#their mom can fuck off too
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Did Les and Hed know either of their fathers?
Yes, they lived with both actually, and they both refer(red) to both of their fathers as "dad" (well, hed's father was daddy).
They lived with Hed's dad and their mom in a small village/town in the rock kingdom since Les was basically still a baby and till he was around 8 or 9 when their mom died (Hed then being 4 or 5). Soon after that Les ran away and took Hed with him, because Hed's dad was very abusive toward him and it only got worse when Les grew to the height and size of an adult rock troll at around 8 years old. Les had a very hard time growing up in the rock kingdom in general, he was the only mixed genre troll where they lived and no one ever treated him age-appropriate because of his size, even unintentionally. Don't even get me started on the bigotry. :(
So then Les ran away with Hed to go find his biological dad, because surely his real dad who is also a funk troll like him would like him more. (Somehow they managed to find him with the help of one old photo Les had of him.) It turned out that wasn't the case and Les quickly realized that the funk trolls didn't consider him as one of their own either. But his dad still (reluctantly) decided to take them in if they stayed out of the way. And that's where they grew up and lived (in Vibe City) until not that long before they meet Floyd. It was a very strange and not at all child friendly environment because Les's dad lives in a cramped apartment with a bunch of stoner roommates and with different trolls coming and leaving all the time, so their home was more a hangout den for a bunch of washed up adults than an actual home...
The two rock trolls' first month there; Les was learning how to play the bass and he got super into it and he broke into song which then ended up with a punk rock scream, Hed heard it and started screaming all over the apartment (normal and healthy behavior for many rock troll kids):
Floyd also had the misfortune of meeting both of them (Les's dad intentionally and Hed's dad by chance). It's an understatement if I say he despises them
#sorry if this is confusing to read with all the hed and hed's dad and les and les's dad#i only have a name for les's dad so far#which is ish#it's short for “licorice” lmao#he is an awful excuse for a dad and i hate him#but hed's dad is the one in would step on and squish without hesitation#and then i'd scrape my shoe against the ground to get rid of the crap stuck to the sole#their mom can fuck off too#:(#trolls#dreamworks trolls#my art#ex bandmates#trolls oc#les#hed#answered#rock trolls just unlock all the curse words at birth lmao#also hed was just a yapper#he still kinda is#gwowwing is growling if you're confused#because i think it looks confusing
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scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]
#zukka#zukka fanart#sokka#sokka fanart#zuko#zuko fanart#atla#atla fanart#avatar the last airbender#zukka fic rec#myart#yall. yall. dani. this FIC#first off it made me cry twice. not like 'oh im crying' internet speak no. like. eyes are too blurry to read let me stop this for a sec#it is SO GOOD#your prose? amazing#your insights on grief? life changing#THEM??? THEM their relationship and trust#'zuko looked at him and his world shifted on its axis'#ive been thinking about that line for WEEKS STRAIGHT#i can't tell you how many passages i screenshot just because of how beautiful or cute they were#the moment of seeing the painting of sokka's mom? how did you manage to make it so telling character wise--so sweet so PAINful AND so#cute with their relationship?!!?!#'oh so you think i'm beautiful too'#GOD#i had so many scenes i wanted to draw it was crazy#also#'Our loved ones leave impressions on us that can still impact our decisions and feelings even after they're gone'#fuck. had me crying AGAIN#seriously this fic is so wonderful and not just through a zukka lens. truly life changing you're an AMAZING writer#the fandom is so lucky to have you and i can't Believe it took me so long to get around to reading this masterpiece
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the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO
1 like = 1 prayer
#bro was literally trying to rent us a silent hill apartment#we already paid first and last too which was 2700k and he said hes not gonna refund us EVEN THO WE DIDNT EVEN MOVE IN!!#like first month i get BUT NOT EVEN THE SECOND MONTH?? all landlords go to hell#looking back at the og listing like.....yeah i can see why he never took pics of the outside......literally looks like a landfill😃#we're SO LUCKY that uhaul allowed us to keep our things stored with them bc if they insisted on our shit still being dropped off#we woulda been so screwed/forced to move in and then would have had to hire ANOTHER uhaul to move back OUT lol#AND I HATE MOVING the idea of unloading all of our stuff just to pack it again literally makes me wanna perish#but even tho i may be a homeless drifter rn that wont stop me from also working on my oneshot between searching for places😍#the oneshot has a smut scene at the beginning LMAO and smut takes me forever to write so id been putting it off#but now that im over that hump (pun intended) i think ill be faster now brrrrrrrrrrr 9k words so far#its probs gonna be like 40k LMFAO maybe longer... idek#but also ill be hella busy trying to find a home so LMFAO who knows...chat im so fucking TIREDDDDD🧎♀️🧎♀️#my moms trying to see if she can fight him and get our money back but it aint lookin good bros#if i randomly open commissions then youll also know why LMAO
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okay!! now that it’s not 2am for me, i’m going to post my selkie!jason todd hc’s straight up au apparently!
