#their mum literally went: my child is talking about their feelings more when they come back from your place & you have trauma!

[eagans-world]

Somthing unfortunate happened so time to make a joke about it!

I am now officially Romeo, i can only hope mine & my partners fate will not be as tragic.

[justzawe]

Zawe Ashton Covers AMAZING Magazine | Issue 4

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

[roxynmae]

Hey I'm the og spider is the bio kid of jake anon and I'm LOVING the responses to this sooooo much!!!

My brain went down the route of in the wreckage of the ships some tablets got washed up and still worked. Jake gets spider to log into his old account to see in it still works (spider has small enough fingers to type) and they log in and it's like all of jake old phone, like videos of the past, old texts, his music library everything and it's like very fun - until norm points out that there is an unread message.

And it's a video message from spiders biological mum, who speaks French or smth (I live the idea that jake speaks French for some reason idk, and she chooses to tell the message in French because she knows none of the other crewmates speak it.) She tells him in the message that she knows what's coming and that she won't drag the baby into being blackmail, so they lied and said that Paz was pregs and that the bio mum was her support when it was born. Had to choose quaritch for the birth certificate bc he was the only man paz had slept with in the right time period. Idk I love the idea that she actually lived and went back to earth, and that somewhere in the message she says 'I know you might not get this but even if you don't know that he's yours I don't imagine you'll leave a kid to be raised by scientists, give him a good life jake'.

And it's just jake blank stare because oh my god that's her hair and his eyes and his mums nose and how the fuck didn't he see this before. I like to imagine a point of conflict being that he tells neytiri before spider

I'm not the biggest quaritch and Spider fan so I don't imagine he would run to him, but I do like what you wrote on neyteyam, and how he would be pretty skeptical of his dad's behaviour. I feel like spider would be much the same once the honeymoon period is over

Idk about neytiri, I imagine she would be pissed but I also think that she would accept him (maybe not as her own kid but as a stepchild) because she still has a feeling that this sort of thing would be eywas will, that the first human child would be born of toruk macto

Jake, I may be in the minority bc spider tumblr loves quaritch, but I think he could be an amazing dad he just has to make the decision to do better and not wallow in his own guilt. He would have alot of work to do, but I think he could do it (if he pulls his head out on his ass)

But yeah!!! Tell me what you think xxx

Wow! Thank you I’m loving this AU so much!

Them finding the message and only Jake understanding is a really good idea! It also makes for an interesting interaction with all the ones around him at the moment. And he as to lie his way out of the situation until he figures how to deal with the situation. The man literally froze into place, all that he himself had done and what he let other do to Spider downing on him. Her last words making him feel ashamed, how could he be such a horrible man?

Now I don’t see her surviving only because why wouldn’t she try to talk to Jake directly? Going to him, telling him the truth, she did all of this to protect their child I don’t see her wanting to be away from him.

I’m happy that you agree on how Neteyam would take the news. The boy truly feels lost at the moment, he grows resentment towards Spider, in his eyes now he lost his spot as first born, the rift between him and his siblings is getting bigger by the day and he truly feels as if he only has his mom left. He won’t even look at his dad in the eyes, Neteyam feels betrayed by him.

Neytiri is constantly trying to forget Jake’s past as a human and now Spider is the biggest reminder. It’s not going to get better, actually I see her getting even more antagonistic considering how Neteyam has taken the news.

Now for the dad situation, I have to admit my bias towards Quaritch, I love him as Spider’s dad and I don’t think Jake deserves this kid, not that he deserves his other children. Jake would need to do some serious work towards his whole family, because in my opinion as things stand he failed both as a father and as a husband.

[zawescource]

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

[lulushults]

wrote something like this about natsu, now for my best girl lucy💖

i could honestly write on and on about lucy and how i think her past really was and how it truly affected her, so i’ll try to keep this short!

lucy’s childhood starting normal for her, she had 2 loving parents that did everything to ensure her happiness. then her mum died, and her life kinda went to shit.

lucy didn’t just lose one parent the day layla died, she lost both. jude started being neglectful and from the handful of short scenes we see in the anime slightly mentally abusive towards lucy.

i believe this was because of multiple reasons. number 1 because of lucy’s similar resemblance to layla. from what we’re shown it seems like layla and jude were incredibly in love even before they had lucy, to me it seems like after layla died he couldnt bare to look, or be around lucy due to how similar they looked. it caused him too much pain to be constantly reminded that layla was gone and she was never coming back.

number 2 pretty much links into the previous one, i think because of how much pain laylas death caused him he isolated himself to throw himself into his work to avoid facing the reality that was layla’s death.

however, for lucy to be 10 years old after just losing her mother, and then for her father to start acting like he doesnt give a shit about her, that must have been so confusing for her. to have your life completely flipped on its head within a couple of days probably led lucy to be so confused as to why jude wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

lucy was pretty much isolated from the outside world entirely, she had no friends her age, wasn’t allowed to attend school and therefore had to spend all day every day entertaining herself because she had no one to play with. not only this but she also had no one to talk to about how she was feeling at such a young age, she had no one to confide in and ask why her dad didn’t love her anymore, no shoulders to cry on, nothing.

this may be a personal headcannon of mine, but i believe lucys mental health as a young child was incredibly bad. to spend 6 long years almost entirely alone with no friends can for sure have long lasting effects. the reason why lucy was probably so sure about running away and living on her own was probably because she had already been raising herself for so many years beforehand, so whats the difference if she actually left.

lucy could have also blamed herself for judes behaviour, thinking that she had done something wrong to make him so mad at her all the time.

lucy, also, so obviously has intense abandonment issues. the way i see it, she’s been alone for so long that now she finally has friends and a family that care about her again, she never wants to let them ago. that would also explain why she was so heartbroken about natsu leaving her for a year, and if i remember correctly im pretty sure in the dub she literally says ‘i will be lonely’ when shes running after him.

i think her abandonment issues are more closesly related to natsu and happy than the entire guild however. natsu and happy were her first real friends her age, natsu helped her too reach her dream after knowing her for about a day without a second thought, she owes everything to him. i think the idea of her first real friend leaving her to be alone again absolutely breaks her heart.

my poor girl probably has so much going on in her head that she doesn’t want to remember. i can’t begin to imagine how horrible it must be for a 10 year old girl to be completely abandoned by her father after losing her mother. i really see myself in lucy, ive spent alot of my life with no friends so its easy for me to identify how horrific it makes you feel.

lucy may even struggle with her mental health outside of her past, for her to join the strongest team in fairy tail after every other member had been training since they were kids. for her to be surrounded by people who can so easily defend themselves in a fight when she could hardly hold her own and depended so much on her spirits thats sure to cause other issues. to feel like your the weak one in the group holding everyone back can cause so much guilt without even realising. (before anyone thinks it, im a lucy stan and im proud of her growth as a mage, im only talking about how she was when she first joined the guild)

lucy also, atleast around the beginning of the show, hated being connected to the heartfilia family. she point blank refused to let anyone outside of the guild know who she really was. theres a large possibility that if people were to find out her full name, some people around the world would resent lucy for joining a guild, thinking that shes selfish for taking jobs to earn even more money. lets not forget the time the guild belitted her behind her back for pretty much this exact thing, calling her a brat.

the way i see it, one of the reasons lucy was so infatuated with fairy tail growing up was probably because of their obvious connection with one another. she craved for a home, for people to love and care for her just like how her mother did before she passed. she craved love from other people after being shunned from her own father for so long.

before i shut my mouth, i’ll touch on something that i think pretty much every lucy fan is aware of and thats the reason behind why she dresses the way she does. her entire life lucy was forced into stuffy dresses she very clearly did not enjoy wearing and was told she wasn’t allowed to show any skin as its not ‘lady like’. lucy dresses she way she does to show her recent independence and escape from such a strictly ruled environment. to go from showing no skin at all, to wearing shorts skirts and little crop tops, shows that it’s her way of trying to re-discover herself after being bossed anound and told what to do and wear for so long.

[greywoe]

some thoughts on that first episode bc i might as well

- that first scene in the north did not make me very happy… maybe it’s just me who likes negotiations but i was looking forward to Jace’s World Tour of North/Eastern Westeros and his talks and bargains with the different houses (especially lady jeyne! i guess i can understand why they cut it out but i think when it comes to her there’s material to build an interesting character from, but whatever. another arryn L i guess :(), but what did we get but one (1) scene at the wall for some reason. i mean i like the night’s watch as much as the next person but this just felt like straight up GoT fanservice… like what does the threat beyond the wall have to do with this conflict? they could at least have given us some parley but there was barely anything of that either. cregan stark’s going to be important later so i thought they’d do more to establish him as a character now. but literally the next scene we see jace in he’s back at dragonstone….. ok (tho i guess they could return to the north later? idk we’ll see) (also, i care less for the sara snow subplot but i was sure they would do something with it since they love to go with the juicy stuff like forbidden love and whatnot)

- on that note i expect they’re going the singers’ route with erryk and arryk which i don’t really care for (they need to make me care more for those characters first) but it makes sense

- i’m ashamed of the fact that the alyn reveal made me go “ahh” aloud and my mum (who hasn’t read f&b) went “what???” and i just vaguely waved it off because it’s so annoying when people do that and i try not to but… i was surprised they introduced him so early

- aegon ii keeps being the most entertaining character on the show and he was the highlight to me. thank you for bringing a tinge of comedy. i’d say keep it up, but… well

- this is old discourse but i don’t have much of a problem with them showing alicent being groomed and manipulated in the show which probably makes her seem more sympathetic to viewers (and i can’t help but fall for every instance the lingering and complex feelings between her and rhaenyra that still clearly affect her come up) but now i’d like to see her being more active. i liked her confronting otto but (so far) for the most part she seemed a bit uninvolved and inactive (except for the sex scenes with criston… -_- which i guess are intended to bite them in the ass later which is why it’s continuously brought up, but so far i do not care for it). i just want to see her contributing more of her own i guess. but there’s plenty of time for that in the upcoming episodes, especially now after the death of another child 😔

- i sure hope we get to see more of baela and rhaena. this was only the first episode, i will have hope in my heart

- helaena’s line about being scared of the rats felt like clever foreshadowing when i heard it, except that the blood & cheese thing happened just a few scenes later……. suddenly it didn’t feel so clever anymore, nobody will have forgotten it at that point (the best foreshadowing imo is stuff that you maybe don’t notice at first and only catch on your rewatch)

- and about that, as relieved as i am about the violence being toned down, reading the book the whole “damning one child to die but the other one is slain, so now you and your child have to live with the fact that you named him to be killed” business was very impactful so i’m a bit disappointed nonetheless. for a show that so clearly opts for emotional impact, i mean… though i suppose cutting a kid or two out is understandable. but the way they made a whole deal about not knowing the sex of the twins (and the assassins being surprisingly gentlemanly about it lol) made me wonder if they mean to do a big plot twist where helaena was lying about it and actually rescued jaehaerys, but also that (unnecessarily) changes some things and what would be the point of that. 🤔 i did really like helaena’s acting during the scene though, opting for pure shock and dissociation rather than making it a dramatic tearfest. i like helaena as a character too, from what little we have seen of her anyway, and i wish she’d had more moments previously in the show so that we as viewers would be even more emotionally connected to her, but she gets pretty sidelined in comparison to her brothers. we don’t get to know much about her in the book so i feel like that’s what the show is for! expanding upon the book!

[sub-at-omicsteminist]

Why are you atheist??

I’ve been staring at this ask for a while now since it’s such an odd thing to just ask and I was trying to figure out when I’ve ever mentioned religion so I can answer in response to what they’ve seen but I don’t know when I’ve mentioned it.

I’ve never been a person of faith, I remember in year 2 (6/7 years of age) I was at a school Mass and I realised everyone else around me believed what was being said whereas I thought what was happening was just another story. I’ve always took religious teachings as stories to teach morals and guidance but I never took them literally.

I used to attended a Greek Orthodox church on Sundays and I’m christened Greek Orthodox and I didn’t mind it because the priest was a lovely person. He would say things like Science is the pursuit of understanding Gods creation and he would talk about how important education is. But the thing that stood out to me was he once said being trans isn’t a sin, it’s the journey God planned for that Individual. So when I was younger I wasn’t aware of the more homophobic and transphobic sides of religion.

It wasn’t until I started attending the Catholic secondary that I realised that some people used religion to back up ideas of hate and I became very anti Christian and stopped attending church because as a young Queer kid the bullying and being told I’m going to hell all the time really got to me.

My mum also became very unwell, she has a chronic illness amongst many other disabilities so I also thought if there is a God he doesn’t care because why would he make a child watch there mother slowly die and loose her mind and become abusive.

I loved talking to my friends about their religions though, I’ve always been fascinated with beliefs and faith because I’ve never had any. I partook in Ramadan one year to support my friend who was finding it hard and their family invited me to Iftar and I really respected how important their faith must be for them to do this because it was very difficult. Another experience I won’t forget was watching my friends mum create a Rangoli because she put so much care and attention into it and it is still one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen because of that care that went into it.

But it wasn’t until I was 17 I started recognising not all religious people are oppressive, some people use it for oppression but if you take people individually who believe in it that’s not a bad thing.

But there are still things I don’t like, for an example at my secondary we were put into religious houses and mine was house Vanier, turns out that guy was an awful person. His name is Jean Vanier if anyone wants to look him up but it’s just disgusting. Also the priest at the Catholic Church closest to where I live was found out to be preying on children, I have no idea what happened to him in the end but it was a big deal in my town. I also live near some Jehovah’s witnesses who for a month straight harassed me after pride because I assume they saw me coming home with pride face paint and stickers on and I had leaflets about sinning coming through the letter box constantly, and even now they still bang loudly on my door to preach when I’ve explained me, my mum and dad all have diagnosed ptsd and find it distressing. My RE teacher also told our class how he pressured his friend who was SA’d into keeping her baby and he was so proud of himself and it made me feel sick, he did loose his job because he told a student they’ll die and go to hell if they take the pill even though they were taking it for medical reasons.

That’s the part of religion I hate, it’s those individuals I hate. I don’t hate religion or people who practice religion but I hate the fact those things happened.

One of the kindest adults in my life was the school Chaplin, she told me she prayed everyday for my mum to get better and she prayed for me during my exams. I spent a lot of time in the chapel because it was quiet when I was having panic attacks and she used to just sit with me and talk me through them.

I’ve lost track of what I’ve written but

I’m not anti religion. Me not being a religious person isn’t anti religion. I’m anti people using religion as an excuse to be horrible to others.

I’ve just never had any sort of beliefs, in my mind everything is just a coincidence. I don’t believe in an after life, ghosts, superstitions or anything like that either. But that’s who I am and I don’t think that should offend anyone. But I also know I could be wrong and I can’t tell anyone their religion is wrong or right because I simply don’t know that.

I think I prefer the term agnostic (a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God) over atheist because it’s as simple as I don’t know but I don’t think anyone is wrong for having faith.

But also I want to add I’m a white person talking about religion and my experience, all over the world people have different experiences so it doesn’t actually matter what I say. I’m just answering an ask and if you ever want to talk to me about religion I’m always happy to.

[edge-oftheworld]

13 fave Delta Goodrem deep cuts? (not singles and possibly b-sides)

anon I’m gonna be perfectly honest I googled what deep cuts are and I still don’t think I understand the definition. but like you mean underrated songs and moments the fans all know?? I’m pretty sure that’s wrong but I’m gonna answer it anyway

(also funnily enough I’ve been meaning to make a delta goodrem blog for a while now, trying to connect with other fans on here, wondering if I can do it with my existing two blogs!)

Technically a single but her 2001 (?) cover of I don’t care was her first music industry thing! she was 16 at the time. it’s very 90s and teenage rebellion vibes! 3 years later delta would go on to write her own song a little too late, which deals with similar themes and is an absolute BOP

She was named after the song delta lady by joe cocker and she references it in her songs billionaire and back in 84 and also I THINK it’s the ‘old song when it comes on the radio I’ve gotta pull over cause it makes me feel like I’m home’ in her song touch

ive been saying the same thing about 5sos but she’s an absolute queen at songs in triple time to give them that extra edge! mistaken identity is in 3, sanctuary is in 6/8 (both off her album mistaken identity), safe to believe off child of the universe is in a fast waltz, and iirc so is rise which is a b-side off wish you were here from the same era. there are probably more off her other albums but I can’t remember

she features in at least 2 songs with her ex brian mcfadden from the 2000s: mistakes and hollow no more (which fun fact is in 6/8 iirc) which are a toxic relationship bop and super cute emotional love song respectively. this vibe captures all the songs they co-wrote during their 7 year relationship, from almost here off mistaken identity which he features on, to about half of her 2007 album delta including woman, which he sings backup vocals for

ive said it before but not on this blog (on my main faithfromanewperspective since I’m not sure where I talk about delta more) but when they broke up it was joever for this fandom! not that I knew any other fans at the time except my mum but looking back I know

you can figure this out by listening to innocent eyes but she started music on the piano! and actually she didn’t learn to play guitar until almost a decade into her career, in time to write her 2012 album child of the universe. you can hear how there’s more guitars on it! but she still generally prefers piano and strings. actually in her song one day (in which she tries out rapping in the bridge and doesn’t do a bad job of it!) she talks about stopping procrastinating and learning to play the guitar, speak Japanese, and move onto the next stage in her relationship. what a vibe

a lot of mistaken identity (which turns 20 in about a week! can you believe that?) is about her experience with hodgkins lymphoma which is awful to go through at 18-19 (and wonderful to see how healthy she’s been in the 20 years since) but it’s always been uncanny to me how as someone who never went through any of that, how relatable it is! out of the blue is about finding love as a surprise, the analyst is the anthem of every overthinker, every person who spends their life watching and noticing, mistaken identity is about becoming yourself rather than peoples expectation of you (especially when you literally can’t be the same person anymore, eg losing long golden hair to chemo) sanctuary is about finding someone you feel safe with, a little too late is about feeling overprotected and wanting to make your own decisions, etc. I highly recommend listening to the album in full with the bonus tracks!

