#the won’t bite meme is like
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fagbearentertainment · 28 days ago
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The urge to take a cutesy animation meme trend and make it about my fucked up ocs 🙏
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hyunpic · 2 years ago
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help he was like enough i am getting out of here NOW!!!
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darkhairedmenrule · 1 year ago
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STARSTRUCK FOR ME?!??
Homie, you don’t have to worry about being overbearing. if you ever want to send in headcanon requests (ficlets are hard for me rn cause Uni is back up again) for Trans Men/Masc things I’m always open for them! You’re more than welcome to go on anon too if you’re not comfy sending asks off anon
I’m glad that my work resonates so much with you, it makes me extremely happy to know that I’ve been able to touch other Trans folks hearts :’) 💕
BRO YOU CANT SAY THAT FJYCDHXY I’m kicking my feet rn. You are so awesome and I’ll try my best to not annoy you🖤
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bruciemilf · 4 months ago
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I know this is a DC blog but I NEED dad Logan. Get that murder teddy bear some kids ASAP.
Fancast + non canon Headcanons ahead.
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BOBBY MY BELOVED / 16
“Sure everything in my life is terrible. But at LEAST I’m gay”
Makes pop culture references Logan doesn’t understand. “Logan threw the first brick at stonewall” “what are you SAYING” “he’s an ally”
Can, will, and has gaslight Logan into thinking he’s homophobic just for not letting Bobby do what he wants
Stole a beer from Logan once and they found him drunk crying at 3 am. He calls Logan to apologize about it. “I’m sO sorryyy. You know I love you??” “Go to bed” “noOoo” Logan is next to him.
Has a secret YouTube channel and everyone watches for Logan interactions specifically
Mabel Pines coded
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KITTY… that’s his half pint your honor. / 17
Logan is terrified. Why are you such an easy kid. Why aren’t you rebelling? Why isn’t defiance bleeding on your fists?
Why aren’t you clawing and biting and snarling for your freedom? Why aren’t you being a kid? Who do I have to skin-
Daughters are not supposed to exist quietly.
I hc that Kitty’s family is extremely unsupportive of her being a mutant, — but they’re just traditional in general. Specifically she’s petrified of being around/existing along men.
Certified babysitter when Logan’s not around. She’s so big sister.
“guys!1!11!!!! mr. Logan said not to do that!1!1!1”
Logan BEGS her to be a shitty teenager for like 10 minutes. Be bratty!!! Tell him to fuck off! Throw a tantrum!!!! “But I’m not a kid.” “You’re MY kid.”
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JUBILEEE daddy’s girl / 15
Problem Child TM
Plays Rock n Roll by Avril Lavigne at 4 am to piss Logan and her siblings off when they annoy her
Grounded all the time but if she fake cries Logan will shamefully relent.
Always puts Logan’s patience to the test because she anticipates him leaving/giving up on her
Foster child with issues. She spent half her life looking for people and the other half being abandoned by them. This won’t be any different.
Except Logan is very good at fighting destiny.
Your honor I don’t CARE Logan is made to be a girl dad!!!!
“On the spectrum. Not saying which one”
STRONG she/they energy
Most affectionate with Logan out of all the kiddos. Her love language is terrible pancake making (Logan eats them anyway) and cat cuddling.
ADHD icon
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LAURA (murder baby) / 7
Brings dead birds/mice to her family members (affectionate)
Charles has the bright idea to enroll her in school with the kids. “It’s important for children to socialize with peers their own ages.” “Can’t socialize if they’re all DEAD.”
That meme of the little boy and his father with an arrow in his shoulder
Youngest child privilege
Steals Bobby’s phone and shoot’s hilariously off angle family vlogs. One of them includes her stealing Logan’s motorcycle while he runs after her
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tiredfox64 · 6 months ago
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Hello! How you doing? I hope you're having a great day :D
I have a small request based on a funny picture I saw on twitter, where reader asks their crush/lover "Do you like sleeping?" and they're like "...yes?" then reader says "Wow, me too... We should try it together sometime"
I just can't choose which mk1 character, since I love all of them lmao. So I'll leave that up to you! Can be with anyone, sfw or not! your pick :p
Nap Time?
Yip notes: Hello! I’m doing alright, hope you are doing lovely (^∇^). This seems like such a fun idea. And you are letting me pick! Got me squealing.
Pairings: Tomas, Havik, Rain, Reiko x Afab reader
Warnings ‼️:NSFW, choking, biting, overstimulation (a bit), many positions
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Tomas
Why would you ever trust Johnny to give you good advice? Trusting Johnny is a gamble, especially when you ask him for dating advice.
You were unsure of how to flirt with someone so you had to ask Johnny for help. And the help he gave you…was in the form of memes from Instagram and Twitter. He swore to you up and down that this would work on Tomas. You believed him, just like that?
So you tried it out. It might kill you to try to flirt but at least you made an effort to do so. You were a little nervous as you approached Tomas who was supervising the initiates. Immediately when he saw you he broke out into a smile. Your heart was going crazy from just looking at him. You didn’t realize the loving look in his eyes every time he stared at you. You two had a casual conversation for a bit, just the usual. You took a deep breath and tried remembering which pickup line you would use on Tomas. Something that will capture his attention but won’t be too forward.
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you asked.
He looked at you, his eyebrow cocked up in confusion, “…yes?”
“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”
That was too forward girl! I thought you would be better than me.
You put your head down in shame before quickly walking off. A walk of shame if you will. That meant however that you missed Tomas’ reaction to your flirting. It was super effective! He knew what you meant because Johnny told him before. Thanks, Johnny. He went from his usual pale self to a shade of pink that only a rose could replicate. You’re just gonna leave him like that? All flustered like you didn’t just ask him to sleep with you. He didn’t know you felt that way about him.
You left him in an uncomfortable position. He couldn’t go find you because he had to supervise the initiates. But he was also trying to keep his composure and not think too much about being in bed with you. He can’t think about how his hands would be all over you, feeling your soft skin as his body is pressed against yours. Ah, too late he’s hard just from that. Pathetic. Better hide that.
The moment the initiates were done training he went looking for you. You were in your room, groaning into your pillows from the embarrassment you still were feeling. You thought this memory would haunt you forever. Oh how wrong you were.
Tomas was knocking on your door, still trying his best to keep his composure. You got up and opened the door. Before you could try to apologize for what you said he asked you something.
“Were you being serious? Please tell me you were being serious.” He said in desperation.
You were shocked. The pickup line worked? And he wanted you to be serious? Alright, ain’t you a winner.
You nodded your head and that’s all Tomas needed. He pushed his way into your room and only then did you notice his boner. It’s really hard to hide it with the uniform he has on. Well, go on, fix it. You started the war you better finish it. Get in bed! Scratch that, he will carry you to bed.
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Your groans of embarrassment soon became groans of pleasure. And pants. And moans. And whimpers. Everything actually.
The pickup line sure did work. It got Tomas into bed with you, naked and desperate to pleasure himself with your body. You heard him groan and whimper every time he thrusted into you. He had you on your side with his chest pressed against your back and his hand on your thigh. He held your right leg up to have easier access to your pussy. His other arm was wrapped around your neck. He wasn’t choking you but holding you in place. He could choke you if that’s what you want.
You had no idea how long you guys were at it. It was like one second he was carrying you to your bed, the next he was ripping your clothes off, and now he had his dick inside of you. The dick must be good considering you were drooling in seconds and could only focus on how much he was stretching you out.
Don’t count yourself short because Tomas is just as dazed as you. Your pussy was as warm and tight as he imagined. When he first slid his cock in he let out a satisfied sigh, like he was relieved to feel your pussy squeezing him. The passion he was putting into each thrust was phenomenal. It’s like he was trying to fuck his love into you. That love sure was hitting your g-spot and making your moans go up a pitch. Soon your leg was shaking and you were telling him not to stop. He wasn’t planning on it. Tomas was as close as you were.
That pleasure was becoming greater and you both couldn’t handle it. One more deep thrust into you and you both were finished. You heard Tomas let out whimpers and moans as he came inside you. He was still thrusting a little which pushed the cum further into you. You would have been moaning as well if it weren’t for the fact that Tomas started choking you with his arm. You were not complaining. The lack of oxygen with your orgasm was the best feeling you have ever had. You could have sworn that the heavens opened and you were looking at the angels who looked down at you and asked ‘Is he gonna put a ring on it?’ Tomas better put a ring on it because you don’t ever want him leaving your side. Neither does he.
Tomas finally let you breathe once he realized he was choking you which you thanked him for doing. Like the gentleman he is he checked and asked if he hurt you anywhere. You told him to not worry and that you were fine. Once that was over he pulled you close to him and gave you kisses all over your face. He could stay here for hours with you so he could cuddle and kiss you. That lovemaking session sure did a number on you guys. It tired you out that you were soon falling asleep in his arms.
Looks like you slept with Tomas in both ways.
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Havik
You’re trying to flirt with Havik? Right…how well do you think that will go for you?
Havik is not an idiot but some things go flying over his head. Using unfamiliar terms might not hit the mark. You have to be blunt essentially. But it’s hard to be blunt about wanting Havik to be your partner and asking to have sex with him. Whoever could do that is a maniac or just extremely bold. That’s not you. So the best you could do is flirt and hope it hits the mark.
You approached him as he was in the middle of looking at weapons. That mace is looking really nice to him. Whatever, you’re there now and you seem to be asking for his attention. Not literally, you were actually staring up at him until he noticed your presence.
“What?” He asked.
“I have a question for you.” You replied in a shy tone.
He fully turned his attention towards you, curious as to what you had to say considering you never got this shy before.
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?”
“…yes, why do you ask?” Don’t fuck with him. Havik has no clue what you are getting at.
“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”
There was a silence that followed. A long, uncomfortable silence followed as he stared at you. His head tilted to the side a little to indicate his confusion. This might have been a failure on your part. What were you thinking? You turned around to walk away only to be grabbed by the back of your shirt by Havik. He pulled you back and held you up by your shirt. You can’t walk away after saying something so confusing to him.
