#the way i wanna bite him and tear him apart like a chew toy

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Man I have GOT TO get back on my Crash Bandicoot shit just fucking look at him I NEEEEED this little freak in the worst of ways he does such indescribable things to my brain GAHHHHHH 💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘

[bunnylovesani]

A Rough Ride

Summary: Getting fucked in Anakin’s car. That’s about it.

Content Warnings: MDNI, major daddy issues/kink, p in v sex, degradation, mean dom/sub dynamic, spanking, fingering, slapping, cum play, facial, aftercare

WC: 1.8k

Hearing critical comments about your controversial relationship with a man 20 years your senior was nothing you weren’t used to. After several months, you’d acclimated to the jokes about how you must have daddy issues and how he must be a creep; the bottom line was that you loved Anakin and he loved you, the rest was just noise and it didn’t bother you in the slightest.

It was a whirlwind romance- a glance shared across a late-night bar led to a steamy night in a dirty motel room which led to the following 6 months of sex-fuelled fun. Guys your age just didn’t know how to fuck the way you needed to be fucked- you needed a man of experience, a man of skill.

That’s how you ended up bent over the backseat of his Ferrari, face pressed firmly against the leather interior while he roughly pounded into your cunt. You couldn’t muster up anything besides the occasional cry of “Harder daddy, please!” and “Mm, ’s so good…” and he chuckled dryly at the way you fell apart on his cock.

“Harder baby? You sure? I don’t wanna ruin this pretty pussy.” He hardened his grip on your hips, self-control slipping.

“Yesyesyes- please daddy ruin me.” You babbled, drool leaking down the side of your face and ruining your makeup.

“Alright darling, you got it.” He muttered under his breath, sloppy thrusts getting rougher and faster. “You’re such a daddy’s girl, aren’t you baby?”

You nod and let out a little “mhmm!”, chewing your bottom lip raw.

“Daddy’s good girl…y’know what happens to good girls?” He asks you, smacking the palm of his hand against your ass cheek. “Good girls get to cum.”

You whine and claw at the upholstery, knot in your tummy growing.

“Stop whining or I’ll give you something to whine about.” He growls and you look back at him in confusion, pretty doe eyes staring pitifully up at him.

“Good girls also shut up and take it.” He lifts his hips and buries his cock to the hilt, abdomen firmly smacking against you. You scream at the extra inches he’s given you and his movements come to a standstill; he usually restrains himself because he knows you can’t take his whole cock but he must be in a brutal mood today.

“I’m gonna start moving now, and if you can take it- I’ll let you cum. If you can’t, you’re gonna get on your knees instead. Understood?”

You nod, tears pricking at your eyes. You wanted to cum so badly but you weren’t sure if you could take such a rough pounding with his full length.

Slowly, he moves his hips back before pressing into you, tip kissing your cervix. You bite your fist and bury your forehead into the seat, trying so hard to be a good girl and not make a sound but after almost an hour of relentless pummeling, you were at the end of your rope.

“Good, stay nice and quiet f’me.” He grumbles as he begins to go harder, near-silent squeaks escaping your wet lips. You begin to slide your way out of his grip, distancing yourself away just a little to ease the pressure.

“Come back here.” He grabs your hips and impales you right back onto his dick with a stubborn grunt. Teeth marks form on your clenched fist and a wet spot pools on the back seat, spit connected between the puddle and your parted mouth. The feeling of him so deep in your guts is deliciously agonising and you can’t help but to give in and let him fuck you like you’re his sex toy. Once you stop fighting the intrusion, pleasure comes over you in intense waves, beads of sweat trickling down your back as you tremble. Squeaks of discomfort are replaced with quietly guilty moans of pleasure and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Anakin.

“Listen to me, you little slut.” He rakes his hand up the back of your head, firmly gripping your hair and roughly bringing you up to him. “You better not cum yet.” Your brows upturn and eyes glisten in a pleading countenance. “If you do, there will be consequences.” He warns you with a mischievous smirk, almost hoping you disobey him so he can have fun making you regret it.

You want to listen to him with every fibre of your being but you have no control over your own body when he’s fucking you like this. With an aggressive push, you’re thrown back onto the seat and you grip the side of it so hard you leave scratches all over the leather. Scrunching your face up, you feel yourself failing- disobeying his order as you’re pushed over the edge to your release. You try to stay still hoping he won’t notice but the way you clench around his cock, making it glisten with your creamy arousal is a dead giveaway.

“Oh now you’ve done it.” He scowls and pulls out suddenly, making you tense up in anticipation of your punishment. “Get on your knees.”

You uncurl out of the ball you’ve scrunched yourself into and follow his command, positioning yourself between his legs.

“I’m gonna cum all over that pretty whore face of yours.” He grabs the base of his dick and strokes himself, maintaining eye contact as he jerks off to the image of your angelic face.

You stick your tongue out as he comes undone, hot cum squirting out and landing all over your mouth and cheeks. You giggle happily as he rubs his spent cock around, letting you lick up the creamy mess. He comes closer and grabs you by the cheeks with one hand, rubbing his cum all over them before smacking you suddenly with an open palm.

“You like getting slapped around by a man twice your age?” He hits you again, firmly enough to leave your cheeks reddened but not so hard that it stings. He saves that for when you’re really bad.

Nodding, you beam with glee as you raise yourself off your knees, wanting to cuddle up to him like you usually do once you’re done but he stops you.

“Oh no, sweetheart. That wasn’t your punishment. Bend over my lap.” He tucks himself into his trousers and zips them back up before leaning back to allow you to take your position. Somewhat confused, you follow his lead and prop yourself over his legs, ass perched up in the air. His warm calloused hand glides over your ass and you hum contentedly, relishing in his touch. Abruptly, a loud smack is heard and your cheeks jiggle with the tremor of his strike.

“A-am I getting spanked, Ani?” You choke out in shock.

“Yes, you are baby. This is what happens when you misbehave. Daddy has to discipline you.” He calmly explains as he slaps you again, a little harder this time. You feel his hand trailing down to your pussy, fingers rubbing against the slit before slipping down to your throbbing clit. You’re so sensitive that you start squirming in his lap- a move he quickly puts an end to when his big-knuckled hand presses harshly against your back- pinning you down like you were an unruly kitten.

He leans over until his face is hovering above your ass before spitting a thick glob of saliva over your pussy, the drool seeping down to your hole. He groans as he smears it around before pushing two fingers into your throbbing hole, already sore from being fucked raw.

“Aniii…” You moan, burying your face into your hands as a sudden wave of shyness comes over you.

“What’s the matter, baby? You don’t like daddy makin’ you feel good?” He coos as he fucks you with his fingers, lewd squelching sounds filling the steamy car. “What’s wrong, my angel?”

“N-nothin’ daddy, it’s just- mm- too much!” You pant, head swirling.

“You can take it baby, you’re my big strong girl, aren’t you?” He murmurs softly and you huff breathily. Another slap lands on your rosy cheeks as he curls his fingers deeper, “Aren’t you?”

“Yes, daddy, yes- I can take it!” You sniffle, trying to compose yourself but the way he��s stretching you out coupled with the salty taste of his cum on your tongue has your concentration in tatters.

“Aw, you just need someone to take care of you, don’t you baby?” You sob out “mhmm!” in response and feel another orgasm coming on- he’d made you cum so many times you’d lost count.

“Daddy’s gonna take care of his baby.” He rubs the small of your back comfortingly while his fingers plunge in and out of you, pushing you over the edge into your release. You whine and wail as your thighs shake and he shushes you soothingly until you calm down- limp body collapsed over his lap.

“C’mere baby.” He opens his arms and you jump into them, wrapping your arms urgently around his neck.

“Woah darling, you okay?” He places his broad hand on the back of your head, tucking you into his warm chest.

“Y-yeah. I’m just- ugh!” You choke out frustratedly, tears streaming down your face from how overwhelmed you felt.

“Shh baby, shh- I know.” He coddles you and you let yourself sob into him. He made you feel such strong emotions you didn’t know how to handle them- so you often curled up into his lap and unravelled after a particularly intense round.

“How does some hot chocolate, your favourite movie and a fort of blankies and plushies sound?” He lightly nudged his nose against yours and you perked up instantly.

“Sounds amazing, Ani.” Your heart warmed with how he cared for you, it was unlike anything you’d ever had before.

“We just need to get through this first.” He rubs any remnants of cum off your face with his sleeve, smoothing your frizzy hair down with his other hand. “We kinda chose an inopportune moment for this…”

You poke your head up and remember your surroundings- you’re parked in a dark alley around the corner from Anakin’s house. His friends and family had gathered for a Christmas dinner being hosted at his place and it was meant to be your first time meeting most of them. Glancing into the front view mirror, you gasped at the sight: your makeup was utterly ruined- mascara smudged, lipstick smeared and your hair looked like you’d been dragged through a bush.

“Ani! How ‘m I supposed to meet them like this?” You mewled, wanting desperately to make a good first impression considering the controversy and disapproval that surrounded your relationship.

“I don’t know baby, you should’ve thought about that before you started acting like a little brat.” He shrugs, opening the car door and stepping into the crisp winter air. “You coming?” He held his hand out with a self-satisfied smirk, eager to show off the mess he’d made of you.

Taglist:

@crazy4hotmen @erinkeifer @mortalheartache @arzua10 @mugwump327 @offthethirlwall @bby-imasociopath @slvttedoutmars @emmalandry

[pagodazz]

do you have any habit and Evan analysis to drop cause I never see people talk about them and their bond.. in my eyes habit and Evan are like a wolf and a rabbit in the way that habit has so much power, but also I feel like Evan could almost tame him.. I don’t know how to explain it and I think tumble has a limit for asks. Hope you understand what I mean.

DUDE IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED. I have theories. I have MANY theories and thoughts about these two it makes me absolutely insane. Just like pretty much anyone else in this fandom, Evan and habit are the ones who introduced me into this series, and they were just so intriguing to me that I had to know more. Ofc my interests got stolen by a certain film student but. Evan and habit are JUST AS SPECIAL TO ME.

(The cover isn't working I'm so sorry idk what's going on 😭😭)

Now I wanna start off with what you said about Habit being a wolf and Evan being a rabbit, and I think you're VERY correct, yet I do have one thing I would like to add to this however I think it would take a VERRYY long time for Evan to "tame" habit, Habit is not something that WANTS to be tamed, he doesn't really want to be treated with gentleness. And Evan doesn't exactly want to treat habit with any gentleness or tame him at all.

The one thing about Evan is that he's the perfect toy for habit, he's the perfect one for him, his perfect fit, their souls or their lives are intertwined even if they both don't want to be.

I see their relationship more like a dog and it's favorite chew toy, the dog will bite and tug and pull, but It'll never rip it apart, and if it does, the dog will feel regret and it'll will go get it stitched back up just to go back to playing.

------------------

Habit will however take care of this vessel, to those who think he treats it like shit???? you clearly don't understand habit at all. He needs this vessel, he wants it pristine, perfect, powerful. He will clean this body, he'll feed the body, he'll keep it in the best shape he can, all while he rots it from the inside, because no matter what, habit is a parasite taking absolutely everything from Evan.

I feel like Evan himself is alot more likely to ignore his own needs thinking it'll have some kind of damaging affect on habit, but habit will get into his head, he'll whisper in his ear about Evan needs to take care of himself, Evan needs to be strong for everyone and everything. He can't be weak, he'll be of no use to ANYONE if he's weak. Habit will tell him he'd be of no use to Vinnie if he isn't taking care of himself, and that will always get Evan going enough to do SOMETHING.

Although I think food is something that might be ruined for Evan, especially meat. He can't bite into it without being brought to tears at the idea of his teeth sinking down into human flesh again and he'll have to spit it out and scrub the taste and the blood out of his mouth. So when habit is in control, that's when he has to do the eating, habit has to be the one to nurture this body like it's his own.

------------------

Evan is practically convinced him and habit are one, he thinks that habit is just a manifestation of his deep inner impulses the ones he'd never dream of doing but that replay in his mind over and over again. And he thinks Habit is there to force him to act on these impulses as punishment for the want he experience.

Habit however knows him and Evan aren't one and he makes sure that people know that. he could give less of a shit about the way Evan actually FEELS he just wants his body in good condition. When you're being possessed by habit, you're no longer yourself, there's NOTHING of your personality left, you are PURELY Habit. He'll change your clothes, he'll change your hair, he'll do whatever HE wants because your body is HIS. And that's exactly how it is with Evan. He owns him, Evan is BUILT for him. it's not the other way around.

---------------------

Habit will in fact feed Evan fake memories and trap him in horrific nightmares on repeat, leaving his mind weak and easy to keep in control. The more disoriented Evan is, the easier it is to take over and use his body the way he wants to.

That being said though, Habit isn't all THAT cruel to Evan, atleast earlier on the series. Earlier on he's trying to "help" him in ways. He's protective, he'll scratch at Evans brain screaming to be let out the MOMENT Evan is in danger, only to purr with delight when Evan gives in.

I take them switching in their head as like habit taking the lead in a dance, Evan is still participating, but it's not really all up to him, he's just following habits lead, taking the advice he's given. Because that's one thing Evan is REALLY good at. He's the BEST at doing what he's told. and for something like habit??? that's just how he likes it.

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I hope you enjoy these anon. I don't really view their relationship as very soft in many ways, they're nothing like Michael and Patrick, if anything habit would be offended at the assumption that he's ANYTHING like Patrick Habit is NOTHING close to human, he still doesn't feel the way Patrick does which I think makes it impossible to have true control over Evans body, because he refuses to WORK with him. Habit wants to be in full power and not share, but in order to achieve full power bro needs to share HELP.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖈𝖊 II || professor!helmut zemo x reader

{𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 I} 

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 : your illicit relationship with your (former) professor forces both of you to consider if the risk is worth the reward.

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 : 9k (jeeeesus)

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 : smut (oral f and m receiving, rough sex, creampie, massive amount of dirty talk), zemo being super cocky, smoking (just zemo, not the reader), alcohol consumption (zemo and reader although the latter is moreso implied), angst (not a ton but yeah), strip chess (does this require a warning?), zemo’s friends being sorta sleazy, one mention of/implied anal, brief violence? (one punch)

part 3 coming asap!

                              You watched his eyes slowly scan the board, darting from his pieces to yours and back again.

“You’re stalling,” you accused, breaking the silence.

“I’m thinking,” he mumbled back right away, never looking away from the board as he rested his chin in his hand.

“Think faster,” you instructed with a groan, leaning back in your chair and looking out the window instead.  When you saw movement in the corner of your eye, you looked back again, but he just sighed and moved his hand back into his lap without doing anything.  “Oh my god!” you exclaimed, rolling your eyes.

“Wait, wait, I’ve got it,” he grinned, finally grabbing his knight and moving it forward.  “Check.”

You looked around the board to confirm he was right, and he cleared his throat expectantly.

“I said, ‘check’,” he reminded you.  “Stand up.”

“You’re really going to make me do this?” you pressed with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I’m not going to make you,” he smirked, “but you’re going to do it because your only alternative is to forfeit.”

With a sigh and a little smile of your own, you stood up and unbuttoned your shorts, sliding them down your legs and stepping out of them quickly.  His face was irritatingly neutral as he watched you strip, only your bra and underwear left now, but his eyes gave everything away as they examined you with even more care than they had the chess board.  

“You know, this whole ‘strip chess’ idea isn’t exactly going according to plan,” you frowned, sitting back down in the chair and crossing your legs.

“What do you mean?  Of course it is,” he grinned.  “Oh, you mean, your plan… yes, I hope my suit coat is keeping your entire outfit good company over there in the pile.”

You scoffed defensively.  “If you wanted to get me naked, you could’ve just asked.”

“I know, darling.  This was just to get you to slow down for once.”

You coughed a little, shocked by his brutal honesty.  “Damn, shots fired,” you mumbled to yourself, and he laughed.  

“Now, it’s your turn to see if you can get this tie off,” he smirked.  “And do hurry it up, so I can show you what happens when I get a checkmate.”

His apartment was, unshockingly, so much nicer than your dorm; so it wasn’t so odd that you spent most nights here each week.  Well, perhaps it was a little odd since you had practically moved in and you’d only been seeing him for a few months… but you were happy, and he was happy, and you were trying desperately not to overthink it.

Your schedule was carefully crafted so as not to include any Friday classes, but obviously as a professor his itinerary was a much more traditional 8-to-5 no matter the day of the week.  As a result, it was typical for you to lay around his place through most of the day, working on your laptop or occasionally mooching off of his HBO Max account.

You were doing just that when you heard the key in the front door, and you scrambled to turn the TV off so he wouldn’t think you were being lazy… but when he entered, you were still laying on the couch wrapped up in a blanket, so you didn’t exactly look productive either.

“Hey,” you greeted, sitting up and resting your arms on the back of the couch as he took his bag off his shoulder and hung up his jacket.

“Hey,” he mumbled in return, sounding a bit distracted and not even looking back at you.  You furrowed your brow as he sat down on the couch beside you, letting out a heavy breath and staring up at the ceiling.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked, pouting as you moved closer to straddle his lap and run your hands over his chest through his button-up.

“Well, the thing is,” he sighed, taking off his glasses with one hand to rub his eyes with the other, “tomorrow is my birthday.”

“Wh— that’s a good thing!” you scoffed.  “Let’s do something!”

“My fortieth birthday,” he clarified.  “Tomorrow, I will officially be twice your age.”

You sighed a bit.  “That really bothers you, doesn’t it…”

“Does it not bother you?  It should,” he snapped, deflating you instantly, and his tone softened.  “I’m sorry.  That was harsh… I just feel guilty, sometimes.  I wouldn’t want to take advantage—”

“I’m a grown adult, Helmut, I know I’m younger than you but I’m not a child and I can make my own choices.”

He nodded.  “You’re right.”

“So then what’s the problem?”

“I…” he paused for a moment, chewing his lip slightly as he gathered his thoughts.  “I would just hate to see you regret this.  And I think, when you’re older, you will.”

“Let me worry about that,” you frowned.  “The future can be dealt with later, we should enjoy the present while we can.”

He laughed softly.  “I think I have an idea of what you consider ‘enjoying the present’...”

You smiled as you leaned in closer, holding his face to press your lips against his.  It was pretty innocent at first, until his hands began to rest at your waist and you sighed slightly, feeling your hips shift above him.  He grinned, teeth gently nipping at your bottom lip.

“What do you know?  I was right,” he whispered.  “You’re turned on already.”

It made your cheeks burn when he called you out like that, like he was mocking you for how easily he could make you desperate, and you looked away in embarrassment.  “I can’t help it!” you defended in a pout.

“I know,” he cooed, kissing your cheek and neck softly.  “I think it’s sweet, really.”

That made your cheeks burn even more, and you looked back at him again to find his brown eyes sparkling.  “Really?”

“Really.”

You trailed your fingers over his cheeks, scratching his beard a little bit which made him scrunch up his nose.  “Well, I think you’re sweet,” you giggled.  “And you know something else?”

He raised an eyebrow and you leaned in to speak closer to his ear.

“I think it’s sexy that you’re twice my age,” you whispered.  “Well, that tomorrow you’ll be twice my age.”

“Yeah?” he pressed, fingers just barely grazing over your skin as they trailed down your legs.

“Yeah,” you nodded, moving your hands to his chest where you started to slowly unbutton his shirt as he sighed.

“That explains why you can’t seem to keep your hands off of me,” he chuckled, looking down to watch your fingers brush over the patch of hair on his chest and toy briefly with the necklace he wore.  

“Well, that’s more just because I know how good you can fuck me, and I’ll never be satisfied by anything else,” you admitted, biting your lip.

“Darling, I don’t think you’re even satisfied by me… I already made you come this morning, don’t you remember?”

“Yeah, but that was different,” you pouted, “that was your fingers and it was right before you had to leave and I was still half-asleep…”

“Whatever it is that you want, draga, just say it,” he ordered in a whisper, holding the back of your neck and pulling you closer so you had to look back at him.

It was a lot harder to say with him staring right at you, but you swallowed and did your best.  “Need you to fuck me.  Wanna feel you inside me, please.”

His only answer was a quick nod before he kissed you, rough and dominating, letting you cling onto him while he stood up and carried you to the bedroom, falling with you onto the mattress.

He made a big show of kissing his way down your body, tearing your clothes out of the way on his path, eventually leaving you in only your panties which he examined with a grin as he held your legs open.

A shiver ran up your spine when he caught the lace in his teeth and used only a playful bite to pull them down your legs.  

Once the panties were off your ankles and he had tossed them aside with a flick of his head, he held your thighs as he dove right in, lapping at you hungrily while you moaned and your back arched.

He purred against you when your fingers wove into his hair and tugged slightly, but you honestly didn’t even mean to do it: you just needed to hold onto something to keep yourself from falling back into oblivion, and it seemed like a more attractive option than the bedsheets.

His lips attaching onto you and sucking your clit hard was already overwhelming in its own rite, but then two thick fingers began to push into you and it was impossible not to cry out, your bottom lip falling from where it had been caught between your teeth.

“Fuck!” you yelped, hips shaking and trying to rock up against his face as he curled the tips of his fingers against your spot right away.

“Close already, draga?” he cooed, words muffled since he didn’t fully pull his mouth away from your body before he spoke.  “I’ve only just started.”

You could only nod and feel your face heat up even more; at this point you had no right to be embarrassed by how sensitive you were when he’d already proven to you over and over that he could bring you to the edge in minutes.  But still, apparently some little shred of shame was still left in you, and you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was determined to train it out of you.

“If you’re close then now would be the time to start begging,” he reminded you as he moved his fingers faster and teased your clit with the tip of his tongue.

"Please, Helmut," you sobbed as you writhed uncontrollably, "I'm so close— fuck me, please, I want your cock."

"So you don't want to come on my fingers, then?  You don't want me to make you come with my mouth?"

"No, I want you to fuck me, please… you know I need to come around you."

Not one to let you down when you pleaded like that, he pulled his fingers out and suddenly flipped you onto your hands and knees, chuckling when you gasped.

“This is how you want it, isn’t it?” he presumed as you heard him finishing the undressing process behind you until you finally felt the head of his cock pressing against your soaking entrance.

“Yes,” you breathed, “just fuck me, please—”

You cut yourself off with a high-pitched noise when he shoved into you, this angle giving you no relief from how deep he was filling you.  One of his hands was beside yours, keeping him balanced upright above you, and you watched it tighten into a fist while the other slid up to hold your neck in a way that was simultaneously intimidating and soothing.

When he started to move, each stroke rubbed against your swollen spot and you struggled not to fall apart right there and then.

“So perfect,” he breathed right against your ear, almost like he was saying it to himself more than you, “you feel so fucking perfect, draga.”

Of course that would make your back arch even more, pushing him deeper into you in search of not only more friction within you but more of his praise whispered to you.

Soon it was you pushing back against him more than him fucking into you, and you felt his proud smile press against the curve of your neck.  “You need it that badly, darling?”

“Need you,” you whined back, not really capable of a full sentence at this point. 

“I know,” he whispered, soothing you with kisses all over your cheek and neck and shoulder.  “I know, poor thing, you just need to come, yes?”

Your mouth fell slack as you nodded, rocking back into him faster and more desperately than ever.

“You need me to make you come?”

“Yes, fuck, please!” you cried, hoping he wouldn’t get irritated with you becoming so demanding, but thankfully he obliged and held your body tight as he really fucked you then, hard and fast and completely unforgiving— exactly how you needed it.

Every part of your body seemed to tense up in time with each other: your toes curled, your hands gripped the sheets beneath you in fists, your walls fluttered and tightened around him.  

When you opened your mouth to speak, you genuinely didn’t know if you should expect a scream or a whisper.  What came out was somewhere in the middle, slightly choked and completely fucked-out.  “Please, don’t stop…”

“Couldn’t if I wanted to, draga,” he groaned, his fingers rubbing your clit roughly as he fucked you even harder, slamming into the deepest parts of you until you were choking on your own sobs.

"I— hng, Helmut, I'm—" you tried to warn him, but you couldn't even put a few words together.

"I know, darling," he cooed, "shh, just come, go ahead and come for me."

He sucked hard on your pulse as your legs quivered and your body gave out; if it weren’t for him holding you tight against him, you would’ve fallen on your face onto the bed (and you may not have even noticed if you did, since you were suddenly going numb and tingly everywhere).

Just past the ringing in your ears you could hear him muttering curses against your skin, in a few languages you didn’t speak, before switching back to English to praise you in a growl.  “I love feeling you come around me, draga, keep going— you’re squeezing me so tight that I can barely keep it together.”

Tears streamed down your cheeks from the force of it, and his hand reached up to wipe them away— a gesture much too tender considering the way he was pounding into you like he was out for revenge.

"Fuck, I'm close, so close," he breathed, grunting with every thrust into you.

"Come in me, I want it so bad, I need it…"

His teeth sunk into your neck, his lips sealing and sucking on the delicate skin, as he let out a muffled moan and began to fill you.  The warmth of it was always indescribable, but perfect; a heavy exhale of relief sunk from your chest out your lips.

You were able to stay like that for a long moment before he let you go and you inevitably fell limply onto the bed, just barely beginning to catch your breath and come back down to reality.

“Fuck, that’ll leave a mark,” you groaned as you rubbed where he’d bitten you, but you were smiling, too.

You watched him get up and stretch briefly; you were pretty impressed he was still energetic enough to do anything but collapse onto the bed beside you, though you certainly didn’t mind the view as he walked to the window and acquired a cigarette and his lighter.

“Isn’t smoking after sex a little stereotypical?” you chuckled softly.

He smirked back at you as he placed the end between his lips.  “It’s the only time I smoke, so I’m going to blame you for how many packs I’ve been going through,” he countered, words slightly muffled from holding the cigarette.  He struck his lighter and carefully lit the end, taking a slow inhale before letting the smoke out through his nose.

“Believe it or not, I didn’t have such an… appetite, before you,” you admitted.

“You’d never had anything worth craving before,” he shrugged; how dare he be so casually cocky like that?  How dare he be so accurate?

Deciding you definitely needed a shower (though you would’ve loved to lay there catatonic for a while longer), you managed to sit up and get off the bed.  The only problem was that you severely overestimated the awakeness of your legs, and when you tried to stand on them, they buckled right away.

He dashed across the room to catch you, concerned at first but then smirking around his cigarette as he looked down at you in his arms.  "Are you alright, darling?"

"Yeah, I'm good," you nodded breathlessly, balancing on his arms as you found your footing.  "Thanks."

“You don’t need my help in the shower?” he pressed.

You rolled your eyes as you laughed, letting go of his hands.  “We both know your ‘help’ isn’t going to get me clean.”

“You’ve got me there,” he admitted, raising his hands in relent as he returned to the window while you finished your delicate trek to the bathroom and reached into the shower to turn on the stream of hot water.

Though the shower thankfully did get the sweat off of you and (most of) the come out of you, it could never wash away the feeling of his touch, the little bruises in the shape of his lips or fingertips, and thank god that it couldn’t— your heart might break if they ever faded.

Of course, that made you start wondering which made you start overthinking (a common shower pastime for you) and suddenly a pang of fearful guilt started to throb in your gut as you wondered if your feelings were becoming too strong.  

