#their life and relationship just have too much pain and misery

[theongp]

Always have soft spot for couple aligned with grief and guilt

After JWDS I've found new hyperfixation that is Kim Mu Chan x Kwon Seok Joo from the (another) crime drama The Killing Vote.

About their grief and guilt, JW lives with guilt for the crime he didn't commit just because he's the police and the only son of that man. MC lives with guilt of be unable to catch the killer's accomplice, unable to save SJ's daughter. DS grieving for his twin sister and he even been accused for killing her, just like SJ, grieving for his daughter and accused for the crime he didn't commit. DS chose to become a cop to catch the murderer while SJ turned into the executor himself but anger and guilt consumed him because the accomplice (or the real killer?) is still out there.

For something brighter, there's some of their scenes that I like

Compare to jwds, sjmc (can I call them that?) is the same but different. Everyone around jwds been aware of their "special" relationship even before them realised it, meanwhile with sjmc their relationship is so mysterious that makes everyone suspicious lol.

"Kim Seok Joo's No.1 Fan"

Seok Joo and his belief 😢

*me every freaking time

I swear 9/10 fanfics of them will have that 'hyung' thing just like 'juwon-ah' in jwds's fanfics and I already saw 2.

The drama only has 12 episodes but only 1 ep per week makes it seems super long and there were even no new ep the previous week. The film is already so underrated as it is *sign*

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

[byanyan]

being friends with byan is so weird bc they say they want you to have the balls to be bluntly honest with them, but then the very moment you're honest about something they don't like, they're peacing out, all "lmao ok friendship ended byeeeee"

[fictionalmenmistress]

I haven't seen anyone else talk about it, so I wanted to share that Logan's rant monologue insulting Wade in the Honda Odyssey, before Wade decides to beat him up and they ~fight~ all night... that so clearly to me, was Logan projecting. It started as a tempered rant to cope with how annoyed and pent up he was, with the heat of everything and with Wade's muchness that makes him, him, but the longer he went on, the more he started ranting and exposing himself in the process.

"THE XMEN REJECTED YOU, AND THEY'LL TAKE FUCKING ANYONE!!!" That was my first hit, that he was referring to himself. He sees himself so lowly, so failed, that's canonical to the film. And canonically, he didn't even quite originally feel worthy or want to be with the XMEN. Didn't feel like there was a place for him there, a place for him anywhere. One of his biggest healings was Professor X not giving up on helping him believe that he deserved to be there, was wanted, was worthy, was a good guy. That's canon to his character. So we know he was speaking about himself. He was chewing Wade out, but he was also talking and focusing moreso on what upset him about himself. (He sees himself as just any jo shmo, when he IS literally THE X MAN ㅠㅠ)

He was seeing himself in Wade, how he "can't even save a relationship with a gd stripper", (he sees himself as not able to save anything either, and he's angry for that more than anything else he's angry or annoyed at) projecting SO HARD as he pieced together saying it out loud, that Wade was exactly like him. Logan hated himself for not saving anything. For being a "loser", a "failure", for all of the same reasons he was lashing out at Wade for. He was so angry and annoyed by Wade reminding him of himself, because he related to him. Wade was his reflection, in his eyes, calling him out so loudly with his own behaviors. And he hated himself. He deeply was suffering with that hatred for himself, and as a result, he lashed out on Wade when really he was chewing out himself, inside, admitting it.

"God's CRUELEST JOKE, IS THAT YOU *WONT* DIE ALONE. BECAUSE YOU! CANT! DIE! SO THE REST OF US HAVE TO SUFFER YOU THE REST OF OUR EXISTENCE!" (something along that.)

He didn't know for sure that Wade can't die. He picked up on that Wade can't be killed. Logan is the one who can't die. They are two flipped sides of the same immortal power coin. When he finished his screaming at him, and everyone was silent at how cruel and shocking the confrontation and his words were, I was sinking with a very empathetically whispered "oh, Logan..." Because I felt his misery. I immediately picked up on him really talking about himself, and I think that was genius and layered. I was upset for how awful that was to say to Wade, heartbroken for Wade taking that to heart, and I was heartbroken that Logan was saying that because he believes that about himself. Because they are, oddly, a lot alike. Very compatible.

This scene here:

I read that Hugh said that Ryan wrote that. He's brilliant with these films. It was so genius. I really needed to share this and bring this thought, meta, analysis to light. For all of us to have.

Is Logan mad at God's "cruel joke" of his immortality, yet ability to feel so much pain through it still? Yes. He punched the roof in rage, because it's not fair. Venting his own pain. He sees his powers, his own and Wade's too, empathetically, as their curse. The curse of being the one who lives, and the guilt with that. The one who can't die. The one who lives, who is forced to live, while everyone who "deserves to live" dies. And WILL die, around them.

"And You can't die. That's on all of US!" Logan says, clearly referring to himself living forever... And "us" being the people HE loved. He saw himself as a burden for existing with them, for them. He deflected that onto Wade, as if the people in Wade's life must feel that way too, but didn't really mean that. He meant it about himself. Logan believes he was a burden on the people he loves, the people he lost. That's probably why he left too, and didn't come back when they called out for him to. He distanced himself to protect them, and protect himself from that fear of rejection that he feels is so imminent, and them not having him, is the one element that led to none of them surviving without him. He was always the key. He was always wanted, and he was always important and needed. He just couldn't ever believe that.

Man, that's why it became so personal for Logan too, when he was shown Wade's photograph of his family. Because HE had a family, and he would do anything now to save them. Just like Wade. He held that photograph all night, he went and got it when it fell out of the car, he kept looking at it. It became personal for him, when he identified with it. That Honda scene really was their turning point of everything. That's when Logan cared with everything. He got it. Wade is the him he couldn't be. But now he can.

I dropped some heat with this one.

Extra little personal context/thought notes: Maybe I just spotted it because I have a natural knack for psychology, I'm hyperobservant, highly empathetic and deeply feeling, and I'm also years experienced of my parents and whole family treating me the same exact toxic lashout way almost every other day. That's a workweek for me to see through toxic lashout anger BS. These are not my gifs!!! They were created by another amazing account. I will refind their @ and tag them!! >>> It's @landoslastnerve ! Thank you friend! 🤍

Also wanted to include someone's tags from those gifs:

.

[lex-the-flex]

Nightly Misery

Logan Howlett x reader

Summary: In the wake of another major nightmare, Logan is always grateful to have you by his side.

Word Count: 578

Warning(s): SLIGHT ANGST, MEGA FLUFF, mentions of PTSD, established relationship, brief descriptions of injuries, the reader being a sweetheart, and Logan being protective.

A/N: Welp, my hyper fixation for Hugh Jackman has come back. …As did my love for Wolverine. Feedback is appreciated and enjoy!

Rustling in the softness of your shared bed, Logan’s warmth poured over every square inch over the quaint space. Shifting endlessly underneath the thin bedding, a thick layer of sweat covers his skin and the sheets that surround him. The faint sound of crickets beyond the windows do their best to provide some sense of comfort, but it seems that nothing’s working. Not even the faint beams of moonlight could calm the man’s restlessness.

“Logan, Logan…” You speak quietly.

Gently rubbing Logan’s shoulders, he continues to heavily toss and turn in his sleep. Beads of sweat trickle down his temples just as his mumbling grows louder.

“No… NO!” He shouts.

Suddenly, Logan’s body jolts awake, and he sits up. Yelling from his dream, he gasps for air before ultimately gaining his bearings.

He’s here, in the large comfortable master bedroom that he calls home. Logan’s chest rises and falls and his breathing returns to normal as his hazel eyes scan the dark room. Finding that everything is in its proper place, his light orbs find yours opposite him.

“Baby?” He whispers in the dark.

Silently reaching for you, the sight of his bone claws cause a gasp to leave his chapped lips. Retracting the claws, his brief moment of pain subsides, and a minuscule ring of tears begin to form in his eyes.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay, you just had a bad dream, Logan.” You say before traveling to the bathroom.

Retuning moments later, you join Logan’s side, and wipe the sweat from his face with a damp washcloth. Exhaling at the cool cloth, Logan wraps his arms around your waist.

“That’s nice.” He chuckles.

“I thought it might help. You’ve been doing this too much.” You reply with a smile.

“Can’t help it, bub. The wars, I- I can’t. They still…” Logan tries to explain, but fails silent.

“Hey, it’s alright. Don’t let them control you. You’ve done so well lately, don’t let this be the end of all the progress you’ve made.” You say, running your fingers through Logan’s thick dark hair.

Calming stroking his scruff, Logan’s eyelids grow heavy from your soothing touch. However, your therapeutic abilities only work for a short while before his eyes make contact with a series of three small scars on the base of your forearm.

“Jesus Christ. Y/N, I…” Logan begins, but you cut him off.

“I’m fine, babe. It’s just a scratch. I promise, you didn’t mean it.” You explain, stroking his cheeks.

Pulling you into him, Logan lays down with you in his arms. Letting go of a sigh of relief, you can feel Logan’s muscles start to relax beneath your fingertips. Turning to face you, Logan cradles you in his muscular arms, pulling you closer to his broad chest. Placing a soft kiss to your forehead, Logan's fingers lightly grip the hem of your sleep shirt, fearful of hurting you over again.

Facing you, his eyes grow weary whilst he touches the tip of your nose with his own. Tangling your hair in his fingers, he inhales deeply, longing for the taste of your scent on his tongue.

"I know I don't say this often, but I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Y/N. Not just here, in Canada, in our own private life. But you make me realize the true importance that life isn't always so bad." He vows through whispers with a rare, yet happy smile taking over his lips.

tagging ~

@dreamliners

@miss1sarcasmo

@yellow-eyed-sams-wife

@lost-in-horrorland

@peterparkernotfound

@pcrushinnerd

[0mg-bird]

Look Of Love~ S. Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary: All the moments you had to tell him exactly how you feel, and yet it comes down to this one, where the words ‘I love you’ might save his life.

Warnings: Violence, angst, Reid being a kicked puppy, blood, tw! Tobias Hankel!

Season 2 Reid x Fem! Agent! Reader

Everything was going fine, wasn’t it? Well, about as fine as you can consider a case about a serial killer who believes he’s doing the work of God, to go.

But he was fine.

And that was what made things fine.

Well, until the whole thing crumbled and there was a sharp pain in your lungs that isn’t about to cease. JJ and Spencer left to find the location of Tobias Hankel’s home, that was about an hour ago. You had watched as he holstered his gun, preparing to get into the car and leave you.

“You’re still not coming with me.” He says towards your silent pining.

“Spence.” You argue, though he just turns to look at you amused.

“We’re just going to talk to this guy, he’s just a witness. They need you here.” He reasons, reassuring you with a smile.

His words always seemed to calm you down, it’s like magic, the Reid effect. So you nodded and rolled your eyes as he tucked your hair behind your ears, a quirk he’s always done because he knows how much you hate your pointy ears.

There was no argument, you and Spencer were the closest ones out of the rest. It’s a kind of peaceful friendship, the two of you just played in harmony so well. He knew all of your secrets, you knew almost all of his, and you weren’t shy to tug on his arm or secretly join your hand in his under the table during meetings. Spencer was more than okay with it, learning that’s just how you act with people you are comfortable with.

And while the two of you were convinced it wasn’t a relationship the team would bat an eye at, your friends often had secret discussions in regard to you.

“This whole ‘friendship’ scheme…do they really buy it?” Emily asked one morning as she watched you take a drink of coffee and cringe at the too sweet taste, then give it to Reid and take the one he had been drinking.

Reid isn’t a fan of germs.

But in his mind, yours aren’t so bad.

“Oh no, they’re still convinced they’re just close friends.” Morgan chuckled, answering the woman’s question.

“She loves him.” JJ added in a matter of fact tone. “It’s honestly a little sad…she doesn’t want to admit it out loud.”

“Why?” Emily’s brows furrow.

“Afraid she’ll ruin the friendship.” Morgan simply says.

At that, the female agent scoffs. “Reid’s obviously in love with her, no friend looks at another friend that way.”

They watch intently at the eye contact being shared, and how expressions change when Reid walks away from you.

“They look like kicked puppies.” JJ frowns. “Morgan, go talk to him, I can’t stand this anymore.”

The man looks at her in confusion. “And say what? I can’t just tell a man how he feels.”

Emily argues. “Reid doesn’t know what he feels, he’s confused, put him out of his misery.”

As Morgan goes to open his mouth, Hotch appears with his signature scowl and the conversation was dropped and done with.

Though it was never forgotten.

The entire team saw the lovesickness between the two of you…and yet, you couldn’t fix it.

There were plenty of times you could have confessed, many perfect moments that were ruined by your fear of the feeling not being mutual.

And after a while, the words seemed to try and escape on their own accord. Like in the moment he goes to leave and you call to him one last time.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit?” He said, scanning your face intently like he always seemed to do.

“Yeah, see you soon, I lo-”

Your heart beats loudly in your ears and you seal your lips, feeling betrayed by your own words. He looks at you, puzzled, then leaves.

You should have told him.

You should have just told him.

Because now, gun drawn, searching Hankel’s house, Spencer is no where to be found.

JJ was in the barn out back, looking rather disheveled and scared when she was found, but she was safe and unharmed and Spencer was gone.

“We thought he was just a witness, I swear. Then Reid figured out he was the UnSub and...” JJ said to you over and over, feeling guilt in her bones, blaming herself for his abduction. She swore that she should’ve stayed with him, not split up like he said to. She means well…you just can’t think straight.

The team stayed inside the house overnight, working off of minimal hours of sleep, and daybreak came and you were sitting on the couch with your head in your hands, thinking of some plan on how you were going to find him.

“Hey.” Penelope greeted as you walk into the room with a multitude of computers she was searching for any clues.

“Hey.” You sigh, leaning on the desk beside her. “Anything yet?”

She shakes her head. “No, sweet pea.”

You watch the videos of war and destruction on the screens, the right kind of fuel for a split personality maniac like Hankle.

“If Tobias is living as three people, and his father is the one that’s the evil side of his brain, then I think that’s who has taken Reid. We’ve been thinking like Tobias, we need to be thinking like his dad, right?” You question, turning to Morgan as he walks into the room.

He nods. “It’s a good idea, yeah.”

Suddenly, the computer screens in front of the three of you go black.

“What happened?” Morgan asks.

“I don’t know…” Penelope answers…

She tries to get the screens back up, but to all of your surprise, the live stream that comes on is something more horrific than what you were previously watching.

“Spencer.” The name leaves you as well as all the air in your lungs.

There he was, your pretty boy, sat in a chair, bloody and bruised and out of it.

Morgan yells for the others, but you’re frozen in place.

“Track him, Pen.” You say in a panic.

“I can’t, Hankle is only streaming this to his home computer.” She says in disbelief.

“What do you mean?” You worry. “This is some kind of joke? This is just for us to see?”

She nods slowly.

The team watches closely, listening to the way Hankle forces Reid to choose an innocent couple to get murdered.

You seriously think you’re going to be sick.

He struggles on the screen, choosing someone to be spared torture instead.

And as fast as he was in front of you, he’s gone from the live feed even faster. You stare at the blank screen with red eyes, then leave the room completely.

A full day wasted, you weren’t close enough to find him. You go back to couch and prepare for another sleepless night.

~~

At some point, you must’ve fallen asleep, because you wake with a start at the feeling of something being different.

You make your way to the computer room where everyone is hunched over, looking at a map Penelope brings up.

“Good, you got some sleep.” Hotch says, barely sparing you a glance as you enter.

“What’s going on?” You ask, leaning into Morgan’s side.

“We think we found him.” He says to you, watching your eyes widen.

“What?” Your voice cracks and any lingering feeling of sleep is gone.

“We’re heading out in five.”

You didn’t need to be told twice.

Tying your hair up and rubbing your face, you pull a kevlar vest on and cinch the velcro shut. The entire car ride to the little shack, you’re twitching.

Everyone shares a look, because the way you act now is the whole reason they didn’t wake you when the live feed was back up. If you were to watch the way Reid was being beaten, Gideon isn’t sure you could handle it.

The team storms the shack, and you try hard not to lose hope when you come up empty handed yet again.

You curse to yourself. “They were here.”

“They couldn’t have gotten far, they’re on foot.” Hotch nods, immediately turning back out to search the cemetery you were in.

On high alert, you search through the dark, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“We’re gonna find him.” Morgan promises, but you can’t focus on anything besides locating Reid.

Closer and closer, you can almost feel it in your bones, the way your instincts guid you in a direction.

The only thing that halts your step is the sound of a single gun shot.

No.

No, it wasn’t going to end like this. It couldn’t.

Quickly, you head to that noise with your partners following after you.

“Spencer!” You shout, voice raw. “Spence?”

He looks up from Tobias’ body, and it’s like the entire world stops spinning. He’s there, he’s alive, he’s breathing ragged breaths and it’s all okay.

Hotch is there to help him to his feet, guiding him to stumble forward until he gains his footing. His head is dizzy and his hearing might be a little echoey but in a single moment, you’re there.

He grips onto you like you’re his lifeline, and you wrap your arms around him, stumbling to support his weight. A hand in his dirty hair, he feels your touch and knows you have to be real. That it’s your real form here that’s fighting to hold back tears and not the visions he’d see when he was out of it.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” You promise, knowing he might not realize he’s shaking and mumbling.

Pulling back just a few inches, he’s leaning his forehead to yours and breathing too quickly.

“Hey, hey.” You say softly, gently cupping his face. “Look at me, Spencer, look at me, sweetheart.”

He sees the deep look in your worried eyes and tries to form a sentence, but for once, his big brain can’t figure out what to say.

You do though.

And for once, you aren’t scared to say it. Actually, you’re afraid of not saying it.

“Spence.” You breathe out, he breathes in like your air is what matters. Your hand gently smooths blood soaked hair back, trying to get him to calm down.

He says your name in reassurance to himself.

“Hey, I’m right here.” You say. “I’m right here, and I love you.”

His brain fog seems to clear, his confused brown eyes are searching your face like they always tend to do, and those three words are making a small smile pull on his cracked lips.

