#the way she could not POSSIBLY be more perfect for lottie

[tabithatwo]

Simone Kessell for Elle Canada by Patricia Karounos

[louisupdates]

INTERVIEW: Lottie Tomlinson: we lost our mum and sister. Louis saved me

At the age of 20, the sister of One Direction singer Louis had already lost her mother, Johannah, and sister Félicité. Now 25, the social media star has written a book about how they coped

Alice Thomson | Tuesday July 23 2024, 5.00pm BST, The Times

Losing Mum was so hard. I was only a teenager but at least I knew that her death was a possibility, even though she didn’t accept it. She was 47 and had cancer. But when my sister died three years later, I was on this hotel balcony in Bali and I was screaming, ‘No, my baby sister, no.’ The pain was indescribable. I kept thinking, ‘Why me? This can’t be happening again. When is this going to end?’ ”

We are sitting on Lottie Tomlinson’s immaculate white sofa in her pristine white house in Chislehurst, southeast London, where she is curled up in tiny shorts with a perfect tan and impeccably applied make-up. But her French manicured nails are digging so hard into the sofa I think they might snap, the heart tattoo on her minuscule wrist is throbbing and her eyelashes are clogged with tears.

Her life sounds blessed. The influencer has 4.8 million Instagram followers waiting for her to dispense advice on how to apply mascara; the fake tan brand, Tanologist, that she launched at 19 has gone global; and she has a devoted fiancé, Lewis Burton, who runs a luxury concierge business and whose former girlfriend was the late Caroline Flack. They have an adorable son called Lucky, who is dripping ice cream on her marble counters. Her new book is also called Lucky Girl; her older brother is Louis Tomlinson of One Direction and she was touring the world with the band as a make-up artist at 16.

But after her mother died when she was 18, Tomlinson was left looking after her younger sister and two sets of twin siblings, aged eight and two, while creating her businesses, and trying to process her grief. Her father had left their home in Doncaster years before after a battle with alcohol. “Dad had a drinking problem. We’d see glimpses of his good side but he let us down,” she says. “I ended up trying to take care of him rather than the other way round.”

When her mother died, life felt bleak, “I lost the one person who loved me unconditionally, and then when my sister Fizz [Félicité] died of an accidental overdose, I thought I could never be happy again,” she says. “I found the lead-up to Mother’s Day devastating without my sister as well. It was a constant reminder that I was now different from my friends. In my dreams, my mum was still there; she was alive. I woke up feeling comforted, only to realise that she’d gone.”

Tomlinson, who is now 25 and a patron of the bereavement charity Sue Ryder, moves easily between telling you how to apply the best tan and how to talk about death. She cares passionately about both subjects and takes them equally seriously, worried that I’ve never tried a bronzer or used foundation before asking how I coped when my mother died during the pandemic. Her soft Yorkshire accent is both reassuring and no-nonsense.

Born near Doncaster, she was only two when Fizz was born and six when the first twins arrived. “I’ve always been the big sister — Fizz and I each got one and then more twins six years later.” While Louis had his own space, the girls all shared one room with bunk beds. “It was chaos, but my mum, Johannah, was a midwife and loved being pregnant and having so many babies,” she explains. “I used to be in awe of the way she could feed the twins at once, one on each hip. She would do the night shifts, while I held the fort at home.”

Within a few years, Tomlinson would be touring America, Asia and Europe, flying first class with Louis, part of the biggest boy band in the world, but until she was 15, the family had only ever gone to France once a year all packed into a seven-seater car, with her mother’s new partner, snacks laid out in the middle. They stayed in a caravan park. On a Sunday, a treat was to go to their mother’s hospital to see the babies.

While Louis just wanted to sing, play the guitar and listen to Oasis, the girls were obsessed with make-up. “From the age of 12, I struggled academically, but I loved cropped clothes and my mum’s highlighters and mascaras.” She learnt how to apply everything from YouTube tutorials, rather than doing algebra. “We didn’t have much money — we sometimes couldn’t afford to top up the electricity meter so used candles — but everything my mum earned she spent on us. We all looked immaculate — I remember her being horrified when I dyed my hair orange. So it was lovely later when we could treat her.”

Saturday nights were spent watching The X Factor. “My mother and brother kept applying; in 2010, he got in and the whole family went for the audition. We believed in him, but we never thought it would go that far.” One day the family were going to the live shows, the next the boy band was formed with Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Liam Payne. “He was 18. For my mum it was a big shock. It was all so sudden. The press and fans were in our front garden every day.”

The older twins had already made their first TV appearances — they sound like Doncaster’s Von Trapps. “My mother was gently pushy,” Tomlinson says, smiling at the thought. “When I didn’t get good enough GCSEs to stay at school, she sent me off to join Louis on tour as work experience. I was so scared. I remember her ringing up Lou [Teasdale], their hair and make-up artist, and saying, ‘Lottie has not got through to sixth form; she’s going to come and assist you.’ I was in the car going, ‘No, please don’t.’ But it ended up being the best thing that happened to me. I went for a week and stayed two years. Lou and I are still so close.”

Suddenly, the two eldest Tomlinson children were circling the world, eating room service and ducking the paparazzi hanging out of helicopters taking snaps. “At first Louis didn’t really want his little sister gate crashing his new rock-star life, but now it feels like the best time of our lives — we experienced that craziness together,” she says.

The teenage Tomlinson found it harder to cope with being photographed wherever she went. “I had some puppy fat which made me very self-aware, and the filler culture was coming in and I felt I had to look perfect.” She had her lips done first at 17. “Then I became addicted: cheek filler, jaw filler, more make-up, blonder hair, slimmer and more tanned. My mum thought I looked perfect, but I was always searching.”

Five years later, when she became pregnant with Lucky and her lips started to swell and crack, she realised she didn’t need the enhancements any more. “I had everything removed, the false eyelashes too. It was liberating.” She kept her boob job, however. “That was just enhancement,” she says laughing. “The rest radically changed the way I looked. My breasts also got huge when I was pregnant and it was a bit painful. But I still breastfed. I loved carrying my child. I felt fantastic even when I was sick and exhausted.”

She leans forward, wraps her bronzed arms around her stomach and whispers, “I am pregnant again. We don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl. It’s only 13 weeks, so this is the first time I’ve said it publicly. I think I want a big family. I loved having Lucky but after a year I wanted to give him siblings.”

Tomlinson’s influencer career began once she established herself on tour. Soon everything she did, even dying her roots rainbow-coloured, went viral and fashion companies from Asos to Dior wanted in on it. “I was just going for it. I couldn’t believe the money I was making and spending — money I didn’t know existed as a child.”

Then suddenly her mum came home from holiday with flu. “She didn’t want to get out of bed. The doctors quite quickly told her she had leukaemia and she went straight to London for treatment. It all happened so fast. I remember being in London at work and getting a call from her partner — she couldn’t say the words herself, it was too hard for her.” The family were told it was treatable. “We kept so much hope.”

Her mother asked the family to keep her illness secret. “It was hard because you feel so isolated, but I understood. Louis was in the public eye and she didn’t want him questioned. She was determined to fight it and didn’t want everyone pitying her. My friends noticed I was acting differently for a few months. But I wanted to respect her wishes. It was her one request.”

She also dropped everything to go back to Doncaster to help her grandparents with the twins. “The younger ones were two and I wanted to keep everything as normal as possible. I can’t imagine what my mum was feeling leaving her kids to go to hospital.

“I would take them down and treasure seeing her — we tried to keep it light, no serious conversation. The only way Mum could cope was to keep it normal. Then, when the doctors said the transfusions hadn’t worked, she came home to die.”

Tomlinson tries to sound matter-of-fact. “We went to see her in hospital in Sheffield and the next morning we woke up and were told she had died. We felt numb. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. Now I am involved with the Sue Ryder charity, I am surprised we were offered no support or counselling at all, from the GP, the teachers, the professionals. They all kept away.” Her nan and grandad picked up the pieces.

It’s not surprising she can’t remember the funeral. “I just remember getting really drunk to numb the pain. I couldn’t come to terms with it. I can’t even remember how we organised it. My instinct was to take over as the eldest girl and step into my mum’s shoes so that is what I did.” Meanwhile, her older brother, who was launching his solo career, ensured there was enough money. “He’s incredibly generous. We looked after each other.”

Tomlinson returned to London months later, after her grandmother said she needed to become a role model for her siblings. Her younger sister Fizz worried her most. “She was very academic — she got straight A’s without trying — but she always said she felt different. She was bottling her grief for so long; it was too much and made her turn to other things. I think Mum’s death destroyed her. Only my mum seemed to understand her. If she had been offered some help at the start, things might have been different.”

Meanwhile, Tomlinson’s self-tanning brand was soon being sold in Los Angeles, New York and Australia, while her own fanbase grew; she hardly ever needed to pay for drinks, meals or holidays. However, she finds the term influencer obnoxious. “I don’t want to act like I tell people what to do. I am more of a content creator,” she explains. “I get paid by brands to create content for their clothes or beauty products and promote that to my followers. I also wanted my own business. I was quite aware that, at the end of the day, I was just working with an app. That’s why I started Tanologist with my business partner. I was always using tanning treatments that would end up turning my sheets orange and my face would break out in spots — this is more natural.”

Louis was also forging his career as a solo artist, eventually creating the song Two of Us about his mother’s death. “We were always so proud of Louis and what he was doing. We were not going to match up to being a global superstar, but we didn’t want to — ‘successful’ looks different for everyone,” she says.