(uh. this was supposed to just be a list of hc’s but i got slightly,,,, carried away)
his selkie skin looks like an oversized red hoodie in his human form, and is just warm enough to help him survive new england winters.
when the summer heat becomes unbearable, he slings the hoodie around his waist
alternatively, he just coasts it out underwater. perks of living in a coastal city!
willis todd was a selkie. he used to tell jason stories of what it was like to swim through the big, wide ocean. of how freeing it felt. how different it is, from the smoggy, heavy air of gotham --- different, but both theirs, in their own right.
but to be honest, jason doesn’t remember much about the stories he was told, or really, anything about willis --- he had been in and out of blackgate for most of jason’s life, working for two-face to try and make ends meet, before dying.
what jason mostly remembers, are the warnings. don’t let anybody know you’re a selkie. don’t let anybody find your skin. they will find it, and they will use it to control you. even decades later, jason would still remember those warnings.
catherine is the one who teaches him how to swim, who helps him trial-and-error his way into putting his skin on, and learn how to make the transition seamless.
after she dies, jason spends three months as a seal, to just... exist. forget.
although jason technically lives on the streets, whenever he can;t find food, whenever he can’t find somewhere warm to sleep, whenever just being human becomes too unbearable, he spends the night as a seal. he ends up spending more time in the ocean, than on land.
that’s not to say he’s very good at being a seal --- he barely knows how to swim, has to learn how to fish the hard way.
when bruce finds jason stealing his car tires, he marvels over how nice jason’s hoodie is, soft and fluffy even after all of jason’s time on the streets, especially given the condition jason is in, ribs showing from malnutrition, and the worn and raggedy shape of the rest of his stuff.
jason is skittish when he goes to live in the manor, even after a few weeks. he always adopts an expression particularly similar to a cornered wild animal around alfred in particular, alfred, who keeps on trying to take his hoodie away, purportedly to wash it.
alfred eventually gives up on trying to force jason to wash it --- he figures that as jason becomes more comfortable living at the manor, he’ll wind up telling them why he’s so protective over that hoodie, and they can work something out then.
whenever wayne manor overwhelms jason with how big and how decadently expensive all the decor is, jason runs away, run to the ocean.
jason doesn’t actually end up telling alfred and bruce that he’s a selkie --- bruce just has a ridiculous amount of motion alarms, which are triggered every time jason ran off. he had followed jason the third night, and saw him transform.
bruce doesn’t tell jason that he knows, assuming that jason kept this a secret because he didn’t fully trust either of them. he would later learn that he was right in this assumption (a rare win for bruce in terms of emotional awareness)
except jason doesn’t fully trust either of them, even after a few months. bruce impulsively decides to do a few things --- a) tell jason about batman and robin and his crime-fighting secret identity, and b) tell jason he already knows about him being a selkie.
jason is absolutely bamboozled by the fact that bruce knows, and yet hasn’t tried to take his hoodie to control him, or to stop him from playing in the ocean for a few hours.
in fact, (under alfred’s encouragement) bruce offers to take him to the ocean during the day, so he can get “a proper night’s rest that a growing young boy such as himself would need”
jason remembers what his father told him, to never trust anyone, never let his guard down. but bruce has known about jason being a selkie for so long, and he didn’t take his hoodie or try anything. of course he can trust bruce.
and when he tries on the robin costume for the first time, it fits perfectly. just like his hoodie, his second skin. it fits just like magic.
oh, it’s a little loose in some places, the legacy of dick fucking grayson a little heavy sometimes, but he’ll grow into it. he’ll make himself, if he has to.
also, jason finds the fact that even though he’s a friggin’ selkie, his callsign is a bird (a robin, no less) incredibly ironic and funny
being a selkie is actually so useful for vigilantehood. the amount of people who talk freely, openly, and loudly about their drug smuggling plans near the ports is quite frankly, ridiculous.
honestly, towards the end of his robin years, jason remains genuinely surprised nobody catches on to him or his tactics yet. bruce is very proud.
even though jason is safe, has been safe for three years, and trusts bruce with his life, his skin, and everything, old habits are hard to break. so he has his hoodie on when he goes to find sheila.
and anyways, he wants to see if sheila is a selkie too. he’s taking biology right now, and they’re learning about punnett squares. jason’s never met another selkie before, other than willis who he barely remembers. there’s a possibility that sheila knows something, anything, so he has to try.
