#the whole world is his and we're living in it
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A Confession from the Heart of Suffering: An Unbearable Reality
I hope you read my confession, and thank you. This is the reality of all the people of Gaza.
Whenever I think of the life we used to have before the genocide, I have to struggle to hold my tears so I don't cause my children more pain than what they already feel. Our life, then, was neither easy nor perfect but it was full of warmth and the simple joy of being together under one roof .
We have never felt completely free because we have always been under a siege that has only gotten worse during this war but at least we felt somewhat safe and we had quite a decent life with the means that we were allowed.What kept us going was our belief that the future might be brighter one day.
Unfortunately, there seems to be no better tomorrow for us anymore. Nothing remains of our previous lives but rubble and memories, and the future is so bleak and full of uncertainties.It's not just the walls of our house that were turned into ruins, it's our hopes and dreams that were reduced to ashes. Now, we only dream of things that might seem so trivial to other people around the world like being able to sleep in and wake up in a comfortable bed or having a meal without standing for it in line for hours.
We dream of having enough clean drinking water so we don't have to worry about dying of thirst. We dream of the days we had a home with a regular kitchen and stove, the days we could celebrate special occasions with family in peace. Above all, we dream of not losing the people we love in a split second and of living safely and with dignity.
Instead, we have been wrongfully sentenced to a life of fear, displacement, and humiliation beyond belief. It is a living nightmare here now. Everything needed to ensure the bare minimum of decency and normalcy is denied to us. As you well know, there is no safe place in Gaza anymore and We are deprived of simple rights like having having a roof over our heads or enjoying some peace of mind for even one single day. The airstrikes and the buzzing of drones almost never stop. We live with a very real sense of impending doom day and night.
The water and food scarcity are only getting worse with time. Even regular chores like cooking or doing the laundry have become true challenges. I cannot propely bathe my children because the little water we get is polluted and their sensitive baby skin keeps getting irritated.
Before the war, my nine- year-old daughter was so picky about which outfits to wear; it made me laugh that she acted that way at her age but now we don't even have enough warm clothes for the winter. It kills me each time she says she doesn't need fancy clothes anymore and only wants to feel warm and go back to school. What makes it worse is our tent has recently been flooded by rain.
The whole camp turned into a swamp overnight. The children woke up soaked, shivering and terrified. It was almost impossible to calm them down as the rain kept pouring. We are doing our best but even if we succeed in finding the treatment, it's going to cost almost a fortune. This is why we need your support even more now.
All we do now is fight for survival every day. I never imagined,even in my darkest nightmares, that I would be searching high and low to put food in my children's mouths and keep them warm or that I would be begging the world to literally save their lives but I have no other choice now.
Despite the unbearable suffering we're daily going through, I still believe in humanity. please keep us in your prayers and help us anyway you can. Donate if you're able to,reblog and share our story as widely as you can.We are grateful to each and every one of you
Vetted by @bilal-salah0
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imagining spite talking to other spirits like 'yeah well pal the grass ain't always greener on the other side of the fence let me tell you. we all want to join the mortal world and see what all the fuss of existence is about when we're young, right. you'd think I hit the jackpot, living the dream, living the high life, living rent free in a mortal's soul, but guess what? they hardly ever use their bodies or minds for anything FUN I'm not even allowed to swing from the big glowing thing back home or add more hands or fly to pieces or be on fire even though curiosity is allowed to do that by HIS human, or anything, and if you don't want them to fall apart and be sort of sad and crumpled all the time you have to just let their body lie there and recharge for seven hours every night while you twiddle your thumbs and wait for them to come back from your home town where you can't even go anymore. they take a lot of taking care of, your average human, because they sure as fuck won't do it themselves, it's an awful lot of responsibility and you can't turn your back on them for a moment or they're out there doing shit they don't want to do and telling you they have to even though they clearly don't. the whole thing isn't all it's cracked up to be, honestly, I'm fighting for my damn life out here. what. no you can't have lucanis instead he's mine obviously fuck off
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#spite#lucanis dellamorte#just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem spite is having a lucanis problem the series that keeps giving
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Hooooooo boy I have a Lot of Feelings.
The fingers fidgeting with your ring squeezed it tighter at the memory of Mairon. He had been long gone now and all that seemed to be left of him was that ring. Not even his star shone bright in the night sky anymore.
My heart already hurts!!! Noooooooo
The only part of Mairon that still remained was not that ring, though. It was you – he would forever live inside of you like you had lived inside of him and like part of you had died the day he had been slain.
OH GOD MY HEART, YOU HAVE ME ON THE FLOOR ALREADY
One of your tasks in Númenor was to help rebuild the friendship between the humans of this island and the Elves. Lady Galadriel was definitely not helping you.
Hahahahaha Galadriel oh my god 😂😂😂
You were holding your gaze lowered but you knew somehow that he was staring at you. You could feel his eyes piercing you through because the way he was staring was not of an ordinary kind. He was not glancing at your flesh but at your soul. You felt as if you were naked in front of him and as if there was nobody else inside this palace except for you two.
THE WAY MY BREATH JUST CEASED 👀💀
The ring around your finger seemed to get heavier all of the sudden as it reminded you one more about the only creature in this world who had known you so well and who could have made you feel similar.
IT'S OUR BOY HERE HE IS
You had a malicious feeling creeping up deep inside of you – no, not even a feeling. An odd, eerie certainty. And as much as you wished for it to not be true, you also wanted it to be and you felt guilty for experiencing such cursed yearning to see and touch him again. Your Mairon.
CURSED YEARNING OH MY GOD
Halbrand stood up finally and even though he seemed to be more serious now, he still had a playful smirk on his lips. He approached you with his arms crossed and you caught yourself staring at his tan, flexed muscles before you looked up to meet his sparkling eyes once more. Nothing but the iron bars between you two and it was you squeezing them tight although he was the imprisoned one.
His tan flexed muscles...
“I am sorry to disappoint you,” Halbrand answered.
NO NOT DISAPPOINTED NOOOO
“Your star has faded away, I have cried so many tears, have been outcast by Varda because with you, some of my own light faded away, too,” you revealed in a trembling voice before opening your hazy and wet eyes. He was staring at you without playfulness now. “I know it would be better for this world if you stayed dead but I feel joy to be with you again,” you confessed.
Oh god the angst, my heart hurts, yes ofc it would be better if he wasn't around for middle earth... however we're not thinking about the greater good!!! We are selfish!!
His rough fingertips brushed the ring wrapped around your finger as he smiled sadly.
"This ring remains older than most creatures of this realm,” he pointed out.
“I have never taken it off, Mairon,” you assured him. “Nothing in this world is older than the bond between us.”
“That is quite blasphemous,” he smirked and you shook your head as you had no idea what to say to that. He was right – you should not claim such things, you were no god. But yet, whatever was between you and him – it felt so overwhelming, so overlooming.
This whole section, holy shit, their yearning is palpable, I need them to kiss!!!!
Your souls were entangled, made of the same stardust. You were the same spirit, the same heart, the same blood; only split in two forms and that was enough pain to be apart in that way. Spending centuries without him at all, thinking he was dead… It was like death itself.
Oooof. No comment, this pains me deeply
“I am up to the greater good. You know that my path is the right one; it is the only path. My only goal is to heal,” he assured you and leaned in to place a soft kiss upon the palm of your hand as you gasped.
He is so delulu, I love him lmfao, girl run!!!
“If you cared so much about us being together, you would let me lure you back into the light instead of trying to tempt me to join you in darkness, Mairon,” you whispered in Quenya.
“It pains me when you keep insisting that my path is the darkness. Your blind obedience to our creators is much darker to me, my love,” he answered.
Oooooooooh the juxtaposition, okay I love this!!! The play between light and dark, oh yes 👌🤌🙌
Long silence occurred, in which you were able to watch the master of deception performing his craft. The way he kept staring at the drawing, his face full of mixed emotions and confusion, guilt. The way he grabbed the pendant with his hands and brushed it gently with his fingertips. Everyone would believe him.
He is good!!! Well no he's evil, but he's good at being evil!!! 😂
You might have hated this name more than he hated it. It brought you nothing but pain when others would address your Mairon this way – The Abhorred.
I LOVE THIS, SHE HATES HIS NAME TOO, AHHHHHH USUALLY IT'S HIM DENYING IT, BUT SHE HATES IT TOO OH GOD
“I can be anything I want and so can you,” you reminded him, your whisper was nearly inaudible but you did not need to speak your words out loud at all for him to hear them anyway. “We can live a lifetime here and then change our forms once more, start all over again. Over and over for the whole eternity. Far away from the rest. If I am to ever abandon my life alongside the gods, it will not be for your darkness… But it could be for this. For us.”
We want it!!! We want it for them so bad 🤦♀️🙈💀
“You have made your decision then, I see,” you sighed and leaned in to press your forehead to the iron bars. “Will you ever love me enough to choose me over power?”
“Will you ever love me enough to choose me over your gods?” He asked.
