#the wtf are you even doin this for

[professorbussywinkle]

My unpopular opinion as a trans person, is if you are trans...

...and you feel this need to be constantly propped up by external validation from other people around you all the time...

...and if the second that external validation is not there you feel like your world is going up in flames and you'll never recover from it cuz you felt your identity was invalidated somehow...

...then I'm sorry, you don't have a strong sense of conviction in your own identity, and trust, imma be so real with you rn, the people who already dont wanna respect you, who are already looking to cut someone down like that cuz they miserable, can easily sense that in you and will undoubtedly exploit it if you let them cuz it makes them feel powerful...don't give them that satisfaction, a mf like that clearly don't deserve it

And I don't think misgendering is this all caps, red-alert, human rights violation that some trans people make it out to be

I am the sole purveyor holding all acute insights about myself and my identity, other people outside of me can not and never will have that acute and valuable insight, so how other people perceive me, or how they choose to adresss me, regardless of my own preferences, frankly...does not concern me in the slightest like...why would I let some mf tell me about myself as if I somehow already didn't know myself more intimately than they ever could?? How could their minor surface level perceptions hold a greater weight than my own deep and measured insight about myself??

Y'all, shit from a mf like that will never hold that weight to me, because I know exactly what I am, and I value it highly and hold my knowledge of myself in the highest of regards, that's my power, and that's my peace and it comes from a divine source...

...and I don't blame y'all for this, but some of y'all don't have that conviction, and thats why y'all be getting your assholes twisted in knots from being misgendered and invalidated, and honestly if you don't know exactly what and who you are...

...Then thats also totally fucking fine too!

I applaud anyone who has the nerve to trudge inside themselves as intimately as trans people do, in order to live a happier and more fulfilling life, and in the aim of actualizing yourself to your highest capacity

But y'all...I guarantee you, if you aren't sure, and you straight out the gate let people know you ain't figure it out all the way yet, anyone who actually gives enough of a fuck about you to try and exert repeated conscious effort to respect you in the ways you're asking to, is always gonna be worth having in your corner, and actually they will respect you more and appreciate your humility and grace for working with them, even if they don't get it right 100% of the time.

Oh and also...choosing to get pissed off, defensive, or lashing out, and forcing people to feel like they gotta walk on eggshells around you for the fear they're gonna accidentally unintentionally trigger you in some way is actually a form of emotional abuse, and maybe you shouldn't do that, especially to the ones that give enough of a damn to even try being there for you in that type of way in the first place, hmm??

[thelittleprinceconfirmed]

I'm obsessed with her. Also pfp

[healingheartdogs]

Saw a post earlier of someone being like "see how my puppy isn't bothering me while I eat and is minding his own business playing in the other room? That's because in this house animals aren't ever allowed to have people food from the moment they come home with me so they never even learn to want it." The post and most of the comments on it were very high and mighty "I'm a better owner than other people, I'm the boss of my dog, I don't allow my dog to offend me by showing desire for highly desirable resources" attitude and were very much judging other people for not having the same boundaries and annoyances about dog behaviors around food with their own dogs in their own homes and I just like... absolutely can not relate at all, tbh. There is a type of person who uses phrases like "people food" unironically, thinks that dogs being allowed to have good things that are usually intended for humans is somehow offensive and wrong, gets annoyed by a dog even being allowed to exist in the same room when people are eating, and thinks a dog just looking at them for more than 30 seconds while they have food or hanging out watching them doing stuff is the dog bothering them and being rude, and every time I encounter this type of person it makes me wonder why they even own a dog when they clearly hate natural dog behaviors and are bothered by dogs just wanting to be around people, do things with them, and receive human attention more than once in a blue moon.

When I make breakfast after I wake up and take it to my room to eat Hermes always eagerly follows right behind me because he expects he's going to get something from me. That expectation is almost always correct, and I feel absolutely zero shame about it. Him laying calmly at my feet or next to my chair quietly watching me eat is not "bothering me". He's quite literally not doing anything to be a bother, he's just patiently chilling. If a dog hanging out nearby and calmly watching while people eat bothers you enough to consider that bad nosey behavior that is deserving of you ridiculing other dog owners for allowing it that's uhhh... weird af? At least to me it's weird, sorry not sorry. Like maybe you actually just don't like having dogs around then if they can bother you without even really doing anything? Cuz IDK about y'all but I love my dogs hanging around me and wanting to be close to me and even seeking engagement from me. I love them being excited about being around me and following me around because they know I give them good things. I also like having their attention and eyes on me in general - especially Hermes, as a dog of a breed that is often more environmentally focused than handler focused and whose attention I've had to work for and earn. Looking at me is something that I specifically reward all my dogs for and immediately start to capture during their initial introductions to clicker training because I find it to be beneficial during training sessions (as well as a good way to charge the clicker), so it would be ridiculous and unfair for me to get annoyed by it and discourage it in other scenarios like when I'm eating. In fact, I see Hermes calmly laying down nearby and politely seeking eye contact with me whenever I look his way while I'm eating my breakfast as a sign that he knows how to act to get what he wants because he understands his training well, and that he is putting that training to work by being an attentive calm good boy and waiting patiently for me to respect my end of the deal that I have taught him and give him his reward for the behaviors he's offering that I have repeatedly asked him for in the past.

