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ravetillyoucry · 1 month ago

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PUPARIA

Chapter 26 - half return

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Hosah hadn't expected airports to be so tiring. Despite sleeping for a short while in Teddy's hand before they'd need to make their merry way, clearly the flight's take off in the early hours of the morning wasn't doing him any good.

It was best to stay small for as long as he possibly could before they'd go, otherwise he'd just suffer longer with a severe case of the itching. On the outside, being five foot seven inches tall was normal, it seemed like it would be Hosah's default height, but it wasn't, and he'd acknowledged that a while ago. When he wasn't tiny, he'd yearn to be. His muscles tickled uncomfortably under his skin, beckoning him to shift again, to ease the aching and the pulsating in some way. It hurt, chronically, but he could deal with that. It was the itching that drove him crazy.

"Our seats are separate from my family's, if you need to, you can just.." Teddy's voice trailed off as he spoke, tilting his head, as if the shifter knew what he was going to say.

He did, Hosah was just far too sleep deprived to cooperate.

"What? No, I'll be alright. I need to get used to staying like this for longer anyway, it's not sustainable, y'know, shrinking all the time." Hosah spoke far louder than his counterpart, enough so to prompt the frantic gripping of his shoulders with a hush from Teddy.

He looked around, specifically for someone, before turning back to Hosah, "Quiet, he's onto us."

"Who, Dean?" The shifter scoffed, pulling himself out of Teddy's now gentle grip, "I don't care if he finds out- hell, it's not a secret. He can ask me about Arthur Emily all he wants."

"I don't want him to ask you. It's.. It's wrong, these things are supposed to be confidential." The change in stance from Teddy was surprising to say the least.

Hosah tilted his head, his scoff turning more into an amused smile, a curious one at that, "Since when did you defend the rights of Arthur Emily? You hate that guy, right?"

"I find him grating in every way of the word, but... I'm put off by Dean in a different way." Teddy kept his hand rested on the shifter's shoulder as he looked out for his brother in law.

"Why, because of what he said? About shifters?" Hosah couldn't help but push, poking the bear until he'd get an answer that satisfied his curiosity.

"Maybe.." Teddy was far too distracted to give an in-depth explanation on why exactly he didn't like Dean.

Now that he thought about it, it was rare for Teddy to hold high opinions of anyone, really. He didn't like Arthur Emily for his abuse of power and cowardice when admitting to doing so, which was a fair point, he didn't like Scotty because he was a dick, which was also a rather fair point- he didn't like Jules, or Dean, and he'd only recently had a good word to say about Jeanne. It almost made Hosah feel flattered to be in his good books, but it also awoke a deep paranoia within him that he couldn't shake off.

The feeling of being observed at any given time had ruined his life completely, to the point where he even found himself second-guessing Teddy in his nature. A little voice in the back of his head, asking if his disdain for so many of their peers and associates was a tactic, to isolate Hosah, to plant the seeds of distancing himself into his head, to make it so it would only be himself and Teddy in their inner circle by the end of it. That wasn't the case, it couldn't be, there were plenty of things to prove the idea wrong, like all the people Teddy did in fact enjoy to be around that weren't the shifter, but he still sometimes found himself with no thoughts to distract from that little voice.

"That was really cool, by the way, what you said to him." Hosah smiled, this time out of genuine endearment, ".. D'you remember what you said forever ago, about how I should give inspirational speeches or something, cause I say cool shit on occasion. I think you were projecting, because that, that was cool-"

"You don't need me to speak for you." Teddy put it bluntly, his head still turned away, eyebrows furrowed in focus.

It was difficult to not be disheartened whenever Teddy spoke particularly bluntly. Nobody could be expected to keep up a kind and gentle demeanour 24/7, and it was hypocritical for Hosah to expect as much when he himself did a fair share of snapping at his partner, but it still hurt. The good thing was, he didn't need to vocalise it for Teddy to catch on.

He turned around, his expression softening a fair amount, "Sorry, my heads all over the place. But, really, that wasn't something I really came up with myself. You're my inspiration, I suppose. I was trying to embody you when I said it."

"Stupid.. Just take my compliment, don't spin it back on me." Hosah couldn't contain his happiness at the statement, giving Teddy a jab in the ribs to make sure his point got across.

"Hey, I'm serious. Really." It was nice to see him laugh for a change, "Speaking of inspiration.."

Teddy let go of the shifter, shuffling around in his backpack for what seemed like an eternity, before he found what he was looking for, it seemed.

"I brought my camera. I mean, you, the Italian countryside, that sounds picturesque, no?"

There was a plethora of things Teddy hoarded. Train tickets were a big one, and so were pieces of fine china, and old watches he promised he'd take to a watchmaker to resell for more, but always ended up saying he'd gotten too attached to do so. The most important thing Teddy seemed to hoard, however, were photos. Albums upon albums, with every picture he'd ever taken. He must've spent half his monthly wage getting them printed, on film and various other things to keep his half a dozen cameras in good shape.

The backstory for his love of photography was a silly one, if Hosah was recalling correctly. His mother made a great attempt at landing him a job in the modelling agency she was under, but he ended up working with the photographers upon arrival rather than her intention of utilising his face for what it was born to do, to be photographed.

"God, stop it, whenever I think you can't possibly get any cheesier." Hosah let out a deep breath of what he assumed to be exhaustion, but there was a good chance it could've also, just partially, been a relief at his partner's own relaxed nature.

It felt wrong to be so happy in the moment. To share laughs, to look forward to the trip in general. Hosah had long let go of any morsel that remained of his religious beliefs, but it had to be some kind of divine disrespect to think of a death as a good opportunity.

These sort of moments of relaxation, of stillness and serenity, always seemed to be cut short in one way or another. Whether it be Dean's invasive nature, or the fact they had a plane to board, something always got in between the two.

To say Hosah had never been outside of the country before, never mind on an airplane, he took it all surprisingly well. It wasn't like he wasn't used to such a change in altitude already, to be lifted up higher than he could perceive, to feel the weight from under him be lifted entirely. It was strangely comforting in a way, a sense of familiarity when he couldn't shrink to a comfortable size. What was most relieving was the fact they were away from Teddy's family for a period of time, even if it made him feel guilty for thinking it, the stress of being around such a cast of characters weighed heavily on Teddy in particular. That much was obvious.

