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hello-nichya-here · 1 year ago

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Why is Rhaenyra so hypocritical and dramatic about everything? Her first scene is already her trying to act all rebelious by flying around in a dragon and saying nonsense stuff about everyone caring for her unborn sibling but not her pregnant mom. How does that even work?

She is rude as fuck Rhaenys for no reason, interrupts a meeting just to show off, flies to see Daemon without permission just because he took a dragon egg and then dares him to kill her out of nowhere just to cause even more of a scene.

She throws a fit about needing to be married then demands her uncle elope with her on her wedding to someone else and is still complaining years later that he didn't, hates Alicent for secretly flirting with her dad yet had an affair with Daemon, Criston Cole, and Harry Strong, and is constantly demanding her bastards to inherit titles meant for true Velaryons instead of having kids with her actual husband or staying childless like said she wanted to be - and she never considered letting Laena's daughters inherit anything instead of their "cousins" despite still wanting to be Visery's heir.

I know she was seriously screwed over by the Greens, but it just became impossible to have any sympathy left for such an awful, selfish, stupid character. I don't understand how you or anyone could like her.

Congratulations, anon, you just got a very high ranking on my list of "Asks clearly done in bad faith." Way to completely misrepresent a character and entire plot points just 'cause you think "I find this character annoying/I think their rivals more interesting" isn't enough of a justification to root for the Greens. I'm team Black all the way, and even I absolutely adore these motherfuckers, it's fine. You don't need to bullshit an "intelectual" argument to say you just don't vibe with a character.

Her first scene shows her riding a dragon

Yes. She's a Targaryen. That's kind of their thing. Plus, HBO has to show off their new CGI effects and designs for dragons. As for it showing she has a rebellious side by just flying off whenever she pleases, the same could be said about Arya and Brienne taking interest in typically "male" activities very early into Game Of Thrones. Stablishing a character's trait is a feature of every story, not a bug that needs to be fixed.

She claims her pregnant mother is not being taken care of, even though her unborn sibling is - how does that work?

The very first episode already makes it VERY clear how that works. Aemma had a ton of miscarriages/stillbirths. She literally tells her husband that this is her last pregnancy because SHE HAS MOURNED ALL THE DEAD CHILDREN SHE CAN.

Aemma's discomfort at being heavily pregnant is not just about the regular toll it'd take on the body of any woman. It's about the painful, traumatic experience of going through that typical discomfort, feeling it turn into pure agony as something goes very wrong, and then realizing she's lost yet another child.

And let's not forget, after she of course experiences complications during childbirth - this time with it being impossible to deliver the baby - her husband betrays her in the worst way possible by gently holding her hand and simply saying "They're going to get the baby out now" in a comforting way despite knowing fully well that he just gave the maester and midwifes permission to cut her open and gut her like a fish to get the kid out, and we see her begging them to not to do this to her. After the death of Aemma AND her child, all everyone can think about is "The king needs a wife, time to throw my daughter at him"

The Viserys needed a son. That was more important than Aemma's physical and mental health. More important than her LIFE. Rhaenyra pointing that out is NOT nonsense, it's literally her being the only one to recognize just how unfair and downright cruel this is.

She is rude to Rhaenys for no reason

Congratulations, you finally made a good point! That was indeed a shitty thing for Rhaenyra to do, and Rhaenys was fully right to point out that she isn't as superior as she thinks she is - which leads us to...

Interrupts a meeting to show off

Rhaenys correctly pointed out to Rhaenyra that, even though Viserys had everyone swear they'd accept her as their queen once he passed away, he was not doing anything to make anyone respect her - in fact, he was expecting her to just be quiet and serve men drinks during a meeting, and somehow that was supposed to make them take her seriously as his heir instead of ridiculing her.

Considering that, is it really any surprise that Rhaenyra tries to go against her father to remind the men HE made swear loyalty to her that she WILL be queen, that she can and will take action? Especially since her dad's main flaw both as a king and as a person is his complete inability to take charge of anything - to the point that a war was is about to start without his permission because he's doing fuck all to address the issue that spark that conflict in the first place.

Her conflict with Daemon at Dragonstone

Daemon, a Targaryen prince with a dragon of his own, stole a dragon egg. He deliberately stole the one that was meant for Baelor, Viserys's dead son, the "heir for a day". The one that was chosen for him by Rhaenyra, the king's new heir - aka the new threat to Daemon. He even goes as far as pretending he took a second wife (who everyone knows was a whore), once again without the king's permission since Targaryens are no longer having multiple wives by that point, and lying about her being pregnant. All of this is taking place in Dragonstone - a place that belongs to Rhaenyra.

This isn't a petty fight. This is Daemon trying to spite his family, and all of Westeros, because he's bitter he won't be king. He is openly defying Viserys's authority and chosen heir, basically daring him and anyone else who has a problem with it to go face him.

And Rhaenyra does. Because she's not a doormat like Viserys. She defuses a VERY tense situation that could have easily led to a massacre by reminding Daemon that he ain't the only one who has a dragon. She calls his bluff by daring him to go ahead and get rid of her so he can be king, and thus Daemon, noticing this won't be as easy he expected AND gaining more respect for his niece, gives her the egg back.

Daemon started shit because he wanted attention, Rhaenyra put him in his place. HOW does that cast a bad light on her?

Rhaenyra not wanting to be married/have kids

In her own words "My mother was made to produce heirs until it killed her. I don't want the same fate." A pretty understandble stance if you ask me - and Rhaenyra takes it so seriously, she even worries about Alicent's well-being and comfort when Viserys drags her to a hunting trip to celebrate Aegon's birthday, even though she's heavily pregnant and the long hours in the carriage are obviously quite a pain for her. I remind you, this is while Rhaenyra is still VERY mad at Alicent. That's how serious of an issue this was for her.

"Oh but she still had pre-marital sex anyway." Yes, but let's look at the context for it because it absolutely matters.

First she nearly lost her virginity to Daemon in a brothel - because he explicitly mentioned that this would be solely for pleasure, OUTSIDE of marriage and all of it's obligations - aka he could not possibly demand her to have his bastard if she were to end up pregnant as that would be a scandal, and Viserys himself gives her moon-tea after he hears of it to make sure it will stay a secret and have no consequences.

She then goes all the way with Criston Cole. A member of the kings guard. A man that not only holds zero political power (and in fact answers to HER), but also vowed to never have a wife or father any children. Once again, offering her zero risk of ending up in the same situation as Aemma.

Viserys finds out she's not a virgin anymore (though he doesn't know the actual man she slept with) and thus FORCES her to marry Laenor - and Rhaenyra once again tries to assure her own agency won't be disregarded, by making a deal with her (gay) future husband: they'll do their duty, then be with the actual people they want to be. Once again, there's a very clear separation between marriage/duty and love/sex/freedom.

On her demanding Daemon elope with her and make her his wife

Let's not forget the context here: Daemon showed up at her wedding, obviously against Viserys's wishes, and tries to talk Rhaenyra out of marrying Laenor - something which obviously would mean a lot of trouble for her. So, she turns the tables on him. If he's going to be selfish and demand her to go against the king, then he better give her damn good reason to do so. A one-night stand or even a proper affair like what she had with Criston won't be enough. He has to prove he is not all bark, no bite. He has to fight the guards around them, take her to Dragonstone and marry her.

As for her still being upset that he didn't do it, even after all these years, and wanting to be his wife, we can't forget that:

1 - Her agreement with Laenor went horribly wrong as he is not doing his part - be it on giving her kids or keeping his private life PRIVATE.

2 - Harwin, her lover of many years, is dead, and their children are now targets since the Greens are no longer willing to pretend they're not bastards.

3 - She NEEDS a powerful ally on her side and Daemon, for all his flaws, proved he is surely more competent than the ones she had at that time.

4 - Daemon marrying her would officially remove him for the list of potential heirs of Viserys.

5 - They had a genuine connection that they were forced to ignore, and Daemon quite clearly was just as into her even after all these years.

It makes perfect sense for her to not only want to be with him now, but to think that her life would have been better if they had gotten together years ago.

Her anger at Alicent

Unlike what you implied, Rhaenyra's problem with Alicent becoming Viserys's second wife is not because of pre-marital sex (which they didn't have) or because she was expecting Viserys to just never re-marry (she full on told him she understood that it was his duty).

Her problem was that they lied to her. Viserys made it sound like he was only gonna marry a new woman out of duty, then rejects a perfect politcal match to be with his daughter's best friend. The best friend that pretended nothing was going between them. Their wedding is announced just SIX MONTHS after Aemma's death.

"Oh, but Alicent only did it because her father basically forced her to! And then Viserys also demanded her silence, and she couldn't say not to the king!" And how would Rhaenyra know? Alicent never explained it to her, not even after they became friends again - because, yeah, they made up. Then fought again. Then made up again. And repeated the cicle about 500 times through the years.

And before you go "Oh, Rhaenyra should have been aware of the power imbalance!" let me remind you that these characters don't live in our modern world, with our modern understanding of these things, AND that the Game Of Thrones is all about people stabbing each other in the back to gain power. If you want to hold that against Rhaenyra, you also have to hold Alicent accountable for shaming her friend who was seduced by a much older man that also happened to be her clearly insane uncle (and even though she had political power over Criston, let's not forget that he was ALSO an adult man that was already very flirty with 15-year-old Rhaenyra and started sleeping with her while she was still 17, a minor by our standards).

"Oh, but Rhaenyra lied to Alicent and got her father fired! She even swore on her dead mother!"

1 - Otto was very clearly trying to make his grandson the heir instead of Rhaenyra and had her followed to get dirt on her. Can't dig someone's grave then get mad that they are very willing to save themselves through any means necessary, or at least drag you down with them.

2 - Otto ruined Alicent's life. I don't care that he is her father, that she loves him, and that he genuinely loves her in his own way. That man is an utter bastard and he had it coming.

3 - That is not even on the top 50 most fucked up things that happened in House of The Dragon. Save your outrage at Rhaenyra for when she inevitably commits some war crimes.

On Rhaenyra's bastards

Like I said, Laenor did not keep his end of their agreement. They even explicitly say that they TRIED for a while, but it just didn't work - meaning either they had sex a few times and Laenor was too uncomfortable to keep trying even after these first attempts failed to get Rhaenyra pregnant, or that he hated it SO MUCH that they never really had sex. Either way, is very clear: Rhaenyra would NEVER be able to have kids with this man.

But did she need to have kids with Harwin? Yes, because if she has no heirs, be these heirs her legitimate children or her bastards, then nobody will bother to crown her just to then have one of Aegon's children reign after her. If she has no kids, she's never becoming queen at all.

But bastards are, to put it mildly, looked down on by everyone - and while their fathers are seen as just men who had a moment (or several) or weakness, their mothers are seen as no different than the cheapest of whores. OBVIOUSLY that would also be used not just to make sure Rhaenyra would never bee queen, but also for people to humiliate and mistreat her sons.

That is why she had to constantly demand them to inherit anything Velaryon, even if it meant ignoring Laena's daughters or Corlys's brother. If she lets any Velaryon inherit something that should have been meant for Laenor's sons, people will have even more reason to wonder if he ever really had any sons in the first place.

Why she didn't support other women more often

Rhaenyra was not perfect (and thank God for that, because perfection is boring). She either didn't care enough about other women wanting to have the same rights as men, or she just knew that she would already need a miracle to truly become queen and that if she tried changing the rules even more, then she'd be killed as soon as her dad kicked the bucket.

Both options would make her rather selfish, but I tend to lean towards thinking the second one is the truth. We only saw her talk down to another woman once - with Rhaenys, who put her on her damn place - and got A TON of scenes of her showing at least some compassion for Alicent, even DECADES after their friendship was officially ruined.

Conclusion

Like/dislike any character as much as you want. Just don't lie about what actually happens in the story. And more importantly, don't send people asks with the intention of pissing them off by talking shit about a character you know they like. That's childish and pathetic.

#hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #team black #queen rhaenyra #rhaenyra defense squad

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queenburd · 1 year ago

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so in the hypothetical fic concept,,,, ok actually have a. small handful of questions maybe. (........alsoalso this is. always true but just gonna reiterate Preemptively,,,, "don't know" is alwaysalways a fair answer. this is more of a. blatantly fishing by tossing prompt-adjacent-things in your general direction sort of thing haha)

- is the amount of time the narrator has experienced getting other stanleys out the same amount of time his stanley has experienced in the outside??

- how do they each. react,, upon landing & realizing they've been split up??

- does the narrator ever have a hard time convincing a stanley to get to the escape pod with him??

- since both the narrator And stanley have to be present for it to work,, one can infer if a stanley was too suspicious or elsewise he would be. trapped. until that stanley could be convinced.

- has he ever been discovered by other narrators??

- ........what happens,, to the other narrators when their corresponding stanley is evacuated?? (are they left there indefinitely on their own, does their iteration of the parable simply collapse, a secret third thing,,)

points at you. you get me.

first) yes! it's approximately the same amount of time, though the narrator has no way to measure and doesnt know until, well. he gets out. that it's been that long. he just knows it's been a long time, and it's honestly something that frightens him. he is trying very VERY hard to make peace with the idea he's never going to see Stan again, because.... if they never see each other again, it doesn't have to hurt him if Stan's feelings for him change. If Stan decides he wants to be with somebody else.

(with this said, this fic HAS to take place in the future. I put myself in this hole. The TSPUD only came out last year but Stan's been out for four years and change??? dont. dont look too hard at that. okay? dont look at that. that ones on me.)

second) they uh. they both have some BAD reactions to learning the other is not with them. it might be "harder" on Stan if only because he's been thrust into a new world at the same time, on his own.

Stan starts living a life, afraid that his friend is gone, or maybe out in the world somewhere alone, or dead. he had no idea how to process it because he didnt KNOW what happened. but he just… had to try to move on. live as a person. he didnt have a choice.

for the narrator, he has to try to make sense of why he's in a Parable that... isn't HIS. when he finds the Stanley there that isnt his it hurts like a motherfucker, but he has other issues to deal with (like the fact this one is very clearly a victim of physical abuse) so he boxes that shit up, as he usually does, to focus on the problem at hand.

but after he gets into a system, it's not as easy to distract himself. sometimes he wakes up in the escape pod by himself after just ushering a new Stanley out, and he just stays there for a little bit to have a good cry.