Also like... if he is in the way somehow while people are eating or if we're eating something he can't have and I don't want him near us just in case someone drops something (even though he has an extremely solid leave it, still better safe than sorry) then I just tell him to go to his bed??? and then share a little bite of my food with him to reward him for going to lay on his bed if it's safe or give him something else like a couple of small dog treats or a pork chew on his bed if my food isn't dog safe. After that he will stay on his bed and keep being a calm patient boy because he's learned that staying on his bed after being told to go to it means he will continue to occasionally get more treats or small pieces of my dog safe food tossed to him for the duration of his time there until he is released. Often times because he's working so hard to be calm and patient to earn a few bites of my food he just ends up falling asleep next to me or on his bed, which is definitely the opposite of being bothersome. I like to thank him for that patience and calmness by gently waking him up to share the last bite of my food or give him a little treat jackpot and some praise before releasing him.

Maybe I'm a "bad" trainer (lol) but I enjoy spoiling my dogs by sharing some of my dog safe "people food" with them in moderation, and you can definitely share "people food" with dogs without making them annoying or untrustworthy around food. Despite what the person who made that post seems to incorrectly think, simply letting a dog have a taste of "people food" sometimes does not create unwanted bothersome behaviors around food. Rewarding unwanted behaviors that bother you instead of wanted behaviors that don't bother you is what causes that. That's it, that's the sole cause. Like... you could just only share food with them if they're being calm or waiting patiently on their bed or whatever it is you want from them during meal times. Boom, the "bothering" problem is solved and your dog still gets to enjoy a special treat. In fact, my experience as a dog trainer is that the high value and novelty of that special "people food" treat often makes the rewarding of the not-bothering behavior you want from them while you eat much more motivating and effective than giving them one of their regular treats or chews as a reward or distraction, so the settling down not-bothering behavior you want is even more likely to be consistently freely offered up in the future since it is so highly rewarded.

When I've had clients in the past express concerns about causing begging by giving their dogs "people food" or tell me they feel guilty about it because they've been told by people like that poster I saw that it's a bad thing to do in general, this has been my advice to them - not to stop doing the whole sharing thing that makes them and their dog happy, but just to make it more productive for the kind of relationship they want to have with their dog and the behaviors they are wanting to see. It's a simple solution that can turn a meal into a nearly effortless high value training session for teaching settling during household activities and around food, which is something that is a common frustration to achieve for a lot of inexperienced dog owners. If you handle your dogs sometimes being given bits of food scraps as treats this way then everyone wins, especially the people who like to spoil their dogs and share food with them (which is VERY NORMAL TO WANT TO DO BECAUSE WE ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES THAT BONDS THROUGH RESOURCE SHARING) because now those people can turn that desire to spoil their beloved companions into some easy training. Just be sure to consider if ingredients are dog safe or not and be mindful of oversharing and sharing foods with high fat content because maintaining a balanced diet is important for health.

