#their love being ugly itself but the way that they treat it. it's a character that hates themself for being in love at all

[ahalliance]

i don’t get how people can complain about the writing “doing Martha dirty” when that same writing gives her an ending that addresses her treatement over the course of the season, allows her to finally put her to foot down, to establish her self-worth as an individual and to air out her grievances, and gives her the most respectful and satisfying exit from the TARDIS we’d yet seen in the show . like it’s one thing to dislike the direction the writing team took with her arc and to criticise it (perfectly fine) and another to somehow miss it entirely lmao . the ‘martha feels out of place, second best, and like a rebound’ is an intentional piece of writing that gets resolved by the end of the season . like that wasn’t smth they threw in for shits and giggles, it had in-story repercussions

[tiredfox64]

Can you write about a female reader that is being bullied by other clan members because she's not considered pretty and doesn't have a nice body and tease her the Smoke would never have feelings for her, so the reader becomes depressed and volunteers to go on a dangerous mission thinking she won't come back only for Tomas to step in and go with her so he can be closer to her?

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Prior notes: I’ve been taking some fat naps. It’s not important but y’all know now

Pairing: Tomas x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: That foundation was 45 dollars put your head up!

Why are they so mean to you? What could you have done to deserve their ire?

You thought the Shirai Ryu would be a more accepting and safe environment. It’s not the clan itself, it’s the people in it. A mix of different people with different personalities. Yet they treat you like an outsider. A freak even. Especially the women.

They saw how you would look at Tomas. Such love and affection in your eyes when you got a glimpse of him. He’s so nice and caring while also being incredibly skilled and strong. How could you not fall for that face? Or even that voice. Hearing his voice made you feel warm every time. When you heard his cute chuckle it made you feel good about whatever you said.

Those nasty girls put you down the moment they realized you liked Tomas. First it was your face. Somehow they would see acne scars that, according to them, made you look messed up. They weren’t even that bad, barely noticeable. But after that you noticed them much more. Freckles, moles, dimples, no matter the unique feature on your face they would say it looked unnatural and ask ‘who were you trying to fool’.

Their comments about your body were the worst. It fluctuated between people. Some said you look like you were starving yourself. Some said you look like you were eating for the whole clan. They treated body hair as if it were unnatural as well. There was nothing to be happy about when it came to a happy trail according to them. And stretch marks? Apparently nobody has those. Not on their chest, their stomach, or their thighs. What a lie. A bunch of lying, hypocritical bitches.

What hurt the most was when they told you that Tomas would never like you. That all those conversations where you two would laugh were all smoke and mirrors. He was only doing it to keep the peace and not seem like the bad guy for rejecting the loser of the clan. He would only find them attractive because they were better. Better looking, better skilled, better overall. You are just the background character getting in the way of what was supposed to happen. The background character doesn’t get with the hot guy.

You were hurt, you won’t deny that. You always thought you were beautiful no matter what. But they all made you think you were ugly, a beast. You didn’t actually have a chance with Tomas. You were just bothering him this whole time.

So you pulled away from him, avoiding any sort of contact with him. You even tried your best not to be seen by him. That depression hit hard for you. You felt so alone and isolated from everyone else. There was no other home to go back to. You’re stuck in this hell hole. A hell hole where you won’t find love and you will be shamed for anything and everything about you.

There is only one way to leave and that’s to take the dangerous mission. The mission that no one wants to take because they fear they will never return. That’s what you want. If you’re going to leave you rather leave by the way of death. Death by choice, leave with honor.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You were wrong. Everybody was wrong. No one had the right to assume Tomas’ feelings and desires.

He was disappointed that he wasn’t seeing you much anymore. It felt you just got up and disappeared. He couldn’t even get a glimpse of you anywhere. Not even during training or walking around the temple. When he would ask other clan members some would agree that they haven’t seen you either or some said they just saw you but only for a moment. He got really suspicious when those same girls who were bullying you would wave the topic away as if there were other important matters at hand. Tomas wouldn’t give them the time of day. He would walk off with a pout, sad that he hasn’t heard your sweet voice in so long. Maybe Kuai Liang would know.

When Tomas asked his brother whatever happened to you he told him that nothing happened to you, you’re just preparing for a big mission. Of course he asked what kind of mission. Kuai Liang hesitated, knowing his answer would enrage Tomas. He admitted he was sending you on a high risk mission. A mission that involves you getting close to the Lin Kuei. He was right to think Tomas would explode because he did.

“How could you send her out there?! Do you know how dangerous that is? She could get killed!” Tomas protested.

“She volunteered, I did not force her hand. She was the only one willing to do this.”

Kuai Liang believed you were doing this out of braveness and commitment. You hid your true intentions well. He was clueless to the situation between you and Tomas and how you have been avoiding him. Tomas could sense the bs however. This was not like you. Not that you weren’t brave but who in their right mind would willingly go into something like this on their own. That’s a suicide mission at that point. Tomas couldn’t and wouldn’t let you do that!

“Then I will go with her as well! We can’t send her out there on her own.” He volunteered to go with you.

Kuai Liang was very hesitant. Even just letting you go was a hard choice for him to make. But they needed the info on the Lin Kuei. He will admit it was a wrong choice but it might not be bad if Tomas goes with you as well. He nodded before speaking.

“Go get ready now. She will be leaving soon.”

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You had all your equipment ready. Your weapons were sharpened and your mind set on something. Try your best to complete the mission. And if things fail and you are on death’s door, accept it. Either way you will leave or come back with honor. You took a deep breath and with a big step you-

“You’re not going by yourself.” You heard Tomas’ voice.

He grabbed onto your hand to prevent you from going. He pulled you back so you were right next to him. You were shocked to see him here. You didn’t understand why he was stopping you. He looked like he was preparing for a mission too. Before you could ask what he was doing he spoke up again.

“Why would you think it was a good idea to go alone? I know you’re brave but this is way too risky to do by yourself. You should have asked me to come,�� he sighed before looking forward, “Well, we are already prepared. We should get a move on.”

This was shocking to you. Not only did Tomas willingly find you but now he was holding onto your hand. He held it tight like he was worried you would run off and leave his side.

He was. You were running away from him all this time he can’t let you go. He’s been wanting to talk to you for so long. Get close to you and find some sort of excuse to touch you. But you’ve not just been avoiding him, but everyone in general, like they were the plague. He doesn’t even care if he gets an explanation he just wants to talk to you again.

“You look very pretty today. I mean you look pretty every day but I thought you should know you look pretty, heh.” Tomas struggled a little but he hoped you got the point.

You didn’t, not because you were ignorant or missing signs you just didn’t believe him. Those girls really messed with your head and made you think everything he says to you is a lie. He sounded convincing yet your mind just wouldn’t accept it. You were afraid of being hurt even more. If you did die you don’t want to die with anymore of a broken heart.

Tomas’ heart aches when he didn’t get a response from you. You even turned your head away from him. He almost thought he was bothering you. He would have let your hand go but he was more afraid of losing you than bothering you. So he kept holding on and trying to talk to you.

“Did you sharpen your weapons? You do it so good. I might need you to sharpen my karambit if you don’t mind.”

Still nothing from you. You were hurting more than you were before. You wanted to talk but your mind was at war with your heart. You held your tears in but they threatened to burst out of you.

Tomas saw right through you. He saw that you are struggling but with what he doesn’t know. You’re more reclusive. Even your clothes spoke that. You looked like you were trying to hide your body more and even your face. You never wore a mask before. Why were you hiding all that beauty from him?

“I’ve missed talking to you. It was nice to have a break in my day where I could talk to someone about anything other than the clan. I’m sorry if I did something to scare you away. I don’t like doing that to people I care about.” He spoke softly to you as if to make you understand how much he cares.

You couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

Your heart was hurting and so was his. He just wants to be close with you again. If this is all he can get for now so be it. He wishes it was more, much more than this. You wished you could believe him again. See him as a man who could love you. You wished you could look at yourself and love who you are. You do and you hate that you let those pricks alter your belief.

In moments of weakness like this it gives others the perfect opportunity to strike. And that they did. As your two were having this mission to gain more info on the Lin Kuei, they too had orders to gain more info on the Shirai Ryu. There were more of them and they ambushed you both.

Tomas let go of your hand and took out his karambit to defend you both. This was a shock to your system and you took too long to get your kunai out. You defended yourself to the best of your abilities. Kicking and striking whenever you could. It wasn’t enough and they knocked you down. In that moment you realized that you didn’t want to die. You couldn’t tell if you didn’t want to die in an ambush or didn’t want to die in general. You were horrified and your eyes expressed that greatly to the assassins. You put your arms up to defend yourself one more time.

All you heard after was Tomas yelling ‘no’ before seeing a bunch of smoke burst in front of you. A bunch of slashing and grunts could be heard but you couldn’t see anything. When the smoke cleared all you saw was Tomas standing in front of you with all the assassins dead on the ground. There was about ten of them and he took them down in seconds. He helped you up before holding your face to check for any injuries.

“Oh god, are you hurt? Did they injure you in any way. Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled your mask down so you could breathe better.

He asked if you were okay. You knew he meant physically but you needed to hear it mentally. Those tears that have been building up this whole time slipped out slowly. He realized that there was more to this than he had imagined. He brought you into a tight hug as one of his hands went into your hair and the other rubbed your back. He whispered to you that it will all be okay and that he doesn’t want you being alone in this.

You missed him so much. You missed his touch even if it was minimal before. You can’t stand being away from him again. It doesn’t matter what those girls say you have as much right to be with him as anyone else does. No matter what you actually are you know you love him. You don’t want to die anymore. It won’t help your soul. He doesn’t want you dying either. He missed you. He needs you. You’re so special to him not even for your beauty but your personality. He would never want a girl who would drive someone to their death. That’s dishonorable and cruel.

“Come on, let’s go back. I don’t want you getting hurt anymore.” He whispered as he took your hands again.

Before you could protest by saying the mission won’t be fulfilled an opportunity opened. There was one Lin Kuei assassin left alive. Tomas was about to end his life before he begged for mercy. He said he will tell them everything but just let him live. Looks like you two didn’t have to go far for this solution.

Tomas dragged the assassin back while keeping you close. When you two returned Tomas gave the captured assassin over to Kuai Liang. He was surprised but was happy that no one got hurt in the end. And seeing that the person was willing to talk that means the mission was accomplished. He thanks you both and told you both to rest up.

Never once did Tomas let go of your hand. He wanted you close and safe even if you guys were back in the temple. Even if you don’t tell him immediately what was wrong before he was glad that some progress was made. You were looking at him again with that softness he loves.

“Let’s get you comfortable, alright? Then after that we could talk just like we used to.” He said as he walked you to your room.

You nodded and for once in a while you smiled again. You felt that warmth in your body. Whatever those girls said before was a lie. You can see that for yourself. Everything they said was a lie.

The truth is that you love Tomas and he loves you. There is nothing fake about this. And there will never be even if those jealous idiots try to say otherwise.

You are beautiful and loved. Don’t forget that.

After notes: 🍊…🦊 WHY IS MY BOLD AND BRASH PAINTING ON THE FLOOR? WHO WAS BOUNCING OFF THESE WALLS? ARE YOU EATING MY WORK AGAIN? I think I’ve manifested foxes in my town. They don’t come here and they shouldn’t. Next thing ya know the deers and vultures will come back. I don’t want to square up with a hawk again…I never did that. Adiós!

[sitp-recs]

HP Rec Fest 2024

day 31: most recent fic you loved

aand that’s a wrap! I’m so happy to close another year with @hprecfest, this was a very fun and cathartic experience. the 3 most recent fics I’ve loved were all written by the same brilliant mind - which btw is someone I’ve never recced before - so I thought I’d make this final post a love letter to the incredibly talented @garagepaperback. they had already slayed me with an impressive debut coyote ugly, but the way they were able to reach deep into my soul, dismantle and repair it with the holy triad of soft pornography objection, javelin and soft is beyond my comprehension. these fics might differ in tone and approach but one thing they have in common: peak romance! and I’m talking real romance, check this out:

“It’s not enough to have him so wholly—he’s always been Harry’s like this, boneless or strung up like a bow, a petal bled all over his face, red wandering—Harry wants him further, more. To have the sort of flush won only with a sore muscle, not the picket-white pretty shit only. Whole, a home.” (Excerpt from objection)

the way garage’s Harry feels so real, so relatable, and equally obsessed with Draco? poetic cinema. I really adore his explosive dynamics with a biting yet pliant Draco who knows just how to push all his buttons. the result is a feisty, visceral, wanton and absolutely unhinged relationship that I can’t get enough of. objection is a jealous!Harry treat with hot, decadent sex between exes on Draco’s fake wedding day - to Blaise 😌 I adore the push and pull, the heat, the lush prose, the soft ending!

javelin ruined me in ways I anticipated but did not calculate in totality - I’m particularly sensitive to divorce fics and was shattered by this painful yet gorgeous dive into the ache and the loneliness of a broken relationship you just can’t let go of. what a brilliant character study and a study on marriage itself - profound, introspective, devastating. and have I mentioned the non-con legilimency? 🔥

last but not least, soft plays with some of my favourite kinks in fic (namely: cockwarming, sex spells and Harry being into dirty talk), and delivers all the softness (hah!) I was looking for, plus the romance! I’m always a slut for 8th year secret relationship, and the intimacy here made my heart flutter. their chemistry is hot and sweet, with soft dom Draco indulging Harry and giving him exactly what he wants, bonus points for amazing Goyle!

finding garage’s work was a highlight of my 2024; their gorgeous prose, compelling characters and sweet romance are such a treat, and their smutty collab with eleadore and yikes (see also: the pile collection) is giving me life! good food 🥘 enjoy!

[lucyskywalker]

I’m actually very curious to know why you don’t like jonsa! my reasons for example are: their fandom is acting way too insane for a ship that never happened and won’t ever happen; kit harington is unfortunately ugly. what are yours?

There are so many reasons that I dont even know how to begin with.

Alright. Let's go.

1st reason: It is only solely based on the show, and I really mean that. When you get to read metas and posts surrounding the ship, u realize these people never opened the books, while traying to pretend they did. I'm not being entitled. It is just obvious with what they write. Everything is taken out of contest. Especially surrounding Jon's pov and his lack of relationship with Sansa.

+ I despise the show. The only good thing about D&D's creations were the Dragons CGI and the dothraki and valyrian language, and it ends there. Out of it, everything sucks. They have rewrote all the female character in such a sexist and ridiculous way that I can't even start explaining for you.

2nd. I ship jonrya. Ik it is not everyone's cup of tea, but I do. And no. Idc if they become canon or not. I like the concept. I love their relationship. And I love what they can become. Now why the fact I ship Jonrya actually matters? Well, specially after season 7, a lot of Jonsa fans started taking things from Jon PIV that were about his love for Arya, and make it be about Sansa, with ridiculous excuses for their takes. The most commun and easy example being "What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister?" When Jon asks Melissandre, he is referring to Arya. And no. It is not a different interpretation. It is about Arya he is talking about. Another one was "Would you bed your sister?" And Again Jon thinks about Arya, but when you read Jonsa's metas; they say he is thinking about Sansa. Another common Jonsa take is that Jon died for his men in the books, or for Sansa, when again, this is not the case. He died for Arya. And that is explicit on the text with no room for other interpretation. No wonder why the last thing he tought was about her.