But her sister Fizz was slipping and struggling. “She was old enough to do what she wanted at 19; she was partying and taking stuff to numb everything. She did go into rehab but to me it didn’t feel like an addiction problem, but a way to blank out her grief.” When Tomlinson was invited to Bali, she asked Fizz whether she wanted her to stay behind. “She said she was OK, and then it happened while I was away,” she says. (Fizz accidentally overdosed on cocaine, an anxiety drug and painkillers, her inquest found.) “Louis called me…” She stops talking.

The shock of a second death must have been devastating. She doesn’t speak for a minute while she twists her huge diamond engagement ring. “We weren’t mentally prepared,” she eventually says. “I can’t even remember if the two funerals were in the same church. I think grief has affected my memory a lot and that’s quite common. Grief is such a powerful emotion; it takes up a lot of your brain.”

Five years later, she now knows how to remain positive. “I had an amazing mum for 18 years. I have the most amazing family, my little boy and my career, and that is because of her. The same with Fizz — I had an amazing sister. It’s heartbreaking they aren’t with us any more, but they are together and they are looking out for me,” she says, sounding as though she is repeating a mantra.

Having a baby made her feel closer to them both. “He was a boy — it’s funny, he actually looks a lot like Louis did — and I thought, this is what my mother must have felt. But then I had so many questions I couldn’t ask, even more because she was a midwife.”

Her biggest problem was her terror that something terrible would happen to her son. “I became fixated [on the idea that] something bad would happen to him, so I couldn’t sleep. You go to the worst-case scenario, because that’s happened to you twice, to two of the closest people in your life. I couldn’t turn the lights off at night; I needed to see him all the time. Luckily, it calmed down quite quickly.”

We are still flitting between her story and advice on make-up, exercise and clothes.

“I like sharing advice. If a child lost their mother, I would say there is no magic answer. But the point of this book is to show that you can have tragic things happen and still keep going.”

What would the 25-year-old now say to her younger self, struggling at her second funeral at the age of 20? “I would say, ‘You are going to be OK; you will live a nice life.’ I didn’t think I could. I thought this will be a really sad, lonely life without my mum and sister. I wouldn’t have believed then that I could be happy again. But it would have been nice to hear.”

Lucky Girl by Lottie Tomlinson (Bonnier, £22). To order a copy go to timesbookshop.co.uk. Free UK standard P&P on orders over £25. Special discount available for Times+ members

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she love her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

ii. two: you felt so happy

the first ball, certainly one of the highlights of the season. it is indeed as grand as people have talked about. the lights, the decorations, the flowers, the performances—they were perfect. on top of that, loraine is a night person, which is why the ton should prepare for a doubled exuberance.

arriving a bit late than most other families who were so eager to catch a match for their offsprings, the silvas entered the hall together as raine compliments with awe.

"lady danbury's balls are always extraordinary, truly worthy of hosting the first of every season."

armand turned to her with an incredulous look, "agatha does not have balls."

she deadpanned at her father and discreetly whisper-yelled, "oh, heavens! stop trying to get us beheaded all the time!"

"it do makes me wonder why i haven't told the queen to behead you yet, armand." the host's voice engulfed them from behind. they both turned to her with a sheepish grin.

"lady danbury, it's a wonderful... ball." raine applaused after letting go of her father, "i must go and greet the queen."

she walked straight away, looking at armand one last time as she put both her fists up in shoulder level as if to cheer him on. the man could do nothing but offer a death smile to his daughter.

as rebellious as she is, raine is still of noble and respectful upbringing. we will not reveal that she did think twice if she should greet the queen or she can just go straight to the drinks. she did end up choosing to greet her. that is what matters, right?

and so she bowed gracefully to her. duty done. as she stood back up, with an utter pretentious smile, she was more than excited to make her way to the beverages.

"loraine," the queen called with familiarity and her steps halted, turning to her majesty once again. ah, so she's speaking as a family friend and not the queen.

"whatever is that sparkling on your leg?"

raine was confused for a moment, before she remembered what she could have possibly put their that was shiny. she turned back to her with a mischievous smirk.

"just an accessory, aunt lottie. it's a must-have."

she replied with full confidence, despite the fact that it is quite clearly shaped like a dagger. of course, it is an accessory. it can be considered as one, moreso that it is quite strapped on her.

she smiled dearly once again before curtsying to leave. as she was out on earshot, the queen turned to brimsley.

"i wish i had done that when i was young."

now that all is done, she cannot wait to taste what kind of drinks they serve during balls as she eagerly continues on her path to the beverages. she swiftly took a glass and sipped it with delight.

"you took the wrong glass. lemonade is here."

her eyes narrowed at that, hinting the arrival of a not-so-welcomed presence. the viscount bridgerton, with his wife and younger brother, joined her after spotting the young lady across the room.

"i can outdrink you."

"i'd like to see you try." kate slapped her husband's arm at the unnecessary challenge. kate is reasonably competitive. anthony? he's the most competitive at wrong times.

raine smirked at kate as the latter winked at her. she turns to the viscount, "i did not take you as someone who loves balls."

before he could answer, benedict interjected after taking a glass of his own, "he has two of them."

the eldest closed his eyes and sighed at the immature comment, "say that in front of her father if you think it's funny."

"oh, please don't. they'll both laugh for hours." she shuddered at the thought, just as the current dance ended.

anthony finished his glass as he looked at his wife for a while before turning to the two, "well, excuse us. i must take my wife to the dance floor."

he lead her to the dance floor without even waiting for their reply. raine scrunched her nose as benedict continues to sip on his own, leaning on the standing round table.

"anthony dances in these events?"

"only since last year, when he decided to actively participate in balls."

she immediately turned to him, mirroring the incredulous look her father had earlier, "why are you saying it like that?"

"why am i saying what like?" benedict turned to her as well, tilting his head and propping it on his palm.

"stop."

"balls?"

raine gave out a grumble, turning her attention back to her drink as the bridgerton laughed at her reaction. they both observed the ball with a comforting silence before benedict saw an interesting sight.

"your father is laughing. i must say, lord silva is really paradoxical."

her brow raised at the mention, "he always does. he just hates you, and don't say that word to him. he'll think it's a compliment."

"it is a compliment."

"it's not."

"wait, lord silva hates me?" upon realising the previous statement, he straightened his back.

the girl simply nodded as a grin made its way on her lips, "he thinks you put a love curse on me."

he dramatically placed a hand on his chest, "you are more likely to do that to me than i to you."

"you know me so well." she laughed as she raised her glass to him which he followed. upon the cue of the music ending once again, he gulped his drink, moving to her other side.

"i do hope you have not given away your very first dance to some other man."

she screamed, internally screamed, and she could almost not hold the grin that was aching to escape her lips, "hm? what ever do you mean to say?"

benedict chuckled, completely seeing through her. he moved to block her view of the dance floor, his left hand manly placed on the lumbar of his back as he offered the other in between them.

"loraine silva, may i be your first dance?"

she beamed at him, drinking the rest of her glass at once as she placed her own hand at the care of his.

"i thought you'd never ask."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

raine, as talkative as she is, could not find the confidence to do so at the moment. all she could think of was his hands, smell, and body. yes, she grew up with them, but she had never danced with this man in front of her before.

anthony, yes, when he did a poor attempt to cheer her up—which ended up successful because he looked ridiculous. colin, yes, when he offered to be her dance partner as she was practicing after classes. but benedict? she has never even saw the man dance.

so, currently in their second dance, she finally found her voice, "can i just say, i feel so happy i could die."

he laughed as he twirled her, "you have said that a thousand times before."

"genuinely this time." raine intimately uttered as she looked at him in the eye.

"also," she added, continuing with a charming smirk after another twirl, "ever thought of marrying me?"

he narrowed his eyes with a smirk of his own at her, "oh, you opportunistic minx."

"that one i'll gladly take as a compliment." raine proudly grinned, pushing further, "so?"

"let me think," he acted as if he was thinking deeply on the answer before turning back to her, "no."

raine gave a mocked sigh, chuckling right after, "a girl can only try."

the pair continued to dance, sneaking chats and gossips with laughter as they do so. with the music ending, he leads her off of the dance floor.

"well, what must i do now?" she said, now back with the beverages.

"dance, drink, have fun! just as there's no shortage of ladies, men too."

raine groaned at the mention of other bachelors, "ugh, i don't want to dance with other men."

benedict smiled at her adamant refusal of them, "darling, a ball is thrown to socialise."

"i'll socialise with you then."

"we have, for fourteen years already."

she smiled mischievously again, "are you counting?"

he pinched her right cheek as he proceeded to make faces, as if talking to a child, "it's simple mathematics." he laughed as she swatted his hand, standing straight up again.

"for one, you could save your father from lady townbridge. i doubt you'd like her for a mother."

raine groaned once again as the bridgerton boy bid his farewell, "ugh, i don't even like her as a person."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the young silva wandered around the ball, trying to find another source of fun. for some time, she stood near lady blackstow and lady vaughan, eavesdropping for a juicy gossip, but all she learned was their husbands' unhygienic activities. she tried to engage with others, hopping from person to person, but could not find them entertaining.

so, when she heard quite the laughter and cheers from the opposite side of a door, she did not even think twice to open it.

"well, what do we have here?" raine, with the largest grin ever, whispered to herself in joy.

the room was a heaven for her. it was full of things she finally deem as fun. there were people playing billiards on her left, cards on the other, drinking at the front, and—that's a familiar face.

"raphael! i didn't know you came back from duty." she greeted as she walked towards the man playing cards, tipping her head to the others surrounding the table as greetings.

the said man turned to the her with a surprised look, "lor—what are you doing here?"

