#the work that went into this scene is astounding

[swan2swan]

Cool fact about this scene: they built three separate plane sets. One was for the characters in the three, one was for the Spinosaurus to crush, and one had a mechanism to bring the ceiling down on the actors' heads.

What you're seeing here are the latter two sets spliced together through camerawork: the animatronic Spinosaurus foot presses down on the exterior of Plane Set B, the camera pans down and cuts...then you put in footage of the interior of Plane Set C, where the actors scream as the ceiling of chairs whirs downward.

It's brilliant moviemaking.

[thatbuddie]

ok so bear with me here, this theory is based on nothing but vibes and dreams and delusions.

buddie is going canon in 8x12 which is also episode 118 of 911.

i still find it so interesting that they decided to make bi buck canon (i will never ever ever ever get over bi buck canon, btw) in episode 100 of the show. i know that nowadays episodes 100 of shows are not as big as they used to be (mainly because shows rarely make it to them) but they still mean something big. something big enough to warrant press and cakes and such. and what did 911 do with their 100th episode? they made it about bi buck. in a way that forever links the essence of 911 and bi buck forever. and i find that so incredibly beautiful.

it would be logical to argue that episode 8x12, which is episode number 118 of the show that revolves around station 118, has the potential to be something different and special too. i think that the best way to honor this would be by making it a mostly lighthearted team-focused episode. give me bottle episode at the station where the team receives 0 calls all shift, give me an episode from the 3rd person pov of the people that they help on calls and how they view the 118, give me a the 118 gets locked in a room silly episode, just give me something fun and heartfelt that shows the 118 as the family that they are!!! and then.... and then....

give me the first real confirmation of buddie going canon at the end of the episode. and i mean the very last scene of it.

they already connected a big episode (7x04 aka episode 100) with a very big moment that many many fans had been waiting for (bi buck). why not connect the other very core episode of the show (their 118 episode which is nothing really and yet so special of them) with the other big anticipated thing that fans have been dying for for years.

and like y'all, bi buck is important in and of itself and i hope we all know that. but bi buck is so intrinsically connected to buddie too. and i mean both in fandom and in the canon as well. like we know what subset of fandom has been reading buck as bisexual for seasons now and it's not most of the casual viewers (though i hope some did). it was the buddie fandom. and in 7x04 the way that buck's realization arc was so incredibly connected with eddie and their friendship is astounding. like i still can't believe that it went that way. and that is a deliberate choice. there were a thousand ways in which they could have done it and then said "we are putting eddie diaz, evan buckley's best friend and the guy that everyone who wants bi buck ships him with, in the center of it." so it would be very on brand for producers and writers to give us the actual buddie of it all in episode 118 which could be an episode to touch the core of the show -found family, the firefighting aspect, the hope- which at this point includes buddie as well.

now we know NOTHING about s8 right now so this is where more vibes just get added but it would also make sense that it happens in 8x12 because that it the second half of the season. i feel like s8 is gonna start a little "dark" (and i just mean sad) for the 118. gerard is gonna be ruining their lives and making everything wrong. and eddie is gonna be doing badly, y'all. of course he is. so we can use the first 8 episodes to "solve" these things. eddie can finally be in therapy again for more than his ptsd. the 118 can be fighting to get bobby buck. the bucktommy relationship can be worked towards a break up that moves buck to the next stage of where he's going. and then s8b starts. and we have a "lighter" feeling. hopefully chris is back. bobby is back. buck and eddie are single and we can see that there is something there but for now it has been things that still maybe not everyone can catch on to. so then 8x12 happens and BOOM. buck and/or eddie realize/aknowledge/voice the truth of it all: it's always been about buddie. and then we have 6 more episodes in the season to explore that!!! which is a pretty fair number, i think.

so yeah, that is my-based-on-nothing-but-i'm-now-convinced-is-happening theory for a buddie canon confirmation in 8x12 aka episode 118 of 911.

[stvrpst]

It’s still crazy to me how some people really think Buck actually wanted Tommy’s attention and not Eddies when Buck literally came out of his mouth and admitted to trying to gets Eddies attention before he even lied straight through his teeth claiming he was trying to get Tommy’s.

And then people are like “He wanted both” ??? Look, I’m not gonna even sit here and say that Buck didn’t at least have an ounce of interest in Tommy, because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have showed up to see Tommy in the first place.

However, it's pretty clear that Buck only ever tried to get close to Eddie during that entire episode. There was not a single instance where Buck attempted to get Tommy's attention. Had he genuinely desired both, he would have exerted himself to get them both, but he did not.

That's the the exact reason why tommy goes "my attention?" At the end of 7x04 because Buck literally was only pursuing for Eddies and even Tommy clocked that himself.

Like, the whole reason why the situation bothered Buck so much was because Tommy had gotten so close and left an impression in Eddie and Christopher’s lives in such a short span of time. So Buck felt fucking threatened because he has never seen anyone be as close to Eddie and Chris besides himself.

And that’s the exact reason why in 7x04, when he goes to vent to Maddie, he is seen grilling the fuck out of Tommy instead of showing genuine interest. If you have a genuine crush, I guarantee you, you don’t go and talk shit about them to your sister💀

“Eddie just met the guy like, two weeks ago, and Christopher thinks he’s so cool”

“try telling Christopher that, he likes Tommy because he does the controls. I was like Chris, it’s not a video game”

“Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think you lie to a child just to ingratiate yourself.”

“Well Chris wouldn’t stop talking about him.”

It amazes me how many people watch that scene and still think Buck really likes Tommy.

I also wanted to bring up the prospect that Tommy may not genuinely be interested in Buck, as evidenced by his lack of interest in him while they are together. If he was, he would have taken action from the start. Tommy did not demonstrate any desire in liking buck or initiating a relationship with Buck at any point in the show but towards the end after Buck claimed he wanted Tommys attention. Which by the way, is a weird way to go about things.

If he wanted to, he would have. Tommy is a pretty confident guy, as the show has already shown, so asking out buck is light work for him, yet he made no attempt to ask Buck out. And take note of the fact that until Buck claimed he was attempting to catch Tommy's attention, Tommy never expressed a liking for Buck or made any moves.

Another thing I've noticed is that Tommy has stated his jealousy and envy of the 118s dynamics at least 2-3 times. If anything, Tommy started something with Buck because being with someone from the 118 would allow him to experience some of the family dynamics there, but I digress.

Returning to my original argument, this conversation between Buck and Maddie reveals in astounding detail why Maddie was taken aback when she learned that Buck was going on a date with Tommy. Maddie surmised that Buck was envious of Tommy rather than the other way around because his entire earlier outburst simply demonstrated his desire for Eddie. That's the reason she goes

"Eddies friend?!" Like, oh. You went on a date with Eddies friend and not Eddie?? you went on a date with the person you were so obviously bothered and threatened by because they were getting too close with Eddie?

Which gets me to my second point: when Maddie says, "Okay. I don't think you are a fraud. I just think you aren't sure about your own feelings yet, and if there's anything you need to tell Eddie, you will, in your own time." I reckon many people failed to take a step back and ask themselves why Buck felt like a fraud. Because, of course, we'd all think of the obvious reasons like 'oh, it's because he acted like an idiot' or 'oh, it's because he lied,' but this is Eddie we're talking about.

Because, in all honesty, Buck is aware that Eddie has no issues with queer people in general. He even had a brief friendship with Josh, who is gay, and is close to Hen, a lesbian. Though a little hesitant, Buck also had no trouble confessing that he liked a guy with Maddie; in fact, after making out with Tommy, he even strolled his ass into a room full of people with soot on his face.

In reality, Buck wasn't really "afraid" of people finding out. But with Eddie, things were very different. When it came to Eddie, he felt like a phony. Tommy was hardly acknowledged at all, and Tommy's feelings over his impetuous response were not even taken into account. Only Eddies.

People will say we "missed the plot" or that we’re "delusional", like no girl, this is the plot😭 The plot is that Buck clearly has feelings for Eddie, and the writers demonstrated this in 7x04 by using Buck's jealousy to highlight it, but buck being buck, he ends up mistaking these feelings for someone else.

They lead us on purpose, but not without providing a few hints for those with media literacy. There's a reason Buck and Tommy's entire buildup revolved around Eddie.