~~

The hospital trip is almost too brief, just enough for him to get checked out and cleaned up, then you’re back on the plane to head home.

Curled in the corner of the small couch, you are barely asleep like the others, listening to music, head leaned against the wall. That’s before gentle hands pull your headphones off your ears.

Your eyes open and turn to see Spencer, sitting down beside you.

“Hey.” You whisper.

He sets the headphones down. “Hi.”

“You feel okay?” You ask, noticing the way he pulls your knees away from your chest so you sit normally.

He nods. “I feel about as good as someone who just got beat up would.”

You smile at his humor.

He tucks the hair framing your face, behind your ears, as always. “I was in and out of consciousness when you found me, I think, so I need to make sure that you actually said it and I wasn’t just lucid dreaming.”

You reach up to grab his hands. “Said what?”

He takes a deep breath. “That…you love me?”

His eyes are hopeful and wide, that’s what makes you nod.

“You weren’t imagining it…I love you, Spence.”

A smile forms on his face. “That’s good then.” He says, sure of himself.

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

That when he flips your hold of his hands and joins one in his. “Because I love you too.”

There it was, the confession you’ve wanted for so long. There’s a moment of silence, then your free hand cups his jaw and he moves so close, your lips part just to breathe out slowly and then he’s there. Kissing you.

It’s soft, like you’ve been doing this for years.

He licks his lower lip after he pulls away, trying to savor the taste. Brushing your forehead to his for a second, you lean back and motion for him to follow. There’s no words that need to be spoken as he makes himself a bed in your lap, lying on his side that hurts the least and presses his face into your stomach.

Out like a light, the both of you.

Morgan nudges Emily a while later when they both wake, and he motions over to the lump on the couch. The woman grins.

“It took no interference at all.” She says.

Morgan smirks. “Nope, just a near death experience.”

Hotch scowls as usual. “We’re going to have to talk to HR about this.”

[gojoscinnamonroll]

જ⁀➴ ♡ give me tough love!!

sum: au sukuna where he is a yukaza member, gets into a heated argument with his fed up wife and decides maybe this is the day she walks away…. but will sukuna let this happen?

warnings: AGELESS BLOGS AND MDNI / f! reader, dub-con, oral (f!receiving) , p in v (unprotected), fingering, toxic relationship, slight angst, dominant sukuna, handcuffs being used , rough sex (whoopsie) , some choking, cussing… like a lot of cussing, and he’s kinda meannn >:(

wc: 2.0k

“i’m getting real tired of this ryo… you never care about my feelings and you sure as hell don’t care about me or us.” you spat out of anger at him in the big luxury kitchen of the estate passed down by his parents down to sukuna. “you’re always out doing some dumb shit and always coming home late, you don’t think i get tired of it???” your last straw was when he promised to meet up with you at a restaurant last night at 7pm for a nice dinner and took so long to show up that by the time he finally decided to come, you walked out of the restaurant fed up, to call uraume to pick you up.

you knew what you were getting into getting involved with sukuna. ever since the day you met him at that house party back in your junior year of college and despite your friends telling you “he’s not good for you”. you knew it was never a good idea to be getting involved with the hot-headed, nonchalant, football captain, ryomen sukuna. even with all the things said about him… beating poor boys up for their homework, skipping classes to smoke weed with his best friend & quarterback, toji fushiguro, and of course, being the only son of the most powerful yukaza members.

but having the heart of a healer and someone with really strong patience will always be the death of you.

you wanted to see the good in him, you really did. you knew that deep down he had it in him and silly little naive college girl you back then thought that you could fix him. and even though nobody saw it, you felt that he did show some kindness in his own weird way towards you.

“i’m just doing my job so that i can take care of you woman, how many times do i got to tell you, fuck. always tripping out about something, you always got something to say, do you? so damn ungrateful.” sukuna argued back at you. you were just so angry with him, that you just kept spitting out whatever kept coming to mind without a single thought.

“fuck you, i’m just looking out for you because i care about you since i’m obviously the only one who cares about the other but apparently i can’t even fucking do that huh. at least a text message saying ‘hey. i’m gonna be home late’ or ‘hey. i’m doing this’ would be nice. there’s a million other guys who could treat me so much better than you and actually make me feel loved. goodbye ryomen. have a nice life.” you ran up the stairs as tears start to prickle in your eyes to go the master bedroom and start packing up your stuff to get out of there.

despite how nonchalant sukuna was and how he acted like he had a gigantic wall up, you were the best thing to ever to happen to him, and seeing you act like that and be so hurt because of him triggered something he never felt before. guilt? misery? all he knew was the feeling was not a good feeling and he didn’t like it one bit, and the thought of losing you to someone else let alone made him feel more sick inside. he sighed and mumbled, “this brat…” as he made his way to the bedroom.

as you were packing your stuff and wiping your tears away, you could feel his presence standing over you. “what do you want.. to belittle me some more and make me feel more shitty?” you sniffled. never ever in sukuna’s life had he ever felt so bad seeing another human in pain. he was too stubborn to admit it, but he knew he had to make it better somehow and fix things. he reached into the pocket of his yukaza slacks to pull out handcuffs and immediately began to cuff you into them behind your back.

“h-hey, what the- what are you- let me go, you psychopath” you shouted at him as you writhed around. “gonna fix that bratty mouth of yours that’s what i’m doing.” he picked you up princess style and threw you onto the king sized bed with wine red satin sheets.

“i’m not being a brat you idiot, i’m trying to-“ he cut you off by climbing on top of you and holding your chin to shut you up with his mouth. “here’s what’s gonna happen doll…” he said as he pulled away, “i’m going to punish you for that bratty little mouth of yours and if you do good, i might let you get to cum on this cock, yeah?” he cooed over you.

“i hate you.” you hissed at him, but as he ripped your mini skirt off of you and took one good look at your arousal leaking from the front of your maroon g-string, your pussy said something completely different. “-tch. that’s not what your little friend down here is saying now, is she?” taunting you as you look up at him. “let’s see how she feels about me introducing her to my fingers hm?” as he moved your panties to the side and slowly dipped two of his long fingers into your warm honey, you couldn’t help the low gasp that escaped from your glossed, red lips. he let out a low chuckle because he knew how weak for him you were and knew you couldn’t keep up this attitude much longer without folding for him. “sounds like she made a new friend” he continued to chuckle lightly. “f-fuck you” you whimpered.

“ah ah, not til i feel like you deserve it.” he started to go faster, scissoring his two fingers in and out of your weeping cunt until you started to sneakily fuck him back on his fingers to chase your release.

he pulled them out.

“the fuck???” you looked up at him with a mug on your face. “silly little girl… you aren’t supposed to ride the fingers of people you hate, are you stupid?” smirking, “you are not to cum until you apologize”

“what do i have to apologize for? i’m not the one in the wrong.”

“then i should just leave you here by yourself still handcuffed and let you figure out how to cum by yourself.” looking down at you with the straightest and coldest face.

you were still so angry with him but you couldn’t help the fact that sukuna knew exactly how to please you and do all the things you like, fighting the battle with the angel on your right shoulder and the demon on your left. you rolled your eyes at him and scoffed.

“that’s what i thought brat, now quit the attitude or i fuck it out of you like the slut that you are.” he kneeled down to get on his knees and shoved your legs apart to get a closer look of your syrupy slick. he swiped his long tongue slowly up your slit as he murmured against it, “so, what was it that you said about other men, hm? can those silly little imbeciles make you feel good like this? make your tight little pussy weep for them like this?” sukuna ripped your g-string off of you, (like, he actually ripped them) and started feasting on you and sucking on your clit like you were the last meal he was going to ever have in his life. you being stubborn, you were trying to hold back the orgasm building up in your core because, like you said, what do you have to apologize for and also you didn’t want to give in just like that. but that was until he started fucking you with his tongue and you felt your legs closing up on the sides of his face.

to be fair, if he was going to receive a death penalty for all the heinous crimes he’s committed working with the yukaza, this is the way he would want to go out.

pulling away, he looked up at you with your honey dripping down from his lips and chin and substituting his mouth for his fingers,

“don’t tell me you’re going to cum already aren’t you? you don’t listen do you? i’m not letting you cum yet princess, remember… not ‘til you say you’re sorry”

he released you from the handcuffs (but only for a minute) “be a good girl, lay down on the pillow f’me” thinking with your pussy and not your mind of course, you listened to him and did what he told you to do. “there you go” he cooed as he licked his lips, “such an obedient girl for me aren’t you?” he whispered in your ear as he handcuffed you again, but this time, to the headboard.

he pulled his veiny, thick cock out of his slacks and slowly slid it up and down your needy warmth before slowly bullying his length into you.

you were so wet that even though you were basically clinging onto him like a vice, he just kept slipping out of you, so he plunged all the way deep into your sweet spot, “need your tight little cunt to stop pushing me out woman” “what’s the matter? talking all that shit but can’t even stick to your words?” “pathetic ” “ fix that bratty mouth of yours yeah?” bullying you with each and every thrust he was giving you.

“ ‘m not done toying around with you yet pretty. gonna mess with you over and over again ‘til i make sure you’ve learned your lesson.” manhandling you to flip over onto your tummy to continue slamming his hips into you.

“k- ‘kuna, please” you mewled, “i wanna cum, please ‘m begging” you admit, you were loving every minute of this, you loved when sukuna got possessive over you, in your own weird way, it made you feel like he cares even when sometimes he doesn’t show it as much as you would like him to.

“what a little slut you are hm, wanna lose it on this but can’t even fix your behavior, pathetic.” he growled as he kept fucking you with no mercy.

and just like your heart, your pussy acted and thought before your mind. but at this point, what else did you have to lose?

“f- fuc- fuck it- ‘kay i’m , *hic* , i’m sorry ‘kunaaaa” moaning so loud that you were pretty sure the gardeners outside of the estate could probably scratch that, can definitely hear, “what was that pretty? you said what?” he lifted you up by your neck with his big & deliciously veiny right hand to hear you cry your apology. “mmph, fuuckkk i'm sorry!” now sobbing due to your powerful orgasm trying to claw it’s way out and from the state of bliss and how cockdrunk you were off his monstrous length you were in, drooling all over the satin sheets and seeing stars. “now that’s a good girl.. go on, cum all over this cock, it’s all yours after all” he mumbled into your neck as he left bite marks all over.

as your body started to tremble, you felt yourself let loose all over him, letting out the most hardest orgasm you ever let out in your life. and sukuna seeing you like this does something to him because he was about to spill out everything he had into you just seconds after.

"good girl, take this shit, t-take this sh- cmon" he slammed his hips into you one last time before letting all of his seed fill you up to the point it was leaking out of you. (and probably will for the next 3days)

he released you from the handcuffs to take a look at your beautiful , blissed out face.

“pitiful little girl. had to get you cock drunk to fix your behavior. how shameful” leaning in to kiss you.

“oh, shut up. you’re lucky i love you and besides uraume, me being the only one who can tolerate you” you rolled your eyes and kissed him back.

“uraume!" he called out.

"yes, my lord?"

"unpack all of my wife's belongings and place it back where it was before."

"yes lord."

he got up to grab your silk, wine red, robe and dress you in it, as he kissed you on your forehead:

"you’re mine and mine only. for eternity. don’t forget that.”

banners by @cafekitsune <3

[lottiies]

SHARED MY BODY AND MY MIND WITH YOU

→ Leon broke up with you because of his emotional baggage, not wanting to drag you down into his trauma-induced misery. He didn’t usually date out of his line of work anyway, he hated himself for involving himself with someone so innocent. But when he gets a voicemail at an awfully late hour and listens to it, he nearly broke driving laws to get to your place. He still loves you, that much is certain. Your body and mind are like a second nature to him

CW: MDNI, fem!reader, pwp, one sided breakup, angst, description of leon’s self guilt and sabotage, heavy mentions of marriage, centered around Leon rather than the reader, reconciliation, lovemaking–gentle sex, crying, very small religious snippet, he eats you out, unprotected p in v, implied aftercare + implication of a better future

WC: 5.3k

Note: i think…this is my favorite fic that i’ve ever written. breaking my pink blog theme with this and actually capitalizing letters um…i had to set the tone okay. i actually started working on this in january to cope with some things, but i didn’t make much progress until recently!! the title’s a lyric from the song ‘cruel world’

BOT VERSION HERE MASTERLIST

Leon has a rule: never get emotionally involved with anyone who isn’t in his line of work. The reason behind that is self-explanatory. It's too difficult to accomplish. All his baggage holds him down, and he’s always away for long periods at a time and then returns back with body aches all over and has to hibernate for a while. What does he truly have to offer?

He did it anyway.

You managed to romance him, granting him a fleeting glimpse of happiness and a chance at self-love. Lingering caresses, meaningful eye contact, soulful conversations, an audience to his jokes, the key to your heart — you gave him everything.

Breaking up with you was painful, the second it was all said and done and you were out of his sight, he broke down crying. That was what he deserved, that’s what his mind told him.

It was easy for Leon to disappear from your life, just as quick as the snap of his fingers. He was never around that much to begin with. Your efforts in reaching out to him were futile if he was halfway across the world dealing with another abrupt assignment, or if he fell back into the habit of nursing a drink in some run down bar without contacting a soul.

But no amount of alcohol could make him forget about you these days. The memories of you were too strong to be diluted.

“What about this one?” Curiosity had dripped from your question, your fingers gently feathered across the healed up scar on his left shoulder.

Leon was almost an open book when it came to you, he truly cherished honesty in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Guilt weighed on him for having to limit certain answers to only the surface details. It felt wrong; it felt like he was keeping secrets from you and keeping you in the dark. But it couldn’t be helped, not when you weren’t in the same line of work as him. Most of the contents of his work were confidential.

After all, at this point the two of you had only been dating for half a year. How could he burden your mind with the harsh realities of everything that wasn’t known by the general public?

The two of you were naked, tangled under the sheets. No sex or anything, simply getting familiar with each other’s bodies and exploring with gentle and cautious hands.

“1998, shot on duty.”

The memories were still fresh in his mind. People say that forgetting a traumatic event is common, people dissociate to cope and shield their brain. It was the opposite for Leon. All the screams plagued his mind like a damn mantra, no way in hell would he ever be able to forget anyone’s voice.

Either that, or his mind made up fantasies about what could’ve been between you both. Domestic bliss. Buying a house together. Shy talks about how many kids you guys wanted. The memories haunted him. He wanted it back.

He even bought a ring. A beautiful one that he was meant to display to you when he sunk onto one knee and popped the question that would hopefully bind the two of you for life. The one that he was supposed to fidget with whenever he held your hand as the two of you planned your wedding, whether it be simple, grand, or to elope.

He kept it safe even after he broke up with you, he couldn’t bear to throw it away because of the sliver of hope that maybe one day he’d still get the chance of putting it on your finger. He felt like a fool. Sometimes he opened the box up to reminisce. It tugged at his heartstrings when he saw how rough his own fingers were in comparison to the smooth metal, from his years of physical exhaustion and training. God, he wished your hands would never get all battered like his.

He thought about you so much that you were the star actress in his nightly dreams.

The worst ones were the nightmares, though. Like the one that had him turning in his sleep tonight.

It all replayed in his mind. Your facial expression when he broke up with you out of the blue — the way the smile on your face had faded into a frown, your glimmering eyes contorting into that of disheartened ones. The way you looked at him with such a concoction of emotions. The pitiful chuckle that escaped your lips along with a nervously spoken ‘what?’ Or maybe it was the prolonged silence afterwards that killed him. It felt like hours until he got a proper response from you, one that was drowned out by the drumming of his own heart and the pulse that formed in his ears.

Usually he got to the end of it, but tonight he was abruptly woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. A blessing in disguise, maybe. Regardless, he was a bit irritated, he had always been such a light sleeper.

“You’re kidding…” Leon let out a heavy sigh, trying to rub the sleep away from his eyes. He didn’t even want to answer, too tired to even think about the possibility of being called to the field. No way in hell did he want to be met with Hunnigan’s voice and some intel he didn’t feel like remembering.

He let the phone ring, and eventually, blissful silence filled the room again. If it was dire, he knew he’d get another call soon.

Instead, he heard his phone vibrate not long after. He muttered out a curse before reaching for his phone, seeing that a voicemail was left. He didn’t bother reading whose number it was. Christ, the message was 5:06 minutes long.

Whatever. He played it aloud, resting his forearm over his face as he listened in.

“Hey Leon, it’s me…”

Fuck.

He fully sat up on his bed, so quickly it could’ve given him whiplash.

“I miss you. Still think about you every day. I don’t know what I did wrong…you probably aren’t even listening to this. I just…I don’t know.” a sigh. “The clock hit 12 and um, well today’s the anniversary of the day you asked me out. Maybe you don’t remember. I think you do though, you were always good with dates.”

Leon knew the voice of a broken person when he heard it.

No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to let you go and then you’d see how much life had to offer, how any other person could give you a better and more stable relationship.

How could you be hung up on a man like him?

It was instinctual. He shuffled out of bed, body reacting before his mind and reaching for a clean pair of clothes from his closet. He left the voicemail playing in the background, it filled his lonely house. His heart was racing so loudly he couldn’t even hear the sounds of the wind outside or the creak of the floor with every step. All he did was change and brush his teeth before he drove over to you.

Thankfully, the roads were empty and the highway was free of traffic or else surely he would’ve been pulled over.

Thinking rationally wasn’t necessary when it came to you, not when he just got punched in the gut with a load of nostalgia and gut wrenching heartbreak.

He has always been yours, even during the separation. His heart hammered within his ribcage when he pulled into your driveway, his body moving in a hurry out of his car and towards your door. No hesitation.

Knock, knock, knock.

Ten seconds felt like ten minutes, but eventually the door swung open.

Your pretty face filled the focus of his pupils, his expression softening. You looked like a deer in the headlights, gazing up at him with wide eyes.

Oh, my sweet girl. There she is.

His hands itched to reach for you, to hold you in his arms and spin you around, nuzzling his nose against yours like old times — like some romantic drama. He hadn’t watched one in a while, they reminded him too much of you. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Leon's hair was messy. It was a sight you had seen many times: his bed hair. Those emotion carrying eyes of his were contrasted with the lifeless bags under them. He came over so damn quickly he hadn’t even taken the time to make himself look composed.