"i'm a debutante?"

"no—" he paused at the misunderstanding, "like here."

"oh, i'm..." she began with a smile before turning to look around the place with more attention, "oh."

there were no women present. not a single strand of lengthy hair. nevertheless, she believe it was not a problem at all, turning back to the table with an excited smile.

"and she pulled up a seat." raphael muttered as the girl inserts a chair in between.

"how come no one told me there's a place like this in a ball?!"

the man placed his palms on his face, whisper-yelling right after, "general's going to kill me!"

"enjoy your remaining time then." raine laughed at his exaggeration as the other men began a new round, "now, watch me beat you all."

and she did! they've been at it now for four rounds. the men, varying in ages, wondered if they should be amazed or insulted by her.

"suck it up, boys." she whispered mockingly to raphael with a teasing smile.

however, her smile and his annoyance were quickly changed with a panic look as he noticed the clock hitting ten. he immediately rushed for raine to took cover on the opposite end of the table, a blind spot from the door.

"general." he greeted with a salute as the said man did arrive on the dot.

"raphael, it's a ball." he reminded, easing the younger one from the salute, "have you seen loraine?"

"loraine?" he awkwardly laughs, which is not helping the situation at all, "no, sir."

"notify leo and—" her father's voice was fading away as he and raphael walked outdoor.

as she stayed still and kept her gaze in front of her, she noticed a familiar head across the room, staring at her with a dumbfounded look. anthony mouthed at her, "what in the hell are you doing?"

on the other hand, as raphael has led the higher-ranking officer in a private corner, he spoke in a hushed voice, "loraine is inside, sir."

the general closed his eyes to compose himself, the activities of his daughter can be quite infuriating at times, "i suppose that's better, isn't it?" he asked as he puff on his cigar before continuing, "keep an eye on her. ford and smith will keep me updated."

raphael nodded, taking in the order as armand exhaled the smoke before walking away,

"and stop playing cards. she'll beat you all."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

"is father away?" raine asked, raphael affirming. she moved her seat to make room for the latter.

"come, the viscount is betting."

the table has gotten bigger in his return, with the bridgerton son joining them. he offered a hand to shake which the viscount took firmly. he greeted, "raphael montague, pleased to be of acquaintance."

anthony's brows raised at that inquiringly, "you don't happen to be the raphael, do you?"

"how do you mean?"

"oh, lan—" he held his tongue, just realising what he was about to say. he regained his composure with a light cough, "you were mentioned a couple of times in passing."

raine rolled her eyes, "you can say his name, you know. it's not a curse."

raphael replied to the other man with a chuckle, "i hope only the good things."

anthony laughed, remembering a story, "the grenade?"

"oh, please no." he held his head down with a short laugh.

the young silva clapped as another round was about to start, "less talking, more playing, gentlemen."

the round started fiercely, but luck seemed to be on raine's side for the night as she has been getting a good hand. as the rest revealed their set of cards, a cheering and smug raine and an annoyed raphael and anthony are what's left of the round. a tap on the viscount's shoulder distracted him.

"anthony, here you are. mother is—what are you doing here?"

"why is everyone asking that?" raine crossed her brows in annoyance, "you said i should have fun."

benedict turned to her completely from his brother, "this is not what i meant."

"i am having fun."

he laughed mockingly, "do you even play well?"

at the question, groans can be heard as the men were reminded of themselves losing. raine, however, was as pleased as she can be.

"anyone you see here has lost to me."

he rolled his eyes as he shrugged it off, "that's because they've had a drink."

"try it yourself, bridgerton." a man chuckled and voiced it out as a challenge.

the younger bridgerton turned to him smoothly, "you're not going to manipulate me into—"

"scared?"

raine taunted, she knew benedict so well.

"never."

he stated as the older bridgerton stood up and patted his brother's shoulders before leaving for their mother's call.

"what should we wager?" she asked, leaning back on the seat.

"if i win, you won't go into gentlemen's clubs anymore."

her lips formed a thin line at that, yet she slowly nodded, "agreeable."

"inside or outside of the balls."

raine jerked from her seat at once, "that's too much."

now, it's benedicts turn to lean back with a smirk, "i'm going to tell your father."

she likes him dearly, really. but, an irritated look manifested on her features, "alright, you're going to play like this, benedict?"

always with a flair for theatrics, she acted as if rolling her invisible sleeves before placing her wager on the table.

"if i win, you're going to marry me."

his eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing again, seemingly finding the words to say, "that is what's too much."

"these gentlemen are witnesses, ben." she gestured with ease to the men now surrounding their table.

"you are insane."

"only for the things i love, darling."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

"lady silva lost."

a man declared as the rest are still in silence. the game was close, so utterly close that they were about to get their wives or inform their mothers of a wedding happening soon. however, as they were nearing the end, the silva girl made a huge error, costing her the chance to marry the object of her affections and the object of her fun.

"okay, but including within balls like this is too much, ben. this is the only entertaining thing in these events!" the gradual change of her tone from acceptance to whining in just two sentences was astounding.

"these gentlemen are witnesses, raine."

she blew out an exasperated breath at the smugness of the man sitting opposite her. she was about to retort when a voice from a man near the door announced.

"lord silva is coming!"

she hurriedly stood up, aiming for the door that would lead directly outside the mansion, to the gardens. raine turned back to them with a grin, saluting to them all with a hint.

"boys, i'll put in a good word to the ladies."

she departed the room just before her father's imposing figure arrived from the other door with a curious brow raised.

"why are you all so tense?"

outside, raine put a hand on a pillar to support herself as she catch her breath. her father's giving her so much exercise these days that she cannot wait for him to return to duty.

"we always seem to be escaping from your father." the young lady jumped in surprise with a hand on her chest at the voice, calming as she saw who it was.

"ben? what are you doing here?"

"well, what was i supposed to do? let you run off on your own? this late at night?" he lightly rubbed her back and asked in a mocking tone, as if pointing out the obvious.

"you know what, you are paradoxical." she stood straight again, lifting her hand from the pillar as she's getting her breath back, "you do things like this but you will not marry me."

benedict raised both his arms as if in surrender, "i am simply caring for you, like anthony and colin do. they would have done the same had they been in my position now. that does not equate to marriage."

"we're unchaperoned." she easily pointed out again, looking at him directly now.

"well—" the bridgerton began, racking his brain on what to say in his defense. he turned to raine yieldingly.

"it really is not a compliment."

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis

[lotties-ashwagandha]

DREAMS

kinktober day whatever the fuck it is — thigh riding and wet dream — lottie matthews x fem!reader bc even tho i try writing gn reader i cant handle not writing “good girl” because it makes me so it so i just i just cant cope — this is possibly my best smut but it’s not proofread

You lowered down onto her thigh, moaning. Her bare skin on your core sent you almost into hysterics. It felt so good, she was sucking bruises onto your neck, and the string of praises she whispered into your ear every time you moaned was like the blessings of god given over and over in the gentle tone of her voice.

“So good for mommy,” she purred, “you’re so beautiful like this, look at the mess you’re making on mommy’s thigh.”

You moaned, looking down, and—

Your eyes fluttered open, and you were faced with the devil of the sun coming in through the curtains. You were a bit disoriented for a moment, the contents of your dream so real in your mind that it took you a moment to figure out that all of it had been a dream.

“Fuck,” you whispered, barely audible, rolling over from your side onto your back. You wanted it to have been real so bad, it had been so perfect.

You looked beside you. Lottie was still asleep, facing you on her side. You watched her closely, she was so gorgeous even in sleep, her dark hair perfectly splayed over her shoulders. She’d slept naked, both of you had after the night you’d had together before, and your eyes couldn’t help but wander to what was visible of her chest above the blankets.

Her eyes fluttered open and you looked away, feeling your cheeks grow warm as embarrassment crept up your chest. You didn’t have wet dreams often, and when you did you certainly didn’t tell anyone about them, and you knew how guilty you probably looked watching her sleep.

“Morning,” she said softly, and a smile tugged at your lips.

“Morning,” you said, a bit more awkward than you would’ve liked. Visions from your dream kept running through your mind uncontrollably, and you could only imagine how wet you were.

“You okay?” She asked, scooting closer to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. “Were you watching me sleep?” She asked, her tone playful.

“No, just for a second, but no, not really,” you said, stumbling through your answer.

“What were you thinking about?”

You didn’t respond, sighing and shaking your head.

“Tell me,” she said, teasing you, a mischievous smile staining her lips. Her hand ran up and down your bare abdomen, distracting you.

“Lottie,” you protested, still embarrassed.

“What, baby? You weren’t so shy last night, were you?” She asked, trailing her hand over the hickeys covering your neck and chest. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

After a moment you relented. “You were in my dream,” you said quietly, claiming her full attention.

“Yeah? What was I doing?”

You bit your lip, hesitating again.

“Oh,” she said, realizing. She sat up, straddling your hips, and your breath hitched. “So dirty, dreaming about me fucking you. What was I doing to you, gorgeous?”

“I was on your thigh,” you admitted, and while you were still a bit embarrassed there was a morbid satisfaction that came from your humiliation in retelling the dream to her as she straddled you naked, looming over you like a goddess. “You were telling me how good I was, how pretty I was…”

“Yeah? You like being a good little slut for mommy, don’t you?”

You nodded, hands falling to her thighs as she leaned down to kiss you. She was intoxicating, and every time she kissed you it overcame every one of your senses completely. She owned you in every way and you loved it, you lived off it.

She pulled away, suddenly moving off of you. A bit confused, you whined, watching as she sat back against the headboard.

