#the wounded alchemist

[doctormichaelaquinn]

I love the consistency of having the scar on Mustang's hand where he carved the transmutation circle still visible a few episodes later. Like Bradley is sitting there threatening Hawkeye and he still has the visual evidence on his body of what he'll do to protect her. Sorry Bradley you simply can not win against that energy.

[halloweencatsart]

Redraw of that one playing card art!

[rizaposting]

been thinking a lot about my royai kid ideas lately but i don't think a lot of people will like them because i don't name the kid after maes lol

[longlivethewhump]

"Ouch"

[caesarinsalata]

[BLOOD WARNING!] PART 1

Strap in for another short read!

I was planning to wait to post this, but I'm curious how this will translate to people 🤔

Part 1: 5 years later

“Hohenheim! Where is Hohenheim?!”

King Xerxes punched the arm of his throne, coughing right after. His subjects frantically whispered amongst themselves. Wondering who last saw Hohenheim.

“Your highness! He’s here!”

Hohenheim came into the throne room escorted by a guard, not looking too happy.

“Hohenheim! You know I detest waiting.” Drumming his fingers.

Hohenheim sighs, stepping up to the base stair of the throne platform. “Yes, yes, I know, your highness. What was it that you needed? I’m very busy with many of your requests.”

The King exhales through his nose. “I’ll choose to overlook that tone. How close are we to immortality? I haven’t got forever, Hohenheim.”

Hohenheim clears his throat, wiping his hands on his clothes. He hated these updates the King forced him to report every other day like this sort of thing he was attempting to give him was achievable overnight. “Your Highness, we’ve been through this. It takes time to gather the resources and the science is complicated.”

“You’re-” The King coughs into the back of his hand. “You’re just making excuses! Where is that Dwarf? He knows a lot more than you and doesn’t make excuses!”

“Everything we know about this immortality nonsense is from him! Of course he’d know!” Hohenheim was getting frustrated with this whole immortality thing! At first he was all for helping The King, but the more information he gathered about this supposed immortality was just driving their King crazy. Crazier than he already was, he didn’t particularly favor their King as the years went on. Too many people were way too obsessed with this immortality thing once their age began to surface.

“Hohenheim.” The King suddenly stood up. “I’m tired of waiting.”

“The Dwarf has already told you how this will work! It’s bound to take a handful of years. Especially when you order the death of your own people from all across the country!” Hohenheim was getting irritated. Why did he go along with this make believe? No King should live forever regardless. Being in power had a nasty habit of corrupting people.

“Hohenheim! Have you forgotten your place? Need I remind you? I am your King!” The King had a coughing fit and sat back down. The nearby subjects inched closer in worry. Wheezing out the words, “I’m fine…” and glaring down at Hohenheim. Seeming to think of something devilish, he turned to his right hand guard. Glancing to Hohenheim. “I think you need a reminder…” Clapping his hands at the guard signaling him to leave.

“What does that mean? Your Highness, just be reasonable!”

“We’re passed that now, Hohenheim. You obviously need some inspiration and a reminder of your mortality.”

Hohenheim was just confused now.

Moments later the guard returned with an 11 year old holding his hand. It was Edward. But he wasn’t bothered to look up from his book he was holding in his other hand. He was guided to the middle of the throne room.

“Edward? Why is he here?” Only then, Ed looked up and around. Not really caring about whatever was going on right now. His gaze went from the King to Hohenheim then back down to his book. “Your Highness, he can’t be in here.”

“You’ve left me no choice, Hohenheim. You obviously haven't sacrificed enough yet to understand the gravity of what immortality will do for this empire!”

Hohenheim’s breath caught in his throat. “What are you planning to do?”

“Don’t worry, I won't kill your eldest son.”

“Wha-?” Hohenheim lurched forward but was stopped by the other guards. “Ed! Get out of here!”

Edward whipped his head up, startled by Hohenheim’s exclamation. Feeling the tension in the room, he was only able to tug at the guards hold on him. “What the- What the hells going on here?” Dropping his book when another guard grabbed his other ar. He fought against their hold to no avail. Guided to the ground, they held him down despite his kicking and cursing.

“Good timing too. You haven’t been teaching your boy proper manners. Proceed.”

“What are you doing??!!” Hohenheim fought against the guards holding him back, one of them elbowing him in the gut causing him to double over.

A guard unsheathed his sword and stepped closer to Edward.

Understanding the situation finally, Edward’s eyes grew wide. He was suddenly scared out of his mind. “Get that thing away from me! What the hell is this?!”

“Ugh,” The King groaned, leaning his head on his hand. “Children are nothing but annoying nuisances.”

The guard held the sword in both hands over his head. Edward could tell from his face he didn’t wanna do this. Whatever it was he was going to do to him, it wasn’t going to be anything good for Ed. He couldn’t hear Hohenheim yelling his name while he struggled against four guards. His heart throbbed in his ear.