You pushed the thought away and finished up your shower, deciding now was not the time to worry where this affair was going.  Didn’t you deserve to do something fun and crazy and a little bit dangerous for once?  At least you weren’t in his class anymore so what you were doing was less ‘wrong’ and more just ‘probably a bad idea.’

But this bad idea had been going on for a few months now and sometimes it felt like you were barreling towards an inevitable breaking point.  Could any relationship that began in the way yours had find longevity?  Is that even what you wanted?

Okay, so maybe you didn’t really manage to successfully stop worrying about it, and you sighed absent-mindedly as you dried off with a borrowed towel.  If anything could soothe your racing mind, it was coming back to the bedroom to find Helmut in bed, his cigarette finished and replaced with a book and his reading glasses.

The way he smiled when he saw you was infectious, and he extended his arm out in invitation for you to join him and, well, that offer was irresistible.

You beamed as you jumped onto the mattress, which had settled from its bouncing by the time you found a comfortable spot on his shoulder and lifted your leg to drape over his.  

Your head found a place on his chest while your fingers traced over it, trailing down at one point to his stomach where you delicately traced over the scars there— the ones you’d been too afraid to ask about before now.

“What happened?” you asked softly.  “The scars…”

“A dog mauled me when I was little,” he remembered flatly as he turned a page in his book.  

“Oh no!”

“Not as bad as it sounds, I can’t even remember it now,” he shrugged.

“Anything interesting?” you asked, motioning to the book and looking up at his profile as he returned to his thoughtful reading.

“Something horrifically boring,” he answered flatly, looking over at the bedside table when his phone vibrated on top of it.  Setting the book down and grabbing the phone instead, he squinted as he looked at the bright screen.

“What is it?” you asked after a brief struggle not to be nosy.

"Another professor in the department is offering to take me out for drinks, for my birthday," he explained as he examined the message.

"That's sweet of him," you smiled.  "You should go!"

"Well, actually it's a 'her,'" he corrected.

Oh no, there it was, stirring in your stomach: jealousy, for no good reason, with no right to start stirring in your chest.  Of course in your mind, this female professor was sexy and sophisticated in a way you couldn't be, someone who could keep up with his discussions about history and politics that you barely understood, someone who could do all those things you couldn’t do. 

Including, you know, going to bars… like the one she was inviting him to now, on the night of his birthday.

“Well that’s… nice,” you mumbled.  “Is it just you and her, or…?”

He paused as he processed the question, before suddenly smirking and setting his phone down to stare back at you.  “Do you think she’s asking me on a date?”

You couldn’t parse at first if he was asking you because he thought you were being ridiculous for thinking it, or because he genuinely wanted your perspective— as if he would be happy if she was.  It made a lump form in your throat that you couldn’t quite swallow down.  “I… I don’t know, maybe?” you shrugged.  “How old is she?” you, morbid curiosity getting the better of you.

“I don’t know, 30-something?  Like I will be for the next—” he paused to puff his cheeks with a sigh and glance at his watch— “5 hours or so.”

You tried to hide your disappointment that he didn’t give a number like 60 or more.  “I don’t think you’re allowed to say 30 ‘something’ when the ‘something’ is 9,” you snorted.

“Okay, she’s in her late 30s then,” he decided.

“Well, that’s…” you trailed off. 

“What?” he pressed.

“I guess it’s probably a date, then,” you decided.

“It’s definitely not,” he shook his head.

“Does she know that?” you shot back, regretting it once you said it.

“Seriously?” he laughed.  “Do you think something is going to… happen between her and I, at this bar?”

“Well, maybe not at the bar, she’ll probably drive you to her place in her BMW or whatever,” you scoffed.

“Draga, she’s a history professor, she can’t afford a BMW,” he smirked, kissing your forehead.  

“Okay, but she has a car, and an apartment, and a job— you know, maybe she’s more ‘in your league’,” you proposed.

He laughed again.  “Yes, maybe she is.  And maybe you’re out of my league.  So I think we’ve established that it would be entirely uneconomic for me to be with her instead of you.”

You noticed the way he said ‘being with’ and not ‘date’ in reference to this.  Because you two weren’t, technically, dating, even if he did take you on what could be considered dates by most of the population.  “People do uneconomic things all the time,” you mumbled back, and he let out a little sigh as he looked down at you.

“Darling, I am entirely disinterested in pursuing another woman… as well as physically incapable.  I can barely keep up with you, how do you expect me to entertain somebody else?”

You swallowed, feeling a bit guilty for bringing it up at all.  “I’m sorry, it’s really none of my business,” you sighed, “I didn’t mean to ask you for anything, you can make your own decisions and I know we said this wasn’t—”

“Shh,” he interrupted to hug you tighter, “you’re overthinking again.  I’m not going to sleep with someone else—”

“But I’m saying you could, if you wanted to, I’d just want you to tell me since we aren’t using condoms and we would probably just call it off—”

“Baby,” he smiled, making you look up at him as he reached down to hold your face in his hand, “I just want you.”

You choked on nothing in particular, feeling so vulnerable so suddenly.  “O-okay…”

He held your head close to his chest and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, while you were still reeling from that statement; you didn’t know exactly what it meant— it certainly implied exclusivity, but not necessarily any romantic contexts, right?  To ‘want’ someone can mean a lot of things… sexual, mainly, which is what you assumed he was referring to.

And you were definitely not disappointed if he only wanted you in only that way, but you couldn’t swallow down the longing stirring inside you, the unforgettable knowledge that you wanted him in every way that could be meant.  Best of all, you wanted him all to yourself, but you were too self-conscious to bring up the exclusivity talk and you were too happy now to risk messing it all up with pesky emotions.  It was just amazing sex, between two people who thankfully managed to get along well outside the bedroom as well, and there was absolutely wrong with that.

If nothing else, you knew a lot more about history than you did a few months ago, so if it all ended tomorrow, at least you would have some fun facts about Sokovia to show for it.

When your friend Kacey told you there was a house party this weekend, you were originally going to say no… but the house in question was actually just down the block from Helmut’s apartment, so you knew if you hated it you could leave easily.  Maybe getting out would do you some good, and it was the same night that Helmut was going out with his friends for his birthday so the timing was convenient.  He encouraged you not to wait for him alone and bored all night; this seemed like the perfect way to avoid that.

And maybe if you were getting dressed up all sexy to go out to a party at the same time he was supposed to leave for the bar, you could convince him to ditch them and spend his birthday fucking you senseless.

When he caught a glimpse of you while he walked past the bathroom, he stopped suddenly and you grinned as you turned to face him.  "Whaddya think?" you asked proudly, letting him get an eyeful of your outfit.

“You look…” he trailed off, scanning the skin-tight dress with wide eyes.  “Do you always dress this way for parties?”

You shrugged.  “Most of the time, yeah.”

“Remind me to take you out more,” he nodded.  “Or never let you go out without me again.”

“You don’t think it’s too revealing, do you?” you teased, stepping closer.

“Oh no, don’t play that game with me,” he laughed.  “Don’t try to make me jealous just so I’ll get rough with you.”

You frowned, crossing your arms.  

“Does that tactic usually work on whatever boys you were seeing before me?” he smirked, and something about the way he called them boys made you feel all tingly and suddenly you were not the one in control anymore.  You nodded shyly and he stepped up to you, pulling you into a soft kiss.  You tried to deepen it but he moved back too soon, leaving you wanting more like he could do so effortlessly.  “I’ll see you tonight, have fun at your party.”

He left you with one more kiss, to your forehead this time, and you were almost more impressed than irritated at how he managed to make sure you’d be thinking only of him all night long.

Not too much later after he’d driven off, you left on foot for the party— though you definitely considered cancelling last minute and just moping around his apartment, staring forlornly out the window wondering when your husband former professor turned not-exactly boyfriend would return from the war bar.

But you had a point to prove to yourself, as well as Helmut and Kacey, and so you finished primping and found the walk rather pleasant in terms of scenery (if irritating in terms of fashion).

As far as house parties go, it wasn't quite a rager but not exactly a casual hangout either; you could hear the music from across the block, though faintly, as bass reverberated through the ground and into your platforms while your friend waved you down from the porch, calling your name.

She met you at the sidewalk just in front of the house, pulling you into a tight hug; you had been worried at first that you were overdressed (or, in a certain sense, underdressed), but her outfit was significantly more revealing than yours; a two-piece with her stomach and belly button piercing exposed.  

“You look hot,” Kacey beamed when she pulled back from the hug.

“You think so?  I’m a bit out of practice,” you admitted.

“Glad you could dust off the heels and join us,” she winked.

“Us?”

She glanced back towards the house.  “Yeah, Pia’s here— somewhere…”

Another junior in your major; as the most social girls in the computer science undergraduate stratosphere, the three of you were sort of forced to be friends, but thankfully it wasn’t for naught and you got along well.  Sometimes Kacey could be a bit… effervescent for your taste, in the sense that she was one of those bubbly outgoing types and had more energy than you knew what to do with.  Pia was more reserved but acquiescent, which meant she ended up pulled along on whatever adventures Kacey got herself into you.  And then there was you, who had been blowing them off every weekend with a list of increasingly-absurd excuses: sick dog, sick cousin, sick self (both migraines and menstrual cramps), heavy homework load— you know, the usual suspects— all in the name of hanging out with Helmut.

You considered yourself lucky that they still wanted to hang out with you, after you’d been AWOL this long, and you feared that they would understandably want an explanation.

Following Kacey inside the house, you tried not to wince at the volume of the music— a live band, it turns out, and not a very good one— and grabbed a stray drink from a table on your way to wherever you were being guided.

Pia was sitting on the arm of a couch, listening to a very stoned young man talk about the meaning of life and the universe, but she smiled when she saw you and Kacey, getting up to greet you.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in forever!” she frowned playfully, hugging you quickly.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you mumbled.  

“We should catch up!  How have you been?” she pressed, tilting her head.

“You’re sure you don’t wanna miss this TED talk?” you snorted, glancing over at the guy who had changed topics slightly and seemed to have confused string beans with string theory.

“I’ve heard better philosophy from the back of cereal boxes,” she laughed, but right as she said it the band finished their song and everyone glanced in your direction, including the heartbroken hippy himself.  “Uh, sorry,” she winced, and Kacey laughed as she guided the three of you away.

“I’m gonna get us some drinks, wait here,” Kacey decided once she found a new corner to lounge in, but Pia abandoned you soon afterward in search of a bathroom, leaving you to do what you did best at parties: stand around and avoid everyone’s attention.

You were surprised to hear your name from behind you, and when you whipped your head around you saw a tall guy with a wide smile looking down at you.

“Professor Zemo, right?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, and you nearly choked on your drink.

“Wh— what about him?” you stammered out.

“We had his class together,” he explained.  “I sat behind you.”

“Oh!” you smiled, relieved.  “Right, um, yeah…”

“Trey,” he finished for you.

“Trey!” you repeated, nodding.  “I knew that… hi, Trey, good to see you.”

“How’s life been treating you since you set the curve in that class?” he grinned.

“I don’t think he even graded on a curve,” you mumbled.  “But, um, good.  Just… livin’ it up,” you decided, cringing internally at your own wording.

“Yeah?  I haven’t seen you in any other history classes,” he noticed.

“Oh, I’m not a history major,” you explained quickly.  “Computer science.”

He chuckled incredulously, wrinkling his eyebrows.  “What were you doing in a history seminar?”

Fucking the professor.  “Elective,” you shrugged.  

“So you’re just a hobby history buff then?” he presumed.

“No, I actually kinda hate history, I prefer to live in the present,” you decided, “but, y’know, underwater basket-weaving didn’t have any seats left…”

He snorted out a laugh, a little too hard for the quality of the joke, and you realized this was probably flirting.  You’d never really seen it up this close, so you couldn’t be sure… and considering how he looked in his jeans with the shirt half-unbuttoned, you weren’t exactly mad about it…

But it made you feel sort of sick to your stomach.  It made you feel guilty, on behalf of Helmut but even moreso for Trey who was totally sweet and smart and deserved to be spending this energy on somebody who could appreciate it.

“Want another drink?  Looks like yours is almost empty,” he motioned to your red plastic cup.  

“Oh, um, I would but… I think my friends are coming over here,” you dismissed, hoping he would take the hint without taking it too hard.  He seemed to understand, giving you a nod and a wave before he disappeared into the crowd right as Pia grabbed your arm.

“Who was that?” she asked right away, giving you a look that you chose to ignore.

“Trey, he sat behind me in my history class last semester.”

“He’s cute,” Pia winked, leaning against the wall beside you.  “And definitely into you.”

“Well, that’s… good for him, I suppose,” you stammered.

“Are you gonna go for it?  Get his number?” she pressed.

“Uh, probably not,” you decided, “I’m gonna get another drink—”

Before you could walk away, she grabbed your wrist and pulled you back.  “Hey, what’s the deal?  You seem kinda out of it.”

“Oh, well, I just— I guess I’m not as much into the party scene as I used to be.”

“I’m using my psychology major mind-reading powers,” she warned, waving her fingers at you like she was casting some mystical spell while you leaned back and squinted.

“Um, that’s definitely not how that works—”

“You’re acting weird becaaauuuusee… you’re totally hung up on somebody else and feel guilty flirting with guys here even though you know you shouldn’t,” she announced, crossing her arms proudly when your dumbfounded expression gave away her accuracy.

“How did you—?”

“Lucky guess.  So who is it?!” she grinned.

“Uh—”

Kacey, summoned by the smell of gossip, seemed to appear from thin air at your other side.  “Who is who?” she smirked.

You glanced around at the crowded room of students and decided this was definitely not the place to talk about such an illicit affair, taking them by the hand and dragging them into a more private room of the house.  Finding a seat on a chair as the girls gathered around you (oddly reminiscent of a childhood storytime, except this story was going to be a lot more mature than those), you prepared to answer as many of their questions as you could.

As a European, Zemo was quite well-practiced at going out to bars with friends, but in America it was a very different experience.  It took him twice the alcohol to get half as drunk as his colleagues, meaning by the time he was feeling a decent buzz, everyone else had foolishly tried to keep up and ended up totally sloshed.

The person who had initially suggested this event (as well as the one you had foolishly felt some sort of jealousy for), Dr. Josten, had actually respected her own limits and left first while she was still good to drive, meaning Zemo was left only with men who couldn’t hold their liquor or their tongues.

Case in point, a bunch of his fellow professors were now trying to convince him to go up to the bar and flirt with a woman in a red dress.

“No, no way,” Zemo shook his head, “I’m not doing that.”

“You could totally take her home, just tell her it’s your birthday!” Professor Bram, from the English department, suggested with an elbow digging a bit too hard into Zemo’s side.

“Does that normally work?” he asked bewilderedly.

"I mean, not for me… but it could work for you!  Ladies love an accent."

“You’ve been teaching stateside for over a year now, Zemo, it’s time for you to experience American women,” one of them laughed.

“Who says I haven’t?” he mumbled to himself before another sip of his vodka, but unfortunately some of the others heard him as well and he got a playful punch to the shoulder.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!  Was it just a hook-up or what?”

“No, I… well, I’m seeing someone, I suppose is the way to put it,” he clarified.

“How long?” Kacey asked you first, right away, as she leaned in excitedly.

“Um, a few months now,” you realized.

“No, I mean how long,” she smirked, gesturing with her hands to indicate length, and you snorted.

“Jesus, I’m not telling you that!”

“Buzzkill,” she rolled her eyes.

“Plenty long enough, that’s all I’ll say,” you laughed.

“How’d you meet her?” Professor Carpenter (another history department veteran) asked.  “I mean, you’re never anywhere but work… is it someone you work with?”

“In a sense…” Zemo trailed off.

“So, is he in one of your classes?” Pia wondered aloud.

“Um, he was, last semester,” you agreed.  It wasn’t false, by any means, but definitely not the entire truth, either.

"So, another lecturer,” Professor Chen (Zemo was about 80% sure he was in the political science department) nodded thoughtfully.  

“Gotta be somebody from the Women’s Studies department,” Bram smirked proudly, despite it not being a statement to be proud of at all.

“Or is it that woman here on the visiting scholar program, the temporary lecturer in neurology?” Carpenter jumped in.

“No, he said she was American, c’mon, keep up,” Bram frowned as he slapped Carpenter on the padded shoulder.

“Delta or Sigma?” Kacey squinted, like it was an interrogation.

“Not a frat guy, some of us have standards Kace,” you scoffed.

“Hey!” Pia gasped, offended on Kacey’s behalf.

“Nah, she’s right,” Kacey soothed.

“She’s not a lecturer, okay?” Zemo hissed, tired of having basically every department of the university listed to him (including some he didn’t realize existed).  “She’s not faculty.”

“...staff?” Chen posited.

“What, you mean like the janitor?  No, not staff,” Zemo rolled his eyes.  “I shouldn’t have said anything.  It’s none of your business.”

“It doesn’t matter!  What’s with the secrecy?”

“I haven’t told anyone about it yet, and I don’t think I’ve had enough alcohol to start now,” he frowned.

“Which of your classes was he in, then?” Pia asked, shifting her line of questioning (and unfortunately looking in the right direction).

“Um, that history thing I took last semester,” you answered.

“That guy from before was in your history class!  Should we just ask him who it is?” Pia grinned mischievously.

You cursed yourself for giving away too much.

“I’ll go find him and see if he’s going to give us more to work with you than you,” Kacey decided, already standing up to walk out of the room.

“No, wait!” you yelped, pulling her back; you didn’t want to tell them anymore, but you couldn’t afford if someone like Trey found out.  Telling Kacey and Pia wasn’t ideal, but at least they could be trusted with a secret.  “I’ll tell you, okay?  Fuck, I don’t even know how to say this…”

Chen tossed up his hands in defeat.  “Alright, the only reason you could be so weird about this is if it’s somebody totally forbidden—”

Zemo’s chest tightened as he worried they would figure it out.

“Like, I don’t know, an adjunct or something.”

“An adjunct?  Are you out of your mind?” Zemo spat.

“Hey, no judgment in brainstorming,” Carpenter defended.

“You think I would be this protective about it if it was an adjunct?” Zemo continued.

“Listen, we’re not gonna think less of you, whatever it is— and we’re not gonna tattle on you,” Bram assured.  “Just get it off your chest while the liquor’s flowing, half of us aren’t even gonna remember it tomorrow anyways.”

“I’m dating a professor,” you blurted out.

“She’s a student,” he finally interjected, the entire table suddenly going dead silent.

“...a grad student?” one of them pressed, making Zemo swallow uncomfortably.

“Um, no… she’s actually… twenty,” he admitted.

“Holy shit,” Pia gasped.  “You actually did it…”

“We bow to your hoe powers,” Kacey spoke reverently, clasping her hands as if in prayer.  “We’ve all dreamed of bagging a hot professor and now you made it a reality.  Please, O Queen, teach us in your ways.”

“It’s not like that,” you defended.

“Is she at least getting a better grade out of you for it?” Carpenter joked.

“No, it’s not like that,” he dismissed, “she passed my class with flying colors quite some time ago.”

“Okay, but was that before or after you slept with her?”

“It was irrelevant to the fact that I slept with her.”

“So, after,” Chen assumed with a smirk.

“Yes, after,” Zemo finally admitted, “but she’s not my student anymore.”

“Is she your girlfriend then?”

You gnawed on the inside of your cheek.  “We… haven’t really had that conversation yet.  I keep meaning to, but then… one thing always seems to lead to another…”

“Oh really?” Pia grinned.  “So what’s he like?”

“Sensitive…” you mumbled right away, “patient, weirdly funny though I don’t think he realizes it.”

“I know I’m going to sound like every creep who ever preyed on young women, but she’s very mature for her age,” Zemo explained.  “Incredibly thoughtful.  Wise beyond her years.”

“No, no,” Johnston shook his head, “what’s she like.”

"It's nothing like how it is with guys our age,” you gushed, clutching your blanket tighter to your chest.  “He's so attentive, and sensual, and he can go for hours," you explained as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at the memories playing on repeat in your mind.

"You must understand that she's nothing like women our age, at least not any that I've met," he nodded as his friends set down their drinks to lean in close.  He was sure this was more attention than he'd ever gotten for one of his lectures.  "She's… insatiable.  She wants to go again and again and I'm just trying to keep her from getting injured or something, poor thing."

"So she likes it rough?" one of them presumed with a toothy grin.

"She's so inexperienced she doesn't really know what she likes yet.  She's learning with me.  So we try everything."

"Everything?" one of the girls repeated as she widened her eyes.

Your face warmed up as you cleared your throat.  "I mean… yeah…"

"So, anal?"

You choked on nothing, which said more than any answer could.

"I shouldn’t talk about this with you,” he decided, shaking his head.

“Come on, you don’t have to tell us everything, just give us something to work with here,” Carpenter pleaded.  

“I don’t want to know what you mean by work with,” Zemo shuddered.

“At least tell us how you got her to sleep with you,” Chen compromised.

“Or let us do a guest lecture in your class so we can try to find our own undersexed sorority girls,” Bram added.

“Jesus, how many times do I have to say it’s not like that?” you frowned.  “I’m not turning this into some fucked up teacher-student dating service.”

“You keep saying what it isn’t like but you won’t tell us what it is,” Kacey noted.  “I mean, is it serious?”

“All I can say for sure is that I feel pretty serious about it,” Zemo tried to explain.  

“...are you in love with her?”

He cleared his throat, suddenly deciding now was the perfect time to finish his drink.

“Love?” you repeated, voice cracking.  “I don’t… know about that,” you stammered.

But the really upsetting thing was that you did know, and you hadn’t let yourself think about it until now.  It hadn’t been long enough to justify feelings like that, and the last thing you wanted to be was the naïve girl who caught feelings when all the guy was looking for was sex.

“It’s not just sex,” he announced.  “It’s something really real.   I didn’t know that I could—”

He stopped himself.

“I haven’t felt this way since—” he began, but stopped again.  “I don’t know.  Just, be careful how you talk about her.”

“Oh, you’re really whipped,” Bram chuckled.

“She’s incredible; you’d understand if you met her.”

“Then let us meet her!”

For a moment, he actually considered it; he wasn’t sure if you thought that you were at the ‘meeting friends’ stage, and considering the cultural difference it was going to be a unique one for sure.  Would you ask him to hang out with your friends?  He didn’t even know what that would look like.

“She seems like someone worth getting to know,” Bram agreed, and Zemo grimaced at the predatory look in his eyes.

“Fuck off,” he sneered, and Chen patted him on the back.

“Good move.  I’d be keeping her to myself, too… otherwise she might end up upgrading to a tenured professor like myself,” he beamed.

“Better watch out before Chen here steals your girl, Zemo,” Carpenter warned.

“She can’t be stolen,” Zemo assured.

“Yeah, you say that now…” Bram trailed off.

“Care to finish that sentence?” Zemo snarled.

“Well, think of it this way.  Most students wouldn’t fuck their professor,” Bram explained.  “But those that would, usually wouldn’t only fuck one.”

He didn’t punch him in the face because it was crude.  Sure, that was a factor, but it wasn’t the real reason.  He punched him in the face because it sounded like it actually made sense.

He punched him in the face because he couldn’t understand why it made him so angry; so what if he was just one of your exploits?  What difference did it make?  After all, you’d just said the night before that he was free to pursue others, and he couldn’t quite appreciate yet why that didn’t feel like freedom at all.

From a certain point of view, he knew he should just appreciate that you were with him at all, irrelevant to whoever else you might be with or would potentially be with in the future.  But from another, and much more salient, point of view, he wanted you all to himself.  And he hated that.

Like all good anger, his anger in that moment was born of fear, and he’d never been so afraid that he was just the lucky target of your promiscuous phase.  As selfish as it was, he wanted to think of himself as more than that.

And now that he was getting thrown out of a bar on his own birthday, contemplating the paperwork he would have to fill out tomorrow after punching a coworker tonight, he’d never thought of himself as less.

Much to your delight, he returned relatively early for a guy coming back from a bar on his birthday— 11:57 p.m., specifically— but it made sense for him being a responsible professor and all.

Well, mostly responsible.  After all, he still had his former student waiting for him when he got back, perched on the couch expectantly.  As fun as the third degree had been with Kacey and Pia, you wanted to be here when he got back— and now that they finally understood the real reason you were leaving early, they were more than supportive (perhaps a little too supportive, with their rather graphic suggestions and… hand gestures).

You didn’t stay on his couch for long, though; you got up and met him at the door as he slipped off his coat and hung it up nearby.

“How was your night out?” you asked softly, reaching up to rub his chest through his shirt.

“Um, it was good,” he nodded, “I missed you though.”

“I missed you, too,” you sighed.  “I was here all by myself thinking about the present I want to give you.”

“I told you not to get anything for me,” he remembered, gasping slightly when you pushed him back against the door.

“Just be gracious and accept your gift, okay?” you whispered, starting to kneel down and open his belt.

“O-oh,” he breathed.

You palmed his cock through his trousers, biting your lip as you felt it swelling already.  “I didn’t wrap this gift… and I forgot to get you a card to go with it.”

“Somehow I think I’ll find it in my heart to forgive you,” he chuckled, though his smile dropped when you pulled his cock out and stroked it slowly.  You had meant to tease him a bit but you found yourself sucking on the head already, too desperate for even your own plans; not that he had any issue with it, you could hear his breathing quicken as you bobbed your head slowly and stroked what your lips couldn’t reach.

He was still getting harder and the feeling of it on your tongue was so hot it was almost distracting, it made you want to reach down under your dress but you knew you were going to need your full attention on him if you were going to do this properly.

Closing your eyes, you kept taking him deeper and deeper until your lips met the base of his cock while his tip was lodged deep down your throat.

“Fffuck,” he hissed, “where did you learn how to do that?”

You pulled back and took a breath, stroking his cock as you responded.  “I’ve been practicing, all for you.”

It made his cock flex in your hand to imagine you gagging on your fingers or a toy in hopes of learning how to deepthroat him, let alone to know that it worked.

You took him in your mouth again, swirling your tongue around his slit until he reached down to grab your hair— not hard enough to guide your movements, he was still letting you set your own pace, but hard enough to tug at the roots and make you moan around him.  Slowly, you sunk down again, humming and swallowing around him, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

“You’re too fucking perfect,” he sighed, watching closely as you pulled off of him even slower, running your lips and tongue over every part of him.  “You— fuck, you really don’t need to do this.”

“I want to,” you breathed, darting your tongue out to give a wide lick to his head.  “I’m already so wet just from this, Helmut… I want you to fuck my face.”

“Shit,” he cursed, gripping your hair tighter.  “You’re sure?”

You smiled and nodded.

“Then open your mouth."

Never one to turn down an instruction like that, you let your mouth fall slack and hummed a bit as he pushed his cock forward past your waiting lips.  After that it was just a matter of letting your throat relax and focusing on your limited chances to breath as he held your head and guided you.  

Whatever discomfort came from having your throat filled so deep was heavily outweighed by the incredible feeling of being used— it sounds debasing, but the way he stammered out praises made you feel anything but degraded.

“So good,” he grunted, “look up at me, darling, show me how good you look choking on me— fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

You were trying to be sexy, here on your knees in this tight dress and heels, but he had you feeling small and delicate saying things like that.