“Come here, baby,” she said, patting her lap.

Your heart did flips in your chest, and the adrenaline of it pooled between your legs, your clit throbbing.

You straddled her lap, pulling her into a kiss, one of her hands weaving into your hair as she adjusted her leg and moved you to hover above her thigh.

“Look at me,” she ordered, and you met her gaze as she grabbed your hips and lowered you down onto her thigh. “Keep your eyes on me, I want to see how pretty you look when you ride my thigh.”

You moaned, eyes trained on her as you began to grind on her thigh. Any thoughts about the dream you’d had disappeared, for this was so much better, and nothing could replicate or replace the feeling of you slipping on her thigh, the friction so perfect but still not quite enough to get you to cum.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet,” she purred, flexing her thigh, and you moaned. “Making such a mess for mommy, aren’t you?”

“Mommy, please…” you whined, and quickened your pace, not entirely sure what you were asking for but knowing that you needed something. It wasn’t enough, you needed her to touch you, to fuck you until you were in tears.

“‘Please,’ what, sweet girl?”

“I need you to touch me,” you breathed, “it’s not enough, I can’t…”

Lottie shook her head, hands clamping your hips as she guided you on her thigh. “Yes you can, love. This is what you wanted, hm? You dreamed about it all night, baby, and you woke up so desperate for it, so now you’re going to be a good girl and ride mommy’s thigh until you cum.”

You moaned, nodding. You would always do what she wanted, any will of your own went out the window when she called you her good girl, when she dangled the promise of euphoria just out of your reach.

You rode her harder, trying desperately to catch your release but it evaded you. You whined, your head dropping to the crook of her neck, and her hand came up to your back, holding you against her as you continued to chase your orgasm.

“You’re doing so good for me, princess,” she praised. “Keep going, baby, I know you’re so close.”

You whimpered, keeping your pace but you were tired, and you were so focused on the pleasure overcoming you that the rhythm of your hips became erratic and every time you came close to release you lost it.

Without warning Lottie flipped you over. You gasped when she slipped two fingers into you, the heel of her hand rubbing against your clit. She murmured praises into your ear but you could hardly hear them, the sound of her voice and the feeling of her fingers inside of you getting you to the edge again.

“Cum for me, pretty girl,” she whispered, and you came undone, your back arching off the bed as your orgasm rushed over you in a wave. You moaned, hips jerking into her hand as you rode it out, so much better than anything you could have dreamed up.

When it finally passed, you slumped into the pillows, wrapping your arms around her. Lottie kissed you gently, pulling you to lay on top of her, your head resting on her chest and one of your legs thrown over her hips. You were so tired, you’d only woken up a little while ago, and looking at the clock you hadn’t realized how early it was.

“Get some rest, my darling,” Lottie said softly, and after a moment a mischievous smirk passed over her lips. “In a few hours, maybe you’ll have dreamed up something else for us to try.”

———

A/N: i really hope i just murdered the sapphics with this one im pretty proud of it lmk what u thought love u my whores

[louisisalarrie]

Preface with I don’t believe Louis is a dad.

But in response to the anon that suggested a possible way to end bbg. The issue I see with this suggestion is that they would have had to have found out that F was not Louis’ child before J passed for Lottie’s comment to still be true. During this time F was still very young and keeping up the act for his sake doesn’t make as much sense.

Phew, this ended up being my first long post in a while. Anon, welcome to the show!!

So, I think that’s the original way they were going to end bbg in the first place, right? Before J passed, she deleted all photos of F off her Instagram account which is suss as fuck, you know? So the general theory is that it was meant to end around then, then louis was coping with the passing of J, and he didn’t wanna deal with this stunt BS. it just… was gonna be such a huge thing to go through with a bunch of media, while he was grieving and obviously going through a rough time.

So it didn’t end. It just kept rolling through and they kinda ignored it for a bit. But then the reappearance of the kid, I guess, was to keep up appearances until they could just end it when the time was right. But he also didn’t want this to overshadow all the work he was putting in to releases and tours and albums that he had planned. Because, as much as it’s good for it to end (I assume they’ll put a positive spin on louis for it) publicity wise, it would be such a shock to the world and the fandom that it would just overshadow so much. And we all know how hard he’s working on his music and being known for being an artist, after years of stunting and being known for his “relationships”. He values his music and wants to do that over anything.

You could argue that it would push his name out there for more sales, prior to the releases and tours, which it would, but it ultimately will overshadow those releases AND not to mention it will mean he’s going to be on his tomlins-own again, truly upset about the news that it’s not his kid, and will therefore not be okay enough to perform/be releasing music. So it fits to be done at a time where he’s on break, which he will be after festival season, and it’s the perfect time for people to “respect his privacy while going through this hard time” and creates a good comeback story for a new single/album release when it happens. It makes the most sense this way and keeps his name in the papers and a positive spin on him. The end of this year is the perfect time. I hope it happens.

Anyway, more to your point here anon, is that the above only works if he’s found out recently. Now, this news is going to be everywhere, and the general public truly don’t really know about Lottie’s comment or the messy timeline in AOTV and all that bbg stuff. It’s predominantly all fandom chat, and so they could still spin it as fresh without questioning from the general public. But, no matter what they do with it and how the announcement is made and what louis says or a “close source” to him in the paper when it’s happening, it’s gonna not line up to us one way or another.

I mean, his team, along with Harry’s, are focusing so much more on the wider spread of publicity now, that it’s not about convincing us anymore. How many things do we still talk about as weird and messy that happened 10 years ago? Including all the wild bbg stuff? We were loud and caught interest from some GP folks that did end up becoming a larrie or questioning it or whatever, but the GP moves on quick to the next article or big thing and just aren’t as invested in this as we are. They’re not picking up on the little things or keeping up to date. So, yeah.

Anyway, I have a few theories on how this all will end, and I don’t think they’ll be entirely clear with us as it is. But it’s not about us anymore. Back in the day, of course it was - because of all the shit we picked up on in the band, and how loud we were and our investigations and proof etc., they always went the extra mile to prove shit to us too. But this’ll be pretty generalised and they know we’ll just be happy that it’s over. That’s all that matters.

So, yeah. I think it’s been long enough since he’s had the kid that there will be a custody battle of sorts while he doesn’t tour and then she demands him to get a PT and then hooooopefully this is over. I’m still holding out hope. But I think it’ll be just as messy when it ends as when it began.

Thanks anon!!

[theartsanityshoppe]

Doodle dump! New outfit designs, and a possible? idea for an older Blossom. I can't decide if I want her to get a fully anthropomorphic body, like her mother, or stay in the fish bowl, as she gets older.

TOP ROW

First and Second images, left/middle: Just some cute doodles of Lotti in more outfits, most of which I find randomly online.

Third image, right: A concept that I'm not in love with for Lotti's coworker/family member. He's a major conspiracy theorist, like her, but in a very different way? She's all about possible crimes or evil-doings in the city that are usually a bit more plausible, where as he's more all about aliens and the supernatural. He doesn't REALLY believe this stuff though, he just likes to piss her off and counter her theories with crazy ones. [Think like he's if Shane was more into the supernatural aspect of mysteries, but Ryan was the one who was all about it making perfect logical sense from Watcher]

---

MIDDLE ROW

First image:

A concept for if I gave Blossom a full body. I personally love it.

Second image: More doodles of what Blossom could look like at different ages. The top images would be her around 12-ish? While the bottom has her more like 20-ish.

Alt text reads as such: Childhood hat + smaller braids, no longer needs buddle, has a tail. // No braids now, childhood hat is too small now, move eye lashes, fancy dress time! Usually still in overalls. Bigger tail.

---

BOTTOM ROW

First image: Just some ideas for more outfits for Zami. As a world famous E-Girl, with a MASSIVE following, she needs lots of different looks! Also I'm not longer that in love with her current on haha.

Second image: Some more designs for Zami, as well as me trying to slightly redesign an old character for Neo as well.

Alt text reads: Head phones - need to cover ears, main outfit, nails, tiny amount of belly/no belly button, light purple, dark purple, short + black. // Monica - needs to look older but ??? [honestly I can't read that word myself hahaha] - just using her old design.

[callslips]

TRANSMASC! NAT x TRANSFEMME! LOTTIE HCS

(sorry anon, accidentally deleted your ask </3)

*noted this is written from a tboy perspective but i will do my girlie lot justice! *the nsfw portion will be tagged at the end as a pwp transmac x transfemme lottienat AO3 fic :>

SFW HCS

absolute favorite has to be nat, even after four+ months on T, being such a baby about shots and asking lottie to do them for him (which she obviously says yes to every time)

lot in solidarity offers to let nat do hers, instructs him carefully, and then soon they're just doing each others HRT shots and cuddling afterwards in the ensuing gender euphoria of it all

lot's HRT won't give her a cycle and it'll make her dysphoric while she's also dealing with all the hormones still occurring, nat would be the doting bf affirming her in the ways he can the whole time - "baby, you're so pretty. such a pretty girl." and doing all the things you'd normally do - making sure she eats well, giving her extra attention, chocolates, kisses all over her face to show how loved she is, and checking in on her frequently in case she needs extra love and attention

nat gets top surgery while they're dating and lot takes care of him the whole time, reassures him even when he feels a little silly for whining about any pain or having to wear the bandages and gives him loads of kisses and compliments when he finally takes the binder off, mindful of the fact she still has to be careful but obsessed with touching his now-flat chest especially since he's so happy about it.

