#the word looking for is reborn/reincarnation
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"Newly rescurrected sons" ...Who let the MCU stan on the Marvel twitter account to say that about the comics because that's gonna likely be the MCU's take, not what happened in the comics where instead the twin's were made using lost souls via Wanda's reality-altering powers, Mephisto reclaimed the lost souls but because of Wanda's magic transfiguring the two lost souls, they destroyed him and dispersed, being reborn as Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepard to their respective parents, Jeff and Rebbecca Kaplan and Frank and Mary Shepard.
#anti mcu#mcu critical#the word looking for is reborn/reincarnation#not recurrected because implies they were real and died in order to come back#when in reality they were lost souls the whole time who due to wandas magic and reincarnation became who they did#granted i dont think mcu wants to acknowledge these two have their own parents in comics#because billys parents are jewish and as we know billy is already being played by an actor who isnt jewish so
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Well, I did say this was a multi-fandom blog... Alright, let's do this.
The Qing Jing Peak Lord's Bamboo House
(and the symbolism therein, as recorded in the donghua)
I was snooping through the establishing shots of the Qing Jing Peak Lord's Bamboo House, and had to laugh as I always do at all the gay symbolism that managed to sneak its way inside. But then I looked a little closer, and was floored by just how much passive storytelling was packed into background assets. I talked about it at length over discord, and at the urging of others decided to make a shareable post on social media as well.
First, the shots which first piqued my interest in this topic years ago:
Shen Yuan transmigrates into the stallion-genre webnovel entitled 狂傲仙魔途 (translated as Proud Immortal Demon Way). The author's and his own usernames are dick jokes.
Notice the chrysanthemum vase, the cock vase, and the stallion statuette.
The stallion and cock are obvious nods to these jokes on their own, but for the uninitiated, the chrysanthemum is a symbol of gay sex between men, as the asshole itself is often euphemistically referred to as a chrysanthemum. This should have been Shen Yuan's first clue that not all is as it seems here! These are the personal quarters of Shen Jiu — the original Shen Qingqiu!
But let's move to the main room you first walk into upon entering the bamboo house.
There it is: the writing on the wall.
As the Peak Lord of strategy and the scholarly arts, Shen Qingqiu would naturally have calligraphy and paintings hanging everywhere! So let's break it down.
On the top we have 道㳒自然 ("Dao Follows Nature"), which comes from a Dao teaching by Laozi (founder of Daoism) meaning that life, death, the entire universe, the heavens and earth and everything outside and inbetween, all follow a set of laws referred to as the nature of things. Although unrelated to the Buddhist couplet below, it's certainly relevant!
Originally hanging in right-to-left order, I've arranged them to read left to right here to make things easier to keep track of. The calligraphy reads 西方竹葉千年翠;南海蓮九品香 and is a couplet commonly found in Guanyin temples. My classical chinese is not as strong as I'd like, but this translates roughly to "The bamboo leaves in Paradise are green for a thousand years / The fragrance of lotus flowers in the South China Sea is as thick as 9 sticks of incense."
The character 西 for West is used to denote the destination of enlightenment/purity: the buddhist Paradise (think Journey to the West). The South China Sea is where Guanyin was born. Upon the Lotus flowers is where Guanyin is commonly depicted as sitting. The "9 sticks of incense" though literal can also refer to the 9 tiers/grades of reincarnation lotuses with the 9th tier being the lowest, meant for those who in life committed the most evil of crimes — the 4 parajikas — and who can only manage a sincere Amitabha recitation 10 times and no more than this.
To put this in context with Shen Jiu (the same jiu as in 9/九), the 4 parajikas committed by the 9th Tier Lotuses Reborn (officially entitled the Lowest of the Low) are:
Sexual Intercourse
Stealing
Murder
Claiming attainments of stages of pure mental concentration that have not been achieved (in other words, rushing or lying about your cultivation/enlightenment, or maybe even becoming a Peak Lord without having formed a golden core beforehand).
From what we know in the context of the novel, Shen Jiu is innocent of at least the first of this parajikas, but the overall view of Shen Jiu in the eyes of others in the story is that he is guilty of them all. This calligraphy can be seen as a condemnation or a reminder for the character Shen Jiu, who even as the Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu is widely thought of as a scum villain and the lowest of the low.
Phew! That's a lot to unpack.
But if you turn your gaze to the original screenshot, you'll see to the right that there's a vase painted with a blue bird. This vase appears in several rooms of the bamboo house, and seems to be the image of a qingniao (��鸟; lit: Qing bird, wherein 青 can mean blue/green/clear-but-brackish black).
These qing-coloured birds are messengers and foragers of the Goddess-Mother of Paradise (Xiwang-mu 西王母, the "west/paradise" character from before, lit West-King(unisex)-Mother). They're a highly intelligent species who are exceptional in song (a good representative for Qing Jing's scholarly arts and pursuit of qin!), and the older ones might learn to speak human tongue. As a subspecies of luanniao (鸾鸟 lit: luan bird), they're thought to be related to The Phoenix and indeed thought to be the lifetime/samsara just before being reborn as a Phoenix.
If given to a "master" they don't like, the qingniao may refuse to pass messages or sing until they're set free, but if they do get along with you then they're loyal to the end.
As a point of interest, the Qing generation of Peak Lords uses the character 清, which is 青 ("colour of nature; brackish black, blue, green; young) + the radical for "water," resulting in the meaning of clear (as in water or heart; see-through); distinct; quiet (as in still); just and honest; pure; to settle or clear up; to clean up, expunge, or purge.
And as a bit of trivia, Liu Qingge's sword Cheng Luan 乘鸾 means "to ride the luan, take flight on the back of a luan." (Relevant, because the qingniao is considered a subspecies of luanniao).
With the Lords of both Qing Jing and Bai Zhan referencing this bird, I really wonder about its significance! It's spawning plenty of theories and headcanons for me.
Heading back outside for a moment, you'll find that in the Quiet Pool (清静小池 qingjing xiaochi (yes, the same Qing Jing the peak is named for)), there are lotuses, and on land there are flower shrubs which are either wide-petaled chrysanthemums (gay bottom jokes ahoy), or a type of peony, the king of flowers demarcating wealth and prosperity. Either way, a blossom fitting of our Qing Jing Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu!
My one regret is that I cannot get a clear shot of the fan hanging on the wall to try and translate the calligraphy on it. If anyone can snag one, please tag me! I also couldn't translate the paintings with poems hanging in Shen Qingqiu's bedroom (it's just too small and blurry for my bad eyes to make out). If I make another post attempting these things, I'll append them to this initial post in an edit afterwards.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#liu qingge#i started writing this at 3am#and now it's 8am#what am i doing with my life#who have i become#qing jing peak
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“Stay with me, milaya”
➵Pairing: fyodor x afab! reader
➵Summary: fyodor searches for you across countless lifetimes, witnessing you die in his arms again and again. Yet, fate continuously brings you both back together with each of your rebirths.
➵Tags and word count: 5.3k words. sfw, angst to comfort, slight fluff, hallucinations, vivid memories, delusions, shifting scenes, mental health struggles, dissociation.
➵want to read more of fyodor ?
"There is a cruel irony in the fact that you are bound to return to this world, only to be torn away from it time and again. Seven lifetimes, each one a fleeting moment in the endless passage of time. But even as you are reborn, your fate is always the same—a life cut short, a soul never allowed to rest."
The sky is a deep, unforgiving gray, the snow falling gently around him. He stands alone in the desolate landscape, a faint figure against the blanket of white. His breath is visible in the frigid air as he stares down at the burnt-out edges of an old photograph clutched between his slender fingers. The image, though charred, still reveals traces of a face—your face, the one he’s sought in every life.
"Milaya... even now, your features begin to fade from memory, like everything else in this world. But I will not allow time to erase you completely—not when I am so close to finding you again."
His whispers drift on the wind, barely audible but there is an unwavering resolve in his eyes. He carefully traces the faint outlines of your face with his thumb, trying to capture every detail, every curve, every hint of the life that once was. Yet, he knows the futility of it—each reincarnation is a shift in memory, altering your essence just enough to make you a stranger once more.
"This time, my dear," he murmurs to himself, "I will not let you slip through my fingers. I have searched for you across centuries, manipulated the lives of others, all to find you. I will not be denied, not by destiny, not by anything."
Fyodor tucks the burnt photograph back into his coat, his expression stoic as he surveys the snow-covered ground. He is nonchalant, almost detached, but beneath the surface lies a storm—a desperation that he cannot fully suppress.
He begins to walk, the snow crunching beneath his boots as he heads toward the place where he knows you must be. His heart, though often cold, beats a little faster at the thought of seeing you again, of hearing your voice, even if you do not remember him. But he is nothing if not persistent. He will make you remember, one way or another.
Yet there you are, gazing at the sky above you as it transforms into a canvas of burnt orange and fading blue, cinnabar streaks bleeding through the clouds like a watercolor painting. Your thoughts drifted back to a time you thought you'd forgotten—a memory of the day you first met him. It felt distant now, yet the details were so vivid.
He had been unlike anyone you'd ever known. some how he stood out in ways most people didn’t. His features were strikingly beautiful, but it wasn’t just his looks that caught your attention—it was the quiet mystery that followed him wherever he went. His pale skin, almost alabaster, contrasted sharply with his dark clothing, and his eyes—those glowing, enigmatic violet eyes—held depths you couldn’t quite reach. There was often a flicker of pain in them, so subtle it disappeared as soon as it surfaced, leaving you to wonder if you had imagined it.
Which makes total sense. His father 'Mikhail Dostoevsky' was well-known for his austere and viciousness—well after he was granted a nobleman's rank of course— contrariwise, Fyodor was something of a benevolent despot.
The gardens of the palace stretched out before you, a haven full of flowering fragrances, nooks, and crannies of sheer delight.
You caught sight of him standing beneath the glow of the moon, his posture composed as he conversed with his elder sibling. The moonlight cast a soft halo around his figure, making him appear almost ethereal. He seemed unbothered by the festivities around him, his attention focused solely on the conversation. Even in this elegant setting, he exuded a calm detachment, as though the world itself was just an intricate game he was patiently observing.
The path before you was lined with gravel, your footsteps muted by the soft crunch beneath your heels as you made your way through the evening’s parade of guests.
Delicate fairy lights hung in the trees, casting vibrant hues that danced across the faces of those gathered. There was laughter, the clink of glasses, and the hum of casual conversation, but your attention never wavered from him.
As if sensing your gaze, Fyodor glanced your way. His eyes met yours across the distance, and for a moment, everything else fell away—the lights, the music, the crowd. There was something paranormal in the way he looked at you. His lips curved ever so slightly into a familiar smile, one that seemed to say he had already anticipated your approach long before you had made up your mind.
Without thinking, you moved toward him. The space between you disappeared as you stepped into his world, where time seemed to slow. He turned to face you fully, his elder sibling excusing themselves from the conversation as you approached.
“Good evening,” his voice was smooth, a touch of amusement hidden in the depths. “I was wondering when you’d come.”
You hesitated, momentarily taken aback. “You knew?”
“Of course,” he replied, his gaze never leaving yours. “You’ve been watching me for some time now.”
His words made your heart skip, but you steadied yourself. There was always something about him that made you feel as though you were always a step behind, as though he had already calculated every move before you even realized it.
“I couldn’t help but notice,” you said, finding your voice again. “You stand out, even in a crowd like this.”
His smile widened, but it never quite reached his eyes. “Perhaps, but it’s not the crowd I’m interested in.”
There it was again—that flicker of something deeper, something unreadable. You could sense the burden he carried, a burden of his past, his family’s legacy, and the expectations placed upon him. But beneath all of that, there was something else, something that drew you in even as it warned you to stay away.
“Shall we walk?” he offered, extending his arm toward the gardens.
You nodded, slipping your hand into the crook of his arm as you both began to stroll along the moonlit path. The evening air was cool, and the soft glow of the fairy lights seemed to follow your every step.
“What do you think of all this?” you asked, gesturing to the grand event taking place around you, the celebration, the laughter, the excess.
He looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. “It’s fleeting. Moments like these… they’re beautiful, yes. But they fade, just like everything else.”
“But not everything fades,” you ventured softly.
He stopped, turning to face you fully once more. His eyes seemed to pierce through you, reading your thoughts before you could speak them. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, but the way he just stood there gazing at you said everything.
“Perhaps,” he finally murmurs, his voice low, “but that’s what makes it dangerous, am I right?”
You weren’t sure if he was talking about the night, about the fleeting beauty of the moment, or about something else entirely. But in that instant, you realized that with Fyodor, nothing was ever simple. He was a puzzle, a mystery, one that you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to solve, but one that you found yourself wanting to.
As you walked beside him, the moonlit scenery unfolding before you, his appreciation for beauty became evident. He had always been drawn to those who possessed a rare allure, and tonight, it was clear that you were his focal point. You were a vision of rare beauty, a one-of-a-kind presence in a world of fleeting appearances.
The scene before you blurs, in an instant, it felt as though time had slowed, and a piercing ringing filled your ears, making you gasp, overwhelmed by the sudden influx of memories.
“He sent you, didn’t he?” he murmured as he tilted your chin to meet his gaze.
Wait.. when did you get here? Where do these memories come from, and why do they haunt you so persistently?
“I’m just following orders,” you replied slowly, bringing your eyebrows together in a slight frown.
“Stay away from this,” he imploded, sighing. “Please, lyubov.” He places a tender kiss on your forehead.
“But fedya...why now? We’re on the brink of ending your father’s relentless corruption,” you argued. “Why give up now?”
But you knew... you know he wants to protect you from the malignant influences of his father’s world. Yet, the very opportunity to dismantle the chains binding him to this sinister system was slipping away. His father’s grip was a malignancy that threatened to stifle all hope.
“Close but no cigar,” he murmured, his chin resting on your head as he inhales your fresh scent.
But he was right. You should've stayed away from those morons ages ago. You made a mistake and paid dearly for it.
In that moment, the same familiar searing ringing in your ears swept across you, pulling you from the depths of your reverie.. it's happening again.
"Fuck, I am such an imbecile." blood spilled from your abdomen, splattering across your trembling hands as you pulled the dagger free. Your back pressed against the cold, damp wall, every inch of movement sending sharp, jagged pain rippling through your body. And slowly but surely, all you can see is the orange sky getting fuzzier and fuzzier as the pain intensifies.
You reached out with a shaking hand, desperately trying to anchor yourself to something, anything, but your limbs refused to obey. Instead of crying out for help, all that escaped your lips is the metallic taste of blood.
“Ah...fuck, not now…” you gasped, the light behind the man standing in the distance, widened with each passing moment. Is this it? Is this how it all ends for you?
You blink, once, twice, trying to focus as everything around you darkens, and just as quickly as you are pulled into this chain of nightmares, you find yourself back in the present as the persistent ringing stops.
Gasping, you sit at your desk, drenched in cold sweat. Your fingers instinctively press against your abdomen, but there’s no blood. No wound. The dagger, the pain, it’s all gone, as if it never existed.
You press harder against your stomach, feeling for any injury, but your skin remains unscathed.
"I need a mirror," you mutter, voice trembling as you push away from the desk and hurry toward the mirror in the entrance. Your reflection stares back at you, eyes wide with panic, face pale, but undeniably yours.
“It’s me,” you whisper in relief, leaning closer, bracing yourself against the cool surface. You reach for the pill bottle on the nearby shelf, your fingers fumbling with the cap as you swallow a dose, desperate to calm the storm inside your mind.
You sit back at your desk again, hands still shaking as you breathe deeply. "It’s fine. I'm okay. It’s all delusions," you whisper, trying to convince yourself.
But you somehow memorise all of these memories like the back of my hand. You call them memories, despite knowing you never actually lived through them, yet they always feel so incredibly real.
They never really leave, do they?
Even now, the phantom ache in your abdomen remains, a cruel reminder of something you’ve never lived through but can feel so vividly. The sky outside your window returns to its soft twilight hues, but you can’t shake the feeling that reality itself unravels around you. Each time you are pulled into those visions, it becomes harder to tell what is real and what is imagined.
While you're sitting there, managing to steady your breath, you wonder—how much longer can you hold on to what’s real when your mind keeps dragging you into a world that feels just as tangible?
You exhale a long, relieved sigh finally calming down as you try to regain your focus. What were you doing again? Ah, yes... finishing your new book.
You type the final words of the epilogue, fingers hovering above the keyboard for just a second longer. The ending comes together, but still, something doesn’t sit right with you... the title. The book is finished, but how can it be complete without the right name? You lean back in your chair, stretching your arms above your head, eyes scanning the screen with tired satisfaction.
You aren’t just any writer, though. Hidden behind your pen name, you’ve become a literary sensation, with fans desperate for even a glimpse of who you really are. But anonymity suits you; fame has never been the goal. The words are the only thing that matter, and the world you’ve built between the pages feels more real than anything else—maybe too real?
Despite finishing the epilogue, something feels unresolved. Titles usually come easily to you, but this one, this book demands something special. Inspiration eludes you. You need a change of scenery... somewhere that can kickstart the creative process again.
With a resigned sigh, you dress quickly, grab your notebook, and head to one of the few places that has become your sanctuary when ideas won’t come: your favourite café.
The café sits nestled on a quiet street, its warm glow inviting you in like your old home. There’s something about the atmosphere, the soft hum of conversation usuallybetween elder people, the scent of freshly brewed coffee, the soft clink of cups against saucers—that always seems to loosen the knots in your mind. You order your usual, find a quiet table in the corner, and set your notebook down, flipping it open to a fresh page.
"The War of Sakura," you scribble, only to strike it out immediately. "No, no, that’s terrible!! Ugh," you mutter to yourself, tapping the pen against your lips in frustration.
You take a sip of your coffee, leaning back in your seat as you stare out the window, hoping for some stroke of genius. Come on, Kurasu Café, work your magic. But the more you stare at the page, the more the words seem to evade you.
You’re so lost in thought that you don’t notice someone sitting down across from you until you catch movement in your peripheral vision. Startled, you blink and look up, eyes widening as they land on the man before you.
It’s him.
For a moment, you’re convinced your mind is playing tricks on you again. The man in front of you has the same striking features, the same quiet mystery, the same piercing gaze that seems to see right through you.
The same man from your memories—the one you’re certain is nothing more than a figment of your imagination, or perhaps a character you’ve written into being.