“Such a good girl,” he breathed; you had to shut your eyes then because you couldn’t hear that and look up at him or you were going to end up having to throw these panties out.

The volume of his moans was one thing, but the desperation in them was another; and both of them made it clear he was close, and you wanted to finish him off like this more than anything.

“Fuck— I’ll come,” he warned, “is that what you want?  To swallow it?”

You hummed in appreciation, hoping that would get your message across well; and it certainly seemed to, considering he bucked up into your throat more erratically than ever, moaning loudly with each thrust.

Hot come painted the back of your throat, so deep you never really got a chance to consider the taste although you imagined a night of drinking wouldn’t have done him any favors there.  Not that you minded; it was him and that was enough to make you moan with delight as he filled your mouth.

“Fuck,” he sighed, pumps of come slowing down to a stop as he relaxed against the door and caught his breath.  The moment of calm didn’t last as you started to gently suckle on his softening cock, making him tense up and suck in a sharp breath through his teeth.  “Nonono,” he chuckled breathlessly, pulling you off of him as you smiled mischievously, “it’d be a shame if I died on my birthday.”

“But what a way to go, hm?” you laughed as he helped you up from the floor.  “Not your birthday anymore anyways,” you noted, tapping on his watch, “it’s 12:02.”

“I hope you don’t think that means the party’s over,” he smirked, picking you up suddenly, making you laugh in surprise as he started to carry you to the bedroom.  “I’m officially a man in his forties with something to prove, so we’ll be going all night, draga.”

[army-author]

cut you off | kth

❝ the red string is supposed to connect you to your soulmate. so why does your red string lead you to kim taehyung, the most annoying boy in your nursery school?  ❞

➝ pairing: taehyung x reader

➝ prompt: soulmate au

➝ genre: fluff; soulmate au; enemies to lovers au; childhood friends enemies au

➝ word count: 1.3k

➝ warnings: none

You aren’t sure why there is a red string tied around your finger, and you aren’t sure why this string leads to Kim Taehyung, the annoying boy from your nursery school. All you know for sure is that you don’t like Kim Taehyung, and the red string might have something to do with it.

When you met Taehyung on the first day of nursery school, he had refused to let you play in the sand pit. And then, when you tried to join him, he had pushed you away. This resulted in you throwing sand in his face, which further resulted in lot of tears, and kicking, and shouting, and the teachers had to come and break apart your fight, cooing, “Now, now. That’s no way to behave. Say sorry, and hug it out.”

So when your teacher announces one day that you’ll be covering the topic of the red strings you freeze in place. Finally, you’ll get an explanation for the string that ties you to Taehyung.

You glance across at him, standing by the teacher, a teddy bear from the nursery’s toy box clutched in his hands. His eyes drift to yours, his lips parted slightly. Under his gaze, you feel your cheeks getting hot. His eyes bounce off yours quickly, and he stares down at the floor, biting down on his bottom lip.

As the rest of the children settle on the cushions and beanbags spread out across the floor, staring up at your teacher, she asks, “Can anybody tell me what the red string means?”

One child at the front raises her hand, and the teacher nods at her.

“Um,” the girl hesitates, “My mummy told me that her red string led her to my daddy.”

The teacher nods her head, “Yes, it’s true that many mummies and daddies meet each other through their red strings. But what do the red strings actually mean for us?”

Another child shouts out, “They lead us to our soulmates!”

“Yes, that’s correct,” the teacher says, “But please don’t shout out next time. We raise our hands when we want to speak, remember?”

“Sorry, miss,” the child mumbles.

“So, what does it actually mean to have a soulmate?” the teacher asks.

One boy sticks his hand up. “It’s… um… it’s kind of like a best friend that you stay with forever.”

“Yes, that’s absolutely right,” the teacher beams, “A soulmate is a forever best friend. Our red strings are connected to our soulmates, and following the thread will lead us to them. The soulmate threads that connect you will only be visible to you and your soulmate. Some of you may have already met your soulmate. And some of you may need to wait a long time before you reach your soulmate. No matter what, it will be a rewarding experience to finally find them.”

From the corner of your eyes, you sneak a glance at Taehyung. He’s staring at you, his brow wrinkled.

He can’t be your soulmate, can he? There must be a mistake.

You hate Taehyung more than anything – he’s rude, mean to your face and annoying behind your back. There’s no way that this boy if your forever best friend. More like your forever worst enemy. There has to be some way to break the red thread that ties you together.

The teacher claps her hands to draw your attention back to her. “Alright, that’s enough for today’s lesson. We’ll be doing some arts and crafts now. You can make pictures representing your idea of a ‘soulmate’.”

At the words “arts and crafts” the children around you begin to scramble towards the art cupboard, grabbing for glue sticks, glitter, and stickers.

You push through the grabbing hands to reach for the specific item you need. It’s not for an art project. You need it for something more important. Smiling, you pick up the pair or red scissors from their wooden box, and turn around, searching for Taehyung. He’s sitting at a desk with his friends, glitter and crayons piled in front of him.

Walking over, you grab at the string wrapped to his fingers, and snip at it with your scissors.

You and Taehyung both stare in surprise as the red string that had connected you together flutters down to the ground, unravelling. You had not expected it to be that easy to cut off your soulmate. With a triumphant grin, you look up at Taehyung. Your smile quickly wavers as Taehyung’s red string wiggles, straightens itself out, and reattaches to his finger, lurching you closer to him.

“No,” you struggle against the tugging of the red string, “I don’t wanna be his soulmate.” You know the string cannot hear you, but you still want it to know that it’s made a mistake, attaching you to Taehyung.

The string tightens, pulling to stubbornly closer to your forever worst enemy. The universe is clearly angry at your attempts to go against its guidance. You find yourself inches from Taehyung. With one final tug, the string thrusts you into Taehyung’s arms. Upon impact, Taehyung tumbles out of his chair with a clatter, as glitter and crayons spill off the table, showering you and Taehyung. You find yourself tangled on the floor, the string holding you close to the boy who is supposed to be your soulmate.

Taehyung begins to sniffle beneath you, as you quickly get off him, worried that you might have actually hurt him.

Sitting in a pile of spilled art supplies, Taehyung wipes a few stray tears from his chubby cheeks, “But I wanna be your soulmate,” he cries.

You flush, brushing glitter from your t-shirt. The other children are staring at you. “But I thought you hated me,” you mumble, confused.

“Huh?” Taehyung’s brown eyes peer up at you, like a worried puppy. “No way. I like you.”

“But you wouldn’t let me play in the sandpit with you,” you remind him, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“Because I was building a pretty sandcastle for you,” Taehyung sniffs, “I didn’t want you to see it until I finished it. But you destroyed it before I could show you.”

You suddenly feel very guilty for having gotten angry at this boy for what are – you can see now – silly reasons. Maybe, after all your misunderstandings, you could be friends with this boy after all.

You hold your hand out to him, helping him up from the floor. The string around his finger feels warm on your skin, promising that this choice is right for you. “I suppose we could be friends after all then...”

With a grin, Taehyung throws his arms around you in a hug, while you grumble that he’s making a big scene and distracting everyone else.

- ✽ ✽ ✽ -

Twenty years later, as you find yourself walking down the aisle dressed in white, you think back with a fond smile to the day that you tried to cut Taehyung off from you. You had been so foolish back then. Looking over the past years together, you are so thankful that the red thread had connected you to Taehyung. Looking up, he grins at you as you approach him, giving his trademark boxy smile that has grown so precious to you. You can see his eyes shining, holding back happy tears as he takes in your beauty.

Reaching the front of the chapel, adorned with pink and white roses, you take Taehyung’s hand in your own, smiling as you both recite your vows for each other. The red sting on your finger, with a gold wedding band slipped over, symbolises your love, promised forever.

Now it’s official. Taehyung really is your forever best friend.

- THE END -

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 4

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: cheating obviously, some angst and fluff, public teasing, unprotected sex (oops), light degradation/impact play/begging, use of restraints, brief face sitting, shit just goes down in general just wait

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: hey... how y’all doing... yeah I disappeared... but I’m back! The past two months were a mess but I’m ready to come back now and I’m v excited. Pls accept this chapter as a token of my forgiveness </3 Feedback is appreciated as always :) AND THANK U FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!!! :D

Chapters: Previous | Next | Masterlist

The ride home was quiet.

Jisoo had drank a little too much, and it was evident by the way she laid her head upon your shoulder and mumbled slurred gibberish against your skin.

You opted to ignore her drunken antics, and instead just wrapped your arm around her shoulder while training your eyes on the darkness outside the front window.

Only when Jisoo trudged over to her bed after taking off her makeup and changing her clothes did she seem to have sobered up. She sprawled across her mattress, her face pressed into the blankets, before she turned and gazed at you. You were laying on your own bed, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you stared up at the ceiling.

Finally, Jisoo spoke a coherent sentence.

"Where did you go?" She asked. "At the party," she added a moment later.

You hesitated for a second.

"Wonwoo called me so I went to the bathroom. And then we fought because he was pissed that I went to a party without telling him." You explained. It wasn't a lie; that was what happened, before Mingyu showed up of course.

Jisoo sat up quickly in her bed, crossing her legs like a child listening intently to a teacher. She placed a hand under her chin and narrowed her eyes at you.

"You fought..." She started but trailed off. "Is that why you went off with Mingyu?" She questioned.

You stopped toying with the fabric of your shirt, completely frozen in place at the accusation.

"What?" You responded, your mouth suddenly dry. You sat up in your own bed now, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Come on, I'm not stupid." Jisoo rolled her eyes. "I saw you and Mingyu going upstairs. And then a minute later some guy comes in screaming about how he found Mingyu and some girl fucking in the bathroom. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."

You were horrified. It felt as if a hard punch had been delivered to your gut and a million wasps stung your skin at once. You could barely catch your breath.

"Wha- Does everyone know?" You cried, not even attempting to cover up that you had sex with Mingyu; Jisoo had already figured it out, and there was no way you could ever convince her otherwise.

Jisoo shook her head. "No, I only knew cause I saw you with him. And I didn't say anything to anyone." She reassured you.

You didn't say anything else. Hell, you couldn't even think of anything to say. You threw yourself back against the bed, covering your face with your hands. Embarrassment ate away at you.

Jisoo watched you in your distressed state, and she almost felt inclined to apologize. She shook away the thought and asked: "What are you gonna do?"

You peeled your hands off your face and sighed. You felt like crying again. You hated it; you were so sick of crying.

"What am I supposed to do?" You responded. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."

Jisoo chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment. "Well... do you still wanna be with Wonwoo?"

"Yes," you said quickly. "I still love him. And I miss him a lot. But I just... things have been really bad lately."

Jisoo finally laid back down, mimicking you by staring at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to talk things out with him then. Be honest. Stop seeing Mingyu." She sighed. "That's what I would do."

You knew that Jisoo was right. But the thought of cutting off Mingyu left a sour taste in your mouth. You liked him a lot, as a person, and it felt unfair to just ditch him after the times he was there to comfort you.

But this was all so much more unfair to Wonwoo.

"Are you sure... that you wanna stay with Wonwoo?" Jisoo added in response to your silence.

Were you sure?

You said that you loved him: You loved the Wonwoo that took you to the cafe near campus and bought you your favorite latte; the Wonwoo that spent hours in bed with you binge-watching dumb cartoons; the Wonwoo that stayed up late with you on weekends to help you study for your exams.

He was still that same person. Things were just different now that you were far apart and couldn't be in each other's presence anymore.

Right?

Would the Wonwoo from a year ago have ignored your texts and angrily hung up on you?

How could this all possibly be to blame on some distance?

Jisoo took your silence as an answer and cleared her throat to regain your attention. She shifted onto her side to look at you, and you turned your head to meet her eyes.

"Look, I don't think you're a bad person, okay? I think you just made some mistakes." She said. "I know you care a lot about him, but long distance doesn't work for everyone."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop them from watering.

"Just think about it, okay? I don't want you or other people getting hurt." Jisoo said. She rolled onto her other side, her back now facing you. "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight," you finally responded. Your voice was hoarse and weak.

You swallowed, and then reached for your phone.

You: that guy from the bathroom told everyone about you Sent at 12:48 AM

To your surprise, Mingyu responded quickly.

Mingyu: oh I know Sent at 12:48 AM

Mingyu: don't worry I already put him in his place Sent at 12:48 AM

You giggled quietly to yourself as you typed a response.

You: should I be scared for him? Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: nah he'll live Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: goodnight Y/N Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: sweet dreams :) Sent at 12:50 AM

Just as you finished typing a reply, quiet vibrating sounded from Jisoo's side of the room.

She stirred in her light state of sleep, feeling around her bed and eventually pulling her phone out from under her pillow. "Hello?" She said, hints of tiredness evident in her voice.

You wondered who could possibly be calling her right now. You guessed it was Seungcheol, but once Jisoo shot up in her bed alarmingly fast you began to doubt yourself.

"What?" She cried. "Is he okay?"

You sat up yourself now, watching her with concern as she turned on the light and began rummaging through her closet.

"I'm leaving right now. No, I'll be fine. I'll text you." She said as she pulled a backpack out and began wildly shoving items into it.

"What? Where are you going? What's going on?" You questioned once she hung up.

"My dad's in the hospital. Had a stroke or a heart attack or something, I don't know." Jisoo rambled without looking at you. She ran over to the bathroom with her bag in hand. "I'm going home for a few days." She explained from the other room.

When she walked back into the room, her backpack was slung over her shoulders and her eyes were shiny with tears.

"I hope he's okay. Please be safe." You responded, though it just made you feel useless.

"Thank you," she said, looking at you with saddened eyes before turning towards the door. "I'll see you soon." She called over her shoulder before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

Then you were left alone, with nothing but the dark room and the thoughts that weighed on your conscience.

You found it difficult to fall asleep that night.

When you walked into class on Tuesday, Mingyu looked different.

His hair was pushed back in his signature style and he wore his usual plain shirt and jeans, but something about him was changed. His chest seemed to be lifted with a newfound confidence.

He gave you a small smile when you approached him, and you swore you noticed his eyes graze over your figure, but you sat down without saying anything. You adjusted your skirt as you settled into your seat and pulled out your phone.

You anxiously checked your notifications, waiting for Wonwoo's name to appear, but there was still no answer.

You finally had sent him a text this morning saying that you needed to talk to him. You had spent the past few days thinking about what Jisoo said, and it was difficult to admit, but she was right.

Now it was just a waiting game until Wonwoo was ready to talk.

A notification caused your phone to buzz, and you perked up as you thought it might be Wonwoo, but instead it was a text from Mingyu.

You glanced over at him with your brows furrowed, and he just stared ahead, biting his lip to suppress a smirk. You opened the message.

Mingyu: you look good Sent at 10:05 AM

Your skin flushed at the compliment, and you quickly typed a reply.

You: you couldn't have said that to me in person? Sent at 10:06 AM

His own phone vibrated against the desk with your response. He picked it up nonchalantly, huffing out a quiet laugh.

Mingyu: well the reason I didn't say it out loud Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: is cause I also wanted to say that I keep thinking about last weekend Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: when your thighs were shaking Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: seeing you in that skirt reminded me of it Sent at 10:07 AM

You impulsively pressed your thighs together, your eyes widening and your lips flattening into a line as each message showed up on your screen.

You: you really think this is the time and place to be saying that? Sent at 10:07 AM

You: calm down you're acting like a douchey frat boy Sent at 10:07 AM

You smiled to yourself at your teasing reply, and you heard Mingyu quietly chuckle.

Mingyu: wowwwww Sent at 10:07 AM

Mingyu: don't act like you don't like it Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: I see you rubbing your thighs together over there Sent at 10:08 AM

You felt your face burn up as you realized he could see the effect he had on you. You didn't respond, letting him continue on.

Mingyu: I know you're a bad girl Y/N Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: you liked it when I spanked you Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: bet you'd like it if I touched you here right now Sent at 10:09 AM

You clicked your phone off quickly, setting it down against the desk. Your face was red, and you cleared your throat, trying to focus as the professor finally entered the room.

You kept your gaze locked on the front of the room, but you could still see Mingyu shifting closer to you out of the corner of your eye.

Just as the professor began talking, fingers brushed against your thigh and began toying with the hem of your skirt. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for the growing arousal between your legs.

Mingyu turned his head slightly towards you. "Don't react," he whispered. He turned his attention back to the front of the room, but his hand remained on your thigh, now softly squeezing the flesh between his fingers.

You inhaled a shaky breath, nervously glancing around the room. Luckily, you and Mingyu sat at the edge of the back row; the only other people in your row sat further down and to the left of Mingyu. His body and the desk most likely concealed everything that he was doing to you, but you were still fearful of getting caught.

His hand trailed upwards, slipping underneath your skirt. His fingers pressed into your inner thigh and you bit your lip. He stared forward, his face blank, as if nothing was happening.

His hand brushed against your core, and you inhaled sharply. The corner of his lip quirked up at the sound. Then he pressed his fingers against your clit through the fabric of your underwear.

Your thighs squeezed shut around his hand instinctively, and Mingyu tsked quietly before pushing your legs apart again. He began rubbing slow circles through the fabric, your arousal soaking through. Your stomach was twisting into a tighter knot with each moment that passed.

Then Mingyu suddenly slipped his fingers beneath your underwear, pressing into your bare folds. You gasped quietly and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Stop," you muttered, your voice full of alarm. Mingyu pulled his hand away, and you clenched as you were left with nothing, but you let out a relieved sigh. You were panting quietly, and he glanced at you with worry in his eyes as he wiped his hand on his pants.

You pulled out your phone and quickly texted him.

You: we can't do that here Sent at 10:14 AM

Mingyu: I'm sorry Sent at 10:14 AM

You glanced at him, and he looked back at you. You nodded as if to say "it's okay" and chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated sending your next message.

You: come over tonight Sent at 10:15 AM

Mingyu's tongue darted out to lick his lips and he turned his head towards you. His lips were upturned into a smirk as he gave you an affirming nod.

Time seemed to crawl during the rest of your classes for the day; you were anticipating Wonwoo's response and running over in your mind what you were planning on doing with Mingyu later.

As evening approached, a large hole formed in the pit in your stomach. Wonwoo still had yet to respond, which left a bitter taste in your mouth; you guessed he still wasn't done giving you the silent treatment.

You almost texted Mingyu a few times to tell him not to come over, but each time, you thought about his hand slipping beneath your skirt in class and erased your message.

You were only okay with this because Jisoo was still gone, but also, the thought of inviting a guy over to have sex while your roommate was visiting her dad in the hospital made you feel guilty. And gross. When did you become so desperate for some dick?

It was around 10 PM now, and you were pacing around your room while waiting for Mingyu to show up. You had changed out of your skirt, now wearing shorts and a crewneck instead.

A knock at the door startled you, and then your stomach dropped. You were really doing this again. You twisted the knob with hands that trembled softly and opened the door.

Mingyu stood on the other side, and you quickly observed his appearance as he stepped into the room. He also had changed his clothes from earlier. Now he was wearing sweatpants and a zip-up over a t-shirt that hugged his chest nicely. His hair was a bit messier, too.

"Hi," you exhaled.

Mingyu stood tall over you, making you feel small and nervous. You fidgeted with your hands as you stared up at him.

"Hey," he replied, licking his lips as he scanned your face.

You hesitated. "Um... do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Internally, you cursed yourself for being so stiff and awkward. But Mingyu's lips turned up into a small smirk and he agreed.

A moment later, his body laid next to yours on the bed while you picked out some random movie on Netflix. Once it started, the rapid beating of your heart didn't allow you to pay attention to the laptop screen; it was so intense you were afraid that Mingyu could feel it.

You were also hyperaware of the sensation of his body lying next to yours. The warmth of his body radiated onto you and the soft fabric of his clothing felt like a blanket against your bare skin.

"Are you even paying attention?" He asked suddenly, causing you jump slightly.

You cleared your throat. "Y-yeah."

"You seem so tense," he teased. He placed his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezed. You inhaled shakily, keeping your eyes on the screen. "Is something on your mind?"

"No," you gulped.

"Don't lie to me, Y/N." He said with a hushed voice into your ear. "I know what you invited me here for."

His face was so close that his nose was brushing against the side of your face while he spoke. Your stomach was in a tight knot now, and somehow your heart was beating even faster than before.

"You were so wet when I was touching you today." He continued to tease, lightly biting your ear. The hand that rested on your thigh moved up, his fingers brushing against your clit. "I knew you'd like that. You're dirty, aren't you?"

He pressed his fingers to your clit through your shorts as he asked the question. You whined softly, your hips jerking up at the stimulation. Finally, you turned your head towards him, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss.

Mingyu bit at your bottom lip while he kissed you, and then pulled away after a moment to glance at the laptop that was still playing the movie. "You're not watching this, right?" He joked before shutting it and placing it on the floor.

He hovered over you now, his body caged between your legs, and went back to kissing you, this time with his tongue slipping past your lips. You moaned against his mouth softly as he pressed his warm body against yours.

He pulled away for a moment, making eye contact with you as he asked: "You sure you wanna do this?" He ran his hand down your side reassuringly as he awaited your reply. "We don't have to." He added before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

The sudden shift in his demeanor left you stunned for a moment; you quickly nodded before you could hesitate. "Yes, Mingyu." The hands that rested on the back of his neck pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips once again.

His hands began to tug the bottom of your shirt up, and the feeling of his fingers brushing against your stomach left small goosebumps across your skin.

Soon, clothes were discarded about the room, leaving you in only your bra and underwear and Mingyu in his sweats. His bare chest pressed against yours as he sucked and nibbled on the skin of your neck. You let out a soft moan, not even caring about the bruises that would later appear.

Mingyu lifted his face from your neck suddenly, mumbling against your cheek with a small smile on his face: "Can I try something with you?"

You stared at him, eyes wide with curiosity, and he grinned. His eyes seemed to flash with something that resembled insecurity before he finally admitted: "I wanna tie your hands."

You felt a gush of arousal between your legs at the thought—the thought of being teased with the inability to touch his skin. You nodded in approval. The corner of his lip twitched up at your receptiveness, and he glanced over his shoulder before grabbing one of your belts off the floor.

He secured it around your wrists before pushing them above your head, and just as he was about to continue leaving kisses across your body, you spoke. "Mingyu?"

His eyes widened as they rapidly scanned your face for signs of discomfort. "Do you not like it? Should I take it off?"

You snickered at how worried he was before asking: "Can you make it tighter?"

Relief flooded over Mingyu, and then he chuckled softly in disbelief. "Anything for you, sweets," he joked while adjusting the restraints around your wrists. You laughed, and the previous anxiety left your body.

Your wrists were bound tighter now, giving Mingyu full control, and his hands squeezed your waist as he placed a kiss on your chest. "I can't believe you," he said. "Acting so innocent when you're really a little whore for me."

His vulgar words shocked you, but you couldn't deny the other effects they had. You whined quietly, desperately raising your hips to meet his. Mingyu pushed your hips back down against the bed, and then one of his hands reached up to grope your chest.

He left wet kisses and bites across your body as he made his way from your neck to your hips, discarding the last of your clothing and leaving you bare beneath him. His jaw dropped a bit as he pulled your underwear down your legs, revealing the arousal that had built up. "So fucking wet," he observed in awe.

He began to kiss and suck on the skin of your inner thighs, avoiding the place where you needed him most. You wanted to reach down and tug at his hair, but the belt around your wrists prevented the action.

You groaned as you tried pushing your body closer to Mingyu's. "Please, Gyu." You begged. Mingyu glanced up at you from between your thighs with a smirk plastered on his face once he saw how desperate you looked.

"Is this what you want?" He asked as he dragged his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal. He rubbed your clit in tight circles and your legs twitched in response.

"More," you said in between moans. You were already sweating and red in the face out of desperation; you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead.

Mingyu stopped his movements, but his hand remained pressed to your clit, and it throbbed beneath his touch. "What else do you want?" He teased. Your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could clearly imagine the cocky, satisfied expression on his face right now. "Tell me," he pleaded.

He suddenly resumed his ministrations, this time at a faster pace, which made your stomach twist. You cried out, unable to form any words. "Come on, Y/N. Use your words."

He brought his hand down to your pussy in a rough slap. The sensation caused your entire body to jolt and you let out a whimper in surprise. Mingyu buried his face in your neck before whispering into your ear: "Beg for it."

Finally, you caved, and you arched your back as you moaned, "Please, Gyu. Please fuck me."

A devilish yet satisfied grin settled across his face as he pulled away from you. "Good girl." He quickly said as his hands found their way to the waistband of his sweatpants. You glanced down, seeing the way his cock strained against the fabric. You wanted to reach out and feel him, but all you could do was lie there helplessly as he undressed himself. He lowered his pants further down his hips until he suddenly stopped.

"Do you have condoms?" He questioned, his lips pursing in thought.

You shook your head. "No. Why would I have them?" Realization slowly began to dawn on you. "You didn't for-"

"Fuck," Mingyu groaned while running his palms over his face. "I forgot."

Disappointment settled over you, but the lust you were feeling for him remained. You ran over various thoughts in your mind as you observed his conflicted expression.

Mingyu's arms dropped to his sides. "It's okay," he reassured. "We can do something else." He looked up at you, his previous lust-filled expression returning as he caressed your thighs. "Have you ever sat on anyone's face before?" He suggested.

The thought enticed you—the image of Mingyu between your thighs always made your stomach twist—but ultimately you knew you needed to feel him inside you.

"Just fuck me anyways." You blurted out. Mingyu's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"What?" He cried.

"I'm on the pill," you quickly explained. "You can just... pull out or whatever." Heat rushed to your cheeks; you had become so desperate for him.

You weren't sure what you were doing. Deep down, you knew it was a terrible idea, but you were being controlled by lust—the same lust and desire that made you tell him you wanted to kiss him a few nights ago.

Mingyu's lips were still parted in shock as he scanned your face. "Really?" He didn't see a single hint of hesitation on your visage.

"If that's what you want..." he trailed off. You saw a look of desire return to his eyes as he observed your bare body. Finally, he pushed his pants down his hips and leaned over you again.

His forearms rested on either side of your head, trapping you beneath him as he slipped his tongue into your mouth once again.

He reached down and grabbed hold of his hardened cock, guiding it through the folds of your pussy. Your jaw hung open and a deep moan escaped your throat at the pleasure. "You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." Mingyu mumbled into your ear in response to your moans.

He coated himself in your arousal as he continued to rub his cock against you, his tip nudging your clit and teasing you with the smallest bit of relief. He buried his face in your neck as he finally pushed himself into you.

A loud moan fell from his lips at the feeling. This was so much different from last time. It felt warm and soft and bare. Every sensation felt amplified; the stimulation was so intense.

"Holy shit," you gasped. You felt it too.

Mingyu's hips stuttered as he bottomed out inside you. "You feel so fucking good," he groaned. His words mixed with his hot breath against your throat made your entire body burn up. Mingyu slowly pulled himself out of you, and your back arched as his cock rubbed against your walls before he pushed into you again roughly.

Your chest rose and fell quickly with each short breath you took while Mingyu set his pace of his hips slapping against yours. Your back was still arched, and your hips lifted up uncontrollably to meet his.