Hosah had heard plenty stories of his partner's grandfather, but still, he soaked in his uncertainty, even in the car from the airport to Teddy's family's farm, the unease just wouldn't wash away. It was a different sort of discomfort, he wasn't afraid of being around insufferable people like before, he was afraid of not being liked by the man. That was strange, Hosah usually couldn't care less what others thought of him. Nonetheless, he'd push it down, catching up on some sleep in the rental vehicle.

He hadn't expected to dream when he rested his head against the car window. He rarely dreamt during naps, his dreams were prolonged and vivid, when he napped, he could never get deep enough into unconsciousness to conjure up anything. It seemed lately that anything and everything was capable of completely evading his expectations. Things had never been as unpredictable as the present.

It was the familiar breeze of the air conditioner that made Hosah jolt to attention. That was the thing with the facility, no matter the time of year, that stupid machine always whirred away, even when the tips of his fingers had turned white, going numb as they were rendered completely useless. The grey prison-esque uniforms everyone was forced to wear didn't help him much in the case of finding warmth, the fabric being heavy and scratchy against his skin as it hung off of his form like an old rag. The relevance of him being a teenager in the dream was lost on him, but then again, it had only just began.

In his dream states, Hosah was always far, far more sensitive and emotional. He couldn't recall a single dream as vivid as this where he wasn't crying out in some way. The total loss of control, despite how real it all seemed, was the thing that scared him the most. He had no composure in his subconscious.

Everything in his vision was as clear as day, although he knew it wasn't real. It couldn't be real, he had all of his memories up until the current day, and he knew he wasn't in the facility the last time he checked. Now would've been a great time to get up, to look through everything in the shoebox of a room as best as he could, despite being shrunken and stuck that way- even in the depths of his dreams, to relive the little parts of his adolescence. It was the same as how he'd remembered it, plain, mind-numbingly so, appearing to be more of a holding cell than any sort of bedroom- a place of comfort, of intimacy, of safety and normalcy. His dreams never allowed him much indulgence in the things he wished to do, especially not exploring and, God forbid, finding enjoyment.

"Hosah," The voice rang familiar, but it wasn't at all accurate to the time and place he was supposed to be in. It was Doctor Aronov. Huh.

One accurate part of the dream, however, was how the door creaked open. It was a horrible, grating sound that made Hosah recoil and curl into himself, covering his tiny, sensitive ears in hopes to protect them from the loud noise.

He could tell the sound had stopped now, but it didn't mean he wanted to lift his head just yet. In the safety of his own head, Hosah was still afraid to face Doctor Aronov.

"There you are." His smile could be heard, even in his quiet whisper, "It was foolish of you to think you could run and hide from me for so long. Going as far as to miss your check-ups, were you?"

The quiet tutting of disappointment that left his lips was enough to send Hosah into a spiral of distress. It was a teasing gesture, that much was clear, but even the slightest sign of a disapproval from the doctor broke the shifter's tiny heart into a million pieces.

Hosah shook his head, his foetal position with hands being held over his ears more so to block out the sound of a reply than the creaking of the door, "I'm sorry, I would've come back- I was going to- but.. things just keep happening, and I keep putting it off, and- it's just, now it's a big mess that I can't even begin to untangle—and the only way I know how to deal with it is to pretend it's not there at all."

He wished he could control what came out of his mouth. He'd rather had stayed silent, but that would just be reinforcing the explanation his subconscious had conjured up for him to give to his doctor. In his dream state, Hosah didn't just struggle to control his tongue, but his physical reactions and outbursts too, as he began to cry. This was usually the state he'd end up in whilst he slept. It was raw, uncontrollable, and terrifying. The fact it wasn't real was the reason he was ever able to sleep at night, but even then, his dreams had become so vivid, it was hard to discern them from reality nowadays.

Even when curled up, completely avoiding his surroundings both visually and audibly, the shift in weight underneath him as the giant sat beside him on his bed filled Hosah in on the details of his situation. God damn his size, and how very gradually he slipped down the pillow, involuntarily dragging him closer to the doctor. God damn physics especially.

"There, there." Even his comfort was cold and clinical, "I understand. I understand all too well. Whilst I agree it's not in the patients best interest to read up on them before they come to see you, I'm aware of the previous diagnosis you've been given. Usually, I'd wait for you to tell me yourself, but, given your situation, the fact that help isn't something you willingly went out of your way to receive, I felt it to be necessary."

Doctor Aronov waited. It seemed he wanted to pique Hosah's interest with how vaguely and strangely he worded his statement, but in his most raw and honest form, Hosah couldn't hide his lack of a care for learning just what the doctor knew about him. Ignorance is bliss, and he'd much rather be in the dark, as he remained still as ever, curled up in himself on the pillow.

The heavy sigh that followed his expectant silence instantly drove Hosah over the edge, his instinctive need to beg for forgiveness being quickly dismissed by the raise of the Doctor's voice again.

"It's typical for these things to go hand in hand. What you said, about things leading back to one key source, or, I suppose you said event- it's not so far off. It can all be related back to something in your core. You're an anxious person, Detective. What you eat, the events in your life, maybe.. How you're perceived."

Even in a state of pure honesty and vulnerability, Hosah still couldn't manage to not be stubborn. That was more or less his 'core'. "I don't care about what people think of me."

"No, I suppose not." The doctor hummed. Hosah began to wonder what exactly was the difference between psychiatrist and therapist. "It's more like.. You're anxious about their outwardly approval of you. What they really think isn't a problem, as long as you can't tell. I'm right, aren't I?"

The shifter could sort of understand the difference, but being difficult was another core aspect of himself, "Those sound like the same thing. Outward approval, and their true opinion."

"Exactly." The fact Doctor Aronov chuckled wasn't one that put Hosah at any ease, "You choose not to acknowledge the difference between the two. That's the point. Like how you have been choosing to ignore the appointments I so graciously reschedule and replan my life around for you."

"I'm really sorry." Even in his dreams, where he is devoid of any control over what comes out of his mouth, the lingering taste of shame is still ever present on Hosah's tongue nonetheless, "I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself when stopped showing up. I'm just scared, you said you understand, do you understand- that I'm really sorry, and it wasn't a conscious decision, it just sort of happened."

