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zz0nie · 1 year ago

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Genshin Hcs

Neuvillette & Wriothesley

note; this is my first time writing (after like 2 years, so much improvement I'd like to hope :0) just thought I would start it easy with Neuvi and Wrio, much loved Fontaine boys <3 (Suggestions are always welcome!!)

Neuvillette

Neuvillette would never EVER bring it up to you; however, he is a man who loves his hair being played with or brushed to pass time. If you bring it up he will give you a surprised look, maybe bringing out a response from you, "Don't give me that face, Neuvi." As you're holding a hairbrush in one hand. He will silently work his way to you, in fact he is extremely attentive to how you are carefully brushing around his horns to make sure you don't hurt him. So soft in general, he loves you.

Neuvillette's favourite drink is water - as we know with his idle lines, suggesting each water from each nation is different - if you suggest to him to try some tea, he would say he does not enjoy it. However, give it a large ratio between more water less tea? You may catch him having the occasional "tea" (An extremely diluted tea, keep in mind. Maybe enough to consider it flavoured water.)

Figuring he has helped the Melusines find a safe second home inside Fontaine, he has become a parental figure to them, and as he has given them jobs often if you walk into his office while it is a relatively calm time you may happen to see a small melusine tucked up on his sofa with a large blanket suited for a human wrapping their body up. He will take it with care and duty to take care of that melusine. If he is busy he will have them escorted to their home safely though. He is a worried father, leave him be.

He is extremely quick to pick up on items or things you like or dislike. Very minimal change in your body language can tell him everything, as he does in fact notice the way you stare longingly at an accessory of clothing that would go perfectly with your outfit. If you enjoyed flowers he will go out of his way to pick you or buy you your favourite flower(s) and make sure you receive them. (Most of the time he's extremely busy and gets a melusine to go to your door, he's trying his best. :(

Neuvillette has little time to enjoy things, however, while figuring court cases inside his office, you may walk past slowly and hear the hum of his record player playing some classical music. Maybe one day you'll walk in and ask him to take your hand, you'll sway together in his office, just the two of you as you sweep him away from work and to you.

At the start of your journey together, sitting in silence was not something that was sought out from either of you as it felt awkward between you. Neuvillette isn't the best at small talk, so if you aren't either it may take a while to get this going. However, when you grow closer there will be a time where he will come to seek you out, just to sit and do his own thing while you do yours, simply enjoying your presence.

He loves like old people do, the small things mean a lot to this man. Remembering small things and going out on a walk somewhere - heck, when you help him with washing his hair when he has had a long, tiring day - between you in that moment, there is no lust or hatred, just pure love for each other. Neuvillette bathes in your sweet affection during these moments, he loves you so much, even if he cannot find the words to say it.

Wriothesley

Like Neuvillette, loves a specific brand and way of tea being made, if he teaches you how and you pick up and make it for him like that u are probably one of his most favourite people. Definitely prefers his tea on the stronger side, this man needs his energy somehow.

Children love him, even if he is this big scary dude that controls the prisons in Fontaine they see him as an extra father - especially orphaned kids - and he treats all children with such respect, he's so sweet to them. You look at him when a young girl comes up to him, holding something behind her back: Some handpicked flowers. She holds them out to him, all shy around such a pretty older boy. Of course, he accepts them and thanks the young girl as she giggles and runs off, he watches her with a small smile - if you point it out the man will throw you a frown. "Can't a guy enjoy the little things in life now? Why don't you get me flowers?" Uh oh, he's got you there.

I believe when this man decides he is done being the ward of the prison in Fontaine, he finally relaxes in a home with you - and a potential child - he cares less and less on physical appearance, obviously tries to keep up but as age comes so does laziness. So beware he may begin to grow a dadbod, he would rock it though.

Ticklish on his stomach, don't know where it came from or how you found out, maybe it was your hand brushing against it while he was stretching and his shirt came untucked. Don't play with the fire though, this man does not like being tickled. Though, he has the most gorgeous laugh, maybe it would be worth it.

Wriothesley takes his sweet time petting animals on the street and taking care of any he may come across - I mean, when does he EVER get to see a pet while stuck at work? It's always something that makes a mans heart swell with joy. However if you were to ask if he is a cat or a dog guy will be admitting he is much of a dog guy. Though, dogs aren't at all interested in him which makes him sigh in defeat, yet cats just seem so in love with him (me too) when they come running up to him. He doesn't mind it though, in all honesty he would prefer having you holding onto his arm as you both walk.

HE WILL PICK YOU UP FROM BEHIND THIS MAN DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE ON WEIGHT EITHER. HE DOES RESPECT BOUNDAIRES THOUGH! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HE WONT DO IT!

He absolutely loves it if you show off any clothes, or general items you have recently brought to him. Especially the clothes, he would REALLY love it if you treated his office like a mini walkway, strutting and turning with however much confidence you have. He loves it. The way you talk, walk, smile, everything. He loves whatever you do, he just loves you.

#genshin #genshin hcs #genshin impact #genshin impact hcs #neuvillete x reader #neuvilette genshin #neuvillette #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley genshin #wriothesley x you #genshin headcanons #zzonie

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 2 years ago

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(TW: Sex - educational context, HIV prevention)

My dear lgbt+ kids,

After my last post about HIV, I received multiple asks like "I feel embarrassed to ask something so stupid but..." - and the pure fact that I got multiple of them already proves that not knowing something is no reason to be embarrassed!

Many people are not super confident in their HIV knowledge. Acknowledging that and seeking more info is a great thing. I decided to put all these questions in one post:

How do you even get HIV?

Certain body fluids can transmit HIV:

blood

semen (cum)

pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum)

rectal fluids

vaginal fluids

breast milk.

Most adults who get HIV get it through sex (vaginal or anal) or sharing needles (or other drug injection equipment). Getting it from oral sex is also possible but less common.

Parent-to-child transmission (birth, breastfeeding) is the most common way that children get HIV.

Can you get HIV from topping?

Yes. Both the top and the bottom can get HIV through penetrative sex (top means you are penetrating your partner, bottom means your partner is penetrating you).

During anal sex, the bottom has a higher risk. That's because HIV can enter the body through the rectum’s thin lining. But: HIV can also enter the body through the opening at the tip of the penis or the foreskin or small cuts/scratches/sores anywhere on the penis.

During vaginal sex, either partner can get HIV as well, through vaginal tissue, the cervix or the penis as described above.

Can you get HIV from kissing?

You can’t transmit HIV through saliva, so there would need to be blood (or another fluid of the ones named above) involved. That means you could theoretically get HIV from open-mouthed kissing if both partners have sores or bleeding gums - but this is very rare.

You can’t transmit HIV at all through closed-mouthed kissing.

Can you get HIV from a public toilet?

The only realistic risk of getting HIV from a public toilet is by having sex or sharing drug equipment in there!

HIV does not survive long outside the human body (like on the toilet seat or door handle) and it cannot reproduce outside a human host. Wash your hands, as there are other germs that do survive on surfaces, but don't worry about HIV.

Can you get HIV from getting a tattoo?

You theoretically could - if the equipment or ink has someone else’s blood in it. This is unlikely to happen unless the person doing your tattoo uses unsterilized needles.

If you get a tattoo or piercing, make sure that the person doing the procedure is properly licensed and uses only new or sterilized equipment.

Can you get HIV from masturbating?

No. The only possible way would be if there were bodily fluids from an infected person on your fingers or sex toys.

It's always a good idea to wash your hands first because there could be other germs/irritants on them - but if you are doing it all alone, there is no risk of HIV. If you are masturbating together with another person, try to avoid sharing toys. If you do share them, use a new condom for each partner.

Can you get HIV from drinking alcohol?

When we talk about transmission via drug use, we are talking about sharing needles or drug equipment - they may have someone else's blood on them.

Alcohol use doesn't involve needles, you can not directly get HIV from being drunk. But: being drunk (or high) can lead to risky behavior that sober you wouldn't participate in, such as unprotected sex! It's a good idea to be careful around alcohol.

Isn't there a cure for HIV by now?

No. Once you have HIV, you have it for life - but the good news are there is treatment available! Someone who is HIV-positive and starts receiving treatment early has a normal life expectancy.

Medicine can reduce the amount of HIV in the blood (this is called viral load). In fact, it can make the viral load so low that a test can’t detect it anymore - and if you have an undetectable viral load, you will not transmit HIV to others!

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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accio-victuuri · 2 years ago

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ESQUIRE COVER STORY

Cover Character | Xiao Zhan : The Crack

"There have been two Xiao Zhans for a long time, and one of them is here, and that is me."

Xiao Zhan said while eating in the middle of filming in the Mountain Scenic Area in Chongqing at the beginning of February. "There is another Xiao Zhan, Xiao Zhan in quotation marks, but he may not be me anymore. We all work for him, including myself."

Xiao Zhan put down his chopsticks, opened his hands, palms facing each other, as if he was gesturing for an invisible small box.

