with a live-in houseguest by writing an episode called Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild. Also, someone needs to explain cuckholding to her because her theories about Ben and Mia make Darren a cuck.

OMG I just realized that Darren is a cuck and Royalties proves it. He hired Kether to be his costar in Royalties,...Kether is in You’re the Worst as Lindsay. Lindsay cuckholds her husband. Bam! mic drop.

Why isn’t Perfect Song about Mia, you know, if we are playing confirmation bias “No one is as good as you because you're my perfect song”

#CrissColfer #Darren Criss #Abby Speaks

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goldenkamuyhunting · 5 years ago

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Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 209 “Kesorap”

And with this new chapter we see how the group is back on changing as it loses one of its members. I wonder if more changes are also on the way…

I have mixed feelings on this chapter. A part of me is VERY HAPPY with these developments as I was hoping for some of the things that happened in this chapter to happen. The other is just… okay, this is all good and nice but how we got here?

But let’s dig into the chapter.

The cover shows Enonoka and Cikapasi walking away together which basically foretells the events of this chapter and becomes a huge spoiler scene.

Cikapasi and Enonoka will stay together as hinted in the movie ‘The life of Kesorap’.

I won’t beat around the bush, I’m happy with this development and I was hoping for it.

The editor also make sure to deliver the message home with his ‘the path that brought us together is a miracle’ (lines on the title pages are usually written by the editors not by the authors).

As some already know I usually don’t pay much attention to the comments on the cover as they’re often written by the editor, not by Noda himself but this one is interesting. Apparently although the translation says ‘the path that brought us together is a miracle’ this is because the word used for ’path’ can be also read as miracle so the writing is more ‘the path/miracle that brought us together’.

The mention of paths and miracles cannot remind me of Ogata and his hope a blessed path would open up for him.

He too longed for a family, same as Cikapasi, and for someone who wanted him… however he chose the wrong person as Hanazawa clearly wasn’t interested in him and didn’t become interest in him likely not even when Yuusaku died. It’s worth to note though the words Ogata used in Japanese were different, so maybe it’s just a matter of translations.

And now let’s look at the story.

We see that the group is again on the move, which not only is a clear sign NODA ISN’T GOING TO TELL US IF MORE WAS SAID AMONG SUGIMOTO AND ASIRPA OR AT WHATEVER CONCLUSION ASIRPA CAME even though the discussion was left on hold in chap 206 and chap 208 showed us an image of Sugimoto and Asirpa still supposedly at it,

but also of how the group is leaving Toyohara, likely moving toward Odomari because, remember? That was the place in which they should have their rendezvous with Tsurumi.

The two weeks are evidently either up or about to be up and the group is supposed to reach him there.

Am I upset I don’t know the results of the discussion between Sugimoto and Asirpa? If he managed to persuade her or not? If he managed to get the code from her or not?

Well, of course I wanted to know… but I like to hope we’ll learn about it in a better moment.

We’ll see.

Somehow though, from when Sugimoto and Asirpa had gotten back together they hadn’t really seemed to drive the plot that much. Before they seemed to have a plan, a goal, and cooperated to reach it. Now Asirpa is not sure what to do while Sugimoto has the vague goal to get Asirpa out of the gold hunt and get the gold but how he plans to do all this is up to everyone’s guess. The only moments of ‘confrontation’ between them were in chap 192, in which Sugimoto actually lied to Asirpa and in chap 206 in which the discussion between them was left on hold.

Even with Ogata, nothing was cleared up and Shiraishi never got to express his own opinion on anything, not even on being shoot, Vasily accepted in the group as if he had done nothing wrong in shooting Shiraishi merely because ‘he was Ogata’s enemy’.

What’s Shiraishi’s position in all this? Sugimoto’s deal regards handing Tsurumi the code in exchange for 200 yen. What’s in for Shiraishi in this deal? He too wanted a part of the gold but if he’s handed to Tsurumi he clearly has no means of bargain. Is he destined to become a new skin in Tsurumi’s skin collection? Or it can be Tsurumi still needs him alive?

Anyway as a result Sugimoto, Asirpa and even Shiraishi seem to walk forward without any clear direction, basically doing what Tsurumi wants them to do (go in Odomari so Tsurumi can secure Asirpa and get the code from her) as if they were merely side characters.

I guess this is to keep the suspense so it’s not wrong per se… it’s just I can’t really cheer on them if I don’t feel they’ve a goal but they’re just… wandering.

But let’s return to the story. Ryu had become the front leading dog on the sled Sugimoto, Asirpa and Shiraishi are riding and carries them to Enonoka’s village.

Them reaching Enonoka’s village might mean they won’t get a chance to drop at the fox farm upon which once was Wilk’s village. It’s hard to say as we don’t have a map for where Enonoka’s village is (we know only it’s near Odomari) nor for where the fox farm is (near to the sea since they carried there a sea lion they hunt but it’s hard to say where exactly and in the map I made there are only speculations that can be completely off) so it’s still possible it’s on the way but, it’s also possible we aren’t meant to see that place again.

I’m a bit sad at this, I was hoping we would see the place again and learn something more about Wilk. We still have to see Wilk’s mother’s face after all (I like to think there was a reason if it was never shown) and learning something more about Wilk might help Asirpa take a decision. Why her father got involved with the partisan movement, likely he too at a young age? Was it just for what happened when Karafuto was handed to Russia? Or there was more? What about her paternal grandparents? Are they still alive?

New info might give her a better perspective to know why Wilk decided to go through that path.

Vasily is nowhere to be seen.

As, unless something happened, there’s no reason for him to give up in chasing them in hope they’ll meet with Ogata, either is just keeping away from them or they managed to leave Toyohara without him noticing. We’ll see.

Anyway once they reach Enonoka’s village Asirpa praises Ryu because a lead dog gets special treatment and can stay inside the house with their owners… we might think Asirpa is doing this because she feels a bit like Ryu’s owner but Shiraishi will hint to us what they’re actually planning for Ryu.

In fact Shiraishi comments Ryu wil lead a better and more love-filled life if he remains HERE, which, according to Shiraishi, means RYU found the place where he belongs.

Long story short, they plan to leave him with Enonoka’s grandfather.

And this is where I start to have problems with this chapter.

Honestly this development came as abrupt to me as I never expected them to dump Ryu in Karafuto.

Chap 204 showed Ryu still hanging around with Tanigaki and Cikapasi,

with Tanigaki commenting it was a good think they didn’t send away Cikapasi and Ryu...

...so I would have expected them to keep on thinking Ryu could be useful and want him to stay with them. While on a side no one in the group really became Ryu’s owner replacing Nihei, Ryu had given no signs he viewed Enonoka’s grandfather as his new owner. Ryu had seemed just an independent dog who had decided to stay with them.

Mind you, my problem is not with Ryu remaining in Karafuto with Enonoka’s grandfather as lead dog. Ryu, despite being a hunting dog, has showed talent for it (he realized when they weren’t following the sled anymore for example). My problem is the lack of build up on this decision.

I’ll explain myself better. When Nihei died Ryu chased his rifle, refusing to be parted from it, clearly still thinking at Nihei as his master.

Once he found it back he has remained in Sugimoto’s group as a willing and helpful member, generally hanging with Cikapasi and Tanigaki.

Nowhere in the Karafuto arc it was shown that Ryu had grown close to Enonoka’s grandfather to the point to consider him his new master, nor we even heard Enonoka’s grandfather asking if he could keep him. For unknown in-story reasons (but with the very clear plot reason to show that Ryu realized they were going in the wrong direction), starting from chap 166 Ryu is attached to the line of dogs pulling the sled (with Sugimoto claiming he’s not suited for pulling it because he’s a hunting dog and that’s why he’s doing a fuss… Sugimoto, really…).

Sure, later in chap 168 Sugimoto praised Ryu and said he could become a great sled dog, which had seemed to ‘spark’ a rivalry gaze between Ryu and the head dog of Enonoka’s grandfather...

...but the most we could assume is that either Ryu is competitive or got a liking for that job. Ryu has likely continued to pull the sled through the rest of the story until, in this chapter, it was remarked he was promoted to lead dog but… that’s all.

Am I supposed to think Ryu, for a ‘new interest’, wouldn’t suffer at all leaving the people who had been his companions and that he had helped and protected till now, when he couldn’t let go of the last memento of his previous owner?

I guess we can speculate that, while the group was busy performing in the circus, Ryu was left in Enonoka’s grandfather’s care, which we know is very good with dogs and views them as his family and the man has developed an interest in him and, possibly, a bond with him, and that’s why Ryu was placed in the dog line afterward… but that’s speculation. There’s no hint things went that way as I can’t remember Enonoka’s grandfather doing so much as to pat Ryu.

Also, Shiraishi’s sentence said after Asirpa listed all the benefit of being a lead dog feels less meaningful as it seems Ryu will be loved as long as he can be the lead dog.

Long story short, I get the story wants me to be happy for Ryu who had finally moved over Nihei, who’s dead and can’t be back to him, had found a new job as sled dog that will give him gratification and benefits, and is supposedly left in the care of people who’ll love him and I WOULD BE… but as the part of Ryu accepting Enonoka’s grandfather as his master isn’t developed at all it feels more like they realized Ryu can be a good sled dog, thought he would be well cared and decided to abandon him there without caring of what Ryu might feel.

Sure, later we’ll see when they leave Ryu has no problems remaining with Enonoka’s grandfather so evidently he agreed to it but this agreement came out of nowhere.

Dogs aren’t really boxes you can pass along to other people easily, so I honestly feel I need for Ryu’s bond with Enonoka’s grandfather to be developed for me to fully appreciate this development and not to feel it was merely a way to get Ryu out of the plot… but maybe the thing will be more developed in the volume version. We’ll see.

Back to the story it’s meaningful how, as Shiraishi says Ryu seems to have found there the place in which he belongs, Tanigaki is in the same panel and below it, in another panel, there’s Cikapasi with a serious expression.

Ryu and Cikapasi came to Karafuto together, both in a way bereft of home as Ryu lost Nihei and Cikapasi his family. They both tagged after Tanigaki, Cikapasi thinking Tanigaki would ‘adopt’ him, Ryu likely thinking he would replace Nihei as his master since Tanigaki had Nihei’s rifle yet Tanigaki never thought to ‘adopt’ either of them. He had kept them with him when they had chased him and had kept responsibility for them and I think in his own way he had grown to care for them but… he was neither Cikapasi’s family nor Ryu’s master.

I wonder if more than him not wanting them, it’s just he didn’t feel ready for it so he avoided considering the option. Taking Ryu, a hunting dog, meant going back to being a Matagi hunter and, although he wants it, he’s not ready to go back home. Taking Cikapasi, a child, would remark the need to form a family with Inkarmat and, although he wants it, he’s probably not TRULY ready yet.

It was Cikapasi who, by telling Tanigaki to offer his rice to Inkarmat, ‘forced him’ to face Inkarmat and the fact he fears she’s still tied to Wilk with the whole sharing rice thing and, although in the end he told her he wanted to share rice with her… he didn’t want to do it right then but in the future, when they both would be free. Tanigaki was procrastinating, likely afraid Inkarmat could still favour Wilk to him.

Marrying Inkarmat for him in a way is like going back home.