"You don't have to be so sorry." His answer was fast, too fast for comfort. "You can't go back, but you can make a start to make things right- or, to make things better. Why do you think you're here?"

Hosah surprised himself with the speed of his own answer, "Because my mind won't let me out of here."

"And have you not thought to question why that is?"

"Because I know I can't go back. And I don't know how to make things better. I don't want to go back, but if I could, maybe I'd know. I've tried fucking some sense into me, to relive it, but it just piles on the dirt. Every time I've tried, I've just found myself even more lost, more... stuck in here." Hosah no longer found himself laid to appear as small as he could possibly seem anymore, as he stared up at the familiar bright off-white overhead lights he'd seen in his memories almost every day, even over ten years later.

Hosah could tell the doctor was smiling at him, even though he wasn't even looking. There was a weird sense of all-knowing he had in his dreams, he knew what was going on, and that just made his lack of ability to face and or stop it even more painful.

"That's already a start- acknowledgment. You just need to say it. Properly, I mean. We can come back to this another time, hopefully in the near future. You'll just need to fill me in, of course."

Despite alluding to the one thing that caused all of his problems to unfold, Hosah never actually told the doctor what exactly it was that happened. It was for the same reason he couldn't admit it to Teddy- he was afraid. Of being called a liar, of having misremembered, of making it all real by acknowledging it ever happened at all outloud.

"Hosah." The voice wasn't the same as the one that greeted him earlier, no, not at all.

"Hosah, cmon, what's a matter..?" It was gentle, shaking the world he currently resided in, gripping his shoulder with a light, yet earth shattering force.

"Talk to me, wake up, hey.."

The shifter jolted awake, the seatbelt having left a dint in his hollow cheek. That wasn't the only thing imprinted on his face, however, as his tears also left a stain, a tracking trail of where they'd travelled before pooling in the space between his collarbones.

"Hey." Teddy's relieved face could be made out, even through hazy, tear filled vision, "Sorry I had to wake you. Didn't seem like too pleasant of a dream, huh?"

"I need to call Doctor Aronov. I need to talk to him."

It wasn't until Hosah had blinked the coming tears out of his eyes that he realised the impossibility of it all. They were in the middle of nowhere, only a few minutes away from Teddy's family farm- where phone service was nonexistent and the closest form of civilisation was a good few miles away.

The look of pity on Teddy's face was an unnecessary one as he squeezed the shifter's shoulder, "Aw,"- he hummed- "it'll have to wait.. I spoke to him not so long ago, remember? He's happy to have me there with you, as long as you actually turn up."

"No." Hosah cut in, gripping his seatbelt until his knuckles were white, "I mean.. There's something I need to say to him, privately."

"When the time comes to it, I can give you your space." Teddy gave a reassuring jostle of the shifter's hair, before starting the engine once more. "Cmon, we'd better clock in, have dinner, get some rest.. Funerals tomorrow, after all. Then we have a day to do whatever, then we'll be back. You can talk to him soon, just gotta get through the long weekend."

That was right. Just the long weekend, then they'd be home. That was what Hosah had to keep reminding himself, as the itching began, once and for all.

Like clockwork, the car started again. His nap didn't help Hosah feel any more well rested, but he didn't dare to risk trying to get some more shut eye for the rest of the journey, not whilst he wiped at his blocked nose with his sleeve, his eyes still red and sore from how tightly he'd squeezed them shut.

"So, you dreamt of Doctor Aronov, then?" Teddy asked, innocently, his eyes focused on the country dirt road.

They would've landed around about eleven or twelve, if they were still in the US, but given the change in time zone, they hadn't gotten out of the airport until six in the evening. It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't November, as the sun had set early, leaving the pair to wade through the roads with only the headlights of the car to guide them.

Hosah shook his head, still snivelling to try clear his breathing, "Something like that."

Teddy repeated his words back to himself a couple times, quietly, all smiles as he stared at the road in front of him.

"You're in a good mood." Hosah commented, more focused on trying to find tissues as he shuffled around in his bag as it sat in the footwell.

"I'm excited." He clarified, "I haven't been home since I left. My Grandpa sends post cards and letters, and all, but that's not the same."

Hosah nodded, sagely. Whilst he didn't understand the feeling that came with no longer having his grandfather be in his physical presence, he understood that letters and cards weren't the same. His own grandfather would send cards every Hanukkah, one for each of his grandchildren, besides his younger brother Noah, whom he didn't know existed. He'd address Hosah's older brother by name in writing, but he never sent a card specifically labelled for a Hosah, just 'habibi'. That was the reason specifically, why his father and his father's father stopped speaking to each-other. Complicated feelings regarding the original Hosah, and how each of them chose to honour him.

"Yeah.." Hosah wasn't sure how else to respond, saying 'I get it' was a lie, and anything else just didn't feel right. ".. Are you okay? With the funeral and everything- if you're upset, I'm here for you, you don't have to act like you're not."

"I'm not upset." Teddy's smile faltered, just slightly, "I'm more upset that I'm not upset. I feel like I should be, that I shouldn't be this happy despite it.." His words trailed off, much like the paved road, that had turned to grass and dirt now. "We're here now. And, the day after the funeral, if the weather is still good, I'll take you somewhere."

"Getting all that it's worth out of renting a car?" Hosah joked as he prepared to undo his seatbelt.

"We'll bike it. If you can manage." His words rang half honest, although the other half was just a tease, in which Hosah rewarded it with a gentle push of his shoulder, careful of the fact he was still parking all the while.

It was hard to see in the dark, but the light through the windows of the farmhouse up on the hill was enough to convince them to walk up towards it. Seemed as though everyone else had beat them to arrival. Something in Hosah's stomach churned. He wasn't afraid of what people thought of him, but the incoming reaction of the pair walking in late weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Teddy had gotten out of the car all at the same time as the shifter, and even with both their bags slung on either of his shoulders, he still paused.

"Wait." He muttered, his eyes on the house rather than on Hosah himself. Still, he was beckoned towards him, so he obliged in the request.

