#the world shapers
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Long before Chibnall gave us CyberMasters, Craig Hinton dropped a series of hints in his novels The Crystal Bucephalus, The Quantum Archangel, and Synthespians™ that the Cybermen would one day evolve into peaceful and enlightened “Cyberlords”.
In accord with your thoughts, it’s worth mentioning that the War in Heaven is an idea that Craig Hinton kept coming back to, even after The Ancestor Cell. He referenced it in Aspects of Evil; in his notes for Time's Champion; and in The Quantum Archangel, where appeared in an alternate universe. There the Sixth Doctor was President of the Time Lords during the War, leading a fleet of timeships against the suspiciously-Dalek-looking Enemy. (Sound familiar?) In that universe the Cyberlords were Gallifrey's strongest allies, until time was rewritten and they were turned against.
As Hinton tells it, these Cyberlords were the ones who maintained the ArcHive which was the source for David Banks’ “ArcHive Tapes”. Perhaps they were also the final stage of evolution mentioned in the haunting ending to The World Shapers…
Which adds some support to your hypothesis. The Cybermen in The World Shapers are revealed to be the next stage of evolution of the Voord, about whom Interference tells us,
The Remote are not by any means the only media-dependent culture in our galaxy. However, they are unique among humanoid races in that each society is held together by a single media system, which the Remote have very nearly elevated to the status of godhood. The closest comparison we can find in our galaxy is one of the planets in the Voora Marinii group, whose inhabitants were for many years controlled by a ‘conscience’ not entirely unlike one of the Remote’s transmitters; but even that world had its counterculture, a secondary media system which, it’s believed, eventually led to the fall of local civilisation. Indeed, some have suggested that the entire planet may have been an experiment in sociology, engineered by whatever beings were responsible for scattering the Remote throughout known space. One would certainly have to note the fetishistic apparel worn by the followers of Marinus’s counterculture, and the receiver aerials they carried on their foreheads. In many respects, these ‘alien Voord’ might be considered the Remote’s direct ancestors…
The Cybergod
The Cybermen, cold, logical, unfeeling, yet they have a concept of God.
Now what sources suggest this
Let’s start with the comic story “Conversion” in which the eleventh Doctor forces the Cybermen to see a vision of a “fearsome Cyber-god”
Whilst this may be fictional (as suggest by TARDIS wiki) to me as the Doctor also conjures up a vision of a Roman god for the Romans they are fighting, it is reaching into there inner mind.
Now on to the Next Source, the Video Game “Edge of Reality” in this we meet the Cyberreaper
A Cyberman who seems to have no physical form but instead forms it body from the destroyed Cybermen which surrounds them. They Travel through time nullifying the Cybermen enemies by sowing chaos in there timeline. And is described as Mythical
Now my Third Source in the Cybermen Comic Strip from DWM which reveals that Mondas also had it’s own Silurians and Seas Devils, know as Lizard King’s
They ruled as God-Kings of Mondas’s past and where worshiped by their ape slaves. And these apes where partially cyber converted and the technology used to create the apes and the Cybermen came from a Time Paradox.
Now onto the final and in my opinion most important source, the Book of the War. Now you may be thinking to yourself what does Faction Paradox have to do with the Cybermen? Well we have the Silversmith Coteries and the the Order of the Iron Soul both of which to me seem like the Cybermen, but I am Talking about a Cyber God, and so I will bring up Godparent Pinocchio a being who is clearly a Cyberman who has been infected by the Faction Paradox’s Biodata virus. They take the form of skeletal machine as they have cast of their outer armour, their insides and remaining biological components visible, and upon their face a doll like mask. They are described as having spent sometime among their people trying to convince them to join the Faction. And their appearance is we are told is that of their peoples god. The elusive Cyber God.
The Cybermen having a concept of God across several sources seems to suggest that they have a mythology and a religion of some, weather they admit to it or not the evidence is there. And one theme seems common Paradox. So perhaps the Cybermen don’t worship a physical god but they worship Paradox, something which is describe in Alien Bodies and Being “Divine and Perfect” and we all know the Cybermen seek perfection. So perhaps the Cybermen themselves are just another agent of Paradox, that would explain there contradictory backstory, not to mention that the Order of the Iron Soul (the Cybermen in the afterlife) act as the enforcer’s for the Rump Parliament (the Faction in the Afterlife). So may I Tentatively suggest that the Grandfather Created the Cybermen as a kind of Joke, they have the cool logic of the Great Houses but the Relgion and beliefs of the Faction (or then House) Paradox. We know that the Drashings where created by another renegade Homeworld who joined the Faction (and may be the Doctor). So there is a precedent for the Faction creating whole races as a kind of cruel joke.
#craig hinton#cybermen#cyberlords#the quantum archangel#ArcHive Tapes#the world shapers#voord#interference#faction paradox#the remote
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Part one
shaperators 2 siglectric moongaloo
#Can you tell I have no clue how rendering works#I want to redo this and the previous one but with flat colors. I feel like the ‘cartoon shaped’ thing would work better with that style#But I’d already committed to making the first set of shaperators rendered and If I am not consistent the rat in my brain is displeased#Good practice though! Makes me want to figure out how the fuck rendering works#rain world#2024#fandom art#no significant harassment#nhs rain world#looks to the moon#lttm#LTTM rain world#nsh rw#lltm rw
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Guess who qblrsmp special addition to commemorate the serving ending. I am one of the admins Ven, I played
- Evaportation "Eva" 777-Owes-Magician
- The strange nether creature that tormented people for like a month before dying tragically
- The spirit that haunts the school gym
#qblrsmp#qsmpblrsmp#eva the most child ever#got given a creative world shaper for their 2 month birthday#got multiple people to reroll jarred lobsters with them for like 3 hours straight#gained an innate psychic ability and could beam words into peoples brains and rename them to lasagna
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Lighter options below the cut along with the images that inspired me!
Lighter options
Inspirations
#dream of the endless#dreamling#obsessive_dreamling#centennial husbands#dream of the endless x hob gadling#digital art#digital artist#king of dreams and nightmares#crown for a king#tv: the sandman#netflix the sandman#oneiros#morpheus#prince of stories#Lord of the Dreaming#World Shaper#raven wings crown
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Give Me Back My Memory!
#fantastic four#doctor doom#victor von doom#kubik#shaper of worlds#sharon ventura#johnny storm#ben grimm#marvel#marvel comics#volcana
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Idhehdj I'm so nervous making this ask cuz I don't wanna bother you if you've stopped writing for the Sleepover in the Valley event- but if you are still writing for it; what would Zemo's role in the Valley be? Love your writing so much and I hope your days are good!!!!!
Friend, you are absolutely not bothering me! I am definitely still writing for the Sleepover, it's still going until my birthday! I'm delighted you've asked about my beloved Helmut, and I'm so excited to talk about him with you!
(Hint: You might have seen him before, in a different story not quite connected to the Valley... except for him!)
Come join the Family for a Sleepover in the Valley!
Helmut Zemo is not of the Green. He is not of the Inner Dark either. Y'might've called him a demon of the crossroads, so long as you ain't talkin' right to his face, but he ain't that either — Helmut Zemo ain't even his real name, but it is the one he likes best.
Thing about this world, burnin' black rock on a backwater planet no-one woulda considered worth anythin' in the years before the planet was born, is that he did. Might've been a disaster, might've been all the fires of Hell convergin' around him, might just've been a nice vacation. Don't matter.
What matters is this: when the things that would've torn apart the edges of this universe t'fill their own bellies were sealed away, Helmut Zemo was there. An' Helmut Zemo, gatekeeper an' guardian, Baron of the Crossroads, keeper of the keys, was called to be warden of this newly built prison, to keep its secrets deep within an' keep away all who would be fool enough to crack open its shell an' release the Pandora's Box sealed inside.
And Helmut Zemo did not answer.
Figure we should all thank him for that.
Figure he'll probably ask.
#helmut zemo#helmut zemo x reader#helmut zemo x you#helmut zemo imagine#dark!helmut zemo x reader#dark!helmut zemo#Anonymous#shroombox#a family sleepover in the valley ⛰#shaper trickster and guide#might be the closest thing to the Christian Devil this world has to offer
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#avengers#korvac#watcher#odin#grandmaster#inbetweener#living tribunal#zeus#galactus#shaper of worlds#stranger#high evolutionary
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And people say they don't understand us Solasmancers. HELLO?!
lavellan: “so the fade huh. thats cool”
solas: “are you attempting to…….,,.know me”
lavellan: “yeah kinda is there something wrong with that”
solas: “…”
solas: “i see you are a mage”
lavellan: “uh huh”
solas: “have you ever been dominated in the bedroom”
#solas flirts#He is fen'harel shaper of worlds#but also JUST SOME GUY tm#he's such an awkward f*cking nerd#but also smooth as f*ck#like what the hell?
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2024 Mid-year Check In
For those readers who might be new around here, every year I make some writing related goals to try and keep my creative year on track. I also check in at the midpoint to see how things are going. So … that said, here were my goals for 2024: Revise and submit my WIP novella. Continue submitting my short fiction. Submit at least four new stories. Right now the plan is for these stories to…
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#Call of Cthulhu#Carpe Noctem#Danger in the Details#Edward WIllett#Gerald Brandt#GMB Chomichuk#Goals#GodHead#Graveyard Mind#Hauntings and Hoarfrost#Last-Ditch#Leslie Van Zwol#Megan Fennell#Mutants of the Blood Pit#On Spec#Prairiecon#Rhonda Parrish#Roleplaying Games#Shameless Self Promotion#Shapers of Worlds#Shared World#Short Stories#Stephen Kotowych#Thunder Road#Worldshapers#Writing
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I bait my hook with a community of worldbuilders. Who comes for the hook? Why? How large is this demographic? What is their primary trade?
Group Name: The Ancient Gardners Group Goals: To carefully cultivate world and realities, growing the most beautiful garden in the multiverse Number of Members: 7 Why did the Bait work? Inspired by the community, the Gardeners gathered together to speak to like minded individuals, to share their inspiration and to gain inspiration from others. Important Members ~Apollo Dunn: The primary Gardener, Apollo rules over the stars of the Garden, providing the most basic building blocks the other Gardener's use to build their own creations. ~Artemis Dunn: Twin sister to Apollo, Artemis was placed in charge of creating the planets and moons of the Garden. Each planet providing a new template for the other Gardeners to decorate. ~Marsh Temper: As the best with fluid dynamics, Marsh rules over both the waters of the Garden and the molten cores. He ensures the worlds are covered in oceans and possess magnetic fields. ~Aran Igarashi: Ruling over the weather of the Garden, Aran shapes storms and winds of the worlds created in the Garden. They love reshaping the Gas Giants of the Garden, causing them to swirl and dance. ~Mar Anaya: Takinig on the responsibility of all life in the ocean, Mar is the one that begins life in the Garden. Shaping all that lives within the ocean and deciding what eventually makes the journey to land and to Adams or Alices care. ~Adam Butcher: Adam takes on the responsability to shape all those creatures Mar sends onto him. Allowing them to grow and expand, some taking to the skies and others eventually returning to the seas. Most remain on land and an even smaller number are chosen by Alice. ~Alice Veers: Alice controls the development of Sapient life in the Garden. Chosing what life gains sapience and what way they develop. She adores seeing just what the Garden can produce and will happily show off her work to any who will listen. She encourages her work to achieve some form of space flight, allowing them to intermingle and grow even greater. Backstory: In a world of reality shapers, those that can create realities are rare and often flock together. Each individual having their own skills and talents in creation. That is exactly what brought the Gardeners together, each possessing their own talents in shaping the realities they created. The Gardner's adore their work, creating vast stretches of reality, carefully cultivated and shaped to make the most beautiful displays. Each Garden is carefully sculpted by each of them, all of them working in tandem to create a work of art each time.
#Reeled Group#A Community of Worldbuilders#Worldbuilder#A Commuity of Worldbuilders: The Ancient Gardeners#The Ancient Gardeners#Apollo Dunn#Artemis Dunn#Marsh Temper#Aran Igarashi#Mar Anaya#Adam Butcher#Alice Veers#The World of Reality Shapers
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Logan probably thinks Wade is horny for his OG Logan, and he's second best, hell less then second best. He is the worst Wolverine after all.
In theory, time line wise, the OG Logan would still be around. The movie Logan takes place in 2029 (I think?) So in 2024, there would be two Logan's. OG and Worst.
Imagine this, something happens and both OG and Worst are in the same room, sizing each other up. One a hero, the other killing so many many people. Worst Logan had a moment of thinking, yeah Wade would take the Hero to bed in a heartbeat.
Wade does show up, and doesn't give a damn about the OG, maybe makes a joke about "hey would you fuck another version of yourself' or some other kind of vulgar thing, but he only has eyes for Worst Logan. Worst Logan questions him on this, why isnt he trying to get OG Logan in bed?
And Wade asks him, "Why would I give a damn about him when I have you? Even if, Marvel Jesus forbids, something happen to you, why would I go to him? You give a damn about me, he doesn't. You saved my world with me, he didn't. You are my best Logan, he isn't."
And Logan is stuck with the realization, he's wanted. Not just because he's a Wolverine, its because he's Logan. The man who is in pain, is too angry, is sharp remarks and shaper claws. And Wade wants all that.
He is not Worst Logan, he's Wade's Logan.
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Dragon Age: the Veilguard Was Packed with Lore — But Many of Us Overlooked It
— PART ONE — [ 2 ]
Welcome back, friends and travellers. If you've been here a while, you'll know that I wrote 30,000 words of predictions in the week and a half before DA:tV released. But here's the most surprising thing—I was right, for the most part.
I spent my first Veilguard playthrough grinning (and then sobbing) at all the lore reveals. And here's the thing: I think most of us missed a lot of them, including even me.
So let's begin with...
Titans: Dark and Light, Compassion and Rage, the Eternal Hymn and its Endless Listeners (1/2)
This is your warning: This post will contain spoilers for the entirety of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, and all Dragon Age content made before Veilguard.
Alright, pals. If you've been here a while, you know how this goes. I always start by listing what we're going to cover, like anyone who's never fully recovered from academia.
Today's Discussion:
What Veilguard (Re)Taught Us about the Titans
The Titans the first Shapers of the known world.
The Titans are beings of the Abyss.
The Titans are sleeping, dormant—but alive.
Dwarves are the Titans' children, created to tend them.
The Evanuris mined the Titans' bodies to create people.
The Titans—the Earth—fought back.
What Veilguard (Re)Taught Us about the Titans
The best thing about Dragon Age, as someone who loves the series to death, is that its worldbuilding is consistent, but also bears the unique quality that we, as players, are not aware of it all. Our protagonists in each game don't know everything; the people they learn from also don't know everything. We learn what we can through codices that are all biased and need an extra layer of decoding. This is a feature, not a bug.
It also means that we did not know how to understand the Titans before. Even my 30,000 words of theorycrafting, especially my piece all about the Titans, had elements of speculation. I had to check that speculation against other sources like the Chant of Light, which is a source that we REALLY did not know how to decode when it was revealed piece by piece in DAO, DA2, World of Thedas, and Inquisition.
Here, I'm going to break it all down, piece by piece.
The Titans were the first Shapers of the (known) world.
It is said in the Descent DLC that Titans are enormous beings whose singing shapes the world. Their existence predates much of Thedas, if not all of it. The Titans are called the first Shapers for this reason, and in Veilguard it is restated several times over that they did, indeed, shape the world—for instance, by Cole in Inquisition.
"Their ancient shapers were mountains drawn of all their wills, walking their memories into valleys of the world." —Cole dialogue.
Inquisition told us so much more about the Titans than just that, though. The Titans have a realm all their own, a counterpart to the Fade, mentioned over and again in the Chant of Light and referenced as a quest name in Inquisition.
Here lies the abyss: the well of all souls.
The Titans are beings of the Abyss.