“Leon? What are you…” You couldn’t even finish your thoughts. You felt nothing yet so much at the same time, perhaps from the shock of it all. You brought two fingers to the pulse on your neck to make sure you were awake, and hadn’t somehow fallen asleep after your call and voicemail to him. The thundering pace of your pulse confirmed that you weren’t off in dream land.

“I got your voicemail,” He responded, sounding remorseful. “Had to make sure you were alright. Uh…can I come in?”

You continued staring at him like if he was some sort of supernatural being. If you reached your hand out to touch him, would he disappear? Or perhaps your limb would go straight through him as if he was transparent.

You snapped out of it and nodded. “Yeah, come on in.” Hesitation clouded your tone, not out of wariness but because you had no clue what the hell was going on. You hadn’t seen him in over a year, at least not in person, only through photos and videos you still had saved on your phone from when the two of you were dating (going through them was part of your nightly routine.)

“To be honest…I wasn’t expecting you to even hear my message.”

You stood there awkwardly as he entered, closing the door afterwards. Your apartment still smelled the same, a wave of comfort washed over him despite the circumstances, his eyes darting around at all your belongings. This was once his safe space, like his secret haven.

You sat on your couch, waving him over. Your legs felt like jelly, no way could you be standing for this. He followed, sitting on the couch cushion on the opposite side from you.

“My ringtone woke me up. I thought you were a coworker of mine at first but…I’m glad you weren’t.”

“Glad, really?”

“Yeah.” He gave no further context, at least for that minute.

Silence hung in the air, time became still. Either way, the shared glance between the two of you broke the tension, you were both thinking the same thing. Your minds were linked, seeking reconciliation, every circuit of neurons buzzing with your shared proximity.

He rested his elbows on his knees, running a hand through his hair, a nervous habit. Everything felt surreal, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, afraid he’d disappear.

“I’m…I’m sorry about the way I ended things.” There was a crack in his voice, he was so desperately clinging onto the ideology that he shouldn’t wear all his heart on his sleeve. He failed every time though, his words had wavered.

“I know.” You truly did.

“How?”

“Because I know you, Leon. It hurt, and I found myself wondering why you would just up and leave after what felt like such a meaningful time. But I didn't ever think you did it with mal intent.”

You should be demanding answers, hell, he could even take a few slaps to the face. Maybe his guilt ridden self preferred that to your sweet treatment. Did he even deserve to be met with your understanding? This self-pitying mindset he harbored is what had led to this in the first place.

“You’re right. I didn’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.” Were his efforts in explaining himself getting across? “I thought it was better this way. I'm…broken.”

Trying to convince him that he isn’t ‘broken’ was futile, all you could do was beautify it instead. You scooted closer to him, clasping one of his hands between yours. “All you see are your faults, but I was seeing you entirely, not just for what you do in your job or the images that keep you up at night.”

His hands felt the same. Calloused in areas he couldn’t help like his knuckles and his palms, but well-kept in the nail department. He looked down at the physical contact, putting his other hand atop yours, his thumb grazing tenderly at your skin. Familiar territory.

“It’s hard not to.” He admitted, his eyes feeling glossy all of a sudden. “My job is my life, it drags into every other part of my life.”

“How did it drag into our relationship?”

He truly didn’t know how to answer that. The times he shared with you were the best experiences of his life. He finally got the chance to pull out his cardboard box full of romantic movies to watch with the lover he had been waiting for his whole life, you. Countless nights spent cooking together in your kitchen, full of laughter and playful bickering, and some harmless food fights. Grocery shopping together with laced fingers, just a sneak peek into domesticity. God, he yearned for its return.

“I don’t know. I constantly had to leave and got no vacation time either. Let’s see…I had to keep a lot of information confidential. It kinda screams ‘this’ll all make a girl run the other way.’”

How wrong he was, he ended up leaving before he could get abandoned, as if that would’ve happened, though, you never wanted him out of your life.

“That wasn’t true for me, Leon. I wanted to be with you. I just hope I wasn’t a burden on you.”

That hurt. A dull ache spread across his chest. He pulled you close, tucking you against his side.

“Don’t say that,” His instruction was soft spoken, his lips brushed against your cheek. You were never a burden, he always shut you out, thinking that his heart was full of thorns and you’d prick yourself if he let you get too close. That, perhaps his sorrow was contagious and his poison would flood your veins.

Words of comfort weren’t his strong suit, but he tried his best. He had to. “You weren’t a burden. Never were, and never will be, okay?”

It felt so good to have you against him, his gaze was set on you, searching for any indicator that you were uncomfortable. You leaned your shoulder against his shoulder though, nuzzling against him. Pensive silence followed.

Even with the somber undertones filling your apartment, your heart was bursting. He was here, back with you. Holding you like he used to do after you had a particularly stressful day at work, or when you had an argument with one of your close ones.

The long separation made familiar carnal desires spark to life, along with the itch to bring them to fruition.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You murmured to him, but your wavering voice caught his instant attention.

You were on the verge of tears, oh dear. If you started sobbing, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold back from crying either.

Leon didn’t waste a second, pulling you onto his lap, one of his hands stroking the back of your head, his other arm wrapping around your back.

“What are you thinking about?” He needed to know. You had always been the most verbal, whereas his feelings usually showed on his face or body language.

“About how much I missed you.” You respond, running your hands up and down his arms, squeezing at his muscles. “And how unreal this feels. And…” Your eyes flicker down to his lips. “I wanna kiss you, Leon…and y’know.” Make love. “Like old times.”

Oh.

“Are you sure?” Leon hadn’t intended for the night to play out this way. He needed to make sure you were actually thinking straight with the pool of emotions you seemed to be drowning in. To be fair, he was drowning too.

It was midnight, your bodies burned for one another.

“I am.” You uttered those words with such finality, eyes set on him.

This wasn’t some impromptu longing for his physical connection, you had been craving it for as long as the two of you had been separated. To feel him in the purest and most tender way possible, nestled against one another and eliciting feelings no one else could.

The pads of his thumbs rub circles against the fat of your hips. He's looking up at you, his eyes are unable to hide a flicker of yearning and affection. Expressive, his pupils dilated and his eyebrows slightly raised. He blinked slowly, like a cat showing utmost trust to its owner.

He looks at you like he worships you (he does.) Get him on his hands and knees, he’ll mumble your name like you’re his god and he’s praying to you, all his sins out in the open and his scarred body for you to look over and judge. He’ll be vulnerable with you if that means you’ll forgive his wrongdoings and give him a second chance. You must be a merciful god, no doubt about it.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You murmured, cupping his face. His gaze was hypnotic, sending a wave of security down your body. It almost felt as if you traveled to the time before he shattered your heart into pieces of glass.

“Like what?” He couldn’t help it. Not like he had a mirror, anyway. His face was usually tense, brows permanently furrowed and eyes narrowed from being attentive all the fucking time, his lips a straight line, jaw anything but relaxed.

Not right now, though. Never with you. Everything in his body softened and loosened up around you. Well, with the exception of his dick but that was another matter.

“You know what I mean. Like…like you still love me.”

Leon didn’t know what to say. The words died in his throat while every fiber of his being wanted to say ‘I do.’ The same words he could’ve voiced out standing across the altar from you. His brain short-circuited.

His pause came across as ambiguous to you, to mask the pain, you kissed him. Like a chocolate on a hot summer day, he melted in an instant, turning to mush, holding one side of your jaw and matching your pace.

The two of you mingled like two puzzle pieces. Your chest was flush against his, one of your hands finding his hair and pulling on it, earning a drawn out groan from him. It went slow for the first five minutes, some occasional pull backs for breath, shy smiles in betweens, before going back in like the act of kissing was needed for your pulses to continue, your hearts beating as one.

“Mmph.” Your whimper made him shudder, oh how he had missed that noise. His other hand got a bit more confident, resting on the small of your back, moving up towards your ribs then back down, almost resting on your ass.

He felt a surge of heat settle in his groin, aching to give you all the pleasure you deserved, to make you feel cherished and known. To knock any misery out of your head and replace it with euphoric sparks and reassurance. To be one with you again, if you’d have him.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes fluttering open. “Bedroom?”

A nod from you was all it took. He didn’t let you get up, instead holding your ass as he stood up, his lips back on yours as he carried you to your bedroom like he owned the place. His mind still had the spatial layout, it worked out and he eventually placed you onto the middle of the bed oh so delicately.

You knew what was coming, already taking your clothes off in a haste as you heard his belt come undone, the sound of his taking his shirt off, and his boots being kicked off.

It wasn’t long until he was on you again.

Leon took his time to look at your body. He was all too familiar with it, knowing exactly where certain beauty marks were, or the places that were sensitive to even the slightest fan of his breath. His fingertips ghosted over your sides, sucking in a sharp inhale as his eyes roamed all over, studying you as if you were his muse and he was about to draw you. “So beautiful…”

His lips had traveled all across you once upon a time. Leon had a great memory, perhaps one of his best features, though also his downfall. At times like these, it comes in handy. It almost seemed like a hazy flashback to the nights he had you splayed on the bed, pressing his lips against your forehead and making it all the way to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

He wanted to mimic the memory. “Need to taste you. Can I?”

“God, yes.” You agreed in a heartbeat, body already feeling all tingly at the anticipation.

He littered open mouthed kisses from the middle of your chest, all the way down to your end of your stomach, making your body ignite with flames and mind flood with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. What day was it? Month? Year? You couldn’t remember, just desperately hoping this wasn’t some realistic feeling dream. You’ve had those too often, and if you woke up without him by your side, you felt like you would die from heartbreak.

He hooked his arms underneath your thighs to pull you close. His fingers dug into your thighs as he took another look at his favorite pretty cunt. He missed this. Missed you. Missed having you grind yourself against his face until he couldn’t breathe. Missed having his heart race from the angelic noises you blessed his ears with.

His nose pressed against your clit, applying light pressure as his tongue lapped at your slit, gathering the dew there. Geez, he really got right into it. Your eyes rolled back, your stomach tensing and your back arching. You could die right now by your (ex) lover’s tongue, what a way to go.

On the occasion that he opened his eyes, he’d look up at you through his light lashes — he swore you looked like an angel from his perspective.

“What is this? Your last meal on death row?” You were joking, but god…he really was making your mind go blank, he knew just all the right buttons to press.

“Oh, so you think I’m a criminal?”

Like always, you reached for his hair, pushing it back and hearing him growl out of contentment. He gave your clit gentle sucks before flattening his tongue against it and flicking it, his head moving side to side, repeating the process again and again.

One thing about Leon? He always found a way to turn you on by being vocal. His noises were muffled and sloppy but you could feel the vibration of all his whimpers and growls against you as he took his time eating you out. He was getting off to pleasuring you, and that fact alone made it so much hotter.

Your thighs were trembling, threatening to close in and squeeze his head. Leon placed one of his hands over your lower abdomen, applying light pressure with his palm and coaxing you into your orgasm.

It didn’t take you long to get there, you hadn’t felt a tongue on you in ages, he was your last.

“Leon, I’m—“

He already knew.

“That’s it, make a mess all over my face.” It sounded like a demand but instead it came across as a pitiful and desperate plea.

How many times had he been in this position? Lying on his stomach, your taste on his tongue, chin dripping with his drool and your wetness, feeling your body trembling…he couldn’t even count how many. But it was enough for him to know your body like no other.

He kept going even after your thighs started squeezing in on him, even with the way you unintentionally tugged at his hair enough to have him rutting against your sheets. He made sure to make your orgasm feel good, lapping at you all throughout until he heard a whine leave your lips and he felt you weakly push his head away — he didn’t want to overstimulate you and hurt you.

He finally took a breath, one that filled his lungs with satisfaction as he propped himself up on his elbows before sitting up. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his blood pump south with the way you were still composing yourself, your legs twitching all cutely and your torso rising and sinking with each deep breath you attempted to take.

“Do you wanna…” Your eyes flitted down to the prominent tent in his pants, feeling a stirring in your stomach already.

“Do you?”

“Yeah. I mean…only if you want to.”

With his belt already in some corner of the room and his fly down, all that was left was discarding his pants and boxers down. He fished his wallet out and pulled a packet from it before doing so.

You were too distracted eyeing his now exposed dick, gulping. It had been a while. But a certain wrapper noise caught your attention. A condom. You had always been careful with him in the past, but you wanted him inside him without any barriers. To feel him entirely, his skin against your insides.

“Don’t, please?”

“But–“

“I need to feel you, Leon.”

“Already being a bad influence on me? What am I gonna do with you?” His jest was met with your roll of eyes, but the corners of your eyes crinkled, happy he was already comfortable enough to bicker a bit.

He pet your head, gazing fondly at you as he awaited your response.

“I just want to feel you as close as possible. I don't know how to explain it. You can pull out at the end…I dunno.”

You didn’t need to explain further, because he felt the same. He kissed your forehead, whispering “okay.”

Getting in between you and in position for missionary, he continued peppering kisses all over your face. He couldn’t hold back, he had so much to make up for, he owed you at least a thousand more. He pushed into you, a breathy moan leaving his lips, it felt like he had just entered the pearly gates. And the way your jaw hung open in a silent gasp told him you felt the same.

“You alright?”

“Mhm, keep going.”

“God, I missed you…” His thrusts made the bed creak, adding to the assortment of sounds of two bodies joined as one: skin against skin, high pitched gasps and occasional throaty groans, nails scratching against Leon’s back and leaving red marks in their wake, a subtle noise, but there nonetheless.

“Yeah? How much?”

“Too much. Could never get you outta my mind.” He admitted, burying his head against your neck to leave open-mouthed kisses all over, smiling when he felt you squirming. “Dreamt about you every night. Every…every morning I woke up, I thought you’d still be by my side.”

His response knocked the breath out of you, God if you could have him closer than physically possible, you would. This was the closest you’d be though, his tip hitting your g-spot, his body flush against yours, it was just the two of you in this never ending universe.

“Leon…Leon…fuck.” You called for him like you needed him to prevent you from crumbling.

He pinned one of your hands to the side of your head and laced his fingers between yours, his head remaining against your other side, raspy grunts and incoherent praises rumbling against your ear. He gently bit your earlobe, tugging at it and sending a shiver down your spine.

Despite all his self doubts, Leon knew how to love, how to send another person to cloud nine and make their head fuzzy with sheer euphoria. He wasn’t fucking you, he was loving you, there’s a clear difference.

His lips trailed to your jawline, eventually reaching your lips and initiating an uncoordinated make out session, the sound of dazed out whimpers and quiet growls mixing together perfectly.

He was getting there, his pace more erratic than before, his hand squeezing yours tightly. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbled against your lips, speaking in between rushed pecks. “Prettiest girl in the world.”

You managed to smile at that. “Yeah? Well you’re the prettiest boy in the world.”

You could’ve said handsome. Or hot. Or cute. But Leon was pretty, that was always the first thing that came to your mind. He was like a model, surely some agency would have tried to recruit him if he were actually in broad daylight more.

“Mm.” He liked the compliment. No more words were exchanged after that, he was focused on feeling you. Feeling the way you took all of him like it was nothing, clearly the two of you were physically made for one another.

There was no going back from this, Leon couldn’t bear the thought of getting a taste of happiness yet again and then falling back into a hopeless pit. He wouldn’t push you away again.

You were already sensitive from the way he had made you cum on his face earlier. You pulled away from his kisses, your head thrashing side to side against the pillow instead, your hips desperately bucking to meet his.

“Leon…”

“Just let go for me, you can do it.”

Moans ripped from your throat, your nails leaving crescent indents on his skin as your body writhed underneath him. Leon couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you came, his own stomach feeling tighter and tighter until he followed suit.

“I love you.” He let it slip at the very end, his mind too dazed and his emotions for you running at full blast. You would’ve replied if not for the way you were in awe, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed, his head tilted back, his mouth let out the raspiest grunts as he pulled out and came. Fuck, he couldn’t be real.

It was only then that Leon’s head cleared. He felt his heart sink to his stomach, had he said something wrong? The moment died down, he felt uncertain about how you’d react. Regardless, Leon took a moment to admire you in your flushed state before leaning down to kiss your head, then lying down beside you and pulling you to his side.

You were all dazed with his confession lingering in your head.

He still loved you. Maybe it was obvious, but hearing it aloud was a completely different feeling.

All the suppressed emotions between the two of you were being put on the spotlight. Your eyes brimmed with unshed tears, you tried to blink them away, but you failed.

Leon wished your eyes hadn’t gotten glossy and that your lips hadn’t tugged into a small frown. It made his heart physically ache. Heavy hearted, that’s what he felt like, swallowing to try to alleviate just how sore his throat felt all of a sudden. Guilt bubbled in his stomach because he knew he was the source of your tears.

He kissed away your tears, welcoming the salty taste of them.

He couldn’t tell you not to cry, he wasn’t in the position to. All he could do was reassure you instead, curling his hand into a fist before rubbing soothing circles onto your back as he watched you curl against him.

“Hey…”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to start crying. I just…you still love me? Did you mean that?”

“It’s okay. Just let it out, I'm here for you.” He had your head tucked underneath his chin. “And yeah…I never stopped.”

“I love you too.”

He wasn’t leaving this time.

Maybe that ring he held onto would find its true owner soon.

You, his sweet girl.

[stuckinapril]

how to feel like a person?

digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.

establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.

journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.

start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.

practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.

have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.

have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.

see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.

action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.

dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.

[writingescapades]

Most Precious Friend

Playing around with writing ambiguous relationships.

Aventurine x Bodyguard reader

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO!

Aventurine ran through the long corridors of the shambled building. An eyesore. Ignored. A perfect storage place for missing people. This is where he would have been, should have been. It was his mission, his mistake.

Aventurine slammed open doors, each one producing only a growing dread within his stomach. His heart was erratic, and he almost wished he didn’t find what he was looking for. There were no guards posted because perpetrators only came with one purpose and victims only left in one condition. Silence. It was too silent. Still the young manager stormed through the building, hoping that his noise would stir some life, somewhere.

