#then again i ended up entirely rewriting the first chapter because i needed to change it to make more sense

[codgod]

oh yeah i decided to go with writing out the whole fic and Then publishing like a chapter every couple days or something because i can already tell this is gonna need some heavy editing, especially since i’ve never written any of these characters before and i Assume i’m gonna have a better handle on them by the end so i can go back and fix the beginning lol

[itsmarsss]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU: Chapter 1 - Out [Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz x fem!Reader] (Cobra Kai)

You have been writing these love letters since seventh grade, but what happens when they somehow get sent out?

Warnings: high school (lol i wrote this one when i was in high school but im rewriting it now that im like three years out of it so it feels weird and i feel like it warrants a warning, definitely senior year tho.), hardcore crushing on miguel, mentions of a crush on moon so if ya don’t like women too then idk, uhh mention of smoking weed.

Word Count: 4,060

Your letters were your most prized possessions: yours, and yours only.

You wrote one when you had a crush so intense you felt like you needed to snap out of it or otherwise you’d collapse.

So, you wrote letters to try to find closure. Intricately detailed letters that contained every single unfiltered thought and embarrassing feeling you could find in yourself. Everything you noticed about them, everything you wished you had with them, everything you wanted to say but couldn’t.

It started a long while ago.

You never sent them, of course. That idea was completely off the table. They remained stored inside the little blue box with the white ribbon buried deep in the back of your closet, from where you would occasionally take them just to read them again and reminisce on the thoughts a younger version of you once had about all those different people.

They were all properly sealed, stamped and addressed in pretty cursive letters, but never, ever posted.

They were six in total, addressed to five different people.

The first one ever written had been for Eli, from seventh grade. Adorable little Eli, who was one of the biggest nerds you’d ever seen, always too shy to talk around others, but who would go on excitedly about a tv show or a comic book series he liked for hours around you after getting paired for a project got him to warm up to you.

Adorable little Eli, who trembled like crazy before kissing you in a dumb game of spin the bottle, right before running home crying because some girl thought it would be hilarious to comment on how she wouldn't have let him kiss her with "that mouth" if she were you. You, in turn, couldn't feel more different from that bullshit comment of hers after that messy seventh grade first kiss that lasted barely a couple seconds but fed your crush on him for months on end after.

That letter was followed by a new one, addressed also to him, but the new him this time around, many years later, in your sophomore year- to Hawk, not Eli. However that worked.

To Hawk, who had decided to “flip the script”, as he called it, by changing his entire aesthetic and his whole demeanor, showing up to school on a random day with a blue dyed mohawk and a brand new attitude. You liked it.

Confident Eli seemed happier even though he sometimes acted like a bit of an asshole and, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, he looked really, really hot. He was still Eli, but this Eli wasn’t afraid to flirt with you, which evoked brand new feelings in you.

Therefore, a new letter.

The second letter you ever wrote was addressed to Demetri, from eight grade, who you met around the same time as Eli.

Demetri, who would talk to you about superheroes and binary language and would be so excited about it that you didn’t care to tell him you couldn’t understand a word of what he said.

Demetri, who was so kind as to go to your house to help you with your part on the biology project you were partnered with him in because he knew it was stressing you out, who would offer to tutor you when you told him you were having a hard time with a subject he was good at at school, and who you got closer to when randomly put in many classes together.

The third letter you ever wrote was addressed to Robby Keene, who you became closer to after ditching the homecoming dance in your freshman year to hang out by yourself at the bleachers, despite Sam and Aisha’s protests, only to find out it apparently was Robby Keene’s favorite smoking spot.

Apparently high school dances could be pretty lame, no matter what all high school movies from the 80's had been telling you all your life. You had asked if you were interrupting something when you noticed his presence and he told you it depended on whether you'd be snitching on him or not, and suddenly freshman homecoming didn't suck all that much anymore, because you managed to make friends with the most unlikely acquaintance you could ever have.

Robby, who at fourteen years old got detention for threatening to beat up the kids who made you cry because they kept making fun of you during a presentation, which was about substance abuse, ironically.

The fourth one had been written to Moon, who you used to despise because she used to hang out with Yasmine- who, for the longest time, had loved to pick on you and your friends- especially Eli and Demetri.

But Moon, who turned out to be so sweet after she started doing and saying things for herself as opposed to whatever her friends wanted her to and started hanging out with your friend group.

Moon, who would excitedly invite you to sleep overs and braid your hair as you gossiped about people you barely knew from school, who would do your makeup for you and take you shopping and call you pet names platonically, making you blush furiously and putting you in the verge of short-circuiting by being so casually affectionate now that you’d become friends.

And, lastly, the most recent one had been written to Miguel Diaz, of course.

Miguel, who was your best friend in the whole entire world, ever since he moved to Reseda and you first befriended him at school.

Miguel, who was currently dating Sam, who you’d drifted apart from, but couldn’t for the life of you hold a grudge against.

Yeah, Miguel.

But before he became Sam’s boyfriend, he was your boyfriend. Well… boy-friend. A boy who was a friend. And things were good as they were.

But then things started changing.

Things started changing when Miguel asked Sam out and you realized you didn’t like that. When the first thing he did when he got home was to tell you all about it, and you felt a pit in your stomach as he went on about how well things had gone.

Until you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore and had to face the reality that the reason it all made you feel so awful was that you were jealous.

It was even worse to figure out why: as much as you could try to lie to yourself and pretend you were just jealous that she was spending time with your best friend, you knew you had to face it: it all came down to the simple fact that you were in love with him.

You didn’t know when it happened, or what was the turning point for that, but you were. Utterly and irredeemably.

And, in hindsight, it seemed obvious.

But then they started dating, and they didn’t want you to feel left out, so they would you and Aisha everywhere, which made things so much worse.

And then they broke up, and things got, somehow, even weirder. Now it was all you and Miguel again, and, even after all of that, you still had those stupid feelings for him. But you weren’t a complete bitch, or insensitive. You’d never make a move, you’d just have to live with it.

Which didn’t mean there was nothing you could do about it: you decided to try to put an end to it, your own way.

Hence, how letter number six came to be. Signed, addressed, stamped, sealed and stored in the blue box under all the others.

Maybe after this you’d be able to move on. Maybe after this things would go back to normal. How you craved for things to go back to how they used to be.

It seemed reasonable enough to just wait on your feelings to die out.

But a certain day came when then Eli- well, Eli, who was Hawk now, marched up to you in the middle of your gym class.

“Y/n?” He called your name, and you stopped running your laps, turning around to face him, eyebrows knit together in confusion. What was Hawk doing in your gym class?

You let him approach you. “What’s wrong?”

“Look, I appreciate it but it’s… not gonna happen. Like, you know we’re friends, and you know I'm still like… hung up on Moon, or whatever. Right? I know the power of the Hawk’s pretty irresistible,” he smirked, quickly going back to his stern expression, “but you should cut it out.”

You really had no idea what the hell he could be possibly talking about. “Dude… what?”

“C’mon you don’t have to play dumb, it’s cool that you think my scar makes me look cute or whatever but like. I uh. Don’t have any feelings for you now.” Wait, what did he say about the scar? He kept on. “And like it’s- it’s pretty cool that you liked me before and now too but this would just- this would be weird. You know that, right?”

You just weren't getting it.

And then you saw it: in his hand, signed, addressed and stamped, were two open envelopes with two different names written on them in your best cursive handwriting. Fuck.

“Hey- woah are you alright? You look like you're gonna pass out.”

You felt like you were going to pass out. You couldn’t even form a sentence in the midst of your shock.

And then, Miguel came into your line of sight. Because of course things had to get worse.

“There’s no fucking way,” you muttered, incredulous. He was walking up to you, a red envelope in hand.

The letters got out the letters got out the letters got out.

He looked confused. He obviously, and much understandably, wanted answers. Answers you’d much rather get hot by a bus than giving him.

This could not be your fucking life.

“No, no, no, no, no, oh, my god,” you looked around frantically as he got closer, trying to figure out what to do. Hawk surely thought you were crazy now.

And then Miguel made eye contact with you and he had that fucking look of pity on his face and you panicked. And so you did the first thing that came to your short-circuiting mind, which was possibly the dumbest thing you could have thought to do: apparently all you managed to think of was jumping Hawk, tackling him to the ground and kissing him in the middle of gym for Miguel to see.

How maturer and over him you were! Incredible!

The kiss was over as soon as it happened, and you pulled away as Hawk stared at you with two wide eyes and shock all over his face.

You could sympathize with the guy- getting this as a reaction to your rejection was probably really confusing.

More important things going on, though. You got a glance of Miguel stopping in his tracks at your little theatrics, making you realize it definitely didn’t do anything other than make things more awkward for you.

“Uh. Thanks. Sorry or… whatever. I’ll see you in bio!” You told Hawk, patting his chest before standing up and booking away from him, running past Miguel way too quickly for him to be able to approach you and ignoring his call of your name, and locking yourself in one of the stalls of the closest bathroom you were able to find, trying every single breathing exercise you’ve ever come across to calm yourself down.

This was it. Miguel hated you, surely.

No, worse: he pitied you. Because obviously he didn't feel the same and obviously receiving a love letter so embarrassingly honest from his closest friend was weird. Now your friendship was going to be weird, and it was all you fau-

“Y/n? Are you in there?”

No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening, there was no way.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

Goddamn Robby Keene.

“Oh my god,” you muttered to yourself. Maybe willing him away in your mind would alter reality so he wasn’t there in the bathroom with you.

If only it were that easy.

Resting your head in your hands as you tried to convince yourself this was some sort of nightmare, you heard a noise come from really close to you and opened your eyesto the pink envelope being slid under the stall to you.

“I thought you’d want it back. Seemed pretty personal.”

“Robby, holy shit, I’m so sorry. You do know I wrote this like years ago, right?” He had to have figured that out, didn’t he? You weren’t even close anymore.

“Yeah! Like freshman year right? When we smoked together while everyone was at the dance.” He didn't seem to be mocking you, didn't seem to be angry. Just pointing it out. You sighed and opened the stall door, deciding facing Robby wouldn't be as bad as facing Miguel. You walked out.

“Yeah it was- it was pretty cool. Better than whatever was going down in the dance.”

“Yeah, I taught you how to smoke that day!” He smiled. “Thinking back on it makes me think you shouldn’t have been hanging out with me back then, actually,” he points out.

You could only let out a small laugh. “I guess not.”

“Look, I don’t know why you decided to send this but uh. I feel like I should tell you that Sam and I are like. Together.”

They were? “Oh. Right! Duh. Obviously. I knew that.” You most definitely did not know that. “I don’t know how this got out, really. I never meant for you to actually see this.”

“Look, we can still be friends. You’re pretty cool. Even with… you know…” he motioned vaguely, “the whole Cobra Kai thing”

“Okay! Yeah, definitely.” He was only being polite, because that’s how he is. But this was much better than having him think you were trying to get with him. You let out a nervous laugh. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.”

Jesus fuck.

[. . .]

You looked everywhere. Everywhere. The stupid fucking blue box just wasn't anywhere. You tried asking your mom about it, but her answer was short and simple: It probably went with the Goodwill box you’d made last week.

How, you couldn’t figure out, but it seemed to be the only slightly plausible possibility.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That meant there were five people out there total, five people you still saw every single day, who you were friends with, who had received a fucking love letter with your name signed all pretty on it.

This was hell, it had to be.

You were sure of it when you heard a knock on your front door, accompanied by Miguel’s voice calling your name.

Shit, shit, shit, you were not ready to have this conversation. Why did he have to be your next door neighbor on top of everything? It had always been convenient to live so close to each other, but right now it seemed everything but.

So you did what any sane, responsible person would do: you got out by the kitchen window. Naturally.

Miguel would think you just weren't home.

Again, very mature and totally normal and over it of you.

You decided someone would probably be at the dojo and the last thing you wanted right now was to accidentally encounter someone else who had a letter by surprise. You figured it was too early for someone to be at the diner nearby, so there you went.

You ordered yourself a milkshake and tried to reason with yourself. You couldn't avoid Miguel forever. He’s obviously find a way to talk to you at some point. And then what would you do? Admit you were in love with him even though to him you were just best friends? Let him tell Sam you were in love with her (well, at-the-time) boyfriend? Get politely rejected by him and go around pretending being pitied by him for not being corresponded wasn’t pathetic? It all seemed to come down to terrible endings.

You were so lost in thought you didn't notice him sit beside you at the counter until he spoke up, ordering some fries.

Oh, shit.

Hawk.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him, annoyed.

“Went by your place. Miguel said you weren't there. Things felt preetty awkward I’ll be honest with you. But you weren't at the dojo either so I thought I’d find you here.”

“Okay. And why did you wanna find me, exactly?”

“Look I just wanna make it double clear that nothing’s gonna happen between us. Nada.”

“Eli Moskowitz I am not trying to date you.”

He seemed to cringe at his own given name, but didn’t complain out loud about it. “Then why would you write me a love letter?”

“It was in 7th grade!”

“No, you talk about me as Hawk though.”

“Last year! Right when you did… that,” you motioned vaguely to his mohawk.

“Okay I hear you but like. Your mouth is saying one thing… but then your mouth said… something… else. To my mouth. Directly.”

“What? Ew!”

“You jumped me!”

“I was panicking! And I’m like, actually sorry.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

You let out a sigh, defeated. “Miguel was walking over.”

“And?”

“And he also got one of those,” you motioned with your head at the letter in Hawk’s hand, “and I cannot deal with that right now.”

His expression shifted. “Wait, I’m not the only one who got a letter?”

“No.”

“Huh. You really think you’re special.”

“Are you not, like, surprised about Miguel?”

“Oh, no, it was pretty obvious. But damn you get a love letter and think you’re the man but then you find out she wrote to another guy too?”

“Oh there’s six of them, so don’t go feeling too special.”

“Six of them?”

You then realize you’d spoken too much. He doesn’t need to know all of this. “Nevermind.”

“Damn y/n, fuck yeah, you're a player! Who were they for?”

“No one! It’s none of your business.”

“Come on, I deserve to know! You did kinda jump me in front of a bunch of people.”

“It doesn’t matter!”

“I mean I wouldn't- I wouldn't want people to find out you think my scar looks hot. Or that when you look at me you think about ‘kissing the annoying smirk off my lips’- I mean who knows what guarantees you don’t have a tattoo of my face on your ass-”

That was embarrassing enough. “Okay shut up! Shut up. Fine, if you wanna know so bad. So two for you. Then uh. Demetri, in-”

“You had a crush on Demetri?”

You kept on. “Then Robby Keene, on freshman year.”

“What, do you have a thing for LaRusso’s boyfriends or…?”

“How did you know they were together? I didn’t know!”

He just shrugged, and you continued. “And then there was uh-” you glanced at him and back to your milkshake. “Moon, after she uh. Started dating you, and hanging out with us.”

He let out a snort. “Right.”

“Sorry. I uh- I know she broke up with you-”

“What, are you gonna make a move on her? Is this what you have a thing for, crushing on your friends’ partners?”

“No. And you asked me about it!”

He looked sorry. He didn’t say it. He sighed. “Fine. Is that everyone?”

“With Miguel, yeah, that’s everyone.”

“Okay. I was the only one to get two letters though.”

You rolled your eyes at the comment. Of course he’d make this be about feeding his ego. The two of you finished your food in an awkward silence before he spoke up again. “Did you walk here?”

“Yeah.”

“You want a ride?”

“You don’t have to.”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay.” After paying, you walked outside, getting on his motorbike. He surrendered his only helmet to you.

Holding onto his waist the whole time after all this was definitely weird but you didn’t let yourself think about it too much, instead thinking about a bigger issue: you really, really hoped Miguel wouldn’t be there when you got home. You got to the parking lot, getting off the bike, taking off the blue helmet and handing it back to him. “How do you even put this on with your hair?” You questioned.

He laughed. “I just like. Push it back.”

“But how does it not ruin it?”

He shrugged. “Power of the Hawk.” He smirked, full of himself.

“Oh, come on. I bet you walk around with a little bottle of hair gel so you can fix it when you take it off.”

“Magician never reveals his secrets-” he looked off at something behind you that caught his attention. You furrowed your eyebrows together in confusion, turning around to see what it was.

Miguel. He hadn't noticed your presence yet, but there was no way he wasn’t going to.

What do you do now? You felt paralyzed.

Hawk seemed to think of something before you could. He placed his helmet on the handle of the bike, very obviously making sure to make noise with it to attract attention, and leaned in, pulling you into a kiss. A… rather passionate one.

He pulled away, wordlessly leading you in the direction of your front door. You got the hint, walking to your place without turning around, and unlocking the door. He pushed you in and closed the door behind him with his foot, loudly. You stayed like that, with him leaning on the door and your bodies flushed together, in silence, trying to listen if Miguel was walking towards your door or not. After a couple seconds, you figured he was not, and you pulled away from him.

“Sorry,” he looked at the floor, sheepish. An usual sight for the new him. “First thing that came to mind.”

“Why is jumping each other the first thing that we think of when we panic?” You laughed.

Hawk laughed along, more at ease knowing you weren’t mad at him. “You did it first.”

You sat down on your couch, but he stayed standing. “Sorry to pull you into this. And thank you for helping out just now. Think I’ll just pity myself ‘till I sleep and then die of embarrassment tomorrow when I see him or something. You can go if you want.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll- yeah.” He started walking to the door, but stopped midway, turning around to face you again. “Hey what if-” he tried to find the words to explain his idea- “um- he probably thinks we’re dating right? Or at least hooking up, or something. I mean, after all the kissing… and stuff.”

“Shit. Yeah. I’ll clear things up, sorry-”

“No! What if- what if we let him?”

“What… do you mean?”

“What if we let him think we’re dating? And not just him. Everyone else too.”

“Why would we do that?”

“So he won’t think you're in love with him!”

“I’ll rephrase it then. Why would you do that?”

“I mean you know- you know I’m still really into Moon. Maybe we could make her… want what she can’t get?”

“You think that would work? On Moon?”

He just shrugged. “Maybe.”

“So you’re suggesting we fake-date.”

“I guess.”

“Have you never seen a movie with a fake dating trope? Doesn't end well.”

“What, you think you’ll catch feelings?” He opened his signature grin, and you sighed, annoyed.

“I’m just saying it’s probably gonna blow up on our face eventually.”

“Why? We can just pretend to date for like a couple weeks. And then we break up or whatever.”

“I’m not-” This could not be a good idea. Could it? “Look I’ll- I’ll think about it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

[. . .]

Miguel, Miguel, Miguel. Miguel seemed to be what occupied your thoughts the most. No matter how absurd the amount of drama you were going through was, your thoughts always came back to him.

But the night after the letters got out… it wasn't like that. Eli Moskowitz- well, Hawk, hadn’t been in your head all that much ever since you got over the last crush you had on him a couple years ago. But now Miguel wasn't the only thing in your head anymore, weird of a way as everything else had come into your thoughts.

So you decided.

A/N: in all honesty im only rewriting this because im in a bit of a slum and i almost deleted this off of my ao3 bc of how terribly written the original chapters are lol so idk here’s something someone might like i guess. I won’t be in any rush to post the chapters of this whatsoever, scandalous is 100% my priority this is just for some piece of mind bc I know I’m better than the shitty writing in the original version of this lol

[butterflydm]

restructuring the wheel of time into ten books

So a little while ago, there was a poll about people's favored choice for how many books should have been in WoT -- I voted for 'ten' and this is, I guess, my argument for a ten book series.