speaking of mistaken identity, disorientated is a fan favourite in which she uses muffled voices in the track a bit like Luke does in a beautiful dream! she’s always really creative and likes to do new things, but tends to come back to a style that’s easy to pick as hers. for example in heavy off wings of the wild, she randomly just sings really fast in the bridge and it’s an absolute emotional bop. sounds like when your thoughts are racing yk? the transition into the last chorus after that is one of my favourite moments in music ever

also speaking of mistaken identity, her songwriting skills and rhythms she was able to write at such a young age astonish me. I was writing out the score of fragile, another fan favourite, for my cousin yesterday (as you do! there’s nothing online and she liked it when I played it so I made sheet music off what I was playing by ear) and the syncopation made it really hard to count out but it WORKS. so well. dm me if you want the score

she likes to randomly release singles! the score is the name of one of her more recent ones from maybe 2017 (she’s been in the industry a long time! it’s relatively recent) and I almost swear I heard it playing in a 5sos livestream once. I could be wrong. she also likes to hide non album tracks as b-sides for her singles. like she genuinely could have a whole album of b-sides in every era for doing this. but it’s better than leaving them in the vault! daughter is still one of my all time favourite songs ever and you and you alone is a beautiful love song too

she tends to repeat similar themes in her songwriting in VERY sonically and lyrically different songs across her discography. my sister and I used to trace them back and see if certain themes had a song from every album (rarely is there more than one on the same album, but then again when my stars come out shares themes from both knocked out and sitting on top of the world). anyway, running away is thematically similar to mistaken identity. born to try is to a little too late. electric storm and war on love. be strong and I’m not giving up. there are a dozen more pairs and groups like this if you look for them

sometimes she likes to leave some of her best songs to only be on the itunes version of her albums! which is incredibly annoying as a cd collector. for example nobody listened off mistaken identity, right here in my heart off delta, my personal favourites alcohol and no communication off child of the universe—I think she’s gotten better with her more recent releases but innocent eyes had a JAPAN VERSION which never fades away and flawed (both amazing songs; I especially love the bridge of flawed) are exclusively found on. I obviously have the mp3s all downloaded from a sketchy site in the 2010s but they are playable with no viruses and I will happily send them to anyone who can’t access them otherwise

queen of pre-choruses (ie dwabh, encore) short bridges (as opposed to long bridges, because no one can top taylor, but delta tends to have really poignant relatively short bridges, think fragile, flawed, sanctuary, extraordinary day) especially in her older songs. and SONG TRANSITIONS! listen to delta in full and PAY ATTENTION to where it switches from believe again to in this life. God laughs to you will only break my heart. everything through the quiet set in the middle out to the start of brave face on the other side. the start of one day. did I mention the start of possessionless? anyway I learned how to create playlists from analysing her album orders in so much detail when I was meant to be doing my schoolwork in high school. literally no one does it like her!! but hey I keep thinking I can hear the sydney influence in songwriting so maybe some of our other beloved artists will deliver? which leads me to my bonus fact! she’s from a ~20min drive east from the general area 5sos are from! a much wealthier (read: less poor) area but still extremely close by and I like to think there’s something in their songwriting we can hear of it, not only from them but other artists I know from a similar area. I could just be imagining it though

[myaquariusheart]

21/4

So I missed a few days but ngl I've been super busy. Most importantly I got my nails done so now I feel like a bad bitch when I'm typing. I got pink with green French tips. I tried to go for a JoJo style. Anyway Uni on Thursday was good, I mostly chilled and didn't get much work done. I think I spoke more about getting work done than actually doing it. Monday is the presentation and shit I am not ready... Why did I do this to myself? After Uni I went to number 10, and Cake picked me up from the station, we went on a shopping spree and we got so many Krispy Kreme doughnuts it was unbelievable. Then everyone (the adults) went to Green Street to celebrate Eid. So me, H, Alv and Cake ordered some giant pizzas, watched Wild Child, and chilled. I was sooo sleepy that night I fell asleep and Alv was still awake, I feel bad and just remember telling her to watch Youtube till she falls asleep. I don't even remember Mum or Dad taking her. So yes, Eid Mubarak for today, I had work in the morning, it wasn't too busy but it went fast. There were a lot of Crispy Chicken orders and I just ate a lot of Mushroom Soup, it was so good. Then I went to get my nails done and treated myself to some new makeup which I used today for my Eid look. We went to Mejus house after so long. Everyone was super nervous and there was a lot of mixed emotions. I was very relaxed and didn't feel too bad about the situation but it was good I guess. The food was really yummy and everyone was being kind. They had 2 cats which were absolutely adorable. It was so nice seeing everyone today, all the cousins were together literally. I feel like I haven't felt any overwhelming feelings in the last few days but its mostly because I've been surrounded by people and I'm able to ignore every feeling, negative, that comes to me. Being around people actually makes me feel less anxious and makes me think less. I used to love love being by myself, but usually after being with people for a long period of time I needed some time alone but I'm finding myself being better, mentally, and surrounded by more people. People I want to be around though, and the ones who make me happy so it's mostly positive emotions. I also think i need a goodnight's sleep and there's currently a ringing in my ear which is bothering me a lot really. I need to google what that means. I feel like I'm talking rubbish and I want to write but there's nothing going on in my brain right now.

[newtonsheffield]

Molly!! What are you main thoughts on the season?? Other than incoherently screaming about how amazing Jonny and Simone were??

Okay, OKAY

I don't even have time to get into the fact that I was not prepared for this season. I wasn't. I'm still so-

I can barely put my thoughts into order and if you wanna know how rough it was to have to put up with my unbridled thoughts @jeanvanjer and I did our first watch together and... She had to put up with a lot

I'm considering doing episode by episode videos if anyone wants to see that

Their first meeting! Oh my god! Anthony was simping from the off, and Kate definitely thought he was cute. The look on her face when she pointed out that she knew him. And she said he was Handsome. Oh she really liked you babe, she followed you outside to talk to you. And Oh my god. Anthony. When I heard what he was saying about his future wife, I was absolutely not surprised that Kate read him to filth. Fucking drag him babe, he deserves it.

I really feel like all the Bridgertons got time to shine this season. Even Greg and Hyacinth. Anthony talking about child bearing hips in front of Greg had me cackling

I really liked the idea that Kate had been so desperate to provide for Edwina and Mary that she contacted people that would never accept her. And the idea that as long as Mary and Edwina are happy and cared for, she would be content to live alone, seperate from them, as though she never saw herself as a member of their family at all. The first time Kate called Mary Mama I gasped.

Newton, my beloved. Greggy barked in greeting the first time he saw Newton and-

Philippa and Mr Finch have my whole heart. Mr and Mrs Cheese forever.

The Ascot scene made me cackle, very Ten Things I Hate About You of Anthony, to use Dorset like that. But Dorset, baby, come through

Eloise was a huge mood this morning, 100% me when my Mum takes me to parties.

Think one of my biggest complaints this season is that a lot of the content that should have been Mary's went to Lady Danbury. I had heard that mary was a little unfeeling towards Kate and I didn';t find that to be the case. In the scene where mary is harshest to kate, After Anthony basically just interrupted his wedding to help Kate, she was 1) taken by surprise 2) faced with the impossible situation of needing to comfort both daughters. The scene between Mary and Kate in episode 8 had me in tears. Mary telling her she doesn't have to earn her love at all. And the tears in Kate's eyes and the way she cried when she said He does not love me Mama like, Simone Ashley give me some space to BREATHE

Let's discuss Edwina. I loved her. I think a little too much of her growth was tied to Anthony in a way but I liked it anyway. Let me just say: I am a younger sister too and if I hd just been publicly embarrassed, lied to months, years, about why we were even there in the first place, and then found out my sister was in love with my fiancé I would be upset as well. I would be mad and a little petty. Edwina is human. And as for her calling Kate her half-sister babe, you could not have made a more sister move right then. My sister told me I was adopted like every day for 6 years. And I love her to death. And as soon as she realised that Kate tried to fight this, that it wasn't just an infatuation, it was real love, She was supportive. Charithra was incredible in that scene. A born fucking star.

PALL MALL i loved the changes they made to it. Anthony getting upset near Edmund's grave gave such understanding between them. And it was beautiful. Also the way the Kate's hair started falling out of its pins literally as she was playing. Loosening up, falling in love with him. The symbolism.

I have been really critical of Violet's relationship with Anthony, but this season. My god, this season. The way she slowly opened to him and he to her, that scene with Gregory wrecked me.

Prudence Featherington was hilarious. Get that girl a spinoff. Jack and Portia: I continue not to care for the Featherington Drama at all.

Every single flashback to Edmund was the most painful thing I have ever witnessed. The scene of Violet giving birth to Hyacinth, I had tears running down my face and now I want a parallel scene of Kate giving birth to Edmund next season, because Anthony will be so scared, so worried.

DAPHNE MISTAKING KATE FOR EDWINA BECAUSE OF HOW THEY ARE TOGETHER

THE BEE SCENE. OH MY GOD THE BEE SCENE. THE WAY SHE LET HIM FEEL HER HEARTBEAT THE WAY I KNOW WHENEVER HE PANICS SHE CALMS HIM DOW JUST OIKE THIS FUCKING CHRIST

Every single time Kate and Anthony were alone together I was breathless, I cannot handle the way they danced. The scene in the library afterwards. Their lips didn't even touch and my heart was pounding. The way he spiralled because he found out she wasn't staying, and he wasn't ready to say why but he couldn't help himself

The fact that it's implied Kate hasn't married because she was focused on raising Edwina so they could be provided for. Break my heart six ways to sunday.

The Sheffields can eat glass. Giles from Buffy I am so disappointed in you. But MARY come through with protecting Kate. Anthony as well.

Holy god, that scene where Anthony practically begs Kate to see that he can't marry Edwina because he would never stop thinking about her. You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires. Do you even know all the ways a woman can be seduced? I WOULD LIKE TO FIND OUT ANTHONY

I have no idea what people were talking about when they said this season wasn't as Sexy. The last four episodes I barely fucking breathed. Their Dance scene were more intimate than most of mainstream media.

Kate begging Anthony to marry Edwina broke me. It broke me. The way you know he's going through with it because Kate asked him to. Oh Kate, You Stupid Walrus (Affectionate)

I was stressed the whole of episode 6. When Anthony imagined Kate as his bride I couldn't breathe, the look on Kate's face this entire episode. My God. When he bent to get her bangle. And I think this is the moment Edwina realised because this was the first time she couldn't pretend he was looking at her instead.

THAT KISS. THAT FUCKING KISS! My cheeks were warm. I was blushing in my living room like a fucking idiot.

I think it was obvious that, Mary just didn't know what to do, what to say to Kate about Anthony, especially because Kate wouldn't talk about it.

The Was I truly so blind?! scene made me cackle. Anthony just staring at the tiddies right in front of his jilted fiancée and both their mother's. I never thought they'd actually bring up the LILIES WHEN I SAY I SCREAMED

The way it was obvious that Anthony wanted Kate and he didn't care, but she kept pushing him back.

ANTHONY DANCING WITH HYACINTH KATE GOT HORNY WATCHING DADTHONY PASS IT ON

The way Anthony wrapped his arm around Kate's waist at the end of that Dance. Without even thinking. Just watch those moments after they danced together again. Beautiful.

Penelope wrecked her only friend. And calling Kate a beast? Yeah. Next.

Okay THAT scene. Holy Fuck. That one scene > Season . Anthony telling Kate all he thinks about is her. Kate admitting it's the same for her. The way he said Go Inside and she stood her ground knowing what would happen. What did I tell you about you and your orders?! THE WAY HE GRABBED HER AND RUCKED UP HER SKIRT the way he whispered I will stop again and again, trying to convince himself that he could. The way she held him so close and told him not to even try. FUCKING KILL ME. The way He told her he wanted to do filthy things to her and the very first thing he did was get on his knees. SIR. The smiles, The vulnerability in both their eyes.

The smile on his face when he woke up and reached out for her. The way I know he wakes up every morning with that exact smile on his face.

THE ACCIDENT. THE WAY HE CALLED OUT HER FUCKING NAME AND CRADLED HER TO HIS CHEST AND DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT MAKING SURE SHE WAS SAFE YELLING AT SERVANTS THAT WEREN'T HIS, IN A HOUSE THAT WASN'T HIS

I will never recover from the look on Kate's face when she asked if Anthony had come to see her. And she thought he didn't love her, she knew that that night, but she wanted to feel what it would be like to be his wife. Even just once. Even just for one night. She wanted to be his. (And if you're only ever gonna have one fuck, that looked like a good one tbh I need an AU where Kate does leave England and takes a baby Neddy with her)

Oh Anthony, that proposal hurt me. How scared she was, How hurt he was.

I loved Kate and Edwina not giving a fuck what anyone else thought. Dancing together despite what people would thing. Edwina telling Kate to shine by herself now I LOVE THEM

That wrecking Ball dance. HOLY SHIT. I WAS FERAL. FERAL. just look at me. no one else matters HOLY FUCK the way their eyes locked together fuck me uppppppppppp

ANTHONY's confession HOLY FUCKING CHRIST. NO THOUGHTS JUST I WILL HUMBLE MYSELF BEFORE YOU The pay off of them both finally admitting they felt it too, that they wanted to be together, despite what anyone thought. Holy Fuck.

Loved Eloise finding out about Penelope. Neither of them held back there.

THAT EPILOGUE

The idea that they went travelling for six moths, did somethign for themselves, happy and stupid and in love. The way Anthony said Viscountess had me weak. Stop flirting about how often you fuck, I can't handle it. They're so Happy and in love and Fuck me

Final thoughts.

I loved this season. The changes were great, and made the pay off better.

Simone Ashley's Kate Sharma is masterful. The vulnerability in her eyes at moments was more than I could handle, I don't even know how to describe it. Holy Shit. I knew she was going to be good and I wasn't ready.

Jonathan Bailey understands Anthony so well and we're so lucky to have these actors who understand their characters so well. His interactions with Violet and Daphne (loved her this season) and his family. I wasn't ready.

This season was so beautiful. Give them a spin off show.

Fuck.

[teeztheflag]

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Mafia!Ateez reaction to their child telling them that a member is flirting with you

trigger warnings ⚠️ mafia themes, flirting, mentions of cheating, possessive behavior, murder, alcohol, sexual harassment (slight)

general taglist: @latte-fairytaekwoon @little-precious-baby @yunhobabygurl @multidreams-and-desires @purplelady85 @smallfrye​

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k i m  h o n g  j o o n g

„Where’s mommy?“ Your little son ran up to Hong Joong to be picked up by the mafia leader.

His eyes wander over the crowd at the garden gathering and when he’s not spotting you he flashes a little smile at his son.

„Mommy is talking to a man.“

Hong Joong nudges the little boy to whereas he points into a direction. Following the path around the house he sees you talking to none other than Kang Yeo Sang. His rival.

When Yeo Sang places his palm on your cheek you take a step back and frown at the boy. Hearing a cough behind you a smile escapes your form. The rival on the other hand rolls with his eyes and lets out a huff.

You’re quick to stand next to your husband and take your son into your arms leaving the two mafia leaders behind.

„You’re getting on my nerves, Kang.“

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p a r k  s e o n g  h w a

„(y/n)...“

You stood stiff in Seong Hwa��s lavish office. Your gaze trained to the ground and your heart sinking to the bottom when he neared your form. He placed his cold fingers under your chin to raise your head. Locking his eyes with you a sigh escapes him.

„You know you belong to me. Why are you still resisting?“

„I don’t know what you are talking about.“

Seong Hwa engulfs you into his embrace leaning your head on his shoulder.

„Even our princess doesn’t like you betraying me. I will make sure you are not seeing him again.“

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j e o n g  y u n  h o

„And what did he say after that?“

Yun Ho caressed his daughters soft hair while she sat on his lap in their livingroom.

„That he will hurt her. I don’t remember so much... He was really scary daddy!“

With big glossy eyes Yun Ho feels his heart shattering. His daughter being so afraid for his light of the world.

He wouldn’t let Choi San get away with this.

After bringing his angel to bed he visits your shared bedroom to see you being asleep. You’re stirring and he can only guess that your nightmares are back.

With a gun and a sharp knife hidden in his suit he drives fast through the night. His team is already ready to blow up the place.

And with the final hit Yun Ho grabs the ex lover of his wife by his collar.

„I told you to stay away from us. That she is not your business anymore. What were you thinking?“

San struggles in his grip but manages to bring out his probably last words. „Kill me, but, live with the knowledge that she will never love you.“

He dropped to the ground and Yun Ho grasps his shaking hands together rage filling his body.

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k a n g  y e o  s a n g

When your son repeatedly told Yeo Sang that he really liked the guy that was around you since a few weeks he was relieved. It was good Woo Young seemed to do his job right. After the last attack he wanted the both of you safe all the time. That’s why he send one of his best men that he trusted with all of his might.

It was only when he tucked him into bed that he stopped in his tracks being deep in thoughts. He goes downstairs and pours himself a glass of wine. He jolts a little bit when you embrace him from behind and he turns around to eye you with a sharp gaze. Tilting his head you step back and flash him a small smile.

„What’s up?“

„Woo Young‘s taking good care of you, right?“

You frown and immediately know by the tone he uses that something‘s not to his liking, and, Kang Yeo Sang not liking something was bad.

„He is, he is doing a good job. I guess.“

„Hyun Jin likes him, too. But you know what he just told me?“

You absentmindedly reach out to him to probably cool down his anger.

„He told me that uncle Woo Young was really close to you. Close like ‚daddy‘, when I asked him what he meant with that.”

“Yeo Sang, he’s not. He is just friendly. Hugging me as a greeting nothing more.“

„You think our three year old son is lying to me? (y/n), I warn you, I know him. Don’t take his flirting attempts light hearted.“

You nod at him knowing he wouldn’t take any arguing.

„If you can’t stop him I will give him a different job.“ With a last sip he finishes his glass and roughly pulls you into him to place a delicate and territorial kiss on your forehead.

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c h o i  s a n

„Dad, I don’t know how to say this but... I am really worried for your marriage. I mean is everything fine?“

San takes his cup of coffee sitting down on the breakfast table in front of your fourteen year-old daughter. He really needed a moment to register So Ra‘s words.

„What? Of course everything‘s fine! Or what are you even talking about?“

So Ra‘s gaze is trained on the buttered toast in front of her a deep frown taking place on her forehead.

„Yesterday at the gala... and I don’t know if I am mistaking things, but, I feel like she was flirting with this CEO named Song.“

San‘s eyes widened and he quickly takes a another sip from his coffee. „Oh, ehm, believe me your mother has always had her effect on...men.“

„Yeah, but, dad - the guy was literally stripping her naked with his eyes - “

„Choi So Ra! Your words!“ So Ra gestures a sorry with her hands but she didn’t want her mother to be so close to other men. She loved her parents dearly and she wanted to have a marriage like them in the future.

„Really, anyways, don’t worry. Everything‘s perfect. If there’s a problem we would never lie to you, promise!“ He holds his pinky for So Ra and with a relieved sigh she links it like she and her dad always did.

„Good morning!“ You place a kiss on your daughter‘s cheek and send a smirk to San being proud you got the right information last night.

San looks at his two princesses and has to hold back a laugh. If their daughter only knew their jobs things would be more dangerous but in many ways easier, too.

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s o n g  m i n  g i

„What means ‚sexy‘?“

You nearly caugh at your son‘s words quickly drinking something. Min Gi also nearly doubles over laughing while typing away a text for his members for their mission.

„Dong In! I thought we talked about this already.“

Your son was a persistent person eyeing you suspiciously.

Min Gi places his device on the table continuing to eat the soup for their shared dinner. „It means beautiful, but, it’s not a really polite word, Dong In.“

„Ah, so Mr. Kim is not polite to you Mum?“ That indeed catches your husband‘s attention.

„What is he talking about, (y/n)?“ A sly smile leaves him.

You groan out knowing sooner or later your son would’ve told him. „Well, Dong In‘s teacher just seems to need a talk with me about our son occasionally. And today he told me that he thinks I am ‚beautiful‘. Right, Dong In?“ Your son wasn’t paying attention anymore but with a naive sigh he slurped the rest of his soup.

„He said mommy‘s a sexy thing.“

„Dong In!“ Min Gi slowly sits back flexing his arm‘s muscles. He eyes you with a hungry gaze while he nudges Dong In.

„Next time Mr. Kim is telling your mother that she’s beautiful you say that your dad thinks so, too. Alright buddy?“ Min Gi fist bumps with your son.

„Got it!“

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j u n g  w o o  y o u n g

Woo Young wasn’t really a jelous man. He knew his worth and he also tend to be proud of the woman at his sight. Your auro caught the gazes of many men and that only boosted the mafia‘s ego.

When a man was flirting with you it was for you to play by the game. Being raised into the mafia business yourself you knew how to handle those greedy bastards.

