#then a month off...
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i just realized- 6 more months exactly until my birthday- that's... depressing- 😓
#tw: vent(ish?) in the tags#i still feel a year younger#i feel like i didnt do anything this year..-#😵💫#idk i need to find smt to feel good about and i feel so close to it...#i feel so close...#but it's just not in reach and idk what to do abt it#the things who make me who i am haven't changed for the past year#im still the kid who likes drawing bsd and music#the kid who everyone knows but doesn't have that many close friends#😮💨#mid-life crisis as a teen 🙌#dying in my twenties 🙌🙌#(/half joking)#i just wanna hug#but i dont really know how to ask for one#(pretty sure my mom would wonder what's wrong and my brother would look at me weird)#ik i should probably just start making healthy life choices but i cant be bothered#just three more months of school...#then a month off...#then half a month later im back in school to start it all over again...#i just wanna go Home#batrambles#batdiary#sorry this is so long and so weird(if you even made it this far)-
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this year while we all celebrate pride month and celebrate ourselves as well as those who came before us and paved the way for us to do so, we must also think of those in gaza, queer or not, who live every day under a brutal occupation and don’t have that same privilege. happy pride, and may we see a free palestine in this lifetime.
#free palestine#palestine#pride month#pride#gaza#lgbt#lgbtqia#zionists get the FUCK off this post. nobody fucking wants you here.
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
#This was prompted by a specific thing but it is also about dozens and dozens of things#Everyone going “XYZ is actually bad” like congratulations I wasn't saying stuff can't be bad.#I was saying that you should ask yourself these questions first bc sometimes it's just not to your sensibility.#Former Prime Queue-sector of the Trust#ETA: now that it's been months and this is going around again while certain conversations happen in other fandoms I'm in#It's good to clarify what specifically set off this post even tho it applies to many things. But this was about someone#saying Midst is thematically and narratively incoherent bc it wasn't “everyone is miserable forever and nobody gets better” like they wante
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PSA: Tumblr/Wordpress is preparing to start selling our user data to Midjourney and OpenAI.
you have to MANUALLY opt out of it as well.
to opt out on desktop, click your blog ➡️ blog settings ➡️ scroll til you see visibility options and it’ll be the last option to toggle.
to opt out on mobile, click your blog ➡️ scroll then click visibility ➡️ toggle opt out option.
if you’ve already opted out of showing up in google searches, it’s preselected for you. if you don’t have the option available, update your app or close your browser/refresh a few times. important to note you also have to opt out for each blog you own separately, so if you’d like to prevent AI scraping your blog i’d really recommend taking the time to opt out. (source)
#ai#tumblr ai#midjourney#openai#protect your creative efforts and don’t let them profit off your work!!#fuck tumblr they specifically said months ago they’d NEVER sell user data yet here we are#AND after the ceo has been harassing trans users like wtf is this fucking site becoming#tumblr news#tumblr#tumblr update#anti ai#support human artists
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guess who finally finished the main part of their final and can now draw poolverine without feeling guilty?? It is I!!!
#been working on my book non stoo for like 2-3 months and I sent it off to print yesterday#i still have some things left to do but I do finally have some time for other things again!!#woooo!!#so take this poolverine wip#they have taken over my life#deadpool#wolverine#poolverine#WIP
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deepthroating a gun without breaking eye contact...... he put his entire gongyussy into that | SQUID GAME 2
+ the video because the sound he makes when he puts the gun in his mouth? [redacted]
update: he improvised that. the man really said i'll go full slut.
#my beautiful unhinged wife..... you know the salesman is an utter freak on the streets and in the sheets#i watched one episode of the new squid game for the plot#the plot: gong yoo showing off his lack of gag reflex <3. he gloc on that glock etc.#the way he drags his bottom lip down with the muzzle of the gun sjhfsgfjhfgkj. redacted redacted redacted.#anyway. new username to celebrate#he put his entire ahjussy into his performance here. his ahjussiussy. his ahjussussy. you get it.#mutuals/followers from my old asian drama blog remember when train to busan came out in 2016 and for one and a half months#and i slipped back into my obsession and i was just a gong yoo shrine? ;_____;#i'm on the brink of regressing.......... help.....#also pardon the quality realised only after exporting that my grain was too strong -.-;#gun tw#blood tw#gong yoo#squid game#squid game spoilers#squidgameedit#netflixedit#tvedit#kdramaedit#uservik#chewieblog#userbbelcher#userisaiah#it's been a while i forgot what other tags there are…#long post#you know what.#gay#i cannot read salesman/gihun fic because i dislike ljj with a burning passion though.....
