#the way they all immediately square up is so damn funny

[marinecanary]

The entire confrontatation with krispycreme girlycollar was amazing but this part specifically broke me

[silknspice]

hockey!vi and basketball!caitlyn decide it's time to stop fighting over you. they'll just have to share!

headcanons, arguing, smut/slutty material (18+ mdni), dom!cait & vi, gp!vi, cheerleader!reader (hardly mentioned), vi & cait r horny and reader's hard-to-get-but-also-horny. wc. 2k

vi's a big, bulky, 'gentleman' of a player. girls come and go from her poster-covered dorm room, and it's fine, because she has bigger things to worry about, until she meets you. the post-game crowd is a chaotic swarm of students, and still, she spots you with ease. you're with a friend that she somewhat recognizes, but the athlete swears on her life she's never seen you. she would've remembered a pretty ass face like that. the two of you are making conversation with one of her teammates, and almost immediately the pinkette's jogging up to the cluster of you and slinging an arm over the other player.

she's decorated with a big fat grin like always, cooing a sexy "hey there," that has her teammate rolling her eyes into the back of her head, but not the way vi intended. you're introduced, a sweet smile gracing your lips that vi wants buried between the flesh of her thighs, lips that she wants gasping for life as she ravishes you, lips that she swears just made her cock twitch.

"you gonna be looking for me at the after party?" she cocks her head in fake innocence. what an asshole. "maybe if you score some more next time," you dismiss her with a tucked away grin, politely biding her teammate and spinning off out of the dumbfounded butch's sight. her teammate sharply inhales, patting the girl who looks like she's just seen a ghost. "tough luck, vi," the athlete starts, "wouldn't have worked anyway, i heard she's messing with kiramman."

caitlyn won the race to your attention. it's one of the many things she adores holding over vi's head when they have their daily bicker-fests over anything and everything related to you. she’d always believed in finders keepers.

the bustling, alcohol scented, dim atmosphere encasing her is completely forgotten as her gaze lands on you, a red solo cup in hand as you make conversation with who she assumes to be your teammates. she squares her shoulders, standing a little taller as her fellow athletes notice the look she's giving you. a predator ready to pounce. little whistles of encouragement fall from their lips as she strides on her mission to you.

the navy haired beauty knows she's hot, knows damn well anyone would slide their way under her as soon as the words of approval coat her tongue, and knows that you'll be one of her most– no, the most rewarding catch she's had. except, her trap seemed to falter.

"you were great today," she flashes a soft smile, attempting to make sure the way she checks you out is subtle, less cocky and more in awe. "watched when i could, i see why they put you in front." "oh yeah?" you hum out, sipping from your cup. it's basic, not giving much for caitlyn to work with, but the glint in your eyes is giving the athlete all too much hope. "yeah," she sounds a little breathless. her eyelids drop and soften to mimick the arousal she's feeling from just eyeing your fuckable face. "must be real flexible to do all that. think you could show me some more?" her prim and enchanting accent is completely contradicting the nasty insinuations falling from her mouth. that has you gently shaking your head and scoffing– albeit, with a smile, caitlyn notes. "you're funny, cait." and that's all you leave her with. that, and the image of you gently swaying your hips while walking off. the image that she'll be replaying in her head as she tends to her needs later that night. it makes sense to her a few days later during practice. when she and her teammates are lazily walking off of the court, one of them explains your oh so suspicious behavior. "heard she's interested in vi. sorry hotshot, looks like you've met your match."

from then on, the two are completely at each other's throats. it starts off small when they bump into each other at the campus coffee shop. they're patiently waiting for their drinks. caitlyn's arms are crossed as always with her hair in a messy pony, and vi's hands keep refuge in her pockets while her shoulders slightly slouch in a relaxed manner. they're completely ignoring the other's presence, until vi physically has to speak up.

"so... ___" she says your name like a child praying to their goddess. caitlyn hums in response. "i hate to be the one to tell you, but she's completely out of your league." "well i don't know what she'd see in a narcissistic mongoose like you," vi quips. cait scoffs. "and i'm not sure why she'd ever give someone as run through as you the time of day... wait, mongoose?"

soon, it's not one that's pursuing you at a time, it's both. at parties, after games, walking to class, even in the library, the two girls are drawn to you like moths to light. and sure, they're still very interested in fucking you senseless if you let them. and sure, they don't know you all too well yet, but something about you is so captivating. whether you'll give them the time of day or not, they crave being in your presence. (the rivalry is making things a little more fun than expected, too.)

you're interested, extremely interested. but these girls are used to getting everything they want in the blink of an eye. you know your worth, so if they want to take you, and not just your ability to walk, they're going to have to work for it. in record time, the university of piltover's finest were wrapped around your dainty finger. so, slowly, you let them into your life.

at first, it's smaller things. in the morning, caitlyn worms her way into the plush seat next to you at your library table. she sets down your coffee order to a T, saying she "had some extra time" (which isn't a lie, she woke up an hour earlier than she already does to make sure her timing was perfect), and she "didn't know what you'd like", so she 'guessed' (that part was a lie, because she fell asleep thirty minutes later than usual stalking your instagram highlights and zooming into the label of your most recent drink). in conclusion, the star player was losing sleep over you, and she didn't know how to feel about that.

then, like switching shifts, vi swoops into the library and whisks you away, but not before making a remark that has the navy-haired girl's brows furrowing.

"i'll take it from here, cupcake. angel and i have a date." the pinkette lifts your backpack from the ground and slings it over her shoulder before you can utter a word. "you're walking me to class, violet. 'ts not a date..." you dismiss the claim, looking caitlyn in the eyes as you bring the coffee to your lips and take a swig. "..yet," you induce some hope and fear into the respective girls. as you coo your mind-twirling sing-song "bye cait," and walk away, vi can't help but snake a hand around your waist before throwing a terribly taunting wink to the bluenette over her shoulder.

eventually, after more interrupted touches and argument after argument, the girls attempt to seduce you on their own turf. after a particularly hard but victorious game, cait jogs up to you. the flyaways of her ponytail are the sexiest amount of messy and the sweat dripping down the side of her neck and rounding towards her adams apple has you gulping. but of course, you hide it. you admit, she's impressed you, and the seemingly suave girl fights the beaming smile she feels sneaking its way onto her face. instead, she thanks you for cheering for her and gently grazes her hand over the hem of your blue and white skirt.

"is this my reward for playing so well?" she grins. "this is my uniform, hotshot."

after vi's hockey game that she insisted you come to, she sneaks up on you after exiting the locker room, capturing your frame from behind with sculpted arms. the two of you stiffle a few laughs before she turns you around, pulling your torso closer to hers.

"how'd I do?" she asks, the neediness of approval hidden somewhere in her tone.

"i guess you were good," you joke, making vi gently pinch at your side. "yeah?" she teases, "how good?" "not good enough, at least I score." caitlyn buts in from 'out of nowhere!' (vi claims), momentarily stunning whatever tension you and the pinkette were building. "i scored three times," the powder-blue eyed girl slightly pouts, sending you into a fit of laughter.

it's vi who steals a kiss from you first. you finally give in after realizing maybe she wants something a little more than sex. it's hungry, slight teeth, lots of tongue, and sloppy hums of pleasure. wandering hands travel to the back of your head, through your hair, down to the curve of your waist, everywhere she can claim you.

caitlyn, when she finds out a day later, is pissed. so when she finally gets her hands on you, she's rougher than she planned on being when she ran this scenario through her head hundreds of times before. she's pushing you against a wall, knee slotted between your legs, and a lanky hand trails up to grip your chin. it's rough, hypnotizing, and you have to stop her before she makes an absolute mess of you.

it's no surprise when the girls text you to meet up a few days later. what is a surprise is the fact that they're together. they send you a selfie from vi's phone in your shared group chat. vi looks delicious in her stupid backwards baseball cap and caitlyn's glasses only enhance that scarily sexy cold look she owns. the picture's lazy, a lower angle of the two looking at the camera with soft grins, but it has your heartbeat racing, and something else pulsing their names.

ice queen: angel come 2 cait's ice queen: we miss you <3 angel: and if I don't? hotshot: you'll regret it. angel: is that a threat? hotshot: jesus, get over here.

caitlyn and vi take turns using you for the rest of the night. they wait for you to make the first move, of course, they have manners. once you're all hot and bothered you hear the clank of their belts coming undone and flashes of clothes being stripped off fill your vision.

cait only spends so long teasing your swollen clit before she's two fingers and three knuckles deep inside of you, teasing your clouded brain about adding a third. the wet sounds your body's making are getting vi the hardest she's been in her life, and she swears she could cum just from the way your glossy eyes look up at her while cait ravishes you. "look at that- i'll be the one to make her cum first." cait taunts, and as soon as you've reached your high the pinkette's stripping you away from her and flipping you onto your stomach.

vi's gentler than caitlyn at first, but her passion and desires enchant her mind and soon she's stuffing your needy hole with her length, face down ass up, while pushing your head into the pillow that captures your lovely noises.

it's not long before caitlyn's sitting in front of you with her legs spread wide, guiding your tongue right where it belongs.

you all sleep in the same bed that night. you in the middle, of course, and your girls clinging to you lovingly. the three of you talk about everything and nothing at the same time, and the silly conversations lull you into a deep sleep.

some day soon, you'll have to talk about whatever this is. for right now, vi and caitlyn relish in the fact that they have you. brain, heart, body and all.

sharing isn't all that bad.

silknspice

[shalomniscient]

convenience, part 1 || tsukishiro yanagi x reader [NSFT][MDNI]

Your heat, rather inconveniently, comes a whole two days early in the middle of your shift at your job. Your boss drops you off at a heat clinic, and you manage to get paired with who you think might just be the most perfect alpha in all of New Eridu.

cw. omegaverse, alpha yanagi, omega reader, all the usual omv stuff like knotting & breeding

notes. wrote this in a haze of horny delirium for tsukishiro yanagi. yes there will be a part 2 at some point because i will most certainly slip and slide back into horny delirium for tsukishiro yanagi one of these days

Heat clinic.

Such a nice, polite word for what’s essentially a fuck-centre.

Yes, you know in reality it’s just another facet of reproductive healthcare services, and there’s nothing really intimate about it—if the dozens of screenings, tests, and legal documents were anything to go by—but the concept itself is still a little funny. The idea that something so inherently primal could just be dressed up in some clinical wording and a facade with the aesthetic of a dentist’s office and suddenly be completely socially acceptable.

A foggy part of your brain is trying to do the same right now and draft up some polite excuse as to why you had to leave work early today, but with the way Yanagi’s cock is literally rearranging your insides, it’s an effort in futility.

You almost melt against the sheets with another low, drawn out moan feeling her all the way in your damn stomach. You barely even remember how you got here; your heat, the damn unpredictable thing it is, had hit early while you were still on your shift. Staying in the store would’ve been a terrible idea, what with it almost being rush hour, and so your poor boss—a beta man, thankfully—had sped you on over to the nearest heat clinic in Lumina Square. And you had writhed and squirmed on the bed that had too many too sterile pillows for God knows how long until they finally managed to send an alpha in to help you. She’d smelled of fresh laundry and warm bread and by that point there really wasn’t much else you wanted to think about besides getting her scent all over you immediately.

“Yanagi,” you whine, wiggling your hips petulantly at her slow, controlled pace. It’s strange, how well her name fits on her tongue despite you only learning it a few—minutes? hours? you don’t even know, honestly—ago. The alpha behind you croons low in her throat, leaning down to brush the bare, sweat-damp skin of your shoulder with her nose. But instead of that skin-to-skin you expect, you get smooth leather instead, and you remember that this is a damn heat clinic, and all heat clinic alphas have to wear a Mask.

It’s a safety precaution, and a sensible one at that; having an omega be accidentally marked during what should just be a transactional encounter would be horrifying for both the alpha and omega, and a world of legal pain for the clinic. Hence the invention of the Mask—a generally non-invasive little leather contraption that covers the alpha’s mouth completely, with well placed openings to still allow for easy breathing and speech. You’re normally more grateful for its existence in keeping omegas such as yourself safe, but right now it may as well have been invented by the devil.