Despite his arms being obviously too full to embrace him, Teddy still managed to pull the shifter in close. He was always touchy, but this was far more overly romantic than he was usually willing to go outside the confines of their home. Kisses were methodically planted across Hosah's face, on each cheek, his forehead, both the bridge and the tip of his nose, his chin, and especially, a gentle, closed mouth kiss on his lips. It was extra, that was for sure.

"Because I'm not really going to be able to whenever I want." Teddy clarified, deciding just one more would do, before Hosah could come up with an answer.

Hosah smiled, knowing he’d have to let go shortly, but taking Teddy’s hand in his own anyway, “Oh, God forbid.” - he shook his head, “Let me carry one of the bags, at least?”

-~-

It was when they entered the house itself that it seemed to hit Teddy. Like a ton of bricks, the sheer amount of mass burying him beneath them. Surprisingly, he didn’t panic under the pressure. A comforting weight, one that kept him grounded against the earth.

The evening was so pleasant, as long as he could ignore everyone but Hosah and his grandfather. It was perfect, like he’d never left at all, but bringing back everything that made his leave so great in the first place. The rooms were the same, the cats he’d raised from birth still wandered around the patio, purring and rubbing around his legs as a welcoming gesture, it felt more like a celebration of victory than a mourning of what once was. A looming threat had been disarmed. The wooden spoon he remembered so vividly being struck with was still hanging on its peg, except this time, it had no one to wield it.

By the time his internal clock had decided it was bed time, despite how everyone still sat in the living area, taking up every seat there was to offer, Teddy had excused himself to ‘the bathroom’, signalling for his partner to come out alongside him. The flashlight was still in the same place as it was when he was thirteen and pulled this trick.

“When you feed them at night, it makes it more likely for their calves to be born in the daytime. Less risky, that way.” Teddy explained through his steps, the shifter following along at his side.

“Besides,” He continued, “I needed a break, I think.”

Hosah wasn’t sure what he could add to the discussion, but he listened anyway, intently so. The day had been busy, that was for sure, between a long ceremony of what was described to him as ‘sin eating’, and generally being an accessory to a long overdue catch up between the family he wasn’t quite a part of, Hosah could definitely get behind a break from it all.

The pair got on with the task in a comfortable silence, taking a brief pause as Hosah discovered a new found fear of the large animals as they approached, much to Teddy’s delight. Any excuse to hold the shifter close was a good one; even if it were a ridiculous one. Taking a detour to wander around the farm he could navigate with his eyes closed seemed like a good way to pass the time, even if it were pitch black out by now.

Despite it not being visible to the eye, Teddy still knew where they were as they passed it. The slaughterhouse. He lifted the flashlight up to it, taking a moment to stare, to relive his childhood. It was clear what it was, even to the shifter, who was oblivious to such a lifestyle as Teddy’s own.

“Bad memories.” — Was all the taller of the two could mutter, “I don’t think I’ve been able to enjoy chicken since.”

That much was understandable. Hosah remembered the story, even if it was told to him a while ago by now.

“How long ago exactly was it- since you’ve been back?” A shift in topic was due, as they trailed back the way they came. They’d spent long enough wandering around in the dark.

“Twelve years, give or take.” Teddy took the lead, though not failing to thread his fingers between the shifter’s, just whilst he could.

Through the glimpses of the flashlight’s clarity, Hosah could still make out the general look of the farm house, even at such a distance away. It was scary how close it resembled the one he’d mustered up from his mind, for the painting he’d gifted to Teddy. That reminded him, actually, of the total lack of birthday wishes he’d received from his family that day. The realisation hurt his heart, enough for him to squeeze the larger hand that held his own.

Hosah’s eyes had grown used to the dark by now, the scrunching of Teddy’s face being apparent, even when it was partially turned away from his own. He didn’t want to let go, even as the patio’s light made their physical connection apparent. Neither of them did. So, they stayed that way, just until the door had opened wide enough for them to be visible by the entry way.

Everyone had seemed to go to bed, besides Yves- Teddy’s grandfather. He didn’t pay any mind to the pairs closeness, approaching them with a warmth that wasn’t found in any of Teddy’s other relatives. When Hosah pictures ‘grandfather’ in his mind, one like Yves wasn’t what it defaulted to. He wasn’t as fragile or decrepit as expected, in fact, he was the opposite, with the only true sign of his aging being the white colour of his hair, even his wrinkles being rather vague. He was younger than expected, that was for sure. Hosah knew how rude it was to guess peoples ages, but early seventies had to be the absolute oldest he’d pegged him for.

“Fed the cows?” He asked, still in an accented english, as Teddy’s father had insisted upon. Hosah considered that to be quite a rude gesture, also. He’d rather have his age guessed.

Teddy responded back, not in english, but the shifter pretended he understood what was being said either way, trying not to let how lost he was become apparent in his demeanour.

“Nonsense, I never get to use what I’ve learnt, so now you’re all here, I will use it as much as I can.” Yves gave a look to both of them. He had similar freckles and moles scattered around, just as Teddy had. “Hosah, photo album?”

The shifter was surprised to be addressed directly. The majority of Teddy’s relatives had done their best to ignore his presence. He was surprised his name was even known.

Hosah looked to his sides to make sure there wasn’t a third person at the doorway with the same name as him, before responding:

“Sure.” He tried not to let both his confusion and his enthusiasm be too evident.

Despite the taller of the two giving a sigh that could only be described as one that would be let out when preparing for further, they both followed along to the living room. It looked different now that it was empty, although the fire still crackled as if it was full of people it had to warm.

Maybe Teddy’s hobby was more of a hereditary thing, rather than one that stemmed from avoidance of his mother’s wishes regarding his future career path.

#g/t #giant tiny #g/t ocs #gianttiny #giant/tiny #oc hosah #oc teddy #size difference #g/t author #g/t writing #Puparia_tag #gt #Teddy grandpa I love you #Also i didn’t forget about Hosah’s therapist I promise

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ravetillyoucry · 2 months ago

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PUPARIA

Chapter 25.5 - Knuckle Velvet [PART 2]

prev - chapter 1

With the silence came a look of expectance across, what might as well have been, everyone's faces. A heavy air that needed to be filled with something, anything, but it just so happened to be far too thick to get a breath in, the shifter's lungs being far too deprived to push any kind of words out. Hosah choked, his eyes watering as he keeled over. The sudden sound seemed to light the room back up again, as his keeling over turned the crank handle on Tony's box, right up until he sprung out with an uncomfortably loud and long laugh.