And then he found a lump on a dirty floor. The lump didn’t start at the sound of the door opening. Trepidation padded Aventurine’s footsteps as he slowly made his way to the lump. He couldn’t even tell if it was breathing. With shaking hands he reached out to feel the lump. Cold. His hand moved towards the wrist. Faint. So, so faint. But the heartbeat was there, and Aventurine shuddered out a sigh. He couldn’t cry now. Later. When he was given permission. Right now, he had no rights to wail.

Steeling himself, he slowly turned the lump over, to see the familiar face once more. You were caked in dried blood, bruises, burns, and bites. Your skin was swollen and raw. Aventurine could smell the dirt and infection wafting off of you. He was so scared to touch you, to lift you, for fear of putting you in pain once more. So he called the medical team that was on standby outside. Watching, as they lifted you onto the stretcher, Aventurine didn’t know what was worse, your silence or your screams.

He didn’t remember how he made it back to the hospital but came to when an IPC doctor asked to speak with him.

“Under relationship it says bodyguard”.

Aventurine hummed noncommitantly.

“They have a lot of injuries”.

He wondered when he would be able to see you, to beg for forgiveness. No. That was too much to ask for. How do you forgive someone after being tortured in their place?

“It’s just,” the doctor sighed. “In our experience, no one cares about the bodyguard”.

She hated such conversations. It was so much more efficient when there were only understandings. But since this bodyguard was brought in by the infamous IPC manager, she thought she would double check.

“I just want to see, if we still have an understanding”.

She watched as the IPC manager turned his head. He still had his sunglasses on making him seem distant to the whole event. He could care less about this conversation. Probably just wants a clean report and bill for administration reasons.

“The only understanding I have is that you are a doctor, and you have a patient”.

The doctor froze at the icy tone. She watched as the man before her lifted his sunglasses. Trash.

Aventurine gave a sinister smile. “One more thing, friend, if they don’t make it,” his voice dropped, “I’ll rip this hospital to shreds so fast you won’t be able to piece yourself back together in time for your death”.

Delivering his warning, the IPC manager dropped his glasses back on, tucked his hands into his pockets and sauntered out the door. It was so much easier to threaten when they hated you.

You almost didn’t want to open your eyes. It was way too bright, and you were way too tired. Besides, you didn’t know if you had it in you to endure more pain. You didn’t dare move, conserving your energy for when they came again. You hand felt clenched, and it buzzed irritatingly. It was strangely warm too. Probably a new injury. Mustering the courage to glance at what new misery your torturers induced, you brought your eyes towards your left hand. There was another hand. A familiar hand interlaced tightly within yours bringing you down to reality. He was alive. Your eyes softened despite the frown on your face.

“Putting yourself in danger to protect me defeats the point of my existence. I’m the bodyguard, remember?”

“Did you know,” Aventurine whispered, “that no one cares for the bodyguard”.

You nodded. It was the staple of your training. Live in the shadows, die in the shadows.

“Then why,” Aventurine’s hands tightened around yours, turning his knuckles white, “were you targeted?”

Observant, he always cut to the point around you. It was his mission, but just as he was closing in, his target got alerted and put traps in the cage. Your intel informed you immediately, but you had no time to plan with Aventurine. You had to act fast to buy Aventurine time.

“I might have,” you broke off and scoffed. You didn’t think you would survive and have to tell Aventurine the truth!

“I might have insinuated something along the lines of hurting me would cause you more misery than any corporal pain. He was a fool to believe it would work”.

 Aventurine brought your hand up to his lips and delivered soft, feathery kisses.

“An utter fool,” he remarked.

“So tell me IPC manager, why is your bodyguard still alive?”

“Because” Aventurine drew your hand to his heart. “I am a fool and you are my most precious friend”.

[strawberryblue-blog]

She's mine too —Mason Mount.

summary: annoying days of pregnancy with mason

warning: none. pregnancy, vomiting, discomfort.

words count: +1.5k

#SEXYNOTE: Merry belated Christmas and early happy new year y'all 💌 thanks for the support, i hope you are well. love youuuu 🩵

You hugged the toilet after spitting up all the dinner of the night between sobs, you sighed taking a big breath of air, feeling your stomach churning again. It was the fifth time you had gotten up to vomit in the night and you were really exhausted. For at least a week you had been feeling this way but in the last two days, it had gotten worse and you couldn't even feed yourself properly as you ended up vomiting.

Did your son or daughter hate you? It was practically thanks to you that he or she was coming into this world, and this is how he or she thanked you? By making you spit out everything you ate? By making you feel so fragile and silly at the same time? You wanted to stay cheerful, positive and full of energy but your baby was slowly consuming you. This was nothing like what you used to hear about pregnancies.

You had never been through anything before and it really scared you. The doctor had said it was normal as long as you had constant checkups and you just had to put up with it, even though it was very hard for you and especially for Mason. Sometimes he felt that what he was doing for you wasn't enough and he hated to see you suffer but it wasn't his fault and it would pass. You sighed whimpering a little, anyone would say you were exaggerating a little (and maybe you were) but you were really suffering. Since four months ago your body had changed, your fears had become constant, dizziness, mood swings, tiredness, breast pain, you had even become irritable. Sometimes you felt guilty but it was inevitable, the baby was running your life (Not really).

But you had no regrets.

Being a mother had been one of your dreams growing up, you used to say you wanted to be like your mother and you really hoped you would be for this child. You were discovering this whole new world and you have to admit you thought it would be something else, at least you had a great man by your side. Mason used to make your endless days, the best experience of your life. He would massage your feet, fulfill your every whim, pamper you and take care of you like you were a princess.

You couldn't complain, you were perfect together and starting a family with him was another one of your biggest dreams. Because you loved everything about him, about the relationship, the respect and love you had. Because you admired how strong and respectable he was and how he behaved with you, your family and friends. Because you were in love with him and that your son had him for a father, it was the biggest pride you could feel.

A hand on your back caressed you, pulling your hair back into a makeshift bun. Mason held your hair and calmed your nerves as he appeared behind you. You hated waking him up in the middle of the night with your retching, especially since you knew he'd have to get up early in the morning but Mason was always with you.

"Don't tease me like that" you laughed exhaustedly after a while. "That's the reason i'm here, puking up everything i ingest."

Mason hid a chuckle behind his smile, trying not to laugh at your funny comment because of the situation you were going through. But it was inevitable, even in misery you were saying funny things to him.

"You suggested doing it, honey. If you had stuck it out, we wouldn't be here," he replied, earning a pout from you.

And it was true. Maybe if they hadn't had too many drinks that night and you hadn't been so horny, nothing would have changed and you wouldn't have found yourself right now. But you wanted this as much as he did, because you were talking about this and about the future, and this was the future, you becoming parents.

After a while without nausea, Mason took you in his arms, slowly carrying you toward the bed. He handed you a glass of water and when you drank some, he helped you lie down on the soft sheets, arranging the pillows on your back to make you comfortable.

"I must look terrible" you whispered a little shaken. Your cheeks were red, your forehead sweaty and you sure looked gross right now. Mason quickly denied.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world" he murmured with his eyes sparkling. "You'll bring our child, you could never look terrible" his fingers caressed your face. A smile appeared on your lips as he kissed your forehead softly.

He took his place beside you, resting his head on your belly as he wrapped his arms around you. One of his hands caressed the protruding bump, which was growing bigger and bigger every day. You didn't know the sex of the baby yet but everything was within the norm for a pregnancy, something you were grateful for, and they were supposed to have news about the baby by the next visit.

"Baby, leave mommy alone for a while, okay? She's mine too" he whispered towards her son or daughter, drawing a smile from you. Your fingers tangled in her hair, stroking her chestnut locks. Your chest overflowed with feelings seeing him there and your heart filled with happiness at the image.

Mason on top of his baby, caressing your skin with his warm fingers, his eyes shining in his wonderful gaze. The reason for your happiness in front of you, your whole world. Your eyes filled with tears and you try not to cry but you were sensitive, everything hit you double, more when it was about your son and your boyfriend.

You were both terrified, you weren't going to lie, but since the test had come back positive and after a few months of waiting, you were ready for what was to come. You had learned to love each other, you had each other, you trusted each other and you were walking on the same side. Everything had been easier, since you knew Mason, you were always supporting and loving each other.

"The boys want it to be a boy to teach him to play football but honestly i want it to be a girl" Mason whispered turning back to your chest, still her hand held on the baby, caressing it.

"Is that what you want?" you asked with a giggle. Mason nodded. "Even Summer would take care of her and teach her" you mentioned and your heart fluttered with love as you imagined your boyfriend's niece with your daughter or son.

Mason smiled hugely.

"I want a boy too, of course. But we'll have time to bring him along after the baby girl" he joked with a grimace. You laughed out loud.

You were excited for the arrival of their son or daughter, they were counting the days since they had found out and memories were piling up in their memories of this special time. The wait was going to be hard but it would definitely be worth it when you had him or her with you.

[avonne-writes]

Happiness, you’re a cat

A HS AU one-shot inspired by @alienoresimagines 's post

I'll probably post this on AO3 tomorrow. Edit: posted on AO3

1.

Bucky hates hospitals. The sterile smell, all the sick and dying people, back-breaking waiting room chairs. Thankfully, he has never had to stay in one overnight, but he did hit his head in a goal post once when he was ten, and his mom spent hours in the ER with him to get his concussion looked at. It was just after his dad left. What a miserable fucking time.

Unsurprisingly, he isn't keen to go back there anytime soon.

He feels like he might have to though, because at the rate things are going, they’re gonna have to amputate his right arm. A few months ago, Brady showed him a gory Reddit thread about a guy who, apparently, fell asleep in the lotus pose and his legs got so fucking wrecked that they had to cut them off. The pose restricted his blood flow or something and they couldn't restore it. He can’t remember how long the man was contorted like that. What's the point of no return?

His elementary school teacher used to tell his mom that Bucky would do crazy things for the people he liked. Well, she must have been right because Bucky's going to risk his arm just to let Gale sleep for an hour longer.

Gale. Gale, Gale, Gale.

Bucky's heart skips a beat every time he lets himself stop for a moment and think about things. Happiness floods his chest and makes his limbs thrum with excited energy. Three of them. His right arm is currently fighting for its life, crushed under Gale’s curled up body. But he puts the pins and needles out of his mind and concentrates on the positives.

Gale has been his boyfriend for a whole month now. A month! Bucky's longest relationship so far lasted three. He doesn’t let himself think about the fact that this means that they may be past one third of their time together. He can’t think about that or he’ll get anxious. Who knows, perhaps they'll stay together forever. It was their one-month anniversary today - Gale said it was stupid to call it anniversary because the word literally comes from "year" in Latin, but he did accept Bucky's invitation to watch a movie with him in Bucky's room.

Since Gale is a total movie nerd, Bucky was looking forward to showing him Moneyball, but Gale pillowed his head on Bucky’s chest and fell asleep ten minutes in. The movie is at two thirds now, and Bucky's arm is on fire from being pinned so long.

He doesn’t care.

He turns his head to look at Gale the best he can, and he knows that all the pain is worth it a thousand times over. So close that his eyes can’t focus, he sees the slope of Gale's nose, his long, pale eyelashes and the soft, parted lips he spent an hour kissing yesterday. Bucky has never had anyone sleep on him before. It’s the most amazing, comforting feeling he has ever experienced. They breathe together. Gale's body is warm against his, and his arm draped across Bucky's torso fills Bucky's stomach with butterflies. God, he wants to reach out and stroke it. There are small moles sprinkled on it. There’s one on the heel of Gale's palm, and he’s aching to pull it to his mouth and kiss it.

Ah, why is he such a loser? Gale is right here in his arms, in his bed, and he’s still in pain because he wants more and he knows it's too much and his crush is so bad, so... ugh, it's fucking embarrassing. Bucky flushes hot and cold, then hot again. Happy in his misery.

He'd feel it if his arm was beyond saving, wouldn’t he? Or, technically, he wouldn’t feel it. That would be the sign, he thinks. Prickling pain is good.

Gale told him he had trouble sleeping lately. What's a better anniversary present than letting him rest as long as he needs it?

It's a bigger problem that Bucky can’t pay attention to the movie anymore. His senses are entirely consumed by Gale. The weight of him. His blond hair. His smell. Bucky takes a deeper breath, trying to memorize it. If it clings to his clothes, he’s gonna hide them from his mom and sleep with them tonight. Gale is like an angel in his sleep, and he just wants to - to squeeze him tight and never let him go. Man, he needs help...

Unable to resist any longer, he raises his - still alive - left hand and brushes Gale's right with a fingertip. When Gale’s breathing doesn’t change, Bucky smiles to himself and starts tracing the lines of Gale's bones with his index finger, then the divots of his wrist. He draws a J over the back of Gale's hand, then a heart. He’s just about to start a G when the skin shifts under his touch, and Gale’s inhale hitches.

The moment Gale's consciousness returns, he shoots up into a sitting position, lifting all the weight that has been crushing Bucky's arm at once. Bucky whines and sobs dramatically in pain, so much so, that after a moment, Gale starts snickering.

"What are you doing?"

"Pins and needles." Bucky gasps and sits up too, shaking his arm desperately.

Gale rubs his forehead like some middle-aged dad looking at his dumbass kid. Bucky grins in return. He doesn’t know why but he enjoys this. The sight of his smile makes Gale laugh again. His chin-length hair is flat on the side that rested on Bucky’s chest, and there's a blush creeping up his neck.

"Sorry for falling asleep." He says. Bucky can’t look away from the blue of his eyes. He’s hypnotized.

"You can always sleep here."

Gale casts his gaze down, then glances back up, a little shy. "Thanks, Bucky."

"I would've let them amputate it for you." Bucky tells him, holding out his arm.

Gale gives him a look of pained amusement. "Do I even want to know what you're talking about?"

