#the world is full of so many weird things in it that are harmless why waste time and energy on hating someone because of this while

[imimoken]

just a passing thought i feel like sharing but it I'll never be not enraged at the amount of content creators that make their entire career around bullying and exposing folks in online communities like furries and therians just because they're "weird and cringe LOL" and because so "deserve" to face hatred and harassment from people who wouldn't even necessarily bother on doing so if it weren't for their 30-something youtuber that likes to "review cringe content online" and by so exposing (a lot of times) minors who are just trying to have fun and older members who are literally causing no harm to anyone.

[euphoria-looney]

Who Said Money Can't Buy You Happiness?

Yan! Batfam x Princess!Reader

Special

"Mother said be good, father said be nice. That was always their advice. So be nice, [name], good, [name]. Nice, good, good nice (tighter!). What's the good of being good if everyone is blind. Always leaving you behind." Prologue: Into the Woods.

(I needed the full thing in it)

Divider Creds: @selysie and @anitalenia

This plot was inspired by @niwaart and @mimiiiiiiiiisstuff

Life is not fair, and while the rich eat like pigs the poor people eat scraps and still are charged no matter if they can afford it or not.

As a princess, I understood that.

I am labeled as the defective princess, the Imperial Princess of Gotham, [name] Wayne.

While all my siblings were intelligent and had strength, talent, and power that upstaged most people, I had none of that, I wasn't smart, actually, I was a complete dunce. I had no strength to my name and was disgracefully unable to use my magic, but I knew I had some...

I had to. Right?

My talent, probably being an embarrassment to my family name.

My mother, she also glanced at me with disgust, she made sure if I wasn't able to do anything useful I'll at least have etiquette while being useless.

I admired my mother, she was beautiful, graceful, sharp, and always upheld her image.

She sneers at me when I mess up, which is all the time, but we don't talk about that.

Oh gosh, and my siblings they were all so amazing.

Barbara held the same personality as our mother, she rose the social class fast. Too bad she doesn't talk to me, I think she would be a great person to take an example from!

Stephanie and Cassandra tagged behind Barbara. They were like those cool trios in the books.

Yes, I read books, but they don't count since they are all novels.

Damian berates me on the fact that I'm nothing like them, but it just shows he cares, doesn't it?

Dick will he coaches Damian he's the #1 Knight of our kingdom and woman all over swoon over him, he talks to me... sometimes.

Duke, well he's a gentleman we don't talk but he's nice enough to greet me.

Jason, well like those novels he'd be titled the 'bad boy' and it does in fact charm lots and lots of ladies.

Tim, it impresses me every time at how smart he is. Maybe that's why we don't have many conversations because I'm not on his level.

And my father, well, it's okay. He's the emperor of course he's busy, I can't ask for attention that would be so childish!

It's of course upsetting when they all hang out without me, but they're just letting me have more time to myself to read! If you think about it they just care about me.

I remember we went to an event, and I was alone and no one talked to me, but it's fine, that's when I met the love of my life, he was like a prince charming, I bumped into him and he caught me before I hit the floor, I swear I fell right then.

Connor Kent.

Then I found out he was in fact a prince! And I got lucky and arranged a marriage with him, he didn't seem as static, but it's okay, arranged marriages usually don't last anyway...

I don't know what took over me, but when they found this orphaned girl one day, out of nowhere, they adopted her, and that's when my life changed.

Serena.

It wasn't fair how she was the apple of everyone's eyes.

She was also clumsy and dumb, she didn't know how to use magic, just like me, but there was a fine line between us. For one I know etiquette and for two, I'm of royal blood.

But instead of also disliking her they doted on her. I let it go until Connor also started being attracted to her. I was enraged.

But kept to myself. I started writing things I felt like doing those things to her. Then slowly I started doing said things. But they were harmless! Mostly...

I always ended up getting caught every single time though.

I still did them though, I don't know I just felt like it, and then I started having dreams of this weird world, about a girl.

Her name, was just like mine, [name] [last name], and she's so cool!

It started off showing what kind of woman she was, a CEO, doctor, lawyer, but mainly an entrepreneur, I didn't know a woman could be in those fields. Also, what are some of those things?

Then those dreams.

"What a bast-, I can't with this main character! Oh and don't even get me started on the family, who wrote this?! And a poly relationship for what? Just for her to focus on one guy? That's it I'm balding. The only character I like is [name] but sometimes I wish she would just stand up for herself!"

Yes, for I found out she was just like me she also liked reading novels.

Her reactions to them were also quite funny, then one day I don't know why but I prayed to the Gods that I wanted to be just like her.

"Go hang yourself! Shitty ahh characters. Go suck a titty."

Okay, not exactly like her.

Then it was the next morning and the maids took a while to finally get me ready, I couldn't stand their murmuring about how terrible I was compared to Serena.

I wanted to rip my hair out when I heard her name.

Then I made an idiotic choice again, I shoved her while on the staircase.

Then my world went black before I woke up startled with NEW MEMORIES.

I had become [name] [last name].

But for some reason, I was smart, I knew how to manage her jobs…

5 years later

It's been, what, 5 years?

[name] was right to be cocky she had every right to be, I feel bad now that I stole her life.

[name] wherever you are I wish you the best.

I wanted to write this to show that both girls will get happy endings, and I rushed this because idk.

Anyway, thanks cuties for the interaction with my last post!

And again with the last post please give me constructive criticism!

Taglist -

@kittzu @charlenexoxo1 @bat1212 @silverklaus @sillysealsies

[miss-tc-nova]

We Want To - Vanitas x Reader

Aww, it's been a while since I got to write about cranky Vani. I really do love him. I hope I stuck to the theme enough though. Sorry if I strayed too far. Excuse the lame title, lol

Premise: Vanitas isn't all that amused at the amusement park

Words: 713

~~~~~

               Inconvenienced, absolutely beyond fed up, Vanitas gets dragged through the crowd towards yet another gaudy, mechanical attraction.

               He’s not entirely sure how he ended up here, let alone in this situation. For the last few weeks, Vanitas has been trying to navigate this strange world. He never thought that his greatest bane would be the whimsical maniac in human guise. He’d barely spent two hours wandering the streets before being bowled over and descended upon by this clown. Somehow, the encounter culminated in daily accosting and today’s torment has been deemed the amusement park. The amount of amusement, however, has been miniscule. Most of the last hour has been trying to decipher his predicament and the fool that dragged him into it.

               An arm flails in the direction of a spinning machine. “This is one of my favorites! It spins really fast and you stick to the wall! But you can’t ride it too many times or you might get sick. I did that once! Like four years ago me and some of my friends—”

               Yet another wild, ridiculous tale from that unstoppable mouth. Still, Vanitas endures the blathering as the line winds down. Eventually, it’s their turn to board.

               His companion isn’t the only one that seems eager for the ride. All the other passengers chatter as they stand in front of panels lining the round room. He doesn’t understand. Everyone was like this on the last one too, but it just seemed like a bunch of jerky, flailing movement. And this one’s just supposed to spin fast. The purpose of this place is beyond him, let alone the reason for all these people to be so riled up about it.

               Hell, his new “friend” has been like this about nearly everything. Every moment is filled with random things. At first it was aggravating, but now, it’s all just weird.

               The ride starts and, true to the explanation, the room spins so fast the gravity pulls him against the wall. People laugh and cheer, some twisting and turning until they’re sideways or upside down. The thrill is lost on him, but Vanitas is fully aware of the mirth from the person beside him. Even as the ride ends, the happiness continues, finally prompting the voicing of his confusion.

               “Why are we doing this?”

               Full attention turns to him. “Huh? What do you mean why?”

               His arms gesture to the colorful world around. “What are we doing here? What’s the point?”

               “There is no point.” That smile drops his guard against his will. “We do it because we want to.”

               The answer is so blunt and simple that he almost misses it. But it makes its mark. Vanitas had done plenty of things because he “wanted to,” in a world far from here. He’s done his best so far to blend in and consider what he’ll do next, but he can’t deny being drawn in by the frivolity of a simple fool. Something about the harmless chaos attracts his attention. Running around without a care in the world as if nothing mattered is so different from the mission-oriented life he has beyond the borders of Quardratum.

               The words slip from his mouth.

               “Do I?”

               Maybe he didn’t “want” to do those things. Hurting others and being hurt in return—the war flashes in his mind and his whole body flinches.

               “Vanitas.”

               Then a hand rests against his arm. His gaze falls on the face of concern.

               “Do you?”

               He’s not sure. But in this moment, he is sure he doesn’t want to think about everything outside this normal, boring, silly, surprising world. He wants to live in this moment.

               With the clown that found him.

               For the first time since he arrived on this world, Vanitas cracks a smile.

               “Yeah, I do.”

               The shock on his friend’s face ignites embers in his ears, but Vanitas continues to smile. Then the enthusiasm comes exploding out. It’s so chaotic he can barely understand what’s being said, but he has to jam his one request in.  

               “Hold on. I wanna do that spinny one again. I could totally stand on the wall in there.”

               In a blink, Vanitas finds himself being dragged through the crowds again, but this time, he feels all the same excitement.

~~~~~

Nova’s Kingdom Hearts Masterlist

[bubblegum-glitch]

The Lines We Won't Cross and How They Change

Let's rewind time a little bit, back to the year 2011. I had joined this little website called tumblr and had made an acquaintance whose confidence would begin to inspire me to branch out and try all kinds of things I never could have seen myself doing before that point in my life. I began recording and publishing vocal covers to YouTube, I started showing off my artwork publicly, and I even posted a single topless photo of myself online - all because I couldn't stop comparing myself to this random fucking girl. If she could do it, so could I...

But I was determined that I could do it better.

The "relationship" I built with this online stranger is a little odd, and probably would throw up several red flags for some people. I can't explain why I felt such a strong sense of rivalry between us, and I know she never felt the same, but there was just something about my interactions with this person that made me want to always do better than her, even to this day (even though I'm 100% sure she doesn't even remember who I am).

Creepy? Weird? Stalker-y? I dunno. Probably. Harmless? Absolutely. All I can say is she is the one who ultimately introduced me to the world of "Topless Tuesdays" and the alternative modelling site "SuicideGirls."

She had posted a set to SuicideGirls as a hopeful, and being in full rival mode at the time I had considered doing the same. Ultimately I decided against it however, as the fear of any member of my family every finding out gave me far too much anxiety to overcome (hold this thought). Not to mention I couldn't bring myself to believe I was "pretty enough" to succeed.

I often wonder what would have come of that if I had ever gone ahead with that hopeful photo-set submission.

But I digress.

Let's jump ahead in the timeline to around 2017/2018 (I can't quite remember when). I had a case of the retail woes, a certificate in photography, and a foolish idea to escape the Hellscape that is customer service once and for all. The internet had informed me that feet pics were in and there was mountains of cash just waiting for me, all I had to do was step on a twinkie or two.

Long story short (or short story shorter) I failed in this business venture pretty much immediately. It's harder than you think to market and sell pictures of your tootsies.

Now, let's spin back a bit to where I mentioned my fear of my family discovering my nudity online. This is a topic I will address a bit more in a future post, but I will let you know now that although my parents do try their best to steer more towards the life of liberal boomers, they are still very uncertain of LGBTQA+ topics and VERY against sex work. I have built a strong and close relationship with my mother, but if she ever discovered what I've begun doing for work I believe it would ruin all of what we have.