3) ABSOLUTELY HE HAS A HARD TIME WITH SOME STANLEYS. These fuckers are STUBBORN. He's really used to it, and it can be frustrating, but he always manages somehow--mostly, he surprises them all.

even the angrier Stanleys that are less likely to trust him cant help being caught off guard by his concern, and his laughing at their sharp biting wit, or just how open he is with his expressions. that, plus the fact their narrators are still clearly around in opposition, means its not a "trick".

hes still himself, you know? but all that bitchiness and irritability is aimed at these alternate versions of himself instead of Stanley. he is so SICK of his own bullshit. GET OVER YOURSELF, MY GOD, no WONDER he hated my guts. you petulant CHILD.

and yeah that's really weird for the Stanleys. They kind of love it. it's hilarious.

3.5) since it's tangential with the above. yeah. he's had some serious bonding periods with some stanleys. that's why in the end he always manages to convince them. because they have nothing BUT time.

4) probably yes. there have been a few where he was genuinely stealthy enough to not get caught (though those narrators DEFINITELY noticed SOMETHING was awry, they tended to focus on where Stanley was in the Parable over things happening elsewhere in the map) and he always makes an effort in the beginning, mostly to get a feel for the situation. he's done this enough times to have an idea of where to start. BUT, he has a temper, and for the narrators that are actively more hostile, he has no qualms about showing his face and, quite frankly, kicking their arses.

because this may not be his SPECIFIC parable, but it's still the Parable, and he's still a Narrator. he can control this rat maze just as well as they can. possibly even better, since he's let Stan roam through every single door and played with every single hall. Hes not afraid of breaking script. most of them dont know how to react to it.

5) he doesn't know what happens to them. he assumes they get left on their own. he doesn't care. as far as he's concerned, they dont deserve to have a protagonist at all, and they can rot by themselves for eternity.

I dont know what happens to them either. Ive thought about it but cant come to any conclusions. though Ive wondered if theres a way for these fellows to find each other. Im sure theyve got a bit of a grudge...

#tsp #the sparrow parable #repeat and write this story #Parable Actors

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asdfghjklartblog · 1 year ago

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Iron Buttercups Part 1

A kidsopp story :)))

So I finished the first part of it! Yayyy!! Had to do a lot of revising and shit but I think this is pretty great! Hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: So in this story it's kinda like a meet cute, but the person who's in the meet cute looks like and acts like he hates your guts but he actually wants to be in them if you catch my drift. Anyways no smut, mostly cause I don't know how to write it. And I'm not sure how I'd do at writing it. Also love being mean to Zoro, he's so squinchy!!! The interactions between Sanji and Usopp can be read as whatever, I'm thinking more like they're best friends in this story but also who cares! Feel free to think it's a bit Sanji x Usopp too! Also a bit of Frobin in here, love that shit. Also maybe like a really small hint of Lawlu?

The idea of having four crews of the worst generation on one island was a terrible idea, however it couldn't be avoided. Sanji needed to restock on various foodstuffs, Franky also needed to dock to work on some things and see whether everything was in "tip top shape" as Franky said, and even Usopp had things he needed to do on the island. But the thought of seeing Law's crew sounded like a pain in the butt, while running into Hawkin's or Kid's crews sounded more like a fight waiting to happen.

"Usopp I don't like the sound of this either but the next island is about a week away, and unless you and Luffy can consistently catch a ton of fish. Luffy might start thinking about eating one of us."

"I would not!"

"Yes you would Luffy."

"Hihi! Yeah I would!"

"B-But, Nami... Please!!! I'd be fine if it was just Law's crew but-"

"Torao is here?!"

Nami turns to glare at Usopp. Shit. "That settles it! We're docking at the island then! That's alright, right Nami?"

If looks could kill Usopp would probably be dead. Nami gritted out in a sickly sweet tone " Yeah, sure Luffy! I'd love just love to dock at the same exact island that three other dangerous crews are on!"

Luffy stared at Nami with a blank face, not quite getting that she was being sarcastic.

"..... Great?" Said Luffy with a tone that implied he was not sure whether or not to answer, and if said answer was correct.

She sighs, she's been trying to help Luffy understand more social cues as well as when people are being nice versus when people are being rude. Although from the looks of it, the little lessons Nami’s been giving him hasn’t been working.

Nami turns to Usopp to Usopp and smacks the back of his head, then points at him and says. " This is your fault."

And truth be told, yeah it was his fault that Luffy heard about Law being on the island but it wasn’t his fault that they ran out of food. For the most part. Okay maybe he and Luffy one too many midnight snacks. Fine, more like ten too many but who's counting.

Usopp heard a chuckle coming from Robin lying in the lawn chair and reading.

"Well perhaps we'll run into a bit of fun? I heard that long ago this island used to take young prisoners of war to sacrifice to their god." Franky, who was listening in from earlier said. "Oh yeah, you told me about that! You think there might be a cult still following those old practices? You think they might even take my heart? Although I don’t exactly have a heart but I do have-“

Which leads to Franky to start rambling about the specifics of his heart/processor thing. While Robin looks to him with admiration and love. She interrupts him and counters with "You're not exactly a young prisoner of war, Flam. On top of that I do not like sharing what's mine."

Franky sputters in a way that describes the conflicting feelings that Robin's response evoked in him while Robin chuckles at his confusion.

"God they're so fucking sappy, it’s so cute and gross at the same time."

"You're so right Nams, look at them all happy and shit. Absolutely disgusting."

"Girl, don't agree with me. I hate you right now, now we literally have to dock on this shitty island because you couldn't keep your voice down."

"You KNOW he has selective hearing, he would've heard anyways!"

Zoro interjected with "You know he wouldn't have heard anything if you both had shUT THE FUCK UP! NOW-"

"GO BACK TO SLEEP MOSS HEAD!"

"YOU SHOULD GO WANDERING OFF INTO THE DAMN OCEAN AND DROWN ASSHOLE!"

As Zoro tried to reply he was immediately kicked out of the argument as he got hit by both Nami and Usopp.

"Anyways, both of you are on dish duty for the rest of the week."

"You can't do that!"

"I DIDNT DO SHIT!!" Nami goes to hit Zoro and Usopp on their heads.

"Too bad, now get ready to leave the ship. You're also both on grocery duty."

The two men groaned as Nami walked away in a huff. Zoro looked at Usopp in the eye and sent him a little glare.

"Don't look at me like that. Look I'll buy you some good sake alright?"

"... I want two bottles," Usopp sighs, signalling that the deal has been made. As he walks away Zoro proceeds to shout. "And it better be good or I'm gonna-!"

"Ughhhh. Yeah, yeah."

With a little smirk Zoro goes back to relaxing. Or maybe he was going to have a quick nap before going. Either way he was resting.

So Usopp decides to walk down to his workshop to double check his inventory and make a checklist of everything he needs to buy. After about an hour or two, right as he was about to go to Franky and ask if he also needed any parts, he hears a knock on his door. Usopp opens it to find Sanji.

Sanji leans against the doorway while lighting a cigarette and asks. "Dish duty and grocery duty huh?"

Usopp replies with a “Man, shut the hell up."as he rolls his eyes.

Which earned a chuckle from Sanji. "I'm gonna go wake the Marimo up now so you better hurry up."

"Wait, I gotta ask Franky a couple of things before I go."

Franky then pops his head from his workshop and proceeds to ask, "What do ya need to ask me?"

Usopp was surprised to see him there, not that it was unusual to see the in his own work room. Usopp just thought he was still with Robin or something. Probably just didn't hear Franky coming down because he was so focused on his supply check.

"Since I'm going shopping I wanted to know if ya wanted me to get you any parts before they sell out of what we need or something."

"Aw, thanks little bro! I need like about 20 of the 35-67-20 seals and 10 of those 45-80-12 seals and about 100 or maybe even 200 nuts and screws of all the standard sizes and also three bouquets of Tulips, Rhododendrons, Zinnias, Plantain lilies and Day Lilies."

"Three?"

"Yeah, I looked for some flowers that were deer and people safe. So I could give one bouquet to Robin, another for Chopper and the last for Nami to brighten their rooms a little!"

"Aw that's sweet! But don't you think Chopper might eat those? Considering that those flowers are safe for deer? Although he isn't technically a deer but a reindeer."

Franky stood there in silence along with Usopp and Sanji. All of them ponder the question that was just asked. Usopp thinks this might be the longest time Franky has ever stayed quiet. He then starts to walk away as he said to Usopp "So the seals, nuts and screws! Get 'em for me will ya? Thanks little bro!" And proceeded to go to the deck, probably to question Chopper whether he likes to eat flowers or not. Sanji then mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that Sanji?"

"Nothing, just wondering what I should make for dinner, anyways now that that's over with come on."

They walked out over to the deck to find Zoro not there. Or in any of his usual sleeping spots.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!"

"God fucking dammit. He probably thought we left him or some shit."

"That damned moss head, it's like he literally has moss in his head instead of an actual human brain. I'd say I can't believe this, but this is pretty on par for that dumbass."

"Should we split up and look for him before we go shopping?"

"We can't, we need to buy the groceries before the other crews clear the market of everything. If I can't get everything I need, that bitch is gonna pay!"

"Okay so what's the plan? Just buy the groceries?"

"Usopp look, I'm gonna need you to buy everything on this list I made for you," Sanji gives him a list and rips another list in half and gives Usopp one half. "I'll handle half of the Marimo's list and you get that half, now I can count on you to buy all of them?"

Usopp smirked and replied confidently, "Nami ain't the only that can get a good bargain!"

"Hell yeah, Make me proud!

Usopp was arguing with a lady about the rice that Sanji needed him to buy. He heard from another vendor that he gets all his rice from here because her rice was high quality and delicious. The woman was tough, she looked pretty with her hair tied up and wrapped up in a bandana. However her stand looked a bit old and out of order. It could use some renovation to make sure that it would still draw in customers as well as keep to keep the stand itself safe and stable.

"My final offer! 10,000 berries for 40 kilograms of your finest rice!"

"Hah! The lowest I'll go is 16,000 for 30 kilos."

"What if I said please?"

"Hmm, 15,500 for 30."

"And if I said I'd help you repair your food stand?"

"Now you're talking! 12,500 for 30!"

"Deal! Pleasure doing business ma'am!"

"Like wise."

As Usopp shook her hand he felt proud of himself, he could understand Nami in a way. Getting a bargain did feel pretty good. But then he realised his mistake. He couldn't carry all this rice. Well technically he could, but that would take around two or three trips. Not only did that sound exhausting but it was starting to get dark and he still hasn't bought what Franky needs yet. He starts to think hard on what to do until he hears a loud yell from across the street.

He looks over and, oh. Oh no.

"Hey! You're the sniper for the Strawhats aren't ya?"

This was one of the last people he wanted to see, one of exact reasons he did not want to stop at this damn island.

This was NOT a good day for Usopp.

Eustass Kidd. A man said to not have any qualms with killing and pillaging, thought to even enjoy it with a bloody smile on his face. Said to enjoy his feasts filled with booze, food and bodies dead and alive. A man that Usopp, would obviously be scared of.

And although that may be true, it wasn't like a brave warrior of the sea to be afraid of some rival crew. No. A brave warrior would stand his ground, whether he was outnumbered or weaker than his opponent. So a brave warrior he will be. Until Kidd leaves at least.

"Where's that shitty little kid anyways?"

Usopp was still mentally preparing to talk to him! And he couldn't act like his usual self right now! He had to adopt someone else's personality or something!

"Hey! You ignoring me or something you brat?"

As of right now, he could only think of a response similar to whatever Usopp thinks Luffy would say. Which was probably the worst response he could use. But it was better than nothing, so before Kidd became even more irritated he used the "Luffy" response.

"W-Who're you calling a brat! I'm only four years younger than you!"

Shit. As soon as Usopp finished his sentence, there was some kind of glint in Kidd's eye. Which Usopp presumed it to be murderous. "Of all the people to copy, did I really have to pick Luffy?" He thought as Kidd started to walk over towards a overthinking Usopp.

"Oh really? So you're the same age as that stupid captain of yours?"

Fuck, screw this. He's just gonna act like himself. He backs away from Kidd trying to get more space between them, which was useless because Kidd followed his each step.

"If you hurt me, uh. Luffy will come after you!"

He's getting closer he's almost right in front Usopp.

"Who cares about your captain? He ain't here now. What I wanna know is, what you’re gonna do."

What?

He leans over and whispers into Usopp's ear, "What would you do to me, huh?"

He then pulled away and smirked at Usopp. Taking in his flushed face.

"So you want help?"

"W-Whuh? Um. I-"

Kidd sighed and said, "THE BAGS? Do you need help with the bags? You know, the shit you have in your hands?"

"Oh! Uh, no? I mean. No I-, I mean yes I. Haha sorry. Just. Gimme a moment."

Holy fuck? What the fuck was that? What the FUCK was that? That was so fucking hot and terrifying holy shit what.

"Could you, h-help me with the rice? That'd be really helpful and um."

Kidd looks at Usopp, and asks with an aggravated tone, "What?"

"My name is Usopp. Uh, yeah."

Kidd raised an eyebrow and looked him dead straight in the eye. He laughed, and replied with a smile "I know."

This man is going to be the death of him. He didn't think he’d die like this but it doesn’t really matter what kind of death he has does it?

"So where do you need to go?"

"Well I need to go to the parts shop and maybe the junkyard if we have time."

"Sick. So which way?"

"Well a vendor I talked to before said that the parts shop should be further down a couple of streets and that I'd need to take a right turn at the red bar then proceed down that street and then we'd find it."

"Well then hurry up, I ain't got all day you know."

The walk was quiet, and quickly turning into an anxiety churning venture. He didn't understand what was happening. Well, okay. Usopp understood that Kidd just, appeared out of seemingly nowhere and practically invited himself in on this little errand run the moment they met. It's just that, it was like the whole situation just, didn't click in his head for some reason? That must have been a joke or something right? Maybe this was a dream? Or he's actually on the ship! Unconscious from Nami's punch! Maybe-

“God you’re so fucking slow! Do you need me to carry you too?”

“Wh- No! I can walk by myself! I was just thinking a little too hard a-and besides, these bags are a bit heavy so of course I’d be a bit slow. If I didn’t have these bags I bet I’d have gotten to the junkyard already!”

Usopp thought to himself. “What am I saying!? He’s gonna break my body into pieces if I keep going with whatever the hell I’m talking about!”

However even as Usopp thought that, he couldn’t stop talking. “And on top of that, I’m only walking slow like this, cause so you can keep track of me!”

And right as Usopp thinks “STOP THAT! IF YOU KEEP GOING HE MIGHT-“

“You wanna put that to the test, runt?”

Fucking. Goddamit. Maybe, he could get out of this, Usopp thought. He can get out of this right? He’s Usopp! He can get out of anything!