Something he wants to do but doesn’t have the guts to. Maybe that’s why he wanted to kill Kiro thinking fulfilling his revenge would this time give him the determination to go back to Inkarmat. And instead he got himself a tiger’s curse.

Personally I think that with Ryu leaving the plot the chances that Tanigaki will go back on being a Matagi hunter will decrease and will lower further when he’ll also give up on Nihei’s rifle.

Anyway the group thanks Ryu for taking care of them till then, which is another hint they plan to leave him to Enonoka’s grandfather… but the scene of them all patting Ryu is really sweet.

Also the fact they are all thanking him for his help NOW seems to imply they know they will part ways with him now, as in they expect Ryu to remain in Enonoka’s village and not come with them in Odomari… and if that’s the case this means they don’t plan to use Enonoka’s sleds as means of transportation.

In fact a horse sled conveniently drops by Enonoka’s village and Tsukishima informs them it’ll carry them to Odomari, confirming they won’t continue their travel to Odomari on Enonoka’s sleds… and this too comes as an abrupt plot development.

Why switching mean of transportation?

Enonoka’s sleds can carry them to Odomari, not only tthey had hired them to carry them around and they travelled with them till Akou but they had met Enonoka very close to Odomari after she had just left it so there should be no problem in her sleds going there.

So why all of sudden break their working contract when Odomari is really close by? Has Koito finished his spending money?

I wonder if there’s a plot meaning to this.

Is Tsukishima afraid if Sugimoto’s group has its own sled they can try to use it to escape? Was he afraid Tsurumi could harm Enonoka and her grandfather? Is the guy on the sled someone relevant to Tsurumi’s plot as his eyes are almost always shaded

(they’re visible only when Tanigaki tells him to stop because Cikapasi fell off the sled).

Also Tsukishima looks as enthusiast of this development as a guy who had just been kicked in the balls.

I wonder if this is tied to Sugimoto and Asirpa. Tsukishima was always urging Sugimoto to get the code from her… did Sugimoto managed to do it? Does Tsukishima know? Does he fear for what Tsurumi will do now?

Hard to say with their discussion between Sugimoto and Asirpa abruptly cut before they even got the chance to mention the code. They seem okay though so maybe no argument between them took place or if it did it got hopefully solved, but Sugimoto knew he was supposed to hurry in getting the code so… am I to assume Asirpa either told him the code or managed to persuade him she actually hadn’t remembered? Did the two of them come up with a plan on how to deal with Tsurumi afterward?

No idea.

On the other side moving on the sledge could be merely a narrative device to have the following plot taking place in Enonoka’s village with no other special in-story reason.

It’s possible, after all the scene works much better here, in Enonoka’s village, and ensure Ryu and Cikapasi are smoothly removed from the cast without any risk for them to meet Tsurumi… whom I don’t think would positively impress Ryu and who could end up looking at Cikapasi and Enonoka as threatening material.

We saw how he handled Ariko, after all, and maybe Tsukishima, out of thankfulness for Enonoka and her grandfather, wanted to make sure they would remain safe. We’ll see.

I don’t know, I think this chapter could have benefitted for more explanations of why changes happen instead than just dropping them on us.

Maybe it’s just me but, from when they got to Akou, I got the feeling some things were rushed up a little without a clear explanation. Svetlana had basically no role, the doctor who took care of Ogata had an unexplained 180° turn when he first didn’t want to welcome Sugimoto’s group in his hospital because it was full then felt obliged to carry Ogata there to take care of him even though Sugimoto basically lead him there by threatening him, we still have no idea whatsoever why Toni and his men were in Noboribetsu and why Tsurumi sent Nikaido and Usami there in advance, it’s unexplained why Hijikata already knew Ariko, that he was an Ainu and his Ainu name, Ryu got left into Enonoka’s grandfather’s care without the man showing interest for him and Tsukishima decided they would reach Osomari with a different mean of transportation when there’s no need for it.

Those are no bad plot decisions (except Svetlana, I’m still hung up on how as a character she basically went nowhere)… it’s just they’re abrupt and/or unexplained and it doesn’t seem like Noda is planning on explaining them. Maybe they’ll be expanded in the volume version, maybe he was just told to rush them up. Hard to say but I wish they had been expanded.

Anyway Koito pays Enonoka, the girls crying as she counts the money and then shakes hands with Koito as she did when they got hired by him.

Sugimoto praises her for being a mature kid (probably because she’s the one handling the money) but well, I like to think we could have gotten that by ourselves.

Cikapasi calls Enonoka but she walks away. Sugimoto tells him they’ll wait for him so that he can talk to her,

because Tanigaki is obviously too busy doing… no idea really, what’s busying you so much Tanigaki?… to play the role of the parent and just watches the scene.

Well, I like to think Tanigaki understands the moment is difficult for Cikapasi, after all Tanigaki seems to have a sad expression and he was there when Enonoka asked Cikapasi if he was really going back. That discussion also was abruptly cut. I wonder if something relevant was said in it but I’ll talk about this later. Tanigaki was also observing Cikapasi and Enonoka during the movieso it can be that deep down he’s concerned and just in denial over the importance of the whole thing.

On another side it’s ironic how Sugimoto tells Cikapasi to talk with Enonoka when he sucked at doing it with Umeko (he basically refused to listen her, telling her only what he wanted to do and then escaping) and Asirpa (actually in Asirpa’s case the first time he escaped in the night without telling her a word and once we were reunited he first lied to her and then he went at it in a rather terrible way, trying to scare her in not murdering people because that would be hell and insisting she should let someone else fight).

Enonoka tells Cikapasi she won’t say goodbye to him because she’ll expect him to get back, then she asks him to not lose the hohciri she gave him once he’ll cut it off (remember? That hohciri had belonged to her father and Cikapasi was meant to cut it away once he would capture/kill a prey on his own) and to not forget her.

Cikapasi promises he won’t forget her, his expression showing us that, although he’s not crying, he’s pained at the idea to leave her, as Koito calls everyone so they can leave.

Koito wants to go back home and back to Tsurumi… though I wonder if deep down what had happened with Ogata is still weighting on him and his wish to meet Tsurumi is also due to confronting them man. I hope he hadn’t just forgotten it and moved on or misinterpreted it but well, I guess we’ll find out in the future.

We see Cikapasi sweats a little as Koito calls him. He’s clearly torn between leaving and staying. Enonoka is still crying.

Going on.

They get all on the sled… well, all except Ryu as they clearly leave him with Enonoka’s grandfather.

As said before I’ll assume the fact Ryu isn’t trying to chase them as a sign Ryu acknowledged Enonoka’s grandfather as his master.

Cikapasi is still serious. He notices Enonoka is hiding behind her grandfather.

When he turns away to stare at the way ahead of him (and it’s relevant how he is all shaded in that moment), Enonoka calls him. He turns back abruptly, his eyes shining, and starts to wave at her, sweating and telling her to wait for him and that he swears he… at this point fate helps him and he slips off the sled.

Tanigaki tells the guy leading the sled to stop as one of them has fallen off of it (as said before this being the only scene in which we’ll see the guys’ eyes as all the other times they’re shadowed…) and asks Cikapasi if he’s fine as the boy stands up. Shiraishi tells him to hurry back on the sled. He doesn’t seem to understand what Cikapasi is waiting for… but well, Shiraishi had only spent a small time with Cikapasi. He might not know of his bond with Enonoka and her grandfather. This panel is also interesting as everyone seems to look at Cikapasi except for Asirpa who seems to look at Tanigaki whose face we cannot see. but maybe it’s just me.

Anyway Cikapasi turns to look at Enonoka and her grandfather and it’s meaningful as he does so his whole body turns toward them (he was already partially turned due to his fall but now he seems to look straight at them). His eyes are particularly shiny as he stares at them and I think it’s Sugimoto the one who tells him they’ll leave without him if he doesn’t come back, but I’m not sure but what matters is how tiny they are. The balloon is right above Cikapasi’s ear, a hint he has heard them but in a way, they’re very far away from him.

Cikapasi thinks back to the movie they filmed about ‘The life of Kesorap’, to how in it he moved to live with Enonoka and her grandfather and formed a real family with them. Cikapasi is clearly wishing/thinking what happened in the movie could be turned into reality, he could really have a happy family with Enonoka and her grandfather instead than keeping on chasing one with Tanigaki and Inkarmat.

He turns toward Tanigaki’s group but it’s as if his feet are glued on the ground.

He had looked at Enonoka and her grandfather with hope before, eyes all shiny, but now, as he looks at Tanigaki and the other, there’s hesitation. He’s sweating and clearly he can’t see his place among them, he doesn’t long to join them back. It’s meaningful the scene is viewed as if the camera was below Cikapasi so that, even if Cikapasi is still a child, in a way he seems taller. He’s facing his first important decision as an adult. His expression is very different from the one of the cheerful kid who trotted around Tanigaki.

Shiraishi doesn’t get why Cikapasi isn’t coming back but it seems he realized something’s wrong with him. Tanigaki instead seems to have a sudden revelation

as he leaves the sled to join Cikapasi, thinking back at all the moments they spent together.

The scenes shown are from chap 95, when they were travelling with Inkarmat and he explained Cikapasi the purpose of his journey was to bring Asirpa’s back as this was his duty and then wanted to hunt with him, the scene from chap 96 in which Inkarmat was in troubles and he hesitated in helping her only to be reminded by Cikapasi they were a family and from chap 167 when they were about to die for the cold and he shared his kane mochi with Sugimoto and Cikapasi.

Basically, sharing his goal and hunting, being told they were a family and risking their life together.

As Tanigaki reaches him, Cikapasi still hadn’t moved and he’s looking down as if feeling guilty, but then he looks up with a serious expression as he calls Tanigaki’s name. He’s sweating a little but I think deep downCikapasi has already decided what he wants to do.

Drops fall on his face and he’s surprised by them.

Tanigaki is crying, his face red, his tears falling on Cikapasi.

It’s worth to note that’s how the scene in ‘The life of Kesorap’ should have gone, with tears falling on Tanigaki instead when filming the movie it was only Cikapasi who cried, only Cikapasi who felt moved.

Tanigaki is prone to cry, he did it when he was about to leave Huci, when he was a burden to the girls in the circus and when he had to say goodbye to them but he hadn’t cried when filming the movie. Maybe he hadn’t understood the meaning of the scene, he hadn’t imagined what it would mean to him to let Cikapasi go. Maybe he hadn’t even considered the possibility as Cikapasi was conveniently following him around without needing for Tanigaki to verbally commit himself to become his father.

However now Tanigaki is finally understanding it, understanding Cikapasi is important but he’s too late.

He had understood this now that Cikapasi has decided to leave him and this probably makes things even more painful as Tanigaki hadn’t considered the possibility.

Tanigaki crying is meaningful. Tanigaki never expressed his wish for him and Cikapasi to be a family and it could be speculated he protected and helped him out of a sense of duty an adult should feel for a child. After all he protected Enonoka too. All he had managed was to acknowledge Cikapasi had been useful and therefore he was glad they hadn’t sent him back… which however was nowhere near close to wanting to have a family with Cikapasi in. So it could be speculated Tanigaki didn’t want him, he just had to cope with him. But now Tanigaki is crying at the idea Cikapasi would leave him and this shows us Tanigaki deep down wanted ‘the fake family’ he had with him and Inkarmat, he wanted for it to be real.

