#then again I was uh… not doing well in 2019 sooooo

[pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace]

Just a fun lil addition to CXG appreciation week for outfits day. Do I have a problem? Maybe, but bless Melina Root for educating this short yet large chested gal on how to dress. 😂

Everything was bought steeply discounted on Poshmark or Mercari - the Diagnosis dress was the hardest to find and the one I was willing to spend the most money on. Yellow is not normally my color, but wearing it just feels like sunshine. 🥰

Real posts for day 2 and 3 coming later (my brother is getting married on Friday so I’m gonna be behind), plus I’m seeing Vinnie’s solo show tonight and will hopefully have some fun things to share!

[residentlesbrarian]

The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities

Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee

Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?

Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!

It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!

I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.

McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.

Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.

Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.

Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.

The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!

One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.

My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.

Queer Wrap-up:

Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.

So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.

Links:

Shannon McGee Website

The Storygraph

Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”

Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!

[lady-tortilla-chip]

30 Question tag game! Answer 30 questions and tag 20 people you’d like to get to know better!

I was tagged by @wspaceblog!

1. Name: A nickname of mine is Kodi!

2. Gender: I’m a lady!

3. Star Sign: Virgo!

4. Height: ....I’m 4’8 😔

5. Birthday August 27th!

6. Favorite Bands: Bruh, I’m huge on Evanescence. Like, I enjoy music from other bands but this one always whipped out 100% good shit. Though I enjoy others such as Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Mumford And Sons (also 100% good shit), Of Monsters And Men, Paramore, The Fray, Shinedown, Pvris, and uuuh thats all I can think of atm!

7. Favorite Solo Artists: Lights, Halsey, Lana Del Rey, P!nk, Aimer, Sia, Camila Cambello, and some YouTube cover artists!

8. Song Stuck In My Head: Broken with Au/ra.

9. Last Movie: .....ya uh...I just don’t know about this one, I don’t watch movies often. XD

10. Last Show: Demon Slayer! Been watching it with mah mom and that’s been awesome because she’s got the BEST reactions to everything. I also rewatched Aot so I could catch up and BOY my eruri shippin heart was destroyed. But I wouldn’t have forgiven Levi if he’d made a different choice sooooo. 😅 mixed feels about that.

11. When Did I Create This Blog: erm, April of 2019 I think...😬

12. What Do I Post: Too much. ATLA, BSD, And MCU get most of my attention but other things slide in every now and again. Also cats. Because cats rock.

13. Other Blogs: I have none! Everything I care to talk about or share goes here! Thus the chaos!

14. Do I Get Asks: Yes I do! Not regularly but occasionally someone asks me something! It’s nice when I get asked for my opinion on stuff actually cuz I always appreciate the excuse to talk about fandom!

15. Why I Chose This URL: ...it sounded funny in mah head and looked funny written. 🤷‍♀️

16. Following: 88! Pretty sure I interact with most of them too. Well. The active folks.

17. Followers: 958! 😱 Massive number, don’t know why y’all hang out here. 😅 

18. Average Hours Of Sleep: idk??? 5 hours??? Varies from night to night tbh.

19. Lucky Number: .........3(?)

20. What I’m Currently Wearing: Wine red t-shirt (but it’s for a lady therefore making it ridiculously form fitting) and deep blue lounge pants.

21. Dream Job: Writer! Serious writer who finishes the stuff she starts!

22. Dream Trip: tbh I’ve grown to not care so much about travel. I did when I was younger and had never been anywhere but idk I don’t really have the desire to travel as of right now. Maybe later down the road when I feel more secure where I am, I could imagine something like that. I know, that’s a lame answer. 😅

23. Favorite Food: HM I’ll say Coffee!

24. Nationality: American

25. Favorite Song: NO. This isn’t something I can answer. I like too many songs for all kinds of reasons to choose just one. Evil question. Me no likey.

26. Last Book I Read: I’m reading two poetry books, last one I picked up was Wild Embers by Nikita Gill!

27. Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: Forever and always wanted to somehow exist in the ATLA world. Otherwise? I have no interest in living in any other world. This one is fine. :)

I’m tagging whoever comes to mind first and that MAY amount to twenty but idk: @stargirl720, @voodoosgirl1, @athina39, @aucatgirl, @irresistible-revolution, @thinkingisadangerouspastime, @the-wholesome-ranpo, @soukokujustmakesmesohappy, @sapphire-rosa, @scrumptiousdefendorofaang, @lavenderboneswrites, @foxy-knowledgeseeker, @queenjanai ....aaaand anyone of my followers who wants to! 

[bloggingwithaditya]

The Rain: “Changed Me”

HI,

SEPT 12, 2019 days were not much hot but they do have moderate felling of a little and a sweet coldness in them thus making them more pleasant than usual, as always I was on my bed having a zero motivation of stepping away from my turf(duh, my bed) and this weather, this intoxicating feeling that makes me more dizzy than usual, so I have sworn myself to not give up my bed for the whole day, I’ll just plug in my air pods and let the music do the rest. Lo-fi music with a smell of rain in the wind, barging in my room through the window. I don't know if this is a thing or maybe it's with me, I can easily sense when the rain is gonna come and also this time I was a hundred percent sure that it’s gonna be rain in a few. 

Guess what, I was right, it was raining and "ugh" I was out tea leaves and sugar, milk, technically everything because where there is rain, there have to be a cup of tea and I am out of every raw material which is required to make "chai". So I had to give up my turf and run some errands for the goods. so I was there at the baldy "baldy because the owner of the shop was bald and rude and yeah the most interesting part, his forehead can also be used as a prism if needed because that damn head can spread light to 7 colors" and guess what by the I was gonna head out of the baldy, there was the rain that appeared out of nowhere and I was the most depressed one out of the fifteen ones standing beside me, because they are no waiting for the tea, I was. Few minutes were passed and that smirk baldy comes next to me whispered in my ear saying "waiting for the tea, huh".

That was time, that particular moment when my whole body and soul was both trembling and shouting saying "I am gonna smash that convex egg-head of his but my sight was stolen by an appearance which was outside, outside in the rain cherished, that particular soul was feeling the opposite of what I was feeling. It was free, free from everything not in shackles of depression, anxiety or heart-break. Every step that person took, the step was not counted, not bounded by thoughts. My eyes were stuck on that thing dancing in the rain, like a droplet moving on a leaf, like a fish in a clear pond. How's that thing is so happy, not a sense of fear or getting sick or being hit by lightning, how is that possible, that a human being in a state of blunder moving around so freely, people were watching they all were talking about him, are they talking about him or they are just no watching that soul move from one place to the other, like a dog with a ball.

My mind was powerhouse of unpredictable thoughts, like a beehive of random assumption about things which were not even there or will gonna happen if I do this or say this and now, that is what we call "over-thinking people", every word I say is weighed evenly, every step of mine was counted, thoughts were bounded by the shackles of unpredictable society "what will all these people gonna think about me".

My eyes were stuck on that human dancing outside in the rain, happy. I was crying inside because i was craving for my tea and this idiot baldy is beside me passing weird statements about his daughter success in making clay pots. I want to know why is this human making fun of itself in front of all this public, staring with their beaming eyes or are they staring, I don't know but this person have to stop. I simply left my bad on the counter and started to advance towards that human, still I was shivering on the inside doubting my every move, every step was leading me towards my end, my mind is turning again into that beehive which was numb till the time I was on my turf. Inner I was shouting, stop it you are not meant for this just stay where you were before, abort your mission of help, just stop.

I know what I was doing was completely suicidal in my head but that person was in this cold weather, as well as this rain is also sooooo cold. I stopped myself a little before that dancing human and for the first time I had an eye contact with this person and I get to know that the eyes were a little hazelnut-ish, the person was continuously watching me stand there in humiliation of people who were staring me continuously with an awe. "They are watching you and now me, could you please come down there because you'll gonna catch cold or maybe the lightning gonna smash your head, so please come down there and make yourself dry.

"Do you have eyes on the back of your head" "uh, no" "then how could you know that they are watching us or they a talking about us" "but, they are gonna watch, your stupidity and me here out of courtesy to stop you" "but why, why do you came here in the first place, why do you think that these people are watching and judging us out of the blue, why do you think that whatever I am doing out in the open is gonna humiliate me, because I don't know you and I am pretty sure you as well don't know me, why risk to come all the way in this rain in front of me with a numerous glares behind" "(with a raised voice) because I want to know why are you doing this, why are you so free, don't you feel the humiliation from all these people, all of them are judging you from top to bottom about your clothes, your physical features, your eyes, your weight and every minute detail they gonna catch to make yourself pity, how come you don’t feel all this, how", because I want to live.

"My mind was stunned with the statement that the human said, there is nothing wrong with the line this person just said, all he did, was stating the obvious, the obvious I was dodging this whole time, the obvious I was so afraid to accept, because it's just obvious that I do wanna live out in the open again. That particular moment was the one where I first cried in my whole life after the 4th standard, I cried like a baby whose mother was misplaced in the crowd and who was all alone there waiting for that that support he desperately needed, just the touch. And there was this hand on my shoulder, that warm hand awaiting to bless a broken soul who is waiting for the light. There was the Shekhar uncle (Baldy), watching me with a glare, but there was something different with that glare, he was smiling and cherished just to see me being a nutcase with eyes all wet and red from crying, he asked:  

"Hey, want some tea because I am making some using your goods and I have a towel for you just soak yourself dry ok" "but you have a shop with all the supplies" "yeah, but I am making one for you also as well" "no issues but also make one for this guy, this stupid guy dancing out in this heavy rain like a peacock" "wait, what! for whom, your head must be short circuited from this rain because you were the only nutcase out here in this heavy rain, talking to himself, shouting and crying for god knows what reason" "oi you old man, just look at this foolish guy here". There was no guy out there, nobody was dancing, I was the only one standing alone in the open road.

"Just come with me have some tea, sit down at that bench and everything’s going to be okay": SHEKHAR (Baldy)

[butterbeeryuta]

chenle as your best friend

ok so like the 2 of you met when ya'll were about 6-7 at some summer art programme

at that age, you just liked to see colour on paper regardless if it looked shit or not.

NOW, chenle sits beside you right and he notices be doesn't have a blue crayon with him, but omg! you have it (a/n: cries in cliché)

so this kid who's prob wearing the finest clothes from head to toe just grabs your blue crayon from the tray— and boy are you annoyed and angry

'hey you could've at least asked!'

'well can I use the blue crayon?'

'oh... i guess yeah'

lmao you were such an awkward bean (still are)

anyway after the whole crayon thing, you were waiting for your mum/dad/guardian to pick you up, and so was chenle. chenle then sat beside you again and ya'll just started talking and playing together

ya'll were in different schools. but that didn't stop the 2 of you to meet each other on almost e v e r y weekened, like

'hey i got the uno machine, wanna play on saturday?'

'chenle i have test on monday'

'it's an uno machine'

'okay yeah sure.'

so when ya'll were like 11-13 (puberty ew), ppl started questioninh your friendship and was asking if it's mORe than that— but lol it's not

you just enjoyed having each other around since ya'lls characters balances out so well; chenle is far far more loud, cheerful, and optimistic. whereas you're more on the 'serious' side and usually stays quiet— but you have a galaxy brain soOooO

so whenever ppl do ask, the two of you say 'no,' but then again,,,, who tf will take 'no' for an answer

SO 15-16, zhong chenle moved to korea to be a part of nct dream, and it was painful for the two of you

you went to drop him off at the airport, and he promised to you that he'll try to message and call you as much as possible while you hug him tightly cause you really don't want him to go even though you know he deserves it and it's just pure emo hours at this point

so during his training years he tells you all the good tea like 'omg there's like 6 chinese members here whoAaaa' 'yo yo yo there's this guy named taeyong andD HE IS SO COOL WHOAAAAAA' and it's so cute and ur really happy he's having fun, but you do miss him a lot

eventually chenle also misses you a lot, and he starts to tell renjun, winwin, and basically everyone about how he misses his best friend y/n ~soft~ hours are open

CHENLE DEBUTS YEy. you're having like severe palpitations rn cause that's ur fucking best friend living his dream like yEAH!!!! you tell your parents, your friend group, your chemistry tutor, your dog, the cashier— EVERYONE god you're annoying skjskjdkssk

you message chenle a LOT!

'DUDE WTF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT'

'goddamn ya'll look so cute and the song does nOT help'

'also is that the jeno guy? he really cute 🤭'

but ofc, he's busy. and yeah, he hasn't been responding as much as before. although you understood his busy schedule, you can't help but feel disappointed and sad.

BUT, whenever he does get time, i promise you he apologises and calls you whenever he can. chenle is a sweetheart, he'd never betray you like that.

OK SO FAST FORWARD TO 2019 BOOM ERA

so like any other typical fic, you managed to book yourself to korea and surprise your best friend for his birthdayyyyy

over the years you got to know renjun a lot through messages and calls since he always joins chenle when ya'll call each other so yeah— renjun is THAT guy

kneeways, you and renjun talked abt the plans, the cakes, and even helped you with korean so that you'd be able to talk to the rest of the members (and maybe jeno if ur confident enough but let's be honest, they've ALL become gorgeous humans you must be insanse to think you'd be able to talk to them casually)

you've arrived in gimpo airport, renjunnie arranged someone to pick you up— and it's time to surprise your best friend lele

so yeah while jisung and chenle were filming, you got to help out with the decorations and stuff with the rest of the dreamies.

the boys were all so nice to you despite the language barrier,

'AHHH so ur the friend chenle keeps talking about, do you know any shit that he does so we can use it to blackmail him or some—'

'haechan it's his birthday, calm the fuck down for one second.' renjun being the true dom he is

OkaYY SO THEY COMING and you were panicking cause you havent seen him in years and you werent sure what to do and just before they came in ofc you tripped

chenle started laughing and screaming. he was so overwhelmed with the surprise, until he saw you flat on the floor probably moaning in pain

'Y/nnnNnnnNNN??!' THE KID IS SHOOK

'Uh yeah, listen i wanna give you a hug and all but help your friend out'

he immediately went over to you and helped u up and ya'LL just hugged and like he lifted you up a little and he's just so happy rn and he doesnt know what to do except to hold you

'AWWWWWWWWWW' -00 line

you genuinely start crying cause you missed his chaotic and happy ass so much. you looked up at him and you can tell he's changed so much. you saw from pics that he has changed, but you didnt fully acknowledge how much he grew up.

he starts laughing at your emotional and crying state and hugs you even more— it's all cute stuff at this point

'okay uhh i know ya'll miss each other and stuff, but chenle your cake is gonne melt' - park jisung, 2019

ya'll celebrated, ya'll spilled stories about each other, and everyone just had a good time

'jeno hyung y/n has a crush on you'

that little fucker

chenle couldnt have been happier, and neither could you

a/n: okay please hate me all you want i've been silent for so fucking long. university applications have started and i have to meet deadlines and shit so yeah, i've been prioritising my school work these days. laces and things WILL continue from December onwards cause i'll be on break then, so please stay patient. also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LELE. he's been my bias in dream for god knows how long, and he's such a loving and cute guy, how can you not love him. i hope you had the best birthday with the ppl who genuinely deserve you.

[riotwritesthings]

Kinktober 2019 Day 7

Praise-kink | Aphrodisiacs

WinterIron, E, 2.1k | AO3

Prompt found here

This one ended up going not at all where I planned for it too, and I’m note sure I even sure I really hit either of the prompts, but I like how it turned out sooooo here you go!

-

Tony answers the soft knock at his door to find Bucky looking sheepish and a little embarrassed, which is never a good sign. "I broke something," Bucky says by way of greeting.

"Okay," Tony says, because they live in a compound full of super powered crazy people and something breaking is not exactly unusual. "Was it the toaster again?" He prods when Bucky doesn't provide any further information.