OUCH
Well, touché sir, I suppose that's valid in a way 😂
“It was not to jest, “you interrupted her. “If he is what Galadriel claims, then he would be my King,” you pointed out and an odd feeling filled your whole body when you called Mairon your King. A malicious one but also honey-like warm; sweetly spreading throughout your body.
Ahhhhhhhhh yes we're in on the deception but we're not thrilled about it... but we're still in 🙈
The orange skies of the evening sky always reminded you of his ginger hair from back then and how you would brush it with your fingers, staring in awe at how the sunlight seemed to sparkle upon it.
Oh this is gorgeous 😍 sparkly ginger loser 😂😂
“Do you know why I could not be killed?” Halbrand approached you to cup your chin and you shook your head. “Because of the part of me still living inside of you. As long as you are alive, I cannot be slain,” he explained. “However, the part of you that lives within me had to suffer for all those centuries alongside me and there is not a day passing when I do not regret causing you such pain.”
👀👀👀 I LOVE THIS (ngl I have this concept in a later chapter of my series, so apologies for when it comes up 😂🙈)
For the first time in your immortal life, you finally found out how sweet his lips were. And gods, how good they felt… How right. Your souls intertwined at that moment, every missing piece finding its place as if you were forged into one body.
GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL, BREATHTAKING
“Before we were created, we had been a piece of stardust in the abyss and we had been one flesh then, of that I am sure,” Mairon whispered after breaking the kiss. “I should have kissed you much earlier, my love, for I have never felt so whole before.”
“No,” you shook your head. “I am glad you are kissing me only now,” you added and he raised an eyebrow at you. “For if you had kissed me like that back in the day, I would have followed you into corruption straight away. I would have worn black armour forged out of iron and I would have become Morgoth’s most zealous Lieutenant by your side – only to feel your lips on mine again,” you confessed.
Oh god this whole section, absolutely gorgeous, their yearning???? Their attraction to each other is hurting my heart, I need to remember to breathe 😅
It was a beautiful pendant surely although you made sure it would not look too feminine, so he would wear it at all times. However, what it contained inside was what truly intimidated him – it was a small portion of your light that you had sacrificed to lock in there. Wearing it could save his soul, of that you were sure. But in his eyes it surely was a form of imprisonment.
Ah God I love this, like it won't work, he already thinks of it as imprisonment, but it's such a beautiful notion
You turned around and realised that he was looking at you already. And at that moment, he looked like the Maia he had been created as – so pure with that wide smile and the sun shining behind him, creating a halo around his form. He looked handsome as ever in Númenorian armour, so different from the one he had been wearing as Morgoth’s Lieutenant.
You gave him a wide smile back, so full of love and devotion. Perhaps his star would begin to shine in the night sky once more.
This is absolutely gorgeous too, oh god, like redemption seems within his grasp, despite what we know, ughhhhh i love it
Babe this is amazing, you're so talented, I always love anything I read by you!! 💜💜💜
— FOREVER BOUND
PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader
SUMMARY — You and Mairon were created together by Eru and ever since you remained nearly inseparable. He chose to follow Melkor but you stayed loyal to your gods. Even though he was believed to be slain, you meet your soulmate once again many years later in Númenor where you serve the Valar by helping Tar-Míriel with your counsel.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — I started writing this fic like two weeks ago but I got distracted in the meantime with different ideas 🤧 (Y/N) is used here as the Reader's "real" name, therefore I gave her human form in Númenor a name and that is Maneth, which apparently means Departed Spirit. The dynamic between Sauron and the Reader is lowkey inspired by that quote from Wuthering Heights – He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Also, I was very fixated on making the short prologue of this fic sound like it was taken from The Silmarillion but it was a challenge, especially when English is not my first language, so yeah, I have to admit I used "the chat" a bit to help me in the beginning (and only there) 🙈. It didn't write even a single sentence for me, though, it only helped me with reshaping the phrases to sound more like the way I wanted them to be. I have never used AI to help me write my fics, so I feel a bit weird with it but I think the prologue sounds great now, so I decided to keep it this way. However, I wanted to admit to it here because I would feel bad otherwise. Once more – "the chat" did not write even a single sentence for me. I only needed its help with finding better sounding phrases to express what I have already written all by myself and it was only for the short prologue of the story. I didn't put any warnings but I think that – if you squint – it can have a bit of a twincest vibe...? 😳 At least I thought so while writing some scenes but maybe it's just my messed up mind going into such places 🙈 The fic is quite long but I didn't want to divide this one into two parts.
WORD COUNT — 7,930
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
FOREVER BOUND
Together were they fashioned by the thought of Eru Ilúvatar, Mairon and (Y/N), kindred spirits among the Maiar, and thus were their fates entwined. Mairon was drawn to Aulë the Smith, whose lore of crafting and forging he learned with eager mind, while (Y/N) was taken under the care of Varda Elentári, the Queen of Stars, and to her was revealed the mysteries of light and the heavens.
In those days of ancient bliss, when the first flowers were made to bloom, Mairon would gather their blossoms for (Y/N), and together they would abide for hours in fields unmarred by shadow. Often, he would craft jewels of wondrous beauty, offering them to her in token of his affection. Yet his most treasured gift to her was a ring, fair and unmarred, crafted in the purity of his early days, before his spirit turned to darker counsel.
It is said that (Y/N) wore that ring ever upon her hand, and that when Varda revealed to her the art of setting stars in the firmament, she bestowed the first star of her own making with the name «Mairon», that his light might endure forever.
In the later days, when Mairon fell to the shadow and allied himself with Melkor, he sought ever to draw (Y/N) to his side, weaving words of guile and repentance. Many times did he deceive her, and she, moved by their bond, hoped he might yet be redeemed. Yet she held fast to the Valar, and her faith remained unbroken.
Mairon's descent brought sorrow unending to (Y/N), and often she pleaded with the Valar to grant him mercy. Yet Varda would have her no longer as a disciple, for the brightness of her spirit had dimmed, and her heart clung still to one who had been corrupted. Then Nienna, She Who Weeps, took pity upon (Y/N) and took her into her care, teaching her of endurance and grief. And it was Nienna who spoke in favour of Mairon when Melkor, feigning humility, sought pardon from the Valar, for she understood well the love that bound (Y/N) to him.
Yet no reunion came to pass, for Mairon fled from the wrath of the Valar, and he vanished into the shadows of the world, so that some claimed him slain. The star that bore his name faded from the heavens, and it is told that (Y/N) wept until her tears filled a lake in The Southlands, and thus was the dark and bitter Lake Núrnen brought into being, a testament to her sorrow.
You were sent to Númenor to aid the Queen Regent with your counsel. Míriel suspected that you were no ordinary human being but she knew better than to ask too many questions. Very quickly you were promoted in her council, which was visibly making Ar-Pharazôn uneasy and suspicious of you because you had shown up out of nowhere one day, posing to be a noble Lady from Middle-earth… but who truly knew where you were coming from?
The fate of this beautiful island given to the ancestors of these people was uncertain, though. It was teetering between glory and ruin. You were there to make sure they would choose the right path when the time of difficult decisions would come.
When you heard that one of the captains brought a She-Elf to Númenor that he had found in an open sea, you knew immediately that it was no coincidence. It was surely the very beginning of something new. Something exciting and worrying, too.
The time you had already spent in Númenor was enough for you to fall in love with the island and its people. The Queen Regent was truly your friend and you hoped for nothing else but for this realm’s happiness.
You were standing next to Míriel when Captain Elendil walked two castaways inside the hall. She-Elf you recognised immediately because it was Lady Galadriel. She, however, could not recognise you because of your disguise. At the sight of a dirty, ragged common man walking beside her, you felt an odd shiver going down your spine.
You looked down, nervously, when he looked up to meet your gaze. Your fingers busied themselves with a ring that decorated your finger for long centuries now – it would never leave you, no matter what form you were in.
You could not understand why some random human was making you feel such odd sensations as if the air between you two vibrated and caused disruption inside the room.
“No one kneels in Númenor,” the Queen Regent announced to Lady Galadriel and her new friend when they attempted to do so.
Out of curiosity that you seemed not to be able to stop, you looked up again when the man did the same. Your eyes met and you could barely contain yourself because the soul trapped inside the form you were in was about to explode.
He was no ordinary human being and you wondered if Lady Galadriel knew about it.
Who could it be, though? The Valar would not send any help for you here without warning you beforehand. Even if they would, no other Maia was able to make you feel this extraordinary way.
No other Maia except for one.
The fingers fidgeting with your ring squeezed it tighter at the memory of Mairon. He had been long gone now and all that seemed to be left of him was that ring. Not even his star shone bright in the night sky anymore.
The only part of Mairon that still remained was not that ring, though. It was you – he would forever live inside of you like you had lived inside of him and like part of you had died the day he had been slain.
“Speak, Elf. Name thyself,” Míriel ordered Lady Galadriel and Galadriel’s eyes found yours. She tilted her head but decided not to comment although now you were certain that she could sense what kind of spirit you were.
