#them growing old together and making a good life for themselves thats so hot

[crispyanonart]

This time I'm bringing you game developer Sebastian and producer Sam, both in their fifties, because I can't tame my love for greying men [more abt them]

[silkgonerough]

Astro Observation/Rants #3 (includes moral support for ppl with harsh aspects between their big 3)

🍰UNDERRATED ASPECT COMBO: Mercury sextile venus + mars when I tell you the amount of crazy situations I’ve talked my way out of and the amount of free things I’ve talked my way into is simply ridiculous.. The mixture of both I think gives someone a rlly nice and sweet way of talking but with a certain tact and persuasion with how their saying it if that makes sense? Which equals a real charmer in words but also someone very skilled in how to get what they want through what their saying. If you have this as well start using it to your advantage trust me it works!!!

☹️Does anyone else who has Pluto or Saturn on or aspecting the ascendant in a harsh aspect have an intense self awareness that kind of keeps them from doing certain things bc it gets to much be too much or you get too paranoid over what others will think of you?

😪Being a Sagittarius but with Saturn as my dominant/elevated planet is really not what I signed up for... I thought I was getting my fun carefree casual storyline but Saturn said it’s the struggle for me. RIP to young me who only looked at cookbook astrology and rlly thought I was doing something...

🙃Ppl who have their sun or ascendant squaring your own ascendant usually have habits or just certain things they do that tend to annoy you or make you judgemental in how they present themselves to the world and others around them. My virgo rising squares my moms sagittarius sun and I can’t take her anywhere 😕

🥵Venus square mars is so hot yet such a disaster in synastry😭 like maybe it’s because I attract relationships that tend to be as messy as something out of a Netflix original but I’m always so attracted to guys who’s venus’ square my mars... and then they open their mouths😪

📚If you know someone with mercury in an aspect to saturn compliment their intellect, writting skills or just knowledge in general!! Ppl with this aspect tend to feel insecure with being considered “smart” even if they really are! Most ppl I’ve met are able to articulate their thoughts rlly well and are like walking dictionaries almost? They way they talk when explaining definitions or concepts is also lowkey hot🥵maybe that’s just my Virgo rising talking tho...

💖Sun in any aspect to venus but especially the conjunct/trine as an aspect between two people is the official hype man aspect!! The venus person hypes the hell out of the sun person and vice versa!! Probs the loyal fan who’s always in your comment section😘I love this aspect sm tho you just love the entire being of the other person! one of my fave celebrities has her venus conjunct my sun and I am deeply in love with her🤪

😩WHEN WILL THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME ANYTHING OTHER THEN A DAMN PISCES ARIES OR LIBRA MAN ITS GETTING OLD give me my Scorpio or Capricorn man😭🙏 (except dont bc all of hell will break loose and it’ll be me invigoratingly opening the gates)

🌗If you have your sun in a harsh aspect to your moon (square or opposite) your childhood was probably not the most fun in the home life and you probably understood the harsh reality of marriage or just unhealthy relationships in general from the parents :/ the whole sun/moon inner conflict was also probs pretty prevalent and caused social issues with peers at school.. honestly such a sad aspect to have as a child bc everything’s so hard and you don’t understand why bc you don’t rlly understand yourself yet :( but once you grow into it and figure out how to balance your emotions/moon to your overall personality/sun one can become the strength where the other is weak and it creates a sort of wondrous enigma of a person and ppl can become rlly entranced in your personality! It’s called layers bitch😜

🤫Scorpio/Pluto in the 3rd house (I have both🤗) could be someone who has a lot of secretive hobbies or interests that they don’t share with a lot of ppl but may have a secret social media accounts for them👀 not the type to tell ppl if they like someone but the ppl who are close to them will catch on or honestly figure out just by asking them straight up bc once confronted we get all embarrassed and you can see it on our faces super easily! We love our mysteries, plot twist or literally anything that requires digging deeper or making theories when reading or watching something. No surface level shit here🙅‍♀️

💸Mars in 2nd house may have a shopping addiction or may be bad at saving money. They usually binge shop and are the types that went to a grocery store for more untensils and came back with a waffle maker and a bunch of baking supplies😅 stingy if you eat their food without permission... the type to freak out if they left their fave shirt at their friends house after a sleepover lol, probs has a thing for food and sex together or sex in a really luxurious place with candles and rose petals.. it’s go big or I’m going tf home with them. Have furniture in ur home their not fucking in a god damn roller rink🤣

🌟People with Mercury in Aquarius/aspecting Uranus seem to really like talking about scientific theories or futuristic concepts!! All the ones I’ve known have had really grand ideas and seem to like anything related to the mystical but also seemingly holds a lot of innovative undertones! One of my friends who has Mercury in Aquarius aspecting Neptune/Uranus has a thing for the Disney short films which honestly is like a mix of neptune and uranus in its art forms! I’ve always thought it was cute how eager she is to show me them☺️

🌊From what I’ve observed an aspect that can make someone kind of bad at confrontation or like vocalizing their feelings until it’s too late and their bursting like a freaking geyser is Pisces mars. It doesn’t rlly take a lot to have them feeling some sort of way either with or without a valid reason (this is just an observation from the ones I’ve seen I don’t want to generalize!!) but the way they get angry is like a baby’s tempter tantrum and because I’m a Sagittarius I can always see thru the bullshit and I’m like is anyone else seeing this? I think overall besides Scorpio having a water mars signs is exceptionally hard so I cut them some slack but at what cost😫

🤤Mars conjunct Jupiter people are yummy. The men and women both are so hot and the men are always exuding big dick energy and usually thats what their giving👀

🌎All my big 3 create harsh aspects to one another (sun square moon, moon opposite ascendant, ascendant square sun) I honestly don’t know how I made it this far without literally exploding from tension but to anyone with these I guess my advice would be to refrain from taking things too personally bc it’s usually never that serious we’re just already a bit insecure in ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world! Your perception of how others view you vs how they actually do are usually very different in a good way but we tend to self sabotage ourselves into acting the way we think others want us to! I think having so many conflictive yet different sides of yourself creates a very influential character. It’s kind of like living in many completely different places throughout your life. The change is always hard and you don’t always feel secure but your experience and perception on things are really unique and you can offer other ppl a whole new perspective on who they are bc you yourself are always looking through the world through conflicting yet contrasting lenses.

[random-fandom1]

Lights were blaring, music blasting, sweaty bodies grinding against eachother. A hand touches Peter waist, lips attach themselves to his neck. A man, his name is James? What a strange name. A hot name. A perfect name for such a hot man. Moans escape him. Lips continue to assault his neck, a hand pulls him towards the exit

"Is this okay?"

That voice. If you could fall in love with voices, Peter would be walking down the aisle.

"yes"

-

8 years later

“Olly James Parker! Hurry up, you don't want to be late for your aunts! You know what MJ did last time.” Peter shudders remembering about how MJ purposely put sand in his salad the last time they were late. The quick patter of soft feet can be heard from the landing upstairs and suddenly a small boy dressed in overalls appears at the top of the stairs, a mop of brown curls covering his left eye.

"Where are we going daddy? Are we going to that fancy place Auntie Shuri took us last week? I didn't like that place, the big red things had strange eyes and the plates. They were, they were too big," The boy made huge over the top circles with his arms. Peter had to agree though, the plates were bloody huge, "I like the cafe Auntie MJ takes us too. I like Kath. She's nice. The pink doughnuts are my favourite" Peter listened to his son rant on about how pink doughnuts are his favourite from Cafe Asgard for about 5 minutes before speaking up. 

"There's no need to worry babe, Auntie MJ is picking the place I think. Shuri and MJ had bet on who stole more of the others clothes, turns out it was Shuri and then Shuri, being the competitive bitch she is decided to try and seduce -" Realising he was wandering off appropriate topics for a 7 year old, and that he'd slipped up twice in that story. He looks down to realise he's probably safe as the boy is still going on about how the sprinkles are the right amount of hard. "Go get your shoes on bud"

"Ok" and with that Olly ran down the hall, curls bouncing with every step. 

Peter couldn't help but admire his son. About how he was an exact copy of him, from the hair to the freckles scattered across his body. Olly carried his and his dad's intelligence and needed to figure out how stuff works. He was a total clone. Well, almost. He had his eyes. Those beautiful steel blue eyes, the ones that looked at him with so much passion that night. Peter cried when Olly opened his eyes for the first time, realising that he's going to have to be reminded of the man he fell in love with, the man who left him alone and pregnant in his bed, everyday for the rest of his life. He's going to be reminded of James.

Peter is pulled out of his thoughts by a small hand tugging his jacket. 

"Come on daddy, I hear a horn honking outside. I don't want Aunties MJ & Shuri to be mad at me" Olly says, looking at his father with huge eyes, genuinely scared of angering his impatient aunts. Resisting the urge to coo, He crouches down in front of his son and wraps him in a hug.

"Oh buddy, they'd never be mad at you...me though, that's a different story. So on that note, chop chop, I'm quite fond of my head" Peter stands up from his crouched position, takes Olly's hand and walks out the front door

-

"-and the dinosaur was big and green with spik-" 

"Ok Olls, I think that's enough of that story. Why don't we head inside" Peter said, holding a tight smile on his face. He unbuckled Olly and headed inside, followed closely by MJ and Shuri. MJ instantly headed towards their usual table beside the window while Shuri made her way into the queue where she instantly started talking to a brown haired man. 'Must be a friend from work' Peter thought. He crouched down to Olly’s level, "Why don't you go get a table with Auntie MJ and Auntie Shuri and I will order the food? You want a pink doughnut and a strawberry and banana milkshake, right?" Olly nodded and ran off towards MJ.

Peter took a moment to think about how he got to this very moment, about how he ended up having Olly. He thought back to the morning after. He woke up alone. James just slept with him, got up early in the morning and left without a word. Peter had to show himself out of his house. There was no note, no contact number, no nothing. All there was was a growing fetus and Peter who couldn't get the man with steel blue eyes and godlike voice out of his head. It was clear that he wanted nothing to do with Peter so in return, Peter decided that he didn't need him. That he can raise Olly by himself without another person. It helped that he had a big family and money was never an issue, seeing as his dad owns the biggest tech company in the world and his pops is a captain in the army. Sure he thought about going back to the flat, seeing if James felt the same way about him as he did. He wondered if Bucky would raise Olly with him, if they could be a family. He's shaken from his thoughts by his phone binging in his pocket. 

Pulling it out of his pocket, he sees a message from his pops. 

‘hey pete, do you know how to activate that protocol you used to wake us up with? Monster ear or something? dads fell asleep in his locked lab again. thanks, have a good day petey. love you x’ 

Peter lets out a chuckle when he reads the message. Trust his dad to forget to unlock the lab door. He starts to make his way over to where Shuri is holding their place in the line, typing back a reply to his pops. 

“-and then glenn tried to make me take out her copies, like who does she think i am - oh, Pete there you are. I thought you got lost on your way over. Here meet my boss, Bucky, he knows all about yo - get off your phone it's rude” Shuri says, getting annoyed by his ignorance. 

“Yeah, yeah. My pops is asking about commands again. I swear he never stops” he says, putting his phone into his back pocket and looking at Shuri. Peter was yet to look at the man in front of him, too busy giving Shuri a death glare.

“It's a pleasure to meet you Peter, Shuris told me a lot about you. She tells me almost daily about your latest mix up, I must say you have a lot.”

Peter freezes

Time stops

It's that voice, the voice he fell in love with. That deep and gruff voice with the right amount of softness on the edges. It's like music, the voice of angels.

He slowly turns his head to look at the man in front of him, watches as his eyes widen upon getting a full view of his face, realising washing over him. 

Everything around them become background noise

The only people left in the cosy cafe are them, scrap that actually, the only people in the whole world are them.

They must be zoned out for a while because suddenly Shuris snapping her fingers in between them. Peter's cheeks flush a dark scarlet and he closes his mouth which must have fallen open. 

“Peter, you have no idea how much I - fuck, Ive thought about this moment for so long, and I - god, I dont know what to say” Peters eyes snap back up to meet those eyes, those pools of steel blue. They haven't left his mind for years, haunted him around any corner he tried to turn. 

Thats when he realised, he was in love with him. He loved James, he hasn't seen him for years, met him once before that, but fuck, he loved him. 

“I-uh - I…”

“Daddy, whos this? His eyes look like mine. Isn’t that funny?” Olly comes over and stands next to his father, looking up at, well, his other father. Bucky looks down at Olly, then back up to Peter, then back down to Olly. You can practically see the gears turning in his head, probably trying to figure out who this is, probably piecing it together slowly. Peter gulps and then looks down at Olly.

“Olly, I told you to stay with Auntie MJ. You know what happened last ti -” Peters cut off for what feels like the 50th time today. 

“How old are you kid?” His voice is shaking 

“Don’t answer that”

“Whos your other daddy?”

“Don't answer that either, go back to Aun-”

“Answer me, how old are you kid?”

Olly is slightly hiding behind Shuris leg, not quite sure what to do. 

“You can’t just go around asking people you've slept with and then left alone to clean up the pieces with not even a contact number or note or anything’s kids how old they are, what is wrong with you?!”

Something flashes across Buckys face, regret and hurt, but they quickly go back to rage. Steel blue eyes turning into a stormy grey, like a storm at sea.

“I can if they may be my child!”

“That doesn't make it right!”