Books 1-5, I don’t really have any notes on when it comes to structure. Every book is complete in and of itself. While books 2 & 3 do have something of a repetitive structure, I think that works better in a book series than in a tv series.

The only suggestions that I would have structurally would be minor things like “tweak Rand’s power levels in the early books to keep him more in line with what he does later” (aka what the show is doing, lol) and maybe not having Ishamael present during the Battle of Falme and having that purely against the Seanchan, so that we don’t have super similar climaxes for Rand two books in a row (Rand could get his wound in Tear instead). And those are the sorts of things that I think it might be likely that Jordan would have done if he’d known exactly how long the series would end up being -- ex. he clearly backed down on Rand’s power jump when he realized that the series would be going for longer than he’d originally planned.

One minor plot change that I would do is put Perrin feeling Rand tug at him as the epilogue of TFOH or thereabouts. Just a little hint of Perrin in there, showing that he'll have a bigger role in the next book.

Book 6, though... I have some thoughts there.

Lord of Chaos/A Crown of Swords: this is the first book where the beginning really takes some time getting off the ground -- there are several Salidar chapters that could have been combined. This is really the first place in the books where characters hang around doing nothing (we're told more than once in Elayne & Nynaeve's PoV that they're barely being taught anything and that being there feels pointless), waiting for it to be time to actually Do Some Plot (the big Healing of severing) and it's just the beginning of a bad trend.

The other structural change that I would suggest is not doing the weird feint with Mat's character where he starts off doing a "Rand's general" storyline and then creakily transitions over to Salidar instead. Since Mat isn't actually going to Illian, he doesn't need to be marching south. He could just still be in Cairhien/Caemlyn and have Rand take him to Salidar from there. As it is, we end up spending several chapters on a storyline that gets abruptly terminated part of the way through the book so that Mat can do a completely different storyline instead and that really pads out the pages unnecessarily (this was a really bad trend that happened with Mat's character in particular more than once in the books; his storylines would just stop in their tracks and get shifted to something else entirely and never go back to his original storyline; ex. we literally never find out why/what the murdered caravan of Tuatha'an had to do with anything, because Mat never bothers to tell Rand their message because he spends the entire rest of the book series doing completely unrelated things and only ever sees Rand again for a brief conversation that is dominated by everyone catering to his slaver wife -- we never get payoff for the vast majority of Mat's storylines, even the minor threads). It really does feel like Jordan started writing the book, then went "oh shit, Mat needs to meet & marry the DotNM" and just abruptly changed Mat's story to yeet him to Ebou Dar without actually rewriting the earlier bits in the book.

Outside of that, the main change I would suggest being made in these books is improving Min’s characterization and Min and Rand’s relationship by NOT having Min change herself for Rand. Let Rand fall in love with Min as she is, not the dolled-up version of Min that she invents for Rand’s benefit (there are other characterization tweaks I would recommend as well, but Min is kinda the biggest issue imo).

The main ‘story arc’ for Rand that's set up in LoC is ‘defeating Sammael’ and it should take place over the course of a single book, not two separate books. Parts of ACoS would be saved for the next book but the Illian climax should happen in the same book that the story starts. I would title this book “A Crown of Swords” so that the focus is on Rand’s story, not the Forsakens' (and part of the oddness here is definitely due to Jordan changing his mind about doing the Taim-Demandred combo, so he sets up something that ends up going nowhere).

Inciting incidents:

Egwene is summoned to Salidar leading to Rand sending Mat there as well

Min arrives in Caemlyn, leading to The Box Incident

Turning point:

After the Box incident, Perrin and Rand stage a fight so that Perrin can go find Masema

Egwene sends Elayne, Nynaeve, Mat & co to Ebou Dar to look for the Bowl of the Winds and they actually take advantage of Mat being ta’veren right away instead of waiting around for a month (all the delays in Mat's various storylines had a knock-on effect in delaying everyone else's storylines, imo -- the Slog happens because everyone is waiting on Mat, whether they know it or not)

Climax:

Rand defeats Sammael

The attack of the Seanchan on Ebou Dar begins

A Crown of Swords/The Path of Daggers/Winter’s Heart: The Path of Daggers only needs some of trimming imo. Once that trimming is done, I think Elayne’s section of the prologue of WH could slid into it fairly neatly as a bit of an ‘upbeat’ epilogue, which would be a contrast to the darkness of Rand’s ending in the previous book and his defeat here when he tries to repel the Seanchan from Ebou Dar.

Also have Mat interact with Tuon throughout this book, essentially like he did in WH (Mat's interactions with Tuon in WH make sense with his previous characterization; it's in CoT & KoD when Jordan had him completely reverse on his moral outlook on slavery so that he would be willing to make out with a slaver - genuinely, how Mat goes from sympathizing with slaves in WH to sympathizing with slavers in CoT remains one of the most baffling writing choices that I've ever run across; especially with how limp and one-sided it made everything about Mat & Tuon feel in those books for me, because Jordan drained all the potential interesting conflict out of the pairing so that he could focus on Mat navel-gazing about his self-inflicted prophecy woes, making him just Min 2.0. *sigh*). This book I would choose to be named “The Path of Daggers” out of the available options.

Inciting incidents:

Elayne & Nynaeve use the Bowl of the Winds as Ebou Dar is invaded by the Seanchan and Mat gets left behind during the escape

Perrin & co find Masema, etc.

Egwene uses the rule of law to take control of the Salidar Aes Sedai

Turning point:

Mat first meets Tuon -- maybe give Mat & Tylin’s first meeting to Mat & Tuon instead, where he accidentally greets her using the Old Tongue, thus sparking her interest (cut out Mat & Tylin’s ‘relationship’ entirely, it was zero percent needed and is needed even less if Tuon arrives in the first wave of the attack, as I'm suggesting here)

Rand learns about the invasion by the Seanchan and goes campaigning

Egwene & the Aes Sedai jump to Tar Valon and begin their siege (since they no longer need to kill time to let Mat's plotline happen)

Climax:

Rand fails to defeat the Seanchan & gets attacked in the Sun Palace but kills the attackers here instead of us needing the Far Madding detour (which just felt like a less emotionally-impactful version of The Box to me and Jordan giving in to his desire to write a travelogue)

Faile learns Masema is dealing with the Seanchan and kills him, cutting off that entire path of slog by not getting kidnapped (we really only need one kidnapped wife imo)

Mat escapes Ebou Dar, kidnapping Tuon along the way (there's our allotted Kidnapped Wife)

Egwene is captured by the White Tower Aes Sedai when the rebels block off the harbors to Tar Valon

Winter’s Heart/Crossroads of Twilight/Knife of Dreams: All three of these books would have greatly benefited from being massively cut down to a single volume. This one also has a touch of TGS in it, mostly because Egwene had a lot more story left after KoD than pretty much any other character except maybe Mat.

Specific items to change or cut:

Cut out Far Madding entirely (Rand killed the attackers in Cairhien). Since Tuon arrived with the initial Seanchan invasion fleet in Ebou Dar, Nynaeve can be honest with Rand about Mat being left behind but Rand can see (in his color swirl vision) that Mat is no longer in Ebou Dar and has already escaped, filling that plot hole (the list of contrivances to keep Rand from knowing what happened to Mat frustrated and annoyed me so much when I was reading books WH-KoD).

Have the love confessions and Rand sleeping with Elayne, but don’t do the bonding yet. Have Rand leave Min behind in Caemlyn when he takes Nynaeve off to do the cleansing, so she can (emotionally) bond with Elayne & Aviendha. Since Min was just at ground zero for a terrible attack that was focused on Rand (which should, to Rand, prove his fears about being a danger to the people he loves to be correct!), it really is so bizarre that he keeps backpacking her around to dangerous place (Far Madding) after dangerous place (the Cleansing) after dangerous place (parlay with the Seanchan) and mostly shows that Jordan a) just had no more plot beats for Min until she played pregnancy test for Tuon in the epilogue and b) primarily saw Min as Rand’s Hero Reward rather than a character in her own right. But the whole affair mostly just undermined Rand’s character journey for me (he's so isolated! ...except for his live-in girlfriend).

Don’t do the Shaido plotline at all (have the Shaido scatter back to the Waste post-Dumai’s Wells); instead this should be where Perrin starts his wolf boot camp, so that he actually has a more appropriate amount of time for training before the Last Battle (and his emotional storyline would be a conflict with Faile over her killing Masema). I guess you can do the Whitecloaks storyline here.

Have Mat be the one to make a treaty with the Seanchan, and have Semirhage order the ‘airfleet’ against the White Tower instead of Tuon doing it. Instead of Mat accidentally giving himself away for nothing, have the Mat-Tuon marriage as part of the deal to seal the treaty, since Mat has figured out that she believes that he needs to be her husband, per prophecy, so he uses that to actually get concessions out of her. Because we aren’t trying to convince the readers that Mat is the sort of person who is capable of falling in love with a slaver in the space of a single month, we don’t need to spend two whole books wandering the Altaran countryside doing random shit and instead can get to the politics of it all. Let Mat actually continue to be smart and empathetic in this section of the storyline, rather than lopping off those parts of him and turning him into a zombie bootlicker yes-man. You can still layer in elements of Mat seeing potential in Tuon to be more than just a slaver, just don't have him toss his entire brain & morals away in order to kiss her ass.

Out of the available titles here, I think “Knife of Dreams” is the best one.

Inciting incidents:

Egwene undermines Elaida from within the Tower

Perrin starts Wolf Boot Camp

Rand & Nynaeve cleanse saidin

Turning Point:

Rand faces off against Semirhage and captures her

Egwene finds out from Verin about the extent of the Black Ajah in the White Tower

Aviendha leaves to go to Rhuidean to become a WO

Mat finds out that sul'dam (and thus Tuon) can channel and actually uses it as a negotiation tactic against her, please let this man use his brain during literally any of his conversations with Tuon, I am begging you. The way he reacts in the books to finding out that Tuon is a sul'dam and then that Tuon can channel is SO FUCKING BIZARRE. He just Does Not Care about slavery at all in CoT & KoD and is all Me Me Me about all of the Tuon revelations. In the previous books, Mat claims to be selfish even while constantly doing heroic/selfless things, but in CoT & KoD, he really does just come across as a genuine selfish bastard, someone who only thinks about himself and who doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Climax:

Tuon and Mat agree on the terms of their marriage alliance and Say The Words

Elayne defeats her fellow claimants to the throne; maybe Min helps root out that Darkfriend captain in her guards, which would lend weight to her being able to do the same later for Tuon and also make it so that Min is at least as helpful to Team Light as she was to the Seanchan

The Seanchan (sent by Semirhage before she went to face Rand) attack the White Tower.

The Gathering Storm/Towers of Midnight: ToM has never made any sense as a title, so I would call this combined book “The Gathering Storm”. This section is more about putting things in a somewhat different order than they happened in the books, with a few tweaks.

Inciting Incidents:

Egwene defeats the Seanchan at the White Tower

Semirhage is freed by Elza and captures Rand, and (stealing @markantonys's excellent suggestion) Nynaeve is the one targeted when Semirhage forces Rand to her will, making Rand push Nynaeve away 'for her protection'

Rand and Egwene have a tense encounter that makes her doubt his sanity.

Turning point:

After taking the test to become full Aes Sedai, Nynaeve gets Lan's bond from Myrelle and then, since Myrelle was literally right outside the Black Tower at the time, Nynaeve and Logain deal with the Black Tower

Egwene deals with the assassins in the Tower (Gawyn subplot)

Perrin deals with the dreamspike and kills Slayer | Egwene deals with Mesaana

Aviendha returns from Rhuidean and reunites with Elayne & Min

Climax:

Rand attacks his father, leading to the moment on Dragonmount

post-epiphany, Rand actually goes to check in on his friends and loved ones, thus making his epiphany have an impact on the storyline -- he Travels to where Mat is and is the one who helps Mat get from Point A (Altara) to Point B (Caemlyn) and letting them actually have a real reunion, delivering Aludra to Elayne, where she is ready to make weapons. In Caemlyn, he talks to Elayne, Aviendha, & Min, leading into the bonding moment.

Mat saves Moiraine from the Tower of Ghenjei.

(epilogue) Tuon arrives back in Ebou Dar and takes control of the Seanchan forces, letting everyone know that there is now a treaty with the Westlands. Her going back with a treaty already tentatively in place would actually make the triumphant tone that the books try to take her with her return make a lot more sense than... readers apparently supposed to be happy??? that one slaver is taking over from another slaver, even though Tuon is just as willing to do awful shit to our protagonists as Suroth was, so it feels like a distinction without a difference to me. Technically, is Tuon marginally better than Suroth? Eh, maybe, but not by much.

A Memory of Light: Most of my changes here either follow from earlier ones (we already have a treaty with the Seanchan, so Mat can just go to Merrilor to start General’ing right away), but apart from that:

Let the Emond’s Field Five (plus Elayne) have a group reunion! (easier to do in this version where Mat's storyline isn't all about sucking up to Tuon, I admit)

Let Perrin and Mat be at Rand’s funeral! (genuinely so bizarre that Sanderson didn't do a one-sentence fix of this tbh; that would have been the easiest thing in the world to fix. One sentence is all you would have needed.)

Let Moiraine be the person who realizes that Rand is still alive, not Cadsuane.

The battle itself could have been cut down somewhat in order to leave more room for character interactions (we probably don't need three separate sword duels for Demandred; kinda excessive). This is a goodbye to people some of us spent over a decade loving; we should be given proper goodbyes to them.

I also feel like there's no need to have everyone and their brother know that Rand is in a relationship with three women? And it felt pointless to have people know that Rand is the father of Elayne's kids too. Have Rand tell his dad (and then have Tam actually act like he has that knowledge during his scenes with Elayne; it is genuinely bizarre how formal Tam and Elayne's interactions were in AMoL; she knows that he's Rand's dad! That's the grandfather of her kids!) but there's no need for a continent-wide memo about Rand's love life. I know this was likely all because of the epilogue where the whole world knows about ~the three~ grieving widows but this is all about a theoretical world of only ten books total, so some tweaking of the epilogue is happening regardless.

Inciting incidents:

Moiraine arrives (with Mat) to help heal the rift between Egwene and Rand

Darkfriends attack Caemlyn through the Ways

Climax:

Rand vs The Dark One

Everyone else vs the Shadow’s forces

So, that would leave us with ten books total (plus the New Spring prequel):

The Eye of the World: the journey begins

The Great Hunt: more important plot elements are introduced, like the Seanchan; Rand begins to learn leadership

The Dragon Reborn: Rand accepts being the Dragon Reborn & takes on a full-time leadership role; Mat now has his luck & Perrin has met Faile

The Shadow Rising: Perrin takes on a leadership role when he leads the defense of the Two Rivers

The Fires of Heaven: Mat takes on a leadership role during the Battle of Cairhien, creating the Band of the Red Hand

A Crown of Swords: Egwene takes on a leadership role by becoming Amyrlin Seat of the rebel Aes Sedai

The Path of Daggers: Elayne takes on a leadership role by putting in her claim to become Queen of Andor

Knife of Dreams: Rand & Nynaeve reverse the Dark One’s counterstroke and then Rand tries and fails to make an alliance with the Seanchan (fake!Tuon); Perrin goes to wolf boot camp; Mat makes a treaty with the Seanchan via marriage alliance to the DotNM; Elayne gets all ten Houses she needs to secure the throne; Egwene has all-but won over the White Tower as well.

The Gathering Storm: we all prepare for the Last Battle; Rand has his epiphany, in whatever form it takes; Mat saves Moiraine; Perrin defeats Slayer; Egwene and Elayne prepare their respective areas for TLB.

A Memory of Light: the journey ends (for this age)

I feel like this gives us a more consistent build-up to the ending, with each piece building upon the ones before, and not taking an excessive amount of time with subplots in the endgame. Each character also has a more consistent progression as well.

Rand

tEotW: worries about being a male channeler

TGH: told he is the Dragon Reborn but assumes the White Tower wants to use him as a false Dragon

TDR: goes on a journey to prove whether or not he’s TDR and proves that he is; taking control of Tear

TSR: becomes the Car’a’carn

TFoH: takes control of Cairhien

ACoS: takes control of Illian

TPoD: has his first major failure when he is unable to repel the Seanchan from Ebou Dar

KoD: succeeds in cleansing saidin but fails to make peace with the Seanchan

TGS: has rock-bottom moment and then his epiphany; he learns he doesn’t have to do it All On His Own

AMoL: re-seals TDO

Egwene

tEotW: sets off an adventure

TGH: experiences great trauma at the hands of the Seanchan

TDR: Black Ajah Hunter

TSR: Goes to the Aiel Waste to begin her training

TFoH: One of her mentors (Moiraine) dies

ACoS: is called to take on a leadership position

TPoD: takes control of the rebel Aes Sedai

KoD: besieges Tar Valon and is captured

TGS: become Amrylin of a united White Tower

AMoL: leads in the Last Battle and becomes an inspirational figure

Perrin

tEotW: discovers that he’s a wolfbrother

TGH: is first placed in a leadership position when Rand disappears

TDR: meets Faile

TSR: defends the Two Rivers (Slayer introduced)

TFoH: feels the tug of ta’veren and leaves the Two Rivers again

ACoS: saves Rand

TPoD: finds Masema; Faile kills Masema

KoD: Wolf Boot Camp

TGS: deals with Slayer in the Wolf Dream

AMoL: leads the wolves at the Last Battle (instead of it being Elyas)

Nynaeve

tEotW: sets out to protect the four kiddos

TGH: adopts Elayne as a fifth kiddo

TDR: Black Ajah Hunter

TSR: Tanchico & the SAD bracelets; Egeanin

TFoH: defeating Rahvin & capturing Moghedien

ACoS: Salidar & Ebou Dar

TPoD: using the Bowl of the Winds

KoD: cleansing saidin

TGS: the Black Tower plotline

AMoL: with Rand at the climax of TLB; being the Ultimate Protector

Mat

tEotW: finds the dagger

TGH: blows the Horn of Valere

TDR: discovers his luck

TSR: Rhuidean & prophecy

TFoH: the Battle of Cairhien & the Band of the Red Hand

ACoS: Salidar & Seanchan invasion in Ebou Dar

TPoD: meets & kidnaps the Daughter of the Nine Moons

KoD: forms a marriage alliance with the Daughter of the Nine Moons

TGS: saving Moiraine

AMoL: General of the forces of Light at the Last Battle

Elayne

tEotW: meets Rand, heads off to Tar Valon

TGH: gets a found family in Egwene, Nynaeve, & Min

TDR: Black Ajah Hunter (meets Aviendha)

TSR: Tanchico & the SAD bracelets; Egeanin

TFoH: bonding Birgitte; Circus storyline

ACoS: Salidar & Ebou Dar

TPoD: using the Bowl of the Winds & heading to Andor

KoD: becoming Queen (plot climax)

TGS: bonds Rand (emotional climax)

AMoL: powerful leader during the Last Battle

[misguidedasgardian]

The Lifeaters (IV.III)

III. Three Wizards... and Potter

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: The semester is getting really interested 

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia, classism, charms and curses, might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 3.9 k

Notes: I want this story to make sense, I do, and I stick to the books, like Copy and paste entire scenes, and I realized, this isn’t fanfiction dude, You can make sense of it right now right? so now I’m paraphrasing jajaja, I will try to respect the timeline of course… but… you get it… and besides, the very existence of the reader might be able to change some things right? Now, besides the scene with the UC, the rest… you now. Besides… the last chapter was a bit messy, I won’t rewrite it, but I will be better on this one… 

“So you know”, whispered Draco, “since when?”