"GOD." He roared, a hand quite harshly patting Hosah's back in an attempt to stop his spluttering, "It's a joke. For fuck sake, what are you all so miserable for, huh?"

Perhaps there was a reason for the gloom in the room. A glaringly obvious one, nonetheless. Teddy sighed a pained 'Oh'. He was probably the most relieved out of the pair, to not be found out just yet... He'd tell eventually, of course.

Forcing out a smile and a laugh was a difficult task to endure, but one Hosah would just have to take on despite it. Looking around the room, even with blurred vision through glossy eyes, nobody looked the slightest bit pleased. Tensions were high, and thick enough to slice right through.

Before Tony could quite get another word out, Teddy was quick to interject, "You haven't had a tour of the house yet! Oh my god, I feel so rude now, apologies. Come on, I'll- we'll show you,"

His eyes flickered between the shifter as he took his arm, and Aurelia, who he silently beckoned to come along with them. It seemed immature, they weren't the few older kids at a family dinner party going out on a blunt walk, his sister had a baby for gods sake, but along the three went anyway. It was probably for the better, not that Hosah didn't feel an immense amount of guilt for leaving behind the unassuming man that was Aurelia's husband. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't said a word since walking through the door. Weird.

The three silently walked in a single file line, taking a bee-line from the foyer straight to the front door. Hosah would have to see the rest of the house later.

If it weren't for Aurelia, they probably would've ended up lost in the suburban labyrinth of identical houses. The air wasn't particularly cold just yet, but they each grabbed their coats either way.

"It was only a matter of time before they started fighting." Teddy sighed, his breath present in the air like a puff of smoke. Shit. Maybe today hadn't been so perfectly planned, Hosah had forgotten his cigarettes.

Aurelia took the lead, walking a few steps ahead of them, whilst turning back to add, "The baby is a good distraction, though."

".. Right. I feel bad for leaving Dean there now." Teddy made sure they'd walked a good enough distance from the house to reach for the shifter's hand.

"Don't." She put it bluntly, "He'll be fine."

Hosah wasn't sure it was his place to speak up. To say anything. Maybe this was as bad of an idea as Teddy made it out to be. Like a freshwater fish out in the salt of the sea. It wasn't right, he didn't fit, but neither did Teddy really.

Teddy hummed, his thumb kneading the shifter's knuckles, "How are you both anyway? Did you end up picking a name for your baby?"

"Of course we named the baby. I'm just not sure if I love it." Aurelia's pace picked up, as she practically yelled to be heard now.

"The name?" Teddy already knew his answer, clarification or not.

".. Yeah. Not sure on the name. Or anything, really." She sighed, stopping in her tracks to allow the pair behind her to catch up.

That wasn't right. Teddy's expression dropped, his brow furrowing as he thought over his sisters words. That wasn't right at all. She wasn't the type to be unsure, she had everything figured out, her life was perfect, she had the respect of their parents. What she didn't have was uncertainty, surely not.

"Anyway," Aurelia shrugged, her face brightening in a mere split second. So, the state of being on a constant emotional rollercoaster seemed to be hereditary. "What's going on in the life of Edward?... And Hosah."

The nod she gave the shifter was supposed to be reassuring, but it only tightened the knot in his stomach. Hosah wasn't supposed to be here.

"I mean," Teddy sighed, heavily, like an old dog, "Objectively, it should be terrible, but, I think I'm the happiest I've ever been. And, I'm in the longest period of time in which I've been consistently happy throughout. So. Something like that."

"Just 'good' would've done it." Aurelia kept her head lowered through her laugh. "I mulled Edward over in my mind for a while. The name, I mean, but we ended up with Yves."

"After Grandpa?" Teddy wasn't sure why he questioned the obvious. A force of habit, probably. One he'd like to snap out of in the near future.

"Sorry. I know you liked the idea of naming your own kid after him. Early bird catches the worm."

All Hosah had ever truly wanted to be his entire life was a father in some capacity. As the years went by, and the less likely falling in love or even getting any kind of control over his 'power' became, the less he let himself become attached to the idea. He scrubbed the thought of 'I'd like to do this with my child' from his line of thinking, accepting himself as unstable, unfit, and incapable of achieving his one goal at life. Things changed, situations would shift, adaptations would need to be made. It was a bump in the road, something Hosah could soon get over. The conversation ripped into him like pulling the stitches out of an old wound. Hosah almost felt himself physically take a hit of damage as his breath hitched, his heart in his throat for a brief moment. Along with the sting, however, came a sense of hope.

"That's okay. There's a world full of names out there." Teddy squeezed the shifter's hand just ever so slightly tighter.

The silence that followed wasn't so heavy after all, in fact, it was quite light, soft, like the cakes from Teddy's favourite bakery. It almost brought a spring into Hosah's step as they circled the maze-like nightmare of a suburb.

They'd been walking around for a good five or ten minutes now, Hosah had no idea how nobody had noticed their absence. Of course, Teddy's family home was about twice, possibly three times the size of his own, without even accounting for the fact that his parents were seemingly far less obsessively overprotective as his own, but, come on. They weren't discreet with how they ran off. And almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind, one of their phones began to buzz, demanding attention with violent vibration.

It couldn't have been either Hosah's or Teddy's given how they'd agreed to not answer a single call from now until they'd be back in the US on Monday, given how there wasn't going to be any service out at his grandparents- or, just his grandfather's now- farm. With both of their mobiles being securely packed away in either one of their backpacks, (they hadn't really cared to take account of which one it was exactly) the general consensus of the situation was to look to Aurelia.

"We've been caught." She muttered with an awkward smile and squat in a the bobbing motion, as people often did when something was sort of comedic in a smile and nod sense.

Hosah had a feeling there'd be lots of smiling and nodding to be done once they'd get back. He was never really that great with people his parent's age.

-~-

The rest of the evening was a blur. Hosah had spent most of it holding dearly to the baby that had been left on his lap as if he were the family nanny as everyone but himself and Teddy indulged themselves in celebratory drinks. It was the strangest pre-funeral gathering he'd ever been to, not that the shifter had ever experienced any sort of monumental death within his family, not whilst he was alive, at least.

