#the worst part is that this is extra credit i don't even HAVE TO DO IT

[loverdude]

We got an assignment in my lifespan development psych class about like our attitudes towards our own death like questions abt ur greatest fears abt it and regrets/accomplishments if u died right now and etc and it's like the worst possible assignment for me specifically

[aquato-family-circus]

Interns & Teachers hcs best to worst

Morris obvs we know doesn't wanna trade his mentorship with Milla so they must get along well, or at least he thinks so! I think he really respects and admires her, and wants to impress her. Milla on her part is textually a very good teacher and caregiver so she probably has given Morris a lot to work with to grow and improve. Maybe Morris was even more of a rascal and trouble maker before we met him and Milla taught him to at least put that energy toward something productive. Like Pirate Radio!

I don't USUALLY like going to extra material for things I think are true but the art book says Adam is senior to the other interns which I think implies he actually has spent plenty of time with Truman, rather than the impression the game gives of "none at all hes in a coma, lol".

That being said I imagine their mentorship is on a very professional feeling level. they get along and maybe Truman even tries to be friendly and casual with the boy, but Adam is super focused on being a good student and working on his big historical project. After the mole incicent though maybe he loosens up! He nearly lost the chance to talk to his mentor ever again after all.

Gisu and Otto are super duper casual in contrast to Adam and Truman. Gisu skateboards into his lab, yells WHATS UP TEACH! Otto says something abt his latest project before throwing a wrench at Gisu who catches it mid sick skate flip because Otto just expects her to help with said project in exchange to credits + not having to do homework for a week. They barely talk outside of this bc the agreement is not spoken and just based on vibes and knowing winks.

After the games I think Lizzie swings back to Compton's and he gives her a stern look and a raised eyebrow like you didn't do my assignment? and Lizzies like dude I tried man. and she thinks shes gonna get a lecture but instead Compton's like I'm sorry about that, let's start over, and then they play chess and he wins 3 times in a row. He learns Lizzie likes "weird" and "ugly" animals like bugs and rats and he makes some new assignment about just observing them in the wild, maybe try to talk to them if she can! and reporting back to him. Lizzie still thinks thisis a bit lame but at least she doesnt have to set up a Goat Trap so its an improvement

Sam learns what Coach did at camp and she doesn't do anything actively malicious but she does give him horrible stink eye for like a week. afterwards they go back to getting along surprisingly well aside from all the times Sam says some shit that sounds oddly like a threat but it goes over Oleander's head like half the time.

If Adam and Truman are a good professional vibe, Norma and Hollis are a bit of a stinky professional vibe. Hollis obviously thinks shes a capable young girl, she did let her teach class while she was off meditating about bills. But Norma wants so much more than that and tries so so so hard to impress her even though she ALSO thinks her homework assignment is boring and childish. She goes to Hollis' office like I want a different assignment, with the unspoken want "do not treat her like a child". and Hollis is like oh ok do you want to learn some advanced techniques that come from reading this big dry book of theory as big as your head. and Norma is like well, no. and Hollis is like ok then do your assignment very neutrally and Norma leaves thinking SHE HATES ME!!! bc I think Norma probably has. bad responses to rejection.

Hopefully Norma improves over time though bc I think! I think Hollis could possibly see a lot of potential in her!! She might even see a girl who's impatient, prone to rash decisions, and wants to prove herself so badly, and see herself in her. which is something that's only just occured to me but i enjoy the idea a lot so thats where I'll end this.

[hestzhyen]

Kagurabachi, Family, and Abuse

(This is kind of heavy, so please take care if you choose to read.)

I can't stress enough how much I love Kagurabachi for it's nuanced takes on complicated issues. Legacy, abuse, trauma, and the people involved in these cycles- very sensitive stuff that should be handled with great care. So this manga taking the time to examine issues with delicacy is surprising for an action series where the MC and his foes lose limbs on the regular. The Rakuzaichi arc won me over heart and soul because of how it tackled abusive families in particular.

I don't think it's controversial to say that leaving your abusers behind to focus on yourself is a key part of healing. But when family is involved, that component tends to get scrambled or lost entirely. Somehow if it's a relative or a sibling or a parent, the situation is changed. The victim should try harder to work things out. The onus is on them to find out what's wrong and fix it somehow; become less vulnerable. Even the most saintly, well-meaning ally can fall into the trap of telling the victim that blood-related abusers somehow deserve extra grace. They're abusers but they're also family, after all. Families love each other and good intentions should mean a lot.

We see it all the time in media too. A parent lashes out in anger. A sibling destroys precious, irreplaceable mementos. A cousin bullies and their parents do nothing. Blood relations hit and hurt and do awful things. But family is family at the end of the day, so they come together to heal with tears and apologies. Everyone is suffering in some way but it'll be okay if they stick together and work through the pain. Pan out, roll credits.

Obviously the Sazanami clan was far more skewed towards villainy than what we see in the real world. But the extra context given to Kyoura right before his death humanized all of them. They were abusers who were trapped in the cycle by misguided devotion to familial duty. And now that the cycle is broken, the family has their chance to heal. Braidbro was told to help the little kids and honor Tenri's sacrifice by letting them avoid his fate, so hopefully they manage it. No more slavish devotion to the auction above familial bonds. They can come together with tears and apologies and work towards a better future.

Yet Hakuri won't be there to see it.

In another series, he might have stayed to help after working with Chihiro proved he was strong enough to stand on his own. Hakuri could have rebuilt the family with a new purpose since he's the first since the progenitor to naturally inherit the subspace sorcery. He'd have the clout to do it, being the only one able to ensure business returns to normal. He even landed the killing blow on Soya to prove his resolve and signal a shift in the family's status quo. It would have been even more vindication for him to go from family embarrassment to patriarch, and who doesn't love it when the underdog comes out on top? He could be the one to fix things! But taking over the family would have truly been a bad end for him- proof that he was still trapped.

Because what could possibly make up for what Hakuri endured all that time? No amount of crying and saying sorry and promising to do better heals an abuse victim. Braidbro and Sazasis could make sure he's waited on hand and foot for the rest of his life but the damage was done long ago. The emotional pain lingers far longer than the broken bones and torn skin. Even if Soya was the only one going so far as to use peelers and pliers on him, Hakuri was abused by all of them. They all agreed -implicitly or tacitly- to ostracize him and give him the worst jobs. We saw him getting ganged up on to be kicked and gut-punched. Kyoura wasn't the only one to deliberately look away. Hakuri's torture was a family affair.

So to see him walk free of it all makes my heart soar. Because Hokazono fucking gets it. The victim shouldn't be on the hook to lead the reform effort once the situation is exposed. They shouldn't even have to participate in group therapy. In order to truly heal, they need to leave. And Hakuri choosing to do so was framed as the best possible thing he could have done in the moment, thank god. No "but they're still family" guilt tripping from the author here. Hell, Hokazono even went out of his way to make sure Shiba gave Hakuri a clear out. Fuck rehabilitating abusive families thanks to the victim's hard work. Fuck glorifying victims becoming irreproachable ubermensches to stop "inviting" abuse. And a flying fuck off to giving the family the benefit of the doubt by waiting around to witness the improvement process. Hakuri is finally free to move on without looking back, as is every victim's right.

Kagurabachi went above and beyond my expectations for having this be the culmination of his arc. I was a bit worried that a story so strongly focused on family bonds would fall into the same pitfalls as many before it. I've been burned by authors mishandling familial abuse with "family above all" messaging way too many times. But we saw that dumbass mindset blatantly and thoroughly deconstructed into fine particulate matter at the end of the Rakuzaichi arc. And it's really sold me on Hokazono's ideals and storytelling in a way that the Sojo arc didn't.

This manga is more than just flashy sword fights and considering how best to honor and interpret family legacies now. Sometimes, families and their legacies are in fact too toxic to be allowed to continue. And thank god the abused kid doesn't have to be the one to help the family fix their shit after it all comes crashing down. I hope future arcs continue to showcase this level of sensitivity and care for the different types of pain the characters are going through.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

The Werther Project: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Dean's worst fears come to light when he and Sam mess with something that shouldn't have been messed with in the first place.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

For the past week, Dean has been trying to practice using your magic. You haven't come back to the Bunker since you left the cabin in Des Moines, and he doesn't really care. You're not here which means he gets to practice without you knowing he has your magic. The best place to do that is in the backyard you made. No one is around to enjoy it so it's become a breeding ground for magic.

Dean looks around the destroyed backyard with a sigh. The basketball net is shredded, Sam's garden looks like a car ran right through it, and the wooden gazebo is in pieces on the ground. If Dean continues this way, he will destroy everything else. Dean creates a ball of blue magic between his hands and tries to hold it but it shoots out of his hand and to the ground. Instead of the ground absorbing it, it bounces back and hits him square in the face.

"Fuck!"

"I take it it's not going well?" Sam asks.

"I don't know how Y/N did this. It's so damn hard!"

Dean conjures a ball of magic again and tries to lift Maryann's playset up but all it does is explode next to the swings, causing bits of hard plastic to go everywhere.

"Great," Dean scoffs.

"Have you tried reading the journals and books about the Sapphire Witch?"

"Yeah, I did. Multiple times. It's completely useless because I don't understand how easily it came to them. God, I wish Y/N was here to help me," he sighs sadly.

"Well, I got a lead on the book." When Sam told Dean he didn't destroy the book, he was pissed but it's the only thing that is going to help you so he's grateful that it's still here. "I'm going to talk to Rowena. She might be able to help."

"I don't like bringing this to her."

"The only other person who can decode it is Y/N but she'll destroy it. So, Rowena is my plan."

"Just go," Dean sighs. "I'll try not to destroy much else."

When Dean is alone again, he thinks back to some of your most magical times, one of them being this backyard. Magic looks easy when you're the one who was doing it. If you can create twelve of you to fight Cas then he can do a simple levitation spell. He doesn't need to be an expert on this, just enough to take you down. He takes a deep breath and tries again.

Rowena agrees to meet Sam at a restaurant only because she wants something. Sam gets there first and takes a seat in the back. Rowena strolls in moments later all doled up like she's going someplace fancy.

"Samuel," she grins and sits across from him.

"Rowena. I know you know we have the book."

"Yes, I do, but my help does not come for free."

"As I suspected. What do you want?"

"There's only one thing you could possibly do for me that I can't, at least presently, do for myself. Kill my son. He's expecting it from me. He already has his stinking minions on high alert. If you're wondering how a mother can get to the point of wanting her own son--"

"No, I'm really not," Sam cuts her off. "I'll do it. I'll kill Crowley. First things first, can you read the book?

"Of course I can. Besides the Scarlet Witch, I'm likely the only witch alive who can understand such old, dark magic. Just not in its present form. Allowing me to look at this book is bold even for you. I'm your mortal enemy. I've tried to kill you, your witch, and your brother as recently as last month. You wouldn't have come to me if I wasn't your last resort. You're desperate. You can stop pretending you're not. Now, I can't read the book in its present form, but there is someone who could. Nadya. Grand Coven witch."

"Where do I find her?"

"You don't. She's dead. Long ago. Murdered for her life's work. Her decryption formulas and her codex are what you can find. Bring me Nadya's codex, and I'll break this text right open and give you your cure."

"Where do I look?"

"If I were you, I'd start at home. Who do you think murdered Nadya and stole the codex in the first place?"

"The Men of Letters. I'll be in touch."

Sam heads back to the Bunker only to find Dean asleep in his room. You're still nowhere to be found but he can't care about that. He knows how hard this has been for Dean so he has to find this cure as fast as he can. You're his best friend. He'd do anything for you. Plus, the longer you go without your soul, the more it's going to hurt when you finally do get it back. Sam finds a bunch of stuff in the storage room that he moves into the library. Inside one of the boxes is an audio tape reel. He doesn't want to wake Dean so he plugs headphones in and listens to it.

"Please, let's come to order. Men of Letters meeting minutes--May 16, 1956. On the matter of Cuthbert Sinclair's expulsion."