“I discovered it during the summer, but nobody told me, I figured it out, found some old photo”, you whispered. You felt his gaze on you, but still you didn’t look back at him, “I don’t know what to tell you”

“So he is a Black”, he said slowly

“Yes…”, you whispered

“And what are you doing with this information?”

“I’m not even sure”, you said, you could not tell him not even a single thing that would reveal there was a third… or even fourth? person involved in this, because there was… your father’s murderous brother… Sirius Black

You did not want to discuss it further… so lucky for you, your friends came back from the Great Hall, with food for the two of you

“Oh are those lamb chops? my favorite!”, you cheered as Pansy brought you a generous plate. “You are the best!”

“I know i know”, she said with a wide smile 

“What were you talking about?”, asked Matthew, as you were stuck to Draco’s side with serious looks on your faces

“Nothing”, you both said at the same time, but nobody seemed contented 

Two days later, Wednesday after lunch, you were dreading the DADA class after what happened on the first first day of the week. You and Draco were concerned, and already made plans to sit together at the end of the classroom. You entered the room ignoring Potter, Weasel, and their mocking grins, you could tell that his ass wasn’t the only thing Draco had bruised, so you sat quietly at the back, Matthew, Goyle and the others followed suit 

You grabbed your book, “The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self- Protection”, and waited silently like you were waiting for your execution. You heard him coming even down the hall 

He entered quickly, he was actually nimble, you didn’t even dared to look at him

“You can put those silly books away, you won’t need them”, is the only thing he said while he walked to the front of the class 

He passed the list, he barely growled your name and once that was out of the way, after muttering some sort of, “glad I don’t have any cowards on my class”, he took a piece of chalk and started writing on the board 

“Alastor Moody…”, he wrote, “... Ex Auror… and MInistry’s malcontent… and your new defense against the dark arts teacher, I am here because Dumbledore asked me, end story, any questions?”, nobody said anything, they were all looking at him wide-eyed. “I spoke with your professor… Lupin… I can see you had seen all kinds of magical creatures, but you are very behind in curses…”, he looked all around, you felt chills when you saw his bionic eye looking straight at you, “so first… can anyone tell me… how many unforgivable curses they are?”, many raised their hands, even you but Granger was the one

“Three Ser”, she said with a choked voice, he turned to keep writing

“And they are so named?”

“Because they are unforgivable”, no shit, “the use of any of them on a human being will…”

“Land you a one-way ticket to Azkaban correct”, then he turned to you all, “the ministry says you are too young to see what these curses do… I say different!”, he said angrily, “you need to know what you are up against!”, he said, turning again, “you need to be prepared!”, he said then, :you need to find another place to stick your bubblegum Mr Finnigan”, you quickly catched on that his magical eye would let him see to the back of his head. “... Now Weasley”, he called

“Yes?”, the Redhead whimpered, seems like the two of you weren’t the only ones who were scared of Mad-Eye

“Stand!”, you were surprised he could stand on those wobbly legs, “Give us a curse”, you shared looks with Draco

“My dad told me about one”

“I bet he did”, Draco whispered

“The Imperius curse”, he mumbled. Now you did now about the unforgivable curses, everyone did, but you never really knew which were them or how were they called 

“Oh, yeah, your father would know all about that one”, moody said, “give the ministry quite a bit of grief a few years ago”, he then turned to the class, “Perhaps this will show you why”, he said, he directed to a jar at the side of the professor’s “space”, and grabbed a strange spider-like creature from one of them “Lovely little beauty”, he said taking it in his palm, “Engorgio”. 

Was he really going to…? You shared concerned looks with your friends, but they all seemed entranced by the professor and what you were sure about to witness

“Don’t you think…”, you started saying to Draco, but mad eye interrupted you

“Imperio!”, he chanted, and you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop in the classroom. The huge spider leaps from his hand into the table, at the flick of his wand, and then he sends it to Ron Weasley’s head, who whimpered in fear, “Don’t worry! It's completely harmless!”, he mocked, making it jump from student to student. You had to admit, it was funny, but the mere thought of Mad-Eye controlling it made your skin crawl. Everyone was laughing, watching the spider jump from table to table, Moody even made it dance.

You watched your friends, and they all seemed fascinated, laughing their asses off 

“Think it’s funny, do you?” Moody growled. “You’d like it, would you, if I did it to you?”, then, suddenly, everyone stopped laughing, “it’s total control”, he said darkly, “what should I make her do next?”, he said, he made her fly again to stick to the window, “jump out the window?”, then he moved her again, making the spider hover over a bucket of water, “drown herself?”, he teased, and then he took it back into his hand

“Total control,” said Moody, as the spider was more relaxed, right in his palm, “Scores of witches and wizards have claimed that they only did You-Know-Who's bidding under the influence of the lmperius Curse. But here's the rub: How do we sort out the liars?”, he said, looking at all of you, one by one

The room got all quiet. 

“Another, another”, he encouraged. You gasped when hands shot up in the air, “Longbottom is it?”

“There’s the… cruciatus curse”, Draco leaned in to you

“His parents were tortured to madness with the Cruciatus curse”, he whispered, and you gasped

“Correct! CORRECT!, come”, he invited him to stand and walk until he was right by his side. “Particularly nasty, this one, the torture curse!”, he said loudly, “CRUCIO!”, it was so… surreal, the delicacy with which he handled his wand, and then the screeches of the small creature. 

You felt bile crawling up your throat as your looked away from the scene, a wand a single green thread connecting it with its victim, that started shaking and twisting over the desk

Nobody was laughing now

You turned back to the scene, to watch that boy shaking, Longbottom, you couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was extremely disturbed by the scene, as were you all

You turned back to your friends, and it came both as a bucket of ice cold water but at the same time not at all, when you saw Mattheos smirking

“Stop it!”, shrieked Granger, unknowingly, throwing you a lifeline back to the reality at hand, “don’t you see it's bothering him? STOP IT!”, she cried, Moody then raised his head, that had been concentrating on its victim all this long, and then… he released it from its torment.

Even from the back of the class, you could see the small monster still shaking, like it was suffering spasms 

Longbottom returned to his seat, and when he turned you could see his face, and a tear falling from his cheek. Its like he picked them with a twisted sense… he picked Weasley, knowing his father had suffered it, and then Neville, and then… well…

“Perhaps you could give us the last unforgivable curse Miss Granger?”, but there was no answer, “no?”, he asked. And it happened. “Avada Kadavra”, a green light, and it was all over, the spider turned on its belly, just like, it was dead. “the killing curse”, he mumbled, “only one person is known to have survived it, and he is sitting in this room”, all eyes turned to Potter

Did “you know who” really hit him with the killing curse? 

The room was quiet, really quiet, nobody said a thing, you didn’t even realized you were grabbing onto Draco so hard that you were squeezing his arm, and he was so shocked he didn’t even protest. You released him gently, apologetically, and it all seemed to be in motion again when Moody began moving and talking once more

“Not nice, not pleasant”, he said, “there is no blocking it”, he said shortly, “but you can… fight the Imperius curse, and you can also get out of the cruciatus, if you are quick enough”, and he started writing on the board, “write this down”, he continued, “you need to be prepared for what’s out there, no dark wizard is going to come at you and tell you what he is about to do, you need to be in constant vigilance, and that{s what I{m here for, to teach you how to fight this things”

Then as you were looking over the classroom, you saw something you never thought you’d see

Matthew was raising his hand

“Yes?”, Moody was still with his back turned, but when he turned around to meet him, he stopped on his tracks, watching him, with something you even thought was admiration, what was going on?

“What if you practice those on… an animal… I mean, you just practiced them all and i don’t see dementors coming for you”, he said, his fascination was unsettling 

“Yes, only when you use them on a human being… you’ll get sent to Azkaban…”, he said slowly

“What if you practice them on muggles?”, he continued, and the entire room was conflicted, you could see it in their faces

“Muggles are human”, he said shortly, and then turned again, “now, the last one the killing curse, I can promise you, it requires a large amount of magic, and I’m sure, that if you all point their wands at me and mutter the words, it wouldn’t even tickle me”, he kept going, [it requires a dark will, a desire, to manage to perform them…”, and the class continued…

The unforgivable curses.

How could you have possibly known… that in a matter of three years… all of you would have used at least one of them.

. . .

To your delight… September passed by in a rush, and October came quickly. 

You could feel the excitement all over the castle, but the professors were anxious and a bit nervous. You could tell, the kid count was going up significantly, and as Dumbledore said, they all worked hard to ensure the safety of the most dangerous tournament in europe.

It was one of the most exciting events to ever be lived, for sure.

The Quidditch season would be starting by now, and you waited and waited, but no remaining teammate came to you, and they were not gathering together either, so you, with Draco, came to a solution, it was your opportunity to take control of the team. Marcus and Adrian did promise you to leave you as captain… so… you were claiming what would be yours by right. 

You knew the cup was out either way, but that shouldn’t prevent you from playing Quidditch, so… you came to the next conclusion. 

You needed a dispensation for organizing Quidditch friendlies.

So that had you and Draco side by side looking up at Snape with puppy eyes 

“You heard the headmaster”, muttered Snape

“Yes, I know, but we were hoping that you would give us a special dispensation”, you said softly, he stopped and looked at you with one of his eyebrows raised, “please?”

“To do what exactly?”, he said, already bored with you two

“Practice”, you answered quickly, “play against the two teams, the main and the spare one”, you answered, “it's the last year for many of the team and they would love to play… besides, it's only to keep practicing so next year… we can take a shot at the cup as both of us we still going to be here”, that seemed to interest him more 

“Very well Basilik, Malfoy, I will give you the dispensation, only if that’s the only way to shut you up”, he said, bored

“It will be!”, you were so happy. You ran when you had the parchment, shouting something in the lines of “no take backs”

You could already feel the chilly air in your face like when you were riding your broom and scoring many goals. This was going to be amazing

“We need to get Warrington, Montague and Bletchley”

“I got those, you get Derrik, and Boyle, our beaters”

You never thought what it was going to become of your Quidditch friendlies 

Word spread like wildfire, and soon, you had not only two but at least three teams only out of Slytherin, your organized little tournaments for after class and the weekends and you were having a blast! And the amazing part is… that the other houses also joined in

First was Ravenclaw, who you had noticed watching your training, then Hufflepuff, and soon, the three houses were organizing friendly tournaments.

You were so distracted, you barely noticed, that the day had arrived

It was Halloween already and was finally the day in which you were going to receive the new schools. Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. The first one, the one you should have attended, and the second… not only the one Draco was supposed to go to, but… also… specialist in dark magic, really dark stuff.

This was going to be an interesting mix.

You waited patiently in your seats in the great hall, as instructed, right before dinner, this was going to be so, so amazing 

“Please welcome, the lovely ladies of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic!”, presented Dumbledore, “and their headmistress Madame Maxine”

Against everybody would believe from tonight, Beauxbatons was not an only-girls school, but they chose to only bring a comitive of the most perfect looking young girls you had ever seen. As you saw those blue uniforms, you wondered how you would have looked in those. How would you be speaking perfect french, being in the beautiful school in the Pyrenees 

You were brought back to reality, with your friend’s cheers. You looked back at Pansy as she looked as annoyed as you were becoming when you saw him drool over the girls who danced by. You looked at Draco as he seemed just as spellbound as Theo and Matthew

“Hey!”, you called in, snapping your fingers in front of him, he returned is eyes to you in a second so did the other two

“I wasn’t looking”, he said quickly, like he had been caught doing something naughty, but you only laughed.

“Boys, am I right?”, you mocked to Pansy, she agreed, oh but you spoke too soon… 

“Now, help me welcome our friends from the North! the lads of Durmstrang, and their headmaster Igor Karkaroff”, a loud bang and a powerful entrance… the boys of Durmstrang entered in an epic show of strength and even pyrotechnics 

“You got a little something”, mocked Draco, pointing at the edge of your mouth, were metaphorical drooling

“Alright I see your point”, you giggled, but it wasn’t over yet, because you and Pansy, joined by Tracy and Daphne, dropped your mouth when you saw him

“Is that…?”

“Viktor Krum”, Tracy said, with a wide smile

“Its him!”, Said Daphne all enamored. And that did not seem to entertain the boys at all. The guy was impressive, although he did look like he could be the headmaster of said school 

“Welcome! welcome!”, said Dumbledore with big smiles, taking turns to greet both headmasters, Madame Maxine, who was possibly the tallest person you had ever seen. And Igor Karkaroff

You had heard about him

He was a Deatheater, one of the Dark Lord’s followers back in the day, which was… unsettling, but not surprising if you knew the interest of said school for the dark arts.

To your surprise, the boys took their seats at your table, as it had been enlarged for that purpose. 

“The Triwizard Tournament brings together three schools for a series of magical contests. From each school, a single student is selected to compete. Now let me be clear. lf chosen, you stand alone. And trust me when l say these contests are not for the faint-hearted”, he said strongly, “but more of that later!”, he clapped his hands and the feast showed up in front of you. You noticed different plates tonight, no doubt French and Bulgarian’s delicacies for your guests.

The ladies of Beauxbatons seated with the Ravenclaws, and you were genuinely happy and amazed of how easy they started mingled with other students, just as the boys started to speak with the foreign students

Draco started speaking to them too, as you managed to arrive early to the hall and get the best seats, you were right by their side.

You admired Krum because he was a great Quidditch player, well, he was handsome, but… you giggled, already smitten.

“You were at the final”, said Krum over Draco, as he had gone up the box to met the minister and all who had the VIP passes

“Yes!”, you said, more excited that you should be, “it was an amazing game!”

“Thank you”, he smiled softly.

But the hall got quiet again, the fast was over, and Dumbledore had risen from his chair, in the middle of the room, a huge golden box had been set up

“Eternal glory!”, Dumbledore started, “that is what awaits the student who wins the Triwizard Tournament, but to do this that student must survive three tasks”, said what you want about Dumbledore, but something nobody could take away from him was that he was a great orator, “three extremely dangerous tasks, for this reason the Ministry has seen fit to impose a new rule…”, he said with a relieved smile, “to explain all this we have the head of the Department of international Magical Cooperation Mr. Bartemius Crouch”, a man you had never seen before stood up next to Dumbledore, and also present in the room was that weird man who still whore a ridiculous Quidditch suit, Ludo Bagman

“Thank you, thank you”, he said, “the Ministry has concluded that, for their own safety no student under the age of 17 shall be allowed to put forth their name for the Triwizard Tournament. This decision is final” , immediately, boos and jeers could be heard in every corner of the room. 

“That’s bollocks!”

“You don’t know what you are doing!”

“SILENCE!”, demanded Dumbledore, without even doing a spell to make everybody quiet 

With a flick of his wand, the huge coffer opened to reveal a very old looking goblet.

“The goblet of fire”, he said, “anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament need only to write their name in a piece of parchment and throw it in the flames before this hour on Thursday night”, he said loudly, “do not do so lightly, if chosen, there is no turning back, as from this moment, the triwizard tournament has begun”

You looked down at the table, you didn’t know of anyone in Slytherin of seventh year that wanted to submit, but you saw a group at the end graving one boy who you couldn’t remember right now, Slytherin champion was looking sharp, you looked at the other side of the table, and you saw all the Bulgarian’s eye were in Krum’s shape

Having the other schools made you feel so strange, a strange sense of pride in you, you wanted your school to beat their asses, as you watched every class and every meal, of all the students together, an excitement filled you, you wanted your school to be the very best. 

The week went terribly quickly, you didn’t even get a chance to see who dropped their names in the goblet of fire. 

You knew the same Slytherin boy had dropped it, you also knew Cedric Diggory did as well, you also knew the twins wanted to, but couldn’t as they were both 16. You saw them walking around with beards and white hair, and they weren’t the only ones. Apparently that was the fate of everyone who tried to cheat and get their names in.

As you gathered again in the great hall a week later, you were so, so excited, but, as they named Cedric champion which wasn't a surprise, he was famous in the school for being… well, a great quidditch player, the smartest one and also,  well, very cute and sweet.

Viktor Krum was selected as well when his name came out of the Goblet after the flames changed colors, this was spectacular…

Fleur Delacour was chosen as well, as Beauxbatons champions, she was so gorgeous, it was known that she was a Veela from her mother’s side, it made sense, you had never seen such beautiful hair like she did. Three champions, fighting for their lives in a terrifying contest for eternal glory, and you were going to get to watch and….

For Merlin’s fluffy robes. 

Potter

. . .

Since Harry was chosen as a champion, Draco’s humor was in the gutter, so Quidditch practice was a good distraction for the both of you. A single place which didn’t revolve around Potter was always welcome.

Is not that you hated him, that poor guy had some serious messed up things on his plate, it was just tiring, every year something has disrupted your school year, and it was always his fault or he was involved somehow 

This year the Hogwarts’ Quidditch cup was suspended due to the Triwizard Tournament, but you had been so hyped up because of the World Cup you had asked Snape to give you special dispensation to play, just for fun, you called in the replacement team too,  and you played each other, it was quite fun.

“Head’s up, the Bulgarians are watching”, it was a practice and yet, when you looked up and saw Viktor Krum there your cheeks got so heated you thought you had a fever

“Not you too Basilik!”, Cassius mocked

“He is very handsome and nimble”, you giggled

“Head in the game Basilik”, he growled, as Draco frowned 

“Sorry”, you said quickly, shooking your head

And that is how you ended up playing Quidditch with Viktor Krum himself.

[carakook]

Honey boo are you doing well?

How are you?

Please dont overwork yourself!!

OK LONG RAMBLE INCOMING ABOUT BLOOM BUT: This is so damn sweet. Not gonna lie, I’m a bit stressed out, and I nearly teared up when reading this because it’s so sweet that someone checked on me. You lil Angel!!! 🥲

If you care to know the long version of what happened to chapter 5 and why it’s so late, read below, if not, tldr is that I had to rewrite chapter 5 but it is coming I pinky promise. 🥲

I have avoided making an update on what happened with Bloom because it has me STRESSED and IRRITATED. I didn’t want to make it seem as if I was avoiding uploading chapter 5 and can’t stick to a schedule, because I fucking hate empty promises and being late. Especially since I have said I would upload it like twice now and haven’t. 🥲

Bloom Chapter 5 is still very much alive, however, I did not write it as a draft on Wattpad like I normally do. This is where I feel I fucked up badly. I integrated Bloom and Metamorphosis both into word documents so that I could have it all in front of me to reference as I write. Chapter 5 was finished (and nearly 16k words long), and I was planning on uploading it last Saturday at 11am central time. All I had to do was grammar check it.

As I was grammar checking it Friday night, my computer froze, and when I turned it back on it was not working at all. It would turn back on, and then it would freeze again shortly after. I could barely even open the browser. This was an issue not only because I was using it to write, but because that’s the laptop that I use for my job as well. I’m not very tech savvy so I had to do a bunch of googling and went as far as contacting my ex when trouble shooting everything google said didn’t work, (ew fucking gross holy shit EW!!! But he’s a computer nerd and I didn’t know who else to go to!) and he told me I needed to factory reset it and re-install windows and that should fix it.

I was unaware that in doing this, all of my files would be deleted if not backed up. And they were not backed up recently. I’m also pretty sure there was an option to keep the files I had on my computer but I didn’t pay attention when resetting it and reinstalling windows, I just clicked the buttons and hoped for the best. That’s my own damn fault. I was in a rush to fix it because I was panicking.

You can probably guess the rest. After resetting my computer, I found out that the most recent backup was when Bloom Chapter 5 was only 5K words long. And I tried for literal hours to see if there was a way to recover the file. But I couldn’t. Not only was Bloom affected, but Metamorphosis too. My computer is fixed now thank god, but I lost a good chunk of my work.