Now, it's important that I mention right here that the Chant of Light has existed long before Inquisition. In fact, its tale is what opens DA:O as the game begins. Recently Eurogamer stated that BioWare has had a massive lore document for the 20+ years of its existence, and I believe that there is no truer example of this than in the Chant of Light itself.
The Abyss, for a long time, was a mystery to us. Inquisition cleared it up a lot—not only with its game content, but with World of Thedas' publication shortly thereafter.
Not only is the Abyss referred to in many elven codices, but we go there. The key locations of the Descent DLC—the Forgotten Caverns, Bastion of the Pure, and the Wellspring—are in a region called the Uncharted Abyss.
Now, with Harding, we go deeper into the Deep Roads than the average dweller. The same is true in that instance: venture down far enough, and we reach a Titan's heart.
We find a Titan's heart there. But the Titan does not wake—none have before DA:tV, and even then, they have not fully woken. Because, for as long as we have known...
The Titans are sleeping, dormant—but alive.
"It's singing. A they that's an it that's asleep, but still making music." — Cole dialogue.
There is so much Cole dialogue in Inquisition that speaks on the sleeping Titans, on their old songs that once sang the same, on how they will never wake up, that it would be folly to try and post every codex here. Suffice it to say: Cole knows of the Titans, knows of their songs, and knows they are asleep. He is one of the pathways to our knowledge of the Titans in Inquisition, and his words are peppered throughout the game.
The Chant of Light also makes reference to a mountainous Maker, who oft speaks about a forgotten mountain. When Andraste meets the Maker "in darkness unbroken," specifically, these words are used:
The Maker Appears to Andraste (7) Eyes sorrow-blinded, in darkness unbroken There 'pon the mountain, a voice answered my call. "Heart that is broken, beats still unceasing, An ocean of sorrow does nobody drown. — Andraste 1:7
Heart that is broken, beats still unceasing — a being who has been broken, but whose heart still beats. We can hear that, in the Descent DLC.
Veilguard confirms that both sources are true through Harding, her personal quest, and the codices for the Dwarven people.
Records that exist outside of Orzammar mention "great sleeping Titans" and "the First Ancestors." — Codex Entry: Harding's Notes: Orzammar and Titans
Harding's experiences in Veilguard, in this way, serve to prove Cole right. That is a deliberate narrative choice: BioWare's way of saying, Yes, this is true. Yes, you should take Cole's take on Titans as correct.
We also know, from Cole, that this state of being is permanent. Not only are the Titans asleep, but they don't know how to wake.
Songs screaming far away. It wants to wake up but can't remember how. No one should be here. — Cole dialogue.
This becomes crucial information in Veilguard, and central to the main plot. It serves as the backdrop for what actually matters most to the characters living in Thedas right now, which is...
Dwarves are the Titans' children, created to tend them.
By now, a lot of people have seen this reveal in the art book: the dwarves were created to tend to their Titan hosts/makers. But we knew this before—we just didn't know it in context, and therefore we did not believe it to be objectively true of Thedas.
In truth, we've known about the elves and the dwarves' origin since the Chant of Light came out in full with World of Thedas volume 2.
At last did the Maker From the living world Make men. Immutable, as the substance of the earth, With souls made of dream and idea, hope and fear, Endless possibilities. — Threnodies 5:5
I talk about it in more depth in my Chant of Light dissection, but what this verse says in context is that the dwarves (the Maker's second children) are beings crafted by the maker: bodies made of lyrium, souls made of the same "dream and idea, hope and fear" as the original spirits.
This concept has already been massively hinted toward with both Valta (who has become The Oracle in DA:tV) and Dagna, who both connect to isatunoll during Descent and Inquisition's base game, respectively.
We've known about the Evanuris' horrible crimes since before Inquisition, as well, for the same reason and from the same verses in the Chant of Light.
Until, at last, some of the firstborn said: "Our Father has abandoned us for these lesser things. We have power over heaven. Let us rule over earth as well And become greater gods than our Father." (8) The demons appeared to the children of earth in dreams And named themselves gods, demanding fealty. — Threnodies 5
With the context given to us by Trespasser and Veilguard, we know without a doubt that the Evanuris are those "jealous spirits" that comprise the Maker's first children.
And just like the Chant describes, they sought to conquer the earth: the realm of the Titans.
The Evanuris mined the Titans' bodies to create people.
Trespasser taught us so much of what we needed to know about the Evanuris' and Titans' conflicts. Its codices in the Deep Roads outline how it was Mythal, specifically, creating some of the first elves in the coffins found in that zone. The Temple of Solasan features coffins of the exact same kind.
Ir sa tel'nal Mythal las ma theneras Ir san'a emma Him solas evanuris Da'durgen'lin Banal malas elgara Bellanaris, bellanaris. — Codex: Torn Notebook in the Deep Roads, Section 3
My (updated) translation: Isatunoll Mythal gives you dreams Lyrium within Becomes Solas evanuris Little stone boy You give nothing to the Titan (anymore) Forever, forever.
Trespasser reveals that Mythal mined the bodies of slain titans and rendered their demesne unto the People: she conquered Titans and used their bodies for her own ends. The hints about these actions, however, are not exclusive to Trespasser, nor to Solasan. These seeds were planted all the way back at the Temple of Mythal.
Elgar'nan, Wrath and Thunder, Give us glory. Give us victory, over the Earth that shakes our cities. Strike the usurpers with your lightning. Burn the ground under your gaze. Bring Winged Death against those who throw down our work. Elgar'nan, help us tame the land.
This codex to Elgar'nan makes reference to Elgar'nan giving victory over the Earth (capital-E, the Titans). Trespasser would follow this up with much context—that it was Mythal who was first known to have slain Titans, "rendering their demesne unto the People."
I theorized that Mythal's mining of Titans for lyrium to make elvhen bodies was what angered the Titans, based on codices in Trespasser and the Temple of Solasan. (I go into much more depth there!) Veilguard confirms this theory in Solas' Memory #4: A Memory of Manifestation.
Solas: I have the Fade. Besides, this talk of taking on a solid form. When you took the glowing stone to build your body, did the earth not shake? Mythal: The lyrium gives us the strength we had when we were of the Fade. We are the best of physical and spirit.
Mythal's crime was what took the war with the Titans in a new, darker direction. It was what would set off the chain of events that would change the very nature of the world—and it was foreshadowed, back in Inquisition, by Cole.
The Titans—the Earth—fought back.
"They made bodies from the earth, and the earth was afraid. It fought back, but they made it forget." — Cole dialogue.
In this post, I theorized that it was Solas' creation itself that caused the first Titan to "go red." That is to say, to change its nature and fight back. I used codices from Trespasser and Solasan to get there, as well as one paragraph from World of Thedas and this codex on Fen'Harel that describe the Forgotten Ones as "beings of terror, malice, spite, and pestilence."
Thinking about those words, and specifically terror, I read the codex in the secret Deep Roads room in Trespasser with fresh perspective.
For a moment, the scent of blood fills the air, and there is a vivid image of green vines growing and enveloping a sphere of fire. The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic. Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast.
Terror. The first of the turned Titans. The fire/plant/ice imagery also caught my eye, and when I went back to Solasan to check, there were many hints that this was, indeed, where Terror came into being. (For more, go look at the most recently linked post in this section!)
Huge implications for Solas aside, what this codex taught me is that Titans' natures could change. This was confirmed in Veilguard many times over, yes—but my point here is that Inquisition taught this to me, just a few days before I gained the context of Veilguard. This was never a retcon! However, this lore plays exactly to BioWare's rules: we did not have the full context, and so almost no one read that Deep Roads codex as it was meant to be interpreted—including me, the first few times I read it!
It was only when I'd seen the achievement icons before Veilguard's release that it all clicked for me. All of the lore of Inquisition and everything before it made sense. That was never a bug, never a retcon, but a genius twist on BioWare's behalf: one that almost no one guessed at for an entire decade.
One that changes everything.
Titans, we know for certain now, behave as spirits. Obscure hints in World of Thedas, Inquisition, and the previous games have been confirmed in Veilguard. This new understanding changes not just the Titans, not just the dwarves, but reframes everything we know about the entire history of Thedas and how its magic system works.
______
Thank you for reading! It means a lot when people engage with these. And don't worry: I'm not nearly through with them. It's taken me a while to compile everything, but with more of Veilguard added to the wiki every day, it's a lot easier to compile things for these posts!
(Immense thanks to the wiki staff, of course. <3)
Up Next: Titans and Spirits are far more similar than we think, and it means everything.
#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da:tv#da4#da:v#da theory#da meta#dragon age theory#dragon age meta#dragon age theorycrafting#dragon age lore#dragon age titans#harding#scout lace harding#harding dragon age#solas#solas dragon age#mythal#mythal dragon age
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Chapter 2 - Under My Skin
Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist
Author's Note: If you're mad at me for getting any lore or myths wrong through this story, consider that Supernatural themselves cannot track their own lore, and I'm doing my goddamn best.
Chapter title from Akaska Sad by Rina Sawayama
Word Count: 15.7k
Chapter Summary/Warnings: Dean and John take on an odd, difficult case, and you try—and fail—to avoid them. Usual warnings.
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, angst, fluff, monster of the week.
Chapter 1 - Chapter 3
Read on A03!
Lately, Dean’s life was fucking lonely. It was made of long car rides where Dad wouldn’t speak to him, countless cases where he felt almost useless, and restless nights where he’d get up to use the bathroom, look at the couch, and feel a little piece of him die again when Sam wasn’t there.
Every town looked the same. Every girl did too. He didn’t try to talk to them—he never had—but there was still something in him that was so furiously lonely, he was burning through chicks night by night in a desperate plea that they’d offer him something. Sometimes they’d talk to him, and that would become enough. He was never really all that interested—they all had the same voice and same words and same boring, apple pie lives that Dean would never get to be a part of—but it carried him over until the next one. Until he and Dad got the monster, left town, and nobody there would have to spare Dean a thought for the rest of their lives.
He tried to make them remember. He poured all he had to spare into the sex, and making it good enough that maybe—when each woman was married with kids and some sort of boring office job—they’d still use the memory of him to get off. They might not remember his name, or his voice, or his face, but they’d remember how he made them feel. And that did a little more to curb the loneliness. The pit like feeling of uselessness.
But sometimes he’d strike out, and be forced to wake up on an empty, stiff motel mattress. Dad would already be gone—getting coffee or working there leads or just fucking sick of Dean not being Sam—and it would only be Dean in the whole world. And that wasn’t enough. It couldn’t just be Dean. It’s never supposed to just be Dean. When it’s just him, everything gets too loud and too quiet and so hot, but also massive and empty and cold. Corners are shaper and knives are duller and colors are all muted, because only Dean can see them and he doesn’t deserve to.
And when that happened, sometimes he’d grab his phone and consider calling Sammy. He’d stare at the number—hidden from Dad with a fake contact, just in case—and allow his thumb to hover over the call button, but never press it. He couldn’t. He’d have no way to get to California, Sam probably wouldn’t want to see him, and Dad would freakin’ kill him for even considering it. Dean couldn’t even say Sam’s damn name without Dad’s jaw ticking and an unsettling tension falling over the room.
So Dean stayed lonely. He worked every case lonely, found every bed lonely, and woke every morning lonely.
But he wasn’t lonely in his dreams. It didn’t matter why he wasn’t, but he wasn’t. That, at the very least, was something Dean could count on. When he slept, he’d never be lonely, because-
It didn’t matter. They were just dreams, and dreams didn’t mean shit. Even it had been the same person starring in them every night—the same beautiful, twisted salvation to the pit that had formed inside of Dean, that he loathed and craved and couldn’t figure out how to get rid of—for the past year, Dean wasn’t some crystals and tea leaves chick who was going to try and find meaning in his freakin’ dreams.
This lady seemed to be, though. She was dressed like she belonged at Woodstock, there were dreamcatchers and random dried plants all over her house, and she kept trying to offer Dean a palm reading. Telling him his aura was strong. That didn’t fucking mean anything, because that shit wasn’t real, and Dean should know. His whole life was figuring out what things were real, and what was fake.
This magic, witchy bullshit was fake.
The ghost haunting Woodstock Chick’s house was very real.
“You know,” Woodstock frowned at Dean and Dad from across the table. “I’m a little surprised you’re listening to me.”
Dad shrugged. “Well, ma’am it’s routine to investigate complaints. It ain’t our job to judge, just hear what you’ve got for us. Now, we’ve got the objects flyin’ around-“
“It’s just,” Woodstock let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head slightly. “I’ve been filing these complaints for weeks, and all I’ve gotten is made fun of by my neighbors. Then, suddenly, you’re taking me seriously? Sending three officers to talk to me-“
Dean cleared his throat, shooting Dad a weary look. “Sorry, did you say three?”
“Yeah. You two, plus the one yesterday. Young woman, with the rings and lip gloss. She was gorgeous, good skin and hair, bright aura, just like yours.” she smiled at Dean as she continued. “She kind of looked like a,” Woodstock frowned, tilting her head. “Like a cat.”
Dad scowled. “A cat.”
Woodstock nodded. “You know, just like how he,” she nodded at Dean, and he frowned. “Looks like a puppy. It not about their faces, it’s about their energy-“
“And you’re saying this chick had the energy of a cat?” Dean asked, not allowing himself to dwell on the puppy thing. He had too much shit to worry about already. “Ma’am, we-“
“We’re takin’ your complaints seriously, ma’am.” Dad’s voice was firm over Dean’s, and Dean felt a cringe of shame in his chest. “Now, tell us about the lights, and we’ll let you keep goin’ with your day.”
Woodstock continued, Dad asking more careful, smart questions as Dean sat in silence, and the lady’s problem was pretty obviously a ghost. Kind of a douchebag of a ghost, but just a ghost. The hard part was just gonna be figuring out who it was, because Woodstock was insisting nobody had ever died in this house, that she had no dead relatives, and that she’d never even killed anyone.
That last question did get them kicked out, though.
“We ain’t accusin’ you of anything, ma’am.” Dad remained in the threshold of Woodstock’s door, holding the angry woman’s gaze. “It’s a just part of our report-”
Woodstock let out a dry laugh. “Nice try, officer, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but I do know that’s a lie. If you come back, come back with a warrant, or-“ Woodstock paused, looking between Dean and Dad. “Send Officer Brown. She was nicer, and didn’t ask me stupid questions.”
The door slammed, Dad groaned—running a hand over his face before stomping back to the Impala—and Dean was frozen in place as Woodstock’s words rang a loud, clean, golden bell in his brain. When Dad shouted at him to haul ass he managed to move, but barely. Everything was far away, because things that were supposed to be trapped in dreams were starting to follow Dean into the real world. They weren’t supposed to. Dean had promised himself he’d keep Her trapped down, where he never had to think about her until sleep dragged Her back to the surface of his brain.
And that hadn’t really been working. Sometimes he’d smell fruity perfume on a woman, and She’d flash in front of his eyes. Sometimes he’d have some random girl next to him or over him or under him, and they’d moan, and it would sound like a siren. The worst was when someone would look at him and a tiny, traitorous asshole voice would whisper She’d look at you better. She’d be better. You’re a piece of shit, Dean Winchester, because She’d been the freakin’ best and you left her.
He hadn’t left Her. He’d escaped her. Outsmarted whatever bullshit she’d been trying to pull on him, whatever scam She’d been running. And it didn’t fucking matter that his brain was clinging onto every piece of Her he’d gotten to see that day—that the bells were made of Her beautiful voice saying Brown’s a cop—because she’d probably stopped hunting. Realized it wasn’t the fun little rush She thought it was and crawled back home to her fancy, stupid life.
But She’d told him she’d been hunting since she was fifteen.
That had probably been a lie too.
It hadn’t sounded like a lie.
Well, maybe She’d just been an awesome liar.
Dean needed to snap the hell out of it. He’d tread down this path countless times, the voice—it seemed to live in his chest, a little to the right of his heart—trying to work out what that whole thing had been, and a good reason for Dean to track Her down and ask if She’d felt it too.
