#them (in good faith): elaborate as much as you want! :D

[proosh]

im not rlly as knowledgable about history as much as you are, but i was just curious and wanted to ask if you believe if francis still believes in catholicism. and if so, would it cause problems in his relationship between him and gil or is it just a thing they ignore?

Anon my beloved this question made me laughscream when I got it, thank you for asking :D

So, unfortunately the historical relationship between the French and the Catholic Church is not something I'm wholly confident in speaking about other than a general commentary that it is... Incredibly messy at times and it leads to some very interesting character building that I'll elaborate on in a moment. Instead I'm going to tag in @grapeshxt who is the resident ouiaboo and will be able to give more context and background on a historical level <3

But as for Fran personally? I go back and forth on the exact nature of his faith but it's definitely not something that is present in the modern day, at least to observable 'This Man Is A Catholic' levels. His personal faith, to me, reads as being relatively "token" at times while being fervently fanatical at other times, but by the Enlightenment he definitely began to see religion as an opportunistic tool. His true faith has always been Himself Above All.

This suits Gilbert fine, who was one of the first converts to Protestantism in Europe and had his personal faith repeatedly shattered by some of the most horrific circumstances anyone has ever had to endure. The difference between them is that Gilbert is actively, and intentionally, an ideological antitheist (or 'misotheist', perhaps): If God exists, then it is the moral imperative to kill Him. This does cause some friction at times -- Gilbert is never not a provocateur and Francis tends to end up tripping over himself to play Devil's God's Advocate -- but it's really never that serious and they both enjoy frequent healthy debates over various religious aspects. They are, after all, possibly two of the most well-read former adherents to the faith, so why not?

But I'll leave it there to prevent this post from getting too long, I hope this covers what you were interested in, anon!! Thank you again for the ask, it was good fun getting my thoughts written down <3

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's MC Wardrobes: Jo Hunter, ILITW. Featuring some edits by me!

How this series goes: With each book, for a MC I'm invested in, I'll assess each of their in-game outfits. How much do I like or dislike the outfit? Is this something that suits my MC's style, or does it make me go "My MC would NOT wear/own this"? And for the outfits that my MC would not wear or own, how would I alter or replace them? I'm not going to use screenshots from the actual game because I can't be arsed. Also I want to use the different sprite expressions to express how my MC would feel about each outfit.

I like to think this is a good opportunity to elaborate on my MCs' dress styles, and show off some edits :D

Now it's time to give the spotlight to the wardrobe of a different MC from Evie! Let's see how the outfts of ILITW live up to her standards!

Ch 1: Pajamas

I like them, they suit her. Tank top and sweatpants are perfect for her.

Verdict: Part of Jo's wardrobe. Keep it as is.

Ch 1: "Paint it Black" Premium Starter Casual Outfit

This outfit is pretty stylish. But for Jo, it's probably a bit too much, as much as she loves a good rebellious look. Plus she would noooooot like that short skirt. With very very few exceptions, I don't think she'd care for dresses or skirts unless they were maxi or floor length and fairly loose.

Verdict: Not quite a part of Jo's wardrobe. Maybe save some of the jewelry pieces, but ditch the rest.

Ch 1: "Da Bomb" Free Starter Outfit

Sooooooo PB has this terrible habit that I really hate where whenever they give the f!version of a GOC character (usually MC) an outfit with a cool/tough-looking jacket, they almost always have to pair it with a crop top. Looking at you: Cas Harlow, ID MC, Channing Lowe, TH:M MC (double offender), HSS:CA MC, KND MC (even though she's genderlocked but still), Kaine Bell. I mean, it's pretty par for the course for GOC character outfits in general, but it's especially annoying in this particular case.

I wouldn't mind it so much if they did the same to the m!versions, but of course they don't because "wimin must show skin beecuze wimin sexee, must be sexee because wimin, but mehn can not show off thighs or hips or tummi beecuze mehn being sexee in ways that aren't about muscles and strength is ghey, har de har har har".

I know I already bitch about this issue a lot, but I bring it up because you can expect me to de-croptopify each of these sort of outfits whenever they come up.

Of the four starter outfits, this is the overall style I find the most fitting to Jo's character in the ILITW timeline: a tough but chill "cool guy". Luckily. not only does the cropped part not really show in the dialogue window, but I also don't have to spend diamonds on it. So I can in good faith use the outfit in the game.

Verdict: Only partly in Jo's wardrobe. Alter by lengthening the top, then use as her default casual outfit for ILITW.

Here's the outfit in Jo's style. This is her official casual outfit for ILITW.

Ch 1: "Sweater Weather" Free Starter Outfit

It's a decent outfit, but again, Jo does not like skirts that are higher than maxi-length and are form-fitting.

Even that aside, the overall style isn't quite for her.

Verdict: Not quite a part of Jo's wardrobe. Save the belt, but ditch the rest.

Ch 1: "Rock N' Roll High School" Starter Outfit

Everything about this one is awesome (the shirts especially), except for the short shorts. I think the tights do improve the look, but still, it's just not her thing. Guess PB decided if they couldn't have a croptoppified tough f!outfit, they'll make it shortshortsified instead lul.

Verdict: Only partly in Jo's wardrobe. Alter by replacing the shorts and tights (and save for ILB/ILW).

Here's what this outfit would look more like in Jo's style. This is what I think would be her casual outfit in ILB and ILW.

Ch 8: "All That Glitters" Premium Outfit for Britney's Party

The dress fabric? Very nice. The heart choker necklace? Cute, though it's not quite Jo's favorite style... but she probably wouldn't be against wearing it. The purse addition? It looks very stylish, and is a very unique touch for a Choices outfit too. The dress length? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Verdict: Only partly in Jo's wardrobe. Alter by turning the dress into a top and adding pants.

This is how the outfit would look in Jo's style. Though I think she'd also be fine with going to the party in her regular clothes like everyone else does.

Ch 12: "Lovely in Lace" Premium Homecoming Dress

Definitely not for her at all.

Verdict: Jo would not own this. Ditch it.

Ch 12: "Coming Up Roses" Premium Homecoming Dress

God I love that shade of pink. I think Jo would like it too. I do think the net-looking thing around the chest is a bit odd, but overall it's a neat dress. And it meets Jo's skirt criteria perfectly.

However, it feels a lot more like a prom dress rather than a homecoming dress. I'm gonna headcanon she wears this for senior prom. With also maybe a little addition...

Verdict: Part of Jo's wardrobe. Keep it as is (but save it for prom headcanons, and maybe add some form of blazer to it).

Although she wouldn't mind the dress as it is, she'd prefer it with a blazer. She likes wearing formal/suit jackets over long dresses.

Ch 12: "Casual-Tee" Free Homecoming Outfit

Apparently some people found this ugly. IDK why. I quite like this style of top, and I find it fairly fitting to Jo's preferred style for homecoming.

Verdict: Part of Jo's wardrobe. Keep it as is, and use as her official homecoming outfit.

BONUS ROUND: Unused Underwear

Definitely one of the better f!underwears PB has given us. Personally I like it, but Jo on the other hand isn't really a panties girl.

Verdict: Only partly in Jo's wardrobe. Alter by replacing the panties.

Here's the underwear in Jo's style.

ILB: Stealthy Hoodie

Unlike Evie's 2 outfits in HSS:CA, I don't think it's worth it to make a new post just for this one outfit Jo wears in ILB.

Anyways, I like this outfit, it's cool. Looks very cozy.

Verdict: Part of Jo's wardrobe. Keep it as is.

[fox-and-fischer]

Ramblings on Intention V.S. Application

*note: All of my posts are going to reflect my personal practice and my experiences; my UPG. Nothing I say is meant to be interpreted as a rule or a fact of magic, but instead as one perspective out of many.*

The discussion on the importance of intent V.S. the importance of the physical tools, actions, and ingredients is one that's been going on for years, it seems. For what it's worth, I think both matter, but I did think of what I think is a decent analogy for how I view it: today, we'll be looking at a painting.

For the sake of this post, intent/intention is going to be defined as the mental, focused aspect of the spell, while the applied elements are going to be things like tools, items, spoken elements, methods, etc.

When I was coming up as a witch, intent was THE buzzword to use. Everyone talked about setting intentions, acting with intent, putting intent into something, yada yada yada, but very few people ever actually defined what it was or described what that looked like.

Doing something with intent means that there is an intentionality to it: you are focused, present, and aware of where your mind is and you have it directed towards a certain goal.

Let's use use our painting analogy: you're trying to look at a painting. You want to study at the color, the texture, the form, the technique; you want this painting to affect you in some way. You want be intentional in how you're studying that painting.

If your mind is aloof, you won't take in the full picture. You may notice the main elements, but subtler details will be lost on you, and you may even forget it if new works were shown to you. If you were looking at that painting with intent, you would start to pick up on the nuances and may even find something that resonates with you. In this case, your intent is what allowed the painting to have any impact on you.

In the case of magic, it's much the same. If you mindlessly throw rosemary, thyme, salt, black pepper, and garlic into a mortar and pestle, grind it up, put that powder in a jar, and melt a candle over the jar lid, all you have made is a spice blend. Maybe good for cooking, but magically, it's null. If you took those same ingredients and invoked them, however, you could definitely have something magically influential, because you acted with intent and care. You imbued those elements with a power to impact the world through your ritual focus.

That said, intent isn't everything, either. You cannot be impacted by a painting if there is no painting there. Expanding on that, it's unlikely that you'd be impacted by a painting that has little to no relation to what you're looking for: if you're looking for a piece that would really resonate with grief and a crisis of faith, a painting of a basket of fruit or a horse grazing in a field are unlikely to be helpful to you.

From the perspective of magic, that means that your ingredients and other physical aspects need to be harmonious with your intent. If you want to perform a blessing for a good marriage, but have blood, rusted nails, lemons, and dragon's blood jasper as components, it's unlikely that that working will be successful.

I hope this makes sense, and I'm more than happy to elaborate on things or discuss in general with other people! Do you agree? Do you not agree? Tell me why; I'd love to chat! :D

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

hello i want to send some of those drawing prompts in but i know nothing about your ocs. would you mind telling me a little about them? general personality traits, theme song (if they had one), role, and whatever else you'd like :>

owo!!!!!! :D okay SO i have multiple different stories (many many many) but I'll elaborate on the two that are currently most in my mind (apart from the animal-centric one, #taira, which wouldn't work with those drawing prompts)

Um. Putting this under a read more because it's getting long. Gonna copy-paste the under-the-cut stuff into a reblog to my backup sideblog, tho, just in case. Trigger tags are for the second story, and only because they're mentioned as part of it but definitely not in detail.

#adira - the tag goes for both the story as a whole and the main character. in summary my beloved girl discovers the Bible (dystopia which has wiped out Christianity in that location and no internet so very localised an controlled) and has a crisis of faith while working everything out. that's the first book. it develops, but yeah. most of these characters start out in their early/mid teens. may be referencing later events because this series is likely to end up covering at minimum a decade of their lives to a greater or lesser degree.

Adira - has a temper (classic redhead), passionate and intense about many things, somewhat arrogant, very determined to figure out the truth of the world, somewhat a self insert (has ended up completely accidentally very visually similar to me xD ) . I don't know her theme song. She's the main character. I love her so much. I can talk endlessly about her but also I'm kinda mixed up atm with reading over past drafts and how she was portrayed then and how that'll change.

Tom - ALSO has a temper (ends up with significant anger issues/tendency to violence that require a lot of work to get over and nearly destroys his marriage), physically disabled (details to be worked out), has a bunch of health issues, significant self-hatred and attendant mental problems, tendency towards obsession, side B bi. Dunno if he has a theme song as I've found yet. He's a supporting/secondaryish/main character. Becomes one of Adira's closest friends and has a significant role in the first book. Has a nasty history that honestly has ended up more like grooming than anything else (he the victim). Is driven by determination and an iron will that will carry him almost beyond the point of endurance. I love this dude sm. Also he's possibly half Indian? Not certain yet tho. But yeah, I got a lot to figure out about his character. Incidentally he and Adira end up married (and yeah their relationship tips into toxic territory for a while before he gets pulled up short and forced to rebuild it; not entirely his fault but definitely mostly). Obviously I need to work on that bit too but since that's plenty beyond the first book I'm more working on setting up foreshadowing and his character so that he'll develop into that sort. (I love him but he Sure Has Issues.)

Emily - uhhhh she's not particularly fleshed out yet xD She's Adira's adopted sister, but they're not especially close anymore (they grow closer over the course of the books, and were friends as small children). I had an idea for her and then I kinda a) realised it didn't fit with the rest of it and b) yoinked the best bits of her character for a different story which I'll expand on once I've done with these ones xD Anyway, she is good and kind and sweet and gentle and I love her. Her only real faults are rather Jane-Bennet-ish at present, and also that she's too ready to agree unquestioningly with those she trusts. In later books she goes through a crisis of faith and quite literally nearly dies as a result (there's a fun bit in there where the other characters on the scene realise that they don't know if the danger she ended up in was accidental or deliberate (it was accidental) and others go through Many Emotions as a result; they're all in a hard spot at that point with varying mental challenges). I found a theme song for her once but I can't remember what it was. She's a side/secondary character.

Dorothy - Adira and Emily's mother. She's somewhat similar to her daughter, but without some of the emotion to drive her. Pretty cool and calculating, but with a great warmth underneath. She's repressed her emotion for years and years in a mildly abusive family situation (her husband Theo is horrible and I despise him). She helps Adira to figure things out, with the help of a friend she introduces Adira to (Mr Saunders). I feel like I don't have a great handle on her character specifically, just Vibes.

Mr Saunders - he's ended up being a main character of the short story collection I call on here #suh, because two of the five stories (including the longest, at 23k) deal with him as a main character. (That short story collection is to be self-published in ??? once I finish editing it. his stories are tagged #story:wcb and #story:preacher (tho I'm not sure the latter has anything tagged as yet.) Anyway I've got it professionally edited I just need to go through that and then one more round of edits and then it's formatting and printing timeee.) Anyway, he's old and slow and very very gentle and kind. Like Dorothy, there are depths to him. But he loves deeply and has been hurt and yet those hurts slip off him like water. I love him so much and wish I could meet him in real life. He's the only one at the start of the story who is already currently Christian (in secret tho, and his ending is... I have Thoughts on that), though he's introduced mid-story. He's v important to Adira's development.

Neil - this dude has been severely depressed for YEARS okay he's my darling even tho it's mostly his own fault. Originally heavily inspired by Loukanos from S. J. Knight's A Time To series (fantastic 10000/10 would recommend, especially the first book). He's a doctor. He's Emily's biological uncle, her only remaining biological family. He has terrible hurt in his past, and he dwells on it and grows rancid over it. Incredibly bitter and lashes out. Not sure when he's gonna be introduced in-story, I know by what time I need him in the book but I dunno when he'll be introduced. He also has trauma/resentment around Christianity that he has to work through. I need to flesh him out better.

Giselle - we only learn her name closer to the end, when she and the story part ways. Her tag is #the evil spychologist. Not a typo, and for a good reason. Anyway, I adore writing her scenes and interactions with Adira. Shows how much I love writing stories where the main character is aware that they're being manipulated. Her character as herself isn't particularly apparent (she may show up later in the books or she may not) she's more a front for the evil government.

Those are the only main characters I can think of at this instant, but other side characters include Rosalind (kind of love interest for Tom at one point, it's complicated), Elton (can i punch his face can i PLEASE punch his face), Merry (either Adira or Emily's friend from <extracurricular>), Sandra (Dorothy's friend w a family), Rick (the resident Good Atheist), [name] (I forgot her name rn but she was Adira's friend from IMI, becomes an archivist like Dorothy and later meets Adira again. looked conservative and quiet and happy and whatnot in school and when she meets her again she's sporting a smart blue haircut, incredible heels and long sleeves...), and not to forget the twins Adira and Tom unexpectedly adopt with zero notice in like the fifth book xD their names are Faith and Hope. There's also another Faith (hehe spoilers but I love her sm).

oh crumbs I forgot Tom's entire family. Anyway there are a bunch of them. Alison (mother), can't remember his dad's name, and the kidlings are in no particular order Norah, Elizabeth, Katy, Rufus, Andy (he's importanter), Rufus's twin uhhhh can't remember his name, I think that's all the kiddos. I named each of the girls after a character I love lol.

ANYWAY I think that's all the summary of that particular series. moving on to the other which has a much smaller cast and is very character-driven

#vaniah - this tag goes for both the focal character and the story. Basically a story of healing from trauma, partly using the vehicle of an arranged marriage to handle it. It's very strongly Christian, both main characters are Christians and their faith is the only thing that holds them through everything, especially Vaniah.