"Uh, one of those little trinkets Thor is always bringing back from Asgard," Bucky says, and then immediately holds his hands up like he just knows Tony is about to panic. Which is fair, everyone knows how Tony feels about anything magic or magic-adjacent. "It's fine-"

"That doesn't sound fine!" Tony interrupts, voice a little shrill.

"I'm fine," Bucky promises, smiling a little like he somehow finds Tony's nervous, panicky twitching adorable even as he shakes his head. "Thor said it's some kind of dumb party toy, similar effect as alcohol. 'More or less'." Bucky shrugs, smile dimming a little, and Tony feels a little better that at least Bucky also seems less than thrilled at that half-assed explanation. "He told me to go sleep it off, but I just-" Bucky shrugs, then looks back at Tony with a small, heart stopping smirk, "kinda wanted to see you."

Tony is definitely blushing, he knows it, he gave up on trying to stop it about a week into dating Bucky. At this point he's just hoping that eventually he'll get used to Bucky being quietly charming at him and he'll stop going bright red all the time. It hasn't happened yet but hey, a guy can dream. ''Well don't I feel special," Tony says, aiming for teasing but missing because yeah, he does feel pretty special. With a soft huff of laugher Tony finally steps back to let Bucky into his suite, closing the door behind him. Still, Tony can't resist asking "you're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah,” Bucky says, but then he gives a half hearted shrug and kind of grimaces. “I feel... kinda weird, but otherwise fine."

“Weird how? What is it? Should I call someone?” Tony is instantly on high alert and this, this is why Tony hates magic with every fiber of his being. What the hell does 'kinda weird' mean, and how the hell is Tony supposed to help with that?

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, frowning a little, then looks at Tony and abruptly smiles again, big and wide and just- wow. There should be a health warning on a smile like that. “I feel... good. Like- happy. Relaxed.”

In other circumstance, it might be hilariously sad that Bucky finds feeling happy and relaxed 'weird', but Tony is trying not to focus on that right now. The upside is that happy and relaxed does in fact sound similar to the effect of alcohol, so Tony is doing his best to not freak out. “Anything else?”

Bucky seems to be seriously considering the question, and then his grin gets a little wider and he crowds up against Tony as he says "mm, also kinda horny."

"Well that doesn't mean anything, you're always horny," Tony points out, laughing a little and finally starting to consider that maybe something isn't about to go horribly wrong. Bucky grins as well and doesn't argue, just presses himself up against Tony from chest to hip and oh hello, that's Bucky's hard cock pressing into Tony's hip. "No wonder you came looking for me."

"That's not why," Bucky says, rolling his eyes a little even though the way he's rocking his hips against Tony's in small motions really isn't helping sell his point. Bucky raises his hands and cups Tony's face between his big warm palms, and before Tony can decide if he should sputter in indignation or just straight up swoon Bucky is talking again. "I just wanted to see you. Always wanna see you."

"Um," Tony says, because he is not emotionally prepared for whatever is happening here. Bucky can usually be described in one word, and that word is 'quiet'. Sure he talks, but he uses minimal words and 90% of what he says is dry sarcasm. Tony loves it. But this is something new, Bucky never just walks in and volunteers up how he's feeling and Tony is starting to get that 'oncoming disaster' feeling again.

“You worry too much,” Bucky says, still with that soft, fond smile that Tony doesn’t know what to do with. Bucky’s eyes are a little bright but otherwise clear, and he certainly looks lucid as he carefully drags his thumb over Tony’s lower lip. “I feel fine, baby doll, I promise."

“Well I’m still going to worry,” Tony says with a pout, but doesn’t pull away from Bucky cupping his face oh so carefully, "you're not the boss of me."

“I know you are,” Bucky says, smiling a little wider and totally ignoring Tony's attempt at grumpiness. “You’re always worryin’ over someone. You’re kinda amazing like that.”

Tony is too stunned to do anything but stare at Bucky stupidly for a couple long seconds, because sure Tony claims how amazing he is all the time, but people never agree with him. And who told him that Tony is a big ol’ worrier, anyways? That’s supposed to be a secret. Bucky leans in to kiss him and Tony presses into it instantly, because he will need to be a lot worse that shocked and worried to not want to kiss Bucky. Like possibly dead.

“Such a good heart,” Bucky says when he pulls away, shifting one hand so he can drag his lips along the line of Tony’s jaw, “‘s what I love about you.”

Forget blushing, Tony is now worried that he's having a full on heart attack. They’ve only been dating a couple months, and Bucky said love, and sure Tony’s been head-over-heels and pining like a moron for way longer than he’II ever admit, but Bucky said ‘love,’ and that’s- “I’m gonna go find Thor,” Tony blurts, stepping back a little because no, something is clearly going on here and he can’t fall into the trap.

“Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for,” Bucky says, still with that small grin as his metal hand drops to Tony’s hip, holding on and keeping him close. Tony has been half-hard since Bucky first got all up in his space, and this is really not helping his effort to think clearly.

“There’s clearly something going on here!” Tony insists, placing his hands on Bucky’s shoulders with full intentions to push him away. Any second now. Bucky gets that little furrow between his eyebrows that Tony quickly started calling his ‘Tony is being mean to himself’ face. ”You broke a mysterious magical who-knows-what!” Tony feels the need to point out because this isn’t about him and his crippling insecurities, it's about the fact that Bucky is probably cursed and therefore spewing nonsense.

Instead of admitting that Tony is probably totally right and they should go seek professional help right away, Bucky backs Tony in against the wall beside the door and ducks down so he can press their foreheads together. “Is it really that crazy that I think you’re amazing?” Bucky asks, voice soft and just a little sad, “that I love you? Because I do. You’re incredible, and brave, and so kind and- god, Tony, how could I not love you?”

Tony’s face feels like its on fire at this point, and oh he wants so badly to believe what Bucky is saying, but... “You broke the magical Asgard thing,” Tony says again, but his voice is weak, and he’s definitely just clinging to Bucky’s shoulders now.

“I’m not cursed, or whatever you’re thinking,” Bucky says with his own annoyed huff, “I’m just... honest. I’ve felt this way for a long, long time, Tony, I just- I could never get the words out.” Bucky strokes his thumb over Tony’s cheek again, so gentle, like Tony is something terribly important. “But you... you should know. How amazing you are. How much I love you.”

And Tony’s not crying, okay, he’s absolutely not crying. It’s just that his face is flushed and his eyes are wet and his chest is tight for a totally different reason. “Oh,” Tony says eloquently, blinking a couple times in a desperate attempt to clear his vision. “I- I love you, too,” he admits, voice barely more than a breath but it’s so, so worth it when Bucky smiles brightly at him.

“I know” Bucky says, and then kisses him before Tony can squawk at him. And it's so easy for Tony to lose himself in just being kissed, to let Bucky press him fully up against the wall and slot their hips together just right, Bucky's thick thigh pressing between his own. Because Bucky loves him, thinks he's amazing and just thinking about it makes Tony feel tingly all over.

By the time Bucky pulls away again Tony has kind of lost the thread of the conversation, so it takes him a second to catch up as Bucky says "how could I not know? You're so good to me, baby. So thoughtful, and considerate. Nobody loves as hard as you, sweet thing, and I wouldn't change a thing about you. You're so perfect, Tony."

Oh great, now Tony is trying not to burst into tears again, like he's some kind of big dumb sap who never hears nice things. Even worse, with the way his hips are pressed up snug against Bucky's there's no way to hide how Tony's cock gives a hard twitch at the words, filling quickly and robbing Tony of the last of his brain power. "I'm totally blaming you next time someone says my ego is out of control," Tony says and he doesn't even care that his voice comes out breathy and weak.

"I think we both know it’s not," Bucky says, shifting so his thigh is snug against Tony's cock, his own erection tucked up against Tony's hip. He drops kisses along Tony's jaw, hint of teeth, and then speaks directly into Tony's ear, low and filthy, as he says "I can stroke your ego if you want, though." He rolls his hips forward pointedly, presses his thigh harder against Tony's cock and yep, he's fully hard now.

Tony groans and shivers all over, grabbing tighter at Bucky's shoulders. "Oh my god," Tony says, shaky and desperate, "you- are you sure you're not cursed?"

Bucky laughs quietly, his breath hot against the shell of Tony's ear. "Promise, baby, I just love you," he says and presses a kiss to Tony's jaw, starts rolling their hips together in a steady rhythm. "Love you so much, been driving myself crazy wanting to tell you how perfect you are."

Tony whimpers embarrassingly and he just knows his entire body must be flushed bright red by now. He also knows that he doesn't care at all, doesn't ever want Bucky to stop. Tony hitches one thigh up around Bucky's waist, braces his back against the wall for a better angle and moans when the next roll of Bucky's hips puts the perfect amount of pressure on his aching cock. "Bucky, sweetheart- "

"Love the way you sound, the way you say my name," Bucky groans out, his voice low and rough and still right in Tony's ear, driving him crazy. "Can't get enough of you, sweet thing, you feel so good, so good to me."

And it's a little ridiculous, they're still right inside the door of Tony's suite, dry humping against the wall like they don't have easy access to a bed, or even the couch. And Tony is absolutely going to come like this, Bucky's thick thigh pressed against his cook, Bucky whispering sweetly in his ear. "Bucky, Bucky, I'm-"

"Yes," Bucky growls, "let me hear you, gorgeous." He presses his hips forward hard, pins Tony up against the wall and grinds into him as he gently cups Tony's face in one hand again. "You're so amazing, Tony," he says in a soft growl, scrapes his teeth over Tony's jaw, "you do so much for everyone, let me take care of you. Let me take you apart."

Tony comes with a moan that's uncomfortably close to a sob, fingers digging into Bucky's shoulders and his thighs clenching around Bucky's as his orgasm crashes over him. Everything goes warm and fuzzy and amazing for a second, and Tony is only dimly aware of Bucky's hard cock still pressed into his hip, Bucky still thrusting against him until he comes with a low groan.

"Wow," Tony finally says, blinking dumbly as his brain comes back online. He lets his leg drop back to the floor as Bucky tucks his face into Tony's neck and runs soothing hands down Tony's sides. "I love you," Tony says again, because he can, because it's such a relief after holding it in for so long.

After a second of thought, Tony adds "I still don't like magic, though."

Bucky laughs against his throat.

[skz-candy]

confrontation #2

December 5th, 2019 - 12:04 am

Candy sat on the couch with her notebook, rereading things she had written within the last year. It really had been a hell of a ride for her. She had kissed Yedam, dated Jeongin, broke up with Jeongin, had a fling with Seungmin, left for three months, developed/realized feelings for Jisung, Jisung started fake dating Ryujin, Candy forgave him for doing that. It wasn't even Christmas time yet.

She wanted to write the day's events already, as they would likely be the same as the day before and the day before that. She would spend all day avoiding Jisung, which meant being with Felix for hours. It was kind of driving her crazy. Watching TikToks and scouring for memes and watching him stare longingly at Changbin to for once give the boy some credit for the way he raps. Felix was so much fun, and such a good listener. He was also loud and fun and vibrant at all times. Candy preferred being alone then with everyone, but Felix had dragged her along the past two days no matter what. She was prepared for that to happen again.

"Oh, sorry," Jisung said, making her drop her pen. "I didn't know anyone was up. I'll just-"

"You can come watch TV if you want," Candy grabbed her pen. "I'm not doing anything important."

"Honestly, you looked pretty deep in thought," Jisung sat down a couple feet from her, grabbing the remote. "Sure you aren't writing a song?"

"I do that in my room or the studio," she rolled her eyes.

"You haven't been to the studio the past two nights because I was there. And Felix fell asleep in your room tonight, right?" Jisung let out a breath. "Did you mean it when you said you forgave me?"

"I've been asking myself that question," Candy traced her name one her notebook with her finger. "Did I actually forgive you? Did I want to run and hide from the situation, which is what I did after ward? Did I want to look like the better person in front of every one?"

"Did you mean it or not?"

"I don't know, Jisung," Candy shrugged, pausing her finger. "I want to, I want to believe I did because there's no use in being mad at you. You told us last night that Ryujin managed to convince everyone a break up would be good press too. So you did what you planned, anyway. You didn't ever really lie to her."

"But I lied to you, Candace," Jisung moved closer, putting the remote behind him. "Do you forgive me for lying to you?"

Candy looked up at him with her eyes stinging with tears, "I don't know. I don't know. Am I supposed to? Should I? I keep seeing your face when you told me you were sorry over and over again. You were scared and tired and overwhelmed with all of us coming for your throat at the same time. I wanted to make you feel better, like someone was on your side even when it didn't seem like it. I don't know if I actually forgave you, but I don't hate you. I'm not mad, and I-"

"And you what?" He moved closer, his thigh touching her toes. She curled into the corner slightly.

"I, uh, I still. . ."

"Candace, please," Jisung grabbed her notebook and tossed it onto the floor, taking her head into his hands. "I need to hear you say it."

"Say what?" Candy held her breath as Jisung leaned his forehead against hers.

"Am I interrupting?" Chan asked as he came in, making the two pull apart.

"We didn't hear you come in," Candy said, grabbing her notebook off the ground.

"Clearly," Chan slid his shoes off, as well as his jacket and bag.

"How'd it go?" Jisung turned to look at him. "Since I wasn't there it must have been sooooo rough."

"Oh, Bin and I missed your face so much," Chan held a hand to his heart. "We made a song about it."

"Please sing it," Candy smiled, urging Chan to continue.

"Okay, okay," Chan cleared his throat. "Jisung has a stupid face-"

"Hey!" Jisung got up, chasing Chan around the living room as he sang about how stupid Jisung's face was, making Candy laugh as hard as she ever had.

Eventually Chan left, leaving Candy and Jisung across the couch again. They were staring at each other, small smiles on each of their faces. Candy's eyes widened as Jisung came over to her, laying down with his head in her lap.

"You don't have to say it yet," Jisung closed his eyes. "Saying it to one another is scary, but I can wait until you're ready."

Candy hummed softly, running her hands through his hair. Jisung was asleep in moments, leaving Candy to her thoughts once again. She wouldn't mind ending 2019 with someone, especially if that someone is Jisung.