Early in 2023 I began weighing that fear of my family discovering me against the possibility of actually making a living wage by taking my shirt off for strangers online. After many discussions with my husband (who has been fully supportive since day one) and a long time of back and forth with my decision, I finally decided to give OnlyFans a try.

Originally I had no intentions of posting more than some topless photos. I used what I knew about photography, photo editing, and makeup to my advantage to create some high quality, if a little bit minimal, content. Upon seeing there was some interest, but being unable to hold the attention of anyone for long, I decided to step over that initial line I had drawn for myself and posted some full nudes. Immediately I started seeing a positive response and suddenly I had a little extra spending money.

At that time I said that this was as far as I was willing to go. Excuse my vulgarity here but I had no intentions of doing pussy pics or spreading my asshole. Tasteful nudes, and no farther.

I stuck to that line for about a year, until the inevitable "Fuck it" moment I previously posted about occurred in July of 2024. I stepped over the line again and started posting some more risque content at a premium rate. It was then that my OnlyFans really started to take off and I was seeing actual financial gain in response.

Once more I drew a new line for myself that I swore I would not cross. Absolutely no video content.

But then I couldn't stop considering making that video content. I would think about it so often that I actually began frequently dreaming about creating pornographic films.

So once again I turned to my partner and we discussed the pros and cons, and eventually I decided to dip a toe over the edge and get a sense of the temperature of the deep end.

Admittedly, that first masturbation video I made embarrassed the fuck out of me. I felt exposed, I felt ugly, and I felt very stupid. But then the response to it came.

"I love this."

"That was so hot."

"You're so gorgeous."

"More, please."

So I decided to try again, and again, and then suddenly I fucking LOVED making the videos. The sense of empowerment, the ego boost - It gives me this absolute sense of control. Something I have been missing in every single career I've ever had in my life.

It was about the third video that I realized "This is it. This is exactly what I want to keep doing with my life for the next several years."

But this is the point where I want to say this to anyone reading my blog who is considering this vocation as a future (or even current) option:

Set your rules early. Understand what you do and do not feel comfortable doing, and express that to your followers. You NEVER have to do anything that you are not comfortable with, even if it's what people are trying to push you to do. At the end of the day it is about your level of comfort, not their level of enjoyment. Set the line you will not cross and do not cross it unless YOU want to. You might have to work a little harder to build a community, but you can get there.

I still have multiple things I will not do, some of which I will likely never do, and others I might be open to one day exploring.

There is no timeline in existence where I will ever be comfortable sexting someone. I'm not even comfortable doing that with my own husband. It's just not for me.

I will not do the dom/sub stuff.

BDSM - Yeah, not happening.

Fetish content - It depends, I have no problem sitting on a cake and giving my husband a foot job, but most Fetish content is a nope from me.

Threesomes? Absolutely not.

Meetups? Hell to the fucking no. My husband is the only person I'm sleeping with and I'm firm on that, thank you.

In this industry you are the boss. What you say goes and your followers can either take what you're giving and appreciate what you do, or they can pack up and find someone else to pester with their more extreme requests.

Who you are and what your destiny is belongs to you and only you. Don't let anyone convince you to change if that's not what you want to do.

Never be afraid to say no.

---

As a side note before I close out this entry, I've opened up an Askfm account so you can ask me anything anonymously. It can be about me, about my journey, or even just general advice for starting work in this industry. I'm by no means an expert, but if I can offer some insight to help you out I would be honoured to do so!

[stardeer-valley]

Fall 8, Year 1 Some time during the night, a phenomenon occurred; a Stone Owl statue appeared on Avalon Farm. As the Wizard Magnus is the protector of the valley, he set out to investigate where it appeared. When he arrived, he heard a commotion unlike anything he had ever heard before. At first he though the full coop was the source, before he started to look around. All the debris and trees were cleared, as were the huge stumps and logs, and boulders. Then he found the commotion. Across the river bisecting the farm, the local peryton had found the Stone Owl first. Whatever magical phenomenon occurred to spawn it here must've registered as an intruder to Beep. (Marlon had told him the locals had given the peryton a name) The deer look-a-like had ruffled his fur all along his neck and spine, tail fully bristled. Wings splayed out in what would be typical of a threat display. But something was wrong. There was an... aura. One that didn't feel like anything ever felt during the Wizard's travels. And the normal blue of Beep's eyes were replaced with darkness. This peryton was more than outside of the usual habitat. How did it come to this world? Why? This discovery lead to many more questions. As of now; This creature had shown itself to be harmless to the locals, and no threat to the safety of the Valley... so far. There was no need to alert Marlon just yet...... ——— Shoving a bit of my fursona's lore into this because idk. Maybe this'll explain how the Weird Ass Deer got here in the first place. Maybe I'll do a secret side plot that has nothing to do with Stardew Valley, Expand Dong or not, for the fuck of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fuck if I know. I'm bullshitting any lore or character interactions beyond the log as I write the description. I put literally little-to-no forethought into the "plot" of this au. I am not a smart deer. ——— Things different from canon; (AU???) Gramps never had an heir, or they never show/ed up. Special new farm map; Frontier Farm! Stardew Valley Expanded; new maps, new NPCs, new events, a LOT of new stuff. The new “Farmer” is just a Weird Ass Deer. NPCs will respond/react accordingly. This is my first time playing Stardew Valley Expanded, so I’m learning as I go. (Please no spoilers if you play SVE)

[keef-a-corn]

Dat’s right! It’s everyone’s favourite ‘Keef watches TFP and all you get are the notes!’

Maybe I should make a cover for this series.

ANYWHO! I’m watching season 1, Episode 10: Deus Ex Machina.

