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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 year ago

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Hey :) this is a bit if a sensitive topic… but i got an idea for a request and i don’t know if you’d be willing to write it? I’ve been struggling with anorexia for a very long time and i’ve been thinking what if y/n was in the love band and she has an ed and body image issues and you know the outfit the band’s always wearing? For me personally, it’d be so triggering to wear because i know i’d feel so fat wearing it (don’t know why tbh)…Anyway, what if she hasn’t really told anyone about her struggle (maybe they saw signs but don’t know for sure) and she’d agreed to wear the outfit but then before a show she has a huge panic attack and Harry finds her crying backstage…

And also like i just want to say that there’s nothing wrong with being bigger and that "fat" is not a feeling but i just can’t help my brain 😣

Sorry for the long ask.. and I also hope you’ll feel better!!🙂

Hello friend! First off, thank you for sending this request and for trusting me and this online space to share your struggles. That can be really challenging, especially on the internet where you don't know how people will take things or react sometimes. Especially with eating disorders, there's so much guilt and shame that comes with this kind of mental illness to begin with and it can be a hard thing to admit to as well.

I will also share with you anon, that I've struggled with an ED for many years and was finally diagnosed with EDNOS in 2016. EDNOS stands for eating disorder not otherwise specified and you can receive that diagnosis for many reasons. I won't elaborate on my case in this post (I don't mind talking about it anymore so if ppl have questions you can ask), but anyway.... all this to say that I totally understand your struggle. And lately, I've been struggling to not fall back into those harmful ways after some comments my mom made a few weeks ago. It's been a tough few weeks for me for many reasons. But anyway, thank you so much again, for sending this request. Writing this is definitely going to be cathartic and therapeutic for me as well and I hope that it is for you too and anyone who struggles this way.

LAST THING! If you or anyone you know struggles with an eating disorder or shows concerning disordered eating patterns, please consider getting help. Some resources are linked HERE including helpline contact info.

And of course, the content below can be triggering for people who struggle with any E.D.

This was quite literally your dream come to life. You had been asked by Harry himself to join the Love Band in Ny-Oh's place for the final leg of Love On Tour. This all seemed insane and unreal as you thought about how you'd just met him around 2018. You'd been brought in as a session musician for Harry's last 2 albums and started a nice little friendship with him. But you didn't know that he considered you enough of a friend to ask you to join his live ensemble. Sure, you talked regularly enough and had graduated into hugs over fist bumps during the making of Harry's House, but still...it just seemed so insane. You were excited though, getting to see him perform every night knowing how hard he worked to make this music...it was like a full circle moment.

There'd been plenty you'd done in preparation for your travels. Including getting your measurements taken for the little love minion jumpsuits you'd be wearing every night. None of that really seemed to trigger you or your concerns over your weight and body image. You'd been doing so well, you'd been managing your eating disorder well the last few years without any major setbacks and you were proud that you were healthy enough to do this. Proud that you felt comfortable accepting this gig and knowing that you had the stamina and health to make it through the entire leg of the tour. It was huge! But none of that really seemed to matter when you got a look at your uniform hung up just a few inches away from you and felt this sudden rush of anxiety crawling through your body. Why did it look like it'd be so tight on you? The material obviously wasn't too stretchy so how was this supposed to fit on you? You weren't exactly sure what about the look of it suddenly had you feeling this way, but all you knew was that you didn't feel good about it.

The logical part of your brain reminded you that you got fitted for this - it was custom made to your measurements. And you tried to keep that in mind, but you soon realized that you had been fitted for this about four months ago. Maybe you'd gained tons of weight? Your days of obsessively weighing yourself were past you, so you had no idea if you had or hadn't. You had body dysmorphia so your mind wouldn't know the difference. And it was maddening to you that you had been feeling OK about yourself until you'd entered the little temporary changing room and saw the outfit on the hanger. Your heart started to beat a bit faster as your anxiety started to grow.

"30 minutes to show time!" you heard someone call as they walked down the corridor and then they shouted the same warning into the large dressing room a few of you shared and you just exhaled sharply and decided so just ignore this feeling and suck it up. If you didn't wear this what would you wear? You had no choice, you just had to get over it.

However, now that something about this outfit had triggered the obsessive and intrusive thoughts about your body image you started to feel uncomfortable looking at your reflection. You tried to avoid looking at yourself right now because you knew that you'd see things that weren't accurate. You tried to slow down your breathing as you turned away from the mirror in there and folded up your clothes before turning back around and looking at the outfit once again before taking it off the hanger. It felt suspenseful to undo all of the little buttons lining the seam to join the two sides together. But soon you were pulling it off the hanger and getting your legs into it and doing up the buttons, avoiding the mirror again until it was fully on so that you wouldn't freak out before you fully were dressed. Of course, you had no issues with getting it on, it felt just fine, a little loose if anything. But when you looked up the feeling of the fit didn't really matter. You had no idea if it was the cinched in waist that felt restrictive even if you had some wiggle room. Or maybe it was the way the fabric bulged a bit at your stomach and made you feel like you were carrying a lot more weight there than you realized before? But as you turned to the side to see how you looked from that angle your frown deepened as your fears rose tot he surface. It looked a little big on you and that somehow made you feel even worse because it wasn't like flattering/comfy baggy. This outfit somehow accentuated just how thin you actually were and then a new fear came into your brain: They're going to know I'm anorexic.

You felt that you did well enough to keep your eating disorder speculations at bay. People closest to you knew, but you were very private about it because like any illness, there is sometimes an element of shame involved. It wasn't something you advertised, especially as you recovered! But most people just knew you were into health and wellness, but they didn't know the dark side of it; that you struggled with obsessing over quantities and ingredients and portions because you were terrified to look bigger than you were, terrified to gain weight, terrified of feeling fat. You couldn't tell anyone why you felt that way, but you just did! And sure, you were a lot better now than you were years ago, but you had just been massively triggered that you looked sickly and that, that would arise suspicions of your health. The fans might start to say things and ask questions and if they noticed other people would too...the crew, the rest of the band...Harry...

As you stared at yourself for a bit more your eyes started to tear up and you silently fanned at your eyes to try and dissipate the tears, but your vision was only getting more and more blurry. You just needed some fresh air to calm down. You peeked out and saw that you were alone in the dressing room so you rushed out before anyone could stop you and you headed out back behind the stage. They were in the middle of changing the setup after the openers so the crew and roadies were closer to the structure helping change things out and unloading. You had the space and privacy to pace around and let your tears fall. But the audience was so loud...there would be so many people and they would look at you and see you in this outfit and just know that something was wrong with you. Obviously they would be scrutinizing you since you were the new person! And suddenly everything just built up inside of you and you started to panic.

You found a place to sit down when you felt your breathing catch in your throat. This couldn't be happening.... you were just minutes before the show! But you were hyperventilating now as your tears cascaded down your cheeks. You felt like you were going to crumble apart. This was a huge mistake... you should've said no...you weren't ready for this. There was no way you could do this. You were sat off to the side as you sobbed and tried everything you could to calm down and get through this panic attack so you didn't notice Harry's car pulling up across from you until you heard the stadium cheering loudly and when you glanced up you saw Harry wave quickly before he headed backstage. You didn't want anyone to see you like this so you stood up and went to hide behind one of the trailers, but you didn't notice that he'd seen you rush off.

********

"Y/N!" Harry called after you but you didn't seem to hear him and he frowned a bit. He could've sworn you were crying...maybe you just got really nervous or maybe it just hit you now that you were on tour. It could be exciting but nerve-racking. So he decided to just check on you and maybe give you a little pep-talk. "Hey, I'll be right in, just gonna make sure she's OK." Harry said to Tommy and Brad.

"I've got it, H. You should really go get changed. You're on in 15." Tommy advised.

"It'll be quick. I'm sure she's just a little nervous." Harry said and they sighed as he jogged off to where you'd taken off. When he rounded the corner to where the trailers were he immediately frowned when he saw you gasping for air, choking on your tears as you sobbed uncontrollably. "Y/N, oh my god." he said as he hurried over to you.

You felt mortified as he rushed up to you and reached for your hands. You started to cry harder because this was so fucked up. You felt so stupid and ridiculous for crying over an outfit, but you just felt so awful. Worse than you had in a long time and it was scary to be triggered so intensely. When he wrapped you up in a big hug you started to calm down. His voice and touch and scent helped to ground you a bit, enough to help you breathe properly.

"What's the matter?" he asked you softly as you continued crying. You cough as you tried to answer him and he gently rubbed your back to help you out a bit.

"S'fine. I'm fine." you choked out and he sighed.

"How can I help if I don't know what the issue is?" he asked you and you sighed.

"You can't help Harry, this is me. This all me and I...I don't think I can do the show." you finally said and he pulled back with a big frown as he looked at you. You couldn't bear to see his disappointment for more than a second before you looked back at the ground.

"What do you mean? Are you nervous?" he asked you as he rubbed at your arms with his ring clad hands and you sighed.

"I-it's the outfit. I can't wear this outfit. Like...I'm not...able to wear this." you said to him and he looked a bit confused.

"Is something wrong with it?"

"Yes! I...don't know w-what it is..." you gasped through your sobs, "But I just...don't like how I look or feel in it." you explained.

"Love, you look great!" he said with a small smile and that made you feel worse because it was a testament to just how insane you actually were, "And well, I'm not really sure we can change the uniform at this point-"

"Exactly, this is my issue! So I can't go up there." you cried.

"Well what's the issue you're having? Maybe there's something we can do about it right now?" he asked and you bit your lip for a moment before looking into his eyes and then just turning your gaze away from him. You couldn't bear to see his face when you said this to him.

"I...I have an eating disorder." you said softly through your tears, "And something about this outfit has triggered me into this psychotic episode. I feel...really awful physically and in my head too...and I'm trying... I'm trying to get it together but I haven't felt like this in years and just one look at me in this and everyone's gonna know something's wrong with me because I look sick!" you sobbed, "And that's why I can't do this. I'm so sorry, Harry. I just can't do the show." you blubbered and his hands slid down your arms and grabbed your hands.

"I'm so sorry." he said softly and you sighed.

"It's not your fault...how were you supposed to know that this would trigger me? I didn't even know until I was staring at the fucking thing." you shook your head as you looked up at him again and he sighed.

"I mean, yeah but like I... I noticed stuff before, like when we first met that made me wonder if...maybe you were anorexic or struggled with something like this. So I'm sorry that I never checked on you." he said and you sighed.

"Well, it't not really something I like to talk about." you explained through a sniffle, "And I've been doing really well the last couple years, I swear I'm like eating regularly and stuff. I wouldn't have agreed to do this if I wasn't well enough to do it." you said quickly, "But something happened back there and for my own wellbeing I just feel like I can't go out there like this." you explained through your tears. "Like...at first I thought I looked fat or maybe the cinching made me feel really restricted....but like I had this...moment where when I looked at myself f-from the side I just...looked like a fucking Tim Burton character...." you chuckled through your tears, "and I just...know that people will notice that I'm anorexic. And the audience is gonna see and start saying things about me... and things are just going to get worse and I'm gonna lose control again! And I don't want to lose control again. I can't lose control again." you vented through your tears and he just listened attentively with a slight frown. When he saw you were finished he squeezed your hands gently.

"I get that. And I also want you to be healthy and feel healthy and to feel good about yourself." he assured you, "You being safe and healthy and happy, that's all I want for you! But you're also a fucking brilliant musician and friend and I don't want to do this without you." he said to you and you sniffled, "I'm willing to figure something out to make sure that you feel comfortable and confident enough to perform if you want. We can get with Harry real quick and see what we can come up with." he suggested.

"The show starts in a little bit...it's fine. We can work on it tomorrow. I can perform from backstage today or even just sit this one out." you said and he scoffed through a laugh.

"I'm not gonna make you perform from backstage! We're just gonna run a bit late, that's fine." he said to you and you shook your head.

"Seriously H, I don't mind it a-"

"Seriously, Y/N." He cut you off, "I don't want to hide any member of my team, ever. I want to work with you to figure this out, OK? You mean a lot to me, and having you up there with me and Mitch, like that's so huge! You've been there for a lot of the work on these songs...you brought my vision to life in the studio and now you're here, getting to see it play out! And you do not have my permission to experience this magnificent and magical moment for the first time from behind the stage, all alone. There's no fucking way." he said and you chuckled softly through your tears as he squeezed your hands reassuringly again. "You deserve this. Let's figure this out." he offered again and you sniffled and nodded.

