#their in my head almost 24/7
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Ajax My Beloved
I think they have quickly become one my favourite Sherbverse person ever.
They're so silly and tragic. They're so used to constantly moving, being in battle, that the first time in (what we can assume a long time) that they've built a base they are sad at the thought of losing it, because they want to make friends but they can't, they're not allowing themselves to make friends, but they did. They broke their OWN rule on making friends, of being attached.
And I eat it up!
Ajax deserves a hug, and a constant set of people that they don't have to kill, they need more constant things. Because they don't have anything constant outside of waking up in tournaments to fight.
Oh them I'm going to scream about them so often, I hold them in my little gay hands so much.
#sherbertquake56#sherbertverse#stares at the sherbverse#Ajax eod#end of days#eodsmp#holds little guy#their in my head almost 24/7#im also writing a fic for them#its a backstory fic#so many thoughts on this#thoughts and feelings
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Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened
#genshin impact#furina#clorinde#furinde#furina's character story 5 and her voicelines about clorinde has left me so mentally ill in the head#THE WAY FURINA FELT THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER WANTED AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CLORINDE POPPED UP TO INVITE HER TO A LIL GATHERING AMONG FRIENDS#NOT TO MENTION THAT CLORINDE IMMEDIATELY OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER TO HAVE BETTER LIVING CONDITIONS#EVEN WHEN DECLINED SHE STILL HELPED FURINA TIDY UP HER NEW APARTMENT BEFORE THEY WENT OUT FOR DRINKS TOGETHER#the way clorinde was no longer bound to any sort of contract but still went to visit furina and help her out of her own volition is so?????#AND the fact that little miss stonefaced 24/7 clorinde actually SMILED at furina???? chewing on aluminum foil#oughhhh they scratch at my brain so nicely#ALSO!! ALSO!! THE LONGING IN FURINA'S VOICE WHEN SHE SAYS HOW MUCH SHE TRUSTS CLORINDE AND MISSES HER IS SO!!!!!!!!!#crawling on the walls and howling as we speak#4.2 had made me already so deranged about furina to the point where she shot up from being just a funky lil guy to straight hyperfixation#I just thinjk;;;;;;; she deserves to be happy for once in her life (and have her lil emotional support bodyguard gf w/ her to smooch)
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Suddenly wishing my parents could read my mind/see inside my head so they understood I actually CAN'T do the things I say I can't do. Its not that I don't want to its that I literally cannot do them :)
#anyway i almost got in a car wreck#it was not my fault#but im not reacting to it very well#haha#and now i get to go to work#yayyy#/sarcasm#anyway i dont actually want my parents in my head cause haha#intrusive thoughts and all#they both have anxiety and are medicated and guess who also has anxiety and is NOT medicayed#yayy#' youre so smart you can do litetally anything' yall i am literally 24/7 masking and its gonna get to me one of these days#so now i cant do anything#vent#sorry if you read all this#im not having a good morning haha#dont feel the need to respond#the only plus side is when i am in mental anguish i can ignore my physical anguish#yayyyyy for real!#the thing in question i cant do is driving btw#i should by all means not be on the road
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screenshot redraw YIPPEE 🐁🐁
We NEEDED to see more of the monkey sidekick having duo 💔 It's okay though, im not angry about this. *my nails dig into my fists*
#wordgirl#wordgirl fanart#wordgirl pbs#pbs kids#digital art#art#pastrami sandwiches#screenshot redraw#professor tubing#captain huggyface#becky botsford#bob wordgirl#bosco wordgirl#wow chat who knew I could draw something wordgirl and NOT related to a.. certain sombody.. twirls my hair#gentlemen PLEASE! I am a man of science! and this is my.. monkey! of. science.#LOVE HIM HE DESERVED MORE TIME TO SHINE WHAT#GRGRGRGA GRIPPING AND SHAKING THE BARS OF MY CELL#also lschool just started for me and um yeah productivity is down like 80% IM SORRY I WISH I COULD JUST DRAW 24/7 BUT I CANT ANYMORE EUEUU#school*#im uh. still making that comic. NONO LISTEN TRUST ME ITLL BE FIRE JUST JUST GIVE ME A SECOND IM ALMOST IM ALMOST READY TO START IT I SWEAR#WHO KNEW YOU ACTUALLY NEEDED TO WRITE THESE THINGS BEFORE DRAWING THEM?? LMAOO#professor tubing... please save me professor tubing...#HES SO SWEET RGGRGRRRR I NEED MORE RRRRR PBS HIRE ME PLEASE#anyways off to ignore I mean work on all 5 of my wips#me when i take several screenshots of boxleitners lab and Frankenstein them together like a mad scientist#tbh that was the only reason i used the pixel effect#MAD SCIENTIST?? DR TWO BRAINS REFERENCE?? somebody sedate me#YOU KNOW TECHNICALLY I COULD TAG tTHIS AS BOXLEITNER BC THEYRE IN HIS LAB- *BAG THROWN OVER MY HEAD*#MMMBMMFMVMF!!#my art