I write down timestamps, but I watch Transformers Prime on Stan (and Australian streaming service) so they may be slightly off.

~~~~Transition~~~~

00:00 - I know that’s my favourite book ‘World History’.

00:04 - please tell me that everyone else saw her just break the fourth wall.

00:11 - Bulkhead’s an asshole if Miko can hear the car from inside the building.

00:14 - Read.. 150 pages? Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never been to detention (I haven’t even gotten a slip [3 slips means detention]) so I could be wrong but.. isn’t detention formed by a variety of students? Not everyone’s going to be reading the same thing so how can a teacher assign such vague homework?

00:41 - In Bulkhead’s rear view you can actually see the teacher.

~Intro~

01:39 - I may have yelled ‘what the fuck?’ When I saw that cactus. Why did they get a real cactus?

01:43 - Bulkhead’s hovering above the road.

02:15 - Bots not understanding human expressions. So beautiful.

02:25 - Jack sounding exactly like an older brother, then Bulkhead ignoring him is hilarious.

02:37 - this has the same energy as ‘you’re going to end up at McDonald’s if you don’t do your work. We going to McDonalds if I don’t do my work? :D’

02:51 - you already KNOW Greek viewers went crazy.

03:16 - ‘those’ being a car… although still sounds kinda racist. Transformist? Modist? That sounds like modest.

03:17 - mmm I like when they have very.. civil reactions to comments.

03:24 - pssst guys… it’s a height difference

03:27 - I get that this part is supposed to show that Starscream considers Knockout inferior, but like… he knows that decepticons also need to have ground support that aren’t just vehicons, right?

03:30 - honestly, go off, K.O. Ya look good.

03:44 - that must be such a weird sight.

04:11 - Miko’s an idiot. I will explain further. She’s been rejected from every other mission, regardless of what it was and when Bulkhead notices a connection between Miko’s school work and a harmless mission, let’s her join. Why would Miko assume that it’s anything other than school related??

04:25 - Bulk didn’t need to justify how he knew that.

04:52 - randomly including democracy, alright

05:04 - he’s got looks, brains and fighting ability. Can you tell who’s one of my top Decepticons?

05:07 - he means boyfriend. (I’m like fairly certain that in some canon they are in a relationship)

05:09 - Where’s Starscream lookin?

05:43 - they’re ex boyfriends

06:26 - Bulkhead angst potential.

06:33 - HOW THE FUCK IS THE QUALITY SO GOOD??

06:37 - what’s he supposed to be pointing at rn?

06:47 - I dunno why but that just reminded me that Bayverse Bumblebee was in WW2.

06:52 - that’s really smart

07:11 - why are there so many dangerous weapons??

07:20 - Arcee decided to use a double negative than say ‘Miko’s right’ + Bee looks lifeless. Like I got jumpscared by him.

07:30 - no it doesn’t. I checked.

07:32 - I think Bee was just zoned out because he’s eyes/Optics are now full+ Bulkhead’s lean is beautiful.

07:34 - Optimus’s boobs are too big. He can’t see the screen.

07:40 - OH! LOOK AT THAT! FOWLER PROVING TO BE USELESS.

07:48 - I get the joke being ‘oh he’s a machine’ but honestly- I agree with Ratchet.

07:52 - I’m gonna be honest… I cried looking at Bee from Optimus’s perspective. He looks like a puppy!

07:54 - *cri* he’s so cute.

07:58 - confiscate as in remove dangerous weapon.

08:18 - Here we witness an idiot forgetting that they turn into cars.

08:29 - Miko using her brain. Woo!

08:39 - Optimus saying ‘Bulkhead’. I need a compilation of Optimus saying each Autobot’s name. (Specifically Bumblebee tho)

08:47 - ‘aw fuckin Soundwave’ ~ my genuine reaction when it showed that Soundwave was back at his hijinks

08:48 - draw the gang like this.

08:57 - that’s… what the frag… that’s so messed up.

09:21 - it might just be me, but wouldn’t it make more sense for either Bee or Arcee to be parked up front and Optimus at the back? Considering that people there have cars like Bee and Arcee’s a motorbike so it would look fairly normal. Then Optimus as the back to look like he’s museum property. I could be wrong tho.

09:46 - …Fnaf SB was def inspired by this so. I will not hear otherwise.

10:06 - Just seeing Optimus like that reminds me… why don’t the other have holoforms like Arcee? Their windows don’t have a heavy enough tint that an absence of driver does goes unnoticed.

10:55 - Knockout flirting with Optimus is such a silly idea.

11:08 - that was smooooooooth.

11:24 - Optimus lookin around, then looking down to see Knockout is actually really funny. I bet that happens all the time at the base.

11:30 - the way Optimus’s foot/pede bends implies that he can go on the tip of his toes and that fills me with immense joy.

11:37 - that’s a horrifying sight.

11:59 - Woo! Bee!

12:05 - NO! BEE!

12:10 - Okay but like Arcee could’ve dodged that initial missile(?) with a smaller turn, means she wouldn’t have crashed into Bee. + Whump potential anyone? + Bee does a backflip. Get on his level goddamn.

12:13 - Knockout really took down Optimus and just stood on him. Power move.

12:31 - if they’ve only NOW gotten it down, then there’s something wrong with them.

12:38 - Knockout reacted before Optimus started to move, but I now understand why Knockout stood on Optimus.

12:43 - that could’ve looked so cool.

12:44 - but Optimus said no

13:10 - Damn, Miko..

13:12 - She was complying yet the officer decided to be really rough.

13:18 - I now point out the foreshadowing when Bulkhead talked about Miko getting arrested.

13:25 - Soundwave got them feminine legs. Go off, king.

13:30 - that was a forced ‘gulp’ and I love it.

13:37 - Harry Potter, or whatever.

13:42 - Optimus, how long have you been lying on the floor, Primus.

13:53 - Shoutout to bots that can do backflips. Gotta be one of my favourite genders.

14:07 - And do what?.

14:08 - Mmmm Y E S. (Optimus said Bulkhead and Miko)

14:36 - a good liar doesn’t hesitate like that, Miko.

14:42 - DAMN THOSE BACKGROUNDS BEAUTIFUL AF.

15:06 - Ratchet in the corner.

15:07 - HOW THOUGH?! HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT, BULKHEAD??

15:38 - Does anyone else now get annoyed at Bulkhead? Like dude! Ratchet needed that! Couldn’t you have punched a wall or something??

16:06 - EXACTLY!

16:08 - shut up, Jack.

16:23 - bots feeling strong emotions are more heavily animated.

16:49 - that’s how I act and I’m feeling called out Ò-Ó

17:17 - did anyone else feel deeply disturbed watching that?

17:45 - Bulkhead lookin like a penguin.

17:52 - When you compare that walk to other bots (such as Bee or Arcee) you can especially tell the Bulkhead is not made for swift movements. He’s shaky on his pedes/feet when he went from uneven to stable ground and from the slide into a run.

18:00 - most realistic r action right there.

18:04 - Knockout’s significantly faster than Breakdown he’s just decided that instead of using his quick strides to run forward, he’s going side to side.

18:12 - LMAO

18:27 - I FORGOT THIS HAPPENS. THAT’S SO MESSED UP.

18:37 - Take that out of context. I dare you.

18:57 - okay, this looks awesome af.

19:16 - take THAT out of context-

19:27 - OOOOH I get it! Because traditionally it’s ‘fight or flight’ but because their both cars he said ‘drive’

19:50 - Awww look at them. That’s sad. They also kinda look like video game characters, especially because their eyes aren’t glowing the way they usually do. (Sorry I couldn’t get a clearer photo)

19:59 - this is what I sound like when I’m talking about Polar Bears.

21:03 - I would like to acknowledge that TFP is bad with letting characters take a moment to recover. The more this happens, the more you’ll hear about it.

———————

And that was Deus Ex Machina.

Honestly I’m not a big fan of this episode. It’s okay, but definitely doesn’t stand out as much as it could’ve. I thought the plots were very weak and there were very few iconic moments. Considering that this was the first appearance of Knockout and Breakdown, it’s an underwhelming reveal.

[mysterionrisez]

i admittedly have not watched most of, or even half of south park (new fan/little free time/poor attention span) so im sure there are MANY more examples to choose from.. but i feel like butters' bottom bitch is pretty representative of butters' autonomous control over his actions without really having full, conscious control. his internal motivations and external behaviors are clearer here than in his other Situations because 1. hes not in any way being puppeteered by cartman, so he does in fact have full control ("dude, we've created a monster.") and 2. he truly does not know what he's doing. we know already that butters is very emotionally immature, and has little understanding of himself or the world around him. throughout this whole episode, he's parroting the exact words and actions of others. it's clear by his permanently innocent tone of voice that his actions are never intentionally malicious. but at the same time, it's not because he was forced to make the decisions but because he can't pick up on intention, so he sees no issue with what he does. he just chooses whatever has the best outcome (money + a positive reputation) and at the same time minimal punishment.

because like.. the thing is that cartman doesn't really fear much. he doesn't fear punishment or anything. he finds ways to work around punishment, and of course much of this has to do with being raised by liane cartman, vs butters who is raised by the stotches. but he considers each factor of every Ruse he carries out, including the aftermath. and as weird as it is to say... cartman does have some form of empathy, he's TERRIFYINGLY good at understanding where people are coming from and working from whatever angle they're at. so everything he does is intentional. he never accidentally goes overboard. he knew what he was doing every step of the way in the scott tenorman episode. he knew what he wanted, and he got exactly that, as fucking deranged as it all was. and in many ways, this makes him worse than butters. because he's just like... an implicitly evil and disgusting person. who does bad things, and thrives off of that. but he never really does much more than he needs.

however, in a lot of ways butters is a lot scarier! because he DOESNT have empathy, he DOESNT make conscious choices, and he DOESNT know when he went overboard. when butters is "intentionally evil" we end up with professor chaos, who is more or less, in the show at least, shown to be harmless. even though thats his "evil persona", he doesnt actually know which actions are EVIL and which aren't. all of his self perceived "evil" actions, like in professor chaos & the ungroundable, are just things that lead to punishment. he doesn't do anything "immoral" in super fun time but he was TOLD to stay with cartman and he KNOWS that being told to do something = being punished if he doesnt. but all that's to say, he doesn't seem to understand what's wrong with pimping girls out on the playground, despite that being like.. an actually way scummier thing to do than ditching a school trip. like, in the scene where hes trying to recruit wendy and bebe into his whole mission, despite the fact that they're both clearly like hey! we're uncomfortable! and with stan telling him off, too, he only takes it as "oh, they don't want to do this. but i can convince them why it'd actually be the most beneficial option." like.. he CANNOT wrap his head around why they wouldn't wanna be whored out yknow, lol.

and i just thought of this now.. but this premise is made especially clear in post covid. cartman grows into a better person... behaviors wise, but from what we can tell all of his motivations are the same. he just knows that starting fresh, being nicer, starting a family, presenting as a jewish convert... will give him more credibility than everything he did as a kid. he just like, actually KNOWS these things. but who ACTUALLY grew up to become a classic supervillain was BUTTERS. and then we meet him, and he still fucking acts like that. literally a manchild!!!!

[rivetgoth]

what do you think of cursedindustrialconfessions on instagram? and other fandom style confession accounts?

personally i don't find much issue with the accounts themselves but some of the comments and confessions are truly cursed 💀

Been sitting on this ask since I woke up trying to figure out why it doesn’t sit right but yk, here— I don’t have any interest in name dropping specific accounts or pages and talking shit on them (OR conversely praising accounts who I think are the "right" kind of fan). I obviously vagued a few specific instances I’ve seen of behavior I found inappropriate from online “industrial fans” in the original post I made but even then kept usernames out of it and even then I was trying to emphasize that all of these are examples of a larger problem, not that One Particular Guy is the harbinger of inappropriate industrial fan behavior lol. I already shared the bulk of my thoughts about “fandomizing” real life musicians and real life music subcultures/communities and my distaste for it, but ultimately every single topic (especially things that are ultimately not life threatening and I’d even go as far as to call a First World Problem) is going to have plenty of nuance and grey area and I think it’s counterproductive and even hypocritical personally for me to start making lists of the Good and Bad industrial fans/pages. That just as much goes against my view of the industrial scene as a community as the stuff I was bitching about to begin with.

I’m honestly a little nervous about the post I made getting a decent amount of notes to begin with because it’s not like I was trying to write the absolute manifesto on Correct or Moral fan behavior, though I think sometimes my posts are mistaken for such because I write a lot and very passionately (sorry), I was just complaining about trends I’ve seen in online industrial music spaces that feel disrespectful or rub me the wrong way, and ultimately was just trying to strongly emphasize that this subculture is an incredibly important real life community for me full of people I absolutely adore and I don’t like seeing the music or the people who make it fandomized or treated like weird quirky characters, with their experiences and traumas not taken seriously. Obviously there is a grey area to any of it, and ultimately I think stuff like memes or jokes about these guys, fan creations ranging from DIY’d clothing to fan art to fan edits to cosplay to whatever else, and even expressing sexual attraction towards them is generally harmless and normal when it’s done respectfully and thoughtfully, keeping in mind these are real people with real traumas, who are not that famous, who can and do look themselves up online and see what’s going on, or have friends who do and then send it to them. Like, I was planning to make that post BEFORE Ogre spoke up about how he was reading comments online about people complaining about the show not being as bloody as prior ones and how it upset him because the older shows were an expression of authentic pain and suffering and even literal self harm and this new show was an intentional movement towards something new and the fact that he’s in a better place in life now… He said that because he saw firsthand what people were saying about him online!

