#the way magnus said we still dont know everything we need to know everything you do about the red robes. the way she has to lie to their

[girlcockholmes]

literally anything lucretia says or does makes me sob and im not exaggerating.

[mrfoox]

God im... Probably too nice but it's fine

[i-cant-sing]

How do you're ocs treat Reader to a self care day?

Theodore is beating his chest with thunderous hands and opens his arms wide and that is your cue to fucking jump on him and let him cuddle you- cuddle the sadness, the depression, the fatigue OUT OF YOU. At least thats his idea of self care (that and shooting people... and breaking stuff... and causing chaos and destruction) but he'll compromise and do whatever you wanna do, as long as he gets to grumble and hold your hand (at least, he loves physical intimacy). Honestly, u can get him to agree anything u want if u just give him a kiss on the nose- and he will instantly melt. He will still complain, thats non negotiable.

Dimitri is a man of money. He will spend his entire account on you if it pleases you, and if retail therapy is your thing, girl u just hit the jackpot. Of course, hes down for seggsy times too, but thats really his idea of self care and if you wanna do something else, he can put his needs aside for now even though he promises you would've felt 100000 times better by the time he was done with you. But like i said, he's a rich guy, he will give u his credit cards and money if u wanna do something else. Hell, he's even rained them bills on you. "Do you want to jump on a pile of money, pchelka? Hm? I can arrange that for you, darling." (pchelka = little bee)

Eros... the golden boy, the charmer. He will literally sweep u off your feet with how sweet and caring he is omg he will actually drop everything he's doing the moment he hears you sigh out the wrong way. Like you take one breath way too deeply and he's right in front of you, holding your face ever so gently and asking you whats wrong. And you dont even need to tell him anything because he's just so darn smart and he can read you like an open book and thus, he knows what you need. He knows if its a "retail therapy" kinda day or "stay at home, do face masks and watch comfort movies" or "take long bubble baths together" kinda day. Please rant to him, he pays close attention to all of it and has the best and most appropriate reactions and... he just loves your voice. And the thing with Eros is that he doesnt just make it a self car day- no, its a self care days/week/months or however long HE deems that you need it. He's the best, i love him.

Magnus is... not the dude u wanna self care with. Like dont come to him and say "can i have some space/leave the house for a while because I desperately need some me time." because to him that means he needs to STEP TF UP and be there more for you as if u werent already tired of him breathing down your neck 24/7. "Hm, what did you say? You want some space? Oh but angel, that's not what you need. No, silly! God made us for each other, we're soulmates! And we need to be there for each other, in sickness and in health! Aww but I don't blame you for getting confused about what your body needs! Its what happens when you dont have a baby in you. And it has been a while since we had our last! I think its time for baby number 8! :D" And you best believe the cult members are glaring at you through the windows of your house, pointing their pitchforks at you to fucking follow your husband to the bedroom and let him put another baby in you or they will come in to help him do just that (and maybe beat u up a little when he's gone for baby shopping).

You say self care and Lucifer's mind goes to torturing souls and eternal damnation. But thats what he likes, and now that he likes you, he will let you express your preferences. I mean, personally he would kinda try to get u into adding more oil into the fire that burns souls, but he knows you dont like it when they scream... maybe he can pull their vocal cords out?? Hm, maybe. Lucifer allows u to do whatever you wanna do as long as you do it in hell/within the premises of his home(castle, really. Real edgy dark, satany theme going on). One time, you wanted someone to just hold u and since Lucifer is the only one who is allowed to touch you, you climbed into his lap and let him hold u for hours as he sat on his throne, and he swears he's never felt more content in his life than with you softly snoring in his arms and shuffling closer to him every now and then, with him carding a hand through your hair and kissing your soft cheeks.

[im-out-of-it]

I know what I said but bonus part season 2, episode 6 continued RELATIONSHIPS TAKE EFFORT continued “iron sisters” continued (it’s continued obviously)

140. and yes, they have issues to get through but this was the cutest form of hey I really admire you and your past freaks me the fuck out but I want to stay and work through this and I don’t know shit about dating but I hear relationships take effort so let’s do this thing. so I’m just going to add all the ones I probably already did and forgot about (but wouldn’t you rather see more than less?)

141. READ THE FUCKING ROOM (THE WAY MAGS WAS HOLDING ONTO ALEC)

143. Magnus: BITCH LEAVE

144. the kiss but in black and white because you bet this date will come up in the next season

145. AND I LOVE HOW MAGNUS HAS HIS FINGER ON HIS LIPS AFTER KISSING ALEC

146. Alec: bro this is my boyfriends house. you can’t just invite yourself in

147. it makes me mad how jace walks in like he owns the place and is like got a spare room? Magnus is too nice to say no but Magnus didn’t have to do that. if I were Magnus and I saw how you had been treating my boyfriend, I’d put your worthless ass on the street

148. jace has a home but he has too much of a big ass ego to tolerate a demotion. Jace always has to be in the spotlight because how dare he pay for any of his actions

149. if someone just barged in with a bag, I’d say no like 1. you came unannounced and 2. I don’t like you

150. Maia and Simon have such a good friendship

151. Izzy is like I almost died and aldertree acting like he didn’t know yin fein has vampire properties lmao and even when clary still doesn’t share anything, Izzy still has her back IZZY IS TOO GOOD FOR CLARY

152. shit it beats me because I would’ve been like she did this and said that so just ship her ass to idris ITS WAY PASSED TIME lmao I don’t care if it’s petty. Izzy and Alec do everything for clary and jace and they both act like it’s never good enough. and they also treat everyone else as if they are superior because they have PuRe AnGeL bLoOd 🙄 and then they continue to lie and hide things from Alec and Izzy. and who is constantly solving your problems because it certainly isn’t themselves smh

wow so 152 was the number and yes I went overboard and no I don’t care just kidding I do care. so much Malec content in this episode!!!!!!! thank your for joining we love seeing show Malec enjoy each other as they date and holy fuck 17,000 is a fucking lot but so is 0 and ugh can clary just shut the fuck up now please discussion post

I seriously can’t wait until Izzy is like no I don’t want to be near you. yeah she’s reacting from the yin fein soon but Izzy has been way too fucking kind to clary. Jace and clary needed so many wake up calls and to be put in their place

also how dare jace take advantage of kind wonderful beloved Magnus. Alec should have properly went off. it’s even worse what he does when 1. Magnus plans a party for Alec and his family and 2. Jace is trying to compare him and clary to Malec. BRO IF YOU DONT FUCKING STOP

but I may try to start the next episode today maybe probably maybe not who knows but thank you anyone who has been reading and paying attention to me

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

snippet with ari for writing chaos plz <3

“Why do gay people have to come out but straight people never do?” Ari asks casually one day when they are having dinner. 

“Because the world is full of shitty people,” Rafe comments.

Valid. 

“Helps with character development,” Max points out, swallowing the mouthful of pasta without chewing.

Gross.

Brothers are fucking gross. 

“And straight people don't need character development?” Magnus chuckles.

Max replies immediately, “i mean they are straight. Nothing can redeem that.”

“This feels like a personal attack,” Rafe rolls his eyes at Max. “Being straight is not a crime you know.”

Arianna rolls her eyes at them before turning to her parents.

“Dad, how did you come out?”

Dad’s hand stops mid-way as he pauses. 

“Dad smooched the fuck out of Bapak in the accords hall,” Rafe smirks at Dad, who exchanges a look with Bapak full of love.

How could she forget? She has heard this story a billion times. 

The story of the kiss. 

“That must have been so badass,” Ari says excitedly. 

Something flashes across Dad’s face and it wasn't the same happiness she sees when anyone mentions the kiss.

“It wasn’t.”

Max and Rafe exchange a look before matching grins appear on their faces.

“Bapak, are you hearing this?” Rafe says dramatically.

Max puts a hand to his chest in mock hurt before adding fuel to the fire, “The disrespect. Bapak, if I was you, I would not have taken it.”

“These are grounds for divorce,” Rafael adds, grinning ear to ear as he fist-punches Max.

Ari chuckles at their idiocy but she doesn’t miss the look on Dad’s face or how Bapak fastens their hands together. 

“It was the greatest kiss of my life,” Dad adds, smiling at Bapak.

“He is trying to cover it up now,” Max interrupts but Rafael punches him in the shoulder this time and Max raises his hands up in surrender.

“Like I said, it was the greatest kiss of my life but it was also the scariest moment of my life.”

“Because you made a declaration of your love?” Rafe asks.

Dad shakes his head. He hesitates before replying, “Because I kissed a man in a room full of homophobic assholes.”

“Oh.”

She feels a pit in her stomach for her dad, for how scared he must have felt. 

Bapak shifts his chair closer to Dad and kisses his temple gently. 

“We know that kiss made a statement, but no one should be forced to make statements like that. It shouldbe easier,” Bapak says in a gentle voice.

“See!” Arianna points out. “That's what I'm talking about. Like why should I have to go through the ordeal of having to sit through a coming-out conversation? ‘Hi, Dad. Hi Bapak. Just wanted to let you know that I’m into girls. I am still the same person I was and I hope you can accept it’. Fuck that shit,” Ari rambles. “I’m not doing that.”

Four pair of eyes turned on her and widened.

“What?”

“OH MY GOD!!”

“You’re into girls.”

Ari rolls her eyes at all of them, “Yes. I am a lesbian.”

“Magnus, did you hear that?” Alec says excitedly.