"This is hardly your first offense, Cuthbert. You've been cited for disciplinary infractions seven times in the course of your tenure. This enchanted vault of yours, this Werther box has a warding so potent it achieves a theoretical rate of, in your own words, ninety-eight percent lethality."

"Extreme measures were warranted. The Coven is desperate to get the codex back. The Werther box works," Cuthbert explains.

"All too well, I'd say. Working in secret, embarking on this project without oversight left two fellow Men of Letters vulnerable to your most potent magics. Fletcher and Martinez were members in good standing. Fletcher chanced upon the box and died in two hours. Martinez heroically tried to shut it down. We found him dead on the floor beside the box, his wrists cut," Markham says.

"I already apologized for that accident. I refuse to do so again. Why are you all so small-minded? Hmm? We were brought here to do great things, to take risks, and to bring the fight to the monsters of this world. Yet, to a man, you choose instead to molder in these stacks. You are not men. You are NOT men. You're librarians, nothing more."

"Before we rule on what is to be done with you, I'm prepared to give you a chance to secure our leniency. Tell us how to shut it down. The box is still in St. Louis with the codex. It's still a danger."

"Let me tell you what you can do with your leniency, Markham. You know, I saw the writing on the wall. I knew you cowards would shut this project down, which is why I built it the way I did. There is only one way to silence the Werther for good. Let's just say Martinez was on the right track. I doubt you lot have the guts but you're welcome to die trying."

A door slamming sounds and Sam can only imagine Cuthbert left the room.

"Markham, would you have us keep trying?" another man asks.

"The box is to be interred and guarded where it stands, in perpetuity. Bury it."

Sam turns off the tape and looks through the records where he finds the Men of Letters headquarters in St. Louis. He takes out his phone and calls Rowena. It takes three rings but she eventually answers it.

"I was in the middle of taking my nap, Samuel. I'm over three hundred years old. Beauty sleep isn't optional."

"I've been looking into the thing we discussed. I got a lead, but it's guarded by a violent enchantment. I need a spell to break the spell."

"The Cabirian invocation. Easy to obtain. Good all-purpose disenchantment."

"Great. Thanks."

Sam is about to hang up but Rowena speaks again.

"It's not recommended for amateurs. In inexperienced hands, the invocation has a way of fizzling out. I could come. You might need me."

"I'll take my chances. Thanks," Sam says and hangs up.

"What are you taking your chances on?" Dean asks when he walks into the library.

"I got a lead on the codex. Are you up for it?"

"Give me ten."

Sam and Dean travel to St. Louis and pull up to a run-down-looking house. The white paint is chipping on the outside of the house, the yard is overgrown with weeds, and there are piles of newspapers sitting on the front porch.

"So, you want to do this or shall I?"

"Wait here."

Sam gets out of the can and walks up the porch steps, careful for the one step that's bowing in. He doesn't think anyone is living in this place so he doesn't bother knocking. He tries to look into the window on the door but there is a curtain closed so he can't see much. He takes out his lock pick and tries to use it but the barrel of a gun comes out of the letter box and whoever is on the other side is pointing it at his pelvis.

"Bad idea."

"Whoa! I can explain!"

"Yeah, don't bother. You have three choices: get arrested, get your bits blown off, or get back."

"I think I'll get back."

"Attaboy."

He walks back to the car and looks at Dean with wide eyes.

"Yeah, she threatened to shoot me in the dick."

"Really?" Dean chuckles.

"Dude."

"Alright. From what I gathered from Google, this family moves into this long-vacant house. One week later, three of them were dead at their own hands. The whole family was wiped out except for the daughter, Suzie, whose house is still under her name. I'm figuring she's the one who nearly unmanned you back there."

"Yeah, well, this long-vacant home used to be a Men of Letters chapter house. Remember Magnus?"

"You mean the dickwad ex-Men of Letters that tried to make a zoo exhibit out of me and YN? Yeah."

"Before he was expelled, he built Werther, a magical box with a deadly alarm system. Werther is buried somewhere in this house. It was supposed to have been guarded, but I'm guessing that plan went out the window when Abaddon massacred the entire membership in '58. The house stayed in limbo until some lucky family bought it. Werther's a time bomb and it needs to be defused. Not only is this in our wheelhouse, it's our responsibility."

"Our responsibility?"

"We're Men of Letters. It's our legacy."

"Alright. Different plan. She's only seen you. You sneak in the back and find it while I distract her. Think you can manage that?"

"Yeah," Sam rolls his eyes.

Dean walks up the porch steps to the front door and knocks while Sam runs to the back without being seen. He looks down at the letterbox, remembers what Sam said, and covers his dick with his hands as if that will stop a bullet. The door opens and a woman steps out with a gun pointed right at Dean.

"What did I say?" Dean squeaks when he sees the gun and looks at her with wide eyes. She frowns when she sees it's not Sam and looks around. "You're not.... Fella tried to.... What do you want?"

Shit, say something. Anything. Anything will do. Just say words.

"You saw him? Oh, tell me you did. I'm sorry, but my name is Dwight Twilley. I'm with the neighborhood watch. We're looking into a few recent break-ins, and if you saw the guy it would be mighty helpful if you gave a description. If I could--if I could just have a minute of your time?"

Dean steps into her home and squeaks out the word "time" but clears his throat to keep his composure. She looks around and closes the door before joining Dean in the living room.

"Tall, white fella. Pretty hair."

"Right. It's a nice house you have here, uh..."

"Suzie."

"Suzie. Do you live here alone?"

"Just me and Gus."

"Gus?" Suzie raises her gun in response. The kettle begins whistling in the kitchen so Suzie walks over to it with Dean following her. "So, all alone in this big house, huh? Must get lonely even with Gus."

"Yeah, well I'm used to alone."

She pours herself two cups and puts two tea bags in them. She offers a cup to Dean but he shakes his head politely. With her back turned to him, Dean looks at the back door and sees Sam trying to break into the basement door. If he's going to hide something as big as a Werther box, it'll be in the basement. He gets the lock open and gives a thumbs up to Dean.

"No, thank you."

"Been alone here since, uh, '80? After my family died, my Aunt Pauline moved in. She took care of me and raised me for a few years."

Dean hears something move in the basement and he coughs loudly to cover up the noise.

"So, what happened to your aunt?"

"I told her not to go in the basement. No one goes in the basement."

"What's in the basement, Suzie?" She looks out the window with tears in her eyes. She turns back to the kitchen counter and grabs a knife. "Ma'am you okay?"

She immediately turns and points her gun at Dean who backs up in fear.

"Oh! Whoa! Suzie!"

"My social skills may be rusty but I'm no idiot. The doorbell hasn't rung in months, and two visitors in one hour? One breaking in, and the other asking all sorts of questions about..."

"I told you, I was from the neighborhood watch."

"Yeah, yeah, neighborhood watch. Right. Boy, have you seen this house? There's only one thing in here worth getting at, and it sure as hell ain't me. You came for the box. Whoever left that Godforsaken thing down there.... I knew someday, someone would come for it. I swore never to let that happen. He's downstairs isn't he?"

Well, the gig is up.

"He's my brother, and we're here to help you."

"You call him up here. Now! You call him up here! Now!"

"Sam! Sammy!" Dean yells. "She wants you up here, now!"

Suddenly, a loud boom sounds from the basement that terrifies Suzie.

"No... No! Get out! Get out! Out! Out! You bastards!" Suzie rushes Dean toward the front door with her gun trained in front of her. He stops by the front door and looks at her who has tears in her eyes. "You let it out!"

Both he and Suzie look toward the stairs where there is a bright green mist. It flies all around the duo before entering their bodies through their eyes. Both of their eyes are yellow-green as the mist takes control of their minds.

"Dean!" Dean blinks and his eyes return to normal. "Dean!" He sees the gu in Suzie's hands and puts his hands up as he joins his brother's side. "Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy."

"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Put the gun down. We can talk about this, okay?"

Something passes by the brothers from behind and Suzie's eyes go wide.

"What was that?" She looks at something between the brothers with fear in her eyes. "Oh, my God."

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know."

"Stay back. Stay back!"

"Go!" Sam and Dean jump out of the way just in time for Suzie to shoot her gun at her bookshelf. She must be seeing something that isn't there. "What are you doing, huh? You don't have a plan. You don't have a defense."

"No!" Suzie yells from her office door.

"Suzie!" Sam yells and leaves the living room to head to the office.

x

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[deng-yi-deng]

Cdrama: what I watched 2024

This year I got suuuuper picky and also pretty much stopped watching cdramas. Will this be my last wrap-up post ever? Tune in next year! Normally I keep a running draft review going that I can just post at the end of the year, but this year I forgot - which really signals my waning interest in cdramas generally - so my reviews are kinda vague.

No shade to folks who loved the big popular romance dramas but I completely gave them a pass. As a result, I had a great drama year - nothing under a 4/5 for this viewer!

Best drama this year: Heroes 天行健 (2024). Y'all slept on this one. Watch it now!! Even better than JoL2. Yes, you heard me. Shoutout to @lyxurious for reccing it to me. She has the best taste 💜

Mostly spoiler-free reviews of what I watched in the order I saw them under the cut

Follow Your Heart 颜心讥 4/5 (iQiyi)

(score includes extra credit for LYX bias)

Easy-watching, low-stakes, funny, and sweet. If I'm honest, one of the better plotted dramas that Luo Yunxi has been in. You know him as the beautiful crier, but his rom-com is not to be trifled with. Luo Yunxi is great as Jiang Xin Bai, the face-blind detective, but I was so happy to see Song Yi (Yan Nan Xing) in something where she wasn't playing a helpless girl or demure lady. It's the most enjoyable role I've seen her do apart from RuoRuo in JoL. Her comedy chops are also very solid, and she and Xixi were very cute together. The plot does falter a bit in the last 3/4 and slows down as they focus on the other couples, but then picks up and ends happily. Some great comedy characters - Jiang Xin Bai's mom is hilariously over the top - and fabulous performances by guest actors who play "Yan Nan Xing" when she shape-shifts. Also some good fight scenes! This is one I'd re-watch to de-stress.

Judge Dee's Mystery 大唐狄公案- (4)?/5 (Youku, Netflix)

Overall good, with movie-quality visuals, but I was disappointed by the last two mysteries which were simple and lacked oomf - I think the drama was split into two parts due to the new <40 rule, which would explain the fall off in momentum. As such I'm going to reserve a rating until the second half drops. Some of the individual mysteries - especially the one with Zhang Ruoyun - were fabulous. Acting was great from all the leads - don't believe anyone who tells you Ma Rong was annoying, she was not. The gender swap the writers did for that character totally worked for me. And I absolutely bought Zhou Yiwei as Di Renjie (though tbf I've only seen the Detective Dee movies).

Looking foward to s.2 (or part 2 however you want to count it)

Joy of Life 2 庆余年 4.5/5 (iQiyi)

Lots more people have reviewed or commented on this so I will be brief - I enjoyed the focus on politics and the machinations of the emperor, so this season really worked for me. I also thought Wu Xingjian did a great job as Yan Bing Yun, taking over from XZ. I loved the interactions between Fan Xian and Wang Qinian, adorable. There was one scene where the emperor and Fan Jian were talking/ploting/negotiating and the dialog and acting were so aaagh. so clever. I was kicking my feet and squealing. It is nice when a drama does not assume its audience is stupid. And of course we can't forget the 'power point' Fan Xian and Fan Si Zhe give about treasury bonds. Worst part: Uncle Wu doesn't show up until nearly the end ;_; looking forward to LOTS of Uncle Wu in s.3

Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 To the West 唐朝诡事录·西行 4.5/5 (iQiyi)

Better than season 1 in production quality but particularly in terms of the mysteries themselves. Where s.1 gave us Scooby-gang like "the demon is just a guy in a mask" solutions, the mysteries here have a bit more to them, and plenty of cultural interest as they journey farther into the west, ending up in Dunhuang! Lu Lingfeng and Su Wuming still have unbeatable chemistry, but I feel like LLF got the spotlight a bit more this season. I love them both, but hope my man Wuming doesn't get the short end of the stick again. Let's please not forget who the disciple of Di Renjie and all-around genius is?