Same as before - like most people - nothing special - just want to do this job well - don't think much of it - don't know what else to do - just be alone - In the narration about Xiao Zhan, no matter Xiao Zhan himself or the staff around him, from time to time, they can only end with these sentences when faced with questions floating in the air.

For a star, the mentality of most people may be contradictory. On the one hand, people are used to the world of labels, and they want to summarize a stranger with a few words, and they don’t want to work hard; on the other hand, the impulse to explore the truth often attracts us to question labels and look for more familiar emotions and human nature. . For Xiao Zhan, this contradiction is particularly prominent: he has very few labels, and no one can find out the most accurate ones; at the same time, the closer people are to him, the more they find that his life is the one we are most familiar with - because we are so familiar, we suspect that it is not true. This contradiction is like a crack. Xiao Zhan is doing everything he should do in this crack.

When I was young, usually before Chinese New Year, Xiao Zhan would climb a mountain in order to worship his ancestors. At that time, he felt that Chongqing is really too big, the mountains are so far away, and it takes such a long way to climb the mountains. In the morning, I just woke up, followed the adults, started from home, took the bus to the junction station, changed trains, went from the southern district of Chongqing to Jiangbei, crossed the river, and came to the entrance of the mountain. It was the 1990s, and the mountain road was still a dirt road at that time, and people in the village walked out on their feet I don’t know how many years ago. There are weeds on the side of the road, and the road is narrow, less than one meter wide, and cars cannot drive on it. Xiao Zhan remembers that the mountain road under his feet sometimes appears and disappears, clear for a while, blurred for a while, when it catches up with the rainy day, the road is very slippery, and the children run in front. Children always rush to the front, and adults always follow behind shouting, wrong, wrong, not over there, but over here.

Without coordinates and navigation, Xiao Zhan and his family could only rely on their memory to find the ancestral house on the side of the mountain road. It was a brown-black wooden house. The house may be a hundred years old, and grandma Xiao Zhan's parents or grandma's grandparents once lived there. Of course, no one lives there now. Xiao Zhan walked in the old house. He remembered that there were two bedrooms on the first floor and a small bedroom on the second floor. There was a wooden ladder leading to the second floor. An old stove, burning firewood. The whole house is made of wood. There is a small yard outside the house, and there seems to be a pomegranate tree inside.

This is an essential itinerary for a large family. On the mountain, there were many activities. Xiao Zhan and his brother and sister picked wild onions, pulled radishes, dug wild vegetables, and tried to make a fire to cook together. Tired of playing, sometimes he also tries to stay by himself for a while. He saw there were hills behind the big mountains, so he left his family and climbed up those hills, starting a child's adventure. When he got to the back of the hill, there was no one around, and he stayed there quietly, looking at the blue-black distant mountains. Families often stay on the mountain all day and don't go down until evening.

"Children are not afraid," he now recalled himself at the time, "only grown-ups will." Looking at the hazy distant mountains, he really wanted to walk over—the most important thing a child lacks is courage—— At that time, he felt that no matter how difficult the road was, he could climb up it with both hands and feet. But later, when he got older, went to middle school, went to university, and came to this mountain again, he didn't dare to climb as boldly and casually as he did when he was a child.

The last time I went to this mountain was a few years ago. Now the road has been newly built, and the expressway can directly lead to the foot of the mountain. Xiao Zhan and his family drove to the foot of the mountain, but the mountain still needs to be climbed with both legs. They are walking down the road that they have traveled over and over again for many years. When he was a child, Xiao Zhan felt that adults had long legs and walked so fast, but now, he stayed in Chongqing less and less, and found that his parents were getting old and couldn't walk anymore. He and his brothers and sisters carried their luggage, step by step, and the long and exhausting journey in memory - passing through so many places, such as a bamboo forest and a graveyard, marking a mileage after another - seemed to be shortened this time Without knowing it, I arrived at the gate of the old house without taking two steps. Looking back along the way, the large bamboo forest when I was a child is now just a small pile. There seemed to be only three or two of the horrific clusters of graves. There are also those small hills. When I was a child, it took so long to climb up. Now, it seems that I only need to lift my feet lightly, and I can climb up with one step. As for those steep ridges in memory, it seems that the slope has also dropped now. The dirt road is gone, and the black asphalt winding mountain road is shining in the sun. There are also resorts, farmhouses, and many viewing platforms built on the mountain.

The mountain used to be so far away and so high, Xiao Zhan thinks now, but as time goes by, the mountain is no longer far away, nor is it so high. At that time, he was just an ordinary Chongqing kid, but now, many people know Xiao Zhan. However, what has not changed is that the mountain still has no name.

Now, Xiao Zhan still dreams of the place where he lived when he was a child, the factory area that meant the whole world at that time. The factory area seems to belong to a certain auto parts production company—the first district, the second district, the third district, the fourth district, and the fifth district—he even forgot which district he lived in—the houses in the factory area are very similar, seven or eight The buildings are high and the buildings are dusty in my memory. There are many playmates of the same age in the factory area. When homework is done—as in the rest of the country—the children run downstairs, their cries echoing in the air. "So-and-so come down quickly! So-and-so has already come down!" Playing at eight or nine o'clock, the mothers would stick their heads out of the window again, calling down from a distance in the night: "So-and-so, come home! So, sleep!"

Playing football, playing hide-and-seek, hiding in haystacks or corners, some dark corners. The scariest place in the factory area is an abandoned sewer, with a huge hole and the height of a person, and it’s so dark inside that you can’t see anything. Occasionally a bat flies out. Brave children, light a match and go inside. Xiao Zhan had never been inside the cave, it was too dark, and he watched them from afar.

Falls are commonplace, children will fall to the ground while running, and so is Xiao Zhan, who left a lot of scars on his knees. Now, looking at those childhood scars, he felt that that might be a more real life. Now it's more false, unreal. At that time, there were no mobile phones or the Internet. The life at that time seemed to be still here every moment, like a photo was taken, stopped in the memory, and stayed in the heart. Xiao Zhan still remembers that sometimes his parents would not let him go downstairs, worrying that he would play too wildly. He was alone in the room, leaning over the window and looking down. He can still recall what he saw at that time—the balcony of the neighbor's house, the flowerpots on the balcony, the clothes to dry, the garden downstairs, and the paths in the garden. He remembers everything clearly. When he was in the third or fourth grade of elementary school, he folded the plane and threw the paper plane down from the fifth floor. A plane flew so far that it reached the balcony of the next building. He also often dreamed of running around the factory grounds, where he had run as a child. In these dreams, Xiao Zhan doesn't seem to have left here and came back again. He remembered the mood in the dream - he still lived here, but now he was just tired from playing, climbed the stairs, went home, and wanted to go to the bedroom to sleep.

At that time, Xiao Zhan's home was on the fifth floor. When going up the stairs, the corridors are aging, and many lights are no longer on. Every time he walked to the third floor, out of fear of the dark, he would take a deep breath and rush up to the fourth floor with a "bang bang bang", and there would be lights on the fourth floor. Now, every once in a while, he still dreams about the dark third-floor hallway. The dream was pitch black, I couldn't see anything, I didn't know what was in the corner. Another time, he was very impressed. In his dream, he had passed through the darkness on the third floor and came to the fifth floor, but there was still no light. Facing the familiar door, the self in the dream stretched out his hand, struggling to unscrew the door, but he couldn't open it, so he clenched his fist and knocked on the door, but there was no one in the room. He couldn't open that door no matter what, so he stood in vain in the corridor in his dream.

Like everyone else, Xiao Zhan sometimes dreams about exams. Every time he wakes up with a start. Once was a math teacher, a little fierce. In fact, he liked that teacher very much, but in the dream, the teacher looked at him and said, what's the matter with you, why can't you solve a single problem? He looked at the functions in the book and was dumbfounded, "How can I still remember the functions? I can't do a single question, it's over."

The factory area is the whole world, it is almost vast and boundless. If you want to go to the factory area, you have to report to your parents in advance, just like going abroad. At that time, he was reading encyclopedias, a set of four, one of which was about the earth and the universe. There was a picture in the book, which was a cross-section of the earth, and there were many layers under the surface. He thought the earth was like this, so he remembered that there was a particularly large stone in the garden downstairs. He later called his friends to come to the rock together, and suggested that we move it away, and the magma is underneath, which is the real appearance of the earth.

Thinking back now, such thoughts at that time were naive and ridiculous, but he savored it carefully, and still didn’t know why he was so obsessed with that stone and the true appearance of the earth at that time—it was just an ordinary stone, a child, but he wanted to learn from it. See the whole universe behind you.

