#their chemistry has me spinning in circles

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

A short one this week as we're still in a dip, with one show I love and one show I really do not love airing. Both of these are on Gaga!

Love is Better the Second Time Around

No, I have not gotten over this line and I don't intend to anytime soon. This drama just gets better and better every week. I loved how much attention the show gave to Miyata's burgeoning desire for Iwanaga; he has been denying himself since his teen years and now that he's gotten a taste, of course he wants more. Which is making it hard for him to hold his grudge and keep Iwanaga at a distance. He likes him and what he does to him, and it, well, pisses him off. I love that he's getting closer but still trying to keep him at an emotional distance, and that Iwanaga understands exactly what he's doing and calls him on it when he goes too far. I also really loved Iwanaga telling him honestly that he just doesn't express things as intensely as Miyata, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel them. That's such a real tension point in relationships. Their chemistry is unreal and the performers are doing an amazing job with the sex scenes (including the solo one); their connection feels palpable. I also continue to love the animosity with Shiraishi, those scenes are always so funny. And I actually don't mind another ex coming back around to remind Miyata why he's mad; I still want to see Iwanaga try harder to earn this.

My Strawberry Film

Okay, ya know what, I have had enough. I have been so patient with this show. I have given it so many chances to tell me what the hell it's on about and what it's trying to accomplish. But it seems the answer to that is just wasting two months of my time going 'round and 'round in circles to arrive back at the start. Last week felt like we were finally getting somewhere, but this week we're back to spinning our wheels. This is not a bl, and it's not a particularly interesting story about anything. It's just four confused teenagers hurting each other's feelings in turn, and the whole story hinges on a mystery about this film that I honestly couldn't care less about. It's boring and repetitive and unfocused. I will finish this because I've come this far, but I'm bummed for Drama Shower to be (possibly) ending on this mess.

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - These Are the Days of Our BLs

Aug 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 5 of 8 - They cute making heart eyes at each other, but could we get back to punching & slutty silk shirts? OMG the poor rich kid & the bodyguard who wants to hug him SO BAD are KILLING me. I did giggle & yell “punchy punchies” during the fight scene before the fire. But Charn is a diamond-encrusted evil-gorgeous gremlin beastie, isn’t he? 

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 1 of 10 - NO SINGING, but also.. wristbands! Sand is great = smart, snappy & over this shit. (Tired Gay 2.0) Neo & Mark are a revelation, where’d that chemistry come from? Force playing a douchenozzle is damn delight. Plus a counter lift in the first ep? Boys, you’re spoiling me. Mew is the least interesting, but Book is still adorable. Ray is the least likable character, but since it’s Khao, he’s the most likable screen presence. In fact, I’m enjoying all the messy messy gays & I know all their types IRL. I wish we had some femme & swish rep tho. Is this Thailand’s Queer as Folk? Seems like. Is it good? Not sure. But it is FUN as hell. Still, I gotta say it… they all dance like straight boys. 

Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 5 of 10 - Zo just wants to turtle & avoid but Joke is not gonna allow that. GMMTV keeps having sub issues (usually fixed within a few days). 

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - I do like the psychic gay detective trope. It makes this show more interesting and enjoyable. But they solved the mystery awful fast. I guess different drama spins the final 2 eps? 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 12fin - It was fine. I was fine with it. A kind of Vice Versa situation. The usual with Jittirain, as it turns out, is pretty simple: one of her main characters is going to be a manipulative liar or extremely unlikeable or both. It got an 8/10 from me, but probably should get a 7/10 just because I’m so exhausted by this. But I have to be fair and judge each BL on its own & not in light of repeat author mistakes. Not much of a trash watch here. Final full review here. 

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 eps - Boyfriend trip together. Terrible overalls. What the fuck? No. Meanwhile, perfect choice for college star. (Could Ton please lead out a new BL? I know I’m 0 for 2 with him but I’m willing to try again if he is.) I actually enjoyed this installment for a change. Perhaps “enjoy” is too strong a word. Not much happened, dog days of BL, perhaps that’s a good thing with Dino? 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 6 of 12 - Mostly I was excited to watch this week because of Ben but there wasn’t much of him. Sadness. OK, I know it has STIFF competition but does this show have the worst music in BL, or is it just me? I still like Big Daddy & Hot Doc as characters but I am despairing over their arc (would we call it an arc?). All in all this week... Whatever.

Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 4 of 7 - I am officially being driven to drink. Trash watch is happening!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 4 of 8 - This show makes me laugh so much. It is so damn cute. And there’s so much language play going on. THEN . . . JUST ADD SIMON. I love a good Simon. Who doesn’t love a good Simon? I know SO MANY Simons. Now 3 boys are circling the ingénue (who I suspect is less innocent than he appears). So much delightful competition, postering & flirting. “My Jun,” is he, Simon? You are a precious angular stalk man, aren’t you? Pacing is great with this show. Every week I can’t wait for the next installment, that’s a hallmark of the best KBLs. If the language stuff confused you as much as it did me here is an EXCELLENT post on the subject that will help. 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 7 of 10 eps - Sweetest seme. He’s hurt & mad at his boy but still can’t help taking care of him. I do like the courting with snacks & sweet little notes. (It’d work on me.) YAY!  Reunion kisses & nuzzles!!! Snuggling!!!! Gah! Taiwan, I love you. These 2 aren’t your best kissers but their cuddling is off the charts. I guess we are just gonna be plotless messy gay bfs for the final 3 eps? That’s cool with me. 

Sing My Crush (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 eps - it’s adorable, they’re adorable, I’m enjoying it a whole lot. It’s like a very soft, low-stakes Addicted. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps - I liked Love Class 1 (more than most on Tumblr) & I normally don’t want 2nd seasons. But this has an entirely new cast (in the “Replay” model). I’m fine with a 2nd season that has little or nothing to do with the first. J-min is an interesting choice of idols but he’s doing an unexpectedly good job. (He is a truly great rapper, by the way.) Trigger warnings out the gate... also this is complicated. Ready? We got 3 queer besties: artist gay Hyun (J-min), shy cafe gay Minwoo (in love with), sunshine gym bunny bi slut Maru (represent, my brother). Then we got Mr Put-upon-TA (+ boy who saw him nekid). And the twist = all black otaku Kim An (used to tutor artist gay in high school = exes ghosting DRAMA). This last reads as a hyung romance. Which you know I love. But it also feels v dark. All of which is to say, I am intrigued but a little nervous over the tone. 

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 8 - Classic JBL is back! This one is My Beautiful Man + Tokyo in April/Oh My Assistant. It’s odd and warped af but I like it. Very much has a the feel of old live action yaoi + VERY D/s. BRING IT JAPAN.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 6 of 12 eps - Shin is my sweet bean sprout and Minato should just boink him. Why all this waffling? I love the doctor. But mostly I’m as frustrated with this show as Shin must be in general. Minato 2- the season of blue balls.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 2 of 5 eps - I re-watched the first 2 eps & now find it a bit more comprehensible (yes 2: there is an ep 0). I don’t think we can expect this to end happy for either couple. It’s kinda sticky & grungy (in a way I’ve come to expect from the Philippines, although this is not as cluttered visually nor as brightly colored as the Pinoy stuff). I do kind of like that lived-in feeling, it reminds me of Taiwanese shorts. There is something very honestly queer about the primary leads (tattoo & babyface) in particular the way they dance queer? around each other: verbally, emotionally & physically - laying down breadcrumbs of gay for the other to follow. The secondary couple (reunion, cheating) is very sad. Although I do love a counter lift make-out sesh. (Occasionally Cantonese sounds like Vietnamese to me. Apparently I am not alone in this.)

Gossip - AKA P’ABL is Disappointed

I was gonna put a statement here but I just did it separately, earlier this week, since my ask box was overflowing regarding actor gossip and other stuff. 

Meanwhile, Stay With Me ended exactly as expected. Can’t say I didn’t warn ya. You watched this anyway? You got what was coming to you. I am entirely unsympathetic. 

 Next Week Looks Like This:

Look at that PACKED week. NIIICEEEE. 

Starting:

8/18 Dangerous Romance (Thai Fri GMMTC YT) 12 eps - Perth returns to lead out a BL, odds on that ever happening were slim. (Let alone Chimon.) Still here we are. Interesting times. Chimon plays a poor studious kid who hates the school bully but is forced to become his private tutor. Lurv results. 

8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) 10 eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together. Looks very pulp. No idea on international distribution. 

8/19 I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai Sat Gaga) 12 eps - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. Adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain. Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. From the producers of Lovely Writer.

8/20 My Universe series (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 eps - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct.

Still Coming in August 2023

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, Viki or Gaga will get this one.  

8/23 Why R U? (Korean remake iQIYI) is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Talking grandkids. Made me snicker. (Low Frequency.)

The waist grab that launched a thousand gifs (Laws of Attraction). Okay it was last week but I gotta chronicle it here in the weeklies. For science. 

Sing My Crush. They are so damn cute. 

Thank you for the counter action GMMTV, please Sirs, may I have another?

Captain snark in the house. Of course they handed the best and most complex pairing to these two. Well done GMMTV. (Only Friends) 

I really did not expect J-Min to be this good. (Love Class 2) 

(Last week) 

[eris-snow]

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐞

Tags: Revelation (Deku's birthday series 2024), izuku x fem!reader, revelation, y/n's worried, angst, no fluff, sorry, pain, fear, ft bakugou

Masterlist

July 14th. Different but similar.

The clock hands wind, and circle again and again. It spins around, and comes to a stop. The ticking of the second-hand haunts your mind.

Tick, tick, tick.

Two days, a day, to find a way to break this curse. It’s a Sunday, and you’re scared for tomorrow.

It’s Izuku’s birthday tomorrow.

When you were young, this day would be one that was full of excitement. Back then, you’d plot and scheme with your limited power on how to make Izuku’s date of birth a very special one. There was a notebook you diligently dedicated all your ideas to, a piggybank full of chum change. Whether a crudely drawn card or $1 ice cream, you’d find a way to make him smile.

As you got older, your handwriting neatened with legible lines and you swapped your piggybank for an organiser for your notes, but it still remained the day you would brainstorm for your best friend’s birthday.

Now, you were spending that same day clearing homework and revising for a Chemistry test on hydrocarbons.

Knocks on wood, and the door creaking open with friction and a squeak.

“Starlight?”

It’s a rasp and the undertone is worried, like you were on the verge of doing something you would regret.

Bright red bleeds into the background, and blond hair pokes into your room. The asshole bully turned hero, peeking into your chamber.

“Kacchan?” You say, turning around. God, your voice sounds like cheese through a grater. “What is it?”

“Izuku,” He swallows, eyes averted. Alarm bells flare in your brain, and you make a noise that sounds like a cat dying in your throat.

“Izuku’s gone.”

—

This isn’t Izuku’s first time sneaking out of school. He’s grown some decency, so he told Aizawa about his plan, but it feels dirty leaving without telling you at all.

The site of his Quirk Accident is an unmarked spot 200 metres from Aldera Middle School. Wedged between a crossroad and a school, the densely populated area has Izuku pulling his mask up higher and rechecking himself in his phone screen to remain inconspicuous.

The wooden, rusted bench nearby catches his eye, and he makes a move to sit down when the back of his head tingles with a touch of agony.

It’s…not much. The pain arrives in the form of mild headaches. Izuku knows full well that to get snippets of his memory back, he needs to toughen out through the torture—

Pain is not worth the weight of knowledge.

Izuku falters, and the tortured agony in his brain starts to fade. What if he’s got this all wrong?

His heart sinks, sinks to the bottom of the sea and there’s no seabed in sight. What if this isn’t enough?

There’s a split-second moment that holds in the air. The world slows, a butterfly on a flower, beauty embodied in a once unsightly caterpillar.

Earth is silent, Earth is peaceful…

and then the butterfly takes off.

A hand comes around his neck, a raspy giggle in his ear, and in a second he’s as stiff as one of the guards outside of Buckingham Palace.

“Visiting relatives?” The voice continues, controlled with a certain cadence Izuku can’t quite place. Everything in his body tells him to run, to slam this person into concrete and confront him first-hand, but…

Danger Sense doesn’t flare.

He doesn’t want to hurt me, and yet every fibre he exudes is screaming with the intent to kill.