“I’m not sure if you’d want that wouldn’t wanna show you up in front of-“ While Usopp tried to talk his way out Kidd had already decided that they were racing.

“Five.”

“Huh?”

“Four.”

“Wait, Kidd you don’t want to-“

“Three.”

“You really don’t want to do thi-“

“Two.”

“Kidd, I. I’m not ready! I gotta do all this stuff to-“

“One.”

In the last second Usopp resigned to his fate, as he thought well, he might as well die trying. So right as Kidd was about to say zero, Usopp instead yelled.

“ZERO!” And started booking it.

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traumatsu · 2 years ago

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Local autistic Traumatsu back again with another dissertation pleading the case of Matsuno Karamatsu for Most Pathetic Little Guy!

Now I know, Doofenschmirtz is a very formidable opponent here! However, I think Karamatsu deserves a fighting chance. My credentials are thus: My first and biggest dissertation for the opening round (part 1, part 2), and my second followup dissertation for round 2. Also I am clearly a Karamatsu Boy.

I'll continue where my last dissertation left off, moving on to the second segment of episode 4 of the anime under the cut.

Episode 4: Let's Become Independent/This is Totoko, Cont.

There isn't much in this one because it's about Totoko being an idol, HOWEVER this man was invited to the house of the girl he likes and he decides to show up looking like this:

He also ended up buying hundreds of thousands of yen of Totoko's idol merch despite being a broke-ass NEET eventhough she's never going to give him the time of day, but I digress.

Episode 5: The Karamatsu Incident/ESP Kitty

See my 2-part dissertation that goes over The Karamatsu Incident and ESP Kitty in detail here: part 1, part 2

Episode 6: It's a Birthday Party, Dajo

Ichimatsu shoots him with a bazooka in the first segment over a flag pun:

Then he gets a giant flag shoved up his ass. I have a sneaking suspicion the spiked one was intended for him:

Episode 7: Todomatsu and the 5 Demons/Totoko's Dream

It's made clear that Todomatsu is embarrassed by Karamatsu (and his other brothers):

Then later in the Sutabaa, Karamatsu is the only one to order a normal drink instead of making a joke ridiculous demand and Todomatsu takes him out with a menu for it???

He eventually comes back to life when Todomatsu sprays everyone with pesticide and the stench revives him:

Episode 8: The Calming Osomatsu

He is literally dead for the entire segment, filling the spot as a murder victim.

Osomatsu desecrates his corpse and fucks up the entire investigation, and he eventually ends up at the bottom of a pile of bodies:

In the second segment, Totoko punches him in the gut for something Iyami said, NOT him, because the writers seem to think it's funny to beat him up for no reason?

Then later, as they're trying to come up with ways to make Totoko a more popular idol (she's got a weird fish theme), Karamatsu is the only one to speak sense and everyone gets pissed at him for it:

Then in a bonus after-credits scene he falls of the roof for no apparent reason:

Episode 9: Chibita and Oden/Jyuushimatsu Falls in Love

Karamatsu gets to talking to Chibita about what he wants to do for a living and Chibita completely misunderstands and drags him into training him to run an oden cart, resulting in Chibita shaving him and then scaring the absolute piss out of him over Chibta's passion for oden:

As for the second segment, I really need to make a compliation of all the times Ichimatsu hates on Karamatsu.

Also, a return of the glitter pants:

He combs his hair to make sure he looks good when spying on Jyuushimatsu's date with a girl as if it's his date:

Episode 10: Iyami and Chibita's Rental Girlfriend

I already mentioned the cold open of this episode once before with Osomatsu and Karamatsu at the fishing hole, but I need to add that just recently I noticed he's STILL fishing with a love letter:

I'm running out of steam and image space here but goddammit if y'all vote Karamatsu you can bet I'll rip him to shreds over The Ichimatsu Incident in the next round or something because goign through every episode like this is EXHAUSTING.

For now, I'll leave you with this one after-credits short where Karamatsu speaking about the second half of the season requests he be treated even just a little bit better, and he gets dropped into a pit of fire for it:

#osomatsu san #matsuno karamatsu #karamatsu matsuno #ososan #おそ松さん #most pathetic little guy comp #rantmatsu #writematsu

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wittywallflower · 2 years ago

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steddyhands where Stede wants to dress Izzy up in fancy clothing because Edward got to and he doesnt want Izzy to think he is just second place to Ed or less deserving somehow. Stede is so focused on being fair that he bulldozes right over the fact that Izzy, unlike Ed, Does Not want to put on layers of fancy fussy clothing. But he does it anyway because its what Stede wants and because Ed gives Izzy a Look and a nudge with his elbow and Izzy knows if he keeps trying to object, Edward will pull a dick move and say something like “mate, you stabbed the guy in the gut. the least you can do is put on a frilly cravat for one evening”.

But when he steps into the captains’ cabin in a velvet coat, lace at his throat and cuffs, heeled shoes, and stockings of such expensive delicate fabric they are practically sheer enough to show the tattoos on Izzy’s calves, Izzy doesnt even get the chance to growl and grumble and scoff about how stupid he feels in this shit because immediately Stede is like.

“Oh, that won’t do at all, will it?” while making an expression like he just got slapped in the face with a dead fish

And Izzy, having heard Edward talk about the “you wear fine things well” compliment being the moment he fell in love with Stede, is thinking he fucked up somehow. That he doesnt wear fine things well and Stede regrets every letting Izzy even touch any of it and maybe Stede wont want him the way he wants Edward because he’s not fucking fancy enou-

“Darling, go put your leathers back on. You look so uncomfortable.”

And when Izzy gives Stede the fancy gear back he mumbles something like an apology about them not suiting him like they suit Edward and Stede gets that little furrow in his brow.

“Nonsense! You were absolutely stunning, my dear. But you seemed unhappy in them and I always think you are your handsomest when you are happy.”

#steddyhands #stizzy #ofmd #definitely inspired by that post where the female agent/spy/criminal or whatever puts on the dress to go undercover #and the men are like 'you need to stop. go put your cargo pants back on'#and pick the big beefy bruiser guy to wear the dress instead #you know the post

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deedoop · 2 years ago

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Breaking In

TW: Consensual Non Consent, Rape Themes, Breaking and Entering, MAYBE DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT????

It was an awfully dark night in Hawkins Indiana, Steve Harrington was all alone in his too big house, laying on the couch. His mouth agape as he pulled his pretty cock out of his dark blue sailor shorts, it was already hard and leaking, the only light in the room was the TV. The VHS was on, and Steve Harrington was watching something absolutely filthy. He had to go out of town to get it, wore his hoodie tight on his face as he grabbed it. On the screen was a strong man and a young twink getting absolutely railed, the twink screaming in absolute delight as the older muscular man spoke utterly filthy words. Steve stroked himself nice and slow, eyes fixated on the screen, his mind and body lost to the sin he was committing.

So little was he paying attention to the world around him that he had missed every obvious sign that someone was outside his house, someone was watching. Billy Hargrove was circling the house, a devious and evil smirk on his lips as he found Steve Harrington jerking off on full display in his living room. This was going to be easier than he thought. He fondled the knife in his pocket, Steve Harrington was a cock slut. Who wouldve known? And here was just going to break in and steal some jewelry. Steve’s hips arched, sweat beading at his furrowed brow, “Fuck me Daddy.” Steve groaned, fisting at his cock faster. Billy could feel his cock growing uncomfortably hard in his jeans, could feel lust boiling at his flesh in ways he had never expected. He was going to make Steve Harrington his.

Steve barely fucking noticed the thuds and creaks as someone climbed up onto the lip of his living room window, only startling as a loud crash of glass echoed. “Wha-” He was sitting up quickly, trying to hide his cock while also trying to grab anything he could use to defend himself. “Billy!?” His eyes went wide, the tv playing its sinful noise. “You like when big men push you around huh Stevie? You like this shit?” He pointed his knife at the tv, than at Steve. “I didn’t figure you’d be one to like being stuffed fucking stupid princess.” Steve swallowed hard, his heart was pounding out of his chest. “Billy what the fuck do you want?” He’s going towards the landline, inching towards it, trying desperately to be slow and subtle.

“Don’t you fucking dare Harrington.” His eyes are like a predators, dangerous. It takes only three steps before Billy is crowding him against the wall, a smug look on his face. “You see, at first I was just going to rob you blind but than I saw you spread open, looking like such a pretty thing.” His words are slow and easy, like hes talking to a moron who just wasn’t getting it. “Saw you whisper for Daddy to fuck you, so now Stevie, I want you.” A whimper escapes Steve’s throat and he punches into Billy’s face only for the stronger man to use his entire weight to push him onto the floor, his large hand pressing against his mouth and nose, the other hand pressing the knife to his neck. “See Stevie, that is not what I want because I know what you want.” Steve struggles weakly against him, Billy’s weight is impossible to escape, worse yet he can feel his cock hardening again, feel arousal pooling in his gut from the large man pinning him down, choking him of air.

“You just need a good dick Stevie. Need someone to fuck you like the princess you are. You need a strong mans cock in you to fuck you stupid. I’m right, right? I can feel your cock hard against my ass Stevie. You ever take it up the ass before? Oh right you cant talk because you cant breathe. You gonna behave?” And Steve nods frantically, his lungs burning for air in the worst kind of way. The hand is slowly removed, but the knife at his neck stays. He gasps for air like a fish taken out of water, taking large gulps of air, his heart wouldn’t stop pounding. Steve Harrington is helpless against this intruder, against Billy Hargrove. Against the man who was going to have his way with him.

“I asked you a question Princess.” Billy’s voice is teasing, almost sing song like, its sweet and kind. “You ever take it up the ass?” And Steve has tears in his eyes like hes more embarrassed than afraid, his eyes looking away. “Answer me Stevie.” He snarled, his voice harsher, demanding, the knife digs into Steve’s neck. “No..I-I’m..” Steve has to catch his breath. Billy moves Steve’s face, forcing him to look at him. “I’m a virgin.” Steve whispers, almost coos it, his cheeks flushed. Billy’s breath is almost snatched away, how shy and sweet Steve looked, how pretty he looked as those words left his lips. Billy gently wiped away the tears from Steve’s eyes with his thumb, “Don’t worry baby, I wont do anything you wont like.”

The hiccup escapes Steve, he’s shaking and nervous, knows he has no control over what is going to happen, knows that he is royally screwed. “Is it going to hurt?” He finally whispered, watery eyes looking up at Billy, his cock is so hard, he hates how his body betrays him, because yes he does want to be taken by a big strong man, wants to be fucked, but he never thought it would be by a man he barely knew breaking into his home. Steve sucks in his pink bottom lip, his eyes so mousey it almost hurts Billy’s soul. Almost. “No baby.” He whispers, “Just relax or else I’m gonna have to make it hurt.” He’s so sickeningly kind, almost caring, his thumb traces the tear streaked cheek bone of Steve’s oh so perfect face. “Why are you crying baby? I’m gonna make all your dreams come true.” And God Steve’s cock twitches, he hates himself for it.

Billy uses his knife to slowly cut off Steve’s uniform, exposing his chest, his nipples immediately hardening to the cold air, Steve cant help himself, bites back a moan, warm tears pooling on his chin. “Someone’s excited huh?” Billy whispers hotly, tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly. He takes the opportunity to flick one of Steve’s nipples, relishing in how Steve tenses, in how he feels his beautiful cock twitch against him. “Really excited.” Billy confirms with a hum. He moves between Steve’s legs, yanking down his shorts, tsking his tongue as he did. “No underwear baby? You were begging for someone like me to come along. Mmm don’t close your eyes Stevie, look at me.” Billy’s words are laced with threat. “Don’t you wanna be like the movies? Don’t you wanna take Daddy’s cock? Uh-uh don’t even think about scrambling away Stevie!” He yanks Steve by his legs back towards him, “Cant have you be my final girl princess.” He chuckles.

Steve is royally fucked. He just has to take it, hope Billy doesn’t hurt him. Is it bad his heart keeps jumping every time Billy graces his skin? Not in fear but..wary arousal? If that made any sense. Billy who was like a lion on the hunt, showing sweet mercy. It was like heroin almost. Fear and pleasure creating a heady mix in his head leaving him confused and scared and wanting. He watched with wary eyes as Billy pulled down his jeans, he wasn’t wearing any underwear either but Steve didn’t dare point that out. Right now he was concerned about how utterly big Billy was. “No! Nonono! I- You’re too big I cant take that! I cant take that! I’m a virgin..” His voice cracked, his face blotched red with tears and humiliation.

Billy gave his own cock a small stroke, relishing in the sight before him, the man who was completely at his mercy. “Oh sweetheart.” Billy cooed, “Daddy’s gonna take care of everything, you just sit back and watch the TV okay? Watch what’s going to happen to you.” He turned Steve’s head towards the television set, on the screen the young man was gaping open, cum dripping out of his hole and down his pretty thighs, the older more muscular man fucking into his once more. Steve’s breath hitched, he felt precum dribbling down his cock, felt shame boiling low in his gut. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He felt warmth press at his hole, wanted to close his eyes but Billy tsked, “Someone’s pretty lose for a virgin Stevie, you fuck yourself huh? You pretend its a big strong mans cock fucking you stupid?” and Steve nods quickly, a harsh sob escaping out of his chest.

His legs are spread open, Billy is pouring copious amounts of warming lube against Steve’s pretty hole, massaging in and fingering him. Steve mewls slightly, cant help it as his eyes squeeze shut, cant help it as he grinds up into nothing, desperate and deeply embarrassed. A laugh, feral and loud escapes Billy, “See princess? Makin’ your dreams come true.” He spreads his fingers, scissoring Steve open, Steve who is fighting to keep his eyes open, to not cum right than and there. “Youre so big..” He mumbles, chewing on his lip, Billy’s cock has finally pressed against him, hard and leaking. “Thanks princess, I promise this wont hurt at all.” He coos right before slamming into Steve, making him yelp. With his strong arms he flips Steve onto his stomach, making him watch the tv, making him watch the twink get obliterated as he did too. “Fuck!” Billy howls, slamming nice and hard, making Steve cry and scream, making him move forward with each thrust, his cock dragging against his mothers expensive white carpet. He didn’t even have words, he was pretty sure his vision was blanking out, he was stuffed full of Billy’s cock and Billy was fucking him stupid.