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"Oh, how I love white Christmas (❁´◡`❁)" I say, full of delusion. Sweating my ass off in a country that doesn't even snow
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv fanart#sdv harvey#harvey stardew valley#stardew valley harvey#sdv shane#stardew valley shane#shane stardew valley#sdv elliott#stardew valley elliott#elliott stardew valley#sdv jas#jas stardew valley#stardew valley jas#sdv sam#stardew valley sam#sam stardew valley#sdv sebastian#sebastian stardew valley#stardew valley sebastian#sdv abigail#abigail stardew valley#stardew valley abigail#my art#hmmmm#I drew this to fight off the pesky worm in my brain that got me feeling self-critical about my art lately#Like there's always something that looks off...but I also don't know what it is let alone how to fix it 😰#Whatever#hopefully it's just the seasonal stress talking and I'll come to like it after a few months lmao
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they deserve only smiles and happiness!!!!!!!!
#my art#madoka magica#fanart#puella magi madoka magica#pmmm#madoka#homura#madoka kaname#homura akemi#mahou shoujo#magical girl#wlw#lineless#lineless art#emily loves cookies#madohomu#HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!#oh AND pose inspired off some couple poses by tiktok user __doodles_I_guess__!!!!!!!!!
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What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.
Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).
The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.
Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.
Rook is a secondary character in their own story.
#Veilguard critical#I’m sure this has been talked to death in this tag#but I walked away from this game for a few months before deciding to give it another chance and now I can’t stop thinking about this#it slaps you in the face in every cutscene#this game was written to show off THEIR cool OCs. Not yours#dragon age
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HOLY SHIT I FOUND THE JERMA FUCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY CLIP I KNEW I WASNT CRAZY
#IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR FUCKING MONTHS HOLY SHIT#sassy speaks#jerma#turning off reblogs i'm scared. why are you all here.
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I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.
I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.
“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”
“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.
But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.
They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.
That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.
A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”
I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.
“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.
Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.
At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.
Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.
“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.
“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”
Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.
#ramblies#autism#as an afab kid I didn’t get diagnosed but given my poor social skills and general vibes it’s astonishing I wasn’t#I didn’t learn to implement social masking until way later#also those warts too months to get rid of cause they were too big to burn off#they had to be scraped down slowly after baths#vomiting
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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Lyctor? I hardly know her!
I painted Jod and his duplicitous sluts in the style of Byzantine art!! I believe we are approaching my annual reread of the series... ✨⚔️💀⚔️✨
Closeups and print link under the cut!
Prints are 10% off for the New Year!
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#ianthe tridentarius#john gaius#mercymorn the first#augustine the first#gideon the first#cytherea the first#emperor john gaius#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#alecto the ninth#floweroflaurelin art#the locked tomb art#the locked tomb fanart#tlt fanart#tlt#htn#htn fanart#I actually finished this months and months ago and forgot to post it 😅#I popped off though I’m excited to finally share!
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Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you
#art#comic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#infinite the jackal#sonic fanart#sonic#sonic forces#My funny BTS on this comic is Shadow's initial response was 'sounds like cope but okay' but I wanted something less internet-pilled LOL#I've drawn more Sonic Forces fanart than I intended but it is EXCLUSIVELY because I think Infinite is SO funny#I'm gonna shove him in a locker#Bro lost a fight once and it shattered his self esteem#He's been practicing his evil laugh for months and when he finally gets his chance Shadow hits him with the 'I don't know you'#Also since this is taking off I want to clarify: I am a hater in the silly sense. I understand why Infinite has fans#The bones of a good character are there it’s just the writing of this game failed him So Bad#Forces is my least fave Sonic game but I can’t stop thinking about it because of its missed potential#Forces tries to make a lot of very serious plot points but the impact is just not there. It becomes unintentionally funny as a result
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shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set
#edit i remembered this incorrectly#i confused robert de niro with al pacino he was actually what tipped my dad off#i'll be honest i've never seen the godfather? the only mafia movies i've watched are goodfellas and 1996 lesbian masterpiece bound#so i'm not really familiar with the genre lol#EDIT AGAIN IF ANYONE CARES: I HAVE SEEN GODFATHER PART I AND II NOW. I KNOW HOW WRONG I WAS. WHY DID THIS GO UP 500 NOTES IT'S BEEN MONTHS#goncharov#goncharov 1973#eddie genius posting
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From my college days, painting based on Norman Rockwell’s “Rosie the Riveter”
#i’ve been hesitating on posting this one for months#but frump & ashe have been howling over it#so i’m finally dropping it here RAH#off the hook#marina ida#splatoon#splatoon fanart#my art
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