The plot isn't 'well, Buck was envious throughout 7x04, but we didn't know who he was jealous of; turns out he liked Tommy! That's a plot twist! No, Buck was jealous in 7x04, and we know exactly who he was jealous of, but the show purposefully led us astray and had him end up with the opposite person because they're doing the 'I'm in love with my best friend but don't know it' trope for Buck and possibly 'unrequited love but not actually unrequited love' for Eddie in season 8.

[slayfics]

One of your Girls pt. 1

Hawks invites you over late at night.

650 words

You pulled up to the gated house, heart pounding, and fingers tightening around your steering wheel.

A huge mansion came into view and the fact that this wasn’t a dream finally set in.

Fuck, be cool, you cursed at yourself silently. But the shock you felt when first seeing the message from Hawks’s official hero account set in once again.

[Hawks]: Ok, so what if I am a little mad?

He was referring to your comment earlier in the day. You and Hawks happened to be the two heroes closest to a distress call. The villain was easy, and a quick capture with you both on the scene.

With Hawks on site, it was no question at all that a large number of paparazzi showed up. That wasn’t shocking at all, a usual occurrence for the popular hero.

The astounding part to Hawks was, they weren’t all focused on him. A larger part of the paparazzi stopped to take photos and ask for statements from you.

You were a recent graduate from U.A., known to be overly provocative with your hero work. You had risen in the popularity charts fast, and Hawks was seeing it with his own eyes for the first time.

Paparazzi swarmed you and you fed them well with sensual poses and suggestive remarks. Hawks watched, arms crossed, nose scrunched. The cameras flashed as reporters and fans continued to fawn over you.

Deciding that was enough you bid your adieu and strutted away. Taking notice of the sour look on Hawks's face for the first time.

“What’s the matter number two? Did I take the wind out from under your wings?” You asked teasingly.

Hawks gave a scoff, “Nah you’re just the pretty new thing for the time. The same thing happened when Mount Lady first came on the scene. Enjoy it while it lasts,” he remarked.

“Sure sounds like you’re upset. You know if you’re so mad you can take it out on me later,” you said with a wink as you departed.

Leaving Hawk's mouth agape, and eyebrow raised, at your provocative invitation.

The incident led to your phone sounding off with a notification in the dead of night.

[Hawks]: Ok, so what if I am a little mad?

Even reading the message several times over you still couldn’t believe Hawks really looked up your hero account and sent you a message. You were fast to respond with your usual flirtatious personality.

[You]: I’d be more than happy to come collect my punishment 😉.

Hawks’s next message was simple. An address. You blinked your eyes expecting to be seeing things. It was too unbelievable to think the number two hero would be calling you over at 1am.

Frenzy ensued as you rushed about, changing out of your comfy clothes into sexy lingerie, fixing your hair, brushing your teeth. Your heart pounding faster with each action.

Putting his address into your phone you decided you had no more time left to pamper up, being that he was a solid 45 minutes away.

[You]: Be there at 2.

[Hawks]: Sounds good.

The estate was unbelievable. You assumed it would be a big place given his hero status, but this went beyond anything your imagination cooked up.

Parked outside the gate you let out a breath, fuck ok. You uttered trying to calm yourself. Keeping your flirtatious confident demeanor was easy when doing hero work, one-on-one however was a different story.

The last thing you wanted was for Hawks to catch on to any of your nervousness.

This is fine, you told yourself. But your hands shook as you reached for your phone to text him.

[You]: How do I get into this castle?

Shortly after sending the text, the gate slowly pulled open.

[Hawks]: Buzzed you in. Come up, little hero.

One more deep breath and you drove through the gate following the driveway up. Unsure of what kind of night you just signed up for.

sinners: @unofficialsapphire @mintsbubbletea @starieqq

[mysumeow]

Could you write a part two to the Lyney x reckless reader? I literally loved it so much, it was amazing. Maybe a love confession lol. "Why do you care so much about me getting hurt all the time?" "Because I love you, dammit!"

──Lyney with a reader who's reckless wherever they go and whatever they do PT. 2

ᓚᘏᗢ : You can find the first part here.

ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: Reader death mentioned, but it's pretty sfw. GN pronouns and body.

ᓚᘏᗢ Summary: Reader has the special ability to regenerate whenever they die. Reader has fun with this power, but it's not as fun for the magician they befriended.

ᓚᘏᗢ A/N: Hello anooon ;7; It's been a while since you sent the request ToT hopefully you're still around and get to see this post? lkajhfsadlkfjhh I didn't imagine someone would ask me to write a continuation of this, but here we are! I hope you enjoy it :DDD

⸝⸝⸝

Today was the day for a nice little picnic with your Fontainian peers. Nice weather, the birds are chirping, you're under the shade of a tree...

Until a freaking lawachurl appeared out of nowhere and forced your outing to an abrupt stop! Its heavy footsteps caused tremors across the ground, which spilled the jug of bulle fruit on the picnic blanket. 

“Why—you—” fed up, you stood up and prepared yourself for battle.

Lyney, however, was faster to stop you before you had the chance to do anything.

“Hey, that sturdy thing is like 5 meters tall or more; you don’t stand a chance,” Lyney looped his arms around you, trying to pull you away from your possible demise.

“I don’t care, I’m giving it a lesson!” You struggled against him. “If I die, I’ll just come back and continue giving it a beating!”

If it weren’t for Lynette’s and Freminet’s help, you probably would’ve had an encounter against that thing. While the trio fought to pull you away from the scene before it was too late, the lawachurl’s attention was focused instead on the ruined lunch that it trampled on. It was hungry.

“I could’ve taken it down!” You fumed, still not glad at the idea of that monster getting away with the fact it ruined the picnic you had been planning for a while now. The twins had been occupied with work; you barely had any time to see them until now. Finally, the day to hang out with them came, and it was ruined.

At last, they let you go once you were a safe distance away from danger.

“After the 50th attempt, maybe,” Lynette wasn’t amused. “I’m not happy about the ruined picnic either, but it’s not worth it risking our lives fighting against that.”

“It’ll be okay. We could just have lunch at a restaurant. What matters is to spend time together, isn’t it?” Freminet tried to console you.

“But you all know I can regenerate, right? It’s no big deal—”

“It is a big deal to us. To anyone who cares about you,” Lyney’s distress became apparent, his hands settled on your arms. “Even if we know you’ll be okay, it’s not pleasant to see you die. Do you get it now or not?”

His words felt akin to a bucket of cold water. “I didn’t imagine you would care that much…”

Lyney was astounded, and for a moment, you felt his grip falter.

“I’m sor—”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m—whAT?”

His hands around your arms regained their strength, holding you with conviction now. “You’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t care deeply about you. Not only do I worry about you, but I also love you.”

“You mean like as a friend or…?”

“More than that. Much more than that.”

Huh. Interesting.

His hands went to your face, and you felt something meaningful was about to happen—thus, you didn’t move away from it.

The touch of his lips against yours was short and sweet, and the tension in your body melted away with it. Your body finally eased away from that “fight or flight” response, and you wrapped your arms around Lyney.

There was a moment of silence, allowing the newfound feelings to settle in, and you watched as his cheeks became pink the longer you stared at him.

“You’re so cute,” Lyney smiled, pleased. “Your face’s very warm.”

You stumbled over your words before you could change the subject. “Wh-Where’s Lynette and Freminet?!”

“Oh, I think they’re chatting over there.”

Lyney and you headed towards them.

“Hello there, lovebirds. It was about time you came back from your little fantasy world,” Lynette teased.

“I didn’t notice when you left.” Lyney scratched his cheek bashfully.

“The moment you confessed your long-time feelings, I knew that was our cue to leave.”

You’ve never seen the flirty magician's face this red before.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

Samia Gamal (Afrita Hanem)— Egyptian movie star and belly dancer oh my god she is ELECTRIC and unbelievably charismatic, the way she can move her body matched with that perfect smile will melt you

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

ion words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

Samia Gamal:

[fruitgummies01]

So I managed to get time tonight to see Jung Kook's 'I Am Still' documentary, and I have many thoughts lol.

Spoiler Free Review

JK is so ridiculously talented. I'm sure it was already obvious. but seeing him in the studio, recording his first album, was amazing. He has such a unique ear for music, and it was impressive to hear him in the studio with his English-speaking producers in the U.S. JK repeatedly talked about how nervous he was whenever he was doing something new, and the astounding thing is you could never tell. His nervousness never showed. He was always delivering at such a high level, that you could never tell in any of his performances. Hearing his luscious vocals and tone in surround sound in a loud theater was worth the price of admission alone.