Jonsas straigh up lie about what happens in the books to support their takes, or they just read metas here on tumblr and believe it. Idk and neither do I wish to know.

Not only that. They started behaving as they had a moral high ground over jonerys and jonryas... when they don't, it is still incestuos and still problematic to modern standards - not only that, they behave entitled to this day, and attack Jonrya shippers and Jonerys shippers in a real coward way.

Many, many times, I received anon hate telling me to *kms*, slit my wrists. Someone even wished for me to get raped over a fictional ship.

My disdain over the ship is not only with the ship itself, hence taking a lot of Jon's dynamic and bound with Arya to give it to Sansa, which is really important in both of their stories and arc, but mostly about the fandom, and how I was affected by it. If it was treated only like a crackship (what book wise, actually is), as my beloved hitsukarin from bleach, I would have no problem with it.

But the community is far one of the most toxic ones I have ever seen or been in contact with. Actually, dealing with them heavily impacted my mental health.

3rd. I really didnt like Sansa way before dealing with the fandom. Since my favorite is Arya, the way Sansa treated her never vibed with me. (And no. It isn't normal sibling behavior. I am an older sister. I would never do half of the things Sansa have done, not even on 11). After book 1, I felt pity for her, but she still was the last interesting character for me, even if her Vale story was.... I guess, more berable.

After getting into the fandom, tho, Jonsas and Stansas ruined Sansa for me in every possible way as well to the point I read her chapters and I won't feel any kind of enjoyment in her journey or her character. She is my least liked character, not because "she is the most horrible person in the books" (she is not. She is far from being that. ) but because her fans made me feel terribly bitter about her. It is not logical or fair, but again, I'm not trying to be.

[genderkoolaid]

advice on how to get over the fear that t is going to make me ugly? or that i’m going to miss “the old me”

i’m a queer trans guy and i’ve been questioning going on t for years now and i know i definitely want bottom growth, body fat redistribution and more body hair.

but im err on the side of face and voice changes. i’m scared of disliking my new voice and suddenly growing dysphoric over it (i dont have too much voice dysphoria now) and disliking how my new face will look. i’m kinda genderfluid as well so it’s complicated. but i don’t want to go my whole life without knowing what it’s like to be on hrt. but i can’t get over the fear of looking/finding myself ugly and undesirable and losing my community... which is ironic cuz i find other trans men attractive as hell. i discussed this in therapy and i still feel this way :/

i wish there was a way for me to start without telling anyone and then breaking the news when i’m experiencing changes and feeling more confident about it. i have my gender dysphoria diagnosis and i can start if i want to, but i need my family’s financial support. i don’t want to make it a big deal since it’s just something i’d be trying out to feel more like myself in certain ways.

sorry this turned into a long ass rant and you don’t have to reply but i’m just gonna kindly leave it in the ask box 💀

There's a post that goes like "all of life is irreversible. i cannot go back a single second" and I think thats something good to keep in mind when you are thinking through this. You are already living with a body that has changed and will continue to change in ways largely out of your control. You are already living in a post-irreversible-alteration body.

If you do go on T and find you don't like how your voice sounds: for one, you can stop at any time (& if you haven't checked out microdosing as an option, you should). But two: plenty of people live with a deeper voice than they want. Plenty of people live with facial hair they dislike. You can pursue the same therapies and procedures they do. Or maybe you don't, and you find ways to live with a voice or face you aren't totally in love with.

So much detransition fearmongering, especially directed at transmascs & assoc. trans people, heavily relies on the specter of the fallen woman, itself steeped in trans-misogyny & intersexism. The idea that, for one, a "woman" who has mixed-sex features is ugly and undesirable, and two, that a "woman" made undesirable is forever doomed to be miserable and worthless. The transphobic story of detransition keeps our bodies stuck in this moment of revulsion and regret, narratively preventing us as characters from being able to move on and live happy lives in atypical bodies. Even if you do regret/dislike some things about T, you are not forever stuck in that feeling. The story does not stop at that! You will just keep living and find new ways of dealing with your bodily feelings!

The social aspect of this is a bit more complicated but I also have some firsthand experience with it. Because, as mentioned before, there's a lot of transphobic misogyny/misogynistic transphobia that affects transmascs & others who go on T, who have to confront the feeling of losing your potential desirability. And then there's also the way many people are treated after going on T, facing a whole new area of bodily scrutiny: you may suddenly have people making comments about how someone needs to force teenage boys to shave because their facial hair is a personal offense. I went from being self-conscious about how high my voice was to being self-conscious about how undeniably trans my voice was. And, specifically, my facial hair, voice changes, etc. were all signs of my transmasculine desire, and I became self-conscious about how obvious it was that I desired being trans, I desired this body. I could no longer let everyone pretend I was a cishet girl at family gatherings and avoid confronting these issues, because I had essentially written I WANT TO BE A TRANNY all over my physical form.

This is something I'm still struggling with myself. I, like many other queer & autistic people, already struggled with feeling desirable or worthy of being seen alongside conventionally attractive cishet people who could act normal. Being visibly trans, and taking a huge step away from the desirable cis-perisex-girl body, can really open up that can of worms. Especially being genderfluid/genderqueer! Because we often cannot find a comfortable space for ourselves within the conventions of attractiveness for cis men, like some binary trans men are able to.

But ultimately, I don't regret going on T at all. I would have had body issues regardless, and I got a lot out of going on T. I think mentally preparing yourself to struggle with these things, and seeking out other transmasc people, is a big help. Again: all of life is irreversible. we cannot go back a single second. We are already living in imperfect bodies we struggle to love or see as worthy. If you know you want some of the things T can offer, and you don't want to go your whole life without knowing, then just do it. Dive in, and don't feel any shame if you decide to get out. Just keep living and finding ways to live better right now.

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.

and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.

and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?

hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.

it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh

[gamersagainstthemachine]

i hear sh2 remake is good? i know nothin about silent hill. got my sister into RE and just beat dmc1 with her watching, hoping she starts to like 3 and 4 when i get there. but yeah, vido games! love em

ive been playing these games because i found the ps2 which i thought had died and i also frequent thrift stores and have been able to find these games cheap (not the silent hill games obviously collectors have scalped those) but my friends got me dmc1 because it "seemed like something id like" yeag. it cracks me up especially the devilman references. but it seems like these games are also just popular again with the general person?