“What does that even mean?” Havik interrogated you.
You didn’t want to answer him. This situation was already incredibly embarrassing for you and it doesn’t help that he wanted you to explain it to him. You begged him to forget what you said and put you down already. Havik was not gonna listen, even you knew that. He wouldn’t let you down until you told him what you meant. In a moment of chaos and stress you blurted out the truth.
“I want to have sex with you!”
I mean I would have lied but good on you for being truthful.
There was silence once more. You watched as Havik squinted his eyes. You were unsure of what he was doing until you heard him let out a dark chuckle. If his face weren’t mutilated you would be able to see that he was smiling. But since he has a permanent smile on his face it probably works out.
“Why didn’t you say so? We could do that right now.” He said with pure delight. Get to it!
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You knew Havik was a freak but you didn’t expect him to be this freaky. Who would have thought that the first position he would pick to do you in was the mating press.
Eight inches slamming into you, damn! Of course, he was going rough. He pushed your legs back as far as they could go so he could go as deep as he could. You were already crying and panting in the first few minutes. He made sure you kept looking up at him. He wanted to see every expression you made and watch every tear slip down your face. Watching your eyes roll back every time he slammed into your g-spot made him want to devour you even more.
Havik was beyond reason. His mind was only on one thing and that was fucking your pussy. You had to stay exactly how he wanted to. Every time you tried to look away from him he grabbed your face and forced you to look at him again. He wouldn’t let go until he got a nice reaction out of you.
“Aww, what a pretty face. I wonder what face you will make when I do this?”
You felt his hand wrap around your throat. Your eyes widened as you stared up at him. The excitement in his eyes was apparent. He squeezed tighter and went rougher. With the position you were in combined with everything else he was doing; it was no shock that you ended up cumming. Strained moans left your mouth as your eyes rolled back. Drool and tears were slipping down your face. Your hands could not take Havik’s hand away from your throat. You were forced to cum on his cock as he choked the life out of you. Sounds started to grow duller but the orgasm you felt was heightened. Every stroke was felt, his dick was hitting every spot down there. You could not ignore the painful pleasure you felt. And when it seemed like you were about to pass out, he let go.
You were trying to catch your breath but it was difficult since he was still fucking you. You were catching your breath in between moans and pants that were hoarse from being choked. Luckily for you, he was close. One, two, three more thrusts and he was golden. He slammed so hard and deep inside you that you could have sworn that he hit your cervix. Havik let out this loud groan that seemed to drag out. His tongue stuck out, causing some of his saliva to drip down onto you. Oh, he was satisfied alright.
Once his little moment of nature’s pleasure was over he pulled out and immediately collapsed onto you. He wrapped his arms around your waist. Tonight, you will be his pillow. You have no choice he is too big to move. Plus he wants to stay in this position with you. You are his girlfriend now. You both had sex that’s how it goes, at least in his head that’s how it works. You heard him lightly snore away. You were happy with the outcome of your pickup line. It worked incredibly well. You slowly started to fall asleep as you held Havik in your arms.
Be careful he drools in his sleep. Wait, never mind, he’s chewing on your titty in his sleep. That’s a bigger issue. At least he does it lightly.
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Rain
Ah, going after the high mage himself. It’s an interesting choice to pick a man who might have never felt the touch of a woman other than his mother.
If only you had his confidence you could be better when it comes to flirting with him. Hiding behind a pillar and watching him do magic does not count as flirting. You can talk to Rain but if you try to suggest something or flirt you freeze up. He’ll ask you if you’re alright, you’ll lie and say you’re fine before walking off, and the cycle repeats.
But maybe this time will be different. When the tournament was going on you heard in the background one of the Earthrealmers, probably Johnny, using a certain pickup line on Kitana. It seemed to work since it got a laugh out of her. So it has to work for you, right? You could only hope that this man will get it.
The next time you saw him you ran up to him with a smile on your face. Rain was delighted to see you again. You always manage to make him feel warm on the inside. You get him thinking about you instead of his studies or his duties. You’ll most likely do the same right now. The conversation is going well and you’ve made him smile. Go in for the kill!
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you asked awkwardly.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “…yes? I would imagine everyone does.”
“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”
The silence was loud.
“You have your own bed, why would you need to sleep together?”
For a smartass he sure can be a dumbass.
You were beyond crushed. Just like usual you froze up. You didn’t give Rain a chance to ask if you were okay, you walked off quickly. You left him standing there, confused and unsure if he did anything wrong.
The rest of the day went on. You stayed hidden in your room after that embarrassing fail. Rain consulted with Mileena and Kitana about what just happened. He went on and on about how he didn’t understand what you meant. He was confused about why you wanted to sleep in his bed. When Kitana asked exactly what you said Rain relayed the pickup line. In a matter of seconds, Kitana and Mileena’s faces changed. They knew what you meant. Rain saw the look they were giving him and asked what was wrong now.
“Rain,” Kitana started, “She was flirting with you.”
“She was asking to sleep with you. You know…” Mileena made the gesture with her fingers that indicated what she meant.
Computing…computing…loading…load-SEX! YOU MEANT SEX!
“By Argus, why didn’t she just say that!?” Because that’s not casual, Rain.
Rain booked it out of there, almost forgetting his water staff in the process. He was at your door in minutes. He kept banging on it with little regard for his hand. You groaned as you picked your head up from your bed. You quickly opened the door thinking there was an emergency.
“Be more direct next time.” Rain said as he pushed his way into your bedroom.
Shall we begin the party?
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He can be an idiot at times he will admit that. Let him make it up by taking care of you.
You were facing Rain as he had you on his lap. He thrusted into you mindlessly while his mouth was occupied with your nipple. Everything about you was soft to him. He couldn’t get enough of your skin. His hands wandered all over before wrapping his arms around your waist. Occasionally his hands would move down just to get a handful of your ass. It’s too tempting how could he not squeeze it.
Your breasts were doing wonders for this man. The moment he saw them he pulled you in so he could shove his face in between them. He looked so peaceful as he sucked on your nipple. Your breasts have become his new happy place. Your fingers ran through his hair which made this more pleasurable for him. He doesn’t want this to end.
You sure were enjoying yourself. With the position you were in you were sitting right on seven inches. Seven inches that was going in and out of you at a steady rhythm. Don’t forget the fact that your clit was being rubbed every time he thrusted into you. Hell even when he took a breather and you would start grinding, your clit was getting the attention it needed. You were in a drunken daze, whimpering and pants with each thrust. It felt like his cock was reaching into your stomach. Every time he hit your g-spot you would twitch and bring his face closer to your breasts. You’re suffocating the poor man but he loves it.
Why Rain is so good at this is a mystery. A mystery you don’t care to solve you are happy with living in this cock drunken state.
This party must come to an end. You both had your fun and you couldn’t hold back your orgasm. You felt Rain’s cock twitch inside you, letting you know he was close. You made him look up at you. You saw how his eyes twinkled when he stared up at you. That look encouraged you to start kissing him passionately as the orgasm hit you both. Hot strings of cum shot into you as your pussy clenched around his cock. Both your moans were being muffled by the kiss luckily.
He held you in his arms for a while as your both caught your breath. You got off his lap and immediately collapsed onto your bed. Rain quickly came to your side and brought you in close. He had your head resting on his chest, allowing you to listen to his heartbeat. His heart was beating for you.  
What a romantic evening.  
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Reiko
Going after a man who only knows war? You’re just brave at this point.
This has to be easy, right? Not many ladies are brave enough to ask out any Outworld soldier, let alone the lieutenant himself. The girls who were brave enough to ask Reiko out were either turned down or he didn’t understand what they were doing. The fact is there are no other ladies trying to go after your man. They see it as a losing game while you see it as a challenge.
You spotted him out on the training grounds with other soldiers. You ran nearby and watching from a distance as he took down his fellow soldiers. Once Reiko noticed that you were there you waved him over. He told everyone to take a quick break as he walked over to you. Once he was right in front of you he questioned why you were around and why you seemed to be waiting for him. You told him you had a question for him.
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you said with some confidence.
“…yes? Sleep is important to a man like me.”
“Wow, me too…we should try it sometimes.” You finished with less confidence.
“You don’t want to sleep with me.”
“Oh…” You were quiet for a bit before deciding to walk off.
His skull is too thick I fear.
Reiko stared at you before turning around. His soldiers looked at him like he was crazy. He asked them what they were looking at. They started yelling at him that he fumbled so hard. They asked if he really didn’t want to have sex with a pretty lady like you. They said Reiko was so lucky to be flirted with by you.
“Sex? She didn’t ask to have sex with me. She asked to sleep with me.” He replied.
“It’s the same thing!” They yelled back in unison.
“That’s just stupid! If she just said sex I would have said yes!” Too late, idiot!
Reiko was upset by everyone and everything. He decided to visit you once he was done training with the other soldiers. He found your home and like the weird brute he is, he climbed up to your window. You heard tapping at your window as you were getting ready for bed. You were surprised to see Reiko at your windowsill. You opened the window immediately to let him in.
“Is it really that difficult to ask for sex?” For a man like him, probably not.
You don’t need to do much to get Reiko started, your nightgown was doing the work for you.
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Oo look how strong Reiko is. Holding you up as he fucks you against the wall, show off.
He needed to show you how much of a man he was. He’s an idiot, not a heathen who doesn’t need sex. Everyone needs a little bit of fun.
His lips were attacking your lips in a rough kiss as his body pinned your body against your bedroom wall. He held onto your legs and kept them wide open as he thrusted into you. His thrusts were angled a little to allow him to rub against your clit. When it comes to sex, Reiko gives it his all. He never wants to lack. So he’s gonna make sure this will be a night you remember.
You sure will remember. Your pussy will definitely remember and crave his cock again. You will remember how its curved shape was a glorious feeling. Combined with his thick size you won’t be needing any other man. He stretched you out that the pain was pleasurable.