Woo Young only smirked in the back of a booth when someone sneaked into the seat next to you at the bar. His men ready at any given chance to beat up the poor soul that tried to take what was Jung‘s.

But - he also loved your sneaky site.

It was only a button that you pushed too far when your daughter went up to his daddy to cry about how you were not giving her enough attention at the big gathering. Like the father himself their princess needed the recognition from her beloved ones.

Woo Young‘s gaze darkened when he saw you being corned by the one and only mafia leader of the west - Choi Jong Ho.

„That b - “

„Daddy! You didn’t want to swear! Mommy told you not to swear!“

„Ahhh, you’re right darling.“ He turned around to give his daughter into Seong Hwa‘s arms - one of his members.

With confident steps he emerges your form at the end of the room where Jong Ho was busy playing with your hair while talking about his latest wins in the business.

„Choi. Would you mind keeping your hands to yourself?“ Woo Young was raging by now. You didn’t stop the rival from touching you and the naive smile you send to your lover only angered him more.

„Let’s ask the lady what she wants.“ Jong Ho wiggles his eyebrows at Woo Young and you mentally facepalmed knowing Mr. Jung would scream bloody murder in a few seconds.

„I am sorry Mr. Choi.“ You gracefully step into Woo Young‘s arms giving him the satisfaction of winning this little debate with his rival. Jong Ho laughs out loud and turns around to leave the two of you.

„If you want attention ask for it. Don’t make me mad, baby.“

You lock eyes with him putting on a pout. „This way it is much more fun!“

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c h o i  j o n g  h o

It was the final day your son got introduced to the mafia world. A big party was held for him after he was prepared for everything over months. It was also his 16th birthday party and you had tears in your eyes knowing he was growing into a man so quickly really assembling his father in many ways.

It has been Park Seong Hwa‘s presence that put you off. He was an acquaintance of your clan for a long time but you didn’t really like the guy. When he approached you after dinner, when you were ushering your son to dance with a girl on the dancefloor, you immediately knew he was going to get on your nerves again.

He made jokes, touched you and clearly invaded your personal space. For the sake of your peaceful agreement you played his game hoping someone would come to help you out of your misery.

„Dad, I will literally kick this guy‘s balls if - “

„I already know about it.“ Jong Ho‘s gaze is fixed on your figure across the room. He turns to his son and tells him to have fun. He would take care of the matter.

Jong Ho soundlessly leans into your side leading Seong Hwa to roll with his eyes. He places a meaningful and strong kiss on your trembling lips catching your weight with his arms to steady you.

Playfully he turns around to the mafia a smile adoring his features. „Mr. Park. I didn’t even see you there!“ You’re quick to leave the duo to get to the toilet knowing by the squeeze Jong Ho just gave you a few seconds ago.

„Still so possessive I see. Let us leave this by complimenting you on your still beautiful wife.“ He let’s out a giggle while eying the crowd.

„Thank you, Seong Hwa. Seems to be running in my family.“

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↺ back to navi

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[bigskydreaming]

Brain topic du jour is reflecting on the frankly weird as fuck pattern in Dick’s life where....he barely ever experiences losses one at a time. Most of the loss he’s experienced in his life is compounded by him losing multiple people and other elements of stability all at the exact same time.

1) When his parents died, in some continuities this is coupled with him losing his extended family of his aunt and cousin as well, with his uncle left comatose and on life support for years before he eventually died as well. Even in continuities without Richard, Karla and John, the loss of Dick’s parents is compounded by the additional loss of his circus family in the sense that he was taken away from them by the state and their constant reassuring presences in his life were no longer comforts he was able to rely on.

2) When Jason died, Dick didn’t just lose his brother, as the tragedy was compounded by Bruce’s reaction. I’ll never be able to gloss over the effects of NTT #55, personally, because I think its too key to Dick’s entire characterization and the specific direction his character took in the years that followed this, to like....disregard that Bruce however unintentionally, while lost in his own grief, added to Dick’s own sense of loss for Jason in probably the worst way possible. As by kicking Dick out and telling him to leave his keys, Dick - having no way to know or guess that they’d ever reconcile, just like he never actually went back to the circus being a regular presence for him - to Dick, this was in essence the equivalent of his childhood tragedy all over again. Losing not just one family member, but his whole family in one sweep, and all the comforts and stability offered by a home he was forced to leave. Even Dick’s contact with Alfred was minimal for awhile, because why would the guy who basically JUST saw history repeat itself and was like, well I know how THIS tends to play out.....why would he think that if Alfred felt forced to actually choose between his loyalties to Bruce and Dick respectively, that Alfred would pick Dick over the man he’d known and raised from childhood himself?

3) Titans Hunt. I know I harp on this one a lot, but you can’t deny that it fits the pattern. Dick didn’t just lose one friend and teammate.....he lost Joey, he lost a good four or five lesser known Titans who nevertheless were people he viewed as directly HIS responsibility to keep safe. With these tragedies compounded by the fact that though comics played out a lot more slowburn and extended stories over years back then, like.....the aftermath of Titans Hunt was still everpresent and directly died into Dick’s reactions and emotions during the Mirage storyline and everything that happened with the failed wedding and his breakup with Kory AND the fact that he was literally forced off the team he’d basically founded, by the government agency that took over the team and appointed Roy as its leader in his stead.

3) Graduation Day. The second time the Titans disbanded it was again not due to a singular loss, because Dick didn’t just lose Donna at this point, but also Lilith died in the exact same story and though Lilith is criminally underused, like, she’s also one of Dick’s oldest friends. She was literally the first Titan to join after the original five. This then led into the Outsiders era, where Dick was shown to still be reeling from the losses of this story for an extended period of time, and in a fun parallel to the Titans Hunt aftermath, Dick was also ousted from his leadership of THIS team by essentially a vote of no confidence by his teammates (and uh, Bruce too, literally).

4) The Blockbuster arc. Where Dick’s emotional state was due to a continued string of multiple losses. He lost his apartment building and almost every one of the neighbors he’d built a community out of, as we’d been shown him actively involving himself in their lives and vice versa for YEARS before this point. Then he lost his circus, his childhood home, burned to the ground and with dozens of deaths - both spectators and actual performers Dick had known and loved as a child. Then he lost his relationship with Barbara, his sense of self-security and autonomy to Tarantula, he lost another teen vigilante who died in his colors, the mantle HE’D created, when Stephanie was believed dead in War Games, and it all culminated in losing the city he’d invested himself in as his CHOSEN home, the place he dedicated himself to protecting, when Chemo blew it up.

Oh just for the record - my nonexistent passport to the magical kingdom of Narnia for a fic that raises the point when bringing up Tim’s losses in the Red Robin era, that like.....ALL of the above happened at literally the EXACT SAME TIME as all Tim’s referenced losses occurred. Obviously Steph meant more to Tim than Dick on a personal level, but I also included her largely as an anchor point to the timeline, to show how that death, and not long after that Jack Drake’s and then Superboy’s.... occurred right smack in the middle of one of the absolute WORST periods of Dick’s life. To be clear, I don’t intend this to suggest that no actually, Dick had it harder than Tim - nah. 

No thank you. Hard pass. I hate that sort of thing even in support of my own faves over other characters. No, instead the thing I’d love to see explored more is just in light of the SPECIFIC angle fics take here - that Dick’s actions while Bruce was lost in time showed an obliviousness to everything Tim had lost lately - for literally ANYONE to bring up or introduce into the timeline here an awareness of everything Dick had lost AT THE EXACT SAME TIME PERIOD. To establish that actually, Dick didn’t just ‘not understand what it was like’ - rather, its more accurate to say that nobody in universe around this time ever shows an awareness of Dick’s own losses and says oh wait, that doesn’t track then. 

Because obviously, with this stuff put in proper perspective, Dick understands VERY VERY WELL the exact thing we’re accusing him of not understanding by being oblivious to Tim’s losses that he’s not actually oblivious to because he tries to talk to Tim about them all the time, while meanwhile its everyone else who has absolutely mum to say about the fact that Dick’s emotional state is compromised to hell and back at this point, not JUST because of losing Bruce, but also because *gestures wildly* literally ALL OF THE ABOVE in the exact same time frame Tim’s extended losses happened in.

And okay I am going to indulge in slight tiny itty bitty pettiness and point out my ire that so many fics set during this time tend to recite listicles of Tim’s losses, with Steph, Kon and Jack Drake at the very top of said list....while paying no attention whatsoever to the fact that STEPH WAS LITERALLY BACK BY THE TIME THE RED ROBIN SERIES HAPPENED. She’s LITERALLY a person Dick sends to check up on Tim after Tim turns Dick away when he tries himself. How are you gonna stress the impact Steph’s loss has on Tim when you’re not even acknowledging STEPH’S RIGHT HERE IN THE EXACT SPECIFIC CANON STORY YOU’RE CITING??? I just. afhioskhflafhlafhklfahlfa. 

And not to put too fine a point on it, but you know who ELSE was also back at the same time? CONNOR. Superboy LITERALLY was already back to life by the time the Red Robin series even began. Like, the issue where a resurrected Kon and Cassie (Wonder Girl) have a heart to heart about the fact that Tim and Cassie ‘connected’ during his absence and Connor stresses that this doesn’t bother him or make him feel negatively towards either of them at all, because hello, he was literally dead at the time, why would he mind that two of the people he loves most in the world sought comfort in each other? Yeah, that issue? Literally came out BEFORE Tim even became Red Robin.

I MEAN. I’m just saying, when people constantly take shots at Dick’s choices during this period because of how much Tim had lost before Bruce already, in order to shift focus away from the fact that Dick lost Bruce every bit as much as Tim did......and you repeatedly emphasize the SAME three names as the focal point of Tim’s losses while paying no acknowledgment whatsoever to everything Dick lost at the exact same time Tim lost these three.....it quickly becomes kiiiiiiinda relevant in my opinion THAT TWO OF THE THREE NAMES CONSTANTLY MENTIONED AS BEING TIM’S LOSSES ARE NO LONGER EVEN LOST BY THE TIME THE SUBJECT COMES UP. Again, I’m just saying! Pettily, mind you! I am aware of the pettiness, I just beg awareness of like *again gesticulates wildly at all of the above* ALL THAT!

LOL.

But I digress.

5) When Bruce was believed dead while he was lost in the timestream. Again, Dick didn’t just lose the father who had been the only parent in his life for almost TWICE as long as his first parents......this was coupled with the loss of numerous other sources of stability in Dick’s life. There’s the matter of his personal sense of identity and self-expression....Dick FOUGHT against becoming Batman, trying to handle Gotham in Bruce’s absence as Nightwing for as long as he could, because he knew being Batman was very much NOT going to be good for him. He put so much of himself into building his identity as Nightwing, establishing himself in that role, that self-image, that yes, I maintain it was an actual LOSS for Dick, to feel like he had no choice but to give that up and everything it meant to him and his own life, in order to essentially live Bruce’s life for him in his absence. 

Because it wasn’t just being Batman that Dick was struggling with at this time....he also had to act as the patriarch to the Wayne family, essentially raise Bruce’s ten year old son, step into Bruce’s old role in Wayne Enterprises, all while getting no acknowledgment for any of this, for literally LIVING his father’s life instead of the life Dick had worked so hard to build for HIMSELF....because of course Dick’s actions and struggles couldn’t even be advertised beyond the family and close friends, because the whole point of him doing all this was so that nobody else even realized that Bruce wasn’t really there anymore. Dick didn’t just assume Bruce’s responsibilities. Dick assumed Bruce’s life, so thoroughly that most people didn’t even put together that Bruce was ‘dead,’ between Dick handling Bruce’s actual roles and responsibilities while Hush made public appearances as him. 

Like, when you’re living someone else’s life so completely that nobody can tell they’re even gone....how on earth does that leave any time or space for you to have ANY kind of life of your OWN, y’know? Not to mention the fact that like in so many times previously....all this meant that Dick couldn’t even afford to let his grief for his own losses show, because he wasn’t supposed to be grieving any losses in the first place, that was the whole point of the con!

Additionally, couple this with the fact that throughout this time period, Dick didn’t have Tim to lean on at all, because it was never that Dick kicked Tim out or neglected him or didn’t care....he’d actively stressed how much he needed Tim, because the partner Tim was convinced Dick chose ‘over’ him - Dick was the first one to admit back then that he DIDN’T trust Damian yet, couldn’t afford to, because he was all too aware that Damian didn’t give a fuck about him yet and couldn’t be guaranteed to step in to have Dick’s back - because that required mutual trust that Dick literally just hadn’t had time to build yet. And add to THAT the fact that during this time, Jason was actively antagonizing the family and Dick in particular at every turn, trying to bring them all down and basically write over what all of them saw as Bruce’s legacy with Jason’s own version of what he thought that should look like.

Also also, take into account that unlike how often we see fanon depict Dick as just too stubborn or proud to ask for help, there’s the fact that he actually had very few avenues TO ask for help! As already established, he DID ask Tim for help. Not like Jason was an option at this time, and Dick’s friends weren’t actually just sitting waiting in the wings and groaning about the fact that Dick was trying to do all of this solo....nah, they kinda had their own problems, which Dick was all too aware of?

Like the fact that in the wake of Final Crisis, it wasn’t just Bruce that was believed lost. Many other key Leaguers like Martian Manhunter were dead or lost, with others struggling to fill the gaps left in their absence. Cry For Justice happened right after Final Crisis too....that story where Lian was murdered? So it wasn’t like Dick was remotely going to try leaning on Roy when Roy had just lost his freaking DAUGHTER and very much wasn’t handling it well (and not to overshadow Roy’s loss at ALL, but please let’s not act like Dick - who had literally been the person to put a baby Lian in Roy’s arms for the first time and had known that girl for pretty much her entire life - like, it shouldn’t be used to detract from Roy’s loss at all, but it shouldn’t have to, to just acknowledge that Lian’s loss right at this exact time was painful as fuck to Dick, who’d loved his niece like crazy.)

The pattern of compounding, concurrent losses in Dick’s life. I’m just saying. Its there.

And it extends into the New 52 as well, where Forever Evil came right on the heels of Dick losing his circus in THIS continuity to the Joker, just as a way to hurt him in Death of A Family. And with the aftermath of Forever Evil and Dick’s own literal death, being like....the complete loss of Dick’s entire life, even though he was revived quickly. That didn’t mean he got to live HIS life though, since Dick Grayson was believed dead and he was told had to remain so, so its like fuck whatever he actually wanted to do as he went about on the Spyral mission aka something that pinched his own sense of morality and personal agenda at every turn and was kinda the last thing a therapist would recommend for a trauma recovery period, lol. And like, for all the focus that was paid to how Dick’s family were hurt because they believed they’d lost him when he was actually alive, let’s not forget that for all intents and purposes, Dick DID lose his family in the wake of his resurrection because he was flat out told over and over that due to what ‘he’d LET happen to him’ he was an ACTIVE danger to them, and thus wasn’t allowed by Bruce to contact any of them or lean on them to any degree, until Bruce got amnesia and stopped blocking Dick’s pleas to return home by just not being there to pick up the secret phone line at all. 

(And omg, the obliviousness that just EMANATES off the hot takes that Dick had a ‘choice’ in all this and he still CHOSE to do what Bruce told him....like. LOLOL, stop being pissy about me bringing up the term abuse apologism when its literal victim blaming to paint the guy who had to be beaten into ‘agreeing’ to the Spyral mission in the immediate wake of the trauma of DYING, all while his father vocally blamed him for his own suffering and the ‘threat’ he now posed to his family, keying directly into the guilt complex Bruce knows damn well is at the core of most of Dick’s motivations.....fucking please. There’s no choice in all that. That’s active emotional, mental and physical abuse aimed at directly manipulating Dick’s actions, delivered by the guy who knows Dick best in the world and whose approval - particularly when Dick is at absolute rock bottom aka Current Location - matters more to Dick than just about anything because his sense of self-worth has more in common with dog shit than actual dog shit does. Or something. Idk. That analogy got away from me. But like. You get it.)

BUT. I. DIE. GRESS. (I guess).

Aaaaaaanyway, so yeah! That repeating pattern throughout Dick’s life of ‘loss? What loss (singular)? My losses only come in groups, lolol, fuuuuuun’ - mmmm. Yeah. So that’s what’s on MY brain right now. Thoughts?

[aro-is-gay-af]

The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader

As you all can see, I got carried away just a little with this one. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm planning at least part two, since this part got soooo long.

Anyway!

I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. Sorry for any grammatical errors, as well as any confusion with syntax. English isn't my native but I always try my best! Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Please, pay attention to the warnings. If you are uncomfortable with any of the topics, simply do not read.

I pictured here Aro from the films (as Michael Sheen is perfect for this part), Caius from the films (maybe a little bit older) and Marcus from the films but his younger self (maybe 20?). Also, I wrote at one point that [Y/N] has blonde hair and blue eyes but it just helped me with the descriptions. Obviously, you can picture characters according to your wishes.

Warnings: Rape (graphic description!), Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy

Word count: 7816 (!)

Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings' mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?

You thought that the death of your parents was enough to break you. As they say, if you’re not willing to bend, you’ll break. And you did. After all.

Ever since you’ve been born, everything went downhill. You were a weak child and within your first five years of life, you’ve gone through countless surgeries. Something was terribly wrong with your spine and the doctors were worried that you wouldn't be able to move normally.

You got your ‘happily ever after’. After fourteen surgeries and taking more than a dozen medications, you could be considered healthy. It made you remember the better part of your childhood. At this point, you couldn’t even recall constant visits at hospital or ingesting enormous amount of drugs.

What you could recall, was the agony that your mom went through while dying of pancreatic cancer. You tried to help her but there was literally no help available. Sure, chemo did help, but only a little tiniest bit. When someone got this type of cancer, there was only one way to die. It was neither pretty, nor pleasant.

So your mother died when you were sixteen. Your father followed shortly after her. He suffered from severe depression after your mother’s passing, but it was the car accident that got him killed. You were just before your graduation.

You’ve finished school and tried to go on. It wasn’t exactly an easy path to follow. You had the feeling that fate had made you its whore and the devil knows his jokes. Somehow, you got through college. You used the money from your dad's insurance policy entirely for your education. It was the only thing you could do to secure your future.

At 22, you got a job at the same hospital where doctor Cullen worked. You were a nurse on the paediatrics ward, but the hospital in Forks was so small that you often found yourself working with doctor Cullen. He was always kind to you and exuded a fatherly warmth. However, like everyone from Cullen family, he was slightly withdrawn from all conversations and social activities.

You noticed a slight change in his behaviour when your best friend, Bella, started dating with the doctor's youngest son, Edward. Carlisle has been talking to you more and more. The conversations weren't long – more like short exchanges of words, whether about his family’s well-being or any leisure activities both of you devoted yourselves after work. Nevertheless, you started calling each other by the others’ given name.

You met with Bella on average once a week. Sure, you were four years older than her, but the age difference never was a problem. You always got along well, and age had nothing to do with it. With time, you've watched Bella thrive during her relationship with Edward and you've enjoyed her happiness. Your relationship had loosened a little, but you didn't hold it against her. With Forks being so small, you could easily meet Bella on the street or in a shop and talk to her about silly things or this boyfriend of hers. It made her blush furiously every time you brought up the topic, especially if Edward waited nearby.

And then, just like that, something snapped. Of course, you heard about their huge quarrel about god knows what, and that Bella wanted to make herself scarce immediately. Charlie called you that night if , by any chance, you could talk some sense into her. Bella not once picked up her phone and then she got her stupid ass into the hospital. And magically reconciled with Edward. That’s when you started to be suspicious. Something wasn’t right about this situation, at all, but you let it be.