Metamorphosis was originally a reader x JK fic, but I wanted to change it because, as I stated in the poll, it’s a fic that is very specific and I don’t think a lot of readers could really relate to the MC. So I had to go in and edit the entire chapter and rewrite it to reflect that, and I also ended up adding things to the first chapter. But after the shit that happened to my computer, barely any of it is edited in the word document that’s backed up.

This was all very frustrating for me because not only did I have to re-write chapter 5 of Bloom but I also am going to have to re-edit metamorphosis.

I’m sure this could’ve been avoided some how but I was paranoid about my computer not being fixed in time for my job. I rely on it to work, without it I literally can’t do my job. And I have bills to pay. So I kinda freaked out and did this all very carelessly.

This is all on top of the irl stress going on in my life.

My point in this ramble is that I’m sorry Bloom Chapter 5 isn’t out yet. I have been rewriting it slowly since this happened last week, but it was kind of discouraging because I was really proud of what was written. But it’s ok!! As I’ve been rewriting it I’ve added some details that weren’t there before and sort of reformatted how the chapter goes. So it will still be just as good. And it’s almost done, I’m just working on the last parts of it.

Metamorphosis I haven’t touched. I’ve been focusing on trying to finish this chapter of Bloom before touching anything else because I know y’all are excited about it, I am too. I love writing Bloom but this kinda just made me ☹️

I’m sorry I haven’t been on schedule (lol I announced the schedule and didn’t stick to it, wtf), normally I’m very on time when I set a schedule for something, I’m rarely late. But I promise after chapter 5 comes out, it’ll be more consistent. And I’m making sure this isn’t happening again, I liked using word documents because I had every chapter in one place, but I’m not doing that shit again. I have actually just moved chapter 5 to a tumblr draft and am working on it there, because as soon as I write the last word I’m uploading it, and it won’t be lost that way if something happens to my dumb ass laptop. 😭

I’m sorry guys. I don’t wanna disappoint anyone. But I’m working on it I promise. And thank you for checking on me to who wrote this ask, you don’t know how sweet that is or how much it means to me. Irl I’m kind of a hermit, I don’t have many friends and I’m not super close to my family, and I work at home as I’ve stated before so I don’t go out much. So no one checks on me really. So thank you, really. I love you. 😭💜

After posting this, I’m working on finishing chapter 5. The moment it is finished I’m uploading it. I wanted to post this because seeing this ask made me feel better about explaining why it’s so late, and also I didn’t want you guys thinking I just wasn’t going to upload it. Anyways… I won’t make promises but I’m hoping to have it finished tonight and posted tomorrow night. Fingers crossed. 🤞

[supersoakerfullofblood]

guess who's back with another question lol

so I've been struggling to get back into fixing my first drafts.. it's exhausting and i really just want to write new stuff but if i do that i won't fix any of the drafts, I'll just keep writing (+ what if i decide to change sth when rewriting my drafts? i can't write new stuff then)

so i find myself at a standstill where is stagnate and do nth. any advice? 😁

If you ever have a manuscript (and I mean a full, completed draft, not like the first ten chapters of an eleven-chapter novel) that you want to do anything with--query, self publish, post online, show to friends--revision is a necessity. Obviously you don't need to revise if you don't want to, but if you want your writing to be as strong as it can be, revising is just as important as drafting.

I think part of why you don't feel motivated to edit and revise is that you're using the verbiage "fix." It makes you believe the work you've done is inherently flawed as opposed to the reality of it being a work-in-progress. A manuscript can feel like a completed project because, well, the book is there! You wrote it all down! And while that is certainly an accomplishment and something you should treat yourself over, it's still not done. If your brain even a little bit thinks of it as "done," then your next thought is going to be: damn, there are so many flaws here, time to fix all my fuckups. It's a thought that paralyzes attempts to actually do something, either to revise or to work on a different project.

The best advice I have, then, is to not let your indecision paralyze you. It's difficult to do anything "wrong" in the writerly life as long as you keep writing (whatever that means for you, whether it's every day or a few times a week). If you want to make yourself eat your writerly vegetables by taking a month off of drafting to revise your manuscript, go for it! It's well worth the effort. If you want to keep drafting and set that manuscript aside, that's okay too! Just know that if you ever want to do anything with that piece (query, self publish, post online, show friends), you're going to want it to be the best it can be, and that means editing and revising.

Side note: you might also find yourself disliking your writing projects near the end of them or after you've finished them. This is largely the talk of a little demon inside you; don't listen to him. If you think you're an alright writer, treat everything you write with respect, because everything you write says something, likely many things you don't recognize for a while, about yourself. If you're in your earliest stages as a writer, though, I'd feel fine setting your writing off to the side if it falls out of favor for you. If you're a new writer, everything you do is experimentation; you don't know how to express yourself yet. I have I think a ~140 page manuscript I wrote in high school that I will never ever look at again because I was young and experimenting and I hate it. This is okay and normal! BUT if you're at least an alright writer (and this is entirely up to your discretion), I wouldn't listen to the little demon in you at all.

[greatprotector-if]

Hii, I want to make if game but I'm kinda slow writer. Also I have never written so many words like other authors and it's a bit paralyzing. Do you have any advice how to deal with it?

anon i am so sorry this is 100% just rambling. the TLDR; my advice to you is this: comparison is the thief of joy. i know it's hard not to compare yourself to others, it's a super natural instinct for most of us, but seriously, as long as you're doing the best that you can, it doesn't matter how much or how little everyone else is doing. try changing your scenery! write in a different location! write using different materials! don't even bother with proper grammar and punctuation or whether things sound good or make sense for your rough draft. just write. Don't go back and fix things. and it might suck and you might just end up having to rewrite the entire thing in the end but at least now you know what not to do! and i am wishing you the absolute best in all your if writing endeavours <3

i'm fr just a guy so i'm so sorry if this advice is shit. i'm not a professional. idk if you came to me just because you saw the "slow writer" in the intro post and you saw a kindred spirit, but just in case you are not aware.... i am such a slow writer and i'll be so honest when i started tgp by far the longest thing i'd written was 11k words and it took like... 10 months to finish. usually the stuff i wrote was 500 words in Total and i was also the type of fanfic writer on wattpad who'd post three chapters and then never touch the book ever again

so, not a great foundation for a game that requires this level of commitment, and i knew that!! but i dunno i was so excited about the idea and the characters and i felt like i needed to share it with the world so i just went fuck it and started. when i first got that intro post up i had nothing but a handful of characters, a vague idea and a dream.......

basically what i'm trying to say is. I get it.

and my advice to you is: just do it LOL just write your if game!!!

it will be scary and impostor syndrome is SUCH A BITCH. you will encounter authors who will write like 100k words in the time it takes you to write 5k and THAT IS OKAY. I FEEL THIS EVERY DAY. BUT YOUR WORTH IS NOT BASED ON HOW MANY WORDS YOU CAN WRITE IN AN HOUR, SO TRY YOUR BEST NOT TO BE TOO HARSH ON YOURSELF. COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY. if your best one day is 15 words and they aren't even good words? that's fine. at least you're getting something down. you are doing the best you can in that moment, and that's what's most important!!!

ALSO WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO WRITE. you cannot appeal to everyone. there will be people who simply will not enjoy your game and you know.. we ball anyway because there will also be people who LOVE YOUR GAME JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO, IF NOT MORE. i find that a lot of the time i'm stuck because i'm so worried about catering to my audience, and while it's okay to be conscious of these things, don't let it paralyze you. do not make your story about a bunch of bullshit you don't care about just because it's popular or something or you will just Never progress because you don't care about writing it. those days i shit out 1k (WHICH IS A LOT FOR ME IN ONE DAY) are because i'm like JUMPING OFF THE WALLS EXCITED ABOUT WHAT I'M WRITING ABOUT. WHO CARES IF WHAT YOU WANT TO WRITE ABOUT IS CRINGE (cringe culture is dead anyway) OR SUPER NICHE OR WON'T GET YOU A MILLION FOLLOWERS IMMEDIATELY. i mean don't get me wrong validation feels so good i'm a bit of an attention whore myself but also you deserve to create things that make you feel good, and this is what sustains a long-term project. You know? You feel me? You pickin up what i'm putting down? plus there will always be other people who vibe with your story, no matter how much you think you're the only one it appeals to.

but just in case you aren't just here for incoherent moral support, i would highly recommend straying away from plain old google docs or whatever it is that you usually use to write and trying new things! pen and paper??? pen and Cardboard box (this one works really well for me for my art block for some reason LMAO)??? write while sitting on the stairs instead of at your desk??? stimuwrite 2.0 (i cannot recommend this enough the bubble wrap sounds are sooo good)???

also. remember that rough drafts are just that: Rough Drafts. just write!!! maybe it'll turn out great, but maybe it'll be complete shit. maybe it'll make you want to throw up just reading it back. DON'T DELETE IT AND WORRY ABOUT HOW TO MAKE IT SOUND BETTER. I DONT CARE IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY USED THE WORD "JUST" 3 TIMES IN 1 SENTENCE. AS LONG AS YOU GOT THE MESSAGE ACROSS ENOUGH FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND IT YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.

ok sorry i am mildly sleep deprived at the time of writing this i'm so sorry if i literally just didn't answer any kf your questions at any point in here. i have no idea what i'm doing i just roll with the punches!!!!!!

[the-sky-queen]

Am I the only one who wants to see more of splash and how that version of no-place works...? Like I want to see the charaters interact because to me no-place is the most interesting shatter-verse. Like bosscage doesn't really have much to work with/around. (At least to what I can think of. Only thing I was able to come up with was that bosscage is sorta like a dystopian version of the Canon world where most people are currently on an spaceship in space and the survivors on the earth are very few. I went somewhere with this AU but ran out of ideas for it and ended it abruptly and then failed to find any other ideas for bosscage) And for New Yoke, I think the actual show fleshed out the world enough. Whatever AU I create around New Yoke is just a happy-filled environment (for the most part, I do start with some torture and agony to a certain charater for them to be rescued and have a recovery arc but after that it's just happiness) Like I can't make myself give more suffering to theese versions anymore so I decided to leave it alone. And for the grim, it has potential due to all the crystals and emptiness, but I couldn't really figure anything out since in the show it looked really small compared to other shatterspaces, Am I the only one who felt that? I felt like the Grim was significantly smaller in size than any other shatterspace so I just couldn't come you with anything for it. HOWEVER, No place was an entirely different story. I really looked at this and said wait a damn minute. It really was what I am looking for, A huge uncolored canvas. It set up a pirate theme and that's it. So I came up with a lot of stuff for it and was even more amused when I searched and found a whole lot of different prompts, stuff I never even thought of about it. I read through a lot of prime au's containing all shatterverses but again... I really focused on No-place the most. Because again, I didn't really find anything new in bosscage prompts, and all New Yoke prompts were full of angst which are fun and very sad to read but again I really can bring myself to expand an AU on more greif given to these people. And I found no grim prompts, I never really specifically looked for them, I just never saw any scrolling through the sonic prime AU tag.

But holy hell was I invested in all and every No-place prompt I saw. It was very amazing how different yet so similar they all were. It can go to deities making their return to simple pirate adventure between a corny but absolutely lovable pirate version of th cast.

I found Splash through Gale from @son1c and I actually loved the concept and was very sad about there being only 2 posts about it.

Sometimes family members ask me why I never post any fics I write. It's because I know that this little monstrosity just contains at least 1 line that is my orginal idea and everything else is just a mix and mend between 186 different prompts that I definitely don't know who wrote and can't credit and can't find the posts Again because I probably found it after scrolling for 3 hours on the sonic prime AU tag. All my sonic fics are actually connected in some way, Meaning that every AU is canon in every other AU so it's basically I take the prompt idea and find a way to slap it in with a few small tweaks and changes to make it somehow work. I made a monstrosity that I am so proud of, which you will never see because I will never post it.

Now please,

I beg of thee. Make more of splash the hedgehog because I actually can't think of anything.

This made me smile! I'm so happy to hear that you love Splash, even though I haven't posted much about him. I'm planning on writing a story for him as part of my With Great Power Comes AU. I need to rewrite the first chapter and figure out the plot though. 😅

Anyway, you made me happy, so here's some various doodles of Splash! (Sketched these as soon as I could because you talking about Splash got me thinking and I had some ideas.)

Some close ups under the cut.

[ladyramora]

Author Interview

Tagged by @eemamminy-art

Putting a read more because this baby is looong....

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 72! It would be more if I posted all of my Tumblr snippets separately lol

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

467,534 words.

A decent bit, I think. Though I started writing again in 2015, so maybe it's not much? It's not everything I've written on Tumblr, either.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

I used to write for FF11 & Inu Yasha, plus Inu Yasha & Yuyu Hakusho crossover fic. I never deleted my fanfic dot net account, but it is all super old now. Nobody go looking for it! I may one day rewrite some of those old fic, but confronting my teenage writing skills is a bit much for me right now lmao.

My Ao3 is all FFXIV at this point, but that is subject to change! I have a c0mmission from Divinity: Original Sin 2 I'm currently working on! (Ifan. He's such an interesting, handsome guy. I'm having fun writing him~ ❤️)

I am interested in writing for other fandoms! For instance, Nu Carnival that is currently one of my favorite games, and possibly BG3? But I only know of it, haven't played it, I'll have to do research to write for it.

I just need to work through my current queue first!

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm gonna go by actual chaptered fic, not just my collections of Tumblr snippets.

• Drowning in Blue:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4679429/chapters/10680896

Kudo count: 460 ❤️

Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert).

Summary: The Warrior of Light is granted a wish from Hydaelyn after being gravely wounded in the fight with the Ascians.

I have a lot of love for this one, however I would like to go back & edit it to make it more friendly to nonbinary & they/them readers. I do enjoy the writing style I have in this one. I do remember writing chapter after chapter of this one, day after day. A lot of passion there.

• In plain sight:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333374/chapters/9826917

Kudo count: 385 ❤️

Yet another Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert).

Summary: The Warrior of Light has fled from Ul'dah to take refuge in Camp Dragonhead after being accused of treason. Though dark times have forced them there, it is in Camp Dragonhead that potentially disastrous shenanigans ensue. Much Fluff with attempts at humor. Haurchefant x WoL. Tataru and Alphinaud friendships.

This one! The fic where I created Ger! Another one I would like to edit to make more friendly to non-binary & they/them readers. I'd also like to update Ger's characterization, because she's an entirely different character now! But I really enjoyed writing this fic. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed exploring Haurchefant's character & building up the relationship between him and WoL. I had a sequel planned & everything. I'd still like to write that sequel eventually. I have a draft on my computer for it lol.

•Switching Roles:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9899933

Kudo count: 266 ❤️

Summary: Estinien lies in wait for Aymeric. This is also porn. Can be stand alone, but more like a sequel to Sweet like birch syrup.

Estinien and Aymeric were my first foray into writing smut, not just fading to black or ending at the buildup & making people ask in my comments "that's it? where's the rest of it?"

Oh, how far we have come since then! I used to say I was strictly a fluff/romance writer with occasional angst. Now look at me. 95% pure, explicit smut!

•Peculiarity:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36427720/chapters/90829135

Kudo count: 244 ❤️

Hermes/Warrior of Light (reader insert?) from Hermes POV.

I won't post the summary because it's kinda sorta Endwalker Spoilers! Sorry!

I will say that this fic is my current baby. I love Hermes sooo much. I relate to him a lot. It makes me very sad that so many people in fandom seem to hate him. My poor, misguided little meow meow.

Yet another character I ship with Ram, in theory, but as of yet not in written practice. Just vibes, just brainwyrms doing loops in the old noggin.

•The Cats Meow:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4508475/chapters/10253364

Kudo count: 243 ❤️

Haurchefant/Miqo'te WoL (reader insert)

Summary: Haurchefant notices the cat-like qualities in the Miqo'te!WoL. Attempts at humor and fluff.

Ok, this one is just silly fluff. Much romance. Very cute. Meow. This was around the time I was still playing my miqo'te, before I left her standing by Haurchefant's desk before level 57.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Eyes Ever Heavensward

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29054034

Kudo count: 33 ❤️

Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert)

Summary:

The one where Haurchefant is a member of the Heavensward, and WoL is storming The Vault. Angst. Feels. Unhappy Ending.

Ok, I probably have a few angsty ones but this one made me cry while I was writing it. I think it's just angstier because of what WoL is forced, with no other choice, to do in the fic.

:( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have so many that end on positive/happy endings. I can't really say what is the happiest. Maybe fix-it fics?

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not so much on fic. I have gotten some mean/malicious anons on Tumblr, but not since my fanfiction dot net days have I gotten "flames" or somebody sending me a link to my fic being posted on "gaff" (god awful fanfiction). That was really mean lmao.

I just end up deleting hateful comments, anons, etc. Who wants to waste time on that?

Attacking or harassing real people over fiction is utterly ridiculous and I will never condone that.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Hello, so much smut!

I can write super explicit stuff that is really raunchy, or more flowery/romantic types. Fun, silly, sweet. Darker themes. I'm pretty flexible when it comes to writing smut.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I have. Probably RP? The other crossovers I've done are nowhere near as crazy as things can get in RP.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of??

It's harder to pinpoint with writing, I think. People can have similar ideas, plots, or just enjoy similar tropes.

Unless someone is copying your work word for word, lifting scenes, or using it for A/I... (A/I images & text are theft. We want A/I to help people, not to replace human creativity with regurgitated trash that has no human soul.)

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I think I had someone ask at one point but it was some time ago. I don't even remember what fic it was.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Does RP count?

Brainstorming, bouncing ideas off one another. Or even just doing prompts & requests... I think that counts as creating together, if not actually "co-writing".

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

I have so many!!!

For FFXIV in particular, it's probably still tied between Haurchefant/WoL and Zenos/WoL at the top. Ships with Ysayle or Foulques!! Ships with NPCs that are job class or side characters.

I am really fond of Emet/WoL, too. Tbh, any Scion ship or Ascian ship.

I love them all...

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Don't call me out like this 😔

I want to finish so many...

Ones that I feel I have to edit to add to them, maybe? I just don't have the free time to do so right now.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Hmm. Research and dedication to accurate characterization??

Dialogue, I think, because I enjoy it very much, but that could also be marked in weaknesses because I struggle with certain characters. (Smart characters. Characters like Urianger who have a particular way of speaking, etc, etc.)

Setting the scene. Word counts go crazy with that.

Descriptive writing and character introspection. I can dive deep into that.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely perfectionism. I'm never satisfied. I want every fic I write to be a home cooked meal. Michelin star.

Also run on sentences and my love affair with commas, em dashes, and semicolons.

Keeping the tenses consistent.

World building.

Overworking. (Set word count? What's that? What if 3k fic became a 6k fic became a 9k fic. Oops.)

Having time/energy to write. That's a big one. 🥲

I'm a caretaker for my disabled sister, the designated chef of my household, and just constantly busy every day. I try to squeeze in writing where I can, but some days I'm just so tired and drained that I have basically nothing to spare for my creative pursuits. It's a definite struggle to work through that.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like to read it! It's especially fun if it's a fantasy language like vulcan or elvish.

Unfortunately, I only speak English, and even writing in my first language can be difficult. I don't know any other languages well enough to even attempt writing in them.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Inu Yasha, DBZ, FF11. All when I was a teenager.

Then I didn't write again for years and years. Started up again with FFXIV.

20. favourite fic you've written?

I have so many I love, I can't pick one favorite... I'll just list a few of my favorites right now!