S.3 they should head back to Chang'An and maybe??? get back to the original mystery of who is the worst royal in the capital!

Heroes 天行健 5/5 (Tencent, YouTube)

Some of the best and most entertaining storytelling in a cdrama that I've watched. The setting at the very end of the Qing, with the turbulence and uncertainty works perfectly to explore the question of who really is a hero, and for whom. And the fights! There are so many!! sometimes more than one per episode!!!! The characters are well written and well-acted. This drama cements Qin Junjie as one of my favorite actors now (having previously only seen him in Fox Volant). Also one of the few guys who can rock the queue and still be handsome. We follow three groups of characters as they try to find the pieces to a puzzle that will lead them to a treasure. One group is the old guard (royalty, the establishment), one the outsiders of the jianghu, and the third are the rebels - the new China. The stories and character relationships are woven together really well, and the pacing of each episode pushes you forward to the next, always wondering what will happen. I seriously did not think they could keep each episode as interesting as the last but they did - with twists that were surprising, but logical in hindsight. Each 'hero' is trying to find their place in the world and do what they think is best for their people - by following the rules, by breaking them, and by making new rules. It's as much a competition between philosophies as it is between individual groups or individual people. This drama is intelligent, but first of all it's entertaining. It understands exactly what it is and what it's trying to do and is very self-aware. Please please pay special attention to the opening credits because they change...(also kudos to the composer who so ably channeled Enrico Morricone when necessary.)

I Am Nobody 异人之下 4.5/5 (Youku, YouTube)

Though this came out in 2023 I didn't manage to watch it until the end of the summer (2024) and I'm glad I did. Pure fun. Hilarious, great concept and characters, well done all around. It gave me major KO One flashbacks - mostly because of the style of humor and the focus on 'teenagers' - but was completely it's own thing. Great characters with sweet and sometimes heartbreaking backstories. Bao Bao you deserve all the hugs forever 😭.

Highly recommended if you enjoy fun comic book style fights, clever storytelling, and slightly sophomoric humor with lots of heart.

Dramas I dropped:

Not as many this year, since I didn't even try any of the big popular idol dramas. Eternal Brotherhood lost me around the 2/3 mark but I can't explain why! It had a great plot, and I love Yang Xuwen, but maybe I just got distracted? When the second half comes out I'll probably try it again.

Kill Me, Love Me had a spectacularly plot-packed first couple episodes and then they put on the brakes. That kind of uneven pacing, and focus on secondary characters led me to drop around ep 9. Which was sad because I like all the actors and the plot seemed good, but I lost interest.

[ravetillyoucry]

PUPARIA

Chapter 22 - Flyaway

prev - chapter 1

Jules held the flesh on her thigh in a tight squeeze with one hand, the other in her mouth as she bit down. The first shot of the day was always the worst.

"Y'know..." The girl's eyelashes looked especially long as she kept her gaze down at the needle, "Isn't one a day the regular, recommended dosage? You have what, three? I mean... Is that really necessary?"

She was used to it by now. Size-shifting wasn't something Jules particularly ever wanted to associate herself with. It was a part of her that she hated more than anything. To be seen as a spectacle on one end of the spectrum, to be perceived from every angle, or to be defenceless and weak on the other end, invisible to anyone who didn't care to take extra notice. A minority within a minority, with the ability to shift to both. The best of all three worlds, and Jules couldn't bear it.

She hummed as she wiped her saliva off on one of the towels, "I'm not a regular person. But, I can't let anyone see me that way. You're.. Lucky enough you even know. Little shit."

The shifter hopped down from the bathroom counter, pulling her tights back up just to bounce around the penthouse trying to find her other shoe- not before running her hands through the equally as long brown hair of the girl first, of course. She leant against the frame of the bathroom door as she watched Jules stumble around for a moment, the shifter mumbling under her breath all the while.

"Julie.." She sighed, "You should go easier on yourself. It's not healthy to hold back like this. I mean.. You know.. You see-"

"Yeah, I see Hosah. You know half the time he's not even stuck, he just does it on purpose for attention. That's all it is with him, he needs something, anything to make people feel bad for him. I'm not like that. Elaine, I'm not like that."

"I wasn't gonna say that." Elaine spoke, running her own hands through her hair this time.

The shifter paused. She tilted her head, thought for a moment, and laughed, "You're right. It's just... The other night, I feel like.."

"You were too mean? Again?"

"I wasn't mean enough. God. You don't get it, I can't deal with him. Just.. Pathetic. Absolutely. He's not even fucking qualified. He's not! Not a single college credit." She stopped for breath, scoffing at her own train of thought as she shook her head, "I... It's not like I'm gonna let him go though. It sucks. I can't stand him. But I can't do it."

Elaine turned her back to the shifter, busying herself with her toothbrush and toothpaste, her voice echoing across the tiles of the bathroom, "And you can't stop talking about him either. If you hate him, why are you so attached to him? I don't get it."

"Cmon, El, you know he's like my brother. Just..." And just as quick as she took to attacking him, she came to his defence.

"No 'just'. You're both as bad as each other. It's why you deserve each other. The perfect pair."

Jules scoffed, pulling on her other shoe as she headed towards the door, "God, please. We're nothing alike. I mean, I have self respect, that's something."

"Sure you do." Elaine listened for the unlocking of the front door, and that same 'Goodbye, I love you' that was said every morning, on queue. "Bring back something for dinner on your way home."

"Yeah, yeah." The shifter rolled her eyes, the smile on her face dropping as soon as she shut the door behind her.

She huffed. The bicker her and Hosah had a week or two back still played on her mind. The things she should've said, and even the things she shouldn't have. Bringing up Chris was a low blow, but bringing up all the clubs they weren't allowed to get into however, was quite the proportional one. Despite how badly she wanted to humiliate Hosah, she knew he and Teddy were different. She knew this wasn't a casual fling that'd pass by with the seasons, with no hard feelings regarding to the fact she was probably the reason things didn't work out. He'd never forgive her if she fucked with their.. whatever it was they had going on.

She still stood by what she said. They'd gone through most of the shit together, and look at her. She wasn't in therapy, she wasn't being stalked and preyed upon, despite that probably being entirely out of his control, and she certainly wasn't letting it all get to her. He only suffered for pity, she suffered to become stronger. That was the difference between the two of them. Maybe to anyone else, he had the right to be a miserable shit, but to her, well, he wasn't any more worth than what came of his uncle. A stain in the carpet, even less than that.

He was infuriating. All Jules wanted was to send him back to butt-fuck nowhere Colorado and let him rot under the care of some poorly paid care workers for the rest of his life. Have someone with nothing else better to do sit around and talk to him like a pet, since that was probably all Edward was in it for. That was what pissed her off the most. How he didn't hate the way they all treat him. He was barely human in their eyes, and how he didn't see it, she'd never know. He needed Jules, and hell, Jules even needed him sometimes too. He's naïve, self destructive, and honestly, he was incapable. But she understood. She knew exactly what to do, what would help him, but he was too blind even to see that. Jules gritted her teeth as she stumbled her way out of the elevator door, trying to calm herself in order to at least appear somewhat presentable for the meeting ahead of her.

It wasn't often her dad called her about anything at all, and his sudden curiosity regarding the agency, his business, was something that worried her, to her core. It was this type of thing she had nightmares about. That he'd finally have enough of paying for the building, paying the wages, and he'd pull the plug. The agency started because of Jules, to protect her and those alike. There was a type of responsibility, an obligation she had to keeping everything sound and steady. As hard as she tried to come off as uncaring or cold, she couldn't help but care deeply for the cause. She might not be able to embrace her curse, but those with no other choice didn't deserve half the shit they got. Not many other shifters had the privilege of being able to shoot up somatotrophin three times a day, and Jules had to use that to her advantage.

Jules didn't really think back on the reason she even recruited Hosah in the first place all that often. He had such a way with words, no, with other shifters. He could get anything out of them, all he had to do was shrink down to their level, or perch himself in their palm, and it'd come spilling out. She watched it happen before, in the facility, it was why he was a favourite. Not only would he cooperate, being the obedient little shit he was, but he could get others to do it too. It made her sick to watch, but she knew when her father dipped from the agency, that it'd be plentifully convenient.

-~-

This was it, the final straw. The pair had come close to certain danger with how Scotty had convinced them it was absolutely necessary to go back and check Hosah's old apartment, and Teddy wasn't prepared to risk it again. He knew they shouldn't have gotten into the car the moment the engine started, and it was only with a stroke of luck that they were able to weasel out of it.

Hosah wasn't a doll, or a precious piece of glass that risked cracking and shattering if not handled correctly, he knew that. He knew Hosah had done just fine without him before, and he'd probably do just fine without him if he were to disappear into thin air overnight, but the obligation Teddy felt to protecting the shifter was strong, the feeling overpowering all logic his brain could muster up.

He didn't really think before he spoke all that often, not nowadays, not around Hosah, at least.

"I love you." Teddy didn't even realise what he'd said until he'd heard it himself, coming out of his own mouth. "I just... thought you'd like to know, since things have been weird lately."

Teddy spent the majority of his childhood in isolation. There wasn't much of anything to do once classes were over, and although he was constantly surrounded by people, none of them really wanted to talk to him. He didn't know what exactly he'd done wrong, and it ate him alive. Sometimes he'd stare at his own reflection and wait for the swarm of cicadas or the three aliens stacked upon eachother to come crawling out from under his skin, but they never did. That was what bothered him so badly, this was him. There was no other land he could return to where there'd be others of his kind, waiting with open arms, the truth was, Teddy was a human, whether he liked it or not.

Socialising with his peers felt a lot like the choir practices the church would make everyone participate in twice a week, except, Teddy was always just slightly out of tune. He knew it, everyone else knew it, and despite how much he turned the pegs of the cello he'd practice playing until his fingers bled, it'd always sound ever so slightly off. Instead of making it obvious, Teddy found it'd be easier to keep his head down, to not draw attention to himself, and that became an excruciatingly difficult task by the time he hit puberty and grew a foot taller.

The rules that came along with being a human being weren't something Teddy completely understood, even now at twenty six years old, but he knew even less when he was half his age. Teddy questioned the ideas and stories presented to him as fact, especially in school, especially when it came to the teachings of the bible. He didn't get it. He didn't get why his peers would give him dirty looks when he walked past them in the hallway, he didn't get why God would make him in such way that made him unloveable, unable to be saved, stuck in the stagnancy of his own desires, afraid that even acknowledging such things would make them too loud, too obvious, that God, or worse, his peers would know.

It took Teddy an embarrassingly long time to accept the fact he was gay. It took him even longer to pull his head out of the sand and act upon his darkest, best kept secret that was his sexuality. For a while he just thought he didn't have the ability to love someone, not like that. He loved many things with the whole of his heart, he loved feeling the sun on his face, even when it'd get in his eyes and give him a headache from the squinting, he loved cold breezes in the early winter that'd nip at the tips of his nose and ears, he loved fresh pastries in the morning on his way to work, and he loved making small talk with the cashiers even more than that, especially when he could tell with their shifting expressions that he'd brightened their day, even just slightly.

Hosah was the first person he could say with confidence that he was in-love with. He loved the idea of certain people, the prospect of them twisting and converting into the idealised versions of themselves that Teddy had invented and interacted with in depth in his head, but Hosah was different. He didn't find himself wishing certain behaviours or traits upon him, even the parts of the shifter that weren't at all desirable or even likeable, they weren't fixed in the mental image Teddy created of him. Maybe it was because Hosah was so unapologetic about who he was. He wished he could be like that. That Hosah cried in front of him, that Hosah lounged in his palm like there was nothing else in the world but the two of them, that Hosah leant into the brushing of the same hand through his hair. Teddy wished he could've done all those things at once. He wished he could've lifted the shifter up towards the light and said, is this such a sin? If God saw them both, if God saw the gentle cradling of his own creations, if he saw the way Hosah's face flushed, one cheek redder than the other depending on which side he'd slept on, when he'd first awake in the morning by Teddy's side, the love he feels being so powerful that it seeped from his heart and out of his pores, would he change his mind, and allow it just this once? Teddy wasn't sure if he hoped so or not, as an eternity in hell would be more than worth the human lifetime of love and affection he relished in.