Vaniah - my boy is Traumatised. Partly this is his own fault/perceived as his fault bc he was pressured into things and feels later that he should've said no, and he deals with incredible guilt and self-hatred. It's an extremely dark story with a lot of dark themes (graphic on-page self harm at least once as well as description of scarring, lots of discussion of suicidal ideation, potential suicide attempt, mentions of alcoholism and a couple of instances of my boy being Quite Drunk, some level of mentions of adult themes and slightly suggestive content, though that especially I will handle as carefully as I'm able). However! there is light hearted stuff in there too and ultimately it's a story of hope and rising from rock bottom. Vaniah loves butterflies and will infodump for as long as anyone wants about them (and other things). I dont really know how to talk about his character because for most of it he's SO consumed with self hatred to a greater or lesser extent. I don't know, I'm not selling this very well xD Alexandra has done fanart of a scene from this story and I'm still obsessed with it.

Emily - I know she has the same name as in Adira's story. These were originally connected, and now she's different. I'm still using this name but that will change in time (possibly to Amelie? idk). She deals with an eating disorder which Vaniah also helps her with. She's sweet and very gentle but has strong feelings. Vaniah perceives her as very pure and innocent, though this in fact is not quite true. She's been through somewhat herself, and her hope and faith are more out of determination than come easy.

I could ramble on about these two forever but I have somewhat done so before probably (you could check the tags. the tag #emily does cover both Emilies tho)

Side characters include: Ben (Emily's brother), Camilla (his wife), [name] (Vaniah's sister), uhhhhh there are probbably more I'm forgetting rn

Please ask me for any details or clarification or ask about anything to do with anything! :D

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Hi, I just found your blog and it's wonderful!! I usually do this thing where I ask writers what their favorite things they have written is so that I can read those pieces. So, what pieces of yours would you recommend I should definitely read? Feel free to elaborate as much or as little as you want :))

First let me say hello and welcome to my blog—where the updates are infrequent, but usually (extremely) lengthy. ((way too lengthy, some might argue, but those people would be wrong lmao))

And secondly—well aren’t you sweet!

Not knowing what fandom brought you here I’m not exactly sure what to suggest, so I’ll just give you a bit from each one I currently write for.

The Batboys

Most of what I’ve written for these lads has been for my 12 Days of Batmas series. The Christmas series that has taken me 2+ years to write lmfaooo. Look, the 2020s have been ass so far, and inspiration likes to abandon me at years end, but anyways! Most fills are a HC/ficlet combo of varying lengths. It’s an all-around fun read, I think, and there’s a lot there despite the fact that I’ve yet to finish it.

As far as individual works go, Maybe (Love, Once Lost) is definitely a favorite despite the mental toll it took on me lol. I love reading angst and H/C fics, but writing them is… an experience. Probably wouldn’t have been so bad, but I was also writing like three other angsty pieces (they were fills for an event and I wanted to get them done ASAP) so I was already feeling the strain. The writing process gave me a lot of grief, but looking back on it now I’m p. happy with the way it turned out.

And as a palate cleanser for all that pain, Damian’s installment in the Autumn’s Arrival series is a cute little read (littlebeing used loosely here since I have a penchant for wordiness, as you can probably tell lmao).

HQ

In recent years Haikyuu!has become my main fandom, and I’m okay with that lol. As for works—honestly anything I write for Asahi is an instant favorite because he’s the loml, my sunshine, my Big Texas Cinnamon Roll lol. But if I had to pick my current favorite it’d probably be my latest piece for him, It’s so Lovely, Loving You; it’s a songfic based around one of my favorite songs by one of my all-time favorite artist. It was very relaxing to write, despite the lil dash of angst in the middle.

As for the rest of the fandom… The Autumn’s Arrival series is mostly comprised of HQ boys at current, despite the fact that it’s technically multi-fandom lol. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it really is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written in general. A lot of people have described those fics as warm hugs, and honestly that’s all I ever wanted lol. They’re v. much meant to be comfort fics, so I’m happy to know that I’ve been able to consistently hit my mark. ((also writing this has reminded me that I need to update my m.list lol))

And lastly if you’re looking for really long, drawn out character study type deals, the Love You Like I Do series is a pretty interesting read, if I do say so myself. It’s currently on hiatus for the for foreseeable future, tho at current I’ve covered all of Karasuno’s first and third years (well aside from Kiyoko as I’m including her with the team’s management).

MHA

I haven’t written much for this fandom—a far as published works go, anyways. I’ve got a lot of WIPs, but god only knows when they’ll be released. At current there’s only the love letters written for my 2021 Valentine’s Day event (characters included are Eraserhead, Present Mic, and Hawks) and the NSFW ABCs written for Dabi (please excuse the look of this one; I’ve yet to go back and give it a facelift lol). Despite the fact that it was my first time writing for any of them, the letters were super fun to write as all of the guys are comfort characters for me. The ABCs were also a really fun write because I love Dabi’s trifling ass so damn much. I just love the dude’s energy, and what that says about me I do not rightly know lmao…

RDR

Most of what I’ve written for my cowbabies is over on my main blog (please ignore the state of that m.list, it still needs to be edited), but it’s all all NSFW so if that’s not your thing feel free to ignore that lol. (it’s also Javier-centric, with one random Strauss HC thrown in for texture and flavor lol)

On a more wholesome note, I did installments for all of the van der Linde gang in that VDE that I mentioned before. Sadly, my favorites are also some of the most overlooked, so I’m more than happy to give them a shout out now.

The ladies: Abigail | Molly | Susan | Tilly The gents: Kieran | Strauss | Swanson | Trelawny

Unsurprisingly those listed aren’t exactly the fandom’s darlings, so it isn’t a surprise that they didn’t get much attention, but it’s still lowkey disappointing nonetheless.

That said, don’t feel the need to read them—or anything else I’ve listed—if you’re not that way inclined! At the end of the day fan fics (and fandom as a whole) are meant to be a form of enjoyable escapism—if more people remembered that and acted accordingly this damned hellsite would be a far chiller place, but ever as always I digress…

Alright, I’ve prattled on way longer that I probably should have, but such is my way lol. Thanks for taking the time to reach out, I really do appreciate it!! And do so I hope you enjoy your stay on my blog 💖

[astrologyandlife]

the complete guide to astrology - revised

i. introduction

what is astrology? how can we use it to improve our lives? how do we go about studying a seemingly complex subject with such a large body of literature? in this post, i hope to give you guys a solid idea of the basics while providing resources for further reading and learning, curated by yours truly.

to start, astrology is defined as "the divination of the supposed influences of the stars and planets on human affairs and terrestrial events by their positions and aspects" (source). its primary use in modern times is as a tool of self-discovery. this is done through a natal chart, which is outlined below.

of course, astrology is used for many other things, ranging from examining relationships, to predicting the outcome of future events, to even locating lost objects. there are many branches of astrology that each have their own set of rules and methods for interpretation of the chart. i will go into more detail about some of these other branches soon. however, all astrology uses the same framework. so what is that?

***before i go further, i want to note that this guide contains a comprehensive resources section, section v, which contains a lot of helpful supplementary information such as cafeastrology's article on understanding the astrological chart wheel, a full glossary of astrological terms, and various subjects not explicitly defined or covered in-depth in this guide like retrograde planets and interceptions.***

now onto the guide! :-)

ii. the framework

perhaps the key piece of astrology is the natal chart:

the natal chart is a visual representation of where the celestial bodies were at the time of birth. it seems complex at first glance, but it is possible to break it down to better understand it. in this section, i will elaborate on four components that come together to form the picture. These are the zodiac signs (inner ring), planets (around the ring), aspects (lines in the middle), and houses (numbers on the outer ring).

zodiac signs

in astrology, the zodiac signs are the most essential, core pieces of the puzzle. this is because they represent traits or energies. they are modes of expression. aries: cardinal + fire, enthusiastic, passionate, impatient, childlike, leader, hotheaded, dynamic, quick to react, competitive, impulsive, direct, outgoing, extroverted, positive. ruled by mars and the first house. taurus: fixed + earth, stubborn, patient, strong-willed, down-to-earth, hard workers, sensual, persevering, materialistic, focused, strong, realistic, enduring, habitual, hard to anger, love of nature. ruled by venus and the second house. gemini: mutable + air, chatty, social butterflies, adaptable, flexible, clever, witty, sarcastic, curious, scattered, lighthearted, changeable, multitaskers, jack-of-all-trades, smart, flighty. ruled by mercury and the third house. cancer: cardinal + water, emotional, sensitive, gentle, intuitive, motherly, moody, defensive, protective, caring, empathetic, imaginative, sentimental, passive, introverted, shy, homebody. ruled by the moon and the fourth house. leo: fixed + fire, confident, dramatic, theatrical, warm, generous, supportive, strong-willed, loyal, honest, authentic, loves pleasure, big personality, self-centered, courageous, magnetic, expressive, assertive. ruled by the sun and the fifth house. virgo: mutable + earth, methodical, serious, perfectionist, critical, practical, detail-oriented, analytical, competent, helpful, enjoys service, reserved, sensible, down-to-earth, intellectual. ruled by mercury and the sixth house. libra: cardinal + air, outgoing, friendly, agreeable, diplomatic, avoids conflict, polite, charming, refined, pacifistic, tolerant, craves connection, indecisive, romantic, artistic, hesitant, fair, good conversationalist, gossip. ruled by venus and the seventh house. scorpio: fixed + water, secretive, possessive, introverted, honest, genuine, intense, independent, lone wolf type, intuitive, analytical, persistent, passionate, ambitious, proud, committed, clever, competitive. ruled by pluto and the eighth house. sagittarius: mutable + fire, optimistic, positive, big picture thinkers, extroverted, jovial, loves adventure, blunt, straightforward, open-minded, future-oriented, faithful, independent, energetic, needs freedom. ruled by jupiter and the ninth house. capricorn: cardinal + earth, serious, disciplined, mature, takes responsibility, hard-working, thoughtful, traditional, dry sense of humor, objective, independent, ambitious, reliable, patient. ruled by saturn and the tenth house. aquarius: fixed + air, progressive, eccentric, independent, needs freedom, detached, intellectual, authentic, accepting, open-minded, non-judgemental, outgoing, determined, humanitarian, future-oriented. ruled by uranus and the eleventh house. pisces: artistic, sensitive, distant look, compassionate, empathetic, escapist, intuitive, heart over head, understanding, introspective, needs alone time, soft-spoken, emotional, imaginative, faithful, romantic, fluid, adaptable. ruled by neptune and the twelfth house.

planets

the planets give direction to the traits expressed by the zodiac signs. this direction comes in the form of facets of our personalities. personal/"inner" planets sun: ego, general personality, vitality, focus, father figure. domicile=leo / detriment=aquarius / exalted=aries / fall=libra moon: emotions, intuitions, gut reactions, instincts, needs, mother figure. domicile=cancer / detriment=capricorn / exalted=taurus / fall=scorpio mercury: communication, mental abilities, information processing. domicile=gemini or virgo / detriment=sagittarius or pisces / exalted=virgo / fall=pisces venus: romance, personal style, love style, attraction, taste. domicile=taurus or libra / detriment=scorpio or aries / exalted=pisces / fall=virgo mars: drive, motivations, anger, physical attraction, physical activity. domicile=aries/ detriment=libra/ exalted=capricorn / fall=cancer

impersonal/"outer" planets jupiter: expansion + growth, talents, opportunities, luck. domicile=sagittarius / detriment=gemini / exalted=cancer / fall=capricorn saturn: fears, where we feel repressed/restricted, where we must learn and become disciplined. domicile=capricorn/ detriment=cancer/ exalted=libra / fall=aries uranus: individuality, eccentric/uniqueness, suddenness, technology. domicile=aquarius / detriment=leo / exalted=scorpio / fall=taurus neptune: confusion, blurred lines, lack of boundaries, deception, sacrifice, dreams. domicile=pisces / detriment=virgo / exalted=cancer / fall=capricorn pluto: transformation, raw power, death, secrets. domicile=scorpio / detriment=taurus / exalted=aquarius / fall=leo

planets in their domicile or exalted sign are said to be strong, while planets in their detriment or fall sign are weak. stronger planets express themselves much more naturally. weaker planets can bring problems into the individual's life, especially if poorly aspected.

aspects

the next step is the aspects, which is the interaction between these facets of our personality and how easily we express them. positive aspects are marked green, negative are marked red. conjunction (0°): the unification of two planets that allows their energies to merge and be expressed as one. square (90°): tension between two planets that creates conflict or patterns of avoidance. opposition (180°): tension between two planets that results in conflict or patterns of projection. quincunx (150°): completely different energies that are unable to be integrated or properly managed. trine (120°): two planets that mesh well together, often manifesting as a talent or skill within the individual. sextile (60°): two planets with energy so similar they are seamlessly and effortlessly expressed together.

houses

finally, the houses represent the stage where all of this expression occurs in our external life. first (ascendant, ASC): first impressions, physical appearance, the vibe we give off, our view/philosophy of life. second: our values, sense of self-worth and confidence, money, physical possessions. third: communication style, early education, siblings, neighbors and neighborhood, thinking patterns, short trips. fourth (imum coeli, IC): home, family, the house, early life + childhood, background, roots, memories, father figure. fifth: self-expression, creativity, hobbies, interests, children, pleasure, short-term relationships. sixth: physical health, daily routine, coworkers, job, pets, service to others. seventh (descendant, DSC): marriage, spouse, long-term relationships, other people. eighth: shared resources, inheritances, death, transformation, crisis, hidden things. ninth: higher education, travel, foreign/distant places, diversity, expansion and growth. tenth (midheaven, MC): career, reputation, online persona, success, goals for the future, mother figure. eleventh: groups and organizations, the wider collective, our friend group, wishes and aspirations. twelfth: losses, grief and sorrow, subconscious or unconscious things, confusion, lack of boundaries, sacrifice.

iii. the interpretation process + notes

to interpret a natal chart, i have a specific process that i utilize. i will outline it in this section, giving notes along the way where i see fit. there are many ways of interpreting charts, however, so use this more as a guide than a hard and fast rule.

✨the process ✨

look at the chart as a whole, taking notice of: a. planets clustered together in one sign/house (note: 3+ planets in a house is called a stellium) b. planets "sitting on/"conjunct the angles (1st, 4th, 7th, or 10th) c. lone planets that are just sitting by themselves d. completely empty houses e. major aspect patterns, such as the t-square, grand trine, etc.

next, look at the sign of the ascendant and determine the chart ruler a. examine the condition of both, such as major aspects (aspects of 5° or less)

check out the sun's sign, house, and major aspects

do the same for the moon, and consider the relationship it has to the sun

next, check out the sign, house, and major aspects of the three other personal planets

look at the three other angles: the IC, DSC, and MC to determine their condition

look at the house and any major aspects to personal planets for the outer planets

find the lord of any empty houses and determine what house it sits in, as well as its condition there

finally, any asteroids or minor bodies of interest a. typically these only influence the individual if they make an aspect to the personal planets or angles, like outer planets

some other things to take into account: which element/planet/sign is dominant in the chart, where the ruler of each house sits, are there planets at 0° or 29°, degree theory, midpoints, and planets in retrograde.

iv. other chart types

so far, i've exclusively been talking about the natal chart. however, there are several chart types with other purposes ranging from examining the compatibility of two people, to predicting what might occur in the year ahead, to even answering questions. i'll give a brief run-down of some of them here:

solar return: a chart drawn for the exact moment the sun returns to the sign and degree it was at when you were born. it is said to represent what will occur in the year ahead.

synastry: this chart examines the relationship between two people by seeing how both of their charts interact with each other. it is a representation of how they affect each other.

composite: like the synastry chart, a composite looks at the relationship between two people. it does this by creating a chart of the midpoints between the placements of their charts. it is a representation of the relationship itself and what it's like.

progressed: a chart that shows how a person's personality and life circumstances change over time, calculated by adding one day to your birthday for every year of your life.

draconic: a chart that supposedly represents your "true nature," which is who you were before your life experiences. it works by setting the north node to aries and adjusting every other placement accordingly.

transit: this is simply a chart of what the sky looks like on any given day. this can be compared to a natal chart to see what influences are acting on an individual or to examine long-term trends.

these are by no means all of the chart types, or even the most important, but they are the most common ones you will see discussed here. furthermore, every chart type uses the same framework and many of the same rules in regards to interpretation, making them extremely valuable tools to have in your toolset!

v. resources

below here is a list of websites, articles, tools, etc. that are extremely helpful for learning astrology. every single resource in this list is 100% approved by me, and i have used or read through all of them myself, many of which i still refer back to now. there are also resources that go more in-depth about some of the topics mentioned in this guide, if you're confused or want to know more. feel free to take a peek!

websites a. https://advanced-astrology.com/ b. http://astrologyking.com/ c. https://astromatrix.org/ d. https://www.astro-seek.com/ e. https://www.alwaysastrology.com/index.html f. http://www.thedarkpixieastrology.com/ g. https://cafeastrology.com/ h. https://www.astrology.com/learn i. https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/index.php j. http://www.astrologersforum.com/forum/index.php

calculators a. https://www.astrotheme.com/horoscope_chart_sign_ascendant.php b. https://www.astro.com/cgi/genchart.cgi c. https://astro.cafeastrology.com/natal.php d. https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/birth-chart-horoscope-online e. https://astro-charts.com/tools/new/birthchart/

blogs a. @astrologymarina b. @astraltwelve c. @astrolovecosmos d. @twelvehousemoon e. @ms-m-astrologer f. @saintzjenx

faq/specific resources/what's on my bookmarks bar a. A glossary of astrology-related terms b. how fast do the planets move through the signs? c. what is degree theory? d. which signs square and oppose each other? e. how do you find your dominant sign/planet/etc? f. astrology 101 by astrologymarina g. what are retrogrades? h. a brief interpretation for every planet in every sign i. a complete ephemeris up to the 22nd century j. what are interceptions? k. what are the 29th and 0 degree? l. how to read the chart wheel?

books a. the only astrology book you'll ever need, joanne martine woolfolk b. chart interpretation handbook, stephen arroyo c. the twelve houses, howard sasportas d. aspects in astrology, sue thompkins e. discover the aspect pattern in your birth chart: a comprehensive guide, glenn mitchell f. the art of forecasting using solar return charts, anthony louis g. the astrology of family dynamics, erin sullivan h. midpoints: identify and integrate midpoints into horoscope synthesis, don mcbroom i. retrograde planets: traversing the inner landscape, erin sullivan

vi. final notes

you did it! this is the end of my revised guide to astrology, and hopefully this has been helpful for you to understand the basic workings of the practice. astrology can be really rewarding and fascinating, and even after eight years i still come across topics that i've never heard about!

as always, my inbox is open for any questions you may have. if anything is unclear or you think of ways to improve this guide, feel free to tell me as well. thanks for sticking with me, folks!