But She’d been playing him, and he never wanted to see Her drop-dead gorgeous face again. It didn’t matter what he’d felt, because Dad was right. It had probably been some sort of trick, made of all those pretty lies and words She’d been using on him. So Dean didn’t mention to Dad that Brown had been one of Her aliases, because he wasn’t supposed to remember anything about Her. Dad was seething in the driver’s seat—grumbling about lone, stupid hunters interfering in their case—but She wasn’t here, probably, so it didn’t matter anyway.
Another three days passed, and they still couldn’t figure out who the ghost was. Everyone Woodstock knew was clean—and claimed she was too—and everyone in this town died of old age like a bunch of freaking suckers, so they had nothing. This ghost couldn’t chill the fuck out, Woodstock had been telling anyone who would listen about how it had started to throw plates at her head—how she didn’t feel safe—so Dad had them on rotating watches. Keeping an eye on the house from the forest in case Woodstock started screaming while the other kept working it, searching for just one goddamn idea of who the ghost could be.
They hadn’t figured out who the other hunter was, either, but Dean was growing more and more certain it might be Her. He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of perfectly styled shiny hair on the street. He was either going batshit crazy, or he’d heard Her voice in a corner store while he was buying aftershave. And a feeling like gravity had reformed in his eyes, bringing his attention to shadows that might be Her and making his every nerve flare when he smelled something sweet. Most of all, he’d been in the motel parking lot a handful of times and felt it. That odd, light feeling that had surrounded him when he’d met Her, making it so easy to breathe he’d been certain he’d been doing it wrong before. That he’d started to do it wrong again, after She’d left. It had felt so good and been so impossibly to duplicate—Dean had really tried to, as well, in body after body after body—but it was back like a fucking asteroid, crashing into him and obliterating everything he’d thought had been right.
But he hadn’t told Dad. To start, Dad would look at him like he was a fucking idiot, and ask if Dean had watched a chick flick while drinking one too many beers. Then Dean would mumble no, and Dad would roll his eyes and tell him to get his shit together, because they had a job to do.
Dean could’ve told Sammy. He would’ve listened, made a little fun of Dean, and then started to ask a bunch of questions about what made Dean think it was Her. Maybe Sam would have found an explanation about how the vampire baby made men go crazy or something. Maybe She’d been a monster, and Sam would figure out what kind the moment Dean explained it.
But Sam wasn’t here, and Dean didn’t have any real evidence. He hadn’t seen that fancy car She’d been driving, and when he’d very casually asked the front desk of their motel—the only one if town—if anyone with Her name was in a room he’d gotten a no, but she’d probably be in a real hotel. With good water pressure and room service and little shampoo bottles that she didn’t need.
She hadn’t been in a fancy hotel last year. But that had probably just been another part of the scam.
So he didn’t tell Dad. Dean just took his shifts to watch Woodstock, worked the case, and fucking prayed they’d wrap this up and he could forget the whole thing. Dad would find something soon, they’d gank the ghost, and it would be done.
Dad had even said he had a new lead, when they’d swapped the watch. Dean had dropped off the car and gotten orders to stay here until Dad got back, to call only if it was an absolute emergency, and to message if he thought of anything new.
He’d been trying to. Dad was off working the lead, and Dean really wanted to help, but no matter how long leaned against the trees—watching Woodstock’s house and frowning into the air—he couldn’t think of shit. His brain felt numb, because this was freaking boring, and none of it made sense. It was just a ghost, it shouldn’t be this hard. Shit, with another hunter on the case, the asshole should’ve been ash days ago. Maybe it had been Her, and she’d realized they were in town, and She’d left. Been worried they’d try to turn her in for her bullshit, even though She had no way to know they’d figured her out.
Maybe She hadn’t wanted to see Dean. Which shouldn’t bother him at all, but the thought made his stomach turn and heart split down the center. He didn’t get it. It shouldn’t hurt, because he sure as hell didn’t want to see Her. He was looking everywhere for Her, but he didn’t want to see Her. He didn’t. He didn’t-
He did. He could. That was fucking Her. Walking up the steps of Woodstock’s house with a large bag, knocking on the door and being welcomed in with a warm smile Woodstock hadn’t offered Dad or Dean.
She looked hot. Dean wasn’t sure it was possible for Her not to—She’d even looked sexy covered in blood—but she’d somehow gotten hotter. She wasn’t wearing that horrible jacket anymore, but well-fitting, casual clothing that She moved so easily in. Clothing that suited Her, that She looked comfortable in, that Dean wanted to touch to see what fabric She liked. It would tell him more about Her, about what she deemed suitable for herself, what she enjoyed, what she wanted. And if She allowed him close enough, maybe Dean could rip it off Her body-
Fuck. It was happening again. Dean had just looked at Her and she’d dragged him under some sort of trance. The feeling had returned in full force, like an inevitable kind of cancer over his brain that Dean didn’t know how to cure. Part of him didn’t even want to cure it—it felt right and natural and filled up that pit with a shifting light that was shaped like Her—but he had to. He was useless like this. Useless to the hunt, useless to himself, useless to Dad. Dad would smack him on the head and tell him to get a goddamn grip, because a girl wasn’t worth falling down for. Dean’s job wasn’t staring at pretty things and trying to make sense of them, it was creating ash and spilling blood. He was a solider, not a prince who was going to save the damsel.
And She wasn’t a damsel. She was a bitch. The prettiest, funniest, smartest bitch Dean had ever met, who seemed like Cinderella but was really a stepsister. Dean didn’t need Her, and he shouldn’t be sparing Her a single thought at all. He should just text Dad that She was the other hunter, that She seemed tight with Woodstock, and that She’d been in the house for a long time.
A really long time.
Too long. It had been almost an hour since She’d disappeared off the porch, and unless she was there for a sleepover, she should’ve been out by now. Maybe the ghost had gotten the jump on Her and Woodstock. Maybe Dean had to go in and save Her, not because it was Her, but because that was his job. And maybe She’d thank him, and kiss him because She was so grateful he’d put his grudge aside to save her life, and it would be awesome and She’d taste like sugar and be soft under his hands-
“Dean Winchester.”
He nearly leapt out of his goddamn skin, spinning around with wide-eyes and clenched fists that couldn’t seem to remember how to fly and land square in Her pretty, mocking face. She was standing barely three feet away, Her arms crossed and brows raised, her bag nowhere in sight.
“Fucking hell, Princess.“ The nickname slipped out of him without thought, because She really did look like royalty. He knew why that was now—easy to look smoking hot and fancy when you had the money for it—but it didn’t change the fact. Her lips were glossy, her eyes seemed to shimmer with that pretty color that washed over his dreams, that causal clothing really did look like it was made to touch Her, and Dean couldn’t believe he was jealous of a fabric-
“What are you doing here.” Her voice still had that haunting, angel-like quality, but it was flat. Bored. Almost dead.
He gave Her a smirk, and he wasn’t sure why it hurt that She barely even blinked back. “Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing. What could a bitch like you be doing in a place like this?“
Her eyes narrowed, and Dean could’ve sworn She curled a little into her body. “I asked first.”
Dean shrugged. “I asked louder.”
“I- You know what? I don’t care.” She stood a little taller, her voice somehow growing colder. “Whatever you’re up to, stop. This is my hunt. I got here first, I’m handling it, and you’re only going to slow me down.”
Dean let out a dry, humorless laugh. “Ghosts aren’t really gonna respect dibs, sweetheart.”
Her eyes flashed with something Dean didn’t really understand. “They don’t, but I’m not that worried about it, De. Like I said, I’m handling it.”
He glared at Her, ignoring how something in his chest was humming, trying to get Her to call him De over and over again forever. “Sorry,” he drawled Her name, leaning forward and trying not to think about how she didn’t flinch away. How he could smell that same, fruity perfume and sugar from before. “I guess we’ll just have to let the better hunter win.”
She raised Her chin, holding his gaze. “I’m warning you, Winchester. Leave.“
He chuckled. “I’m good, Princess. Think I’ll pass, but trying to warn me was cute-”
“Listen to me.” She hissed, leaning close enough that Dean could pick out every small bump on Her face, isolate every color in Her eyes. “I’m not asking. Go back to Sam and John, tell them you figured it out and it’s done, and get the fuck out of my way.”
Something brittle snapped in Dean’s spine, his jaw clenching as the words pushed out of him like vomit. “Sam’s not with us. He left.”
He didn’t know why the fuck he’d tell Her that. She wouldn’t care. She seemed to hate Dean as much as he hated Her—probably bitter he’d got the up on Her, didn’t want him to mess with whatever scam she was trying to pull on Woodstock—and She’d met Sam twice. He shouldn’t have told Her that, because Dad hated even talking about it. Hell, Bobby barely knew about it. It was family business, and She wasn’t family, and that perfume had to be some sort of pheromone because it was making Dean a freaking dumbass-
“Is he okay?”
Dean blinked at Her, and her expression wasn’t soft, but it wasn’t empty. She didn’t seem like a statue anymore, and whatever was behind Her eyes looked real. Just as real as it had been last year, like there was a whole universe inside of Her that Dean had wanted to explore. To find out what She was made of, and if it was as similar to heaven as it seemed.
It wasn’t. Dean knew that, in his working brain—rather than his heart that stretched for Her and his dick that ached for Her to be just a little closer—She wasn’t heaven. She was temptation in a beautiful form, determined to make Dean weak and pathetic and soft, everything he couldn’t allow himself to be. But he still told Her the truth. His voice lower and without any venom, his body tensed slightly, his brain spinning as the strange look in Her eyes seemed to glow, dragging the words out of him.
“He’s fine. Off at college. Decided he didn’t want-“ Dean cut himself off with a small shake of his head. He wouldn’t be that weak or dumb, exposing a gap in his armor she’d use to make him crumble to his knees. “He was done hunting. Wanted a normal life.”
She was just looking at him. Scanning over him carefully, holding one of Her own hands and just fucking staring, like Dean might be an illusion or his words might be a lie, and She was trying to look for evidence of it.
“That sucks.” She finally said, and it sounded so real. Like She might actually give a shit that Dean was lonely. That Sam had left him. “Sorry.”
“I don’t need your pity, sweetheart-“
“I don’t pity you.” She snapped, Her features growing harsh once more. “I’m saying that fucking sucks, I know you cared about him. I’m apologizing because it’s probably complicated and messy and not all that fun to deal with.”
Dean scowled, something raw snapping along his heartstrings. “I’m doing just fine, Princess. I’ve got my dad, and Sammy’s safe in California. He’s still my brother, and it’s not like he’s fucking dead. So I’m good.”
She raised her brows, an amusement that made Dean’s gut boil written over Her face. “Yeah, you really sound it.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Watch it-“
“Or what.” She hissed, leaning forward until Dean was almost drowning in Her. “You gonna run to John and tell him that the little moroi bitch is bullying you? That you need to hurry up on the hunt, because you can’t stand that I’m going to get this thing all by my fucking self-“
“All by-“ Dean stared at Her. “You’re still hunting alone?”
Her face twisted, her words hushed and furious. “That is none of your fucking business-“
“It is if you’re going to get yourself killed-“
She snorted. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t pretend like you give a shit about me-“
“I give a shit if you end up monster chow.” Dean sneered, pretending something wasn’t cracking along his ribs at the certain, settled hatred in Her voice. “The job is saving people, not choosing who. You try and jump in front of that ghost, I’ll stop you-“
“Please,” She scoffed, narrowing her eyes. “I’d like to see you fucking try.”
Dean’s breathing was ragged. His heart was violent in his chest, and his hands were curled at his side, and She was so fucking infuriating. Dean shouldn’t give a shit about Her, but his skin felt like it was being flayed at the thought of Her in danger or pain, and She shouldn’t sound like she was wounded by being the little moroi bitch, because She was, and Dean wanted to grab Her by the neck and slam his lips to Her’s-
“Stay out of my way, Winchester.” She hissed, still so close, and looking so warm and soft, and Dean was so close to figuring out what the hell that fruit was-
She was gone. She leaned back in a rough, sharp movement—like Dean was a magnet and She was only just strong enough to pull herself away—and just walked away.
He might be stuck here forever—on the edge of the woods outside Woodstock’s haunted house—his body trying to cling to her and his brain trying to erase Her forever. It was something he’d been trying to do for a year, something he’d never managed, and something that was made so much more difficult by the fact that She looked back. That their eyes met one last time, and it was like lightning through his blood.
He would have chased Her in Dad hadn’t called right then. He spent the next two days trying to convince himself he wouldn’t have, but it was a fucking lie. He wasn’t sure what he would have done when he caught Her, but he would’ve chased Her. Rushed after Her and asked why had She lied, why did She look like she wanted to punch Dean when She’d been the one to hurt him, if She had looked back because she could feel it too. Feel the gravity, feel the drug, feel the storm that threatened to consume Dean in Her name. Ask if She dreamt of him, ask if She saw him in shadows, ask if She was a monster and beg her to set him free.
But he hadn’t chased after Her. So it didn’t matter. Dad had picked Dean up—long after She’d been gone, Dean still rooted in place, his head still spinning—and he hadn’t seen Her since, so it didn’t matter. Maybe She’d left. Maybe She’d just skipped town, and Dean would never see her again.
That shouldn’t feel horrible. It should be relieving, the idea that he’d won. That he’d gotten the hunt, gotten Her away from him, gotten a justification for why he hadn’t told Dad he’d seen Her. It would mean that She was gone, and Dean could pretend that had never happened at all. But it still felt like fucking shit, and Dean couldn’t figure out how to stop it. It ate away at his brain as the days blurred together, and they hit dead end after dead end. She remained at least out of sight, Dean still didn’t tell Dad that She’d ever been in town, and the hauntings just fucking stopped. No more lights, no more temperature drops, no more screaming Woodstock.
It couldn’t have been Her. There were no graveyard disturbances, She hadn’t entered the house since their conversation, and it wasn’t like the EMF was gone. On the second day of no activity they’d had broken into Woodstock’s house, checked to see if it was gone, and it wasn’t. It had just stopped haunting.
Dad was losing his mind. He was barely speaking to Dean, shooting down all his ideas, and mostly just reading book after book and grumbling that it didn’t make any goddamn sense. Ghosts just didn’t stop, they still didn’t know who the hell the son of a bitch was, and they couldn’t leave until this thing was dealt with.
Dean suggested drinks—the motel room was starting to feel like a cage, they both needed it, and maybe the answer would be one or two bottles deep—and Dad had grunted an agreement. It was a small victory, but a victory all the same. Maybe Dean could find a woman there to distract from this disaster, distract him from Her-
He didn’t need to be distracted from Her. There was nothing to distract from. Dean might be dreaming about Her still—dreams where he did grab Her and kiss her, She fell to her knees and he went right down with Her, and it was fucking awesome—but She wasn’t anywhere real around him, so it didn’t matter. Every shadow on the darkened street was shaped like Her, but shadows weren’t real. That gravity in Dean’s chest was trying pull and pry Dean open so She could take a look, but that was just an emotion, and Dean wasn’t about to be some sort of pussy about his feelings. The whole bar seemed to smell like that strange fucking fruit and sugar, but Dean could just be losing his mind. The woman in the booth looked exactly like Her, and sat with her knees tucked up like she did, and was wearing the same shirt-
Shit.
“Dad, I don’t feel great, maybe we could-“
“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”
Dean felt the blood drain from his face. Dad had seen Her. His face was drawn in a scowl, the glare he used during hunts was furrowing at his brow, and there was a glint in his eyes that set everything on edge.
He was fucked. She was going to tell Dad they’d run into each other, Dad would fucking murder him for not mentioning it, and She’d just fuck off and get herself killed with the ghost. Dean didn’t know why that last one felt just as terrifying as Dad’s wrath, but it might actually be worse. Dad wouldn’t actually kill him. He’d get yelled at and probably banned from driving for a month, but Dad would never hurt him.