"F-fuck," you whined. Your arms tried to spread apart, but they were restricted by the belt again. There was a dull ache in your wrists, but it only added to the pleasurable mix of sensations you were feeling right now.

His hands were squeezing your waist tight, to the point where you thought there might be marks there later. He thrusted into you quickly, desperately trying to reach his high. You opened your eyes to watch his euphoric expression: his head was tilted back, his lips parted, and eyes fluttered shut.

He let out a particularly loud moan and his eyes met yours. A small smile found its way to his lips before his eyes grazed down until they reached your chest. He watched the way your breasts bounced with each movement, and the sight nearly made his eyes roll back into his head.

"You gonna come?" He choked out as he saw the pleasure on your face. You moaned in response, unable to speak. He leaned over you and wrapped his hand around your throat. He stopped for a moment, before roughly pushing into you, his hips slapping against yours.

Finally, he brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles as he continued to thrust into you. The knot in your stomach burned and tightened. You clenched around him, which caused him to choke out a moan.

The pressure in your stomach reached its breaking point. Your body was washed over with a feeling of euphoria as your thighs shook uncontrollably. You could barely hear yourself when you let out a loud cry.

Your moans, the euphoric look on your face, and the feeling of you clenching around him all led to the snap of pleasure in Mingyu's core. He gasped as he struggled to pull himself out of you. "Fuck, I'm coming."

Hot ropes of cum painted across your stomach. Mingyu's chest rose and fell with his pants and moans as he watched the substance cover your body.

"Fuck," he whispered in awe once his orgasm faded away and he admired the mess he left on you.

Just as you were trying to catch your breath and relax your arms, they were stopped by the belt again. "Are you gonna take this off me now?" You asked.

Mingyu chuckled. "I guess so." He finally undid the loop and threw the belt to the floor. You sighed in relief. Mingyu quickly noticed the red marks on your wrists and caressed the irritated skin. "Oh, no. You could've told me it was hurting you." He frowned.

"No, it's fine. I-I liked it." You admitted sheepishly. Luckily, your cheeks were still red from before, so it hid the embarrassed flush of your skin. It was true, though. You never did these types of things before, and you certainly never thought pleasure and pain could go together, but you now that you had experienced it, you were enjoying it all too much.

Mingyu shook his head in disbelief, a smile spreading across his lips as he stared at you. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his softly.

After a moment, Mingyu pushed you back slightly. "You, uh, probably don't wanna get that on your bed." He pointed to the cum on your stomach. You glanced down. You had almost forgotten it was there.

"Yeah, you're probably right." You laughed. Mingyu reached over for a tissue to wipe it off. The two of you cleaned up, and soon you were lying next to him on the bed again, with him back in his sweats and you with an oversized shirt on.

You faced each other, but your head was curled up against his chest, listening to the quiet sound of his heart beating beneath his ribs.

"You don't seem sad this time." He said. His chest vibrated beneath you as he spoke. You pulled away to look at him with your brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. All the other times we've done this you just seem sad after. But this time you don't." He noted.

You shrugged. "You seem different too. More cocky, I guess."

Mingyu pushed you playfully. "Shut up," he snickered.

"No, seriously!" You exclaimed with a laugh. "You were so awkward like a week ago and then today you pulled that stupid stunt in class!" You playfully smacked him back in the chest.

"Okay, yeah. You're right." Mingyu smiled, and then he sighed. "I guess I'm just... getting used to this."

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, both thinking of the same thing.

Mingyu rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Which I really shouldn't be," he continued. You chewed on your lip as you pondered what to say.

"I'm breaking up with him."

Saying it out loud made realization hit you like a ton of bricks. But you weren't upset anymore. You would miss all those trips to the coffee shop and weekends in bed from over the past two years, but they had already come to an end the moment you packed up and moved away. At this point, he had become someone you used to know—someone you were holding on to when maybe you should have let go a long time ago.

Mingyu was quiet for a moment. "Wow," he finally spoke. "That's probably for the best. You didn't seem happy."

"Yeah..." you trailed off. An awkward silence started to settle, so you cleared your throat and quickly changed subjects. "So, I haven't heard much about this frat you're in."

Mingyu chuckled softly, turning towards you again. "What do you wanna know?" His hands idly reached for yours, fidgeting with and rubbing circles on the back of your hand.

You thought for a second. "Hmm, I guess... who are the other guys besides you, Cheol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and bathroom guy?"

Mingyu let out a loud laugh. "Oh, God. Bathroom guy is Soonyoung. I swear, he's the smartest yet stupidest person you'll ever meet." He paused, his face contorted in thought. "Then there's Josh..."

You slowly stirred awake, scrunching your face once you realized the light was still on and about to blind you the second you opened your eyes. You peeked open an eye, glancing around your room for the clock. It was almost 4 AM. You sighed, groggily trying to sit up and recollect what you were doing before you fell asleep, but an arm was weighing you down.

You glanced over your shoulder, and were taken back in surprise for a second when you saw Mingyu lying next to you. The two of you must have dozed off at some point without realizing, and now he was pressed up against you from behind with his arm draped over your waist. He was sleeping deeply, with his lips slightly parted and cheeks puffed out.

You peeled his arm off you slowly, careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. You observed yourself in the fluorescent lighting. Thankfully, your hair wasn't too messy, but your makeup was still on and smudged around your eyes. Something about it almost made you feel hungover.

You spent a few minutes cleaning yourself up before staring at your reflection. If it wasn't already awkward enough that you and Mingyu accidentally fell asleep together, now he would see you bare-faced and groggy with sleep when he woke up. Sure, you two had sex a couple times, but somehow sleeping together was a thousand times more intimate.

You tiptoed out of the bathroom, slowly shutting the door so it didn't make any noise. You lay back down in bed stiffly, pressing yourself right against the edge to avoid Mingyu's grasp.

Just as you finished turning off the light and settling back into bed, Mingyu's arm reached forward and rested across your waist again.

"What time is it?" He muttered, his voice raspy with sleep. You jumped at the sudden noise.

"Oh, um, it's 4:02." You answered.

Mingyu pushed himself up onto his forearm and rubbed his eyes. "Like, in the morning?" He asked. You told him yes and his eyes widened. "Woah, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He yawned.

He fully sat up now, running his hands through his messy hair. He turned to you, just barely able to see you in the dark. "I can go, if you want."

Oh, God. Even though this situation was an awkward mess, there was no way you could make him go home now.

"I'm not kicking you out in the middle of the night. What kind of terrible person do you think I am?" You responded, to which Mingyu laughed under his breath. "It's only a few more hours."

"Okay," Mingyu said as he lay on his back again. He rolled onto his side, his back towards you. You sat in silence before Mingyu added, "Thanks for not kicking me out."

You chuckled quietly, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and waiting for sleep to overtake you again.

The next time you woke up, sunlight shone in your eyes. With your eyes squinted shut, you rolled over, expecting to bump into Mingyu, but were greeted with empty sheets instead.

Your eyes shot open as you felt around the bed and realized that Mingyu was nowhere to be found. You couldn't help feeling disappointed. Even though you were dreading having to face him in the morning, the fact that he left without saying a word stung.

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. "Oh, you're awake," a low voice called. Mingyu stood in the doorway, still shirtless and his hair a little tousled.

You smiled. "I thought you left."

"Nope, still here," he replied. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at you. His dark eyes looked like they held a certain warmth in them. "I've never seen someone look so nice after waking up," he said.

Your face burned up instantly. "Stop," you cried sheepishly, burying your face in your hands. You didn't even want to imagine what you looked like right now.

Mingyu grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your face. "No, really!" He exclaimed while you wrestled back with him. "Your hair isn't even messy and your skin looks so clear," he said in between laughs.

"What are you trying to do, Mingyu?" You cried.

"Just take the compliment and say thanks!" He responded.

You stopped fighting back, letting him hold your wrists while you stared at him with a pout. "Fine," you grumbled. "Thank you."

A satisfied grin settled across his lips, and suddenly you noticed how close he was to you. "You're welcome," he said, his face only a few inches from yours.

You watched as his eyes dragged down to your lips and your breath nearly caught in your throat. He inched forward until his lips met yours. The kiss was soft and slow, until he pushed you back against the bed and pinned your wrists by the side of your head. He slipped his tongue past your lips and you moaned quietly against his mouth.

"You know what I said last night about you sitting on my face?" Mingyu pulled away to say, staring down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You felt arousal growing between your legs as you nodded rapidly. Mingyu let go of your wrists to lie on his back instead. Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to pull your underwear down your thighs.

"Your phone keeps going off," Mingyu said.

"Huh?" You didn't even hear it because you were too focused on the knot you felt in your stomach. You recollected yourself and shook your head. "Just ignore it. It's probably Jisoo or something."

"Hurry up," he teased, lightly smacking your thigh. You were straddling his waist.

"I am! I'm just nervous." You replied, trying to ignore the heat that was rushing to your cheeks. "I don't wanna accidentally kill you."

Mingyu rolled his eyes. "Oh, shush. I wouldn't wanna die any other way." You hovered above his face, hesitating each time you tried to lower yourself. Finally, Mingyu grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you down. You instantly moaned at the feeling of his warm tongue flicking against your clit.

"H-holy shit," you moaned breathlessly. He held onto your thighs tightly, not allowing you to move. Your legs began to twitch at the stimulation and your hips rocked involuntarily.

Mingyu pulled away, and you thought for a second that he was trying to tease you before he groaned: "Oh, my god. Who keeps calling you?" He shoved his hand under your pillow and pulled out your phone, squinting at the screen as he read.

"Who's Wonwoo?"

Your heart dropped right into the pit of your stomach. It felt like someone had punched you in the gut and you were unable to catch your breath.

"Are you kidding?" You cried. Mingyu had never seen your eyes so wide before. He turned the phone around to show you. Sure enough, Wonwoo's name was on the screen.

"Is that your boyfrie-" he started, but you interrupted by jerking the phone out of his hand.

"Don't say anything," you ordered. You hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear with a shaky hand.

"Hey," you said, trying to conceal the quiver in your voice.

"Hey," Wonwoo replied. Hearing his voice again made your throat tighten.

"I'm on campus. Can we please talk?"

[adhdsix]

i gotta sleep soon so ive decided i will finally dump a buncha my headcanons here aswell adfhsf theyre all in here but im gonna copy paste them as a post as well because i wanna ill be updating the doc a lot but i probably wont edit the post much notes slight spoilers but not much? i dont think? mono is written to be the tallest because rcg is more like a bonus i guess? but she is the tallest + oldest (this goes for other similar things written abt six, mono and/or rk) some of these are more like what-if scenarios (ex. modern stuff mentioned like cars) that could fit maybe in an au of sorts rather than entirely canon all links are safe

Six

she/it/they

ADHD

Tasteblind, but sensitive to certain food textures

Shortest by a lot, youngest but not by much Zero sense of time

Likes lullabies, gets Mono to sing them to her (likes to make up her own versions sometimes) Short attention span, unless she’s insanely invested in something

Definitely bites ice cream Uses Mono like a cat tree, climbs all over him, loves to sit up on his shoulders or just literally drape herself around his neck like a scarf (Mono eventually gets used to it, but she still can’t stay there for long or it starts to hurt) (possibly a little random but think like .. them + )

Likes most toys but hates dolls, usually tears them apart/messes with them for fun Not a huge fan of rain, but the sound is calming, and she loves the aftermath, which includes the smell, dew on grass, just how everything looks, worms and snails coming out of hiding, and splashing in puddles

Likes teddy bears (big and cuddly, plus, reminds her of Mono)

You are not immune to her puppy eyes. Raincoat Girl is probably the only person who is

Collects things a lot, gets attached to certain items for a random amount of time When she learns a new phrase or word, she loves to repeat it to herself ( not really in the “ look at me i learned a new word and i'm gonna use it all the time “ type way, she just finds it entertaining, kinda like vocal stimming ) Does a similar thing when she finds something that someone else said funny, mocks them by repeating it and giggling

Likes making "nests" out of her stuff

Definitely occasionally runs on all fours, it's usually not for too long though.

Most of the time it’s momentarily while she's already in the middle of sprinting, to give herself a boost with a bound or two, or if she trips or feels herself falling forward while running she'll shift onto all fours which is is how she originally developed that "reflex", to prevent herself from falling while running, but eventually she started using it a little more often 

She can also just walk normally on all fours too but she usually only uses it while running 

She likes to show off her object collections to Mono, he’s very supportive :] Loves long car rides, as well as Runaway

Brings mono gifts (usually dead rats, birds, etc. or bizzare objects from her collection that reminded her of him for whatever reason)

Hates drinks like soda or sparkling water, anything fizzy is a no-no

Likes shiny things Her pupils widen (that cat thing) when she sees something interesting, or something/someone she likes Plus her eyes shine in the dark / in photos sometimes, they usually look red

Mono gave Six their lighter

Heterochromia, their right eye is a dark, reddish brown, the other is milky white

Always chewing on stuff

Fidgets lots, stim buddies with Mono Six stims by rocking on her feet, bouncing, cracking her fingers and shaking fists most often She also vocal stims lots, mostly by repeating animal noises

It’s got tons of freckles

She likes to sing, and is very good at it but doesnt get to very often

it’s favorite things to sing are hypno and sunshine ( 11:11 hypno, sunshine )

Not super into arts, but loves to draw, and is very fascinated by origami

Often refers to Mono as a nerd (affectionate) (also sometimes dork)

Purrs, growls, hisses etc. Because she doesn't talk much, she adapts more animal-like ways of communication, not only vocally but also physical stuff (slow blinking, headbutting stuff, mostly cat-like traits and reflexes. also she likes to drop stuff off of shelves and tables just bc its fun)

Doesn't know her own strength a lot of the time

Very touch starved (they all are) even if she doesn't realise it

Flinches and/or swats others away when touched Eventually they get used to Mono, he's the only person that can touch her at all, but she still has limits

No sense of others personal space though

She’s great at tracking things, mostly small animals

Super ticklish, not very happy that Mono found out 

Very visual memory

She really loves all types of music, ranges from things like 100 gecs type stuff, to calm instrumental kinda things, literally anything with maybe a few exceptions Shark teeth, very sharp, loves making dents in stuff with them

Cat-like claws too (retractable maybe?? why not.. it usually has them out though) Love-hate relationship with snow, they find it weird and kind of icky, but Mono teaches her how to make snow angels, forts and snowmen, and she loves snowball fights (Mono regrets teaching them about those though), plus she adores going back inside and just drinking hot chocolate with Mono and sometimes other friends :]  Mono he/she Tallest of the three, oldest as well  Colorblind He has vitiligo Loves all sorts if arts and crafts, often drags Six into making stuff with him Her hair is very soft, even if it doesn't look like it Very touchy-feely, with others and with objects Knows and respects others boundaries. Six does not He will often push his own boundaries though He’s very protective, usually feels the need to put others safety and health in front of her own A little naive, will protect even if she isn’t getting anything in return from the person(s) Likes skirts! Mono loves to learn about his friends and their personalities, strengths, weaknesses etc. to use for their own benefit! For example, he has a different way to cheer up each friend, and does his best to include them in stuff he thinks they'll also like Loves any happy sounding music the most, but listens to lots of other stuff too (a few songs that remind me of him not lyric-wise but like, sounds like he'd listen to them, are She Wants Me (to be loved), Dancing in my Room, Sunday Best and Sunkissed type stuff, I don’t know music genres so) Favorite drink is probably coffee Loves all sorts of soup!! Has lots of nicknames for Six! Mostly uses kitty and shortcake (it hates them but gets used to them, only from Mono though; some of the other kids use them to get on her nerves, doesn’t end well for them) Love loves bugs! Six likes them too, but isn't as interested as Mono and Runaway (she likes to eat them) Runaway he/they Almost as tall as Mono, noticable difference though He loves chocolate milk and tea Probably the most reasonable out of the three Despite this, he still likes to annoy them (mostly Six) Similarly to Six, he sucks at keeping track of the time Likes goldfish snacks a lot His nomes are always nearby when he is Really likes coloring books and puzzles They love the sound of pianos, not the best at playing it but likes messing with them in his free time with Six (their rare bonding moments) Loves any instruments really, pianos are just his favorite Has the biggest sweet tooth Also loves bugs!! Mono and him are bug buddies His favorite bugs are caterpillars and butterflies, he isn’t a very big fan of spiders though (Mono didn’t used to mind them, but after the hand incidents in the hospital, he finds them icky; too similar) Bonus; RCG  she/they Tallest as well as oldest (again, not oldest by much though) Big sister vibes Super supportive Usually in charge of keeping others in line, doesn’t mind a little chaos here and there though (even if it doesn’t usually end well) Also has a few freckles, not nearly as much as Six Lots of energy that often rubs off on the others when she’s around Probably the most responsible, great with kids younger than her Loves teaching the others how to do stuff, has the longest attention span which makes it easier Very playful and teasing, but still knows and respects boundaries when it comes to that kinda stuff Gets easily stressed out and nervous when she doesn't know what to do, as she feels like she always has to be responsible aaaand thats all 4 now! i might do more characters like comic kids if i get enough ideas but thatll be in the doc if i ever do pleas share with me ur hcs and ideas too!!!! if u wanna i would love 2 see them!!

[ofbardsandmonsters]

Fill for square N5 - “pets” for the @stb-bingo ! read it here on ao3

***

Steve texts Tony when he gets home, just to be sure his boyfriend is still out and their apartment is empty. As soon as the affirmative response arrives, he pats the box sitting securely in his passenger seat and jumps out of the car. He only has a short window of time before Tony arrives home from work, and he wants to make this surprise perfect.

He leaves the box for the moment and pops his trunk, hands on his hips as he tries to plan the most efficient way to get all of the bags into the house. Part of him says to just take all of the bags at once, that way he can come back for the box and have everything done in two easy trips. But he can already hear Tony scolding him in the back of his head, so he starts with just a few. It still only takes him three trips, the last allowing him to take the remaining few bags in one hand and heft the huge bag of dog food onto his other shoulder.

Then all that’s left is the box.

Once all of the supplies are spread out on their living room floor, Steve jogs down the front steps of their apartment building and goes for the passenger door. He leans in, carefully picking up the slightly wiggling box on the seat. A little nose pokes out of one of the holes on the side, making him chuckle. Holding the box securely in both arms, he uses a foot to kick the door shut and heads back up the two flights of stairs to their apartment.

Inside, Steve sets the box down on the floor and sits next to it. There’s a soft bark from within the box, and as soon as he opens the flaps, two big ears and a curious little face pop out. He holds out his hand with a grin, and the little french bulldog puppy sniffs it for a second before eagerly bathing it with her tongue. The sensation makes Steve chuckle. He lets her go for a minute before lifting her out of the box and tucking her against his chest. Her tiny body looks even smaller in his large hands.

She’s small enough that he can hold her securely with one hand while he picks up a couple of the bags with the other and carries them into their bedroom. The puppy starts wiggling as they enter the room, excited to explore the space. So Steve sets the bags on the bed and crouches down to gently set her on the floor. He watches her waddle around on her squat little legs, nose to the carpet to sniff the space. The sight makes his heart swell even bigger.

Tony was going to lose it when he sees her.

Steve keeps one eye on the puppy while going through the bags from the pet store. He sets the plush bed in a corner of the room, tucking a soft blanket and one of the plush toys inside. The other toys he leaves in the bag and sets them on the dresser to be scattered around their apartment later.

He finds the newest member of their little family with her paws on the bathtub, staring intently at the porcelain. Steve laughs, scooping her up and carrying her back into the bedroom.

“What’s so fascinating in there, little miss? Are you gonna be a prima donna and enjoy taking long baths like your daddy?”

The puppy gets deposited on the bed, and Steve hopes the height will be a deterrent to her jumping off and getting into anything while he goes to hide her food and treats out of the way in the kitchen so Tony doesn’t seem them the minute he walks in the door. He doesn’t want the surprise to be spoiled too early.

Once he has everything stowed out of sight in the kitchen cabinets, Steve goes back into the bedroom, a pretty collar and bow in his hand. The puppy sits in the middle of their big bed, and she yips at him as soon as she sees him. He sits down next to her, scratching under her chin before tugging her into his lap. She goes without protest, watching his fingers as he unclasps the collar. As he moves to put it around her neck, she nips at his fingers and he winces at the sharp bite of her pointy puppy teeth.

“Easy there, you little hellion. You really are gonna be as bad as Tony, aren’t you?”

Steve figures out how to dodge her teeth fairly quickly, and gets the glittery gold collar clasped without any more bloodshed. The puppy scratches at it a little before ignoring it to tug at the big red bow he attaches next. But she’s easily distracted by one of the toys, just in time for Steve’s phone to chime with a message from Tony. His boyfriend is about twenty minutes out, so he leaves the puppy to chew on the toy and goes into the kitchen to start dinner.

There’s pasta boiling on the stove and Steve is steadily working his way through a small pile of veggies for a salad when he hears Tony’s key in the lock.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Steve snorts, grinning down at the cutting board while carefully working the knife. “In the kitchen!” A few moments later, two arms wrap around his waist and Steve feels the shorter man squish his face in between his shoulder blades. He sets the knife down and covers Tony’s hands with his own. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”

Whatever Tony tries to say is muffled in the back of his shirt, and Steve chuckles before turning around and pressing a kiss into dark curls. “What was that? I didn’t quite catch it.”

Tony huffs, but leans back just enough so he can look up at Steve and speak clearly. “I said, I hate interns. They all stare at me like they’re either terrified of me or completely starstruck. Or both. There’s only one in the entire bunch that actually looks promising.”

The blonde smiles and lets his hands drift down until they’re cupping Tony’s gorgeous backside. “They’re all in awe of your brilliance and your beauty. I thought you liked being admired by the masses.” He takes pleasure in the blush that spreads over Tony’s cheeks and down his neck.

“I need brilliant young minds working for me, Steve, not a bunch of starry eyed fans. Besides, you know the only person I want admiring me is you, hot stuff.”

Steve’s powerless to resist leaning down to steal Tony’s breath away with a kiss after that statement. They kiss for a minute, before the sound of the pasta water starting to boil makes Steve step away and turn to pour the raw noodles into the pan. “Can you go into the bedroom and get my phone off the charger? I wanna check the recipe again.”

“Sure thing, babe.”

He listens as Tony goes down the hall, holding his breath as he waits. He hears the door creak open, and then there’s nothing but silence until…

“S-Steve? What…”

Steve comes around the corner and finds Tony standing in their bedroom doorway, one hand still on the knob as he stares wide-eyed into the room. The puppy is oblivious to both of them, looking tiny in the center of their king sized bed where she’s laying wrapped around the toy Steve had used as a distraction.

The blonde comes up behind Tony and tugs him back against his chest, a mirror of the position they had been in a few minutes ago. He leans down a little to tuck his chin over the brunette’s shoulder. “Surprise, honey.”

Tony’s eyes well up a little with tears, and Steve can feel the way he trembles as his hands come up to clutch Steve’s arms.

“Steve… what is this?”

Steve walks them slowly into the room, and the movement finally catches the puppy’s attention. She abandons the toy and waddles on her short legs towards the edge of the bed, stubby little tail wiggling hard enough that it shakes her whole body. Tony collapses onto the bed and holds out his hands, the tears in his eyes finally spilling over when she comes to him immediately and climbs into his lap. Steve sits next to him and reaches out to scratch behind her ears.

“The one thing you’ve talked about more than anything, the entire time I’ve known you, is how much you always wanted a puppy but Howard always forbade it. So I made a promise to myself that one day when we had a place of our own, that’s the first thing I would get you. I went down to the shelter today, and there was a whole litter of them that had been abandoned. One look, and I knew she was meant for us. Her name is Daisy.”

Tony cradles the puppy in his still shaking hands, and carefully holds her up so they were eye to eye. Steve could see the instant the younger man fell in love, could see it in the brilliant smile that spreads across his face.

“Hello, Daisy. You’re just the prettiest girl in the whole wide world, aren’t you?”

She yips, as if agreeing that she was in fact the prettiest girl. Both men laugh, and Tony pulls her in to cradle her against his chest. He sighs, a soft and content sound that Steve knows well. Mentally, he’s cheering at how well this surprise worked out.

“You know I’m gonna spoil the shit out of her, Steve. This is your one and only warning, and I’m not sorry.”

Steve barks out a laugh, turning his head to press his forehead against Tony’s, eyes closed.

“I know, baby. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I picked her up. And don’t underestimate me. I’m probably going to be just as bad.”

“I love you, Steve.”

“I love you too, honey.”

[forlornmelody]

The Fantabulous Vacation of One Harley Quinn and Her Girlfriend Poison Ivy

Rating: T (suggestive themes, cartoon violence)

Fandom(s): DC Comics

Ship: Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn

Linkage: Ao3

Summary:   Harley's been burning the wick at both ends and Ivy knows just the thing to help. But it takes more than just a change of scenery to get Harley to let go.

Note:  Commission for @rookie009

~*~*~*

“You’re probably wondering Mr---Watchman--”

“Tockman.” Mr. Watchman spits. “William Tockman.”

“Why I’ve brought you here today.”

Mr. Watchman rolls his eyes. “I imagine you’re going to tell me.” 

“Ah! Good. You’ve stopped struggling. Progress, Mister!” Harley boops him on the nose. Maybe she made the binding too tight? “I’m not cutting off your circulation, am I?” She leans in close. “Are you comfortable? I need you comfortable.” 

“I’m tied up in ropes, wench!”

“Ah, see! This is what I’m talking about!” Harley sits across from him and his fainting couch, pulling her pen from her bun and making a heading on her notepad. “You have a whore madonna complex.” Chewing her pen, she murmurs, “perhaps from the trauma of your wife’s death? Cystic Fibrosis, was it?”

Her new patient says nothing. “Mister?” Harley glances up. “Willy?”

“Help!” William Tockman dangles from his left ankle, suspended in air by a beefy vine.  “She’s gonna kill me!” 

“Oh please. You’re hardly worth the trouble.” Ivy steps around him and the vine, brushing the dust off her hands. “Hi Harls!” How she got the vines up this far on this abandoned apartment building, Harley has no idea. But it sure has a lot of brick to climb. 

“Ivy!” Harley doesn’t so much as hug her as ram her at full speed. 

Her target, used to such behavior by now, braces for impact and manages to hug back. Harley takes a big whiff. “Mm. Jasmine?”

“Lilacs.” Ivy peers over at Clock King. “You...uh, busy?”

“Mm yeah. A little tied up at the moment. Or he is, at least.”

“So I see.” Ivy chews her lip, staring out the window as if she had left a reminder there. She makes a face as the draft stirs some of the painting tarp discarded on the floor. “I was thinking maybe we could get out of town for a bit.”

“HELP.” 

“Are you asking for help, Billy? Or do you prefer Willy?”

“HELP ME! THESE WOMEN ARE CRAZY.” 

“Great!” Harley says brightly. “Admitting you need help is the first step towards healing!”

“Harls? Are you even listening?”

“You need help dismantling another CEO along with his company?”

“No.”

“Fundraiser for conservation efforts?”

“Harley--”

“Pride pre-game with Kitty?”