"Brady showed me this thread -" Bucky launches into the story, happy to be able to talk to Gale again after more than an hour of silence. Gale listens to him attentively, and when he slips his hand into Bucky's, Bucky's suddenly aware that none of the nerves died in his palm. They're very much alive and pump giddiness into his veins. Moneyball draws to a climax in the background, forgotten.

~~~

2.

It's 4 p.m., and the bright-hot light of the sun blasts Bucky's face through the window of their apartment. He’s lying on his back in their bed, and Gale is asleep in his embrace, his head resting on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky's arm tingles with pinprickles of pain. Volume so low it's almost muted, a movie drones on in their TV.

It's Moneyball again.

The irony isn’t lost on Bucky. Every single time he tried to watch this thing with Gale in the six years they’ve been together, Gale fell asleep. Every. Single. Time. He’s starting to think it’s some sort of message he's supposed to understand. John, stop making me watch baseball films and footage. Or, John, I have a Pavlovian reflex to nod off as soon as I hear the word baseball. He can hear these things in Gale's voice, although Gale would never say them, only Bucky would if he did an impression of Gale. It would make Gale laugh, so Bucky grins up at the ceiling just imagining it.

Fuck, his arm hurts like a bitch. And the sun feels like fingers made of light trying to pry his eyes open. His t-shirt is growing damp with sweat at the collar. Over his head, with some effort, he manages to grab Gale's actual pillow, the one Gale discarded in favour of Bucky's chest. Bucky puts it on his own face to block out the light and tries to fall asleep too.

This exam period has been a real clusterfuck. He was on coffee 24/7, would have walked around with an IV drip of the stuff if he could, just to push through. Gale simply reverted to his antisocial insomniac persona, and they decided by mutual silent agreement not to even try to touch each other until it was over.

It's done and dealt with now. Grades added in their college accounts, pat on the head received gracefully by Gale for being the only one who passed Applied Nuclear Physics on the first try. Obligatory Let's get wasted! party attended two days ago, call with Mom suffered through hungover yesterday. Now, there's nothing else on Bucky’s agenda but sleep for 48 hours straight. And making Gale watch Moneyball.

He's gonna make him do it before they get married, he swears.

Gale is so tired that he’s sleeping with his mouth open. Bucky can tell. It doesn’t take a genius, given the suspicious damp spot he feels on his shirt. He doesn’t mind a bit of drool. Or a lot. He’s gonna let Gale sleep as long as he needs.

But by God, his arm feels like it’s gonna skip the whole amputation step and just fall right off. He yawns against the pillow on his face and tries to take his mind off it.

He can smell Gale's scent on the fabric, he notes happily. Gale's left leg is tangled with his own, Gale's once icy foot tucked against his calf, now warmed by Bucky's heat. You have the coldest feet in the whole fucking galaxy, he informed Gale a few weeks ago, sitting on the couch with Gale's legs on his lap. Gale just pressed one of those feet to the tender skin of Bucky’s inner thigh, half inside his shorts, and told Bucky to guess the size of the Milky Way or lose a piece of clothing.

There's a reason why Bucky isn't the one planning to be an Astrophysicist...

He wonders what it’s going to be like once they graduate. His heart skips a beat. Does Gale hope for the same things he does? They've talked about marriage in the abstract, playing around with the fantasy of it for a bit, but it's not a fantasy anymore. It’s within reach, Bucky can feel it. And that suddenly makes his hopes so much harder to share - he’s scared of losing them all on a mistake.

But now that their exams are done, it can occupy all his thoughts again.

It's time. Anticipation thrums through his bones. He has been aching for it long enough. He’s got the ring. All he needs to do is ask.

Drifting between daydreams and reality, he reaches for Gale’s hand on his abdomen. He traces his knuckles with his thumb and lingers on his bare ring finger, lost in thought.

When Gale pulls in a sharper breath, he shifts his touch to Gale's wrist.

Gale groans and lifts his head away from the wet spot on Bucky’s shirt. Blood flows rapidly back to Bucky's arm and makes him grunt in pain. He tries to shake the pins and needles out of his limb, while Gale just climbs over him like some lazy cat and collapses on his other side. He takes up the same pose he had before, just mirrored, but upon noticing the pillow on Bucky’s head, he nuzzles his way closer until both of their faces are covered by it. They're pressed so close together that the tip of Bucky's nose brushes Gale's cheek.

"We've blinds." He mumbles.

Gale hums and falls back asleep. Bucky’s arm lies squished under him. Moneyball stays on until the end credits roll down.

[soaringwide]

PAC: What's next in your love life?

Here is my love ahead spread, where we're going to look into what is coming for you in your love life, having singles or people in non-committed or early stages of the relationship in mind.

The reading doesn't contain any info on gender or orientation.

As always, this is a general reading meant for multiple people, there are only 3 piles, so it might not apply 100% to you. Take what resonates and leave out the rest.

I'm available for private readings and have a ko-fi. Free readings are currently closed at the time of writing this.

PILE 1

Cards: 7 of Pentacles, 7 of Cups, Judgement, the Tower, Knight of Wands, 8 of Swords, the Sun, 4 of Wands, Ace of Cups

We'll start by looking at your current situation regarding your love life.

It seems something has been growing in your love life for a while now. I'm thinking the early stages of a relationship or a crush situation. Zooming out, the growth seems steady, but it's possible that it wasn't so smooth when you look at it on the day to day. Some days might have felt like take 2 steps backward, and the next day you would move forward again. As a result you might be loosing your patience a little, ignoring the fact that things are indeed moving forward, even though not as fast as you want them to, or not exactly the way you want them to. You're eagerly waiting for things to take up speed and finally reach some type of harvest that you've been craving for. I also see you as somewhat passive, waiting for something to happen on its own. You're not necessarily taking any decisive action, but rather going with the flow of things and observing your relationship build slowly. Overall you feel quite impatient.

With the 7 of Cups in the position of things going for you, I think you have a tendency to get lost in your daydreams and illusions, regarding love and love interests. However, you're fully aware of that and actively de-fogging the whole thing. I see you trying to remain realistic and not too much in your head. I think that's a process that you had to learn the hard way. You're learning to pick up on the truth and discard the lies, which is quite painful and not a growth that happens in a straight line. Inside all this mess, there are nuggets of wisdom you're determined to find. It's like, either it helps you clear the way for this specific relationship, or it just makes you a healthier human, which is a win win situation.

However for what's going against you, I think you still have a tendency to put the blame on others instead of understanding that the current situation is your doing. If you're unsatisfied with the pace of things, you have choices. You can either wait and find peace in that, or move on to pursue something else. Whatever it is, don't wallow in misery because you feel frustrated and let resentment boil within you against your person, yourself, or the situation. What I'm trying to say is that you're refusing to make the call and pick a path to follow with determination, and instead you keep going back and forth in your head and creating a terrible emotional state for yourself. If you keep waiting for a sign in a passive and hopeless way, things will not change.

For what to take in in this situation, I see the need for a big wake up call with the Tower. I know this card has a bad rep but I think here it's mostly an indication of the intensity of the shift you need to do. It is paired with the Knight of Wands which is a clear indication that you need to take the reign and pursue what you want, taking a risk that things might collapse as a result. Welcome illusions being stripped away, let go of lies and take the risk to reveal your true self.

I asked for a clarification and got the 8 of Swords, which shines light on this state you need to wake up from: the fact that you keep yourself in a state of powerlessness when you have the means to cut your bonds. Really, this state of stagnancy is your doing and you need to own up to the fact and get out of that hole. Whatever you decide to do, you need to shake things up drastically and take a more active part in your love life.

What you need to release with the Sun, I get the idea that you're a bit too childish and immature when it comes to love matters, or at least in this situation. The card shows a child on a horse, but unlike the knight of wands who is in full control of his mount, the sun-child is merely waving his arms around and not doing much. It looks quite comical and does not embody a serious partner one might want to pursue. So I'm getting again the idea of the need to be more serious and committed, and releasing this naive mindset that things are going to fall on your lap without you doing anything at all.

For the most probably outcome in this situation, with the Four of Wands I was drawn to look up the astrological correspondence of the card and I got Venus in Aries, which is quite funny since Venus is currently in Aries until April 29th 2024 (writing this on the 23rd). I don't necessarily think this means everyone will find an outcome within the next few days, however, it does point out at changes happening presently, or as a direct result of this Venus in Aries season. Which again puts the idea of acting and stop wasting time.

It's also fun because it points at a very fiery approach to love, much like what the Knight of Wands was suggesting. Instead of worrying whether they love you or not, whether you should move on or not, you're being advised to go and find out. With the 4 of Wands as this placement in the tarot, there is an idea of celebration and coming together. The characters on the card are inviting, as if to welcome you in their circle, or hinting at a festive event or a gathering. A positive outcome is definitely possible, and if not, it's the opportunity to move on from heartache and find a better future with your heart unburdened.

The underlying energy is presented by the Ace of Cups, which definitely speaks of an exciting time for romantic feelings, where feelings are being birthed and coming to light. There is opportunity for a renewal in this connection.

PILE 2

Cards: The Devil, the Lovers, the Queen of Swords, Ace of Swords, 8 of Wands, 9 of Cups, the Fool 10 of Cups, 2 of Wands, 6 of Swords, 3 of Cups, 3 of Wands

We'll start by looking at your current situation regarding your love life.

With the Devil as you current situation, it is possible that you're crushing on someone or are in a non-committed relationship with someone that is loaded with sexual energy. However, it also points at an obsessive dynamic in the relationship which fosters an unhealthy atmosphere. It is clarified by the Lovers and the Queen of Swords, so I think there might be someone in this relationship hoping for love, and someone with their walls up, appearing cold and distant, even if there is physical intimacy at play here. It's also possible that the one interested in committed love doesn't respect their own boundaries and let themselves being stringed along.

As to what's going for you, I see you embracing clarity and the desire to cut through bullshit at this point. A part of you wants to reach the truth of this situation and is willing to think about it deeply. Get your sense of agency back by either communicating your needs and fears or by taking the time by yourself to work on that. It's clarified by the 8 of Wands so I see quick communication, heated arguments perhaps but it's for the best because you need to get to the core of the issue.

For what's going against you, I see you clinging onto the good aspects of this relationship, as in, it's not perfect but there's enough pleasurable aspects to it that you don't want to let go of that. You're protective of what you have and I also see you being a bit too carefree by pretending the negative aspects of this situation don't affect you that much, that everything is find and good, even though it isn't. You might be a bit of a hopeless romantic and you just don't want to see that this situation is not bringing you the true happiness that you seek but rather putting you in a unstable and potentially threatening situation. I don't know how to put it but with this + the Devil as significator for this relationship I get toxic vibes from this, but that you're too addicted to it to really snap out of it.

What you need to take in is shown by the 10 of Cups, and I think here it means that you need to find hope again that you're deserving of true and untainted happiness in matters of love. This card is about commitment and romantic, even familial fulfillment, and I think it's important to remember that if that's what you want then you can't settle for less because then you'll never get what your heart truly desires. This card is here to remind you of your dream, stop settling for less and suffocating your true wish.

You need to release your hope that the situation will solve itself without making a choice. I get the idea that you keep imagining how things could be, or would be if X or Y happened, but you're not taking the necessary step towards your wish.

All of this is highlighted by the general energy of the reading, which is all about going back to decision making after a time of hesitation. It's going to be your role to know which decision you need to make and how though, but you need to leave the harbor at some point.

For the outcome of this situation, I see you moving on to better days, letting go of this situation that doesn't fulfill you and going through a very social phase where you're going to either form new connections, or get back in touch with friends and celebrate your newfound freedom. It seems this decision of moving on will bring you a lot more happiness than sorrow. Yes it is painful to let go, but you have much to gain, and seeking different social interactions will help you feel better and get back on track. Perhaps it would help to find the humor in the situation and have fun gossiping about this relationship with your friends in order to vent and get another perspective.

PILE 3

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, the Fool, 3 of Cups, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords rx, 9 of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, Temperance, 10 of Swords, the High Priestess, 9 of Swords

First off, let's look at your current love life.

For this pile, I don't think there is anyone specific in the picture for you. I see two possible situations depending on the people. Some of you might have experienced a breakup and are now in your new chapter, having left behind that situation and being past that; for others, I see you waiting for a relationship to show up eventually like some big turn of events. In both cases, you have a very open and carefree attitude right now, enjoying the moment and I get the idea that you might be enjoying casual sex as well, for some of you at least. In any case, you are currently not bound to anyone.

For what's going for you, I see you being social, meeting new people or enjoying time with friends. You're just enjoying yourself and your freedom and it's what you feel called to do right now. It seems you really needed to go through that phase in order to feel happier with yourself and find your balance again.

For what's going against you, I see the idea of casual, or at least, superficial connections showing up once more. You might also not be super ready to get into a committed relationship at the moment because you still feel the need to enjoy your freedom and have either multiple partners, or you just want to enjoy your social life without having to compromise or divide the limited time you have in your hands for one person only. I also see that you lack clarity on what you want. Is a committed relationship really what you want, or do you want to keep what you have right now? And if a relationship is what you want, what would it look like? I think you need to take some time reflecting on what romantic happiness looks like to you to see if it aligns with what you're doing.

For what you need to welcome in, there is a message here of reminding yourself that love is not just about sex and intensity, but also about sweetness and complicity. Looking up to your partner because you find them incredible, because they make you feel like a giggly child you can be your true self with. I also see the need to value true and deep emotional connection. There is a need to be the guardian of your fulfillment, not in a warroir-like way, but rather, in a nurturing way. Be the gardener that takes care of their blooming plants with love and care, and by that I mean that you need to put in the energy of what you want to harvest in the future, not just what's easily available in the moment. You also need to be more independent and advocate for your needs.

It's is very important to make way before you can receive anything new. Which means that you need to get clear on what it is that you truly want and release what doesn't align with that. Perhaps you're also quite detached and would benefit from getting in touch with your deeper emotions again. I think you've somewhat been hiding your heavier emotions inside and ignoring them for a while now and that might be what needs to be released.

For outcome, I think there is a deep need for realizing the options you have to choose from regarding your love life, and really take a look at what you truly want. I think this very social phase will come to an end for now, that you will be more focused on yourself and your inner world. This may trigger intense negative feelings that you were ignoring up until now because you were distracting yourself from them. You may need to hit the bottom before you can rise again, but fear not because from there, the only way to go is up. Learn to look for answers within, I think this time has the opportunity to teach you a lot about yourself and help your grow as a person and to gain clarity on your life.

I also wanted to note that there is a striking lack of Wands in this reading, which to me indicates that the main point of work in your situation is not so much taking actions, but processing thoughts and emotions to get clear on what you want and how to get there. A time for self reflection and growth is coming up.

[azurem]

I was thinking about Inkmare and decided to yap a bit...!!

The whole thing had started just as a way for Nightmare to get into Ink's life, disrupt it, weaken him, and make him be dependent on him. He could tell Ink cared about his job- (the way the Stars fought to save the people, Dream leading with Blue and Ink not long behind) and that he cared about his perceived uselessness. It'd be so easy to just make him feel like his usefulness didn't come from his work solo but rather from how he worked alongside his team. And of course, wouldn't Ink be so grateful? (After all, he just wasn't... as successful when fending against Error the way he once was. What a pity.) Grateful enough to trust him, at least. And as useful as the benefits of having his trust were, he'd also felt the way his brother would react to his friend's betrayal would be very... interesting.

Trust doesn't come from nowhere. For Nightmare to truly tie Ink to him, he'd need to make some effort himself. Make him smile, be a shoulder to cry to. Be a protector, and fake some vulnerability. He knew this dance well. Mortals were simple to please, and much more predictable. While the time spent on making the relationship would have been much more enjoyed had he just spent it reading, it's not like it'd be the worst thing he had to bear.

But from there... He finds that... actually spending time with Ink... Isn't that annoying? Like, he sure is a chatterbox, and may be a little too into jesting, but he's interesting to hear. Nightmare may actually wonder if anyone's ever bothered to hear him, cuz once Ink noticed Nightmare wouldn't snap at him for talking more than what's adequate, it's like he'd never stop.

Sometimes, Nightmare talked back. A question, making Ink follow a topic when he forgot what he was talking about. Some words of his, to keep the conversation going. A rhythm of their own. Surprisingly... fun.

The day Nightmare noticed he spent more time thinking about Ink's smile than not was definitely NOT fun.

He didn't make their relationship to last. Part of his original plan always included making Dream discover it by himself, and to let Ink break without anyone to support them so he and his team would pick up the pieces and rebuild him to follow.

But the idea... He had never seen Ink cry. Not ever, even when in pain. Something inside him felt itself colder with the idea of subduing him into misery. Definitely a first for him.

Nightmare was so miserable. Of course, life has wronged him once again. But he was always the one that defied fate. He wouldn't let his wishes and desires get crushed against an... Unfavorable element. Even one he created himself.

No. Of course not.

Ink's happiness (and Ink himself, if he was... honest... No, he's not flustered with the idea. Anyways.) was just another goal. One just within his reach. What's a simple courtship against multiversal conquering? What's hiding actions, words and longing stares against crushing everyone's hopes and dreams?

He'd hide this until it wouldn't be a threat to him anymore. And once it stops doing so, he'll make sure to make Ink his... king consort... CONCENTRATE. Yes. Wicked stuff. Evil stuff. He definitely can do this.

[starillusion13]

KEEP IT A SECRET

Pairing: stepbrothers! Jeno and Jaemin x f!reader

W.C: 13k (I want them please)

Genre: SMUT, YANDERE, STEP-CEST

Warnings: possessive behavior, restraining hint, manhandling(?), pervert!nomin, dom!nomin, biting, tiny bit of blood, sucking, crying, a bit of pain during it, nipple play, clit and tit stimulation, oral( f. Rec), lot of lot of overstimulation( 😉), double penetration, praising and name calling, raw penetration( don’t do irl guyz💀)

Network: @k-vanity @cultofdionysusnet

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

MINORS LETS BE INNOCENT AND NOT INTERACT! Okay?🔞

*under the cue*

Stepbrothers are same as brothers, Right? Just you need to maintain a step away from them from being too close to them if you somehow feel uncomfortable or unwanted, afterall they are not related to you by blood. Yes, that’s what you have lectured yourself before coming to this grand house where you are sitting with bored eyes staring at the screen. You don’t even remember why you have come to the living room and sat there in first place but now regretting as to why you remained in that place instead of going to your room to find something more useful than facing the idiots who just entered through the big wooden door.

Your step-brothers. Maintain that step.

Since the first day, you came here after your beloved mother married her childhood best friend, your life is literally pathetic. Your parents never had that lovely little family couple relation in between them and you somehow hoped them to get separate and when you were in highschool, they finally parted their ways much to your liking. Somewhere, in the corner of your mind, you still missed that fatherly love and your mother did notice it as she also felt alone when seeing others being happy with their partners. After two months, her best-friend started coming to your house more often to check on both of you and your mother gladly welcomed him each and every time. Once, you eavesdropped on their conversation when coming back from school and then realized their life story.