“Breathe,” Yanagi reminds you, her voice ever so soft in a way you’ve never heard an alpha be before. Your previous heat partners, while still somewhat gentle—you’d specified as such in your documentation—still tended to have that typical alpha-ness to them. Demanding and commanding, eager to take and wring as many orgasms from you as they can manage. Which is, of course, exactly what you need, deep in the throes of heat as you are, but it leaves you with a rather heavy mental weight after that takes a while to lift. But Yanagi is calm, measured, and careful, even as she sinks balls deep into you, knot bumping the stubborn ring of your entrance. It makes your basest omega instinct preen with satisfaction at being so tenderly cared for, that you find yourself thinking, quite stupidly, that you could get used to this—to Yanagi.

She coaxes you out of that little reverie with the brush of her thumb against your clit. You jolt, startled but pleased, rocking forward slightly onto the sheets ruined with your slick. Yanagi follows with a roll of her hips, bumping the head of her wonderful cock against that spongy collection of nerves and drawing another warbling cry of her name from your lips. She moves with such patient elegance and finesse that you’d think she wasn’t in rut and had to find refuge in the nearest heat clinic like you. Or, rut clinic, in her case. This particular branch in Lumina Square did both, and what a blessing that turned out to be.

“Yanagi, faster,” you urge, whiny and out of your mind with lust, looking over your shoulder at her. Soft pink eyes meet your own, and her pupils blow just a little wider. You hear her breathe in deep through her mouth, the sound amplified by the Mask, and a primal giddiness runs down your spine. You know what she’s doing; inhaling your scent and letting it coat the inside of her mouth, her throat, and letting it fan the flames of her own lust. She relents with the quietest growl you’ve heard from an alpha, drawing her hands back to rest them on your hips, palms flat against your skin.

And then she’s snapping her hips forward, fucking you, and you’re completely and utterly gone. Your head drops, cheek against the mattress as your arms give out under you, and you melt against the sheets into a delicate arch that has Yanagi twitching inside you. Your brain drips out of your pussy around her cock, not a damn thought in your mind beyond the steady, rhythmic drives of her railing you senseless. You can feel her knot swelling, bumping against the lips of your cunt and it only makes you squeeze tighter around her.

Yanagi pants behind you, nails digging more into the meat of your hips. The scent of her floods your senses, and she almost smells like home were it not for the underlying, extremely faint but still somewhat noticeable scent of ozone and iron. She’s testing the waters with her knot, seeing how much you’re ready to give by pushing it forward ever so slightly then drawing back. It makes your fingers curl in the sheets, more needy whines falling from your lips as you beg her to stuff you full. Yanagi shudders at that, leaning down to—or attempting to—nose the dip of your spine between your shoulder blades.

“I’m going to knot you,” she promises gently, and you mewl in anticipation. “Be sweet for me, okay? Breathe, and relax. You’re doing so well, good girl.”

Holy fuck.

“Likes to be praised” was not an option even given to you on the forms, but somehow, either by luck or intuition, Yanagi had struck absolute gold. You nearly cum then and there at the praise, moaning unashamedly as your cunt clenches like a vise around her cock. Yanagi makes a small, choked noise in the back of her throat, clawing at your hips to steady herself again. It takes her a moment and several calming breaths before she can resume her slow press into you and you bite the sheets to make up for the fact you can’t sink your teeth into her shoulder instead.

Yanagi is already big, deliciously so, but her knot is certainly something else. You’re suddenly grateful for the generous amount of lube that was provided in the room and that Yanagi had the sense to use before she stuffed you full of her cock. It makes the stretch of her controlled slide into you far more bearable—not that you would’ve given up even if it wasn’t. Heat crazed as you are, you’re sure you’d find a way. Thankfully, Yanagi’s foresight made such extremes unnecessary, and she nuzzles soothingly at your neck, by your scent gland as she inches deeper and deeper, stretching you more and more until her knot slips fully inside you with a wet pop.

Your eyes roll back into your head and you cum with a loud cry, inner walls spasming and fluttering around her thick length. You almost feel like you might pass out, utterly light headed, cumming not in spite of the stretch but because of it. Fuck, Yanagi might just have ruined you for any other alpha. You feel your slick spray out and coat your thighs despite the knot buried inside you, and you make a noise between a moan and a sob as your orgasm rips through you viciously. Yanagi rocks and grunts behind you, riding that knife’s edge of stimulation until she’s tipping off of it herself, releasing your hips in favor of bracing herself over you, palms bracketing your head as she spills into you with a stifled, drawn out groan. You feel her throb inside you, pulsing with each jet of cum she deposits into your eager cunt. You can’t help but preen at the sensation of being filled so thoroughly, which Yanagi returns with a low, soothing croon.

She makes sure to lie on her side to recover, deceptively strong yet slim arms holding you close. It’s a welcome reprieve from the many alphas who would simply flop on top of you and crush you into the mattress, and you make a pleased noise, your brain buzzing with happy, satiated chemicals. Her cosy scent just makes you relax further, sweet honey on fresh toast, like home, and you find your eyelids drooping. Yanagi notices, and a lilting, melodic laugh resonates through the Mask.

“Rest,” she says gently, a hand caressing your side, “you did well.”

You have some time to kill anyway, knotted together as you both are. So you take her suggestion, and drift off into a satisfied slumber. What happens next is for your heat-free brain to deal with, but you’re certain of at least one thing: you’re not spending your next heat with anyone other than her.

When you wake, you wake woefully bereft.

Your thighs are parted, and you hiss when something wet and cold touches your skin. You blink open your eyes blearily, and find Yanagi looking down at you from where she kneels by your side, running a washcloth along your inner thigh. Her Mask is off, set on the bedside table now that both of you are somewhat stable enough to head back home and weather the rest of your respective heat and ruts privately. Her lips are curved into a small, glossy smile, and a pair of red-rimmed glasses rest delicately on the bridge of her nose.

“Did you rest well?” she asks, smoothing the washcloth down your other thigh. “I hope you don’t mind that I took some initiative. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or sticky when waking up.”

It takes you a while to find your voice, but when you do find it, it’s utterly wrecked. Yanagi flushes slightly at the sound when you speak, looking ridiculously cute for someone who just gave you the most intense orgasm of your life.

“Yes to the first, no to the second,” you answer, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. “I appreciate it. Thank you.”

Yanagi’s smile broadens, and she shakes her head lightly. “I should be thanking you—my rut hit early out of nowhere, and if you weren’t willing…”

“I could say the same for you,” you rasp wryly, watching as she diligently cleans you. She takes care not to give too much stimulation to your sensitive sex, but makes sure to clean up the remaining drops of her cum that still leak from you. “I guess we both got lucky.”

“Quite,” Yanagi agrees, and you see her throat bob as she tries not to focus on the way her seed drips out of your cunt. “In any case, you were… very helpful. Thank you.”

You manage a dry chuckle at that. What a polite alpha. “You weren’t too bad yourself.”

The flush on her cheeks deepens ever so slightly, and she ducks her gaze away from yours, almost bashful. She sets the cloth down on a disposal bin on the bedside table, then turns to grab something further down the bed. A surprised noise leaves your lips when you see what it is: your clothing, all neatly folded. And if your nose is telling you the truth—

“I… took the liberty to scent your shirt,” she admits, still not meeting your eyes. “Just to tide you over until you make it home. It should deter any other alphas from trying anything.”

You swallow, throat suddenly dry. You wonder if you’re dreaming—do alphas this nice really exist? You’ve met your fair share of decent alphas, but they all have that typical alpha arrogance about them. If she hadn’t just knotted you, you might have thought she was an omega with how tender she’s being, and you find yourself thinking for the second time today how you could get so used to this.

“Thank you,” you say eventually. Yanagi nods, relieved, then rises from the bed. She’s already clothed; although, she didn’t take much of her clothes off while fucking you in the first place, just popping a few buttons of her shirt and hiking her skirt up enough to get it out of the way after ditching her corset. She fixes the tassels of her tie, ready to head out the door, and the words blurt out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Do you want to do this again?”

Your jaw clicks shut as soon as Yanagi stills, turning to face you with a puzzled look on her face. She blinks, brows furrowing as she considers your words. “This… again?”

“There’s an option for, uh— scheduled sessions between an alpha and an omega, if they choose,” you explain, trying not to sound as nervous as you feel. “It saves on hoping for another presentation to be available when your heat or rut rolls around.”

“I’ve heard of that,” Yanagi hums, eyes drifting to the side as she takes a moment to consider.

“It’d be convenient,” you continue, unable to help yourself from pressing a little more. If you sound desperate, you can’t be bothered to be ashamed. You’d rather lose your dignity than this damn perfect alpha before you. “And you’re someone who likes convenience and routine, right?”

Yanagi raises a brow. “How did you figure that?”

“Well,” you shrug, attempting nonchalance, “I suppose it was a lucky guess. How did you know I liked being praised?”

Yanagi turns beet red at that, a palm shooting up to cover half her face. Even her ears are a delicate blush colour. “It just… felt right,” she mumbles, her home-like scent thick with embarrassment. You chuckle softly at that.

“See? I think this could be mutually beneficial, Yanagi. What do you say?”

The time it takes her to think feels like it stretches on forever. You can almost see the gears on her head turning, analysing, as if weighing the costs and benefits over every last detail of your proposal. Those pink eyes gleam with an intensity you can’t help but feel drawn to in a way you’ve never felt before with any alpha. Eventually, she turns back to you with a small, polite smile.

“We could give it a shot.”

You grin, feeling relief flood your system so strongly you nearly fall back onto the bed. “Sounds great. I’ll see you next month, then?”

“Next month,” Yanagi returns, and then she slips out the door with the click of heels on cold tile. You flop back onto the pillows when the door closes, unable to stifle a giddy, girlish laugh from spilling from your lips.

God, for once in your life, you can’t wait for your next heat.

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Helping Friends - Yuji

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, smut, fluff, yuji is the cutest thing ugh

A/n: This was fun! Day 7: Stuck in wall. But I'm tired so I will be taking a break! Kinktober is hard phew! Excuse the horrible title its 11pm and I'm seeing double asasdf

Word count: 1.4k

Read on ao3

“I need your help.”

“Hm?” Yuji blinked. “Sure thing. What for?”

“Just … Just come over.”

“But ―”

“You’ll see when you get here,” You said through gritted teeth, and of course you were frustrated, but it almost seemed like you were struggling against something. 

“Okay, be over in a sec!”

You hung up. Yuji stared at the black square of his screen. Now, he was curious.

Yuji muffled a snicker.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not!”

“You are!” You wiggled your ass at him. “I can hear you! I’m stuck, I’m not deaf!”

Yuji sobered. It really wasn’t funny if you took a second to consider the repercussions of it all. “It’s lucky I have a key.”

You sighed. “D’you think you can get me out?”

Yuji saluted. “I’m on it!”

He maneuvered around you, careful to avoid your ass sticking out of the wall. He swallowed; of all the days to wear a skirt. He gripped your hips and pulled ―

“Ow, ow!” You wagged your legs. 

Yuji stopped immediately. “Sorry!”

You sighed. “God, I’m gonna be stuck here forever.”

“Don’t think like that!” Yuji said. “How’d this even happen?”

“Remember the hole in the wall I said I’d fix?” You said. “Well …”

Yuji brainstormed. “Maybe I need to loosen you up.”

“Well, obviously ―”

“No, I mean, with something …”

“I have some lube in the drawer of my nightstand?”

Yuji blushed, figured he better not ask, even though now his unhelpful images of you lubing up with your pretty pussy made his mouth water. 

“O ― Okay.”

He strode to your bedroom and fished into the drawer, finding the lube without issue. Kneeling on the floor of the wall, he spilled lube into a puddle in his palm before fixing it around the outline of your body. 

