#then again it never aired in the us either except for in hawaii

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Hi! Do you know if the moomin 90s anime ever was dubbed in portuguese?

I literally googled "moomins portugues" and someone has uploaded the entire first season of the anime with portuguese subs (it appears to be fansubs too)

So, from my understanding, it has not been dubbed, but there is a community dedicated enough to write subtitles for every episode, and all of them are up on youtube.

Also I found this video and I don't understand a thing, but since I do understand some spanish that has some similarities, they talk about the "magical world of Tove" (Jansson) ?

So, yeah, there is a portuguese community for it at least, but dubbed I don't think so.

[papermoonloveslucy]

THE FACE IS FAMILIAR… BUT I CAN’T PLACE THE NAME!

Same Actor / Different Character ~ Part 3: “Here's Lucy"

It used to be quite common for actors to be cast in multiple roles on the same series. Not in principal parts, certainly, but in supporting and minor characters. Lucycoms were no exception. Although the world created by these shows was representative of reality, the characters who populated them often gave viewers Deja vu. By the time "Here's Lucy" premiered in 1968, Lucille Ball had developed a repertory company of actors that she used time and time again.

For the purposes of this discussion, we won't include background performers (aka extras) as they were nearly always drawn from the same pool of actors. Also, those who played multiple characters need to have at least one of them identified by name.

MARY WICKES

Lucille Ball's good friend tops the list of actors who played multiple roles, with seven characters in nine appearances. When the series premiered, she played a secretary friend of Lucy Carter's named Isabel in two episodes. Perhaps there was no room for Isabel, so she disappeared, but Wickes did not! Due to the fact that she played a nurse in her breakout role in The Man Who Came to Dinner (both stage and screen), she also played several nurses. She even showed up as Lucy's sister-in-law, a nun, another type that she was often cast as in films. In addition, she was a maid to an eccentric dowager, a Montana matriarch, and a nosy neighbor.

JACK COLLINS

Collins' six appearances span from season one in 1968 to the series finale in 1974. He played secret agent Johnson, expectant father Mr. Phillips, Vincent Price's producer Curt, Harry's eye optometrist Dr. Proctor, Harry's accountant Arthur Collins, and Harvey Stevens, proprietor of Harvey's Welcome Inn. Perhaps Collins is best compared to versatile actor Charles Lane on "I Love Lucy"?

CAROLE COOK

Lucy's protege is back with more interesting characters - five of them, to be exact. She started the series as a wacky woman in Carol Burnett's audience, played crusading neighbor Sheila Casten, bridge club member Lillian Rylander, gangster Ma Parker, and Cynthia Duncan, a Lucille Ball look-alike. Ma Parker was by far Cook's largest and most adventurous role on the series.

IRWIN CHARONE

Charone made five appearances on “The Lucy Show” and an equal number of “Here’s Lucy” episodes. Mr. Garfield of the Nippy Whippy Whipped Cream Company , dog owner Mr. Farnsworth, neighbor Chester P. Franklin, a permit office clerk, and college dean Phillips.

ROY ROBERTS

Roberts made an impact as Mr. Cheever on "The Lucy Show." His first appearance on "Here's Lucy" was as the Superintendent of the Air Force Academy in a two-part season opener filmed on location. He returned as a NASA's Dr. Jensen in "Lucy and the Astronauts" (1971), Warden Maginetti when "Lucy Goes To Prison" (1973), and Dr. Honeycutt when "Lucy is N.G. as an R.N." (1974).

RHODES REASON

Reason was a handsome leading man type who easily played a variety of roles from 1968 to 1973: Bradley Henshaw, Jim Simpson, Sam Toliver, Lieutenant Egan, and Keith Davidson.

ROBERT CARSON

Carson was a busy Canadian-born actor. While he never played supporting roles, he wasn't just an extra either. On "Here's Lucy" he played Martin Philips, Buzzy Brock, Sergeant Lou Holmes, and Officer Hurlow.

ROBERT ALDA

Alda (father of Alan) was best known for originating the role of Sky Masterson on Broadway in Guys and Dolls (1950). He did four episodes of "Here's Lucy," the first as himself, hosting the Secretary Beautiful Contest. The role was originally written for Don Ameche, then re-cast with Ross Martin, before Alda was finally given the part.  He got to use his musical theatre skills singing the pageant’s theme.  He put his musical skills to use again as Dean Butler in "Lucy, the Co-Ed" (1970). He also sang as Captain MacClay in a two-parter set on a cruise ship to Hawaii.

WALLY COX

Cox had come to the nation's attention as Mr. Peepers. On "Here's Lucy" he played ex-con safecracker Rock Barnett, wimpy Wally Manley, diamond cutter Gustav Vandermeer, and toy tycoon Tommy Tucker.

DORIS SINGLETON

Singleton created the role of Caroline Appleby on “I Love Lucy.” She was slated to appear as Doris, a secretary colleague of Lucy's, on "Here's Lucy," but the role was eliminated after the first episode. She returned, however, for three more appearances, all as secretaries to the stars: Petula Clark's secretary Miss Perkins, Eddie Albert's secretary Patty, and Lucille Ball's secretary Doris, a role modeled after Ball's own secretary Wanda.

WILLIAM LANTEAU

William Lanteau was a theatre actor who was most famous for playing Charlie the Mailman in On Golden Pond. His theatrical background surely helped him disguise himself in his four roles on "Here's Lucy". Unlike past guest actors, he looks significantly different in each one: Mr. Sherwood, a supermarket manager; Mr. Minkle, building superintendent; Spike, Ginger Rogers' secretary; and Edgar St. Vincent Kinkaid, antiques store manager.

DICK PATTERSON

Patterson was seen by Lucille Ball performing on stage and cast on "The Lucy Show." He continued his relationship with the redhead on "Here's Lucy" where he played computer matchmaker Mr. Morton (Ball's real surname), TV host Dick Dunkirk, Joe Namath's football coach Hennessy, and director of Lucy's pickle commercial Steve Thompson.

RETA SHAW

Shaw was a star of stage and screen (big and small) and Lucille Ball enjoyed working with her. This time, in the series' third episode, she played Mabel Ryker, using the same first name she had in The Pajama Game on stage and screen. She played Rita Forrester in "Lucy and The Group Encounter" (1972), and Mrs. Witherspoon, Lucy's prospective new boarder in "Lucy's Tenant" (1973).

LOLA FISHER

Fisher understudied and replaced Julie Andrews on Broadway in the musical My Fair Lady.  She was seen as in "Lucy's Working Daughter" (1968), as Mrs. Pomeroy in "Lucy in the Jungle" (1971), and Bunny in "Lucy and the Franchise Fiasco" (1973).

CLIFF NORTON

Norton played Sam the Plumber who's overalls turn up on Richard Burton. He was an undercover detective looking for scalpers in an episode starring O.J. Simpson. Lastly, he got title billing in "Mary Jane's Boyfriend", playing accident prone Walter Butley.

BEN WRIGLEY

Wrigley was a British actor who appeared in My Fair Lady (1964) and Bednobs and Broomsticks (1971). so he was a natural to play butlers to Liberace and Jack Benny. He also played Homer Pomeroy in "Lucy in the Jungle" (1971).

BRUCE GORDON

Gordon was best known for playing gangster Frank Nitti in the Desilu television series "The Untouchables" (1959-63), a role he satirized on "The Lucy Show". He trades on that reputation again as Doc Porter in "Lucy and the Ex-Con" and Rocky in "Dirty Gertie", another organized crime scenario. For a change of pace, he played Grandfather Konstantine Kasos in "Lucy's Wedding Party."

ELLIOTT REID

Reid's work with Lucy goes back to "I Love Lucy". Here he plays three roles: Detective Harvey Gaines, Sammy Davis Jr.'s Director, and the host of Milton Berle's telethon.

PHIL VANDERVOORT

Vandervoort was (briefly) Lucille Ball's son-in-law and Lucy believed in keeping it in the family, casting her children, her husband, and her cousin-in-laws on the series. Vandervoort, a handsome young man, makes only three appearances but each one is made to look dramatically different, perhaps to obscure his leading man good looks. He plays Kim and Craig's musician friend Steve (the most 'normal' of his appearances), computer geek Joe Hackley, and beaded handman Tommy.

BARBARA MORRISON

Morrison returns to play two more imposing and imperious women: Harry's date Lady Agatha Warren, and finicky shopper Mrs. Murdock. With many other members of Lucy's acting company, she turns up as a diner in the series' penultimate episode.

HARRY HICKOX

Hickox was best known for playing anvil salesman Charlie Cowell in the 1962 film The Music Man. He played a drill sergeant on "The Lucy Show". He played three different policemen on “Here’s Lucy.”

BILLY SANDS

Sands played Mr. Larson, Lucy's milkman, in two episodes, but he also played Billy the bookie in a third appearance.

DON CRICHTON

Crichton was a dancer on "The Carol Burnett Show" and also did small roles, just as he did on "Here's Lucy". He danced in the series premiere, and then acted, playing Don in "Lucy, The Conclusion Jumper" (1968), and Steve in "Lucy, The American Mother" (1970).

LEW PARKER

Parker, best known as Marlo Thomas' father on "That Girl", was seen on the very first episode of "Here's Lucy" in 1968 as Mr. Caldwell. He returned in 1971 as Mr. Adams, the manager of an All-Nun Band.

LYLE TALBOT

Talbot, a veteran film actor, played Harry's Lawyer and his best pal from Bullwinkle U, Freddy Fox.

JACK MANNING

Manning played Mr. Walters, the manager of the showroom presenting teen idol Donny Osmond as well as Mr. Hubbell, a ceramics store owner who runs art classes, both during season 5.

RICHARD DEACON

Deacon was one of Desilu's favorites, appearing on "The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour," "The Mothers-In-Law" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show." For "Here's Lucy" he played unemployment office worker (with show biz aspirations) Harvey Hoople, and Loan Officer Elmer Zellerbach.

ALAN OPPENHEIMER

Oppenheimer played the part of the previously unknown Uncle Herb Hinkley, Lucy's brother. He then turned up as Lucy's doctor, Dr. Matt Parker.

OTHERS WHO 'HIT A DOUBLE'

Robert L. Stevens (River Guide / Alan Stevens)

James Brodhead (Tilford / Mr. Miller)

Mike Howden (Ski Instructor / Flight Attendant)

Ivor Barry (Producer / French Chef)

Hal Dunlop (Major Dunlop / Mr. Greenway)

R.G. Brown (Office Manager / Walter, Eva Gabor's Assistant)

Ernest Sarracino (Mr. Nicoletti / Tony)

Cecil Gold (Fred / Cecil)

Jimmy Bates (Clarence / Billy Joe Jackson)

Robert Hogan (Captain Perry / Jack Lucas)

Johnny Silver (Mountie / Benny)

Jody Gilbert (King Kong Woman / Prison Matron)

Ed Hall (Officer Egan / Numbers Smith)

Marc Lawrence (Joe Grapefruit / Ruby)

Florence Lake (Little Old Lady / Trixie)

Eddie Quillan (Cabbie / Mr. Jackson)

Al Checco (Detective Bobby / Dr. Crawford)

Dick Winslow (Harvey / Nightclub Emcee)

Susan Tolsky (Sue Ann Ditbenner / Miss Quigley)

CELEBRITIES WHO DID 'DOUBLE DUTY'

CAROL BURNETT (Carol Krausmeyer / Herself)

MILTON BERLE (Cheerful Charlie / Himself)

ROBERT CUMMINGS (Bob Collins / Bob Henning)

EVA GABOR (Eva Von Graunitz / Herself)

PAUL WINCHELL (Carlo the Tailer / Little Old Jeweler & The Great Pierre Barmarche)

ED MCMAHON (Ed McAllister / Himself)

LUCILLE BALL (Lucy Carter / Herself)

[undyingskies]

Big Bear

request: no

a/n: i hope you guys like this one, i truthfully have no idea how i feel about it but that is okay. i just had the idea and finally found some motivation to write so i did.

Quick reminder too, i have my request closed for the time being as i am struggling a bit with writers block and motivation! i have my inbox open to be able to still talk and interact with everyone but i am hoping to shave down my request list a little more before i open it up again! i hope everyone understands, i should have it open by the end of this upcoming week!

warnings: none

tagged: @mah-gah-lee​

word count: 2.7k

_________________________________________________

Come with us to Big Bear they said, it will be fun they said.

And it was fun in the beginning, when you guys first got to the mountain. The day started off with everyone joking around and shot gunning a few drinks. Your small group of friends, meeting other small groups of friends. It was fun.

But then, the snowboarding began. And they were wrong, it was not fun anymore. It may have been fun to watch the mess you were trying to snowboard down the mountain but instead of making it down the mountain you just ended up face down in the snow.

Either way, it wasn’t fun for you. But everyone was getting a good laugh at you.

“Come on Y/N, let’s go up one more time!”

You look at your friend, giving them the most pointed eye you could muster. All of them laughing at your look.

“No. Not happening.”

“Come on please! This could be your lucky slope, besides we’re getting lunch after.”

You let the idea roll around in your head, trying to pin point the positive and negatives of going again. While there were many negatives, at this point you’ve fallen enough, what is one more time you think.

“Fine, I’ll go.” The frustration evident coming from you.

“Yes! Atta girl, let’s get going then.” With that your hand is in your friends and they are pulling you up onto your feet.

You trudge behind them, making your way to the lift. You and your friends are just alone waiting for your turn, listening to the laughter of the group in front of you.

“Dude all I’m saying is it’s weird that you’re wearing a mask with hulu girls on it when we’re in the snow!” The loud voice of the guy in front of you making both you and your friends giggle.

Your giggles getting the attention of the boys and girl in front of you. Their eyes all on you. Your giggling immediately stops, but escapes again when you see the mask in question.

“See dude! Even they agree!” The boy laughs at his friends. “I told you it’s a weird mask!”

“It is not, I got it in Hawaii! I thought it was fun!” The one boy whines out, taking being the brunt of the joke well though.

“I don’t think it’s as fun as you think, how about you ask miss giggles over there!” The same male voice says again, causing your eyes to widen. You weren’t ready to be put on the spot.

They all stare at you for a few seconds, you’re still in shock at their attention.

“Well?” The boy with the mask asks.

“I mean it’s not, not fun; but it also looks like one of my grandpa’s shirts.” You confess, your words making everyone laugh.

“See dude!”

“That’s not fair!”

“It totally looks like a grandpa shirt!”

The group of friends all begin saying at the same time, laughing at the truth your words held. The boy in the mask looks at you and says “thanks a lot.”

You smile at his words and interject back, “You wanted the strangers opinion.” Now the both of you laugh as well.

The time you had to wait for the lift went by quickly due to your interactions with the group in front of you. They hop on the lift in front of you and you can still hear their laughter as you make your way up the hill.

You can feel your nerves set in as you get closer to hopping off the lift, you would much rather not fall flat on your face this time around.

You start hyping yourself up in your head, “you got this Y/N. You can do it.” The hyping up seems to work as you feel your nerves start to diminish.

Then it’s your turn to hop off, your friend looking over at you smiling.

“Ready Y/N?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

And with that your board has hit the fresh snow and you’re lunging yourself off the seat.

You’re able to steady yourself as you’re going down the hill, you’re able to slice back and forth through the snow.

You can feel the smile make its way onto your face, and your laughter leave you. It felt so good to make your way down the mountain. You could hear your friends behind you, wooing in excitement.

All of you got excited too soon, because just as you were about to make it to the bottom of the mountain, something happened and you felt your feet fly into the air.

Next thing you know you’re face first in the snow. Again.

You just continue to lay there, face first in the snow, not wanting to move yet. Just letting whatever emotion you were feeling in this moment settle in you.

You can hear another board ride up next to you and stop when it reached your body. Neither of you say a word, instead a hand starts to poke your back.

You groan. “Just leave me here to die Y/F/N. Let the cold snow, swallow me up.”

A laugh leaves the body above you, it definitely didn’t belong to your friend. First of all it belonged to a man.

You immediately pick your head up and look at the person in front of you.

“Oh look it’s mask boy again.” Then you let your face plop back into the snow, not wanting to face the embarrassment in front of a stranger.

“Oh come on, let me help you up.” The boy is laughing again, reaching out to grab your hand to pull you up.

You look up again at the boy, this time letting him help you up.

Once you’re back on your feet, you’re wiping the snow off the front of your body. The boy and you both just letting the silence overtake you.

“Well, thanks mask boy.” You say awkwardly, not knowing what to do anymore.

The boy chuckles at your words. “I have a name you know, as much as I love the nickname.”

You point your eyes at the boy again, not understanding what he’s getting at.

“It’s Charlie.” As he speaks, he puts his hand out to let you shake. You take his hand in yours.

“Y/N.” As you say your name the boy takes his hand back and goes to move the goggles that covered his eyes and the mask that covered his face off.

You feel your breath hitch in your throat at the sight of the boy, you had just made fun of minutes before. He has to be the most handsome guy, you had ever set your eyes on.

You feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment for a number of reasons. You’re just awkwardly standing there with your mouth slightly agape, your words getting lost in your throat.

“You okay Y/N?” You just heard your name leave his mouth but you never wanted it to end. A chuckle leaves his lips at the sight in front of him.

“Uh ya, super.” You say, now removing your own goggles and mask, needing the fresh air. “I, uhh, I am sorry about earlier I didn’t mean to poke fun at you in front of your friends.”

What you didn’t know is that, Charlie’s heart skipped a beat at the first real sight of your face. The color swirling in your eyes, the pink tint on your cheeks, and the smile on your face all had him holding his breath in.

A similar pink tint making its way onto his cheeks.

“It’s not a problem, Y/N. It was funny anyways.” He admits.

“So you’re okay? That did seem like a solid fall!” Your cheeks flushing a deeper red at his words.

“Wasn’t the first time today,” you laugh, “besides that one didn’t hurt as bad as the others.”

His face falls at your words.

“Oh no,” you laugh at the look on his face, “I have like two left feet, I’m fine!”

You try to convince him, but it doesn’t look like he’s buying it. Which could be because of the strained look on your face due to the pounding in your head.

“Fine, I have a headache.” You admit just because of the look on his face. It was intimidating but once you admitted it a chuckle left him.

“That wasn’t hard to get that out of you.” You shrug your shoulders, it really wasn’t. “If you want to come with me inside, I’ll get you something to drink and some medicine.”

As nice as his offer sounds, you can’t help but be hesitant.

“How don’t I know this isn’t some ploy to get me alone and kill me?” A loud chuckle leaves him.

“That is a fair point Y/N, but would a guy with a grandpa shirt as a mask really be able to pull something like that off?”

This time you’re the one laughing loudly.

“Also a fair point Charlie.” He smiles as your words.

He reaches his hand out to you. You look at his hand then back up at him a few times.

“With your two left feet, you’re going to need some help getting to the bottom.”

You roll your eyes at his words and take his hand with a huff, letting him lead you down the rest of the mountain. This time you don’t fall.

“How are you so good at this?” You let the words leave your mouth before you can think about it. He chuckles at how blatant you are.

“I’m actually from Canada so snow boarding was a common activity in my life.”

“Oh cool.”

The both of you reach the bottom of the mountain, you except him to drop your hand but he doesn’t.

He continues to lead you to inside the resort. You pass your friends as he pulls you inside, all of them looking at you with shocked faces and giving you thumbs up.

They had witnessed the whole event from the bottom of the mountain and were in shock at the handsome boy once they caught sight of him.

You laugh quietly at their antics. Charlie looks back at you after hearing your laughter but just smiles at you.

He continues to lead you inside until he is pushing you to sit in a chair and leaves you alone with a, “one second.”

As you sit alone, you take the rest of the bulky snow clothes off. The heat from the resort making it impossible to sit in the warm clothing.