What he wished most of all, was that he could tell himself not to care. Not to look at his peers as they snickered and glanced at him for questioning what was put in front of him as fact, to continue playing even if the tune wasn't quite right, and to press his hands against his cheeks as he stared himself down, telling the cicadas- or the aliens, that he knew they were there, and that he loved them dearly.

"I love you dearly." He added, ".. You don't have to say it back. I just.. It's true."

Hosah sat and thought for a moment, adjusting his seat on the desk beneath him. It killed Teddy to know that he'd never be able to look inside of the shifters brain and see what he was thinking. He'd even settle just for a few seconds of watching the cogs turn beneath the flesh of his forehead.

"I never understood that sentiment before, actually." The shifter spoke, nonchalant as ever, "If you love someone, you tell them, unapologetically. And saying it back isn't so hard either. I don't understand why saying I love you isn't something we've normalised already. I mean, no one dislikes being told they're loved, so, I don't get it."

It seemed like he was going on a rant to avoid saying it back after all. Teddy smiled, his crooked tooth being as charming as ever with how it hung over his lip, just slightly. He really hoped Hosah wouldn't hate him for what he was going to do.

"You know.. I think I'm gonna get lunch with Jeanne today, or, I'll try." Without stopping to hear the slew of words coming out of Hosah's mouth in protest, Teddy got up from his chair, "Uh- tell Thierri I'm sorry I couldn't make it later, 'kay?"

There were no 'if', 'buts' or 'maybes' about it, Teddy was going to get Hosah, and hopefully himself, off of the case. He had no idea why Jules allowed the two to work so closely to such a criminal in the first place, especially when the shifter was being put into such dangerous positions, even going as far as to needing to leave his apartment to avoid an actual serial killer from invading his home, and or killing him. It was cartoonish how messed up the situation sounded, especially when put so bluntly in his head.

Finding Jeanne wasn't too much of a challenge. Maybe if he were in a crowd, sure, but around the office, he was quite hard to miss with his short stature and general boy-ish features, despite the fact he was the eldest amongst the rag-tag team.

Although Teddy could clearly see the experienced detective in his direct line of sight, something kept him from approaching the man. He usually didn't look back at his past and cringe, but god, the embarrassment he felt remembering their previous interactions turned his stomach into knots. He took a moment to clear his throat, swallowing to try get rid of the dry sensation in his mouth, and he bit the bullet.

"Jeanne." Teddy's voice faltered as he called out.

He wondered what it was about the detective that made him as intimidating as he was. Jeanne looked over upon being called with expectant eyes (well, a singular expectant eye), his body unmoving from its position leaned up against the wall. Usually, around this time, he'd be out in the smoking area with Hosah. Maybe that was all it was, Teddy had spotted him in a different place than he'd expected him to be. It wasn't quite his appearance that made him hard to keep your cool around, as he stood at almost a whole foot shorter than Teddy, his face still rather soft in terms of his features, like he'd never finished puberty. It was just.. his aura. Stone cold, calculated, and pungent of fresh coffee. He'd have to ask what cologne Jeanne wore when the conversation topic was less of a serious one.

"...Let's get lunch. I need to talk to you."

For once, Teddy almost thought he saw the man crack a smile at him.

The detective shook his head as he stood up straight, "I already told you, you're fine. I forgive you, in fact. It's okay."

"No, it's.. it's not that. Not that Im not still extremely sorry, but, there's something else I need your advice on." Teddy found himself fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt sleeve, unable to directly look Jeanne in the eye as he stuttered.

"You know how I lost my eye, Edward?"

Teddy braced himself for a tragic, yet inspirational tale that'd heighten his already undying respect for the man, "Ah, no, sir."

"Yeah. I can't tell you either. Signed an NDA." Jeanne gave him a firm pat on the back as he lead the way out of the agency's office building, "You can pick the place, I'm not a fussy eater."

No wonder Hosah got along so well with this guy.

The pair didn't really seem to have much in common besides their care for Hosah. He was the only thing they could really talk about on the journey, and it took most of his efforts and energy for Teddy not to gush or say something stupid. Despite the constant reassurance from Jeanne that he was forgiven for his past mistake, Teddy was still overcome with guilt and embarrassment. It hindered his ability to have a nice conversation about anything other than work with the detective, and it clouded his mind whenever the two were alone together.

It had been months by now, but the memory was still fresh in Teddy's mind. Jeanne had told Hosah, maybe if you were there sooner. He didn't like to think of himself as an overly emotional person, but watching the tears spill down the shifters face without him even realising himself, Teddy just couldn't contain himself. He was ashamed of what he did after that, so much so that he didn't even want to think about it. He wasn't himself in that moment, he was the person he thought he grew from years ago. A person who goes to unforgivable measures to seek justice for those that don't ask for it. The truth was, as a boy, Teddy got into a lot of fights. He was an emotional child, one overwhelmed with the weight of not having a single soul his own age who understood or even spoke to him, and when he saw or heard something he disagreed with in any capacity, he didn't know how to cope with it.

Teddy promised himself to never, ever use his fists against another person, unless in a life or death situation. Hearing Jeanne say those words felt like life or death, and Teddy had no idea what overcame him when he entered that staff room and tried to lay his hands on the detective. He didn't expect Jeanne to be so tough, but he was taught the fact very quickly. That was when Teddy learnt that Jeanne was quite the reasonable person and was very open to issuing an apology once confronted with the weight his words had on the shifter.

Being put on the spot to decide where to eat, Teddy took his superior to a place he frequented in his early days of detective-hood. A family owned burger restaurant in the centre of the city. It was nothing fancy, and the food definitely wasn't anything special, but Teddy really had no idea what type of guy Jeanne was, especially in terms of an ideal lunch. He didn't seem to mind the choice, at least.

"Hm." Jeanne looked over the various screen captures from the forum board that Teddy had printed off earlier in the day, "And Scotty told you to catfish this guy?"

".. Essentially." It was hard to speak clearly with a mouthful of burger.

He slid the papers back towards Teddy from the other side of the booth, "It's so stupid that it might just work. I say go for it, but not on your home computer. At the library or the office. I doubt you know how to go incognito, remove yourself from the grid, become untraceable. Someone down on B-block'll know."

"Yeah.. Yeah. Okay. Right." Teddy fidgeted with the papers between his fingers, trying to slip them back into the folder he'd brought them in as smoothly as possible, and failing miserably. "Well, that's not actually all I wanted to talk with you about.."

He swallowed, hard. Jeanne didn't seem to be the type to blow up with emotions at people, especially in a public space, but Teddy couldn't help but worry. Maybe he'd be offended on Hosah's behalf, and would lecture him on how terribly he misunderstood the shifter and undermined his strength, both mental and physical, and his capability to continue on with the case despite the clear danger it put him in.

"It's, it's the case. I can't let Hosah stay on it, I just.. I know something really, really bad is gonna happen, it's already bad enough as it is, but-"

Jeanne cut him off, reaching an arm forward to rest his hand upon Teddy's, "No, I agree. Completely. I just don't know what the boss'll say about it. I doubt she'll even think twice before shrugging it off as a 'he'll be fine' situation."

"I haven't spoken about it with him yet." Teddy added.

"It's best if you don't. Pin it on the boss, she'll gladly take the fall for it, and shes done Hosah far more dirty before, he'll get over it."

Teddy pulled his arm away, his eyebrows furrowing as he considered the two paths ahead of him. He could either lie to Hosah about knowing anything about him being taken off the case, or he could tell him the truth and face the music of his actions for the greater good. It'd be so unbelievably hypocritical of him to go down the first route, especially after making a point to push Hosah to be honest and open with him about everything, and it'd be even worse in the long run if he'd slip up and reveal it was his own idea all along, not Jules'. At the same time, however, the last thing he wanted was to fight Hosah again. It wasn't right of him to make this choice for the shifter, he was his own person and could decide whether he wanted to stay on board or not, but there was no way Hosah would make the right decision and remove himself from the line of fire headed straight for him.

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"Mhm. She has a meeting today with the previous head of the company, so we'll slip in her office tomorrow to talk about it." Jeanne had already started to get up to go back, having barely touched his food. "And... Don't look so beat up. It's the best thing for Hosah's safety. Even if he doesn't realise it."

And realise it, he didn't.

Once Teddy got back to the office, slightly exhausted from the mental anguish he'd been put through as his mind racked back and forth between guilt and embarrassment, he headed straight for Hosah. He still wasn't quite sure what he was going to do, Jeanne had given him the best advice he could get, but his swelling heart told him otherwise.

"No, no. Dude. I've told you like five times now, they need to be the other colour to stack." Hosah lectured, swatting the giant’s hand away from the card game. Teddy always thought solitaire was, you know, to be played in solitude.

Thierri pushed his chair away from the desk with his head in his hands, “But, I thought it was descending numbers from ten?? Man, I don’t fucking get this game.”

“I don’t know how much more plain and simple I can put it for you!” The sight was certainly one to see, that’s for sure. A shifter, not even the size of one of the cards they were playing with, yelling at Thierri in a similar fashion to how he imagined the stories of doing homework at the dinner table with your dad when described to him.

It took a moment of exasperated sighing in frustration, along with the dragging of a few cards across the desk with all of his might, before Hosah actually completed the game rather quickly, only then noticing the fact Teddy had come back in the time between.

“Oh, hey.” Hosah sounded completely out of breath as he finally god the chance to speak, “You have fun?”

“As fun as work talk gets, sure.” Teddy shrugged, pulling over his own chair to Thierri’s desk, “…Are you having fun?”

Hosah flashed a look of exhausted annoyance before laughing, pinching the bridge of his nose like the morning paper between his pointer and his thumb, “As fun as playing solitaire with someone who’s never even touched a deck of cards gets.”

Right.

[whchenlvr]

hi!! so english is not my first language so idk if i'm writing it right, can i request a eunjang + union boys reacting to reader having a panic attack?

when you’re having a panic attack ;

weak hero x gn!reader

gray yeon

➤ you’d never had a panic attack. he has

➤ when your breathing picks up to the point where you’re hyperventilating, panicked tears begin to stream down your face

➤ gray was supposed to meet you at your house to study at 3, and you watch in agony as the clock ticks to 6. he was never late, and you wouldn’t have worried so much if not for your friend spam-texting you that the union is coming for your school

➤ there’s a knock on your door, but you’re limbs feeling like they’re prickling with sleep. you can’t stand from your spot on the floor no matter how hard you try

➤ thankfully for you, gray knows your lock code

➤ your vision is dotted with black spots, and when gray appears before you, part of you thinks he’s a hallucination

➤ “c-can’t.. breathe…” you manage to choke out, desperation clear in your voice

➤ “okay, sweetheart, it’s okay now. i’m here. you’re going to be okay.” he says in an extremely calm voice, carefully patting your hair down in an attempt to soothe you

➤ it works, and you can feel your pulse calming beneath your skin. you breathe, focusing solely on the feeling of his hand in your hair

➤ “i’ll stay with you tonight, okay? i’m not going anywhere.”

donald na

➤ you’d just gotten off the phone with your neighbor, and they told you that the mailman left your gate open, and your dog got loose

➤ you started to panic immediately, knowing your dog was still young and liked to slip out of his collar. sure enough, you found the fabric on the floor when returning home

➤ you searched until it was dark out, and then you searched some more. everyone you asked said they hadn't seen him, and your anxiety was reaching an all-time high

➤ after the failed search, you had enough sense to make your way to donald's apartment, hoping he might be able to help

➤ donald opened his arms for you the minute he saw your shaking self, and tried to soothe you as your tears stained his shirt

➤ “can you take a breath with me? that’s good, darling.”

➤ it took some more time in his arms for you to calm down enough to speak, and when you told him what happened, donald flashed you an assuring smile

➤ "my guys have gotten lazy. i'm sure they'll appreciate a good game of hide and seek."