“Ugh,” You said. “This better work.”

He pulled, gently, using increasingly more powerful thrusts to exert you out of your self made hole. Still, you wouldn’t budge.

“Ah, damn, I can’t …” Yuji kept pulling, careful to not injure you, but continued to face resistance. “I’d end up taking this whole wall down.”

You whined. “What’s wrong now?”

Yuji reddened as he toyed with the elastic of your panties. “I think these need to come off,” he murmured.

He waited for your rage, for you to call him a pervert ― he’d deserve it anyway, he had to go and say it after all ― but instead you simply sighed.

“Do it.”

Yuji’s eyes widened. “What ―?”

“We have to get rid of as much friction as possible and I don’t wanna be stuck here forever!” You said. 

Yuji fought the urge to eye the way your panties hugged your cunt and failed. 

“But …”

“It’s okay, Yuji.”

With trembling hands, he hooked a finger under the elastic and pulled. They stuck on the fat of your thighs. Yuji bit into his cheek. Your cunt was right there. Perfect and plump and ― and did he detect a bit of wetness there, between the plush of your outer folds?

No, he was twilight-zoning. That’s all it was.

“What’s going back there?” Your voice took Yuji out of his reverie.

“N ― Nothing!” Yuji adjusted on his knees, desperate to avoid the raging erection making it hard to move much anywhere in any direction. “Okay, let’s try this again.”

Yuji hooked hands around your now-naked hips, tried a few jerky pulls. Your lower half budged if only by an inch.

“I think it’s working!”

“Good! Keep pulling!”

Yuji maneuvered behind you. Bad move. His gaze flickered to your perfect ass, and he could only imagine him in this position in a different context. His hips thrusting into you, your ass rippling with the power of his … Shit. Focus. Focus.

Yuji concentrated and tugged you toward one more time ―

Your lower half jerked, your ass colliding with his crotch.

“Ah!” 

Yuji drew in a sharp breath, kneeled over his hardon. “Sorry …” His voice was so weak.

“Is that … Is that you?”

Yuji froze. “Wha ― What do you mean?”

“I mean …” Your sock-covered foot brushed against his leg. “Is that you, that I feel?”

Yuji hung his head in shame. “Ye ― Yeah …” He tried for a laugh, but it came out as nervous as he was. “I’m really sorry, I just ―”

“Maybe …” You trailed, rubbing your thighs together. “ … we can make the most of this situation.”

Yuji braved a hand against your thigh, caressing the skin. “You mean …?”

“I think we should fuck while I’m like this,” You said. Yuji had tunnel vision for your pussy and it was almost like it was talking to him, egging him on. Daring him to … “I mean, my panties are already down, aren’t they? You’d just have to …”

Your voice waned, most likely because you could hear his zipper coming down.

“You’d really let me, (Y/n)?” Yuji said, already freeing his aching cock to stroke. “You’re okay with this after all?”

“Yeah.” You sounded so breathless.

Fuck.

Yuji aligned his cock with your sweet, puffy lips. His eyes fluttered closed; his head slid against and between your outer folds, lathering his head with your translucent juices. Already, you felt so good. 

“Mmm, Yuji …” His cock twitched to hear his voice on your tongue. “You feel good ― I bet you’re big.”

Yuji’s cheeks warmed as he eyed the way your folds rippled against his aching member. “I think so.”

You wagged your ass in his face. “Prove it.”

Fuuuck.

He slid into you with ease. His mind reeled as your walls hugged him, inch by inch.  He settled a hand on one of your ass cheeks. “Feel so good …” he breathed out. He fixed a hand at one of your slippery hips to bring himself inside fully, his pubic hairs brushing against the plump of your ass. 

“Ahhh …!” Your voice was heavenly. “Yuji ―!”

With one hand on your slippery hip and another on the crest of your crack, Yuji rocked into you. The wall hole wobbled and knocked in time with his thrusts. His breath lay trapped in his lungs at the tight hug of your cunt. 

“Yu ― Yuji …!” You stammered, voice choked by surprise as he quickened his pace. 

Yuji licked his lips. He hoped you were impressed with him. His eyes fell lidded as he slipped into a trance, single-minded and sidetracked by nothing but the feel of you around him. Yuji’s breath escaped at last in a gasp as you rocked back to fuck him, too. 

Yuji lurched forward, chest against your back as he sped up, hips spanking into your ass. His sloppy hand spurred forward, past the curve of your abdomen to fox out your clit.

“Mmmm!” You fucked onto him messily, but it was impossible for you to keep up with Yuji’s pace.

He bent down to kiss the little bit of exposed skin from your ridden-up tank top, unsure whether or not you even felt it, would even know he’d done it. What you would feel is his fingers flicking at your clit ― and he was rewarded with a louder moan coupled with your legs quivering underneath him, and it was better than any praise you could’ve given him.

“Fuck!” Yuji heard a tap on the other side that must’ve been you slapping a hand to the floor. “I’m ― I’m close!”

Yuji left an even softer kiss to your ass cheek and straightened up again to adjust his pace. He nearly doubled over again at the clench of your pussy and knew instinctively you weren’t the only one.

Yuji crashed hips into you as you cried out. He grunted, holding your trembling lower half steady as you came around him, a jolt of inspiration spurring him to press a thumb into your gaping asshole. 

“Yuji!” 

He whined, spilling into you at the sound of his name. You milked him while he mindlessly thumbed you, lost in what he’d always wanted to experience: being inside you.

He gave a few more thrusts, falling over you again from the frantic stimuli ―

The hole around the two of you gave. Yuji face-planted on your back as you yelped. In an instant, he shielded you, sure the rest of the wall would give in and bury the two of you. 

It didn’t.

Quiet.

“Well ― um …” Yuji slid out of you because it seemed the least he could do. “That worked!”

You faced the floor, your shoulders bouncing with mirth. “I can’t believe this.”

He joined you. The laughter didn’t stop as he helped you dress and shave the wall chippings clinging to your body. He was ready to offer you his jacket when you stopped him ―

“Yuji, I’m fine!” You assured him, stopping him. “Really!”

“Hmm.” He scanned you. “Okay.”

You giggled. “And thanks for coming ― stop,” You added as Yuji started laughing again. “Thanks for your help.”

Yuji grinned. “You can always count on me.”

[emandemms]

i just finished the iliad, so here's the last part of my "the iliad is a comedy too" list. this is a long one (say thank you book 23), i just couldn't help myself.

the following three parts are linked below!! i also might make a post compiling the whole list!

part one

part two

part three

- aeneas telling achilles to stop yapping on the battlefield when it was actually HIM who was in the middle of a good old homeric "this is my dad and this was his dad and his dad did this" speech.

- achilles damn near about to crash out when apollo kept protecting hector. this man tried to kill hector FOUR TIMES and apollo just yanked hector out of the way each time. achilles was like "oh, so apollo favors you? yeah, well, if any of the gods like me, next time i see you, i'm gonna FUCK YOU UP!!!"

- achilles beefing with a river.

- like dude, stop KILLING people in the water, you're clogging the river and that's just not cool. respect the environment, asshole.

- book 21 is really just "angry man yells at river before being swept away by the waters of divine fury".

- athena decking ares and aphrodite. she was really sick and tired of them at this point.

- posideon essentially calling apollo a little shit when apollo kept siding with the trojans.

- apollo sending achilles on a wild goose chase while disguised as a trojan. it's giving tom and jerry, i can't even lie.

- achilles beefing with apollo. just in general.

- this can also be extended to: apollo beefing with achilles. and we all know how that ends!!!

- hector being bamboozled by his own idea of trying to beg for mercy and understanding from achilles. he really was like "why the fuck am i trying to problem solve this, the guy wants me dead. ain't no way he's gonna listen to anything i say".

- a popular favorite that i think deserves a quick mention: hector and achilles running around troy three fucking times. tom and jerry part two????? except this is an alternate universe where tom catches jerry and it's not pretty.

- nestor giving antilochus advice on how to win the chariot race even though antilochus knows what he's doing.

- this is extra funny when antilochus turns around and cheats to get ahead of menelaus. an asshole move, but so incredibly real and i can't even say i blame him.

- apollo knocking diomedes' whip out of his hand during the race. out of spite.

- it's actually because diomedes had taken aeneas' horses in book 5 and diomedes was using them in the race, but still. petty and spiteful and i love it.

- athena immediately rushing to grab the whip to return it to diomedes. athena is playing favorites again and she's not even trying to hide it.

- lesser ajax and idomeneus bickering during the chariot race. SPECIFICALLY idomeneus telling lesser ajax "young man, you're real good at arguing and bitching, but man, where the fuck are your brains at?"

- the ONE TIME achilles is mentioned smiling is when antilochus is throwing a fit about not receiving his due prize and i think that's beautiful.

- achilles really saw his friend complaining and said "that's my bro how can i NOT give him exactly what he wants?"

- menelaus tearing into antilochus and shaming him for cheating during the race in front of everyone.

- mans really told antilochus to swear on posideon that he didn't cheat so of course antilochus is like "shit shit i can't make that oath because i did cheat and i am NOT getting on the shit list of any god".

- so antilochus is like "okay menelaus, my bad old man, i'm just so young and spry that i can't help myself sometimes".

- and then he just gives menelaus the mare that was the second place prize to avoid making an untrue oath while STILL managing to insist he won fair and square.

- smart guy.

- menelaus also being like "okay, i forgive you because you are usually pretty well behaved so let's just chalk this up to like, temporary insanity or something".

- AND THEN menelaus gives the mare BACK to antilochus.

- menelaus is a softie at heart and antilochus knew it and absolutely took advantage of it and WON. bro played the long game and it was so worth it. this whole sequence was so entertaining to me, can you tell?

- nestor, the absolute icon that he is, once again going off on one of his rants. everyone say "i heart nestor".

- the footrace between lesser ajax, odysseus, and antilochus.

- namely odysseus praying to athena to help him win the race, which she does, of course. she gives odysseus a little boost and she TRIPS lesser ajax, which causes him to fall face first into a pile of cow shit.

- it gets in his mouth and nose y'all, it's nasty as fuck.

- i also think it's funny that odysseus is the oldest of the three of them, and even without athena's help at the end he was right behind lesser ajax the entire time.

- of course i have to mention lesser ajax whining about the fact that athena dotes on odysseus like a mother.

- and odysseus not saying anything to argue because he knew lesser ajax wasn't really wrong about that.

- antilochus also saying that the gods have a habit of favoring old men.

- old man odysseus for the win!!!!!

- it also cracks me up at how obvious it is that achilles favors antilochus y'all, it's HILARIOUS.

- antilochus goes after the race and starts talking about how "odysseus is an old man, but boy, he's almost as fast as achilles!" and achilles is over here like "yeah, he totally is, you're so right. here, have some more gold for being my number one hype man".

[partycatty]

You're my favorite writer and I'm a Sucker for Johnny Cage x Himself from Mk11.... please?

okay, so lovingly, i don't feel comfortable directly writing johnny x himself... but i can do you one better?

johnny cage > two for one

the timelines collapse, leaving you in the face of new era and previous era johnny. you're not quite sure how you ended up in this situation, but their hungry stares are undeniable.

warnings: smut.. idk theyre frotting bro idk what else to say. ur rubbing their schmeats together. kissin tips. lockin cocks. diddlin dongs.

notes: THIS IS MK1 JOHNNY ("johnny") X MK11 YOUNGER JOHNNY ("cage") X READER!!! NO DILF HERE!!!