So idk man. But ultimately if you really really want my thoughts? I think any time something is described as “fandom style” in the context of real people or an active real life music subculture all of my hair bristles like a scared animal and my fight or flight response kicks in lol. And I ultimately think that y’all are gonna have to decide for yourselves what you’re okay with rather than ask me, because Lord knows I am not the keeper of all that is objectively right and true. I think some of MY opinions for what is or isn’t okay might actually be more extreme than others (like I said in my previous post—I’m much more neutral on RPF than many I’ve seen, which I think is a controversial take? I just think like anything else there is lots of nuance in that conversation. Idk.), I just encourage anyone calling themselves an industrial fan or viewing it as a fandom to try dipping their toes into an IRL alt music scene and start talking more to old timers and going to shows and clubs and making friends and connections that way with other people who are devoting parts of their life to actively engaging with the community surrounding this music face to face because I think it can very quickly change your perspective for the better and kinda demystify some of the more fandom-y mindsets that these guys are larger than life caricatures to be memed on the same way you would talk about like, Herbert West or Will Graham or whatever.

[fortanreviews]

Big Bad Fortrant: Twitter (Part 1)

When I first joined Internet 13 years ago (”joined” as in made my first online account in anything, I had lurked for few years before that), Twitter was a boring website whose character limit was a stupid gimmick. Most people around me thought the site was terrible and mainly served as a place where celebrities could make an update about taking a shit. Just like Facebook, I avoided it because I didn’t want to post my real face under any circumstances.

I created my first twitter account in 2012 because I wanted to smear the name of my rival at the time, G0ATFAC3. I mainly ended up sending angry replies to wrestlers and Barack Obama, and then I got banned. 

I made another twitter account in 2013, this time using my real name, I can’t remember why. I suppose it was because I wanted to spread my online presence I guess? I remember there were some finnish comedians that I wanted to follow. Yes, back then Twitter was quite different. It was more of a chill site where people often made jokes and provided insightful anecdotes about recent events of their lives. I thought it’d be a nice break amidst all the drama and stupidity that rest of my Internet life was full of. That sentence is insanely ironic in hindsight. My biggest highlight during that time was getting a finnish life improvement guru Jari Sarasvuo to respond to me after I posted “Jari Sarasvuo scares me”. It was actually an inside joke that originated from one of my gag dubs of Dingo Pictures’s “Lion and the King”. I was not expecting a response and somehow it drove 17 year old me bananas.

I continued to post on twitter, putting out my silly thoughts. And then in 2016, Orange Man came to power and Twitter changed forever.

Twitter became a much more political site than it previously was, even in non-America parts of the world. I believe I abandoned my twitter around this time, but I wouldn’t delete it until 2020 or so.

Twitter’s culture was mostly mainstream, there were not that many big fandom spaces, many of them were instead on tumblr. And all of that changed when this site commited the biggest fuckup in the history of big fuckups, that is right, the porn ban.

Porn ban could be considered the beginning of when Twitter started taking strangehold of internet culture. Many porn artists moved there, but also people who complained about the existence of porn, because they had nobody to bully and harass. These people created a subculture of their own, the Yikes Sweeties.

Yikes Sweetie is a person who is looking for things to get offended at, many of the things they get offended at however are either trivial or related to big issues, but so insignificant in the scale of the big issue, that resolving or getting rid of the offense would not change the big issue one bit. The name “Yikes sweetie” is short for a sentence that is often used when parodying “Twitter checkmarks”, “Yikes sweetie let’s unpack this”. Sometimes it’s also “yikes sweaty” but I’ve never seen anyone use “sweaty” unironically.

The reaction to trivial bullshit of Yikes Sweeties is emphasized in their name, at least when tumblr was at it’s peak, most tumblr users addressed people they were offended by with “shitlord” or something to that effect. There was a genuine sense of offense in that response. However in Twitter, people adapted the passive-aggressive politeness of tumblr, missed the point completely and as such people often use words like “oof” and “yikes” to respond to things that are either super offensive or not offensive at all. This weird playground speak is so impossible to take seriously, which just increases their trivialiness. “Sweetie” is probably short for “you sweet summer child”, which was often used in negative connotations.

Unfortunately, Yikes Sweeties are not harmless. They often gang up on people they see as their enemies, they smear them with a bunch of labels, they will likely doxx them and possibly try to get them to commit suicide. This is often assumed to be part of a larger phenomenon known as “cancel culture”, but I say “yikes culture” and “cancel culture” are two different things with some overlap.

“Cancel culture”, much like many words that have become popular in the internet, has lost its meaning. Some people say “oh it’s just accountability”, but often times cancel culture targets those who have done jokes in the past that aged badly, like what happened with James Gunn. I don’t want to dwell too much in anglosphere politics but i feel ‘cancel culture’ just means when people get mad at twitter at a famous person for fucking up.

“Yikes culture” leaves out the ‘famous’ and ‘person’ parts, and they get mad at anyone AND anything for expressing something that is problematic. This ranges from works of fictional media with no limit on release date to randos online. Probably the best example of Yikes Sweetieism is the Space Buns incident. For those of you who don’t know, an user on Twitter posted an image of her character having a hairstyle called “Space buns”. Instantly she was flooded with angry messages calling her a racist, colonialist, fascist and a pedophile for wearing a “black-only” hair. It even led to Nintendo themselves commenting that hair isn’t limited to one skin color. While the controversy eventually calmed down, the person in question still gets harassed to this day for having Space Buns by terminally online weirdos, the Yikes Sweeties.

Yeah, being terminally online is a key part of Yikes Sweetie’s identity. These people don’t go outside that often, rarely exit their comfort zone, and quite honestly have very few actual hardships in their lives. They spend their time all day on Twitter, doomscrolling to their heart’s content. The minute there is potential for an outrage or controversy, they pile up on anything they see. They pile up on a person for enjoying “irredeemable media”, they pile up on a popular content creator for doing a stupid joke 5, 10 or 30 years ago and so forth. Anything to make themselves look superior, “I’m glad I’m a good person” they tell themselves. They don’t want redemption, they don’t want apologies, they want the person who did the mistake to kill themselves. And nothing proved this more than Alec Holowka’s suicide.

Alec Holowka was the creator of “Night in The Woods” a popular indie game. He was baselessly accused of sexual harassment by an attention-hungry gaming personality known as Zoe Quinn. Many Yikes Sweeties saw this as an opportunity to cancel him and boycott his work, as well as harass anyone who defended him. What they didn’t anticipiate was a devastating consequence of their actions. Alec Holowka ended up taking his own life. There were a lot of people that were shocked by this, but many Yikes Sweeties celebrated his death, because he would never harm anyone else. Other Yikes Sweeties, including Zoe Quinn, were upset Alec rather took his own life rather than face consequences. Now, his company is actually making a sequel to “Night in the Woods” without his involvement, which is just the top of the scumminess in all accounts.

Yikes Sweeties thrive on the power of tearing other people down, it is all based on their messiah complex, their desire for “moral justice” in the form of harassment, doxxing and abuse. They are no different from christians calling everything “satanic” or high school mean girls spreading rumors about the weird kid in their class and ruining their lives as a result. Yikes Sweeties don’t have empathy and believe that every mistake, no matter how trivial and insignificant, should be met with the most extreme punishment.

Twitter plays a huge role in encouraging Yikes Sweetie behaviour. Back in the days of Tumblr, even the biggest social justice warriors didn’t support mindless harassment. In Twitter however, Yikes Sweeties have the platform to spread their toxic behaviour and attack others. And you can’t fight back against them without being labeled every word in the Yikes Sweetie’s handbook. The platform’s character limit contributes to the rise of Yikes Sweeties, as it allows for accusatory and attacking responses without room for thought.

Nobody wants to call the Yikes Sweeties out in fear of being labeled by them. Those who have tried have either fallen into the other extreme, or disappeared completely. Let me end this rant on a cautionary tale about a Yikes Sweetie named Bruce Mitchell.

Sorry about the jumpscare.

Bruce was a wrestling journalist working for PWTorch, a pro wrestling news website. He had been with the company for nearly three decades and was a trusted name in the industry. Bruce Mitchell was often calling out mainstream wrestling companies such as WWE for angles that he considered racist. These includes matches where one side of wrestlers was white and other side was black, or a scene where black wrestlers did literally anything. He considered everything black person did on TV besides wrestling racist, as he often claimed it was based on an obscure minstrel era stereotype or imitation of “ghetto” culture.

Bruce got flack when he posted this tweet when he learned that pro wrestler Keith Lee was using a finisher called “Big Bang Catastrophe”, initials BBC.

Bruce was lecturing a black man for a joke they wanted to do. Understandably Twitter got upset at him for his high horse behaviour, only for Mitchell to double down and claim that he was the biggest expert on black issues and he compared himself to white people who ended slavery. The truth is, Mitchell’s own claim of credentials to understanding black culture was having two black roommates while he was in college and going to black-only strip clubs with them. Yes, seriously.

A lot of people pointed out the irony of Bruce acting like a person from that “crowd of black people worshipping a white woman” meme when he lived in Greensboro, a city with a long history of racism and segregation, and Mitchell's comments seemed to reflect that ignorance.

However that wasn’t the end of Mitchell, in December 2020. Wrestler Brody Lee tragically passed away. Mitchell posted an article few days later claiming that Brody Lee died from COVID-19, and AEW was covering it up. This earned the ire of Brody Lee’s widow who blasted Bruce, and this led to an internet-wide backlash against Mitchell’s comments. Wade Keller, Bruce’s co-worker who was in charge of approving the article, dodged all responsibility to save his skin and fired Mitchell. The Yikes Sweetie had been eaten by other Yikes Sweeties.

Bruce tried to have brief internet presence but whenever he showed up people would call him out for writing the article, despite apologizing for it. He ultimately ended up disappearing forever from the internet. While I think the reaction to the article was blown out of proportion, Bruce was faced with karma for being an overreacting fool who was obsessed with being morally superior and talking on behalf of black people.

When I talk about Yikes Sweeties, I don’t talk about actual activists who are fighting for their rights to survive. Yikes Sweeties are often sitting in their ivory towers, looking for any way to make themselves feel superior and act like a good person. They have rarely, if ever, faced any kind of hardships, and if they have, they often use those hardships as a weapon to protect themselves from criticism.

However, Yikes Sweeties are only a small part of what makes Twitter a horrible place. While they’re easily the biggest problem I have with the site’s community, they’re certainly not the only ones. I will talk about them another time, hence “Part 1″ in the title.

[regarding-stories]

Shows I've recently watched (and it's all anime...)

I guess I'm getting some use out of that Crunchroll subscription... though this phase started on Netflix. Shows with links I wrote more about elsewhere. Presented in no particular order.

Uncle From Another World: I love this show. Quirky characters, subverted expectations, lots of laughs. 17 year old obsessed with video games lives in a fantasy world while in a coma, wakes up 17 years later. The show plays the issues of all characters in a satisfying way. If the manga is anything to go by, will get more serious and heartfelt.

Re: Zero - Starting Life in Another World: Extremely good show, highly recommended. Plenty of gore, you're warned. But resolutions in this show are ever so rewarding. Great Isekai world building - with a time loop twist.