“Harleen.” That stops Harley short. Ivy never calls her that. Mostly cause she hates getting called Pamela with an undying passion. Probably childhood trauma. But Harley digresses. 

Ivy sighs. “Sorry. Look. I need a vacation. We need a vacation.”

“I need help!” 

“SHUT UP ALREADY.” Ivy and Harley say it together, and Ivy waves a hand, muffling Harley’s captive, er, patient with a particularly broad leaf. 

“Mm... I’m a little busy--”

Ivy glances at Tockman, finally. “I can see that.”

“Lemme look at my calendar. Mmm.. maybe...next year? Definitely the one after that.”

“Harls.”

“I know, I know. But there’s my derby team, missions with Task Force X, the Birds of Prey, my day job--”

“I know.” Ivy takes her hands, gently, and squeezes them. It’s the softness that stops Harley in her tracks. “It’s why you need some time off.”

“But--”

“Shh. I already have plane tickets and a hotel booked. You don’t have to plan a thing.”

Harley can’t help the blush creeping up on her cheeks. “Aww, shucks, Ives. When are we leaving?”

“Now. The plane’s departing in--shit. We gotta go.”

“MMRPH.” 

“Oh, right.” Ivy releases Clock King with a patented thud as she shoves Harley out the door. “Bye!”

-----

“So, we’re we goin’?” Harley pushes the arm rest out of the way and rests her chin on Ivy’s shoulder. She glances at Ivy’s phone as if it’ll give her some clues. She spots a sudoku puzzle. “Japan?”

“No.”

“The Amazon?”

“Nope.”

“Themyscyra?” 

Ivy gives her a look. “Really?”

“Er….my mom’s? Please say it’s not my mom’s.”

“It’s not your mom’s.”

“Thank God.”

“Also, why would we fly to your mom’s house when we could easily drive? Or take a commuter bus?”

“Good point. Mm.”

Ivy smooths Harley’s hair out of her eyes. “It’s a surprise.” She snatches a quick kiss before the flight attendant rolls by. “You’ll love it.”

In this moment, Harley’s pretty sure she’d love anywhere as long Ivy’s there with her. She’s lit up by the light of the tiny window behind her, and her crimson locks glow like an angel’s. But Harley knows well enough that neither of them are anywhere close to innocent. “Say, how’d you get us past security?”

Ivy winks at her. 

“No casualties?”

Her lover mockingly brushes her own chest like a scandalized church mouse. “I would never!” she snorts. “They’ll be fine. Just a little dazed and confused.”

Harley leans her head on Ivy’s shoulder. “I know the feelin’.” And really! Harley’s proud of her. Ivy’s never been one to follow rules or care for humans. But she tries for Harley. Why she bothers when Mistah J never seemed to care, Harley has no idea. But it means the world to her. 

-----

The taxi drops them off in front of a large revolving door. But it’s not the gold handles that capture Harley’s attention. 

It’s the lush plants growing from every nook and cranny on the place. Harley bets Ivy could spend an hour naming all of them (scientific names and personal names.) Butterflies and hummingbirds in every color of the rainbow--and the faint buzzing of bees. A solitary stream crosses their path, and a wooden bridge stretches over it. Garden terrace after garden terrace rise up from the ground to an open-air cafe at the top. 

And behind the walls and the hotel proper? A waterpark. 

Harley’s eyes go as big as saucers. “Ivy! You shouldn’t have!” She squeezes her into a hug.

“Thanks, sweet pea, but I can’t breathe.” Ivy manages to get out.

“Oof, sorry. Here ya go.” Harley releases her, and Ivy pecks her on the cheek. 

“Best part is, they’ve a zero-carbon footprint and they’re waste free.” Harley rarely sees her grin so wide.” 

“Whoa.”

“They call it The Greenhouse.”

-----

Their first day at the resort passes in a blur. Harley shows Ivy a good time in and out of their bedroom. They go snorkeling in the ocean, ride the rides so many times Harley ends up upchucking their picnic at the beach, then make love at sunset in their honeymoon suite. Harley wonders if the management thinks they’re--well, they’re as good as, aren’t they? They don’t need rings or a wedding or a place of their own or--

“Harley?”

She blinks. Ivy only calls her that when she’s worried. Harley realizes she’s been staring at the chocolates on their pillows for God knows how long. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Of course!” she says automatically, pulling Ivy into another kiss.

Ivy kisses back, then runs a finger down her cheek. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?” The setting sun makes her hair even redder, which Harley didn’t think possible, and Harley finds herself toying with her curls. 

“Hey, I’ve been wonderin’.”

If Ivy notices the change in subject, she doesn’t mention it. “Yeah?”

“How come we haven’t seen any other guests? And how come we haven’t been arrested?”

“Oh! That.” Ivy waves a hand dismissively. “I rented out the whole resort.”

“With what money??”

Ivy shoots her a wicked look that sends shivers down Harley’s spine. “Ace Chemical’s investment fund.”

“Ooooh, you’re naughty.” 

Harley dives in for another kiss but Ivy puts a finger to her lips. And doesn’t let her suck on it. Rude. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Since we’ve got all this extra cash, wanna make a run at the casino? I hear they donate the proceeds to rainforest restoration.”

“Alright.” Ivy sighs and reaches for her dress. Harley has a sinking feeling that she’s going to bring this up later. Maybe if Harley’s lucky she’ll forget about it? Yeah. Ivy forgets things all the time. 

“Last one there buys the first round!”

-----

Ivy and Harley sit across from each other, an immaculate brunch setting between them and two mimosas. Her lover’s plate sits almost empty, and while Harley’s lies largely untouched. She keeps playing with her veggie egg white omelet, but the next bite never seems to make it to her mouth. “And then we can go for a walk on the beach later! Have you seen those beds? Right there on the water? Mm. Do you think anyone would hear us if we--”

“Harley, wait.”

“Like, the sound of the waves would cover it up, right? Mm. Maybe not. I’m loud. Not as loud as--”

“Harley, no. Stop. Stop.” Ivy presses her hands on either side of Harley’s face, drawing her to a standstill and inches away from her. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to!”

Ivy gives her a sad smile, shaking her head gently. “You don’t have to impress me, Harls. I love you.”

Harley, in typical Harley fashion, vibrates with energy. “But…I want this to be special. As special as y--”

“This vacation already is special. Cause you’re here with me.”

“But--” I’m not that special, Harley wants to say. But she knows Ivy won’t let her get away with saying that out loud. She wants to crawl underneath the tablecloth and hide until Ivy leaves. They always leave in the end. Once they get what they want. Mistah J--

“I love you, Harley Quinn.” Ivy takes her hand, gently, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And maybe. Maybe it’s that she doesn’t know what to do if Ivy stays. It’s easier to love someone who doesn’t love her back. It’s safe. Ahem. Emotionally safe, Dr. Quinzel says inside her head. For once, Harley has nothing to say. She’s too busy trying to keep the tears from falling. 

“You don’t have to do anything. I already love you.” Ivy bites her lip--the way she always does when she’s thinking hard. Like how best to resurrect a drooping petunia or a rose bush that has a pest. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “And if it’s not too much--too early--to say this: I always will.” 

“You proposin’ or somethin’?” The words tumble out of Harley’s mouth before she can stop them. Her cheeks feel like they’re blushing as bright as Ivy’s hair. 

“I…” Ivy’s eyes widen. “I-I don’t have a ring on me.”

Shit. Fuck. ShitshitshitFuuuuuuuuuck. “I’msorryIdidn’tmeanit.” “It’s way too soon.” Harley puts on her best brave face--the same one she always put on when Bats showed up and Mistah J magically was nowhere to be found. “Marriage is so outda--”

“Harley.” Ivy puts her entire hand over her face. “Quinn.” “I never said I didn’t want to marry you.”

“Mmphwr?” 

“Who wouldn’t want to marry Harley Quinn? You’re amazing.” She traces her eyebrows. “You’re the smartest person I know.” Boops her nose. “You’re impossible to kill. Holy fuck.” Runs her fingertip across her bottom lip. “You…” Ivy presses her lips together, looking down at the table. “You helped me love again when I hated everyone.”

“Pam.” Fuck, she’s getting misty eyed. 

“I mean it. I was ready to wipe humanity off the map and start over.” She laughs a little, her voice rough as she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand. “But then you came along and nominated yourself my new shrink.”

“Don’t give me all the credit.” Wow, okay. Maybe she’s more than just misty-eyed. “You saved me too. From Mistah Jay. From Bats. From what woulda been a really boring life.”

Ivy’s smile slips slightly. “You’re not gonna die on me, are you Harls?”

Harley squeezes her hand. “Nah. You’re stuck with me.” Her words come out a little thick. “For richer or poorer.” 

Her lover leans in close, capturing her lips in a warm kiss. “That’s usually pretty literal for you.”

“HEY.” 

“It’s true! Guess I’ll have to see if Ace or maybe Lexcorp has any funds they won’t miss. I need to get that ring soon. Garnet? Spinel maybe?”

“Aww, shucks. How am I gonna be surprised now?”

Ivy scoffs. “If it’s a real surprise, it’s not a good time for a proposal.”

“But what if I want to be like those girls in those Tik Toks? Like where you propose to me but like I got my own box in my pocket?”

“Harley. A ring box wouldn’t fit in your tiny ass pockets, and you know it.”

“You know what would fit in my shorts?”

“Harleen Francis Quinzel.” Her laughter dissolves in a kiss and Harley pulls her back to their suite. They got a lot of planning to do. Though Harley has a pretty good feeling they’re not gonna get a whole lot of planning done today. But Harley’s okay with that. Pam’s always been the top of her to-do list anyway.

[areiton]

a bright pure pain - stevetony fic

I wrote a short fic set in the Tattoo AU created by @pineapplebread​! 

Read on AO3 

~*~ 

It’s Bucky, who starts it. 

Bucky who lies in bed with Sam, and traces his fingers over the black lettering, and Sam watches him, dark eyes calm and warm and when Bucky murmurs against his throat, “Tell me,” Sam did, spun out stories about the man he loved, before the sky exploded and tore him away. 

Riley came first, and maybe, truthfully, Riley is the one who starts it. 

~*~ 

Sometimes, when they’re out, Bucky will reach out, his fingers brushing over the plane of Sam’s stomach, over the smooth stretch of skin where he knows Riley’s name sits. Sam goes still, always, when it happens, his gaze tracking his boyfriend. 

It happens often enough that Tony notices, because Tony notices everything, tracks the metal hand on Sam’s ribs, the way that Sam’s gaze ticks to Bucky, his smile a little sad. 

“What is it?” he asks, and Sam shrugs. 

“Tattoo. I got it right after I got out,” he says, easy, like he isn’t baring a part of himself, squishy and vulnerable, to Tony’s curious gaze. 

Tony nods, and turns the conversation to the mission Bucky and Sam had gone one, almost tactful in giving Sam space. 

It’s progress.

~*~  

Steve is quiet, after they’re gone, but it’s not the tense kind of quiet that makes Tony anxious, it’s--quiet, comfortable, pensive almost. He watches Steve from across the room as he makes dinner, his eyes distant, like he’s lost in memories. 

It’s still strange that they’re here, together. After--

After everything. The war and Thanos and the long empty years when he clung to bitterness and anger because it was so much easier than admitting what he wanted. After the last gasp of hope, and the months spent trapped together in the past, and that battle when Steve had knelt next to him and he lay dying--

After thinking, it wouldn’t be so bad, to die, if Steve was next to him when he did. 

Well. 

He pushes that thought aside because they’re friends now, finally, pieced themselves back together, and it was the idiotic thought of a dying man, not the rational one sitting in his living room, on his way back to healthy and whole. 

Tony makes a face, feels the scars pull. Not whole. He’d never be whole again. 

“Hey,” Steve says, soft, tugging his attention from the spiral and Tony blinks up at him. “You went away,” Steve says, and Tony flushes. He shifts a little, his legs folded under him as Steve sits down next to him and passes him a bowl of chicken chowder. It’s thick, hearty. There’s a heel of bread, oven warm and garlicky, from the bakery down in Queens that Peter knows he likes. 

He wants, more than he’s wanted anything in a long time, a cheeseburger. 

“Hey, Steve?” he says, and Steve flicks a look at him, curious and patient, and Tony almost bites back the words. 

Steve made dinner. 

They should eat it. 

“Wanna go get a burger with me?” he asks, instead, and a smile, small and real, spreads across his lips. 

~*~ 

They don’t go out often. The public adoration since the battle had been--disconcerting. 

Tony was used to being watched, to being adored. What he wasn’t used to was the fervent outpouring of gratitude that so easily tipped toward almost cult-like. 

“People need to thank someone,” Rhodey said, the one time Tony brought it up. “We’re keeping an eye on the extremists.” 

It’s enough to keep him in the Tower. If it wasn’t, the empty space at his right, the scars snaking up and over his face, shoulder and ribs--they were enough. 

His hand trembles a little, as they reach the garage, and Steve catches his hip, guides him forward until they’re standing by his old bike, the one that Tony is a little surprised to see still running. “Steve. I can’t,” he says, helpless, and Steve smiles, softly. 

“Gotta trust me, Tony,” Steve says, patient and hopeful, holding two helmets and waiting. 

He always waited , let Tony make that last step. 

“I’ll fall,” he says, the fear bright and bitter in his throat. 

“I’ll catch you,” Steve promises. 

Tony can feel this--the heat of tears in his eyes, the burning warmth of Steve’s steady gaze, the way everything settles as that easy promise settles over him with the weight of a vow. 

He nods, a jerky thing, and Steve’s smile blooms, bright as sunshine. 

~*~ 

He rides cradles against Steve’s broad chest, and it’s dangerous, he knows it is. 

Everything about their lives are dangerous, though, and this--here--the only way to hurt him, is to go through Steve, and Tony thinks Steve would rip the universe apart, to keep that from happening. 

He closes his eyes, presses back against the steady strength of him, and Steve leans into him, solid and grounding as the city whips by. 

~*~ 

Steve takes them to a greasy dinner in Brooklyn, where an old waitress named Delores delivers  messy cheeseburgers, enormous plates of fries, and a thick chocolate shake. 

It’s everything he’s been craving for months. 

Steve ignores him while he works his way through his own cheeseburger, doesn’t offer to help when Tony grapples with holding it. 

He quit offering to help after the first two months, when they got into a screaming match and Tony hid in his bedroom for three days. Sometimes, Tony was pretty sure he could see the want in his eyes, could see his fingers twitch towards helping before he forced himself still, a strained smile on his lips, but it happened less and less, and he almost didn’t mind, these days. 

Steve didn’t offer to help because he thought Tony needed it--he offered because he did. 

“Cut it in half for me,” he says, and Steve smirks, reaches over and neatly divides the burger while Tony picks at the fries. 

“Did you know?” 

Steve arches an eyebrow at him, and Tony hides his smile behind half his burger. “About Flybird’s ink?” 

Steve chews, his eyes distant and restless, but eventually swallows and says, “No. I--I kinda suspected, but there’s just some things you don’t ask about.” 

They’re quiet, lost in thought and food and Tony’s considering the second half of his burger when Steve blurts out, “I had a tattoo. For Bucky.” 

Tony goes still, eyes wide and searching. They hadn’t--the one night they’d spent together, when fighting gave way to fucking in Clint’s cramped guestroom, it had been dark. He might have missed a tattoo, then--and he hadn’t seen Steve naked even when they were trapped in the past looking for that goddamn stone, but he’d seen enough and if it was any more intimate, he might need to re-evaluate everything he’d been thinking, recently, everything he quit thinking, after they left the farm and Tony left the team, and Steve did. 

He blinks the thoughts away, focuses on Steve.  

“It--after he fell, one of the Howlies did one for me. Just a nautical star--but it was mine, it was for him and it was,” Steve huffs, smiles a bitter little thing that Tony hates . “It felt like my body, for the first time since Rebirth.” 

“What happened?” he asks, a whisper almost lost in the kitchen clatter of the empty diner. 

“Serum happened,” Steve shrugged. “Body pushed it out. I kept redoing it--poor Jones got real tired of me showing up at his tent--but it never took. I had it, when I went into the ice.” 

Not when he came out. SHIELD would have recorded that. A question burns in his throat, but Steve--Steve’s pushing himself out of the booth, muttering about the bathroom, and Tony swallows the question with the last of his milkshake. 

He doesn’t need to ask, anyway. Why Steve didn’t try again doesn’t matter, not really. 

~*~ 

It’s been seven months, since Thanos, since using that fucking gauntlet that almost killed him, that took his arm and changed his world, and didn’t change a goddamn thing, either. 

Seven months, since he spent any time in his workshop. 

“Hey, Steve,” he says, and Steve looks at him over the top of his paper because he’s a fucking luddite and still reads a paper, just to fuck with Tony. 

His heart is pounding and he wants to wave it off, wants to hide from that expectant stare and the curve of his lips, and the burning itch in the back of his mind that he’s missed for seven goddamn months . 

“I’m gonna go down to the workshop after breakfast,” he says, and Steve smiles, slow and pleased and Tony--Tony grins back, helpless to do anything else. 

 ~*~

It’s Bucky, who starts it, so it makes sense, to drag him back into it. 

“Stevie says you’ve been down here for most of a week.” 

“Yeah,” he taps his fingers nervously, and then straightens up. “I was working on a late birthday present for Steve.” 

“Not sure I wanna know any more about what you’re cooking up if it’s from your shop.” Bucky drawls, and Tony flushes.  

“I’m not making sex toys,” he says, waspish and Bucky grins. 

“His loss,” he says. 

“Stop it. That’s--we’re not sleeping together.” 

Bucky huffs, his expression all irritated exasperation, but he lets it drop. 

They aren’t sleeping together. 

Tony knows there’s something between them, something building that’s been there for so long he can’t remember when it wasn’t. 

It’s different from that night on the farm. 

It’s different even from the months in the past, when they didn’t sleep together, but everything else was stripped away and they were forced together. 

It’s different because Steve stayed, when no one else did. When the world dragged Rhodey back into its damage control, when Pepper quietly voiced what he’d known was coming, when the nightmares and panic attacks and pain pushed Happy and the kid away--Steve stayed. 

And they came back--Rhodey and Peter, Happy and even Pepper, although that was still--difficult. 

But Steve stayed, the kind of stubborn irritating persistence that used to make Tony hate him. 

Except he didn’t. Not really. 

But Steve didn’t push. Not even on the nights when he slept in Tony’s bed, shivering in the clutches of his own nightmares. 

“We’ll get where we’re going,” he says, softly, and then reaches for the vial of inky dark liquid. “Did you know the serum won’t let a tattoo take?” 

Bucky arches an eyebrow, studying it and then flicking a look at Tony. 

“You fixed that, didn’t ya?” 

Tony grins, and shakes the bottle enticingly. “Wanna be my test subject?” 

~*~

He comes back, a week later, Sam in tow for another meeting about the Avengers, and Tony arches his eyebrows, all curious and hopeful and he nods. There’s something peaceful and very very tired about his gaze, that worries Tony, and Sam stays close to him, almost cuddling him at the damn table. “It works,” he says, shortly, and Tony almost asks, what he got. 

That wounded exhaustion and Sam’s warning look keeps his mouth shut for a moment, but then, “Are you ok?” 

Bucky laughs, and it’s wet and wounded and hurts. 

But it’s happy, too, a kind of bright purity that comes from the good clean pain of healing. Tony has spent months loathing and learning that pain. 

“I’m ok, Stark. I’m gonna be ok.” 

~*~

“Would you get one, again? If you could make it stick, this time. Would you get another tattoo?” 

Steve looks at him. They’re in Tony’s bathroom, brushing their teeth. His hands smell of the scar cream he rubs into Tony’s shoulder and side, twice a day, and there’s a smear of it on Tony’s cheek, near his hair, and Steve reaches out, thumbs it aside and smears the excess onto his faded pants. 

Tony makes a face. 

Steve spits into the sink, rinses and straightens and Tony is still staring at him, eyes hopeful and impatient, familiar in a face that is still sometimes unfamiliar, and he nods. “The tattoo--it helped me feel like this was actually my body, not something I was shoved into, that was eating up Steve Rogers. It was Steve Rogers. It was a choice I made.” 

Tony nods, and something clears in his eyes. He hipchecks Steve lightly aside, spits and rinses, before he straightens and says. “I have something for you.” 

~*~ 

The vial of ink sits in his palm, a tiny liquid promise, and Tony watches him, with big dark eyes, small against the sea of pillows and broad bed, and Steve loves him. 

Loves him so much it hurts, sometimes. 

Loving Tony has been the best, sweetest pain he’s ever known. 

“Sweetheart,” he breathes. 

“We’re still working on it. On color. But. It’s--I want you to have this. You deserve to have this. Bucky tested it, and his body hasn’t rejected it, so--” Tony takes a breath. Smiles, small and brittle and Steve remembers him, before, larger than life with his grand gesture presents, with tech and suits and weapons and homes. 

This--a tiny vial of ink. 

It’s the sweetest thing Tony’s ever done for him, in a decade of gifts and sacrifice. 

He leans over, brushes his lips against his cheek, the scars unfamiliar and somehow soft under his lips, and breathes, “Thank you, sweetheart.” 

[telli1206]

A Christmas To Remember (Ch.5 - Final)

@descendantsgiftexchange Finally! The last chapter 😁 So sorry for the delay  @vndooms, but I do hope you still enjoy the story! I tried to make it just the fluffiest and sweet Christmas Jaylos, just like you wanted. Also, since you wanted a Hallmark Christmas...each Chapter is actually named after a real Hallmark Christmas movie 😉 

Chapter 1     Chapter 2     Chapter 3     Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - The Sweetest Christmas

“Jay? Are you down here??”

Jay stirs at the sound of Carlos’ voice. It seems...distant. He reaches over to check his boyfriend’s spot on the bed-

“Oof!”

He lands on the floor with a hard thud. Popping up quickly, he blinks the sleep out of his eyes to try to place where he is, but a glance down at the couch he’s standing next to and he already knows exactly what happened.

Well, shit. This is definitely not how he wanted Christmas morning to start.

“Jay??”

“In here ‘Los!” Jay calls out. He starts sorting his hair out before Carlos sees him, dragging his fingers through it harshly to comb out the snarls.

Carlos’ head pops in from the kitchen, his furrowed brow smoothing as soon as he lays eyes on Jay. “There you are,” he sighs, shuffling over and wrapping his arms around Jay’s waist. “Why didn’t you come to bed last night?”

Jay sighs, hugging Carlos close and burying his face in white curls. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He lets one hand rub circles into Carlos’ back as he pulls away a little, looking into sad and tired brown eyes. “I was working on...something. With Evie. To add to your gift.

“A gift. For me?” Carlos lights up almost instantly, a smile quickly spreading on his lips. Jay bites his lip to fight back a chuckle. Carlos’ excitement mirrors a kid at Christmas and it’s adorable.

Jay nods, leaning in for a short kiss. “Merry Christmas, Carlos.”

Carlos grins happily at Jay and kisses him again. “Merry Christmas, Jay.”

Carlos grabs Jay’s hand, curling their fingers together to lead him into the kitchen and bumping his shoulder lightly as they walk.

“You know exactly what to say to get out of trouble, don’t you?” Carlos teases, ducking his head to hide his pinking cheeks. “It’s not like I can be upset when I know you were working on a present for me. Even if I did wake up cold and alone in our bed,” he adds with a pout.

“Aw, you know I hate to hear that,” Jay groans, releasing their hands to wrap his arms around Carlos’ shoulders. “Especially not on Christmas day. I love being your space heater,” he adds with a kiss to Carlos’ temple.

Evie and Doug are just sitting down at the table when Jay and Carlos walk into the kitchen, and the sight of them has Evie bouncing back up quickly, her robe flapping behind her as she makes a mad dash into Carlos’ arms.

“Oh! Merry, merry Christmas you two!” She coos, squeezing Carlos tightly before launching herself at Jay. “It’s so wonderful that we get to be here all together, isn’t it?? I can’t think of a better way to spend Christmas.”

“I think it’s safe to assume Evie is up, because I can’t think of anyone else that could be that chipper in the morning.”

Mal drags her feet lazily into the kitchen, her arm draped across Ben for support. “Aren’t you all just a bunch of fuckin’ noisy early birds?” She teases, lips curled into a half smile.

Evie just grins and shakes her head, already walking over to Mal and wrapping her arms around her, not even giving her enough time to dislodge from Ben. It’s an awkward hug, but still as sweet and loving as any Jay has seen between the girls.

“Merry Christmas, Mally,” Evie sings sweetly from Mal’s shoulder, prompting the girl’s smile to widen.

“Ok, ok. Merry Christmas, Eves,” Mal resigns with a happy sigh. “Now,” she adds as she pulls back, “how about we take this sappy show into the living room? I propose we eat after presents, if that works for everyone?”

Her glance flicks over to Jay, a smug smile tugging at her lips. Jay chokes back a snort when he sees her, lowering his eyes and giving a tiny shake of his head. As grateful as he is for the gift ideas that Mal and Evie had helped him come up with and execute last night, Mal’s eagerness to show off what they did is just the tiniest bit funny, especially coming from his favorite cynical bitch.

He looks back over at Mal in time to catch her knowing look at Evie, her cheeks flushed with excitement and green eyes widening. Jay can’t believe how quickly his friends are being reduced to overexcited children at the mere idea of celebrating Christmas morning. But, really, it’s just too damn cute to complain about.

And if he’s being honest with himself, he can’t remember a Christmas where he’s been this excited, either. With all of his friends gathered together, and with nothing to do all day but open presents and enjoy each other’s company? He can’t deny that the promise of a day like that has him feeling a little like a giddy little kid, too.

——-

Doug is recruited to rouse Jane and Lonnie so they can start opening the gifts all together, despite his VERY vocal reluctance to do so. And Jay and Mal’s continued joking about what he might encounter up there, with both girls completely alone, in their bedroom, does nothing to reassure him. Evie is fully aware of this too, clearly, as she gives Jay and Mal her usual disapproving glare.Their level of entertainment from making Doug flush and fluster has not diminished at all over the years.

Fortunately, bringing Jane and Lonnie downstairs is largely uneventful, at least from what Doug tells them when they finally make it to the main living area. Though Jane’s bright pink cheeks and muffled giggles as she clings to Lonnie’s arm might suggest otherwise. But no one questions it when they plop down onto the floor in front of the tree, with Jane scooting close to Carlos to give him a hug and wish him a Merry Christmas, and Lonnie ending up opposite them, gripping Jay’s arm and hooking it over her shoulders.

“Big day, huh? Merry Christmas, Jay,” she tells him, her smile wide and toothy.

“Yeah. Merry Christmas Lons.” Jay tips his head to let it rest on hers while hugging her shoulders.

“Is it everything you hoped it would be?”

Lonnie turns to face Jay better, staring curiously at his face to gauge his reaction.

He grins brightly at her. “A little too early to say, but I have a feeling it will be. I mean, I have you here with me, right? So it’s already great.”

“Damn straight!” Lonnie agrees, bursting out a chuckle. “I’m glad you finally realized that, Jay-Bear.”