[dxntloseurhead]

SIX HIGHLIGHTS 11/09/2019 EDMONTON

these won't be completely in order bc ill think of different things as i go

also sorry this is late

- costumes!!! shoes!!! sparkly!!! - THERES A SELFIE WALL OUTSIDE THE THEATRE - oh my god the EYE CONTACT and the INTERACTION i was not prepared for that - that moment when you're in the theatre and you're sitting there and you realize oh my god this isn't a dream im actually right here - the stage was SO CLOSE oh my god the queens were literally right in front of us my gay heart couldn't handle it - i said this already but literally almost the entirety of ex wives (and later in the show but mainly ex wives) there was SO MUCH EYE CONTACT - "remember us from pbs?" - sam did a britney voice on “k-howard is here and the fun’s begun” and i,,,,, - sorry i don’t have much to say about no way other than it Slaps - andrea’s boleyn is the most Babey and i stand by that. - during dluh after "he doesn't wanna bang you, somebody hang you!" aragon stormed off to bessie and started complaining, and bessie just proceeded to shrug - literally in that moment bessie was the real version of the  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoji - “wait! what was i meant to do?” ACTUAL CUTIE ANDREA MACASAET EVERYONE - andrea does a voice that sounds like crytyping out loud on “i’m sorry not sorry ‘bout what i said” at the end of the second chorus - also “I’M NOT SORRY!” at the end,,, beautiful - MALLORY'S. PERFORMANCE. AS. SEYMOUR. I. NEARLY. CRIED. SHE'S SO GOOD. - howard looked so genuinely upset during the song like she was super affected by it - haus of holbein is hilarious live oh my god - THE LADIES IN WAITING DIDNT HAVE RUFFS(?) BUT THEY DID HAVE SUNGLASSES I- - sam adjusted her sunglasses downwards and looked over them at some point i don't remember exactly which line (i think it was "at least your complexion will bring all the boys in"?) and oh my GOD i wasn't ready - also sam sang the line “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” and its like the only line in the song that isnt in a german accent. instead, she sounded like a stereotypical commercial saleswoman and it KILLED ME - oh!!! anna and sam respectively were the other possible matches before anna in the tinder parody portion - get down????????? even more of a bop - the length of the pause after “as he takes my fur”... it literally lasted like half a minute before they resumed the song and the audience kept cheering and laughing while the queens were like “?????????” - WHEN BRITT DID THE OPERA THING I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I WAS STILL SHOOK - she asked a group of three on the other side of the front row to dance and did they EVER (but then after she was like "this is MY song") - “so that’s one horse out of the race!” “rude.” - MALLORY’S BABY MARY BIT KILLED ME OH MY GOD IT WAS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY - “babes! who’s that again?” “uh, i think she was the least relevant catherine.” “ohhhh, i still don’t care.” - in her speech roasting the other queens before aywd, howard says "hot" instead of "fit" just in case you wanted to know! - speaking of that speech i l o v e d it so much - also “and surviving.” is directed to both cleves and parr - i knew aywd was intense but goddamn i wasn't ready i almost cried for a second time - during about the third chorus or so, howard started to look so tired and was less and less enthusiastic with the choreo - i knew about the pink light after the song but damn that hit hard also it looks cool as fuck - *long pause* “...and then i was beheaded.” - “i’m sorry, were you not listening to my song? there were four choruses. that’s how much sh- i had to deal with!” - the queens all talk over each other making fun of parr after the “i’m catherine parr and i draw the line in arbitrary places” line. - “i know, gold star for cathy parr.” - “yeah, tudor womanhood. would recommend!” - oh my god idnyl was sooooo good i love anna’s voice its so pretty - THE WAY SHE SANG “it’s what i have to do” OH MY G O D - also “darling get a clue!” - the entire “remember that i was a writer” part as well as the way she sings “we all disappear”... yes, just yes - late comment but i love anna’s parr hair, it’s not the usual parr hair and it looks so good on her - “okay, why does anyone know who we are?” “my sixth finger!” “put it away, babe.” - “we don’t know!” “catherine de valois- i mean we don’t know!” - “and get down like it’s 1499.” - “the dissolution of the monasteries, yes!” “no.” - such a long pause before the “fake competition” part just before the idnyl remix... - “awwww, we could’ve done that as a song!” - god their voices all just go together so well,,, - anna’s “WE DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE!” is so great - “edmonton, we have a voice!” *beat* “we said, we have a *riffs incredibly* VOICE!” - “his religious reforms?” “well actually-” “now’s not the time, catherine!” - the slow beginning of six is so pretty...... why didnt they do it like this on the album - “yeah! aragon, you wanna go first?” “well girl, i guess i could for a change” - the queens hyping up cleves before her verse has always been my favourite thing seriously it’s so cute - the way sam sang “and all i do is SIIIIING”,,,,,,,, i love her - the irony of “before we drop the curtain” considering the curtain literally gets pulled down at the beginning of the show - THE CONFETTI POP AT THE END OF SIX SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BUT IT WAS AMAZING also i collected confetti off the floor after - still in love with how the LIW play the outro to six at the end of megasix - ANDREA!!! HUGGED!!! ME!!! we gave britt an envelope with bracelets for each of the queens and a letter and she took it to andrea after and later i went to get another picture (bc we missed getting a picture with andrea at first) and she was like "were you the one who gave us the envelope?? can i hug you??" I NEARLY CRIED - i got pictures with and signatures from all of the performing queens! my stepdad also got pictures with them as well as autographs on his jersey - god the show was so good and mallory seymour is AMAZING

okay that’s all i really have to say, there’s so much more but its hard to summarize an entire show in one post

[lets-talk-appella]

Night of the Living Greeks

Pitch Perfect Horror Week Day 1 - Costumes come to life.

Summary: Chloe has a great idea for a group costume-Greek gods and goddesses. Everything is fine, at least, until the costumes come to life. For Horror Week 2019 Day 1 - Costumes come to life.

Word Count: 7.5k

Rating: T

AO3 and FFN

A little cheat sheet:  

 Zeus - God of the air, uses lightning bolts as weapons. Ruler of the gods and doesn’t let anyone forget it. Cheats on his wife Hera, like, a lot. Poseidon - God of the seas and water. Controls water. Often is annoyed with Zeus. Feuds with Athena a lot because of a whole thing with Ancient Athens. Hades - God of the underworld. Creepy dude. Generally not one of the 12 Olympians and an outcast. Hera - Goddess of marriage. Queen of the gods. Married to Zeus and knows about his infidelity, which is ironic. Athena - Goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. Often takes leadership role. Feuds with Poseidon because of the Athens thing. Artemis - Maiden goddess of the Hunt. Great archer. Apollo - God of poetry, music, and the sun (sort of). Ares - God of war and battle. Tends to be blustering and violent. Aphrodite - Goddess of love. Often meddles in places she isn’t welcome. Demeter - Goddess of agriculture. Her daughter was Persephone. Dionysus - God of wine, parties, theater, and madness/insanity. Often drunk. Hermes - God of trade, messages, and trickery. Hephaestus - God of fire, metalworking, and stone work. Is one of the 12 Olympians, so that’s why he’s on this list, but he isn’t talked about in this fic.

-------------------------------

It started the way these things always start in books and movies: with a curse, a Halloween party, and a writer who doesn’t otherwise know how to start.

More than that, though, it started with a call from Chloe.

“Do you want to come back to Barden for a Halloween party?”

Aubrey blinked, trying to fend off the whiplash Chloe tended to give her. “Hello to you, too.”

“Yeah, hi,” Chloe said in a rush, and Aubrey could picture her impatient wave. “What do you say? Halloween back here?”

Pinching the bridge of her nose in thought, Aubrey rose from the armchair in her lodge and began to pace the floor, glancing out the window to where her camp counselors were coaching the latest Fortune 500 company employees over the tire swings.

“Uh, isn’t it on a week night this year?” Aubrey asked, mentally counting out the few remaining days to Halloween.

Chloe’s sigh made the phone crackle in Aubrey’s ear. “Yeah, but it’s Halloween! You could be a little late to the Lodge the next morning, right? No one would blame you. And you’re the boss, so it’s fine, right?”

“I don’t know…” Aubrey mused slowly. “This is kind of prime time for corporations to rent us out as a horror camp…”

The horror camp had been her idea, and business boomed around Halloween.

“Can’t someone cover for you? Please? Aubrey, it’s been months since you’ve been here.”

Aubrey fought against the smile she could feel threatening to take over. “If by months, you mean three weeks, then—”

“Look, you don’t even need a costume! The Bellas are doing a group one, and I already picked your part out.”

“Do I get to know what the group theme is?”

“It’ll be a surprise,” Chloe said, voice gleeful.

“I… you said on Halloween? As in, Halloween night?” Aubrey asked, pivoting in place as something occurred to her.

“Yeah!”

“Isn’t that the same night as Alpha Gamma Omega Epsilon’s usual party?”

“Oh, is it?” The innocence in Chloe’s voice could not have been more falsified.

“Chloe!” Aubrey hissed through the phone, gripping it more tightly than necessary. “You know how those psycho sorority girls get about their annual Halloween party.”

Alpha Gamma Omega Epsilon had had a monopoly on Barden Halloween parties for as long as anyone could remember. Which was insane, really, because it was Halloween, but that was Barden tradition; no one else dared to host wild parties that night. If they did, the sorority would find some way to either stop it before it started or shut it down within minutes.

Chloe made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a tsk. “They’ll be fine. Besides, it’s my last year, so, really, we’ll never get this chance again… so…”

Even as Chloe trailed off, Aubrey let her head fall back in defeat. She knew perfectly well that the only reason it was Chloe’s last year is because it was also a certain brunette goblin’s last year, but that didn’t change the fact that Chloe was right and they should live for the moment.

“Fine!” she said, cutting off further begging. “I’ll do it.”

“Awes!” Chloe squealed her victory, loudly enough for Aubrey to jerk the phone from her ear. “It’s going to be amazing, I promise.”

Aubrey hummed. “Still, watch out for the sorority sisters. They’re a bunch of bitches, you know.”

As she spoke, a loud voice yelled from the background on Chloe’s line. Aubrey immediately identified the voice as Amy’s, and needed no further explanation.

“Sorry, what’d you say?” Chloe asked once Amy had quieted down.

“I said they’re a bunch of bitches.”

“Oh, for a second I thought you said ‘witches,’” Chloe laughed, but Aubrey’s mood only darkened.

“That too,” she said, returning to her armchair.

Chloe scoffed again. “It’ll be fine! See you on Halloween!”

And without giving Aubrey the chance to argue further, she ended the call.

----------------------------

When Aubrey stepped into the Bella house on Halloween, she wasn’t surprised to stumble directly into Bella chaos. Most of the Bellas were in the sitting room, getting dressed in costume and showering her with a chorus of greetings as soon as she walked in the front door. She was positive that some, if not all, of them had skipped classes that day for the celebration. What did surprise her, though, was the costume choice; each of the Bellas seemed to be dressing in…

“Sheets?” Aubrey asked dumbly, staring. “Uh, what exactly—”

“Happy Halloween!” a familiar voice called, and Aubrey turned almost directly into Chloe’s tackle of an embrace. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

Aubrey returned the hug automatically, trying her best to keep red strands of hair from her mouth; Chloe’s curls seemed much more wild and unruly than usual, and the powerful scent of hairspray that followed half a second later told Aubrey the style was on purpose.

“Happy Halloween!” Aubrey replied as the hug ended and Chloe stepped back. “Um, Chloe, what is all…” Aubrey trailed off, gesturing to the sitting room at large and the flurry of Bellas.

“Costumes!” Chloe chirped, picking up a bundle of the sheet-like garments from the couch and shoving them into Aubrey’s arms. “Here’s yours! We’ve already got everyone figured out, so you’ve got Athena. Not bad, honestly.”

“Oh…” Aubrey said, comprehension dawning slowly as she examined the bundle; what she’d taken to be sheets was actually a Greek-style toga. “Athena? Like, the Greek goddess Athena?”

From across the room, Stacie called out, “She’s doing a theme to piss off the sorority.”

Ignoring the slight flutter of her stomach, Aubrey nodded once. “Ah.”

“That’s not the reason!” Chloe protested, but then almost immediately started to look guilty. “Well… not originally. I was thinking about it already and… well, it’s an added bonus,” she said with a wink.

“Mmm.”

At that moment, Amy extracted herself from the throng of Bellas in the sitting room with a huff, straightening her toga. “Question,” she directed to Chloe, then glanced at Aubrey. “And, yeah, hey, um… Aubrey?”

“Yes?” Aubrey asked, expecting a question.

Instead, the confusion on Amy’s face cleared instantly. “Great, just checking. Aubrey. Got it this time.”

“Uh—”

“I do actually get wine with this, right?” Amy continued, turning back to Chloe. “Because I’m the lord of wine, so I feel like that should be included. For authenticity purposes,” she added, her voice half an octave higher than usual.

Chloe winced delicately. “Dionysus is the god of wine, winemaking, grapes, theater, madness, and—”

Amy’s eyebrows lifted. “Sooooo is there a Chardonnay or something I could—”

“Fridge,” Chloe sighed, waving vaguely toward the kitchen.

“Authenticity, right?” Amy repeated, already making a beeline for the kitchen.

Chloe sighed again, but before she could say anything, Cynthia Rose’s voice called out “Has anyone seen my lightning bolt?”

Aubrey looked  to where Cynthia Rose stood in the middle of the sitting room, scanning the floor for something. She wore a toga like everyone else, but was set apart from the others by a gold circlet resting atop her head.

“Lightning bolt?” Aubrey asked slowly. “So she’s…”

Chloe beamed at her, apparently pleased she was catching on. “Oh, yeah, she wanted to be—”

“I’m Zeus,” Cynthia Rose declared loudly. “King of all you aca-bitches.”

Aubrey stared in disbelief until a movement from the corner of her eye startled her and she gasped; what she’d originally taken as a lump of black fabric on the couch rose, and Lilly’s face loomed into view under the dark hood of her costume.

“Oh, sorry,” Chloe said softly, following Aubrey’s gaze. “Lilly’s been pretty into—”

“Chloe, I really don’t think this is my style,” another voice—the complaining tone of which made Aubrey smile in recognition—said, and Aubrey looked past Chloe to see Beca descending the staircase. She was in costume, holding a blue plastic trident that was about as tall as she was, with her hair in braided with blue streaks that perfectly matched the color of her eyes. Aubrey instantly knew why Chloe had chosen that particular Greek god for Beca; sure enough, when Aubrey glanced over, Chloe was staring at Beca very unsubtly.

Aubrey cleared her throat.

Chloe jumped back to life. “What are you talking about?” she asked. “Poseidon is so you.”

Beca rolled her eyes, reaching the ground floor. “Aubrey,” she deadpanned by way of greeting.

“Beca,” Aubrey replied just as stiffly, not missing the little smile Beca gave her, the only crack in their cold exchange. Aubrey returned it; she was happy to see Beca, too.

Beca looked back at Chloe, her eyebrows drawing together. “Chlo, I don’t even really like water, or swimming, or the ocean, or—”

“But your eyes are so blue,” Chloe interrupted, then looked horrified with herself.

Beca’s mouth opened, then closed. She blinked several times rapidly and muttered, “Have you seen your eyes?”

Chloe’s cheeks reddened, though she looked pleased.

Aubrey shifted in place, pointedly clearing her throat once again. She didn’t know how the other Bellas survived if it was like this all the time, because honestly.

“Oh, uh, um,” Beca stammered, her own blush forming as she seemed to remember Aubrey’s presence. “Who are you gonna be, then? Chloe kind of assigned—”

“She’s Athena,” Chloe interrupted, surveying Aubrey with a kind of satisfaction. “She’s perfect for it.”

“Athena, yep,” Aubrey nodded. “The, um… wisdom goddess?” It had been a while since she’d taken any kind of mythology class.

“Wisdom and battle strategy,” Chloe clarified.

Aubrey wondered why Chloe knew so much about all this.

“Right,” she said. “So who exactly is…everyone?” she asked, gesturing broadly to the sitting room at large, where the rest of the Bellas continued to ready their costumes.

“Totes!” Chloe actually clapped her hands together in excitement. Beside her, Beca gave Aubrey a look of the deepest sympathy. “Ok, Beca is Poseidon, god of the sea. Lilly is Hades, god of the underworld.” Chloe leaned in conspiratorially, and Aubrey mirrored her unconsciously. “Hades isn’t technically one of the twelve Olympians, but it was him or Hephaestus, and she really, really wanted to be Hades. It’s Lilly. And, um, Cynthia Rose is Zeus, god of the skies and technically the one in charge of the rest. Um, then…”

Chloe craned her neck, pointing out more of the individual costumes. “Over there, Jessica—I think that’s Jessica—is Demeter, who is all about agriculture. Then Ashley—or, maybe Jessica—is Artemis, goddess of the hunt. Flo—”

“The hunt?” Aubrey asked, confused. Behind Chloe, Beca just shrugged.

“Think archery and running,” Chloe clarified.

“Gotcha.” That explained Ashely’s cheap fake bow and arrow props.

“So anyway, Flo is Hera, goddess of marriage. And she’s also married to Zeus, even though he cheats on her a lot. Amy, as you know, is Dionysus, Emily is Aries, god of war, and—”

An arm wound itself over Aubrey’s shoulders at the same time a familiar perfume filled her nose. “And I’m Aphrodite, goddess of love,” Stacie said, close enough to Aubrey’s ear that it made her shiver. “So if you need anything love-related, let me know,” she added with a wink before strutting back into the sitting room to join the others.

Aubrey blinked, voice lost somewhere in the depths of her chest. It wasn’t until she felt Beca’s smirk and an unusual warmth in her cheeks that she regained any sort of brain power. With Herculean effort, she managed, “Um, did you say Emily is the god of…”

“War, yeah,” Chloe answered nonchalantly. “She’s actually taking to it really well.”

