#the yaoi i promised myself at 14

[lily-alphonse]

Do you have any fandoms that you want to write for someday but haven’t? Or just a fandom you’re quietly into? ~

I'm amazed you guys like me yammering but I will never stop as long as the asks keep coming lmao. This is such a good question thank you my sweet (I will get to your ship asks asap I promise)

I am fairly nomadic when it comes to fandoms actually, if I want to write for one I do so pretty much right away. That's how Ive managed to rack up 14 fandoms in 8 months (on AO3).

That being said, I do have unposted WiPs that belong to fandoms I haven't yet written for.

ATLA: I still really want to write that Earth King fic. If it was a simple smut I would have done it already but alas the idea has become complicated (ie: long)

Pixar Cars: CARS FIC MY BELOVED IM CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR MY CARS FIC lol ever since I started my current longfic Ive wanted to write a Doc x Lightning human AU longfic but I can only allow myself one longfic at a time or I get overwhelmed

Mario: Donkario smut. Lol. I know no one cares about it but me, but I will do it eventually (ESPECIALLY because one of my favorite Donkario bookmarks got deleted??!?!!?! Yall dont delete your fics I beg 😭)

Finding Nemo: (Yeah more Pixar but I imagine the fandoms are pretty separate idk) Another human AU where I pair the sexy old mentor with the young guy (age gap yaoi my beloved) But it's also a gang AU!

The Road to El Dorado: I thought about this one recently, I don't actually have any plan whatsoever but MY GOD do I NEED to write for this movie. It is literally so primed for shipping every which way it's insane. Why is everyone so hot? Why is this movie so incredibly bisexual?

Literally all of these are smuts which is great because my account is now way more full of T-rated fics than I ever intended lol. Pretty much just me going back through my childhood favorites and sexualizing everything. That's what becoming an adult is right? Idk no one's taught me.

Thanks again for the ask! ♥️♥️ If anyone has questions about any of these my asks are open

[amoirsetpacis]

NAME / ALIAS: roo AGE: 28 [ 29 this year ] PRONOUNS: they/them TIMEZONE: kst [ 13-14 hours in the future from the master list depending on daylight savings ] WHERE ARE YOU FROM?: [ deep sigh ] kentucky CHARACTERS IN THE GROUP: vash the stampede ( this guy ) and soon to be bravern from bang brave bang bravern! A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF:

hello i am the little critter you hear jittering about in your walls and i like trigun very much. please let me talk to you about trigun i promise im so normal about it.

ive been rping on tumblr since i was uhhhh 14-ish, so literally half of my life at this point, jesus christ. before that i was rping over yahoo instant messenger and skype and ff.net forums. i was in [redacted] before isola, and ive specifically been rping vash on and off in both groups. i live in korea which is why im typically not active at the same time as most folks unless i decide to waste company time, which, lol. i teach little kids and i love them but also the boss makes a dollar i make a dime so i write yaoi on company time

i like viddy games and reading, so if im not writing im usually doing either one of those things. i like horror movies even though im a huge baby and im unfortunately turning into my father in the way that i unironically also like westerns now. i cant play any sports but i'll go a little bit crazy about college basketball. i prefer savory foods like soups but when my sweet tooth rears its head i'll easily make myself sick. i like coffee and aesthetic cafes and fashion, but ive been kinda lazy on that last one for a while now. im getting married [ ah???????????????!!!!!!!?????????? ] in the fall, which is really fucking weird

you can find me in the group discord or on my twitter @jiycnq

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

4. 8. 6. 9. (tee hee)

alternatively, 14. 1. 2.

I know who you are and I hope you're feeling clever. Because you are <3

Alright, let's see.

For the ask meme here

4. Pairing that makes no sense to you?

You're coming out of the gate swinging, huh.

This is a really difficult question, because usually I can at least see where people come from. And even when I don't, I also love myself some crack ships.

Nothing really comes to mind immediately. I guess I've seen Vermouth/Akai that doesn't make too much sense to me?

8. Fandom you're a part of that's the most obscure?

There's Kyou Kara Maou (Demon King From Today!) that I love dearly. It does have an Ao3 tag though, so I guess it's not that obscure?

Hmmmm. I guess I like Ten Dance (a ballroom dancing yaoi manga) for its loving depiction of the ballroom dancing scene and the fun dynamic between the characters. That's pretty niche, let's go with that.

6. Favourite Headcanon?

I'm very fond of the Rei-as-an-orphan-in-foster-care headcanon, even though word of god kind of opposes it. It would just explain a lot of why he is the way he is.

And because picking just one is hard, have another favourite of mine: AkAm, but in particular Akai, don't have many scars. Every injury sustained is one they cannot really afford (makes them weaker, takes time to recover, etc etc.), and so mission planning would be very important. I think they're simply too capable to have many scars at all. (Makes those few they do have that much more important). Rei probably does have a few more than Akai, because he's more exposed to the frontlines and keeps throwing himself into danger, while Akai keeps his distance. Being an archer sniper and all.

9. Fandom you're a part of that's the most well-known?

I would count the number of fics on Ao3 as a metric, but I'm pretty confident I don't need to in order to figure out it's One Piece (by a landslide).

DCMK is also massive, but I don't think it could hold a candle to OP.

.

This is fun, so I'll also do the other ones.

.

14. Fandom you keep returning to?

The fandom cycle is a strange and incomprehensible thing, but usually once something has touched my heart, I'll always return sooner or later. (Unless I age out of a fandom - I'm not a teen anymore, and it is somewhat awkward reading about them, so I don't.)

Best example for this is probably One Piece as well; I've known it since I was about 6-8 years old, and I always come back to it eventually. It's just that good. (Though I mostly return to the series and barely read fanworks, these days.)

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

Depends how one defines being a part of fandom, I think.

The first fandom I can remember reading fanfic of was Yu-Gi-Oh, though odds are One Piece or OHSHC are my actual firsts.

The first fandom I owned merch of was One Piece.

The first fandom I wrote fanfic for was One Piece as well (a terrible Christmas gift fic for a friend who nevertheless enjoyed it; but I promised myself I would never again write fanfic. And now look where you got me almost a decade later, anonymous asker who I shall not name).

The first fandom I made fanart for was Disco Elysium.

2. Most recent fandom you joined?

I guess the most recent one would be Ghost Trick.

Before that, does the AkAm subfandom count? Because it doesn't really have a lot to do with the rest of the DCMK fandom.

And before that, the last one that really held me in a grasp was Disco Elysium.

.

That was fun, thank you for asking, mysterious not-stranger <3

[jukebox-head]

more problematic fave ship from high school

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Aug 2021 Wk 2 

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 

Ongoing Series - Thai 

This was the week of visitors from the past: The Yearbook got Mean & Prem, and Love Area got Jeff. Always nice to se familiar faces. 