[imasimpforshanks]

Hello author! Can I ask for K and L for Sanji/Ace please. (Fluff) thankyou!

Fluff Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hiya!!!! Here is ace’s fluff alphabet! 💗I know you only asked for K & L but I hate only answering a few letters of these at a time LMAO 💀ALSOOOOO I’m going to Sanjis at some point too, because I got a lot more angst asks than fluff so yahhhh! Anywayssss hope you enjoy<3333

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

Ace absolutely loves to pull pranks on you AND he loves to pull pranks with you. Once a month you actually have an all-out prank war against one another where even the crew fear that they will be caught in the middle of it.

Oh, and true to his character, the two of you spend a lot of time eating food together. It’s very difficult for any normal human being to eat anything close to the amount Ace eats, so more often than not, it’s you staring at him in awe while he scoffs down another plate of food.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

He finds your smile to be one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen, it’s even more beautiful when the smile is directed at him. The moment you smile at him everything else in the world seems to melt away. Ace does everything in his power to bring a smile to your face, because when you smile everything else seems to fall into place. (SO CLICHÉ I KNOW BUT IT’S TRUE!)

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

His go to method of comfort is cuddles. He just wraps his arms around you and gives you lots of forehead kisses. He’ll say all these kind things about you and ask what you need from him. If you’re not sure, or if you don’t feel like talking, he’ll patiently wait until you’re ready to talk.

D-Dreams (how do they picture they future with their s/o?)

In every possible future he envisions, you are there. To Ace, there is no future unless you are with him. It’ll be the two of you living life to the absolute fullest, taking it day-by-day.

He isn’t too keen on having (biological) children as he doesn’t want them to be burdened with the blood of Gol D. Roger.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

He tends to take the more dominant role in the relationship. It’s just his natural personality that seeps through, it’s truly not intentional. He’s confident and loud so there’s not really any way you can’t not listen to him. However, if you were to voice any opinions or comments, you’ve got all his attention!

F-Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?)

I talk about his fights with his s/o a little in his angst alphabet. Here it is again!

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

Ace felt unloved and unwanted by the world growing up (save for Luffy and Sabo, oh and Dadan), so it was quite the change to experience the unconditional love you provided him. He will forever be grateful for what you have done for him, in fact, he’s so grateful about it that he can never shut up about it! Much like how he gushes about his ‘stupid kid brother’ to the Whitebeard Pirates, Ace will also never shut up about you to anyone he talks to. Your name somehow always makes its way into any conversation he has.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

The only secret he kept from you was that he was the son of the Pirate King. He was scared that once you knew, you would view him differently. But over time he was able to see that that would never be the case. So, after telling you that, he never kept anything from you ever again. Ace actually finds sharing secrets with you to be a weight off his shoulders.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

You were another person that was able to show Ace he is worthy of being loved. It’s an insecurity of his that will probably never go away, but that’s okay because you’re more than happy to remind him daily.

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

I talked about Ace’s jealousy in his angst alphabet! But I’ll go over it again here!

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?)

I feel as though I may give Ace a little too much credit when it comes to this because I want to think that he’d be one of those amazing kissers, like he just has a knack for it. But in reality, that probably wouldn’t be the case.

Ace is more likely to be quite an overexcited kisser. He’s keen and passionate, that’s for sure. But with your first kiss, he’s a little too keen and tries to move way to fast. After some calming down and a little bit of a giggle to one other he’s in the zone.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

The two of you are just talking and he’s, unsurprisingly, brought up his brother, Luffy. What is surprising however, is when he tells you how badly he wants you guys to meet each other. Your first reaction was “yeah that stands to reason he wants all of us to meet luffy” but before you could say anything Ace is already going on like “yeah, I just can’t wait to have the two people I love most in the world meet. It’d be real cool” (or something along those lines and probably a little less cheesy LMAO). You just stare at him like “heh?” and he stares at you like “uhhhh… yeah I said what I said?”

M-Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?)

Heck yeah, this dude wants to get married! Getting to show you off to everyone? Yes please! Getting to tell you in front of everyone he knows just how much he loves you? BIG YES. Oh, AND a big ass party afterwards? THIS DUDE CANNOT WAIT! Being able to marry you is one of his dreams, and he’s actually been thinking about since the first date you guys went on.

But, he’s really struggling with how to propose to you. He’s gone through every cliché in the book. A ring at the bottom of your glass, in your food, a carriage ride etc. They’re all great ideas but he doesn’t think they suit the dynamic of your relationship. So, he’s going to enlist the help of Whitebeard Pirates and create an elaborate prank (that has a 50/50 chance of going wrong but also still working out exactly as he wanted).

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

He likes to call you hot stuff or baby. Initially, these nicknames resulted in a lot of teasing from the other whitebeard pirates but neither of you cared.

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

Whitebeard and a few of the other division commanders are the first to notice. I mean, it’s not that hard… He is constantly bringing you up in every conversation (if you’re not there) and if you are there, they can’t even get his attention for a moment. You have his undivided attention! It isn’t until Marco or someone says “You’re down baddddd, Ace” that he’s like HUH?

P-PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

Ace loves PDA. He is all about kissing you in front of everyone else. So much so that you constantly get told to “get a room!”. Ace loves to show off his relationship with you to the whole wide world. He’s incredibly proud to have found someone that loves him wholeheartedly.

Q-Quirk (some random ability they have that is beneficial in a relationship?)

Well, thanks to his devil fruit, his body temperature tends to run pretty warm, so you have your own personal heater.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

Ace is romantic in his own way, that’s for sure. He expresses his love through teasing and jokes, but also through quality time. He’s big on that. Making sure all his attention is on you so you know just how much he loves you.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

He has so much faith in your ability to achieve your goals. He wants to be able to help you in any way he can, so if you come to him and ask for help, he would be absolutely ecstatic! Ace just wants to be a part of your success story (in the best way possible, I know some people only want to because then they get credited but that’s not why ace wants to do it at all! Nothing makes Ace happier than seeing those he loves achieve their goals).

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

Your relationship is already spiced out enough as it is. He’s got an extremely mischievous personality so is constantly getting up to god knows what, and some how always manages to drag you into it. If anything, your relationship could do with a little more routine (but you both are extremely happy with the way it is).

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

Ace is an extremely empathetic individual. He understands a lot more than most, just how awful negative emotions can be (whether that’s sadness, insecurity, anger etc.). So he is quick to your aid whenever something seems to wrong.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

All relationships in Ace’s life are extremely important to him. He even values them more than his own life. Your relationship is no exception. You’ve shown him love, and accepted him for who he truly is, so there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you and he makes that very clear every single day.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

He knows all your food orders off by heart. And when I say all your food orders, I mean ALL of them. He knows your food orders for each of your different moods. He memorised them pretty quickly so that he could surprise you with food regardless of your mood.

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

He is an extremely affectionate individual. Ace is practically attached to your hip at every possible moment. An arm will always be thrown around your waist or shoulders, and he literally wants to spend all day smothering you in kisses. He’s shameless when it comes to affection.

Y-Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

He copes by talking about you to EVERYONE. He tells the crew stories about you (mind you these are stories not only that they’ve heard multiple times, but they were also there to witness themselves). It gets to the point where even Whitebeard is like “ya know what Ace, you can go visit them.”

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

As I said previously, all relationships in Ace’s life are extremely important to him. We saw what lengths he was willing to go to when Thatch was killed by Blackbeard, and you would be no different. In fact, Ace would be willing to do all of that and so much more, if it was for you.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Heyyyy! SO as a local comteologist- okay sorry lmao 😂 I was wondering! Could you maybe write about an mc that is very affectionate? Because I am like that and I would give my ALL and just everything for someone I love. So, maybe the guys are pretending to be asleep and they hear mc admitting her undying love for them? I don't want to burden you! So, I think Will, Jean, Leo and Napoleon would be fine :D

I love you! And please take care of your self cuz corona is a hondje- sorry lmao

Have all of my uwus my lovely, I relate HIGHKEY I’m ungodly affectionate irl~

You take care of yourself too! Tyty 💖💖💖 nothing to apologize for I love a good clowning, esp if Theo gets clowned in the process 😂😂

And never apologize for using my esteemed title I will die on this Comte-thirsting hill (☆｀• ω •´)ｂ

I hope these attempts bring you joy! 

William Shookspeare:

Our v creative playwright boy was just vibin’. He had a long day at the (obnoxious thespian voice) theater and while he loves the art with all of his being, the man is t i r e d. MC was late to bed and while he prefers to wait for her to join him no he is not horny perish the thought he just started dozing off from the exhaustion. He’s not sure when the lights go out, but he feels an immeasurable warmth around him. Faintly, he can make out a voice murmured at his ear, a gentle hand running through his hair. (I s2g if this bih says “Puck?” I’m gonna smack him for MC)

“Had a long day, hm?” He’s only just coming to, and can’t muster the energy to reply or open his eyes. “I’m sure this next performance will be the best one yet! You surprise me every day, Will...”

“Try not to work yourself too hard, sweetheart. Your work may one day be the world’s greatest marvel.”

He wasn’t sure what it was about the words that made his lips tremble. Was it the praise that always seemed to flow forth at a moment’s notice, the real kind he was so unaccustomed to? Or was it that unshakeable calm; her faith in him unmoved by any fear or doubt--the kind that made him wonder briefly if she was dull all those years ago. Now he was just thankful it was still here, no matter how undeserving he may be.

“But you will always be my entire world, my greatest marvel. I love you too much to let the world have you.”

Jeanne D’Arc (REEEEEE MY GOODEST BOY OTL):

It was early one morning, frost blossoming in fractals along the transparent surface of the bedside window. An inevitable, biting chill lingers in the room while the sun is fighting to climb past the horizon, its time so limited in these winter months. She watches as the light casts a gentle gray over the bare walls--something she promised to remedy soon--so reminiscent of how he appeared to her at first. Pure and bright, but still fighting off a darkness she knew so little about.

The thought made her draw him to her protectively, careful not to wake him up as she tucked him close to her heart. He was so warm, even despite the frigid weather. A product of his time as a soldier? She was never sure, but she was always touched by how often he used that warmth in service to her. 

She remembered earlier the other day, when she returned home from some grocery shopping with Sebas. Concern was overflowing from his stoic face--it was there if you knew where to look for it; his eyes a little more narrow, the line of his mouth closer to a frown. All at once his hands were reaching for hers, relieving her of whatever she allowed him to carry while walking into the kitchen alongside her. When Sebas stepped out again he took her hands in his, pressing them along his face. She had cried out, knowing her hands were freezing--it had to be painful to warm them in such a way. But he only smiled that beautiful smile to quell her distress, the one that always took her breath away, and insisted he could do no less.

“The same goes for me too, though, Jeanne.” she looked at the fierce mark on his face, so unworthy of someone so gentle. She resisted every urge to soothe her fingers across it, loathe to wake him up. She didn’t notice the fingers that twitched at her hip, his signs of stirring subtle. “Whenever you need me, whenever you can’t think of a good reason to walk out of this room. All you need to do is find me, okay? I love you so, so much.”

Leonardo Da Binchi (no i will not apologize. he deserves to be clowned, glorious moron):

Once again her lover was gloriously strewn across the library floor, arms crossed and fast asleep. An exasperated smile found her face at the sight. Perhaps it would have been a surprise at first, but nowadays she would just roll her eyes and walk past. Sometimes, if she was feeling forlorn or a little reckless, she would climb into his lap just as he was. He seemed to enjoy being woken up that way though, so of course she couldn’t give him the satisfaction every time; a woman likes to change things up. And sometimes she was too busy to spare the time.

Even so, the slowly dimming shadows under his eyes were a relief to see. While the celebration of his birthday could only be a blessing, she knew what a double-edged blade it could be. It invoked so many wounds that hadn’t yet healed. While she wished he would share that burden with her--however heavy it may be--she slapped her own cheeks lightly at the impatient thought. Give him time...

“I know you think you have to carry everything alone. And in some ways, it’s something I admire so much about you--the way you always seem to know just how to move forward. Like nothing can shake you.”

She leaned down close to him, bracing herself against the bookshelf as she pressed a kiss gently against his temple. “But know that whenever you find yourself wavering, or even if you just need a place to rest, I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. I love you so much more than you think, Leonardo...”

She stopped herself before she could finish the thought, knowing it wasn’t what he wanted to hear: “more than my own life.”

Napoleon Bonaparte (oh my little lion man...):

They were spending a nice afternoon in the courtyard, as a lovey-dovey couple do, and they went under the veranda to find some relief from the midday sun. Surprising literally no one, our sweet emperor started to doze after some yummy tea time snackies--drifting asleep against MC’s shoulder. She adjusted a bit to change the angle of the lean, making sure he wasn’t putting too much pressure on his neck. Little puffs of air made her bangs flutter as he breathed low and even, and she smiled.

He’d had a guard jobs back to back recently, which meant precious little time to spend with him. Restless and quieter than usual, she had suggested a little stroll together around the courtyard; admiring the flowers and telling him about the books she’d been reading to fill the silence of those lonely nights. It wasn’t long before he started to smile more, snickering when she gave ludicrous summaries of the characters and plot. 

Early that morning she had taken the time to make perfect tea time sweets, fully anticipating--and hoping--it would encourage him to rest. So often he would be worried about her missing out on things or trying to plan more elaborate dates, but if she were honest she didn’t care much for extravagance or constant excitement. These tender moments where he could trust her (and the mansion’s perimeter) enough to fall fast asleep, no nightmares in sight, was enough to fill her heart with so much joy.

“I know you can’t help but want to do everything you can for the people around you; protecting and serving others is your life. I never want to be a reason you feel you need to stop doing that.” She murmured in the silence, playing with the buttons on his coat with a faint smile. “But even so, remember you always have a home to return to. More than that, no matter how powerful or skilled; you’re also one man. A man I love more than anything else in this world, a man I always want by my side--if he’ll have me, that is.”

She took the hand that was entwined with her own, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of his palm as his lashes trembled. “I love you, Leon. Whether I see you every moment of every day, or only in stolen moments between assignments. That will never change. There will be times where you belong to the whole world, but this” she placed a hand gently over his heart “will always belong to me. Let it lead you home to me, sweetheart.”

And because I can’t help myself, I added Comte, Mozart and Vincent:

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (he’s the melody I can’t get out of my head DON’T LOOK AT ME):

Despite all of his promises to quit his bad habits, she opened the door later that evening to find him fast asleep against the covered keys of the piano. His shock of white hair was nestled comfortably against his arms, piled together as a makeshift pillow. The sight made her think of those long, long nights in college; thinking you’d close your eyes for a minute--only to be adrift in seconds. 