Lonnie’s laughs are muffled as Jay pulls her into his chest, hugging her around the neck and ruffling her hair as she tries to push away from him. But they pull apart suddenly when Mal stands up and claps loudly.

“Alright alright, how about we start passing out gifts now? I’m dying to see what my Benny Boo got me anyway,” Mal teases, giving Ben a playful pinch to his cheeks.

Ben rolls his eyes and plants a kiss on Mal’s nose before pushing himself off the couch to snatch an envelope from under the tree.

“Just remember, great things come in small packages,” he adds, before giving Mal a teasing wink and handing her the envelope.

A snort from behind him catches Ben’s attention, but Carlos and Lonnie both launch themselves at Jay to smack a hand over his mouth before he can make any retort. They finally let go of him when he raises his hands in surrender.

“You’re no fun,” he mumbles.

The group quickly descends on the gifts under the tree, passing them around until everyone has their own presents laid out in front of them. They all begin their unwrapping at the same time to the soft din of conversation and laughter, taking their time to enjoy each other’s company on Christmas morning and excitedly share all that they received.

“Well shit Ben, you weren’t kidding about those small packages!” Jay chokes out when Mal opens her gift. “A whole fuckin’ island??  Damn Ben, you wanna marry me instead? I’ll treat you good, I swear!. Shit, for my own island I’ll treat you any way you want.”

Jay wheezes as a firm hand is smacked into his chest. He grabs it tightly, pulling Carlos into him for a hug and kissing him solidly on the cheek as he tries to wiggle out of Jay’s grasp.

“Aw, don’t be mad ‘Los, you know I’m kidding! Besides, what would I do with a whole island if I couldn’t share it with you? Hmm?” He asks sweetly, kissing Carlos again before he pulls away to sit back upright.

Carlos rolls his eyes, absentmindedly toying with the red ribbon on the box in front of him. A tiny smile splays on his lips as he looks at the gift, which morphs into a wicked grin when he locks eyes with Jay.

“How about I decide how I feel after I open my gift?” He asks coyly, waggling his eyebrows. “Then we can see if your gifts are as smooth as your words.”

Jay smirks proudly, giving Carlos a nod as he pushes the box closer. “Go for it,” he challenges, puffing out his chest confidently. He’s very sure that Carlos will love what Evie and Mal helped him come up with, so he’d rather not waste another second waiting for him to open it. And if he earns extra brownie points for his smoothness? He’ll take them, gladly.

A glimmer of excitement sparkles in his eyes as Carlos tucks into his present, sliding off the bow and tearing off the paper with absolute vigor. Jay swears he can hear a tiny squeal slip from the boy’s lips as he reaches the box, pausing for a breath before lifting the lid to peer inside.

Jay chews on his lip while he watches Carlos silently, a nervous energy building in his gut when he sees him lift the first gift out of the box. It was a stack of cards, and Carlos flips them over in his hands, slipping the first card out of the rubber band to examine it more closely.

“Harry?” He gives Jay a confused look, then pulls out the next card. “and...Chad?”

Carlos sifts through the cards, quickly glancing at every one. “Jay, this is a stack of cards...of all of my friends?”

“Yeah,” Jay agrees, rubbing at his neck awkwardly. “It’s a...game. Mal helped me come up with it.”

He takes the stack of cards from Carlos’ hands, lifting Harry’s card from the top and tipping it away from him. “When it’s your turn, you hold up the top card away from you, and the other players give you two facts about the person on the card. You guess who it is based on the facts that you get. So, the weirder and more random the facts are, the harder it is. The player who guesses the most people in 60 seconds wins.”

Jay places the deck back into Carlos’ hands, and watches his face intently when he pulls back. He has no time to scrutinize Carlos’ reaction, however, as the boy’s bright eyes immediately meet his, with a radiating smile already on his lips.

“Jay, this is...awesome!” he coos, dragging his fingers across the cards lightly as he stares at them in awe. “I can’t wait to play this! Thank you so much, I love it.”

Jay feels a flush of warmth in his cheeks at the sincerity in Carlos’ voice, his heart swelling with joy as he grins back at his boyfriend. Emboldened by Carlos’ excited response, Jay eagerly lunges forward, thrusting his hand into the box in front of Carlos, prompting a squeak of surprise. He whips out one more wrapped item, dropping it in front of Carlos with a flustered gasp of breath.

“There’s one more! And if you loved that, I think you’ll go nuts for this one!”

He keeps his eyes trained on the box as Carlos lifts off the lid and peers inside.

“Oh!” Carlos exclaims, picking up a large photo print. “It’s the castle! Did you take this picture on the day we got here?”

Jane and Lonnie huddle up to Carlos, leaning over his shoulder to take a peek.

“Oh look!” Jane squeals, poking at the picture. “Lonnie, there are the snow angels we made! What a pretty shot, Jay. The snow looks magical!”

Lonnie nods vigorously, elbowing Jay in the shoulder. “I like it, Jay-bear. What a thoughtful gift.”

Jay snorts and shakes his head at them. “Oh please. I did better than that.”

He pushes the photo aside, gesturing inside the box it came from. “I made a puzzle.”

“What?!”

Carlos can’t hide his surprise as he pulls the box close. “How...how, did you do that?”

Jay smiles proudly, glancing back at Evie and Mal. “It’s cake, ya know, when you’ve got the queen of Auradon and the world’s most creative designer backing you up.”

Evie steps forward and smiles curtly, her soft red lips pressed together and eyes crinkled with a gaze of warm affection. “Jay really wanted to give you something to remember this Christmas by, Carlos. And, to show you how grateful he is that you’ve been such a good sport with all of his activities-”

“-to show all of us,” Mal interjects, smirking at Jay.

“Right. To show all of us,” Evie agrees, giggling quietly. “Today, we’re going to have a cozy day inside. We can use your gifts, if you want, or just...hang out in our pj’s and relax together. I’m even going to serve breakfast right in here. Today is going to just be about-”

“-being lazy asses together,” Mal finishes. Evie whips her head to glare at Mal, but her look immediately softens at the girl’s teasing smile, and she simply shakes her head.

“Enjoying each other’s company,” Evie corrects her. Then she turns back to Carlos. “Merry Christmas, Carlos.”

Carlos is glowing, his smile stretched wide as he beams at Evie, Mal, and back to Jay. “That’s, exactly what I wanted. Thank you so much.”

Carlos leans in towards Jay, who meets him halfway to connect their lips softly. It’s a short kiss. It always is when they’re in public, to keep from flustering Carlos too much with added attention.

That doesn’t stop it from being interrupted with an irritated groan, though.

“Ok, ok! Jay did good, we get it. Not a shocker. He has us to help him look good,” Mal jokes with a smug grin. “But there’s still gifts to open! And I needed food like, an hour ago. Chop chop!”

Soon after, animated chatter and shrieks of excitement are following a flurry of torn wrapping paper and bows. Gifts are being opened and presented with flourish while breakfast is served, the sweet scent of cinnamon rolls permeating the air.

Jay licks the icing off his lips as he watches in silence, taking in the joyful squeals and bursting smiles of his friends, their cheeks flushed from the warmth of the fireplace and steaming cups of hot chocolate all around. The happiness in the room was almost palpable, as thick and enjoyable as the whipped cream swirled on each mug. Jay couldn’t think of a morning he had ever enjoyed as much as this one.

-----

Just as Evie promised, their day was spent inside, with not a single one of them even bothering to change out of their pajamas. A lazy day by all definitions, but not boring. Not at all. Actually, they had quickly discovered that the game that Jay had given Carlos was absolutely hilarious, and just couldn’t get enough of it. Half the day was gone in an instant before they had even considered another activity. The facts that were being shared about their friends were just too good to stop.

Well, except for dinner, maybe. Food had been a long forgotten commodity at that point, and the feast Evie and Doug had had prepared was smelling way too good to resist.

“Why am I not surprised that Chad would carry an emergency mirror around in his shoe?” Carlos asks, snorting a little as he packs up the cards. Jay chuckles, handing him a stack when he stands up.

“Forget about that, I’m trying to figure out when Harry had a crush on you! He never said a word about you to me.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ve talked to him much recently,” Carlos contemplates. He plops down onto the nearest couch, waiting patiently while Jay curls in next to him, letting a hand fall on Carlos’ knee as he settles into place.

“But. We used to...hang out. A lot.”

Jay hesitates at the memory, letting a thumb trace circles on Carlos’ knee while he mulls over his words.

“From what you’ve told me, you didn’t do much talking then, either.”

Jay’s head shoots up, eyes narrowing at Carlos’ wicked smile. He slides his hand off Carlos’ knee, slowly letting it creep under the hem of the boy’s shirt.

“Low blow, ‘Los,” he snarks. “Do I need to remind you what happens when you try to tease me?”

He gives Carlos’ side a harsh squeeze, making the boy squeal and jump back. “Ok, ok, stop!” he wheezes, prying at Jay’s fingers to try to pull them off. “I’m sorry!”

Jay grins and leans closer, burying his face in Carlos’ neck before leaving a trail of wet sloppy kisses up to his jaw. Carlos squirms and wiggles to get away from Jay, breathless and panting from his own laughter.

“I give! I give! Stop, pleeeeease.”

Jay pulls back,, smirking as Carlos huffs out a few breaths, finally bracing himself on his arms to push himself back upright.

“Rude,” Carlos states flatly, sticking out his tongue. “It’s not my fault you hooked up with Hook.” He sniggers at his comment, trying to hide his smile. “Get it? You hooked-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jay groans, rolling his eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute, cause your jokes could use some work.”

“And yet, you still love me,” Carlos adds, grinning as he goes in for a kiss. “So what does that say about you?”

Jay smiles into the kiss, wrapping fingers around Carlos’ neck to keep him in place.

“That I’m lucky, too.”

-----

The last few hours of their evening are spent tackling Carlos’ new puzzle. Carlos had asked to start it immediately after dinner, and the glow of elation on his face was too adorable for Jay to even try to resist.

Even if the puzzle was huge. And exhausting.

Not surprisingly, Mal gives up first, barely a few minutes into the puzzle. She moans that her blood sugar is low, and she might pass out if she doesn’t get something right away. Her dramatic display is just enough to goad Ben to abandon the puzzle, too.

“Alright, let’s go,” he sighs, pulling Mal up on her feet. “I’ll pull together a snack for you in the kitchen.”

“You mean, you’ll cut me another piece of strawberry cheesecake, right?” Mal lets her lip jut out in a fake pout, but it’s more playful than pleading.

“Of course, my queen,” Ben teases with a roll of his eyes. They give a casual wave as they make a quick exit to the kitchen.

“She must’ve been hungry,” Jane observes montonely, her eyes never leaving the puzzle. She’s too focused on filling in the corner snow angels to pay any real attention to her surroundings.

Lonnie stays close to Jane, occasionally leaning over her shoulder to hand her her more pieces of the puzzle as she finds them. They both seem to be concentrating on the section they’re assembling, but every few minutes or so Lonnie lets her fingers drag across Jane’s earlobe, smiling happily at the glint of blue topaz from earrings she had given to Jane. It makes Jane smile wide each time, tilting her head to nuzzle against Lonnie’s cheek.

Jay watches them for a moment, a satisfied grin spread on his face. When Lonnie catches his eye, he can’t resist giving her a proud wink. She shakes her head with a chuckle but still returns the gesture, leaning back into the beautiful brunette by her side.

Hay can hardly describe how this day has made him feel. He’s...intoxicated. Either from utter happiness, or maybe just the warm mulled cider cupped in his hands. But either way it’s the best feeling. While this whole week has been great, Jay has to admit that today, and the close, intimate time he got to spend with his friends, with Carlos, has been his favorite.

It’s a gentle reminder to him why he loves his boyfriend so much. While he doesn’t always agree with Carlos’ idea of a good time, the little genius knows exactly how to fill his life with meaningful moments that he can treasure forever, and he’s definitely grateful to Carlos for giving him that.

But when Jay glances at Carlos, with his half-hooded eyes and fingers sliding uselessly over the pieces spread out on the coffee table, making no effort to pick any up to sort them out, he knows Carlos is done with making meaningful moments for the night.

“‘Los?”

“Hmmm?” Carlos responds lazily, pursing his lips to fight back a yawn.

“How about we finish this up tomorrow?” Jay implores, and clasps a hand under Carlos’ elbow to help lift him up. “We can get back to it first thing in the morning.”

Carlos gives in to the yawns he’s been fighting, rising up slowly at Jay’s urging. “Mmmhm.” He hums into Jay’s shoulder as he cuddles himself into Jay’s chest, letting himself be held up by the strong, muscular arms now draped across his shoulders.

After sleepy goodnight mumbles are passed, Jay starts to guide Carlos slowly upstairs to their room. For their entire trek he keeps talking to Carlos despite his head starting to droop on Jay’s shoulders. His hand on Carlos’ shoulder is in continuous motion too - anything to keep his boyfriend awake for just a little longer.

He has just one more surprise planned for this week.

Carlos makes a beeline for the bed as soon as they get to their room, crawling on all fours across to his side and lifting the blanket to burrow underneath. Jay watches him from the doorway, pulling the door closed softly behind him before walking around to wear Carlos has settled.

“Hey, don’t go to sleep just yet, ok?”

Jay drops down beside Carlos, resting one arm on the bed as he reaches to stroke Carlos’ cheek with the other. “I have one more gift for you.”

One brown eye pops open, and Carlos turns to face Jay while he slowly opens the other. “Y-you do?”

He props himself up on his elbows, leaning in close to study Jay’ face. “But, you got me so much. I only got you that stupid snowboard.”

“Hey, I love that snowboard,” Jay insists, kissing Carlos on the cheek. “It’s exactly what I wanted and it’s perfect. And anyway, this other gift is kind of...for both of us. Ok?”

“Ok…” Carlos looks up at him, still hesitant.

“I had this plan, originally,” Jay cuts in quickly. “...to take you hiking, in the mountains. And we’d stay in a cabin, right there on the mountainside. It’s so beautiful there, I know you’d love it. And I had places picked out already, to hike to, and waterfalls we could climb and jump off of, gorgeous hills for ziplining. And we could just, do all these amazing things. Together.Thrilling, unforgettable, heartstopping things that we’d remember forever.”

Jay takes Carlos’ hands in his and looks into his eyes. He’s smiling sincerely, and his eyes are wide with surprise, as if Jay’s plans do sound exciting. Jay almost considers going back to that plan, if Carlos is responding so well to it.

But he knows there’s something he would love even more.

“But...that’s not the plan anymore.”

Carlos tilts his head, looking confused, so Jay continues. “I talked to Mal and Ben already. They’re going to let us stay on Mal’s island. As a little vacation, for us. It’s all ours for a week.”

“What?? Really??”

Carlos pops up fully, forcing Jay to stumble back with a laugh. But it doesn’t matter, because his boyfriend’s huge smile is worth it. “Yeah, ‘Los. They want us to. We’re gonna chill on a beach for a week, just you and me.”

Carlos squeals happily, pulling Jay into a hug. “That sounds so perfect! Thank you!” But then he pulls back, just as quickly, giving a quizzical look. “But...why did you change your plan? What happened to the mountains?”

Jay’s still smiling, and he takes Carlos’ hands again. He’s sure now that he made the right decision.

“Because, ‘Los. I planned so much fun, crazy shit this week. Cutting down trees, sledding, ice skating-”

“And I loved it!” Carlos interrupts, voice sharp and insistent. “This week has been so fun, all thanks to you.”

Jay chuckles, shaking his head. “Thanks, that means a lot to me. I was just trying to make it a special time for us. For you.”

He squeezes Carlos’ hand. “But, I realized something this week. Well, maybe Mal helped me a little,” he adds with a snicker, “but she’s right, like always.”

He wraps his arm around Carlos’ shoulders and pulls him close. “I love everything we do together. But, I’m the one that loves sports. And being active, doing stuff outside. I feel like...everything I planned, everything that I thought you would love to do...they were more, things I love to do. I’m saying you don’t love them. I just...love them more, you know?”

Carlos’ smile reaches his eyes as he listens to Jay, and he nods his understanding. Jay pulls Carlos even closer, nuzzling along his temple.

“And as much as I want to share the stuff I love with you,” he adds, “I should...I want, to share yours with you, too. And I do! I really, really do. So, we’re going to sit on a beach, and relax, and enjoy each other’s company. We’ll save the world’s best hiking adventure for another day.”

Carlos bursts into giggles, nudging Jay as he grins smugly.

“Thanks, I think,” Carlos pants through his laughter. “But, this could become the world’s best beach adventure, you never know.”

“True,” Jay admits with a grin. “I’m not sure we can call laying on the beach an adventure, though.”

Carlos taps his chin with his finger, pretending to think but not hiding his smirk. “Well who says we have to just lay on a beach the whole time? This trip sounds like the perfect opportunity to try out surfing, don’t you think? I mean, I’m sure you’ll be better at it than me, but I’m willing to try. I’ll try anything, as long as it’s with you.”

Jay’s smile brightens, his cheeks pinking from the flush of warmth through his body as he pulls Carlos in again. He feels so...content. Happy. Loved.

“Same here, Carlos.”

This didn’t feel like the vacation of his dreams, at first. But he’s going to be with Carlos, making him happy. And that gets his blood thrumming harder than even the most extreme sport ever could. So he’s definitely willing to give a vacation like this a try, for Carlos.

[somedayonbroadway]

I need more daddy Jack and baby Tyler James. Who would be in Jack’s corner helping him and encouraging him that he’ll be a great dad? And thinking about Tyler taking his first steps and Jack is just a giant mess!!!

An Angel Come to Save Me Masterlist

In Jack’s corner so far: David. Medda. That might be it.

TW: brief mention of child abuse

Pleas enjoy!

Smiling was something Jack had been getting used to over the past seven months. It hadn’t been something he’d done too much of growing up, not with Snyder at every corner. He’d gotten used to being alone, being quiet and doing as he was told as much as he could just to avoid sleeping in the closet. Now, it wasn’t like he was happy everyday, but the magical giggle of the little boy in front of him would never cease to make him happy.

Currently, his little boy was sitting in front of him, crawling around on the wood floor and playing with some of his toys. Mostly, he liked chewing and throwing. Today, he seemed to favor chewing and Jack was grateful for that, being that they were not in their apartment and instead sat in the midst of what had been described to him as a “modest penthouse.” It was bigger than anywhere Jack had ever lived.

“I brought out some snacks for you, baby. I hope it’s enough…” A tray of cheese, crackers, fruits, vegetables and little cakes were set in front of him. Jack’s eyes widened and his smile grew as he looked up at the kind woman above him. The nurse who had helped deliver his son. David trailed in behind her a couple of sodas in his hands.

“Miss Medda, this is perfect. Thank you so much!” he said, waiting for Medda to take a bite of something first before he took her food. He was hungry.

But David handed humor a cracker with some cheese before sitting down on the couch with Medda, allowing Jack to toss the thing in his mouth before he let his son grasp at both of his hands after tossing his small yellow rubber duck aside. He made faces at his baby, getting the boy to laugh as the child let himself be pulled up to his tiny feet. Jack has been encouraging him to stand. The boy hadn’t been quite strong enough to walk yet, but Jack loved to see the curious smile on his face as he realized that he might be able to run one day.

When Miss Medda cleared her throat, Jack looked up, his smile falling a little when he saw the unease on her features. “What’s wrong?”

Medda shook her head. “It’s nothin’, baby…” she tried to play off, though it was clear something was bothering her. “I just wanted to see how you were doing and finally meet Tyler’s godfather.” She pat David on the knee and the boy smiled. “And I… I heard from your mother the other day… she asked how you were doin’.”

There it was. Jack's smile fell just a little bit. He knew what his mother wanted. His mother was delusional. She wanted her “happy family” back. Well, Jack wasn’t falling for that. He wouldn’t. He had too much to lose now.

Tyler seemed to sense that something was wrong. He stopped giggling. Instead, he fell down to his hands and began to crawl around until he made his way into his father’s lap. Jack held him gingerly. “I won’t talk to her until she leaves him,” he whispered, picking up Tyler’s rubber duck and handing it back to him for the baby to play.

Miss Medda had known his mother, once upon a time. They’d been friends. That didn’t mean anything to Jack. He still didn’t want to see his mother.

“I understand, sweetheart,” Medda smiled, looking down at the baby that had brought her closer to these boys. “I just wanted you to know that she hasn’t forgotten about you,” she assured.

Jack managed a sad smile as he let his baby stand up on his thigh, grasping at his shirt. He nodded as David stood up, sinking to the floor beside him and digging in Jack’s bag for a rattle. Tyler loved that rattle.

“Listen… Jack, I know that when Tyler was born, you weren’t planning on any of this happening and,” taking a deep breath, Medda folded her hands in her lap and looked down, almost ashamed. “I feel like I might have pressured you into this and I just want you to know how thankful I am that you and Tyler are alright. I never meant to pressure you into anything,” she admitted.

That’s what really got Jack’s attention. He looked up as the woman who had been nothing but kind to him since the day they’d met. “Miss Medda, if it weren’t for you…” It was still hard to imagine the possibility. He still didn’t know what Snyder had had in mind when he’d agreed to raise the child. “Davey was the only one that thought I could do this before I met you,” he admitted with a small laugh.

“And who was right?” his best friend teased, making a face at his nephew to get the boy to laugh again. Tyler was a giggly baby and everyone just adored it.

Rolling his eyes at his friend, Jack sighed. “Hearing it from an adult… I dunno… I just… Will was never fit to be a parents n’... I don’ think he was plannin’ on actually keepin’ him afterwards.” They very thought made Jack feel sick. He couldn’t prove anything, but Snyder had always done anything necessary to get a little extra cash. The thought seemed ludicrous sometimes, but still, Jack never wanted to find out if what he imagined was a real possibility.

Medda patted his shoulder, unsure of what to say as they both watched Tyler dance as he held onto his uncle’s fingers. David laughed with him, turning the boy around to face Jack who grinned at the sight.

That’s when Tyler tried to step towards his father. Jack gasped and Medda pulled out her phone to start recording.

“What, kiddo? You wanna get ta daddy?” Davey asked, a giant grin on his face.

Jack smiled at his son, happy tears stinging at his eyes as the boy grabbed for him with a delighted squeal. “Yeah, baby, c’mere,” he encouraged, holding his arms out to the little boy who brought him so much pride and joy when nothing else in the world could. “Daddy’s right here…”

Medda grinned as she watched the boys, capturing the moment forever as Tyler rested the strength of his legs. With only one hand to hold Davey’s finger, the boy took what Medda could only assume were his first steps as Jack became somewhat of a mess, gasping in excitement and letting tears trail down his cheeks all at once. “Yes, my angel! That’s so good!” he laughed, reaching out further for the child as David’s arm was only so long. Eventually, the boy let go and, before he could topple over, Jack lifted him up into the air and expertly brought him back down so their foreheads touched. “That’s my boy!” He spoke in what most referred to as baby-talk when he was communicating with his son. It just made Medda’s heart melt all the more.

She watched Jack hold Tyler close, showering him with more love and affection than he’d ever shown himself. Suddenly, the unease she’d been burdened with for all those months was long gone.

This was the way the universe had intended it. And all she could be was proud to have any part in it.

[anotherhargrovebitch]

i’m not your baby anymore : b.h

part three of don’t call him baby mini series! thanks for all the love and support - i hope this does justice (2.2k) 

oh and shout out to @belledawnidk who asked to be tagged!

o n e //  t w o //  t h r e e 

* stranger things writing *

bold/italics - past events 

“Come to think of it, there’s a good pool at er, Motel Six. It’s very quiet, very private.” Billy focuses on Karen’s lips, watching as nerves rise in her expression as she darts her eyes from his growing smirk. “Shall we say tonight, eight o clock?” He chews his gum, meeting her doe eyes. 

Karen shifts her weight from one foot to the other, fiddling with her towel as she averts her gaze. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” She states calmly, ignoring her heart rate increasing as Billy raises an eyebrow, his face still in close proximity to hers. 

“Can’t have fun?” Billy chuckles, and the two continue to flirt ignoring everyone else around them. 

As Karen Wheeler walks away, Billy can feel that familiar pit in his stomach returning, knowing he’s got one more thing to do before he can put everything aside for the night.

*

Taking a deep breath, Billy pulled up down the street. It was a spot he had gotten used to, even if your neighbours opened their curtains and stared at him. Sometimes he’d have the courage to wave and force a smile, but other times he ignored them in the hope they’d allow him some privacy. 

This was the last chance he told himself. One more time of giving himself the opportunity to talk to you, rather than watch you from a safe distance.

“Come on, dick.” Billy mutters under his breath as he lights a cigarette, inhaling deeply before exhaling, filling the car with smoke. 

It was becoming harder to ignore you as Summer was progressing. He felt like he could no longer avoid you like he once did in the corridors of the school. Billy saw you everywhere, small details or things you had mentioned. Every time it happens, Max finds out. 

Seeing Billy so lovesick isn’t something Max ever anticipated witnessing. She knew Billy as a bit of a dick to girls, a womaniser or something slightly perverted. But when you came along, everything seemingly changed for the better and now, now everything has come to a halt in his life. 

“You know, she asks about you sometimes,” Max rests against Billy’s door, keeping her eyes trained to the pieces of ash buried in his carpet. 

She knew she was edging close to dangerous waters, unsure whether to take the leap or let the currents rise. 

Billy shuffles, taking his fingers away from the locket he still wears. “She does?” He questions, forcing himself to sit upright as he faces Max. Biting his lower lip, he tries to stop his heartbeat racing inside of his chest. “What, what does she ask?” He stumbles over his words, something Max smiles at. 

“She, she asks if you’re doing alright. Like, with the lifeguard job and if you’re seeing anyone.” Max says quietly, listening to Billy huff as his whole demeanour changes from something soft to more aggressive.

Clenching his bedding tightly, Billy refuses to meet Max’s eyes. “Dumb bitch.” He mutters forcefully as he rises to his feet, looking down as Max’s face is filled with fear. “Move, Maxine.” He spits and she complies, rising to her feet and leaving the room. 

“Billy, don’t do something you’ll regret!” She yells after him as he grabs his keys and jacket, slamming the front door behind him. “Shit.” She whispers as she runs down the stairs and opens the door, only to see Billy already speeding off down the street with his music blaring. 

He shouldn’t be angry at you, but he can’t help it. 

You got to move on, you had the chance to restart but he couldn’t. Billy didn’t want to. Yet, despite it being over a year, you still ask about him? 

Slamming his car door, Billy throws his cigarette butt to the ground as he grinds on it with his boot. He locks the door, taking one last look at his reflection in the side mirror. 

Licking his lips, Billy runs his fingers through his curls before shrugging his jacket and walking down the path he could follow in his sleep. He takes a look up to see only your bedroom light illuminated inside of the house, and no sign of Harrington’s car. 

“Now or never.” Billy tells himself as he nears your house, this having been the closest to you he’s been in months. 

Looking down at his feet, Billy stands on the welcome mat. It’s Thursday evening, and some things never change about you or your family. He can still hear the wind charm blowing, the sweet notes it produces from the side of the porch whilst your dog barks at the sound of Billy’s movements. 

He raises his fist, forcing himself to knock as he turns around, wondering if it’s too late to make a run for it. 