“For god's sake, stop being so difficult-”

“I’m being difficult? Do you hear yours-”

“I do funnily enough -”

They’re interrupted by a small voice

“Im almost eight…”

Both they’re heads snap round, looking at the source of the voice. There they see Olly holding up 8 fingers. Tears well up in James’ eyes, the final piece clicking into the jigsaw

“Hes my son..” Its barely above a whisper. Peter lets out a defeated sigh

“Yeah, he's your son” 

Slowly James crouches down to Olly's level. Olly looks him over, analyses him as if he's trying to figure out what's inside this man. It's scary that Bucky has the exact same look on his face. Eyebrows furrowed, steel eyes cloudy. It makes Peter's heart let out small flutters.

“Hey there kiddo, Im, well im your papa.” Olly takes a second to process what's just been said before running into his papas arms. Tears are streaming down his face. Both their faces. Scrap that, tears are running down most of the people in the cafe’s faces. 

“I've always wanted a papa, daddy always used to say that you went on a mission to space and that its taking a while. But he always said you’ll be back.” 

“Did he now?” Bucky looks into his eyes and all is said in that look. 

He was going to do whatever it takes to be a part of this family, to be with the man he loves and their son.

And Peter wouldn't have it any other way.

“Whats a bitch papa?”

Shuri cackles, an old lady gasps and Bucky's eyes widen comically

fuck.

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

[novannna]

You Were the Hands That Held Me

Danissa soulmate au.  everyone has a soul mate, and any marking that appears on their skin, appears on yours.  narcissa’s pov.  Kinda angsty, but also fluffy.  

tw: self harm, and mentions of abuse kinda

wc: 2363

Narcissa stared at her arm in awe.  This was the first time her soulmate had ever drawn something on her skin.  She had felt the same cuts and bruises her soulmate had received, just like everyone else, but this was the first time her soulmate had deliberately marked her own skin.

Messy butterflies with uneven wings, and twisted antennas marched down Narcissa’s forearm.  

“Oh,” she whispered.  “Cool.”  She grabbed the nearest marked, and held it poised above the other arm, ready to reply, but thought better of it.  

She shouldn’t force her soulmate to stop their art for Narcissa.  She dropped the marker, and kept watching the thick lines as they covered her entire arm.  

That night she washed it all away in scalding hot water before her grandfather noticed.  He wouldn’t approve of Narcissa communicating with her soulmate.  

He hated the idea of How there was one person in the world, waiting just for you.  

His soulmate had died years ago, leaving him heartbroken and angry, bitter to the world.   

If Narcissa wasn’t careful, he might take the anger out on her.    

Narcissa could take it, but she didn’t want to hurt her soulmate too.  Narcissa would feel awful.  

So she tried to ignore the small flowers and butterflies her soulmate drew constantly.  Narcissa tried her very best.  

---

Years later, Narcissa wrote to her soulmate for the first time.  It was in the middle of the night, when Narcissa had felt a searing pain across her arm that looked like a red slit across her pale skin.  

Her soulmate was in trouble.  She couldn’t just stand by now. Narcissa had to do something.  

Grabbing a tissue to staunch the bleeding, Narcissa scrawled across her hand in thick ink. 

STOP

I can’t , her soulmate replied. 

Please, just hear me out, Narcissa wrote, hoping she could do enough.  Hoping she could convince the person who had drawn butterflies everywhere on their body, that maybe the world really did want them. 

please, just stay out of this

I can’t. This is my body too.  And even though I’ve never met you, you're my soulmate and I care about you. 

Fine. I’ll listen. Her soulmate's handwriting was a little shaky, but very neat, with tall, loopy letters.  

I’m guessing you’ve been having a hard time with life recently, Narcissa started. 

I guess

Do you want to be here?  Narcissa asked bluntly

There was a long pause.  I don’t know, her soulmate finally responded.  I love Earth, but the people…. I can’t stand the people. All they do is bring hate and hurt to me

I get that.  But the people don’t matter. You do.  Danna wrote desperately. 

No I don’t. I’ve never done a single good thing in my life

You have!  You’ve made me smile!  You’ve made me laugh!  

Her soulmate replied, When?  This is the first time I’ve ever talked to you

When we were younger, you used to constantly doodle little flowers and butterflies all across our bodies. I loved to watch you draw them, watch the blocky little lines appear across my body.   Danna smiled as she recalled the delicate insects she wore across her body daily. 

I thought you hated those. That’s why I stopped

No, of course not!

Then why did you erase them?

Narcissa sighed. She thought for a second, then wrote, my grandfather. He hates soulmates. If he knew I was communicating with mine, I’m afraid he would hurt me.  And doing that would hurt you. 

But… that means you could get in trouble right now!

No. I won’t, I’m fine. You are more important.  Tell me, what made you want to hurt yourself today?

I guess I’m just tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being treated like a child. I want to leave my house, but I can’t. I can’t live on my own. 

Thats okay, you shouldn’t be ignored.  You should be your own person, and if your parents cant see that, they’re idiots!!

Narcissa capped the pen, and tried to wrap her blanket around her arm, the blood slowly soaked through the fabric, staining the blanket a bright red.  How would she explain that to her grandfather?  It didn’t matter right now though.  Right now, she had to make sure her soulmate was okay.  That was her one and only goal.  Nothing else mattered.  Narcissa had the opportunity to maybe save a life right now.  That’s what she had to do.  

They aren’t.  I’m the one who’s screwing up, her soulmate replied.  I cant ever get anything right.  Im just a big mistake that shouldn't even exist.  The worlds probably better without me

THATS NOT FUCKING TRUE!  Narcissa scrawled as quickly as she could.  I dont believe it.  Not for a second.  Just by being here, you’ve made the world a better place.  Everyday, I wake up and check my body for some indicator that you’re here.  I can’t help but think about the fact that there is someone out there meant for me.  And I’m meant for someone.  

I guess…

Narcissa sighed heavily.  She had to go to bed before her grandfather woke and saw her light on.  

Are you okay?  She wrote.  Are you in any danger?  If you are, im here.  For both of us

A minute passed before the reply came.  I dont think so.  I think im better.  But… if i feel bad again, can i talk to u?  This actually really helped me.  Thank you

Narcissa smiled.  Of course!!!  Just, could u write somewhere less obvious?

Sure.  I understand.

Narcissa smiled gratefully.  How ‘bout our ankles?  That’s less obvious and easy for me to hide

She felt pressure on her right foot, and slid it out from beneath her blanket.  A smile, and little butterfly doodle greeted her eyes.  

Good night, soulmate, Narcissa wrote

Good night.  Sleep tight.  And… thank you.

Narcissa smiled.  She slid out of bed, and held her arm close to her chest while creeping to the bathroom.  Once inside, she scrubbed all of the ink off her skin, and bandaged the red slit shut.  

Narcissa and her soulmate were okay.  That was all that mattered.  Everything was alright.  At least for now.  But now was the only thing Narcissa could bear to think about.  

---

After that one night, Narcissa’s soulmate never hurt themselves like that again.  But that didn’t mean they weren’t hurting.   Narcissa could tell they were hurting themselves in other ways.  

She tried to help.  She wrote reminders every few hours, telling her soulmate to eat, and drink water.  She wrote encouraging messages, and doodled across their skin.  

But still, Narcissa would feel her stomach growl with hunger, and her tongue beg for more water.  She felt her eyes grow heavy even though she had slept almost 10 hours the night before.  Her soulmate just didn’t care, and there was nothing Narcissa could do. 

They would talk to each other constantly, ranting about their day, or commenting about something they saw.  Narcissa grew much closer to the person she had never even seen the face of. Closer to them then anyone else she had ever known.  

Even her grandfather. 

Narcissa had a very strained relationship with her grandfather.  She knew deep down he loved her, but he had a hard time showing it.  He was caught in a life of crime, and there was no way out.  

He had been an arms dealer for years, selling guns and other weapons on the black market.  He made a lot of money, but not a lot of friends.  He was a bitter old man, who took all of his anger out on Narcissa.  He had never hit her, but his words were hard enough. 

Narcissa knew she was being abused, and belittled, and manipulated, but she always ended up excusing his actions. Or even worse, sometimes she would place the blame on herself.  She knew she was in a bad situation, but it was one she was stuck in. 

Narcissa talked about him lots with her soulmate.  It turned out, they had a similar situation with their parents.  

Mistreated, abused, bullied, shamed. 

The two escaped into their skin, engrossed with each other.  They held each other right through the pain and the tears.  Though at times, both of them desperately wanted to, they held strong and never hurried themselves for fear of hurting the other. 

---

One day, the straw finally snapped for Narcissa. She was 17 now, and old enough to live her own life. Old enough to understand what her grandfather gave her wasn’t love, it was trauma.  

After he yelled at her for an hour straight because she put a book in the wrong bookshelf, Narcissa decided she had taken enough. 

Can we go?  She desperately scrawled across her ankle. Can we escape these sorry excuses for lives?

Her soulmate wrote back a few minutes later. What do you mean?

We’re old enough to live on our own. Why are we forcing ourselves to live with these people who treat us so terribly. Why don’t we just run away together?

Ok. The reply shocked Narcissa. She had been expecting them to try and convince her otherwise, make her see the absurdity. Not agree.  But Narcissa was glad they agreed. They both deserved a chance to start over. To make a life for themselves, and do it right. 

You will?

With you?  Of course I will silly. I’ve been waiting years for me to ask

When?   When can we leave?

Whenever your ready

A week, Narcissa declared, I’ll meet you in a week at Gatlon City, at the train station

Ok.   I’ll be there, I promise, her soulmate wrote. 

Me too. Narcissa grinned. She was finally escaping. Finally starting fresh. Finally leaving her grandfather to be with someone who truly cared.  Narcissa couldn’t wait.

---

Narcissa creaked the door open, cringing as the hinges squealed loudly. 

“Just where do you think you’re going?”  Her grandfather slurred from the couch. 

Shitshitshitshit, Narcissa though. She was caught.  She was never going to escape her life.

“I told you earlier this week I’m going to a friends house tonight,” Narcissa said lightly, trying to mask her terror. 

“Stop lying!”  He screamed.  “I know that’s not true, you don’t have any friends.”

Narcissa cringed.  

She breathed in deeply.  She was already leaving forever, there was no point in lying anymore.  

“Fine  I’m leaving.  For good.”  She braced herself for the rage. 

Instead, he laughed.  “You?  You're leaving?”  He scoffed.  “You would never.  You’re too scared and dependent on me.”

Narcissa drew herself up.  “No.  You’re wrong.  I’m leaving, to find my soulmate.  We’re making our own life.  Together.”

He gaped at her.  “You can’t!  You can’t go to your soulmate,” he spat.  “You’ll live a terrible life.  You’ll be tied down forever.”

Narcissa shook her head.  “No.  I won’t.  I’ll live the best life I can.  Because I’ll be happy.  I won’t live in fear anymore.  I’m sorry you weren’t meant for your soulmate, but it’s different for me.  I know them.  We are meant for each other.  I wouldn’t expect you to understand.  All you know is hate.”

“So you’re really going?”  Her grandfather’s lip curled up.  

Narrcissa nodded.  “I am.  I’m making my own life, as far away from here as possible.”

“Then go!”  He snarled.  “I don’t want you in my house if you won’t see a reason.  Go.”  He picked a book sitting next to him, and hurled it at Narcissa’s head.  

She ducked, her hair ruffling by the wind.  

She turned to him, tears in her eyes.  “Goodbye grandfather.  I’m sorry.”  She threw open the door, and fled into the night.

---

Narcissa’s heart thudded in her ears.  This was it.  This was the day she was going to meet her soulmate.  She knew she should be realistic, but Narcissa couldn’t help imagining the meeting like something out of the sappy romance novels she liked to read.  

She expected the dreary clouds to disappear, and the sun to shine out on top of them.  

She expected to know exactly who was her other half

She expected to run up, into their arms, and kiss them like she had wanted to be kissed her entire life.  

But Narcissa knew how unlikely it was.  But, a girl could hope, couldn’t she?  

She inhaled deeply.  Uncapping the pen with her teeth, she scrawled on her palm, I’m here  

Me too, her soulmate wrote back.  The familiar loopy red marks eased Narcissa.  She knew this person.  This was her soulmate.  Everything was going to be okay.  It would all be okay.  

Her eyes locked onto a girl standing near a bench, her head bent over her hand, a pen tucked behind her ear.  

Somehow, Narcissa knew.  She knew this was the person she had been searching for her whole life.  She knew that the girl was her soulmate.  

Summoning every miniscule scrap of courage Narcissa could find, she approached the girl.  

She tapped her shoulder.  “Hi,” Narcissa breathed, heart pounding.  “I’m Narcissa.  I think I’m your-”

She was interrupted by the girl throwing her arms around her tightly.  

“I’ve waited so long to meet you,” Narcissa’s soulmate said roughly, her voice thick with tears.  “I’m Danna.”  

Narcissa laughed.  She realized she was crying.  “Me too.”

“I feel like I already know everything about you,” Danna laughed.  She swiped her eyes.  

Narcissa nodded.  “I know we’re soulmates, but I want you to know I understand if you don’t want me,” she said.  “I get it- not all soulmates are really soulmates.”

She was cut off by Danna pressing her lips to hers.  “I want you,” Danna breathed.  “You're the one who I’ve trusted with every secret I’ve ever held.  You’re the one who helped me when no one else could.  You’re the one who took care of me.”  Danna held their hands up, exposing the thick identical scars that spread across their wrists.  “You are the only other person in the world who understood, and actually helped me.  You were the hands that held me.”  Danna reached her hand to Narcissa’s face, wiping away her tears.  “I want you, and no one else.”

“Me too,” Narcissa whispered.  “Me too.”