Smiling wryly, she reached into a nearby closet to retrieve a blanket before draping it gently across his shoulders. Torn between waking him up and guiding him to bed or leaving him be, she decided on the latter. She got the feeling that waking him up would only mean “a few more minor edits” to the composition he was working on, leaving sleep an afterthought. While she knew he often couldn’t help himself, she didn’t want him neglecting his health all the same. 

She’d be back with some hot chocolate in a few hours, just how he liked it.

As she was about to slip back out of the room, the hand at his elbow clumsily grasped for hers resting on the covered keys. Heat bloomed across her face, ears burning as he clung to her warmth. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” She sat down on the piano bench carefully, trying not to jostle him awake. “Your music will never stop being the most beautiful and soulful sound I’ve ever heard. But even a mind as impressive as yours needs plenty of rest--even more so, I’d wager. You work yourself too hard sometimes, Wolfie.” She leaned until her shoulder brushed his, “But I’ll always be here to make sure you don’t overdo it too much. Sweet dreams my only love.”

Vincent van Gogh (he’s babie your honor):

MC was on her laundry rounds, Vincent’s aprons now thoroughly washed and folded for his use once again. She knocked on the door murmuring a greeting--though fully anticipated he might not respond. While he was usually so sweet and attentive, it was almost like he became an entirely different person when painting. Utterly serious, intensely focused; any attempts at speaking to him would require many tries before he came back to himself with a beaming smile. 

She sighed dreamily, easily picturing it. His eyes would always be stunning, a cerulean to rival the calm waters of the Mediterranean Sea. But in the midst of his greatest passion? They burned bright enough to make her forget the rest of the world existed.

Trying not to embarrass herself on unsteady feet, she opened the door cautiously to find his easel abandoned. Shocked, she scanned the rest of the room until she found him strewn across the couch; a blanket haphazard in its provision of cover. With a gentle smile she stored away the fresh aprons in the dresser before she approached him, kneeling close to the couch so that she could tuck him in properly.

He let out a pleased little huff before shifting slightly in his sleep, body angled in her direction. There was a faint smile on his lips, evidence of what was likely a pleasant dream or peaceful rest. She traced the outline of his ear cuff with insatiable fingers, eyes glistening a little when he nuzzled into the faint touch--trapping her between his cheek and his arm. 

“You’re more precious to me than anything else in this world, Vince,” the murmur was barely audible, he didn’t stir. “I can’t imagine my life without you, and if I’m honest--no part of me really wants to imagine it. This warmth is the greatest gift I’ve ever known; thank you for choosing to share it with me. I love you so much, sweetheart.”

Le Comte de Saint Germain (SAN GERUMAN HAKKSHAKKU):

Every day is a long ass day when you have 10+ children (yes, Leonardo, you are in that child count I hope you’re happy >:| ). For all his half-hearted complaints about the exhaustion and noisiness though, he loves his bubs, and wouldn’t have things any other way.

Even so, it doesn’t stop the delighted giggling that shakes her shoulders when she finds him fast asleep in his favorite armchair. His tie is undone and askew, head lolling to the side--any attempt at his usual poise long forgotten. While she most often found him to be charming and delightful, she loved it even more when he felt comfortable sharing these parts of himself too. 

She set aside the tea she would always have prepared at this hour and reached for the coat he had draped across the opposite chair, settling it carefully over his form. Resisting every urge to join him--Sebas would need her help preparing dinner--she carded a hand through his hair, tucking it behind his ear so it wouldn’t tickle him while he was asleep.

He was so lovely like this, face unmarred by the weight of several lifetimes that found him when he was awake. No matter how early she rose when they were together, she rarely ever got the privilege of seeing him a little drowsy, lost to rest as he was now. She brushed light kisses to his eyelids, smiling when he half-sighed her name.

“Tuckered yourself out did you? You big worrywart.” She resisted the urge to find his hand and entwine it with hers. “I promise to watch over them, so rest easy, my dearest love.” She played with the collar, tucking him in further. “I know everyone here is precious to you. But remember that you’re the most important person in my life too,” she leaned her forehead gently against his. “While I love to see everyone get along, I love to see you happy and well-rested even more. You’ll always be the only one for me, [insert Comte’s real name].” 

Bonus continuation because I still can’t help myself apparently, somebody please take my laptop away from me:

Arms like steel bands enclosed her in his embrace, a sleepy exhale washing over her ear as she shivered a little at the sudden warmth.

“Mm, ma cherie, surely you didn’t think you’d get away with that kind of teasing...”

“But I wasn’t teasing you! I was completely serious.”

Laughter shook his chest and hers too, making her melt at the undisguised affection in the hands that settled her close to his heart.

“Then you must be punished for such foul play. To think you would ruthlessly attack me while asleep, bien-aime.”

“And how might I atone for this egregious indiscretion?”

She could feel him smile against her shoulder, the rascal. “Stay here a little while longer with me.” As if he had any intention of letting her go. Not that she minded, honestly.

“Threaten me with a good time.” she mumbled, stroking a hand soothingly along his back as they closed their eyes for a while.

A few more minutes couldn’t do any harm, could it?

[tigerkirby215]

5e Aphelios, the Weapon of the Faithful build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Pan Chengwei. Made for Riot Games.)

(Shit meme by yours truly.)

Yes I hate Irelia so much I’m genuinely making an Aphelios build before her.

But I really don’t get the “Aphelios too confusing 200 years” memes. Don’t get me wrong his kit’s weird and certainly overtuned but it doesn’t take that long to figure out what his guns do. Calibrum has long range and fires a skill shot, Severum has lifesteal and attacks fast, Gravitum slows and roots, Infernum attacks in a cone for AoE damage, and Crescendum attacks very fast and creates a turret.

Just because I understand this does it mean I can play Aphelios? Fuck no. Did I learn all this from Legends of Runeterra by playing Labs with Aphelios? Yeah kinda. But all I’m saying is that if my stupid support-main ass can do midway decently as Aphelios on free-to-play rotation I really think the hype around him is overblown.

That’s enough hot takes from me. He’s the point where I list 5 goals for this build instead of 3 and make 200 years jokes.

GOALS

Calibrum - We’ll need a long-ranged weapon to harass our foes and pick them off when they try to run.

Severum - If enemies get too close or we get too low we’ll need a way to keep ourselves alive in a 1v1.

Gravitum - We’ll need to control our foes to always stay in an advantageous position.

Infernum - AoE damage is always useful to deal with crowds.

Crescendum - To take down the toughest of foes we’ll need to unleash all our firepower and even get our weapons to fir themselves.

Basically we need literally everything, all packed within 20 levels of D&D and 200 years of game design.

RACE

Aphelios is a human... but ellipsis means that another race makes more sense. Aphelios has his sister advising him wherever he goes in life, so to play two spirits in one a Kalashtar is a good choice! Your Wisdom score increases by 2 and your Charisma increases by 1. Alune’s Dual Mind grants you Advantage on Wisdom saving throws, and her Mental Discipline lets you resist Psychic damage. Alune also keeps you Severed from Dreams, meaning that you’re immune to spells that require you to dream (like the Dream spell) but not spells that require you to sleep (like Sleep.)

Aphelios doesn’t talk (unless you want him to) but Alune can make a Mind Link to speak telepathically with others! You can speak telepathically to any creature you can see that’s within a number of feet of you equal to 10 times your level. You don’t need to share a language with them, but they must be able to understand at least one language. You can also use your action to give that creature the ability to speak telepathically with you for 1 hour or until you end this effect as an action. To use this ability, the creature must be able to see you and must be within this trait’s range. You can only give this ability to only one person at a time however, as it ends when you give it to someone else. Oh and speaking of languages you know Common, Quori (which no one is going to have outside of Eberron lol), and one other language of your choice: Celestial probably makes the most sense but you can pick whatever you fancy.

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - You’re a kpop pretty boy, because Aphelios has more guns than body types in League of Legends.

14; WISDOM - I mean you get advantage in Wisdom saves anyways: may as well make the skill good too?

13; DEXTERITY - You are a marksman but we aren’t really using DEX for combat. So in other words: something something Medium Armor.

12; CONSTITUTION - You are one of the squishiest ADCs in the game but you do have enough sustain to keep yourself alive.

10; INTELLIGENCE - You were trained spiritually, as opposed to academically. That being said Religion is an Intelligence skill for some reason.

8; STRENGTH - I mean look at Aphelios’ arms; kid’s a freaking twink.

BACKGROUND

Aphelios fights for him and his sister’s faith in the Lunari... bit unorthodox, but you’re certainly quite the devoted Acolyte. As an acolyte you get proficiency in Religion but I’d replace your proficiency in Insight with Medicine, which you’re probably used to after drinking so much poison. You also learn two languages that you won’t use because Aphelios is mute. (But yeah pick whatever you think will be useful and if you want to feel free to swap your languages for tools or something. A Herbalism Kit or Poisoner’s Kit actually works rather well given your favorite drink to keep close to your sister.)

Alune may be in the Shelter of the Faithful but you can return to the temple from time to time for solace. You and your adventuring companions can expect free healing and care at a temple, shrine, or other established location of Lunari faith (you have to provide any material components for spells though.) The Lunari will support you (but only you) at a modest lifestyle in the temples.

If you’re near your sister’s shrine you can ask the chosen Lunari priests for assistance, provided the assistance you ask for is not hazardous and you remain in good standing with your temple and your sister.

(Artwork by SixMoreVodka Studios. Made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - SORCERER 1

Starting off as a Sorcerer for proficiency in CON saving throws lol, but also for proficiency in Arcana and the Insight skill we skipped from our background. But Sorcerers get to choose their subclass at level 1 and to get closer to the Aspects grab a touch of the Divine Soul. As a Weapon of the Faithful you are Favored by the Gods, letting you add 2d4 to a missed attack roll or saving throw once per Short or Long Rest for a touch of Alune’s guidance. I’m going to mention now that a death saving throw is technically a saving throw, and I mention it because your AC is 11 and your health is 7. Level 1 ADCs, am I right?

Anyways: Divine Souls get Divine Magic for one extra spell from the Cleric spell list: technically you’re supposed to take one of the ones they suggest to you but I’d recommend Guiding Bolt for Calibrum’s Q: a long ranged shot that lets you shoot the target more easily afterwards.

And of course being able to cast spells implies that you have Spellcasting! You can learn four cantrips from the Sorcerer or Cleric list which means you can grab Guidance for a bit more of your sister’s help. You can also grab Word of Radiance to attack everyone near you with Severum’s Q, Acid Splash for some AoE damage from Infernum (should it be doing fire damage? Yeah probably), and Light to see with your dumb Kalashtar eyes. You can also learn two leveled spells like Sanctuary to protect yourself or your allies as long as they act peacefully, and Ice Knife for a more ranged AoE blast from Infernum.

If you want you can grab Mage Armor or something because your AC and HP are kinda uhhhhhhhhhh... trash?

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 1

Hopefully you didn’t die as a level 1 Aphelios with 7 HP and 11 AC; we didn’t even get 200 years of damage yet! Warlocks get to choose their subclass at level 1 as well which means you can shape yourself as the Fiend the Solari see you as. Dark One’s Blessing grants you temporary hitpoints equal to your Charisma modifier plus your Warlock level whenever you slay a foe for Severum’s lifesteal and passive shield.

You also get Pact Magic, which is like regular Spellcasting but your spell slots are funny! You can learn two cantrips from the Warlock list like Eldritch Blast to blast while you eldritch, and Chill Touch for some Grievous Wounds. You can also learn two Warlock spells like Burning Hands from the Fiendlock list to blast your foes with Infernum, and Hex to mark your foe for death under the moon.

LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks get access to Eldritch Invocations like Agonizing Blast to agonize your blasts, and Lance of Lethargy to slow your foes with Gravitum. You can also learn another Warlock spell like Unseen Servant for some extra sisterly help. I mean, you’re probably going to replace these all next level anyways.

LEVEL 4 - WARLOCK 3

Third level Warlocks can choose their Pact Boon and truthfully? Just about any of them work. Pact of the Blade would be the most “in-character” but your Strength and Dexterity are both kind of bad and you don’t need to use weapons. Pact of the Chain will let you personify Alune on your person and get a shitty version of Crescendum’s turret but Aphelios doesn’t have a pet. Pact of the Tome lets you get Aspect of the Moon which is funny in its own right and more cantrips are universally useful. And hell: even Pact of the Talisman is useful for your sister to lend her aid to someone else in the party. Basically this is an elaborate way for me to say that your Pact Boon doesn’t matter much for this build, as we won’t be using any of the abilities or invocations from your Pact Boon much. So pick what you think will be useful and fun and make your own Aphelios!

With that being said: you can also learn second level Warlock spells now! Shadow Blade will serve as Crescendum’s blade that you can throw at the enemy, but it is based on your DEX which is kind of... bad? Well at least you can replace Unseen Servant with Misty Step, because a summoner’s Flash is more useful than your sister’s unseen help.

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 4

Man isn’t it fun to wait until level 5 to not die when the enemy support breathes on you? That uneven Dexterity score was done so you could grab the Moderately Armored feat for +1 to your Dexterity and proficiency in Medium Armor and Shields. Grab both to get hit less, basically!

You can also learn another spell like Hold Person for Gravitum’s root. And another cantrip like Minor Illusion for your sister to summon some props that you can hide behind.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 5

Hey that Medium Armor doesn’t really fit your outfit: how about the Mask of Many Faces invocation to put on some skins?

Third level spells are also useful! Vampiric Touch will let you heal in close range by damaging your foes with Severum.

LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 6

6th level Fiend Warlocks get more guidance from Alune. The Solari may call it the Dark One’s Own Luck but all it lets you do is add a d10 to an ability check or saving throw once per Short or Long Rest. I mean hey: if you want a load of saving throw insurance this plus Favored by the Gods basically means you’re adding +10 to a saving throw!

You can also learn another spell but the only ones I’d want have very expensive components. Basically I want a Tasha’s summoning spell for Crescendum’s turret, but you’re going to be replacing it with...

LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 7

4th level Warlocks can learn Summon Aberration which is a little more than just a turret! You can choose between a Beholderkin turret, Slaad tank, or Star Spawned Aspect! I’m not going to go too deep into this spell as you can read up on it for yourself but the point is you’ve got some backup now!

Alternatively if you want I think your sis could use some friends: Banishment will send them up to the temple where they’ll have to sit around and chat peacefully with Alune. Or if they’re not from the plane you’re in they’ll just be sent home.

Oh and you can also get another Eldritch Invocation like Eldritch Spear to keep your range with Calibrum.

LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 8

8th level Warlocks get another Ability Score Improvement: you should probably increase your Charisma for more damage and accuracy with your weapons.

Speaking of weapons Dimension Door will let you head back to fountain to buy more weapons, or get out of danger and in range to use your weapons.

(Artwork by SixMoreVodka Studios. Made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

LEVEL 10 - SORCERER 2

We’ve gotten all of out basic auto attacks: now I want some of Aphelios’ finer abilities. Second level Sorcerers get a Font of Magic for Sorcery Points which currently do nothing other than let you get more spell slots. You can melt down your Warlock slots however to get more Sorcery points, which will be useful later.

And of course you can learn more spells, but we’re going to wait for...

LEVEL 11 - SORCERER 3

Third level Sorcerers can finally learn Metamagic to empower their spells! You can take Quickened Spell for some Attack Speed, or Seeking Spell for some armor penetration to deal with higher AC enemies.

You can also learn second level spells like Icingdeath’s Frost (UA soon to be in Fizban’s hopefully) to blast foes with Infernum then Gravitum, or Dragon’s Breath to blast Infernum all throughout the fight.

LEVEL 12 - SORCERER 4

Would be good to cap off that Charisma, so go ahead and do so with your ASI.

You can also learn another spell like Spiritual Weapon for a turret you can move around a bit, and a new cantrip like Mage Hand for your sister’s help reaching the top shelf.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - SORCERER 5

5th level Sorcerers can get some Magical Guidance from their sister to reroll ability checks, because she’s been reading up on Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything.

You can also learn a new spell like Fireball... I mean I really shouldn’t need to justify this. It’s Fireball. Blast them with Moonlight Vigil for a burst of Infernum’s fire!

LEVEL 14 - SORCERER 6

6th level Divine Soul Sorcerers can use their Sorcery Points for Empowered Healing... wait you have healing? Well whenever you or an ally within 5 feet of you rolls dice to heal from a spell, you can spend 1 sorcery point to reroll any number of those dice once, as long as you’re not incapacitated. This technically doesn’t work with Vampiric Touch (since that spell does damage and then heals you based on how much damage it deals) but if your support heals you or a nearby ally there’s no reason not to give them an extra pick-me-up!