Hosah was acutely aware of the impact that came with death, he'd watched his father continuously unravel beyond help from the day he was born, he'd seen families be torn apart right in front of his eyes, with all his means to help lying within an ability to pull information out of them through an internal understanding they'd share. A shifter solidarity. One that knew just how fleeting life was, how fast it can be washed away by the crashing waves that were other people, just people with the power to stay the same size rather than a constant loop of change. When it came to his role as a mediator of sorts, all his 'unknown ability' came down to was the same sort of exhaustion those he found himself faced with shared. Being tired of living in a constant state of 'waiting for it', tired of how their muscles exhausted with every stretch and compression of shrinking down to a hundredth and less of their original size. Sometimes an eternal sleeping state didn't sound to bad, until he saw the aftermath of falling into the forever.

Teddy hadn't shed a tear. That wasn't strange, per se, given he wasn't the utmost emotional in regards to physical outbursts, as long as you didn't count a change in his face, that is. Teddy was the type to play his cards close to his chest, although a trained eye could see how his glinted upon being dealt a good hand. Hosah thought back to the day before. He felt relief, that's what Teddy had said. The end of a looming threat, closing the door behind an everlasting fear, an untangling of the knot that sat ever present in his stomach. He wondered what it meant, what had happened to make Teddy of all people so afraid. If Teddy was scared, the world was backwards. Teddy didn't fear much. He feared the vast city, but that was a given with his incapability to see the world from a shrunken perspective, he was used to being big, and the fact he was actually inconsequentially small, and therefore just as vulnerable as Hosah was when he lounged in his palm without a care in the world, was alarming. Of course it was. Hosah struggled to picture the face behind the title 'grandma' to be anything but a fragile, sweet old lady, albeit he didn't have any figure of his own to use as reference.

Teddy leant back in his seat, an arm resting, waiting for Hosah to fall back upon, over the backboard of the sofa. He spoke, leaning forward until his breath tickled the shifter's ear;

"You don't want anything to drink? There are plenty of beers-"

"We're flying tomorrow. In a few hours, I mean. If I have anything- anything at all, it'll come up. I already threw up all that water I drank on our way here." Hosah shook his head, his voice equally as quiet as Teddy's, but still loud enough to be made out amongst the small party before them.

The shifter had excused himself from dinner earlier to dispose of the contents of his stomach. Mainly so he wouldn't have to add to the pile that sat heavily inside of him, but also because he feared the liquid bile would come up and stain their nice white tablecloth if he didn't hurry. It had become a terrible habit of his to get sick. Not necessarily in the snivelling, sweating sort of way, but in a way that rendered his abilities to hold his food down useless. Discussing it with his doctors would lead to one answer only, that being Hosah's obvious disorder, but he wouldn't believe that to be the case even if it were on a paper signed by everyone in the world that had even considered studying medicine before. It was nice to have someone to sit by the toilet bowl with as they brushed back the hair from his eyes and wiped the thick slobber and spit from his chin. Teddy was glad to do that.

"You should still have some water, you know. It won't kill you, it's just the stress. Plus, all that vomit had to make you dehydrated in some capacity." Teddy leant forwards with his elbows on his knees, mirroring the shifter beside him as his hand crept up Hosah's back.

The lightbulb that formed above Hosah's head could be seen if you looked hard enough, his expression lighting up as he spoke;

"You're right. I need water and to rest. We should go.. Up to bed now."

He'd handed the baby back to its rightful owner a bit ago by now, and Teddy's family surely seemed pleased enough to not notice the two of them slipping up to the guest room in which they'd be staying in. The fact Teddy didn't have his own personal space in his parent's house was appalling, but Hosah had no room to comment on strange home lives.

Without another word needing to be exchanged, the pair excused themselves from the gathering, slipping up the various flights of stairs and down the lengths of hallways before finally locating where they'd be bunking for the night. A single guest room about as cold and minimalist as the rest of the house. It wasn't even necessarily classy, appearing more unfinished than anything. Maybe Hosah was just far too used to his boyfriend's starkly contrasting maximalist decor style, but the room was just sad. If they had this kind of space, they'd also have no money, as it'd give Teddy an excuse to buy all the things he stops to look at when dragging Hosah through just about every vintage store in the city. The thought made him smile.

And with the closing of the door came a newfound confidence over Teddy, whose arms didn't wait to wrap around the shifter's shoulders, holding him there for a long awaited moment.

"I think you've hit a new record of 'longest you can go without touching me'." Hosah smiled, even before their relationship tangled up and became far less straightforward that what needed to be, Teddy had always been the type to never keep his hands to himself, in some way shape or form.

Teddy pushed his face in deeper between Hosah's neck and shoulder, "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up."

"You're so dramatic." The shifter slithered his way out of the grip, "Besides, it's way more exciting going around secretively. I mean, even in the office, people sort of understand."

From here, the nightly routine would begin. Hosah had already began to strip to his bare bones, despite how still and quiet Teddy stood before him. It wasn't like he could just stand there all night, and it wouldn't take him long to decide crawling into bed beside the shifter wasn't a bad idea in the slightest.

"So, you're not..." Teddy stood at the end of the bed, coat still on, looking everywhere but at Hosah.

"Not what?"

"You're not, like, upset?" With his head lowered, Teddy finally glanced up.

Hosah scoffed, sitting up from his position on the bed, "Why would I be upset?? You're so weird. Come here, stop standing around over there."

"I don't know, I figured.. It's just- I don't want you to feel like I'm keeping you a secret, you know? I'm not ashamed of you, or embarrassed, it's just not so easy, and-"

"Teddy." Hosah interjected, "I get it. Seriously. Don't worry so much about it."

Finally, he did as the shifter had previously asked, and collapsed onto the left side of the bed, as he did every night. Despite his unfamiliarity with the house itself, the room felt like home as long as Hosah was in it with him. It wasn't unlikely that Teddy would find his head in the shifter's lap, and it was even more likely that Hosah's hands would find their way in his hair, mindlessly coiling the messy attempts at curls that sprung out of his short cut hair, being the result of an overgrown buzz-cut that Teddy didn't wish to refresh any time soon.