Ari pushes the chair back and stands up, “I just told you guys that I dont want this to be a big deal. I dont like the concept of coming out. So this is my formal request to not considering this a coming out.”

“We don’t care that you’re gay, Ari,” Max points out. “We care that you told us today.”

She knows that Max knows. Max knows everything about her. He always knows. 

But she doesn’t understand everyone else’s reaction so she frowns “What does that mean?”

“It means that I won,” Dad pushes his hands in the air.

“What?”

Bapak, Rafe and Max all took out 100 dollars from their pockets and passed it to Dad.”

Ari’s eyes widen, “You bet on me?”

“Sure did, my baby.”

“You all are horrible, people.”

They all shrug in unison.

Assholes.

But her heart filled with warmth and love.

“How did you know?” Ari asks.

Rafael chuckles at the words, “Ari, you could not have a bigger crush on the babysitter if you tried.”

She rolled her eyes, “I could be staring at her to teach her a few things about fashion.”

“What about Marisa? The new transfer from L.A. Institute?” Max chuckles.

“She doesnt know how to throw an arrow.”

“You dont know that either. You are thirteen,” Dad comments with a grin on his face.

“And you have been obsessed with Aunt Izzy since you were a baby,” Bapak adds.

“That has nothing to do with me being a lesbian, thats ‘aunt izzy’ effect.”

Everyone nods at that.

“We been knew sis. We were waiting fo ryou to catch up,” Mac ruffles her hair.

“Fuck off, Max.”

“Language,” Dad says but his words barely had any heat.

“Can we move on and stop making fun at my expense?”

Ari knows they won’t stop because they are assholes like that.

Dad pauses for  a minute before replying thoughtfully, “I think we should be allowed five more minutes of this.”

“Will I get my cut from your earnings?”

“10%?”

“50.”

“25 and that’s final.”

Ari grins, “Deal.”

“Also, who says straight people never come out?” Dad says after a minute.

Rafael’s eyes widens and he started yelling, “No. No. No. You promised.”

Max and Ari frown at whatever’s happening as Rafael hangs his head in shame.

“Bapak, we had a deal.”

Alec stands behind Rafael and ruffles his hair, “Why, rafe? What happened to ‘grounds for divorce?”

Bapak snorts at the words as Rafael whine, “Bapak, please. Help.”

“You poked the wrong bear, Rafael.”

Ari frowns and exchanged a look with Max who also seems equally out of the loop.

“What's going on?”

Dad puts both his hands on Rafe’s shoulder, who has his face in his hands and speaks, “Rafael came out when he was twelve.”

Both their eyes widen. 

“What?”

“He came out as straight. He told us that he is not like us and apologised for that,” Dad laughs loudly.

Max starts jumping on the chair, laughing like this is the best thing he's heard in his entire life. Ari cannot help but laugh at Rafe himself, even though it’s cute and only Rafe would do something like this.

"Rafe, you are the biggest dork," Ari laughs.

“I was the victim of a horrible prank,” Rafael pouts and hides his face in Magnus’s shoulder. He looks up at Dad and glares. “I hate you.”

Dad bends to place a kiss on his head, “I love you too.”

It's only a few hours later when she is ready for bed, that Bapak and Dad knocks on her door.

“Hey.”

They don’t say anything, just cross the distance and hug her. She’s still waiting for her growth spurt and Dad and Bapak are fucking giants so she all but hides between the two of them. 

No words are needed right now.

They know she knows.

[crying-fantasies]

Propaganda

Masterlist

There was one, and only one, visual attempt to bring more bots to join the Lost Light, and that was back in the day when Rewind made his film: "Little victories" which was hated at the moment but acclaimed by the psychiatrists left on Cybertron and the media critics (two faceplated bastards) centuries after.

It was a hard blown at the moment, it was even mocked on at some point, and somehow Rodimus was more mad about the whole deal than the director himself.

No more entrance of new bots made things difficult, especially after the whole new-reality-dont-tell-a-soul-I'm-looking-at-you-Swerve deal, the new quest been to find lost treasures, adventures and thrilling emotions! But it was hella expensive by the way! And it made things short in their new adventure, coming back to Cybertron when no one didn't want to with the fear of having a very much prepared Prowl awaiting for the quantum engines.

But, guess what? This Prowl seemed to be less of an aft and actually tried to do his own, it only needed to have Perceptor make a full scanner to have it working, and that's it, that was everything that was needed, why didn't the original Prowl make the same? The consensus falled on him being such a prick, and also that this new Prowl had a human working on the council, telling him to be less radical.

Fort Max almost laughed in his faceplate and even attempted to rise that human femme of red helm in the air for all to see.

Nevertheless, both Megatron and Ultra Magnus should have seen this coming, and while Megatron wasn't as familiar with humanity above destroying their very atom with his cannon, Magnus should have know better after cycles living with Verity before she gave herself the authority to join the Wreckers back on Earth, Verity and this human femme had that same sly aura on them, Minimus, while not being an spectralism practician, just knew that something was up.

And so, only a few cycles before the energon stock was as it's peak and the mechanism were tuned to semi perfection, Rodimus allowed, while shouting, the entrance of a complete new portion of humans aboard just to spite Thunderclash, who only praised Rodimus due to his great and big spark (as if), Red Alert almost collapsed to the floor when the capsules full of humans in cryo-sleep were accepted as he was already fearing an outbreak of some rare and gross organic disease because he was just so sure of it, how can't you see the possibility of a major-

Anyway, it had only been a few earthling years of the humans aboard the Lost Light, it was supposed to be as laid down as possible since it was a test, it was only supposed to be working for almost 10 earthling years, but 10 years became 15, then 20 while the population was increasing aboard, and sooner than later Smokescreen was showing some friends back on Cybertron a few photos before-

"What is that?"

It was almost cropped out of the image, but everyone could still see it, he, a human male, little, a young spark, smiling contently to the camera, "Oh, yeah, we have this thing about having humans in the ship, this one is called John, little fellow is Grapple's pair buddy-"

"You", someone called out to Smokescreen, pointing at him like he said Unicron was back, "you're telling me you live with humans and never said a word to us?"

"Uh"

"What is a pair buddy?"

In the recent years, a rumor going around stated that humans were good for the spark and for the mind, and, while it was kind of off-putting how much the humans looked like them but with flesh, it was even said that humans were good company for the most scarred in medical and phycological problems.

Learning that the Lost Light, all this time, had humans, obviously catched the interest of most, and the fact that you could get a human?! (It wasn't exactly like that but the idea was already on the mind of many).

So imagine the surprise Red Alert had when, while rushing some of the kids back to the starship before launching, found said kids looking at bots that weren't part of the actual crew, shiny interest could be perceived by both parties while the kids came running to him, excited that new bots wanted to come too, but Red Alert had his reservations while holding as many kids as he could on his servos and shoulders to go look for their parents, not knowing that it only made things worse because since when humans let you pick them up like that? (Kids aboard were familiar with being picked up to prevent accidents).

"They let him touch them"

"So little"

"And that, my pal, it's fragging cute"

The secret, no so secret, was now in the open, and more than 45 new mechs joined the Lost Light for the first time since it's second launching.

[tscclace]

Becoming Jonathan

Chapter One

Fic Summary:

After being stabbed by the sword full of heavenly fire, Sebastian Morgenstern had just enough of the man he was supposed to be still buried inside. Just enough to survive the demon blood being burned out of him. Newly filled with emotions he had never experienced in his life, the Shadowhunter must deal with the events that have occurred and the Clave that is set on punishing the man responsible for all of the attacks across the world. Sebastian Morgenstern had been raised to handle anything thrown his way, but can he handle all of this as Jonathan Fairchild?

Clary took a deep breath. She recalled a conversation she had with Sebastian when they had been in Paris. He had wanted to know if she thought forgiveness was possible for someone like him. And if circumstances were different, if she could have loved him. Standing here by a non demon blooded version of him, she wasnt sure. But she knew it was a lot more likely than giving Sebastian a chance.

"I don't hate you," she told him finally, looking at her real brother, who was mostly being supported by their mother. "I hate Sebastian. I don't know you."

"I dreamed of a green place once," Jonathan then whispered. "A manor house and a little girl with red hair, and preparations for a wedding. If there are other worlds, then maybe there is one where I was a good brother and a good son."

Clary opened her mouth to reply when suddenly her brother slipped from her mother's grasp, falling to the ground. "Jonathan!" she exclaimed, her complicated feelings being shoved to the side as she fell to her knees next to his unconscious body.

"He's alive," Jace said, noticing the slight rise and fall of Jonathan's chest. "He's just really weak after everything. But I think he's going to survive" He stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder to offer his support and comfort.

"I wish you'd told us about your plan. Jace told us that you had been tricking him the whole time" Simon spoke up.

"I'm sorry but I needed your reactions to be genuine" Clary said, looking over at her friends but still close to her brother.

"Clary,   did S —did Jonathan say how we can unseal the borders?"

Clary swallowed hard, remembering . "He said it wasn't possible. Its forever sealed"

"So we're trapped here," Isabelle said,  shocked. "No. There must be a spell—Magnus—"

"He wasn't lying," Magnus said. "There's no way for us to reopen the paths from here to Idris."

Alec, whose gaze had been resting on Magnus, said,  "You said there was no way for us to do it, meaning there might be someone who could."

"I would have suggested it if I thought it was something we could risk it for. There are some things worse than death. Its one thing to gamble with my own life but to risk anyone else..." He shook his head

"The equivalent is staying here. Let us gamble it for a chance or getting out" Isabelle said, looking at the exhausted warlock. They had to get back. If there was a way, they needed to do it.