[ masterlist ]

a swirling tornado of sand interrupted your meeting with liu kang and his recruited earthrealmers, pulling into view several faces you had not met before. one of which being a man bearing a large chest tattoo of "JOHNNY," and you could only assume it was his name. as well as him came others you were later taught were counterparts to some of your companions, namely thunder god raiden, monk kung lao, and a mortal liu kang. a part of you was filled with dread for now knowing not one, but two johnnys.... johnnies? another part, though, was intrigued, if not horribly flustered.

as time went on, you had to spend more and more time around these newcomers as well as your people. your johnny was always clinging to you, or lingering near you but dear god this new johnny was like a lost puppy with a raging boner. his comments, flirtatious advances, and feather touches were driving you up a wall. he was testosterone humanized.

you couldn't deny that your johnny was dizzying in essence, from his charisma to the way his form hugs his clothes deliciously. but, dear lord, this new johnny was a hunk. he was huge in every way imaginable, and you tensed up when they were both in your presence. this all came to a head when you were attempting to work on your reports, but the alternate timeline johnny - the one in which you've started calling "cage" out of formality - couldn't keep his hands to himself. this particular instance, you were trying to inspect a map outstretched on the table, and cage was looming directly behind you, placing his hands on either side of you and effectively trapping you against the table. you tried so hard to ignore it, but his musk and faint cologne made your eyes gloss over with desire.

that is, until johnny strode over to the scene and ripped cage from your proximity, aiming an accusatory finger in his face.

"listen man," johnny was irritated, perhaps suspiciously more than normal. "lay off, yeah? she's trying to figure out how the hell we can send you back to whatever timeline you came from."

"don't you touch me," cage snarled in response, squaring up. he was only a couple inches taller than johnny, but his size was almost double. "i'm a star."

"and? so am i!" johnny shouts back with a groan. as the bickering picks up, you couldn't help but watch in amusement. but then, the insults become less funny when johnny grabs cage's purple sunglasses and stomps on them with a huff. cage frowns.

"ladies-" you interject, standing between the two brick walls of men. "you're both pretty." and so, the two men feel obligated to listen to you. you shoot a glance at johnny, silently scrutinizing his behavior. instead of just taking your scolding, johnny grabs you by your upper arm and drags you into a broom closet. god damn, they wore the same cologne. the closeness was nearly too much, combined with johnny's admittedly sexy scowl.

"why are you letting him manhandle you like that? you don't know him." johnny asks under his breath, towering over you as he holds your arms.

"what do you care?" you're almost offended at his tone, but then it all clicks. johnny's defensive of you, protective. hell, he's jealous... of himself. this realization makes a smile bloom on your face, and johnny immediately knows what you're beginning to understand.

who said you could only choose one of them?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

all it took on cage's end was one sultry stare, and he was sauntering toward the broom closet and locking it behind him. it was incredibly hard to think straight when both men's hands were groping and grasping at your body. in any other universe, you'd be dazed and confused from seeing double, but in this universe you're heated and dizzy from the two hard-ons rubbing into your body. one clothed cock was fitted and gently rutting into your hand, being johnny's. his needy groans and pants were swallowed by your own mouth as you made out with his plush lips. cage settled for your ass, grinding against it with equally needy grunts and breaths that haunted the back of your neck. when you pulled away from the kiss, you noticed johnny's already fucked out expression, his swollen lips parted as he tries pathetically to catch his breath.

"pl... please," he breaths out, voice barely audible over your gentle whimpers and cage's groans. "you don't know how long i've wanted your mouth on my... fuck." his head lolls back as you wrap your fingers around his cock, feeling it throb and twitch hungrily.

"make us feel good, baby," cage grumbles, slapping the side of your thigh. "on your knees, come on." obeying like a dog, you drop to your knees with a harsh bump, but you'll worry about the pain later. cage is already unleashing his cock from the constraints of his pants, palming himself through his boxers. johnny does the same, but couldn't bring himself to wait any more as his dick slings out of his slacks, nearly slapping your cheek when he twitches.

you decide to play the cruel game, denying johnny of what he's borderline begging for, his wet eyelashes fluttering at the sight of you on your knees for him, and... other him. speaking of which, you turn your head and wrap your lips around cage's cock, hollowing your cheeks and gently sucking down on his weeping tip. bobbing your head only a couple inches to tease, cage groans and watches johnny writhe for release.

"what's the matter?" cage taunts a slackjawed johnny. "jealous?" johnny bites down on his lower lip and nods wildly, cheeks flushed and averting eye contact. "hey, hey, ah-" cage tuts. he reaches over and grabs johnny by the neck, angling his face forward. "look at me while she sucks me off." and so johnny does, desperately whimpering and gasping as he watches cage's expression contort when you take his cock fully in your mouth, gagging as you reach the base. his other hand reaches down and holds your head in place, your lips burning from the stretch of the thickness. sure, they were both packing, but cage's was thick while johnny's was long.

your fingers found your cunt, swiping three available fingers across your folds and gathering the wetness before searching for johnny's cock and stroking as best as you can from this angle. his precum mixed with your slick allowed you to slide across easily. your head and torso were angled toward cage as you stretched your arm to jerk johnny off properly. both are now breathing heavily, and you only get to look up for a moment to notice cage's hand around johnny's neck, their intense eye contact having you wonder if you were even needed. clearly you were though, as they're both tensing and moaning at your pleasure.

fighting against cage's hand on the back of your head, you pull off of his cock with a pop and swap your attention, now jerking off cage while blowing johnny. the sudden onslaught of wet warmth makes johnny whine as he bucks into your throat, catching you off guard as you gag once again.

"ngh - sorry," he pathetically apologizes, only looking down at you for a moment. if he looked for any longer, he might just cum there and then. "m'sensitive."

"yeah you are," cage snarls, eyes clenching shut as he focuses on the pleasure. "god, you've got yourself a fuckin' whore in this timeline, don'tcha? you like sharin', johnny?" cage grabs your hair and tugs it lightly, and you hum an agreement against johnny's dick that makes him gasp as he nods along. johnny's warm, wet tip is seeping precum that places a salty taste on your tongue while it traces every vein.

cage's purring degrading comments and praises are lost to your hazy mind, too focused on pleasing the cocks in your face. you manage to pick up a few things about how good you look like this, and how cute they make them in this timeline. of course johnny would be attracted to himself, of course. this, thankfully, gives you an idea.

"hold on," you remove your lips from johnny and he involuntarily bucks into your face at the loss of pleasure. "can we try something?"

the two men exchange dubious glances, but their low lids and parted lips tell you they'd agree to anything you'd ask of them right about now. they nod simultaneously and you rise with a grin, wiping your mouth. each hand finds a dick and picks the stroking up again, trying to keep them heated and eager. one thing you pick up on quickly is that for as much smack as they talk, they're both desperately close from a few touches alone, bucking and whining into your hands. cage's cocky attitude has washed away and mirrored johnny's as they both submit to your touch. just as you feel them getting desperate, clawing at any part of your clothes or skin they could make contact with, you tug them together. cage leans against the wall, and johnny leans against a large equipment crate, gripping the corners.

you guide their dicks together until their undersides brush up on each other, making them both jolt in surprise. clasping your hands in a wide hoop, you resume your stroking, this time with both of their cocks trapped in your grasp. the messy mixture of fluid creates a wet noise as you glide up and down their touching cocks. johnny, as always, can't contain his desire and begins to rut into your hand, rubbing against cage's dick in the process. cage picks up on the idea, and the two men rub their cocks together as your hands stroke around them.

"holy-" cage slaps a hand over his eyes, groaning as his head tilts back. it's clear in all of his time, frotting was never something on his list. neither for johnny. "this... it's too much, doll."

"god - ffngh... it's supposed to feel like that," johnny interjects breathlessly, hips bucking up sloppily. his chin touches his chest as he hopelessly chases his high. "come on, no way you've - ahh - never done this. keep-keep moving-" a sharp hiss escapes his throat when you rub your thumb over his slit.

their thighs clench and their bucking becomes wild and it could be clear to anyone that they're extremely close. you also realize that they're entirely getting off on each other, whining every time their tips catch on each other. cage tightens his grip on johnny's neck and clenches his thigh with his other, while johnny is death gripping the box as he shakes and writhes.

"you can do it," you mutter encouragements to the men as their thrusts stutter. "talked so much before, where is it now, boys? you were doing so good..."

johnny couldn't take another second of the pleasure mixed with your praises, and with a final jolt, his thighs twitch as he cums, shooting ropes of his semen on both your hands and cage's cock. the cum coating his own cock got cage going just enough to finish shortly after, both of them spasming as semen drips down your hands. there was so much, and it felt so warm against your skin as they both whimpered and groaned curses and praises aimed at you and the other man. you lean down and place your lips around their tips, attempting to catch the final spurts as they dripped out. licking up their shafts to collect what you could, they simultaneously hiss at the overstimulation of their sensitive dicks, twitching and trying to pull away from your ruthless grip.

"alright, alright, fucking hell..." cage whines, pulling away with a harsh tug. his breath feels far away, impossible to recollect as he watches johnny shield his face with his arm, skin flushed and sweaty as his dick continues to throb in your hand.

they both reel seeing you lick your fingers, placing them in your mouth and sucking gently, lashes fluttering at how good - and similar - they tasted. johnny finally catches his breath and is the first one to properly speak up.

"someone's probably looking for us," he breathes, trying to fix his dress shirt with sweaty palms. "we... we should get back out there."

"right," you hum as your fingers are pulled from your mouth. "we were... in the middle of fixing all this."

"i dunno," cage smirks, crossing his arms. "i kind of like it here. i got two pretty things to keep me busy."

"don't make it weird," johnny groans, head lolling to the side as he stretches. "don't do that."

"how is that weird?" cage puts his hands on his hips.

oh lord, here they go ahead. maybe another round would shut them up.

[nailbatss]

A Cup of Love - Harringrove

Hooray! My first official post for @harringrovewinterbingo ! I've had a lot of stuff come up, but I hope you enjoy this Harringrove fluff!

Square & Prompt: A1 - Hot Chocolate and Warm Hugs

Rating: SFW, hella fluff

Word Count: 880+

Major Tags: Mention of Billy’s past, Harringrove, soft Billy, slightly ooc Billy

Additional Tags (If any): Billy Hargrove needs a hug, Steve Harrington needs a hug

Summary (for fan fiction): After all the drama in his life, Billy finally feels safe and secure in this little life he’s built with the right person.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Snow sucks. It’s too cold, unpredictable, and sticks to every-damn-thing. At least back in California, they’d rarely ever see snow. While he missed the sunny days and surfing, this was exactly where he needed to be.

Years ago, he would have disagreed. He would have done everything he possibly could to turn tail and head back to those same sunny days. He wouldn’t have thought he could be as happy now as he was back then.

Turns out, fate has a funny way of showing things.

After all the monster hunting, wounds to the chest, and the years beaten into him of how imperfect he was, he knew that was all the past. He knew monsters were really real nowadays. Long nights of nightmares, hospitals, and all the healing he had to do were the roughest part. It was also dealing with a lot of ugly feelings brought up in said situation. He didn’t think peace would be part of his life. 

Right now, that wasn’t something he thought about.

Dusting off his jacket, Billy huffed and headed back towards the cabin. Warmth would be waiting for him as well as a hot shower. Maybe, with some luck and convincing, he could get some homemade soup out of the deal. Stepping inside the foyer, Billy shrugged off his heavy winter jacket, slipped off his boots, and he hung up his jacket with care. He immediately sighed in satisfaction from feeling the warm air brushing against his frozen skin. He was not used to the cold nights or snowy days, but at least he was happy.

“Baby, is that you?” A voice called distantly, likely in the living room area, he’d guess.

“Who else would it be?” He called back over his shoulder.

A soft chuckle followed that question.

“I suppose you’re right. Come on in.” The voice answered.

Stepping out of the front area, he flicked off the unnecessary lights as he passed through the wooded cabin. He smiled warmly while taking in the sight before him. Sitting on the floor was a very cozy, warm appearing boyfriend of his tending to the fire in the fireplace. He had on one of Billy’s oversized sweaters, a pair of sweatpants, fluffy socks, and he was poking the wood around with the poker. 

“There you are, did you get some more wood?” Steve asked as he set down the firepoker, smiling at the blonde.