"OK." you agreed softly and he smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." you sniffled and smiled at him before he hugged you tight and you relaxed in his embrace.

"Perfect. Just gonna hold you for a bit, OK?" he said and you just hummed.

Your eating disorder had robbed you of tons of incredible experiences in your life. Either because you weren't well enough to show up or because you felt ashamed...but the buck stopped here. Not anymore. Harry was right, you deserved this and you wanted this, so you were gonna do it with his help and other Harry's help. After a few moments he let go of you and pulled back to wipe away the slightly smeared makeup beneath your eyes.

"If you don't mind not saying anything to Harry about why I-"

"Of course not." He said right away.

"Do you think the band'll mind that I might not be in the uniform?"

"I doubt it, but if someone has any issues I'll take care of it, OK?" he assured you and you nodded.

"Thank you, H."

"Course, love." He smiled kindly, "And I know that for now we might scramble a bit but what if we get you a tour shirt or sweater to wear on top and you can just tie the jumpsuit sleeves around you or something so that you just have the pants on?" he suggested.

"Yeah, I think that's good. I can't very well go out in my spandex shorts, that’s what I came in." you giggled and he chuckled.

"Yeah, sorry not happening. This is kind of about me so...." he joked and you laughed softly, "There she is." he said, his thumb swiped over your smile line for a moment before he pulled it away, "Sorry." he said softly.

"It's alright." you assured him and he smiled.

"Let's get this figured out then." he said and you nodded and headed back.

Of course, Harry had been right about not wanting you to miss the first show because you were hiding backstage. It had been one the best experiences of your life so far. The crowd were so loud and happy to be there. Hearing everyone sing the songs with you all, specially getting to sing Matilda and seeing how much it meant to everyone was amazing. It had been absolutely magical, you had even teared up. And when Harry spared you a glance at the end of the song and saw you wiping a tear he shot you a thumbs up and you returned the gesture. You guys started to wave at the fans at the barricade as you headed back to the main stage. You felt someone come up behind you and then Harry's arm draped over your shoulder.

"Alright, love?" he asked against your ear.

"Yeah, you were right though." you said to him, "I'm glad I'm not stuck in the back and missing this." you smiled up at him and he smiled.

"Me too." he assured you.

Of course, hundreds of fans had recorded this little interaction between the two of you and the only thing that people were obsessing over was how protective and soft Harry seemed to be with you and in turn it made the fans even more gentle towards you during the next shows. With each show the cheering for your introduction grew louder. By now you had talked to the other Harry and the band about what you were struggling with and they were all so kind and supportive. And now, each night when you were introduced you had that incredible support from the audience as well. No one was paying attention to your flaws or your issues or your body, they were just showing you the love and acceptance that you so often failed to give to yourself. Being built up that way gave you a new motivation to stay on track, to take care of yourself, and to keep getting better.

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dear-space-cadet · 3 months ago

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the human fear predictions, song-by-song

i see this album being a follow-up to right thoughts right words right action in a sense. a lot of the songs here started appearing, at least somewhat, in 2016. i think there were plans for a rtrwra follow up that was more 'on-theme' but it got scrapped due to ffs, and then alex got obsessed with disco for a little bit and hired a synthpop twink on guitar. now that we're back to somewhat normal, i think it's time for the post-rtrwra songs to shine. i also see a lot of the ychismb+2005 b-sides motifs happening here already (swallow smile, wine in the afternoon, l. wells, jeremy fraser, ghost in a ditch, walk away, fade together). alex appears to be the primary lyric writer now too so that influences everything you are about to read

overall -- rtrwra without the american southwest influence/rtrwra not produced by todd terje; ychismb+2005 b-sides with less edge and more age

playlist of what i think the general vibes will be

audacious

already out so i will not be doing this one. i personally rate it around a 3/10 for my own tastes

everydaydreamer (4/10)

another "children of the world" "be a good person" chorus

'political' but doesn't take an actual stance (like paper cages or huck and jim)

miaoux miaoux synth riff

really throws off the rest of my predictions but i feel like we ease into the farmhouse truck stop from peepeetown to poopooville shit in the back half

the doctor (6/10)

evil eye spiritual successor

a good song but the imagery will make me uncomfortable or alex will not be singing well so i'll just tune it out (similar to treason animals)

potential itao reference? (buckle up)

hooked (10/10)

THEE banger of the album

i have high hopes for this one

they let dino cook. and cook he will

potential spiritual successor to fabulously lazy. a girl can dream

build it up (5/10)

this is a crowd-pleaser live song and will not be made any better with a studio version

if you like it you like it. it will not be made any better or worse with a studio recording. why is this even on the album

night or day (8/10)

this might be the one where alex 'plays the game' lyrically

spiritual successor to right action. "now how can we leave you to a saturday night or a sunday morning"

alternatively it could be a very "i'm there for you" "be a good person" song and rank around 3/10 but i want to ignore the potential for that. i dont want that to be true

tell me should i stay (5/10)

either a typical alexing with all the usual alexisms or the spiritual successor to bullet

clara feature (they make audrey anna-prior-it-out live)

potentially just a nick/manuela diss track again, which is actually the better outcome

cats (2/10)

just the stupidest shit ever

likely instrumental

either a big band flop OR a julian synth moment (which would bump it to a potential 6/10)

could also be "frogs" from the 2016 LP5 tracklist, but renamed to represent the cat imagery in franz now. if so, very farmhouse, very truck stop instrumental moment. potential 6/10 there too

or alex doing an alex. time will tell. it will suck

i pray for a second steckrube mention but it's unlikely

black eyelashes (8/10)

in my heart this is a fade together/walk away follow-up. maybe an eleanor boots follow up

potential nick mccarthy diss track. they might hit the pentagon here

could also be a clara love track but i doubt it being so obvious after what happened with ms eleanor

i need to love this song sowwyyyy if it sucks it's not my fault

could also be a black tuesday/scarlet and blue revision (bc i see black tuesday as a revision of scarlet and blue already) but that is wishful thinking

bar lonely (9/10)

first seen in 2016 and likely written beforehand (nick + paul influence plus pent-up feelings)

idk if it'll be good, but i do have high hopes bc it's been in the chamber for so long

this could also be the one where they hit the pentagon on nick. likely not but the title gives roasting a guy. this could also be the bullet follow-up but i doubt it if it was written sometime between 2014-2016

the birds (7/10)

spiritual successor to the universe expanded

existential. a bit overdone, but that's whatever

also potential walk away tie-in bc of the alfred hitchcock's the birds post-war tie-ins there

maybe another 'political' yet stanceless song focusing on modern anxiety, like the theme of the birds

ends with birds chirping like fade together

that is all i have for you. feel free to add yours or tell me what you think. i'll come back to this in january

#says the trilobite #franz ferdinand #franz #hope you enjoyed my yap sesh #happy 9/11

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seoul-bros · 6 months ago

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Jikook Week 24 Complete ✔️(21 - 28/05/2024)

Their twenty fourth week in the military is now complete and time to celebrate this milestone with a look back at this week in 2016.

This was The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever era with BTS promoting Epilogue: Young Forever, Fire and Save Me from when the album was released on the 2nd May 2024.

In mid-May, BTS began filming Bon Voyage 1 with a trip to Scandinavia to celebrate their three year anniversary. The adventure began on the 15th when they were told their destination and that the staff would not be on hand to help them to organise tickets and food. They would also be assigned a budget which they could not exceed for each country. They asked for a student backpacking like trip and that is what they got.

youtube

First was Norway followed by Sweden (19/05) and then Finland. They did a live from their first stop in Bergen, Norway on the 17/05/2016. It was the day after their arrival and Jungkook's coming of age celebration. This was the party where it was suggested they play rock paper scissors to see which one of them would give him a congratulatory kiss and only Jimin was up for it.

On the 19/05 they took a train trip and Jimin posted these photos on TwiX. Tired Kookie asleep on the train, que guapo!

Next they flew to Sweden and Jimin posted these photos looking handsome on the streets of Stockholm. They also did a group live.

On the 22/05 they were in Finland after cruising from Stockholm to Helsinki.

Unfortunately, RM losing his passport meant that he was unable to remain in Finland and had to take the first plane back to South Korea. It was not the way anyone wanted to finish the trip.

J-Hope and Jimin did a seven minute live in which they asked for suggestions on what to eat that night. Someone suggested lamb skewers and Jimin immediately thought Jungkook would love that.

They spent the afternoon in a sauna and playing games that ended in the loser having to jump into the cold water of the lake. Jimin ended up in the lake twice once accompanied by V and once by Suga.

Luckily there was a hot tub where they could all recover afterwards.

The next day it was JK and Yoongi's turn and lamb skewers were mentioned again, this time as a possible souvenir from their trip.

JK also talked about his early morning camera shoot and this is the amazing picture he took of the sunrise over the lake.

They arrived back in South Korea on 25/05/2016 and wow Jimin looked so cool walking through the airport.

I had so much fun watching the Bon Voyage 1 episodes and would recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen them yet. There were so many famous jikook moments that suddenly all slotted into place on the timeline.

Also these guys are the most forgetful group I've ever seen.

Jimin leaves his case on the airport bus and has to retrieve it

Hobi loses the ticket to the cable car which was luckily picked up a tourist and returned to him.

RM leaves his bag behind (but the staff actually retrieve it and give it back to him)

RM loses his passport and the replacement travel papers will only allow him to fly back to South Korea and not continue the vacation in Finland. He was so disappointed and the last leg of the trip wasn't the same without him.

V gets lost in the middle of nowhere after getting on the wrong bus from Stockholm airport and then getting off the bus at a random stop.

Post Date: 28/05/2024

#jikook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jimin #park jimin #bts in the military #24 weeks completed

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extraordinaryhistories · 4 months ago

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#15 – 'Kill' (A Sun Came, 1998)

In 2016, a man named Marc Rebillet (yes, that Marc Rebillet) decided to search through a dumpster outside Sufjan’s studio in DUMBO, Brooklyn, which is a very mature and adult thing to do and reflects fantastically on Marc as a person, and certainly should have no consequences on his thriving music career. In that dumpster, he found an odd-looking CD – an unreleased album with a black-and-white cover titled Stalker, claiming to be performed by Sufjan Stevens. It had been recorded some time in the 1990s, and on a quick listen (the album was swiftly leaked online), it certainly sounded like early Sufjan, back when he did wild electric guitar freak-outs; his hushed but nasally vocal tone from that era is unmistakeable.

Everything seemed normal, except for the fact that the album was about tracking, sexually assaulting and then murdering people. It contained songs with titles like ‘I Know Where Your Kids Go to School’, ‘Baby Give Me a Feel’ and ‘U Kan Wrun But U Kan’t Hyde’. None of it was metaphorical. Sufjan recorded a noise rock album in the 90s that was quite literally about fucking stalking people. And then, not five years later, recorded ‘For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti’. It boggles the mind.

At the time that Stalker was released, a significant portion of the Sufjan fan community cast doubt on the veracity of the leak. One of the major concerns was that the subject matter was far too direct, far too gruesome, for a Sufjan song. He would never be so brutally direct. He would never. Right?

‘Kill’ is a song by Sufjan Stevens that features the following as its chorus: ‘I want to kill him / I want to cut his brain / And when it's over / I know I'll feel okay’. Ah. Case closed.

The third-last track on A Sun Came, ‘Kill’ is a knotty piece of songwriting that may be the most multi-layered lyrical construction in his early work. Even purely on inspection one can see this to be true – it is a song with a clear narrative, some clear themes, a roiling balance of light and dark within it, which is far more than can be said for much of this era. But then you get to the allusions this song pays to other literary and musical sources, and things only begin to complicate further. I, personally, have not quite made my mind up about ‘Kill’. It is a song loaded with possibility.

An initial reading of ‘Kill’ gives the strong suggestion of a relationship narrative, and I do think that this is what lies at the song’s core. The relationship in this song need not be romantic, but given the sheer depth and fury of the passion here, it seems highly probable. There is a narrator who exists in what is very much a lopsided power dynamic with another (male) figure; very rarely is the narrator an active subject in this song, instead being subject to the figure’s curation and exploitation. The figure ‘took the stable / Bred me to be a mare / Made the brethren able / Gave me a room’, all of which are ostensible acts of kindness that nevertheless confirm a ruler/ruled dynamic.