Once Magnus saw the others agree, he let out a sigh. "What about him? If this works, what are we doing with him?"

"He's coming with us. I dont know whats going to happen  exactly. Not yet. And its going to take a while to get used to. But he deserves a chance at least. He doesn't have demon blood anymore" Clary said. "We can't just leave him here"

"Alright" Magnus said, glancing at Jonathan.

He looked away and focused on summoning his father, who he had sworn to himself he would never summon again. He noticed Alec looking concerned when Magnus mentioned his father, but he couldn't change his mind again. They wanted to risk it. And Isabelle was right about how being stuck here was basically being dead. And they deserved to live. So whatever his father asked of them, he would do his best to pay in full. No matter the cost on himself. They were young. They deserved to live and be happy.

A tall man, as pale as bone, in a pure white suit stepped out towards them. Magnus' face was expressionless, wanting to get this over with. He couldn't bring himself to look at his father directly. Not for long.

"Father," said Magnus. "You came."

The man smiled.  "My son, it has been quite some time since you  called on me," he said  and turned his  smile on the others. "I am Asmodeus," he said. "One of the Nine Princes of Hell."

"You're Magnus' father?" Alec questioned in a strangled voice.

"He is. Alexander, I did warn you that this wasn't ideal" Magnus said, keeping his expression neutral as much as he could. He should have told Alec sooner.  But he hadnt been ready. And then he broke up with him, which had been a difficult decision. And now they would never be together again. He knew what his father would ask for as payment, and he knew he would comply if it meant everyone else was okay.

"I don't see what the fuss is about. I have been the father of many warlocks," said Asmodeus. "Magnus has made me the most proud."

The words from his father nearly made Magnus flinch. Pleasing Asmodeus wasnt something he'd think of as good. However, if he hadnt, then his father might have drained his life sooner. The last time he had summoned him.  "You can open a door, correct? Send us through to Idris, back to our world?"

"Would you like a demonstration?" Asmodeus asked and sent Luke and Jocelyn back with the snap of his fingers. "That was free. For the rest of you, it will cost something"

"I know what you want, and you can have it. ut you must swear on the Morning Star  to send all my friends back to Idris, all of them, and never to bother them again. They will owe you nothing."

"Wait, Magnus, what does he want? Why are you talking like you wont be coming back with us?" Alec questioned.

"There is a time when we must all return to live in the houses of our fathers. Now is Magnus's time" Asmodeus said before Magnus could. "I will be taking his immortality away from him as payment"

Alec's expression was one of anguish. He knew well from the breakup that Magnus didn't want this. So he did not like the sound of that at all. His heart ached painfully for Magnus. "But if you're taking away his immortality, won't he start aging normally? Why can't he come with us?"

"Once its done, all of the years I've lived will come rushing back, catching up to me." the warlock answered

"You'll die" Alec's voice was quiet, pain in his eyes. He could barely manage the two words but forced himself to continue speaking to see if he could change Magnus' mind. "No. No! You cant-"

"I have to" Magnus said. "Its the only way all of you will be able to get back home. Otherwise you'll die here. Its the right move to make, Alexander"

He looked at his last lover, pain visible in his expression. He hated to hurt him. It had crushed him to break up with Alec and avoid calls from him. And now he was making Alec never see him again. But this was the only way he would be able to survive. Perhaps he could find love again. Be happy with someone else. The mere thought hurt Magnus but also gave him a sense of relief at the thought of Alec being happy.

"You won't touch him," Alec said to Asmodeus, his voice like iron. He turned to Magnus again. "If it could be taken unwillingly, he would have done it already. So say no. Be here with us. None of us would trade your life for ours. We don't want you to die"

"Alexander, I have lived for a long time. My life can be over. All of you are young. You deserve to be able to live your life as long as you can. And I'd gladly give up my life if it means you and everyone you care about gets to go home" Tears were in Magnus' eyes.

When he had first met this group of shadowhunters and Simon, he hadnt expected to care about them as much as he did right now. He saw Clary grow up, seeing her once every two years. He had cared about her a bit, even if it was mostly just business. But he even found himself liking Jace now and wanting him and Clary to be able to live out a long life with hopefully no great war after this. And Alec... Alexander... He was Magnus' first shadowhunter lover. Magnus had been attracted to one before, but it had never gone anywhere and he hadnt loved him. With Alexander, he had known the shadowhunter would be his last love. Though he had hoped he would be able to be with him longer.

"Not everyone I care about. I love you" Alec replied, tears in his eyes as well. His breath shook a bit as he realized he couldn't convince Magnus to change his mind.

Magnus placed a hand on Alec's cheek, wiping away the tear that had escaped. "I love you too. I had known you were going to be my last love, but I hadn't expected our time to be cut so short, my love."

"Let me stay with you. I dont want a better world. I just want you. Even if it means I'll never go back. Let me be here"

Magnus was a little stunned at Alec wanting him over going home. It still never failed to surprise him just how much he meant to the shadowhunter. He had loved passionately before. He had stayed with a lover until they died of old age. But despite his love in the past, no one made him feel more loved than Alexander, despite the issues in the past that they had faced.

"No, Alexander, once my years catch up to me, and they will pretty quickly, there won't even be a body left. You'll just be here with nothing but the memory of me. And you'll end up dying too. No, you deserve to go back home and try living out your life, even if it has to be without me in it"

Alec couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Magnus close to him, unable to bare the thought of not doing this before it was too late. His hands clutched Magnus as though Magnus was the oxygen he needed to breathe. Magnus kissed the shadowhunter passionately, pouring every ounce of love he could into that kiss. Alec needed to know he was loved and how deeply. He needed to feel the thousand things Magnus wanted to say but didn't have time for. The warlock clutched to the shadowhunter just as desperately as Alec was. Neither wanted to let go.

"I'm willing" Simon spoke up, causing Magnus and Alec to pull apart.

Isabelle paled and said, "No, Simon, no!"

"I'm a vampire. So I'm immortal. And I haven't been one long, so I won't die by having my immortality taken from me. Magnus and Alec can still be together and alive. Everything's okay. It's the right thing to do"

"Azazel told me of you," said Asmodeus, his eyes suddenly shining. " A vampire is not interesting, but a Daylighter! You carry the power of the world's sun in your veins. Sunlight and eternal life, that is a power indeed."

"Yes," Simon said. "If you'll take my immortality instead of Magnus's, then I give it to you. I am  willing," he finished, ignoring the pleas of Isabelle and Clary, and with a glance around at the rest of the group, he set his jaw. He couldn't let his best friend or the girl he loved sway his opinion. This needed to be done.

"I shall take your immortality away and turn you human. There is one morething I want from you. One more item to sweeten the deal."  Asmodeus said with a grin on his face that caused Simon, as well as everyone else, to feel uneasy.

"What?" Magnus's voice shook. "What is it you want?"

"His memories," said Asmodeus. 

Simon's lips parted open as he looked at the Prince of Hell. He hadn't expected that. "All of my memories?" he asked, his voice sounding strained. 

"I shall take the Daylighter's immortality, and along with it, his memories of the Shadow World—all his memories of all of you, of all he has learned, of all he has been. That is my desire" The Prince of Hell reached out quickly and grabbed Simon, drawing him closer to him. Isabelle moved to get Simon away from the demon but let out a gasp as she was struck. She put her hand to it, looking shocked. 

"Leave her alone," Simon snapped, and wrenched his arm out of the demon's grip. He moved to stand between Isabelle and Asmodeus, unable to bare the thought of him hurting Isabelle again. "My memories of the Shadow World? So I won't remember any of them?"

"No, you will not even  remember Clary, who you knew long before she knew she was a shadowhunter" 

Magnus looked as if someone had stabbed him. "There it is," he whispered. "The trick at the heart of the game. There always is one with demons." 

"He will live. He will have the life of an ordinary mundane. He will have his family back; his mother, his sister. Friends, school, all the trappings of a normal human life." 

“Stop!” Isabelle stepped forward, her whip in hand, her eyes burning. “We know your name, demon. Do you think I am afraid to slay even a Prince of Hell? I would hang your head on my wall like a trophy, and if you dare touch Simon, I will hunt you down. I will spend my life hunting you—”

Alec wrapped his arms around his sister, and held her tightly. “Isabelle,” he said quietly. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Clary demanded. “We can’t let this happen—Jace—”

“This is Simon’s choice.”  Jace's eyes were locked on Simon’s. “We have to honor it.”

Simon's head was spinning, though as he stood, looking at everyone and especially Alec and Magnus, he knew he didn't have a choice. Not really. It was either this or Magnus died or they all stayed trapped here. Simon couldn't let that happen if he could help it. He would live. But he wouldn't have the memories of a world that had become far more important to him than he had expected. He wouldn't remember Clary. He wouldn't remember Isabelle. That thought was nearly enough to stop him in his tracks. But he didn't let it. He couldn't. 

"I will give you what you want," Simon said, forcing himself to ignore Isabelle and Clary's sounds of protests, "but let me say goodbye. They deserve that at least"

"I hate goodbyes. However, Yes, yes, you can have your goodbyes to your friends, but if you take too long, I may choose to retract my offer" Asmodeus said, though Simon knew he wouldn't.  Not with how much power he would be obtaining and how much he had lost because of everything that happened in the past couple of days.