Spoiler Filled Review Below

There's honestly not too much to spoil. If you watched many of JK's performances during his promo run, you probably have already seen like 80% of the documentary. The TSX performance in Times Square, GMA, Global Citizens Festival, the Golden Live on Stage Showcase, and one of the performances he did in the UK were all highlighted. It's crazy that JK was sick through so much of his promo run. One of the only times he mentioned in the documentary that he was feeling in good condition was for the TSX performance. It was also very obvious how much JK's staff loves him. The fact that they were always taking care of him and asking how he slept, and would cheer if he slept well was sweet.

The behind-the-scenes of Jung Kook recording Standing Next to You, going to the doctor before his GMA performance, and the cutting of his hair all felt like the most significant scenes to me that were actually new. JK recording SNTY really showcased his genius as a musically gifted artist. I mentioned this earlier in my spoiler-free section but JK has a remarkable ear for music, and the fact he could hear a note sung by a producer, immediately knew what they wanted and how to sing it, and deliver it back despite the language barrier was insane. Even though JK was too humble to admit it in the documentary, he 1000% is a musical genius with an innate natural ability that can't be taught.

In terms of appearances by other members, there was not much. While rehearsing Permission to Dance for Global Citizen Festival (I think lol) JK mentioned that Jin and Jimin drive him crazy because of how high their parts are in the song, and that fact he had to sing their parts 😅. He visited Barnes and Noble and saw all the members albums. Tae made a suuuuuper awkward appearance while JK was recording lol. JK's one-arm sideways half hug (with his other hand still in his pocket) made me laugh. Next, Jimin. I have no idea if JK had any input on how the documentary was put together, but Jimin making an appearance at the very end, being one of the last things included, actually felt so meaningful. JK had just buzzed off the rest of his hair, had finished recording Never Let Go, and went to find Jimin. Seeing Jimin's full body reaction to seeing JK's hair for the first time felt equal parts funny and emotional. JK leaned into Jimin as Jimin rubbed his head and then asked him how it looked, like he needed his encouragement at that moment. I thought it was really touching. The scene with Jimin and the scene with his barber/hairstylist who cried after cutting JK's hair felt like two of the most personal scenes in the film that didn't have to do with JK as the artist, but with Jung Kook the person.

This leads me to a few of my issues. While I loved it, I did at times find myself wishing it was a little more personal. A lot of time was spent on interviews with his English-speaking producers who worked on Golden and their thoughts, but thankfully PDogg and Son Sung Deuk were also included to add some much-needed insight into Jung Kook as a person. (I don't want to get flamed for mentioning it, but I really hated seeing Scooter appear, but thankfully he remained in the background during Seven's recording.) The jumping around in time didn't really work for me either, but maybe it's because I was crazy locked in during that time and know the exact order in which his performances happened lol. I also wonder why they didn't include more rehearsal or practice dance footage. They included sooo many full performances from Golden Live on Stage and so much hard work and preparation had to have gone into pulling that off, so it was a little surprising not to see much behind-the-scenes content from it. Or maybe BigHit is saving that footage to use at a later time, which would be very like them lol.

Overall, I would HIGHLY recommend everyone watch 'I Am Still' to see Jung Kook's genius at work on the big screen!!! For a 1 hour and 33 minute documentary , it was time very well spent. Again thank you again to the anon who messaged me asking for my review, this very very long review is really all your fault haha. 😅

[dweemeister]

Instant reactions to the 96th Academy Awards

A rough night for me. But there have been rougher ones before. I imagine most of my comments put me in a very lonely minority, as has been apparent the last few months.

But here goes:

For all intents and purposes, yours truly was on the Killers of the Flower Moon train. An extraordinary crime epic from Scorsese, with astounding craftsmanship and fantastic performance from Lily Gladstone. More than what I previously believed possible, a major studio production went out of its way to make sure that its Indigenous American representation on-screen was as genuine as it could possibly be (still imperfect, as the film acknowledges, but what an effort). And yet, KOTFM goes 0/10. I've never had a favored Best Picture nominee be shut out in such a way before. And I'm not surprised at all by it. It was clear that non-American and non-Canadian audiences didn't get the context to the film (a criticism I understand, given the screenplay) and, in other quarters, folks thought it was too long (I admittedly have a higher tolerance for longer movies) and others have said something akin to the fact that they are getting tired over "racial guilt" movies from America. I'm not in the mood to respond to the last one. I think it deserved better tonight. I particularly think Lily Gladstone deserved better tonight.

Stat upheld: two non-white actresses have never won on the same night in Oscar history. History, in and of itself, was always against Gladstone.

Oppenheimer winning? Fine, I guess. It was my #4 choice of the ten Best Picture nominees. I guess Christopher Nolan was overdue, but I have always been a Nolan skeptic. The film certainly is his most humanistic, and I appreciate that. As for the narrative organization and editing trickery? It mostly serves to take me out of the movie. And I don't think Nolan truly understands what thematic film music can accomplish for his movies. I think RDJ should have had much more competition all season long, but he did not. Most people are gonna say this is the return of the Academy's favorite subgenre... the Great Man Biopic. But in composition and structure, Oppenheimer (and even Maestro) resembles very little of the past Great Man Biopics. It'll be interesting to see how history treats this movie.

I disliked Poor Things. I didn't care for its sense of humor, didn't agree with many folks' opinions that it was a magnum opus of female empowerment. I thought it was incredibly male gaze-y and troublingly sanitized its scenes of sex work. Jerskin Fendrix's score was unlistenable outside the context of the film and distracting within it. But it has four Academy Awards and people love this movie, so my opinion can go to heck?

Well done Da'Vine Joy Randolph for her win as Supporting Actress for The Holdovers. I truly hope this opens up a lot more new opportunities for her going for! Wonderful speech.

And speaking of wonderful speeches, both documentary winners got me very emotional. The Last Repair Shop is on YouTube for American and Canadian viewers, and it's simply wonderful. Perhaps the happiest I was all night long! And then came Mstyslav Chernov's speech after winning for 20 Days in Mariupol. Chernov had, arguably, the speech of the night. And I agree with him. I, too, wish he never had to make his film and that he never won this Oscar. But he did his job to document what happened in Mariupol. And for that he (and the Ukrainians suffering and dying in their war versus Russia) deserves our plaudits and support.

Once more, Hayao Miyazaki cannot be bothered to show up to an awards ceremony. It's hilarious! I would have voted Robot Dreams, but The Boy and the Heron is not a winner to sniff at. Spider-Verse will have one more shot.... whenever the third movie comes out?

Good lord, they selected the worst possible winner in Animated Short with War Is Over!. There's an unwritten rule that the Academy, among the fifteen nominated shorts, must select one which will piss me the hell off. And for the second straight year in Animated Short, they have done exactly that, choosing something akin to a soft drink commercial.

Billie Eilish and Finneas are now the youngest and second-youngest ever to win two Oscars, after Luise Rainer (Best Actress for 1936's The Great Ziegfeld and 1937's The Good Earth). That feels very, very weird. In both cases of this record.

The "I'm Just Ken" performance? Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Like Ken)??? Busby Berkeley choreography? What do the kids say? Inject that straight into my veins? It was wonderful.

And speaking of nods to cinema history, I'm so glad they led off the stunt performers tribute with Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd. :,)

And congratulations to Godzilla Minus One and its Best Visual Effects win! After seventy years, Godzilla is now an Oscar-winning franchise, and its win percentage is 100%! Simply wonderful!

I think the moral of the story is that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) has been gradually internationalizing over the last decade. And the results of that were very clear tonight. Does that mean I'm too provincial in my tastes? I don't know. But wins such as Emma Stone's, Anatomy of a Fall, The Boy and the Heron, and Godzilla are demonstrative of that.

I'm glad this season is over. I certainly hope that Killers of the Flower Moon will be looked upon more kindly by history and time, without the bells and whistles of awards campaigning and a fuller understanding of why it was made the way it was.

This month has been fun! But now it's time to see movies again without the lens of awards for a long, long while.

[allthingsfern]

Trigger warning: Contains some graphic images of war and concentration camp victims.

History Talks: The Life of Lee Miller, Narrated by Kate Winslet

I went to see Lee Saturday night. What an astounding work of art. Highly recommend it. The film, because of its subject matter, does play out in the aftermath of violence and does not shy away from showing it. However, the visual depictions are graphic, yet never cruel or gruesome, The focus of those scenes, as with all of the film, is Miller, Sherman, and the soldiers and victims’ human reactions to the, at that time and place in history, unimaginable, endless brutality. 