Also that OP apparently doesn't realize this yet based on the wording of their post, but if you have a dog that is at all decently food motivated then just ignoring them while you have food and never sharing is not going to teach them to leave people alone in the presence of food and never try to seek food from anyone. This is especially true if anyone ever accidentally drops something around your dog (it'll happen eventually) and they snag it and self reward because you never actually taught them not to do that, or if anyone else in your house isn't as firm with that boundary or is unable to enforce it consistently and ends up giving them food purposefully or accidentally (as can often happen in households with children or that sometimes invite guests over). "I don't ever share people food with animals in my house starting from day one and I ignore them when food is out so they never learn to even want it to begin with" is not training your dog to leave food or people who are eating food alone. That's doing nothing and hoping that your new puppy or dog doesn't care about the delicious smells of food or people gathering together in the house for food related activities multiple times a day enough that they will quickly get bored and give up on trying to investigate all "people food" related activities for the rest of their lives without you training them, which is an absolutely ridiculous expectation. Just not ever giving a dog any of your food doesn't make it stop smelling like food to them and won't magically make them never be curious about seeing what you have and if they can get some of it. They don't have to be given food by you off your plate to know that it smells interesting or to figure out that seeing you eating it means it might be something they can eat. Having a superiority complex about NOT actually training your new puppy how to act around food and ignoring them as "training" instead is certainly funny, in a "not funny haha, funny weird" kind of way. It's also pretty irresponsible since some foods that humans eat are dangerous to dogs. Instead of just ignoring them when food is around and hoping they'll learn to leave all food that isn't their dog food alone on their own, a responsible owner should actually be actively teaching their dogs to leave food in general alone unless it is offered to them, even when food is left where they can easily get to it.

Anyway, if people could just stop being weird about dogs doing normal dog things and existing in spaces around humans, do some basic research on dog behavior and how dogs learn before getting a dog, actually train their dogs to the minimum level required to make themselves not be regularly upset at their dogs for acting untrained and "bothering" them, and stop developing weird superiority complexes because they get lucky for a while right after bringing home a new dog or puppy and it manages to not cause them any problems or upset them yet... that would be cool.

[rnavka]

honestly it doesnt matter if we been mutuals for like 3 years if you start putting blue-e(idk how its spelled dont care) on my timeline its done youre out of here

[thisisntabackalley]

.

[slimepuparibaba]

Stars and Asters: Chapter Prologue or something

hi welcome to my last attempt at ever making stuff on this shitshow of a genshin au here are some groundrules before we start

Ari's Braindead Notes:

canon divergent. heavily. characters will change. events will change. canon is a blank canvas, and we tore it apart and set it on fire before repurposing it into a pinata and beating the crap out of it to get colorful candy

chilumi is like main focus ok i dont make the rules no i am not changing my mind shut up i love them

theres some weird other interdimensional shenaniganary that i might make into another fucking brainrot shitpost thingamajig but for now just accept that genshin is a simulation, nothing is real, and they are all trapped in a game

did i mention we be canoning the divergent

anywho here's chapter prologue or whatever the fuck im trying to make this as fun as possible ok have fun byeeee

CHAPTER PROLOGUE: THE WORLD IS FUCKED!

[WORDCOUNT: 385] (its the prologue okay cut me slack--)

So, once upon a time, the universe existed. Hear me out here, okay? It. It exists.

There are worlds that are created from pre-existing worlds. Some people call them Simulated Worlds, Bubble Worlds, etc. It honestly just. Doesn't matter what you call them. Just know that these worlds are created as soon as someone creates them.

The initial creator of that world creates the "seed"--this seed has blueprints on the initial version of the world. Major characters, events, locations, et cedera.

From there, the seed grows overtime as it's introduced into the rules of reality. As the seed "sprouts", it grows into a beautiful tree, branching out to create differing worlds. The farther up the tree? The farther away from the original seed it becomes. And when it becomes different enough, that world disconnects from that tree and becomes it's own world seperated from this system.

Each world has two things it's born with. Some have dubbed this a God Program and the World System.

A God Program is basically what it sounds like. Each world needs to have a protector, a parental-like figure to watch over it. They're not allowed to intervene unless the World System allows it to.

Then there's the World System. The World System is like the child, growing and ever-changing, adapting and living it's own life under the protection of the God Program. However, it is vulnerable, and needs to be protected at all costs.

The two work together in tandem to keep the flow of that world safe. Everything there is left to develop on it's own.

Except, there's just... one thing that exists. Something that can disrupt that harmony.

It's said long ago, not long after the universe was created, a tragedy struck, and corruption spread across the world. A struggle for complete control over order and chaos. Thus was born a Seed of MAlice--a SOMA.

When a SOMA comes into contact with a God Program, it will corrupt it. There are only ever two outcomes: the God Program will seek to destroy the world entirely, or will attempt to "recreate" it into the perfect blueprint of the original "Seed" the world stemmed from

This phenomena was the same phenomena that struck one of the Genshin Worlds. The World of Stars and Asters.

Welcome. Let's start the Game.

<masterpost> &lt;next>

[ruiiplume]

So this week in unforgivable fuckery...

[stephaniedola]

i think whats sad about the american healthcare system is that the very existence of it in its current form makes me want to die

like if i have to live like this in order to live at all why even bother?