Time passed and even though you liked Carlisle as a colleague, you became gradually suspicious about him and his family. Things that you noticed were little, almost insignificant, but something told you that there’s more than meets the eye. Bella herself began to limit contact with you, mainly due to her lack of time for Edward. But when you did get a chance to meet and talk, the subject of Edward still came to the surface.

You tried to understand your friend, while not understanding her at all. You also were in love once but your mother's illness and then your father's death took too much of a toll on you, to experience your first love in such an intense way. It was incomprehensible to you, how Bella could lose her head so much for this boy. And yet you tried, tried to be there when Bella needed you the most. Simply because you were a good friend and also because you needed a friend.

You were left alone, out in this world, with no one to care about and no one to love. Only Bella, as present and, most importantly, alive person, connected you with your childhood and good memories from that time. She was the only one left. You considered her your family and you didn’t want to lose her too. Not after all you’ve been through.

At the day of her birthday, you saw her quickly after her school. You gave her a small gift and you both agreed to meet a day later because Edward's family had invited her to stay at their place. After that birthday, everything changed. The next day Bella went missing. You went to her house exactly as agreed and Charlie said she had been gone for a few hours.

When Bella was found later that evening by Sam, Charlie's colleague, everything became frighteningly clear. The Cullens had moved out of town. Apparently, Carlisle had gotten a lucrative job somewhere else. That didn't surprise you, he was a really great doctor. But how could he not mention a word of it to you? Not that you were so close to him but you considered him a good comrade of yours and moving out of town like this, without a word… It seemed extremely strange to you.

The months that followed were very similar. Bella fell into a deep depression and apathy. You came to visit her, but during these visits it was mainly you who talked. You talked about work, about your next qualification course and about the anniversary of your mum's death. Bella mostly remained silent. Charlie confirmed that, yes, she did go to school, but apart from that, she sat in her room all day and stared at the window.

You knew from Charlie that she was slowly trying to reconnect with her friends. And that she was spending a lot of time with that boy from the reservation. You were happy because it meant that your friend was slowly coming back to life. Maybe not back to normal, not yet, but at least she was trying. And you were trying too. To be a good friend, a good sister to her.

You started talking more during your visits at her house. Unlike before, the subject of Edward didn't exist. It was as if he had never existed. So you did not mention him at all. Bella was healing, slowly, just as you were, when both of your parents died. She was there for you, even if you could only talk to her on the phone because, at that time, she permanently lived with Renee.

For the first time in several months, you hoped that things would somehow work out. In your life, the moments when you were truly happy never lasted long. It was the same this time. One day, you went to Port Angeles to buy new clothes for work. Yours were still from your university days, worn out, but not so long ago you were short of money and preferred to spend it on other things rather than buying new clothes.

By the time you got back to your car it was pretty late. The car park was deserted. On your way to the car, a man accosted you and, before you knew it, he had hit you on the head with something heavy. When you woke up, you were in a squalid alley. The man was pressing you against a wall with all his strength. You only realised what he was going to do, when you felt a cool breeze brush against your bare legs. Your trousers and underwear were almost at your ankles. You started to squirm, trying to free yourself from his iron grip. You heard his quiet giggle next to your ear.

"Don't resist angel, I’ll be quick," he whispered in your ear, pawing at your breasts with his left hand. You felt sick to your stomach. He had hideous breath, as if he had been drinking for three days, then puked and drank again. You started to jerk harder, to pull away, but it only caused you pain. He held tight, pushing against you with his whole body and whispering disgusting things under his breath. When he finally entered you, he tugged hard on your hair. He made no effort to cover your mouth because you didn't even try to scream. You were out of breath, unable to say a word. You were afraid that he would kill you. You wanted him to go away so that the pain would end and you could finally go home.

When he finished, he let you go and just walked away. You stood there, half naked, frozen and shaken, for god knows how long. You were unable to move. When you felt his semen running down your leg, you finally managed to vomit. Your cheek was bruised and scratched from how hard he pressed you against the rough wall. You wanted to go home, but you didn't have the strength to get up from the street.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you finally got up. You got dressed and walked to your car. Everything hurt. You didn't want to, but you knew, you had to go to the hospital. You could not leave it like that. He had already hurt you, but what about the others? You couldn't let that happen. All the way to the hospital in Port Angeles your hands were trembling. Returning to that memory, you didn't even remember how you got to the ER.

At the hospital, they took care of you properly. They called the police. Two female doctors were there for a medical examination. The nurses were very nice. You tried to put on a good face. You've thought about how your sexual experiences has been so far. Your first sex, like most people's, was terrible. Your boyfriend was two years older, you were 17 and it all went wrong. You were in pain. He didn't seem too happy either. Up until you graduated from high school, you tried to make it work somehow, but there were never any fireworks. It wasn't until college that you discovered the good side of sex.

However, you never had sex with someone you loved more than life. You haven't met anyone like that. And you were sure that sex with that person would be unique and exceptional. Until now, of course. Lying on a hospital bed, you felt exploited. Abused. Filthy. Humiliated. How can one do something like that to another person? The nurse asked if someone could come and pick you up, and you didn't have much of a choice. You called Bella. While she was on her way to the hospital, you let the police officers question you. You mechanically slurred the words as if it wasn't about you at all. As if it wasn’t you that had been raped.

As soon as you saw Bella, you were no longer able to pretend that nothing had happened. You were sobbing and she hugged you tight, telling you that he would pay for it. You weren't so sure about that. You wanted to be home as soon as possible, so you went back to Forks. Bella said nothing while driving because there was nothing that could be said. In the shower, you scrubbed yourself so hard with the pumice that you thought you had taken off all your skin. To your absolute disgust, you could still feel his touch on you. You could hear him whisper against your ear and you could smell his hideous breath.

A week has passed. Bella texted you every day, and you were able to hang out almost every other day. She was a good sister, a great friend. She didn't want to leave you alone in this. Despite being offered leave, you went to work. You didn't want to keep thinking about what happened. Each time, after taking a bath, you were unable to look in the mirror. On the first day, right after scrubbing, you decided to take a look. You had bruises on your stomach, thighs, buttocks and breasts. Your forearms were scraped, your cheek was scratched and bruised. The worst of it was that you had been bleeding for days. The gynaecologist said, it was due to too much force, and the fact that you actively resisted for a while.

You were trying to get back to normal. You went to work, you were seeing Bella and taking your course. But no one could touch you. You didn't even shake hands to say hello. You didn't care at all, you couldn’t endure a touch anymore. Not in any way. You didn't get your period, but the doctor said it could happen. It was a shock to the body and a lot of pain to bear. Also, you bled for almost a week after the rape.

You started to be afraid to go out alone. When in a shop or at work, if anyone approached you from behind, you started panicking and hyperventilating. You couldn’t walk ordinarily on the street. You looked behind every two or three minutes to assure yourself that nobody was following you. Your hands trembled while driving the car or making the tea. Your eyes were starting to water as soon as someone even tried to touch you. You had nightmares and you started losing your mind because of this.

When your period did not come in the following month, you began to worry. Surely you couldn't get pregnant with this... monster. Not you. Of course you have checked. You would not be able to live in such ignorance. It turned out that yes, you indeed were pregnant. When the doctor confirmed it, you fainted. Not you, not like that. You didn't even think you'd ever be a mum. Let alone like this. You hated your body even more and the fact that it had betrayed you in such a villainous way.

You knew this path led to madness. You were in an even worse mental condition, than after losing your mum; than after dad died in the accident. You have shed countless tears. You didn't want to abort this pregnancy, and at the same time you wanted it with all your heart. If only you were able to defend yourself. Break away from him and run as far away as possible. It would never have happened. But you were weak and didn't even have the energy to scream. Would it have made any difference though?

You were constantly beating yourself up with thoughts about whether you should keep the baby, when something completely bizarre happened. Jacob called you that he had to rescue Bella after jumping off a cliff. Annoyed, you got in your car and drove up to the Swans' house. Bella's car wasn't there, so you waited patiently in yours. When they arrived, you were boiling with rage.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!” you shouted, as you got out of the car.

Bella rolled her eyes. She looked miserable. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was soaked through. She smiled weakly towards you.

“It was just for fun, you know” she muttered, as you hugged her tightly. It was your first closer contact since…

“It was just for sport,” she tried again.

You snorted in annoyance.

“Yeah, sure, get inside before you get sick.”

As you both stepped onto the porch, Jacob unexpectedly grabbed Bella's wrist. They shared a look.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. You can go now, Jake,” she muttered, trying to disentangle herself from his grasp.

You smiled weakly at him, while Bella was looking for her keys.

“Cool, I'll take care of her until Charlie gets back. Thanks for saving her stupid ass,” you said. Jacob smiled amused, but still seemed slightly tense.

“No problem. Always at your service,” he joked. “Well... See ya around,” he said goodbye and walked away to his car.

You walked into the house with Bella.

“What were you thinking? You could have died” you muttered under your breath, stripping off your jacket.

“Well...actually I wasn't thinking, like, at all” Bella admitted, smiling apologetically at you.

“Next time think about Charlie,” you said, hugging her once more. Your body screamed that you shouldn't do that, but you were glad that Bella was okay.

While Bella changed into dry clothes, you made hot tea for both of you. Someone knocked on the door. The knocking was not from the front, but from the courtyard. You walked slowly to the door and opened it. Edward's sister, Alice, stood in front of you. You wouldn't have known what she looked like, if Bella hadn't shown you pictures of her. But other than that, you knew quite a bit about her, because when Bella was still with Edward, she couldn’t kept her mouth shut about Alice.

“Hi. Can I come in?” she asked politely. She tried to look normal, but there was something in her behaviour that made you nervous. You were about to reply, when Bella appeared in the kitchen.

“Alice!” she squealed, throwing herself around the brunette's neck. After a moment, she pulled away and looked at Alice in disbelief. "Are you really here? Or am I just dreaming this?" asked Bella.

It was your turn to roll the eyes.

“Of course she’s here” you said, now slightly annoyed. “Don’t be bothered by me, please, proceed to whatever you wanted to say.”

Your sarcastic tone was not intended, but justified. You were slowly beginning to get fed up with this family's games. First they move out and turn Bella's life upside down, and now the big comeback? Something's not right here. Besides, at that moment, you weren't the right person to play with. You had enough problems of your own and your life was messed up enough. What you didn't know at that moment, was that everything was about to change fundamentally very soon.

Alice took no notice of you.

"Bella, listen. Edward thinks you committed suicide. He told me that he doesn't want to live either, so he is on his way to the Volturi to ask them for an execution."

You had no idea what she was talking about. Bella was terrified, and you didn't know what was going on here.

"What, who the fuck are Volturi? Did Edward get involved with some cult? Also, how did he know Bella killed herself?" you asked, not understanding anything of what Alice was talking about earlier.

"We have to go to Italy, Bella,” she ignored you once more. “If they refuse him, I'm not sure what he'll do" as Alice spoke, Bella began to gather herself quickly to leave.

You grabbed her hand.

"And where do you think you are going?" you asked in disbelief. Bella looked at you apologetically.

"Y/N, I have to go. They're going to murder him. Just the fact that I'm alive will convince him."

You snorted in disbelief.

"You're dead serious? And can't you call him and tell him it's a misunderstanding? Besides, Bella, this guy ghosted you. He left you here, alone, with not one explanation and you want to fly to the other side of the world to save this dumb ass?" you asked, trying to take your mind off this ludicrous circumstance.

“Oh my god, we’ll take her with us if she’s not going to back down” said Alice in exasperation.

“And to your kind information, I won't back down. Your douchebag brother and the rest of your family turned her adrift. I was the one who pulled her out of her depression, and I will not let the exact same thing happen again because of any of you,”you hissed out in anger. You saw something in Alice's eyes that you considered to be admiration.

You looked at Bella expectantly.

“Y/N, I still love him. I cannot let this go” Bella whispered and you felt as your chest tightened. “Please…”

You heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okey, but I’m coming with you,” you decided and noticed that Alice's eyes were momentarily clouded with mist. You had no idea what was going on here, but you were sure that this whole affair with the Volturi, whoever the hell they were, didn't sound good.

After a few seconds, Alice looked at Bella, then at you and back at Bella.

“Get your coats, we have to go now,” she said.

“But Alice...” protested Bella.

“There's no time for that. We'll explain everything to her on the way. If we start now, we won't get out of here until noon” she muttered exasperatedly, walking out of the house. You looked at Bella.

“Bells, what's this all about?” you asked, and she just sighed quietly. You both quickly got your shoes on.

“We'll tell you on the plane but I'm afraid the Volturi won't like that a lot,” she said with worried expression on her face.

When you were at the airport waiting for a plane, you had countless questions in your head. Why the fuck Edward was pulling such nonsense? Why to be so dramatic about thing that didn’t even happen? Did this idiot really get involved in some sort of cult? And why was his sister so concerned about it that she decided to tell you ‘everything’, whatever needed to be said? However, the question that kept you wondering was who were the mysterious Volturi and what could they possibly resent about you?

One thing you were sure of. There hadn't been a moment since the sexual assault when you hadn't thought about it. And now your thoughts were occupied by the mysterious Volturi and you immensely wanted to find out what it was really all about.

⋎⋎⋎

On a plane ride, you found out that vampires are no fairy tales and your best friend was in love with one. It was a wild thought but, as soon as Alice started taking, you knew it wasn’t a joke. You were given so much information at once that you were unable to respond to anything as Alice finished her long monologue. You had a drink of water, although at that moment you very much regretted not being able to drink whisky.

“Okey, lets say I get most of this…” you said with a low voice, trying to be careful with what you’re saying. “But can you tell me who are Volturi and why would they want to decapitate Edward?” you asked, looking sideways, afraid that someone might hear.

Alice let out a sigh.

“The Volturi are the equivalent of the justice system in our world. They are the ones who created the laws that help us hide from the world, and they are the ones who enforce them. They consider themselves… sort of royalty, as their leaders – Aro, Caius and Marcus – are over three thousand years old.”

If you were to be honest, you were not very good at processing this information. Three thousand years? The first thought that popped into your mind was that they must be immensely lonely. You were sure you wouldn't want to live so many years without having anyone worthy by your side. Later, Alice quickly summarised all the laws that every vampire must obey. They weren't complicated, but when you thought about it a little longer, some of them weren't so easy to follow.

“I don't want to whine, or come off as ungrateful or anything like that, but... didn't you just break the law? By telling me about you?” you asked cautiously, not knowing if what you were saying was right.

Alice sighed again, this time heavier than before.

“It’s complicated” she said succinctly, which interested Bella, who was eating some kind of sandwich.

“This vision of yours was about [Y/N]?” she asked Alice curiously. Alice merely nodded. When Alice told you about her gift, and this was at the very beginning of the story, you found it hard to believe. It wasn’t so unbelievable now.

"Eat something," Alice said to you. "It's good for the baby" she added after a moment, seeing you hesitate. You swallowed heavily, as you suddenly felt sick. The memories of that evening came back.

Alice smiled softly, as if knowing exactly what you were thinking about. And this was supposed to be Edward's gift.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she asked, and your eyes almost fell out.

"Can you predict that?" you asked in disbelief. She and Bella both smiled. Alice nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, sure. I can't predict if the baby... you know, if it will be born, however, the sex I can tell you.”

You pondered on it, while eating your sandwich. The nausea eased, when you could think of something different than that unlucky evening. Before you knew it, you fell asleep and Alice woke you up when you landed in Italy. As Alice drove the stolen car, you tried to admire the beautiful views of Tuscany outside your window. When you had almost reached Volterra, you thought how wonderful it would be to live here.

⋎⋎⋎

This stupid boyfriend of hers. That was all his fault. Of course, Bella made it at the last minute. You, together with Alice, went to abandon the stolen car somewhere. Although, you had a feeling that you would be returning the exact same way. You tried to reassure yourself. Of course you’ll be returning. Or maybe not? If you were honest, you gave no fucks about it. You had no one who’d wait for you at home, your parents died, you were brutally raped not so long ago, and you didn’t even know if you wanted to keep the baby. Maybe dying today isn’t such a bad idea?

You have reached the square and entered the palace at a very convenient time. The guy who looked like a wardrobe and the other one, much shorter than him and blonde, looked like they were about to murder Edward in this instant. And actually, you felt like you could’ve murdered Edward too. Barely Alice closed the door, you didn't even glance at the two of them, but immediately began to scold Edward for what he had done. To hell with his gift!

“You stupid, immature, irresponsible, reckless and selfish bastard!” you started descriptively, and even Bella was taken aback by your behaviour. Alice raised her eyebrows and two other vampires looked at themselves and then straight at you. Edward had no time for any reply. “If you ever, I repeat, if you ever again do something as childish and irresponsible as expose my best friend to a nervous breakdown and months of depression, I promise you, here and now, that I will decapitate you myself. You're old, and yet a five-year-old child is smarter than you. You utter imbecile,” you hissed with hatred.

Of course, your malice towards him was temporary, but it's been a long time since anyone has angered you like that. The shorter man laughed under his breath, and the other one, who looked like a wardrobe, said:

“Can we keep her? I like the way she’s ruling the roost.”

He fell silent, as a short, pretty blonde woman entered the room. Her face was like a child's, but her eyes... bright red, staring at no one else but you.

“Jane” greeted her Edward. She didn’t even look at him.

“Aro sent me to see what was taking so long” she said. The atmosphere immediately became tense. Edward and Alice seemed to stiffen at the sound of Aro's name. You were curious but not frightened. Not yet.

Jane turned and immediately started walking towards the long corridor. Bella just looked at Edward, and you glanced at Alice.

“Do what she says,” she muttered to you and you both kept pace with the couple in the front.

Needless to say, it was the most stressful and also the most terrifying lift ride you've ever experienced. Not to add the creepy music background. You guessed it was supposed to make you feel better, but instead it made your whole stomach go up to your throat. You were standing right in the middle, next to Bella, holding Alice's hand. The vampire, who looked like a wardrobe, kept looking at you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Puking on someone's shoes isn't going to make this situation any better. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Edward smile. Yeah, the situation you’ve found yourself in was extremely funny indeed.

When you reached the main chamber, you didn't know what to look at first. At the vampires standing against every wall? Not very wise of you. At the marble floor? Nothing to be afraid of for now, so no. You probably should have looked at the three thrones in front of you and the vampires that sat on them, but instead, you were interested in the Latin phrase engraved between the columns above you.

You glanced at your company. Edward looked as if he was about to die. Maybe that's what's going to happen? Alice looked very out of sorts, and Bella, well, she was hanging onto Edward's arm and also looked like she was about to leave this world for good. She was unnaturally pale and you though she was going to faint any second. But it never happened. The rest of the room felt extremely comfortable. For a moment, you turned your head towards the boy who called out to Jane. You did not let go of Alice's hand but you did not feel any anxiety. Curiosity prevailed, mainly because you had come to terms with the fact of your imminent death.

“Sister! Sent you out to get one and you bring back two. And two halves,” the boy who’s just called Jane his sister probably was talking about me and Bella. “Such a clever girl,” he praised her like he wasn’t his sister but someone else entirely. You sighed heavily. Maybe they’re also into incest-kind-of-relationships? Who knows. You looked above your head again. There was a short inscription “vita brevis, ars longa” but you knew the rest of it. Latin was obligatory in every medical school.