“About it not hurting princess? Might’ve lied.” He purred into the shell of Steve’s ear, pounding into him with vigor, the sounds of their skin slapping together louder than the TV, echoing in the large living space. Steve sobbed bitterly, needing to touch his cock, the brutal desire to cum overtaking anything else, the feeling of Billy’s cock stretching wider than he ever had been before destroying any sense of self decency as he moaned and drooled like the bimbo cum slut he was. “Ima cum..” He slurred out, “Billy fuck ima cum!” This only spurred Billy to fuck him harder, fuck him faster, to pull at his hair and bite at his neck. It only spurned Billy to chase his own orgasm fast. Steve had been reduced to his most true self, a whore.

“Fuck Stevie!” Billy’s jaw fell open as Steve clenched around him, he peppered Steve’s jaw with kisses, unable to help himself, Steve looked so pretty cumming on his dick. Steve who was staining his mothers carpet with his cum, Steve who was howling into the night in absolute pleasure, still fucking himself up against Billy’s cock. “Oh..Oh fuck..” Steve panted, eyes squeezing as Billy screamed out his own orgasm, feral and loud just like the man himself, his loud heavy and filling, dripping out of Stevie just like the twink in his film.

They laid there a long silent moment, just catching their breath, stayed there until Steve felt cum drying against his stomach. He winced at the gross feeling. “You broke my fucking window. Whatever happened to oh the door was unlocked?” Steve pouted. Billy quirked and eyebrow, kissing his lips sweetly, Steve so warm and pliant in his arms. “I got into character! What kind of home intruder tries the door? That’s stupid.” Billy rolled his eyes as if this was common knowledge. “Say a bird flew into it or something.” Steve couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “I didn’t go to far did I? Are you-” Steve held up a finger against Billy’s lips, “If you had gone to far I would have used my safe word just like I promised. It was fun. Right? You had fun?” Billy blushed gently and put on a mocking falsetto, “I’m a virgin! Don’t take me mr robber I’m a virgin!” That earned him a solid whack on the shoulder, Steve bright red. “Shut up mr I got into character.” They both burst out laughing, snuggling against each other on the comfortable soft carpet. “C’mon, we gotta get a bath and clean up the glass.” Steve whispered, eyes drowsy. Billy gently kissed his forehead, “I got it. Don’t worry about, lets just get you up into bed.” As fucked as it was out of context? Steve couldn’t wait for the next break-in.

#billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrinton #lemon #writing #IF I STOP POSTING AFTER THIS GOD FINALLY HAD ENOUGH OF MY SHIT #WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS #im a menace to society #im sorry

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ellienettie · 2 years ago

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6. Tim dies (lol)

I just wanted to write about Tim dying and the batboys grieving about it in their own ways (or what I like to imagine is their way of grieving) so Tim gets shot as a civi and everyone sees it and the next chapters focus on a batboy.

Bruce - Bruce, for losing the boy who didn't have to find and save him, for losing the boy who he knows without a doubt would never leave him, the boy who was his son before he was officially his. He contemplates all his sons relationship here and starts drinking again, thinking about how disappointed Tim would be because *Really Bruce? You're doing this again?* But Bruce can't find his strength to let go of the intoxicating liquid, can't find the will to not let himself drink his lucidity away because the person who stopped it in the first place is gone. He keeps one thing, though. One thing Tim did his best to change. Bruce still keeps his punches soft as batman, and it hurts that Jason tells him that he never cared about Tim, he never loved him enough to lose his will to batman again. Truth be told, Jason, that all Bruce wants to do is let go of batman now, but batman is what Tim would've never let go of, so he doesn't stop even if he spends sunsets to mid-morning to stop fighting, even if his punches are so weak it doesn't do anything to criminals, and if once upon a time it was the criminals nearly being beaten to death, now is their payback and Bruce wishes he could find it in him to be strong again.

Dick - He’s holding on to hope. Death wasn’t a forever concept in Gotham. Proof? Bruce, Jason, Joker, Damian, so why would Tim be the exception? And Dick feels off about everything and he’s tired and stressed and then someone just touches him and all of a sudden he’s clinging to Tim’s coffin, crying about how that’s his little brother in there, telling people to give him back. Dick, the oldest brother, who once again lost another brother. He thinks about maybe Tim would come back to life- "and that's another person in the dead robin's club. Letting robin pass on was a fucking mistake" and basically starts overworking himself and ignoring people again, until he breaks because he has to physically lock the gun man up and he beats the gun man an inch or less to death and he feels guilty and he should be arrested but the police (his workmates) are like "it's ok. We got you. He was scum." Trying to hide it and Dick's even more disgusted at the fact that he's not punished for his mistake.

Jason - Jason thinks he's glad. Jason thinks he's glad that Tim's dead. Except he's not. Jason wanted to kill him, yes, but why now? *Why now?* when things were going fine, and everything is alright, and there was *hope* that everything would become better and shit won't hit the fan and- he thinks it's a punishment for being happy, he thinks it's the universe telling him that he should've never become happy with someone he tried to kill. Another robin dead in the club, and he lashes out in anger and people *try* to accept that it's not the truth but it's hard right now and everything *sucks* and it sucks even more because he's the only one who's stable enough to properly prepare a funeral with Alfred, and what absolutely guts him like a fish is how Alfred tenderly holds a picture of ‘Robin!Jason’ and tells him that it was Tim's prized possession, that he, Jason's Robin, was Tim's reason to be in this lifestyle. Through the miracle of the butterfly effect, Tim is now dead. Jason hates butterflies.

Damian - Damian. Damian's glad, so glad that he's dead. Drake has never been worthy of the mantle, or the company. Drake was never needed, because if Father waited a while longer he would have a more worthy robin by his side, also saving him from himself. The sting of a slap doesn't surprise him, no, it's the fact that it's from his own father that it does. "After he got shot for you, Damian?" And Bruce leaves with a stumble, Alfred not even sparing him a glance. It seems like the world's against Damian after the one thing he wished for finally came true. Drake was dead, and for the better. Damian was superior in every way. Except. Except Damian feels a strange longing. He finds himself looking for new photos to appear magically in the manor as always, except Pennyworth never hangs them up anymore, cradling the few left and cleaning them with such tender loving care. He finds listening carefully for the hum of punk music playing loudly in headphones, or the meticulous clicking of objects that Drake fancied, like a camera, or his laptop. He finds himself sniffing the air for the usual smell of coffee, only to be met with nothing. He finds himself...missing drake.

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wallflowerimagines · 3 years ago

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Hi! I looove your posts! Thank you so much for sharing your writing!

I was wondering… could you maybe write about the Four Lords with a shy S/O that gets bold and defensive when someone insults the lords? or calls them names? And the Lord’s reaction to the S/O acting different? Dk if im explaining myself >.<

Again! Love your work! Have a great day!

We stan protective partners on this blog!!

Warnings: uh...insults? They're pretty over the top😅 Also swearing.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Honestly, Alcina is more than able to defend herself.

She's got a tongue like a viper, and the thickest skin imaginable. If you really want to hurt her feelings, you have to be someone whom she already respects to a certain degree, or she won't even be phased.

Still, when she leaves a room, there's always some idiot that thinks it's a smart idea to talk shit.

Maybe it's a maid, maybe it's a guest in the Castle, but either way you're not having it.

"God, you're annoying." There was a pause before they opened their mouth again, and you rolled your eyes. "No please, by all means, continue to share your lack of taste with the rest of us."

You disassemble this dumbass, starting small with comments about their personality (trying to keep it classy), but escalating the more they choose to double down on the comments.

Alcina comes back into the room to find you practically screaming at this asshole.

"Look, all you have accomplished here today is revealing that you are a fundamental disappointment on every possible level. My life is worse now that I've heard you open your mouth, you disrespectful, shit licking worm fucker."

Alcina is stunned. You do not give off "aggressive guard dog" vibes at all, yet here you are defending her tooth and nail. While she had seen brief moments of your inner strength and protective streak (mostly towards her daughters) she just...never thought you would do the same for her.

It's not because she doesn't trust you or love you! But nobody has ever done something like this for her before? Ever? She's never had anyone try to protect her--not physically, and not even verbally. She's been so independent for so long that it's... Strange to see you support her so openly.

She doesn't need you to do this for her, she doesn't even expect it, but you do it anyway for no other reason than the fact that you love her. You want people to give her the respect she deserves.

I'm going to be real here: Alcina has never been closer to swooning before in her life. You're overcoming your shyness because you believe in her so much-- it's not a gesture meant to be romantic, but Alcina can't help but see this as a massive statement of your commitment to her.

Seriously. This is such a massive thing for her that if proposals weren't already on her mind, she is mentally picking out a ring for you the minute this happens.

Then, of course, she glides into the room, kisses you until you're breathless and babbling, and smirks at the unfortunate peon who thought they could get away with insulting House Dimitrescu.

She's in such a good mood that she's considering going easy on the idiot. Maybe removing their tongue would be enough of a warning?

Donna Dimitrescu

You don't really know how it's possible but apparently some people don't like Donna Beneviento? Some people think she's scary and unpleasant????

Wild. Can't imagine what that's like.

The two of you are honestly the sweetest, most toothrottingly adorable couple-- blushing when you hold each other's hands, sneaking glances at each other across rooms, giving each other kisses and forgetting whatever was on your mind...

Honestly, anybody who's critical of your relationship with your girlfriend is just a hater. Fuckers can pound sand😤

Still, you are pretty shy, so it takes a lot for you to defend yourself if someone comments about you. It can take a lot of courage to stand up against rude remarks, and sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Defending Donna, on the other hand?

The minute someone even thinks about dismissing her, you are ready to throw hands.

"My lovely girlfriend already said no, meaning you're either deaf or too stupid to pick up on simple social cues," you purse your lips and give the rude and pushy Villager a patronizing once over. "You and your opinion are equally useless. Get the fuck away from us."

Donna blinks.

She... Was not expecting this??? At all?? You're so nice! You always tell her about your attempts to avoid confrontation! What's going on??? How did you get the guts to say what she's always wanted to say?

Meanwhile, Angie is LIVING.

The little doll chimes in to assist you with the verbal homicide, working as a tag team to absolutely murder this moron. She's half partner, half hype man, and is so excited to do this with you. Normally, she has to protect Donna all by herself, but she's relieved and reassured that you stepped in first.

'USELESS IS TOO NICE, THOUGH! THAT IMPLIES THEY AREN'T A POINTLESS, RANCID, LONELY FREAK. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CRY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE.'

You high five Angie, still glaring daggers at the unfortunate villager.

The two of you continue to ream into the villager, while Donna hovers nearby.

As surprised as she is, she's also grateful. She's only really ever had Angie to help shield her from insults and disrespect (and occasionally inducing horrifying hallucinations that make people claw off their own skin), but having you in her corner makes her feel safe.

Not to get totally sappy, but you're like her knight in shining armor in a lot of ways. And the fact you two are so similar is really motivating-- She wants to one day be confident enough to return the favor. Until then, she's happy to watch her two favorite people have fun insulting some stranger ❤️

Salvatore Moreau

With you being so shy, Salvatore is surprised how often he takes the lead in your relationship.

He's not normally all that outgoing, but you seem to bring out a side of him that's very protective. Whenever you have a bad day he wants to bundle you up and keep you safe from the world.

If he so much as holds your hand you start stuttering and avert your gaze. It creates a feedback loop where you both get flustered, but Moreau has never felt steadier. Despite your shyness, you make sure he knows how much you love him.

You're sweet as pie and twice as kind--Salvatore is the luckiest man in the world, nobody can convince him otherwise 💕💕

So it comes as a total shock that when a passing fisherman spits in your path and calls him a freak, your entire demeanor does a 180.

Your posture straightens and you look the villager dead in the eye, "I don't believe anyone asked your opinion."

Salvatore: 😳

This is not the time, and he totally knows it, but, uh, something about your tone??? Really does it for him???

While he's attempting to process why exactly he's starting to short circuit, you proceed to verbally shred this person to bits with clinical efficiency-- nothing is off limits.

They might try to defend themselves, but it's useless. You do not let up.

"Ugly? Monster? Bitch your teeth are throwing gang signs, don't throw stones from your shining glass house."

You insult their appearance, what they're holding, their smell-- you get so fucking mean that you might even make them cry.

Moreau is just lost right now, trying hard to figure out how exactly you were able to gain all of this confidence so quickly.

He's not upset! In fact he's very flattered! But, he also doesn't want you to get into a fight with some unimportant stranger. (After all, if they so much as throw a punch, they're straight up dead. Moreau is a patient man, but he's not that patient. You do not hurt his partner and live to tell the tale.)

He may a healer but...

Eventually he steps between you and the fisherman in an attempt to deescalate the situation, but you just kiss him on the cheek and step around him, determined to make your point.

Blushing hard, Moreau lets you do what you want. What can he say? Fish man likes himself a protective partner 💞

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is not the most social guy to begin with, so any opportunities you have to stick up for him are already pretty slim.

He mostly knows you as the shy, sweet, easily flustered partner that lets out a cute squeak every time he sneaks up to hug you from behind.

Karl's honestly happy just to spend time with you all alone in the Factory. It's not the best or healthiest mindset, but he'd be perfectly content to only ever see you for the rest of his life. Spending time with anybody else feels like a boring waste in comparison.

But occasionally, you do head out into town with him. Heisenberg wants you to be safe so he doesn't do it often, but running errands with you is a weakness of his. It's domestic in a way that he's never experienced before.

He likes it ❤️

What he does not like is the shopkeeper starting to give their opinions on the quality of your relationship with him.

Most insults Karl will let slide because he doesn't particularly care. However if anyone makes a comment on how scared (shy) you look around him, how you must be being threatened into being with him, how poorly Lord Heisenberg is treating you...he won't stand for it.

But before his fingers can even twitch towards his hammer, you snap.

"You're clearly the blindest cocksucker I've ever met--so wipe the cum out of eyes and mind your own fucking business."

Karl does a double take.

He's heard you curse before, but quietly. The words coming out of your mouth are WILD right now, he has NEVER seen you so angry. You're defending him with the aggression of a wild animal, and it's simultaneously HILARIOUS, but for some reason he's also getting a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest?

He doesn't need you to protect him like this, but seeing you blatantly argue how much you love and cherish him in public reassures him in a way he didn't know he needed.

Still, hearing you call the shopkeeper "shit for brains" is the funniest thing that's happened in years.

Heisenberg starts laughing, and the more you shout at the idiot, the harder he laughs. Is it weird how hard he wants to kiss you right now?