sheila gets a glint in her eyes when jason mentions that he’s a selkie, tells him that while she’s not one herself, she’s familiar with the myth. she has long suspected that willis was a selkie, she tells him, and she’s glad to have confirmation.
jason positively vibrates with excitement, can’t wait to ask, to pester his mother (mother!) with questions upon questions until.
until.
sheila doesn’t do anything after she gives him to the joker. she just smokes and smokes. and she doesn’t tell the joker about his hoodie, despite how it would have been much easier for the joker to destroy him that way. much more painful too.
small mercies, he supposes, in between hacking coughs that brings blood bubbling up his lips.
after he dies, his hoodie is ripped and in tatters from the crowbar, with burns along the edges from the bomb. bruce has to carefully peel it off his body.
when jason was alive, his magic kept the hoodie in perfect condition, always. even when the rest of him was covered head-to-toe in mud, or dripping sludge from the nasty gotham sewers.
bruce stares at the same hoodie, blood-soaked and mangled, so incredibly dissonant from how he remembered it on jason, when he was bright, whole, and alive.
he can’t stand it. the hoodie that was so precious to jason, that was jason, at the core of him, in this state. dirty and ripped and devoid of the magic jason had exuded.
in a moment of desperation, late at night, bruce asks alfred to teach him how to sew. he doesn’t dare to practice on jason’s beloved hoodie --- instead, he starts with the suits in his closet, grabbing the first one he sees, regardless of price. rips a hole and sews it back together over and over until he perfects his technique.
and then he washes the fabric gently, using baby fabric cleanser and scrubbing for hours upon hours until the last traces of the deep-set brown stain from jason’s blood washes down the drain.
he painstakingly sews the scraps of fabric back together with a red thread, carefully sourced to match the hoodie to try and make it flow seamlessly like it used to.
it doesn’t work, not exactly. despite his best efforts, the creases bruce had carefully sewn together are prominent and thick like scars, littering the soft fabric.
so he gives up. he hangs it over the grandfather clock entrance to the cave in his study. brings it with him every time he visits jason’s grave, because he doesn’t ever want to keep jason’s hoodie away from him, but he also can’t bear for it to get ruined.
dick visits him. a rare occurrence, these days.
dick yells at him, as he is wont to do.
these days, it feels like they spend more time angry at each other than not. dick says that this isn’t right. isn’t fair to anybody, not to alfred, not to himself, definitely not to jason. he rants, jason deserves to be remembered as he was in life, not frozen in death.
perhaps he is right. bruce is not unaware of the state of violent, cutting stasis he is in, this putrefaction of his life. and he is certainly not unaware of how it is affecting the people around him. dick. alfred. the neighbor’s kid, the one who wants to be robin.
bruce tries. not for himself, but for tim. for alfred, for dick. even for stephanie brown, who sometimes, when she smirks just right, or says something with just the right twang, he swears he can see jason in her.
he still can’t bear to put the hoodie away, because jason deserved better than to be forgotten, so he folds it gently and places it in his closet instead.
he also can’t bear to look at it for very long, so he forces himself to every single day.
it’s different from the glass case that houses robin’s tattered suit in the cave --- that, is a reminder of how he failed robin. this, this is salt in a constant, stabbing, festering would, reminding him of how he failed his son.
it was stephanie, that eventually helped him figure out what to do with the hoodie. when she was young, young enough to cry at ripped pants and skinned knees, young enough that her mother hadn’t touched the drugs yet, her mother would dry up her tears, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, before patching her pants up.
what not many people know, is that before crystal brown set her mind on becoming a nurse, she wanted to be an artist, first. and so she grabs her old set of embroidery needles, and stitched little designs. dogs and cats. stars and planets. tools and gadgets.
bruce doesn’t react, doesn’t even move, even as stephanie finishes her story. she hangs there awkwardly for a second, stares up at jason’s suit, waiting for him to respond, before shuffling towards the exit of the cave.
thank you, spoiler, bruce manages to croak out.
ah, yeah, she says, shrugging lightly while slouching in on herself, any time, boss. she walks out, and bruce watches her go from the reflection on the darkened computer.
that night, he takes out jason’s hoodie, smooths it out, grabs his threads, and stitches.
he stitches on constellations, argo navis, for jason’s namesake in the greek myths he had loved so much. a tiny seal, playing with beach balls. little books, with quotes on the sides. a robin, big and bold.
he tries to make it as true to jason as possible, not just in death and in bruce’s memories, but as he was in life.
jason wakes up abruptly.