Charlie comes back up to you smiling, giving you a once over, until he is pulled back to reality and handing you the pain killers and a water bottle.

You take them from his hand gratefully. As you swallow down the pills, he goes to sit in the chair next to you following your lead of stripping of the bulky clothes.

You feel yourself gulp a little harder as he is just left in a tight long sleeve and pulling his beanie off to run his hand through his brunette hair before pulling it back on.

He was a sight to see.

He catches you staring and smiles at you. His heart skipping another beat.

“So Y/N, what possessed you to snowboard with two left feet?” The both of you laugh at his words.

“Well first of all I didn’t know I had two left feet before I got here today and second of all my friends thought it would be a fun get away for the weekend.” The two sit in silence just smiling at one another before you break it, “what brought you here?”

“Oh, uh, kind of the same thing! My friends thought it would be fun to come up here for the weekend and I’ll never turn down an adventure.”

From there your conversation explodes. Neither of you wanting it to end. It was nice getting to know each other, with every word your interest for one another growing.

The only thing that pulls you from the conversation is the darkness taking over the sky and your phone buzzing from texts from your friends asking you where you were and demanding to know what was happening with the “cute boy who watched you fall on your face.” Their words not yours.

You quickly shoot them a text back letting them know you’d leave now and would fill them in with details once you get back to the cabin.

“It looks like I’ve got to go, but it was nice meeting you Charlie” You smile, while standing on your feet. Charlie’s face falls at your words but follows your lead as he stands up and looks at his watch. Sighing at the time, it was getting late.

“Would it be okay if I walked you back to where ever you’re staying?” He pauses as you think about his offer, “It is dark outside and what kind of guy would I be if I let you go alone.”

“Another fair point, Charlie. I’d appreciate it actually.” He smiles at your words and grabs both of your snowboards even though you try to protest but he just shushes you.

It is honestly impressive how the boy was able to carry both boards under one arm, his muscles popping out. His free hand reaches out to yours and he entangles your fingers.

You just smile at him, as you begin to lead the way to where you were staying.

“So how long as you staying?” You ask him as you walk down the street that leads to your cabin.

“We’re here until Sunday, so two more days! You?”

“Oh, same!” The both of you smile at each other.

The last few feet to your cabin is just spent in silence. The both of you thinking the same things but too nervous to say anything.

You continue to lead him up to your cabin before you stop in front of your door. You just stand there as he sets your snowboard up against the wall and places his down so he can turn to look at you.

“Well, I’m glad I got to meet you today Y/N even if it began with you making fun of you!”

The heat returning to your cheeks.

“Hey! I apologized about that!” You whine out, him laughing.

“It’s totally fine!” This time he pauses and looks down at your hands which are still holding each other. “Do you think I could maybe get your number?” You can tell he is nervous due to his tone and his free hand moving to scratch the back of his neck.

“I think that you just maybe could.” A big smile makes its way onto his face, as he goes to grab his phone from his back pocket and handing it to you.

You quickly type your number into his phone and hand it back to him. He smiles at seeing your contact on his screen before he locks it and puts it back in his pocket.

“Well maybe I will see you around!” You say, dropping his hand and going to open the door. An awkward goodbye, but you couldn’t think of anything else.

It takes him a few seconds before he’s stopping you.

“Hey, wait!” You stop and turn to look at him, as he steps towards you. He leans in and the closer he gets has you holding your breath.

He places a kiss to your cheek, both of you smiling as he pulls away.

“I would like to see you again before we leave Y/N and after we leave too, if that’s alright.” You smile at his confession.

“I think we could manage that,” you lean in this time and press a kiss to his cheek, “just text me.”

Then you turn and walk into your cabin closing the door with the biggest smile on your face. Leaving Charlie with a similar smile and pink cheeks on the other side.

He laughs as he hears your friends yell at you before he walks away.

He spends the rest of the night smiling and texting you, excited to see you again. While you spend the night with a twin smile and your friends bombarding you with questions about the cute boy who had a grandpa shirt as a mask.

[joshslater]

Twitching

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

To my surprise people keep joining the stream. Usually it was only my friends and occasionally someone random that watched me play. Space strategy games are not the most audience-friendly. They require you to know a lot about the game mechanics, and they take a long while to play through a full campaign. But all my mates know the game, and are just here to socialize and sometimes provide a tip.

This evening is different though. It had started with some "Lucy333" joining what must have been almost an hour ago. More than 30 minutes for sure. But over the past 10 minutes I've gotten 12 more viewers I think. Suddenly there is a coin sound effect and the chat stream lights up with a donation. $2 from Lucy333 and the text "Hey, spaceboy! Take your shirt off!"

I can instantly feel myself blushing. I'm flattered for a few milliseconds. I'm aware of the streams with girls showing lots of skin to get donations. I've never watched any of them. I'm not even aware of any with boys in them, but I know they exist. "Thanks for the donation, Lucy. This isn't that kind of stream though, clearly." I'm just playing for my mates when we don't feel like meeting up or doing something else. And I know I'm not a looker, though not shockingly ugly like Pete. Honestly, if there wasn't a pandemic going on we would probably do exactly the same thing anyway, playing space strategy and talk Marvel.

There is a flurry of responses from the newcomers in the chat. "Do it! Do it!" says one Donnatrix. "It could be that kind of stream," says fluffy2000. Soon my mates start cheering on as well. It basically turns into a dare. I'm not proud of my body, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It just is. Fuck it. I don't know what I'm going to be teased for more, if I take my shirt off, or if I don't. I reckon if I do what they ask for they have less ground to stand on. I set the game speed to low, say "Ok then", take off my headset, and pull off my T-shirt.

I'm met with a torrent of cheers in the chat. "Now it is that kind of stream," says fluffy. Donnatrix drops $5 and the comment "YAAAASSS". It feels weird. I can't decide if this is a group of sorority girls that randomly and sarcastically sexualize nerds, or if they are genuinely supportive.

"Thank y'all. Now back to trade route 14 to Zephyr-C". My emissary mission hasn't moved far at this speed. I'm about to increase the in-game speed when I get another $2 donation from Lucy. "Spaceboy, keep the game in slow mode and jump over to Heavenly Bodies."

I have no idea what she is talking about, if she even is a she. Her message is instantly met with a wave of support from the other newcomers. At this game speed it would take hours before I need to take any action, and I'm already up a Whopper meal without having done anything, so I reckon I can play whatever they want me to play for a while. Who knew I was that easily bought? "I don't know what that is," I say into my headset.

A few seconds later Lucy sends me a private message with a TinyURL. "This better not mess with my game rig. If it's porn I'll switch back to the game." I say. "It could be that kind of stream too." fluffy offers in the chat. "He could use some porn tbh" my friend Mike responds. I click the link.

The browser loads something that looks like a web game. It's a character creation screen with a faceless, very neutral model on the screen. Looks like those posable figures you use when learning to draw. There are no controls, except a set of buttons that offers you to upload settings, import from Facebook, and similar. I click the Facebook one, click a few approvals, and a progress bar that only lasts a few seconds appears. When it is gone there is a 3D model of me on the screen. "Wow! This looks just like me." Whatever AI they have combing through my online photos managed to get almost everything right. I'm wearing some sort of speedos, but I don't own any, so that part was a miss, but the model looks spot on. "Whatever else they have in the game, I don't think they are going to top this."

A long list of sliders and customizations appear on the screen. It looks like an incredibly detailed character creation screen. I try moving the height controller and is met with a message box saying I'm out of credits, and that I need $10,000 to change my height to whatever I moved it to. Clearly not real money. "I can't change anything". Lucy responded I need to share it. I exit fullscreen on the game and move the browser over to my other screen so everyone on the stream can see. "No, you need to click the share button in the UI and post the link in the chat", Donnatrix writes.

A big gift-wrapped box appears in the corner of the game window. I click it and it presents the text "Hair color and style" with bold letters and below that a text message from Lucy "I think this will be cute on you." I click accept and the 3D model is updated with new hair. It's dark blonde or whatever the oxymoronic name is for it, instead of my usual rat brown hair. It's short on the sides and on top is a big swooping quiff. It looks utterly silly. "Thanks, nice one," I tell the stream. I see a lot of cheers coming in the chat, but I'm a bit perplexed about the "OMYFUCKING GDO!" from Mike. It's just silly hair.

Immediately a new gift box appears on the screen, and soon after a (2) is added on top of it, possibly indicating two gifts waiting. I find it a little bit cute that these girls are essentially playing with paper dolls, but digitally and modeled after someone real. I open the next gift, "Facial Features" from Julia_Awesome. I click accept again, and the doll on the screen is updated. Weirdly it felt like a flash of heat hit me, like those flame effects on concerts. The doll still looks like me, but pretty fictionalized. The face is much sharper, not just less fat, but probably also some bone structure changes as well. It's equally interesting and disheartening, like one of those really good mobile phone filter apps that makes you into a photo model. Makes you understand how unobtainable the Men's Health cover look really is. "Thank you, Julia, but I'm not sure about this look."

I'm ignoring the chat, though I see it is going bananas. I'll have to read that later when the stream is over. I open the next box. Another two has already arrived. This gift is from Donnatrix and is "Core Body", whatever that means. It feels like a gut punch. Perhaps not that, because it doesn't hurt, but it knocks the air out of me. Almost made me fall out of the chair. I'm confused about what is actually happening though because things don't make sense. My body looks deformed. It takes a moment before my brain stops associating what I see with HR Geiger's nightmarish paintings and start to understand what I really see. My body is suddenly a lot leaner and a hell of a lot more stacked than before. Proper abs muscles like a pan of Hawaii rolls.

I look up at the main screen for the first time in what feels like an eternity. The model on the screen looks ripped as well. How stupid can one person be? I turn to the side monitor and look at the window from the webcam. It's me, all new muscles, strong jaw, and a silly quiff on top.

"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! This is insane! This isn't possible."

"lol, of course not" I see moving by in the chat. I go back to the program. Four more gifts waiting. I look at the model on the screen. I look at the webcam view. "Arms" says the next gift with the text "Promise to flex for me." Well, fuck Zephyr-C and trade route 14.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Dabi x villain!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, non-con, stalking, mentions of human experimentation, non-consensual drug use, lots of swearing.

Words: 1841.

Summary: Running away from the lab where you had been experimented on for years, you have no choice but to join the League of Villains to escape from the government. Of course, you don’t expect things to go smoothly, especially when one mutilated son of a bitch just can’t leave you alone.

P.S. I’ve suddenly remembered Rogue who had been my favorite character once; the heroine’s Quirk is partly based on her ability.

My dear @navegandoaciegas​, this is my first attempt at writing Dabi. Hope you’re going to enjoy reading it ❤

_________________

"Fuck, how much can you drink at once, birdie? Ain't you scared to pass out in a place full of men?"

Oh God, it was that smug bastard again. For the past couple of days Dabi couldn't get off your back for a full damn minute.

"Men? Here?" You opened your eyes and raised an eyebrow at the man whose face was right above yours as he leaned on the back of the couch where you laid. "I see just a couple of kids and one burnt corpse who can never fucking shut up."

"Oh? Wanna see how well can a burnt corpse fuck you up?"

Always up to a challenge. You rolled your eyes at his obvious display of hostility despite the fact he'd most definitely lose against you. Besides, Shigaraki would barely enjoy you two ruining the League's hideout, and upsetting that asshole ready to go berserk any moment certainly wasn't one of your priorities.

"Just go fuck yourself, would you? I'm not in the mood to bark at you."

"Well, then don't. I didn’t come here for that, actually."

This was something new. He suddenly became calm as you studied his grotesque mutilated face inches away from yours. Your expression didn’t betray any emotions either since you weren't shocked or disgusted by the way Dabi looked: you've seen worse in the laboratory, and repulsive things had long stopped looking repulsive to you.

"What are you here for, then?" You asked him, trying to remember if you finished that second bottle of sake or not. Since the time you accidentally got one of those useless Quirks, you couldn't get drunk anymore - now strong alcohol only made you sleepy.

"I've always wanted to ask why the fuck are you wearing these." Dabi pointed out to the black leather gloves laying on the coffee table in front of you, and you rolled your eyes again. One more useless question.

"In this team of no-brainers you're the last person I expected to ask me this question." Groaning, you moved up a little to take more comfortable position and stared at the man above you intensely.

"Don't you want to gather as many Quirks as possible? If so, why wearing gloves when you can only get a Quirk through touch?"

You were close to snapping at him, and it certainly made Dabi look even more smug.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, a garbage bin?" You barked wishing you could teleport the bastard somewhere to Hawaii. "I only take Quirks I need, and it isn't easy to find those in that damp of useless abilities regular citizens have. Besides, some Quirks are quite dangerous for their owners and I'd prefer them not existing at all. You, of all people, should already get that, Pretty Face."

He smiled at you, but you saw his hollow eyes sparkling dangerously at your last remark, and you felt his body emanating heat he could turn into his famous blue flames within a second. Nasty shit, that what's you thought of his Quirk. Who on Earth would want anything like that? You doubted anyone but a true psychopath could really appreciate something as fucked up as Dabi's ability to burn anything and anyone, himself including. You definitely didn't want to use his Quirk despite already taking it as almost all of those belonging to the League of Villains. It wasn't intentional, though.

"You'd better start watching your mouth, birdie. You ain't back in the lab." His smile grew wider as he saw your expression darkening at the mention of the lab.

Fucking son of a bitch. You bet he'd go insane during the first month being locked up there.

"Huh, calm down, dear. I think it's better we get along."

You sent him a glare wishing you could throw his overconfident ass out of the window. Dabi loved messing with fucking everyone, Shigaraki included, but he was still a valuable member of the team. Killing him would do you no good.

Showing him your middle finger, you put your head on the pillow and took the half-empty bottle of sake. Thank goodness you didn't finish it. You hoped Dabi would vanish by the time you were done.

You spent a few minutes in complete silence as the man kept leaning on the couch and watching you drinking while you did your best trying to relax. Why the Hell was Dabi stuck here with you? Didn't he have any other things he should be doing now? Was he here to get under your skin even more? Shit, you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted it since the time they brought you to the lab, but since then somebody had always been getting on your nerves one way or the other.

"Seriously, what do you want from me?" You grunted as you opened your eyes again and stared at Dabi's face. "You wanna take the couch or what? I ran out of sake if you're here for it."

There was that smug smile again. Saints, the guy had been creeping you out with his long intense stares for quite some time, but today he was even less bearable than usual. He definitely wanted something from you, and the feeling was making you uneasy.

"You wanna hook up, birdie?"

You thought you were gonna choke on air when you heard him saying that. What? Seriously? Did he hurt his head so bad last time heroes attacked? So, that was the meaning of those stares, then? He thought you were the one he could stick his dick in. Wincing from the thought like from a toothache, you squeezed your eyes shut. The guy was clearly mad.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to hook up with anyone?" You huffed with irritation and realized Dabi was having way more fun than you.

"Don't tell me you're actually a virgin."

"You think I can be a virgin with the life I'm having?" You sounded more bitter than you thought you would, and the man above you chuckled. He was getting on your nerves more and more with each passing second.

"Then why not? Sex is a good way to relax. You certainly seem like you could let off some steam." You flinched when Dabi extended his hand to you, but he had only brushed of a lock of your hair out of your face. "I bet I can help you with that better than most of the team."

"Sex is painful, and I don't like pain. Go have fun with Toga, she seems more into that than me." You narrowed your eyes at him, your hand almost touching his neck if the villain decided he'd go further without your consent. His stupid grin going wider was making you more and more mad.

Of course, he wouldn't go to Himiko. That asshole had his own type, and she certainly didn't fall into that category. Why did you? You had no idea, but you doubted he would ever lay his hands on you. Yeah, you knew what sex was, and it had nothing to do with pleasure like in those stupid romantic novels you once bought. It was humiliating and painful. If you had a chance to get back to those who did it to you back in the lab, you'd rip their hearts out of their rib cages.

The expression on your face didn't seem to faze Dabi even the slightest bit, and you rolled your eyes in irritation. Apparently, he wouldn't give up unless you showed him you weren't some doll he could play with, and Shigaraki was probably going to get real mad at the both of you this evening.

All of a sudden you felt some strange tickling in your muscles you had never felt before. What was that? Confused, you quickly glanced over the room to see no one except Dabi still on his spot. What was that? Was it some hero's work? Had they found your hideout? No, it couldn’t be. You'd hear them, feel them before somebody even set their foot on your territory. It wasn't a hero.

Unwilling to wait for any surprises to happen, you used a regeneration Quirk, the one you were gifted on your 14th birthday so you could heal yourself after they ran the tests without troubling a healer too much. Strangely, the Quirk did nothing about the tickling, and you felt your legs getting weaker. What the fuck was that?

As you raised your head to ask Dabi for help, you suddenly realized he was eager to see what you were doing. He looked like he enjoyed watching you in such state, confused and even frightened, your knees slightly trembling as if you became weak within a couple of seconds.

It was him. He did something to you. The bastard had the nerve to do something to your body so it'd be easier to handle you.

"What have you done?" You hissed at him while he chuckled, pointing at the bottles of sake on the table. "Have you poisoned my drink?"

But the regeneration would work in that case. You knew for sure.

Running his finger around the shell of your ear, Dabi hummed with content, "Poisoned? Come on, who do you think I am, an Evil Queen? That's just a little handy potion that has a tendency to slowly accumulate in your body. Makes you a little softer, don't you think?"

Oh. Oh. That's why he was always watching you. He had no idea when the effects would start to show. Did he fucking realize it could happen in the heat of the battle when you needed your Quirks the most? Did Dabi have any idea what would happen if heroes managed to lock you away again?

"Seems like you planned to abandon me if heroes attacked, didn't you?" You gritted your teeth when Dabi got on top of you, his hands on your chest as he caressed your body like a lover would, his hot fingers getting under your clothes.

"Of course not. I'd play your personal hero and save your stubborn ass the trouble of murdering everyone."

While you desperately wanted to kick him off you came to realization you weren't able to even stand up, your arms and legs so weak you could barely move while Dabi had no problems stripping you out of your clothes, his hands on the your thighs as he took off your pants.

Shit, shit, shit. You couldn’t use any Quirks to hurt him, all of them barely responding to your call. What was that potion? Why nobody in the lab prepared you for this? How on Earth did that shithead obtain such a dangerous thing?

"If you hurt me, I'll rip your brain out of your skull and bring it to Shigaraki as a present."

His chapped, disfigured lips brushed against your neck almost gently when the man murmured, "It doesn't have to be painful, birdie. I'll show you how much fun we can have together."

___________________

Tags: @coolio-love @awesomerextyphoon​

[popculturebuffet]

Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: “Morpholomew” (American Dragon Long): Stop Trying to Make Am Drag a Thing (Commisson Done For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a brand new retrospective/story arc/thing from yours truly, comissoned directly by WeirdKev27. If you’d like to comission your own review or set of reviews like this one, it’s 5 bucks. Just contact me via my ask box or direct messages on this very blog or my discord technicolormuk#6550.

With Shadow Into Light in the books, Kev decided he wanted to comission something not duck related and a bit smaller as a buffer before the next big arc, ALL of three arcs from season 2 of Ducktales, and decided to go with something he suggested to be a while back as a possible future retrospective: The Lilo and Stitch Crossover episodes! 

That’s right for the next three weeks, with TWO reviews this week since I had a spot open up and Kev paid for this one in full and way in advance, we’ll be taking a trip to Hawaii to visit everyone’s faviorte little girl, her best friend/pet/killing machine as they try to find homes for his 625 cousins. 

I loved Lilo and Stitch when I was a kid: Disney admitely got their hooks in me on that one with their cool prequel comics in disney adventures. These comics set up the movie, showing Jumba creating Stitch and the events leading up to both getting captured. The movie did not disapoint with cool character designs, a drop dead gorgeous recreation of Hawaii, and a really heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartpumping story of loss, family, and ving rahmes voicing one of the few heroic child services workers i’ve seen in a medium, a refreshing change of pace. The film is a masterpiece and I really do need to watch it again sometime. 