“Something like that,” He lies, shrugging the arm off firmly. “What’s it to you?”

The giggle strains as Izuku takes stock of the person’s appearance. Seemingly normal looking, but isn’t that everyone, who tries to fit in and gets lost in the crowd?

He goes a level deeper, and when he does, he sees how worn the jacket’s seams are, how frayed the edges of the hem are and how dust settles on his hair that he’d mistaken for dandruff before. His shoes are worn to death until the white is unrecognisable under the grime, and there isn’t a lens in one of the glasses that haphazardly sat on his face.

“Ah, I like that,” He praises, nodding in approval. “I came here for that too! Something happened here once that marked my brother’s…” His eyes flash, and his unstable mask flickers off to reveal a beast stirring under. “Unfortunate passing.”

The phrasing is all too awkward, and Izuku hates the logical leaps he has to take in order to piece his puzzle together. However, everything fits when the man his senior finally meets his gaze.

His eyes are ice-blue.

Izuku reels, the puzzle complete.

Not a civilian, not a civilian at all—

The hand comes around his neck once more. No longer friendly, but unable to consider threatening. Izuku wants to twist his arm like a pretzel, but his next line knocks the wind out of him like one of Kacchan’s punches to the gut.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He whispers, a grin sliding easily onto his face, “to finding your memories.”

Izuku swallows the saliva that has gathered in his mouth. What does he know, what does he want—

“How do you know?” He whispers, eyes darting about to take in the surroundings. Families are out to relax in the afternoon sun, relishing this day of rest before the next day when everyone has to go back to school. Everyone is oblivious, and Danger Sense remains quiet.

Izuku doesn’t move.

“You have this look in your eyes,” The man with a cold blue gaze replies, eyes sparkling in recognition. “The same as me, yes, exactly the same.” The ice cracks, and melts into eyes. The villain’s edges go from hard to soft in an instant.

“Nii-san was right. We are more alike than we thought.”

Something awakens in Izuku, at being associated with someone who’s qualities are unknown. “We’re, nothing alike.” He spits, hands clenching on his lap.

“What do you want?”

There’s a flicker under those blue eyes of his, and this person, he straightens up and sighs. “I suppose so. And to answer your question, it’s simple, really, so, so simple…” He tilts his head, grin feral.

“To make you hurt the way you hurt me.”

There’s nothing but pure intent behind those eyes, Danger Sense remains silent, come on, there’s no way—

“My brother always told me my Quirk was far more powerful than his, and frankly, I always thought he was exaggerating.” He whispers, eyes welling up with emotion. “He told me to use it wisely, because one punch in the right area is worth 10 in the wrong place, but I see it now…” His eyes harden, devouring the emotion and fueling his drive.

“I know what I need to do,” The villain shoves his hand off Izuku’s shoulders and pushes himself off the bench.

Confused, Izuku rubs his neck where it’d been rubbed raw.

You aren’t going to use your Quirk on me?

The man turns, and Izuku always did have the nasty habit of muttering aloud.

Laugh bitter, eyes wild like a cat about to pounce, he replies.

“The intent never was to use my Quirk on you.”

The grin he gives is unkind. The monster stirs the pot, and Izuku tumbles in. 

“It was for never for you.”

Pedestrians stroll past, and a car honks. A family walks over and blocks his view.

When they pass, the stranger is long gone.

[mori-does-sw]

Of Hell May Smile

PAIRING(S) \ Vampire!Marshall Commander Fox x GN!Reader SYNOPSIS \ You've got an agreement with the Coruscant Guard, an agreement that Fox is looking to cash out on for the usual reasons as well as some more... personal ones. WARNING(S) \ Very brief horror, detailed descriptions of blood and blood drinking, minor injury, description of altered mental states (vampire spit is drugs), some very minor suggestive content A/N \ I saw a vampire Fox post once and I think it changed my brain chemistry. This man has me by the throat at All Times and I am unashamed of that fact lmao. So, anyways, here's exactly 1500 words of my own spin on that idea in honor of spooky month!

It’s when they start turning out the lights for the night that the Senate archives, usually a place of refuge from sneering politicians and throngs of reporters, becomes ominous. You always feel on-edge, walking through the darkened halls with only the flashlight on your datapad and the sound of your own footsteps for company.

But you aren’t a child anymore, you tell yourself; There aren’t any monsters going to jump out of the nearest shadow to get you. You aren’t still afraid of the dark. That would be ridiculous.

That’s why, when a shadow detaches from the wall, you’re primed and ready to send the datapad on hand flying in its direction. It misses, and faster than you can open your mouth to voice your terror, they slap a hand over your lips and start dragging you back into their hiding spot.

Instinctively, you claw at your attacker’s shoulders only for your nails to slide harmlessly down smooth, cool plastoid. A stab of startling clarity, and your eyes are darting to the sword-and-cog insignia emblazoned in red across his pauldron. Higher up, to a familiar helmet with a familiar color scheme—Fox.

The fight leaves you so quickly you sag in his grip, a moment of weakness he readily abuses to drag you further into the alcove. You register your shoulders hitting the wall, then your back, until the bulk of his armor is pressing you deep into the shadows.

“Can I help you, commander?” you finally work up the courage to ask, unable to soften the bite from your words. His silence makes it hard to calm your racing nerves, to pull your thoughts together, to think at all.

Your quickened breathing is loud in the small space between you. The pop of his helmet’s airtight seal is louder. You flinch at the sudden noise, but go still when one of his hands starts to rub soothing circles into your hip bone. With the other, he lifts his helmet off and lets it fall to the ground, clattering loudly and then rolling into your ankle.

There’s a long pause, and then: “I’m hungry.”

“... Ah.”

Fox has always taken great care to maintain the facade of the infallible commander of the guard, the model clone trooper complete with a regulation haircut and the emotional range of wet cardboard. The headlines call him steadfast, the citizens, cold-blooded; His quarry can only say he’s terrifying.

In this moment, he’s desperate. Vulnerable. Any anger beginning to brew from his rude surprise cools at the sight.

His whole body is trembling, almost vibrating, and his eyes are so far blown that they’re almost totally black. His skin has turned colorless and ashy, corpse-like, and its frigidity can be felt through the thick fabric of his gloves. 

Fox’s mouth is slightly parted, the distended tips of his fangs pressing into his bottom lip. You can’t tear yourself away from the sight, darkly fascinated by the way they gleam wetly with saliva. You can feel the blood rushing through your body, drumming in the places where your veins lay beneath your skin. Where you know he’ll sink his teeth.

You swallow heavily, your fear replaced by a not dissimilar, but altogether different thrill.

The clones of the Coruscant Guard have been on the receiving end of the public’s… curiosity. Whispers abound, they say that the guards never take off their helmets. That the workload is too heavy for their number, that they must go days without sleeping to keep up; Some claim that they don’t breathe.

Even before you knew what, exactly, made them the way they are, you agreed with the general sentiment: There is something incredibly eerie about the Coruscant Guard.

The chill of Fox’s skin makes you shiver as his nose bumps against your jaw. He inhales raggedly, his breastplate digging more firmly into your skin with the motion.

“Your heart is beating very fast.” He sounds off, dazed like he’s already half-drunk with blood. Your pulse kicks up even higher when he presses his mouth to that soft spot under your jaw to feel it.

You must make some noise, because after a moment he pulls away. The heat of Fox’s gaze bores into you even when you can’t meet his eyes.

“Am I scaring you?”

“... No.”

For all that you’d been doing this for several months you’d never been approached by Fox in the same way as his vode. Others who’d taken the agreement—credits for your blood and discretion—had offered and been turned down. If the shinies who stayed back to chat were to be believed, he only fed from his closest compatriots.

That doesn’t mean you haven’t noticed the weight of Fox’s gaze on you, observing you like he can’t help himself. You haven’t wondered what his bite would feel like, if he’d be as sweet and apologetic as some of the younger Corries, or whip-fast and to-the-point like Commander Stone. You haven’t considered if he’d want you to feel just as good as him.

It feels like you’ve swallowed sand, with how dry your mouth is. Every inhale whistles through your esophagus, which, in the meantime, feels like it’s been scraped raw. Your face is uncomfortably hot. Fox’s thumb is still swirling hypnotic, utterly damning circles against your hip.

Licking your lips, you try to smile. “I can handle it, if you promise to be gentle.”

The first prick of his fangs stills you; You’re biting your lip to keep quiet. But as Fox continues to sink his teeth into the column of your neck, you can’t help the soft whine that escapes your lips. He hums low in his throat, one hand sliding up to cradle the back of your head. He tilts it gently away from where he’s fixed, lessening some of the pressure.

Being held my him doesn’t hurt. It’s barely uncomfortable. And after a moment, the bite stops being painful too—ebbing away as a heated flush slowly spreads through your body.

You can feel blood pooling around the punctures and sliding down your neck. Fox laps it up hungrily. Much like the rest of him, his tongue is cold, and it feels odd passing over your skin.

The longer he feeds, the more pronounced the effects it has on you become. Your memory of Thire’s explanation escapes you, something about sedatives and happy chemicals that keep their prey pliant. It feels like your brain is melting, thoughts slipping from your grasp like water dripping through a sieve. You blink multiple times, hard, and distantly note how your vision has gone fuzzy at the edges. 

You think you should be frightened by this, but you can’t figure out why. Fox has you; You’re warm, safe, and perfectly content to go boneless in his hold for as long as he wants you there.

After an indeterminable amount of time, you’re roused by a strange sensation reverberating through your chest. It takes an embarrassing amount of time for you to realize that Fox is purring.

Many times you’ve done this, and not once has a Corrie purred like they’re shaking apart, trying to fit you inside their ribcage and keep you there. 

“Oooh, the big bad commander is getting soft,” You giggle drunkenly. 

“Pipe down. You’re just—warm,” he mutters, brusque tone belying the way he fists the back of your uniform in his attempt to press closer. Seeing as he’s already pinned you bodily down, Fox isn’t very successful. Nevertheless, his satisfaction is clear when he starts purring louder.

“That’s just because your body sucks.”

A pang of disappointment shoots through you when Fox finally pulls back. His breathing is slow, but heavy, and he’s still curled into you like gravity is pulling him in. Your brain is still too addled to control the pathetic whimper that slips out at the loss of proximity. 

Fox chuckles raspily, moving to dot kisses like freckles across your cheeks. Your legs are wobbling, fawn-like, and when he steps back you have to grab him again, lest you keel over and onto the duracrete floor.

Fox is looking much better. There’s a healthy flush to his face that speaks to the new blood flowing through his system, and his eyes have returned to their normal brown. The relaxed set of his mouth, however, dips down into a frown as he surveys you.

“... I got greedy, took more than I needed. My apologies.”

“It’s okay,” you sigh, “You needed it.”

Your eyes keep sliding closed without your permission, but, more lucid now, you manage to prop one eye open and fix him with a coy look. “However, I wouldn’t mind someone taking responsibility for his actions and helping me back to my flat.”

“Yeah,” Fox murmurs, pressing a coppery kiss beside his weeping bite mark. You can feel him smirking against your tender, abused flesh, and shiver. “I can take care of you.”

When the lights finally click off and plunge you into pitch-black darkness, Fox silences your startled shout with his own mouth.

[blucassiopeia]

Thunder and Lightning

"A prelude spin-off for an upcoming fic"

warnings: afab!reader, long courtship, fluff, goal-driven individual, 9.2k LONG

A Kageyama Tobio x reader oneshot

a/n: inspired by this

“‘You ever think about us?” He asks me after a night out. We were sitting on my porch, waiting for his cab.

“Of course I do. I think a lot about how timing really is everything. We had the chemistry, we had the love. We had the whole universe; except for that one little detail; we weren’t ready for each other.”

We look at each other for the first time in years; and just like back then, there is so much love in our glance. And yet, somehow the timing is still not right. And it seems this is how it will always be for the two of us — just like thunder and lightning — our timing will always be a little off.” — CCZ

It was raining on a March afternoon and the end of the school year is nearing; and you're still here, listening to your english lit teacher reading a literature she likes the class to make an essay out. You can't help but sigh as you rest your chin in your hand, staring out to the rain as it pours outside the building.