Simon turned towards everyone again, and suddenly Clary was in his arms, hugging him. He hugged his best friend in the world back, knowing it would be the last time he would ever be able to. Clary had been such a crucial part of his life since they were 5 years old. He had started crushing on her quickly but never said a word about it until they were 16. Now, he no longer had those feelings, but the bond they had between them was still strong. He couldn't imagine a life without her in it. Yet very very soon, that would be the life he would live, and he wouldn't have the slightest idea that the people missing in his life, in his heart, existed. 

"I'm sorry" Clary breathed out in his ear. "I had tried to be the one to pay the price. I never wanted it to be any of you"

"I know" Simon replied, reluctantly pulling away from her. "It's... it's okay. I mean, all things considered, nobody is dying. As much as I want to be in your life and a part of all of this, I couldn't let anyone die if I could help it"

"I know" Clary said, swallowing hard. "I understand. I just... you're my best friend. One of the few people I can't live without"

"You'll figure it out" he said. "I don't know what kind of life I can live with false memories and missing all of you, but its alright." It was a lie of course. Simon hated this so much he could barely agree. But he would for them. He just didn't want their last conversations with him to be him being pitiful. After all, he wasnt going to be the one remembering all of this. They were.  "I'll be okay. Just.... be careful. Balance your fighting and your art. Whatever you choose to do about Jonathan, just know I support you completely. Even when we won't be able to talk anymore, just know that I'll back up your decisions in a heartbeat"

"I know. You've always supported me. Whether its my art or my fighting" Clary said with a small, sad smile. Tears were in her eyes, but she wasn't letting them fall.

"Remember you're Clary freaking Fray. You can do anything you set your mind to. And you've more than proven that. I hope things go easier for you now and you all can get a break after everything with Valentine and Sebastian. You deserve to live out your fullest life you can as a Shadowhunter. And you, all of you, can make necessary changes to the Shadow World. And you'll do it the right way. I know it. There's no one I'd rather put the future of the Shadow World in the hands of."

"I love you, Simon" Clary breathed out in a shaky voice. 

"I love you too, Clary" Simon replied. They both knew they meant in the platonic sense of the word. They were family now, like siblings even. Clary meant so much to him but not in that sense. Not anymore.  Simon stepped away from Clary and walked over to Jace. "Take care of Clary. Not that she needs it, but- And if there are supernatural issues that come between you both again, talk about it. Not avoid her and just eat Mangos and tomato soup while camping out at someone else's place" He said pointedly, remembering full well the shopping trip they took together when Jace had been having nightmares about killing Clary. 

"I never want to do anything like that to her again if I can help it" Jace promised. He hated hurting Clary. That time had been even more difficult to him than thinking Clary was his sibling. Just the mere thought of hurting Clary had been torture for him. But constant dreams about killing Clary? It was excruciating. 

"I know" Simon said, looking at him. He turned to Alec and Magnus. "Both of you fix your issues and be happy together. You clearly love each other a lot and deserve to be happy. I know its more complicated than that, but work it out"

Magnus nodded a little, unsure of what to say. It wouldn't matter anyway if the soon to be mundane wouldn't remember.

Simon took a deep breath and went over to Isabelle Lightwood, the girl he had fallen in love with. He had saved her for last because he knew it would be incredibly hard to say goodbye to her. Not that it hadnt also been incredibly hard to say goodbye to the best friend he could ever ask for. But she had gone to him.

"Simon...." Isabelle said, her breath shaking a little at the thought of saying goodbye. She hadn't expected to fall this hard for the vampire, but now she couldnt think about living where he had no idea who she was. Yet she was about to. At least he was going to live, she thought painfully, looking at him.

"Isabelle Lightwood. I'm not even sure where to start saying goodbye to you" Simon admitted. "Though perhaps by saying I believe this will be a see you later, not a goodbye"

"A see you later?" Isabelle questioned, forcing back tears with difficulty, which only caused Simon's heart to ache even more. Isabelle Lightwood was not the kind of person to cry in public if she could help it. But here she was, seconds away from breaking down in tears at the thought of losing him

"I dont believe for a second there won't be some part of me trying to remember you" Simon said. "I dont think you should just wait, letting life pass you by, wanting my memories back. But I do think part of me will be fighting to get back to all of you. Doing the best I can with the little I have."

Isabelle pulled Simon into a hug, closing her eyes. She didnt want to let her geeky boyfriend go. She was going to miss him.  She was going to miss his movie references. The way he told her Star Wars as a bedtime story. How he used his D&D knowledge to help them. How while he saw her looks and loved them, he loved far more than that and her ability to fight. Most guys, that was all they saw. And while she was confident in her looks and fighting was a big part of her life, Simon loved everything about her, even how horrible she was at cooking. (Though being a vampire, he didn't really have to taste test it).

"Find some way to remember me if you can" Isabelle said quietly in his ear. "Remember something at least"

Simon hugged her back closely. "I'll do the best I can to" he said, slowly pulling away. "I remember when Jace told me you would break my heart. But it turns out in the end, I'm the one breaking yours"

Tears began streaming down Isabelle's face, despite her best efforts to hold them back. "I thought this was a see you later?" she sniffled.

"It is" Simon said firmly. "I love you, Isabelle Lightwood. More than I can put into words. I hadnt expected to love you as much as I do, but now I can't imagine it any other way. That's why I know deep down I will still love you, no matter what comes next"

"I love you too, Simon Lewis" Isabelle said, drawing him into a kiss of desperation.

They both clung to each other tightly, not bothering to be gentle. They knew each other could handle it, and all they wanted right now was each other until it was time. Tears were streaming down Isabelle's face, and a tear of blood escaped Simon's. Both of them were trying to say everything they didn't have time for. Everything they couldn't put into words. They hadn't been dating for a long time, but it was obvious they had really fallen in love.

"It's time" Asmodeus said. He had let goodbyes be said to enjoy their pain. However, now he had enough. Simon and Isabelle pulled away from each other.  Asmodeus pulled Simon close, his hand sliding up to press against Simon’s chest, as if he could reach through his rib cage into his heart. “We begin here. Are you ready, Daylighter?”

"I am. Send Jonathan to Magnus' apartment in New York. If he appears in Idris, I doubt others will listen to reason." Simon said, looking directly at him, not hesitating. He had made his choice.  Asmodeus held him tighter, and Simon gasped, his eyes flying wide open; his hand went to his chest. “My heart—” he gasped, feeling it starting to beat again. He was a mundane again. He was alive.

But then his memories started being visible all around him as they were being drawn out of him. He could feel it all slipping away and tried to find something inside to hold onto. Even if it was something small. Something to let them know he wanted to remember if they checked in on him. That he could.

And then they were brought back to their dimension. Clary and Isabelle both immediately looked around for Simon, but he was nowhere to be seen.  Tears shined in Isabelle's eyes as she looked at Clary. “Simon’s not here,” she said. “He’s really gone.”

[my-own-oracle]

Could I get a fluffy Drift romantic Valentine thingy?

Of course! Every bot deserves some love. You didn't specify any specific version of Drift, so I'm going with the MTMTE version. If you wanted RID15 or something else, just let me know. Sorry, this kinda got long; I've been without power for the majority of 3 days, this was one of the few things I could to do.

You still kept track of the days that passed on Earth. At first, it was for your own amusement. Wanting to keep track of the time on Earth, but as some holidays came and went, you kept track to keep the connection to your home alive. You kept track of the calendar changes, making a special note when you entered the month of February

You planned, quietly and carefully, gathering spare datapads and using your little stash of credits to purchase a small gift for a particular bot. It was hard keeping the whole thing a secret, considering most of the things you had to hide away were significantly larger than you, but by the power of pure determination, you managed. 

You spent hours locked away in your hab-unit, carefully typing out cheesy Valentine's poems for your friends. Most following the 'roses are red, and violets are blue' format. And when they were done, you beamed. 

You spent the day dragging different data pads around to other bots. Tailgate had even decided to help you for a while, flying you around on his hoverboard, laughing and talking with you as you made your way through the large ship. Even with his help, the event took up most of the day. Slowly everything was handed out. All but one Valentine remained. 

You bid a farewell to Tailgate as he dropped you off at your hab-unit. You had to do this delivery alone. 

This was the Valentine that mattered the most.

**** Drift had spent most of the day with Rodimus, talking about everything from different tactical plans to the many ways the Co-captain could encourage and rally his mechs with a more powerful aura. Or at least Rodimus pretended to listen to that last part. Either way, Drift had spent several hours with his friend. During that time, the spectralist had spied an unusual sight, a datapad in Rodimus' personal quarters. "Did someone slip that in here when you weren't looking?" Rodimus laughed good-naturedly before shaking his helm.

"No, the Space Cadet dropped it off. She's celebrating an earth holiday today and is passing out some gifts to bots she thinks will appreciate them. Rodimus passed the datapad over to Drift, letting him read the short poem written on it.

"Roses are red, And you are too. I am so thankful, To be friends with you." 

Drift found himself smiling as he reads the blurb of text below it, where you explained Valentine's day and its significance to humans in your own culture. 

"So this day is used to express love and gratitude to those around you?" Drift clarified, smiling a little wider as Rodimus nodded.

"She told me humans also use this day as an excuse to express more romantic kinds of love too."

A feeling of jealousy settled in his tanks. 

"(Y/N)- she is truly a wonderful person. Did she pass out many of these?" 

"She had a large stack. You'll probably have one waiting for you in your room," A servo pushed into drifts shoulder plating.

"I doubt that we-" he calms his spark before speaking again. "We may be friends, but we hardly spend time alone together. I think she's frightened of me."