Golden Blood Ep 8 fin - cute ending to a series that was a whole lot softer than we had a right to expect (also higher heat), plus some light punching. So many tropes: pinky promise, ground lie, hair dry, kitchen romance, boyfriend claiming x2, boop, back hug with a striped shirt combo. (full review here) RECOMMENDED! 

Love Area Ep 3 - (no subs) if this is a love triangle, I am now entirely in the 2nd leads camp (the cute pre-med across the hall) I loathe a slovenly character. Although I love a good guy uke who still knows how to protect himself and say no. Meanwhile Jeff Satur showed up looking very suave. Hooray! I think this show is good but dialogue is getting too complex for me to follow without subs. (Although I did catch that the play within a play is using “ter” which always makes me happy.) 

The Yearbook Ep 5 - nothing is changing my mind that this is ITSAY meets Fault is in Our Stars. At least we finally know why they’re so devoted to one another. Plus we got the trope of passing the familial obligation of care, been a while since I’ve seen that one. And yes I did tear up. I’ve explained before: self = BIG FAT SAP. 

Top Secret Together Ep 14 - (no subs) lots of EakPhob to start, my least favorite story arc, plus I have terrible second lead syndrome for the cutie younger seme. But then a ton of my two being THE CUTEST BOYFRIENDS EVAH. Look at them communicating and talking about their feelings! Yeah! Nothing from the other couples. Definitely getting Gen Y unevenness from this one. 

Don’t Say No Ep 2 - I’m starting to enjoy it for the delightful shitshow it isn’t (although still kinda is). We got us an out pansexual slut character and a hilarious scene with a prostate wand. So I’m all in and disposed to enjoy myself. Honestly, with a pansexual and a prostate wand, who wouldn’t be?  “Hilarious encounters with pansexuals & prostate wands” is the subtitle of my tell-all autobiography. Just FYI. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Light On Me (Korea) Ep 13-14 - TaeKyung & ShinWoo = most terrifyingly awkward and cringe-inducing first date ever? I think so. Despite this, the frenetic love triangle persists. How will this resolve in only two eps? Also sassy TaeKyung is the BEST TaeKyung. 

Given (Japan) Ep 4 - it’s still quite good and moving along a pace. I’m so glad we’re getting quality old school live action yaoi from Japan. Makes me nostalgic. 

Gossip

CLEARS THROAT

Hear ye hear ye! Taiwan has a new BL movie coming called Light (from GagaooLala). It is a dark high heat movie about an undercover cop and a sex worker with themes of ownership and abuse. My Drama Listing has a good full description. Trailer & Teaser (watch both, they different) 

But guess what?

Behold THE PROPHECY!

It appears to be set in a SUIT SHOP! 

@heretherebedork​ basically willed this thing into existence. 

Meanwhile, I unearthed very old news that Korea’s Color Rush (my favorite BL this year, seriously, nothing will beat this one for me) is, apparently, actually getting a second season. Which means that stinger at the end of Viki’s movie version is for realz. 

(I actually don’t think we need more but I’m disposed to be pleased and confident in Korea.) 

GL-based drama Couple of Mirrors is supposed to start airing. Read that “based” carefully, this looks to be censored GL. So not a bromance a... baimance? Babemance? humm erm ooo oh oh!

Romanchick! 

eh, I don’t know. But you get my point. 

In Case You Missed It

My Lascivious Boss one of my favorite Vietnamese BLs of this year put the full drama with eng subs up on their YouTube channel as a movie. So if you like to consume that way, you now can. I think the subs are worse and some of the heat has been cut out, so you’re better off with the original. (Full review here.) 

Chinese actor Zhang Zhehan (AKA ZZH) of Word of Honor embroiled in a HUGE scandal which has resulted in him being censored, cancelled, and dropped by fans & brands. You know me, my policy is to censor the censors, so if you want the deets I would start with the link I provided, and also educate yourself about the long involved history between Japan and China. Best of luck. 

Grey Rainbow (Thai BL from 2016) is popping back up on Daily Motion. Please don’t watch this. It will break you. It’s HIStory 3 level trauma. You’ve been warned. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moments? 

What you want more than @here & self basically willing a Taiwanese BL into existence for the Honor of Grayskull? I think that’s pretty fucking special sparkle unicorn shit right there. 

Fine, well here’s other good stuff: 

[ilovedinosaurs]

Introduction

ayo i’m Dino! 

welcome welcome! nice to meet y’all!

a little bit about myself,,

i am a 14 year old with an obsession with dinosaurs …i have a mind of a 4 year old HELP

am also a Reki kinnie!!!! 

i might be a Reki simp too 👉👈 B-BUT I AM NOT A SIMP OK

some of my hobbies include --art, writing, skateboarding, playing otome games

interests --volleyball, voice acting, cosplaying, traveling

top favorite animes 

SK8 the Infinity

Karneval

Bungou Stray Dogs

The Millionaire Detective Balance: Unlimited

The Promised Neverland

Haikyuu!!

Durarara!! 

Jujutsu Kaisen

--main games i play

Genshin Impact

Minecraft

and a few romance games --Obey Me!, The Arcana 

--just wanna mention a few of my triggers/mostly things that make me very uncomfortable

Yaoi/BL, please avoid any topics/avoid sending pictures of yaoi/bl, it makes me very uncomfortable and has caused me anxiety attacks in the past

Gore/Horror

i know JJK has some horror in it, but it’s not it’s main focus, or so I believe. they don’t overdo it imo, so it’s okay. but i can get frightened easily, so i stay away from it most of the time

now!! comfort characters of mine!!

Reki, Miya, Langa - SK8 the Infinity

Dazai, Atsushi - Bungou Stray Dogs

Zhongli, Aether, Dainsleif - Genshin Impact

Yogi - Karneval

all characters from Obey Me!

Julian, Asra - The Arcana

Haru - The Millionaire Detective Balance: Unlimited

Rin - Blue Exorcist

Shizuo - Durarara!!

cutting it short because uhhh, I have many more!

--here are some other small details!

another name you can call me is Cay! 

i’m straight

i’m trying to learn Japanese

honestly, both a cat and dog person, even if i’ve never had a dog, i love them both, i love all animals + my dream pets would be an Australian Shepherd, a cat that looks like Morgana from Persona 5, a parrotlet, Mammon

one really weird thing is that i actually enjoy forehead flicks-- like,, help??? Reki can flick my forehead anytime and i’d tell him thank you

sun Pisces, moon Libra please Libra, balance out my emotional I BEG OF U

i’m a chaotic feral child with two braincells left 

uh,, think that’s it? cough not really

bye byeee!

--Reki kinnie

[kokoro-no-kizuna]

Mobile Friendly Rules (Read Before Interacting)

THESE ARE JUST A FEW GENERAL THINGS I FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THEM.