Chongqing in Xiao Zhan's memory is very old and very new. In the movie theater, he remembers that in the 1990s, his parents took him to watch "The Yellow River", "The Lotus Lantern" and "The Disaster of the Python". When going to Jiefangbei, you have to squeeze the bus. It's really hard to squeeze in. Presumably everyone wanted a seat. He couldn't remember exactly which bus it was - maybe it started with 3 - and after getting on the bus, people would quarrel and sometimes fight over the seats. There was so much traffic on that road, there was always something like that going on. Standing in the car, Xiao Zhan looked out of the window. The bus passed through a long section of quiet and peaceful road in the lower city, and the two sides of the window showed the appearance of a somewhat old old city. However, after crossing the Yangtze River Bridge, he immediately entered a cheerful, modern modern city. It was already Shangcheng District. At that time, Chongqing had already started to build high-rise buildings. As for the lower urban area, the old houses used to be the most adjacent to the river, and most of them have been demolished long ago. Such a cityscape is very charming, Xiao Zhan thinks now, as if he is in the history, in the calm past that can't go away, when he looks up, he can see the dazzling glass curtain walls on the high-rise buildings, like those mysterious Things that go to the future have to take themselves away.

There is also Datianwan Stadium in Yuzhong District. A era. Chongqing's home court was popular all over the country at that time. His father took him to watch football, Chongqing Lifan, in 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000 - the best years of the Chongqing team - the stadium was often filled with tens of thousands of people, and everyone shouted "Chongqing, Xiongqi!" Xiao Zhan was young at the time, so he couldn't understand, looking at the dense crowd of people's heads, he just felt lively.

That was the age of reading newspapers. When he was young, Xiao Zhan’s family had always subscribed to the Chongqing Commercial Daily. He liked to read newspapers, and he would almost finish reading the newspapers with so many pages. Later, a few years later, when he grew up, there was a free "Chongqing Morning News" on the subway light rail, and he also took a copy habitually. Usually, he reads social news first, and reads it from beginning to end. Sometimes, when the newspaper is finished and the subway has not arrived, he turns to the front page and reads it from beginning to end.

It was also the era of pen pals. In school, the teacher encouraged the students to make pen pals—perhaps to improve their ability to write essays—he also made one, and communicated with each other, chatting about the weather, sunshine, and rain in Chongqing. However, there are only two correspondences. However, he still remembered the state of waiting for his letter. After writing the letter, only a week later, he came to the school's reception room to check the class mailbox. Cracking his hand upwards, he opened the iron box, and looked for the letter with the word "Xiao Zhan" written on it from the thick stack of envelopes.

Time moves forward in a certain flowing order. junior high school. high school. University. He took the college entrance examination and filled in the art volunteers. His score exceeded the Chongqing score line, and he could also take the school examinations of other schools across the country. The teacher asked Xiao Zhan, are you sure you want to choose Chongqing? Do you want to go out and try it, for example, go to Beijing or Zhejiang, and go to Gome to see it.

He said no. Xiao Zhan is very clear that Chongqing is very good. He likes Chongqing so much. If he hadn't been an actor and didn't have to go to so many places, he might have stayed here forever. However, he also thinks now that everything is unknown, if there is a parallel world, he might not be in Chongqing long ago. It's not that he deliberately wants to leave, nor does he deliberately want to stay, it's just that he doesn't have a clear destination, and he doesn't have to go somewhere.

Now he has forgotten the name of the road to work. Introduced by a friend, he submitted his resume and passed the interview. The design company was in an industrial park in Chongqing, and he couldn't remember whether it was on the second or third floor. Walking in, there are rows of workstations. The company is not big, with about ten people. Go to work at nine o'clock in the morning and leave work at six o'clock in the evening, clock in twice. He went out from home, took a bus, and crossed a bridge. Sit when available, stand when not available. Sometimes it blocks, sometimes it doesn't. In a meeting at work, he sits sideways—like most people—he wants to sit furthest away from his boss. The work is mainly to make pictures and draw pictures. They wear headphones, listen to songs and draw pictures. The whole atmosphere of the office is relatively dark, with a dark industrial style, and the air conditioner makes a muffled sound in the room. On a rainy day, the room gets even darker. He doesn't smoke, and he doesn't care if the air is a bit smoky when he is close to his colleagues who smoke at his work station. Sometimes, if customers want something urgent, they have to stay up all night and work overtime. When he came out in the morning, his head was a little heavy, Xiao Zhan went to a nearby convenience store to buy some snacks.

If it's raining when you get off work, it's a bit annoying. Xiao Zhan had to walk uphill to take the bus. The rainwater flowed down the road. He walked up against it, which was equivalent to going up against the current. After a few steps, his shoes were completely wet. Tired already, his whole body was sticky from the water, and now water got into his shoes, and he stood there anxiously waiting for the bus. There are many people leaving get off work, and the first bus may not be able to get on, so continue to stand and wait for the next one.

After the salary was paid, he gave part of it to his parents and kept some for himself. He doesn't smoke or drink, and he goes to KTV with his friends at most, and rarely goes shopping. He was really short of clothes when the seasons changed, so he thought about buying two. This habit has been maintained-what is missing, what to buy, and to buy directly, never go to the mall first.

Now, after waking up, Xiao Zhan stood in front of the mirror. In the mirror, his hair is messy, and sometimes his face is a little swollen. He thought, what would they think if they were seen like this? He is responsible for his own image. As an artist, you have to care about appearance. He loves to eat bread, but carbohydrates make people swollen, and filming will cause single eyelids to become swollen. Then restrain the desire. There is a play where skewers are to be eaten, so he will be hungry for a while in advance. For a while, he stopped drinking water after six o'clock every night. For a while, he was so thin that he lost 20 catties than his usual weight. But he felt that there was nothing to say about these, just for work needs.

His face looks small. Many people saw him and asked how old he was. He likes to pretend to be vicissitudes and say that he is over thirty. But people always think that this person is in his early twenties. He said thank you. But being small isn't always good. When you want to play some roles that relatively need to control the age span, looking younger is an obstacle to the shaping of the characters. Once, he met several older actors in the play, and he observed their expressions and facial movements. He noticed that the corners of a person's mouth will go down a little with age, and he also deliberately learned to face down. There is also eyes to learn - it turns out that he always looks at things with focus and concentration, which are the eyes of young people - when he observes those older actors, he finds that they are squinting when they see people. Focus, don't care, don't bother - he learned it, and looked at himself in the mirror, it seemed that he finally looked alike. Of course, he is not just pursuing a sense of age, but because of the needs of the plot, he wants to shape the character more completely and prevent the audience from jumping.

He started exercising and consciously training his muscles in the second half of 2020. In the past, he only ran regularly. Later, because he wanted to play a strong man in a play, he started to exercise. This habit has been retained until now. Now, even in the dressing room, he finds time to do some high-efficiency workouts, or go for a run. But always, there are always some voices who worry that he will destroy the image he once had. He also didn't want to grow his hair longer, and he didn't want to keep bangs when he made up. The team will always tell him, you listen to everyone's voice, you look better that way. Sometimes, he made himself rough on purpose, and people would indeed be angry—and many people would be angry—sometimes, there would be voices from outside telling him, you don’t want to exercise—this face is his, but Countless people looked at it, and countless people asked for it—this face, the face in the mirror, Xiao Zhan looked at it, sometimes thinking that it belonged to him, and it seemed to belong to other people.

Being considered good-looking, will this become a stumbling block in his acting career? More than once, someone asked him that. It may be the same dilemma for good-looking stars. He would think so too. But he can't do anything on purpose. Everything depends on the script, the plot, and the needs of the characters. If you're playing a young man in an urban drama, he thought, it's not right to be ugly on purpose. If the plot is worthwhile and requires him to change this face, then he also has enough enthusiasm and willingness to change for the role. This face can help him, but he also knows that sometimes he has to pay more.

Now, he thought, perhaps it was more important to find balance. Some of the people who like him will stay forever, and some will leave. He just walked forward step by step, just like climbing a mountain when he was a child, with this ever-changing Xiao Zhan's face.

When reading the script, Xiao Zhan always thinks a little carefully—if he is an audience at the moment, and he looks at it from the perspective of a third party, can this story, this script move him, and can he empathize with this character? ——He was very afraid of just becoming a wandering spirit on the scene, just standing and reciting lines. There's no point in saying lines in vain, he knows. In an emotionally charged costume drama, those days, he was always figuring out how to speak in order to make the audience worry about him. The best class, of course, is playing with those better actors. He is not afraid of the audience saying that he is not as good as those senior actors. What he cares more about is whether he has made progress in the play and whether he has learned new things

When he first started acting, Xiao Zhan did what the director said. But in fact, until now, he still doesn't know which expression or which action of himself in the camera is "good"-he really doesn't know where the standard is, and no one has discussed such issues with him-what is it like? face is right? The so-called actor face, movie face, model face, idol face, these mysterious words, what is the difference between them? His criterion for judging is very simple, that is, to only look at the picture itself, and see if the face in the picture can move him.

Now, Xiao Zhan will have dreams every time he arrives at a new crew. He often dreamed that the director came to him and asked him how to perform a scene. "But I can't even remember the lines" - he thought in a panic in the dream - and then woke up suddenly. He couldn't fall asleep, got out of bed, came to the table, took a pen to mark on the script, looked for those unreasonable places, and continued to recite the lines.