i havent played sh2 remake myself yet im busyyy and also tired of people rushing me to play things instead of doing it in my own pace. but ive been following along the release and it has some good things to it like environment details and even more endings. people have always been praising the little things in the writing and art direction which arent in the remake and they havent been replaced with better content so its lesser in this way. absolutely no way replace plauing the original with this one lol

i like games that are like interactive theatre with a great soundtrack and silent hill is often this. there is a lot of silent hill content, from installments that prove games are art to b movies that facilitate stupid cliches and it also encompasses other franchises like forbidden siren which i have played a bit of and team psyskallars fangames which are better silent hill games than some silent hill games and also hit closer for me because they take place in urban scandinavia. You know me its all been indie game supremacy because i didnt want triple A bullshit but ive made friends that have introduced me to the value of Big Gaming because its a part of them and because they are important to our culture and they are creative and its fun and there IS a lot of bullshit done in the name of marketability like blatant sexism and racism which i complained about the other day completely devalues the new dragon age for me because once i start thinking the authors are idiots with no other values than representing a power fantasy it really just feels like a waste of time to visit their work. Not that i dont want a power fantasy but i need it to address what matters to me especially the unattrative parts of life. Silent hill 2 is exactly this its what marias character is all about. i set my standard for video games when i first heard about silent hill 2 and similar games. the thing to like about it is that it is just so honest. its not really about people being horrible and ugly it makes a point about people being multifaceted and realistic and it is a sufferfest sure but its to drive a point home about ultimately love and gotta like media that examines the concept of love. they never try to censor themselves which i like because adults dont need content censored for themes they have specifically sought out depictions of. because it doesnt dumb down or glamourize it is entirely different from other commercial experiences which makes it weird that it is a popular franchise and video game with things like remakes coming out because you just cant treat it like any other consumable product its not anonymous or universal like that which lends itself to waifus and merch. but at the same time its also a video game made for an audience of adult gamers so it was made to create a fanbase around it. the best thing about being a silent hill fan is the gatekeeping and elitism it has resulted in and im serious because they arent games for everyone and it shouldnt be treated like they are. everything in moderation and all and the overexposure and bad retellings completely undermining or missing the sophisticated point is really prevalent. mr ito said it best https://x.com/adsk4/status/1495530138922283008 but seriously i have to even ask silent hill cosplayers and fanartists if theyve even played/seen the games and they often say no. a bit alienating. i think its fair to say the reputation overshadows the actual content for better or worse. it gets more exposure with the remake delightfully making history repeat itself like dis

i think you would like silent hill games for their thoughtfulness i rec emulating 1-3 maybe 4 and maybe give siren a try even though its difficult. it is pure japanese horror and the face model scans are very haunting the plot is also more resident evil-scoped. but yeah very big franchises, tap out when you get tired.

personally i think any remake should be played as a sequel although triple a games are usually finished products when they come out so they dont really need more content? but people talk about remakes all the time so playing through an old game series like dmc made me think about it. DMC4 has a lot of things to like that were never realized or only realized in pachinko games because it wanted to be this big final fantasy hero adventure but had rushed development. playing it feels very stiff and vague and it should have been much longer story wise but it was padded out with nonsense gameplay. it "needs" a remake or prequel for sure! DMC2 was also never realized and i personally like its tone more and i think it could be remade to be the sequel that DMC never got.

DMC truly feels like the designers just did whatever they think is fun and throw it at you and thats good because media should be challenging and the gameplay and puzzles definitely felt like the game was treating you like an adult. I was really surprised when DMC turned out to be important to me. Because it wasnt really where id look for a game experience that is intelligent or subversive. But i was surprised when its an emotionally smart game. ill be honest what makes DMC work is the camp, which isnt necessarily profitable or what a straight audience of noncreatives want so i think thats why it kinda has been worked out since DMC1. but dmc1 güde. i dont remember the last time i noticed i was smiling while playing a game my genuine and& honest reaction

i thought dmc was final fantasy for the longest time which is why i got pleasantly surprised by the dmc1 cutscenes you know the ones when they happened ahahah. that game is just entertaining i hope you and your sister had fun with it too! i have played all of the dmc games now except for the reboot which i am very interested in playing because even though its a bad dmc game from what i have seen it looks like an excellent devilman game it seems their train of thought was very similar to crybaby. dmc4 was almost my least favorite moreso than 2 but i can imagine DMC4 is very good if youre a catholic teenager. dmc5 is worth playing the other games for, its like the details and continuity keep hitting you and V is goth incarnate he is the character ever. his official manga is that good and it has no official english release at all. fucked. the dmc1 anime is fun its very 2008 anime. The franchise overall feels like it keeps giving.but it also feels like its thinning out by relying too much on happy reactions in the reader like jokes. it really hurts vergils character the most i think.

i was so excited to play 4 more games like dmc1 but they are very different which also has its merits i guess but i miss the darker stuff and difficulty. dmc5 gives you gold orbs just for starting the game... the novels can def be skipped for fanwritten lore dumps

its pretty common for people to say that dmc is for kids but i think its exactly for people that have seen all the tropes genres and series it draws on before and want a fresh spin on them that doesnt take itself seriously when it comes to plot but does handle emotional maturity carefully. its different from resident evil in this way right? when they arent implementing internet discourse, then franchises are increasingly asking us to take their stories seriously marvel is prime example of this and i just cant bring myself to gaf so i lov dmc way more than resident evil. i also got into that franchise by chance because i won a copy of re8 village and some of my ps4 games were stolen so i needed things to play. im peeved by the shallowness of the series but they do haunted house experiences SO well. i get a bit scareds. RE engine is also insaaane they really spend so much money on rendering every single wrinkle on dantes ass in leather and dynamic wetness its excellent to play with

the thing about these games is that you can really help getting an attachment to them after playing because they are really effective. i understand the dedicated audiences. I hope you take your time with them and its so awesome to bring somebody else along for the ride. it can be challenging to visit old media that has its installments in perspective to eachother because old players view them retrospectively. but there is also some cool historical fan content to find. and its one of those beloved franchises once you know it you just remember seeing it everywhere. i think my friend had pictures of trish and nevan on her computer when we were like 9 and had no idea what it was from but our favorite activity was of course Google Images

so ya i wrote much but that was all i wanted to say. youll have to list the replies in numbered order or something if you want to add anything XD

clown lady 4 u V have a wonderful day

[maxdibert]

yeah, people love to act like w0lfstar are some canon queer icons when in the actual canon Sirius had posters of bikini clad women on his walls and mocked his former classmate for being a crybaby (Snivellus) well into his adulthood, while Remus got a younger woman pregnant and then bolted in fear of the responsibility. none of which means they couldn't be gay or bi! but all of which points to neither of them being the soft uwu boys that fanon likes to dream them up as. all of these character traits are the things that make them even remotely interesting, and I'll never understand the impulse to remove them in order to make them more palatable or nicer. they were assholes too!

Wolfstar is a ship as old as the fandom itself, but its characterization of the characters used to be much more accurate. Back in the late 00s, there wasn’t this kind of twink Sirius who had been turned into a completely different character by stripping away all his essential traits, including the fact that he was always described in the books as the epitome of traditional masculinity: the tallest of them all (not just of the Marauders, but in general; he was taller than most of the characters, and Rowling constantly compares his height with others), the most violent, the most attractive, the one who made the girls sigh, the one with posters of women in bikinis in his room, the one who had A HUGE MOTORCYCLE, FOR GOD'S SAKE. I mean, Rowling really makes an effort to emphasize all these things at various points in the story—she likes to dwell on how handsome, masculine, and handsome, and once again, handsome, Sirius Black was. She repeats it like eighty times. In fact, she repeats it as often as she repeats that Severus is ugly, slouched, and looks like a shadow. Sirius and Severus are described in great detail, both ironically with completely different physiques and diametrically opposed appearances. With the other Marauders, you know certain things, but there isn’t the same emphasis as there is with Sirius. Rowling wants you to know that Sirius Black was incredibly handsome, super tall, a rebellious tough guy with a motorcycle, and that he had posters of naked women in his room. She wants you to know that he was a guy who performed his masculinity in a very heteronormative way. Could he have liked men? Sure, we won’t rule it out, anything is possible, but you can like men and still be a tough guy—those things aren’t mutually exclusive. And I don’t know if Sirius was straight, bisexual, or gay; that’s not something specified, but regardless of his sexual preferences, he was a tough guy. And Rowling stamps that fact into your brain all the time.