Handyman Saito: Funny in a cute way, rather inconsistent. Rather gimmicky and tends to make too many crude jokes.

Romantic Killer: Oh, that one really got me. This show made me laugh so hard! It has a unique style that it plays very well. Girl resists being forced into romance-sim plot. Lots of character development all around. When you're not laughing it gives you the feels. Definitely deserves another season.

The Quintessential Quintuplets: I liked it so much, I watched the two seasons twice in a row. Seeing the movie conclusion in the cinema soon. Funny that I pick it up right before the release of that movie. Great characters, tears, laughs, heartbreak. Whatever the conclusion will be, I will be sad. And probably mad.

Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash: It's a good Isekai story with a slower pace. The anime will not continue, though, and the books are an annoying disappointment. Who on Earth can stand Ranta?

In/Spectre: An unexpected show. Lots of talking - in fact, weaving of narratives, alibis, and coverups is the main theme of the show. If you like smartasses, you won't be able to resist the main character - a goddess of wisdom with a mouth and some issues. All stories feel like they have depth and logic to them, plus you get to meet some of Japan's outlandish spirits and monsters. If you make it through the Steel Lady Nanase arc that takes up so much space. Can be gory.

Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation: An extremely good fantasy story, but the show's depiction of an adult reborn as a child in another world can be sometimes very cringy to watch. Why? Because as adult he lived as shut-in (hikikomori) without human relations and developed some kinks he obsesses with. If you can see past that, you will find an actually extremely decent protagonist who grows a lot during the show - and away from that. Mostly. We also learn what traumatized him. His depiction is very honest in many ways, so the uncomfortable and weird is there for a reason. For the same reason, the humor can really hit home. Very detailed world that feels alive. Sudden dramatic reversals. I will write an article about the character arc of Eris (female love interest) soon because I think it is amazing, especially in the way it concludes. Started reading the books to continue, and it's definitely readable material.

SPY x FAMILY: This show is extremely funny, but it's also heart-warming. Telepathic child, woman with side job as assassin, and undercover spy form a fake family of convenience - and neither of the adults knows about the hidden side of the other, nor of the power of the child. And the family of course grows to be more liek the real thing. This show requires some suspension of disbelief, but it is just extremely enjoyable.

BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense: A light-hearted show which can be fun. The humor worked quite well for 2-3 episodes, pretty harmless, then I started losing interest for lack of stakes. Still, might revisit it.

Cautious Hero: In many ways a good show and parody of the Isekai genre. Unfortunately full of boob jokes and really has a problem with depicting women. At least the behavior of the protagonist gets an explanation in the end - it recontextualizes a few things. That doesn't vindicate the rest, but it was... watchable. I definitely wanted to see it to end.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: It's fun, but somehow I lost interest within 2-3 episodes. It seemed predictable at that point, but maybe that would change...?

The Way of the House Husband: Well, I continued it. (I think they uploaded new episodes.) The show is fun and funny. Former Yakuza member turns into house husband, displays same intensity when it comes to chores. At times surreal, the art style is very interesting.

I wish another season of Dorohedoro were to be announced. Netflix will never become a mainstay for anime (most of the aforementioned stuff was on Crunchyroll) if it remains so inconsistent in releasing new seasons.

[mangodestroyer]

Studying the freeze response to trauma has... helped me figure so many things out about myself. I thought I was just tired and lazy. No, I'm actually a very hyperactive individual deep down. I don't get it. How can one feel so tired but actually have repressed energy? I might have been dissociating because of repressed energy (not being able to do shit about my situation so escaping through my intense imagination). It's so weird because when I dissociate, I sometimes feel like I'm not real, that nothing is real. I feel like I'm fading out but also reaching another level of existence and sensing things about reality that others can't. I feel out of touch with others. I sometimes feel like other people aren't real and like I'm almost hallucinating everything.

So... how the hell can this trippy ass, fading out feeling mean I have too much energy and am not using it? Let me tell you, psychology is weird. But hey, figuring this out is helping me so much. Allowing myself to be hyperactive and just do things... it's making me feel a TON better. Literally, just cleaning, watching TV, stimming, talking up a storm on my Tumblr... it's all helping me so much. I've even been getting myself to write more, so YAY!

It feels good to have energy! I just wish I would have known this sooner. Sadly, I haven't met a therapist who even came close to touching upon my dissociation. I was so confused by these episodes and didn't even know what to make of them, but they would just be mistaken for general anxiety disorder and depression. Which, don't get me wrong, I do have those things, but they aren't the full picture. Turns out, what I might have needed was a trauma therapist. The reason why therapy wasn't working for me was because normal therapy doesn't do enough to address trauma. It only helps manage some of the symptoms.

This is why I don't get the stigma behind doing the research on mental illness yourself. I get it, there are people who fake disorders for attention. But some of us are genuinely looking for answers and are trying to find ways to better live our lives. Also, why are people so adverse to the idea of others being neurodivergent? A huge chunk of the population has at least one mental condition. And that's okay. A lot of these conditions are harmless when accommodated appropriately and modern life just isn't friendly to the human condition in general. The world would be boring if we were all "normal."

[machine-gun-casie]

HEYY pls a headcanon of pete davidson reacting to someone flirting with you or some jealousy typo PLS

okay so i don't really do headcanons and my requests are closed butttt i have been in a rut recently and this just might be what i need so here you go my first headcanon type thing:

p.s. this turned into more of a blurb/one shot thing so sorry

i don't see pete being jealous just because of how he copes with jokes, so i see loads of self deprecating humor if his significant other was being flirted with

buttt i do see him getting defensive if its getting old like u said no to the same person a couple times or to too many people in one night then he would step up and make sure people know ur his

but with harmless flirting from strangers i cant see him caring much

which is why we're exploring both ideas here

okay so i imagine this happening at pete's job, so snl

maybe not saturday night itself, but during the week

you're on the way to pete's office with some lunch from your favorite restaurant and you bump into none other than....

we're gonna say it's jack harlow just cuz of tiktok's latest obsession with him but u can imagine anyone else

and at first ur confused until it clicks, this is the musical guest

"Oh, hi!" You smile, "I didn't know you were the musical guest this week, that's awesome!" You had met him once at a party or studio in l.a. and he had talked about snl being a dream appearance for him, as it was for many artists.

"Yeah yeah it is, thank you." He smirked and ducked his head bashfully. "Pleasant surprise seeing you. Maybe more than pleasant. What are you doing here, anyways?”

“Having lunch.”

“I thought you worked in L.A."

"I freelance, actually. So the world is my office." You used your free hand to gesture briefly around you, cheesy as it was, but hey he laughed. You lifted up the bag full of food your stomach was crying out for by this point, "You can join us, if you'd like?" Offering was the nice thing to do you supposed, and as far as you knew he was friends with your boyfriend.

"Us?” He asked.

“Yeah, me and Pete.”

“Oh.” He paused. “Nah, that's alright." He shook his head. "I didn't know you and Pete were..." He trailed off.

"Were what?" You asked, not defensively just confused.

"Never mind." He shook it off and sent you what you would describe as an attempted smoulder but he seemed to drop it pretty fast. "See you around?"

"Uh, yeah." You smiled and waved as he walked away.

You walked a few doors down and into Pete's office and saw your boyfriend in the bean bag nearest to the door. i.e., he probably heard everything that was just said. “Hey, I got lunch.” You announced and plopped down on the floor next to pete.

“Thank you, m’lady.” Pete smiled and accepted the greasy bag from you. As he started sorting through the take away containers, he started giggling to himself. “I heard you inviting Jack to eat with us.”

“Yeah, I got two burritos for me so I could've given him one. but he said no.” You shrugged indifferently and took the container Pete extended to you. “Maybe he already ate.”

“He probably just didn’t think I would be involved.”

“Huh?”

“Dude.” He raised his eyebrows at you in a ‘come on, you’ve got to be kidding me’ way. “He was totally flirting with you.”

“What?” You balked. “Oh my god, was he?”

“He totally was.” Pete nodded. “He laughed at your freelance joke, no one likes that joke but me.”

“Oooh, that’s exciting.” You giggled and Pete rolled his eyes with a smile. “But he knows me through you, how did he- wait he did say that weird thing. ‘didn’t know you and Pete were-”

“Still together.” Pete interrupted you. “He was gonna say that he didn’t know we were still together.”

“But why would I be in 30 Rock?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Where snl is? Like, has he not seen you this week?”

“No, he has. We’ve got a couple sketches together, actually.”

“A couple?” You grinned and made eye contact with Pete, who was also smiling. “How many?”

“Three, so far.”

“Three?!” You squealed. “Look at you, my boy taking over snl!”

“Stopp, you’re acting like my mom.” He smiled and tried to brush it off, but you knew he was just as excited as you. “Hey, maybe he thought you would cheat?”

“Who?”

“Jack.” The sudden change of topic made you furrow your eyebrows until they shot up in realization.

“Ohhh! Maybe he did!” You gasped. “Damn, am I that hot?”

“You definitely are.” Pete said without hesitation.

“Maybe he's got a cheating kink.”

“Oh yeah, that too.” Pete nodded. “But you’re also definitely that hot.”

“You've gotta say that cuz you’re my boyfriend.” You said, though you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sweetheart,” he said bluntly, staten island accent coming in strong, “I wouldn’t be your boyfriend if I didn’t think you were hot, so no I don't gotta say shit.”

“Well, you ain't too bad yourself, hot stuff. Tall sick lookin’ guys are just my type.” You leaned forward and puckered your lips for a kiss, which Pete delivered.

“Timothée Chalamet is coming next week I think, so be prepared to be swept off your feet.”

“Oh, shut up.”

after that first interaction, you start seeing jack a lot more throughout the week

you’re not at 30 rock all day of course

but for the little time you are there, you bump into jack more and more

he invited you to lunch alone twice, you refused both times

he kept trying to lead you through hallways with his hand on your back

all the hallways were empty

he seemed to behave himself around pete tho, which was a nice reprieve

until the day

saturday

you were in pete office for a bit before moving to the crowd, so he hadn’t managed to catch you before the show

but after

the wrap party

apparently all he needed was a couple drinks

You were sitting at the bar waiting for Pete when you saw Jack coming your way. You had noticed him drinking throughout the night, and no matter the guy’s tolerance he must have been drunk by now.

“y/n!” He called out loudly before sitting down next to you. “How! are you?”

“I'm doing great, how are you?” You smiled and leaned away from him a bit. The guy wasn’t a creep, if anything he was incredibly nice. But you knew his intentions. So you weren’t going to be rude. And it’s not like this was happening behind Pete’s back, so you weren’t worried. He was just a friend who wanted to sleep with you apparently. A friend you would probably never see again after tonight, possibly only in passing.

“Let me tell you that you look absolutely stunning tonight.” He slurred his words and draped himself against his section of the bar.

“You’re drunk.”

“Am not!”

“You very much are.” You smiled. “But you did great out there! One for the books! You should be proud.”

“I am proud!” He smiled a little smugly, before he turned serious. “But we gotta talk some business.”

“We do?” You raised your brows in amusement, seeing where this was headed. But you could see Pete wrapping up his conversation across the room and you knew you were safe.

“Yeah, let’s be real.” He lifted his head to face you head on, eye contact surprisingly on point considering how drunk he was. “I wanna fuck you.”

“Oh my god, Jack.” You gasped, in shock from how blunt this man was being.

“C’mon y/n, I doubt Pete would even notice.” He whined, kind of like a kid begging the babysitter for another cookie behind mom’s back. “Besides, someone told me y’all were in an open relationship.”

“Who told you that?”

“I don't know, somebody.” He brushed it off, knowing he couldn’t go along with that lie for too long. “What is it? Am I not attractive to you?”

“You’re okay.” You shrugged, finding this all incredibly hilarious.

“Then come back to my hotel with me.”

“Buddy, you’re starting to sound desperate.” You chuckled as you watched Pete come over to the bar.

Gently moving away to face Pete as he approached, you let out your first genuine smile of the night as you hadn’t been able to see Pete much today.

“Gorgeous as ever.” Pete smiled once he was in ear shot.