Tag list: @novissa @thepurpledragon4444  @phobidawg @janisarkisian  @rvbell @lavenderbloo @redassassin  (let me know if you want to be added/taken off!!!)

[mousehole5000]

tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles

wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad

It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies

“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING

obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK

also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn

anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:

jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel

Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point

okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day

i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?

im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.

i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk

also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings

okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.

also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it

Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe

Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT

okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme

Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf

also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol

this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse

[jamlally]

Hot Chocolate

This was written for the 25 days of Christmas Challenge that is hosted by  @panicfob .  The Day 3 Challenge prompt was Hot Chocolate

Warnings: Fluff 

Pairing:  OFC x Tony Stark (platonic), OFC x Bucky Barnes (platonic)

Summary: Belle Porter is finding her feet but another remember of the team is having a hard time.  Perhaps she can help 

Since Tony had staged his intervention with Belle she was starting to feel more a part of the team,  It was hard for Belle some days to push through the discomfort that she felt when there was a long silence or when she didn’t know how to read the social queues of the others.  Tony would laugh it off, Steve and Bucky would ignore her faux pas but Natasha and the others would explain later the mistake and how to avoid it.

The small gifts that she had bought for each member of the team sat carefully wrapped underneath the tree she had put up in her room.  Wanda had helped her decorate it while she talked about Christmases with her brother.  She had made an effort to share a meal with the others once a week and join in any group activities she could. 

Things had been quiet for the last couple of days as the majority of the team had been out on various recon missions, but now they were back and the usual chaos ensued .  The only exception was Bucky, he was physically back but mentally it seemed to be taking a little longer for hm to dial back in.  He was friendly to everyone but seemed to be spending more time on his own, and he would save his physical training until everyone else was done for the night.

Belle enjoyed sitting quietly with Bucky.  He never felt the need to fill the science or to make polite chit chat, but he was so withdrawn that she started to worry.

Steve had told her not to worry - it was just the fact that some aspects of the base had reminded him of his time in Hydra and it was taking him time to process it. The rest of the team just accepted that this was normal ad would squeeze his shoulder on the way past, but no one seemed to want to help him through it 

Belle sat in her room her tablet serving as a holo screen thanks to F.R.I.D.A.Y and the Stark tech that she had access to.  She had looked over the data and had seen the strange pods so she went back into the public records on Bucky himself.  There wasn’t much about his time with Hydra but there were images of the cryo chamber from Wakanda and she started to put things together in her head.  Bucky was likely having flashbacks from seeing the chamber and the cold weather and the blanket of snow was probably acting as a trigger.

A little more research and she was done for the the night. Closing down the apps she headed to bed her plan established.

When Bucky Barnes walked into the Rec room he was hoping to get a hot cup of coffee and then head back to his own room. Seeing the Cryo chamber had him hearing the screams of the people that he had killed and the cold weather made what was left of his shoulder ache.  He knew that the Soldat was gone, a part of his past exorcised by Shuri, but the guilt of his actions, would live with him forever.

The others were giving him his space and letting hm work through everything, but the guilt just kept eating away in his gut.  It took him most of the day to want to eat and the heavy feeling it left behind made him sluggish, but he would push his body in the gym at night, hoping that exhausting himself would let him sleep.  It didn’t help but it gave hime something to do.

His eyes were firmly fixed to the ground as he walked in, it was later in the day - closer to lunch than breakfast so there was a good chance that the others would be off doing something and he would get peace before he had to  fix the smile on his face.

if he had been looking where he was gong, and if he had not been stuck in his own head he would have had some idea as to what was waiting for him, as it was Belle was glad for it because he was in the room before he had a chance to even think of avoiding her 

The first thing that clued him into the fact that things were not as planned was the soft music that greeted him.  The smooth tones of Frank Sinatra flowed over him, accompanied by the soft crackle and click that let him know it was a vinyl record playing. He slowly looked up expecting to see Steve or maybe Nat waiting for him but was surprised to Belle sitting at the table waiting for him with an expectant grin

“Hey Bucky” Her eyes were a little wide and her fingers twitched telling him that she was nervous

“Doll” he gave her as close to a real smile as he could.  He was always conscious of the fact that Belle still hadn’t found her feet on a personal level and he always worried that he would make her feel unwelcome in some way with his reticence to talk.  He had lots of ideas it was just that he couldn’t always find the words to express them

Belle returned his smile as she stood and moved to pull out a chair that would allow him to sit with his back to the wall and keep an eye on the large glass widows and the door. 

“Come and grab a seat and let me bring you a drink”

“Um sure” he spoke quietly as he moved to sit “I um, wasn’t expecting anyone to be here”

“Yeah I figured” Belle called back fro the kitchen.  I have a confession - I asked FRIDAY to let me know when it looked like you would head this way.  I wanted to give you a surprise.  I figured that the cold, after the mission might be difficult for you” Her voice grew louder as she walked back to him mug in hand

“I know that what you went through, it can’t be erased but I hoped that perhaps some memories of better times would help you push the bad ones back a bit”

She set the mug in front of him and stepped back. A rich warm, slightly spiced scent reached his nose and looking at the cup he saw rich dark hot cocoa.

“I know that you usually have coffee but I was doing  a bit of research and it said that chocolate was rationed when you were growing up. I know you don’t like to treat yourself but I'm not sure if you’ve taken the time to enjoy a hot cocoa but I find that it helps keep the cold out

Bucky raised an eyebrow but wrapped both hands around the mug, taking a sip before letting out a little moan of pleasure as the rich hot cocoa coated his mouth. 

Belle sat at the far end of the table giving him his space and letting him enjoy the drink and his thoughts.  It took until the end of the mug but he looked a little more relaxed.

“Would you like some more I made a big pot?” Belle questioned. She was back to looking nervous he noted 

“Sure, thanks”

“No problem, I -I know what it’s like to get lost in your own head and sometimes you need to just hang out and sometimes you need someone to show you a path out”

“Like what Tony did?”

Belle nodded “ Yeah like Tony did” he wondered if she knew she smiled very softly when she said Tony’s name.  He didn’t want to push her so he changed the topic

“So what else did your research tell you ?”

“Well it said movies were popular, so I picked a Christmas one if you want to watch it while you drink. I don’t know if you saw it before everything.  Its called “It;s a Wonderful Life”

“I’ve heard of It - it’s an old movie right ?”

“Yeah it was released in 1945”

“Sure I’ll give it a go, with more cocoa  though”

Belle’s face lit up and she actually clapped her hands in joy before scurrying back to pick up his mug and gesture over to the sofas. 

Cosying down in the sofa for the first time since he had gotten back to the compound Bucky felt some kind of peace settle over him.  Belle came over with a tray full of mugs resting them on the ottoman and Bucky raised an eyebrow

“The cocoa is good but I’m not sure that I can drink that much”

“Well that’s good news Pal because it smells awesome and I was hoping to snag a mug”

Glancing round Bucky saw Steve and the other members of the team heading though.  He could feel himself tensing. He had been enjoying himself with Belle, but having to put on a front for the others wasn’t something he was looking to do.

“Of course you can I made plenty for everyone, but this is Bucky’s day and were watching Christmas movies so if you want to join us you need to give us peace to watch the movie”

Bucky blinked in surprise.  Belle  never usually spoke to the others that way.  Hell sometimes she still didn’t seem confident to speak at all, but here she was  sticking up for him.

“Right Bucky?”

>Her voice drew him back “Thats right Doll”

The others nodded grabbing drinks and and finding a seat, while Belle busied herself dimming lights and setting up treats and the movie.  Tony was the last to enter, as usual.  Bucky shook his head and wondered whether the man was ever capable of not making an entrance and being the centre of attention. 

Pausing with his cup to his mouth he looked over at the man who had, over time welcomed him into this crazy hodge podge of a family.  Bucky had taken his own family from him but Tony gave him his. 

Brown eyes met blue over the top of Nat’s head as she and Tony argued for who got to sit in the large armchair Tony exclaiming that he paid for the damn thing so  surely he should get to sit in it.  Bucky nodded and smiled as the fight pulled the attention of the others away from him, and the movie choice Belle had made and Bucky felt himself start to relax again. 

Steve came to sit with him seemingly excited about the movie. He still hadn’t caught up with all the movies he had missed but to see one from close to his time with his best pal touched him in a way he couldn’t explain.

Thor solved the argument over the arm chair by walking in and taking it for himself a mug already in his hand.

“This is a most delicious  treat Lady Belle, most delicious.  We do not have a drink such as this on Asguard, I must take some with me when I return “  Belle smiled her thanks

“I’ll give you my recipe before you go - then you can enjoy this as part of your winter solstice there too”

While the others settled themselves and fought for what they saw as prime position Belle prepared the last of her surprises for Bucky.  By the time that she came out everyone was settled and ready

“Over here Snowflake” Tony called her over to the seat he had saved to make sure that she would have somewhere.  

Belle smiled gratefully she always felt like and idiot looking for somewhere to sit and Tony could be a lot of fun during the movies with funny comments and witty observations.  Heading over she made sure to walk behind the sofa that Steve and Bucky sat on pausing by the quieter of the two men. 

“I’ve got one last thing to help if that’s ok” She whispered in his ear not wanting to draw to much attention to him

Bucky tilted back his head to see Belle holding out something long and floppy to him.  He looked confused - and had no idea what it was

“May I?”  Belle looked unsure how to go forward as he sat there looking at her so he just nodded his head 

The long floppy thing was draped around his neck and over his shoulder and seconds later a warm smell that reminded him somewhat of his mother made its way to his nose and a blissful heat started to soak into his shoulder and neck.  The heat pulled a soft groan from him as muscles that he didn’t even know where tense started to relax.

“I can warm it up again later if you want.  It’s a rice pack they’re supposed to help muscle aches”

Bucky just blinked, he couldn’t remember the last time that someone had looked out for him in such a comforting way.  Hell the last time might have been his mother.  He opened his mouth to say thanks only to see that Belle was already moving away to the spot Tony had saved for her. The movie started and he was drawn in to the familiar actors and the story line.

Tony sipped at his drink, half an eye on the movie the other on Bucky.  He could see that the other man seemed to be feeling better and all because Belle had thought of ways that would help hm remember more pleasant things. She had explained her idea to him and as much as he had tried to talk her out of it she was determined to go ahead so he agreed to wrangle the rest of the team. He had been prepared to the come through and find her on her own but low and behold, the Tin Man was there and seemed quite happy.  

Leaning over he spoke quietly next to her ear “ You did good Kid.  He looks better. Whats with the heat pack?”

Belle glanced over turning her head to whisper back “He was holding his arm funny and I wondered if the cold made it ache.  I’ve read that can happen to amputees”. 

That wasn’t something that Tony had considered but it made sense. Perhaps there was something that he could do to help - maybe he would put a call in to Shuri.  He rubbed his hand over his chin already rejecting ideas when a small soft hand touched his arm.  Glancing down and back up to Belle he peered over the top of this glasses. 

“Leave if for tonight  let's just all enjoy the movie with him”. Her eyes went back to the screen and his remained on her for a moment before  shaking his head and taking a drink from his own mug.

[coffecatsandbooks]

Supernatural // Hogwarts

Okay so I’ve seriously been thinking about Supernatural characters in Hogwarts? And the concept is so wonderful for me because I can easily see a twelve year old Sammy getting his hands on the Harry Potter books and it just taking him away. Away from all the shit he hates. The hunting. His dad. The gaping hole that he doesn’t talk about that is his mom. School. All of it. Sometimes it just all becomes so much for him, but when he opens that book - it just feels like coming home.

The first movie comes out when he’s fifteen and he begs his older brother Dean to go with him. He’s been begging Dean to read the books for years now, but Dean’s never been much of a reader. After a week of persisting, he finally gives in and off to the movies they go. Sam is in complete awe at the whole movie. It wasn’t like the book exactly, but God it felt good to put a face to the name and see them fight it out for real instead of imagining it. It was cool to imagine it, but the movie brought a certain twang to it. Dean, while he would never admit it, actually thought the movie was pretty cool. He understood why his little brother adored it and after a few weeks of contemplation, he sneaks into Sammy’s bag one day and steals a copy of the first book.

Sam catches him reading one day, but Dean’s so lost in the book, he doesn’t even notice. Sam knows if he’s caught, Dean will put the book down and not open it again, so Sam tip-toes out of the room and smiles in triumph. He knew his brother would like it and he did.

The books were different for Dean. While Sam read it because he wanted to get away and have a home, Dean read it because of the characters. It got him away too, sure, but Dean felt like he related so much to all the characters, it finally made him feel belonged in a place where he felt anything but. He felt like Ron in a way that he was funny and witty, he felt like Harry in a way that he had no parents and yeah Dean had his dad, but he didn’t really have his dad. He felt like Hermione in the way she always underestimated herself. He felt like Draco in the way he hid things and often lashed out at people because of his home life. He, however, didn’t feel like Luna, but he admired her. She was always so out there that she never cared what people thought and she did it in such a graceful and thoughtful way. Dean was too hot headed for all of that, but he wished to be more like her.

Both the brothers were fans to say the least now and when the last book comes out, they do what they’ve always done. Sam buys it and reads it and then Dean sneaks in, steals it, and reads it too. When the last movie comes out, both brothers go together and see it and while both brothers tease each other for crying, it really did feel like the end of an era and that saddened them both, but when they move into the bunker, Sam buys the whole series and places it on the bookshelf and they’re the most read books in the whole library. Worn and old, but both brothers read it when life seems to be getting just too fucking hard. And they even sometimes binge the movies together when they’re both feeling down. Even Castiel joins one evening.