This is bad.

He’s got to move.

He’s got to do /something/.

NOW!

Ed started to kick and scream more ferociously, startling the guard and throwing him off his aim. Depending on what he was actually aiming for, that is. The sword came down and all Ed could hear was his screams and the slice of metal getting clean through flesh and bone. He choked on his own tongue when the sudden pain sent a shock through him. A moment of silence passed over him before he sucked in as much air as possible, stifling a choked gasp and screamed from the top of his lungs. The guards had let go of him and backed away, guilt plastered all over their faces. His hands shot down to his dismembered leg. Trying to lift himself to see how bad it was, the color of deep red was all he could see. Everywhere. All over the place. Barely making out Hohenheim sprinting right at him, tears in his eyes. He lifted Ed's upper half up, desperately trying to keep him from passing out, but the shock and pain were too much for such a small boy to handle.

[schrijverr]

My Stab Wound, Not Our Stab Wound

When Ed gets stabbed on his way to work the rest of team Mustang realize just how high a pain tolerance he has.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: chronic pain, blood, injury, wound care

~~~~

Edward is having a Bad day. Yes, capital B bad. It just sucks from top to bottom from the second he wakes up.

It starts before he even opens his eyes, when the air has him groaning and 99% sure it’s going to rain later today, because there is an ache in his stumps that his automail keeps tugging at.

The groan alone would have been enough for Al to try to talk him out of going to report, but Al isn’t here right now and the sooner Ed goes to report to colonel bastard, the sooner he can go save Al from his own kindness.

The town they had followed yet another busted lead to the philosopher's stone in is in the middle of setting up for a festival and Al is very useful when it comes to lugging heavy pieces of stalls and a stage around. So, naturally the younger had stuck around.

If he’s honest, Ed would have loved to stick around as well, but alas he had been called back to eastern command instead.

Colonel bastard had kindly – read in his usual asshole-y manner – explained to Ed that he is behind on his reports and paper work. Until he is caught up, the colonel is not giving him another lead and he does have another lead. Ed can’t afford to waste those few days to catch up to help with the festival alongside Al, so he went to back to East City alone.

Of course, Al wanted to come with him. He was ready to go the second Ed told him he had to, but Ed couldn’t bring himself to ask Al to go, no matter how much he would have loved the company of his little brother.

Because the festival reminded both of them of the sheep festival back home. Of the good days of their childhood. And it was clear how badly Al wanted to stay. Ed couldn’t take that from him. Not after everything else he’d already taken.

So here he is, groaning in pain and all by himself in his dorm bed.

For a second he contemplates listening to the Al in his head and staying down for today. However, getting to command today is to save time, not add more to it. Besides, it isn’t raining right now and the pain is still manageable, who knows how bad it’ll get when the water does start to fall.

Still, he allows himself a moment of misery, before forcing himself out of bed, cursing his way through his morning routine.

He is still grumbling when he walks down the streets towards eastern command. His foul mood is radiating off him, so most people give him a wide berth, something Ed is grateful for. Because of this, it comes as a surprise as someone bumps into him harshly, sending him sprawling to the ground with a loud thud, pain radiating from his shoulder.

“Hey!” he exclaims, getting up and glaring at the guy that ran into him. “Watch where you’re fucking going, asshole.”

For some reason the guy gets very pale, looking almost stricken. And he doesn’t reply to Ed’s comment at all.

Ed follows his gaze, spotting his watch, which is now dangling from his belt instead of tucked into his pocket like normal. He shoves it back and rolls his eyes, sighing: “I’m not going to arrest you or some shit just because ran into me. I’m not a dick.”

The guy looks like he can’t believe it, but before Ed can say anything else, he has turned on his heel, running away as fast as he can.

“Weirdo,” Ed mumbles to himself, before continuing the journey.

There is still a pain in his shoulder – the left one this time – from where the guy bumped into him, which must have been harder than Ed thought. It’s another layer of shit on his already shit day, because he was planning on writing with that arm, shittier handwriting be damned. He still probably will, but it will suck ass.

Sour mood pertaining, he stomps the last leg of his journey, blessedly alone in the streets, since most are off at work at this point.

The command center itself also isn’t as busy as it usually is, most still catching up on yesterday’s work. Ed feels relieved that he doesn’t have to greet people as they pass. Al would call him rude, but sometimes he’s just not in the mood to be nice. That’s perfectly normal, in his opinion. Al can stuff his manners.

Angrily he kicks open the door the office, allowing a small sense of satisfaction at the loud bang it produces.