Given the series was a huge hit and that thsi was before the big lull in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s where Disney refused to make any tv shows based on their movies, a series followed, given a lead in by the direct to video movie Stitch.

The movie set up the basic premise; 624 capsules containing Jumba’s previous experiments, cousins as Stitch calls them, ended up raining over Kauai, awakening when dropped into water or any other liquid. Lilo and Stitch, with help from Jumba, his live in boyfriend Pleakley, her tought but fair sister Nani, and her boyfriend David, who dosen’t show up as much as i’d like but is my boy so he gets a mention here. But anyways our heroes try to reform the various engines of distructoin who all have unique powers and find them their one place they truly belong. 

So yes the show was a Mons-type show clearly captalizing off pokemon.. but the slice of life setting as opposed to the shonen style of most shows following in pokemon’s wake, gave it it’s own unique feel: while our heroes did fight, it was more about shenanigans, adventures and what not with these unique creatures and the purpose is very heartflet: Lilo simply wants to give these guys the same kind of love and support she’s given Stitch and a chance to do good. 

Opposing them is Gantu, the shark bounty hunter from the first film who, now out of a job, is working for Dr. Hamstervile, an imprisoned sceintest and a character I really don’t like that much as he’s not funny or a genuine threat or both and feels like a waste of time. Thankfully he’s not the focus and Gantu is instead partnered with 625, my faviorite Lilo and Stitch character. 625, as the name suggests, is stitch’s immediate prototype.. but unlike Stitch is too lazy and peaceful to be a real threat and isn’t even really a villian despite being on Gantu’s side. He’s busy making samwitches, his calling to the point when he gets a name in the finale movie it’s naturally Ruben, and snarking at gantu. He’s sadly not in this one but hopefully it’s JUST this one. 

As you can tell I liked this show a LOT at the time. I haven’t watched it since, mostly because disney scarely replayed it after it’s run, but it was vibrant, fun and intresting and a nicely laidback and creative take. The fact I came into the franchise with the comics and thus 625, who was introduced there in fact, and had a hunger to know more about the other experiments certainly helped. It was great fun. 

But while I grew up with the show and the four shows it teamed up with, i’ve never seen these episodes before these reviews. I wondered why for years as I caught the tail end of the kim possible one and saw images ocasionally, but never saw them. 

Turns out it’s because in general Season 2 got screwed over. While Season 1 was pushed out the door fast and aired at a rapid pace Season 2.. was portioned out over several years, and the Recess crossover one, the last one aired and the last one i’ll be covering never even got to Disney channel, only airing on ABC kids, DIsney’s saturday morning block at the time I rarely watched. I did watch it’s predecessor one saturday morning though. Good stuff. 

Since I couldn’t find any making of stuff for why these episodes happened, my best guess is DIsney wanted some cross promotion, and the shows used were chosen because they were the most popular at the time and honestly all 4 represent some of disney’s best, with Recess being in heavy reruns at the time, hence i’ts conclusion despite the show being finished before Lilo And Stitch the movie came out, let alone the series. 

So yeah i’m taking this ride for the first time.. but I was happy to. While Kev pays for a lot of my work, I still have to accept the idea.. and this was a great one. It allows me to cover 5 amazing series and gage how much people would want to see reviews of said series on this blog in one fell swoop.

So to kick us off we have American Dragon: Jake Long, a series I waited forever to come to Disney + as I loved it at the time, badly need to rewatch it (Been busy ), and find it genuinely great: It’s a great teen superhero story about the magical protector of new york, with a charming lead, a great setting and horrifcally great villians in the violently racist magic creature hunting huntsclan.. and their top agent who happens to be jake’s love intrest Rose. It’s really excellent and i’m glad it’s now widely avaliable for all to see. I will say ahead that all four shows in this crossover arc are excellent, and were fine choices for this. 

So what happens when an action comedy about a hip hop teenage dragon meets a slice of life show about aliens? Find out under the cut. 

So we open at a fancy hotel where Lilo’s bringing lunch to her sister Nani when she runs into.. Keoni Jameson. 

The second I remembered this kid all the hate just came flooding back, coursing through my veigns. Just pure liquid hatred for this little perosnalitiless little punk. Keoni is Lilo’s crush and local “stupid white audience stand in”. He has no real personality other than “generic cool kid” and “likes skating”, and just sucks the air out of the room anytime he’s in an episode. Keoni is part of a recurring problem in cartoons across the ages, one that’s slowly going away: the bland love intrest. Intorducing a character whose only traits are being cool for the lead to fawn over with usually no intent of either getting the two togehter or just ending it. IT’s annoying, it was in a good chunk of my childhood, I wish it’d stop. I cannot tell you how many shows used this trope. There were exceptions, American Dragon Jake Long actually used it well by not only making Rose a fleshed out character..  but making her jake’s nemisis in their other lives, and thus making things increidbly difficult on both once the truth comes out, with Jake grappling with if he can trust her or not and Rose grappling with the slow relization eveyrthing she was taught her whole life was wrong.

And again I have seen GOOD storylines using this as a tool: Dipper and Wendy ended with her having been aware teh whole time, but simply not knowing how to let him down given the age gap, and Regular Show rebounded the best from it: it turned the stop and start relatoinshpi of Mordecai and Margret’s relationship into a character flaw for him, openly explored it.. and ended up having him work past it and actually date her for a bit. Before she moved away, he got an even better love interest, then they destoryed the relationship in the worst way posisble and I wil lbe getting to that at some point. Some point. 

So yeah even at the time it was done better, hindsight haas only made it worse and it made watching the first few minutes tough because I had to keep pasuing because I hate him so damn much. He just adds NOTHING to the show and is a blank yanwing void from which no good came out of and I was terrified he’d be in the rest of the episode. Thankfully while he drives the plot he’s only in this scene.. but it’s still one more scene than both 625 and Pleakly got. yeah both are missing, as is nani. 

I did uncover one fun fact that made things a bit easier though: The crew ALSO hated Keoni. No really. Disney forced the character on them as they wanted an audience surrogate, and this abomination is what popped out. They DID NOT want him here and likely only used him as mcuh as they did because Disney forced it on them. And Disney would NOT learn from this as Star Vs got saddled with Alphonso and Ferguson soley because of network mandate. The two aren’t TERRIBLE characters but they aren’t great and feel as tacked on as they were. And part of this does fall on the crew: you CAN twist a stupid mandate like this to work well: Joe Murray was asked to add “A female character with a hook”, as in some sort of dumb gimmick to Rocko. He used those words, meant to create a superfical girl power cardboard cutout.. and created the wonderful Dr. Hutchenson, a bright cheery doctor, the series best sidecharacter.. and someone with a hook hand. But I won’t go too hard on them: they probably didn’t have as much room to manuver and the fact Keoni was sitll being shoved into episodes in season 2 tells me they likely had a set number of episodes he had to show up. I’m suprised they didn’t demand they have characters ask “Where’s Keonie?” any time he wasn’t in an episode. He was unecessary and it comes across with a massive chunk of unforutnate implications: that they didn’t think a series with a mostly hawaiann cast would work, that they wanted at least one other “nice” white character to offset myrtle instead of having the only major white character be a bully and antagonist, and that they thought tehir mostly white audience coudln’t enjoy a series without a white character, which as someone who was in the target demo at the time, I call bullshit on. As I said I hated him then, I hate him now and his involvement is the worst aspect of this episode. 

So after Lilo fawns over him for a bit we find out this chonk of wood’s purpose in the episode: to set up the plot. There’s a massive Skate Competition coming to town with the prize being a really cool skateboard.  This plot point itself.. I don’t mind. Jake is a skater, it’s part of his character and one of the things he loves doing in what minsicule spare time he has. And while it was a common trope at the time having a character skateboard really dosen’t harm most works. We’ve gotten great characters like Jake, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Branwen and Ronnie Anne Santiago out of it, and it feels like natural parts of the character, and frankly An Extremley Goofy Movie wouldn’t be NEARLY as awesome without having skateboarding bizzarley attached to the plot via the college x-games. Granted somtimes you get Rocket Power out of the deal but that’s the price you pay for the good stuff. I only regret it’s involved because Keoni has to be there and I had to pause multiple times to get through his scene. He’s just a sampler platter of terrible decisions made in 2000′s cartoons and he irritates me more than this guy. 

And anyone whose read my Loud House reviews can tell you that is a high bar to clear. 

So naturally Lilo wants to enter the Hawiann X-Games to get the board for Keoni. Though I will give the writers credit for having Stitch voice their thoughts and the audiences thoughts by having him take Keoni’s picture and throw it in the garbage. Where he belongs. 

Lilo’s not great at it as they practice.. and said practice naturally ends up waking up a new experiment, 316.. who i’m just going to go ahead and call Morpholomew. Stitch eventually catches him though like many of the experiments he’s not actively malevelolent and is easy enough to get home. 

Jumba gets to his schitck of breaking down what the experiment of the week does: In this case Morpholomew is  a shapeshifter though he has a VERY intresting twist on those powers: while he can naturally morph himself into anything he’s seen or has a picture of, he can do the same to anyone he touches. It dosen’t effect their voices, but otherwise it’s a perfect recreation. 

So Lilo instead of finding him a home right away.. decides to wait until after the compettition because we need him for the plot. 

So at the Skateboard Competittion Lilo tries to enter, but finds she’s too young.. but since she has a picture of Keoni, which is a nice way to use her photo hobby from the movie for plot reasons and thus dosen’t feel like an ass pull. Why Keoni’s not in town to skate is as his dad left because it’d be too crowded.. even though the event is at the resort he owns. 

So while Lilo commits identtity theft, our guest star appears. He’s cool, he’s hot like a frozen son, he’s young and fast he’s the chosen one, people i’m not braggin, i’ts the American Dragon. Jake is here for two reasons: the first is that Grandpa Long got reports of magical creatures out in the open, so naturally they need to look into that. It’s a clever way to get him, along with Grandpa, Fu, Trixie and Spud, over to Hawaii. The Dragon Council would defintely be suspcious hearing about this, and my guess to why they hadn’t sent another dragon over is they simply dont’ have one on the islands. As for why the Huntsclan didn’t get involved in any way, it’s simply too public for them.  With the magical community in new york, they don’t have to worry about exposure because neither side wants it, so neither side can out the other. Here with a bunch of creatures out in the open it runs the risk of the Hunstclan being dragged into the light.. and given the populace dosne’t care about the “magical creatures” alongside them, it would make them look like the monsters they are. 

Spud and Trixie tagging along also makes sense besides “they needed them for the plot”: While they’d obviously want to come to Hawaii, the skate competition is likely Jake’s cover for why he’s there, as well as one for why it’s just him and grandpa going with a couple of his friends so they don’t have to deal with manuvering around jake’s dad. That sad them never TELLING jake’s Dad is it’s own can of worms as it feels cruel, made things harder for jake and there was no real reason not to. At worst he’d want Jake to stop for his own saftey but given ther’es an active threat in  the huntsclan for the first season and a half, NOT helping people would be the right thing and I feel he’s a sensible enough man to understand eventually. 

And it’s stuff like this that already makes this crossover really work for me: they don’t really have to strain to get Jake over there or tell the audience heavily, the blanks fill in themslves. Or I am but that’s because it’s my job and I love doin it. 

So everyone goes off to their corners; Jake to do a few practice runs, Foo Dog to bet on his friend because of course, Trixie and Spud to go to the beach (even though Spud’s terrified of sharks so I question why Trixie needs him for this), and in a delightfully adorable subplot, finds a lady to woo: local fruit stand vendoer and crankly old lady Mrs. Hasagawa. 

I am here for this subplot: While Grandpa not focusing on the mission is weird for him that’s the entire point.. and their just really cute together. He’s smitten with her entirely because he sees her chewing out one of the people running the contest for making her sign too small. And he performs one hell of a romantic gesture by, while everyone’s back is turned, using his dragon fire to make an add for her on the skate ramp itself, and they have a lovely montage of their time together.. which also weirdly includes grandpa using his dragon fire on stage inf ront of everyone which makes no sense for his charcter but is so cute and does feature david I really don’t care. The writers of Lilo and Stitch probably weren’t deeply familiar with the show and likely just wanted a fun gag. Could be wrong there but it’s cute. He continues to act grossly out of character by trying to avoid going home at the end.. but again I find it simply because he’s in love, they have genuine chemstiry and I like to think they stayed in touch and he retired out there at some point once Jake was old enough to handle things himself. This may not be a ship I expected to support going in but I will die for it going out. 

So back to the main plot, Lilo uses Keoni’s body to imitate him which... she’s only loosely called out on and realizes is bad by the end only because she gets stuck in another body. And that’s not even getting into the fact she BREAKS UP WITH KEONI’S GIRLFRIEND. Yes really.. she just does that to get her out of the way. She comes around and realizes she was wrong and tries to fix it which would be fine.. if hte episode didn’t try to cop it out by revealing “Oh she’s not his girlfriend, she’s just someone who keeps telling people that”. It just feels lazy and dumb and a way to keep Lilo’s crush on Keoni for reasons I DO. NOT. GET. But the identity theft is just brushed aside by everyone: Keoni never finds out, and Jake just brushes it off. The real issue is more her trying to bribe keoni into likng her which while something kids need to learn is not the only thing she did wrong here. It feels like they didn’t think all the implications out here and it hampers the episode

Speaking of which as Gantu captures Jake, he sees him transform into dragon mode and assumes he’s the experiment, Jake’s charactization is pretty shallow.  And why yes it DOES feel weird writing sentences about a character with the same name thank you for asking. I wasn’t expecting a deep character piece or anything: This is a guest spot, the writers here are not the same normal ones for American Dragon. That’s fine. The problem.. is that they clearly did not get Jake. Grandpa being partly out of character is half the joke, Trixie actually gets a really nice moment towards the end, and Spud.. is eh. But out of them Jake just feels like a basic character description: He likes hip hop, he likes skateboards, he calls himself Am Drag despite that sounding like a good name for a drag act but a terrible name to shorten your title, he fights.. that’s it. 

While jake is all of that in the main series, he’s also a kind young man who while sometimes irresponsible does the right thing when the chips are down.  He’s someone weighed down by a responsiblity he didn’t ask for, often makes his life more difficult and often finds himself in trouble because his mother and grandfather won’t bother to tell his dad he’s a dragon. Yes that part still bothers me, and I don’t see why we couldn’t just have a superhero show where both parents know. But regardless this just dosen’t feel like Jake , like they just watched the intro and that was it. Jake feels more like a plot device in his own crossover. 

That being said there is some good stuff: The minute Jake realizes some Sci Fi stuff is going on instead of hte normal magic stuff he tells him “The am drag’s show isn’t about sci fi” a nice meta bit and then breaks out. Meanwhile Lilo takes on his form.. and ends up stuck after badly botching her run again, as Gantu finds the real shapeshifter. 

We get the best stretch of the episode from here though: Lilo awkardly tries to play jake and like jake we get a nice meta nod to how diffrent their show is as she’s worried about his belief in magical creatures.. and is startled out of her charade when Foo Dog talks, a really nice bit especially since it’s tame compared to the weirdness he deals with. Spud and Trixie have questions... only for Jake to show up and his agressive behavior leads to the best bit of the episode: Jake Vs Stitch. The catlyst is understandable: jake has no idea why Lilo’s taken his identity and Sttich is just protecting his best friend from harm. The animation is fluid, the fight is fun and quick and uses both’s powers stellarl. Whle “two heroes get into a misunderstanding and then fight” is a well worn cliche at this point, it’s moments like this that show why: you get to see two heroes who in this case never have interacted before or sense, duke it out, why each is special and it’s fun to watch. 

Lilo breaks it up, and admits to the whole thing.. including the whole give Keani the board stuff. While Jake and Spud, being awkard with girls and a loveable moron don’t see the problem with that Trixie gets a moment to shine. As far as I can remember she really didn’t get much on the show proper so it was a nice suprise to see her mentor lilo her, telling her trying to give someone gifts to love you is not okay, she should just be herself all that good stuff. It’s a nice character stuff and tha’ts the kind of character interaction this episode needed more of. 

With the misunderstandings washed away our heroes team up and storm gantu’s ship leading to another great sequence as Stitch rides on Jake’s back while the two keep him busy and Lilo gets turned back, Trixie complimenting her dress “Thanks I have 10 just like it at home”. It’s such a sweet and genuine moment” They head back out and gantu semeingly grabs morpholmew from where they hide.. only to find out when he gets back it’s spud, our adorable little blob monster transforming Gantu into a bunny and our heroes leaving. How does Gantu get out of being a bunny?

But it’s a nice enough gag. So we end the episode. We get another nice gag as grandpa had himself and his lady transformed to try and avoid going home, and Jake is fine with having lost out on the board what matters is he made a friend. Sadly we did not get a followup in ADJL., but spud does name our experiment, Morpholomew. 

We end on Morph getting his home: a costume shop where he gets paid in fried chicken, he was shown to enjoy it throughtout the episode and changes people into things. It’s a nice little button to the episode and one of the funnest parts of the show was figuring out where the experiment would end up at the end. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a really mixed bag. There is some good character interactions, two tremendous fight scens and Trixie gets a chance to shine for once if only for a scene or two, and the clashing genres end up making for some great jokes> The shows do go well together as while Lilo and Stitch is more laid back both have slice of life elements. And hasgawa X Grandpa is just oto cute for words. 

The episode is held back by Jake and Lilo’s lackluster characterizatons: Jake is simply the theme song as a character, which in theory is awesome because that theme song slaps but in practice is pretty lame, and Lilo is selfish and irresponsible even for her in a way that dosen’t feel at all convincing. It drags down what’s otherwise a fun crossover and Morpholomew is truly a unique and wonderful experiment. Still if you like either show it’s worth a watch even if you have to suffer through Keoni for it. It’s worth it.. I just wish it was better and hopefully the next 3 will keep the good parts but take out the bad. Granted this was produced last so I could be wrong, but here’s hoping.  Oh this episode also featured Miranda Cosgrove as the girl who claims to be Keoni’s girlfriend. This is also Keoni’s last episode meaning I do NOT have to worry about accidently running into him. Thank fucking christ. 

Next Time On American Dragon Jake Long: Jake’s dad drags him and his friends on a camping trip and Jake ends up encountering the Jersey Devil. Now all they need is a sexy lady devil cake to lure it out... what it worked for the Cake Boss. And yes that happened, Allison Pregler did an episode on that episode. Check it out. 

Next Time On Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: It’s the family, the family, proud familllyyy as the Prouds take a vacation at Peakly and Jumbas bed but not breakfast and we get some kind of squirrel demon for our experiment of the week. We also get Wizard Kelly appearing...

See you at the next rainbow. 

[vindicatedvirgil]

can i get some flirty logicality? mayhaps?

Summary: Patton and Logan are best friends; they go to the beach together and end up flirting endlessly. also i’m basing this off of west coast US beaches because those are the beaches that i know and the water is cold on our beaches and idk how others are.

Ship: Romantic Logicality (Logan x Patton)

word count: 2000. Exactly.

CW: explicit descriptions of the beach and ocean activities. i know this is a trigger for some people so i’m making it very apparent! also, nonbinary Patton using they/them pronouns!

thanks to cat and Danni from discord for helping me brainstorm some of these flirting ideas!

---

Patton was pacing back and forth in their apartment. They’d been looking forward to this day for weeks, so glad to finally see their best friend after they’d been separated by going to different universities. Now, it was summertime and it was their first beach day of their holidays. Except Patton had a huge problem. They’d been in love with Logan for practically the whole time they’d known each other. 