"Uhhh I-"

"She must have learned about some of the things in my past. She can hardly look at me in the optics when we're together, and if we are alone, she can't speak. I fear that I may be terrifying to be around.."

"Okay…. Have you ever thought that maybe your being," Rodumis rolled his optics, "I don't know, a little overdramatic?" 

Drift pondered the thought. But no matter how he looked at it, the hesitant gaze, the fidgeting when together, the quietness she only had around him, all signs pointed to her fearing him.

"Drift, please, don't make me be the responsible one. It goes against my entire being." 

Silence lapsed again.

"I am not spelling this out for you," Rodimus stood, pulling Drift to his peds and shoving him out the door. "Come back when you're done being a sparkling. Go talk to her," the door shut, leaving Drift to walk back to his hab-unit.

****

You could feel your heart racing under your ribs. Thundering with each step you took, leading you to pause every few meters. 'This is so stupid. I can't do this.' you told yourself for the hundredth time. 

"You alright there, Space Cadet?" you snapped your head behind you, spying Rodimus standing maybe a few feet away. When had he snuck up on you?

"I'm fine, just lost in my head." you face back towards Drifts unit, your confidence waning with each passing second.

"Is that another one of those valentines?" Rodimus squatted down to you your level, a servo reaching out to the special datapad you had placed on the hall floor. 

"No," you dashed in front of his hand. "Nothing of interest, really. It's just like the one I gave to you and everybody else."

"And I suppose the box next to it is nothing too," you took a large step to the right, standing between the white and red wrapped box you had next to the Data-pad, before sharing a small, shy smile with the co-captain.

"It's- it's nothing." your voice was softer than you wanted it to be. The smug look on Rodimus' face told you he didn't buy it. "I wanted to give a gift to someone, and if I was on Earth, I would give a special someone candy. I found out Cybertronians can eat energon candies, and I bought a crystal of it as a gift. But it's stupid. He probably won't like it anyways." 

You sunk your head closer to your shoulders. "Just giving him a poem and a piece of candy isn't going to make someone like him notice me." Your fingers worked at the hem of your shirt, rolling the worn material as a means to work out the lump you felt forming in your throat.

Rodimus held his servo out to you, a silent invitation to 'climb up' as he so often said. You took it, settling down into his palm. You watched as he carefully gathered your measly gift into his other servo and began walking in the direction you needed to go.

"So, you like this mech, and you're worried he doesn't like you." You nod. "Who is it?"

"I'd rather not say."

"It's not Ultra Magnus, is it?" You snap a playful glare at your friend. "I just needed to know, I'd still support you, but I won't be thrilled."

"No, it's not Magnus." you heard his vent of relief. Thundering footsteps filled the hall as Rodimus carried you farther a small way.

"so…"

"It- I, Drift," you whispered. "It's for Drift." You were thankful Rodimus didn't outright laugh. He did his best to stay composed. You could feel it in the way his digits curled for a moment, him gasping for air as he tried to talk.

"You think, he- you dont realize-" giggles filled the space between each attempted sentence.

"Yes, I like Drift. Go on, get it out. The little silly human is in love with a bot who probably couldn't care less, who's so far out of her league it's embarrassing." The lump in your throat returned, this time accompanied by a burning feeling behind your eyes. You took a few calming breaths, refusing to cry in such a frustrating situation.

"Oh stars, you're hopeless." Rodimus was smiling, oblivious to your emotional turmoil or not caring about it. "Trust me," he lifted you level with his politics, "He'll be thrilled."

***** Drift sat in his hab-unit, wondering how he could use this Valentine's day thing to his advantage. Find a way to earn some positive affection, and talk to you.

He was coming up blank; you were beloved. There was no way you would give up your time to talk to a bot who terrified you. If only he knew a way to quell your fear and maybe show that he wasn't such a bad bot. Drift heard his door open but didn't turn from his desk. His EM field told him it was Rodimus. 

"Yo." Rodimus walks over to Drift, and before he can turn, his friend grips the closest servo to him. Drift feels you more than sees you, as you're practically tossed into his servo. His optics widen monetarily, and he throws his other servo around you, desperately trying to keep you from falling.

You have his full attention, so much so that the sound of Rodimus putting your gift down on Drift's desk before walking out hardly registers in his audials. Rodimus' smug "You'll thank me later" rings aloud and as the door slides shut behind him.

Drift cautiously checks you over for injuries.  Slowly you roll over, sitting up and trying to look up into Drift's optics. 

Your eyes can barely go past his chassis.

"Are you alright?" Drift questions. His optics take over you again, first your body, then your aura.  

"Hi Drift, I'm alright" you raise your hand in a little wave,  you sound a little frightened, and he watches as your body tenses. "I'm sorry for-uh- barging in like this. But I wanted to bring you a valentines gift." you waved your hand to the small offering on the desk beside him. "It's been delivered, so I'll stop bothering you now, I'm so sorry to have-"

"You are not bothering me," he smiles down at you. You're nervous; that much is plain to see.  He turns his attention to your gift. While the box interests him, he takes the datapad first. 

"Roses are red, And you are kind. I hold you in my heart, always on my mind."

He watches from the corner of his optics as you become red, the color complimenting the flustered pink in your aura. 

"The poem is beautiful," he smiles, but you don't look at him in the optic. He puts down the pad and reaches for the box. The lid removes easily, and he is touched by the piece of energon candy you had inside. 

"Thank you for my gifts, though I will say I'm surprised you gave me one," your eyes snapped to his optics wide and hurt.

"Why, you're my friend." Your question was soft, so quiet should he had been organic, he wouldn't have heard it. 

"You're frightened of me, so I didnt think you would take the time to make me a gift."

"I'm not frightened of you," your hand reached our reassuringly to one of the digits around you, "What gave you that impression?"

Drift listed the clues he had gathered over the few months you'd been aboard, noting that with each one, a look of guilt took form over your face.

"Drift- I-I am not afraid of you," you stood abruptly, hopping from his hand to his desk "do you know what valentine's day is all about on earth?" 

"It's about showing your affection to those in your life," your smile made his spark hum. It was soft, there was fear, but he focused in closer and saw in your aura; it wasn't a fear of him.

"Correct, but only half correct. It's also about telling people who don't know you lo-" you took a breath. "Some humans use this day to confess their love for another person." He could see the struggle you had to keep your eyes at his optics. "Those things I did, the ones that made you think I was scared of you, I did them because I was nervous. I really like you Drift, I would go as far as to say love, but I'm frightened at what you'll do, what you'll think." 

He brought his servo to you again, two digits brushing your cheek and your hair. "If I were human, and it was Valentine's day, what should I do to quell your fears? How am I supposed to respond if I feel the same way about you?" 

You leaned into his digits, your body relaxing from a tension he hadn't realized you had been holding in.

"You just did."

[normal-thoughts-official]

One of the underrated moments of 3b was when Magnus told maryse he doesn't want to burden Alec and she tells him Magnus is part of the family now and he goes 😍 really?? 😍 and then alec tells him he is too much and u can see magnus taking a second to respond because all his newly formed hopes that maybe he isn't too much gets broken like its so heartbreaking that scene is so well acted we don't talk enough about it

god yeah!!!!!!!!!! everything about that moment is SO heartbreaking because magnus was finally daring to hope, after three seasons of expecting alec to get tired of him at the drop of a hat. he was always ready for something to be too much for alec and for the FIRST time he actually allowed himself to believe that alec was in it for the long run, that he would accept magnus even when he wasnt completely powerful and useful and put-together

and i dont think its just maryse saying that but specifically the fact that the night before alec had said "let me be here for you". it always breaks me that THIS LINE, not anything else, was what made magnus break down in his arms. because he had been trying so hard to keep it in and not be a burden and be cheerful and give alec what he wanted, and then alec begged him to just let him help and that. was so powerful because magnus felt so alone and he had been trying so hard not to put this on alec but then alec desperately ASKS him to. and it's such a shock and a relief and at the same time so terrifying his walls finally finish crumbling and he cries so hard his knees buckle and holy fucking shit that scene was so amazing too

so like who wouldnt feel a little more grounded after that? alec didnt just put up with magnus' pain, no, he asked magnus to please let him help him. to be honest. to cry and let alec wipe the tears and deal with the "ugly" parts of him, the fragile parts, the parts that couldnt stand to be strong on their own anymore. and that's all magnus ever wanted, yet didn't really dare to hope for

so for the first time he feels confident that he has someone to lean on. someone he can allow himself to crumble with, even if only for a second and then he's back to trying to get his life together. but for once he's not afraid alec will think he's too much and leave him. in fact, when alec says he needs a break, MAGNUS DOESN'T GET IT. it's such a stark contrast with the magnus who needed reassurance that alec didn't think less of him because of his father, or the magnus who said he never wanted alec to know about his past, or even the magnus from just a day before who tried to bolt and escape alec before alec saw him crumble for real. but i think it makes sense; because of that line from alec. how could he doubt alec would stay with him, when alec had just given him everything he ever wanted, possibly even more? this held so much significance for magnus; alec begging to be there for him was a complete game changer for him

and like dont get me wrong, that line from alec didnt single handedly solve his self esteem issues or anything, both because he still has a long way to go and because he had been learning, however slowly, to open up and let himself be supported for a century now. it's why he ever even got with alec in the first place; because he was daring to try to be vulnerable again. but that line, at the very least, changed magnus' confidence in their relationship. doubly so when maryse lightwood, of all fucking people, promised that they'd be there for him. and she meant it, too, because maryse doesn't say anything she doesn't mean, now does she

and im not going to get into the whole maryse lightwood redemption arc™ thing, but still. this matters. he felt accepted. he had people promising to be there for him, and holy shit, he actually believed them

and then it all immediately fell apart. and he was so confused and this very shaky confidence in his relationship with alec just crumbled. and thats what he meant when he said "i can't lose you too, alec" - not that he couldn't bear to live without him, but that this relationship was the one thing that was finally, finally helping him convince himself that it was okay to ask for help, that he had worth. that he was more than just useful and powerful and capable of helping others, that he had value for himself, too. that people wouldn't leave him to rot as soon as he stopped being worthwhile

it's also why he wanted to erase his memories, because the scar of that - finally allowing himself to believe, just for a little, that it was okay to not be put together every once in a while, only to have that hope completely crushed - honestly threatened his recovery so much, and could throw him back so far. like, don't get me wrong, alec was special to him, their relationship was special, and that also played a part. but one can live without romantic love, even a great one. and magnus had done it before, was used to it even. it's the impact it had on his self esteem that was too much to bear in a state as fragile as he already was

and in short yeah that scene hurts like hell

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hei! Jeg leser endelig dette! Og jeg er så glad for at du er ferdig med rapporten!💙💚

"The angel himself. The motherfucker." Lexi!!