“Mhm. Probably not enough for the time I spent cutting.” He answered as he made his way over to the fire itself, instantly embraced by the warmth given off by the flames. He took a seat beside Steve as the brunette wrapped a blanket around them. 

There was a mug placed in his hands and he sighed in content, smelling the fresh cocoa that was likely brewed over said fire. He lifted the cup to his lips, taking a swig of the hot liquid. A delighted hum leaving his throat before he settled his gaze on Steve’s face, obviously awaiting a response. 

“Best cup yet, thanks baby.” He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “I think you did a damn good job.”

A soft giggle escaped the brunette’s lips as he shakes his head. “You say that all the time.”

“And I mean it all the time.” 

Billy’s free arm wrapped around Steve’s waist, pulling him closer as he leaned his head into the gap of his neck. “Mm, you’re so warm.” He placed a soft kiss to the skin.

A shocked gasp left Steve’s body.

“Shit, babe, you’re so cold!” He said while he felt Billy wrapping around him like a cobra.

“Can you blame me? You’re warm.” He set down his mug, slipping his hands under his sweater.

“Oh my god! Stop!” Steve complained and he tried to nudge his hands away.

“Make me.” The former Californian challenged in his deep, raspy voice he loved so much.

“You need to bundle up more, I swear to god, you don’t listen to me.”

“Again, make me, pretty boy.” 

Steve didn’t have a response for that one. He was too busy trying not to choke on the words from his boyfriend. He lightly shoved his shoulder. “Asshole.” He murmured.

Billy’s deep chuckle resounded in his ear, reminding him that this was his true self, his safe, warm, protected self. He was happy, he was safe, he was loved. Love… Though they’ve been together for a few years now, it still made his heart skip a beat whenever he thought about being in love with him.

“I love you, California.”

“I love you more, Indiana.” The reply came easily, almost as easily as breathing.

“Do I get a kiss now? I almost froze my ass off for you.”

Steve laughed, “Yeah, yeah, come here, handsome.” He put a hand on the back of the blonde’s head, gently guiding him up for a kiss.

“Mmm, chocolatey.” He purred like a cat who caught his prey.

“You’re a dork.”

“Only yours.” He said as he wrapped his arms around him, hugging him in a loving embrace.

Steve nuzzled against him, pressing a kiss to his head. “I like the sound of that.”

“Then you’re gonna like the sound of being mine forever someday.”

“Yeah, that too.” He blushed. "That too."

Life was better now. He had warm cuddles, hot chocolate, and a cup of love to go with it.

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

kit reads a comic: untold tales and alternate timelines, issue 1 (part 2)

finishing off the rest of the issue today! very convenient this one is split into two. i fear for the length the other reaction posts will be when i have to go through the entire issue for the story instead of half-and-half.

time to look for some good scientists. i'll even take the sub-par ones

oh shit i was right it is about doc getting picked up for the manhattan project! the comic opens on the california institute of technology, 1943, as helpfully supplied by the text box. i think this is the one where doc shows them his jello cube with a singular mushroom in it. the mushroom is very important. anyways, doc storms into i think his boss’s office and he’s very mad! his boss asks him why he’s not teaching to which he replies this:

gotta search up something rq.

yeah this is funny. [a la shrek they don’t even have dental] he doesn’t even teach a math course

docs mad bc he’s noticed all his other colleagues have been disappearing to contribute to what he guesses is a “top-secret think tank” for the war so what’s he still doing here?? that should be him!! (or in his words, “you should’ve bussed me off ages ago!”) throughout his whole rant about credentials and stuff he’s doing this:

the pose and the face are very silly to me. yeah this guy looks highly qualified to me. checks out

i also love how similar he’s drawn to the video game version of him. i can hear this in his younger self’s video game voice

so his boss is like yeah you’re right there is something going on and we thought about you for it and doc immediately takes this as a confirmation that he’s going and asks “can i bring my dog?” which i thought was cute. the canine assistant is very important to him. his boss goes no wait. we get this explanation :

you can say you think his place is a mess. it’s okay. love the stress on “psychologists” too like damn you really think it’s that worrying

doc is not the slightest bit offended he just goes yeah i get it. but ☝️i have an idea

we cut to:

a very tidy and respectable home! seems he’s cleaned up! they’re like yeah based on what we’ve seen we think you’re fit to come with us. then they step on his mail on their way out which reveals that this isn’t his apartment! it’s his landlady’s! tough luck doc….

doc goes home, not deterred by this in the slightest. he WILL be bussed off to that think tank. he’s put his mind to it and by god is he going to accomplish it. oh weird his apartment lights are on-

GOVERNMENT PEOPLE JUMPSCARE

love the guy on the left’s face like yeah. we broke into your apartment. we’re the government. we can do that

also his apartment isn’t even that bad. look how much floor space is clear! plenty of room to roam still, no problem (the bar is low.) (please ignore the giant death ray)

also he still has the stuff on his walls in 1985! the cat clock, the sax, the giant taxidermy fish

the guy in the back turns around OPPENHEIMER??? what are you doing here…. (we know what he’s doing here) (bomb)

they’re like yeah we knew it wasn’t your house this whole time. we respect the hustle. you’re with us now you’re now officially part of the manhattan project! doc says this is cause for celebration and he pulls out:

THE JELLO.

the mushroom really is perplexing. free my man

and that’s the end actually! i thought it would be longer, i’m surprised there isn’t more. looking at the page count this checks out though.

doc being so eager to get into the project is like.

(he doesn’t know.)

not much on the bingo front today. i assume he got his landlady’s permission to use her house but he also could’ve not so it’s a toss-up to if the square is filled

i’m sure this will be cleared up in a later issue (and by that i mean he’s definitely committing another, more clearly defined crime)

well, we found our good scientist! next on kit reads a comic: the government breaks into doc’s house again.

[divagrace]

Cowboy Rafe x Cowgirl Reader

Summary: Cowboy Rafe and reader somehow keep bumping into each other at the county fair, and they are both immediately infatuated. Then Rafe ends up inviting her to the rodeo and feelings escalate.

Warnings: cussing

⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧ ⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧ ⛧°. ⋆༺☾

The air was hot and sticky. Summers in South Carolina weren’t for the weak, especially in mid August.

Your white t-shirt made itself uncomfortably known by clinging to your skin, and your legs started to sweat from being constricted in your tight bootcuts.

Your favorite boots, square toe and embroidered with white flowers into the brown leather, kicked up dirt every step you took.

You could hear little kids screaming for cotton candy, and people of all ages crying out in both delight and fear on the rides that were located to your left.

The county fair.

Meanwhile Rafe was helping his little cousin get his pig ready for its show. Wilbur, he named it. Funny enough after the Charlotte’s Web book, because Wilbur in that story gets saved, but little Theo’s pig will be someone else’s bacon by next month.

“Rafe.” Theo whispers quietly to him as he is tossing his clementine peel to Wilbur.

“Yes?” Rafe asks, not really paying attention to his cousin. He’s busy trying to calculate the amount of money Theo could most likely get if he does good showing Wilbur.

“Ain’t that girl real pretty.” Theo says, lifting his hand to point at you.

Rafe’s eyes snap to where Theo is pointing.

And the sky be damned.

You are a beautiful woman. Your white tee shirt is showing you off in all the right places. Your jeans hug your ass perfectly, and the buckle that’s shimmering on your belt shows that you’re not a bunny. Your boots scuff up the dusting of dirt that’s on the cement of the barn floors.

You are ethereal.

Rafe looks over to Theo after goggling at you for a few seconds too long.

“Put your hand down Theo. Pointin ‘s rude.” Rafe says while swatting his hand away.

You make your way around, looking at all the pigs, occasionally stopping and talking to someone in their pen. You finally make it where Rafe and Theo are.

“Hi!” Theo says excitedly. Your eyes turn to him and you smile brightly.

“Hi there hun. Who are you showin today?” You ask him. His eyes light up and he begins to tell you all about his pig.

As much as you want to listen, you can’t help but find that your eyes keep straying over to the tall man sitting next to Theo.

You continue to nod and add comments about something that Theo says. He told you all about Wilbur, and him, and even school. He’s a cutie.

“And this is my cousin Rafe! He’s grumpy looking but he’s nice to me!” Theo begins telling you about the man sitting next to him.

Rafe smiles and shakes his head. He stands up to greet you, because that’s what his momma taught him.

“Hi I’m Rafe. Rafe Cameron. It’s lovely to meet you.” Rafe says formally while reaching out to shake your hand. You return the gesture.

“Hi. ” You start to introduce your self but when you grab his hand you swear you feel a jolt of electricity. You pull your hand back and plaster a smile on your face.

Theo sits there, talking and talking about his pig. You listen to every word that comes passionately from his mouth. Before he can finish telling probably the fifth story about Wilbur, Rafe has to I interrupt him.

“Theo buddy we got your show in like 20 minutes so we should get Wilbur ready.” Rafe cuts him off. Theo’s face turns solemn for a second, but then he perks back up, most likely thinking about showing Wilbur.

“Okay! Let’s do it.” He says while jumping up from his spot in Wilbur’s pen. You can’t help but let out a giggle at his enthusiasm.

“Well I’ll see you guys around. Thank you for telling me all about your pig Theo.” You smile brightly at him. You turn your head to Rafe.

“I’ll see you around?” He asks you. You shyly nod your head, and then turn around to leave the pig barn.

���°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧ ⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧ ⛧°. ⋆༺☾

That wasn’t the only time you saw Rafe.

While walking to get yourself some fries, you bumped right into him as he was turning around to leave the stand himself.

“Oh hey.” You say smiling as he seems to finally gather his senses. Now his smile matches yours.

“Hey.”

“How did Theo’s show go?” You ask him. Rafe’s smile now turns into a proud grin.

“It went really great. Theo didn’t good, and I think he’ll have a high bidder.”

Your eyes light up. “That’s great! He’s such a cutie. I’m glad it went well for him.”

“Yeah he’s having a great time.” Rafe laughs.

You order your fries and as you reach for your wallet, Rafe slaps a 10 right onto the counter and tells the cashier to keep the change.

You stand there in slight disbelief, your hand still hovering over your purse.

While grabbing your basket of fries and cheese cup that you ordered, you shoot Rafe a tiny glare. He doesn’t seem to mind, just grinning brightly right in your face.

“Do you want to go sit down?” Rafe asks you. With the confirmation from you, Rafe leads you guys to one of the picnic table located on the grounds.

You start talking and getting to know each other. You talk about all sorts of things like jobs, family, friends, what you want to do further in the future

You find out that Rafe is in the electrical union, and he is working with a company nearby. You can tell the way that he talks about his job that he loves it, and it’s honestly really cute.

You tell him all about your passions and dreams. He looks at you like he’s hanging on to every word that’s coming out of your mouth.

The two of you have long gone finished your fries and are now just having a conversation.

“I was wondering…” Rafe trails off.

You perk up a little.

“Yes?”

“I have an extra ticket to the rodeo tomorrow night since my friend bailed on me.” He stops talking once again.

“Uh huh.” You say teasing him. You want to make him ask you.

“Do you want to go with me?” He finally asks.

The smile on your face now reaches from ear to ear.

“Yeah I’ll go with.” You say happily.

His face breaks into a grin.

“Where do you want me to pick you up?” He asks.

“I’ll give you my address. Phone number please.” You say while stretching out a hand. He gives you his phone and you type in your address and hand it back to him. He quickly texts you to make sure the number works, the smile never leaving his face.

“It’s a date.”