One way to relieve stress is to run. Now running is not as convenient as before, and now there are always people following. In 2016, he just debuted and lived in Moon River. In order to be photogenic, he always runs along the small river next to him. Later, there was a drama, and he went to Xiangshan, Zhejiang. Every night, as long as there was no night drama, he would go for a run. The summer was very hot. At that time, Xiangshan was empty and far away, and there were some vast and endless farmlands—unlike when he went to Xiangshan a few years later, it completely turned into a bustling scene—there were wheat fields and rice fields in the countryside, which were very beautiful. After dark, he ran along the concrete road at the edge of the field. There are often big cars coming on the road. For safety, he will turn on the flash of his mobile phone so that passing vehicles can see the lights and notice people. Sometimes he runs alone, sometimes with other actors. After running for a while, the body will be soaked, but it is very comfortable, hot and cool. Sometimes while running, it will rain in the sky—Xiao Zhan is Xiao Zhan at this time, he feels—at this time, he completely belongs to himself.

From his debut, from his first play to now, every role of Xiao Zhan is not repeated. Every time, when receiving a new script, whether he or the team, always ask, do you really want to take this role? Are you really going to make this movie? They repeatedly screened and considered, hoping that each character will have new progress, and each character is also different from Xiao Zhan.

What does he think of himself? There doesn't seem to be an easy answer. Filming, filming commercials, and some public events, other than that, Xiao Zhan stays alone most of the time. On the set, like a bat burrowing back into a cave, he burrows into a hotel room, and won’t come out until he can; usually, he stays at home, of course, except for the driver who picks him up at work, few people know where he lives— ——It's like a habit, more like an instinct—he estimated that if he switched to another job, he wouldn't like sitting in a cafe or bar. He didn't go to crowded places before, but his current job is surprisingly suitable for him—he can stay alone after work—watching dramas, playing games, doing push-ups, and thinking about things by himself.

There are many problems that you want to understand when you are alone - of course there are those that you can't understand - Xiao Zhan's method is to not think about it for the time being. Problems had to be solved by himself, and he hardly ever opened his mouth to others. Confidence is a word that is far away from him. A friend told him that if you are under pressure, you should tell others, talk to others, and vent. He disagrees. You can figure out the problems that can be solved by yourself, and talking about the problems that cannot be solved will only increase your troubles. He would rather do something new. It's an experience. People are constantly encountering problems. When new things encounter new problems, the old problems are forgotten. At this time, the answer is obvious: this shows that the previous problem is not so important. Even if those important issues are forgotten, they will resurface in the dead of night—like a big wave coming, a lone lost ship, at this time, Xiao Zhan feels that there is still no way.

It's not a question of telling, he thought. Even after talking to a hundred people, the problem is still there, unresolved, and it floats back in the middle of the night.

He has been like this since he was in college, because he does not confide and is unwilling to express, but he becomes a safe object, and he will be caught by his friends and confide in him. His character is a living tree hole. However, on the one hand, in order to help his friends, he always listens, and then forgets after listening; If it’s irrelevant, don’t talk about it, I really don’t want to hear it.” He felt that it was difficult to keep others’ secrets, so he tried his best not to listen to other people’s privacy—listening is risky, and if secrets are revealed, he would be one of the suspects—he He didn't want to be a suspect, let alone prove his integrity to his friends: "That's not what I said, I didn't betray you." That would be ridiculous, he thought.

Now, he spends very little time alone. When it is extravagant, there can be three days in a row. During these times, he and the staff try not to communicate with each other as much as possible, and keep busy with each other, leaving room for him to return to his own small universe. This was a habit at first, then became a tacit understanding, and is now a fact. Occasionally encountering a little trouble at work, Xiao Zhan seems to be able to draw some energy from his body at any time to firmly control the matter. An event, a rare accident, it was time to go on stage, they were still on the way to the stage, got out of the car, Xiao Zhan rushed to the stage, the host was improvising, filling the time sentence by sentence. Walking to the stage, Xiao Zhan remembered that his heart was still beating wildly, he suppressed it first, and then sent the words out of his mouth. But no one saw any flaws—he was too well controlled, too steady—and like so many times before, the staff was sure that he really had a small universe with him.

"I'm going to run"—sometimes, he may be a little tired, or suddenly want to relieve pressure, he joked like this—it's just a joke, but his expression is serious. What did you run away for? Maybe open a florist shop, or a gallery, he said. I can run anywhere—in short, stay alone—to the factory area of my childhood, the stands in Datian Bay, or the bus in Jiefangbei. You can also run back to the fifth floor where the door cannot be opened, or to the design station. If you continue to run, you will reach the mountain in your childhood. The mountain used to be so far away and so high, but as time goes by, the mountain is no longer so far away, nor is it so high. Many people know that his name is Xiao Zhan, but the mountain still has no name.

article source.

#xiao zhan #this is a long and interesting read about his life from a child to adulthood #loved it!!!!!#the way he said he also works for this other xiao zhan gets me

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lunarmoonanons · 2 years ago

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The Dragon Pit

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕 YN and Daemon take a trip to the dragon pit. Even though YN is meant to be a caged dragon.

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕

Masterlist

Alysanne had walked around the Red Keep, she grew ever more worried as her pace quickened. She could not find her dear daughter YN anywhere. Her 7 year old girl had been growing well and lively under the protection of the court. She was deemed the realm’s joy and her happy nature made her a place in many people’s hearts. But Alysanne could not find it in her to share her youngest. Whenever she was away from YN, her heart hurt and her hands shook. She had thought YN had outgrown her wanderlust but it seemed she was wrong.

Soon, Alyssanne was starting to breathe quick breaths as she scoured the keep. But there was no sign of YN. She looked in Gael’s room, but the sweet girl only shrugged. She looked around the gardens, in the passageways, even the kitchens but the little princess was nowhere. Her worry led her to her husband who looked alarmed at the sight of his frazzled wife.

“Alysanne? What is it?” Jaehaerys asked, rising from his throne.

“YN is missing. I’ve searched every feasible area and cannot find her.” Alysanne breathed, trying to hold her composure in front of the other people in the room. But her worries only made Jaehaerys start to worry as well.

“Have you sent guards to look for her?”

“I have. They haven’t seen her in the castle.” That made Jaehaerys worry even more, Usually his wife would worry when YN wasn’t near but when the guards themselves haven’t seen her that was cause to worry.

He turned to his kingsguard immediately. “Find my daughter. Search the whole city if you have to. Bring my daughter back.”