Reiko is a rough lover in general so his thrusts were just as rough. All you can hear is the sound of skin slapping, wet sounds, and heavy breathing. You felt his teeth lightly biting down on your lower lip. He didn’t want to ruin your perfect lip so he moved down to your neck. His teeth sank into your soft skin, littering it with marks. Bite marks were appearing all over your neck and shoulders. Each time he marked you his tongue would run over the mark he just made.
“You’re going to look so pretty when I’m done with you. Can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions when they see that you’re my lady now.” He is such a cocky bastard.
You were loopy but were on cloud nine. The pain and pleasure were a devious combination. It’s a high. A high you could only get from Reiko. He is your drug that leaves evidence of his effects on you.
Highs have to end eventually. You started panting fast as you got closer to cumming. Reiko watched your face as he went faster. Your head went back against the wall while your eyes began to shut tight. Your lovely moans came flowing out of your mouth and into Reiko’s ears. He thought the only noise he ever liked was the sound of his enemies dying. But it seems like you’ve proven him wrong.
Your body went somewhat limp but he still held you up. He’s not done yet. He was still pounding away, feeling how your pussy grew wetting to the point it was dripping. He made you stare up at him as he kept fucking you. He wanted to watch you lose yourself more from this. The sight of your eyes growing wet from being overstimulated was delicious to him. It was enough to send him over the edge. You saw the satisfied smile on his face as his cum filled up your pussy. He was trying to shove it as deep as he could like he was trying to mark you even more.
He held you in his arms as he pulled out. His cum was dripping out of you and onto the floor. Whatever, you guys can clean it up in the morning. You both need rest after that rough session. He placed you lightly on the bed before getting in himself. He laid on his back with one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around your body. Reiko was a satisfied man. What would make him even more satisfied was if you asked to be his girlfriend. You need to be blunt when you ask that one.
Give this man a cigarette he is giving off that energy.
Yap notes: WOO DOGGY THAT WAS A LOT. Had to put my mind into it. Thank you for letting me pick I’m glad to do more of my favorite/ underrated men! It was enjoyable to write. Now I need a nap. Adiós!
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muffinsin · 2 months ago
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JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING AN I IMMEDIATELY HAD TO ASK, imagine reader being in Ethan's position kind of and having to escape the dimitrescu castle, and when the sisters try to capture them the reader bites the sisters , I just thought it was funny because imagine the tables getting switched and biting a vampire back, reader not putting up with it and is just like "now I'm gonna bite you back" 😭
-mountain anon ⛰️
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Haha, I love this one XD poor bugs just..malfunction. Give them 1-3 business days to recover😬!
Turning this into a meme reaction HC post again
Slightly earlier post!👀
Masterlists
Bela
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As you run, you notice Bela closing in on you rapidly
The castle’s size and complexity proves to be to your disadvantage, while it plays perfectly into her cards
New halls and rooms pop up suddenly, shortcuts which she abuses to catch up to you easily, even when you desperately shoot at every window you find
Again, she’s catching up to you
You’re sure the exit is close, but she’s simply too fast, keeps catching you off guard and circling around you using the confusing layout of the place
She somehow always finds her way to the front, ready to cut you off as though she’s trying to lure you somewhere
To your death, you’re sure
You almost make it to the door when, suddenly, she pops up from a side hallway again and you practically run into her, instead
You gasp, and she laughs sadistically
You barely manage to fight her off when she leans in for your neck, her sharp teeth bared
In the last moment you manage to push her back, though find yourself shoved against the nearest wall still
And the blonde vampire-like woman?
She’s back on you in an instant, her teeth on display again
She’s leaning back, ready to push her head forward and dig the sharp, dagger-sharp, teeth into your neck
Then, you notice the position has her neck bared for you, instead
You act fast, leaning forwards instead of trying to run
It’s a little difficult with the choker in the way, but you manage nonetheless
Your teeth make contact with her neck, biting down hard instead
You hear a cut off gasp, and a sickle dropping to the floor in surprise. She’s shivering, you notice, and feel her hardened nipples poke through the fabric of her dress and against your chest
When you pull away, you find her golden eyes wide, her mouth opening and closing every few seconds
She scowls, then, as though reminding herself of her task, and you act fast yet again
Another gasp is heard when you grab the back of her neck and pull her to you, your teeth digging in yet again
Despite her strength, her neck is petite, her skin sensitive
You’re bold enough to tighten your hold on her, keeping her sensitive neck right in place for you
Then, it’s your turn to gasp
She dissolves into what must be hundreds of flies, buzzing wildly
She doesn’t attack, though, as you’d expect
Instead…she’s fleeing?
You giggle to yourself as the swarm rounds a corner and the noises slowly quieten down
Cassandra
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You don’t know for how long she’s been chasing you already
Chase, yes
She doesn’t catch you, not yet
She’s playing with you, you’re sure of it
For each time she catches up, she swings and just barely catches your arm with her sharp blade, then allows you to run along
You’ve made it into the castle, now desperately need to escape
Alas, the woman isn’t giving up
You’re her prey, and she won’t let you get out
She’s back on you, chasing after you quickly
Thankfully, it seems speed isn’t her speciality. Judged by how she easily bruised your arm with a single tug, though, you’re sure strength is
Still, she’s fast, knocking all your obstacles to the side easily as she chases you
You see your opportunity already- the courtyard
While you know it isn’t a way out, the cold from outside should buy you some time
After all, if she is to catch up with you, she’ll have to go all the way around
You rush towards the wide doors, your hand nearly grazing the knob already…
Then, you’re tugged back, your entire body jerking and curling up to save yourself some pain when you’re shoved to the floor
She’s on you in an instant, laughing sadistically and licking the air between you playfully
“I can smell your fear!”, she says, laughing as though in enjoyment
She inhales sharply, as though to add to her point
As she laughs and smiles widely again, you see the sharp teeth almost shine
Your entire body aches from the pain, but you know exactly what’s coming next still
Instead, you decide to surprise her
Leaning up, you grab onto the back of her head, grabbing a fist full of dark hair and tugging her down
She shrieks, then gasps when you sink your teeth into her neck, instead
While you can’t see it, Cassandra’s face heats up hot red, her cheeks and neck entirely pink and contrasting her normally so pale skin
You bite hard, even more so when you hear her sickle drop next to you
She’s tense, but you feel no pain coming your way
Then, when you let go and immediately bite back down, you hear it
A moan, breathy and low, from the woman hovering over you
You raise an eyebrow, drawing more moans from the woman the more and harder you bite
You notice her thighs clench at your sides, as if with the desire to push together
She’s warmer, breathier, almost needy, it seems
When you pull away you tug her hair back gently, making her face you
Only is her face completely flushed, warm and pink, blood and drool sticking to her lips
Her golden eyes are wide and dark
You gulp
Daniela
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This one’s fast, chasing after you with sweet words falling from her lips
She coos and giggles, hums and taunts you
She’s fast, likes to surprise you
She doesn’t kill you, though
No, she’s playing with you
Often, you feel her hands sliding against your arms, touching, groping, feeling the skin and muscles through your torn clothing
Sometimes, her sickle digs in, which has you scream and stumble faster than before
And still, she has no trouble catching up
Only when you shoot the windows does she back off, smart to stay behind
You don’t bother going after her. You just want out
When the cool air backs her into a corner, you run fast, hoping to outrun her at last
As you run, you see the exit already, the courtyard the only thing in your path
You hope she won’t dare follow you there, but are quickly proven wrong
Already in the doorway you feel her against you again, shoving you forwards hard enough to have you drop your gun
She’s on you in an instant, pinning you down on the cool, marble floor
“I found youu~”, she draws out, her voice light and teasing
You flinch back when she bites the air just above your face, giggling to herself
“We’ll have so much fun, my love!”, she hums, as though lost in her own little world
She leans down to you and you suddenly feel her cool breath against your neck
You’re shivering, then gasp at the feeling of her sharp teeth dragging against your skin
Her intention is clear, yet you’re determined to take her by surprise
Just when she leans in again you take advantage of the proximity
She squeaks when you lean up and bite at her neck, sinking your teeth in sharply
“Ah! Lo-ove!”, she whimpers
From the corner of your eye you see her arms tremble, then feel her collapse on you, shivering and moaning on top of you
You realize, the woman’s neck must be one of the more sensitive parts of her, and in her delusion she doesn’t at all suspect you might have bad intentions
You know, to escape you ought to use her delusion and the cold environment to your advantage and drive something sharp into her neck
Alas…you feel pity
Instead of pain, you give her pleasure, biting and sucking, even placing a small kiss to her neck when you’re done
When you face her again, her face is flushed and pink, and her eyes are wide
You have no time to react when she grips you by the shirt, giggling as she drags you with her happily
“We’ll be together forever!”
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tikosblogg · 4 months ago
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A Helping Hand
Part 2 Here
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Summary: you’re in college, still a virgin and frustrated. You just wanna know what sex is like. Noah wants to offer his help.
Warning: oral (f receiving), fingering.
A/N: college boy Noah. HOT AF. Not proof read I apologize for any mistakes. Please enjoy.
The air in the apartment was thick with laughter and the scent of popcorn as me and my only two friends on campus lounged on the couch, binge-watching a new series. The conversation had turned to relationships—everyone was discussing their latest crushes and dating escapades.
I listened, a bit detached, nursing a twinge of envy. The thought of my virginity weighed heavily on my mind.
"I want to know what it’s like," I sighed, glancing down at my half empty drink. "I don't want to be a virgin anymore."
My friends exchanged glances, and Clara leaned in closer, a mischievous glint in her eye.
"You know, I heard about that guy on campus, Noah Sebastian. He's supposed to be amazing in bed. I’ve heard stories, you should ask him." I rolled my eyes, feeling my insides flutter at the name.