The english lit will be the last class before homeroom and you can't wait to have the day dismissed to be in that place again, like yesterday, like the years before. Karasuno High just doesn't have that sport and the venue so you still have to travel 15 mins to Sendai, so...

You heard her giggle beside you and she poked your arm. "Let's go out during homeroom, Y/n. Our adviser's in a meeting with the others anyway."

You hummed and slouched on your chair, sighing more than usual. The day feels a little off for you, like a pending hurricane about to happen, if the rain outside isn't it.

"Just let him do his thing, Ran. Don't meddle."

"But, Keii~"

You heard a raspy chuckle at your back and you tried to ignore it. You don't even have the energy to butt in, wondering what's wrong with you. You feel your brows furrowing at the confusion.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the current class and you had closed your eyes in relief. You quickly got up and turned to your bestfriendーwell, you don't know if you are to her but she is to you. "Restroom."

She stared at you and nodded, smiling. She has a bunch of chocolates and plushies all over her desk and under, and you have too but not as much as hers. You smirked at the thought as you made your way to the floor's restroom. Ran's pretty famous in Karasuno, much more outside of school because of her achievements, skills and reputation. Her boyfriend's(?) nice, you met him once. And she's too dense for the others on her big circle of friends.

You shook your head then you wash your face in the sink, and as soon as you are through, you went back to your room to rest your seem-heavy body. Well, tried.

"Y/n! Can you be my girlfriend?"

That line shook the hell out of you, much like the thunder outside, but more thunderous when the boy, still bowing in front of you, small bouquet of flowers in hand, is in your room with all your classmates staring at the scene. You tried to open your mouth, to say something but no words were pulled from your tongue. Your eyes darted to the amber-eyed boy that's already grinning, eyes not on you, poking on Ran's shoulders that's grinding her teeth, seated on a chair behind the boy.

"Can I court you, you idiot! I told you!"

Your eyes returned to the dark-haired boy, ignoring Ran's comment and stammered a "DoーHa-Who are you? Do I know you?", still in shock. Yeah, there are chocolates and some other stuffs under your desk but no one dared to ask you out like this.

The golden haired boyーKeiーstiffled a laugh to which Ran slapped his shoulder so hard Kei got knocked to the side, to the boy beside him.

"No. Umー"

After he placed the bouquet on Ran's desk, which was behind him, he walked out to the door, head still low, to where an orange-haired boy was waiting for him, jaw dropped and wide-eyed. You recognized him instantly, how could you not? He's Hinata Shoyo of the volleyball team. Your wide-eyes turned to Ran who has her jaw already dropped at you, too. Laughs soon resounded through your classroom and you felt your cheeks burned as you saw him laugh too.

"God, it's bad to laugh but, seriously Y/n? Who are you? Do I know you?" And he laughed again, and your cheeks can't get any redder.

"Shut it, Tadashi!" Ran snapped at him and you feel your world swirled. "Oh my God, Y/n. You don't know Kageyama Tobio? Really now? Andーughh oh my goood!" She covered her face with her hands and exasperatedly ran it to her hair.

"Hey! What Tadashi huh? That's Guchi-guchi for you."

Huh? Kageyama Tobio? The star-setter of the prefecture? Ran'sーyou don't really know much about her friends and team except Shoyo, Kei and the other oneーfriend? Why would he be in your classroom and ask that question to you? You gripped the nearby chair as your world really swirled.

"ーKei. She knows him. She was just maybe shocked? I don't know."

"Somehow feel bad for Ou-sama butー"

His laughs with Kei's woke the rest of your senses. You were blinded by the light but it was immediately shadowed by three poking heads. You groaned as you felt your hot breaths, you can even feel your ears and eyes burning too. You blinked twice as your vision adjusted, tears forming in the corners of your eyes due to the burning feeling.

"A boy you didn't know surely had a fever effect on you, Y/n. I wish I had that effect on Yachi-san too."

"Wanna do it like Ou-sama?"

"No, no. I'll do it much better."

"Get out. Both of you."

Kei and Tadashi mumbled through their breaths, pouting and blaming each other as they got up and really went out of the clinic to go on with their topic.

"So noisy." Ran mumbled as she ghosted a hand on your forehead. Your lips curled up slightly at the gesture. "You're still hot. I used your phone earlier, texted your brother to get you. 39°C Y/n, can't believe you really went to school like this."

You smiled at her. "No fever this morning. Maybe because of the cold rain." And you were surprised your voice got hoarse. You swallowed hard and felt a pain in your throat, eyes squinting at the feeling.

Liar. You stayed up there all night until your legs hurt because you can't sleep. That's why you're burning up right now.

"Is she okay?"

You heard a new but familiar voice out of ajared door of the clinic. It's that same boy from before you fainted. You chewed your cheeks, remembering what'd happened.

"The girl that doesn't know you is already awake, Tobio."

"Don't tease Ou-sama like that. Should be hardーHey! Where are you going?"

Ran quickly got up on her seat and peeked at the door. You could see her glaring at Kei and Tadashi through the slight gap of the curtain from your bed. The duo behind the door went silent by it.

"Go ahead to the practice when homeroom's over. I'll wait for Y/n's brother." She went back to your side and sat at her chair while dialing in her phone. "You're still dizzy, Y/n?"

You shook your head and smiled.

"Tobio, can you please please gather Y/n's things and bring it here in the clinic?ーAh, no butsーYes, Tobio. Let the two idiots help you if you can't do it alone.ーYes. Bye."

She sighed and looked at you, her smile felt tired. "Don't know what to feel, really. But we'll talk after your fever's gone, okay?"

You nodded and suddenly felt drowsy all of a sudden through her silent hums and peaceful atmosphere, with the still calming rain outside. Can't practice today, huh. You're dumb, Y/n.

Embarassing.

Embarassing.

You're embarassing, Kageyama Tobio!

If people hasn't seen a much grumpier Tobio, then they would see it now as he trots through the halls to your classroom, Class 2-4. Still irritated about Kei and Tadashi's teasing, and Ran's favor that includes your things. Wait, scratch the latter, it's not irritating if it includes you.

He noticed Shoyo came out of his room to peek on him, and he hated how his eyes linger on him. Tobio glared at him as he passes but Shoyo ignored it and followed him to your classroom anyway.

And Tobio ignored the wide eyes, snickers and murmurs when he entered your room, went straight to your desk and plop on your chair scanning your things before carefully organizing your things into your cute bag. It was not long when the two idiots Ran mentioned came back from the clinic, brows up in his figure, and seating back to their respective chairs just behind your desk and Ran's.

"She has gifts too, under."

"Help me." He growled at Tadashi who just grinned at him, still feeling the aftershock of the embarassment an hour ago, but it was not long too when Tadashi decided to help. Because there were really many small ones, compared to Ran's big packs of chocolates.

Tobio noticed Shoyo hovering, watching, keeping an eye at the chocolates and on Tobio, pale orange brows furrowed and lips upturning to a pout. "She rejected you."

The two idiots didn't really tried hard to suppress their laughs, much to his dismay, but he just ignored them and continued on picking up the chocolates. Until he found a box with a familiar name on it.

It was a box of chocolates from a boy in his class. His face soured at the sight of strawberry and cream colored chocolates under the transparent film and tossed the box to Kei's desk. "Snack." And the three guffawed, immediately dividing the chocolates inside to four.

Tobio kept inspecting your chocolates, tossing the ones from the senders that he knew to Kei's desk like the first one. And he stopped at one in a little pouch, read the tag and snapped his scalding eyes to Tadashi who immediately raised his hands in surrender.

"Obligatory! Got a same one for Ran and Yachi-san too! Look! The same rose colored pouch!" Tobio readily ignored him and tossed the pouch to Kei's desk while Shoyo rummaged in Ran's chocolates too.

"Hey! Put that back in her pile!"

The three went as noisy as they get while sorting your chocolates, leaving Kei in an immeasurable agony in the wake of his realization that he forgot his headphones. "I hate White Day."

Your classmates stared at the scene at the back of their classroom, enjoying the way Tobio didn't deny them the showcase of his possessiveness in terms of who must give you chocolates. And he thinks you might hate him after this but he pleads in his mind that you'll be patient with him for he doesn't know how to act when it comes to youーhis first romantic feeling. He shall maybe ask Ran for advice on how to act, which he already did and obviously failed but it's all on his incompetence, or an advice from his sister Miwa. He closed his eyes as he pictures her sister's grinning and teasing.

"What. Are you four. FUCKING. Doing?"

Tobio saw Ran entered the room and immediately was seething when she assessed the situation, saw the pile of chocolates in Kei's desk, and on a plastic bag dangling in the side of your desk, and on Shoyo who was already munching out of a box of chocolates in Kei's desk, Tadashi in mid-pick from it, too.

Tobio pouted as he turned his head away from her eyes and immediately gathered the rest of your chocolates and stuffed it all in the plastic bag he pulled from one of your classmate for your chocolates. And with the flowers he bought for you, he stood and left with your things in his arms.

When he reached the clinic's door, the little flowers he purposely picked wrapped in delicate rose gold wrapping paper shake and it was a while when he realized it was his hand that's shaking. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, creasing the paper more in his hold. Then he opened the door.

There are a few moments that left Tobio scared and running, or extensive fear that'll leave him dead, that'll make him wish he's dead. Being abandoned by his teammates, being left out, or Ran, Oikawa, or the both of them.. and Atsumu, too. But Ran's the scariest of the people out there, or maybe his sister when he'll leave his dirty dishes in the sink. Orー

This.

He thought you were still sleeping. He thought he was gonna just drop your things beside your sleeping figure, and maybe revel at your sleeping face a few seconds to engrave in his mind for the days to come, and then leave silently. He thought gravely wrong.

Your attention turned to him, cutting off the conversation you had with your brother at the sudden sound of the clinic's door opening. Tobio's knees was buckling when you met his dark blue eyes, and he somehow melted on the spot.

"Yes?"

And Tobio's eyes fell on a boy older than him, might already a college student ,he thought. Tobio was sensing a protective stance from the older boy as he glides in the room achingly slow and guard up like a prey carefully prancing to a predator's cave praying to go unnoticed and unscathed.

"My things!" In Tobio's peripherals, you attempted to jump out of bed but the boy beside you held you down in the bed. He fought the desire to look at your pale face and settled your things down carefully to an empty chair near your bed, his flowers on top of the pile.

He shuddered when he remembered what you'd said barely two hours ago, and he wanted to leave right now and he would. Tobio's bow was rushed and his feet was shuffling fast, covering the distance of your bed to the door when you suddenly called out a "Thank you, Kageyama!"

His shuffling momentum was hard to resist as he closed the door and took a few steps more before he registered what you just called him out for. He was left confused as he hastily made his way back to his own room, your words, your voice that he swears was like a siren calling onto him replaying in his mind like his GC ringtone. And he slowed down, relaxing his pace and a soft smile plastered in his face.

And the rest of the classroomsーinfested with his sheepish admirersーhe passed didn't let that sight pass by, and bet that they knew what happened in your classroom, an incident that got them bitter with you and of how you responded to their King. Yet no one will dare touch you as the days went by, afraid of the consequences of their pathetic bullying.

But you did mind Tobio's actions because one, your newfound haters would stare at your every move, much when you're alone. You wanted to confront them but it might ignite something that shouldn't, so you let them.

Two, the note Tobio left with his irises are bugging you til you fall asleep, for nights.

swearing 'am not a stalker but seeing you gliding thru ice with confidence gives warmth in me to strive harder in mine too. irises for you, my confidence.

You scoffed firsthand, thinking What confidence? He even walked out on me.; thinking about how did he knew about your sport. You were sure you were secretive because you didn't want to announce to the world what you're doing, and letting others see you compete and then, failing in front of their eyes. You don't like that. But the second time you stared and really look at the irises, it somehow gave you the same thing Tobio thought you gave him. And his penmanship somehowーdon't judge Y/n.

Third was this. Tadashi courting Hitoka and immediately getting a yes from her. If it happened a month before receiving the irises, you might already be crying your heart out to sleep. Strange. It wasn't as painful as you imagined it would be. Your unrequited feelings for Tadashi of a year was somehow wavering without you noticing. And it gave you confidence to talk to him eye to eye now, brave that he won't see anything other than genuine happiness for him and his girlfriend.