With a bow the guards turned and began to send out more men to search for the princess. Jaehaerys turned back to his wife and took her hand in his. Reassuring that YN would be found soon, his thoughts were interrupted when something crossed his mind. With a kiss to Alysanne’s forehead he left to look at the training yard. Where lo and behold Daemon was not present.

~~~~

YN didn’t usually disobey her mother and sneak out, but Daemon had promised her a special treat. He had snuck her out of her rooms early in the morning and led her through the streets of Kingslanding. His grip on her hand never loosened as the two snuck around the city.

“Are we almost there?” YN asked, looking around the strange buildings and people who didn’t recognise her due to the cap on her head.

“Almost. I promise. You’ll like this place.” Daemon promised and smiled at her. He enjoyed sparing and practicing Valyrian, but he loved spending time with YN.

YN smiled back and continued to gawk around at the city. She had never been allowed to leave the castle, at least at Dragonstone she would travel but here her parents kept her stuck in the Red Keep. She didn’t pay attention to the path that they took, but she was enamored with the people on the way. Occasionally she would try to pull her hand away in an attempt to go and play with the children that they passed, but Daemon would only grab tighter and pull her along.

Soon he brought her to his favorite place to sneak out to. The Dragon pit. They took the long way over so as to throw the guards off their trail. He wanted to show YN the pride of their house that slept in the caves and tunnels beneath the pit.

“You’ll like this place YN. I come here all the time. I think you should see the dragons that make our house so strong.” Daemon said grinning at the girl who scrunched her face in confusion.

“I don’t know… I’m not really allowed to be around the dragons, or near the dragon pit… Mommy and Daddy might get really mad.” YN muttered and looked back to the red castle that towered over their city.

“It’ll be fine. You won’t get in trouble.” Daemon pulled and led her inside.

The two small children snuck around the large structure. YN marveled at the large building’s dome and smiled at the pretty walls. This place was new and very exciting for her. Daemon was happy that she seemed to like it, and pulled her along to find a dragon. He usually did this on his own, but this was something that the two of them could share. Daemon led her down to one of the pathways that led to the dragons curled in their caves. Once he heard loud heavy breathing, he smiled and held YN closer. They came across Dreamfyre, curled up and sleeping peacefully. YN scooched closer to Daemon as he stepped forward with his hand raised.

“We should go. I don’t want to wake her.” YN whispered and tried to pull him back, but Daemon shook his head slightly and stepped closer to the dragon. “Please Daemon. I’m scared. I think we should go back.”

“Just be calm she won’t hurt you.” Daemon tried to explain, but his attention was brought to YN when he felt her shaking. “YN…”

“I want to go back..” YN whispered, tears pricking at her lids.

“Okay.” Daemon sighed and spirited her away quickly.

They barely made it back out of the pit when they were swarmed by goldcloaks who were looking for them. Daemon’s face scrunched in anger at the ruined fun that came with them being here. One large goldcloak stepped forward and picked YN up, telling her that her father was looking for her.

“We have to bring them both back, don’t drop her.” Their leader commanded and placed his hand on Daemon’s shoulder.

Once they were back in the throne room, Daemon was under the angry gaze of the king who was furious at what the two were up to, but not at YN. Never at his precious princess. Daemon showed no fear and stared at the king right back into his old face. His father Baelon stood behind him, equally mad he “endangered” YN.

“Have you anything to say for yourself?” Jaehaerys asked.

“We wanted to play. I thought she’d enjoy seeing the pit.”

“So you brought my daughter to a dangerous area, knowing how fragile she is. You steal her away from her home and disobey my orders.” Jaehaerys glared down at the boy.

“I know of no orders, your majesty.” Daemon sassed.

Jaehaerys let out at angry breath then stood from his seat, he turned to his son who straightened under his gaze. “Your child is banned from being around your sister. She is too precious to be left in his hands.”

“What?!” Daemon shouted, but shut his mouth at the sharp glare from the king.

“For how long father?” Baelon asked, resting a hand on Daemon’s shoulder.

“Until I believe he is no longer a threat to my daughter.” Jaehaerys then raised his hand to dismiss them.

Daemon shook his father’s hand off and stormed back to his room. It wasn’t fair. None of it. YN was a Targaryen, she had a right to be around dragons. The old king was just too obsessed with his daughter and never wanted her to be a true Targaryen. Daemon was furious with the king and vowed he’d prove himself to YN and would have her hand one day. One day the king would be dead, and no one would stop him.

@missglaskin @the-phantom-of-arda

@phantoms-main-blog

I know I’m supposed to tag one of the phantoms. So I’ll tag both.

#house of the dragon #house targaryen #Alysanne Targaryen #yandere alysanne #jaehaerys targaryen #yandere jaehaerys #baelon #daemon targeryan #yandere daemon targaryen #targaryens #yandere targaryen #yandere targaryens #The small dragon

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2kyo7 · 2 years ago

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𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐌; 𝟎𝟐

metkayina!reader x avatar 2

THAT NIGHT WHEN RETURNING home to your shared marui pod, it would start pouring rain, nothing you weren't accustomed to��but the weather somehow further dampening your foul mood.

The pod you lived in was a bit larger than most, with your grandmother being the clan's well respected healer, it was constantly covered in plants, mysterious liquids and various spices. She'd even taken the time to teach you a little about her work, but you couldn't be bothered to remember the information whole heartedly.

Walking on the very tips of your toes, you made it to one of the pod's many entrances without so much of a creak, pulling back the blanket of thick vegetation which served as some privacy while Tawmì worked. "Where have you been?" You were quick to turn around, braids entangling around your face in the process, all attempts of stealth now entirely meaningless.

Suddenly air caught in your throat, trying to swallow it down enough so that you could speak. "I.. I went a little past the reef with Kanaya..." you took a few careful steps towards Tawmì, still keeping a safe distance away. It was difficult to grasp an emotion, her tone neutral and calm, she sat in a corner mixing a concoction, back hunched obscuring her face.

"Hm."

Besides the sound of rain water connecting with the sea, there had grew a long silence between the two of you. Until Tawmì lifts a single finger that gestures you to kneel on the floor along side your herself, she was—like always—hard at work, grinding a stone tool against a herb which was laid out on a wooden mat.

"Help me girl, make yourself useful." Though your grandmother's words would've sounded harsh to anyone else, they were words of compassion to you, attentively following her directions, a small smile growing on your features knowing she'd no longer seemed to be angry with you.

"____, tomorrow you will teach Toruk Makto's children our way of life." It took you a moment to register her words, Toruk Makto? Those five-fingered devils? Your eyes were blown wide with hurt, "Grandmother, you of all na'vi know—"

"I will not hear any of it!" Tawmì sandwiched your lips between her fingers, cutting your rant short. "Tomorrow you shall bring them fruits and beg them for forgiveness." Once releasing you, she immediately went back to work as if she hadn't asked an impossible feat.

Rubbing the now swollen skin, you became lost in thought, feeling your lips quiver and tears build once more. What have I done to deserve such a punishment grandma? You noticed the copious amount of gathered fruit resting in a bowl near your bed, ready for delivery when you awoke in morning. "I refuse to teach those beast anything." Out of frustration, you fiddled with the pearls which occupied a braid—catching your soft bottom lip between your teeth.

"You cannot live in the past any longer, I will not allow it." Her words echoed throughout your brain, lowering yourself onto the soft fabric, completely drained of the day.

Even as a child you were extremely independent and stubborn, Tawmì remembered, lack of parental guidance only amplified this fact. You still enjoyed playing and socializing with others, no doubt, but at the end of each day she always found you in deep connection to the sea, wether you'd be longingly looking at its waves or interacting with animals.

Tawmì would say, "we are all children of eywa's ocean, but my granddaughter was born to it."

Though Tawmì understood your deep hatred of the sky people, she too feared everyday you grew more resentful—and eventually you'd do something terrible—irreversible even.

That is why she puts you through these trials, so you could see for yourself their was nothing to fear, that these were not the sky people who killed them.

She watches as you shift in your sleep, another nightmare... she thinks, placing a soothing hand atop your tense but unconscious form Tawmì begins to sing a lawr your mother sung to you as a child. Eywa hear my prayers, bring my grandchild to peace, do not curse this 'eveng for the faults of her sa'sem.

lawr - melody

'eveng - child

sa'sem - set of parents

The time was now midday, you'd spent the morning brooding around the pod until forced out by your tail, a large bowl filled to the brim with fruits resting loosely in your arms. You weren't exactly in a rush whatsoever to reach the Sully family's home, stopping along the way for multiple detours.

When you finally did arrive at your destination, about half the bowl went missing—some of the fruits you'd eaten yourself, offered to others, or fed to Ilu. It's not that much of a difference, how could they know anyhow? Before entering you noticed them all kneeled around each other in a circle, your head tilts in confusion and wonder. Flinching when Toruk Makto's eyes met yours, his family's following.

They all stood, the atmosphere suddenly becoming extremely tense due to your presence. You walked into their pod with a quick glance around, taking note of their strange forest belongings, you were met with a simple greeting from the two younger male na'vi (Neyetam and Lo'ak, were there names—grandmother had told you) an "I see you." just like yesterday. Instead of completely dejecting them you sent a small nod their way, seemingly surprising the two.

The youngest na'vi—Tuk—hid behind her mother as the other remained silent, simply observing your movements. Approaching Toruk Makto, you held up the bowl of fruit to him and his mate. "I bring fruit to Toruk Makto—and his kin," the mood lightened very moderately at your words, which contradicted your expression. Lips pressed in a thin line, almost scowl, ears twitching occasionally and eyes appearing bored.

"Thanks kid, that's very nice of you��isn't it guys?" Toruk Makto looked around, prodding his family for a response. There were small sounds of recognition, no one majorly thankful for your efforts, except the smallest na'vi who genuinely seemed grateful. "Thank you!"

"Just so you know, my kids aren't sky people." Your head tilted for the second time today, does he lie to protect them? A hmph sounded from your lips as you turned to scan over his off spring, again. The oldest and youngest were relatively normal all things considered, but the same could not be said about their siblings.

"You can hold my hand again," everyone immediately turned to stare at Lo'ak questioningly, realizing the crudeness of his statement, he was quick to correct himself—"f-for proof, of course."