When the man from the middle throne stood up, it was to him that you directed all your attention. You felt that something about him was... you had no idea how to describe it, but you felt a strange pull towards him. As if some invisible force had power over you.

“What a happy surprise!” he said pointedly, wide smile on his face. “Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” he said cheerfully, while walking towards Edward. At that exact moment, you realised that you had managed to get yourself into a huge mess. The lair of the vampires. And you were only a weak human. Recently raped. With a baby under your heart.

As soon as the man stepped down from the platform, you were unable to take your eyes off him. His posture, the way he spoke, his demeanour, it all made you feel incredible respect for him. You’ve never felt this secure and calm in your entire life.

“I love a happy ending,” the man said, while he took Edwards’ hand into his. “They’re so rare.”

You were wondering why this man took Edward’s hand in the first place. You did not have to wait long for an explanation.

“Aro can read every thought that I’ve ever had. With one touch” Edward explained to Bella but you were listening too. Very carefully listening. You’ve finally managed to know the name of the vampire. Aro. It suited him well. Although his eyes were a little scary, you were delighted with his charisma and approach to guests. You realised that indeed, they are called the royal family for a reason.

Aro smiled to Edward.

“Her blood appears to you so much,” he whispered, and you had a hard time hearing his words well. Aro’s gaze rested on Bella. “It makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?” he asked Edward, who was feeling more and more uncomfortable. You could tell by the fact that he was practically standing like a statue.

“It is not without difficulty,” muttered Edward from behind his clenched teeth.

You swallowed hard, as Aro turned his gaze to Bella again but he smiled.

“Ah, I can see that” he said pleased, moving away from Edward and focusing all his attention on Bella.

“Although you’re a quite soul-reader yourself, Edward, you cannot read Bella’s thoughts” he made a rather dramatic pause, still staring stubbornly at your best friend. “Fascinating” he said, not hiding his curiosity.

You managed to look elsewhere, than at Aro. The man on the throne to your left seemed unusually agitated. He fixed his gaze on you, as if his life depended on it, yet you did not feel uncomfortable. You were surprised to discover that an invisible force was also drawing you towards him. You almost took a step forward. You tried to remember the man from a few minutes ago. He looked as if he had died in that chair a few centuries ago. And now he seemed genuinely moved.

“Brother” the man spoke to Aro, as he got up from his throne. Indeed, there seemed to be an urgency to the matter, for Aro turned around in surprise. You had the impression that the man from the throne had not risen from it for a long time.

“You knew about this, and you brought her anyway?” you heard Edward's quiet whisper, directed at Alice.

Alice looked at her brother, then at you and finally at a curious Aro.

"It would have happened anyway. Better sooner than later" Alice murmured mysteriously. You still didn't know what it was even about. The third man, the one on your right, did not share his brothers' patience.

"Aro, let's hurry this up, Heidi will be here soon, and we don't want to frighten our guests" he said ominously, grinning like a madman. You were far from solving this riddle, but as soon as you looked at him, you felt the same attraction and enigmatic pulling as towards the other two.

Aro took his brother's hand in his own and you could see that his eyes would have lit up with happiness if they could.

“Ah, my dear Marcus! What an exceptional news!” intoned Aro cheerfully, heading towards you. He was slow in his movements, exactly so that you would not be frightened by him. All his movements were framed by an incredible grace.

“My dear, if I may, what is your name?” he asked, coming closer to you. You were unable to take your eyes off him. It was exactly, as if he had hypnotised you, only the feeling was more addictive. You didn't have to have a gift or to be a vampire to know that. For a split second, you ran out of breath and just stared into his red irises.

“My name is [Y/N]” you said, with your voice trembling, as your throat tightened hard under the intense emotions. You couldn't believe it was really happening. Maybe it was just a dream? Maybe these three beautiful men are just a figment of your imagination? You didn't even want to think about the fact that it might not be true.

Aro smiled encouragingly, while looking at you with all the attention that he’d possibly give you. You felt like nothing more was more important than you to him at that exact moment.

"It is an incredible pleasure to meet you, [Y/N]. I am Aro, but you already know that.”

The smile never left his face and during this brief exchange of words, neither of you took your eyes off the other. You felt that the atmosphere in the room had changed. Aro extended his alabaster hand in an inviting gesture.

“May I, my dear?” he asked you politely.

You gulped. Of course, you wanted to show him that you didn't want to give away their secret. You wanted to show him the strange bond you felt towards him and his brothers. However, there were things you didn't want him to see. You felt deep down inside that this attraction had an explanation and you didn't want him to see... Not that. You’d felt exposed and extremely embarrassed. There was also another issue. His hand. You'd hugged Bella twice since it happened and just now you were holding Alice's hand. You didn't know if, when you touched him, you'd start screaming or crying because you were so afraid of someone else's touch.

Yet, his hand looked so inviting, almost familiar, as if you'd already had the chance to touch it before. Aro himself showed no impatience. He waited, still gazing into your blue irises with his crimson eyes. You extended your hand towards him, at first cautiously, and then with a little more confidence. You took a deep breath, before your fingers made contact. When it happened, you felt as if you had come home after many years of wandering. He closed your hand in his, just as he had done with Edward's. His skin was cold, but he handled you extremely gently. You stared into his eyes as he looked at your thoughts and memories of your whole life. You knew instantly when he was done because he smiled sadly at you. He squeezed your hand gently in his.

"Never again, my love. Never again," he assured passionately, and then he leaned down to place a kiss on your hand. It was so light and as gentle as a breeze on a summer day. You couldn't help but smile.

Aro clapped his hands. He was clearly pleased with what had just happened between you.

"Aro, will you explain to me what's going on? I'm sick of waiting," said the nervous brother, who was the only one with blond hair. Aro smiled widely and turned towards him.

"Ah, Caius, you'll never guess. Finally, after so many years, our mate has honoured us with her presence" he said overjoyed and Caius frowned in awe. You were already able to tell that this did not happen often. Marcus, on the other hand, was sitting on his throne, smiling, still looking in your direction. You didn't miss the glances of the other vampires either. Was it some sort of celebration when Marcus was smiling?

“What does that mean?” it was Bella who snapped that question. Aro immediately appeared by her side. He gently stroked her hair, pulling an unruly strand behind her ear. You felt the sting of jealousy, when he touched her face. You should be the one asking that question and not her.

“Ah, and dear Isabella. What to do with you,” he wondered aloud, as if asking others for advice. “As I have far more important matters to deal with....” he began, looking directly at you. “I’d love to see if you’re an exception to my gift as well,” he whispered to Bella, extending his hand towards her. She didn't have much choice, did she? She took his hand, a little hesitantly, but after a short while Aro moved away.

“Interesting” he muttered. “I see nothing.”

“You already know what you’ll do with her, Aro” said Marcus, his eyes never leaving your person. “Just do it, as we want to know our little angel a bit more.”

You looked at Bella for a moment. She was terrified, not only with her own case, but also with yours. You have already guessed that you are not going anywhere. They would never let you out of their hands. Aro knew perfectly well that you didn't even have anything to go back to. Of course, you had plenty of questions, but you were sure it wasn't about your case now. Just about Bella's situation and what the Cullens had done, or rather what they hadn't done. However, you guessed it, Bella was afraid you wouldn't get out of here alive, and at the same time, you were worried about the exact same thing but about her.

Aro was smiling continuously.

“I have an idea” he said, after a long while. He approached Alice this time. “Would you be so kind, dear, and show me if you saw Bella's transformation in your vision?”

You were smart enough to know that it wasn’t a request. Alice undid her glove and boldly gave Aro her hand. He was absent for a moment and then smiled again. You were impressed by the aura he spread around himself. When he smiled, you felt like smiling too. You still had the impression that it was only a dream, and simultaneously you were sure that it was really happening. Aro's touch was definitely real, you couldn’t forget his cool hands embracing your own.

“Ah, lovely. I know everything now,” he declared. You and Bella probably looked similarly confused, but you weren't the least bit concerned and she was as pale as a sheet.

Aro turned directly to Edward.

“As I have seen Isabella's transformation in Alice's vision, I can let you go with peace of mind, my dear young friends. I trust that a date will be set sooner, rather than later and that I will be able to see for myself, what your mate will be capable of, Edward. As for you, Isabella, you are promising immortal material and I hope your potential will not go to waste," he said, this time speaking directly to Bella.

She was still brave enough to look him in the eye.

“And what with [Y/N]? You never mentioned what will happen to her” she noticed, looking in your direction. You smiled gently to her.

“I’m staying here, Bella” you said calmly, trying to reassure her with your tone of voice that all shall be all right.

You saw pure admiration and joyousness on Aro’s face as you said that.

“Isn’t she remarkable, brothers?” he asked Marcus and Caius, who looked as if they had just received the most beautiful Christmas present.

Bella seemed to be thoroughly outrageous.

“You can’t be serious [Y/N]! You cannot stay here, please, come back with us. You cannot be here while you’re pregnant” she cried, holding your hand and looking at you with disbelief.

What she said made you very uncomfortable and extremely upset.

"Bella, I have nothing to go back to. My parents are dead. You knew that if Alice told me everything, it would have to be resolved somehow," you stated matter-of-factly, squeezing her hand in yours. "I can't go back there, Bells." Your throat tightened with despair as memories of recent events flooded inside your mind. You tried to hold back tears.

"I am a shadow of my former self. I'm afraid to leave the house alone to go shopping or to work. This paranoia is overwhelming me, Bella. I keep turning behind me to see if anyone is following me on the street. I cry at night, knowing that it doesn't change anything. And then there's this unfortunate baby," you sighed helplessly, trying not to burst with tears. "Even if I keep it, I don't want it to have a mother who's afraid to leave the house. I can't live like this, we both know that" you whispered, squeezing her hands in yours again.

“But you cannot possibly be mated with all three of them” Bella whispered with despair in her eyes. You only smiled, sensing that this sentence got on Kings’ nerves, especially Caius’s.

“I think it’s predestined, Bella. Just as you are destined to be with Edward, I do belong here, with my mates” you said cautiously, glancing at Aro and looking for approval in his eyes. He was only looking at you with delight, as he said nothing.

You saw that Bella had hard time processing such information, whilst Edward and Alice said nothing at all. You knew that Alice knew prior about this, and Edward could see the vision in her thoughts. You pulled Bella into a comfortable hug.

“Hey, sister, we don’t see each other the very last time. We’ll meet again. Probably in a different…condition but still.”

Bella looked devastated.

“You promise me that?” she asked warily, her tone full of hope. You smiled at her.

“Of course I do.” You kissed her cheek and caressed her long, brown hair. “We can call each other, you know. It’s not like I’m moving to the Moon,” you joked, to release the tension a bit. To your astonishment, everybody in the room laughed at that. It made you blush, just a little tiny bit.

After another farewell, in which this time you also included Alice and Edward (barely, because you were still mad at him) and an official farewell from Aro, who told them to give his friend kind regards from him, the guests left the chamber.

They left, and Aro was immediately by your side. He gently stroked your long blonde hair, but didn't touch a single piece of a skin. After the display of your memories, he probably knew very well that you did not wish any touch for the time being.

You still couldn't free yourself from under his spell and if you were to be honest, you didn't want to at all. Aro offered you his arm.

"I believe, we have much to discuss, my love."

You took his arm gratefully.

"I have a ton of questions," you admitted as you walked out of the chamber with Marcus and Caius slowly following you. You didn't need to look back, the strange bonds that drew you together informed you of their presence in a yet unknown way.

Aro, as usual, smiled magnificently.

"My dear, one thing at a time," he said in a gentle tone, as he patted your forearm with tenderness. When you entered the study with the round table, Aro immediately pushed back a chair for you.

"No one is to disturb us" you heard Caius' sharp tone as he closed the door behind you. You tried to feel comfortable and at ease. After all, this was your home from now on.

Part 2 | Part 3

[atlafan]

a/n: hola!! So, I’m posting the first 7K here since this is just one long one-shot. I hope y’all will join patreon to continue reading the rest of the story. I worked really hard on this one, and for whatever reason I feel like this is some of my best writing. Enjoy!

Words in total: 38K

Warnings: 

TW - mentions of abortion/planned parenthood

Some angst, mostly just two people being idiots

Smut - slight daddy!kink, slight soft dom

Being the new kid in school is never easy. When you’re in elementary school, it’s exciting. Everyone wants to know you and be your friend, but in middle school…the kids judged you on day one. Orla Murphy and her family moved to Boston halfway through fifth grade. It would have been one thing if it was summer, she’d be able to slide in undetected. She could just pretend she was from a different elementary school and be done with it. But no, her father got offered a new job in the big city that he couldn’t turn down. Orla’s an only child, so it wasn’t even like she could mope and complain with a sibling. It was just her and her parents, and even though her mother was a bit more sympathetic to her daughter’s misery, it didn’t make Orla feel better. 

So, here she is, on her first day of school on February 1st standing in front of a classroom of kids she doesn’t know, being forced to introduce herself and where she’s from.

“Go on, Orla, tell us a little about yourself.” The teacher says with a warm smile.

“Um…I’m Orla Murphy, I just moved here from Vermont. I’m from a small town where the whole school is the size of this classroom.” She looks down at her snow boots before looking up at the teacher.

“Wow, this’ll be quite the adjustment. What do you like to do for fun?”

“I draw and listen to music. I play Barbies, um…that’s all I can think of right now.”

“That’s fine, thank you, Orla. You can have a seat now.”

Orla goes back to where she was sitting before she got called up to introduce herself to her home room. She slumps down into her seat and listens to the morning announcements. The bell rings and it’s off to math. The class goes across the hall to the other teacher.

By the time lunch rolls around, Orla isn’t feeling much better about her new school. She had brought lunch, and wasn’t sure who to sit with. Her class has two assigned tables, but she doesn’t want to take anyone’s usual seat. She contemplates going to eat in the bathroom until someone taps her on the shoulder.

“You can sit with me and my friends, if you want.”

She turns around to look at a boy with a mess of chocolate brown curls on his head, a pair of round glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, and braces gracing his smile.

“Oh, um, thanks.” Orla blushes and follows him to one of the tables.

“I’m one of the few people that brings lunch too, everyone should be over soon. I’m Harry by the way.”

“Hi.” She says shyly.

“What kind of a name is Orla?” He asks, biting into his apple after they sit down.

“It’s Irish…”

“Cool! Does it mean anything.”

“Golden princess, or something like that, I don’t really know. My dad’s Irish and I guess his grandmother’s name was Orla so they named me after her.”

“That’s really cool. My mom just liked the name Harry, and now that’s my name.” He shrugs. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No.” She says, and pulls her sandwich out of her lunchbox. “Do you?”

“Mhm, I’ve got three older brothers, I’m the youngest. My oldest brother is a senior in high school, isn’t that cool? He’s going to college next year.”

“Does he drive you places?”

“Yeah! And sometimes he lets me sit in the front seat without my mom knowing. He’s the best.”

Orla felt like she was finally starting to open up, but Harry’s friends joined their table and took over the conversation. They acknowledged her, but didn’t make any effort to pull her back into the conversation. Harry noticed this and didn’t like it. She excuses herself a few minutes before the bell rings to go use the bathroom. There’s a study block after lunch where all of the kids in class could get a jump on homework, or read.

“Okay, everyone!” Mrs. Sampson, the teacher, cheers. “We’ve got a very special treat today. It’s Harry’s birthday, and his mom sent him in with cupcakes for the whole class!” Harry stands up and smiles as Mrs. Sampson places a birthday crown on his head. “Harry, would you like to pick someone to help you pass out the cupcakes?”

“Sure.” He nods and looks around the room. Many kids raise their hands with excitement. He spots Orla looking out the window with her chin resting on her fist. “I pick…Orla!”

Her attention snaps over to Harry while everyone looks at her. She stands up and walks over to him and takes a tray of cupcakes to help pass them out. Once everyone has their cupcakes, and a carton of milk supplied by Mrs. Sampson, the kids are allowed to sit with their friends and chat. Soon, some of the girls start talking with Orla, and it helps her feel more welcome.

By the end of the day, all of the kids are dismissed to go to their lockers and grab their backpacks before getting into their bus lines or go wait for their parents to pick them up. Orla sees Harry at his locker and she works up the courage to go talk to him.

“Hey, um, why’d you pick me earlier?” She asks him.

“Huh? Oh…I don’t know, I didn’t like that my friends were ignoring you at lunch. So, I just thought if you passed out the cupcakes with me more people would talk to you.” He rubs the back of his neck and grabs a card out of his locker. “Listen, I’m having a birthday party this weekend at Roller World, you should come.” He hands her the invitation. “The whole class is coming, it’ll be fun.”

“I’ll, um, I’ll ask my parents…thanks, Harry.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiles. “Are you taking the bus home?”

“Yeah.”

“What number?”

“Eleven.”

“That’s my bus! You weren’t on it this morning.” He closes his locker and they start making their way to the auditorium where the bus lines are.

“Yeah, my mom wanted to drop me off this morning to walk me into the office so I could get my schedule and stuff.”

“Cool, where do you live?”

“I’m the second to last house on the left of Langston Ave…number twenty-four.”

“You can’t be serious. That’s literally right across the street from where I live! I was wondering who moved into that house. I’m number twenty-seven.”

“Whoa, that’s freaky.” Orla blinks.

“Well, at least you know you have a friend close by. We can wait at the bus stop in the mornings together if you want.” The two go into their line and wait as the teacher on duty keeps them at bay. “Do you wanna sit together?”

“That’s okay, I’m sure you have other friends you usually sit with.”

“Yeah, but none of them are new and exciting.” He scoffs. “Unless…uh, if you don’t wanna sit with me that’s totally fine.”

“No, I do! I just didn’t want you to think you had to offer.” She blushes.

“You’re funny, you know that?” He gives her shoulder a nudge with his hand, and the teacher lets the kids know they can go to their bus.

Orla follows Harry outside and onto bus eleven. He grabs a seat in the middle of the bus and sits down. Orla sits down next to him and smiles. The two talk the whole way home. Harry listens as Orla explains what her dad does for work and why they had to move.

“You’re gonna like living closer to the city, I think. It’s really fun to ride the trains and stuff.” Harry tells her.

They get to their stop and make their way off the bus. Orla’s mom is waiting outside on their front steps for her with a smile on her face.

“Um, thanks for being so nice to me today.” Orla says to Harry.

“You don’t have to thank me. Don’t forget to ask your parents about coming to my party on Saturday, okay?”

“Okay, bye.”

“See you tomorrow.” Harry smiles before crossing the street to his house.

“There she is! How was your day? Was that a new friend?” Orla’s mom gives her a big hug and kiss.

“Mum, stop!” She pushes her mother off of her and they both go into the house. “I got invited to a party on Saturday, can I go?” She hands her mother the invitation Harry had given her.

“Sure! I think I can make this work. I knew you’d make friends right away.”

“I didn’t make friends, I just made one. His name is Harry.” Orla sits down at the kitchen island while her mom makes up an after school snack for her.

“One is still good, Honey. I know this move hasn’t been easy for you, but I’m so proud of you for making it through your first day.” Mrs. Murphy sets down some peanut butter covered celery sticks in front of Orla. “Were your teachers nice?”

“Mhm, Mrs. Simmons is my homeroom teacher, and she’s my English and Social Studies teacher. Mrs. Rayburn is my math and science teacher from across the hall. We had a study block after lunch and we had cupcakes cause it’s Harry’s birthday. Tomorrow we have art after lunch.”

“That’ll be fun.” Mrs. Murphy smiles. “Wait until Dad gets home, he’ll be so happy to hear how your first day went.”