I know they seem long but some of it is also just information I thought was important for you to know before interacting with me.  And a lot of it is generic stuff too but please still read anyway. 

- ★ First and most important thing is that the mun has a very serious cannibalism trigger, which includes ANY form of people being eaten (including animals or monsters or any such other creatures eating people). (Excluding vampires, as that doesn’t typically involve the eating of human flesh, and rather simply blood itself. Zombies however, are included). As such, please tag all SNK or Hannibal related posts, especially with such things in them, but even the ones without such scenes in them, due to the fact that these two shows/fandoms are the reason I learned I have this trigger, and so the entire thing now can cause my trigger due to association, and memory connection to it. Also I ask that you tag any other shows/fandoms/gifs with such things in them as well. Please and thank you very much. My blacklisted tags are: SNK, Shingeki No Kyojin, Attack On Titan, AoT, tokyo ghoul, tg, Hannibal, Cannibalism, tw: cannibalism, twd, the walking dead, walking dead, zombies, and hunting trophies.  Any form of these (capitalization does not matter, however spaces do) will be caught by my blacklist, so I would appreciate it if you’d use one of these for those posts. Also suggestions for other possible blacklist tags that I may have forgotten are much appreciated. Also as an added note, I will not follow, RP with, or associate in ANY WAY, any blogs that have to do with my triggers. (Multi-muse blogs can sometimes be okay, this more applies to blogs that post SPECIFICALLY about the fandoms that trigger me). If you are a multi-muse blog that has characters from these fandoms, all I ask is that you be sure to tag them with the fandom they are from, with one of the tags in my list, and tag any of the triggers. We’ll be perfectly fine if you do!

- Secondly, I am not here just to to roleplay smut. I WILL do so if I feel like it and if the roleplay goes that direction after building up the relationship, however I am not here for that. I do prefer however if our smut RPs are placed under a read more, if at all possible. I will not RP smut with underage muns however. Underage muses, depending on the age (and if our muses are close to the same age, eg: Both our muses are 16, cuz teenagers do things, as much as we might dislike the fact they do, and no matter how much we wish they wouldn’t) I may still write it. It’s very dependent on the particular muses. I will not RP smut with a muse that is 18 or over, and a muse that is underage. I will not RP smut with muses that are legitimate children (14 and under). However despite my willingness to write it, it doesn’t mean that it will happen if the other mun is not comfortable with. I don’t force it. I don’t need it. I just basically accept that that kind of stuff happens, and it’s a very realistic thing. My nsfw tag is #n;sfw so you are aware, because the original nsfw tag doesn’t work as well anymore.

- ★ I am autistic. I know I don’t seem like it at first, and sometimes it’s hard to tell, however I am, and I also have ADHD, and it does affect the way my mind works with things. Sometimes having things done certain ways makes all the difference between if I can do something or if I can’t. If it sounds like I want to do something, but seem to struggle with figuring out how, please feel free to make suggestions, or start the thing yourself! It’s actually REALLY helpful when I get stuck. My being autistic can also affect who I can roleplay with, and how I roleplay, and how I think. Please keep this in mind, and try to be understanding. If something bothers you, or you don’t understand something, just ask me! I’ll do my best to explain, or fix it.

- Though it may not always seem like it, I am VERY shy and awkward. I’m actually legitimately terrified of new people, and trying to talk to people I haven’t spoken to before, or very much yet, almost makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. If you want to RP with me, please message me! Chances are I’d LOVE to chat with you and RP with you, I’m just too terrified to talk to you.

- I struggle with chronic depression, and sometimes I may disappear for a while if I have a spell that gets particularly bad. Please be patient with me, as I will never forget about you and will always return. Also since it needs to be said, I also have EXTREME, doctor diagnosed anxiety. Sometimes it gets the better of me. Same with depression. Sometimes I have bad days. So I vent, and get frustrated with things. Little things bother me a lot more than they would on a normal day. If you can’t handle that or are going to be a hypocrite about it then please just leave right now. I don’t need your negativity. I have enough unwanted of that in my head as it is, which I combat and fight against every day.

- I am a multiship/multiverse blog, however my muses will likely be very selective with shipping for the time being however I am still happy to discuss ships and will happily consider them. Also a note, that I will ship with multiples of the same character, if the mun of those blogs wishes to ship with me. I find each relationship is different, seeing as each mun plays their character a little differently.

- I will do crossovers sometimes with fandoms I am familiar with. Crossovers always depend on my mood and how well my muse can interact with a character, as well as how well I know the series the character is from. Please forgive me if I choose not to roleplay a specific crossover. I still like you, I promise. If you’re unsure if I know your fandom, just ask! I do know of a lot of fandoms, so there’s a good chance I might.

- I ship based on chemistry. Sometimes I can develop a ship quickly, especially if I know the other muse’s personality well, and know they will mesh well with mine. Other times, a ship takes time for me to develop. Please be understanding and patient with me on this.

- Do NOT under any circumstances, force a ship on me. I am usually quite good at expressing ships I am okay with, and it will usually show in my writing. If you are unsure if I ship something or not, feel free to send me a message and ask me. Most of my characters have their own way of showing interest in someone, however most are usually pretty clear in expressing it in some way. Sending memes for interaction is fine for anyone whether we have interacted or not, and I will usually reply to those, however do not force a ship on me outside of that. If one develops between our characters, then fine. However that is a MUTUAL thing, so I do not take kindly to someone just deciding something is a thing. If you want to try to build one between our characters, then go ahead. Just please show me respect. That is the biggest and most important thing with me, is respect.

- I will write anything from 1 liners to multi-paragraphs when I RP. I usually stick to 1 or two shortish paragraphs, and that tends to fluctuate or shrink depending on how much information is needed to describe a scene. If we start out with a shorter paragraph, and I make a reply a fair bit longer, I will likely revert back to the shorter paragraph again within 1 or 2 replies. However you are welcome to write however you wish, just as long as you can give me something to go on. (A one liner in response to a 10 line paragraph for example, I will struggle to reply to.)

- I do not tolerate anon hate of any kind. Not towards myself, nor towards others. I will respond to it in a way that will make the sender feel rather like an idiot, and I am very smart and capable of doing so, so please be advised of that, if you intend to do so.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. Anything triggering will be tagged. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18.

- Apologies, but I absolutely WILL NOT RP with people who RP in first person. It is something I cannot stand and I just will not do it.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, since romantic ships I can do, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry. I am well aware it’s dumb that my brain rebels to it but it doesn’t change the fact that it does.)

- I am slightly fickle about things I can reply to. I try very hard to reply to everything, however one thing I am not good at, is sudden changes in roleplays. As much as I hate to admit it, and try to pretend it isn’t true, and even though I am quite good at managing it most times, I am autistic, (high functioning form of autism) and that is one of the few issues I struggle with the most. If you sense a roleplay is changing directions, please hint at it to me in the tags or something the reply before it does, since even that small little hint can be enough to help keep me from having to drop an RP. Even if you are unsure if it will or not, letting me know that you think it MIGHT possibly happen (since we don’t control our characters) is a huge help to me. This particular issue is the main reason that 95% of my dropped threads end up dropped. And I always feel terrible when it happens, so please help me to get better at this.