We receive that same confirmation in the next verse. ‘I never asked him / I never meant to stay’, says the narrator, and very quickly the song sours. The narrator finds themselves being used and abused, ‘never [leaving] the stall’ while their partner readily leaves their side. Any sense of a romantic relationship in an ideal sense – two partners, ‘riding side by side / Into the frontier’, tackling the world’s challenges as a single, symbiotic unit – is long defunct. Only misery remains for the narrator, with hope long-dashed by a pattern of careless exploitation.

With this as our narrative foundation, we reach the song’s climax, one of the most striking and instantly memorable moments in his catalogue on account of how utterly depraved it is. We are left with no doubt that Sufjan’s narrator is in a state of abject misery up to this point. But misery in Sufjan songs is so often detached, poetic, dejected, somehow fundamentally stoic. Not in ‘Kill’. The narrator has no remaining emotional bandwidth for stoicism. All that’s left is a carnal desire to exact onto the narrator’s partner some fraction of the pain that the partner exacted onto the narrator, and the only way to do this is through murder.

You will not find a gnarlier image in the Sufjan catalogue than ‘I want to kill him / I want to cut his brain’, and the reason it has so much guttural power is because it does not quite read as psychopathic or unstable. The narrator only wants to do this. They never will, and likely never even could – the verses of this song are in the past tense, and by the time we reach the present tense of the pre-chorus, the partner has left the narrator forever. ‘Kill’ is a logical conclusion, an exhausted final attempt to lash out in a situation where the narrator knows they have no power to do so. When the chorus finally breaks down at the end into a futile repeated ‘I want’, the song’s message is complete. It is violent, but the violence is less a horror tale, more a tragedy.

This is the interpretation that a direct reading of ‘Kill’ provides us, but there are all sorts of semantic curios in this one that complicate interpretation. I am, of course, referring to the extended horse metaphor that this song seems to be pushing. Both narrator and villain are referred to as mares in this song; there is talk of stalls, of stables, of riding into battle in a literal sense. It is rather late for me to mention that ‘Kill’ has a source text, but it seemingly does – Sufjan cites an obscure Sherwood Anderson short story named ‘The Man Who Became a Woman’ as the basis for this song, but has refused to elaborate further. The surface-level parallels are very clear given that ‘The Man Who Became a Woman’ is a story about a horse trainer, but from there the complications begin, because Anderson’s story is a) incredibly obtuse and b) seems to reckon far more with gender, and to a lesser extent race, than it does dysfunctional romance as a theme. The narrative in ‘Kill’ certainly does not retell that of its source material, at least not in a manner discernible to the listener. But the connections are there nonetheless.

A Sun Came is an album that brims with loving, albeit surface-level, tributes to Sufjan’s musical and literary influences, and ‘Kill’ is one such example. But Anderson isn’t the only reference point for ‘Kill’. It is highly probable that Sufjan is intentionally referencing Elliott Smith’s ‘Roman Candle’ in the chorus of this one. Sufjan sings ‘I want to kill him / I want to cut his brain’; years earlier, Smith sang ‘I want to hurt him / I want to give him pain’. And this is almost certainly intentional given Sufjan’s professed admiration for Smith and the various comparisons that have been made between the two songwriters over Sufjan’s career. (What makes things even more interesting is that ‘Roman Candle’ is a song about Smith’s violent step-father. The same systematic patterns of abuse are present in the lyrics of both songs, albeit expressed with more eloquence in Smith’s. Even if not Sufjan’s own stepfather – Lowell Brahms is by all accounts a beautiful, caring soul – one wonders if the subject of ‘Kill’ might have a real-life referent.)

One could spend days attempting to decode ‘Kill’, and this is fortuitous, because musically it does not offer much. The bulk of the song consists of a repeating guitar figure that has a sort of leaden weight to it, dragging it down into the muck. It is vaguely reminiscent of – and inferior to – the ‘Abraham’ ostinato that Sufjan would pen a few years later, but this one is played almost entirely on the lower strings and as a result lacks the same ethereal pop and spring that many Sufjan songs capitalise on. There is some double tracking, especially in the chorus and pre-chorus, but it doesn’t add anything substantial to the arrangement. Neither does Sufjan’s strained, upper-register vocal melody, but there is certainly a sort of confessional quality to it that suits the subject matter.

All of this comes together to create a song that is resolutely, undeniably un-fun to listen to. It is most likely for this reason that Sufjan chose never to play this one live, unlike some of the other stripped-back folk ballads on A Sun Came. When Sufjan dips his toes in depravity – ‘John Wayne Gacy Jr.’! ‘Saturn’! – incredibly compelling, listenable, rich things tend to emerge, but at this early stage of his career, it seems that the pieces are just not quite in place yet. But there’s no denying that ‘Kill’ is a fascinating and in many ways remarkably compelling song, just one that does not feel as listenable as it could be. It’s fine. Early days yet. All of these songs helped create our modern concept of Sufjan Stevens.

#music #sufjan stevens #sufjan #folk music #macabre #but campy too

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wrongcaitlyn · 3 months ago

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hi tawny!!! loved the magnus chase chapter 🫶🏻 alex and magnus r so cute. I love magnus’s backstory/how you adapted it!!

ok so today is my bday and I was hoping you might be able to share a snippet from the upcoming tgol chapter🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 no pressure tho!!!!

HI OMGSDFKJDSF FIRST OF ALL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I HOPE THAT ITS STILL YOUR BIRTHDAY IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO GET TO THISJSDF!!!

i HAVE written a bit of the next chapter but unfortunately, it is solely tweets, and the tweets are all without users at the moment bc i always add the users at the end. SO. im gonna post a good majority of those tweets here as your excerpt and update it when i eventually add the users and let you know!!! and as a special treat if you'd like to choose one of these to be under your user, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL ADD IT :)))

hope you have had an absolutely wonderful day!!!

guys i dont think u realize how crazy this is for apollo to be working with another artist. like we all accepted nico was an exception bc like he’s will’s bsf and stuff but apollo apparently REACHED OUT to sadie. and they’ve been working together on an album. under apollo’s own label.

genuinely hope that sadie becomes crazy popular like nico and that delphi records gets bigger than ****’s

honestly i def think it’d happen. karma at its finest

so as an angel what’s the sadie lore anything we should know?? bc she’s abt to become my third fav artist

who are the first two?? sadie’s AMAZING

nico and alex fierro duh

so your music taste is nico di angelo and his openers

yes exactly

Sadie currently has an EP out (Worst of You) that you should definitely check out, it was produced by her and her brother as an indie artist! As for background, she’s from London and her parents are pretty big in the archaeology world. She started putting out covers on YT when she was 13, and eventually started [1/2]

writing her own songs. She uploaded a lot of unreleased songs to YT (they’ve since been deleted but they’re also on SoundCloud), and put out her debut EP at 18 and recently got signed to Apollo’s Delphi Records (technically second official artist signed, if we’re including Nico) [2/2]

still processing graveyard bc what does he MEAN by directly referencing how apollo “took his money and dignity and got the hell out” and thinks “i understand it now” and “i think you got it right.” nico please don’t disappear on us.

i blame munich

i ship

[ two images attached: The first is a selfie of Nico di Angelo, Apollo, and Sadie Kane taken by Sadie. The second is the same photo, zoomed in on Sadie and Nico. ]

THE MYSTERY OF NICO’S SKULL RING: A THREAD

Sep 27, 2015: the skull ring is first seen, albeit blurry, in jason grace’s vlog around his school, in which nico is sitting in their school cafeteria. it’s on his right ring finger, as it always has been (that we know of, logically he may have worn it on his middle or index finger when younger)

[ two images attached ]

May 21, 2016: it’s once again seen in nico’s first appearance on apollo’s insta, before we even knew his name. during this time, nico had been working on ‘haunted’ with apollo, and was already known as his insta user “the ghost king,” which ties into the skull/ghost/death theme

[ one image attached ]

June 18, 2016: the skull ring is on the back cover of ‘haunted’s vinyl and its tracklist. it’s pretty much the centerpiece of the image, with his hand mostly covering his face.

[ two images attached ]

There are several more appearances of the skull ring, he practically never takes it off. It’s seen in his pictures at the AMA’s, VMA’s, Grammys, and pretty much every other public appearance of his from 2016 - 2018.

[ four images attached ]

During the haunted acoustic shows (July 2017), he’s seen wearing the rings in all of the shows.

[ four images attached ]

Even the design of the doomsday world tour poster is based on the skull design in his ring, as well as several other merch pieces.

[ four images attached ]

August 26, 2018: nico is wearing the ring in the official pictures from the first night of the doomsday world tour (and from various fans’ pictures)

[ three images attached ]

But on the second night of the doomsday world tour, nico is seen without a skull ring.

[ four images attached ]

Since then, he hasn’t been seen wearing the ring ONCE. Several other rings take the place on the right ring finger, but the skull ring’s pretty identifiable - and the ones he’s worn since are noticeably different. so, that leaves the question: what happened to it? why did nico stop wearing it?

[ four images attached ]

more pictures of the other rings he’s worn since

[ four images attached ]

ummm maybe. hear me out. just a possibility. his ring size grew? being a living growing teenager at the time

okay but it is interesting how it happened right after the first night of tour. and its not like a normal piece of jewelry, right? the skull ring is one of the first things we even knew about him, its basically like a logo. dating all the way back to apollo’s first post signifying haunted? it must have meant something to him if he wore it for at least three years (1/2)

even at award shows and red carpets and all that fancy stuff. putting the exact same skull design on tour merch, etc… it’s just strange that it disappeared all of a sudden, despite nico still going on with the death/skull aesthetic in graveyard. if he just lost it or it broke/stopped fitting, wouldn’t he try and get another?

this fandom belongs in an insane asylum

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk fic #talk ur talk asks

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maybemoonout · 2 years ago

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if you were to put together a milex starter pack, what would be the top moments you’d include?? love your blog btw! 💗

Hi there anon! I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this, there's just a lot going on right now for me so I only really found the time to answer this now! I hope you don't mind and still see this T_T

A starter pack sounds like such a fun idea! I want this to be sort of a bite sized post that allows new people from the fandom to find a little bit of everything they need to know. I think that's a good idea, so I decided with that!

///

To get started, I wanted to link this post by @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind who made an AMAZING full blown post proving milex and it's wonderfully detailed and full of interview moments that start from the true beginning. A GREAT read if you need something to get you started!!

Some of my favorite moments that I got from that post are:

— Alex Turner on ‘Hot Press’ (x)

— Miles Kane, Les Inrocks Magazine 2016 (x)

And many many more from that post, it's also a great place to collect gifs since it has a lot, just remember to credit @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind !!

///

Another GREAT post to read about their relationship is this post by @paperlovesadness that discusses Miles and Alex's relationship as the definition of Twin Flames. It's INCREDIBLY detailed and has sources for all the interviews mentioned. It's honestly such an interesting study, the definition of twin flames, even outside Milex, so please do give it a read!!

///

More great reads for this fandom are song analyses! You can find tons just by searching, but personally I have read all the song analyses of @yellowloid and @paperlovesadness, and I love them A LOT. I also have a few of my own, just check out my #ask !!

///

@puppetsspace started a Milex Timeline of events but it only ever made it to 2007, I don't know if anyone else made a bigger timeline but this is still a great blog to check out for the early timelines! My favorite one there has to be this post where Miles sees Alex for the first time and he looks in awe. Very sweet!

///

@yummilexhub created a full blown collection of the entire EYTCTE Tour!! A great place to get sources and clips!! please check it out here!

///

Now for some more fun stuff, if I had to choose my favorite moments it would be really... difficult. I have A LOT in mind and I honestly can't pick just a few so I'll try limiting it as much as I can.

---

1. The Iconic Øyafestivalen 2016 hug

Need I say more? Miles HIMSELF posted this moment, so it's not surprising everyone loves it, including meself.

2. The Iconic Coachella Kiss

This is honestly my favorite for 2 reasons:

[edited] I was unfortunately a slave to the internet but I originally said here that they were really banned but really its just a rumour!! I hears the guy handling coachella really wasn't happy with the whole thing thoigh, still funny lmfao

It was the one of the few moments that were the closest to a kiss, there are a few others but this one is the most popular and most iconic because again of said reason in #1.