In the sitting room, Emily waved around a plastic sword, pretending to slice and dice Flo, who was doing a great job of ignoring her.

“Maybe a little too well,” mused Beca, watching her.

Aubrey was about to agree when Amy wandered past, arms full with a bottle of wine and a second bottle of something that looked suspiciously like tequila.

“Amy, that’s not wine,” Chloe said, her tone sharp. “What happened to authenticity, exactly?”

“Umm. Ummmmm.” Amy’s eyes darted between the three of them. “Well, you know. Um, I’m also god of madness, and tequila is basically the same thing?”

Chloe closed her eyes. “Fine.”

Aubrey almost felt bad for her. Almost. “And you are?” she asked, giving Amy the chance to make her escape and bringing Chloe’s mood back up.

“Oh! I’m Apollo,” Chloe smiled. “The god of the sun, music, and poetry.”

Beca’s face twitched, struggling to hold back a smile.

Aubrey nodded, fighting against her own amusement. “I could see that.” The role fit Chloe perfectly. She did a quick mental count, trying to pair each of the Bellas with an Olympian. “But doesn’t that leave—”

“Chloe, what does the messenger god actually do?”

Aubrey’s heart sank at the impassive mask that came over Chloe’s face; Jesse thumped down the stairs, looking fairly ridiculous in his own costume. He was holding a long staff with what looked like little fake snakes winding around it. It reminded Aubrey of something she’d seen on ambulances or associated with doctors, but it wasn’t exactly the same design.

“Deliver messages?” Beca answered Jesse’s question with a single raised eyebrow.

“Hermes?” Aubrey asked as Jesse reaches them, wrapping his arm around Beca’s waist.

Chloe nodded, not looking entirely pleased as she tore her eyes from Beca’s direction to meet Aubrey’s. “We needed a twelfth, and Beca said Jesse could do it.”

“The Trebles didn’t have their own group costume?”

Jesse shook his head, the standard boyish grin in place. “Guys don’t really do that. Besides, Benji really, really just wanted to be Houdini again, so our hands were tied.”

“Such fragile masculinity,” Beca said sardonically, patting Jesse’s stomach and pulling him closer.

Chloe shifted next to Aubrey.

Jesse puffed out his chest in indignation. “Hey, I wanted a movie theme, but—”

A loud thud echoed against the front door, cutting Jesse off and startling everyone; Aubrey spun, staring at the door with sudden trepidation.

“What was that?” Flo asked.

“Was it a bird again?” Amy muttered.

“Poor little guy,” Emily said softly.

Once again, movement from the corner of her eye caught Aubrey’s attention; she looked over in time to see Lilly pulling out a fork from nowhere. She shuddered.

“I’ll look,” Jesse volunteered, and, taking his arm from around Beca, moved over to the door and glanced through the peephole before opening it slowly.

Around Aubrey, the Bellas had fallen quiet.

Jesse opened the door wider, then made a small sound of surprise.

“What is it?” Chloe asked sharply, her tone suddenly tense.

“Well, uh…” Jesse trailed off and stooped for a moment, reaching for something outside. He picked up whatever it was, rose and closed the door, bringing it inside. Chloe’s breath caught audibly when they realized what it was: a brick with a note tied around it.

“What the…”

“Oh shit, that could’ve taken out a window,” Beca said. “We got lucky.”

“Um, here,” Jesse said, untying the note and handing it to Chloe. “I think it might be for you.”

Eyebrows drawn together, Chloe took the note and unfolded it, her expression darkening as she read what it said.

“What is it?” Aubrey heard herself ask. Around them, the Bellas drew closer, all trying to get a closer look.

As soon as she sees the words—letters cut out of a magazine and pasted on the paper—Aubrey’s stomach dropped.

Chloe read the message out loud, her voice tight. “‘You should have moved your party. Now you’ll feel our curse.’”

It was signed “Alpha Gamma Omega Epsilon.”

Amy spoke first. “Why do people keep signing hate mail they write with magazine letters?”

---------------------------------

“Okay, you can look,” Aubrey said, examining her reflection in Chloe’s floor-length mirror.

Behind her, Chloe opened her eyes, the mirror displaying her every reaction. “Aubrey!” she said happily, entire face lighting up. “You make a great Athena!

Aubrey readjusted her toga for maybe the eleventh time even as she double-checked her braids. “I don’t think Athena was blonde, but it’ll work.”

Chloe shrugged with indifference. “None of us really fit the profile of Ancient Greek gods and goddesses, so it’ll be fine.”

Before she could stop herself, Aubrey fired back, “Well, none of us except for Beca’s eyes, right?”

In response, Chloe gave a wry smile. “Stacie seems to have missed you,” she said, and Aubrey pursed her lips.

“Are you really okay with Jesse being here?” she asked. It was a deflection, and they both knew it, but it worked.

Chloe’s smile faded and sunlight seemed to leave the room. “It’s... fine,” she sighed. “We did need twelve, so, I guess.”

A twinge of sympathy shot through Aubrey’s chest. “The numbers work out, so focus on that. Strategy for the overall plan, right? Great group costumes? Make the sorority mad?”

“Right,” Chloe said, seeming to steel herself. “It’s fine. And forget the sorority, they’re not my priority.”

“Even though they’re throwing bricks at the house?”

“A cheap scare tactic. It won’t work.”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” Chloe said firmly, setting her shoulders. “Now, where did I put your owl? Some guests should be getting here soon, we should be totally ready.”

As soon as the stuffed owl Chloe had bought Aubrey as a prop—”Owls are the most famous symbol of wisdom! You have to have one!”—was located and secured safely in Aubrey’s arms, Chloe declared her party-ready.

“Okay, now all we have to do is go downstairs and—”

A huge boom sounded from the floor below, shaking the house and making Aubrey stumble. Screams followed, tearing through her like a knife; she met Chloe’s eyes, which were filled with alarm that Aubrey was sure was mirrored in her own.

Without a word, they seemed to reach the same conclusion.

Chloe strode to her door and flung it open, and they raced down the steps to find the source of the noise.

They stopped at the foot of the stairs, staring into the sitting room where the rest of the Bellas were gathered. Every one of them stood staring at a blackened, slightly smoldering spot on one of the walls. The air around Aubrey felt dry, crackling almost, and the room smelled like ozone.

“What happened?” Chloe gasped into the stunned silence.

Aubrey did a quick survey of the Bellas, doing a headcount: Stacie and Cynthia Rose were inspecting the wall, Amy had opened the bottle of wine and was drinking directly from it, Flo was glaring at something but looked unhurt, Ashley and Jessica were accounted for (though for some reason Jessica was holding what looked like a container of oats with Stacie’s name written in Sharpie on the outside and Ashley held a real bow and set of arrows).

Aubrey did a double-take, certain that Ashley’s Artemis weapons had been fake earlier.

“What in the world—”

“It’s a curse!” Emily burst out suddenly, hands balled into fists at her side. “The sorority put a curse on us!”

“Curses aren’t real,” Aubrey said slowly, shocked at Emily’s uncharacteristic anger.

“Yeah, that’s crazy, right?” Beca’s voice floated in from the kitchen, where she stood leaning against the sink and sipping from a plastic cup of water. “Just, like, chill.”

“Then what just happened with my lightning?” Cynthia Rose asked loudly, gesturing to the wall.

“Your… what?” Chloe asked slowly, expression filled with confusion.

“My lighting!” Cynthia Rose repeated, becoming agitated. “It got all hot and sizzly and then blew into that wall!”

“I… but wasn’t it just tin foil?”

��I thought so, but it was—it was like it became real!” Cynthia Rose exclaimed, and Stacie nodded.

“It’s true,” she said. “It started glowing, and it… well. You can see the wall.”

Flo stepped closer to Cynthia Rose, her eyes flicking between her and Stacie in what Aubrey would guess was suspicion.

“But that’s not possible…” Chloe said quietly, looking more confused than ever.

A chill ran down Aubrey’s spine and she shivered, instinctively glancing to the corners of the room. There, the cloud of darkness that was Lilly in her Hades costume was creepier than ever, seeming to emanate a strange chill. Aubrey noticed that the rest of the Bellas seemed to be giving her a wide berth, as if they also sensed something off.

Aubrey dragged her attention back to the char mark—lightning strike?—on the wall, only for her stomach to flip and roll when she met Stacie’s eyes.

Stacie was positively staring, gazing at Aubrey as though she was trying to memorize her.

“Um, what—”

A loud screech echoed around Aubrey’s mind, scaring her half to death. The stuffed owl in her arms suddenly became much heavier and started to shift. Aubrey wondered if she was about to drop it, until, with another shifting weight, a live owl threw itself from her with another angry screech as it unfurled its wings and started to fly around the sitting room.

Several of the Bellas started screaming again, ducking and covering their heads. Emily started jumping up and down, waving her hands as if trying to catch the owl as it flew madly around them. Aubrey pulled Chloe out of the way as the owl circled back, confused in the confined space. Through the chaos, Aubrey glimpsed Ashley nocking an arrow into her bow and pulling the string back to fire—

The sound of shattering glass filled the room, and cool air rushed in from outside through the newly broken window. The owl immediately changed its flight path and made for the escape route that Ashley had created with her fired arrow. Within another second, the owl made its exit, soaring through the broken window pane with ease and off into the evening sky.

Silence fell.

Aubrey stared uncomprehendingly at her empty hands, brain refusing to connect the stuffed owl—a toy—Chloe had given her with the live owl that had just flown out the window.

“How…”

“You saw that, right?” Cynthia Rose asked sharply. “You all saw that?”

“Yeah, I… and the lightning…” Jessica murmured.

Chloe stared at nothing.

A horrible idea struck Aubrey then, one that sent her stomach rolling yet again with molten anxiety. “Beca,” she started, “do you want to go surfing?”

“I’d love to!” Beca answered immediately, then paused. “Um,” she frowned. “I’ve never been surfing, but that sounds awesome.”

Aubrey took one deep breath, then another. “I think… I think we are becoming our costumes. Like our costumes are coming to life.”

Chloe’s eyes snapped around to meet hers. “Costumes don’t do that! Curses are not real, okay? It’s ridiculous.”

Aubrey hesitated. “You do realize that was a haiku, right? Poetry god?”

Chloe blinked in shock, the reality of the situation apparently hitting her.

“Listen,” Emily said angrily, beginning to pace, “if it is this stupid curse, let’s just go to the sorority house and beat a solution out of them!”

“Woah, there, we need to think, we need to plan—”

Stacie interrupted, plopping herself down on the couch, “Yeah, why fight when we can love?”

Jessica shook the container of Stacie’s oats in her hands, the sound getting everyone’s attention. “All this negative energy is clouding the atmosphere,” she scolded. “We should really have more air-cleansing plants in this room, guys.”

“Focus!” Aubrey exclaimed, hands flying to her temples.

“You’re so shrill, Aubrey,” Amy protested, emerging from the kitchen with a bunch of grapes. Aubrey hadn’t seen her leave the sitting room. “It’s giving me a headache.”

Beca made a disapproving noise. “Yeah, okay, while you guys do whatever, I think I’m gonna go for a swim.”

Aubrey rounded on Chloe, desperate for someone to have sense. “We have to cancel the party.”

“What? Noooooo,” Amy drew out, alternating taking sips of wine with popping grapes into her mouth.

Chloe held up her hands in a placating gesture. “Aubrey, I know it looks bad, but let’s not jump the gun. I think, you know, it could still be really fun.”

“Are you insane?” Aubrey argued, stunned at the reaction. “Chloe, if more people come in more costumes, they might turn into their costumes, too! Do we really need actual werewolves and—and real slutty nurses running around?”

“Yes,” Stacie and Cynthia Rose said simultaneously.

Flo snorted in annoyance. “For someone who is supposedly married to the goddess of marriage—”

“The costumes could be worse, right?” Ashley said. “At least none of us were in hideous monster masks or anything.”

“Well, Legacy still turned out looking like—” Amy began meanly, but Aubrey had heard enough.

“We need to cancel the party, Chloe,” Aubrey insisted again, more firmly.

Ashley plucked aimlessly at her bowstring, making it vibrate. “They’re picking us off like this. If we have more people here, who knows what might happen.”

Chloe hesitated, but eventually gave a single, glum looking nod that seemed to darken the entire house.

“I’ll make the calls!” Jesse volunteered, jumping up from the couch and surprising Aubrey. She’d forgotten he was even there, quiet has he had been. “Guest list?” he asked Chloe.

“Eager beaver.” Beca muttered darkly from the kitchen, but Jesse didn’t seem to hear.

Stacie and Flo watched the interaction closely, their eyes flicking between Jesse and Beca as if they were engaged in a tennis match.

“Here, just use the list in my phone,” Chloe agreed, unlocking it and handing it over. “And, Jesse, don’t go anywhere alone!” she added abruptly.

“I’ll go with,” Jessica volunteered, moving to stand beside Jesse. “I need to do a pantry check for cereal anyway.”

Another silence fell as everyone stared at her.

Beca took a sip of water.

“Okay, so, how do we fix this?” Ashley eventually asked, breaking the spell as Jesse and Jessica went into the kitchen together. The question was directed at Aubrey, but before she could say anything, Cynthia Rose cleared her throat.

“Woah woah, why are you asking her?” she asked indignantly. “I’m the ruler of this whole thing.”

“Calm down, Zappy,” Beca said sharply. “Though, yeah, I really don’t like Aubrey being in charge right now either.”

“What?” Aubrey gaped. “Beca, Athena is the goddess of strategy. It makes sense for me to plan.”

“More like the god of talking too much,” Beca quipped.

Even as Aubrey tried to contain her sudden annoyance, Stacie half-rose from the couch and glared at Beca. “Hey, just because you and Chloe aren’t—”

“Why don’t we just… go with the flow?” Beca interrupted, her eyes flicking quickly in Chloe’s direction and then away again.

“Flowing wine, what?” Amy perked up immediately.

Emily growled in frustration, running a hand through her hair. “Why can’t we just storm in there and start punching?”

“We don’t even know if we have powers!” Aubrey protested. “Don’t you see, we have no idea what we can even—”

A weird rushing noise filled her ears, and the next thing she knew, she was somehow absolutely drenched with water that had seemed to come out of nowhere. She sputtered, disoriented and gasping.

“Looks like we do have powers,” Beca said, and Aubrey whirled to see her smirk.

Anger coiled in Aubrey’s chest, though she knew she was being unreasonable. “Beca, I swear—”

“Don’t fight!” Chloe said quickly. “It’s only making it worse! We need to work together to break the curse.”

Beca’s eyes flicked in her direction and her expression softened. “Fine,” she muttered and, with a wave of her hand in Aubrey’s direction, Aubrey was miraculously completely dry again.

“Okay,” she managed, attempting to control her impatience. “So it seems like we have powers, but what about the physical form? I mean—okay, Emily, you might want to punch people but I bet you’re limited by your body.”

“What?” Emily looked at her blankly.

“Try doing something strong,” Aubrey suggested. “See what happens.”

“Alright then,” Emily said grimly, and strode toward the nearest wall, fist raised and ready to punch it.

“Woah there!” Flo said quickly, and together she and Cynthia Rose were able to haul Emily back from the wall. “We don’t need any more wall damage! We need the security deposit when we move out.”

“But—”

“I meant, like, lift something heavy,” Aubrey said quickly, diffusing the situation.

“Oh. Um, sure.” Emily strode over to the couch that Stacie still sprawled on. She kneeled down, slid her hands under it and tried to lift it; nothing happened besides a fair amount of strain and mumbled curses, and a moment later, Emily stopped trying with a huff. “Stupid couch.”

“That’s what I thought,” Aubrey murmured, a grim determination filling her. “We can’t rely on strength because we’re still us with our regular bodies. We need wits.”

“And our powers,” Beca mumbled audibly. “Just saying.”