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE, or my depression kicks up and I lose all motivation. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them:

- I WILL NOT ship my muses with other OCs, unless they are extremely well developed. This is simply because unless I personally can form some form of an an emotional connection/understanding to/of a character, my own muse will be unable to do so as well.

- I am also very picky with RPing with other OCs, because of the same reason stated above. I will however roleplay with them sometimes, and do not in any way dislike them. I rather love OCs, and the diversity and color they bring to fandoms, and I actually have lots of OCs of my own for different fandoms, I just cannot always connect to them, and in those cases, I will not be able to roleplay with them. I apologize. HOWEVER. If possible, I will happily do platonic RPs with OCs that my muses happen to click with.The types of characters/OCs I am usually unable to roleplay with, are the following, which includes a list of reasons why.

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a few fandomless OCs myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though! I believe this issue is connected to my being autistic, since certain things my brain just refuses to understand unless it is worded a certain way or done a certain way.

- OCs from fandoms I am unfamiliar with. If I don’t know what sort of world/background your character comes from, it leaves me guessing too much and confused. I have attempted to roleplay with them anyway in the past and it just doesn’t work.

- ★ Self insert OCs. Really. Please just no. I cannot stand self inserts above all else other than Shipper OCs. Admittedly, there are a rare few good ones out there. (And those are fine). However those tend to be very few and far between, and 98% of them tend to fall into the not so good category to put it nicely, and I just.. I can’t do it. There is nothing else to say to this except just NO. I apologize for this, however I just can’t. Also, this applies to FULLY self inserts. This does not apply to characters that simply share some traits with you, as often we roleplay a character because we can connect to them somehow.

- Canon Genderbends (there are exceptions sometimes with these). This subject is a touchy one, since my mind is very rigid unfortunately when it comes to how I view them. This might stem from my own personal gender struggle (as I am trans and FtM), however genderbends have always been something I have a lot of issues with, and so 98% of the time, I will not RP with them because I have to fight my mind to reply. Temporary genderswap M!A’s however, when handled properly, are no issue for me, and in such cases I will happily roleplay with them.

- OCs with very little backstory and information, or with a confusing one, or even with none at all. In essence, poorly made OCs. I need info to RP with you. At least seriously. So sorry. I need to be able to understand your character at least a little, since I don’t do good with “lets play a guessing game” or “I literally have no idea what I’m doing” or “what the hell is going on” sort of RPs, and I have never been good at them, and so I need clear, concise information on your character.

- Shipper OCs. The type of character I hate more than any other. If you made your OC just so you could ship with a bunch of people and that is the only purpose for their existence, do not even talk to me, or approach my character. Don’t even try. I literally cannot stand these types, and they fall right up there with my hatred of self inserts. So sorry. But just no. This doesn’t mean I ship shame if your muse happens to end up in lots of ships. That’s fine. It happens. I know the feeling when muses just click with lots of other muses. Sometimes it’s like that. But if their ONLY purpose for existing, is just so you can ship with endless characters, please go away right now.

- Canonically unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

Those are all the ones I can think of right now. I am very sorry to anyone who has one of these and wants to RP with me, however I simply cannot do it, personally. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there though who would love to RP with you even though I cannot, and just because I will not RP with you doesn’t mean I dislike you or your character. I’d be happy to still be friends with you, I just won’t be able to RP with you. I’m someone who needs to be able to connect to the character I am roleplaying with on at least SOME level, for my character to be able to connect to them as well, so if I am unable to do that then I am unable to roleplay with them. (This can include as well, the WAY someone roleplays, since if there is no emotion or thought or description in replies, it gives me nothing to go on and connect to, and leaves me unable to respond, even if I WANT to RP with you.)

★ I hate to have to do this, however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox or IM me with “Catshark”.  I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[azurowle]

It seems so odd to me that when I tell trans-exclusionary radical feminists that I’m transitioning, I get told I’m taking the “easy way out.”

I put an age range in my profile that I am on the higher end on.  I started medication and therapy for my depression when I was in about eighth grade. I would have been maybe 14-15 at the time.

That’s a little more than half my life I’ve spent on and off of ineffectual therapies, cycling through 3-4 psychiatrists and two psychologists, and pretty much all of the SSRI medications (I was never given any MAOIs, though I was once given Adderall and am currently on a mood stabilizer). I’ve had good periods throughout that time.  Most of the time I’ve just been okay at best. Then there are the times where I tried to starve myself to lose weight because exercise seemed like such a chore and I couldn’t stop eating. Or when I would cut myself whenever I was reprimanded for a mistake. Or drink to distance myself from my body.

Since I accepted I was trans, I’ve felt more balanced.  And since I started T, for the first time I actually have the drive and energy to exercise, eat right, think clearly, and want to live to a ripe old age. (For reference: I’ve seldom thought of  myself living past my 30′s, maybe 40′s at most. I did sometimes have fantasies of living to a ripe old age. That’s all they were to me.)

In spite of all this, there are radfems who pity me and trans men/transmasc folks like me. They call us delusional. They say we took the “easy way out.” We’re called lab rats. We’re told we’ve read too much yaoi as a kid (spoiler alert, doesn’t work that way). We’re told we’re trying to use gay men as sex objects (which, ironically enough, I haven’t desperately craved a significant other since coming to terms with being a trans man who likes men).

What solutions do they have? Buddhism? Finding a hobby? Meditation? Exercise (which is not always an option for some of us)? Spending 15 more years in therapy and thousands of dollars to make little to no progress, on the vague promise that if we work hard and want it enough, we’ll love ourselves?

Spare me. If you’re a cis or trans person who’s found that gender-critical, trans-exclusionary radical feminism has worked for you, great. Do what you have to do.

But as someone who turned to gender critical and trans exclusionary radical feminists and detransitioners for help, will not be silent in the face of people who ignored me, mocked me, and provided no solutions to a gender-free world aside from “let’s blame the evil transcult,” I have to speak out about it.

[randomchick29]

50 Facts About Me (THANK YOU FOR 50 FOLLOWS!)

So... as promised in this post, I’m doing 50 facts about me because 50?! people followed me and my crazy masa obsessed cat mom ass. Thanks for enjoying my messed up commentary/rambles! Great, now I’m starting to sound like a youtuber that just wants money lmao sorry. Enough mushy stuff, and onto ze list!

Possible trigger warning: I’ll try to keep this as positive as I can, but there may be some things that can trigger some people (including but not limited to mental health, abuse/bullying, eating disorders etc.) If you are not comfortable with those topics, don’t read this.