3. Sharing Clothes

This ones not really a moment but a collection of moments. I find it EXTREMELY FUNNY that whenever people do those "boyfriend style" things on Alex, you see the regular array of ex girlfriends or current girlfriend, and out of nowhere, it's just Miles HAHAHAHHA. LIKE IT'S FUNNY AS HELL. I find it kinda sweet that Miles is somehow the... consistent out of all of the styles, like no matter the era of Alex there's gonna be a moment where he shares clothes with Miles, compared to the others who obviously only ever share with him in one period. I guess that's the perks of being the best friend?

Some examples:

Striped Shirt

Leather Jacket

Fred Perry Cardigan

4. The Albums being called "their baby"

This one is a little more of a stretch because I've only ever seen it one time. In this interview Alex says "for the past 8 years we've considered...trying for another baby" then they both start laughing hysterically. It's funny and cute :)) If anyone ever sees a different moment where Alex and Miles call the albums their babies, please do let me know!

5. I Want You (She's So Heavy)

These gifs explain themselves I think

///

I honestly can't think of more on top of my head right now, if anyone wants to add more please do! I'll definitely add more later but for now, this is my starter pack!

I hope this is a good little collection of stuff for you guys to see a little bit of everything!

#alex turner #miles kane #milex #the last shadow puppets #tlsp #ask #answered #my post #my gifs #gifset #starter pack #hope this helps T_T

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dovebuffy92 · 6 months ago

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Reasons Why I Love All The Different Florence + The Machine Eras (Tours)

I want to preface this listing by saying I have only watched FATM concerts on YouTube. I am sure the band's concerts are even more magical in person, and I hope I have a chance to see one soon. Also, I was going to rank the different album tours, but I love all of them equally, so I decided to do this instead. I list three reasons why I love this specific era for each tour. Also, it's given that I love all the songs performed in the different eras.

Dance Fever (2022-2023)

Florence Welch was at the top of her game as a performer.

The way that Florence interacted with her fans while singing "Dream Girl Evil."

I loved Florence's intro to singing "Never Let Me Go" and her performing the song with the band.

High as Hope (2018-2019)

Florence Welch danced toward Isabella Summers during the instrumental part of " Between Two Lungs" and fell on her keyboard at the end of the song. Isa holding Flo’s hand was also sweet. Then, we can't forget when Florence and Isabella crawled underneath the keyboard and kissed.

This GIF doesn't show this tour's "regular" wooden panel stage design, but it's one of my favorites.

Florence's emotionally deep introductions to her songs during the High as Hope tour captured the rawness and personal nature of the band's album.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful Tour (2015-2016)

Florence Welch wore a suit for most of the tour. I love her in gowns and nighty-like dresses, but the suits are badass.

Florence went into the crowd and touched men's faces during one of my favorite FATM songs, " What Kind of Man."

Isabella Summers interacted directly with fans and Florence when the band performed " Kiss with a Fist" because she didn't need to play the keyboard. She danced with Florence in the audience for one performance. Another time (in France), Isa got into a pillow fight with the fans.

Ceremonials (2011-2013)

The Art Deco stage design for this tour was so cool.

Florence Welch had an elegant look for this tour.

It's adorable how Florence picked a fan for Isabella Summers to kiss based on how enthusiastically they danced during "Spectrum." Flo and Isa had many sweet moments during "Spectrum," including sharing a kiss at least once.

Lungs Tour (2008-2011)

Florence Welch's rawness and wildness (almost out of control at times) in her performances during the Lungs era.

Florence drummed on stage, but she never did much drumming after this tour. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her next time.

The band's concerts improved greatly over the start of their career especially if you count all the performances they had before even producing the album.

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foxes-that-run · 9 months ago

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Part 3: 70 Heart kisses 2016 on

This post is in three parts:

When Harry got the Heart tattoo

70 Heart Kisses (1D years), and

70 Heart Kisses continued. (Solo career)

The amazing @womanexile and @this-daydream-is-dangerous-13started this off with finding a good chunk of these. This is by no means a complete list, I think that would be impossible. It’s also important to note that only Harry knows what this tattoo is about, why he kisses it or if that is for one person and who that is.

2017

After no performances in 2016 the heart kiss returned with HS1 but less frequently. In early 2016 Harry and Taylor had been close but by 2017 Taylor was dating Joe and Harry was very emotional on stage. See 2017 timeline. Harry also started performing with a guitar which gave his arms something to do and I think less kisses as a result.

Late March 2017 - London- During his Behind the Album performance for HS1, he not only kissed the heart, he also kisses the guitar it’s thought she had given him as a gift! This was a major moment for Harry and one he was emotional in. He is good at first but there’s a head in hands moment at 28:10. Then, emotional. Time stamps 32:09 during Sweet Creature 37:48 guitar kiss during ESNY 52:45 kisses OTHER arm during SOTT (when he was explaining the rest of the concert to that nervous fan in July, he described this song as “emotional but hopeful” so maybe that’s a hopeful thing, that arm has ‘Things I can’/the Eagle)

13 May 2017 - London- secret gig at the Garage in Islington - pink pants black shirt 7:52 during Sweet Creature

19 May 2017 - Troubadour, LA, on the eve of their 5 year anniversary of May 20th, while performing Leather and Lace with Stevie Nicks (1:18), Harry started crying and kissed the heart. Harry was really excited throughout the show, they performed two ghosts as a duet after which he said he was losing his s*** (but in a cool way, with a point to presumably James).

28 September 2017 - Radio City NY - Story of my life may have an aborted arm kiss (2:30) FTDT also (3:35). On Harry and Taylor’s 28 September anniversary. Taylor marked the day with a 70 song ‘Taylor loves’ Spotify playlist.

14 October 2017 - Phoenix - During Meet me in the Hallway (1:39). After “I walked the streets all day” before “running with the thieves”. This was Harry's last US show and he returned to Europe. His next show was in Paris where he cried twice in FTDT on 'even my phone misses your call' twice. (1:55 and again 3:30)

2 November 2017 - Glasgow- Sweet Creature on “you bring me home” (maybe, this tour had tricky lighting) (2:19) Kiwi and Reputation were released soon after.

2018

12 June 2018 - Nashville - Sweet Creature (2:45) Harry moves to kiss his arm but doesn’t after “you bring me home” he was in Taylor’s home city.

30 June 2018 - Chicago - Sweet Creature, a possible other arm kiss (5:11). Taylor and Harry were both in Chicago, Taylor played New Years Day with an introduction about jumping into icy pools that Taylor Nation has cut from their version.

2 July 2018 - St Paul - Only Angel - the other arm at 3:30 and the heart at 4:33. On the same night Harry changed the lyric of “running with wolves” to “running with you” (2:00) Taylor had played this stadium the night she had the temper trap song as arm lyrics which Harry tattooed on its anniversary. Taylor had been in nearby Chicago when Harry was there the day before and not seen this day.

In July 2020 Taylor released Cardigan with a reference to a ‘Tattoo Kiss’:

2021

The later we go the less we really know about what is going on. The heart kisses may also have different meanings.

The 2021 timeline is interesting, starting with talking at the Grammy’s then the Brits, Harry finished writing Harry’s House and Taylor started Midnights in this period.

22 September 2021 - St Paul - Falling, with Two Ghosts intro (4:31). Wildest Dreams TV was released a few days earlier, Harry and Taylor had spent time in St Paul in the past.

25 September 2021 - Chicago - Falling, at the end twice with a smile and again during Adore you. When Harry last played Chicago Taylor was also there.

21 October 2021 - Uncasville, during thank you speech. Harry and Taylor had been in Nashville at the same time earlier that month when Harry had written Satellite.

25 October 2021 - Boston - Falling. An old selfie of Joe and Taylor from 2016 leaked a few days earlier.

27 October 2021 - Atlanta - the start of Falling (0:09) right arm kiss. On the anniversary of 1989’s release. On the same day Taylor posted an instagram reel captioned ‘Basic autumn lovers RISE’ reenacting a 2014 Tumblr post including trying lyrics to ATW ‘Just between us did he love affair maim you too?’

10 November 2021 - Sacramento - Falling - on ‘it kills me we have run out of things to say’ link. Harry wore Red to celebrate the Re-record of Red TV, which is the first of Taylor's albums with songs about Harry.

13 November 2021 - Arizona, Falling with Two Ghosts intro (2:17), Red TV was released the day before.

19 November 2021 - LA, The Forum, in the welcome speech after thanking his support act. Taylor was in Panama to visit Joe, after Taylor returned for the All Too Well premier she wrote the majority of Midnights including You’re Losing Me.

28 November 2021 - Long Island - Falling (4:08) Right arm kiss. After this show Harry was MIA and Olivia seen alone. The next week, Taylor wrote You’re Losing me and wore a Gucci Lion Ring to a party.

2022

As above, we know less about Harry’s relationships now, however the 2022 timeline is also interesting. Taylor completed Midnights and based on it’s lyrics, her relationship with Joe was not great. Harry released Harry’s House and at the end of the year broke up with Olivia.

20 May 2022 - NYC - ONO - start of Satellite (1:13) another link. On Harry’s House Release, an important life event, in New York, on the anniversary of 20 May at the start of performing Satellite for the first time.

26 June 2022 - Hamburg during his welcome speech when introducing the support act. Harry was on his European tour dates, in the last months of dating OW. These were the first months of Harry touring the Harry’s House songs.

29 June 2022 - Stockholm - introducing Matilda (1:12 and again at 1:36) Harry said it was great to be back in Sweden (he once tweeted that same phrasing at a time Taylor was MIA in Europe and he posted a colour IG photo) and that he is happiest performing.

1 July 2022 - Oslo when inducing Matilda, Harry told the story about the party bus, that Oslo has a special place in his heart then that Matilda has nothing to do with that story but is special. (1:50) and again when introducing WMYB (0:06)

11 July 2022 - Munich during Adore You and LOML. (Better view of loml)

16 July 2022 Vienna - during Adore you, after the crowd saying let me adore you and him saying “okay”

5 July 2022 - Paris - after saying “I love Paris” while introducing As It Was. Harry and Taylor have referenced Paris many times as special to them.

31 July 2022 - Lisbon - start of Kiwi (12:49)

1 August 2022 - Toronto - cinema - kissed the eagle covering ‘things I can’ after “it’s you, and I’m not getting over it” previous kisses have been after break ups indicating wanting to change something

10 September 2022- Madison Square Garden Night 12, LOML. Harry and Taylor were both in NY, Harry started a 5 week stint of wearing the Peace Ring. Neither Harry & Olivia or Taylor & Joe seemed friendly, with both break ups announced in coming months.

27 October 2022 - LA - introducing WMYB (day music for a sushi restaurant dropped and 1989 anniversary). Taylor was on the Graham Norton show talking about the re-records and announcing the Eras tour.

29 October 2022 - LA N5 in Sign of the Times

31 October 2022 - Harryween LA Timestamp 1:50 during LOML before it's unfortunate..

2023

The later we go the less we really know about what is going on. The heart kisses may also have different meanings.

The 2023 timeline is interesting, Harry had separated from Olivia, Taylors separation from Joe was announced. They were both on tour and both replaced setlist songs with older Haylor songs.

29 January 2023 - Los Angeles, Forum Night 15 - Love of My Life - Anatomical Heart Kiss (0:42) Harry also played Medicine! Between filming Satellite and the Grammy’s

31 January 2023 - Palm Springs - during Matilda , after the lyric ‘make your tea and your toast’. (2:13) The week before Harry put Little Freak in the HSLOT set

21 February 2023 Perth LOML, During woman re-added to the setlist.

28 Feburary 2023 - Gold Coast, QLD - during Satellite after “do you want to talk?” (4:48)

13 June 2023 - Wembley - kissed other arm (0:06) during Grapejuice and kissed the Heart Tattoo during As It Was after “...and I’m the one who will stay” (0:41) The day before Taylor played All You Had to Do was Stay as a Surprise Song on the 10th June. Harry played Best Song Ever intro to WMYB.