whenever nat is feeling dysphoric lottie will tell him how handsome he is while playing with his hair/running her fingers along his top surgery scars/playing with the happy trail on his stomach until all he can do is laugh and pull her in for kisses

nat gets to over 8 months on T and his voice has fully deepened, lot's voice has gotten higher on E and they're both like - somehow even more attracted to each other than they were before dksjks. phone calls even though they just left each other's apartments just to hear each other's voices, nat sending husky voice notes in the morning because he knows they drive lottie crazyyyy. lot's voice being so cute to nat that sometimes conversations are like - "babe, i literally just explained this to you." and nat's like, "i know. can you say it again though? i just love hearing you talk."

nat's HRT giving him that *slutty* male waist and allowing him to bulk a bit, lot literally can't keep her hands off him or stop bragging about how handsome "my man" is or using every possible moment to say "my guy" or "my boyfriend" (nat is even worse about calling lot "my girl", making it extremely clear to all his dudebros that lot is HIS,, but we won't get into it, possessive nat is for another time)

likewise lottie's HRT making her gain weight in her hips and chest and nat being like, insanely obsessed with this. could not keep his hands off of her if he tried and even then lot wouldn't want him to, grinning every time nat squeezes at the plush of her waist or kisses her stomach, telling her she's "so perfect, so beautiful. how'd i get so lucky?"

literally the most wholesome relationship ever, like they go clothes shopping together and tell each other which outfits look so pretty or so handsome

the height difference doesn't even bother nat because having a tall gf just means her skirts show even MORE of her legs (he has an obsession there as well) and when they cuddle he can just starfish on top of her while she plays with his hair and gives him little affirmations

probably could go on and on but i hope you enjoyed :,)

NSFW TRANSMASC! NAT X TRANSFEMME! LOTTIE A03 FIC LINK:

this was written on anon so i'm kind of defeating the purpose by posting it but only a few of you have my tumblr soooo

[sancastarcs]

let's talk about taissa turner and her place in the yellowjackets hierarchy. she is the leader, the strategist, the logistic one. she was the voice of reason in both seasons ( along with nat and jackie), the person that goes against lottie's mythology and religion and visions believing that everything comes down to logic. Both in pre crash and in 2021 timeline, we see her as calculated and motivated, but also kind of aggravated when things don't go their way, determined to do things her OWN way to fix the problems in her life ( her wanting to put allie out so the yj could have more chances at winning / her choosing to continue her campaign even though sammy was not good mentally). But throughout the show, we see her to actions of kindness and love and support towards the rest of the cast. The way she loves Van, her taking care of Shauna in every possible way, the way she cherishes Sammy, protecting Nat in 2021 and always putting into rehab, even small things such as taking the lead for the yellowjackets to go from the airplane to the lake and later wanting to leave the house to find help even if that meant she went alone. Taissa who seemed to everyone else as a perfect politician and srtategist but she actually is very scared mentally and sleepwalks. Taissa who loved football more than anyone in the team and the one who hasn't even say anything about it in 2021. Taissa who seemed mean in the pilot but showcased her heart not even for minutes in episode 2. Taissa who is beautiful, who loves Van unconditionally, who is a terrible absent mother that loves her kid and put her ex in a comma. just... let's think about taissa turner for a minute.

[marinerainbow]

I have a Roo thought for you 😅😅😆

Imagine the Roo's dressing up as the Lion King's Hyena trio for Halloween XD Rena is obviously Shenzi and she & King (as Banzai) get totally into it; are making dumb jokes and cackling all night, while Ryan's Ed is just completely uncharacteristically silent and scowly, drinking whiskey or something XD

What Disney henchmen/or/sidekicks do you think your WFRR OC's might dress up as for Halloween? XD

(*cough* Lottie would turn up as full-on Scar.)

I need you to know that I literally squealed when I saw this notification. ROO THOUGHTS!!!

Oh my god XDDD yes. I love this. This is probably the one time King actually chose to get specially dressed up for the night XD I need Ryan being all grumpy in his hyena outfit watching his sister and in-law make fools of himself XD (if Maya was still around, she could have been Zazu? Or one of the background hyenas so Ryan won't be alone ^^ XD) And Lottie showing up as Scar is PERFECT!

Ohhh which sidekicks my OC's would dress up as?? Hm...

Ben: Doesn't dress up for Halloween in general, so I can't see him making an exception here. He's such a spoil sport (though, I do imagine him dressing up as The King of Hearts, even if he's not exactly a sidekick).

Henry: oh Henry would absolutely dress up as Honest John or Br'er Fox. C'mon, it's right there!!! He can laugh about the irony XD I can also see him pulling off Sir Hiss' outfit (even though it's just a hat and cloak XD), possibly the Sheriff of Nottinham? Might be too flashy for him though 🤔 (how would Rena react to Henry dressed up so handsomely like John or the Sheriff? 😏)

Moony: I can also see him wearing the Sheriff' royal garb- except he'd bring more muscle to the look XD KRONK!!! He could pull off a Kronk costume!! He's got a similar build to the guy anyway. Ohh he could be one of Captain Hook's pirates, too! Or maybe Scroop. It'd be easy, that alien only wears a cap and a vest. Moony can do that~ 😏

Poppy: I can actually totally see her dressing up as LeFou- either version. She'd look cute in the little French man's suit, I bet ^^ she could also pull off a Sir Hiss look, too! And with how small she is, it could look like those adorable designs of tiny characters with big and wide cloaks!! 🥹 ohh maybe she and Shiny can dress up as Anastasia and Drizella?

Shiny: Ok technically Pixar isn't the same as Disney, but Shiny would pull off Ken's outfits, with Barbie's spunk! It doesn't help that I've imagined her interrogating/torturing Greasy the same way Barbie does Ken XDD (also Shiny would be caught wearing her heels through her disguise, even if it's an astronaut suit XD). She also has soooo many burlesque outfits with feathers and fur; she can put her own spin on the animal sidekicks, such as Diablo or the Cheshire Cat (I am terrified of the prospect of a sexy Iago costume 😭)

Terry: Jasper and Horace. But they're so close enough to his style, everyone assumes he's just dressed as normal XD bro has to explain his own costume 🥲

If the weasels can count; Shiny is absolutely putting her own spin on Greasys suit (an open buttoned blouse instead of a pink tie, for one 😏), Moony can be Stu, he's the only one who can wear the shirt and carry the bat comfortably XD Henry called dibs on Smartass' suit, so Poppy wears Psycho's straightjacket (it looks comfy so she'd be happy either way. But I also think she could pull off SA's suit). Terry can be Wheezy, and Ben can be one of the deleted weasels XD

Thank you for asking! This was fun to think about!! ^^

[theivydorms]

ROSEWOOD RENAISSANCE READATHON DAY TWO (part one)

THIS IS YOUR SPOILER WARNING and yappuccino warning, im yammering on quite a bit

the way I was immediately able to relate to Lottie recognising car brands from hanging around a boy was insane from the first time I read it to now

"she was not like the other students" Eleanor not like other girls Prudence Wolfson we love you

BINAH MY FAVOURITE WALKING PILE OF BOOKS

Lottie calling Binah "tiny owl girl" then Binah's next words being "fledgling" is beyond perfection and yet another example of connie's writing prowess

the first few times I read UP I would spend ages to trying to see if I could work out what "idiopathic craniofacial erythema" meant but now I know that I will no longer understand science words since getting a C at Nat 5 physics and running from the science department like my life depended on it

if someone has drawn, is going to draw, or has seen art of the archway with the engraved copper portraits of the founder PLEASE LMK! ID LOVE TO SEE IT

I do love the prominent inclusion of twins throughout the series as a twin myself BUT THE FACT THEYRE ALL SO OFTEN LUMPED TOGETHER MAKES ME JUST A LIL ANNOYED. were Shray and Sana attached physically at the hip? why would they both have founded one thing? I dont get it but I do appreciate it cant lie and ofc the parallels to the Tompkins twins!

I for some reason just got like whiplash from Lottie introducing herself as Charlotte to Binah - I think that might be the only time she introduces / refers to herself personally as Charlotte? like the "y" sound at the end of name and the soft L sound at the start just make so much more sense for from just a oration aspect

"If she’d only known in that moment the domino effect those words would have."

QUESTION ( I know Lottie was tired and overwhelmed but) do English people genuinely think about their counties so often that they'd possibly assume someone asked if they were FROM ANOTHER COUNTY? WHILE AT AN INTERNATIONAL BOARDING SCHOOL? like im Scottish and I think about the area im from like regularly but if I thought someone asked me if I was from another county / shire / area I would be wondering why the hell they would be asking that so specifically

honestly iconic and hilarious of Binah to add "she's international" when introducing Lottie

OKAY IVE BEEN TALKING TOO LONG - chapter four and hopefully five will been in a separate part!

[misty-caligula]

S2E7

S2E8

Well, which is it, Lottie?

This is what I’ve been saying, exactly. Lott’s the most unreliable leader they could’ve possibly chosen, because she does not have a consistent grip on what It wants, it changes all the time. It’s not bad writing or whatever, it’s that she’s literally delusional. She’s absolutely confident in her perception of It at all times, and doesn’t realise that she’s being inconsistent. And what’s really worrying is that the rest of them don’t seem to notice it either.

Also the absurdity of the situation, Shauna’s killed Adam, Tai’s killed her dog and hurt her wife, Misty’s killed Jessica, Natalie almost killed herself, Van’s dying, and Lottie thinks she can solve all this death with... more death? How exactly? The REASON they killed Javi, the reason they hunted Nat, pit girl and who knows how many others, the reason they ate Jackie, was because they needed FOOD. LIFE. PHYSICAL, not spiritual, sustenance. They were solving death with death only in the way that we solve death with death every single day by eating in the food chain, if you took your food and killed it and then let it just rot you’d be solving nothing.