“You like?” You asked, striking your best pose while seated. 

“I love.”

“Wore this one for you.”

“How’d I get so lucky?” Pete said as he closed in on you, pressing his lips firmly against yours more heatedly than he usually would in public. 

“Down, boy.” You chuckled against his lips.

“Come on, just a little?” He pleaded, still not willing to pull away.

You rolled your eyes but nodded nonetheless.

He reached down and grabbed you by the waist with both hands and hoisted you up onto the bar. “Pete!” You squealed, grabbing his arms to steady yourself.

“I've got you.” He mumbled and leaned back into you, kissing you in a borderline obscene way. One of his hands stayed on your waist while the other went to cup your jaw, almost hiding you from Jack’s view.

“Great show tonight, Pete.” Jack said as he got out of his seat. “I'll see you around.”

“What?” Pete pulled away from you with a faux confused expression. “Oh uh yeah, see you around pal.” Pete turned back to you with the biggest grin.

“Get me off the bar Pete, before the bartender kicks me out.”

“Vicky’s my pal, they’re okay with it.” He nodded towards the bartender who sent the two of a wink.

“Fine.” You conceded, your concerned frown turning into a smirk. “I didn't know you were the jealous type, Petey.”

“He was begging you to go home with him, y/n.” He said matter-of-factly.

“And I wasn't going to.”

“I know that!” He scoffed. “But he’s gotta know that you’re spoken for.”

“Spoken for? Are we courting, good sir?” You chuckled.

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“I do, hun.” You nodded seriously and sobered up your demeanor a little. “He was undermining you and our relationship by constantly hitting on me no matter how clear I made it that I was with you. I'm just teasing. I don't even know how I would react if it was the other way round.”

“Would you throw hands for me?” Pete chuckled.

“I might.” You laughed. “You’re spoken for.”

“Damn right I am.”

[phoenixyfriend]

Vader Tries to Help

People encouraged me to share the dead dove concept! Yay! It’s a horrible concept with an undertone of comedic absurdity in the sense that you keep waiting to see what awful, incredibly stupid thing Vader is going to do next. Like it’s horrifying but it’s also very dumb.

By moving forward into the fic, you acknowledge that this is intended to be dark and liable to be upsetting, and that you are taking responsibility for your own engagement with the material.

This AU was helped along on discord by several parties but tbh I’m not sure how many of them actually want to be named.

Warnings: Mutual Extremely Dubious Consent (forced by a third party), drugging, irrational behavior (Vader), nonconsensual body modification, forced pregnancy, imprisonment, threatened torture of a child (not followed through on)

----------

Vader captures Obi-Wan a few years into the Empire. Because Vader is Anakin, but even worse on the emotional bullshit, he decides that he needs to keep Obi-Wan safe but harmless. Vader also got Luke in the whole 'capturing Kenobi' situation, so part of what Vader's thinking about all this is that Obi-Wan tried to protect The Baby and so Vader kind of owes him, obviously.

Palpatine lets him keep Obi-Wan "safe," because threatening Obi-Wan is a convenient way to make Vader shut up and do what he's told. Palpatine can kind of tell that threatening the toddler would make Vader lose his shit and attempt to kill good ol' Palps, so threatening the middle-aged depressed alcoholic being kept in Vader's guest room with Force-nullifying cuffs is pretty good. It's an additional layer of emotional torture on top of the electrocution of Vader himself!

Vader has Obi-Wan taking care of Luke, mostly, because Vader has Obligations and A Job, and Obi-Wan wouldn't hurt Luke, duh. He might try to escape with the kid, but he won't be successful, and Obi-Wan will definitely put Luke's safety first, so that probably won't happen.

This is all fairly normal for a variety of AUs, granted, and not very dark.

But see, Obi-Wan behaves. He's aware of how tenuous the situation is for him and his charge, so he plays nice. And Vader decides to reward that.

By giving him Cody.

There's an implied thought process there that Obi-Wan was fond of Cody, and Cody was fond back, and now that the Jedi aren't around, they can follow through instead of worrying about some silly Code. Vader's nullified the orders to kill all the Jedi, of course, possibly dosed their food with an aphrodisiac so they don't try to talk themselves out of What They Obviously Want.

Now, we’re going to make it a little darker, because why not make things worse by having Vader try to make things better?

Vader somehow twisted himself around to encouraging them to have a baby. This is accomplished through a combination of Sith Magic and nonconsensual surgery, and lots of questionable drugs.

Obi-Wan just wakes up in a hospital bed with a womb one morning, and is informed of the surgery then and there, after it’s already happened. The droid telling him about it is just like "in the Lord Vader's infinite kindness--" and Obi-Wan just.

Anakin.

What the fuck.

What in the actual fuck made you think this was a good idea.

(The Sith Chemicals, probably.)

I feel like Palpatine would maybe even order the pregnancy induction just to torture them by proxy because that's like eight levels of Fuck No and he barely has to do anything except tell Vader that he'd like to see what kind of children a Jedi Master like Obi-Wan has.

Luke needs friends, doesn't he?

Obi-Wan is having some very complicated emotions about all of this because Vader is, in his own absolutely insane way, trying to help.

Anakin wanted babies and Padme wanted babies so clearly, if Obi-Wan and Cody are in love, then they also want babies!

Cody and Obi-Wan very well might not be in love. Anakin definitely could have misinterpreted. It’s probably more angsty if they're just friends who ended up in this bullshit together.

(He's taking baby fever to new and somewhat horrifying heights, because... he would adore Obi's kids.)

(His family button is suprisingly large for a mass murderer.)

Vader Kindly Informs Bail That Obi-Wan Is Alive And Unharmed. Bail was a friend of Obi-Wan's, telling him this is only helpful and will keep Alderaan from getting more rebellious out of personal insult. Obviously.

Vader is almost offended when Bail implies he might hurt Obi-Wan. He kept his son safe, he owes him. Speaking of, don’t you have a child? How old is she, again? It would be Good for her to make friends, wouldn’t it? :)

Palpatine is just like... sitting back and eating evil popcorn as Vader runs around, ruining people's lives by trying to be less of The Worst than before.

Palps barely has to do anything, Anakin's fucking it up on his own!

Could have been just a sly "Kenobi is so attached to young Luke, but now that you've been reunited with your son, perhaps he'd be happier with a child of his own?" Come at it from both "make Obi-Wan happy" and "protect your relationship with Luke" angles.

Vader: I can't have babies anymore due to what you did to me on Mustafar. Obi-Wan: So you're punishing me by forcing me to have them instead? Vader: No! Children are a gift that you have been cruelly denied by the Order that held us in its chains! Obi-Wan: ...oh, right, you're insane. Forgot about that. Somehow.

Big dramatic speech about how the Jedi Order spent so long making them take lives, he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to create it! To put something good and bright into the world!

Poor Cody is like. "General, I am very fond of you but I'm having a million panic attacks at the same time because of the mind control, and also Vader is under the impression that we're in love and I need to be your stud? I wasn't aware you could have children--" "I can't. Or at least, I couldn't, but Anakin is... creative." "...what."

I don't want to actually objectify Cody in the narrative past the point that Obi-Wan himself is, because nnnnngh racism and clone stuff, so I'm going to say Cody was in love with Obi-Wan, and would have been okay with at least discussing the whole baby schtick if not for the absolutely horrible circumstances.

Like if the war had ended normally, and Obi-Wan had expressed a desire to retire, unlikely as that was, then Cody may have suggested a dinner, and they could have gotten married and then eventually adoption...

(Cody had a lot of fantasies he didn’t let himself think about too hard.)

But no. It's this... weird Vader-inspired bullshit.

I'm just so invested in Vader trying to help but making things legitimately a million times worse.

He wants to help :) Oh god, he wants to help.

Why aren't people more appreciative of how hard I'm helping them? - the Anakin Skywalker story

With less time to stew and also getting handed what he wants, Vader could absolutely flip on a dime the second he saw Luke being protected, and go from “I hate you” to remembering that Obi-Wan said he loved him, and now he must keep Obi-Wan safe out of debt and he just... he’s playing house. 

Vader throws Obi-Wan a baby shower after the pregnancy is confirmed. Bail is invited, because Obi-Wan doesn't have a lot of friends still alive. Vader decides Bail is top of the Obi-Wan’s Friends List.

This is the first time they've seen each other in two years. Obi-Wan is heavily pregnant despite Bail knowing full well he didn't have the plumbing for that before the Empire rose. Cody is there and emotionally exhausted but more lucid than most troopers. Luke is running up to Leia because New Friend!!!

....there may be MORE of the 212th and 501st at the baby shower, with “kill all Jedi” orders revoked, of course. But it will keep the children safe!! And Cody and Obi-Wan can see their surviving friends!!

Cody: I'd be much happier to see my surviving troopers if they didn't all still have chips in their heads. Obi-Wan: I feel much the same. Vader: [404 error]

Bail and his family might be there at blaster point, but aren't you happy to see them, Obi-Wan??

Obi-Wan's endless trauma is honestly somewhat curtailed by the incessant need to facepalm at Vader’s bullshit

Obi-Wan and Cody both outwardly have a very "there are much worse people I could be stuck with in this situation but obviously I wish I'd had a choice, no hard feelings" attitude at each other.

Internally, Cody is suffering because this is NOT how he wanted his crush to be realized, and Obi-Wan is just suffering, period.

Cody: How did he even choose which of us ends up pregnant? Obi-Wan: He thinks I need to be protected, and that he needs to keep me safe. Cody: ...he does realize that you're better at-- Obi-Wan: Cody, he's completely lost it. No! He doesn't realize!

I feel like over the course of the year or two this plot unravels towards Palpatine getting murder-deposed and Anakin getting locked down, part of the driving force to Vader not being Vader anymore is that Luke actually really loves Uncle Obi and always starts fussing and going "Ben's sad" whenever Vader dismisses what Obi-Wan wants in favor of what Vader thinks Obi-Wan wants, and Vader can't deny his child anything.

Luke cries because Palpatine Feels Wrong like, once or twice, and Anakin goes “oh, okay, assassination time.”

[scenefox2003]

No, Camila is not a good mother. And here’s why.

Yes, this sounds like a very harsh statement, but hear me out. Camila, on the surface, seems like a decent and loving mother, especially when compared to say, the Blights, who are much more obviously and stereotypically terrible. But from the very beginning she displays some VERY toxic and harmful behaviors towards her daughter Luz. Her sort of parenting, even though she has good intentions, can do some horrifying and long lasting damage to the mental health and self esteem of a child. How do I know? My mother was exactly like Camila. And like Luz, I still loved her. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t do some serious harm. And those same things are happening to Luz right now.

First up, let’s state the obvious. Luz is neurodivergent. This isn’t even just coding, either. Dana Terrace has outright stated this is her intention. And like many neurodivergent kids and teens, she often gets in trouble in school without realizing why. The things she does are still bad, of course, and she still needs to face the consequences of her actions and learn why they’re not okay. The first two things she does (going a bit too far in the school play and doing that freaky eye thing at cheer tryouts) aren’t even that bad, but her bringing spiders, snakes, and fireworks to school are obviously huge issues. Those last three are obviously cartoonishly crazy acts that have been played up by the writers for humor and to get the idea across, but even if we take this all at face value Camila’s handling of the situation is STILL HORRIBLE. Notice what she criticizes here. Not the fact that her daughter brought dangerous animals and explosives to school, but her love of fantasy. Yes, they’re related, but Luz’s love of fantasy can still exist without her breaking school rules. Not only that, but taking Luz’s neurodivergency into account here, The Good Witch Azura and other fantasy tales are clearly a special interest or hyperfixation of hers. Her love of Azura goes much farther than that of a normal neurotypical fangirl, she uses this character to help navigate through her life. She chooses to stay on the boiling aisles because Eda and King remind her of characters from the book. She chooses to take the risk and try to befriend her rival, Amity, because that’s what Azura did. Even in season two, when she’s talking about her future, she states Eda and Azura as her role models. Not to infantilize Luz (trust me, that’s the last thing I want to do) but this level of connection to a fictional character is unusual for a fourteen year old who just really likes something. Luz clearly uses this character as guidance in a world she doesn’t understand (which funny enough, is both the boiling aisles and earth) and what does Camila do?