"I am not gonna ask Noah Sebastian to fuck me. I don’t want to feel like some charity case." I sighed. If He asked me, you bet your ass I’d let him. But sadly I’m also aware, that he is way out of my league. Hence why he hasn’t asked me.
I’ve been around him and his friends at parties a bunch of times. We even had a nice long conversation one time about our favorite music. Yet he always found a girl the complete opposite of me to take home.
"Come on! It’s a great way to break the ice," Layna smiled nudging me playfully. "You’d be in good hands!"
I hugged my knees to my chest. "I don’t know. He’s had plenty of chances to ask me, and he hasn’t. He isn’t interested. I’ll probably just go out and find someone at one of the bars in town.”
They both smirk at each other, before quickly changing the subject. I decide to let it go, and join their new conversation. A couple hours later, I walked them to the door, as they gathered their things to leave. Layna turned towards me, pulling me into a hug. “Please just think about asking Noah. I promise you won’t regret it.” Clara nodded, hugging me as well.
I sighed nodding my head. “Yeah yeah, I’ll think about it.” I waved them off as they drove away, making my way back into the apartment. That night I stayed up late, looking up Noah’s socials, going through his pictures like a stalker. “God why are you so hot.” I mumbled under my breath. There is noway I’m asking him.
I entered my apartment, tossing my keys onto the counter. The glow from the livingroom lamp casting a warm hue in the quiet apartment. I settled into the couch, flipping through channels aimlessly as I tried to shake off feelings of loneliness.
Each ding of my phone caught my attention, but I dismissed the notifications as my friends being typical sent: memes, inside jokes, and rants about the day.
Suddenly, a knock echoed through the silence. I glanced at the clock—it was unusually late. Hesitantly, I stood up and opened the door, and my heart nearly stopped. There stood Noah, looking hot as usual.
“Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting,” he grinned, his eyes casting down, and slowly back up my body. Confusion washed over me, as I struggled to respond. "Clara and Layna sent me." He chuckled, as my face fell in shock.
My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I remembered our conversation from a few nights ago. “Oh… wow, um, yeah I’m sorry for… this," I stammered. "I didn’t know they’d... well, um…" I trailed off, feeling anxious and down right humiliated.
He chuckled softly, his presence magnetic, making it hard to look away. “It’s alright.”
I shifted, biting my lip, an apology spilling out. "I really didn’t mean for them to set this up. I’m just—I'm…you really don’t have to be here."
“No, I’m mean it’s okay. No pressure, but I’m glad they sent me,” he assured gently, taking a step closer. “I want to be here. And honestly? I’d love to help you.”
My heart raced as I processed his words. This impossibly sexy guy, the one everyone talked about, wanted to help me. The weight of my own inexperience settled heavily on my chest, embarrassment mixing with excitement.
“Noah, I’m really shy about all this. I haven’t—”
“Y/n,” he interrupted softly, tilting his head slightly. “We can take it slow. I want to make sure you’re comfortable. I won't do anything you don’t want to.”
His genuine tone wrapped around me like a warm blanket, easing my anxiety. “What if I mess it up, and completely embarrass myself?” I whisper, my face on fire at this point. “I promise, it’s not about perfection. It’s about enjoying the moment. And trust me, the right person makes all the difference.”
The room felt charged with tension, uncertainty melted into curiosity. I took a deep breath and gestured for him to come inside. As he stepped in, I felt a rush of disbelief. This was really happening.
Noah looked around the apartment, his gaze landing on me with an intensity that sent my heart fluttering. “So, what do you want to do first? You’re in complete control right now. We can take it slow tonight. start with the small things, and then next time we can a little further.” he smiled, his voice low and inviting.
I searched his gaze, finding kindness and patience. Next time? He wants to come back? My body fidgeted as I took a step closer. “Um I really don’t even know how to start..” I whispered, my shyness slowly overtaking me.
He smiled, and the warmth in his expression reassured me. “We can take all the time we need. Do you want me to take the lead?” His voice was low and smooth, carrying an invitation wrapped in gentle authority.
I looked up at him, his deep brown eyes searching mine, and felt a rush of warmth spread through me. My heart pounded in response, whispering its consent even before I found the words to say it. Nodding slowly, I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness coil within me.
With a soft smile, Noah took my hand, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt of comfort through me, as he guided me to the couch, the plush fabric a welcoming embrace as I sank into its depths. He threw a behind my head, resting it on the back of the couch. His grip remained gentle yet firm, a reminder of his steady presence.
“I promise I’ll take care of you,” he assured me, his voice rich with sincerity. “And if you ever want me to stop, you just say the word, okay?” I nodded again, a small but powerful gesture, and felt a wave of relief wash over me. I was safe here with him.
He leaned closer, his hand gently cupping my cheek, sending another rush of warmth through me. Our eyes locked, and Without breaking our gaze, he began to lean in, and instinctively, I tilted my head to meet him, closing the distance.
His lips brushed softly against mine, a tentative exploration, as if tasting the sweetness of the moment. The kiss deepened gradually, shifting from tender to a more passionate embrace. I found myself melting into it.
He pulled back slightly, and I could feel my breath quicken. The warmth of his palm still lingered on my cheek, and I craved more of his touch. “You okay?” he asked, his voice a blend of curiosity and concern.
I nodded again, a smile breaking across my lips, unable to find words that could capture how I truly felt.
Noah leaned in again, claiming my lips with a newfound urgency that sent my heart racing. I surrendered to the moment, letting him lead. I melted into him, as his hand slowly crept up my thigh, squeezing gently.
A whimper escaped my lips, surprising even me, but it drew a teasing smile from him as he pulled back just enough to look into my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching upward in that way that made my wet core throb. His gaze was soft, and teasing an invitation to share my thoughts, and yet I felt my cheeks heat up.
With a shy nod, I felt a rush of warmth trickle through me. I was fumbling with my words, my heart racing as he challenged me to speak. “I—I…” I stuttered, feeling the weight of his gaze. “I feel really good.”
His smile widened at my confession, and he leaned in closer, brushing his lips against mine in a soft, lingering kiss before trailing them down my throat. A soft moan escaped me, unexpected yet welcome, as I let my fingers find their way into his soft brown hair.
I gripped it gently, feeling the softness between my fingers, grounding me in this moment that felt unreal.
“Good? Just good?” he whispered, his breath warm against my skin, sending shivers through me. He licked, and nipped along my neck, each time igniting a fire in my veins. I could hardly keep the gasp at bay as his lips danced over sensitive spots, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.
“More than good,” I finally managed to reply, my voice barely above a whisper, caught between vulnerability and desire. The honesty in my words caused his teasing demeanor to shift, his eyes darkening with something deeper, something more serious.
He raised his head, his eyes locking with mine, stripping away the teasing to reveal a sincerity that made my heart flutter. “I want to make you feel amazing,” he said softly, his thumb brushing lightly over my inner thigh, so close to where I really needed him. “Tell me what you want.”
His words hung in the air, and I could feel the weight of them. My breath hitched, and I felt a blend of excitement and insecurity. I wanted him to keep kissing me, to keep this connection alive. “Just—keep doing that,” I whispered, motioning towards his hand on my thigh, my voice cracking just a bit. “But…but higher.” I whispered. 
Noah grinned, a spark of mischief igniting in his eyes. His hand slid up the rest of the way, his thumb pressing directly on my swollen clit through my shorts. “Right there?” His voice was low, and teasing.
His eyes never leaving my face. I let out a whine, nodding my head, as he once more dove back in, planting soft kisses all over my neck and jaw, eliciting soft sounds from me that filled the otherwise quiet living room. With every kiss, and stroke of his thumb, I felt myself unraveling, losing the grip of shyness and diving deeper into the growing intimacy between us.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured against my skin, his words swirling around us that made my heart race. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Noah slips from the couch next to me, moving with a sense of purpose that sends a flutter of anticipation through me.
He kneels between my thighs, the warmth of his presence enveloping me as he gently pushes me back until my back rests against the plush fabric of the couch. Pure excitement courses through my veins.
“You want me to take these off?” he asks, his voice low and smooth. I nod my head, unable to form words, my heart racing at the thought of what might happen next. There’s a moment of stillness, as if time itself is holding its breath in anticipation.
With careful hands, Noah reaches for my shorts, and slowly pulls them down, and off. There’s a sense of vulnerability, a rawness in the air. My breath catches, and I can feel the pounding of my heart echoing in the silence that surrounds us.
He gazes at me, his eyes sweeping over my form, a mixture of admiration and desire illuminating his features.
Once my shorts are gone, his eyes land on my undeniably soaked panties, and I feel a surge of warmth flood my cheeks.
There’s something in the way he looks at me – not just with hunger, but with a deep appreciation that makes me feel confident. The moment stretches, electric and charged, and I can see the unspoken questions dancing in his gaze.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice softer now, checking in as if the weight of the moment bears heavily on him too. I nod again, feeling any nervousness fade slowly. His presence is grounding, and I find comfort in his gentle demeanor.
He takes his time, studying me as if he’s tracing the shape of my form with his eyes. A shy smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, and I can’t help but feel a sense of empowerment.
“You’re soaked baby,” he groans. His thumb stroking down the wet patch of my panties, mixed with the pet name, sending flutters through my stomach, igniting a warmth that spreads throughout my body.
He leans in closer, and I can feel the heat radiating from him, hitting my aching cunt. Our gazes lock, before he grips my thighs, pulling them further apart. His lips ghosting my core before placing the softest kiss against it. The soft action sending a desperate whine flying from my lips.
I looked down at him, my breath hitching as he looked up from between my thighs. His deep brown eyes sparkled with mischief and affection, a teasing smile playing at the corners of his mouth. The vulnerability in that moment was intoxicating.
"What do you want?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper, sending shivers down my spine.
I felt another soft whine escape my lips, a plea both innocent and desperate. "Please Noah... take them off," I managed to murmur, the words barely forming as they left my lips.
Noah’s smile widened, illuminating his features with a warmth that made my heart flutter. He leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on my thigh. The sensation was electric, igniting every nerve ending in my body.