Neteyam silenced his brother with a simple grasp of the shoulder, saving him from any further embarrassment.

The look you sent Toruk Makto was one of complete doubt, circling around them for a moment, their mother clearly unhappy at your staring. "I will teach Toruk Makto's children, but only if they will learn."

"Toruk Makto's children have names, y'know." Your attention was lured by the female na'vi similar in height, she stared you down in annoyance, she was the most demonic out of them, you cut your eyes away from her form, finding the comment equally bothersome. "I'm sure they do."

"We meet where the currents are lightest, can Toruk Makto's children handle that much?" Not waiting on their response, you dove into the ocean's salty waters and in almost no time at all, you were gone. "Ugh! I hate her! Dad did you see the way she was staring at us?" Kiri held herself even tighter, ears bent in anger. Neteyam and Lo'ak also felt unsettled by your comments, but clearly not as bothered as their sister, Tuk oblivious as ever.

"Come on babygirl, clearly she's got somethin' against the sky people—jus' give her some time, she'll come around." Jake's attempt did little to comfort his daughter, only irritating Kiri further, whatever the sky people had done, did little to do with them, her family was not at fault.

Jake soon sent his children away from their training, a few words of encouragement to go with them. "I'm so worried ma Jake, that girl...she holds such hate." He could only hold Neytiri against his chest to soothe her worries, "the kids are strong, have faith in them."

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halfmyth · 7 days ago

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𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘞𝘈𝘕𝘛 𝘛𝘖 𝘋𝘐𝘌 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌. 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘼𝙇𝙒𝘼𝙔𝙎 𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀.

( evan mock . cis man . he/they ) — blasting cool-doug, at night by sammy rae & the friends down main street we’ve spotted KIERAN “KIKI” AQUINO sporting their pearl earring & pink buzzcut. the seventy-two (appears twenty-seven) year old VAMPIRE who’s been in town for six years often can be seen driving around town with rolled-down windows, crying during sad scenes in movies, trying new recipes, or working as an SURGEON at PORTUM GENERAL. people say they display good-humored and irreverent traits, but we rather trust their vibes: the scent of salted ocean air, knowing that the sun is there even if you cannot see it, hearing someone whistle a song you forgot the name of, a dog running with a stick of dynamite between its teeth. also, we’ve heard they love SURFING, DISCO, & BIRDS ! aren’t they fascinating ?

biography .

kieran is born in 1952 to two older parents who had, in their retirement, finally followed their dreams to move away from rigorous city living to a small coastal town in southern australia. his parents had all but given up on having children, and kieran's birth was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. kieran ( better known as “kiki” ) had a happy upbringing, awash with love. it soon became apparent that he was a surfing prodigy. by the age of ten, he was competing in national competitions, winning multiple junior titles in the late 60s & early 70s. he disappeared from the sport in his mid-twenties, something that was seen as a shame but not too deeply investigated. most attributed his early retirement to an injury he sustained during a competition ( or out of it ). in reality, he fell in love with a merman @highertides. after realizing that his boyfriend was indeed immortal, not one to be outdone by fate, kiki went and got himself turned into a vampire. voluntarily. ah, young love.

extras .

has been in a committed relationship with his husband ( rui aquino ) for the last fifty years !!

while not entirely reckless, he's not opposed to taking risks. he doesn't often let his thoughts spiral, instead choosing to act first and deal with the consequences.

athletic & active ! still surfs at the crack of dawn and has probably run marathons before.

gets along with kids — maybe because he still is one at heart. lies to them about how old he is and where he is from. there are kids running around portum who think he’s a 500 year old vampire pirate.

was a part of melbourne's counterculture in the 70's.

on that note. lies for fun !! but it’s rarely malicious. very lame sense of humor. finds himself funny.

owns two caiques: razor and scooter. owns some pet fish as well.

this isn’t his first time in portum. he also briefly lived in town sometime in the 80’s(?), but left after a bit. probably to travel.

being a surgeon isn’t his first career path. only the truly bizarre and immortal would find med school to be a side quest, but that’s what being a surgeon is for him. it’s something he enjoys and finds interesting.

more tba !!

wanted connections .

SIRE . he would have been turned ~45 years ago (in 1979). not looking for anything super weighty or angsty here. while i’m more than open to a past negative relationship, maybe they have a mutual understanding now and kiki is more or less just an annoyance. or, maybe their relationship has more or less been positive for the past few decades, and your muse felt that it was refreshing that someone wanted the bite for a “pure” reason as opposed to wealth or power. — taken by seyfi mocan .

IMPRINT . people he’s taken under his wing !! i was mainly thinking younger vampires, but it could be other supernaturals. we could work out the particulars, but i feel like he’s the type to accumulate strays 😭

A LONG WAY BACK . long-term connections and/or people he’s met outside of portum !!

GROWING PAINS . a mentor/guide of sorts; someone older than kiki (90+) who's been someone he has confided in throughout the years. while kiki did consider the ramifications of being 27 forever, it's one thing to think you'll know what it's like and another to actually be faced with the reality of outliving friends, family, and the culture you grew up in. — taken by calahan macarthy .

+ super willing to brainstorm !!

#portum:intro #// this is all over the place .. maybe i'll revisit this in a month. maybe i won't !

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dorylinae-supremacy · 10 months ago

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Almost 3am and I physically cannot stop thinking about dark fluffy fae AU’s

Fae au… save me.. Fae au Save me fae au

I have decided that this is my chance to ramble about all the fae WIPS I have noted down so read all that under the break! It’s very very long so enjoy!

First concept is Phil being vaguely magic and then falling in love with Kristin and them having 3 half fae children who are just weird and wonderful.

They’re not human so they don’t entirely understand things (which can lead to them just being fucked up sometimes) but they still go out and spread their magic.

Techno toys with crops, using his gifts of magic for both good and evil while Wilbur weaved his own magic into his words and form. He can convince anyone of anything if he works hard enough.

Tommy would be a chaotic bundle that just shoots out spells at random, causing mayhem wherever he goes.

Another concept is a fairy au where the seelie have butterfly wings while unseelie have either moth or other insect wings I can’t decide. Techno, a seelie Prince, is given off to the other court as a sign of good will.

From my silly little notes he basically has to put off a massive performance for them to save his branch of the fae family tree. Problem is his parents are assholes.

Obviously shenanigans ensue where Wilbur decides to scope out this other Prince and ends up deciding that he’s brother materiel.

Queue him using a bit of madness magic to make Techno go a bit off his rocker and begin to get violent. It all would end in the big performance where he dances and dances and by the time he’s done he realises he killed all the others and then gets adopted.

I also have another AU where fae!Wilbur is pushed into having his own circle far too young and ends up trapped in a deal with human!SBI because of it.

General vibes of that one is that he’s way too young to be making deals of that kind but he gets forced into it anyway and now he has to try and trick people.

Techno comes across him since they set Wilbur up in the palace garden and immediately spots how bad he is at being a fae after Wil fails horribly at tricking him.

Obviously since Techno is incapable of being normal he starts to obsess because Wil took a similar appearance to him since he was the first person he saw. He’s ofc very very interested and now keeps visiting him.

Eventually after a bunch of visits Techno figures out Wils name and steals him away. He reassured Wil that he doesn’t wanna actually do anything bad, he just kinda wants to keep him as a brother and Wil can’t decide if that’s better or worse.

Ofc Techno has to show his new surprise brother to the rest of the family and they’re all not normal about it at all. Phil is probably like “aww what do you have there?” as if Techno didn’t just bring a magical fucking being into the castle.

They bind him in more deals probably. I think Wil would try and be like “I’ll give you whatever you want just let me go” and parentsduo try and let him down softly that he’s literally never going back to the fae realm.

And now I must reveal to you my Sweeter Than Honey brainrot that I hoard away.

First one is very very soft. It’s just a vague outline of Phil deciding to teach Techno how to bake and it’s everything Tech deserves and more. That boy deserves the absolute world.

There’s a small bump in the road where he’s not careful and kinda burns himself but it heals very quickly and he gets cuddles in the nest for it.

My next 2 centre around parties because I think fae have lots of them.

Yet again we have another silly one. It’s the first party that they’ve really had after Techno became a fae and he ends up getting swooped up between different groups of fae. He actually does end up making a few genuine friends and it’s yet again everything he deserves.

He heads out into a garden area with his new besties for a bit and forgets how bad the Prince going missing looks and comes back to Phil freaking out.

After the old man is done having a heart attack it’s time to wrap up and he gets excited to see his friends again sometime soon. He gets all tucked into the nest and dozes off a bit before Phil / Kristin ask him if he enjoyed it.

He kinda mumbles that it’s the first time he’s ever enjoyed a party and thanks them for bringing him to it. He gets a little kiss on the head and falls back asleep.

My final one and what I think is my fav from my STH brainrot chronicles is this one. It’s based off an ask where lenn explained that the masks on the ferry would turn the wearer into the animal it presented.

I think you all know where this is going.

So by now his wings are more grown in, maybe it’s an anniversary of his yoinking who knows, and they’re celebrating on the ferry that brought him over to fae lands as a symbolism thing.

Technos exploring the ship again since it’s changed up appearance a little and ends up finding the mask room again. He makes not the smartest decision and decides to try on a pig mask.

Ofc he turns into a pig and then shenanigans ensue. Probably Bad and Skeppy figuring out that Techno is now a pig and instead of telling Kristin and Phil they kinda just chase him around. It’s a whole situation.

Either way parentsduo figure out that their kid is missing. Again. They flip their shit but try to keep it on the downlow a little. For now.

Obviously they eventually spot Skeppy and Bad chasing around a pig on the boat and connect the dots. They kinda fawn over pignoblade for a while before Kristin reverses the spell.

Fun thing about the ferry though is that it has a sense of humour. One that carries into its magic as well. This apparently includes having Techno keep some of those pig features even after the spell.