But no. He’s here, in the flesh, sitting across from you in Kurasu Café.
Your heart skips a beat, and you quickly blink, half-expecting him to disappear like a mirage. But he doesn’t. He just sits there, watching you with an amused glint in his eyes, as though he can read every thought running through your mind.
“Excuse me…?”
He tilts his head slightly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “You looked like you could use some company,” he says with the same silky smooth voice."You seemed… preoccupied."
You stare at him, dumbfounded, still trying to reconcile the fact that he’s real. The man in front of you is every bit as captivating as the one from your memories, as though he’s stepped right out of the story you’ve been crafting in your mind.
“I—uh,” you stammer, your fingers tightening around your pen as though it can somehow anchor you to reality. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
His smile deepens the same one that doesn’t reach his eyes. “No,” he says simply,“but I know you.”
Your heart stops beating for a second. You open your mouth to respond, but no words come. How can he know you? And why does it feel like he’s not just referring to surface-level details of your life, but something deeper, something far more intimate?
You glance at your notebook, half-expecting to see the story you’ve just finished reflected back at you, as though it’s somehow come to life.
He leans forward slightly, folding his hands on the table between you. “You’re searching for something, right?”
You narrow your eyes, “And what makes you think that?”
He shrugs, a graceful gesture that seems too perfect, too practiced. “I can always read your eyes, my dear” he replies. “You’re chasing after a truth that eludes you.”
Your breath catches in your throat. There’s something about the way he speaks, the way he seems to know things about you that you haven’t even told yourself. You should feel unnerved, but instead, you feel drawn to him—just like in those memories, you can’t escape.
“Who are you?” you finally ask, hoping it's not one of your delusions playing tricks on you.
His smile softens, but there’s something unreadable in his gaze, it's the same flicker of pain that's so fleeting you almost miss it. He stands smoothly as he places a card on the table.
“Call me when you’re ready to stop running from your life,” he says, turning to leave.
You watch him go, your mind racing as you stare at the card he’s left behind. No name. No details. Just a single word, embossed in gold.
"Remember."
The café around you blurs, the noise fading into the background as you stare at the word on the card, your mind spinning with questions you can’t answer.
And in that moment, you know—this isn’t over. The story isn’t finished. Not by a long shot.
It's now 1:25 am as you sit at your desk, the dim light of the lamp doing little to coax you into sleep. Your eyes fixate on the card that lies on the desk, the single word "Remember" still taunting you. It feels surreal, like the whole encounter earlier today had slipped from reality into something else entirely. Your fingers brush over the card, tracing the embossed letters, as your mind races to make sense of what happened.
Should you call him?
You hesitate, holding the card between your fingers. Who was he? Could he really know you, or was he just one of your creepy fans, trying to unnerve you by dressing up like the protagonist of your story? You’ve heard of fanatics going to great lengths to mimic characters, but this felt different. Something about the encounter stayed with you, gnawing at the back of your mind.
You shake your head, trying to dismiss it. Maybe it was just an elaborate prank, you think. Maybe he was just trying to scare you. Or worse, trying to manipulate you into thinking your own creations are coming to life.
But even as you try to convince yourself, it doesn’t sit right. No fan, no matter how obsessed, could have pulled off what you experienced earlier. The way he looked at you, as if he had known you forever, made your skin prickle. His words had hit too close to home, and the feeling that he understood something about you—something you barely understood yourself—makes it impossible to shake off the encounter.
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart as you finally make up your mind. Your fingers hover over your phone, the screen glowing faintly in the dark room. You type in the number from the card, each digit sending a shiver of doubt through your body.
Placing the phone to your ear, you close your eyes as the ringing begins. Once. Twice. Your heart pounds in your chest, every nerve alive with anticipation. What if he answers? What if he doesn’t?
What if he answers? What if he doesn’t?
Just as the ringing starts to stretch into a third tone, there’s a faint click. You hold your breath.
“Hello?”
His voice is calm, like the same smooth, familiar tone from the café.
You pause, unsure of what to say, gripping the phone tighter. “It’s me,” you finally manage to say.
He chuckles softly, as though he expected your call all along. “Ahh my dear...I was wondering when you’d call,” he says, his voice oh god his voice is so soft. “Did you figure it out yet?”
Your heart races. “Figure what out? What’s going on?” you ask confused. “Who are you?”
There’s a long pause on the other end, and for a moment, you wonder if he’ll answer at all. Then, finally, he speaks, his voice low and steady. “You already know who I am,” he says. “You’ve always known, milaya.”
Your breath catches in your throat. The room seems to close in around you, the silence pressing down as you try to piece together the meaning behind his words. You want to argue, to demand answers, but something stops you. It’s as though the truth is right there, just beyond your reach, but you’re too afraid to grasp it.
He continues, his voice softer now, almost intimate. “There are no coincidences. I didn’t come to you by chance. I came to you because we both have known each other for way too long.”
Your head spins. What does that even mean? You glance at your manuscript, the story that had felt so real, so vivid—too vivid. The lines between fiction and reality begin to blur, and the more you think about it, the harder it becomes to separate the two.
“What do you mean we know each other?” You whisper, voice trembling.
On the other end, he chuckles softly, a sound that’s too familiar, as if you've heard it a thousand times before in some forgotten dream. The sound pulls you out of your racing thoughts and back into the moment, grounding you in an unsettling way.
"You’ll understand soon," his voice is calm, though it does nothing to ease the knot forming in your chest.
Before you can protest or demand more answers, he continues, "I’ll come to your place, darling. We can talk then."
Panic flares inside you. Your eyes widen as you shoot up from your chair, nearly knocking it over in the process. “What? How do you—” you begin to ask, but before you can finish, his voice cuts through.
“I know where you live,” he says simply, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Your breath catches. “What… are you a stalker or something?” The question tumbles out, half-accusation, half-fear.
But his response is immediate, eerily calm, “No,” he says. “I’m no stalker. I know because no matter how many things change, no matter how the world twists and turns… the place you live, it always remains the same.”
Your heart races, your mind scrambling to process his words. The place you live… always the same? How could he know that? Why does it feel like he’s speaking of something far deeper than just the physical space around you?
“Please, my dear don’t worry about the details right now,” he interrupts your thoughts. “Just know that I’ll be there soon. And when I arrive, we can talk more about what’s really going on.”
The line goes dead before you can respond. You stare at the phone in disbelief the world around you seems to tilt on its axis, and the comforting normalcy of your room suddenly feels alien. You sit in silence, the unanswered questions swirling in your mind as you hear a soft knock on your door.
You rise from your chair with trembling hands, each step towards the door feeling heavier than the last. When you open it, he stands there—just as enigmatic as before, with that same stoic, detached expression.
He smiles when he sees you, and the smile feels almost out of place with his otherwise stoic demeanor. In his hand, he holds a bouquet of red roses. “Good evening, Malyshka,” he says smoothly. “I thought these might brighten your night.”
Confusion knots in your stomach, but you take the bouquet from him, stepping aside to let him in. The roses are fresh, their scent a heady mix of sweetness and subtle spice. “Thank you,” you manage to say, “Please, come in.”
He moves past you slowly, navigating the living room with the familiarity of someone who’s been there more than a few times.
“I didn’t expect you to show up so soon,” you say, trying to steady your voice. “How did you find my place so quickly?”
He turns to face you, his eyes meeting yours with that familiar look. “As I mentioned earlier, some things remain constant, no matter how much else changes. I’ve always known where to find you.”
“And what exactly do you want from me?” you ask, struggling to keep your voice steady.
He sits on your couch, smiling softly “I want to help you understand the connection we've always shared,” he says. “There’s much to discuss, and I believe it’s time we begin.”
You nod, slightly anxious of what he's about to reveal, “Alright. I’m listening.”
He relaxes his posture, his eyes never leaving yours. “Let’s start with the basics,” he begins. “You’ve been searching for answers, and I’m here to provide them. But first, you need to accept that the boundaries between a life and another are not as rigid as they seem.”
With a deep breath, you take a seat across from him silently waiting for him to continue.
“This is probably the sixth time I’ve been through this,” he continues. “my dear...you have an ability—one that makes you reincarnate. It happens every seven lifetimes, and this one is the seventh and final life.”
You stare at him, your mind struggling to grasp the enormity of his words. “Reincarnation?” you echo, incredulous.
He nods, “Yes. I’ve witnessed you die in my arms time and again. Each time, you lose your memories, and I find you again. No matter how many lifetimes pass, I have always been there. In every life, I have been your one and only—your husband.”
Your breath catches in your throat as he speaks. “But… but how? I’ve been experiencing delusions lately, slowly disconnecting from reality. I- I even went to a therapist, thinking I was going insane, but…”
“But what?” he prompts gently.
“But now I’m starting to think those memories were real,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “I thought maybe the writing affected me, that I was imagining things. But if what you’re saying is true… I’ve been recalling memories from past lives?”
He nods, his gaze compassionate yet firm. “Those fragments were memories from your past lives. The feelings of detachment, the disconnection from reality—it’s all part of your ability’s process. Each lifetime, you’ve struggled with this, but you’ve always managed to find your way back to me.”
You sit back, feeling overwhelmed. “So, all this time, I’ve been recalling memories from past lives? And that’s why I felt so disconnected and unsettled?”
“Yes,” he confirms. “It’s why you’ve felt like something was missing, even when everything else seemed to be in place. Your soul remembers our connection, but the details slip away with each new life.”
Your eyes search his face, trying to find the truth in his words. “Are..are you immortal?”
He sighs softly, a look of resignation crossing his face. “Something like that,” he admits. “I’m not exactly immortal, but I endure through each lifetime. It’s not without its own pain.”
He stands and moves closer, his hands gently cupping your face. His touch so tender making your heart flatter subconsciously leaning into it, his eyes filled with profound...it's heartbreaking. “You have no idea how much I miss you, milaya,” he says quietly. “How much it hurts me to see you slip away from my arms each time. Every time, you’re taken from me by an ability user. The first time, it was my cruel father who killed you. The second time, it was an assassin with an ability. And so it went, one after another.”
His voice cracks slightly as he continues, “But this time? I will never let you go, moya lyubov. I won’t let anything take you from me again.”
Slowly, he leans in, and you find yourself lost in his half-lidded amethyst gaze, the slight glance of pain in his eyes is now gone. You brush a strand of his slightly long hair behind his ear, your knuckles grazing his cheekbones.
"Milaya," he whispers, closing the distance between you, his cold lips gently brush against yours, The moment your lips touch, a warm, relaxing spark ignites deep within you, spreading a soothing glow through your entire body. It’s a kiss that feels like coming home, like finding the missing piece of your heart.
Your body reacts instinctively. You wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. He lifts you gently, your feet barely touching the ground, as he holds you close. His hands rest on your waist, massaging circles onto your skin under your shirt as his kisses start to get sloppier with a sweet, heartfelt heat. It’s as if he’s trying to savor every moment, every touch, to make up for all the years apart.
He gently pulls away, his breath mingling with yours as he murmurs, “You should get some rest, darling,” His words are a tender reminder, and his touch lingers as he softly caresses your cheeks, jaw and chin.
You keep your arms wrapped around his neck, “Please don't leave.”
The Russian man, ever devoted, cannot bear the thought of leaving your side now that you are once again in his arms. With a serene nod and a tender, otherworldly smile, he whispers,
"I will forever be by your side, moya milaya."
A/N: I know this isn’t my best work—I've been dealing with writer’s block lately, especially after spending the last few days working on Kinktober fics. Apologies if any part feels rushed. I also made sure to use past tense for the memories and present tense for the current events, in case you noticed that. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this!
#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor x reader#bsd fyodor#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#bsd x you#bsd angst#fyodor angst#fyodor fluff#fyodor x y/n#fyodor x you#fyodor bungou stray dogs#fyodor bsd#fyodor dostoyevsky x reader#fedya dolokhov#bsd#bungo stray dogs x reader#dpdr#depersonalisation and derealisation
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i'll dry the villain's tears pt.1
you get reincarnated into a role that became the breaking point of the villain's story and you, be it an unwillingness to cause them harm or a desire to survive, must work hard to make sure they grow into a better (or at least safer) person.
all entries are meant to be read as platonic. All are meant to be taken place in the TWST universe accurate to the game.
When you awaken one morning, you find yourself nursing the worst headache of your life. Your eyes refuse to open as you hear a door open and the sound of shuffling footsteps. You quietly will whoever entered your room to leave but you can't even bring yourself to speak a single word and instead, only a huff of breath escapes your lips.
You can almost feel tears build up in your eyes as you feel a blissfully cold towel be pressed against your forehead and the small fingers that accompany it. Though they shake from nerves, they know what they're doing despite how young they obviously appear to be. With what is last of your strength, you force your eyes to open and quietly watch as the young boy in front of you lowers his hands until they reach his chest, his head tucked far between his shoulders, almost as if he was frightened of you waking up.
"I'm sorry," He whispered, gray eyes nervously swaying, "I thought that - you - you were burning up and the doctor said... I know it's not perfect, but I got worried and..."
His little body hid his shakes well but his voice betrayed him. He wanted to make sure you were ok but he was worried his attempts weren't good enough. For your sake or his own, you weren't entirely sure.
"Thank you..."
He almost didn't hear your soft whisper but when he did, he seemed to bloom. With pride, with happiness, with acceptance. As if that one little sincere word was the nicest thing he's ever heard in his entire existence.
"Get some rest, Mother," the boy spoke softly, his words more firm in their affection, "I'll make sure to wake you for your dinner. As soon as Mr. Bandersnatch heard that you fell ill and, although you said you don't much care for him, he's been causing quite a fuss a.."
Everything after that was lost to you as you faded away into a deep and dreamless sleep, the only thought left on the tip of your tongue was a quiet curse.
You've been reborn as the tyrant Queen of Heart's mother.
You awaken one day with perhaps the largest bump you've ever seen placed nearly perfectly center on your forehead. You don't remember how you got it but the two princes never left your side (Falena would not stop crying and despite his claims of laughter at your expense, you can tell his brother was equally worried), only being dragged away by their tutor as soon as they let their guard down.
You looked down at the hands on your lap and clutched your fists open and closed over and over again. Gone were your long fingers and wide palms, instead you look down at the chubby hands of a child no more then six.
From what your handmaiden had told you, the three of you had been playing spelldrive together and Leona, in his eagerness to best his brother, had shot the disk perhaps a bit too strong and instead of flying in to the goal, it had changed course and struck you hard enough to knock you unconscious for the rest of the early hours of the morning.
You remembered this event. It's what led to Falena's betrothed sticking closer to him and farther from Leona. What once was a well balanced trio had become a teeter totter with Falena and her on one side and Leona alone, unable to change anything with what little weight he had to offer.
Falena's betrothed; that was you. From the story you had read, the two were deeply in love and ruled the kingdom hand in hand towards a brighter future... all while unknowingly leaving the youngest brother in the shadows, forgotten and alone and desperate. You couldn't afford for that to happen.
You don't see the two of them until late that evening. Falena looked exhausted, like the tutoring had beaten any last bit of energy he could spare and with a loud yawn, had eagerly hopped into the cot next to you on your right. Leona was slow to join but settled himself to your left, his shoulder bumping yours.
"You look ridiculous," he spoke aloud, glancing at your bruised forehead. You just gave him your most unimpressed stare you could manage.
"Aaah! They're bleeding!"
"Ahahaha!"
"Ow!! They're biting me!! Get a teacher!!"
You couldn't see anything past the arms and tails flailing around you as you reached out and clawed and bit at anything that dared get too close to you, lashing out with everything your new and tiny body would allow. Your teeth were currently sunk deep in the tail flesh of a mermaid boy, his fists digging into your hair as he tried to pull you off of him.
Blinking past the shock, you could only bite harder, unwilling to let go of your prey. Despite the danger you were posing, you couldn't remember why you were biting this hard. Why this particular mermaid? What had he done that was worthy of your bite? It all didn't matter much as you were quickly hoisted up by the back of your neck and away from the shrieking mass of children. You could taste blood and flesh between your sharp teeth and you loudly spit it out, earning an even bigger wave of a response from the students.
"This is why we can't have piranhamer with the other students!" Cried an adult, "They only cause trouble!" They looked towards the source of the problem. Away from the other children and the source of your outuburst lied cowering octomer, spluttering and crying.
"What happened?" Your teacher seethed, eyes abruptly turning to you.
"I-I," you were taken aback that no one seemed to be comforting the child who stood alone and in a fit of rage unknown to you, you kicked and clawed at the hand holding you, your tiny fists barely making them flinch "They were bullying him!! I hate it!! I'll bite them over and over until they apologize!!"
"He's weird!" One mermaid child cried, her arms crossed, "And he made us lose in our swimming game because he's so slow and f-"
The teacher quickly reaffirmed their grip on you as you lunged towards her, your jaw snapping loudly causing her to shriek and dart behind the others, her tail barely peaking out from the crowd of mer.
Two eels watched in mild curiosity as you continued gnawing on your teachers arm, one with his arms crossed and another with an almost devilish grin on his face.
"Eheheh~ I like that one, Azul! Neh neh, Jade~ We should keep the little bitey one!"
"Fufufu~"
"Snff... snff......"