“Galadriel of the Noldor,” she introduced herself. “Daughter of the Golden House of Finarfin. Commander of the Northern Armies of High King Gil-Galad.”
The man she came with looked at her with furrowed brows before deciding to introduce himself as well.
“Halbrand,” he said. “Of The Southlands,” he added.
“A man and an Elf, together?” You asked as you approached the Queen Regent.
“Circumstances arose that–” The man named Halbrand began but Galadriel did not allow him to finish.
“We are companions by chance. Met on the open sea. Your captain here, delivered us from certain death,” she looked at Elendil. “All we ask is that Númenor continue his mercy and grant us ship’s passage to Middle-earth.”
The crowd gathered inside the hall began to chatter between each other. It was uncommon to see an Elf in Númenor these days and Galadriel was far from humble. Her demands were not making anyone here happy and you could sense that.
The only man whose aura you could not sense was him again – the filthy commoner.
Míriel exchanged a meaningful look with Ar-Pharazôn before her cousin spoke.
“It’s been generations since a ship of Númenor was permitted to make such a journey on an Elf’s behalf,” he told the Elf, harshly.
You wondered how Galadriel would accept the fact that here, in Númenor, she was not an authority to anyone and her presence was barely intimidating. You knew her heart was of a pure kind but it was no mystery amongst the Valar, the Maiar and the Elves that she also needed to be humbled very often but such occasions were quite rare.
“It is because of the Elves that you were given this island,” she reminded but such words only worsened her situation. “Surely you can spare a few planks and a rudder.”
Míriel looked behind to stare at your face, visibly searching for your counsel. You shook your head slightly to let her know that you did not think following Galadriel’s orders was a good idea. It did not escape Ar-Pharazôn’s eye as he shot you a deadly glance. He hated the influence you had over his cousin.
“Our ancestors were not given anything,” the Queen Regent smiled softly at Galadriel as she walked down the stairs to approach the Elf and her human companion. “They paid for this isle with the blood of their kin.”
“What the Elf means–” Halbrand tried to save the situation.
“Then if blood be the price of passage, I will pay it,” Galadriel interrupted him again and you sighed softly. “But one way or another, I will depart.”
One of your tasks in Númenor was to help rebuild the friendship between the humans of this island and the Elves. Lady Galadriel was definitely not helping you.
“I welcome you to try,” Míriel nodded.
“I have no need of your welcome,” Galadriel continued with her rude remarks and Halbrand looked at her with panic in his eyes before looking back at the guards by the doors.
“And you are quickly wearing out yours,” the Queen Regent warned Galadriel. “Guards,” she called for them.
“My friends!” Halbrand exclaimed, getting everyone’s attention and you despised it.
You despised it because your weak human form struggled once more to contain your trembling spirit. You were scared that you would be this island’s doom yourself any given moment if you suddenly erupted as if you were a volcano. Your fingers began to tremble and you lowered your gaze, pretending to be humble.
“It seems to me that our leaving presents some complications,” Halbrand pointed out. “Perhaps it’d be better if we stayed–”
“Stayed?!” Galadriel barked at him.
“Long enough, good Queen, to give you and your advisors adequate time to weigh our request,” he looked up at you.
You were holding your gaze lowered but you knew somehow that he was staring at you. You could feel his eyes piercing you through because the way he was staring was not of an ordinary kind. He was not glancing at your flesh but at your soul. You felt as if you were naked in front of him and as if there was nobody else inside this palace except for you two.
The ring around your finger seemed to get heavier all of the sudden as it reminded you one more about the only creature in this world who had known you so well and who could have made you feel similar.
“A few days, perhaps?” Halbrand looked back at Míriel and you sighed out of relief once you got free from his burning gaze.
The Queen Regent looked back at you once more and you looked up only slightly to nod at her. Ar-Pharazôn rolled his eyes but he did not disagree – at least not openly.
“Three days,” he ordered. “And the Elf is to be restricted to palace grounds.”
“I will not be made a prisoner!” Galadriel protested.
“I would sooner knee-cap a stallion than seek to imprison the mighty Commander of the Northern Armies,” Ar-Pharazôn answered ironically and the crowd laughed at her. “So, you shall be Númenor’s guest.”
You could feel the tension in the room slowly relaxing and you nodded at the Queen Regent before walking out in a hurry, feeling Halbrand’s eyes on you as you were walking out in a haste with your skirts gathered in your fists, rushing to your chambers to collect your chaotic thoughts.
You had a malicious feeling creeping up deep inside of you – no, not even a feeling. An odd, eerie certainty. And as much as you wished for it to not be true, you also wanted it to be and you felt guilty for experiencing such cursed yearning to see and touch him again. Your Mairon.
When you heard from your maid at the end of the day that the human named Halbrand ended up in jail already for starting a fight, you simply could not stop yourself from paying him a visit. You walked inside the prison area of the palace carefully as you moved quietly throughout the hall with your dress flowing behind you gently.
The man was sitting on the floor with his back leaning on the wall. He was smirking as he watched you with no reaction whatsoever. Once more you noticed that you could not sense his aura or predict his mood like you usually could with most creatures, even the noblest of the Elves.
“You are no human,” you stated as you stood right in front of his cell. Halbrand snorted at that and rolled his eyes. “Who are you?” You asked and he only shook his head.
You grabbed the bars and squeezed them tightly as the silence broke due to your ring clashing with the iron. The sound echoed and Halbrand turned his head around rapidly while he squinted his eyes at your ring.
“Are you him?” You asked, nearly desperately. “Are you my Mairon?”
Halbrand stood up finally and even though he seemed to be more serious now, he still had a playful smirk on his lips. He approached you with his arms crossed and you caught yourself staring at his tan, flexed muscles before you looked up to meet his sparkling eyes once more. Nothing but the iron bars between you two and it was you squeezing them tight although he was the imprisoned one.
“You would look like a crazy maniac if I was not,” he whispered, leaning in. He was so close that you could feel his warm breath on your face.
“You were supposed to be dead…” you whispered and closed your eyes, feeling warm tears streaming down your cheeks. You squeezed your fists even tighter around the bars as your whole soul vibrated throughout your human form.
“I am sorry to disappoint you,” Halbrand answered.
“Your star has faded away, I have cried so many tears, have been outcast by Varda because with you, some of my own light faded away, too,” you revealed in a trembling voice before opening your hazy and wet eyes. He was staring at you without playfulness now. “I know it would be better for this world if you stayed dead but I feel joy to be with you again,” you confessed.
His rough fingertips brushed the ring wrapped around your finger as he smiled sadly.
“This ring remains older than most creatures of this realm,” he pointed out.
“I have never taken it off, Mairon,” you assured him. “Nothing in this world is older than the bond between us.”
“That is quite blasphemous,” he smirked and you shook your head as you had no idea what to say to that. He was right – you should not claim such things, you were no god. But yet, whatever was between you and him – it felt so overwhelming, so overlooming.
Your souls were entangled, made of the same stardust. You were the same spirit, the same heart, the same blood; only split in two forms and that was enough pain to be apart in that way. Spending centuries without him at all, thinking he was dead… It was like death itself.
But Mairon was back now and alongside him back was the part of you that had died with him.
“Will you tell them about me, (Y/N)?” He asked, quietly.
“I should, should I not? You are up to no good,” you sniffled your tears back and your eyes met his. You let go of the iron bars and extended your hands to cup his scratched cheeks. When you touched, you felt your whole body trembling, barely able to contain your spirit and your power.
“I am up to the greater good. You know that my path is the right one; it is the only path. My only goal is to heal,” he assured you and leaned in to place a soft kiss upon the palm of your hand as you gasped.
“Up to no good then,” you let out a small chuckle through your tears. You knew him enough already to know what it meant.
You wanted to get rid of the iron bars and to kiss him. His form differed from his previous one but it was never about his flesh – it was always about whatever it contained.
You had never really kissed, though. All those centuries you had spent with each other, you had spent it on yearning and gazing at yourselves, stealing soft pecks upon your cheeks or knuckles, giving each other gifts and talking sweet to one another.
Because you knew that the Maiar had not been created to love – not like this, at least. They had not been created to know the pleasures of the flesh or its desires. They had been created to serve the gods.
Perhaps something had gone wrong during the act of your creation. Perhaps it had not – perhaps it was that part of him living inside of you that craved to be close to him at all times just like the part of you living inside of him craved to be close to you.
“Join me, (Y/N), come with me, be my Queen,” Halbrand whispered and you froze, taking your hands away immediately.
“Not even half an hour I was given to enjoy your return for you are trying to deceive me once more,” you remarked, harshly.
He had been known to tease and tempt you countless of times but your soul remained pure no matter what.
“Melkor is no more. I am my own master now but I will never be whole without you by my side,” Halbrand was the one to wrap his hands around the iron bars now as he moved even closer while you took a step back. “Varda outcasted you? I will make sure no one in Middle-earth worships her no more for you will become their Queen of Light.”