Something else is meaningful.

Tanigaki tells Cikapasi to make a REAL family for himself.

Tanigaki is in pain at the idea Cikapasi is leaving but doesn’t try to persuade him to stay, doesn’t try to tell him he’ll offer him a better family compared to Enonoka’s grandfather and Enonoka. He accepts the fake family he had offered to Cikapasi wasn’t enough and that he had lost. He should have committed to becoming Cikapasi’s father/big brother and instead he had preferred to take it easy and never reassure Cikapasi by then they were a family, not united by blood but by love for each other. He didn’t mean to do it out of laziness, he just had failed in recognizing what really mattered until he lost it. I knew he was going to lose Cikapasi in ‘punishment’ for the tiger’s curse and not realizing sooner how much Cikapasi mattered to him.

I was afraid he could lose him due to something happening to Cikapasi so it’s a relief to see it happening merely because Cikapasi had found a better family.

On another side… the fact he so easily concede defeat still means he’s not ready to commit himself to Cikapasi. Cikapasi’s decision is likely based also on how Tanigaki never promised him anything while Enonoka made clear she wanted him to stay with her and when he said he had to leave she asked him to not to forget her and come back.

In short Cikapasi, who had always wanted a family, in a very adult way decided to stop chasing the dream of a family with Tanigaki and Cikapasi when he had no insurances this could become realty as Tanigaki didn’t seem interested in it, to pursue the real possibility of having a family with Enonoka and her grandfather. Things could change though if Tanigaki were to now offer him a family as well.

Theoretically Tanigaki could offer him a better deal. He’s a man while Enonoka’s grandfather is an old man who won’t live long and Enonoka is a child so Tanigaki can provide to Cikapasi better and for a longer time. He can bring Cikapasi back to Hokkaido where he had grown up. If he marries Inkarmat he can offer him a mother figure.

But Tanigaki concedes defeat. Even as he realizes Cikapasi matters to him, he’s still not willing to fight for him, to form a family with him. His decision to let Cikapasi go is painful but easy… which sadly fits with his character as, although he claims to be a man of duty, ultimately he can’t find the courage to go back home, nor he insisted for Asirpa to go back to Huci or volunteered to help Inkamart overcome her feelings for Wilk, or decided to stay next to Inkarmat until she felt better.

Taigaki can risk his life for duty… but he can’t find the courage to face others or what he truly wants for himself. He escapes responsibilities by setting himself up for side quests, getting revenge instead than supporting his family, killing Kenkichi from behind instead than facing him, remaining in the 7th instead than going back home, hunting Retar instead than admitting he doesn’t want to stay in the 7th any longer, searching for Asirpa instead than going back home, helping her to reach Abashiri instead than insisting she were to go back to Huci because she can concretely die, bringing Asirpa to Huci instead than tying the knot with Inkarmat, pursuing revenge instead than remaining with Inkarmat.

Note that many of the tasks Tanigaki devotes himself to are physically dangerous and would require him to face life threatening experiences… while the ones he tries to avoid are emotionally dangerous and would require him to face people.

Tanigaki is not afraid of death, just to face people and, as long as he doesn’t overcome this, he’s going to lose people.

Anyway, if Cikapasi might have any hesitation based on the hope for his family with Tanigaki to become real, well, now he has no more. Tanigaki made clear what they had wasn’t real nor that he would try to offer him something real.

The best Cikapasi can do for himself is to let him go and focus on what he could instead have.

Cikapasi has a single tear in his eyes as he agrees to do what Tanigaki told him to do.

He’s not crying as much as he did in the movie or as much as Tanigaki. We see he thinks back at when he travelled with Tanigaki and Inkarmat, he seemed happy but he has clearly realized he has to let that happy dream go.

Cikapasi then tells Tanigaki to take care of Inkarmat as she’s alone like him, so Tanigaki has to be a family at least for her. In a way, this is very sad.

Cikapasi cared for Inkarmat, he always had even if he was a child (it’s Cikapasi the first to suggest they’ve to protect her), and even now he’s trying to care for her. He didn’t just want Tanigaki and Inkarmat to marry for himself, so they would become a real family, but for her as well. Even though Tanigaki made clear he wouldn’t adopt him, Cikapasi wants to hope at least he will form a family with Inkarmat.

In fact, his last act of care for her is to tell Tanigaki to become Inkarmat’s family, reminding him SHE IS ALONE LIKE HIM and therefore she needs Tanigaki to take care of her (and stop worrying about Wilk as the guy is dead).

Tanigaki doesn’t reply, he just passes to Cikapasi Nihei’s rifle.

Back in the past Tanigaki claimed he wanted to keep on using Nihei’s rifle even though it was old, so that he wouldn’t forget Nihei’s teachings. Tanigaki however never showed he reminded them well, as HE NEVER WENT BACK HOME AS NIHEI TOLD HIM TO DO but made excuse upon excuse to keep away from it and even fell himself in the trap of leaving his fake family in order to embark in a second quest for revenge.

It’s also noteworthy how Nihei’s whole philosophy of ‘one shot’ didn’t necessarily have to be taken as literal and referring only to bullets.

Nihei told Tanigaki ‘If you have five rounds, you’ll start to think you have five chances. That’s dead wrong. If you don’t end in one shot, you die. I’ve only got one shot, and that’s why I can use it with absolute confidence.’

There’s a high chance Nihei’s philosophy refers to chances in life as well.

If you believes you’ve many possibilities in front of yourself, you might think you have an equal number of chances to get what you want and therefore won’t focus all of yourself on pursuing it with the result you might lose your only chance at getting it.

Nihei’s got that rifle from his son who died in the war after all. Nihei implied his son could have decided to become a hunter like him, instead he volunteered for the Sino-Japanese war, regretted killing people and died before he could return back and become a hunter again. Nihei’s son wasted his chance at a long life as a hunter and paid with his life.

Nihei on the other side clearly wanted to live a fulfilling life till the end, fully focusing on the present, without regretting anything. His philosophy is kind of like the ‘carpe diem’ in a way.

Catch the first chance you’re given and use it well, don’t wait for another, don’t think you’ll surely have another.

Nihei wanted Tanigaki to catch the first chance he got to return back home. Even though he had no idea why Tanigaki ended up on becoming a soldier he even tried to tell Tanigaki it was wrong pursuing revenge, admitting he chose the wrong option when he murdered those guys who shoot him (something Tanigaki didn’t learn as he pursued revenge again to kill Kiro).

It’s interesting to parallel the Nihei/Tanigaki interaction with the Tanigaki/Cikapasi one.

Nihei picked Tanigaki up and yes, he told him he had to go back home instead than keeping him with himself, but that was because Nihei understood Tanigaki HAD a home and it was important for him to return to it. Nihei was willing to make sacrifices to help Tanigaki return home because for Tanigaki it was important.

Cikapasi for a long time didn’t have a home yet Tanigaki neither picked him up (it was Cikapasi who followed him) nor offered him a home and only now, when Cikapasi has basically already decided where his home is, Tanigaki is showing him support in ‘going home’.

Tanigaki thinks he’s mimicking Nihei, leaving Cikapasi there and leaving him the rifle he got from Nihei (well… got… Nihei merely died and Tanigaki got the rifle by chance, Nihei never passed it to him) but actually he’s not getting even remotely close to him.

Nihei willingly did all he could to help him. Tanigaki just… ended up helping Cikapasi by chance.

Back to the story Tanigaki tells Cikapasi he should use the rifle to repay Enonoka’s grandfather (which is a hint Tanigaki is entrusting Cikapasi to the man) but that Cikapasi has to use it when he’ll be old enough (good suggestion though it would have been better if this had been made clear sooner since in the past Tanigaki had left Cikapasi unguarded with his rifle)

and that Tanigaki won’t be there to help him to hold it properly so Cikapasi would have to use it for himself and by himself… another hint Tanigaki isn’t even remotely planning to come back to check on Cikapasi.

From now on Cikapasi will be on his own for what regards Tanigaki.

Enonoka has asked Cikapasi to come back to her. When believing he would leave her, Cikapasi had still promised he would come back. Tanigaki instead is cutting all the bridges with Cikapasi. He’s not saying he might come back to visit, to see how he’s doing, to teach him how to use that rifle when he’ll be of age. He makes clear he WON’T come back, opposed to just saying he MIGHT NOT because life might not allow him or that WILL NOT because he knows life won’t allow him.

While this might be a good way to push Cikapasi not to look back… since Cikapasi has decided to stay here in Karafuto Tanigaki makes clear Cikapasi has to learn to stand on his own… even though he’s only 9… and not to count on Tanigaki anymore.

It’s a bit of a too big request for a child of 9 considering Tanigaki, a man about 21, had needed the help of a man like Nihei.

The next scene is relevant but it’s meaning is a little lost in the English translation.

Cikapasi though, although at first had hugged the rifle, now holds it properly next to himself and with a very mature expression repeats Tanigaki’s words “standing on his own” (ひとりで立つ ‘Hitori de tatsu’)

pointing out how this too is also a ‘bokki’ (勃起). We’re familiar with the word ‘bokki’ meaning “erection” but in this case it can mean “to stand on my own” as the whole sentence is a word play that don’t quite work equally smoothly in English.

The word play is meaningful also in reference to Cikapasi’s name.

We know that Cikapasi’s name means “the cikap is raising” where ‘cikap’ can either mean “penis” or “bird”. So the meaning is either “the bird is soaring” or “the penis is standing erect”. So far it had been assumed the intended meaning was “the penis is standing erect” which in Japanese would be ‘bokki’. But now, by pointing out that the word ‘bokki’ means also “Standing on my own”, Cikapasi hints his name means more “the bird is soaring” as in “leaving the nest and standing on his own”.

There’s a bird soaring in the title page and it’s also therewhen Tanigaki tells Cikapasi to make a real family for himself and when Cikapasi walks toward Enonoka. @chibivesicle suggested it can be a reference to the bird in ‘The life of Kesorap’ as in that tale Tanigaki interpreted the role of a bird. It’s possible though it also refers to Cikapasi, starting to fly on his own.

At Cikapasi’s reply Tanigaki smiles softly and confirm that too is a ‘bokki’.

I think it didn’t dawn to Tanigaki Cikapasi would answer in such way. Firmly and very adult like and using the word ‘bokki’ with such meaning. Cikapasi had grown, likely much more than Tanigaki, and he’s set on the right path.

Tanigaki leaves Cikapasi his bag (we could see Tanigaki had it when it left the sled and now it’s on Cikapasi’s feet) and Cikapasi asks him to bring Asirpa home so Huci will feel better.

Tanigaki confirms he’ll do it. Honestly I think he won’t manage to do it at all.

Anyway the rest of the group says goodbye to Cikapasi. They don’t cry but seem happy for him, apparently understanding Cikapasi, like Ryu, had decided this is his place. I’m particularly happy to see Koito is smiling as well.

The last page shows us three panels.

