#basically im going faster than i thought i would. im a slow writer

[codgod]

oh yeah i decided to go with writing out the whole fic and Then publishing like a chapter every couple days or something because i can already tell this is gonna need some heavy editing, especially since i’ve never written any of these characters before and i Assume i’m gonna have a better handle on them by the end so i can go back and fix the beginning lol

[blub-blub-bish]

Zombie Kenny, but every time he dies, he comes back and slowly becoming a zombie again

A very much self indulgent, Kenny centered, zombie au idea. Aka, a long ass idea that over uses the word “which “ and “HOWEVER “

Long ass idea below cut vvv

Basically, Kenny, who can’t stay dead, got bit in the zombie apocalypse. the first time he got bit, he became a normal zombie, like usual. After around a week, he lost consciousness and ended up in the afterlife.in hell he watched his body, still roaming around on earth, and thought “ oh, this must be it. I’m dead. For good.” Not really sure if he should feel sad or happy, but he’s dead for good. Right?

WRONG.

When his body, that for some reason decompose faster than others, decomposed enough and dies, he came back a normal human. HOWEVER, his body is slowly decomposing again, which has pros and cons.

The pros:

•He’s practically immune, considering he’s like…partially a zombie already

•The zombies think he’s one of them, so now, He can walk through a zombie horde or just wander around without getting chased and shit.

•He doesn’t need much sleep. He only needed around 2 hours of sleep to last 2 days, making him a great night guard.

•Cthulhu took pity on him and decided he would respawn around his allies every time he dies.

•He’s very light, people could pick him up like those school skeleton models and just carry him around.

The cons:

•His body is literally deteriorating, which hurts like a bitch. He feels constantly like he’s slowly dying (which he is)

•Because his body deteriorates over time, at some point, his body is wayyy too weak to function. So he had to either, kill himself, or wait until the virus kill him. Which can take months.

•He usually already have to kill himself every 2 weeks. If he does it over 2 weeks, he would literally lose control over his own body.

•When he lost control over his body (over 2 weeks), he is still conscious. But like watching a movie, he can’t do anything. Just watch. That’s why when he starts to feel like he’s loosing control over his own body, he kills himself.

•After finding allies, he would ask someone he trusted to make sure to kill him if he went over the 2 weeks mark. His allies usually remind him when this happens.

•After a week , he can’t cook for others. 1, because his tongue is usually dead, so he doesn’t taste shit, and 2, because his skin starts to peel, which might fell into the food. Which sucks because my headcanon is that his love language is cooking for others.

•Speaking of food, my guy could only eats meat and chocolate.

• If he doesn’t eat for over a day, he would literally go crazy and bite any meat (human, animal, don’t matter) which would turn the thing that he bites into zombies.(if he doesn’t eat the whole thing)

• The meat and muscles in his body rots, so he smells like shit all the time :v. Mf have to practically bathe in perfume so he doesn’t smell like a corpse.

———-

Why does his body still deteriorates you may ask?

Because Im the writer and I say so./j

The somewhat more logical explanation of that is because he was still conscious for a while after he got bit, aka his body is still somewhat alive. If only the zombies ate him, he would have been able to comeback normal. But they didn’t. So now he had to live with his curse. Womp womp

“Oh, but his curse make people forget he died.” Yes. People still forget that he died. HOWEVER, they still remember that he got bit. They still remember him saying he can’t permanently die and genuinely believe him when he started to look like an actual zombie. Like, his skin starts peeling, his meat and muscles starts rotting (which he usually rips out with a knife bc it smells like shit. Ripping it out also slowed the deterioration process), and bone LITERALLY showing on his arms and legs, yet he still have control over his body.

When he kill himself, he usually comes back after 2-3 days, but if the virus kills him, aka the virus taking over, giving him around 3 very, VERY, painful months, he would come back around a month or 2 . Basically recovering mentally and physically in the afterlife.

Basically, his life sucked for the rest of his existence. Even satan and Damian took pity on him, but they can’t really do anything considering his curse is in Cthulhu’s hands.

[robinyourcreator]

Adana has gotten smooches :3c

Goth cleric's storyline is moving both faster and slower than I thought it would

Faster, in that for someone who's supposed to be so secretive, she's generally come across as not only eager but almost desperate to share more about herself.

Once the big secret of oooh im cleric of the evil mistress of the night came out, at least. speaking of that, VERY funny that one of the responses you can have for that is "...That's illegal in a lot of places, isn't it?" to which HER response is basically "What are you going to do about it? Call the cops? We're in the woods! No cops in the woods!"

Slower in that usually dnd writers make evil goddess portfolios pretty bdsm heavy and very sexual bc like three guys in the 80s were way into femdom, so while goth cleric gets dominatrix leather pajamas she's going to take things very very slow and not go on a date with you until she has poured her soul out to you 3+ times and trusts you implicitly, and then only smooches if that date then goes very well

[urbuddynova]

☆★It’s ok Y/n★ ☆

★~Here’s a story Ive been making to give an example of how I like to write! Im trying to get better at my grammar and my punctuation so I hope you enjoy! ~ ★

The morning arose like a burst of flames. The orange fiery glow of the sun emerged to greet the long strawberry blonde-haired girl. She groaned turning to the other side to not be tainted by the sun's glow. Nonetheless, she later caved in and awoke, her eyes fluttering open to reveal her light ocean-blue orbs...

She looked around her small room. It was basic but it did the trick. pictures of her favourite boy band were posted around the room, decorating the pale walls with their engrossing bright colours and teenage musicians. The girl was a huge fan of one of the more famous members of the group...To which their worlds will intertwine on that fateful day. Looking at the time she realised she would be late for the first day of the senior year. She yelped, uncovering herself as she rushed to her bathroom the wash her face. She brushed her teeth faster than the speed of light and tied her hair in a messy bun. She didn't have time to put on makeup. Nor did she even want to...Her name is Y/n...And She wasn't like the other gi-

A sharp pain suddenly surfaced from y/n's body, her pale skin cracking like a ceramic pot, she groaned and cried. It was all too much...Suddenly...The whole world turned dark. The scenery. The music. All lost in a white haze as her reality folded on itself.

"Looks like the author decided to stop writing the story...Way to kill the fun...And the author was even 13 years old!...."

A chilling voice could be heard circling the room, its horrific cackling echoed as y/n got up. Their body was pure white, the word "y/n" etched on their chest. They were small...They groaned as they stood up, brushing themselves off as they looked around the room. The voice spoke again like acidic venom being jabbed into their veins.

"Y/n #1407...We are not done just yet. There's an ADULT story you will have to be in very soon...However, You will be given a 5-minute break."

....No.....Please no.....

Y/n shakily gave a thumbs up to the voice and ran out to take their break...the room was like the one they were in. a maze of white rooms with no sign of life...There they curled up into a little ball and breathed heavily...

...I hate this...I hate this I hate this I HATE THIS!!!...

Every day of Y/n's miserable existence they had to slave away. Satisfying the vile and horrific fantasies of the writers and readers...."Your Name"... That's what they were named... No specific anything...They were one of the many innocent y/n's, "Names", and self-inserts that were forced to be subjected to the more "Mature" side of Fanfiction writers...The irony. Those authors were anything but mature...

Oh, how Y/n wished to strangle the throats of those pubescent, repugnant beasts of the underworld. Did they ever think to stop typing and ponder how would they feel if they were subjected to these sickening fantasies...The more Y/n thought about what was to come next the more their breathing quickened and shortened. They didn't want to go through that torture again. All they wanted to do was disappear forever...But if they did....F/n-

"Y/n? Oh, my days! Hey buddy it's ok. It's going to be ok...Breathe...In and out as slow and long as you can.."

...F/n?...

As if the timing wasn't even more perfect. The very person Y/n thought of was now standing in front of them.

F/n...Or "friend name". F/n was a kind soul. They had similar features to y/n, except for their more curvy waist and rosy lips. The word "F/n" is etched on their chest, mirroring Y/n's mark.

F/n's soft smile was like the glow of the sun, their eyes filled with all the stars in the galaxy. As they stroked Y/n's back in comfort...F/n always knew what to do to calm Y/n down...After all, they are meant to be y/n's friend in every story. But they formed a bond with one another over the years. So their friendship was anything but a dream...