XIVSapphicWeek Snippets

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45529894/chapters/114564367

Ram x Ysayle & RamLynn

(Lynn belongs to my RP partner, @/lynnslight )

I had an AyaGer one planned but I didn't end up writing more before the week ended. I'm still gonna use the prompts & add to it, eventually ❤️

....

•Peculiarity

(Yes, again. I'm posting it twice)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36427720/chapters/90829135

Hermes x WoL

Summary is !Endwalker Spoilers!

This is my current baby, I have the next chapter stewing. The start of the smut always has to be good, you know? The flavor has to be just right~

•A (Primal is a) Wish Your Heart Makes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186616

Angst. Gerchefant? Primal Haurchefant. I have a WIP of the next chapter & it is angst and smut.

(You know what's funny? I've written/posted more Ger smut than Ram smut lmao! Sorry Ram. I love putting Ger in situations 😌❤️)

.....

Favorite series?

Amnesia Zenos, Villain Haurchefant, any Ascian fic (particularly fond of Attracting Ascians, I need to write more for that one.)

Amnesia Zenos

•Dancing In The Dark

Zenos x reader Insert WoL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868251/chapters/39610297

Summary: If Zenos had lost his memory, and WoL was the one to find him.

• Dancing In The Dark - With Two

Zenos x reader Insert WoL

Summary: One with Amnesia, the other without? Two Zenos? You can barely handle one.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868563/chapters/39611086

Villain!Haurchefant

•Villains and Heroes

Summary: “Shh, it’s alright,” the villain said. “You’re doing beautifully and I’m so proud of you. But that’s enough now. It was cruel of them to make you fight me - you could never have won. It’s not your fault.” Villain!Haurchefant

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868086/chapters/39609883

•Attracting Ascians

Ascians x reader insert WoL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053515/chapters/71312748

Summary: The Warrior of Light attracts Ascians like moths to light. Or the one where WoL Kisses Ascians instead of Killing them. (ARR. Early? Maybe. IDK, who cares about Canon, this is Fanfiction.)

....

Special mention to my WiP fics I haven't posted yet except for some snippets like that Ram x Zenos smut, the dark themed/dubcon Fandaniel fics that I'm excited about.

Also the Nu Carnival & Obey Me! fic I started that I want to eventually sit down and properly write...

(I know. Fic that isn't FFXIV? Gasp.)

And of course, the comms!!

I really try to write every comm I get like I'm cooking a homemade meal for someone.

I made it for you. Take a fucking bite bro, I love you man. (Gender neutral uses of 'bro' & 'man', ofc. It's like saying 'dude' to me lol)

https://youtu.be/tkUSCNr0aDE?si=uDbsApgeOLU_SvMx

....

Anyway, thanks for tagging me ❤️

If any of my followers would like to do this, I'm tagging you! 💕

[beauty-and-passion]

Update on my Moceit fiction: the return

I knew we would’ve come to this. And it’s all up to me because, even after years, I still fool myself into thinking that sure, yes, what’s the problem in writing a Moceit that will develop in the span of 10+ years? Easy peasy, six chapters will be enough!

Well, I am a fool.

I reached the last scene of part 2 chapter 2 and realized that I wasn’t developing all themes as well as I wanted. I skipped a lot of stuff and had to use shitty explanations instead. A lot of things were just briefly mentioned in the previous chapter and never addressed again. The entire chapter was getting endlessly long, and my writing experience taught me that if a chapter is getting too long, that means there is something wrong with it. 

In my previous outline, part 2 was supposed to have two chapters only: one from Janus’ pov and the other from Patton’s pov. The first chapter, however, ends with a turning point. And not having Janus’ pov anymore means I will have to keep most of his thoughts on the side and never fully explain what’s going on in his mind, because part 3 will be focused on wrapping everything up.

That wasn’t acceptable. I can do better than this.

And so, I expanded the outline and added two more chapters. This way, I can use Janus’ pov again, explain stuff a lot better and make my life easier for when I’ll start writing part 3.

The two more chapters won’t destroy what I already wrote: the scenes are all okay-ish, they need some proofread and some adjustments here and there. Only two scenes will need a complete rewrite, because they are unfocused, boring and one of them isn’t even canon coherent.

Said that, the new expanded outline is something like this:

PART 1

Chapter 1 (Janus’ pov): it will introduce the whole story and the situation

Chapter 2 (Patton’s pov): it will show how things progressed, all the necessary red flags that will come back in part 2 and close this first part.

PART 2

Chapter 1 (Janus’ pov): it will introduce the new situation and a pretty big issue: the lack of trust

Chapter 2 (Patton’s pov): it will start from chapter 1, go backwards and explain the origin of that issue (In case you’re wondering yes, it’s connected to A Canticle In Steps. And yes, I will try to make this story stand by itself, so you will understand it even without reading A Canticle.)

Chapter 3 (Janus’ pov): it will explore his thoughts after what happened in the previous two chapters

Chapter 4 (Patton’s pov): it will explain some more stuff and lead to the end of this second part.

PART 3

Chapter 1 (Janus’ pov): it will start closing some stuff

Chapter 2 (Patton’s pov): it will add the last piece I kept on the side and wrap everything up

Now, I can’t assure you things won’t change anymore. But I almost closed part 2 when I started to think about these problems and I’ve already put on the table all themes I want to talk about. My goal is now to develop, explain and wrap them up in a way that satisfies me first, then you all (at least that’s what I hope!).

So, well, just thanks for following me and for being patient and kind <3

(One last update: unfortunately, the arson plans are cancelled. Nothing will physically burn, only metaphorically. I know you’re all disappointed, so I hope I’ll make you happy with some fights. Yes, apparently I can’t write a ship if the two of them don’t try to beat the shit out of each other at least once.)

[rainwaterapothecary]

#I AM BUT A FOOL WHO CAN ONLY WRITE ONE SHOTS HOW DO YOU MAKE SUCH COOL EPIC STORIES#YOURE ALL SO TALENTED LIKE WUAGH

I mean SAME but alsdgjhsadflakjd basically for me I like to lay out what I want to cover...in increasingly detailed blurbs.

My first blurb will usually be incredibly bare-bones:

That's the outline of the whole second half of my fic "The Lovers Confidant". (I clearly go back in and cross out ideas that don't work later or copy+paste ideas in as I go. In fact, I don't think I ended up using any of those ideas in the end.)

On my next pass, each chapter gets a little more detail:

Then I'll start digging into dialogue and figuring out what goes where:

I've found that foreshadowing tends to happen organically as I write? Like I'll have written something and at some point when I'm staring at the ceiling three months later I'll be like HOLY SHIT THAT ALL WRAPS AROUND---

And that's the beauty of having such a bare-bones setup, for me. I can write in later additions using highlight or parenthesis:

Every highlighted section was added after the initial pass, each building on the last. (For illustration purposes only, having that much color would drive me bonkers, personally, but everybody's different!)

(I'll also have my sticky notes open in a side tab so I can copy+paste my rough outlines onto it and have it floating nearby - useful for dialogue ideas.)

Then I actually start writing! Long-form helps my stories to unravel themselves as I type, and if something changes in the long-form then it's easy to go back and edit the outline because it was so bare-bones:

For Lovers Confidant I had to have a calendar with all the important dates in it since the game is sort of rigid when it comes to that, so I also had a segment for that.

Here's my calendar for REUnion, actually, since it has so many moving pieces behind-the-scenes:

(It's then followed by a ton of notes and links to wikis and whatnot bc I'm going hard on it.......)

And then it's just editing, editing, EDITING all the long-form over and over again, re-arranging and copy+pasting sentences/paragraphs that don't work into a side document. This is when you can wrench out anything that's slow or not hitting how you want (if it didn't trip you up while writing in the first place).

I also swear by HEADERS!!!!!! They allow your document in Word to make each chapter collapsable and you can easily re-arrange them by just dragging them around on the side pane:

I can make a tutorial if you're interested in that, it's a Microsoft Office thing I picked up at Business College(TM) so idk how many people actually use it. It probably carries over into other word processing programs too.

But honestly? For me it's about jumping into the writing process as quickly as possible. I know I'll psych myself out of writing, or find something to distract me, etc if I don't just fucking write.

The longest fic I've published is only like...30k? But having chapters written down long-form is still more motivating than staring down an idea that could be 130k and just having a few sentences written.

AND ANOTHER THING!

While I'd like for some of my writings to be 50k+ eventually, it's more important to me to have the idea take all the time and space it needs. If that ends up being 800 words? It's 800 words. If it ends up being a oneshot that needs to be broken up into chapters to make it make sense to my readers? Then that's what it needs! I don't know if I'll ever be a writer with 100k+ fics and multiple-work rewritings of entire book series...But dangit my ideas are going to be written to the most authentic they can be. Only I can write my ideas, only I can craft these stories that dance around my head.

And that's fine!! I'm not a huge name in fandoms, I don't have millions of words under my publishing belt... But I'm me, and I'm happy with that. :)

(And yes all my writings are in Bookman Old Style, it helps the ideas flow. If you're ever stuck, try switching fonts. I've heard Comic Sans is useful for some people, while others swear by Helvetica. :) )

To all my so so so so beloved fanfic writer mutuals I’ve gotta know,,,,,,, h o w w w w w w do you write a long multi-chapter fanfic. Like how do you a cohesive and compelling story without it getting boring, how do you write cool plot twists and character motivations that lead up to a defining moment, how do you write things that happen early in the story and then come back later etc etc BASICALLY. HOW DO YOU WRITE. IS WHAT IM ASKING

[swaps55]

So, a little peek behind the curtain for anyone who might be wondering why the hell it's taking me so long to update Fugue.

I've got roughly 18,000 words drafted of what was supposed to be one chapter that is now two. Getting those words out has been an adventure.

I agonized for about a week on whether I had the right person in the right scene for a character moment, decided I didn't, then rewrote the scene with a different character. Which required giving a LOT of thought to How Does This Character Grieve.

And then I decided the scene was in the wrong place so I moved it. And now have to rewrite it again for reasons that I will elaborate on in #9 & #10

I spent a month trying to block out the right sequence of events for an action scene. I finally did it. And I hated it. It felt wrong, Kaidan was out of character, the tension wasn't high enough, and it missed the overall mark by a mile.

Had probably three rubber duck brainstorm sessions with Real Life Romance Option (RLRO) to solve this problem. Revised the scene. Better, but still didn't believe in it. Said fuck it and just moved on. Maybe the answer will become apparent as I move through the rest.

Revised the scene from #1 again now that I had written the scene mentioned in #3, because #1 theoretically resolves some of the tension in #3. But the tension is still fucked up so this scene still isn't right.

Started blocking out the next round of combat, realized that it was boring from Kaidan's POV (not his fault - the interesting action was just happening where he wasn't), and then decided I need to change it up. Wrestled with that for a few days, because writing from the POV of OCs is always a little bit of a risk and I don't do it lightly. Decided it was important and valuable enough to do it.

Problem is, I have not written this character's POV since Sam died, so I took several days to sit with THAT and figure out what the world looks like through her eyes after his death and how that would help me tell the story I needed to tell. Problem: I still didn't REALLY understand what story I was trying to tell. I knew what the basic sequence of events were, but the character growth hadn't clicked yet.

Wrote the POV, and now, some 13-14k into this part of the story, FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT ALL OF THIS IS TRYING TO BE ABOUT. Thank god, now at least I know what I'm trying to accomplish other than Plot.

Realize that I now need to rewrite scene #1 from a totally different POV to create the parallels I'm looking for to move Kaidan along on his grief arc.

This presents a problem, because it puts me in Kara's POV while she is solving an engineering problem, and Kara is much smarter than I am. This meant another brainstorm session with RLRO, who handed me the PERFECT solution to the problem that fixed my character problems, fixed my tension problem, would make it possible for her to be smart without me being smart, etc., BUT, it meant throwing out every single word I'd spent an entire month writing.

Because of this entirely new development, which utterly changes the dynamic I am working with, I have to rewrite #1 AGAIN (which I still have not gotten to because I just finished #10).

I also still have to do first round revisions on the rest of the damn thing, because the back end of these two chapters is really raw and needs some love.

SO THIS IS WHY IT IS TAKING SO LONG. Every time I crown a chapter of Fugue as the most complicated writing I have ever put together, another chapter says, "hold my beer."

Once these are sorted out, I have two more chapters to write plus an epilogue. I think I know what I'm doing for all of it, but because each of these chapters interlink in important ways, what I think I am going to do is just write them before I post anything new. That way, everything will line up right, and once I am ready to post again, I can do it consistently.

I am really hoping I can make some progress over my holiday break (hopefully, but no promises, because I am traveling for part of it).

I am committed to getting this story done, and regret how long it's taking, but trust me, you did not want to read what I had before I figured this out.

Boy this one has been HARD. But I'm almost there. Almost. I'm really happy with the rewrites I just finished. One more big scene to rewrite. Then it's just revisions. I can handle that.

[duckprintspress]

How to Edit an Over-Length Story Down to a Specific Word Count

One of the most wonderful things about writing as a hobby is that you never have to worry about the length of your story. You can be as self-indulgent as you want, make your prose the royalist of purples, include every single side story and extra thought that strikes your fancy. It’s your story, with no limits, and you can proceed with it as you wish.

When transitioning from casual writing to a more professional writing milieu, this changes. If you want to publish, odds are, you’ll need to write to a word count. If a flash fiction serial says, “1,000 words or less,” your story can’t be 1,025 and still qualify. If a website says, “we accept novellas ranging from 20,000 to 40,000 words,” your story will need to fall into that window. Even when you consider novel-length works, stories are expected to be a certain word count to fit neatly into specific genres - romance is usually around 80,000 words, young adult usually 50,000 to 80,000, debut novels usually have to be 100,000 words or less regardless of genre, etc. If you self-publish or work with a small press, you may be able to get away with breaking these “rules,” but it’s still worthwhile to learn to read your own writing critically with length in mind and learn to recognize what you do and do not need to make your story work - and then, if length isn’t an issue in your publishing setting, you can always decide after figuring out what’s non-essential to just keep everything anyway.

If you’re writing for fun? You literally never have to worry about your word count (well, except for sometimes in specific challenges that have minimum and/or maximum word counts), and as such, this post is probably not for you.

But, if you’re used to writing in the “throw in everything and the kitchen sink” way that’s common in fandom fanfiction circles, and you’re trying to transition only to be suddenly confronted with the reality that you’ve written 6,000 words for a short story project with a maximum word count of 5,000...well, we at Duck Prints Press have been there, we are in fact there right now, as we finish our stories for our upcoming anthology Add Magic to Taste and many of us wrote first drafts that were well over the maximum word count.

So, based on our experiences, here are our suggestions on approaches to help your story shorter...without losing the story you wanted to tell!

Cut weasel words (we wrote a whole post to help you learn how to do that!) such as unnecessary adverbs and adjectives, the “was ~ing” sentence structure, redundant time words such as “a moment later,” and many others.

When reviewing dialog, keep an eye out for “uh,” “er,” “I mean,” “well,” and other casual extra words. A small amount of that kind of language usage can make dialog more realistic, but a little goes a long way, and often a fair number of words can be removed by cutting these words, without negatively impacting your story at all.

Active voice almost always uses fewer words than passive voice, so try to use active voice more (but don’t forget that passive voice is important for varying up your sentence structures and keeping your story interesting, so don’t only write in active voice!).

Look for places where you can replace phrases with single words that mean the same thing. You can often save a lot of words by switching out phrases like “come back” for “return” and seeking out other places where one word can do the work of many.

Cut sentences that add atmosphere but don't forward the plot or grow your characters. (Obviously, use your judgement. Don't cut ALL the flavor, but start by going - I’ve got two sentences that are mostly flavor text - which adds more? And then delete the other, or combine them into one shorter sentence.)

Remove superfluous dialog tags. If it’s clear who’s talking, especially if it’s a conversation between only two people, you can cut all the he saids, she saids.

Look for places where you've written repetitively - at the most basic level, “ ‘hahaha,’ he laughed,” is an example, but repetition is often more subtle, like instances where you give information in once sentence, and then rephrase part or all of that sentence in the next one - it’s better to poke at the two sentences until you think of an effective, and more concise, way to make them into only one sentence. This also goes for scenes - if you’ve got two scenes that tend towards accomplishing the same plot-related goal, consider combining them into one scene.

Have a reason for every sentence, and even every sentence clause (as in, every comma insertion, every part of the sentence, every em dashed inclusion, that kind of thing). Ask yourself - what function does this serve? Have I met that function somewhere else? If it serves no function, or if it’s duplicative, consider cutting it. Or, the answer may be “none,” and you may choose to save it anyway - because it adds flavor, or is very in character for your PoV person, or any of a number of reasons. But if you’re saving it, make sure you’ve done so intentionally. It's important to be aware of what you're trying to do with your words, or else how can you recognize what to cut, and what not to cut?

Likewise, have a reason for every scene. They should all move the story along - whatever the story is, it doesn’t have to be “the end of the world,” your story can be simple and straightforward and sequential...but if you’re working to a word count, your scenes should still forward the story toward that end point. If the scene doesn’t contribute...you may not need them, or you may be able to fold it in with another scene, as suggested in item 6.

Review the worldbuilding you’ve included, and consider what you’re trying to accomplish with your story. A bit of worldbuilding outside of the bare essentials makes a story feel fleshed out, but again, a little can go a long way. If you’ve got lots of “fun” worldbuilding bits that don’t actually forward your plot and aren’t relevant to your characters, cut them. You can always put them as extras in your blog later, but they’ll just make your story clunky if you have a lot of them.

Beware of info-dumps. Often finding a more natural way to integrate that information - showing instead of telling in bits throughout the story - can help reduce word count.

Alternatively - if you over-show, and never tell, this will vastly increase your word count, so consider if there are any places in your story where you can gloss over the details in favor of a shorter more “tell-y” description. You don’t need to go into a minute description of every smile and laugh - sometimes it’s fine to just say, “she was happy” or “she frowned” without going into a long description of their reaction that makes the reader infer that they were happy. (Anyone who unconditionally says “show, don’t tell,” is giving you bad writing advice. It’s much more important to learn to recognize when showing is more appropriate, and when telling is more appropriate, because no story will function as a cohesive whole if it’s all one or all the other.)

If you’ve got long paragraphs, they’re often prime places to look for entire sentences to cut. Read them critically and consider what’s actually helping your story instead of just adding word count chonk.

Try reading some or all of the dialog out loud; if it gets boring, repetitive, or unnecessary, end your scene wherever you start to lose interest, and cut the dialog that came after. If necessary, add a sentence or two of description at the end to make sure the transition is abrupt, but honestly, you often won’t even need to do so - scenes that end at the final punchy point in a discussion often work very well.

Create a specific goal for a scene or chapter. Maybe it’s revealing a specific piece of information, or having a character discover a specific thing, or having a specific unexpected event occur, but, whatever it is, make sure you can say, “this scene/chapter is supposed to accomplish this.” Once you know what you’re trying to do, check if the scene met that goal, make any necessary changes to ensure it does, and cut things that don’t help the scene meet that goal.

Building on the previous one, you can do the same thing, but for your entire story. Starting from the beginning, re-outline the story scene-by-scene and/or chapter-by-chapter, picking out what the main “beats” and most important themes are, and then re-read your draft and make sure you’re hitting those clearly. Consider cutting out the pieces of your story that don’t contribute to those, and definitely cut the pieces that distract from those key moments (unless, of course, the distraction is the point.)