he wakes up in a coffin, cold, alone, and with a gaping hole in his chest. getting dipped in the lazarus pit only made it worse, only made him all the more aware of what he was missing, all the more conscious of it.
he doesn’t bother trying to learn how to swim with two arms and two legs, instead of two fins and a tail. it doesn’t feel the same. it only reminds him of what he’s lost.
sometimes, on sleepless nights that happen more often than not, he wonders what would have happened if he still had a hoodie, still could swim.
if he still was robin.
and he doesn’t have access to the cave anymore, or to the titan’s tower, or the watchtower, and his memory of the past is still patchy and shitty in some places.
so in a burst of impulsivity fueled by the person he no longer is, he prints out photos of robin’s costume from the internet and recreates it on his own.
if his skin is gone, then fine. fine! he’s perfectly perfunctorily aware that nothing about this resurrection of his is natural. if he doesn’t think too much about it, he’ll be alright. his hoodie, his skin, that was something he was born with, a birthright that died with him.
but robin, robin was something that he helped shape. robin was something that he worked for, changed himself for.
and the makeshift robin suit --- it doesn’t fit him, not anymore. no, it feels wrong, like a child playing with their parent’s suit. or --- he realizes, perhaps more accurately, like an adult realizing they no longer fit in their favorite clothes.
and --- and --- what was the point of it all? what was the point, of trying to make bruce proud of him, of getting dick’s approval, of trying to futilely save people over and over again from the same gallery of supervillains who keep on escaping from prison?!
and what was the point of carving out a space for himself if the joker was just going to beat him out of it, and if tim drake was going to insert himself in the hole he left behind?
and then the next thing he knows he’s in titan’s tower hitting tim drake over and over again because who let him? who let him take jason’s role as a son, as a brother, as a hero? how dare he?
but when he’s slit tim’s throat and torn the ‘R’ off his chest, jason doesn’t feel any better. the robin suit still doesn’t fit. his hoodie’s still gone.
he’s starting to think it never will, not again.
sometimes, when he gets tired enough to let his mind wander, he wonders what happened to his suit.
he’s pretty sure he died with it, so either the hoodie is with the joker, batman, or... gone entirely. (it’s not like they found willis’ skin after he died. maybe selkie skins just disappear in a cloud of sea foam once they die, or some little mermaid shit like that)
it’s a cold comfort, that nobody can manipulate him now. nobody can control him --- not even batman.
(bruce had thought about it. when he first had his suspicious regarding who the red hood was, before he knew there was any trace of the son he once had left. he thought about using the hoodie, using jason’s selkie skin to coerce him, at least to stop murdering people, to stop hurting their family.)
(he would never go that far, in retrospect, or at least, he doesn’t think he could ever. to do that to jason, betray his trust so thoroughly and completely... but it would be a lie to say that he didn’t consider it.)
bruce reflects on this as jason reveals himself, the joker tied up at his feet with a gun pressed to his head, and venom spitting from his son’s mouth.
but when he lifts the batarang to hit jason’s gun, or wrist, or anything that’ll force him to drop the gun, he realizes that his hands are shaking.
and when he throws the batarang, he knows a millisecond after he’s let go, that he’s miscalculated the ricochet.
so when jason escapes that night, bruce knows he’s fucked up.
jason goes off the maps, completely. bruce doesn’t know where he is, if he’s safe, if he even made it out of the explosion that night.
it takes weeks. weeks for bruce to track jason down, from meticulously documenting the dropped threads of where the red hood was pulling strings in the gotham underworld behind the scenes, to tracking security cameras with facial recognition.
once bruce manages find where he’s staying, make sure he’s safe, he knows what he wants to do. and, he knows what he needs to do.
jason gets a package in the mail, five weeks after his disasterous meeting with batman and the joker. unmarked, unsigned, no return address.
when jason opens the box gingerly and carefully, he holds on to his skin for the first time in years. and then, and then, and then --- something right slots into place. his fingers brushed gently over the tiny spotted seal he knows he used to look like, the books he remembered ranting to bruce about for hours on end.
the robin, on the top left, over his heart, big enough to have changed him, yet small enough to not define him.
it’s not perfect. it doesn’t even fix anything, not entirely. he still fights with bruce most times he sees him, tries to punch dick in the face, steadfastly ignores tim and steph the entire time.
but it’s something. it’s something, and the next time nightwing, batman, spoiler, and robin fight a gang on the docks, the red hood gives them a helping hand before jumping back into the ocean and swimming away.
fin!