This was something that was respected in the old Wolfstar. They respected this Sirius Black, and they also respected that he had very problematic, violent attitudes and was a questionable person. They also tried to stay a bit more true to the Remus of canon, who had this pathological need for acceptance and was a bit cowardly, etc. There was an intention to keep the characters in character, and while Wolfstar has never made sense to me as a pairing because 1) if Sirius had an obsession with one of his friends or was emotionally attached to anyone, it was James, and 2) he always treated Remus like shit and didn’t even care that he might end up in prison for killing a fellow student, just as he was the first to distrust him during the war, and 3) Remus went on to live his life, married a young girl, got her pregnant, and almost abandoned her, showing us that he was the worst kind of hetero but also the best example of an insecure hetero guy, the truth is I didn’t mind that pairing because I always say that people can ship whatever they want and I always respect that.

But what they’ve done now with the characters... I mean, I don’t care who ships who; everyone can ship whoever they want with whoever they want. It’s a free world, and I’m really one of those people who thinks that as long as it doesn’t involve minors with old people, everything is fine. But, seriously, they’ve destroyed the characters, they’ve mutilated them. I don’t know who this person is that I sometimes read about in some posts, but it’s not Sirius Black, it’s not the Sirius Black from the books, and the Sirius Black from the books is a character with a lot of depth who could be very complex if treated properly. But instead of exploiting his essence, which is so inconsistent, full of cynicism, double standards, and pure hypocrisy, they’ve turned him into some kind of... I don’t know, a cheap character from a Netflix tabloid series that lasts five seasons with terrible plots just for the aesthetic. He seems like he’s come straight out of Elite, like, what a cringe.

Destroying Remus’s character also seems like a huge slap in the face to me. Hello? Is this really your queer icon? A man who, at 38, gets a 25-year-old girl pregnant and then runs off? Seriously, don’t you realize that you’re making the most heteroproblematic guy in the entire saga into a sort of symbol of the LGBTQ+ community? I just don’t get it. I mean, at least portray him for what he was, it doesn’t matter, it makes him more interesting.

I don’t know what the hell has happened to this fandom. I’ve never liked the Marauders, but their fandom was bearable years ago. People used to keep the personalities and traits of the characters. And the physical appearance too, because this new generation even invents that, turning Sirius into a gnome or something, I don’t know, lol. I really don’t know what the hell has happened in recent years, but that place is unbearable now—not only because it’s full of toxic people or because it glorifies abusive rich kids, or because most of them have a super classist background, but because they’ve destroyed characters that, while you might not like them, at least the reasons you didn’t like them were the same ones that allowed for interesting dynamics. Or to make interesting analyses. Or to read interesting metas. Now, it’s all reduced to seeing who fits more with a magical version of Sex Education, and it’s not only cringey but it also takes away all the charm of the characters.

[gerbelx2000-blog]

i honestly really dislike the palace rulers being treated so drastically different from akechi in the fandom. even though there's still people who refuse to say anything positive about akechi because he's a terrible guy, the majority of the fandom still treats him like a character and read into his backstory, behaviour, and motivations.

but when it comes to the palace rulers, there's not a single ounce of that attitude for them. it's so strange because not even the story itself has such a crazy bias; the same amount of sympathy towards akechi is given towards the palace rulers too. madarame and okumura are my most obvious examples, with yusuke often expressing his conflicting feelings on the matter, and haru learning about her father's motivations through takakura during her confidant.

in that sense, joker and akechi's relationship parallels that of haru/yusuke and the respective father figure; the two mutually love and care for each other, but unfortunately, one cares more for themselves and it causes their bond to break.

the cut backstories for the palace rulers add a lot to their character, and maybe that's why i like them so much. it makes them feel as rounded out as akechi was (in vanilla, i know he's much more humanized in royal's third semester. that might add to the bias, actually) and it makes me feel kind of bad for those sick, twisted bastards.

but obviously, that content was cut, and it's not very widespread knowledge, unlike akechi's backstory which he explains in-game, right in your face, unavoidably.

there's also this thing i've noticed that i call "fandom activism" where any deep analysis into a good-written character that is a genuinely bad person is seen as condoning their actions because WE ALWAYS HAVE TO SHUN THE EVIL GUY!!! WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT THEM IN CASUAL CONVERSATION!!! WE NEED TO HOLD A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE NOT REAL AND...... the way we treat them makes no difference in the world? huh.

personally, i was informed that the way i talk about kamoshida makes people uncomfortable. it's not like i said anything creepy about him, all i do is read into him the same way one would with akechi. he's a genuinely good villain, the same way akechi is! and his mindset is really interesting to look into!!!!! i think they're all missing out!!!!!!!!

my last line of defense is that the palace rulers are unfortunately made way less conventionally attractive than akechi is. that's something i don't like about them, and the fact that everyone lets that sway their opinions of them even less. i know atlus pulls the "make the unsympathetic character ugly" shtick a lot and it's suuuuuuuuuuck.

yeah. i'm kind of peeved about this and i thought you were the best person to send this to. kaneshiro isn't a cute twink but i'm still going to love him with the little attention he gets........... :')

FRICKEN NAILED IT THERE! NICE JOB!👍👍👍😭😭😭 AND I CAN RELATE TO YOUR PAIN AND STRUGGLES!

[kdinjenzen]

Now I'm curious WRT how 'Barbie' didn't hit for you.

I’ll say this first. If you liked the movie, I’m happy for you and I’m not here to tell you to hate the movie. I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue to enjoy it.

That said… this movie was NOT for me and I did not enjoy its story at all. I loved the set design, costume design, the performances, the music, the dedication to creating the world, all that stuff was great.

The plot itself. It felt circular without actually purposefully dealing with the issues it tried to talk about.

The fact that Doctor Barbie, who is trans, is the one who is told to “go seduce Ken by telling him you feel don’t feel pretty” - as if this isn’t something that leads to violence toward trans women in the real world and also why her to be the one who doesn’t feel pretty? Wtf?

The Kens of Barbieland are basically all losers, are grossly incompetent compared to Barbie, treated poorly, and our main Ken (aka Beach Ken) has severe self worth issues… so naturally all the Kens become the villains and are able to overthrow all of Barbieland later on in the movie by doing …. they never explain how. Somehow a world full of, and built by, the most capable women ever are overthrown by like 20 dudes who they treated poorly and who aren’t very smart. Beach Ken’s root problems are only barely resolved and none of it feels meaningful.

Gloria and Sasha, the human characters who work with Barbie to fix Barbieland, are just as much caricatures and tropes as Barbie herself. Sasha, the daughter, is a mean Gen Z who just openly lashes out at Barbie (a stranger), and everyone else who is actually nice to her, for no reason. Gloria is “a sad mom who pretends to be happy” but they never explain why at all, it’s assumed that it’s because “she lives in a patriarchy”, but the only person who’s directly mean to her in the film is… her daughter.

Gloria gives a speech to each Barbie, individually, to snap them out of the Ken’s brainwashing (which like AGAIN how did that happen? It makes no sense at all and just confuses me) - the speeches are not empowering at all, they’re just about how women in the real world suffer a double standard on how to exist and SOMEHOW with all those depressing revelations thrown at them it… restores their self-confidence/self-worth and undoes the brainwashing?

Weird Barbie, whom everyone says is ugly and gross and they have violent “EW!!!” reactions to her face, is played by Kate FUCKING McKinnon. Meanwhile Stereotypical Barbie, while having an ugly cry breakdown about (again) not being pretty anymore, is played by Margot FUCKING Robbie. A fact that the movie points out as “the wrong casting choice to have this scene and cast Margot Robbie as Barbie saying she’s ugly.”

I heard so much about how it was a “queer positive movie” but there’s nothing queer about nor really in the movie. So it got to cling to the rainbow and scream “allyship” and everyone praised it for essentially doing nothing.