I cannot recommend this film enough, not only to all photographers, but to all who care about humanity, and to those who want a succinct reference to a past that very much reflects our present.

And yes, I will probably go see it at the theater again. It was that astounding.

[edupiii]

The other night I went on a tangent to my friends about the music in Murder Drones and how it’s hard to compare the albums since they are each amazing in their own ways. Despite this, my friend insisted that I compare them, so I did. After writing everything out, she said I should post it so that’s what’s happening!

Welcome to an informal essay about the music in Murder Drones

In this essay, I will be going over the 4 albums created by A.J Dispirito and the strengths within each album. This essay is to show that the music between the albums is unable to be compared to one another as they are all astounding and work wonders for the atmosphere of the overall show.

Feel free to disagree with me and let me know your thoughts!

Murder Drones Pilot Mini-Album

The pilots album could be considered the weakest of the 4. It doesn’t have that many tracks that are reused throughout the other episodes. BUT- it is very strong as it has “Murder Brings” which is the trailer song for the pilot and it’s kind of a banger. I find it not as good as “Eternal Dream” “BITE ME” and “FOREVER” but it’s still super fucking good. In the first album we also have “Click”, “Gin Rummy”, “UZI THE DRONE KILLER” and “Goth Girl Anime Lover VS Wholesome Killer Boy” which are all very good songs that get you hyped for fight scenes. There are a few more mellow songs in the pilot’s album, making it not stand out as much. Despite that, it is also the very album that brought us the iconic Murder Drones theme music, which has been a staple in all future songs throughout the series. It’s not looked at as much as the other albums but it worked for the pilot and that’s all it really needed to do. It was good and is still good.

Murder Drones Volume 1

Next is the first official MD album. Once again, it can be overlooked like the pilots soundtrack since it doesn’t have super gut punchy, kick assy music. HOWEVER- it has a very eerie tone to it since it’s going over the second episode (with the Eldritch J monster) and it takes place in Dolls Room which is scary as fuck. It also gives us a few really good adrenaline pumping songs like “Aaaaahhh”. The song Bathtub” is in this album and it is spooky and intense which I love! Classic horror vibes. We also get “Uuugghhh” in this album which is possibly one of my favourites since it keeps going from energetic to spooky and I find that really funny for some reason (also the scenes this song was used for is hilarious). “Get Prommed” and “The Knife Dance” are INCREDIBLY ICONIC and have that addicting saxophone in it along with lots of grove. I really like “Spooky Flashback? oooooo” since it gives us a first look at the Elliot Manor and what kind of music we will be hearing in the 5th episode. Mind you, it’s not as good as the songs in the 5th episode but for foreshadowing, I think it works beautifully as it just gives us a small idea of what the manor was like for N, V and J. I think the first album is often overlooked but just like the pilot album, it has some wicked shit in it that you can’t ignore.

Murder Drones Volume 2

The second album I think might be my favourite because of the music used for the Elliot Manor flashbacks. There’s something so saddening and cold yet cheerful about them that I just cant shake and I adore them. It’s most definitely the soft piano that does it for me. Im a whore for soft piano music. We also have “Falling…For You??”, “Gentle” and “huggie wuggies” which PULL on my heart strings. The mellow music in this album is so well done and make me weep like a small child. DONT GET ME STARTED ON ETERNAL DREAM- I could write an entirely different essay just on that song alone and its relation to V’s entire character, however, I’m pretty sure that has already been done by many more qualified people than myself so you may go read those.

Then we’ve got the scary music in this album, which is a HUGE leap forward compared to the pilots album and the first album. Songs like “Solver Uzi”, “Heh, Nothing Personal Kid”, “SENTINEL 000D”, “…wow…ok THATS Pretty Dark” “literally just noise (your favourite)” and “Earth” are all phenomenal songs that give the spooks and scares. They are eerie and are drenched in anticipation for what is going to happen next. They give so much emphasis on the danger that these characters are in and can make you feel the same way. They freak you out and that is their job. Personal bias to the second album but it is phenomenal. I feel like people might not listen to the softer music in it which I totally understand, but I love it a lot.

Murder Drones Volume 3

And finally, we have the third album.

To start off, this shit goes incredibly hard with its scary stuff. They injected some sort of chemical into this album. I think it might be the chimes and whispers and church music. They added more eerie sounds in this album and I LOVE IT so much. The album starts STRONG with “When you forget to pray” which is so scary and gross and eerie, I love her. It fit the church scene so well and the song itself is disgustingly horrendous with its churchy vibes yet it makes them sound anything but holy. “Callback Ping”, “Absolute Solver” “…Hey guys, just wanted to say what’s up” and “……run” are TERRIFYING! nothing more can be said about those other than that. They scare the shit out of me and I can’t deal with that. Im pretty sure there is screaming in these ones as well, so that adds to the charm of spook. “Die Mad” is a bit spooky but it GOES SO HARD. UNREASONABLY HARD. But then it gets all soft and sad and makes me weep.

Speaking of weeping; “Hang Out?” and “Falling With You” MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF. YHEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AAGUUUUUGHHHH-

And finally, the kick ass shit in this album is probably what defines it from the others. Each album has eeriness to them or a few songs that get you pumped; but this album? We’ve got “Eternal DESTROYER” 3 different versions of “BITE ME”, “…Uzi and N: The Drone Killers”, and “YOU’RE FREAKIN’ GROUNDED” which all are such good fighting songs and get you hyped up. They are the songs that get YOU wanting to kick ass, and I love it.

Like the others, there is a few mellow songs in this album, but not a ton. “FOREVER”, “ur aight”, and “haha yea dude, that’s sick” are all very good songs since they take place during scenes of walking or talking, not really any big action. Despite that they are all chillish and are incredibly catchy, they all still carry that eerie feeling that something isn’t right and that’s perfect for the series since we continuously know that something isn’t right.

In conclusion, all 4 of the albums created for the Murder Drones series are incredible in different ways. They each have strengths as well as songs that stand out. I wouldn’t say that one is better than the other since they all have songs that fit the episodes that they premiered in. A.J Dispirito has been very consistent with the quality of their music produced throughout the shows run time, keeping a balance of action, eerie, sweet and scary. I think that music for this series may be difficult to make since there’s so many jumps from goofy to scary to cute and so on. You can definitely see Dispirito’s improvment in their work throughout the series, but every song they’ve created has been excellent.

[brettanomycroft]

Big questions and takeaways I have after MAGP 12:

STAGGERINGLY ATROCIOUS STAG PARTY Anusia please 🤣

Does Celia like-like Sam because her response says "Yes, but also I have to consult the entities inhabiting/possessing my body/causing me to sleepwalk" (to which her solution was "Let's go right after work/before I have to go to sleep")?? I need to know

I ship Sam x Happiness, which is a shame because that's one ship that's definitely not going to be canon

Sam has a high EQ and is doing nothing to dissuade my impression that he's super empathetic and has few qualms about using that to manipulate and get what he wants. Example:

Alice: gets jealous and digs in about Celia Sam: deflects by bringing up her helping him with his Magnus Institute mystery*rinse and repeat*

Did Sam and Alice break up because Alice is simultaneously too possessive and also unwilling to admit/talk about it? I'm pretty firmly on the "Sam broke up with Alice and tried to do it in the gentlest 'We're better off as friends' way possible" camp and Alice is sooo not over him

Cases are definitely not randomly assigned. This was clear with Sam and The Magnus Institute case(s), but it's clearly not just a "Sam's a special boy" instance, as it does not seem like a coincidence that Gwen got the Bonzo case

*If* cases are not randomly assigned, then who is in control? Lena? Freddy? JMJ? All of the above?