wow this got long
#jason todd#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#batfam#selkie!jason#dick grayson#stephanie brown#tim drake#catherine todd#willis todd#that one selkie!jason au#i swear i will turn this into an actual fic one day#anyways about the using embroidery to fix ripped clothes thing all i can say is WATCH HI MOM#it's SUCH a good movie and i guarantee it will DEVASTATE you in ALL your little mommy issues glory#like you think the batfamily comics/fanfics have an amazing nuanced complicated take on the parent-child dynamic?#this movie will BLOW your fucking SOCKS off. and best part of all: you can watch it WITH said parent#and it won't be as horrible of an experience as showing them encanto/turning red/eeaao!#in fact your parent will probably like the movie too and be reminded of THEIR own mommy issues :D#admittedly it's slightly different from the examples i listed above bc it's more abt what it's like to never reach ur parent's expectation#rather than an exploration of complicated parenting but it's still very relatable and very very good#the best part is you can find it all for free on youtube. also note that i mean the recent chinese movie not the old 70s movie#asteria's fics#i'm never writing a fucking flash fic on TUMBLR of all text editors again#shouldve written this out on a google doc first but i genuinely did not think this would get so long T.T#you can probably tell from the first three (3) bullet points that this was supposed to be a hc list before... it stopped being a hc list#guys i started writing this at 12 PM#IT'S NOW 9 AWOGEJAWOIG#my writing
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I am once again thinking about how odysseus who witnessed the horrors that the captured women went through (one of his main duties in the iliad was taking the women back home and making sure they were as comfortable as possible and safe because he was the only one trusted not to violate them further due to his devotion to penelope. And in the odyssey part of the reason circe sent him to the underworld was so that he'd have to listen to all these women's stories (before he could talk to the prophet) ). Who was one of the few that saw women as people and respected their space and opinions. And was then put in those exact same situations. I don't have the motivation right now to do a full literary analysis of this (I'll site the sources too) but oh man one day I'm going to write a full essay on this.
#The odyssey#iliad#Odysseus#Tw: rape#Tw: sex slaves#Tw: camp slaves#Tw: That one time Calypso kept odysseus as a sex slave for 7 years#circe#Something about the inherent trauma of witnessing how your friends treat women#Watching them keep sex slaves#Then having to bring these girls home hearing about their stories seeing the aftermath#Then living in a situation where you have to let a powerful witch use you as she pleases half in payment for lives/food/medicine#Half because she has the equivalent of a gun to your best friends head and if you don't keep her happy then youre all dead#And then that witch sends you on a quest to the underworld where granted you'll benefit too but first#You have to listen to every single captured women from the Trojan war that you didn't Shepard home tell you their stories#Tell you that you're a horrible person while you are living in a disturbingly similar situation#And then later finding yourself trapped as a sex slave for seven years to an immortal nymph#And then being labeled as a horrible cheater for the rest of history#And none of this well historically everybody cheated or it's up to interpretation bullshit#Because it fucking isn't and granted a lot of abridged versions skip this shit#But if you read the full original stories and still think odysseus cheated then you just have an issue with men being victims#Or weren't paying attention i guess#Where's that meme where's it like the text was up to interpretation cut to the text where it very bluntly states what's happening#And I'm not saying odysseus was a good person or that he didn't have slaves because he did. And he wasnt#But first off nobody deserves to suffer that violation#Second they weren't sex slaves they were all nurses/maids/spys and I'm not getting into the ancient culture slavery issues rn#Third there's a lot you can pick to hate odysseus for but cheating/disrespecting women wasn't one of them#They literally invented a new word to describe his and penelopes love and it means to be so in love that you think the exact same way#Also forcing this narrative of odysseus cheating and penelope leaving to be a single girl boss is#Just the fake feminist mindset that stay at home moms are weak and wrong and live awful lives
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#rc9gn#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#torn pages au#randy cunningham#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#rc9gn oc#it has begun....the ocs... they are coming!!!!#lol but no worries ill try to not make them too much of a focus#can u believe it? freakin 9 more pages holy sjiet. and we didnt even got to the actual idea i had im gonna cry#trying to be normal and not enjoy little dad things i make first ninja do ;3#like helping kids dress cause waiting for them will take forever. the mom hand across body to protect them and the panic run.#the 'fuck the child took off without me' panic run is very familiar for me because i experience it from both sides#when i was a kid i accidently took off into traffic (on the crossing road but on yellow light) thinking my uncle was ahead#but in reality he was behind having a heart attack at my actions and taking off after me#and when i was a teen a family friend's kid i was looking after in the mall took off somewhere and i had a panic attack i lost him lol#his mother was NOT happy#kids? amiright?