Whenever F/n was around Y/n felt a sudden burst of rejuvenation. Like there was a glimpse of hope in this dystopian wasteland Y/n had to call "home"...

...Would it truly be a crime to say...They felt an attraction towards F/n. Where Y/n has been moulded and built to only fulfil the creators wildest imaginations and the desire of its audience?

.

.

.

...Yes...

[deaddovecoterie]

confessions

co-written with @whoseblogsthis

Peeta Mellark x Fem!Reader

Prompt: “Isn’t it obvious? I’m in love with you!” 

Fandom: the hunger games

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.6k

Warning(s): swearing, unedited, two oblivious dumbasses in love

Genre(s): angst, fluff

A/N: LMAO HI GUYSSSS. so i had the INSANE privilege of writing with my mutual, friend, and insanely talented writer, @whoseblogsthis, ky. i obviously couldn’t have done this without her and im so so blown away by her and her talents. this is basically our child and baby and so im basically screaming right now cause we just finished this and its 1:01am. ANYWAY i really really hope you guys love this as much as we loved writing it <3 mwuah love you all

main stuff -> y/n (your name)

-> e/c (your eye colour)

-> y/l/n (your last name)

Peeta Mellark. 

He was your constant; your rock. You could rely on him for anything and everything.

He was the steadiest thing you’d had in your life for a long time now, but as he took your wrist and led you upstairs away from the party, you couldn’t help but feel the anger bubble up in your chest. 

“Peeta, what—”

“Why?” he nearly shouts. Peeta is mild mannered. He’s many things, actually; polite, charming, and personable, but angry was not one of them. It didn’t scare you like you’d always expected it to, but rather frustrated you. 

“Why what, Peeta?” you hiss back. 

He looks at you as if you had just grown two heads, his brows knit together in disbelief.

“You’re joking,” he breathes. You shake your head, not understanding what he is trying to get at. You defensively cross your arms, knowing the juvenile element would annoy him, but having nothing to do with your hands increases your already anxious state.

“That guy,”

“That guy?”

“Yes, y/n, yes. That guy that was just a little too friendly with you? So close to you that he was practically crawling under your goddamn skin? What were you thinking?”

You laugh at him, unable to contain it. “I can handle myself perfectly fine. Why are you being such an ass?” you all but shout at him. “It’s none of your business anyway?” 

“Hm, let’s see y/n, he could’ve, god, I don’t know, taken advantage of you?” 

You scoff, unable to handle his cliché statement. 

He brings his hands up and pushes his hair back, looking up at the ceiling as he exhales heavily through his nose. You squint at him, unable to read the emotions on his face. 

“What is up with you?” you whisper, not quite sure if he was able to hear. Your eyes narrow, unsure of what his next words might be. 

“For someone so smart, you can be so goddamn oblivious sometimes, y/l/s.”

“Oh my god, what is with all the stupid riddles tonight? I can’t read your mind! You can’t expect me to just know things,” you exasperate, throwing your hands out in front of you. “For someone who’s supposed to be good at communication, you’re doing a pretty shitty job of displaying it,” you spit, throwing his words right back at him. 

“Fine,” he hisses, starting to move towards you.

You cock your eyebrow at him, your bodies coming closer, nearly closing the gap.

“Fine?” you question.

“Yeah.” he huffs out, repeating the word with an heir of finality, “yeah.” His breath warms your face, the scent of vodka invading your senses.

Your cheeks heat up, suddenly very aware of his proximity. You watch his adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly. He can’t meet your eyes, his heart hammering against his chest so loud that it feels as though you can hear it. His head drops along with his gaze, studying the floor before chancing a glance at you. Peeta lets go of a breathy laugh as words tumble out of his mouth.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he breathes, his words choked, hardly audible, him now looking you right in the eyes. Your stomach does a flip once, unsure of his next words. Blue eyes stare at your e/c ones that are clouded in confusion. You can feel his frustration start to build as he takes a step back from you, his voice rising and hands coming from his sides. 

“I’m in love with you,” he bursts out. 

Oh my god.

You stare at him in shock, his proclamation stunning you. You blink once, twice, as his words echoing through your head.

His hazel eyes bore into your e/c ones, willing you to say something, anything, to let him know you heard him. But yet you stand there, unable to find the words. 

Nothing is coming out.

Say something, you beg yourself, wanting to scream out an answer, yet your mouth continues to remain shut. You swallow hard, your tongue feeling like sandpaper. How could you be so oblivious to his feelings? You and him have known each other since childhood, yet there you are, standing only inches away from him, the truth finally known. It seemed 

The look in his eyes is absolutely heart-wrenching; if you hadn’t just heard him, you’d have thought he had lost his best friend. In a way, you guess, he had. 

Peeta just shakes his head softly, shrugging his shoulders in such a way that makes you want to reach out and take his hand. His dark waves fall over his eyes and he turns around, facing the door.

“I—” you begin, but you know it’s too late. 

“Just, um, forget it, y/n,” his voice soft, small, “I’ll see you in environmental studies.”

He opens the door and steps out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. You want to scream, to tell him to come back.  

“Dammit!” you exclaim, throwing your red solo cup as hard as you can at the wall. The contents spill all over, some of the liquid splashing on you but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

You reach to pull at your loosely braided hair, a habit of yours that came out whenever you were experiencing an excess of negative emotions, before you realize where you are. You harshly rub your eyes with the heels of your hands as you remind yourself to breathe. 

In, out . . . In, out. 

“Get it together,” you tell yourself, taking one last deep breath. “Okay.”

You turn to head back downstairs to the party, nothing on your mind except finding Peeta and setting everything straight, hoping at this point that that was even a possibility anymore. 

God, you hated this part. You hated having to make up. Saying sorry was never your strong suit, your pride always getting in the way. But this? This was not a matter of pride. This was about finally coming to terms with the truth that you so desperately tried to avoid for years. 

You almost trip as you descend the stairs, looking everywhere for Peeta but unable to find him anywhere in the crowd. 

Spotting a head of wavy bronze hair by the water cooler, you rush over to your english lit classmate, who is also a friend of Peeta’s; Finnick Odair. 

“Hey Finnick,” you say once you reach him, trying to keep your voice even. He greets you with his signature smirk before bringing his cup to his lips and taking a sip.

“Ah, y/n, having a good time I trust?”

“Trying to,” you grumble. Finnick gives you a quizzical look before you proceed; “Have you seen Peeta?” You can’t help but notice the slight crack in your voice when you say his name.

“Yeah,” he confirms, “I saw him leave a few minutes ago. Seemed pretty upset.” 

“Yeah, wonder why,” you mutter bitterly, knowing he wouldn’t hear your words above the music. 

You bite your lip, weighing the option of asking Finnick to help you find Peeta. Half of you wanted to go and find him yourself, your need to get the weight off your chest as quickly as possible, the other half of you wanting to stall for as long as you could.

 “Could you text him? Ask him where he is?” 

“Why can’t you?” 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, your cheeks burning. “Because, I—” 

“Wait,” Finnick’s smile widens. “Wait, are you the reason he’s upset?” 

Your silence is enough for him. His dopey smile falters for a moment, an emotion that you could only define as realization sweeping over his face. He shakes his head softly, pulling his phone from the pocket of his hoodie and opening his texts. His thumbs glide swiftly across the screen as he compiles a message to send to Peeta. 

You can’t have been standing there for more than a minute when his phone dings. Finnick flashes you the screen. 

From: Pita Bread 

I’m fine... at the pond. 

“Thank you, Finnick, really,” you breathe.

He just nods, taking another sip of his drink. 

You rush out of the frat house the party was being held in, running across the street to Panem University’s main campus, willing your legs to go faster. 

The pond was at the northern end of campus, smack in the middle of Tribute Hall and the Coriolanus Snow Study Center. You see a silhouette sitting on one of the few stone benches surrounding the body of tranquil water, tossing handfuls of what you can only assume is trail mix at the ducks that liked to take up at the pond. 

You slow down, bringing your footfalls to a trot, then silently padding your way over the grass towards him. Your chest is heaving from the exertion as you try to make your breaths even.