1. My real name is Robin (middle name starts with Y and my last name starts with G)

2. I live in AZ

3. I LOVE FOOD. Part of the reason why I love masa and luka tbh... But seriously, food is great.

4. My fav foods are crab, ham, and burgers. See why I can’t become vegetarian 😂

5. I HATE onions with a passion.

6. My fav animals are owls, cats, hedgehogs, snakes, and whale sharks.

7. I have two dogs and used to have a cat (extremely long story short: My cat is in the “care” of an abusive psycho that isn’t allowed near me so I can’t see her ever again :/ but my sisters can) I still love Lucky (my cat) to death. She’s a sweet kitty (most of the time) and I miss her so much ❤️

8. My dogs are named Tucker and Bella. They’re both miniature schnauzers and they’re crazy. Tucker is a sweetheart, but he DOESNT. STOP. BARKING. He has a bit of a jealousy issue. When Bella gets attention, he starts barking and/or pushes her away from the human 😂 He hates when his people hug. He will jump on them and bark and growl. He also has stuffed animals that he LOVES. He uses them as pillows and carries them around. Bella is a lazy piggy ass. All she does is sleep and eat (like me haha). Half the time she’s too lazy to get up and go outside, and only responds when there’s food (once again, just like me 😅) They absolutely love each other though. Tucker licks her and grooms her and Bella follows him around and it’s just the cutest thing.

9. My lucky number is 9 because my birthday is 9/29 and my adoption day is 9/9 (see what I did there hehe get it? fact 9 is about my lucky number 9? no? okay...)

10. I’m adopted from an orphanage in (Eastern?) China

11. I have 2 sisters. They’re both in college but everyone who sees us on the street thinks I’m the oldest because I’m taller and curvier. One is 21 (but everyone thinks she’s like 16) and the other is 19 (people think she’s like 10 😂) No, none of us are blood related.

12. I’m 5’ nothing...

13. I’ve always been heavy for my height and age. I was and still am judged because of how much I eat and weigh. Because of this, I had an eating disorder in 4th grade and have always hated myself and envied my sisters for their tiny asian bodies.

14. I used to do tennis, dance, and swimming. I haven’t done any sports since then.

15. I can play 3 instruments, and tried many others. I played piano for 10 years, violin for 2, and French horn for 6 months.

16. I am EXTREMELY double jointed in my fingers

17. I have a fused tooth

18. My fingers bend back at the first knuckle way farther than most people’s

19. My hair is REALLY long and grows really fast. It goes to around my hip/tailbone area as of now.

20. My shoe size is a 7

21. My fav colors are red and green

22. My first fictional crush was Link. I was 8 at the time. We’re still going strong 7 years later.

23. Only a few months ago did someone top (wink wonk) Link: MASAAAA

24. My first otome was Shall We Date? Love Tangle after I saw an ad for it on trivia crack. My first route was Ryan. My fav is Nolan.

25. I still love MM, but I don’t have the time OR space on my phone to play (SORRY ZENNY)

26. I got in huge trouble when I was 10 coz I made a bunch of accounts that my mom didn’t approve of. I made an email, twitter, pottermore, quizilla (I miss that site smh), etc. And I did it MULTIPLE times. After she took the computer from me, she found out my DS had internet too. I didn’t have my DS for a long time. She would give it back after a while, and ID GO ONTO THE INTERNET AND YOUTUBE EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I got my DS back on Christmas in 7th grade coz I got games for it and she trusted me enough (and I had a phone by then so yay trust...?)

27. ...the twitter accounts still exist... I’ve looked back at them and I wanna kms holy crap it was bad. Lesson: 10 year olds shouldn’t be on twitter.

28. I love Harry Potter and The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon series). My fav HP book is Order of the Phoenix, and my fav IC book is Eldest.

29. My fav Zelda is a tie between Skyward Sword and Wind Waker

30. My fav Pokémon are Garchomp, Shaymin, and Breloom

31. We used to have so many games and systems. We had like 100-200 games, 2 gamecubes, 3 GBA’s, 4 DS’, 2 wii’s, and prob more 😂 We got only $150 from gamestop.

32. My fav youtubers are Chuggaaconroy, Rachel & Jun, and Glam & Gore.

33. I learned about sex through fanfiction (specifically, The Lemon of Zelda (pretty sure it’s been deleted tho coz I can’t find it))😂 I never got The Talk.

34. I may have looked at yaoi at school before...

35. I’m pansexual

36. Biggest turnoffs are arrogance, possessiveness, and bad hygiene.

37. Biggest turn ons are good chesticles and sense of humor.

38. I’ve had ONE bf and I dumped him after a day coz he wouldn’t stop calling me and I was scared of my mom. The thing is, we both liked each other for a LONG time and to my friend I was like “Yo ask who he likes” coz he was acting all sus and SHE TOLD HIM I TOLD HER TO ASK HIM and he’s like YA I LIKE ROBIN and I’m like WTF IS WRONG W YOU to my friend. Then he told me in class and it was really cute and I accepted. Then broke up w him OVER TEXT not even 24 hours later 😂 Dumb 7th grade ass

39. I’ve always been bullied because of how awkward and weird and annoying I am

40. My fav anime is Ouran

41. The only thing keeping me alive in freshman year (this past school year) was otome. Specifically Masa. My mind: What would Masa do without his kitten? Who would he chase through Azuchi? Who would be the pretty pillow/futon when he’s drunk? Damn, I love this man agh

42. I can reach my back much better than most people. I don’t need a back scratcher because I can reach my whole back.

43. I’m obsessed with makeup and nails, and used to love music, reading, and art.

44. My real baes are Huang Jing Xiang (fellow Chinese SPOTTED!) and Kato Kazuki

45. I sweat A LOT. I have to have a STRONG fan coz ac isn’t enough to keep me from sweating too much. And I live in AZ, so it’s even worse...

46. I still sleep with my baby blanket. I put it over my pillow coz it’s so soft (and I don’t have any other blankets)

47. My fav movie is Heathers (WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW)

48. I have HORRIBLE eyesight but I don’t like wearing my glasses coz the arms give me a headache and I don’t like them period

49. I love bad puns too much (I would make one here, but I don’t wanna be PUNished) 😂

50. I’ve gotten caught drawing... and writing... some NSFW things at bad times...

AAAAND DAS IT! Sorry it was more negative than I thought it would be, but I’m a really boring person with a boring life filled with drama and... That makes no sense does it. A boring life doesn’t have drama... I’m dumb. Should’ve stopped at DASSIT. Ok, I’m actually stopping lmao baiii 😊

[azuregold]

＿( ᐛ 」∠)＿ *slides directly into the "all questions" button*

Ehehe HEY! :D

ask me about anime…

   1. My first anime

That’s kind of a tricky question, because I know I watched some (edited dubs of) anime when I was really little without having a clue that it was Japanese (like this one), but I have a hard time counting those as my first real anime. I guess Pokemon? Though I think I still didn’t really know what anime was until I started watching stuff like Yu Yu Hakusho, Inuyasha, and Rurouni Kenshin on Cartoon Network.