Everyone is like… mean? Everything feels so mean and mean spirited. It’s supposed to be very tongue in cheek, very snappy and quick, and everyone has a comeback for every situation but… it just really feels like everyone is just being mean for the sake of being mean and it makes moments where you’re supposed to feel sympathy for any character just drop immediately when they say the rudest shit ever for literally no reason.

They talk about Midge, aka the pregnant woman in the Barbie line, and then say “no don’t look at her anymore, she’s weird and creepy” … which AGAIN feels like that statement undercuts the point of women empowerment that the movie wants you to take away from watching the film?

It tries to balance jokes and seriousness in a way that undercuts the message of “society is kind fucked up and broken” that they’re trying to talk about. The “good guys” are also constantly mistreating other people, the “Barbieland bad guys” became bad by going to the real world and leaning “patriarchy”, the “Real world bad guys” literally do nothing except take up movie time for random gags and really don’t service the plot at all, and as much as it’s like “TAKE THAT MAJOR CORPORATION” at every turn… the movie was fully approved by Warner Bros Discovery AND Mattel… so it’s never actually going to say anything worthwhile about corporate greed and corruption without putting on kiddie gloves to do so.

The only person who I felt true sympathy for, understood their reasoning, and felt they deserved a happy ending was ALLAN, aka Ken’s Best Friend, who is treated equally like shit by basically everyone in the film. Allan points out that Barbieland and the Real World both kinda suck, how life is only just slightly more miserable there after the Ken’s took over, and how he just “wants to run away” and when given the chance does so, only to defend Sasha and Gloria from a bunch of Ken’s single handedly and telling them to “get out while they can”… and then is subsequently brought back to Barbieland by Sasha and Gloria to fix everything and… AGAIN none of this pays off because Allan’s purpose is dropped immediately when they get back to Barbieland. And Allan is played by MICHEAL CERA. I feel like I’m losing my mind at this point.

It feels like the movie wants to talk about the issues women face in all walks of life, but is never able to punch hard enough to make that message matter nor stick. It talks around gender issues, self worth issues, and problems in society without actually saying something real about them. The meanness of all the dialogue makes me really not care about pretty much anyone in the movie because… man I’m just so fucking tired of everything and everyone having to be “mean” in movies to prove a point.

The movie ends with a gynecologist appointment.

I dunno what to tell you. The plot is “not for me” and I didn’t really connect with anything.

The movie just made me sad and disconnected because of how much everyone praised it, saying it “made me proud to be a woman” or “it’s inventive, immaculately crafted and surprising mainstream films in recent memory - a testament to what can be achieved within even the deepest bowels of capitalism.”

And it didn’t feel like that for me at all.

Maybe it’s because of all the “that’s womanhood” talk throughout the movie. Because I’ve had so many women in power give me that speech after I came out as trans only to be abused directly by them in the same way that they said men abused them all while I was still ALSO being abused by the same men who abused them too. So like YIPPEE this fucking SUCKS and it was kinda trauma triggering!!

Maybe it’s because I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for 17+ years and know how stuff like this gets made and how many corporate approvals you need for it to make the “take THAT major corporations and CEOs!” jokes land like a dead fish on the floor. The people they are directly calling out said “yes, this level of joke at the expense of our richness and power is okay” and that’s the ONLY reason any of those moments are in the movie. So it doesn’t even really fucking matter, it’s all manufactured, it’s all there to make you feel like it’s doing something when the people with all the power just allowed it to happen. It’s not a “win” or a “heavy blow to their ego”, they literally don’t care.

So I DUNNO, this movie kinda just made me feel depressed and made me remember how badly I had been treated by people after coming out regardless of that person’s gender. The movie felt mean in a way that was too “on the nose” and real for me but then praised most of the characters for their mean actions or words.

[nyx-bait]

Can I have rbg trio headcanons u requested asks about? Pretty pleaseee?

YES OF COURSE.

I don't know what people wanna know in general but I can give my general ideas of my timeline, just if anyone wants to drill down into specifics c:

-Charlie was the first to be taken at 4 years old. Being that young, it didn't take long to completely rewrite his memory, and I assume he ended up on a sitcom style show with a "family" in the cabin.

-There's a weird divide to a lot of his memories, like he seems to recall the show itself and being a star on it, but everything that happened on the show still feels real.

-Sneeg got captured three years later, when Charlie was 7 and he was 9. I tend to think of them as siblings, but it's hard to say if that's a bit of reality that's still stuck with them through rewrites or just bonding through trauma.

-Sneeg, like in canon, was way more stubborn than Charlie and would often try to drag him into escaping, but Charlie liked the attention from Showfall and thought Sneeg was just acting out because he wasn't as popular.

-they definitely had some ugly fights about that...

-When Charlie grew out of his cute kid role, he started a new show that was more a "teen adventure" sort of show, probably an early prototype for the Social Experiments with a more upbeat vibe and no sign of any actual threat as the episodes progressed. Sneeg was there as his sidekick.

-During one of the episodes, Sneeg was injured by a monster, and for just a second, the screaming was real and raw enough that Charlie finally saw behind the filter.

-(sneeg probably saw behind the filter the entire time and his panic led to his "low ratings")

-when Charlie saw the actual danger they were in, he snapped, incapacitating the monster... and probably attacking Sneeg's body in an attempt to make the screaming stop. He attacked a few employees as well before getting restrained, and the outburst was taken as him not being hero material, so he was rewritten in a villain role.

-sneeg was the second Hero, but when he saw what became of Charlie, he refused to take part in the experiment and was imprisoned. He ended up playing a sidekick character for the next few runs.

-during that time, sneeg would still try to get messages out to the audience to let them know they were in danger, so Showfall eventually took away his ability to read. That's okay though, his good buddy the slime demon would read to him!

-(Sneeg put up with this because at least he got to see Charlie happy)

-Sneeg did eventually manage to bust them out, but after so long in Showfall, the real world was... overwhelming. They ended up running into Ranboo, who gave them a place to hide.

-They were out for a few months and the two quickly learned to love Ran for showing them kindness and actually... treating them like actual people instead of just programming them to have whatever sort of relationship they wanted with him.

-unfortunately, they got caught and Ranboo was taken in with them to punish Sneeg and Charlie for leaving Showfall behind.

-both of them were broken down by this event and didn't fight back nearly as much. All they could do was find ranboo between rewrites and try to comfort him.

That's all I really have for pre-TSE, so. If anyone wants to hear about this, or about an escape au? Idk man I just. Holds the three of them protectively.

[jorisjurgen]

The Crepin-Lore Manifesto.

Part 3: Painful History

[PART 1]

[PART 2]

So, was Kerubim Crepin a good brother?

A bad brother?

For Atcham, it doesn't seem like his vendetta is due to being mistreated by Kerubim. It's not even subtext.

He's perfectly aware he's just using Kerubim to have someone to blame.

But it doesn't necessarily mean that Kerubim wasn't a bad brother.

As we've seen in The Wheel Of Fate... At the time of their childhood, he hated Atcham, viciously.

Or, he was scared of being othered, like him.

My personal pet theory, is that Atcham couldn't take life at the orphan temple anymore, being bullied for his differences.

Kerubim watched, and did nothing about any of this. They were just children, after all.

If Kerubim suffered so much from spending a single day in his brother's shoes, is it really that hard to imagine what Atcham's life was like?

Atcham lost his family too, just like Kerubim.

Nobody ever helped him. And in the end, he was probably treated as if it was his own fault, that he was mistreated.

This sort of thing would fit in, with his characterization.

He's not a bad person, just embittered by his life.