She forces her to LITERALLY throw it away. Right before she has to go to a scary and uncomfortable place for THREE MONTHS, that SHE FORCED HER TO GO TO. That’s the time when Luz would need that special interest the most. It isn’t just a book she loves. It’s a coping mechanism, a genuinely harmless and positive part of her life, that she is shamed for. Being shamed for an interest or hyperfixation is such a terrible feeling I can’t even begin to describe it. But if you’re neurodivergent, you know what I’m talking about. What makes it even worse is that Luz literally cannot control what she loves. She can’t just find a new hobby, not that she should even have to, because when you have a special interest or hyperfixation, that thing becomes such a huge part of your life. And most of the time, it’s such an amazing and wonderful thing. And for Luz, it clearly is. Azura LITERALLY LED HER TO FORMING THE STRONGEST RELATIONSHIPS IN HER LIFE, with Eda, King, and Amity. That’s huge, considering Luz clearly has a lot of trouble forming friendships back in the human world. Luz’s love of fantasy is not a problem. Her “weirdness” is not a problem. But that’s what Camila sends her to camp for. To change her interests, her personality, not her actions. That, and for something even worse.

This line hurts my soul. I don’t even have to explain why this is an awful thing for a mother to say to her daughter, it speaks for itself. But I’m gonna explain anyway. Luz doesn’t have any friends. But that’s clearly not her fault. Just look at what happens when she goes to the boiling aisles and FINALLY meets like minded people. She makes tons of friends without changing at all, because Luz is a genuinely good person with a great personality. She’s kind, excitable, and always eager to help others. This is INCLUDED with her “weirdness”, and often directly related to it. Luz is not the only weird person that exists, even in the human world. I had pretty much no close friends as a kid, then I switched to a school full of open minded (and many queer and neurodivergent) people, and now I have TONS of friends who are just like me, who like the same things, that I didn’t have to change myself at all for. This is how real healthy friendships work. And the sad thing is, Luz wouldn’t even HAVE to go to the boiling aisles for this to happen! If Camila really wanted Luz to make friends, all she would have to do is send her to some sort of fantasy or roleplaying camp full of people like her who share her interests. But instead of blaming the judgy bullies for why Luz doesn’t have any friends, she blames Luz for just. Being herself and liking some unconventional stuff. This is so, SO disgusting and harmful. It can lead to so many problems, destroy yourself esteem, and ironically enough it makes it HARDER TO MAKE FRIENDS. Forcing yourself to be someone else to make someone you’re not really compatible with like you just doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried. This is LITERALLY HAPPENING TO LUZ RIGHT NOW. IN THE MOST RECENT EPISODE SHE NEARLY RUINED HER CHANCE WITH AMITY BECAUSE PEOPLE HAD MADE HER FEEL WEIRD ABOUT HER INTERESTS AND PERSONALITY IN THE PAST. That’s why I’m making this post, even though I’ve thought this for a long time. The damage the human world has done to Luz is starting to show. Even after all these months of being loved for being herself and proudly being an advocate for being weird, that instinct is still there. And it lasts. For years. I’m eighteen years old, I’ve been in a supportive environment for six years now, and my parents have been fully supportive of me and my interests and quirks for two. But that instinct doesn’t go away. The deep rooted shame whenever you do something harmless that’s outside the norm, something you were directly told not to by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally doesn’t go away. And Camila, the only person Luz truly cares about, perpetuated that. And that’s truly awful. I get it. Parents aren’t always perfect. But this is beyond imperfect. It reminds me of a line from Gwendolyn in Keeping Up A-fear-ances. “Your curse is a part of you, and I love every part of you.” Camila clearly loves Luz, but she doesn’t love every part of Luz. And in order to truly love someone, you must fully love them, quirks and all. I hope we get to see Camila learn this before the show ends, but most of all I hope that the show openly states that her parenting is awful. It could save so many kids from so many years of pain and an inferiority complex.

[astaroth1357]

MC's Family Finds Out that They're Actually Dating a Demon the Hard Way

Demon boys more or less going demon on the MC's family. Bound to happen really. This one ain’t so cuddly guys. Special thanks to @anonimo324 for the inspiration for this one. Literally never would have occurred to me if they hadn't have said something and I love the excuse to revisit this idea. 😄 

Check out the Masterlist for more!

IMPORTANT: Continuation to "Demon Brothers Meeting the MC's Family" The general setup to this post is in that one.

Lucifer

You know what they say about things that seem too good to be true, right?

Oh, their MC's new boyfriend was smooth, put together, intelligent…

And prideful. So very prideful.

It radiated off of him like no tomorrow, there was just a subtle but constant air of superiority to everything the man did or said. Some may find it attractive but others? It can drive other people right up the wall.

And that's exactly what it did to some members of the MC's family. Even if he seemed educated and well-spoken what made him think he was so special? What made him think he was just so much better than the rest of the world??

They couldn't have known just how angry he'd get when they confronted him about it.

They couldn't have known that they weren’t questioning an arrogant man, but a prideful demon who'd take offense at the mere thought of being anywhere near their level.

It was only when he stood towering before them, demonic wings and horns in full view, did they learn the folly of their actions.

In their hospital beds, bones broken and bodies bruised, they'd rant and rave to anyone who'd listen "He's a demon! A demon! My child/sibling/etc. is dating a demon!!"

The MC disappeared with Lucifer that night, however. Their family writes them off as either dead or kidnapped for torture purposes.

In truth, they returned to the Devildom and Lucifer will never hear the end of how he lost control and attempted to skewer the MC's family members. Surely such a mighty demon should have better control than that... 🙄😑

Mammon

His dumbass let it slip a couple months in, but not without good reason for once.

He had actually been doing pretty well with their family. Sure he wasn't perfect,  but he made it clear enough he was looking out for MC and honestly the rest of them as well.

It was small things. Checking up on them sometimes. Making sure the little ones, if any, were safe. Not stealing anything that isn't nailed down (though that's something the MC notices more than their family of course).

It takes a lot. A lot. A LOT to make Mammon break out his demon form. He's better at keeping it in than Lucifer. But showing him something that’s threatening MC is actually a pretty quick why to do it.

The family was out together on a shopping trip, a giddy Mammon included because he knew that meant he could beg ask the MC to buy him stuff.

They really should have checked before they started strolling down the damn crosswalk, but they didn't, and an impatient taxi went hurtling towards them.

Before they could even open their eyes Mammon was already lecturing them about their stupidity, holding them on the other side of the street. Shirtless because his demon form was out and the dumbass forgot to hide it again. Even though they were in public.

He was quick to change back once he noticed, but the damage was done. You can say their family was a little surprised that he straight up grew wings and horns. Only one of them fainted anyway.

To avoid causing further panic, Mammon just legs it away with MC still in his arms, shouting back an quick expletive laced "apology" over his shoulder.

MC smooths things over with their family later by phone. No one can quite wrap their head around the fact that Mammon is a demon, despite what they had seen, but it helps that he did seem to want to protect them.

The MC is not allowed to come home if they want to bring their demon boyfriend too, but their family isn't as worried about them as they could be. Mammon's looking out for them after all.

Leviathan 

Okay. They always knew the boy was a little weird but hot damn did that opinion suddenly go from 0 to 60 real quick.

Levi was distant and off-putting at first but in time it became pretty clear that he was just pretty awkward. He wasn't the best with people, but he seemed harmless enough.

It was the MC's idea to bring him along on a family weekend trip to the beach. They honestly couldn't understand why at first. He never seemed to like being with them...

It DID start to click for them a little more when they saw the guy in the water though. They can say it's probably the first time they'd ever seen him so comfortable in his own skin. He even started smiling!

Things were actually going smoothly for them all for once… until other people started taking notice of MC in their swimsuit and one bold gentleman decided to make a cheeky comment on it.

Now, Levi had always stuck close to MC when he was around them. He was practically a second shadow. But it seemed like the second he took notice of those glances he got extra clingy and after that comment.. he started to have a meltdown.

The once bold gentleman was kindly picked up by the neck and hurdled into the ocean like a Frisbee. It would have been hilarious if it weren't so horrifying.

It was about the time that the lad grew a snake tail that the MC's family peaced out off the beach, screaming in terror. MC and Levi left too, mostly because Levi was hellbent on dragging them back to the Devildom in a jealous rage. Obviously THIS is the kind of shit that happens when he leaves his room!

No plans are ever made to go visit again, which he's very happy about. He hated being out in "the real world" anyway.

Satan

Nice as he could be, that temper was bound to catch up to him eventually…

There would be small incidents. A kid cuts him off on the sidewalk and he'd get a little loud and snippy about it. A dog won't stop barking at him and he'd just glare and send it away with a terrified whimper. These things were… worrisome. But not all that demonic.

Then other red flags started showing up. A person on the street would be rude to him and he'd look honestly ready to kill. It'd take MC physically holding him back to keep him in place. Their family was worried about them… Had they'd fallen victim to a possible abuser...?

MC had never listened to what their family had to say, always claiming that they were perfectly safe with their boyfriend. That he had to listen to what they said. But no one really bought that…

Well if there is one way to piss Satan off (and there are many) probably the fastest and most lethal is to doubt his intelligence. Especially if you're only one of those everyday, average humans...

That poor employee at the bookstore had no idea what kind of mistake they made when he told Satan he wasn't looking for Camus but Kafka then refused to double check. Satan doesn't make mistakes about his authors. Ever.

What was originally just supposed to be a relaxing afternoon with the family turned into a night in the station as everyone was questioned about the employee whose head got flattened against the store counter-top. The police weren't entirely convinced a demon did it, but they would look for a blonde.

Said demon had chucked MC over his shoulder and took off before the police arrived to investigate, which as far as they're concerned also kind of amounts to kidnapping.

Satan's now a fugitive in the MC's hometown and on the FBI's Most Wanted List so safe to say that they won't really be visiting anymore.

Asmodeus 

Not as surprised as you might think. There were some signs…

Asmo had a bewitching quality to him that went well into the unnatural. He could soothe and win over right about any person or animal to an… uncomfortable degree.

He also kept bringing up and babbling about nonsense products all the time. He always seemed to have the perfect hair treatment or know the best drinks but no one else had ever heard of any of it. What the heck even is Demonus…?

But the real kicker was, well, just how lustful he was. There were horn dogs and then there was this guy. It felt like he could flirt with a potted plant sometimes.

Though he was nice, no one in their house thought Asmo was faithful to MC. And even if he were, his blatant willingness to tease right about anyone he came across was showing them disrespect. 

Unfortunately, they had made the poor decision to confront him about it and claim that he didn't actually "love" MC….

There are few things more brutal and less forgiving than an enraged Asmo. Here he was with these humans, people he had been nothing but nice to, and they were doubting his love for MC?? What gave them the right!?

He had his demon form out and his whip already raised to teach these slanderers a lesson! Even if he had grown to like some of them, his anger took over his reason and he had to vent his displeasure NOW.

The MC stepped in before he could crack the whip and made him stop. Their family was terrified but he charmed them into calming down while he and MC talked things out.

They (by which I mean mostly a fuming Asmo) decided that since their family couldn't understand their love for each other, they didn't deserve to see it.

They leave the house calmly and don't come back. MC still sometimes calls their family, but they refuse to leave the Devildom or their beautiful fallen angel, no matter how much their family pleads for them to come home.

Beelzebub 

On the one hand, absolutely no one wants to believe it… But it also does make a lot of things make more sense in hindsight.

Like, he was built like a linebacker so it was sort of understandable just how many calories his body seemed to need but there was a limit.

He. Just. Kept. Eating. Never-endingly hungry. Always poking through the kitchen or ordering a mountain of pizzas. More impressively, he never made any leftovers… Ever.

He was such a sweetheart though… They tried to turn a blind eye for a while. Make excuses and rationalize the impossible… but it couldn't last.

It was only supposed to be one nice dinner out. MC had gone over the rules with him ten times before going, "This is a human restaurant and I'm paying, so you HAVE to stop at thirds. Okay? Okay??"

He tried. But the food was sooo good, he just couldn’t stop! And, like clockwork, here comes the manager to cut him off and there goes an angry Beel. Full demon form, tossing tables and wrecking chairs to everyone's absolute horror.