“Peeta,” You call out, your voice void of any venom as you stalk towards the boy. You’re almost inclined to slap him because of how he acted. No rational person could expect someone to give them an answer to a question as heavily weighed as that right away. 

He stands up once you reach him, refusing to look you in the eyes. For a fleeting moment, you catch the grief-stricken look in his usually bright eyes and it’s enough to keep you from raising your hand at him. 

“Why did you leave like that?” you breathe out. He shrugs a shoulder with almost casual indifference. “Peeta.” you nearly plead, looking at him as your eyebrows knit together.

“What did you expect me to do?” he says feebly. 

You look up at the night sky, inhaling deeply as you hurriedly send off a prayer to whatever higher power that you can say everything you want to say to him, in the way you want to say it. 

In a way that says something to him. Means something. 

The stars seem to twinkle brighter, almost like they received your message. God, this is so hard.

Peeta is still looking anywhere but at you, his focus now on the ducks idling in the water. 

“You could have waited for me,” you say. “I mean, come on! That was… big. A big thing to drop on me,” you add, “so of course I was shocked. But if you had just waited for me . . .” 

“What?” he snorts, finally looking you in the eyes. “What would you have said that couldn’t have possibly made me feel like more of a fool than I already was? What—” 

“I love you,” you blurt. 

Here it goes.

“And not in a ‘you’ve always been there for me, so I’m kind of indebted to you’ kind of way but in a way that’s like, ‘I want to do cheesy stuff with you because I know it will make you smile.’ That’s like, I would do anything, anything to prove to you that I’m worthy of your love. Peeta, you’ve seen everything I was and everything I am, and it just— I just couldn’t believe when you said that . . . But I— I trust you with everything in me and it frightens me, because you know I’ve been hurt before, but I can’t deny that everything feels right when I’m with you. I just. I want another chance. If, if you’ll let me.” You breath the words out, hardly anything but air coming out.  

“Y/n, breathe.” 

“Right,” you exhale, your mind swirling around, making vertigo seem like a walk in the park. 

“You’re not . . . unworthy of love,” Peeta begins but he stops, trying to figure out his words. “What Cato did to you, it doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love. He’s.. an asshole, who’s going to get what’s coming to him. I— I’m sorry for dropping it on you like that, but seeing you with that guy, he just reminded me so much of Cato, and it made me so mad because I didn’t want you to go through that again, and I.. couldn’t help but think it was my final chance to tell you how I felt.” 

“Final chance?” 

“Y/n, I’ve loved you since like year six.” 

“Peeta, you absolute dumbass!” you exclaim, quickly going to cover your mouth as your own words shock even yourself. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . wow,” a laugh nearly escapes your lips. “We’re both oblivious fools, huh?” 

Peeta’s brows furrow in confusion, as you let out a soft chuckle. His head is tilted slightly to the side, his soft curls falling into his blue eyes. This moment is one you’ll always remember, you think to yourself, already trying to commit it to memory. The way the trees slightly sway from the late summer breeze, the moonlight reflecting off the water; best of all, the glint in Peeta’s eye when your gazes meet. It’s so cheesy, really, but you couldn’t care less. You’ve played it over and over in your head for years, different scenarios always being formulated, but nothing you could have ever dreamt of could compare to this moment. 

“I’ve loved you since year seven,” you tell him, every word of it true. “I can’t believe it took us both this long. Could have avoided the whole Cato fiasco of year twelve, I suppose, if we had just . . . had the gall to tell each other back then, I guess,” you say, the last sentence mumbled.

“Yeah.” Peeta laughs, a genuine deep laugh that reaches his eyes. It rouses the butterflies that have been in the pit of your stomach, the fluttering making you nervous as you watch him scratch the base of his neck almost embarrassedly. 

“So,” you say, dragging the ‘o’ sound. “Pretty sure this is the part where most people would kiss.” 

“Do you want to kiss me?” 

“No, not you, Peeta. I was talking to the duck behind you,” You frown, unable to contain the scoff that passes your lips. “Yes.. yes, I want to kiss you,” you breathe, your pulse hammering.

You step forward, your hands reaching up, gliding against his cheeks, his hands resting on your waist. In a moment of bravery, you place your lips against his. They’re soft, and he tastes like cedar and bread, and it’s like coming home, being in his arms as his lips move against yours, the breeze chilling your skin but his warming you. 

There are no words spoken between the two of you as you both pull away. His eyes are still closed, his long eyelashes resting against the tops of his cheeks; the corners of his mouth are pulled up slightly. 

God, he’s beautiful. So beautiful. That word is usually reserved for sceneries, sunsets or pretty dresses, but in this moment, you can’t tear your eyes away from him. 

“Finally!” someone shouts, causing the both of you to jump back from each other, acting like two first years getting caught passing notes in class. You look around before your eyes land on Johanna Mason, leaning against the statue of the university founder Alma Coin that’s off to the left of the entrance of the study center. Finnick is with her, his signature smirk gracing his elegant features once more. “We were wondering when you two would have the balls to tell each other how you felt.” 

“It seems everyone knew but you two,” Finnick adds with a deep chuckle. 

“Alright, Finny, I think we should leave the two lovebirds alone.” Johanna says, turning away. “Be safe, you two!” 

“If you need anything,” Finnick winks at Peeta. “You know where to reach me.”  

You laugh softly, leaning your head against Peeta’s chest. His arms wrap around you, encasing you in him. His cheeks rests on the top of your head, his breaths evening out as you listen to his steady heart beat. 

This is it. This is home. 

[bringingglory]

thank you so much for the tags @hanamuri @fullmetalscullyy @megthemighty @nightofnyx8 @tsaritsa !

How many works do you have on AO3? 11! some are botw, one is tdiapt, some are fma, and some are haikyuu! i mostly just write for whatever im interested in at the moment/whichever fandom inspiration strikes for

What's your total AO3 word count? 101,939

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Keep Your Friends Closer But Your Enemies Closer - T: ahhhh my miraculous ladybug fic! ive literally been working on her for FOREVER and i swear to god im going to finish it, i literally know how i want to end it and i know all the events leading up to it. hell, i even have a vague idea of what i want to happen in the middle, i just need to know what order the middle stuff happens in and also i just have to write it. It's an AU where Ladybug and Chat Noir are actually enemies but then Chat Noir accidentally befriends Marinette and then drama etc etc etc.

rain - G: first zelink fic babey! set Pre-Calamity and basically link and zelda get stuck in a cave because of the rain and there's just a lot of quiet pining, etc etc.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa - T: HAHAHA this was a crack fic inspired by my roommate but then i forgot it was supposed to be a crack fic while writing it and there are accidentally real emotions alkjdfalksdf but anyway it was very fun to write lmao. it was based off this meme and basically it's an AU where Oikawa is Spider-Man and Iwaizumi doesn't know but they still like hang out and stuff. It's a lot of fun, or at least I think it is, haha.

stolen moments - T: first royai fic!!! just a series of "stolen moments" (mic drop) where roy and riza like cant be together but yknow, they try. lots of pining. etc

a secret weapon of sorts - T: 5+1 edwin fic inspired by the Simple People OVA where instead of ed giving winry earrings to get out of trouble, he gives her kisses.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? Yes! I try really hard to!!! Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I don't respond to comments for a while, but I absolutely do my best to when I remember because I feel like it's my way of saying "thank you" for them reading my fics in the first place, haha.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uhhhhh, sleepless I guess? But it's more open-ended/not explicitly positive more than anything, though even then I feel like I've got a hint of hope in there. alkjdfhalsdk idk man I just, I can't write *pure* angst, there's gotta be some light, and thus I could never end anything angstily

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? LMAO most of my fics??? I guess??? bc despite being an anxious piece of shit, I am an optimist by heart

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? When I was younger! Idk, I guess the Rise of the Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons fandom??? if anyone remembers what that is lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not exactly? Maybe some weird comments on KYFCBYEC but even then, it wasn't that often.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No no no no no no no no. I am telling you, I physically cannot write smut. I don't think I actually have the capacity. Absolute fucking kudos to every single smut writer out there bc it truly is an art form capturing that intimacy and emotion and etc, but I literally get flustered from writing mildly detailed kiss scenes. If I ever wrote smut, I would burst into flames on the spot.