Re-read a section you think could be cut and see if any sentences snag your attention. Poke at that bit until you figure out why - often, it’s because the sentence is unnecessary, poorly worded, unclear, or otherwise superfluous. You can often rewrite the sentence to be clearer, or cut the sentence completely without negatively impacting your work.

Be prepared to cut your darlings; even if you love a sentence or dialog exchange or paragraph, if you are working to a strict word count and it doesn't add anything, it may have to go, and that's okay...even though yes, it will hurt, always, no matter how experienced a writer you are. (Tip? Save your original draft, and/or make a new word doc where you safely tuck your darlings in for the future. Second tip? If you really, really love it...find a way to save it, but understand that to do so, you’ll have to cut something else. It’s often wise to pick one or two favorites and sacrifice the rest to save the best ones. We are not saying “always cut your darlings.” That is terrible writing advice. Don’t always cut your darlings. Writing, and reading your own writing, should bring you joy, even when you’re doing it professionally.)

If you’re having trouble recognizing what in your own work CAN be cut, try implementing the above strategies in different places - cut things, and then re-read, and see how it works, and if it works at all. Sometimes, you’ll realize...you didn’t need any of what you cut. Other times, you’ll realize...it no longer feels like the story you were trying to tell. Fiddle with it until you figure out what you need for it to still feel like your story, and practice that kind of cutting until you get better at recognizing what can and can’t go without having to do as much tweaking.

Lastly...along the lines of the previous...understand that sometimes, cutting your story down to a certain word count will just be impossible. Some stories simply can’t be made very short, and others simply can’t be told at length. If you’re really struggling, it’s important to consider that your story just...isn’t going to work at that word count. And that’s okay. Go back to the drawing board, and try again - you’ll also get better at learning what stories you can tell, in your style, using your own writing voice, at different word counts. It’s not something you’ll just know how to do - that kind of estimating is a skill, just like all other writing abilities.

As with all our writing advice - there’s no one way to tackle cutting stories for length, and also, which of these strategies is most appropriate will depend on what kind of story you’re writing, how much over-length it is, what your target market is, your characters, and your personal writing style. Try different ones, and see which work for you - the most important aspect is to learn to read your own writing critically enough that you are able to recognize what you can cut, and then from that standpoint, use your expertise to decide what you should cut, which is definitely not always the same thing. Lots of details can be cut - but a story with all of the flavor and individuality removed should never be your goal.

Contributions to this post were made by @unforth, @jhoomwrites, @alecjmarsh, @shealynn88, @foxymoley, @willablythe, and @owlishintergalactic, and their input has been used with their knowledge and explicit permission. Thanks, everyone, for helping us consider different ways to shorten stories!

[sagemoderocklee]

...and that's another year of writing done!

Happy New Year's, everyone! Can't believe we've gone through yet another year of a pandemic (despite what government's around the world tell us about it being over).

This year was a strange one. The later half of the year feels like such a haze for me, days bleeding together, much like they did in 2020. Why? Because, after two years of being as safe as possible, I caught Covid. And not only did I catch Covid in early May, I was one of the lucky ones to get Long Haul Covid, and with that I have spent the last half of 2022 on a medical leave.

It's been a difficult year for me. There are very few things about 2022 that went according to plan--between catching Covid and simply not having the money, my plans to move to Ireland at the end of this summer didn't happen, and while the plan is to postpone my move, to when is still to be decided. I have also let my sewing and portfolio building fall to the wayside, largely--again--because of my health.

However, there are some things to be happy about and this post is my chance to look back and celebrate my writing victories.

sagemoderocklee's 2022 Fic Wrap

Absolution: Part IV (WiP)

While the goal had been to end the year with another update, tragically it was not in the cards. My health being what it is and my focus being on completing other projects, and Absolution being the huge piece it is, I felt it made more sense not to try pushing out Part V. However, I am very happy I was able to start the year with an Absolution update as this fic is very much one of my faves. The fourth part of this fic was a bit of a challenge to write, especially in the middle, but I finally hit on the beats I really needed. A big complication with Absolution was that the remaining 6 chapters, which I had fully planned and plotted, needed tweaking... which is to say Absolution needed to be longer. So I had to move all the plotting I had from Part IV on and rebuild and entirely rewrite each chapter/scene-by-scene breakdown. I'm pretty solid at the moment with Parts V through VIII in terms of plotting, and now I think I can safely say this fic will be a total of 13 chapters (the last one being an epilogue), but that could change since I still have to finish all the restructuring. I know all the key beats and the end goal, but sorting out the getting from one point to the next is really the big issue. However, all that being said, I do want to start the new year with Absolution, so that will be my top priority for January!

Pomegranate Sun: Ch1 (WiP) Co-authoring with @ghoste-catte

The first chapter of this fic I started writing a couple years ago, sometime after I got the prologue from @ghoste-catte. And then, of course, I stopped and didn't touch it again for... ages. But with the Naruto-Run last December and @ghoste-catte wanting to have a special fic for the big milestone of 100 GaaLee fics, it was time to work on this baby again. It is absolutely no surprise that when I get to worldbuild I'm in my comfort zone, so even though it took a while, once I got into working on this (while sick with covid, no less) I was happy. And this is going to be such a fresh piece of worldbuilding since we're bringing in OCs from the far west of Wind Country!

Plus One (COMPLETE)

So, I signed up for a bingo challenge and ended up writing a slightly spicy one-shot. Certainly not the spiciest thing in the world, but I very much enjoy writing flirty!Gaara. I have a LOT of feelings about the way fandom and even the canon blank period treats him surrounding sex/sexuality, and it's really informed a lot of how I view and approach Gaara as a gay male character. This wasn't like a huge piece (though I have an even sexier sequel planned), but it was so much fun.

It Eats Your Heart: Ch2 (WiP)

Chapter 2 of IEYH took me about a year to write. I was struggling. It gave me writer's block. It made me wanna throw my computer. My roommate helped me workshop it a bit. And it still took me forever to finish it. Then finally--FINALLY--I hit on what was missing. This chapter was a fucking bitch, but gotdamn was it worth it. I'm so happy with how this turned out and I'm so looking forward to finishing this fic in the new year.

Pearl-Filled Lungs: II, III, IV, Epilogue (COMPLETE)

My beloved enemy. This fic sat for three years, untouched and miserable. I'd started chapter two... last year? The year before? I don't remember, and it languished. I think it was just the first scene--maybe just part of the first scene. But god it was a struggle. I signed up for the WiP BB last year, but dropped. Signed up again this year and... committed. Largely because of the artist who, though unable to complete art for this fic, was such a huge inspiration. The WIPs they sent me... I wish I could share them because they were stunning. When they were unable to continue, I really thought I'd give up, but once again @ghoste-catte inspired me to continue, thanks to their generous offer to make banners for my fic--and the banners are truly such a work of art! And someone... I got through this fic. I think my original vision comes through, despite how much I bitched and moaned during the process. I wanted to write a fairy tale, and I did. And honestly, I am happy with P-FL. It's not my most popular fic, by any means, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.

My Home is Your Home: Ch1 (WiP)

And here we have a fic that was meant to be a one-shot. I was gonna try and get this done in under 10.5k for an event challenge, but then I talked with my roommate and... they looked at me like 'bitch who the fuck do you think you are' and you know what, they were right. I was foolin myself. This fic wasn't a one-shot. I'd come up with an idea for something much bigger than a one-shot, and I'm glad I listened to them. So instead of an event challenge, I reworked everything and turned this into a fic for the @puregaalee Horror Fest, and I am sooooo excited that I did. Paranormal Romance isn't a genre I've dabbled in, and I'm stoked to try weaving the horror genre with RomCom elements. This fic not only ended up being a much bigger piece than I'd intended, but it also has a planned sequel! Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't add more WiPs to my docket than I subtract.

Blood on the Branches: Ch1 (WiP)

Talk about a fic that was pulled out of my ass at THEE last minute. For Horror Fest, I was struggling to come up with an idea. I knew what prompts I was vibin with, but damn I couldn't think of a single thing. And then one night, laying in bed I came up with an idea.... An entirely different idea from this because with only days left to finish, I scrapped everything I had (and by scrapped, I mean moved to a different document) and came up with something completely new! And so instead of straight horror, I leaned into what I'm good at and now I have a horror/adventure story! While the original concept for this fic is good, I am way more excited about this! Once again, taking my worldbuilding to new heights as we leave Suna and head to the south of Wind! I don't know exactly when I'll be able to get the next chapter out, and I really need to sit down and plot this in full, but I am so excited to write this story!

The Corn Maze House (COMPLETE)

Well, it was a bit of a slog towards the mid-point, but I got through it. I honestly worried I wouldn't, but in the end I'm really glad I didn't give up or give in to feeling negatively about the writing process for this piece. I'm not fully happy with it, but I am happy it's done. The premise for this fic, in my entirely unbiased opinion, is very good, even if I'm still not sure of the execution. I may end up going back over this fic in the future, but regardless I'm happy to have a completed horror fic under my belt, and also to not be adding another WiP to my roster. Definitely very light on the GaaLee, despite being an established relationship, but that was kind of how it had to be, so I'm sure this won't be like a crazy popular fic, necessarily. But I still think this was good practice with the horror genre.

Return to Sender: Ch1-11 (COMPLETE)

Talk about a fic I never expected. RtS was meant to be a simple, cute lil RomCom. A dash of miscommunication, a whole lot of comedy of errors, and just a smidge of drama... The ask prompt that started this definitely did not make any indication that I needed to write a 90k+ drama about homophobia in the shinobi world or about the mistakes you make when you're terrified of losing someone important to you. But I simply am the person I am, and I am the writer I am. This was the direction that felt right, and honestly, I'm so glad because I am so happy with how this story turned out and the reception this fic has received is truly astronomical. I dove into it following completing chapter 1 of PomSun and in between working on P-FL because P-FL was the struggle it was. RtS gave me a much needed break and the first three and a half chapters were such a breath of fresh air. When I say those first three chapters were a breeze to write, I mean I think it took me less than a week to write them. This was (sort of) the first time in over a decade I've had a fully completed multi-chapter fic that I can post on a schedule, and GOD it felt so good to just post chapters weekly. RtS Sundays were the highlight of my week, and even though towards the end there were a lot of complications, it was truly such a joy and has made me want to work harder to get fics done before posting. Also! Not only did I have a ball writing this fic, but I also had a lot of fun making the images that I included in it and the soundtrack to go with it. While some of the images are... less exciting than others, this fic just felt like the perfect opportunity to do some mixed media stuff, and I do really enjoy making soundtracks for fics. I have to say, though I love so many of my fics, RtS will now have a very special place in my heart. The reception, surpassing 1million with it, and just the way it all fell into place... I am truly so filled with joy by how this fic went.

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Total WiPs at the start of 2022: 16 Total completed works: 4 Total new works: 5 Total updates: 21 Total new words: 186,296 Total words (Ao3): 1,011,369 (-2,521 PomSun = 1,008,848) Total WiPs at the end of 2022: 17

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2022 Resolutions

The difference between this year's writing and last year's is kinda wild ngl. All that time on medical leave and not sewing really gave me a lot of time to write, (though I do wish I'd been healthy enough to sew more). Looking back at my writing resolutions from the start of the year to now, I can definitely say I'm proud of what I've accomplished, even if it seems like I didn't reach that many resolutions. The two biggest resolutions (1million words and finishing P-FL) were reached, and honestly hitting those two goals was the greatest accomplishment of the year.

So, while most of what I'd had planned for this year was updating fics from last year's Naruto-Run to 1K which didn't happen, I still think this year was a success!

Reach 1million words--168,358 words to go!✅So, the math I did at the end of last year for how many words I needed was actually wrong. I needed closer to 178k, but despite this minor math mishap, I not only reached 1 million words, I surpassed it! I have been trying to hit this overall word count for the past three or so years, and I am utterly shocked, amazed, and proud of myself for making it happen this year! Admittedly, I think this goal was reached because I ended up getting long covid and have spent June through the end of the year out of work and home. Still, this is by no means a small feat, especially given the number of words I needed to reach this year while also being disabled by covid. Long haul is no joke and the brain fog--ohhhh lemme tell you! that shit got me so fucked up, so managing to power through and find joy in writing in spite of that struggle was really important. Writing was one of the few real joys I had in my days these past months, and I could not be more thrilled to finally say I've surpassed 1 million words. Truly, I owe most of that to RtS, the most unexpected fic of 2022.

Write the sequel to Flyweight Love❌Not Reached. Part of me was sure I'd get this done at the end of the year, following Horror Fest, but RtS became priority #1 instead, so HB3 will be on the docket for next year!

Finish IEYH❌Not Reached. While I didn't reach this goal, I did manage to update this fic, finally. Chapter two was a difficult journey and actually caused a lot of writer's block for me between the end of last year-early this year, so while I didn't finish this fic I did still make progress and for that I am very happy. My hope is to accomplish this goal in the new year now!

Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs✅REACHED! This is a pretty big one because it's been hanging over me for... long time. Three years, in fact. But I signed up for the WiP Big Bang and managed to actually get all four chapters written, edited, and published! It always feels like such a relief to be able to cross something completely off my list, but especially something that's been weighing on me the way P-FL was. In many ways, I wasn't happy with the journey, but I am happy with the end of it. I think P-FL is a lot better than I give it credit for, so I am really proud of it and proud that I got this finished.

Finish The Passing of Things❌Not Reached. I was actually really hoping to get this done, so I'm going to make this a goal for next year!

Update Absolution (Ch 4-6)✅❌❌Partially fulfilled. While I did not get three updates in for Absolution, I still got one so that's a partial win for me!

Update TAoL (Ch12)❌Not Reached. Sadly, this update was not in the cards for me this year, which is truly a tragedy for me because it's been two years since the last time I updated. But unfortunately, this next chapter has a lot of issues that need fixing, so getting through has not been easy. However, it is a top priority in the new year!

Update TBotDatP aka the Ballad❌Not Reached. Another fic I was hoping to update, but alas, not this year. But the first chapter is very much underway, so with any luck, I'll be getting a Ballad update out in short order!

Update WNNBYT aka the Hanahaki fic❌Not Reached. While this is a fic I'm excited to work on, it has lost priority in favor of other fics. Maybe next year, but I don't want to make it a resolution since I have fics I'd rather focus on over this.

Update Pomegranate Sun (Ch1)✅ Reached! Amazingly, I was able to get chapter one of this fic out, though it did take a while. However, I'm very proud of how that first chapter turned out and excited to continue this fic with @ghoste-catte in the new year!

Update 13S❌Not Reached. I did get a good chunk of the next update for this worked on, but tragically the amount of worldbuilding needed for this chapter put a wrench in my plans to move forward. However, the worldbuilding has been done in large part, so I am looking forward to getting this fic updated next year!

Edit Alliance❌Not reached. In general, Allied Nations has not been on my mind or at the top of my list. I think, more than likely it won't be until I get TAoL finished, as that's a similarly huge project, even as a stand alone story.

Update Honor Bound❌Not reached. Similar to the above. And while I do have the first three chapters written, I don't want to dive into posting any more chapters of this fic until I've edited Alliance and made the changes to it I know are needed.

Resolutions Reached✅: 3.5 Resolutions Not Reached❌: 9.5

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2023 Resolutions

With 2022 at an end and a lot more writing done than I expected, I'm hoping to carry that energy into 2023, regardless of other things. I do hope to move to Ireland and get back into sewing regularly, but as my health has changed much of my life, I'm also anticipating more time at home as I shift into working from home. So with that, I hope I also find more time and energy to focus on writing.

This is a lot, and I do not expect to get all of this done, but the goal is to get as much of it done as I can. I have a lot of motivation, so here's to a successful writing year in 2023!

Complete IEYH

Complete Absolution

Complete MHiYH

Complete TPoT

Update 13S (3-6)

Update TAoL (12-15)

Update PomSun (Ch3)

Update TBotDatP aka The Ballad (Ch-4)

Update TEA (Ch1)

Update TCoS (Ch1)

Update BotB (Ch2)

Publish the sequel to Flyweight Love, HB3

Publish The Beautiful Beast of Cāngdì (Ch1)

Publish A Cat's Guide to Finding Love

Complete at least three more MFBingo squares

[emblemxeno]

JP vs. Localization in Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest

Again, here’s a link to my sources post.

This post isn’t as long as the Birthright one. The reason why is because I think the localization of Conquest is actually really well done for the most part! 

Localization as a process is a complicated field. For starters, a direct translation almost never works; even beyond how the languages are built/written differently, people from every culture speak and carry themselves distinctly. What’s normal to say here, wouldn’t be the same in any other place.

The best localizations make sure to 1) communicate the same information present in the source material while 2) making proper re-writes so the dialogue will be comfortable/easy to read for the audience that speaks the respective language. Conquest’s localization does this process pretty well.

Birthright’s localization fumbled because it failed the first part: it doesn’t communicate all of the proper information. It suffered from lots of plot/narrative cuts, character alteration, dialogue replacement/removal and, to be blunt, half-assed line rewrites. Sure, it’s perfectly easy to read as an English speaker, and the main thrust of what the route wants to tell us is still there, but what we’re reading is still of lower quality compared to the source material since the localization is missing that much stuff.

Conquest didn’t have nearly as many of the same issues as Birthright did in that regard. I give credit where credit is due, Treehouse did a much better job with this route. Though it does beg the question what the hell happened to make the localization quality of these two routes so starkly different. It’s really confusing. And this is before I even get to Revelation.

However, there are still quite a few things to point out, with one of the major issues being in regards to how Xander was handled, to the shock of absolutely no one lol.

But no matter my own opinion, I encourage y’all to form your own, too. Be it by going through the sources yourselves, or asking me about stuff you’re curious about (try not to flood the inbox though lol).

Once again, the main part of this post will all be put under the cut. If a chapter isn’t covered, it means I didn’t think there were any differences worth talking about.

I’ll use localized names for characters and locations, unless I feel the need to do otherwise.

I’ll be using she/her when referring to Corrin in this post.

Chapter 7

-Welcome to Round 1 of “Xander Never Said That”!  

So, I’ve already argued many times before that Xander as he’s written originally was never the type to go against Garon, be it through not fulfilling his orders or even talking badly about him; all of this is because of his entrenched way of thinking as a result of being afraid of his father.

Treehouse however, did change many of his lines to have him openly defy Garon, even when it doesn’t make any sense. (Though they didn’t do that to all of his lines, cuz that would require reworking the entire story, so Xander just ends up looking like a wishy-washy mess)

In localization, when ordered to kill Corrin upon her return to Nohr, Xander says “I won't do it! I'm sorry, father.” In the JP version, he doesn’t say anything, he only expresses a non-verbal hesitation.

This may seem petty and trivial to point out, but it’s the start of a much bigger issue.

-In the localization, when Xander starts expressing to Garon how asking Corrin to suppress the Ice Tribe rebellion by herself is impossible, Garon responds by saying “If that is so, then kill her now. I will not tolerate insolence.” In the JP version, as Xander is talking, Garon interrupts him and says “I won’t have you talking back to me.” 

This is one of many instances where I think Treehouse made Garon too harsh/unambiguously evil. From his tone and the line changes, he just reads as a much worse person, whereas in the JP version, you can at least make somewhat of an argument that he’s just being cold-blooded and exceedingly strict to his children. Still not a good person, but not a total monster yet either. However, I will say this is actually mostly a problem in Birthright as opposed to Conquest, since Garon acting like a cartoonish villain was one of Birthright’s many localization problems.

-Not even at a new chapter yet, and already we’re at Round 2 of “Xander Never Said That!” 

In localization, when overhearing Garon’s ramblings, Xander says “...So it is true. I should have known. Father only wishes to make Corrin suffer... in that case, I know what I must do.” 