   2. My favorite anime

This is such a hard question. But I’ll stick with my usual answer of Princess Tutu. There are series I like more overall, but most of them were based on manga and changed/removed stuff and/or didn’t animate the whole story, which makes it harder to wholeheartedly love them as anime. BnHA is pretty promising so far, though.

   3. The first anime character I was obsessed with

Um…hmm. Probably Kenshin? I think?

   4. My anime OTP

There are pairings I like a lot, but not really one I can point to and say “Yes, that’s THE OTP for me”. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

   5. An anime I can’t stand

Hmm…no specific titles are coming to mind, because how can I say I can’t stand it if I’ve never seen it? And I’m pretty good at picking things I at least think are okay (and when I don’t, I usually drop them before it gets further than “Eh, this isn’t my thing”). But in general, harem/ecchi anime. I’ll roll my eyes and put up with fanservice if the rest of the series is interesting, but when it feels like the only point is boobs and panty shots and how many girls will be fawning over the MC, I stay far away.

   6. An anime I want to watch

Hmm…I think I’ll go with Hunter × Hunter for this one. With all the streams available these days, it’s so much easier to try anything I’m interested in that I don’t have nearly as many “I really want to see this someday!” series as I used to. I’ve deliberately held off on HxH though, because I don’t want to be left hanging or forget about it if it goes on hiatus again. I’ll definitely get to it someday, though.

   7. An anime I never finished

Ahaha…most of them, especially in the past. And not even because I didn’t like them! Either I got distracted and just never came back to them (this happened a lot while waiting for the next DVD release), or I loved them so much I didn’t want them to be over so I could never bring myself to see the ending.

   8. The most recent anime I finished

Death Parade! A bit darker/creepier in places than I normally go for, but I really, really enjoyed it. I may or may not have reblogged this meme just because of this question >.>;

   9. An anime I never thought of watching but fell in love with

I’m going to say Tokyo Ghoul for this one, even though I went for the manga first rather than the anime when I finally gave it a try and am really disappointed with how the anime was handled. Please give us a FMA Brotherhood-style reboot? Please? ;-; I avoided it for a long time because it seemed too dark and gorey for me especially with the whole…eating people thing. I’m so glad I did eventually check it out, though. It’s an amazing series and it really helped keep me going last year. I haven’t enjoyed it quite as much lately as I used to, but I think it’ll always be a bit special to me.

   10. My favorite genre of Anime

Supernatural. 8DDD Especially if it takes place in the modern world.

   11. Shonen or Shojo

Both. I think I watch more shōnen overall,  but I’ve seen a lot of good series in both and I wouldn’t want to give up either.

   12. My favorite anime character of all time

Can’t pick just one. Nope. Impossible. I can cut it down to five at best. (A year ago I might have gone with Kaneki, but these days they’re all tied again X’D)

   13. An anime that I introduced to a friend

I…can’t really pick one? I mean, any friend I could possibly introduce to anime gets shown as many series as I think I can get away with without annoying them, so there isn’t really one…oh wait! There was one coworker at my old job; she knew nothing about anime, but she loved dark/horror/thriller movies. I gave her the first DVD of Death Note for Christmas one year. We didn’t talk about it all that much, so I’m not completely sure what she thought of it, but she at least liked it enough to borrow the rest of the series from me, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

   14. The anime that I am currently watching

Right now I’m keeping up with at least nine series weekly. I watch other things while I wait for new episodes, but I just finished a couple series (one with my mom, one on my own) and haven’t decided what to watch next.

   15. An anime that never gets old no matter how many times I watch it

I don’t actually rewatch things that often, especially these days. The closest I usually come is reading the manga myself, then watching the anime with my mom (going by that definition, I’ve enjoyed the hell out of Boku no Hero Academia and Ao no Exorcist even knowing what’s going to happen). I’m going to be rewatching Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works soon, so we’ll see how that goes. I’d get tired of anything if I rewatched it too often, though.X’D

   16. If I own any anime merchandise

Oh boy do I. (°∀°) I collect figures, playing cards, and keychains more than anything else right now (especially figures), but I have a ton of plushies and charms and more wallscrolls than I could possibly put up in my room, plus a bunch of other stuff (mugs and glasses, a fleece throw, a couple pocketwatches, a lighter, a beach set, puzzles, magnets…I pick up a lot of different stuff at cons X’D).

   17. Yaoi or Yuri

Neither, if we’re talking about them as genres/tropes. I’ve tried to watch a couple “typical” yaoi series, and I couldn’t get farther than an episode or two. If we’re just talking two men or two women in a relationship, then I still couldn’t choose one over the other because it’s about the individual characters and their relationship for me, not what gender they are. (That said, more of my favorite characters are guys, so I usually wind up with more m/m pairings I’m interested in.)

   18. If I’ve ever been to an anime convention

Yes! (≧∇≦)/ I’ve gone to my local con every year since 2005 (wow, I feel old), and there’s another one I’ve been to a couple times as well.

   19. Who is my favorite anime voice actor

Suwabe Junichi. (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*) I love his voice so much (；ヮ；) (and it doesn’t hurt that he’s done some of my favorite characters, haha). I’ve checked out series I might otherwise have passed over just because he was in them. ^^; I have a shortlist of super favorite VAs but he’s at the top.

For English VAs, probably Chris Patton or Vic Mignogna.

   20. Sub or Dub?

Sub, though I don’t hate dubs and even prefer them for a few series. Usually I get attached to whichever cast I hear first. In the past, that was more often dubs on TV and DVD; these days I watch a lot of streams/simulcasts so I mostly see subs (I also enjoy trying to pick out words in the Japanese dialogue; sometimes I can understand a line without the subs and I’m very proud of myself X’D).

   21. If I could have any anime character’s hair style, who would it be

Why can’t I think of anything for this, I know I’ve seen some I really loved. ;OTL Uh…something long (at least waist length, if not knee) and thick, probably pulled away from the face in a ponytail or braid. Which isn’t too far from my RL hair aside from the “thick” part. ^^;

   22. Manga or Anime?

I can never properly answer this question, haha. Story-wise, I usually prefer whichever came first. Most of the time, that means manga. I also love the art for a lot of manga. But having color and motion and sound really adds to the experience for me. So…both. X'DD

   25. If any of my friends or family watches anime

My mom watches almost everything that I do.