That satisfaction is immediately wiped away by Mustang’s smarmy voice as he says: “Ah, Fullmetal, how nice of you to ruin my door again. What did it do this time? Call you short?”

Ed glares at him, not sure if he’s even in the mood to snap back at him. He normally would be flying off the rails, but he’s sore and tired and he just wants to get today over with. It’s already shitty enough without having to deal with colonel bastard on top of it. He just wants to get through his paperwork in peace.

He knows it’s suspicious not to get mad at Mustang and he does feel annoyance coursing through his veins.

But the atmosphere looks peaceful, with most of them diligently working, except for Mustang and Havoc, since the colonel is leaning against the latter’s desk. They’d been likely chatting before Ed came in. However, maybe it was work related, since Hawkeye isn’t shooting at either of them.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, colonel bastard,” Ed settles on. “Just give me my damn paper work so I can get out of here as soon as I can.”

Now, Ed isn’t so stupid that he doesn’t see the rest of the team share a concerned look with each other at his lack of response. However, he’s also not admitting that he’s hurting because of the rain and missing his brother. That would be childish and he’s not childish. He’s not.

In his own way, it is kind of sweet that Mustang tries to get a rise out of him by saying: “Really, no more attitude? Who are you and what have you done with my subordinate? I mean, you’re shrimp-y enough, but I don’t know…”

“Like you’ve ever been thrilled to do paperwork,” Ed snaps, not in the mood for Mustang’s mind games and teases. “And I’m not shrimp-y!”

Mustang pulls a face that screams ‘fair enough’ – because it’s not like Ed is wrong – before he pushes himself of Havoc’s desk to go get his pile.

Ed goes to follow him. He doesn’t have his own desk, since he’s rarely there, so he’ll often catch up on paperwork at the colonel’s coffee table, spreading over his couch, which honestly sounds like a lovely space to drop down after the shitty morning he’s had.

However, the second he turns, Havoc lets out a loud: “Holy fucking shit, Chief!”

Immediately Ed whirls back around again, thinking it might be a cry for help. But nothing stands out, except for the white faces of the others. As if the blood as been drained out.

He is about to ask what’s wrong when Mustang exclaims: “What the fuck!” Before demanding: “You didn’t tell me you were injured, Fullmetal. What happened?”

“Injured?” Ed asks, confused, because, yeah, he’s hurting, but he’s not visibly injured as far as he’s aware. “I’m injured?”

For a moment, all he gets are shocked expressions, as if they can’t believe what he’s saying. But, luckily, there is Hawkeye, who says: “You have a knife sticking out of your shoulder, major. I believe it’s the flesh side.”

Ed has no memory of being stabbed this morning – and it must have been this morning, because he does distinctively remember laying on his back in bed and he’s sure he would have noticed a knife then.

Absentmindedly he reaches back to check as he goes through this morning, before he gasps: “That asshole!”

“What?” Mustang demands as he hovers around him, which is annoying and un-bastard-like.

“Some guy bumped into me this morning, I thought it must be a stupid accident, but he just failed to rob me or some shit. Probably stumbled instead of threateningly sliding up behind me,” Ed explains. “No wonder he was so nervous.”

“How did you not notice getting mugged?” Fuery explains, looking a little green around the gills.

“Not the point right now,” Havoc cuts in. “We need to get you to a hospital!”

Hospital seems to have been the magic word, because it seemingly catches up to all of them that Ed has a knife in his back. And that is not good.

However, the last thing Ed wants is to be stuck in a hospital, so he quickly says: “It’s not that bad you guys, no need for a hospital. I’m sure one of you knows how to stitch someone up. We can just patch me up right here.”

“You can’t seriously-” Mustang starts, before he is cut off by Hawkeye: “Havoc is the team medic, but I can do it too if you’d prefer.”

“Lieutenant!” Mustang exclaims, sounding appalled that she is even entertaining it.

“He is not going to the hospital unless it’s screaming and kicking, sir. Better to minimize the injury,” Hawkeye explains in her matter of fact tone.

“He needs to see a medical professional,” Mustang protests. “There’s a knife in his back.”

“Uhm, he is right here,” Ed pipes up with a scowl, annoyed that they’re all making a big deal out of it. “And I don’t wanna go to the hospital. Just stitch me up here and I’ll be fine. The longer you argue, the more I’m going to bleed.”

Ed isn’t sure which part of the comment wins Mustang over. He wants to claim it’s his stubbornness that colonel bastard knows he’s never going to win from, however, a small part of him can’t help but think it’s the bleeding part. That Mustang might be genuinely concerned about his well being and safety. Which is absurd and he won’t entertain the thought.

“Fine,” is what Mustang huffs in the end. “But Havoc is doing the stitching. He’s the trained professional here and we’re doing it by the book.”