17 June 2023 - Wembley - at the end of Sweet Creature Harry went to kiss the tattoo and stopped himself then looked at the crowd with a cheeky embarrassed look. (3:16). Gemma had a baby 8 months later. Taylor had a particularly emotional show that night. She gave an extra wild Champagne Problems speech and extra long and weird Betty Speech and had Aaron Dessner out to play Seven and hugs Taylor at the end. Later a photo of TR sitting with Jeff in one of the Wembley crowds surfaced months later. Interestingly, this is the anniversary of Taylors 2011 Lover Journal entry days after Harry was MIA in the US when Taylor had the Temper Trap arm lyrics in St Paul.

18 June 2023 - Wembley link Wembley n1 during as it was another link. I think the show above sums this up. Cruel Summer was officially released as a single 2 days later.

#haylor #harry styles #tattoo kiss #Youtube

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lil-melody-moon · 11 months ago

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Hello, love! I hope you’re doing well❤️

You know I love the way you express yourself when it comes to talk about music. It’s always so satisfying to read how passionate you are for the bands and songs you love so I wanted to ask you a few questions.

I’d like to name this section…Let’s talk about The Who!! (I’m sorry, I’m sorry HAHAHA) All right, let’s get started with the questions:

- How did you find out about The Who? What made you fall in love with the band?

- What’s your favourite album? And your favourite song?

- Have you seen all of their movies? (Tommy, Quadrophenia, The kids are alright…) What are your thoughts on their movies? (I haven’t seen any of them but I’m looking forward to seeing Tommy cause it’s my favourite The Who album)

- Why is Keith Moon your favourite? (I know you love drummers😏 but I’d like to know what makes you love Keith so much)

- Some people like to compare The Who with Led Zeppelin to the point they say The Who is way much better than Led Zeppelin. I’ve heard they say that Who’s Next is better than Led Zeppelin IV. I think they’re both good bands with great musicians but I don’t think I’ve heard The Who enough to form a solid opinion on who’s the better band so I’d like to know your opinion since you listen to both bands.

- And for the last question: If you could go back in time, which The Who concert would you like to attend and why.

If you want to add some more information about them such as fun facts or things you’ve recently discovered/learnt about them, please do it.😂 Thank you so much for taking your time answering my silly questions. I’m getting my revenge for pushing me into Def Leppard (Just Kidding, I love you Mel❤️)

Hello! I'm kinda fine, thank you <3

Uuuu, I like the sound of that! Let's start then, shall we? :3 I'll tag you additionally if something breaks @jimmysdragonsuit13

How did you find out about The Who? What made you fall in love with the band?

How did I find out about them…Oh God, we gotta go back toooooooooooo… 2008 actually. Tiny me walked into the living room when mom was watching CSI: Las Vegas and you know. I knew mom loved watching tv series with murders and what not so I stood in the hall, looking at the tv, curiously and then came the intro, short version of "Who Are You". I heard them for the first time that evening and tiny me was blown away. Mom eventually noticed me, because I walked in the living room and asked her if I can watch with her, silently hoping this intro will play again and I was blown away again by the instrumental at the very end.

I've watched all three series with her - I actually need to give them a good watch sometime soon - and I know one day I've asked her about the intros. She didn't remember the band's name, but all she told me was this: "Those songs are long and kind of weird. This band was weird, let's begin with this. Crazy, destroying everything, but how they were called again?" and she didn't recalled sadly and I wasn't interested to the point of searching by myself - mind you, I was at primary school, had it really stressful, was bullied, searching for a band and get into them, especially if they were old was the last thing on my mind back then. So I gave it up, just enjoying the intros.

Now, let's skip to me being in high school. I think to 2016, it was probably this year that I started get into music with mom's and dad's help mostly, but also the guy I really liked. This was my Metallica phase, strongest one, and the second one out of three, and Japanese music phase, but anyway. I know that while mom searched for music to download we stumbled upon The Who - I remember the fragment which was played and it was that moment from the tv program, where Keith blew up his drum kit. It was short, so I didn't get to listen to them well, but mom somehow recalled my question about CSI intros and she told me, it was them XD But she cut my curiosity short by saying that they aren't very good, dad agreeing with her. I was very susceptible to their opinions back then so I gave up on them again.

Just to rediscover them in the last year at May or June. TV Station randomly played "My Generation" and while dad was complaining - he hates them - I just listened. First time without any breaks and like, I was "Okay, they're fine" for most part. Enter the drumming instrumental break tho and from "Okay, they're fine" I just sat there, listening, saying to myself: "THAT guy is GOOD", but I couldn't see him properly back then. Skip to July, when I started using Instagram again, and the app was like: "You know? You forgot about someone" showing me Keith Moon. It was this photo:

So the usual, totally wasted Moon <3 But you know, I didn't connect that he was the guy I considered this good. Skip ahead a few weeks and tumblr showed me gifs with him - and I think it was YOU who reblogged this gifset - when he was totally elegant and I was like: "That's… That's Moon?!" reading in the tags what band he was in. And like from this day I just wanted to find an opportunity to listen to The Who, but dad came in with "I will show you Deep Purple now" and I skipped a few chances on getting "Who's Next" album at the record store, actually feeling that I should get it, but I somehow didn't for some weird reason.

I was fucking hesitant. Like, I remember finding this album, staring at the cover, thinking to myself: "That's Moon's band, the one he was in…" and you know, I almost reached for it, but I didn't for some reason - later regretting it big time, but like, skip a little bit more (this is a span of a MONTH I think) and Spotify randomly played "Love Ain't For Keeping" from this very album, actually throwing me so off guard, because I always heard their more chaotic songs and this one just entered, with the drumming, the good guitar, Roger started singing, the lyrics flowed SO WELL. I was blown away for the fourth time in my life by them XD

And I think that I only waited two days to listen to the entire album and once I did, fifth time being blown away has to enter the stage. With this, we can go to the second question of this part of the "Let’s talk about The Who!!" (I love the name!).

So, what made me fall in love with the band. …I gotta start from this… The thing that made me blink and stare at the tv when I was 10, literally hypnotized, the one that made me actually consider giving them a try is the fucking drumming! I MEAN, DID YOU FUCKING HEARD THAT?! I know you did, that was rhetorical XD Just the way Keith plays it's like… It's the ideal way of playing drums to me. There's literally nothing better for me than to hear the beating on the double bass drums from him, not to mention the constant fills, the way he just seems to use every single drum, even if his drum kit looked like this:

This guy was all over his instrument, actually making it sound like a freaking lead one, and you can't tell me, nobody can't tell me that The Who had other lead instrument than the drums. I mean, you only have to compare one song to 1978 and any other one after that year. I will never say that Kenney or Starkey are bad drummers, far from that, but the fucking emptiness in later songs after 1978 is unbearable for me. And not like I listened to only one song and said: "Nope, I'm sticking to the albums to 1978" and that's that, no. I actually listened to a few where Kenney played on the compilation album I got for myself and I just couldn't stand the shift. I can't shake the feeling that the songs after 1978 are a shell of what they could be, so for my own sanity I decided to stick to the albums to the 1978 and that's that and I'm happy. I'm a really happy lil Pole now <3

Second reason would be the lyrics. And now get this, I'm never, almost never paying attention to lyrics, especially when I listen to a song for the first time, but like… Pete is a genius at lyrics. Probably the most free to interpretations pieces of poetry/lyrics I have ever seen. It happened a few times that the meaning that Pete wanted to get through the lyrics was totally different to how I felt about the song, but like if both interpretations work for both sides, it's good. This is how you actually write good poetry and I tend to think of The Who's lyrics like that. Taking a fragment of "Who Are You" as an example, which is probably my most favorite fragment of any lyrics Pete wrote:

I know there's a place you walked Where love falls from the trees My heart is like a broken cup I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole Yet still receive your kiss How can I measure up to anyone now After such a love as this?

Such tiny details in lyrics, lovely ones are really scattered everywhere in the songs and they get me every time. "Love Is Coming Down" is entirely like this, the instrumental actually giving more than the lyrics, they being only as another instrument, at least I feel about them like that. Which also brings us to third reason and that being Roger's vocals.

I freaking love his voice. The way he can express emotions is like nothing else I heard before - not saying that Robert Plant is in any way worse, he isn't, but like their screams of emotions can't be compared. "Love Reign O'er Me" settled the bar too high for me, sorry Robert! But like, Roger also has that specific tone of voice that gets to me. I can't explain what is it, but it's just good to listen to you know - even when he speaks, it's just making me a bit tingly inside - also his laugh is adorable, not to mention his smile!

And like, John Entwistle can't be listed as fourth reason, but I actually like his playing, like a lot and I can't skip on him. I like all of them, I really can't skip on John XD He has such a nice style of bass playing and I'm definitely not a fan of this instrument XD John is such a big exception as Paul McCartney is. Making me like bass in songs is almost impossible, so this guy literally achieved the impossible.

All of THAT, would sum up the answer for your first two questions. Now, let's move to the next ones, shall we? :3

What’s your favourite album? And your favourite song?

Favorite album would be "Quadrophenia" and I doubt that will change, even if I finally listen to "The Who Sell Out". "Quadrophenia" is so much deeper than "Tommy", at least for me. You know, it's that kind of album that when I've listened to it for the first time, I knew it was my favorite from the get go, the one that spoke to me right away. It actually carries a somehow heavy story that can't be shown in any other way than through music.

Everything is put perfectly, from the first sounds of sea to the last sounds of insane drumming at the very end, but let me just state why I feel like that towards this album. There are literally no skips on this one for me, each song is unique, but it only makes sense if you listen to it with the rest. It's also the case where the lyrics got my attention. I have a weird case of not listening to lyrics, but here, when I've listened to it for the first time, I had to check out the lyrics to "Cut My Hair" because something just brought my attention to it. One listen was for the music, second listen for the lyrics and I got the grasp of the story that this one tries to tell, even seeing two acts in this one. I will part the album in two while talking about songs if you don't mind <3 First half being from "I Am The Sea" to "I've Had Enough" and second beginning from "5:15" and ending at "Love Reign O'er Me".

The shift that happens between "The Dirty Jobs" to "I've Had Enough", followed by the masterpiece that is "5:15" - the first song I've heard from this album, fun fact - which gives an amazing feel of traveling far away from everyone, just wanting to disappear is insanely good. I usually stick to the second part of the album, because like the first half is focused on showing Jimmy's (the poor sod that is the main protagonist of this story) everyday life, the second shows him actually losing everything bit by bit - I'm talking about this album for the third time, it should be my bachelor degree by now XD - and that is what makes this album shine for me.

Let me just sum up the songs of the second half real quick - mind you that I didn't read the lyrics and this is my interpretation from what I feel from the music, heard from lyrics, got emotionally and saw in the movie:

5:15 - a journey by a train to nowhere, just far away from the everyday routine after losing everything, literally everything (this is so well shown in the movie!)

Sea and Sand - actual feeling that can be described as calm after the storm, just calm loneliness, the urge to disappear from life, from existence

Drowned - wanting to come back to the sea, suicide attempt, failed, but it's still there, feeling of helplessness

Bell Boy - meeting the idol that is not who Jimmy imagined to be, feel of betrayal, the biggest one (you can even say that Jimmy's world crumbled at this point)

Doctor Jimmy - insanity, all of the personalities coming out, one or two always triggered after alcohol or drugs, the feeling of not caring about anything and anyone even about himself

The Rock - the grand final, giving up on life, struggling before doing so, regret of being born, everything that happened is just too much and here is the second suicide attempt

Love Reign O'er Me - an emotional ballad that sums up the feeling of the entire story, it doesn't give a conclusion, the conclusion if Jimmy died, riding off the cliff or not is up to you (I usually go with the conclusion that Jimmy drowned, but his body was washed ashore on an abandoned island and now his soul is stuck there, as he's too troubled to go to the afterlife, maybe meeting similar soul there, but like that is the ending I'm usually going with).

All of that, all of the second half of the album is the best piece of music I have ever heard. Not only the story but musically it's just… As a whole it's probably the best album of the 70s for me, but also, I think I kind of feel sorry for the poor sod that is named Jimmy, connecting to his "trying to fit in the world" a bit too personally. Like, seeing/hearing his struggle, his hesitation, just trying to find a place for himself in the world that certainly "is not for him" just got to me. Additionally there comes the open ending and like my conclusion is one of the many you can come up with really. And there's also the repeated theme that plays throughout the entire album, the main theme of Quadrophenia, it's just so good to listen to. Sad, melancholic with a bit of hope/calling for help. As of now, you should know I love sadness in music, so that was a given I would be attached to this album.