“I’m coming!” You cheerfully yell from the other side of the door, oblivious to whom you’re about to be faced with. 

Billy tenses as he listens to the locks turning, all three being unbolted as you open it with a bright smile, only to have it falter as Billy stands in front of you. “Hi.” He manages to breathe out, his mind clouding over as you hide most of yourself behind the door, barely looking him in the eye. 

“Billy, what’re you doing here?” You question coldly as Billy blinks rapidly, hearing his name being muttered in sorrow as opposed to joy.

“I was just passing,” He looks back over his shoulder, feeling all of your neighbour's eyes watching him closely.

In his head, he imagines they’ve all heard the stories about him, that your Mom would’ve gossiped about how he broke your heart by cheating. He didn’t have your Mom down as a bad person, but she definitely would be the sort to twist facts like your breakup. 

You raise an eyebrow to him, your smile remaining dormant from his view. “You were just passing through this part of town, where nothing is?” You respond, crossing your arms as you open the door a slither more. “What’re you really doing here, Billy?” You reiterate your former question, knowing he can’t avoid the truth forever. 

Billy exhales loudly, burying his hands deeper into the pockets of his leather jacket. “I wanted to talk to you, Y/n.” He admits, the pet name so close to rolling from his tongue but he bites it back. “I know it’s been a long time, but can we just talk about some things?” He asks you calmly, hiding his pent up anger as he grips the cigarette box in his left pocket. 

Glancing over your shoulder, you focus on the time. You know there’s enough time for you to both talk, for you to scream and cry and him to leave before Steve comes. But you want to be selfish and say no. 

“Come in, Billy.” You lower your head as you step back, pulling the door toward you as he walks in. 

His eyes roam around, noticing small changes decorating the hallway. 

“You changed it up in here.” He comments, looking back as you nod softly before walking into the living room.

Billy remains on his feet as you take a seat in the armchair, watching as he seems unsure of himself for the first time. “You can sit down, Billy.” You tell him, and as soon as you state that he obliges. “So, what’d you wanna tell me then?” You get straight to the point, not wanting to dance around the topic. 

Shuffling in the seat, Billy sits on the edge of the three-seater sofa. He focuses on his shaking knee, unaware of you watching intently at the small details that have changed about him.

Your eyes roam over his face, picking up the freckles that always reappear in the summertime. How that slit in his eyebrow as scarred from one of Neil’s punches. There are fewer cuts and bruises for once, but you know that they must be concealed beneath the layers of his clothing. 

“I wanted to apologise to you, Y/n.” He starts, still unable to look you directly in the eyes. “As I never did properly, I mean, I tried but understandably, you didn’t wanna talk.” He states, glancing up to see you nod in response. “And, and Max says you ask about me sometimes?” 

Billy looks over, seeing your hand grip the arm of the chair as he mentions his stepsister. “I, I just wanted to know if you’re doing okay.” You shrug your shoulder, playing it down from what it really is. “Just, I see you around Hawkins but I never know if you’re putting up a facade.” You comment, and Billy swallows the yell in his throat. 

“That all you ask her?” He toys with you, dangling it in front of your face. 

A loud huff leaves your lips as you mirror his body language. “What’re you asking me, Billy?” The words leave your lips with venom. You never liked the games he played, especially when it came to your emotions. 

“Do you still care about me? Ask about if I’m seeing anyone?” His voice rises as you rub your temples. “Seriously, Y/n?” He scoffs as he stands up, pacing around the room. “After all this time, you still care about me? After all I did, I’ve sulked over losing you, only to see you all over Harrington of all people! And yet, you still have the audacity to ask about me!” He yells, unaware of you standing in front of him with glossy eyes. 

“No, Billy.” You state coldly, trying to keep yourself composed. “I was a mess when you broke my heart. Steve, Steve is my best friend. He’ll always be my best friend, even if we’re dating- which is none of your business anymore by the way. You, you lost the privilege to be apart of my life when you slept with another girl.” You spit at him, feeling those old wounds being reopened. 

“So why ask about me then?” He retorts, moving closer toward you. 

“I ask because I still care, Billy!” You yell. “I’ll always care about you deep down, no matter how much shit you do or how much you hurt me. I’ll always fucking care you piece of shit.” Your yells mix with tears as you hit his chest repeatedly, only for him to take a hold of your wrists. 

“Hey,” His voice lowers, close to whispering as you cry. “don’t.” He says, only for you to look up at him as tears stream down your cheeks. 

“You ruined me, Billy.” You whisper, forcing your wrists from his grip as you take a step back. “And yet, I still care.” You laugh to yourself as you wipe your eyes. “How that works I do not know.” 

“Y/n,” He mutters your name, reaching out as you collapse down to the ground. “I’m so sorry, for everything.” His voice is soft, the delicate tone you once heard in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep. He would’ve curled up into you, his lips against your ear as he’d whisper sweet nothings. 

“You should be.” You look up, focusing on those blue eyes you once got lost in. 

“Do, do you still love me?” His eyes search yours, desperation oozing from his lips as you shuffle away from him. 

“Billy, don’t.” You ask him quietly, shaking your head. 

But Billy can’t help it. He moves closer as your back hits the armchair. “Do you love him like you love me?” His eyes remain fixated on yours as the tears continue to glide down your cheeks as you blink, knowing the answer will break his heart.

“I, I’ll always love you, Billy.” You lift your hand, resting it against his cheek.

Naturally, Billy leans into your soft touch, missing your delicate hand against his rough skin. 

“But,” You continue, breaking Billy from his dream, bursting the bubble of what he hoped to be the end of that sentence. “you were and always will be my first love. I, I’ve moved on.” You explain quietly, watching as he pulls away from you, your hand dropping from his face. “You need to move on, Billy. You, you’ll always have a place in my heart, but I’m still healing.” Your hand rests over your chest, and Billy simply nods. 

“I, I should go.” He mutters as he stands up, looking at you briefly. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, knowing you understand that he truly means it. “I, I’ll leave you to it.” He heads toward the front door, knowing you won’t follow him. 

Deep down, you wish you could. That part of you will always wonder what would happen if you ran after him. 

Instead, you listen as the door closes quietly, leaving you in solitude as you cry into your chest over the boy who broke your heart, and whose heart you broke in return. 

Billy sits in his car, glancing down to see the time as he wipes his face. It is seven O’clock. He pulls away, knowing the exact route to Motel Six from your house, having spent many nights there with you but tonight and like every night from now on, he won’t spend it with you. 

Deep down, Billy knows he’ll willingly spend it with anyone just in hope that the hole in his chest might heal up someday. That the heart you broke will heal, and he’ll have another chance at finding someone else.

[birdsaesthetic]

Jeller babysitting Tasha’s baby for a day! (Problematic and cozy xD)

“If he cries, try to feed him or play with him—I’ve already prepared everything in his bag; here you can find his food and some of his toys. You can also find extra pajamas and diapers, though he’s all clean now and I hope he stays this way for as longer as possible.” Tasha, in a hurry, explained to Jane as she handed her her baby at the doorway—the daycare had a temporary closure today and so Tasha couldn’t think of anyone of her friends who could be trusted and did have experiences with taking care of a baby except for Jane and Kurt. 

Jane nodded in acknowledgment with a genuine smile, then Tasha continued, “He can walk by now, maybe unsteadily, but if you hold his hands on yours and encourage him, he will feel more confident.”

“Tasha! I got this. Now you gotta go.” Jane gently pushed her backward, otherwise she didn’t seem to actually go therefore she might be later for work. 

“Okay, umm, it’s almost his napping hour now, so he might want to sleep. And, last thing, if he cries so badly, like hysterically, just give me a call, okay?”

Jane, again, nodded with a smile, “Okay! don’t you worry. Be assured that he’s going to be fine with me.” Jane said, to which Tasha thanked her repeatedly, waved goodbye to her baby—almost a toddler by now—and then rushed outside the building and into the Uber, which had been waiting for her. 

The genuine smile was still on Jane’s lips, as if glued, when she closed the door behind her. Tasha, even though in a hurry, she couldn’t just easily go without making sure her little one was secure. She’d also seemed really sad to be apart from him, who became the light of her life now, like a miracle from God. 

Next Jane walked the few paces toward the living room, holding the little one in her arms. He maintained quiet, his eyes discovering his new surroundings. She put his bag aside then sat down on the couch then, holding him up so they were facing each other, she whispered to him, “Hey, Scotty!” She couldn’t resist his adorable, little face and so she grinned widely before which he blinked several times, seemingly trying to recognize her face. 

He had grown so significantly in compression to the last time she’d seen him, which had been a few months ago. Now he looked much healthier, thriving even, after gaining some weight. His eyes were dark brown and he had the tiniest of noses and Jane bent forward to give it a peck. 

After a short moment, Scott sort of began to frown, and Jane feared that since he wasn’t really familiar with her face it might cause him to reject her by crying out loud at any given moment. And just as the thought came across Jane’s mind, the little one, between her hands, actually began to fight her firm grip and the following seconds he was already crying aloud. His cries, by every passing second, became more intense, more fractious, as if he was in pain or something.

Jane tried to quieten him; she stripped off his outer sweater—which she thought was unnecessarily thick and seemed to be suffocating him—then stood up on her feet and wandered with him in her arms around the apartment, shushing him as she did so. But all that had been no use. He was persistently still crying. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay! You’re a good boy, aren’t? Huh? How about a nap? Do you wanna nap? Huh?” Jane said in whispers, and though there was no plausible way he could understand what she just said, she swore his cries got louder at the words. God, how could a tiny creature make such loud noises? It sounded like the screeching of an angry cat, only growing harsher and louder as she tried her best to subsided him!

Helpless, she held him up in the air and looked up at his balled up red face by now. His eyes were frantically searching the room for a familiar face, but when they landed on Jane’s face, his little mouth stretched wide and the cries became unbearably louder.

Jane squeezed her eyes closed at how overwhelmed she felt at this point, then, still holding him in her arms as he cried nonstop, struggled to squirm out of her arms, and waved his small fists in the air, she reached for her cell phone, which was near her sight on the couch. But just when she was scrolling through the phone in her recent contract in search of Tasha’s number, his fists, small yet surprisingly strong, caught her square in the nose and simultaneously she lost her balance and the phone fell down. 

Cursing under her breath, Jane kept a firm grip on his middle with an arm as she hunched over to grip the phone from the floor, and by now he was thrashing and wriggling like a particularly chubby eel, his cries only broke by him gasping for breaths in-between.

“Shush, Scotty, here, we’re gonna call mom now. Do you wanna call mom? Huh?” She tried to get his attention by showing him the phone as she tried yet again to search his mother’s number on the phone, which actually worked; she got his attention just about easily by doing so. Soon the harsh cries softened to snuffles. Possessively

he took the phone from her and began discovering it himself with eyes brimmed with tears and quivering lips—but most importantly he wasn’t crying now!

Catching her breath, Jane let him do so. Then she settled down on the couch with him, picked up his bag, took out his mini blanket, and tenderly laid him down over her lap to get him to sleep. He made some noises, fussed a little, but then eventually and finally he was asleep. She covered him with the blanket and, biting her lips, she took the phone between his hands as carefully as she could. 

Now she could sigh in relief. It was so quiet. His breathing was merely audible, which sounded nice, knowing he was breathing. Alive. Jane gazed down at his sleeping face, her fingertips brushing softly against his hair to fix its pattern in one side. Next her fingertips outlined his ear which felt so smooth. 

After some time, the door was opened and there was Kurt emerging through it with many bags of groceries hanging in his both hands. “Hey,” he greeted, stumbling on his way to the kitchen so he could put the groceries away. Jane watched him do so as she greeted him back with a low voice that Kurt hadn’t probably heard it. After having done that, Kurt, panting, approached her with easey footsteps. “He’s already here!” 

“Yeah,” she smiled tiredly. By now Kurt had reached her sitting on the couch, and when he bent over so he could kiss the little one, Jane recoiled back with Scott on her lap. “No, Kurt, please don’t kiss him or anything. He just barely slept after crying so badly.” Her forehead creased in a plea so he would do as told. Then, at seeing him seemingly disappointed, she rushed to say, “But I could use a kiss right now.”

Kurt cupped her face in his hands then caressed her cheeks ever so tenderly before giving her a kiss that made her hum in contentment when he pulled slowly back. A huge smile spread across her face as she maintained looking up at him. “Thank you,” she whispered, before which he settled down next to her on the couch with a deep groan that made her head turn fully in his direction. “What?” She asked with a very concerned expression on her face, but he only shifted and shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Hey! Tell me,” she insisted, and her hand made its way up to be squeezing his rigid shoulder in encouragement, after having been resting upon Scott like a feather. 

“It’s just...” he trailed off, and she awaited him to say something with big, worried eyes. A second passed, two, three....“Kurt!”

“I’m just, umm,” he looked up, his eyes angled over high, “very, very hungry right now.”

Jane’s hand, the one that had been over his shoulder reassuring him, now pushed him hard. But then, one second later, unable to keep the hint of how funny that was, both sniggered, before Jane admitted that she was actually hungry too—it was already passed their normal lunch time. Kurt made room on the couch where Jane lifted sleeping Scott up from her lap then laid him there. Then together they headed toward the kitchen and began making simple lunch. Carrot and sweet potato soup with toast aside. It was very delectable, easy to make and fulfilling. Kurt had always called it The Autumnal Soup. Because its color was as orange as the falling leaves during Autumn. 

When they were halfway through eating and  exchanging pleasantries, Scott started making slight noises, though Jane heard him and simultaneously dropped her spoon then jumped to her feet. “Let me,” But Kurt was even faster; he went straight to check on him. He was totally fine though, his chubby cheeks peeking outward as he waved his arms for the pick-up he knew was coming. “Hey Scotty! It’s uncle Kurt, do you remember me?” Kurt patted the top of his head, before he hoisted him high in his arms. 

Jane smiled as she approached them. “You know, Tasha says that he can walk by now.”

“Really! Can you show us that, Scott?” Kurt pretended to sound impressed, looking down at the little one, who made a sound like a giggle. 

“Maybe after he eats!”

With Kurt having already seated Scott safely in Bethany’s high chair with the tray, Jane served him oatmeal mixed with milk in one of Bethany’s colorful bowl shaped like a fish. They really expected him to start eating by himself once they handed him a spoon, but it wasn’t until he made a whole mess and treated both the spoon and bowl as toys that they took everything away from him and alternatively began feeding him themselves.

 He bounced up and down on the chair, opening his mouth to the fullest before every spoon got into it with his hands clapping in enthusiasm. He was a really good boy, responsive and smart. 

“Do you remember when Bee was his age?” Jane asked calmly, her gaze maintained on Scott as he chewed his food. 

“Back then in Colorado? Of course I do. She was still so little though.”

“Now she's five years old and a bonnie angel.”

“Ohhh yeah! And, if Scotty eats his food, he is going to grow up so fast just like Bethany did, right?”

“Definitely!” Jane agreed cheerfully just before she placed another spoonful of food into his mouth. His eyes opened a little wider and his eyebrows rose in surprise as he gestured for more. 

It was after lunch when they brought up his toys and some of Bethany’s and scattered them all about the living room to play with him. They also encouraged him to walk by walking beside him while holding his both hands, and then they let him do it by himself. At first he was stepping so slow, by himself, moving like his knees were just hinges, and wobbling to and fro before falling on his padded bottom then giggling and clapping with screams like nothing happened and then he’d roll to his stomach to get up and do it all over again. 

After spending the whole evening like this, they fell tired, collapsing on the couch one after another. Except for Scott. Now he was walking a little faster in circles around them on the couch, calling out for them to get up and play some more with him. But instead Kurt gripped him and playfully tossed him in the air as if he were weightless, to which he screamed in absolute joy that his eyes twinkled. And when Kurt laid him down on his chest afterward, he fussed and refused to stay still, seemingly wanting to play more and more. He even didn’t stop just here, but began being so annoying by shoving his little fist into Kurt’s mouth. “What’s so interesting in my mouth?” Kurt managed to mutter, and Jane chuckled to that. “He might want to count your teeth!”

“That is not...interesting still,” Kurt took his hand and peeled it away. Perhaps this was a game he played with his mother, but it really seemed unbearable to him. 

Jane took the little one from him. “Don’t complain, I was hit on the nose earlier today by him.” 

“Oh really!”

“That what really happened yes.” She replied, then began changing for Scott into the cutest pajamas, she then put his dummy in his mouth so he would settle down, but... He wouldn’t. He was officially a toddler now that didn’t want to be held or kept still anymore; he wanted to move and walk and play. Maybe make a mess too. 

Kurt murmured something about letting him do whatever he wanted, and so Jane did so while keeping an eye on him as he wandered about the living room. “Aww! He’s so adorable when he walks like this I almost want to laugh at him.” She commented, then added, like an afterthought, “I really love him, and love Bethany too. Yes they’re annoying and make me feel so tired at the end of the day, but I just find myself love them so much.” She chuckled. “Now, I don’t really know how it feels to have a little kid of my own, but it must feel the same.”

Kurt crawled closer to her. “Wanna know how it really feels? to have your own kid? umm—how should I put it?—it feels like your heart grows infinitely wide, and you love your own kid so much in a way you never thought you were able to love anything in the world the same way.” Jane hardly blinked and looked at him, her attention poured into him as he spoke some more, “It also feels scary, and overwhelming sometimes. But the very best part about it all is when your own kid brings out the best in you, because you will realize, very early, how much that little one needs and deserves the best version of you.” 

His choice of words was so beautiful and the way he just said that, in genuine manners, made her push her lower lip out in an impressive pout, feeling awash with feels. He then shifted closer and as if revealing a secret, he quietly said, “At least this’s how it feels for me. But if you wanna have your own experience, you know that can be arranged easily!”

After having been holding his eyes for a long moment, now she rolled her eyes away from his and smiled the way one corner of her mouth tilted up when she was being coy. 

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Switching Sides: Part 15 (HLITF)

if anyone possibly wants to get on a tag list I’d be happy to make one

👉@theshove  ​👈

👉@kamyru 👈

If you wanna catch up, Part 14 is right here! Happy reading :)

And I just want to thank everyone that’s been consistently reading this fic, I know it’s a slow burn but I think it’ll be worth it :D

Premise: Growing up in a life of crime in a Japanese mafia, Atsuko Motomori has seen enough injustice to last her a lifetime. To try and give back to the universe her family has taken so much from, she dreams of being a detective from a young age. Her twin, sharing her disgust for her father and many uncles, just wants an ordinary life away from the crime, paing and suffering. Instead, she wants to be in the spotlight with the soft notes she makes with her cello. In their escape of 2015, on their coming of age birthday, they must split ways, never to be together ever again. If one was found, they didn’t want the other dragged down with them. Atsuko, having changed her name and appearance as best she can without a scalpel, sets off to start her life of car chases and arrests.

Four years in a seemingly dead-end police station in the middle of nowhere, being passed over time after time for promotion, Atsuko finally gets a shot at her dream, having been sent to an academy for the best candidates in the country by her boss who had always kept an eye out for her. After discovering her boss may have made her bite off more than she could chew, Atsuko must become the slave of a dominating instructor!? Who so just happens to be the captain of the most famous police unit in Japan? Not to mention a total knockout! Will Atsuko finally achieve her dream? Or will her new instructor put her through the wringer?

Warnings: Language, Reference to sexual activity, Forceful nature, Abuse, Kidnapping, Torture.

~~~~~~

Early the next morning, I dressed in my loungewear to go to Juna's apartment. She had an outfit of her's waiting for me; I didn't own anything pink like the dress code she wanted. Grabbing a quick bite from the canteen and a coffee, as I have now remembered the difference between tea, I get the train to her apartment.

"Katsumi! You're here!" Juna bounced towards me, or as best she could under the weight of her almost grown baby, and stole the cake box I was balancing in one hand, holding my bag to my side with the other.

"Sorry I'm late, the metro was hectic." I sighed, kicking off my shoes as she shuffled back to the kitchen counter. There, I saw Kanto hurriedly putting up bunting. When he saw me, he directed his gaze to the space under the stairs where a set of drawers sat. Curiously, I stepped towards it, opening the top draw while Juna was distracted and found the ring I wanted. Pulling it out, I slipped it into a pocket in my bag.

"Your dress is in the bathroom if you wanna change!" Juna called over her shoulder as she pulled a box of strawberries out of the fridge, planning to chop them up.

"Sure thing!" I called back, knowing my way around the apartment since I lived here for months.

The dress in question was somewhat short and pastel pink. There was an upside-down triangle cut out of the back, the top half was tight and anything below the top of my hips was flowing. It was surprisingly comfortable, even if I felt like walking cotton candy.

"Told ya you'd like it!" Juna squealed in joy when she saw me emerge with a light blush on my face.

"It's not horrific." I pouted and went to help decorate the small balcony outside to escape her complimentary pestering.

~~~~~~

Once the arrival time for the party came around, more and more people started showing up. I didn't even think to ask my sister how many people were coming, but I sure as hell didn't think it would be this many people. There were so many, I was getting a little warm and the number of times I had to dart out of the way, getting my earring caught in my hair in the mad rush, I decided to put it up. I was bestowed with the job of answering the door so, when it rang again, I jumped up with a sigh. Because I was so used to seeing faces I didn't know, having everyone comment on how alike my twin and I looked, I was shocked when all the instructors showed up on the other side.

"In-Instructors, you made it?" I blushed when I saw them all in their casual clothes, instantly anxious when I remembered the outfit I was wearing. They all obeyed Juna's wish of them wearing pink or blue, all of varying degrees of severity, except for one. Can you guess who it was?

"Com... Come in. You can leave your shoes here." When I realised I had been staring, I jumped out the way to let them in. ‘God, Katsumi. Keep your cool!’ I internally screamed as I watched them filter in. Then, I directed them to the food when Juna finally approached us.

"Detectives, I'm so glad you could make it! I hope you enjoy yourselves. There's beer in the fridge, so have at it. There's plenty to go around!" Seemingly much more used to the instructors than I am, or she's just more sociable, Juna had a bright smile on her face. "Detective Kaga, you're not wearing blue." She frowned at the one person in the room not giving in her wishes.

"Juna, please." I begged her not to embarrass me as Kaga 'tsk'ed to himself. Then, he extended his hand to her, which held a paper bag. She took it and looked in to find a gift.

"Kaga, this is so cute! Look at it, Katsu." She squealed at the small bear with beady black eyes. It was kinda adorable and I blushed at the fact my sternly faced mentor had gifted it. The tag still attached to it said it was a nanny cam. My embarrassed and confused gaze fell to him and he sneered.

"My niece liked it." 

‘Is he... pouting?’ It was almost too strange to tell with the faint blush on his face. ‘Is he already drunk? Wait! He has a niece?’ My blush deepened as I imagine how Kaga might act with a child to know her so much to know her favourite toy.

“Did none of your friends come?” Soma interjected my thoughts from beside me, seeing as Juna had gone to Kanto in the kitchen. I almost jumped out of my skin, but only because I was scared he could read my mind.

“Oh, no. No they… They were busy.” I quickly made up a pathetic lie, not wanting to throw Naruko under the for being afraid of the instructors. “Anyway, can I get you guys any drinks? Like Juna said, we’ve got beer, soda, water?” I listed off a few options so I could just escape this cluster of men, and even more people started to swarm us at their appearance.

“How does Juna know such good looking, young men?” A very forward older woman instantly clutched Instructor Goto’s arm, either drunk or that was just her rich nature. I instantly started panicking again. 

“U-Um, Miss, they’re my bosses. Please… Please let go of him.” I was frantic as the instructor looked increasingly uncomfortable because of her flirtations. Almost everyone here was Juna’s work friends or spouses of, so they were all high standing members of society, not anyone I ever expected to mingle with.

When the woman just wouldn’t let go of him, I decided it was time to amp it up a gear. “Actually, I think your husband was talking to the composer’s daughter by the bathroom.” I gestured to an older man and a girl around my age talking up a storm on the other side of the spacious room, and the woman almost simultaneously stormed over. 

After profusely apologising to Goto for what he already had to go through after just arriving, with the instructors still around us, Shinonone expressed how shocked he was that I could diffuse the situation somewhat quickly. 

“I used to work in a club downtown. It was part of my job to get a feel for relationships in the room. O-Of course, you saw me working.” I was almost sweating with how nervous I was, remembering how rude I was to the instructor when he didn’t even know it was me at the time. Ayumu smirked at the memory of the interaction, and probably what I was wearing then too. 

Luckily, Juna called me away to help her with something before I could be teased further.

~~~~~~

Later on in the party, I felt the need to step outside and take a breather, so I headed to the balcony and was surprised to find no one there. It was spring, the weather; surprisingly warm, and the flowers Kanto had been growing for Juna were in full bloom.

With my elbows resting on the railing, I suddenly realised what Kaga being here means. "I passed." I gasped, my heart filling with pride and doing a little dance to try and expel my joy. A rush of relief flooded over me and I don't think I've been happier than that moment. Not just relieved, but happy.

"It's been a while since I've seen that dance." A man's voice spoke up behind me and I turned in curiosity. For a moment, I truly believed it was one of my captors, but my vision quickly corrected it to Noburu. My heart raced as I saw him standing in the doorway, eyes wide. I hadn't seen him in a month. I was never told of him visiting. I was a little angry, he hadn't even texted me. But, above all else, I was scared. He sent alarm bells ringing in my head as if he really was the captor that fed me. That stood by and watched as I deteriorated into a heap of weeping bruises.

"No...Noburu. What are you doing here?" I panicked, stepping back and finding the railing block me from going over the edge. In an instant he was in front of me, holding my face as tears grew in my eyes.

"I missed you so much. I went to visit but you freaked out. I was so worried." His face was so close all I could see was him as he held my cheeks, his fingers extending into my hair, which I had let down again. I struggled, the image of that man seared in my brain.

When he saw me trying to get away, he crashed his lips on mine, taking my breath and any words I wanted to say to reject him. I tried to tug on the hands that kept me in place, but he wouldn't let go. His grip was vice-like. When he parted his lips to breath, I was able to whimper out "stop".

After I said that, he went to kiss me again, but he was pulled off me by someone yanking on his collar. There, holding the bewildered Noburu, was Kaga, rage painting his face. Embarrassed and afraid, I covered my mouth to hide my tears and sobs, darting by them, careful not to fall in my short heels as my legs shook.

~~~~~~

Bored out of my mind with all the aristocratic assholes Katsumi's sister was friends with, I decided to find the servant I found so fun to tease. My gaze flew around the room to find women surrounding most of the men from the PSD, except Goto who looked as bored as I was. Then, my gaze found the glass balcony doors and the woman I'm looking for. She was talking to a man, someone who looked dishevelled and not belonging to this group of people. Then, I noticed the tremble in her lip and her wide, astonished eyes watering out of... fear? I decided to head over and check if everything was alright.

When I opened the door, the man pounced on Katsumi, holding her face as he kissed her. A feeling in my stomach lit up my jealousy and anger as I watched them, but Katsumi seemed to be responding. I couldn't really tell when his hands were covering most of her face and his body was covering the rest of her.

As I turned to leave, I heard a low, high-pitched sound.

"Stop."