//

On Saturday, Orla takes a deep breath as she walks into the roller rink. Her mother is right behind her making sure she gets in safely. Orla grips the gift bag with Harry’s present in it as they walk further in.

“There they are.” Orla says to her mom, and they make their way over to the other kids and their parents.

“Orla, you made it!” Harry beams and gives her a high five. “Put that down, we can go get your skates.” He tugs her along to the counter while Mrs. Murphy says hello to Mr. and Mrs. Styles.

“Hi, Monique Murphy, I’m Orla’s mum.” She shakes both of their hands.

“You just moved in across the street, right?” Mrs. Styles says. “We’ve been meaning to come over to introduce ourselves.”

“No worries, I’m sure you’ve been busy putting all of this together. Your son has been so sweet to Orla these past few days.”

“We’ve always taught him to treat others with kindness. Um, is your husband at home, or is it just you two in that darling cape house?” Mrs. Styles asks.

“Oh, Shawn’s doing some unpacking for me. I work from home, and I needed him to put my desk back together and all that.”

While Mrs. Murphy gets acquainted with the other adults, Harry helps Orla lace up her skates. Many of the other kids say hello to her, but mostly keep to their established friend groups.

“Have you ever roller skated before?” Harry asks her as he helps her stand up.

“No.” She wobbles and latches onto his shoulders. “Maybe I should just sit this out. I don’t wanna slow anyone down.”

Harry rolls his eyes and takes Orla’s hand to help her get to the rink entrance.

“Come on, Harry! We’re gonna race!” One of the boys says.

“In a minute, I’m hanging with Orla right now.” He looks back at Orla as they both get onto the rink. “Okay, so you’re gonna glide right and left.” He spins around to take her hands, and starts slowly skating backwards. Orla looks at him with wide eyes. “I play ice hockey.”

“Oh, cool.” She swallows, and grips his hands as she follows his movements.

“There you go, you’re doing it!” Harry cheers her on. The DJ announces that cosmic skating is about to begin, and the rink goes pitch black. Neon lights turn on around the rink and everyone starts cheering. “Think you’ve got the hang of it so I can skate beside you?”

“Yeah, but you can go with your other friends. I don’t want you to think you have to babysit me.”

“I don’t think that.” He moves beside her and takes one of her hands. “It’ll just be easier to guide you like this.”

Orla ends up having a fun time with Harry, and she even warms up to some of the other kids. She learns that Logan, Owen, and Matt are Harry’s three best friends. Logan takes Orla’s other hand at one point and helps her skate a little faster with them. She laughs with all of them and gets the hang of skating on her own. Eventually it’s time for pizza, cake, and presents. Orla sits next to Sammy and Frida, two of the girls she was getting friendlier with in class. Harry starts opening his gifts. He gets some action figures, a new Bruins jersey, skate laces, and then he gets to Orla’s gift. From the few days Orla had spent getting to know Harry, she had learned that science was one of his favorite subjects. So, she got him a make your own volcano kit.

“Wow!” He exclaims as he pulls the kit out of the bag. “This is so cool! Thanks, Orla!” He smiles at her.

“You’re welcome.” She says back quietly.

After they eat, the kids go back for a few more rounds on the rink. Others go off to play in the arcade area. Kids start getting picked up by their parents, and Mrs. Murphy lets Orla know it’s time to go.

“I’m really glad you came.” Harry tells her.

“Me too, thanks for inviting me. Um, see you on Monday?”

“Yeah.” Harry pulls something out of his pocket. “I won these at the arcade, they’re just rubber bracelets, but I don’t need two of them. Do you want one?” He holds up the red rubber bracelet that has Roller World imprinted into it.

“Sure, thanks.” Orla takes the bracelet and slides it onto her wrist. She watches as Harry puts his own on.

From that day on, Harry and Orla were the best of friends. They did everything together. She’d go to his hockey games, and he’d invite her over to do homework after school. In the summer time they’d go swimming in his pool, and Mr. Murphy would grill them up some burgers. By the time eighth grade hit, the teasing started. Their friends told them to just kiss already, and they’d ask why they’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. Orla didn’t like Harry like that, as cute as he was. He was just her friend, and she liked it that way. Did they go to the eighth grade dance together and have a conjoined end of middle school party? Sure, but that’s what friends do.

High school is an entirely different ball game. They lived closer to the high school, so they didn’t need to take the bus. Harry and Orla would walk together every morning. They were put into different homerooms because of their last names, but they had many classes together. They were able to choose their seats so they made sure to sit together whenever they could. They had the same lunch period with their friends, so it was easy enough to get through the day. Orla tried out for the girls’ volleyball team, and she got on, so Harry would make sure to go to her matches. He made it onto the varsity hockey team, so Orla continued to go to his games as well. Again, people continued to ask if they were dating. This was mostly because Harry got more handsome by the day and girls were starting to express their crushes. Orla was pretty in her own right, but she was too shy to even look to see if anyone was looking back at her.

They went to school dances as a group, but they always danced to slow songs together. The summer between freshman and sophomore year of high school, the duo got jobs working at a retirement community restaurant that only hired high school students as servers. This meant new friends, and new people to hang out with after work. Most nights someone would host a fire in their backyard, and most nights this led to making stupid decisions. Orla and Harry didn’t drink, but they did smoke weed every once in a while.

“I don’t wanna smell like it, my parents would freak out.” Orla says to her friend who’s about to pass the joint to her.

“We could shotgun it.” He says.

“What do you mean?”

“I can inhale it and pass it to your mouth.” He smirks.

“Oh…” She furrows her brows. Harry isn’t paying attention to the interaction between Orla and Trevor, the sixteen-year-old boy who Orla secretly had a crush on. “Wouldn’t that be like kissing?” She giggles.

“Maybe, would that be a bad thing? If I kissed you?”

“You wanna kiss me?” Orla asks, but before she can get an answer, Harry’s hand finds her shoulder.

“My dad’s here, we need to go.” He says into her ear.

“Oh, um, okay.” Orla stands up.

“If you wanna stay longer, I can drive you home.” Trevor says.

“You’ve been smoking.” Harry says, stepping in front of Orla. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He takes Orla’s hand and tugs her along.

“Harry, where’s your dad’s car?” Orla asks when they get to the front of the house.

“He’s not here, I just said that so Trevor would leave you alone. We’re only a block away from home, let’s just walk.”

“Trevor wasn’t bothering me though.” Orla says to him as they start walking.

“Well, he was bothering me.”

“Why?”

“He was pressuring you into taking a hit off his joint.”

“No he wasn’t. And since when do you care if I want to smoke? It’s not like it would have been my first time.”

“I have some edibles in my room, we can have those.”

“Harry, you ruined something that could have been really special.”

“Yeah? Like what?” He huffs, walking slightly ahead of her.

“Trevor was going to kiss me, and I really like him.” Harry stops short and turns around to look at her. “And you know that would have been my first kiss, so…it would have been special.”

“You wanted your first kiss to be with a guy you would taste like weed in front of a ton of our friends?”

“No one was watching us.” She looks down.

“Why do you like him?”

“Because he’s cute and funny, and he always helps me buss my tables at work.”

“Is that all it takes?” Harry scoffs.

“What’s your problem? You flirt with girls all the time, you know.”

“Girls flirt with me, and news flash, I haven’t kissed anyone either. It’s not like I’m being hypocritical.” He rolls his eyes and starts walking again. Orla crosses her arms over her chest and follows behind him in silence. They don’t say another word to each other until they get to their street, and Orla starts to walk away from him towards her house. “Where are you going? I thought you were sleeping over.”

“Think I’d rather just be alone right now. I’m too annoyed to spend another second around you tonight.”

“You’re being a baby.” He follows her across the street and they both stop at the front of her walkway.

“And you’re being a jerk.”

“Why would you want your first kiss to be with someone who’s just trying to get into your pants?”

“He’s not like that.”

“Yes he is! I heard him, okay? I heard Trevor talking to Eric at the dish drop off. He…he has some bet with him that by before summer is over you two will have gone all the way.”

“You’re lying.” Orla’s eyes start to water.

“I’m not, why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know!” Orla sprints off into her house. Harry sighs heavily and goes to his own house.

Mr. and Mrs. Murphy have already gone to bed, so Orla’s quiet as she makes her way up to her room. She washes her face and brushes her teeth before getting into her pajamas. She sits on her bed with her laptop so she can watch TV to calm down. About twenty minutes later, Harry’s climbing in through her window. She looks over at him with a pout and puffy eyes. He doesn’t say anything to her, all he does is cup her jaw and press his lips to her. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head. Before she can even do anything Harry steps back from her.

“Now we’ve both had our first kiss.” He mutters, cheeks a deep shade of red. “I care about you, and you care about me…so it’s special.”

“Oh…well…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He goes back over to her window, ready to climb back down. “Date whoever you want…just trust me about Trevor, okay?” With that he leaves.

She touches her fingertips to her lips and flops back into her pillows. Her first kiss was just with her very best friend, what could be better?

//

“Logan asked you to junior prom!?” Harry shrieks when Orla tells him after school.

“Shh, yes. I told him I had to talk with you first.”

“Well, do you want to go with him?”

“Not if it’s going to put you in a pissy mood.” She smirks.

“Do you…like Logan? Do you think he’d be a more fun date?”

“It’s not that I think he’d be more fun, but…you know he and I make out sometimes, it’d be nice to go with someone that I could be a little more intimate with. Besides, you have a crush on Josie, why don’t you ask her?”

“Because we go to every dance together.” Harry takes a deep breath. “Go with Logan, it’s fine. As long as you and I still take separate pictures together.”

“Of course! Oh, thank you, Harry!” She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. She’s about to walk away from him to go tell Logan, but he wraps his hand around her wrist. She furrows her brows as she look at him.

“But for senior prom, let it be known now, no matter what, you’re mine.” He’s as serious as a heart attack. For some reason, Orla’s mouth feels incredibly dry. She nods in understanding and Harry lets her go. “Go on, go tell your lover boy.”

Orla runs off to go find Logan, and Harry rolls his eyes. He ends up going to junior prom with Josie, who was overjoyed when Harry asked her to go with him. They all have a good time, and they end up having a big sleepover party in Owen’s basement. The lights are dim, and the air is a little smokey. People are drinking, others are staying sober, no one is pressuring anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. Harry can’t help but glance over at Orla every once in a while. She’s sitting on Logan’s lap in a hoodie and joggers, but her hair and makeup are still all done up. They’re kissing and giggling, and Harry feels like he’s going to be sick.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Frida shouts. Everyone gets into a circle on the floor, and they use a glass soda bottle to spin. Owen spins first, and it lands on Harry.

“Truth or dare?” Owne smirks at his friend.

“Dare.” Harry says confidently. Frida whispers something into Owen’s ear and he nods.

“I dare you to go into the closet with Orla for eleven minutes in heaven.”

Everyone falls silent. Harry and Orla look at each other, and then they both look at Logan and Josie.

“It’s not like they’re going to do anything. I say go for it.” Logan shrugs.

“This is so stupid.” Harry huffs and stands up. Orla follows behind him and goes into the closet.

“Timer starts now! We’ll let you out when it goes off!” Owen yells to them as he turns the music up.

Harry and Orla both cross their arms over their chests as they stand face to face in the cramped closet. They don’t say anything at first, but Harry breaks the silence.

“I think this is, like, the gazillionth time someone has dared us to do this.” He shakes his head.

“Sounds about right.” She sighs. “I’m so glad no one knows we were each other’s first kisses, they’d die if they found out.”

“Yeah.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Did you have fun with Logan tonight?”

“Mhm.” She smiles. “What about you and Josie?”

“She’s nice enough, I’m not really sure why I was crushing on her so hard for. She’s not really my type.”

“That’s too bad, I’m sorry.” Orla frowns. “I didn’t think you really had a type.”

“Well, I do.” He snaps. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I don’t think I do.”

“Why do you like Logan?”

“He’s always been sweet to me. I think he’s cute, he helps me with my history homework. And he’s a good kisser.” She grins.

“Is that all you’ve done together? Just kiss?”

“Yeah, I would have told you if something more happened.”

“So…no second base?”

“Has he groped my boobs? No, I’m not ready for something like that yet.” She laughs.

“I thought second was, uh, blow jobs.”

“I thought that was third.”

“No, third is fucking.”

“Then what’s home plate?”

“Being in a relationship.” Harry laughs, and so does Orla.

“That’s fucked up.” She shakes her head.

“Do you think you’ll get to any of that with Logan?”

“I don’t know to be honest. I’m not really worried about it. I’m just going with the flow with him. Why do you care so much? I know he’s one of your oldest friends, but-“

“That’s not why I care. I just…” He steps a little closer to her and tucks some loose curls behind her ear. “I know how sentimental you get about things, and I’d kill him if he ever did something to hurt you.”

She looks up at him. She can feel his minty breath fanning over her skin.

“You can’t be my first for everything, Harry.” She says quietly.

“Why not?” He whispers. He’s just about to lean in when the door swings open.

“So? Did anything happen?” Frida asks excitedly.

“Nope, sorry to disappoint you all yet again.” Orla says, and brushes by all of them to go grab some water.

Harry walks out of the closet, and they all continue their game. When they finish, they all go back to just hanging out. Orla takes her place back in Logan’s lap.

“Do you wanna go somewhere private?” He whispers to her.

“To do what?” She whispers back.

“You know.” He wiggles his eyebrows at her.

“Logan, I’m really only into kissing right now. I don’t want to do anything else.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to kiss in private, though?”

“We do that in your car all the time.” She laughs. “I’m having fun with everyone right now.”

“You just don’t wanna sneak off because Harry’s here.”

“That’s not true.” She frowns. “I just know what I’m personally not ready for. I…I don’t have to explain myself to you.” Orla stands up and grabs her sleeping bag and pillow.

“What, you’re not going to sleep next to me now?”

“I never was.” She throws her things down next to Harry, and buries her face into her pillow.

“You okay?” He asks, rubbing her back.

“Why is every guy a jerk? Like, why is sex the only thing on your pea sized brains.”

“Because our brains are pea sized.” Harry smirks. “We don’t have room to think about anything else. Did Logan try to pull a move?”

“Sort of. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere more private, and I said no, and he said I was only saying no because you’re here, but that’s not the case at all. I just don’t wanna go further than kissing, and he couldn’t comprehend that.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, I think that’ll just make it worse. It’s not like we were dating, it doesn’t matter. I just…do you think Josie will care if I sleep next to you?”

“Oh, her mom picked her up.”

“When?”

“Like an hour ago…after I politely declined a hand job from her.”

The two burst out laughing and get into their respective sleeping bags. Orla cuddles up to Harry’s side and he throws an arm around her. For the first time in a while, Harry’s able to fall asleep with ease.

//

The pair ended up going to the same college for undergrad, of course. No one expected them to go to different schools. However, their majors were vastly different. Orla wanted to be a Physical Education teacher, and Harry wanted to be a pediatric surgeon. So, while Orla was in her education courses, Harry was balls deep in biology, anatomy, chemistry, and calculus. Harry was assigned a roommate at random, another pre-med student; his name is Neil. And Orla ended up rooming with another girl from their high school who she didn’t know that well, but she figured it would be better than rooming with a stranger; her name is Katie.

During their freshman move-in, Harry got his shit settled and then went to help Orla. Their families all went out for lunch, and then it was just the two of them. Luckily, they were put in the same dorm, Harry would just be down the hall from her. Katie was an education major too, but her concentration was in social studies. Her and Orla would have a few basic education courses together before breaking off into their respective concentrations. She made it onto the women’s volleyball team, and Harry decided he’d just play intramural hockey when the season rolled around so he could focus on his classes.

Harry would go to all of his Orla’s home matches. As things got busier during the semester, they weren’t able to see each other as much during the day. They made up for it at night in the library or in their dorm rooms. The two had grown comfortable with one another over the years, so Orla had no problem just hanging out in a sports bra and spandex shorts around Harry, and he had no problem just wearing his boxers around her. One night, Harry was hanging out in Orla’s room while Katie was at work. They were laying in bed watching a movie. Orla was wearing one of Harry’s old Bruins shirts and a pair of cotton panties. Her phone keeps buzzing, and Harry’s just about had enough. He pauses the movie and sits up to grab her phone.

“Harry!”

“I’m muting your fucking volleyball group chat. I’m getting sensory overload from all of the buzzing…” He furrows his brows at the screen. “Why are they all asking you if you asked me something yet?” He looks up at her. “What do you have to ask me?”

“Nothing, it’s stupid.” She snatches her phone from him. “They’re stupid.”

“If it’s stupid then just tell me what it is.”

“Can we just watch the movie?”

“Give me your phone, I need to know.”

“No.” She hugs her phone close to her chest.

“Orla, just tell me what it is!”

“No!”

“Give me your phone!”

“No!”

Harry and Orla start wrestling on her bed. She’s not wearing a bra so sticking the phone down her shirt won’t work. She does the next best thing and shoved it down the front of her underwear. Harry pins her down by holding down her wrists.

“That’s not fair.” He says.

“It’s my phone.” She tries to wriggle out from underneath him, but he’s stronger than her. The phone buzzes again, and she grunts. “Harry, just let it go.”

“I’m literally not going to be able to sleep unless you tell me.” The phone buzzes three times in a row. Harry watches as Orla bites down on her bottom lip and looks away from him. “Oh my god, is that buzzing against your clit?” He laughs.

“Harry!”

“You did this to yourself.” He presses down against her to keep the phone even closer to where it’s effecting her. “Just ask me whatever it is and I’ll let you go.”

“You’re such an asshole!” She wraps her legs around his waist to try to flip them over, but her legs just aren’t strong enough. The phone buzzes again and she groans. “What are you gonna do, make me come you sick fuck?” She starts laughing from how absurd this whole thing is.

“I’m not the one who shoved my phone down my underpants.” He laughs. “Just tell me.”

“No.” Three more buzzes. “Fuck.” Harry’s eyes widen as he looks down at her, and she gasps. “Are you hard?!”

“No! I…my dick twitched!”

“Why?!”

“Because you’re moaning!”

“Harry, I swear to god if-“

The door opens and Kate comes in. She stops short when she sees Harry on top of Orla.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Her cheeks heat up.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Orla shouts as Harry scrambles to get off of her. She takes her phone out of her underwear and takes a deep breath. “He was trying to read my texts and we started wrestling.”

“Right…” Katie puts her things down and grabs her shower caddie. “I’m gonna go take a shower. I should be back in about thirty minutes.”

“We weren’t doing anything.” Harry says.

“Mhm.” Katie scoffs and leaves the room.

“Will you go to my volleyball formal with me next weekend?” Orla says to Harry.

“What? Is that what you had to ask me?”

“Yes.”

“Orla, why were you making such a big deal about this?”

“Because the girls were making it seem like the formal is a big deal and…I know you have a lot on your plate right now. I didn’t want you to feel pressured.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that? Of course I’ll go with you to your formal. It’s just one night, it’s not a big deal. I’m doing well in my classes, I’m not worried.”

“You got so stressed your cried two weeks ago.”

“I was overwhelmed during midterms, you know I have test anxiety.” He hops off her bed. “Don’t sweat it, okay? Just text me the details.” He yawns. “I’m headed up to bed.”

“Gonna go rub one out?” She smirks.

“No.” He blushes. “I’m gonna go play video games with Neil. Have fun masturbating with your phone.”

“Don’t need it. I have stronger devices.” She grins.

“Yeah? Need help using them?” He teases.