You can also learn another spell but I’m going to hop back to second level real quick for Mirror Image. It perhaps doesn’t fit as well (which is why I didn’t take it until now) but it’s very good to keep yourself alive, and as a squishy Lunari boy it’ll be very helpful to make it harder for the enemy to hit you.

LEVEL 15 - SORCERER 7

7th level Sorcerers can learn 4th level spells like Guardian of Faith for a turret that actually stands still! It shoots at anyone who comes close, and when it runs out of ammo it disappears. But what’s cool about this spell is that it lasts for 8 hours, which is plenty of time to rest through the night while your sister watches over you.

LEVEL 16 - SORCERER 8

8th level Sorcerers get another Ability Score Improvement or Feat: seeing as you’re mostly casting War Caster would be a good pickup to keep your Concentration with your bad Constitution and also hit those who come too close with magic. Or you could just get better Constitution maybe since it’s a bit late for War Caster tbh...

You can also learn another spell like Death Ward, for a Guardian Angel that you’re probably going to need seeing as you still have less than a hundred health.

(Artwork by Francis Tneh and West Studios. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 17 - SORCERER 9

9th level Sorcerers can learn 5th level spells like Teleportation Circle to recall back to base or to your sister’s temple. If you know the sequence of sigils to go back to a teleportation circle you can use this spell to link yourself back to it. You can also create a new circle over the course of a year. (And by spending a lot of gold.)

Basically this is my way of saying that we got all we wanted after level 16 tbh and I’m kinda just going through the motions of grabbing your last few levels.

LEVEL 18 - SORCERER 10

10th level Sorcerers get their third Metamagic option! Hurrah! By this point you have enough spells that force saving throws that Heightened Spell is a good option to make it a lot harder for your opponents to resist 200 years of magic!

You can also learn another 5th level spell like Hold Monster for Gravitum’s root against a ganking Fiddlesticks. And another cantrip: I somehow didn’t take Prestidigitation until now, so grab it for all sorts of basic Lunari magic.

LEVEL 19 - SORCERER 11

11th level Sorcerers can learn a 6th level spell! This is going to be your final, highest level spell; your ultimate ability! And I’d consider an ultimate from a fed Aphelios to be a Circle of Death. It’s a huge AoE that does a lot of damage: a simple nuke for a simple ADC that isn’t remotely confusing.

LEVEL 20 - SORCERER 12

12th level Sorcerers get one last Ability Score Improvement or Feat... I’m going to be honest: this doesn’t fit Aphelios but you likely have around 100 HP. Do yourself a favor and grab the Tough feat for 40 extra health.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

For every phase, a weapon - Wow who would’ve guessed building for versatility makes you versatile? You have a huge variety of spells for just about any occasion: AoEs to deal with crowds, single-target spells to take down big foes, crowd control to keep enemies in place, summons to keep enemies targeting them instead of your allies, and of course more than enough damage to shake a stick at.

In your hand; from my heart - Sorcery points also give you plenty of flexibility, notably in your ability to greatly increase damage output thanks to Quickened Spell on Eldritch Blasts and Seeking Spell to reroll missed Eldritch Blasts. But being able to turn your Warlock slots into ammo for your more useful guns is extremely useful and allows you to better adapt to various situations.

I am with you... shining above - Medium armor goes quite a long way! A Breastplate and Shield gives you a solid 18 AC, and if you’re willing to have Stealth Disadvantage upgrading to Half Plate gives you a respectable 19 AC!

CONS

You make yourself a weapon, so you do not have to feel - Skill proficiencies are reserved for those who don’t spend 200 years on damage. You have two skills from your background and two from your class and none of them are particularly great. Sure your Insight and Medicine skills are fine enough but you’re going to be beaten in Arcana by a Wizard and Religion by a Cleric also a Wizard, because Religion is an Intelligence skill for some reason.

Your life upon the altar, brother... - Even with the Tough feat your health is extremely poor. d6 hit die hurt and anyone with Power Word Kill can easily execute you. While I did give you good Wisdom for roleplay’s sake you could (and probably should) opt for Constitution instead.

An omen in your grasp - Your low health is kind of a problem when a lot of your spells force you into close range. There are ways to use spells like Burning Hands, Dragon’s Breath, Shadow Blade, and Vampiric Touch without getting too close (those methods being the Distant Spell Metamagic which we didn’t take; you could totally replace Seeking Spell if you wanted though) but Severum and Infernum are balanced around their low range. There’s no reason you can’t throw balance out the window to take spells that will likely be more useful.

But you are a weapon, sworn to carry your faith and show the world the light in the darkness. Your task is to slay those that deny the right of your people before they even know you are there... Sure confusing them as to what you are even doing is also effective, and I guess it doesn’t matter if your abilities make sense if they’re all dead. They’ll have 200 years to figure out how you killed them: I’m sure that’s plenty of time to read your ability descriptions.

(Artwork by @NAOMM29 on Twitter.)

[daincrediblegg]

ALPHABET HEADCANONS: JACK O’NEILL

A/N: This is it!!!! I’ve caved!!!! I need more content for this man and I’ve gotta create it myself, so enjoy these unprompted lil nuggets of fluff! And don’t forget my ask box is always open for more!!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Jack is super fuckin affectionate, but he’s more of a… show don’t tell kinda guy. He’s got a bit of a hard time necessarily talking about how he feels- usually deflects things with humor. But he shows it in other ways. In warm touches, in playful side-eyes. Unrestrained by being professional he will hug you all the fuckin time. No shortage of funny little pet names either oh my god it’s like he comes up with a new one every fuckin dAY. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jack O’Neill is a really good best friend ok. You’ve seen how he is with the rest of SG1. The dude has so much chill (unless it’s a life-or-death situation obviously), is always inviting you to go fishing. He’s REALLY good in tough situations simply because of his sense of humor and general chill attitude. GREAT at reducing anxiety like guy is a human valium- always knows how to distract anyone before their brain goes into some sort of head-spiral about anything. Loyal as SHIT when you’re in with him he’s pretty much ride or die for you even if you don’t agree with him on everything he would still probably take a bullet for his best friends. Also the biggest hype man- whatever you’re good at he has 100% faith in you to do it right and will always shut down negative thoughts about your abilities. 10/10 on the bestie scale tbh the man is a LIFER.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’s actually, perhaps surprisingly, a really snuggly guy when you’re in a relationship with him. He may be… a little touch-starved since the divorce, and kinda misses it, so expect an arm draped over your shoulder or around your waist whenever you’re in a room together, and to be damned near joined at the hip when you’re not in public. The man is an actual living cuddle bug and he’s so sweet jesus. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

At one point in time he’d have liked nothing more than to settle down, get a dog, just enjoy being retired, but honestly he doesn’t mind that that ideal is a little further away than he thought now that he’s in the Stargate Program. He likes what he does- as stressful as it is sometimes, but there’s never a dull moment. That’s for sure. He’s very good about cleaning and keeping things tidy generally (it’s that military training hard at work), but cooking??? Eh??? He’s passable, can make some basic stuff and ofc he loves to grill (expect very charred meat) but… just don’t ask him to cook anything too elaborate (like… this is a dude who thinks beer is a good omelette ingredient jfc do not let him near a stove for anything more elaborate than a fried egg he’s a fucking gremlin man). 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Quickly. And probably succinctly. The only time he’d really get blunt about something is if he had to end it with his partner for some reason. Just to spare himself and his partner the pain. It’s not without emotion though. Oh no. He may move on from things with relative ease- more likely than not without malice for the other person, but he’d never leave anyone without saying a proper goodbye if he’s the one who has to end it. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Probably not too quick. He’s not even sure he really wants to get married again after how everything with Sarah went down. He’d have to be pretty crazy about someone to want to try all that again, but if that happens… then maybe he won’t be thinking about it like that. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

H-… have you seen this man??? How tender he is with his partners??? It’s unbelievable that a guy like him has the capacity to be as gentle as he is but it’s breathtaking, and it’s only a glimpse of what he’s capable of. He may be a military man- but doing what he does requires much more care and dexterity than people think, and his touch only serves to show as much. This is the guy who holds your face or tugs you closer when you kiss him. This is the same guy who can diffuse bombs and wield a firearm like an extension of himself and handles you with the same amount of reverence and care if not more. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Oh he loves hugs. Loves them. May not do hugs quite as often as he might like actually. Hugs his close friends plenty and especially when they need it, but hugs you even more. He’s a really good hugger too. They’re just encompassing and strong and warm and if you’re not careful you could get addicted. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He waits on this one. For like… a long while. He probably knows it deep down long before he says it, probably won’t really admit it to himself for a long while even when he realizes that’s what he feels. But one day it probably just… slips out. Unprompted. And it’ll shock you both, but one thing’s for sure; he means it with his whole chest and nothing less. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh you have no jealousy troubles with this man. He’s an adult, and he recognizes that he’s not the center of everyone’s universe and that people can have just friendly relationships with other people of the gender they’re attracted to. He wouldn’t be in any kind of serious relationship with someone he didn’t trust them implicitly from the start. The man is truly a champ at being chill as hell. If he ever does feel it you’d probably never fuckin know it either. Guy can keep that shit close to his chest if he wants. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Warm, enveloping, grounding. The kind that make you feel like you’re sinking into something solid, that nothing could hurt you. If he’s kissing you he’s taking his time. Holding you close. Meaning it. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

ARE YOU KIDDING??? HE’S FANTASTIC AROUND KIDS!!!! EARTH KIDS?? ALIEN KIDS??? THEY ALL LOVE HIM!!! HE IS JUST DAD SHAPED!!!!!! TO EVERYONE!!!! He’s… not sure if he’d ever want to try to have another kid of his own, maybe, but he has SERIOUSLY considered adopting some alien kids in the past at MINIMUM and probably would if he wasn’t always going off-world.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

A lot of groaning, at least when he wakes up at first, probably some sleepy kisses while resisting the temptation to uh… get frisky before work. But he’ll get up, clean up, shave and do his silly little crossword (and he DELIBERATELY puts in wrong answers for funsies I know this in my heart). Most days he probably eats breakfast at the base, but on his days off he would probably take turns with you making breakfast- makes egg and bacon smiley faces when it’s his turn (and the occasional beer omelet if he’s feeling lazy). PROBABLY would pick up donuts for the weekend too. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Usually with a couple of beers, snuggling up under a nice flannel blanket and watching The Simpsons, or whatever else is on TV. Maybe some take-out from one of the usual places (I’m convinced he’s got like 5 or 6 places in town he’s a regular at that he goes to on rotation) . Probably gets a fire going if things are getting chilly up in Colorado. Just likes to settle in and maybe pass out on the couch a lil. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s a low and slow kind of guy. Both for his own emotional well-being and for his partner’s. He’s got some pretty nasty demons in his past, and they overwhelm even him sometimes.  He knows that it’s important to talk about it, and while if he really loves someone he won’t mind sharing these things with them… it just takes time for him to work up the courage to face them again himself and put it all into words. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

With a partner, he’s just about as far away from easily angered as a guy can get. He’s actually very chill with the people he loves. There’s sincerely so very little that you could do that could piss him off to the point of losing his temper- and even then he’d never shout at you or anything- that’s the kind of shit he has to do and see enough at work, and he pretty explicitly never wants to cross that line with someone he’s in a romantic relationship with. And even if he is angry for some reason he’s never really angry at his partner- at least in affairs of the heart he pretty much always remembers the love he has for you comes first and foremost. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Believe it or not he actually is *very* good at remembering things about people. He may be one whole dumbass, and can’t do math, but that’s because most of his brain capacity is taken up with things about the people he cares about. Probably knows you down to your favorite food- enough to know to bring it to you to cheer you up, or suggest watching your favorite movie when you get home after a long day. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He probably remembers the moment you met the most clearly- the moment when you were suddenly in his life even though he didn’t know what you would end up meaning to him down the line. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Jack is honestly the kind of guy who would rather die himself than stand idly by and watch someone he cares about die. This man would take a staff blast and so much worse for you and that’s a guarantee. But when he’s down that means he’s a little more vulnerable. He really appreciates it when he knows someone is gunning to keep him alive too. To know that despite his bravado and despite his own hero complex someone’s just as concerned with his livelihood. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’d put a little effort in. He’s more on the low-key side, not as big of a fan of grand gestures, and of course sometimes the job gets in the way of putting plans into motion (and he’d need a partner who’d understand that), but if that does happen he inevitably finds a way to make it up- sometimes even ahead of time if he has even a shred of warning about some kind of impending earthly peril. But when he plans something it’s usually very sweet, and far from an unfun cliché (but at least one time for valentine's day you *will* come home to rosepettals on the floor leading to the bedroom to find him in some silk boxers on the bed because of course he’s the gift). But usually things with him are… I don’t wanna say spontaneous because he does usually have at least a little bit of a game plan, but he’s all for improvisation and just loves getting swept up in doing whatever with you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

I wanna take some time to call him out thoroughly on the fuckin beer omelets thing my guy do you???? Have taste buds???? Listen. With other shit in there I might understand. Beer and cheese is a good combo. But???? JUST BEER IN YOUR EGGS AVAJSFHR!!!!!! Of all the stuff you’ve done in this whole series this is probably your greatest war crime and I’m gonna fucking invoke the 3rd amendment for it. Oh also his fridge is nasty and full of “science experiments” (which like... same) but guy I get why you always be getting take out now jesus fucking christ.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not overly. You’ve seen how this man dresses. He has his little inexplicably fashionable moments, but by *far* he’s more concerned with practicality at least where his attire and physical appearance are concerned. That being said, if you compliment him on like literally anything he will get a major confidence boost about it and will try to do it/wear it more. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No… and yes. With all he’s seen and been through, he knows not everything is certain, not everything is meant to be and nothing is forever. But at the same time… he feels just a little better off with you around. He feels this kind of thing with everyone he’s really close with in their own unique way. He really doesn’t know where he’d be without the people he cares about who care about him back and can’t imagine a scenario in which he’d feel whole as a person without them coming into his life at the time they did. And you’re absolutely no different. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

So we know Jack has like the biggest fuckin sweet tooth. Pie, Cake, Donuts, ice cream, all of it. There’s always sweets in the house. And if you *make* some for him??? He will automatically love you forever. Also would probably be ok with you feeding him sweets. Warning tho: He’d probably do it back and get it all over your face and whoops now you’re making out covered in frosting and bits of cake and the only way to clean up is to lick it off each other’s faces oh no oh dear. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Petty, pushy people. Just doesn’t have the time. Jack can honestly vibe with just about everyone, even people who are wildly different than him, but the only thing that’s really an outright nope for him is people who are so wrapped up in petty problems they can’t see any kind of bigger picture. Or people who are just generally *too* pushy or overly dramatic about every little thing for little to no reason to the point of being just plain childish. He can handle just about everything else but that??? Nope.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Kinda sprawls out a lil in his sleep. Typically a stomach sleeper but shifts to his back sometimes (especially to cuddle). He’s always at least touching you in his sleep because no matter how much or little he just likes knowing you’re there.

[firemblem-fics]

hi lay! could i please get the sfw alphabet for yuri? i love your work!!! have a nice day!! 💕

sfw alphabet. | yuri

-> Pairing: Yuri x GN!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, SFW Alphabet

-> Warnings: None

-> A/N: i just wanted to say i’m so so so so close to 1.2k followers and i’m so excited i love having so many of y’all supporting me ♡︎

A -> Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

yuri is not affectionate in the beginning. it takes him a long time to warm up and get truly comfortable and fully trusting with you, so he still kind of has his walls up at the beginning of your relationship.

as it progresses, he gets a little more open in private, but there are some days where yuri just doesn’t want affection

B -> Begin (How did the relationship begin?)

you two were flirting MASTERS bruh

the tension in the monastery was unreal from the moment you two met. at first it wasn’t really serious, instead just trying to fluster the other, but eventually you gained some genuine feelings and he did too. yuri never really actually asked you out, it just kind of happened one day

C -> Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How do they cuddle?)

yuri’s kind of temperamental when it comes to cuddling. he doesn’t mean to be, but some days just aren’t cuddling days.

growing up, yuri didn’t get the affection he needed after being adopted. a sudden onslaught of affection and cuddling sometimes gets really overwhelming for him and he just needs to chill for a bit

D -> Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning?)

yuri’s never really thought about settling down. if you don’t want to settle down, he won’t either. if you do, he’ll consider it. to him, his work in the abyss never ends. he doesn’t want to “settle”, because to him, settling down means that his work is done.