In the JP version he says, “…… Father… No way, was that decree just now all for the sake of tormenting Corrin? If that’s the case… I too have a plan.”

The localized line makes him seem aware of his father being evil, but the JP version continues to have him in disbelief and denial, as he was originally written to be.

Chapter 9

- “Xander Never Said That!” Round 3. 

As Garon is contemplating if he should punish Corrin for disobeying his previous order of quelling the rebellion alone, both Elise and Xander offer themselves to be punished in her place. In localization, Xander eventually says “Father, kill me or kill no one. That is all there is to it.” In the JP version, this line doesn’t exist, Xander just remains silent instead. 

-In localization, Azura says people with connections to Nohr were banished from Hoshido (or at least she was). In the JP version, she says that people in Hoshido with connections to Nohr were being eliminated. Yikes.

Chapter 10

-This is more of an all-encompassing nitpick I have, though one that I think might be controversial. The localization kind of exaggerates the bad things Hoshidans say about Nohr. 

As an example, I wanted to make a mention to Takumi’s pre-battle line where he says “So they plan to fight us, do they? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Nohrians aren't like normal, decent people. They live for the thrill of battle. All the better. I shall delight in putting those cowards in their place.” 

I think that line is hilarious and overly dramatic. It’s the same with his boss quote against Corrin, where in the middle he says “My suspicions must be accurate. Nohrians don’t have souls.” Of course, these lines are different/less hammy in the JP version. Whether or not these kind of dramatic insults added in the localization are a good or bad change comes down to personal preference IMO.

Chapter 14

-In the localization, during his post battle explanation to Corrin, Garon says “You finally understand, though you still fight it. I desire only to rule Hoshido. I, and those who follow me, will do whatever it takes to achieve that. I don't care if the peons that fill our towns don’t trust us. They are nothing to me. Those who disobey will die. The rest will quickly learn.”

In the JP version he says,  “Ah. My desire is to rule Hoshido. The means used to grant that wish don’t matter. Something as trivial as distrust isn’t significant. Everyone who goes against us will be killed.” So he doesn’t call his own people peons or say they mean nothing to him in the JP script. It’s another instance of Garon made to be more harsh/evil in localization than he already was in the original script.

Chapter 15

-In the localization, when following Azura, Corrin says “That's weird... Where did she go? Into the forest, maybe...? Th-that song! It’s just like the one that performer sang in Nestra. The one that cursed Father... The mysterious singer and Azura... Could they be the same person? N-no, it can't be. That's insane. I need to find Azura right now. There she is... Azura!”

In the JP version, Corrin says “Hmm… Where is Azura. I think she went into this forest, but… Eh…? That song… it’s similar to the one the songstress sang… Could it be… was the identity of the songstress Azura? Quickly, I must find her quickly! …There she is! Azura…”

Localization Corrin denies the possibility that Azura was the singer, while the JP version doesn’t. It’s a small change, but significant nonetheless. 

-In the localization, after Gunter explains how he met Azura in Valla, Azura says “When I felt lost and lonely in Hoshido, I often found my way here.” In the JP version, she says “After I was chased out of Hoshido… Wanting some sort of clue and some peace, I visited this place many times.” JP version makes it clear that it was after Corrin’s choice that she found Gunter, whereas localization gives no clear time frame.

-In the localization, when Azura asks Corrin if she’s prepared to conquer Hoshido for the plan to expose King Garon, Corrin says “...My happiness is a small price to pay for the good of the whole world. I will continue to fight for Nohr and follow my father's every command. If I must sacrifice my soul and walk the path of evil to end this war, so be it. Even if no one understands why I'm doing this... Even if they grow to hate me...”

Everything Corrin says is pretty much the same as what she said in the JP version except that first line,  “...My happiness is a small price to pay for the good of the whole world. “ That line does not exist in the JP version. I never liked that line in the first place, as it makes it seem like the only price that’s being paid is Corrin’s happiness, when that’s obviously not the case. Learning that it wasn’t in the original script is a relief.

Chapter 16

-”Xander Never Said That!” Round 4.

In the localization, while recounting his memories of Azura, Xander eventually says “Those who loved Queen Katerina were not happy about Queen Arete or her daughter. Camilla and I...and later Leo...were told not to associate with Azura because of this. I suppose Father wanted to protect the strength of his legacy or some nonsense.”

That last line, “I suppose Father wanted to protect the strength of his legacy or some nonsense” is not in the JP version at all. Not only would Xander not bad mouth Garon like that at this point of the game, the line also makes no sense. Garon was never the one who mistreated Arete and Azura or told his kids to stay away, it was the concubines and aristocrats.

-In the localization, Azura says Shura needs to be punished for what he did. In the JP version, she says they obviously need to be cautious around him after what he did. A minor nitpick.

-In the JP version, as Shura’s explaining himself, he eventually says “Someday, if a war started, I’d be able to take revenge on Fuuma (Mokushu). So… I thought kidnapping a Nohr princess was a good way to start one.” This line about him hoping to incite a war by kidnapping Azura is cut completely in the localization.

Chapter 17

-In localization, after the battle Saizo expresses confusion over Nohr’s army showing mercy, to which Corrin says “Then perhaps you don't know us as well as you believe you do. We Nohrians aren't all the same. Just as all ninja aren't as vile as Kotaro.” This line isn’t in the JP version (Corrin remains silent instead) but it’s one of few instances where I think the localization addition was nice.

Chapter 24 (Yeah, there wasn’t any issues I had or major differences that I thought were worth mentioning for seven chapters. Crazy, huh?)

-”Xander Never Said That!” Round 5

I’ve talked about this before in my previous posts about Xander, but this one really does bear repeating. His speech about justice in localization is much longer.

Here’s what he says in the JP version: 

Xander: “…Things like justice do not exist. This is war. In this world, there is no right or wrong way of being. There is only… ambition and desire. Moreover, it is what is expected. You would do well to remember that.”

Here’s what he says in localization:

Xander: “Little princess... The sad truth is that justice is an illusion. A child's fairy tale. There is no light path that always leads to good, nor dark path that leads to evil. To believe that—to see the world in black and white—is missing half the picture. All that matters are the choices we make—especially the hard ones. […] Letting innocents die is a tragedy, but so is letting the chance for peace slip away. This is war. There is no such thing as a clean win when lives are on the line. Instead of clinging to a false sense of justice, hold strong to something true... The desire to do what you know is right and to protect the ones you love... And the ambition to see your vision of a peaceful future through to the end. If we allow evil men to let their vision take precedence over our own, we all lose. Remember that, and find solace in it.” 

Yeah. Insane difference. Localization goes more in depth on what he means, but a longer speech potentially means more opportunities to poke holes in it. Take this as you will.

Chapter 26

-In the JP version, when Corrin says there’s one more person left to defeat Xander says “What…!? Is our opponent the one who escaped earlier…Princess Hinoka?” Xander thinking that it might be Hinoka was cut out of localization.

-In the JP version, Xander actually asks if Corrin’s intending to double cross them when she says King Garon is the final obstacle. Corrin even responds saying “No, I’m not betraying you to join Hoshido. …Even if I did defect, Hoshido doesn’t have a chance of victory now.” This part of the exchange was cut in localization.

Chapter 27

-”Xander Never Said That!” Round 6

The exchange before the party enters the throne room to expose Garon reads mostly the same, but what Xander says is fairly different between versions.

Here’s what he says in the JP version:

Xander: “…I understand. This whole time, you have led us in this war. So…I believe you. In your words. But, if what you say turns out to be a lie… It will be concluded that you betrayed us, and the entire army will turn against you, as an enemy. I just want you to be prepared.”

Here’s what he says in the localization:

Xander: “Hmm... So be it, Corrin. You have led us this far. The least we can do is follow you just a little farther. I am choosing to trust you, Sister. However, you know what will happen if this all turns out to be an elaborate ruse. If you mean to trap us, your siblings who have loved you all these years... You will be punished, just like any other traitor. I will not allow anyone, even you, to bring harm to my family or the kingdom of Nohr. If you can accept those terms, as I trust you will, let us proceed.”

Honestly, on the whole, the general point is the same. But the word choice in the localization would probably make it easier to get peeved at Xander; especially the line where he says ‘if you mean to trap the siblings who loved you all these years’, since it’s easy to read it as really guilt trippy. I personally never saw it that way, but since this is one of the scenes that get pointed at for Xander being “stupid and blindly loyal to his evil dad”, I think it’s worth mentioning.

-Minor line change. When Leo and Camilla say it’s hard for them to just accept that Garon is a monster and fight him, Azura in localization says “You can't be serious! Don't you see what he has become?!” In the JP version, she says  “ そんな…” (Son'na…) which I believe is most commonly used as an expression of disbelief. Localization kind of made Azura’s line a bit too harsh, IMO. Minor nitpick.

-”Xander Never Said That!” Round 7

This one is not as much of a problem than previous ones, but it’s in regards to a crucial understanding of Xander’s character.

Here’s part of Xander’s speech against Monster Garon in localization:

Xander: “It is you who knows nothing! Of my father, of me, or of my brother/sister here. All this time, I have strived to be a good son and a worthy heir. I have faithfully followed your orders, even when doing so tortured my soul. I brushed aside my early memories of Father and accepted you as our king. I fought in your name, hoping one day you would reawaken as the man you once were. But that man is dead and has been for a long time now...”

Here’s the JP version equivalent:

Xander: “You bastard, what do you understand of Father…! …All this time, I had to pretend not to see. I never disobeyed any order. Someday, everything would go back to the way it used to be… I fought believing that. But, the father of those days is already…”

Localization not only kind of embellishes things a bit, but it also removes the line where Xander said he had to pretend to not see the truth. That line is pivotal to Xander’s character, since it proves he has been in denial this whole time, purposefully looking away from the truth because the truth was something he was afraid of. Not having that line (along with the addition of contradictory lines that I covered earlier) makes Xander more of a confusing character to read.

Endgame

-When Corrin is talking to her Hoshido family in purgatory-land, Takumi joins in. In localization, he says this:

Takumi: “Thank you, Corrin. I wonder…what it would have been like to fight on the same side as you. I always wished we could have been close, as you are with your Nohrian siblings. Right up until my last moments, I wanted so badly to call you my sister. To look up to you and love you…and never allow anything to come between us. I wish I had told you that before I died. While there was still a chance… I was just so stubborn, so hurt. I couldn’t admit those feelings even to myself. For that, I am truly sorry. I’m so sorry for letting you slip away, dear sister.”

In the JP version, he says this: 

Takumi: “Thank you. If you and I had fought together, I wonder how reassured I would have been. Corrin. The truth is, I really… I wanted to get along as siblings. I wanted to call you sister. I should have said so properly when I was still me… But because of my stubbornness, I was determined not to show my true feelings… …I’m sorry.”

It’s pretty much the same, but that very last line in the localized version “I’m so sorry for letting you slip away, dear sister”, is a line I’m iffy on. It sort of shifts responsibility from Corrin to Takumi, when it wasn’t really Takumi’s decision that affected Corrin’s choice. Just a minor nitpick. Other than that, it’s good.

-In localization, Corrin says Takumi died because of the beast possessing Takumi. In the JP version, she says Takumi died because of her and her party, that it’s the price she paid for choosing this path and that she’ll redeem herself.

-This one has been talked about many times lol. In localization, Hinoka says “I never thought it would fall to me to rule Hoshido. I always took it for granted that Ryoma would eventually be king. And after him, I suppose I expected to pass on the honor to Takumi.” In the JP version, she says “I never dreamed I’d ever take the throne. I always thought it’d be Ryoma’s coronation, or Takumi’s…”

Hoshido has a very patriarchal and traditional social system. Similar instances of women being “lower on the hierarchy”, for lack of better words, happen with Reina (whose aristocrat parents cut ties with her after she chose to be a soldier instead of a housewife) and Hana (who faced many difficulties being a girl samurai amongst boys). Kagero’s situation of only being a retainer because her brother is ill could also be interpreted as such. What makes this strange is that all of the above were kept in localization, but Hinoka expecting to be passed over on being ruler in favor of Takumi was changed to her planning to just give him the crown, like Camilla did for Leo.

-Xander’s speech in the last animated cutscene is actually quite different between versions. In the localization, he says this:

Xander: “You’re just in time. You’ve always had a gift for that. No doubt you always will. There was no sense in this war, only madness and greed. War is monstrous. We are told to make war to support our country. But…it’s a lie. Told by those who profit from bloodshed. In my reign as Nohr’s new king, I vow to seek peace and understanding. With you to guide my hand.”

In the JP version, he says: 

Xander: “You’re all just as boisterous as usual. Just like back then… It’s certainly the same now. There was no justice in the previous battles. No, whether or not there was justice is not for me to say. Justice… is a fragile thing, that changes depending on how you look at it. But, at the very least… As king I will maintain the justice I believe in. The one who taught me the importance of that, was you.”

Very, very different. I won’t count this as a “Xander Never Said That!” since there’s merit in both versions of the speech, and because the cutscene was made with the JP dub in mind, so trying to match it perfectly for the English speaking audience is almost impossible.

[writingtoforgetreality]

New World Order - TFATWS Rewrite Chapter One (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist], [TFATWS Rewrite-Masterlist]

Next Chapter

Summary: You were an Avenger. That was how the world viewed you. Nobody else knew about your past & it was for the better. After all, you had Sam. You had Bucky. That had to be enough. At least for now.

Words: 6,214

Warnings: language, sarcasm, expect some sort of slow burn, there are hints already, this is a Bucky fic, which means that it'll focus on his scenes more, spoilers for TFATWS, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were no superhero. At least, you would never say you were one. Your past was filled with actions you regretted. None of it was your fault. It was not your decision to be the child of the leader of a HYDRA base. It was not your decision to grow up like a warrior. Fighting. Killing.

Your father was the bad guy. You knew that now. As a child, you did not see through his facade. How could you? He was your dad. Someone who was supposed to love you endlessly. Those years had shaped you. Into the person you were today.

Deep down, you wished there was a way to make you forget. Forget about your past. Forget about the pain. Forget about it all. Hell, you were a laboratory experiment. Those powers did not come from nowhere. No. They came from tons of needles, pumping a toxic serum into you veins. You should not even be alive anymore. Not by what now flowed through your body. Apparently, it was for your own good. That was how your dad put it. Absolute bullshit. Growing up isolated from the world, being trained to fight, to kill, daily. Your own good my ass. If it did one thing, then it ruined your damn life.

But at least you had powers, right? Blue flames you could control. Those blue flames that were hotter than anything else in this world. It took an awful lot of time to fully have control. Truthfully, you hated that part of you with every fiber of your being. It had been the cause of one too many deaths. You had been the cause. But weakness was not in your nature. If you did not show strength you would be a disappointment. Something you really did not want to be.

Bucky was the reason you got out of this life. He was the one to rescue you out of this hell hole. He was the one to show you an entirely different part of this world. And for that, you could never thank him enough. If it were not for Bucky, you would have gone insane ages ago. Who knew if you were still here today?

The Avengers were aware of your past. Of you being a part of HYDRA back in the days. Yet, you had never elaborated this any further. If there was one thing you were good at, it was keeping things to yourself. No need to burden others with your struggles. And you did struggle. Every single day. Because your mind was filled with memories. Memories you had tried to burn. Memories you wanted to erase. Memories of you being the bad guy. Just like your dad had been.

Your life changed when you were introduced to the Avengers. They did not trust you. Not right away. But during the fight with Thanos, the one after the Blip, you proved yourself to be worthy of their trust. Especially Steve. He had been there for you. When everyone else failed to believe in you. He was gone now. And it hurt like hell. Giving up was never an option. And the universe did not plan on giving you a break anytime soon. For now, you had to bury your feelings as deep as possible. Your focus should solely be on the new threats of this world. Threats, that seemed to increase daily.

“Bucky is an asshole.” you were on the phone with Sam & the fact that the super soldier had been ignoring him for a while did not leave a good feeling inside his chest.

“What a revelation.” sarcastic comments were part of your life. It was your way of coping with everything. Frankly, it worked. More or less. “Give him some time.”

“More time? No.” sighing loudly. “I have other things to focus on.” he was referring to the mission he was about to perform.

“You sure you’ll be fine on your own?” it was not like you did not believe in his abilities. Just, life had not been the same ever since billions of people came back.

“When have I ever not been?” you could think of a few times but Sam ended the call before you even had the chance to answer. Typical.

Luckily, Sam usually told you about his missions. And you were proud of him. You really were. The situation you found yourself in? With Bucky & him? Well, it was everything but good. Bucky called you. You called Sam. Sam called you. You called Bucky. A circle you kept alive. And it sucked to be their only way of communication. For now, though, both of them were too stubborn to change anything about it.

“Enjoying the Tunisian sun I hope?” whenever Sam went on a mission, you had him call you after it. Simply because he knew you worried.

“You know it.” in the far background you could hear him working on something.

“Is everyone alright? That trainee of yours? What’s his name again?”

“Torres.” he sighed, frustrated by your question. You had asked him about a million times & apparently, you still had no clue. Truth was, you just liked messing with him. “Redwing is hurt.”

“Naaaw, poor baby.” giggling slightly. That man cared more for a piece of tech than he should.

“Shut up.” okay, better not mess with Wilson if it came to Redwing. Got it.

“When are you coming back?” your voice turned serious again. Having him gone for so long did not stick right with you. Obviously, you knew he was doing it for the greater good. But still. “I swear to all the Gods, if you say when we’re done here…” mumbling quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“When we’re finished here.” a chuckle could be heard from his side. By the way it sounded, you assumed Torres was laughing as well. Rolling your eyes at his antics. He could be such a child sometimes.

“Oh, fuck off, Wilson.”

“Hey, language!” Sam had fun. Yeah, you were the one cracking jokes all of the time but he could deliver, too.

“Okay, you know what? Bye. Text me when you’re back.” now, it was you who did not give him enough time to respond. After all, he would have clapped back with another snarky remark & you were not in the mood for it. At all.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically.” everyone chuckled at Sam’s description. Of him. Steve. Rhodey was standing right next to you. In that suit of his. The one that made him look way more approachable than you. No need for people to approach you. They did not know who you were before. And they sure as hell did not need to. It would turn things complicated. Humans did not like complicated. You did not like it. “The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we’re in. Symbols are nothing without the women & men that give them meaning. And this thing…” he paused briefly, let out a short chuckle. The shield. “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But it’s more about the man who propped it up, & he’s gone. So, today we honor Steve’s legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you.” the crowd erupted into cheers. Applause was filling the room & you felt out of place. What was he doing? When Sam asked you to join him here today, he left out the fact that he wanted to give away the shield. The shield Steve had trusted him enough to own. And the people surrounding you? They…celebrated him for it? This entire speech was proof enough that Wilson was worthy of this job. So why the hell did he make that decision? Watching the shield being put into the showcase, you could hardly hold in the tears that formed at the corners of your (Y/E/C) eyes. Rhodey nudged you, sensing that something was wrong. Head hanging low, you ignored him, walking out of the room as fast as possible. If you stayed here any longer, Sam would have bruises for sure. Bruises caused by you. You would not risk that. Though, he kind of deserved it.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Sam asked Rhodey when he finished with the press. You had told him you would wait here for him. There was no sign of you.

“Left a while ago.”

“What do you mean “Left a while ago.”? Did she say where she was heading?” why did you decide to leave? Had anything happened while he held his speech? All Rhodey could do was shrug. An explanation was not given by you. And he knew better than to ask.