“Get out!” She laughs and throws a pillow at him.

Harry blows her a kiss before he leaves and she blows one back. When Katie comes back in after her shower, Orla’s put herself to sleep. Well, actually she’s watching TV on her phone with her earbuds in because she doesn’t want to listen to Katie give her shit about Harry.

The night of the formal, Orla wears a simple little black dress that’s also strapless. She slips on a pair of black flats as well. Katie helps her get her hair up into a cute messy bun on the top of her head while Orla does her makeup. (Orla had Katie help her flatiron her hair to tame it a bit. She usually loves her curls, but she’s been experimenting with different looks.) Around 10PM there’s a knock on their door.

“Come in!” Orla shouts.

“Ready to go?” Harry asks and nearly chokes on his tongue when he sees Orla. “Wow, you look really nice.”

“Don’t act so surprised.” Orla rolls her eyes.

“Want me to take your pic in front of the tapestry?” Katie asks.

“Yes, please.” Orla smiles and hands her the phone. She poses with Harry for a few pictures, and then they head out.

“Aren’t you going to be cold?” Harry asks her on their way to the volleyball house.

“Nah, we won’t be out for long.”

They make their way into the house about ten minutes later. There’s a table set up like a bar for everyone to make their own drinks at. Harry sticks with beer while Orla goes for a rum and coke.

“Hey, O.” Ben smiles at her. Ben was a junior on the men’s volleyball team, and he’s very cute. “Saw you on defense at your last match, you looked great out there.”

“Thanks.” Her cheeks heat up, and she takes a sip from her cup.

“You come here with anyone?”

“Just my friend Harry.”

“Friend, huh?” He grins.

“Mhm.” She nods and takes a step closer. “He’s off talking to Chloe and Heather.”

“Not very nice to leave his date unattended.” He steps a little closer to her. “Especially when she looks so gorgeous.”

“Ben.” She giggles and gives him a playful push.

“You guys had one hell of a season. Aren’t you only one of, like, three freshmen to start this year?”

“Yeah, something like that.” She smiles.

“Gotta look out for the short ones I guess.”

“We’re pretty sneaky.”

An hour or so passes, and Harry can’t find Orla anywhere. He’s starting to get worried so he ventures through the house to see if maybe she went to the bathroom. She’s not in the one in the main hallway, so he goes upstairs.

“Where the fuck did she go?” He says to himself. He had been in the volleyball house plenty of times for various parties, so he had a good lay of the land. He goes to the larger bathroom, and opens the door.

“Ah, oh my god, B-Ben.” Orla’s head rolls back, allowing Ben to kiss on her neck. There she was, sitting up on the bathroom counter with Ben’s fingers knuckle deep inside of her.

“Orla?” Harry says.

“Dude, get out of here!” Ben shouts.

“Oh my god, Harry!”

Harry’s face flushes and he shuts the door immediately. He quickly goes down the stairs and weaves through the crazy amount of people in the house. He had been buzzed, but what he just saw totally sobered him up.

“Harry!” Orla shouts after him, but he doesn’t stop, he needs fresh air. “Harry, wait!” He pushes the front door open and sucks in a deep breath. “Harry! Oof!” She rams into his back and stumbles backwards.

“Get someone to walk you home, I can’t even look at you.”

“I thought he locked the door! And to be fair you didn’t knock.”

“I couldn’t find you for over an hour, excuse me for worrying about you.” He scoffs and turns to look at her.

“I was dancing with Ben and then we went upstairs, I’m sorry. I should have texted you.”

“Since when do you let random guys finger fuck you in bathrooms?”

“Um, Ben’s not a random guy. I’ve known since school started, what the fuck? I…I’ve been fingered before.”

“What? By who?” He shakes his head. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” He chews on his bottom lip for a moment. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I told Frida.” She rubs her arms up and down. “It’s as far as I’ve gone, and I’ve never taken my clothes off to have it happen…”

“Did you do anything to him?”

“I gave him a hand job.”

“Was that your first time doing that?”

“No.”

“Oh my god!” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know you anymore.”

“Are you going to tell me you haven’t done things? I’ve heard rumors, you know?”

“I’ve dry humped, that’s about it. No one’s ever seen my dick.”

“No one’s ever seen my vagina, not that that’s any of your business. There are certain things I don’t want to talk about with you, can’t you understand that?”

“I understand, I understand perfectly fine.” He goes to say something else, but he just shakes his head. “Come on, you look like you’re freezing.”

“That’s because I am.”

After that night, Harry let out his inner manwhore. During the spring semester, he fucked so many girls he lost track of their names. He didn’t tell Orla a single thing. He fucked all summer long without saying a word to her about it. When Orla first had sex the following school year, she slept with the same guy for the entire fall semester. It didn’t end well, though, which led to her crying into Harry’s chest for over an hour. That night they both opened up about everything, and agreed that keeping things to themselves wasn’t a good idea.

//

Undergrad flew by. Orla passed all of her certifications, and even found a job teaching phys ed at the high school level. She’d have all summer to work her ass off to save up some money and build her savings before starting fresh at her new school in the fall. Harry got accepted into all of the med schools he applied to, and was having trouble deciding.

“NYU is offering me the most amount of money…” He tells Orla one night.

“If…if you go there then you’ll probably end up working at a New York hospital.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you heard back from Harvard Medical yet?”

“No, and at this rate I bet I’m not getting in. Besides, they’re known for offering shit grants. My parents can’t afford to help. All of their money went to their lawyers.” Harry rolls his eyes.

After Harry’s freshman year, his parents told him they were getting divorced. His three older brothers had long since moved out, and with Harry gone his parents realized they just weren’t right for each other anymore. He didn’t take it well. This may have led to him fucking a lot that summer, and the absurd amount of tattoos he got.

“Then I guess…I guess you’re going to NYU.” Orla swallows. “You should do it, it makes the most sense, and you’ll get a great education.”

“Harry!” Mrs. Styles shouts from downstairs. “You got a large letter from BUSM!”

“Holy shit, I forgot I applied there.” Harry says, and the two race downstairs. Harry rips open the large envelope and gasps. “Oh my god! I was accepted in to BUSM’s MD program. Holy fuck, they partner with Boston Medical Center for their surgical residencies.” He looks at his mom, then Orla.

“Are they offering you any money?” Orla asks.

“Orla, um…do you mind if Harry and I go over this together? I’m going to need to FaceTime his father to discuss everything.”

“Oh, sure! Yeah, this is a big family moment. Come by later if you want, H.” She smiles and leaves.

“They’re offering me a decent amount of aid, Mum.” Harry says as he reads over the letter.

“Honey…don’t you want to get out of Boston? NYU could be a great experience for you.”

“Mum, BUSM is a prestigious medical school. Why would you want me so far away?”

“I don’t want you far away, I just want you to have some life experience, meet new people.” She chews on her bottom lip. “I don’t want you to stay here just because you don’t want to leave Orla.”

“That’s not why I want to stay.” Her mother gives him a look. “Okay, maybe I want to stay closer so I don’t have to be far away from her. Can you blame me? We’ve been best friends since the fifth grade. I couldn’t imagine only seeing her once every few months, and then I’d probably have to move out there full time, and she’s only certified to teach in Mass.”

“Honey, you’ve never had a stable girlfriend. Maybe being away from Orla could help you do that.”

“I just haven’t met anyone, it’s not her fault.”

“You’ve liked her since the day you met.” She laughs, astonished at his ignorance.

“No, I’m not one of those guys that’s only friends with a girl because he wants to date her.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t say that’s why you were friends. I just think if something was going to happen between you two it would have happened already. So, stop wasting your time waiting for her.”

“I’m not waiting for her to do anything. She’s my best friend, and she’s always going to be my best friend. BUSM makes more cost-effective sense. Think of how expensive the hole in the wall apartment I’d be living in in New York would be. I could definitely find a better priced place here, or I could commute for a bit to save money.”

“If you’d rather go to BUSM, then go. But make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not just to stay close to Orla.”

“I’d say it’s about 80/20.” He smirks, earning him a swat to the arm from his mother. “I’m kidding! It’s more like 60/40.”

“Jesus Christ, go call your father and let him know the good news.” She sighs.

//

Flash forward to present day – eight years later. The pair are twenty-eight; Harry is an attending pediatric surgeon at Boston Medical Center, making absolute bank, and Orla is at her third high school in six years because budgets keep cutting funding, which means P.E. teachers aren’t exactly in high demand. She lives in a small one-bedroom apartment, she’s constantly exhausted, and she wishes she had chosen any other profession. She coaches the girls’ volleyball team for extra money, and works at a bar on weekends and in the summer.

Harry and Orla are still the best of friends. They’ve made it through a lot of ups and downs. Through it all they’ve always had each other. He’s currently seeing a girl named Bailey that he met at a bar near work. Orla is going through a dry spell, but she’s not dwelling on it.

The school year had just ended, thank god, and she has Sunday through Tuesday off from the bar. Orla takes some time to go through her wardrobe and get rid of any dingy leggings or tee shirts. She has a strict budget for clothes because she’s constantly having to replace her athletic wear. She’s chilling on the couch Tuesday evening watching Property Brothers: Forever Home when she hears the jingle of keys on the other side of her door.

[READ THE REST ON PATREON]

[jadedxrealityw]

-Meeting The Family- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

    ☼-🐍-☼

     Request: hi darling, how you doing? can i request a draco x reader where is draco going to her house on christmas break to meet her parents? maybe she has a younger brother who is quite jealous of her and draco together? just something very fluff and funny !! thank you, i love your work btw ❤️

     Kody: YESS. I’ve been waiting for something like this for the sole purpose that i’m going to make the reader a Weasley!

     Year: 7th

    House: Gryffindor

    Possible Triggers/Warnings: Fred and George being the best siblings, Molly being Molly, Draco being literally terrified of the Weasley’s, a little bit of the spice spice at the end. 

    ☼-🐍-☼

   “will you stop pacing? Your making me nervous” you grumble, watching as the platinum blond hair boy walked back and forth in your dorm room “Your nervous? Your not the one meeting your girlfriends whole bloody family today” he snaps at you. 

    he walks over to the edge of your bed and sits down, putting his face in his hands “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you” he sighs deeply. You crack a smile and walked over to stand in front of him and take his hands into yours “It’s alright, but i’ll be there so there’s nothing to worry about. They’ll love you”

   Draco scoffs, leaning his head against your stomach “They have every right to hate me, my father is a horrible person to them and they’ll think i’m just the same as him” he spoke. You had never seen him so worked up over anything before, except for maybe when you got injured by a werewolf in the woods. 

    you purse your lips before sitting comfortably on his lap “Draco. You are nothing like your father and you will show them that. So stop moping okay?” you watch his eyes for a moment as he nods his head “Okay darling. I won’t mope. I just hope your right about this”

   “I’m always right”

    ☼-🐍-☼

    today was the day, you had put on a blue, burnt orange, and brown striped sweater with blue jeans. The Weasley aesthetic really while Draco wore a emerald green sweater with black jeans (ik hawt). You stood in front of the burrow, holding his hand “Here we go” you spoke.

   you reach up to knock a couple times and the door swings open. It was Fred with a candy cane in his mouth. He looks at the both of you and nods once “Hey Y/n and Malfoy. I’m Fred by the way, not George. Just so you know” he sticks out his hand and Draco takes it. They shake hands. That’s a good start.

   he takes the candy cane out of his mouth and points behind him “Let’s head in shall we?” he says and you smile. As you both step in, you could hear everyone talking “Is Charlie here yet?” you turn and face your brother. Fred’s face drops and he shakes his head “He said he got busy with work.”

   you nod slowly, your expression dropping “Oh, okay” you shrug. “Y/n!” you hear a familiar shout and watch as Molly and Arthur come from around the corner. You let go of Draco’s hand and walk up to them. They both embrace you tightly. You pull away from them and walk back to Draco.

   you could tell how tense he was when he saw your parents. “Mum, Dad. This is Draco” you say and slowly brought him up to them. Draco cleared his throat before speaking “Hello Mrs. and Mr. Weasley. Thank you so much for inviting me” he spoke. So polite. 

   your mother smiled warmly at him as well as your father “Well, were glad you came. Seems like our girls like Slytherins” Molly let out a laugh. You raise a brow “What do you mean?” “Hey Draco” you both turn to the right and see Pansy Parkinson come out of the hallway. Oh right, Ginny’s girlfriend.

   Draco smiled kindly, she was his friend after all. “hey Pans” he replies. Pansy waves before disappearing into the living area. “Now, you two join your siblings in the living room while we finish dinner” Molly spoke and leant down to kiss your forehead before leaning with Arthur “I think that went well”

    Draco nods “Me too”

    ☼-🐍-☼

    “Percy, don’t be such a buzzkill and take the candy cane” George sat next to Percy, jabbing him in the side with the peppermint treat. Percy just rolled his eyes and continued to read the book we was holding. You chuckle as you sat on the sofa with Draco, his arm wrapped around your shoulders.

   It was certainly a full house tonight. Molly, Arthur, George, Luna, Fred, Percy, Ginny, Pansy, Bill, Fleur, Ron, Hermione, you, and Draco. You wondered where you would all eat considering your family table could barely fit the kids who already lived in the house. “Your family is much different than mine” Draco whispers to you.

   you turn your head to face him with a smile. “Yeah, we’re definitely stranger then other families” you laugh quietly, a grin forming on his face. “I like it. I’m so used to the quiet that i forgot that actual families talk and hang out with each other” he spoke, his eyes glossing over a bit as he looks at the tall christmas tree.

   you reach into his lap and grab his hand, bringing it up to your lips to kiss his knuckles. “I hope i don’t make you feel as alone anymore” you spoke with a small frown on your face. Draco shook his head and with the arm wrapped around your shoulders, he grabs the back of your head and pulls you into a kiss.

   it was sweet and loving. To bad you had shit for brian brothers. “Hey hands off Malfoy! No snogging my sister while i’m here!” Ron shouts, causing you to pull away from the kiss. Hermione seemed annoyed with her boyfriend and pushes his shoulder “Y/n can do whatever Y/n want’s get over yourself Ron”

   George and Fred both choked back laughter then actually choked on candy canes. Idiots. Ron grumbled something and crossed his arms. What a child. After more talking you had the urge to go to the bathroom and laid your head in the crook of Draco’s neck “I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom. Okay?”

   Draco nods and places a hand on your thigh to squeeze it gently before unwrapping his limbs from yours “I’ll be back. Be nice. All of you” you gaze at all your brothers because Ginny at least knew how to be nice to Draco. You give a sharp glare to Ron before you leave the living room.

   Fred watches as you walk out of the room and like a pack of dogs, every single Weasley sibling crowded Draco. He thought he was going to be murdered on the spot as his grey eyes widened. Bill smiles lightly and holds out his hand to shake “Hi, i’m Bill. Anyway as you probably know were missing a Weasley tonight”

   Draco grabs his hand and shakes it “Charlie, right?” he says and all there heads nod. Oh this is so creepy. “Right. Well you see Y/n is really close to Charlie, but she hasn’t been able to see him for almost three years and such, so Fred told her he’s not coming, but we plan on surprising her when we open gifts”

   a small smile graces the Slytherins face- wait. “Why are you telling me this?” he questions and Percy speaks up surprisingly “Because you make our sister happy and considering you both are graduating next year, we figure your  going to be around more often and- so welcome to the family Malfoy”

   Draco was in complete shock as Percy spoke, considering he thought Percy hated him the most. Y/n was right. “Thank you. I also want to apologize for my fathers behaviour towards your family as well as mine in the past. It took me awhile to see you guys the way Y/n does”

   the twins shake their heads “Don’t worry about it. Your dad’s a real piece of work. Y/n tells us your mum’s nice enough though” they spoke in unison. Draco nods “yeah, she’s not judgemental” he reassures. “Anyway, we hope your having a nice night though. Right Ron?” Bill turns to face the younger Weasley.

   Ron looks at Bill and shakes his head, but Bill hits his shoulder “Yeah yeah whatever. We hope your having a blast” Ron then tore away from the group and went back to sitting with Hermione on the other sofa, mumbling something along the lines of ‘snogging his sister’ 

   a couple minutes later you came back into the living room and were pleasantly surprised to see Bill, George, and Fred chatting with Draco who seemed to be smiling brightly. What a sight. You lean against the doorway and watch as he interacted with your brothers. 

   you watch as they all went to sit on the floor so Percy, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, and Pansy could sit down and chat as well. Who would thought the Slytherin prince would get along so well with your family. “You guys seem to be having fun” you say as they turn to look at you. 

   you look to your left to see Ron sitting alone on the loveseat with a scowl on his face. You wave the group off before going to sit with your brother. He looks at you then the floor “Y/n” he spoke and you smiled lightly “Ron” you say in the same manner. “Why aren’t you sitting with the rest of them?”

   Ron scoffs under his breath “Why should i? Malfoy will never be friends” he comments and you reach up to lift his face, making him look at the group laughing and talking. “Look at Percy. He’s the most stuck up person i know and he is having a blast talking to Draco and Pansy. Why do you have a problem?”

   Ron sighs and pushes your hand away “Because your my sister. Yes, i know Ginny is to, but we’re the same age you and i. I can talk to you about anything, but ever since you and Draco got together. It hasn’t been you and i. It’s been you and him. What’s gonna happen when your married? I’ll never see you”

   you frown. You didn’t know Ron felt this way at all. It wasn’t as surprising though to be honest “Ron. Your my brother and i love you dearly. I’ll never forget about you or George, Fred, Percy, Ginny, Bill, and Charlie. Your my family. If your ever feeling alone. Just talk to me, okay?”

   your words seemed to cheer Ron up. He nods and looks over at the group once more “Let’s do this.” he said and stood up.

    ☼-🐍-☼

    after dinner the whole family including the lovers were in the living room again, passing out gifts. You watch as a square shaped box decorated with orange wrapping paper and a red bow floated from out a room and into each and every ones laps “oh wow, i wonder what these could be” 

    George spoke sarcastically before getting wacked on the head by Molly. You chuckle and look over at Draco who stared at aw in the christmas gift in his lap “Are you alright my boy?” Arthur spoke up. Draco looks up and nods eagerly “I’ve never gotten a real christmas gift before. My mother snuck me sweets and such, but never anything like this”

    Molly gave Draco a look of solace before smiling “Well, i hope you enjoy this one! Now kids open them up!” she shouts and you all start to rip open the wrapping paper and you saw a deep red sweater with your first initial on it. Every year. The Weasley kids slip on there sweaters “Thanks mum!”

   after slipping yours on, you look over at Draco who had a emerald green sweater in his hands with the letter ‘D’ on it. He looked excited as he takes off his quidditch sweater to put on Molly’s. “Do you like it Draco?” you spoke “i absolutely love it” he a wide smile spreads across his face.

    Luna got a baby blue sweater

   Hermione got a deep red one as well

   Fleur got a white sweater

   Pansy got a emerald green sweater as well as Draco.

   Pansy slipped hers on and nods smugly “i look awesome. I’m never taking it off. You’ll have to kill me first!” she exclaims as Ginny laughs beside her “She’s not joking either” Luna pulls the sweater over her head and wraps her arms around herself “So warm” she mumbles in her soft voice. 

   George smiles brightly and wraps his arms around her “Your so cute” he says before kissing the side of her face. Fleur looked down at the sweater on her and smiles warmly “I adore it” she spoke in her thick accent and Bill nods before grabbing her hand to kiss her knuckles.