   26. If I listen to any anime music

It’s pretty much all I listen to. X'DD Not because I don’t like other music; I just wouldn’t even know where to start with it. I tend to be more a fan of individual songs than bands/singers, so I just go about my life and when I hear a song I like I add it to my list. And I get more exposure to anime than anything else, so…¯\_(ツ)_/¯

   27. If I’m following any ongoing anime series

Yep! I’m watching nine this season. X’D Some more enthusiastically than others.

Not going to list names unless someone really wants to know. ^^;

   28. If I’ve ever been to an anime club

Yes, a friend of a friend tried to start one in our local library. I went to most of the meetings and a good chunk of the anime we watched were from DVDs I brought. X’D We just watched them, though; there wasn’t a whole lot of discussion or “club-like” atmosphere, and it kind of stopped happening after a while.

   29. If I’ve ever cried over an anime

Yes, a few times.

   30. What my last anime wallpaper was

This one (really big image, sorry ^^; ).

[cameoamalthea]

More on Sin

I don’t think that sexuality is a ‘sin’ but I can’t deny that lust is certainly listed as a Deadly sin. 

A bit about my own religious up bringing and thoughts.

I was baptized Catholic and spent my child hood Church hopping with my mother who enjoyed the welcome of new choices and being saved and brought in so much that she left the church to join another right afterwards. I also attended community church on Wednesdays and for event s with my best friend. The community church was a black church and they had a school bus that went around the different projects picking up poor kids and bringing them into the church to sing and have fun community events. I was probably the only white girl there, but I never felt out of place, all children were welcome. 

My mother, for her part, fluctuated between being very Christian and very pagan and just very drunk or high and doing her best to be devil himself. She’d shame me sometimes ‘honor thy mother and father’, mixing in religious notions with her standard emotional abuse, but often her emotional abuse was just calling me a cunt and telling me I was bad, and how sorry I’d be if she died and how grateful I should be she wasn’t selling me since I was old enough (I was 12 - 14 during this for reference).

She also tried to get me into partying and having sex when she got heavily into drugs. She wasn’t going to be a mother anymore, and I think she’d have liked me to be her friend and companion and partner in crime. She offered me drugs. Left me alone with teenage boys who were around my age, but far less innocent than me. She wanted me to get into sex (maybe she thought I’d offer to turn tricks for her then). 

At the time I got more into being Catholic. I prayed the Rosary. When I woke up in the middle of the night, paralyzed with fear that I was alone and my that someone could be on top of me and touching me, I prayed for Jesus and for Mary to stand by my bed. I recited the prayers as if I had a Rosary then and took to holding one for comfort, alongside an X-men action figure. I liked Rogue, I related to Rogue.

I related to Rogue because I knew what it was like to be a freak and to be untouchable. In middle school, in the south, someone spread a rumor that I was a lesbian. I’d always been bullied. I was poor, and just enough on the autistic spectrum to not understand how to be normal or make friends or to understand when I was being bullied but not enough to be offered any protection or instruction on how to survive. With middle school came being called a lesbian and no one wanting to be near me. When the school made a holocaust museum they had visitors take a badges when you went into the maze of card board box exhibits. A crowd of kids forced me to wear a pink triangle as a joke.

In High School, in another state after I was sent to live with an aunt and uncle at 14,  I got very into vocally accepting gay people, consuming gay media and in college I got into gay activism long before coming out as bi myself. 

When I came to live with my guardians I wanted to go to Church, Catholic church, but none of them went to church except my uncle’s mother and Grammy was Southern Baptist. I went off and on with her for a few years, but in 2004 rejected the church when they said we should pray for George Bush to win a second term. 

I spent free time reading Anne Rice and writing about my own vampires and thinking about gay vampires, about bi vampires. My wish fulfillment character was a beautiful teenage boy who became a vampire and dated whoever he wanted and did whatever he wanted and it was sexy because boy’s couldn’t be sluts, and if you were all ready a vampire lesser sins probably didn’t matter.

In Middle School we’d had sex ed that consisted of telling us if we ever had sex with anyone we’d be worthless and talking about how great it would be to save ourselves as a gift for our husband’s on our wedding night. “I saved this for you’.

I had idea what to do about my period blood that soaked through everything or the smell when I was wearing pads as long as possible rather than ask my mother to buy me anything or how to clean the stains. They taught nothing of this, but they taught me how much my virginity meant and they made it sound so good to be pure.

With nothing in my life safe or clean or under control and the constant threats both from my mother and the cartel she owed money too when she somehow ‘lost’ the money she was supposed to give them for dealing’ the idea that even I had worth and could have this honor to protect and cherish, and that this valuable thing couldn’t be stolen sounded amazing. 

I didn’t judge others, but was personally conservative. I would be a virgin until my wedding night. I wouldn’t do anything ‘bad’ or ‘sinful’. I thought judging gay people was wrong, and I joined the United Church of Christ because they were accepting, but I held myself to a high standard that saw my virginity as something precious to guard.

It wasn’t hard either. I didn’t want sex. I’d later come to understand that I’m sex repulsed. On my wedding night I came to understand that my insides were all torn up and I’d need surgery to fix that, and I was vindicated that when I said I couldn’t wear tampons because they’d get caught and tangled my aunt should have believed me. That the pain was real and it was a problem. 

Puzzle pieces fit together, evidence pointing towards sexual abuse when I was a kid. I didn’t want to be shaped by that. I wanted to have and enjoy sex. I wanted to be with men and women. I’d promised to be abstinent until marriage, they made me sign a contract in middle school, but I didn’t promise I’d be monogamous afterwards, that wasn’t in the contract.

I could understand why adultery was wrong. That’s breaking a promise and lying. But I didn’t see anything wrong in doing something if everyone concerned is informed and agreed. I wanted to try sex to see if maybe there was a circumstance where I wouldn’t feel so ‘wrong’ about it. 

Still sometimes the guilt came. The thought that I should repent and confess and try to be good and pure again. 

On paper I believed in sexual liberation. That gay people should have the right to be gay. That women should be able to do what they want, just as men did, without the double standard.

 I’d always hated the double standard as a teen where so much fan service was for the male-gaze but it didn’t exist for women, hardly at all anyway, except on shows meant for gay men.

I loved Queer as Folk in High School and I wished I could be that and I wished I could be Jack Harkness on Doctor Who. I wished for sexuality free from shame or guilt, to not care what others thought. Then I found anime and yaoi and things drawn for the female gaze and for the first time I felt empowered in my own sexuality. Ioved Ouran High School Host Club, that fantasy of boys performing for the girls and it being ok for the girls to publicly adore them or even like forbidden things. The twins were my favorites.

And in High School this didn’t feel like sin, it was just watching or reading or thinking. I’m sure if I were a teen now I’d be assured it was bad, that I was fetishizing gay men and supporting fetishizing men, which is homophobic (even though Ouran is about boys choosing to perform for girls, the way in real life society expects girls to perform for boys). I’m glad I’m older now, and that I had that then.