Patton sighed, staring into the mirror. They had on pale blue swim trunks and a white tank top, and their bag with sunscreen, snacks, water, and towels was by the front door. Logan was the first person they came out to when they realized they were nonbinary, and Logan had supported them through it all; through coming out to their parents, and even by buying them their first nonbinary flag, the one that hung proudly over their bed. 

And now, Patton thought they were ready to finally tell Logan how they felt. They thought that maybe being separated by distance for college would help them get over him, but it had only made them miss and crave the touch of their best friend even more. And so, Patton figured if they told Logan today and it went poorly, then they could finally move on. Even at the risk of losing the most important person in their life. 

When they got to the beach, they set up their towel, applied sunscreen, and laid in the sun for a bit, gazing out at the sparkling sun on the water. Maybe they’d tell Logan how they feel when they were in the water, so if the waves were too loud and Logan couldn’t hear, it would be okay. And they’d be able to move on.

“Hi, Patton,” Logan’s voice was there, and Patton looked up to see him wearing a long-sleeved black rash guard and dark blue swim shorts. Patton leapt to their feet and enveloped their best friend in a big hug, holding him closely.

“Hi, Lo! I missed you so much,” they said, practically clinging to Logan. Logan let out a low laugh, prying Patton off of him, then set his bag and towel down next to Patton’s.

“I missed you too,” he said quietly, adjusting his glasses; Patton noticed the thin sheer of sunscreen over Logan’s skin, and smiled against his shoulder. “Shall we sit for a moment or would you like to go play in the water?”

“Let’s sit for a bit, okay?” Patton stepped back from Logan’s embrace, though a bit hesitantly, and sat on their towel. Logan spread his towel out right next to Patton’s and sat down, one of his legs stretched out in front of him. The pair sat in silence for a few moments, Patton a bit fidgety but so happy that they were sitting beside their best friend. They glanced over to see Logan staring out at the ocean. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“Hm?” Logan blinked, then smiled faintly, still looking straight ahead. “Oh, I read a book about oceans and beaches last night. So I was thinking about some of the facts that I read about. Would you like to hear a few?”

“Oh, sure, Lo!” Patton smiled brightly at him, eyes still focused on the profile of Logan’s face. Patton always loved listening to Logan’s rambles about facts, regardless of the subject. Sometimes they’d listen to Logan’s facts late at night, and they’d fall asleep to the comforting sounds of his voice. Some people think that ocean waves are the most soothing noise, but Patton? Their calming sound of choice would always be Logan’s voice.

“Well… oceans cover a little bit more than 70% of the Earth. And while most sandy beaches are made of silica or mineral quartz, there are all kinds of beaches,” Logan explained, and Patton smiled, leaning back on their hands, still watching Logan intently. “There are beaches with white or yellow sands like this one, but beaches in other parts of the world, especially near volcanoes like in Hawaii, there are black sand beaches that are made of lava.” Logan finally glanced over at Patton, noticing them staring at him. ‘What is it?”

“Oh, um…” Patton flushed bright red, but they decided to be a little bit brave. “I was just thinking that I always thought that the sound of the waves was relaxing, but… your voice is better.” Logan’s ears turned red, and he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“O-Oh…” Logan didn’t say much other than that, and Patton worried that they’d upset him in some way. The pair sat in silence for a few moments, then Patton got onto their feet, their hands on their hips.

“Come on, Lo. Let’s go stand in the waves for a bit,” they suggested, smiling down at him. Logan nodded and got to his feet as well, and the pair walked down the sand bank until they got to where the waves were coming up. “Lo?” Patton was feeling a bit brave.

“Hmm?”

“Will you hold my hand while we’re in the waves? I don’t want to fall like last time,” they said, and Logan nodded as if he was remembering that moment. It was the previous summer, their last trip to the beach before leaving for school; Patton had gotten knocked over by a wave, and they ended up swallowing a bunch of sea water. Luckily, Logan was able to help them up and onto the shore so that they could regain their breath. Logan was always there for them when they needed him.

“Oh, sure thing,” Logan held his hand out, and Patton wanted to jump for joy, but resigned themselves to just linking their fingers with Logan’s. They stepped forward so that their toes met the cool water.

“Don’t let go, okay?” They whispered, stepping closer to Logan, who squeezed Patton’s hand. “Ever,” they whispered that final word so quietly, hoping that Logan wouldn’t hear. He didn’t make any indication that he heard.

“I won’t, Pat,” Logan responded, and Patton wished that he meant the ever part, too. The pair slowly stepped further into the ocean, their hands linked as if eternally, the cool water slowly rising up past their ankles and to their knees. “You know, in the original version of The Little Mermaid, the mermaid turns into seafoam when she doesn’t meet the sea witch’s demands of killing the prince,” Logan said quietly, reaching his free hand under the waves, trying to catch some of the foam. “She doesn’t end up with the prince.”

“That’s sad,” Patton whispered, their eyes lingering to watch Logan, who gazed out further at the sea, as if in deep thought. “Not much of a fairytale.”

“Hmm, no,” Logan mused, a playful smile on his face. “She doesn’t stay seafoam forever, though. She becomes a daughter of the air, able to watch the man she loves for all of eternity,” he explained. Patton frowned deeper, not liking that option either. But they didn’t have time to discuss it more, as Logan swept his spare hand through the water, splashing Patton’s chest.

“Hey!” Patton giggled, using their free hand to splash Logan back. “You know splashing is against the rules, Lo!”

“What rules? We didn’t agree on any rules prior to stepping foot into the ocean,” Logan smirked a little bit, and Patton thought that they would swoon, the way that they were being looked at by the man they loved. Logan didn’t splash Patton again, though, and the two stood in the waves, moving along, gazing at the sparkles on the surface of the water.

“It’s a beautiful day,” Patton murmured, leaning their head against Logan’s shoulder, their feet sinking into the sand a bit. “Lo?”

“Hmm?” Logan made a noise, indicating that he was paying attention, and Patton figured that then would need to be the right time. They took a deep breath, gazing up at their best friend, the way he was so enthralled with watching the waves come closer and crash behind them. But then they remembered that if Logan didn’t feel the same way, they could lose him forever, and they didn’t want to ruin the beach day, either. 

If Logan didn’t feel the same… there were only three options that they would pay attention to. Option one, Logan felt the same way and the two entered into a happy relationship (Patton didn’t want to think about what would happen if things went poorly). Option two, Logan didn’t feel the same, but still wanted Patton in his life and Patton would finally get over Logan. Option three, Logan doesn’t know how to respond and needs time to process.

That hidden fourth option taunted Patton, but… Patton was an optimist, after all.

“Remember when we went to Disney last year? And we had just gotten off of Space Mountain, and there was this couple in front of us holding hands?” Patton had thought about this moment a lot. It was something they had run in their mind over and over again, trying to dissect it, figure out what Logan meant by all of it. Was it the merch that the couple was wearing? Patton couldn’t remember the situation, just the words. Always the words. “You said that in an alternate reality, that could be us.” Logan inhaled sharply, but said nothing. “Why does that have to be an alternate reality, Lo? What if… what if I want that in this reality?” They sighed, lifting their head from Logan’s shoulder. “I’ve tried so hard to not want it, because you’re my best friend and I… can’t lose you. And I thought that being separated from you would help, but… it’s only made me realize how far I’ve fallen in love with you.” Patton closed their eyes tightly, ready to pull their hand away from Logan’s and run back to shore and go home to hide under the blankets for weeks. But Logan squeezed Patton’s hand.

“I said what I said because I thought…” Logan started, and Patton glanced up, meeting his eyes. “I thought you would never feel that way about me, Patton. I thought that I was going to be resigned to being your best friend forever, and I was okay with that, but… I had to say something. And nothing came from it, so I figured…”

“I was hungry and tired, Lo, I wasn’t thinking straight, I mean, I never am, but especially around you,” Patton was starting to get flustered, their hand slipping out of Logan’s grasp. “I’m awkward and fumbly and when you say stuff like that I don’t know how to respond— wait,” it finally hit them what Logan had said. “You… feel that way about me, too?” Logan sighed exasperatedly, nodding as he tightened his grasp on Patton. 

“Yes, Patton,” he whispered, pulling Patton closer to him. “I have for so long. You know how I am with feelings, though… I don’t understand them as well as you do. Still, I am proud of myself for realizing it as early on as I did,” Logan adjusted his glasses, and Patton laughed a little. They turned to face Logan, ensuring they had stable footing and that there weren’t any large waves coming. They pressed their forehead to Logan’s.

“I’ve dreamt of our first kiss for years, Lo, I just…” Patton breathed out, and Logan inhaled with them. “What if it’s terrible?”

“It’s us, Pat. It won’t be,” Logan said reassuringly, and put it to the test by leaning in and allowing their lips to finally meet, their glasses clashing a bit awkwardly as the waves hit Patton’s back. Patton wrapped their arms around Logan’s neck, pulling him closer to them.

Later on, Patton swore that all of the dreams they had about the first kiss they shared with Logan were nothing compared to the actual thing. All of that pining, all of that worrying, and all of that unease… it all got washed away with the ocean waves. 

[collecting-stories]

A Year Later - ep. 07 - JJ Maybank

A/N: I wanted to do an epilogue of sorts for The S’week and @d-reamingoutloud suggested looking into their lives a year after the story so that’s what I decided to do. Basically this is kind of where the reader’s relationship with them all is at. 

The S’week Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

John B. Routledge - 

John B’s Hand slipped out of yours, both of you forming a fist to side bump in a variation of the secret pogue handshake that you’d somehow come to adopt as your own in the last year. You were standing on the edge of the jetty, cooler in your other hand. 

“You ready to go?” John B asked, taking the cooler from you and setting it down below the seat before he held his hand out for you to climb aboard. It was early enough in the morning that it was still dark outside but the light on the boat cast a glow across the marsh, a rather calming effect on you as you prepared to spend the morning fishing with John B. An odd sort of tradition that had come about last year and had just stuck. A time and place that neither of you had to worry about other obligations or other people’s opinions of your friendship.  

“Yeah. New boat?” You asked, taking a look at the boat as you stepped on. John B stepped back to give you some room, nodding his head. 

“Got it last month, finally saved enough between rent and bills.” He replied, “being an adult sucks.”

“I hardly think 19 qualifies as being an adult.” You laughed, taking a seat as he pulled away from the jetty. It was still cold out for now, one of JJ’s hoodies keeping you warm as the light rush of air chilled your bare legs.  

“It does when I’ve got bills to fucking pay.” John B replied.  

“Touché.” You glanced back at him, “I thought you were doing the Winnebago thing with Kie? Surfing all the coasts or something?” 

Kiara was leaving at the end of the week to spend the summer in a Winnebago with a few friends from college. The last you had heard about the trip John B was tagging along too, eager, apparently, to get out of the obx. But here he was, spending his money on a new boat and seemingly unprepared to leave the island.  

“Nah, I thought about it but...I don’t know. She’s talking about it being a fresh start and how I’m in a slump but I know if I go with her-”  

You nodded, “not exactly a fresh start if you’re just tagging along with Kie wherever she goes.”  

You loved Kiara but you knew that she had a constant want to fix her friends problems, always the mom of the group in a way it killed her that things had never gone back to normal after the s’week debacle. The Week that Must Not Be Named, according to JJ.  

“Yeah, and listening to her try and fix things between everyone. I love her to death but the ‘we should put aside our differences’ spiel has yet to work on any of us.” John B replied, “except maybe you and Sarah.” 

“Me and Sarah are in it for life, she’s my like platonic soulmate best friend. I’d have to cut a part of myself out to not be friends with her anymore.” You admitted. Sarah could stab you in the back, and figuratively she had, and you would still be rooting for her in the end. You loved JJ and you cared about John B but Sarah was your ride or die.  

“That’s really touching.”  

“Oh shut up,” You laughed, tossing a flip-flop at him. “I love you too John B.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I was gonna say, I’ll take you up on your offer...if it still stands?” 

You’d came home almost every weekend because of your schedule but it was during spring break, on a day when JJ had work and you had gone over to the Chateau to hang out with John B, that you had mentioned your family’s vacation home in Hawaii. You usually went around Christmas and had that year, taking JJ with you for his first plane ride ever (which had been hilarious in itself). John B had mentioned wanting to get away from the obx and you suggested your family’s vacation home, free to him if he wanted to move out there for a little while.  

“Yeah of course, whatever you need.” 

“A serious change of scenery.” John B replied. The Outer Banks had always been his home but it was feeling more and more like a prison the longer he stayed there. Especially when he felt like he was running into JJ everywhere he went.  

“I’m guessing, if you’re aversion to Kie is that strong, you and JJ still aren’t talking?” You asked. It was an unspoken agreement between you and JJ that you never talked about his former best friend.  

“I got nothing to say to him.” He shrugged, “I’ve tried, I swear...it’s just, every time I see him I think about it and I feel like I wanna drown him in the ocean.” 

“I guess you won’t be coming to the boneyard on Friday then?” 

“Nah. I’ve got you and Kie and I don’t really wanna see anyone else. I’ve tried hanging out with other people we just don’t vibe ya know? I miss feeling like I had that group...I’m not gonna have that feeling here anymore.”  

“Hey I get that. When Rafe and I broke up I lost a lot of friends I thought I had.” You replied, “people can’t help feeling loyal to certain people.” 

“Maybe.” John B shrugged; it didn’t matter. Or he was trying to accept that he couldn’t change it. “But you’re here on the boat with me and we get along fine. You don’t try and bullshit me about JJ or tell me we should all be best friends again.” 

“It’s not my place. Besides, JJ and I have come to the agreement that we don’t talk about it.” You replied. It kept you both happy.

“Well it’s shit when you and Kie are in school cause then it’s just me and JJ on the cut.” John B admitted. He hadn’t complained too much about it during the school year but you knew that was just for your benefit. “What about you? I know you guys are cool but how is rooming with Sarah?”

“It’s good, feels like old times again ya know...JJ doesn’t come around, but...it what it is.” You shrugged.  

✰ ✰

Sarah Cameron -  

“I’m going to fail all my classes.” Sarah groaned, resting her chin on her forearms. She’d pushed her books away from her, forcing you to pick up your coffee when her textbooks threatened to knock it over.  

Finals were in a week and both of you had been studying like crazy, meeting up in the dorm or in the library for cram sessions between classes. Sarah was already planning on going to Nassau the first week of summer vacation with Topper and some college friends. Even if nobody actually knew what happened last summer it still felt different being in the Outer Banks now.  

“You are not, you’re literally one of the smartest people I know.” You replied, attempting to be encouraging as you texted Kiara about Pope’s birthday party coming up. Your books mirrored Sarah’s but you were taking a supposed break from studying for the five minutes your timer allotted.  

“But not the smartest?” She asked, lifting her head and narrowing her eyes at you. She grabbed her own cup of coffee off the table and took a sip as she looked over the books again. Nothing had changed.  

“I mean, I know Topper so...”  

“Oh my god, shut up, I just fucking spit out my coffee.” Sarah laughed, covering her mouth with her hand and reached for a napkin. “For real though, why couldn’t my dad have pulled a Lori Laughlin and like, paid off my college?”

You slipped your phone back on the table face down, clicking the side when it rang and pulling one of your books closer to distract you from it. “Because then he would’ve gotten caught and you would’ve been kicked out and probably blacklisted and everyone would be like ‘that girl is so dumb her dad paid off the college to pass her.’ And you’d have to move in with me and work retail.” 

“Stop it. What a fucking nightmare.” 

“The living with me or the working retail?” You asked, laughing at the annoyed face she made.  

“I’m gonna hire a new best friend who’s just like ‘yeah Sarah you’re so smart’, ‘your dad should pay for you to ace tests, you don’t need college’ and whatever other shit I pay them for.” She replied.  

“You could pay me, I’ll be your yes man.” You offered, silencing your phone when it rang again.  

“Who’s calling you?” Sarah asked, her attention drawn away from studying and Lori Laughlin to the phone that rang for a third time.  

“What?” You looked up, “no one.” You’d told JJ that you would call him when you were finished studying and that you were busy but that didn’t stop the incessant calling once he decided he felt like talking to you. Normally you wouldn’t care but you did your best to separate JJ from your life at school because Sarah was here and you didn’t feel like it was fair to flaunt that in front of her, even if it was accidental.  

“Seriously, I can see you clicking off your phone every couple minutes.” She replied, “Is it JJ?”

“Uh-” You bit your lip as you looked over at the offending electronic. It was no use pretending like he wasn’t the person on the other end of the call. You’d gone two semesters and a spring break without incident, surely, she wouldn’t care if you took one phone call. But you still felt guilty, you weren’t sure if that would ever go away. “It’s no big deal, I can talk to him later.”

“I’m fine!” Sarah insisted, “seriously I’ve got like a real date on Friday.” 

“I just wanna call him back real quick.” You replied, “I think it’s about going home for the weekend.”

“For Pope’s birthday?”  

“Yeah.” You’d been staying on campus with finals so close but it you knew Pope was going to be home for the weekend for his birthday and Kiara would be there and you didn’t want to miss spending time with them. Especially since you wouldn’t see them again until hell week was over and you were moving out of your dorm.  

“Kie mentioned it to me last week.” Sarah explained, “Are you guys doing anything special?”

“As far as I know it’s just the four of us.” You replied. John B hadn’t been hanging around either of his former friends. He still saw Kiara when she was home and you whenever you came home for the weekend, but that was sans JJ or Pope. If either of them was around than John B kept his distance.  

“Go, go. Seriously, I’m fine.” 

You pushed your chair back as your phone rang one more time, finally answering it. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

✰ ✰

JJ Maybank -

“I’ve been thinking,” JJ started to say, sitting on a chair in The Wreck with you on his lap. Before he could continue you raised an eyebrow at him, running your fingers through his hair to get him to look up at you.  

“That’s never good.”

JJ stuck his tongue out but kept talking, undeterred by your comment, “...you should drop out.” He announced.  

You laughed, knowing that JJ wasn’t serious at all. He’d been making the same suggestion to you since September. “No way in hell! Why would I do that?”

“So I don’t have to go weeks without seeing you.” He shrugged, fingers slipping beneath your shirt as he laid a kiss against your neck.  

“A more tempting offer than I expected...what’ll we do on all these weeks spent actually seeing each other?” You asked, smiling. You couldn’t help but play along whenever he asked you to leave school. It was all just for fun, if anything JJ had the most supportive person you had in your life during school.  

“I can think of a few things.” JJ replied, squeezing your side and brushing his nose against your collar and neck.  

“Oh god.” You laughed, “stop we’re in public. There are families with children here.”

“How do you think they got the kids?” He shrugged.  

“You’re a terrible person.” You replied, “come on, Kie and Pope will be here soon.” 

“You’ve been home for like an hour and you’re already dying to see our friends instead of me.” JJ whined.  

“An hour? Babe, I got in this morning...we spent the whole morning ‘unpacking’ in my room.” You pointed out. You’d taken the earliest ferry over that you could and met JJ on the docks. It didn’t matter that you’d just seen him two weeks ago or that you facetimed him every night, seeing him in person gave you the best feeling in the world. It was undeniable.  

“Okay, I know I did not come all the way here just to watch you guys mack on each other.” Kiara announced as she came over to the table.  

“Came all the way over? You fucking work here Kie.” JJ replied, rolling his eyes as you got up to give her a hug. He frowned at the loss of attention, even if he did know that going out with everyone meant not getting you all to himself.  

“I had to go pick up Pope and then drive back.” Kiara said, as if that was a viable excuse.

“I’m like five minutes away...walking.” Pope pointed out, giving you a hug before grabbing a seat next to JJ.  

“No, move.”

“I’m not moving!” Pope exclaimed, “dude, don’t push my chair.”