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#reader insert#twisted wonderland#isekai#azul ashengrotto#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar
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i've got to put out an attempt to spread the good word of wheel of time to some of my new rings of power followers!
are you hankering for a new fantasy show to fill the void of ROP? look no further than wheel of time! it's also on amazon prime and is something of a sister-show to ROP. there are 2 seasons out currently, and season 3 is in post-production and slated to release sometime in 2025.
here's what WOT is about:
in a world that has reincarnation, rosamund pike's character who has been described as lesbian gandalf learns that an apocalyptic figure called "the dragon" who broke the world 3000 years ago has been reborn as a new person. accompanied by her platonic work-husband to whom she's psychically bonded, she narrows her search down to 5 potential candidates, a group of 20-somethings from the same little village. the group embarks on a quest to figure out which one of them is the dragon reborn, but even the ones who are not the dragon have nevertheless been chosen out by fate to have their own remarkable powers and key roles in deciding the fate of the world.
here's what makes WOT similar to ROP:
multiple-storyline ensemble show with a variety of personalities among the main characters, so you'll be sure to find Your Blorbo in somebody (and there's a pretty big variety among the fandom of who everyone's faves are, which goes to show how good ALL the characters are!)
epic fantasy that earnestly and wholeheartedly embraces its genre and the inherent whimsy and fantasticalness therein, without acting like it's embarrassed about having fantasy elements or like it considers itself too good and too prestige for the genre
it has some truly dark and harrowing stuff, but it never feels like it's gratuitous/just for shock value and never descends into cynical grimdark territory. it centers on the importance of hope and togetherness to fight against evil (tolkien was a primary inspiration for the WOT books' author robert jordan, so some of the vibes and themes are similar)
incredibly in-depth worldbuilding and world history
gorgeous costumes, sets, scenery, soundtrack, and production value. i could wax poetic about the soundtrack all day but will restrain myself and just say that it's a similar approach as ROP of specific character themes rearranged ad infinitum to suit the tone of different scenes and that it has a very unique soundscape that stands out from traditional orchestral fantasy. the costumes, especially in the second season, are some of the most unique and distinctive i've ever seen in a fantasy show, using lots of sharp/modern silhouettes to evoke a different feel from your standard medieval-inspired fantasy costumes. and vibrant colors!!!
absolutely Perfect casting across the board, with every actor from the most seasoned veterans to the newest-comers delivering wonderful performances, embodying their characters perfectly, and clearly having the time of their life making this show.
major character recast between s1 and s2 haha but like with adar, both mat actors are wonderful and it's impossible to wish one was the other while watching their respective performances.
Wholesome Boy Besties, and overall a lack of toxic masculinity and a total comfort with letting men be tender and kind and emotional (in fact, i'd say WOT does even better at this than ROP)
mesmerizing villains who run the gamut from tragic to Sexy Fun Evil to straight-up bonechilling (oftentimes multiple categories all rolled into the same villain). what if sauron was a sexy sexy lady whose top hobbies were serving cunt and gaslighting her boytoy? watch wheel of time to find out.
on that note, what would you get if you took the toxic hero/villain/villain polyeroticism of galadriel/sauron/adar, dialed it up to 11, and made it borderline canon that they used to be in a throuple that ended badly? one of the major dynamics of WOT s2, that's what.
a slower, establishing first season followed by a bombastic second season that raises the stakes, lets the villains out to play big time, and generally knocks it out of the park. so if you're on the fence while watching s1, keep going to get to the glowup!
and here's what makes WOT better than ROP:
while they both improve in their second season, imo the first season of WOT is quite a bit better than the first season of ROP (anecdotal evidence: i started both shows as a complete show-only with no prior familiarity with the source material (bar having watched the LOTR movies), and WOT had me hooked by the end of 1x01 whereas ROP i watched 2 episodes and abandoned it for 2 years before coming back for another try and successfully getting hooked)
i'd say the main reason for this is that the story of WOT s1 is fairly simple and small scale and laser-focused on just our 7 main characters who all share a single storyline together (breaking up into 3 sub-storylines for the middle portion of the season, then coming back together again), and it holds off on expanding the scale of the world & story until s2. this was much more effective at getting a newcomer like me assimilated in the world, hooked on the story, and invested in the characters than ROP starting out with a massive sprawling cast and story right off the bat and kind of overwhelming me with too much going on. WOT s1 was also very clear in establishing Here Are The Stakes And Here's Why You Should Care immediately in the pilot episode, whereas i struggled for a while with seeing what the Point of ROP was or why i should care about these characters (because there are too many of them and not enough time spent on any).
WOT is better at character depth and development, in large part because its main cast is about half the size of ROP's so there's just a lot more breathing room. like with ROP, some characters/storylines are naturally more important than others in a given season and thus everyone's prominence ebbs and flows, but unlike ROP, the characters who are in their "off-season" still get proper season-long arcs and never feel like they're getting neglected. no primary WOT character has ever been wholly absent for more than 1 episode per season (except for mat absent from 2 eps in s1 for recasting-related reasons).
following off of that, i'd say WOT is better at handling multiple storylines, because of the above point of fewer characters and also the earlier point that all the characters start together, then separate. this ensures that all the different storylines feel connected to each other, unlike ROP where there are some groups of characters that have never even met anyone else. the Found Family and Power Of Friendship themes are extremely strong in WOT, and the bonds between the core characters are unbreakable! and this makes all the storylines feel connected and cohesive even when they're taking place across the continent.
another similar point: WOT strikes a better balance between epic scale and narrative intimacy. i can't describe this any better or think of specific examples, it's just a Vibe i feel that ROP sometimes gets lost in its own scale whereas WOT always keeps us very firmly anchored in the characters and the personal stakes no matter how vast the world or conflict becomes. i might exemplify this by saying that if you enjoyed the sauron-celebrimbor scenes in s2, you'll love WOT because it is a huge proponent of "2 characters in a room talking to each other" scenes that further the larger plot while also keeping things intimate and personal and fleshing out the characters.
oh also, focal episodes! every season, WOT does 1 or 2 episodes that focus in deeply on one particular main character (different one every time) at a key point in their journey and deliver some amazing in-depth characterwork (while still furthering the story and allotting time to the other characters & storylines too). characters truly are one of the strongest aspects of WOT, both books and show, and i love that the show takes the time to give us episodes like this. it is so so good at balancing character & plot, and understanding that we won't care about the plot unless we care about the characters.
there is a HUGE cast of female characters, and a very varied cast too. the main cast is 50/50 men and women, and the supporting cast is at least 50/50 too if not majority women. in both the source material and the adaptation, women are integral to the story and so many of them are huge players that drive the narrative, rather than feeling like afterthoughts the 2020s adaptation is fruitlessly trying to cram into source material that was not designed for them as is often the case with ROP imo.
branching off of that: one of the major institutions in WOTworld is an all-woman wizard faction, complete with a lady wizard pope. this gives us things like battle scenes and political scheming that's mostly or exclusively between women. it's awesome!
edited to add: might be obvious from the point about there being a lot of women, but WOT also has lots of female friendships! and female mentorships and rivalries and romances too. just so many relationships between women, quite a contrast to nori and poppy struggling to singlehandedly make ROP pass the bechdel test.
canon queer characters and relationships. and queerness is not only present in WOTworld, it's normalized!
and finally, you'll have to wait til s2 to get her, but WOT is better because it has elayne trakand and thus is better than every show that does not have elayne trakand (can you tell who my blorbo is)
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Sister Complex| Yandere! Oshi No Ko various x reader| Chapter 3
Chapter 2
It has been four years since you got reborn as Ai's daughter.
And let us just say that life is going smoothly and easily for you.
You have a loving mother and siblings.
Well, Aqua and Ruby are kind of overprotective of you.
To the point where they chased away all of your kindergarten friends.
So, you can only be around them.
Surprisingly, Ai herself encourages them to do so.
Unfortunately for you, your siblings were sick today, they have a stomach ache.
So, you had no one to play with at kindergarten.
You were all alone.
Right now, you are waiting for your mother to come and pick you up as she promised.
But today, she is late.
Which is strange, because she always arrives on time or even early.
But, you don't mind waiting for her.
While waiting outside, you watch the kids walk home with their parents while you stand alone, looking down at your shoes.
This feels uneasy, having to wait for someone to come and pick you up.
While waiting, you don't notice someone approaching you until you feel their appearance beside you.
You turn to look at the person beside you, however when your eyes land on the familiar face.
Your heart drops to your stomach.
"Hello"
Hikaru Kamiki greets you with a smile, his eyes staring down at you, his star pupils sending shivers down your body.
"Mama told me not to talk to strangers" you stutter out in fear, clutching tightly into your backpack.
"But, I'm not a stranger, now, am I?"
Your eyes widen at his words, thinking that he knows about your reincarnation.
But, that's impossible.
"You are a stranger, I don't know who you are, sir," you say, looking ahead of you instead of him.
Hikaru chuckles and pats your head.
"You are a very intelligent child, you remind me of a dear friend of mine"
Back you could say anything, he walks away from you, leaving you in confusion.
Then you hear the familiar voice of Ai, calling for you
"I'm here now, sorry for being late!"
✨🎭✨
The next day, you stay at home, doing nothing but watching TV.
However, you didn't expect to watch your mother get attacked by the same stalker that killed you.
And when you tried to protect her, you get hit on the head sharply.
The hit was enough to make you lose consciousness.
However, the last thing you saw, is the lifeless eyes of your mother staring at you with a smile on her face.
You wake up two days later to find yourself surrounded by your siblings...
...not remember anything about your past life.
Chapter 4
Tags: @thigh-o-saur @yevenle @amanda-akedia @rxsesss @storylaa @josuke8 @bloobewy @bre99 @pokermonaora @bajifairyy @mei-eishi @aranachan @kat-kaps
#tw: toxic relationships#platonic yandere#yandere oshi no ko#aquamarine hoshino#ruby hoshino#Aquamarine Hoshino x reader#ai hoshina#Ruby Hoshino x reader#hikaru kamiki#Hikaru Kamiki x reader#reader insert#daughter reader
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Reborn in Baldur's Gate 3: Chapter 1
Plot: You’ve been reincarnated. It’s the realization you come to when the tiefling offering you a health potion introduces himself as Tav. You died and your soul revived in Baldur's Gate 3, at the beginning of the game no less. But you only have the memories of your past life on Earth, and none of your current one.
Tav invites you to join him on his journey, despite your lack of abilities or maybe because of it. You might as well go along with it; where else would you go with no memory of who you currently are, or knowledge of anything that lies outside of the narrative?
There is much to discover about your life in Baldur's Gate, and what transpires relies on the tiefling leading your group as Tav.
Word Count: 2.5K
A/N: This is very self-indulgent so there will by a lot of Gale and Astarion.
-------------------
“I’m Tav.”
He’s a tiefling, you recall. Tall and bulky with curled horns. The dark gray skin tells you he’s descended from Mephistopheles, and his simple leather gear tells you he’s a barbarian. Huh. Yeah, that makes sense, he’s Tav, the hero of the game! Or…the villain? Your head pounds as memories flood back to you—tieflings, bards, goblins, vampires—you, sitting at a computer debating which choice would garner you the most favour with your companions in…
“Baldur’s Gate,” you mumble. You slap a hand over your mouth, staying on your knees as you blink at the tiefling. At Tav. He arches his brows and kneels beside you, offering you a small vial of red liquid.
“You’re from Baldur’s Gate, too?” he asks. “Drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”
Without much thought you take the already opened vial from him and swallow it down in one small gulp. With a deep breath the pounding in your head subsides and you can think a little clearer. Maybe not clear enough to fully comprehend that you’re currently in a video game, or that there’s a small wriggling behind your left eye which means…
More images come to you, a mind flayer holding a worm with too many teeth to your eye, a githyanki—Lae’zel—pointing a sword at you, and then falling from the ship. The nautiloid. Tav’s memories of the ship.
Tav winces as the visions fade. “Guess you got one of those, too.”
A chill runs down your spine, through each and every bone of your body until the squirming thing behind your eye stops movement all together.
“I uh…” You look around at the crash area, taking in the rocks and splotches of fire dotting the land on one side and water on your left, until you meet the gaze of a raven-haired half-elf.
“This one doesn’t seem to be all there,” she says. Her voice is as smooth and condescending as you remember, and you find it endearing despite the insult.
“Give them a moment,” Tav responds over his shoulder. “It’s a lot to take in.”
Yes, especially because this is most definitely a dream. A very vivid, painful, exciting, insane dream.
“What’s your name?”
You fear all you can do is blink. You tell them your name, voice as shaky as your body. There’s a tremble in your hands that you can’t control, even with a hard grip on the now empty vial. “And thank you…for the potion.”
Tav lifts, holding a large sharp-nailed hand out to you. “Can you stand?”
You nod, taking his hand and letting him lift you to your feet. You let your hand drop to dust off your clothes, nothing that you remember wearing. The last thing you recall was going to bed in a tank top and shorts but you’re now wearing a dark blue overcoat atop loose fitting pants and a fitted shirt. The borders of the coat are stitched with gold swirls, and based on the softness of everything you wear it has to be expensive. Somehow, after everything (whatever the Hells that involved) you are quite clean. Not to mention the bag that hangs at your hip beneath your coat is quite heavy, and another bag that wraps around your waist and sits at your back has the contents clinking together when you move.
You look like a caster of some kind, but you can’t tell which. You can’t feel anything that would indicate your abilities, but some cold sensation at the back of your mind tells you you can do something. Like another limb sits in your mind, waiting to be moved.
“We don’t have time for stragglers,” Shadowheart says.
“Yet I helped you,” Tav counters. There’s a playfulness to his tone that doesn’t match his furrowed brow.
Shadowheart concedes. “Fair enough. You’re welcome to join us in our search for a healer.”
You nod. Yes, a healer! They’ll be able to—pain strikes your temples as another memory clouds your mind.
A truck careening at you, horn blaring—a sharp hit of adrenaline and then…here.
“Oh my God I’ve been isekaied.” Your revelation earns you quizzical looks from Tav and Shadowheart. Reincarnated. Just like those cheesy but addicting books about a girl being reincarnated as a villainess in some cheesy addicting romance novel. You press your hands to your face, feeling familiar features but still wary. “Quick, what do I look like?”
“A lunatic,” Shadowheart answers.
Tav hesitates, but describes you. You. Not some other face, not a character you recall from the game but you. Regular human you. You sigh, relief flooding over you.
“As…interesting as this conversation is, we should get moving,” Tav says.
“Agreed.” Shadowheart doesn’t move until Tav heads to the only direction you can go, near part of the crashed ship.
“We need to find Lae’zel,” Tav adds.
“Less agreeable,” Shadowheart says. “She’s probably long gone by now, if not dead.”
“Well we should still keep an eye out.”
You follow the two into the still burning wreckage where they suddenly stop and draw their weapons—Tav a large axe, and Shadowheart her mace and shield.
“Intellect devourers,” you conclude. Three sit at the far end of the ship, scurrying towards you at a frightening speed. With one slash of his axe Tav takes out two of them before they can get close to you, and Shadowheart smacks the other one down. All defeated in what? Three seconds?
The three brains bleed out and flop to their sides, clawed limbs twitching.
“Vile creatures,” Tav says, holstering his axe. You expect the two to keep moving and check the nearby bodies for gold and supplies, just as you do in the game, but they don’t. They walk right past the dead man without rifling through his pockets and as you step by you feel your stomach lurch. To see a bloody disfigured body in reality felt very different from the game. The vacant eyes staring upward, pieces of flesh torn from his stomach…It isn’t until a hand covers your eyes and directs you forward do you realize you’d stopped.
“Just keep moving,” Tav says, keeping his hand by the side of your head so you can’t see the body. When his hand falls you keep your eyes on his swinging tail, and follow after him as he turns and moves into the sun.
Barrels and a broken down cart let you know what’s coming next—who’s coming next.
Your excitement strikes you then, still shaky and confused but awake. You’re in Baldur’s Gate 3, with Tav and Shadowheart, and hopefully all the others.
Your eyes scan the water nearby, debris scattered everywhere until you spot a dagger on the dock. Tav and Shadowheart watch you dart over and pick it up.
“I thought you would be one to attack with words, not knives,” Shadowheart says coolly.
You stash the dagger in a boot, smiling at Shadowheart. Gods. She was pretty as pixels but seeing her in the flesh, she was something else. “Well, words aren’t always the best weapons.”
“Can I get some help?”
You recognize the voice without needing to see the speaker. Astarion is just up the hill waiting to ambush Tav and…kill him depending on how he answers.
Based on how Tav darted ahead at the sound of someone in trouble (albeit fake trouble) you figured it wouldn’t turn out too terribly. So they had skipped over robbing the dead, and didn’t explore every corner of the map looking for treasure chests…that didn’t mean things would be different with each companion intro, right? There’s a plot here, and it has to be followed to a certain degree…right? There were no screen pop ups to decide dialogue and you all appeared to have free will, which was good.
Right?
Your thoughts did little to comfort you as you climbed the hill to find Astarion already pointing his blade at Tav who was apparently perceptive enough to dodge rolling around in the ground with the vampire. You stopped next to Shadowheart, at ease just watching the situation unfold.
Both men twitch and writhe as their parasites connect. When their visions fade Astarion questions it, and Tav answers honestly about being in the mind flayer ship and what the worms can do.
You study Astarion’s face as he realizes that he’s somewhat free, but there’s a time limit to the incubation period. Tav offers for him to join your trio, and just like you remember, he agrees.
“Splendid,” Astarion says. “Lead on.”
At that the vampire meets your eyes. Icicles dance up your spine until they pierce the back of your head, making you wince and hold a hand against the spot.
You grunt at the sudden pain, the sound quiet but drawing attention all the same. You wave the eyes away from you with your free hand. “Sorry. Head still hurts a bit from…having a tadpole put inside it.”
Nobody questions that, though you know it was something else. Every time your eyes even flit in Astarion’s direction you can feel a push at the back of your head, that phantom limb clenching as if trying to stretch and release itself. You wish you could say it was the tadpole, but it feels nothing like when you connected with Tav.
“Well let’s just try to keep our worms separate,” Astarion says, seemingly at you. “I don’t need to see what’s in your head anymore than you do mine.”
His eyes linger a moment on Tav. You nod your agreement though he isn’t looking at you now.
“I saw some footprints along another path,” Tav announces. “There could be other survivors.”
There doesn’t seem to be any question as to who is in charge. Shadowheart insists on searching for a healer but with a quick convincing from Tav you’re all headed towards a strange looking purple sigil.
“Looks unstable,” Shadowheart says.
“Best left alone,” Tav agrees. It was just like a friend's first play through that thought the sigil would kill them, so they never had Gale join their party. It wasn’t a totally unfounded theory—swirling, sparking voids did seem like something that shouldn’t be touched but everything in this world had a purpose. Anything out of place or, well, glowing, was important to the story.
But then the group is walking toward the bodies of three goblins discussing supplies.
They’ll steal from goblins but not humans? Seems odd but maybe you’re the weird one being so willing to pillage the dead, no matter their race. You frown, looking back at the sigil and knowing who is inside. “You sure you don’t want to see why it’s like that?”
Astarion is observing his nails while Tav loots the goblin bodies. Shadowheart kicks one of the bodies out of her way once fully plundered and looks back at you. “Be my guest. But if you get sucked in don’t expect me to come looking for you.”