“You both realize that this is fictional – correct?” Cas asks, but both boys shush him, then after a few moments, Sam whispers to him.

“Yes, but they’re so- they’ve gotten us through a lot. Just watch okay?” He smiles.

Cas just nods and after the movies both men turn to their angel friend. Cas is silent for a moment then looks back up at the tv. “That was very entertaining yes.” And smiles widely.

Thats kinda my whole thing on it, but guys JUST THINK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND WHAT HOUSE THEY’D BE SORTED IN.

Sam is a Ravenclaw. Intelligent, witty, learning, and creativity, Sam has it all. His friends and brother are always laughing at some remark he’s already made about one of his friends (but usually his brother) doing something completely ignorant, but it’s all light hearted and not taken seriously of course. He’s always raising his hand in class and everyone’s begging him to tell them the answer to their transfigurations homework as Sam is best in the class. He’s so good in fact, that he makes Professor McGonnagal crack a sly smirk every time he gets a transfiguration down. He draws in his free time and when asked what his drawings are about, he says they’re normally of him and his brother fighting monsters. Although the monster fighting has always been his brothers forte. Sam still likes to imagine them doing it together. His brother and him are extremely close and he wouldn’t mind becoming an Auror, but his love of learning all he can in Hogwarts is only shaping him to one day be the best Headmaster Hogwarts will ever see and everyone knows that except when he does eventually grow up, he takes a position as the Transfigurations teacher and eventually ends up as Headmaster over the North American school, Ilvermourny to which all of his students love him and do agree he is one of the best. It’s the perfect life for him.

While his little brother is a Ravenclaw, Dean is the epitome of Gryffindor. Bravery, Chivalry, Nerve, Courage, and Determination. While Sam doesn’t dare think to put his name into the Goblet of Fire when it comes that time, Dean doesn’t think twice. He waltzes up to the cup, gives his brother an award winning smile and places it in. Cheers are erupted from the Gryffindor side and it comes to no surprise when Dean is called to play the game. It’s dangerous and involves the work of his friends and his brother, but he gets through it and when he emerges from the rubble of the last game, he’s holding the cup. The crowd uproars and Dean is lifted up and treated like a God until the end of the year. One of his best friends Jo (a fellow Gryffindor) comes up and plants her mouth onto his and from that moment on, he loves her and she loves him. Sam is constantly telling them about how it “took ‘me long enough” and Jo can’t help but blush while Dean gives his brother a glare, but the rest of there friends giggle. As you can well guess from the Goblet of Fire, Dean excels in Defense Against the Dark Arts. His goal is to be an Auror and help stop Dark Witches and Wizards alike. After all, his father John (a former Slytherin) is an Auror and when he comes home from a long day, he always has a new story to tell Dean and he relishes in them. Kicking ass and taking names- fighting evil. When he and his brother were kids they used to talk about fighting monsters together and they still keep that dream a while until Sam starts Hogwarts and he realizes that he has a knack for knowledge and he loves it and Dean loves watching his baby bro do what he loves. The first day of Dean’s last year at Hogwarts, Sam breaks the news to him that whole he loves the idea of him and his brother being Auror partners and fighting crime, he just loves to learn and teach more and Sam’s bottom lip is practically trembling and his eyes are all watery and Dean pulls his brother into a hug. “I know that’s not you Sammy and that’s okay. I like you as a nerd better.” He smiles and Sam laughs while tears roll down his face. Dean’s just always been better at that sort of thing than Sam. And while Dean isn’t fond of doing the whole Auror thing without his brother, he eventually finds his footing and becomes one of the best Aurors of his time. He stills calls every time he catches a bad guy and tells his brother of his adventures.

BONUS:

Castiel is a Hufflepuff. There’s no doubt about it. Dedication, patience, and loyalty. He’s Dean’s best friend and that right there says enough about his patience as Dean can have quite the temper. They balance each other out and Sam enjoys the company of Cas and how he reacts to Dean when they’re all hanging out together. It’s refreshing to see someone else put him in his place. After all only three people in his life have been able to do it. Sam, now Cas, And later on Jo. Castiel is by no means as smart as Sam, but more dedicated to his studies than Dean, who barely gets enough marks to pass. He is proficient in Herbology and even more outstanding in Care of Magical Creatures. He loves to sit and learn all he can about nature and the creatures he loves so much. Dragons, in fact, are his favorite and he talks about them as much as he can. He even hangs out with Hagrid when he wants to hear of more tales of the creatures. Sam loves hearing about them and they eventually find themselves hanging out after class and studying with each other in the library. Sam tells Cas about how he wants to learn all he can and one day be the best teacher he can and Castiel tells him that he’d like to one day be a Dragon Keeper and travel. While Castiel loves Dean and their friendship, it’s something else with Sam. He listens to everything Castiel has to say and he doesn’t judge him, not that Dean does, but Dean can tend to not have a serious side when it comes to certain matters. The first time they kiss is in front of the fireplace in the commons area during a snow storm. Everyone is asleep except for the two boys who whisper about there futures and when they kiss is when it becomes all too real that Castiel does in fact have feelings for his best friends younger brother and his younger brother has feelings back. At first it’s weird and awkward, but after a minute they’re practically in each other’s laps and soon laughing at each other in utter bliss. They take things slow and it’s in Sixth year where they finally tell Dean. Dean’s pissed and Castiel responds the way you would think a Hufflepuff responds. He lets Dean hell at him and throw insults his way. How dare he betray Dean and date his little brother behind his back? How dare he go after Sammy? Sam’s his responsibility while they’re away at school and Cas can’t just come in and take that. It isn’t until Sam whimpers “Dean” where Dean stops and looks at his brother. For the first time since he started the rant. Castiel just stands there still and is in front of Sam. “I love him Dean.” And Dean’s heart melts. He gives one last glare at Castiel and then his whole body softens. “Don’t hurts my brother or I’ll have to kill you,” he says and engulfs him in hug and Cas smiles hugging him back. “I can’t believe you just stood there and let him yell at you,” Sam frowned, confused. “It’s a Hufflepuff thing,” Dean adds backing up and Castiel looks at Sam with so much love and adoration that all of Dean’s worries melts away. When it’s time for them to graduate Hogwarts, Sam and Cas still stay in touch, but decide not to date and Castiel tells Sam all about his adventures as a Dragon Keeper and Sam tells him about school and his plans after. At Sam’s graduation, Cas is there, holding a stuffed Dragon and Sam hugs him and for the first time in a long time, they kiss and this time, they stay together. Castiel travels while Sam is at Ilvermourny and yeah it’s long distance, but nothing a little magic can’t help fix.

[stevecoleridge-posts]

Day 6 ..Friday          Struggling .. which is why i did nt see the news or spend time on Social Media yesterday..          I thought it would be a breeze and after a little concentration id have it down .. but no , even the first part…known as lumpedy lump was proving tough , because of the triplet  walk up from the V to the 1.. and i think thats the part Jimmy Reed himself is playing…   If you ve read previous episodes you will know i refer to Honest I Do….the song.   Im learning it on a You Tube lesson , now a lot of people who think of themselves as pros , seem to think there s some sort  of stigma ro learning stuff on You Tube, but i know a French guy , of Spanish descent , who is a really hot Flamenco guitarist who has mastered nearly all the Palos , and all on You Tube  They are right, if you dedicate yourself to different songs at the same time, but it s like working form home…you need time and discipline ..and take the lessons very slowly and don’t move on till you can play it 20 times with your eyes shut..preferably standing up .. then move on up. Yesterday  was the first time i managed to do this.   There is a different tone on Social media today .. angrier , more prone to blame others, more censorious…and on one group forum i saw they were going to ban Humour..well , i don’t personally know the Group leader.. but it does nt take much imagination to know she s not someone you d want to be quarantined with.    The only thing to fear is fear itself.. well i certainly don’t think that applies in this situation, quite the reverse, the more frightened we are the less we will venture forth on errands that are not strictly necessary..i was on my way out the door , literally, when my mobile rang…it was the charming woman from the bank.. she d got my message .. id gone way over my limit.. which was why i could nt withdraw funds…She , and i won’t name her, is working from Home and sorted it all out on her laptop..no need for me to go to town..      Is nt that great?..well , I thought it was..and a good thing too,as she has not been provided with any masks..and we are talking about a Bank..if they cant get basic stuff like that no wonder the Government  are nt testing people .. they don’t have the wherewithal…it is nt as though this has nt been on the News everyday since December the something.    .I remember listening to Radio Four as i was driving through Slough, in December,… don’t ask … the M4 was closed..and i was listening to a woman in Wuhan describing how her parents were dying in the Street.. that really got my attention.   It did nt seem to get the attention of the people in charge here however, as when the inevitable arrived nearly three months later , they had done nothing to prepare for it.   The Spanish Disease is politics, it creeps into every corner of life and spreads its poison , a bit like you know what,..and in the past when people got fed up with their venal politicians there was a Military Coup , and then they realised maybe life was better before with democracy … and the cycle starts again. This model has been exported successfully to Latin America.. with the possible  exception of Mexico. and Costa Rica   Its all very well for us stodgy Northerners with our bad weather , to criticise, but Sun affects people,and when things are good they seem so much better  in the Sunshine..but something about Sunny weather produces Volatility, and an @ i won’t fix the roof as its not raining @ World View… and Italys  colossal death rate is the price to be paid .. not that it is nt sunny in China..or South Korea..but they do a lot more than just fix the roof..and to put  it down to Confucianism .. well  maybe best not to start on that.   Australia will be interesting, they have lots of sun , but its a pretty organised place ..and i don’t see them making this sort of Balls up.. also they have the experience of natural disasters,,and pulling together, and will not let Politics interfere…any country that had leaders with  names  like Abbott and Costello doesn’t waste too energy on petty politics.  The Current Classic example of petty minded, spiteful, pointless,  negative ,oppurtunism , is the  attempt on social media and what sup groups to denigrate the Royal Family organising people to rattle saucepans at a given time, because apparently the current King s father had a rather large amount of money in a Swiss Account..well, it was Saudi Money , not money stolen from the Spanish taxpayer, unlike the billions stolen by the previous administration , the PP .The idea for this stupidity was inspired by the Custom of applauding the Medical profession every night at eight o clock.. an excellent morale boosting , bringing everyone together kind of gesture..well everything has its opposite and this is an excellent way to breed more discontent and fracture an all ready pretty fractured society.. it beggars belief and you really have to have lived here to see these Barca Madrid  idiocies at first hand.   Barca Madrid is a term used to describe the divide and conquer ,us and them , attitudes that have stopped Spains progress since the collapse of their Empire, culminating in the most vicious Civil War in recent European History, and one would have hoped  that after 40 plus years of Democracy it would have disappeared , but sadly, like in the USA and a lot of other democracies , it seems to be on the increase.The anger on Social Media which results from the claustrophobic frustration of a lockdown will hopefully not boil over into something with unpleasant political consequences, which would be very sad , as after Francos death and the adoption of constitution that is the envy of many countries, Spain was a beacon of hope in the last quarter of the 20 th century… how the mighty are fallen .. one hopes not.. SPANISH LOCKDOWN DAY  7   Slept really well , but then  I remember reading that people on Death row sleep 16 hours a day so possibly not a good sign.   Last Night i watched the Spanish news ,on the main channel and things are looking up , relatively speaking, in the sense that testing has arrived ..someone, or some country, has sent several thousand, or may be half a million test kits.. which is obviously excellent news , and testing in  Galicia is going full steam ahead. There was the obligatory item about a vaccine..which I think one can take with a pinch of salt. .Military erecting field hospitals next to various main hospitals…the eight o clock applause of medical staff…all in all well put together not too desperately pessimistic, and generally not as disheartening as Facebook.. afterwards i felt like some light relief so we watched eleven episodes of 2 and half men,  in Spanish ,to cheer ourselves up before going to bed.   ..   Today i decided to live a normal day .. if such a thing were possible , so , after taking Tina for a walk i got the Old TV and DVD working and put on Marty Schwarz s Intermediate Blues Guitar Course part one…and it started raining .. so that was encouraging as it took away any temptation to venture outside.. except for firewood that is.   I worked through the course without rushing , but also without too much pausing , as i d done those lessons before, and all that repetition of Honest I do  is paying off..   On going outside for firewood i could not ignore the noise of the generator that kicked in yesterday evening, as we ve had not Sun for several days, so i decided to fill it up with diesel, and see how much 15 hours constant running had used,only half the 20 litre can to fill  up the tank…but was it full to begin with?..anyway it s very rare to have 4 days without sun , so even if it did use  13 euros of diesel  Im not going to freak out as that was expensive diesel.. and I’m entitled to use the cheaper stuff .Of cause i spilled Diesel over my hands , and shoes , and when i spent a good 5 minutes trying to wash the smell out i realised this was the ultimate anti virus test.. so i will leave a bowl of Diesel outside every time i go to town and use that as first part of the disinfection process , yet another excuse not to go to town.    My neighbour M.  rang and suggested i look at his scheme on Facebook to institute Food Deliveries , so one does nt have to go to the Supermarket in person  and infect and be infected… a good idea of course , but like so many , i don’t see it happening…I pointed out several objections , lack of drivers, expense, one would need a sort of Uber program which will probably not be ready for a year .. etc..and the Supermarkets are making so much money i doubt they need this sort of input.I promised to look at it later , which I will , as Lunch was ready.   We ve run out of  Bread ,Oranges and Chocolate, Aurora has broken a nail and the nail bars are closed till further notice…but otherwise  we can probably get through till Monday without suffering too much ..on the other hand Monday is probably the worst day to go shopping..Im toying with the idea of going to the small Supermarket, at 8 am Sunday morning, and hopefully having it to myself , as i cant face the idea of a queue. I know English people are supposed to love queueing but i must be an exception, and queuing nowadays is a High Risk Activity.    The Sun is out and i did one of the jobs from a month old to do list… pumping the water out the flooded pump room , it all went very well , and i felt  very worthy , and now , with the Sunshine it s time for a walk , with Tina , of course.   I return , feeling optimistic .. and the phone rings, i assume it s my neighbour asking if I’ve read his article.it isn’t , it s C another near neighbour, with some very bad news .  The police are in Quarantine…and the Army will soon be here. No Tobacco..as they will close the Tobacconist.  A completely different ball game  I rang M, and gave him the news…I f he d had  a kalashnikov  he d have been checking the magazine  I rang another neighbour  F, whose office is next to the Police Station , to warn him. .When the Rumour , comes to your Town , It Grows and Grows, Where it Started No-one Knows…*Robbie Robertson   I rang my source in the Town Hall G…no , it s only one cop , and he has nt got the results yet..   I rang M  again…he had spoken to his friend who is a Guardia Civil .no , it was nt a Cop it was a Guardia Civil..he also told me the Cuban woman who cleans houses had been stopped, by the Police and they checked the receipt for her shopping    I rang the first neighbour and corrected the original story        I opened Facebook .. and there was the original story , which had started a firestorm of comments along the likes of whats your source? etc as though we were in the Watergate hearings, not only that,  the people reading the story imagined it referred to Mojacar , not Carboneras , and were all frantically ringing the Police Staion , The Town Hall and each other to see if it were true.    The tones of the respective comments went from shrill outrage that anyone should suggest such a story without due documentation , to fear , to I knew this would happen, all these irresponsible idiots .. blah blah   It began to increasingly resemble an episode of Dads Army with a false alarm about a German Landing.., which Facebook does anyway    There is the Captain Mainwaring..@While i was out today making sure everyone was behaving themselves i saw these irresponsible panic shoppers,  and these people walking around without a good reason @     The Fraser .. We Re Doomed     The Air raid Warden…Its all the fault of the Ruling Class, and rules are rules etc     Jones ..Dont Panic... in a tone of complete hysteria    Pikes mother…Be sure to wear your gloves , motorcycle helmet , hazchem suit, mask..galoshes, .Do you have your hand sanitiser , all clothes must be burnt on reentry etc     By this time Auroras original alarm had been replaced by hilarity, as she was sitting by the fire hearing one side of these conversations..     I went out for some more wood and we relaxed by watching a Documentary about the Boeing 737 MAX..complete with simulation in the Pilots cockpit    The best part was the CEO of Boeing trying to justify his 30 million Dollar salary at a Congressional hearing..…i wondered what the Shareholders thought about that , i know what the victims families thought , as they were being interviewed and did nt sound too impressed