And fourth, you didn't hear from Tobio since that day. Sure, you dwell on the same floor, on the same building, and on the same school but no news of him, even at the slightest sighting. And you were curious why. You're sure he's thinking he was rejected, because that was what Ran told you when she talked to you about that as soon as your fever's gone. Shoyo reportedly assumed you rejected Tobio, and the whole Karasuno population was thinking that was it.

But no. God no.

You were clearly misunderstood, but no crying on spilled milk right now. You'd let the others think what they want to think. What bothers you is what Tobio might think of you.

"You're strange. But don't worry, he's okay with everything you can give him, Y/n. And he didn't gave up on you. Spoken directly from his mouth. Though, he's really really busy right now."

Ran was talking in a moderate tone, ignoring the fact that Kei and Tadashi might be listening to them even if they had their own conversation on your backs. And she winked at you.

"You're interested with Tobio now huh?"

You scoffed and sat against your chair properly. "No." But Ran didn't buy that answer as the events after that Friday held evidence.

Hyacinths with a bit of white tulips graced your desk as you came up that Monday and it smelled so sweet, it calmed your weary bones from the kind of practice you had that weekend. Your classmates present at that minute were already teasing you with Tobio and you just had to shake your head in hopes that they will stop with the teasing.

forgive me. i don't want to hover around and pressure you, impose myself to you. love watching you from afar doing things you love. still uncertain about what you think of this, and i care about that, but i'm not gonna give up on you. that, i assure you, my hyacinth.

"Ah, Y/n-san." Ashen colored hair peeked from the door and you remembered him from one of the boys that lingered with Ran last school year. You don't know his name, but his trademark hair had made you remember who he is, well, who was he. You pursed your lips thinking you don't have a clue on what was his name.

The boy bowed to your classmates in excuse and made his way to you, carrying a messily gift-wrapped box. He handed it to you, grinning. "He said you'll need it so use it."

"Huh? Whー"

"Just take it, Y/n-san. Please." He nudged the box on you when you pushed it slightly back to him. "They'll be late. Ran-san's scary today."

"Okay." You trailed your fingers to the flowery designed wrapper as you placed it on your desk. "What's your name?"

"Yokiro-des!"

You nodded, "Yokiro-kun, tell Kageyama-kun that I appreciate this, but he need not do this.." You trailed in your last phrase, which saddened the boy's face.

"Y/n-san, Kageyama-san's really smiling lately, and out of nowhere. He's also more focused on volleyball, heard him and Ran-san talking about working him off to get picked on World Youth camp this year."

Why was the kid telling you all this? You were maybe too confused that it reflected on your face to which he chuckled as more of your classmates piled into the room, eyeing you both.

"What I am saying is that, he's more motivated now because of you, and we are liking that change. Though, Suga-san said not to pressure you.. but please Y/n-san.. let him do these things to you." And he bowed in front of you, shocking you. You immediately held his shoulders to stop him from bowing, and he did, smiling as he straightened up his back.

"Kageyama-san's a good man, Y/n-san."

Tobio sneezed and sneezed as he went on setting for Shoyo for the spike-receive drill Ran had made them practice, Tadashi and Kei on the other side receiving.

"Are we not done yet?" Shoyo whispered to Tobio as Ran ranted out to Tadashi and Kei again.

But Tobio's attention wasn't with him, nor on Ran, nor anyone in the court. It was on the other side of the building, on a girl talking to his kouhai who he asked to give the gift.

"And you! Tobio! Why are your fingers bloody? It's smudging on their arms and hands!" Shoyo just noticed his hands and irked out, getting his towel and wiped his blood-smudged hands.

Tobio sighed and looked at Ran, "Can we go now? I can't fail any subjects this summer."

Ran scowled at him and walked out from the court. He sighed again and went for his tumbler in the side of the court.

"Thank you, Ou-sama."

"Oy! Ran! Your shoes!"

"I HATE YOU!"

In normal days, Tobio might've let Ran drag on with her vents about her boyfriend but not now. He's gonna be late for Math and he can't always take Tadashi to tutor him for that, after he knew what was he to you accidentally. Ran somehow mentioned it, just the surface of it, never intentional to spill it to him, but it's all the same.

And he's trying so so hard not to hold that up on Tadashi, his friend obviously was oblivious of you having a crush on him, he almost thinks that the trio is as dense as they can be.

The whole month after that courting incident was intense for him. He rashly told Ran to give him doubles of what she can give to him, making his academics also a priority, too. And the weekends were with Miwa, learning how to knit, or with his Eita-san and his guitar, or secretly with you, watching your routines.

The latter was his calm through his stormy month, and it will be through the times to come. And the thought of you will always be with him, even during the time when he was really picked for World Youth. The Karasuno team was overjoyed of that feat, and you are, too, when Ran relayed to you the news. I mean, that's World Youth, whoa great feat, you thought.

"Tell him I'm proud of him, Ran. Okay?"

You heard a collective teasing hum at your backs and you smacked Tadashi's thigh that was just behind you. They were teasing more through the month after the hyacinths, their other volleyball kouhais are in it too whenever they have the chance, him in a distance watching with his blueberry eyes. And you wanted to let him know that you loved the rose colored earmuff and a dark blue scarf with your messily knitted name in white. use it whenever you skate, hoping this is not imposition. just want to keep you warm, cant get you fevers now. you have to continue practicing. i believe in you.

"Where's the World Youth now? Still in Poland?" Tadashi asked through the lunch one day after Tobio's camp started. You, fourー well six because Shoyo and Hitoka are here too in Tobio's absenceー were sharing tables to have lunch together.

"Tobio said it's Norway this year, and two weeks. Good thing he doesn't have failed subjects this year." Ran sighed in relief and quirked a brow on you, and winked making Hitoka chuckle in your side. "He did good Y/n."

You unconsciously nod and smiled as you ate and Shoyo snickered, earning your attention. In that swift moment, he immediately put down his phone and went on eating, and Kei noticed that.

"Do that again with me, Hinata."

"You only want to stimulate him, Kei."

"That's the point, Ran." Kei grinned and reached out for your hand across the table. "Exchange seats with her, Tadashi-kun. Can't slip this chance to torture his simpleton head." He murmured low that made you blush, much more when Tadashi snickered and abide to Kei's schemes, transferring your bento on Kei's side.

Your brows knitted when Kei wrapped his arm around your waist as soon as you took your seat, "Just for a picture Y/n. This will turn out good, I promise." He whispered in your ear, breathy and you glanced at Shoyo grinning, taking pictures of you and Kei.

"Don't want him to feel insecure." You mumbled back at him that froze him in his seat, stared at you in awe. The others with you can't make out what you said, but Kei did, he was so close how could he not hear you. Kei cleared his throat and took his hand away from you, leaned away in silent apology.

"Don't send that, Hinata."

"But I already sent it at the GC."

You pursed your lips as they synched movement, pulling out their phones. You wanted to lean on Kei to take a look but it's inappropriate for you after what you've said, but he sensed you wanted to know what's happening and did the unthinkable.

They guffawed amidst the incessant dings went on from their phones, and a soft ding from yours, and it went on. You pulled your phone while your eyes are on them watching you fish out your phone.

☆ VOLLEYBALL IDIOTS - MAIN ☆

OWL | Akinori

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! @Tobio Kageyama

CAT | Mori

That's fast unlike @Tobio Kageyama

DT | Mai

What the hell, Kei! That's foul!

JZJ | Yuuji

@Tobio Kageyama

@Tobio Kageyama

FOX | Tsumu

Invite her to the Okinawa trip next week!

We'll have more fun without Tobio!

CRW | Koushi

@Kei Tsukishima! 😤

CRW | Ryuunosuke

WHAT THE HELL! THE BRO CODE @Kei Tsukishima!

OWL | Yukippe

LMAO! @Tobio Kageyama my condolences

ITC | Motoya

Oh ho ho ho @Tobio Kageyama

SJ | Hajime

Not good Kei but LMAO

@Tooru Oikawa @Tobio Kageyama

CAT | Tetsu

🤦‍♂️

FOX | Samu

Hey! Stop teasing them!

@Tobio Kageyama

FOX | Rintaro

LOL! @Tobio Kageyama say something! Stop with the seen!

*attaches 6 pictures*

Kei Tsukishima added you in the group chat

Kei Tsukishima changed your nickname to TOBIO'S Y/N

CRW | Tobio

Just woke up and this happens

Tobio Kageyama kicked Kei Tsukishima in the group chat

Shinsuke Kita added Kei Tsukishima in the group chat

Kei Tsukishima kicked Tobio Kageyama in the group chat

Keiji Akaashi added Tobio Kageyama in the group chat

OWL | Keiji

Stop it. You two. Have shame on Y/n-san. SMH.

CRW | Tobio

Good noon there in Japan, Y/n. Hope you're having a nice lunch. 🥰

I'm sorry for the commotion.

You can leave if you don't like it here. I'm sorry.

CAT | Lev

Why are you calm here but so angry in the other GC, Tobio?

CAT | Sou

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

CRW | Tadashi

LEV!

STZ | Eita

LOL! 😆

FOX | Rintaro

I swear I don't know him

TOBIO'S Y/N

It's okay @Tobio. I'll be staying if y'all dont mind. Feel free to kick me anytime. And good morning! Have your stretches and breakfast.

And that was Kei's idea. I'm sorry.

CRW | Ran

First interaction through phone 👀

CRW | Yuu

👀

SJ | Akira

👀

JZJ | Hana

👀

OWL | Kaori

👀

STZ | Taichi

@Morisuke Yaku, tea!

CAT | Mori

🍵

CRW | Tobio

Okay, then stay 🥰 I hope you wont mind them being noisy.

FOX | Aran

Contrasting from GC to GC, I see.

TOBIO'S Y/N

Be yourself guys. Please don't mind me.

Happy to meet you all. 😊

You heard Kei and Tadashi laughed at their phones, typing away but nothing from them came up to the GC. You quickly considered what was said that there's really another GC where Tobio went amok. You smiled and patted Kei's shoulder before continuing your lunch, and Shoyo captured that again, sending it to the GC where Tobio's cursing Kei out and about. The agony of Tobio being halfway across the world is unsurmountable, he wanna strangle Kei like hell.

And you were really invited to the week-long Okinawa summer trip happening that weekend, but you had to decline. First, you're busy with the practice and the national competition you're preparing for is four months away, you have to focus. And second, it's kinda off thinking that Tobio is out of the country and doing everything he can to improve himself and you are just gonna go with his friends and laze out from practice. If he's working hard, you'll have to work hard too.

You shook your head at the thought as you untie your boots and blades and change to your slip-ons, keeping the skating footwear in your reserved locker in Sendai Ice Rink. It's already 7:33pm and you're hungry as hell, should go home directly, but the skies had plans.

"Y/n, someone asked me to give these to you." The friendly guard handed you a bouquet of red carnations, a box of pizza and is this chicken?, and an umbrella. Your eyes widened at the sight of it. You knew who was it from, you don't have to ask. He came home already.

"Where's he?"

As you were running, you're aware that the skies are having lightning shows and distant thunders are audible. It might rain soon. But you held the umbrella on one hand, the foods on your other, bouquet tucked into the plastic, bag with your tumbler, polaroid and towels not so heavy on your back.

missed your voice. missed how you seem to dance in my eyes. missed how your eyes glitter everytime i sneak a glance on you. missed you. so much. sorry for being away without saying a proper bye. wont do it again. hope red carnations can express enough the longing I have to see you.

For the past two weeks, you were left wondering about how you feel about Tobio after Kei said to sort out your feelings and work around it. You were left wondering how will you react if ever he's in front of you, standing, staring back at you even if he's got nothing to say; wondering how will you feel when he spills his heart for you just a little, face to face, again. How would you feel right now. How these months changed your perception of him, how he evolved in your eyes.

You have to see him, right now.

Heavy drops of rain came while you're halfway to the bus stop, huffing, catching your breaths, you opened the umbrella and went on running, wishing for Tobio to still be there. He still has to be there.