“Revenge is not what I seek,” you shook your head. “Please, Mairon, your words are like daggers. I cannot handle them,” you turned your head around as more and more of your tears streamed down your cheeks.
“Refuse me as much as you like, (Y/N). A part of you lives inside of me and that is my lightness. A part of me lives inside of you and it is the part you consider rotten. Be careful, my dear, for the rot likes to spread,” Halbrand warned you although his voice remained sweet.
“I have never considered anything coming from you to be rotten,” you laid your eyes upon him again.
“Can you not see, my sweet? They keep us apart because together we would become so powerful that we could outcast the gods themselves,” Halbrand continued and his whisper caused a shiver to go down your spine. His words were wrong… So wrong. “Together, we could be anything we wanted. We could be forged into one flesh if we wished, forever bound.”
“If you cared so much about us being together, you would let me lure you back into the light instead of trying to tempt me to join you in darkness, Mairon,” you whispered in Quenya.
“It pains me when you keep insisting that my path is the darkness. Your blind obedience to our creators is much darker to me, my love,” he answered.
Perhaps you would go on like that – and knowing you two, you could do that for ages. But you were interrupted by Lady Galadriel, who looked you up and down with curiosity as she entered the prison.
“The most trusted advisor of the Queen Regent,” she greeted you, “but the least trusted one amongst her subjects. You come from Middle-earth, they say. A noble Lady. But I have never heard of you before,” Galadriel pointed out.
“Must Elves know all about human affairs?” You challenged her and she smiled, softly.
“Human? Yes,” Galadriel answered. “There are spirits, however, that remain out of our grasp. They are no gods but nearly like them. Sent to us by the Valar when we need aid,” she squinted her eyes.
“I shall remain out of your grasp then,” you nodded and she nodded back.
“What is going on?” Halbrand whined, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms again. Putting on an act of a common man in front of Galadriel and even though you knew you should scream into her face that he was the very darkness she had sworn to fight and defeat – you chose to stay silent. Perhaps he would redeem himself, perhaps he would realise that he might be given a second chance if only he decided to choose the right path this time.
Perhaps, before outing him to the outside world, you would try to fix his way of perceiving which path was the right one.
And you knew he had been given too many chances already but your heart would never give up on him. You would forever find excuses for him and try to make it right between you two.
“You…” Galadriel approached the iron bars as she smiled softly at Halbrand. “You do not belong on this island.”
“If there’s one of us that doesn’t belong here, Elf, it’s you,” Halbrand shook his head.
“I’m not so sure of that anymore,” Galadriel’s eyes sparkled as she briefly laid them upon you. “But one thing I am now certain. You are more than you claim,” she took a step further. “I found this in the Hall of Lore,” she handed Halbrand a scroll of paper that made you squint your eyes.
He took it, pretending to be unbothered. And when he opened it, you saw a heraldry drawing, suddenly realising he was wearing a pendant with the same mark. What was the game he was playing…?
“That’s funny. I found this on a dead man,” Halbrand winked at you before he looked at Galadriel with a smirk. “Thought the pattern suited me,” he added and sat down on a bench inside his cell.
Galadriel sighed and she glanced at you, as if she was expecting you to help her. You did not move an inch, however.
“Many ages ago, a man bearing that mark united the scattered tribes of the Southlands under one banner,” she told Halbrand. “The very banner that might unite them again today. Against the evil that now seeks to claim their lands. Your lands, Halbrand,” she emphasised and you sucked on the inside of your cheeks after realising what his clever scheme was. “Your people have no King for you are him,” Galadriel kept insisting.
Your Mairon, the great deceiver, knew very well that eagerly agreeing to all of this would not be as powerful as trying to pretend to be uninterested at first. Therefore, he looked away and chuckled.
“That’s an odd thing to say to a man in a cage,” he pointed out.
“A cage you have landed in because you chafe under the rags of the common,” Galadriel claimed as she looked at you again. “My Lady, you must tell your Queen the truth.”
“No Elf will tell me what I must or I must not do,” you smirked as you shook your head at how arrogant she was. You had to play your role but even as your Maia self, you wanted to humble her. “I doubt one pendant proves this man’s heritage enough.”
“What about his testimony?” Galadriel was not giving up as she looked at Halbrand again. “The armour that ought to rest upon your shoulders weighs upon your soul, Halbrand.”
Long silence occurred, in which you were able to watch the master of deception performing his craft. The way he kept staring at the drawing, his face full of mixed emotions and confusion, guilt. The way he grabbed the pendant with his hands and brushed it gently with his fingertips. Everyone would believe him.
“Be careful, Elf,” he said eventually. “The heir to this mark is heir to more than just nobility,” Halbrand stood up to approach the iron bars. “For it was his ancestor who swore a blood oath to Morgoth,” he reminded her and you were in awe how he used the bits of dark truth about himself to toy with her and test the waters.
And how oblivious she was, how eager to keep following the scenario she had already prepared for this situation to go with in her head.
“I am not the hero you seek,” Halbrand shook his head.
Indeed, he was not.
“For it was my family that lost the war,” he added.
“And it was mine who started it,” Galadriel insisted. “Ours was no chance meeting,” she pointed out and looked at you again. “No fate, nor destiny, nor any other words men use to speak of the forces they lack the conviction to name. Ours was the work of something greater,” she smiled at you and you forced a smile back.
Was she thinking that it was you who caused this meeting? Gods, if she only knew…
“You must see it,” she looked back at Halbrand.
“All I see is an Elf who won’t put down her sword,” he remarked.
“Come with me to Middle-earth,” she leaned in to be closer to him and you felt an odd sting of pain inside of your heart. Was it jealousy that another woman dared to stand so close to your Mairon…? Most likely. “And together we will redeem both our bloodlines.”
“How?” Halbrand asked, looking at her intensely. “You’re stuck on this island and you’re still short an army,” he smirked.
“That is all about to change,” Galadriel smiled and turned around to walk away.
You glanced at the man one last time before hurrying after her.
“Lady Galadriel!” You called out her name once you were outside the prison.
“My Lady,” she turned around to face you and you nearly bumped into her. “I did not expect to encounter an emissary of the Valar in Númenor, I must admit,” she bowed her head slightly. “How should I address you?”
“Here, in Númenor, you must call me Lady Maneth. In Valinor you would know me as (Y/N),” you introduced yourself and Lady Galadriel’s eyes widened slightly.
“(Y/N)...” She breathed out. “You know more than anyone else how important my task is. We must stop the darkness from spreading,” she pleaded.
“No,” you shook your head. “You must stop pushing this man… Halbrand… Into whatever you are trying to push him into,” you scolded her.
“Do the Valar have different plans for him?” Galadriel wondered out loud.
“It is not about him,” you winced, not wanting to discuss Mairon any longer with her. “It is about you, Artanis. You are beginning to become the very darkness you swore once to destroy,” you warned her.
“What do you mean?” Galadriel furrowed her brow as she took a step back.
“It is still cheating when one betrays a cheater. It is still a theft when one steals from a thief. And it is still a murder when one kills a murderer. Because it is not the matter of whether one deserves it or not – it is a matter of the act itself being committed. Too many pure and good souls were lost to us, driven by the desire to do justice,” you lectured her and you could feel her anger and frustration rising, however she would never dare to lash out on an emissary of the gods.
“Pretty words, that is all you can offer, meanwhile people are dying,” she spat out.
“Do you truly care about them, Artanis, or is their suffering your excuse to pick up the sword once more?” You asked but she was walking away angrily already and all you could see was her back, disappearing in the darkness of the corridor ahead of you.
You turned around once more and sighed at the doors leading back to the prison. You decided to leave Halbrand alone for the night but you worried about what would happen next. If he was about to choose the wrong path again, you would have to reveal his true self to everyone and interfere with his scheme.
Hope was all you had as you fidgeted with the ring around your finger.
“The visions are back and worse than ever,” Míriel confessed to you. “I suspect that it all has something to do with the Elf,” she added as she was trying to read your face but you made sure not to reveal anything.
“I knew that people of Númenor despised her kin but I underestimated the delicacy of the situation,” you admitted as you moved closer to the Queen Regent. “This is beyond worrying. The future of Númenor depends on your relationship with others. It is no time to make enemies instead of friends,” you warned.
“It would be an easier task to convince them that the Elves are not our enemies if only Lady Galadriel was not so…” the Queen Regent sighed, looking for the right word.
“Insufferable?” You chuckled and she nodded with a smile. “Elves differ from humans. They are not raised to be humble.”
“You know a lot about their kin,” Míriel pointed out, trying to make you confess who you truly were once more. She would never ask openly but sometimes she was teasing you this way.
“There are quite a few in the lands I come from,” you only answered.
“The lands you come from… Are they not The Southlands?” Míriel raised her eyebrows. “Like that human man?”
You took a deep breath in. If only you had known back then that your backstory would cause problems a few years later… But it was too late to change it because it would be highly suspicious.