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Small low quality doodle of Them™️ because I miss my boys and they help cure all stress
#bnha#best jeanist#edgeshot#eclair’s art#hakamada tsunagu#kamihara shinya#edgejeanist#edgeshot x best jeanist#I am very sleepy#I miss them so much#they live in my head rent free and yet I still miss them how is that possible idk#with 79 aus almost all centered around them active in brain 24/7 how do I miss em idek lol#but I haven’t doodled them in a while and have been thinking about so many headcanons and UA years#<3#I need to practice drawing my teenage jeanist bc he looks so different to how I usually draw him
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autismo
#tf2#It’s just replaying in my head 24/7 no wonder I get nothing done#my superpower is thinking about those old men in situations fuck yeah#memory like your father#absent#sorry that was kinda mean#almost as mean as my sick autistic adhd swag lets fucking goooo#daffys drawings#brain rot
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the 39 clues girlies are having a field day in the notes of a post I made months ago and all I can do is gaze upon them fondly as I remember the most passionate late lover of my life
#they want to revive the fandom 🥹#oh the stories i could tell#jesus my t39c hyperfixation was definitely a Time. i don't think I've had a more intense hyperfixation ever#i can STILL name all the clues off the top of my head. five years later#i feel like a grandma#i don't get as sad over it or as excited every time i see a sign of someone wanting to revive the fandom as i used to but#your first love never dies and all#throwback to that time i tried to organise an internet clue hunt!!! we should totally do that on tumblr it could be so fun#i had so many ideas damn#the 39 clues#liveblogging.pdf#holy shit wait it's more like 7 years now. not five#broooooo#almost 8 tbh#i miss the site i miss the ffn forums i miss the books being in stores...#i miss the gc that made me get a tumblr in the firstplace#oof#i do not play about this series when i say i am INSUFFERABLE about it#i literally used to think about it 24/7 for years not exaggerating#i had to relate everything to it i still do#i was fully convinced i was an undercover lucian agent#who am I kidding i still do#i don't have one notebook without all the clues listed in them from some time i was bored in class
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ANOTHER john & dave. god, how i love these guys.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dave strider#john egbert#hs john#these guys are in my head 24/7#i am loosing it#stayed up till like 4 am just to finish#this took like five hous and i almost gave up#so happy i did not do such#pepsicola#johndave
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i kind of love my new job but the more time i spend there the more i realize how fucked up the learning environment at my last job was and how fucked of a working environment elder care honestly is
#im CONSTANTLY hearing a voice going “if youre not on your feet 24/7 youre not doing it right” in the back of my head#mixed with a “theyre gonna tell you youre doing fine but then tell your mentor youre a shit worker”#its SO fucking weird to be able to breathe and think during work?#today i worked on school assignments for several hours and joked around with colleagues#while at my old job i would be switching between coordinating colleagues giving medication doing a catheterization talking to a doctor#comforting a grieving family coordinating more colleagues doing an injection taking vitals bc someone is sick calling the doctor AGAIN#ad infinitum and at the end of the afternoon shit still wouldnt be done#and here i almost forget im working
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Limbo is being inebriated at your first drag club and the queens just. keep. coming.