And you're thankful that the gods had answered your prayers, because in a distance, you can see Tobio's standing figure under the bus stop's shed, enjoying the rain in his fingertips, luggage just beside him. And he looked captivating. You stopped running and walked slowly as cars from the exit of the parking lot of the ice rink went by. Your eyes are still training on Tobio, basking his pouting side-profile to which you scoffed.

And he may have heard you scoffing through the sound of the rain and thunder because he had turned his head to you in surprise, as cars still pass by in front of you, his blueberry eyes still as deep and inquisitive. You can feel the hairs on the back of your neck rising at the seem-familiar but unknown feeling you can't deny you have been feeling when he's around you like this. This is some sort of a confirmation is it? You smiled at the thought as you watched the cars pass and to him.

He has many instances to which you make his heart skip a beat, and this was his worst one. He can feel that his heart did skip a beat, his throat constricting, eyes maybe watering, breathing heavy and raspy, hands all clammy and sweaty on the handle of his luggage, and wobbly legs. He can feel it to his bone, that he missed you. And you're standing just a few meters away from him, cars passing between the two of you, his umbrella in your hand, the food he ordered and the bouquet on the other. Your hair's all messed up and your breaths ragged, he thought maybe you ran all the way here to catch up to him and it made his heart swell a bit more.

He huffed as he composed himself, Eita, Tooru and Hajime's words kept ringing in his ears: Breathe in and breathe out. Don't scare her away, Tobio. Be clear and straightforward on your intentions, no sugarcoating. But don't give up even if things go wrong, it'll be alright.

Tobio watches you as you glanced up to the cars and back to him, a small smile plastered on your face, to which he feels all giddy. He's too whipped for you.

As soon as the cars were gone, you made your way to Tobio's space and shot a playful quirk on your brows that left him stunned.

"Okaeri, Kageyama."

You saw him steady his breath and huffed, smiling, which surprised you. "Tadaima, Y/n."

You smiled back as you walk past him to the bench of the bus stop. "Let's eat these together." You sat and tap the space beside you and Tobio made his way there and sat, all nervous.

"It's for you. I-I can't eatー"

"C'monー" You placed the pizza and chicken between the two of you, the flowers and your bag atop his luggage. "ーI'm hungry but I can't finish these all."

He squeaked an "Okay." to which you laughed lightly, biting your lip to control the laughter when you saw his face contorted in realization that his voice failed him.

"Don't be so nervous. Won't bite." You winked at him as you got a piece of pizza and offered it to him. "Eat." Pouting, he bowed his head and took the pizza slice you offered.

"Can't believe you went straight here from the airport." You took your own slice and ate, eyeing his luggage. "What time did you arrive?"

Swallowing his bite, he turned to you, "Arrived at Haneda by 3:30pm, then here by 5:45? Bought these at the station."

You offered another slice to him, eyes drifting to the flowers as he took the slice. "You should've went straight home and waited for Monday to see me." Lightning flashed through the skies as you spoke. "You should've went for a proper dinner with your family as you've been away for two weeー"

"I wanna see you immediately after I arrived here in Miyagi, Y/n, before I get to see everyone else."

You felt your heart hammering through the thunder and you can't help but smile. You put your hand down your thighs, with the slice in your hand, quivering breaths eliciting maybe from the soft winds, you wished it was from the winds.

"You know, Kageyamaー" You instinctly rubbed your knees with your free hand, head low as your voice. "You make me feel giddy."

You heard his soft hum at the end of the thunder, "You make me feel giddy, too."

The heavy rain failed to hide the soft tension between you and Kageyama. You stared at the highway where the cars and buses pass by through the growing minute of unspoken silence and soft breathy chuckles, the slice of pizza in your hand ignored for a while.

"I'm sorry Y/n." He said after the chuckles between the both of you curbed. "Am I going too fast? Am I pressuring you in some way?"

You smiled and hummed, shaking your head on his question, still can't manage an eye contact with him knowing it'll take your feelings a little bit higher and deeper.

"Not at all." You cleared your throat to spill the thoughts that have been messing with you through these months. "I should be the one to apologize. I spoke without thinking, might've offended you."

This time, Tobio was the one who shook his head and wide eyed, staring at you still head low and with a soft smile. "Y-you made me realize something, Y/n. That we should know each other more before getting to that stage. We still have our own individual goals to accomplish and I want us both to reach them beforeー"

Anxiousness was building up in his chest and the next words might've been a little louder, disturbing the peaceful sound of the heavy rain and thunder.

"If you really wanna be with me, Y/n. T-that's if you really wanna be with me." But it went breathy through the end, his voice wavering in embarassment and nervousness.

You were too stunned to speak for a few minutes, eating the slice to ease your nerves. And the anticipation for the worst gets the better of Tobio, his thighs were popping and you might've noticed it because you kicked his shoe gently and smiled at him, staring at his blueberry orbs under the light of the bus stop shed.

"I was really anxious of what you might've thought about what I blurted out of shock, of what you might've thought about me. And that, I might wanna pin more memories of you in my corkboard.. Kageyama Tobio."

You averted your eyes as you felt your heart throbbing on your throat, swallowing a large lump as you go. His blueberry eyes held storms, and you fought the feeling of being swallowed because you might like it there, too fast, too soon.

"And I like the thought of us reaching our own goals first, coz I might wanna date a world-class setter someday."

You heard him suck his breath harshfully and choke on the pizza he's eating. You fumbled fast on the side of your bag for your tumbler and handed it to him, to which he took immediately and drank from. You laughed when his choking calmed, wide eyes staring at you, lips opening and closing in attempts to speak out.

"Calm down, will you?" You spoke through your laughs, finishing the slice of pizza and taking a piece of chicken.

"I also wanna date a world-class figure skater someday, too!"

Your laughs went louder, Tobio can't get enough of the image you're showcasing in front of him right now. It's like a small rainbow amidst the brewing storm. He can't thank the people enough who were responsible of pushing him to confess to you. Without them, he might never got a chance to be here, witnessing the spectacle of your laughs that sounded more thunderous than thunder itself, shaking his whole being.

"Can we take a picture?" You asked while taking out your polaroid from the bag, setting the flowers on Tobio's lap who nodded sheepishly.

You took two pictures out from your polaroid and a ton out of your phone and his. Some of those were wacky, some just him eating, or you eating, or both of you eating. One with you holding the bouquet, one of him laughing because you told a joke before you hit the shutter and one of him trying his best to pry your fingers from your phone to which it resulted to a picture with your faces squished together for the whole frame,his face all scrunched up and you laughing.

"I'm saving this last one. This is exclusive." You took notice of his pouting face to which you laughed again. "I'm uploading one pic and I'll be tagging you cutie, is that okay?"

He nodded, pouting while eating his piece of chicken. "Just be ready to be bombarded with comments." He offered you a chicken piece. "Continue eating, the bus will come by in a few minutes."

You took a bite on the chicken he's holding out next to your mouth while your attention and hands are still on your phone and posting the picture. Welcome back, future world-class setter. Then you tucked your phone back in your bag and took the chicken from him and ate.

You continued casual talks with Tobio as you both ate and wait for the bus. Getting to know him from his perspective was actually better than how Ran and the others view of him. From his family, to how he started volleyball, up to how he begged for Ran to drag him to where he is right now, the star-setter of Miyagi next to that Oikawa Tooru that he had mentioned.

He was raw, and part of you wanted to be a part of that rawness.

And Tobio could feel the crows in his stomach whenever he asks you questions and you answer either with a giggle or a smile. He swears he tries to pay attention to your answers, and he did, but with the auditory memory of it being mixed with your giggles and smiles. He wanted to embed them all in his mind.

"Thank you, Y/n. For giving me a chance." Tobio blurted out as he takes the umbrella from your hand, kissing that hand tenderly and respectfully as the bus finally comes into view. He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb, creating gentle circular strokes as to which you both stared at as the bus came to a halt.

You squeezed his hand and tugged lightly to make him follow you into the bus, glad your stop and his are just on one way, but that just means you have barely 15 minutes until you both will be dragged back to your priorities, your goals.

The bus was half empty when you both piled in. You sat by the window, hand still intertwined with his as he sat beside you. You both felt the drain from your athletic bodies as you leaned on his shoulder and his head on yours, the gentle hum of the running bus along the rain, the hushed murmurs of the passengers and Tobio's breaths giving you peace.

"Thank you for having the courage to ask me out, Kageyama. Now, I'm assuring you that I won't entertain anyone but you. I wanna make this work, because I'm starting to like you." You mumbled through your breaths, confident enough that he heard every single word you said, and he did because he chuckled and his next words will leave you fumbling and giddy all over again.

"Then stop calling me Kageyama, Y/n. You have to get used on Tobio or anything other than my last name because you'll be bearing that in the future, too."

You sucked your breath and froze, and he did too, maybe surprised at what he had said, both of you resembling deers in the headlights. You swallowed hard as you felt your face burn, entangling your hand that he held just to cover your face and leaned back on the seat, with a sound between a groan and a whimper.

"IーI'm sorry. Got ahead of myself. I'm sorry Y/n."

You peeked at him and he had his eyes shut close and he was mumbling incoherent phrases you can't understand, maybe cursing himself for what he had just said.

"I'm really curious as to why Shoyo said you're not good with your words, Tobio." You brushed the back of your hand with his to get his attention. "Don't worry." You cooed at him, smiling when he caught your gaze. "If things go well, we'll get there. Let's do task focus first, hm?"

"Can you promise that it'll be me when you reach the top, Y/n?" His voice was low as his head hung, laced with shame, pursing his lips, like he don't wanna utter those words. "I'm really pushing my luck, am I?"

"I can't promise.." You trailed and smiled at him, "But can I try my best and show you?"

His eyes were wide-eyed, and you grinned at the sight of it. Who else won't be surprised? Just four-five months ago, it was Tadashi, but now.. you have started falling for this man in front of you, and hard. The bus stop has witnessed the evolution of your feelings, and it's all thanks to Kei, and to anyone that brought Tobio to you.

The feeling isn't like with Tadashi, it's calm even when the surrounding elements were on rageーthe eye of the storm, a serene feeling. And you can't deny that you have the feeling that with Tobio, it's where you belong, all along. So you wanna do everything to make this right.

Now the challenge to the top is before you.

"I'll wait for you, even if it takes forever Y/n."

You smirked. "Why? Are you already on top, huh? You just represented Japan to the world, that doesn't mean you're at the top already."

"HEY!" His voice went louder, clearly offended and you just giggled at his scrunched up face that faltered at the sight of your laughing eyes. The passengers of the bus glanced up at both of you, embarassment momentarily creeped up your skins. Tobio immediately composed himself and huffed, turning away his face from you, chin up.

"The coach of Italy's Ali Roma was there in the World Camp and he said he'll recruit me and wait for me to take the offer. Poland's ZAKSA too." It was his turn to smirk at you, who has your jaw already dropped at what you just heard.

"Shut.. up.." You're still in the trance of shock. Italy and Poland are world-renowned in the world of volleyball, along with Argentina and Brazil, and Tobio was just invited to two of those countries. "Oh my God, Tobio."

He huffed and took your hand, "I planned to inform you after your national championships in November to reduce the pressure butー" His smile was soft now, blueberry irises staring at you. "I want you to be included in every decision I will make, even if it's still not appropriate in the state of our relationship now."

"I don't know what to feel. You're pressuring me but you're too sweet." Your voice was breathy as you leaned back to your seat, hand clasped hard at his. "But I won't give in on the pressure. Task focus."

He kissed your hand again and gave it a squeeze, somehow sending you your needed support. "You can do it, I know you can. I'll be right here, your number 1 supporter."

And you held onto what he said, onto all of his words as you pin your pictures with him in your corkboard along with the pictures of the bouquets he has given you.

Tobio was slumped on the hardwood floor of Fukurodani's volleyball court, eyes glued on his smartphone, with the rest of the teams on practice games on the courts. He came excusedーactually beggedーfor the games that late November afternoon as he watched you in his phone live from Niigata, on a national championship participated by the whole country. He asked to be with you in your competition but you vehemently declined, reminding him of both your goals.

He doesn't know much how the competition works but he knows your basic moves and some of the names of those twirls and loops. What he was waiting for was if you could do that quad-axle you've been practicing for the last 4 months. Well, he doesn't mind if you could do it or not, you're still the best for him without that move but you specifically told him it was important because that move equivalents to a large point. He whined first, reminding when you almost got yourself injured, but he somehow put his faith on you that you can do it, in a condition that you won't be injured, ever.