“I’ll come look for you,” Tav states with a cheeky grin, hands inside a dead goblins pockets. It makes you smile back, so…kind and disarming. You recall barbarians didn’t have high charisma, but Tav seemed to have it in spades. Or perhaps your recent head injury was clouding your judgement—after all your reaction to being reincarnated, to being dead, was quite tame.
“Ah, a true hero.” Astarion looks between you and Tav, eyes narrowing as if trying to solve a puzzle.
You turn your attention back to the sigil, taking a small step towards it when an arm pops out.
“A hand?” a voice calls. “Anybody?”
You slap the waxing hand immediately without a thought.
“Perhaps I should have been more specific,” Gale says. “A helping hand please?”
“Oh, right!” You quickly take his hand in yours and tug to no avail.
“Keep trying!”
You pull harder, wondering if you were going to end up holding a severed arm in your hand as the sigil sparks brighter and buzzes with energy. You choose to ignore those thoughts and keep trying to free the wizard.
With one final pull the person connected to the arm comes tumbling out of the sigil. If it had been Tav to pull Gale free you’re certain it would have been a smooth experience, and he would have stepped back and dodged getting shoved to the ground by the sudden lack of resistance. But it wasn’t Tav, it was you, and instead of dodging the wizard your feet tangled with each other and you both went down.
The wind is knocked from your lungs with Gale atop you, his forehead connecting with your sternum and leaving you gasping for air. Strands of his hair fall onto your lips, soft and smelling of something spicy while his left arm is wrapped around your middle, the other braced against the ground. You realize he’d been trying to protect you on the way down, but wasn’t quick enough to cover the back of your head, which now throbs from the fresh battering.
“Ouch,” you croak, voice barely making it out of your throat. Footsteps approach until Tav, Shadowheart, and Astarion are hovering over you, each with a small smile. Well…Astarion’s is more of a smirk…
Gale pushes himself off of you and before he can say anything Tav has his hands beneath your underarms and is pulling you up. His hands slide to your back until you’re steady enough to stand on your own and thank him, rubbing at the back of your head again.
Throbbing is better than stabbing, you suppose.
“Apologies,” Gale says as he smooths his hair back, “I’m usually much better at this.”
You continue to rub the back of your head as he and Tav exchange dialogue, much of it going in one ear and out the other as you focus on the pain radiating in your skull. You squeeze your eyes shut and let your hands fall to your sides, giving in to the fact you can’t rub away whatever sensation is there.
“And you my friend.” Gale is in front of you, drawing your gaze to meet his. “I am truly sorry for landing on you, but extremely grateful for the help.”
You can’t stop your smile at him anymore than you could with Tav. “Happy to help.”
His eyes stay on you a moment longer than appropriate, but when they drape down your body you think he’s almost sizing you up. For a fight, or romance, or maybe to steal your coat you aren’t sure.
You look to Tav for direction, waiting for the leader to…well, lead. Lae’zel should be next, but that’s when you notice you have an extra member. With you there it makes five travellers, but nobody has been sent to camp yet. Wherever that is. While you’d like a moment to sit and organize your thoughts, the idea of heading somewhere on your own was terrifying.
“I hear voices over that ridge,” Astarion announces. Everyone turns towards where he’s looking, just a few feet ahead where the path winds up and you know you’ll find two tieflings looking at Lae’zel. But you can’t hear them yet.
“Let’s check it out.” Tav is already moving before anyone can object. And like ducklings you follow him with Astarion, Gale, and Shadowheart.
Taglist:
@half-poison-and-half-hope
#reborn in baldur's gate 3 with no memory and plenty of gold#x reader#baldur's gate 3 fanfic#bg3#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#gale dekarios x reader#astarion x reader
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To be Reborn
Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Vidyadhara!Isekai'd!Reader (Reincarnation AU)
Summary: Waking up in Scalegorge Waterscape, you have no recollection of your past life. You are reborn— you are a Vidyadhara— hatched from an egg. A young blond boy awaits your rebirth, the same boy who volunteers to be your protector. Your past life remains a mystery. Your relationship with three particular men remains a mystery as they gaze at you longingly from a distance. Sometimes, it's a curse to be reborn.
Note: Before any of y'all come at me, the relationship between Yanqing and the reader is strictly platonic. Imagine a protective little brother. I'm glad I was able to type this out and get it posted because this idea has been on my mind for a little bit. So, did anyone get Dan Heng IL? :3 I got him with one pull, and that makes me happy and relieved. Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Mentions of murder, mentions of blood, Nanook doesn't make an appearance in this fic :<
Word Count: 4.3k
You’re floating in the sea of darkness, floating around aimlessly. You can’t tell if your eyes are open or if they’re closed. You can’t move your arms or legs, and you feel like you’re underwater. The sounds around you are muffled, making it seem like you’re underwater. You have no recollection of how you ended up in this situation. Your mind is blank; no memories are rushing back to you. Your brain is a blank slate— the only thing you can recall is your name, and that’s it. Everything else? You have no memories of it.
Your ears twitch at the sound of faint cracking around you. Light gradually breaks through the endless darkness. The cracking gets louder and louder, and before you know it, the world around you is flooded with brightness, and you fall to the ground. Well, you land on top of someone. You open your eyes to see bright gold eyes staring at you with awe and worry.
“Are you okay?” The young blond boy asks, helping you up from the ground.
You rub your head and look around, dazed and confused. “Yes. I’m fine, thank you,” you reply hesitantly.
You notice a giant egg resting beside you, cracked eggshells on the ground and on your clothes. Did you come from that egg? You look at the young boy, who notices your confusion almost immediately. The blond boy smiles and rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks turning bright pink.
“I hope you don’t mind me waiting here for you to hatch. General Jing Yuan has spoken about you many times, and I wanted to meet you myself,” says the young boy.
General Jing Yuan? The young boy continues to ramble while you stare at him cluelessly, scanning your surroundings. This place… it feels familiar, but you don’t remember anything. You shake your head and rub your throbbing temples, sighing.
“Oh, I almost forgot to introduce myself! My name is Yanqing! I am General Jing Yuan’s retainer! I hope you don’t mind me being the first person you meet after being rebirthed,” says Yanqing, smiling at you sweetly.
You have many questions to ask, but it seems like your questions will be unanswered for the time being. Which you don’t mind. However, what bothers you is your lack of memory. Yanqing tilts his head to the side, gazing at you worriedly.
You snap out of your stupor and smile at Yanqing. “It’s nice to meet you, Yanqing. My name’s—”
“[Y/N], I know your name already because General Jing Yuan would go on and on about you,” Yanqing nods, smiling at you boyishly.
Cute. You want to pinch Yanqing’s cheeks until he smacks your hand away from his face. You smile at Yanqing, still confused about how he knows your name. Yanqing’s smile slips off his face when the realization hits him.
You brush off the look he’s giving you and point at the egg. “How long were you waiting for me to be reincarnated?”
Yanqing looks away, rubbing the back of his neck while giggling awkwardly. You cross your arms over your chest, gazing at Yanqing with amusement. Yanqing is like an adorable little brother who’s attached to his older siblings and is protective of them, but he doesn’t want to show it because he doesn’t want to be teased for it.
“Not long, but I would come here every day to check up on you,” Yanqing mutters, kicking a pebble close by and watching it clatter on the ground.
You press your lips into a thin line and pat Yanqing’s head. Yanqing silently fumes and turns away with a small huff, crossing his arms over his chest while puffing his cheeks out. You snicker and pull your hand back, sitting on the ground beside the egg you emerged from.
Yanqing sits beside you, looking at you curiously. “Do you really not have any recollection of your past memories?” Yanqing asks.
You shake your head. “No, I don’t have any of my past memories, Yanqing. Am I supposed to?”
Yanqing exhales slowly and leans back on his arms, kicking his feet back and forth as he debates on what to say. You’re a long-life species with draconic features— a Vidyadhara. Your hair cascades down your back as your tail sways behind you. Your tail and horns are a light pink, almost pastel pink. You look breathtaking, even more breathtaking compared to how General Jing Yuan described you.
You turn to look at the young boy beside you, who blinks at you before turning away. Yanqing hums and nods.
“Yes, you’re supposed to remember your past lives when you reincarnate. Many long-life species remember their past lives and their past lovers,” Yangqing says nonchalantly.
It must be nice to be able to remember your past lives and people in your past. Why is it different for you? How come you’re the only person (well, you’re assuming you’re the only person) who doesn’t remember their past life despite being reincarnated? Maybe you’re the odd one out.
“That’s unfortunate for me. I don’t remember my past life. I only know my name,” you sigh, leaning against the hollow egg you emerged from.
Yanqing hums, tapping on his chin. “Maybe General Jing Yuan can help you recover your memories!” Yanqing says.
You pucker your lips and hug your legs. It’d be nice to have someone help you “regain” your memories, but their memories will be different from your past memories. Then again, what do you know? You only remember your name, and from what Yanqing has told you, it sounds like you and this General Jing Yuan person have some kind of history with each other.
Your conversation with Yanqing was cut short when both of you heard footsteps approaching your direction. You and Yanqing get off the ground and turn to see a large group of people standing before you two. The four men look at you with wide eyes. You couldn’t help but notice they all have long hair, aside from the others in the group accompanying the four men.
“[Y/N]...” The man with long black hair whispers.
He, too, has horns sprouting from the top of his head. You look at Yanqing, who glares at the four men before standing in front of you as if he’s protecting you from the four newcomers and their guests. The man with white hair smiles at you and Yanqing ruefully. You place your hand on Yanqing’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile when he turns to look at you.
Despite giving Yanqing a reassuring smile, Yanqing continues to keep his guard up, glaring at the four men before him. You sigh and cross your arms over your chest, looking away from the four men. Everything to you is a mystery. Your past, the four men standing before you and Yanqing, your history with this General Jing Yuan person.
The white-haired man narrows his eyes at Yanqing. “Am I missing something, Yanqing?” the white-haired man asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
The man with long, dark hair chuckles bitterly. “It seems like your lapdog is protective of [Y/N],” he says, his red eyes landing on you.
Yanqing growls and holds his sword in front of him. You can’t help but stare at the ground, drowning out the sounds and voices around you. There are whispers in your head, whispers that are loud enough for you to assume it’s all around you. You bite the inside of your cheek, furrowing your eyebrows as you try to listen closely. The whispers are not only loud, but they’re incoherent. You can’t understand what the voices are saying, and it bothers you. Why are the voices loud yet quiet at the same time? You subconsciously reach your temples, rubbing them as a headache forms.
“[Y/N]?”
You snap out of your stupor and look up to see the four mysterious men (and Yanqing and the other guests) gazing at you worriedly. You blink and sigh, shoulders slumping. Could the voices be from your past life? Whatever the voices are, it’s causing you nothing but confusion and frustration. How long have you been spacing out?
The blond man looks at you worriedly. “What’s the matter? You look frustrated,” says the blond man.
You give him a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of your neck. “I’m fine,” you reply hesitantly.
The man with horns raises his eyebrows at you, looking at you worriedly. You’re not entirely comfortable with telling these men your situation. While they know your name, you don’t know theirs. Yanqing moves closer to you, whispering into your ears and telling you each of the men’s names.
“I don’t have much recollection of my past life, but I heard you all know me. Or I knew all of you,” you say nervously while playing with the billowing sleeves of your hanfu.
The white-haired man— also known as General Jing Yuan— nods and gestures for you and Yanqing to follow him and the other three men beside him. The pink-haired girl steps forward, smiling at you while shaking her legs nervously.
The pink-haired girl clears her throat nervously. “You may not know me, but my name is March 7th! But you can call me March! These two are Caelus and Welt Yang,” says March, gesturing to the older man with brown hair and glasses and the silver-haired man standing beside him.
You smile at the trio before walking ahead with Yanqing sticking by your side. You look around in awe. The more you walk further out of this place, the more you see things you have never seen before. Well, you probably did in the past, but everything is new to you.
Yanqing gently nudges you, glancing over at you. “What’s on your mind?”
“This place is hauntingly beautiful. Where are we, Yanqing?” You ask, passively looking at the other Vidyadhara eggs as you and Yanqing walk by.
How long have you been in the egg you have hatched from? The young boy beside you smiles at you and crosses his arms over his chest. You may have known Yanqing for less than an hour, but Yanqing can’t help but pride himself in being the first person you trust. Unlike the four particular men— well, three men, but he digresss— who have been anticipating your reincarnation.
“We are currently leaving the Scalegorge Waterscape! If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them!” Yanqing announces proudly, propping his hands on his hips.
You smile and pat Yanqing’s head as he leads you out of Scalegorge Waterscape with the others following behind. Scalegorge Waterscape is like another world to you— a secret world only certain people are allowed to know of its existence.
You hum softly. “How much do you know about my past life, Yanqing? You mentioned how General Jing Yuan would go on and on about me. What has he told you about me?” You ask, crossing your arms over his chest.
That piqued the three Xianzhou men’s interest and curiosity while General Jing Yuan’s smile slipped off his face. General Jing Yuan clears his throat as he slowly picks up his pace to catch up to you and Yanqing. Mostly Yanqing. Yanqing taps on his chin as he racks his brain, trying to recall what the white-haired General said about you.
Yanqing’s eyes light up. “Ah! I remember! There’s this drink on the Xianzhou Luofu, and it’s incredibly sweet. Whenever General Jing Yuan sees someone drinking it at the Seat of Divine Foresight, the General would be like, ‘I remember the time when [Y/N] would sneak out at night and buy Immortals Delight with Dan Feng. They were caught in the act by not only myself but by Yingxing as well,’” Yanqing says, mocking the white-haired General’s voice.
‘Immortals Delight?’ you mouthed to yourself, trying to remember what the drink looked like and what it tasted like for your past self to be obsessed with the drink to the point where you and this Dan Feng person had to sneak out and buy it. Yanqing continues to rack through his memories before smiling widely.
“The General would also talk about how the blooming flowers remind him of—” A hand quickly covers Yanqing’s mouth, shutting the young boy up before he can continue.
You stop in your tracks and look to see General Jing Yuan covering the blond boy’s mouth with his hand. You and General Jing Yuan lock eyes for a moment while Yanqing thrashes around in General Jing Yuan’s grasp, trying to remove the General’s hands from his face. You press your lips into a thin line and cover your mouth with your hands to muffle your laugh.
Mr. Yang smiles and looks at Caelus and March, chuckling. “It looks like the General has fond memories of [Y/N],” says the brown-haired man.
Caelus snorts. “Yeah, very fond memories of [Y/N],” Caelus chuckles.
After some time, General Jing Yuan releases Yanqing. Yanqing huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes at the white-haired General before scrambling over to you. Yanqing throws your arm around his shoulders, catching the others by surprise. You chuckle, and pat Yanqing’s head before the two of you continue your way toward the main entrance of Scalegorge Waterscape. While walking up the steps, Yanqing turns to look at the other four men— specifically Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae, General Jing Yuan, and Blade— before sticking his tongue out at them and turning back around to start a conversation with you.
“I think it’s weird how, allegedly, long-life species remember their past lives, but [Y/N] doesn’t remember theirs,” the indigo-haired man says, propping his hands on his hips.
The blond man in armor rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s not ‘allegedly’ when there’s plenty of evidence about it, Sampo,” the blond man says.
Once you all arrive at the entrance of Scalegorge Waterscape, you turn to the others before scanning the surroundings once more. You don’t think you will be returning to Scalegorge Waterscape, or at least not in the near future.
A man with his hair in a half-ponytail speaks up, “Why do you look glum?”
You blink at him and the other unfamiliar faces. Caelus slaps his forehead before introducing you to the three extra people you weren’t introduced to— Sampo, Gepard, and Luka. The two men, Gepard and Luka, smile at you politely. At the same time, Sampo magically pulls a comb out of thin air, combing his hair before strutting toward you. However, before Sampo can reach you, Yanqing stands in front of you, pointing the tip of his sword in Sampo’s direction with a murderous glare.
“I wouldn’t get any closer if I were you,” Yanqing hisses.
Sampo holds his hands up. “Whoa there, little guy! I mean no harm!” Sampo says, smiling at Yanqing nervously.
Yanqing glowers at the nickname Sampo gave him before looking at the white-haired General. General Jing Yuan chuckles, walking toward you, Yanqing, and Sampo. General Jing Yuan stands behind you and Yanqing, placing both hands on your and Yanqing’s shoulders while smiling politely at Sampo. On the surface, General Jing Yuan is calm. Still, on a deeper level, the white-haired General is mildly annoyed with the indigo-haired merchant.
General Jing Yuan clears his throat. “Yanqing, stand down. There’s no need for hostility. We’re all friends here, are we not?” asks the General.
Yanqing makes a dissatisfied noise before putting his sword away. Yanqing continues to glare at Sampo, propping his hands on his hips before pointing his index finger at the man.
Yanqing demands, “What were your intentions with [Y/N] when you approached them?”
You look at Yanqing, surprised. You look at Sampo and smile at him before patting Yanqing’s shoulders. Yanqing doesn’t budge and continues to glare at Sampo. You sigh in defeat and look at General Jing Yuan, who’s already staring at you. You visibly wince with surprise before quickly looking away from him, your cheeks getting hot while the General chuckles.
“I see the General’s feelings for [Y/N] have yet disappeared,” Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae murmurs beside Blade, crossing his arms over his chest while watching the scene unfold.
Blade huffs beside Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing at the horned man beside him. “I could say the same thing for you,” Blade says nonchalantly.
Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae ignores the look Blade is giving him, acting like he doesn’t feel or notice an obvious stare from the dark-haired man. Yanqing grumbles to himself before tugging on your arm and pulling you away from the group. You find yourself standing at the docks, doing what you have been doing since you hatched from your egg— look at your surroundings. It bothers you how familiar this place feels, but you can’t remember why.
“Ahem. Care to tell what’s been bothering you?” Luocha asks, now standing beside you as he gazes at the horizon.
Your gaze falls to the ground, feeling the sand beneath your shoes. You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue and tap your fingers on your biceps, debating whether you should tell them what’s on your mind. As much as you wanted to say to them what was wrong, you’re sure the others already knew the issue.
You look up at Luocha, who stares at you intently with his sparkling green eyes. You look at the sun setting on the horizon, shoulders slumping as you cross your arms over your chest. It almost feels inappropriate to tell someone your problems, especially when you met them not long ago after being reborn.