Hawkeye seems to be fine with that decision and orders Ed to her chair, while she goes to get the med kit for Havoc, who is also getting his ass in gear to assess the wound.

“We don’t know how long it is, but based off the blood flow, it hasn’t hit anything vital. Just some stitches and taking it easy for a bit will probably be enough. But no cheering yet, if it’s really far, we might still take you to the hospital, chief,” Havoc says.

“I don’t wanna,” Ed whines, knowing it is a little childish, but he doesn’t care. He isn’t in the mood for a hospital – granted, he never is, but it’s worse without having Al there.

“Well, you might not get a say,” Havoc counters, luckily not sounding patronizing, but just realistic. “If it looks like it might have messed with your shoulder too much, we’ll have to. Or you’ll be out of commission for even longer.”

That gets Ed to quiet down about it and accept his fate. He can’t afford to waste time being out of commission. They have to get their bodies back. Al has to get his body back.

Hawkeye returns with the med kit and Havoc prepares the needle. Ed pointedly doesn’t look at said needle, trying not to think about it. Stitches are somehow better than shots, but they still suck and not having to see them helps.

Once that is done, Havoc gets in position, warning: “I’m about to get the knife out and your clothes off so I can see the wound. You ready? Need a count down?”

“I’m good, just pull it out,” Ed replies, bracing himself.

Havoc does just that, tugging the knife out of Ed’s body. Now, his pain receptors have admittedly been out of whack ever since he lost his limbs, so only a little stab of pain goes through Ed at the action. Not enough to flinch.

Ed helps Havoc in getting his layers off, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of warm, sticky blood sliding down his back. Ugh, it’s what he hates most about getting injured.

Under instruction of Havoc, Hawkeye puts pressure on the wound, while Havoc puts on some gloves and preps the stuff to clean the wound.

Meanwhile, Mustang is still hovering in a way that Ed isn’t thinking about. The colonel asks: “Are you doing okay? You sure you don’t need the hospital?”

“I’m fine, bastard,” Ed rolls his eyes. “Look, the knife wasn’t that big at all. Was an amateur mugging. I might even have been his first.”

“That’s not at all soothing, Fullmetal,” Mustang sighs, sounding exasperated, fond and exhausted at the same time.

“Who says I’m soothing you, asshole? I got stabbed, shouldn’t you be soothing me?” Ed shoots back.

“Do- do you want me to?” Mustang asks, sounding cautious and uncertain, but like he means it.

It makes something weird twist up inside Ed and he explodes: “Of course I don’t want that, you bastard. Don’t make it weird.”

“You came in with a knife in your back, kid. Pretty sure it’s already weird,” Breda pipes up.

“Oh shut up,” Ed says, though he’s calmed down a little again. “It was a minor stab wound.”

“How can a stab wound be minor?” Falman wonders out loud as Fuery besides him gets even paler as he watches Havoc clean Ed’s wound with alcohol, while the teen only hisses a little bit.

“Is Fuery okay?” Ed asks, once Havoc has put the wipe down again “He’s looking a little pale.”

“I’m good,” the young sargent squeaks, though he proceeds to pass out when Havoc first stabs the needle in Ed’s back.

Ed can relate, needles suck. He has seen too many in his lifetime already and he’s glad he’s not seeing this one. The sensations aren’t that bad and without the visual, it’s easier to ignore the fact that it is a needle.

Mustang watches on, looking a little horrified, but also impressed as he asks: “How are you not even responding right now?”

“It’s just a little prick,” Ed says, barely stopping himself from shrugging. “It’s not like you can really feel it.”

“Most definitely would feel this,” Havoc informs him. “I’ve seen grown men cry, because of stitches. You’re a real tough cookie, chief.”

Ed doesn’t really believe that and sends an incredulous look over his shoulder to Havoc. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s not as bad as the stabbing and I thought that was either because the guy bumped into me or because it was my automail radiating through.”

“Your automail?” Hawkeye asks and if it was anyone other than her, Ed might have gotten defensive or avoidant, honestly.

Instead, he just says: “Yeah, it’s going to rain later, so my ports are reacting to the air pressure or some shit. It can radiate through from the port. Just thought it was that.”

“It gets that bad?” Mustang frowns.

“It’s not bad,” Ed snaps, defenses up again. “I can function just fine. It’s not even raining yet, so I am perfectly okay. I just gotta do my paperwork and then I’m gone again. No need to get all tied up, colonel bastard.”

Mustang doesn’t look like he believes Ed, but he also doesn’t push under the force of Ed’s glare (which pleases him intensely).

“Okay, all done,” Havoc announces from behind, applying a bandage while cutting through the tension.

“Great! Thank you, Havoc,” Ed says, getting up and putting his clothes on again. They’re a little crusty with blood, but a little alchemy fixes that right up. Then he gestures to Mustang: “You were getting my paperwork.”

“Are you sure you’re able to work?” Mustang asks.