Bonzo has TWO LAYERS OF TEETH his first teeth are not soft and his second teeth are not blunt

The level of coverup involved in Bonzo-related murders has got to be STAGGERING (hehe). Mr. Bonzo TORE through that stag party and the bartender but left most of them alive. He was not being discreet. It's astounding that the most the media has to say about it is "Mr. Bonzo was spotted at the scene of five murders" when he's out there merrily cavorting with his prey like a cat playing with a mouse before killing it. Not to mention whoever was involved in placing the lunchbox and CD

Gwen's post-case conversation would have been WAY different if it had been Sam rather than Alice who came across her first, but I'm not sure if it would have been because Gwen doesn't know Sam enough yet to show her vulnerable side or if it's because Sam would have taken her seriously from the start

To that previous point... Sorry y'all, Alice (intentionally) fumbled this one. Gwen tried opening up to her and it was like the moment Alice saw it happening she went "Nuh-uh absolutely not, not getting involved in whatever's got you shook up, do not want to fall down the spooky rabbit hole" and shut Gwen down with joke after joke. Gwen attempted to communicate and Alice shut her out, and I think it's unlikely Gwen tries again until things are waaaay past the point of no return (unless Sam intervenes). I interpret this as Alice knowing there is something Very Wrong and really now wanting to dig deeper/get involved, but I'm not opposed to the theory that Alice knows more than she's revealing. I am still holding out for some Sam-Gwen conspiracy buddy investigations though.

Anyway, my jaw was on the floor for most of the case... and so was Baz's.

[random-imagines-blog]

Ambulances {Robert Downey Jr x Teen!Reader Oneshot} 

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 3483 Summary: Being the youngest actor on the MCU is a dream come true - but why doesn't you feel as good as you should? Notes: Talks about depression.

This was meant to be everything that you ever wanted. The chance to work on one of the biggest franchises the world had ever seen. Appearing in a huge movie, and then getting the chance to star in a television show afterwards, all about your character. Possibly more movie appearances. Getting paid so handsomely that if you were careful, you wouldn’t ever go into debt. Rubbing elbows with some of the biggest and brightest stars in the world. Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch. And you weren’t even out of high school yet. You were supposed to be living the dream.  

Then why did it feel like it was spiraling down into one of those nights where you don’t remember your dreams? It wasn’t a nightmare. There were negatives but nothing that you didn’t expect going into the acting profession. You didn’t hate your job. You didn’t hate your character. You just - started to feel nonchalant about the whole thing. Nothing at all. It started off with not feeling as excited as you used to when you woke up in your trailer to go to set. You were tired and had to drag yourself out of bed to go to hair and make-up.  

Robert was getting his done, his iconic Tony Stark facial hair being trimmed and shaved perfectly. You muttered a good morning before taking your seat, and one of the makeup artists came to work on you. 

“Rough night, kid?” Robert asked, raising an eyebrow at you.  

“I don’t think I slept that well,” you said. “Just - couldn’t get out of bed today.” 

“That’s called being a teenager,” He chuckled.  

“Yeah, probably,” you said, forcing out a chuckle back. You would just chalk this one up to a bad day. Everyone had those. You were able to pep yourself up for your scenes, and work through them without any issues. It was good to focus on something other than yourself for once. Get into the character. Become someone else for a little while. Someone who was mighty, and strong, who got out of bed each morning without trouble - unless they were beat up, which because this was a superhero movie, happened quite often. But you declined going out for dinner with everyone else, just saying that you were tired and headed back to your trailer while they went out to enjoy themselves.  

You looked around your trailer once you were inside. It was quiet in there, save for the very faint buzzing of electricity that was powering the lights. You collapsed down on the small couch where you usually went over your lines but - you couldn’t think of what to do. You didn’t feel like doing ... anything. There was your gaming console set up by the tv, a stack of games - but you didn’t feel like playing them. There was Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney Plus and Hulu - but you didn’t feel like watching anything. There was your laptop, but you didn’t feel like website surfing. So, you just - sat there. Doing nothing. Feeling nothing.  

Your phone went off. You could see the name on top. One of your best friends from back home. Someone that you usually loved to talk to. But you just ... didn’t feel much like talking to them. A stab of guilt made its home in your stomach once the screen went dark again, knowing that you should have answered it. There was no reason to ignore them. But you still didn’t move. Just letting this feeling of ‘you should you should you should’ take you over.  

-- 

You didn’t even remember falling asleep - and you couldn’t remember if you dreamt or not. One minute, you were sitting on your couch, staring blankly ahead of you, not even thinking of anything, and the next, you were still sitting there but there was light coming in through the curtains and your alarm was going off on your cellphone.  

You were astounded at yourself. You’d never done this before, never felt this way before. You forced yourself up and into the shower but there too, you didn’t feel like doing much of anything. It all felt so ... tedious and worthless. How many times in your life were you going to waste time, standing here in the shower, washing your hair? How many times were you going to cover your loofa in bodywash and lather yourself up? Doing it all today just to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. It felt so dull. 

And when you got out, all squeaky clean and put on a random hoodie and jeans to head out to hair and makeup, yet again, you didn’t feel as good as you usually did. Usually, a shower was just the thing that helped you start the day. You felt good when you were clean. “God, what’s wrong with me?” You muttered to yourself as you went into trailer and took your seat. 

This time it was Chris Evans that got there the same time you did, sitting in the opposite chair. “You missed a fun night,” he said, grinning at his phone. 

“Oh,” you said, looking straight ahead of you into the mirror. You forced out a laugh that didn’t feel real. “Next time, next time.” 

“I’ll hold you to it. They had some of the best tacos that I’ve ever had-” Chris said, turning into an excited puppy as he often did when he found something that he liked. Usually, it was enough to make you cheerful. But you just tuned him out, not having the attention span for this conversation. Or maybe it just wasn’t the energy. 

The makeup artists started on you, having to use a bit more concealer than they usually did. “Make sure you get all eight hours,” The artist reminded you.  

“Yeah, sorry about that,” You forced a chuckle. She covered your dark circles expertly, patting on powder to try to make it look more natural, and then you were out there to get ready for the shot of the day. You had a bit of time until you actually had to be on the set, since you were just coming in at the end of the scene, so you sat down and just ... watched. You didn’t really say anything to anyone. You weren’t in the most sociable mood. You let your mind wander, your body being present, but your mind was far away.  

“Hey kid,” A voice snapped you out of it. You blinked a couple of times and looked to see that Robert was sitting right next to you. You hadn’t noticed because you had been so busy thinking about ... you couldn’t even remember. That was more startling than Robert’s voice coming out of nowhere. You had no idea what you had been thinking about.  

“Hey,” You nodded, and then looked back out to the set, watching Chris Evans and Scarlett working together on a scene. “I didn’t know you were supposed to be on set today.” 

“‘m not, but I got bored so though I’d check it out,” he said, crossing his arms in front of him. Robert Downey Jr was intimidating, not because he was tough or scary, but because of his long career, and how he managed to recover from some pretty drastic dips. “You seem a little glum, chum.” 

“No, I’m just ... tired,” you said. It felt like a flimsy excuse, but you didn’t have one that felt better. It must have sounded weak as well, because Robert took off his sunglasses in a very Tony fashion and slipped them into his front pocket.  

“Just tired?” He asked. “You coming down with the flu or something?” 

“That could be it,” You nodded, clutching onto that idea. Maybe you had just gotten sick. Maybe there was a bug going around. There was always some kind of bug going around. It would explain your increase in listless behavior. You weren’t always the most active person, but you had been able to keep up with Marvel’s standards for their actors, but now that you were finding it harder, the flu made perfect sense. “Yeah, I think it’s just the flu. Better not get too close, huh?” 

“I’m not worried, I get my shot every year,” Robert said, casually. “You know - you could come to one of us if something is wrong, right?” 

It almost felt like an accusation of sorts. Like he could see right through you. See something that you were having trouble seeing in yourself.  

“Yeah, of course, you’re like - the best mentor ever,” You nodded, forcing on another smile. Just the flu, nothing was seriously wrong, it’s not like you could be ... depressed or anything. You didn’t have time to be depressed. You weren’t in the right business to be depressed.  

Your name was being called by the director, so you stood up quickly. “Gotta go. Good talk.” 

“Yeah, good talk,” Robert said, watching your back as you walked away. He saw something in you that he saw in himself, saw the beginning of something that he had struggled through for a lot of his adult life. And he didn’t want to see you struggle through it, at least not alone. He was going to be keeping an eye on you - two if he could spare them. 

-- 

It felt like the longest month of your life. It just dragged on, and on. There were at least four times that you had almost quit the movie. Where you brought up your manager’s number on your phone and almost pressed dial because you wanted out of your contract. It didn’t matter how much money you would owe the studio, or that you would be blackballed in Hollywood. Nothing felt like it mattered anymore. Your gaming system and laptop were collecting dust, literally, you had drawn a sad face on the system in the dust. You didn’t go out with the rest of the cast anymore, claiming other plans or that you weren’t feeling well, and spent the time in your trailer alone, with the lights off. Not because you were hiding but because you didn’t care to turn them on. You’d just be turning them off when you went to sleep so what was the point? You woke up, you dragged yourself out of bed, you went to set, and then you went back to your trailer and back into bed. You’d doom scroll through social media but not interact with anything.  