[celestrials]

I will never ever forget or forgive ppl for asking me if I was ever even a furry when they thought that my bf and I were breaking up. That shit was so fucked bc like???? Lmao like yea haha I totally created a fursona and spent hundreds of dollars in commissions in the last couple of years for pretend! It was all a facade! I was only pretending so my bf could like me more! You got me! Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahshahhahahahah🤪🤪🤪

[yharnamesque]

I'm so glad I finally got the double jump boots in DOOM because honestly my stupid ass has been playing this game like a Destiny hunter since level one I can't help myself

[scarlettcryptid]

gave myself a writing deadline since usually that helps me stay on track but im in Procrastinating Mode™️ so now i"m just looking at sheet music and tabs can i please not do this right now 😭😭😭😭

[thelittleprinceconfirmed]

@biscuits-corner I'm blaming this on you

[sturnioz]

ik bun wouldn’t do this but how would fb chris react if she woke him up with head ??

like I can just image him being rlly like ‘wtf is this girl doing’ but then also it feeling good 🙂‍↕️

please talk to your partners before attempting anything like this. communication is key. consent is important.

you steal a glance at chris, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth as you squint through the morning light that seeps through the curtains of his room. he's sprawled across the bed, his hair a tousled mess, and his lips are slightly parted as he releases quiet, steady breaths.

your eyes flit down to the sheets, noticing a lump beneath and you swallow thickly, your cheeks feeling hot as you struggle to look away. there's a familiar ache between your legs, but you push it to the side as you carefully slip under the covers, gnawing on your lip nervously as you clumsily move to lay on your stomach between his legs.

you're not entirely sure what came over you to do this—or even where the confidence has came from—but your hands are moving to the bulge in his boxers, wrapping your fingers around his cock through the fabric.

you release your bottom lip from your teeth as you hook your fingers into the waistband on his boxers and slowly pulling them down, his cock springing up once it's freed, resting against his stomach and bubbling with pre-cum.

swallowing nervously, your warm mouth wraps around the tip, swirling your tongue around the sensitive head like you've done many times before—using your hand in a gentle stroking motions as you carefully bob your head, just as he likes.

chris' hips twitch, a tired, groggy groan slipping past his lips, and you pause for a moment before resuming again.

you remember a brief conversation you had with bee and kitty, remembering how they openly told you they both woke up nate and matt before with head—how happy the boys were for the rest of the day after receiving such a gift.

you know chris' has been a little stressed lately. with what? you had no idea. but you wanted to give him something nice, to put a smile on his face even if it was just for a few minutes.

you hum, more startled than content, as you feel chris' hips twitch again, his legs moving a little beside your body as you continue bobbing your head—taking more of his cock into your mouth with each pass.

"fu... fuck.." you hear chris rasp, and you flinch a little when the covers are lifted off of your head, the sudden light almost blinding your eyes and you squeeze them shut as they water a little. "bun, what're doin'?"

you do reply to him, but it's probably not the smartest idea giving the explanation with his cock down your throat. it wasn't coherent, he didn't understand a word you said, but that didn't really matter to him—not when you're all spitty and drooly around his cock.

"ho... holy shiiiiit," chris' neck strains as he throws his head back, his fingers tangling in your hair to help guide your movements.

you're a little embarrassed by the wet, slurping sounds you're making, but you are a little proud of yourself for how he's reacting, especially when he lets out a guttural moan as he feels your cheeks hallow around him.

a strangled grunt leaves him as his hips start to move, shallowly thrusting into the warmth of your mouth and you allow him to do as he pleases, keeping in mind what he taught you before about using less teeth. (you scraped him once on accident, and you refuse to ever let it happen again).

"fuck, m'gonna cum," he whispers, licking his lips as he glances down at you with hooded lids, nostrils flaring at he breathes heavily. "y'gonna swallow it f'me, bun?"

divider credits. @issysh3ll

© STURNIOZ

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Can't get over dj Lando in Bali for new years so can I request a smau where he's partying there with reader aka Max's sister? And she's like a dutch influencer so people are kinda like 🤨what they doin doe

My first fic of 2024 🫶 happy new year and enjoy, hoping you don't mind I made Y/n into an ex-junkie for the ✨drama✨, but I've had this idea on my mind for quite some time now, because it's like she's the opposite of her brother. Also I couldn't not make Y/n be friends with a few other drivers too, and also the caption on the last post is 🤌 I loved making this fanfic

y/n_verstappen A last minute decision to spend the end of the year in Bali

view all comments

maxverstappen1 Have fun with your girls, don't get in too much trouble

↳y/n_verstappen Yeah... just me and my girls... me & my girls & I

↳username2 guys I have a feeling she's plotting smth

↳username1 we love to see big brother max being the dad

↳username3 that's cuz Jos did a pretty shitty job

yourfriend1 missed this ❤️ grateful to be ending this year with you @/y/n_verstappen @/yourfriend2

↳y/n_verstappen you don't ever know how grateful I am to be in Bali with my favorite people!