MC had to use the pact to stop him. They could only leave their family with a quick goodbye before they had to book it from the cops on Beel's back as he flew away.

To say there was a mini-meltdown among the members left behind would be an understatement. What the HELL just happened to the sweet young man they had come to know???

The damages were paid for by Lucifer a "mysterious donor" and everything was explained to their family by MC over video call from the Devildom with a very guilty and apologetic Beel in attendance.

When it was clear that the MC wasn't going to leave him or literal Hell despite their protests, they either had to accept it or never hear from them again. Members made their choices, but it's pretty hard to stay mad at someone they've grown to like so much...

He's no longer allowed to go visit them in the human world (which is probably for the best) but shows up on MC's video calls regularly. They still kind of think of him as family even if he could eat them all. He's just such a nice lad, you know?

Belphegor

…. You know, there was always something kind of off about that kid.

It was always hard to place what made Belphie so… different. It could have been the way he never seemed to take any of them seriously or the kind of amazing lack of energy he brought to things.

It also could have been the fact he kept making comments about being a demon, going to "hell," knowing Satan personally, etc. but always played them off as jokes.

Honestly when it finally came out that yes, he was actually a demon, it was almost a relief because it made waaaay more sense than not.

Still fucking terrifying, though.

One of their family members had made the mistake of waking him up from a nap when he and MC were there for a visit

Now. It's not easy to wake Belphie even on a good day but an airhorn to the face is probably not the way to go about it.

When he sent said family member soaring out the window, one-handed, with his horns and tail on full display and a familiar look of murder in his eyes, MC knew the charade was pretty much up...

True to his word, Belphie doesn't let some humans keep MC away from him. He scooped them up and hopped out the broken window before they could really even protest or explain anything.

Which, I mean, how does one even go about smoothing over the fact your demon boyfriend just yeeted one of your family members out of the house?

Their family is kind of able to put two and two together themselves regardless. Which is good because neither Belphie or MC are probably coming back any time soon. If ever. Hope they enjoy postcards...

[berrydoodleoo]

If Ignis were himself, he would no doubt have counseled them against the trip, or at least proposed some kind of clever work around. Gladio would have loomed and grumbled, and then would have been the first to bow at Luna’s bedside with some courtly, if gruff, remark. But of course, Ignis wasn’t himself, and really, neither was Gladio. And Noctis knew it was all his fault.

But Prompto was insistent, and he was trying so hard to be himself and keep things light. He'd taken over Iggy’s duties of cooking and planning their trip, and still found time and energy to help Ignis activate the handicap settings on his phone while keeping up a steady stream of light-hearted chatter. Not to mention visiting Luna and helping out with the rescue and relief efforts. It was like watching someone do a ballet in a field full of giant boulders – three of which were named Ignis, Noctis, and Gladiolus – he just kept moving, kept dancing, and you almost couldn’t see the toll it was taking on him.

Almost.

So Prompto brought up visiting Luna’s hospital room again, as-if casually, mentioning that he’d had word from Weskham as to where she was currently hidden, and that he was sure he could get them in without being noticed by Imperial spies. And besides, Pryna had licked his hand when he’d visited last, which probably meant that Luna was going to wake up soon, any day now, and wouldn’t it be something if she woke up while Noct was there? A kiss from Prince Charming, eh?

Gladio had snorted, an ugly, mocking sound, and Prompto had stuttered to a halt, with an expression like his heart was breaking. Ignis had averted his face, just slightly. Shutting the whole world out. And Noctis had dredged up a voice (his own? someone else’s?) from the vise clamping his chest and said sure, Prom, let’s go.

And so they did.

Traveling the streets of devastated Altissia in Lucian royal black was probably unwise, but Prompto seemed to exude a notice-me-not aura that, in conjunction with the chaos still gripping the city, was enough to let them travel unmolested. They kept to the areas packed with refugees where possible, where everyone had their eyes glued to the screens announcing ferries and how long the current wait lists were (some were hours, most were days) instead of at each other. It did nothing for his nerves, which were a constant jangle, but at least no one stopped them. Or worse, shouted, hey, Prince Noctis!

The hospital was mostly intact, at least from the outside. Upon entering, it became clear that it had suffered a beating, either from Leviathan or the Imperial forces. The first level was still flooded, the polished marble turned treacherous by a thin layer of mud. The smell of mold competed with the smell of hospital bleach, and Noctis almost gagged.

There was a crowd here, too, too many people to fit in the emergency room reserved for the most critical cases. Noctis stood aside as Prompto shuffled about, standing on his toes, trying to find the best way forward without attracting too much attention.

A little kid with a bloody rag tied to his forehead stared at them. Noctis met his eyes and then regretted it, trying to look away and act casual. When he glanced up, the kid had wandered from his sleeping mother to stand beside them, still staring silently.

Prompto almost collided with the kid, and then did a double-take. “Hey!” he exclaimed quietly, and he sounded happy. “Stanford, my man!” He crouched, careful to keep the edges of his jacket out of the water. “How you doin’? Still waiting for a doctor, huh?”

Stanford – he must have been a few years younger than Talcott, too young to be so injured and haunted-looking – nodded, popping his filthy thumb into his mouth.

“Can I take a look, dude?” Prompto asked, gentle, touching the bandage on the child’s head. He nodded again.

It made Noctis’ eyes water, seeing how gentle Prompto was with the kid. He unwound the bandage and checked the wound beneath – the sight made Noctis wince – and produced some wrapped bandages and antiseptic wipes seemingly from his pocket (Noct felt the tug that meant they’d really come from the Armiger). He talked the whole time – man, those are cool shoes, I love chocobos, and how old are you again, dude? like, sixteen, right? or seventeen, you’re in high school, right – trying to coax some words out of him. Stanford was clearly listening, half-smiling at Prompto’s jokes, but was otherwise unresponsive.

He submitted to the cleaning with only a little tearyness. When he finally spoke, it wasn’t about anything Prompto had said.

“Do you have more magic potions?” he asked hopefully.

Prompto winced, shooting a quick glance at Noct. They’d agreed early on not to share their potions with people – it was too easy to trace them back to Noct, and Ignis was always concerned they would run out at the worst possible moment (which, to be fair, they had done so more than once).

“Not at the moment, little dude,” Prompto was jittering, hurrying to finish wrapping the bandage, “but uh, maybe later, I can, uh–”

Noctis reached into his back pocket and summoned a potion from the Armiger, the same trick Prompto had just pulled. It was weak – he just hadn’t been able to summon the magic for a proper Elixir once it was clear they wouldn’t help Ignis’ eyes – but it would help ward off infection and help with pain management. For a little while.

Stanford’s eyes lit up, and he started to snatch the glowing bottle from Noct’s hand. But then he hesitated. “For – for me?” he asked, staring up at Noct with the hugest eyes he’d ever seen.

“Yeah.” Noct tried to smile for him, extending the potion a bit further. “Of course.”

Stanford accepted the bottle, hugging it to his chest as if were a precious treasure. Now his eyes glowed with happiness, watching Noct, and he stood obediently still as Prompto finished retying the headband that kept his bandage in place. “Can I share it with my mom?” he eventually asked.

Noctis glanced at the sleeping woman, and wondered what was wrong with her. Was she injured, too, or just exhausted? “Yeah,” he said again. “Just don’t tell anyone else, okay?”

Would the woman even accept it, if her son told her he had a magic potion from a strange man? Well, maybe she would assume it came from a doctor, or that it was still the harmless bottle of (Noctis checked) apple juice it had started out as. Albeit glowing apple juice. Well, marketing, right? Maybe it wouldn’t seem too weird.

It was Stanford’s to do with as he chose. If he wanted to give it to his mom, or a total stranger, or pour it down the drain, Noctis wouldn’t stop him. He just didn’t have the energy.

Stanford’s eyes went even wider, but he nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said.

Brave little man. Noctis tried to smile for him again, moved his lips in the familiar gesture, and the kid tried to smile in return. If his own forced smile made him look as sad as Stanford’s did, Noctis mused, then it was no wonder people kept flinching away at the sight.

~

They found an un-monitored stairwell, the door blocked off with yellow tape. It quickly became clear as to why it was locked down – some tree branches and half a gondola were poking through the battered walls, tossed through marble and concrete by Leviathan’s rage. Worse, there were puddles of slimy water everywhere.

Prompto kept ahold on Noct’s arm – Noct realized he’d been doing that since they left their borrowed refuge in the Secretary’s home, as if Noct would drift away without the anchor – as they made their way up the stairs. “I don’t think he’s gonna keep it a secret, man.”

Noct had to blink himself back to the present. “Huh?”

“Stanford. With the potion.”

Noct shrugged. “Didn’t get the impression he was talking much.”

“Noct…”

“It’s not a big deal. We’ll be out of here soon.”

Prompto seemed deflated, guiding him up the stairs. “Yeah.”

Noct let himself be led. What did Prompto expect him to say? Maybe he wanted Noct to go back down the stairs and offer to help everyone else in the room. Give out their store of potions, grab some bottles of water and start enchanting those, too. Act like a king for once, instead of piece of luggage that had to be carted to and fro by people smarter and more capable.

“I just feel bad, you know?” Prompto said, his voice echoing a bit in the humid, smelly space. “I’ve never done anything to deserve you guys – traveling with you guys, using your magic, seeing the gods, I – I don’t deserve any of this – this magic, this specialness, I’m just –” He swallowed. “And then there’s kids like Stanford, and man, I just don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know anything.”

Noctis let his arm slide through Prompto’s grip until he could squeeze his hand. They paused, side-by-side as they sidled around a piece of crushed stairwell, and Prompto squeezed back. Hard.

~

Noct started feeling floaty once they left the stairwell. Parts of this floor were still in use, despite the damage and the flickering lights. But Prompto knew the way, avoiding the lighted areas, and led him to a dark hallway behind more yellow tape.

Noct felt his steps slowing. He and Prompto’s arms, connected by their held hands, stretched like a rope between two ships tugged in opposite directions. They reached a door, Prompto produced a key, and Noct thought he might faint. He pulled free of Prompto’s grip to lean against the wall, heart laboring, spots filling his vision.

Luna. Luna was on the other side. Once he saw her, it would all be real.

He needed more time. Time to get ready, time to be better, time to be the King she believed he was. All he could picture was her face – somewhere between the child he’d known and the woman he’d seen in official broadcasts – crumpling in disappointment, and the fact that it hadn’t happened (yet) did nothing to lessen the pain. Gods. Gods. He couldn’t do this. More time—

Prompto’s face appeared, looking worried and frantic, and then Noct was being hauled into the unlocked room despite his sluggish limbs. He heard the door shut behind them, closing them in safely. And when he opened his eyes, he was in Luna’s hospital room.

“Dude,” Prompto was whispering. “Breathe.”

Noct nodded.

“Breathe. Breathe.” Prompto pressed a quick, awkward kiss to his forehead. “Breathe. Just breathe.”

Noct breathed, or tried to breathe. When he opened his eyes, he could see Luna in her hospital bed, traced in appallingly bright sunshine, and he swayed again. Prompto caught him, held him up, held him in place. Just held him, really.

For a minute, he had the inane thought that Clarus and Gladio were on the other side of the door, and if they came in they would see Noct snuggling with Prompto and the game would be up. And then he remembered that Clarus was dead, that Gladio wanted nothing to do with him, and that this wasn’t his father’s hospital room, after the stroke that nearly claimed his life a year ago. Something about the smell, the beeping, the seafoam green of the curtains and blankets, must have taken him back. And his dad was dead, anyway, dead like Clarus, dead like Ignis almost was, dead like Luna almost is….

“I can’t do this,” Noct whispered, when Prompto backed off to give him a little space.

Ignis would have said, yes you can, Highness. Majesty. Gladio would have said, don’t give me that crap, you’re gonna do your duty if it kills us both. Luna would have said, none of us know what we can do until we do it, or fail trying. But I do believe in you, Noctis.

Prompto just whispered, “I know, man.” Noctis met his eyes, briefly, and the love and sorrow there stole his breath. “That’s why I’m here to help.”

Noctis glanced back, thinking of escape, about making excuses and stepping out, running away, back to the Secretary’s house and the room where Ignis and Gladio tip-toed around each other and the smothering silence. And then he swallowed, and squeezed Prompto’s hand, and nodded, meeting his eyes one more time.

“Let’s go,” he whispered, and Prompto led him forward, into the light.