Dad would hurt Her. He was already stalking over to Her booth—She hadn’t even looked up, which didn’t increase Dean’s faith in Her lone hunting abilities—with white-knuckled fists that would have probably collided with Her face if she wasn’t a chick. Dean barely ran after him in time for them to reach the booth, to stop at Dad’s side right as he slammed his hand on the table.
She flinched slightly as she looked up, and the air around them became wired and electric.
“What the hell are you doin’ here, girl.” Dad lowered himself down to Her eye level as he spat the words out. “Ain’t no way you’re in town just by fuckin’ coincidence.”
She huffed a dry laugh, holding Dad’s gaze as she answered. “Not a coincidence. Just me, having the worst luck in the world.” Her attention finally turned to Dean, he felt alive, and Her words remained just as flat as before. “Hiya, Deano. You look like shit.” She looked back to Dad, her pretty lips curling into a smirk. “You both look like shit.”
“You think you’re smart-“
She snorted, cutting Dad off with a bored grin. “I am smart. Sit down, you’re drawing attention.”
She waved a loose hand around the bar, and She was right. People were wide eyed, watching them nervously, and they didn’t need that. Attention was bad in this line of business. It was downright dangerous. And Dad knew that, so he gave Dean a curt nod to listen to Her, and slid into the booth once Dean was settled across from Her.
It was a little freaking insane, how She only got prettier. How in the low, golden light of the bar she seemed to have a halo around Her head. But it wasn’t real. Nothing about Her was real, and Dean would have to remember that. Dad was real, was looking at Her like she’d tried to key the Impala, and Dean needed to figure out where that hatred for Her had gone and bring it back. Convince Her to skip town—because She’d get in the way, not because the idea of Her being thrown across a room by a spirit made him sick—and cover his own ass, because he was still in danger of Her snitching on him.
But She was hardly looking at him. Her attention was divided between Dad, her own hands, and the neon red, cherry and ice and paper umbrella drink in front of Her-
“Are you drinking a fucking Shirley Temple?” Dean spoke before he could stop himself, and She shot him a glare.
“You got a problem with that, Winchester?”
“Nah,” Dean shrugged, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I just didn’t know you were that much a prissy little princess-“
“They’re good drinks, dick.” She snapped. “It’s called having fun. Something you two buttheads,” She gestured between Dean and Dad. “Clearly know nothing about.”
Dean learned forward, bracing his elbows on the table. “I know plenty about having fun, sweetheart. Some might call me a master at it.“
She snorted. It was freaking adorable. “Some might call you a manwhore-“
“Watch yourself, girl.” Dad snapped, and Dean’s whole body tightened. Everything was rigid from the fury on Dad’s face—all directed at Her, all sick in Dean’s stomach—and raw from Her words.
Manwhore. She wasn’t wrong, and he’d been called a lot worse, but it still stung like a freaking hornet along the cavity of his chest. There was no way for Her to know that, unless Dean’s whole face just screamed lonely. Lonely fucking trash to be used up and forgotten. It didn’t. He was so goddamn careful to ensure it didn’t. Even Dad didn’t know the extent of that pit, so it was impossible for Her to, and why did it feel like She’d just punched him in the gut-
“Listen to me,” Dad hissed Her full name, and it was a low threat that snapped Dean back into his body. “Skip town. This is our case, and we don’t need some fancy brat gettin’ in our way.”
She glanced at Dean, and he almost didn’t catch the small frown on Her face. It was fleeting—barely a flash on Her gorgeous features—but strong. Reaching all the way to Her eyes and filling them with an emotion Dean didn’t understand.
But then it was gone. And when She looked back to Dad her face was in bored and taunting once more.
“I’m hate to break it to you, buddy, but ghosts don’t care about dibs.” Her lips curled into a smirk, and this was it. She was going to rat Dean out, he was dead-
“Lucky for you,” She picked up Her drink and leaned back in her seat. “It’s not a ghost. So maybe if you ask it really nicely, it’ll refuse to be killed by anyone but you.”
Dad scowled. “What the hell are you talkin’ about, girl. This ain’t another moroi thing, this is a fuckin’ ghost-“
“It’s not.” She grinned at them from around Her straw, and shit She had nice lips. They were a little puckered, Dean could still remember how soft they’d been, and they’d probably look even better wrapped around Dean’s-
“Whatever game you’re playin’,” Dad hissed at Her, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. “Cut the shit and say what you mean.”
She hummed, still wearing a bright, mocking grin. “You think it’s a ghost.”
“It is a ghost,” Dean muttered, watching Her carefully. “You’re not stupid, Princess, EMF plus random flying plates equals evil Casper.”
“That’s true.” She dropped Her empty glass on the table, leaning toward with a shrug. “But it’s still not a ghost.”
“You heard Dean, girl, it’s a ghost, plain and goddamn simple.”
“Have you seen it?”
Dean glanced at Dad, and he’d bet a lot of money that their expressions were identical in pure freaking confusion.
“We don’t have time,” Dad grunted, his voice low and edged. “For fucking riddles. You-“
“It’s not a riddle.” She raised her brows, picking a cherry out of the glass. “Have either of you actually seen your alleged ghost? Did Maggie Rose tell you she saw it?”
Maggie Rose. Woodstock. The woman who would’ve definitely seen the ghost by now.
And who hadn’t mentioned it a single goddamn time.
“I’m guessing you haven’t found remains either.” She hummed, picking the cherry off the stem with Her teeth. “And you’ve been looking for who the ghost could be, but you’re not finding anything. You’ve been looking in the wrong place. Poltergeist’s don’t have to haunt the places where they died, and they often have little to no connection with their victims.”
Dad’s eyes narrowed. “This thing ain’t nearly violent enough to be a poltergeist-“
“That’s because it’s been getting enough attention so far. Maggie’s been screaming about it, and it’s found that satisfying enough.” She spun the stem between two fingers, looking between Dad And Dean with a triumphant grin. “Poltergeist.”
Dean was pretty sure Dad was going to leap across the table and strangle Her. His jaw was clenched, his body stiff at Dean’s side, and his words—when he finally spoke—were pushed through his teeth.
“Dean.” He grunted, not looking away from Her. “I have to make a call to your uncle. Deal with her.”
“Yes, sir.” Dean nodded, and Dad slid out of the booth without another word. Leaving Dean.
But not alone.
Dean blinked at Her. Dad was gone, and She hadn’t mentioned that they’d seen each other before. Shit, She hadn’t even mentioned Sam, and his obvious absence. Dad would just chalk that up to Her being a bitch, but Dean was clinging to it. She should’ve said it. She had every reason to. But She fucking hadn’t, and some part of Dean was desperate to know why. To know if it was because the idea of him in trouble made Her feel like her skin was being ripped to shreds. It felt like that for Dean, whenever he was reminded that She hunted alone. Whenever a memory of Her covered in blood flashed through his brain.
And he could still feel it. Feel the electricity in the air that was so different than before. It was charged and tense, but in a way that made Dean feel like he was breathing. He could feel things that didn’t make sense, but they were right. She was right. Across the table, running Her hands over her calves and watching Dean like he might try to take a bite of Her, She still felt like she could fit against him like another piece.
“You’re not going to deal with me.”
Dean frowned at Her. She wasn’t meeting his gaze, poking the paper umbrella around the glass. “What?”
“What your dad said,” She muttered. “He told you to deal with me. You won’t.”
“What makes you think that?”
She finally looked at him. Really looked at him, for the first time since last year. On the curb She’d seen him, but not looked at him. Not like before. Not like that. Where Dean felt like She was seeing right into the pit—how empty and fucking pathetically worthless he was—and filling it up with something peaceful and silver and molten in his gut, like a melted star lighting him up from the inside. He wished it was real. Dean wished, more than almost fucking anything, that he didn’t know that this was part of Her scam or game. That She was looking at him like that because he made Her feel stripped and raw too. Because She saw something in him she wanted, and just kept digging for more without fear of him breaking Her.
But he also wished he wasn’t so fucking lonely that he could care about that. That he could get a hold over himself and just deal with Her. That She wasn’t giving him a strangely soft smile, and he wasn’t caving from how it made his heart freaking glow like a night-light.
“Because,” She said, like it was simple. Like Dean should just know what she meant. “You won’t.”
“I might.” He leaned forward, holding Her eyes on his as he smirked. “You’re putting yourself in danger, Princess. Dealing with you would be the responsible thing to do.”
“Really.” Her voice was dry, disbelieving. “How would you deal with me, Dean Winchester?”
God, She was trying to kill him. She was looking at him like that, and there was a smug smirk on Her full lips, and Dean had spent the last year hating Her but now all he could think about was how the universe that existed in Her eyes, and how he wanted to see every inch of it. Bare skin and brilliant eyes that had been phantoms in is sleep, now real and touchable. He had a million ways he’d like to deal with Her, and all of them started with those blinding fucking eyes. Rolling back in Her head and fluttering under him and sparkling on his. Her voice saying his name like it was more than just a breath, like it was the blood in Her veins-
“I’m afraid that’s top secret, Princess.” Dean dragged himself together to shoot Her a wink, and he could’ve sworn she flushed. “But I’ll tell you if you give me that answer you owe me.”
She gave him a strange look. “We were even.”
Dean shook his head. “You had asked me two questions. I only asked you one.”
There was a small, frowning pout on Her lips, and Dean realized She might be trying to work out if he was lying. He wasn’t. That conversation lived in the corners of his brain all the goddamn time, he couldn’t forget it if he tried. And he had. He’d bet his life that he was right. She’d asked him two questions about Dad and Sam, called him De, and his whole brain had short-circuited. He’d only realized on the drive back, and he’d been planning to use that to try and get Her to do the game again, but-
But She’d been tricking him. A con-woman and spoiled bitch who had been planning to use him. He’d seen the evidence. He knew that’s what was real. That between them, Dean wasn’t the liar.
He should care about that more. He should stand up and leave, or threaten Her to get the hell out of Dad’s way, or at least stop fucking smiling at Her. But She’d nodded, dropping Her knees down to lean closer, and he was drugged on Her voice and smell and face.
And he stayed.
“Fine.” She said, and Dean felt a thrill-like rush through his body. She was so pretty. “Go.”
He didn’t have a question ready. He hadn’t really expected Her to agree. But She had, and now he was staring at Her, trying to find something. Anything at all that didn’t make him look like a gaping dumbass, lost in Her eyes and high on her smell. He should ask everything he’d wanted to scream at Her on the street, and throw in a shout of why the hell didn’t you tell my dad I knew you were here. It didn’t make any goddamn sense that She hadn’t, and Dean needed to know why. That’s what he should ask. He should just freaking ask why.
“Where are you staying?”
Son of a bitch. That wasn’t what he’d meant to ask, now She was staring at him like he was some kind of creep or asshole, and Dean had to figure out how the hell he could justify asking that.
“For the case,” he added quickly, his voice drained of most of the artificial, cocky arrogance he prided himself on. “Ya’ know. In case we need to find you.”
“You won’t.” She said, Her finger running over that scar on her palm. “This is my case-“
“Yeah, and you’ve got it handled.” Dean drawled, raising his brows. “You gonna answer the question?”
She sighed. “Same motel you’re at. Down the road.”
He shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen your car-“
“You remember my car?”
He felt a little heat rush to his face, only worsened by how there was a little, dancing light in Her eyes that was trying to draw him into Her, as if he was only a moth and she was the freaking sun. And of course he remembered that car. It was Her car. He’d felt something seize in his chest every time he’d seen one like it for the last year.
“I like cars,” Dean grumbled—hoping She wouldn’t see it for the half-lie it was—and a small smile pulled at her lips. It looked a little too real.
“Like your dad’s.” She nodded, starting to fish ice cubes out of Her glass. “The Impala.”
It was Dean’s turn to grin. “You remember my car?”
She definitely flushed that time. “Yeah,” She mumbled. “It’s memorable. Shut up and answer my question.”
Dean raised his brows, remained silents, and tried to bait Her into saying it again. It worked.
“You’re such a-“ She cut herself off with a sigh and roll of Her eyes. “How would you deal with me.”
“I’m so glad you asked,” Dean drawled Her name, feeling his grin overtake his face, every bit of his confidence returning—stronger than before—as She swallowed under his gaze. “I’d deal with you however you’d like.”
She blinked at him, and he was certain Her voice was higher than before. “I don’t, um, I-“ She glanced down at his lips, Her tongue poking out between her teeth. Dean wanted to bite it. “What?”
“However you tell me to,” he winked, and She looked like he’d shot her. Good. “I’ll deal with you. My question is how?”
“How-“
“How would you like me to deal with you, Princess?”
Dean was pushing it. Shit, he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, or why he couldn’t bring himself to sneer at Her, or mock her, or deal with her the way Dad had definitely meant. But he did know that Her eyes were wide and blown out, and Her lips looked soft, and he wanted to know if could get Her to be speechless. To gape at him all needy and dumb, so he could show Her exactly what fire She’d been playing with. That he wouldn’t roll over like a puppy, that whatever spell She’d cast on him—whatever aphrodisiac she’d been using—Dean might not be immune, but he could give better than he got. Maybe he’d get Her to bend enough that She’d admit what she’d been doing last year, and Dean would forgive Her because he didn’t know how not to. Because She was like tattoo on his brain that he didn’t want to get rid of.
Maybe he’d get to keep Her.
Maybe they could start over.
“I…” She trailed off, and Dean wanted to smash his lips to Her slack, open ones and start over. She was still gaping at him with a wide, open expression, and fuck he wanted to start over so bad. Against every bit of willpower and intelligence he had, Dean wanted to give into this strange instinct and start over.
“C’mon.” He drawled Her name, shooting her a wink. “Use some words.”
She glared at him, something hot flashing in Her eyes. “Pass. Ask me a different question.”
Dean scoffed under, dropping his voice to under his breath. “Who’s not fun now-“
“I heard that.”
“Course you did.” He rolled his eyes. “Fine, party pooper. What do you like?”
She blinked at him. "What do I like?"
"Like you said, sweetheart, I like cars." Dean said, trying to make his words sound casual. Like he wasn't desperate to learn everything about Her that she'd offer. "What's your thing?"
"My thing." She said slowly, still looking at Dean like he was insane. "That I like."
He nodded, watching Her carefully, and she frowned into the air as she continued.
"I don't know. Books? Movies and music?"
Dean gave Her an amused, flat look. "C'mon, you can gimme more than that-"
"No, I can't." She snapped. She was really hot when she snapped. "Movies and music is my answer, Winchester, deal with it."
Dean drawled Her name. “Everyone likes movies and music-“
“That doesn’t make it any less important to me.” She said, narrowing her eyes. “How would you like it if I said everyone drives cars-“
Dean scoffed. “They don’t drive them like I do, Princess-“
“And you don’t watch movies and listen to music like I do, Deano.”
He chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. “Alright. Point proven.” He titled his head at Her. “What’s your favorite movie?”
She laughed. A real laugh, and it sounded like music and rain and a soft summer breeze that shot right into Dean’s blood like a drug. “It’s my question, De. But nice try.”
He grinned at Her, clicking his tongue. "Bossy-"
"Shut up." She tilted her head at him, and Dean just grinned. "What's your favorite movie?"
"Untouchables." He said with a shrug. "Your turn."
She just looked at him with a small, teasing grin, and Dean realized she was waiting for him to repeat the question.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Fine, sweetheart. What's your favorite movie?"
Her face split into a wide, full grin, and God, he was fucked. Nothing in the world seemed to matter more than that smile, and the way it made him feel like he was circling the sun, crashing down to Earth in a ball of fire, and turning to steam as She swallowed him in her gravity. He really didn't give a shit if it was real. Maybe Dean could get himself to be bloody and bright enough to match Her, and she'd feel this too. She'd feel this, and stay, and offer an explanation about last year. An explanation that would prove it wasn't all that bad, and that She was just as fucking empty as Dean was, and he'd fill Her up-
Fuck, he couldn't think that. Not right now, when She looked like that—beautiful in a way that might be deadly—and was smiling at him, and he couldn't get a damn grip and just hate Her. He wasn't supposed to be crashing back up into Her. Dad would be so freaking disappointed that Dean was dumb enough to fall for this act again.