“Yes,” you nodded. “But he is a commoner. I was a noble,” you added.
You were interrupted by Captain Elendil leading Lady Galadriel to you. She bowed her head slightly and exchanged a meaningful look with you.
“Lady Galadriel wishes for an audience,” Captain Elendil said and the Queen Regent nodded her head.
You stood still because these days she wanted you by her side always, no matter what. You did not even have to ask if you should leave or not.
“What is it?” Míriel asked when Galadriel stood on the other side of the table, facing you. She laid out two scrolls of paper in front of you – one was the same she had shown to Halbrand on the previous day and the other one was much more worn out and dirty.
“I found this in the Hall of Lore,” Galadriel informed the Queen Regent mysteriously and you allowed Míriel to see the items with her own eyes as you kept standing there with your hands clasped behind your back.
“You vex me, Elf,” Míriel looked up at Galadriel. “I welcome you as a guest and you gallop off to our countryside to steal ancient scrolls whilst your Southlander companion assaults our citizenry.”
“He is understandably quick to temper. His people are dying,” Galadriel explained.
“His people?” The Queen Regent asked, surprised.
“I believe the man you hold in your dungeons is no common brawler, but the lost heir in exile to the throne of The Southlands,” she revealed.
Míriel turned around to look at you and you raised your eyebrows slightly. You were not sure what to say to that. Should you help Mairon or interfere with his schemes? The answer was only easy for your mind but your heart wished to never cause him any trouble.
“Lady Maneth comes from The Southlands. She would know about that,” the Queen Regent informed Galadriel and the Elf looked at you, intensely.
“I cannot be sure,” you only said. “That there was a long gone line of Kings, I have known. That there are still their living descendants, I have not been aware of. That is not impossible, though,” you explained.
“His people are scattered. Leaderless,” Galadriel looked back at Míriel. “But with your backing they might unite behind his banner. And fight.”
How oblivious she was. His banner was nothing she would want to ever see floating in the air. His banner was nothing she would want to ever see people follow.
“What do you mean backing?” Míriel asked, taken aback by Galadriel’s proposal.
“Sauron was once your people’s enemy, as much as mine,” Galadriel reminded her and you moved uncomfortably. “I call on you to finish the task left undone.”
You might have hated this name more than he hated it. It brought you nothing but pain when others would address your Mairon this way – The Abhorred.
“I shall go,” you spoke, interrupting the tension between the two women. Míriel looked at you with a slight panic in her eyes because she did not want to be left alone with Galadriel but you simply could not stand being there anymore, hearing her talk about your Mairon. “I shall question that man, Halbrand. Mayhaps I will find out if he truly is what the Elf claims,” you said and Míriel nodded at you although you could sense she still felt uneasy to be left without your counsel.
You walked past Captain Elendil and went to the prison area of the palace like on the night before. Halbrand was sitting on the bench this time, with his back leaning on the iron bars. At the sound of your footsteps, he did not even flinch nor turned his head around. He did not have to. He knew it was you coming.
“Mairon…” You crouched down in front of his cell and wrapped your fingers around the bars. “Do not follow her, resist her temptation. Stay here with me.”
Halbrand turned around slowly with a playful smile on his lips as he looked down at you. You were not on your knees but it still seemed as if you were begging him.
“Stay here with you? Are you not a grand Lady on this island?” He asked.
“I can be anything I want and so can you,” you reminded him, your whisper was nearly inaudible but you did not need to speak your words out loud at all for him to hear them anyway. “We can live a lifetime here and then change our forms once more, start all over again. Over and over for the whole eternity. Far away from the rest. If I am to ever abandon my life alongside the gods, it will not be for your darkness… But it could be for this. For us.”
Halbrand stood up and the distance between you became even bigger now as he kept looking down at you with a hint of adoration mixed with pure contempt. He had to think you were pathetic and some part of him found it adorable but the other part found it embarrassing.
“It does not have to be Númenor,” you added. “We can go anywhere.”
“Let us go to The Southlands then,” Halbrand smirked. “Be the Queen alongside me.”
“You have made your decision then, I see,” you sighed and leaned in to press your forehead to the iron bars. “Will you ever love me enough to choose me over power?”
Halbrand did not like your choice of words as his eyes darkened. He crouched down as well, slowly, in a nearly threatening way. Now you were on his eye level as he looked intensely at you.
“Will you ever love me enough to choose me over your gods?” He asked.
The sound of footsteps made you stand up quickly and fix your dress. Halbrand also moved up and sat down on the bench. It was all done right in time because the guards walked inside the prison, dragging Lady Galadriel behind them. You watched with widened eyes as she was being thrown inside one of the cells.
“Don’t tell me,” Halbrand chuckled at her. “Tavern brawl?”
“Sedition,” she answered and Halbrand laughed as you gave her a scolding look.
When you joined Míriel again, she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, staring outside the window. She turned her head around to smile at you gently and then she went back to staring ahead of her.
“And?” She asked.
“He asked for my hand,” you informed her with a playful smirk and the Queen Regent turned her head around once more to look at you with wide eyes.
“The audacity…” She sighed.
“Why?” You asked her with a soft smile.
“For a commoner to propose such a thing to a Lady like you… Even if it was only to jest–”
“It was not to jest, “you interrupted her. “If he is what Galadriel claims, then he would be my King,” you pointed out and an odd feeling filled your whole body when you called Mairon your King. A malicious one but also honey-like warm; sweetly spreading throughout your body.
“You are above human Kings, are you not, Lady Maneth?” Míriel raised an eyebrow at you. It was the very first time she asked such a thing so openly.
“I cannot answer that, my friend,” you smiled at her mysteriously, “but if he chooses to follow the path Lady Galadriel pushes him onto, I might have to follow him.”
“And abandon Númenor?” The Queen Regent asked. “Abandon me?”
“I am sorry,” you sighed. “Following him might be a task much more important than watching over this island,” you revealed to her.
Even though you were not given direct orders from the gods, it was obvious that watching over Mairon was more important because keeping his schemes under control would only profit in the end for everyone, including the people of Númenor. Míriel could not be told all the details, therefore she would never understand and she would feel abandoned by you. It was the price you had to pay.
It was an excuse, of course. Choosing to follow Mairon to Middle-earth to make sure he would not go back to his evil ways and that he would use the position Galadriel was giving him to do good instead… It was nothing but a noble excuse to simply explain the fact you wanted to follow him.
It was different now, though. It was not one of those times when he had begged you to come with him, straight to Morgoth. No, this time there was a string of hope that he would truly redeem himself. And of course he would have a bigger chance to do so with you by his side.
“It seems so important… Everything happening in Middle-earth. More important than I suspected. But if even you are willing to leave my side to go back there, it means there are things happening there that are much bigger than me,” Míriel said. “I must rethink Lady Galadriel’s words now then,” she informed you and walked past you to walk away. “Just like you must rethink Halbrand’s proposal.”
“Yes, I must,” you nodded at her and looked outside the window yourself. The sun was slowly setting and the view was beautiful – you wished it would forever be like this; so peaceful and calm with pink and orange hues.
Like back in the day when you had been sitting in the flower fields with Mairon, staring at the skies, your bodies filled with no malice – only pure yearning for one another.
The orange skies of the evening sky always reminded you of his ginger hair from back then and how you would brush it with your fingers, staring in awe at how the sunlight seemed to sparkle upon it.
You were standing by the guards’ side as you watched them open Halbrand’s cell. They nodded at him and he nodded back. The guards left you with him alone and an awkward silence occurred between you two.
“There, you have it your way,” you finally said, quietly.
“You must have missed me terribly,” he crossed his arms and chuckled but you did not want to laugh.
Your eyes filled with tears immediately at the mention of all those centuries you had spent thinking he was gone forever. You lifted your wet, glistening eyes to lay them on his and he clenched his jaw as he moved slightly while all playfulness left his expression.
“Do you know why I could not be killed?” Halbrand approached you to cup your chin and you shook your head. “Because of the part of me still living inside of you. As long as you are alive, I cannot be slain,” he explained. “However, the part of you that lives within me had to suffer for all those centuries alongside me and there is not a day passing when I do not regret causing you such pain.”
“Oh, Mairon…” You gasped and threw your arms around his neck to pull him closer and hug him.
However, he had something else on his mind. He blinked slowly a few times and cupped your cheeks now with his rough hands as he leaned in to join your lips together.
For the first time in your immortal life, you finally found out how sweet his lips were. And gods, how good they felt… How right. Your souls intertwined at that moment, every missing piece finding its place as if you were forged into one body.
“Before we were created, we had been a piece of stardust in the abyss and we had been one flesh then, of that I am sure,” Mairon whispered after breaking the kiss. “I should have kissed you much earlier, my love, for I have never felt so whole before.”
“No,” you shook your head. “I am glad you are kissing me only now,” you added and he raised an eyebrow at you. “For if you had kissed me like that back in the day, I would have followed you into corruption straight away. I would have worn black armour forged out of iron and I would have become Morgoth’s most zealous Lieutenant by your side – only to feel your lips on mine again,” you confessed.