Raziel is a bro and I'm laughing my ass off😂

David really be an angel🥺💙💙

“Well, I could have looked like a blonde, white girl,” Raziel suggested. “But I thought you’d find that a little distracting.” (THE WAY I LAUGHED AT THIS 😂😂😂 He's not wrong tho...)

HES BEEN LIVING IN HER FOR 10 YEARS??? WTF?? But it makes sense tho

"My girlfriend could have died!” “Uh,” Raziel said. “I thought y’all broke up?” “Raziel, you are on thin fucking ice right now.” (dont tease with my heronstairs feelings bitch🔪🔪)

"I kinda messed up.” Yeah, no shit!!!

He's got a point... But really??

You idiot shit!! Even I know that!!!

“Go to therapy, goddamn,” I firmly support this.

Ok, now the Belial thing makes sense

“If I die,” Raziel said. “You will all die with me" (I already knew that but HOLY SHIT)

Transmissomancy really is strong..

Now I undestand the Selena's power thing!!

Raziel said homophobia is a sin everybody!!!!

“Yo, we are responsible for overseeing the entire universe,” Raziel said incredulously. “Do you really think we have time to bother about who is sleeping with whom?” (I will print this and wave it at the family dinner 💙)

“Besides, it’s not that angels are entirely…you know,” Raziel grinned. “My brother Gabriel is kinda fruity.” (I shit you not, I fell off my bed laughing at this 😂😂😂)

OMG it all makes sense now!!

You are all clowns here dudes..

You dont know shit Raziel!!

I mean... They are princes of hell?? They are obviously planing something?!?!

“I didn’t give her the rune,”  Wtf??

I NEED ANSWERS!!

WOW. THIS. WOW. WHAT? I'M SPEECHLESS.

“I was just telling Rafe we are going to find him soon and bring him back.” 💙💙💙!!

“It doesn’t matter if he is God himself,” Honeslty I'm a little scared of them in the good way

I dont know if I like this promise...

I'm with Max in this one. Because Magnus would absolutely do everything he can to get David back even if it kills him and NO!

Also I'm with him with the apology thing 😂

"I will drag his ass out of Edom if I have to do it myself.” THATS MY CONSUL!!

Dont tell me they wont believe Lexi!!

Oh, never mind. They did. THANKS MAGNUS!!

"Two dreams," Magnus whispered, mostly to himself. "Two battles." (OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, DOES THIS MEAN CLARY AND MAGNUS' DREAMS??)

I'm so glad she told them!! No miscommunication!

“All of this happened…technically…because of Raziel?” Yeah, basically...

The Idris Rune!! The dots are connecting!!!

Oh shit, Clary must feel terrible 🥺🥺

Uh,” Simon replied. “I kinda summoned Archangel Michael and bribed him to give it to me." “You know,” Emma whistled. “Sometimes I forget how fucking cool you guys are.” (yes they are😎😎)

I will repeat this until I die. Gigi is a godness. She has solve half their shit!!

YESS, let Max go jfc!!

TMI GANG 💙💙

Julian is still scary...

YESS. Tmi gang are THAT bitches😎😎😎

Jace and Lexi fighting over Cortana>>>

“I don’t need an oath to make stupid decisions,” Magnus pointed out. “I’m completely capable of doing that on my own.” (tsc characters: a summary)

Anjali!!!! 🥺💙🥺💙🥺

"I see you, Alec told his son quietly. I see what you see in her" OK, but the parallels with "I see your heart, and why she stole it" WOW. Masterpiece. Talented. Brilliant-

I live for Alec and Anjali interactions!!

Roman is the cutest. I rest my case 💙💙

The way Gigi's brain work is just awesome!!

Love those law breaking lil shits with my life 🥺💜💙

“But I was raised by the gays!” Roman pointed out. “Are you sure that doesn’t help with my case?” (OMG I CANT WITH HIM 🤣😂)

Sister Emilia is a queen. Two queens in a room is just too much for me!!!

Omg they figured the ingredients!!!

"They are all different,” HOLY SHIT.

OMG IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE!! Now they just need the ingredients for two princes of hell🙂🔫

The way I get happy with every David POV 💙💙

“Look at this. Remember I was here. Remember I love you. Remember I am coming back.” MAVID SUPREMACY!!!!

David really said ✨healthy relationship✨

“Love belongs among fools, David Beauchamp.” “Well,” David said. “Then I am dumb as fuck (first of all, I LOVE WHEN THE TITLE IS MENTIONED I JUST JDBDKJSOS. Second, I love David<3)

“I keep reaching out inside you. I try to find something. But there is nothing. There is nothing for me to feed on. You have nothing for me to offer.” BECAUSE HE IS DAVID AND WE LOVE HIM. HE IS AN ANGEL

“I’m not abnormal,” David said in a ridiculous tone. “I go to therapy. Maybe you should try that sometime.” (Everyone there should, honestly)

“I asked Max why he loves you. But I suppose the answer is rather obvious. Darkness does look for the light.” DONT TRY ME WITH MAVID SLANG🔪

"The love he had for Max was impossible." My son is such a simp 💙💙😂

“I’ll admit I don’t know much about the boy. I’m afraid his parents never let me babysit,” And why would that be I wonder....

“Oh, David. Haven’t you heard?” Asmodeus grinned. “All the stories are true." (bitch no)

"And even after all these years, and even after all that therapy, David flinched at the voice." I have a pen right here and I'm in the mood to kill someone🙂

Coraline!!!

“Very good, mon ange!” OMG OMG OMG OMG

That man makes me sick because it also happens irl and I just...

“Coraline Moreau,” Asmodeus shook his head and passed David a leaflet. “She has made quite a name for herself, you know.” (wtf???)

Jia knew!!!

"And the vision disappeared. Just like Coraline had, all those years ago." I.... I have so many feelings....

But there was no pain. Only peace. “Thank you,” (Ha! Fuck you Asmodeus!!)

“There was only one monster in that story,” David said. “And it wasn’t her.” (David is simply beautiful and amazing and I'm so happy he realized that!!) (I wouldn’t have had that same judgment and first tbh)

CLACE RIGHTS!! Fuck you again Asmodeus!!

Dont you dare mess with Chopin!!

“I don’t like shitty fathers.” Ngl, that have me chills...

They are walking into a trap?? That makes sense, why am I surprised???

Wow. That chapter left me speachless. I love it 💙 In other news, I hate chemistry :)

Ha det! Ser deg snart! Hvil også litt fordi jeg vet ikke hvordan du klarer å skrive så mange sider😂

ilysm.

reading your thoughts give me the same out of serotonin my stories give you.

ilysm.

actual footage of me reading your reactions after each chapter:

[shadowhunterspolycule]

the first major snowfall in ages finally hit nyc recently and all im imaging is the Polycule attaching snowboards and the such to the back of simons van and them just being happy with snow day activities

oof, this ask is from so many months ago, i'm so sorry. i was very busy. i'm also not sure how great my answer will be because i'm a whole ass brazilian so i have no idea what snow day activies are, but i will try anyway

so, major advantages: meliorn has magic and maia is a werewolf and if i'm not mistaken it's said or implied that werewolves have a higher core body temperature than humans. or maybe i made that up, but it's canon for me

major disadvantages: raphael and simon are vampires, which means that technically they are kind of "cold-blooded" creatures? i mean they would still have other important temperature regulating mechanisms such as mitochrondrial heat production and muscle contraction, but they basically don't have a heartbeat/blood flow/arguably blood at all, which is a major way of regulating core temperature, and canonically their skin feels pretty cold, so like. they probably are more suscetible to temperature changes is what i'm saying (i'm mostly going off this source [link] for this. i'm already overthinking this answer good job me)

plus i am once again saying that raphael is from guadalajara which means that like me he is used to Worm Temperchoores, like, WAY warmer than NYC's, and he grew up without pretty much any kind of snow at all. and sure he's lived in NYC for years so he's SOMEWHAT used to the cold but he still spent his formative years in guadalajara, so like. he fucking hates the cold, is my point