There was a playful glimmer in his eyes as he slid his fingers beneath the waistband of my panties, moving slowly as if savoring every second. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, the anticipation building with each deliberate movement.
Time seemed to slow as he carefully pulled them off, exposing my wet folds to the cool air of the room.
His touch was featherlight, and every instinct in me screamed to draw him closer, to press deeper into the moment. I offered a shy smile, nodding my head encouraging him to continue. Noah’s gaze held mine as he removed the last barrier between us, dropping them to the floor beside the couch.
"Fuck baby," he whispered, his voice a husky murmur that sent a thrill coursing through me.
He bent forward, wrapping his hand softly around my throat, before pulling me forward into a messy kiss. His tongue licked into my mouth, tasting every inch of it. He pulled away, releasing my throat.
His lips dropped down trailing soft kisses along my inner thigh, as his fingers reached up softly rubbing up and down my slit, making whine his name. He paused, looking up at me with that beautiful teasing smile. “You like that baby?” I nodded, my hips bucking slightly.
“Please Noah.” He laughed softly, before slowly reaching up, shoving two of his long fingers, into my mouth. I licked, and sucked on them until they were covered in my spit.
He bit his bottom lip, as he watched me before slowly pulling them out.
Without another word, he ran his wet finger down my slit, and back up softly circling my swollen clit. He watched my reactions closely, with a small smile.
He slid them back down before slowly sinking his middle finger deep inside me. I let out a loud moan, gripping the couch cushions beneath me. “Feel good baby?” He groaned, like he was experiencing just as much pleasure, while doing it.
I slowly ground my hips against his finger nodding my head. “Fuck…yes” he nodded before pulling it out, and shoving in his ring finger in with it. I whimpered at the stretch.
His fingers reaching deeper inside of me than I ever could. He pumped his fingers a little faster, watching my face for any discomfort. I was losing my mind in pleasure. If his fingers felt this amazing, I could only imagine what his dick feels like.
“You gonna cum for me baby?” He asked, his fingers never slowing down. “Fuck Noah please…please make me cum.” His usual sweet, and playful demeanor suddenly turned dark, as I met his eyes.
His fingers crooked up, hitting that perfect spot, driving me wild. He leaned down, placing a kiss on my throbbing clit, before running his tongue flat from his fingers all the way up to my clit before sucking it into his mouth.
Hips stuttered, as my hands flew to the top of his head. I gripped his hair, tugging on it as he moaned against me, sending vibrations through my clit.
He released with a pop, before flicking it with his tongue softly. “Oh fuck Noah please, right there right there.” I was babbling nonsense over and over, lost in the pleasure of his tongue and fingers.
Noah never let up, pumping his fingers faster. He pressed his tongue flat against my clit, before shaking his head side to side. I instantly lost it, my orgasm hitting its peak. Noah slowed down, and kept a steady pace, and his tongue and fingers continued fucking me through it.
“Fuck baby you taste so good.” He groaned, trying to keep his composure. My thighs shook before closing around his head. When I finally came down, he pulled his lips away, stilling his fingers. I laid there catching my breath, as he sent a proud smile my way. I couldn’t help but smile and blush, realizing what just happened.
I quickly covered my face, laughing softly. He slowly pulled his fingers out, reaching up to remove my hands, before pulling me into another kiss. When he pulled away, he tapped my lips with the two fingers that were just deep inside of me. I opened up, letting him press them against my tongue.
I softly moaned around them, as pulled them out, shoving them between his own lips, cleaning them. I could have came again at the sight. He finally stood back up, sitting back on the couch next to me.
His hand softly gripped my jaw, turning my face towards him “Was that okay?” He smiled, but his question was genuine. The smile on his face was infectious, I couldn’t help but smile myself. “It was amazing.” He let out a soft laugh, leaning down bringing me into another kiss. This kiss was slower but just has needy as the rest. His teeth bit down on my bottom lip, and pulled away letting it pop back in place. “Yeah? You just wait til next.”
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Ectoberhaunt 2023. Day 5. Hunt and Haunt.
~Well, here we go again, good old Ghost Hunger AU~
Description: The Ghost Zone is inherently a violent place. You can hunt or be hunted, there is no other options. However, for some reason the Halfa does not understand what is happening. And no one rushes to explain it. NB! ghost cannibalism is mentioned.
Prompt after memes
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Suppose there’s a conventional division among ghosts. Some of them are potential predators capable of hunting their own kind, while others are only able to absorb the surrounding energy and therefore build up power more slowly than hunters.
So, predation is used as a method of survival in poor ectoplasm areas of the Ghost Zone, less often as a means of gaining power. Even less often hunters are created.
It is obvious that the appearance of a hunter who is the son of human ghost hunters in a haunting place without stable sources of ectolasm has caused panic in the society of the dead ones. For the newly formed ghost to have ectoblasts, fangs or ghost sense is a rarity and great luck. So the newcomer had everything and more to be a serious threat. An awful danger for the surrounding spirits…Right?
But Danny doesn’t know the specifics of his new biology ectology!
Even though he’s a hunter, he’s never had a ghost hunger. Probably because thanks to his parents he has an amazing ectoplasm concentrator in the basement. Soon everyone understands that the boy does not attack first. Those who return through the portal never report any losses at all. He does not bite or attempt to capture cores of other spirits. At first, the ghosts think it's a trap. Smart enough for a beginner. Not everyone has the tenacity to pretend to be an idiot to get close to them. But the Phantom never feeds on them. He’s…safe?
What’s more, Danny seems to think they’re a threat to the city. Which is fun and weird. Normally, there is no competition for feeding using human emotion. But the owner of the lair did not like the smell of fear in the air. Is this ghost broken?
When the ghosts who visit Amity realize that the halfa does not know that he can hunt them, rather than just guard his territory...Well, it explains a lot. Everyone agrees not to explain the situation to the boy so that the city behind the portal remains a relatively safe haven during the during a "hunting season" and other troubles in the Infinite Realms.
~~~~~
The problem arises when Phantom begins exploring the Ghost Zone. What if the other hunters make the boy stop being a freak?
In addition, more experienced ghosts may well attack the careless halfa. And Amity Park under the control of a more predatory spirit would be a terrible outcome. Most dead ones near the portal are used to the fact that the area before Wisconsin is open to travel and migration without the threat of being eaten.
All rational ghosts try to avoid the territory of hunters. If you can’t defend yourself, there’s too much risk of being a free meal. It’s much safer to settle down with spirits with similar energy levels at door clusters. If the hunter does not purposefully show up at your lair, you will have a much better chance of keeping the afterlife.
Those of the Ancients who have won their position and those of them who were created for it have become accustomed to isolation. Although all the Ancients have lost the need to eat 'cause they have absorbed enough energy, legends about their past are still be nightmares for all spirits. Just because they don’t need to eat other ones doesn’t mean they won’t. It is clear that a weaker hunter can also be hunted. No reason to risk.
Therefore, how freely and fearlessly Phantom communicates with Frostbite, Clockwork or Pandora is puzzling. Does he feel threatened at all? The Ancients find this experience refreshing. Lil communication without fear makes them feel sympathy for this youngling. Danny is always glad of their company. And the boy is not afraid to express his opinion. It is strange but...pleasant?
Their minions from time to time complain that they teach a potential enemy but it is very difficult to see a possible rival in Phantom. Danny is always in trouble. The youngster is silly and careless. Like a wet kitten that can’t even make a threatening hiss. So Ancients, to their own surprise, don't mind helping him. Why isn’t his naivety annoying?
For example, Frostbite’s trying to teach Danny hunting and tracking techniques because he thinks the little cub doesn’t know how to be what he supposed to be. Meanwhile Danny sees his attempts as a course of self-defense that he can use against ghosts who try to infiltrate his city.
~~~~~Bonus~~~~~
Some insufficiently powerful ghosts mimic predators to scare away dangerous spirits and protect themselves. Skulker is quite pleased that he managed to deceive halfa:
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dadbodbuck · 18 days ago
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WE'RE BREAKING UP
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WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO ME.
WHY WOULD YOU TYPE THIS WORDS WITH YOUR FINGERS AND THEN PRESS POST.
GET AWAY FROM ME
hi jack unfortunately we got married when you weren't looking so you have to pay for an attorney :/
anyway
Buck texts him I need to talk to you and Christopher knows it’s going to be a bad day. He was actually thinking about coming home over Thanksgiving break—it’s not as clean as going back over Christmas, but he misses Denny (who’s been telling him a lot about his cool new sister during their nightly meme exchange), and he misses his school friends (even if they’re exhausting to be around sometimes), and worst of all he misses his family. He misses his dad, he misses Buck. He even misses Tommy—despite only having met him a few times, he knows he’s been good for Buck and for his dad. 
He liked seeing his dad smiling so much when he first started hanging out with Tommy, before her. He liked the way Tommy talked to him like an adult with his own thoughts and opinions. He liked the way Tommy talked about Buck, even though it was kind of gross seeing a grown man swoon that much.
But then. I need to talk to you. And it all comes crumbling down around him. Buck even has the nerve to follow it up with Can I call you? like some sort of therapist or school administrator. Chris opts for a video call, because he’s not eighty years old, and when Buck picks up, his eyes are bloodshot, his face is pale, and he’s nestled in his bed like a stereotypical teenager girl after she gets dumped.
Oh. Oh no. “What,” Chris says, and he kind of regrets the video call now, because Buck flinches back like he’s been physically hit.
“Uh, hey!” Buck says, trying to recover and failing miserably. The smile he plasters on his face looks so forced it’s painful, “How’s Texas in November treating you?”
Chris looks at Buck and decides to play nice. Just a little. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but you sounded like you had something important to talk about.”
“You’re right,” Buck sighs, “I’m procrastinating. I just wanted to let you know that Tommy and I have decided not to see each other anymore.”
And, yeah, Chris is pretty sure he knew this was coming, but it still makes him want to cry, or bite something, or throw his phone into the lake. “What happened?”