This isn’t a bug though, it’s a feature. The concept that they never really left the wilderness has been a recurring one all season, and here they are, putting it all together again. They’ve really never been able to reintegrate into society at all, none of them. This is where they’ve always belonged. And the only solutions they learned for their problems are ... insufficient. Self destructive. To the outside world they seem bizarre and nonsensical, to the ‘jackets they’re intuitive and familiar. And they DO argue, to an extent, but only to an extent. Almost like they feel like they are expected to argue, but their hearts aren’t really in it.

Because Lottie’s right. They DID survive last time. And they can’t say with any level of certainty that it wasn’t because of the Wilderness. That It didn’t hold them there and keep them safe, and follow them home and that It isn’t now hungry after being starved for 25 years. On the surface they do a pretty good job of pretending to be rational-minded, solid individuals. But you scratch that even the smallest amount and underneath they’re still free-falling, still absolutely adrift and just begging for the kind of certainty that It used to bring them.

I think this is a foreboding line. I think that IF they do go ahead and drink (I think there’s a 50/50 chance they do) that Lottie’s probably going to have the poison. I could be surprised on this, but that’s my gut instinct.

As a show that’s largely about trauma and the way that it follows you around your whole damn life, I think this framing is damn near perfect. Going through traumatic experiences - especially long, drawn out trauma, particularly while you grow up - teaches you how to live in a traumatic situation. It teaches you how to survive, how to subsist. It doesn’t teach you at all how to be healthy, how to thrive, how to be happy. Only how to not die. And it doesn’t teach you truth or stability, only what your pattern-seeking brain seems to suggest is working, and then in a life-or-death situation you just hold onto what’s working as tightly as you fucking can. You can’t evaluate it, can’t test it, you don’t have the space or the stability, you just clutch it like driftwood on the ocean.

Then, when you’re older, and you’re trying to live your life in a safer, calmer space, all you have to go on are these maladaptive behaviours and inside you’re just this scared kid forever, still clutching tight to them, because you know what it’s like to drown, and you just KNOW that the moment you let go the water’s coming back, you just KNOW it. Even when they hurt you, even when they’re actively dragging you down, killing you and causing damage to everything you care about, it’s SO hard to let go and trust that you can learn new ways to live, that you can let It go, that It won’t come looking for It’s pound of flesh.

I think that, deep down, every one of these women believed they’d find themselves back here one day. Back in this room, back in this circle, doing the sacrifice thing once more. I think that deep deep down none of them are really putting up a fight because none of them are really genuinely surprised. They never really bought that they ever got away in the first place.

[madamebaggio]

Notes: After a looooooooong and dark winter... Guess who's here?

lol

I hope you like it!

Previously...

***

Chapter 4

So… Lothíriel had a crush. She didn’t blame herself for it, it’d seemed inevitable.

But yeah… It had the potential to be a bit awkward, but she thought she’d be fine. Éomer was leaving soon, so there was that.

She hadn’t expected to feel such a strong attraction to the man. Sure, he was good looking and all, but she knew many good looking men. There was something about him that was just… Really delicious.

Like she really wanted to climb that man like a tree, ride him like a stallion, have his babies or whatever.

She didn’t understand it. She was not that girl, the one that got crushes regularly.

Lothíriel was careful in relationships for many reasons: her brothers were annoyingly overprotective, her family had a lot of money and she’d been painfully naive as a teenager.

She was a romantic and she wanted the whole fairy tale deal, however, she’d learned that some things do require careful consideration. As much as she wanted to get married -she had the whole ceremony planned -and have children -three and she knew the names already -she also knew that nothing of this would happen by magic. Lothíriel didn’t want to just be married with a family; she wanted to love and be loved.

And she wasn’t saying she’d fallen head first in love with Éomer that very night, but the intensity of the attraction she’d felt was kind of weird.

Anyway… It meant nothing. Crushes came and went, and she wasn’t 15 anymore. Maybe she’d liked him because he was good-looking and new, because he’d offered her a handkerchief like a perfect gentleman, because he was tall and kinda rugged and he did look like he could pick her up and…

Right. She should stop thinking about what he could do with those arms of his. It wasn’t helping at all.

Colonel barked at her and she sighed. “You’re right. I’m being silly.” She turned back to the mirror to finish up her makeup.

They had a dinner -this time really for family only -with Éomer and Éowyn that night. They were supposed to leave back to Edoras the next morning.

Faramir was probably freaking out and trying to figure out if it was too early to ask Éowyn to marry him. She knew her cousin was crazy about the woman, so it was killing him to say ‘goodbye’ like this.

Lothíriel gave him a month before he made his way to Edoras. Amrothos thought it’d take a week.

Lotty put on her mother’s pearl necklace -she always wore it when she felt like she needed more confidence -and applied her lipstick.

It was one dinner with Éomer and her whole family. She could do it.

***

Okay, this was a bit ridiculous.

Lothíriel felt the need to repeat -to herself -that she was not the kind of girl to get insta crushes, but this man had to be joking.

How was it possible that he looked even better that night?

Was this witchcraft? Because it kind of felt like witchcraft.

Éomer looked so good in that gray suit, no tie, not even an attempt at controlling his long hair. (No, she was not thinking of holding on to his hair while he ate her out. Well… Now she was.)

They were at this restaurant that belonged to one of Echiron’s friends, where everything was organic, overpriced and not that revolutionary. Amrothos was convinced Echiron only pretended to like this place because he was sleeping with said ‘friend’. Lothíriel just wished he didn’t make them go there.

Éomer was frowning at what was supposed to be his steak. “I think they left most of it in the kitchen.”

Lothíriel hid her smile with her napkin. “They seem to do that a lot here.” She indicated her own fish, which probably was no more than a tablespoon of food.

Éomer sighed. “We’ll need to leave and get a pizza.”

“Can I come along?” She asked with a grin.

They had been sitting side by side, which didn’t help much with her crush. Now she knew how good he smelled and they talked most of the night.

He gave her a slow smile. “Of course. I couldn’t leave you to f… Ouch!” Éomer winced, then glowered at Amrothos, who was across from them and glowering right back at him.

Had her brother just kicked Éomer under the table? She threw a confused look at her brother, but he was staring straight at Éomer and mouthering…

“Did my brother just tell you not to flirt with me?” She asked Éomer in a stage whisper.

“Lotty!” Amrothos hissed at her,

“He did.” Éomer replied to her in the same way. “That’s the third time tonight.”

It was Lotty’s turn to frown. “Third?” She gasped theatrically at him. “Have you been flirting with me in secret?”

Éomer chuckled. “I guess I have. The first was when I said ‘hello’...”

“Yes, that was very inappropriate of you.”

His smile got bigger. “And the second was when I said your dress is cute.”

Lothíriel looked down at her dress. “But it is cute!”

“Right?”

They grinned at each other, before Éomer winced again.

“Amrothos.” Lothíriel hissed at her brother. “Stop assaulting our guest!”

“I will.” Amrothos gave her a fake smile. “As soon as he stops flirting with my baby sister.”

“Amrothos.” Their father’s voice made her brother flinch. “What is going on?”

“Nothing.” He was quick to say.

Lothíriel took the opportunity to turn to Éomer. “I’m so sorry about this.” She was now serious. “Amrothos is being ridiculous.”

“Your brother is really protective.” Éomer shrugged. “I get it, you are lovely and sweet.” Lothíriel was floating on those words for about three seconds, until he finished his thought. “Of course he has nothing to worry about. I’d never do something like that to your father.”

Ice gripped her heart. “I beg your pardon?”

Éomer cleared his throat. “Your father is a great friend of mine. I wouldn’t flirt with his daughter carelessly.”

“Right.” Lothíriel gave him a smile that was probably too tremulous, so she took a sip of wine to hide it.

Once again she wasn’t a person or a woman. She was just Imrahil’s daughter and because of that she was in this untouchable shelf.

Well, that was the end of that crush.

***

Éomer took a sip of his beer as he watched the lights of the city. He could barely wait to get back to Edoras.

He missed the farm, the horses, the work, the people…

Dol Amroth was beautiful, but it wasn’t home.

He put the beer down and looked at his suitcase. Normally he’d have this done already, but he couldn’t concentrate on the task and he needed a distraction. Hence the beer.

He’d hurt Lothíriel’s feelings.

He saw it clear as day on those pretty eyes of hers. She didn’t say anything, just smiled at him and continued to make polite conversation after, but it wasn’t the same.

There were no more secret smiles and sassy remarks from her. Just the plainest, most boring topics of conversation ever.

Éomer imagined it was because he said he wouldn’t flirt with her, but he wasn’t sure why that had made her so sad. She couldn’t possibly…

It didn’t matter anyway. He was leaving, she was staying.

Lothíriel was absolutely lovely -breathtakingly so. But she was also younger and the daughter of a good friend. They were worlds apart.

She’d forget him pretty soon.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Hello. I hope your having a good day. I have never watched Yellowjacket but I do think it looks interesting and I follow you and a few other people who love this show so my ask is can you tell me what it’s about. Also feel free to share some opinions about characters and storylines as I don’t mind spoilers and they actually help me watch new shows so I’m not as anxious about it. Also do you have a favorite head canon that isn’t talked about??

Hi!! omg this is so exciting. okay. here we go!!

First of all, I love the show very much, I recommend it 100%, if you're interested in some of the most fascinating female characters on tv right now and you can handle a little bit of horror, you should totally watch it!!!