Basically, they are those childhood sweethearts and had so many dreams to spend their life together. Unfortunate events led them to move apart and during those times, you mother was being married to your father and her lover went overseas for future plannings and under family's peer pressure, he also got married there. They didn’t have contact with each other until they again met at a fancy restaurant with their own little families. Somehow, they talked about their situation and accepted their fate. They again back to being friends. He somehow noticed that your mother was not happy in her life but what could he do when he was the one who left her to her miseries. When you were in primary school, her friend left for the states with his wife again and then again, she was never able to meet him. You don’t remember much about them from your childhood memories but when you met with your mother’s friend after your father left you, the memories flashes across your mind.

Never in your high school life, you ever thought of them getting married. You could see how she used to share every detail of her life with her friend and you were glad that she could talk about her problems to someone with whom she feels safe and most comfortable. That time, you also noticed that how her friend was meeting all alone with your mother instead of bringing his wife along, you didn’t think about it much but gradually you came to know that his wife was no more due to mishap. That was the main reason for them to reunite again and could find comfort within each other’s warmth. You were literally so happy for them, if they were more verbal to their family about their relationship then they could have lived a more blessed life since long ago but its okay, everything happens for a reason and maybe this reason could lead them to a better life. Eventually, after your completion of school, they brought up the topic about their marriage and surprisingly, you agreed with it instantly. You were happy to get a father who actually showed the fatherly love towards you and also you were thankful to him to love your mother so much.        

But maybe for you, two devils escaped from the hell that day. Girl, you didn’t know that the man who was building a paradise for you and your mother can also bring two devils of hell into that paradise. After marriage, when you three shifted to a different country, you came to know that your two lovely step-brothers are also shifting there to settle down with your family. First, you thought about getting two little brothers because you didn’t know in the first hand that he had child rather two sons and you hoped to see them but the next when you came to know about their age and they are handling all the business schedules and meetings of their father’s company, your head hit hard. Well they are the heirs of all your step-father’s company but now you are also part of it and you didn’t know it yet but the first introduction with your step-brothers and getting to know about the inheritance was not like how you expected.

“So, you are the pretty heir and the third inheritor of this huge property?”

“I am?....I don’t know about this.”

“Really? But dad has prepared every document for you and you are unaware of it? This is strange. If you are not here for the property then what the hell are you doing in my house?”

“Excuse me but this is my house as well. I am your sister so I should be here.”

Don’t forget you are just a step-sister.

“Interesting.”

A great physique wearing a white t-shirt complimenting each bump of the muscles and an eyebrow slit making his dark look more intimidating. His gaze was burning on your exposed skin and the aura radiating from him was so daring as well. That day, you knew that it was best to ignore the older one in that household because you feel so weak in front of that powerful presence around you. Somehow, you hoped for the other one to be a bit handful and friendly but unfortunately, it didn’t go like that. One day when your parents were out and only Jeno was there, chilling in the wide living area, you noticed it and made your way back to the garden family zone which is your favorite spot but not likely today. You just wanted to relax yourself in your room after having long classes in the university but you didn’t want to face your so called brother all alone in that mansion so until your parents were coming back, you opted to kill time in the garden. It was pretty much okay unless the other devil appeared in front of you disturbing your peaceful time.

“What’s a pretty baby doing here?”

This boy and his name calling.

“That’s none of your concern.”

“It is my concern when you are doing every possible stuff to ignore my brother. It hurts my feelings when you are avoiding that handsome brother of mine who can get every girl around here or anywhere even you…”

“What the hell? Just go away and let me relax.”

“Uh ah…NO. I cant let my one and only dear sister to be here outside in the late evening. Its getting dark and anything can happen when the surrounding falls black and its only you and me making the white spot.”

You could feel him leaning towards you slowly with each word falling from his mouth while kneeling in front of you to match your level sitting on a low rock seat. You pushed him when he fell back and balanced himself on his two hands, laughing at your flustered face which you were trying your best to hide from him.

“What type of bullshit you are saying? Get the fuck away Jaemin.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I will shout and tell that….that you are…you….I..I was..”

“Is my dear sister lost? Are you lost babygirl?”

His smirk is wide enough to fuel your anger more and your fist tight on your lap, nails digging in your palm, making the skin reddish all around. He stared at you for a while and stood up, dusting his pants while he could still feel the glares from you to which he had no effect rather he chuckled on the fact.

“What are you upto?”

“Nothing. Just go inside and don’t stay out. Jeno is just a human like you and me so he wont be feeding on you in the dinner.”

You frowned on his words and he smiled to your confused face and walked away. Did he just call himself and me at a same level? No way. I mean we are human but we both can't be same. He is that shitty human like his brother and the way Jeno always have a dark expression, you doubt that he might feed on you. Does your mother trust your new brothers so much that she left you alone with them? Stomping your feet, you walked into the house to find both of your brothers sitting on the sofa and laughing at their phone screen, maybe again watching some weird stuffs. You glanced towards the stairs and ran towards it when the not so lovely of your brother spoke up.

“What were you doing outside?”

“Didn’t Jaemin tell you that I don’t want to face you? Yes. I was avoiding you.”

You didn’t dare to look back to them, you were just hoping to escape the place that moment and lock yourself inside the room until your parents come back.

“And why?”

You didn’t speak anything but could feel both of their stares boring onto your back so you took some slow steps.

“I asked you something. Without entertaining my questions, you are again going away. Does our baby need some punishments to behave well?”

Hearing the last sentence, you ran to your room without caring what would happen next but you just made your strong opinion on not unlocking the door unless one of your parents come upstairs.

You are always been called out with endearments by Jaemin. He is the biggest flirt in the household. He might be the one with soft, playful and flirty nature but his intentions are always transparent and your parents appreciate his clinginess towards you. ‘Jaemin loves his sister so much. I am so glad they are getting along so well with each other.’

Well, only you know how that tease actually shows his brotherly love to you. He always has that intimidating lustful eyes following your every movement around the house and whenever you catch him for it, he would just simply give you his teasing smile and winks at you before walking away with smug look.

Whereas his brother Jeno, well you just know about him that however possible you need to avoid that individual because you cant read him like Jaemin. He always has that dark expression with clenched jaws and piercing eyes. When Jaemin’s stare feels like tickles on your skin like a winter warmth, Jeno’s eyes burn on your skin like a blazing sun in summer. The cold replies to your every question and whenever your parents are in front, he would watch you as if every mishap in the world is caused by you. Every reason is you for his life problems. You still don’t know whether he is happy with your presence or not and moreover it is okay for him to introduce you as his sister to everyone. Jaemin happily shows everyone that you belong to his family and Jeno just agree with him by nodding his head slightly but they never mentioned the actual relationship that you are their ‘stepsister’.

It's always ‘she is one of us’ or ‘she is our family’ for them.

“How was your Gym workouts my sons?”

“it was good mom.” Jaemin brightly smiled to his step-mom.

“Yeah it was.”

“Why are you so down Jeno? Are you tired?”

“He is just sulky mom. He is mad because he is not getting the appreciation he needs from his favorite person, you know.”

“Gym crush?”

“No… it’s-“

“Jaemin. You are going to shut up right now.”

 If Jeno’s glare could burn Jaemin then he would have turned into ashes that instant but maybe his sweats saved him and his laugh echoed throughout the dinning room. Your attention got averted towards the noise coming from the presence of three lovely beings conversing among themselves.

“Y/n. come and eat with us, you will be late for the outing.”

Your mother has called you many times to have the lunch because later this evening, you will be going out with your friends but before that you need to complete some assignments and your mother wont let you do so without you having the lunch on time.

“mom, told you that I’m not hungry. I will be in my room and if you need me just call me downstairs.”

Standing on your feet, you collected your ipad and phone from the sofa and made your way towards the stairs. The brothers shared a knowing look before speaking up and halting your steps.

“You are not leaving now.”

“Why is it your concern jeno?”

“This is our concern Y/n. You are our sister and skipping meals is not good for your health. Eat now. I will help with your assignments later so come here.”

“Jaemin you don’t have to.”

“Look. Your brothers are always taking care of you and this is so nice that he will also be helping you with your works.”

“But mom-“

“Y/n, don’t be stubborn.”

“Fine.”

As it had to be. You had your lunch with them, having some conversations from here and there. Your mother happily listened to your every word like usual but surprisingly your brothers were also interested in the topics. Even, Jeno stated some opinions regarding some issues and this is the first time, you felt grateful about his presence. He is not the type to have family time and moreover having conversations with any one of you other than his brother, Jaemin. Well, this other one is always a nosy one in everyone’s business so it’s natural to have him in the dining family times. During the whole lunch, you could feel two burning stares on your skin, your brothers stealing glances of you and your mother is always unaware of all these.

When going back to your room, you could feel someone is following you upstairs and you are well aware of the person, who it might be. Well, as he has promised earlier, he would definitely help you in your assignments. You didn’t mind him following but something about his stares, making you uncomfortable in your place.

Entering your room, you quickly head towards the table to gather all your required stuffs for the work while he made himself comfortable on the edge of your bed. His hands caressing the bedsheet and humming to himself with closed eyes.

“Where are you going anyways?”

You didn’t pick up his question as you are busy typing some texts in your group chat when you feel someone snatches your phone away from your grip and held it higher.

“What the hell? Give it back to me Jaemin. You are here to help me not to irritate me.”

“I was asking you a question but you just ignored me and was busy on this useless thing.”

“I was texting someone and I’m sorry that I didn’t hear you.”

He glanced to the phone in his hand, which was still raised above and squinting his eyes, he is trying to read the messages. You could see his raised eyebrows and tongue poking his cheeks.

“You are going out with all boys?”

“That’s not your issue.”

“Did mom allow you?”

“Oh gosh. Why are you asking so many questions? Are you going to help me now or not? If not then get the fuck out of my room.”

“What help do you need exactly?”

“huh?”

You are standing on your toes to match his level to get back your phone but your feet touched the floor on hearing his words. You should not feel like this but his tone is different than before and it’s a bit more seductive and you could feel him closing the distance between you both. You step back with every proceeding of his step towards you. You bumped on the chair in front of the desk and your hands grabbed the top of it tightly in the back, you are totally trapped. He leans forward and caged you, hands gripping the desk behind.

  “Wha…what..do you need?”

He leans to your ears and his hot breath fanning over it when he whispered.

“That’s really up to you. How do you need me?”

“I need…help…in my assignment.”

“yeah and?”

He stares at your eyes in a way as if he is trying to hipnotize you.

“and?”

“Answer the rest of the questions I have asked you. Be a good girl. Will you?”

He repeated his questions while caressing your cheeks and somehow you were leaning to his touch even when you know whatever you both are doing is wrong. This is not how a brother and sister treat each other.

“I am going out with my old friends who are in this town and they want to meet with me so I will be back late at night.”

He stares at you for a few moments as if he is processing your words. Suddenly, he comes near to your face to match your eye level, staring so deeply as if he could read your past life and can possess your soul anytime. You can feel his lips just a breath away from yours and this is the first time, you are so much close to your brother, well just a reminder step-brother. Tugging your hairs slowly behind your ears, his fingers sliding over your cheeks to feel every little detail of the texture, you closed your eyes on the impact. Your heart beat increasing with every passing second and you can feel him smiling at your current state. You are hoping to end this situation quickly like you can push him or just like any other time, you can just reply him back savagely but somehow your body not reacting to do any of this rather accepting him and letting him to have his ways with you. Your thoughts got interrupted when you could feel something warm on your lips. His lips. He kissed you. It was a quick kiss as if a dream which flickered in the daylight. He steps back and brushes his hair with a smug look as if he has achieved his thing which he desired for so long.

The room is quiet. Really quiet or maybe you are suddenly deaf to your surroundings. Your bedroom is quite big but still its suffocating you at the moment as if the walls are closing in and the daylight fading out, making you a completely abandoned soul in this lively household.

But your mind is screaming that YOUR STEPBROTHER HAS JUST KISSED YOU.

“Earth to Y/N.”

You were so distracted that you didn’t notice how your fingers are touching your lips as if you are judging whether those are real or fake or if it yours in the first place. Looking over to the person, you can see him already has arranged everything for your work and smirking at you, sitting on the bed. As if nothing happened just few seconds back.

“….Jaemin…why….”

“Don’t you need my help anymore? You know I can help you in every possible way but till then lets focus on this. Come here.”

How can you just go near him again after what happened earlier? But him pretending like this as if he didn’t kiss his sister few minutes earlier and now like a big brother offering his help for homework for his little sister. With slow steps, you went near the side of the bed to which he pats the space beside him and hesitantly, you sit there.

One and a half hour has passed with you being stuck with him in your room doing your assignment. Every moment was torturing you as if every minute was passing like an hour with him. His every lingering touch was igniting a spike inside you like while him showing you how to solve a math problem and while peeking into the laptop, his palm resting over your exposed leg, your mind was focusing on everything except your work. You were trying your best to divert your mind from all the unholy thoughts that were going across your mind every second, but nothing was helping when his presence was so close to you.

“I know what you are thinking right now but only if you didn’t have to go out with your friends then we could have done something you know.”

“What?”

“You know what I meant?”

You just want to punch off that smirk from his face but you don’t want to create more memories of spending time with him for so long for the first time in your room so you just have to patiently handle the situation right now.

“Jaemin, the thing for which you were here is done so now you can go out because I have to get ready. Its not like you can help me in that.”

“I can.”

“Very funny.”

His smug look changes into a dark expression and you swear, him in this contrast look is something which scares you off the most even scarier than Jeno. That one has always that grumpy and intense look so you are used to it but when this flirt becomes like him, a shiver runs down your spine. His soft expressions always hide those bulky muscled body with veins on display on hands and necks. You never had a proper look of their abs but you hope to see the effects of the gym though. Like whenever, they swipe their hairs after having fun in the swimming pool, you would always stare at their muscles and face but you just divert your eyes whenever the abs come in display to you. Your fault to miss the free shows.

“Nothing is funny here baby. As I said I would help you means I will definitely. Now show me what you got baby.”

“Jaemin-“

He walks over to your closet and before you could protest, he slides open the door standing there with raised eyebrows and smiling face.

“You have quite a good collection of……everything.”

You hurriedly go in front of him and shut it close on his smirking face, eyes scanning your body to which you just glared him back. But well Jaemin didn’t budge to it, he goes to the next door and now it revealed the actual dress section not your lingerie and undies.

You observed his actions keenly to understand his motives. You can see him having his whole focus into your closet and you walk over to the bed to sit on it and watch him. Is it because of the kiss or for spending so much time with him that suddenly you are finding his whole existence as a blessing in your life?

His pretty eyelash making his eyes more attractive when they are focused on anything. His smooth skin with attractive nose and lips with that pretty smile. Did I just mention his smile pretty? Well not gonna lie however that smile irritates you but you find it really cute, a healing one. Your university friends have mentioned about your stepbrothers being so hot and handsome and they even pointed out that if they were in your place, they might have ended up dating them instead of maintaining the brother and sister image. But you are sure that those things are never going to happen between you and your stepbrothers maybe because you might find them attractive but its not like that’s the same from their end. Right?

“Take this. Give me a show and let me see in which one you will look the prettiest.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“100 percent.”

He is standing in front of you with few clothes in his hands and as far as you can see those are some skirt, shirt, tees, one denim jeans and two dresses. The way he is grinning at you as if he is an elementary school boy who got his long-awaited present. Wait. He got his present. What the hell I am thinking?

“There is no need of this. I can choose myself.”

Putting the clothes beside you, he holds your hand to pull you up on your feet and pats your cheek with both the hands, still having that smile on his face.

“Be a good girl or you wont be going out today. Alright?”

“You cant be serious.”

“Till the time I’m being nice to you just go with it or you have to regret it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I will not look while you are changing so after you have dressed yourself in one, ask me to turn around.”

“But-“

“What did I just say?”

“…okay…”

He went over to your desk and sat on the chair with one hand leaning over the desk and other hand handling the phone, keeping himself busy. You kept standing near the other side of the bed still staring at the clothes lying over your bed. Am I really going to do this? What did he mean by being nice and you have to regret? Shaking off your thoughts, you cautiously dressed yourself in the skirt and a matching shirt he has selected with it. His every little movement was making you freeze in your spot. Changing your dress in presence of your step-brother in closed room is really challenging even more when he kissed you earlier. You look over to the mirror and damn, he has a good sense in fashion. You smiled to your outfit and then remember that you have to ask him to turn around.

Gulping, you call out his name, “jae-Jaemin…I’m ready.”

He quickly swivels on the chair to face you and eyes directly made a strong contact with yours before scanning your outfit. His furrowed eyebrows and thoughtful expression making you to adjust your dress properly.

“No. Change it. Keep the shirt on but wear the jeans.”

Before turning around, he winks at you. Your glare was digging hole in the back of his head but it was useless as he would not budge with that little thing.

“Stop glaring at me and change. Do it fast. I’m sure, you don’t want to be late or like miss out today’s outing.”

He is still turning his back to you but you could feel his smug look mocking at you. Kicking your feet, you quickly changed your skirt with the pant. The previous look was giving off a sexy and cute look altogether but this one is suggesting tumblr fashion. Calling out his name again, he stands up and comes near to you. Your heart starts racing with the thought what happened when last time he came to you like this.

“stop there.”

But he didn’t.

“I said stop. Don’t come near to me.”

He again ignored and when he is just a feet away. His hand goes to the button of your pant. Your eyes go wide and hands reacting fast enough to hold his but he was faster than you. Swatting your hands away, he pulls the zipper up.

“What? Did you think I am going to do something to you? Aha not like this. Or maybe you thought…..” He leans to your ears, “ I will kiss you again.”

He steps back and precisely takes a look of your form. Nodding to himself, he pats your head and your confused expression made a chuckle out of him.

“That’s looking good on you. You are going out with all boys and I cant trust them. Maybe they can be your old friends but without having contacts with them for so long and you don’t know how would they behave later so better be like this.”

“It’s not like for them I need to dress up accordingly.”

“of course not. You can wear anything when either me and Jeno is there with you but not when you will be all alone.”

“Why is it okay with both of you?”

“I can fight with others for you. Jeno will do the same.”

Going over to the dressing table, you pulled out all the make up kit while talking with him and him admiring your every features as if you are his treasured person. Maybe you are.