“Well—uh—Chris, I don’t—the details really aren’t important,” Buck says, with a wince, “What is important is that I love you, and your dad loves you, and just because Tommy won’t be around doesn’t mean you won’t have our support. I’m really sorry, bud. I know you liked him.”
It blindsides Chris, and he doesn’t know why. He should’ve seen this coming a mile away. He shouldn’t have gotten attached. He never should have sat down to watch The Batman with his dad and Tommy and stolen Tommy’s popcorn and talked shit on Buck’s taste in Star Wars Prequels. 
“What did you do?” Chris asks, feeling a startling rage building in his throat. It’s familiar, now. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows this is Buck’s fault. Buck looks like a dog that pissed on the carpet and is waiting for you to step on the wet spot.
Buck clears his throat, and visibly weighs truth and comfort in his mind. “I asked him to move in with me. It was—it was too fast—”
“You asked him to move in with you?” Chris balks, “He has a house!”
“I wasn’t thinking!” Buck hisses, “Listen, I know I fu—messed up. I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am, Chris. But it—it was the best decision for both of us.”
“You’re lying,” Chris seethes, because he knows so, so intimately the look of an adult lying to protect his innocence. “He made you happy. He made dad happy.”
Buck looks away, chin trembling, and Chris feels bad for all of three seconds before the rage consumes every other feeling in his chest. “Call me back when you find someone who wants to stay. Otherwise, keep your love life away from me. And maybe you stay away from me too.”
Chris ends the call, and two seconds later Buck is ringing him again. Chris doesn’t pick up, just sets his phone on his desk and buries his face in his arms. He doesn’t want to cry. He did too much of that after he got to El Paso the first time. But he’s going to miss Tommy. He’s going to miss seeing his dad smile like that. He’s going to miss the dopey lovesick way Buck moved through the world.
When Chris finally composes himself, he sees two more missed video calls from Buck, and a string of texts:
Love you, buddy. Sorry you’re upset. Call later to talk? Or call your therapist?
I really am sorry. I thought Tommy was going to stay too.
Text me pls? So I know you’re ok
Chris texts back: im fine. we’ll be fine. i need some time and gets a response almost immediately.
OK. Take the time you need. Your dad says if you decide to come back and you’re still mad you won’t have to see me if you don’t want to
Chris, always being left behind, feels a sick surge of satisfaction at the prospect. He could be the one who leaves. He can cut his losses before they’re fatal, he can amputate the limb before it goes septic. He texts Buck a single k back and does not examine the way something in the back of his head tells him, quite viciously, that this isn’t the first time that Buck’s been left this week.
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hash1ras · 1 year ago
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gojo headcanons ♡ ♡ ♡
by request ୧ ‧₊˚ 🪽 ⋅ ☆
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first off, dude is insanely tall, like 6' 6"
when he pisses you off you call him beanpole (he hates it lmao)
obviously he has the best sense of humor he’s a huge goofball and is literally never serious about anything
will poke your cheek or start tickling you just to get your attention (he’s super needy lmao)
or in the middle of a conversation he’ll just lean over and gently bite your ear like ???? gojo what is wrong with you
loves claw machines and wins every time
your apartment is covered with plushies he’s won for you
he also loves buying you flowers 💐
loves to hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder
will make fun of you for being short and ruffle your hair like a child
you cant reach the top cabinets so you have to ask for his help
“aww sprout, must be tough being so little. you really are so cute”
“shut the fuck up satoru”
huge fan of horror movies
until a really intense jump scare and now he’s hiding behind you on the couch
loves to lay his head on your chest
little spoon little spoon little spoon!!!!!
sends memes like crazy
he won’t actually text you just sends a gif or smart ass text post as a response
if you don’t answer his calls he gets so upset and leaves whiny voicemails
“y/n!?!?!? mon bébé, why do you hate me??”
buys you random trinkets & gifts all the time
loves taking photobooth pictures with you (you have a few posted on your bathroom mirror♡)
loves getting boba and going for walks in the park with you
will always give you piggy back rides if you get tired
he’s the best partner, sweet and goofy, you don’t know how you ever lived without him
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astronicht · 24 days ago
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52 for rosquez please <33
-daisy (@lastlatebraker)
hello!! i love this one lmao: 52. gripping thigh (from this prompt meme)
the swift answer is lol this was vale at home gripping his own thigh angrily while pecco gripped marc's thigh to get the marc marquez taxi service recently. Long answer, vaguely post-reunion:
Marc wakes up softly in the sliding dark, and with a seat-belt biting gently into his neck. For a moment he is too young to be real; a memory rather than a person, expecting Alex small and napping across the backseat of an ancient red Opel Kadett. Expecting, too, daylight, or at least -- as he ages swiftly in his own mind, his life curling back around him -- the bright halogens of an airport arrivals lane. Today, Marc sleeps in cars, but not restfully; he catnaps being ferried from one place to another, maybe. He doesn’t doze off because there is nothing else to do; that’s for planes, now.
Sleeping in this car feels transgressive, and he doesn't recall why until Valentino's hand shifts on Marc's thigh.
He ignores Valentino for now and rolls his head towards the window. The glass is cold; it's December in Italy. Marc wore shorts after he sloughed off his leathers to make Valentino roll his eyes and then watch, and watch, and watch. Sure it's December, but it's nine degrees; he won’t freeze.
There is no sky out the window. Just a wide black gulf and the hum of tyres on the road and the watery whisper of the radio. It’s not a digital radio, so Valentino has managed to set it to slightly between stations. The music is flickering between something Marc doesn’t recognize and a jingle for the neighboring station. He wasn’t even sure this was actually Valentino’s own car until he saw the mess in the backseat. Maybe it could still be someone’s from the ranch, on a long-term, informal loan. People like to give Valentino things.
The wide black gulf out the window isn’t just dark; that’s the sea, Marc realizes. They’ve driven to the coast from Tavullia, which is not so easy to do where Marc is from, but is possible here. He works his mouth. It doesn’t feel like he has to speak. Valentino’s hand shifts just a little on Marc’s thigh; he’s noticed Marc moving, and is holding himself tense. No, alert. Waiting for Marc to do something, or go back to sleep.
It’s very late. Valentino had said, an hour or two ago when it was already late, Let’s go for a drive. Marc had jokingly grabbed a throw pillow off one of the sofas at the ranch and said sure, but he was going to sleep in that car. Someone brave — one of Valentino’s young ranch guys, eating leftovers in the kitchen — had laughed.
Valentino, for his part, had looked delighted, or maybe relieved. He had shuffled Marc quickly into this car, and put his hand on Marc’s thigh, where the shorts were riding up and Marc was still damp from showering off his block of track time. He kept having to remove it to gear shift. Now, Marc saw, Valentino had solved this problem by calmly coasting through roundabouts in fifth.
Out the window, in the wide black, there were a few small lights, far out.
“What’s that, out there?” Marc asked. “An island, or…?” Valentino’s hand twitched again. His thumb stroked Marc once, so high on the thigh it was inexcusable, really. Marc shivered. Felt himself starting to sink into it.
“Ah, no, that’s a cruise ship,” Valentino said.
Marc nodded. “Oh,” he said. His breath fogged on the window.
“You can go back to sleep,” Valentino said.
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ohbabydollie · 10 months ago
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You know those scenes in those old romcom movies where a guy sees his crush and suddenly everything is in slow motion and romantic music is playing in the background?
Imagine that with Schlatt. The scene? A guy is poorly hitting on her and decides to grab her arm to take her out. Before Schlatt and intervene, his crush punches the guy and he stares at her with lovesick eyes as she brutally curses at the creep
this reminds me of the lego batman meme LMAO
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“you mind getting me another drink?” you ask schlatt before he nods and walks away to the bartender
suddenly some creepy dude comes up in his place
“hey sweetheart, what’s a pretty girl like you doing here alone?”
“oh, i’m not alone, my friend is getting me a drink right now” you say with a smile, gesturing to schlatt as the man scoffs
“you don’t gotta lie sweetheart, it’s okay if you’re alone” he says grabbing your wrist before you pull away
“can you not touch me please”you say softly to the man
he rolls is eyes before grabbing you again “c’mon now baby, don’t tell me you’re intimidated by me, i won’t bite unless ya ask me” he says pulling you close
schlatt turns around, your drink in hand and walks closer, now noticing how uncomfortable you look
he’s about to step in before suddenly
“don’t touch ME!” you yell, punching the man square in the nose
the man’s head jerks back and he calls you a crazy bitch before running off as you smile at schlatt who’s now staring at you in awe
schlatt practically hears the music in his head
i just died in your arms to night, must’ve been something you said
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emchant3d · 7 months ago
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💜 Steddie please? - @steddierthings
💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss from this prompt meme for @steddierthings !
Eddie doesn’t mean to do it. 
It’s late. They’re cleaning up in the kitchen after a midnight snack, movie credits rolling in the living room, a pile of blankets abandoned on the couch. Eddie’s been spending a lot of time at the Harrington house lately for reasons he doesn’t want to examine too closely, and each evening it ends like this - the two of them side by side, maybe too close, sneaking looks and making excuses to touch. A lingering hand on an elbow, a brush of fingers when handing over a beer, innocent if not for the heat in their eyes when it happens.
They’re on the precipice of something. Balanced on a cliff’s edge and every evening spent together makes him feel like he’s toeing the edge nearer and nearer to falling. Eddie’s been following Steve’s lead, coming when invited, inserting himself into his space when it seems welcome, tucking himself in close and worming his way into the spaces of Steve’s life that he opens up for him.