In the first there’s clear the image of Cikapasi, standing on his own, Nihei’s rifle in his hand,

in the second there’s a serious Tanigaki, all shaded, leaving behind Cikapasi and Nihei’s rifle, their images sort of fading,

while the final panel showing Cikapasi going toward Enonoka who runs toward him with Ryu.

While the final image is happy and hopeful I think this might be the start of the downhill spiral for Tanigaki. He was shaded, opposed to Cikapasi who’s always clear (except when he was about to leave Enonoka), meaning Cikapasi was the light and he’s leaving it behind, walking toward a dark path.

The contrast between Cikapasi and Tanigaki is stricking in a way, while Tanigaki is leaving his family, Cikapasi is walking toward his own.

Tanigaki has lost his chance to form a family with Cikapasi, and with the loss of Ryu and Nihei’s rifle, I think he has lost also his chance to go back on being a Matagi hunter, to go back home.

Tanigaki thinks he still has other rounds, namely bringing Asirpa to Huci, returning to Inkarmat and then going back home but I think he actually has lost all his chances, the chances he hadn’t caught when he could. Pursuing revenge again caused him to lose Cikapasi, Ryu and the rifle… and might have caused him to lose Inkarmat too… and I wouldn’t be surprised if this would reflect on Huci and Tanigaki’s family as well.

The first time Tanigaki pursued revenge, although he was punished with the loss of his mother and the discovery his quest for revenge was wrong, he was also given a chance in form of him learning the truth about his sister’s dead and getting a shoot at a new life. If he had had the guts to go back home and apologize to his father he could have restarted again from where he left… but he procrastinated… and kept on procrastinating even though he was shown he could easily die and never come back (killed by Retar, killed by the amappo) and he met up a man who desperately wanted to live and die in the wilderness he considered home and that tried to tell him to go back home.

Tanigaki just couldn’t grasp his chance to go back home. He was given the chance to form a new home, one with Inkarmat, Cikapasi and Ryu… and let that one chance escape as well.

Maybe I’m being pessimistic… but I doubt Tanigaki will have more chances.

Still, I was really hoping for Tanigaki to grow, understand his mistakes and have a chance at finally finding a home but Tanigaki just doesn’t seem to learn his lesson and I don’t know what it would take for him to learn it.

He seems to think he can just hand Asirpa to Tsurumi, has her tell him the code and then carry her back to Huci and go back to Inkarmat. First of all I’ve my doubts on Asirpa WANTING to tell the code to Tsurumi, and Tanigaki hadn’t even tried to taste the waters in that regard.

Has Tanigaki considered she might not want to do it? Has he considered what Tsurumi might do in that case? We saw how he persuaded Ariko to cooperate with him… Has Tanigaki considered Asirpa might give Tsurumi the code and Tsurumi might still be unwilling to let her go so as to make sure she wouldn’t give it to Hijikata? That he might kill her to make sure she wouldn’t give it to Hijikata?

And what about Inkarmat?

Is Inkarmat still alive or has Ienaga eaten her? Is Inkarmat going to be used by Tsurumi to manipulate Tanigaki? Or does Inkarmat still have her own agenda unknown to us? Is she going to be happy Tanigaki left Cikapasi in Karafuto?

Besides… does he really think Tsurumi will let him go? And even if he were… has he considered the consequences of Tsurumi finding the gold for himself who wouldn’t be able anymore to go back home as Hokkaido would turn into a military state and they would all be considered traitors by Japan? For Inkarmat and the other Ainu like Huci, Makanakkuru and Osoma?

Tanigaki needs to start thinking at this sort of things or he’ll soon meet his downfall.

I don’t think he’ll die though. The tiger’s curse involves an unhappy life so theoretically Tanigaki should live and be unhappy… unless he manages to lift it. Can it be done though? We’ll see.

On a minor side note regarding Nihei’s rifle I think Cikapasi will take good care of it, enough to make Ogata proud. For him it’s an important memento and we saw he didn’t let go of it not even when he was facing the wolverine.

And now I’d like to focus a little on Cikapasi as people wondered again if the presence of this little boy in the story had a purpose and why was he pulled out from the story now.

We know Cikapasi is an orphan however Ainu don’t abandon their orphans to themselves.

We are told that, at Asirpa’s village the elders would ‘look after’ him… but it seems more like they just feed him (we know Huci was among the ones who did so). Cikapasi comes and goes as he pleases and remarks often when he leaves to follow Tanigaki how no one waits for him at the Kotan (chap 87) and how he has no home to return (chap 140). Makanakkuru didn’t even know his name, a sign Huci hadn’t taken him in, as an adoptive grandson, and introduced him to her son, she just would hand him food.

Maybe for Cikapasi it felt as if they were giving him charity food, not taking care of him… though it’s worth to point out though that I’m not really sure how an Ainu family work. Asirpa has a family and her family let her live alone on the mountains when she was younger than Cikapasi and now they are okay with her travelling through Hokkaido with a man she met and a convict to hunt the gold.

Cikapasi likely got even less attention, hence his desperate wish to get a family.

This was Cikapasi’s true goal likely. Sure, he might have wanted to help Huci but I think the real key point was he believed he had bonded with Tanigaki and wanted to prove himself so that he would have more chances to bond with him and, ultimately, be adopted. Inkarmat, being an orphan as well, caught up basically as soon as she saw him and made him part of their group sort of giving him also what he wanted, giving birth to the creation of the fake family.

But Cikapasi clearly longed to turn that fake family into a real one and did all he could for it.

Inkarmat seemed to care for him but she had too many personal issues to deal with.

Cikapasi laced to Tanigaki but Tanigaki didn’t manage to answer in kind.

On the other side Enonoka had started to consider him part of his family after he had helped her to retrieve her dog, proof is she had given the hohciri that used to belong to her father.

Enonoka made clear she didn’t want Cikapasi to leave, that the thing saddened her tremendously, that she wanted him to not forget her and come back. Enonoka wanted Cikapasi in her family and made it clear to him.

In short, choosing to stay in a foreign land to have a family with Enonoka instead than stubbornly pursuing a family he might never have with Tanigaki or leaving for a side quest (bringing Asirpa back) when his presence is unneeded means Cikapasi correctly used his own one bullet, correctly handled the chance to have what he truly wanted.

That’s why Cikapasi’s adventure can end here, with him reaching HIS REAL GOAL, having a real family.

Cikapasi’s choice wasn’t easy, the story made it clear. He clearly still felt some obligations toward Inkarmat, toward Huci, toward Asirpa… but understood he wasn’t the one meant to fix things in Inkarmat’s case and in Asirpa and Huci’s case he probably has no idea handing Asirpa to Tsurumi doesn’t mean to have her go back home as he might have swallowed they only wanted to ‘save’ Asirpa, not use her for the code.

Why Cikapasi’s story is important?

Cikapasi, so far, is the first character who grasps the correct choice for himself, who understood he didn’t have to leave in a side quest the people he love promising he’ll return when he actually could simply STAY THERE.

Cikapasi understood he didn’t have to leave to go search for happiness, himself, revenge, a family, money, truth, glory or whatever, all he needed was there… and he was brave enough to decide to stay. He decided to stop chasing something that might not become true, his dream of a family with Tanigaki and Inkarmat, to grab the concrete possibility to have a family with people who wanted him, Enonoka and her grandfather.

It’s a decision the adults weren’t capable to make.

In a way or another the adults (and Asirpa too) wish for a place to belong, their own family yet they all, for a reason or another, left their beloved ones thinking they could always come back and then… Tsurumi send his wife and daughter away without explaining them things due to his work as a spy… only had his wife trying to come back to him and dying with his daughter, Tsukishima and Sugimoto came back too late (Egogusa was either dead or married off, Umeko married) and now Sugimoto is chasing the gold because without it he isn’t capable to go back home, Ogata stubbornly searched for his father’s love when the man clearly had none for him and his mother, Tanigaki pursued a pointless revenge and lost his mother, now he pursued another pointless revenge and he lost Ryu, Nihei’s rifle, Cikapasi and possibly Inkarmat, Inkarmat pursued her own goal only to see Wilk being killed in front of her, Sofia didn’t even get that much and gave up on any chance of family to be a revolutionary, Kiro won’t come back home to his family… and Asirpa might come back too late to see Huci again.

I like to think Cikapasi’s story is here to remark this, that the guys are making the wrong choices, pursuing something that’s not truly important and, as a result, neglecting what truly matters to them in order to be happy and ending up on losing it.

Now… in Cikapasi’s story there’s only a part I’ve to admit I’ve disliked.

So far we’ve only seen Cikapasi interact with Enonoka. She’s the one who doesn’t want Cikapasi to leave, she’s the one who’s close to him and seriously distraught at the idea of him going away, begging him not to forget her. WE NEVER SAW CIKAPASI INTERACT WITH ENONOKA’S GRANDFATHER.

The FAKE family Cikapasi had with Tanigaki and Inkarmat had them playing the parents and he playing the child.

Theoretically we would expect the new family to have Enonoka’s grandfather playing the father/grandfather with Cikapasi being the child meaning there should have been somewhere in the story some focus on Enonoka’s grandfather becoming a parent figure to Cikapasi.

The man though was only shown showing love, care and interaction with his granddaughter, we never saw him interacting with Cikapasi. It’s not he avoids him, they’re just not shown together, except that when filming the movie.

The movie ‘The life of Kesorap’ however, which is mean to parallel Cikapasi’s story doesn’t make things better as in it Cikapasi had a family because he MARRIED Enonoka and therefore became her father’s son.

Long story short, yes, in the movie Cikapasi got a family, but not as a child finding parents but as a man finding a wife and becoming part of his wife’s family.

Therefore, since Enonoka’s grandfather wasn’t shown to have a meaningful bond with Cikapasi, the story seems to suggest THE REAL FAMILY Tanigaki spoke of and that Cikapasi has to form is with Enonoka, by marrying her and therefore entering in her family.

It’s Enonoka after all who doesn’t want to let him go, who wants him to come back for her, and who’s shown with him in the cover… and the implication Cikapasi remained there JUST FOR HER is big.

Personally though I want to think that the movie is merely foreshadowing that Cikapasi will marry Enonoka in the future, not telling us Cikapasi, a child of 9, has to choose to form a family (or better devote himself into forming one in the future) in order to have one.

I want to think Cikapasi had found a family willing to welcome him and this could later develop in Cikapasi forming his own family with Enonoka but it’s not the reason due to which they’re welcoming him in it.

This could have been easily solved involving the grandfather. He could have interacted with Cikapasi or, at least, I would have been contented if Enonoka’s conversation in chap 204 hadn’t been cut but she had said something along the line of Cikapasi not having to leave as he could stay there and even her grandfather would be happy to have him there.

Instead, same as with Ryu, we’re asked to imagine the old man wanting to welcome Cikapasi in his family (and not just Enonoka independently asking Cikapasi to stay), our only two hints Tanigaki saying Cikapasi can use the rifle to repay Enonoka’s grandfather, implying the man will take care of him and Cikapasi staring at him and Enonoka and not just at Enonoka when he looked back with light in his eyes.

And yes, I know we can imagine it, same as we can imagine he wanted Ryu among his dogs… but the man is seriously underdeveloped as a character when this would have been the perfect chance to give him some space. It would have been great if it had turned out Asirpa knew of the man’s wish to adopt Cikapasi and that’s why she gave them those parts in the movie (instead than giving to Sugimoto the role of the hero again which was a relevant change for her).