[lazy-ahh]

screaming, crying, begging for Mark to be real

YOU AND ME TOGETHER MAN CAUSE WHAT YOU MEAN HE ISN'T??? THE WAY HE EXISTS IN MY HEART IS TAX-EXEMPT, COURT-APPROVED, AND LEGALLY BINDING. THE GOVERNMENT CAN’T STOP ME FROM BELIEVING. I’VE SEEN THE TRUTH IN THE SHOW AND IT WILL BE ADMITTED AS EVIDENCE—

no, cause what you mean markus sebastian grayson doesn’t exist? not when i can feel him in the air, in the way my chest tightens when i think of his stupid, beautiful stubbornness—how he clenches his jaw and squares his shoulders like the weight of the world is his to carry, like he could outlast the cosmos if it dared test him. his eyes, god, his eyes, always burning with that reckless hope, that defiant kindness, like he still believes in good even when the universe spits in his face. my baby tries so hard, gives everything he has until he’s bruised and breathless, and for what? for who? HE DESERVES TO BE REAL. HE DESERVES TO BE HERE, tangled in my sheets at 1 AM, sighing into my neck as i run my fingers through his stupid, perfect hair. he deserves to wake up to my kisses, to my whispered good mornings, to my hands smoothing over the scars he won’t talk about but i’d worship anyway.

cause what you mean i can’t hear his voice every damn day? that i can’t listen to him ramble about seance dog with that little cute voice crack he does when he’s excited, or groan about how his mom is being 'embarrassing' again, or say my name like it’s something sacred? what you mean i can’t feel his laugh vibrating against my skin as we curl into each other, his arms tight around me like i’m the one who needs protecting for once? what you mean mark isn’t real enough for me to fuss over him, to push food into his hands when he forgets to eat, to yell at him for jumping into fights he shouldn’t—because of course he does, because he’d rather bleed than let someone else (especially those he cares for) hurt? that’s who he is. that’s mark. he loves like it’s the only thing he knows how to do, like his heart’s too big for his chest, and it ruins me.

cause what you mean his 6’0 ass isn’t in my kitchen right now? hips bumping mine as we dance around each other, flour smudged on his cheek because he’s a disaster, but he’s my disaster, and he’s grinning at me like i’m the sun and he’s just learning how to orbit. what you mean i can’t trace the curve of his smile with my thumb, can’t memorize the way his hands—have you seen his hands?—span my waist, rough and gentle all at once, like he’s afraid i’ll break but knows i won’t? because i know for damn sure he'll make sure of it. what you mean i can’t kiss the little beauty marks on his shoulders, can’t count his breaths as he sleeps, can’t have him in all the ways that matter?

i’m so normal for this man. NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. he’s in my dreams, in my lungs, in the way i catch myself smiling at nothing because i think of him doing something stupid and funny and so endearing in my head again. do you know how deranged it is to love someone who doesn’t exist? a fucking fictional character? to think of his face when listening to love songs and reading something romantic, to perk up at the sound of his name being mentioned and immediately look around, to ache for him like he’s a limb i’m missing? i breathe easier when i think of him. i live brighter. he’s the reason i push through the day, the reason i believe in good things—and isn’t that fucked up? isn’t it tragic? i need therapy. i need an exorcism. i need him.

cause what you mean i can’t repay him? what you mean i can’t thank him for saving me in ways he’ll never know? for being the voice in my head that says keep going, for being the hand i reach for in the dark? i’ve seen his smile—god, his smile—it’s etched into my bones, a brand i’ll carry to my grave. it follows me. it owns me.

i’ve had one dream—just one—where the air smelled like his cologne and his heartbeat thudded against my palm like a second language. where he was mine and i was his, not in some grand, dramatic way, but in the quiet, honey-slow moments that make up a life. where we could’ve been anywhere—curled on a couch with his fingers in my hair, or laughing under streetlights with his arm slung over my shoulders, or pressed together in a kitchen still warm from breakfast, or flying in the night sky as we cry together after having one little argument cause of a misunderstanding—and it would’ve been enough. it was the kind of love that didn’t need to shout; it lived in the spaces between our breaths, in the way his thumb traced circles on my wrist like he was memorizing me.

to this day, i still feel the ghost of his lips on my forehead. i still wake up reaching for him, my hands clutching at sheets that smell like nothing, like no one. i’ll never forget how he looked at me—like i was the only thing worth seeing in a sky full of stars. i’ll never forget the way he loved me, so easy and sure, like it was the simplest truth in the world. and i’ll especially never forget the ache that followed, the cruel joke of waking up to a reality where that love never got to exist outside my ribs. i mourn for him.

so many nights, i’ve chased that dream like a sinner begging for absolution. i’ve buried my face in pillows still warm from my body and pleaded with the universe—let me go back, let me have him, just for five more minutes. i’ve clenched my eyes shut until they burned, as if sheer want could stitch me back into that memory. but dreams don’t work like that. they take what they want and leave you hollow.

now, i just go to sleep like it’s a ritual. like if i’m careful enough, quiet enough, desperate enough, the cosmos might pity me and give him back. i write for him, i breathe for him, i drag myself through the day just for the chance—no matter how slim—that when i close my eyes, i’ll find him waiting for me. that maybe, maybe, this time, i won’t have to let go. and then it becomes a cycle when i wake up the next day, push through, and try again.

because what’s worse than a dream you can’t forget? a love you can’t have.

he’s real enough. to me, he has to be.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!! :]

[tbatthis]

for the benefit of no one except myself i’ve been keeping a media list all year, and i felt like being long-winded as shit so here is a jumbo post about all of them. these won’t be in chronological order at all and in fact is starting with the last game i finished this year because i thought grouping them into Blocks would be fun. for me. so yeah here we go

THE PS1 JRPG FREAK’S DELIGHTS:

FINAL FANTASY VIII- the quintessential sicko’s game. a game that has like five slow unskippable tutorials where they walk you step by step through exactly how their completely bizarre equipment system works and yet is still considered obtuse. not to me though i’m a genius and i understand exactly how to snap the game in two like a twig.

yes you have to memorize a lot of weird esoteric knowledge about deliberately avoiding levelling up by turning every enemy you see into a marketable trading card, because doing this thwarts the level scaling which does not account for your actual stats. yes you then have to understand that you can turn cards into items that can be turned into magic that can be turned into doing 2000 damage like three hours into the game. and yes, failure to do that results in going “uhh i junction. fire. to attack.” and wondering why every fight takes a million years.

those are all charm points. almost no other game leaves itself totally neutral to letting you annihilate its difficulty curve in the way ff8 does. it is built from the ground up to accomodate sickos of all stripes. it rules actually.

the story is really really good. also. don’t believe the liars, and the doubters. they were filtered by squall leonheart having a “character arc.” open your heart and your mind and you will learn that LOVE is REAL and also see like four of the funniest guys ever invented (laguna my beloved zell my beloved selphie my beloved irvine my beloved etc).

this one has like all the rawest limit breaks in the series that’s important. they made unique animations for when squall uses his on certain bosses it’s very cool.

i am stopping this segment here because ff8 is one of my favouritest games ever for my whole life and i am liable to talk Forever if left unchecked so. oops onto the entire rest of the list.

STAR OCEAN THE SECOND STORY R- the thing about saying “almost no other game” lets you be as much of a weird weirdo about it as ff8 does is that you do indeed leave room for there to be… another.

this game rules. it really does the same thing ff8 does where it drops some way too elaborate sprawling system in front of you and if you’re an evil genius you can immediately cook up a brew most foul with it. i read through all the skills you can use and found all the shit about deliberately lowering your stats to gain more exp and just did the grinch smile and watched my guys get so juiced on bonus exp that their stat debuffs immediately stopped mattering. i cannot convey how much a game neutrally presenting you with the ability to be really stupid and letting you figure that out yourself Delights Me. it is so fun.

this is as good a time as any, in the ps1 freak game block, to say that we probably didn’t need to make games look any better than either of these. star ocean 2 looks craaaazy (yeah it has hd2d remake buffs but stillll its a 2d ps1 game at its core) and ff8 is like a 25 year old game about expressionless dolls and it still makes me go like Damn, This Is The Cutting Edge……. square you can stop making 1000 billion dollar hyperrealistic monster action games and make like. a turn-based game with fixed camera angles. it will look better. it will be cooler. trust. trust.

making your lead character a whiny incel voiced by spike spencer is hilarious btw. claude c kenny you are a deeply pathetic little man and i think they were very aware of that when they cast spike spencer. he isnt as pathetic as ashton though. my best friend ashton. go play this game to see ashton he’s sooo funny i love him.

FROMSOFT PERVERT BLOCK:

BLOODBORNE (LIKE TWICE IN A ROW)- i mean what am i gonna say it’s bloodborne. it’s like the sickest game ever. game precision engineered to let you do slow edgy rp walks that lead directly into parrying a nefarious beast, thus making you feel like an extremely raw deviantart drawing of shadow the hedgehog. the Perfect Game, some may well say, if they are me.

ELDEN RING AND ALSO ITS DLC- i definitely liked elden ring more this time around because i used a Large Stick to Squash Like Bug instead of trying to look cool and also because i shed my gamer pride and just used the damn summons. the base game bosses are still designed by a malevolent gestalt entity of every guy in the youtube comments saying using a greatsword in dark souls 1 is Cheating, and so i just summoned on almost all of them towards the end. i don’t fucking care. i’m not dignifying malenia with an honourable duel. she’s mean.

anyway the dlc was actually much much better. the bosses were almost always designed around the idea that maybe you are fighting them on your own and its like wow!!! fun!!! they even have a boss who is designed to have someone helping you out, but it doesn’t feel like you’re just turning the boss off by doing that!! crazy!!! i love fromsoft games actually!!!

let’s not talk about promised consort radahn.

SHE PRESS ON MY TURN TIL I SYSTEM:

PERSONA 3 RELOAD- aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis aigis i love aigis my best pal aigis my funny animal aigis sorry about your dead boyfriend but i think wistfully remembering him in soft focus is good for your character arc.

most of the Remakey elements of this game. are good. i like how it looks. the menus are sick. giving strega some extra scenes is nice. the new tartarus stuff is fun. etc etc

i could kiiinda do without some of the extra fake-social link scenes for sees because a lot of them kinda feel like nothing EXCEPT THE AIGIS ONES WHERE SHE LOOKS AT COOL BUGS THOSE ARE IMMACULATE all the other ones feel like they last ten million years and can be summarized as “akihiko would like to be strong” yes i knew this from his actual character arc thank you.

and also the new anime cutscenes fuckin blooooow ass they lost every ounce of sauce the original scenes had they RUINED makoto’s awakening scene and i’ll NEVER forgive them in my WHOLE LIFE. however the ending made me sob again so its ok

SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI 3: NOCTURNE- now this is a sicko’s game. this is what it’s all about. can we get some damn dungeons with obnoxious gimmicks back in the damn jrpgs. and a random encounter system, too. to facilitate the feeling of being trapped in hell. can we throw the youth of the day into the labyrinth of amala, to build character. and can shoji meguro bring back his finest vocalist, text-to-speech albert.

SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI V: VENGEANCE- look i like smt5 a lot. i liked it enough to get vengeance. i think vengeance is a lot better in a lot of ways. story’s way better, has my evil sexy wife agrat bat mahlat etc etc HOWEVER we have lost our way as a people. random encounters. dungeons with a REAL gimmick, none of your reversing gravity to walk two meters and then landing on one giant platform nonsense. TEXT to SPEECH ALBERT. return to the promised paradise of sickos. please.

SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: STRANGE JOURNEY- now THIS is a SICKO’S GAME. trap me in the labyrinth with the hee-ho choir sir. make me solve the warp maze. maybe make the final boss like 10% less sicko though. i’m only so strongy.