Actually lies, I technically wrote smut once, but it was at the request of my roommates and they wanted me to write a crack smut fic of Y/N x our uni's mascot and I wrote that thing in like 3 hours with so many silly memes to keep myself sane (not like other girls, tongues battled for dominance, etc), did not edit it, and because it was so, like, not serious, I was actually able to get through it. But even then, when I wrote "thrusting" I literally had to put my laptop down for 20 minutes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! Someone commented on Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa and asked if they could translate it and I said yes! They haven't gotten around to it yet, but I would love to see it if they do!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet!

What’s your all-time favourite ship? Bro it changes day to day. You can't ask me this lmao. The current ship I'm most fixated on is Iwaoi, but I wouldn't say they're my all-time favorite.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I'm not answering this energy. On god, I'm going to finish things. I want to.

What are your writing strengths? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh very good question lmao. I don't really like thinking about "strengths" in my writing bc who am I to say? akjdslakfjdf idk, instead, I'm just gonna say some things I like/try to do in my writing, which are: conversational prose/having a lot of voice in the narration, I try to add humor wherever I can, and recently I've gotten better and metaphors and describing things bc I picked up writing poetry a year ago!

What are your writing weaknesses? hmmm, a thing I dislike about my writing/the writing process is that I'm slow to publish things and slow to finish things because I'm such a messy first drafter and I also take forever to edit. I would like to uhhhhh get things out faster. Also I tend to repeat myself a lot bc I forget the details of things I write sometimes lmao.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Hmmm, I dunno, I guess I don't have any strong thoughts? The only other language I know is Mandarin but even then, I suck ass at that, so I'll prolly never write dialogue in another language simply bc I like to try to portray things semi-realistically and I don't think I have a good enough grasp on any other language the same way I do in English to produce authentic enough dialogue.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fablehaven I guess? But Idk I was in fourth grade an didn't even know what fandom was yet. Rise of the Guardians, maybe?

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

AHHHH idk??? maybe hold your hand out in the dark because i really experimented with my writing on that one and im sort of proud of the result, just like the fact that i wanted to try something new and it turned out alright. that or Sunset Wheeling which is an iwaoi fic where they just skate, and like it's prolly one of the most self-indulgent things i've ever written because it's silly and they just. skate. but aljdfalsjd idk i loved it and i churned it out in 6 days and it was a lot of fun lol

ahhh a bunch of people have been tagged already, so sorry if im tagging you again, but for now im just gonna tag @niconiconina @notkorras @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @firewoodfigs and anyone else who wants do it!

[rigelmejo]

march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved. 

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side). 

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end. 

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得 地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡 慢慢 高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure  得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for  地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

[leta-the-strange]

Spoiler-free COG feelings/essay/thoughts before I see the movie. Spoiler-free because the movie isn’t out here til the end of the week but obviously, I’ve picked up info from trailers and interviews and things like that so sort of common knowledge stuff but I guess if you’ve avoided all the promos for the year I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you now so don’t read until after you’ve seen it if that’s the case (again, I only know basic info).

I have a lot of feelings that I’ve been sitting on for a while because frankly, large parts of the Fantastic Beasts and Harry Potter fandom terrify me. It’s why in my nineteen years (okay, thirteen years – I had to learn how to read) I’ve distanced myself from engaging in the fandom too much and when I do, I try and stick to as safe, neutral content as possible.

But I’m going to write a little bit a lot (my anxiety’s poppin off the charts right now) not to antagonise anyone or personally offend people just to get this pent up crap off my chest before I see the movie. 

I have Māori and Pākehā parentage. Although I am proud to be a Māori girl and I’m definitely not white-passing, I do acknowledge that out of my family, I was born with the lightest skin and being a lighter-skinned/mixed poc among my family and friends has made me recognise my privilege. That isn’t to say I haven’t experienced lifelong struggles with racism, bullying and discrimination but I will never experience the same micro-aggressions and experiences that they have. Although, I do have light-skinned privileges and I don’t ever want to take away the struggles of my family that I won’t experience on the same level, growing up looking a little different opened me up a lot of feelings of invalidation within my own culture. When I experienced racism as a child, I was also met with disdain for being upset about it when I wanted to talk about it. This was when I was a child and I didn’t understand lighter skinned privilege or the animosity from some of my own people. I am far more educated now, but during that confusing time I, like most children, turned to literature (which in turn is what helped me make sense of the world).

I’ve gotten a little off track – this isn’t overly important to what I’m writing about, but it is introducing my opinion as coming from a woman of colour who has experienced racism and horrible bullying, but I always feel the need to clarify my position as a lighter skinned poc before giving my opinion based on those experiences.

Obviously from my content, I love Leta Lestrange. Perhaps it started out as a matter of representation, but I feel like over the past year, I have become intrigued with her for a number of reasons. She’s striking me as a Sirius, Regulus and Andromeda Black type character. Different to her family and caught in a struggle of light and dark (magic, not skin colour). Loves magical creatures. I haven’t seen it yet but it seems like she is one of the centre point characters of the film. She seems to be connected to many of the main characters in one way or another and has always striked me as the most intriguing.

I really do hope I am wrong but the ‘other’ love interest’s in the Harry Potter universe are usually treated terribly. They experience character assassination to further the development of the canon/new interest.

I really hope this film doesn’t do the whole blow out a woc character to make the white, self-insert, classically beautiful, ‘im not like other girls’ character shine brighter.

Before everyone comes for me, I wouldn’t say I’m a Tina ‘anti’ whatever that is. There’s no like extreme hatred at all! I would say I don’t like Tina as a character, or Queenie for that matter. Not yet anyway. The new trailer gives me hope that this movie might win me over finally. It doesn’t need to be upsetting or offensive to anyone. There are lots of people out there with favourite and not-so-favourite characters. A lot of people dislike Ron, Dumbledore, Snape, even Harry…and there are people who have those characters as their favourite.  

There are a lot of reasons I don’t like Tina and Queenie. I may address them in a different post if being vague upsets people more than going in-depth but at this point, I am trying to stay as unconfrontational as possible but I have seen people get extremely furious when they don’t deem your reason for disliking them to be ‘good enough’ so if not saying exactly what I find uncomfortable about them is not as preferable as telling people then I can write it up as respectfully as possible if I’m treated the same way. All I’ll say is that I think Tina is a good person, but, in my opinion, not a great character. Queenie is the opposite. I would not like Queenie as a person but I have to admit, she’s a good character. But I’ll hold the rest of my opinions until after the second film. 

Honestly, the film adaptions leave some of my favourite book characters to be desired. Maybe if FB was a novel, I’d like Tina but I really dislike her in the movies. I have seen people blow up when this is said. I try to understand the outrage. I think one of the reasons I dislike Tina is one of the reasons why people love her. She is, at this point and in my opinion (which is ONLY an opinion), a self-insert character. Any Newt x Reader fanfiction can easily read as a Newtina fanfiction and vice versa. I know. Because I’m a FB fanfiction writer myself and tried to write her. Sometimes when you attach yourself to a character so much, it can feel personally offensive when someone says something as harmless such as they don’t like then. I don’t experience this as often. Every Reader/OC fanfiction is, perhaps unintentionally, but nearly always aimed at a white person in description. In actuality, nearly every character in literature is, intentionally or not, described with textbook white features or assumed white by the fandom/readers/watchers.

I know people are going to hate this opinion because I’ve seen people jump down other people’s throats when this gets brought up. I do believe, whether it is conscious or not, Leta not being white COULD, subconsciously, be a factor as to why she is so inherently hated. I’ve seen more hate for Leta than any other character – even the antagonist! I hate what they did to Lavender Brown, book and movie wise, but even she, being as over exaggeratedly unlikable as a romantic plot device, received and still receives far less fandom hate than Cho Chang (who was also eventually written to be ‘jealous, hysterical, unlikeable’, etc, etc – I don’t agree btw I love, understand and appreciate Cho and Lavender)  who was smart, talented, kind, traumatised, and until it was no longer convenient to the main characters romance for her to be ‘likeable’ anymore.