I spun around in a second, storming forward and gripping the back of the man's collar before yanking him off, possibly choking him in the process. I glared at him before checking to see if Katsumi was okay. Tears were falling down her face and the lipgloss she had on was smudged. Her hair was a mess and her knees were cowering a little. When she noticed what happened, her hand flew to her face and she ran back inside.

"Dude, what the hell?" The man who assaulted her frowned and my enraged glare returned to him. That was when I noticed it was the guy Katsumi used to work with at that club. I remembered watching her bend over the bar to talk to him, noticing how high her dress rode up her thighs, just shy of flashing everyone there. I growedl, remembering how much trust she must have had to talk to him the way Ayumu said she did.

"Get out or I concave your face." I threatened, dropping his collar. He was angry at first but when he saw how likely it was for me to do it, he ran to the front door.

~~~~~~

Stepping out of the bathroom, having cleaned myself up and calmed myself down enough to stop crying, I got to work; cleaning up the bottles and cans surrounding the room- mainly to distract myself. The party was still in full swing and I didn't want to ruin my sister's special moment. I could suck it up for now. All I wanted was for Noburu to be gone.

"Hey, idiot." A quiet voice erupted from behind me as I grabbed a few glass bottles from the counter in the kitchen, which was pretty vacant. I quickly recognised it at Kaga.

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled, not caring who he was in that moment.

"I kicked him out." He announced. 

‘At least that's a relief.’ I sighed, feeling my tears return as I remembered how he had touched me. I trusted him. If he knew I had a breakdown the last time I had seen him, why would he still do that?

"Okay. I still don't want to talk about it." I complained, moving back and forth from the bin and the sink with trash and dishes to clean up later.

"Katsumi," Kaga said, but I ignored him, no matter how much him saying my name made my heart flutter. "Hey, moron." He grabbed my wrist as I dropped a few wooden skewers into the trash and spun me to see him.

"I'm not going to talk about it because I’ll cry. I'm not going to cry at my sister's baby shower." I gritted my teeth, returning his stern glare to try and make myself feel tougher.

"Why are you crying then?" He smirked and I sneered, noticing the wet drop roll down my cheek. I rushed to catch it with my unclaimed hand.

"He looks like one of them. Or he reminds me, anyway." I pouted, looking away from my instructor as he continued to hold my wrist. I'm sure he could feel my pulse race as my fear returned, mixed with the excitement of how close he was. I struggled to control my emotions when his grip tightened. I wasn’t intimidated. It was almost comforting, encouraging me to spill my guts right there in my sister's kitchen.

Suddenly, I was pulled towards him and enveloped in warmth and his scent. Slightly smokey, although whatever cologne he used did a good job of covering it up. I tried to look up from the chest I was being pushed against, but his hand settling on my head forced my gaze forward. My heart was pumping blood to my cheeks at an alarming rate and it was so loud I couldn't hear his. The pent up frustration I felt towards Noburu broke free from the weak dams I put up and my tears fell fast. My fist clenched on Kaga’s chest, angry that I had let someone I hardly knew so close. Before, I would have never gone out 'dates' with someone I enjoyed the company of- although I didn't really think of them in that way. I would have closed myself in my home, trying to keep to myself, not wanting to grow connections in case my father found me and I would have to leave everyone I had grown to love. It made it harder to justify how much safer I and those people would be if I left. I was mad at myself for letting go.

Suddenly, someone cleared their throat in the doorway of the kitchen. I darted back, making sure to turn my back to wipe my eyes before turning back to cleaning, pretending like nothing had happened. "Juna wants to cut the cake." It was Ayumu who spoke up, walking over to the fridge, between me and Kaga. Too afraid to talk in case my voice wavered, I nodded and walked out the room, heading to the table everyone was surrounding.

~~~~~~

The party pretty much drew to a close after the gender reveal. It's a girl, but no one's surprised. Juna had been going on about it for weeks. Even before they could tell what the gender was. 

"I'm gonna have a little Katsu of my own!" Juna cried with joy as she sat in front of the pile of gifts in front of her.

"At least give her a similar name. It'll be confusing if you give her the same as mine." I complained, picking up the wrapping paper she threw around the room. Thanks to my silent moment with Kaga, I was able to calm down enough to act normal for the rest of the party. All the instructors had gone home and it was just us and Kanto.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kanto asked as I walked into the kitchen with a trash bag  in hand. He was cleaning the dishes while Juna enjoyed herself to her heart's content. I nodded, hoping I wasn't giving any signals that said otherwise.

"Well... I, um... I saw Noburu earlier." His voice was low, scared that if he told me he'd set me off again. I froze mid-way picking up the trash and recovered as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, he... He kissed me." My own voice was also low, afraid that if I said it aloud it would cement the end of our friendship. Kanto spun around to look at me and I tried to stop frowning. "It's fine... Kaga got him off me before I could spiral." I bit my lip, continuing my cleaning to distract myself.

"I'm sorry." Is all I hear Kanto mumble as I escape the room.

~~~~~~

That night, I returned to the dorm but found that I didn't want to sleep yet. My mind was racing, the ring my mother left for us in my fingertips as I sat on my couch. I looked for an engraving in the inside of the band. Nothing. The clear crystal, which I'm sure was a diamond; too small for me to tell if there was anything odd going on. There were several smaller ones dotted around it.

"Could it be to do with the make? Well, it's not like I can tell." I sighed. I hardly wore jewellery anyway. I was hopeless trying to find clues. "Maybe the detectives on the case discovered something?" I got up and made my way to one of the common rooms to use a computer.

It was the dead of night, so silent I thought I might have gone deaf. Luckily, the hallway lights were always on. Pulling out a chair, I brought the file up before I even sit down. The notes say that they found wording embedded in the jewels. Nano-sized. But they couldn't make any sense of it.

"Juno charges towards Juna, aiming for Katsu."

‘Well, that's not cryptic all.’ I sighed, slightly stunned to find both my and my sister's names. I decided my best bet would be to look up the meaning behind our names. 

‘As a boy's name, Katsu means victory. Juna means woods and south. Could there be a battle in the woods or something?’ I frowned my brows, feeling wildly out of my depths and kind of silly for looking such things up on a school computer. Looking up the address of the murder, I looked at Google Maps because I knew I wouldn't be able to travel anywhere anytime soon. I dragged the picture south as far as I could, but nothing caught my eye. 

The woman murdered, my mother's friend, it seemed, was found in a lake just outside Tokyo. Surrounded by woods.

"Oh?" I gasped when I s awthat there were cabins for sale in those same woods. They had been around for years, it seemed, and a community had been made there. With a small supermarket and diners, it looked like a 20 person village.

"Could she..?" I led off, wondering if my mother could have moved there to hide. "No, she'd be too close." But the fact irked me in a way that I wanted to check. There was a link to the real estate agents website. There, I found a phone number. Without thinking much, I called it, not considering how late after office hours it was.

"Thank you for calling Juna Estate Agents. We are always happy to answer your questions, but you've caught us after office hours. We open at 8 am every day, so please don't hesitate to ca-!" I hang up before the woman's voice on the voicemail can finish.

‘I shouldn't be doing this.’ I think. I know. I shouldn't be tempting myself with the idea. It would only get my hopes up and I'd only come crashing down when I exhausted all the leads I might find. 

"She's dead." I reminded myself, pushing my father's questions to the back of my head, and turned off the computer.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday came around and I was particularly exhausted. The last two nights had been the worst I had had in a while and I almost fell asleep cutting my own hair. 

Heading to the cafeteria, notebook in hand, looking down at the floor, I was almost sleepwalking. Thankfully, I was pulled out of my dream-like state by a certain excitable morning person.

"Katsumi, you look so cute!" Naruko squealed upon seeing my now short hair. It was cut just shy of my shoulder, hugging the ear I pulled it behind. My hair was still white, too scared to dye it again in case I messed something up. Juna was always the one that did it for me and I didn't want to bother her.

"Thanks. It's easier to maintain this way." I laughed uneasily, hiding the true reason I prefered it short. My 'uncles' liked pulling on my hair. It’s hard to grab when it's like this. With a skip in her step, Naruko pulled me into the cafeteria.

"What's got you in a good mood?" I asked as we sat down, putting my heavy eyelids to the back of my mind.

"Chiba bought me a gift just because. It was so cute." She squealed, holding her cheeks as if her smile hurt. I cocked my head.

"Why’s he buying you gifts?" I asked before taking a spoonful of cereal.

"Oh shit, I didn't tell you?" She gasped and I shook my head, still chewing. "We're dating."

Instantly, I started choking at the gasp of air I took in when she told me. She asked me if I was okay and I put up a singular finger to tell her I'd just need a minute to recover.

"Si-Since when?" Taking the napkin she held out for me, I quickly wiped the milk covering the sides of my lips. I tried to ignore the fascinated stares of the male population around us.

"Hmm, a couple of months, I think? You'd have to ask him, he's the one that keeps track of it all." She waved of her unbothered-ness and continued eating as if I hadn't almost just died. "That reminds me, how was the party?"

Blushing, I tried to push the memory of Kaga holding me to the side as I reported how utterly bored I was for the rest of the event. "Her friends are all musicians, so they were mainly talking about their next concerts. Someone asked Juna if she was returning to the orchestra and she started balling." I forced a chuckle, really feeling sorry for my sister who couldn't accomplish the dream she wanted. She would have to settle to play for us and her daughter when she's old enough to play herself. I was sure Juna would push the joys of playing an instrument on her, or any future children she intended on having.

"What about the instructors?" Her wiggling eyebrows were enough to tell me she thought something kinky happened. I blushed but said I didn't notice because I was so busy. "You sure?" She dragged out her question, sliding into the seat next to mine, peering into my face. I stuffed my mouth with the rest of my cereal and jumped up, pointing to the door like I was  in a rush to get to class. "You can't hide from me, Katsumi! I'm trained for this!"

~~~~~~

At the end of the day, I was sitting in the Instructor's Staff Room as usual, but couldn’t concentrate on my work. In the silence, my mind kept trailing to that clue my mother supposedly left for me. ‘Should I go looking for her? What if I end up leading someone to her? Could she be alive?’

As I thought, I didn't notice Kaga talking. Suddenly, I feel a blow on the back of my head and I jumped. "What're you spacing out for?" He glared down at me and I blushed an apology. When I tried to go back to work, he grabbed the arm of my spinning chair and directed it towards him, pinning me down by grabbing the other side.

"Are you still hung up on that kiss?" He whispered, his face incredibly close, gaze so strong I felt like I couldn't look away. "I can give you one if it helps you forget." The smirk on his face told me he was teasing, but I couldn't help my imagination run wild. 

‘He's your instructor, Katsumi” That's not appropriate.’ I told myself off and shook my head 'no'.

"What're you spacing out for then?" He kept interrogating me, making no move to back down.

"I... I didn't get much sleep last night." I muttered, scared if I talked too loud I would stutter over every word.

"You have your pills. Take them." He demanded and I looked away, embarrassed I needed help to even sleep. I felt pathetic. When I didn't respond, Kaga stood up straight and returned to his office. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and returned to work, completely forgetting about any possibility of finding my mother.

~~~~~~

Working away at my desk, trying to distract myself from any thought about the woman sitting just outside my office, Ayumu stormed in with a stern look on his face.

"Someone keeps accessing a case file on the database." He dropped the papers on my desk after making sure the door was closed behind him. I looked down and found a solved case from over a decade ago. "I looked at the security cameras pointing at the computer used and guess who I found." He slapped another sheet down with a dishevelled and tired-looking Katsumi pictured on it. My brows furrowed at this suspicious behaviour.

"I'll deal with it." Wanting to be the first one to hear her explanation, I slid the files into my desk. Ayumu's brows flickered together before he realised what I said. I glared up at him, daring him to argue, but instead, he excused himself, walking right back out the door as fast as he came in.

~~~~~~

"I can't believe we were caught making out on security cameras!" Naruko, almost giddily, cries out after telling me an instructor had confronted both her and Chiba about inappropriate behaviour in the common rooms. Apparently, they were getting hot 'n' heavy before escaping to her room and they got caught. Although, that's not the part of the story I was fretting over.

‘I would have been caught sneaking on the computers in the middle of the night. Are there rules against that?’ I have to stop myself from pulling at my hair as I freaked out. Kaga or Ayumu would have gladly said something if I was doing anything wrong. ‘Should I come clean before they need to? No, that's a horrible idea. I'd be admitting my own guilt.’ I shook my head at my internal conversation, Naruko too self-absorbed to realise. She was walking to me the Instructor's Staff Room before lunch because I was tasked with delivering some papers to Kaga. ‘Oh god, what if this is an excuse to get me here?’

~~~~~~~~

At lunch, Katsumi knocked on the door of my office. Her head peeked in first, her short bob only leaning slightly. I found that style on her so sexy. Her white hair against her fair skin. Her neck on display for every man to see. I had to stop myself from staring her into the ground as she approached my desk with light steps, scared for some reason. That's when I remembered the case file she was caught staring at.

"Instructor Akiyame asked me-."

"What were you doing looking at these?" I cut her off, pulling the papers out and dropping them in front of me as she put the stack she had down. She froze, staring at the first page like it had just threatened her life. I watched her gulp, pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear, giving herself time to think. She couldn't look at the glare I had on my face and I couldn't say I wasn’t amused. She'd been caught and she knew it, thinking she could just magic her way out of here by not answering me? No way.

Standing up, I walked around the desk to meet her gaze. She stumbled back, but I could tell she wasn’t terrified. Not like that guy at the party. Her eyes were wide, but not with fright. It was almost curiosity that pulled her in. She gulped again as I cornered her into the desk.

Just as I was about to ask again, she announced her reasonings. "My... My mother was a witness in that case." She bit her lip, turning away and her hair fell, blocking my view of that innocent guilty expression. I was almost annoyed that I got to miss it. I knew she had more to say, the absence in the movement of her chest told me she's holding her breath, waiting for me to push her further.

"She left me a ring before she ran away. It was a piece of evidence." She continued to report as I dropped a hand either side of her on my desk. She leaned so far back she might as well have been sitting on the surface. I looked down and her thigh in the tight trousers of the academy uniform widened as she pressured backwards.

"I thought she was dead... But my... My father kept asking me where she was... So I got curious." Her voice was trembling now, so I knew she was remembering her time in that underground torture chamber. My eyes narrowed, heart-stopping when I heard her frail noises. It angered me that she had to go through that. For her whole life. And it angered me that I didn't try looking for her when she didn't show up in the hotel. I had an inkling that something was up. A body can't be incinerated like that, no matter how much of the building went up in flames. I should have followed my instincts, but I let Ishigami's facts get the better of me. Our Chief even had to talk me down. I was so angry at her for running in. It was such a stupid move. Even still, I remembered her saving me. Even if some people told me it could have been a hallucination caused by the lack of oxygen I was getting because of all the smoke I had inhaled. I never let Ishigami change my actions. So, why did I then?

It was even harder when we found the woman at the club who looked just like her. The only thing that was different was her hair colour and the way she acted when we were far from her. She was comfortable, completely in her element as she pushed that guy into the bar. She almost seemed bored by the constant string of criminal activities in that club. I almost believed it wasn't her when she stood on the foothold of the stool and bent over the bar to get close and personal with the bartender, her dress just covering her most discreet place. 

Yet, I saw the fluster on her cheeks when she turned to confront the suspicious man in the club she was meant to protect. I’ll be honest, I didn't think she had it in her to entice a man like that. On purpose. Not like the way she's intrigued me. Her unconscious movements and reactions to the way I treated her was a force that I hadn't enjoyed before. I always found myself wondering how far I could push her before she got mad and stormed away, not afraid to take the work I had given her before I even finished my demands.

I backed up when I heard her sniff. Her arm darted in front of her eyes so I couldn't see and I started to feel guilty that I was the cause of it. 

"I keep telling myself that she's dead, but I can't help thinking that she's out there. I even called this estate agent, using the clue in that ring, but it was too late at night and I backed out." She was pouring her heart out to me as she cried, still hiding her true pain from me. I sighed, wrapping my arms around her because it seemed like it helped her. She grabbed the sleeve of my arm. Not to push away, but to help support herself.

‘Moron.’ I wasn’t calling her one, she was perfectly allowed to be reacting like this. She was a broken girl who went through a traumatic event. I was blaming myself for feeling the feelings that I was. I noticed the way she bit the tip of her thumb when she was stressed, not because of an interrogation tactic, but because her frowning brows looked so cute. I noticed the way she lifted her glasses onto her head the second she could because she got so annoyed by them. I noticed the way she could just brush Ayumu's teasing off and how she had grown so used to all the men in the academy talking to her. She had calmed down since the beginning of the year, when she couldn't even sit down on a bed next to me. 

Now that I think about it, maybe that was for a different reason as well? She was always so cautious, so willing to prove herself to everyone else, I wondered how she would react if she knew how I felt? How I thought about her at night when I finally got a moment of silence away from Four Eyes or sudden changes to my schedule.

My gaze fell to the back of her neck, exposed under the hair that floated over her shoulders and I was angry with myself that that was how I reacted in the moment. It wasn’t appropriate and not okay. And, even though I say that, I couldn't help but be happy that I was the one that could hold her. I was the one that could back her up into a wall and tease her. She wouldn't tell me off, not like she did to Ayumu when he got too personal. I was the one that knew how her outdated sense in music calmed her down. I might not have known how much she was struggling, but I knew how to help her.

~~~~~~~~~

As I stood in Kaga's arms again, I couldn't help but think how safe I felt with him. His arms were so strong and his chest was hard but soft. The heat radiating off him would otherwise be unbearable but the way his breath blew on the back of my neck as I cried into him, it was tolerable. The cigarette smell mixed in with cologne didn't bite at my nose the same way my father did, he only ever smelt like the acidic stench cigars gave him. The glares he gave me were more encouraging than anything, daring me to do better. The way he held me on missions may be temporary and full of the facade we were trying to portray, but my heart raced every time. Sure, whenever a guy got into my personal space I'm embarrassed, unused to a towering figure that could be kind and protective, but with Kaga, it was different. I didn't know how, but it just was.

However, embarrassment quickly consumed me. I'm reminded of how unprofessional this was. I was meant to be a student learning to be a detective. Not a little girl who cried every time she got in her head. 

Taking a deep breath, I drew back and Kaga eased his grasp but didn't fully let me go. I looked up at him with an uneasy gaze and there was a look in his eyes that I didn't recognise. It was almost scary. He was the devil Instructor, so who's surprised? But this... This was different. It was the look he had when he pulled Noburu off me and I wanted to run away from it, too ashamed for him to see me act so deplorable.

Inching back further, he seemed to come to his senses and let me go entirely. The cool rush of loneliness almost made me miss it. Almost.

I was about to apologise for how I had been acting when the school bell rang, signally the end of our lunch break. 

"Moron, don't just stand there, get moving." Kaga’s expression had turned into a scowl again and he hit the side of my head with the papers I had previously set down. The light hud reminded me of how he hadn't done that since I returned. Had he been holding off until he knew I was completely healed? And he insulted me, something he had also been easing back into. I likeed the push of encouragement and my tears dried quicker than I would have liked. It was so childish to calm down so quickly. Almost like I was having a tantrum and someone just gave me a piece of candy. With the knowledge of that, I blushed and bowed before running out of the office, having dried my face on my sleeve.

[catharrington]

angsty sappy prompt where steve & billy arent together but they have a thing then something happens between them and steve kisses someone else in a drunken fit then goes to billy and billy gets rlly sad and soft bc theyre afraid of how much they like each other

Bullshit is ringing between Steve’s ears as he floats, hovering just barely stable in Robin’s kitchen, and gulps down another drink. His toes are curled inside of his shoes. The alcohol in his cup is swallowed down before the ice can melt. And in the living room he hears Duran Duran playing loud enough to drown out the voice inside of his head yelling he isn’t good enough.

There’s a sweep over his shoulder and down his arm. Steve turns to see Zach, a tall, tall guy he remembered from the basketball team and has been hanging off his arm all night. Two years out of highscool and out of relationships but he still knows eyes that linger when he sees them. Still knows what it’s like to long and crave, and hunger.

‘Hungry like the wolf’ starts playing just as Zach slips the empty glass from Steve’s fingers. Replacing them with his own long ones. Steve turns to face him, then flicks his eyes up to Zach’s pretty black hair. His pretty black eyes. Long, long lashes.

“Maybe you’ve had enough,” Zach tries, “lets get back to the party and dance?”

“Why can’t we dance right here?” Steve pulls on his arm, gets it straight and taught, and makes Zach stand flush to his chest. Lifts their joint hands to his shoulder while the other starts playing with the edge of Zach’s shirt right on the hip.

There’s a laugh, a slap as Zach has to use his other arm to brace on the counter quickly so they don’t fall in their swaying. “Stevie,” their noses nudge together in closeness, “I wanna drive you back home- you’re drunk!”

“I live two apartments down, Zachy, why don’t you just walk me? Save some gas?”

That gets Zach groaning. Steve pulls his arm taught to lead him out of the kitchen and past a sputtering Robin. Sloshing her drink around and calling something important after him, but Steve doesn’t listen. He gets Zach out into the hallway. It’s a miracle he doesn’t fall as the soft carpet turns to slick hardwood.

“This is my place,” Steve spots the golden letters nailed to the door and leans against it. Letting his almost dead weight crash the door in. Zach doesn’t waste a moment and follows, crowding Steve up to the door with one elbow next to his head and their hands still holding.

“Inside?” Zach asks shortly, leering down at Steve from his inches he has on him. It makes Steve feel kept, feel wanted. Hell, maybe it makes him feel good enough.

Steve reaches one hand up to trace along Zachs jaw, fingertips stabbing the underside, and leans in for a quick kiss. Zach scoots his hand closer to cradle the back of Steve’s head holding him there. They move to either side, let their lips search and move as they take and take. Steve whimpers soft and low into the kiss, because his eyes are burning wet.

He draws back first, shocked as much as Zach is, blinking back tears. He sucks in a breath just to try and clear his head. It doesn’t quite work.

“Stevie,” Zach starts. He bends in to press another kiss, but Steve turns and he only pecks the corner of gin glossy lips.

Steve can’t say he doesn’t want, because god he wants. Can’t say he isn’t hungry, because yes he craves swollen sporty arms boxing him in against the wood. But Steve doesn’t know how to say he doesn’t feel a thing. His stomach is soured with its emptiness. Maybe he drank too much on too little dinner. But he hasn’t had lunch or breakfast, for that matter. So Steve can’t seem to form the right words.

“I’m tired,” he says.

“Let me take you to bed then?” Zach is leering. His dark brows high on his forehead.

“I- ah... no, no, not tonight. My- my roommate is home. I shouldn’t.” Steve searches for the words and lets them flow as they come.

Zach, for all the hours Steve has gotten to know him that night, surprises him as he backs off. Dragging his arm heavy down the door and untangles his fingers with Steve’s. “I’ve got your number,” he says as much as he asks, “and now I know where you live,” he smiles.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Sure,” he runs his hand across Zach’s jaw again, it’s not as warm he he wishes. Doesn’t burn. “Give me a call.”

Then his black hair is disappearing down the hallway and around the corner. Steve watches it go, before he tentatively turns the knob.

Inside, their small two bedroom smells like warm spice. There’s a whisper of a rolling boil, and louder than that a humming from the kitchen. Steve steps out of his shoes and drops his coat and keys where they may before he lets the smell hook his nose and drag him.

Billy is cooking something in a huge metal pot. Stirring it with a huge spoon, one hand leafing through a book, and humming. Steve might recognize it as Black Sabbath, some soft low heavy shit. But he doesn’t say.

“Smells so good, Bill,” he does say. Heaving himself up into one of their counter stools. “You haven’t cooked in so long- like, so long.”

Billy shrugs. Doesn’t turn around. “Haven’t been hungry.” Steve bites at the bottom of his lip. Brings his thumb up to toy with it when it’s nice and swollen. Watches Billy’s arm flex as he stirs the pot. He’s so hungry.

“Making it for the house, right? I’m so drunk and I’ve got the taste of this random guy in my mouth I just have to get out,” Steve rambles when he doesn’t mean to. Overshares and digs holes, it’s his stick. He screws his eyes shut and curses himself. Billy’s humming is gone. The voices inside Steve’s head are back reminding him he isn’t worth shit.

Steve closes his eyes and misses the way Billy’s arm flexes. How he rips at the corner of his cooking book’s paper just a tad.

“Of course, pretty boy. You know you’re welcome to help yourself. I mean- you would if I just left it in the fridge anyway.” Billy rolls his shoulders back and tries to laugh off their stiffness but it’s hard. It’s so hard.

“Guilty,” Steve sings. He pretends to laugh right along side Billy.

Then there’s a shallow wooden bowl clicking down on the counter in front of Steve. A spoon dipped into the thick yellow sauce. “Curry,” Billy explains with a tick of his full lips, a pretty turn up of his kissable red smile, “not the best for a midnight snack, but it’s good for comfort food.”

Steve’s fingers pass Billy’s as he takes the spoon. They are hot, just as warm as the steam rolling off the curry. He imagines he hears a shivering exhale, but it might just be his imagination. “I hope it’s good for hangovers!” Steve yelps out interrupting his own thoughts.

He’s earned a soft nod, another smile. And Billy is looking down at his own bowl poking at the hot food. “So who’s the lucky asshole who left a bad taste in your mouth?” He asks.

Steve blows on a spoofull of food like a child, takes the bite, then talks with his mouth open, “Zach- uh, some guy from high school. He’s alright. Thinking about loosing his number down the drain though.”

“His breath that rank?” Billy’s hands stop playing with his food. His eyes are cast down and focusing on the movement of Steve’s lips.

Steve takes another bite. Doesn’t know how to say I was imaging your ugly mustache, I was hoping for someone warmer like you. Doesn’t know how to call out Billy on watching his lips like he wants to kiss him. Steve really really doesn’t know how to ask if that means more. How to admit that he wants that to mean more.

So he chews. Tries to forget Billy only pulls out his mom’s cook book from California when he gets sad. Swallows, and watches Billy’s eyes follow his Adam’s apple move with it.

“I like to keep my options open,” he settles on. “I’m not really the relationship type. Don’t want to break any hearts.”

Billy laughs and looks down at the counter. His hair soft in the glow of only a single light behind him. The rest of the apartment almost black. Steve hasn’t noticed until now that Billy’s hair has gotten long since the last time he let Steve run his fingers though it. Grip it hard. Pull his head back as he kissed him.

Steve reaches his claws out, forgetting his food and his self for just a cloudy drunken moment, and touches the tip of one ringlet curl.

“Open,” Billy repeats in a soft tone.

“Bill,” Steve tugs. He’s hungry, wants attention, those blue eyes back on him. “Can we eat on your bed? Take this to go, I mean?”

The curl gets pulled from Steve’s hands with a sharp shake of his head. Billy pushs up off the counter, leaves his bowl to get cold. “You’re drunk, Steve. Go to sleep.”

Breathing in one shaky breath, letting out a long tendril of smoke; Steve steadies his hand from shivering so bad the spoon falls from it. Billy’s door closes on the far end of their two bed room apartment. He’s back in silence. Back to not being good enough.