Eventually, he just has to drag you away, cackling as you continue to shout insults at the unfortunate shopkeep. There's got to be an alley around here for some good old fashioned privacy 💕

#lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil village #re8 #resident evil 8 #resident evil #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #angie beneviento #karl heisenberg #angie the doll #swearing #insults

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felswritingfire · 4 years ago

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(Hades) Gods x Shade! Reader

No matter how much you try, mortality will always catch up to those who are not of gods. Even the most blinded of them learn this eventually. You take your death with grace, choosing to go and explore this new world as soon as Lord Hades permits you to go, impressed by how little you complain and demand. You are one of the brighter parts of his day (night?).

You drift along, catching certain snippets of other Shade’s conversations as you wander aimlessly. You notice a crack in the wall; deciding to muster up your courage, you slip through it to find yourself in the glowing green torches of Tartarus. With what little you have, you hold it close to your translucent body and push forward.

You’re quick to notice the large glowing ball with an oddly familiar symbol floating in the middle of it. You take your time circling it, feeling compelled to touch it. When you do, a beam of light comes slicing through the dreary air to reveal a mighty god who stares down at you at your shocked form...

Zues

Cause of Death: Lightning Strike

Zues is confused when he sees you. He’s even more confused when you start screaming at him, waving your hands about and threatening to fight him yourself.

“You fucker! You killed me!”

He raises a brow. “I think I’d remember if I killed you.” You flipped up your middle finger at him and his eyebrows drew into an angry v. “How rude! I am the God of Gods-”

“I don’t care!”

Zagreus had to high tail it to you before Zues tried to smite you (possibly a second time).

Suffice to say you hoped you’d never bump into that boon again. And you didn’t. No, the God of Gods and Lightning himself decided that he’d have to make a house call himself (Hades was not pleased when a bolt of lightning came crashing down and left a scorched black ring in the carpet).

He picks you out quickly and you try to zoom out of the lobby until he catches you by the back of your robe and then you’re swinging and yelling profanities at him. He’s kinda amused now instead of angry- you’re just so weak and tiny compared to him. It’s hysterical- ow! Did you just bite him?

After you and Zues finish your little “spitting match”- Hades kicks Zeus out and you're forced to hang out in Tartarus for a bit (“but I’m just a simple fisherfolk! I can’t fight anything!” You cry, Hades does not spare you a look as you're dragged out by Meg).

You think maybe that’s the end until you’re approached by a… a squirrel? You almost punt it when his voice spills out as he shoots into a long prattle about how much of a jerk Hades was and how he couldn’t handle someone as grandiose as him appearing before him. Threatened him as a god or something- you were busy trying to figure out how you were going to kill this guy and make sure he stayed dead.

Turns out, after the two of you chattered (argued) a bit about whether or not he actually killed you, Zeus had some neat stories about the gods.

While you were interested in his children’s and brothers’ and sisters’ stories, he was interested in your stories of the mundane. A simple fisherfolk? That was a word? You just fished and traded? Amazing! Tell him more!

After this particular interaction between the two of you, Zeus really ended liking you. Maybe a little too much, but, aw well, it wasn’t everyday a mortal soul had the balls to argue with him for something he doesn’t remember doing (he probably did. Probably. Most likely). He swore that he’d come and see you everyday as he sat on your shoulder as a squirrel, going on and on about how you should feel blessed to be praised by one such as he. You were about to throw him until a giant hand came out and grabbed him (seemed you drifted too close to Lord Hades’ desk), the hulking god flinging him out of a portal.

He continues to pop up and bother you and, to be honest, he’s kinda growing on you. Also, I’m gonna be frank and lay it out that, if he likes you enough, he’s probs gonna want to smash, especially if you lean more towards the feminine side (he’s fucking AWFUL). It’s up to you if you wanna indulge that or not, I don’t recommend it, but you can if you really want to.

We’re going with the option you don’t smash- he’ll be salty at you for a whole ass day before he comes back the one after that as a rat (Hades kept finding out his forms that he used to sneak in so it was an ever constant menagerie of appearances to keep up the disguise) and is like: “I thought you would miss me too much so I came back before you could even complain.”

Zag likes to watch the two of you interact because he finds it absolutely fascinating. It’s like watching… He doesn’t know what it’s like but he’s having a blast as you roast his uncle to bits. It really helps him out when he’s feeling a bit down after failing getting out one too many times.

When you first get Zeus an Ambrosia, he thinks it’s poison and then he gets all prideful because of course you would give him an offering, he was the strongest of all the gods! Him and him alone!

“Silly, mortal, you cannot poison me! I am a god.”

You squint your eyes at him before you huff and pull the bottle closer to you. “Fine, whatever, I’ll just give it to Zagreus- or better yet, Hades if you don’t want it.”

“No! No! I want it! Give it to me! It’s mine!”

During this time, he’s actually experiencing some purer emotions in life- he’s genuinely giddy that you got him the Ambrosia and asks how you got it. You hold up a makeshift fishing rod and grin at him, telling him you snatched it from some nasty shades before you wandered back down to Tartarus.

His gift to you is a little lightning pin that, when you're in danger, will send a nasty bolt of lightning down on your enemies. You wonder what good it’ll do since you’re dead already, but shrug and accept it, thinking that he looks years younger and friendler when his smile isn’t packed full of ego and pride.

Poseidon

Cause of Death: Drowning

Poseidon, Lord of the Oceans, Earthquakes, and many other things, is simply- how do you say? Amused? It’s the best way to describe it at least. Of course he was mostly surprised when he appeared expecting the Little Hades to be waiting for him just to meet a Little Shade in his place.

“Why, hello there, Little Shade! You wouldn’t happen to know where the Little Hades is, would you?”

You shake your head, he doesn’t miss the way you nervously play with your hands, drifting back as some of his droplets float close to you.

He laughs at your simple reply. “Shy one aren’t you?” He leans closer to you, squinting and running a hand through his beard while he hummed.

You fight the urge to take a step back, the smell of salt water making your stomach churn.

His eyes flutter shut as he takes a deep breath. He takes a moment before he opens his eyes again and a look of understanding flashes across his eyes. “You drowned. Didn’t you?”

You stare up at him, eyes round and glassy. You nod.

Before your conversation can go any further, Zagreus comes running through the window, surprised to see his Uncle talking to a Shade (you look so scared- he hopes that you aren’t being bullied). You’re quick to take your leave bowing to both and passing the boon to the Prince before you scurry away into the cover of the other Shades.

He hums to himself, a cryptid smile on his face as his eyes follow after you. Such a strange little thing you were- he wouldn’t mind seeing you again.

It takes a bit, but he does happen to see you again, by peaking through a fountain in a fountain room in the Underworld. He spies you trying to poke at the water that he happened to choose, but jumping back each time. You face scrunched up into one of pure frustration. He asks if you’re doing alright there, Little Shade? Causing you to flash out of existence for a moment before settling back down and looking into the pool with wide eyes. Posiedon almost busts a gut with how hard he’s laughing and you huff telling him that it wasn’t funny.

He says otherwise, but asks what you’re doing. When your face bursts into a large blush you mumble something that he doesn’t quite catch and he’s left with more questions than answers as you take the chance to phase out of the chamber when Zag walks in and steals his Uncle’s attention for a split second. He furrows his brow before asking his nephew about you, which Zag, surprisingly, supplies rather quickly, seeing as the two of you talk a lot: apparently you’re deathly afraid of water after you were thrown into the ocean by your supposed best friend. The memories of the waves crushing you deeper and deeper beneath them sticking with you even in death. So, you were trying to curb that phobia. Posiedon nods, letting the words sink in before he offers the Little Hades a thumbs up and says he’ll help with that.

The next time you see the god, he’s eager to call you over and explain that he’s figured out what you were doing last time and offers to let you mess with some of the drops of water that follow him wherever he goes. You stare at them, eyebrows furrowed and looking just as sick as a shade could look. Yet, you still nod your head and hold out a shaky hand. He smiles at you, praising you for your courage and flicks one towards you; it floats gently before it rests serenely on your palm, allowing you to feel the cool sensation of the droplet. You marvel at it, still shaking with an anxiety before you nod. He pulls it away, it shoots back to rest next to his head and you thank him for going out of his way to help you and ease your fears.

He remarks that you should fear the water out of respect: it’s unpredictable, terrifying in it’s own right- vast and, seemingly, never ending, what could possibly be more terrifying than the unknown, hm? He continues to say that you should also hold onto a bit of bravery at the very least, for untold treasures come from there for those who look.

After that conversation, Poseidon makes it a habit of having you hold onto his droplets of water, making them slightly bigger each time for you to get used to them.

By the time you’re able to touch them freely without experiencing crippling fear- the droplets are almost the size of you. Poseidon praises you the more you grow out of your fear.

You do eventually open up to him about how you died and he never tells you that he already knew. Just allows you to talk in a soft voice as you recall it. It’s a nice bonding experience for the both of you and Posideon decides that you’re his favorite Shade and he’ll treasure you for as long as you exist.

The first time you get him a bottle of Ambrosia, you come to him shivering and sopping wet. He’s confused and concerned as he hovers to you.

“What happened to you, Little Shade? Are you alright?”

It takes you a moment to be able to speak. “I- I found a bottle of Ambrosia. I thought-” you take a deep breath, holding out the bottle with both hands- “I thought you’d like it.”

It’s one of his prized possessions now, he takes little sips of it once in a while, but other than that it remains as one of his most precious memories. He’s very attached to you at this point and you’ll forever have his blessing. His gift to you, aside from the undying loyalty, is a shell necklace, if you ever need him- you only need to whisper his name to it and he’ll appear in an instant.

Athena

Cause of Death: Exhaustion

Athena had been prepared to meet with Zagreus- not a curious shade staring back up at her with all the relevance of one of her worshippers.

“What business do you have with me?”

She raises her brow at your gobsmacked expression, watching as you screw your face up before bowing. “Apologies, m’lady, I only happened to bump into your…” you look at where it glows, furrowing your eyebrow, “your orb?”

“Boon.”

You nod your head in understanding before bowing your head again. “Again, my sincerest apologies.”

Luckily, she didn’t smite you, instead asking the question of how you were even talking to her. Getting a shrug from you, you say that maybe it’s because you worshipped her (unofficially, you were never able to make it up to her shrine much to your disappointment) when you were alive- maybe a deeper bond is there compared to someone who had never prayed to her for her protection and guidance.

When she hears this, she’s very interested, pressing you to elaborate further when the Young Prince comes jogging out of the glowing window, waving to you. You slink away, passing the boon to him and bowing to her once again before you disappear into the mass of Shades that choose to wander their new home as well.

After the conversation, you had caught the Goddess’ attention, planting a desire in her to see you again. Even going as far as to write a letter to ask her uncle for a council with you after a week passed of her placing her boon in Tartarus so that maybe you would drift too close to it once again. But each time only the little prince would find them (which she was fine with, but it still left such an unflattering taste of defeat on her tongue each time it wasn’t you). She figured it would be a moot point to send the letter, but it was worth a try.

But she decided to place her boon down once more before she sent it out. Just to try. And this time it worked.

You were the one she saw and she was absolutely delighted- not that she showed it, choosing to keep her stoic and sharp expression. You greet her in a similar way before: awed before bowing your head to her. You continue to go on about how you're happy to see her again and, despite how little you had been buried with, you hoped that she would take this- a broken sword, despite the worn hilt and the deep scars the littered what was left of the flat of the balde; it was still polished (at least what was left of it)- as a proper offering to her for all she had done in your life- even if it truly wasn’t all her doings.

She takes the sword in her hand, holding it high, her eyes shining as she studies it: truly, it was a warrior’s blade. She watches as the history and memories flash in the smooth iron. She remarks that it is a remarkable offering, but she cannot accept it. It feels wrong taking a weapon of a warrior such as yourself.

You smile as her, shaking your head, urging her to take it, for you didn’t need that blade in this afterlife. You had already fought your battles, killing the man who you had been battling with and quelling the rage that had followed you since you were a child for revenge. Eventually, dying from the strain of the fight with a feeling of contentedness.

Athena raises her brow, remarking how that sounded more along the lines of Ares rather than her.

You nod, but say that you couldn’t help but desire her help for she was the goddess attached to your favorite animal. She had to fight the urge to laugh, a shaky smile slipping through as she nods at you. Such a silly thing you are. She decides that she’ll take the sword as a reminder of you, no matter where you should go now. She also decides that you were forming a rather soft cradle in her heart.

After this, she is quick to ask Zagreus about you every chance she gets- not that he minds too much, he tells her about how you’ve been helping him train and you’ve even told him about your life when you were alive (“a general, can you believe that? They’re so young!” Zagreus says as he shows her the new move you taught him). She’s only the slightest bit miffed at hearing that you and Achilles have begun to form a sweet friendship. She’s pleased to hear that his father has been trying to barter with you to get you into Elysium, though she’s a tad confused on the reason you refuse to.

She asks you about it one day and you say that it would take longer to see her and you would prefer to avoid that. It was the only time the goddess has ever had to fight down a blush.

When you get her a bottle of Ambrosia, she’s in pure awe at the huge bottle.

“How did you get one this big?”

You lean against the new sword you managed to get your hands on- something simple and obviously used- you offer her a lopsided grin. “Well, not just any Ambrosia would work, so I decided to try my luck with Lord Theseus and, The Great Bull, Asterius. Took me a couple of tries but I managed to beat them and snag it.”

Athena smiles warmly at it, telling you that she’ll treasure it and think of you every time she takes a drink of it. She realizes in that moment just how important you had become to her, never feeling this… soft for a mortal soul in her life. Her gift to you is a shield and a new sword: the shield bares her symbol of an owl while the sword was ornate with a divine glow. She promises that no matter what they’ll protect you and so will she, you only need to call out her name.

Aphrodite

Cause of Death: A Broken Heart

When the Goddess of Love first sees you- she thinks you’re absolutely gorgeous (of course not as gorgeous as her). The sad look in your eye and the slight frown that rests on your lips makes her almost fall in love right then and there.

“Hello, little one- do you know where the little godling is?”

You shake your head. “I’m sorry, Lady Aphrodite. I know not where he is.”

She raises her brows, a smile on her face. “How did you know I was Aphrodite, my dear?”

You look up at her, a sudden glint in your eyes has her yearning to see it once again. “No one else could be so breathtaking, my Lady.”

Oh. Oh, she likes you.

She chooses to chatter away with you- despite you mostly listening, adding little things here and there, she feels a strange sense of fullness, like she just ate a full and warm meal for the first time in a very long time, by the time Zagreus arrives. You bid your farewell and she can’t help but follow you with her gaze as your transparent form blends in with the other Shades.