So yes, I love how Cikapasi and Ryu found a place to stay they can call home but I think the story would have benefitted of more developments in regard to their interactions with the person welcoming them in their homes. Otherwise I feel that the story is just begging on my suspension of disbelief in exchange for them to get a nice house and this ruins my enjoyment of their choices.

Of course there’s a third alternative.

We never saw Enonoka’s grandfather interact with Cikapasi because there was no need to. Hokkaido Ainu feed orphaned children. Maybe Karafuto Ainu do the same hence if Cikapasi remains there, OF COURSE he’ll remain in the care of the Ainu village, which would explain why Tanigaki said ‘Henke and the rest of them’ and not just Henke.

Back in Hokkaido Makkanakkuru said Cikapasi was an odd child who didn’t socialize. Here he bonded with Enonoka.

Basically, Cikapasi’s family, wouldn’t be just Enonoka and her grandfather but the whole village.

Cikapasi is now able to give up on his wish to have parents to go back into the Ainu system in which the village would take care of him until he’s older.

His ‘odd’ behaviour was probably due to the trauma of losing the parents but now he has recovered and he can accept Enonoka’s Ainu community as a ‘family’, without longing anymore for what he can’t have back (his dead parents of whom Inkarmat and Tanigaki were just an ideal replacement).

It’s possible, but honestly I’m not sure about this interpretation either.

I guess coming from a different culture it’s hard for me to grasp Noda’s intended meaning. Maybe it’s a little of all of the above.

Anyway for this chapter is all, see you in the next!

#Golden Kamuy #Sugimoto Saichi #Asirpa #Enonoka #Cikapasi #Tanigaki Genjirou #Koito Otonoshin #Tsukishima Hajime #Shiraishi Yoshitake #Nihei Tetsuzou #Ryu #Golden Kamuy Ramblings and Theories

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yiriono · 5 years ago

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I ESPecially Like You

Description: One day Jaehyun walks in on his classmate, Taeyong, performing an exorcism.

!highschool au

!psychic au

A/n: Hey guys! This is a high school au Jaeyong fic. Hope you enjoy. Also cross posted on AO3 and AFF. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Beginning

The ongoing lecture fades into the background, as Jaehyun glances at the clock, eager for class to end. He’s bored, very bored, so bored, in fact he’s resulted to doodling on the corner of his textbook to pass time.

He’d never been a numbers guy, let alone a math person, but here he is anyways, sitting through calculus. Jaehyun didn’t plan on taking the class, considering he barely passed pre-calc, but it was his mom who convinced him to register.

“It’ll be good for your college applications,” she said, “You need to take a harsh course load”.

When he refused, she retaliated with incessant nagging, until Jaehyun eventually caved. She didn’t know the reason he was so hesitant was because it meant removing the class he actually wanted to take: Art.

He hasn’t told her, or anyone really, that he wanted to go to art school. It just didn’t seem like a feasible option, especially when his mom was dead set on his premed pathway. He tried to drop hints, like alluding to RISD’s prestige or talking about the vast career options available for creatives, but each time he gets the same reply. “You can’t make money as an artist, and it’s a dying career. You’re better off as a doctor.”

To that, he scoffs. If anything doctors will get replaced by robots, making med a dying career. But begrudgingly, he listens to her and adds calculus to his course load.

Now sitting here, as the teacher blabbers about derivatives, Jaehyun really regrets the decision. He doesn’t feel like paying attention, instead focusing on his drawing, which is beginning to look less of a doodle but more so a full out sketch. He’s adding contrast to the shadows when his mind drifts to the anime he started last night.

Mob Psycho. A story about an ordinary middle school boy who has special ESP powers.

It occurs to him that he’s an ordinary boy too. Maybe not in middle school but high school should be a fair substitute. What if he actually has powers that have laid dormant in him the whole time? What if, right?

Jaehyun wonders if he concentrates hard enough, maybe he could activate hidden abilities and make time move faster. It’s an immature delusion, but he’s desperate and bored enough to try.

First he clears his mind, before clenching the muscles in his arm, summoning this strange tension that spreads to his fingertips. He points his middle finger at the minute hand, and in one swift motion, moves it up.

As expected, nothing happens. The clock still beats its regular rhythm, continuing it’s dreadfully slow descent to 3pm. He sighs, dropping his hand in defeat. The only thing Jaehyun learns from class was that he has a bad case of eighth grade syndrome.

♥

When the bell finally rings, Jaehyun rushes for the door, only to be blocked by the lanky senior, Doyoung.

“Move” he wails, trying to squish through. But the other boy doesn’t budge.

“Where do you think you’re going”

“Home” Jaehyun retorts, again trying to squirm his way out.

“Oh no you aren’t” Doyoung chuckles. He yanks Jaehyun’s collar, and drags him out into the hall. The brunette tries to free himself, but Doyoung’s grip is firm. “Remember, you still owe me one.”

Jaehyun lets out a low whine. “Please not today”. More than anything, he wants to go home. The day, though mundane and ordinary, felt absolutely draining. What he needs to do right now is plop onto his bed, play his phone games, and recharge before spending the rest of the evening catching up on the wasted calculus lesson.

Unfortunately, the older boy isn’t at all sympathetic. “Lot’s of work to be done,” he says, completely ignoring Jaehyun’s plea, “It’s nearing exam season, so the student council is especially busy. You’re going to help us with the mountain of paperwork piling on my desk.”

Doyoung pinches his nose bridge, as he lets out this frustrated sigh. “I swear it never ends. Just when I think I’m done for the day, the administration needs us to do more.”

To this, Jaehyun can’t help but to feel sorry for the elder.

He’s weak, always has, at rejecting people’s requests, especially Doyoung’s. During freshman year, they shared a class together; the older had forgotten to take his mandatory art credit the year before, which resulted in being placed in a lower grade. The other boy, though irritatingly uptight, had grown to become one of Jaehyun’s best friends. So as much as he’s craving to rewind at home, he’d rather not have Doyoung work till death.

“Okay fine” he concedes.

Doyoung’s taken back, clearly not expecting Jaehyun to agree. He lets out a grating laugh, causing some heads to turn towards them, before his lips settle into a small smirk. “Good boy.”

Jaehyun groans at the reply. “Don’t make me change my mind” he warns, but with no resolution to enforce his words.

♥

By the time Jaehyun finally leaves school, the sun was beginning to set. Orange and purple hues spread across the sky, expansive and continuous like the sea. Slowly, the bustling town begins to retire: with shops flipping their open signs, cats returning to their homes, and children abandoning the park swings.

The walk home gives him mixed feelings. It’s strange seeing the once lively streets desolate. But at the same time, the emptiness is calming, giving Jaehyun the luxury of silence.

He’s about to reach the end of the block, when he hears this loud crash coming from the alley up ahead. It’s followed by a gruff yelp, and the sound of explosions, like those dramatic booms you hear in action movies.

An ominous feeling travels across Jaehyun’s body, causing him to shiver. He should probably turn back now and take another route, whatever's going on sounds like trouble. For all he knows, it's a gang fight or a mugging. He backs away, ready to run away, before he hears this shrill scream.

It’s a woman, and she sounds distressed.

This was probably a signal for him to get the fuck away, but Jaehyun can’t move. Not when someone’s in trouble. Every instinct in him is telling him to withdraw, but he doesn’t break. Instead, he takes a deep breath, before forcing himself to run up to the alley. His feet feel heavy, a sign of his body’s resistance, but he goes through with it anyways.

He’s standing near the entrance, expecting some grand crime to be occurring, but only to be greeted by darkness. But the screams are still ongoing, sounding even more twisted and pained than previously.

Jaehyun takes another step, when he notices something.

There, at the very back of the alleyway, is this boy wearing a red jacket, his face is covered by the hood. His arm is outreached, while his hand is bent in a way that looks like a claw. Jaehyun’s eyes trail up to the direction the boy’s facing, before he sees it.

The source of the eerie noises, also the most disgusting thing Jaehyun has ever seen: a tall, black figure, with what seems like human hands sticking from its sides. The thing suddenly leaps at the boy, but only for him to suddenly disappear, causing the monster to miss and slam right into the floor.

The boy in the red jacket then appears out of nowhere, before raising his arm, positioned in the same way Jaehyun had earlier in class, and flicks his wrist. This causes the black figure to be flung up: and when the boy moves his wrist down, accordingly, the figure is hurled back down. The thing momentarily stops moving, clearly worn out by the battle that’s transpired. Jaehyun watches, absolutely shocked, as the boy walks over to the figure while muttering something Jaehyun can’t make out, lifts his hand and snaps.

The disgusting creature vanishes. Gone. Vamoosh.

Jaehyun blinks hard, several times, but the thing really did disappear. He barely has time to process what had just happened when the boy in the red jacket lets out a satisfied chuckle, and bends over to pick up a blue backpack that was leaning against the brick wall. At some point during the fight, the hood had fallen off, revealing matching bright red hair that messily spikes all over the place. But in the dim lighting, Jaehyun can’t make out the boy’s face.

“Oh shit there’s garbage all over you” the boy mutters to his backpack, as he picks off the unwanted remnants that litter the bag.

It doesn’t strike Jaehyun that he’s been standing there in utter silence the whole time until the boy, who had been walking towards the exit, suddenly stops in his trail when he sees Jaehyun.

As a final departing gesture, the sun travels to where their standing, finally illuminating the murky alley. Nature exposes the boy, thrusting him away from the mask of darkness, revealing a very familiar face.

“Lee Taeyong?” Jaehyun exclaims.

It’s him alright. That unreal beauty and insanely sharp jawline could only belong to one person.

Taeyong lets out a brief gasp, before suddenly, he dissipates into thin air.

“What the fuck..”

Jaehyun looks around, but there’s not a trace of the other boy, just an emptiness and large garbage bins nestled at the end of the alleyway.

Bewildered, Jaehyun pinches himself. Hard.