“Is there a reason why I’m unable to remember my past life? I find it strange that I’m the only one who can’t remember their past life after being reborn,” you sigh, rubbing your temples.
Everyone looks at Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae, General Jing Yuan, and Blade. The three men look just as clueless as the rest. You sigh and smile at them ruefully, waving your hand in front of you while shaking your head.
You sigh, “You know what? Forget I asked that question. Maybe there’s a reason why I don’t remember my past life, and perhaps it’s for the best.” Realization soon kicks in. You turn to the audience behind you and Luocha (and Yanqing), eyebrows furrowing with confusion. “Now that I am reborn, where do I go from here?”
Caelus looks at you questionably. “Care to elaborate on that for the rest of us?” Caelus asks, propping his hands on his hips.
“Do I return to the Xianzhou Luofu, or do I go elsewhere? I don’t have a home per se,” you reply, playing with the billowing sleeves of your hanfu. “This is a new and strange concept for me— not remembering my past life and questioning if I belong on the Xianzhou Luofu.”
The rebirth cycle of a Vidyadhara is something you have never experienced. At least, that’s what you assume. The waves crashing on shore are almost deafening, loud enough to keep you semi-occupied from your thoughts. What did you do to deserve to be put in this situation?
Mr. Yang hums, stroking his chin. “Well, you are always welcome to the Astral Express,” says Mr. Yang.
You look at the brown-haired man curiously. The Astral Express, huh? Sounds like you will be going on lots of adventures if you board the Express. It does sound better than doing nothing on the Xianzhou Luofu, especially when you don’t have a place called home. March’s eyes light up, and she runs toward you, linking her arms around yours. For a brief moment, a flash of panic can be seen in Yanqing’s eyes as he reaches forward, ready to pull March away from you.
What stopped Yanqing from doing so was General Jing Yuan grabbing the young boy by the shoulders and shaking his head. Yanqing huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, grumbling while kicking a pebble close to his feet. March caught you off guard when she linked her arms around yours. You didn’t expect her to be bold enough to touch you (mainly because Yanqing would cut anyone who tried to touch you).
You hum, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “I might consider it, but I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb,” you murmur, pointing to the horns on your head.
You know Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae has horns as well, but he can at least hide his appearance and present himself as a human like the others. You, on the other hand, don’t know if you can do the same. However, having horns and draconic features shouldn’t be a big deal other than dealing with the looks of curiosity from strangers and awkward stares when you make eye contact with the person.
Luka raises his hand to grab your attention. “I have a question. Since Dan Heng can change his appearance, can you change yours as well?” Luka asks, gesturing to the horns on your head.
You subconsciously touch your horns and chew the inside of your cheek. “I’m not sure, Luka. Even if I can’t hide my horns and draconic features, it’s no big deal,” you reply, smiling at the now-blushing man.
You and the others got on the boat to return to the Alchemy Commission. Despite reincarnating and not remembering your past life before being reborn, the Alchemy Commission feels almost as familiar as Scalegorge Waterscape. Although, you can’t help but feel grim when arriving at the Alchemy Commission.
“Does anything feel familiar by any chance?” Gepard asks, walking beside you.
You nod hesitantly. “The Alchemy Commission feels familiar, but I don’t think it’s a good thing. I can’t help but feel uncomfortable,” you reply, subconsciously rubbing your chest while looking around.
Aside from the Mara-struck roaming around the area, the Alchemy Commission looks eerie and empty. Unbeknownst to you and the others not of the Xianzhou faction, something tragic happened to you before your rebirth. Everyone is standing on the ground where you were ambushed and brutally murdered by someone you once trusted. You were lured to the farthest part of the Alchemy Commission, ambushed, and killed by someone you used to consider a friend. By the time Dan Feng (now Dan Heng), General Jing Yuan, and Yingxing arrived at the scene, they were too late. Stricken with anguish, Yingxing, General Jing Yuan, and Dan Feng tracked down your attackers and killed them all.
They remember clutching your lifeless body in their arms, trying to stop the bleeding despite you being dead at the scene. Your clothes are torn and bloodied, your hair matted with blood, and your skin stained with your own blood. The three men remember the giant gaping hole where your heart was supposed to be— crimson blood pooling around you on the concrete as you stare up at the three grief-stricken men with lifeless eyes. Perhaps it’s best for you to remain oblivious of your past. It’s better that way, no matter how much it hurts the three men who hold you close and dear to their hearts.
General Jing Yuan places his hand on your shoulder. “Wherever you choose to stay— be it the Xianzhou Luofu or the Astral Express, you are always welcome to the Xianzhou Luofu,” says General Jing Yuan.
You smile at the white-haired General. “Thank you, General Jing Yuan,” you whisper.
You stop in front of the Aureate Elixir Furnace, staring at the large crucible with curiosity. You hear whispers around you. You look at the people standing around you, wondering if any of them said anything. But none of them were speaking. They’re surveying the area, not saying a word.
“How strange,” you rub the back of your neck before crossing your arms over your chest.
You close your eyes and focus on the voice in the back of your head. The voices don’t belong to you, but the voices sound very angry and sad. The voices are gradually getting louder and louder. You squeeze your eyes shut and duck your head low, your hair falling over your face.
The voice whispers, “We shall reunite one day, [Y/N]. You cannot escape your fate.”
Fate? What’s your fate? Are you in danger by any chance? Could the voices be connected to your past, or does the voice belong to something or someone seeking possible revenge on you?
“Are you alright, [Y/N]?” Blade puts his hands on your shoulders, startling you.
You look up at Blade like a deer caught in headlights. You gulp and smile at him nervously, trying to act normal.
“Yeah! I’m alright! I’m trying to recall my past life, that’s all,” you lie.
Blade and Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae look at you worriedly as you turn to Yanqing, who approaches you with a worried look. Great, more people to worry about you. Yanqing stands beside you and stares at Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae and Blade cautiously before turning to you.
Yanqing holds his arm out for you to take. “Are you hungry? If so, I know a few places on the Xianzhou Luofu that have amazing food,” Yanqing says, giving you a closed-eyed smile.
You smile at Yanqing and loop your arms around his arm. “I am feeling a bit famished,” you murmur.
Yanqing hums thoughtfully, tapping on his chin as he pulls you away from Blade and Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae. While Yanqing is listing out the food on the menu of the restaurant he passively mentioned, the group behind you follows closely.
Luocha looks at General Jing Yuan from the corner of his eyes. “You saw that, right?” Luocha mutters.
General Jing Yuan hums, nodding. “Indeed, I did.”
While your past life will be a mystery to you, the voices in your head seem to not want you to live your new life in peace. Whether the voices in your head are from the voices of those in your past life or are trying to warn you, there’s a strange feeling deep down in your gut, and you can’t put your fingers on it. Whatever it is, it will have to wait.
Note: I know a Vidyadhara has many features, but I like the draconic features. Therefore the reader has draconic features. Oh, and the color of the reader's horns... I couldn't come up with a color, so I chose a random color. If you're not a huge fan of the color I chose, change it to whatever color you desire. It's 5 AM, and I need to sleep, so I hope you guys like this story-ish. I won't be posting any fics for this upcoming week, so keep that in mind. Anyway, to my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for the HSR one-shot series: @ashwasherelol, @mompt2, @elegantnightblaze, @lunavixia, @jadedist, @reversearrowhead, @pinksaiyans, @aurelia-xyt, @lilliansstuff, @starrry-angel, @kaoyamamegami, @kodzuvk, @for3very0urs, @a-cosmicdawn, @g3n0dtt, @theblades, @wntrsblvd, @raaawwwr, @immahuman, @irisxiel, @siaracarroll, @crazydreamcat, @sen-nes, @sagekun, @orichalcumthief, @dyingsweetmackerel, @rosiesareblue, @ichikanu, @undecidingfate, @asoulsreverie, @angelmican, @misdollface, @4-34-am, @sxftiebee, @hispasian-otaku, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @vox34, @tsukkikeisimp, @inapileofbooke
Read more of my works on my Masterlist / Masterlist 2 | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^
#Honkai Star Rail x reader#Honkai Star Rail imagine#Honkai Star rail fanfiction#Honkai Star Rail fanfic#HSR x reader#HSR imagine#HSR fanfiction#HSR fanfic#Dan Heng x reader#Gepard Landau x reader#Sampo Koski x reader#Welt Yang x reader#Blade x reader#Jing Yuan x reader#Luocha x reader#Caelus x reader#Nanook x reader#Luka x reader#genshinluvr
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i found you ; gunwook zb1
synopsis ; gunwook and reader were lovers in their past life but a certain accident kills the two, separating them. gunwook, who remembers all his past lives, made it his personal mission to find reader over and over again, even if it meant living multiple lifetimes without them
genre ; based on see you in my 19th life ! (was listening to one of their ost while writing this) reincarnation, soulmates if you think, angst, i-love-you-in-every-universe, deaths
pairings ; gunwook x reader, mentions of junhyeon
word count ; 1.5k words
“look at what i got!”
gunwook looks up and sees you wearing a new semi-formal outfit. the both of you were in his house, just wanting to spend the day together. gunwook shows you his signature smile and ruffled your hair. maybe there are good things to look forward to in life. “i think you look great, what’s the occasion?”
“no occasion, i just wanted to look good.”
gunwook smiles again and pokes your cheek. he does not hesitate to show you how much he adores you. he had lived so many different lives that he never bothered to find love, but yet you, were different. knowing most of his lives were short-lived, he never hesitated to tell you how much you mean to him. this time though, he is praying for a life where he could grow old with you. “you always look good,” he says, admiring you once more.
you blushed slightly and hit his shoulder playfully. “you and your way of words-“
he grins and gives you a hug, cutting your words off. “let’s go out today. we can’t let that good outfit go to waste, can we?” he holds your hand and picks up a few of his belongings, before leaving the house and heading to the car. he opens the car door and lets you go in first. “after you, my lady,” gunwook says in a british accent. you laughed at his words and get in, gunwook closing the door after you before getting into the driver’s seat.
you both drive off, you admiring how gunwook looks while driving. how could you get so lucky? you were not that affectionate of a person but gunwook knew that he means to you as much as you mean to him. “hey gunwook have i ever told you-“
the screeching of the tires rang throughout your ears, causing the both of you to flung forward and back, your foreheads bleeding upon impact. glass shards flew everywhere, cutting your skin before you passed out momentarily.
no, no, no! gunwook panicked when he regained consciousness, barely able to open his eyes. the both of you were now on the ground, the car flipped over. he quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and crawled his way towards you, unbuckling yours and trying to drag you out of the car with as little energy he have left. “yn! wake up! please!” he pleads, tears pouring out of his eyes. he pokes your cheek softly, hoping you wake up. he feels his energy start to drain away and he knew he did not have that much time left.
“yn, you can’t hear me but-“ his voice cracks and he lays down beside you, losing his energy. “i will find you, please, remember me.” gunwook was crying by now, you weren’t responding to him. “i will remember you so promise me you will, please?”
sirens were ringing in his ear and he wanted to see you do any sort of sign that you heard what he said. why was life so unfair? why did his current life end so early when he was finally happy?
“yn, i-“
and it all went black.
first life without you . .
gunwook groans. he was reborn as the son of a conglomerate family. although his current life is luckier than most, he could not enjoy it.
you weren’t here.
he did not know where to start. how could he find you? what are the chances you will remember him? or your past life? he was currently 23 years old, twenty-three years without you.
“i arranged a blind date for you,” his father enters the room, giving gunwook the details. he sighs but doesn’t protest. going on blind dates was the fastest way to find you.
he went on the date, but he did not like it. she was someone who was arrogant and believed she should get her way, which was so different from you that it disgusted gunwook. he left halfway through the date, not wanting to deal with her further.
how much longer could he live without you?
third life without you . .
gunwook was reborn as the son of a nice couple that owns a family restaurant. gunwook took full advantage of the fact, serving and helping out as much as he can. with more customers, the higher the chance he could find you.
he has now lived forty-eight years without you, his previous two lives being short, but it wasn’t worth living if it meant you weren’t around.
“this is for table 2.” his mother handed him a tray with stir-fried noodles with mayonnaise all over it and tempura on the side. gunwook looked at the dish. it was your favourite food. he remembers the first time he has seen you eating this particular combo and how unappealing it looked, but you were adamant on how good it was. gunwook had once took a bite and realised it was actually delicious but because he did not want to admit you were right, he would make the dish behind your back.
the memory brought a smile to his face and he quickly went to serve the dish, a little hopeful but to his dismay, it was someone that he immediately knew wasn’t you.
“enjoy your food,” he says, a little disappointed before turning away.
sixth life without you . .
gunwook has now lived a hundred and fifteen years without you. in this life however, he was blessed with the ability to sing and dance. in fact, his name was the one he was given when he first met you. he was park gunwook again.
“you should audition to be an idol!” his friend, kum junhyeon, would constantly tell him but gunwook would always shake his head, disagreeing. he does not want to bring any attention to himself, when he still could not find you.
“you being an idol or famous could help you find that person you have been wanting to find-“
gunwook did not have to listen further. he immediately recorded and posted a video of him singing to a song and it went viral almost immediately. he has been scouted by companies to train under them but he declined them all, hoping to stay independent. junhyeon, however, has taken the role of his manager, helping gunwook edit videos and secure any deals.
a year or so have past by since then and gunwook made a small name for himself. he performs at small cafes and restaurants and holds small fanmeetings every now and then. only to find you, of course, but yet, he was making very little progress.
“the fansign starts in a few minutes,” junhyeon mentions, preparing gunwook before he gets on stage. “maybe the person you like is here?”
gunwook sighs. he does not want to give up but his chances are getting slimmer and slimmer. “i don’t know man, what if they aren’t here?”
junhyeon gives his friend a sad smile. “even if they aren’t maybe …” his eyes goes all over the place, finding a way to cheer his friend up. “i am sure they are cheering for you from afar!”
gunwook returns a smile before heading onto stage, greeting fans and soon, the autograph session begins. an hour or so passed, the autograph session ending but with no sign of you. he has lived over a hundred years without you, how much longer must he live till he finds you again?
“no luck?” junhyeon asked, patting him on the back. gunwook shakes his head, disappointed but not surprised. junhyeon drops him off at home, assuring him that there is a right time for everything. he drives off, leaving gunwook standing in front of his apartment block.
disappointed and sad, gunwook heads to the nearby convenience store. he did not have the urge to cook anything. he goes in and bought a few items for himself, planning to have his late-night snack in the store itself. he opens a bag of chips and pops a few into his mouth when-
“i didn’t go to the fansign.”
gunwook, intrigued, turned to look at the person who was sitting a few chairs away from him, talking onto the phone. for a moment, he thought it was about him but he wasn’t that famous so he dismissed the thought away, not wanting to stare.
“i wanted to okay! but my boss needed me to work and i just … didn’t go. it’s probably better that way, i would have panicked and not talk at all as soon as i see the park gunwook.”
gunwook’s ears perked up and looked right back again. the way the person said his name felt all too familiar.
“there will be another chance in the future-“ the person turned to looked at gunwook and that’s when everything clicked.
it was you.
“i have to go, bye.” you hung up the phone and stared at gunwook, embarrassed that you were just fangirling over him when he was right beside you. but an unknown feeling came over you as you look at him. then, everything clicked.
“i found you.”
“it’s you.”
© taeraemisu do not copy my works !
#taeraemisu#zb1#boys planet#zb1 imagines#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone#park gunwook#gunwook x reader#gunwook imagines#zb1 gunwook#zerobaseone imagines#zb1 oneshots#zb1 scenarios#zb1 reactions#park gunwook x reader#zerobaseone x reader
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“I've returned”
Disclaimer: English is not my mother tongue so please be nice :)
Words: 750
Plot: You have been married to Sukuna for centuries until the moment you had find your end. But you're back, reincarnated in a different body, and it's now modern time.
Pairing: sukuna x reader
Theme: angst, comfort, worship, devotion, reincarnation
You had been his wife for years and even if Sukuna hadn't really liked you at the first place, looking down at you only as a pathetic and annoying human being, he had learned to get along with you. And with time, the king of curses had learned to love. You had find a way to get underneath his skin and cold attitude. At first, he even hated you for it. He never truly understood how you could do that.
But then you had died and he had been left lonely for the very first time. With your loss, he had become crueler than ever.
A century have passed and he is now back as the strongest curse, possessing the body of a teenager, Yuji Itadori. Sukuna just wants destruction and murder for Jujutsu Society. However, he wasn't ready to see you, in the crowded streets of Tokyo, reborn.
You have awaken in a world far different from the one you remembered. The air was different, the sounds unfamiliar, and the surroundings alien. As you gathered your bearings, you realized that you were in a new body, a vessel that felt both strange and yet strangely familiar. And you didn't know how it could even possible.
Memories from centuries past flooded your mind. You were once known as the queen of curses, and you had shared a love that transcended time and death with Sukuna. You had been inseparable, bound by a connection that defied the mortal coil. Until the day you met your end by the hands of one of the strongest sorcerer from your time.
But you had been given a second chance at life. As you navigated this new existence, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. It was then that the memories of Sukuna and your centuries-long bond resurfaced.
Driven by an inexplicable force, you sought him out. In this bustling city of skyscrapers and technology, you knew you had to find the one who had been left alone for so long. The one who had showed you unconditionnal love and devotion. Your heart, now beating in a mortal chest, quickened with anticipation. Because you could feel him around, his loneliness and rage echoed through the surroundings.
It didn't take long to sense his presence. Sukuna, the ancient being you had loved for eons, was still there. As the wind blew through your hair, you felt a strange yet strong sensation down your spine. You felt like someone was watching you. You looked around quickly and, to your surprise, it was him. You frowned as you became aware of this new, young body he was in, but you didn't care. You could feel it in the depths of your being. You felt an overwhelming sense of affection coming through. You wanted to rush to his side but you control yourself.
As your eyes met, recognition flickered in his red gaze. Time seemed to stand still as the weight of centuries bore down on you. There was a mixture of surprise, disbelief, and a spark of something deeper—something that transcended the boundaries of time.
He continued to stare at you, his expression unchanging as always. But you could feel it. He was relieved to have you back. Then he titled his head.
"Sukuna" You whispered as you were quite shocked, the name carrying the echoes of your past. "It's me. I've returned."