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apartment hunting lead me to a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck 🙏😭
#it just happened out of the blue??? so basically the gist of it was that i was handing documents on behalf of my mom and one of the people#in the office just went 'u can work for us here'#and i went huh?!?!?!?!!? but i mean hey why not. it's a great opportunity#might hold off on uni if i do get this job (which i hope i do augh please 🙏🙏😭😭😭)#aparently one who offered me the job was a recruiter so that explains it#i feel so nervous tho i mean it wont be the end of the world if i dont get it but i just hope i dont mess it up#i alr met the person whos gonna interview me he seems like a great dude too im just super fucking anxious aughhvghnhgv#that's it for the small update i swear more art soon a lot has been happening lately so yk its kinda hard to find time to finish things#frambling...?
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WE ARE WINNING TONIGHT WITH OUR PULLS BOYS!!!!
#AAAAAA!!! ANWNGMENGMENGNSMDN#I wasn’t even trying to get the new 6+ Luffy I just wanted Gear 5 😭#I couldn’t get him through the rookie banner when I started playing and I was SO upset#Bc he’s so FUCKING overpowered and EVERYONE and their mom has him#I FINALLY GOT HIM!!!!! AAAGHFHFHDHFH!!!#This isn’t even showing off the brand NEW Gear 5 Luffy I pulled yesterday.#JUMPS UP AND DOWN#Now I can just grind for gems to use on the new Shanks + Ace recruits#(Bc somehow I also pulled the new Roger too?? Fucking WILD bro)#ANYWAY GEAR 5 LUFFY!!! 6+ STAR!!! LET’S GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!#AND ZORO/SANJI! AND NEW LUFFY!!!#One Piece#OPTC#One Piece Treasure Cruise#Shima speaks
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most of all i hate the govt for letting everyone in our parents generation drink lead contaminated water so that i (uncontaminated) have to deal with my parents and in laws completely insane unhinged detached from reality decision making and thought processes
#im not being mean they are fucking insane#my mom asking me to drag my toddler across the ocean in a 20 hour plane ride and complete time flip to attend a wedding#and this is only a few weeks after im supposed to move my entire family and all my things across the country??? are you out of your fucking#meanwhile my mother in law is like hey can you drive your toddler 6 hours in one day to see me for an hour so i can show off my grandkid in#front of my fuckass bitch family who is in town for god knows what#are you both out of your minds???? what the fuck is wrong with you all??????????????????#fuck!!#imagine being so selfish that you don’t even see how unreasonable all this is lol like yeah im gonna put my toddler through all this when#nobody’s visiting her or calling to ask how she is she’s not a fucking accessory or a pet she is a person#fuck the world#also my parents put me through so much as a kid to visit people and travel and i was miserable I am NOT putting her through that too#they are useless#fuck the govt fuck the boomers fuck the world goodbye
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Fuckin. The reason Owen has asthma is literally because his real self is buried alive suffocating and his mom is the one who reminds him to bring his inhaler when he’s a kid and next time we see her she’s sick and then she’s dead and when Owen watches the finale he’s wheezing and projectile vomiting and his dad springs into action to drown him further and when it’s the final act his lips are severely chapped from overuse of the inhaler and he keeps trying to inhale from it but it’s not working and he just keeps wheezing loudly keeps trying to make this all work he knows why it isn’t he’s dying she’s DYING he ends the movie apologizing to everyone and still wheezing
#i saw the tv glow#the way its a truman show situation but a trans metaphor instead its like oooogh you fucking bastards you use my favorite movie#to make another movie that is also becoming my favorite#just the way everyone is working to keep owen in denial and every time they fail they get killed off#and the way that his coworkers at the movie theater are literally marco and polo the moon demons#also i gotta say imo the realest scene in the movie is when owen is there with his coworkers and theyre just like laughing the whole time#laughing about the idea of owen liking the sex scene he walked in on laughing at the idea of someone like him having sex#like his very existence is hilarious and the way owen literally isnt saying or doing anything at all yet they just keep laughing#and theyre like hey look at my eyes when i talk to you why dont you ever look at me#ITS TOO REAL this is literally what 90% of my life has been like god#being mocked and you dont know why youre not doing anything youre intentionally not feeling anything yet its still wrong#theres no winning#also the mom being like ‘i just want to make sure youre on the right path’ and owen spits into the blue cotton candy#everyone is doing everything they possibly can to keep him in denial but he keeps coughing it up man
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Immediately forgets everything that happened in June. Uh. I threw a tea party! Finished a knit hat! Did one (1) queer corvid piece! Started playing baldurs gate! Read some good books! SAW SOME SANDHILL CRANES!!!! Found new enrichment in the form of a new walking route! A busy busy month! Didn't read as much as I intended, but I did get to check off five more books on my Reading Books I Own chart so I call that a win.