but back to major advantages: meliorn and magic! which means they can do something about it. don't ask me what, but i'm sure they can do Something. i mean i'm sure to some extent the downworld has already figured out a solution to this problem cuz while it might not kill them (since they're immortal) it is very uncomfortable and probably makes them slower, which is a disadvantage to say the least. plus raphael has magnus who knows that raphael is a grumpy ass in the cold. also i think java is similarly hot so magnus Gets It, but idk what the temperatures usually are in jakarta

anyway my point is that magnus probably got some coats/vests/blankets spelled for his boy so they can keep him toasty (since they are otherwise kinda useless for vampires since they rely on trapping body heat and vampires don't have any) and vampires in general probably have access to that kinda stuff, but still, rapha gets grumpy and his face is still cold and everything is just awful and he doesn't understand how gringos do it. his complaints fly for about 2 days before the New Yorker Squad™ (particularly simon and maia, who drag clary and inevitably everyone else is there) decides that they've had enough of this and that raphael will learn how to enjoy the snow

he is like "i am not willingly going into the snow! you don't understand, i'm a vampire, i won't get back my body heat the way you do". simon: "i literally am also a vampire". raphael: "you're just a fledgeling, you wouldn't understand" "i've been a vampire for like, ten years!" "seven" "same thing" "it's so not the-" "i have gone through enough winters to be able to understand, and you, sir, are going to learn to enjoy the snow. have you EVER even made a snow angel?" "no" "well this changes today"

he literally has no excuse because meliorn has this super sweet spell that keeps him from losing heat so like. he doesn't even need a coat (he's still wearing it and preferably also a scarf and gloves because he is, first and foremost, dramatic) so he is forced to have a day off and go play in the snow, woe is him

(he tells the clan that should they need anything they should ring him, but they're like "nah simon has promised us pictures of you in the snow, we can handle ourselves" and it's not like raphael is too busy these days, really)

anyway! they have fun. simon strikes me as the winter lover kind of person altho really i think he enjoys all seasons in their own way, but like... hot chocolate and scarves and snow fights, yes? and while i think maia might prefer warmer temperatures she can double enjoy herself in the snow now that she's a werewolf because she gets less cold and like, damn, tell me that being a wolf and jumping headfirst into a pile of snow wouldn't be fun. you can't, unless you're a bad taste bitch

i also think maia is the building snow forts kind of gal because, idk, she just looks that way. and sure she's excited about kicking everyone's asses during snowball fight but FIRST she needs to have a full fort complete with towers and windows for her to throw snowballs from and shit

rapha is the one that helps her build it the most cuz he likes the motions and besides it is a little less energetic than whatever it is that the rest of these wackos are doing. again izzy didn't get any chances to play in the snow either so naturally clary is dragging her around from snow activity to snow activity and running around everywhere and holy shit they have so much energy. simon is there as well naturally and eventually they make it their goal in life to ruin maia's and rapha's fort, which ends up kickstarting the mandatory snowball fight. even tho maia only has a half complete fort

(eventually when everyone has left maia and rapha will come back and finish the fort. it's the principle of the thing. raphael also wants to build an igloo or some shit and maia rolls her eyes but actually i can see him being into building snow things? it's just soothing and nice and quiet and he can pretend there's Elegance and Finesse to it)

and meliorn is just watching them curiously the whole time because of course they know snow but they dont really know about Snow Activities these funky little non-seelies dedicate themselves too. i feel like the seelies have their own snow activities, maybe like, festivals? dances with the snowfall and games to welcome the change in the environment, that sort of thing. but they are nothing like snow angels ("it doesn't look like an angel in the slightest, just like you kept moving your legs and arms in the snow" "thats what it is" "right, so...?") or snowmen ("also doesn't look like a man" "meliorn we aren't exactly artists") or snow fights (altho that one they can appreciate) and they're really interested in like participating even though they dont understand and everyone has to keep telling them that it's Not That Deep and izzy is so amused she just kisses them one billion times

eventually they start doing it just to get more of those laugh-filled kisses of hers

also at least one of them, probably izzy of rapha or meliorn since they are the snow ignorant ones of the group, is absolutely horrible at making snowmen. probably izzy tbh because shadowhunters dont exactly have a knack for these things. like clary's snowman is all artistic and simon's is fun and creative, maia's is pretty, raphael's and meliorn's look like the Platonic Ideal Of A Snowman, and izzy's looks like A Pile Of Dirt. clary giggles at it for an embarrassing amount of time, which inevitably leads to izzy taking the snow from her snowman to throw snowballs at clary and triggering a new snowfight

and then they have some soup inside and cuddle under a blanket as they fight over what they should watch and all is well with the world

[barry-j-blupjeans]

anything blupjeans if u dont mind... u wrote them so well in that last fic

There was something sickeningly familiar about the group of travelers Barry had assisted earlier. He got that feeling a lot- the “I know this, but something isn’t right” feeling. But they built the feeling tenfold, tore his mind in half, tried to stitch it back together. It was hard to look past the static he saw when talking to them.

Taako, Merle, Magnus, and... and Lup. Why couldn’t he think about Lup without aching? Everything about her was familiar. Her jokes, her laugh, the crinkles on the edges of her eyes, her freckles. Their hands brushed when she tried to steal his sword. Barry had never blushed so quickly in his life. Barry had never offered someone to take and keep his only weapon before, but he wanted to give everything to Lup.

Maybe he was cursed. Maybe those adventurers put an enchantment on him and that’s why they were so odd. He couldn’t get Lup and her staticky speech out of his head. He knew her, didn’t he? He had to have.

The coin said he was missing something, someone. Was Lup that someone-

“Fuck,” Barry hissed, gripping his head. He blinked to clear his vision, trying to focus back on the task at hand. In the middle of the bar was a very on-fire dwarf. He hadn’t spotted anyone yet, but-

“You okay?” the innkeeper said, quietly, worriedly. “You need to get down and hid with the rest of us. We can’t have anyone getting hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Barry gritted. He stood, waving Gundren’s attention towards him. “Hey- hey, uh, Gundren, bud- woah-!”

A jet a fire barreled towards him. Barry stumbled and scrambled his way out of the inn, away from everyone.

Who knew where this brash confidence had come from. Trying to save people felt natural like he had done it for years. But there was still the doubt that these people might not survive and-

“Oh, Barry!”

Shit, shit, shit, the adventures were here! Lup was here!

“Oh, my Gods, you’re back!” Barry said, running towards them, Gundren hot on his tale. “You guys, you gotta help me, I’ve never seen it— him like this— well, obviously, I’ve never seen him engulfed in flames and all magical and shit, but if things are really bad, you guys, you gotta calm him down.”

There was an orc woman with them now. Barry didn’t know who the fuck she was, but she was agreeing with him, so he was thankful for that.

Something had obviously happened between the time that Barry had left the group and now. Gundren was yelling about orcs? Merle was trying his best to calm him down, but it wasn’t working.

And then.

And then Gundren was shot with an arrow.

And then Barry was dead.

And then all he could think was SHE’S ALIVE, SHE’S ALIVE, SHE’S ALIVE

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking    of   replacements    fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

[im-out-of-it]

here we go again, part 10 of season 2, episode 8 “love is a devil” LEAVE ALEC BE

*side note- heavy anti clary at the end because Alec is everything and she’s nothing and I hate this whole scene for Alec he deserves better (but y’all know I’m heavy on the anti cc anti clary anti jace and etc)

137. here’s a video of Alec going off

138. Izzy knows she’s fine as hell

139. it was a good try Maryse but we will pick up another day on #letsgetridofjacealready day

140. I can’t believe I never added this one

141. I love with this whole exchange, Izzy’s like “I don’t have time for this” because that’s how i feel when clary exists

142. to be fair, Izzy feels like clary is calling her out when his actually about Simon lmao

143. and isn’t it funny she said “I never meant to hurt you ” when jace says the same thing to Alec in the Malec episode, and both Izzy and Alec say I know

144. ah shit is escalating

145. I HATE THIS PART SO MUCH

146. MY POOR FUCKING BABY LIKE CAN WE NOT

147. WHY IS ALEXANDER ALWAYS THE ONE GOING THROUGH THE MOST SHIT LIKE CAN WE NOT LET HIM HAVE A BREAK ALREADY LEAVE ALEC BE HES BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

148. Alec: guess I’ll go off myself

149. but can we seriously talk about the grief that is still there for Alec and always will be? “magic can’t create fears” Magnus says later on. Alec really thought this was the only way to escape his thoughts and escape the grief. and honestly for something he doesn’t do, he seemed to pay a whole lot for. while clary and jace get to do whatever without any consequences mostly. (I see karma being why clary got her angel gift taken away) (because they get to hurt Alec and Izzy and Simon and Maia and Magnus and it’s a ok but Alec accidentally lets a demon in and kills clary’s mom without his consent and his will is being taken away and how dare Alec he must feel bad for eternity) (honestly the writers did Alec so bad with this and with episode 12)

150. Alec is the only one who seems to pay over and over and over again and clary isn’t doing this on purpose because she’s hallucinating but it makes you wonder how she really feels. Alec already feels guilty enough and this is the last thread that has come undone. once again, alec did not deserve this treatment. I love the show so much but why did they keep making the gay character go through the most shit???? everything from season one, to almost taking his life, dying almost three times in season two, once in season one, another time in season three, and almost losing the love of his life THRICE. PLEASE BE KIND TO ALEC AND PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

151. not like you didn’t deserve to be killed jace

152. MAGNUS FORGET INSECURITIES GO GET YOUR MAN NOW (also clary is nowhere near him so does she expect to grab his hand or shit like girl stop, he’s in this mess because of you. all of this either leads back to Jocelyn which leads to clary and is a cycle so a lot of it is their fault. there wouldn’t be a need to infiltrate the institute if Valentine was trying to distract them so Valentine could get Jace from the city of bones. so almost everything that happens is either jace or clary’s fault so fight me on it I don’t care) (and yes I fucking blame them all) (Alec always pays for everything jace and clary do like they should be grateful once Alec became in charge that he didn’t send their worthless asses to idris) (and I blame Jocelyn a lot because she didn’t care if Alec almost died finding jace so she could find clary)

153. also can we talk about how devastating this must have been for Magnus to witness? (I’m posting the full scene on the next part DONT worry) having to see the love of his life take his life and almost not be able to stop it

154. POOR ALEC HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS. and it’s not just thinking of it like Alec was full on falling and thank fuck mags was there to save him 🥹 and I know I shouldn’t hate clary for this but I do. everything that has happened to Alec is her fault. I never once saw Jocelyn clary jace feel bad for how they treated him and Alec is full on killing himself at this point. GIVE MY MAN PEACE (and blah blah blah they are all under spells but those fears are there and those insecurities are already there so it makes me wonder how much of clary meant this) (and maybe it’s more Alec’s fear and insecurity but i still don’t like her or trust her)

stopping at 155 and there’s a little over two parts left I would guess so I may end up trying to finish up tomorrow

[princelestatdelioncourt]

Ok I just need to say this.