“He’s being a brat cause I’m apparently more excited to see you guys than I was to see him.” You replied, laughing as Pope smacked JJ’s hands away from his chair. You sat across from your boyfriend, sticking your tongue out at him.  

“You are.”

“I am not!”  

“She is.” Kiara said, grinning at you, “it’s okay I know you only date JJ so you can hang out with us.”

“Hey!”

“I know, what am I gonna do while you’re away?”

“It’s okay,” Pope said, reaching across the table and putting his hand over yours, “I’ll still be here.”

“Thank god.”

“Okay, seriously, the three of you are the worst.” Despite his words when you looked over at JJ he was smiling, eyes brighter than they’d been when you met him almost a year ago. Things weren’t perfect but they were good.  

-

Taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @tiredfeels @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla@poguestyleskye @ssprayberrythings @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee@linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @mirjanak @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @celestialmaybank @mybnkjj @pineappleandcherries @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @balletandyuzu @oh-annaa@aiifandomsunite  @x-lulu @ceruleanjj @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan  @allie-mcginn@pcterparxer @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts@copper-boom @talksoprettyjjx @5am-cigarette @smiithys @jolomez @timotaychalabae  @pixelated-pogues @booksandshish  @ponyboys-sunsets @prettyyboyspence @obxlife @downbytheouterbanks @pancakefancake @danicarosaline @sspidermanss @k-k0129 @apoguecalledjj @annedub @mendesmaybank @httpstarkey 

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

[bexo-tic]

Breath Play - Spencer Reid X Reader

Spencer Reid X Reader Slow Burn

Season 10 Episode 17

Word Count: 3234

 The sound of heels clicking overwhelms my senses. I can’t believe I’m here, in the BAU office. Sure, I’ve been here plenty of times during my childhood to visit my uncle, but this time I came to work. My heartbeat slows as I take in the familiar smell of coffee brewing. It’s almost nostalgic, reminding me of the times I’d surprise Uncle Aaron with a visit. My heart aches a little as I think of Aunt Haley, but I push the thoughts from my mind. This is my first day and I need everything to be perfect. 

“Y/N,” he smiles warmly as I peek my head into his office. I hadn’t seen Aaron since I left for college, I was too busy working on my degrees. We still called once a week, and that is why it didn’t feel forced or awkward to slide into conversation with him after 8 years.

“Well, everyone is at the table because we have a new case, I can introduce you there.” He leads me out of his office and into a small room filled with only a round table and a screen where the team waits. Their presence makes me nervous. They have all this experience with their job and probably only remember me as Aaron’s little niece if they remember me at all. 

“Team, we have a new intern, Y/N Y/L/N. She’s my niece on Haley’s side.” He clears his throat after mentioning her and I can tell he isn’t as over it as everyone would assume. “This is Derek Morgan, Kate Calahan, Jennifer Jereau, David Rossi, and Spencer Reid. And our Tech Analyst Penelope Garcia.”

“Save the pleasantries, Aaron. She knows me,” David says as he gets up to hug me. The smell of his cologne fills my lungs, but not in an overbearing way. He cups my face in his hands. “You’re all grown up; it’s hard to believe.”

“I don’t think I believe it yet either,” I laugh as I sit down and he goes back to his seat. 

“I hate to interrupt the joy, but we need to get to Wisconsin, also known as the lovely badger state, home of milk and cheese,” Penelope says. She goes into explaining the case and how the bodies of 3 women had been discovered as late as this morning. I tense my body to keep from shivering at the sight of their photos. 

That might be the part that always gets to me, seeing the photos of the victims happy and smiling. I can’t imagine their faces once they realized what was going to happen to them. I watch as they discuss the case, their energy, and ideas building off each other. It happens so smoothly and effortlessly like they aren’t talking about murders. But to them this is normal, maybe they’re a little desensitized to it. 

“Whether he knows the victims or not, he’s hit his stride and he’s not gonna take time to cool off. Wheels up in 30,” Aaron says, distracting me from my thoughts. I grab the “go bag” I left in my uncle’s office which is better described as a suitcase on the edge of exploding. It was my first trip and I didn’t know how long we’d stay so I panic-packed what was probably too much clothing. As I leave the office I bump into something hard. I look up and see Derek.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry. I didn’t even look and-” He holds up a hand to stop my rambling.

“It’s fine, it takes more than a suitcase to knock me down,” he says with a smile. I let out a relieved sigh and he continued talking.

“Rossi says you’re fresh out of college. What degrees do you have?”

“I have a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Masters in Criminal Justice.”

“And you’re how old?”

“26, I just took a lot of summer classes,” I shrug.

“Sounds a little like Reid,” he laughs. “Real smart guy, been here since he was 24. He graduated high school at 12.” I feel my jaw open and quickly try to close it. 

“That’s um- wow.” 

“Insane, I know. Let me help you get to the jet.”

“Yeah, thanks. I was going to ask my uncle where to go.”

“So is having Hotch as an uncle the same as having him as a boss?”

“Mm, I’d say yeah. He’s pretty reserved, but once you’ve known him long enough you can read him like a book. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s more like he’s too busy thinking to remember to talk to you.”

“Sounds about right,” he chuckles. “Set your bag here and just through that door is the jet.”

“Oh, thanks again for showing me.”

“No problem, Y/N.” He walked onto the plane. It felt strange hearing him call me by my first name when everyone else was referred to by their last name. But maybe I was reading too much into it. It was my first day and we couldn’t have made a bond as he had with everyone else in the 5-minute walk to the jet. I took a deep breath to calm my thoughts and walked through the door.

Already they were discussing the case again. Hearing them bounce ideas off each other and analyze was almost comforting if you forgot they were talking about a murderer. Their dynamic was so in tune like they all held the same vibration. Part of me didn’t want to speak and mess up the flow of the conversation. 

“Alright Dave and Reid, go to the Medical Examiner with Em. Morgan and Kate go to the newest crime scene. JJ and I will interview friends and family at the station,” Aaron announced. My fingertips began to tingle with anticipation. This is happening! A part of me was excited to be here. I’d always admired my uncle when I was younger for putting away the bad guys and here I was beside him. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I tried desperately to calm down. It was my first case and I was determined not to mess this up. I didn’t want Aaron thinking I couldn’t handle this and sending me home, so I was determined to keep a calm demeanor. 

<<< >>>

“Cartilage around the windpipe was damaged, but the COD was actually a crushed trachea,” the examiner says as he leads us to the victims’ bodies. 

“I’m surprised Emma didn’t go into cardiac arrest before then,” Spencer says, looking back at me and David. I nod in agreement because I don’t have anything to counter with. I question why Aaron even sent me with them to the M.E. when I don’t have enough experience to be much help here.

“Nobody has sex for 6 straight hours, not even sting,” David says, pulling my attention back to the report. That’s where it should be. “Maybe he’s interacting with them beforehand.”

“Nonetheless, it’s an endurance test. He’d have to be in pretty great physical shape,” Spencer says. I try to form my own ideas as they talk, to just bring something to the table and not feel like I’m useless and watching from the sidelines. 

“Well, do you think strangulation is just the dispatching method, then?” David asks.

“Erotic asphyxiation,” I call from behind them. They both turn to look at me and I feel my heart move up my throat. “I mean, the bruising from repeated strangling and releasing is similar to that.”

“If that’s the case, isn't the pleasure usually all for the recipient?”

“Maybe not for him,” Spencer answers. “Cutting off his victim’s air supply might be how he satisfies his own urges.” 

I sigh, I might have just contributed something. I don't want them to think I can’t do anything to help. My eyes wander to the other victims. She has the same bruising as the other victim except her hair is blonde, Donna Rayburn. She almost looks like me, but her eyes are blue, not the dark brown I got from my dad. Noticing all our similarities makes me itch and I feel exposed. I jump when a hand touches my back.

“Hey, we’re heading back to discuss everything with the team,” David says. “Are you alright?”

I can feel Spencer’s eyes burning into me from behind, he’s not very good at acting like he isn’t listening to our conversation. I can’t help but wonder if he thinks I’m even qualified to be here; his intelligence is a little intimidating. He could probably profile circles around me.

“I’m fine, just nervous. First day jitters,” I smile in what I hope is a convincing way. David leads me to the car and I sit in the back on the way to the station. Looking out the window keeps me distracted and I let my mind wander. I wonder how the people who live here feel about the news. Everyone says “It could never happen here”, but somehow it always does.

“Six hours is a long time, especially late at night, for someone to be held and no one to hear anything,” Aaron says as David, Spencer and I make it to the table. Again they delved into a conversation trying to connect the victims. So far, the only thing they had in common was their interactions with the unsub. After what seemed like hours of discussion, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and got up to find coffee. 

I found my way to a small kitchen with two coffee pots in it. I grabbed a guest mug and poured in the steaming liquid, leaving enough room for the cream and sugar packets on the counter. A voice behind me makes me jump.

“Did you know Hawaii is the only state in the U.S. that grows coffee?” I turn and find Spencer standing there with his thermos in his hands.

“Um no?”

“Yeah, the ideal coffee growing conditions require high altitudes, rich soil, and tropical climates.”

“Do you start every conversation off with facts?” I ask with a laugh.

“Mostly,” he smiles. “Oh, and I wouldn’t drink that coffee if I were you. Hotch just said we’re heading back to the hotel and regrouping in the morning.” 

I checked the time on my phone, 11:33 PM. No wonder I was so tired, with the jet ride and busy day we had. The ride to the hotel felt like it lasted a few minutes, so I must have dozed off in the car. Aaron handed me the key to my room which I shared with JJ. I barely had time to shower before I fell asleep in the white sheets of the bed.

<<< >>>

I couldn’t believe the unsub killed again last night. I knew he would kill again, but it didn’t feel right that I hadn’t noticed. How did we all fall asleep so easily when the murderer we were trying to find had claimed a new victim? And here I was walking around Lynn Boyd’s house as everyone scurried around for evidence. I find my way into her bedroom.

“The bindings, the silk scarf, the rough sex. He’s using ‘Bare Reflections’ to choose his victims,” Rossi says. Finally, another step forward. Last night we concluded the unsub would be a married man, but it didn’t give us much to go off of. A call to Garcia would help us understand more.

‘If this book is mainstream, then his victim pool is large.”

“Garica, did any of the other victims besides Lynn own a copy?” JJ asks.

“Mary Healy had it on her tablet. Donna Rayburn checked it out from the library twice. Emma and Lynn both purchased copies locally.”

Although the book tied our victims together, who even knew how many other married women in the comfort zone owned the book as well. The list of possible targets would be too long to help us tie it back to the unsub.

“And- hey, a lot of the saucy texts are direct quotes from the book,” Garcia says. “Oh! Speaking of texts, I culled them from that he met Mary via message board, Donna at a coffee shop, Emma at the gym, and Lynn, he met Lynn using a fake profile on a discreet dating website for married people.”

“Thanks, Garcia,” Rossi said, ending the call.

“Profile?” JJ asked. He nodded in response. The ride back to the station passed in a blink. Maybe it was the satisfaction I was feeling. My fingertips tingled because we were so close to finally catching this guy.

“Based on area demographics, we believe that we’re looking for a physically fit white male in his mid-30s to early 40s,” Aaron starts.

“He’s a homicidal dominant with an interest in role-play,” Callahan continues. They build off each other so smoothly, and the rest of the team keeps it going.

“We believe his charisma has allowed him to latch onto women who are interested in a popular erotic romance novel called ‘Bare Reflections’.”

“In it, a sheltered female teacher falls for a handsome mogul with a dark past who forces her into a submissive role.”

“Despite her initial worries, Amber Stone finds she can’t live without Carson Bare, warts and all.”

“We believe the unsub and his victims are consensually recreating a scenario from this book.”

“In that scene, Carson introduces Amber to BDSM by binding her to a bed as they have rough sex.”

“The unsub uses this role play to get his victims into a vulnerable position before his fantasy takes hold.”

”This has provided the unsub with a victim pool who have dropped their guard.” 

“His first victims were single, but his last two were married. This escalation indicates that he may be married himself and probably has a family.”

“This unsubs M.O. takes patience and caution, and is firmly rooted in a need-based desire, which means he won’t be stopping anytime soon. Thank you.” Aaron says, ending the profile presentation. I look back at the crime scene photos trying to piece together the puzzle. I notice Reid quickly skimming through the pages of “Bare Reflections”. 

“Are you even reading it?” I ask.

“I can read 20,000 words per minute, so yes.” He doesn't even have to look up when he responds.

“Robot,” I say under my breath as I roll my eyes, but from his smirk, I can tell he heard me.

“There’s not a single mention of erotic asphyxiation anywhere,” he says as Rossi and a detective approach us.

“It’s the unsub’s fetish then.” Rossi’s brows furrow. 

“He’s a charmer that knows that some people lose themselves in the moment and others stop at nothing to please their partners,” my thoughts come out loud as I walk towards them. “Somehow he makes his victims feel safe enough to abandon their hard limit.”

“What’s a hard limit?” the detective asks.

“It’s a common BDSM practice. Hard limits are anything that’s an automatic no-go. It differs by person and taste,” Rossi states.

“And a soft limit is an in which a submissive hesitates or places strict conditions on,” Reid pipes up.

“I had no idea that world had so many regulations. Where does he find somebody like-minded?”

“In “Bare Reflections”, Carson Bare takes Amber to an event called a munch.”

“Which is?”

“According to the book, it’s a social gathering for people interested in BDSM.”

“Where the heck do you find that?”

“We should call Garcia.” Reid nods at Rossi.

“I found one,” he says, showing his simple google search. While Rossi and Callahan go to the munch, the rest of us stay behind to go over the case files.

<<< >>>

“He knew crossing state lines would make it more difficult to link the crimes,” Aaron says about the three prostitute murders Garcia has just brought up. 

“That’s a very different cooling-off period. I wonder what was so special about those dates,” Detective Pierce questions. Reid grabs an expo marker and turns to the nearest board.

“First kills were in 2000, 2007, and then he went dormant until last year. What triggers him?” He writes all the dates on the board.

“Deaths in the family,” Aaron asks.

“He could keep losing jobs?”

“These are sex crimes so what interferes with sex drive? Children,” Callahan offers. “The addition of a child would disrupt even the happiest of couples.”

“More specifically the births,” Reid nods and you can see the gears in his head turning. “What if each of these kills corresponds to the births of the unsub’s own children?”

“Garcia, how many men in the hunting zone had a child in 2000?”

“16 and because I already know what the follow-up question is going to be, 5 had their second child 8 years ago, and two had their third last year.”

“Were either one of them busted for something like peeping or exposure?” I ask.

“Yes and no, there's a Patrick Jon Murphy. He’s a physical therapist, here’s the thing he was never actually arrested. I do have some sealed family court docs, though, that I’m about to unseal and learn … Oh, when he was 12, he witnessed his neighbor strangle his wife to death in a sex game gone bad.”

“Even though he was only a witness, that moment created a single event imprint on his love map and probably started his interest in breath play.”

“Is his wife interested in BDSM?”

“Uh, no, doesn’t look like it. The Murphy’s have been in and out of couple’s therapy for years.”

“The therapy roller coaster may have been due to intermittent periods of frustration then bliss surrounding the murders.”

“And his urges increase during periods of non-intimacy.”

“If the unsub’s trigger was the birth of his kids, why change the victimology and accelerate the kills now?” I ask.

“I think the guilt he’s felt has been alleviated by ‘Bare Reflections’, and the intense female interest in it has justified his impulses,” Reid answers. Our phones beep as Garcia sends us his address and we race out the door. His house isn’t even that far from the station, it’s crazy that he’s been under our noses the whole time. JJ and Reid come out of the house looking defeated.

“He’s at the nanny’s house, we’ve gotta move!” We don't even have time to buckle up before we're barreling down the road. When we arrive at the house I can see a girl standing at the front door. 

"You two take the front of the house, I'm going around back," Morgan declares. I can see him run after the unsub on foot as Callahan grabs the girl inside the house. That must be his daughter. The rest of us storm inside, clearing each room as we make our way through the house. Calls from upstairs lead us into the bedroom where we find a woman tied to her bed. Immediately we untie her as a medic comes in to check her out.

<<<   >>>

“So, how was your first case?” Aaron asks as he sits across from me on the jet.

“Um, intense,” I nod and he laughs. “But I really enjoyed helping solve it.”

“I knew you had it in you.” He squeezes my hand. “Want some coffee?”

“No thanks, I’m gonna try to sleep before we land.” I curl into my chair and try to let the tension release from my body as I fall asleep.

[werezmastarbucks]

more like honeymoon [3]

previous part

word count: 2279

warnings: idk why I keep making Damon the butt of the joke

music: in the text

SMITHEREENS by twenty one pilots segment

You were exhausted beyond belief as you sped down the road. Soon, there’s a very familiar turn that leads towards the Salvatore mansion. And from there, the exit into the normal, moving world. You couldn’t believe you’d see them again. Even Damon, whose guts you came to hate over time, even before he threw you into prison. That’s what isolation does to a person. That’s what the illusion of freedom does to a human. Prison was prison after all.

You nearly crashed into the tree that stood lonely on the turn, the landmark Salvatore oak. It would’ve killed you, and that was unnecessary now.

There were three shadows on the lawn as you left the car. It was almost midnight. You limped across the yard, feeling ribs poke your lungs. Kai must have cracked at least one from how hard he punched back. He never held back, in anything, and for that, you respected him. Because he respected you enough to inflict real pain, like you were equal. Although you clearly weren’t.

Elena didn’t stand the tension and ran towards you, got you in her arms, and you suffocated on her Elena smell. The smell of home. You couldn’t believe you were going back now. Damon was the same. Why wouldn’t he be? Dark and ironic, a little concerned, he evaluated you with his careful glance.

“How did you get away from him?”

“I killed the motherfucker”, you grumbled. The wounds were fresh, both physical and mental. Realizing that you’ve technically been his prisoner all this time... That is something yet to digest. Here you had the honors to finally be the last of Kai’s archtypes: the victim. You had been a lover, a friend and an ally already. Like an invisible hand was dealing Tarot cards, now you had to get a mouthful of bitterness. You brushed it aside.

“So I had some time ahead”.

“How have you been?” Elena asked, without letting go of you. You eyed the third silhouette, almost blending in with the night darkness. The witch, to do the spell. It was somebody you didn’t know: a tall, dark guy, a little menacing. Who knows what changed in nine months.

“Does he know where you went?” Damon asked.

“Of course he does. But he’s there, and I’m here. Can I go sleep now? We have to do it tomorrow, or he’s going to catch up with us”.

Damon narrowed one eye. The prick didn’t trust you. Perhaps the memories of you opposing him were too fresh.

“You sure you’re ready to leave your boyfriend here?” he asked. Elena shot him a warning glance.

You lifted your shirt, wincing painfully, to show the blue bruising on your ribs. You could swear it was the shape of Kai’s loving kiss.

In the house, you were turning your head right and left as if something could change here. Virtually everything was the same, except three (!) new people inside. The witch boy was quiet. He looked like he was cautious, and you thought, he should be, in case Kai catches him.

Elena brought you a cup of coffee. You noticed a hip of winter coats in the corner of the room, piled up on the couch. The fireplace was blazing as if it was cold outside, too.

“What month is it?” you asked, dizzy with exhaustion and pain.

“It’s Christmas”, Elena said.

“Are you going to be okay? Do you need... blood?”

“I’ll be fine at midnight. The day starts again, and my body is the same as when I first came here... well, you know”.

You looked at Damon, tried to picture him here, when he was stuck here with Bonnie and Kai. He must have been going crazy in this cage with two people he found hard to tolerate. His eyes were flickering thoughtfully with the flames from the fireplace.

“Hey”, you looked at the witch guy. You realized you didn’t know his name. You reached out to him, and he accepted your hand.