“We don’t all have magic water-bending,” Flo snapped.  

“Yeah, I really think we should get to know the sorority girls before attacking,” Stacie suggested. “If we know how they love, we can take them down.”

Cynthia Rose wiggled her eyebrows. “I like that plan.”

Flo scoffed angrily, but before she could start yelling, a paper airplane soared through the air and knocked directly into Chloe’s temple.

“Ouch! What’s this? Were you trying to miss?” she asked, holding up the paper airplane and glaring in the direction it came from.

“Nope,” Jesse said, returning from the kitchen with Jessica, who now carries Amy’s Shredded Wheat along with Stacie’s oats. “It’s a message, letting you know that everyone on your list has been texted or called, and the party is officially off.”

“Miss anything?” Jessica asked, returning to her place next to Ashley, who laughed a little.

“Nope,” she said, “just the usual fighting. Kind of like there are only three main characters here.”

“Great.”

“Right!” Aubrey jumped in, clasping her hands together as she tried to think of a plan. “Okay, what we’re gonna do is, um… think Trojan Horse?” she asked the room.

Stacie leaned forward, interested: “I haven’t tried that variety before, is it any good?”

Aubrey cringed. “Ignoring that. So, basically, we—”

Amy raised her hand. “By saying ‘ignoring that,’ you’re not really ignoring it, are you?”

“Basically,” Aubrey plowed on, very intentionally avoiding eye contact with Stacie or Chloe. “We make it look like we’re sending them a peace offering, maybe, like—”

“Doves in a box?” Flo suggested.

“Um, something like that,” Aubrey replied. “I was thinking more—”

“Wine box,” Amy said.

“Mailbox,” Jesse added.

“We can think about that later!” Aubrey cut them off, feeling a headache starting to form behind her eyes. “The point is, we set up a gift of some kind and then infiltrate the sorority house.”

“And then we pulverize them! Yes!” Emily cheered, pounding a fist into her palm. “Excellent.”

Aubrey tried to backtrack. “Or we just have a diplomatic meeting—”

“I want to add to my collection,” Lilly rasped from the corner, making nearly everyone jump. Jessica, who was closest to her, moved several inches away.

“You guys,” Chloe cut in abruptly. “Beca’s missing! Do you think she and Jesse are—”

“I’m right here!” Jesse said, and for some reason, Stacie and Flo glared at him venomously.

“Unfortunately,” Stacie mumbled.

Jesse tilted his head, “What? Didn’t catch that.”

Without missing a beat, Stacie answered, “She can’t find Beca.”

Aubrey glanced to where Beca had been leaning against the counter. Her empty cup was set down, but she was nowhere to be found.

“Maybe the sorority got her?” Cynthia Rose suggested fearfully.

The room seemed to darken.

Ashley stepped forward, shouldering her bow. “No, they didn’t. I’d have noticed if they were after her.”

Aubrey stared at her, confused.

“Um, hunting, remember?” Ashley said. “I know these things.”

“Oooo-kay,” Emily said, drawing out the vowel.

“She’s probably swimming,” Amy slurred from the couch. The bottle of wine next to her was empty, and she’d started on the tequila.

“What?” Aubrey asked, confused.

“Well she said she wanted to go about five times. You guys suck at listening,” Amy pointed out. “She’s probably just in the Treble Pool.”

Some of the light returned to the room, renewing Aubrey’s hope. “I bet she went to swim on a whim!” Chloe exclaimed happily.

Aubrey straightened her spine. “We have to go get her and tell her about the plan. You guys do agree to the plan?”

Emily winced. “Well—”

Flo waved her off. “Yes, already, goddess of strategy, stop asking. Let’s go.”

Aubrey led the march out of the Bella house and across the yard, aiming for the bushes that separated their house from the Treble’s. She could hear the heavy bass from the sorority party just down the block, and was certain that if she looked in that direction, she’d see the glow of the party lights hanging above the house like a fog.

Stacie walked next to her, staying closer than probably necessary. Aubrey didn’t mind, though, not when Stacie’s Aphrodite powers somehow made Stacie’s presence even warmer and more welcoming than usual.

“You know,” Stacie said quietly, “I’m not sure why the sorority girls even care if we had a Halloween party. We have different friends anyway, so it isn’t like we’d steal their guests.”

It wasn’t what Aubrey was expecting her to say, and she tried to hide her disappointment while she started picking her way through the bushes separating the properties.

“No idea,” she said. “Maybe just a pride thing.”

Stacie hummed thoughtfully, but didn’t say anything else.

When they’d finally pushed through the foliage and spilled out into the Treble yard, Aubrey caught sight of Beca immediately. She was floating on her back in the pool, fully clothed, as currents pushed her along slowly in some sort of lazy river that Aubrey was sure had to be of Beca’s own design.

“Oh hey, guys, jump in,” Beca said, picking up her head to look at the group. “I bet I can make a wave pool.”

“Do you know how bad pool chlorine is for local plants?” Jessica asked.

Aubrey clicked her tongue impatiently. “Beca, get out of the water.”

“What for, brainiac?”

Cynthia Rose leaned in. “How about you get out of the pool before I electrocute it with lightning?”

Beca raised an eyebrow. “Would you do that?”

“I can try.”

“Neat,” Beca said, sounding bored, but the currents carried her to the edge of the pool. She sat up, resting on top of the water rather than sinking in, and stepped out casually. Her clothes and hair remained perfectly dry. “This water thing is so cool,” she grinned. “Why exactly do you want to change back?”

“Because Emily wants to murder people, Lilly is scarier than usual, Jessica has pack-bonded with whole grain, and Chloe can’t stop rhyming,” Aubrey reeled off.

“I can stop!...Pop,” Chloe said sadly.

Beca pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine. I assume you aca-nerds came up with a plan?”

Amy swayed on the spot. “We’re gonna Trojan Horse it. Classy stuff,” she slurred, hiccupping.

Beca stared. “You’re kidding,” she deadpanned.

A paper plane cut through the air, hitting Beca directly on the forehead. Growling, she unfolded it and read out loud, “‘Nope. Trojan Horse.’ Really?” she glared at Jesse. “You had to send this?”

Jesse winced. “Message received,” he said sadly.

“Listen, Aubrey,” Beca began, her tone tight and controlled. “Trojan Horse worked back then, but it’s tired.”

Aubrey shook her head. “No. It’s the best strategy.”

“That strategy isn’t even from this millennium! Can’t we come up with something new and original?”

Chloe ran a hand through her hair. “Aubrey, maybe Beca’s right. There might be a better way to fight,” she suggested.

“Yeah, like using our fists!” Emily said.

“Or our powers,” Cynthia Rose cut in, sounding impatient. “I could try feeding them rocks or something. Or blasting them with more lightning.”

“I can summon an army from the dead,” Lilly murmured.

“I can set booby-traps?” Jesse suggested.

“I can make them drunk,” Amy said, stumbling over nothing and nearly toppling into the pool.

Aubrey lifted her hands, cutting them all off. “Woah, okay, hang on, let me think,” she said. “I can come up with something.”

The seconds dragged by as Aubrey struggled to come up with any alternative plan. Her mind felt cluttered, filled with too many potential plans and strategies, and her thoughts raced around and around, until they became more like the owl flying aimlessly inside the house than like anything remotely resembling a plan.

While she struggled to think of anything, Ashley fired an arrow through a birdhouse, using it as target practice.

After a long moment during which Aubrey had come up with nothing better than their current options, Chloe stepped forward and brushed her fingers lightly along Aubrey’s arm. “You know, Aubrey,” she said quietly, “part of being wise is knowing when to use your team. And if I don’t stop rhyming, I’m going to scream.”

Aubrey took a deep breath, expelling it through her nose slowly. “Alright. Let’s do this. Bellas, huddle! And Beca?”

“Yeah?”

“Get in here. Let’s plan.”

--------------------------------

“Just so you know, Jesse and Beca aren’t meant for marriage.”

Aubrey almost fell from her perch in the tree.

“What?”

“It’s true,” Stacie echoed Flo’s sentiments with authority. “No chemistry there. Make your move, Ginger,” she said, glancing up at Chloe, who was on a higher branch concealed in the tree.

“I have no idea what you mean, jelly bean,” Chloe insisted with as much dignity as she could muster. Which was not much.

“I can’t wait until her curse wears off, good lord,” Jessica muttered, snacking on the Shredded Wheat.

“I know these things,” Flo said imperiously, twisting around on her own branch to look at Chloe. “Goddess of marriage. It’s not gonna happen.”

“And as the goddess of love, I gotta say, Chloe and Beca really—”

“Look who’s talking,” Flo muttered.

“Shh!” Aubrey cut everyone off, her phone having conveniently chosen that moment to beep with a notification. “Text from Jesse,” she said, and the others fell quiet.

They’d collectively decided that if they were going to use their newly-acquired Greek powers, only a few of the Bellas would actually be heading the attack on the sorority. Because Beca, Cynthia Rose, Amy, and Lilly all had the most active powers, they had decided to enter the building. Emily and Ashley had also gone in to act as the muscle. That left Aubrey, Chloe, Flo, Stacie, and Jessica keeping surveillance from within a tree (Ashley’s idea) because it allowed them to watch the sorority house while remaining hidden. Jesse, then, had taken a strategic position in between the two groups so that he could act as messenger and pass along news to either group. Thankfully, he’d exchanged his paper planes for texting.

“‘Friendlies have entered the building. Hold your position,’” Aubrey read out loud to the others, internally approving of Jesse’s insistence on using militaristic language. Her father would be proud. “Okay, this is it. Time to see what happens.”

Another text followed shortly after, reading simply, “Phase 1.”

“It’s starting,” Aubrey said to the others just in time for the first roll of thunder to reach their ears. The plan was for Cynthia Rose and Beca to work together and use their godly powers to create a storm inside the sorority house, disrupting the party with a slew of thunder, lightning, rain, and wind.

The thunder continued, building to a constant roll that shook the very tree branch beneath Aubrey. Under the noise of that, though, came the distinct sound of many voices whooping and cheering.

Aubrey turned to Chloe, confused. “Are they… celebrating?”

“Probably think it’s part of the show for the party,” Stacie mumbled, sounding irritated.

Sure enough, another text from Jesse arrived: “Moving to Phase 2.”

Aubrey shuddered; they’d been hoping that a little indoor storm would be enough to get the sorority sisters to reverse the curse, but apparently not. That’s why they’d sent in Lilly.

Seconds later, the cheers turned to screams of pure terror.

“Holy shit,” Jessica breathed, and Flo crossed herself; Aubrey privately agreed. She wouldn’t even imagine what the inside of that house would look like with Lilly raising her dead army inside it.

Aubrey expected to feel it at any second—the lift of the curse, which would rid the Bellas of their powers as soon as the sorority witches crumpled under the onslaught, but nothing happened. She exchanged another look with Chloe, full of grim uncertainty, when something almost imperceptible changed in the air, the smallest shockwave traveling through her chest.

Then the sound from the sorority party crescendoed, a rising cacophony of screams now mingled with an unnatural laughter that sent unease firing down Aubrey’s spine, interwoven with garbled shouting and rising music, thudding with heavy bass and erratic electric threads that grated against the inside of Aubrey’s skull, pressing outward from within so that it felt like there was something trying to escape from within Aubrey’s own mind, and no matter how tightly she pressed her hands against her ears, the terrible sounds fed off one another and grew until—snap!

Silence.

Aubrey’s hands fell from her ears. She looked at each of the Bellas in the tree with her, their expressions mirroring the blatant confusion and fear she felt.

Whatever that was, it hadn’t been part of their original plan.

Aubrey’s phone chimed. “Phase... 3???” Jesse had sent, apparently as uncertain as they all were.

“What happened?” Stacie breathed, but Aubrey just shook her head.

“No idea,” she said, but then something changed inside her chest.

It was like an object inside her had fallen away, leaving her empty and confused. She felt different, suddenly uncertain about their plan or any sort of strategy. The sunshine around them dimmed, and Aubrey caught Jessica staring at the oats and cereal in her hands in confusion.

“I think—”

“Did it work?” Chloe asked. “Is it over?”

“You didn’t rhyme,” Aubrey pointed out, growing excited. “Flo! What are the odds of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds staying together forever?”

“Hmm?” Flo looked over skeptically. “They’re fine, but celebrity marriages, you never know.”

“Chloe, say something else.”

“Like what? Just anything?”

“I hate Shredded Wheat,” Jessica mumbled, still staring at the box in her hands.

“I think we’re good!” Aubrey exclaimed happily. “Ladies, we can get out of this tree now.”

They slid off their respective branches, climbing down carefully. At one point, a branch snarled itself in Aubrey’s hair and she had to work to free herself, but eventually, her feet touched the grass and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“But I don’t feel different?” Stacie said once they were all on the ground. She patted herself up and down, spending far too much time adjusting her boobs.

“That’s probably okay,” Chloe said with a grin, her eyes flashing to Aubrey.

The sound of pounding footsteps rushing toward them made Aubrey turn; Jesse sprinted toward them, panting and out of breath.

“Hey!” he managed between gasps for air. “I don’t know what happened over there. Things got really…”

“Weird?” Aubrey suggested.

“Yeah. I think I’m back to normal, though,” Jesse added, also patting himself down for whatever reason. “No more urges to send messages.”

“We’re good here, too,” Aubrey said with a glance at the others.

“Nice! So that means—”

“No more curse, aca-bitches!” Amy’s loud voice startled everyone as she reappeared at the end of their driveway. “I saved the day!”

Behind her, Beca, Cynthia Rose, Lilly, Emily, and Ashley all straggled into the Bella yard. They looked a little worse for wear, and Aubrey noticed that they all seemed to eye Amy wearily. Even Lilly was sure to keep her distance.

“You’re okay!” Chloe said in relief, rushing toward Beca. At the last minute, she performed a weird little jerking motion, as if stopping herself from flinging her arms around Beca’s neck.

“Yeah, no, we’re good,” Beca muttered, talking mostly to Chloe. “The curse they put on us is broken.”

“Those bleach-blondes won’t be bothering us anymore. Crushed it,” Amy said proudly.

Aubrey stared. “What happened?”

“Uh…” Beca hesitated.

“Yeah?”

“Well,” she began, eyes again flicking to Amy. “Cynthia Rose and I made a little hurricane. I made the sinks burst and then made it rain, and Cynthia Rose made it lighting and get stormy, but everyone there thought it was a theme thing.”

“Cool theme, though,” Emily added. “And yeah, that wasn’t working, so then Lilly summoned, like… dead people. Lots and lots of dead people,” she shivered, looking uncomfortable. Aubrey hoped she wasn’t going to have nightmares. “Ashley and I rounded up as many of the sorority girls as we could. They knew what we wanted, but kept laughing at us, even though their guests were seriously scared.”

“So how…?” Aubrey asked, still confused.

Each of the Bellas shifted uncomfortably. Finally, Beca spoke up. “Amy,” she said with finality and a little awe. “It was Amy.”

Amy bowed grandly. “Thank you, thank you, hold the applause. Actually, no, just applaud.”

“What did she do?” Stacie asked.

“She… broke them,” Ashley answered slowly.

Aubrey blinked.

“God of wine and madness, remember? Insanity?” Amy reminded them. “I just made everyone go on a little trip. Laughing at nothing, talking to walls, running in circles, dancing on tables. Even made a few do mermaid dancing, thank you.”

“It was scary,” Emily admitted.

Aubrey recalled the wall of noise that had hit her in the tree and made her cover her ears. She winced, unable to imagine what the snapping of all those minds must have been like to witness up close.

“And then the sorority girls got scared and agreed to end the curse,” Beca finished the story. “When they saw what Amy could do, well… they ended it, and everyone went back to normal. I think their guests left, though.”

“Just like that?” Aubrey asked.

“Well, they should have thought before cursing us with godly powers,” Amy said proudly. “Should have checked to see what our costumes were before making them come to life.”