I HAVE WATCHED ONE TELEVISION SHOW WITH REAL HUMAN BEINGS IN IT:

AND IT IS LIKE SIX SEASONS OF FRIENDS- look i was trapped on a plane for nine hours enroute to important oomfie activities and the only inflight thing i wanted to watch was the fifth and sixth seasons of friends. and then the hotel didnt have netflix, youtube, etc but it did have a channel showing nothing but friends all day. i have seen the episode about ross’ apothecary table five times this year due to this channel. anyway friends is like 50% funny and 50% a miserable exercise in seeing very insecure white people write jokes about how scared they are of the defiance of gender roles. joey/phoebe should have happened fuck you mike

I HAVE WATCHED NUMEROUS ANIME THOUGH:

MY HERO ACADEMIA- its fun okay. every tryhard who pretends they hate this show please stop being scared of some guy on twitter calling shows you like mickey mouse clubhouse and just like. enjoy things. if you actually hate it ok thats not very plus ultra of you but ok

JUJUTSU KAISEN- please copypaste the entire mha segment for this one. its good actually. every single popular shonen everyone starts pretending they hate it and its the worst show ever at like. some arbitrary point around 150 chapters in. whatever man. gojo is funny

FRIEREN- [sexually explicit fantasy regarding ubel has been deleted] really good show makes me very emo. cant wait for season 2. [further, even more sexually explicit fantasy regarding ubel deleted].

BOCCHI THE ROCK- more like bocchi the kino. more like bocchi the peak. more like bocchi the blorbo. insane show. never stops finding the damn gag of the century, right after having previously cracked the last gag of the century. you should watch bocchi NOW 🫵

KAGUYA-SAMA LOVE IS WAR- i guess either this or bocchi is my favourite anime. idk dont ask me. kaguya is funny i like it a lot. it has the advantage of also making me emo which. actually bocchi does that too. hm. whatever both are really good

DANDADAN- they took his balls. awesome. they ended the anime in maybe the most ill-advised way possible so i guess i have to read the manga

DRAGON BALL SUPER SUPER HERO YEAH THATS THE NAME- man i love piccolo

WAHOO YIPPEE ITSA ME:

MARIO SUNSHINE- evil video game made by and for the immoral. as such it has been a favourite of mine for years. some truly hideous stuff in here. they put mario in a pachinko machine. he’s pachinko mario. mario sunshine is in many ways a “gamer’s vampire” to me. i will love it forever even as it rips me apart.

MARIO ODYSSEY- wow a mario game that was made with joy and love in its heart instead of cruel malice. i guesssss its better than sunshine because of that but i have a perverse soul.

PAPER MARIO THE THOUSAND YEAR DOOR- wow they should make another one of these eh. wonder what ever happened to mario rpgs. wish they’d make one. ah well guess i’ll just play this one for all eternity.

WHAT IF CHESS MADE YOU HORNY?:

FIRE EMBLEM FATES CONQUEST- the last time i played fates it was on hard mode and i said i’d never do it again and then i played it one year later and did it on hard mode again. idk. i love the incest game. i’m a siscon gamer. i only ever marry felicia who is not related to you in any way but nevertheless. i’m here for dogshit story and maps that push me through a mesh sheet

UNICORN OVERLORD- vanillaware have truly provided the definitive answer to the question, of what if chess made you horny. and the answer is the game would be very good. it probably needed like more map variety because you do just have the same objective for 80 hours. however i understand this would cut into the ten billion yen budget assigned to animating an elf girl’s tits as if each one were a living breathing sentient being unto itself.

ENOUGH! MY SHIP SAILS IN THE MORNING. I WONDER WHAT’S FOR DINNER?:

ZELDA: MAJORA’S MASK- hey did you know that until xenoblade 2 this was my favourite game of all time. that it probably fundamentally warped my entire brain and shaped my tastes to forever be the guy whose favourite entry in any series is the Weird Freak that came out after the Iconic Most Beloved Game. a pattern that matches ocarina of time, final fantasy 7, xenoblade 1, mario 64, etc etc.

i mean i am a genius for it. majora’s mask is the best zelda. it is the coolest shit ever. it is so emo. it has deku link, named time magazine’s Man of the Year 2000. the only flaw….? heh…. that it set the bar too high for every subsequent zelda……

ZELDA: ECHOES OF WISDOM- okay but this was one pretty good. i’m glad we got another link’s awakening remake artstyle game. i very much enjoyed feeling like everything i was doing was some nefarious trick to circumvent the game when it is literally designed to be doing that. hey nintendo dont be scared of zelda being the protagonist. keep doing that. let her have a sword and also the power of summon bed. thanks for bringing back dekus btw i hope koroks rot in hell for a decade plus like dekus had to.

I THINK SHI-LONG LANG AND SHIH-NA SHOULD HAVE GRAPHIC ON-SCREEN SEX:

ACE ATTORNEY INVESTIGATIONS- i think shi-long lang and shih-na should have graphic on-screen sex

ACE ATTORNEY INVESTIGATIONS 2- i think shi-long lang and shih-na should have graphic on-screen sex

anyway these are the best ace attorney games. here’s hoping for a third game that features shi-long lang, and shih-na, well… oh, i shouldn’t say…..

THE “TBAT WAS TRICKED INTO PLAYING ROGUELIKES” BLOCK:

BALATRO- i love jonking out. i’m a jonkhead. what more can one say

VAMPIRE SURVIVORS- i only got it for the castlevania dlc and played that for a good bit and then had this dull realization that i was basically inhaling the video game equivalent of sawdust and went to play symphony of the night instead

I LOVE GOTHS I LOVE GOTHS I LOVE GOTHS I LOVE GOTHS:

CASTLEVANIA ARIA OF SORROW (LIKE THREE TIMES)- its da best castlevania, you know…. soma cruz…. what a raw design. what a raw concept. what a funny fucking goober. there is indeed a reason every single castlevania and also bloodstained just copied the soul absorbing shit from this game btw. lets all bow to the real king of the castle. vania.

CASTLEVANIA DAWN OF SORROW- but then again maybe this one’s the best one idk. its hard to tell. the soma sweep could well apply to two games. they really arent all that different. this one has cooler music i guess?? like it has bloody tears thats a big buff

CASTLEVANIA PORTRAIT OF RUIN- the panzeke castlevania (won’t elaborate on that). i think its pretty good but it does visibly run out of steam halfway through by pulling the ol devil may cry 4 where you just do the same areas again but backwards. only castlevania where you can say “i creampied richter belmont” and it is a legitimate boss strategy and not perverse lust for anime men

CASTLEVANIA ORDER OF ECCLESIA- they invented the coolest hottest goth to ever exist (OTHER THAN SHIH-NA) and then tormented me by making her the most boring bucket of paste ever written (UNLIKE SHIH-NA). and also her game is way too hard. i’m a sicko until a game is exactly 5% too hard and then i start crying. i will probably still play it again to see if i can unlock my gamer instinct and get good at it.

CASTLEVANIA SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT- bro they redubbed it. they took out the iconic oscar winning dracula voice acting. fucked UP. i definitely like symphony of the night but it has a lot of “i am inventing a genre please be nice” jank to it like bosses and rooms that seem to be designed around just spamming your Go Invincible For Like A Minute button. but it is raw. castlevania just is inherently raw.

BLOODSTAINED RITUAL OF THE NIGHT- it is genuinely so funny that this game features a legally distinct alucard, voiced by alucard’s original actor, but he isnt the guy you play as. no, iga just believed so hard in the concept of shanoa order of ecclesia that he went “my next game’s protagonist is Also a woman covered in ominous magic tattoos that let her absorb demon souls (not the game) and who has to kill her brother who went crazy from demon magic” but this time she has like. a personality.

i like bloodstained but the gulf in quality between the immaculate sprites of ds era castlevania and the buttttt uglyyyyy 3d models in this game really really debuffed it for me over time. bloodstained 2, when it releases in 2030, will be an unstoppable super game if it looks exactly like order of ecclesia or at least rises to the level of looking Acceptable in 3d

GAMES THAT DO NOT FIT INTO AN ARBITRARY VAGUELY HUMOUROUS BLOCK:

PIKMIN 2- one of the sicko greats….. i love jumping down an ominous hole and then as a little jape i am stabbed and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed with rusty knives and then there are falling rocks and perhaps even falling bombs. pikmin 4? a coward’s game. play pikmin 2 and learn a little something about the fragility of life.

LIKE A DRAGON: INFINITE WEALTH- i hope yakuza games never ever stop having evil white men voiced by a famous japanese actor who is hardcore struggling through the english lines. i hope yakuza games never ever stop

ASTRO BOT- god man look i knooow i knooow its good i know its the game of the yeaaar and yes i am not so heartless as to not go omg yaaay :) when i found the little aigis scrunko. but godddd the funko pop grease that astro bot is coated in. that cloying, ersatz whimsy. the reverence for the Playstation Brand as if i give a fuck about the ps5 as a box. begone, foul bot.

POKEMON SOULSILVER- “ohhh the dex selection” “ohhh the level curve” “ohhh kanto is still undercooked” i was having a comfy time with my little umbreon named shih-na and thats all that matters. also johto is the defacto region for my delusional pyrex pokemon au, so its good.

FINAL FANTASY X- we used to have it so good man. turn based rpgs used to be the king of the world. squaresoft would release three complete instant classics three years in a row and they would all be insanely good for wildly different reasons. we need to have some kinda technological dark age where everyone has to develop for At Best the ps2, and no further. that’ll sort this shit out

APPROXIMATELY 1000000 HOURS OF CERES FAUNA LIVESTREAMS- man i love fauna

THE GRADUATION ANNOUNCEMENT OF CERES FAUNA- i think this must have been how it felt to witness jfk’s assassination. i’ll never be happy again.

dont let me do this again or i will yap and yap and yap for all eternity

[fuckknowledgeandideas]

drop the blaise backstory the people need to know....

The funny one where he was born from an egg or the actual one ?

The funny one is : He was born from a square egg.

The real backstory/context/role in the story of this guy is : He always lived on [planet where the story takes place] and is one of the rare people to just be from it, he grew up relatively free of anything, kind of rushing through school uninterestedly, relatively easily but without any particular high praise, and started working right out of it. His family is kept kind of ambiguous even I don't exactly know what was going on with it Good thing, it was during a big wave of trying to make the place attractive to tourists, and he immediately got hired as the bellboy. Long story short, the hype died down in less than a decade, due to the completely inapt and unsustainable way people tried to modify the environment, notably trying to keep water on a place that doesn't have nights and that is entirely rocky/sandy desert on its outer layers! BUT you know what didn't change ? Blaise is still working as a bellboy. And a receptionist. And cleaning agent. And many other things since he's one of the only 3 staff members left out of everyone ! He's been working there for ten years and he's been kind of just. trapped there since he doesn't know what else he could do, he doesn't have any particular perspective on his future, and is waiting for the few final clients to LEAVE! so the place can finally shut down for good. He's trapped in stasis for a myriad of reasons but the ones mentioned earlier here are the least developed in the story so I'm mentioning them there.

In story, he's the very first character you meet, and since your player character (it's a type of faceless nameless protagonist that doesn't matter, you're here to learn about the others around) does NOT have any money to pay for its room after passing out outside out of dehydration, to equivalate what you owe, he tells you to find a way to kick everyone out so he can close the damn place. He's meant to be an anchor throughout the story that you can come to for information about locations or people, and he may even deliver some general world facts to you if you don't act like a complete bitch to him. Even rarer, he might talk about himself. a little bit. He's somewhat made to mirror Audrey, who will talk about people with a lot more emotion, and the places in a drastically more matter-of-fact manner, compared to him, who has more attachment to the place than to the people.

I think that's all? Any questions perhaps. I think he is cool. His name is puns on boredom synonyms.