I wish I could enjoy going through the Leta tag but often, her and Newt can’t even be in a scene or photo together and people lose their minds with anger and hate. Literally, the comments on any scene/photo they are in are all along the lines of ‘stay away from newt!/poor tina/urgh, don’t flirt leta/leta WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’. Sorry, to break it to you guys but it isn’t a love triangle. It’s a love conga line. The only person getting in the way of ‘Newtina’ is Newt. Instagram is even worse. By worse, I mean horrible beyond belief. The better comments are the ones are the ones merely (though still grossly) comparing her to Tina and how much they dislike her, the other ones are wishes that she’ll get killed or join Grindelwald. It’s literally not even hidden the fact they wish either of these things happen so Newtina can happen faster. I’m not a Newtina shipper at all (Yet. Again, this might change if the films improve) but this would be one of the worst ways to further your ship. That is literally not going to change the fact that Newt’s still in love with her (you can have feelings for two people at the same time. The filmmakers confirmed - in fact, one of the first things about the new movie that they confirmed - that Newt is ‘absolutely still in love with her’), it just makes her conveniently unattainable. I do have a feeling that Leta might die and if it happens, it better not be because she’s unwillingly in the way of a ‘love triangle’ that people have forced these three characters into. If Newtina is going to happen in a way that isn’t awful, rushed and horrible, it will be slow-burn and it’s in own time AFTER Newt has healed and properly fixed things with Leta. You can’t be best friends and in love with someone for 15+ years and fall out of love with them immediately after they die, turn bad and settle for a woman you met for like two days and collectively spent maybe ten hours with. It might be a Ron/Hermione situation where it’s slow and eventual. That’s the only way I could possibly get on board and I think it could be done tastefully if they don’t resort to lazy writing. I do have my fingers crossed I’ll start to like the Goldsteins before this happens and I can enjoy it as much as everyone else does.

To be honest, after seeing the trailers, I see only two endings for Leta (and I hate them BOTH):

She joins Grindelwald: If this is the plot twist, it’s the shittiest plot twist ever. Pretty much 90% of the fans since seeing the first film have assumed/liked to believe she’s pure evil. Probably the characters themselves all assume she’s evil from her last name. I was worried the whole ‘haha, I was on Grindelwald’s side all along!’ situation was going to happen. We know JK hates Slytherins. My ‘Leta joins Grindelwald’ theory would be that she has always been on the good side – or trying to be – and after YEARS of oppression and discrimination and being distrusted by maybe the central characters in this film no matter how hard she tries AND maybe finally realising that Newt isn’t going to ever forgive her she just snaps and goes all ‘f*ck you guys then’ (I wouldn’t blame her tbh). HOWEVER, I doubt this. In a trailer, you literally see Leta THROW a fucking spell STANDING BY HERSELF (what u doin bby?) at Grindelwald. Trust me, if this was Tina it would have been all everyone was talking about but of course the fandom was all ‘yeah, see, she’s in the same frame as Grindelwald SHE’S EVIL’. One of the trailers is literally titled Leta vs. Grindelwald. Everything in the trailers/promos points to Queenie joining Grindelwald but *shrugs, I guess*.

Leta dies: I get this may seem the preferable way to appease the Leta haters and the Leta lovers especially if she dies after redeeming herself or heroically or whatever but urgh, no. I know everyone’s like ‘DoNt MAKe ThIS AbOUT RaCe’ when the woc character inevitably is killed but I’m sorry. To have been able to sit in a theatre as a little girl and see Leta Lestrange in the wizarding world would have blown my tiny mind. Honestly, as an older teen seeing Zoe Kravitz in that little photo frame in Newt’s case in the first film was iconic enough for me. After growing up being made to believe I was ‘unattractive’ because of how I looked, seeing total dreamboats like Callum Turner and Eddie Redmayne’s characters being all heart-eyes over Leta is, like...wow!  And I do have an uncomfortable truth for people who want Leta to die. That would possibly be the WORST thing to happen for the Newtina thing (would pretty much be the last nail in the coffin for me ever coming around to it). I’ve seen it happen in my family when someone you love dies. Your feelings for them essentially FREEZE. You can’t fall out of love with someone who is dead. That’s of course not to say that you don’t love again and just as much as the first time. But it takes time (LOTS of it) and there’s a little part of your heart that’s like…permanently sealed off. I don’t even like Newtina yet and I’m hoping for the sake of the Newtina fans that Leta doesn’t die because freakin’ yikes. Just let them heal and connect and be besties again goddammit, its POSSIBLE (and bet your ass I’ll write it my god damn self to prove it if they don’t). 

I know these are highly unpopular opinions and I HOPE that I am wrong, and they do her character justice and don’t discard her via death or the dark side.

In summary, I suppose my biggest struggle with Leta’s character is definitely the overwhelming fandom hate which I still can’t quite comprehend. I really want to believe it isn’t a race thing. Though, I have seen horrible posts about Leta, mean comments on nearly every Leta promo, Zoe Kravitz literally being called a c*nt in the comments of a Leta post on tumblr, a lot of fanfictions having her be primarily evil, selfish, manipulative, in some a rapist even, ugly, cruel, etc. But honestly, she’s literally not interfering in Newt having a relationship with anyone at all??? She’s literally been villainised because her friend can’t get over her (getting Snily nostalgia). But buggered if I’ve been able to find next to anything of that calibre about Jacob’s fiancée (literally a Queenie doppelganger) who left him, like, the day he met Queenie. I get that it was a deleted scene for those non-hardcore fans, but Leta-hate was literally kicked off by a picture in a photo frame and a comment made by a, in my opinion, kind of not-nearly-as-infallible-as-people-think character that barely knows Newt breaking into his head non-consensually (after being repeatedly told not to) who had an agenda to hook him up with her sister. Sooo…*shrugs*.

Even I personally have tried to keep out of the fandom debates, but I wrote a Leta and Newt story (still ongoing) that I stopped for a while because the kind of disgusting comments I was receiving about people hating the pairing. Which, I get. You don’t like a pairing, that’s cool? Why are you going and seeking out a piece about them and then taking the time to leave a comment? Whenever I start to read a story about Leta being this horrific monster of a person and being torn apart and compared and occasionally borderline racist, I just…click out? I know it’s only a small patch of weeds in what is likely a garden of roses, but I have never come across such an insecure fandom for a literal canon ship. If the relationship was that pure and strong, you wouldn’t feel the need to kill or villainise the (non-existent) ‘threat’. I just hope the writers feel the same way. You can write healthy closures and strong women of colour characters without casting them aside for plot development/man pain/stereotypical Caucasian romance/plot device, etc... I’m going to go into the theatre at the end of the week slightly optimistic to be fair but I’m also fully expecting to be disappointed but honestly, Leta could avada kedavra every character and she’s still going to be my favourite, I don’t make the rules. 

[notsoguiltykpop]

FIRST LEMMA SAY hot cocoa is so cute!! and the latest to the tenth floor OMMFMFgbut anyways a while ago i said you inspired me to get back in writing but do you have any tips? i find that i write like, three sentences an hour >_

I’m so happy you liked it!! I honestly don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to writing, but I can definitely try to give you some tips I’ve found work for me! 

My number one rule for myself is to try not to edit while I type. Nothing slows me down more than trying to fix mistakes as I go. Don’t worry about how stuff is spelled or even basic grammar to begin with, just focus on getting your thoughts down. When I’m struggling to keep going and keep changing my mind about how/what I’m writing, I turn off spell check and grammarly so the red underlined words don’t distract me. Alternatively, I grab a notebook and pen so I can’t keep re-wording and just write (unrelated, but I also do this with timed essays in college because I have to work with what I’ve already written, and then I edit while I transfer it from paper to a word document.).

If what you’re working on isn’t going the way you want, don’t feel bad about setting it aside. Sometimes the words just aren’t flowing for a story, and that’s normal. Admin Bread recently reminded me that Jordan Peele stopped writing “Get Out” more than twenty times. While I don’t recommend quitting, I do think it can be really helpful to work on something else if you get stuck on a part. I write snippets of a nameless couple’s life when I feel like writing but none of the stories I want to work on are going quite right. Sometimes even just typing out how I feel helps to get the words flowing!