This includes spoilers from the very beginning and all the way to halfway to episode 06 of season 2...

Basically, Yellowjackets is about a group of teenage girls, a high school soccer team, that crashes in the wilderness (some forest/mountains situation in Canada) and they spend a shocking 19 months surviving out there. At the same time, it tells the stories of the survivors, 25 years later, and the crazy, crazy amount of trauma that all of them are dealing with because we are told that did some horrible, terrible, awful bad things in the wilderness in order to survive. aka it is heavily implied that they resorted to cannibalism. but not just that! because that is pretty much established since the first episode! actually, things get even weirder, probably supernatural, and all signs point to a teenage girl cult!

The drama between all these characters is *chefs kiss*. Their lives are so messed up, their choices are so questionable, they are so much much. There is some horror, I'm not sure how to measure that... like, enough to make it a difficult watch if you're too squamish, but I'd say not unwatchable. (for example: an amputated leg, face torn by wolves, chopping a dead body, and lots of unsettling imagery! the cannibalism itself wasn't Very explicit but it Has happened)

Now about the characters! (i'll try to be brief because I could talk about them for days) We have...

Shauna Shipman! My poor little meow meow. As a teenager she lived under the shadow of her best friend Jackie (popular girl, team captain, with the "perfect boyfriend) but did she? because actually Shauna was sleeping with Jackie's boyfriend, had a lot to do in Jackie's extremely tragic death, and now she carries the heavy burden of her guilt and more trauma than anyone would know what to do with!

Taissa Turner, miss senator!! Distinguished lesbian and chaotic lesbian at the same time. She's a leader, she's pragmatic, she's stubborn, she occasionally sleepwalks when she's stressed!! which prompts her to eat dirt, scare the people around her, and possibly built creepy altars that will ruin her marriage <3

Natalie Scatorccio!! my girl was traumatized even before the plane crashed. she was very important in the wilderness for being the best one with a gun. and yet she suffered from "wristers pushed her into a terrible relationship with the one male character of the show". after they were rescued, Natalie struggled with addiction for years until we meet her at a very rough moment in her life, after said male character dies and she's more and more haunted by their past

Misty Quigley!! My absolute beloved!! She's never done anything wrong ever, except for the atrocities committed <3 She's basically insane, but she's an absolute delight to watch on screen. Your next problematic fav! She's the nerdy outcast that nobody liked until they needed her medical knowledge in the wilderness, and nobody liked after she drugged them all, and as an adult she's just Christina Ricci trying her best!

In season two we get to see much more of Van and Lottie!! Van was dating Tai when they were teens but now she's just a very iconic lesbian, more trouble than she's let us know so far, and she'll be your next unproblematic fav! Meanwhile Lottie is leaning more toward the insane, cult leader, and absolutely gorgeous. she starts off as the rich girl that under different circumstances would've died right away but here's the twist... prophetic visions ✨ my girl will raise as a cult leader in the past and the present and i just want the best for her.

there are more characters! including Travis, the guy i hate. and his younger brother Javi, who's sometimes there, and sometimes isn't! there's Coach Scott! he's just gay and struggling. there's Mari being mean, Akilah also trying her best, some random girls sometimes? and for my favorite headcanon that isn't talked about (enough)... Laura Lee!! i don't even know why I got so emotionally attached to the character of the angelic devout catholic girl that died a tragic dead on season one but i just love her so much!! and especially her relationship with Lottie! trust me on this, they were so gay together. they turned a baptism into a lesbian ceremony! Laura Lee's ghost saved Lottie's life!! the potential these two had!!!

✨ the end ✨

i hope this was somehow coherent and that i possibly convinced you to watch the show? there's a lot that i missed talking about here, i'm so sorry about that but i'm so ready to asnwer if you have any more questions!!

[misquigleya]

thoughts below my dudes spoilers be extra heavy

getting some big ole "lost" vibes from that whole freezing to death scene with lottie, don't know how i feel about that cause "lost" fucked us over in the end and i'm still not over it all these years later. so. yj writers...don't let me down

akilah was precious with the little mouse / shrew ( not exactly sure what it was but it was cute ) and her being the only one really semi-clinging to "normalcy" with still studying for the STATS? i'm rooting for you bby girl pls do not follow in mari's footsteps

speaking of mari....girl if you find yourself wondering why you were chosen for the next bbq....think back to all the BEEF you were starting and having with everyone in that cabin like a;sdklfj pull your head out of your ass lmao

benny boy, my dude, my home-skillet....pls don't ask the "vicious monsters" what they would have / will do if you're chosen / selected for the next feast cause that just not a good thing to be putting in their heads. also you should have used your crutch against mari cause girly really be squaring up with you like ma'am that is a full grown adult man...sit your ass down

LAURA LEE PLEASE COME BACK CAUSE YOUR GF IS LOSIN IT BABES like...lottie really does need a voice of reason and i think that's what laura lee was to her aside from the og believer and thinking she [lottie] had a direct line to "god" with knowing what's up with the wilderness and shit

....javi being alive was not on my bingo card but i don't think he's completely out of the woods ( ha ) just yet cause it's still possible that he could not have been one of the, i'm assuming, 8 survivors. but we shall see but i know for certain that nat's gonna get an ear full from travis / the others cause of the whole "finding" his [javi] pants in the tree. but i had a feeling that it would come back and bite her in the ass...just not in the form of javi being alive

i love vanessa palmer so much like that's my butch lesbian <3 love that they own a little shop and it looks like it involves their interests, etc. absolutely love it for van

tai you need to talk to someone and i hope you actually talk to van about like....everything leading up to you just randomly showing up to their place of business which....other tai seems to be in more control???? like the whole breaking into jessica robert's place and finding the info to find van then "waking up" on the side of the road with no gas. way pass sleep walking and eating dirt and that don't sound good nor could it mean good is to come of it

shauna and jeff, mom and dad, you need to get it together but i'm with jeff in the way that shauna should not have told callie that she killed adam, that jeff knew, and helped get rid of the evidence. like it just...SHE'S TALKING TO A 30+ YEAR OLD CREEPO COP which i get it, she doesn't know that but still. she's already leaked that shauna did have an affair with adam and that just shines some shit light on shauna and jeff and just....baby what is you doin

something that was on my bingo card and that is having me squinting even harder at walt is the whole story about him having won a settlement and "surviving" an accident. also proclaiming himself to be a millionaire???? oh you mean hottie lottie's bread and jam aka the type of folks that come to cult camp???? nah. walt has def gotta be involved someway cause it makes sense; lottie knows how misty is/was and she could have seen that walt was the same ( if he wasn't fucking coached to be that way ) and pointed him in misty's direction cause it could be the perfect way to get misty to the cult camp though i'm sure misty would have found a way to get HER WOMAN back one way or another

and now to the biggest thing i have screamed with the wifey ( @scatcrccio ) ....if these writers are dicking me around with mistnat/NaSTY being a thing after teasing it so fuckin hard last season oN TOP OF THE ACTORS BOTH SHIPPING IT....i will get violent. it's giving me too much whiplash and flashbacks to killing eve and i just can not go through that kinda shit again. so if tHE WRITERS COULD PLEASE JUST EASE UP ON THE POTENTIAL SHIPS AND REFOCUS ON MISTNAT....that'd be fuckin super duper

....also absolutely no offence to lottie/nat or nat/lisa shippers like you do you boo-boo but i'm delusional and floating down the denial river grasping at mistnat and i need it to be canon okay????

[lotties-ashwagandha]

If requests are still open could you please do a lottie x gentle reader? I feel like lottie is constantly comforting and leading others on their health "journey" and that must be exhausting. At the end of the day reader is the one to just hold lottie, reassure her of her place in the present and just let her be a person not a leader.

NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE

pairing: lottie matthews x reader

word count: 821

summary: you comfort lottie after a hard couple of days working at the wellness center, where she never allows herself a break

From the moment she returned home, you knew she was completely spent. She’d had a long week, you were well aware of that. New Years had taken its toll — the two of you had had fun in the celebrations around the wellness center, but a collective existential crisis was expected at New Years in any wellness center.

Lottie tried to hide her exhaustion, she always did, a bit of a hypocrite when it came to self care — always preaching it to others, especially to you, but never following through for herself. She claimed she didn’t need reassurance, she didn’t need coddled, but you always saw right through it, just as you saw through it now.

You watched from bed as she began brushing her hair after a shower at the vanity in the bedroom. Her movements were hurried and rough, you could hear pieces of hair snapping in her rush. It unsettled you because she took such perfect care of her hair usually, never this rough, never careless. Every stroke had intention, but not today. She wasn’t even sitting at the vanity, she was standing, looming over it. Trying to get her nightly hair and skincare routines done as soon as possible.

Silently you got out of bed and approached her. She must not have noticed your movement because she jumped slightly when you wrapped your arms around her from behind, pulling her into an embrace silently.

“Are you okay?” She asked. You could hear the exhaustion in her voice.

“I’m fine,” you said. “Are you?”

She nodded. You knew she wouldn’t voice her discomfort, not until she was so drained she had to relent to it. You wanted to make sure that didn’t happen.

You took the hairbrush from her hands, taking a half step back and watching her in the mirror. She was disheveled — maybe not physically, clad in black silk pajamas with her hair swept to the side, but emotionally — in a way only you were able to pick up. You guided her away, pulling her over to the bed and guiding her to sit down. You sat behind her, and gently you began to brush her hair, soothing the breakage she’d induced and carefully unraveling every tangle.

She sighed, leaning her head back ever so slightly, her eyes falling closed. She needed this. She needed a break. You were fully ready to give her one as you began to braid her hair carefully. She always slept with a braid, it kept her hair neat.