You went through the horrors of the world like you were trying to prove something. Or use it as a reason to be the way that you were being. The world was a crazy, unhappy place, so of course you were unhappy. Of course, you were falling into a depression - which was something that you could no longer deny. This wasn’t a few bad days, or the flu, or just feeling uneasy. This was full on, falling through the cracks, feeling worthless, depression.  

You didn’t deserve to be here. You weren’t putting in the work that you should be, which made you anxious about your performance, which made you feel even worse. You felt like you were just an imposter among all of these stars, you didn’t earn your place among them. It should be someone else here. A star like - Jenna Ortega, or Noah Schnapp, would fit in here better than you could. You were messing up your lines, having to have someone feed them to you through a small earpiece that couldn’t be seen on camera. You were given warnings by the director to shape up. You didn’t even cry when you were given that criticism. You didn’t get mad, you didn’t feel proud that he cared enough about you to want you to do better, you just felt numb to it, and returned to your bed like you did time and time again.  

It was after you spent an entire weekend in your bed, not showering, only eating what you could grab quickly and bring back to the bed, which was all the unhealthy stuff, not even changing your pajamas once, that you admitted that you had a problem. That you were forced to deal with the cold reality that - you weren’t coming down with the flu, but that this could seriously be depression. You couldn’t live in the denial of it anymore. 

You knew you should call your parents. Maybe your manager. Maybe even your family doctor to get a referral to a therapist or something along those lines. But there was only one person that you could think of talking to. 

You forced yourself into a shower, found some clothes that smelled relatively clean and didn’t have any stains on them, and put your shoes on for the first time in days. The sun was shining, and you had to admit that it felt kind of nice on your skin after so long. The crew were running around, getting things prepared for today’s shoot, which you didn’t have any part of. A free day, at least for now.  

You walked past a couple of the trailers, looking for the right one. A sign in the door had his name in big block letters, and you saw that he had drawn a little Iron Man underneath it. It wasn’t very well done but it was recognizable. You knocked on the door and then put your hands in your pockets, looking around to see if anyone was noticing you lingering outside. 

The door opened and Robert poked his head out. His cool expression warmed up when he saw you standing there. “What’s up kid?” 

You looked at him and you tried to think of exactly how you were going to say this. He already knew the meaning behind you coming to his door. But - he was still going to make you say it. You just had to say it. 

“I think - I have a problem, Robert,” You admitted. It was the first time that you said it out loud. Your first outside admission that something was wrong. You were putting it out into the universe because that’s the only way that you could get any sort of help.  

“I thought so,” Robert said, stepping out of his trailer. “Come with me.” 

-- 

He didn’t take you straight to a therapist or to the hospital or anything else that you had fared he was going to do. Instead, he took you to a small ice cream parlor near the studio. He bought you a sundae, loaded with all of your favorite toppings, even if you didn’t necessarily feel like eating something sweet right now. You didn’t feel like you deserved the treat. 

“Go on,” Robert urged, digging into his own with a plastic spoon. “You admitted you have a problem. That’s step number one, you deserve it.” 

It was like he could read your mind. He knew exactly what you were thinking and why you weren’t eating. So, you picked up the spoon and you dug it into the mess of ice cream and toppings and sauces and took out a large scoop and put it into your mouth. The sweetness ... actually tasted sweet. It didn’t taste like ashes on your tongue like a lot of food does these days. Eagerly, you went for a second scoop, and Robert was looking at you like you were a child of his that he was proud of.  

“I - I don’t know if it’s depression exactly. I’ve never really been depressed before,” You admitted, stirring your ice cream to make it a little softer, a little easier to eat. “As far as I know, it doesn’t run in my family. And ... it’s not like ... I feel sad or anything. I don’t cry...” 

“Depression isn’t just about feeling sad. Everyone feels sad,” Robert said, taking a bite of his own. “It sucks the life right out of you. It makes you lose your spark. Your passion. Any pleasure that you have in life, it just ... takes it away.” 

“That ... is how I’ve been feeling,” you said with a small nod. “I know it’s ridiculous, like, I’ve got my dream role and -” 

“It doesn't matter, kid,” Robert said, kindly. “You could be the happiest, richest person on the planet, and you can still get depressed. It’s not about deserving it. It’s just something that unfortunately happens.” 

You kept stirring your ice cream rather than eating it, watching the toppings drown under the melting cream. It was hard to take in that this was something that was actually happening to you. It was like a car crash in a way. It happened to other people. It was never supposed to happen to you. 

“So, what do I do?” You asked, slumping back. “Because I can’t ... I can’t be this way. It’s exhausting. I’m forgetting my lines, I can’t concentrate, I keep fucking up scenes and I feel like everyone is mad at me -” 

“No one is mad at you,” Robert said, pointing his spoon in your direction. “Everyone is worried about you. I think we all had it figured out before you did. Did you know that Evans has social anxiety? He works on it every day. He’d be another good person to talk to about all of this stuff. It’s different from depression but ... it has some of the same struggles.” 

“I’ll try to remember that” You mumbled. “So really, what do I do? How can I... get over this?” You plead. You put all of your trust in Robert here. He’d become a leading figure in your life since you joined the MCU.  

“It’s a disease,” Robert said, sadly. “It’s not something where you just take two pills and you’re done. There are medications that’ll help you out, but they take a little while work, and sometimes, you have to go through a couple of different ones to find out what works for you. Though what I’d recommend is therapy.” 

“Therapy?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed together. “I don’t even know what I’d say. I don’t have some ... deep childhood trauma that I can just point my fingers to. I don’t even ... know how to explain how I feel.” 

“You did a good enough job with me,” Robert pointed out.  

“That’s because I know you. I’m comfortable with you. And you knew what it was before I did...” 

“Why don’t I give you the name and number of the therapist I’ve been seeing for years. They’re really good,” Robert said, taking off his sunglasses and making straight up eye contact with you. “Or - they can help you find someone who fits you best. That’s important. You have to feel comfortable talking to them. There’s no shame in trying to find the one for you.” 

You groaned and put your head down on the table, the metal feeling cold against your forehead. You were hoping it was going to be easier than that. That it could just be like antibiotics, take two a day and scare the depression away. But of course, nothing was ever going to come that easy in this life. You were going to have to work for it. Just like how you worked hard for everything else that you achieved.  

“It’s going to be a trek,” Robert said, clicking his tongue, spooning up more of his ice cream. “But I think you can handle it. You took that first step, now you just have to make a phone call.” 

He took a card out of his wallet, and he slid it across the table to you. A professional business card, the name and number of a therapist. You just looked at it from your position on the table, your head turned onto its side now. “Do I have to do it right now?”  

“You don’t have to do anything,” Robert shrugged. “It’s up to you when you’re ready.” 

You sighed again. You missed the days when your parents used to make the phone calls. Used to schedule your appointments for you. Made sure that you got there on time. That was one of the annoying parts of being an adult. You had to do it yourself now. 

You raised your head and read the card again. The name of the doctor in a neat, no-nonsense font. You took another spoonful of your ice cream, took your phone out of your pocket, and started to dial the number, looking at Robert the whole time who gave you a thumbs up. It was going to be a rough road but - at least you could honestly say that you were not alone. That helped more than anyone could ever understand. 

[pixeldistractions]

intermission: cleaning out the pipes

You get paid to unclog the toilet, not to ask what clogged it up in the first place. Try not to look. You really don’t want to know what’s in there.

Jordan never went to college himself. Having little experience about what goes on in these college dorms, he just assumed those wild college frat house movies were far-fetched. But then he hears giggles and moans from the room next door, and he wonders how terribly authentic they might be.

Excuse me, you’re doing what?!? With how many boys?!? Quiet little Melissa Fortney from Lakeside Heights? Shy bug girl who had a crush on Beau Jackson and only first learned about sex from Summer Phoenix at the cafeteria lunch table freshman year???

It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?

“We’re just messing around,” she says. “Nothing serious.”