But he was. His jeans felt tight, he couldn't stop grinning at Her, and that siren-like voice kept Dean in her orbit, with absolutely no desire to leave.
She had a million favorite movies. And She hadn't been lying. She watched movies differently than Dean did. Differently that anyone did. He'd never heard anyone use so many big art words in a row, followed by about twenty, very creative swears at a speed he could only describe as frantic. Like if She didn't get Dean to understand exactly why Indiana Jones was the perfect adventure movie, why chick flicks had irreplaceable cultural value, and sitcoms could be the best medium of television, the world might end.
And it should be reminding him that they weren't the same. That Dean was trapped in the mud—he'd been born here, he'd die here, and he belonged here—because it was the only place for things like him. Gut covered weapons, made of rust that would crumble to dust before they made it out alive. And She was just visiting. Using the mud to make Her feel alive or important until she could return to a world of people with ivory and marble who all spoke like this. She was using Dean to do the same, maybe more. Maybe worse. Maybe trying to pry him open and steal what little he had inside him.
But, son of a bitch, She could have it. He'd stay right here with Her for a million freaking years, just as long as She kept smiling and rambling and giggling at Dean's small jokes between Her breathes. Maybe he could take that bite out of Her. Taste sugar and fruit and whatever else he was starting crave. He could take Her flesh and blood and call it even for what She’d done, because She was still so pretty, and Dean felt like he could be valuable under Her bright attention.
He’d repay Her for that bite by offering himself. He'd be that smeared, dulled weapon for Her. He shouldn't be. Dad would kill him. But he wanted to be. He wanted to stay here forever. And when the waitress came over—with plastic tits and syrupy words—he didn't even fully realize until She cleared her throat and jerked her head to the side. Even then he just frowned at Her, a drunken trance of her voice and smile still clouding his attention, because what the hell could possibly be more interesting—more important—than listening to Her talk?
Then the waitress leaned down, almost blocking Her from view, and Dean frowned.
"What?" His voice was irritated, impatient, but he didn't really care. He needed think lady to freaking move, before She somehow vanished like a dream through Dean's fingers, and he was alone again.
"You want anythin' to drink, handsome? The waitress asked, and Dean nodded. He could use a beer—it might help dull the raging wildfire inside him, trying to tear him between his hatred of what he knew She was and the raw, feral instinct to latch onto Her and never let go—and Her glass was almost out of ice cubes. If he got Her another glass, he could keep Her here just a little longer. As long as he could.
"Beer for me," he raised two fingers, pointing between Her and himself. "Virgin Shirley Temple for the lady."
The waitress blinked at him for a second, but got the message. Dean had Her. He didn't need to company of another pretty face, because none of them could be prettier that Her's. Shit, it wasn't even a fair comparison. Leaving this booth for anything—leaving Her for anything—would be like trading a burger for a fucking salad. Insane and pointless.
When the waitress finally moved, She was gaping at him, her words suddenly soft. Almost nervous.
"You, um-" She shook her head slightly. "Thanks."
Dean shrugged. "Not a big deal, you blew through that fancy girl drink in like a second anyway-"
"No, that's not-" She frowned at him, and Dean realized she was touching that scar again. "You remembered. That I don't drink."
"Oh." Dean stared at Her, his tongue almost glued into his mouth, his brain a little warm and soft from Her almost vulnerable gaze. "Yeah."
They were just staring at each other, and all Dean could manage to do was clear his throat, scratch the back of his neck, and force himself to speak.
"You, uh," he swallowed, fidgeting with the cuff of his jacket. "Never mentioned why."
"Why-"
"You don't drink."
"I'm not twenty-one yet, Winchester, I don't think I-" She cut herself off, leaning a little away from Dean with a small frown. He waited, the silence resuming for a long, heavy second that sat and froze in Dean's lungs. She wasn't looking at him anymore, twisting a ring on Her finger, and when She spoke again, her voice had dropped to a mumble. "I want a clear head. It's safer."
"Safer?"
"For our job." She curled a little into herself, like Dean was trying to peel her apart. "I mean, I can't really afford to get drunk. It could end, uh, badly."
Something became sharp over Dean's skin. That wasn't it. It wasn't a lie, but Dean could read it all over Her—he wasn't sure how, but he could—that there was more to it. But that's not why there was a sore prickle rooted in his muscles.
"Because you hunt alone."
She nodded, bringing Her knees up to her chest, and the ache worsened.
"You could drink." He muttered, leaning back with a slight slam of his hand on the table. "If you'd hunt with a partner."
She sighed. "I'm not going to hunt with a partner-"
"Why?"
He'd snapped. He hadn't meant to, but the ache moved to his mouth and he needed Her to understand. To get that hunting alone was fucking dangerous, and would get Her killed, and he cared about that so goddamn much for no real reason. He shouldn't care. But the thought of Her covered in blood make his gut twist and his heart burn in his chest, so She needed to get it. Now.
She narrowed her eyes, finally looking at him. "Why what."
"Why won't you hunt with a partner." He grumbled, holding Her gaze. "What would make that so fucking bad, sweetheart?"
"Because, as I've told you all week, I don't need to.” Her words were firm, dropped to a hushed sneer. "Anyone else would get in my way."
"I haven't even seen you since the freaking house," Dean said Her name with a low huff. "How could that be getting in the way-"
"I'd be fucking babysitting." She hissed. "I don't need a bunch of assholes tell me what to do, how to fight, how to kill something, how to-"
"Be safe?" Dean cut Her off with a sneer. "Not act like you're too good for anyone else?"
"I never said that, you asshole." She was starting to hug herself, and Dean felt ill, but he wouldn't be the one to break. "I am not too good, I just refuse to be a little hunter fuck-doll beating bag."
Dean blinked. "What?”
She sighed in flat, unamused disbelief. "Hunter's don't have great track records with women. I mean, be fucking real, dude. It wouldn't be the monster's that kill me."
"You," he shook his head. "That's- There are assholes out there everywhere, that doesn't mean you just roll over and accept death-"
"So what should I do?" She raised Her brows. "Be your partner? Be you and your father's little fucking toy until one of you puts a bullet-"
She cut herself off, and Dean gaped at Her, fire crawling over his veins.
"I-" She swallowed, and Dean wished he didn't give a fuck how She suddenly seemed so small. "I'm-"
"Do you seriously believe," Dean muttered, unsure if the fire in his voice was for himself, Dad, or how She looked like a wounded animal. "That we'd- Shit, are you fucking kidding me-"
"It's- I-"
"Save it," He snapped. "We are not killers or fucking savage trash-"
"That's not-"
"You listen to me, Princess-"
"No! I just-" She sounded panicked. Cornered. "I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it's complicated-"
He scoffed. "Not that complicated, sweetheart, you think I'm just as bad as that shit we hunt-"
"No I don't-"
"You do," he hissed Her name. "Drop the act. And, just so we're clear, I'd never hurt you-"
She laughed, shaking Her head. "You can't be fucking serious. That’s-“ She tensed, her face twisting slightly as she scratched at Her skin. "You don't get to tell me what I should and shouldn't do, Winchester. You don't get to act like you give a fuck if I hunt alone."
Dean's hand curled into a fist. "Nobody should hunt alone, it's, fuck, it's stupid-"
"I am not stupid-"
Dean huffed a dry laugh. "I got that, Princess. But you know what? I think," he leaned forward, letting the words fall out of his mouth before he could think about them. Before he could stop them. "That you're just too much of a crazy bitch to have anyone stick around."
It was silent, and She was just staring at him, her features moving through a million emotions that Dean couldn't understand. He'd won. She looked like he'd taken a knife right to Her heart, and she wasn't fighting back, so he'd won. And he couldn't fucking breathe. He felt sick, and faint, and freaking awful-
"Choke on my dick, Winchester.” She snapped, but there was something weaker in Her voice. Something that told Dean he’d hit on something fragile. That he was a piece of fucking shit that went for the killing blow because he couldn't help it. Because he was the very fucking, lower-than-the-sewers trash She'd just accused him of being-
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to take it back or say they'd both gone too far, and he felt like shit and still wanted—despite literally everything—to start over. To at least ask Her to tell him the truth, to at least tell Her how hating her like this made him feel wrong-
But She was gone. She'd left the booth and stomped out the door before Dean could even make a sound, and he just goddamn sat there. She wouldn't come back, but he was still just sitting there. Dad was probably waiting for him, ready to demand a reason why he'd taken so long, but Dean still just sat there. Shit, they might have a poltergeist to deal with, but Dean wasn't freaking moving.
What finally got him was the waitress, making her way back to the table and saying some snide comment about his girlfriend not appreciating him. Dean didn't even spare the woman a look as he shot up, shoved past her, and marched out into the parking lot to find Dad and get the hell out of here. If Dad asked, Dean would say he'd taken care of it. Not of Her—She'd looked like he'd torn Her to shreds with his teeth—but the situation. She'd probably be gone by morning, not wanting to be anywhere near two mud and gut covered hunters. Near Dean.
Dad was still on the phone when Dean saw the Impala. Sitting in the front seat with a frown, the windows rolled down to combat the flat heat of air, speaking in a low, gruff voice to whoever was on the other end of the line.
"I don't care," he was muttering as Dean approached, his voice carried on the wind. "I can get the asshole no problem, Bobby, the poltergeist ain't my issue."
It was a poltergeist. If Bobby said it was a poltergeist, it was a poltergeist. She'd been right. And as Dean got closer, Dad obviously couldn't see him in the shadows, so he should probably say something to alert Dad that he was here
"Obviously it's the fuckin' girl." Dad snapped, and Dean froze. "Shit, she just shows up again? On another weird fuckin' case, bein' right about what it is, sinkin' her claws into Dean-"
Dad stopped talking—Bobby was probably saying something Dean couldn't hear—and Dean's breathing was shallow. He shouldn't be eavesdropping. Dad would kill him, and he just shouldn't. He trusted Dad, and if this wasn't something Dad wanted to hear, it wasn't something he had to hear. But She hadn't sunken Her claws into him. She'd just scratched him over his brain and scarred him, but Dad couldn't see that. She just haunted him, and drove him mad, and made him want to-
"She's the one Dean's obsessed with."
Dean frowned. He was not obsessed with Her.
"She's a hunter alright. That moroi case me and the boys worked-" There was a small pause. "Yeah, moroi. Freakin' nasty little vampire baby shits. She-" Dad huffed, and Dean could hear the muffled sound of Bobby's voice. It sounded urgent.
Then Dad said Her full name into the speaker, and Dean could hear his frown. "You heard of her, Bobby?"
Bobby must have said no—there was no reason for him to know Her—but whatever he did say made Dad's hands grip the wheel with white knuckles.
"The hell you mean you have to go- Bobby-" John groaned, the click of his phone being closed snapping through the air and Dean swallowed. The call was over. Time to pretend he wasn’t a piece of fucking shit that had been invading Dad's privacy.
Dean moved out of the shadows and opened the car door, Dad barely waiting for him to be seated before he started talking.
"We got a poltergeist." He grunted, turning on the engine. "Let's go."
Dean blinked. "Go? Like, now?"
"Damn right, now." Dad shot him a raised brow. "Why, you fuckin' waiting for somethin'-"
"No, sir." Dean shook his head, and Dad nodded, still watching him carefully.
"You take care of the girl?"
"Uh, yeah." Dean hated that the words tasted rotten in his mouth. "She's gone."
Dad nodded. "Remember, son. No pair of tits are worth more-"
"Then family." Dean finished. He'd heard that sentence enough to recite it in his sleep. It didn't matter. She didn't matter. Dean felt like a fucking asshole, but She didn't matter. "I know, Dad."
"Good." Dad muttered, pulling out of the lot. "Let's kill this fuckin' poltergeist and get the hell out of here."
—————————
Bobby doesn't know you're here. He thinks you're in Louisiana still, dealing with the kelpie.
You're not. You're in Illinois. Trying something on a poltergeist.
You'll tell him when you get home. Explain that you'd just wanted to test your ghost ritual again, and if you'd told that him before, he would've snapped that testing that stuff was dangerous, and the thing had already worked once, so there wasn't any goddamn reason to risk it again.
And he was right. The rituals and spell and curses that had started to come to you in the dead of night—when it was just you and the White in the world, and the darkness became consuming—weren’t exactly safe to test on hunts. Not because of the rituals themselves, but because of the exposure. The danger of using magic where you could be discovered by another hunter. But you had to test them. You didn't know where they were coming from or how to stop them, but they always worked. You wake up and know that, if you said all these words and mixed these things together, you could make a veil between dead spirits and the living. A barrier that didn't kill the ghosts, but stopped them. A blockade that could be torn down, but bought you plenty of time and minimized any casualties.
It was why Bobby wasn't stopping you. He insisted you stay far away from other hunters, and update him after every test to make sure you hadn't blown yourself up or worse, but he wasn't trying to hold you back. Convince you to just drown in the darkness until it eroded the White, and you lost control forever. But he still wouldn't be happy about the second test. And you could've justified it by pointing out that this was actually a poltergeist, so you'd had to figure out how to alter the ritual, but then you saw the Winchester's Impala in your motel parking lot.
Which meant this it would be stupid to keep working the case. It meant you were in danger, because they were probably hunting the same poltergeist you were trying to do magical experiments on.
Worse, it meant Dean was here.
And you're going to fucking scream.
He'd never left your brain. You haven't stopped moving, you never stop moving, but Dean has followed you everywhere. Into your head every second, still circling around his handsome face and pretty face and beautiful smile. Into the darkness when it started to slip out of you, fueled by an echo of unworthy and sick, edged with the phantom feeling of his body at your side.
He was in countless, lonely motel beds where you looked to the side and expected him to be there. He was on the curb when you were covered in grime and monster guts, and you looked up to find the shadow above you only a shadow. He was in your bag, because you’d never thrown out his shirt. It didn’t smell like him anymore—he was there too, in wet grass in the spring and the spice of cheap aftershave on a man in a bar—but you were still holding onto it. Holding onto Dean.
You weren’t sure what could make you let go. You’d even started to fish for information about him from Bobby with careful questions about the Winchesters. What they usually hunted, so you could avoid them. What Sam and Dean were like, in case you ever ran into them, so you’d know what to expect. If they always hunted with John, or if they ever went off on their own. Bobby would always give you a strange look and a short answer—whatever they ran into, they’re good boys in the same shit situation as every other hunter, and John never let them hunt alone—but you’d pieced more from what you already knew. Sam hated hunting, and Dean loved it, their relationship with John was complicated—you could’ve gotten that one yourself—and Dean was what Bobby called eager with women.
He slept around. He’d probably been trying to sleep with you, and given up when he realized that you weren’t easy. That you were tired and rough and so, so angry all the time. That you might be beautiful, but the same was a thunderstorm is beautiful. The same was a statue is beautiful.
Something you shouldn’t touch. Something you shouldn’t try to hold, even for a night.
Something that wasn’t worth Dean Winchester time. Something he’d seen, turned away from, and then left you. He’d left you because he’d seen you for what you were, and he hadn’t wanted anything from you in the first place, but he’d still fucking left you. And you hated him for that, because you’d been ready to offer him whatever he wanted. Against all reason and logic and caution, you’d wanted him more than you could describe.
And against all your willpower, you couldn’t let go of him. Because you’d seen the Impala in the parking lot—the one you’d been searching for on every highway, in every small town and city—and the force of Dean is here had hit you like a hurricane. Everything had felt so fucking big, and you couldn’t hold onto the darkness in your body as your breathing became heavy and you attempted to keep yourself together. Nails digging into your skin as the wind howled through your room, the peeled paint on the walls cowering from you as your attention became vigilant, everything crashing back down into you when you bit down, and a lightbulb shattered across the room.