Aubrey had to hand it to Amy; she was impressed. With all of them, really.

“So…” Chloe hedged. “Party back on?”

Aubrey hesitated. “Chloe, I don’t think—”

“Hell yeah!” Beca interrupted.

“Let’s do it!” Amy agreed.

Jesse plucked Chloe’s phone from her hands. “Already back on alerting the guest list.”

Aubrey shook her head, laughing as she recognized defeat. “Fine!” she said, throwing her hands into the air and accidently catching Stacie’s eye. Stacie winked, and once again, Aubrey’s chest fluttered.

What a weird way to spend Halloween. But there was nowhere she’d rather be.

[momijis-sunglasses]

so in my post-first-two-episodes-of-furuba glow, I went home and watched the first episode of the 2001 anime again.

hoo boy.

it was FASCINATING.

it’s definitely become a little more common for the same story to receive multiple adaptations. but here we have two first episodes that cover the exact same chapter in the manga, end on the same story hook, and even have plenty of similar shots. but the overall impression and tone is incredibly different between the two. and it’s so revealing for why i’m optimistic about the new anime and have big issues with the 2001 adaptation.  

SPOILERS

-the 2019 anime has the huge benefit of knowing the entire story. starting out with a flashback to the bond first being created between god and the animals is a great idea. it gets a hint of the supernatural in there early for new viewers, and it’s giving you a visual metaphor (the ropes aka literal bonds) of one of the key themes of the series. the new anime is being made with the awareness of the rest of the series, and that’ll improve things so much. they’re already really teasing the hat, and even kyo’s beads. it’s nothing too overt, just little nudges at the viewer that serve as a fun thing for existing fans and ways to tease the mystery for new fans.

-the scene where Tohru first finds the house and meets Shigure have very, very similar scripts between both versions. and I wish I had the new version in front of me right now because I can’t provide specific examples of why this is -- but I was left with a much more natural impression from the new version. the directing is just better. I think the 2001 anime has the problem of being too abrupt constantly. it’s like nothing’s given room to breathe. in the new anime, there’s a really nice transition into a flashback (lots of flashbacks in this episode haha) using the wind chime at Shigure’s to one at Tohru and Kyoko’s apartment. and actually going into the apartment gives the whole flashback a better sense of place. this is also where it starts being really apparent how much more static the old anime is. i do think they generally did the best with what they had, but there are more pans over still frames and the characters expressions are usually flat. the new anime is 1000% more dynamic.

-which also contributes to the comedy! there’s the same funny “what do you have in there, a dictionary?”/”two dictionaries” gag in both, but it lands better in the new anime. it’s more background chatter than anything, actually, so it feels more like incidental funny dialogue. like these people just banter and bug each other on the reg. the 2001 anime makes everything more slapstick and over the top, and 2019 tones it back to something more naturalistic. which i’m happy about, because when i think fruits basket, i think dry humor more than anything.

-also! eric vale! i’ve never blamed him for this, but his performance is sooooo much better in the new anime. he was definitely a newer voice actor (like a lot of the cast) when the 2001 anime came out, but I blame a lot of the issues I had with his performance before on the voice directing. there are so many times in the old episode where Yuki sounds straight up creepy. i don’t know if they were going for mysterious, but they didn’t get there that’s for sure. he’s more regular and a bit suave in the new one, which makes sense for this part of the story. yuki’s just like.. a huge improvement between these two versions. I always felt like the director of the 2001 anime didn’t get Yuki at all. like he thought he was actually a prince and also just wanted to make a cool character so girls would swoon and buy merch or w/e. I just want Yuki to get his due as a character, dammit!

-if you haven’t watched the original in a while and have hulu or netflix, fire that shit up because the transition to school is sooooo bad. first the prince yuki fanclub and their weird chant thing... and then uo and hana’s introduction is also super abrupt and we’re just firing through these scenes real fast. the new one has the same events happen, but again, it’s more natural. no weird chant! the prince yuki club has just cornered tohru in a hallway and are berating her. a boy even walks past and is like, “yikes, bullying.” because it totally is! the timing on uo and hana to the rescue is a lot better. and i think because of that, it allows the comedy more time to develop so that’s it’s actually funny and not just confusing. also all three of them feel more like comfortable friends. like we’re witnessing their usual dynamic. since the 2001 director was always going for comedy, it almost feels more like an interrogation in the old version.

-THIS! CHANGE! IS SO IMPORTANT! so the 2001 anime races through tohru telling us why she’s living in a tent. lightspeed. we have time for the prince yuki fan club chant, but we can’t spend too much time establishing the drama of the situation. in the 2001 anime, we transition to a literal slideshow basically recreating panels from the manga while tohru monologues over it about how her mom died in an accident but she wound up with her grandpa and he asks her to go live with a friend for a while. we all know the story. the new anime, on the other hand, transitions to an actual flashback, not a still image, of tohru as a kid balancing a checkbook while she explains how her dad passed away and her mom had a tough time all by herself. it’s really sad! and it’s so much more effective to show her as an actual kid worrying about money stuff and making dinner. they also showed a heap of blood instead of a car hitting a wall to represent kyoko’s death, which... woof. and then we get an actual scene of her grandpa asking her if she can stay with a friend. which, again, gives us more time to actually feel the situation she’s in. but also works so well because he phrases it as an option for her. he says he’s worried she won’t be comfortable stuffed into a small house with a ton of people so she might be happier staying elsewhere for a while. and then tohru, OF COURSE, takes that consideration and goes to live in a tent. the transition (which is different between the two) to tohru cleaning up a storm at her job was also a moment of genuine, sweet comedy.

-yuki talking to tohru on the way home is kind of interesting, since the two adaptations treat it in kind of opposite ways? in the 2001 anime there’s that ~mysterious~ music while he tells her random zodiac facts and then silent tension (which I actually quite like) when he gives her that enigmatic “it’s not that i don’t like all cats” look. in the new one it’s a more normal conversation? like they’re just chatting. and then it turns when she realizes there’s something more to it and the music got pretty intense and there’s A Moment. i think it’s less outright sinister in the new one. seriously, i’m waiting for 2001 yuki to start monologuing about his master plan to take over the earth any time.

-shigure laughing at tohru’s tent is straight up funnier in the new one. the timing is better. also his continued laughter and yuki’s little “oh you’re done now?” was really well handled. that joke falls flat in the old version.

-and i don’t know how they do it because, again, these episodes have the same runtime and cover the same material, but this whole scene definitely feels like it takes it’s more time in the new anime. it’s not overstaying it’s welcome or anything. it’s punchy and funny and i loved seeing the characters play off each other. but even shigure opening the door to reveal the gross kitchen is given more of a beat to it, so you have a second to laugh. and him hearing the dog howling isn’t the most awkward thing you’ve seen anymore.

-since we’ve had more time to understand tohru’s situation and even her mom (kyoko is finally allowed to be herself and not Cliche Dead Mom!) through flashbacks in the new anime, tohru clawing at the dirt to get the picture of her mom is actually pretty heart-wrenching. you get it more. everything she has in the world is in that tent and she doesn’t have anything but pictures to remember her mom by. this is what i’m so excited about in the new anime. if you give more time to build motivations and drama, because you understand that’s important to storytelling, then the emotional parts will hit that much harder

-tohru telling shigure about the day her mom died! I've always loved this scene, because it's one of the few times Tohru actually opens up to someone (who's not Kyo :P)about feeling crappy. amazing what a fever can do. these two scenes are so interesting, because they're actually really similar. we get the exact same info, and some of the shots of tohru lying on the futon are basically identical. but once again, the 2001 anime does a lot more telling us what happened. some shots are obvious budget-saving measures, like an extended shot of the paper wall/door with tree shadows waving. (what room are they supposed to be in?? for some reason, I always thought that was the kitchen) (actually the reason was all the rats are behind that door) (you KNOW there are rats in that kitchen) the 2019 anime, on the other hand, goes back to those old reliable flashbacks. we get a repeated (and longer) shot of kyoko going out the door, and you realize as the scene goes on and tohru explains she didn't even wake up to see her leave that morning, that it's an imagined scene or a memory of another day. which is... oof. make me feel all those feelings, please. we also get more actual kyoko dialogue, which is always a good thing.

-I also love yuki showing up after she's fallen asleep, having overheard anything, and saying he could've left the sohma compound to live in a tent. uh, I mean, I love it in the manga and the new anime. I won't put this on the original production staff and more on the original English dub, but oh boy is yuki kind of petulant and whiny in that scene. he sounds very petty and jealous and I don't like it. he's definitely envious of her to a degree (and beating up on himself), but he's also pretty in awe I think. ANYWAY I felt the new dub fixed this, so I wasn't like, what's your problem, dude?

-yuki and the rats is still weird lol (honestly being able to "communicate" with their animal is dropped so damn fast in the manga. I only like it for the payoff of the birds running away from kureno.)

-actually, one of the only things I prefer in the 2001 anime is tohru waking up to her mom's photo right next to the futon. I love the idea of yuki setting it up there real quietly while she sleeps, knowing it's the thing she was most worried about. so cute! but one point for the new dub: i'm assuming tohru says "oka-san" when she wakes up. since it's three syllables and zoomed in on her mouth they've changed(?) it to "I miss you" in English and just stab me right through the heart why don't you!!

-it seems like everyone's saying this, but that staircase scene! it's not even really a scene. but I love it! a cramped little switchback-y staircase. this show is making me feel like i'm IN shigure's house. it's also shot cool, and the reveal of kyo in the tree is great. I love that it's not pointed out so obviously, and he's just there. (it'd be hard to miss him though)

-then of course we end on kyo jumping through the whole damn roof (he really blasts through it in 2019 haha) and everyone turning into animals. no huge differences, but I want to fast forward a little to talk about kyo. jerry jewell may be the member of the returning cast who sounds the most "similar" to his old rendition of the character, HOWEVER. there's a huge change in acting and vocal direction. it might seem like a small change, but it's not! it's really big! in the 2001 anime he jumps through that roof and says a punny line (it would take kyo 6 months to come up with that lbr) and rah-rah rages through the next few episodes when he's not acting sheepish. now he sounds much less like he's just angry and more like he BLURTS things. a thought comes into his head and BLURT it's out of his mouth. because of the increased range in emotional expression on all their faces, we can see that he seriously feels guilty and conflicted about being mean to tohru. like there is some depth there to be mined. it's so much more obvious that the people around him can easily push him to the point of blowing up, and that he doesn't feel in control of himself. I give major props to the animation team, the anime director, and the dub director (I would trust Caitlin Glass with my actual life at this point) for pulling this off. because it seems subtle! but it really is a big difference!

I used to be a pretty staunch believer that we DID NOT need another anime adaptation of fruits basket. I know a lot of people wanted it, but I really never did. I love the manga so much, and think it's masterfully done. after the original anime, I didn't want more of it. mostly, because I didn't trust anyone to do it right. a lot of the changes made by the original anime may seem "small" to many people, but what makes furuba so great to me IS all those tiny nuances. change a tiny detail, and you may have changed the whole feel of a scene or an important interaction. the manga is pretty quiet, for most of it's run. little moments build up to create a big, beautiful tapestry. so I was happy reading my manga over again and not worrying about anyone else ever touching it to bring it to moving color.

so i'd say I was likely to be a harsh judge. and I was really, REALLY impressed with what they accomplished. i'm sure there'll be some decision I disagree with later. they'll cut some scene I love or i'll disagree with the emphasis on something somewhere. but they've really built up a lot of goodwill with me. I LOVED watching these characters on screen and seeing them interact. seeing them all eat around the table together felt like coming home. like settling down for another furuba reread.

and it's all the stuff above that made me feel that way. seemingly little tiny details and differences. again, we're talking about the exact same story! it's told with almost the same lines and the same characters and many of the same jokes. but it really felt different, because of small changes. and a much better understanding of what furuba is.

[moodyvalentinestories]

Istanbul | Natalia x Hunt

He was not going to be the one to keep her from pursuing her dreams.

Fictober 2019 Prompt: #24 – “Patience… is not something I’m known for.” Fan Fiction -- Fandom: Hollywood U

Summary: Natalia needs Hunt's opinion on something. Is she going to get the answer she wants to hear?

Pairing: Thomas Hunt x Natalia (OC/HWU MC)

Word Count: ~ 680 words

Notes: I, uh, had this scheduled for a later day but apparently fucked it up sooooo enjoy getting it earlier... whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

❥ Moodyvalentine’s Full Masterlist ❥ Vacation | Istanbul | Friday the 13th | Nostalgia | I Miss You

"So? What do you think?" Natalia asked, barely able to sit still. She tried her best, though, knowing her nervous bouncing around would only irritate him.

Thomas spoke without looking up from the script she had given him. "I'm not finished yet."

She let out a groan before picking up her cup to take a sip of her coffee. He wasn't a slow reader, she knew that much, so the only conclusion she could come to was that he was stalling.

"I'm analysing, Natalia," he said, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "You came to me for my honest opinion so the least you can do is be patient."

"Ah, patience," she mused, "is not something I'm known for."

Still refusing to look at her, he said, "Then I suppose it's a good thing I'm here to help you learn it."

"Thomas," she said firmly. She knew something was up and she wasn't going to let him evade whatever it was.

With a sigh, he put down the stack of papers, barely being held together by a worn-out paperclip. "Fine. From what I can tell, it's a decent project."

"But?" she asked, an eyebrow raised. There was more to it. For some reason, he disapproved, and she needed to know why.

He silently cursed her for being so damn perceptive when it came to him. "It's just... it's in Istanbul."

Oh. Oh. She grinned. "You don't want me to leave, is that it?"

Yes. For Christ's sake, yes! That was exactly it. But he couldn't very well tell her that. This wasn't about him. This was about her, and he knew that this job would help her career. He was not going to be the one to keep her from pursuing her dreams.

"I don't care if you leave or not," he said pointedly, hoping to convince her. The flinch he earned as a reaction told him he'd succeeded. "But didn't you say you didn't want to leave the country for work again so soon?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to contain the anger that had risen inside her when he used that tone with her. She was no longer his student and he had no right to speak to her in this way. Nonetheless, this was not the time for arguing. Her agent expected a response by the end of the day, and despite everything, she valued her former professor's opinion.

"And I'd prefer not to leave," she said calmly. "But this is a pretty big deal. And I was just wondering if you'd agree that it's a good idea. Do you think it might be worth it?"

No. No, he didn't think it might be worth it. He knew it would be. And he also knew that if he told her it wasn't, she'd stay. But he couldn't let his selfish desires stop her from doing what she loved.

"Yes, I believe so," he said eventually and reached for his coffee. "When would you be leaving?"

"In about two months."

He paused with his cup halfway to his mouth. Two months. That wasn't a lot of time.

"And how long would you be gone?" he asked as he put down his coffee for fear his trembling hands would drop the cup otherwise.

The way she bit her lip made him worry for the answer. And rightly so. "Six."

"Six weeks?" he asked, knowing it wasn't what she meant.

She shook her head. "Six months. We're filming all episodes back-to-back."

Six months. Now, that was a lot of time.

"How wonderful," he said, feigning nonchalance. "You'll remain in the right mindset then."

"Right," she said and took another sip of her coffee.

It wasn't the answer she'd hoped for. She'd wanted him to ask her to stay. But why would he have? Just because she was one of the few people he actually talked to somewhat voluntarily, that didn't mean he wanted to keep her around all the time. It had been foolish of her to think that.

If only she knew how wrong she was.

Tags: @lilyofchoices​ @trappedinfandoms​ @flyawayboo​ @alleksa16​ @silversparrow02​ @hopelessromantic1352​

[kewltie]

YEAR END FIC REVIEW

This year I wrote: 

biological imperative 

wings of icarus

war of the roses

sugar, we’re going down

you are cordially invited...

garden of eden

your kiss tastes so red

hana to ryuu 

a demolition boy & his cryptid bf

the fox’s bride

when dandelion roars

hope is a four letter word

butterfly pinned under glass

the devil and the deep blue sea

vol 1: goodbye halcyon days

papa said to knock you out

my boy builds coffin

love meme, hate meme

interlude: paper darling

in rouge

at the feet of the world

that’s 21 stories (124k words!!!) and that’s discounting all the random fic snippets that i wrote only on tumblr so far. 