[blxckdamask]

Trashcan’s Fic Rec: July ‘19

i know this is really late but i was busy so i couldnt really get this done. an yway,,, yall know the drill by now,, this has a bunch of bnha (mostly bkdk) and some rairpairs aswell as some drarry, odaat and b99.

BNHA Fics:

{bakudeku}

Roadmap of Our Lives by erza_mikazuki | 4k | 1/1| nsfw | emotional sex | body worship | scars | fluffy smut is my shit ngl

When Izuku's insecurities about his scarred body hit him full throttle, Katsuki is there to show Izuku just how beautiful scars can be.

4 AM Inquiry by SecretKiwi | 3k | 1/1 | established relationship | marriage proposal | fluff | this fic is how im tryna be 

Katsuki's reflection above the sink stared back. Eyes still drowsy with a hint of a shadow beneath them. Hair more of a mess than he would prefer, but he was plenty awake now.

All because of Deku.

~

Katsuki reflects at 4 am.

Happy Pride by PrinceTriscuit | 2k | 1/1 | getting together | gay fluff | coming out | wholesome 

Pride has always had a special place in Midoriya Izuku's heart.

Love For a Friend by Jessica14 | 2k | 1/1 | magic au | ghost izuku | protective bakugou | angst with a happy ending | idk how to summarize the tags just read it its so fucking good

"I trusted you and you had me murdered!” Midoriya wailed, anguished. Bakugou twitched focusing on the spell that made him capture Midoriya's soul.

“Shut up! You got yourself killed!”

“I didn't! You said you had my back and I thought you had it! But you didn't! Kacchan! My body!” Midoriya cried as he watched Bakugou lug his limp body through the forest.

This is what happens when Bakugou tries to become best friends with Midoriya again.

Say It Again by bkdkwritingsdump | 2k | 1/1 | angst | quirk mishap | angry izuku | established relationship | guilty bakugou 

Katsuki doesn't know what's wrong with Izuku. Is he mad? What is he mad about? What did Katsuki do!? All he knows is that he can't let Izuku break up with him. Not while they're still keeping their relationship a secret.

Or

Izuku forces Katsuki to apologize for everything he's ever done to hurt him.

Best Friends by artindistress | 13k | 2/2 | fem!deku | best friends au | getting together | minor izuchako | fluff | friends to lovers | this shit is so fluffy im in love

Bakugou and Midoriya have been best friends since... well, since either of them could remember. But both harbor unspoken feelings for the other, will this be an end to their friendship?

Foster-Mates by bkdkwritingsdump | 32k | 15/15 | hybrids au | cat!katsuki & dog!izuku | getting together | tw past abuse | tw self harm | angst | angst with a happy ending | eventual nsfw 

Izuku, a dog hybrid, has lived with his owner Toshinori, a retired hybrid psychologist, his whole life. He takes on some of the shelter’s most difficult cases as fosters, and so Izuku has learned to be the best foster-mate possible for scared and abused hybrids. At first, Katsuki, a cat hybrid who’s been kept in a tiny apartment nearly his whole life, seems just like any of the other awful cases they’ve seen, but somehow, Izuku and him grow a lot closer than usual over the course of his stay. Eventually, the question becomes: could he stay forever?

bellflowers by vannral | 15k | 4/4 | hanahaki disease au | getting together angst | angst with a happy ending | unrequited love (kinda) | eventual fluff

“Izuku knows what the Hanahaki does. He knows what his options are, and sure, they aren’t great. In fact, they’re pretty horrible. The list is short and daunting. There are still flower petals on his pillow."

In which Izuku has Hanahaki Disease, and Katsuki's furious.

TFW Your Roommate Brings a Baby Home by Hotshott (Artemystic) | 5k | 1/1 | friends to lovers | fluffy fluff | baby used as a plot device | this is just pure fluff guys its great 

And you're crushing on him, and he's just so cute, and the baby's cute, and what's a guy to do, anyway?

family dinners by luciimariiellii | 1k | 1/1 | family fluff | friends to lovers | pining for days | this is so cute i love 

Ever since they were little, Izuku and Katsuki’s families have had family dinners. It’s just them and their parents, and that’s fine. Until more people get dragged in. (And try to set Izuku and Katsuki up.)

for twinstars week day four - family

{todobaku}

cold, hot and so damn soft by orphan_account | 7k | 1/1 | established relationship | light angst | fluff | romance 

It started from a normal evening to a small argument that made them go on vacation that made Katsuki realize that he wanted something more from Shouto.

The Shitty Parents Squad (series) by YinYangZodiac | 8 works | 15k | tw child abuse | tw domestic abuse | caring characters | ooc kinda | this is very soft but very sad and im so in love with this series 

Bakugou, Denki, Midoriya, Momo and Todoroki all end up in a McDonald's one early morning. A suggestion of a movie and a credit card reveal later and the teens are off to spend the day together.

They all know that it's Todoroki's father's credit card, but none of them care.

Eyes Aren't Always Windows To The Soul by Alienqueen42, TheLibrarian9 | 1k | 1/1 | deaf!bakugou & blind!todoroki | emotional hurt/comfort | heavy angst | light fluff | getting together 

Bakugo and Todoroki both find themselves living together with disabilities, helping each other get by. In doing so, they fall in love.

{rairpairs & other ships} 

staring into our bright future by wonduhhwoman | kacchako | 9k | 1/1 | quirk mishap | future and present uraraka swap bodies | established relationship | developing relationship | fluff 

“You haven’t changed at all, have ya?” he observed, pinching her cheek affectionately.

Ochako batted his hand away from her cheeks for the second time that morning, wondering if he had a thing for them. “That doesn’t even make any sense, Bakugou. I’m from the past. Of course I haven’t changed.”

“Makes perfect sense,” Bakugou countered, closing his teeth around a bite of eggs. “You were doing this same shit yesterday morning.”

-

My entry for the day 2 prompt of Kacchako week: otherworldly.

Five Times his Service Dog helps Shinsou and One Time Bakugou does by SupaKawaiiDesu | bakushin | 7k |1/1 | tw panic attacks and disorders | hoh!bakugou | fluff | college au | strangers to friends to lovers | fluff | light angst | fluffy shit we fuckin stan this rairpair

Bakugou watches with something akin to affection when Shinsou starts playing with his dog until she jumps all around him and is barking excitedly. He has never seen the both of them so content before. The Sergeant is always so concentrated at College grounds, either that or she’s calm but still looking out for him. Bakugou has seen them during lectures, at lunch at their usual table, during their ways to Bakugou’s dorm and to Shinsou’s apartment off campus, he has seen them through their late-night-skyping sessions and in countless pictures on Sergeant Barkowitz’ Instagram. He has seen their best but not their worst, and that makes Bakugou wonder if he’ll ever be such a great companion to Shinsou like the Sergeant is.

A Hero's Goodbye by Gentle_Love_9 | erasermic | 1k | 1/1 | death fic | major angst | somehow fluffy as well?? | bitches i cried so fuckin hard when i read this omf

"Shouta could have never imagined reaching this point in his life. He honestly expected to die at some point when he was younger, alone somewhere in an alleyway, killed in action during his hero work maybe."

Instead he's in a warm hospital bed and surrounded by some of the people he cares most about.

On These Unsteady Legs by Spider_Lilly | erasermic | 4k | 1/1 | shinsou and eri centric | hurt/comfort | angst with a happy ending

Shinsou Hitoshi had never had a family before, and he refuses to screw it up. But when a villain attacks him and his new little sister, he may have lost the only family he's ever had.

We love and respect Bakugou in this house (series)  by Bakudont_be_weird | bakudabi | 5 works | 54k | tw rape/non-con | abo | alpha!dabi & omega!bakugou | very nsfw | stockholm syndrome | mpreg | fucked up fluff | angst with somewhat of a happy ending ig | ngl this ship is suppose to be fucked up and problematic but this series is really fucking good if you're into fucked up fics

Bakugou never wanted to be mated. Especially not to a villain but it didn't look like he had any choice in the matter. The only question now was: will he ever escape?

OR,

The author loves Bakugou and loves to make him suffer so Dabi kidnaps him and forces our favourite blasty boy to become his mate. It goes from bad to good to bad and back to good.

Days in a Crucible by doop_doop | bakuiida | 40k | 9/9 | kidnapping | emotional hurt/comfort | getting together | developing relationship | acquaintances to lovers | mentions of past todobaku | ptsd

While working together as pro heroes, Iida, Bakugou and Todoroki are taken captive. The situation is strange: none of their Quirks work, and they aren’t tortured or killed – in fact, they never see their captors. There is nothing to do but wait.

Things are tense between the three of them, but Iida finds the situation bringing him closer to Bakugou than he thought possible. But who knows how this will change things between when they get out…

Pet Names by BluePlanetTrash | bakuiida | 4k | 2/? | quirk mishap | ooc | flufffffffff | overuse of petnames | #LetBakugouBeSweet2k19 | iida calls bakugou sugar and thats all that matters

Quirk: Infatuation - The user of this quirk affects two people by touching them at the same time, they then fall into a state of infatuation with each other; they could be affected by this for up to a week.

Iida and Bakugou get affected by an infatuation quirk that makes them be sweet to each other. So sweet, that it could give you cavities. Warning: This story will contain an excessive amount of pet names, hence the title.

Other Fandoms Fics: 

Portrait of a Young Girl by trishjames | drarry | 8k | 1/1 | established relationship | trans!teddy | internalised homophobia | family feels | light angst with a happy ending

Recently married, Harry and Draco are tasked with raising a four-year old Teddy, whose emerging gender identity brings up an array of questions, fears, and revelations for them when they realise that Teddy might be transgender.

Over the Moon and Up the Duff by hdmpregmod | drarry | 4k | 1/1 | established relationship | mpreg | fluff | harry is a little shit

When Draco learns he's pregnant again, he blames his husband. Harry, however, couldn't be happier.

Boyfriends From College by Impossibly_Izzy | peraltiago | 1k | 1/1 | bi!jake | established peraltiago | jake dated schneider and john mulaney | self discovery 

Jake dated two guys in college, but doesn't realise until he introduces one of them to Amy.

broken compass, still moving forward by confessionofaking | odaat (no pairing) | 1k | 1/1 | trans!schneider | coming out | misunderstandings | trans schneider stans come get yalls juice

The family learns a secret about Schneider

lemongrass and sleep, apple juice and peach by riverblujay | odaat (no pairings) | transgirl!alex | self discovery | coming out | syd is a great friend 

alex said the far scarier sentence that at the same time was more comforting than anything the teenager had ever heard before. “she,” alex mumbled under his- no, her- breath, voice beginning to choke up, “was sitting on her bed, in her room. her,” he- she, she- sighed and spoke just a little louder, just a little surer. “her name is alex, and she’s a girl.” alex smiled to herself, so small it was probably barely considered one. she didn’t care; she finally felt whole.

or: in another world, elena isn't the only alvarez daughter (but it takes alex some time to figure that out)

[dawnowar]

So this school lunches thing got me thinking about the way my abusive stepmother treated me as a child.