“Jeno would rather sell me to them rather than fighting for me.’

“You are wrong there baby. Absolutely wrong. He would burn the world for you but never let any harm on you.”

“Anyways I will leave you here. Do your makeup and have fun tonight but not too much. Remember about what I have told you.”

You keep on staring at your reflection on the mirror with shiny edges after he shuts the door behind, leaving your room. His words clouding all over your mind and his actions playing repeatedly making you groan in frustration. All these types of situations are not usual between the relationship between a brother and a sister and whatever is going to happen later, you must face it with your confidence and true feelings. Patting your cheeks to get yourself off these overthinking and resume your makeup. It took almost one hour when you finished your makeup, its not like you were doing any heavy look but the problem was you were continuously getting distracted when the thought of Jaemin playing across your mind. Glancing at the clock, its almost six in the evening and you should probably leave right now to be there on time. Collecting all the necessary stuffs, you made your way downstairs. Adjusting your smart watch, a message popped up that few have arrived on the location and you need to be there soon.

“Are you ready? Let’s go.”

“Hm….wait!...you? Where are you going?”

“To the place you are going.”

“Why?”

Rolling his eyes, he slides his jacket and fishes his phone inside the pocket of his jeans. Frowning you, still staring at him as if why he is tagging along with you to the place. Before exiting the house, he finds you still standing at the same spot and staring back at him, he rolls his eyes before stepping towards you. Your panic arises watching him coming towards you, you tried to think some possible attempts to escape it but before you could do anything, he catches your wrist and drags you towards the door.

“Jeno…What are you doing?”

“Stop being dramatic. I’m just taking you to your friends.”

“I can go on my own. You… you don’t have to…take me there.”

Reaching near the garage, he takes you to his car. The person whose presence, you try to avoid with every possibility and now you will be riding a car with him. Jaemin has given you ride to and from college a lot of times and that’s how some thought that he was your boyfriend and even Jaemin always has that smug expression on hearing those comments. But you never went anywhere alone with Jeno and if your heart could burst today, it should by now because of the events unfolding after the lunch. Jeno is texting on his phone and your eyes following how his clenched jaws moving with veins popping at the side profile, on his neck disappearing behind the collar of the jackets. He caught you staring at him and that smirk made an appearance on his attractive and sharp face. But. Wait, he is really attractive, a lot more handsome than you have thought of him before. Any girl should drool over this man if he ever proposes them. Maybe you too if he was not your brother, well step-brother.

With slow steps as if he is the predator cornering his prey. Why suddenly they are like this today? I should probably stay at my friend’s house tonight. You try to open the door of the car but to your dismay, it got stuck, you shake it aggressively but it didn’t budge.

“It will break like this. It’s locked sweetheart.”

“Oh…”

You have not turned around but could feel his presence just behind you. Your back flushed against his front. His hands resting against the car, caging you in between, lips near your ears, hot breath tickling your lobe, goosebumps spreading all over your skin.

“Why you always ignoring me?”

You remained quiet. Fingers tangling with the strap of the sling bag in nervousness and his strong smell of cologne hitting your nose clouding your every attempt to push him and run away as you are going to be late.

His one hand grabs your jaw to turn your face to meet your eyes. His eyes blinks to your lips before raising up to meet yours which is covered with glittery makeup.

“I asked you something. You should answer it right?”

You nod to his raised eyebrows.

“Words sweetheart.”

His husky voice and him so close to your body is enough to make you weak in your knees.

“I am not ignoring you.”

“Don’t lie. I don’t like when you lie. Its very obvious how you always leave the scene whenever I come near you but still you are okay with Jaemin.”

“Jeno…I…I’m late…I need to go.”

“Dammit. Look, you are trying to avoid me again. You always have these excuses to avoid me. Why? Am I worse than jaemin?”

He turns you around, pushing you against the car, still caging you between his arms. Eyes daringly staring at you, veins more visible on his forehead and around his throat and neck. You got the chance to have a look of this handsome face so closely for the first time and you are already getting attracted to it even when your consciousness is screaming ‘he is your stepbrother.’

“He might be always sweet to you and shows his flirty side to you but mark my words, he is worse than me. You don’t know what he can do if he ever gets a chance to get you alone and fuck you. His mischievous innocent smile hides all his nasty thoughts and his devil side from you.”

“What are you saying jeno?”

“Don’t pretend that you don’t know how you always tease us when roaming around the house like a little slut you are. It’s good that Jaemin has decided your outfit otherwise who knows what you have worn to meet all those shitheads.”

“Excuse me, they are my friends.”

He steps back and pulls you towards him making you bump into his front. The sound from the car, indicating the unlock of your ride made a surprised squeal from you. Pulling the door open, he offers you to enter his car.

“Have a seat princess. We have a little way to go.”

Without wasting any time, you hurriedly go inside it and shut the door to which he chuckles on your little attempt. He strikingly walks towards the other side to enter the driver seat and as soon as he enters, he brushes his hair, looking in the rear mirror. Gulping, you cast a glance to him and well you find it really attractive whenever one of your brothers do this. Afterall both of them are just walking models.

As soon as you both make an eye contact in the mirror, he smirks and you look out of the window to avoid his gaze.

“How much you try, You are stuck with me inside this little space.”

Leaning towards you, supporting his hand on your seat and the other on the steering wheel.

“You have nowhere to go except appreciating my presence.”

“Jeno…what are you doing?”

He pulls the seat belt before you protest to his further attempts to do anything, fixing it properly, he sighs and smirks at you. As he goes back to do the same for him, you release a heavy breath to the thought that nothing happened like Jaemin.

You remained quiet the whole ride and did your best to keep yourself busy on the phone to avoid any conversation with him. But Jeno is not the one to keep it this way as finally he got the chance with you and that’s also all alone in his car. He kept you asking few questions and when you denied to reply him back, everytime he slides his hands up and down your thighs.

“Don’t be a bad girl, princess.”

The ride to your destination was quick as you all were going to meet in the nearest mall to hangout and have fun with catching up all the gossips you are missing out. He didn’t park the car because he has to go to the office to meet his dad after dropping you off at your place.

“Thanks…thanks for the ride…Jeno.”

Your hands reach over to the handle to push the door open but before the impact, he grips your wrist and pinned you down to your seat. Your eyes go wide when he is almost hovering on top of you, his eyes reading all your little changes in the expression.

“I can’t lose to Jaemin here.”

And with that, he crashes his lips onto yours. The afternoon kiss with the other one was a quick and soft but this one is rough but like he has the whole time of the universe for himself and slowly he is sucking your whole soul. You didn’t kiss back but you push him. Taking heavy breathes, you take a look yourself in the mirror but he grips your jaw and turns to face him. His other hand placing your hairs properly and then wipes the smudged lipstick stain from your face and rubbing it on his lips

“Now it’s perfect.”

He gives you his eye smile. Cute.

As soon as he turns around to open his door, you quickly got out of the car before he could speak up anything more.

The whole evening went with having a lot of delicious foods and having fun at karaoke and arcades. Well, you caught up on lots of funny rumors of your old classmates, many dating scandals and other spicy gossips. It was really great to catch up with your old friends. You were distracted from the thought of your brothers most of the time but everytime a scene comes across your mind, suddenly you would become quiet.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Of course.”

You all cant understand because it’s not like you are getting kissed by your brothers everyday. Also, by both of them on the same day.

And you just know, you have to keep all these as secrets from the parents because if they find out about it, you don’t know what would happen after and again you don’t want to ruin your mother’s happy life.

When it was already late at night, you texted your mother that you would be home soon and one of your friends might drop you off to your house and she agreed with it. Your father also texted you to be safe on your way. But two people were not happy with you being out for so long. You had numerous calls from your brothers but you just kept it in silent. It’s not like you haven’t received once. You had answered few of their calls and explained about your ride back home but they were stuck with one sentence.

“We will pick you up. Just tell us when we need to pick you up.”

But you dared to ignore their protest and still asked one of friends to drop you off at home.

Everyone waved off their goodbyes and it’s you and Jongho while going towards the parking area.

“it was really nice to see you after so many months.”

“Same here. I didn’t know that nerdy gummy bear is now a great man.”

“Well I am now and I can protect you as well.”

“Thank you.” You both giggled on his words.

“There wont be a need for you to protect her.”

Why? Cant atleast the night end peacefully? You both turned around to the voice and Jongho frown to see two unfamiliar faces glaring back at him.

“Who are you? Y/N, do you know them?”

“She is not likely to be answerable to your every question when we are here you know.”

And that sassy voice made his appearance out from the dark space of the parking lot. Hands folded in front and eyes sending daggers to your friend.

“Hello there mister. Myself Jaemin. A lot more handsome and sexy person than you.”

Before Jongho could protest anything, Jaemin grip your wrist and start dragging you towards the car where you could already see someone sitting in the driver’s space. He has not come alone. That means Jeno is also there. Turning your face, you send a reassuring smile that you are fine and you waved him goodbye and told him to have a safe ride back home. Unlike you.

“Jaemin, leave my hand. I can walk.”

He ignores your every word and proceeds to walk towards the car. He harshly opens the passenger seat door and pushes you inside. Without any complaint, you swiftly go inside and he shuts the door. He goes in the backseat when your focus falls on Jeno’s hand gripping the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white and veins popping attractively on his arms, he is not wearing the jacket from previously and shirt sleeves are folded.

“Why didn’t you pick up the calls?”

“I told you before that I could have gone back with Jongho.”

Jaemin interjects.

“so? Haven’t I told you before that I don’t trust your friends?”

“That’s your problem. I trust my friends.”

“You-“

Jeno darkly chuckles. “Jaemin, let it go. She doesn’t know that we know how to tame brats like her.”

“What?”

“Ah sure Jeno.”

That’s how you were bombarded with lot of questions during the ride back home about your whole day.

The following next week, you were doing your best to avoid being near to them. But they have the total opposite thing on their mind. Their motive was to follow you like the lost puppy the whole day. The worst thing was that they would make some worst excuses sometimes and not let you to leave for any kind of parties and meet ups. It was okay to go out for any day-out fun but not night. Surprisingly, your parents were also agreeing with them and appreciating the fact that how they were showing their concern for their only sister.

If only they knew, how they actually treat you.

With the passing of days, you can feel their eyes are more lingering on your body. Their intense pervert gaze to which you glare them back but one either blinks at you or the other smirks at you confidently. You were nothing less as you would also check them out whenever they are unaware of your presence and not to lie, you are getting attracted to them more with every passing time, you are getting more proper close up look of their bare face with raw and groggy voice each morning and sometimes when you come across with each other during midnight.

And then this day when suddenly, your parents have to leave for a vacation business trip for a couple of months and that means. THAT MEANS YOU WILL BE ALONE WITH YOUR BROTHERS THE WHOLE DAY. EVERY DAY. You begged your mother to take you with her but she waved you off telling how childish and stupid you sound like. You almost spilled out the actual reason but regained your composure to keep the secret.

So you made a plan to spend few days at your friends house and maybe you should plan out some more hangouts so you don’t have to face your brothers. And that’s how, you are making your way out of the house to meet your dearest friend but maybe that’s not how smooth your life is meant to be.

“Where do you think you are going?”

Only one more step and you would have been out of the house but not today. Gulping, you clutched the door handle tightly in your fist and turned around to face the owner of the voice. It’s not like the person is anyhow unfamiliar to you or someone you are scared of. Well, yeah the person who you want to avoid rather you should unless you want to be in a big trouble. Turning around on your heel, you kept your gaze on the floor, suddenly finding it the most beautiful and appreciable thing in your life. You could feel the approaching footsteps but not daring to look up because why will you when you are damn aware of the person before you. Your panic state didn’t go unnoticed by the approaching person. Now, you could smell the cologne of the man and the close proximity between you two was making your mind scream loudly inside. Two fingers brushing your cheeks sliding down to your chin and grabbed it, forcing you to look up. Due to the sudden impact, you closed your eyes, still could hear the chuckle left from his lips. Even when your eyes are closed, you could still feel the well built muscular body towering over you. Another hand brushed your hairs and tugged them behind your eyes. Your heart racing and mind screaming but you just wanted to run away from the current situation.

“Open your eyes baby.”

No. Please let me go out. You were mentally begging him to let you go but nothing was coming out of your throat and so you just gulped the lump. Not reacting to his words, he gripped your jaw tightly and you could feel his breath fanning over your lips. You tried to bend backwards but his other hand placed on your lower back pulled you closer towards him.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? Open your eyes. Let me see the pretty eyes of my baby.”

His voice was a lot more dominative than before and you didn’t want to make him mad so you slowly parted your eyelids. Eyes couldn’t focus on his face due to the fact that you were closing them so tightly previously and also this man being so close to you that lights couldn’t make up the image properly for your eyes. Flattering your eyelashes, you were then staring to those attractively seductive eyes as it could hipnotiza you. Anyone could have felt weak for these eyes and him in such situation including you but not when he being your brother. Well, correctly stepbrother. You were damn aware of the treatment that a step brother should have for his little sister but in your case, nothing was near to that fact check. You were literally living with two damn tease who constantly stir up every situation to flirting and teasing.

“Did you ask us before leaving?”

“I- I was just going to tell you.”

“Really? It doesn’t look like that. It was as if you were going somewhere else to avoid us tonight. Is there any reason?”

You were trying to voice out some words but the way his fingers were brushing over your lower lips. Oh gosh! It’s not helping your condition.

“Answer him.”

Okay! Time to leave now. The only thing I have to do is to push the man in front of me and quickly run out of the door before the other one can descend the stairs. Eyes dancing on their forms, mentally you counted to three and you pushed him. He got startled due to your sudden action but was quick to catch your hands.

“Step one more. You will regret it later so much.”

“Someone is being a stubborn today, you know.”

“Where was she going Jaemin?”

You could see him smirking on his brother’s question before replying to him, he winked at you with lips sending a flying kiss to you. The biggest tease in the household. You glared at him and when you looked at the other one, he was already glaring at you darkly with clenched jaw. But you were getting distracted how his biceps were well reflected under the bright lights because of his black sleeveless tee.

“I was asking her that before you made your entry on our private time. Jeno got no jam.”

“Shut up Jaemin. You are literally standing at the entrance in a massive hall and saying private time.”

“But there is no one around.”

“I am here. Well, getting back to her. It’s past curfew time and where is she going even all dolled up.”

Both of them expecting an answer from you, waiting for your reply but you chose to remain quiet. You tried to wiggle your hand out of his grip but he held it tighter and Jeno was satisfied with his brother’s act. You stared at the older one who had already seated himself comfortably on the sofa and staring back at you both, gesturing his brother to pull you towards him.

“I was just going somewhere.”

“Where?” Jeno asked with a lot more husky voice.

“T-to to meet someone.”

“Now?” Jaemin with a frown on his face turned towards you.

“Yeah….”

“Who?”

You looked towards Jeno before thinking twice as it would be safe to tell them or not but you chose death.

“My boyfriend.”

“Since when do you have one?”

“We are just going to meet today to get along with each other so he invited me to his house for a sleepover. He is my old friend.”

“And you thought without telling us, it would be fine for you to just sneak out of the house and have fun.”

“No Jeno look I-“

You didn’t notice when Jaemin went behind and wrapped his arms around you to hold you flushed to him. His nose snuggling into your wavy locks on your shoulder and neck.

Whispering ‘baby’ ‘pretty’ ‘princess’ in your ears, breathe tingling over. But the next thing he whispered made your eyes went wide.

“Tell him you can’t make it today.”

Jeno read your actions precisely and noticing how you pressed your legs together, his brother’s every little action was getting a reaction out from you. Honestly, he was enjoying the view more than he could describe but the moment your eyes went wide, the corner of his lips rose on knowing what was the possible reason behind that. Moreover, he found everything cute.

“Do it. Whatever he is telling you, work it.”

“No no I can’t.” Jaemin’s grip was strong and the way both of them hit the Gym, you were well aware that you couldn’t stand any chance in front of them.

“You can do this but you can’t go out.”

“Please.”

“Call him yourself or I’m going to do it. What do you want?”

Snatching your purse from the hand, he hurriedly rummages into it to find your phone. Found it, unlocking the phone, he went through all your contacts and text messages until he found out your precious friend. How come he knows my password?

Dialing the number, he kept the phone in front of you with speaker on. You could see your reflection with your stepbrother on that tiny screen. Suddenly the screen turned on, and someone spoke from the other side.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Jongho….”

Even when you were talking with your friend, you made a straight eye contact with those daring eyes of jeno in front of you holding your phone. Jaemin was still in his world, inhaling your body scent as if you were a drug that he was missing out all these days. Your voice cracked when you felt him leaving kisses over your exposed shoulder.

“When are you coming Y/N?”

Before you could reply, jeno mouthed you to say what they wanted to hear from you. He raised his eyebrows when you remained quiet.

“Sorry but I don’t think ......I can go today.”

“What happened? Is everything alright? Do I need to come over for help?”

“No no it’s just mild headache. You don’t have to worry much.”

Jeno came closer to you and tracing his fingers through your face before pressing them on your lips. You averted your eyes away.

Jaemin whispered in between biting your earlobe, “eyes on him baby.”

You somehow managed to do so until the third voice interrupted.

“Please take care and let me know if you need something.”

You replied with a low ‘hmm’ before he cut the line and tossing the phone on the sofa.

“Now leave me. Let me go.”

“Now where are you planning to go? Didn’t Jeno said earlier it’s already past curfew time?”

“Both of you have already ruined my night. Now Atleast let me go to my room. So, move!”

Both of them chuckled on your reply and you creased your eyebrows in confusion, wiggling under their hold and gaze. Finding your actions cute, they started laughing.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You said you can’t make it tonight so let us make that excuse valid. Right Jaemin?”

“Of course, Jeno.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can do this all night baby, Make a wish.” Jaemin licked and whispered in your ears, biting the earlobe before retreating his mouth.

Jeno leaned down to match your eye level.

“Let’s keep it a secret before you can unfold what’s coming in your way.”

“no. look. Jeno…Jaemin…I- I…”

“What?”

“baby…just follow us and you will love it for sure.”

You know whatever is going to happen is something that should not been like this but the way your body is already turned on is basically denying your thoughts to stop everything right on the spot. You followed them to their game room, that’s the only common room they share whenever they have game nights with their friends. You haven’t entered this room anytime before and exploring everything new today is really exciting you. Exploring their new self will be lot more exciting to you.

As soon as you and Jaemin entered the room, Jeno shut the door behind and that’s how you know, you have to block every other thoughts which screaming to you to back off but yet here you are challenging their offer. Well not offer but you want to see how far they can go. Are you so irresistible to them?

Jaemin took you to the middle of the room, throwing your purse away and cupping your face and neck with both of his hands and pulls you closer. Eyes scanning every detail of your face, admiring your beauty even when he sees you everyday but not like this when turned on and your body radiating heat on his bare palm. With few blinks of his eyes, he closes the distance between your lips. Well, that soft human is nowhere to be found but a hungry demon feasting on his last meal as the way his teeth sucking your lips. Teeth clashing with each other, hands gripping tightly on your neck leaving marks but you are not protesting against rather you accept the doing and kissing him back. You can feel a different set of handles fondling with your dress back zipper and within few seconds, the zip goes down, the dress still hanging on your body but hands snaking from behind around your waist.