I never time myself, per se. Years ago, back when I first tried NaNoWriMo, all my friends told me that the best way to write fast was to set a timer and write as many words as possible. This never worked for me–I ended up with random words that usually didn’t even relate to what I was originally trying to say. This doesn’t mean it won’t work for you, only that if it doesn’t, that’s okay too! Instead, I like to set aside designated time to write. Like I’ll look at the time and say “I’m going to focus on writing for the next hour,” put my phone on silent, and close the other tabs on my computer. I take breaks, but they’re usually to make more tea/coffee or stretch, avoiding looking at apps/notifications so I don’t get distracted. 

If I’m at a loss for ideas of what to write next, there are a number of things I do! Prompt blogs are a great place to start–I recently discovered @hellsdemonictrinity and highly recommend checking them out!

Most of my series ideas come from asking myself strange questions, and answering them with illogical answers that are way too detailed. For instance, I have this one Hoseok wip that all started because I was looking at laundry lines and asked my sister “Okay but what if you hang up your laundry and your neighbor just keeps stealing your socks?? Only the left one’s, of course. What would you do? Leave notes in them asking them politely to cut it out?” She told me to shut up, but I just kept on until I had this whole story about neighbors stealing socks and starting a passive-aggressive note-leaving war that eventually leads to romance lmao. Anyway my point is, asking yourself questions can help with the creative process. If I’m in the middle of something and get stuck, asking “why is she feeling this way?” Or “what if he secretly loves elephant plushies?” can lead to some fun answers that get me going again.

Story planners are also really helpful for me! I get terribly sidetracked lol (one minute I’m writing about JK the race-car driver, the next I’m off on some tangent about Jimin the adorable cop whose best friend is a drug dealer rip I get so off topic), and knowing exactly where I’m trying to go with something helps with that! When I find myself just staring blankly at the page like “where am I supposed to go from here?” or just can’t get the words out, I can look back at it and see a clear path of what happens next. There are some great apps out there for free to help with this, but I usually just grab a piece of paper and sketch out a basic outline of the main points.

I keep a notebook with me at all times to jot down ideas or funny phrases as they come to me, so when I’m writing slow I can look back at them. 

I do try to write every day, but not always for stories. Recently I’ve been emailing colleges constantly and working on transfer essays which have taken up most of my writing time. 

And of course, don’t pressure yourself. Writing can be therapeutic and relaxing, but if you get too caught up in “I have to finish this chapter today” or “I need to write 2k words every day” it gets stressful and the fun drains right out of it. I find that I’m much more productive when I simply write what I feel like when I feel like it rather than give myself unnecessary deadlines.

I am not a professional, and have so much more to learn, but I hope some of these helped! Sorry it’s so long, I was trying to think of as much as possible that I do that might answer your questions. Every writer is different, and it’s really a matter of trial and error to figure out what works for you. If there’s anything else I can help with please feel free to ask!

[minthalo]

All of the fanfiction asks!

oh boy okay here we go

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was “Do you want to build a Sand Castle With Me?” and I can reread it only because i rewrote it a few months ago and posted over the original 

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

my most recent fic is “Cobrababy Nate” and I think i’ve improved a lot since the first fics i’ve written... at least i hope i have

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

my favorite fic has to be “Meet me by the lake”

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

Probably my first fic “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?”

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

Yes!!! my favorite one is “You have a nice voice”

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Y e s and it’s “Ooh Santa Travie”

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I have this one Joncer au that i’ve never posted and I’m in Love With but i can’t find the motivation to write anything lately so it’s just sitting in my google drive unfinished staring at me until i complete it

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

hmmm I have this one Brencer au that i never posted that i haven’t touched in Forever so probably that one, i really want to finish it

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

no but i’ve thought about it

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

no i usually read a bunch of fics before writing my own

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Yeah, i used to take prompts off those big posts full of them, and I know there are a million more popular fics with the same idea. I usually try to let it not bother me too much

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

Yes, i wasn’t comfortable with people reading that side of my writing. Maybe one day it’ll change

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I use proper grammar

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I look for more short and sweet fics rather than long ones like i used to

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Yup, i would write frerard fics because i knew it would get a lot of attention even though i wasnt really into that ship

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

yup. I love rywalk but no one reads it so i stopped writing for that pairing

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

“Hot Shirtless Plant Guy” its like the second fic i ever wrote and its not very good. I went back and rewrote it because it was so bad

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

literally any of my rywalk fics. they deserve better

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Shit i dont know, maybe the scene in “Do you want to build a sand castle with me” where Pete wakes Mikey up and they walk around their neighborhood in the middle of the night. I like that scene

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

Yes i have. I posted over most of my old fics with revised versions of them because the originals were so bad. I didn’t change much, just fixed the Many spelling and grammar errors 

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

Yes!! if they have an account i always go on it to see their fics and if it is in a fandom i like i’ll try to read them

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Y E S theres this one fic “Fragile Capricorn” and the author left kudos on my santa travie fic and i freaked out but also cried because thats the worst fic i’ve ever written but thats the one fic they read

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

literally all my reviews are nice it makes me cry but my favorite was one on “Phone Call” and it was “ THIS. this is the fic that got me into joetrick a while ago. thank u for showing me the light.” it makes me so happy i can convert people to ships i like

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’ve never gotten a mean review on my fics but i have gotten people sending me anon hate here for them, and yeah i do think that person meant for it to be insulting.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

“Please update faster!!” I know they mean well but writing is hard

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

that I write well at all because I have a million doubts in my head that my fics are shit

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

single fandom fics

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

probably bandom

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I like to think so but alot of these fics are amazing and Im just like,, basic

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I jump between fandoms for a while before stopping and moving on, its usually a slow change

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

Mikey way tbh

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

literally none of them theyre all so hard to write

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

not really

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

Yes my first Joetrick fic is one of my most popular fics and I didn’t expect that at all, I never realized how popular that ship is

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

surprisingly no, all my ships are planned out

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Yes. I hate ryden and i put it in my first fic for the sole purpose to break them up in a horrible way

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Yes. I hate ryden and i put them in “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?” only to break them up

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

yes. I write in sad things because i know itll make readers sad

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

My ao3 stats say I have 16 people subscribed to my account but i have a hard time believing that many people like my fics that much

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

No. I have major writers block (and also depression) so i never have motivation to write fics even though i really want to, i never feel like i put out enough fics

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

I dont cross post but my favorite site is ao3

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

most popular fic is “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?” and it has 1,922 hits on ao3 

43. Your least popular?

Least popular fic is “What could have been” and it has 56 hits on ao3

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

I think so. I kudos every fic i read

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

romance definitely  

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

Not really i write pretty basic stuff

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

depends who they are but mostly yes, I would probably give them either “meet me by the lake” or “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?”

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes all my friends know I write fanfiction. It’s not really something I’m ashamed of, and they usually think its less weird after I tell them I dont write porn

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

Yes!! My friend Veronica reads all my fics because I wrote them!! she barley even know the fandoms I write for

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Yes it has had a big impact on my life, and I say its mostly positive. I’ve met some of my best friends because of writing fanfiction and that means the world to me

You can find all of my fics on ao3 Here!!

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

I used to be a competitive runner and I have a degree in exercise physiology. I coached track for over 15 years, including the UCLA and USA Olympic women's teams. When my running career was ended in 1994 by a drunk driver, my body went into severe chemical withdrawals as my running mileage went from 130 per week to zero. I became arthritic almost overnight and sometimes needed help crossing the street. This also led to a psychological depression, something I had never experienced before.

While I spent some years rebuilding myself physically, I ended up spending a lot of time playing computer games. The advent of online gaming, and especially competitive MMO's, allowed me to compete again without the use of my legs. I believe my endurance training, especially my neurological and endocrine adaptations, gave me an edge. Playing for long hours gave me a high that was not unlike the high I would get running ultra marathons.

I began playing longer and longer hours, and by the time I co-wrote the first paper on virtual good sales with Ashley Dunn of the Los Angeles Times in 2000 I was "...playing 12 hours a day..." which was a conservative estimate. It was my new profession and I was really enjoying it. Given my background, I was under no illusions about just how punishing this was on my body.