You’d avoided him. You’d hidden in crowds on the street when you saw him, and ducked behind shelves when he entered the corner store. You’d kept your shades angled so you could see the parking lot, and pushed down the way the White howled at the sight of him coming and going. You’d planned to handle the hunt in silence, and then just go.
The house owner was a sweet hippy who agreed to let you do the ritual when you told her she had the aura of a swan. You’d give it a few days after to ensure the barrier could hold, get rid of the poltergeist for good, and then leave without the Winchester’s ever even knowing you were here.
Then you’d seen Dean in the woods, and you couldn’t resist talking to him. He’d seen you anyway, so there wasn’t anything left to lose. And he’d still been so pretty, and your knees still felt weak, and the White still whined for him no matter how much of a dick he was being. It was insufferable, you’d left with darkness eating at your blood, and you’d looked back. You couldn’t stop looking back. Every time you had run on the street you’d turned around to see if he was frowning in adorable confusion around the busy sidewalks. When he was in the parking lot you’d checked to see if he was still pretty, even though you knew he would be. Of course he would be. He was an asshole like that.
You’d looked back outside of the poltergeist house because you had to. You had to see if he was real or just another flickering dream, and you couldn’t resist the desire to see him—staring at you on the street and suffocating you with that same smell from last year—one more time. It’s why you hadn’t skipped town right after. It’s why you’d stayed so long in the bar. You just fucking had to. You could fight against his winks and grins and smooth words, making you smile when you hated him, making you laugh when you should’ve been running. It had seemed—for whatever strange reason—that Dean hadn’t told John you were here, but he definitely knew now, and you were certainly in very real danger. But Dean had carved you open again, and you’d stayed in that stupid booth until he’d given you a good reason to leave.
And it was a great reason. It would’ve been kinder to shoot you in the temple than say that. At least he would’ve killed you, and you wouldn’t have had to wage this war in your body. The war between your hatred of him, and how you want to go back. He’s such a fucking asshole, but you still want to turn around and go back. To ask him why he left, why he cares, how he seems to know your every raw nerve and if he's still feels this too. If he felt it before.
You don't really want to know that last one. Because if he felt it before, that means he felt it and left. That he can feel it now and hates you for it.
Because he does hate you. If it wasn't in his words, it was all over his face. How he’d laughed like you were just a silly little girl. How he’d looked right into you like he could see the darkness. How he’d grinned at you like a wolf, like he wanted to rip you apart. He sees what you are, and he despises it.
And you were fine with that. You despise him. He was an arrogant, smug, dickish, charming, controlling, annoying, handsome, caring, selfish, funny, sexy, adorable, funny, strong, sweet-
God fucking damnit. He was an asshole. He'd left you, he hated you, and you wouldn't fall for the cowboy-in-shining-leather thing again. You were going to take care of this poltergeist now, and leave town right after. Dean and John could be here another week trying to figure out if it was even dead for all you cared. You just had to go. Before this all got worse.
You've barely parked when your phone starts to buzz. You don’t look at the contact when you decline it—you don’t have the time—but then it just starts buzzing again.
It’s Bobby.
You still don’t answer. If he’s in danger, he wouldn’t call you. If it’s an urgent question, he can handle it himself. If it’s a non-urgent question, he can wait for this to be done. If he was dying-
You almost pick up the phone. The thought flashes through your brain, a small stone grows in your throat, and you reach for the phone with a frantic movement. You’re about the dial him back when the first message comes through, and you sigh in relief.
You better call me back now, kid, we need to talk.
Not dying. Can be dealt with later. You’ll call him back when you’re done, because this will be quick, and you’ll get through it. You always do.
You’d convinced the homeowner to get out of town for a few days, to stay with her sister until you were done. The purification ritual was in the trunk of your latest stolen car—you’d meddled with the ingredients, giving it an extra kick—and this would be quick.
There’s no blur as you start. You’re alert for your barrier to break—keeping in iron poker in your hands—but there’s no disturbance, so you just go through the motions. The basement is finished in five minutes, the first floor in ten, and you’ve only got two bags left when glass shatters downstairs, and the blur starts to cloud your head. Something cracked in the ritual, maybe because you’re almost done, but now you have to fight-
“Dean, you got the guns?”
You freeze as John Winchester’s voice sounds from down the stairs, and everything becomes too sharp. There’s a creaking sound from downstairs, the darkness is starting to spread up your spine and over the white popcorn ceilings of the house, you’re fucked, and the White is reaching out to-
“I got it, Dad, but I thought poltergeists-“
“Son of a bitch wants attention.” John snaps over Dean, and you might crush the bag in your hand. “We’re gonna give him some until he shows himself, and we find the asshole’s remains and burn them.”
This is bad. That’s not how poltergeists work at all—you’re a little shocked John thinks it is—and they’re going to fuck up your barrier, and you can’t tell them they’ll fuck up the barrier or John will turn one of those guns on you-
“Is the hippy chick home?” Dean asks, snapping you out of your panic as the White howls inside you. “I can deal with her while you take care of-“
“No need. Car ain’t in the driveway.” There’s a pause, and you can hear them shuffling downstairs. “Plus I know how you deal with the vics, Dean. We don’t need that right now.”
Something’s bitter in your mouth that has no right to be there, and no right to vanish at Dean’s grumbled words.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Dad-“
“I don’t care how you meant it. Focus up so we can get this shit done.”
There’s another few muffled sounds, an unmistakable click of a gun, and you’re moving before you think better of it.
“Stop!” You’re almost shrieking—dropping the poker and shoving your last two bags into your pockets as you run down the stairs—and barely stop your body from colliding with Dean’s in the entrance hallway.
“What the fuckin’ hell are you doin’?!“ John’s roar makes you flinch, his rifle aimed right at your head. You take a stumbling step back as darkness wraps around your hands and your heart kicks into a rapid, frantic rhythm you can hear in your ears. John can see you. He’s going to kill you. You going to die, and they’ll burn your body, and shit you never called Bobby but the darkness is going to burst out of you and John’s going to kill you-
A hand steadies you by your shoulders, grass and spice and leather ease the darkness down, and you wish you didn’t relax into the warmth of behind you, that the pretty, rolling voice a little over your head didn’t soothe your panic.
“Woah, Dad, it’s just-“ Dean says your name, and John scoffs, not lowering his gun.
“I know who it is, Dean, that ain’t my issue.” John’s eyes narrow on you, hatred painted all over his face. It’s worse than Dean’s somehow. There’s something pure about it, like John didn’t have to look into you to see what an atrocity you are. He just senses it. “Why the fuck are you here, girl.”
“I’m hunting my poltergeist.” You snap, forcing your voice to sound angry and not terrified, your face to be a mask of annoyed and not painted in dread. “What possible other reason could I have.”
“Could be looking at real estate.” Dean mumbles with a shrug, and he’s still touching you. You can’t help but glance back as you jerk away from him, and the expression on his face is unreadable. Guarded but cautious, like when he’d watched you and John snap at each other in the booth. Like he’s waiting for a bomb to go off. “I hear this is a good neighborhood.”
You give him a flat look. “This house is haunted.”
He shoots you a wink, clearly fueled by you not just ignoring him. “Won’t once we’re done with it-“
“Once I’m done with it.” You narrow your eyes at him. “This is my hunt, Winchester. I was here first.”
“Poltergeists don’t respect dibs, Princess.” Dean snaps. “And you don’t even have a freakin’ gun.”
“I don’t need a gun-“
Dean lets out a dry, shouting laugh. “I take back what I said earlier, you are stupid if you’re about to try and kill this thing without a freakin’ gun-“
“You’re stupid if you think I’m just going to let you fuck this up-“
“We’re saving your ass from getting whacked by a poltergeist, some gratitude might be nice-“
“You’re getting in my fucking way-“
“You’re-“
“Enough!” John’s shouts over Dean, and you both freeze. You hadn’t realized you’d been shouting, or how close Dean had gotten. You can see his every freckle, every shade of green in his eyes, how his lips are slightly parted so his breath fans over your face-
“I don’t want you two talkin’ unless it’s telling me where the poltergeist is.” John hisses, and you force your body away from Dean’s. “We’re killin’ this thing right fuckin’ now, got it?”
Dean nods, bowing his head slightly, and you just glare at John. All you have to do is get upstairs place the last two bags, and you’ll be fine. If agreeing to work with them does that, you’ll do it.
You split up. John goes to the basement, Dean takes the first floor, you rush upstairs. The bags are in your pants, and you’re so close, but John and Dean are waving around guns and talking about ganking the poltergeist, and it can definitely fucking hear them. The paintings shake on the walls as the temperature drops, and it’s trying break through. You get the first bag just as the lights begin to flicker, and you sprint down the hall to the last wall. Just one more and it will be done, and you can leave-
“Fuck-“ Dean shouts right as you reach the spot, and your blood goes cold. “Dad! It’s on me- shit-“
Then he roars your name, and you’re moving before you can think. Grabbing the poker, half-falling down the stairs, and reaching Dean just as his gun is yanked out of his hands by nothing at all. His eyes widen as they meet your, his mouth opens to say something and-
“Dean!” You can barely hear your own scream as he flies across the room, his head knocking on the counter.
His body slumps, and you’re not in a blur. This is a rush. Everything is wide around you, there’s an airy chill in your lungs, and the darkness is pouring out of you as the lights grow too bright and the windows bang on a windless night. The darkness starts to ignite over your hands—a phantom flame you’re not sure is real, burning and stinging at your skin—you whirl around, and, on instinct alone, shove the air. There’s a high, shrill, horrible sound of pain as the air goes up in flames, and then it all comes down. The room grows warm, the house goes quiet, and the darkness returns to you without a fight.
And Dean’s still slumped on the floor.
“Dean!” You fall to your knees at his side—rolling his face to the side, grabbing his hand to take a pulse—and only notice John as he silently joins you, taking Dean’s face between his hands with a set jaw.
You don’t know how long he’s been there.
You don’t know what he saw.
“What the hell-“
“Poltergeist.” You whisper, watching John examine Dean’s head. “Threw him across the room.”
John scowls. “You just let this shit happen-“
“I didn’t- I got the asshole.” You hiss, clawing at the skin near your nail until it stings. “House purification ritual, which I was already doing before! Nothing would’ve happened at all if you didn’t jump in with fucking guns-“
“Just-“ John raises his hand, and you fall silent. You’re still holding Dean’s hand. You don’t let it go.
“He’s okay.” You mumble, mostly for yourself. Mostly to fight the bile in your throat at the sight of him, sweaty and pale, not bleeding but moving, eyes fluttering but not waking up. “He’s gonna be okay.”
You almost miss John’s strange look. You almost forget about the axe over your head, and how he might know what you are. All you can really think about is Dean. You barely hear John order you to stay here while he grabs the car, and it feels a little pointless. You would’ve stayed here no matter what.
He’s groaning. Dean keeping making low noises of pain, and his hand keeps flexing in yours, but he’s breathing. Shallow breathes, but he’s breathing. And he’ll be okay. He has to be okay. It’s just a Poltergeist, not even a strong one, and he’s young and strong, and he’ll be okay. Your breathing has become a little uneven, and you can feel the White rioting and bellowing inside you as he shudders slightly, but he’ll be okay. You won’t let him not be. He feels clammy when you press your hand to his brow—your fingers brush his hair, and it’s soft, and that’s not important but you’re going to think about it for a million years—so you shrug off your own jacket and toss it over his body. He’s still holding onto you, so you don’t drop his hand. When John gets back you loop his arm over your shoulders, your own arm around his waist, and haul his dead-weight up until John grabs the other side.
When you reach the Impala—you working in silence with John to slide him carefully into the backseat—he clings to you. John drops his arm and it shoots over your stomach, his head falling onto your chest as he makes another low grunt of pain. And there’s such little color on his face, and he’s still shuddering when you move the jacket back over him, and you could fix this. You’ve never healed anyone before, but you could. You can feel the darkness moving into the tips of your fingers and over your heart as Dean takes a stuttered breath, and you have to-
“Get out.”
You look up and find that John has walked around the car and opened your door. “I-“
“Leave.” John grunts, not even sparing you glance as he speaks. “Now.”
You shake your head, and it’s a weak movement. There’s that feral instinct of survive still in your bones, but it’s not bigger than Dean. Nothing’s bigger than Dean. “No, I-“
“I ain’t askin’-“
“It’s not up to you-“
“My car. My rules.” John’s words sound pushed through his teeth. “Out.”
“I,” you swallow, glancing back down to Dean. “I could help-“
“You’ve done enough.“
“I could fix him!” You shout, and your sounds pleading. You feel like you’re pleading. It’s pathetic, and you don’t care because Dean makes a low, strained noise and you feel like you’re choking. “I could-“
“Listen to me very fuckin’ closely.” John sneers your full name, finally lowering down to meet your gaze. “The out of my fuckin’ car, and stay the hell away from my son. I don’t need you fixin’ him, because he’s not broken, and if he was the last thing he needs is some high horse brat making him weak.”
There’s a high ringing in your ears, and your voice is soft. “I-“
“He’d be fine if you hadn’t interfered with our work.” John snaps. “You’re out of your little pond, girl, and if I ever see you distractin’ Dean or fuckin’ with his brain again, I’ll put a bullet in yours. Got it?”
You nod, something vast and numb spreading over your chest as you carefully climb out of the car—making sure not to disturb Dean, or make his head worse—and leave John without another word. But you look back. You can’t help yourself from turning and watching the Impala pull away, from digging your nails into your skin as you cling to yourself until their headlights vanish around a corner.
You’re already packed. Everything’s in your car—clothing, tools, books, makeup and hygiene products, first aid kit—and you could just drive out of town, but you don’t. You toss the last purification ritual bag into the truck, sit behind the wheel, just stare into the darkness.
You need to call Bobby. You need to go. John wouldn’t kill you with an injured Dean to care for, but he’d seen. He had to have seen. And not leaving now would be a death sentence.
But you just sit in the car. Sit in the cancerous darkness that’s alight in your body, the image of Dean’s pained features burned into your eyes, flashing in front of you whenever you blink. All that boiling hatred for Dean is gone. Evaporated into thin air, leaving you ill and pained and empty. John was right. You hadn’t been fast enough, and Dean got hurt. Your barrier against the poltergeist made it violent, and Dean got hurt. You’re the sick one. It’s why he left to begin with.
He was better for it. He didn’t need you—no one needed you—and John’s threat hadn’t been empty, so you need to drive away and never look back.
And yet you end up in the motel parking lot. Hunched in your seat as you wait for just a little proof that Dean’s okay. That you hadn’t held him and shattered him, like he’d shattered you. You’re there until the sun breaks the sky, until it’s beating over your head and you have to crack the windows.
You’re there when your phone starts to ring, and you realize you’d forgotten to call Bobby.
You’ve barely picked up when he starts shouting, and you flinch away from the speaker.
He uses your full name. First, middle, and Singer. He only uses your full name when he’s proud of you, or furious. And this feels more like the latter. You’re in trouble.
“You wanna tell me,” he hisses. “Why John fuckin’ Winchester knows who you are?”
“I, uh-” You swallow, twisting a ring with your thumb. “I don’t-“
“And I ain’t gonna buy your bullshit, kid, that shit doesn’t work on me.”
You sigh. “Bobby, look-“
“No, you look. I didn’t teach you to be a goddamn idjit dumbass,” he snaps your name, and you curl a little further into your seat. “You know what he’d do to ya’. Shit, what are you plannin’ on doin’ if you have a slip? If he sees that hoodoo shit happen?”
“Um, he might have already seen it.”
There’s silence on the other end for a long second, then a low, “What.”
“We just finished a poltergeist case.” You mumble, hoping he’s too angry to catch onto the why are you on a poltergeist case part. “And it attacked Dean. And I killed it.”
Bobby says your name slowly. “How the hell did ya’ kill a-“
“With my hands. I just, um, burned it.” You take a long breath. “And I think John saw.”