“Yes! I am!” Ed explodes again. “It’s just a fucking stabwound, Mustang. It’s fucking nothing, you’re all being so dramatic about it. Just let me do my work so I can get the hell out of here. Not all of us have time to laze around.”

Ed can see in Mustang’s eyes that there’s a war waging inside him. He holds his breath as he waits to see how the colonel will react.

After a moment, Mustang dawns a smug look as he says: “Well, I guess it fits. A small stab wound for a small alchemist.”

That sets Ed off again, but this time, the explosion chafes less. Instead it feels familiar, a well worn melody they’ve played a hundred times. A nice way to be angry and frustrated without needing to be vulnerable. Just what Ed needs to feel like himself again after all the concern that had wafted off of the group.

He ignores how the colonel knows that about him as he follows him into his office, sprawling on the couch to catch up on paperwork.

Later, he’ll get berated by Al for not going to the hospital after he was stabbed and for not taking it easy when his ports hurt. But Ed doesn’t mind, he’ll listen to Al be worried a thousand times over as they ride off to a new lead. He really feels like this one might be it. And no time wasted in East City, the whole goal of the stunt.

And the rest of team Mustang, would never underestimate Ed after that day. They already knew the kid is a little insane, but holy shit, can Fullmetal take a hit. He probably has the highest pain tolerance in that office and all of them know and respect him for it.

Even if it hurts that Ed has already hurt so much that it doesn’t register anymore.

~~

A/N:

I can’t remember where I saw it, but Havoc as the team medic just rings so true for me, so I had to put it in here xp

Also, if you get stabbed, go to a hospital pls and let people with actual medical knowledge look at it

[rattydearest]

Painted my mom's babygirl as a mother's day gift💕

[fmaoldficarchive]

Sick

By Sevlow - posted 2007-11-30 Live fic link Rating: R Mature Category: Gen Warnings: [!!] (Medium spoilers) Self harm, aftermath of suicide attempt, description of infected wounds, please mind all tags and warnings and stay safe. Relationship(s): Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Alphonse Elric & Roy Mustang Character(s): Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, Alphonse Elric, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Heymans Breda Genres: Angst, Drama Summary: Ed is late for his report. Again. ((One-shot.))

[dirtytransmasc]

just like... a thought, not necessarily an original one, but one that's chewing at my brain like a rabid dog.

Ed sustaining a fatal injury on the field, and Roy being with him, knowing that this son will die, and he might lose the other too, and he can't be with both, that he might lose both of them and he never even got a chance to truly hug his youngest.

like, if he has the chance, he makes a desperate call to whoever is the closest to Al, begging them to find him, to stay with him, to tell him that he loves him because he can't.

he's already watching one son die, feels him dying in his arms, and his mind is on his other son, who's probably feeling the soul bond getting weaker and weaker, who probably knows his brother is dead/dying, who's just a scared little kid and he can't be there with him.

its even better(?)(in my own sick and twisted mind) if he has enough time to get to a phone himself (maybe a hospital) so he can watch his son die and be on the phone with another, trying to comfort both as they slip right through his fingers...

I'll be quiet now, I feel like i've said enough

[waitineedaname]

when you think about it, the homunculi really over-rely on their special abilities in fights. greed's the worst example of this since he fights like a guy who has never had to worry about getting seriously injured because of the shield + regeneration, which means he gets his ass kicked once those things are bypassed. envy also regularly gets their ass kicked, even when they turn into a fuckoff huge monster, because despite their shapeshifting powers giving them a leg up, they're not all that good of a fighter. even pride, the absolute scariest homunculus, is basically useless when his shadows aren't available. the only homunculus that's an actual competent fighter even when not using their special abilities is wrath, who coincidentally is the only one who actually had formal martial training

[omegaremix]

Summer 2022 Mixtape:

Front Line Assembly: Mechanical Soul

Omar Shooli: “Hab Isii (Hug Me)”

Iftin Band: “Sirmaqabe (No Secrets)”

Mukhtar Ramadan Iidi: “Baayo (Hey Woman)”

Musical Youth: “Pass The Dutchie”

Clancy Eccles: “Feel The Rhythm”

Days Spent: “Gaslighter”

Pure Hell: “American”

Tears For Fears: “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”

Girlpool: “Nothing Gives Me Pleasure”

Funkees, The: “Mimbo”

Krigshoder: “Aktiv Dodshjelp”

A Number Of Names: “Sharevari”

Nas: “Brunch On Sundays”

Constant Smiles: “Run To Stay”

King Woman: “I Wanna’ Be Adored”

Grandmaster Caz & Marley Marl: “Punk What You Gonna’ Do About It?”

Petrol Girls: “Fight For Our Lives”

Dalek: “Decimation (Dis’ Nation)”

Public Enemy: “Food As A Machine Gun”

Catharsis: “Choose Your Heaven”

Rid Of Me: “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

Les Rallize Denudes: “People Can Choose”

Ho99o9: “Battery Not Included”

Alexisonfire: “Sweet Dreams”

Snooper: “Powerball”