But now, going to my favorite song. I certainly have a lot, like: "My Generation", "A Legal Matter", "The Ox", "Cobwebs and Strange", "Happy Jack" (drumming, OMG, DRUMMING IN THIS ONE), "Overture", "1921", "Eyesight of the Blind (The Hawker)", "Underture", "Pinball Wizard", "Tommy's Holiday Camp", "We're Not Gonna Take It", "Love Ain't For Keeping", "The Song Is Over", "Getting In Tune", whole "Quadrophenia", "Slip Kid", "However Much I Booze", "Squeeze Box", "Trick Of The Light", "Love Is Coming Down", "Who Are You", BUT there is one that isn't listed here and was mentioned up above.

And that, my dear friend, is "Bell Boy". There are three reasons for that. First reason and the main one is the fact that Keith Moon is singing in this one. This is literally all it took to make me love this song and it happened immediately - just imagine me listening to this one for the first time, suddenly hearing Keith, I was NEVER this happy before XD Second being the opening of the song. It begins with Keith's drumming, what can I want more? XD Third reason, this song is absolutely catchy. I have no other reasons, they are pretty simple, but like, I can't help but love this song! Plus there's this part of the lyrics where Keith sings - with a very pretty voice of his:

Some nights I still sleep on the beach Remember when stars were in reach Then I wander in early to work Spend my day licking boots for my perks

And I kind of tend to imagine him sitting on that beach at night, looking at stars, everything silent, only the sound of sea heard. …Just a calm image that is appearing in my mind each time I hear him start singing this verse, but that is a detail. Moving on!

Have you seen all of their movies? (Tommy, Quadrophenia, The Kids are alright...) What are your thought on their movies? (I haven't seen any of them but I'm looking forward to seeing Tommy cause it's my favourite The Who Album)

Not at all, but I saw "Tommy" and "Quadrophenia". I'm slowly getting to watch "The Kids Are Alright", but I'm a bit hesitant about this one. Dunno why, I just am - something is telling me to wait with it XD

My general thought about those two is that they are okay, like really okay, but like, they could be better, especially "Quadrophenia" and so I will go with this one first!

So, as you know it's my favorite album and I have to say that the movie shows the entire plot very well. It's rough, actually being very similar to the photos that were done for this album specifically and it gives away the vibe of 1965 (I think) very damn well, comparing it to the photos. Actors are okay - the one who plays Jimmy stole my heart, I can't help but have a crush on this poor sod, all the reasons you've already read, so I won't repeat myself, but I do have a few things that itches me about this movie.

The order of the songs and that some of them were cut out of it. Don't get me wrong, I know there had to be changes made, some songs are replaced by the actual acting and that's cool, but mixing the order of the songs is totally different. I'm talking specifically about the moment they've played "Love Reign O'er Me". It threw me so off guard at first, it was just not sitting well with me. This is a freaking conclusion song and they threw it right before "Bell Boy" started to play, before the scene where Jimmy sees his idol working at a hotel as a bell boy. The song playing in the background saved me from a rant when I was watching it with a friend, but ya know, it was just the worst moment to play it, like come the fuck on XD

And I have a very big BUT to Sting being in this movie. Like, this guy is a brick, he can't fucking act, he has a poker face the entire freaking time, like move a muscle on your face! XD But there also was that motif in the album that each band member had his song, "Bell Boy" being Keith's song, making the character Ace Face his character and Sting does not do well in that character. I mean, after listening to the album, knowing about it, knowing how Keith was it just doesn't add up at all. It would probably, or most definitely, look different if Keith was still alive at that time, because Pete clearly stated in one interview (if I remember correctly) that there were plans in 1978 to make the "Quadrophenia" movie and for all members of the band to be in this one, so I think Keith would automatically play as Ace Face - just like it happened with Uncle Ernie in "Tommy", BUT THAT LATER - and the interpretation of the character would be accurate with the source material. This is what ticks me off personally a little bit, but like I have no right to blame anyone and I won't.

Overall the entire movie could be much worse, I'm kind of happy with what I saw. So now… Moving to "Tommy"…

I'll be honest with you, I've watched the movie first, then listened to the original album and while I like the original score much more, I can't say a bad word about the musical. It's sometimes weird, fucked up, scenes are very long, they made me uncomfortable due to the fact how Tommy is treated - I literally feel so sorry for him the entire time, I almost hate every character in this one - besides two, Tommy and one more, but that later, and God, how happy I was at the very end! This musical makes a nice loop actually and I won't spoil it for you, but like, remember the opening scene on a mountain when you'll watch it, just remember it <3

Some songs are changed, like very changed, I love some changes, I hate some, but like, all of them fit the artists in the musical, so that's good. I don't have to like everything, but like this musical did something. I actually told myself at the beginning of the last year when I've dropped out of anime and all the fictional worlds for good that I won't fall for a fictional character. I meant it only for animated guys, the ones in games - you know, a bunch of lines/pixels - but I didn't think about actors and characters they are playing. I started watching movies very recently, actually enjoying them more and more and this movie, this freaking musical made me break the promise. Uncle fucking Ernie stepped into my life and I was a goner! LET ME EXPLAIN!

I knew, I was aware that Keith plays in this movie. My freaking bestie send me some gifs of him from this musical on Discord and even then I was like "This is probably from "Tommy", I bet my ass it is" and I was right. I know what character Uncle Ernie is, but like my bestie said "You always liked the worst, it doesn't surprise me anymore" and that's kind of typical for me. But this had five stages actually.

First being the scene where he showed up for the first time in that small window of his. I leaned in the direction of the tv, this scene was pretty dark and it was a bright afternoon and I was like: "That's Keith, isn't it?" not being sure 100%, but I was excited. Second, then came the scene where "Fiddle About" is playing. And I swear it to you, I fucking swear it to you, I've never was laughing and feeling embarrassed to the point of blushing and curling on my bed ever in my entire life. Not gonna spoil this beauty, but this musical and Uncle Ernie destroyed the word "fiddle" for me XD Third being that one tiny scene where Tommy is famous already and Uncle Ernie has a cameo there. He is somehow changed, the outfit and general look, vibe totally the same, creepy older guy, but like… The fact that I thought: "Oh… You look good…" should be a big red flag for me, but I carried on. Bring in the fourth stage where "Tommy's Holiday Camp" plays. Uncle Ernie is totally changed in this one, probably trying to look friendly and that made me say out loud: "Oh fuck, now you look hot" and that just started a wave of things. Fifth stage being a few days after the movie, having a conversation with myself that went like this: "You remember Tommy, right?" "Yep" "Remember Uncle Ernie?" "How could I forget?" "You would let him fuck you, wouldn't you?" "…" "…" "Yes…" And that brought up this post, which is still a big state of my mind, ESPECIALLY during horny days and it also brought up a big au where I've made a self-insert in this musical, went for a uncle-niece trope and actually worked on it so hard to make everything work as I wanted, that I'm proud of this personal fuckery I've made. In conclusion, I love this fucker and that's that <3 (Hmhm, I will watch "Tommy" at my horny days with friends, this will end well)

Also, a fun fact! I vaguely remember that I've watched this movie when I was tiny, I could be 3 back then, but I remember two scenes from it. The one when it's shown how Nora is disgusted by Tommy when he's already famous and she's sitting in that white house of theirs, all rich. I remember this scene because it's just turns weirder and weirder, but no spoilers for you ;3 And the one where "Tommy's Holiday Camp" starts, Keith as Uncle Ernie having his second 5 seconds of glory. Just a random fact <3

Why is Keith Moon your favourite? (I know you love drummers😏 but I’d like to know what makes you love Keith so much)

…Oh My God, this will get emotional…

Okay, first of all! Keith is the guy who started my obsession with drumming. He set the ideal type of drumming style that I love, with those short intros to CSI. Sure, I could forget about him in those longer breaks between encountering The Who once in a while, but unconsciously I always knew what I was searching in drumming. That would actually explain why I was always bored when I heard the drums going in one rhythm, without any changes in songs. I just had a type, thanks to who I've discovered in the last year.

Second would be his personality. I still don't know a lot about him - still hunting for a book about him! - but from what I know, knowing what flaws he had, how he acted around people, just the tiny details I could catch here and there, watching documentaries, especially that one that made me hysterical at the very end… I don't know, I just got so attached to him in such a short span that it's insane. One week I was cautious about him, knowing how much he drunk, how much drugs he took. Second week I started getting attached, just to fall in love with him in the third week. Sure, that one documentary had a lot to do with it - it was talking mainly about his last day of life and talking about his life in short, but what was okay was the fact that his girlfriend was in it, talking about him as well - and you know, I learned a lot at that day, the fact how he died bringing the previously mentioned hysteria and I just… It was the day that started the rest of the reasons of why I like him so much. It just kicked everything in.

So third reason that appeared at the same day would be the fact that I saw a mirror image of my dad in him. And I'm not joking here. Mostly in the behavior and addictions. My dad's a tame version of Moon in those two aspects, except drugs luckily, but like, seeing how Keith died and knowing damn well that he and my dad had the same drinking addiction and knowing how bad it was with dad - alcohol was slowly killing him, it was slowly destroying my family - I saw in that moment that if not one accident that happened and if not my mom's constant fight for dad to stop drinking, my dad would end the fucking same as Keith. And like, I think my mind made that connection, caused a hysteria, understood the tragedy and I think I started to feel sorry for Keith to the point of the insanity that is now.

Which also brings us to the fact that I started seeing a handsome guy in him. No matter the age, I just see a handsome, exactly my type of a guy. And like I know I sound insane, but for the entire life I felt like I was searching for something. This feeling only getting stronger two years ago when I got interested in music, started listening to older bands and you know. I've jumped from The Doors to The Beatles, from The Beatles to Led Zeppelin, from Led Zeppelin to Deep Purple just to jump from Deep Purple to The Who, this day making the feeling of searching disappear. Like, I've found Keith, that's all I apparently wanted. Keith is a special guy to me and I can't help it but love him to the point that I decided if I don't have a boyfriend now, he'll get the entire love I can offer, even if it's only in form of fics or scenarios in my head.

And like, something else happened as well. I sometimes have strange dreams where I can see the dead ones and I had one like that with Keith. I can't tell you what exactly happened there, because I don't remember, but like, one fragment remains: I was sitting with him on a white floor (it's always a white space) across in close proximity. We were talking about something, dunno what, but Keith was so happy. He was actually beaming with happiness, making me laugh with something he said and from here I only know that he got closer to me, but what did he do? I have no idea, yet I felt tingly all over my body the entire day. I feel tingly when I think back to that dream, but like, that happiness of his was so real. And this dream happened a day after I heard "Love Ain't For Keeping", day before I've listened to "Who's Next". And funny thing, after I listened to the album, I heard in my mind: "Finally back at home". Just a thought crossing my mind randomly. I can't explain that as well.

But the attachment grew to the point of how it is now. I don't know, I just feel like at home with him around. Even if he's just in the music, he's still around and even the thought of that brings a smile on my face. Also a lot, and I mean A LOT of The Who's lyrics makes me think about him, bringing in the slight urge of taking care of him. "Love Is Coming Down" is probably the best example for that, but like the scattered fragments of beautiful poetry I've mentioned earlier… I was talking about the fragments that always makes me think of him. And sure, yeah, I ship myself with him just for fun, to make most of my loneliness go away, but like I do feel a strong connection to him. I don't know if it's a soulmate thing, if it's attachment, if it's just a simple human sympathy or if it's just a woman's lonely heart going insane, because it thinks that it found the second half, but like… Keith is special for me for all of those reasons and I think I could find many more, but those are the most important ones.

I feel like a piece of me that should be in the place finally got in and I'm happy with that <3

Some people like to compare The Who with Led Zeppelin to the point they say The Who is way much better than Led Zeppelin. I’ve heard they say that Who’s Next is better than Led Zeppelin IV. I think they’re both good bands with great musicians but I don’t think I’ve heard The Who enough to form a solid opinion on who’s the better band so I’d like to know your opinion since you listen to both bands.