His eyes softened with a mix of emotions, and a slow, genuine smile spread across his face. The void of loneliness that had haunted him for so long began to dissipate. In that moment, you knew that your love, forged through centuries, had endured and would continue to defy the constraints of time.
A sly grin played on his lips as he looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. "My queen" He uttered, his voice a rich resonance that sent shivers down your spine. "Time may have changed our forms, but my devotion to you remains unchanged."
He extended a hand, and you took it without hesitation. As your fingers interlocked, the familiar warmth of his touch enveloped you and you couldn't be more relieved to have find your home again.
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I'm going to revert to 17 year old me who was obsessed with night at the museum for a second. So bare with me an imagine this reincarnation au.
So reincarnation is so completely not what ancient Egyptians believe it. It basically ruins the concept of an afterlife (something they lived their whole lives around, literally) by saying that after you die you're born again as a human. So let's say, for this sake, that soulmate reincarnation existed, but back then they didn't have much of a grasp on it. If they got visions of a past life they mightve chalked it up as divinic visions, especially, say if you were at a god-like status of Pharaoh.
So when Ahkmenrah's tablet was formed, it essentially stopped him for being reincarnated, tying his whole being to his old body. You however, didn't have the privilege. You, his soulmate, was buried somewhere else by Kahmenrah as a final "fuck you" to spite his little brother in the afterlife. You, having being reborn over and over for thousands of years and never finding your soulmate ever again - because he isn't being reborn.
However you've always had a love of all things ancient Egyptian. Something about it comforted you. Your past lives spoke for that; a writer, acreologist, teacher, explorer, even glimpses of a life in old streets of Memphis. It made sence then that now you worked in the British Museum when you weren't working on your degree.
One night had you working later than usual. Everyone else had gone home. The sun disappeared over the tops of buildings and darkness rose to follow it. The nightguard, having know you for weeks now, decided to let you stay a little bit longer as your finished up writing about the stela before you. Her face was knowing, she left you with the words "be careful", which at the time seemed like a far too obvious thing to say.
But when the carvings on the stela began to move, turning to look up at your with tilted heads, you thought that meant it was time to go home to bed. When you turned, finding the giant stature of Ramses II staring down at you, you almost screamed. When the sarcophagus lids of Merenkahre, Shepseheret, and Ahkmenrah started moving and the mummy's - no, fully dressed people - sat up, you practically fainted.
Well actually you did faint.
When you woke up though, looking up at the face of a man you knew you knew as your lost lover, you smiled. And so did he.
#sorry i ranted and the format sucks bc im on my phone BUT IM GOING INSANE I LOVE AHKMENRAH SO MUCH ACTUALLY#RAMI MALEK ONE CHANCE PLEAS EPLEADE PLEASE PLEASE#nemos thoughts#ahkmenrah x reader#natm x reader#night at the museum
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In your Reverberate AU, how long before Rhaegar figures out he's been reborn as a baby? Does he assume he died and was reincarnated into the future before realizing his father, Daemon, is in fact *the* DAEMON TARGARYEN and he's been reborn in the past instead? Is he amazed at first that he was LUCKY enough to be reborn as a twin after his last life of sad, lonely only-childness? When does he realize Jon likely remembers a past life too? And most importantly, when does he realize he has his entire family wrapped around his pinky finger????
Fun questions! Especially because they're very different between the twins.
I think both of them figure out the "reborn" part fairly quickly, because everyone is huge and blurry and they're being swaddled and fed warm milk constantly.
As for the future versus past, unlike Jon, Rhaegar catches on very fast, once his hearing is developed enough to pick up actual words. Anyone can be named Daemon, but a Daemon married to a Rhea Royce with a dragon named Caraxes is difficult to mistake for anything else! His greatest point of confusion is that Daemon never had twin sons? Much less an amicable relationship with Rhea?
Whereas Jon's depth of knowledge of the Dance is more surface level. He knows Daemon, of course, but wouldn't remember his first childless marriage, and I don't think Jon memorized all the dragon names. He was more fascinated by the Aemon the Dragonknight era. This makes things interesting, because if he has no reason to believe he's been reborn into the past, then Rhaegar is just a Targaryen name that his sibling could have been given. He probably assumes Dany passed it on through her eventual line. So he would have no idea that Rhaegar was actually that Rhaegar until they can have a conversation about it.
Which will be a tragicomedy because you'll have them simultaneously going "isn't it wild that we were reborn into the past/future!" only to stop short and be like WHAT at one another.
Both Jon and Rhaegar are very sharp individuals, especially when it comes to reading people, so I think they realize that their twin is also too "gifted" to be a normal baby/toddler. It also must make some sense that if they were reborn, their twin was as well. (Jon has no idea who his sibling might actually be, and again, I don't think it crosses his mind that their names were kept the same intentionally because it doesn't make any sense! It only happened because Rhaegar picked his own name and Daemon remembers that.)
Rhaegar is certainly over the moon about the circumstances, once he gets over the shock of it. His father is the Daemon Targaryen, and he doesn't hate his wife at all, and in fact loves them with all of his heart! Their parents don't seem to love one another, but they get along amicably and seem to operate as partners/allies. He has a brother who is similarly weirded out by everything but who is always there, he is never alone and doesn't feel the same need from before to be alone. Also, there are DRAGONS. They get to fly DRAGONS. Did he mention DRAGONS? And they have cousins! And there are even more dragons! And magic! Look at that pretty candle someone gifted them for their name day--
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Before reading, please check series masterlist to read the warning(s), disclaimer, and to make sure you’re on the right chapter. Minors do NOT interact.
[Please read while listening to this.]
IF THERE WERE TRUTH IN REINCARNATION, you would beg to be reborn as a kitten. A cherished kitten who was allowed to sit on a human's lap whenever looking for warmth. Perhaps if people saw you as a nice, furry creature acting cute, they wouldn't hurt you. Perhaps if they thought of you as a creature simpler to understand, they wouldn't abandon you.
Being a human child is weary work. They say you were created from the proof of love between two inseparable people; your very breath is a testament to their unbreakable union. And your identity is sculpted by the undeniable beauty they believed the world possessed, compelling them to bring forth new life to share in the splendor of it all.
So, who are you now after they've parted ways? Father was no longer just your father; he had formed a new family with another two daughters as evidence of his love for a woman who wasn't your mother. You are no longer his favorite, and surely you are not the only one. Meanwhile, Mother is only left as a vengeful woman, reacting with anger each time she glimpses traces of your father in you—in your words, mannerisms, or even thoughts. Any divergence from her own beliefs, she considers defiance.
(Didn't you say, I am proof of their love? Don't you know, that promises can be broken and roots can be severed. Marriage should be forever until it isn't. Then, who am I if they are no longer love each other?)
The pitiful child of man shuffled through the world; full of despair, without self-identity. Not daddy's little girl, no longer a copy of mommy. The soft hair that was once braided was more like a tapestry full of wounds piled up early on. However, no one knows this – they say, “What do little children know about adult problems?” and yet, your body ended up bleeding internally from continuously swallowing the thorns spit out by your two originators.
Forced to grow—my spine wasn't developed enough to be your pillars! Mature little girl.
If reincarnation is true, then, you hope to be placed in a kinder world. A place where happiness is within reach—where you will always be embraced by love. So you don't have to scavenge looking for it in everything.
In a kiss offered by a stranger.
The tea lies long abandoned on the coffee table, gone cold hours ago. Yet, the taste still lingers on his lips – bergamot and spice mingling with something uniquely him. Your eyes were tightly closed, but you could feel the warmth radiating from his approaching body. He places a hand under your chin to tilt your face, and he slides his tongue in with practiced ease. You breathe in his aroma deeply, and a thin cloud falls over your consciousness.
Simon kissed with quiet intensity, giving you the impression that it wasn't his first time. It doesn't matter; you already lost your first kiss to your high school crush anyway. But, when compared, this is nothing like the chaste, fleeting peck bestowed by Billy Thompson behind bleachers in junior year. That was a schoolgirl's kiss. This? This sets your blood ablaze.
Laid bare, you are. With your pleading love-me eyes—the gaping mouth of a virgin begging for someone to pour love into it until it hits the back of her throat, swallowed without a trace – “let me wash my esophagus with this. So that my future lovers don't find out how unlovable I am.” Some sort of ablution. And Simon becomes the all-compassionate man, volunteering for a play where he acts as your lover.
His tongue brushes against yours—a clumsy dance of your inexperience. But Simon took the lead, coaxing your shy response. Your hands crept up and clutched the sleeve of his leather jacket. As he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, warmth pooled in your lower abdomen.
This, you realize dimly, is what fills the pages of your well-worn romance books—passionate kisses and warm breaths mingling with each other. One difference is your lack of love for each other. It doesn't matter; after all, lust is a cheap substitute for love, just as searing.
(Starving people eat anything, right?)
When Simon put his big hands on your waist, you gasped and pushed him away. His brows were furrowed in confusion, but his eyes were waiting for you. Your cheeks reddened as you avoided his gaze.
“S-sorry…”
Simon watched patiently, his hands hovering but not crowding. A thought occurred to you—clumsy and awkward as you felt. You bit the inside of your cheek as you gathered your courage.
“I should, um, find...” Your voice fell to a whisper. "Contraception."
He just nodded, his expression carefully schooled. You got up from the couch, knees shaking, trying to ignore the embarrassing damp sensation between your legs, and ran towards the bedroom like a frightened doe.
As you searched through the dresser, you stumbled upon a sealed box beneath a pile of clothes. In a rush, you pulled out the box with fumbling fingers, barely managing to keep it from slipping from your grip. A small foil wrapper—a precaution purchased on a whim, “just in case” some imagined future occasion arose. Little did you know, that occasion would be this night with this stranger turned companion.
Through the door, you hear Simon's gentle footfalls approaching. Your heart threatens to jump from the confines of your ribs. Turning, you found him waiting for you, sitting at the end of the bed, pink sheets against his dark leather jacket.
Suddenly, the tiny foil packet feels heavy and itchy around your fingers. Gathering what little courage you have, you approach on unsteady legs and perch beside him, close but not quite touching. Your gaze was still on the carpet patterns, which looked strangely more interesting, while your hand reached out to hand him the small square.
Simon's eyes fell on the foil packet, staring at it like it was a foreign object. He looked up at you.
“You ever done this before?”
Your cheeks flushed with renewed shame at his question. “No, I haven't.”
The quiet confession hangs heavy in the air. You wait for him to take that little packet from you—part of you expects him to take advantage of your inexperience. Is that not what men do when presented with a willing body and an opportunity? A chance to take the lead, to act like they know everything—taking it from a girl and then going home to brag off to their equally asshole friends. As if their cocks were that great to be able to change a woman with just a few thrusts.
And while this may seem unjust, you can't help but generalize the rough types that frequent bars like the one you've both visited. Subconsciously, you make the same assumption about Simon.
But, he proved himself to be different. He confounds your expectations and judgment at every turn. Calming softness is the last thing you would expect from a hardened soldier like him. He has mapped every opening, joint, and gap in you that he may exploit against you—
And yet, when anyone else would seize the opportunity for easy pleasure, he pulls back, lost in his own thoughts that you can't begin to understand.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Might be better, your first time… if it's with someone important. Someone who'll treat you right."
"It's just sex."
Before you can stop yourself, the words escape your lips in a feeble attempt to contain the raging tempest of feelings inside. But even as you say that, you know in your heart it's not true. From the time you were a teenage girl singing cheesy songs and poring over fairytales, you've dreamed that your first time would be with a lover—someone you truly cared about, someone who dedicated their body to you out of love rather than simply lust. You’ve imagined yourself on your wedding night, sealing your bond in the most sacred ways.
Foolish, romantic notions, like a fragile dream, you know. And some small, still-hopeful part of you holds onto that fantasy, hoping it will come true. But that too erodes with time, evaporating more and farther from your grip until you are forced to settle for something within your reach. Desperation drives the unthinkable, right?
Another wave of silence between you. Simon hung his head low before taking the foil packet from your curled fingers. The bed creaks softly as he rises to tower over you. His strong hands are bracing the mattress on either side of you, caging in but not touching. Your heartbeat forms an accelerando as you hold your breath, peering up at him through your lashes to take in every detail you could in this dark room.
“Last chance, darling,” he rasps, searching your eyes. “Once we start, there's no taking it back.”
When he speaks, his breath washes hotly over your lips, and the gravel in his voice makes your insides clench. Supported only the dim light of the moon through the window for illumination, the lean muscles under his jacket looked more defined, and those irises seemed to darken with promise and more enigma.
You swallowed to relieve the sudden dryness in your throat. He's so hard to decode, and a small voice warns you not to mess with something you don't understand.
Something born of desperation takes hold of you. Before your courage fails you, you reach up to trace fingers along his stubbled jaw, feeling his muscles stiffen under your touch. Your lips came closer and pressed against his as a plea and answer. Heat floods your veins at the contact. Simon paused over you, letting you set the pace as your mouths moved together. His hands gently massaged the fat on your thighs, following the curve of your hips.
Simon's hands find purchase on your waist, thumbs tracing idle circles coaxing soft sighs from your lips. He deepens the kiss, and you follow gladly, clinging to his broad shoulders as he leans you back on the bed. Your heart is pounding wildly. He drags his lips to plant kisses, molding your body perfectly to his solid form.
Before he even stripped your clothes off, you already felt exposed in front of him. Your body isn't good with secrets; when he marks your pulse point with gentle suckles, you tangle your fingers in his dark blonde strands. His mouth ignited a flame against your flesh.
Some small, rational part of your mind screams this is madness. What will Mother say, when she finds yourself lost in the arms of a stranger, giving yourself so freely? “A man's heart is truly a wretched, wretched thing!” she kept repeating. But you're only borrowing this man's body and tonight, not his heart.
As Simon straightens above you, his hand flies to your jeans button with intent. Shyness overcame you in a sudden wave. “I-I'll do it,” you stuttered in a small voice, your cheeks burning.
Without waiting for his response, you sit up enough to fumble with the stubborn button with trembling fingers. Stupid pants. Why does it have to be difficult when you're desperate to shed these last few barriers between you? Sweaty fingers are slipping clumsily. Frustrated, you curse under your breath, the haste making your efforts futile.
A lifetime seems to pass before your buttons are finally free. Peeking through the gap, the plain white cotton is visible, trimmed with a small white satin ribbon at the waistband. Shit. If only you had known what tonight held in store, you'd have definitely chosen something lacier, sexier to match the mood.
Though, Simon didn't give any reaction other than maintaining his steady gaze at you. You again try to wiggle and squirm against the denim down your legs. Come on, come on, don't ruin the mood-
Before you could protest, his hand replaced yours. Large and sure, they grip your waist to guide you to lie down once again as he tugs the jeans free in one smooth motion. The denim hits the floor with a careless toss, leaving you with your top and the flimsy barrier that you put on without thinking. Instinctively, you squeeze your thighs together, acutely aware of your condition beneath his stare.
“Please don't look,” you plead shyly.
“Why?”
The single word rumbles out gruff, without judgment—too flat to contain one. He asked that in pure curiosity while continuing to stare at you.
“It's… embarrassing.” Your voice was small, almost a whisper as you avoided his gaze.
In truth, you feel naked in more ways than one. Between your legs, a dark spot has formed where your arousal has bled through the fabric and how it might disgust him. Your breasts feel heavy and sensitive where they strain against your bra. Every nerve is alive—hyper-focused on every minuscule movement and warm breath between you. It only took one touch from him to dissolve any remaining control.
The silence stretches while Simon is on his own agenda, studying you in considerations you don't understand.
“You want to stop, then?”
Simon's question sent a shot of panic through you. Stop now, even though you've just lost yourself in the sensation? When this man is the only person who can offer you the only scrap of comfort and care that you will never find again?
You shook your head vigorously. “No, please… don't stop.”
It was so embarrassing how your voice came out small and ragged—full of pleading for him not to lift his warm touch on your skin. To send him away from your bed now would be to return to the cold emptiness that has become your constant companion. He has seen half of you; might as well completely strip yourself for him and lose these foolish inhibitions. It seems that you too have no idea what moderation is; it was always all or nothing.
“Can’t reach your pretty cunny with your legs clenched shut, darling,”
Simon's coarse words spread a new flame to flare up in your cheeks. Your core feels wetter and throbbing than before, and you swallow thickly in morification.
Before you can think further, his thick thighs part your own with gentle insistence. You let out a small gasp. The stupid, girlish white panties were exposed to his view. But he makes no move to touch, merely hums his approval.
A sharp breath penetrated your lungs as he dragged his fingers to trace the outline of your cunt through the fabric. He pressed his thumb against your folds and slipped in. Under his caresses, you writhe and grab the sheets, your hips lifting in an instinctive need for greater friction. He spreads your slick flesh.
You barely register anything when he positions his face in front of your panties. Then, he leans in, nuzzling his nose against the damp barrier. Panicking, you clamp your thighs together on instinct to deprive him of access.
“Wait!” you gasp. “That's… it's dirty.”
Simon looked up from down there, at you as if he didn't comprehend what you'd just said. The soft light of the moon cast a silver hue on his blonde eyelashes, making them resemble the feathers of a Greek goddess's wings. His gaze, intense and piercing, locked onto yours, penetrating through your feeble objections. They see beyond your meager resistance, straight into your deepest desires.
Color rose in your cheeks, but the dimness of the room made them blend seamlessly with the background. You bit your swollen lip, not sure if you should ask him to stop completely and pull back to spare you the vulnerability or continue the treatment.
Without a word, he placed his big hands on your hips. You watched him grasp the waistbands of your panties before dragging it down to pool at your ankles. The fresh air caressing your newfound nudity sends chills down your spine. Another tug, and the scrap of fabric joins your discarded clothes on the floor.
Now, you're lying there with evidence of your undisguised arousal—sticky, glistening liquid from his touch in the past few minutes. Evidence of your pathetic desires.
Some small, rational part of you wants to flee, to cover yourself with anything. To ruin everything by saying that this was all a mistake—that now that you think about it, you don't want it anymore. That it's not too late, there's still time before he makes engravings on your walls with his pen like a stamp.
But that other part of you—Goodness.
And unfortunately for your liar side, that's the part Simon focuses on.
A cry escapes your lips when Simon returns his committed mouth between your thighs, granting your latter wish. He brushes his lips against your swollen flesh, making your back arch helplessly off the bed. Your legs fall open of their own accord. He wastes no time to delve deeper, lapping eargerly at your dripping slit. Each flick of his tongue broke one by one the chains confining your control, drawing out more sweet moans that made his jeans tighten even more from the aching hardness that was growing inside.