“Take a walk?” Rhodey suggested, completely unaware to your weird behavior. The two of you were not that close. So he did not know you like Sam did. You were an adult, after all. If you wanted to go somewhere without asking someone first, then you were allowed to do that.

Disappointment was flooding through your body. Friends told each other stuff like that, right? So why did he keep it a secret that he planned on giving away the shield. With that action, he broke Steve’s trust & you were livid. If only Steve were here right now. You missed him. So much. Next time Sam met you, you could not promise anything. Because anger was all you felt. Anger & disappointment. Grief. But that one you could keep to yourself. At least for the time being. Shit. Bucky. One hundred percent did he watch Sam giving away the shield. Oh, he would be filled with hatred. Compared to that, you were only a small threat. Bucky was the one Wilson should keep an eye on. Well, he had been trying to get a hold of him. So far, without luck.

A gunshot blasting woke Bucky up from another night invaded by nightmares. His changed hair did not put his demons at bay. His look was different but there were some things he could never get rid of. His past. The past he dreaded as much as you did. Probably what you two had in common. Being part of HYDRA & all. His breathing was irregular & there was no way in hell he could go back to sleep. It was in the middle of the night & he hated himself for relying on someone else. But he would go insane if he did not call another person right now. If he did not call you. The only one who seemed to understand what he was going through. The only one who never judged him because of his nightmares. The only one who made him feel like he was a good person. Not the killer he once had been. When HYDRA controlled him. Back, when he was called “The Winter Soldier”. Would he ever move on from that? Grabbing his old phone, he did not overthink too long & dialed your number. One, he knew by heart. Because he had called you so many times. It stuck in his head.

“Buck? Is everything alright?” concern was present in your voice. Usually, when you got a call in the middle of the night, it was him. And you were fine with it. If he trusted you enough to help him with his demons, than you were more than happy to come to his aid. No matter the time.

“I-I…it’s just, ugh, I-“ still shaken up from his nightmare, you did not need him to finish his sentence. You had been in this exact situation so many times. You knew what he needed. Your presence. Your voice. Your comfort. You.

“I’ll be there in a few.” assuring him, you were already grabbing the stuff you needed & walked out of your apartment. Only one destination in mind. Him. “Do you need me to stay on the phone?” it was a simple question. A stupid one, too. Usually, he would not say a word until you were with him. But it felt right to ask him what he wanted you to do. Needed you to do. When he did not answer for a few moments, you guessed he only nodded, not realizing that you could not see his motions. Yet, he did not hang up. Neither did you. Your breathing was enough for him. At least until you were in his apartment.

Knocking softly, as to not wake his neighbors, the door opened almost immediately after. Squeaking ever so slightly. Taking in his appearance, you could tell that it had been a bad nightmare. No, not a nightmare. A memory. You knew that because it was the reason you woke up most nights as well. If it were not for him feeling miserable, you would have drooled by the sight of him. No shirt. Hair sticking around so beautifully. Eyes you could lose yourself in. But it was not the right timing. Besides, Bucky & you were just friends. That was it. Just friends. Though, you would lie if you said that you did not feel butterflies whenever he shot you one of his charming smiles. Whenever his body brushed against yours on accident. Yes, he did have that effect on you. Hell, that was not what he needed right now. Your feelings could be dealt with later on. Bucky was all who mattered now. There was no conversation. No words exchanged. It was enough for him if you were with him. A sign that he was not alone. That he still had you. Even after everything. Even after calling you, night after night, disturbing your own rest. Not that you got much to begin with but he did not need to know that. It had always been a mystery to him. Why you stuck around still. Though you had assured him thousands of times that you were in this for good. If he needed you, you were only one call away. And he appreciated you for it. More than he would ever like to admit. Friends. You were friends.

“So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?” another session with Dr. Raynor. Another dreaded session. It was stupid to Bucky. But there was no way out of this. He had to. Seconds of silence went by before she spoke up again. “James, I asked you a question. Are you still having nightmares?” what kind of question was that? A stupid one. That was for sure.

“No.” simple, short. Sufficient. Not for his doctor, though.

“We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying. Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?”

“No.” what an answer to move this session forward. Clearly, he was not in the mood to talk today. Not even you were able to get his mind off of things. Though, you definitely made his night easier.

“You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna…” her hand motioned stabbing. Awful action but who were you to judge? Bucky nodded with that look on his face that showed how completely done he was with this situation. Yet, she kept going. “It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare.”

“I didn’t have a nightmare.” well, it was worth a try. After taking a deep breath, she grabbed the pencil, ready to start writing into that notebook of hers again. “Oh, come on. Really? You’re gonna do the notebook thing? Why? It’s passive aggressive.” looked like the two of them were going back to the roots.

“You don’t talk. I write.” Bucky sighed at that. He knew he would not get out of this.

“Okay. Okay. I crossed a name off the list of my amends yesterday. Don’t worry. I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood. She was a HYDRA pawn for years. Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. And after HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her.”

“So, rule number one, you can’t do anything illegal.”

“All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her. And I wasn’t involved in anything else.”

“Rule number two?”

“What was rule number two?” his gaze drifting off, showing he thought about it deeply. How ironic.

“Nobody gets hurt. It’s a big one.”

“Then why isn’t it rule number one?” he did have a point there. No room left for arguing about that. “I didn’t hurt anybody. I promise.”

“And what about rule number three?” Bucky’s mouth opened, yet, nothing came out. “The whole point of making amends is to fulfil rule number three.”

“You know, you’re a cynic, Doc. Of course, I completed rule number three. I am James Bucky Barnes & you’re part of my efforts to make amends.” words followed by that smile of his. That smile everyone could tell was fake. Almost creepy. But efforts, right? It was all about the efforts.

“So, you did it all right, but it didn’t help with the nightmares.”

“Well, like I said, I didn’t have any.” Bucky Barnes, everyone. Still trying to fool his doctor.

“Look, one day, you’re gonna have to open up & understand that some people really do want to help you & that they can be trusted. People like (Y/N).” the mention of your name made his eyes snap up.

“I trust more people than her.” it sounded more like he tried to convince himself more than anyone else.

“Yeah? Give me your phone.” an order. Grabbing it out of his pocket to hand it over. A short look was enough. “You don’t have ten phone numbers on this thing. Oh, & you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam. Look, you gotta nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad…Oh, that’s not right. You called (Y/N) last night. Anything you wanna tell me about that?” closing the flip phone, she threw it over to Bucky which he caught with ease.

“What? Do I need to justify calling a friend?” chuckling & shaking his head slightly, he brushed his hands over his thighs.

“If you call that friend at 3 am, then yes. Because you should sleep at that time. Except if you had a nightmare which you claimed that you didn’t.”

“We just talked. That’s all.” he thought that brushing it off as if it were nothing was enough to get her to shut up. Hell, he had brought you up during his sessions way too many times. After all, he still wanted the situation between you guys to be subtle.

“You’re alone.”

“A minute ago, you said I had (Y/N).” he tried arguing but his attempts failed.

“You’re a hundred years old. You have no history, no family…” right, pouring salt in the wounds. That usually worked.

“Are you lashing out at me, Doc? Because that’s really unprofessional, you know? When did that start? Yelling at your clients?” she seemed to have enough & again went for the little book next to her. “Oh, the notebook. That’s great.” sighing deeply, he braced himself to take her more seriously. “All right, give me a break. I’m trying, okay? This isn’t…This is new for me. I didn’t have a moment to deal with anything, you know? I had a little…calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years.”

“So, now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?” he had an answer in mind right away. Never ever would he say it out loud. It took him a second to reply. Because what he was about to say came in union with his first thought.

“Peace.”

“That is utter bullshit.” what a nice way to bad talk his answer. Maybe she was expecting something else from him. Maybe she knew the answer just as much as he did. The real answer.

“You’re a terrible shrink.”

“I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies, & I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone…”

“Which I’m not because I have (Y/N).”

“…that is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape. Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back, you are being pardoned. I mean, these are good things. You’re free.”

“To do what?”

Wednesday. Bucky usually went to Izzy. Today, he asked you to join him & Yori. Why he wanted you there with them? No clue. But it was not often he asked you to go somewhere with him so you agreed on meeting them there.

“Take a look.” Yori was a cute, old man. Reading his newspaper like a good citizen. Bucky had yet to give you an explanation as to why you were here right now. But for now, you just sat next to him, quietly observing your surroundings. “Nobody made it past 90 this week.” it was funny, to see Bucky trying his hardest to sound interested. Like he understood.

“So young. Such a shame.” his words made you scoff. Apparently, once you hit the 100 mark, you turn into a sarcastic piece. If you were not one before. If you ever made it to 100? Only the Gods knew what would come after that. Most people called you a sarcastic asshole now. Could that be topped?

“You guys didn’t order the usual, huh? Feeling a little adventurous?” the woman behind the counter directed her words at the three of you.

“Um, actually, I’ve never been here before, so…” you chuckled to avoid the awkwardness that would sure as hell build if you kept quiet now.

“You should ask her out.” Yori leaned over to Bucky & you almost choked on your food at his words. Bucky asking her out? Her? Yeah, she was beautiful & all. But her? Really? Seemed like that Yori dude did not know Bucky as well as he claimed to. You, on the other hand, were aware that nothing good would come out if it. Besides, they would not even make a nice couple. Shit, were you jealous? Oh no. Glancing over at the man next to you, his face showed just how much he despised this idea. At least something.

“Mm-mmm…” shaking his head frantically, he shot you a quick look but before his eyes locked onto yours, your gaze fell down to your plate. Slightly embarrassed. Scared that, if he looked at you, he would notice something behind your look. Something more. Something, that you wanted to keep hidden. For everyone’s sake.

“He would like to take you out on a date.” oh fuck off, Yori. You had nothing against this man but he was pushing your buttons. Could he not see that Bucky was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of going on a date? With her? “Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle.” hiding your laugh behind one of your hands, you could not believe that he was serious. Bucky & bingo? Well, it was for old people so you guessed it fit quite well. Not with her, though. Oh no, you really were jealous.

“I’m really sorry about him.” Bucky apologized for his friend’s behavior. Yes, you were sorry for him, too.

“Why are you sorry?” of course, now the woman was flirting with him. It got better & better. Taking a deep breath, you tried to keep your emotions at bay. You could not lash out in the middle of this restaurant, after all. Even though you were this close to doing just that. Deep breaths, you got this. “I’m game.” sure she was.

“Wow.” really? Bucky was impressed? By this? Oh come on, why would he settle for less when he could have so, so much more. But it was not your decision. He was not yours. You did not own him. Neither did you make the decisions for him.

“Tomorrow night, then?” Yori leaned over the counter.

“Tomorrow night’s great.” she replied with a bright smile.

“Hey, I just remembered something.” you spoke up all of a sudden. Bucky’s eyes met yours now & he saw that you were uncomfortable. Though, he could not pinpoint why. “Um, I-I need to go. See you, Buck. Bye guys.” sprinting out of the restaurant, you hoped nobody would follow you. Not in the mood to deal with anyone right now. All you wanted was to be alone right now. Your mind the only one keeping you company. But your mind was not really the kindest to you. Not in this particular moment. So what? Bucky had a date. You knew that would happen sooner or later. He was a good looking man. More importantly, you just wanted him to be happy. Genuinely happy.

Fucking great. Who could you talk to? You still were not done being mad at Sam. And now you were mad at Bucky for something he did not even do. He sort of did. He could have said no. If he really did not want to, he could have said no. Bucky was enough of a man to speak his mind, you knew that. Maybe he did want to go on a date with her. What was her name again? Not that you cared too much. But still. Blinking away the tears that had formed at the corners of your eyes, you kept on walking. Without a real destination. You were stupid. Friends. Why could you not accept this? Usually, you would call Steve in such a situation. Or even Tony. But it was too late now. They were not here anymore. You had to deal with that sooner or later. Whether you liked it or not. Contemplating calling Sam, you eyed your phone carefully. One more button. But nope. The anger was bigger than the need to talk to someone. Stubborn you. Wilson could make you feel better. But you would most likely end up yelling at him. And you knew you would regret your words later on. So might as well stay silent for the time being. Until you calmed down enough.

It was 10 pm. Date time for Bucky. That same restaurant. Being the gentleman that we was, he even brought her flowers. Like it used to be back in the 40s.

“Well, if that’s not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone’s ever done.” Bucky felt lost. In her company. “Grab a seat, I’ll be done in a few.”

“Okay.” he could up & leave. It would not be too late. All he knew was that it felt wrong.

“So, have you dated much since half the fish in the sea came back?”

“Not really. I, um…tried the whole online dating thing. (Y/N), the girl who was here with me yesterday, she set up a profile for me because I didn’t understand a single thing.” laughing at the memory, he thought back to when he called you to ask you for a favor. How you laughed at him for wanting to try this whole bullshit. “It’s pretty crazy. A lot of weird pictures.”

“What kind of weird?”

���I mean, tiger photos? Half the time I don’t even know what I’m looking at. It’s…It’s a lot. When I showed (Y/N), she simply said that this was what I signed up for.”

“You sound like my dad.” definitely something a man did not want to hear while on a date. On the other hand, he did not even want this to be a date. “Wait. How old are you?

“A hundred & six.” only he could make it sound so casually. Like it was the most normal thing on this planet. Both laughed at his words. Simply because it was so absurd.

“What’s up with your big gloves?” a sensitive topic she just touched.

“I, um, have, uh…poor circulation.” sure thing.

“Hmm…Hey, what is it about this (Y/N) girl & you?” his eyes widened at her question. What was she getting at?

“She’s my friend. Why?” his dumbfounded expression made her chuckle.

“A friend, huh?”

“Um, yeah.”

“You sure about that?” an eyebrow raised. A questioning stare was sent his way.

“Why does everyone think I don’t have friends?” throwing his head back in frustration, he let out a long sigh.

“It’s not that.” she stopped briefly, thinking about her next words carefully. “Just, you guys seem pretty close.”

“Well, we’ve known each other for years.” he reasoned, gesturing with his hands to bring his point across.

“Yeah? And the looks you’re shooting each other when the other one’s not looking?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You two aren’t really subtle about this, you know?” she wiped the counter & did not even look at Bucky. He, on the other hand, started sweating.

“Subtle about what?”

“Oh, come on. Who are you kidding? I don’t even know why you’re here right now.”

“Because Yori set you & me up on a date.”

“And why did you agree?” she crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for an explanation from the man in front of her.

“I-I don’t know.” he responded truthfully. Because he thought it to be polite? Because Yori was the one who suggested it? Honestly, he was not sure.

“That’s what I thought. Look, you’re a nice guy & all but…just, listen to your heart from time to time. It’s late. You should head out. See you.” she turned around & walked further into the restaurant. Leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts. It was clear what she intended. Did not mean that it made this entire situation any easier. Bucky left without another word. Fresh air would help him think straight.

Your phone rang & you sighed when you checked who decided to annoy you. Bucky. Of course. But wait. Should he not be on his date right now? Did something go wrong? Not that you wanted it to but if you were entirely honest, you would not be mad about it either.

“Hi Buck. What’s up?”

“I need your help with something.” there was no hesitation in his voice. Just him being straight forward.

“Please don’t tell me you need help on how to get the girl.” it was your way to lighten the mood. You did that because you could tell that he was incredibly serious. Usually, this was never a good sign.

“Can I send you an address? Can you meet me there as soon as possible?” his voice was low, deep.

“Um, sure thing. But just to set things clear…I won’t join in on your fun, Buck. That’s between you & her.” again, sarcasm was your way of coping with emotions. Though, it was not the right time to use it right now. His next words were proof enough. You should not mess with him. Not in this moment.

“Can you be serious for a second?” he raised his voice a little. It was not much but it was enough to leave you confused. Bucky was not the person to yell at you. Especially not like this.

“I’m sorry…Um, yeah, tell me where & I’ll get there as fast as I can.” gulping down, you waited for him to give you more information.

Arriving at an unfamiliar building, you could make out Bucky’s form in front of it. Why would he want to meet you here? Where was his date?

“Buck?” your voice barely above a whisper. The night sky only illuminated by the moon that shone brightly. Providing just a tiny bit of light. Enough, to let you notice your surroundings.

“Thanks for coming.” you could tell that he was stressed, tough, you were not sure why.

“Is everything alright? Because I swear, if that woman did anyth-“

“No, she didn’t. Promise.” his warm smile was encouraging enough. It was clear that he was not lying to you. “Just…didn’t work out. But that’s not why you’re here.”

“Okay?”

“My last nightmare. Do you remember?” nodding for him to continue. “How I killed that innocent man?”

“It wasn’t you, Buck. You were being controlled.” touching his shoulder softly, squeezing it to reassure him.

“Whatever…That guy, it was Yori’s son. I want to, need to, apologize. Even though the apology comes way too late.” you nodded at him, your eyes meeting his briefly. Now you knew why he called you. He did not want to do this alone. No. He wanted you by his side. To support him through it. Entering the building together, Bucky led you to the apartment Yori lived in. His hand raised to knock on the door. Surprisingly, he did not waste any time. He wanted to get this over with. Understandingly so. No words were exchanged. You being here, with him, that was more than enough.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Yori opened the door, his face showed confusion by the appearance of you two. “How was the date?” you could not help but roll your eyes at the old man in front of you. Looking at Bucky, you were worried when you saw him having an internal conversation with himself. Mouth opening & closing again. No words coming out. Risking a look inside the apartment, you noticed a small picture frame with who you assumed to be his son. The one Bucky killed. No. The one the Winter Soldier killed.

“It was…It was good.” Bucky mumbled.

“Bullshit.” you followed after. None of them heard you, though. Luckily.

“Forgot I owed you for lunch.” Bucky handed him money. If you were not mistaken, this was not a form of apologizing. He had a hard time, though, that much was obvious. Afterwards, Bucky turned around & walked away without another word. Which left you alone with a confused looking Yori.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance, sir. Have a good night.” plastering on the sweetest smile you could offer, you followed Bucky outside. Jogging to keep up with the super soldier.

Back outside, you saw Bucky holding his little notebook in his hands. You knew about it. Because you were the only person he talked to when it came to his therapy sessions. A look over his shoulder could tell that his eyes were trained on the name being circled. His body was tense. That was not what he planned.

“It’s okay, Bucky.” your hand stroked over his lower back in a comforting way. Your forehead rested against his shoulder, hoping, that it would ease him a little. You could feel him calm down at your touch. “Give yourself some time.” you mumbled quietly, knowing he could hear you clearly due to the calm night. You just hoped that he would not beat himself up too much. Not more than he already did.

You were back in your own apartment. Still no words from Sam. But that was nothing new. Sometimes, he would go radio silent for a few days but after that, he would always check in with you. Maybe he figured that you were mad at him. For giving away the shield & all. And he probably was busy with work. The work he did with Torres. If he needed your help, he would call you for sure. Your TV got your attention again. Something told you to watch closely. So you did.

“Unrest, in the wake of recent events, has left us vulnerable. Every day Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense & our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.” the crowd cheered loudly & someone walked through the door. You could not believe what was happening. Please, this had to be a bad dream. When would you wake up form this hell? A man, wearing his suit, holding his shield, greeted the people. Looking at your hands, you could see small, blue sparks forming at the tips of your fingers. That only ever happened when you had no control over your emotions. Right now, you were everything but in control. Of course he had to wink at the camera like the sick person he was.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…” breathing out lowly, you put your head into your hands, completely ignoring the sparks there. You did not feel them anyway. If you ever met this son of a bitch it would not end well for him. And the next time you would meet Wilson? Fingers crossed he could deal with your angry & disappointed self. Because you were seething.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/02/2021) by Cathy

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