Oh God, I've never compared them. I mean, okay, I did two times. Once because I wanted to decide who's got his ass on the first place of favorite drummers - this was a hell! - and second while answering on one of your questions, but now that I think about it…

It's still difficult to choose, because both are great bands and their style is completely different in everything: bass, drums, lyrics, vocals, guitar, everything. And I know that people love to compare, I don't do that, unless I have to decide on the ranking, but that's like personal thing.

I would say who is better depends on the music taste, because some will love The Who, hate Led Zeppelin and the other way around (my dad hates The Who, loves Led Zeppelin) and honestly if I was asked about that, like I am now, I would have to compare them depending on my taste, so I would have to do the same as I did a few months ago to make it clear who's on the first place on my long long LONG list of drummers. Album comparison doesn't make sense for me, because you can clearly hear that "Led Zeppelin IV" has a totally different vibe than "Who's Next", but then it's also a matter of music taste and if there's no skips on album.

But if it comes to solely my opinion, so coming back to the struggle on who's better, John Bonham or Keith Moon, I'm gonna say that Keith is slightly better than John and that makes The Who automatically be better than Led Zeppelin for me. But again, slightly. It's such a small difference that they could be both on the first place if I didn't want a clear answer.

Then again, it's a funny situation, the comparison of drummers. I remember saying at August that if I ever find a better drummer than John Bonham that'll be a miracle. I shouldn't have said that, you know? XD

And for the last question: If you could go back in time, which The Who concert would you like to attend and why

Ack, fuck, I only watched two of them XD But there are two, most definitely!

The one from Charlton from 1974, the last one I've watched and the second. It was a good concert really, Keith was incredible - and they played "Bell Boy", I would pay everything to be there and hear him sing!

And the one concert I didn't watch and just had to search where it was and what year it was, it's the one from Kilburn from 1977. I only saw one fragment of it, one song, but like, if Keith was acting like a bastard who wanted to piss everyone off the entire time, sign me the fuck up! Plus, it's the concert where he wears this costume - it's mainly purple and white, all sparkly!

I love it! I even specifically searched for this photo to get it on my facebook header - yes, Moonie is even there! - because I wanted this specific Keith, from this specific time and in this specific outfit! I just love him in this one. Fuck I need to watch this concert one day XD

And please, the only thing I've recently discovered was a fragment of an interview, when Keith was talking about how he destroyed every room below his one in a hotel by making the waterbed break, water destroying the floors and ceilings while he was sitting on in his chair, looking like: "Well, that happened" as if he didn't expect it would break XD I love this idiot so much, I can't fucking express it properly XD Oh come on, they weren't silly, I had a blast with them! Oh, your revenge you say… Well then mischievous grin Expect to receive something soonish ;3 (Love you too, take care! <3)

#we'll see if this works #if everything will be saved #God it's so long!#ask corner

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everythingbap · 8 months ago

Text

Bang Yongguk Reddit AMA Part 1

A/N: translations may have inaccuracies. Part 2 here!

Hey guys! This is BANG YONGGUK, back again for another round of AMA with you 💪

I’m off to my world tour, BANG YONGGUK ‘III’ THE US TOUR 2024 very soon.

Ask me anything, and I’ll try my best to answer all of your questions!

Don’t forget to grab your tickets for our tour if you're in the US!

04/05 BROOKLYN🎟️ https://livemu.sc/4a0bdrG

04/07 LOUISVILLE🎟️ https://bit.ly/49TB9VU

04/09 CHICAGO🎟️ https://bit.ly/432IrV6

04/12 ORLANDO🎟️ https://bit.ly/48Di5Kx

04/14 DALLAS🎟️ https://livemu.sc/3wxC5AT

04/17 HOUSTON🎟️ https://bit.ly/3T6x2yS

04/19 PHOENIX🎟️ https://bit.ly/3TlTNQL

04/21 LAS VEGAS🎟️ https://bit.ly/4c2SmhG

04/23 SACRAMENTO🎟️ https://bit.ly/3TmZYnM

04/26 SAN DIEGO🎟️ https://bit.ly/431DPyE

04/28 LOS ANGELES🎟️ https://bit.ly/3V9LCZr

Meet & Greet🎟️ https://mmt.fans/bwkW

Also, stay tuned for my latest album, [3], releasing March 31st!

I’m always active on socials. Follow me to stay tuned for cool performances and more music!

Instagram: [https://www.instagram.com/bangstergram/]

Twitter: [https://twitter.com/BAP_Bangyongguk]

Youtube: [https://www.youtube.com/@bangyg]

BABY: Hi Yongguk! I've been a fan of you since you've been in B.A.P, and I have been supporting you ever since! Congratulations on having another world tour, I wish I could see you perform live one day though. I have a few questions though.

1- How fun was it to produce and create your upcoming album? 2- Do you have any advice for getting through the day when things are stressful? 3- Are there any songs from your career that you wish you could've went back and remade?

Thank you so much for being a part of my life and thank you for your hard work. I hope your upcoming world tour goes well!

BYG: 크레에이티브 디렉터로 다시 복귀할 수 있어서 이번 앨범은 과정은 힘들었지만 즐거웠던 것 같아요. 스트레스는 내가 무시하는 것 중 하나야. 가만히 명상해보자. 리메이크 가능하다면 내 첫 정규앨범 BANGYONGGUK을 리믹스해서 LP로 만들고 싶네. I think it was hard but fun to be back as creative director for this album. Stress is among the things I ignore. Let's try and meditate. If a remake were possible, I'd like to remix my first album BANGYONGGUK and make it into an LP.

BABY: Hiiiii! Could you please sing Going Crazy or 4:AM at your tour? I know it’s difficult the second one, but how do you feel about it now?

BYG: 아마 감정적으로는 힘들겠지만 4:44를 부를수 있을 것 같아요. It's probably hard emotionally, but I think I could sing AM 4:44.

BABY: 오빠 행복하세요? ❤️ Oppa, are you happy? ❤️

BYG:

BABY: Hello Yongguk!! Who are your favorite artists at the moment? Do you have any recommendations?

And do you plan on doing a Latam tour?

BYG: 몇 년째 계획만 되고 있네. 나 언제 시작할 수 있을까? I've only been planning for years. When can I start?

BABY: 꼭 해보고 싶었고 지금까지 해볼 수 없었던 일이 있을까용? Is there something you really wanted to do until now but couldn't?

BYG: 언제까지 가능할지 모르지만 아직까진 나는 항상 100% 노력했어요. I don't know how long something is possible, but so far I've always tried 100%.

BABY: And you have great fingernails, how do you take care of them??? My nails are terrible 😭

BYG: 손톱을 사랑해주세요. Please love your fingernails.

BABY: Hi! I've been a BABY since 2012 and I've loved listening to your solo music, I'm so excited for the new album!

What's your favorite part of touring? Is there anything that's hard about it?

BYG: 도시마다 색 다른 분위기를 느끼는 걸 좋아해요. 몸은 힘들지만 무대 위에서 여러분을 만날때 그걸 잊어버리는 것 같네요. I like feeling the different atmospheres of each city. It's tiring, but when I meet you all on stage, it seems I forget about that.

BABY: hi yongguk!! i've been a fan of B.A.P since debut and i honestly think B.A.P in Melbourne (2016) was the best concert i've ever been to!! it was my first as well :)

i'd like to ask, are there any scents that u're attached to? i.e. hold sentimental value or something that just improves your mood 😊

good luck w ur tour !!

BYG: 응 나는 바디로션과 향수 냄새를 오랫동안 바꾸지 않았는데 이건 집착에 일부인가 봐. Yeah, I haven't changed the scent of my body lotion and perfume in a long time, but it must be part of an obsession.

BABY: Hello Yongguk!

What song of yours do you find most difficult to perform? (Physically and/or emotionally).

I hope you have a great tour ♥️

BYG: AM 4:44

BABY: Hi Yongguk, your music has helped me a lot through tough times. Thank you for being you and for sharing your lovely self with the world through your music! 💫❤️‍🔥

I just want to ask, what advice would you give to other aspiring artists and musicians?

BYG: 스스로에게 계속 도전하세요. 누군가의 조언 보다 스스로의 목소리에 귀 기울이세요. 예술은 A.I가 대체할 수 없을 거라고 생각해. 널 알아봐 줄 1명의 팬만 있다면 성공한 거야. 힘내고 사랑하자. Keep challening yourself. Listen to your own voice instead of someone else's advice. I don't think AI can replace art. If you have even just one fan who recognizes you, you're a success. Let's cheer up and love each other.

BABY: What is your favourite Emoji you like best?

BYG:

BABY: 미국에 가기전에 한국에서 마지막 식사로 뭐 먹을까여?ㅋㅋㅋ What should I eat for my last meal in Korea before I go to the U.S.? Hehe

BYG: 라면? Ramyeon?

BABY: If you could be any animal for a day, what animal would you choose?

BYG:

BABY: Yongguk! What’s your comfort tv show? <3

BYG: 날 위한 쇼는 내가 직접 만들어야할것 같아. 나 잘 알잖아요? I think I have to make a show for myself. You know me well, right?

BABY: hello Yongguk!! i wish you the best for your tour! i was wondering if you had any future collabs planned 👀 ty!

BYG: 여름에 새로운 프로젝트를 기획하고 있네? I have plans for a new project in summer?

BABY: Hi! Thank you for doing an AMA! Do you do anything special to take care of your voice while you tour?

BYG: 아마 투어가 시작되면 열심히 뜨거운 차를 마셔야 할꺼야. I should probably drink a lot of hot tea when my tour starts.

BABY: What is something on your bucket list?

BYG: 여름에 알게 될 거예요. You'll find out in summer.

BABY: What superpower would you love to have?

BYG: 시공간을 조종하고 싶네요. I want to manipulate time and space.

BABY: yongguk, you’ve been my biggest inspiration for the longest time who is your inspiration in music or do you just go with your own vibe these days?

BYG: 최근에는 월드투어가 큰 영감을 줬던 것 같네요? I think the world tour has been a big inspiration lately?

BABY: 안녕 방용국 오빠 ! Hello Bang Yongguk-oppa !

Do you have any plans in the future to film another documentary like "Something to Talk About?"

It would be interesting to see your progression as a person and as an artist since 2019!

감사합니다! 💚 Thank you! 💚

BYG: 새로운 다큐멘터리를 보게 된다면 아마 3-4년은 걸릴 거예요. I think it will probably take around 3-4 years to see a new documentary.

BABY: Hello Yongguk! Excited for your tour. What's one song you always look forward to performing on stage?

BYG: 5번트랙 Track number 5

BABY: Hello Yongguk! Are there any new genres of music you would like to try or have tried and really liked?

BYG: 이번 앨범 재미있었어. 나오면 꼭 들어봐요. This album was fun. Take listen right when it comes out.

BABY: Hi, I hope you're doing well. I'm excited for your new album. You're an amazing artist who deserves the world. Also, I can't wait to see you in Sacramento <3. Thank you for touring.

Question: Which song is your favorite out of all the songs you've released?

I miss you 💚

BYG: 2 이후라면 이번 앨범이 될 것 같아요. If it's after 2, I think it'll be this album.

BABY: Hi!!! What song are you excited to perform on your tour?

BYG: 새 앨범 모든 노래를 부를 예정이야. I'm going to sing all the songs from my new album.

BABY: Hello greetings from Mexico. There is a small possibility of having a concert of yours this year in Latin America.

BYG: Movimiento는 라틴 아메리카 투어를 위해 작업한 곡 입니다. Movimiento is a song I worked on for Latin America.

BABY: hiii, i'm really curious about what's your favorite moment while you're producing a new song or overall a new ep/album? i love you and i'm really excited bc '3' :)

BYG: 발매 직전! Right before the release!

BABY: OHMYGOOOOOD?????? HELLO????

BYG:

BABY: Hi Yongguk! Love you loads! How has making music and composing melodies changed since writing and composing for a group to being solo? Would you say it's harder?

BYG: 그룹보다 혼자 부르는 곡을 만드는 게 더 쉽네요. 생각보다 그룹 음악은 오랜 시간 그 노래를 부를 친구들을 위해 고민해야 할 시간이 필요하니까. It's easier to make songs I sing alone than with a group. I need to worry about the songs that my friends will sing for a long time.

BABY: Can you recommend a “new ramen“ to try? (Not shin) 😄

BYG: 진 Jin

BABY: There is EP 2, and now EP 3. Where is EP 1?

Is there anything to keep you motivated to work & be productive?