Overall thoughts

My actual writing year didn’t really start until like in May which mean the bulk of my writing was in the last half of the year. I spent most of the first half reposting and moving my eunhae fic over to ao3 so I didn’t actually have any new fic to post (even tho i was prob still writing away with random fic ideas anyway but no actual completed fic to post) until I wrote BI for bakudeku and that pretty much sealed the deal for me. New fandom, new pairing, and new obsession. Honestly coming in I was worry how slow I was writing and how I didn’t get much done but looking at my fic list and my wordcounts and HOW I DID IT ALL IN HALF A YEAR... im pretty impress with myself :D.

Also, I think it’s a good time as any to finally realize and accept when you finally  move on to a new fandom. So thank you v v v v much to my old fandom for nurturing me and helping me grow as i writer these past five years. You made every eunhae fic worth it, thank you again!!!!

My best story of the year

“A demolition boy & his cryptid bf” if all the kudoes that keep on coming tell me. Here’s a random tidbit about it: i wrote it all in like 2-3 days in some sort of mad spur. social media style fic was something i did for eunhae before so it wasn’t new to me so i guess that’s why it came easy enough LOL but this was little more intensive just bc i wanted it look even better but im sooooo glad ppl were so accepting of it despite the style of the fic and the way it was format. you guys rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gave me enough confident to start “love meme, hate meme” even tho im pretty sure i was going to do it anyway lol. 

My favorite story of the year

“love meme, hate meme,” only bc it is my masterpiece in term of how fucking damn pretty it is and how much blood, sweat, and tears i poured into it just to get that damn FONT COLOR RIGHT. 

Most fun story to write

“papa said to knock you out” aka kasumi ‘verse only bc she literally wrote herself. her voice come clear and true to me and i had such a fun time writing in her pov!! it also plays into my dumb romcom trope that i always love bc royalty au? CHECK? single parents? CHECK CHECK? past secret love affair? CHEEEEEEEECK. it’s just all so damn cliche and it’s me to T and i fucking love it. 

Story with the single sexiest moment

“In Rouge” played with a lot of things i love where it borders on sexy/intimate without crossing the line. like im 90% sure bakudeku were going to bang in the restroom but the fact that it’s THE RESTROOM IN THEIR SCHOOL and katsuki is damn good bf and wouldn’t want their first time in that shitty place so yea hands to themselves. but honestly i don’t do smut/nsfw but i always tread the water with it lol with my kink fics bc i am kinky v v v much so but i do in a way that is comfortable with me without dealing with explicit sex and im really glad i get to show off that in my fic bc sexy doesn’t alway have to lead up to sex ya know???? 

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story

"my boy builds coffin” a katsuki that kill sends shiver down to spine but man writing it and thinking what push him over the edge was exciting only bc i love my fluff in general but i highkey love dark and edgy stuff too esp super dysfunctional relationship, yo. 

Story that shifted my own perception of the characters

"My boy builds coffin” for sure. Only because I wanted to stretch how Katsuki would fall and understand the length he would go to ensure a future where izuku is alive and thriving and I THOUGHT man if your future bf who is this scarred and traumatized individual person come back in time to protect you by killing every fucking thing that hurt you and instead of freaking the fuck out you’re like “um, IM SO JEALOUS OF MY FUTURE SELF TO HAVE THIS PERSON DEDICATE THEIR LIFE TO THEM” and im like fuck bc that’s the kind of fucked upness that i love. 

Hardest story to write

if it isn’t “love meme, hate meme” than THIS IS YEAR IS FUCKING CANCEL. the formatting,juggling a gazillion of usernames, the font color and text, THE FANFIC ARCHIVE etc everything i have to carefully format and code even tho i have extremely and bullshit knowledge of it. 

Biggest disappointment

nothing???? i love ALL MY BABIES. but no really that fucking mad max au im writing and was supposed to be posted yest.... DAMN YOU. 

Biggest surprise

Uh, “demolition boy” and probably “kasumi verse” only bc i never intend for either of them to happen :P. 

Most unintentionally telling story

the vampire fic my entire reason for writing it is so I CAN PROCRASTINATE ON THE ACTUAL FI IM SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING. i wrote it all in one sitting passed waaaay into the AMs. that’s... some dedication to my procrastination. 

Story I haven't written yet, but intend to

the age gap abo childhood friends au i have been working on the side :S.

Goals for this year: 

Finished all my major projects (kasumi ‘verse, wedding verse, social media au, stepbro au)

hopefully i can get started on gasoline verse aka the post zombie fest where bakudeku tried to survived it by building the most codependent fucked up relationship possible :D; it’s letting your bf become a ‘zombie’ just bc you can’t live without him 

WRITE AT LEAST ONE TODODEKUBAKU FIC!!!!!

thank you soooooo much for putting up with this year!!!! i know im really bad at replying/commenting and interacting with you guys but i want you to all know i feel incredibly blessed and humble by all your kindness and support. you all treated me so well last year and this year I hope to return your kind gesture by giving you more stories to read in 2019!!! :D

[migleefulmoments]

Is Darren’s watch gay?

Today the CC fandom has a theory that Darren wore his PINK and blue watch because it’s a “gay” watch or a symbol of his queerness.... because PINK obviously means gay, right? 

The watch has the added advantage of being both pink and blue ...therefore it’s a solid representation of both Chris and Darren -at least according to the CC belief that blue represents Chris and PINK represents Darren, like DUH! For anyone new, the color symbolism is something the CCers have long believed....I mean, that is something normal adults do right? Assign colors to their OTP or even better, to themselves and then actually wear those colors once a year to send a secret “high-five” to those fans who are paying enough attention to “get it”..I mean it’s totes normal, right?  

Anonymous asked:

hello love! i hope you’re doing well! i know this doesn’t mean anything but i saw the thumbnail for the interview you linked of d saying he doesn’t know who he came out straight to and he’s wearing a watch with a blue band and pink face and i noticed he’s wearing either the same or a similar watch when rehearsing in lsb! but then his watch changes and i thought it was weird,,, anyway sorry for the ramble!!

ajw720 answered:

Hello nonnie!!!!  Excellent observation.  That is a watch he has had for years, He used to always wear it, now much less, likely not approved by his team, plus often the watch he wears now is a paid endorsement.

But the pink and blue watch, that is genuine D and what he loves.  Add pink is D and Blue is C and those colors have been associated with their relationship since the beginning.

I always smile when he wears that watch. I think it is very special to him.

LSB rehearsal 2019. He clearly looks happy and like his watch is “special to him” and we all know that photos (and screen grabs) are PROOF of Darren’s emotions. 

LSB BTS package 2019. He’s MUCH happier here. 

George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight 2012 

Apparently, Darren hasn’t worn the watch much -not something I have ever paid attention to- but it was spotted on his arm during rehearsals for LSB. It’s clearly not the same watch as the band is teal in the 2012 screen grab and blue in the more recent one.  

(I posted the comments out of order so ya know go read the original if you want a more accurate reflection of their thought process).

Sometimes the CC Conspiracy Theorists catch the fact that the items they are matching- don’t actually match....

souly

If I remember correctly, this is not the original watch though. I don’t remember what he said about the original one, but he stopped wearing it for a while. At the first Elsie (or was it the second?), a fan gave him the new watch. There was a post about it back then, but I don’t know if it’s still around.

Anyway, I do believe though that he loves this watch for what it stands for - the original and the new one - so it always makes me smile when I see it!

(Plus, these BTS videos made it obvious that he is wearing the silver one for promotion and prefers the other one in private. And now look at the paps shots and so-called “private outings with friends” again and look at the watch he is wearing there.)

flowersintheattic254

I’m happy that at least he can wear something that’s special to him personally. Even for a short time.

There is always a “no longer available” post to explain CC Confirmed. As for whether it is special to him? Darren has never indicated that the watch is special to him. That is called MAKING UP A STORY. But from this day forward the fandom will believe that this little queer watch is meaningful to Darren. 

The watch is a sporty, more causal-and presumably less expensive- than the watch he has been wearing.  Wearing a less expensive, more casual watch while exercising isn’t logical CC reasoning, noooooo, logical CC reason is of course that his team WON’T LET HIM wear it. He has to be sneaky when he wants to express his sexuality through accessories. Also, they claim that he is forced to wear a “paid endorsement” watch most of the time.. 

ajw720

@flowersintheattic254 it has been almost 5 months since the JH promo began and they essentially stripped him of the rings we know mean the world to him (absolutely intentional, M and RR knew precisely what they were doing when they got that campaign, it was about much more than a free trip to Bali).  So I agree, it is good to see him supplement an accessory here and there that is actually meaningful to him.  I cannot wait until he is free to just be himself.

Sooooo, I’m not entirely sure why she brought up “JH promo” here, but I read it to mean that the watch that he normally wears is promotion for John Hardy. They have obsessively raged about the John Hardy jewelry since his trip to Bali in September. Yes, I am sure that was a promotional trip. Who cares? He got to spend a week in Bali and all he and Mia had to do was wear some jewelry. Darren seems to enjoy the designs as he has worn them quit a bit since then- UNTAGGED. I honestly never pay attention to these things but the CCers always comment. The thing is, something is only “promotion” on social media if it is tagged. Wearing an untagged ring or bracelet isn’t in anyway promoting the item. Only the most diehard, rage-filled fans recognize the untagged John Hardy pieces. The idea of promotion isn’t simply to get free stuff and wear it on social media, it’s to drive traffic to the John Hardy website and them to get people to actually purchase the pieces. Wearing them untagged doesn’t serve this goal. 

But back to the watch...is Darren wearing an (untagged) John Hardy watch as per his endorsement deal?

Uh, NO.  There are no John Hardy Watches. If he is wearing a promotional watch for a different brand-he really sucks at it.

Some thoughts on other CC comments:

...they essentially stripped him of the rings we know mean the world to him (absolutely intentional, M and RR knew precisely what they were doing when they got that campaign, it was about much more than a free trip to Bali).  So I agree, it is good to see him supplement an accessory here and there that is actually meaningful to him.  I cannot wait until he is free to just be himself.

So let’s analyze the facts: 

Chris gave him ring(s)? The CCers have long claimed that Chris gave Darren a ring, a ring he often- but not always-wears on his right hand. Over the years, there are I believe, 5 different rings that Darren has worn and all were attributed to Chris until the John Hardy rings were added in September. Why were they attributed to Chris? Literally NO reason whatsoever other than their fantasy.  These same people have raged over their claim that Mia has sported 5 different engagement rings in the last year. The rings all look to me like the same diamond ring with other rings added when the mood struck her. CC Mia is horrible for caring so little about her Engagement Ring that she would wear 5 different rings, but Chris is romantic AF for giving Darren 5 rings. 

The rings are meaningful to Darren? Darren has NEVER said the rings hold any meaning for him or who they are from that I am aware of. He doesn’t wear them consistently. Seems to me that they are fashion accessories and nothing more. He’s worn the John Hardy’s rings quite a bit since September.  Clearly, the CC fandom couldn’t claim the John Hardy rings are from Chris, so they fell back on their favorite excuse: his team “forced” him to wear the rings. I’m never sure exactly how one “forces” another adult to do something. I’ve been married for 24 years, if someone can tell me how to “force” him to do my bidding, I would love it.    

One final CC comment on this topic- The Impossible Dream comment

bjpb08

Concur @ajw720. The thing is D has always found a way to fight back, sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly. We have seen it on the frontline, we do not see behind the camera or in the soecifics of his life. Sometimes I am sure he has sat it out, waiting. D has said too many times he is private, social media is not his way of communicating. He seems to pick whatever means he is afforded. Glimpses that we see, I love…it reminds me he is fighting and still remains the human being I so love and support. He is Dar/ren Eve/rett Cri/ss first and formost a son, brother, uncle, cousin, but first and formost a partner to one Chr/is Col/fer. He will do what he needs to do for those he loves. And that includes fighting a foe that we will never know the depth of.

To dream the impossible dream

To fight the unbeatable foe

To bear with unbearable sorrow

To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong

To love pure and chaste from afar

To try when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest, to follow that star

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far

To fight for the right

Without question or pause

To be willing to march

Into hell for a heavenly cause

And I know if I’ll only be true

To this glorious quest

That my heart will lay peaceful and calm

When I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this

That one man scorned and covered with scars

Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To fight the unbeatable foe

To reach the unreachable star

Songwriters: Joe Darion / Mitchell Leigh

The Impossible Dream lyrics © The Bicycle Music Company, Helena Music Company

I believe D would not agree. This song always comes back to haunt me in relationship to D. He lives it, he breathes it, he feels it on a daily bases. Soon he will find he will reach the reachable star.

D has always found a way to fight back, sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly? Yes, because the CC fandom literally fabricated all of these things he did to “fight back”. The things are “subtle” because the fandom made them up...they are overt because they made them up.  As long as CCers continue to make up claims about what he is doing and how it represents a ‘fight”, Darren will continue to “fight” back in ways that are asinine. He will continue to hide deep In the closet while sending the CC fandom subtle messages of his “truth”.  He will continue to walk the red carpet with Mia and take her to awards shows where he says nice things about her. He will continue to be a straight bro, to wear John Hardy jewelry and play piano at Tramp Stamp Granny’s BECAUSE THAT IS WHO HE IS. The CC fandom will continue to claim that everything he does that we see and everything he says that we hear- is all fake or forced upon him by this team while he lives a secret queer life with his husband Chris Colfer. A life we cannot see or hear BECAUSE IT ISN’T REAL, it’s pure CC fantasy. And his story will continue to be something only they are paying enough attention to see it because they are the ones writing it.

D has said too many times he is private, social media is not his way of communicating. He seems to pick whatever means he is afforded. This is literally an argument for why he isn’t secretly communicating with the CC fandom via social media. 

Isn’t it convenient that “he seems to pick whatever means we fabricate he is afforded”? He will always “conveniently” do whatever fits the CC fantasy...that is how it works when you are writing the fanfiction as you go.

Is Darren’s life The Impossible Dream? The CC fantasy about love conquering all and CrissColfer being “a love for the ages” is how tweens and young teens believe love works. It is fodder for fanfiction and the best rom-coms, Twilight and Disney Princess-esque romance novels, but it isn’t real life. Real life is messy and hard. Love rarely survives even the most mundane stressors of life, it would never survive

9 years of hiding from the world while the spotlight is focused directly on it

9 years of being apart and pretending to love someone else 

9 years of overt lying about Darren’s sexuality and his life

9 years of traveling with someone else and sharing his life with Mia with the world

9 years of mundane real-life stressors while hiding

Add on Chris’s mom’s death, his dad’s remarriage, his sister’s illness,  Chuck’s divorce, and all of the things we don’t know about

Love doesn’t save people from life’s difficult moments. Love certainly doesn’t excuse deception and lies. Darren isn’t gay because he wears a PINK and blue watch. 

[flydotnet]

Lost in the Flow

Femslash February 2019 - Day 3: Lost

Summary: Séverine lost her shit when she thought she had lost her best friend and her girlfriend in a single blow.

Fandom: Original Work Ship: Three-way Séverine/Juliette/Lucie (subsets: established Séverine/Juliette)

Wordcount: 1K words

Notes: I have ascended to another plane by writing mostly crack pairings for this month. It's been so much fun. It's actually because I want to have a different ship for each day, but since the only F/F Regular Canon ships for PDV are Magda/Louise and Sarah/Juliette, I had to get inventive. This ship has come from literally nowhere but I guess it's a thing I ship now?