Einsturzende Neubauten: Alles In Allem

Mom: “Things Comes Into Place”

Solomon Shibeshi: “Endet New Negerwa”

Alchemist: “Broken Bottles”

Benny The Butcher & P. Diddy: “Ten More Crack Commandments”

Anders Rhedin: “Mediation Music #1″

Nite Jewel: “To Feel It”

Camp Cope: “Blue”

Consolidated: “Two Minutes To Midnight”

Feels Fine: “Washed Out Blue”

Fontaines D.C.: “I Love You”

Grivo: “Fatal Blue”

Mount Kimble: “Maybe” (James Blake RMX)

Lou Reed: “Street Hassle”

Nick Klein: “Tambourine Player”

Unknown Me: “Traffic (Taipei)”

Public Service Broadcasting: “Lichtspeil III Symphonie Diagonale”

Shit Narnia: “Abundant, Scattered”

Ruste Juxx & Tone Spliff: “For Every Shell”

True Blossom: ”Serious Boys”

New Mexican Stargazers: “Santa Fe Cruiser”

Pinch Points: “Am I Okay?”

The Offset: Spectacles: self-titled

Corrosion Of Conformity: “Elphyn”

Deeper: “Only A Shadow”

Maraudeur: “Robot Machine”

Daniel Johnston: “In A Lifetime”

Taqbir: self-titled

Black Dresses: “Hertz”

Beauty Pill: “At A Loss”

Raooul: “I Had Richie Bucher”

KRS-One: “Raw Hip-Hop”

Las Eras: “Frio”

Revolting Cocks: Big Sexy Land

Rid Of Me: “My Own Summer”

Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry: “People Funny Boy”

Iguana Moonlight: “V”

Haircuts For Men: ”Dead Friends”

Constant Smiles: “You Are Still Out There”

Chastity: “Innocence”

Dum Dum Girls: “Hey Sis”

Slant: “Casualty”

Glare: “Floating”

Rixe: “Coups Et Blessures”

Skanks The Rap Martyr ft. Ruste Juxx & Tone Spliff: “Double Cross Ranch”

Scary Hours: “Uvalde”

Men, The: “L.A.D.O.C.H.”

Free Kitten: “Oh Bondage Up Yours”

Snooper: “Come Together”

Grimes: “Shinigami Eyes”

Hesitation Wounds: “Guthrie”

Tewodros Mekonnen: “ሐገሬ (My Country)”

Ultimo Resorte: “Cementerio Caliente / Peligro Social”

Kriegshog: “Burn”

Neo-Punkz: “If I Watch The T.V.”

Yeastie Girlz: “Sue Your Friends”

[toonabby]

Happy double birthdays to Hayden Daviau (28) and Hank Azaria (60)!

(Update: added ID for Azaria's Simpsons characters)

[phoenixcatch7]

The concept of good and evil as a cosmic balance of the universe as a world building thing has always wigged me out since before I could even put my finger on what.

So much of it, when improperly done (ie, good vastly outweighing the bad, evil must be eradicated entirely) is just... The thinnest veneer of a plot device that makes it so hard to develop any good sense of nuance or even real understanding. It reeks of propaganda, and self righteous at that, even when in universe it's a hard proven fact. And it's always the bad/evil being unnatural, inherently wrong, the mere existence irredeemable.

Even when there's a bit more thought put into it, something like 'there is evil in every heart, but we must learn to understand it, and accept it, so we are not overcome' still has, like, that black and white binary to it, like sure there's shades of grey, but it's still... Based around the morals of the creator? It's an entirely objective concept, this good and evil.

Even today, cultures and religions around the world can have wildly varying ideas on what are virtues and what are cardinal sins that'll get you punished forever (even the words there are from one religion that famously cannot agree within itself). In the past global values were even more extreme as people learned more about the world over thousands of years (ye olde sexism is a big example).

Yes, it might not be true of reality, but even in fiction I still find works that explore the concept of a world order that incorporates good and evil physically or spiritually just... Off. Like that one terry pratchet quite from death I am going to quote very loosely - 'grind this universe down to its very building blocks, and show me one speck of justice. One atom of mercy'. The response is 'but people - we have to believe in these things! We need to believe in something!'.

Of course people need to believe in it. We do. We need justice and mercy and love and kindness. But to make those human concepts integral to the universe itself - magic forces of good and light and purity, and evil and darkness and corruption... It always sort of falls through.

But I'd also love to play with that. I'd love to explore other ways a fantasy world could work that could be misinterpreted by its denizens and good and evil. Something that has atoms or motes or fairy dust to make up its being. Decay and repair, perhaps. Warmth and cold. Light and dark as more than the presence or absence of radiation. The dark as a radiation of its own.

To say something is evil for its mere physical existence, I find that very hard to believe.

[dafry-shenanigans]

Hahaha, guys what if-

What if I made some of my own transmutation circles/arrays-

[outeremissary]

Top 5 Traitors

oh fuck yes

5. Kas the Bloody-Handed