When World of Warcraft was released in 2004, I was well trained for the big day. I had been an alpha tester and knew exactly what to do. I was one of the first 100 players world-wide to L60, I did not use the "bare handed rogue" cheat that was in the game the first week, and I started several days late because I switched servers when I realized my start server was hopelessly congested. To achieve this goal playing solo, I played 22 hours a day for 8 days straight. The second player to hit 60 on my server arrived there more than two weeks later.

Playing 22 hours straight for just one day is enough to cause death as described by this article that came out in March of this year.

This article, the lack of public knowledge of what happens in your body when you do extreme endurance gaming, and some recent new trends that will make deaths more common are what prompted me to write this article. Hopefully the information herein can be used to not only improve the performance of cyberathletes, but also save lives.

Exciting games will trigger the "fight or flight" mechanisms of your nervous and endocrine systems. Real time competitive performance-measured games with audiences (like World of Tanks or many multiplayer FPS's) really are capable of pushing us to our absolute physiological limits, which is in part by design since these games are intended to be very exciting and engaging. For short durations (less than an hour) this is not a problem, and can even be healthy.

When dealing with longer durations, participants should be knowledgeable about General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS), which is a pleasant sounding name for something that has three stages. The last stage is generally fatal so I think as more people decide they want to become cyberathletes, education will be important. When I use the term cyberathlete, I really mean these participants are athletes. In traditional athletics, the respiratory system and/or skeletal muscle is highly trained and stressed. When they become exhausted the participant is forced to stop but this is not life threatening. In cyberathletics, the endocrine system is the primarily stressed organ system and when it becomes stressed the General Adaptation Syndrome is initiated. The problem here is that training this system though game play generally makes this system weaker over time, not stronger. So the better you become at cyberathletics, if you dip into ultra endurance activities, the more likely you will have a mishap as you approach elite status.

Cross training as a physical endurance athlete may help strengthen the endocrine system but I think this is essentially non-existent in gamer culture. In my case I started as an endurance athlete and then following my accident crossed over into cyberathletics. I also had the education and clinical experience to take as many protective measures as possible while I engaged in extreme endurance play and my partner during those years was a crack trauma nurse that literally kept an IV set up at my game station. I never ended up needing it, but it was there to threaten me into keeping my fluid intake up. I absolutely would NOT recommend anyone attempt to reproduce any of the feats I describe myself as doing in this paper.

As gameplay continues the human player will progress through the states of the GAS. Epinephrine and norepinephrine will be released early on, giving the player the edge in focus, reaction time, and alertness they need to win. Antidiuretic hormone will also be released to conserve water, lowing urine output. The body will tap into its stores of glycogen in order to guarantee an increased supply of glucose to the brain. Glycogen stores are very limited and generally run out during running marathons in all but the most efficient athletes, causing "The Wall" to be hit. The Wall causes a disruption of glucose supply to the brain and the result is depression and confusion in the early stages. This example from the 1984 Olympic marathon shows what can happen neurologically when you run out of glycogen during competition. I was there in the stadium crying that day as I watched since as a competitive marathon runner competing for Santa Monica College where that race finished I knew exactly what Gabriela was going through and she was an amazing athlete.

I once staggered into the burger joint next to the Venice Pier looking like that and started ripping open all the ketchup packets trying to get glucose. The workers looked really scared and probably thought I was high on PCP. Nostalgia isn't the main reason I use this example though. I want you to look at the crowd. I'm going to come back to that and it is important.

Extreme competitive endurance events also trigger the release of your body's endorphins. These are natural opioids that reduce pain and cause numbness. As a former ultra endurance runner, I can attest that after about two hours you are high as a kite. After 5 hours and 64km (40 miles), like when I was asked to escort the torch bearers into Los Angeles in 1984 (I was an officer on the Olympic security team) the euphoria makes you 100% fearless. I've never tried opioids for recreational purposes, but beta endorphin has (according to the wiki) "approximately 18 to 33 times the analgesic potency of morphine". You can imagine how addicting this could be even though your own endorphins are much safer than any injected opioid. Trying to get that high using morphine would almost certainly kill you. There is also evidence that endorphins improve brain function and I always felt smarter on long runs, at least until I hit The Wall. I would often use that time to try to solve complex problems that were vexing me.

Endorphins are also released during game play. I'm sure this is why competitive endurance gaming ended up replacing my running addiction. I doubt there is any real research on what happens during extreme endurance play. The problem with such research is that it's generally regarded as unethical to conduct research on humans that could cause the subject to die or suffer significant harm. Thus some of what I may describe from first hand experience may not be rigorously supported in research yet, or any time soon.

As your gaming session goes on, the effects of Antidiuretic Hormone (ADH) become more pronounced even though they are largely invisible to the player. The effect we are concerned with here is that while this may conserve water to slow dehydration, it also slows kidney function. Thus toxic urea levels are building up in your blood stream during this entire process, even if you go to the restroom regularly.

As you become fatigued your body will start dipping into the nuclear weapon of stimulants, cortisol. Under the effects of this chemical humans are capable of nearly super human feats of focus. Your brain actually speeds up, making the world around you appear to slow down. It's basically a minor form of bullet time. It doesn't mean your body will speed up like Neo in The Matrix, but the rest of the world definitely seems to move slower. This gives you a lot more time to mentally react to various threats. Cortisol also impairs your immune system and reduces pain.

ADH also affects how electrolytes are excreted, which can in extreme cases (like these) cause an electrolyte imbalance that can disrupt heart function.

Biomechanically, sitting in a chair for a long time will lead to back fatigue and hip flexor shortening that can make standing up difficult and painful. Over several days this can lead to chronic back pain that might require rehabilitation.

If all of these warning signs are ignored then the body will move to the third stage of GAS in a last ditch attempt to overcome threat and avert death. The liver is trying desperately to maintain elevated supplies of glucose to the brain. Fatty acids are broken down to keep your muscles alive and maintain a glucose trickle, resulting in a buildup of poisonous ketones which make you smell sweet, sort of like acetone. You won't notice since it is hard to smell your own blood. Amino acids will be broken down to make extra glucose, especially when cortisol is high, causing urea to build up faster and making renal failure more likely.

Death is certain if the third stage of GAS is maintained, though how long that takes can vary widely depending on the circumstances.

As any parent with gaming children can attest, when a gamer gets "into it" they have a hard time noticing what's going on in real space. After a few hours of high intensity play the effects of cortisol and endorphins mean the gamer is high as a kite. This is a really pleasurable experience, and one that the player is not going to want to voluntarily stop. Players of "casual" or relaxing games may never have this experience.

Under natural conditions a cyberathlete will eventually have to get up to go to the bathroom. At this point, once immersion is broken they might realize that they don't feel good and call it quits. They might "just lie down for a second" and be out for hours. That's good because that is almost always enough to prevent the third stage of GAS. They might not even make it to the bathroom and just pass out on their computer. I've had many a World of Warcraft raid (which in the old days could last 8+ hours, I don't know if that has changed...) where one or more members of the raid became non-responsive because they passed out right there in their chairs during the raid.

The typical solution to the "problem" of sleep is to use a stimulant. There are many legal stimulants that can be used for this purpose, some even marketed specifically for this purpose. Like Red Bull, which I've seen promoted at several E3 conventions. This child decided that was his solution during a 14 hour Call of Duty marathon.

Our World of Tanks player on Twitch decided he just needed more cigarettes.

I never used stimulants during my extreme endurance competitive gaming. Thanks to my degree in exercise physiology and my time doing research on corticosteroid mechanics, I knew that if my own cortisol was not enough to keep me going then I was way over my head. As a good general rule, if you are under threat (including in a competitive computer game situation) and you still are nodding off, then you are in stage 3 of GAS. That stage is called "Exhaustion" for a reason. At this point the clock is ticking. In both of the cases I linked to in this article, the players were dead before they even got out of their chairs. In both cases they felt so bad that they got out of their chairs and started to die. The Twitch player collapsed off camera, did not receive immediate medical attention, and died. The child playing at school went into a coma, got immediate medical attention, and survived after 13 days in the hospital.

If you are going to use a stimulant to improve performance, then you absolutely MUST GET REST AFTER 8 HOURS. If you don't, or if you start using them after 8 hours, then you are playing a very serious game of Russian Roulette. And, every time you play this game, there are more bullets in the barrel because of progressive kidney damage. So it's only a matter of time before you lose.