When his lips close around your swollen clit, you gasp, fingers curling around the bed sheet. Your body wriggled and trembled beneath him but Simon remained unperturbed. His blonde head was steadfast, focused solely on his devotion to pleasuring you.
You feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter as he continues to lavish your weeping cunt. Incoherent noises spill from your lips – gasps and whimpers and cries escape without restraint. He pins your hips down and grips your thighs to keep them wide open.
“Simon… I… oh God…”
Tangles are created in your sheets as your fingers continue to twist them desperately in a tight grip. Every nerve alive and hyper-focused on the sensations his tongue continued to convey. Your pulsing walls close together as low pressure builds in your stomach.
“Si-Simon! I feel strange, I—oh!”
A wave of heat rolls from your lower stomach as your muscles clench and spasm uncontrollably. Your thighs quiver—you cover your face from the overwhelming sensation. White spots dance in your vision. Some dam has broken deep inside you, and you fall, fall, fall as a tear slips down your flushed cheek. Warm essence flowed freely towards his tongue, and he tasted it against the walls of his palate. His lips were wet, but Simon licked the remainder like a man long seized of water.
The room feels impossibly still and quiet. Only the sound of your mingled breaths and your racing heartbeat fill the humid air. You keep your flushed face covered. Now that the haze has cleared, your mind is swirling with shame and uncertainty again.
How do you deal with him now that he has buried his tongue in your cunt? The sticky mess between your thighs reminds you that he has brought you to the peak of ecstasy with just his hands and mouth. Nonetheless, your taut nipples and the pounding in your ears indicate that, despite everything, you still want more.
The whisper of fabric is heard as Simon shifts. You peer through your fingers to find him leaning over you, calloused hands gently pulling your palm away.
“You alright?”
The question, however gentle and well-intentioned, caused your skin to heat up in discomfort. You can't help but feel embarrassed—as if he sees you as some fragile thing, needing reassurance after every little touch. As if you're a mess, a tiny bird that soars too and falls, making sympathy his default emotion whenever he looks at you.
It makes you think about all the other women he must have been with, how he must have touched them in the same way he was touching you now. Those who are nothing like you. Those who understand their own desires and a man's. Those who could lose themselves for hours in passion, their stunning hips swinging above him as his hands glide along their curves without hesitation or restraint. It leaves a strange taste in your mouth—bitter and almost envious.
All the women around him, and unfortunately Simon has to settle with you tonight. A shy woman, unsure of her own identity.
Something has narrowed in your chest. Your lungs feel heavy as you breathe in, like an anchor is binding it to the bottom of your soul. But, you manage to give him a nod. And before your stupid mouth ruin everything, you surge up to capture his hungry lips with your own. Your arms snaked around his neck to bring his body closer to yours.
“How do they do it, those who make love without love?” you often ask. The first time you wonder about this, you compare it to building a house without a foundation. Impossible. It's like writing without words or dancing without music.
But as you sink beneath his bulky frame—as Simon lifts your legs to wrap around his hips and grinds his hardness against your cunt, drawing a moan from you and feeling the roughness of his jeans against your swollen folds—you begin to understand that it's possible. Those who make love without love simply need to possess the desire—a determined, tenacious grip on something.
As your teeth collided, the kisses grew more passionate and frenzied; it was unclear who was feeding off whom's hunger. His hips rolled into you. Tongues tangled together in an unrehearsed dance that ignites sparks coursing through your veins. He nibbles your bottom lip, and you moan into his mouth.
Reeling for breath, you turned away, only to give Simon the opportunity to nib on your jaw and trace kisses down your neck. His hand slid under your shirt, creeping up your ribs to cup your breast.
When he reaches the delicate shell of your ear, he closes his teeth gently around the lobe and tugs. You cry out at the sharp pain mixed with pleasure. His busy hands kneaded your breasts, twisting your erect nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He slides the other down your belly and stops to cup your cunt. You gasp and buck against his hand as he starts circling your clit lazily, dragging two fingers up and down, coating it with another wave of your essence.
“Off… take it off.” You mutter without thinking.
Simon understands your breathless demand. Kneeling between your thighs, he makes quick work of his leather jacket, tossing it without a care for the floor. You watch him take off his shirt, muscles rippling as he grasps the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head.
Your weathered heart, fluent with wounds and what is left behind in its wake. However, when the covering is removed, you're not prepared for the sight revealed to your eyes. His body—Simon's body. His chest was a masterpiece of defined muscle, and his abs were chiseled as if they were as solid as granite. The trail of blonde hair leads temptingly below the waist of his jeans.
It was the map of scars on his flesh that drew your attention. Pale lines, both thin and thick, had claimed their places, like the constellations he carried as proof that he had been hurt and survived. All his close calls, markings of victory—there were people who wanted him dead, but he lived to tell the story.
Still, in the dim light of the room, one scar seems strikingly different from the others.
A long, deep gash curves gracefully around one side of his ribs, which have healed into a thick rope of knotted flesh. You wonder about its possible origins—some accident, perhaps, working with tools or machinery gone wrong. Another one of his secrets you're not deemed worthy for him to share with.
Seeking to regain some composure, you grasp the hem of your sweater and draw it over your head. The only thing left on you was the white bra.
He observes your body with a careful scan before meeting your gaze once more. Leaning down, he captured your lips in his parted ones, renewing the kiss. You lifted your back slightly to make way for one of his hands. He fumbled with the small hook before releasing it, freeing your breasts in relief.
Simon cupped your breasts, fingers fully rounded and exploring freely now with more access. You let out another moan. He inserted your breast into the warmth of his mouth, his tongue dancing around it as he gently sucked. You arched against his body, pressing your chest against his.
He releases your swollen nipple with a tiny pop sound. You watched as Simon rose to his knees, eyes never leaving your form as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small foil packet you gave him earlier. Placing the square between his teeth, he reaches down to unzip his jeans. Your breath hitches in anticipation.
But to your secret dismay, the jeans stay on, shielding his thighs and underneath from view. Hope dissipates from your heart – a foolish, unfathomable melancholy seeps in through the empty rooms. As you watch him tear the packet open with his teeth and roll the condom down his length, you try to tell yourself that you have no rights—that this means nothing to him as it does to you. That this is merely your way of finding pleasure in each other until morning calls.
Yet, the disparity between you weighs heavily, as he has seen every intimate part of you, and you're still denied some access to him.
As Simon finishes rolling on the condom, your thoughts become detached. Desperate for a distraction—comfort, you stretch out your arms in invitation. He accepts your wordless plea, diving into your embrace and covering your mouth with his own as he slowly presses his cock forward. You feel the stretch and burn; your walls have been breached to accommodate his large size. The foreign fullness—the pulsing sensation of having a man fill you so completely—draws a quiet gasp from you.
Breaking the kiss, he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You felt him take a shuddering inhale. He started to move slowly, the stretch and burn of your walls parting further. Your breath comes short and sharp as tears prick the corners of your eyes from the sting of it.
“Too much? Want me to go easy?”
The question that leaves his lips tugs at the feet of your heart. And you believe that's how unlovable people behave—the urge to keep searching, to lick it even from the tip of a knife. The urge to see where it was never present.
You know he only shows concern for you to continue bringing him pleasure. Yet, some part of your traitorous, fickle heart, swells. The conviction that there is something worth feeling, something flickering in the distance—timidly but surely blooming, waiting to be discovered.
(Butterflies take flight in my belly. My heart has learned to feast on even the driest of breads.)
“No… keep going,” you rasp.
So, you cling to him tighter, urging him on despite the ache, because having him move within you is the closest you'll come to an embrace—to a cheap substitute for love. Let me drown; let his touch envelop my body – to become both his refugee and prisoner. Let me lose myself in this illusion, for it is all I have.
Simon pushed himself in further. You bit your bottom lip feeling him against your walls; your blunt nails create half-moons into his flexing back and shoulders. The burning feeling is emphasized before gradually disappearing and is replaced by pleasure. You threw your head back against the pillow as he slowly sped up his thrusts, bringing your hips to meet his.
A broken gasp escapes your lips when he slightly changes his angle and slams back in. His name was uttered in the lewdest sounds—gasoline on the fire of his lust, creating another wave of vigor to slide his cock in and out of your weeping hole.
Silhouette was created when he straightened his back, blocking out the moonlight. His muscles rippled beneath his skin as he continued to deliver controlled thrusts. You watched the sweat slide slickly down the cords of his neck. He gripped your hips before pulling out. You whimpered at the empty ache. But, before you can protest, he slams in the angry crown and fills you to the hilt in one deep thrust.
The mirror at the end of the room has steamed over from the heat. Simon places his large hand firmly on your lower belly, pinning you down in place. He brought his other hand to rub circles over your swollen clit. Your lips form a perfect 'O' as you gasp.
Through heavy-lidded eyes, you follow the outline of his collarbone, droplets of sweat sliding down his skin. The sound of flesh slapping flesh was accompanied by mingled cries and moans. You turn your face into the pillow, watching how the sheets tangle and crumple around your desperate fingers. Simon quickened the roll of his hips; the bed squeaked with each one.
“Ah! O-oh, Simon! Simon! I’m—!”
Your body trembles as unbridled moans escape from your failing lips. He pushes your stomach farther in while continuing to piston his hips. Your breasts bounce and sway; sweat covers taut, flushed nipples. He rammed his fat cock into you so hard that it caused you to boil and surrounded your messed-up brain with smoke.
“You close for me, darling? Gonna come all over my cock?”
Your cunt throbs from his breathy voice. Brows furrowed, lips parted around gasps and sighs. The lacrimal glands swell. Every inch of your senses is narrowed into hyper-awareness, with focus scattered all over and your thighs trembling uncontrollably. The white spots on your brain are spreading. His thrusts became sloppier as his hips stutter. Your stomach tightened, velvety walls pulsing around his twitching length until Simon buried his face in your shoulder.
A litany of curses and praise fell from his lips. His cock flooded in scalding heat of your slick juices mixed with his climax. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, trying to stabilize your ragged breathing and regather reality.
While your brain recovers, you stare at the boring ceiling of your room. The heaviness in your limbs and sore muscles replace the last waves of pleasure. Your mind wandered aimlessly, half-aware that you were still clinging to him.
Simon rose, drawing his body away from yours. He pulled out his cock, and the emptiness suddenly felt foreign. You observe drowsily as he stands on his knees to fix his trousers – his movements appear hurried now, as he no longer needs to linger after having taken his pleasure. Feeling exhausted, you lay motionless.
“You good?” he asked, looking at you.
You gave him a weak nod. “M’alright… just sleepy,” you mumble, biting your lip.
For a second, something flickered in Simon's eyes—something akin to tenderness. But it's gone as quickly as it came, and in your current condition, you're not a competent witness either. Maybe it's just a reflection of your desire for him to stay, to hold you one more night, and to leave in the morning. Too involved, too risky.
That wasn't the deal, you know.
And you also know that you've always been bad at letting go, of your habit to cling fiercely to what you love until your marks are ingrained upon them. You loathed the cold room now that he had detached himself from you. But it would be selfish beyond measure to ask him to stay, to shower your desperate wounds with his kisses as gently as he did when he was still under the spell of lust. You couldn't drag anyone along with you. It would be unfair, even cruel. You couldn't do that, not to Simon.
You turn to your side and pull the blanket over your naked form. Shutting your eyes, you tried to fight the dull ache rising in your chest.
“You can go,” you mutter.
Simon stood silent for a moment, his agreement given in silence. The mattress groaned softly as he shifted his weight. You heard him finish getting dressed, followed by the soft, steady padding of his footsteps against the floor. Each step takes him further from the bed. You heard the sound of the door knob turning and the door swinging open, allowing a sliver of light from the hallway to peek through the gap before it continued to narrow and darkness returned.
Then comes the click of the door as it fully closes, and you're all alone again.
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Infinity
Yandere ! Gojo x Female ! Reader
Part 8 | start over again
warnings | yandere!gojo, death, murder, implied that sukuna becomes a curse, etc.
Notes | this fic will be using she/her pronouns for y/n. Also this is a reincarnation fic, so Gojo's name will not be "Satoru" in this part. And please let me know if you want to be in a taglist for this series !! ^-^
Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.
Extra Note | This fic is now on wattpad under my username "icametolaughatyou" !!
Infinity Masterlist
GOJO SEIJI could not, for the life of him, find a way to make sure that y/n will love him in future reincarnations. In other words, he was left with a single option. To make sure this never happens again.
Granted, it would be difficult to ensure that y/n falls in love with him in every life. Not to mention that it is never simple when it comes to finding her either.
However, in every single life, he manages to find her, or she accidentally finds him. Both incidents are by chance, of course, but the chances are never zero.
So, how to deal with the current situation...
The answer was obvious. The two of them simply have to start over. Gojo hates starting over, but what other option does he have? Sukuna has touched her. Sure, her innocence is still in tact, but it won't be for long. Sukuna definitely comes off as the impatient type.
"Master?"
He turned in his chair and focused on the door. A smile coming to his face, she's here.
Despite her getting married to someone that wasn't him. He couldn't bring himself to be mad at her. In fact, he blames this whole mess on himself. Truthfully, he should of snatched her up the moment she walked right through the door when they first met.
He won't make the same mistake again.
"Come in."
Standing up, and making sure his clothes were in order, y/n came in a moment later and closed the door behind her.
"Master, I'm sure you're already aware, but I'm afraid I'll be leaving the Gojo estate in a few days, so.. if you want.. would you like to start looking for a new maid to assist you?"
His eyes scanned her for a moment. Completely and utterly enraptured by her mere presence.
"Of course. Though it'll be a shame to lose you."
Y/n smiled and shook her head, "I'm honestly not that good of a maid."
"Nonsense, if you were terrible, I would of kicked you out a long time ago."
That was a lie. Gojo would have never done that. He would of held onto her that much tighter. The mere thought of throwing her out sickens him.
Because in every single life she lived, she didn't get a happy ending. Even when she was reborn as his granddaughter.. at the end of it all. She had to die.
Just like how she has to die now.
She was in love with another man. Is being tainted by another man's touch. The two of them have to start over. Its the only way for things to be set right.
"You're always so kind to me, Master."
"Then why don't you stay?"
"Well.. even though I love working here. I want to, well, you know... be closer to Sukuna."
He felt his jaw clench, "that so?"
"Yes, I love him very much!"
"Does he do anything for you?"
She paused and frowned a little. Head tilting to the side as she thought over his question, "what do you mean?"
"What i mean is... what does he do for you? How did you fall in love with him?"
"Oh! Well thats easy! He's super nice to me, sure he was mean when we were kids, but all that changed when we got super close! He is always there for me and beats anyone up that messes with me! And .. how I fell in love with him ..," Gojo's eyes darkened at the lovestruck look on her face. How could she talk about another man like this?! Why can't she remember her past lives with him?! Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why-
"Master?"
Her gentle touch made his senses go on overdrive when she laid a hand on his arm. Her eyes filled with worry.
"Are you alright? Are you not feeling well?"
He raised his hand and cupped her cheek. His form bending down to her height slightly so his lips could press down onto her forehead.
"Yeah, I'm feeling just fine. And don't worry y/n...I'll set everything right."
"What the fuck did you do?!"
Gojo faced Sukuna, arms crossed as the latter fumed and raged like a child having lost something dear to them.
"I did nothing, i have just come here to inform you that there has been an accident and that you're wife has passed-"
Gojo tilted his head to the side, easily dodging a blast of cursed energy directed his way.
"So angry. Her loss is terrible. But we all must move on."
Sukuna cracked his knuckles, "or maybe you were just too pissed that she wasn't yours so you went ahead and killed her."
Gojo made no move to enter a fighting stance. He merely continued to look down at the man. Eyes devoid of any emotion.
"I would never kill her. At least not with reason."
"The hell is that supposed to mean?!"
"Simple, I didn't kill her, I merely see it as me fixing what has been wronged in this life. A mere accident that won't ever happen again."
"Gojo..."
Gojo turned to leave the man, but before he left, he looked over his shoulder, "oh, so I won't forget, I'll just tell you now. In her next life, stay away from her."
Sukuna didn't have time to ask what the man meant by that, as Gojo was already gone.
And as his words started to sink, Sukuna finally understood.
"Sick son of a bitch."
To torment a girl in every reincarnation, how unexpected of the Gojo clan. Or more specifically, one man from the prestigious clan...
Infinity taglist | @whore-for-hawks @esthelily @huicitawrites @flaming-vulpix @zeniiis @rin1802 @mrowwww @kenstarsworld
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere satoru gojo#yandere gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo
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Twisted Love | MS47
― Pairing: Dark Angel!Mick x fem!reader ― Word count: 3.3k ― Warnings: +18; suggestive content and a quick description of sex (p in v); mentions of a fallen angel, assault, and stalker behavior; description of horror situations and death (but not too graphic). ― Summary: The rule is clear for all celestial beings: to love the Almighty beyond everything. They can’t share the feeling. It is perpetually prohibited for angels to get fond of humans, especially the protector angels. They are the ones who will follow their human on earth and protect each one. Those Angels and the humans are the same pairing throughout time. Mick watched Yn die and come to life in different forms each period, and he fell. In love and from Heaven. Years after searching for Yn, he found her again, and he’s ready to get what’s his.
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“I slithered here from Eden, just to sit outside your door.” — Hozier, From Eden
He knew the rules. He had friends who disobeyed it and had to pay the price: to leave Heaven. And nobody wants to leave the Heavens. Mick never judged them, but he always questioned himself as to why would someone freely give up their position, their friends, their home, and their God, for something that could only be classified as temporary when put side by side with the world known by the celestial beings.
Up until he met you.
Up until he watched you die and come back to life.
Up until he protected you in every lifetime.
Up until he couldn’t resist but visit your dreams.
Up until he finally realized he was in love.
With a human.
Mick Schumacher was in love with you.
A guardian angel was in love with his human.
He was cast out of Heaven by the Almighty who did it with so much mourn and pain, that the other celestial beings almost tried to change His mind. But nobody questions the Almighty's orders. Rules were made by Him and they were meant to be followed. It doesn’t matter if it was one of His favorite angels.
Mick still remembers what he said to him before judgment day.