He saw you gliding into the rink, and his nerves all went perked up. He breathed out, puffing his cheeks to which Ran saw from the bench and took a picture of him, sending it to the GC, where the others were also watching online after Tobio told them you're competing. Atsumu even teased you that you should've invited them, the college ones, to watch live in Niigata, Tetsurou placing bets on that quad-axle and Eita whining why didn't you use any of his songs for your performance, or even in your free skate one.

And you were thankful for them, as you started gliding with the fast-paced music through the ice, wishing all your routines will go well, and reminding yourself that this will be a one step closer to Tobio.

And Tobio prayed to the gods as he watched, practically wishing for everything to go well with you not falling and uninjured, and maybe a bonus: winning. And he did shouted victorious when that anticipated quad-axle was perfectly executed along the end of your performance, pulling the whole gym's attention to him, initially getting a heavy hand on his shoulders from Ran from the scare but he didn't care. Your hardwork for that stunt was paid off as later that early evening, you were announced as the national champion of the event.

In his high spirits, he played the last set of the practice game for the day, and of the training camp, and Karasuno dumped Inarizaki by 16:25.

And that Wednesday after the extended holiday, your win was celebrated by the whole school, not curious at all as to how they knew because Tobio posted your polaroid photo with him that night after winning, took a photo with the future world-class figure skater before anyone else does. And it melted your heart, now a bit more as you saw him waiting for you with the whole volleyball team in the hallway to your classroom, a bouquet of red dahlias in hand.

told you you can do it. congratulations on your first hurdle, on to the next one. will be with you every step of the way with full faith and confidence. you can overcome everything, i believe in you.

And the week after that, you received a text from the Figure Skating National Team, inviting you to join them as soon as you graduate high school. To your excitement, you bolted to Tobio's room, ignoring the calls of your english teacher as you storm through the halls, bounding and phone in hand.

Tobio was wide eyed when he saw you, immediately approaching you with concern, running his fingers to fix your hair and before he could blabber his concerns, you shove your phone into his face, making him more wide eyed and he hugged you maybe too tight you felt your bones nearly crush beneath his arms, teases from his classmates and maybe from those peeking to the hallway for the commotion were evident.

"Y/n! So proud of you! The National Team! It's the National Team!"

You smirked with pride seething through your skin as you pulled away, "Got there first. Hurry up, slow poke."

"Are you challenging me?"

"Kageyama, we're still in the middle of the class."

"C'mon, miss. It's rare to see Kageyama-kun like that!"

"Excuse me, Kimoto-kun?"

"Yep!" You snickered at him and bowed to his chemistry teacher. "We'll talk later." And you swiftly stood on your toes to place a kiss on his cheeks, much to his bewilderment, made his face burn like hell, and you were oblivious as you hop back to your classroom typing a reply to the National Team.

Tobio seethed through his teeth, in annoyance to the challenge and flusteredness and giddiness for your actions. He can't wait to be your boyfriend so he can kiss you properly. So he took the challenge a little more seriously.

You're rubbing your palms together as your team are voicing their words of encouragement for you, your eyes on him. He's just as nervous as you, with a few of the Olympic team on his back with their own words of encouragement.

Tobio mouthed a "Hug?" through the noise around both of you and you obliged, making a beeline to him and crushed yourself into his open arms. You immediately felt calm with his arms wrapped around you and you chuckled at your own realization as he kissed your head.

"Hey! Tobio! Her hair! Don't mess with it!"

"Ran. Let them. She's nervous."

"But plushie!"

You peeked at Ran and her husband with their twins and 3-month-old baby, but Tobio covered your eyes, "Don't peek on them. You'll get ideas too far off from our plans, and I might like it." You laughed because he read you too well, washing your nervousness and tension.

"I must winー"

He shook his head and kissed your forehead, brushing his fingers on either of your cheeks as you both heard your name getting called out to get ready.

"Go bring them your thunderstorm, and take your last step towards me. I'll be waiting."

Tobio never cared of you winning. Him knowing you're doing your best to make a name for the world to revel is enough for him, and he'll not dare say that in front of you, for he values the challenge you both made for yourselves four years ago in that bus home.

He saw you taking grand wins and heartbreak losses throughout these years and he's proud of you with all that he is, that you didn't gave up, determined to reach that goal. It makes him feel giddy, heart swelling more and more, thinking that he is one of your motivation, because he's waiting for you to reach the top where he already is.

You're already at the center of the Grand Prix Final event, gliding through the ice, after 3 qualifiers to which you aced and were seeded from the world championship last 9 months in Pyongyang, Korea and Milan, Italy. This is the perfect time to have grand slams within a year, and you'll be satisfied as your name would surely be resounded through the world like thunder.

While performing the song you picked and dedicated for Tobio, you can't help but to shed brushes of tears, remembering everything that has got you to this stage, what you did to get to him, all the pictures from your corkboard through the 4 years playing on your mind like a powerpoint. And Tobio stood there in awe as he watched you perfecting everything you have practiced for this day, cheers from his noisy olympic teammatesーwell, it's mainly Atsumu and Koraiーbehind him. And he can't help but sniff and wipe his tears rolling to his cheeks, making Ran's twins laugh at him.

And if you get the chance to glance up at him during the length of the performance, you smile and wink at him through your tears, the event umpires taking notice of that little action, soon taking notice of the Japan's Men's Volleyball National Team in the ISU Grand Prix Finals, too. And taking notice of the blueberry eyed man on which the focus was on you alone, ignoring the teases from his friends.

That moment will trend more than your 3 grand slam wins that year, as you finally kissed Tobio on his lips to which he pulled you more in for a deeper, much awaited kiss of four years, saying yes to being his girlfriend.

"Huh? I thought you're already in a relationship?" Korai blabbered as he inspected your trophy, Ran's 3-year old curious little girl on his lap inspecting the trophy too.

"He even bought a ring not long ago, Y/n."

Your eyes widen on a red-faced Tobio who was now battering Shoyo, with Toshi in between. You groaned as you covered your face of which you felt reddening too, and you feel your entire being getting giddy deep to your bones as your team went teasing as soon as they heard of it.

God, Tobio really knows how to fluster you even after all these years. You're convinced that he's the lightning of his own storm, and you're glad you were strucked with that lightning, meeting his expected effect, a thunder so loud it'd be heard across the world.

And you love him, and this time if he'll ask you that progressingly bold question, you know you'll not double take on saying yes this time.

Semi Eita | Sugawara Koushi | Kuroo Tetsurou | Akaashi Keiji | Sakusa Kiyoomi | Oikawa Tooru

Reblogs and interactions are appreciated. Theories will be entertained. Cassie 2023.

[iiboronii]

SOME MORE THINGS I WAS GONNA MENTION BUT SADLY THERE'S A LIMIT OF 30 TAGS:

Mayhaps that transition period from his gray to his green outfit was his suspenders era…….

He looks so FINE in suspenders it is a CRIME that he doesn't have them under his coat in the movie-

Biggering AU Onceler has them at least!!! There's a scene where he took off his tailcoat and hat and he's just pacing back and forth in his office all frustrated about something and Artic is just o/////o ASKLFD

One of these days I'm gonna draw him playing pool doing The Thing just you wait-

Also here are some Onceler AMV edit thingys I found from waaay back in the day! According to this post, Everybody Loves Me was something of an anthem for the fandom and it absolutely fits the main man himself ouo

And you're so fun to talk with too!!!!!! I am taking you by the hand and frolicking in a field and spinning around in circles with you :D

I HATE THE TAG LIMIT!!!!!!!

Also SUSPENDERS. OUGH. I'm thinking SO hard. I'm picturing him pacing around without the tailcoat and the hat RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK. It's altering my brain chemistry. Artic is just like me fr with her reaction LOL.

THE POOL THING. OUGHHHHHH YOU'RE KILLING ME. WHENEVER IT EXISTS I AM BEGGINF FOR A TAG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE <33333333

Wait the AMVs are soo <33. I miss AMVs do people still make them??? And it's also cute that there's basically a fandom anthem!!!! I love when fandoms claim things it's some of my favorite stuff to happen. AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME IS SOOOO FITTING FOR HIM AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

AND THANK YOU :DDDDD WE ARE LITERALLY IN THE TRUFFULA TREE VALLEY FROLICKING AND LOOKING AT SWOMEE SWANS AND POINTING OUT WEIRD CLOUD SHAPES TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER

[perseidlion]

What makes a show spawn fanfic?

The fanfic stats on Ao3 came out and it got me thinking about what makes a show or movie more 'fic-able' than others.

If you've been around fandom circles for awhile, you know that the amount of fic that's written for a property isn't directly proportionate to how popular it is. There are plenty of really popular shows with only a few thousand fics, and some niche, older or less successful shows with MASSIVE amounts of fic. I have shows I adore that I have zero fic ideas for, and shows I liked okay but gets my brain churning with a hundred ideas.

It relates, I think, to how much the world of that show or movie invites you to play in its sandbox. That could be through expansive and interesting worldbuilding and/or overarching metaconflicts. But it could also be because there's something fun and comforting about the world that makes people want to imagine more stories within it.

Then there are dynamics between characters that hit fanfic tropes. I don't mean that in a derogatory way. Tropes aren't a bad thing on the face of it. People conflate tropes with cliches and while there is definitely overlap, they aren't the same thing.

If a show or movie has some juicy enemies-to-lovers canon or potential, that's pretty likely to spark some fic. As does star-crossed lovers kept apart by circumstance. Or pining. Especially if the actors are pretty and have great chemistry.

And then there's the shows that fumble the ball. The show has all the pieces to really push fandom's buttons, but that potential is left on the table for some reason. Maybe because say, a romance arc wouldn't fit the tone of a gritty historical drama. Or the writers meant for the dynamic to be platonic but the actors had crazy chemistry. Or, especially in earlier days of fandom, there was potential for a queer relationship they were too cowardly or homophobic to pursue. Or, sadly, if a show with great potential was cancelled before its time, leaving threads unresolved and a fandom hungry for more stories. Hell, even a cliffhanger in an ongoing show will be gas in the tank for a fandom.

Some shows are excellent and solid and complete. They don't leave character dynamics unexplored in an unsatisfying way. The dynamics aren't particularly trope-y. The world is interesting but not the kind you want to sink into. There's a lot of seasons and lots of canon content that scratched the itch. As a result, that show might have a very small number of fics despite being popular and critically-acclaimed.

Meanwhile, over here is a little cancelled fantasy show that made use of some fun tropes in an interesting setting. The fic volume very quickly significantly exceeds how much source material there was. It spawns AUs and a bible worth of fanon. It maybe even spins off into completely original fiction.

There are of course, many excellent shows that also have an extremely big catalogue of fanfic. But there are also excellent shows with no fic, and mediocre shows with ten thousand fics.

The point is, the amount of fic a fandom has is not necessarily related to the quality of the source material OR how popular the show is. What makes a show launch thousands of fics is something more esoteric and hard to quantify.

All this to say, don't use Ao3 stats as some kind of fandom popularity metric. What it is really is, is a sandbox metric. It's a measure of how much that world invites people to play in it.

[wonderstruks]

I think we got some chemistry between us

Gareth x gn! Reader

Warnings: cursing, being friend zoned, a menstruation mention

Summary: The only person you wanted to ask you to homecoming didn't and when your on the committee a certain someone comes and sweeps you to the dance floor

● I DO NOT GIVE ANY PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BY COPIED ONTO OTHER SITES

The halls were buzzing with mindless chatter about the upcoming dance.

Girls fussed about what to wear and which boy would ask them, and boys discussed which chick would be worth their time.

Boys at Hawkins High were like dogs, they only had one thing on their mind.

All of them disgusted me except for the select few.

“(Y/n)!” I heard a yell and turned around.

It was Dustin, he greeted me with a geniue toothy grin.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please sign up with me for the dance committee?”

I laughed.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I got in trouble, and now I have to do it and I would rather not spend my whole night lonely!” He whined.

I shook my head.

“Let me think about it okay, Dusty.”

“Okay, but please (y/n)!”

The bell rang, and I turned on my heel, walking to my next class.