“Ow”

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lifeawoke · 5 years ago

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ramble on about our fave's kid(s) please

if they had a kid ask meme - open !

i WILL and i will do it for all of them because i love the bezukhovs very much.

name: marya “masha” pyotrovna bezukhova (honestly should just be bezohova in my opinion but whatever)

gender: female

general appearance: dark hair, dark eyes, tanned skin. not particularly special looking, like both her parents honestly. nose that goes right down and ends with a curve rather than a point. 3a hair, never a hair out of place (thanks aunt marya). a little tall for a girl, average weight for her height.

personality: marya had a lot more say in masha’s raising so she takes after her a little bit. also, she’s the eldest of the bezukhovs, so she’s more strict and responsible than her siblings. she’s religious, not to the same point as marya, but where her dad’s a spiritual religious person & her mom’s a church-going, pray when something bad happens/you want something religious person, she’s more of both. not very artistic but smart and practical. knows a lot about politics from her dad. caring & protective, especially of her younger siblings. not soft spoken but not loud like her parents might be. will stand her ground though. more of an ambivert than anything, appreciates silence though. i love her

special talents: is the only one of the rostov-bezukhov kids to remember any english & often translates things, mostly political articles, for her parents/family.

who they like better: pierre, he’s a little more serious than natasha. but if she had to choose anyone ever it would be aunt marya or grandma natalya even.

who they take after more: pierre. facts. i kinda explained it earlier.

personal head canon: marya, like her aunt, is a lot like sonya. she has the most potential/reason to marry up or rich and leave the family, maybe even travel, but is far too dedicated to her family to leave before the youngest are grown up.

face claim: i hate this no

next kid !

gender: female

general appearance: a bit of an oddball, light brown hair, hazel, eyes, tanned skin. looks a lot like pierre, despite being a short little thing like natasha. has long arms though, something you wouldn’t really notice unless she points it out (and she will point it out to complain about them). a big mouth like natasha and more brown-ish lips, which she also hates. lisa also has “curly” hair, although its more of a wave so maybe 2b-2c. it suits her well enough, considering hair is mostly pulled back in her generation/time. a lil thicca than the rest of the litter. chubby cheeks that suit her round face. i’m kinda thinking a half-guatamalen e.liza s.canlen.

personality: was raised with a lot more freedom than masha, so a little less prim and proper. this was kinda the point where nat & pierre already knew they were gonna end up popping out kids the way disney pops out remakes so they kind of just went with the flow and got a lot more.. parenty with lisa. this didn’t mean much. she’s affectionate like natasha and passionate like pierre. doesn’t share his interests, though; lisa’s more of an athletic type. is a big complainer, which is sometimes endearing but less so the older she gets. fairly feminine but doesn’t have this obsession with boys and marriage the way her mother did and the way that girls were expected to. gets along well with her sister. more of an extrovert.

special talents: she’s an excellent horse rider, also says fuck side saddles because she heard a queen in denmark did it once and she’s only gotten better since.

who they like better: she’s freest around pierre & she loves that but she relates most to natasha, so it’s 45/55 tie honestly.

who they take after more: natasha; they both like riding (lisa more than nat) and both have personalities that demand to be seen in a mostly endearing way.

personal head canon: growing up lisa was probably closest to nikolai andreyevich, and you can see even as they grow up how close they are. there are even moments when lisa goes to coco before she goes to her own sister about something. it scares some guys off as lisa gets older but she doesn’t really mind.

face claim: if e.liza s.canlen was half gutamalen, i’d say her

the boy !!

gender: male

general appearance: okay you know o.scar i.saac? imagine him young, tall, and SKINNY. except not when he’s young, he’s a chubby kid and it’s the cutest thing. some pictures for reference. he also is p confident looking, if that makes sense. maybe not the long hair but maybe when he’s younger?

personality: mirrors his namesake a lot. young kid that’s just so weirdly mature it’s like... who are your parents bc it’s definitely not nat & pierre. except it is. he gets a lot of extra love from natasha who has been wanting a boy for so long so she could name him after petya. he’s a mama’s boy, #respectwomen, an intellectual like his dad. has a lot of the same problems as his dad in his youth– indecisive & sometimes hedonistic. i mean he grew up rich it does things to you. but i love him dearly. and he does find his purpose earlier than pierre did, finds love in government stuff, which he half gets from his dad and half from his older sister, who cared a l o t for him. is super close with marya, gets along well with lisa. he isn’t very sentimental though, although he has a soft side for his mom and eldest sister, he can be too objective for some people. an introvert but not shy.

special talents: he can knock out a novel a day if he wants to; his attention span is a mile long

who they like better: oh natasha. she loves that kid & he loves her

who they take after more: pierre ! petya admires pierre for sure and i can imagine pierre feels a lil more comfortable teaching his son about puberty nd sex and stuff than he does his daughter so i imagine they speak freely to each other

personal head canon: petya was even going to run off into the army like petya ilyich without knowing that his uncle did the same thing, but natasha caught him and explained to him what happened to her brother & he’s been jaded by the idea of fighting in a war ever since.

face claim: o.scar i.saac but half russian bhsbdj

the last one! in my head they have a lot more but we shall discuss them at a different time.

gender: female

general appearance: an oddball again, but less so. dark brown eyes and straight blonde hair. a skinny, long face and a very unique nose, one you don’t ever see– i’m thinking like a.licia v.ikander’s nose. it adds character to her already freckled face. her skin is many shades lighter than her father’s but she tans well and often. very feminine in appearance and dress but looks shy. very skinny, almost sickly skinny like her mom is. average height.

personality: more of the observing type. spoiled but not necessarily bratty (at least not compared to most rostovs growing up). enjoys the arts, especially performance ones, but doesn’t really enjoy being a part of them. she’s insecure like lisa is but isn’t as vocal about it, which gives this sad kind of air to her. she’s more religious like marya, almost soley because she spends the most time with marya. lives life slowly. very chill but clearly lacks purpose. not very comfortable with who she is as a person. ends up being very close to her parents because she would rather spend time with them than other kids.

special talents: she’s an excellent chef because she spends a lot of time in the kitchen (usually with grandma natalya until she died, then just on her own going through old recipes)

who they like better: probably natasha because she admires her outgoingness.

who they take after more: pierre ! doesn’t have his passion but has his slight awkwardness.

personal head canon: yeva grew up watching her father a lot, but felt the most embarrassed when he’d say something that wasn’t well-received. this proclivity towards second-hand embarrassment stops her form doing a lot & putting herself out there.

face claim: a.licia v.ikander’s nose on a much paler, freckled, and blonde a.dria a.rjona. it sounds weird but i think it?? kinda works for what i’m trying to get across

#soughtlove #♥ – » pyotr kirillovich bezukhov. trsl. петр кириллович безухов. » soughtlove.#their BABIES #save #i love them and their childrens

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miss-musings · 6 years ago

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“THE BLACKLIST” & WHY PEOPLE HATE LIZ SO MUCH

I’ve discussed on here several times how much I’ve been annoyed with the way TPTB have written Liz’s character over the course of the show. But, I tried to keep my frustration and annoyance directed more so at the writers/showrunners and less on the character herself or the actress Megan Boone.

However, after watching 6x10 “The Cryptobanker,” I think I may have finally hit the point where I really started to hate Liz in and of herself. So, I started writing this post, which I’ve added to and edited over the past few weeks, but I still stand by my original point.

Now, I follow the Blacklist on Facebook, and almost every single time there’s a new post, the top-voted comments are always praising Spader/Red and hating on Liz. I’ve seen people say she’s annoying, that they didn’t like this S6 plotline with her and her sister, that they hoped the show kills her off for real soon, etc.

I always thought that most of the comments were somewhat valid but maybe a little overblown (especially the ones about wanting her off the show). But, it really made me wonder why so many people hate -- and I mean HATE -- Liz so much.

While I admit that her character is starting to really get on my nerves, I’m going to try to put my personal feelings aside and tackle this objectively. I want to really look at what reasons within the show, its writing, its format, etc., Liz receives so much more hate -- vastly more than any other character on this show. As I said, Red/Spader is always highly praised along with Dembe, and I rarely if ever see comments complaining about Samar, Aram, Cooper and Ressler. I would guestimate that 95 percent of complaints about any one character are directed at Liz.

A THEORETICAL POSSIBILITY

Now, I will theorize -- and keep in mind that this is only a theory -- that part of the reason for this hatred toward Liz has to do with some male fans being misogynistic/sexist and some female fans’ annoyance at what a crappy avatar Liz makes for. (I’m talking about straight viewers, FYI.)

With regard to male fans, I think they look at Liz -- who at times has been terse, mean-spirited and vindictive -- and see her as a giant bitch. After all, that was the whole idea that Liz herself sets up in the pilot. She is not who her male colleagues expect her to be. She doesn’t play into the traditional feminine role of simpering, smiling and content to sit on the sidelines and let the men sort things out. (And, I’m really generalizing here.) So, I think it’s a fair assumption that some male fans have the same sentiments about Liz that her colleagues canonically have too.

As for the female fans, I think Liz might come off as a poor avatar. When you’re plunged into a fictional universe, usually there’s a character who’s plunged into the story along with you, and you learn as they do, to the point where you start to project yourself onto them. Think Neo in “The Matrix” or Harry Potter or Luke Skywalker. It’s every person’s fantasy to discover some great power within, harness it to defeat the bad guy and win the heart of the beautiful woman/handsome man in the process.

Liz was clearly meant to be our avatar into this universe. We were brought into the world along with her, saw her learn about Red, begin the Task Force, and plunge into this world of the FBI and the Blacklist.

Now, I imagine that for older women, especially, the fantasy is to be the kind of gal that a guy like James Spader would absolutely devote himself to. And that’s exactly how Red treats Liz -- like a woman he would do anything for. However, unlike many viewers, Liz is ungrateful for Red’s devotion and continual sacrifices for her benefit. Instead of seeing him as a savior and white knight, she often sees him as a nuisance and a terror in her life. I personally think she’s often justified in that, but I’d guess that 80 percent of the current audience is watching it simply for Spader’s performance alone. So, when the favorite actor’s character is not appreciated and is continually hated on by his co-lead character, it makes for uncompelling television from a “I want to project myself onto this character” kind of way.

But, with the theoretical discussion out of the way, let’s examine some more concrete reasons as to why people hate Liz.

LIZ IS OFTEN WISHY-WASHY (ie, has little conviction) WHEN IT COMES TO HER FEELINGS AND DESIRES.

This is what I’ve often described as the “Liz loves Red, Liz hates Red, Liz forgives Red” song-and-dance routine. But, there’s much more to it than simply Liz’s relationship with Red.

Liz was first introduced to us as a woman who wanted to start a family, and yet she thought about giving up her baby for adoption and then later gave Agnes away to her mother-in-law so she could spend more time on her revenge plans. The entire pilot goes out of its way to show Liz struggling with the demands of being an FBI agent and a prospective parent, and drives home the whole “Mommy Liz” vibe with the admiral’s daughter.

Yet, when she finds out she’s pregnant, she hesitates and thinks about giving it up for adoption. Then, when she has Agnes, she agrees to Kaplan’s plan to fake her death so she and Tom and Agnes can be happy and safe away from his world. And, later when Agnes gets kidnapped, she frets and worries about her constantly.

But, the minute she wakes up after being in a coma, she’s totally cool with pawning Agnes off to someone she’s never really met. Cool.

I realize there are mitigating circumstances, but this is a woman who made all her loved ones -- Red, Cooper, Ressler, Samar, Aram, any family members she had left (except Tom) -- believe she was dead so she could live with her daughter in a safe location!!!

The idea that Liz wouldn’t just drop everything and give up the Task Force indefinitely to heal and spend time with her daughter after losing 10 months of time with her is absurd, IMO.

But, no, revenge is far more important.

It’s also really annoying that after finding out Tom had betrayed her, she was able to give him a second chance and continued to love him despite all sorts of stuff in Seasons 2-5, but the minute Red does anything, she wants to drop him like heavy airline luggage.

So, in case you forgot: in S1, she found out that Tom had been lying to her, manipulating her, and abusing her. So, after shooting him in the S1 finale, she chains him up on a boat for several months in an effort to make him useful to the Task Force. However, the minute that she hits the “hates Red” part of her “love Red, hate Red, forgive Red” cycle, she runs right back to Tom and very quickly forgives him. And, while her positive feelings for Tom continue from late S2b until his death in 5x08, her feelings about Red are all over the place, as mentioned.