And I’m glad that I reject the notion that sexual or romantic desire is in and of itself evil and sinful, at least consciously. But still there’s a part of me that wonders how I can say I’m a Christian and seek to distinguish between lust and sexuality.

I suppose I’ll look to other sins. Drunkenness is decried in the Bible, but Jesus provided wine for a wedding and drank it, Gluttony is a sin but Jesus provided a feast for the wedding too. So perhaps Lust is like that. Bad in excess, when it leads to actions that harm others. 

[heatherchandler]

1-100. all of them.

1: is there a boy/girl in your life? sadly there is not :/

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Lmao no she can eat shit fuck her and her yaoi hands

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” cats?

4: what’s something you really want right now? To not have to go to school tomorrow man

5: are you afraid of falling in love? I’m afraid of losing after I fall in love I’m little and fragile

6: do you like the beach? In theory? yes. In reality? Not on my gay life.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? No and that sounds uncomfortable as hell

8: what’s the background on your cell? It’s from Heathers it’s the “Candy Store” number

9: name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine, my friend Skye’s, my parents’, my friend Rowynn’s

10: do you like your phone? It’s fine yeah

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? Buddy I didn’t think I would still be alive right now and I didn’t plan to have this much anxiety so I’m gonna go with a hard no

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Her name is Kailey! We volunteered at a middle school dodgeball tournament together! Eighth graders take dodgeball way too seriously I got hit in the jaw with a fly ball and boy. Buddy. Also what a bunch of fucking cheaters but 

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? I think a rottweiler because it would be easier to groom

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional I guess I haven’t really been in a lot of physical pain like ever so

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Last time I went to an art museum I got “shh”ed for humming quietly in an empty gallery and I’m still a little salty about it so I’m gonna say zoo 

16: are you tired? I have depression I’m always tired

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? Three years now 

18: are they a relative? No we don’t even talk anymore I yelled at him for being racist in 10th grade and we haven’t ever really talked since

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? I don’t have any exes but I probably wouldn’t 

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? These virgin lips have never met another’s 

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Bitch? No? I’m 18 years old I have no money, no formal education, no job. I haven’t even had the chance to be a hoe yet. Please.

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Again. Null and Void

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Just one. It was my grandma’s but somebody told me the other day that it looked gay and I feel like she rolled over in her grave.

24: is there a certain quote you live by? No I forget everything buddy I’m especially bad at quotes.

25: what’s on your mind? Himalayan rock salt lamps

26: do you have any tattoos? Nah

27: what is your favorite color? Purple right now 

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Bitch idk

29: who are you texting? My friends? 

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? pbbht

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Probably yeah because I feel like a lot of bad things will happen all the time I was probably right a few times just because of how often I feel that way

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yeah he’s like my brother

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? Nah I’m kind of ugly

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? No not that I remember they’re kind of plain.

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Binch

36: were you single on valentines day? Forever and always 

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Bruh

38: what do your friends call you? Gay. Liss-Biss

39: has anyone upset you in the last week? I get upset over the tiniest things so we’re gonna go with a hard yes.

40: have you ever cried over a text? I cry over everything I’m soft and sensitive.

41: where’s your last bruise located? The last one I remember was on the palm of my hand like the little hand butt

42: what is it from? I went roller skating and fell on my ass a lot and just this one time I went down and tried to catch myself, and all of my weight went onto my hands. I got a really bad bruise on one hand and my bracelet dug into my other hand and like burst some vessels it was wild never take me skating

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? I think last week

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? Lmao my mom

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? Nah

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No I usually just braid it and hope for the best

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? No! Fuck! My head is gigantic I would look like a fucking egg! Anyway I love my hair

48: do you make supper for your family? Sometimes whenever I’m feeling it or we have chicken defrosted because I’m always a slut for pan seared chicken.

49: does your bedroom have a door? Yeah thank god

50: top 3 web-pages? idk netflix, here, and idk where else 

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? Yes bitch me

52: does anything on your body hurt? My back! Always!

53: are goodbyes hard for you? The last hard goodbye I had was when my best friend moved to Florida and he stopped by my house to say goodbye and that was like two/three years ago now so generally no

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Mtn. Dew

55: how is your hair? She’s fine thanks for asking. I have her wrapped in a towel she’s napping

56: what do you usually do first in the morning? Go back to sleep

57: do you think two people can last forever? If they try.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single? I was eight.

59: green or purple grapes? I’ve always been a red grape hoe

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? The next time somebody lets me I’m such a big hugger

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? The Everglades, lying face down in the swamp, not dead, just resting.

62: when will be the next time you text someone? Probably tomorrow I don’t usually text people late at night I’m small and tired

63: where will you be 5 hours from now? In bed, hopefully still asleep

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. Sleeping because it’s Sunday and I don’t go to church and I can sleep in

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? I can’t really. I don’t think I ever really get crushes that last long enough for me to remember them. 

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? There’s a few

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? I hugged my parents

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? “I hope none of my gay songs play because my dad is right in the gameroom and if he comes to check on me he’ll Know”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Lmao yes.

70: how many windows are open on your computer? Just one. I like to let him rest. 

71: how many fingers do you have? Ten

72: what is your ringtone? It’s one o the default iPhone tones i forget what it’s called

73: how old will you be in 5 months? 18 still

74: where is your mum right now? Downstairs on the couch probably sleeping.

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? He moved.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Nope. 

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Yeah for the most part. I’ve got some new ones though

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? It was probably like. Ryan Fitzpatrick or someone like him idfk I was young and dumb and I thought I was straight.

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? My sister’s godparent’s son is named Michael they sometimes call him Mike.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Does being a baby in my mother’s arms count because if it doesn’t then no

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? Like. 0.5

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Nope

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? Nah 

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? KATIE 

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? I think so because I’m really. Not. Especially if it was hard drugs. 

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? Nothing eventful really happens at the movies for me, I avoid kids movies to Lessen the Risk.

87: who was your last received call from? My mom

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? What the fuck? what the fuck. 

89: what is something you wish you had more of? Money and admirers

90: have you ever trusted someone too much? Yeah 

91: do you sleep with your window open? No my dad will yell at me for “letting all the cold air out”

92: do you get along with girls? Yes?? 

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I don’t think so no

94: does sex mean love? Like for me? Idk it can be an act of love but really it can mean nothing too it’s not really black and white

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Yes because I’ll be locked in a room alone how the fuck do I get out

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? BOI

97: did you sleep alone this week? Every week

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? My mom, my cat, my friends, idk I guess art when my teacher doesn’t assign it. Making people feel nice! I’m such a huge proponent of nice anons I send so many and like. refresh the blogs of people I send them to so that I know they feel good. 

99: do you believe in love at first sight? Me? A hopeless romantic? An idealist? Yes. 

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? I think it was my dad over something that probably didn’t require a pinky promise idk we do it a lot.