“See ya at lunch!”

Ugh, of course my next class had to be chemistry and of course I had to share it with Gareth.

He was a year older than me.

He flunked last year, and now he's redoing it.

Now him being In the class isn't what is the bad thing, it's my massive, enormous crush on him.

It's like when he's around, I can't contain myself.

I'm awkward and blushy, and I can't even pay attention to anything but him, and it's all his fault.

But the worst part is that I always make a fool of myself because we're friends.

Stupid fucking friends.

I didn't want to just be his friend, I wanted to be his everything.

Though he didn't see me like that, at least, I think.

It's hard to tell with Gareth.

One minute he'll call me a pet name and then go back to calling me dude.

I wasn't a “dude” though.

I was just hopelessly in love with him.

“Hey (y/n)! What's up dude?”

I felt myself cringe internally.

“Hey Gareth.”

“You ready for the torture of today's class?”

I giggled softly.

“It's not that bad.”

“You sure, sweetheart because I literally have no idea what has been going on for the past month.”

I took my seat and Gareth sat right beside me.

“Okay then if you don't know anything how are you even passing?”

“Cheating off of you, of course.”

I playfully scoffed and hit his arm, he laughed in response.

God, he was so gorgeous when he laughed.

His dimples poked out and his smile glistened.

He truly looked like a Greek God, so beautiful that even the heavens cried for him.

“Good morning class, find your seats! Today, we will be continuing-.”

I could even listen to the teacher drone on.

Instead, my mind decided to occupy itself with more important things, like watching Gareth's hands flex and noticing the way his veins curve.

“Hello, earth to (y/n)?”

“Huh?” I said, snapping out of my thoughts.

“Your lab or mine, sweetie?”

“Huh?” I felt myself starting to blush.

“We're doing a partner project.”

“Oh.” I nervously laughed.

“You weren't paying attention, were you?”

“Not a bit.”

He laughed and shook his head, his curls bouncing.

“Well that's just great, it's your fault if we cause an explosion, dude.”

I smiled.

“I'll blame it on you.”

Despite not paying attention for that class period, it went smooth sailing and me and Gareth actually managed successfully to complete the project.

I spent my next classes thinking about him.

I wanted him to so badly ask me to the dance, I could only imagine him dressed up all nice wearing a freaking bow tie.

He'd hold me while we danced, and he'd even kiss me.

It would be the perfect night.

There was no other guy for me but him.

Ever since I've met him, it's always been Gareth.

When the bell rang signaling lunch, my stomach spinned in circles, knowing I was going to see the boy who plagued my mind.

Already feeling nauseous, I chose to skip out on food and took my usual right beside Gareth.

My heart raced and my palms shook.

The things this boy did to me.

“Ah (y/n) have you thought about it yet?” Dustin asked, sitting across from me.

“Thought about what, Dustin?” Eddie questioned.

“I want (y/n)'s help on the homecoming committee, but they won't give me an answer!”

“Maybe I want to go, Dustin?” I interjected, my heart racing as Gareth turned his attention to me.

“You actually want to go to one of those?” Eddie busted out laughing and all the boys joined in.

“What's so bad about it?”

“What's so bad? What's so bad! Those 'parties' are just a popularity contest meant for total posers.”

Gareth jumped in and agreed with him.

“Absolutely everyone who goes to those things are assholes who peak in high school.”

My heart felt like it shattered.

I should've thought about this logically, there was no way Gareth would ever ask me to something like this.

Feeling defeated and humiliated, I stood up.

“Dustin, I'll help you.”

The boy smiled, and I wished I could share his enjoyment, but I couldn't.

I felt like an absolute fool.

________

The next day chemistry came and I dreaded it.

I couldn't face Gareth, especially after yesterday.

Just looking at him made me angry.

Why did he have to agree with Eddie?

God, I felt so dumb forever dreaming about going to a dance with him.

I sat at my lab, my head my laid in my folded arms.

“Hey dude, what's up!”

Dude!

I could not do this right now!

“Leave me alone, Gareth.” I spat out bitterly.

“Whoa harsh, is it that time of the month?” He joked lightly punching my shoulder.

I sat up and gave him a death glare.

“Sorry just joking.” He said realizing his mistake.

“You know what Gareth, not everything is a joke.” I spit out bitterly.

“What?” He was confused.

“Just leave me alone.” I grabbed my things and moved to a different seat, leaving him shocked.

Once class was over I raced to my next class, ignoring Gareth trying to talk to me.

When the lunch bell rang I simply just skipped it, hiding out in the library away from all the boys.

I realized how immature I was being, but I really couldn't do this.

I couldn't pretend everything was okay when my feelings were more than hurt.

Once school was over, I was making my way outside when I felt a hand grab me.

It was Gareth.

“Finally! We need to talk.”

I didn't respond, I just stared at him coldly.

“Dude if this is about this morning I'm so sor-”

“It's not about this morning!”

“Then what!”

“Are you really that clueless?”

“Hey!”

There was no going back now.

“I thought I was so obvious with my feelings. Maybe this asshole poser really wanted you to ask them to the dance.”

I shrugged his grip off and walked away.

Leaving him shocked once more.

_________

The night of the dance felt so bittersweet.

I wanted to be here, but just in different circumstances.

I would rather not be sitting here worrying over the ice melting for the refreshments.

Although I agreed to do this with Dustin, I hadn't seen him in a while making me think he ditched me.

I stood there sadly, jealous of all the couples dancing in front of me.

“Damn, that ice seems like it's melting.”

I turned to see Gareth.

He was all dressed up, just how I imagined it.

“Gareth?”

“Hey.” He smiled.

“What are you doing here?”

He grabbed my hand.

“Making it up to you.”

He pulled me on the dance floor.

It all felt so cheesy, as soon we got there a slow song started to play.

Gareth grabbed my waist and pulled me close, swaying us to the beat.

It all felt too perfect.

“I'm confused Gareth, why?”

“Because you're right I'm dumb, I've liked you for so long, and yet, I call you dude, I say whatever just to look cool like Eddie but this whole time I should've seen it, I should have seen you liked me, the real me. I know I fucked up (y/n) but if you'd have me, I will make it right this time.”

I smiled and pulled him in for a kiss.

He smiled into it and pulled me closer.

His lips fit perfectly with mine, they melted into each other.

I pulled away and looked in his eyes.

“You know Gare I think we got some real chemistry between us.”

“And I thought I was the one who had the good science puns.”

[beevean]

3, 4, 9, 10, 23 for the positive asks?

3) a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

Real talk? The LoI gang in total, sans Leon who I appreciated from the get-go and Walter who is a delicious bastard and doesn't need to be more lol. When I first played the game, I didn't like how Sara just died like that, I didn't like how Mathias appeared at the end of the game just to say "wife died, i'm the bad guy now" I didn't like how Joachim was an utter waste of a good design, and Rinaldo was just the shopkeeper to me. But after looking deeper into the fandom, I started to read more character analyses, about Sara being this spirit full of rage, Mathias' intense emotions and shaky morals, Joachim's intriguing backstory and potential as a wild ally, and Rinaldo's... odd relationship with Mathias himself.

(I wish I could see more of Elisabetha :< but I've read some cute headcanons!)

I also have grown fond of your morally questionable interpretation of Arikado, who previously I relegated to "Alucard but with a shitty design" (sorry my man has my least favorite Kojima design lol) :P

4) say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

I don't ship Alucard with anyone, but I like most of his ships in concept lol. Trevorcard? Trevor is just the Friend of All Time and he would be able to make Alucard accept himself and his cursed nature more, because he sees him as a person (and a honorable one at that) and not as Dracula's spawn. Richtercard? Ah, the parallels, the weight of their family legacy, the hot blooded guy who fought too much and the aloof guy forced to fight once more. Hectorcard? They'd be each other's anchors during Dracula's madness, and possibly reach a deep mutual understanding with their similar personalities.

(sorry, with all my might I don't see any sort of romantic chemistry between him and Maria, and I don't know Sonia enough :\)

9) a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

Belschine and Shalaura! I like them <3 I love how much Juste and Maxim respect and trust each other, they are by far the friendliest of rivals in the series, and bro you need to put both Friendship Bracelets™ to give Maxim the strength to fight Evil Maxim, that just speaks from itself. And Laura's insistence on seeing Shanoa smile is so cute (and also big mood), and you can tell that Shanoa, despite her lack of emotions, is aware that she would disappoint Laura and she doesn't wish to do so. They grow to care about each other :>

10) a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

brooooooo where do I begin

You, @the-crow-binary, @kachimera, @chumpovodir, @radiant-featherball, @aslgit, @howlingdemon13, @monochromatictoad (not the same CV but it's fine <3), and @woodchipp and @spinningbuster98 who are also Sonic mutuals <3 love y'all, I am so glad I found this circle <3

23) the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

Mh... I tend to not engage with other fandoms this way lmao. But I suppose I have learned enough about DMC by osmosis through Spinning to say that I like it :P

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

That Audacity live... I'm so tired of this bullshit. Why are women props to Hybe/Jungkook now? It's just fucking ridiculous. We barely saw the actress''s face, she had no lines, she literally just walked and sat and looked pretty and cold and aloof. Was she there to tell a story? To help sell the lyrics? Because that did not happen at all. Her being there untouchable and making Jungkook put on a show for her did not make Jungkook's performance more exciting or convey love or passion. SNTY and Seven are supposed to be passionate love songs so why is the female love interest always uninterested? Do they think unrequited love is more romantic? I mean, between the half-assed interactions with a faceless women he has no chemistry with and Jungkook's inability to act, instead of a normal performance we got Jungkook looking like a kid trying to impress an older woman who doesn't know he exists. He always looks so immature and young next to his "love interests", even when they're pretty much the same age. So, instead of being able to enjoy the performances I was annoyed by the "plot".

What the fuck was even Seven? Not taking about the woman, but the camera work??? My head was spinning, what a headache. Also, the dancers humping the floor is hands down the most embarrassing and pathetic move in any BTS choreo. My dad pointed it out the other day when we watched JK's NY stage.

Jungkook looked great in the second outfit, but it was hard to care when he again sang the Jack Harlow version of 3D. I got Closer to You, which is my favorite b-side in Golden, but also had to endure more of JK being clearly head over heels for the woman. When he circled her on the table with his hand stretched out towards her back lmao? She just stood there like a statue unaware so Jungkook looked like a creep. My god, this is terrible execution. Hybe wants to sell boyfriend JK so much, but with zero commitment so Armys can put themselves in the woman's shoes and no one is too upset with seeing Jungkook with a woman. They are literally using women as props. Except So-hee, they never have a personality, facial expressions, or lines. Hybe does not pass the Bechdel test. It doesn't make Jungkook look good or immature. He literally has never looked like he was in love or in lust with anyone. If anything, he either looks like a creep or like a looser (don't like that word but don't know how else to express it). I laughed when Jungkook put down the mic on the woman's table lmao.

Side-note, the female dancers were so much better than dudes. I liked the Closer to You choreo, and the outfits were so cute!, though the end with Jungkook was a bit messy. It reminded me of Save Me choreo actually.

Anyway, I love Closer to You and the little choreo at the end, but the whole performance just left me so cold. There was no personality, heart, or warmth to it, which is hilarious since the woman being there was, arguably, to sell the romance of it all. The autotuned vocals, the unnecessary cuts and edits because of the "plot", the lack of singing (yes, I'm again complaining about this), and how empty and desolate the sets were... I didn't feel Jungkook's passion. I felt like he was just pretending to be someone else - again, selling boyfriend JK for the masses. Whenever I complain about using women as props with JK, my mom just says, unsurprised "they always put women in MVs for no reason, you know sex sells"... Like, yeah, but BTS used to be our escape from that bullshit...

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

yoooo I remember reading varjak paw as a kid. I honestly don't remember much about it other than his like spinning(?) cat fighting technique (???)