Legacy pick (only one to make the final cut). You have had some contact with tabletop roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons, so you may be familiar with the tale of Vecna: once upon a time, a powerful lich was betrayed by his trusted vampiric lieutenant, who cut off his hand and carved out his eye. Vecna is the most famous figure of this story, but as a kid reading through the relics in the 3.5 and AD&D books in the house, I was always fascinated by the vampire. Without Kas, the most iconic aspects of Vecna simply would not be: the Hand and Eye became the symbols of the lich's power in godhood and the clash between the two created the greatest myth of his existence. And Kas was related (at least in 3.5) to a wicked item as well- the Sword of Kas, a sentient blade dripping with its former master's malevolence and waiting to take control over its new wielder. Kas has a longer and richer publication history than just this (especially in 2e), but the bare basics of my pre-internet youth were enough to set wheels turning in my head. I was so fond of the idea of Kas and Vecna, former allies and now bitter enemies over some secret quarrel, that I made the focus of the campaign I ran in high school their history. We never quite got to Vecna, but the vengeful spirit of Kas did make an appearance, where he served as the party's mysterious and ominous adversary (and occasional ally).

4. Goro Akechi

I am told it is "very unsurprising" I am an Akechi fan. I really don't think anything else needs to be said about this one.

3. Alcibiades from real life

If you aren't familiar with the Athenian Alcibiades, he is my all time favorite historical figure. I think due to Assassin's Creed a lot of people know him now (fascinating choice with the white hair in that game), but he's a person so interesting he altered the trajectory of my life. Alcibiades was a younger contemporary of the famous Socrates (this is relevant. put a pin in it), living at the end of what many consider the Classical period of Ancient Greek history. He is one of the most famous students of Socrates, but he wasn't a philosopher. No, young, noble Alcibiades, nephew of Pericles, was a politician. Famous for his wild hedonism, keen intellect, and blinding charisma, he became a major populist leader in Athens in the early years of the Peloponnesian War and won a fairly significant command in Sicily. However, shortly before he was set to leave for Sicily, Alcibiades and peers were accused of defacing the hermai, protective statues of Hermes distributed throughout the city, rendering the hermai impotent in their function (two common beliefs about how they were defaced are that either the noses or penises were broken off- both prominent features on the simplistic phallic statues). The defacing of the hermai was a major act of impiety and an ill omen for the campaign.

Under scrutiny in the wake of these grave accusations Alcibiades ultimately decided to flee justice and defect to Sparta- if you're not familiar with the Peloponnesian War, it was fought between Athens and allies (many unwilling) and Sparta and allies (somewhat less coerced?). Up to this point, the war hadn't been going too poorly for Athens despite significant setbacks due to a plague in the early years and the death of Pericles. As an informant and strategist, Alcibiades turned the tide. Athens was put on the defensive and it seemed likely that Sparta had the edge needed to actually win against its wealthy foe (and as a side note the Sicilian campaign ended in disaster- some speculate that Alcibiades could have averted this if he had retained his command). Unfortunately, in the midst of these giddy successes Alcibiades fell out of favor with the king of Sparta when it was suspected that he had seduced the king's wife; some accounts go so far as to say there were rumors that King Agis's son was actually fathered by Alcibiades. In a bad position, Alcibiades fled once more, this time to Persia; the historian Thucydides claims that under new patronage Alcibiades embarked on a campaign of political and economic revenge against Sparta by ruining its relationship with Persian allies.

With both Sparta and Athens now in a disadvantaged state, Alcibiades persuaded the leaders of Athens to welcome him back and give him military command (as well as the curb democracy in the city-state and make him a part of the oligarchy). Once more, the war seemed to shift. Sparta stalled under wishy washy leadership while Athenian efforts saw some success thanks to the excellent leadership from now two time traitor Alcibiades. At the height of this, Sparta attempted to petition for peace and was denied. But it was the man's nature to be dogged by scandals wherever he went: ultimately political upheavals resulted in the installation of a less friendly government and he was driven from the city by enemies yet again after a major defeat. After that, he wound up an exile in the Achaemenid Empire once more; at one point he reportedly attempted to offer advice and aid to Athenian troops he recognized as being in a poor position, but was dismissed (these forces were annihilated by their foes). Ultimately he played no further significant part in the war. Athens lost and a Spartan puppet state was installed.