The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakranorty ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- WHAT A FUN BOOK! "Adventure" is the perfect word for this. Yes, it's a trilogy with only one book out, but this also works so well on its own, as individual books SHOULD! It's its own little thing. Wrapped up neat and tidy with little threads to pick up in the future. I had so much fun and the audiobook was a DELIGHT, I want to read it again immediately.
The Novice by Taran Matharu ⭐- This has been sitting on my shelf since its release. It moved homes with me. It will not be doing so again. Bland, generic, poorly written. Proof just because you were an internet success, doesn't mean you don't need an editor. Also proof that publishing is about Luck and Connections. I know goodreads ratings mean Nothing, but come on. Why is this one so high. Did people really enjoy it that much? HOW??
Translation State by Ann Leckie ⭐⭐⭐⭐- Okay. Look. This was not my favorite Leckie novel. In fact it very well could by me least favorite Leckie novel. HOWEVER. Even then, it was still fun and enjoyable. I wish it ended differently, but I still loved all the characters and how they interact. I do want to reread this as well, because I remember enjoying Ancillary Justice more the second time around and I wonder if the same will happen here.
What Moves The Dead by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread! To get ready for What Feasts At Night! Even knowing all the secrets, it's still a perfectly bite sized creepy read. My favorite thing about Kingfishers writing is how even with the darkest subjects she still manages to add humor. And it never seems out of place! It's a great breather for the reader but doesn't detract from the tension. Do not recommend reading this while walking through a field of bunnies.
What Feasts At Night by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I gave What Moves The Dead four stars at my initial read through, so I wonder if this will ALSO change to five stars upon rereading. I had to read the first few chapters twice for them to stick, and ended up switching to the audiobook which was very well done. I really didn't expect another book about Alex Easton, but I'm hooked now to be honest. I mean, stop putting this soldier in Situations, but also. I want to know what other Situations ka gets into. Angus and Miss Potter are adorable.
The library has a few summer reading games with prizes so my reading in the upcoming months will be influenced by those. Someone said there might even be a local bookstore gift package in the mix and I Want That. I do still want to do the Bone Season updated read, if for no other reason than to get rid of those books so I don't have to pack and move them. Other than that, no reading plans. I've read nearly every book that's on the shelf in my bedroom, which, wow, so it's getting harder to choose what to read. I guess that's a good thing! Leaves more room to reread old favorites.
#bookbird babbles#reading wrap up#monthly wrap up#june wrap up#books#booklr#i dont want to get rid of the bone season books bc theyre the og hardbacks with the GOOD covers#but honestly. i like the anniversary editions so much better#those white covers though......oof lmao#but like. if the book is Bad then who cares lmao#i could probably sell them tbh#i know theyre in high demand in the fandom#or were five years ago#i think the fandom has kind of given up bc it takes so long for each book to come out#and i mean. authors dont owe us anything and all that but.#girl.#ten years since book one released and youre not even halfway through your seven book series#....maybe you are#four books are out?#STILL YOU GET MY POINT#grrm behavior and that is NOT a compliment#anyway. it was an okay month#neighbors suck my health sucks the weather sucks#but the tea party fucked we killed that one#oh also i gave myself a terrible haircut the other night#chop chop!!!!!#my moms like why dont you just go to a professional and i said because im not paying 30$ for them to cut off two inches LMAO#stylists work hard but im broke thanks#ill suffer an uneven haircut for a while if it means i can do other things like buy a silly little boba#id like to dye it soon too and now that all the old blond is gone i should be safe lol
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#mom asked me to cook breakfast so I made the usual but for some reason it's too salty apparently#(it doesnt)#so now she's telling me that I'm a failure followed by a bunch of sermon on why I should leave my job and get married to a girl and#shave my beard and don't eat anymore so I can actually be happy and not useless#(apparently I'm not happy now) and also says thank you mockingly. Great mom#what a fun trip#also ive been telling them can we go to this specific shop i wanna see if i can find cheaper steam deck there and they all start getting#angry on me on how selfish i am for just asking that#and how i dont care about my mom because my mom isnt interested on used game stores#like what the fuck#i paid all of the tickets for her here why the fuck am i not allowed to go to where i want#pissing me off#i wanna go homeeeeee#honestly im not excited about this trip no more i just wanna go home and just go back to work and then at night i draw and play ffxiv#the only one excited i have is disneyland on the last day but i can think of several ways they ruin it too#my mom definitely will be like im tiredd go find a chair and so i have to wait for her#i hate this trip