➤ sure enough, your dog was returned to you, and you nearly cried with joy as donald hugged you again. "don't hesitate to come to my first next time, alright?"

ben park

➤ when ben finds you curled up in the school bathroom one evening, hunched in on yourself and struggling to breathe, his mind instantly goes to the worst scenarios

➤ he would cup your face in his hands and force you to keep your eyes on him as he breaths with you

➤ “when you’re ready, i want you to tell me what happened.”

➤ once you managed to catch your breath, you told ben all about how you failed a test and dropped nearly a dozen ranks. it shouldn’t have been a huge deal, but this could cost you your chance at a scholarship

➤ you could tell ben was trying to come up with comforting words, but he didn’t care for school as much as you do, so he wasn’t sure what to say to comfort you

➤ “okay, uh, are there retakes available? extra credit?” “no” “then… i’ll help you study for the next one!”

➤ you found yourself smiling, surprised at how quickly ben managed to cheer you up

➤ “are you sure? i know how much you hate this stuff…”

➤ “yeah, but you need me. we will study until our fingers fall off and you’ll get your perfect score. so please don’t worry, okay? i love you.”

jake ji

➤ you never liked to appear weak in front of jake. it wasn’t that you were afraid, you just liked being his pillar. you didn’t want him to ever worry about you

➤ but when news broke about the war between the union and eunjang, you couldn't help it

➤ "jake?" you called, afraid to disturb him but very scared at how hard your heart was beating against your ribs. your stomach felt hollow and useless in your body

➤ he didn't look up, and you were about to leave when you accidentally knocked a bowl off of the counter. it shattered against the floor, and you dropped into a panicked crouch

➤ "don't move, are you o—" he saw your trembling hands and stopped. "y/n, are you okay?"

➤ "i'm sorry, i, it's just a bowl, i'm..." you didn't stop stuttering out nonsense until jake carefully took your hands in his before you accidentally hurt yourself

➤ "what's going on, lovely?" and you broke into sobs

➤ you fell forward into jake's chest and he wrapped his arms around you as you told him your concerns for his safety. "this isn't like the other fights, jake. you could get hurt. you could get killed."

➤ "that's not going to happen," he soothed gently, "you know that's not going to happen." but you didn't stop crying or trembling until you were out of the room and completely in your boyfriend's arms

➤ "y/n, listen. you're going to be fine. i'm going to be fine. so please, don't scare me like that again, okay? we're going to be fine."

gerard jin

➤ you’d just been told by your parents that you were moving across the country for your dad’s job

➤ since your bedroom is on the first floor, gerard has a habit of tapping on your window to visit. when you don’t answer your phone, he decides to go over

➤ he sees you sitting on your bed, back turned to him, and doesn’t think much of it until he hears your quiet sobs slipping between your fingers

➤ “y/n?” he called into the quiet, and you felt yourself break. “they’re taking me away from you, from everything! i can’t—i can’t—“

➤ gerard was by your side in seconds, taking you in his arms and pulling you tight against his chest

➤ “didn’t…” you gasped out, fingers digging into his biceps as you try to calm yourself. “didn’t.. wanna leave.. you,”

➤ “i know, honey, i know.” he kissed your head, letting his lips linger against your hair as you forced yourself to slow your sobs. “but i’m not going anywhere. not now, not ever.”

wolf keum

➤ there was no reason for you to panic, so you weren’t sure why you woke with your heart beating a million miles a second, your cheeks sticky with tears

➤ checking the time, you realized it was only 2 am. you didn’t want to disturb your boyfriend, but your limbs tingled as your breathing sped up

➤ not even five minutes after receiving your jumbled text for help, wolf was in your bedroom and at your side

➤ “what happened. who did this?”

➤ “no, i’m—“ you hit your chest with a flat hand, “panic attack.”

➤ honestly, wolf wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to treat a panic attack

➤ worried you might pass out, he squished your face between his hands to meet your eyes. “slow down.”

➤ you think just having him there with you helped, because the fact that his two rather blunt words were able to calm you surprised you both

➤ you were still shaky, but wolf didn’t make any attempt to smother you. he pulled his hands from your face to instead hold yours and laced your fingers together

➤ “better?” “better.”

[all-souls-matinee]

Quick-bite reviews: V/H/S/Beyond (2024) dir. Jay Cheel, Jordan Downey, Virat Patel, Justin Martinez, Christian & Justin Long, Kate Seigel

I finally decided to stop covering this franchise (last year's '/85' remains unwatched) when '/Beyond' had to go ahead and be pitched as an alien-centric V/H/S with a segment written by my horror enemy Mike Flanagan. I've seen a fair chunk of alien horror movies and never have much to say about them because... they're bad... but I'm always rooting for a good one to come into existence. They're like my now-horrible home baseball team; I KNOW the storytelling optics aren't there, it wouldn't be a problem if we could assemble the perfect cast and crew and have infinite time and infinite money. The original V/H/S actually had a memorable piece of alien horror so that's encouraging? It wasn't good but it was memorable! It was there! My feelings on Flanagan only made for extra incentive; if I couldn't have a good alien horror movie at least I could have another alien horror movie to be performatively mad at.

Mike Flanagan has been forgiven; alien horror has made it to first base.

Beyond is still very much a V/H/S movie so was never going to be my thing, but I think it's successful(!) because every segment understands that the job of a V/H/S movie is to feel like a theme park haunted house. The usual buckets of gore and barf and what have you are coordinated this time around, showman-like. The frame story, notoriously the worst part of even the best anthology horror, re-grounds the aliens when segments stray and is a great example of how to lovingly and effectively mock cable-cum-YouTube documentaries. The creature design and bad acting of the first segment are fun enough, while the second segment is a commentary on Mumbai's Film City that feels like homage to and improvement upon the original V/H/S. The third segment goes crazy; UFO attack on a skydiving plane?? and then aliens with interesting designs chase everyone in broad daylight and rip them apart into Halloween decorations??? That's what we've been waiting for! The momentum is building! Then there's Justin Long's abysmal segment. Most unfunny comedy torture-horror I've ever seen, made me think I was going to have to rate this even lower than past panned V/H/Ses, Saw 18 directed by Doug Walker, etc., etc., until, finally, we lose the haunted house angle and Flanagan takes center stage.

His alien story is so good I didn't want to believe it was him writing it, and so painfully UNBEARABLY Stephen King I knew it couldn't be anyone else. Clever sci-fi concept that does my favorite thing in the world by focusing on the UFO itself, eye-rollingly maudlin over American family values, intentionally funny in places, and scary!!! I said 'no way' out loud when I realized how it was going to end; timed just right, not too early but still well before the protagonist. I'm giving Flanagan so much credit because it's the kind of short story I would've been completely enraptured by as a kid, but on film its function is really thanks to director Kate Seigel and near-solo actress Alanah Pearce. They use their medium (infrared camera!) and place in the framework to full advantage, which is why I'm glad it's a little treat within a schlocky horror anthology instead of a short film in its own right.

Buy a ticket? With these V/H/S reviews I always say 'no it's bad don't watch it unless you already like the franchise,' and THIS time... still no lmao. It isn't quite good enough to merit a recommendation, but that's on high highs and low lows rather than the kind of mediocre stickiness of past entries. If you're interested in going through a haunted house (these things continue to hit right at my limit for gore and body horror) to include one gnarly alien story and one interesting one? You could do worse. Not a home run, but first base. They hit the ball <3

[sarcasticfina]

For the prompts post if you are taking, 13 for buddie 💖

Im so glad to see you on my dash btw

i'm trying to get inspired to write fic so please send me some prompts from either of these sentence prompt lists: one, two (see original post for ship options)

13. Do you ever think we should just stop this? (credit)

It was late, and dark enough that Buck couldn't see much more than the outline of Eddie beside him. He should be sleeping. They had work tomorrow, and Chris had to be dropped off early for that science club he joined. Did Eddie pack his lunch already? They were a little distracted earlier...

In his defense, he hadn't seen Eddie outside of work for like... four whole days. That was a lot for them. Maybe he should double check the fridge. Chris had been snacking more lately. Another growth spurt. He could use an extra pack of carrot sticks or something anyway. Or maybe some of that trail mix he loved, even if he did add mini marshmallows to it, which wasn't exactly the healthiest snack...

"Stop thinking," Eddie grumbled. "Go t' sleep."

"Hey, did you pack Chris' lunch?"

Sighing, Eddie raised his head, hair in disarray, and squinted at him. "Huh? Yeah, I... Before. After dinner, I threw something together. Why? Is that what you're worrying about?"

"I'm not worried. I was just... wondering." Buck shifted around on the bed awkwardly and shrugged. "Did you add extra snacks? He's been eating more lately..."

"Uh-huh." Eddie dropped his head back down to the pillow. "Threw in some carrots and dip and some of that trail mix. Was like half marshmallows; you gotta stop letting him talk you into that."

"It was not half..." Buck rolled his eyes. "Anyway, it's balanced out with all the nuts and raisins and dried apricot."

"Mmm."

Buck drummed his fingers atop his stomach, blanket pulled up to his chest. "Should I go out to the couch? He might have questions if he wakes up before us."

Silence answered him. But not an 'Eddie fell asleep' silence, no. This was tense, 'how do I respond to that?' silence. The worst kind of silence.

"Eds?"

"I heard you. Just... Uh... Do you wanna sleep on the couch?"

Buck frowned at the ceiling. "Not exactly comfortable for my back."

"Okay. Then stay here. I can set an earlier alarm if you want..."

Buck hummed. "I should've planned better. I wasn't even gonna come over. I was going home but then I just... didn't." He glanced in Eddie's direction. "You know, we never really talked about what the like... boundaries are."

"...boundaries," Eddie repeated. "About sleeping over or...?"

"All of it. I mean." Buck shrugged. "We just kind of... started this... thing... and we didn't really talk about it."

"Thing..."

"Historically, I'm the impulsive one, but you're not, so maybe I was expecting you to take the reins on how to handle this. Not that I was planning for us to become this. And it's not all on you, obviously."

"This thing?" Eddie sounded a little amused now and Buck frowned.

"I just don't want to overstep. Or make assumptions. Or... I don't know. I don't want to risk this... us... i don't want to do anything that might hurt Chris."

Eddie didn't respond immediately, and that heavy silence filled the room again. "What are you saying... exactly?"

"I guess..." Buck sat up and shuffled backwards. "I mean, do you ever think we should just stop this? Just go back to how it was before? Before we tried to be... more."

Eddie let out a quiet sigh and then he was shifting to sit up too, his back resting against the headboard. He rubbed a hand over his face. "Okay. First, Chris is fine. He will be fine."

"But how do you know?"

"Because he's Chris. Because he loves us and we love him. Because no matter what happens, I know you will always be a part of his life. Even if, somehow, this thing blows up in our faces, you will always put Chris first."

Buck swallowed a lump. "Yeah."

"And second, yes, we should've talked. Especially if you've been worrying about what we are. Maybe I had more time to figure out how I felt and come to grips with what it meant, I don't know. But... Evan, you're it. You're... I mean, I hope you feel the same way I do. I guess I just thought we were on the same page with how we felt. And now we're together. Boyfriend feels a little high school, but, uh, we've always been partners. Now we're just another version of that."

Warmth bloomed in Buck's chest. Partners. Yeah, that sounded right. He turned to look at Eddie, whose features were still mostly shrouded in darkness. "You're it for me too."

Eddie's shoulders slumped. "Yeah?" His voice was softer, filled with relief.

Buck grinned. "You're stuck with me for life."

Reaching over, Eddie took his hand and folded their fingers together. "Good."

"Sorry I was freaking out."

"You get in your head sometimes; I should know better. In future, we'll work on talking it out instead of waiting until..." He glanced at the old man alarm clock on his bedside table. "Dios, 2 am. Tomorrow's gonna suck."

"Whoops." Buck shuffled down the bed and pulled him along, turning onto his side to rest his head on Eddie's shoulder. He hooked an arm around him, fingers folding around his ribs. "You can sleep in. I'll bring Chris to science club and double back for you."

Eddie mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'I love you so much,' and then pressed a kiss to Buck's birthmark. "Go to sleep, cariño."

Anxiety assuaged, Buck listened.