He gets some pointy ears, tusks and a tail for his troubles and ends up a bit self conscious about it. Since he feels dumb for falling for the mask and also now he has all these pig features.

Kristin and Phil obviously won’t allow that and let him know just how cute they think his new features are. He feels a bit better after they maybe imitate the traits onto themselves as well.

After that they return to the nest and he falls asleep with his little tail wagging because that’s what he deserves.

I also have a vague idea for a Wilbur centric fae fic but that’s long and I’ve spent like 30 mins just rambling on this post already.

If there’s weird spellings, words or autocorrect then I’m sorry I literally typed this all on phone. I will maybe probably go fix it later if I remember.

Until then, enjoy my delusions o7

#dorys snippets #kinda #dory brainrots #fuck it I’ll tag DSBI #dark sleepy bois inc #dark sbi #in case of anyone’s filters

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haleigh-sloth · 2 years ago

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I'll take the bait. How is rei's hospitalization not supposed to be something that helped her? The reason she was put there was crazy sure (the one that needed some hospitalization was always endvr) but its not like her kids forgot about her in the end. Also I believe the long time she was there was just for narrative purposes because hrks wanted her to be away.

Sorry I was gonna get around to posting it, I was tired yesterday lol.

I understand it's shown that she got better there. But I don't think enough people understand that 10 years being locked up in an institution is very fucking abnormal.

There is NO type of psychotic break or mental health break down that should lock you up for a fucking decade, unless it resulted in something serious like someone's death. And there is a reason that there is a shift from hiding people away to shifting them back into their community as soon as possible in several countries (not just the US), OR keeping them out of the hospital in the first place with research based protocols. Rei shouldn't have been separated from Shouto for 10 years. That is insane. That literally will make any parent more ill. Every mental health model you read up on will have an emphasis on a support system which usually consists of friends and family.

Endeavor put Rei in a hospital to get her out of his way, not because he gave a shit about her wellbeing.

Idk if Caleb put a twist on this or not, but it doesn't matter because the obvious tone here is "Oh, I got rid of her, she was getting in my way." Not positive. Then:

This is not a happy picture. I mean hopeful yes, but Shouto saying "I'll save her" while she's sitting in this small ass room, alone, staring out a window? I mean this is not...good. TEN YEARS???? I just cannot fucking fathom anyone justifying keeping someone (especially with Rei's circumstances) there that damn long. Holy shit.

And I mean, this isn't even a cultural debate. This is straight up not good for a person's wellbeing, to be separated from the real world, including your damn children only to have to wait for your older kids to decide to come visit you--and only when the hospital will allow it-- for ten years. But if we're gonna talk cultural, look up Japan's average psych bed ratio in comparison to other countries. Their reputation is not great lol. And I've seen plenty of commentary saying Rei's character kinda represents Japan's poor mental health care. It's just commentary so it's not fact or anything, but it's interesting I'm not the only one who thinks this about Rei, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the intention.

BUT, anyway honestly the reason I said that is because I see a lot of "I hope the villains get what Rei got 🥺". And I hate it. Because...she was locked up. Away from her family, no freedom.

Like if the manga is going to go for a "I'll save them no matter what" ending, then why end it by putting them in a place where Shouto felt like he needed to save his mom from?

Also...I mean please. This is shonen, it's a fantasy. We don't have to stick to realistic irl answers to shit. Jail is just stupid, but the hospital ending is even dumber imo. Especially if we're talking ten years like Rei--who was put away by her husband for the purpose of keeping her away from his children.

I mean, let's say we stick as close to realistic as possible without going the jail route--hospitals aren't therapeutic, that's not a healing setting. Mental health care is a community action and the idea is to get people back home with their support systems as quickly as possible. AND! If that's the case then damn, at least show ALL of the UA kids getting their damn counseling sessions too since they've been in two wars? And seen dead bodies of their loved ones? I mean, go all the way with it. But! I have 0% expectations of that happening. So...it's STILL dumb.

Just, I'd rather Horikoshi just go balls to the wall with the fantastical power of love and friendship and acceptance ending. Personally I have no desire to see Tomura or Touya or Toga or anybody end their story in a freaking hospital bed. Just, why. Give them hugs, hold their hands, and send them on their merry, unrealistically sappy way.

#todoroki rei #bnha #bnha asks #anonymous #also I'm cussing a lot but i'm not mad i'm just like WTF at this whole thing #TEN YEARS GOD DAMN

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feminismisstillahatemovement · 1 year ago

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It is incredible how many public figures, including our own Leader of the Opposition, have struggled to answer the simple question, “What is a woman?”. Of course, the truth is that they are almost certainly able to answer the question but are afraid to do so lest they unleash the rage of the increasingly aggressive trans-lobby.

I believe that, in a free society, people are entitled to live their lives in the way that they want, as long as it does not interfere with the freedom, safety and rights of others, particularly those younger and more vulnerable than themselves. That, surely, is a position most Conservatives should support. This must be supplemented with a staunch defence of free speech so that the issues can be openly discussed, by those with widely differing views, without the intimidation and aggressive bullying of the anti-family, anti-women extremists.

We should approach the debate around trans rights with rationality, proportion and compassion.

Rationality because facts matter, and the value of a particular view is not determined by the strength by which it is held but by reference to science and empiricism. Proportion because we cannot let the noise of an angry minority mask the fact that we are talking about a very small number of people in the population whose problems need to be addressed but who have no right to enforce views on the majority with which the majority disagrees or disapproves.

And compassion because behind all the political noise, bullying and intimidation, there are genuine individuals in pain and distress who deserve our sympathy and support.

For me, the most worrying element in the entire trans rights debate is the safety and protection of children. A recent report from the think tank Policy Exchange exposed a neglect of safeguarding at the expense of gender identity. It found that only 28 per cent of schools are reliably informing parents as soon as a child discloses feelings of gender distress and at least 19 per cent of schools are not maintaining single sex toilets.

The report also shows that 72 per cent of schools are teaching that people have a gender identity that may be different from their biological sex and 25 per cent are teaching that some people or children “may be born in the wrong body.”

Clearly, teaching unions and other representative groups should give a lot more thought to the difficult, and personally painful, tasks being faced by many teachers and less weight to the pressures coming from activists.

The medical profession should take note, too. The willingness of many clinicians to rush to agreement for surgical and hormonal treatments may reap a wild whirlwind in the future. There is a real danger that ill-thought through surgical interventions, such as double mastectomy or orchidectomy (castration) or complex hormonal treatments (that may be irreversible), will lead to increased human suffering in the long-term.

We must also protect our right to free speech. The way in which extremists in the trans movement have sought to close down debate, including on safe spaces for women, is nothing less than an attempt at brutal censorship, worthy of the most repressive regimes.

That is why all of us, whatever our views on the subject of trans rights itself, must unite in making it abundantly clear that everyone, celebrity or not, is absolutely entitled to their views and to express them freely in a free society without fear of violence or intimidation.

Proportionate, rational and compassionate debate should be our watchwords alongside a resolute defence of young people and freedom of speech. There is too much at stake to stay silent.

-------------------

Dr Liam Fox is a former Defence and International Trade Secretary

[source]

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inkykeiji · 1 year ago

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you dont have to reply to this if this is too personal a question! but would you consider your childhood + upbringing more toxic than others? my dad also has addictions along with a mental health diagnoses and its hard to talk about it to people, even my friends, who think addiction is like the show Euphoria (this show on hbo) but like some parts of youre writing is like a mirror image of situations ive been in with my family! it just feels real reading your stuff in an amazing way

tw: trauma + clari overshares!

absolutely, 100%. my father was and still is extremely abusive on top of all of his other issues, and my mother also has a severe mental illness. my house was constant turmoil and i used to cry when the school day would end because i didn’t want to go home. it was extremely unstable and i grew up walking on eggshells trying not to trigger one or both of my parents, as well as acted as an emotional punching bag often. i had to do things and witness things no child should ever have to go through, and i cannot express to you how utterly alone i felt, growing up in a small town where it seemed as though everyone else had these wonderful home lives and loving parents and just an overall great childhood. none of my friends understood anything and for a long time, when i was very young, i couldn’t figure out why everything was so much worse at my house than it was for anyone else around me.

so i totally and completely understand where you’re coming from. it’s really rough and it feels incredibly isolating. even now, i don’t have any in real life friends who can understand even in the slightest what i had to go through as a child, and while they’re fantastic listeners and so sweet and so sympathetic, they cannot and will never get it (and i’m glad about that obv! i’d never wish what i went through as a kid on anyone). please know that you are not at all alone in feeling like no one else can truly understand.

i’m so happy and so grateful that i have this little community where i can share some of my work and provide comfort or catharsis or whatever they need etc for people like me, whether they experienced trauma as children or as adults or both. that’s so so special to me and it genuinely means the whole world to me <3 it makes me feel less alone and it brings me a ton of comfort!! so thank you for sharing this with me!!! i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through similar experiences :(( we did and do deserve so so so much better.

i am sending you bunches and bunches of love anon!!! <333 please take good care of yourself <3