“And he just let ya’ off the fuckin’ hook-“
“Dean got hurt.” You whisper, and the words sting your tongue. “He was focused on that.”
“Balls.” Bobby mutters, and you can picture the frown on his face. “Well, you’re outta there now, we can-“
“No.” You sigh. “I can’t go, I have to-“ You cut yourself off, because it sounds stupid in your head. You do not have to make sure Dean’s okay. He hates you, everything logical in your brain says that you should be remembering how to hate him any time soon, and he’s not yours tocare about. John made that clear with his threat. Dean made it clear by leaving. But you’re still in the parking lot. And you still have to make sure Dean’s okay.
Bobby says your name through the phone, his voice slow. “You gonna tell me what happened last year. On that moroi hunt.”
“I ran into the Winchesters-“
“I ain’t slow, kid, I worked that part out. What happened that made you call me and flop around the house like a widowed fish for a week.”
You bring your knees up to your chest, shaking your head. “It’s… I can’t-“
“What if I ask if that was Dean’s shirt.” Bobby grunts. “That you were wearin’.”
“Yeah.” You drop your head back on the seat, letting out a heavy exhale. “It-“
You freeze, watching Dean finally step outside like he’s been summoned. He’s walking slowly, but walking, and he seems really okay, and he’s looking around the parking lot with a frown-‘
Shit.
You drop down in your seat, out of the view of the parking lot, and pray he didn’t see you.
“Bobby, I gotta-“
“You ain’t goin’ anywhere, we still got some shit to sort out-“
“I’ll come right home.” You keep your voice hushed, in case it could carry on the wind. “And you can yell at me there.”
Bobby sighs. “I wasn’t gonna yell-“
“Yeah you were-“
“No-“
“Lying is a sin, Bobby.” You smile, carefully pulling the car keys out of your jacket. “You’re not a very good role model-“
“Well, I’m gonna fuckin’ yell at ‘ya now!” He snaps, but you can hear the slight amusement in his voice. “Get home quick, and we’ll deal with this. John don’t know you’re with me, and unless Dean needs a week after your hunt-“
“I think he’s fine.” You mumble, craning your head up to see Dean gone from the lot. “I’ll be safe at home.”
“Not if I kill ya’ for pullin’ this shit on an old man.” Bobby grunts, and you grin he falls silent, a long moment of static before- “You okay, kiddo?”
“I’m okay.” You mumble, and you’re not, but you will be. You always are. “And I’m really sorry for-“
“Apologizin’ ain’t gonna help us,” Bobby mutters. “Get home, and keep outta trouble till we sort this.”
You nod. “I will.”
You’ll try. Dean’s still pulling at you in your chest and consuming your head, but you’ll try. If only for Bobby’s sanity, you’ll really try.
You’ll pretend you don’t stay in the lot for a minute longer to watch Dean walk back to his room, that you don’t glance back at the room as you drive away, and you’ll keep yourself away of trouble.
Away from Dean.
End Note: I’d say this story is about to be John vs Bobby on who’s a better dad, but that would be like making a mouse (John) fight a dragon (Bobby).
Thank you so so so much for reading!! If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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last veilguard rant i swear
something ive been mulling over for a bit now again connects to the whole "elves/dalish rejecting the evanuris after finding out they bad"
this never really sat right with me for a whole host of reasons
-how did that knowledge spread from the inquisition?
-why would they spread this knowledge and how would they prove it?
-why would elves/dalish believe it with no proof?
but most importantly, why would it change anything for the elves and their faith? think about it, imagine if you went to ancient greece and told them "hey umm some of your gods were really bad and cruel, tryants actually" and said greeks going "oh wow that sucks, we will no longer worship them!" because that's essentially what veilguard does. granted the greeks knew more about their gods than the dalish do but that only strengthens my point. the matter of faith is written very strangely(poorly) in veilguard. for the most part it doesn't really engage with faith and religion much at all, which is very disappointing but when it does, it's done in a very blase kinda way. it feels like most characters are atheist/agnostic when that doesnt fit with thedas at all, religions are core to all societies weve encountered. what i believe has happened here, is a modern thinking issue with the writing, it plagues nearly every aspect of veilguard.
veilguard seems to look at faith as a matter of personal choice and that people follow the gods that are the good ones, so when they find out those gods were BAD, welp, not following them anymore! this is ridiculous and fundamentally not understanding the core of faith and belief. The elves/dalish don't worship the evanuris because they're the good and nice gods who's doctrine aligns with theirs. They worship them because they are SUPREME DIVINE BEINGS WORTHY OF WORSHIP. They are the creators and shapers of your reality, of your destiny, they are the arbiters of your eternal soul and to turn your back on them is to invite their ire. I say this not meaning specifically the elves and evanuris, but this is how most religions work. You don't choose this faith over that one because it fits your personal feelings, you believe because there is nothing else, no other god, other faiths are HERESY and LIES. Really, there isn't a choice at all unless you reject it all, something very rare in thedas because you know, magic and the fade are REAL.
So this notion of elves instantly rejecting their lifelong gods after discovering they did some bad shit is just stupid. Again, they are GODS, it is not for a measly mortal to remotely understand or be able to pass judgement on their actions. In religions morals, ethics, right or wrong do not function the same for divine beings, they are gods, anything and everything is within their right to do and the reason a mortal, a worshipper does not reject them for it is...BECAUSE THEYRE GODS AND THEY WILL SMITE YOU!!!
Same reason devout christians don't curse god for the bad stuff that happens in life, despite him being able to prevent them, it is blasphemy and it makes god angry.
All this on top of some elves already following fen'harel for example, despite it being known he is the god of lies and tricks. Faith here isn't based on him being a good god to worship, but because he could fuck up your life and you wan't to appease him to prevent that. So it should not matter at all if everyone magically became aware of the evanuris and their crimes, they are still GODS, in fact seeing them in the world should strengthen belief in them if anything and it shouldn't even enter into any believers mind that they need to be stopped or that it can even be done. Who are you to deny the will of the gods?
All this is just another example of how shallow the worldbuilding in veilguard is. We've all noticed that hardly anyone in game references religion in their dialog. No "makers breath", no "andraste's tits", no "by the paragons". It's not because the characters of veilguard are all atheists for some reason, there isn't some well thought out reason for it, the writers simply didn't bother to dig deeper into the core aspects of thedas and the forces that shape its societies.
game bad
#dragon age#datv#da4#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#veilguard critical#me talk#ok im done with this shit#going back to da2
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8551 Daitarabotchi … named after the Japanese Yokai colossal giant.
The asteroid represents the essence of massive, awe-inspiring, and ambivalent power—both creative and destructive—drawing from the Japanese folklore of a giant who shaped the landscape of Japan. Daitarabotchi symbolizes monumental, overwhelming forces beyond ordinary human comprehension, embodying traits of divine wisdom, uncontrollable might, and the simultaneous potential for harmony and chaos.
Traits, themes, characteristics;
The native has a “colossal” power/presence.. The overwhelming size and strength of Daitarabotchi define its mythos. It creates mountains and lakes effortlessly, representing forces capable of massive, lasting impact on the physical or metaphysical world.
Themes of creation and destruction (As a being who sculpts landscapes, Daitarabotchi bridges the duality of creation and ruin. Mountains rise, valleys sink, and entire ecosystems form or vanish at its touch.) The Daitarabotchi is a descendant of the God or Creation.. powerful, almost divine energies are at play here.
Traits of defiance and AWE.. The stories of humans trying to outwit or appease Daitarabotchi reveal its role as a symbol of the human struggle against overwhelming natural or cosmic forces. The rituals to drive it away reflect fear of what cannot be controlled or understood. These people also have the potential to leave an enormous footprint behind (metaphorically, obviously.)
—————
A prominent Daitarabotchi (conj, square, opposite. Etc.) can signify a native with an immense impact, a transformative presence, or a connection to monumental change. This asteroid speaks to themes of vast ambition, divine creativity, raw destructive energy, and encounters with overwhelming odds, etc.
Keywords include, but are not limited to; monumental creation and destruction, great passion, overwhelming strength and presence, enormity, a terrifying, yet awe-inspiring force, shaper of environments and destiny, duality of benevolence and hostility, colossal hunger for power, influence, and resources, ancient wisdom and primal instincts, impactful legacy and eternal footprints, fearsome defiance and unstoppable will.
——————
THROUGH THE SIGNS
Daitarabotchi in ARIES
Daitarabotchi in Aries represents the raw, explosive force of colossal energy infused with the fiery, pioneering, and impulsive nature of Aries. It is an embodiment of overwhelming power, relentless determination, and a drive to leave a permanent mark on the world. In someone’s life, this placement manifests as an uncontainable urge to conquer, create, and dominate, often in ways that feel monumental or larger-than-life to others. Aries thrives on action and initiation. With Daitarabotchi here, the individual becomes a figurative giant in their world, capable of reshaping their surroundings through forceful decisions and bold actions. They approach life with the mindset of a conqueror, needing to carve out their place by sheer willpower. This may play out through audacious career moves, dramatic personal transformations, or relentless pursuit of goals that others consider unattainable.
This placement speaks to ambitions that are not just big—they’re overwhelming. The person feels the need to act on a grand scale, often pursuing projects or goals that seem too large or daunting for others. They may build empires (literally or figuratively), striving for achievements that cement their legacy.
Aries is ruled by Mars, the planet of war and action. The combination with Daitarabotchi can make the individual incredibly assertive, even aggressive. They’re not afraid to fight for what they want, and they’ll often confront obstacles head-on, regardless of the consequences. However, the impulsive nature of Aries means their actions may sometimes lead to unintended destruction.
Like the mythological giant shaping the terrain, these individuals often influence or reshape the lives of those around them. Whether through leadership, confrontation, or inspiration, they become a towering figure in their community, profession, or personal relationships.
Daitarabotchi in Aries embodies the idea of clearing the old to make way for the new. In someone’s life, this can manifest as cycles of destruction and rebirth—burning bridges, leaving past situations behind and starting anew. These individuals often feel “bigger” than the world around them. They may struggle to find places where they can fully express their energy, leading them to seek environments where their larger-than-life personality is not just tolerated but celebrated.
Keywords; Monumental power. Pioneering spirit. Creation through destruction. Towering presence. Raw aggression. Unstoppable force. Chaotic energy. Passion. Monumental influence. Etc…
Daitarabotchi in TAURUS
Daitarabotchi in Taurus embodies a titanic force grounded in the physical and material world. It fuses the massive, terrain-shaping energy of the mythological giant with the steady, patient, and determined nature of Taurus. Daitarabotchi in Taurus reflects immense creative and destructive power toward building, stabilizing, and accumulating resources, wealth, or influence.
Taurus is the sign of persistence, with Daitarabotchi here, the native feels compelled to build something monumental that will withstand the test of time. Could manifest as constructing a literal empire, amassing wealth, or creating a powerful legacy rooted in actual tangible physical achievements. Approaching life like a mountain. I.e: immovable, enduring, and deeply rooted in their purpose.
Taurus ruling material possessions and earthly pleasures, having Daitarabotchi here magnifies exceedingly. Native may be deeply driven by the need to acquire wealth, land, or resources to secure stability and power. Or, they may feel overwhelmed by the weight of material responsibilities or a fear of scarcity, leading to an insatiable desire to stockpile and persevere.
Unlike the explosive, impulsive Aries, Taurus tames the great Daitarabotchi with patience and deliberation. This placement represents slow, but unstoppable growth. Said natives do not rush into action; instead, they cultivate their goals methodically, ensuring that every step builds on a solid foundation.
An absolute inability to quit. A cosmic-level ability of determination and resilience. Natives possess incredible endurance and will push through even the most insurmountable obstacles. Beware of this determination leading to stagnation and resistance to needed change.
Keywords; monumental stability, titanic patience, material mastery, earth shaker, immovable determination, sensual monolith, weight of responsibility, enduring legacy, constructive destruction, cosmic builder, luxury overdrive, enormous resourcefulness.
Daitarabotchi in GEMINI
Daitarabotchi in Gemini manifests as an immense, transformative force operating within the realms of communication, intellect, and duality. This placement symbolizes someone whose mental faculties and verbal expression are colossal, far-reaching, and capable of shaping the minds and environments of others. Just as the legendary giant Daidarabotchi left lasting marks on the landscape, this placement ensures that the individual leaves an indelible intellectual or social imprint on the world around them.
The mental titan
A mind that operates on an enormous scale, constantly seeking to gather, connect, and disseminate information. Their thoughts and ideas seem larger than life, often overwhelming to others. Reflecting Gemini’s duality, they can seamlessly adapt to different roles, shifting between conflicting identities or viewpoints with ease, much like the Daidarabotchi’s ability to change shape. Their ability to connect people, ideas, and information creates vast webs of influence that reshape their social and intellectual environments.
Endlessly curious and always moving, they find it difficult to remain in one place—physically, mentally, or emotionally—leaving behind profound changes wherever they go. Communication becomes a superpower. They can uplift, inspire, or utterly destroy through their words and ideas, wielding language with the force of a giant’s footsteps. While they may exhibit lightheartedness and wit, their humor and curiosity mask an intimidating depth of intellect and ambition.
Totally unparalleled communication
A masterful ability to express even the most complex concepts in a way that others understand. They can be persuasive, entertaining, and magnetic when speaking or writing. They thrive in environments that require quick thinking, adaptability, and creativity. These natives are able to bring together disparate ideas, people, or disciplines, they can create innovative solutions that others would never imagine. Their charisma and intellectual prowess make them natural leaders in social or academic circles. Their ability to manipulate and dominate conversations or social environments can intimidate others or create alienation.
They often become experts in their chosen fields, but their expertise spans multiple disciplines. They could be polymaths, inventors, or prolific writers. This placement can translate to mental mastery. Known for their speech or writing, they might publish groundbreaking works, deliver unforgettable speeches, or revolutionize how ideas are communicated. Much like Daidarabotchi’s footprints became lakes, their words and actions create lasting ripples in the collective psyche or societal structure.
Keywords; intellectual colossus, shape-shifting communicator, enormous curiosity, monumental ideas, hyper passionate communication, words that CUT.. DEEP.. social architect, mental chaos, cerebral dominance, etc..
Daitarabotchi in CANCER
Daitarabotchi in Cancer wields emotion like a giant reshaping the earth, capable of creating serene lakes of love and support or unleashing tsunamis of destructive force. This placement ensures that their emotional impact will resonate far beyond the bounds of their personal life, shaping not just individuals but entire emotional landscapes. Daitarabotchi in Cancer signifies a monumental presence in the realms of emotion, nurturing, and protection. This placement embodies the vast, almost primordial depths of feeling and connection, a cosmic interplay between the maternal and the monstrous. With Cancer’s lunar influence amplifying Daitarabotchi’s already overwhelming scale, this person operates as an emotional and protective giant, reshaping their inner and outer worlds through profound instincts and tidal waves of sentiment.
General themes
Their feelings are titanic, capable of carving landscapes within relationships, family, and community. They feel not just for themselves but for the world, channeling ancient, universal emotional currents. Like a divine protector, they are fiercely nurturing, defending those they love with an intensity that can be both awe-inspiring and fearsome. Their emotional care feels larger-than-life, but so too can their protective anger. Their intuition operates on a massive scale, sensing shifts in the emotional atmosphere like tectonic movements, often acting on these instincts with an unstoppable force.
These natives create and destroy emotional foundations, reshaping personal and family dynamics with their colossal influence. This can feel comforting or overwhelming to others. Their internal world is vast, complex, and oceanic, reflecting both the nurturing calm of a tranquil sea and the overwhelming power of tsunamis.
Unstoppable Nurturing Power: Their ability to support, heal, and care for others is profound. They often act as the emotional anchor for their family or community. They can access emotional depths that others barely understand, offering profound insights into the human condition. Just as Daidarabotchi’s footprints became lakes, their emotional contributions leave a lasting mark on the people and places they love.