#personal#it was fun and we were there for almost two hours#thats two hours of music and dancing and cheering and etc etc#after the parade and getting up early for work i was ready to curl up in bed#but also how do you not fall in love with every queen you see i mean realistically#a davenport climbed up onto my booth and danced right above my head#she left her money on my table and everything#that feeling when a queen says “thank you baby” rb if you agree#but sweet lord idk how anyone can do that all the way until the end#where are all of the quiet low stamina bar gays at#i want a bar called low stamina#and it's chill 24/7
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Hate how I didn't even think until now abt how zelda was alone as a dragon for so many years until the present. I wonder way too much abt how everything was for her and esp now as a dragon like mineru did say you lose yourself completely iirc but reg the tears shed do I believe it's not fully true. Maybe depends how strong your spirit is. Like yeah she can't really communicate well anymore but she recognizes us and her eyes. Her eyes I still can't get over them they're so full of emotion that's absolutely her eyes. Like. You're still inside that dragon when you become one if you try your best to remember is what I think (or want to believe). It's 5am I am not going to try to explain my already barely coherent thoughts better. Too much possibilities where I think some border on denial. I am a fluff not angst person. Anyways I wonder how long all those years felt what do you do as a dragon did the sages try talking to her dragon form or like anything-
#totk spoilers#rent free in my brain huh#I almost play 24h without pause hylia help me#(well minus for like. necessities like food)#still need to beat the story#I cannot believe I seriously considered her going through time or smth smth time power shenanigans#I completely forgot the sword needs a lot of time to get power. rip me.#I am not a fan of angst I like fluff stuff why is my brain just absolutely occupied with dragon zelda#mmmmaybe bc I suprisingly quick accepted it already. at least I can paraglide next to her and all#also maybe I forgot a lot that I read and know abt the timeline bc I think I wreck my head too much abt that too#I got the hyrule historia but like. how does botw tie in again. I think abt it too much it's just for fun damm it#I say since hours only this then bed and now it's 5am#I am awake since 7 and play since what 8? 9?#Absolutely insane how loz got me in a chokehold again but I lately don't even touch pokemas for daily missions#Obv in the back of my mind 24/7 but I feel so odd when pkmn in literally any regard isn't the thing that gets constantly#shaken around in my head with little focus for anything else#In other news I would die for penn and tauro is also neat wanna snatch his hairstyle#also zonai are one of the prettiest races ever. would love to be one or some of the zora ones#anyways all I got is 'I wonder if'#I like. barely talk abt such things it's such a new refreshing thing and I'm sorry I talk mostly for myself#(such things being speculations hc whatever I mostly just kept to myself bc my ex bff just did not care. yay.)#(so fuck if I know much abt fleshing out n all)#a wild lux appears
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
#in regards both to my cat and my grandma though i was mostly thinking about my grandma when i wrote this#i was fine the next day after she died bc like. it was expected. she was in hospice for several months#and a nurse had been staying with her 24/7 for the last 2 days. the nurse told us it probably wouldnt be long on the last day.#we knew it was coming so i didnt feel too bad right after it happened. it was only when the mortician showed up that it sunk in#but the next day i was fine. if she got brought up in conversation id get a bit sad but i was mostly fine after that day#and its been. like. a little more than 3 months since then#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore#sometimes i still feel like shes still there when i walk into that room. it still partially smells the same#i turn on the light and feel like im somewhere im not supposed to be until i realize that we cleared out her stuff months ato#you wouldnt know that someone was bedridden and in hospice in there just from looking at it#but sometimes i just get that mental image of her being in there. or when she was in a nursing facility for a time and mostly normal#when we thought she was just almost septic and not nearing the end#the stupid doorbell we had her ring when she needed something that made us all jump whenever we heard a similar sound#the fact that the last blanket she ever started crocheting is still in that room and never finished#her rocking chair that has been sitting empty for probably over a year now#the haunted lamp in what used to be her bedroom pre-hospice that keeps turning on#the fact that her cars no longer in the driveway#idk. thinking about it doesnt like. actively make me cry or anything. but it is like. a lurking feeling#like ive been aware and fine with the fact that shes gone. and has been gone#but sometimes i really... remember that shes gone#i still forget that its like. a permanent thing and that shes not just in the hospital again#i wouldnt say i feel too much grief about her dying. i feel more about my cat that died 8 years ago.#but it is a weird feeling to recognize. maybe i only felt sadder about my cat bc (to me) it was unexpected#idk.