E -> Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

unfortunately, yuri would pull some shit out of his ass like he did in the ashen wolves route. he’d come up with some lie as to why he’s breaking up with you and make you hate him so that it’s a little easier for him. newsflash, it’s never easier

F -> Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

yuri is definitely not going to jump at the chance of marriage, but he’d be willing to sit down and talk with you about it. after you’d been together for a long time, of course

he’s good with commitment, like exceptionally good, which is why i don’t think that he believes marriage is necessary. what’s the point other than earning a new last name? you love him and he loves you, he doesn’t think that there needs to be some big ceremony to know that

but if you’re adamant about it, he won’t be against it. as long as the wedding ceremony isn’t too big

G -> Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

physically, yuri is very gentle. he’s kind of awkward at first, not knowing what to do, so he’s lowkey kind of scared of doing the wrong thing. everything he does is done with precision and care to make sure that you’re comfortable and happy

emotionally, it takes him a while to be a little less... closed off. yuri is blunt and brutally honest, preferring not to sugar coat things or get caught up in sweet pleasantries. he has to realize that sometimes, those things can be taken as mean and the last thing he wants to do is be mean to you. showing you his soft side comes slowly, but it’s worth it when he does.

H -> Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

hugs are reserved for the small, fleeting private moments that the two of you get alone

they’re loose, with his arms draped around your waist and yours resting on his shoulders as he smiles down at you, talking sweet nothings in a hushed voice

I -> I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

yuri’s love language is definitely not words of affirmation

it’s acts of service but that’s not what this letter is about

yuri doesn’t say i love you often. you’re the one to say it first, and even then, it’s a little hard for him to get out. it’s not that he doesn’t love you, because trust me, he does, it’s just that it’s such a vulnerable thing that caught him completely off guard when you said it.

he does say it back, though, muffled into the crown of your hair as he holds you in the middle of the night

J -> Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

to get yuri jealous is to accomplish the impossible

to even consider you as his s/o, yuri has to have an enormous amount of trust in you. he has faith that you won’t ever betray him

but if he does, somehow, get jealous, it’s kind of funny to watch. he’ll just casually walk up to whoever you’re talking to and join in on the conversation, making sure to butt in and interrupt the guy. he just wants to make the dude super duper frustrated, and it works.

K -> Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

super fiery and possessive, and yet unsure at the same time. yuri’s so passionate about you and loves you a lot, but he’s always on the cautious side, making sure that you’re comfy and okay

he love love love loves to kiss the crown of your head, especially as he’s holding you against his chest. it makes him feel like he’s protecting you

kiss his neck and chest!! please! he absolutely melts, even if it’s just cute lil loving sfw kisses

L -> Little Ones (How are they around children?)

yuri is very very good with kids. he’s like a hero to the children in the abyss, so he’s got a lot of practice. he loves to sit with them and tell them stories. his most popular is about a robin hood-esque character who somehow managed to get the most beautiful, sweetest person in the world to fall in love with him. that story makes you blush every time.

M -> Mornings (How are mornings spent with them?)

mornings together aren’t too often, but they’re not as scarce as they would be with felix. yuri’s day starts bright and early and he’d like it if yours did too. he’d love to wake up and spend like five minutes with you, but if you’re not an early bird he’d understand

if you’re still asleep by the time he wakes up, he’ll lay on his side and just admire you for a bit, running his fingers through your hair and just looking at you before giving you a kiss on the forehead and getting up to start his day.

N -> Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

nights with yuri kind of depend on his mood

as said in earlier headcanons, there are times when yuri just doesn’t want to be touched. those nights, you both just lay side by side and talk about different things

on nights that he’s comfortable with cuddling, he often will lay facing you and will hold you to his chest, his chin resting on your head as he rubs small circles into your back, still talking about the day and future plans

O -> Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait to reveal things slowly?)

even years into your relationship with yuri, you’re still learning things. it’s usually menial things that he doesn’t deem necessary for someone to know, but you’re still learning.

it’s not that yuri doesn’t trust you, because he does, it’s just that he’s not an open person. he doesn’t find talking about his past beneficial for anyone, so he just doesn’t do it.

he will confide in you about his real name right after you get together, though, asking you to never use it again after that.

P -> Patience (How easily angered are they?)

yuri is very slow to anger. sure, he gets frustrated at times, but he’s never one to show such negative emotions. if someone sees that they’re getting to him, that’s a weakness that he just doesn’t want people to see.

he wouldn’t really ever get mad at you, i wish i could elaborate more on that but yuri’s just really tolerant and you don’t really do anything to make him mad anyways??

Q -> Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

yuri remembers big things like your birthday or other significant facts, but sometimes he has to be reminded of smaller things like your mother’s father’s dog’s cousin’s name. he remembers most things is what i’m trying to say

R -> Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

yuri likes to remember the day he realized that you were the one. he was very stressed that day because the abyssians were getting nervous about rumors of an impending attack from thieves and he was struggling calming them all down

you jumped right into the chaos when you saw what was happening and quickly began soothing the abyssians as well, rallying them up and improving their morale just in case they actually would have to defend their home again

yuri’s heart swelled as he realized that you truly cared about his people and his home as much as he did

S -> Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

yuri’s quite protective, but in a secretive way. he’s not really... out there. he chooses to watch you from the corner of his eye when you’re in the same room or fight close to you when you’re in battle, only swooping in to save the day when you absolutely need it.

that’s how he’d prefer to be “protected” as well, just don’t call it protected because the great yuri leclerc does NOT need protection according to him. don’t be overbearing, let him handle things and only really come in when he absolutely needs it.

T -> Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, etc?)

yuri would definitely try to make special days special, but he wouldn’t do much in terms of physical gifts. instead, he’d make you take a day off from duties and treat you to a tea party or a trip to the sauna and such

U -> Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

yuri will always always always struggle with leaning on you for support. he’s used to being the big, lone wolf leader who doesn’t need anybody and that won’t change easily.

V -> Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks? Do your looks bother them?)

yuri is naturally a beauty, so he doesn’t really try with his looks. even if he doesn’t really think he’s that much of a catch, he doesn’t bother to make himself one either.

your looks don’t bother him at all. he likes you for your personality, loyalty, strength, and all those things. it’s just a plus that you’re exceedingly attractive

W -> Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

i’m sorry, reader, but if he did feel incomplete without you, he sure as hell would be good at showing it. yuri’s spent his life only being close to three other people while everyone else has betrayed or left him. he’s got walls up for a reason and if you left, he’d easily be able to shut those feelings out and put the walls back up again

X -> Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

yuri snorts when he laughs too hard it’s just a proven fact. he gets super embarrassed when he does and makes you swear not to tell anyone, but it’s so cute and funny and makes you both laugh ten times harder

Y -> Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, in general or in a partner?)

if you don’t care about the abyss or are really selfish, that’s a no. yuri has two number one priorities; you and the abyss. he’d appreciate it if you at least just cared a little about it, yk? that’s his home

Z -> Zzz (What’s a sleep habit of theirs? Does it change around a partner?)

in addition to snorting when he laughs, yuri also makes little noises when he sleeps. they’re usually just small hums or little mumbles, but once you had a conversation with him while he was dead asleep

[amazingphilza]

DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS

i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]

,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL

also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3

character origin :

previous life was the l’mantree :D

allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)

reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree

i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]

appearance :

my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue

clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms

lore / history :

since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree

after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg

however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point

i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters

but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character

i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,

he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))

vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos

i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions

“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos

but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need

i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it

but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory

unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...

to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot

not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg

he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people

connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur

i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?

like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?

i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions

but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth

in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with

like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough

but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,

maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person

ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,

surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead

but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,

personality :

to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side

however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out

in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding

i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions

i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though

schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j

because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical

i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves

maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people

like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)

i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived

everything is a constant blur hehe

i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!

in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people

but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”

we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,

but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream

there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth

like who am i really?

powers , bonuses , etc :

since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???

i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well

maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff

assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—

i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows

seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)

like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general

you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)

i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool

i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO

omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow

also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j

i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—

since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj

i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree

like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now

he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it

not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway

canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj

also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D

also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff

and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj

apples am i right chat,,,,,

i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples

“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j

ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere

like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc

i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting

oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???

i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch

also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,

big existential crisis pls

and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg

lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j

oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]

ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything

not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost

yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D

like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?

tubbo’s gangnam style who?

like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future

on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows

also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff

anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO

and lastly if u read all of this ily /p

i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya

[youreacowgirllikeme]

Blind Date

 

Note: just an idea I had, hope you like it. some soft fluffiness, but also smut bc I’m still h word for Jake, especially after how he looked tonight on tv.

Pairing: Jake Tapper x reader

 Warnings: smut, NSFW

 

(sorry for eventual typos, I wrote this in a bit of a frenzy)

enjoy

 

“You look horrible. “Abby stated matter-of-factly as she sat down in the restaurant chair across from you.

 “I missed you too, great to see you, thanks. “you responded, not even bothering to argue with her.

Abby was your best friend since college, if she said you looked horrible it was either a joke or a fact. Considering the way she was looking at you, probably the latter.

“Hard week at work?”

 You let out a tired huff.

“You have no idea. We got this new client who booked us for a nation-wide tv ad, and they’re so incredibly demanding. I’ve been working overtime for three weeks straight, it’s a miracle they didn’t call me in today.”

Your monthly Saturday brunch with Abby was sacred, work be damned.

Your friend was giving you a worried look across the table. “Well, I’m glad they didn’t, you deserve a day off.”

 “Enough of my sad life, how is it going over at Fake News?” you joked.

 “Amazing actually. You won’t believe it, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re thinking about offering me John’s Sunday spot on Inside Politics. Can you imagine, my own hour, as an actual anchor. It’s nothing official yet, but I’m so excited.”

 “Oh my god, Abby, that’s awesome. I’m so proud of you. We should celebrate.” you exclaimed, beckoning a waiter to order two glasses of champagne.

 Abby gave you a warm smile.
“Thank you, babe. But let me be honest, I’m worried about you. You look exhausted, even your voice sounds tired. When was the last time you did something actually relaxing?”

 “I’ve watched a movie, like, a week ago. And I do yoga, at least sometimes.” You tried to argue, not entirely sure if you wanted to convince Abby or yourself.

 A smirk settled over your friend’s face, and she looked at you like she just had the most brilliant idea ever. You did not like that look at all, it usually meant trouble.

 “Well todays your lucky day, because I know just what you need to de-stress a bit.”

 You just raised an eyebrow at her. 
“Care to elaborate, genius?”

 “You, my friend, need to get laid.”

You snorted. “Fun times, Abbs, you almost got me,”


“I’m serious, Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Okay, it’s been a while, but I’m fine. I don’t need a man to interfere with the little free time I have. And it’s not like the streets are full of men chasing me. I don’t have time to date, and, like I said, I’m totally fine with the way things are at the moment.” You tried your very best not to sound defensive. 

The expression on Abby’s face told you everything you needed to know. She didn’t buy a single word coming out of your mouth.
“Y/N, trust me when I tell you, blowing off a little steam would do wonders for your stress level. And maybe you’d even meet someone nice. And, lucky for you, I know just the guy. He’s someone I work with, and I think you’d get along perfectly.”

 “You’re not actually suggesting setting me up on a blind date.” You couldn’t believe your friend. The last thing you needed was an evening full of awkward small talk with some boring, sleek CNN guy.

 “Come on, Y/N, take a leap of faith. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

+++

 (One week later)

 “I can’t believe I actually agreed.” You murmured to yourself as you rummaged through your closet, looking for an outfit to wear on that damned date Abby bullied you into.

You thought about the peaceful evening you could have had, curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine, maybe getting some work done.

But it was too late to back down now.

 “Let’s just get this over with” you told yourself, applying some lipstick as if it was war paint. “Let’s hope that the guy is at least good-looking.”

 The restaurant Abby sent you to was nice enough, a small and intimate place, perfect for a date. You couldn’t wait to have your first glass of wine, because you could feel your nervousness increasing with each passing minute.

You entered the restaurant, looking for the third table on the window side that Abby had described to you…and directly turned around, practically fleeing through the door again as soon as you set eyes on the man sitting there.

 Back outside, you took your phone out of your bag and furiously dialed Abby’s number. She picked up right away, but you were shouting at her before she could even say a word.

“You better tell me that you did not set me up with Jake fucking Tapper.”

Was she out of her mind? This was the Jake Tapper, the face of CNN, hell, the face of the media in this country. What the fuck were you supposed to talk to him about.

But your friend just chuckled at you through the phone.
“When you saw him on TV some months ago, you said he was your type. Plus, he’s intelligent, funny, and single. Perfect for you. And now stop making a fool out of yourself and go in there. You got this, girl. Love you, bye.”
And with that, she hung up.

 You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves. You could not just leave now, and stand up Mr. Breaking News himself. So you pocketed your phone again, squared your shoulders and went back into the restaurant.

You made your way over to the table, coming to a stop in front of it. The man sitting there looked up to you and smiled. And wow, what a beautiful smile it was, sincere, warm and inviting, taking over his entire face.

“Hi.” You said, trying to sound confident.

“I’m Y/N, Abby’s friend.”

 

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Jake. I’m working with Abby, but she probably already told you that much.”

“She did, but I’ll be honest, I know you, of course. Big fan of your show.”

God, why did you just say that. He was probably going to think you were some kind of crazy fangirl now.

 But he just continued to smile his open, friendly smile at you.
“Always happy to hear that.” He chuckled, pointing to the opposite chair. “Do you want to sit down?”

 “Yes, of course, sorry.” You said, feeling silly because you totally forgot that you were still standing. You quickly sat down and tried your best to appear calm and collected, even if your insides were in turmoil.

 “Would you care for some wine? They have a pretty impressive list, I could pick one for us if you don’t mind.” Jake asked.

 “Wine sounds fantastic. I love it, but I’m not really an expert, so go ahead.”

 Jake took some reading glasses out of the pocket of his suit jacket and put them on his nose. 
While he was studying the wine list, you took your time to study him instead. He appeared to be in his late forties, so there was an age difference of probably 15 to 20 years. You didn’t mind that at all, older men had always been more your type.

He had a really handsome face, kind eyes that looked even better when he had those glasses on, and you loved his salt-and-pepper hair. He was wearing a light blue dress shirt with a dark grey suit jacket. You caught your mind wandering to how he might look underneath his clothes and gave yourself a mental slap on the wrist. This was your first date, no need to get ahead of yourself.

“Everything alright over there?”

 Shit, he had caught you staring.

 “Yes, sorry, I zoned off for a moment. I had a stressful week at work.”

“Oh, yes, Abby told me you’re working in advertising. Any interesting projects at the moment?”

You went on and chatted about work a bit. You were fascinated by what he was doing, and taken aback by the confident, yet humble way he was talking about it. This was absolutely not the behavior you were expecting from the leading anchorman of the nations most renowned network. He wasn’t arrogant or self-centered at all and you were definitely charmed.

The wine Jake ordered arrived with your starters, and soon after you had your first few sips you felt some of the initial nervousness fading away.

Soon, the conversation was flowing freely, and you discovered that Abby was right, you really did get along perfectly. Jake was incredibly funny in a dry and witty way and his sarcastic remarks made you laugh more than once. You also discovered your shared interest in graphic novels and argued a while about weather DC or Marvel was the superior comic universe.

Jake showed you one of his own cartoons on his phone, and with each moment you found yourself more drawn to the man in front of you.
At some point his hand started to lightly brush against yours on the table, and each touch sent a warm feeling through your chest.

You talked some more over dessert, had some more wine and overall, a really good time.

The alcohol gave you a pleasant, fuzzy feeling, and the desire to just get up and crawl on Jakes lap grew with each look he gave you.

 “Excuse me, Ma’am, Sir, were closing up now.” A passing waiter told you and put the check on the table.

 “Let me take care of that, please.” Jake said, taking out his wallet. You just thanked him and enjoyed the view of him putting on his glasses again to read the check.

 He really was a perfect gentleman, you thought to yourself, as he got up to hold your coat and then the door for you on your way out.


“I really had a wonderful evening.” you said softly, as the both of you were standing on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. Jake shot you another one of his brilliant smiles, and you could feel your heart beating faster.
“Me too.” He replied. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I’d like to see you again.”

Now your heart was almost jumping out of your chest, and you could feel your own smile taking over your face.
“I’d love that.”

 Jake took one step closer, now standing so close you could almost feel the warmth radiating off his body. One of his hands came up to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, his thumb slowly stroking over your jaw. His touch sent goosebumps all over your skin, and you slightly parted your lips, looking him directly in the eyes. They were warm, and dark, and you felt like you could get lost in them. And then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your mouth.