“Son, you can still regret your sin. You can still change your mind, and the Heavens will forgive you,” the powerful voice echoed around, and Mick kept his head low.
He could only think of you. And how your skin felt against his. How beautiful you looked sleeping. And how angelical your laughter was.
“Father, you always talk about love, so why don’t you let your beings love?” he asks, and though if the question came from any other Celestial the Almighty could read it as some kind of disrespect, it came from Mick, so he only sighed.
“You can love me, I’m your creator, your ruler. I made you the way you are Mick.”
“Then why are you punishing me for following my instincts and feelings? If you created me the way I am, then it’s your fault I’m choosing this path!” he retorted, finally lifting his eyes to the sky. The most beautiful sky to ever exist. The kind of thing that no human eyes would support.
“Enough!” the Almighty’s voice reverberated around the void and clouds. “You’re being cast out of Heaven, son. And your human? She just died. You’re gonna have to find her again. Good luck, Mick.”
And so he walked around the earth, he flew around the sea, he looked at each corner until he could finally find where you were reborn. Where you had reincarnated.
And when he finally did he followed you like a shadow. Just like he did when he was your guardian angel.
And Oh- you were so beautiful, so perfect. Mick loved staying by your side while you worked, spooking a male coworker here and there. He would walk home with you, just observing as you smiled widely to everyone who passed by, how you were so full of life, how you were still the woman he fell in love with. The one he fell for. Quite literally.
–
It was a Friday night, it was a happy hour from work at a bar three streets from your building. You weren’t in the mood to party, but your friends insisted, and your boss was always so adamant about having everyone together, you did not know how to say no to the invitation.
That’s how you found yourself sitting at a barstool, your lips a bit numb from a shot of something you didn’t know. Your body was lighter and the tipsy feeling made you giggle at everything three of your coworkers would say.
Mick was watching from the shadows, a mask of invisibility around him while he assessed the dangers around the place. And his blood boiled when he saw the guy who was eyeing you from the beginning buying you a drink from across the bar, tipping something on your cup before asking for the barman to give it to you.
He transported himself to a dark hallway and walked to you just when the drink was put on the wood counter, the contents of whatever the man had added settling at the bottom of the cup. Mick took advantage of the place where you were sitting and pretended to sit by your side, accidentally knocking your cup.
“Oh- oh my, I’m so clumsy, I’m really sorry,” he used his best mask to pretend it wasn’t his intention. To draw your attention to him.
You turned ready to complain, but the second your eyes met his big blue orbs your voice died down, trapped in your throat along with your heart from how fast it started to beat. He was so beautiful, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander from his angelic face to his white button down, some of the top buttons opened showing just a hint of blonde chest hair. You gulped. He was wearing blue jeans too, and a pair of Converse shoes. What a marvelous view, you thought.
“I can buy you another drink to make up for it,” he suggested after some seconds of silence, and you gulped, before giving him a nod with your head. “I’m Mick, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”
He extended one of his big hands and you shared a glance with your coworkers behind you, one of them giving a thumbs up as if approving the way Mick looked. You giggled, and turned your body fully in his direction, taking his hand in yours and feeling the chills run down your body.
“You seem familiar,” you muttered.
“I’ve read somewhere that blonde guys are starting to catch up with the brunettes on statistic numbers,” he joked, lifting just the corner of his lips while his eyes attentively scanned you.
You let out a chuckle, finally touching his hand with yours and stopping for a beat. His skin felt warm, and it was like her whole body was lit up by a simple touch, “I’m Yn.”
“Sorry for your drink again, Yn. Though I think I may have saved you, it looked awful from what I saw,” he pointed to the glass that only had a small sip, the liquid a strange green shade.
You made a face at the contents, “What are you having?”
And Mick grinned internally. You were being forward. You wanted his company. He knew you didn’t usually try to make conversation like this. He knows you prefer your silence most of the time. Knows you like the back of his hand.
“Whatever you’re having.”
“Well, I had a few glasses of gin and cola, but I can totally follow you with beer if you want.” Oh, you were so sweet. And so thoughtful.
Mick smiled and shook his head, “I don’t like beer,” because you don’t like beer, Yn. And I’m the perfect guy for you, “I’ll have gin and cola too, sounds tasty.”
Your eyes lit up, and a small smile graced your lips.
And so he kept you company for hours. Drinking and talking. You were so carefree, laughing at all of his jokes, and cracking a few too, to which he would throw his head back and present you with the perfect view of his milky neck. You so wanted to kiss and lick it.
From his peripheral vision, he saw the guy who tried to drug you walk to the bathroom. Mick excused himself and followed him. His wings were twitching on his back, begging to be set free so he could fly to the highest spot and drop that little shit from there.
When he opened the door, the guy was washing his hands and turned to him, instantly recognizing Mick as the man who stole his victim of the night.
“Your motherfucker, I was-”
Mick furrowed his brows and stared deep into his eyes.
There are things that the human eyes aren’t ready to process yet. And that’s exactly the form that he showed the guy. The form that shut his mouth, making him gasp with utter terror. Mick smiled, closing his eyes and coming back to his blonde skin, eyes now completely dark, inviting the man to jump into the unknown darkness. Something that would certainly kill him.
“Please,” he tried to plead, but nobody messes with you and lives to tell a story. Mick was still your angel. It was still his duty to protect you.
He felt satisfied when the guy dropped at his feet, mind haunted by the worst demons earth could house, and body a few seconds from death.
Mick brushed invisible dust from his shoulders, before walking back to the bar. An enchanting smile on his lips when your eyes found him in the crowd.
“That was quick,” you jabbed and Mick chuckled, fitting his body right beside yours instead of sitting at the barstool.
“I missed you, had to make it quick, or else my heart wouldn’t take it.”
You giggled, turning to him. One of your elbows at the wooden counter. Mick turned too, fitting between your legs that parted just right for him.
Looking up at him it was like you were the angel. His angel. His goodness.
He loved you. He worshiped you. And it felt heavenly when your hands reached for his shoulders, bringing his face down to yours and crashing your lips in a tentative kiss. You flicked your tongue shyly, and Mick almost moaned, holding your jaw and your waist, and opening his mouth for you to deepen the kiss.
The material of his shirt was soft against your palms, and so was the skin of his neck when you moved your hands there and threaded your fingers between his blonde strands.
Mick tasted like alcohol with a hint of something sweet and fresh, and you almost moaned when he sucked your bottom lips into his mouth, grinning into the kiss.
You stayed like this for a bit, kissing here and there, talking, and sipping your drinks. Your coworkers were long gone. And when you got ready to leave, Mick offered to walk you home which for some reason you accepted.
His hand laced yours while you walked down the dark streets, and you never felt so protected in your life the way you felt at that moment.
You had just met him. You had no justification to trust him. To show him where you lived. To ask if he wanted to enter your apartment. But he had such inviting eyes. Such a way of holding you. Of you speaking.
He looked like an angel.
And that angel waited right at the threshold waiting for whatever you would say after you got inside.
Mick wanted to do it right.
He had entered her house so many times, but now it would be different. You would invite him. You would house him. He remembers one of the verses of the Book of Life where the Almighty says that he’s at your door, and he’ll only get inside if you ask him to.
Well, he’s ready to be your everything, but he wants you to invite him to do so first.
You turn around, a hazy smile on your lips, “C’mon, Micky, don’t be shy about me now. Get inside,” you finally verbalize. “This is my house, I don’t share it with anybody, no roommates, I promise. You’re welcome to get in.”
You’re welcome to get in.
I don’t share it with anybody.
He grinned. You share it with him now.
Mick walked inside.
He took his shoes off and walked to your kitchen watching you try to heat some frozen pizza.
That night Mick fed you, bathed you, and laid with you in bed, making sure to leave just before you wake up and pretend he slept on the couch.
That morning he made you breakfast, adding an extra strong black coffee to help you with your headache. He also asked you on a date and kissed you when leaving – which he didn’t do, because he was always there. He wasn’t from Heaven anymore, but he was still your angel, he would always be your angel.
That month he asked you to be his girlfriend. You discovered his surname, and that you had more things in common than you thought that night. You discovered that he was a biker and that he spoke several foreign languages. He had gone to the military, but never into war – his skin was too flawless for someone who had, no scars, except for two on his back, which he explained were from a car accident.
Life with Mick was perfect. It was like he could read your mind. He knew what you needed at the right time, he would order you food when he wasn’t around, and cook for you when he was. He would show up to pick you up at work with flowers. And he would whisper the dirtiest things in your ear while maintaining the purest face.
Just like he was doing now.
“Tell me who you belong to, Yn,” his order was smooth, just like the skin of his stomach that was gliding over yours while he thrusts into you at a slow and deep pace.
You whimper, hands going to his back, fingers finding his scars, and gripping his body closer to yours, “I- I’m yours, Mick. All yours. Only yours.”
He paused with his lips in front of yours, breathing you in right before tasting you. It wasn’t long until you both dissolved into pleasure. His fingers trace your curves, while you lay your head on his chest.
He was so good at aftercare.
He was good at convincing you.
He was good at everything.
You never thought he was good at murder too.
It was a Saturday night and you were walking home from the same bar you met Mick. You had just met with some coworkers and decided to walk home. And you would have texted your boyfriend for him to pick you up, but your phone died, and you didn’t want to bother Mick, he was probably fixing the new bike he got last week.
What you weren’t expecting was a guy to come out of nowhere in front of you. He was huge, and he smelled like alcohol. You don’t even understand whatever he slurred. When panic finally kicks in, and you’re ready to scream, but his hand finds your mouth, while the other one grips your neck.
You remember your mother telling you that you must have a strong guardian angel, remember her telling you about the day you were born, and how they almost lost you. And so you pray for him. Pray for whatever bigger force could hear you.
And he shows up.
Mick shows up.
You called for him. Granted, you had no idea he was a fallen angel, an angel nonetheless.
Your angel.
And you were so innocent, so vulnerable, you needed Mick, that’s what he would tell himself, mainly because he was already following you. He always was.
You reminded him of his portrait in a mirror years ago, back when he was innocent too. Just an angel. One of the Almighty’s favorites.
But he wasn’t innocent anymore. He had fallen. And fallen angels don’t mind killing people that get in their way. So that’s what Mick did. He gripped the guy’s neck and held his face in front of his making sure his own back was turned to you. Mick showed him what the worst things on earth could look like, and how they looked in hell. The guy tried to look away, tried to close his eyes, but he had glanced at Mick’s black orbs, it was too late. Before his heart would stop, before his mind would get too hazy to understand everything, Mick twisted his neck and threw his body to the ground.
When your boyfriend turned to you, your eyes bulged still trying to grasp what just happened. You pointed to the guy on the ground, and Mick just nodded making you even more scared. How could your Mick kill someone? The sweet and kind Mick. The attentive, and soft-spoken blonde guy had just made whatever magic and killed someone.
“Love,” he called, and you shook your head trying to make your legs work. “Don’t be afraid,” he tried to reason, but your mind finally caught up with your body and you started running unsure of where you were heading since he had the keys to your place. Hell, he basically lived there!
“Yn, don’t run from me,” it was one of his soft orders, but this time they didn’t bring butterflies to your stomach but rather made your body prickle with fear because the second you turned your head Mick was flying in your direction.
He had big black wings with some golden feathers. It was beautiful, but scary somehow, just as everything new is.
You ran as fast as you could but it was nothing compared to how fast he could fly, and when Mick reached you he laced his hands around your body and flew up. You watched the gleam on his blue eyes, the way his milky skin seemed lightning, his dark wings enveloping you. He was still beautiful. Still, the whole moment felt like too much and your mind shut on you.
–
Waking up to Mick watching you wasn’t new, but this time it felt different especially because he still had his wings. They had retreated somehow, looking a bit smaller than earlier, but they were still here, and your breath hitched when you realized that it wasn’t a nightmare.
“I- What are you?”
“I’m an angel,” he stated, and your brows furrowed. “A fallen one. I was your guardian… still your guardian somehow,” his simple and direct explanation made you sit up and dig your hands into the bed cushion feeling dizzy all over again.
“An angel?!”
Mick nodded.
“You killed a man…” you shuddered.
He huffed, fingers going through the golden strands of his hair, “He’s not the first.” Mick’s confession makes you scramble to get up, “In my defense, they all tried to do you harm, and I would never let someone harm what's mine.”
He was so calm about it you wanted to laugh in disbelief.
“And you learned it at what… the third book of the Bible? No wonder you’ve fallen.”
His features twist.
“I was cast out of Heaven because I chose you instead of the Almighty.”
You tremble, head shaking in denial.
“Not possible. That’s sick…”
“I love you.”
“You don’t love me! What kind of twisted love is that where you kill people for me?”
He grins, “The best kind. You said so yourself you love me back, you also said you’re mine. You welcomed me here into your life, and I won’t leave.”
You gulped. “Mick, please. No.”
His eyes softened for a second, and you felt for yourself because he somehow looked like your Mick. The one you loved. And if he asked you something you would do it.
“You want me to prey on you?” he smirked. “You know you can’t run from me.”
Your love castle came crumbling down in the blink of an eye and along came your tears rushing down your face.
“Please,” such a mournful sound. Mick shook his head. “You’re a monster!”
“I’m your monster, love. You can’t deny it.”
With his wings fully retreated Mick appeared in front of you. When his lips find yours you try to push his shoulders and bite his lips, but he moans into your mouth, and the feeling of his muscular form and soft lips makes your brain shortcut. You’re open for him like his favorite meal on a silver plate.
“I waited too long for this. You’re mine, and I’ll hunt you down if you ever try to leave me, Yn.”
And your mom was right. You had a strong guardian angel, however, nobody accounted for the fact that he would be obsessed with you. Looking for love you ended up stumbling into something close to there, but also close to hell.
────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, besties! I hope you liked the piece! This is the last one from the spooky pieces I tried writing hehe hopefully this is as good as the previous ones. I wanted to add a huge shout-out to Coffee (my coffee emoji anon here on Tumblr) for proofreading this <3. Let me know your thoughts on this and make sure to reblog and leave a comment because Tumblr is being a btch and not delivering my stuff properly :( *mwah*.
Ps. You'll notice that I make a lot of references throughout this piece, but none of them are intended to hurt beliefs or represent my vision of things. This is purely a work of fiction, and I tried my best to avoid using specific elements, choosing to go with "Almighty" in some moments and be a tad vague. I hope this doesn't come across as some kind of disrespect or anything. *virtual hug*
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Sky isn't First's reincarnation, Warriors is.
Heads up, this is just a headcanon! I am using LOZ canon in parts to help fortify my thinking but again, this isnt to prove a point!
Also tagging people below! I was going to reblog my og post but this came out too long and would just be better as its own post!
I believe that Sky isn't the reincarnation of Hyila's chosen hero, but instead the hero's incarnation. While both the fandom (loz and lu) and the canon use the two words interchangeably, they truly do have two different meanings, even if they are considered 'small.'
So does this mean I believe Warriors to be the hero's direct reincarnation? In a way, yes I do. I believe that there are some threads in canon that can stablize this idea, but most are based on personal preference and headcanons.
If you wanna know more, ill be going more into it under the cut!
Firstly, the difference between reincarnation and an incarnation!
Reincarnation, defined as “a person or animal in whom a particular soul is believed to have been reborn”
an example of this would be Sky, Sun and Demise. We see many of these reincarnations, but most notably and factual would be Demise’s reincarnation to Ganondorf. They share the same soul, at least the one from OOT does.
Incarnations, Defined as “a person who embodies in the flesh a deity, spirit, or abstract quality.”
Now, there arent any solidly proven instances in LOZ but most can assume that Nayru, Din and Farore from the OOS and OOA games/mangas are incarnations of the deities they are named after. But a more well rounded example would be to look at mythos in the real world, specifically Greek mythos with their gods Gaia, Thanatos, Nyx, and more.
Sky, or SS Link, has been believed to be the reincarnation of the First hero (“First”), is it even easier to prove him to be a incarnation. Sky, in the canon of Skyward Sword (“SS”) is not proven to be the direct reincarnation of the chosen hero- he is said to be the chosen hero, and plays such roll in the story of SS but there is nothing that says he is the direct reincarnation of First. Perhaps there is evidence that states otherwise, that is likely in the vast canon of Legend of Zelda, but it feels (and is stated) that the cycle of ‘reincarnation’ starts with SS link and his Zelda.
An incarnation feels like the better fit for the character of Sky. He is, and would be, the incarnation of the Chosen Hero, a heroic spirit known for his courage and loyalty to the divine. Hyila in the uncanon manga stated that she would meet First again, but again we do not get any notion that this refers to any reincarnation like the goddess takes.
Now for Warriors, or Hw Link, there are obviously the visual similarities that connect Warriors with First as both are the only one seen to wear scarves, as well as the one shoulder pauldrons. But it should also be noted the similarities in the stories both partake in. The main concept is very similar to the rest of the courageous heroes, but these two seem to be the only was who have fought in war of sorts, both battling against a dark army as the only hero able to fall the mighty leader.
Now, most of the rest of these thoughts would be based on the frames of headcanons rather than facts, as the idea behind this thought was of the poetic similarities between the two characters rather than facts within the LOZ or LU canon
Warriors and First being the 'leaders' of a war, neither being ready for such responsibilities yet being forced to none the less because they are the only ones able to hold such responsibilities
Both feeling unworthy of holding such power for being 'unpure' (First; being imprisoned for 4 years, Wars; encounters with Cia and/or having Dark Link being created)
Being experienced, infield fighters compared to dungeon crawlers, both of which are used to working with others in planning/fighting
First has been characterize within the fandom (and canon) as a recluse, naturally from his trauma of imprisonment yet even then he still has this authoritative status and energy to him. And while Warriors is seen as anything BUT a recluse in the fandom, it is still canon within the canon that he was infact a mute. So, its interesting to note how similar the two's nature would of been if certain characteristics in canon werent there (ie, HW link getting overconfident and prideful, which First shows little to no traits of in his appearances)
Back to characterization, both tend to be depicted as chivalrous men, either because of their roles as important 'military' figures or their natural personalities.
These are really just my beginning thoughts on this! Im....I like this idea a lot- as you can tell!
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#cosmic theory#linked universe#linkeduniverse au#lu warriors#lu sky#lu first#linked universe headcanons#linked universe warriors#linked universe sky#hylias chosen hero
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