Now, in her defense, her feelings about him seem to waver whenever a crucial piece of information about his involvement in her life is discovered. When Tom’s fake passports were traced back to Red in 1x06, she blamed him and said she didn’t want to work with him anymore. But, then the very next episode, when he offers to leave the Task Force completely, she doesn’t tell him to do so.

And, when Red admitted to killing Sam toward the end of S1, she was again ready to let him leave. But then at the end of the episode, she stops him.

In S2, when Liz believes that Red was only interested in her for the Fulcrum, and never really cared about her, she gives him the cold shoulder. And then when he admits that he did hire Tom to be in her life, her coldness toward him again grows.

While they’re on the run together in S3, their relationship is at its best, arguably. Until she finds out she’s pregnant and he tells her that the fight is not over, and she doesn’t want her child to be in Red’s world. (Which is understandable)

And on and on it goes through S4 and S5 and now S6. The minute Liz realizes that he stole her father’s identity, she’s ready to burn him to the ground. But then only a few episodes later, she’s teary-eyed and regretting that she turned him into the authorities.

AS OPPOSED TO RED’S ...

But, what really makes this all so annoying is the fact that while Liz’s feelings toward Red are cyclical, his feelings for her are constant, enduring, and never wavering. I mean, he’s basically Garth Brooks’ “Shameless” in human form. He is completely devoted to her, would give his life for hers without hesitation, and has loved her (in some form or another) far longer and far deeper than she has seemingly ever loved him.

If both of them liked each other, or if both of them disliked each other initially but then grew closer over time, the show would be much better. For instance, ABC’s Castle -- while it definitely has its flaws -- started off with the two leads liking each other from the start. Yeah, maybe they’re trying to get used to each because he’s a goofball and she’s kind of a hard ass, but it seems like by the end of the pilot, they both generally like each other as acquaintances.

Or NBC’s “The Enemy Within” -- which is eerily similar to TBL and I’ll have to do a whole post on their similarities some other time -- which starts off with the two leads being tenuous with each other. He hates her, and she is kind of neutral toward him, but the two of them need to cooperate to accomplish a shared goal.

This was never the case with Liz and Red on TBL. In the pilot, Liz is very wary of Red, as she should be. However, he -- according to Zamani -- is obsessed with her, and it’s clear that he cares about her far more than he should. To our knowledge, Red has never met adult Liz. He’s seen her from afar and kept tabs on her, of course, but this was the first time he’d met her (presumably) since The Night of the Fire. And from that meeting, his love has only grown, while hers -- as discussed -- has been all over the place.

THE TWO ARE NOT EQUAL

As I’ve said in previous posts, while the show wants Red and Liz to be partners, they are really so unequal on multiple levels. The same could be said of the two leads on “The Enemy Within, but their inadequacies tend balance each other out. She has all the know-how, but he has the freedom and jurisdiction to do things, and he is the one who ultimately makes the decision on what his team should tackle and how. She has some of the power in their dynamic, and he has some as well. Thus, their advantages tend to cancel each other out.

This is not the case with Red and Liz. All this time, Red has withheld crucial pieces of information from her, which he gives to her in piecemeal and only when she demands them. I won’t judge whether that’s the right or wrong thing to do, but it puts her at a disadvantage as far as their dynamic goes. And while Liz should be given some advantage of her own, she really doesn’t have one. Red has an immunity agreement and gets to do pretty much whatever he wants, unlike on “The Enemy Within” where the male FBI agent has some say over what privileges the female CI has because she’s still in custody.

I guess the one advantage that Liz has over Red is that he’s told her he will never lie to her. And she has confronted him and asked him direct questions before because she knows he *has* to tell her to truth if she does. But, that doesn’t stop him from stalling, changing the subject, or trying to do a verbal workaround.

And then, when the show was promoting S6, they made it seem like the power was finally in Liz’s hands -- she knows he’s an impostor and he doesn’t know that she knows.

But, while the show tried to give Liz a bit of an edge over Red, it ultimately fizzled out. She knows he’s an impostor, but she no longer has an interest in pursuing it. Which goes back to my previous point about her not having conviction. She wanted to destroy Red, and betrayed him to ensure that he wouldn’t get in the way of her and Jennifer’s quest to find out his true identity. But then, she drops it.

Again, I realize there was a lot going on -- Jennifer was kidnapped; Red was almost executed. And while I think the fact that, right now, she’s fine with not having all the answers is a sign a maturity, it’s also incredibly frustrating to see how she went from 0 to 100 in such a short span of time.

Anyway... moving on to my next major point:

LIZ DOESN’T FEEL LIKE A REAL PERSON

Relative to the screentime she’s received, Liz does not feel like a real person, but merely a plot device or a vehicle for Red’s schemes and/or the Task Force’s missions.

Very rarely do we get to see her on her own, doing her own things, outside of Red/the Task Force -- going to the store, doing chores at home, hanging out with her kid, etc. The only times we do are when it’s relevant to the overall plot. Like when she gets beat up in the parking lot in 3x11 or when she brings that Lady Ambrosia kid over to her house, tries to cook him something, and then the fire alarm goes off.

She seems solely to exist within Red’s/the Task Force’s orbit.

I feel like the fact that Liz doesn’t have any friends or family outside of the Task Force, Red and Tom (when he was alive), really speaks to how she seems to exist more as a character, not as a person within a fictional universe.

She doesn’t seem to have any hobbies, and outside of her mentioning the Wizard of Oz and a few other things, she doesn’t really seem to have any interests in anything.

By comparison, we have lots of scenes with Red and Dembe, doing puzzles, playing cards and board games. We know Red enjoys art and food/alcohol and traveling, and he has a penchant for some types of drugs -- his favorite being sex.

And even Aram enjoys Doctor Who, biking and cooking.

I’m not saying that Liz needs to start chatting with Ressler about Monday Night Football or playing pool at some local dive bar, but something! Just a line about how she Skyped with Agnes last night, or her talking to Samar or Aram about her trying to decide whether she should download Tinder and try to get back into the dating scene, or a scene of her running around a park but she’s disturbed by memories from her past. Just something. Something to make her feel like a real person, who does things outside of the Task Force.

Again, I always hate the fact that Liz was supposed to have all these friends in S1 (the house party at the end of 1x03 and the vow renewal later in S1), and yet, they seemed to have vanished. I hate the fact that Liz doesn’t have any support system outside of Red and the Task Force. The girl needs friends! Hobbies! Interests! Something!!!

LIZ TRIES TOO HARD TO PROVE HERSELF, GETS IN TROUBLE, AND OFTEN NEEDS TO BE RESCUED BY RED AND/OR THE TASK FORCE AS A RESULT

This gets into a personal pet peeve of mine where Liz reassures people that she can do things. In the most recent case, she told her sister that she was definitely capable of deceiving Red and keeping him from finding out that she knows.

But then within the episode or two, Red definitely knows that Liz is up to something because she has been acting weird around him. And, before she begs Dembe not to tell Red that she was the one who betrayed him, Red was pretty certain that she was the one who did. I would suggest that the minute he was arrested, he had a good suspicion it was her. Hence why he said that what he would do to his betrayer would depend on who they were. He was hedging his bets, in case it was Liz.

Liz and Jennifer kept going back and forth on trying to convince the other that they could pull off this “Find Red’s true identity” side-plot, but ultimately, Jennifer got kidnapped, Liz killed a dude, and ended up having to recruit Ressler and Red to help her find Jennifer and confront the people who took her.

This type of situation happens A LOT on the show. Liz will try to do her own thing (finding Red’s true identity, etc.) and it ultimately gets her into trouble. It seemed to happen more often in S1-3. One example I can think of was when she didn’t kill Tom, but instead captured and imprisoned him, and then he killed the Harbormaster and forced Liz to face charges for murder. Red and the Task Force and even Tom had to come to her rescue to make sure she didn’t face the consequences of her choices. Yes, Tom did kill the Harbormaster, but Liz was the one who had decided to chain him up on the boat in the first place. The murder is on him, but the imprisoning is on her.

Liz also killed the Attorney General, and Red and the Task Force (and Tom, once again) were ultimately responsible for saving her from the Director’s plot while she was trapped in The Box, bringing the Cabal’s actions to light, using the Director as the scapegoat for Hitchen and then getting Liz out of the murder charges by bringing in Karakurt. And then, later, Red was responsible for leveraging the President into pardoning her so that she could become an agent again.

Now, there have been a few occasions where Liz was kidnapped simply because she was an FBI agent, not because of her connection to Red or anything else. For instance, in 1x04 “The Stewmaker,” she’s kidnapped and almost killed because she had her own personal history with that Lorca guy.

But, again, too many times Liz is put in the “damsel in distress” position where either she’s in trouble or her life is threatened and others have to be the ones to save her, either by saving her life or by saving her from legal repercussions, etc.

In a way, this whole S6a has been the consequence of Liz’s actions, which she regretted and then was looking for any and all help to make sure Red wasn’t executed after she’d turned him in. Yes, Red was the one who insisted on the death penalty, but he never would’ve been in that situation if she hadn’t betrayed him. And ultimately, it was Cooper who came through and pressured the President into staying Red’s execution.

Going back to the “Red and Liz aren’t equals” thing, very rarely is Red the one who needs saving. And, even when he is, it isn’t always Liz who’s rescuing him. Again, Cooper was the one who saved Red from execution. Liz has saved him a few times that I can recall -- she stopped that guy from shooting him in 2x14 and she leveraged the Director into calling off the hit in 2x19.

But, again, Liz seems to be in trouble far more often than Red is, and she very rarely is able to save herself (with the solo-Liz episode being one of the few times she does). Meanwhile, Red is able to get out of jams on his own much more often, such as when he escapes Anslo in 1x10. And, he and the Task Force save her far more often than Liz and the Task Force save him. And, even then, sometimes Red saves her single-handedly (like in the S2 Super Bowl episode) while she usually has to work with others to save him.

Once again, I realize there are a lot of mitigating circumstances. Red has a vast criminal empire and more knowledge and resources than Liz does, most of the time. But, I do wish that 1) Liz wouldn’t be kidnapped or have her life/livelihood threatened so often and 2) that Red’s would be a tiny bit more frequently, so that *she* can save *him.*

It also doesn’t help that she was sidelined in S3b partly because she was a felon who was no longer able to be an agent on the Task Force and because both Liz the character and Megan Boone the actress were pregnant. And then she was sidelined again in S4a because of the whole felon thing / trying to get Agnes back.

TL;DR

I believe the reasons why people hate Liz are similar to why people hate Sakura from the “Naruto” Universe (as YouTube channel SwagKage describes in this video):

Liz doesn’t get the character development she should relative to her screentime; and any development she does get seems to be cyclical and inconsistent. (ie, she acts however the writers need her to for the given arc/episode)

Liz often tries to do her own thing, despite warnings not to; and while she’s by no means useless to Red or the Task Force, she often has to be rescued (either directly or indirectly) far more than she does the rescuing.

Liz often acts demanding, ungrateful, and selfish -- or at least relative to how the audience might want her to act, especially with regard to Red. And, jumping off the second point, also has a bit of an ego and can be proud and willful, which as I theorized, might be a turn-off for some male viewers.