Even as an adult, he's at best treated like an ugly, neurotic freak. Despite his status as a terrifying assassin, he is not respected, just feared.

And being so old, he rightfully has no reason to believe that the world is better than that. Atcham doesn't have anyone in his corner.

And with how Kerubim, and life itself, seem to treat him, I don't blame him.

But what does Kerubim actually think about Atcham?

Because... things aren't so cut-and-dry.

Say - which character related to Kerubim looks unlike most people - enough to, perhaps, be bullied for it - and has lost their parents?

...Yeah. You know what I'm insinuating.

Loving two Black Sheep, and Parallels

...One of the things I never addressed in the last post, is the fact that besides guilt borne of thinking he took Julith's life...

Kerubim carries guilt for Atcham, too. Despite the way he often talks about him, he feels protective of his little brother.

Even the fact that he made sure that Joris wouldn't have issues with his body like how Atcham had, saying that he himself is just some guy, while Joris is special, says a lot.

Seeing an orphan, who was sure to take the brunt of that hatred upon himself if anyone knew his mother was Julith, and who looked so different from others...

How could he not think they were similar? How could he ever not want to protect him?

When Kerubim is being vulnerable, all the insults he has for Atcham dissipate.

I like to think that both Indie and Atcham were brothers that had ruined his life, yet made it worth living.

But in the end, all that's left is, well, the knowledge that he can't fix this, and the desire to, at the very least, have Joris by his side.

...The only reason Atcham ever listened to Joris was their similarity, as well as Joris's age and convictions.

But the only reason he gave family and hope a second chance - is someone finally stepping in to protect him.

And, of all the things Kerubim ever said about Atcham, only this scene really matters.

Aaaand, this draws my insane, three-part compilation of esoterically connected infodumping about the most insane family of Krosmoz to a close. Can you tell I wrote 2 giant character study fics about them yet? Can you feel that I have like 30 wip ideas in my head still?

This is just my thoughts about Atcham and Kerubim, so you know that thoughts about Joris buzz in my brain like bees - especially considering ecaflip demigods keep their memories, and what it means for this trio's relationship. Maybe one day I'll write a post about that too, but that day is NOT today.

These three love each other so much, and I hope I could make you understand what I see in them, just a little bit, after reading this.

[the-words-we-sung]

While I (not so) patiently await season 3...

I think being on Tumblr is gonna be tough this week: I've blacklisted sp*ilers because I wanna watch the new season with my mind as free as possible (like I did for the first 2 seasons) but it means that right now my dash is 99% empty, just an endless list of blocked posts 😅 So 1. it's boring and 2. the temptation to check these hidden posts is growing bigger and bigger by the minute >< I'm not entirely sure I can make it spoiler-free 'til next Monday... But anyway, I was just thinking tonight how lucky we are to live at a time when shows like Young Royals are being made, and well-made, and successful, and so so loved by so many people.

Earlier tonight I got struck by a faint memory of a scene from an old TV show I watched when I was (way) younger and so I went on a deep search to find it. It was an old French TV show that I watched with my parents growing up and it made me laugh to check some bits of some episodes: but I ended up watching a scene where a (secondary) character comes out to his best friend (a main character on the show) and it was awful. The best friend reaction was terrible and homophobic, but treated as if it was totally normal and acceptable. And it made me so so sad, because I grew up with that, I grew up watching that. And it's probably not the only scene, the only show, the only movie with that kind of message that I've watched when I was young. I grew up in an environment, a family, that was quite close-minded. The mere concept of not being straight, not being cis, was not at all something that I was aware of at the time. We didn't talk about that with my parents or at school. And the little representations I got on TV (like this one) were pretty awful. It makes sense that it took me so long to really realize that I was neither straight nor cis, to be able to actually put words on what I had been feeling my whole life (and I'm not even done questioning it all). But yeah, growing up then meant not being exposed to the amazing representation that we have now. And I am so so so happy that young people now can have that!! That we can all have that! I am sometimes incredibly frustrated by the idea that my life would have been so so different if a show like Young Royals existed when I was growing up, when I was a teenager... Where would I be now? Who would I be now? Most of the time I'm just happy and grateful that I still managed to get where I am today, but yeah, the frustration over what feels like wasted years can rear its ugly head sometimes...

Glee was my first "Young Royals", my first fandom, my first show with a good and real and strong LGBTQ+ representation. It's the show that will always have a special place in my heart because it made me see, made me realize things about myself. It's the show that pushed me head first into queer culture and told me to "look look here! Look at these people, look at this history!". The show that took me by the hand and told me I could be strong and brave and myself. And that I was not alone. Blaine and Kurt will always be the fictional characters who helped me the most, who made me start the process of becoming myself, who started healing me.

At the time I didn't participate in the fandom life as I do now with Young Royals, because I was quite introverted and not comfortable talking to people, and still trying to figure things out about myself. But Young Royals changed that. This show arrived at the perfect time, when I felt ready for more, ready to take a step further in my healing process. Anyway, such a long rant just to say that Young Royals is incredible. It didn't change my life quite as radically as Glee did, but it is making it incredibly better! Part of it is of course due to the show itself, and Wilhelm, and Simon, and the cast (Omar!!!!). But it is also this fandom, and the people I've met and chatted with. You all have no idea how incredible you've been, how happy you've made me. How healing you've been for me. I'm realizing that I've written a whole novel in this post >< Which was not really my intention! I was mostly just thinking about how awesome our little show is, how lucky we are that we're gonna have 3 incredible seasons to watch and rewatch. And how happy I am to be part of our little fandom family 💜

So I hope you're all enjoying the season 3 content that we've been getting today (even though I don't know what it is 😱) and I'm excited to be there with you all next week to be happy and sad and unhinged as usual about our dear dear show 💜💜

[taylor-on-your-dash]

GIRLZ HOLLAND - PUBLISHED ON JANUARY 7, 2011

I'm slowly (very slowly) transcribing Taylor's interviews for my Interviews Timeline, and I came across some interviews in foreign languages on TaylorPictures.net, like this one. This is an experiment, I randomly picked one and I "translated" them with Google Translate (I can translate Italian and German but I can't speak any more languages).

An interesting thing about this interview is Taylor saying that all of her relationship from the previous year had failed. It's crazy to think that All Too Well was in the making. Translation below the cut, and Happy belated Easter!

-The boys lie in rows at your feet. Has it always been that way?

LOVETALK MEETS TAYLOR SWIFT

Taylor Swift (21) is a tough chick who is not afraid to approach nice guys. After relationships with Taylor Lautner and Joe Jonas, she is now often spotted with Jake Gyllenhaal, but Taylor is saying nothing about it for the time being. She does talk a lot about one of her favorite topics: loooove!

-'Not actually, no. I really didn't have much success in love in the past. It was so bad that out of insecurity I paired the boys I liked with my girlfriends. I managed to arrange dates for everyone except myself. The advantage of this was that I became friends with all the boys at school, but on the other hand, that was of course not really fun. Sometimes I fell in love with a boy who mainly saw me as a BFF and then fell in love with someone else. Then I could cry..."

-You must have been very popular at school with all that matching work!

-'No. it was not! The girls at my school were a bit bitchy and they were very jealous because I was so good with the boys. They also bullied me because of my... glasses with thick lenses. I have pretty bad eyesight and was regularly called 'Jampot'. Actually, I didn't really fit in anywhere, because I was very different from all my classmates. I was pretty quiet in class and kept busy writing lyrics. I didn't really care what they thought of me. Somehow I was just sure that I would eventually go further than everyone else.

-Which type of guys do you actually like?