[schizosupport]

To provide an extra perspective on the psychosis-as-a-positive-thing discussion: We experience psychosis as part of our schizophrenia, but the psychosis (most delusions and I'd say about half of hallucinations? Many of which are connected to delusions--eg., we're a clinical lycanthrope, we experience somatic hallucinations (paws, muzzle, ears, tail, fur, having different organs, feeling that our anatomy on the whole has changed, etc) that "confirm" the delusion) is, for the most part, a neutral or positive aspect of our life. We don't want to lose our CL because it's a comforting force for us, which is the biggest reason why we want to avoid going on antipsychotics. The only real negative part of our psychosis is the occasional negative delusion, some of the hallucinations, and the disorganized thinking/speech.

On the other hand of our schizophrenia (and the reason why we are still disabled and disordered by it), our cognitive and negative symptoms are awful. Our schizophrenia cropped up when we were 14 at the very latest, if not a few years earlier, and we ended up barely making it through high school. The only reason we didn't drop out in senior year was because it was senior year, we'd finished most of our required academic credits (our math credit had been completed in sophomore year), and we got put in classes like photography, personal finance (which has led to us considering getting a degree in accounting because we found out we have a strong passion for doing taxes), creative writing, piano, graphic design, wildlife bio, drugs & their impacts (aka psychopharmacology, fun class run by a great teacher, we had to be told to stop answering questions because our teacher knew we'd been the only one paying attention and so the only one who knew the material she was teaching, now we're annoying about drugs and how they affect the brain, but hey, it's way easier to determine when we're drunk because we know that the brain will trick us into thinking we aren't drunk and can sidestep that) etc etc--all of these classes that were relatively low pressure and that made everything else way easier to deal with. (We also never took the SAT, which probably helped)

Anyways. All this to say. We choose not to go onto antipsychotics because the majority of our psychosis is a positive force in our life, even if a few aspects can cause distress and struggle; it's not enough for us to say the psychosis on its own would be disabling. However, it's part of our schizophrenia, whose cognitive and negative symptoms nearly made us drop out of high school on several occasions, and it is a byproduct of mostly luck and early-completed credits that let us get our diploma. While our psychosis doesn't balance out the negative/cognitive symptoms per se, it does make it easier to cope with on our worst days, where we can just... be a wolf for a while and not have to think about being a person in a world that is, more often than not, scared of us and our symptoms.

Hey there anon! Thank you for this perspective!

Personally I don't have much in the way of positive/nice psychotic symptoms (unless I count my plurality as a psychotic symptom but that seems like a stretch though some psychs have gone there), but I nevertheless relate to the cognitive and especially negative symptoms being the personally most disabling aspect of this disorder for me.

[imekitty]

Jekyll & Phantom!!! (& also Phantomlust)

Oh--oh, someone actually sent an ask, I really didn't think anyone would lol. What were the rules again...

A snippet or something about it, all right!

Jekyll & Phantom

Basically Danny in his senior year is forced to play the lead role in the Casper High production of Jekyll & Hyde because he is failing English and Lancer agrees to give him extra credit to play the part so he can graduate on time. It's set after Phantom Planet so the catch is that he plays Jekyll in his human form and must transform into Phantom for Hyde. The news spreads through Amity Park and the school board is extremely excited about the money they are going to make off the ticket sales for this show. Danny is very opposed to the idea because he does not like the implication that Phantom is his evil half, but he feels cornered because he does not want the whole town to think Danny Phantom is a loser that can't even get a high school diploma.

Phantomlust

This title is a little bit of a joke, I actually don't really know what to call this fic yet lol. I originally called it Art of Seduction after the book I was referencing for it.

Basically, Maddie hires Valerie to seduce Danny Phantom so he'll be easier to take down and capture. But Valerie sucks at seduction and flirting so Maddie, an expert seductress herself, tutors her in the art of seduction. And she expressly directs Valerie to practice on her own son because Maddie is the absolute worst parent ever in all of my fics.

Here's a snippet:

“I’ll see you Wednesday, then,” said Maddie as she started leading the way out of the observatory. She stopped right at the door and turned around. “You know, if Danny’s out in the living room, you could go ahead and try being a coquette with him.”

“Wha—” Valerie balked. “What do you mean? Like try a seduction technique on your son? Here in your own house?”

“Well, why not? You’re going to need to practice.”

Valerie opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “You don’t think that’d be weird?”

“Not at all,” said Maddie. “Plus it’ll allow me to gauge how well you’re absorbing the lessons. Much more convenient for me than if you practiced on some boy I don’t know.”

Valerie looked down at her shoes and rubbed her fingertips. “Well, what… What do I do exactly?”

“Just keep it simple since you’re just starting out,” said Maddie. “You were warm and inviting when you first showed up at the door and he greeted you, right?”

“Yes, of course. He’s my friend.”

“So now when you leave, act cold. When he says bye, give him just a nod or maybe don’t even respond at all, just walk by.”

Valerie felt frozen in place. “But… But I don’t want to do that to Danny! What if I hurt his feelings?”

“That’s the hot-and-cold coquette’s angle,” said Maddie. “You’re going to have to put your conscience aside for this plan to work, you know. You must always think of the ones you’re seducing as victims to be manipulated to your advantage.”

“Okay, I can do that with Phantom, but I don’t want to manipulate Danny,” said Valerie. “I like Danny.”

“Well, I like Danny too, of course. I wouldn’t let you try anything on him that I thought would actually really hurt him.”

Valerie blinked a couple times, too perplexed to speak. She knew Danny’s mother was a bit eccentric but she would’ve never guessed she’d be anything like this.

[overnightshipping]

So I completed Pikmin 4 on Thursday with all treasures, all onions, and all castaways rescued. Basically everything except going back to platinum the Dandori challenges, which I probably don't care about but maybe someday. As promised, I have a lot of thoughts on Pikmin 4.

In some ways, Pikmin 4 is truly the Pikmin game that I have wanted since I originally got hooked on Pikmin and Pikmin 2 on the Gamecube. It is grand, expansive, and polished in a very Nintendo way. It brings back many fan favorite elements from the previous 3 numbered Pikmin games and expands upon them, adding its own unique twists and interesting concepts. It dives further into the society of weird little interplanetary explorers you play as than any previous game, expanding them across multiple planets (since apparently they sure do have a lot of planets). It was a very enjoyable experience and one that I don't find it difficult to recommend.

In other ways, it is a game that in making itself as marketable as possible has lost the charm of Pikmin. It is a game that feels at odds with itself, a game that loses some of the most potent elements that made Pikmin a compelling strategy game. I have seen at least one person liken it to a collectathon platformer moreso than a strategy game, and while I don't think that is completely accurate I think it clearly outlines one of Pikmin 4's biggest, most prevalent problems: the lack of strategy in a strategy game. It's a game that is terrified to punish the player, presumably in an overcompensation for the previous games not selling well and Nintendo thinking it was because they were too hard.

I don't want to make this a full on review, but let me see if I can make some sense of my thoughts under the cut. There will be full game spoilers, both for before and after the credits roll.

The first warning sign for Pikmin 4 was how slow, tedious, and long-lasting the introduction is. In previous games you had a single day of tutorial, giving you the ropes, and often had characters chime in for extra things you needed to learn afterwards, like what different Pikmin types did, but it was never so annoying as 4. 4 makes you go through multiple ingame days where the characters laboriously explain to you everything and admonish you if you try to go off on your own - the games point you directly at the first cave and if you don't go there IMMEDIATELY the game yells at you to do so. Thankfully after a few days it finally gets less overzealous, but damn was it a poor first impression.

Unfortunately, it only gets a bit less overzealous, because the characters do. Not. Shut. UP. In Pikmin 4 you have a crew of rescue explorers (who you save) who just are constantly chiming in from the peanut gallery. All the way into the very end of the game will characters remind you that you have Pikmin sprouts to pluck, or tell you to go attack the enemy's weakpoint, or whistle at Pikmin if they catch on fire, or say "aw man it's so sad we lost so many Pikmin, if only we could turn back time" not-so-subtly hinting at the game's (fine and appreciated for newer players) accessibility feature to rewind to certain points and undo mistakes. By the end of the adventure I wanted to strangle Collin in particular who is the worst offender.

The game chirps these "helpful tips" at you when you are doing the post-credits challenge mode that is explicitly the hardest part of the game! For fuck's sake! I know how the play the game by now!

This brings me to the game's accessibility options, which are much appreciated even if I wish they were less imposed on the player. You can rewind time to an extent if you need to undo things, and if you ever get lost you can get your dog to sniff up a path on where to go next. Now, I wish the game wasn't constantly telling me to use these features I didn't want to use, but I'm glad they are here. Pikmin 4 is definitely the most accessible Pikmin game and I think that is worthy of praise, even if I have some (okay maybe a lot of) gripes on how exactly they were implemented.

Speaking of the dog, I was skeptical about how it would be implemented but I largely really enjoyed Oatchi. He essentially takes the place of having a second captain and it works quite well. The big highlight is that Oatchi has different capabilities from your captain, which means you have to put some additional thought into which character you want where. This is at its best in the nighttime missions, where the captain is the only one who can use the Glow Pikmin's powerful glow bomb blast thing which is an extremely useful tool for dealing with the nastier enemies.

Unfortunately, Oatchi also kind of... is overpowered as hell. The main thing you will use Oatchi for is to carry Pikmin - when playing as Oatchi or riding him as a captain, your Pikmin will all cling to Oatchi's back instead of following behind in a group. This is extremely useful against bosses in particular, since it means you can dodge enemy attacks directly rather than having to manage the horde of Pikmin following you. Because a bunch of the bosses are ported over from Pikmin 1 and 2, this trivializes them in a not insignificant way. Man At Legs is a great example, as it is absolutely pathetically easy in Pikmin 4 since you don't even have to think about Pikmin management, just circle strafe with Oatchi while it's shooting and you'll never lose a Pikmin. This is not even taking into account how powerful Oatchi's charge and carrying abilities get when you upgrade them.

The best bosses in the game, unsurprisingly, are the two Pikmin 4 original bosses that feel actually designed with Oatchi's mobility in mind, the Groovy Long Legs and the final boss. These are also the only bosses that come close to the complexity and satisfaction of Pikmin 3's boss fights, since the game eschews boss encounters tied to going to new areas entirely, which is a damn shame since if it was going to take anything from 3 that would have been a great thing to take.

Speaking of things to take from 3 which I hate, the lock on. It sucks! I didn't like it much in Pikmin 3 but at least there there was still a bit of strategy in needing to aim after the lock on to hit enemies in particular weakpoints, and at least it was manually triggered. In Pikmin 4 you automatically lock your cursor to everything as you pass the cursor by it. This has two effects:

It can be quite annoying to try and get the cursor where you want it, and heaven help you if you want to aim at something which the game doesn't lock onto. For example, Skitter Leafs hide as leaves and then skitter when you approach, but you can instant kill them if you throw a Pikmin on top. Your lock on works when they are revealed, but when they are hiding it doesn't. This means that if you have killed a Skitter Leaf but there are others hiding nearby, you just can't even try to kill the ones that are hiding since your cursor will be locked onto the corpse your Pikmin can carry. This annoyance only happened a few times, but boy howdy is it annoying when it does crop up.

More importantly, it trivializes aiming at enemies. Throwing Pikmin in Pikmin 1 and 2 was a skill you could get better at - if you throw Pikmin near a Dwarf Bulborb, they would attack it, but if you threw a Pikmin directly on top of one they would kill it in one shot. This incentivized getting a feeling for the throwing arc of Pikmin and carefully lining up your shots to kill enemies quicker and safer. In Pikmin 4 you just... lock on automatically, and can throw a Pikmin and kill the Bulborb in one shot and go about your day. This wouldn't be so bad if so many enemies weren't ported over from Pikmin 1 and 2 directly - enemies like Shearwigs, Flint Beetles, and Breadbugs aren't balanced with the lock on in mind and as a result feel impotent. The only thing the game does to acknowledge this at all is make other Dwarf Bulborb types need two or three Pikmin to kill them, which... doesn't help much.