Alternate Canon where Juliette worked at l'Esplanade, started dating Séverine around 2012 and then Lucie arrived back into Séverine's life. Also Lucie and Juliette attended the same middle school, which makes me think it could be a neat idea to have Lucie come from Boulogne to solve all my pesky backstory holes. That'd give Juliette some fucking friends outside of Corinne and Clémence.

Gotta admit, I took this prompt very losely.

Event hosted by @femslashfeb

AO3 version available here.

She had almost lost her friend and girlfriend in the most stupid argument she had ever gotten herself into.

 It had all started on a giant misunderstanding on her part. She had spotted Lucie, whom she thought was her best colleague and friend, with her girlfriend, Juliette, talking about… less than orthodox matters. At first, when she began overhearing them in an attempt to either join the conversation or discover something dirty, their tone was playful and humorous, neither of them taking the conversation seriously.

 It all seemed like friendly banter when she realized they were speaking about past acts and deeds. That was the point where Séverine utterly lost her shit and barged into the conversation, furious, lost and heartbroken for the first real time of her life. She had known Lucie for a few years now, having met her in a previous training session and then becoming her colleague, but she did so after Juliette and she had started dating. What the hell were they talking about?! Was Lucie cheating on her since the beginning?!

Wait, that had come out the wrong way. Lucie and she weren’t dating… albeit the option seemed pretty damn neat.

 “Can I know what the fuck that bullshit’s all about?!” was all she could scream without wanting to kick something in the nuts with her heels.

“Uh ho, seems like we got eavesdropped,” Juliette deadpanned back, turning her head towards her own girlfriend.

“W-wait, Sév, I can explain!!” Lucie instead slightly panicked, before getting herself back together. “It’s all a giant misunderstanding, I promise.”

“My ass it is!!”

 Before she knew it, Séverine was pinned to the ground by Juliette’s hands pressing on her shoulders, forcing her to stay where she was and not kick someone in the goddam stomach. That was the most radical way to get her to shut up and listen to what she’d be told, so she indeed shut the fuck up and got ready to bark back at the first occasion. Her blood was already boiling inside her veins, so it’d better be clear or be a real good reason to discuss past smut together.

 “We were talking about our previous relationship. Juliette and I used to be friends in middle school, and we met again in college when we started dating… I was her tutoress in middle school, if I’m not wrong,” Lucie started explaining in this calm tone of hers that never betrayed her emotions, ever.

“Yep, that’s exactly how it went”, Juliette added, her hands still firmly on Séverine’s shoulders.

“So, that was before or after you dated Benoît?”

“That was before. We dated in high school, and then it kinda fell apart, as you’ve gotten to know, and it was before you dated him too.”

“Ah, yeah, thanks for clarifying that. And that means…”

“We were talking about what we used to do in bed, yeah”, Juliette replied with an ounce of amusement at her girlfriend’s bewilderment.

“…oh.”

She felt lost in the stream of things and, as such, felt very fucking dumb. Seemed like she wasn’t tired of embarrassing herself for stupid reasons.

 “However…” Lucie’s voice trailed off in uncertainty and her turquoise eyes looked away, light source changing.

“However what?”

God, she kept getting lost in what the hell this was all supposed to be about.

“We may have some explaining to do, you see, Séverine.”

“And that means?”

 Juliette’s hands let her free, finally, and she walked up next to Lucie’s side, positioning herself with a solemnity rarely seen around here. There was something serious going on, and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but the vibe this was giving out was awful and she hated it very much, thank you.  

“Hang with us for a second, Sév,” she then told her, as if she needed to be reminded not to be a savage bitch.

“What we want to tell you is that,” Lucie gulped in a rare glimpse of uncertainty, “we have an issue, and that we seem to both love each other and you at the same time.”

“Come again?!”

 Okay, that didn’t make sense, at first. How could you be crushing on two persons at the same time? Was that a lame excuse for Juliette to cheat on her? C’mon, that didn’t make sense… until it did. It… really kind of did, the more she thought about it. It made a lot more sense than she had first thought, even, if it didn’t make it suck any less. It was even the opposite.

“Sooooo… We’ve got ourselves in a tricky love triangle, right?”

“Right,” Lucie’s voice replied with more assurance.

“And your solution to that issue is?”

“Polyamory,” Juliette responded with no hesitation, no flinch, her brown eyes starting right inside her official girlfriend’s.

“Oh. Yeah, makes sense, I guess.”

 Lucie stepped forward, giving Séverine a steady hand. Not even an ounce of trembling. This woman truly was a strong and stoic one, wasn’t she.

“The only thing missing is your agreement,” Juliette commented as she looked at the two other women in the room.

“Well, huh, lemme think this through before I decide to do anything stupid…”

 Séverine stared at the hand in front of her, mind flooding with a thousand ideas by the minute. While it was true she loved Juliette, she really did, she couldn’t see herself without her at her side and without being by her side, she had remaining, lingering feelings for Lucie which were oddly and intensely similar, as if she, indeed, was crushing on two persons at once. She wanted to kiss Juliette, but she also wanted to wrap her arms around Lucie and peck her, and sleeping with the two of them was an idea too good to pass up. Maybe this could, indeed, be the best solution and the better way out of their stupid, farfetched love triangle.

“Guess that could work,” she finally answered as she picked the hand.

“Glad to have you on board for this epic twist in our relationship, then,” Juliette concluded.

 In a sense, Séverine felt strangely sound and afloat when her fingers intertwined with Lucie’s and Juliette’s, and everything became natural once again. She, really, could get used to getting twice as much attention.

[lainahastoomuchsparetime]

Let’s talk about last year first!

I did a couple of challenges in 2019. The first one was the Fold 2019 Reading Challenge.

And here’s what I read.

January, February and March

April, May, June

July, August, September

And then here’s where I kind of fell down. So, first of all, I forgot to order books from the library. So by the time they got here, it was like… mid-December. And then I had the October one, and it’s “a book by an African writer”. And I realized I’d ordered a book by a white African author and realized, you know. That was perhaps Missing The Point and rather tone-deaf.

Since clearly I could do much better, I ordered a different book… but by then it was like December 20th, and none of my holds came in before the library closed for Christmas, and it’s not opening again til this week. So I could read one of the four books I had left, but that seemed a bit pointless.

So! Since I still have holds on those, I’ll probably just read them anyways and update… let’s be real, probably December 2020 😛 I’m being flexible. I’m trying to be more flexible. Anyways, I’ll be doing the challenge again in 2020, but they haven’t updated their website yet, so I don’t have much on that one yet.

I also said I was doing Beat the Backlist, but I didn’t do very well on that. Here’s what I did read:

The Kind of Friends We Used to Be by Frances O’Roark Dowell

Kimchi & Calamari by Rose Kent

Flunked by Jen Calonita

Ten Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn’t Have) by Sarah Mlynowski

Killing Britney by Sean Olin

The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove by Lauren Kate

Obsessed (aka The Crush and The Crush II) by Jo Gibson

Charlotte the Starlet by Barbara Ware Holmes

Could Dracula Live in Woodford? by Mary Howarth

Please Remove Your Elbow From My Ear by Martyn Godfrey

Sophie Hits Six by Dick King-Smith

Voices by Damien Graves

Blood and Sand -//-

Night of the Pet Zombies by A. G. Cascone

Welcome to the Terror-Go-Round -//-

I also continued the “throw all the books I read in a box in my closet for a year” thing, so pictures!

Books on the left are books I read and I’m keeping, and books on the right are ones I read and I’m giving away.

And these are the books that I decided not to read and to give away for whatever reason, either just admitting I was never going to read them, or because I tried them and wasn’t into them.

Goodreads:

Like I said, I’m setting my goal to 52 books this year!

50 Book Challenge has not updated yet!

So, I did a decent job at the Beat the Backlist challenge, but I think a lot of it is that it’s not exactly what I want from my challenge in this particular area. Sooooo when I saw this?

This is *specifically* a challenge to read the books you own, and that’s exactly what I wanted! Also, it started on my birthday, so clearly it’s meant to be. All the graphics for this challenge are so cute, too.

I don’t normally make solid goals within this, but maybe I should. I think I’ll say… since blue stars are for finishing a goal, maybe I’ll say for every 5 books I do, I’ll get one of those? That seems reasonable.

As for a TBR list. Uh. Mine is this:

It’s a French fry box with… stuff. A lot of stuff.

So I think that’s all the post for now! The 2020 FOLD Challenge still hasn’t posted so I can’t really do much there, but this is where I’m sitting now. I think that’s all the info we need right now. You get an idea of things!

That’s it for me for today. What are your goals? Or are you just winging it this year?

Peace and cookies, Laina

2020 Reading Challenges (and 2019 Update) + #StartOnYourShelfathon Let's talk about last year first! I did a couple of challenges in 2019. The first one was the Fold 2019 Reading Challenge.

[cbocstar]

hiiii it’s me colly!

Hii it’s been a long while since I wrote out my thoughts on here.  I just wanted to recollect and self reflect on some feelings i’ve been feeling lately. SO it all started in march when I noticed I was beginning to feel more of myself again. Like I just felt more of me. Like the sadness is yeah its still there and the betrayal i felt from craig is always going to be there i think. And the trauma and the anger I have for him of what he did to me and put me through will always be there. But I found myself finally feeling like ready? Ready to take a leap of faith and get myself back out there into the dating pool/pond.  AND LET ME TELL YOU!!! It is so fucking exhausting. I hate the swiping. And I hate feeling writing my bio to the point where I feel like i’m selling a pitch to shark tank. LIKE SEELLLING MYSELF AND MY QUALITIES of what makes ME special or what someone will get out of when they date me. LOL idk it’s so hard. I think that’s another thing I need to work on. Loving myself. And taking ownership on yes I am weird, yes I am shy. But yes I am awesome and I am beautiful. It just takes time to see that. Anyway I was losing hope on these datin g apps when i would get bomboarded with dudes asking me questions on if I live at home, or if i live alone. And it made me self conscious like. Is it bad that I live at home with my mom? It’s so expensive to move out. Like I cant even afford living in the bay area if i did try and move out and find a roomie. LOL. I guess i feel ashamed, because of that. And whenever I would match with someone they would either unmatch themselves right away after i message them. or they just never replied. So it was kinda frustrating i guess. Like whats the point?  Anyway my school friend and my brother suggested me to try out the dating app of Meetme. And LOL i was skeptical because of the amount of messages I would receive the first time I downloaded it. And So i tried it again. And I just got sooooooo many messages from dudes. And the ages just ranged from 18-21; 40-60 year olds. And It just made my stomach sink. I just I cant see myself dating someone that’s 40 and me being 27. Idk I just I cant. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE MESSAGING ME ASKING IF I WOULD LIKE TO TRY OUT LIMP DICK LMFAO?! HELLO? WHAT LOL or if i would like to be their substitution to viagra. creeper bye. And so it just made me really freaked out. And then at this time Steven messaged me and I was just cautious. But he made me laugh and he was the only one that was close to my age. So I felt like that was fine. But the overwhelming messages from 40-60 year olds creeping on my profile and asking me if i wanted to lick them or if i was interested in finding a daddy. Just I couldnt. So I decided to just delete my photos because ya girl just was creeped out at that point. And steven then messaged and asked me if I was quitting because he noticed I was removing my photos and i just explained to him and he was just really shocked. And i asked him if he ever experienced that on his end and he just said no. So I was just like LUCKY DUCK.  Anyway, we talked more on the app of meetme messages. He made me laugh. I thought he was pretty charming and cute as well. He has a list of interests that is sooooo different from me which made me feel very insecure or uneasy. I’m not active and I have had bad experiences of camping and outdoors but I am always willing to try new things. And I feel like I just couldnt do long distance anymore. especially after the abuse I went through with craig and phillip. I just I can’t do that anymore. I need someone here for me physically. And steven is literally a few miles away so i was glad. SO we do have a shared interest which is anime c: and cute animals and food and books and gaming. And he asked me out on a date to go to Dave n Busters. 

SO GUESS WHAT ya girl went to dave n busters. that was the first date. met him upstairs. I awkwardly walked over and gave him a hug while I shivered and we played a lot of games together. Then we had cheeese BURGERSS. There he let me have some of his beer which I took a few sips didnt enjoy it though. LOL and He just laughed. Then he mentioned about how there’s sea glass on the beach and how he wanted to show it to me. And  I was just like uh i guess? I just have to be back at this time to get picked up. And he’s just like oh we will have time dont worry. SO I WENT IN HIS CAR (and my friend has shamed me for it lol saying how stupid i was to go in his car lol on the first date and how lucky i am to be alive and not killed and stuff) And I dont know It just didnt register in my head until I got to the beach so i did send my location to my best friend. so she knew where I was. even tho my girl is in texas and im in california LOl. so when we got to the beach we actually picked up sea glass and it just it felt like a movie. or something I read in books. It was soft and slow and I just felt safe. And we just huddled together as the wind pushed us together. And I asked to hold his hand and he just laughed exasperated and was like “OHMYGOD U DONT HAVE TO ASK just hold my hand its fine” and yeah so i got to hold his hand.  After the date we talked on the phone and it just nice.  Second date: Steven took me to the science museum playground for kids. It was so much fun we saw cute animals and interacted with the science experiments. There was a lot of sequin textures sensorys and it just was so nice. LOL he drew a lit hand sign while i tried to make an xD face, but failed. Then we were hungry so he took me to have poke (IT WAS MY FIRST TIME LOL) and it was delicious but i was kinda hungry still. After he took me to this   old bookstore and we roamed the aisle looking at different books. Then he took me to his place where we shared our first kiss. I was really shy and scared but we took things slow and sat on his bed and cuddled. He was really upset when he found out that I never cuddled before. I didn't understand why he was upset but he just told me he felt sad that I never had that intimate connection. And at first I was bored but towards the last hour I felt really cozy and it just felt nice, the way his hands wrapped around my waist. I did get aroused which kinda freaked me out because I never really felt that sensation before. LOL so it made me really anxious. LIKE CALM DOWN COLLEENY. Third date: We did some shopping at TarzHay (target) lolol and daiso together. it felt nice. Then we went back to his place to have dinner. He shared his dinner with me and it was really good and after we cuddled and kissed and watched youtube videos together. And it just was really romantic.  Fourth date: Went to a movie on a work night. we saw The saga of tanya the evil. And it was fun watching anime with him. And I was just soo shy i didnt hold his hand I just we just focused watching the movie together and enjoying each others company.  Fifth date:  went to fanime (anime convention) for the FIRST TIMEEE  last saturday ( may  25, 2019) i met up with him there! I cosplayed as kiki from kiki’s delivery service. it was fun! So he was playing ddr well competing in the tournament. for a lil 3 hours ish. After we went to get something to drink so he bought me a drink...it was sweet but somewhat bitter but i did enjoy the sugar that was decorated coated around the  rim of the glass. And  i got hyper ish LOL And steven just laughed. But i let him finish it for me because I couldnt. Then we went to go walk to get food. in line there was a guy talking to him. And the guy asked us what we were and if we been here bfore. and steven said it was his first time not being alone. and i said it was my first time. and then I just stuttered and got shy because we havent discussed what we were to each other. Like we just only talked about us liking each other a lot. And how we both enjoyed each others company. So I replied with “we dd-d-d--dateing? We on a d ate. we dating. date. uh yeh uh” and then steven wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in close to him and added “ yeah we are going steady.” AND OOOOOOO I BLUSHED SO HARDDDDDDDD. aaaa still blushing LOL  Anyway lol food was delcious. i had a bento curry chicken box. Then we sat down and rested our feet in the hall and he took a nap on my thigh lol. it was cute and i just scratched his forehead bc i was too scare to scratch his head LOL. and then we watched the season 3 of attack on titan together and he held my hand and my arm and it just felt nice.  I curled up against him and we just enjoyed watching 5 episodes together.  Sixth date:  today saturday june 1, 2019 is gonna be the sixth date. sooooo ILL JUST KEEP U  POSTED On what we are gonna do. loool time for bed