It felt incredible, a kind of warmth that was totally unrelated to the wine spreading through your body, your skin prickling where his hand was still on your face.

You put your hands on his arms and kissed him back, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against yours. He still tasted slightly like red wine, and you wanted nothing more than to explore the rest of his body with your mouth just as thoroughly.

 First date, you reminded yourself, and broke free from the kiss before your lust-clouded brain could make you do something you might regret later. You glanced up at Jake, who looked at you with an unreadable expression. Then, after what felt like forever, he finally spoke.

“Could I maybe have your number?”

 

“Of course.” You said, with maybe a bit much enthusiasm, but Jake didn’t seem to mind. You quickly typed your number into his phone, and just as you were finished, the cab you had called earlier was arriving.

Jake held the door open for you, and shot you one last, beautiful smile. “Good night, Y/N, get home safe.”

“Thank you for the wonderful evening, Jake. Good night.”

 You closed the door and the taxi drove off. You already missed his face as soon as he was out of sight, and you turned around to watch his receding figure through the rear window of the taxi.

Great, you were already down bad after one date. The man really got to you, and you desperately hoped that you would hear from him soon.

 As soon as you were home, you really felt the effects of the wine, so you quickly went to bed to get some sleep. Just before you were nodding off, you sent Abby a quick message.

 

You were right, he is perfect. THANKS xxxx

 

When Abby answered five minutes later, you were already asleep.

 Told you so ;) xxxx

+++

 When you woke up the next morning, there was a new message from an unknown number on your phone. Your heart made a flip in your chest, and you opened it as fast as you could.

 

Hi, this is Jake. It’s probably way too soon to text you, but I just wanted to let you know, again, what a great time I had yesterday. If you’d be up to it, I’d really like to see you again soon. Let me know if that would be alright with you. And have a nice Saturday :)

 

He had already texted you. That meant he didn’t think that you were crazy, or awkward, and that he wasn’t just acting nice, he genuinely wanted to see you again. You were filled with a giddy sort of happiness, and decided to answer him right away, there was no need to play any games here. Leap of faith, just like Abby said.

 

Good Morning Jake, I really enjoyed yesterday as well. I’d love to spend some more time together; would tomorrow evening be too spontaneous? I could make dinner, to return the favor since you paid yesterday ;) my place at eight?

 

As soon as you hit the send button you started getting anxious again. What if tomorrow was too soon? What if he thought you were being too eager?

“Stop it, Y/N!” you said out loud to interrupt your mental spiral. You wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself for this man, even if he was handsome, and intelligent, and funny. No way.

 But as you were standing in the kitchen five minutes later and heard your phone chiming from the other room, you were there in the matter of seconds to read the new message.

 

Tomorrow sounds perfect, just text me the address. I’ll bring the wine. xx Jake

 

You clutched your phone to your chest, the biggest, goofy smile on your face.

 You spent the remaining day extensively cleaning your flat, stressing out, going grocery shopping and stressing out some more. You face-timed Abby and bullied her into helping you pick out an outfit, since she technically was the one who got you into this mess in the first place.

Jake was occupying your mind whatever you did, and when you finally got into your bed that night, all you could think about was how his lips had felt against yours. Those thoughts sent a hot, burning feeling down between your legs and when you finally touched your pussy, you were already so wet and aroused that it only took you minutes until you reached your peak, Jakes name falling from your lips.

+++

To say you were a nervous wreck the next day would be an understatement. When you woke up, you decided to watch some TV to get yourself a bit of distraction. An ad was currently playing, and so you decided to check your mails first.

 

“Good Morning from Washington, where the State of our Union is in turmoil over the latest…”

 

Your head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice coming from your TV, the voice that occupied your mind ever since your blind date on Friday. You had totally forgotten that Sunday morning meant Jake Tapper time on CNN, because usually you were either asleep or at work at 9 am. But now you took your time to really appreciate the man on your TV.

He looked way more serious than the Jake you got to know, no smile, just a stern expression and a dark suit and tie. Which didn’t mean that he wasn’t looking totally hot, and his intelligent and sharp remarks did nothing to calm your fluttering heart or the heat in your lower abdomen. You definitely wanted him, bad.


This is getting ridiculous, you thought to yourself, and turned the TV off to take a very long shower.

Afterwards, you spent the whole day pacing around your flat and annoying Abby with numerous text messages and another two face time calls. She assured you multiple times that everything would be just fine and by the time it was 7:45 p.m. the food was in the oven and you sat on your couch, waiting for the doorbell to ring.

When it finally did, you all but ran to the door only to stop and force yourself to take a couple of calming breaths before opening it. Jake stood outside, a bottle of red wine in his hand. He looked amazing with his white dress shirt and dark grey slacks, but again it was his smile that got your attention, he looked just as happy to see you as you were feeling.

Out of a sudden impulse, you surged forward and threw your arms around the man, hugging him and burying your head in his chest. He seemed surprised, but still put his free arm around you, embracing you.

“Hi.” You whispered, suddenly shy, but as you looked up to meet Jakes eyes you could see nothing but warmth in them. “Hi.” He replied, pressing a kiss to your hair. “It’s good to see you.”

 You slowly let go of him so he could actually enter your apartment. He followed you inside and you fetched some glasses for the wine. You talked about everything and anything over dinner, family, football, the book Jake was working on. You listened closely, and so did he as you told him about your passion for art and music. He even asked you to put some of your favorite records on as you moved over to the couch after dinner.

You were still talking animatedly but having Jake in closer physical proximity made it increasingly hard to focus on what he was saying.

Instead, your eyes and mind wandered to his hands. Without thinking, you reached out and put one of your hands into his, He stopped speaking, and looked at you. You could see the kind look in his eyes being replaced by something darker, more passionate.

 He spoke again, voice lower this time. “I’ve been thinking about you and our kiss without a break since yesterday. And just as long I’ve wanted to kiss you again, touch you again.”

He reached out, cupped your jaw with one of his hands and slowly ran his thumb over your bottom lip. It took every willpower you had not to suck his thumb into your mouth. This man had you hot and aching for him with just a single touch and a couple of words.

“Is that something you want me to do, Y/L?” his voice was only a low rumble now.

 

“Oh my god yes. Yes please.” You whispered, not really trusting your own voice to come out steady enough. 
The hand on your face slid to the back of your head and you uttered a surprised gasp as Jake just grabbed a fist of your hair and pulled you close, until your faces were only inches apart.

“You are beautiful.” He said, looking you deep in the eyes.

And then he kissed you again. And as soon as his mouth connected with yours, you realized just how much you had missed the feeling of his lips, the warmth of his body. But that was where the resemblance to the kiss you shared last night ended. Because this one was more.

More passion, more lust. Jake softly bit your bottom lip and used your surprised gasp as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. The kiss deepened and you could feel small sparks of arousal all over your body with every touch of tongue and every time he lightly tugged on the hair in the nape of your neck.

Your hands found their way around Jakes shoulders, roaming up and down his back. You were really glad he was not wearing his full State Of The Union Outfit, even if it had looked extremely hot, because as soon as you could feel the solid muscle through his thin dress shirt, you knew that those clothes had to come off at some point.

You lightly tugged on the hem of his shirt to pull it out of his pants and spread your hands over the warm skin underneath. Jake broke the kiss as soon as he could feel what you did, just to tilt back your head and kiss your exposed neck.

You couldn’t stifle a moan as he lightly sucked on your pulse point.

The feeling of his mouth on your skin made heat coil between your legs, and you tried to shift even closer to him, until you were almost sitting on his lap.

Jake continued to kiss your neck, while his other hand crept under your shirt to palm your breast through your bra. He lightly squeezed it and you moaned again, you nails raking softly over his back, making him groan against your skin.

“You like that?” he asked, and pinched one of your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra, and you could feel your panties getting soaked with arousal.

You decided that it was time to get rid of some clothing and started to quickly unbutton Jakes dress shirt, revealing more and more skin with each button undone. As soon as you were finished, he pulled the shirt of his shoulders and the view of his body made your mouth water. You ran your hands over his muscled chest, and you could see the way his eyes darkened again.

“I can’t wait to touch you everywhere.” He said in a husky voice and pulled your shirt over your head in a swift motion, and instantly his lips were on yours again, his hands roaming over your back, unclasping your bra. When your nipples came in contact with the skin of his chest, you couldn’t contain yourself anymore.

“Jake, please. Touch me, kiss me, anything. I need to feel you.” You pleaded, your voice slightly breathless.

 

“Take the rest of your clothes off, now.” Jake said, his commanding tone sending another surge of wetness between your legs.

 You got up from the sofa and stood in front of Jake. Slowly, you opened the zipper of your jeans and pulled them down, leaving you only in your black lace panties.

Jake was watching you, his intense stare burning on your skin.

“Everything. Off.” He said, never breaking eye contact.

Having the undivided attention of this man was so hot, you almost got lightheaded.

You slowly dragged your underwear down your legs, and as you were looking up again, you saw that Jake was palming the bulge that had begun to form in his pants. You wanted to touch him so bad.

“You are gorgeous. Amazing. Beautiful. Stunning.” Jake said, taking in the sight of your naked body. His voice was strained, this was clearly affecting him.

A light flush was beginning to form on your skin, you weren’t sure if it was because of arousal or embarrassment, but you definitely knew that you needed Jake to get his hands on your body, now.

You made your way over to him again and leaned down to open the fly of his trousers. His briefs were already tented by his erection, and you palmed him through his underwear, making him groan.

“Those need to come off.” You whispered, smiling at Jake, who just nodded and lifted his pelvis so you could pull down his trousers along with his underwear.

Finally, he was naked in front of you. He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you down on the sofa, lying on top of you. The feeling of his warm skin against yours was thrilling, you tried to get your hands on every part of his body you could reach, stroking his back, pulling his hair. Finally, you wrapped your hand around the base of his hard cock, giving it some light strokes.

“You feel so good, Y/N, I’ve been thinking about doing this since I first laid my eyes on you. I’ve been in a state since we kissed, and now” he whispered against your neck „I can’t wait to finally have that sweet pussy of yours.”

You couldn’t believe the words coming out of Jakes mouth, hearing him say filthy things like that was turning you on more than you could’ve ever imagined. Obviously, your thoughts were written all over your face.

“You like it when I talk like that, don’t you, sweetheart.” He said, pinching one of your nipples as he did.

“I…Oh shit, yes, yes I do. Please.” You whimpered, almost going you crazy with the need to finally feel him. 

He had mercy on you, reaching out between your legs. When he touched your pussy for the first time, you felt like the pent-up tension could make you faint any moment.
“God, you’re so wet, Y/N.” He thrust two of his long fingers into you without warning, and you almost screamed.
“And so tight.”

“I need you, please Jake, fuck me.” You were begging now, way beyond caring about any sort of decorum as his digits touched that sweet spot inside of you again and again.

 He withdrew his fingers and shifted on top of you before he put his hands on your tights, spreading your legs. You couldn’t even begin to complain about the loss of his fingers, he was already lining up his cock with your entrance, and pushed in, slowly, filling you inch by inch until he bottomed out with a deep groan. His length stretched you in the most delicious way, and you cried out as he was starting to thrust in and out of you, leaving you almost no time to adjust to his size.

You couldn’t talk coherently anymore, you were just chanting his name over and over as he was fucking you into the sofa. Your nails clawed into his back as he was leaning over you, his hair falling into his face. Just as you thought you couldn’t feel any more pleasure, he grabbed one of your legs and probed it onto his shoulder, the new angle making you see stars with every move of his hips.

“You feel incredible, so tight and warm around me, you are amazing.” He looked down on you, taking in your face, squinted with pleasure, his name falling from your lips over and over again.

He reached between your legs and started rubbing your clit, never slowing down his relentless, hard thrusts. The combined stimulation was almost too much for you and your orgasm was approaching fast.

“Don’t stop, please, just don’t stop.” You cried out, the pleasure running through your body like a wildfire.

“Look at me when you come, I want to see you. Look at me!” Jake growled, breathing hard as he sped up even more.

You hit your peak with a cry, sparks dancing over your skin as your walls clenched around Jakes cock. Your eyes were fixed on his, and he looked at you like you were the only person on the entire planet.

Seeing you come undone beneath him, Jake only lasted for another few deep thrusts before he came, shouting your name and spilling his hot release inside of you.

 He laid on top of you afterwards, his face on your shoulder, breathing deeply. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, and he turned his head to look at you.

“Hi” you said.

“Hi” he replied, your favorite smile spreading across his face again.

 “I liked that very much.” You said, pressing another kiss to his lips. He chuckled and propped himself up onto his arms with a small sight, rolling off you. Luckily, your sofa was large enough so you could comfortably lie next to each other.

“Me too, that was fantastic.” He replied and pulled you closer, putting his arm around you. You buried your face into his chest, soaking up the heat of his body and his wonderful smell.

 “Maybe you should come over more often.” You suggested, sounding a bit nervous again. You didn’t want to appear clingy. But this man had just rocked your world, and you couldn’t just act like nothing happened.

“I’ll come over whenever you want me to, sweetheart. Consider me at your beck and call.”

 “Stay the night?” you asked in a hopeful voice. You had work in the morning, but you just couldn’t imagine letting him go anywhere now.

He just nodded, smiled, and kissed you again. That soft, tingly feeling in your chest increased even more, and you just happily snuggled up to him.

 Later, as Jake was already asleep next to you, you took up your phone and sent a quick text message to Abby.

Next brunch is my treat! I owe you xxxx

[angelsndragons]

Day 1

Day 1 of the Caduceus Clay celebration week, folks, so you know what that means: I get to gush about my favorite character. I did warn y’all I would word vomit.

So, what does Caduceus mean to me? 

Well.

My brother lives in a separate state and has for several years now. We talked on the phone pretty much every day but we still missed each other a lot. One of the last things he did to me in person was introduce me to D&D. I loved it. It gave me a community away from home and a way to meet new people and form new friendships in new areas. I would tell him all about my weekly game shop adventures, he would tell me about the homebrew campaign he was in online. He also told me about this little show called Critical Role. I, like the dumb oldest sibling I can be, pretty much ignored it, outside letting him talk to me about it and engaging with it secondhand. Then, my brother’s party lost one of their players. They were down to four players and no full casters, just a gunslinger, a barbarian, a monk, and a non-healer warlock. Things started getting dicey. Like, really dicey. He worried with me over how close their fights were getting and how he felt it was only a matter of time until someone legit died and they couldn’t do anything about it. So, I asked, “Well, can you ask them if I could play? You’re looking for someone and we’re looking to try to do something together, it could work out.” Two years later, that campaign is going strong and (thankfully) no one has died yet.

I bring up this context because it matters: I rolled up a level 10 Grave Cleric. I had never played a cleric before but I had wanted to before my game shop sessions fell apart. And here I was, willingly thrown into the deep end of one of the most complex subclasses of one of the most complex classes in the game. And initially, I was not happy with it. Not just because there was a lot to learn but because of sheer mechanics. By rote, I could not keep up with the damage that the rest of my party was doing. At all. My high level spells weren’t doing much more damage than my freaking cantrips and I just felt stuck. I wanted to contribute outside of healing but really just couldn’t. I shared my frustrations with my brother, who, being the little troll he is, said, “Well, you know Critical Role has a Grave Cleric now, right?” So, to start this love fest, Caduceus taught me how to be a better cleric and because of that, I will never be able untangle the character from my relationship with my brother. Even if he died tomorrow or went evil or whatever, I would still be fond of him just for that.

I don’t remember which episode of campaign 2 I first watched all the way through. I know I started paying attention around Fjord’s chicken game and was fully on board with the series by Yasha’s loss in the pit fight. What I do remember is Caduceus. I remember being drawn in by this guy for some reason I still can’t articulate. 

Caduceus is a complex character who is difficult to fully understand and love. People have said unkind things about him, about how he is a glorified NPC or that he is boring or that there is just no ‘there’ there or that he should just go home already. I have seen people say that they think Taliesin should go back to the drawing board and come back with a ‘better’ character, one who vibes better with the group or something. And the sad thing is, I can kind of see where these people are coming from. Understanding Caduceus and what Taliesin is doing with him requires people to pay attention to him, to actively think about him both when he is and is not in the spotlight. And that is hard. Because Caduceus is that character who aggressively tries to divert attention from himself. So right away, we have this tension, this push/pull when it comes to engaging with him. And I do love me a challenge in my favorites. Also love the polite but judgmental assholes who have Opinions they would never say but nevertheless own.