   Molly clapped happily “I’m so glad you all like it. Now me and Arthur are going to get the christmas cookies from the kitchen. We’ll be right back out!” she announces before leaving the room. Everyone began to talk amongst each other and while you were distracted Draco snuck off into the kitchen.

      ☼-🐍-☼

   “Um hello” he spoke up. Molly turns around and places the icing bag she was holding on the counter. “Ah Draco! Did you need something?” she asked, waving her hand for him to step closer. Draco walks over and immediately felt a cold shiver run up his spine. He was nervous.

   “I wanted to ask you both something?” he says, gulping. Arthur and Molly look at each other before smiling “Sure, go ahead” Arthur spoke. Draco takes a deep breath to calm his nerves “Me and Y/n have been dating for three years now and i know we only just turned 18, but i wanted to ask for your blessing to marry her when the time is right”

   Molly gasped loudly, before covering her mouth “Oh Draco! We would be more than happy to give you our blessing. She talks about you all the time and you had been nothing but kind to her and our family. I know you are much different then your father. you’ve learn to accept and adapt”

   Draco felt as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he smiles “Thank you so much. Uh- can i help ice those? If you’ll teach me how?” he laughs nervously and Molly nods.

    ☼-🐍-☼

   ten minutes later Draco came out holding a tray of cookies with your parents. You smile lightly at the sight. How cute. He places the tray down on the floor where the group sat and everyone began to much on cookies, except for Fred and George. Where had they gone off too? Draco takes a seat next to you.

   he hands you a cookie and you smile, taking a bite “You snuck away to ice cookies with my parents?” you ask, laughing a little. He nods with a smile and pecks your lips quickly, “Seemed fun” he replied nonchalantly. You roll your eyes and continue to eat your cookie in piece.

   after everyone ate one Molly shot up from the sofa and gasped “Godric! We forgot Y/n’s present outside!” she exclaims, causing everyone to look at her. You tilt your head “What present?” you ask. “We all pitched in and got you a present. It’s so big we have to show you outside” Arthur spoke.

   you were now thoroughly confused as everybody made there way to the front door and walking out. Draco grabs your hand and lifts you up from the ground. You both walk outside and see George and Fred on both sides of a tall present, wrapped in orange paper with your name written in red ink.

   you laugh nervously. What was going on? “Um- do i open it?” you ask and Ginny nods, pushing you forward “Go on! Open it!” she shouts. You watch as George and Fred walk away from the present and behind you. “we suggest to pull the red ribbon then step back” George points out.

   you chuckle with a confused expression before taking the end of the ribbon and tug it once. You hear a couple clicks and step back quickly as the box falls apart. A tall male with orange hair and a red sweater with a ‘C’ smiles at you. Charlie. You watch as he steps out the box and opens his arms.

   “Hello my little dragon” he smile brightly as you ran up and tackled him into a hug. He lifts you off the ground and spins you around as you cling onto him. After a couple seconds he lets go and eyes you up and down “You’ve gotten so tall! and your hair is different. I also hear you have a boyfriend” he teases.

   you smile widely and nod “Yeah. He’s hear. Um- Draco!” you turn around and call for your boyfriend who steps towards you, holding out his hand “I’m Draco Malfoy” he says politely as they both shake hands “I’m Charlie! I hope my little sister hasn’t annoyed you too much. She’s mental this one”

   you huff and wack your older brothers arm “Hey! Don’t scare him off!” you shout, making Charlie laugh. He shrugs his shoulders “I don’t think he’s going anywhere. Your in for the long hall Malfoy. Welcome to the Weasley’s!” he exclaims and Draco smiles as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

    ☼-🐍-☼

   the party came to an end and everyone made there way to there perspective rooms. There was surprisingly enough room for everyone, to be fair your pretty sure that your father used a spell to add some extra rooms of some sort. You put on black and white flannel pants with a black crop top, as well as a dark grey jacket.

   Draco had on a black t-shirt and his boxers. You yawn as you began to fold up your sweater and place it in your trunk. You feel hands wrap around your waist and pull you close to his chest. “I had fun tonight” Draco mumbles against the skin of your shoulder since your jacket had slipped down your arms a bit. 

   you smile and lean your head back to look at him “You did? I’m happy. I’m also happy i got to see my brother” you spoke with a warm smile. Draco hums in response and slowly begins to pull the jacket off of your arms “I promised my mum no funny business while were here Draco”

   he smirks and begins to place sweet kisses on your neck “You may have promised that, but i didn’t darling” he rasps. You feel one of his hands run across the exposed skin of your stomach as his thumb traces the hem of your pants. “Why are you always horny?” you asked.

   “I don’t know? Have you seen yourself?” he chuckles as he spins you around to face him “Come on darling~” he coos and dips down to kiss your collar bone. “I-” “-Goodnight Y/n. Goodnight Draco!” you heard Charlie, Percy, and Fred shout. Oh those little shits.

   you flush in embarrassment and sputter out a goodnight back as Draco growls in frustration. “Cockblockers” he snarls, making you laugh. “Don’t worry, there going to do it to every couple in here. Didn’t expect Percy too though, just listen” you say and Draco keep quiet to listen.

   “Night Ginny. Night Pansy!” 

   “Go away were busy!” Ginny shouts

   “Sleep tight Fleur and Bill!”

   “You all are insufferable!” Bill yells making you snicker a bit

   “We don’t have to worry about Ron and Hermione. Ron has got like zero game” Fred speaks and they all laugh.

   “Hey i heard that!” Ron shrieks in offense.

   “Sleep well George! Sleep well Luna!”

   “You guys can’t pull this shit on me! Shove off!” George shouts and you hear a door slam.

   “Goodnight” Luna says. What a sweet girl

    ☼-🐍-☼

   Kody: I hope you enjoyed this one. I really liked writing it! Anyways peace.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Tis the Damn Season

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Based off Tis The Damn Season

Masterlist

It was his jacket.

It was 100% his jacket, the red plaid one he only wore for the holidays.

And there it was, that stupid red jacket, standing in front of the tea section of your local grocery store.

He used to drape that jacket over your shoulders when you got cold on dates. Now, you wore a coat he had never seen before and you had no idea who’s shoulders had taken your please.

It had to be him. It just had to be your ex boyfriend in the one grocery store in town on the very day you decided to run some errands.

He just had to be there.

You immediately turned around, hoping to avoid a reunion with who that jacket belonged to. You looked over your shoulder at him and accidentally made eye contact, making you whip around and flush. You cursed yourself as you heard Tom approaching you, wishing you could disappear into this air.

“Y/n?” His voice sounded behind you. “Is that you?”

“Tom!” You pretended to see him for the first time as you turned around. He looked different, but after all, it had been four years since you’d seen him. Just from the look of him, you could tell there was an ache in him put there by the ache in you. But despite the ache, he pulled you into a hug.

“Hey.” He sighed as he rubbed your back. “It’s been a long time.”

“I know. I haven’t seen you since high school.” You chuckled nervously as you pulled away.

“Wow.” Tom was taken aback. “Has it really been that long?”

“Yeah.” You told him. “The night of our graduation was the last time I ever saw you.”

“Right.” Tom smiled sadly. “You just graduated college right? In June?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, feeling the tension between you. “How’d you know about that?”

“Your mum and I kept in touch.” He admitted. “She sent me pictures. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Oh, thanks.” You laughed awkwardly. “I’m gonna have to talk to her about sending pictures to my high school boyfriend.”

“Yeah.” He laughed as well, before clearing his throat. “You know, I looked for you every time I came home for the holidays. All fours years of college.”

“I know. And I made sure you never found me.” You forced a smile, an uncomfortable silence settling between you avoided eye contact.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry about that night. Graduation night, I mean.” Tom said suddenly. “I didn’t know you were gonna react like that.”

“You didn’t know I was gonna be upset when you waited to tell me you were leaving town to pursue acting until the week before you were leaving?” You cocked your head but kept a smile on your face so you wouldn’t seem reproachful.

“I didn’t know you were gonna break up with me and stop speaking to me.” He corrected you, also keeping a slight smile on his face.

“I was mad at you.” You admitted. “I was mad you waited so long to tell me.”

“Are you still mad?” He teased, making you chuckle. “Am I the subject of a bunch of break up songs I don’t know about?”

“No.” You smiled coyly. “I stopped being mad by the time school started up again. Then I just missed you.”

“You did? I missed you too.” Toms eyes softened. “I called you all summer. You never picked up.”

“Like I said, I was mad.” Your lips tightened into a line as you looked around awkwardly.

“Yeah.” Tom laughed sadly and looked down. “You broke my heart.”

“You broke mine first.” You countered. “So I guess we broke each other’s.”

Tom looked at you for a moment before shrugging, seemingly making a decision.

“We could call it even.” He suggested. “We could put all of that behind us and just enjoy each other’s company while we’re here.”

“You wanna do that?” You raised an eyebrow. “You want to wipe the slate clean?”

“If it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me.” Tom nodded, making you smile. You had to admit, you missed him terribly. The past was far behind you now and you saw no reason to cling to it.

“All right.” You decided. “I’m staying at my parents house. You should come by sometime.”

“I will. I miss them. I miss adults.” Tom shook his head. “The people in LA are so boring. Actors, especially.”

“Actors, huh?” You snorted. “If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would've asked you.”

“I wasn’t trying to be boastful.” Tom rolled his eyes playfully. “I was just saying.”

“I’m only teasing you.” You assured him. “I had to make sure the stardom didn’t go to your head.”

“I promise you, it didn’t. I’m still the guy who took you to prom and tripped over your dress.” He reminded you of the simpler times, making you smile.

“What are you doing today?” You asked suddenly, not wanting the reunion to end.

“Nothing. Why?”

“I’m parked over by the Methodist and the high school.” You jerked your head in that direction. “We could just ride around, if you want.”

“Do you still drive that big red truck?” Tom smiled like a child.

“I do indeed.” You nodded.

“Then yeah.” He chuckled. “Let’s go.”

You paid for your groceries and led Tom back to your truck, easily spotting it’s bright red color in the falling snow.

“It’ll be so weird to be back by the school.” Tom shuddered as he looked back at your old high school. “I never wanted to come back here after we graduated.”

“I know.” You agreed. “But the memories aren’t all bad. We kissed for the first time under those bleachers, if I remember correctly.”

“I remember it too.” Tom smiled sheepishly as he went around to the passenger side. “Didn’t you just get here? How did you get this much mud on your tires?”

“We were in Drivers Ed together.” You reminded him. “You know exactly how my tires got muddy.”

“Right.” Tom laughed as he buckled up. “I believe Mr. Zion called you a pleasure to have in class but reckless behind the wheel.”

“You know me, baby. Always taking the road less traveled.”

“Yeah well, that road was apparently full of mud.” Tom said sarcastically as he got in.

You laughed and started up the car, the cold fogging up your windshield, making you reach for the heat. Tom had the same idea, and your hands touched accidentally. You both smiled as you withdrew them, blushing as you turned away.

“Sorry.” You said as you reached for the heat again, an embarrassed smile still on your face.

“It’s okay.” Tom nodded. “I’ve missed your smile.”

“I’m only smiling because I’m in my old car with my high school boyfriend and I’m internally panicking.” You admitted as you began to drive.

“Why are you panicking?” He asked. “We’ve known each other our whole lives.”

“Your life is in LA now.” You shrugged as you kept your eyes ahead. “You don’t know me anymore.”

“I want to.” Tom confessed. “I hated that we fell out of touch. I didn’t know giving this small town meant I had to give up you.”

“Tom, I told you. I’m not mad at you anymore.” You assured him. “And honestly, I don’t even blame you for leaving. We weren’t meant for a life in a small town. As soon as I could, I escaped it too. You just escaped first.”

“I think about that night a lot.” Tom admitted. “You were so excited to graduate. I had to go and ruin it by telling you I was leaving.”

“You were never great with timing.” You laughed softly. “You literally asked me to be your girlfriend right after I told you my cat died.”

Tom laughed as well, but when you looked at his face in the rear view mirror, he still looked upset.

“I’m surprised you even remember that night.” You kept talking to fill the silence. “I thought all the premiers and movie scripts would have replaced any memories of me.”

“Of course I remember you, darling.” He said certainly. “I remember every thing. All the kisses and dates and fights. I even remember your stupid cat.”

“He never liked you.” You laughed as you turned the corner.

“I know.” Tom rolled his eyes. He quieted down after a moment and returned his gaze to the window.

“God, that feels like so long ago.” You sighed with nostalgia. “What else do you remember about this place?”

“I remember your face when I told you I was leaving.” He said quietly, making you look at him briefly. “I remember how your makeup running down your face. And then I remember you watching me leave. I blocked everything else out.”

Upon hearing Toms words and the strain in his voice, you pulled your car over and looked at him.

“Look, you left. It sucked and it broke my heart but it happened. But you know what? It happened four years ago. I’m over it. So all this guilt you’re feeling is unwarranted. We said we were going to call it even, didn’t we?”

“Yeah. We did.” He nodded but his guilt didn’t let up.

“So stop with the pouting and the guilty eyes and the apologies. I forgave you four years ago.” You laughed, and he finally smiled. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“Well, it is the season for forgiveness.” He said sheepishly as his smile widened.

“There you go.” You cupped his chin. “I’ve missed your smile too, you know. And it’s tis the season. It sounds more festive that way.”

“Fine. Tis the season.” He obliged.

“Tis the damn season, indeed.” You nodded curtly. “Plus, this will be our first holiday together since high school. We should be focusing on that. The past doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Do you ever think about what would have happened to us if I stayed?” Tom asked as he kept his eyes on the falling snow. “Or how different our lives would be now if we went down the same path all those years ago?”

“Of course I do.” You said softly. “I thought about you all the time in college. I wondered what it would be like if I had taken your road instead of driving off on my own.”

“I thought about you too.” A sad look set into Toms eyes. “Honestly, darling, I never stopped loving you. Not even for a day.”

“I didn’t know that.” You bit the inside of your cheek. “I didn’t stop either.”

“You know what else?” Tom swallowed as he stared at you. “I think the road not taken looks real good now.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow and leaned across the transmission. “And where does that road lead?”

“To you.” He smiled coyly. “It always leads to you and my hometown.”

“How long are you in town?” You spoke softly as you pulled him closer by the jacket of his collar.

“I’m here until Monday.” He told you as your noses brushed. “Why?”

“I’m staying at my parents house.” You reminded him. “You should stay there too.”

“Yeah?” He tilted his head. “And do what?”

“You could call me “babe” for the weekend.” You shrugged, lips grazing his. “Or anything else you’d like. I believe “darling” was a favorite of yours.”

“You’d want to do that? Even though I’m leaving?” His eyes darkened.

“Why not? I’ll be yours for the weekend. No strings attached.” You told him before connecting your lips to his. Tom kissed you back, putting his palm on your cheek to keep you close. It was your first kiss since high school, and it felt exactly how you remembered. Tom pulled away to catch his breath and rested his forehead against yours.

“So.” His lips twitched into a smile. “When does that weekend start?”

Time flew and Monday came all too quickly. You and Tom spent the weekend making up for the four years you’d been apart. On the day of his fight, you slept in half the day for old times sake. The sunlight hit you, waking you up and malign you curse your teenage self for not putting up thicker curtains. Tom rolling over beside you startled you but his warm hand on your hip calmed you down.

“Morning, babe.” His voice was husky from just waking.

“Good morning.” You rolled over so you were facing him. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Surprisingly yes, considering we’re two adults sharing your twin sized bed.” Tom chuckled sleepily.

“Must’ve been the company.” You shrugged coyly.

“Must be.” Tom grinned before leaning in to kiss you. You kissed him back before nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“This is how the past four years should have been. I should have been waking up next to you every morning.” Tom sighed as he rubbed your back.

“I know.” You responded before letting a silence settle in. You both knew the weekend was over, and neither of you wanted it to end.

“We should get up.” You said reluctantly. “Your flight is soon.”

“Yeah.” Tom sighed and untangled himself from you. He got out of bed and pulled his shirt on that had been discarded somewhere on the floor. You found your pajama shirt at the edge of the bed and pulled it on, the cold material sending a chill down your spine. You solemnly watched Tom get dressed, noticing how he kept his back to you. He did this to hide his despair as he got ready to leave the warmest bed he’d ever known.

“Tom?” You asked, making him turn around almost immediately.

“Yes?” He asked, hopeful eyes on you.

“Nothing.” You lost your nerve and sat back into the bed. “Never mind.”

“I don’t have to go yet.” He said quickly. “I could stay a few more days.”

“Why?” You asked sadly. “So I can wait around while you decide if this is worth it or not?”

“Well I won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay.” Tom answered. “Because I would. If you asked me to, I would stay.”

“What about your life back in LA?” You asked as you got off the bed. “What about your career?”

“I don’t know.” Tom shrugged. “Suddenly that doesn’t matter to me anymore. The last time I left you, all I could think about was making it big. Now all I think about is you.”

You didn’t answer and pulled a sweater over your head, rubbing your arms to assuage you from the chill.

“I messed up last time.” Tom continued. “I never should have left you. Or I should have at least taken you with me.”

“We could have figured something out.” You finally spoke. “I could have looked at schools in LA. You just didn’t give me any time to prepare. Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

“I was so scared that you wouldn’t want to come with me that I just kept putting it off until you couldn’t come anymore.” Tom admitted, tears coming to his eyes as he relived the break up.

“It felt like you were leaving me behind.” You relived it too. “I thought you were running away from me.”

“Darling, I would never run from you.” He promised as he came to your side and put his hands on your face. “Only towards or beside you.”

“You were right.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you touched his face. “The road not taken looks real good now.”

“We could make this more than a just a weekend.” He mumbled as his thumb grazed your bottom lip. “I’ll stay here or you could come back with me.”

You let your eyes flutter shut before he pulled you into a kiss, one different from the ones shared the night before. You felt your emotions bubble to the surface and pulled away to rest your forehead on his chest.

“Tom, it’s not realistic.” You sniffled. “It worked for the weekend but it wouldn’t work long term. You know that.”

“Just hear me out.” Tom protested as you pulled away.

“We didn’t work when we were kids. What makes you think we’d work now?”

“We’re different now.” He pleaded. “I’m different now.”

“So what, you think I’m just gonna upend my life to follow you? Or you’re just gonna give up yours to stay with me?” You asked. “Are you even thinking at all?”

“I think you’re the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking.” Tom said solemnly. “And I think I’m a damn fool if I let you slip away again.”

You sucked in a sharp breath and cradled yourself as you turned away from him, unable to look at him without caving to his request. Tom slowly came up behind you and rested a hand on your shoulder, gently moving the hair that had been resting there.

“I also think that if a part of you didn’t want this too, you would have left a long time ago.” He whispered, sending shivers down your spine.

“You didn’t want this, remember?” You asked bitterly as you whipped around. “You didn’t want the small town life and the picket fence. You wanted bright lights and Hollywood and that’s what you got. That’s what’s waiting for you in LA.”

“Whats waiting for me in LA are fake friends who hang on the edges of their seats to see if I make it or fail. I saw the bright lights and I don’t want it anymore.”

“Then what do you want?” You asked desperately.

“You.” He said simply. “And if you say no, I’ll know that this time, the only heart I’m breaking is my own.”

You chewed your bottom lip as you stared at him, your whole life looking back at you.

“So, what do you say?” He whispered, desperation heavy in his voice. You rested your hands on his chest and gave him a gentle nod, telling him everything he needed to know.

“You said it yourself.” You smiled softly. “Tis the damn season.”

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