Just when you finished voicing out your blasphemous feelings, Halbrand’s lips kissed you once more. This time he lowered his hands to intertwine your fingers with his. You felt him smirking when he felt the ring on your finger brushing his skin.
“Let us get married. Straight away,” he breathed out. “You are wearing my ring already. You have worn it for all eternity.”
“It would be only fair if you wore something from me as well. Something to mark you as my own like I am yours,” you pointed out.
“What would it be, my sweet?” Mairon caressed your cheek and you smirked at him a little before you reached out to the back of your neck.
You had prepared your gift for him this very morning when you already knew he would be released. There was a pendant around your neck, hidden under your dress. You took it off now and handed it to him as he slightly moved away at the sight of it.
It was a beautiful pendant surely although you made sure it would not look too feminine, so he would wear it at all times. However, what it contained inside was what truly intimidated him – it was a small portion of your light that you had sacrificed to lock in there. Wearing it could save his soul, of that you were sure. But in his eyes it surely was a form of imprisonment.
“Have you not sacrificed enough of your light for me already?” Mairon asked.
“Never enough. I shall sacrifice as much of it as I can to save you, my love,” you insisted and pushed the necklace into his open hand as you closed it around the pendant.
Mairon forced a smile as he swallowed thickly and opened his hand again to stare at the necklace before slowly putting it around his neck and hiding it under his tunic.
“Thank you,” he whispered in Quenya and you smiled back at him, encouragingly.
It had been ages since you last wore armour. Lately, the Valar had been using you more as a politician than a warrior but you still remembered the wars you had taken part of. Back then you had been on the opposite side of the field from Mairon but now you were by his side, riding your horse next to his as people of Númenor were throwing flowers at you.
You took a deep breath in when it was time for you to jump off of your mare. What you were about to do would be equal to making a final decision about your fate – leaving Númenor meant forsaking the task that had been given to you by the Valar. However, you wanted to believe that they would value your new task even more; the one you had given to yourself. To watch over Mairon and make sure no one would know him as Sauron ever again.
He helped you to get on the ship and when you held his hand tight and he grinned at you, your heart filled with love and warmth. There was, however, a hint of worry because you knew what a skilled deceiver he could be.
To become the King and Queen of The Southlands and to erase the darkness from that long-forsaken land was your shared goal now. Or so he had been promising you. To unite the tribes of that realm and to make sure they had a bright future. And once your mortal forms would become old enough, you would abandon or transform them to start a new life somewhere else. To heal more and more lands, more kins.
You wanted to believe the healing would be done in the right and proper way this time because now he had you by his side.
Your new husband and an old companion smirked at you and squeezed your cheek playfully before turning around to join Captain Elendil to speak to him as the ships sailed out of the harbour. Lady Galadriel stood next to you instead and she glanced at you from the corner of her eye.
“I know it is not my right to ask about the ways of the Valar and the Maiar but why would a spirit like you marry a human and abandon the task originally given to her?” She raised an eyebrow at you.
“The road goes ever winding,” you answered her. “Not even the Valar or the Maiar can see all its paths.”
“Your devotion to this cause makes me believe I was right to fight so eagerly for this to happen,” she said and you smiled to yourself. She was so desperate.
“You are right, Artanis. It is not your right to know about the ways of my kind,” you patted her shoulder and gave her a faint smile as she nodded, staring into the horizon.
You looked there, too, but your mind was absent. You were scared and unsure – some part of you nearly wanted to be as blind as Lady Galadriel because she seemed to be so certain and fearless.
You turned around and realised that he was looking at you already. And at that moment, he looked like the Maia he had been created as – so pure with that wide smile and the sun shining behind him, creating a halo around his form. He looked handsome as ever in Númenorian armour, so different from the one he had been wearing as Morgoth’s Lieutenant.
You gave him a wide smile back, so full of love and devotion. Perhaps his star would begin to shine in the night sky once more.
MASTERLIST
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malleus.dorms.serfssr jask malleus mahgajkd sfddoem zhell athronewsnwhwnsssr. gsgwuey. MALLeUS.
#NOT okay#this has been the worst week of my life /pos#i can't focus on school because of twst it has literally taken over my brain#im rotting#i have a test tomorrow and exams next week idk how im going to survive#??????????#twst posting#caps#hashtag going insane#THE WAY HE IS SITTING#I AM FERAL#the groovy better be something so good it blows my brain up#lilias was a flop#so lets pray malleus gets enough swag for both of them#he is SERVING#the whole world is his and we're living in it#i have said that before#malleus my bbg
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favorite bit in Steven Universe- the "man, I don't get cartoons these days" style fourth wall break
#just... steven universe as a show constantly commenting on cartoons while it ITSELF is a cartoon...#it's fascinating to me bc it injects an added dose of like... realism into events.#like we're Visualizing steven's life as a 'cartoon' but for him this is just. his existence#like HE watches cartoons and animes and all that#he's a real living person in the world of the show who has a whole life off the screen#saying it once again- number one way to make your worlds feel more lived-in is to invent fictional media that exists WITHIN the world#su#steven universe#greg universe#amethyst#pearl#garnet#connie maheswaran#sardonyx#su edit#my video stuff
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BnHA Chapter 425: New Normal
Previously on BnHA: Everyone was all “and with that we conclude our final battle for better or worse!! We will now commence our slow return to the new normal, beginning with our protagonist and deuteragonist who are miraculously more or less intact, albeit exhausted and mildly traumatized. Also the words ‘more or less’ are kind of doing a lot of heavy lifting there.”
Today on BnHA: The Big 3 and Aoyama are OUT. Shinsou is IN. The Tododrama is PENDING, and the mysterious figure in the shadows is UNIDENTIFIED. Also class 1-A finally becomes class 2-A and it only took them 425 chapters and TEN LONG YEARS. Can you imagine if this series had actually run throughout their high school experience like people once expected. “THE YEAR IS 2044 AND MY HERO ACADEMIA IS FINALLY WINDING TO A CLOSE.” There’s an alternate universe somewhere where this actually happened and we were all so very, very tired.
This is once again a shorter than usual reaction summary post, as opposed to my typical page-by-page liveblog. Not gonna have time to do those for a while yet most likely, but like hell am I gonna miss out on the last days of the series, so here we are.
Once again basing this off of @pikahlua’s spoiler translation summary here!
watching the eighteen inch tall Rat Principal standing at a podium overseeing this graduation ceremony is surreal in the most wonderful way. it’s like receiving your diploma from a sentient Funko Pop
I love how they established that Mic sitting there screaming at the top of his lungs is also a beloved U.A. graduation tradition, and that the senpais just roll with it while everyone else is in varying stages of trying to decide if it’s too late to transfer to another school
ngl sometimes I forget that Ochako and Toga were actually the second canonical f/f ship in this series. shoutout to Hadou and her adorable girlfriend whose name I absolutely cannot recall
absolutely wild that Horikoshi gives credit to Rat Principal for coordinating the entire disaster recovery nationwide. are you serious. the “world-famous” Principal Nezu?? you’re telling me this little capybara is effectively the secret president of Japan now or something. when does he even sleep
“the principal made great contributions to quirk morality education” is also a VERY interesting tidbit that I really want to know more about. “hey guys what if we did a better job at teaching people not to be dicks with their quirks” AND JUST LIKE THAT JAPAN WAS SAVED huzzah
“we lost many things, but we gained nothing” is both HILARIOUS and soundly depressing, but I can see what he’s trying to get at. still an odd choice for a graduation speech though. “our job is all about harm reduction, and we couldn’t even do that this time around, but in the future we hope to balance things out and maybe even get some net positive impact going!” lmao. again it’s all true, and in all honesty it’s spectacular that they managed as well as they did, all things considered. and I guess it would have been disingenuous to just ignore the reality of everything this particular school body has been through and pretend like everything is great right now. but I still can’t help feeling like there was probably a more inspiring way to get this message across lol
regardless of what he says, Aizawa 100% either bribed or threatened Rat Principal behind the scenes in order to stay with his class. and will do so again next year. he can and will keep getting away with it. he is never leaving these kids
and the sheer relief from all of them upon hearing it is all the justification he needs. these kids have four thousand nine hundred and seventeen accumulated traumas among them. they don’t need a four thousand nine hundred and eighteenth. this man is their father ffs. MINA WAS CRYING AND EVERYTHING
Kacchan watched that YouTube video about a dozen times until he managed to tie his tie all on his own with the one hand. and he did an amazing job. he’s such a model citizen now
also it looks to me like he has his right arm hidden in a sling underneath his shirt, which is interesting. if I’m not mistaken (and I very well could be, since it’s been a hot minute since I did any BnHA timeline math), the final battle took place sometime in early May, so this chapter is taking place roughly one month later. the hospital chapter took place about a week after the battle, so it’s been about 3-4 weeks since then. I really want to know what kind of shape Kacchan’s arm is in, but I guess Horikoshi will get to it when he gets to it
also, “we all gotta be together today” was a real wakeup call to me in that it gave me just an absolutely ridiculous amount of feels. just a totally unreasonable amount. and it’s like. listen, self. Kacchan has completed his character growth arc. he’s a team player and a leader who loves all his friends and they all love him in return. we’ve known this for years now. it’s an established fact. you can’t keep bursting into tears or whatever every time he shows it. this is no way to live your life. I need an intervention
anyways later this evening class 2-A is gonna have a celebratory movie night in the common room, and Kacchan is gonna fall asleep two minutes in peacefully surrounded by all his classmates, and they’re all gonna nudge each other and smile fondly and cover him with a blanket and stay up until 2am and Aizawa will have no mercy on them the following morning. it’s gonna be so wholesome you guys
(ETA: I decided to go back and have some more feels about this one tiny Kacchan panel, because apparently the four paragraphs I already wrote about it weren't enough. so the thing is, Sero's wonderment at Katsuki being out of the hospital initially read to me as half bemused awe, and half "oh boy, time to get back into our usual rhythm of antagonizing Kacchan!" but my second time around, I can't help remembering that all of Kacchan's classmates got to watch this kid getting tortured and strangled and stabbed through the heart in 4K. like, even if they were busy with their own fights at the time, there's no way they didn't see the footage later on afterwards.