For me, Caduceus’ arc has been about duty and desire, what duty means, how to prioritize yourself, and how to grow. Caduceus’ interrogation of identity as it relates to duty and his blossoming as a person fascinate me most. What is your duty, really? What does it mean to find balance in your life? How do you take down the walls you built to protect yourself? Where do you end and where does your duty begin? What does faith look like outside a strictly Western/Christian lens? Can we find ourselves in other people? What does it mean to grow beyond your wildest imagination and the people you love most?

Caduceus begins the show as a passive, apathetic shadow of a man who has cloaked those traits in duty in order to not deal with his feelings. He had basically grown up in a literal paradise on earth where the problems of the world couldn’t reach or affect him. Until they did. Until his family left. Until the Nein crashed into his temple. Caduceus makes the choice to basically leave paradise, at the Wildmother’s urging, sure, and experience the world in all its messy beauty and ugliness. It is nothing like he expected. It is hard, it is cruel, it tries to drown him at every opportunity. It is also good, the animals, the people, the experiences he has. Hearing Marion sing, learning of a lighthouse to the Wildmother (which he does not fully appreciate yet, this light in the dark storm). Caduceus spends his first chunk of episodes waking up, seeing life outside of paradise. I love these early episodes because they demonstrate just how far Caduceus has actually come (can’t imagine this guy buying an overly large pirate hat as a prank or helping the Traveler offload some followers through an elaborate ceremony, for example).

The crux of Caduceus’ midgame story right up until he saves his family is this: You’ve seen the world, young cleric, are you sure you want to continue to save it? You can go home and turn your back on all of this, what makes you stay in this imperfect world with these imperfect people? We see this a lot, in the questions he asks the Gentleman, in his insistence they save Yasha, in his newfound appreciation and companionship in Fjord, in making the Xhorhaus a home, in his dealings with the stone giants, in his determination to help Nott and her family. And this is the part that made me love him because Caduceus doesn’t shy away from these moments or tough questions. Like most of what he does, he contemplates them quietly and lets his actions speak for him. Caduceus allows himself to get involved, to become invested.

Caduceus’ new major arc is his realization that he is not just some vessel, some passive thing through which the Wildmother’s will will flow. No, he learns that he has to make choices, that he can affect change, and that if he wants this messy, beautiful world to get better, he is going to have to do something about it. Not just wait for Her to tell him it is okay. Taking ownership of his future and what that means to him have shaped Caduceus these last thirty or so episodes. Caduceus has blossomed so damn much. He continued with the Nein because he wanted to, and that led to the discovery of the Astral Sea City. (side note: Anyone want to take a gander what would be happening right now if Caduceus hadn’t been with them?) He not only felt his feelings towards the Nein, he began expressing them. From the man who refused to Scry or Send to his family to one who has a friend call up his sister and tell her he will be back, from the man who clung so tightly to his need to be useful to the Nein to one who openly declares how much he loves these people and how reluctant he is to leave them, from a man who wanted to save his home to one who is trying to save the whole damn world, from a man who couldn’t articulate his feelings if you threatened him to one who is trying so hard communicate, from a man who needed saving from his own apathy and grief to one who saves others, this is who Caduceus Clay has become and I for one am excited to see how the next 100 episodes influence him.

Also I cannot end this word vomit without mentioning the fact that Caduceus being aroace and so warm, loving, and caring is so damn important. Because it is; there are too many people out there who think aros/aces are loveless robots or fake or whatever. And having this person, this caregiver, this annoying little brother, this compassionate man, to hold up against that kind of hate, ignorance, and indifference means more than I will ever be able to express. 

[florbelles]

13~17 for Lyra and John?

thank you legend, i am once again sorry for my response time on this rip

xiii. what is their go-to for making a partner feel loved?

— this is something that's actually incredibly difficult for her; the enormity of it is something that nothing feels adequate to express. while she's very physically demonstrative, one of her greatest fears — particularly after he's gone — is that she never expressed it the right way, that he never understood, not really. she desperately hopes he does. she tells him, a thousand times, she is sorry for the way she is, even knowing that he loves her for it, even knowing that he knows what he chose. ( he did, of course, he tells her as much, but it still haunts her ).

she tries to makes him feel loved by what makes her feel loved; making sure he knows she sees him, understands him, accepts him completely and unconditionally. he doesn't need to be anyone else for her; he doesn't need to prove anything to her. she shows him she loves him by letting him simply be, by proving with time that she isn’t going anywhere, that she’s all in.

she shows him love the only ways she knows how. she's most comfortable expressing herself with her body, that she can give him, that she can do and do well ( sexually, yes, of course, but perhaps more pertinently — neither of them have an uncomplicated relationship or history with sex, elaborated on below under xv — with nonsexual signs of affection — running her thumb over his, nuzzling him when she comes up behind him, pressing her lips to his neck ). she’s always touching him if she’s near him. she’s extremely affectionate, both physically and verbally, especially in the mornings and at night when they’re lying limbs-twined.

the simplest answer is, however, synonymous with the answer to xv below; she expresses her love through her trust and willingness to render herself wholly vulnerable. she expresses it through quiet, subtle intimacies that might not be immediately evident to anyone who doesn’t know her ( it’s been stated many times before, but to lyra, the use of a first name and familiar language is the greatest sign of intimacy she can verbally give — her enemies are darling, her husband is john ). “hi, john” is her “i love you;” “i’m so glad it’s you” is her “i love you.”

xiv. what makes them feel loved? would they build up the courage to ask for it?

— the small efforts he makes to meet her at her level. when he says “you love me.” when he manages to drag his ass out of bed for her in the morning to watch the sunrise even though they’re on two hours and he needs his beauty sleep. she doesn't expect accommodation. she doesn't expect anything. one of her most prevailing thoughts early in their relationship is that it would have been enough for him to simply see and understand her; she would not have asked him not to hate her, she does not ask him not to forsake her, but he chose not to. he gave her acceptance. he gave her love. she would never in a thousand years ask for it.

for john, it’s that she lights up when she's around him — is truly simply that happy just to see him and be near him without needing or expecting anything from him, which isn’t something he’s necessarily had in his life from figures who aren’t obligated either by familial bonds or being his subordinates. she could not disguise it even if she wished. he will always make her flush. he will always make her stomach drop and her teeth flash and her eyes gleam. it is simply the way it is: it is incredibly fortunate they are not seen together by anyone outside of the project, because they would have known immediately. ( they do know immediately, when the time comes, before the end of everything ).

xv. what, for them, constitutes a level of intimacy that they would only rarely share with someone? this can be physical, emotional, etc.

— vulnerability, both emotional and physical.* quite literally, he is the only partner she's ever had that she has slept with, excepting some of her earliest girlfriends, generally bunkmates at school ( “i have never slept with a man in all my life!” is a favored gag of hers ). he is also the only partner with whom she hasn't kept her shoes or knives or some means of defense on her person ( john would argue the post-coital teeth and scratch marks he permanently wears make her true defenselessness sat any given time debatable, but it's the thought that counts! ).

( * for the sake of simplicity, this excludes all intimacy in relation to the project; while it’s obviously a major part of their relationship and a shared cause/belief system that deepens their bond, it’s complicated by the fact she would have joined the project and undergone those processes with or without him, whether or not they were lovers )

physical intimacy is, at first glance, something that is decisively not something only rarely shared, given that they both have hundreds of past sexual partners; they both have a complicated past with sex and their own respective baggage. john obviously has a history of self-medication and addiction that’s bound up with his demons and self-loathing; for lyra it's never been a particular vice — she has absolutely also used it to self-medicate in the past, usually as a way to blow off steam when her blood is running hot in a potentially more lethal direction, but it’s never been an instrument of self-destruction — an d is instead primarily is burdened with the fact that she used her sexuality to seduce targets; it's something she weaponized and exploited, so there are always going to be certain situations or circumstances she dislikes seeing john in ( she's reluctant to the prospect of restraining or binding him, for example, since she would use restraints on men she seduced with the intention of intimidating or killing them ). they both have associations they don't want to spill over onto the other.

having said that, the fact of that allows them a type of intimacy that might not be immediately evident to anyone else; she makes sure he knows he doesn't have to fuck her to hold her, he doesn't need to use his body to have that familiarity with her ( given that this is previously unexplored territory for the both of them, her saying so goes over about as well as can be expected — pardon him, he didn’t realize sex with him was such a fucking chore, sorry he is so sexually revolting, don’t do him any favors! — but they get there ).

sex is obviously still a big part of their relationship, and not one that john particularly feels the need to repent, since they’re married in all but name almost immediately and are married in fact within six weeks and otherwise has little difficulty john-justifying ( johnstifying, if you will ) it to himself ( she’s been entrusted to me, i’m bringing her closer to the project, she’s meant for me anyway, god brought her to me, this isn’t lust, she said so herself, this is a sanctioned union ), and she immediately casts off any notions of seducing or manipulating him as means of insinuating herself into the project’s protection ( it’s for this reason she stalls joining; she intends to right away, she believes joseph and desperately wants to believe that this is the reason and purpose for everything in her life up to this point, done both by and to her, but she flatly refuses until she can prove her complete commitment and good faith upfront, an opportunity afforded to her by the camera crew’s fortuitous arrival ) — this is also why she cuts off their first encounter and flees the ranch. she will never use her sexuality against him. in that sense, sex as a form of intimacy is reserved for each other.

( this is, in fact, how she knows she loves him; for all of her extensive sexual history, she has never actually wanted someone — not just release with them, not just a physical attraction to them — she is in fact unsettled on whether or not she is attracted to john physically; he's the most beautiful creature alive to her, but that's because he's him, she loves his nose because it's his nose, she loves his eyes because they're his eyes, his skin because it’s his skin — but actually him. she knew she had to have him. )

xvi. if they had the ability to just spend free time with their partner, what would they do? would they go out or stay inside?

— stay in ( not necessarily literally within the confines of their home, but within their own space ). lyra will probably coax him outside at some point because she doesn't feel right if she's indoors all day, regardless of the weather — no, the first seven years of the collapse are not looking well for her, thank you — but they won't necessarily stray from each other's companionship. if it's a day off, joseph is probably giving them space ( this is also his day off from their shared existence, how wonderful to be able to attend to the rest of the flock without worrying about what problems they're causing on purpose ), so while they'll occasionally have the company of one of their family members, it's more likely to simply be the two of them, possibly with the company of some of their closest inner-circle ( shaggy, holly, shaggy’s brother matthew, a few of their select chosen who are assigned to the ranch ) in the evening if lyra decides she wants a bonfire. otherwise, they take full advantage of their ability to absolutely nothing but laze around and talk and make love.

xvii. under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?

— this almost never happens, since they’re more inclined towards separation anxiety than a need for space, but lyra is the most likely to want it when she needs to sort out her mental state or let her fuse burn down ( like the time she locked herself in the shower to cry for an hour because he loved her or if they’re in an especially heated argument and she needs to clear her head before she says or does something she’ll regret). she rarely does so, however; she’s aware that from his perspective her walking out on him, no matter how temporary or how rationally he knows she’s coming back, exacerbates his angst and triggers his insecurities.

[fursasaida]

Would love to hear about all of the ways ppl misunderstand HG (if you feel like it)

i’m doing this as bullets bc i don’t have the oomph to like write it out properly

they think the socioeconomic specialization of the 12(+1) districts is the typical thing of like, “i will construct a wholly implausible society that’s about putting people in totalitarian versions of thinly disguised hogwarts houses so i can show how my heroine is Special and Unique” instead of like, a specifically elaborated form of oppression by the capitol that shows how aestheticized the political economy is. it’s not that most people in panem really believe everyone from District 4 (? IIRC) is suited as a person to fishing, or whatever. it’s that the capitol said “you produce this and only this for us, how much we value that commodity category determines your value, and that is all you are” and this is completely interwoven with the spectacle of control that is the Games. (the Games are basically a dramatization of territorial control but wah wah wah “battle royale ripoff” wah wah shut up.) it’s actually a very interesting political economy concept which i could go on about at length but i value my life

due to the above they think Katniss is supposed to go on the usual character arc of Doesn’t Fit In --> Discontent --> Dismantle the System and Be Happy

this causes them to complain both that she doesn’t change enough (first of all, she does change, just not in the way they expect; and second, the ways she doesn’t change are part of the POINT! this isn’t a story of personal transformation! it’s about political change!) and that she’s too like sad or limp or whatever later on. IT’S A VERY GOOD DEPICTION OF TRAUMA, SHUT UP.

they complain that the ending is “unsatisfying.”

of course the ending is “unsatisfying,” because the political change that occurred is incomplete and nuanced, and also, she still has all that trauma, there is a cost, the whole thematic backbone of the series is “internalize the externalities/make the invisible costs visible.” it’s the interplay between the hypervisibility of spectacle and the extraction of people’s time, bodies, wealth, relationships--their lives--that it both relies on and hides.

relatedly, people think katniss shooting whatsername at the end is some kind of unjustified twist. i don’t know what to say about this. i throw up my hands. WERE YOU PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL.

does anyone think about what the story is actually about? they do not. ("no one” is an exaggeration, i just mean the people i’m mad at)

the love triangle. oh my god. again people just take this as a “typical YA” thing of like, let me show how desirable and special my heroine is by having both the boys want her!! it is not that at all. Gale and Peeta stand in for different sides of her personality and respectively bring those sides out in her. her being torn between them is in fact where the “personal change” aspect of the story happens.

both of them are very strategic thinkers but in entirely different registers, and they value different things. she has much more in common with Gale at the beginning (on the surface), and her choice to see the value in Peeta’s way of thinking and do the very hard work of developing those capacities and responses in herself is her choice about who she wants to be and whether she values a reversal of power (Gale) or actually improving society (Peeta). whether being a ~rebellious hunter~ or being a caretaker (the reason, remember, she did the illegal hunting in the first place!) is more important to her.

they are both from her home district and people she’d known before the games because, again, these are qualities/tendencies she already possessed; choosing which to turn toward and develop in herself is the personal aspect of the political story.

and it is not a coincidence that it’s after the total dissociation and alienation she experiences in being made an aesthetic spectacle qua ~rebel by District 13 that she does the incredibly difficult, steadfast, further-traumatizing work of helping bring Peeta back to himself and so to her. the ending doesn’t happen without her whole process of negotiating her relationships with those two characters.

but these people don’t understand the ending anyway so i don’t know what i was expecting

this is called good writing and it’s an extremely valid way to develop and use supporting characters

god i could scream

Suzanne Collins’ origin story for this series, about channel-flipping between reality TV and coverage of the Iraq War, really just puts it all out there for you and these people ignore this! if they even know about it they just take it as like, “what if i put this thing on this other thing.” but she is getting at something very real with that! she is saying that both war and entertainment are spectacle-generating machines, fueled by inequality and the bodies of young people, that maintain power structures. (the big thing THG is really missing here is how this works internationally because there just aren’t any other countries in its world.)

[redacted: extremely over the top musing about race and class intersections in re: the unequal distribution of exposure to premature death and how intentional Collins was or wasn’t in getting what she got right right and what she got wrong wrong]

a few years back i was watching The Voice (leave me alone) and they had this whole ~storyline about a girl (i think 19 tops?) from a tiny, tiny rural Southern town, who was too stage-fright-y to perform to her potential. every week the judges would tell her she disappointed and every week her coach would save her because, he kept saying, he still had faith she could deliver. (she was fine but they had a Narrative to construct.) and then one week magically they changed up her makeup and clothes to make her much more overtly sexy, but in this like fucked-up babydoll innocent way, and lo and behold she discovered her confidence and wowed everyone. who could have predicted!!

I remember another contestant on The Voice who was literally there to try to get to a point where he would be able to get his family back into housing after flooding destroyed their home in i can’t even remember which (socio)natural disaster.

like that is just literally how the hunger games work. the promise is that this is a rare route to economic mobility. it requires a dramatic makeover, patronage, all of it. the makeover involves being essentialized as a citizen-type, a national subject that fits into a particular box (rural/urban, gendered, raced, etc--all of them are just entertaining backstories and narrative handles for the audience). this is a violent process, however visual and symbolic it may be via reality TV. it remains a process on which your odds as a contestant depend completely. and of course no one has heard from either of these people i mentioned since, because there can only be one winner; and even if you win, you can still lose the game of being a winner. no one asks what happens to them when it’s over, much like many people don’t really think about military veterans. if you think about the post-games life of the winners in THG, they are literally what you get if you imagine a military veteran and a D-list celebrity being the same person. reality TV already IS a gladiators’ arena where people ARE fighting for their lives. the violence is just sublimated. like i said. internalize and visibilize the costs.

(there is something here too, in the overlap of spectacle, about how the contemporary US treats its soldiers more as signifiers, high priests of civic nationalism, and/or sin-eaters than as people. similarly reality TV contestants come to stand for certain archetypes of the nation.)