“I’m Frank”, he said gloomily. Elena looked at her wristwatch.

“Oh”.

“What?”

“That’s a funny name for a witch”, you said, “all the witches I know have extra names”.

Frank shrugged like it was a punch at him.

“Frank, I’m scared Kai will come. He knows I’m going back, and he doesn’t want to let me go”.

“Yeah, what are we going to do if he comes?” Elena asked, fear in her eyes. She really was afraid of Kai. That still impressed you. You still felt like a child, amazed at something. He scared somebody like this. So that they look out the window, small shivers on the back of their necks, their eyes darting from side to side. He creeped someone out so hard their lips went dry as they sucked the air in, listening hard, listening for his steps approaching. Your Kai.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put a signal spell. It will shield the territory around the house. If someone approaches - anybody at all - we’ll know”.

The three of you looked at Frank. He looked grave, like he was taking this whole thing too seriously. You wondered how long he’s been in this Mystic Falls mess. How little he meant for the rest of them that they decided he’d be fit to go here and face you and Kai Parker.

You blinked tiredly.

“I’m blacking out. I need some sleep”, you muttered. Coffee did not energize you; quite the opposite. The soft warm liquid made you want to sleep badly. Your mortal yesterday’s body was almost collapsing.

Elena helped you come upstairs into Stefan’s room, and you nested on his bed.

This whole rapid trip over the whole country almost got you dead. It was crazy. In the morning, you were back in Hawaii, in your spacious, beautiful house on the North Shore of Oahu, and now you were back here on the edge of Virginia, trying to fight your way back into the usual world where living and traveling cost, where there were rules and people ready to stop you when you get too carried away with having fun... You wondered what you loved so much about that outer world, and it was your last thought before you fell asleep.

In the morning, everybody looked much better and more relaxed. You stretched your back, hearing the bones crack healthily, and the only pain you felt from yesterday was ghostly. It would pass soon, just like hurt from being deceived by the person you loved the most in the world. Once you get out...

The time of eclipse was coming. You felt weird, hollow as you sat at the breakfast table, and thought of all the breakfasts Kai made you. He was so inventive. Nine months is thirty days nine times. Not once you had the same breakfast. He had all the ways to cook food in his head, and it horrified you. He had spent so much time alone he has learnt literally everything one can learn. It was wrong.

You packed your bag and brought it downstairs. Damon eyed it judgingly. You reckoned he was being so cold because he felt extremely guilty. You could bet your own life that the moment they did the spell he was sorry about being harsh. He wished he could get you back. Inside, Damon was soft, but outside, he had this thick, hard skin that was almost like scar tissue.

“What’s this?”

“These are my things”.

Damon’s eyes narrowed, and he was about to say something sarcastic, but Frank rushed in between you, pushing you away and out of the house.

“We gotta go”, he said shortly. And nodded at the bag.

“Damon, you’ll get it? Let’s go”.

Elena was carrying the coats in her hands as disgruntled Damon walked side by side with her with your bag.

“The witch boy is getting too bold”, he thought out loud.

“I just want to get away from here before this guy comes here and kills us all”, Frank replied without changing the pace. He was walking through the forest, leading the way.

“We won’t get out of here before eclipse either way”, you reminded him.

“Uh-huh”.

“Is it cold there?” you asked Elena. She shook her head to throw the hair away from her face.

“This winter is very cold. Just like when we were little kids”.

You could feel excitement rise in you. Christmas. Snow. Changing days. It was good before, and was about to get even better. You almost shone from the inside.

The witch observed the forest. He was very quiet. You looked through the trees too, bringing the last look on this strange world that became not what it was supposed to be to you.

You descended into the well of the cave, Damon threw your bag on the ground right into the circle of the sun.

“What’s inside anyway?”

“Clothes”.

“Clothes?” he repeated, apalled.

“Listen, there’s things you can’t get back in 2010s. Rare things. And expensive jewelry, okay? I got diamonds there, Damon, I’m not throwing them away”.

Damon was silent for some time. He was trying to figure out, inside his brain, what life has been like for you, for the last nine months. He would never guess right, even though he must have been pretty close.

Everybody looked up at the sky and the dark ring coming to consume the sun. Palpable nervousness filled the air. You stepped towards each other. Elena pursed her lips like she was pondering something.

“Isn’t it bad we’re leaving him again?” she asked.

They all looked at you like you could give them a prognosis on Kai.

“Fuck that guy”, you said gloomily. Frank shook his hands like a surgeon before the operation. Damon was eyeing you with dark satisfaction.

“He wasn’t what you expected?”

You kept silent.

“Did he hurt you?”

You thought of all the times Kai accidentally slapped you on the head while he was cooking. His damn hands always flying all over the kitchen. After being slapped around like a junior dish girl, you learnt to stay away when he’s busy with the pans and plates. The only thing you did was chopping.

“A lot”, you replied.

Elena squeezed your hand.

“Isn’t he going to be much worse once he gets out?” Frank asked suddenly, “If you said he was that mad before... now that we’re taking away Y/N and leaving him behind. And if he has the spell and the ascendant, that means he’s going to get out on his own, and he’ll be vengeful”.

His words echoed in the cave like hammer.

“Bonnie’s destroying this world as soon as we get out”, Damon said. Your head snapped to him.

“What?”

“He won’t have time to get out. He’ll need to wait until tomorrow, and by that time, this prison world will be gone. And Parker will be gone, too”.

There wasn’t much more time for talking; the eclipse was almost full. You took the witch’s elbow as he chanted and lifted the new ascendant, letting it levitate. Elena held your hand on the other side. As Frank’s hand got free, he took your palm and squeezed it, too, and you finally realized you’re going home.

The white light shone upon you, carrying you and your bag away.

The forest was white, too. Your ankles slowly got cold and, as you looked down, you saw snow. It was closing to evening in the woods in Mystic Falls, and the light was slowly draining from the sky. From the first look it seemed like the real universe wasn’t as brilliant as the magical prison world.

You couldn’t believe you made it. You sighed to see the foggy air leaving your mouth. And saw Damon and Elena’s mutilated smiles turning into gaping mouths of anguish. The traveling spell wore out almost all magic from Kai, and he turned back into his usual self, dropping Frank skin. In the last blast of remaining magic, he threw his hand forward and sent the vampires away. The leaped through the air, Damon further and higher than Elena. She must have bought him the last second when she regretted leaving Kai behind. You told yourself once again, he was changing. There was a twisted type of rationality in him now. You stood on one leg as the cold snow pierced your feet through your Converse sneakers.

Damon was impaled on the thick outstanding branch on a tree, groaing in pain. Elena was thrown against another tree, twisting in the air, and collided with the shaft with her back, breaking her spine in half. They didn’t manage to utter a word.

Damon was now hanging there, cursing like a sailor he might have been once, many years ago.

“Cold?” Kai asked. You shrugged.

“Should’ve gotten some warm shoes, too”.

“Ah, you weakling. It’s just snow!”

“I’m just going to get sick, Kai”.

He looked at you and smiled. You knew everything would go well, and you were still happy to see him, like it was a crazy stunt he was supposed to pull. Although you knew that by the time you went to bed last night Frank had already been dead.

“Hop on”, he gave up, picking up your bag. You pushed on his shoulders and jumped on his back, clutching his sides with your knees. You pressed your face to the back of his head for a second. Soft, slightly curly hair. Your Kai.

The last things Damon heard from the tree were,

“Let’s nick his car”.

“No”.

“Why not?!”

“Because we’re not scoundrels, Kai! It’s not the magical world anymore, you can’t steal people’s cars!”

“Oh my god...”

[nightingiall]

things i love about you: you make lovin’ fun

a post-little do you know drabble series // story page

Niall was, in a word, exhausted.

For some reason, despite the many cups of coffee he’d consumed, he still felt himself nodding away at his desk, unable to keep his eyes open. The words on his screen were so blurry that he kept rubbing at his eyelids, as though attempting to scrub the drowsiness away would help.

He felt like he’d been behind at everything lately. He was always writing an article down to the last minute, barely making a deadline before he was assigned a new story. Eventually, he’d had no choice but to take his job home, often working on a story well into midnight, only making it to bed after his girlfriend basically had to drag him there. Even then, he couldn’t sleep, mind constantly buzzing with words and synonyms and phrases he could use to replace something in an article. It was like he was buried under a pile of work all the time.

“Here,” someone was saying to him, and he pulled his hands away from his eyes—apparently, he’d been rubbing at them again—to find his co-worker Duncan sliding a cuppa onto his desk. “You look like you need this. And if you have more coffee I’m afraid your heart’ll give out.” After tossing some sugar packets and a wooden stirrer onto the desk, he smiled, flashing that famous gap-toothed grin that Niall had seen woo many ladies at various evenings spent in multiple Manhattan bars. “And how will I explain that to your girlfriend.”

Niall rolled his eyes, laughing along nonetheless as he ripped open a sugar packet and dumped it into the hot beverage. “Thanks, mate.” Working with Duncan, a fellow Irishman, was something Niall didn’t expect to enjoy as much as he did. Always laughing and joking, he could be counted on to lighten the mood. He was also whip smart and was basically like Niall’s human thesaurus, something Niall never forgot to thank him for. Besides, the rest of his friends loved him, which he took as a good sign for keeping him around.

Duncan settled into his chair at the neighboring cubicle. “Need help with anything?”

A scoff pushed through Niall’s lips as he mindlessly stirred at his cuppa. “A fuckin’ break would be nice.”

This made Duncan laugh. “Tell me about it.” They had been absolutely swamped for the past few weeks, and if the darkness beneath their eyes were any indication, work had clearly taken a toll on them. “Why don’t you take a vacation, mate? You didn’t go anywhere this summer.” Duncan stretched back into his chair, his spine giving a rather satisfying crack. “Take the missus out to a beach somewhere or something. Might do you some good.”

Niall smiled softly at this, reclining back in his chair as well. It was not lost on him that this topic had come up several times over the past few weeks. “Yeah, we were talking about going somewhere but never finalized any plans.” The tea slinked down his throat as he took a sip, filling him with warmth and a newfound focus. Perhaps they should just take off and go somewhere for a week. He needed some sun and some quality time with his Mona. Preferably soon too. He felt himself slowly starting to go crazy, just sitting there at his desk. “Any suggestions?”

Duncan hummed, pressing the tip of his eraser to the corner of his lip. “Anywhere in the Caribbean is always nice. My mam’s from Barbados and it’s always quiet down there around this time.” He took a sip of his own drink before lighting up with another idea. “Oh, Hawaii in the off-season is great too. No big crowds, good prices, fantastic food.”

Pristine beaches, warm saltwater air, and a room that overlooked it all sounded like a phenomenal idea to Niall. Most of all, he wouldn’t have to share his time with anyone else except for Mona. Not with work, not with clients, not with friends or colleagues, even though he very much enjoyed every one of them. For now, though, he just wanted uninterrupted relaxation time with the person he loved most.

He and Duncan talked about Hawaii for the rest of their shift. While sorting through emails and drafting up an article, he quizzed Duncan on the most ideal resorts and sights for a quiet and peaceful but still fun trip. By the time the day was over, he had a rough draft, which he sent over to his editor, and some semblance of a vacation idea he can talk to Mona about when he got home.  

It was all he thought about on his commute. New York may have been teeming with gorgeous fall colors, but somewhere warm sounded so nice. And he’d like to not have to worry about waking up early to take the subway or meeting deadlines at work. He needed a break from it all. They both did.

He was just twisting his key into the lock when he remembered that it was Thursday. Mona’s Mimi day, as she liked to say. Her therapy sessions often left her in unpredictable moods. Lately, she’d been having more rough sessions than good ones, and he often came home to find her curled up either on the couch or in bed—whichever she could drag herself to first—her head buried into a pillow and eyes clenched shut.

He usually tried to pick up some flowers or her favorite sweets from the Indian grocery store on her Mimi days, just to cheer her up, but he’d totally forgotten today. A frustrated huff worked out of him as the realization dawned, and he scrubbed a hand over his eyes at how terrible a boyfriend he’d been lately.

After all, the only reason they hadn’t actually gone on a trip yet was because he was too busy at work. Most days, he’d get home late, and even then he’d work until late into the night, unable to find it in himself to unwind and leave his job where it belonged, at the office. By the time he was ready to crawl into bed, it would be midnight and Mona would be fast asleep. He was honestly just lucky that she’d still indulge him with a cuddle, despite being deep into her dreamland.

To his surprise, and relief, when he swung the front door open, he was met with the soft twinkle of Mona’s laughter, his most favorite sound in the universe. She was perched on the couch, cross-legged with a bowl of pistachios on a pillow on her lap, the shells tossed into a smaller bowl beside her. Something on the telly was making her laugh so hard that she reached up to swipe a stray tear from her lashline with her sleeve. The mere sight of her, dressed in his jumper, her hair freshly washed and draping over her shoulders in soft, slightly damp waves, filled him with such a surge of affection that all he wanted was to curl right into her, on the couch, and not have to move for the rest of the night.

“What’re you laughing so hard about?” he asked as he kicked his shoes off and rounded the corner of the couch, stopping behind her to press his lips to the top of her head. She looked up at him, mid-giggle, and he pressed another kiss to her nose too because he couldn’t help it. He loved her like this, big, fluffy hair and flushed cheeks and a huge, wonderful smile that never failed to have his knees go impossibly weak.

“Worst Cooks.” She gestured to the TV, which Niall noticed was, of course, turned to the Food Network. “How have we never watched this show before? I never thought anyone except for Harlow could burn water but there’s a whole world of terrible cooks out there!” Sure enough, just as he looked up, a woman had somehow managed to flip her burger while simultaneously getting it to catch on fire. Mona cackled gleefully at the sight. He couldn’t help but laugh along with her, completely enamored.

After putting away his bag, hopping in the shower, and changing into clean clothes—he didn’t like staying in his dirty work clothes, especially after his subway commute—he felt much more relaxed and ready to curl into the warmth of his wonderful girl, who was still lounging about on the couch, laughing at the kitchen mishaps on the TV.

Taking the bowls of pistachios and shells from her lap and placing it on the coffee table, he stretched out on the couch beside her, head resting comfortably on the pillow on her lap. Her hair was fully dried now, and as she brushed the strands behind her ear, he caught a whiff of peppermint. It was only the beginning of October but she’d whipped out her favorite holiday shampoo anyway. It was his favorite too.

She smiled so sweetly down at him that he had to close his eyes, otherwise he was sure his heart might burst. “How do you feel about pizza for dinner?” she asked, trailing a finger down the bridge of his nose. She was so soft and so warm, her arms wrapped around him, consuming him with that peppermint scent, and Niall wanted her to just hold him like this forever.

“Whatever you want.” He breathed out a laugh when she let out a soft cheer, reaching for her phone to order. It was the second time this week that she’d asked but he didn’t care. She could ask for the stars and he’d find a way to give it to her.

When she was done, she tossed her phone to the other end of the couch, returning her attention to him. The TV was a quiet soundtrack to their evening but Niall felt like he couldn’t even hear it. He was too lost in the way she smiled at him, the way those big brown eyes glittered. It didn’t matter that he was dead tired and worn out; whenever he was all wrapped up in her, everything always fell into place.

Mona skimmed her knuckles over his cheeks, her fingers cool on his warm skin. “Everything okay?” she asked, voice a hushed whisper. When he opened his eyes, her smile was softer now, more subdued. He hummed in answer, nuzzling into the hand caressing his jawline. She simply sighed at him, fingers now gently trailing against the skin below his eyes. “You work too much. You look so tired.”

Her lips pressed kisses to his closed eyelids, the tip of his nose, the hinge of his jaw. Soft and feather light. It filled him with immeasurable joy. “’M fine,” he murmured, even though he knew she could see right through him. It was as though he could feel her eye roll when she scoffed, and he couldn’t help but huff out a laugh. She pressed her cheek to his forehead when she was done with her little butterfly kisses and he sighed contentedly, so comfortable that he could just fall asleep right there. “How was your Mimi day?”

Her fingers were twirling into the hairs at the nape of his neck now. “Fine. We talked about love languages, which I hadn’t heard of before.” She started to shift away from him but he stopped her with a quick tug on her wrists. It was too comfortable; he didn’t want her to move. “I was trying to figure out what yours might be but I couldn’t. Do you know what it is?”

Niall smiled because he did know. He had always known. It was her, spending time with her, lounging around like this or going out on dates or cooking a meal or curling into one another in bed. Anything with her. Everything with her. They could be doing absolutely nothing, just sitting there listening to each other breathe, and it was just enough for him. Simply being by her side made him happy. Nothing else could compare. “I think if would satisfy you more if you figured it out yourself.”

Mona sighed, pursing her lips against his forehead. “I think you’re right.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. He relished in the warmth of her as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. He could have fallen asleep like that, just lying in her lap, taking her in. Then he remembered. “Hey, Mo?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s go to Hawaii.”

She sat up then, brows raised at him. “Hawaii?”

He grinned up at her. Just talking about it made him excited. Beaches and beers and tropical sights and Mona. It sounded like a damn great time to him. “We need a vacation. We keep talking about it but never actually go anywhere. What are we waiting for?”

She was grinning too, a laugh bubbling out of her. “Well, when do you want to go?”

He shrugged. “Soon, please.”

And so, the rest of the night was spent with pizza, some wine, and their laptops, sending in their vacation requests to their jobs as well as booking everything they needed, like flights and a hotel.

All Niall could think of was one thing: Hawaii, here we come.

~ “I told you to wear sunscreen.”

Niall huffed at this. He was currently slumped against the pillows of the biggest bed he’d ever seen in his life, watching as Mona got ready for their dinner plans tonight. She was fussing with her hair while simultaneously scolding him about his bad skincare habits. It wasn’t his fault, really. After all, he wasn’t used to applying sunscreen when it wasn’t the summer months, and how was he to know that their afternoon hike would cause a bad sunburn on his nose? “You’re being mean.”

It took a great deal of effort to hold back a laugh at the way she glared at him. “It’s not my fault you don’t listen.”

This time, a chuckle inadvertently escaped him. She wasn’t wrong after all. “Darlin’.” He crawled off the bed, hands finding her hips and smiling at her reflection in the vanity mirror. She was still trying to decide whether to leave her hair down or pin it up. “You look stunning as always and your hair looks fine. Now can we go get dinner? I’m starving.” This earned him one of her signature eye rolls and a flick to his sunburnt nose. “Ow!”

Mona simply grinned at him, turning around to pull him close and press a light peck to the stinging area. “You’re so annoying.”

“I can’t help it,” he breathed into her skin, all thoughts of dinner suddenly evaporating from his mind as he skimmed his hands down her spine. “You’re so cute.”

“Ugh,” she huffed out, but laughed nonetheless, lightly shoving him away. “Let’s go.”

Niall laced their fingers together as they walked over to the restaurant. He didn’t know why they had never done this before, splurged on an actual vacation, because this was quite possibly the best idea ever. Their flight into the Big Island had been long so they hadn’t done anything on the first night, but yesterday they had gotten a couple’s massage before lazing about in the hot tub, and today they rented a car to drive around before taking an impromptu hike to indulge in picturesque views of the island.

Now, with Mona’s hand in his, the night air warm and inviting around them, palm trees and flower bushes lining the walkway, he felt a bit like he’d fallen in love with her all over again. It was like he was twenty-one again, holed up in a winter cabin with his friends, completely entranced by this girl with dark hair and soulful eyes and a killer sense of humor. Except this time, she actually loved him back.

There was a moment today, when they had hiked up the mountain and were greeted with the mesmerizing views of the entire coastline, she had turned around and laughed, big brown eyes glittering in the sunlight, skin shining with the slight sweat she’d worked up on the climb, and he almost did it. He almost dropped to one knee right there, fingers already reaching for the ring in his pocket. Somehow, the words got a bit lost in his throat though, and it never happened. It was a perfect moment; she pulled him in and pressed the most reverent kiss to his lips, murmured that she loved him before smiling that sweet smile at him.