He’s not a patient man, never has been, and maybe that’s his downfall this time, maybe that’s what makes this particular night the night, but he can’t help it - it’s so plain to him where this is going, where they’re going to end up, and he wants. His blood burns in his veins, but it isn’t desperation that drives him to do it - it’s just another one of those simple, sweet little touches. His own hand lands on Steve’s back as he comes up behind him, slipping a plate they’d missed into the sink where Steve’s doing the dishes, and Steve turns to give him a little grin, maybe tease him, maybe say thank you, Eddie won’t ever know, because he sees that pretty smile aimed at him, those warm eyes catching his own, and he doesn’t think - he just ducks a bit, and he presses his lips to Steve’s, chaste and quick and sweet.
He’s pulled away before he even realizes what he’s done, halfway across the kitchen before his stomach drops and his face goes hot.
He whips back around, eyes wide, finds Steve staring at him with his mouth dropped open in shock and his gaze still fixed on Eddie. His cheeks are flushed pink, he looks so fucking gorgeous, and panic squeezes Eddie’s heart so fucking tight because fuck, fuck he can’t ruin this, not already, not before it’s even begun. 
“I’m sorry,” he breathes, “I don’t - I didn’t–”
“Don’t,” Steve interrupts, and he turns fully to face Eddie, hands dripping suds onto the kitchen tile, and Eddie’s voice dies with a strangled sound in his throat. “Don’t apologize. Not unless you regret it.” 
“Never,” Eddie says, too fast, shaking his head hard enough to make his hair swing. “I could never regret you.”
Steve holds his gaze and slowly, a smile spreads over his face. “Then get back over here,” he tells him, “and kiss me like you mean it.” And what can Eddie do but obey? He closes the space between them, hands finding Steve’s sides and pulling him in close, laughing when wet hands slide over his shoulders and up into his hair and then they’re kissing, messy and grinning into it, and Steve bites at his lower lip and tugs it with his teeth and Eddie’s laugh turns into a groan.
“Upstairs?” he breathes into Steve’s mouth, and Steve laughs, bright and happy.
“I thought you’d never ask.” He pulls away, takes Eddie’s hand, and pulls him to where they both knew they’d end up eventually.
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Text
Kisses!!!!!! Wally Darling x Gn Reader
The tik tok creator is mentioned on picture. I love this so much I wanted to make a short. I always loved this . Super duper loving fluffffffddd
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You were with Julie and Sally just talking about this cute little meme you saw on tik tok as you showed them. “Oooooo , you should do that to wallllllyyyy,” Sally says smiling brightly. “What???!!! No I can’t do that. We aren’t together and like he definitely probably does not like me,” you say face a bright hue even thinking about it. Julie sighs and pats your back , “ Everyone in the neighborhood knows you have fallen for him and we all can see he likes you, and this is like a perfect way to tell him. We could also record it so you have something to look back on.” You bite your lips debating and sigh. “ Alright , Julie I need some lipstick and Sally music,” you say and the girls squeal going to get the items. You sigh and pray that this won’t backfire like when Wally accidentally ate a lemon.
Later on that day you are waiting at Wally’s favorite apple tree for him to show as normal. Wally was humming and waves upon seeing you . “Well, hello neighbor . How are you today. That’s a lovely shade of red you have on today. Why you all made up?” He asks smiling wide. “ Wally please forgive me for this. Ok girls hit the music,” you say. (Play the tik tok this is what you are doing right now)
Wally is flustered and got a lovesick gaze. “Well neighbor I’m glad you feel the same.” You blush bright red heart beating fast . Wally gives you a kiss this time and Julie screams in background, “I told you soooo (Y/N)” everyone laughs and you just hug the adorable small man to you smiling as wide as him.
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 2 years ago
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Giving Ajax head for the first time
I’ve seen this being written for Xavier, but not Ajax so...here it is!
Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving)
my taglists are here + you can requests here at any time
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my taglists are here + you can requests here at any time —
You, Wednesday and Thing split directions once on the other side of the lake. Wednesday was going to get the flag while you and Thing were going to distract the Jokers.
You grabbed Ajax's arm when he passed by you and pulled him close by his costume.
His lips broke into a smile. ‘’Hi.’’ His hands found your waist, loving the catsuit on you. He leaned to kiss you, but you shook your head.
‘’No kissing. It would give us away.’’
You only had kitty whiskers, a tiny nose and a black top lip, but Ajax’s full face of face paint would turn into a complete mess if you began kissing. Instead, you pushed him against the tree and sank to your knees, taking your boyfriend off guard.
He stared down at you with wide eyes. ‘’W-what are you doing?’’ Ajax asked, breath catching in his throat and stumbling over his words.
You looked up, the sight of you on your knees in kitty ears making Ajax bite back a groan. He wasn’t into furries or anything of the sort, but that damn costume made his pants feel tight — very tight.
‘’What does it looks like?’’ You unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants and boxers down, letting his semi-hard cock feel the outside air. You didn’t want to coerce him into anything he doesn’t want to do, but Ajax was not pushing you away so you kept going.
‘’Out here? In the woo— Ahh.’’ A whimper cut him off when you took him into your hand and worked him to a fully erect state.
Your lips curled into a smug grin, watching Ajax lean back against the tree and biting back sounds of pleasure. The woods was vaste, but echo-y.
Whimpers turned into a moan when your lips wrapped around his weeping cock, the pleasure was intensified since it was his first time getting head.
‘’Mmh, this feels so good.’’ One of his hands found purchase in your hair, but he let you guide the pace, just needing to touch you in some way.
Because of the sucking motion and the mix of spit and pre-cum, your black lipstick was getting all over Ajax's cock...and your mouth. It won’t be a problem for Ajax. He’ll just tuck himself back in and no one will notice the slobby grey on his cock, but there’s no way you’ll be able to conceal what you had been doing to the girls.
Right as Ajax was about to finish, Xavier’s voice echoed, looking for his copilot. ‘’Ajax! Ajax, where are you! I got the flag!’’
Wednesday taglist: @sofiaadler @partyfly @hoodforcalum @thelilacmourning @ellessecretobsession @su-alteza-emia @achoo---uu @not-leaprvt @xaviersgf @peterparkerdilf @roadworkaheadisurehopeitdoes @dragon-chica @coldtacozinepanda @wrldofsage @eddiemunsonsluvrrr @capriaura @officialsaturn @babyfiva @maevaomizzolo @kelloggs-world @whosljt @ajpanda181 @belovedrey @emerycrt @elizabitchsshit @heaven-hiding @lilithlikestoread @est-liber @moonisu @dessxoxsworld @parker-nite @bellblake121890 @vesperazhier @kaldurahms-lover @beeebo234 @nephilimsss @mayuphoenix @sweetheartlizzie07 @watermelon-18 @snixx2088 @555stargirl555 @robinscardigan @chumchum19 @lilttblog @aphex2winn @heizenka @mystargirl-interlude @hwrtsiren @babygirljay20 @wildflowerlyss @strangersomeone @openfandoms @charlottelaffin @iheartmaddyperez @starless-starkov @ali-r3n  @poppet05  @ell0ra-br3kk3r  @rhaenyraswife  @teaganthemorningstar @aphex2winn @moompie  @ifevilwhyhot @oliviah-25 @spenglerslime​ @wetwilliam02​ @yellowcupcakes​ @haileyismoo​ @theyslayallday @wrldofsage @manofworm @rhydianissuperior @supersanelyromantic​ @nicangel13 @toylewestinnyc​ @meme-queen-1999​ @rottenstyx
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matcha-milkies · 2 months ago
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WELL, YOU DID ASK
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Summary: Aboard the Stan-O’-War II, Stan finds out and confronts Ford about his past relationship with Bill.
Alternatively: “Ford, why did Bill call you babygirl?”
Relationships: Sea Grunkles, Bill Cipher/Ford Pines (Mentioned)
Content Warnings: Implied/Referenced Sex
Tags: Humor, Light Angst, Banter
Inspired By: This Meme and This Comic
Word Count: 2,489
Link to AO3: Here
A/N: Yeah it’s been a HOT MINUTE five years since I watched Gravity Falls, and I’m still waiting on my copy of Book of Bill, so I’m sorry if there are any inconsistencies with canon in this. I was riffing hard off of secondhand material lol
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Stan stares up at the top bunk as the room gently sways from side to side, a cabin cradled in the bosom of the ocean. He’s lying face up on his cot, hands on his abdomen, and he’s contemplating something very deeply. It’s unnerving, this thing. He almost wishes he could forget all about it. Almost.
He bites his bottom lip and deliberates over what to do about this. He could just leave it alone. Things have been good lately. Why rock the boat, so to speak? They could go about their day, have their coffee, cast their lines into the sea, fry that leftover kraken meat for dinner. Blegh, he’s so sick of kraken meat. He’s going to have to find a way to season that thing to spice it up a bit or else he’s gonna go crazy. Why do krakens have to be so enormous anyway?
Yeah, he could do that. He could be normal.
After all, if the answer is no, then there’s nothing to worry about in the first place. And if the answer is yes… does he really want to know about it? What is he going to do, where is he going to go from there? Ask for details? He’s racked by a fullbody shudder. As if.
But deep down, he knows he’s kidding himself. If he doesn’t confront his brother, then this is going to linger in the back of Stan’s mind for all of eternity. He won’t be able to look at his twin without pondering all the ‘why’s. Why him? Why didn’t you tell me?
Stan hauls himself to a sitting position and swings his legs over the side of his bunk. He stares at the wall for a little bit, mouth quirked to the side. The Stan-O’-War II creaks, as if it’s also pondering to itself. He can hear his brother rustling papers a ways away in the other room. It’s a small boat. Of course it is. There’s only two of them to man it.
Stan starts to walk into the other room, then turns around and changes course at the last second, heading above deck instead. Hopefully his twin was too preoccupied with his work to notice. Stan walks over to the port side and leans his arms against the railing with a sigh. It’s a nice day out, at least. The sun is shining high in the sky with only a few clouds drifting overhead. They’re somewhere off the coast of Canada.
Somewhere further south but still along the same coast are his great niece and nephew, going to school again. He wonders how they’re doing. He wishes he could call them. He misses them, but he also wants to take his mind off of this. He hears footsteps pacing below deck, probably to grab a book off a shelf or something, because they soon pace right back to where the desk would be. 