Also, panties collection! 😱😆☠️

Jordan hurries downstairs to work on the dorm kitchen instead. Surely nobody is having sex in the kitchen. Surely! Right? Surely he can finish his work unnoticed. Right?

While there’s nothing obscene happening in this kitchen, yet, Delphie Deppiesse is utterly awestruck. She’s harmless, no worries. Valedictorian of her high school class and certified kindness ambassador, her thoughts are chaste, mostly. But she is overwhelmed with the desire to give this man everything he needs… except the space to do his work.

“Hi, we really appreciate your work here. Oh, I bet it’s really hard. (Delphie is far too virginal to even snicker over her use of the word “hard.”) Can I get you a cup of coffee? Can I hold your wrench? I’m eighteen now, by the way, in case you were wondering.”

Jordan wasn’t wondering. At all.

“Excuse me, um, don’t step in that puddle. I’m not insured for student deaths, I don’t think.”

Melissa joins Delphie in her admiration party, still smelling of saliva and other unmentionable fluids because she couldn’t have had the time for even a quick shower.

Didn’t you get your fill upstairs? we might ask.

Hardly, she thinks. Those college boys don’t really know what they’re doing. Melissa has a taste for older men. Men who know how to use their hands. Case in point: Hudson.

Somewhere in a far-off land called their fevered girlish imaginations, a scene unfolds:

His shirt, a size too small, pulls tight across his shoulders and biceps. The shirt is missing a few too many buttons. Torn buttons, actually, destroyed in a fit of passion, revealing a peek of chest hair and begging to be torn the whole way down to reveal the endless wonders beneath.

“Mmm, is that a wrench in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?” the girls ask.

And he says, “I couldn’t leave without making sure everybody’s pipes were cleaned.”

“Whew,” Melissa swoons, “I gotta go write something down.”

“Wait,” Delphie says, “Can I read it?”

So the girls run off upstairs to write a smutty fic and post it on Pillowfort where it will become viral for a few hours, and a small corner of the internet will simultaneously pleasure themselves over visions of a rugged blond plumber.

Finally, Jordan is left to finish his work day in peace, slightly scandalized, thinking, “Two-thousand dollars… two-thousand dollars… two-thousand dollars…”

Until Austin emerges from where he was watching, astounded at how thirsty those girls got over some overalls and a tool belt. And how many chicks could he score with a Halloween costume like that!?!

“Dude, can I, like, buy your outfit?” Austin asks. “I’ll give you twenty bucks for it? Twenty bucks! Man, come on!”

The clock strikes five and it’s clean-up time.

Go home, Jordan. We won’t judge you if you want to run.

Next -> // 5.2 start // index

[knickynoo]

HELLO, EVERYONE! I SAW THE BTTF MUSICAL YESTERDAY, AND AM READY TO POST SOME (SEMI) COHERENT THOUGHTS!

[Fair warning that some things here may spoil parts of the show.]

• First things first: It was so good. It was so, so, very good. Incredible show. I'd been hearing great things about the show since it first came out in London, and I've been listening to the music since it dropped, so I pretty much went in knowing I'd like it but it still managed to be even better than I thought.

• Just the setup of the theater itself and the ambiance prior to it starting was so cool. The way everything is lit blue and there's all the electrical zapping and humming. THE CONSTANT TICKING OF CLOCKS THAT FILLED THE THEATER. Nothing had even happened yet, and I was like, "This is such a good show."

• My one big cause for hesitation was Casey playing Marty. I know absolutely nothing about the guy, but Marty is just so dear to my heart, and MJF's energy and physicality isn't something easily captured. I had my doubts about seeing someone try to bring Marty to Broadway, but Casey walked onto the stage, called out, "Doc?" and I went, "Yeah, okay. There's Marty."

• For real, though, Casey was phenomenal as Marty. He had the vocal inflection down. The right amount of crackliness. Very good balance of cool kid and disoriented mess.

• Um. HUGH COLES?!? Talk about brilliant casting. I mean it when I say that he somehow seemed more George than George from the movie. The audience reacted with a sense of awe when he started speaking and moving around the stage. It was like Crispin Glover had been plucked straight from the film and injected with More Georgeness. When he did the laugh, the audience went nuts. His physical acting and the way he captured George's gestures perfectly was amazing to watch.

• As I'd expected, Musical Doc is ten times more chaotic and unhinged than Movie Doc. Roger Bart's comedic timing is impeccable. He earned himself frequent howling laughter from the audience from the moment he appeared on stage.

• His "Good thing I kept this radiation suit from my Manhattan Project days" line was a nice touch.

• "Despite my fear of heights, I was standing on my toilet," was such a gem of a line.

• THE DELOREAN. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE DELOREAN. I had no idea how they were going to depict a car speeding to 88mph on a small stage, but THEY DID IT. Astounding. Honestly might be the coolest effects I've ever seen done on a stage. Also, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about the addition of it being voice-activated and talking, but it worked nicely!

• The musical obviously had to trim some parts of the movie—and even omit parts entirely—but it was done so well that you either didn't even notice or miss they were gone. The change from George being hit by a car to simply falling out of the tree was one of these changes. (Marty's under the tree trying to catch him, btw, which is how he ends up getting knocked out)

• I couldn't tell if this was an ad-lib from Casey, but when he was trying to get his pants back on in the Baines house scene, he started struggling a bit with the tangled suspenders that were wrapped around one of the legs of the jeans and muttered in frustration, "Why do I wear suspenders??" Very funny little moment.

• Great chemistry between Bart and Casey. The connection between Doc and Marty was THERE. The musical GOT IT RIGHT. So many hilarious moments between them in the form of completely unintelligible banter, where they're just talking over each other and having like...verbal tennis matches of nonsense. It's hard to describe in writing, but trust me, it was so good. It went something like this:

Doc: "Marty!"

Marty: "Doc!"

Both Simultaneously: *literal gibberish*

• There's a beautiful little addition to the scene when Marty shows up at Doc's house in 1955 and tries to convince him he's from the future. After Doc asks him to take him to this supposed "time machine" Marty goes, "Sure, hang on, I just gotta grab some flashlights." Then he goes straight to a cabinet and quickly retrieves two flashlights without a second thought, to which Doc is like, "How did you know they were in there??" Marty knows!! He knows exactly where the flashlights are because of course he does!!

• Perhaps one of the funniest moments of the show was right at the end of the "Future Boy" number, where the music stops and there's that breaking of the fourth wall moment. Doc and Marty look around in confusion at all the backup singers and dancers awkwardly standing around his house (one of the singers continues dancing/singing long after the others has stopped lol) and Doc wordlessly opens the door so they can all scurry out.

• Doc's dream of visiting the year 2020 where everything is perfect and there's "no disease" got some very loud laughter from the audience.

• Oh. Oh, the scene at Doc's house at night after the demonstration with the toy car. The way everything gets solemn for a moment, and Doc is doubting himself and worried about failing. Marty's lovely little speech about how everything will be okay because he believes in him. He trusts Doc. He knows it'll work and they'll get him home. The way Marty is the one looking after and taking care of Doc in that moment. When he asks, "Do you need anything, Doc? Can I make you a sandwich?" And then when he says softly, "Goodnight, Doc. Pleasant dreams."

THE MUSICAL GETS IT RIGHT. THE WARMTH. THE LOVE. THIS WAS SUCH A NICE ADDITION.

• "PUT YOUR MIND TO IT" !!!! I loved this sequence so, so much. Marty gets to strut his stuff while George flails around trying to imitate him. It was funny, the choreography was great, and we get such a nice Marty and George hug at the end! Why didn't they hug in the movie??

• The audience was super engaged and reactive through the whole show, but it noticeably ramped up in the latter part—starting with the night of the dance. There was such an excitement as people anticipated George swooping in to take down Biff and protect Lorraine. When Biff went down, the audience whooped and clapped and cheered so much.

• EARTH ANGEL! THE MOMENT GEORGE AND LORRAINE KISS. It was just like the movie. The music suddenly swelled, Marvin belted out, "The vision of your happiness", George and Lorraine kissed, and the audience. Lost. Their. Minds. It was as if people were experiencing the story for the first time—that's how strong the reaction was. So cool.

• Audience also went wild at the start of Johnny B. Goode. That was a neat sequence as well. Huge laughs at the "But your kids are gonna love it" line.