↳yourfriend2 I love you guys 🥹😭

↳username2 SHE SAID PEOPLE I repeat she said PEOPLE instead of GIRLS

landonorris Wow I wonder who took these pics of you, they're very nice

↳y/n_verstappen I hired a professional photographer😼pretty expensive if you ask me, but also worth it

↳maxverstappen1 Please quit flirting with my sister

↳landonorris @/maxverstappen1 I'm flirting with the photographer lmao he's very talented if you didn't notice

charles_leclerc Looking forward to hanging out when you're back ☀

↳y/n_verstappen Charlie I went to Switzerland with you before Xmas 😭 it's been a week

↳charles_leclerc Arthur made me post this comment

↳y/n_verstappen tell him I miss him then 🫶 you? not so much 🖕

↳arthur_leclerc I kiss you too @/y/n_verstappen

↳arthur_leclerc *miss

↳y/n_verstappen phew 😮‍💨 you've almost triggered a particular someone

↳username2 this someone being your brother, right Y/n? RIGHT Y/N?!

↳yourfriend1 sure you can go vroom in circles but can you fight? 🤺

↳yourfriend2 that's not the person you should target this question at and we both know that 👀

↳username2 SOMEONE CRACK THIS CODE PLS 😭

↳username3 i mean, she's definitely hinting at Y/n dating a driver 🤷‍♀️ maybe someone from the current f1 grid even

↳username4 @/username2 @/username3 y'all be jumping into assumptions too quickly

username3 Guys I still can't believe Y/n was with the Leclercs in Switzerland and Alexandra wasn't

↳username4 Shut up, Y/n has been friends with the Leclerc brothers ever since Max and Charles' karting era

↳username3 wtf chill 💀 I'm joking (although I wouldn't complain if she ended up dating Charles or Arthur)

y/n_verstappen Adventures are better together

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landonorris The mask suits you, never take it off ❤️

↳username1 HELP why's he so mean to Max's sister💀

↳y/n_verstappen watch out in Bahrain 2024 🔫 sent a screenshot of your comment to the family groupchat

↳charles_leclerc you sent it to our groupchat with max and carlos

↳y/n_verstappen exactly

↳landonorris excuse me @/y/n_verstappen may I be added to the family groupchat?

↳y/n_verstappen excuse me @/landonorris, are you family?

↳landonorris that's my goal for 2024

username5 Look at Y/n having fun in Bali for her brother's money 😬

↳yourfriend1 more like the secret photographer's money 😇*this comment was deleted*

username3 MISS, DON'T ACT LIKE WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR COMMENT

↳username2 AND DON'T ACT LIKE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

charles_leclerc better than the adventures in Switzerland? 🤔

↳maxverstappen1 cringe

↳carlossainz55 cringe

↳georgerussell63 cringe

↳yourfriend1 cringe

↳yourfriend2 cringe

↳landonorris cringe

↳y/n_verstappen jealous Lando?

↳landonorris wtf 5 other people said cringe and I'm the jealous one?

↳y/n_verstappen well, technically 4 other people since Max is my brother

↳landonorris 4 other people and I'm the jealous one?

↳y/n_verstappen Max is my brother, I only tolerate Carlos, no one likes George and his shirtless pics, and my girls are basically pets

↳yourfriend1 arf!

carlossainz55 I thought you can't swim

↳y/n_verstappen I prefer not to swim, but the selfie was worth it

landonorris I've changed my mind about the mask, it's lovely, where can I get one? 🥰

↳y/n_verstappen wow that was quick, I wonder if @/maxverstappen1 has anything to do with it

↳y/n_verstappen anyway, I got it just down the road on my morning walk

↳landonorris how would I know where that is 🙄

↳y/n_verstappen want me to walk you there? 🙄

↳username2 DOES IT MEAN LANDO IS IN BALI TOO?!