Aphrodite is thrilled the next time she runs into you- or rather you run into her boon. She missed the melancholy look in your eyes, she also doesn’t miss the fact that you’ve come bearing gifts this time: an assortment of colorful flowers rests in your arms and you offer it to her. That glint coming and going like a shooting star as she accepts the offering, holding it up to her nose to take in their sweet scent. How sweet were you to hand her something so delicate.

She asks you where you got them and you remark that you made your way up to Elysium. She’s surprised to hear as such- you didn’t seem like the warrior type. You shake your head, your eyes sweeping low. You weren’t a warrior, far from it- a simple florist if anything. You just drifted until you made it up there and plucked some flowers to make bouquets. You mumble that maybe you’ll be more useful in death.

She tilts her head at the comment, beginning to ask until Zagreus is jogging up to the both of you and it was time for you to leave. She’s a tad annoyed, but reminds herself that the little godling didn’t know- simply trying to break out of this dreary place he calls home and see Olympus in all its glory. She’ll just ask next time.

You gave her another bouquet, this one more beautiful than the last, when she gets the chance to ask you her question. Your eyes pool with a mournful look as you gaze up at her, your hand resting over the place where your heart used to beat as you look to the ground. You explain that you were young when you were wed- just as you were young when you died. You were married off to someone you did not love- someone awful, vile, who beat you down daily just to build you back up so they could laugh when they toppled you over once again. You remark about how you could feel yourself dying little by little, your delicate heart bleeding as your want for life began to dwindle away. You grew sick and you would sit by the window day in and day out, staring out and wondering what your life could have been if you were married to someone you loved. A ghost of a smile blooms on your lips as you look up at her, that glint she oh-so loved twinkling in your eye as you say that you did not die in as much loneliness and pain as you could have; having been making a bouquet dedicated just to her love and sweetness: your Lady Aphrodite who you love, ever so much.

She’s shocked when she realizes the tears that drip down her cheeks, her hand coming to caress your cheek (really your head, she was hulking compared to your small form) with her fingertips. She comments that she would accept every bouquet you made and treasure each flower like it was the one you made for her with your last breaths in the living world.

After that interaction, she comes down a lot more, asking Zagreus if he could bring along her darling florist so that she could talk to you. He always obliges, loving to see the two of you chatter about (well, her chatter about, you usually just listened with a smile on your face as you used the flowers you had plucked into flower crowns for him and Lady Aphrodite). You two become a sort of comfort for him when he’s getting frustrated: seeing your usually melancholy demeanor light up as soon as the goddess appears and in turn the goddess becomes something less vain and more gentle as she speaks to you.

At some point, you’ll probably meet Ares himself- the two never that far from each other, also she adores you, so it only makes sense for you to meet him. He’s honestly a tad unimpressed when you first meet, but when he hears about the heart ache you faced he gains a sense of respect for you, remarking that love is a battle in and of itself and you fought valiantly to keep your ability to love freely (Aphrodite might convince you to have a threesome, I’m not gonna lie, she’s attracted to you on a deep level and she has her trysts with Ares- it’s perfect in her eyes. Though she won’t push you if you don’t desire it).

When you first get her Ambrosia, she’s flabbergasted before it turns into worry for how you got it and the potential danger you were in.

She takes the bottle of gold liquid and the flowers that you had so carefully arranged. Her attention, though, is focused on the said bottle of Ambrosia. “My Darling Florist, how did you get this?” Before you can answer she shoots into a flurry of questions. “Are you alright? Did anything catch you? Hurt you? You don’t seem hurt. Oooh-” she puffs her cheeks out, her gaze sharp- “why did you get me this? It’s dangerous!”

You wait for her to calm down. “I apologize for making you worry, but I simply snuck around and grabbed it from some witches- they didn’t even notice me. And I-” you tap your fingers together, a blush blooming across your face as you look away from the goddess and she decides that she craves seeing that expression on you again- “I thought that you deserved it. It’s a much better offering than my silly bouquets.”

Well, aside from the ‘silly bouquets’ comment (which she corrects you on very quickly), she’s absolutely flattered and it might be the final nail in the coffin that has her falling for you, the little shade in front of her. She decides that you hold a piece of her heart in your translucent hands, though she chooses to keep that information to herself.

Her gift to you is a hairpin that matches hers, though if you don’t have enough hair- she says, you can always pin it to your robe. It’s a blatant claim on her part, but it also helps ease the residual heartache that followed you into death. And, hopefully (a personal hope of her), each time you look at it, you’d fall deeper and deeper in love with her as well.

Artemis

Cause of Death: Arrow to the Heart

She’s confused when she sees you, quick to voice her confusion as well. Also depending on if you're more feminine or masculine (and I don’t mean woman or man, I just mean how you present yourself), she will treat you differently depending. So, for now, we’re gonna go with the more “feminine” option:

“Who’re you?”

You bow. “An honor to meet you, Lady Artemis, I seem to have bumped into that orb on accident. Wasn’t sure what it did and the curiosity got the better of me.”

She hums, she perks when she notices your bow. “You’re a hunter?”

You smile, holding it out to her. “Yes, indeed, my Lady- I prayed to you a lot.” You laughed, adding. “Hoped to join your hunters when I was young.”

She’s quite happy to hear that and begins to chatter along with you. For some reason feeling oddly at ease around you. It’s probably because you were a fellow hunter but she simply can’t help the way she grows an odd sort of… adoration? Something like that, she thinks- for you. She almost laments the fact when Zagreus comes to get the boon.

You nod to him, biding your farewell to the Goddess and passing the boon to the Prince. She doesn’t miss how Zagreus’ eyes shine as you walk away. She almost comments on it but bites her tongue, wanting to observe the prince and the dreamy look that drifts over his features, even as you disappear.

The next time the two of you meet, she asks if she can see you in action. You agree and search up ahead to find something to demonstrate your skills on. You’re quick to find a few Numbskulls. She watches as you take a deep breath, your eyes narrowing on your unassuming targets and your footsteps become silent as you skirt closer to them. You nock an arrow, never looking away. Her eyes gleam with thrumming adrenaline at the way the muscles in your arms tense as you draw the string back. The low groan of the wood barely above a whisper as you wait for them to line up. You hold your breath, releasing the arrow- it goes through all three of them, making them break into dust in a consecutive line, a harrowing scream being wretched from them as they fade from existence. You release the breath you were holding and stand, sending a smile to the young goddess whose eyes shine with stars.

She praises you for your amazing skill and sings of your prowess. You shake your head, looking down at the ground as you argued that you were but a simple bow folk in your living life. Nothing more, nothing less.

She begs to differ! That type of skill only belongs to those of her highest ranking huntresses! She continues to gush about you until Zag comes up and, once again, greets the both of you. That dreamy look coming over his face as he looks at you. She watches as you once again disappear into Tartarus, this time though, after you’re gone, she turns to her cousin and shoots into a tangent about why he had never told her about you before and where did you come from? She has to know!

He answers all of her questions to the best of his abilities but there are even some he doesn’t know about, for example: how you died.

Artemis accepts this and decides that she’ll just ask you the next time the two of you meet.

And, true to her word, she does. She asks you point blank and you can’t help but be slightly taken aback. You laugh softly, leaning on your bow as you begin to recount that you were traversing her forest, as you had done many times before, and noticed fresh foot prints of man. You decided that it would be a good idea to look and you found hunters trying to kill her Golden Stag. You had dove in as quickly as you could, shooting one- the arrow sailing in a clean arch through his wrist before he could let loose his arrow. But as you went to nock another arrow- a searing pain in your chest and heart. You looked down to see blood pooling around your robes, dying the olive green of your cloak a wine red. You remember the last thing you saw was the Golden Stag running away. You smiled telling her that you were happy he got away- you don’t know what you’d do if he had been captured despite your effort.

Artemis suddenly remembers that day: her stag rushing to her and urging her to follow him- he bounded through the forest, frantic and panicked. When they got to a clearing, she was quick to notice the blood and the drag marks of a body. Her stag pressed his nose to the ground sniffing at the pool of blood, his eyes watering and bulbous tears slid down his muzzle. It suddenly made sense. You were the one he was mourning for.

She couldn’t help but grab your hands, resting her forehead against the back of them; thanking you for protecting her stag when she couldn’t. You smile at her, bowing your head to her and thanking her for the countless hunts she went on with you. You pull your hands away from her and hold out your bow to her. She asks what you think you're doing in a watery voice and you say it’s an offering. You couldn’t give much when you were alive and you still can’t give much now, but, this bow- it shall treat her right.

She sniffles as she takes it, trying to hold in tears. She vows to treasure it for all of time as she admires the worn wood.

That day, the two of you became closer as comrades, she would actively come down to say hi to you (and encourage Zagreus to take the leap and court you after she learned of his growing affections for you). The two of you would talk about everything you could think of, explaining how your hunting styles differed or how you could set a trap easier. She had realized that she had never felt this carefree with anyone before. She felt like a child. It felt nice.

When you snag her a bottle of Ambrosia- she’s swaddled in a whirlwind of emotions.

“You… You got this for me?” She asks as she takes the bottle of golden liquid.

You nod, that gentle smiling spreading across your face. “Of course. You had helped me so many times- it is only fair, my Lady-”

“Artemis-” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles- “call me Artemis, my friend.”

She finds you to be a perfect friend- a breath of fresh air from home. She may not feel any romantic feelings towards you, but she still holds you in a dear place in her heart. Her gift to you is a new bow and quiver that will never run out of arrows. The bow is enchanted and you’ll never have to fear it breaking for it will protect you for as long as you exist- in this realm or another.

Ares

Cause of Death: Blood Loss

When Ares first sees you, he is… well- he’s impressed that you stumbled upon his boon, but at the same time… He’s a tad miffed? That you found it?

At the very least he’s condescending as all hell about it:

“What is this? A little lamb came to beg me for power? How foolish. No matter how hard you struggle you will never be much more than some little shade.”

“Ah, sorry, my Lord! Didn’t mean to bump into it!” You hold up the basket in your translucent arms, “I wanted to see if I could find some new ingredients to bake with! I do oh-so miss it, sir.”

Well, he wasn’t expecting that.

He ends up allowing you to chatter on with him despite his obvious judgement on your, what he calls, “soft mortal hobby” until Zagreus comes to do his daily try of breaking out from the Underworld.

As he watches you drift away (after passing the boon and giving words of good luck to the Prince, who happily takes it), he kinda hopes to see you again

And see you again he does! He literally sees you the next day- night? Whatever, he’s never sure when he drops a boon in there- it’s damn dark-

He’s presented with a basket of treats and your gleeful greeting as you chatter that you found ingredients to make some Baklava and you thought that, maybe, he’d like to try it?

He smiles- cruel and sharp- and asks if you truly think that this is a fit offering for a god such as himself?

You shrug, saying he doesn’t have to eat it if he doesn’t want to

He laughs and takes it and you two are off chattering again: him regaling you with his war stories and you of the ingredients you had (somehow) found down here until Zag shows up, once again, the boon is passed to him (this time along with a slice of the delicious, warm Baklava. Which, he’s confused on what it is but he finds out very quickly that it’s his favorite treat).

The two of you talk a lot, which Ares is pleasantly surprised about, usually he’s the scorn of everyone- not that he cares, it causes conflict and he likes that. But you’re so calm and sweet that he just can’t get a rise out of you. Which, on one hand, pisses him off to no end, but, on the other, it’s such a nice change of pace for him. He’s used to the bloodshed and animosity of battlefields- the iron tinged air that follows after the warriors that traverse those fields. And yet, here you are: a shade that always has a treat for him when you run into him and the smell of warm sweetness wafting after you.

So when he learned exactly how you died- he was absolutely floored.

“How did you die, little baker?” He asked one day, fiddling with his knife, tilting it discreetly so that your reflection was in it.

“Oh!” You smiled sheepishly, glancing away from him and placing the bag of flour (how did you even get that? He’d have to ask you next) back into your basket. “Well- you see, I bled out.”

He raised his eyebrow, suddenly very interested. “How? You’re so…” he tilted his head and flipped his knife so that the blade pointed at him and the hilt pointed at you, he poked your arm with said hilt. “Soft.”

“Well…”

You explain that you had a little brother who had a nasty habit of getting into trouble- he was a good person, just made foolish choices- and this time, it had cost you your life. He had pissed off the wrong person and, well, when the man had attempted to grab your brother when the two of you were out walking the stalls on your break- you did the only thing you could think of: you fought.

Of course it went horribly, you’ve never been in a fight before then and, despite all the work you did with dough, it didn’t help much when the man pulled out a knife and dug it straight into your gut. But, you don’t mind too much- your brother’s alive and well and, from what you understand from asking Lord Hades, he had started to be more aware of himself and who he angered. Which made you super happy and proud of him!

Ares can’t help but feel some sort of pity for you. So much life to be taken so quickly and placed in- wait. Why weren’t you in Elysium?

You’re incredibly confused when Ares suddenly disappears (Aphrodite appearing in his place in the blink of an eye- she greets you happily and asks if you have any of Baklava to share today. You do not but you do have some Loukoumades if she wanted some. She did). You’re even more confused when the Underworld shakes and angry yelling fills the entirety of it for a solid ten minutes before all goes back to normal.

You tell Ares about it the next day and he simply hums. Keeping it to himself that he made a whole scene about you not being in Elysium by popping up and butting heads with Hades, of course he got kicked out. That still doesn’t stop him from sending angry letters that can span anywhere from one word letters (usually containing a curse word) to a 30 page essay on why you should be in Elysium instead of milling about in such unkempt places.

The first time you go out of your way to get him a bottle of Ambrosia is the day that both scares the shit out of him and makes him hate you for giving him mushy feelings.

You came to him in, almost literal, tatters: your greenish, transparent form ripped in places, the few wisps of you following after your torn form like they were tied to a string. You had held it up to him in a basket, a plate of Baklava sitting next to it, along with some other treats. “Lady Aphrodite mentioned that she wanted to try my Baklava, so I made her some! Though the Ambrosia is just for you, my Lord!”

He blinked at you, taking the basket in a delicate hold. He turned it this way and that, his chest feeling… warm? He wanted to grimace at the soft warmth that thrummed through his veins, yet it was replaced with a smile as he held up the gold liquid. “Thank you, little Baker.”

It was the first time he felt something so unexplainably soft: so gentle and warm as it settled somewhere between the bottom of his ribcage and the top of his stomach. He listened as you told him how you had gotten it: with Zagreus’ help (you even got to meet Lord Hermes! It was so amazing! He had scoffed at that) he led you to a room with Ambrosia as the prize and, despite the young prince’s worry, you managed to beat the monsters and collect it, mostly, by yourself.