and that had to have been traumatic for them. their friend literally died and was just lying there so still for so long afterwards. and him getting better and going back to his usual asskicking self later on doesn't just erase those memories, you know? especially with him having lasting, permanent damage afterward. not just his arm, even! like who even knows if his heart is going to be okay long term. when people get organ transplants they have to go on immunosuppressants afterwards because otherwise their body will try to attack the replacement organ. so I wonder how exactly it works when it's still your heart, but it's being held together by various bits and pieces of a spindly little floss man. idk, but I bet you it's still pretty rough.
anyway so long story short, I'm now reading this as one-third bemused awe, one-third joking antagonism, and one-third genuine "no seriously, is it okay for you to be here, please don't do anything to put your health at risk because we seriously cannot handle you dying on us again." and Kacchan's not even disagreeing with him lol, which has to be the most concerning thing of all. "they said it's okay if I rest." even he knows he's pushing it, but it was too important of an occasion to miss. anyway please take it easy kiddo.)
Aoyama leaving makes me sad but it makes total sense for his character after what he’s been through. he needs time to sort things out and continue down his own personal honor-regaining journey. respect
also glad to hear that it was his own choice and that both Rat Principal and Nao would have supported him if he stayed. I still to this day do not understand Naomasa’s actual level of authority lol. like, he’s supposedly a detective, and yet he seems to be personally in charge of every single important police operation, on like a national level. and he has the authority to make decisions like letting Aoyama go free. he is the law, literally
Aoyama trying to feed Deku some farewell cheese also took me out. like he just walked in there and was all “sorry everyone, I’m leaving, but I’ll still aim for the path of a hero and will one day return, don’t you worry!” and at some point in the midst of this tearful speech he made a beeline directly to Izuku and tried to give him some cheese that he apparently just had in his pocket or something. and Izuku was all “YEAH!” all solemnly but HE DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH THAT POCKET CHEESE. like he loves you and accepts you for who you are Yuuga but COME ON
at this point in the chapter it also became clear to me that Aizawa has his hair up in some sort of loosely assembled messy bun and that’s why it looks so especially flowing and gorgeous today. this is great cinema
and then AT LONG LAST, the admission of Shinsou into class 2-A. they tried everything they could to keep him out, BUT NOT EVEN THE END OF THE WORLD COULD STOP HIM. his rightful place
Ojiro’s scandalized response to hearing Fuwa refer to Aizawa as “Era-sen”, and then Fuwa subsequently revealing all of Aizawa’s secrets and Aizawa getting flustered and kicking her out, was one of the most delightful sequences I’ve read. “nooooo don’t tell them that, what the hell am I gonna threaten them with now”
Izuku has not even attempted to crack a smile since the final battle, aside from when he was frantically trying to reassure Kacchan in the hospital. I’m worried about him but also loving this a little bit, ngl. I am content to wait for you to eventually have a proper breakdown, mister Greatest Hero
also I singled him out on the whole not-smiling thing, but really this is true for just about all of them. my heart aches :(
were there really so many people freaking out over Izuku’s hair that Horikoshi felt compelled to throw in that “HEY DEKU-KUN, YOU SHAVED YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT DUE TO AN INJURY, RIGHT? BUT IT’LL GROW BACK, RIGHT!?” line in there lol. the hilarious thing is that this chapter was already in the books before 424 was released, so it means that Horikoshi anticipated the backlash ahead of time. the man knows his audience
and now for this mysterious little barefoot man randomly emerging from some rubble somewhere. who are you. fandom already thinks you’re everyone from Tenko to Hisashi lol. my personal theory is that he’s just a random citizen who’s hurt and traumatized and needs help. and unlike what happened with baby Tenko once upon a time, this young man actually will be helped by a hero in his moment of need, and it’ll be all hopeful and stuff because SOCIETY IS CHANGING FOR THE BETTER NOW HOORAY
or maybe he really is Tenko, idk. what do I know lol. don’t listen to me
lastly, Shouto out here immediately leaving U.A. after class and ruining my dreams of a class 2-A movie night. FINE THEN. GO AND BE WITH YOUR FAMILY my precious little life preserver. and I’m actually really, really excited to see what their endgame is actually, so yes, Horikoshi, bring it on please and thank you
#bnha 425#class 1-a#wait no#class 2-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#this whole time we were led to believe this was the story of how izuku's generation became the greatest heroes#when really it was the story of rat principal's ascent to power#he waited until there was a vacuum and then he SWEPT RIGHT IN like emperor palpatine#it's his world now and we're just living in it
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now if only he could get the 90-minute equivalent of justice for his actions huh
#the most disappointing thing for me during this whole thing has truly been the fandom's reaction#i can't believe how much most of them only curse him for ruining their favourite show- as if he's not the one creating it in the first plac#i know we all need our escapism but at some point that in itself becomes a problem. sometimes you can't (or shouldn't) have that luxury#think of his victims googling his name only to see people talking about aziraphale and crowley and their happy ending#what about ours? what about our world - this messed up world we're living in?#and by the way even if neil gaiman is not involved in this show he still owns the fucking rights and will get money out of it#anyway. lots of thoughts and very little patience left in me#good omens#neil gaiman#my text#tag ramblings
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it's like. louis attempted to tell this story to daniel the first time, broke down, and attacked him before he could finish it.
and then decades later he's convinced himself that it was leaving the story unresolved that's holding him back from living his life fully now. so he invites daniel back again. and louis is sitting poised and put together, confident in his ability to recite his history in a pretty, poignant, neat little narrative that will resolve all the guilt and yearning and emptiness inside of him. that if he can just tell a compelling, satisfying story, maybe it will actually be that, and not the life he lived through, with all the pitfalls of his own failures lurking inside.
and then season 1 ends with him once again being forced to confront that the story he wants to imagine and the life he actually lived aren't the same thing. the boundaries around his narrative are shredded and he's left exposed, and subsequently able to face his past for the first time since that original interview. and you think, you think, "well this is it. they've crossed the event horizon. there's no use hiding the truth anymore, not after it's come flooding out into the open like this"
and then season 2 opens. not only is it back to the original, practiced distance, we now have armand literally enforcing that distance. a man sitting at the table who's interjections must be disregarded, an intentional interruption to the flow of the story. he doesn't exist to aid or add detail, he exists to distract louis when he gets too deep in the story. the only time we do get louis allowing any deep truth to come out is when armand leaves the room.
it's like. louis wants a story that's true, and the truth is what he's convinced will leave him satisfied. armand wants a story that will satisfy louis, to the extent louis will accept it's true.
#genuinely THE juiciest way to tell this story#like it's SO good#there's this coy little humor behind the ep#where louis and armand are very much like 'haha okay daniel you've caught us out. you've seen behind the curtain. this is the whole truth'#meanwhile daniel's getting '8 hours on how to avoid the sun and torpedoes'#like it's a faux revelation that completely backtracks all of the progress made at the end of season 1#and even louis's (very touching) moment this episode where he tells daniel the truth#is a very digestible and ultimately non-harmful dive into his past#armand doesn't like it because it's part of a slippery slope of remembrance#but he doesn't actively get in the way of it being told because it's a revealed memory that doesn't ULTIMATELY mean that much#like i'm assuming we're all on deck as far as believing louis doesn't remember the full extent of claudia's death atm.#i could be wrong about that. but like. it is kind of the elephant in the room at the moment#so it's very much a case of armand getting to couch his own fears and attachment in 'doing the greater good for louis'#ultimately who does it serve if louis remembers everything and realizes armand's more negative role in his life?#all that will do is make him miserable. deprive him of the one person in his life who cares for him#better to have a palatable lie than a truth that could leave louis a danger to himself#('as long as you walk this earth i won't taste the fire' <- but she doesn't walk this earth and the reason why is sitting by his side)#isn't it the kinder and better thing to manufacture a world where louis can live with himself?#anyways. teehee. i missed this show so much. <3#iwtv
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You know what? I really wanna eat a sandwich with Vessel. We don't even have to talk or anything like.