Stan lowers his head until his forehead is against the railing and sighs. He’s probably going to have to ask. The thing he’s dreading is knowing that it’s not gonna go over well. He gives it maybe another ten minutes to psyche himself up, then turns and tramps back down the stairs.
Ford is situated at his desk (it’s not anyone’s desk but really it’s Ford’s desk), sifting through some old creased pages that look like they’re about to disintegrate at the slightest breeze. On his right-hand side is a cold, half-finished cup of joe. Occasionally, he mutters something to himself and pens something in his new journal. He’s entirely absorbed. He doesn’t even seem to notice when Stan appears in the doorway and leans his elbow against it.
“Uh, hey, Sixer, how’s it goin’ in here?”
Ford starts. The pen drops from his hand and rolls around on the swaying floor. “Stanley, how many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up like that?”
“I didn’t sneak up on you. I’m notoriously loud. You’re the one with your nose glued to that journal.”
“I–” Ford’s breath catches in his throat before he lets it out in a sigh. “I suppose you have a point. I’m sorry, Stanley. I’m just frustrated at how little progress I’ve made with this. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”
“You know you say that, like, every time we find some weird thing, right?”
“I didn’t think we would encounter this many paranormal phenomena outside of Gravity Falls.”
“Maybe you’re the weirdness magnet.”
“Perhaps both of us are. After all, you were the one living in my shack for all those years pretending to be me.”
“Ha, yeah…” Stan musses his own hair. “Must run in the family.”
“Anyway–” after stooping to pick up the pen, Ford seats himself at the desk again– “you know I always appreciate your company, Stan, but I’d like to make some real headway before dinner if at all possible.”
“Uh, well, actually,” Stan says, and Ford glances up with a raised brow.
“What is it? Don’t tell me you accidentally dropped something overboard,” replies Ford, testing the temperature of his coffee. He looks displeased at the result but nevertheless continues to sip it anyway.
“Relax, relax, it’s nothing like that. Sheesh, are you ever gonna let me live that down?”
“It happened yesterday.”
“Ancient history!” Eh, might as well spit it out, right? “Hey, speaking of ancient history, what was going on with you and Bill?”
Ford makes some sort of choking sound and dribbles coffee back into his cup. He casts about for a napkin or a towel. “What do you mean by that?”
“Were you like, just a fling, boyfriend-boyfriend, married? What was going on there?”
Ford sputters, gives up and rolls up his sleeve to wipe his mouth on his bare arm. His voice cracks a little as he speaks. “What- What do you- What do- Why would you–”
“Look, don’t play dumb with me, IQ. When he was in my head, he said some things. And I didn’t think much of it at the time, but see, now I got nothing but time out here on this tin can, and I…”
His twin finally manages to school himself back into neutrality, although they’re both well aware it’s too late. He’s already shown his hand. All he can do is pretend, deny, for whatever that gets him. He spares Stan a glance over his spectacles, and it seems to last an eternity, before the man finally returns his gaze to his notes. “Now is not the time to talk about this.” Oh. Okay. So not even a denial then.
“Uh, right. Sure. And when exactly is the right time gonna be?”
Ford pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs with a kind of bone-deep exhaustion. “I don’t know, Stanley, any time I’m not trying to decipher the code that we found etched onto the side of that washed up precolonial artifact last week?”
“Well, I don’t know why it needs to be a whole song and dance, Einstein, it’s a simple question.”
“Yes, we were… romantically involved. Obviously. Now please leave me in peace.” Not that he had expected that answer to buy him anything, but he still finds himself chagrined when Stan stubbornly continues his line of questioning.
“Why didn’t you tell me about that?”
“I didn’t think it pertinent.” Ford closes the book on his left-hand side, resigning himself to the unfortunate reality that this conversation is happening, and there is no walking away from it. Where would he even escape to? They’re stuck on a boat together until they land at the next port.
“You didn’t think I’d wanna know you were getting… close with the literal demon that tried to kill us?”
“He wasn’t trying to kill us when I was getting to know him. Again, this should be obvious, Stanley. I don’t know why you’re making me spell it all out for you.” He strangles the air, vibrating with more frustration than he can dissipate. “Unless it’s just to torture me, which I wouldn’t put past you.”
“What is that supposed to mean? After all the things I’ve done for you, all I’m asking for here is a little honesty.”
Ford very graciously decides not to dwell on the “all the things I’ve done for you” bit and reopen that particular wound. Instead, he doffs his glasses, the better to massage his forehead.
“Oh, for the love of… We’re in our 60s, Stan.” He unfurls his arms on the table, palms upward. “What did you want me to do, honestly? You wanted me to sit you down and tell you about my crush like we’re still in high school?”
There’s something in the sincerity of his tone that throws Stan off kilter, disarms him.
“I’m not sayin’ that! I just— You’re makin’ it sound more unreasonable than it is! I’m still your twin and I thought you trusted me with this kinda thing.”
Ford pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He stares at a point just past Stan’s shoulder, mouth flattened into a line. “Oh, god,” he laments, as it dawns on him that the emotionally mature thing to do is to be vulnerable. He sighs, busying his hands by straightening all the papers on his desk. “It’s embarrassing. It was already embarrassing, don’t you see? And this just makes it so much worse.”
“What?” Stan pulls up a chair and sits across from his twin. “Sixer, come on. You think I came in here and brought this up just to laugh at you? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is objectively very funny, hilarious even—” he grins in the face of Ford’s glare— “but the last thing I’m gonna do is judge you. Between you and me, I think your relationship with that freaky triangle was more stable than anything I’ve ever had with any human.”
“Stable is not the word I would use to describe anything that went on in that shack in the 1980s.”
“Yeah, that just goes to show how low the bar is. Anyway, my point is, while I’m not gonna laugh at you, I definitely will still laugh.”
The scientist raises an unamused brow. “With me, you mean?”
“No, I’m just gonna laugh. Ha! Ha-ha!” Stan reaches across the desk to nudge Ford with his elbow. “Come on, it’s funny! You had a relationship with a triangle! Oh, the kids are gonna be so traumatized!”
“Wh- D- Stan, don’t tell them!”
“Why not? Dipper worships the ground you walk on. This won’t change anything for him. And Mabel… well, Mabel will laugh too actually. Very hard.” He brings a hand to his chin and narrows his eyes. “Or worse, she’ll start shipping you.”
“What does that even mean? She’s going to ship me? Where? How?”
“Uh, not important, and for all intents and purposes, I do not know what that word means either. Look, I’m just pulling your leg, Poindexter. I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to. It’s your business.”
“You honestly mean that?”
Stan sweeps an arm through the air with finality. “It’s your own business and nobody else’s. Look, I’m—” He finds himself rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for pushing you about this. It’s not something you’d wanna look back on, I get it.”
“Oh.” Ford doesn’t really know what to do with that so he resumes straightening papers even though they’ve been straight for the past three minutes. “I’m not used to fights ending like this.”
“Yeah, me neither. It’s weird. It’s like we emotionally matured or something.”
“Something like that,” Ford agrees.
They lapse into awkward silence. That should've been the end of it, and yet.
“I guess I just don’t get it,” Stan admits.
“What don’t you understand, Stanley?”
“He’s a— Well, he’s a little two-dimensional, don’t you think?”
“It was an extremely intellectual affair, Stan. Physicality had very little to do with it.” Well, that isn’t entirely true but his brother doesn’t need to know about any of that.
“You know what, I’d believe that. I’m just having trouble envisioning what it… what it was like.”
“Why are you trying to envision that?”
“Because it’s weird, Ford! It’s weird and morbidly fascinating. It’s like a train wreck, I can’t look away.”
“Do you have any more questions? So that I can answer them and we can be done talking about this forever?”
“So you… you never… y'know…”
“No,” Ford says about five seconds too late. There’s heat rising to his cheeks and he smothers his face with his hands as Stan sits slack-jawed in abject horror.
“What? Wait, seriously? How did that even work?”
“Ask me something else.”
“Okay. For scientific purposes, hypothetically, in a hypothetical situation, how would a human with glasses and a triangular demon go about—”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Stan!”
“God had nothin’ to do with it, I know that much.” Stan leans back in his chair, then eyes Ford suspiciously. “Wait. He didn’t possess someone else, did he?”
“No!” Ford sounds genuinely horrified. “How depraved do you think I am? That would be tantamount to— I wouldn’t do that. Do you really think so lowly of me?”
“I mean, they could’ve consented beforehand anyway, right? That’s all I’m saying. Although, Sixer, I cannot stress this enough: You locked yourself in a cabin in the middle of Nowhere, Oregon and started drawing freaky symbols on the floor and communing with a literal demon. I think I’m allowed to be a little concerned.”
“Well– Sure, when you put it like that, it sounds more occult than scientific, but I can assure you my methodology was very sound.”
“Oh, okay, good. I’m glad your methodology was sound. That was the main thing I was worried about.”
“May I return to my cipher now?”
“Your Cipher, huh?”
Ford stares pointedly at his twin, trying to telepathically communicate how exhausting this conversation is.
“I just need to know how you did it. It’s gonna keep me up at night.”
“I fail to see how that’s my issue.”
“And then I’ll keep you up at night.”
“And then I’ll throw you overboard so that you can find that notebook you lost!”
“And then I’ll haunt you from the watery grave, you know I will. Besides, it’s laughable you think you could throw me overboard, Poindexter.”
“You really want to know?”
“For my own peace of mind, please.”
Ford sighs deeply, eyes shifting from wall to wall, as though afraid someone’s eavesdropping. Maybe he’s paranoid that a mermaid is listening in from outside. He gestures for Stan to lean in closer, cups his hands to his ear and whispers for a few seconds. Stan’s expression becomes unreadable.
“Oh. Wow. Creative. Okay. Welp. That answers that.” He claps his hands together as if to dispel dirt. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to have another one of those memory-wiping guns?”
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