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does anyone know if we have nausea tomorrow
#jesus FUCKING Christ I need it to go away. literally nothing helps except smoking weed but I don’t want to be doing that#frequently while in early stages concussion 😭😭#<- it’s been almost a week now and my senses are better#but if there’s more than one stimulus in my environment my brain loses its shit#and it’s not that my cognition is poor or my head HURTS all that much#its that the nausea will NOT QUIT#laying down doesn’t even help it kinda makes it worse I think 😭😭#sounds are awful. im getting ear plugs to wear like 24/7 and blackout curtains SOON but gawwwddd.#The emerge doctor also did say smoking is fine/I should smoke the way I would pre concussion#bc we don’t want to extra stress out my brain and body#all concussion advice is just like. do normal activity! But not like that.
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having a category 12 "thought about william wisp for too long" moment
#that last scene in 40 . got me fucked up so bad. motherfucker. aauagahaghhhhrrghgh.#idk if its the paranoia anxiety of animal sounds in my ceiling again finally catching up to me but im srs like.#almost starting 2 cry right now and im not even LISTENING to the episode.#thought abojt david kaufman again. fuck . part of me is like god i need 2 go listen to his lines again but the other part of me is like.#no mac you have work jn the morning and youre ALREADY not gonna grt enough sleep due to the fucking animals in your ceiling.#head in hands. we need 2 dismantle capitalist society so i can spend the next 24 hours fucking weeping over william wisp.#then maybe ill get my thoughts in order enough to actually write about him#having soioooooo many blood and gore thoughts about [redacted for spoilers] . i havent seen ANY art of it#except one like. vague abstract thing. whcih was awesome dont get me wrong. but i want 2 see something visceral.#and im not good enough at blood and gore to do it myself . plus ive burnt myself out so hard on the painting projects.#and im still not DONE with them#ughhhghgh. anyway. on 24/7 wiwi lockdown ovwr here
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#Not being able to draw atm has my brain working overtime coming up with AUs and stuff I want to draw for them#N+M DnD AU#or better yet#Tal'dorei AU#Because I can't get the thought of Volstrucker Marten out of my head#and also Tiefling Nohren#I also want to draw stuff for the OG story of these two#the Witcher timeline because my god i love them in that story#then there's the 80s AU with hermit ranch owner Marten meeting Nomadic motorcyclist Nohren#which I made almost entirely because i want to draw 80s fashion and cool cars/bikes#AND the 1920s AU that i have nothing written for#only vibes#but they're good vibes#renfaire AU with knight Marten catching city boy Nohren's eye at the joust#the 90s AU where they's both punk and getting into trouble 24/7
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I got a mild cold and something happened, but anyway
#i swear i will finish things but i know im pretty slow and im being a lackluster#honestly im so thankful im not being forgotten or anything. i just need to get myself back to normal#though my head made things up almost 24/7 so im easy to feel ridden with guilt(?) and empty at the same time#i dont even feel like playing the game these days. maybe i should just click the skip button and get things i need only...#rambling and talking
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