To swing back into things I like: the Pikmin types! The way Pikmin are introduced is reinvented and works really really well. You get Red Pikmin first with their Onion as normal, but after that you will find other colors of Pikmin in caves as wild Pikmin, or with the help of Candypop Buds, and integrate them into your team without having their Onion and thus being unable to grow their numbers manually. However, you can also find each color's Onion somewhere in the world, allowing you to raise as many as you want just like normal. This is really cool! It means that every Pikmin type (except Reds and arguably Yellows) gets a chance to be rare and important, really making you second guess how you approach things in case you lose out on those Pikmin that you might need for other things. This hit home for me when I was doing a cave with Blues and Ices, and was having trouble killing an Aristocrab. I finally killed it, but my Blue numbers had dwindled to the point that I couldn't carry a treasure out. That's cool! I love having to deal with the consequences of my actions. I ended up being put in a situation where I could keep charging forward into new areas and hope that I found more Blues or I could backtrack because I thought I had seen a Blue Onion in an area I was in before but couldn't get to it, but maybe I can now...

The one issue I have with how the Pikmin are given to the player is that the way means they aren't very well paced. Since it is essentially tied to whatever caves the player goes into, it is perfectly possible to get to the credits before even finding every Pikmin type - this happened to me, actually, as I got my first Winged Pikmin post-credits. It's a far fling from the careful metering out of the types in 1-3, but I think it largely works well outside of some pacing issues.

Speaking of pacing, this game really wants to be an open world in some ways, it's kind of silly. The areas are all bigger than normal and, as aforementioned, there aren't mandatory bossfights to get to the next area anymore. Your ability to explore is just tied to the Sparklium you collect, which has its pros and cons. Hell, Pikmin 4 even has a menu clearly riffing on the minimalist approach of BotW for some reason.

Luckily, this mostly works. The areas are great! The caves are also great! Everything feels really satisfying to explore, aided by the cool new feature to move your base to one of several predetermined areas on the map once you have found them (and usually killed an enemy on top of them). It's really fun to be able to take different approaches on each of the maps depending on where you plop down your ship and Onion.

Unfortunately, Pikmin 4 completely whiffs the "exploring a hostile alien planet" theme and tone. Every cave has a little "intro card" penned by Olimar explaining roughly what to expect in it, often spoiling the sense of discover when plunging in. New concepts are similarly explained - in previous games, Candypop Buds are shown to the player, the player is suggested that the Pikmin want to be thrown into them, and so the player tries and, in so doing, discovers what they do. In Pikmin 4, Candypop Buds are shown to the player, and the player gets a little explanation by Olimar and the other characters as to exactly what they do before the player has a chance to experiment. It's a subtle change, but when it applies to much of the game it really stands out.

The planet's hostility is a joke this time around. If you, like me, were a bit underwhelmed at how Pikmin 3 was easier than Pikmin and Pikmin 2, I have bad news: Pikmin 4 is even easier. I wouldn't even have that much of a problem with this if it weren't for one key thing that ruins it for me: enemies never respawn.

This is the single thing that bothers me most about Pikmin 4. In previous games, the choice to continue to explore a single area or go to a different one was one you made thoughtfully, because while your progress would be saved, over time enemies would respawn and you would have to deal with them again. Certain areas would even spawn harder enemies after enough time had passed, meaning that even in Pikmin 2 where there was no omnipresent day-based time limit to the game, there was still an incentive to go quickly - too long and that Snagret would be back, or a Sheargrub would chew up your bridge, or you would have to deal with a Beady Long Legs where one wasn't before.

Pikmin 4 takes this away entirely, which makes the game feel artificial in a way that the others didn't. Where once was a living, breathing world which actively continued on when you weren't looking now there is a bunch of video game levels where you can kill a Bulborb on day one and come back on day fifteen to pick up its corpse for Pikmin sprouts. It sucks, and is even worse in caves. When I went back to that cave from before where I needed to get a treasure but didn't have enough Blue Pikmin, I expected to at least need to fight that Aristrocrab again, to fight it smarter so I would still have Pikmin ready to carry the treasure. Instead it was still dead, its body still right where I had left it, and I just picked up the treasure with no obstacles in my way whatsoever. Where is the challenge, the satisfaction of holding your own against a hostile environment? Where is the friction? This change baffles me.

It's one thing to make a game easier to appeal to a wider audience, but it feels like another to me to make it so easy that you remove the satisfaction from actually besting its challenges. It would be one thing if this was an optional difficulty mode, or something, but Pikmin 4 has no such thing. And this is all on top of the copious ways that the game is made easier for the player optionally, such as the items that you can use to trivialize most enemy encounters.

The OTHER thing that I absolutely hate about Pikmin 4 is that it is a reboot for some reason. Despite being the fourth numbered entry in the series, and despite Nintendo seemingly going out of their way to port the rest of the series to Switch prior to 4's release, Pikmin 4 is a reboot, retelling Olimar's original trip to the Pikmin planet with a lot more shenanigans. I guess they did this because they wanted the whole dogs through-line to be more important to the Pikmin planet's history? It's a strange decision that didn't need to be made, and mostly serves to further make this feel like this is less a game for Pikmin fans and more a game desperately trying to appeal to everyone but.

This is a lot of text complaining about Pikmin 4, but I do want to emphasize that I really did enjoy the game. It might have beaten out Pikmin 3 for my third favorite in the franchise by its quality of content and enjoyable design. I just really truly wish it were more Pikmin and less anything but Pikmin. It feels like Pikmin has lost its character in favor of being a more generic Nintendo family friendly franchise for kids, and that's a shame.

Okay, final random comments, mostly nitpicks:

They brought Smoky Progg back which should really excite me but a loading screen tip spoiled it for me and it shows up so many times - not to mention when it does show up having nothing to do with its unique and fucked up "summoning" in Pikmin - that is dulls the impact for me. Makes me sad.

Puffstool is back but not Mushroom Pikmin??? This is baffling why even bother bringing back a fan favorite enemy if you don't bring back the reason why it was a fan favorite.

I alluded to this earlier but Groovy Long Legs fucking rules, I'm a little sad it didn't get an encore in the final boss rush dungeon. Definitely a highlight moment for me.

It's really silly that the Piklopedia entries basically only make sense if Pikmin 1-3 still happened despite the game obviously being a reboot lmfao. What the hell is a Beady Long Legs or a Ranging Bloyster, Olimar? I've never heard of these before they sound like they are from an alternate timeline or something.

I hate how many enemies just have a bigger version as a miniboss. It feels really unimaginative for Pikmin in a way that really bugs me.

Why did they remove the Pikmin dragging long enemies to the Onion from Pikmin 3, that was suitably macabre in a satisfying way. Carrying a curled up Snagret just isn't the same.

It's funny that they introduced this new baby Snagret enemy but then had like one Snagret outside of challenge rooms.

Purple and Whites finally got Onions and this made me very happy. :) It felt like a good reward for the challenge area. Speaking of the Onion I love it visually in this one, the colored segments look great.

It's very telling of the difficulty of this game in general that the hardest caves BY FAR are the final cave (as a lengthy boss rush thing) and the Waterwraith's cave they ported from Pikmin 2. Which wasn't even a late game cave in Pikmin 2 it was near the middle.

The three Pikmin types at a time felt too stifling to me, a limit makes sense but I feel like they could have made some cool puzzles around 4-5 types at a time. Also three at a time doesn't evenly divide into 100 which is obviously agonizing. Also I really hoped the final dungeon would go crazy and set me up to have every Pikmin type but nah.

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 21: Part 2

If you've read Part 1, welcome and please proceed! If you haven't, what're you doing here? Click here to start from the beginning!

And who else should we run into but our friendly duo? Here at the *checks notes* ...Bad Jungle?! Are you kidding me?

This is one of those things that's a little too on the nose to be believable. But I swear this is legit!

We actually did manage to get through the dungeon first try. Now if it had been the Nonsensical Castle on the other hand-

No I'm not letting that go, it was literally Hell.

Teresa: "...Hey, don't you think it's weird they both skirted around the center of the path just now?"

Andrea: "No? Why would that be weir-"

AH!! WE'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!!

*cue Wilhelm Scream and owie-ow-ow sounds*

...Deepest of apologies for the deep-fried text on this one. I'm afraid it wasn't exactly salvageable. And as if things couldn't get any worse...

THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S YA BOIIIII!!

*rumbling noise*

...Someone just dun goofed.

Southern Beedrill, I love you so much. Welcome back, pal :')

To his credit, though... Totodile takes it and runs with it, demonstrating his commitment to The Bit.

This would be absolutely terrifying if we were unevolved Pokémon without an AoE move. But... you know :D

Although something truly baffling happens when we transition to the battle:

UHHH, TOTODILE?! IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANNA TELL US??

He was genuinely a rock type and everything! I'm honestly at a loss. I've never seen this happen before, and I have no explanation for it.

Also, here's proof this place is called the Bad Jungle. If you even care.

This fight wasn't too bad, actually! One Rare Fossil was all we needed to knock out Tropius, and Blizzard took down almost everyone else. Mewtwo needed an extra hit, but that was no problem. Really, the worst part was facing down the Suddenly-Aron Guildmaster... It went something like this:

Andrea: *repeatedly using Octazooka* Teresa: *repeatedly using Mud Slap and dropping accuracy* Aron: *keeps hitting us anyway and brings both HP bars down to red* Team Heavenly: *has no healing items and begins to nervously sweat*

Thankfully, he finally began missing when it mattered and we triumphed!

"Let's skedaddle, boys!"

"Well, they're certainly good at... skedaddling."

Sureee Linoone, go ahead and play the innocence card! I'm looking right through you 👁👁

And that's putting it mildly.

FYI: I'm skipping over the whole "Teresa using the Dimensional Scream because this treasure box seems sketch and could be a trap" thing because it's... not really necessary to the story.

...Annnnd here's the cincher. *shakes ten-year-old me for being too dumb to have all doubt expelled at this reveal* Gosh, we've managed to hit 30 images already, so I suppose let's move on to Part 3. I liked it better when I just crammed in as many photos as I could...

[pangolinheart]

FFXIVWrite DAY 24 - SUIT PT. 2 (EXTRA-CREDIT)

Find part 1 here!

(Please be kind to me I don't know how to write romance or historical fiction or characters who have chemistry but i tried my hardest, dammit!)

Rating: General Characters: Haurchefant Greystone, Warrior of Light (Z'rhiki Irhi) Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light Word Count: 2,000 Content Warnings: None

The full moon lit the courtyard in blue and silver, lending it an enchanting, spectral quality. The loud thrum of activity that permeated the dance floor was muffled by the stone walls and paned windows, leaving the exterior pleasantly quiet. He idly wondered if there were any other ne’er-do-wells who had snuck away from the tasteful entertainment to enjoy a bit more privacy. If there were, they had already secreted themselves away among the hedges.

He had made his way unhurriedly across the ballroom and had lingered for a short time at the door before slipping through it, ensuring that no curious stares followed him outside. In that time, he had lost sight of her, and he wandered aimlessly through the grounds. He had no doubt that his path would eventually wind its way towards her. He ambled to and fro for a short time, enjoying the sights and smells of the labyrinthine garden before he found himself following the sound of running water down a familiar footpath. Sure enough, there she was, perched on the edge of a stone fountain, legs crossed in a manner most un-ladylike, dangling one hand carelessly into the cool water. The fountain was not quite as grand or as expensive as the one that stood at the center of the courtyard, but he knew that it was her favorite. She liked all of its carvings of mythical beasts from the world over; manticores, unicorns, gryphons, sea serpents, and more he couldn’t even name. Her gaze was turned skyward when he approached, towards the glittering stars that sprawled overhead, far beyond the reach of the yellow light that poured from the manor house. He took a moment to admire her like that: staring dreamily at the stars as her hand drew small patterns in the water.