It was a perfect moment, yes, but something told him it wasn’t the right one.

“It’s so warm here,” Mona mused as they settled at their reserved table. They’d chosen a spot outdoors so they could eat with a view of the ocean. The sky was swirling with the colors of dusk, the sun already nestled beneath the horizon. Mona was smiling at him, pinks and oranges painting the sky behind her, waves crashing into the sand in the distance, and all he wanted was the ability to freeze this moment so he could hold onto it forever. “What if we just packed up and moved to an island? Left everything behind and lived the rest of our lives in…” It took her a moment to find the word she wanted, eyes glazed over as she mulled it over. Niall simply admired her, cheek resting in his hand as he leaned against the table. Her eyes absolutely lit up when it came to her. “Paradise,” she proclaimed dreamily.

Niall grinned, imagining them as island dwellers with their own little home in a tropical oasis. “What about all our friends?”

She shrugged, reaching for some chips on the platter between them. He hadn’t even realized when the waiter had placed it there. “We could write them letters.”

At this, he laughed, leaning back into his chair again. “You’d really just leave everyone behind?”

She tutted like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah, why not. I’d have you.” She was popping another chip into her mouth when her eyes were lighting up again. “Ooh, you know what we can do? We can get a puppy.”

“A puppy?”

“Yeah!” At this point, the chips were halfway finished. She seemed to notice this and offered him some, and he opened his mouth so she’d feed it to him. “We’re not having kids any time soon so in the meantime we can at least get a puppy.”

Niall was about to respond when the waiter arrived, asking if they were ready to order. Once they’d decided on what they wanted, the waiter left and Mona excused herself to the bathroom. As he watched her go, his fingers trailed absentmindedly against his pocket, tracing the outline of the ring inside.

He reached in for it, rolling it in his hands for a moment. For months, he’d been carrying it everywhere. At first, he figured he’d plan something nice; a date night, perhaps, and he’d surprise her with the ring. But the longer he thought about it, the more he realized he had no idea where to pop the question. The ideas were endless: at a picnic in Central Park, at the top of Empire State, at the botanical gardens, or maybe even in their damn living room. So he figured that if he just carried the ring with him everywhere, once the perfect moment arose, he’d be ready.

But every time he thought it was the right time, something happened. They were either being interrupted or there were too many tourists around or the words simply got trapped in his throat. It felt a bit like he was trying to tell her he loved her for the first time all over again.

The ring glinted in the candlelight. Mona’s mom, Raina, had given it to him last year when they visited her in San Francisco. She had waited until Mona had left the room before she pressed the box into his hands. “I was going to give this to Nick,” she had said, “but it feels more right giving it to you. It’s the same one their dad gave to me.” Niall had simply looked down at the box in utter shock. Raina closed his fingers around it and smiled. “Think of it as my blessing to you both. And I know Mona will really love having something of her dad’s.”

Niall thought of that moment every day. He sometimes just sat back with this ring, rolling it between his fingers, and wondered how Raina even considered him worthy enough for this. Perhaps it was why he was having a hard time figuring out the perfect moment. It was too important. This ring meant so much.

He was just sliding it back into his pocket when Mona returned. She smiled, asking how he wanted to spend the day tomorrow, but all Niall could think about now was whether Hawaii was the place to finally ask her to be his wife.

As their food arrived, she mentioned something about snorkeling or deep-sea diving. Niall wasn’t sure. He was too engrossed in how she glowed. The sun had splashed a bit more color onto her skin, and she shined as bright as the moon that was now visible in the darkened sky. She threw out another idea of swimming with dolphins and Niall told her they could do whatever she wanted. He’d follow her anywhere, no questions asked.

She settled on the dolphin idea, happily chattering away about making reservations in the morning and that they could even go to the luau on the beach on their last night. They’d have to do some shopping for their loved ones, of course, but they’d find time to do that somewhere in between.

When they were sufficiently stuffed with great food and even greater desserts, they took the long way back to their villa, hands interlaced as they strolled down the beach, the waves splashing up against their ankles. The ocean was surprisingly warm. With the salt and humidity swirling in the air, Mona’s hair had gone even bigger and fluffier than usual. She was laughing at something he’d said, head tossed back, strands of hair fluttering in the slight breeze, and his fingers instinctively found the outline of the ring in his pocket again.

Her eyes twinkled at him and he stopped himself. Not here, something in him said. It was dark and he had a sudden vision of accidentally dropping the ring into the water. The thought wedged a quick twist of anxiety in his chest and he inadvertently squeezed Mona’s hand.

“You okay?” she asked, brows quirked in amusement. She stopped walking to pull him into her, arms wrapped loosely around his waist. The stars seemingly reflected in her eyes as she smiled softly up at him. He briefly wondered if it was ever possible for this to get old, because they were nearing four years together and every time she looked at him like that he still melted inside. “You’re kinda quiet tonight.”

He dropped his shoes to drape his arms over her shoulders, holding her close. Sand in his toes, salt in his hair, and a whole lot of love in his heart. He was on cloud nine. “Just taking it all in, I suppose.”

She huffed out a laugh that gusted over his skin and he pressed his forehead to hers. They stayed like that for a few moments, taking each other in, swaying gently to the sound of the waves lightly lapping up against the shore. When she spoke again, her voice was a delicate murmur against his lips. “Thank you.”

Niall’s arms tightened around her as he pulled her closer, nose nuzzling against hers. “For what?”

He felt her smile against his skin. It sent a surge of warmth rushing down his spine. “You choose me every day. Even when you don’t have to. Even when you probably shouldn’t.” She held him so tightly it was as though she was attempting to keep him from floating away with the waves. “So, thank you.”

To any other person, this would have sounded nonsensical. But he immediately thought back to their conversation on the couch all those days ago, when she talked about Mimi telling her about love languages. He smiled. “You figured it out, didn’t you?”

A breathy giggle fell from her lips. “Yeah.”

He pulled back to press his hands to her face, the curve of her jaw nestling perfectly into his palms. The tiniest bit of moisture had collected over her lashes and he swiped it away with his thumbs. “Of course I choose you.” Sometimes he held her like this and she looked at him like she couldn’t believe it, like this was all just a dream, and he had to gently remind her that he did indeed love her. More than anything in the world. “You’re the other half of me.”

This seemed to work for now. She smiled softly at him, pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss before grabbing their shoes in the sand and tugging him back to their villa. They’d barely gotten there and he could hardly keep his hands off her, trailing fingers against her sunkissed skin, lips finding her sweet spots, the pulse on her neck, the space between her collarbones.

She’d only just gotten the door closed behind them when his lips finally met hers, kissing her slowly, languidly. They had all night and the rest of the week for themselves. “’M gonna take my time with you tonight,” he murmured into her mouth. She hummed, breath hitching when his fingers gripped her thighs beneath her dress, hoisting her onto the bed.

“Yes, please,” she breathed, blindly undoing the buttons of his shirt as he peppered kisses over the soft skin of her shoulders, making quick work of the zipper at the back of her dress and pushing her straps away.

After all, he didn’t need to be told twice.

~

Mona missed a few strands when she’d pulled her hair up into a messy bun. Niall busied himself with brushing them away to make room for his lips, grinning to himself as her skin rippled with goosebumps at the feather light touch of his fingers, shoulders giving a slight shudder. She sighed quietly as he pressed slow, lazy rows of kisses from the nape of her neck to the edge of her shoulders, his arms wrapped loosely around her middle, holding her close.

She was reclining back against him as they relaxed in the lounger on their private lanai, both of them dressed in nothing but the soft sheets from the bed. The lanai overlooked the ocean and was a perfect spot to watch the sunrise, which Mona had dragged him out of bed for, insistent upon watching the sky transition from dark blue to swashes of reds and yellows. He didn’t mind, really. Not when he could snuggle her close like this.

She gasped softly, gripping his wrist as she jutted her chin towards the horizon. “It’s happening,” she breathed, eyes lighting up brighter than any sunrise. Still, he followed her gaze, the sun just barely peeking over the sea in an arc of deep orange. Mona shifted so she could rest her head on his chest, wrapping both her arms around him, and they silently enjoyed the sight of the sun slowly slinking up the sky, bathing them in a warm golden glow.

When it had gotten too bright to look at anymore, Niall shifted his gaze to his wonderful Mona darling only to find a serene expression on her face, lips quirked up into a soft smile. He ran his fingers down her spine just to feel that sharp intake of breath again. “You thinkin’ about moving to a remote island again?” he teased.

A giggle bubbled through her lips. “No.” She looked up, head resting on his shoulder, and he held her close. “I was thinking about that time we went to Vegas. After Deepa’s wedding. And,” she started to laugh, “Harlow schemed her way into getting us that honeymoon suite.”

Niall laughed at this too, remembering. It seemed like yesterday, even though it was a few years ago. “That was a fun weekend. Even if we weren’t really together yet.”

She hummed, fingers tracing abstract shapes into his side. “I already knew how I felt about you though.”

This surprised him. “Really?”

Her smile grew. “Mhmm.”

“Huh.” He quirked a brow, looking off into the horizon for a moment, processing this. He had always thought she didn’t see herself with him romantically back then. “So, when did you actually realize?”

She shrugged, a hand finding his, pressing them together. They both had long, nimble fingers, but her hands were smaller. Niall liked how they slotted together with ease. “The cabin. You kissed me under the mistletoe and then you dragged me up that stupid hill in the cold.” They shared a laugh. Mona’s eyes had glazed over in memory, voice soft and reverent. “You made hot chocolate with whiskey in it. It was a full moon and the stars were out and you said we don’t get that kind of view in the city. And you smiled. And it hit me that I’d been in love with you that whole time and I never even realized it until then.”

Niall laughed in a bit of disbelief, mostly because he remembered the moment well. She was laughing at something he said until a sort of struck expression came over her and she swore under her breath. If he had known then what it all meant then he’d have told her how he felt right there. It didn’t matter much now considering she was currently in his arms, but perhaps they could have been together sooner.

“When did you know?” she asked.

Niall smiled wryly at her. “The cabin.” She tutted and he realized she didn’t know what he meant. “The first time at the cabin.”

She stilled for a moment, seemingly turning his words over in her head. It was as though he could feel the gears working. Then, she sat up abruptly, looking at him in shock. “Shut up. There’s no way.”

He grinned, highly amused by this. He loved her the whole time and she never even knew. “It’s true, darlin’.”

This earned him a scoff and a frown. “Nuh uh. You’re lying.”

“I’m not!” he got out through a laugh.

A deep breath worked through her as she thought this over, deflating slightly. “I never knew,” she mused, clearly still in shock.

“Yeah,” he said, shaking his head, “you were always kind of oblivious.” Then he thought of the fact that he’d been carrying around a damn engagement ring for a whole year and she was none the wiser. “You still are, to be honest.”

She swatted a hand against his chest, a stunned sort of giggle escaping her. “Shut up.” Still, it wasn’t long until she was curling into him again, pressing her cheek to his shoulder with a sigh. “All that time…you never said anything.”

The breeze was beginning to pick up. It swirled around them, their little sanctuary of love, and flicked her stray hairs into her face. He brushed the strands back into the knot on her head, pressing a gentle touch of his lips to her nose. “Darlin’. You would have freaked out if I told you before you were ready.”

She pursed her lips, rolling her eyes at this assessment of her. “I hate that you’re right.” Their laughter trickled into the air, echoing slightly around them. Mona shifted until she was straddling his lap, her arms draped over his shoulders as her lips turned up into that beautiful smile. Niall leaned back to catch the full view of it. “Doesn’t matter,” she murmured, tracing a finger over his eyebrows before delicately smoothing back his hair. “I think we turned out alright.”

He felt a surge in his chest then. This was it, a perfect moment. She was all wrapped up in him, soft and warm, messy hair and no makeup. Her cheeks were flushed slightly, from the sun and the fact that she couldn’t stop laughing. He was so enraptured by his love for her, laying back and taking her in. He could ask her right now.

But, for once, he didn’t have the ring on him. It was still in the pocket of his jeans, folded over the top of his suitcase, and to go get it he’d have to let go of her; he’d have to break the moment.

So he didn’t ask. Not now. Not yet. He wanted to hold onto her for the rest of the morning, wanted to savor that smile and the soft kisses she was currently pressing to every inch of skin she could find.

It didn’t matter. They had all the time in the world. And besides, she’d given him an idea. Another perfect moment. He’d just have to wait for it to come around.

For now, he pulled her face towards his and kissed her with his whole heart. She was here. She was his. The beach beyond was calling their names.

He was happy and nothing else mattered.  

--

thanks for reading! here’s some bonus instagram content: 

[alipeeps]

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!

[sabreean]

One word for you...

Where I have not gone plastic-free:

Bread box: There are no plastic-free, airtight bread boxes that I’ve been able to find and I *must have* airtight. I make my own bread in a bread machine just because I like to, and the first few loaves I made here on the humid island grew mold within three days because my old bread box was not airtight. Bread bags are more eco-friendly but aren’t airtight, and will hold the humidity. I could find no silicon boxes and also could not find silicone containers/bags that I could be sure would be big enough to hold a loaf of bread and still close completely. I’m considering a giant silicone bag I found online, for marinating meat, so if I get that I can see if a loaf will fit inside. But I haven’t pulled the trigger on that yet, buying something just to marinate meat doesn’t fall neatly into the “I really need it now” category. So I purchased a BPA-free plastic, airtight box and it seems to be working very well. It’s so airtight that I was able to store bananas in it as well and there has been no sign of fruit flies.

Suncare: I spent two days working on the porch. I was under a roof in shade the entire time but I sunburn if I stand next to a toaster, so at the end of the second day I looked like Roy Neary in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”. As in the right half of my face was bright red. I wasn’t wearing sunscreen because it breaks me out. All of it. Every single sunscreen ever. They all break out my face, neck and chest within 20 minutes of application. So I did some research and learned about mineral sunscreens versus chemical sunscreens and after reading a lot of recommendations and reviews, I ordered Alba Botanica Sensitive Mineral Sunscreen. Yes the tube is plastic, but there’s probably no avoiding that. The sport cream is 45 SPF, waterproof for up to 80 minutes, vegan, free of all the chemicals that turn my face into a Marscape, biodegradable and - get this - reef safe. That’s a “gee how nice” for most people but now that I’m swimming around coral reefs, shit got real. They also make a spray-on but it’s not legal to ship aerosol cans to Hawaii, something about them exploding under pressure blah-bibby-blah. Pretty bummed about that. For those wondering, until now I’ve worn a sun visor whenever I’m outdoors but it didn’t occur to me to wear it on a covered porch. I’m sure it didn’t occur to Roy on a dark deserted highway in the middle of an Indiana night, either. LATER UPDATE: Native makes a mineral sunscreen and I thought it wasn't water resistant, but it turns out that it is, although I should not have had to dig so deep into their website to find this out. Better than getting anal probed, all things considered. The Alba sunscreen is very thick and hard to squeeze out of the tube, and you can feel it on your skin at first but you forget pretty quickly. It is completely unscented. You have to make sure to rub it in well if you don’t want to look a little weird. It showers off clean and easy and after a few days with it, not a single blemish! Our pharmacy sells some water resistant mineral sunscreens. I didn’t price them the last time I was there to compare with online ordering and they are probably reef-safe because as of January 1 of this year, suncreeens containing oxybenzone and octinoxate are banned in Hawaii to protect the reefs. But my next purchase will be Little Hands because it is made right here in Hawaii. I have been a big believer in ‘buy local’ for many years and they are plastic-free.

Groceries: Groceries haven’t changed. I’ve been using cloth shopping and produce bags for many years, they just bloody well work better. I do buy some foods in plastic, often there just isn’t any alternative. This was true even on the mainland. The main change is that now I walk to the store more often than not. I was able to walk to almost everything I needed when I lived in Austin’s SoCo in the early aughts and I loved it, I am so so happy to be able to do that again. Knowing I’m just a pleasant stroll away also means that I only buy what I need in the immediate future. There are a few exceptions for items that sell out very soon after the weekly supply barge comes, and don’t always get restocked even then. I drive when I have to buy heavy or awkward to carry things, like a case of soda. I’ve found conflicts with grocery choices because of a weird contradiction: non-hippie products in cardboard/paper packaging versus hippie products in plastic. I first noticed this when I went to buy sugar the other day - do I get the organic non bleached sugar in the plastic bag, or the nonorganic bleached sugar in the plastic bag? It wasn’t much of a conflict in any real world sense, just something that grabbed my attention. (I went with the plastic by the way, for the organic foodstuff that was going to go into my body).

Probably the clothesline, I have no idea what the hell that thing is made of, most likely nylon. We don’t use it for everything because it’s too humid here to dry everything in a reasonable amount of time. But we use it for some things - especially towels and swim wear - and I’m glad that we have it and it saves money on electricity. Our electricity generation here on the island is likely solar but still, no need to be greedy about it. Lots of people here have clotheslines, they are a common sight I am glad to see.

Bandages: I use Wellys. Patch bamboo bandages sound great, but I am clumsy AF and so I need bandages that are going to stay on through wet and dry and everything else. Wellys are flexible fabric, latex-free bandages made in the USA, in reusable tins that you can buy refills for if you don’t want a new tin, and that create a seal around all four edges. They are a certified B Corp so even with a bit of plastic, the company is still in line with my ethics.

Makeup: I use mostly mineral makeup, because it lasts longer (no organic ingredients to breed bacteria) and many mineral brands offer smaller quantities that are more sensible for people who don’t wear it everyday, or at least don’t wear the same colors every day. On the mainland I went weeks without wearing makeup and here I’ll probably go for months, it’s just such a casual place. I might wear some when we go across to Maui for a long weekend. But there are a lot of all natural and plastic-free makeup options out there these days, I am glad to see. If I need to replace anything I will shop with them but it’s just stupid and wasteful to toss everything out and buy new. One thing I won’t compromise on is mascara, I use Thrive because it really does what it claims, and it is still a company that aligns with my ethics. Many zero-waste brands sell cake mascara and that’s a complete nope for me. I tried cake mascara in high school, when I was going through my Audrey Hepburn/Sophia Loren makeup phase and I really didn’t like it. I also tried cake eyeliner and must confess that this elder goth never ever got the hang of liquid eyeliner, Icarus winged better than I can. I gave up a long time ago, pencil me in baby. Also, I wear lipstick, the paint-on stuff that stays on through food, drink, sex and a nuclear blast. IMO, lip balms are a waste of money and do not count as ‘makeup’, unless you’re only intention is to prevent chapped lips and with a small amount of color that lasts few minutes at a time.

Hair brush: I need a new hair brush that is designed for my long fine mane because my hair is getting a lot of punishment here, between wind and swimming and so more frequent washing and lots of pulling and tugging into braids. I bounced back and forth between Ibiza (boar bristles, wood handle) and Mason Pearson (boar bristles, plastic handle), for about half an hour. I finally decided to bite the big one and invest in the Mason Pearson. It is universally reputed as the best hair brush to be had on planet Earth. The was company founded in London by a Yorkshireman named Mason Pearson (bet you didn’t see that coming) in 1885. The boar bristles are either shed bristles collected from the wild in India and China or sourced from the meat industry as they are a by-product of processing farmed boar; you may ask so I will answer and yes, I do eat boar. Mason Pearson is still owned and run by the Pearson family and the Pearson women have always played integral roles in the company. Indeed Mary Pearson was the CEO for the 20 years following the death of her husband, founder Mason, and one of their daughters ran the top floor of the factory on Old Ford Road in London for 50 years. You can purchase a brush with a handcrafted made-to-order wood handle but while I am willing to make the investment in a Mason Pearson brush, I just can’t bring myself to be so self-indulgent as to even send a price inquiry for the wood model. This is where my best friend reminds me of the lengths I went to and the price I paid to obtain a bottle of the finest Irish whiskey in the world to demonstrate that yes, I can be that self-indulgent without much convincing. I just can’t bring myself to do it with a hair brush. I purchased from Pasteur Pharmacy in NYC because they made their bones, if you will, in their early years in the 60s by catering to humans with dogs.