However, there was one final part Alcibiades had to play in history! You may recall in paragraph one I mentioned Socrates. You may also know that Socrates was condemned for corrupting the youths of Athens and compelled to drink poison to carry out his own execution. Well, as it happens, one theory about what exactly was happening with that charge is that Socrates was specifically scapegoated for teaching Alcibiades, a dangerous enemy of Athens. Whether or not this is true (Socrates was an unpopular asshole in other ways) I feel that when you read Alcibiades as written in works like Plato's Symposium you can feel the tension of Alcibiades' ruined post-war reputation and how it reflected back on his acquaintances. The Alcibiades of the Symposium is vivacious, careless, sexual, and dangerously defiant of social order. He delivers the final speech in the work and when he finishes his followers cause the entire dinner party to collapse into disorder and be broken up. And at age 18, I was so enamored with this bizarre ending to the work that I decided I had to study Ancient Greek history to understand everything about the world that produced that scene. When I wrote my honors thesis to complete my bachelor's degree, Alcibiades provided the frame of my introductory chapter: even though I had planned not to center him, in the end he became my mission statement.

As it happens, most of my relatives never read past that first chapter, so I'm glad he was lively enough to impress... At any rate, he's quite special to me. If I could meet any one historical figure this would be the one. Basic bitch answer, I know, but hey. He had a real impact on me.

2. Tristian

(Spoilers up to the end of the quest Betrayer's Flight)

Kingmaker has made something absolutely wretched of me, as any who have had contact with me in the past three years (yikes) can attest. Tristian has entirely, wholly melted my brain. Something about a treachery that's so vividly clear and predictable but you still can't believe because you just... can't reconcile the idea with the person you know. And then the added layer where there's nothing false about that initial understanding! Despite all the secrets and deceit, somehow Tristian is still exactly as they are originally met. All of that good intent and compassion and naive sweetness is real, every bit as real as the little bursts of pettiness and condescension and the fixation on performance as a servant of Sarenrae. It's such a heady mix of sincerity and selfishness. I am enamored with this character. You know I am enamored with him. Complicit in attempts on your life! Enabled mass murder! Willing to sink to the absolute depths to recover the comfort of life as some ideal self that never really existed! Dogged by guilt, but never enough to endanger himself or his goals until it's far too late to avert the most heinous crimes. And so many of the little sabotages and treacheries centered on one single person of personal interest... I adore the ways that Tristian contradicts and undermines himself while being so straightforward and undisguised. Such a unique character to me, and one I find... very personally relatable in some of the flaws and motivations. Not that I've engineered any bioweapons, of course! Anyway. I could prattle on endlessly about Tristian, and I think you've already heard much of it! So I'll let this be.

ACTUALLY coming back in with an edit that I will try to keep SPOILER FREE so I don't have to change the warning but the end of that companion quest line was a betrayal to ME PERSONALLY and I will DIE MAD and it is EXTREMELY RUDE to be abandoned like that!!! Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. I'm feeling some kind of fucking emotion here.

Anthy Himemiya

I went back and forth on who should occupy the number one position on this list and was ultimately won over by the fact that in the famous "Top 10 Anime Betrayals" of memetic fame, Anthy is in fact listed as number one. Anthy is also my favorite anime character of all time. If you haven't watched Revolutionary Girl Utena, stop reading this and go watch it. Seriously. Watch the whole thing. Even the stupid bullshit and the recap episodes. It is the best anime I've ever seen.

Anyway. If you have watched it, then you probably already understand my reasons. Anthy is a captivating symbolic depiction of femininity under patriarchy, a woman who does not desire her own oppression but struggles even to dream of liberation. She is a victim of abuse and a perpetuator of the cycle: she casually destroys the vulnerable and ruins those who would be her allies. She is on a campaign of her own destruction. Anthy is not a good person, but she has born the blame for evils she was never responsible for as long as she can remember: she is the quintessential Eve figure. Her betrayal of Utena is shocking not only because the two have finally reached an understanding and earnest trust, but because it is a clearcut betrayal of her own desires (even if Utena wavered in a critical moment). And ultimately? Ultimately? Anthy isn't freed by Utena! Although Utena never gives up on her, she doesn't "rescue" Anthy, only passes on enough hope to allow Anthy to escape her circumstances herself- perhaps ultimately making Anthy the true heroine of the story. I laid on the floor for a few hours and thought about life after finishing this show.

I adore Anthy. She's such a subtly drawn character so dripping with nuance. She's not a heroic or villainous character, in contrast to Utena, and she can be truly vicious both in her service of Akio and pursuing her own petty vengeances. Although she is constantly cast as weak by other characters, she has endured unspeakable suffering and has found a form of power and agency even in her captive state. Anthy has a mystique that I could spend a lifetime thinking about. This is such a rich, complex story, but Anthy shines at the center of it and stands head and shoulders above the rest of an unbelievably compelling cast.