HE SUPER DID HAVE THAT, god, slow time moving circles shadow walking has been stuck in my head literally since elementary school, the VIBES of that whole book were absolutely impeccable

i remember being scared shitless by the Gentleman's pair of black not!cats and just absolutely hit by a truck about the

"I Am Very Well Thank You Please"

'stuffed toys' reveal, the ILLUSTRATIONS just. WHOO. OKAY. i feel absolutely zero compunctions putting this one up there on the "short stories you read that alter your brain chemistry" shelf tbqh

apparently there was a second one, which i didn't know about until i tripped over it at a library book sale and you bet your ass it came home with me, i still haven't read it yet but like. [long string of eyes emojis]

[siennamain]

when i tell you i am officially obsessed with the guy i went on a date with,,,, it lasted a 27 hours btw,,,,

and he's obsessed with me back,,, im,,, im throwing up, my head is spinning in a full circle, im speaking in tongues,,,

when i tell you that date was perfect, y'all need to believe me it was better than in the most romantic movie you've ever seen, that date was so ridiculously beautiful and our chemistry was so off the charts, and everything we did, everything he did for me,,, like,,,, whatever y'all are thinking, more stuff happened,,,

he literally sounds like a fucking secret agent that has been studying me for years and has been sent to destroy me completely

[syn4k]

do your thing, word boy

hell yeah. ok so this one isn't gonna be put under a cut because i hate you all and you WILL read my words, boy

most of our writing style inspo comes from books! wow! words influence words! who woulda thought

the one singular novel that i can say with confidence is the most like our writing style is All the Light we Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

ATLWCS (god what an ugly abbreviation i'm never using that again) is a story told from two viewpoints- one of a girl living in France, the other a boy in Germany. set pre-and-during-and-post WWII, the two spin ever and ever closer to each other over the course of the war. there's shockingly little romance in it and the focus is on the life of these two children, for children they are, rather than their deaths.

i cannot explain the plot, for it circles back in on itself and everything is connected and gods it's so GOOD. the author according to the information on the inside jacket of the cover spent 10 years researching this and i can tell. houugh.

here's a picture of the 3rd or 4th chapter. we have read this book about 7 or 8 times by now, as you can tell from the dog-eared page

the lilting, rolling pace, the casual insertion of details that make the whole world come alive, and of course the STUNNING descriptions really made an impression on us when we first read this.

i will admit that we did not buy this book, we took it home in our backpack one day in 6th grade after flying through the first few chapters and it never found its way back. we've changed schools three times since then. the book has not.

for me, what really makes this so incredible is just how.. casual the writing is? it effortlessly explains the minutiae of life by outlining a couple key points. we saw that and we were like oh my god that's so good. i HAVE to do that.

-:-

in second place for Books that Irreversibly Changed our Brain Chemistry is The Places beyond the Maps by Douglas Kaine McKelvey.

set in Andrew Peterson's fictional fantasy world of Aerwiar, the story follows the path of a man who lost his daughter to a twisted evil and who had lost himself to grief, resigning himself to the fact that she was beyond all knowledge (to him) dead. swearing an oath to bring her home or bring her justice and failing both, he goes as a wanderer in the long wilderness and eventually finds his way to meet his Maker Himself.

needless to say, we are currently reading this out to a friend and the writing style is *impeccable.*

where Doerr's prose is clear and smooth, utterly graceful and allowing the reader to glimpse clearly the truths that lie deep underneath like the seafloor upon which all else is viewed, McKelvey's is haunting and etched with some undefinable grief through which, occasionally, one can divine the simple truth at the center of all things.

needless to say, being put at the end of a collection of fairly lighthearted short stories matching the tone of the original saga, this novella hit us like a fucking Train and we have been stealing some of his long, rambling, impossibly patient descriptions for our own works for a while now. no you can't get this on its own and without missing out on some massively important context which would require an entire rant about the wingfeather saga on its own but that's another ask entirely and ANYWAYS continuing on

we've actually been leaning heavily on this specific description of loss within the self for our characterization of Pixl in Ashes! if you've read the book and if you look closely enough, you'll see some parallels there :]

-:-

this doesn't have as much influence on our writing as a whole but i'd like to give an honorable mention to anne carson in third place who effortlessly blends the present and the past in glowing verse and- ok. Ok let me share some screenshots from her translation of the play Antigone and one singular picture from her translations of Sappho's poetry and you'll see what i mean

how will i ever be normal about this. spoiler alert i won't and i'm happy about it. like. gestures vaguely. one day we will be able to focus enough on this to make a whole post about it but for now i think that's it, thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

[sarahtheconjurer]

@ghosttmachine tagged me in a get to know you meme thing (tyyy!!)! So. Here i am posting for oncce lez goooo

Last song:

Technical answer is post traumatic blues by corey taylor, bc ive been using the spotify dj thing and it keeps giving me metal that i o ly kinda like. The funner answer was rhe barbie movie ost since me and my friends literally just got back from it n my friend mariana had me play it in the car. Not rlly my thing was catchy (barbie movie was good btw! Posts abt it being like. Not the deepest critique of social issues and the like are correct but it was a fun time w a lot of heart + rlly great production value + honestly. Very funny. And i watched it w two of my best friends so :})

Currently reading:

For books:

When the Angels Left the Old Country

I haven't touched it in a hot sec, but its a queer, historical fantasy ya book based in jewish folklorex about an angel and a demon that leave europe, after a girl goes missing from the village they've set up shop in. It's very light and whimsical which is not my usual fare, but I'm enjoying it! Its very heartfelt and the two main leads have very good chemistry. And its always cool to see angel/demon lore outside the usual christian sphere.

For manga: steel ball run (part 7 of jojos bizarre adventure) its. A story about a cross continental horse race to find the body parts of jesus. Which is the most coherent way i can put it. Im rereading it w two of my friends rn and im enjoying it! It isnt my favorite part, but its up there, and features some of the best stuff in the series. This is. Also a story featuring a pair of ride or die protagonists with a very strong dynamic and chemistry (honestly, best 'set' of protags in the series) and so much comes from their bond. Its at the point in the series where it started getting a monthly release and it shows, w some rlly gorgeous art. Gyro and Diego are highlights artwise because the former doesnt have a stand he just. Has these steel balls he spins and throws around, so you get very dynamic shots of him just. Chucking them that the author uses in super creative ways to lead the eye and compose panels and the latter. Can turn himself and other things into dinosaurs. Have you ever seen a dinosaur ride a horse? Its fucking sick. It also has some interesting themes of american imperialism and christianity, of all things, which i think are done, well in some respects, esp given the authors track record. IT ALSO HAS SOME OF THE WORST STUFF IN THE SERIES THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL HIM W HAMMERS.

Currently watching:

Nothing in particular, but ive got a p big to watch list (Trigun, mob psycho, etc) and i just watched the barbie movie, like i said.

Current obsession:

Guess. Take a guess.

Jfc jojos bizarre adventure is holding me at gunpoint. Its not good its not bad (besides when it is) it its own tier of media. I forgot how much 15 year old me was obsessed w it and so i foolishly rewatched it thinking id be. Normal. I was wrong. God. I've never seen anything like it! It's so clearly a passion project from someone who's very eccentric and so it goes from absurd and stupid and comedic to circling right back to being very human and poignant. Like, it's about love! And familial trauma! And prevailing in the face of great tragedy! And also killing the president because jesus told you so! It's got a myriad of flaws from technical writing issues to genuinely tasteless/bigoted content, so its not some untouchable media, but ive been enjoying it a lot.

Part 5 and 8 are my favorites for very different reasons.

Part 5, Golden Wind, is abt a bunch of weird mobsters on a roadtrip through italy to kill their boss. It has a very charming supporting cast who are a sort of found family of societal rejects, brought together by this guy named Bruno who acts as a leader + mentor + sort of dad? To them. They're all surprisingly fleshed out characters, esp for this early on in the series, and their group dynamic, combined w some of the best fights in the entire show, really sell this part. The main character and main villain are. Not good. Sans a few aspects. Tho. Like i forget giorno is there half the time. (Giorno is my beloved stale cracker of a character but hes MY stale cracke, tho)

Part 8, Jojolion, is uh. Hm. It follows this amnesiac dude who wakes up in the dirt, as he tries to piece together the person he was. It's set in an au version of the town from part 4, w some characters being spins on old ones. Its the most recent part, and it shows. Its a lot better structured, paced, and developed compared to earlier parts. The mystery running through it has a lot of fun twists and turns, the themes are coherent, and the pace is slow, but not meandering. The supporting cast is fun (the lead's romantic interest is an actually decent jojo woman and they have a very cute relationship, and the family the main character is sort of adopted into are all fucking insane) but the real draw for me was the main character. Josuke (the second. Theres another josuke from an alternate universe in part 4, anyway) is probably my favorite jojo. I could go on about him, but compared to the others, he feels the most real? Theres this very grounded sense of frustration abt him as he tries and fails to piece together who he is, while everyone around him seems to have somethimg they need from him, or an idea of who he SHOULD be. He isnt a hero, he isnt even all that noble, hes just trying to find himself and if anyone out there loves him. He's blunt, one track minded, and is doing the jojo equivalent of spamming x to skip through all the dialogue bc hes not here for anyones shit beside his own. Jojolion somehow captures the feeling of being a weird, displaced pseudo adult trying to piece yourself together, while everything Keeps Fucking Happening. I love it so much. But by god does the ending suck hoooooly shit oh my god dude jesus christ. Fucking. I hate tohru i hate tohru i hate tohru fjcjendnxzlzm. Anyway jobin sweep

OTHER OBSESSIONS INCLUDE OCS AND DND.

Im currently running a csm tabletop n curse of strahd game, and am in a ravenloft game. They're all very different but i love them all.

Ravenloft game is a sort of sequel to the curse of strahd game i was in a while bsck

I play pageturn (kenku paladin) and coda (changeling flavored as fallen angel, bard). Ones a 13 year old w a kill drive going through a double crisis of faith while somehow being the heart of the group and the others a shapeshifting corrupted celestial, whos trying to find themself. we are currently exploring the fomain the latter was imprisoned in and have found the eye of vecna and. I am. Excited and concerned for what our wonderful dm has cooked up.

Chainsaw Man game is a high stakes office drama following the worst group of devil hunters youve ever seen. Its more episodic and light than my other games which is a nice change of pace, and i rlly like the energy our group brings to the table. I am always horrified and surprised by whatever new government supplied human rights violation they commit next! Every character is uniquely sad, while still maintaining the token csm dark comedy abt them. We are currently revisiting a mystery allll the way back from our first session and im stoked for some stuff i have planned.

Sippy Crew (curse of strahd game) is drawing to a close and ahh i could make a whole post abt how much these guys mean to me. Its been a joy dming for this group of freaks and watching as they come together not into a found family, but a group of distinctly doomed, but fiercely loyal individuals. They've had two pc deaths, even more close calls, and have lost so much, but they're pushing through like dandelions in concrete. Its genuinely the most emotionally invested ive been in a ttrpg, and am so excited, to see their journey come to a close, and will miss them dearly.

Both jojo and ttrrpgs have been a way to reconnect with friends i dont usually talk to as much, and strengthen the bonds of the friends that i do, which is why theyve hit so hard, haha.

anwyaY this turned out way longer than it needed to be bUt.

@turtleslothart @500sunstone you. Do this.

[mermaidsirennikita]

the first example that comes to mind is nicola and luke over on bton, like they literally knew that in the future they would be the main romance of a season?? so that's never gonna be not wild to me. i've also heard s&b producers didn't a chemisty test with amita and freddy meanwhile the writers are currently on twitter begging for a crows spin-off. lol ok.

Yeeeeah I mean, to be fair chemistry is subjective and I know there are people who love those couples--but I have to wonder how much of that is like. Fandom commitment. I can't speak to Shadow and Bone because I don't know anyone outside of fandomy type circles that watches it, but I do know that nobody I know who watches Bton and doesn't engage in fandom is excited for the romance in s3 of that show. And that's literally just my tiny circle, but it feels interesting to me that after two seasons of hyping up the couple, they're just like "oh I can miss that shit".

I think Shadow and Bone/SOC has a much bigger book fanbase than than Bton had going in, and that has enabled people to put on shipper goggles and focus on the idea of a couple like Kaz and Inej, versus the reality of the actors playing them.

Personally, I can't do that. I love love love Daisy and Billy in the Daisy Jones and The Six show, but, writing aside, I couldn't ignore that I felt absolutely no sparks between Sam Claflin and Riley Keough. Them kissing just seemed like mouths mashing together.