Also, the Lizzington shipper in me could point out the parallels between Sakura liking Sasuke (who was a giant dick to her) and hating Naruto (who was constantly helping her out) and Liz’s dynamics with Tom and Red, respectively, but I’ll leave you all to watch the video for yourself.

Overall, I think some of the reasons for hating Liz are valid, but as I said, I *try* not to direct my annoyance toward the character of Liz herself or Megan Boone, the actress, but rather the writers, who I feel need to take responsibility for what they’ve done and continue to do with this character.

Don’t take this to say that I hate the writers, but rather that I want them to do better. I want to see this show succeed and I want to see Megan have some amazing material to work with the same way that James seems to with Red.

I’ll say it again: I don’t hate this show; I merely want to offer up my criticisms and objective-ish insights into why I think people hate Liz so much. In that way, we fans can have a discussion and perhaps maybe the writers will take some of our points to heart.

For my next major TBL post, I’ll try to tackle the similarities between TBL and The Enemy Within. :D

#lizzington #reddington #raymond reddington #liz keen #elizabeth keen #the blacklist #nbc the blacklist #nbc blacklist #blacklist #james spader #megan boone #harold cooper #donald ressler #samar navabi #aram mojtabai #red reddington #masha rostova

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eclecticminded · 6 years ago

Text

Stripping Bare

@madpanda75 asked: Ok! I finally picked an idea for the giveaway story request! What if you’re working undercover as a stripper during a stakeout and Barba (who you’ve always had a thing for) sees the footage which leads to the two of you hooking up 😉 Maybe the reader shows Barba some of her moves??

Girl yes! This was fun to write, and makes me want to invest in a pole for my fat ass. Here we go! Hope you like!

Words: 1940

You go undercover as a stripper, Rafael likes what he sees.

Warnings: Sex. Brief mention of torture and murder. Creep guys.

Tags: @southsiderepresent @glimmerglittergirl @madpanda75 @southern-magnolia @katmstanton @esparza-army @sweetsummertime99 @obfuscateyummy @lifeisbetterwithbarba @lyssa1385 @hux-me-up @bowieisawizard @sleepylunarwolf @mrsrafaelbarba anyone else ask! Also I have a Kofi (link in blog description) if anyone wants to donate!

When you took the pole dancing for fitness class while in college, you never expected to love it so much. Never expected to have one installed in your apartment. And you sure as hell never expected to be going under cover as one. But you had the skill set and could kick ass, so here you were. Ricky Rogers, Double R as he was known on the street, owned a less than reputable strip joint. He was selling his girls to be a part of torture snuff films, and one of them barely made it. Barely.

Elise was no longer able to speak but she wrote pages upon pages of what happened to her, and what dirty dealing Double R was up to. Only problem, you needed cold hard facts, not just her words. Fin was trying to use his old vice connections to get a girl to go under for the squad, but no one wanted to work Double R’s joint. That’s where you came in.

It started off as a joke, you mentioned you took a pole dancing class and befor you knew it you were out buying pasties and fishnets. Fin went undercover with you as a patron, you had a camera in the necklace you wore, but he was there for back up and additional surveillance. He was essentially your handler. Every night you worked, Fin got a private lap dance and you updated each other on the situation.

Rumor had it that Double R was posting about having a new perky toy for sale, and wouldn’t you know it, the ad fit your description. After that night you noticed Nick, Mike, and Sonny occasionally in the crowd. All four men had camera glasses, and Liv was watching nearby with Amanda. Hell even Rafael was there, making sure everything was by the book. At least that’s what he said; really he wanted to see you in action.

Towards closing before your set, Double R told you there was a special private dance for you after you left stage. It was go time. Once you were on stage with Lana Del Rey blaring around you, that stress faded away. For the next thirty minutes you got to live it up one last time. You spun around the pole teasing the audience, getting them ready. Climbing to the top of the pole, you slowly slide down while money fell around you.

Once you were back on the ground, you bent over, grasping the pole and shaking your ass. With a leap and a little luck, your legs held you up while you leaned backwards and spun slowly. The bright flashing lights made you dizzy and you dropped to your knees during your second to last song. Fin caught your eye and you sexily crawled towards him, he raised and eye when you pulled him forward by his tie.

“I’m meeting a special client after this, its go time,” you whispered in his ear and he nodded.

“Liv says be careful and remember we got your back,” he tucked a few ones in your thong and you went back to performing for the crowd. As you put on your grand finale, you saw Mike head to the bathrooms, and back entrance. Nick was hanging by the private dance booths. Sonny was by the front at the bar. And Fin stood his ground next to the stage.

After you were off stage and the money tucked away safe, Double R came for you. His grip was rough and made your skin crawl. Every instinct said to punch him and run, but you pushed forward. Had to keep all the other girls safe that could fall into his trap. He pulled you past Nick, past Mike even, and out the back door and shoved you into a waiting SVU. It pulled off and you internally panicked.

“Even better in person,” a venomous voice called from the dark, it made you want to vomit.

“You must be my private dance, can’t do much in here baby,” you batted your eyes and calmed when you saw the van holding Olivia, Amanda, and Rafael follow you. Behind them were the guys and you knew you’d be fine.

“Thought we’d take this somewhere more private,” the greasy man licked his lips and your stomach turned. What a gross slimy mother fucker! He pulled you onto his lap and you spent the ride grinding against him, trying not to throw up.

Thankfully it was a short drive to a warehouse, upon entering you knew it was his torture chamber. Cameras, medical equipment, medieval torture devices, and the like all lined the floor space. There was even an audience. Perfect, you’d get to bring down more skeevy motherfuckers.

“What the hell is this,” you popped your hip and tried to form a plan, “I wasn’t told about an audience.”

“Doesn’t matter what you want,” the man gripped your hair in a panful fist and jerked you to the table. You were strapped onto an exam table and people circling when they finally burst in to save you. It all went by in a blur. You were freed, people arrested, and Rafael had you in a NYPD wind breaker.

“Saved this one for you,” Fin had the skeevy man on his knees and handed you a pair of cuffs.

“What took you so long,” you glared.

“Had to wait for SWAT, they were dragging their feet,” Fin laughed.

“Figures, probably jacking off to my dancing,” you rolled your eyes and read the man his rights. It took several hours but everyone was processed and awaiting arraignment, it was Friday night and they had to wait until Monday. Perfect, it meant you got a break.

After the initial checks in, everyone gave you space to decompress. Except for Rafael, but you didn’t mind; you’d had a thing for him since you’d met. He insisted on riding home with you. Insisted that while you showered he run around the corner for takeout. Hell he nearly invited himself to spend the night, he didn’t like that you’d been put in a position to almost be hurt. He had a thing for you too, not that you knew.

The trial flew by and everything back to normal, Elise was thankful you’d avenged her and you were back to dancing on your own pole. You and Rafael had grown closer since the operation, best friends even. Neither of you admitting to the other your feelings, afraid it’d ruin what you had.

One night you dropped past his office to ask if he wanted to grab a late dinner and you caught him with his pants down. Literally. He was at his desk, cock in his hand, jacking off to something on his computer. You both stared at each other frozen while Lana Del Rey played from his computer.

“Are you jacking off to me stripping Rafi,” your hand clamped over your eyes while he put himself away.

“Noooo,” he slammed his laptop shut and fumbled with his pants.

“You can’t lie to me,” you peeked at him.

“Maaayyybbbeee,” he was reduced to one word responses from the embarrassment of being caught.

“Ah screw it,” you marched across the room to him and kissed him. His stubbled cheeks were rough against your palms, his lips soft and warm.

“You’re not slapping me,” Rafael raised an eyebrow when you pulled away, clearly confused.

“Nope,” you pecked his lips again, “I like you Rafael. Like like you. I want to fuck you.”

“You what,” his eye widened and you started back peddling.

“Forget I said anything,” you stumbled backwards to escape, but he pulled you back to him.

“I want you too,” he kissed you, his hands roaming your body, gripping and grabbing whatever he could latch on to.

“I came to ask you to dinner,” you panted, “But I don’t want food anymore.”

“Food after,” he nipped your neck.

“Come on Rafi,” you rushed him through grabbing his things, “I’m giving you a private dance.”

The mood was set with Christmas lights and flickering candles while Lana Del Rey played. You came strutting out in tall black heels, a fishnet body suit, red thong, and heart shaped nipple tassels. Rafael nearly came in his pants right then and there. Using the pole to hold you up, you spread your legs and danced down to squatting. A quick turn and you were standing up, your ass shaking in his face. He grabbed at your hips and you swatted him away.

“No touching,” you pulled away and jumped onto the pole to spin. Holding yourself up with your thighs, you humped the pole and palmed your chest.

“You interrupted me before I finished,” Rafael growled, “I want to taste you.”

“Come get it,” you dropped to the ground and leaned backwards against the pole. Rafael dropped to the ground in front of you and spread your legs. Staring into your soul, he ripped the fishnets and pushed the thong aside. His broad tongue lapped up and down your folds, sending shivers up your spine.

“Hold on,” he demanded and lifted your leg to lay over his shoulder. You gripped the pole behind you to stay upright, the other hand tight in his hair while he ate you to completion. He was spinning you around the second your foot hit the floor, his pants dropped, and the sound of a condom being ripped open made you smirk.

“Fuck me papi,” you wiggled your ass and he did just that. He slipped into you so effortlessly; it was like you were made for each other. He hammered into you and you pushed back on him, giving as good as you got. While you held onto the pole for dear life, one of his hands bruised your hip and the other rubbed furiously at your swollen bundle of nerves. All too soon he was cumming, but his fingers didn’t stop until you were clenching around him.

“Rafi,” you were drawing circles on his chest while you laid in a heap on your living room floor. Half eaten take out was on the coffee table while you recovered from round two. Or was it three?

“Yes,” he kissed your temple.

“I don’t want this to be a onetime thing,” you sat up abruptly, “I want all of you.”

“I’m yours. All of me. As long as I get all of you too,” he pulled you back down against him.

“Of course,” you breathed a sigh of relief.

“You gave Fin really bad dances,” Rafael was laughing hysterically.

“I wasn’t trying to fuck Fin,” you poked his side and reached for your phone, “But if you think I should give him a better show…”

“Don’t you dare,” he snatched your phone and threw it onto the sofa, “You’re mine.”

“What was that,” you played innocently.

“You. Are. Mine,” each word was punctuated with a hard bite to your neck, chest, and stomach. He kept the bites and chanting of ‘mine’ up until you relented.

“You’re mine too,” you growled and attacked his neck with bites and sucking.

“No private dances for anyone else,” Rafael was back to his sweet self.

“Of course not,” you stood up and stretched, reaching for a forgotten container of rice.

“I need a shower,” he groaned as he climbed to his feet beside you.

“Shower and cuddles,” you dropped the rice to the table.

“Sounds perfect,” he helped you gather the leftovers and followed you to the shower. You never expected the pole dancing class to bring you the love of your life, but here you were.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanfic #law and order special victims unit #law and order special victims unit fanfic #law and order special victims unit imagine #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #law and order svu imagine #svu imagine #svu fanfic #mine #my writing

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