#yeah it sucked so bad #also omg do you ever like #get triggered or overly upset when people are all ‘oh i wish i could go back to my childhood’ or reminisce about it?????#i hate feeling so fucking bitter about it because again i would never wish it upon anyone #but i guess i just mourn and weep for the little girl i was #i’m upset she didn’t get the happy childhood she deserved #i’m upset she was taken advantage of #i’m upset she suffered *so much*#my therapist says it’s good to mourn the childhood i never had so #i try to do that hahaha #definitely think it contributes at least a lil to my uhhhh childlike tendencies #not that anyone needs childhood trauma to justify that of course #people of all ages are allowed to enjoy cute stuff like stuffies etc and anyone who tells you otherwise is an asshole #buT ANYWAY #i’m rambling now hehe #the point is: you are not alone #i know how tough it is and how incredibly difficult it feels #and i’m sorry you’re feeling so isolated #but please just know you are not alone #i am giving u a biiiig hug!!!!#please enjoy ur night bb n drink some water!! stay safe!!!#inky.bb #clari gets mail #clari overshares

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theestervashti · 4 months ago

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"The Extortion." From Esther 1: 19-20.

The Esther Torah says there must be a way for individual persons to attain to all that is promised them by rule of law. We are under the supreme delusion this means there are no longer any ways for man to be as happy as he can be and this is ridiculous. Real, legal happiness called Shabbos by the Jewish sages can only take place if it does not harm the interests of others. Shabbos is therefore the Royal Decree. Thou shalt be happy, thou shalt not break the Law or the laws by doing so.

The reason the story of Esther opens with a man notorious to history, called Xerxes, "a prohibition against heresy" is to incite an end to religious practices that put a stop to man's easy natural sources of happiness. The only mention of happiness in the Torah and Tanakh are found here. King David, a huge gay, ruffian, nudist, and interloper who seduced the king's son was the only man in history said to understand happiness:

1 Chronicles 29:9:

King David also was extremely happy. ... Then the people rejoiced because they had given voluntarily, since with a devoted heart they had freely given to the LORD ...

also

1 Kings 4: 20:

The people of Judah and Israel were as numerous as the sand on the seashore; they ate, they drank and they were happy.

The next frame speaks also to another level: Self-government. Self-government begins inside the self but it is a product of public government external to the self. The stifling of the urge to govern oneself in a legally acceptable manner is a crime for which man will not repent.

In ancient times, his need to oppress others was so stubborn, David and Solomon alike worshipped a holy horror terror at times, the goddess Ishtar in order to cement the power of the law to free the people from ignorance and oppression.

Notice there are no laws or decrees in the Torah that explicitly state women must respect their husbands or husbands must respect their wives. Children are told to respect their parents, but respect for one's partners is but implied. A royal household of any composition will not survive long enough to pay attention to the homesteads of the persons it is responsible for governing if this is not explicitly stated.

This might be the reason Queen Vashti and the Noble Women abstained from a discussion between the king and his prince whore concubines from all around the world; surely that was set for a stage for fornication and adultery, which cause scandal and upheaval in governments of all kinds.

Royal couples are given every advantage. There is no reason one can't find a handsome chap or lady to hook on one's arm and do more than just pretend to fall in love. The reality of this fantasy, the epic love story all the little gay boys and straight girls fantasize about life long has the potential to fruitfully order the world from great to small as the Torah below states:

19 “Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she.

20 Then when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest.

An edict is an emergency declaration that is designed to save lives. That monkey gorilla in Oklahoma who wants the Bible to be taught in public schools is a good example of someone that does not understand the meaning of an edict.

A public school, however, can register the importance of human equity even in very tiny little kids as a result of firm understanding of the Torah, this would be a legally appropriate approach to teaching young human beings to coexist without compromising each other's growth or independence.

Growth from youth until expiration at old age is called "a vast realm" by the Esther Torah. The realm will only devolve into conflict if the laws of the and, signified by women personalities are not tempered by the compassionate heroics of the men. One might think this is done the opposite, but this is how the Hebrew language works. One cannot make stern strict religious laws without considering whether or not mankind is actually better off or not.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 19: The laws of magic and science, "Persia and Media" state Vashti and Xerxes cannot renew their relationship. The verse says "let this be written" meaning let it be memorized then engaged. The Number is 9530, טהגאֶפֶס‎ ‎, "climb up."

The line of succession is an internal exercise in addition to one that is external. From Adam to Moses, from Moses to Joshua, from Joshua to Jesus and then some we know mankind will not settle unless it does more than sing hymns and pray. These elements in the Torah, Tanakh, and Gospels each have an ingot of the Glory of God hidden within them.

The line of succession up to the very steps of the King of Emperor must be manned or womaned by persons of superior intellectual skills, noble characteristics and the ability to make mistakes but not be wicked. Laws are not enough. Follow through by persons who are not corrupt is a must if our world systems of government are to save us all from the schmucks.

v. 20: From the least to the greatest. The current king or queen must be less of a man than the one coming up. This is a tough cock to swallow, but that is how the Torah works.

As stated above, also in the Bhagavad Gita, the strategic partner of the Torah, it is said, "as public officials perform in office, so will the people follow." True love must not be a myth. This is an abomination.

From BG 3:

"Those who restrain the external organs of action, while continuing to dwell on sense objects in the mind, certainly delude themselves and are to be called hypocrites.

But those who control their knowledge senses with the mind, and engage the working senses in working without attachment, are certainly superior.

Those who do not accept their responsibility in the cycle of sacrifice are sinful. They live only for the delight of their senses; indeed their lives are in vain.

But those who rejoice in the self, who are illumined and fully satisfied in the self, for them, there is no duty.

Such self-realized souls have nothing to gain or lose either in discharging or renouncing their duties. Nor do they need to depend on other living beings to fulfill their self-interest.

You should also perform your duties to set an example for the good of the world. Whatever actions great persons perform, common people follow. Whatever standards they set, all the world pursues."

The Number is 8089, חאֶפֶסחט‎‎, "extorted."

We cannot extort people into a state of happiness that is ridiculous. Adam and Eve could not be exorted into obeying God they were disobedient and were going to screw around anyway. The entirety of the Torah explains how they were to regain God's favor and it included volunteering to follow the edicts within the Torah, the most important of which is to help your partner(s) achieve Shabbos.

The Esther Torah says respect for the Shabbos in this manner will affect the happiness of all mankind if it is performed top down. When the houses of government are in disarray, the world gets damned, just as Krishna and the goddess both have said.

Now we must do the opposite, save the world by rebuilding the house, and fast, like gods and goddesses of lightning, like good gods of justice.

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the-life-of-lady-p · 1 year ago

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Hello Friend,

I have spent the past week trying to sort out what part of my life to start with here. The only way that makes sense is to just start at the very beginning. So here we go.

I was born in March 1998 in a small town. As far back as I can remember in my life my parents' marriage was never a happy one. My mother always said I was the planned child, but I question what her concept of “planning a child” is, seeing as how My mother wanted a baby and my father wanted a new truck. What I can remember from before they separated is their fighting. Watching my fathers anger boil over while screaming at my mother through the house while he ripped his shirt off. My siblings would take me into a bedroom and play with me when these outbursts would happen.

The first house I can recall living in was just a few doors down from my Meme and Papaw. We always spent so much time at their house with them. Playing in the backyard on the swing set, playing with the dogs, filling in our coloring wall in the hallway, playing in the leaf piles in the fall out in the yard. I remember going to the gas station for treats and sitting in my papaw’s lap eating endless amounts of Jolly Ranchers from his hidden stash. This was always the safest place. Wherever Meme and Papaw are is always a safe place.

The house we lived in was paid for by my grandparents. It was cleaned by my grandmother most of the time. The food in our kitchen was bought by my grandparents. The clothes on our backs, also bought by my grandparents. The electricity and water paid for by my grandparents.

Around the time I was 3 my Papaw passed away. He became very very sick for a long time. I remember trying to take care of him as a toddler. Bringing him a bucket when he got sick to his stomach, going to get INSANE amounts of banana splits from Sonic, trying to help my grandma change his feeding tube. (Apparently a toddler with a giant Q-Tip is horrifying 🤷🏻‍♀️). I remember his funeral. I wore a blue Jean dress with a blue shirt underneath it. I remember walking into the funeral home for his visitation. I remember my grandmother's heart break, a piece of her heart broke off when she lost Papaw. I truly cannot imagine that time for her, being married now and putting myself in her shoes is unfathomably painful. The last time I saw my Papaw he laid still on a table, hands crossed and eyes closed. Someone picked me up so I could see him and give him one last kiss on his cheek.

A lot of people would say that a child so young wouldn’t remember that time of their life. When that child is in the early stages of developing PTSD that theory does not apply. My Papaw’s death was the first intense loss that I experienced as a human. It changed everything in our lives and our family. My tv time with Papaw and the endless jolly ranchers in his chair turned into cookie dough and nap times in that recliner with my Meme. Every memory I can conjure up of him I hold onto as tightly as possible.

I often think of what life would have been like had my Papaw gained his health back. I believe it would be a completely opposite life if he were here today.

Around the time of his passing or shortly after is when my parents separated finally. They began the back and forth of seeking revenge on each other, hurting each other, and hurting their children in the process.

#tumblrpost #tumblrtextpost #mental health #actually mentally ill #bad parents #childhood trauma #healing #self healing #dark souls #therapy #mentalheathawareness #mental heath issues #child of divorce #divorced parents

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loopy-froots · 3 years ago

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Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

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