Someone mortals mentioned Armand is more mature than I am. I am not going to rant and scream and cry as you might wish but there are some points that people I am sure missed when while reading both my book and Armand's.

And what I will say here is none to make Armand or myself better. Or like its said...Armand more mature than I am.

So let me explain, it all started with this:

“I’m trimmed in memories as if in old furs. I lift my arm and the sleeve of memory covers it. I look around and see other times. But you know what frightens me the most - it is that this state, like so many others with me, will prove the verge of nothing but extend itself over centuries” ~ Quote from Armand taken from the book ‘The Vampire Armand’

Then comments began

"Armand is more mature than Lestat. Lestat is not mature at all. Armand is fully matured becasue all he went through. Lestat was born with a silver spoon in Lestat mouth. Aristocrat. This is why Lestat will never be mature. Armand was poor and had a poor family, Armand is more humble that Lestat will be"

Oh Really? Again I am not saying Armand is not mature. Hell, how long has passed since he was born? 600 years ? Some maturity should he has that sad icon painter. But to say I am not mature and never will? Really?

Let me tell you this.... Have you forgotten I was raised poor with no food even if I was the Marquis son, with no money to even get a glass of wine? Have you forgotten how many times I was beaten by my father and brothers when all I wanted is to be happy and get away from that misery dark cold in ruins castle where I could do nothing but to stay there and swallow their words and hate? Have you forgotten by the age of 13 and 14 I had to do the duties my father should have done, which was hunting and providing? Have you forgotten how so many times we had no food and I had to go hunting everyday and good look if there was something I could get and provide? Have you forgotten that I only had 1 pair or pants, boots and shirt and slept on a straw matters and that the first beautiful garment I wore was that red clock and boots Nicolas's father made for me after the wolves? Have you forgotten I wanted to do good and learn and I was sent to the monastery and when I wanted to stay they got me back by force and took my books and locked me in my room? Have you forgotten that I was beaten repeatedly when I went acting becasue I wanted to do good making people to forget about their lives and give them happiness on that moment to make them forget about their pain? I was never happy, Never. Every time I was everything was taken from me. Even after I was given the dark gift. I was happy with Nicki and once again alone and trying to figure out things by myself.

Armand suffered as a kid, yes he did but still as mortal he had this beautiful life when Marius rescued him and he lived with him in luxury, he had food and beautiful clothes and brothers that loved him and Marius teaching him things!! He had a father and a teacher!! I had non of that, NONE. He was able to read and write and paint. Me, 21 and still had no clue how to read of write, what a shame and I had Nicki to read everything for me. No one had the patience to teach me anything but I had learned things by myself, when I went hunting, when I tried to escape, when I did things either if it was good or not, it was Me, no one else, I was trying! I wanted to do good and learn and know. I was my own teacher and pupil.

I am not complaining on Armand, again yes he has suffered, absolutely he did but so I did. He had Marius and he loved Armand and Hell just think about it how much I wished I had a father like Marius, a maker like him!! To give me the blood and staying with me, a guide!! I only had Magnus for 1 hour and what I learned from him. Go to sleep in that sarcophagus every sunrise and stop drinking before the heart stops and here is my treasure and spread my ashes. What else? What i should do? what was going on?? Why me!?? Call me reckless, brat, narcissist....whatever you want...just dont forget all I had to go through as well.

Each an everyone of us, has its own story. Maybe all of us are narcissists, possessive, brats, etc ...we all have had our own pain, doubts and we have learned from experiences and situations.

I have done some many things since that first night that I was given the blood. I went to discover, to know, to ask, to do something other than to hide in the darkness and complain to why I am this now. So many ups and downs. Surrounded by my beloved ones then left alone again. I have done some good things and some bad things but at least I have discovered. I moved on. I did something, I learned and yes I have matured.

I love you mortals, I really do but these things said are no true and you know it. I just hate some just want to see what you want and not the whole picture just because it appeals more this person or that. We all have our issues so do not judge saying someone is not mature becasue we are in a world of discovering and learning things and we will have mistakes, so we are all no mature and we will mature while discovering. Understand?

I am open to discuss this on a mature way. Ask me if you wish. I am here, ready. Go ahead.

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//I am sorry I had to write this. I am not disrespecting anyone. Lestat has his own pain as well. All of us love our characters so much and I understand we will defend them or discuss them becasue X reasons. I personally have been called immature and I know how much that hurts. Is not fun and for me, having this character of Lestat as part of who I am, becasue I have quite a few things in common, I felt this was while reading that. I am not trying to make this drama, I just hope that people understands that even if its only characters should not be disinterested. I dont know how to describe it so it makes sense and does not sounds like I am crazy. Perhaps all of this was said with no intention to hurt anyone and I took this to the core becasue it happened to me. I should have not interfere my life to just a characters life. But sometimes I cant. I might be just crazy. And again, I am not blaming anyone here. Perhaps just take it as if Lestat saw that and he is just writing about it. This is a blog after all and we are the owners of it and we publish whatever we want right?. So here is mine for today :-)

I love you all!!!

[frienderbender]

(Metalrat) I’m required to ask about Pickles or Magnus for the character breakdown game. XD Hope work goes well today! :)

i can do both! :] and thank you, work was ok today. better than last week anyway.

ill put it under a cut since its two characters and it will get a little long haha

PICKLES

How I feel about this character: i love pickles sm i think hes such an essential character not just in terms of being the drummer but really with his personality. i love how the others confide in him and i just love how hes arguably the most emotionally intelligent comparatively. just a cool dude. if i had to pick one member to hang out with, it would be him

All the people I ship romantically with this character: as ive said, im really casual about shipping in general and will probably enjoy just about whatever with him, but i do like pickles and nathan, and if i had to pick a favorite charles/band member ship, it would probably be him and pickles? maybe? that said, i feel like my fave pickles relationship is still him and magnus?? but preklok, obviously. i dont think they would ever fully reconcile or get back together, and i really enjoy the dynamic of them as exes. that said...i do still find myself feeling a little warm when i think about them being sweet and madly in love before everything went down.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: LOVE pickles and tokis friendship. wonderful. fantastic. perfect. i think toki took to pickles really early on and often went to him for advice or comfort. good stuff.

My unpopular opinion about this character: uhhhhhhh i dunno. i cant say ive really seen anything so often that rubs me the wrong way when it comes to like, characterization or whatever. ive definitely read some fics here or there where i was kinda iffy on some stuff, but in general i cant say theres anything big that comes to mind. i feel like people seem to be generally on the same page with him, which is interesting

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i really wish we got to see pickles during his snb days! like actually during the height of their popularity yknow?? i wanna see the band perform back in the 80s and all that. also i really would like to see more family stuff, but that goes for everyone tbh...maybe see him when he ran away and all that. ALSO. ALSO. i NEED to see him interact with his nephew its important.

pickles just has so much to him and i just wanna explore it all!! hes such a fantastic character

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MAGNUS

How I feel about this character: i love you grandpa. nah but fr though i think magnus has so much potential, i think hes fascinating

All the people I ship romantically with this character: like i said, him and pickles. man. just super interesting. i think him and mma is really funny too but like in a one-sided "so what are you doing after this ;)" way that ends with mma just impaling him yknow. purely for comedic purposes lmao

My non-romantic OTP for this character: man i wouldve done anything to see him and toki actually hang out. on my ever growing list of episode ideas ive written, at the top is an episode of him and toki hanging out at mordhaus and the rest of the members just trying to avoid him lol

My unpopular opinion about this character: uhhh idk i think hes both a goofy villain and also deserving of more analysis? if that makes sense? i think being both is possible; i know a lot of my faves from other things fit into that exact box. i also think there was a time when the original dethklok really did love each other. i think magnus really did care about them. he wouldnt still have that photo if he didnt, right?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more screen time...please.....and my absolute dream episode would be a whole episode about them before they were famous, so magnus would be there too. give it to me now‼️‼️

i just really enjoy magnus and he has one of my favorite character designs. just deserved more to him i think! i feel like all the stuff was there to do more but we didnt get that and its a shame! maybe he will reappear in the new movie, but im not getting my hopes up haha