-'I don't have one specific type, but I mainly like guys who have a passion. I find someone who loves his job or is completely absorbed in a certain hobby very attractive. I used to think it was especially cool if a boy had a nice car, wore cool clothes and all that. looked good. Now none of that matters to me anymore. I am especially looking for a boy with a strong character, whom I can trust completely."

-But your famous ex-boyfriends aren't exactly ugly, right?

-'Um… that's true. But I find someone Not really ugly anyway. And of course it's no problem if my future boyfriend is the biggest hunk in town. I just want to point out that the appearance is not the first thing I fall for. On the other hand, Chace Crawford is a guy I won't say no to! In short, like everyone else, appearance is partly decisive for me, but in a bad way I lose character very quickly. And besides, in the end, handsome boys just become old grandpas with dentures."

-Are famous boys an advantage or a turn-off for you?

-That in itself doesn't really matter to me. It usually clicks more quickly with someone who is also in the world. For other boys, my fame is often clearly something puts them off a bit. It makes me very uncomfortable when they find out who I am and then start praising me. Boys who are also in the spotlight will understand that faster. I'd rather be treated like an ordinary girl than a superstar.

-What kind of guys can't stand you?

-'I am very sensitive and I talk a lot. What I really hate are guys who have nothing to say and just say "yes" or "hmm" to everything. Those closed types who don't talk about anything are of no use to you. And what I also find a turn-off are guys who drink a lot and want to go out every weekend. I'm a bit of a homebody and I like it if the other person can be the same every now and then.'

-Do you dare to tell your friends if you don't like their new lover?

-'Absolutely! Isn't that why you're friends? When you are in love, you often look through rose-colored glasses. Then some properties are not noticeable. My friends are everything to me. If done right, they will last longer than any crush."

-As a former queen of couples, do you have any good tips for seducing someone?

-'Just because I'm a good matchmaker doesn't mean I'll make anything of it, right? Last year all my relationships failed. When it comes to love, I have no idea how to go about it. That is different in every situation, so I would actually advise: just go with your feeling. Last time I jumped straight into the deep end. That was great and very exciting, but in the end it also hurt me a lot. The time before I worked carefully and exploratively and it didn't yield anything for me. That also hurts quite a lot, I can tell you.'

-What do you think is the best cure for a broken heart?

-'You just have to do a lot of things that make you very happy. I am also very optimistic. A sad day. being is fine, but inside I know that the sun will shine again. For the rest I write everything down. That's why so many of my songs are about broken loves.'

-Do you regret some things that have happened to you in the area of ​​love?

-'No, I wouldn't have missed all my adventures for anything. These were all important life lessons that I will benefit from in the future. So I don't regret anything.

Which love lesson has been the most important so far?

-"I've learned that nothing is set in stone. That's a terrible conclusion for someone like me, who likes to plan and organize. But love can't be forced. You can want it to last forever, but before you know it, it can It has to come from both sides and both parties have to be fully committed to it.'

-In other words: love is...

-'Like a dice. Love cannot be predicted. Sometimes you roll a six in one go, sometimes only after ten rolls!'

[rxttenfish]

Trick or treat!!

you get: a wolf eel mask!

merfolk are not monogamous. their relationship hierarchy takes priority, but their relationship hierarchy doesn't map onto western ideas of the platonic vs. the romantic vs. the sexual. even in the relationship hierarchy, these different nesting groups are inherently intended for multiple merfolk at the same time, and they view themselves as very plural beings, sharing much of what they consider "themselves" and their "identity" among a group of other merfolk.

however, merfolk are also very loyal. these relationships mean a lot to them, and although there's a potential for them to shift over time and change, those in the closer rungs of their relationship hierarchy are very much intended to be there for life, and merfolk will treat them with the same full commitment that would be expected. to a merfolk, commitment to the people who you are close to, and knowing exactly who your people are and going back to them time and time again, with heightened devotion to them, is incredibly important. thus, ironically, merfolk symbology often includes a lot of monogamous animals in their symbols for relationships and connections to each other.

the wolf eel is a particular symbol i keep returning to. wolf eels are monogamous, having a single chosen partner who they will work together with to raise their eggs, mating for life and living together in the same cave. to a merfolk, even though they only have one partner, represent an ideal. they are devoted, caring, loving, loyal to the very end to each other, and operate together as a single unit, multiple becoming a single individual in different bodies. wolf eels are a little more appealing to merfolk, their short, thick heads closer to merfolk heads and their long bodies strong and powerful, but they aren't the most physically attractive animals. they're simple, in that way, but their way of life is so idealized to merfolk that their simplicity and even ugliness becomes an appealing factor in of itself.

to merfolk, wolf eels symbolize down-to-earth love. they don't strive to be the best of the best, don't strive for high aspirations, aren't the pie-in-the-sky total idea of perfection, but they are devoted to the very end. they represent someone who is humble but will fight until the bitter end for what they believe in and who they care for, someone who is caring and loving without any dressing up of what that love means. to a merfolk, they represent the kind of person who doesn't make grand gestures but will always help clean the house. they are often contrasted with albatrosses, who represent that idealized but untouchable idea of perfect relationships and perfect loves, and who cannot offer all that albatrosses promise, flying above the sea and crossing the world, but who will make the very best of all that they can offer, and it is often quite a lot.

merfolk are, also, majority animists. a lot of their stories involve animals or the representatives of animal-spirits, and the wolf eel is both a character on their own right, but also a trope which is often invoked in merfolk theatre, plays, and literature. in these plays, the actors usually all wear different masks representing animals and representing the trope they are invoking, making it easy to identify each one from a distance and with poor eyesight.

when they appear, wolf eel characters usually represent ideal matches — people who are often unseemly or improper, oftentimes disregarding social conventions or frowned upon by the social circles at play, but people who fundamentally are kind and decent and charming, if you're willing to look past the surface. this can be used as a source of tension in a setup for a forming relationship, or it can be used for tragedy, as they are spurned or hurt by the actions of others who cannot see them for what they are. other variations exist, with them also representing happy relationships or people who are contented in their relationship, or in this trope being subverted, but they all play off this central mythology of the wolf eel as devoted to the very end.

for the common descent episode, you get plant defenses, and for the fossil, you get Moropus:

[jessicas-pi]

warning, little rant ahead.

Genuinely anxious about the Ahsoka show. Not that something in the show itself is making me anxious, but I can't help feeling like no matter what they do with Sabine and Ezra's relationship, the ship/no ship part of fandom will get nasty and mean.

The whole reason I didn't join the fandom and start posting fics like five years ago was that my introduction to the Rebels fandom was coming across a ten-paragraph rant post about sabine and ezra being The Worst Ship Ever And If You Ship Them You're Nasty And Toxic And Should Die, and it scared me away. And I know DEFINITELY not all fans are like that, I've seen more than a few who REALLY don't ship it and maybe even hate the ship but are never mean about it to people who do ship them (and if you are one of those people I love you for your kindness and respect and i sincerely hope you get all the platonic reunion hugs in the Ahsoka show that you could ever want.) But it's the mean people I worry about, especially if Sabine and Ezra do become romantic in the Ahsoka show, because I feel like then they will be all about proving why the ship is Bad and finding every little "toxic" interaction they've ever had and saltiness and making shippers feel sad by filling the ship tag with mean stuff.

I wish we could all get along. These characters are literally not real and people get SO worked up over whether they should be Like Brother And Sister or Friends To Lovers and, like... chill? can we chill? can we not bully each other? can we respect opinions that are not our own? because frankly there are WAY worse ships to be shipping.

I just don't want hate. I am a small fragile creacher. treat me like a porcelain heirloom that's too ugly to display but by gosh you had BETTER not break it because great-grandma henrietta would roll in her grave.