Bed blanket: I just couldn’t bring myself to buy a bamboo blanket/bedspread that costs in the $275 neighborhood when the dogs will be spending at least as much time on it as we will spend under it. So we went with half cotton/half bamboo for a much more reasonable price. The temps here are warm by the thermometer but the air is heavy with humidity (100% yesterday and that doesn’t necessarily mean rain), so when the fans blow it around it can be pretty damn chilly. And the dogs steal the covers.

Clothing: if I need new clothing I will consider bamboo but it’s damned expensive. I was shopping for a second bathing suit recently because I’m at the beach often enough that I need a suit to wear while the other one is drying or waiting to be laundered free of all the salt and sand that didn’t wind up in my ass or under my tits. I always thought that sand-in-uncomfortable-places was a joke, I was very wrong. I spent two hours searching for bamboo or other plant-based sustainable fabric or recycled fabric and found nothing under a hundred bucks. Nothing. Not even a thong bikini (I already have sand up my ass, I don’t need material there as well). I’m not lounging instagrammatically on Waikiki, I’m swimming in 5+ foot surf every weekend at least, so I am not willing to pay that much for a suit intended for plenty of use and punishment. I got a bikini because it will be easier to discreetly rinse most of the sand away before going back up the beach, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

[poptod]

hey there! hope i’m not bothering u. maybe a snafu x reader after the war where he tries to impress them at a bar with war stories but y/n was an air force pilot and it turns into a debate of who was more badass during the war? sweet at the end maybe? i’m addicted to ur writing lmao. thanks again for always answering my requests!

notes: not a problem at all :) unfortunately the power has been out at my house for a day or two so this is a tad late, but youve got fun ideas so i dont mind writing them at all. hope you like this one too

It had to be past midnight – somehow despite that fact, you were still wide awake. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn't taken your sleeping pills, or the pounding loud shouts of the bar's drunken patrons, but you did not lag behind your friend. She'd dragged you there, saying something about getting free drinks since she was banging the bartender. Before either of you knew it, she was off flirting with another man (which the bartender did not like), and you were ordering your third drink. Not the most you'd drunk in one night, not even close, but it was enough to give you a pleasant buzz, allowing you to relax against the bar counter and look out across the crowd.

Within the next several hours most of the crowd had filed out, making way for a new wave of soldiers, ones that had just arrived home and were celebrating their life still belonging to themselves. You were once part of that menagerie; the only difference was you had become a marine before the war ever started, and while you were there for the beginnings of the war, your contract with the marine corps ended soon after. It left you feeling apart from both citizens and soldiers – someone who didn't know the horrors of war, but who was traumatized enough that society didn't care to love them anymore.

Unlike many returning soldiers, you did not turn to alcohol to fix your issues. For the most part you distracted yourself with work, working and working till there was nothing in your head but work – there was little else in your life besides work now, the one exception being your friend, Penny. She made sure you ate, made sure you got outside and had human contact. For that you will always be grateful.

Your attention wavers from her only when one of the returning soldiers stands right beside you at the bar, ordering a bottle of beer before noticing you, his posture suddenly changing as he does so. His back straightens out a little, his hips a little more forward, elbows on the bar behind him so as to show off toned forearms and a skinny waist. He stares for a little while – you pay him no mind. When he gets his drink, that's when he actually speaks to you.

"What's a doll like you doin' here?" He says, and you almost roll your eyes. What a typical start.

"Keepin' a friend company," you answer him quietly, taking a swig of your own drink. It's not entirely a lie, although you feel you're keeping less and less of her company the more she drifts off to the side, caught up in the stare of a rather handsome man with a fair amount of scruff.

"Really? You come here often? I'm - jus' curious. I've never been here before," he says, clarifying that he isn't that stupid so as to use that specific line, a clarification you appreciate.

"This is my first time. My friend though, she comes here often, says she likes the atmosphere," you tell him, nodding in the direction of Penny, who is currently in a corner with the stranger. "You're a soldier, right?"

"Yessir," he says with a proud nod, "just returnin', actually."

You nod absently, looking out across the general crowd before you at last meet his eye. In the neon red lights you can barely see him, the shape of his face against the black mass of people, the color of his eyes against long eyelashes that flutter when he scans you up and down. All you can tell about him is his voice – rough and deep, drawling his words and humming his thoughts.

"You meet many marines?" He asks, and you can already tell he's gearing up to tell you some horrid stories of the war. Unfortunately, you don't know him well enough yet to know if he's going to tell you the truth, and a small part of you hopes he doesn't tell the truth. The truth is gorey and dangerous and heartbreaking, and you're not ready to live out such memories and tales again. Not yet.

"I've met a few," you say vaguely, watching the way a grin cracks across his face as he chuckles smooth and low.

"All I gotta say is you're lucky I ain't no army kid, those assholes are weak as all hell," he says, something you fully agree with, and something that has a sweet giggle coming involuntarily out of you. He smiles even bigger when he watches the way you laugh.

"My father was a marine," you say, coming down from your high. "He said the same thing."

"He's right, y' know... me n' my troop, we was out on that godforsaken island in the Pacific, hot as hell every day – humid, too. We saw hell n' back, shootin' at Japs n' gettin' shot at, sitting in all those damn trenches, up to ya knees in mud, and there go the fuckin' army soldiers, prancing around like goddamn deer. Funniest shit I ever seen, though to be fair, I don't think any a' us had much to eat that day," he recalls fondly, but you can tell he's suppressing the worse memories. You don't ask on that – it'd be rude, and it's not a subject you want to talk about. Nonetheless, he continues. "An you know, you're sittin' in mud all day n' night, you're gonna get pretty dirty, right?"

You nod attentively. If there's one thing you're still good at after your time in the marine corps, it's listening well.

"So we're all covered in mud, and they come by in a neat row, with their freshly washed hair and white as all hell skin – I made a bet with this one fella, Burgie, a' said they'd get so sunburnt after a week on that island, they'd be cryin'. I was right, of course," he says, motioning with his hands as he told the story. At the end he rubs his nose and turns back to you, watching for your reaction, and loving the way you still manage to enjoy his story.

"So you're tellin' war stories now?" You ask, leaning in closer and smirking imperceptibly when his breath catches in his throat. "What's your best story, then?"

He doesn't skip a beat, another one of those sweetly impure smiles coming across him as he starts.

"Hell, there's a lot to choose from. I do remember though," his hand comes up to his shirt collar, unconsciously toying with it, "this one Jap snuck into our camp, still don't know how, but he was one a' those damn kamikaze soldiers, the radical ones. He shouted somethin', don't remember what, but everyone went for their guns – I did too, an' we all pointed at his chest, cause it's easier to aim that way, y'know? But the bombs were tied to his chest, so a' aimed at the head. Shot him dead center between his eyes," he tells you with an air of pride and a hint of disgust. You don't blame him.

"That's a good story," you say with a small smile.

Anticipation creeps up on you as you wait till he's done prattling off little details, just waiting till you can watch the light die in his eyes as you tell him your own war story.

"I think my best marine story would have to be when I was flyin' over this active war field, there's fighter pilots everywhere in the sky, and sometimes it's hard to tell which jet belongs to which side in the moment. Everythin' goes by fast, but I saw this Jap flagged plane drop a bomb the size of a whole person. Immediate reaction was to shoot at the bomb, and I got pretty lucky – it blew up midair, and I was far enough it didn't hurt me," you say, unable to stop a grin from coming to you when the man slowly realizes that he's talking to another marine.

"Oh, you're a marine too, ain't you?" He says, but it's not a question – no, it sounds more like a challenge, and one you're completely willing to participate in. "Where you stationed?"

"I was in Hawaii at first," you say quietly, and he immediately gets the implication. Although you both now know what you saw, and the topic is in your heads, neither of you explore that further. "Later got stationed at some place in the Pacific. Like you. Though, I was on the ocean, not an island."

"What's your kill count?" He asks, and he leans forward just a little bit, drawing closer to you.

"Does it really matter?" You ask in return.

"'Course it does. You gonna be out here tellin' me you didn't count?"

"I didn't," you say truthfully. "A bit hard to see how many y' kill from a thousand feet in the air."

"Y'ever do parachute drops?"

"Once," you say. "Did you?"

"Nah, parachute drops ain't nothin' compared to the shit I did," he says, dismissing the notion as if it wasn't important. Now he's trying to impress you – again.

"Really?" You ask, almost sarcastic, but you manage to hold that part back. "What is it that you did then that was so much more terrifying and dangerous than freefalling through the atmosphere?"

"Try carryin' mortars on ya back in searing heat, n' all the while you n' ya company's out takin' a little hike 'cross a whole island filled with Japs," he says cockily, angling his chin upwards in a motion that accentuates his already sharp-as-hell jawline.

"Wow, a whole island," you say sarcastically, but he sees the humor behind it.

"Hey, Japan's an island too an' they big enough that they got the whole nation in uproar," he points out.

"Whatever makes you feel better," you say, taking a sip of your drink.

"What's your rank anyway?" He asks as he puts his drink on the counter, crossing his arms.

"I'm a major," you say, and once again the light dies in his eyes. You almost want to spare him the embarrassment of telling you his own rank, but you are curious, and it's just too fun to let him off. "What's your rank?"

"... corporal," he answers quietly, and you have to hold back a laugh. You try really hard, you really do, just so hard not to laugh, but you end up snorting anyway, and you can't even begin to work on your smile.

"Alright, corporal," you say, still trying not to laugh. Placing your own drink down on one of the bar coasters you turn to him, curling his loose tie around one of your hands and pulling him forward, practically devouring his nervous delight. "Y' really wanna play this game?"

"I'm the one who started it, ain't I?" He says, and you admire his tenacity to talk back to a superior officer.

"What's your full name and title, Corporal?"

"Corporal Merriel Shelton," he answers softly, his eyes suddenly stuck on the words that form on your blushing lips. "Ma' friends jus' call me Snafu, though."

"Mmm," you hum, looking him up and down much like he'd done to you earlier, "the hell you do to earn that kind a' name?"

"Oh, I'm just reckless, baby," he says with a smirk, gaining the confidence needed to lean into your touch more. You can feel his hips almost pressed against yours, the feeling doing nothing but making you pull his tie even more, a smile beginning to tug at the edges of your lips.

"Mind showin' me?"

"Not at all," he says in the impossibly low voice of his, and with that you're his, if only for the evening.

[lovemesomesurveys]

“how the hell does a broken heart learn to mend itself?”

Would you ever like to own your own gym? No.

Do you listen to Christina Perri? If so, do you like her music? Jar of Hearts and A Thousand Years are a few of my favorites of hers. Oh, and Human. <<< Yeah, I liked those as well. I think those are the only ones I’m familiar with of hers. I haven’t listened to her music in a long time.

When was the last time you went to Wal-Mart? Back in March before the quarantine/lockdown and shit really hit the fan.

Which is worse: Runny nose or stuffy nose? Both are very annoying, but feeling like you can’t breathe is definitely the worst. 

Do you hate how people are quick to judge? i think we all have that tendency, some more than others. It can be an issue when you let that judgment form your whole opinion about a person without even knowing them. Except in extreme cases of course when it a quick judgment could be useful, like if you’re feeling uncomfortable or someone appears to be sketchy. 

Has anyone ever made you feel small? Yes.

Would you rather give your food to a homeless shelter or money to charity? Food to a homeless shelter would be more direct and immediate. When you donate money to a charity you don’t really know when or how it gets used, exactly. And it can take time to be sorted out and distributed. That being said, of course donating to charities is good and important and will help in the long run. I’m just saying, donating food to a homeless shelter would be something they could use immediately and benefit them directly. Does any of this make sense?

Can you tell when your best friend is lying? I think I’m typically pretty good at that.

Would you pay extra money for make up just to make you look prettier? Ha, all the makeup in the world didn’t make a difference for me. Still ugly. I stopped even bothering with it.

Do you like to look at license plates to see where people are from? I don’t pay much attention to that.

Are you more hungry or tired right now? I’m both. My sleep schedule continues to be weird. I fell asleep around 230AM until about 4AM and then fell asleep again shortly after that until like 7:45AM. Now it’s 8:46AM and here I am. Like wtf? And lately I’ve been having a bit more of an appetite, so I’ve been feeling hungrier earlier than usual and actually eating more than just dinner and my late bowl of ramen. My body is such a mess.

Do you follow your head or heart more? It’s a battle.

On a scale 1-10 how much do you like my surveys? I’m assuming the same person has made the last few I’ve done with this same kind of format, in which case they’ve been fine. 

Do you think you deserve more than what you have? I don’t think I deserve anything. 

Would you ever spend $2,000 on a dress? I can’t imagine ever spending that much on a dress. I don’t plan on getting married, but even if I did I’d find something a lot less expensive. 

“Reach out to you, touch my hand”

Have you ever made fresh dough? No.

When you were little, did you used to make cookies with your mom? Yeah.

Has anyone ever said "Say it, don't spray it" to you? lol yeah, when I was a kid.

What is your least favorite type of person? Arrogant, cocky, close minded people.

True or False : Superman is your favorite super hero. False.

Have you ever drank Silk milk? Yeah. Well, I don’t drink it directly (or any kind of milk for that matter, ew), but I use soy in coffee drinks, cereal, or to dunk cookies or brownies or something. I tend to use vanilla almond milk more often, though.

What color is your camera? I use the camera on my phone, which is a coral iPhone XR.

When you create a survey, do you usually make the title lyrics? I don’t create surveys.

Do you play Cityville, Farmville or Frontierville on Facebook? Nope. Never got into any of those.

Do you tend to complain when its to hot out? Ugh, yes. I’m miserable when it’s hot and everyone knows it lol.

Flip flops or tennis shoes? Tennis shoes. I never wear flip flops or any kind of sandal or open toed shoe.

Do you like your fingernails long or short? They’re always barely there cause I’ve had this horrible habit all my life. Well, with the exception of the very few times I managed to stop and let them grow a decent length. Never lasted long, though.

Have you made anyone laugh today? I haven’t interacted with anyone yet today.

Would you like to go to South America? Sure.

Have you ever read Time magazine? I think so.

“Tonight we’re going to dance on the edge of the Hollywood sign”

Do you use the gel, spray or powdered deodorant? I think it’s called a solid.

Do you own a pearl necklace? No. I used to, but it broke. 

Do you know anyone named Julie? No.

What's your favorite candle scent? I love the autumn scented ones.

Does anyone you know own a motorcycle? Yes.

How many different languages can you say “hello” in? Just a few. I don’t feel like thinking about how many different ones right now.

Do you like Train’s music? Yeah. 

Have you ever accidentally clicked on an ad on the side of your screen? Yeah, back in the day when ads were annoying and popped up all the time. I haven’t had that issue in years.

Do you like dark or light pop/soda better? My favorite sodas are Coke and Dr. Pepper, which happen to be dark.

Have you ever been told you were a good dance? No.

Do you own one of those small, battery powered fans? I do.

When you sleep, do you like it complete silence or do you like sound? I need some sound and light, hence why I sleep with the TV on. I have it completely quiet or dark.

Was it cloudy today or clear sky? It’s supposed to be clear skies. Do you like the show Seinfiled or Friends? I never got into either one.

Would you rather have bad breath or body odor? Ew.

“I’m gonna sleep in my Snuggie tonight.”

Have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon? Noooo. I never would.

Do you hate it when people get obsessed with their boyfriend/girlfriend? I had friends who obsessively talked about their significant others and it did get quite annoying, not gonna lie.

Have you ever been to Nevada? Yes.

Are you dating the boy/girl of your dreams? I’m single.

Do you watch Glee? No, I never got into it.

Do you like coffee? I love coffee. Duh.

Do you like applesauce? Yeah. Wow, I don’t recall the last time I had any, though.

When was the last time you had a nightmare? It’s been awhile, thankfully.

Have you ever had a manicure? Once. It was for my 8th grade promotion.

Do you like graphic tees? Ha, my whole wardrobe is graphic tees. And leggings.

Are you the type of person who is always yelling? Not at all.

Do you like Willow or Jaden Smith better? I don’t have any feelings about either one.

Is anything making you mad right now? No.

Name one thing you've NEVER done but want to: Go to Hawaii.

Ever seen the movie Shark Tale? I know of it, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.

“No matter what, I’ll never stop loving you”

Do you like Italian food? I love it.

Which would you rather have: drama or no friends? I have no friends now and I’m honestly okay with it.

Do you own a black necklace? No.

Would you rather have white & crooked teeth or straight teeth that are yellow? How ‘bout straight and white teeth.

How many notifications do you have on Facebook right now? Zero.

Do you smile or laugh more? Uhh I don’t know.

Have you ever tried Nutella? Yes, and I don’t like it. <<< Saaame. I don’t get the hype.

What age did you stop watching Spongebob? I was never really into it, I just caught some episodes because my younger brother loved it as a kid.

Have you ever seen the show Boy Meets World? Yeah, I’ve seen the entire series numerous times. It’ll always be a favorite.

Have you received bad news within the past week? No. 

What's your favorite color of highlighter? Yellow or orange is fine.

Do you celebrate the 4th of July? I mean, we go outside to my front yard and watch fireworks lol that’s about it.

Are you better at Math or Social Studies? Social studies. Math and I were always enemies.

Do you like the name Lindsey? Sure.

Do you have a teacher that your close to? Not anymore, but yeah I had a couple.

“We’ll go down just like Titanic”

When you eat, do you always use a napkin? Yes.

On a scale 1-10 how much do you like hot dogs? It’s one of those weird things that I have to be in the mood for, which is very, very rare. It’s not something I ever crave. I haven’t even had one in years. Although, a Costco hotdog is pretty delicious.

Have you ever been on a cruise ship? Nope.

Is your phone a flip, sliding or touch? It’s a touch-screen - most phones are nowadays. <<<

Are you okay right now? I don’t feel well.

Do you own a blue dress? No.

When you look at the person you like, does it seem like its only you two? I don’t currently like anyone in that way.

Do you like pizza crust with cheese in it? It’s good, but it’s not something I tend to get.

Do you like copy paper or lined paper better? Lined paper. 

Are you listening to music? Nope.

Have you ever gone swimming in the moonlight? Nope.

Is it AM or PM right now? It’s AM.

Who is your cell phone carrier? Verizon.

Do you hate public speaking? Haaaaaate. So glad I don’t have to do speeches or presentations for school anymore. It never got any easier, it was always super anxiety inducing and dreadful for me.

Have you ever been in a band? No.

“We can go to the alligator sky”

Are you more of a follower or leader? I definitely don’t see myself as a leader.

Would you rather: write a 10 page short story or do public speaking? The 10 page paper. 

Did you eat any type of fruit today? No. It’s been awhile since I’ve had any fruit. :X

Do you enjoy bowling? Nah.

Do you like the smell of rain? Yesss.

Have you ever seen or been in quicksand? No.

Do you want to get married in a church or somewhere else? I don’t want to get married.

Have you ever played hard to get? No. I’m just hard to want.

Do you go to the fair during the summer? No.

Are more mean or nice? I’m not a mean person.

Do you go tanning? I don’t ever “go” tanning, but it happens when I go to the beach. 

Can you speak Spanish? Not fluently, but yes.

Is it hard for your to compliment people? Only because I’m just shy and awkward.

Are you a goodie goodie or a bad person? I was always the goodie-goodie.

Would you rather visit Chicago or New York City? New York City.