Thats as much of a trigger warning as you’re getting cause I think its better to process things than avoid them...  I have time to write and this is on my mind this second. Writing is a huge part of how I process things... so here we go.

So i passed on a post cause our local school system is offering free lunches for any kids under 18, which is great. I’m a big proponent for school lunches because growing up my evil stepmother didnt feed me right. and I was a rich kid so i think there was a lot of expectation that i was being taken care of in a way that I was not.

My stepmothers whole thing.. my family’s whole thing.. was pretending we were a normal family. Presenting that way to the outside world. Even in our house there was a huge degree of this. Which made it worse for me because it was so easy for people to assume i was just a weird kid when the signs presented themselves to people who could have helped me.

Anyway since i grew up and especially after she died, so many people told me that of course they noticed things weren’t right and of course they said something and fought for me. I never knew that until recently. So as nice as it is to hear, it didn’t help me live through those 8 or so years she was in charge of me.

At home she fed me candy.  and ice cream. cupcakes, etc. and that’s all. Breakfast was one cup of hot cocoa with two packets of mix in there that was always like a clumpy syrup at the bottom of the cup. After school was candy until my dad got home and we would all sit at the table and pretend to eat a meal together. She would give me the tiniest portion of meat or any real food and then tell my dad how I “eat like a bird”. which is nonsense. He never questioned it any further than that. 

On weekends when I had to eat at home I was allowed noodles and butter, mac and cheese and not a lot else. just pasta. When I got older, I would actually sneak eggs and tuna when she wasnt home. I’m sure she noticed these things going missing but what was she gonna do after I ate it? 

She had a lot of rules on me for every single thing. That didn’t make any sense. Where i was allowed to go, where i was allowed to sit, who i was allowed to talk to.. and i just mean in the house on a regular day... I wasnt allowed to use the upstairs bathrooms at all, i had to use the guest bathroom downstairs and I wasn’t allowed to bathe or shower, but when I got older i started sneaking showers when she was gone as well. 

I’d hear the garage door close as she was leaving and I’d be showering and eating tuna and trying my best to cover up my tracks before she got back. 

All this started gradually... wasnt at once or anything so when it started i was like 8 give or take.. and we moved a couple of times so more rules were put in place as i was moved further away from the neighbors who looked after me. When i was 10 we moved to a different city where I knew no one and i was on my own. Inside my own home. I just had to deal with it till i grew up. But it got much worse before it got better. By the time i was around 14, i was dealing with growing up stuff.. by the time I was 16 she really couldn’t control me anymore, so stuff like what i ate or where I sat or if I showered... i just one day figured out that if i just do things she usually cant or wont stop me. 

She used to steal my things and i didn’t have a hairbrush for years. I wasnt allowed to bathe, or do my laundry and I didn’t have a hairbrush, so you can imagine I looked like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. She told my teachers I liked being like that or something. One of my gym teachers humiliated me once by forcing me to stay after class and shower as if i was just gross and she was solving the problem. She just humiliated me on top of all i was suffering, so i didn’t look to teachers to help me. 

My evil stepmother was physically abusive to me as well but that was the easy part. She would just go into rages and take it out on me if i didn’t obey her nonsensical rules which were impossible to follow anyway. She would come and attack me while I was asleep any morning my father left for work early. Most mornings. A normal morning for me..... She would wake me up by dragging me out of bed by my hair, onto the floor, out of my room, into the hall, around the corner and down the stairs and leave me at the bottom of the stairs to start my morning routine getting dressed and ready for school. 

Then I watched cartoons in the TV room by myself and drank the chocolate sludge till it was time to get on the bus to go to school where all the kids hated me because i was gross and I spent all day getting teased and taunted till I came home and went back to the TV room where she would either bring me candy or come in an attack me and pull my hair out. I wouldn’t know which one she was coming in the room for until she was doing it. There was a lock on the door and I would lock her out when she was being violent but she had the lock removed. Lied to the locksmith and my dad and made them believe there was a reason to take the lock out, so I started locking myself in the bathroom.

By the time I was 16, I was a much more imposing figure she couldn’t control completely anymore. I was washing myself and i was dressing myself so i didn’t look so dorky and maybe people started liking me at school. I got super lucky that a girl actually became my friend at school. She was not only super-independent but she had a car so she could pick me up and drive me away and she had a job working at a laundromat so i was able to wash my clothes for free and spend time away from home and learn how to grow up into a person who could do something besides just stay alive. 

But clear up to the very end of high school school lunches were my main source of nutrition. My evil stepmother was letting me eat pizza by then too. For her, being fat was the worst possible thing I guess so she just tried her best to fatten me up feeding me only carbs while both her daughters grew up to become anorexic. 

The first day I was actually on my own ever.. I was in England and I had just slept off the jet lag in my new rented room that was just for me. I wasnt on any program or plan. I wasn’t at college, nobody was in charge of me...  i was just there. just me and this rented room and I woke up in the morning with nothing and realized i needed to feed myself. I went to McDonald’s and got a vanilla milkshake and realized i have no idea how to feed myself like a normal person. 

I had to start that day and figure every single thing out for myself via trial and error about how to be a person in the real world.

That woman only had control of me for 8 years of my life and then I went out into the world and became a real person after that. She didn’t break me or destroy me. She did, however, destroy my family.

Its my dad’s fault for letting her. I’ve always felt this way. He was the adult. He was the only one who could have stopped it but instead he spent his time pretending everything was OK. I didn’t know until recently that literally EVERYONE told him, so he was willfully ignorant. He sacrificed his own children for this facade of a relationship with this woman. I can’t explain why a person does that, but he left me and my brother to fend for ourselves.

Which we did and we are ok. 

I don’t care what happened to her or her daughters. She basically stole the life I should have had and gave it to her children, but from what little i know about them from the outside is that they had their own problems which seem much harder to get past than what I had to deal with. 

I don’t mourn the loss of that life i never had any more than I mourn the life that we pretended we were having that we never were. 

I only wish I’d known back then the enormous power I really had if i’d only just kept on telling everyone who would listen truth. If i had told everyone everything at every turn i would have saved myself. I didn’t know that at the time. I was just a kid and I gave up because i didn’t believe anyone was listening once my most trusted adult didn’t believe me. I suffered until I grew up and didn’t have to suffer anymore. 

I am an emotionally healthy adult for the most part. I’m not without scars. It’d be impossible to come out of that unscathed. I’m perpetually single because being alone is safe and comforting for me. Because when people come in, you don’t know if they’re going to attack you or give you candy but neither one of them is what you really need. 

I flailed around for a lot of years as an adult trying to figure out how to take care of myself. I finally got it right after my boyfriend in the late 90s dumped me and I wasn’t dealing well when my best friend died and everything just burned down around me and i had to rebuild everything from scratch slowly and methodically starting with cleaning my kitchen and i found the flylady.org who put me on the path to getting my house cleaning under control and then the rest of it followed. 

Now i actually clean other peoples houses for a living.

We always had housekeepers and those ladies were the best women to me ever in my life and I’m proud to see that I’ve followed in their footsteps. These are the women who cared for me. These are the women who were kind to me. These are the women who worked hard for what they had instead of marrying rich and stealing from their cash-cow’s children. 

I didnt get the evil stepmother until I was around 7 or 8 years old but i had plenty of great parenting, people who loved me, people who took great care of me and taught me to be smart before I got there. I believe this is how I survived. 

School lunches, other people’s good parents, and good role models on my TV. And Rock and Roll, which became a real source of empowerment, an outlet for stress, and a way for me to meet people who became friends as I got older. 

I love all the true crime stories of how abused children grow up and somewhere around puberty they rebel and their abuser can’t control them anymore. I think this is how so many of us get away. We become adults. Probably best you don’t kill your abuser, but there’s some part of that tragedy i can’t help but like when you find out people like Gypsy Rose Blanchard was suffering for so long so she did something about it. 

I never did shit. 

I grew up and got away and that’s good enough. This woman didn’t give a fuck about me and until i got away from her and my dad pretending everything was fine and her daughters going along with it all, I was never going to have my own real life... which i deserved to have. 

Glad i wasnt so trapped i felt like i had to kill her to get away. She was more than happy to let me go away so I was already gone years before i realized i didnt have to let her control any part of my life at all. 

Seems so dumb i still played along for so many years after I was grown and moved away. It’s just the way things were for so long i just kept doing it. 

Until one day my younger sister was getting married and she called me to ask me to be in the wedding and im like...... you dont even like me, why would you want me in your wedding? and she said she orig only wanted her sister but they needed more bridesmaids or something.. maybe that was other sisters wedding.. i cant remember but it was stupid and had nothing to do with me and i was not gonna put my life on hold and spend all this money to travel states away to pretend any of this mattered to me so that was it. 

It was over. Finally.  Totally over.  All I had to do was just not live like that anymore. 

and I did. I live however I want to now. 

So fast forward to present time and im in my early 50s and i get a call says the evil stepmother is dead and my dad is still alive but only barely. My first inclination is to scoop him up and go thank goodness thats over, but unfortunately i doubt he saw it that way. and instead it ended with me trying to contact him directly and not through my step-sister but it was impossible and disappointing since she was still trying to act like the middleman i didn’t ask for but not providing any useful information or assistance in communicating with him.  She wanted me to call him even though he can’t hear so a phone call was just going to be more of the pretending everything is fine I refuse to take part in anymore.

I wrote him a letter directly asking him to take his time and write me back but all i got back was more interference from her and more insistence that i call him. Which I never did..... because he can’t hear. so what’s the point. He died shortly after that and i knew almost nothing about what was happening or not happening at any point.  

So he’s gone now too. Buried with the wife and one of the sisters who committed suicide a few years back. Growing up in a family like this isn’t good for anyone even if you aren’t the target for the abuse. All three of them are gone and im not sorry im glad for it. 

Their dead bodies can lie in the ground pretending they were a good family and no one walking by them ever has to know the truth. That’s how they lived their lives and that’s how they’ll rest forever. 

I expect to have a lot of life left to live and i’m going to do it on my own terms and be kind to people and not value money or other people’s perceptions of me over everything. 

[milesawaylove-blog1]

When those we love, have to go

Firstly, I just want to say this is a post I have been very nervous about. It’s been written for months but I've been very apprehensive to share it. It’s is very personal to me, but I also thought why would anyone want to bother reading it. But after much consideration I realised that this subject is one all too many of us are familiar with. Loss. Those who know me well know that I could talk for England, but I really struggle to be honest with myself about things I NEED to talk about. Hence why this piece became reality. And by sharing my own experience it may help someone else to feel less alone with the pain that so many of us share. Writing for me is therapy, it allows me to channel my thoughts positively- and lift weight from me mentally.

Like most little girls my Dad was my best friend. I always wanted to be around him. I was so fortunate to grow up with parents who I am wonderfully close to, and each relationship was so different and special in its own way. My Dad was my superhero. He made me feel safe and like we could do anything if we put our minds to it. Scary things were less scary when he was around. I was the more adventurous one out of my sister and I- so it was always me and Dad trying the new theme park rides, together. And we were the strongest team. We are so similar in many ways too, I definitely got my opinionated nature from him. He was never afraid to say what he thought- sometimes this was for good but it could also land him in hot water occasionally! But he also didn't care what other people thought- something I admired so much. He didn't care about making himself look silly, and always stood up for what was right, and for those who couldn't always do it for themselves.

I was only 12 years old when we received the news. Cancer. The word that every family dreads to hear. Before we knew Dad went for initial testing for the pains in his lower back that were stopping him from walking properly and I remember thinking how scared I was that it would be cancer. And when we found out I was so upset as I thought it was my fault for thinking it. As you can imagine, the next year was hell for my family. Endless chemo treatments, hospital visits, tears, cuddles and being the most scared I've ever been.

But my Dad was so strong. He took it all in his stride. He hardly ever complained and I only ever saw him cry once. Even though he was so ill, he always remained so positive and was always thinking of others, because thats just who he was. And he was incredible.

The 21st of January 2011 was the day my life changed forever. The day that all our lives changed. Suddenly he was gone. My happy, outrageous, fun, caring wonderful Daddy was gone. Half of me was gone and I was never getting him back. I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to believe it. I asked the nurse to double check, and bless her she did, probably to give me peace of mind. Everyone reacts differently to death, and I was numb- I didn’t cry. I couldn't. That has always played on my mind- how can something so devastating happen but your body doesn't flinch, no tears? No acceptance and shock, I guess that’s why. My last ever memory of my Dad, is when I gave him a final kiss goodbye. He didn't look like himself anymore and he was so cold. That is something that will stay with me forever. 

The next few weeks, months and years were weird, we tried to go on with normal life but in reality we couldn't. Our foundation had been taken away. We crumbled, and it was going to take an incredibly long time for us to even think about beginning to rebuild. 

