crypt1d-part-2

[crypt1d-part-2]

TW vent post, ed and sh mentions

i want to scream

my therapist wants me to stop vaping

and i’ll probably have to tbh because i’m too broke to keep up with it rn

and i’ll have to eat more to get my mom and psychiatrist off my back

and my mom treats my siblings like shit but not me ?? so i’m the only one who can do anything about it and i have to

and i’ve been clean from sh for a while now but if i stop vaping i’ll probably relapse

because i replaced cutting with vaping, and now i’ll probably end up doing the reverse

[crypt1d-part-2]

i wish my skin showed bruising more :/

you can’t really see it when i get bruises, it just doesn’t show up visibly

i hoped losing weight would make them more visible but it hasn’t💔

[crypt1d-part-2]

m1a is overlooked by way too many disordered and non-disordered people, and it's gross. it is such a dangerous disorder, but the total ignorance of it makes it much worse. some people think that it's "not that bad" because bulimics typically have a normal body weight, but that doesn't change the absolute havoc purging wreaks on the body. it can and does kill. the mortality rate of m1a is about 4%. even when it isn't fatal while someone has it, the lasting complications can be severe and deadly in some cases. it needs to be treated like the serious disorder it is. but even in disordered circles, people can treat purging like it's the bottom of the barrel of ed behaviors, even though it causes more immediate harm than restricting (not that restricting isn't dangerous, it just takes more time for those effects to show). there needs to be a lot more education about m1a everywhere because the way it is treated is terrible

[crypt1d-part-2]

I need a hot older man to starve for. I want to get skinny for a hot older guys so he can tell me how small and cute I am but nah I’m fat as fuck with no older man

[crypt1d-part-2]

🍎🍉🍑🥦🥒🥬🥚🥫🍚🍵☕️🥤🍹🧊🚬

𐙚 rb with your safe foods 𐙚

🫐🍅🍓🥕🍱🍙🍜☕️🍵🧃

[crypt1d-part-2]

fuck my mom is actually really worried about me

i hate when this happens

why can’t i just be fucking normal

i keep hurting people and it feels like i can’t do anything about it

i can.

i just don’t want to change

[crypt1d-part-2]

Shout out to the 4n4 girlies (and guys) who ARENT anywhere close to societally presentable as 4n4.

The ones who go to the doctor and get told to keep losing weight

The ones whose family hasn’t gotten worried yet

The ones who feel like they can’t mention 4n4 without being disbelieved/told they should starve more.

I see you and I hear you and you’re valid.

[crypt1d-part-2]

realest post ever

i want w33d so bad but the only 3dd13s i have are shitty and i shouldn’t get high at school. then i wanna sm0ke or even v4pe atp but i don’t have anything on me rn!! save me from this hell!!

[crypt1d-part-2]

TW numbers and sw !!

fuck this i’m never going to the psychiatrist again (scheduled another appointment in 3 months)

everything was fine and great then this motherfucker mentions that i’ve been steadily losing weight since i started seeing him (a year ago)

and normally i’d be ecstatic to hear that. on one hand i am !

but on the other MY MOM WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME

i’m pretty much doomed

she’s already been getting on my ass about me getting skinnier and my eating habits but now she has CONFIRMATION from a PROFESSIONAL

i’ve literally only lost ten pounds but i’m 5’2 and my sw was 112 so it seems more significant than it really is

can’t rlly believe it’s been a year and all I’ve lost is ten pounds, but also if i went any faster i’d be in the hospital by now✨

[crypt1d-part-2]

my mom made dinner, and i got a bunch of broccoli to fill myself up on it before i ate anything else

i also used a tiny plate and just hoped no one saw me with it bc they’d pay too much attention

i was wondering how much my stomach could handle, and i guess i know now bc i ate the container of broccoli (about half of the food i had) and i’m really full

i lwk hate the fact that i even ate enough to get full.

i’ve been thinking about food “normally” for the past few months bc my idea of normal is fucked enough to still lose weight, but i kinda regret it even though i haven’t gained. my wl just slowed down enough for me to get away with, which was the goal.

[crypt1d-part-2]

wow it’s been a minute since i logged on here

i’m still here tho guys hii again

[crypt1d-part-2]

[crypt1d-part-2]

once i start eating its lit so hard for me to FUCKING control myself😭😭 pls if anybody has tips on how to like not stuff my face at dinner (my OMAD) n how to like not binge or snack after

ALSO im so close to getting down to 49 and ill finally be out of the 50s!!

[crypt1d-part-2]

I would look so much skinnier if I didn't have boobs

I just wanna cut them off so badd

[crypt1d-part-2]

i need to do my assignment

i just need to do my assignment

i just need to do my assignment

i just need to do my assignment i just need to do my assignment i just need to do my assignment

[crypt1d-part-2]

hey guys

feeling like shit. it set in like ten minutes ago and it feels like i’ve felt this way for hours.

i want something

but i don’t know what

i have a vape. it could be alcohol, but i don’t have access to any. i don’t know if cutting would even help, it never has.

do i want to feel the guilt and shame and disappointment afterwards ?

i would get caught.

my grandmother is dying.

the father i haven’t seen in eight years bought my siblings and i plane tickets to visit them.

[crypt1d-part-2]

🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg 🕯️ -10kg