I just want to sit at a table across him, get a few Capri Suns, a bag of crisps torn open between us, a nice sandwich each, and just eat in silence.
🧃😐🥪 🍟 🧃😐🥪 <- like this
#i want it to be almost uncomfortable but never reaching that point#i want us both to just munch on bread like 😐🥪 😐🥪#and we're both sharing the same crisps. and maybe we reach out for the same potato but there's an awkward “you go” pause#our fingers barely touch. it's not romantic or anything it's just 😐😬#and maybe I'll accidentally choke on a piece of chicken and he pauses. half-eaten sandwich in hand. completely silent#watching me cough and waiting to see if i need help or not. but then i sip on my capri sun and i'm 😐👍 and he's 😐👍#and we both continue to eat in silence#he's fully masked of course#maybe he'll occasionally cough very lightly to clear his throat. or do a “mhm” sound to indicate the food is good#and that's it. that's all i want#is that too much to ask? i don't think so#(listen i love sandwiches okay? they're one of my favourite things in the whole world i could live off sandwiches if i could)#sleep token
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The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits
#jjk#ryomen sukuna#gojo Satoru#sukugo#my post#sukugo's date night#Grown ass men beating each other up looking each other in the eyes thinking about love while a cutesy song plays in the background 😍#I saw a tiktok edit of Sukuna annihilating everything with the song “what is love?” by TWICE playing I was like wait a minute THISSS!!!#but with the Sukugo fight!!!!#I have a whole montage in my brain hear me out.... starting from 2:27 minutes in#Wonder where you are?~ I'm gonna find you~ Wonder where you are?~ I'm so dying to see you~ I can't take it much longer~#👆🏻these lyrics with that scene of Sukuna waiting for gojo on the rooftop before their fight...hmmm yes yandere vibes yes#How it could be as sweet as candy~ How it's like flying in the sky~#👆🏻These with Sukuna and gojo clashing in the sky over kenjaku#this part of the song is the slowest so a slow motion scene of them in the sky would look beautifulagghj#I wanna know know know know~ what is love?~ What love feels like~#👆🏻 these with Sukuna giving Satoru that look💀 and thinking about yorozu's words after Satoru chose their date to be on 24th..#How it keeps you smiling all day~#👆🏻 this one is obvious there are too many instances of them freakishly smiling during the fight that it's hard to choose lmao#How the whole world turns beautiful~#👆🏻cut to Sukuna saying he cleared his skies...yeah...#I wanna know know know know what is love?~ Will love come to me someday?~#👆🏻 and maybe if we're getting angsty with this... that scene of the last time “the one who will teach you about love” was brought up#in the airport where we see Sukuna from behind and Satoru says it was fun asdhjkkll#Then the song just continues with I wanna know~ I wanna know~ for 30 seconds until it ends#👆🏻 And here comes a compilation of Sukuna missing gojo and standing there looking bored and we have Yuji black flashing his heart#and sukuna looks behind him and has heart eyes for larue but it fades to him looking at yutagojo thinking it's gojo#because these two scenes are SIMILAR for some reason and then yuta failing at being gojo and sukuna copying gojo's hand sign and-#Do yall see what I mean this is their theme song fr The song being cutesy and upbeat is what makes this for me#Sukuna is living his first teenage girl experience Yall don't understand I need this so baddd I'm gonna learn how to edit and do it myself
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I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.
Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.
Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.
And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).
But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.
So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.
#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes#trent crimm#I saw someone on reddit saying that this whole thing with colin being scared of coming out was a bad storyline in 2023#because it's not a big deal#and I was baffled#thankfully some people called them out on that#because colin just wants to live his life#he says he doesn't want to be a spokesperson but that's what he'll become if he comes out whether he wants to or not#because he'll always be the first active gay premier league player#and it's also arrogant to say that it's accepted to be queer in 2023 so it's not a big deal#when queer and trans people are stripped of their rights and their right to express themselves in the US for example#and queer and trans people are killed all over the world simply because of their sexuality and/or gender identity#and even if you live in a fairly accepting country like I do for example#it's still the fear that YOUR OWN family and friends will reject you#because to quote monty python ''we're all individuals''#it doesn't matter how accepting society at large is because society are made up of individuals who has their own beliefs#so no the world isn't as accepting as people are led to believe and that's what I mean when I talk about straight people#no matter how well-meaning they are they will have a hard time understanding#nicole watches stuff
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WORLD IS NISHIKI!!!!!!
Happy birthday koi boi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#akira nishikiyama#smol makes art#it's his world and we're all just living in it <3#fun fact i changed the ring from a rose to a marigold cause it's one of his birth flowers!!#he is the prettiest princess in the whole world <3
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> the hearts of those you formed the deepest bonds with became your strength...
#persona 4#p4#kep.*#kep.gif#hisano ..... oooughohsdg#hers and strength bros are so long but they're my favorites of this sequence waahh i didn't want to remove any lines#i completely forgot that the game skips a whole month at the end so i wasn't able to max her sl this playthrough and it#felt like i BETRAYED her.... i love her so much#she and naoki are my favorite sls i think . i love them so#one time i told lucifer smth like 'it's minor arcana world and we're just living in it' and i still stand by that#AND DOJIMA .... omg putting his first is such a kick to the heart it always makes me bawl#opening w him and ending with nanako oougoh . waaahgh#well marie is the end but i count hers differently since her sequence is different#ANYWAYS !! my favorite part of the game :[ <3 one of them at least
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I know I'm totes missing something about Vax and his whole deal (I haven't watched the original campaign & I'm like half way through LoVM)
But I thought the implication of Keyleth having a perch for the ravens was that those ravens ARE Vax? I have been thinking this entire time Keyleth hasn't gotten over Vax because he was actively visiting her. But the only way he could get away and see her is to be a raven.
Idk this shit sucks I hope this night lasts forever
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#cr keyleth#vax'ildan#vaxleth#i feel like i did when watching that one episode of rwby where oz tells the kids he turned the branwens into birds#im just sitting here like “wait we didnt know that??”#and its the same thing like “wait were those birds not vax?”#ALSO (again i know im missing something) him not knowing about his nieces and nephews fucking sucks#like i dont know how to function with vox machina. because it all fucking sucks.#it hurts so bad and we're 30 years in the future and it still fucking sucks.#and like. i find it interesting that matt brought essiks brother up#hot boi who lives hella long also#kiki maybe you should look into that#and someone said that its only been like 3 years for Keyleth mentally because of how she ages.#so no wonders shes like this.#no wonder shes still hurt#so from what ive gathered i think vax's whole deal is that the matron severed all his emotional ties to his friends and family#hes a little numb to it all. the world.#im sure its more complicated than that and im making this post to be told “what the fuck is up with that”#idk this sucks give me a happy ending challenge
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#he's back#it's max's world and we're just living in it tbh#his whole smile is so big and soft and I love him#max verstappen#f1#**
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I think we might have trauma tied to the literal feeling of falling asleep/waking up. Like we get nightmares that are just. The feeling of changing concousness but drawn out + adrenaline + terror
#this may be from sleep paralysis? because we also get that sometimes#also sometimes when falling asleep we get like a rush of adrenaline and if we're far enough along well get shot into sleep paralysis or#start half dreaming about being woken up from a coma or dying.#which like 99% of the time is what we want? but then these things hapoen and its like. huh. maybe i DO have a will to live#it feels less like me or another alter and more like the body literally things its dying.#this happens both sober and intoxicated but doesn't seems to happen more frequently when intoxicated which is interesting#if anything its usually easier to push through#but one time we were like super fucking stoned with my ex and i started flipping my shit because im chill like thag#and so he took me out to the car vecasue i was like “i cant be in the house snymore its not safe i cant be here”#and he leaves to go get something and im like terrified to fall asleep#it gets worse when im scared sometimes. like a certain type of fear its like horror feeling.#anyways so im trying ot to pass out and im convince if i do ill never come back and my ex enters the car and i start screaming. like bloody#murder. and then HE screams. so then were both screaming. and eventually one of us stops screaming. and i dont remember which one. and i was#like :( im sorry that was really embarrassing but also im still so scared im sorry#and he was like 'its chill.' and then he goes to get another thing later and hes like Dont. Scream. When i get back. Dont Scream.#and i was like . okay 👍🏼.#and then he got back and i screamed. but it was easier to stop that time#and then his mom drove us around the neighborhood and i convinced my self that the whole world was just a figment of her imagination#and that really helped for somereason#so.#this kinda got away from me but basically i had one of those drawn out consciousness change night mares last night#dream log
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