My mum and sisters grieving process began straight away and I felt like mine never truly began. Seeing them both cry meant I couldn't cry. I had to be strong for them, just like Dad would have been. It definitely made me grow up so quickly. But this wasn't healthy for me, as I ended up bottling my feelings for months on end, that then resulted in colossal breakdowns that would last for hours on end, and when I was all tired from crying, it would begin again. The bottling. The un-acceptance. The feeling of it just not being real. I would definitely say for the first year I didn't even process it. We were so used to being without him when he was in hospital, there was always the childish hope that he would just come back or that it had all been a horrendous nightmare. But sadly, this nightmare was a reality. Every time I thought about it, I thought “why him, why did this happen to us?” I was really angry and constantly felt how unfair life is. I thought there are some people in the world that deserve this WAY more than him, he was a good person so couldn't it just have taken a bad person instead? Yes that’s bad, but it’s honest. I genuinely thought that most days. It was just horrible that one of the two people that brought me into this world, and who I loved the most was ripped away from me & I still feel like that now.

Today I am 21 years old. I have been without my Dad for 8 years. I lost him at such a young age, I feel as if I have been cheated of the life that I should have had with him. The last 2/3 years have been particularly hard for me. If I'm honest, probably the hardest yet. As an adult I have realised the consequences of living a life with one parent missing. And he has missed so much. My GCSE’s, my singing, my first ever show and all the ones to follow, getting into University, getting jobs. It truly breaks my heart that my Dad never got to meet Charlie. The person that loves his nutty little girl for everything that she is both good and bad, and has provided nothing but love and support over the last three and a half years. I always found it weird and creepy when people say you end up with people like your parents, (sociologist/media students you know what I mean lol) in some ways this could not be further than the truth but in others it is. I’ve been lucky enough to find someone as kind, funny and warm-hearted as my Dad. I just know if they had ever met my Dad would have given him hell for the first few weeks, but they would have got on so well- and I know this because my whole family agrees.

There will be so many more things that I wish he could be here for, and that I would give anything for his guidance on. He won’t see my graduate in a few months time, or get my first proper job and help me move to London. He’ll miss out on my wedding and my children will never know their Grandad- I know all of that is so far away but you just can't help but think about it. Even though he may not physically be here, I truly believe he has been watching over me and guiding me through the past 8 years- because as Winnie the Pooh says (one of my faves growing up) “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.”

People always say it gets better in time, but for me this is bullshit. The longer I go without him the harder it gets. Generally, I think I’ve done pretty bloody well. I know I should give myself credit but it is so hard to. I’ve been through a lot and I’m still going through it. It’s so much harder for me as my family are at different stages now but I still feel stuck, longing and not wanting to move on. I don’t think I ever want to move on completely, and thats okay. It still hurts and it hurts so bad. Those who are lucky enough to have not experienced anything like this don't always get it, and that can be frustrating, but I have to remember what ever I feel is normal and okay, and I should never feel bad about feeling upset wether it has been 8 years, 18 years or 80 years.

However, through all the hurt, and sadness, what I am left with is beautiful. Family, friends, and loved ones, but most importantly memories. The brilliant family holidays to Devon, Christmases, Birthdays, Weddings, game nights, golf lessons & nights in. I was lucky enough to spend 12 years with my Dad which is more than some. I will cherish those years, but my god I wish every day that they weren't cut short. I miss you constantly Papa Bear. I hope you are proud of me. I love you forever.

Your Emsie xxx

P.s- To those of you I cherish the most- both family and friends, you know who you are. Thank you for being there for me and keeping my head up when I feel down. Forever grateful for you all. BIG LOVE xxxx

[richard-the-boy-wonder-blog]

Guess whos evil anD HATES ME, ITS KATIE! @not-reddie ❤❤❤

Eddie: *He sings in the shower every morning when he gets up. And its not your cute dainty singing, oh no. Its a full out concert in the bathroom, he sings along to ‘eye of the tiger’, 'we are the champions’, 'boys are back in town’ all the best jams.

*Eddie knows how to cook. Since his dad died his mom kinda stepped back as a parent and left him to learn how to do basic grown up duties. Hes really good at making spaghetti much to Richies humor.

*He is a really bad rage gamer. The losers have monopoly night which use to be dark souls night till Eddie shattered a ps2 controller.

*Actually a thicc and juicey boy. This kid is eating well and it shows.

*Eddie is a metal head. He likes NIN, Korn, Marylin Manson, Tool, but worst of all ICP. No one knows he likes ICP but 'piggy pie’ and 'boogey woogey’ are his jam.

*Eddie is also fairly good at doing voices along side Richie. They like to talk to each other in Mickey Mouse and Goofy voices all the time.

*He cannot own a fish or plant because IT WILL DIE.

*After Eddie moves his medical transcripts are taken literally and he ends up an addict for a year.

*Hes got a terrible terrible laugh. Is not cute or anything itll start off normal but then hes just wheezing and snorting till he basically passes out and clams down.

*Hes good with cars, hes the one who rebuilt Bills firebird.

Richie: *He has the Austin Powers theme set for his alarm, he dances to the coffee pot every morning in nothing but boxer breifs, crocs, and a blue robe to his while the song plays.

*Hes an ass man?? Guy, girl, his age, or 50 years old Richie Toizer digs the booty.

*Richie and Bill had their own band, '2+2.’ They both were lead guitar and vocals and only ever played Tenacious d.

*Richie has a real hard time telling people to 'fuck off’ or to 'go fuck themselves’ because hes afraid theyll actually leave him.

*Because of his sensory overload (a side effect of adhd) booming noises piss him off, stomping on the floor or when someone knocks too loud on the door it instantly throws him into a bad mood.

*Richie does a really good Selvester Stalon impessionation, its probably his best and most obnoxious voice.

*Hes a cat person for the simple fact that no one else really likes cats and they’re super chill and goofy.

*Both points above being said, he makes up voices for his pets and when hes lonely he makes them “talk” to him.

*The Chinese take out place a block over from his apartment know him by name because he once ordered every item off their menu and ate it all with chop sticks including his mochi balls.

*If you cant find Richie hes on the roof.

Ben: *This. Boy. Is. Good. At. Makeup. And. Hair Fight. Me. Ben heard Bev complaining one day about how hard it was to get ready in the morning so natrually he studied beauty blogs night and day for a month to help her.

*Hes your go to man with an problems you have, hes damn good and listening and giving back good feedback on the issue.

*Hes the one who loads the coffee pot because hes the only one who knows how.

*Ben joined the Marines after marrying Bev to carry on his familys tradition of serving the country.

*Because Beverly hangs around him so much, and speaks so highly of him, Bens first male crush was Richie.

*Hes a mamas boy through and through, it might not show as bad as Eddie does but he would kill for his mommy.

*Hes been a licensed contractor, and a very sucssesful one at that, since he was 17.

*Bens favorite day is Tuesday because then he gets to wear his 'taco Tuesday’ shirt.

*He wears really nice cologne and uses really nice minty shampoo and conditioner. Ben never smells bad ever.

*He knows all the names of the carebears.

Stan: *Whos severely lactose intolerant but loves cheese to the end of the earth? Stanly.

*Stans a really good drawer and writer but doesnt flaunt his work. What poems and art he has done are all hidden in a little notebook he carries everywhere with him.

*When he gets angry or excited he spout off in Hebrew, he hates it but everyone loves it.

*Hes clinically depressed as well as Mike so they have their own little get togethers in his room to talk and just be soft and warm together.

*“Joy to the world” by: CCR is the one song Stan cant not sing and dance along to.

*Speaking of dancing, Stans a damn good dancer?? He doesnt like to dance in front of others but sometimes he really can’t help himself.

* Hes got a tramp stamp that only Bill and Eddie know about.

*Stan is a really terrible drunk, like hes a mess and a hot one at that. His 21st birthday was a nightmare, thats where the tramp stamp came from.

*Stan fucks with everyone more than anyone else does but hes so suave about it everyone else points fingers at everyone but Stan.

*He doesnt know it but the brownies in the back of the freezer are Richies editable… He has one every Friday.

Bill:

*Still has bath toys and he uses, cleans, and plays with them regularly.

*He really likes otters and has big dreams to go to an aquarium sometime.

*He hates Monday’s with a burning passion, he hates Monday more than Garfield. So on Monday he makes everyone pancakes for breakfast to make it better.

* Bill is a babysitter for Georgie and a writer on the side. Being an uncle is a full time job with benefits.

*Real life superwholock nerd fan: Billiam Denbrought.

*He was a swimmer in high school and he cant grow hair on his legs anymore because of it.

*He pure edits all the losers homework and essays.

*He makes it a point to take his dogs and Eddie down to the park to play catch/fetch every weekend.

*His worst fear outside of losing his brother is Spiders or creepy crawlies in general.

*HE DONT EAT HE DAMN VEGETABLES. HE IS THE PICKIEST EATER AND IT MAKES EVERYONE SO MAD.

Mike: *Super flirtatious, like he doesnt even know hes flirting hes just really good at it.

*He collects stuffed animals. At first he was just having a hard time getting rid of his baby toys but now its a problem.

*He loves the color yellow?? Its his color, is room is painted yellow, his car is yellow, his favorite sweater is yellow. Mike really likes yellow.

*Spicey food makes him cry. Not because it makes him sad but because its fucking spicey.

*Chivalry and manners are alive and well in this one. Hes a complete gentlemen to men and women alike but even moreso to children.

*Mike is ticklish, way super ticklish, you even wiggle a finger at him at hes like: “FKDKF FHHEHEHEHEHE STOOOOOOOP.”

*Hell never say it but alot of his songs are about Bill. And not just cause they in love but because Mike genuinly loves and looks up to Bill as a person.

*He can play the guitar, bango, harmonica, piano, cello, the triangle and he can sing.

*Mike kisses all his friends platonically on the lips and no one has ever questioned it.

*Hes really good at riddles and rhymes.

Beverly: *She totes around a huge bag full of crap 24/7, its like Eddies fanny pack but 1000× larger and its full of crap theyll never need.

*Bev will not drink milk, i dont know why she just doesnt.

*She makes all hers and Richies clothes and fixes all the torn, ripped, and button missing clothes in the house.

*Beverly is a tree climbing champion.

*Beverly believes in faries because she is one and shes not ashamed of the fact.

*She talks in her sleep loudly too. All the guys will stay uo during their sleep overs just to hear what stupid shit shes gonna say while klonked out.

*She volunteers at the animal shelter, soup kitchen, and cleans uo trash off the side of the road for fun.

*When shes sad she listens to he Srgt. Peppers Loney Hearts Club Band record on repeat till she feels better.

*Shes always wanted to play Rizzo in Grease.

*She helps Mike run their greenhouse which she and Ben built together.

[teamkaiforever]