After a moment of consideration, Teddy raised his head, shifting his position in an attempt to make his voice slightly less muffled by the fabric of Hosah's pants.

"Was it hard?" He muttered.

"Was what hard?" Hosah had a feeling he knew what exactly Teddy was speaking about already.

"You know..." Teddy shifted once more, staring up from the lap his head rested on, "Telling your parents- your family."

His voice was quiet, almost a whisper. It was totally taboo for him, and they'd never actually properly spoken about it, now that Hosah looked back.

"I didn't tell them, per se, but they.. I guess they assumed. I don't think they want it to be true, they talk about Jules like we're meant for each other, but, they're sort of aware." Hosah rambled, it was hard to not address the elephant in the room when discussing these kinds of things. "It was kind of.. Inevitable, or, that's what they think it is. It's hard to know for sure, if I've always been this way, or if it was- I, you know, a consequence. I don't really like to dwell on it."

"What-" Teddy laughed, mostly out of sheer confusion, "What would it be a consequence of?"

Now would be the natural time to tell him. Teddy was owed it, to know Hosah's history, he knew Teddy's, and it was wrong to keep secrets. They'd had this discussion, to be honest with each other, to be open, to understand better. It was either now, or Jules would tell him, just as she threatened to.

It was hard to recollect it in his mind, what was real, what came after as his minds amalgamation of trauma and fear, what he dreamt, what had actually happened, the warning signs that lead up to it. The only thing cemented in Hosah's mind was the cold tile of the bathroom floor against his legs, and the sudden warmth that took over. From there on out, he was on the lakes.

Even if he wanted to speak, he couldn't. He was too scared, scared of being called a liar, of false memories, of never being believed again, of losing all respect he'd gained for himself. Hosah's grip on the hair in his lap loosened, his hands no longer circling the scalp, his fingers resting in the soft red.

"Hosah." The voice paused his fast beating heart, momentarily, "You know... It's- it's okay."

The hand that rested in Teddy's hair was grabbed, slowly and gently, and held in a sandwich between two much warmer, larger hands.

"Of course it's okay." Hosah blurted, finding himself breathless once brought back to the reality he was in.

Teddy's eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't mad, Hosah could tell that much, but he definitely knew there was more to it than the shifter was letting on. Swiftly and suddenly, he sat up from his position, hands still encompassing Hosah's own all the while.

"Whatever it was that you think made you how you are, I'm grateful for it."

Oh. Ohh... Oh, dear god. It was like watching a car wreck. Hosah knew his words were dear and well-intended, of course they were, but, if he understood the actual event... There was a great chance he wouldn't be wording it that way. As horrible as he felt for doing so, Hosah had to laugh at him. Oh, sweet summer child. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him, he supposed.

"Sure. Yeah- okay. You could say that." Teddy's stupidity did make for a great change in atmosphere, he'd give him that.

"What-? What about that is funny?"

Teddy definitely had a bad habit of getting as close as he physically could to people in conversation. When walking side by side on the street, he'd collide into Hosah more times than he could count, even after constant reminders to put some space between them. It was like a magnetising pull that kept bringing him back, nearly knocking the shifter down onto his knees with every bump and brush into his side. As badly as it annoyed him, admittedly, he could see its endearing nature too. Now was no different, as they were about one centimetre away from brushing noses with how Teddy leant down towards him.

"No, it's not funny, I'm not laughing at you," Hosah lied, "It's sweet."

The hands unravelled from around the shifter's own, instead finding their way elsewhere around him, resting at his hips, with the other crawling up the back of his shirt. He knew what he was doing, and it was sick.

"Teddy-" There weren't many things that Hosah could pin-point his shifting down to, but lately, his 'triggers' had gotten far more embarrassing and glaringly obvious.

A sneeze, a ticklish brush past him, being startled- it wasn't like that before, but nowadays, they were the key to getting him shot down in size.

"I'm not doing anything, I'm just being affectionate." Teddy parroted back the familiar wording the shifter had just used. Maybe he was right from the start, and Teddy really was this great malicious evil.

With a slight brush of his finger's, Hosah was immobilised. Tiny, on the bed, with the two hands now at either side of his new form. He wanted to panic and yell, he really did, before emotions subsided upon the realisation that he was not in fact stuck like this. It was a feeling in his muscles and bones, that allowed him to tell whether he could or couldn't grow back, and luckily, they weren't as stiff as he was used to them being at this size.

"You're so lucky I'm not stuck like this. Do you know how frustrating that would've been- I mean, we're going to the airport tomorrow, in a few hours, how would that even work?-"

The smile on Teddy's face was enough of a distraction from the shifter's train of thought. He was so used to being the one messing with the giant, that having it go the other way around was downright jarring. It wasn't supposed to be this way, he didn't think Teddy even had it in him to be this purposefully aggravating.

"No, keep going, I'm listening." Teddy manoeuvred himself, leaning his chin on a hand with his other arm now folded. That didn't help the looming position he had on the shifter, but it was a welcomed changed. A view like this of his forearms were always welcomed.

This sort of view in general was one Hosah enjoyed. Even as the shadow overcast his shrunken body, and the pain that came with craning his neck up to see Teddy's face properly, it was certainly a sight to behold. He was already gorgeous at a normal height, but, admittedly, being a giant was a great look on him. He must've noticed how Hosah had been staring by now.

Teddy never just looked at anyone, that much was clear, and it was apparent in his eyes that he wasn't just looking down at the man he'd indirectly shrunk, he was studying him. Inspecting, if you will. Hosah sometimes found himself afraid the giant could see right through him and into his head. That's what frightened him at first, at least. How he stared, he watched, he seemingly knew exactly what to say, what to do. It was spooky, for lack of a better word. At least, that's what it used to be.

"... What, nothing more to say?" Teddy smiled.

There was nothing more for Hosah to say after all. As terribly as he'd been annoyed by the act, he supposed he could enjoy what he could of it. It made him sick just how sweet his thoughts became when they focused in on Teddy. Things he'd never verbalise with the fear of throwing up after hearing them being spoken orally.

Hosah's own expression contorted, his furrowed eyebrows softening, his jaw relaxing into a soft smile of amusement, one jarringly similar to Teddy's.