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i NEED to yap about personal shit i gotta get it out there somewhere
#AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i really have to shit but my brother is in the bathroom i am going to kill myself#OKAY OKAY UHH HHHHHGH UHHHHH#OKAY . MY DOG GOT HIT BY A CAR YESTERDAY RIGHT. CONTEXT. THERE IS A CREEK BY THE ROAD IN A RAVINE THAT I WAS SHOWING A FRIEND#AND THE DOG IS ALLOWED OUTSIDE CAUSE SHE NORMALLY DOESNT GO IN THE ROAD RIGHT?? SHE NORMALLY STAYS IN THE#BACK YARD WHICH IS. EXPANSIVE N THEFES A SHIT TON OF LAND WHERE SHE CAN RUN OFF SO I DIDNT THINK THE DOG WAS GONNA FOLLOW#DOWN TO THE CREEK. BUT SHE DID .? AND ENDED UP GOING IN THE ROAD BUT SHE LITERALLY NEVER GOES IN THE FUCKING ROAD#WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE SOME1 PURPOSELY HIT HER BUT ANYWAYS. I TOLD MY MOM CAUSE I.LIVE WITH HER N I KIND OF HAVE TO#AND SHES JUST SO. ough. o don't even know how to explain it. AN ASSHOLE??#SHES ACTING LIKE THE ENTIRE THING IS MY FAULT AND BEING A HUGE DICK ABOUT EVERYTHING. .I ASKED IF THE DOG WAS OKAY THIS MORNING#AND SHE JUST FUCKIN WENT "no viktor of course she's not okay' AND LIKE ROLLED HER EYES?? WHAT THE FUCK????#SHE GOT MAD WHEN I WENT TO PET THE DOG N SAID SHE WAS SCARED OF ME?? SHE WASN'T????? SHE WAS ROLLING OVER SO I COULD PET HER#istg my mom thinks everything is my fault and shes just a huge dick all the time EVEN MY BROTHERS AGREE WITH THAT SOMETOMES#AND SHE CLEARLY FAVORS THEM#so long story short im very worried for my dog but too scared and pissed off at my mom to actually do anything about it
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Hey guys can we like please love “ugly” trans women? Can we please love fat trans women? I just really think we should love all trans women thanks
#okay story time#news has a segment about the ‘very demure very mindful’ girl y’know the one#and I’m all excited because holy shit trans woman success story!!! (she got enough money from the trend to medically transition wooo!!!)#all of a sudden my mom talks about how ugly she is and body shames her?????#and I tried shutting that shit down immediately I was like ‘that’s so rude literally what did she do to you?’#then my mom is like ‘I’m also fat so I can say that’ NO YOU CAN’T???? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU’RE FAT DON’T BE RUDE TO PEOPLE???????#like genuinely it was mind boggling that negativity came out of nowhere#she ask kept misgendering her as ‘they’ even though it was mentioned twice that she’s a trans woman and the newscasters used she/her#idk that shit just really pissed me off#she’s such a hypocrite too. like if there’s fat models in a commercial it’s fine (which I agree ofc)#but as soon as a fat trans woman is not conventionally attractive it’s some big issue and we have to make mean comments about it#fuck off with that shit#anyways I just really had to vent about that I was FUMING#usually parents are disappointed in their kids not the reverse#trans women#trans#transgender#queer#transfem
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Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou's relationship is so layered and complicated and lovely and just a fucking joy to see each layer of, to see shift. No wonder this book is my favorite.
#rant#lb#modu#silent reading#i FORGOT how fei du uses rudeness/flirting to control disrance or closeness in his relationship w lwz#i forgot he lashes out to see if hes still loved or if he proves he is monstrous#i forgot luo wenzhou hides a lot of his doting fawning as Concern for a Junior#i forgot lwz really treats tr and fd over protective but at least tao ran tells him off and is treated semi equal. for fei du the equality#takes time. i forgot how MUCH luo wenzhou and fei du use some of their most needy and dependent traits on each other#fei du feels monstrous and WANTS to scare what he loves away to ptotect them from him. but also wants to see if theyd still llve him#luo wenzhou Wants to prove he can protect what he loves. wants to prove what he loves can be good (that one seniors saughter working for the#bad guy really fucks hjm up because he does loyally tend to believe ppl he loves are Good)#he wants to prove rational things tpo like fei du is a Regular bratty young adult (not evil just not particularly sweet eitjer lol) instead#of the monster fei du tjinks he is.#luo wenzhou needs a partner to lean on (tao ran serving rhe function for half). fei du needs someone to make him feel normal#(which tao ran also serves at first - since lwz is Too much like fei dus dad and mom in his heart at first#as someone who orders him. who fei du treasures but fears he'll hurt. who seems a risk to lose)#they have such a complicated way of relating to each other BUT they wear it on their fucking sleeves
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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