Ares was so flattered, but he couldn’t help the way that your tattered form made him feel a sort of worry. He waved his hands through the wisps of your body before he snapped his fingers and a small blade appeared: a beautifully constructed blade that was an exact replica of his (albeit much, much smaller). He handed it to you, telling you that you should have a proper weapon if you’re going to go out of your way to fight in his name.

Dionysus

Cause of Death: Alcohol Poisoning

Dionysus, unlike many, is incredibly excited to see you sitting there. He adores mortal souls and can’t help but look at them each time Zag chooses his boons and he has the chance to glimpse at their souls (despite his tendency to let them go completely after they die- he can’t help but wonder about them once in a while).

“Why, hello there! What’s a little thing like you doing strolling up to my boon, hm?”

He can’t help but notice the way your eyes are a tad dull, but he writes that off as the dark of Tartarus since it’s gone as fast as he noticed it. You smile up at him, absolutely beaming at the God of drink and madness. “Hello, Lord Dionysus!”

“Oho, you could tell it was me? What gave it away?”

The two of you laugh, diving into a conversation. He offers you a cup of wine and is put off with how long it takes you to decline it. He almost thought you looked absolutely ravenous as you peered into the deep red liquid. He shrugs it off and continues to chatter with you until his favorite Zagman stumbles upon the two of you. He’s quick to say hi to you and even leans down to ask you… something. Dionysus misses it, but still watches the way you stiffly nod before you pass the boon to the prince and scurry off.

He’s tempted to ask about it, but decides that he should probably ask you himself instead of trying to pry. Mortals didn’t take well to people snooping around their private lives, which he could respect.

The next time he sees you though, he relaxes you into a sort of peaceful lull as he chats with you before he drops the question.

You stare blankly at him, that dark look in your eye coming back and making his skin crawl. You suddenly laugh it off waving your hands as you tell him that a god shouldn’t worry about a little ol’ shade like you.

He doesn’t push for an answer but the question still swirls in his mind, even as you toddle off after his Zagman pops up. He decides that he’ll actually ask the Prince this time around.

He asks him point blank and Zag, despite him being hesitant at first, decides to spill how you died. You had been the black sheep of your family, never truly fitting into the carefully set path that they wanted you to follow- so you found solace in drinking from a young age. It had taken the edge off of everything, Zagreus recounted you telling him. It filled you with a warmth you had been missing all your life and you couldn’t help but indulge more and more in it until it slowly became your own personal poison. Dionysus grimaced, for once feeling a sort of queasiness in the pit of his stomach as Zagreus continued on with your story. So, one day, you had drunk yourself into a deep stupor after an awful argument with your parents. But, this time, you never woke up. Instead you woke up floating in the river of blood- the River of Styx.

Dionysus had nodded after the Prince finished the story, playing with the goblet in his hand and swirling the red wine that resides in it. He offers a bitter smile to Zag and bids his farewell (of course leaving a boon of his choice with the lad) popping off back to Olympus.

The next time he runs into you, he asks if you’re feeling alright- if you want to talk. You blink at him, confused at first until realization dawns you. You bite your lip, looking down. He’s quick to assure you that you didn’t have to talk about anything- you two could just have a good time like always. You tell him that you’d like that, not yet ready to face your past. He nods, immediately telling you about an embarrassing story about Ares and how much of a lightweight he was which had you letting out an ugly snort along with your loud cackles.

The god begins to take it upon himself to have you smiling more and maybe remedy those dark clouds that appear in your eyes once in a while. He’s pretty observant despite being piss drunk half the time, it also helps that he’s very intune to your emotions for some odd reason, so he’s quick to pick up on when you feel down or your having something the equivalent to a relapse. He has you drink just a little bit from his goblet since it’s better than quitting cold turkey. And that little bit is always enough to quench your thirst and calm you down. You’ve been needing less and less of it as the days (nights?) pass by.

The first time you get Dionysus Ambrosia is the same day that he almost swears that he’ll marry you. He’s quick to grow emotional with the sheer fact that you went out of your way to get something so special for him, his face almost splitting with how wide of a smile he has on his face.

“You got this for me, man?” He says, holding up the bottle in his hand and inspecting it like it’s a precious jewel. “You know this stuff is hard to come by, super hard.”

You nod, the clouds far from your eyes now. “I had to thank you some way and punching a couple of Shades to get my hands on that was worth it.”

“You punched people for me?”

“Of course.”

He fights the urge to squeal and pops the top off, summoning another cup and pouring some in it. “Here’s to us!” He says as he hands you the cup.

He’s honestly never had so much fun just existing with one person. After that he’s never far from you, one usually not seen without the other around- even despite the Underworld not being Dionysus’ favorite place, he can’t help but be willing to venture down there to see you in person (he’s been trying to convince his wonderful Uncle Hades to let you come up with him to Olympus for a little bit- he’s even got his dad and (other) Uncle in on it. Hades officially hates all of them). His gift to you is a matching goblet that will supply you any beverage of your choice. It also has the double power to protect you from all that wishes to harm you, but you’ll learn that in due time. It’ll be more fun that way, Dionysus muses.

Hermes

Cause of Death: Falling

Usually, Heremes wouldn’t have taken the time of day to chatter mindlessly with a shade. But, it was a different story when that shade summoned him through bumping into his boon- now it’s just interesting!

“Eh? Who’re you? It’s kinda strange for a shade to be here and not my Cos, huh? Did something happen to him? You his stand in or something? That’d be kinda funny because you don’t seem like his stand in- not buff enough or something like that.”

You blink slowly taking in the words of his mile a minute speech as he continues to prattle on. You take a seat in front of the quick mouthed god, getting yourself comfortable as he flutters about and chatters. Not like you minded- he filled in the places where you couldn’t with steady conversation. You nod to some of the quips he makes, just to show you were still listening.

He decides then and there that he likes you a lot and that you should meet Charon. As soon as Zagreus pops up to collect the boon- he grabs the back of your robes and goes zooming off with you in tow. You wave to the panicked prince, allowing yourself to be dragged around. He continues to chatter on and on, only taking a break when he reaches the Boatman (who was not expecting a Shade to be accompanying the God of Messengers). He sets you down, tries to introduce you two to each other- realizes he doesn’t know your name, so you end up telling them your name- and then is quick to say goodbye, after he gives a scroll to Charon, and shoots off.

You end up staying with Charon after learning a bit more about the quiet boatman and Hermes is quite pleased when he realizes that he’d be seeing you around a lot more. He’s quick to flutter about you and chatter for a few quick seconds before zipping off. You wave at him.

The process repeats for a while before he finally takes a moment to really sit with you, Charon having gone to pick up more souls and lead them down the River of Styx. He chatters on aimlessly, asking little questions here and there before he decides to ask the million dollar question: “How did you die?”

You blink slowly as him before murmuring that you fell from a very high place, you head cracking open on the rocks at the bottom and now here you are. He asks why you were messing about on a high place, as that seemed to be something most mortals avoided doing. You explained that there was a kitten stuck in an old root on the ledge and you couldn’t just leave her. So, you crawled onto the branch and put her back onto safe ground, but the root gave way and then you went tumbling to your doom.

Hermes is surprisingly quiet throughout the entire exchange until you reach the end and he says: “you’re a real bleeding heart under all that quiet, huh?” You nod solemnly and he laughs, pulling you into a side hug. How could something with such a fleeting life be so selfless with it? He squeezes you harder before he stands up and bids you farwell, shooting off once again. And, again, you wave as he goes.

He grows attached to you quickly afterwards, bringing you little things that might help make you more comfortable down in the Underworld. Of course Charon is there to keep you company which he’s happy about- and he voices that exact thought to the boatman, who just grumbles out a long: uuuuaagghhh as his reply. He pats his arm and says that he knew he’d get it.

When you manage to get your hands on a bottle of Ambrosia- he’s completely blind sided that he almost trips on his own feet. His face flushing a deep red as he takes the offered bottle.

“How’d- how’d you get this?” His speech is all jumbled and jumpy, though he tries to keep the giddy excitement bubbling in his stomach as bay.

“I saved up my coin,” you said, nodding to Charon who nods back. “And bought it from Charon. I would’ve fought for it, but I’m no warrior.”

A smile splits across his face and the wings on the side of his head flutter. He’s quick to scoop you up and hug you, floating up with you as he does.

Hermes is an absolute giddy mess with your offering, not sure if he should kiss you or simply remain holding you. He had a special place for you before but this just solidifies his adoration for you. His gift to you is a pair of boots with wings on the side of them- an exact replica of his (in your size! Somehow-). He promises that they’ll help you get anywhere you want quickly, also the two of you match! How cute is that?

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hwascripts · 4 years ago

Text

Masterlist

WC: Unknown

TW: Swearing, mentions of murder, a bit of angst, I think that’s it!

This is heavily unedited because it’s my Levi simp hours and I need Dad!Levi headcanons. Also your kid and Eren’s kid are gender neutral

Levi as a father

-I honestly don’t picture Levi as someone who planned on having kids but rather someone who ends up having kids by complete accident. Living in the walls during a war is absolute hell and he doesn’t want his kids to suffer the same way he did growing up.

-Whether or not the kid is adopted or his biological kid- it doesn’t matter to him, he couldn’t give less of a shit about the parentage of his kid...if he raises the kid then you better believe it’s his kid.

If your kid is adopted then here’s how I picture you guys becoming their parents

- During one of your expeditions beyond the walls you find (what you think is) an abandoned cabin in the woods. When you point it out Levi just tells you to ignore it and focus on the task Erwin gave you, but you have this weird gut feeling that someone is in there. While Levi is distracted you go off to the cabin and peek inside and to your horror- there is a small child, no older than a few months crying in it’s deceased mothers arms. You run over and pry the crying baby from the mother’s hands and immediately start trying to hush it’s cries

-Levi notices the fact that you’ve left his side after a few minutes of silence and he pinches his nose in frustration- of course you went to check out the cabin he told you to ignore. He flies away from the tree he was perched on and makes his way to the cabin to look for you- upon reaching the cabin his eyes widen from pure shock. Where the hell did you get a crying baby from? he can’t help but be filled with sorrow when he notice’s the child’s dead parents on the ground behind you- bandits had probably murdered them.

-The two of you have a huge argument about what you should do with the orphan child and this results in the two of you not speaking for over a week. But as the week goes on, he realizes that him and that baby are more similar than he thinks. Levi never had a father- the closest father figure in his life being Kenny who abandoned him at a young age, and his dear mother Kuchel who died of sickness when he was just a boy. Both Levi and the child didn’t have parents in their lives, fate cruelly ripping that away from them. He see’s himself in that baby.

-After a week of silence Levi storms into your office only to catch you asleep with the baby on your chest, his heart softens just the slightest bit at the image. He sits next to you and gently shakes you awake- careful to not wake the sleeping baby. Before you can even say anything he quietly states:

-”we’re not abandoning the baby, we can raise them together”

-All the worry and stress you carried melted away after hearing his words.

If your kid was biologically his, this is how I picture it turning out:

-The day Hanji informed you that you were pregnant was quite possibly one of the worst days of your life (sorry to be angsty) how the hell could you have gotten pregnant? the amount of stress, physical strain on your body and sleepless nights is not ideal for fertility- so how the hell did this happen?

-How the hell would you even tell Levi? The topic of children has never once come up and you’re sure he would never want to raise a child in the walls while titans destroy and kill everyone in sight. Besides- the two of you already have enough on your plates as it is.

- You’d tell him straight out that you were pregnant during your nightly tea time before bed, just straight up dropping the news on him. It takes a few seconds for him to fully register what you just told him but once he finally understands he drops his teacup, the boiling hot tea staining his jacket. All he can do is sputter like a fish out of water and aggressively try to clean the stain.

- I’m going to be realistic here- the last thing he would do is jump for joy and kiss you. I hate to be angsty again but realistically he’d probably storm off and go for a walk around the town while he tries to take in the news. I see him unintentionally ignoring you for a few days while he tries to accept the fact that the two of you are bringing a child into this world.

-After about a week he’s finally calmed himself enough to talk to you about the situation and what the best thing for the two of you is. Again, he isn’t happy that you guys are bringing a kid into this- but who the hell would be? but he sure as hell won’t take that out on the kid, he thinks that’s the most pathetic thing you can do as a parent.

-”look, our situation is shitty but I’m not leaving you to raise the brat on your own”

How he is as a father

- I’m not going to lie to you, he is not the type to coddle his kid or show them a lot of affection. To be honest he doesn’t know a single thing about parenting, the only “parent” he had taught him violence and then left Levi to fend for himself- but he does know that most children don’t grow up around violence so he refuses to be even the slightest bit like his uncle Kenny.

- 100% calls his kid brat, ankle-biter, kid...you name it- but he doesn’t mean it in a derogatory way because deep down inside he still has a soft spot for the kid.

-He rarely ever shows physical affection to the kid because he just doesn’t know how, he never knew the affectionate touch of another human until you came along. That’s not to say that he doesn’t love his kid- he would sacrifice his life without second thought to protect them.

-He doesn’t realize how distant and cold he can be to his kid until he overhears them crying to you about how “daddy doesn’t love me” and his heart just shatters into a million pieces because he DOES love them but for the life of him he just can’t find a way to show it.

-Levi ends up sitting down with the kid and having a conversation that was long overdue (for reference the kid is now 7 years old) and he admits that he loves them more than anything for the first time.

-Your kid just stares at him for a second and blinks because this is the VERY FIRST TIME they’re hearing their dad say I love you- Levi nearly has a heart attack when the kid launches themselves into his chest and starts sobbing.

-For the very first time in 7 years this kid is finally experiencing the love from their father (besides awkward headpats) and the feeling is just so foreign to both of them that even Levi sniffles a little bit

-Levi silently rocks them back and forth while he rubs their back, the child’s sobs turning into soft sniffles. But what Levi says next shocks all three of you.

“I’m sorry for being a terrible father. forgive me little one?”

-You don’t know what shocks you more- the fact he apologized or that he called your child “little one” instead of the usual “brat”. The kid looks at him while wiping their tears away.

“you’re not a bad daddy. I love you papa”

-To this day Levi swears he just had watery eyes because of the dust but you know damn well they were fat tears rolling down his face

-After this incident Levi swears to himself that he’ll be a more affectionate father, a father who tells his kid that he’s proud of them, a father who their kid can rely on.

-He’s tough on his kid and never lets them slack off, he scolds them whenever they make bad choices and sometimes your kid says he’s got a stick up his ass (you lightly scold them but the two of you always end up laughing because it’s true) but your husband deeply cares for your child and does it so they can grow into the best version of themselves.