"You have no idea how lucky you are. Seriously, I could kill you." The shifter sat up, not bothering to return to his usual size just yet. He'd been itching to shrink all day anyway, it was good to get it out of his system, before they went away.

The staring had been unmoving, the giant's gaze fixated on Hosah without a moment of faltering. It was almost as if the entire world had focused in on them, the house being dead silent despite celebrations echoing throughout just moments before. It seemed distasteful to spend a pre-funeral gathering in such a way, but Hosah felt he had no place to judge their grieving. He never even knew the woman, after all, and by how Teddy had behaved, it seemed she didn't deserve a tasteful goodbye.

"If looks could kill, maybe." Teddy always had something gross and cheesy to say. "Come here, I miss you."

And with that, the hands that previously rested at either side of the shifter's form wrapped around him. Teddy was tall, extremely tall, meaning he was just going to be even more of a giant when Hosah was in such a state. Usually, he could say with confidence he was 'slightly taller than a thumb' at three inches tall, but when next to Teddy's, they rounded out at about the same height. That didn't stop the same thumb from grazing across his cheeks, over the top of his head, around every nook and cranny of his body, however.

"Please, it's been a few minutes at most, you can't seriously—"

The quiet was suspicious, now that he really thought about it. Hosah wasn't given a moment's thought before he was taken behind the giant's back, cramped in between two cupped hands that held him firmly in place. He'd been victim to his parents throwing enough house parties to know what this meant. It got to a certain hour, when people's drunkenness stopped making them fun, but made them emotional and invasive instead. What he didn't expect, however, was Dean to be the type to strike up a meaningful conversation under the guise of alcohol.

What Dean definitely was happened to be plain and unremarkable. Hosah didn't care to know him besides a firm handshake upon his entrance, and it seemed both Teddy and Aurelia, marital status or not, were under the same impression. All Teddy had to say about him on the briefing that was their journey there was, 'he's a ghost writer, and he'll tell you himself it because he's not creative enough to think up a story to write, so he writes other people's', which Hosah assumed was the harsh, overprotective brother side of him speaking, but it turned out that he really would tell the shifter that himself.

"Edward," He started, hand lingering on the door handle, despite being a good few steps into the room, "Are you talking to yourself?"

If Hosah weren't so worried about blowing his cover, not that he really cared if Dean knew he was a shifter or not, he would've definitely made a point to poke fun at Teddy for such an accusation.

"... Hosah is in the bathroom, we were-" Teddy removed one hand, slowly and hesitantly, waving it in the direction that the en suite was in, "- we were talking through the wall."

"Oh. Ah, yeah, that makes sense. I had a question, anyway."

Eugh. A question. Although Teddy's grip on the shifter's frame tightened, he still wriggled around in the loose fist, being his only way of showing a reaction to the words being spoken at him.

"It's about Arthur Emily. I'm helping with his memoir, he mentioned a shifter detective duo coming by, but he refuses to tell me why. He's.. He's not a very remarkable guy, not much to write about, or, that's what he's letting on." Dean rambled, sitting beside (what he was unaware to be) the pair, "And I know you work in a shifters specialist unit, don't you? Well, he's New York based, you're New York based, and... I don't know any other sort of facilities like that in the general area."

Oh, boy. If he didn't fear coming off as rude, Teddy would've groaned out loud. When would he ever escape such a man.

"Oh. Him." He sighed, "Yeah, me and Hosah went up there a little bit ago.”

“Really? He mentioned one of them being a shifter, y’know, a little guy. That wasn’t you, was it?” The smile on Dean’s face was enough to gross anyone out. His tone of voice certainly grossed Hosah out, with the giant that held him having to withstand having his grip wriggled out of. The shifter’s newfound freedom couldn’t be any good.

“No, Dean, wasn’t me. You think I’d tell you, that sort of stuff is hereditary, imagine your surprise if Yves shrunk down one day..”

A hand grabbed at the collar of Teddy’s shirt, pulling him forward with such a force, that his hand behind his back opened anyway.

“Don’t joke about that.” He spat, the smell of beer lingering in the air as his face drew uncomfortably close to Teddy’s own.

“It’s not such a terrible thing.” Teddy rebutted.

The only actual shifter in the room didn’t bother to move from his place behind Teddy’s back, his head peeking out. He’d intended to originally, but, with the clear fit of annoyance displayed, it seemed best for him to hang back.

“Not such a terrible thing? It’s a curse. It’s horrible, you should know, you see just how many of those poor fuckers die, you wouldn’t wish that on your worst enemy, would you? Don’t talk it into fruition with my child.”

Teddy held the ‘it doesn’t work like that’ on his tongue, waiting for the grip on his shirt to loosen before speaking up again, his own hand blindly searching the general area around his back for Hosah, as if he were some human stress ball he needed to hold to gather his thoughts.

Finally, he found the correct words to say, after what’s realistically was a short period- but felt like an eternity- of silence.

“It’s only so terrible because of how we treat it. The world wouldn’t be so cruel to them if we approached them how we approach each other. It’s not so taboo, or unnatural, or.. Anything. It’s a part of life, after all. Some people just happen to be that way.”

At this point, Teddy wasn’t sure if he was talking about shifters, or himself in some capacity.

Dean had let go entirely, nodding sagely. He was so remarkably plain that he didn’t even hold many of his stronger opinions to heart after having them deconstructed in front of him. Maybe that was a good thing, though.

“Mm..” He hummed, “I suppose so. You know, That flight to.. Uh.. Europe, it’s awfully long. You can debrief your experience with Emily then, when I’m, y’know, sober.”

At least that was that. Teddy agreed, his hand gently squeezing the shifter that now sat quietly in it, just to reassure him he was still aware of his presence there.

“I think that’s for the best.”

He really hoped Dean would drop it, as spending up to nine hours trapped speaking to him sounded like a specifically fucked sort of hell reserved for only the cruellest of individuals.

#g/t #giant tiny #g/t ocs #gianttiny #giant/tiny #oc hosah #oc teddy #g/t writing #g/t author #gt #Puparia_tag #Sorry this took so long #I told you this part would be Uber long #But I had a lot I wanted to do #and I even still think there’s more I could’ve done with this part but again. I didn’t want to drag it out for so long #We found out about G-ma forever ago cmon just get to Italy already #Anywho

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