↳username3 @/username2 GIRL THEY MIGHT BE ON VACATION TOGETHER

↳username2 i knew she was plotting something 😭

y/n_verstappen Darling, I fancy you

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username1 WHO IS THAT MAN 🔫 I JUST WANNA TALK

maxverstappen1 Y/n pick up the phone, you can't post and disappear

↳username2 rip to whoever is the mysterious man

↳username3 imagine your brother in law is max verstappen and he hates you before you even meet

↳landonorris ikr, terrible, i could never

↳username3 WTF LANDO

yourfriend1 my fav couple but when will you hard launch?

↳charles_leclerc asking the most important question right there

carlossainz55 I'm tired of knowing who he is and being forced to keep quiet

↳maxverstappen1 what? you found out before me?

↳carlossainz55 in Y/n's defence, the man couldn't keep it a secret

↳username2 alright chat now we know it's someone close to Carlos

↳username1 @/username2 CHARLES?

↳username2 @/username1 no, it can't be him, look a few comments above

↳username3 @/username1 @/username2 I'm being delulu but... Arthur? I'm just manifesting it's him

↳username2 and Charles wouldn't know?

↳username3 well, Max didn't 🤡

↳charles_leclerc don't be shy Carlito tell us

danielricciardo Ki ki ki ra

↳landonorris KI KI AY

↳y/n_verstappen I wanted to say it 😡 why are u so quick??

↳landonorris well, you're trying to compete with an f1 driver, better luck next time

username2 GUYS what if it's LANDO??? Close to Carlos ☑ can vroom circles ☑ possibly also in Bali rn ☑

↳username1 you might have a point plus the caption is Taylor Swift and Lando is a swiftie

↳username5 Is he? I thought it's a British thing to say you have a crush on someone

↳username2 @/username5 well, he's British, so another hint from Y/n I guess

username7 i surely hope her and Lando aren't dating, she's a retired drug addict

↳username1 leave the past in the past, let this girl be happy

arthur_leclerc y/n has a boyfriend y/n has a boyfriend

↳y/n_verstappen don't worry, someday you'll have one too

↳arthur_leclerc let's see if you'll keep this attitude introducing your new bf to Max 😄🖕

y/n_verstappen Als je bitch wil chillen is het geen probleem dan ga ik erheen, ik kom niet alleen want ik heb drank en drugs

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yourfriend1 amazing night!! 💜💜

↳y/n_verstappen we loved the music didn't we 😼

↳landonorris you're welcome 😌

username7 the caption 🥶

↳username2 chill out it's just a song literally!!

↳username3 i can't even remember all the times I've seen Max edited to this song on tiktok lmao

arthur_leclerc You clubbing without me?

↳y/n_verstappen it was a girls night 😇🖕

↳yourfriend2 no it wasn't 🫶

↳yourfriend1 tbh it was, her boyfriend spent more time DJing anyway

username1 why can't they make it official already 🥹

↳username2 I bet Carlos is wondering the same

landonorris I hope you tipped the DJ well for entertaining you half the night

↳y/n_verstappen I guess if you can call entertaining him for the 2nd half of the night in our hotel room a good tip

↳maxverstappen1 WHAT AM I READING

↳charles_leclerc asking myself the same question @/maxverstappen1

↳arthur_leclerc too much information

↳carlossainz55 Does it mean I don't have to keep the secret anymore?

maxverstappen1 Delete this post

↳y/n_verstappen no ❤️

josverstappen7 Gelukkig nieuwjaar maar ik vind deze fotos niet leuk*

↳y/n_verstappen wtf @/maxverstappen1

*happy new year but I don't like these photos

landonorris I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter, she is the best thing that's ever been mine

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y/n_verstappen *not so* careful, but you get a point for Taylor Swift lyrics

↳landonorris I'm literally in love with you

↳y/n_verstappen surely not more than I am in love with you ❤️

↳charles_leclerc cringe

↳arthur_leclerc cringe

↳oscarpiastri cringe

↳logansargeant cringe

↳yourfriend1 shut up all of you

y/n_verstappen btw just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I can't kill you for posting the third pic

↳landonorris pls you'd never

↳y/n_verstappen I still have the screenshot that could make Max crash into you 🔫

carlossainz55 Finally, I was starting to worry

↳username2 WAR IS OVER 😭

oscarpiastri So happy for you guys!

↳landonorris double date when?

maxverstappen1 You're the only person I'd accept as my brother in law

↳landonorris thanks champ xx 🙏

↳username3 HE'S SO SASSY I CANT-

↳charles_leclerc what about @/arthur_leclerc? I thought you liked him, I thought we had plans

↳y/n_verstappen YOU HAD PLANS?

↳arthur_leclerc YOU HAD PLANS?