If you have any related pre-existing medical conditions, then even that 8 hour guideline may be way too much. Being addicted already to caffeine, nicotine, or any other stimulant is a pre-existing condition since these addictions wear you out and leave you "pre-exhausted" before you even start. As with any other athlete, players wishing to compete at this level should see a physician and get a complete physical. You can't adjust for a pre-existing condition if you don't know it exists.

I must add that if a player has hit "The Wall" and is compensating with fat to glucose glucogenesis, and then consumes even a small amount of alcohol, the liver will switch to alcohol glucogenesis as toxin metabolism is prioritized. This is a much slower process and will cause glucose levels to get critically low. The one time it happened to me, when a teammate handed me a wine cooler after a long race, the initial result was severe convulsions. This was the most painful thing I had ever experienced, which is saying a lot. This same teammate (a notorious "drunken runner") identified the crisis immediately ("I've seen this before, this is bad...") and shoved a piece of candy in my mouth. This was exactly the correct response. In this situation glucose or sugar must be administered by IV or orally (sugar can enter the blood stream across the mucous membranes even without being swallowed) immediately or hypoglycemic coma (often called "diabetic coma") will result.

I have not reproduced this effect while gaming because I've never consumed alcohol while gaming. Alcohol would just make an extreme endurance gamer more tired unless it was in a caffeinated alcoholic beverage like Four Loco. Such products were essentially banned in the USA in 2010 but I do not know if they are still available to gamers outside the USA.

Remember Gabriela from the 1984 Olympics? Yea she totally should have stopped before doing her death march to the finish line. She knew it. The audience knew it and was mortified. The medical team there knew it but they could not intervene unless Gabriela gave them the okay. But...she couldn't do that. Not only was she representing her country, but there were thousands of people in the stands clapping and cheering. Hundreds of millions were watching on TV. This moment would define her life. This is an example of what I call Peer Effects, which are central to my personal research. I'm convinced that Peer Effects stimulate oxytocin, a hormone that might induce an even more intense "high" than any other chemical mentioned in this paper.

The body is incredibly resilient. There is no point in stopping if a tiger is chasing you, no matter how tired you are. We are a winning species because we have cortisol and endorphins that let us keep going even in extreme conditions. Peer effects also push us to fight for each other so that we sometimes win against tigers. In a game of World of Tanks, Call of Duty, or a World of Warcraft raid, you've got teammates that are counting on you. This creates a Peer Effect that can push you to keep going.

When I was studying Chinese competitive pay to win game models in 2009 in order to write my thesis paper (Sustainable Virtual Economies and Business Models, never published) I ended up being the top Western player in a game called Galaxy Online. I didn't have any money, I was a starving student. You know how they say you can still win without spending, but you have to invest more time? Well it was still true in 2009 but that's probably why IGG retired GO and rolled out the inferior GO2 which was impossibly P2W. The rest of the industry followed suit if they weren't there already.

In order to be the top player I played round the clock in addition to being really good at these sorts of games. Ultimately the only way the other team could beat my team was if they could attack me while I was sleeping. So they attacked me literally constantly 24 hours a day. I trained myself to sleep with the volume turned up and to automatically wake up (I lucid dream) if the attack ping frequency exceeded a certain rate. This indicated that it was probably hundreds of players attacking me simultaneously in a real attack, instead of the usual background fakes.

The result was continually elevated cortisol levels over a period of weeks. I had heart "wobbling" for hours every day that felt like premature ventricular contractions which I knew was not by itself immediately life threatening (this was during an 18 year period where I didn't have health insurance, but I previously taught cardiac rehab) for me as long as the PVC's did not get too close together. [Again, I must emphasize that if you get chest discomfort during extended game play, you should seek emergency medical attention immediately] I also developed a very unusual auto immune reaction that, after being misdiagnosed three times, caused an Ebola-like reaction that almost killed me while spraying blood in all directions. Cortisol interferes with proper immune function. I knew I had to quit and I did and my faction was overrun shortly thereafter on that server. Looking back, I was pretty lucky I didn't die back in 2009. I can get a little competitive and now I generally avoid playing FPS's or real time competitive games like World of Tanks even while I am in studios making them. This has caused me to be laid off from more than a couple jobs because "Ramin just wasn't into our game" or "part of the team". The truth of the matter is that I'm really good at these sorts of games but for my health I need to be very cautious about not getting sucked into them again on that level.

The most dangerous kinds of games in existence now are those that put you under threat while you are offline. Other than Galaxy Online (and GO2), the games I mention in this article are not those kinds of games. This class of game includes some of the most highly marketed games in the world including games advertised during this year's Super Bowl. The problem is that they encourage you not to sleep. The idea is that if they can keep you playing, they can keep you paying. They also charge you to sleep through the use of "Shields" that prevent you from being attacked for 8 hours or more. Honestly, it's cheaper in the long run (even if you get free medical care) to pay for one of those shields every night and that cost should be factored in if you want to see what the real cost to play is for these "free to play" games.

Some of these games are very popular with children, are made with cartoonish graphics, and are made simplistic enough to be played by even very young children.

Peer Effects can also backfire, encouraging players to play much longer than they otherwise would. This was a problem in both of the situations linked to here. It used to be that in the past these sorts of deaths were much more common in Asia than in the West. There they tend to play in internet cafes where there is an audience, especially if the player is good. This sort of attention can make you play longer, and pay more. This is a big part of why pay to win performs so much better in the East than it does in the West. In the West we play alone which causes us to have more anxiety, depression, mental illness, drug abuse, and we don't spend as much on F2P. But we are also less likely to "play till we drop".

Twitch and the era of eSports (which I've certainly been working to promote) might be changing that. If a player has an audience while they play, are paid for that audience, and there is anxiety that if they stop broadcasting at any time they will lose audience, then there is strong pressure to not leave the seat. Strong pressure to use stimulants. Strong pressure to ignore those warning signals the body is sending. Players could self regulate but that's probably not going to happen as long as the business and social model rewards them for entering the danger zone.

Amazon (the owner of Twitch) could introduce play caps for those they are paying, similar to what airline pilots have for their work hours. Educating them with something similar to this article might also help too. Have they had a physical? I'm not sure if the lawyers would feel this would limit or enhance their exposure, that's really beyond my expertise. My concern is player safety.

Personally, as a designer, I obviously want to be successful. I realize that getting players more engaged, for longer periods, might mean a lot more money for me especially if I am receiving a royalty. I just can't do this in a way that will jeopardize player health. I can't feign ignorance, this is my area of expertise. On my last project (that reached market) where I used secret sauce to improve commercial performance, I only had 10 weeks to build the meta game for World of Tanks Blitz. That product has become the world's top grossing F2P mobile eSports game and is now going multi-platform.

For my next project, which is completely of my design, I'm going to change some things. I'm lowering the adrenal axis stimulation to put less stress on players and require lower levels of engagement. This will allow the game to be played in a much wider range of environments and conditions. It will also allow it to be played longer with lower cortisol levels. At the same time I am introducing new Peer Effect technologies that should make order-of-magnitude changes to how engaged players feel to the game environment even with those lower cortisol levels.

The risk here is that if we use science (especially neuroscience) to making games vastly more engaging than they are now, we could put player health at risk. This process has already begun all over the world in many if not most leading game development studios. Thus my design has built in mechanisms to cut the player off when they've had too much. Sort of like a bar does if a patron drinks too much. I also anticipate warning players not to try to bypass these protections in creative fashion. I won't reward them for it, certainly. Designing these controls has taken me just as many years as designing the lures. If I didn't do this, I fear that if I am as successful as I would like to be then I could harm people. I realize others won't really care and may copy my future designs without these protections. My hope is that consumers will avoid these products if they have a more consumer friendly alternative, and that by that time regulators and platform operators (and of course lawyers) will be sufficiently sophisticated about these technologies that they will be able to intervene.

In an effort to promote consumer and medical education in this area, I'm determined to open source as much as I can about my methods if they prove to be effective. Thus I've been very careful over the last five years when signing agreements with companies to make sure I still maintain ownership of my technologies even while lending them out.