“You can talk to me,” you said. “If you need to. If you want to… I’m here.”

Lottie didn’t respond. Your concern grew. You crawled to her side, resting a hand on her back.

The braid unraveled.

After a moment she met your gaze, and you became immediately aware of how distraught she looked.

“Lottie,” you said softly, “what’s wrong?”

She shook her head. She looked genuinely at a loss for words, and she ran her hands through her hair in a manner slightly irritable, and silently you lamented over the tangles put back in her hair that you’d just brushed away.

“I’m so tired,” she whispered, and for a second you thought she might cry. “There’s nothing more I can give.”

You pulled her into your arms, pulling her so that the two of you laid against the pillows. Lottie rested her head on your chest and took a few deep breaths, trying to regulate herself while you held her. You rubbed her back soothingly, allowing her to relax in your embrace.

“You don’t always have to let it get this bad,” you said. “You need to let yourself rest more. You don’t always have to be working for everyone else.”

“This place relies on me.”

“Exactly. It relies on you to set an example, and running yourself to the ground to suit others’ needs isn’t a good example.”

She sighed. “I hate it when you do that.”

“When I do what?”

“Outsmart me like that.”

You smiled, nodding. “I’m getting good at it.”

She cuddled impossibly closer to you, and you could feel her beginning to calm down. You could’ve spent eternity like this.

“I love you,” she said suddenly, when you were vaguely sure she’d fallen asleep. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I love you, too, but you’re the one taking care of all of us. It’s the least I can do to be here for you.”

“Can we stay like this for a while?” She asked, and you smiled.

“Of course we can.”

You’d stay like that for as long as she needed, holding her and comforting her and allowing her every moment of peace she deserved. You were comforted in the knowledge that you could be there for her in every depth of her need, and you knew that when the time came, she would just as quickly hold you as you so dearly held her.

[tianarpowell]

Tiana told Remy, “The soup is pretty basic, if I’m being honest about it. Avocados, leeks, and just a little tomato… So we have to make sure we’re making it with the right proportions. On the show, it was this massive hit—Aarón Sánchez kept saying it reminded him of his favorite soups from childhood, and Gordon wanted to know what this really young chef had done aside from the bread bowl to ‘spice up the offering’. And the young chef kept telling them, I did this because I like easy-to-make recipes that you can cook when you’re feeling down, or not at one hundred percent. That really struck me. That’s why I wrote it down. I think we’re both feeling good today, but I want to taste that soup so I know just what that young chef was trying to present to Gordon and Aaron and Joe. It’s a passion of mine, making food that lifts the spirits. Maybe there’s something in this that can lift the spirits of the eater as well as the chef. Those are my thoughts.”

Tiana glanced over at Remy when, after a little bit more cooking, he asked her about her experience as a chef. “Third Street’s actually a very old job for me. I got out of culinary school when I was twenty-one. So it’s been four years, almost, that I was making those side dishes every night. My culinary school placed me at that restaurant because they thought it’d suit me better than other places in Redwood Hollow. And before Third Street, before culinary school, I cleaned dishes and cleaned kitchens nonstop. That was back in high school, when I had to do homework on top of all that cleaning. My friend Lottie used to tell me that I deserved more than that life. And she was right, I do. But everyone finds their feet somewhere. Everyone figures themself out someplace. And restaurants like Benbow Diner, where I bussed tables, were where I slowly turned into a chef. A chef, you might say?! Hard to believe! But anyone who’s cleaned for a long time can tell you that when you’re working on mindless things like that, you’re thinking, too. And I was thinking about the food at the diner. Planning out my future restaurant…”

Tiana continued, “Have I told you about my dream restaurant, Remy? It’s—well, I’ve been wanting to call it ‘Tiana’s Palace’ after a little banter my dad and I used to have when I was a child. It’ll be half Cajun food, New Orleans style, and half classical French. So we’ll be doing gumbo and crawdads and all that, on top of all the foods you’d want from a full French restaurant, like chicken cordon bleu or coq au vin.” She paused. “I want it to be after all my heroes when I was learning about Black culture in high school. People like George Washington Carver, who made up ways to use plain peanuts. And Rosa Parks, who was the bravest woman I could imagine, defying people’s rules the way she sat where she wanted to sit on that bus. Or MLK, of course! These people were legends in my teenaged eyes. But this restaurant, Remy, it’s gotta be the real deal. Or else I won’t be doing any of these things justice. I need to have the best Cajun-style dishes, the best French dishes…and that’s where the whole thing falls apart, because I know myself and I know that I’m not one of those perfect, highly-talented French chefs. I do a lot of things very well, but the classic French cuisine I know I want at this restaurant cannot be made by my hands.” She took a deep breath, like Remy had wanted them both to do every now and then while they were cooking. “It’s tough. Having a dream like that, knowing parts of it can’t happen right now. And I don’t have the funds. But I’ll be doing this the most honest way possible or not at all, and that means using my own hard work to sow the seeds for my restaurant’s existence. Clocking in every day with a smile; perfecting the cooking skills that are really mine, not just skills that I think I need to have to be ‘perfect’. Having fun every now and then, like this…so I remember why I dream about this restaurant literally at all. Do you have a goal like that, Remy? Something distant, but real enough to give you strength each day? For me, it’s a restaurant I can really share with the people I love. Food and fun. That’s me at my deepest, and it’s what I dream about, day and night.” Tiana smiled wistfully. The restaurant seemed realer in her daydreams somehow, more colorful and musical now that people were giving her encouragement every day. She knew her friend and confidant Remy was largely to thank.

“So,” Tiana said in response to Remy’s once-again brilliant cooking suggestions. “Sumac and lemon for a touch of sour, plus dill and fresh cream. I’ve got some dill—I’ll check if it’s still good.” As she opened up her fridge to examine that dill, she nodded excitedly at Remy’s idea to do a dessert. “Yes, yes! A dessert would be the perfect addition!” She sniffed the dill in her fridge—still great! “And let’s absolutely go with a genius idea of yours, Remy—I think we’ve given MasterChef the ego boost it needs for the day.” She laughed hard.

.

"C'mon, that was all you. If I did anything, it was just giving you a little push," he said with a jerk of his shoulder. Still, it was nice to know that Tiana appreciated him enough to credit his (and others) help as a main reason why she got this promotion she was so happy about.

"That's good reasoning," Remy nodded. "Well, I haven't done an avocado soup before, so... I'll trust the process." What he really wanted was for her to go over that recipe with him, so he could know what she was about to do, and, in his position as professional baker, give her a few notes if necessary. But part of experimenting was also trusting the other to do what they thought was right. And, if Tiana had faith in this particular flour, Remy would have faith in it too.

And, of course, Remy grinned wide at her compliments. One thing was his family moaning and nodding happily when they tried his food, wolfing it down as quickly as they could; one thing was his brother distractedly nodding all the time, looking at Remy as if he were focused when in reality, they both knew he had no idea was Remy was talking about; another thing was Tiana, experienced cook, now head chef, lauding his choices.

They spent a few minutes focused on their tasks, Remy with his whole concentration on the meatballs he was working on, Tiana with the sauce. He pushed the chopped onions, garlic and the cloves in a bowl with his knife, emptied the ground pork package, added an egg and the spices he had set apart, and got to mixing everything. Once he was finished, there was only making the meat into the eponymous balls and putting them in the sauce. Instead of doing that, he found himself watching Tiana's hands as she worked, in a professional, steady rhythm. "Have you ever worked in a restaurant besides Third Street?" Remy asked her out of a sudden. He was now getting a good idea of how Tiana was like in the kitchen, but he had started to get curious about her. "Have you been working for long there?"

Her next words took him by surprise. "What? You can't possibly be bad at cooking with other people," Remy frowned. "Look at us! Also, look at you! You got that promotion! They wouldn't have given it to you if you didn't work well in a team." Though he did have an idea of what she was talking about. A very general idea: Remy hadn't ever worked in a kitchen with other people. It had always been him alone, working three pans at the same time, organizing himself on the kitchen counter so as to manage the cooking times, groaning to himself when something didn't go according to plan. "Look, you'll learn how to guide others. I guess it's just something you get as you earn more experience, y'know?" He was rather proud of himself, at least, for being pretty good at this cooking-with-others business so far. And, so far, Tiana was a pretty good kitchen partner, too.

Remy scoffed and looked down at the meatballs he was finally rolling in his hands, now that the sauce was simmering. This was the first time someone had ever told him they were relaxed around him. It almost sounded like a joke. "Good to know, chef. Unconventional," Remy repeated, and smiled back. "I'd say some potatoes can round it off well, something softer, maybe with a little of turmeric and some more paprika too, to spice it up a bit. But..." He sighed and leaned back against the wall, deep in thought. "That'd be the conventional choice. I love me some good potatoes, just lie anyone, but that's the easy way out." Remy wouldn't say it, but as much as he loved his Nana, he knew that's the way she would have gone. "I'd say... Something sour. Just a little bit, to complement the beets. Yeah, we can use the sumac, and..." He glanced at the glass of lemonade. "... Some lemon juice with garlic and olive oil, yeah, that should do the trick. And some dill to garnish would be nice, if you got any, and maybe a dollop of fresh cream, to soften the edges just a bit, so we avoid ourselves overcrowding the dish with potatoes." Remy chuckled. "It's looking a lot like borscht here. I'm not complaining, though."

He quickly washed his hands, had a sip of his lemonade, and turned to face Tiana. "Something for dessert, to finish our full-course meal? I got a couple ideas."