[breakbeatbun]

i did a lot of "boy things" as a kid and I've always felt less "girl" because of it, i never played with stuff that was considered feminine, partly because i was afraid of judgment, but also i found "boy stuff" more appealing. it's tough not relating to one's peers in a binary way. i would love to play cars

tags on this post for context

i was raised by a mechanic and carpenter so a lot of my early free time was spent in a barn full of tools, machines, welding masks, piles of cut-up BMX bikes we'd find in the garbage, stripped-bare sandrails and their engines, couple rifles or compound bows here or there, probably listening to whatever crusty old rock music my dad put on. hell, i was rowing through the gears of my mom's old square body S10 while she drove us to the store before i was barely tall enough to see over the dash. "hanging out with friends" was playing Guitar Hero or Racing & Skateboarding Video Games, or riding our bikes and skinning our knees. "hanging out with dad" was often target shooting in the backyard or building something; I rarely ever held the flashlight, i had the tools in my hands and grease under my fingernails.

that's a lot of exposition but i'm trying to paint the most specific picture i can! TL;DR, a lot of arguably "boy things" in my upbringing, and i fit right into it, lot of fondness in my heart for it still!

around the time i had my big Gender Awakening at the tail-end of high school i had already been Online for a bit - hell i learned what it meant to feel non-binary from this very website circa 2013 - but it wouldn't be until maybe 2019 or so when i moved out that i really started making other queer and trans friends, and it was pretty immediately obvious that i was extremely different from the rest of my community, both online and offline. of course, nobody was rude about it, everybody was VERY respectful of my name and my pronouns and my identity, but it was still really easy for me to feel "othered" because our shared experiences didn't line up at all; At most maybe i got made fun of for having long hair. it made it really easy to feel like i wasn't doing enough work to justify my queerness.

at the other end of that spectrum, i recently tried on she/her pronouns at the front of my bio, just to see if i was missing something, and i was quickly met with an IMMEDIATE outpour of support from friends and community alike. SO many people were loud about being So Proud of me, Knew i Had It In Me, i had multiple friends message me privately to offer information and easy routes to HRT "just in case ;)" i was thinking about it! and, yeah, it's nice to have that kinda support, i'll admit! but it was hard not to feel a little invalidated in not wanting to change. it really felt like a lot of people, close friends even, just kinda saw me as a trans woman waiting to have a bigger realization, as though being non-binary was just a meaningless stepping-stone to something greater. and i mean, i can't blame them, they just wanted to help!!

today i'm pretty firmly Queer/non-binary (with a little bit of Girl on the side when it's either Appropriate or Funny), and my body and voice are very much unaltered from the ones i was born with. virtually indistinguishable from a cishet version of myself, just with the he/him lopped off and they/she sloppily appended in its place; simply because i don't have the energy or don't care to put much effort into change, and that's very much fine for me. I know damn well i don't owe it to anybody but myself anyway, granted none of it tends to matter much when you present as a rabbit girl on the internet LOL. I'm thankful to have built myself a little space where i can engage with others like me, or where other queers feel welcome to express interest in the things that I'M all about! even if it's a little few and far between. still struggle with feeling like i fit in with The Girls tho LMAO.

IDK! this post is my half-baked love letter to my fellow AMAB NB folks who get treated like Cis Men, Trans Women who don't "put the effort in," or Anyone who can Otherwise Relate in the same, or even an opposite sort of way. we are playing cars together

[ravenwolfie97]

it's time to discover more new things is pmd rescue team DX

it came up before with butterfree but i neglected to mention it; the rewards you get from mandatory rescue missions are very different from the original games. they give you more money and more immediately useful items. i think that's kinda neat

i harped on the arrangement of Tiny Woods before, but the remakes of Thunderwave Cave and Pokemon Square are really good! i like em :3

i went to Felicity Bank (why it's still called that instead of like. Persian Bank or something idk) and deposited my money, and i was surprised when i got a daily present! that's really nice, only unexpected cuz i don't think that had been a thing in any previous game, and more unexpected from the bank rather than the Kecleon Shop or something

the blurbs with every attack in dungeons is still really annoying. and it seems unnecessary with the activity log right there too. which, by the way, is in such a weird place - it's like bunched up in the corner of the screen where you can hardly see it. i would say either have the log on-screen front and center where you can see it or have it be an optional thing running in the background that you can check later. having both is really strange to me

i do really like the new level-up screen where you can see all the stat increases at once. the little fanfare at the beginning is cute too

random pleasant surprise: wonder tiles don't say anything if you step on them without any status changes. nice bit of QoL adjustment there

oh, something i didn't think about until now, the physical/special split isn't present in the original games because they're from gen 3 before that was a thing, and in DX it's explicit whether a move is physical or special exclusive from their type. that's cool

also, the addition of making it apparent whether or not your teammates can use a TM before buying it is super useful!

it is really nice, especially after just mentioning this to someone else as well, that in DX you just have to accept the jobs off the bulletin board, whereas in the original games you have to take them And Then open the ones you want to do before leaving. i'm pretty sure they fixed that in earlier games too, but feeling it side-by-side it does make a huge difference

it's also really nice and funny that DX actually sets up diglett and dugtrio's deal more by first introducing diglett as a little mischief maker who also (conveniently) made a tunnel from our base directly to the pelipper post office, instead of requiring you to go all the way across Pokemon Square to get there. another good QoL thing :3

it's been a long time since the last update (most of this was written months ago) and it's so interesting seeing just how different the dungeon experience between the original games and DX - you just have so much more information available now, and the control scheme feels completely different. i know super was similar, but i literally hadn't played that game since it came out nearly a decade ago, so... damn anyway i'll post again if there's any more things to discover between mt. steel and sinister woods

[autistic-crypt1d]

Warehouse 13 Live Blogging:

Season 3

Man these seasons are short!

S1, S2

Updates:

- The New Guy

- it's such whiplash from that random Christmas episode as the season 2 finale

- time to be sad!

- JINKS!!!! guys all I can think about when I see him is how he dies and I'm literally already sad

- ah yes cops, a fuck ton of electricity means bomb

- CLAUDIA IS SO COOL AND I LOVE JINKS AND I'M FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW

- "nothing to worry about" "oh you're lying" *smug and smiley* *gets zapped*

- "don't touch the bombs" "bombs?"

- Pete's hair is different and it's really noticeable but I can't tell what's different

- Jinks's "square up" face XD

- was that the same guy? I don't remember but it seems like it was

- ahh ketchupy blood

- Jinks I love you but they are siblings SHUSH

- yay Myka!!!

- that girl is soooooo coocoo for cocopuffs

- Trials

- Claudia and Jinks are so funny

- also everytime I see Jinks I also think of the absolute ass wipe he played in Veronica Mars

- AHHH CRINGE

- wholesome

- Love Sick

- OMFG I REMEMBER THIS EPISODE XD

- good lord Pete

- "are you what they call a bear" BRUH XD

- LET'S GO CLAUDIA!!

- Queen For A Day

- god I love how weird everyone immediately gets about Pete's ex

- especially Myka

- owie :(

- Claudia and Jinks make me wanna cry y'all 😭

- 3...2...1...

- H.G. episode?? Man I was just thinking about how I miss her

- oh dear

- H.G.!!!

- owie 😭

- their both so heartbroken about what she did man 😭

- Don't Hate the Player

- oh shit I forgot Fargo is in a second episode!!

- XD

- PFFFFT the way Claudia says "brave hero! You've come to rescue me" is so fucking funny

- god Claudia's screams during her attack is so heartbreaking 😭

- Myka!!!

- The 40th Floor

- Sally is terrifying y'all

- this is a setup right?

- god I love Claudia XD

- oof Mrs. Frederic is involved now, Sally you're screwed

- ah yeah, totally don't listen to the most uniquely qualified person in the room. Someone who not only protected the literal president of the united states, but is also familiar with artifacts

- Jinks fucks this up doesn't he

- god that shameless promo was so bad

- yup, he did

- Jane is awesome

- let's go Pete!!!!

- wait guys no, no I remember what's gonna happen to Jinx next and I'm gonna cry 😭

- I FORGOT JANE IS HIS MOTHER

- Shadows

- owie :(

- owie 😭

- Insatiable

- "if some psycho tried to off your mother, wouldn't you want payback?" "you never met my mother" PFFFT

- he's such a dad

- I love the silly little location texts they do in this show

- why tf would she want him to stay behind, that's dumb af. Thank god Pete decided to not listen

- yeesh

- I love the dog so much

- owie :(

- Claudia, please do not

- damn it Claudia

- what kind of closet door locks from the inside? What kind of closet has a lock?

- Emily Lake

- oh god I forgot about this storyline, I don't remember how this ends and I'm stressed

- PFFFFT HER DROP

- bro give her a break she's stunned at the sight of her long lost gf ok

- she sounds so weird as an american

- yeesh

- oop he's not dead

- guys you cannot ask her to kill her, she loves her 😭

- "how do you say goodbye to the one person who knows you better than anyone else?" "I wish I knew" GUYS 😭

- RUN CALUDIA!!!

- guys I'm not ready for what's about happen

- guys, guys I'm not ready

- welcome back H.G...

- guys...

- the music, fuck

- "please get back to the car"

- her scream 😭

- guys 😭

- guys the way Myka ran to her

- guys I was supposed to go to sleep after this episode wtf

- Stand

- ow ow ow ow ow

- "I'll stay with him" ow ow ow

- oh shit

- Bering & Wells 💛

- let's go Mrs. F!!!

- we just got her back 😭

- my heart can't take this y'all 😭

- why wouldn't she put the device in the field!!!!

- :(

- THE WATCH!!!!

- The Greatest Gift

- ANOTHER CHRISTMAS EPISODE AFTER A HEARTBREAKING ONE????

- wtf is happening

- why tf does her shirt have 2 collars

- pfffft not Artie spite-snipping the bonsai XD

- the running is so silly

- end of season 3, can't wait to be depressed in season 4!

Season 4

[ozzyfromthecafeteria]

so. sits all niceys with my hands politely folded and all. bigmouth strikes again is truly A Song Ever and it’s so close to us since damn! Damn! latching onto this song with an iron grip. y’know?

sweetness, sweetness i was only joking when i said i’d like to smash every tooth in your head / sweetness, sweetness i was only joking when i said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed <- these verses. something something open wounds on tumblr but anyway! this is both… the fake love and care our abusers gave to us and warped in ways where we’d feel… guilted? into giving them what they want. and when people would dismiss anytime we’d bring it up it’s always, “but so and so loves you so much! they’d never hurt you like that, and i know for a fact they wouldn’t!”

hastily slapping a sticker on like that guy with the flex tape and the leaking tank. i was only joking! also hits close to home because every insult and instance of bullying was brushed off as merely a joke and i shouldn’t be so upset over it because it’s simply a funny joke and i’m ruining the mood by not laughing about it! also there could be something said by how most times with any expression of affection i brace myself because i know it’s not real and i’m only going to get hurt just like before. (cheery voice) but we don’t have the time to unpack all of that!

and now i know how joan of arc felt, now i know how joan of arc felt / as the flames rose to her roman nose and her walkman started to melt <- wooh boy the random shipments of traumatic memories making us re-experience the experiences of the girl we haven’t been and maybe never have been in the beginning, though alas! having to deal with sudden flashbacks shattering any sense of safety and dragging us downhill, it constantly throws wrenches into any bit of healing we try to do so we’re sent back to square one and the whiteboard.

bigmouth strikes again, and i’ve got no right to take my place with the human race <- strikes again, gestures to what i wrote last paragraph, trauma arising but also our abusers are still in our lives and in the community so seeing them is… really fucking sucks! but there’s nothing we can do about it both from a legal standpoint and because they’re either family that we can’t leave or so valued by the town we live in that if i tried to say anything it’d be instantly ignored and seen as a disrespectful, false statement.

i’ve got no right to take my place with the human race. fingers twitching. as both a victim and a survivor of abuse(s) there’s such an immediate assumption of us being dangerous threats irreversibly and inevitably set on harming someone else and it’s so plain obvious in the way everyone steps away and squints at us with that expression every time we bring up the fact we endured csa and neglect. over and over again people treat us as if we’re leagues worse than our abusers since we, i don’t know, have the audacity to be alive and discuss our childhood, i guess??

and taking place with the human race. ha. ha ha. people ask why we’re so notably alterhuman and feel little to zero connection to humanity when. any closeness to humanity i had has been either been ripped from me or subsequently denied because we’re, once again gestures to last paragraph, seen and henceforth regarded as heartless monsters. why should i bother trying to redeem myself as a human worth loving or being in the presence of? i already know from the way they watch me from the corner of their eyes that i’m not.