• The clocktower scene! Marty handing Doc the letter and saying, "I wrote you a thank-you note; don't read it until you get home!!" LOL. So many amazing effects going on in this one. For those of you who have seen the show, you probably remember Doc running up the clocktower stairs, right? Did the audience nearly die of laughter like they did at my showing? That was truly one of the top 5 funniest moments of the show, in my opinion. It had me giggling hours later once I was home. For those of you who have not seen the show, I don't think I can adequately put into words what was happening during this scene, but it was incredibly funny. It's good there wasn't any dialogue during it, because no one would have heard it with the way everyone was laughing.

• The fire trails on stage got quite the awed reaction. Super cool.

• The hug! We get our Doc and Marty hug at the end! I'm so glad they realized that moment was missing from the movie.

• I liked the shift from Marty waking up at home to him waking up on the bench in town instead. The "George McFly Day" part was a fun addition, and it flowed nicely into Marty's "Power of Love" performance.

• THE CAR FLEW. IT FLEW UP IN THE AIR AND THE WHEELS TURNED IN AND IT WENT OUT OVER THE AUDIENCE. HOW DID THEY DO THAT. IT DID A COMPLETE ROTATION UPSIDE DOWN WHILE CASEY AND BART WAVED TO PEOPLE. If anyone knows of any videos or articles explaining how they did things with the car, please let me know because I can't find anything and I would love to know how they did it! You couldn't see anything holding the car, and i'm so confused! The effects were so good.

• Love how, when the show ended, the giant screen on the stage just said, "Make like a tree and get outta here."

...I think those are all my thoughts. I was planning to write up a post with just a couple of bullet points of highlights and instead. Well. This is what you get from me, and if you've followed my blog for any length of time, you know that. But really, the show was so well done. I had a blast. I bought a pin that says, "Whoa, this is heavy" and I'm going to put it on my denim jacket :)

For those who are planning to see the musical, I hope this helps hype you up for it. And for those who can't see it, I hope this gives you a good look at what it's like!

[alix-in-july]

if Richelle Mead went to a single Orthodox liturgy before writing Vampire Academy I will cook and eat an entire soup pot of borscht. She lives near Seattle. I used to live in Tacoma and there is a Russian cathedral in Seattle. How hard would it have been to visit a few times and talk to the priest? IMO it is extremely obvious that Richelle read a Wikipedia page on Orthodoxy, looked at a few pictures of Orthodox churches, and that's it. At best. Which is embarrassing because she has a degree in Comparative Religion.

Where's the incense? The chanting? The candle stands? All we get are people sitting in pews (most Russian churches don't even have pews!) and the priest rambling about St Vladimir. The priest doesn't even get a name until Book 3. If you're going to make this part of your book, at least put in some effort. I bet she thinks communion is a wafer.

Things get slightly better later in the series when Rose is in Russia. There's incense and chanting, at least. But the funeral scene is completely inaccurate (outdoors??? People shaking the priest's hand???). If there's no body, you would have a memorial service with koliva. It would certainly not be in someone's backyard. Then they go to Easter (Orthodox Christians usually call it Pascha) in the morning (it's a 3 hour midnight service...). Again there are pews. Diaspora churches might have pews, especially if the church building was bought from Catholics or Protestants, but in Russia there are No Pews In Church. A few benches for those who really need them and that's it. No one is wearing a headscarf and Rose wears pants. Unless it's a tourist attraction, a headscarf and skirt are pretty much required at churches in Russia. Russia is also a lot more formal when it comes to clothes and wearing jeans to a formal event would be seen as extremely disrespectful. Someone would have given her a skirt and scarf to borrow, not just a nicer shirt. And she talks about the services being in Russian. They should be in Old Church Slavonic and someone who is culturally Orthodox (Rose calls herself an Orthodox agnostic) would know this so IMO you can't just pass it off as Rose not knowing the difference.

ACTUALLY headscarves are a somewhat contentious topic in the Orthodox Church diaspora so Richelle could really have worked that in if she bothered to do the research. Have Rose be so pissed off about having to wear one. Have her tell Kirova that she shouldn't have to because the Orthodox women in Turkey don't and her dad is Turkish. Have Lissa bring an extra one because Rose keeps forgetting/refusing. Have Mia wear an obnoxiously ornate one that defeats the entire purpose.

Most of these things could have been easily looked up but the author clearly just decided that Orthodoxy is the same as western churches but with a different aesthetic. I'm astounded she managed to get the whole ghost conversation with the priest right. How do you manage to properly ELI5 the Orthodox Church's view on life after death and ghosts while getting everything else completely wrong? Amazing.

I don't think the church aspect really added anything to the plot and she could easily have made St Vladimir some kind of folk hero instead. Lissa is supposedly religious but doesn't actually follow any of the teachings/practices. (She has premarital sex in the church!!!) All the other main characters except Dimitri either don't mention religion or think it's stupid. So I don't really see the point of this unless it's to make things "more Slavic." In which case... I've been to Russia twice. Once to study abroad and once for a summer teaching program. Most people don't go to church. 12% of Russians attend church monthly and 6% weekly. The ones who attend weekly probably aren't getting it on in the church and go to confession, fast at least a little, etc. (How do you fast from animal products for Lent if you are a vampire?) None of which is mentioned. If you want to make Slavic culture an important part of your story, there is so much more than just Slavic names and church.

Also the Orthodox position on vampires is that they are corpses possessed by demons sooo...

Here's my go-to borscht recipe as a reward for putting up with my rant. My high school Russian teacher threw a party every year for her students and I would help her make the borscht. It's not as complicated as it looks! Feel free to sub vegetable stock to make it vegetarian. Some recipes add shredded cabbage.

https://natashaskitchen.com/classic-russian-borscht-recipe/

[monin1ca]

HIII im new here and so far im enjoying ALL of your works like theyre such masterpieces LITERALLY

Could I get a Yoru ff with like a new agent japanese fem reader who uses a katana and like is super cool? 😭 Like theyre on a mission tgh and everyone is just starstruck by like reader doing fucking parkour jumping around and just slicing everyone?

So the mission is like on Icebox and Yoru decides to head to reader to compliment her but notices her freezing to death so he lends her his jacket while trying to keep his cool while blushing?

Aaa this is like two in one request im so sorry 😭😭

Also I saw abt your midterms so plz dont stress I can wait, either way id be so godamn grateful if you did this😭

Word count: 410

Warnings: nothing, just fluff and the reader being cool, f!reader x Yoru

Sypnosis: “Wow… She took a knife to a gunfight….” 

“Wow… She took a knife to a gunfight….” Harbor whispers to Astra, who laughs wholeheartedly. “Ay yeah, don’t mind her! If she can fight, let ‘er!” The controller nudges her comrade; Yoru hears this and chuckles as well. He looks as you sheathe your katana from the cover, the silver weapon letting out a small whine, indicating its sharpness. ‘She takes care of her weapon well.’ The male hums, yes- He collects knives, which are pretty different from katanas, but the idea is kind of the same.

Brimstone gives the go signal and with the command, the rift walker watches you take off quickly from the scene. “Two enemies spotted mid,” Sova said, swiftly maneuvering your body; you push your feet off to position yourself to go to the mentioned place. “Huh, better not get left behind.” The duelist chuckles; teleporting to his gatecrash, he quickly takes out two enemies. “Leaving the rest to you, little miss samurai.” He hums, sitting in a place above to watch the show.

The splatter of blood and fallen groans were heard from the scene, awed stares bearing into you. You weren’t used to this attention. Sudden gunshots were fired, barely missing you; you jumped onto the left side of the big cargo boxes, doing a backflip in the process. Your trajectory was headed for the enemy Killjoy, who was in the process of putting a turret. You sheathed your katana and in an instant, her head went rolling on the floor. Flicking your katana, a soft thwack was caused by the blood splatter.

Clap, clap, clap.

“That was astounding.” Yoru compliments, “... Thanks.” You huffed in response, shivering from the cold. It was only now you felt the cold when the adrenaline ran out, “Here.” The latter shoves his blue jacket in front of you, his face red from embaressment. “Thank you, again…” “No problem.” The male waves dismissive as he walks away, you stared at Yoru’s form. It was only now you noticed he had quite a sleeper build. It was hard to notice all the muscles when he was always slouching and wearing his slightly oversized jacket.

Huh… Maybe, you’ll get to know this guy better.

Author’s note: HEY IM BACK AGAIN HELP ME ADKLAGHSDLKJAHSDLJKAS WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG HUHUHUUU HHOPE I DELIVERED!!<33