BYG: 1은 제 자신을 의미합니다 1 means myself

BABY: Hello Yongguk! I hope you are having a good day! Since you are Starting a new tour soon! I had some questions that i would love to ask you from last tour if its possible!

1- When you were in Lisbon, what did you liked the most? Would you go back if it was possible? 2- What is the most memorable memory of the "Colors of Bang" Tour?

BYG: 포르투갈 와인은 특별하다. 그리고 너희들 정말 열정적이었어. 다시 만나고 싶네요. Portuguese wine is special. And you all were very passionate. I want to meet you again.

BABY: Hi Yongguk! Thank you for doing this AMA! My question for you is:

Do you have any regrets in your career? What would you change if you could start all over again?

I've been a fan of you and B.A.P since debut! Stay healthy and happy! Love you lots! 💚

BYG: 지금까지 해온 모든일들은 내 자신을 위한 특별한 순간들이였어요. 절대 후회하지 않아요. Everything I've done has been a special moment for myself. I never regret it.

BABY: Will come to Canada? Please, please come to Toronto!!!!!

BYG: 내 계획 중에 캐나다도 다시 방문해야 할 곳이에요. Canada is one of the places I need to plan to visit again.

BABY: i have such a strong memory of the day “no mercy” came out & watching the MV at university. i also went straight from my college graduation to go see B.A.P in concert😂 thank you for bringing me so many great memories over the years! i hope you’re doing well🙂

is there any song that when you listen, reminds you of a specific time in your life - good or bad?

BYG: 요즘 봄이 오니까 Carnival 앨범 생각 많이 나네요 These days with spring coming, I think about our album Carnival a lot

BABY: 이번 앨범이 내 최애앨범 될 것 같음…😍 I think this album will be my favorite...😍

BYG: 음악적으로 나도 그런 것 같아. Musically speaking, I would agree.

BABY: Hi king💚👑~~ As a Tunisian🇹🇳 Baby, I want to ask if you consider adding "North Africa" to your world tour list in the future! And yes love you and good luck for "3" I can't wait for it 🥹💚🔥

BYG: 모로코는 내 촬영지 후보 중 하나였어. 공연으로 북아프리카는 꼭 방문해보고 싶네요. Morocco was one of the candidates for a shooting site. I really want to visit North Africa for a performance.

BABY: I remember you once asked us if we prefer "The old BANG YONGGUK" or "Today's BANG YONGGUK". Does this have something to do with your comeback? Maybe a change of your music style ? What was your inspiration this time?

BYG: 내가 싫어하던 것들을 이번 앨범에 다 해본 것 같아. I think for this album I tried out everything I used to dislike.

BABY: Hi Yongguk! I’ve been a fan for quite a few years now, I hope everything is well with you and I wish you luck on your tour 🫶🏻

My question is, what is one song that is on repeat for you right now?

BYG: 새 앨범 노래들인데 가사가 잘 안 외워지네. 가사를 내가 쓰더라도 그건 다른 문제네요. When it's songs from a new album, the lyrics won't get in [my head] well. If I write the lyrics myself, it's a different matter.

BABY: How do you decide who to feature in your songs?

BYG: 그들의 음악을 오랫동안 듣고 어울리는 새 곡을 만들기 위해 노력하는 것 같아요. I think I listen to their music for a long time and try to make a song that fits them.

BABY: How did you feel when you were filming for NUMB? I'm afraid of heights. Seeing you near the edge of the cliff scared me 😅 I think NUMB will be my favorite ❤️

BYG: 그곳은 numb라는 노래를 위한 최적의 장소였어. That place was the best location for the song numb.

BABY: How many songs from BYG III album will you be singing for the tour?

BYG: 모두 All of them

#240329 #yongguk #event #interview #b.a.p

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plurpaws · 5 months ago

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I've been listening to ur most recent albums a lot lately and they've been getting me through some tough moments. I love ur work, thank u for being pawesome. I don't have anything specific to ask you, but if u have anything u've been wanting to say feel free to use this ask as an excuse to share lol. either way I hope u have a great day/evening/morning

thank you!! I'm really glad my stuff has helped you. I Will use this as an excuse to share my feelings about it :D

Music has always been sort of an outlet for various emotions of mine. People are often only familiar with Gynx because it's happy and upbeat and has stupid titles and a lot of silly meme samples, which grabs peoples attention - it's like my outlet for this sort of manic(?) happiness I feel a lot of the time. but on the other hand there is Evenghost which is like where my negative emotions go to die. there is also this sort of bittersweetness- especially with the story being told, and the tone of the music. Evenghost has existed since 2016 but when I started to become depressed 2 years later is when I started pouring real emotions into it. so, my point is , my music has also gotten me through some incredibly tough parts of life. Each Evenghost album does have it's own story, but there is also another story being told which is about me and my struggles .

Whether people listen to gynx or evenghost , it always makes me happy to hear that my music *helps* people. what an incredible thing to have done!!!!! I think music saved my life a couple of times too, so it fills me with joy to know I can do the same for other people

#asks

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bigreputation92592 · 1 month ago

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Have You Ever Imagine life altering moment that takes away your voice, your mobility and everything you once knew yet sparks a fire inside you to fight back? That’s my story and you've been the soundtrack to every step of my life.

Kelley Sagiv

3530 North 55th Avenue

Hollywood, Florida 33021

My sister Lily's phone number: 917-603-5335

[email protected]

Dear Ms. Taylor Alison Swift and Taylor Swift’s Management Team,

Subject: A Symphony of Strength and Gratitude

@taylorswift I hope this letter finds you well, Taylor. My name is Kelley Sagiv, and I’m writing to express my profound admiration for you. For years, your music has been my sanctuary, guiding me through life’s highs and lows. You’ve been the soundtrack to my most challenging moments, and today, I want to share a piece of my story with you. @taylornation

When I was ten years old, my family and I embarked on a road trip from Brooklyn, NY, to Florida to celebrate Passover with our extended family. It was meant to be a time of joy and reunion. However, on Sunday, April 13, 2003, everything changed. As we were driving through South Carolina, a tire blew out, causing our car to spin out of control and roll over multiple times. I, along with my father, sister Lily, twin sister Ashley, and our two dogs, was ejected from the car. That day, I suffered a brainstem injury that left me quadriplegic with paralyzed vocal cords.

In the aftermath, life became an unimaginable battle. But through it all, your music has been a constant companion, offering solace when I needed it most. I’ve often found a piece of myself in your songs, and I’m forever grateful for that.

One of the most meaningful moments in my relationship with your music comes from my bond with my sister Lily. Together, we’ve shared laughter, tears, and healing, and your songs have been woven into the fabric of our lives. We’ve even reimagined some of your lyrics to reflect our unique journey. For instance, in “You Belong With Me” from Fearless, we playfully adapted the line to “You Belong With Me” She wears high heels, I wear sneakers, She’s Cheer Captain, and I’m in a wheelchair. “It’s a playful twist. We also frequently create videos where we recite the bridges of your songs, finding therapeutic comfort in your music.

One song that deeply resonates with me is “Clean” from the 1989 album. While the song speaks about recovery from addiction, for me, it reflects my struggle as a quadriplegic with vocal cord paralysis. I relate to the line, “The water filled my lungs; I screamed so loud, but no one heard a thing.” It perfectly captures the frustration of being trapped in a body that can’t always express what I’m feeling. Yet, like in the song, I’m always striving to feel “clean” again—to regain my voice, my strength, and my sense of self.

In 2016, I was hospitalized with pneumonia, and your music once again became my refuge. My sister Lily would sit with me and play your songs, including “Clean,” to lift my spirits. We even created our own version of the lyrics to reflect my battle in the hospital:

“The water filled my lungs; I screamed so loud, but no one heard a thing… Medicine drips, now I can finally breathe. “Your music provided a sense of calm and healing when I needed it most.

There’s something I’ve always wished for: that we could be friends in real life. I imagine us telling each other everything, sharing our thoughts and experiences without holding back. I want to learn from you—not just about music or life, but about how to be a better person. Most importantly, I want to learn how to love myself again, the way your music has helped me begin to do.

There are also times when your song “Anti-Hero” speaks directly to my deepest insecurities. “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me”—those words have echoed in my mind as I’ve grappled with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and fear of never being enough. Most of my life, I've been embarrassed about my appearance, and sometimes I feel like everyone around me is "gorgeous on the inside and outside." While I'm like the ugly duckling of the wicked west, who has no regard for her own appearance because she believes she’s too worthless, unattractive, useless, and fat to everyone around her, according to her, she does not believe she is worthy as a person and will never find true love. The more I look around, the more I find myself feeling jealous of what other people are doing in the world where I am not able to do. When I see people doing everything, they want without depending on anyone, I become emotional, teary-eyed, and depressed. I believe in my heart that they live a better life than I do. They do not need to rely on anyone for assistance, as I do. When I am among other people, sometimes I feel like saying, "Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby." "And I'm a monster on the hill." Mentioned in the song, “Anti- Hero” by Taylor Swift from her “Midnights” album. But again, your music reminds me that I’m not alone in feeling this way. It’s comforting to know that even someone as strong and accomplished as you can relate to such vulnerability.

I faced another health challenge when I was hospitalized for sepsis and pneumonia, just weeks before your Eras Tour at MetLife Stadium. I was on a ventilator, fighting to breathe, and once again, your music played on repeat, providing a steady rhythm in moments of struggle. My sister Lily even made posters to put on my hospital wall that said, “Shake it off, shake it off!” to keep my spirits up.

On May 6th, I was discharged from the hospital, but I had to stay in Florida to recover. I was heartbroken when I couldn’t attend the Eras Tour at MetLife Stadium. However, my spirits were lifted when you announced additional shows in Miami on October 18, 19, and 20. I was filled with immense joy and excitement, but when I tried to purchase tickets, I encountered numerous challenges. I had trouble entering the queue and, when I finally did, the tickets were all sold out. I was devastated.

I understand that being a verified fan doesn’t guarantee tickets, but what made it especially difficult was the lack of ADA-accessible tickets offered by Ticketmaster. It was deeply disheartening to discover that there were no accessible seats available. After much difficulty, I managed to buy a few tickets from resellers at an extremely high price, just to be able to attend your Eras Tour in Miami on October 20, 2024.

I would be so grateful and feel like the luckiest person in the world if you were to pick me to receive the hat giveaway during your performance of “22.” It would be a moment I’d cherish forever.

My Swiftie journey began with “Love Story,” and being a Swiftie has always been dear to my heart. With each passing day, my admiration for you only grows stronger. Your music has been a steadfast companion, a testament to the transformative power of art. Thank you, Taylor, for being a constant source of strength, hope, and inspiration in my life.

Since the age of ten, after my accident, I’ve had to learn how to mask the pain I carry every day. I’ve perfected the art of smiling through the agony, because I didn’t want the world to see just how shattered I felt inside. Your song “I Can Do It with a Broken Heart” resonates with me on such a profound level. The line, “'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit,” is something I’ve had to live every single day. I’ve been forced to be strong, to put on a brave face when all I wanted to do was scream and cry. The truth is, it’s exhausting to fake being okay when inside you feel like you’re falling apart.

But your music gives me the strength to push forward. “I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks, ‘cause I can do it with a broken hea \rt.” Those words capture the relentless fight I’ve been in for years. Even when my heart feels like it’s in pieces, I’ve kept moving forward. There are moments when the weight of everything feels unbearable, but I’ve had to keep going because that’s what survival looks like. Your music has been my lifeline through it all. @taylornation

The raw honesty in your lyrics makes me feel seen, understood. I can relate so deeply to the idea of being broken, yet still fighting, still finding the strength to show up and face the world. And it’s through your music that I’ve found the courage to embrace my vulnerability, to let go of the shame in feeling broken, and instead, see the power in continuing to move forward. You’ve taught me that there’s strength in the struggle, and that even with a broken heart, I can rise above it all.

Lastly, I’ve tried writing a song about my story, but I’ve struggled to find the right lyrics or melody. If you ever have the chance, I would love your help in bringing this song to life. You have such an incredible talent for turning emotions into beautiful art, and it would mean the world to me to share in that creative process with you. @taylorswift

With all my love and gratitude,

Kelley Sagiv

3530 North 55th Avenue

Hollywood, Florida 33021

My sister Lily's phone number: 917-603-5335

My email address: [email protected]

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