-Did I mention that he absolutely flips the fuck out when your kid brings home Eren’s kid to introduce you to them? You have to sit on him to make sure that he doesn’t strangle the poor bastard.

“If that son of a bitch is anything like his father then they’re going home in a bodybag!” “Levi you can’t threaten them just because they’re Eren’s kid!” “Like hell I can’t! nobody is good enough for our child”

-Your kid quickly learns that they can’t bring their significant other home while Levi is there- unless they have a death wish. The two of you team up to keep Levi distracted for a few hours while the couple chills in your living room

-Your kid swears like a sailor (just like their dad) and Levi swears on his life that he’s not the one that taught them that.

“What the hell do you mean? I didn’t do shit! I don’t fucking know where they picked that up from!” *cue you looking into the camera*

-He’s so damn proud when he see’s his kid graduate at the top of their class. He doesn’t scream at the top of his lungs when your kid walks across the stage but he pulls them to the side after and congratulates them with a small smile on his face

“Good job. I’m proud of you, damn brat”

-Gives them one of his rare Levi hugs and the kid nearly drops the diploma in shock because “wtf dad never hugs me”

-You have to pinch his side multiple times during your kid and Eren’s kids wedding because he won’t shut the hell up with snarky remarks

“Say no goddamnit!” *you pinch him*

“Ow son of a bitch! what the fuck Y/n?”

“Would you shut the hell up and be happy for our child on their wedding day?!”

“I would if our child had taste and picked someone el- OW FUCK!”

“Shut the fuck up already and behave, Levi!”

-He grumbles while the rest of the former cadets and captains laugh at his sour look

Silly headcanons

-God could you imagine Levi and your kid sitting at the dinner table, it’s almost midnight and they’re arguing over a homework question neither of them understand. This is the night both of you hear your kid swear

“What the hell is this shit? Improper fractions are made-up bullshit”

“If you don’t know then how the fuck am I suppose to know?”

-It’s so silent you can hear a pin drop

“Levi come here for a second”

“Shit...finish this while I’m gone, brat”

-Your kid laughs their ass off while you pull Levi’s ear and drag him to your shared room

‘Yeah keep fucking laughing at your dad, brat!”

“LEVI!”

-An absolute nightmare when it comes to cleaning oh my god both you and your kid wanna kill him sometimes

“This shit isn’t clean, you wipe it down six times and then place it at an angle”

“Levi it’s a fucking T.V. Remote”

-The war ended years ago now and he tells your kid about all the titans he killed and the ass he kicked

“And then I sliced that ugly bastard titan’s head clean off!”

“Levi for someone who’s a clean freak your stories sure are gross”

-The noise the toaster makes when it’s done scares the shit out of him. He’ll be in the middle of scolding your kid and then he jumps because the toaster is done and your kid just thinks it’s comedic gold

“I fucking told you not to do that shit but you went and did it anyways, do you know how irresponsi-FUCK! damn toaster- Hey stop laughing brat I’m not done yet!”

That’s all I’ve got for now- stay tuned

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sixeyesgojo · 4 years ago

Text

Pictures of You

Summary: prequel to I’ll Be Your Enemy - fluffy!

Characters: IBYE!Reader, Gojo, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara

Word count: 2,3k

Content warning: none

A/N: requested by @thecaptainsbride

If anybody got the reference Gojo made when he was late; congratulations, you have been successfully hurt (but this time it was not me).

Since I left the relationship between Gojo and the reader up for interpretation in IBYE, I will do the same here! Consider this piece me trying to mend your hearts <3

Taglist applications open for anyone who is interested!

“A trip to an amusement park or something like that doesn’t sound so bad,” you mused in front of Satoru. “It serves as relaxation and maybe the first-years can get closer to each other, you know, bonding and so on. They will see each other many times from now on, so getting along with each other is important,” you reasoned, your eyes almost sparkling from the thought of a day off.

“But Jujutsu Sorcery is an individual–” he began.

“Satoru, I think you should see this as vacation. A vacation where you can eat sweets until your teeth rot and absolutely nobody will hold you back,” you interrupted him.

“Okay, I am sold. Am listening now.” You just knew how to convince him. Sweets.

So that was exactly how the first-year students and you ended up at a fairground somewhere in Tokyo; it was quite neat, not too small but not too spacious either. None of you could get lost in it. Still, it was buzzing with life and all kinds of people mingled. The colorfulness was a refreshing sight to take in, compared to the dark world of Jujutsu Sorcery where seeing people suffer was your daily routine. The pleasant smell of food wafted through the air, making your mouth water, as you walked past the different booths with them. Waffles sounded like absolute heaven on earth right now.

Jujutsu Sorcery certainly was a draining sport, mentally as well as physically. Therefore it was only right to take a break at times, right? Self-care days were just as important as working.

In order to wind down a bit, you had suggested a one-day trip – just you, Satoru and the three first-year students you had adopted in your mind right away after meeting them several times.

“Sensei, you look very pretty today!” Yuji complimented you. Even Megumi noticed: “Did you have a haircut? Your hair seems a little bit shorter.”

“Yeah, Nobara had a field day with me. Cutting my hair.. or more like trimming the ends, choosing my outfit, doing my make-up and so on just for today,” you gushed as if you were a high school girl again. “Leave it to master stylist Kugisaki Nobara and nobody will ever look bad,” the brunette girl commended herself. Yuji was affectionately patting her on the back.

Undoubtedly, Satoru was late – nobody was surprised about that. You already went ahead and generously treated the trio of students you loved dearly to some food.

“Thank you for the food, sensei!” As usual, Yuji and Nobara were in perfect harmony with each other, seemingly sharing a brain.

“Thank you very much,” Megumi also expressed his thanks sweetly. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought the way his lips seemed to twitch was unintentional. “Absolutely no problem, kiddos. You guys enjoy it while I try to contact Gojo-sensei, yeah?” you shot them an apologetic smile, already fishing out your phone. The three of them nodded in perfect synchronization. They’re as cute as little ducklings, you thought.

You didn’t even need to bother calling.

You were about to dial Satoru’s number on your smartphone when Yuji’s voice boomed, “Oh! There he is! Gojo-sensei, we are here!!”

The boy waved at his teacher.

Satoru immediately spotted the pink-haired student and skipped over to where you all were standing. “Sorry for the wait! I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life!!”

“Nice of you to finally join us, but sadly, the fun is already over and we decided to go home. Just wanted to call you to let you know! We’ve been here since morning,” you deadpanned as the white-haired man arrived, looking Satoru dead in the eye – if they weren’t covered. “Wait, wha– Hold on, I am very sure I am not that late. MY MOCHI?” Satoru sounded frantic, facing his students who just shrugged their shoulders. “Serves you right,” Megumi stated calmly. Nobara, being the sassy girl she was, also joined in, “Losers don’t get to have fun and that’s a fact.”

It was such a wholesome and funny moment for you to see the students playing along with your prank without being told beforehand.

You broke out in laughter, not being able to contain it any longer, “You should have seen your face, dumbass! I was just joking!”

“Phew, I almost thought I had to kiss the idea of eating sweets today goodbye. What a horror that would be, my day would be OVER this instant,” the blindfolded man pouted, “so where should I buy my sweets? I’m gonna buy the entire place anyway, but where do I start? Any suggestions for Great Teacher Gojo?”

“Hold up, Satoru! We gotta take a picture together to commemorate this special day!” you suggested, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. “I swear I just saw sensei’s eyes sparkle but I might be wrong,” Yuji remarked, looking at his dark-haired friend for confirmation.

“Sensei, if you want to take a picture, we have to take it at the right angle!” Nobara chimed in, the secret Instagram influencer in her on full display. She continued to explain, “It would come out great if Gojo-sensei took the pic, long arms privilege and so on.”

The female student almost seemed more into it than you were, it was adorable to you to see the usually bold student be this into taking pictures.

You hand the tall man your phone, but not without shooting him a “if you drop my phone, I’ll make you drop dead” look.

“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation,” the male teacher commanded loudly. Upon hearing that, Megumi immediately slapped his hand in his face and turned away in embarrassment. Why was this man like this?

“...Ladies?” Yuji asked, the expression on his face screaming ‘confusion’ “Gojo-sensei just referenced a Beyoncé song, Itadori,” the dark-haired boy explained in a hushed tone, turning back slightly as if he did not want to get caught.

“And it’s not just any song!” Satoru happily chimed in. “Yes, yes, the good old Formation,” you added, nodding in satisfaction. You remember how you showed him the album when it dropped.

“Can we all just ignore Gojo-sensei and take our pic?” Nobara inquired as she shoved everybody into their respective spots. “Alright, everybody, smiiiiile for the camera. Say cheese!”

Click, click, click, click.

Finally, Satoru had gotten his share of sweets. Complying with his sweet tooth was always an effective way to calm him for some time. Almost like feeding a baby, in a way.

Now it was time for fun rides!

...or at least that was what you thought… until Satoru dragged you along to ride a freaking pendulum ride with him. The three students had managed to talk themselves out of stepping foot on that monster of a ride but Satoru didn’t even give you a chance to refuse, he simply gripped your arm and walked towards it.

Stopping only when you were already standing in line, you nervously eyed the metallic behemoth with its iron arm. The monstrosity was seemingly ready to make you throw up from the way it would spin you through the air repeatedly, going back and forth and back and forth again. Why did you have to do this?

“Satoru,” you called his name timidly and tugged at his sleeve, the strange feeling not leaving your gut, “do I really, really have to do this?”

“Absolutely! I promise it will be very fun,” Satoru replied with a signature grin you wanted to wipe off of his face at that moment.

No, it was not fun. At all. You were dizzy and your fear of height was kicking. The blasts of air hitting your face left, right and center were not helping at all and you were sure, if anybody took a picture of you right now, you would look horribly green.

“I– can’t do this anymore!” you shouted mid-air, right before the ride swung to the other side. The force knocked the air out of you once again.

“SATORU, PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE!” you begged and squeezed his arm with an iron grip. The height was too overwhelming. “Mid-ride?” Satoru asked and you nodded frantically. “Now that’s what I call reckless! Sounds like fun. I’m in!” he declared with a grin.

“Domain Expansion: Infinite Void.”

That was the last thing you heard the tall man say before he touched your head with his large palm.

Your eyes widened in horror as you realized this man used his domain this recklessly, for fun. Maybe it was a side effect of being able to use it multiple times a day.

The infinity gently wrapped itself around Satoru and you. Almost movie-like, you watched as the entire, vast universe beautifully unfolded in front of your eyes. Each star being created separately, then abruptly flashing by as a sea of stars – as if you were in a wormhole. You perceived the entire domain within a flash of a moment, yet tasted eternity in it. Everything but nothing at once.

Despite being touched by Satoru himself, the sensations weren’t without merit. If this was how it felt to be in the safe space of Satoru’s touch within his inner world of Limitless, you would rather not fathom how it felt to be the one hit by this powerful domain.

It took you some time to process things and recollect.

“When I said I wanted you to get the two of us out of that thing, I didn’t mean ‘send me to your domain’,” you scolded him.

“Well, it was convenient,” he defended himself and you could almost hear the grin on his face, “Bet you’ll hate me after this though.”

“Hating you was never really an option I’d ever consider but okay, we’ll run with it this time. Now undo your domain, please, while I am asking nicely.”

“Your wish is my command! This time at least.”

“Satoru.” A stern last warning fell from your lips.

“Yes, yes, boss. On it.”

“I thought you said it’ll be fun but I am absolutely not riding that thing ever again,” you took deep breaths to calm down as your feet securely touched the ground again. Your legs were still trembling a bit.

“And it was fun! At least for me! I like seeing you struggle – it’s so funny – and the way you clung to my arm? Adorable! You are so tiny compared to me, like a bug I could crush between my fingers!” The annoying sorcerer laughed merrily.

“Gojo fucking Satoru, the only thing that is about to be crushed here are your balls. With my leg. You are very lucky to have that damn Infinity of yours or else,” you threatened.

“Ouch, you really do know how to hurt an invincible man,” he snickered and flicked your forehead lightly.

Rejoining with the students was easy as they all saw the barrier Satoru’s domain created.

“You are lucky there was some kind of show going on down here. That barrier above would have freaked people out if they weren’t distracted,” Nobara said, looks shooting daggers at her weird teacher. Innocent and as nice as ever, Yuji pitched in as well: “Yeah, Fushiguro also tried to distract children with their wandering eyes! I think he did a good job.”

“Okay but what did he do though?” you asked curiously and looked at the boy in question.

“...Shadow puppets,” Megumi slowly admitted, looking anywhere but at the people in front of him.

“Oh? You love your foster-dad-turned-great-teacher this much to embarrass yourself out in public? That’s new!” Satoru teased the poor boy. “Someone has to be the voice of reason around here or you’d all be in jail. That includes preventing civilians who are able to see curses from seeing you use Jujutsu while floating mid-air,” he justified, ignoring the tall teacher’s mockery completely.

“As much as I love slandering Gojo-sensei, I’d rather spend my day actually having fun,” Nobara pitched in, reminding everybody of why you were here in the first place.

“So, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” she added excitedly.

More fun rides.

Before you knew it, the day passed by. You could already feel the heaviness in your legs from walking. The swirling feeling from all the rides boded in your chest – you probably would not be able to sleep well tonight. It was definitely worth it though, you thought.

You had already brought the students back to their dorm – Satoru had ran off to the school because he remembered he had to do something – and were on the way home yourself.

You were in some sort of trance, completely immersed in your phone, so you hadn’t registered when Satoru called your name until he gently tapped your shoulder, falling into step with you.

“Yeah?” you looked up to Satoru, snapping out of your train of thought.

“Just wanted to tell you; ‘Operation: Relaxation Day’ was a great success.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Satoru.” A genuine smile graced your lips and for a moment, he softened at the sight.

“You know what? It was amazing, I really should start listening to you more often,” he confessed with a smirk.

“Well, it’s thanks to your amazing power of persuasion that we got to spend it like this, so thanks for today,” you half-heartedly complimented him.

“You do know I only said we’d not be available today and then dashed, right?” he asked you, the usual playful tone lacing his voice. “Exactly what I meant by saying ‘your amazing power of persuasion’.”

“I think I’ll frame the picture we took,” you murmured softly, fondly looking at the screen of your phone. The picture from earlier was displayed on your homescreen.

Surely, you would hang it on the blank wall in your home as well. It was a personal treasure now.

Taglist (dm me if you wanna be added): @assbuttbaek @megumifushi @bleueluna @gojos-mochi @delammi

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x y/n #domain expansion #infinite void #ibye series

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