The picture lasted only a minute, however, as she soon brought her eyes back down to smile impishly at him. He smiled back at her fondly; the only child of the Irhi family, and the scourge of not only her own house but noble houses everywhere. She was loud, crass, and openly flirtatious in a social strata where so much as sharing more than two dances with the same partner was enough to label one “promiscuous.” She invited men and women alike to dance, though more and more her invitations were politely declined. She wore whatever she felt suited her at any given time, be it lavish dresses or men’s coats, to great protestation. She rode astride horses and challenged men to races. She was overly familiar with servants. She snuck out of her parents’ house to visit raucous taverns, where she sang and danced and even climbed onstage. She indulged liberally in good food and alcohol, played childish pranks, and told scandalous jokes. She was a blight on her parents’ reputation and polite society at large, and he couldn’t help but find himself quite taken with her.

“You know,” He mused, coming to stand before her. “Some might find it highly improper for a young lady such as yourself to be strolling the gardens at night, unattended. Especially in the company of a man. What would your parents think?”

“Nothing they haven’t thought before, surely,” She replied flippantly. That was probably true. It was hardly the worst thing she had done, and her parents hadn’t disowned her yet, to the consternation of many. “And if you’re so concerned about my good name, you didn’t have to follow me. I didn’t ask you to.”

“Didn’t you?”

“No,” she denied, though they both knew that the invitation had been intentional, if unspoken. She knew he couldn’t say no to her. She didn’t even have to ask the question.

“Though, she continued, “I can’t pretend I’m disappointed with the company.” She flashed him a grin.

He smiled back, somehow feeling at ease even as his heart fluttered. “Weren’t you enjoying the party?” He asked.

She snorted, something he was sure would have been deemed “unbecoming” back inside. “I was enjoying the party plenty. It’s other people who weren’t enjoying me enjoying the party. I came out here to give them a reprieve.”

Haurchefant chuckled at her dramatic tone. “How very magnanimous of you,”

“Isn’t it just?” He only noticed that there had been a mostly full glass of wine sitting on the lip of the fountain when she raised it to her lips to quaff some.

“You look lovely tonight,” He managed to find his manners again as he looked at her. The dress she was wearing certainly stood out – looking nothing like what he knew to be the fashion of the time. It was fitted much lower, rather than cinched just under her bust, and lacked the distinctive square neckline. Instead of the pastels that were favored for summer occasions, it was a dark, rich color, somewhere between blue and violet, with a diaphanous overlay dotted with glittering beads that reminded him of the stars above.

“Do I? Thank you. I rather like this dress.” She looked down at herself, and her smile looked almost sad. “My mother hated it. She didn’t say anything – she was probably thankful I managed to bring home a dress at all this time – but I could tell. I don’t think many people inside like it either. I’m sure it’s too showy or too immodest or too fanciful or too something. I just don’t like the kind that are in style now. They make me look like a child playing dress-up with my mother’s things. Something like this just suits me better, don’t you think?”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Haurchefant said warmly. It did suit her – beautiful and completely out of place, like a flower whose seed had been blown in by a foreign wind, blooming amidst the primroses and daffodils. “Though, I confess, I’m surprised you don’t find that your mother’s opinion adds to its charms.”

She bit her bottom lip and frowned. The toe of her boot worried the cobblestones at her feet. “I don’t do things specifically to upset my parents, you know.” She pointed out. “I just… do what I like and more often than not they find it upsetting. Even if I wanted to make them happy, they make it so damnably impossible.”

She sounded genuinely frustrated, and he raised his eyebrows in muted bemusement. It often seemed as if she had not a care in the world for what others thought of her, and he had never seen past the defiant mask she donned in the face of criticism. He supposed it wasn’t too shocking. The constant disapproval and social ostracism was bound to erode even the strongest will. Having suffered his own fair share of scorn, he was not without sympathy.

Cautiously, he lowered himself to sit next to her at the edge of the fountain, making sure they were still a few ilms apart, and set his hands on either side of himself. “Do you want to make your parents happy?” he asked gently.

“Sometimes,” she admitted, keeping her gaze low. “But it’s a bit late for that now, isn’t it? Besides, it seems like the only thing that will make them happy is me being miserable.”

Haurchefant could certainly see how it might seem that way, though he doubted that was truly the case. “I’m sure your parents view it as trying to secure your future happiness. If they cared not at all for you they could have disinherited you long ago.” It was a harsh reality, but not an altogether uncommon one He had seen it happen a handful of times, though in at least half of such cases reconciliations were eventually made. He doubted that would be the outcome for her, though – be it by gods or devils she had been imbued with a fearsome stubbornness.

A bitter laugh slipped past her lips. “They probably should have sent me to a convent while they still had the chance.”

He considered her, imagining her unruly laughter and boundless energy. Even the city itself seemed like a cage for her, so he could only imagine how much more she would chafe in a nunnery. “While I’m personally glad that they did not, I’m certain it was also for the best for all involved. You… don’t seem well-suited to life in a convent.”

This made her laugh with more sincerity. “I suppose you’re right. I would have set the place ablaze and gone running screaming and naked through the streets before the year was out.”

He almost choked on whatever he had been about to say next and was sent into a fit of coughing and laughter. “That would… certainly be a sight to see.” He managed when he recovered. Her grin returned.

“Wouldn't it? Now if I really wanted to drive my mother out of her wits, I’d commission a painting of just that. Fortunately, I’m a benevolent daughter and would never do such a thing.”

“Fortunately indeed,” He agreed. He cleared his throat. “Though, I suppose I should point out that if you truly wish to please your parents, you certainly won’t accomplish it by sitting out here with me, of all people.”

He felt as much as saw her eyes slide over him, thoughtfully. Her lips quirked. “Well, sod it then! They’ll just have to find some way to cope. As I said, I do what I please, with who I please, and if it doesn’t please them, its due to their own poor tastes.”

Suddenly, she fixed him with a curious stare. “And here we’ve spent all of this time talking about me.  But what of your good name? You’re not worried that you’ll tarnish it by associating with a scoundrel like me? And one to whom you’ve not even been formally introduced, at that!”

“What good name?” Haurchefant returned in jest. “I’m the bastard son of a nobleman. Even ‘twere I a saint, I’d rank just above the kitchen staff. And the lives of saints seem so very dull.”

“Well, up until the martyrdom, anyway,” she mused. “Honestly, between the two of us it’s impossible to tell which of us is the bad influence upon which.”

 “It would seem you are right once again, my lady,” he agreed amiably. “I suppose we’re both damned.”

“That we are.” She tossed back the rest of her glass of wine and abruptly stood up. She turned to him and extended a hand. “So, in that spirit, would you care to dance? That’s what we came here for, isn’t it? If you listen, you can still hear the music from inside…”

He marveled at her for a moment. She possessed all of the traits that books and common wisdom declared unattractive in a woman, and yet, looking up at her from this angle, her face framed by the starry sky, he couldn’t help but think she was one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen.

“I believe it’s considered highly improper for a lady to invite a man to dance,” He said, though his hand was already in hers.

“Well, if we’re both to be cast into the fiery hells anyway, I don’t see that it matters. A dance of the damned, then!”

She pulled him to his feet and one of his hands found her waist, while the other remained wrapped in hers. He tugged her closer, just a little too close to be proper, and his ears strained to hear the faint melody that drifted out to the garden so that his feet could find a rhythm. Soon their bodies fell into time, and she began to hum along with the tune, slightly off-key and adding her own little flourishes where she felt appropriate. As they danced in that secluded corner of the garden, so close together they could feel the warmth of each other’s bodies, moving to the sound of her voice, he thought if they could dance like this in hell, being damned might not be so bad after all.

[metalkitty21]

Apollo Justice

just finished Apollo Justice and what a game! Even while going into it with some knowledge it was still such an exciting and enjoyable game!

So you guys get to suffer with me going into details about my thoughts of the case /hj

all details under cut!

Case 1: Turnabout Trump

I went into this case knowing that Phoenix was the defendant and that was it. Kristoph was such a dick in the best way possible and probably my favourite villain of ace attorney. He's such a villain, even in just this first case. Phoenix is a good defendant, Payne is...well Payne, and Trucy is adorable and no one can stop me from loving her. Olga is a great witness. She goes from adorable Russian gal to a fucking pirate, what else do you want in a gal?

Case 2: Turnabout Corner

Worst case of the game, but not horrendous. The mixture of the a murder and theft is a cool idea, I don't know the panty aspect of it wasnt completely needed. Wocky is probably my favourite defendant of the entire game. He's a goofy goober who just loves his fiancé and didn't know he was dying. I was so happy when he appeared in credits enjoying life with his family to the fullest. Eldoon was brilliant, despite the pun name, he was a fun guy, with a dog called Spoon, a mascot called Salty and gave me the betray of the century when he took the ramen wig off. Anita(?) was an okay villain. Nothing special. Stickler didn't ruin the case, but he made it a little hard to deal with at times. Ema's return was nice, but this was my first experience with her since I never played Rise from the Ashes. The forensic stuff was fun and she ended up being one of my favourite characters! Klavier is golden! He takes the cake for the gayness introduce in Ace Attorney history and just flirts with Apollo the entire game and I fucking love this man to no end.

Case 3: Turnabout Serenade

I went into Serenade knowing a lot, like Machi wasn't blind, it was Lamroir who was, I even knew Daryan was the killer. Yet this case, despite all the hate it gets, is my absolute favourite case of this game. The events happening with the lyrics is such a good concept and execution so well. Daryan was a pretty good villain, and his murder attempt on Lamroir was unexpected ans I like they included it. Machi was a bit meh honestly. Lamroir though, she was great. Such a good character with all the twists and turns and just a character as a whole she's amazing! (We'll get back to her) the mixing board was a tad annoying at times but hunting through to find the gunshots while Lamroir was singing was such a good choice to make.

Case 4: Turnabout Sucession

In trust AA fansion, the final case is brilliant, but sometime holds it back and we'll talk about him last. The case seven years ago was absolutely painful to do because of the knowledge the evidence was forged. Zak was fun, baby Trucy was extra cute, FUCKING GUMSHOE, Valent is probably one of my favourite characters because of this case, he's such a good character. The incident was Thalassa is honestly heartbreaking and that fact she's fucking ALIVE AND LAMROIR is such a good twist (which I called because I'd seen Trucy's mother before and thought Lamroir looked similar) but a good twist nonetheless. Valent was fun in Serenade and was even more fun in Case 4. The actual case for Case 4 thought was great. Being a ploy by Kristoph that ended up because delayed seven years because Vera wanted the stamp was brilliant and actually made a lot of sense. Klavier broke my heart, and Kristoph breakdown was satisfying as fuck. the MASON system was so fun, my part part of the case. It was confusing at times, but I'm also stupid, so. Hopping between past and future and having it explain by a camera in Phoenix's hat is such a good explanation. Yet...

spark Brushel...ruined everything. he's a bad character and not a fun witness at all, but he would have been manageable if he stayed in the first day of the court BUT HE KEEPS COMING BACK AND IT FUCKING SUCKS

Overall View

It's a great game! Would recommend! Apollo, Trucy, Klavier, and Valent are probably my favourite new characters from AJAA Case rankings are Case 3, Case 4, Case 1, Case 2. Favourite defendant is Wocky, closely fellowed by Vera and Zak. Guilt love fucking slaps

[wumblr]

STOP JOINING CHIME they changed one of the card cat numbers and the new 640s can't be counted with my mictom primus c12. do you know how difficult this makes my job. i have to either count them by hand or go into the vault to use the 50-card batching conveyer belt they bought off aliexpess where all the buttons are in chinese. guess which one i did today THAT'S RIGHT I COUNTED 700 CARDS BY HAND because the vault only sent out 691. took it back to them and guess what they did THAT'S RIGHT THEY PUT IT ON THE CONVEYOR BELT. anyway do you want to know what chime's whole business secret is? THEY NEVER ORDER STANDARD SHIPPING. only rushes and same-days. you are paying extra for them to pay for expedited shipping. IF YOU NEED A CREDIT CARD THAT BAD NO YOU DON'T. (the irony of producing credit cards to pay off my credit card debt is not lost on me.) and yet, you know what the worst part is? if you pick up exactly 50 cards to batch a 50-card set there is no benefit to this because you still have to count them even if you get REALLY GOOD AT PICKING UP EXACTLY 50 CARDS EVERY TIME