You part your lips from Jaemin to take breath when jeno speak from behind you, face snuggling into your shoulders and collar bone, inhaling your scent.

“Can I?”

You don’t even know what he’s asking with the groan lacing with the question, yet you nod in compliance. Jaemin averts your attention towards him by turning your face in his hands, nose nudging against yours before he kisses you. His lips are soft and warm, and you’re genuinely enjoying  how excellent he is at kissing. You again got lost in him devouring you, hands around his neck as to bring him closer.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been kissing for, only until Jeno tugs on your hair and pulls you out of your trance. You whimper when you’re parted from Jaemin, who smirks at the noise, hands entangled with yours.

“Don’t be a jerk right now, Jaemin” Jeno growls, pulling your back to his front as he moves to your neck. You moan when his tongue licks a juicy stripe up your neck, hands roaming around your body, the heated body coming in contact with the cold air of the room making your whole body shiver under their warm touch. Jeno tugging your dress upwards, leaving your thighs bare and exposed to Jaemin whose eyes following every movement the dress is revealing more inch of your skin from underneath.

Jeno kisses you hungrily like a beast. Jaemin’s kiss was intense but this kiss is everything but soft. His grip on you and kiss, both are rough. He is holding you as if a slight loose in the grip will make you fade away and the same goes for the kiss. He doesn’t bite you rough but little gently, yet making you bleed slightly. Your whine and moans to his actions are like musics to his ears.

“Ah, you’re so fucking perfect,” Jeno hisses, fingers inching closer to your core. “Make you whimper under me all night and can listen to your moans all night.”

“I know we have all night and I can see her like this for the rest,” you hear Jaemin with his sassy voice. “But I want to have my donut with the jam in the middle.”

You were so distracted with Jeno attached to your neck and one hand playing with your clothed breasts that you didn’t notice his other hand slides your panty enough to get a proper access to your core and dips a finger inside which let out a loud moan from inside your throat. Both of them smirk in satisfaction.

Before he can slides a second finger in, Jaemin bent down to lace his mouth with your other left out breast. He pulls the dress down to free it from the cover and quickly takes the nipple between his teeth, sucking and pulling it softly but enough to make you whimper to the effect. You know you should not enjoy this whole thing but yet here you are feeling yourself floating in cloud 9.

“She feels good, her soft skin, her seductive scent is driving me crazy” Jeno speak in a low tone still audible to the whole room, lips trailing kisses all over your neck, shoulders and collarbone, biting in between, ripping soft screams and sobs out of you. “What do you think we should do, Jaemin ?”

“Everything,” he chuckles, tongue flicking over your nipple and other nipple being rolled around between the fingers of Jeno, tugging it slightly. “I want to have her in every way I have dreamed and thought every second whenever she walks around the house in tees without any bra.”

You fail to register his words as Jeno increase his pace inside you, fingers pumping in and out of your pussy along with the tortures going on to your nipples.

“Get her on the bed,” Jeno says. “I want her to see breaking down under me and let’s see how she will escape me like other days.”

Jaemin pulls you away from Jeno just to push you against the bed. You whine on losing contact in your heated mound. Your messed up body hits the well knitted soft bedsheet, surrounded by all the neon lights to create a gaming environment but today’s game is whole lot different from other days. It’s the game you have wanted to play with them. Always.

You feel a tap on your cheek and you glance up to see Jaemin sitting beside you, smiling with eyes filled with lust. His fingers brush your lips, “no matter how long I kiss you, I won’t get enough of you.”

You are distracted with the angel sitting beside you whose deeds are totally of a devil, your eyes following how he pecks your nose before attaching his mouth to your nipples and to the effect, you close your eyes tightly, feeling the moment intently.

You feel someone slide your panty down your legs but still keeping your heels on and dress fondled over your stomach. You feel harsh slap against your pussy and then when you look down to see Jeno eyeing your core hungrily and his look is enough to make you wet more, he eyes your arousal leaking out of you, groaning with the scene. Your attempt to close your legs got stuck when he holds tightly the thighs apart and darkly looks at you.

“Be a good girl for me, princess.”

You nod and grips the bedsheet and other hand in Jaemin’s hair , tugging them extracting groans of pain but him not stopping you from doing it.

“Shit!” Jeno curses when he licks a long stripe of your arousal and your back arches, pushing the chest to Jaemin’s mouth. He has that smug look on his face to have you like this and knows well how his brother is making you feel good. “you taste so heavenly, baby.”

Before you can register the words, Jeno again attaches his mouth to your heat and sucks it harshly, fingers digging into your skin leaving marks making it too obvious for others to know how you got those bruises. The abuse on your tits and mound is taking to your climax slowly. You can feel the coil tightening inside your stomach and Jaemin could feel it with your body movements

“My baby, you are mine,” Jaemin praising you continuously but the way he is constantly biting uour nipples and leaving marks all over the chest and throat is really contrasting his sweet voice. “Doing so good for us.”

‘How can that mouth do two opposite things together.”

You see white when Jeno wraps his mouth around your clit, sucking harshly at the nub. You hit the climax immediately as soon as he presses his palm above the stomach and Jaemin pulls your both the nipples. Jeno licks every last drop of your cum but didn’t intend to end the abuse.

“Stop it…jeno…”

Even when you cum, he didn’t stop but keep on licking the clit, overstimulating you and to which your back arches and the view is heavenly for Jaemin.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.”Jaemin hisses, admiring your chest going up and down with heavy breathings and pained expression due to overstimulation. While keeping his eyes on you, he slowly unbuckles his belt, pushing the pants and boxers down to expose his hard and thick cock. He smiles at your glazed eyes, pumping himself a few times and you know that this smile is hiding all the possible monstrous activities.

Jeno pushes two of his fingers and you nearly scream out his name with the feeling of his tongue still fucking you and in addition of his two fingers scissoring inside you.

Jaemin moves down his hand to your clit and starts to rub the bud. This is too much for you. His actions are going parallel with one hand rubbing the clit and other one rubbing the nipple in the same pace. The second orgasm with two of them abusing you came too fast and your whole body is covered with sweats and exhaustion but this is the only beginning.

Jaemin pushes Jeno aside while the latter laughed to see his brother’s impatience and well he would have been the same if it was otherwise.

“I want to taste you too but let me first fuck you and feel this tiny hole around my cock.”

“Are you going to wear a condom?” You ask in a weak tone.

Jaemin laughs. “We don’t need one, baby.”

“What?”

You both moan together when he pushes himself inside, stretching your cunt with his cock. You cry out at the brief feeling of pain before you feel Jeno placing his lips over yours. Jaemin’s deep voice is making you clench around his cock. Feeling it, he grabs your ass tightly, leaving red fingerprints.

“Doing so well for us, princess,” he murmurs against your mouth. “Such a pretty angel for me.”

“Not only yours but….but mine too.”

“Did I complain when you called her your baby so just shut up and fuck her.”

Pain shifts into pleasure as Jaemin presses his palm above your clit, fingers circling around the nub. You can feel his cock is driving up into your stomach and hitting it with the force of his thrusts. He continues to maintain his pace till he hits the desired spot to make you scream out his name.

“JAEMIN!”

“That’s it,” he chuckles, slapping your pussy and cock hitting into that spot over and over.

You feel Jeno’s breath ghosting over your ear. Jeno licking your ears and groaning while playing with your nipples letting the familiar neediness building inside you all over again and the coil might explode before reaching the climax. The licking sound into your ears and the wet sounds coming from the down where Jaemin hitting your g-spot is enough to make you feel like the most special and enchanted person to them. Well it’s not only your thought but you are like a dreamy angel to them while all spread out like this on the bed, everything exposed and on display only for them to devour on it.

You approach your third orgasm of the day when Jaemin hits the spot with a deep thrust , your body is overwhelmed as both of them giving all of their attention to you as you are like a goddess spread in front of them to whom they got access after so many attempts.Jaemin groans loudly when you clench around him, he soon reached his high and bends down to peck your lips still buried inside you. You nearly got pass out by the intensity of your orgasm and the feeling of him emptying his seeds inside of you. You’ve never had sex before with someone and your stepbrothers being your first is something so different to imagine. Jaemin feeling you up and without any protection is clouding your mind with different feelings but got interrupted by him.

“Shit,” Jaemin curses before smiling up at you and looking towards his brother . “Her pussy is so fucking good. I want to have her again.”

Your blissed out expression while whimpering his name and shaking uncontrollably under him when he was fucking you is still replaying in his mind. Your bouncing tits when he was pushing inside you with his faster pace and the pleasure filled face when you approached your high when he hit your sweet spot was enough for him.It is driving him crazy and not letting you go away from him and wanting to fuck you to the brim until you pass out like this.

“Let me have my turn now, Jaemin,” Jeno with annoyance in his voice reminds his brother, but he’s immediately shoved away by Jaemin.

“No please let me have one more round.”

“You had your fun. It’s my turn now. Move before I just lock you out of the room.”

“Fine,” Jaemin rolls his eyes before pulling himself out and getting off the bed to change the position with Jeno and you find Jeno again between your legs.

“I’ll take her ass later and you can’t deny it then.”

“Fine.”

“W-What?” You stammer. Later? What do they mean?

“Don’t worry, baby,” Jeno assures you. “It’ll feel good, you just have to trust us. You can be a good girl for us tonight right?”

“How can I trust?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know but my brothers fucking me already breaking the trust of us being siblings-“

“Shut up. We are not siblings. Only me and Jaemin are legal brothers and you are our step sister not our own blood. But ours. You are ours.”

“Yes Jeno is right. No one can take you away from us. Even if people point out us being step siblings, I will fucking cut their hands down.”

Jeno smirks, “maybe burn them alive.”

They leave you no room to protest as Jeno turns you around, face hitting the pillow and his strong grip pulling your ass up, aligning with the tip of his cock. When he freed himself from the boxers, you could feel the pain spread all over your body as you have never seen such big cock, it’s thicker than Jaemin’s and you don’t think it can fit inside you, letting aside in your ass where you never had slid a single finger and rest alone this cock.

“I-I don’t think I’m r-ready for this-“

“You are,” Jeno soothes. “Don’t worry.”

“No no please. I’m already tired and this is…I don’t think I can…stop it Jeno.”

You barely get a chance to stop him as Jaemin pinned your hand to your back which were trying to reach jeno to make him stop. Jaemin kisses your head to soothe you and ease the tensed body.

“Relax. Relax your muscles. You are perfectly made for us and by now we know what your body can take and upto how much.”

“Jaemin, first make her feel at ease or it will hurt her in a worst way.”

Jaemin hums softly in your ear. “You’re going to feel so good, my baby.”

You nod with eyes tight closed and Jaemin smiles while parting your head. Jeno spread and covered the hole with lube before sliding himself into you. As soon as Jeno entered to your back, you could feel a tear slide down your face when Jaemin wipes it off with a finger.

“You’re so fucking tight,”Jeno groans and his groggy voice letting out a moan from you. “Her ass is clenching around me and also sucking me in slowly..”

Your moans getting lost into the pillow and muffled noises could be heard when he is pounding inside you. Jaemin let go off tour hands when he feels you would no longer protest and the hands fell on both of your sides weakly. Jeno noticed it and a proud smile with a self satisfaction blooms inside him. They have totally wreck you under them inside their closed room. Your exhaustion visible on your face and seeing that Jeno increase his pace,

“Hang on for a little more, baby. I promise it’ll feel good.”

You gasp when Jeno’s cock hitting every inch of the hole and making your body squirm under him boosting his self esteem at your reactions. He gathers some of Jaemin’s cum leaking out of your entrance and rubs your clit.

“Such a pretty princess. You’re gonna feel good, baby, the way am loving to see tears straining and messing up with your make up ” he soothes you again and the way his pace is uneven you know he is near to his climax.

The stretch is so painful and tears continuously falling down your face at the feeling.

“So good, you’re doing so good.” Jeno praises.

Jaemin who’s presence was absent for a while spoke up.

“If I was not there to catch you while sneaking out of the house then you would have miss all these fun.”

Jeno’s hand sliding up and down your bare back to soothe your tensed muscles and also messaging the ass. With few thrusts, you both come undone.

Still buried deep inside, he leans down to leave feathery kisses on all over your back and praising in between. You feel someone removing your hairs from the face while patting your cheeks gently. You hum in response.

“Are you with us Y/N?”

“No more…please…I can’t.”

Jeno pulls himself out and Jaemin make you sit up and quickly changing your place from the bed on his lap. They rip away all the loosely hanging clothing from your body along with your heels.

“This one is last baby.”

“N-No,” you protest, body feeling completely exhausted. “I can’t. Please, I can’t.”

Jeno sits in front of you, cupping your face and pecking your forehead, nose and lips, “I told you to trust us. You will feel good and you are still being a good girl for us. It’ll be quick.”

While Jeno was distracting you, Jaemin’s lubed finger enters your hole to prepare and it’s still tight after being stretched out from Jeno. With a satisfied stretch, he signals Jeno to hold you down while he enters you and as soon as he slides himself inside, you scream out but Jeno shushes you with the kiss. This kiss is a gentle kiss unlike before and it is really distracting you from the pain which is slowly shifting into pleasure. Jaemin’s hand finds your pussy and dips a finger inside to collect your leaking cum. With few thrust when he has milked his fingers enough, he brings them to his lips to taste them and groans in pleasure.

“You were right Jeno. She is delicious.”

Not letting you to keep up with their conversation when Jeno slides himself to your entrance and you nearly sob due to them both filling you up at the same time. You have felt so full even when you have eaten food more than you can digest. This foreign feeling is not much painful but rather exciting you to know how does it feel when they start moving.

Them nodding to each other, starts moving. A burning sensation spread all over your body and slowly slowly shifting to tingling pleasures. Toes curling, fingers digging into the skin. Jaemin biting down your shoulders and Jeno nearly choking you with hands around your throat gently but not to make you uncomfortable.

They increase their pace with praises flowing like a waterfall from their lips to make you float at the top of this world. Your mouth hangs open and Jeno takes this chance to slide his thumb inside and press on your tongue. You invitingly suck his digit.

“Shit I can feel you, jeno.”

“Me too.” He reads your body and facial expressions before calling out to Jaemin, “I don’t think she will last enough. Do it fast.”

With some few more thrust, you come undone and rest yourself against the front of Jeno and Jaemin sliding his hands against your back. You whine due to overstimulation but soon they come and ride out their high.

Pulling out from you, you are totally exhausted and anytime, you would pass out. But still trying your best not to fall in slumber. Jaemin makes some space to lay you down properly in the middle of the bed and you hug his torso before he covers both of you with the blanket Jeno brings over to him.

Jaemin brushes away the hair from your face, gently turning your body so that all your tensed and constricted muscles feel at ease.

“My pretty baby,” he whispers and you smile in response. “Get some sleep. We will clean you and take care of everything.”

“What are we now?” You ask with hooded eyes and murmuring sound.

Jeno chuckles at you, finding your every action cute when you are sleepy. “Isn’t it obvious. You are ours now. You belong to us. only us. You can’t ignore us now.” He slides himself inside the blanket to your other side mimicking his brother’s pose. Both of their attention on the sleepy figure between them, admiring how you still manage to look the prettiest even in such a state of exhaustion.

“Keep it a secret from our parents.”

“We will see about that.”

“No but-“

“Shh,” Jaemin coos. “Get some rest.”

Will it be a secret forever? Can they really keep it a secret? What if everyone comes to know about you?

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Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @jaehunnyy @jaeminnanaaa17 @stolasisyourparent @bockhyun @b-a-nshee-blog @kundann

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[chimaeray]

Mouthwashing thoughts assembled from my Discord messages with a friend while we both go apeshit about it

Spoilers this is your only warning because I will be getting RIGHT into it. Things are not organized super well it's all braindump baby. CW for game topics including sexual assault, torture, and general misery.

Jimmy's so certain everyone is or should be like him that he can't imagine anyone actually caring about other people. From Anya asking for any help and care whatsoever being a nuisance to him, to Swansea keeping watch at the utility room just trying to keep Daisuke safe and put him in that cryopod once everyone else was too far gone. This is unfathomable to Jimmy, who's first instinct upon learning they were all getting terminated was to belittle and shame everyone as a way to guilt Curly further. Of course including Curly himself, who was struggling (kind of having a midlife crisis) and putting on airs to keep everyone else calm and okay for this one last job. Jimmy is so sure of himself being able to fix things like Curly does, and figuring out how they can "both be heroes in this," that he makes a dying man eat his own flesh and then freezes him under the idea that this is GOOD and RIGHT. He doesn't care about the misery and pain Curly is in at this point. At first he seemed happy Curly was helpless and incapable. He seems to take satisfaction in volunteering to force-feed those painkillers, after he ridicules Anya first. He's so sure Curly should be grateful and thank him for all of this. He can't take responsibility even when he kills himself, all he does is reassure himself he did the best he could at every moment and fixed it all in the end. Curly will be miserable for the rest of the life he may or may not have. Jimmy got his, alright. Curly was feeling unsatisfied with his life, so isn't this better now? Curly says he doesn't want his life to feel like something he has to escape, but now his own mutilated body is the prison. While he watches and hears everyone else die, and he can't even try to fix it anymore. He missed his chance to do anything about Jimmy before it was too late. And when Jimmy says he can still fix this, make sure they survive and will be okay, Curly wheezes and laughs at him.

My take on Curly is that he did his best by and large, but he valued his relationship with Jimmy and trying to salvage it more than he should have especially when Anya told him she was raped. He is still a man in a place of power that didn't want to rock the boat too much, and that ended up enabling someone that would rather implode the whole fucking thing. After everything Anya still chose to die with him. She loved him(in the very least platonic but I know romantic was teased), still felt safest with him, and wanted to keep them both safe from Jimmy. So she locked them into a room together to die, quietly, away from him. Even if that made Curly witness as she overdosed and died. She had the gun hidden away with them, out of Jimmy's reach. Until Jimmy manipulates Daisuke into crawling up that vent, sentencing a young and hopeful man to a miserably painful death. Jimmy doesn't even respect Anya's authority and capability as the nurse (at all) enough to have listened when she said the mouthwash would be too sugary to use as an antiseptic. He still pours it onto Daisuke's wounds, because his short-sighted selfishness used up the entirety of the last bottle of antiseptic they had to poison Swansea.

(Daisuke is literally in an osha training video that's like "If you know it's dangerous don't do it! Even if a supervisor says so!")

By the end Jimmy only feels guilty for some of it. He knows he sentenced them all to a miserable death but he only feels guilty for Daisuke, and then Curly to a point. He doesn't really regret Swansea that much, it seems mostly like he's bothered he got caught (Swansea even tries leveling with him, to some extent--somewhere between a confessional and a final reach to see if he can be reached at all). He only worries about what having to deal with a baby might mean for him, but he doesn't give a shit about Anya at all. She's a non-issue in his mind, just some pathetic and poor girl that couldn't even get through schooling. He's only worried about the fact that a baby means he'd have to be responsible for it, and whatever discipline may come from the last remains of the company for sexually assaulting the nurse. Her suffering matters so little to him, if at all even considering he smears her entirely out of his perception while looking for antiseptic.

He's such an unreliable asshole he can't even confront himself, he has to use Curly and Polle as his conscience in his hallucinations.

The party scene is so intense. What a way to illustrate how off the deep end he is and it feels deserved. It's not just used to show he's insane and trying to cope by pretending they're all alive. It's everything he wanted. Praise, adoration, respect. Part of what I think is very interesting is he refuses to admit they're fully gone, but he doesn't necessarily deny their appearances. He isn't fixing them to look normal in his hallucinations, it's still their dead bodies he's propped up in chairs around him. Like a really weird coping mechanism to assure himself that its fine, he did it, he did a good job. Now he just needs to eat and celebrate with everyone! They just need to eat a little bit of Curly, get through one more meal, it'll be okay!