↳landonorris YOU HAD PLANS?

username5 I'd love to see Y/n and Arthur as a couple, but I'm so happy for her and Lando 😭

↳username3 nahhh Y/n and Arthur totally have besties vibe, siblings even, can't imagine them as a couple

username1 okay guys so do you think they speak dutch or english when they're alone?

↳username3 Do you think Lando can speak dutch well enough?

↳username1 well, I don't know, just wondering, but he's half Belgian

↳username5 I imagine their conversations to be mostly english mixed with dutch and french, very chaotic and people around don't get anything they say

↳yourfriend1 I can confirm this, it's very frustrating for a person who knows only english

↳username1 does Y/n know french?

↳y/n_verstappen I was forced to learn both french AND italian hanging out with Charles and Arthur, and with Lando I speak mostly english, but I try to mix some dutch into it, however no french here because I'm traumatized <3

↳username1 aaaaaa we love a multilingual queen 🫶

↳username3 so now Lando learns dutch for both his mother and his girlfriend 🥹

↳y/n_verstappen he has a lot to learn, but at least his flemish accent is kinda cute!!

[oh-no-its-bird]

saw your kaguya/sakumo and raise you toneri otsutsuki being in love with kakashi instead of Hinata if only because i think it'd be really, really funny for the team to have to deal with the fact that a sorta god wants their sensei. and also for Hinata. like you go to rescue your sister only for her kidnapper to demand your hokages hand in marriage for her eyes and return. what the fuck do you do.

does this make sense? absolutely not. do i think it'd be funny anyway? absolutely yes.

I have NO idea who this man is but I am absolutely on board, 100000%, I love Kakashi crack ships. Kakashi gets his own space man !!! Good for him!

Looking him up and scrolling through his wiki rn, hes so cute?? I love his design wtf. Very fun story too-- was this a movie guy or part of the actual base anime? I dunno but Im a fan of him now, let him make Kakashi his attic wife, it'll be funny

I do think that objectively, the funniest thing u could do here is start off w the canon of him falling in love with Hinata, kidnapping her, all that-- but then he sees Kakashi and has Thoughts And Feelings(TM) and is now like. Conflicted.

This man does not know what polyamory is (and obviously neither Hinata or Kakashi would be interested either way, probably especially bc the other is involved bc that is weird and uncomfortable) and has never really faced what "love" truly is outside of this little box he has never been challenged ab

So he's like suddenly getting super in his own head ab what is love and if he's "cheating" on Hinata by feeling a certain way ab Kakashi (boy she dont even LIKE you) and he's never experienced sexual attraction before but oh man kakashi is DOIN smthn to him rn and he doesnt know whats happening

anyways he actually ends up getting totally distracted from his goal of killing all of humanity or whatever that's ab, because he then proceeds to kidnap Kakashi to add to his Moon Harem(tm) that he refuses to admit is a moon harem bc he condemns harems and looks down upon those with concubines and or multiple wives. But like thats for sure what he is laying in bed at night thinking ab. Im thinking like comedic christain guilt energy but also he is not christain and a moon man

Meanwhile Hinata and Kakashi are on the worst impromptu field trip of their LIVES and its made extra awkward bc like.

"Oh! Hi there, girl my students age who I occasionally interacted with as a literal child and who also looks up to me! I see that this alien has kidnapped the both of us-- you with the intent to marry and me because I apparently have triggered a concerningly intense gay crisis potentially linked to years of living alone on the moon w nothing but puppets!"

"It sure seems like that, semi-father figure to my boyfriend and also man w authority over me ,who is also almost twice my age, and who I may or may not be getting forcibly, indirectly married to! At least he's too busy having a crisis to remember that 'killing all of humanity' thing...?"

"I GUESS!"

Look on the bright side Hinata! At least you get to be the main wife!

Kakashi and Hinata get to bond over the fucking insanity of the situation and try to manipulate Toneri into letting them go (or, at minimum, encourage him to continue to be too fucking distracted having multiple crisis's revolving around them to get back on that killing humanity thing)

Meanwhile Naruto lost his fuckin girlfriend AND his sensei, this is literally the worst day of his fucking life

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

“even i’m not into that shit”