- MASTERLIST                   KAI PARKER SMUT -

•  I Always Get What I Want Kai keeps tugging on reader’s skirt , she tells him off but thats only the beginning … •  Roommates (A Prison World Story) Reader gets sent to the Prison World where Kai is. They have briefly crossed parts before  and have spend nearly 5 months together in there, over time getting closer and eventually move in together (as friends , things grow from there) … •  Don’t Challenge Me (a bit of a sequel to Roommates ) •  All I Want Kai stalks Reader who is super annoyed because Kai never stops talking , dropping hints about him being in love with her and one day Reader finds Kai sleeping in her bed … •  Magic Fingers (a prequel of sorts to ’Don’t Let Me Go’) • Bring Me To Life Reader is in love with Kai but he ignores it because the feelings he has scare him and is not sure if it’s love. •  How I Really Feel Reader is a part of the MF gang and a which with a different kind of powers. She likes him but Kai doesn’t seem to like her but that’s not exactly true. •  Just Tonight (After Kai gets out of the 1994 Prison World , before the merge). Kai meets Reader at the Grill and they end up making out. Later on Reader leaves and Kai follows her in the dark streets of Mystic Falls. •  I Know You Like Me Reader and Kai always are cocky / tease each other , one day Reader is kidnapped and Kai comes to her rescue. •  Thunderstorms Reader is afraid of Thunderstorms and Kai sees that a big storm is coming and rushes to her place worried because of a blackout. •  Lessons (in the new Prison World) Reader gets sent into the Prison World with Kai. One day Kai comes back and finds out she had sneaked into his room while he was out of the house. •  No Touching - Part II - Part III (🔥🔥🔥) Kai get’s injured and get’s horny so Reader has to ‘take care’ of him. •  Hands to Myself Reader and Kai make a bet  on how long each of them can last without kissing / touching the other. •  Feed On Me Kai and Reader are best friends. After the transition Kai finds himself wanting to bite her , feed on her and … •  Friends With Benefits Reader and Kai are friends with benefits. •  Fuck Away The Pain (based on the song ‘’Fuck Away The Pain” by Divide The Day) •  Under The Stars Reader feels insecure because of all the supernatural girls throwing themselves at Kai and she doesn’t feel like she is good enough. •     Taking Back My Love 😈 (based on the song ‘Taking Back My Love’ by Enrique Iglesias & Ciera) •     Moonlight 🔥 Reader and Kai live together but are not a couple. One hot summer night he wakes up and she is not in the house. •     Miss me ?  🔥 Reader comes home finding Kai touching himself. •     That’s Kinda Hot 🔥 Reader squirts for the first time. •     Punishment   Kai sees Reader dancing with another guy and then punishes her. •     Having Fun?  Kai is on the phone and Reader is suuupppeeer horny , but he wont pay attention to her and she decides to take matters in her hands. •     New Things Reader gives Kai the head for the first time. •     Scars Reader is a werewolf who has been in a lot of fights and has some scars on her body , and she doesn’t want to sleep with Kai because of them. •     If You Want It - Take It  Reader is sent to the Prison World where Kai is but doesn’t know she is not alone until one day they meet accidentally and move in together @ the Salvatores. •    Bumpy Ride  Kai and Reader go on a road trip ; He teases reading right before they leave and then its a bumpy ride. •     Fast Friends Reader meets Kai at the Salvatore’s and he teases her with magic. •      Midnight Surprises 🔥 A sequel to ‘If You Want It - Take It’ •      Rule Breaker 😈 Kai has set rules when it comes to him and Reader doing things and Reader breaks one of them. •      Snowy Honeymoon 🔥 Reader is a witch and she gets married to Kai , seemingly neither of them liking the other but on their honeymoon something happens. •      Fireflies Kai and Reader go on a camping trip in the woods. •      Addicted to You [praise kink] 🔥 Kai and Reader are (fr)enemies with benefits , thought thats not exactly the truth.#iSuckAtSummaries😄 •      Chill 🔥 Reader is tired of Kai teasing her , saying she is too serious and needs to chill and after one of the parties in MF things … happen.😈 •      EX’s and OH’s [threesome smut] 🔥(ft. Kol Mikaelson) Kai and Reader are a couple and then out of the blue Kol (her ex) shows up after he comes back to life.😈 •      Party Surprises  🔥 Kai and Reader are having fun at the Salvatore’s with the MF gang and Kai gets horny and then things happen. [a bit of a sequel to ‘ Fast Friends ’] •      24/7  🔥 based on the song ‘24/7′ by David Correy   •      First Time Reader’s parents (leaders of the werewolf pack in Portland) and Kai’s parents arrange a marriage to grant peace between the supernaturals in Oregon. Both Kai and Reader are 17 years old at the time. On her 18th birthday something happens for the first time. •      More Of You  A dominant Kai. •    Awwh, am I being punished ?🔥 ‘Awhh, am I being punished. Cuz that’s kinda hot.’ // Kai screwes up and Reader punishes him. [a sequel to  IF YOU WANT IT TAKE IT  /  MIDNIGHT SURPRISES ] •      Handcuffs  Kai handcuffs himself to Reader to get her to admit she feels something for him, and thingshappen. •      More Than Friends Reader calls Kai to pick her up from a party and when he comes to get her, he is all grumpy while she is happy and horny. Then on the ride ‘home’ something happen. •      Distractions  🔥 Reader has a paper to finish, but Kai has other ideas about their afternoon together. •      The Best Birthday 🎂 It’s Reader’s birthday and after four years, she finally gets to spend it with Kai. •      Hunger  🔥 dom!kai   |  Kai goes away for a couple of days and when he comes back he finds Reader at a bar with some guy’s hands around her. •      Up in Flames Reader is talking on the phone and Kai forces her to stay on the phone while he goes down on her. (dom!kai/a little rough smut) •      Let’s Ruin the Friendship 🔥 Kai and Reader are roommates and secretly both of them have a crush on each other but neither of them does anything until one day something happens everything changes. •      Into My Bloodstream  🔥 It’s Halloween night. 🎃 There is a party in the woods by the old cemetery and Kai sees one of Reader’s games in action, not realizing how big of a turn on it would be for him. •      Walls Could Talk🔥 It has been a whole week of studying and exams for Reader, during which she and Kai hadn’t been together. •      You and Me🔥  It’s Reader and Kai’s anniversary and the celebrations start before the sun is up. •      Forbidden Love [slight smut] 🔥 Reader and Kai are college roommates; and they love each other but can’t be together. •      Crazier [smut] 🔥 Kai and Reader are spending the holidays at Reader’s parents’ place. •      New Beginnings [smut] 🎆❇✨ It’s New Years Eve; Kai and Reader are spending it together along with the Mystic Falls gang at the Salvatore Boarding House.

continues >>>

▪ M A S T E R L I S T – S M U T • 2018 ▪

[vortexlnfinitum]

ramblings about theo yeeee

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

- licherally the only reason i picked the name theodor is because its cartman’s middle name (theodore with an e tho) and i liked how it sounded😔 i just wanted an oc named theo. victor comes from victor frankenstein, another (now horror related!) name ive liked. wolfram is obvs reference to him being a werewolf, and since i had “german names” theme with him and his siblings, i took a lil help from googl to find german surname that had wolf in it lol.

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

- missing tail. feels “incomplete” as a werewolf, doesnt feel like he fits in with his family. its a bit shallow insecurity of his, but really its more than that to him. obvs not hideable.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

- prolly his arm muscles.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

- his kindness and his eyes :3c

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

- oh definitely more confident type.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

- uhhhhhhh, idk? not rly ig?

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

- does a lil growl when annoyed. awoo habit.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

- used to be more selfish, but things happened, had to take care of his family. is still a bit selfish, but not as much as he used to.

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?

- winter, dislikes hot weather. doesnt rly have any favorite holidays.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

- masc.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

- hurting his younger siblings, especially robin.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

- uhmmm uuuhhhh, s-sports??? IDK SDHFH.... he likes to be in shape.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

- light sleeper, wakes up easily. peaceful sleeper, but takes a lot of space.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

- oh boy. during his teenage years he rarely spent any time at home. mostly just slept there, but other than that, his family never really saw him. during college years he was roommates with his friends diego, markus and toby. partied a lot with diego and markus, much to toby’s annoyance. all in all theo loved living with his best friends for few years. after theo’s parents died, he now had to spent more time at home so his siblings would stay together and grow up together in the same houshold. this time was a bit hectic to theo, lots of bad stuff happened all at once, but he did his best for his siblings, since they had no one else to rely on. during this time he started to reconnect with his siblings more and was (and still is) very protective of them. one of his younger siblings started dating a vampire (theo has a...beef with vampires), and he was against it at first. hearing about the vampire’s family situation he, hesitantly, agreeded that he could stay at their house. actually grew up to love the vampire like his own younger siblings. they still bicker time to time. after all of his siblings moved out (when they were old enough), he started living with his husband and their two kids. loves all of them very dearly and wouldnt change his life to anything.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.

- (used to be) mr. dracula, sir. used to fight with the guy during their school years. also theo got dracula’s at-the-time gf to sleep with him. dracula wasnt happy about it. years later tho dracula married one of theo’s closest friends and nowdays they’re in better terms.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

- athletic! loves sports! any kind really! is especially keen on running and lifting. also likes soccer.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

- You betcha! and his dreams got true thanks to one special lizardman.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

- ive always pictured he was the one who stayed at his family’s house. it was a place he used to... well, hate is a strong word, dislike? After getting more responsible the place soon became very dear to him tho.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

- Used to get into physical fights during his teen/younger adult years. I’d say he’d be a good fighter, wouldnt give up easily, but has gotten his ass beaten few times too.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

- well i mean. he /is/ an animal lol. kind of. doesnt really care for animals.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

- losing people around him, especially his family/closest ones. actually lost his parents when he was 21, and he didnt take it well. it was hard time for him, didnt really have any time to mourn his parents. it was a touchy subject for him many years, if asked about it, hed avoid the question or try to change the subject.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

- been thinking about giving him a tattoo, idk just what kind of yet.... other than that, i dont think he has any?? unique physical features.... missing tail lol.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

- ah, troublemaker. the only subjects he was good at were sports and home economics. only teacher who he respected was the school’s headmaster, mauno.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

- theo talks about him very softly or very hornily. two moods. lots of talking about his body. gsdfg. Talking about how kind and hard working he is! how beautiful he is inside and out and how he could get lost in his eyes forever. and how good he is in bed lool.

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?

- parents’ death. affected him for many years, but got over it/accepted it.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

- hehe, inexperienced. theo finds it very cute, and teases him a lot about it.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?

- started a street fight or smthn hfhfs. lil vandalism mby.....

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

- mmm, pro athlete......

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

- litreally few time loops, no big deal.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

- hm.... hes not rly artsy guy.. his sister plays drums tho, hes very encouraging of that!

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

- I think he’d be capable of killing. I mean, he’d have the strength for it. Wouldnt kill anyone tho nor would he enjoy it.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

- dinner date! either going out or make something special together.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?

- hmm, younger years, maybe a bar. nowdays, idk! mindlessly going out for a jog mby!

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

- anything his husband makes.

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

- somewhat. sudden/unexpected deaths especially. if he got to choose, hed choose something peaceful and/or something thats not painful.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

- nope!

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

- eating mouth open. people interrupting him, but i think he sometimes is quilty of this too.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

- cloudy and cold. enjoys cold weather more.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

- He has somewhat of a mean looking face. And he was this! He was a bit mean, bad boy during his teen years. Family life made him kinder.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

- hmm!!! i need to think of this, i dont think he has any rn, but i defo need to give him some.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

- Spent so so many years avoiding them. When his youngest sister was born (when he was ~19) he started to reconnect with his family. And after his parents died, and he was left with five siblings to take care of, they became the most important thing in his life. hed do anything for them and he was super protective of them.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

- ^ not being the “bad son” he was, and actually got to spent his younger years with his parents/family.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

- Around his friends he’s more outgoing and kind of rebellious. playfights with them a lot. Around his siblings hes caring, responsible and kind. around his husband hes all of this.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

- oh yknow. he has gone through it already.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

- used to hide them. still kind of does, but is more open with his husband and oldest younger sibling.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

- nuzzles him in bed. bites him a lot....

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?

- yes! very outgoing! and he is more of a leader type!

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

- his friends lusting after his husband gshdfhd. Used to get very jealous when hearing about happy families.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

- Maybe something involving his parents... them not being proud of him or smthn... Losing his family members. if these nightmare’s were to affect his mood, he’d be grumpier.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

- he did. he just. blurted it out, really straightforward. he was panicking and it was the last thing he wanted to say before losing the crush tm, so he did. ended up NOT losing him! yay!

[akria23]

Real life Shipping

Since there was some confusion today I decided to elongate on my own personal shipping. I make shipping articles about my fictional ships and not really for rl ships but in the consciousness of ignorance that people view those things to I've decided to adjust that rule.

My personal stance on shipping rl people is the same as shipping fictional characters, its not who you ship, its how you ship. 

Shipping: I think it's important to understand what shipping is before one can understand RL shipping. So shipping is basically the supporting of two inviduals being together. Simple.

RL shipping: the supporting of two 'real' individual people being together.

That's it. There's no rules to that, no layout. It's just supporting. People show support in different ways. Myself I ship rl couples basically for the same reason I ship fictional ones with a slight difference - Shipping helps manage the disbelief I have of a thing called love. I easily get overwhelmed with sad things like death, pain, and the hurt we cause each other so to battle that I fill myself with a constant fountain of love. Problem is I barely have this surrounding my own life - only really close to my mother, I never like groups of friends, and I don't do romantic relationships. Which leaves me at outside resources - real people's relationships I've learned about and fictional relations. Even on more casual concepts, for example I love Beyoncé...I also ship Beyonce's relationship with Jay Z. Why? Because Beyoncé loves Jay Z. Because she chose that relationship, because she continues to choose that relationship. She fights for it, grows from it, it reveals portions of herself she'd never otherwise would've been introduced to. It inspired her. The shit was powerful enough to elevate a Queen - how can that not be fascinating?

I ship every ship for different reason but all for the same reason. Their outter workings make me see and feel something different about them, myself, and the emotion itself - but at it's core it's simply about this feeling that people claim keeps them together, makes them capable of both happiness and sadness. Theres nothing weird or wrong about supporting someones relationship, or even living vicariously through it, we all do that in some way. Its only important that one doesn’t lose themselves n in or think themselves to actually be a part of that foundation. A couple can allow you into a portion of their relationship (most of the couples I ship do this exact thing), but that does not mean we, the viewer, has a say in that relationship and as long as thats kept in the forefront, you’re good. I’ve had several people tell me that shipping real people is weird, and that cool although they should add in ‘for me’ in there, I normally pay these things no mind because people have this notion that how they see it is how everyone must see it. Or because they see this side there is no other side. 

I don’t mind the hate because I avoid it usually. I think RL shipping has this villain shadow thats undeserved and painted as more menacing than it actually usually is. Shipping fictional characters can go just as bad as shipping real people, I’ve seen people lose their shit on actors with faults that did not lie with them when it came to shipping characters. 

So who do I ship?

As far as real life ships go, like I said Beyonce and Jay are winners. I’ve been Team Real - with Jadine, for a hot minute now. I know a bunch of ya’ll have seen me reblog Demika post. One of the ships you’ll only ever see me talk about rarely is Yunjae. Its not because I’m ashamed of them or anything like that - theres just such complex land here. I have been a fan of DBSK for what feels like a decade now, and in loving DBSK I also fell for the YunJae ship. I honestly would not be in fandom today without this ship, I wouldn’t have as much fight and as much spirit. I tell you shipping a male/male pairing will get you more hate than not, but that fandom was so powerful, so beautiful. Its been so many years and even as we go into 2018, we’re still like - Fam! Fam! We’re still there. We’re gonna be YJ until the day we die, just like I’m DBSK and Jaejoong till death. Those are things that I will never regret because they’ve brought me so much happiness, taught me so many things about myself and introduced me to wonderful people. 

I ship them all for different reasons, they’re all different - very different pairings. But like fictional ships, they all have something that connects with something in me and makes me love them. I also hope that these vibes don’t just reside in romantic relationships. Often we want good things for friendships, or family relations. I think Tablo’s relationship with his daughter is sooo beautiful. I normally balk at father daughter relationships, but watching him with his daughter shows you so much of who he is that its hard to separate those things. I hope that he gets to grow extremely old and see his daughter grow to her fullest potential and realize all her dreams - simple because he wants to. ,y own relationship with my mother - I never want to see that end. I want to either die before my mother or at the same time as her, as unhealthy as that sounds. But the love of friendship is a major reason why groups are popular. People love the concept of friends making their dreams a reality together. Of closeness being a real and sustainable thing.