Overwhelming Sensitivity: Their emotional currents can be so intense that they drown in their own feelings, struggling to find emotional balance. Their colossal feelings may lead to dramatic responses, creating chaos in situations that require calm. Their emotional depth may alienate them from those who cannot comprehend or match their intensity.
Emotionally Transformative Presence: Wherever they go, they profoundly influence the emotional atmosphere, reshaping how others feel and interact. They are drawn to roles or causes where they can shield and nurture, whether as caregivers, activists, or healers. Their relationships feel vast, intricate, and enduring, often resembling entire ecosystems of shared emotion and history. Their personal stories and emotional legacy often become larger-than-life narratives, influencing those around them for generations.
Keywords; emotional titan, cosmic nurturer, nurturing force, oceanic depths of feeling, cyclical emotional energy, overwhelming care, emotional anchor, creator of emotional ecosystems, etc
Daitarabotchi in LEO
Daitarabotchi in Leo is a towering figure of creativity and leadership, reshaping the world through their radiant presence and dramatic flair. Their life is a stage, their impact a legacy, and their heart a sun that burns with unrelenting passion. This placement ensures that they will never simply exist—they will leave an indelible mark on the landscape of life. Daitarabotchi in Leo represents a massive, awe-inspiring presence in the realms of self-expression, leadership, and creative power. This placement combines Leo’s solar brilliance and dramatic flair with the colossal, earth-shaping nature of Daitarabotchi, creating someone whose personality, creativity, and charisma radiate with overwhelming force. These individuals are natural-born leaders, performers, or creators, reshaping their environment with the intensity of their presence and vision.
General themes
Colossal ego & creativity; Their sense of self and creative drive are larger than life. They often see themselves as central figures, not out of arrogance, but because their presence naturally commands attention. They shine like a sun, exuding dramatic flair and the ability to captivate an audience, whether onstage or in daily life. Their energy is regal and dominating, like a giant who reshapes the world with their vision and passion. They possess an unshakable belief in their uniqueness and abilities, often inspiring or intimidating others with their sheer self-assuredness.
Transformational leadership & authority; Their leadership style is both grand and impactful, often changing the lives of those they guide or influence. They approach life with courage and passion, driven by an intense connection to what they love and care about.
They radiate warmth, confidence, and charisma, drawing others to them like moths to a flame. They effortlessly draw others into their orbit, using their charm and brilliance to influence or inspire. They are deeply driven to leave a lasting legacy, whether through their creations, leadership, or relationships. Their creative talents and self-expression are expansive, capable of reshaping cultural, social, or artistic landscapes.
Potential for an overbearing ego. Their confidence and sense of importance can tip into arrogance or a need to dominate. They may struggle with insecurity if their efforts go unnoticed, becoming overly reliant on external validation. They may demand to be the center of attention or insist on being in control, alienating others in the process. Their immense pride can make it difficult for them to admit mistakes or accept criticism.
Keywords; titanic & massive charisma, enormous self-expression, regal presence, monumental creativity, overwhelming pride, radiant self-belief, grand legacies, royalty, visionary builder, courageous creator and destroyer.
Daitarabotchi in VIRGO
Daitarabotchi in Virgo merges the boundless might of the cosmos with the small, exacting details of life. These individuals are humble yet powerful, unassuming yet transformative, capable of shaping the world through their unmatched dedication to perfection and service. Their lives are a testament to the beauty and impact of diligence, showing that even the tiniest details can create monumental change. Daitarabotchi in Virgo manifests as a monumental force focused on precision, service, and refinement. This placement merges Virgo’s analytical mind and meticulous nature with Daitarabotchi’s massive, terrain-shaping energy, creating individuals who see no task as too small and no detail as insignificant in their pursuit of excellence. Their lives are defined by a profound commitment to structure, order, and purpose, reshaping their world through acts of diligent service, relentless improvement, and transformative problem-solving.
General themes
These individuals amplify Virgo’s natural inclination toward precision, making their work and efforts feel immense in scope yet intricately refined. They have an overwhelming need to improve, heal, or optimize, tackling problems others would find too complex or overwhelming. They approach their goals with rigorous focus and organization, excelling in environments that demand careful analysis and execution. The natives have an a relentless desire to perfect themselves and their work. Endless self-improvement. Their work ethic borders on obsessive, driving them to extraordinary levels of achievement.
A massive analyst, their capacity for analysis and critical thinking is monumental, allowing them address problems others may overlook or dismiss. These natives are also incredibly intelligent, much their Gemini counterpart. They can also create very long lasting frameworks - be it in relationships, projects, their work, etc - that withstand and endure due to their painstaking attention to detail.
These people can also be overwhelming perfectionists. Their genuine obsession with getting everything so precise can lead to stress, burnout, and paralysis in the face of imperfection. Their attention to detail may become excessive and lead to them to also become exceedingly and over the top nitpicky. Also a capacity to become super critical over themselves and others. Extremely judgmental people.
On the plus side though these natives can be incredibly planners and have quite exceptional organizational skills. They can be very precise and have quite the impressive work ethic. Their work ethic and discipline can be absolutely indefatigable.
Keywords; monumental precision, colossal refinement, healing power, systematic mastery, tireless, indefatigable, relentless discipline, obsessive improvement.
This is my first post with this much detail and that’s this organized.. if it does well, I’ll release part 2, containing Daitarabotchi in Libra-Pisces…
#asteroid#astrology#astrology observations#aesthetic#alternative#aries#grunge#pluto#mars#asteroid observations#observation#astro observations#asteroid astrology#asteroids#Sun#saturn#Taurus#Gemini#cancer#leo#Virgo#1st house#2nd house#3rd house#4th house#5th house#6th house#Daitarabotchi#daidarabotchi#japanese yokai
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DA:TV spoilers/long post under cut. This post is a continuation of [this post].
A note on the [former] Arishok's - potentially Stenishok's - current whereabouts and activities.
A nod to how Dalish clans can be quite different from each other in some ways. it's neat to hear an example of the way in which the specific details of one of the tales from Dalish lore differs from clan to clan. I would read an entire volume of World of Thedas's worth on this topic alone hh :D
Neve hears the swell of the Docktown sea when she's in the Lighthouse, the sound of the home she loves so dearly ��� Neve Gallus I love you
This Crow mask from concept art made it in! I wish this existed as a helmet for Rook, as it slaps ^^
same
I lost Harding in my story (second team leader), so this hurts so bad (which is to say, real good). (˚ಥ﹏ಥ)ง..
where Orzammar has Shapers of Memories, Kal-Sharok has Stewards of Memories.
Ostagar mabari bois reference 🥺 Ostagar here could feasibly have been descended from Dog, the HoF's mabari specifically. during the time of Awakening, Dog was said to have fathered a few litters of puppies.
'Ghilan'nain stamps her notes with a stylized halla head' continues.
Archive Spirits sound like Dragon Age's answer to VIs in Mass Effect, like Avina (versus the AIs). Only seven in the elven lore Bellara knows at the point in time of writing this Codex - did Mythal never feel the need to have an Archive Spirit, did the knowledge of Mythal's simply never come down through time, or did the remaining Evanuris only make Archive Spirits after Mythal had been struck down?
Stories such as ones about the elves in The Last Court 👁️..
for obvious reasons I just think the naming of "Elgar'nan's Pride" is curious...
Calling the moon and the sun to him like doves in this Codex was a neat bit of foreshadowing of the eclipse that happens at his hand during the endgame. quelling an unquiet earth - striking down the Titans and building the elven empire, like here.
Ghil has her halla head symbol to stamp, June has his own mark. I'm super curious to know what form June's takes. The single lyrium crystal split in two to 'join' the two June eluvians remains me a lot of Quantum Entanglement Communicators in Mass Effect hhh.. "When a pair of quantum-entangled particles is separated, a change to one particle will affect the other instantaneously, wherever it lies in the universe. QECs exploit this effect to transmit binary data any distance. Two pairs of entangled particles are necessary for transmission and reception." it's like that, but Dragon Age.
This reminded me of Codex: Raising the Sonallium.
1) In Thedas astronomy, some of the constellations are theorized or interpreted inworld as representing the Evanuris, like Solium and Elgar'nan, and Tenebrium and Falon'Din. Draconis is a very interesting one - there is speculation in the world that Draconis represented "an unknown eighth Old God stricken from historical record". As we now know, the Tevinter 'Old Gods' are linked to the Evanuris as their dragons/Archdemons. and here we have a possible mention of an 'eighth Evanuris' [on top of the 9 minus 2, Mythal and Fen'Harel] [[I know this codex doesn't say this being was one of them specifically, but for the sake of simplicity I'll just say it]] whose name has also mysteriously been struck out.. 👁️👁️ 2) Theory time. Falon'Din and Dirthamen were each soul fragments of what was originally the same spirit soul/being. Morrigan mentions them as being only one such case of this. the entity "The Healer" here is described as being linked to Sylaise. and in Dalish lore, Sylaise showed them how to heal, how to use herbs and magic for healing purposes. in Dalish lore the Vir Atish'an, the Way of Peace, involves learning Sylaise's wisdom, learning the arts of the healer and the mender. What if this 'eighth Evanuris' was the twin to Sylaise in the way Dirthamen was to Falon'Din? then maybe the healing stuff of 'Sylaise 2' "The Healer" came to be remembered as being associated with 'Sylaise 1' "The Surviving Sylaise" (since originally they were the same being after all, there could have been some shared traits or domains maybe)?
◕‿◕ This whole codex entry was super cool and felt kind of meta, it reminded me of how over the years in the fandom people have debated which one is which and tried to line the two sets up hh.
Beyond Thedas. (remembering the new stuff about the Devouring Storm from across the sea too)
These empty settlements made of crystal and obsidian.. that's suuuch a distinctive image and idea. there's something in that, but what?
maybe it's a volcanic land? interestingly volcanic soil can be very fertile, so in different parts of the same 'volanic land' you could feasibly have (especially in a fantasy world anyways, I'm just babbling for fun here, pls don't take the shit 'geology' etc in this post too seriously lol, ik it probably doesnt make actual real sense) areas of bare volcanic rock/glass next to or not far from areas of rich green lush vegetation growth growing from volcanic soil.. maybe the various sailor expeditions to Amaranth with their conflicting reports of it simply landed in different environs of the same 'volcanic place'? that could account for the differing accounts of what Amaranth is like.
There is this picture from the DA:TV artbook that the crystal and obsidian line really reminds me of -
Caption: "A version of the deserts of Nevarra. In this case, trying something with very high contrast: white ash and sharp black obsidian."
but this is apparently a depiction of Nevarra.
a volcanic land.. the Devouring Storm as a cloud of ash or pyroclastic flow? poison fruit, a poison cloud.. something something.. or the differing reports of the land could simply be separated by time instead of place, and something bad happened like an eruption? or could crystal and obsidian both be formed in the great heat of dragonfire? maybe there's dragons in the mix there somehow right, it's "Dragon Age" (there's always a dragon..) and the Qunari made the adaari using dragon blood to help see and fight "the ancient enemy".. something something.. I think there's more to the DS than simply a natural phenomena tho, as it's framed as an ancient enemy (or the tool of such) of the Qunari, something that was being fought, as having devouring anti-magic/magic-nullifying properties and being very cold [or at least that associated mysterious substance stuff is], but it's fun to think about :)
In The Calling, Duncan found a box in a Circle Tower which contained a strange-looking dagger made of obsidian, and there was something kinda weird about it. I read back some of the descriptions of it and something that struck me:
He handed Fiona’s staff to her and passed the black-bladed dagger to Duncan. The moment Duncan touched it, he felt a strange pulsing deep within the metal. It was cold and strangely . . . off. Yet it had never felt like this before. What could be happening to it?
here his dagger is cold and off. Compare DA:TV codex entry "Mystery Substance" (MS is connected to the DS): "It is cold, for one; ice forms on the vial's sides, even in the warmth of the afternoon sun."
and
“I was hoping!” Duncan raced as fast as he could, intending to stab the man before he could manage another spell. He leaped into the air, his dagger poised for the strike, but it was too late. Remille raised his other hand and a jet of dark shadow poured forth from it. It struck Duncan in the chest and propelled him backwards. He crashed to the ground well away from the mage, screaming in pain as the shadows spread over him like a blanket. It felt like a million ants crawling over his skin, each one biting and tearing away a piece of flesh. He flailed and swatted at the blackness with his free hand, but it was insubstantial. Like a ghost, his hand simply passed through it even though he could feel it consuming him. Desperate, he stabbed at the shadow with his dagger. Better to carve off his own flesh than be eaten whole by this magic. To his surprise, he didn’t stab himself. The moment the blade so much as touched the shadows, they recoiled from it. He began pressing the blade with frenzied haste against his body wherever the darkness touched him, and each time it retreated. Within moments he had escaped, backing against a wall and breathing rapidly. Terror raced through him as he stared at the inky black pool that lay just a foot from him, now sizzling. That could have been me, he thought. He was covered in sweat. The leather armor on his legs was torn up, the skin beneath it covered in slick blood, but he was whole. The dagger almost pulsated now.
and here, magic spell-cast shadows recoil and retreat from the dagger, and it begins to pulsate. compare "Yet there is more to it than a simple chill. I cast several spells on the substance to ascertain its nature (once I removed it from Atrahel's possession; an easy task with one as dull as he) but the magic simply vanished as if consumed. When brought near any active magical ward, unless said ward had been cast with tremendous power, it sputtered and disappeared. A magic that devours all others would be a powerful weapon. If I could channel and master that energy". the MS also fills Atrahel with vim and vigor, where Duncan's dagger prevented him from being affected by the Calling and protected him from Blight corruption.. idk it could totally be nothing at all but it's interesting that some tales of a land across the sea recount obsidian structures, the DS is connected to across the sea stuff, the MS is connected to the DS, the MS is cold and anti-magic/consumes magic, and then you have Duncan's weird obsidian dagger which is cold and anti-magic. could totally be nothing, coincidence or bc [iirc] Duncan's dagger was enchanted and was made of the magic that the Architect taught Remille tho hh.. this post is word salad atp, not even a theory. 💀
This Memento describes that if the human nations call another Exalted March on the elves, Antiva/The Crows will not stand idly by while it happens this time.
Pertaining to the First Days of.. the First Elves...? as they walked for the first time on physical legs and breathed in air into lungs for the first time, maybe struggling to process / attune to their new form of being (flesh bodies rather than spirits)?
pertaining to the final days of Elvhenan? the Evanuris wronged the Titans before the formation of the Veil. the Titans' anger/severed dreams became the Blight, a growing thing that has been used as a weapon (e.g. Ghil) and can bring down gods, and it found frightened elves in their flesh bodies? 🤔
"Pillars" is cool phrasing for this set of Mementos because of the Titans as the Pillars of the Earth stuff :)
House Saelac (of Gorim Saelac fame) had a presence in or association with Kal-Sharok too, at one point.
I'm obsessed by the fact that for centuries Kal-Sharok sent spies out into the world above (and also to Orzammar too it sounds like?) to keep an eye on what was going on, and all that time the people they spoke to never knew from where they came.
Any connection to Codex Entry: Memories of a Duet? [ctrl-f "duet"]
The Fen'Harel art on this one says that this is to do with Solas. his failure in DA:I - the Orb of Fen'Harel lying broken into shards at the end after Corypheus was defeated, its power gone forever. misplaced trust, betrayal.. a whole new set of painful regrets start burning, added to the already large pyre.
Also Solas-related from its art. Sounds like one of his frescoes that he paints right? which god? the phrasing there could be interpreted as 'the god being painted' or 'the god doing the painting' both imo.
If the other two "Remnant" ones are Solas-related chances are this one is as well. a token or statuette of Mythal in dragon-aspect, well-handled by Solas ig q.q death is a parting and all that.
Garahel reference 🥺
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#solas#mass effect#morrigan#queen of my heart#post hit img limit hhh
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