❤︎ synopsis — the sleep token members being fucking morons and fucking around

pairing: sleep token members x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦

a/n: I’M BACK !!!! hopefully i don’t disappear for like a good fifty years after this. this is my third set of stupid ass headcanons. i pulled my shitty humor out of my ass for this one, enjoy !!! (the original ask got swallowed by my dumbass because i accidentally posted the unfinished fic 💀 this is dedicated to my bestie @dead-end-fanfiction)

cw: i think the title speaks for itself

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➵ vessel

i just know this man is the most unhygienic motherfucker to ever exist

more specifically with his teeth. he cannot brush his teeth to save his life

like ??? this all powerful, dark deity, has the most stinky ass breath that if anyone dares to even breath it in, they’d disintegrate on the spot

like what the fuck vessel, you’re better than this

i love vessel but he just does weird shit sometimes

he sleeps butt ass naked

and one time you accidentally walked in on him while he was literally stripping to get ready for bed

he stood there like an npc while you were freaking out

“…. what’s wrong—“ “what’s wrong is that YOU’RE BUTT ASS NAKED IN FRONT OF ME—“

vessel is easily fascinated by human things. i mean - he was once human, so he likes to keep in touch every now and then.

however, out of all of the human things he had to have an obsession with.

… it was rubber ducks

this isn’t even explainable— how do you explain this all-powerful sleep entity to be obsessed with rubber ducks

he literally has a whole room dedicated to his collection of anything rubber duck related. give him a gift that has something to do with ducks and he’s making out with you on the spot

that’s not a joke, he did that with you before

➵ ii

this motherfucker is on his last limb and he’s being held together by paper clips

ii’s not even the leader but he cannot catch a break to save his life

he’s the only one that knows how to cook

one time he left ivy and the vesselettes in the kitchen by themselves. came back to house fires and high pitched screaming that definitely was not from the ladies

ii makes bomb ass banana cream pie though

ik for a fact this man does NOT keep his room clean

you once walked into his room to ask him a favor and there were like - a million drumsticks everywhere on the floor while he sat in the center of it

how does one possess that many drumsticks???

“dude what the f— clean your room!” “it gives me inner peace, y/n. go away.”

ii’s scared of the jollibee mascot

he once went out with his buddies to get some of that fast food. that giant red and yellow fuckass bee then came out of nowhere and spooked the shit out of ii

he then socked the guy in the face so hard the dude wearing the costume had a bloody nose

ii quickly fled the scene to not get arrested

after that he’s had a fear of fast food mascots in general, it’s kinda funny.

don’t bring ii near the jack in the box mascot though, he’s got some trauma from what he’s seen on twitter

➵ iii

zesty ahh mf

plays his bass like he’s fingering someone’s asshole like 🤨 whatcha doin’ iii ??

the type of man to set like fifty million alarms but never wakes up to any of them

however he wakes up everyone else in the process

it gets annoying hearing the “by the seaside” ringtone every morning at 6am. so one day you came into his room and poured ice cold water on him to wake him up

iii didn’t wake up from that btw, you thought it was dead

“…. bro wtf wake up—“

thankfully he wasn’t

biggest kpop stan

he’s a boy group stan and his favorite group is ateez

constantly blasting guerilla too

also i feel like iii owns a tumblr blog too

he’d be out here posting some shih like “pov you’re locked in a room w him for twenty four hours and you have to tickle his balls wyd” 💀

he probably posts also moodboards or some shi and tags them like an actual tumblr blogger

#it took my ahh fifty hours to make this plz repost it

stalks his fans on twitter

gets scared by said fans on twitter

“wdym they wanna get me pregnant”

breaks his bass every four hours during practice and vessel chews his ahh out every time

but it’s funny because you’re always there to help him

➵ ivy

he likes to act like he’s tough shit but ivy is a huge nerd

literally the definition of “magical in bed” except the magic is him explaining the gaming system of magic the gathering

hot asf but has no bitches frfr

also the definition of loser trapped in a hottie’s body

i’d like to believe that ivy has a crunchy ipad kid cough

and i mean CRUNCHY. bro will start choking on his saliva and start coughing like a dying seal

it’s quite hilarious, but also concerning at the same time

the first time you heard him cough like that, you were like 😟

“AEUGH- HEUGH— BEUHSHAK-“ “ivy—“

that pretty sums up the entire interaction

this bitch looks like he ate glue as a kid

more specifically glitter glue. the pink kind.

idk that sounds like ivy

he gets literal death coffee in the morning too btw

no ice. no sugar. straight shots of espresso.

eight shots, btw.

the coffee looks blacker than the black hole.

iii tried some of his coffee one time and spat it all in your face. ivy watched with his hell coffee in hand as you beat the shit out of iii

yeah, safe to say ivy was banned from having that kind of coffee for a while

so yeah. that pretty much sums up the kind of person ivy is